#these are all probably going to be too niche to have good tags anyway.

[ohheavenlyblog]

TY WEBB - CADDYSHACK ⊹ stimboard !!

x . x . x / x . ⛳ . x / x . x . x

[runawaycarouselhorse]

Don't feel too bad for him, it's all consequences of his own actions.

[beatcroc]

first of all thank you 😭😭😭 omg, but also u guys know i go through the tag like twice a week right. there's a couple things i have blacklisted simply because I Cannot Keep Up but aside from that i do see, like, the majority of stuff posted there; and anyone who's been following me knows i reblog anything man

We once again interrupt the Marx content for my secondary special interest

[fanfics-for-you]

what's in a name? || Patrick Verona (TTIHAY) x gn!reader (Modern!College!AU)

AVAILABLE ON AO3 (SOON)

Inspiration: ✨️Patrick Verona✨️

Summary: Patrick Verona is apparently the most intimidating guy on campus. You just want to get by, pass your classes, and get to your actual dreams. When you casually approach him one day and decidedly are not scared of him, Patrick has some questions.

TWs: light language, use of Y/N (only like twice), second person POV (you, yours).

[[A/N: This is basically under the concept that you approach Patrick first, and aren't really as afraid of him as anybody else. He's intrigued. Also this is a college AU, because I am in college and I think it's weird to write about high school lmao. ALSO,,, I know this is incredibly niche and a dead tag, but... I watched the movie recently and was violently possessed to write this. The parasites in me what to continue this universe, but idk. Anyway. Enjoy :)]]

You were exhausted. Totally and completely exhausted.

You'd stayed up all night for your chem quiz, and still, didn't think you did great on it. Which made your day ever so worse. So, when you went to the library, and someone was sitting in the spot you always sat in, you halfway wanted to cry and halfway wanted to rip your hair out. Normally, such a thing wouldn't be a big deal, but today it was. So, with a certainty that rivaled a lawyer in court, you stomped over to the chair.

For a moment, the guy didn't even look at you. He kept staring at his friend, a surprisingly 'metal' dressing guy who was talking avidly about something.

You cleared your throat.

That's when they both looked at you.

You were entirely focused on the one in your seat. A taller guy with built shoulders, curly hair and a sharp jaw. In normal circumstances, you'd probably think he was hot. Today was not normal circumstances.

The man raised an eyebrow.

Okay, so maybe it was a little normal circumstances, but that wasn't relevant.

"What are you doing?"

The man answered, simply -maybe a little confused, "Sitting?"

"That's my spot," you clarified, pointedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" the man pretended to start getting up before pausing -speaking sarcastically, "-Oh wait, I've just remembered, this is public property."

Mindlessly noting that he had an accent that you couldn't quite place, you rolled your eyes, "I sit there everyday. Just give me the spot."

"You weren't sitting here all day," he pointed out, "-or else I wouldn't be here."

You pressed your lips together into a thin line, "I was busy failing a chem test, now get up."

His eyes skimmed over your face, thoughtfully, "Do you know who I am?"

"Why-" you sighed out, frustrated, "-would I know who you are?"

Even despite the comment, he did seem familiar somehow but you weren't going to tell him that.

He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, and didn't say anything. You felt like you were going to explode in fiery flames.

You groaned, "Oh my god. There are thousands of seats on campus, just go sit somewhere else."

"Exactly," the man countered, "-why don't you sit somewhere else?"

"Because-" you huffed out a breath, "-that's my spot."

"And why is this spot so important to you?" He shuffled slightly, moving his hands along the cracks of the seat, "-You got something good stashed in 'ere?"

"Dear god," you huffed out a breath in defeat, "-Whatever. Enjoy your seat, asshole."

And with that, you spun on your heel and pulled yourself deeper into the library. Taking a breath in, you pulled yourself into a seat not too far from the original, but you were around the corner so you wouldn't have to look at his stupid face. You soured just at the thought.

You pulled open your chem book, and read through it -trying to figure out which ones you definitely missed, that way you could get the ballpark for what your grade might be. You really needed to know, to make sure your GPA stayed in the range for your dream university.

But, in the middle of it, you heard someone plop into the chair in front of you (it was a group of chairs, like for a group of people if necessary).

Before looking up, you spoke -sharply, "Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Your eyes shot up at that familiar accent, and you frowned.

"You got the seat," you pointed out, bitterly, "-What the hell do you want now?"

"Your name," he answered simply.

You blinked, (what?) before settling back into your seat and flipping to the next page, "Yeah, no."

The man seemed to move forward, and unwillingly your eyes flickered to him (his curls moving with the motion), "Why not?"

"I don't give my name out to strangers," you retorted -flicking your eyes down to your book, "-especially not assholes."

"Don't know if I can change who I am," he smirked, "-but, I can work on the stranger part."

You frowned, eyeing him particularly, "Seriously, what do you want?"

"I already told you," he replied, fidgeting with something in his hands (you weren't paying attention), "-I'm Patrick, by the way."

"Well," you exhaled, sharply, and ignored his name, "-you're not getting it."

"Well," he repeated with the same sort of grin, "-I'll just have to work on that too, then."

You looked up at him again and squinted at him -trying to read him somehow. All he did was grin at you, a charming kind, of course, that made crinkles on his cheeks. You ignored the flutter in your chest that it gave you and darted your eyes back down to your book.

The next day, you were in better spirits. After studying for an entirely different class, you were pretty sure you aced that test. So, you weren't as pissed, thankfully. Until you went into the library to sit between classes like you always did.

You paused in your step and frowned.

The guy (Patrick, your mind treacherously noted) was sitting by your chair, mindlessly tapping his fingers along the arm of the chair. He wasn't in your chair, thankfully, but still, he was in the one beside it. Pointedly close.

You huffed out a breath, and moved toward the chairs, "What are you doing?"

"Sitting," he repeated.

You raised an eyebrow.

He seemed to take that as a repeat of the question -before saying, confidently (too confidently), "I'm studying for a test."

"You don't seem like the studying type," you retorted, throwing yourself into the chair and pulling out your laptop -realizing it was no use to try and get him to leave.

Patrick pointed out, "You don't even know me."

"And I don't intend to," you replied with ease, flicking your eyes to meet his, "-your point?"

He grinned the same bright one from before, amused maybe. Your heart skipped a beat, so you dropped your eyes back down to your laptop. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to look away.

"What's your major?" He asked, thoughtfully.

"I won't tell you my name," you leveled, scrolling through your online schedule for homework, "-but you think I'll tell you my major?"

"Well," he reasoned, "-a name is much more identifiable, but your major," he shrugged, "-not so much."

You eyed him again for a second, before saying, "What if you just want to look up my classes and hunt me down?"

Patrick smiled again, before asking, "What is your next class?"

"Why?" You ask, pointedly, "-So you can force me into talking to you again?"

"Preferably," he replied, grinning cheekily.

You raised an eyebrow, and bit your lip to pull down a smile that begged to quirk up, "I'm not telling you that either."

"What if I just follow you when you leave?" He questioned, curiously, "-Figure it out myself?"

"And what if I-" you smiled at him -patronizingly, "-call the campus police?"

He raised both eyebrows as if to say 'touché' without saying it out loud. You bit down another smile and moved back to your computer -pulling out your planner and jotting down dates.

"Your pissiness," he suddenly spoke, "-Are you often filled with boiling hatred?"

"No," you sigh out, before shooting him another patronizing smile, "-that's special just for you."

He laughed then, and something warm zinged down to your toes (you ignored it), "Do you seriously not know me?"

"Do you know how many Patricks exist in the world?" you point out, "-No, I don't know you."

"So you do remember my name," he smirked, patting along his lap with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes but didn't say a word.

It ended up like that for the rest of the time, Patrick shooting questions now and then, and you shutting them down. His stupid smirk and low, rumbly, accented voice, you hated that he actually seemed kinda nice -all things considered.

But, as you stood up to leave, you decided on something.

"Literature," you said simply, gathering up everything into your bag.

He paused, shooting up his eyebrows, "What?"

"My next class," you answered, nonchalantly pulling your bag onto your shoulder, "-Intro to Literature."

Patrick grinned, bright and shiny, "Gen Ed?"

"Yeah," you answered, moving to put the last few things in your bag.

"Can I walk you?"

Your eyes snapped to him then, curiously -detailing the rather honest look, before answering solidly, "No."

He burst into laughter then, throwing his head back against the chair -you mindlessly watched his curls fall back with the motion and then snapped your eyes away.

"Same time tomorrow then?" He asked, still laughing a little bit (something in you twinkled).

"Nope," you exhale a breath, ignoring the disappointment that swirled into your chest, "-I'm not on campus tomorrow."

He seemed to falter for a second, "Do you live on campus?"

You raised a solid eyebrow, you really think I'd tell you that?

"Right, yeah, okay," Patrick conceded, holding up his hands in faux surrender, "-What days are you on campus?"

You paused, pressing your lips together, but something in you did it, "Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays."

He grinned a little brighter, "Are you here around the same time on Mondays?"

Something in your chest flipped, but even still, you answered, "That's what you have to figure out. Not me."

And then, you spun on your heel and walked out of the library. His laughter trailed out behind you, and if you had a small little smile on your face at the noise, that was only for you to know.

Monday came, and you woke up early and made your way to campus -the first class of the day was at the crack of dawn. You physically despised it, but so is the schedule of a college student. Plus, you still worked, so the earlier the better for your schedule -didn't mean it didn't suck though.

Sipping on your drink, you wandered back toward the cafeteria -crossing the main connecting area, where everything led to. There was a baseball game going on, not an official one by the looks of it, in the grass. Your eyes hinged on the game for a few seconds, the echoes of laughter shooting toward your ears. It looked fun, but you weren't too invested in being outside for that long. Before you could look away though, your eyes caught on a familiar frame.

Patrick.

His hair was tied back, and he was wearing a pretty bland tank top (just grey), with some typical jeans. With his hair pulled back, you could see his jaw more distinctively -the sharp lines clear from even this far away. (Not that you were looking.) The sun bore down on them but all of the players seemed to be happily distracted. And you kinda were too.

You pursed your lips, for a moment, and looked forward again after a breath, heading toward the cafeteria again confidently.

Before you could get very far, though, you heard a familiar accent.

"Hey!" He yelled, a little distant -footsteps following his voice, "-Hey!"

At first, you weren't sure if he was talking to you, so you kept moving.

"Shit, I don't know what to call you," he called out, breathless and much, much closer.

You spun on your heels with furrowed brows, and met his eyes over a few people's heads. The grin that swallowed his face whole should've been criminal, bright and twinkly and... charming.

Before you could say anything, he was by your side with heavy breaths -assumedly from playing baseball and getting over to you. Leaning over slightly, he leveled out heavy breaths. You were almost concerned enough to offer him water, but he seemed to settle himself before you could.

"Hi," he echoed, "-'Ve been looking for you all morning, what time did you get here?"

You blinked, all morning?

"I get here early, 7, and immediately go to class," you answered, a little blankly (looking for you, looking for you, looking for you).

"Oh," he paused, "-I got here at 8. There's classes at 7?"

"Obviously," you respond, because you did in fact just say it.

"Did you-" Patrick started, before pursing his lips together, "-Are you going to the library now?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "No, I'm going to the cafeteria to eat between classes. Why?"

"I'm actually quite hungry myself," he avoided the question, "-Do you mind if I tag along?"

"What about your game?" You furrowed your eyebrows even further -eyeing him curiously.

"'S just to fill time," he explained, "-It's nothing serious. They're sure to find someone to fill in for me."

You flicker your eyes along his face, trying to read him. What's your prerogative?

After a moment, you come up with nothing and instead, just turn on your heel -leading the way to the cafeteria.

"I'm taking that as a yes, then?" Patrick called out from behind you, catching up and matching your stride with ease (despite you making no move to slow down).

You decidedly don't answer him, and say something focused elsewhere -eyeing him as you walk forward, "Do you always stalk people this much?"

Patrick laughed, catching your eye with his warm brown ones (they were almost sparkly under the sun of the day), "Only the ones that blindly hate me."

You pressed your lips together in a flat line (trying not to give anything away), "I didn't say that I hated you."

His face lit up at the words (and you couldn't decide if you regretted it or not), "Well, you could've convinced me."

You roll your eyes, and keep walking forward, "Not telling you my personal information isn't... hating you."

"I'm not sure not introducing yourself is exactly anything but hatred," he argued back, fluidly.

"I just told you that I don't hate you," you point out, "-so it isn't."

"Does that mean you'll eventually tell me your name?" Patrick asked, curiously.

You turned to him, flicked your eyes over him, and then looked forward again, "Maybe on good behavior."

He burst into laughter, brown eyes set on your face, "You're quite an enigma, you know that?"

"And you're not half the mystery you portray," you fire back, naturally, with the flow of the conversation.

He grinned at that, eyes shining with something you couldn't quite label, "You know, I don't think I've met a person like you. You're fearless in like a-" he motioned with his hands, "-casual way."

"I'm not fearless," you argue, approaching the door to the cafeteria, "-I'm just confident."

"Do they not go hand-in-hand?" Patrick offers, getting to the door before you and promptly holding it open for you -unflinchingly.

Something warm stirs in your stomach at the gesture (and his woodsy scent that brushes your nose as you walk past him), but you ignore it, "You can be certain and still be afraid."

"But knowing you're right doesn't necessarily mean-" Patrick followed you in, matching your stride again, as if it's natural, "-that you're confident."

You furrow your eyebrows, genuinely intrigued, "What do you mean?"

He paused, maybe a little shocked by your attentiveness, "Plenty of people know they're right and still concede to someone else because they don't want to fight it. You-" he pointed at you, "-will fight it."

"Well," you purse your lips, avoiding his eye contact, "-maybe I'm only like this with you."

"You," Patrick paused, "-You're not this fiery ball of rage with anyone else?"

You eye him for a second, before saying flatly, "Maybe."

"All of this seething hatred and impressive indifference just for me?" He grins, the big teeth-showing kind, "-I'm touched really. Because I am special to you in some weird kinda twisted way-"

Before you can stop yourself, you let out a laugh at his words -just a quick one. Barely there.

But you could still see the delight smooth along his face, and just knew he caught it.

"How much of that have you been holding back?" He tilted his head curiously, before continuing to push it, smirking, "-Oh I bet you think I'm hilarious."

Your heart skipped a beat at the smirk, and you simply pressed your lips together and turned on your heel to the food counter. There wasn't even a second before you heard footsteps following you.

"You're not denying it, you know," he called after you, close on your tail.

You peer over the selection of food, eyeing the different items thoughtfully, "But I didn't confirm it either."

"Still not denying it," Patrick hummed, sing-songy.

"You know," you turn to him (mindlessly noting that he is very close), sharply, "-someone can have one good joke and still be unfunny."

He leaned forward slightly, eyes set on yours -challenging, "Then tell me why it came out like you were holding it back?"

You blinked at him, once and then twice, the sudden closeness sent a shock through your brain and the challenging tone of his voice nearly gave you full-body shivers. You can't find words to say, and you can nearly see it processing on Patrick's face (the way that he had made your mind melt for a moment), so you turn to the counter and point at something random for them to pick out for you.

The woman eyes the two of you suspiciously, but still diligently pulls out a to-go plate and piles the... mashed potatoes onto it.

"Oh my god," he finally says after a moment (you ignore it).

You go through a few other items, and the woman gathers them onto the plate. You pay, grab your plate-

"You like me," Patrick retorts, and you're not even looking at him but you can tell he's got a shit-eating grin.

Your brain malfunctions for a moment, but you step toward the tables and fire back (on autopilot), "I won't even tell you my name."

He's hot on your trail, following you diligently, "You're avoiding the question."

You spin to him, and reply -sharply, "You didn't ask a question."

His eyes flicker along your face, taking you in (you want to squirm but you steel yourself in place -your eyes now challenging), and then he grins so bright that you'd need sunglasses in any other scenario.

"Oh, you're really into me," he continues, low, gravelly, accented voice rumbling through your ears.

You screw up your face into something defiant, roll your eyes, and turn back to slide into a table. Patrick follows you like a lost puppy. Well, an incredibly arrogant lost puppy.

"You're still not denying it," he slides into the chair beside you and you hate the way your brain swims at the woodsy smell that brushes your nose.

"'Thought you were hungry," you say, simply (avoiding the question and decidedly not denying).

"It was very obviously a ploy," Patrick chimed back, with natural ease -tilting his head slightly and looking at you with twinkling eyes, "-They had pizza out there for all the players. I've already eaten."

Your fork froze for a millisecond (even still, you were sure he caught it), and after a moment, you pulled it to your lips. Maybe conquering both of your lack of response and the way your mind lit up at the idea of 'he just wanted to see me'.

His smile and eyes seemed to soften slightly, as he leaned his head down to catch your eye and guide it back up to your natural gaze (your heart skipped a beat). His brown eyes were soft and if you were honest, maybe a little affectionate.

"What's your name?" He finally said after a soft few moments.

And just like that, for you, the moment snapped, and you rolled your eyes -turning back to your food.

"Oh, come on," Patrick tried to catch your gaze again, "-Look, I'll tell you. Patrick Verona. That's my name-"

You bit down a smile, as he motioned to you with his hands.

"-Now, your turn, tell me yours."

You raised an eyebrow.

Patrick let out a half-laugh, before leaning forward slightly on the table -not quite a breath away, but certainly closer.

"You're so stubborn," he laughed, "-I'll beg. You want me to beg?"

You can't help but let the smile slip onto your lips then, "Why would you beg for my name?"

"Because I want it," he pointed out, still grinning "-Because I want to know you, and personally, I think it should start with a name."

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you let your fork hang there on the path to your face. You took a moment, scampered your eyes along his face (dark brown eyes so incredibly soft, curls coming down from where he put them up in individual tendrils). Your resolve was weakening, it was really and truly broken under Patrick Verona's hand.

Stupid pretty boys-

"Y/N," you said finally (quieter than intended), immediately pulling a bite to your mouth.

Patrick blinked, "What?"

"'S my name," you explain -shortly, moving a hand in front of your mouth as you chew, "-Y/N."

His eyes lit up at the words, that stupid charming grin smoothing onto his face as he repeated, softer than expected, "Y/N."

You shove down the fluster that begs to climb up your cheeks at his accented voice saying your name. It's something you'd never really thought about but now that it's said, you probably should've thought about it.

Patrick leaned back in his chair, eyes still set on you. He was still grinning, as he said simply, "Suits you."

You furrow your eyebrows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He raises his hands in faux surrender, laughing to himself, "Jesus, you're a true ball of rage, you know 'at?"

"I'm not-" you huff out, and take a deep breath in, "-I'm not mad."

"Defensive then," he mends, "-You act as though I'm about to strike any minute."

You pursed your lips, "Whose to say you aren't?"

"Me," Patrick laughs, "-This entire conversation. The way I've acted around you since the beginning-"

"Oh, shut up," you roll your eyes, unable to stop the smile creeping onto your lips, "-you were an asshole once."

He groaned, but something like amusement was twinkling in his eyes, "You are the most stubborn human being on this earth-"

"You took my spot," you interrupt, sturdy.

"-It's public property," Patrick argued back, "-and how was I supposed to know it was yours before I sat in it?"

You paused, for a moment, before saying, "You couldn't. But, you could have given it to me when I asked."

"And then we wouldn't be here," he explained, now fully grinning, "-and wouldn't that just be such a bore."

Your eyes swam over his face a moment, Patrick Verona. And his dumb persistence. And his stupid handsome face-

God.

You let out a long sigh, picking around at your food. Eyes watching the swirl of your fork, you debate a few different things to say. Finally, after a few spare seconds, you made up your mind.

"Yeah," you hum, flickering your eyes up to his, "-it would."

Patrick grinned, big and bright and twinkly (you felt your heart skip a beat in your chest). His eyes, the deep brown that if you weren't careful you could stare at for way too long, were soft but still sort of happy, eager. Definitely eager.

And maybe, just maybe, you could get used to-

"I told you I could work on the 'stranger' thing," he suddenly said, smirking, "-You never should've doubted me."

"What?" You raised an eyebrow, confused.

"You said-" Patrick explained, "-you don't give your name out to strangers. And I said I could work on that part-"

You level a look at him.

"-And look, I did," he continued, before adding with a smirk, "-I have successfully escaped the cavernous barrier, deeper than the ocean I'd say, that walls you off from any poor soul who wishes to know you-"

"You're really pushing it, Verona," you chime back, fiery (but not quite all the way).

"What?" He raised his eyebrows, like he said nothing at all to warrant the reaction, "-You can't tell me that it's not like pulling teeth getting to know you. Or trying to anyway-"

You press your lips onto a flat line, "Wow, you must be a sort of masochist, then?

He faltered for a second, before laughing a little, "Oh absolutely, I chase the high of you ignoring me for 2 hours straight every day."

You rolled your eyes, biting down a smile, "I despise you."

"Better that than indifferent," he responded with ease, "-I prefer you feeling something rather than nothing at all."

"Oh my god-"

It continued like that, a back and forth, as you finish eating your mediocre cafeteria lunch. The silence is sparse but not uncomfortable when Patrick isn't running his mouth, that is. It was nice. Insanely nice. You'd probably never had as much fun on this campus as you did with him, just in general, but...

"Same time Wednesday?" He poses with a cheeky grin, leaning onto one hand against the table -closer to you than before.

You felt something warm swirl into your stomach, as your eyes flickered over his face. He was still smiling, like he wasn't able to stop when he was here with you. And something in you never wanted to see it go away anyway.

So, with a slight head tilt and a brighter grin than what you'd let slip past all day, you repeated.

"Same time Wednesday."

[silverware-is-interesting]

got some sketches of the band au

Note: these are not final, design's are likely going to change when i eventually clean them up. they all technically have 2 outfits (onstage n offstage) these are just the onstage fits

idk what to make the tag for this au tbh "kinitopet band au" seems kinda boring... ANYWAYS! Have a terrible overview of the concept so far. n the band members too ig

Meet the KinitoBAND (placeholder name while i think, i'm open to suggestions though). They're a rather niche yet beloved band who play a multitude of different genres. all of their songs have a rather upbeat nature, or, they used to. lately they've been leaning more into rock and sometimes it just gets a little... strange... wonder why that is? they're actually more like vocaloids(???) that are programmed like Kinito with the react response algorithm (Kinito's i more advanced, but they've all got it) so if they ever did interact it'd be alright. the programmer (Sonny C) had initially only meant for there to be a vocalist but there was a decision somewhere to make a band (so there's a drummer and a guitarist too)

Let's get into the characters

Kinito The vocalist + tech Kinito is a fan-favourite, to be expected of the one who is always in view front 'n center. personality-wise he's similar to his canon counterpart, just a bit (emphasis on bit) more chill. i've imagined him to get a little... parasocial with his fans who probably just went for the music. he has a bit of a persona on stage, you could say. he's more energetic and in general might be a little more aggressive than usual, especially lately.

Sam The drummer Sam isn't quite as popular as Kinito, but he's got quite a few fans who might not gravitate towards Kinito like almost all the promotional material wants you to or people who like the drums. personality - Sam has a calm, almost 'cool guy' demeanor. he acts relitivley the same on and off stage. Jade the guitarist Jade, unfortunately, is the least popular member of the band. She's got a couple devoted fans, but noticeably less than the others. just as intended. personality- she's quite resourceful and the most upfront about things of the band. she's generally louder than the others, not on purpose, she's just not the best at maintain a good speaking volume.

[esse-lunam]

an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!

please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.

reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee

ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!

for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3

-

so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?

full name: marley jo veitch

nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)

pronouns: they/she

DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)

occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time

skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse

appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely

body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.

"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!

-

relationships and such! with photos!

s/o: robert sean leonard

"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!

best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson

"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!

-

my career! (oh good lord)

writing based - undedicated musings

(1986-1993)

alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3

film based - dead poet's society

(1988-1989)

so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.

also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!

music based - MAURZI

(1988-2004 technically)

strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda

- MAURZI (1989)

- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)

- Charmed (1992)

- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)

- Waterworks (1998)

- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.

now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.

MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.

GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.

Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.

I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.

Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!

and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!

writing based - novels

can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.

writing based - autobiographies

two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3

film based - doctor who

(1994-1999)*

*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.

big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.

so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.

film based - house md

(2005 - 2010)

marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3

film based - moonzi

(2016)

YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!

comedy based - dying art

(2020)

idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.

film based - radio free marley

(whenever)

i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like

ep 1: about me, point in my life

ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1

ep 3: about me, point in my life

ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3

ep 5: you get the idea

and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.

and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.

- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific

- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points

- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!

- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!

- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!

- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same

- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it

- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob

- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that

- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!

- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho

- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA

- thats all i got

sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

[karamell-sweetz]

welcome to my blog!

pls drop a like once you’ve read this post! | last updated 16 december 2024

BASICS

my name is karamell! its a pleasure to meet ya :D

i go by she/her and am cis female :3 not too fussed abt pronouns tho!

at present i am 17, my birthday is the 16th of june. i’m australian + filipino, so sorry if i post something at an ungodly hour for your timezone lmao

this blog will be for my fandom reblogs, art and countless ramblings! i have a separate account dedicated to undertale multiverse content -> @karamellz-multiverse-l0g (i don’t post there a lot because undertale is on the backburner for now!) i’m currently aiming to get into an animation course for university, so all my art is working towards that :3

i am also self-appointed chairwoman of the rui kamishiro fanclub! not that that’s too important… but i like saying it lol

BYF

i don’t tag my reblogs/queue usually so uhh good luck poring through that >< all of my original posts are tagged for convenience though, you can find my tags in the search bar :3

in relation to that i’m VERY multifandom so srry if you get bombarded with stuff that doesn’t relate to you haha! but hopefully you’ll like the stuff i rb too, i’m a firm believer in the power of brainrot spreading and most of my fandoms are from the same niche anyway!

i dont have a dni because realistically i cant rlly control who sees my stuff, but if you or the stuff you post make me uncomfortable i’ll just block you. no hard feelings <3

FANDOMS + FAV LIST

project sekai - rui kamishiro, tsukasa tenma, wxs, n25, okay actually its everyone i love proseka soo much

vocaloid - miku, una + deco*27, n-buna, kikuo, pinocchio-p, inabakumori, picco, harumakigohan, maiki-p

d4dj - unichørd, hapiara, lyrilily

bandori - pasupa, morfonica, hhw, ras

enstars - trickstar, alkakurei

love live - rina tennoji, shioriko mifune, hanamaru kunikida, ruby kurosawa, you watanabe, ayumu uehara

fragaria memories - romarriche

milgram - amane, yuno, mahiru

undertale (utmv) - xtale, ink, murder time trio

danganronpa - shuichi saihara, kaede akamatsu, k1-b0

twisted wonderland - heartslabyul (deleted the game because UGH the grind)

denonbu - harajuku district

revue starlight - lalafin, karen, aruru (i love all of them tho)

cookie run kingdom - had a very minor fling with this one so you won’t see it a lot

genshin impact - also minor fling, have not played past liyue. solely here for the banger character designs

mcyt (idk if i’ll reblog anything from here but i know a little bit of the dsmp lore and am attempting to understand life series??)

other things you may see: lalaloopsy + other doll lines from that era, mlp, warrior cats, cute art i think is nice, lunime gacha games (i was very much a ‘gacha kid’ back in its prime), puyo puyo, writing stuff, THE COLOUR PINK, webcore, memes, cool crafts, yorushika, other teenage girl things idk

TAGS

karamell yells - ramblings and random stuff, may include headcanons and analysis

karamell doodles - my art! mostly fanart at the moment

karamell’s wips - works in progress (stuff i’ll never finish probably)

karamell’s pocket - posts i want to come back to

karamell gaming - random game screenshots

karamell rolls the gacha - my gacha pulls of varying luck

karamell’s mailbox - asks, submissions, tag games, all that fun stuff

karamell’s rq pile - drawing requests (which are always open btw, feel free to send some in if you’d like!)

karamell stop missing the blonde clown - thirsty? brainrot posts about tsukasa tenma because boy do i love him

karamell’s confections - various big projects (videos, edits, etc). all the cool stuff i make that isn’t normal art basically

karamell’s burning pile of ocs - see image below:

(utmv submissions for this will be posted on my sideblog)

UPDATE: the number is now 350 instead of 244!

when in doubt. rui scribble - various random scribbles of rui kamishiro because i like drawing him

karamell asks a question - mostly polls and stuff i need help with

say hi to my sideblog guys - self rbs from my utmv sideblog @/karamellz-multiverse-l0g. just for a little bump! :)

ALLIURA - general oc posting, inc. OCtobers, oc challenges, animatics, doodles etc. i might make a sideblog for this later when i have more time to work on it

TAGS FOR MINI-SERIES

karamell’s project precure au - project sekai x precure (updates never)

wxs revue au - project sekai x revue starlight (updates randomly)

karamell’s birthday treat cafe - food-themed fandom birthday drawings (on break for a bit)

kamikou seniors trio - tsukasa ena rui posts because i want them to hang out

the mizuruiena agenda continues - mizuki rui ena hanging out

rui dress agenda - rui in dresses what did you expect

rui fanclub sekai - read my blog description. just silly things about a hypothetical rui fanclub

FIND ME! (links are underlined!)

NEW! instagram - _karamella.cake

youtube - karamell-sweetz!

tiktok - karamell.sweetz

pinterest - karamellxsweetz

art fight - karamellxsweetz

ao3 - mirai_spxrk

FRIEND ID (GLOBAL SERVERS ONLY)

bandori - 4636316 (karamellxshowtime!) (i might be out of friend space tho)

d4dj - ffzoJpPf (mirai.chørd)

project sekai - 168505012555628545 (karamell?!)

enstars - 7709727947 (karamelloid)

that should be all. enjoy your stay on my silly little corner of the internet!! 🫶

[mid0khan]

I got tagged by @the-apocrypha in the last line game, so I'll share a little bit of the (really big) Sandman fic I'm working on (like seriously I went from 'only writes one shots' to 'start a 100-chapters-long project' with no transition and I don't know what I'm doing I can only pray it's good)

Anyway, enjoy

Hob stood across the street from the bookshop.

When Abel had told him there was an angel in London, and one with a passion for books and a knack for magic, he had hardly believed his luck. If the revelation hadn’t been immediately followed by Cain stabbing a butter knife in his brother’s head (“How dare you ruin a perfectly good mystery you miserable maggot!”), Hob would have hugged him. Cain had assured him such a “benign” wound would heal pretty quickly, and he had even proposed to burry Abel near the surface, so he would rise up more easily, but Hob had awoken before he had a chance to thank his unlucky informant.

Finding the bookshop had been easy enough, but Hob was now facing an unexpected difficulty.

The ghost car, the one he had seen driving itself and that had caused him to avoid Soho for years now, was parked right in front of the shop.

He had feared he would see it; he was in the middle of its territory after all. But he had never thought the thing would be waiting for him there.

Hob had been standing there, staring at his newfound adversary for at least half an hour. The thing hadn’t moved at all. It was waiting for its time to strike, no doubt. Hob had no choice but to try and get around the car to reach the shop’s door, and pray that the car wouldn’t have a sudden crave for blood.

He warily crossed the road, keeping his distance with the ghost car as much as he could. It didn’t move. He hugged the wall, slowly approaching the door while never taking his eyes off the beast. From up close, he could see what a beautiful car it was. He hadn’t seen this kind of Bentley in ages, and this one looked brand new! He would have been in awe if he hadn’t been so suspicious of the thing. He finally reached the door, all but fleeing away from the car with a sigh of relief.

When his eyes got used to the relative darkness of the shop, Hob gasped.

Books everywhere. Books on shelves so full they looked like they were going to crumble. Books in piles on the floor. Books on the stairs, because there was a mezzanine filled with books too. New books, old books, children’s tales next to things that really should not be read by children, big classics and very niche authors… It was untidy. It was crumpled.

It was lovely.

“Go away,” a voice slurred to Hob’s left, making him jump. “We probably don’t have what you’re looking for, and if we did, we wouldn’t sell it to you anyway.”

Hob had been so focused on the books, he hadn’t noticed the little reading space next to him. Slumped in a very old armchair, a red-headed man was staring at him, slightly menacing. He looed very out of place in the bookshop, with his old-rocker style and his sunglasses, but somehow, he also seemed to perfectly belong there.

“Weird way to handle a bookshop,” Hob mused, and the redhead hissed at him. “But I’m not here to buy anything, actually I have a book to show to M. Fell?”

The redhead raised an eyebrow, curious, all trace of aggressivity leaving his body.

“Oh! Well in that case, welcome. Aziraphale is out for now, but he should be back soon. You can wait for him here, take a sit.” With a lazy raise of his arm, he pointed to a chair, and after carefully putting the pile of books covering it away, Hob sat, trying not to stare too much.

He was sure he had already seen the man somewhere.

The thing with being immortal was that he had seen a lot of people. It wasn’t always easy to remember which face belonged to which name, or where and when he had met someone. But there were situations that were harder to forget than others.

He had frequented a few circles that were… not very legal, in the 60’s. He had missed the thrill that came with doing something forbidden, that he had grown up with as a mercenary, and he had been quite good at picking locks. He had made sure never to kill anybody (his life and the last century both had had enough death already, thank you very much), but still, it had not been as fun as it had once been. He had felt like a fraud, stealing alongside people who struggled to make ends meet when he himself had been richer than any of their victims.

But there had been a weird job, not long before he had left his group. Someone had offered thousands to simply walk in a church and steal holly water. Of course the client has made it look like a big coup, but Hob had not been fooled. He had refused the job. He didn’t want to risk getting dragged in some demon summoning or whatever.

The redhead was the spitting image of the client.

Maybe it was just a man looking a lot like his father. Or maybe it was the same person. A fellow immortal? Another angel? Something else?

Maybe he could help too?

“Could you take a look at the book, too?” Hob asked, making the redhead frown. “I really need advices on how to use it.”

“How to use a book? Well, usually, you’re supposed to read it.”

“This one is a bit special; besides, I can’t read it.”

Hob took the grimoire out of his Marlowe was better tote bag, and the redhead tensed

“Nope! Absolutely not.”

“Could you help me-”

“No.” The redhead stood and grabbed Hob, forcing him toward the door. “I’m not helping you with that, Aziraphale is not helping you with that, you get out and you never come back.” He pushed Hob out of the shop and slammed the door shut behind him.

Hob stood there, dumbfounded. Welp, that didn’t go as planned. What was he supposed to do now? Could he convince the redhead to let him back inside? Was there maybe another book-specialist angel in London?

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a squeal. He realized he was still in front of the bookshop’s door, and a white-haired man was standing in front of him, a look of bewilderment on his face, his hands flapping in front of him in excitement. The man pointed to the grimoire still in Hob’s hands with a shaking finger.

“Oh my, is it really… No, it can’t be, but it looks just like… Where did you… Come in!” The man grabbed Hob’s arm and dragged him back in the bookshop, while almost screaming. “Crowley? Crowley dear, you won’t believe what I just found!”

I am supposed to tag people there too, which makes me a bit nervous, so I'll tag @cuubism, @kydrogendragon and @mimisempai if you want to play, and if you don't, forget I ever tagged you

[shiroselia]

Guess who completely missed I've been posting on Ao3 for over a year now, so to celebrate that almost two weeks later, behold! Self-promo!

I know, I know, but I suppose since I've been going for a year(???) now I might as well give a little Summary on what the hell I've been doing over on the Ao3, and also have a bit of fun with it in the process.

So, who the hell am I? I'm Manda Shiroselia EquestrianEquivalent, and apparently I'm an Ao3 publisher now. Sentence I never thought I'd say, but here we are!

What do I write? Well, primarily I write for Fire Emblem, Honkai Star Rail, and Star Stable Online. More precisely, I'm a character dynamics connossieur, which means I'm mostly writing character interaction and/or ship-focused fics because that's what I find the most fun! I generally average about 3-5k on my oneshots, but there are shorter (and longer) ones, so if length is something you're particularly picky about, you'll have variety in there, promise.

My personal favourite choices of the Fire Emblem variety are, coincidentally, my two most recent Fire Emblem fics! Soft Pegasus Feathers, and Dream of Me.

Good stuff, fun times, huge self-reccs of mine.

In terms of HSR, well, I've written. a lot of those, but I'm particularly, well, well-known might be a stretch, but those of you who subscribe to JingFu might recognize me for my most popular fic, Better Luck Next Time, or for my newest piece of insanity, KONTORSRENOVERING.

Better Luck Next Time is probably the best introduction to my writing style you will ever find, especially since it's kind of responsible for me finding my style, and it's also incredibly funny, if I do say so myself.

KONTORSRENOVERING is a great introduction to my particular niche, which I like to describe as "It could've been a fanart, but I'm glad it's a fic." If you read it you'll know exactly what i mean by that! Both of them are fics I hold very near and dear, so obviously I recommend each of them in particular.

And as for what I write for SSO? Well. I don't know if you have ever sorted that tag by word count, but if you have, you might have come across a certain little fic called A Quintessential Jorvegian Summer Vacation.

Which is, well, a lot of things. It's the entire reason I started publishing on Ao3 to begin with, my life's work pretty much, arguably my magnum opus really, and the entire reason my friends both discovered and has since never let me live down how fucking nuts I am.

It is the most taxing out of all my works, since, you know, check that chapter count:word count and you'll understand. I'm currently in the middle of reposting the last 4 chapters, because yes I've rewritten every single one of the first 24 chapters and counting, and once that is done, I'm going to rewrite the entire fic. Which is really just a first draft into a second draft, but considering how much I've changed as a writer throughout the 10 months I wrote this behemoth of a fic (first draft clocked in at 280k words so you can imagine how much effort this fucker took), it needs some maintainance.

With that being said, even if you don't know what the fuck a Star Stable Online is, I genuinely suggest you check this out anyways, because I legitimately think it works really well as just a standalone horse adventure magic fantasy. And a tragedy. Apparently. Supposedly. According to my friends who know too much about this fic.

It's going to take a fuck ass while to publish this entire thing, and I talk about it all the time on this blog, but there is so much love put into this fic, and I'm not abandoning it ever, it will be published, mark my word.

So that's essentially a "quick" summary of what the fuck I'm doing over there at the Ao3s. This mentioned like half of the roster, so there are a few more things over there if you're curious. And there's more to come, like a lot more to come.

For example, I'm currently working on two longer HSR fics, one starring Himeko and Pom-Pom, and the other starring Jiaoqiu featuring Bailu and Lingsha. I've also gotten way too into Zenless Zone Zero, and I'm definitely going to write a few fics for that, so far every one of them featuring Nicole. Other than that I have a lot of silly Fire Emblem ideas lying about (most of them related to Awakening, which means more Chromia in particular), and I'm no stranger to just throwing out a fic for the hell of it, so you might even be surprised!

And with that, Manda out, and happy late Ao3 anniversary to me <3

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriNo: Why Are You Doing This?

And do you really want to?

So it’s February.

The time when all those plans and goals made in a burst of rosy optimism have met the cold realities of daily life.

If you’ve found your groove, and are making progress on your writing, I congratulate you!

But for many people the beautiful goals set in late December have become a tiresome burden by early February.

So it’s time to take stock.

And seriously ask yourself— Why are you doing this anyway?

Reality check. Writing a novel might be something you’ve dreamed of doing for many years. It might be on your bucket list. It might have some golden sheen of self fulfillment, or feel like the creation of a personal legacy.

But if the reality of daily (or frequent) writing is proving to be unpleasant, you might be second guessing all of that. Or the mundanity of actually writing it has you dodging your writing sessions more often than not.

What to do?

Firstly I have to say that you are allowed to quit. And if you really aren’t enjoying the daily (or near daily) process of showing up and putting words on a page, then there’s no reason to force yourself to continue.

Many, many people live happy and fulfilling lives without ever writing a novel. And you might be one of them. If that’s the case, you will be much happier if you’re honest with yourself about putting aside this dream, instead of castigating yourself for your continued failure.

It might feel really scary to let of of the idea.

But you’re allowed to do that. I give you permission. Try viewing it as simply making room to move forward with other hobbies or goals.

There’s no moral superiority of a novel over other forms of writing, like short or flash fiction, poetry, fanfic, or writing your own rpg. If there’s a niche of writing that you truly enjoy, allow yourself to do that and let go of all the ‘should be’.

Taking things further, there’s no moral value attached to writing that makes it superior to any other hobbies either. (And if me using the word hobby here gives you some sort of flinch then that’s something to think about too.) If you quit writing to focus on drawing, or knitting or building Lego kits, then that’s not only good, it’s great that you’ve found something you really enjoy. Writing will always be here to return to if you feel the inclination.

This is probably not what you expected to hear from me this morning, but more than anything I want you to enjoy the process of writing. And if you’re not? Really think about if you want to write a novel, or if you just like the idea of it. And give yourself permission to quit.

Now that all said, what happens now?

If after some contemplation you realize you do still truly want to write a novel, then it’s time to think about how to continue. Especially if you’re struggling. Or drowning.

I want to help you get a handle on what’s really going on.

Meanwhile, I’d like it if you can tell me about any particular challenges you’re facing, or obstacles that I haven’t discussed before.

But most of all, keep trying, adjusting, and trying again. It will get easier if you persist long enough.

—Maree

Subscribe to my substack to make sure you don't miss a post, chat with me on the WIP Project discord, and tag any posts you make about the challenge with #slomowrino if you want me to see them!

[polutrope]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @niennawept @melestasflight @sallysavestheday @spiritofwhitefire @grey-gazania for the tag! I've enjoyed reading all of yours.

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 89 on main, 12 on my pseud, 2 anon.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 284k on main.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Silmarillion.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Seven Trials of Fingon the Valiant (Fingon/Sons of Feanor humour)

Who Shall Release Us? (Maedhros post-reembodiment angst)

A Gift (M&M childhood fluff)

Improving Relations (Maglor & Caranthir fluff)

A Proposition (Russinglor smut)

Y'all are predictable, but I do enjoy all of these myself so. Good choices. 

5. Do you respond to comments? Always. Unless they're rude, in which case I delete them without replying.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm reading the last lines of my fics trying to find one that ends with pure angst and laughing because they're all like "... but there was hope."

Anyway, The Marks that Bind Us (Celegorm/OC) and His Hour Had Come (Saeros & OC) end on a sinister note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much everything in my Sex Is Fun series. People have sex, it's fun, the end :).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate, but I've had a couple people be rude, like commenting on a word choice they didn't like and nothing else. *Delete*.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Shamelessly. Prolifically. Joyfully. I co-mod @silmsmutweek with the marvellously shameless @ettelene. I'd say my niche is fun sex... hot elves + open communication + laughter. I've written dark stuff too though.

As with most in this fandom, my smut is mostly M/M but I'm proud of the amount of F/M smut I've written. Which is a weird thing to be proud of, if this weren't Silm fandom.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No. Keep thinking about doing something with Silm + Greek myth but it's amorphous.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! The Seven Trials of Fingon the Valiant with @melestasflight and currently co-writing with the same. I love it.

Besides that, almost everything I've ever posted is some level of collaborative, whether it be with some big-brained anonymous prompter on silmkinkmeme or by shoving a mess of words at a friend and crying, "Help!" etc etc. I cannot and do not create in a vacuum, at all.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Maglor/Most Anyone.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? If I want to finish it, I probably will. There are a lot of things I don't want to finish, and I won't.

16. What are your writing strengths? Language and characterisation. Editing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I was going to say "Perfectionism", then started questioning if that made me sound like an asshole, and whether people would get what I meant by that, and so then I started making a whole list of things I don't think I am good at, and have so far spent about 10 minutes on this question, and ... you see the irony here?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don't know, I wouldn't do it (unless my universal disclaimer -- "Except if it's funny." -- applies.)

19. First fandom you wrote for? Silmarillion, in 2003. There was then a 17 year break. I have no other fandoms and need no other fandoms.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Refuse to answer.

I have a feeling a lot of people have done this over the last week while I have been buried in work but @ettelene @tethysresort @millenariumhappinesstheorem @a-tehta @gwaedhannen @zealouswerewolfcollector I don't think I saw one from you so please feel welcome to share these, if you like.

[pokemon-card-of-the-day]

Pokemon Card of the Day #3116: Charizard (Team Up)

Every few sets, there would be another attempt to make a useful Charizard. This one could basically guarantee a solid attack with its Ability, which accelerated to itself from the deck. Being a Stage 2 at a time where Basic Pokemon were emerging as big threats was always a problem, but they certainly put a lot of work into giving Charizard a chance to overcome that here. Not too many Pokemon would get that to work, especially when not a Pokemon-GX, making this still an uphill climb.

150 HP was pretty standard for a Stage 2. It was within the range of most of the Tag Team Pokemon, and weaker things could sometimes take advantage of that Ability doing damage to Charizard. Water wasn't the worst Weakness to have, with Keldeo-GX being notable but the type being otherwise rather weak. The Retreat Cost was 2, but this was rarely notable since Charizard would probably want to just attack again if it could.

Roaring Resolve was a really good Ability. Once during your turn, you could put 2 damage counters on Charizard. You then searched for up to 2 Fire Energy cards to attach to it, which guaranteed at least a solid attack on a given turn. It was possible to get Charizard into range for some attacks due to this, but it was still generally worth the free Energy as the damage output was going to outshine the downside.

Continuous Blaze Ball needed 2 Fire Energy. While the base damage was technically just 30, you would always do more with it. All Fire Energy had to be discarded from Charizard to use it, and 50 more damage was done for each card discarded in that way. This really made the minimum 130, which Roaring Resolve could easily cover for the cost, making for a pretty reasonable attacker. If you couldn't manually attach here, however, you did need a Choice Band to actually KO a Tag Team in 2 hits, and if you could you might want to use it anyway if in SUM-On where Zoroark-GX was still relevant.

Charizard was a decent choice for an attacker since it could actually provide itself with Energy. Being able to make sure that a solid chunk of damage was done was something a lot of other Pokemon wouldn't be able to do. It was still a Stage 2, however, and Blacephalon could vary damage more freely while Fire as a type had so much support that you'd probably just go for that instead. Charizard did still have a niche here, though, as on top of the guarantee was the chance at the Ability + Welder + manual attachment to even take out a Tag Team. This Charizard was, at least, usable, and while Charizard cards would eventually get much better than this in the future, it was a sign that one of the most popular Pokemon would finally be on its way to having good cards more often.

[birb-tangleblog]

Seeing the occasional post in the tag talking abt how cliquey the fandom is and wondering why it's that way always kinda baffles me.

I think a lot of the perceived separation in the fandom and everyone figuratively eating at their own lunch tables is actually pretty natural; the show's been over for a good while now, so there's no new content to bring people together. Fans are mostly only interested in their favs, and a lack of crossover isn't too surprising or bad on its own. 7 K will probably never be my cup of tea, and I wouldn't expect someone big into Cass and Raps as siblings to consume content of them as romantic partners.

But I do think the 'tone' and climate that contributes to cliqueyness is often set by the more popular/active blogs in a fandom. ND fans wondring why Cass fans (and especially Cassn//zel shippers) feel ostracized seems rather obvious to me when the more vocal ND blogs/fans I see in the tag can't even engage with the idea of Cass existing, deride her as a creator's pet/waifu/"OC" [derogatory], and constantly treat her and Eugene's roles in the plot as a zero sum game, with her "stealing" moments from the movie or upstaging him as something Cass-the-character is personally responsible for.

I know there are definitely some bad takes out there from the hardcore Cassn//zel crowd too, and the 'Eugene cut her hair too short/he's too old for her' is kind of a meme to me at this point. I think there's also a lot of similar stuff to be said abt Var fans' attitudes towards Raps/Cass and the diff discourse topics with him- fans projecting and taking the narrative personally, etc.- but that's a diff post.

Anyway, not sure where I'm going w/ this. Having a lot of little niches isn't bad? 'The fandom' as a whole should be more self-aware? Performative neutrality is kind of unconvincing/tacky and you can't please everyone anyway? Some polarization is to be expected, esp as a fandom shrinks over time and the different servers and groups of fans become more insular and boil down/concentrate.

It's always good to be mindful of the atmosphere you create and how welcoming your spaces are to fans w/ different interests, but that's also not a requirement and sometimes different fans just won't gel or enjoy each other, even if they're all v cool people.

[coyote-nebula]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag, @cuephrase and @wildsofmarch!

Also, thank you @motleyfam for locating the lost question lol

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

29

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

182,782

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Just Batman now

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Spike (3,470 words) - the kudos leader by far. I gave Tim roofie trauma, invoked by being stealth drugged at home. Kind of a spite fic categorically, but I think I'd prefer awareness as an intention over spite 😂 this author's life has been a bit weird Tim in a Bottle (38,683 words) - Tim, trapped in an industrial freezer with Jason, is attacked by memories in the text equivalent of a bottle episode. I know it combines two tricky qualities-- extensive conversation in one room and flashbacks-- but it seems to work alright anyway lol Tap Out (8,002 words) - Jason and family attend a gallery event for Damian, and Jason reflects on trusting Bruce. Now that I think about it, this is quite a lot like both Spike and Tim in a Bottle 😂 Except Tim (2,772 words) - Tim gets lost in the woods with his abandonment issues for company. Featuring both Bambi and Lady and the Tramp references Harvest (30,129 words) - Bruce and Jason harvest some corn and engage in hallmark movie emotion-having. I like the punchability to huggability ratio Bruce has is this

5. do you respond to comments?

Yep! Sometimes, lol. I'd love to answer all of them, but I don't have the spoons. I still reread and kick my feet over them though

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm... Pretty much all my fics have some kind of comfort ending. I'm gonna go with a friend, though he may wander far, because of the guilt and injury it ends on.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, they all strive for a relatively happy ending... so I'll say sweetgum, which is pretty angst-free to begin with.

8. do you get hate on fics?

Every once in a while, but nothing memorable. Mostly they're some kind of out of nowhere complaint about deviation from canon, at which I tap the 'alternate universe' sign and delete

9. do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't. Not my thing!

10. do you write crossovers?

I haven't... if I did it would probably be pretty niche lol

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. There is a pretty cool fic inspired by TiaB written in Polish, though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not too long ago! Me and @batbirdies wrote Tip for a Successful Interview: Lie (Down) :)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Platonic: whatever I'm currently writing, usually 😂Tim & Jason, right now Romantic: This isn't my thing as much, but I do get a lot of amusement out of an ace batcat ship concept

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I stubbornly hold out hope for the completion of all my WIPs. That said, probably the Jason & Tim horror one lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Weaving in flashbacks has gotten good feedback. In general, I think I'm pretty good at being concise (at least, I find editing off words a lot of fun)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being a little too concise or obscure, sometimes 😂 losing clarity. Overcomplicating things until I either have an unwieldy WIP on my hands or have sacrificed my motivation for solving all the mysteries before I write the fic

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've played with it a little. I think <using brackets> so the translation is in-text works best for me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Trek: The Original Series, unless you count the thinly veiled MASH fan comic I messed around with

20. Favourite fic you've written?

make me a cradle (1,811 words) - wrote this in a semi-fugue state and I'm uncommonly satisfied with it-- Alfred's voice has a neat quality, it's sufficiently punchy, and it does exactly what I wanted it to do. It even manages a comforty ending! Ironically, it's my lowest ranking fic by kudos 😂 probably owing to the sensitive subject (attempted suicide) and being marked incomplete (with another sensitive subject, grief over Jason's death, promised). (Now that I think about it, I think I might have stealth released this also lol) Seriously considering marking it complete, though, since it stands well on its own. The mentioned follow up might happen someday, but the mood to write incredibly sad fic doesn't happen very often!

I will tag @batbirdies and whoever else would like to claim I tagged them 😂

[thaliatimsh]

hiiii can i get 5, 10, 11, 16, 17, 19, 25 for the fic writer asks :>

HOHOHOOHO thamk you for asking sorry it took me a hot minute to get back on my laptop:

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

LOL i love how everyone has asked me this do i come off as so bitter? i sure do lol. anyway another peeve of mine is really naff ~foriegn language~ bits esp. as like. rubbish sexy talk. people making a character go oooh ma petite chou-fleur in the heat of the moment shfgdjshds fuck off

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

this is a tough one! when i go hunting for fics i normally start w my Fave Character Tags (... treavor pendleton, george hodgson ao3 pages saved to my phone bookmarks smhhhh). probably dishonored fic is my fave to read actually? bc people do so much fun stuff with The World :^)

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

normally they come from a spoken line in the text of the fic! or sometimes a bit of description... or something from the canon. like the working title for a different kind of man was "stained glass". the fics in the takes two to quarrel series were all named for lines in the fics, except for imperfect life which i lifted directly from canon text (and the series was named for a line in imperfect life)

nlwib's name comes from that one line of wallace's in game thats like - "I must prepare the mourning garments. His lordship has never looked well in black.". i often think that if i was gonna do a cleanup re-write i would just call it in black, but i did start posting it nearly eleven years ago and my Style has evolved since then lol

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

HFJSDKFHKS SEE MYSTERY MAN PART 2 in which I accidentally uncovered the history of one of the rl officers of the franklin expedition and have since seen real life Scholars talk abt things that were literally lost to history until i connected a bunch of dots on accident while trying to find out what early 19thc. eton was like. for a fanned fiction. me @ franklin scholars: get on my level wankers lol

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

TOO OBSESSIVELY and it never ends well. i am trying to hold back on this bc. drac your fics are too niche your majesty they'll kill your self-esteem your majesty. never 4 get that the only comment i got on nlwib chapter 15 was "shame it wasnt gay" :/

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

i don't really Edit edit? things come and go as i write, then i'll get a version i like and probably give it a once-over in the ao3 preview to look for typos.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

i don't really listen to music while i'm writing bc i get too distracted! either by lyrics or A Good Bit in instrumental music lol. but sometimes I'll play a single song on repeat through the entire thing like a deranged animal. i think the last nlwib chapter was written to Paris 1919 by John Cale on repeat for abt 40 hours lmao

this is the questions btw

[ominous-feychild]

✦ Writerly Questionnaire ✦

Thank you so much for tagging me, @the-golden-comet!! This looks fun, and a lot of these are questions I love answering and wanted to share here eventually, anyway! 😊

About Me

When did you first start writing?

It depends on how you define that, and then what you consider "writing", haha. 😅😭 I started this one garbage self-insert fic when I was 8, but didn't get far into it, haha. Then I wrote at least 100 pages of a horrible novel in a notebook at age 11. I consider the time I "officially" started writing to be when I started consistently doing so in 2014... when I started roleplaying on Google+. Before long, I'd formed my own stories from ideas I'd come up with in those rps and eventually settled on working on writing with a single writing partner for 5 years. We have since parted ways as of almost 3 years now.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

Yes and no? Here's the thing: I absolutely adore my niche genre of "high fantasy and Used To Magic So Barely Questions It, but placed in a world that resembles modern besides a variable lack of technology. Oh, and we focus more on the characters than anything else!" But, uh... at least as far as I've found, that really isn't common. Especially not stories that also play faeries for horror, which is one of my favorite things, haha. I'm very firm and comfy in my writing genre. I've dipped elsewhere, but they're a lot harder for me to write and nowhere near as fulfilling, haha. However! I do love reading other genres, too! I love superhero and superhero-esque stories, I like a good amount of those "video game stuff popped up in real life" things, and yeah! Lots more. So it's less of a thing of "not liking the genre I write" or even "not being able to find it" and more of a "I like writing something very specific, but still enjoy other stuff". 😊

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Ohhh this is kinda a difficult question? Nobody's ever told me specifically whether or not I resemble any other writers, and I only want to "emulate" other writers very loosely? I compare my worldbuilding to Tolkein's because I've been working on it for almost 6 years, have steadily been building out individual cultures and half-creating languages, have literally done weeks' worth of research on Earth Sciences to be able to build out a planet that Works... and then half threw it all out when I came up with the Faewildes and realized I can bullshit it. 😂😅😭 (Note: I still do not fully bullshit it though. Just don't stress as much as I used to.)

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Confession: I've moved around way too much and been way too poor to have any "solid" writing space that I'd like. I used to like going to cafes, getting some tea, and sitting by a window I could stare outside (and dissociate to) while hallucinating scenes before writing them. But for a long while, I've been too poor to be able to do that. It's actually probably one of the reasons I've struggled a lot to write recently now that I think about it... but oh, well. Since then, I tend to prop myself up in my bed with my stuffed animals and squishmallows forming a throne of sorts as I write. (Helps prevent back/neck pain, or at least push its onset back.)

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Editing my old writing and listening to The Story's Music! It helps me get back into the headspace of the relevant character(s) and it brings my mind back into the "prose writing" state. (Clarification: 99% of the music I listen to is associated with an entire story, one of my characters, a specific scene, or some combination of the above. It's both fun and one of my oldest ways of tricking my AuDHD brain into writing!)

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Ha... the trauma sure did!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Trauma, discrimination, and poverty. No, they do not surprise me, because they've all been a huge part of my life. SaS is a rare exception because (as I was initially creating it for a writing contest) I specifically created it to be very mainstream... but also mixed in a lot of my personal interests to get me through it. However, I think those themes (minus poverty in the MCs) still shine through, they're just a lot more subtle.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Technically, dare I say, a LOT of my characters are "among my favorite characters". However, as I've gone on record saying, it's probably Gene, one of the MCs of the Arcane Rifts, haha. However! Since I already have an Ask in my inbox about him (I'll get to those eventually, I swear 🙏) I'll go elsewhere! I think among my top favorite characters would probably be Carmin, Basil, Caron, Xao (pronounced "How", and yes he never hears the end of it), Tobin, Sammy, and Quinn! Tbh I definitely could've listed more, as I said, I love most of them-- Quinn, though! Is the son of the Existence of Fate, one of the "oldest gods" of my stories. He's forced to see all of time, always. That mistake he made 300 years ago? Almost literally burned into his brain. That mistake you made five seconds ago? Also there. Something happening on the complete other side of the world? Yep. And actions people will commit 500 years from now? You betcha. Except, the "future" events can change, and more drastically so the further they are in the future. Butterfly effect and all. He and his mother, Fate, are constantly doing things in pursuit of... what? Well, they have a plan... but I obviously can't say, haha. Dude's horribly traumatized, though--he's constantly witnessing every single atrocity ever committed and has even watched others that would've been committed played on repeat in his mind until he found a Timeline that prevented it. He's long-since grown used to it, but also consider... his own life is in there. Nothing that happens to him will ever be a surprise. Not except for when he creates a new timeline by changing events that should've otherwise happened. That's why he's constantly telling jokes and being obnoxious to people he doesn't like--to humor himself for the small moments they're new to him. Kid's (he's frozen at a young age because powerful magic + ageless-immortality) depressed af... but it's okay. He's working towards something he believes in. So why are Quinn and Fate actively doing horrible things if they want to make things better? Guess you'll have to find out! In ten-thousand years when I finally write the reveal. (I love Quinn so much istg--)

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Oh, that's hard. Probably Gene! Maybe Freya, but definitely Daleira and Faer! Here, let me just-- Probably: Gene, Mislav, Faer, Liesel, Maritza, Grimnir, Caron Definitely: Daleira, Damaris, Ludmila, Rada, Carmin, Cricket Possibly: Freya, Crow (but I'd possibly find them irritating / overwhelming), Adilzhan, Caspar, Soren, Zarina, Basil (Half of the "probably/possibly"s is because I'm not sure if they'd like me. Especially Zarina. Omfg I love her so much but idk if she'd like me at all.)

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Oh, dear. This is a difficult question. I'll start with characters you guys know--Tazin and Valyarus. Hands down. Tazin because he's way too loud/crude and he would both overstimulate me and piss me off to no end. Valyarus, well... because he's an egotistical, rich prick. Enough said? But actually? Half of the Existentials. Order especially, Fire, and Storm. Perhaps not so coincidentally, all of the "top gods" besides Fate herself...

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

So it depends on the character and why I'm creating them! There's a few different ways one of my characters can come to be, but uh... we'll start with explaining Oska's creation! So, from the beginning, Oska was created to just be the leader of the khonitva (a gang). Originally, he was going to have a rather small role in the story--the khonitva and the reason he was the leader were more important. His main role in the first draft was showing up at a REALLY bad time, capturing the relevant MC(s), and killing another character. So all I worked on was his personality (it related to how/why he was the leader) and his motives. He became an angy man out for vengeance and basically nothing else. Then I expanded on tAR, turning it from a duology to... well it'll be 5 or 6 books now. 😅 The first two books would spend more time in Kavo (the town Gene lives in), and so Oska's character expanded. A MASSIVE part of his character was tied to the death of his brother, so I did a little expanding on his brother, and he had a "sidekick" in Rieka, the khonitva's healer who (even from early drafts) had romantic feelings for him (but at the time they weren't mutual; Oska had too much anger for his brother's death). Oska's character has perpetually been focused on his brother's death and his role as the leader of the khonitva, so I simply expanded it so that--rather than just being the leader--he cared for the khonitva like a family because it was the only bit of "family" he had left. So uh... I guess I focus on the most important part(s) of the characters relative to the story, then expand on them? That's the "role in the story" method I flesh out a character, at least, haha. Otherwise, if I'm just trying to create something with a very VAGUE role/idea, I'll often look at writing prompts, artwork, the literal superpower wiki, and fandoms I'm not part of for something to make me start to think. Y'know, have ideas. I'd get into an example, but this section is already pretty long, haha!

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

COUGH the social Others or socially-othered COUGH impoverished and/or exploited COUGH abused by a parental figure COUGH abused in general COUGH neurodivergent and/or gay COUGH, WHEEZE, HACK-- Ugh, sorry, idk what just happened there. Probably the fact that a lot of them are socially awkward, have anxiety, have a "different" way of communicating, and/or are emotionally withdrawn? And I accidentally give my autism to a lot of them. 😎😭

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

Through Pinterest boards! I have aphantasia and can't really see things in my head very well (if at all), so I'll use Pinterest boards to collect images that have the Vibe™ or characteristics of my individual characters... which is incredibly difficult for my inhuman or even more ordinarily diverse characters. Like, I'd get into a tangent about "why is 90% of art on the internet of white and/or conventionally attractive people" but uh... I don't think I have to here. Anyway! Yeah, a lot of my characters, I'll have vague ideas/impressions of what they look like and seek things out along those lines. Freya, for example, I basically immediately knew to have poofy red hair like Brave's Merida. Some characters are a lot harder, because I think I know a certain thing is a fact... when apparently I saw them as a completely different race without realizing??? (RIP White Rada for example. I was actively TRYING to make a majority of tAR's characters white because they're so xenophobic but no. 😅)

My Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

I used to space out and "hallucinate" scenes of my writing while going about my day. It was my way of coping with the rest of my life, which really wasn't great. (I mean it still isn't now but, y'know. It's much better!) Since I started working on novels, my goal has shifted. I mean--I still write for myself and my own enjoyment first and foremost. But I don't just want to write for myself--I also want to write for others. Here, let me just share a majority of my bio from Tapas--

I'm an autistic woman who's lived through a variety of experiences and places, and like to include things reflecting that. Diverse characters, cultures, environments, and politics (different within each in-story location!) appear in my writing. I like weaving life lessons--through the experiences of relatable characters--into the stories I tell. Many people see themselves or the people around them reflected in the characters they see in books, so I think it's helpful for people to be able to see those same kinds of people within fiction so they can reflect on the relationships within their own lives.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

THEORIES!!!

I absolutely love it when people theorize because:

I put oh-so many mysteries and hints toward Truths

it shows they're paying attention

it shows they care enough to try to pick out the pieces and put them together!

I can see how well I'm doing with the seeding of hints if people are noticing them... even/especially if they realize they're important but don't know how/in what way!

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

Oh dear, you're trying to out me as an egotist now, aren't you?

WELL CONGRATS, I'M FALLING FOR IT--

I'd like to think of myself as a writer who does amazing worldbuilding and makes realistic characters, so... obviously it'd be awesome if others thought of me the same way, haha. I mean, otherwise, I'd really just prefer people enjoy my writing in general? Tbh I don't have any other goals besides enjoying it myself and making others happy with it.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I would say realistic and diverse characters. I'm a huge fan of psychology, love learning about other cultures, and listen to the stories of people from a lot of various backgrounds. I like to think those things allow me to write characters with a variety of backgrounds, worldviews, and personalities.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Nobody's necessarily said it's my "greatest" strength, but the most common compliment I receive about my writing is that it's very easy to read and picture what I'm describing!

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

Uhm... this is a difficult question to answer. I like my stories, but I struggle with prose. I overthink a lot and sometimes have a very hard time describing things in good part because of my aphantasia, but it can be very validating to hear when I do a good job with it.

I have a lot more fun creating the ideas and maybe even making outlines than I do actually writing them--but I'm pretty sure that's kinda normal, haha?

My writing today is very different from what it was 3 years ago, back when I was still writing with my old RP partner (we'd planned to publish together). It was a lot more grimdark before, and tbh I never liked that and only came to terms with that after we parted ways. Then, I put my time and effort into working on tAR (solely my own work even then), clearing out a lot of the grimdark-ness, and building it out to what it is today. I'd temporarily abandoned our old projects because I needed to cut her stuff out, but didn't know how to, and it was painful to try.

it was only a handful of months ago that I revisited my old works with her and found that it's no longer painful. So I've finally been bringing together my old worldbuilding with the kind of writing I want to make today--which still requires a lot of changes and updating.

In short: I love writing, though it can be very emotionally-loaded. I have a lot of insecurities relating to the quality thereof, but I'm pretty sure that's universal, haha.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Of course! Though it'd likely be more outlines than actual prose, haha. After all, I primarily write for myself first and foremost.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Yes and no; so it's a mix of the two. The priority, of course, is what I enjoy writing. However, I do want to become a published author and (hopefully) live primarily off of it one day. That goal means I also have to cater somewhat to what I know other people will like/what makes sense to them.

However, I don't particularly think that's a problem in my case! In application to tAR, I refuse to change it in a lot of its core ways--aka the multiple plots going on at once, the MCs starting as children, the mixture of invented words from their native language, and the fact that it doesn't cleanly fit into any genre--so figuring out how to make it otherwise palatable for others to read is more of a fun challenge for me actually!

SaS is different, however. I purposely made it very mainstream due to initially starting it for a contest (which has since ended), and I think those clichés make it much less enjoyable for me than it otherwise would be. But that can still be changed! I'm working on building out SaS as you read this--that's part of why I focus on it with Asks--so hopefully I'll come to love it half as much as I do tAR!

(And, I mean, to be fair, SaS has been growing on me lately! So it seems to be working at least a little! I think SaS was also very unique for my stories in that I made it to be a story rather than picking out events that I already saw happening in the world I've made, so it's been harder to get into it in general.)

Looks like I've rambled more than I should again, haha. 😅😭 Hope it was still worth reading and/or that you guys enjoyed it anyway??

Tagging (with no pressure): @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @the-letterbox-archives @darkandstormydolls

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