#thesalmonhasspoken

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

💞💝💘💖💕💓💗💕💝💞💖💓💕💖💞💝💞💖💓💕💝💞💖💞💓💕💗💞💘💕💗💞💗💕💖💞💘💖💕💖💗💘💞💘💖💗💝💞💕💘💖💓💘💞💝💘💗💞💓💝💕💘💗💓

HEARTS I LOVE HEARTS THANK YOU

💘💕💗💞💗💕💖💞💘💖💕💖💗💘💞💘💖💗💝💞💕💘💖💓💘💞💝💘💗💞💓💝💕💘💝💘💖💕💓💗💕💝💞💖💓💕💖💞💝💞💖💓💕💝💞💖💞💓💕💗💞💘 💗

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

hoohee

heehoo

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

What is your relationship with Write4Laifu like?

a wholesome relationship i am forever thankful for

when i watched voltron, i would always talk to her and leohanan about it…. which reminds me… i better catch up on that!

on tumblr, i enjoy sending her pictures of cute cats and dogs, and she does likewise, or we could complain about anything really. she’s a wholesome human being whose house i plan to go to for the sole purpose of falling asleep in the middle of all of her pets. she also sends me pictures of her cats on snapchat: those are some relatable cats. 

ALSO SHE PLANS TO GO TO THE SAME UNI (and possibly a same/similar program) AS ME WHICH MEANS I NOW I HAVE A FUTURE UNI FRIEND. i want her to paint my nails someday… and let me play with her cats

all in all a 10/10 friend!

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

hey any updates on what you think about all of your friends? any cool facts?

theres nothing i can think of…

did you know coatrack broke the lock for her locker and instead of getting a new lock survived by taping it up so it looked like it was locked for two weeks? soccer mom ended up saving her by getting her a new one, but that was hilarious. 

in another one of my episodes of having too much sugary food: i was asking my friends what time it was but instead i asked “how old is it?”

i’ll probably add more when i can think of it

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

here's ur daily reminder benvolio montague is gay B)

…

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

YOU ACTUALLY PUNCHED A DUDE IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE ALFJABAKGH SALMON TOAST

I WAS SCARED AND DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO. i am forever guilty of this crime. 

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

What is your WORST memory dealing with guys your age? How often do you want to punch men? HAVE you punched a guy?

theres this fuckeroo in my neighborhood who is around my age and enjoys yelling at me from the safety of his porch (only if no one else is in sight cuz he a coward) – thats the most recurring terrible experience with guys 

there are very few days i would not want to punch a select number of men

I’ve kicked guys a bunch of times throughout my years. the one time i can remember punching a dude (i assume it was a dude cuz the voice sounded masculine) was when we had the haunted house in our high school. if i could go back in time i would undo this because it is my source of shame. grade 9 me decides to go through the haunted house, and as i was walking down the hall a person ( part of the haunted house experience) said “BOO”. it wasnt very loud but i was scared, so instead of yelping my brain decided to punch the area from which the sound came. and so i punched the air, came in contact with what felt like a nose, and heard a muffled “ow”, que me jogging through the rest of the haunted house. i refuse to go into the school haunted house since because i do not want to punch someone. 

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

On a scale from Justin Trudeau to Donald Trump, where would you put your friends on an attractiveness scale

im sorry this is an inefficient scale, a better suggestion:

on a scale from absolutely gorgeous to absolutely gorgeous

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

How many flowers is a person required to send their girlfriend as a gift? Would you like to be sent flowers?

there can never be enough flowers sent to your girlfriend (provided you send them in small batches, lots of flowers can be overwhelming and if the person is anything like me they will sit there and start weeping out of pure joy)

YES PLEASE!!! OF COURSE I WANT FLOWERS

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

What are your University plans? What clubs do you wish to join?

in the most basic terms:

do a social science as my bachelor, get a high enough gpa to get into law school, get that sweet sweet law degree, be a lawyer for a couple years, go back to school to become a judge

clubs? i would assume they have a debate club, something like booknook too, nanowrimo and if they dont have a cat club i will make one

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

On a scale from 1 to infinity how many dogs do you think should be considered "enough"?

thats super duper easy

infinity (assuming some of them are huskies bc i wanna go dog-sledding)

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!Let’s shake it up a little.

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

H-hewwo? UWU

HEWWO DEAR ANON WELCOME 

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

favourite colour? show? song?

colour: i cant decide between black (i know its a shade shh), purple, blue, and grey

show: steven universe

song: the entire hamilton musical 

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

Favourite age you've been so far?

ten

i want to be an immortal ten year old

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

If you were a tree, what tree would you be?

i have no idea, but speaking of trees. ever heard of the banyan tree?

Native to India and Pakistan, the banyan tree is a type of strangling fig tree. They grow from seeds that land on other trees and eventually envelop them completely. As it grows, the pressure it creates also increases, and basically strangles and kills the host tree, in which the now decomposing tree makes a rich soil for the banyan tree.  Aerial roots hang down from the branches and these eventually become trunks, making roots in the soil anywhere they touch the ground, so there are multiple trunks. This circle of trunks deriving from one original tree can reach an enormous size – 200 meters in diameter and 30 meters in height. It can only be pollinated by a certain species of wasp that breed in the specific type of fig. 

The tree is drought resistant. Banyan has many uses in traditional medicine, for example, the milky sap is applied externally for treating pains and bruises, and is a remedy for toothache. Despite this, scientists are only now beginning to investigate the plant, for example leucocyanids, which may have potential for treating diabetes, have been isolated from the tree.

The first Europeans to encounter banyan trees were Alexander the Great and his army, who reached India in 326 BCE. The notes they took back to Greece informed Theophrastus, the founder of modern botany, and — ultimately — led 17th-century English poet John Milton to write in Paradise Lost that Adam and Eve made the first clothes from banyan leaves.

During India’s struggle for independence from Britain, the British hanged hundreds of rebels to their deaths from banyan trees. Independent India made the banyan its national tree.

So basically if I had to be a tree I would want to be a banyan tree, but I’m probably some lame tree like the common oak.

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