#theriverlunepoetry

[theriverlune]

Was it then?

Go ahead and wind the windows down

I feel the wind on my face

When did that stop making my heart race?

Do you remember when ages ago

the sun dusting everything in golden light

would have been just a moment to smile at

Not something to clench so tightly in my fist?

[theriverlune]

Excerpt

Gently. Gently.

It's time to move on. Just like nature has moved on.

We should learn a lesson from nature about grief. Life goes on, yes.

But not without enveloping what was lost

with love and new life

creating something again

with your grief-stricken body.

Not replacing. Acknowledging.

Not forgetting. Giving.

Wildly. Wildly.

[theriverlune]

Dear Medusa,

Dear Medusa,

Do you see what Athena gave you as a curse, or a blessing?

Do you get lonely? Do you get tired of everyone screaming "Monster!"?

Is it nice to finally not be afraid of men anymore? Or, are even you still afraid?

Why is it that men always try to find and slay us? We are not a danger

to anyone, including you; we hide ourselves away,

careful not to cause hurt with our gaze.

Do they fear a woman more powerful than them? Do they want to prove they can cut us down to size?

They see the writhing snakes beneath their eyelids, and they fear.

But instead of flight, they fight

heading towards the snake, blaming them for a fear it did not create

fear turns into hate

and hate turns into violence.

But you simply quicken the process of hate on the body. If one hates long enough,

the heart turns to stone, the mind becomes rigid and immoveable.

You show them what they were already doing to themselves.

[theriverlune]

The smile

Apparently, the human social instinct to smile

is theorised to be the evolution of the "fear grin"

Observed in apes

they use the expression to show others they

pose no threat

I never particularly put my trust in smiles

People would give me a beautiful show

of their teeth

But they were razor sharp

with a relentless stinging bite

creating flesh-coloured decorative patterns

along my skin

I'd smile through the pain

I wanted them to know I posed no threat

When I saw it

I was in a circle of stranger and aquaintance

My dress didn't fit right, I had

to keep pulling it

And my body didn't feel right, I had

to keep pulling it

That's when I saw it

The smile

Duchenne

But not only that

the eyes were kind

the creases and lines

like gentle brush strokes

from the hand of a genius mind

It made all the difference

But even then, I still couldn't let myself trust it

[theriverlune]

The Welcoming of Spring

The soft touch of sunlight thaws out

my winter skin

Until this moment I hadn't realised

how frozen I had been

Frostbite had captured

my limbs

my fingers numb,

suspended

For five months my veins were a river of ice

but those first beams of hot sunlight

melt the cold encasing

crack open these frozen veins

they could finally flow again

and they flowed with warmth, life, and the

promise of happiness.

Demeter welcomes back her

darling Persephone with open arms

and with my eyes closed, head lifted

to the sun, so do I.

[theriverlune]

i wanna look ugly

i wanna look ugly

i wanna be everything most guys do not want

the concept of gender norms & conforming

to arbitrary beauty standards is gravity

& i wanna defy it

they say it's impossible but eh

plenty of people have been to space

i wanna look like a bog witch

black talons for nails, smile & say

"that's what i was going for" when men call me bitch

blemished skin, no failure of a husband

just an entire army of cats

i wanna be something unpleasant to experience

i don't wanna be the eye of the storm

i wanna be the tongue & the teeth

stirring up the debris, just cause a little chaos

to leave them disgusted & seething

they say beauty takes work

& i agree

but i think ugliness takes just as much

everyday i"m dodging tweezers, blaring infomercials

& the words "actually everyone is beautiful"

i don't wanna be beautiful

i wanna be ugly

there's something freeing about it

beautiful is a performance

& the audience is wide-eyed, rows of mouths open in mocking grins,

salivating

for your inevitable misstep.

[theriverlune]

Liberation's Thesis Statement

There is no such thing

as a default human being