#theres this one specific scene im going to do FOR SURE

[zeawesomebirdie]

Just so you are all aware, once I get a hold of a digital copy of Gunsmoke I'm going to be so insufferable about Matt and Chester now that I can make gifs

[flovverworks]

pien

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Oct 21st

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1. Hiii first of all i just wanted to thank you for being able to find the fic i was looking for last time :)) im looking for this fic that i cant find anywhere it was a modern au on ao3 where wangxian dated in hs or college but lqr forced lwj to break up with wwx (through txt if i remember right) but wwx didnt know that lwj was forced so when they meet years later and lwj is working for the lan company they hire wwx and the wens to work on the cybersecurity and wwx is rlly angry while lwj is just pining. TIA!! @draconislyra

FOUND? Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108k, wangxian, modern, angst w/ happy ending, romance, persuasion au, separations, pining, miscommunication, depression, self-harm, reconciliation, smut)

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2. theres this fic and i forgot the title, but its where jin ling has been wearing wwx's protective bracelet since he was a baby and assumed/thought his mom gave it to him and the bracelet is rlly effective! but in guanyin temple, su she(?) broke it but wwx fixes it and strings the bracelet back together

FOUND! a symbol to remind you that there's more to see by paperminds (T, 9k, JC & JL & WWX, canon-compliant(ish), post-canon(ish), Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mild/Moderate Angst, angst with happy ending, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Twin Idiots, Reconciliation)

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3. Hi! I'm looking for a specific fan fiction i remember that both wwx and lwj has lived a long and happy life and now they think it's time for them to leave the world lsz is very upset and doesn't want to let his parents go they go upto a field to fall asleep or smth, there was also wwx telling lwj how tired he is, I've been dying to find this one

FOUND? The Sea Calls Us Home. by selfptrts (T, 3k, WangXian, ZhuiLing, Suicide, Hurt No Comfort, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, wangxian are married and have a son, xicheng if you squint hard enough, Mentions of Canonical Character Death, Assisted Suicide, References to Supernatural (TV), References to Canon, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Immortality)

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4. Hello! I'm in desperate need of help. I'm trying to find this one fic where NMJ gave WWX Baxia since he couldn't wield her anymore. I remember a scene where he was struggling with her but then JC(?) told him he was still using sword forms so he needed to find a different way. Thank you so much in advance!!!

FOUND? Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It) WWX definitely ends up weilding Baxia in Lynchpin, and there's a scene about WWX creating a new Sabre sword style.

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5. Hii, I'm looking for two wangxian fics that I unfortunately don't remember much about. A) The first one was one where the war was solved and WWX joined DafanWen, I remember that Dafan's robes were pink/peach and I think DafanWen became a medical sub-clan of Lan.

B) The second one was a post canon where WWX basically adapted to life in Cloud Recess. He learned to knit and I think the fic had a tag that had to do something like "something about gender roles". @canisirio

5A)

FOUND? 💖 Light Source by abCEE (M, 31k, wangxian, not Jiang friendly, no golden core transfer, fall of the jiang sect, happy ending)

5B)

FOUND? Reeds in the Wind by merakily (T, 26k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Yunmeng bros Reconciliation, Rabbit Therapy, Sewing Therapy, PTSD, Emotional Baggage, Hurt/Comfort, JC is Bad at Feelings, JC Needs a Hug) I feel like it's not the right fic but it does have wwx doing embroidery

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6. hi this is for fic finder!

i think this is starts when wwx is still in the burial mounds with the wens and he's called? because lwj is sick like literally in bed, unconscious with fever sorta sick. I think it turned out to be a curse or smth related to his golden core!

also another fic, also these two fics coild be the same so I'm not sure

it could've been related to the first request, I kind of remember wwx sacrificing or getting harmed to save lwj and then all the Lan elders kind of give wwx a new core in the caves in cloud recesses

this is really messy, I'm just trying to say that I remember these 2 points and they could be in 1 fic or 2 different fics

thank you sm @bunnycoffeeumcat

FOUND! Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ’s emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) for the first point but not the second so I guess this is 6a?

FOUND? 🧡 decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort) Are they maybe thinking of decay by antebunny? I know the ending of the fic has a similar scene to what they were describing

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7. Hi. I am looking for a fic where Baoshan Sanren knows about Wei Wuxian’s fate but cannot directly interfere. Instead she raises Mo Xuanyu as a cultivator and Talisman Master who helps Madam Jin keep Jin Ling safe in Lanling Jin before leaving for the Imperial Exams. Before he can reach, he is assassinated by Jin Guangyao. Wei Wuxian then wakes up in the body and decides to write the exams, becoming a high ranking minister. The emperor takes an interest in the cultivation world a few years later.

FOUND? Awakening: Return of the Patriarch - Another Way by SplitGirl28 (M, 35k, WIP, Transmigration, Related to Jin Guangslut again, Nobody has access to WWX's notes, Experimentation Underway, Established SongXiao, A-Qing Lives)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for this fic where wwx and lwj are thrown into an arranged marriage together, and don't know each other. Wwx is generally happy and excited, and lwj sees this and immediately hates him, bcoz he wanted a calm, quiet spouse to live with. The whole thing is orchestrated by Madam Yu, who basically abandons wwx at cloud recesses bcoz she figures he would be miserable here. Lwj doesn't like him to or try to understand him, so wwx slowly gets more and more depressed and suicidal, kind of as a parallel to Madam lan. I think he tries teaching for a while, and he's very good at it, but the elders step in and claim he's corrupting the children, so that's that. He finds the yin iron, and plans to destroy it worth a circle that will also take him out along with it, but before he can go through with the plan lwj realises how depressed he is and starts making an effort to help him. The fic ends with lwj offering to run away from cloud recesses with him, and wwx telling him no, he doesn't want to be some sort of shameful indulgence, if lwj really wants him he'll stay and fight with the elders on his behalf @arsonistbydaylibrarianbynight

FOUND? Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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9. Hi! For the next Fic Finder, I’ve been trying to find a fic where LWJ leaves the CR to go help WWX in the Burial Mounds. It kind of starts of with LWJ and WWX confrontation after WWX rescues the Wens. There’s a sequence where LWJ is gathering stuff to take to the Burial Mounds. Then in later chapters it’s LXC, LQR, and a couple of Lan Elders going to Yiling to try and bring LWJ back to the CR. They find him in Yiling, selling produce, only to discover that LWJ is living a happy life with WWX and is no longer following Gusu Lan’s rules as he lets a bunch of kids decorate his hair. Sorry this is super long. I can remember what happens in the fic, but for the life of me I can’t remember the title. Thanks a bunch!

FOUND!🔒Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wangxian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies)

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10. hi - i’m looking for a f/f wangxian fic. lwj and wwx start as friends but there’s obvious sexual tension (wwx still thinks she’s straight, and keeps “baiting” lwj). lwj lives near her mom, and she bikes to visit her with wei ying. there’s a scene where wwx is wearing novelty panties with a weed leaf on it? and wwx turns out to have nipple piercings which makes lwj go insane? eventually wwx is like “i may not be a woman but you’re a lesbian so you can’t love me.” and lwj is like. nah. i love you?

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11. Hi! This is for fic finder. I honestly dont remember if it was a fanfic from this fandom or a chinese bl novel i red years ago. It didnt help that i dont remember much of the story. I will call them mc and ml (if it was a fanfic, wwx is the mc). They are an actor. The mc got a big role and there are a sex scene in the film with the ml. And then the mc catch a feeling to the ml. The plot of the movie they shoot is where the mc always running away. The movie plot kinda resobate with the mc feeleng. And the writting style is tell a twi stoey. The movie plot and the fic. Long story short, the mc get kidnapped. I dont remember if its trully happen or the movies's plot but i think the mc was genuinely kidnapped. The kidnapping is meticulous that make people tell the ml to brace himself for the worst case scenario. The ml helped to find the mc. In the end, the mc is found but in the bad shape. Near the end of the story, they are in shooting where the plot is the ml found the mc. They hugged and the staff say that it feels genuine.

Im 80% sure its a wangxian fic. I read that around 3-4 years ago. Thanks! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi im #11 in recent fic finder. I dont know if it will help but it involves a cottage (where wwx is held when he is kidnapped), a river (i think their investigation lead to the river and found a red scraf), a red scraf (i think wwx knit it? I dont remember but it his). Its not outsider pov and not a twitter fic (i dont know what is called). I think the film they play is a porn one? (Not sure about this part). Thanks!

NOT FOUND! call me, beep me by myung (T, 39k, wangxian, modern, social media, actors au, celebrities, chatting & texting)

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12. fic finder: does anyone remember this one fic where lan qiren was looking for a way to get wwx a new core and he calls for people to make spiritual donations or something? wwx didnt think anyone would volunteer but when he looked there had been a huge crowd gathered to help him

FOUND! I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Golden Core, Canon-Typical Violence, lqr's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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13. Hi, can you help me find a fanfic that I missed? It was about WWX who died (supposedly in his world, devoured by corpses) but he travels to another dimension, he thinks it was because of the Stygian Tiger seal, and finds another version of himself that was from that dimension. There is a specific scene where WWX (modern) teaches WWX (cultivator) how to use the shower and WWX (modern) talks about Su She who was his boyfriend and such. In the end, Huaisang reveals that the two WWX have the same DNA and that he has never seen an identity of him. / oi, podem me ajudar a achar uma fic, (hi, can you help me find a fic,) It's from wwx that he dies and travels to another dimension, where he meets another older wei wuxian, this wwx (modern) is investigating a case of dead people, there's a scene where they take baths together (Wwx (modern) teaches wwx (cultivator) how to use showers) and wwx talks about his jerk ex-boyfriend who was su she, there's a specific scene where wwx (modern) confronts su she (ex-boyfriend) he (modern wwx) meets lwj who was a teacher of something and they end up getting close.

(this part moved to Itmf)

both requests by @quwieiidkd

FOUND? so when you go wherever it is you will go, take the moon with you by comforting_monachopsis (T, 138k, WWX & WWX, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, JC & WWX & JYL, past WWX/SS, past WWX/XY, canon divergence, time travel, dimension travel, modern, private investigator WWX, professor LWJ, trauma, serial killers, strangers to lovers, BAMF WWX, hurt WWX)

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14. I'm looking for a fanfic, but I can't find it. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji share an unsatisfying night, but fate keeps bringing them together. thanks! ❤️

FOUND? 🔒 Bad Sex, Good Loving by Nyatci (E, 18k, WangXian, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/referenced WWX/Others, Implied/referenced LWJ/Others, One night stand WangXian, PWP, but like, Bad Porn with Good Plot, The Plot is the Porn being Bad, Self-Esteem Issues, Communication Failure, Idiots in Love, Falling In Love, Practice makes perfect, They work on the communication thing eventually, Under-negotiated Kink, mild angst with a very happy ending, BDSM Undertones, Consensual Non-Consent)

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15. hi this is for ficfinder!

I think this was based in the 1900s? and lwj is an exorcist of sorts, and I think wen qings family calls him for help, because I kinda remember her opening the door for him and granny is also there. wwx is a Gardner in the wen house and he's also the necromancer. I think the phrase used was similar "there's a friendly gardner"

thank you sm!

FOUND? sweet beneath sharp edges by isabilightwood (E, WangXian, Historical, Jazz Age, Light Horror, Demonic Cultivation, Ghost Possession, Haunted House, Cultivator LWJ, Gardener WWX, disabled character (WN), WRH is not a good uncle (or father), Mystery, LWJ is sent to exorcise a house and flirts with the gardener instead, said gardener may or may not be the monster he was sent to kill, Madam Lan Lives, Monsterfucker LWJ, Bottom LWJ, Resentacles, flirting via fruit, Weirdo4weirdo wangxian, Oral Fixation, WWX eats the rich (literally), Power Bottom LWJ but wwx is still in control)

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16. Hi, I’m searching for a fic I read quite some time ago. Wwx actually remembers Lwj confessing to him after the Burial Mounds siege and then they’re kinda forced into a marriage? Lwj goes to live with wwx and the wens but wwx treats him horribly. Lwj by then had been whipped and so he’s terrible pain all the time.

Thank you so much 😊 @bcozwhythefuknot

FOUND? ❤️ A Myriad of Blossoms by Itszero (E, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, YLLZ WWX, Hurt LWJ, Cruel wwx, he’s cruel until he’s not, Protective WWX, Caring WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Dark WWX)

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17. Hi!! I've been looking for this fic for a while, I hope yall can help me. So what I remember is that LWJ becomes the YLLZ's concubine, spouse, bed warmer? They spent years apart, and WWX held some resentment due to a misunderstanding (LWJ was punished with the whip and couldn't be besides him?) I remember this scene where LWJ is wearing a (silk?) robe. Then WWX funds out about the whip scars and It was a whole thing that solved the misunderstanding, I believe. It may be a AU since there was some kind of Magic besides canon stuff? Like, the Wei Sect? members were part something (demons, animals, idk) and It happened to LWJ too for being in the BM. Oh, and MXY and A-Yuan were there too! I hope someone can help me. Thank you!

FOUND? the necromancer's fairytale by iliacquer (E, 17k, WangXian, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, but they have switch energy, safe sane consensual noncon kink, is the Yiling Patriarch a kink, incoherent worldbuilding is incoherent, Past Torture the lan family are terrible sorry, Rough Sex, Pain Kink)

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18. hello! i'd like to ask for a fic finder! it's at least two-three years old, and on the shorter side i believe??

the first one is CR study arc, where lwj believes wwx's prank was specifically because he found out lwj is a cutsleeve/has feelings for wwx. i think he gets silently angry like canon, and later he confronts wwx about it? (it's not works/32795896 though it's similar)

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19. Hi! I'm looking for a specific fic - I think I read it at least 2 years ago, maybe earlier. WWX is hidden by (I can't quite remember if it's after 13 years or before hand) JC and JYanli, and pretends to be a woman whilst figuring what to do now. Jin Guangshan hits on her, and as always, LWJ falls for WWX in a different form. Whilst at the Golden Carp Tower, WWX is also in a wheelchair - I can't quite remember why. Everything gets revealed eventually.

FOUND? My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 132k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) Both of these have jgs being a creep towards wei ying

FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who's That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels) Both of these have jgs being a creep towards wei ying

FOUND? By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal) idr if theres a wheelchair involved for sure. i feel like there is but im gonna be honest i always forget abled ppl exist so in my mind when i read everyone is using mobility aids all the time until i get reminded otherwise lol but i do recall that he is weak and regaining energy so its possible he was using a wheelchair atp for that reason ? either way its a good fic

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20. Hello, i love what you're doings! A fic I'm looking for: JC and LWzj time travelled and decided to fix canon. As such, they spent a lot of time together. But that lead to everyone- especially wwx - to think they're a couple. Wwx is okay with it, but really bothered that he keels getting dragged into their dates @midnightlighthowlite

FOUND? ❤️ For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, WangXian, Time Travel, Some People Live/Not Everyone Dies, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Canon Divergence, Asexual JC, First Time, Getting Together, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ)

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[awsugar]

speaking of questions that exercise very mcr specific muscles in your brain. i was perusing mychem tumblr the other day and came across a masterpost about the SS/mayo blog frerard lore (i’m aware frerard is not PC these days thanks obama). i’ve been a dedicated fan for over a decade now and my brain is an mcr lore bank but i had literally never heard of this. do you know about it and if you do what are your thoughts

omg yea. ss/mayo is crazy. and unfortunately a lot of it has been lost to time and its not even saved on wayback. theres some stuff thats convincing, theres some stuff thats not.

so like lets preface this by saying that the ft willz myspace? confirmed to be frank. and obviously the stuff posted on skeleton crew, those screenshots of ft willz works that look like theyre on burnt paper? yea so those are confirmed and those are real fully frank no questions.

i personally am a skeptic of other accounts that claim to be ft willz. like the tumblr? i do not think thats frank. and i think that came at a time when people had already really speculated or figured out that ft willz WAS frank. so like i think the tumblr is honestly just someone who was pretending to be frank and managed to sort of emulate his style but yea i don't think it's him. i think the reason some of the stuff hits so hard in a frerard sense is because that was intentional by the person writing it. you know.

anyway ss and mayo. there were two blogs on blogspot started in 2007 i believe that fans thought were frank and gerard. well it started with mayo (its-mayonaise.blogspot.com). that blog is still up and so are a lot of the posts but i think a lot of them have been deleted as well, and not saved anywhere on wayback. im sure theyre on someones hard drive out there but i haven't seen them. then a blog appeared called iamthemodernprometheus.blogspot.com. some of those posts are still up but most are gone. that was ss/sss/shitsubou shita/frank (allegedly). ss started interacting in the comments on mayo's blog. and i think i may have read some mayo blog posts back in the day but i haven't been able to find them to answer this one. i just remember when i joined the fandom most people thought it was gerard.

now here's a couple things of evidence. THIS is a blogspot comment thread where people who have saved some of ss' blog posts put them in the comments. and yes obviously it could be an elaborate hoax by two fans who were invested in frerard. but like these things were being posted as it HAPPENED. you know? idk i wasnt there in 2007. but 2007 was when the fanfic took off and we really informed a lot of our perception of what happened with frerard on things like ft willz/stuff that happened on stage/and a lot of these posts really fit into the timeline. i would recommend reading that because its kind of hard to believe its like. a teenager pretending to be frank. it really just SOUNDS like frank. and he's really writing blog posts. basically to gerard lol. it gives the impression that they were on tour together (projekt rev) and doing the Thing but like there was def tension going on behind the scenes and we already know that thats true. frank didn't like eliza and thought gerard was moving too fast, the imnotokay.net post came from someone in mcr's camp that ppl thought was frank (or maybe brian) and then tbh its happening again?? just months later? it makes complete sense that if frank thought gerard was moving too fast with eliza that he DEFINITELY thought he was moving too fast with lynz getting MARRIED to her backstage just a couple months? after breaking off his engagement with eliza. anyway just read the comments. its very easy to believe its frank.

and then the other peice of evidece i found in this reddit thread: x comment in particular by u/ReallyKapu. they say that they have always gone by Kapunua online and that they met frank at a lm show, gave him a hat with the inscription 'sss' inside and later on he thanked them for it on the blog.

sure enough:

from what i've read it seems like the blog was actually a community. there were people who followed it and made friends in the comment section. and it does seem implausible but it looks to me like frank saved all of his gifts from tour and then made this post specifically thanking people for them. the person who claims this is them also says that they don't think mayo is actually gerard but that frank thought it was.

and i've seen stuff saying that if it wasn't gerard it was probably someone close to the band because they had like information that was posted on the blog that wouldn't come readily available (or make sense) until the show the next day.

anyway, i wasn't there for this. i was on the forums and twitter and tumblr for a LOT of mcr history but this was a little before my time and i think if i had been there OR if the blogs had actually been preserved in some way that i might be able to form a better opinion. i think theres a lot of evidence for frank, not sure about gerard. but i won't claim that it's true either bc we really don't know and this one i don't think we ever will!

[saintobio]

Hi saint! God you have no idea how much I wanted to go home after seeing you updated. You’re basically the only one with notifs on bc I cant, CANT, miss an update from my fave fic of all time (fears for my life bc you said it doesnt get better til chapter 14)

Anyway, this is not really a theory, but im curious as to what transpired between mc and toru the morning after their confrontation. Why did gojo leave? Did they fight? Did mc force him to leave to go to akemi to lessen her feelings of guilt?

Anyway, why do i have a feeling that akemi could, COULD, be 🤰? bc if my memory is correct, I recalled one scene where they woohooed with akemi saying she wanted no protection on? And since i do work on a medical field, it is possible for cramps when implantation happens (mc will have the heart attack of her lifetime istg). Although it could also be bc of her condition bc it wasnt really really explicitly stated in one chapter they woohooed without protection on (my memory is foggy bc i never reread chapters where they woohooed. I feel mc’s pain 🥲🥲) but why do i also have a feeling mc could be pregnant too

👁️👄👁️ bc they did have sachiro after woohooing in the first few chapters of SN (theyre both so fertile skdhjssk). Also, I feel like mc’s heart condition is coming back :((( after chapter 10 where she was pounding her heart to stop the pain, I can only imagine her angina waiting in the corner ;((

There’s only a few remaining chapters left (💔) but theres still so much drama and tension left unresolved (Gem still doesnt know they 👉🏽👌🏽) I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you continuously grace us with your writing. There are only a few fics that really made me feel the pain and surely your writing will always be at the top of a godtier list when it comes to giving heavy angst (i can only hope they have a HEA and have a new kid bc i really wanna see satoru redeem himself as a father 🥲🥲) I will surely miss this series when it ends and I will surely reread this when I am feeling the blues and just want to cry. Your brain and hands work wonders and I hope people here would also learn that waiting for the next update is definitely worth it (please stop pressuring her for new updates :(( saint gives her entire heart writing this. The wait is so so worth it).

And before this ends I would like to ask mc and satoru what are their current thoughts are after their 😏 hot steamy confrontation (I WAS SO HAPPY THEY FCKED TBH) no pressure if they wont answer hehe. Thank you for giving us SN and SY, Saint! I will look forward to future fics from you. Sending you much love and I hope and pray that you get all your heart’s desire 💛💛💛💛

hello loveee!! those are really good questions and thank you so much for ur kind words 🥹 i recognize ur blog bc you’ve been a longtime reader of mine, so happy to still see u here <3 anyway, your theories:

1. the morning after, gojo and yn are already having an emotional exchange (kinda) thats why yn was already crying when akemi caught them!

2. what i can only say is akemi’s pelvic pain situation is there for a specific reason :)

3. their families (gen, momjo, etc) will be back soon, it’s total chaos

4. while doing it? they’re definitely going crazy for each other. next morning is all guilt !!

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 13 - woowoo is not beating the marriage proposal allegations

im back after finishing metaphor refantazio. short one today

idk if this was fully reflected in EN, but wow there's uh, something going on here. so in trimax' re-introduction to vash and wolfwood, it essentially involves the latter crashing into a family's day and taking one of their member away.

granted there are a lot of reasons why vash has to leave his new family, and its completely understandable, but theres a good chance he's not returning without getting tossed around, stabbed, and shot a few times. and once VTS returns, vash isnt going to be able to lay low with Sheryl and Lina again. everyone is on the same page about this.

even then! there is. something about the scene between sheryl and wolfwood here. heres the OH's version. notice how she phrases vash leaving her and lina:

jp version:

/There are moments when, when one loses a member of their family... /The times don't always pass by easily... /I'd like -- /For you to never, ever forget that fact, Mr. Wolfwood. /.......... /Forgive me.

so, to re-contextualize this.

we have sheryl, the 'head' of the family unit here, who essentially is watching an adopted child fly the nest due to One shady man from outside town. said man is taking one of her family member away to live a new life after 1 meeting.

and while im sure there's a layer of dread knowing that vash might die in his quest after leaving this sanctuary, it also comes off as handing off one's daughter to their partner. usually for marriage, if you wanna bring in the asian pov? cause uh daughters marry into the husband's side? shrugs?

of course, i might be having shipping goggles on.

then again. in the next chapter a insurance agent hit man tries to kill vash, who gets shot trying to cover a bystander, and wolfwood comes in to stop that. hes pretty pissed about it too:

the EN here is pretty on point, but there's something about the phrase wolfwood is using for My Pal in jp. specifically, he uses the phrase, 人のつれ. which more accurately, would be roughly, "my traveling companion".

or, even MORE accurately, つれ Tsure is a person you drag along with you. which is to say, wolfwood phrases this as if hes the one initiating and leading the journey, not vash himself. (to see that monument with the KNIVES graffiti). theres possessiveness and protectiveness in that bubble overall too with a very accusatory tone thats clearer in JP than EN.

gotta also love this part here where he calls vash vash and not tongari yet. that starts in the chapter after this.

anyway that possessiveness and protectiveness even at this point isnt just bc he was hired by knives to do a job. this isn't the face of a man who is underpaid.

its the face of a man who thinks someone is a jackass

and needs extra tabasco pain on their open wounds for hurting one of his. (platonic? romantic? just a job? mystery!)

yay!

[shiny-jr]

pardon my late message i've been letting letting the current damnation chapters sink in the past couple of days after finally taking the quiz (im am still waiting with baited breath but like in a chill way for the rest) but HOLY. MOLY.

i did indeed notice that the MC's have different morality stances, and they match their crimes (granted im still trying to figure out which one did what. cuz rn i got stuck on iago coming fraud or tax evasion, even though theyre super down with murder, but like raven is WAY more down to murder somebody. im just nit paying enough attention to figure it out, really. im having too much fun vibin)

2 THE WAY THE CHARACTERS MAY NOT START OUT ENTIRELY YANDERE FOR THE MC AND INSTEAD DEVELOP THE OBSESSION FOR THEM LATER ON 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌😭😭😭😭😭 BRILLIANTBRILLIANTBRILLIANT. ok so i got heartslabyul on my first attempt so it wasnt as like "obvious" even though trey and cater are both instantly "shocked" i was like "that could just be bc our character is weird it doesnt necessarily mean they yandere switch has been flipped pshaw! 🤭" BUT THEN eventually i got to pomfiore and epel confirmed it when he was like "ive been imagining things i never did before!" and i was like "oh snap! WAIT is *THIS* part of the punishment? like not JUST being sent to another world that is based on a story, but specifically a YANDERE DEATH TRAP? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯"

cuz like, sure, the MC is doing what they can to survive but depending on which one theyre fine to just vibe and let the story take its course if theyve got a good chance to survive not doing anything special. but then the story always gets WEIRD, RIGHT?! stuff always goes wrong! was that part of the vision? or am i going conspiracy crazy?

anyway AMAZING WORK. also you really fed the vil simps on that one story. i thought i was over him and content to be like rook and admire from afar but that SCENE with his hands wrapped around the retainer 🥵 i darn near short-circuited. HOW DARE YOU! (please continue 😉)

its hard to choose a favorite story in this series and i dont want to speak too soon before theyre all out. but i do have favorite bits in each of them.

and i just love the endings to them all. i love the bittersweet nature of all the endings. like none, of them are really romantic in a comforting way (duh its a yandere story) but they do vary in romance level. like by far i think riddle's azul's and vil's are the most romantic while leona and jamil are quite cold and calculating or in jamil's case mostly possessive and manipulative on the surface. it's VERY interesting.

and also bc im silly and you brought up the yandere-ness of the other characters, i start to wonder what happens next in these stories (im not asking for sequels. oh heavens no! never! unless you wanted to, but im mostly just brainstorming character relationships and potential conflicts). like in the savannaclaw story, ruggie and jack are also glued to the MC but not in a really romantic way? ruggie has that "i want to be your #2/by your side forever" which could go either way, but to me initially reads as "jack was pushing his way into MY spot and i want to guarantee he cant have it" rather than a "one day i'll deserve to be by your side romantically and for now i want to ensure i'll always have that opportunity by being next to you and a priority of yours" and then comes leona's proposal at the end, and i was thinking "uhhh but mc is by your side as consort, then ruggie gets pushed out of his spot in favor of the husband taking over. even though ruggie could still be an advisor and confidant, its still like 'move over dude theres another taking priority over you" and then that gets me wondering "what would happen if MC turned down leona? what kinda havoc would he wreak if any? does that put the village in jeopardy if he gets pissed off? what if they accept and they're STILL screwed bc he stops paying attention to the village after he gets the throne? and then the chieftain is taken into the palace and away from the village and has no way back and theyre left to basically flounder without them?"

also i really like how you end your stories with pseudo-cliffhangers? i mean they are but also the plot is mostly resolved and whatever major things that needed to happen happened. and its just the character resolutions and epilogues you dont see. its entertaining. like i said, i like to imagine what happens next and you really leave some stuff open for that.

anyway! thank you so much for sharing your stories!

Oh, for the crimes, just look at one of the questions which I believe asks what you (the quiz taker/MC) committed. Those are currently five of the seven crimes I've listed before, and each MC has committed at least ONE of them. But, they could've always committed more too.

On that other topic, of characters going yandere, one thing I hate is when reading a story and for some reason the characters are already obsessed with the MC but for absolutely no apparent reason. And me personally, I enjoy a bit of build up, which is why I try to implement some in my writing. Which can be a bit hard to do within forty pages when all these other things are happening, but I manage for the most part.

[hayleythecannibal]

Twisted Minds: Act II- Chapter Twenty-Three Naka-Choko

TW: Crime scenes, Gore, Implied Death, Death, Cannibalism, Guns, SMUT!!, UNPROTECTED SEX, oral (M and F), PIV,

Warning this is Fem!reader. You can also find this on Wattpad and A03 under the name @HayleyMarieOfficial. Comment if you want to be added to the taglist.

Taglist: @punkin-time @miaowkitty @gabriella-aesthetic @urlocalfanficwriter @dilfdemolisher

Twisted Minds Masterlist

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT-

Hannibal is facing Will and Y/N across the dining table.  Y/N is sitting in a chair with an emotionless stare. Positioned as one would a queen. RANDALL TIER'S CORPSE Lies across the table. His head lolling at an unnatural angle. A piece of paper is pinned to his chest. On it is written: "Return to Sender." Finally Will steps out of the shadows:

“I'd say this makes us even. I sent someone to kill you, you sent someone to kill me. Even-steven.” Will says, He places a hand on my shoulder. Theres still blood splatter on my face. Like red freckles. I can still feel the tearing of skin, the break of bone, the death of an animal. “Consider it an act of reciprocity. One positive action begets another.”

“Polite society normally puts such taboos on taking a life.” I speak up, the look on my face could rival that of my mother. If i could see my face im sure it’d be same as the one my mother wore before she stalked towards me 12 years ago. Hannibal tilts his head. She’s different. “Without death, we'd be at a loss. It's the prospect of death that drives us to greatness. Did you kill him with your hands?”

Will holds up his bloody, bruised knuckles. “It was very intimate.”

“It deserves intimacy. You were Randall Tier's final enemy.”

They sit at one end of the dining room table, Randall Tier's body still splayed across it. Hannibal removes Will's hands from the Epsom salts bath, drying them. Will stares absently as Hannibal treats his wounds. Hannibal clocks the retreat. o inside, Will. “You'll want to retreat, you'll want it as we want to jump from balconies, as the glint of the rails tempts us when we hear the approaching train.” Hannibal applies salve to the cuts and bruises on Will's hands, gently rubbing the ointment into his open wounds.

“Stay with me.” Hannibal says as he carefully wraps gauze bandages around Will's hands. “Where else would we go?” I say softly. Its not a question. Its a statement.

“You have everywhere to go. As long as you buttress your mind against deterring forces like guilt. You should be quite pleased. I am.” Will stares at Randall Tier's body on the table before him. “Of course you are.”

“When you were killing Randall, did you fantasize you were killing me?”

“Yes.” That makes Hannibal smile. “Most of what we do, most of what we believe, is motivated by death.”

“I don't think I've ever felt more alive than when I was killing him.”

“Then you owe Randall Tier a debt. How will you repay him?” Will considers that...I smirk with a wicked idea.

MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY - DINOSAUR ROOM - NIGHT-

The large room is dark. Overhead lights begin to FLICKER to life, and the exhibits come into view. Moving through the long-dead fossils, FASTER AND FASTER – Until we find DROPS OF BLOOD, thick and viscous, on the floor.

RANDALL TIER'S HEAD or, more specifically, the top of it. It has been taken off at the TOP JAW. And placed atop the skull of the SABERTOOTH CAT Randall was building A nightmarish form of a man's head, EYES STARING, with the savage fangs and lower jaw of the great predator. the creature is now a nightmarish hybrid.

The cat's skeletal torso meets Randall's arms and legs, which have been used to replace the cat's limbs. The BLOODY FLESH at odds with the bare ivory of the bone. A grotesque amalgamation of man and beast, of long-dead bones and recently-living flesh…

Will and Y/N take it in as they approach. Jack Crawford and Hannibal Lecter follow close behind the couple. “His killer chose not to dispose of his body, but to display it.” Jack says, I tilt my head at my work. I think i finally understand the beauty of the gruesome fate called death. Its an art. One to be perfected. 

“A jarring reminder of death's informality.” Hannibal says as he gazes at the couple, proud of who’ve they grown to be, who he helped them become. “Randall Tier was denied a respectable end that he himself denied others.” Jack says as he watches Hannibal.

“Dissection is disgrace. This is a humiliation, a final indignity. t mocking him. This isn't disdain. He's commemorating him.” Hannibal says, Commemoration? No. I wanted to show the beast he felt on the inside to the world.  “This killer has no fear for the consequences of what he's done.’

“No guilt.” Will Graham approaches the Randall-tooth display, leaving Jack and Hannibal behind. The ORGANIC HUM of his CIRCULATORY SYSTEM grows loud in his ears. HE CLOSES HIS EYES. A PENDULUM swings in the BLACKNESS of his mind. FWUM. FWUM.

his eyes open --

The museum is now dark, FALLING AWAY TO BLACKNESS, a void beyond the Randall-tooth and The couple. “Hello again.” A DISEMBODIED VOICE, both in the room and in Will's head:

“Come closer.” Will takes a step closer, but evidently not close enough. “Closer. I want to see you.” the Randall-tooth's face, the freakish maw, into the eyes as they OPEN. He reacts to a heavy sound, something is moving in the darkness around him. An unseen beast's FOOTSTEPS circle him.”Can you see you?”

“Clearer and clearer. You forced me to kill you.”

“I didn't force you to enjoy it. She made me a monument.’ Will moves around the Randall-tooth, movement in the shadows opposite whatever is circling, tracking his movements. it is Randall Tier (no mauling suit), naked, primal, in the shadows, a haunting silhouette. “You're welcome.”

“The monument is not to me. It's to you. This is pride.”

“She gave you what you want. This is who you are. What you feel finally matches the reality of what She see’s.”

“This is my becoming.” Randall Tier finally steps out of the shadows, revealing mandible-like tusks hang where his jaw should be. A nightmare inverse of the Randall-tooth, in human form. “And yours.” Will shakes his head, this is not his becoming. “This is Our design.’

The lights are once more bright on the crime scene. Jack and Hannibal step INTO FOCUS behind Them, like the angel and devil on their shoulders. We are back --

Will turns to Jack and Hannibal. “He knew his killer. There is a familiarity here. It was someone

who met him, understood him. It was someone like him. Different pathology, same instinct.”

“His killer empathized with him?”

“You mistake empathy for understanding, Jack. If there's anything, it's envy.” I say softly, i finally turn around to face them. “Envy?’

“Randall Tier came into his own much easier than whoever killed him.”

“This is a fledgling killer. He's never killed before, not like this.” Hannibal says, no Will has never killed like this. “No, not like this. This is the nightmare that followed him out of his dreams.” Hannibal inscrutably fascinated with his subject --

HANNIBAL LECTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT-

Hannibal sits still in the chair as Will Graham moves around him, picking things up, putting them down. Amped somehow. An athlete after the race, adrenalin still coursing his system. Y/N sits in the chair across from the man. She looks different, not physically but her demeanor and aura is different. She’s in more control, no longer helpless. Finally the true color of the butterfly had been revealed. “You're playing a dangerous game.”

“We once caught a killer who went to his victims' funerals just so he could console their loved ones.”

“Jack Crawford is no grieving widow. Not so long ago, we were both suspects for crimes just like this.” Will turns to Hannibal: “That's why I can't be a suspect this time. Or you. When you framed Chilton, you exonerated me and yourself. He was the broom that swept our tracks.” Hannibal does not react to this. Instead: “Why didn't you  dispose of the body? It was the prudent course.”

“Randall deserved to be seen.” I cross my legs, if my Heels didnt have redbottoms, they’d be red with blood.  “Randall, or you and Will’s work on him?” Hannibal says softly, I smile. Its not sweet anymore its predatory, one that could rival Hannibal’s.  “You called it "artistry." Is that how you see your own efforts?” Will says as his hands grace my shoulders.

“I also called it "savagery." You mutilated the body. Displayed it.” Hannibal says as he observes us. “The Butterfly has left the cocoon, Dr. Lecter. Spreading her wings.” I say softly, poised. 

“A newly fledged Butterfly is at his most vulnerable. she can fly, but she has to learn to hunt.” Hannibal tilts his head in observation.

“And they learn via imitation. There is a mantra in medical tuition you must know: watch one,

do one, teach one. I've seen plenty, Dr. Lecter.” Will says as he brushes my hair to one side. Hannibal doesn't answer to that. Instead: “How did it feel? To manipulate what was a living man into a message all of your own.”

“Like I wasn't finished till I had.” I say as Will fixes the zipper of my dress. Pulling it up all the way. Hannibal absorbs this. “Did you take a trophy too, Will?”

“A memento of my first rodeo? What do you think?” 

“I think it would be the act of a serial killer.”  Hannibal fixes his gaze on the way the couple are so openly intimate in front of him. No longer shy. “By definition, one body doesn't make me a serial killer.”

FREDDIE LOUNDS'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY-

Freddie now sits at the table, opposite Will, checking her recorder as Will scans the wall. ”I raised the ante on my publishing deal. There's been movie interest. Hollywood is a fine place for the obnoxious and wealthy.’ Freddie smirks, she loves the future she thinks she will behold. “You're not wealthy, Freddie.”

“I will be. I'm a pariah among journalists because I took a different faith. But I'm putting that faith in you.” Will finally sits at the table and she presses "record." “Let's talk Chesapeake Ripper. Frederick Chilton. Who knew?”

“Who knew.”

“No one did. Nobody would. Not even you. You were so certain the Chesapeake Ripper was Hannibal Lecter, you tried to kill him.” Will takes that in stride, calmly correcting her: “You neglected to say "allegedly."”

“No, I didn't. Dr. Lecter's your psychiatrist again. What's up with that?”

“I was wrong about him. That's what's up with that.”

“Maybe you were. Maybe you weren't.”

“Chilton was the Chesapeake Ripper.”

“The Chesapeake Ripper had surgical skills Frederick Chilton did not.”

“They have the same profile.”

“Except Dr. Chilton was a woeful surgeon. Dangerous, even. I've been chatting with his old medical school chums. They say he fled to psychiatry to avoid embarrassment.” Will stares at her, considering her, then: “My story with the Chesapeake Ripper already has an ending, Freddie.”

“Mine doesn't. Do you really think Dr. Chilton killed Abigail Hobbs? I don't. Even if I let this story go, I'll never let that go.” 

“Trust me, Freddie. Neither will I.”

“It's too bad Dr. Chilton was shot in the face. He's not exactly in the position to defend himself.

Yet somehow, here you are in the position to defend Hannibal Lecter.” Freddie studies Will, curious what he's hiding…

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

A KNOCKING at the door. Move through the house with Will and Y/N to find –  MARGOT VERGER At the door. She looks gorgeous, demure and softer than usual. Will smiles and lets her in. She waves a bottle of whiskey. “I've come to replenish your stores.”

I watch the woman walk into our home. We sit by the fire, drinking the whiskey. “Reasoning makes us human, but questioning the nature of our humanity makes us miserable.” Margot says, taking a sip of her whiskey.

“I'll drink to that.” I smirk, the whiskey blushes my skin. “What happened to your window?” She tilts her head. “A stag got lost in the storm. Came through the window. Got a few scratches getting him out.” Will says, we both know its not true.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - NIGHT-

Margot left. with the way she kept looking Will up and down made me question if she truly didnt have a proclivity for his parts. I go into me and Will's shared bedroom. I need him. savagely, delicately, lovingly.....i just need him. Watching the Kill of the previous night had riled me up. Once he's in the room I begin to unbutton my blouse and Will gently takes my hands and stops me.

He then starts to unbutton my blouse himself, removing it, revealing an old scar across My bicep. Below it, other scars blemish my skin. “Who did this to you?”

“My Mother.” I say softly, As Will runs his fingers over her scars, I unbutton his shirt, revealing the raw, red gouges from Randall Tier's claws. My hand moves across his chest to the jagged button scar where Jack Crawford shot him.

My hand slides down to the waist of his pants. He takes my wrist, stopping me, then slowly pulls me toward the bed. I feel myself becoming warm. Our lips graze not yet enveloping the others kiss. His arms wrap around me and he kisses me, hard.

I pull his body down on mine, feeling the heat of his skin. I run my hand over the rough stubble on his face. I look up at him, his blue eyes are staring deep into mine. They're so beautiful, and right now, they're filled with desire. I bite his bottom lip, pulling his mouth down to meet mine.

His tongue finds it's way into my mouth. His kisses move down my neck, then to the tops of my breasts. I run my fingers through his hair and pull his mouth to my nipple. I've always had larger breasts. Will begins sucking and nipping at them, causing a soft moan to escape from my lips.

My nipples harden under his touch, sending a surge of warmth straight to my pussy. He slides his hands down to the waistband of my Slacks, unbuttons and unzips them. I lift my hips as he slowly pulls them off. The cool air feels good on my heated skin.

He pulls his pants off and I can see the outline of his cock in his boxers. It's already hard and waiting for me. I can't wait any longer. I slide my hand into his boxers, taking his cock in my hand. He's not a large man, but he's well endowed and he knows how to use what he's been blessed with. I pump him a few times before he pulls my hand out.

He growls against my lips and kisses me again. Then he moves back to my nipples, giving each one a quick tug before kissing his way down to my panties. I'm soaked already. he hooks his finger on the side of my panties and slides them off. He looks down at me, naked, lying in his bed.

"So beautiful."

He lays between my legs, kissing and nipping at the inside of my thighs. His hands gripping my hips at a bruising grip. My pussy is aching for his touch. He teases me, moving closer and closer to my cunt, then moving back. He places my leg over his shoulder, spreading me wide. He looks up at me, a wicked grin on his face, before sliding his tongue between my folds.

A moan escapes my lips and my back arches off the bed as his tongue enters me. His tongue explores, moving up and down, teasing my clit, then plunging deep into my cunt. I'm squirming under him, moaning, begging for more. He places a finger at my entrance, then slowly inserts it.

He moves it in and out a few times, then adds another finger. He begins pumping them in and out as he sucks on my clit. My pussy tightens around his long fingers and I can feel myself getting close. "Fuck...Will," I moan, "I'm gonna-"

Before I can finish, my orgasm hits, causing my whole body to shudder. He slows down, bringing me down from my climax, then removes his fingers. He looks up at me, my wetness on his chin. He wipes it away, then crawls up next to me, pulling me into his arms.

I place my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat. He's still hard and throbbing. I want to take care of him. I kiss his neck, and work my way down his chest, kissing and sucking. Leaving lovely bruises. I continue downward, kissing his hip bones, then taking his cock in my hand.

I look up at him, his blue eyes are hooded with desire. I slowly lick the tip, tasting the precum, then take him in my mouth. I bob up and down on him, taking him as deep as I can. I swirl my tongue around the head, then take him back in. I never take my eyes off him. The etheral being that he was deserved to be worshipped. Though i’m sure he’d say the same about me. 

"Baby." He groans. I look up at him, his hand in my hair. "You're gonna make me cum."

I keep going, picking up the pace, wanting him to cum. I love the feeling of his cock in my mouth, his taste. His breath quickens and his grip on my hair tightens.

"Fuck." He pulls me off quickly. "I want to cum inside of you."

I move back up to him, kissing him, letting him taste himself on my tongue. He rolls over, laying me on my back. He spreads my legs, settling between them. He rubs the head of his cock along my slit, then slowly pushes in.

We both let out a moan. He feels so good inside me. He starts slow, then picks up the pace.

He leans down and kisses me, hard. "God, baby, you're so fucking wet."

"It's all for you, Will."

He starts thrusting harder and faster, hitting the spot deep inside that drives me crazy. I wrap my legs around him, pulling him deeper. My nails dig into his back "Oh god, Will...fuck me."

"I'm not going to last much longer, baby. I'm so close."

"I want you to cum inside me, Will. I want to feel you."

Will thrusts harder, hitting that spot with every stroke. My pussy tightens and I feel another orgasm building.

"Oh god...Will, I'm gonna cum."

"That's it, baby, cum for me."

I cum hard, moaning his name. He thrusts a few more times, then I feel him cum deep inside me.

We lay there, panting, for a few minutes, then he pulls out and lays next to me. He pulls me into his arms, holding me close. I listen to his heartbeat slow, and feel his breath even out. I look up at him. His eyes are closed and a small smile is playing on his lips.

He opens his eyes, looking at me. He leans down and kisses me softly. "I love you, Y/N." I kiss him back, "I love you too, Will."

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - DAY-

Freddie Lounds exiting her car with a bag. Will's house in the background.

Freddie stands on Will's veranda, peers through the door. Can see THE DOGS, but no Will Graham.  She KNOCKS again. She tries the door, pushes. It doesn't open. Freddie moves off the veranda, peers through windows. Looks under the house. An opportunity she may not get again.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - SHED - DAY-

Freddie Lounds now stands in front of the large doors. A hefty PADLOCK on the bolt. She pulls LOCK PICKS from her bag and deftly starts to work the lock. THE LOCK PICK slides into the lock with a TENSION WRENCH. INSIDE THE KEYWAY the lock pick maneuvers around WARDS. THE LOCK PINS are adjusted into position. THE LOCK turns.

Light floods in as the doors open and Freddie Lounds steps in, silhouetted against the light behind. She moves into the shed, bag over her shoulder. Old carpentry wood, a stack of firewood logs, boxes of ancient fishing tackle. Ancient machinery. And RANDALL TIER'S

MAULING SUIT. It hangs like a skinned animal from a beam. Without thinking, Freddie absently pulls out her camera and takes a few pictures. In the BURST OF LIGHT from her flash, Freddie notices something. 

She studies the bones closer. The bear skull glowering at her, the claws hang on either

side, bloody and stained. She glances around the room and continues taking pictures of every detail of the space. AN INDUSTRIAL FREEZER Freddie examines the lock and retrieves her lock pick kit.

INSIDE THE FREEZER A DOZEN PAPER-WRAPPED FISH fill the freezer. A HORSESHOESHAPED PAPER-WRAPPED FISH catches Freddie's eye. Unlike the other fish, it's in a plastic bag. Freddie opens the bag and retrieves the horseshoe-wrapped fish, unwrapping it and revealing it is a HUMAN JAW. The DOOR OPENS BEHIND HER, flooding the room with light. Freddie startles, turning to see Y/N silhouetted behind her.

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - SHED - DAY-

Freddie stares at Y/N in horror as he calmly closes the door behind him, blocking her way out. Freddie goes for the revolver in her bag. Pulls it free, points. “There really is a very good explanation for all of this.”

“I don't want to hear it.” Y/N takes a menacing step closer. “You're not the least bit curious?”

“Get away from the door.”

“I can't let you go, Freddie. Not without hearing what I have to say.” takes another step  “I know you're scared. Only have to be scared just a little bit longer.” raises her hand “Give me the gun.”

She takes a final step and Freddie FIRES. BANG. The bullet raises SPLINTERS off the wall, narrowly missing Y/N. Will BARGES IN AND CHARGES, violently slamming into Freddie.

BANG-BANG-BANG, Freddie keeps firing until Will wrenches the gun from her hand. She chops her foot hard down his instep and scrambles away. Will bolts after her, slamming into the

wall as he slips on the cold floor. Freddie is nearly to the door as Will grabs her by the back

of the head, snatching a fistful of red hair. Y/N just observes. Watches with a smile. 

Freddie's hand comes from her bag with PEPPER SPRAY. She blasts Will with it. Will lets go of her, hands to his eyes...

WILL GRAHAM'S HOUSE - SHED - DAY-

As she comes bursting from the shed. Running for her life. Toward her car. Cell phone in one hand. Freddie CLICKS her keys and the car opens and she dives inside. TIGHT ON FREDDIE trying to control her panic as she CLICKS the doors locked. Her cell phone to her ear as she starts the car as we hear her call get connected --

“Jack Crawford.” BEEP. “Ja-AHHHHHH.” SMASH!

The side window bursts inward at Freddie, spraying broken glass and revealing Will swinging an IRON BAR. Freddie SCREAMS as she is YANKED violently out of the car. PAN DOWN from Freddie, as she's dragged screaming from the car, to the cell phone, call timer counting the seconds… FREDDIE'S SCREAMING

BAU - JACK CRAWFORD'S OFFICE - DAY-

As Jack Crawford plays the recorded message for Alana, Y/N, Hannibal and Will.

They listen grimly to the sound of ragged breath, the car door, the smash and then the scream.

“Freddie Lounds left this message for me three hours ago. Her cell signal's dead now. Last call was traced to the nearest phone tower.”  looks to Will “In Wolf Trap, Virginia. We have her on security cameras at a gas station, filling her car. Six miles from your farm.” 

“Freddie was supposed to interview me. She never showed up.” Will is gazing at Y/N. Alana is looking at Will closely. Hannibal is watching Alana. “Why are you granting interviews to Freddie Lounds?” Jack furrows his brows. “I owed her one.”

“Surely, Freddie Lounds has more enemies than Will.” I say with a oblivious enough look. “Not in Wolf Trap, Virginia.”

“I live in the middle of nowhere, Jack. If someone wanted to take her, it'd be a good place to do it.’ Alana looks at Will and Hannibal. Decides she has to speak. “Freddie was investigating a story about Will and Hannibal committing murders together. There's no reason to believe her, but someone believed Freddie was a threat.” Alana truly wondering what she believes --

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT-

Will Graham is organizing our groceries on the counter as Hannibal looks on. Onions, assorted bell peppers, garlic cloves, tomatoes, potatoes and ginger are ready for prep. “We provide the ingredients, you tell us what we should do with them.” Hannibals eyes trail to Me. Like he knows something we dont. But what? 

“What's the meat?” Hannibal asks as he turns his eyes back to Will. “What do you think?” I ask softly with a smirk.  Hannibal smiles at that. Cuts the string and unrolls the paper to reveal a LOIN OF MEAT. Long and slim. He bends and smells it. Hannibal looks up at Y/N with a smile. Because he knows what this is. He looks proud. “Red meat, but only just. Veal? Pork, perhaps?”

“She was a slim and delicate pig.” Will says, he kisses my cheek. And oh was she delightful to kill.  “I'll make you a pork lomo saltado. We'll make it together.” Hannibal hands Will a knife and nods to the chopping board. Will grabs the ginger root among the ingredients.

“You slice the ginger.” Hannibal looks at Y/N closely now. Intent.

HANNIBAL LECTER'S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT-

Will, Y/N and Hannibal at the table -- beautifully-presented plates before them. Hannibal smiles, watches Will as he raises a forkful of the meat and eats it. Hannibal is satisfied. Takes a mouthful himself and savors it. He knows the flavor. No hiding it. He looks at the Couple.

“The meat has an interesting flavor. It's bracing. Notes of citrus.” Will savors the flavors of the dish. “My palate isn't as refined as yours.”

“Apart from humane considerations, it's more flavorful for animals to be stress-free prior to slaughter. This animal tastes frightened.” Hannibal says knowingly, I savor the euphoric taste of the meat. This time its a choice i’ve made. Not one made for me. And I relish with the thoughs of who its Supposed to be.

Will quirks an eyebrow. “What does "frightened" taste like?”

“It's acidic.” 

“The meat is bitter about being dead.” I say with a playful smirk. Hannibal is amused by that notion. “This meat isn't pork.” I shake my head.  “It's long pig.” Will takes a bite. Hannibal watches him intently, proud.

“You can't reduce me to a set of influences. I'm not the product of anything. I've given up good and evil for behaviorism.” Will says,”I’ve inheirently never had behaviorism for good and evil, I was raised that way. Mommy’s little Grave digger….” I quip with distaste for my mother. 

“Then you can't say that I'm evil.”

“You're destructive. Same thing.”

“Evil's just destructive? Storms are evil, if it's that simple. And we have fire, and then there's hail. Underwriters lump it all under "Acts of God." Is this meal an act of God?” Hannibal takes a final bite

[shreddeddescent]

Oh don't apologize about writing this, we are literally reading it too! I find the story interesting and like, yeah it is fucked up, but I'm having fun reading it too 💪💪💪

Also, how does Mikey feel about all this? I was thinking about that because he likes to deny the has 'adult problems' like you said, so I am really wondering about how he's dealing with all that is happening

🌠👾

ughhhh god...... the mikey can of worms about this specifically is exactly what that was about and whats been really tough to talk about. like this specific scene was what i had to get up and walk away from cuz it was painful.

he's not okay. he also doesnt care about it, cuz hes like... ugh you know what. i think i should actually just share this whole thing i wrote about it. this one is rough. nothing graphic, but if you wanna see how fucking not okay this kid is despite how much he's pretending he can be? yeah. hes gonna talk about his bullshit for the first time ever, and something bad had happened to mikey before. and he doesnt even know what.

which is like where i think the whole climax of this arch is going in my head. i havent written it all out yet. im being tugged along on a journey, yknow.

warnings for csa and incest and like. very poor coping mechanisms. all of it this one hurt me personally the most in the end.

theres some implications of things going on in the background, cuz at this exact moment none of the characters have been coping well hence the fucking.... need for these adults. raph needed to be alone to spiral about the 3 kids by himself, leo needed to be put to bed (by mikey) cuz he got way too high after realizing how much he'd been personally juggling everybody else, and donnie wont mind his buisness about anything, mikey had a go at him about it which resulted in him trying to help mikey with his current 'im having traumatic sex dreams' problem. but donnie is the same age and wasnt gonna be able to help much.

if any of it sounds confusing im sorry. id try and do a whole. fic thing about it but i really dont know if i can. whats important here is the mikey part. cuz this is where it all came to a head.

also mentions of lita, whos raph's little alter. the one that was only ever around for shredder. until recently

--

Mikey was glad that Donnie seemed better when he left the bathroom. He seemed to have been spiralling about whatever was going on between Leo and Raph.

He was pretty sure the idea of sex repulsed his twin, despite his attempts to explain it to him. He was a good brother. But it really wasn’t worth worrying about if Raph and Leo needed to be away from each other. It was weird he cared.

Donnie cared about too many fucking things.

Mikey had spent an extra long time in the bathroom, thinking over if he felt any attraction like Donnie said. He’d thought about exploring his body, but the idea reminded him of Raph. He really didn’t want it to but it did. The first time he’d seen his own penis was when it was forced into his sleeping brother.

His brother who felt like his mom.

It fucking broke something inside of him. He was trying like hell to be the baby Raph needed, to be okay for him, so he wouldn’t make Raph worse. But in the back of his mind he did know he wasn’t okay. And maybe he was just age regressing to cope. Maybe he was only getting angry at everyone cuz he couldn’t help the age regressing.

It was easy to feel like a baby when you were so malnourished as a child that you looked way younger than you should. Father had seen to that. He didn’t take care of him and then blamed Raph for his condition. And maybe he just didn’t want Raph to feel bad about it anymore.

And he had recently remembered.. something. Childhood Raph who wasn’t Raph. Raph leaving crying, coming back Lita and not crying. And… Lita apologizing for something.

The rest was a mystery. A mystery he’d thought he might be able to uncover in therapy with Big Mama, but now?! Now there was this whole… situation!

So he was just sitting with Donnie quietly, watching dumb shit on YouTube. Ignoring his feelings.

They’d seen Leo very not so subtly leave his room. He still stunk. He walked funny and airheaded, but as long as he wasn’t gonna bother Raph, who cared where he went.

…Mikey cared a little. And he was the only one who saw how much weed he’d smoked.

So after about 5 minutes he sighed and felt the need to get up and see if he could find him.

He went out in his red hoodie and some fresh sweatpants, it was night time and maybe he went outside.

He wandered the hall and felt that vertigo feeling again. He hated it, he didn't feel present. Made him think of the drugs from the cages. The drugs he’d been extra pumped full of for being good at fighting them off. That made it worse.

He rested against the wall for a moment and rubbed his eyes.

“Hey, little man.”

He blinked and looked up. It wasn’t Leo.

Jennika was there, in a loose white shirt and cargo pants. She got down into a squat in front of him and smiled.

“Are you okay?”

He felt like maybe he was standing on a fault line.

“Sorry… I’m kinda queasy…” he mumbled.

She eyed the place he was standing and gently gripped his shoulders, tugging him about 3 feet to the left.

The feeling faded and he sighed out in relief.

“Better?”

“Yeah..” he took a deep breath and stood up straight, smiling at her. “You’re…. I know who you are now.”

She stood at her full height and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Yeah… sorry I was uh… lying before. I guess I wasn’t really lying? But you know.”

He nodded slowly and smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to find you. You seemed kinda.. not okay?”

Mikey laughed and shook his head. “Nah! I’m good! I’m fine, I’m just looking for Leo, he’s the one who’s not good.”

“Leo’s alright. I saw him earlier. Kirby’s kinda.. talking him down from his high I think.”

“Oh! Wow! Kirby’s talking to Leo?” He smiled up at her, that was exciting. He knew Leo seemed upset about being ignored by his…. Son. “That’s good. I think that’s good for him.”

She nodded and held out her hand. “Do you wanna walk somewhere? These walls are so… migraine city.”

Mikey looked up at her curiously and beamed. “Sure!” He took her hand and squeezed it softly.

She squeezed back and they walked to the elevator together. He noticed when she was inside there were more buttons and she pushed one.

She seemed a little shy so he tugged on her arm. She looked down at him curiously.

“Can I call you Jenny? Or is Jennika better?”

“You can call me whatever you want, I don’t mind.”

“Raph said you're trans like him. So that means you probably chose your own name, right? I mean... he didn’t. Cuz he’s.. his situation’s weird, but am I right?”

She blinked and smiled softly.

“Yeah.. I did. Is it… a cool name?”

“Yeah! So if you chose it that makes it extra important, so I wanna make sure I say it how you want it said. Jen-nick-kah. I like it!”

She took in an audibly shaky breath and looked back at the buttons.

“Th…thanks Mikey…”

He squeezed her hand.

“I uh… I don’t think you’re looking at me for like… ugh.. dad approval. But like, you seem cool.”

She smiled and laughed a little. “No, I’m definitely not, but thanks. I feel a little.. weird to be honest. But I hope we can clear the air?”

He smiled up at her genuinely and nodded. “I’d like that.”

The elevator doors opened into a lobby Mikey hadn’t seen before. They’d been portaled from the city straight into Big Mama’s office. This was an actual entrance.

And… it was a button they got blocked from pressing? He’d need to think about that later.

Jennika walked with him out of the building and Mikey came into contact with a whole other world. They were in a courtyard of sorts, a city street across from them. The sky was pitch black, because it wasn’t a sky, it was high dark cave walls that stretched beyond what he could see. There were floating crystals for street lamps lighting the streets.

The streets were full of yokai, going about their days. Shopping at storefronts of magic and mundane. It seemed busy. It seemed normal.

He stopped in his tracks and Jennika turned to look at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

“W-where…” He kept staring over at the street. There were weird chariots for cars, and creatures flying above his head.

This wasn’t New York City. 

She seemed to realize what was wrong and her eyes widened. “Oh! You’ve.. never been to the Hidden City. Oh shit. This was stupid Kirby’s gonna kill me.”

Mikey stumbled back into a fountain in the courtyard and sat on it. He looked behind him and he could see the exterior of the hotel for the first time.

A skyscraper that existed underground, he couldn’t even see the top because of how dark it was up there.

He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths.

“Mikey are you okay?!” She sat down beside him and put her hand on his shell.

“I… yeah.. it’s just a lot…” he didn’t open his eyes but he did lean into her. “I don’t get out much, I guess. I’d be more excited if it hadn’t been… a day.”

He might have been letting his very well crafted facade slip.

She rubbed his shell. “I just thought we could go get some ice cream and talk it out. I thought maybe the hotel was a dumb place to talk, but maybe that’s my bad… I didn’t think about how weird this would be, I’m sorry.”

He looked up at her. She looked anxious and guilty.

So he thought about what she’d just asked and blinked up at her.

“Hidden city has ice cream? Like somewhere I could try every flavour? Cuz we fit in down here?!” He asked excitedly.

Her eyes widened and she beamed. “Yeah! That’s exactly what I was tryina do!”

He jumped up and tugged her arm.

“Show me! Show me show me!”

She grinned and stood up, jogging with him down the street.

He was laughing as they ran goofily down the street. People were staring but not because they were freaks, just cuz they were having fun.

They found a storefront for ice cream and there was a many armed person at the till. Jennika boldly asked for two samples of every flavour and it earned a very annoyed look from the clerk. She slid some kind of hidden city money over with an apologetic smile to make it worth their time which cheered them up.

There was some weird flavours in there he’d never heard of. Some sounded like fruits that didn’t exist, others were weirdly goopy or fleshy in nature. One even made them breathe fire, it was fun. They had a laugh.

By the time they’d tried everything Mikey was given some kind of mix of 5 flavours in a bowl with a spoon, and Jennika got the same.

So they walked down the street eating ice cream together. Like they were normal people having a normal outing.

It was so weird how normal it felt.

She showed him a park to walk through, the trees and plants were purple instead of green which was cool.

They sat down at a bench facing a glowing green lake to sit and eat. It was peaceful. He liked it.

“So how are you?” She finally asked, scooping ice cream in her mouth.

“Kinda confused. You’re really nice and cool, but like… you’re.. you know. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel… like, I feel kinda silly? But also.. feel kinda bad?” He was squishing the ice cream together, mixing the colours absentmindedly in the bowl.

She hummed and swallowed back her current bite, placing the bowl down beside her. “I can tell you how I see it. Which is that you’re like.. a brother. Like I know where I come from, but you’re just a kid, and you’re a kid on your own and that makes me sad, and I feel like I’m standing right here in front of you with like.. I dunno, open ears. No that’s not the phrase..” she tapped her chin as she tried to think.

Mikey looked up at her curiously. “Open arms?”

She snapped her fingers and grinned down at him. “Yeah! Open arms. I know it’s weird. I'm not trying to make you feel weird, I just wanna listen if you need someone.”

He looked down at his bowl and took a small bite. He wasn’t sure how well some of this went together but he liked it all the same. A big fucked up hodgepodge of deliciousness.

“I… don’t want you to feel weird. Maybe I’m hoping we’re just gonna be a big family with ease and nobodies gonna have any problems anymore and I can just be normal and not worry anymore.”

She smiled sadly and bumped his arm with hers.

“I’d like to be a family like that, but I think it won’t be so easy. And that’s okay. I wanna put work in, we all do. I think it’s worth a try, and I’m kinda old enough that I can handle whatever you wanna throw at me.”

He glared at the lake with a tired look in his eye. “Just cuz you’re old doesn’t make you able to handle stuff. Old people never handle stuff good as far as I’ve seen. I guess that’s not fair… I just think I’ve seen my brothers get hurt over and over cuz people don’t care how they come off to us. Cuz Shredder treated us like animals, and Splinter…” he sighed. That was a whole can of worms. “She’s old, and yet she felt more emotionally stupid than everybody else. Than her own kids.”

He blinked and realized he’d been talking a bunch and looked up at her. She was just watching him with a sad look.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Thanks for the ice cream, it's good!” He put his happy voice back on and shoved more in his mouth. He thought about how much he could fit at once before swallowing so he took bigger bites. 

“I’m… sorry your mom wasn’t good to you. I’m extra sorry your dad was…” she sighed. “I guess adults really let you down a lot. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged and swallowed back his huge mouthful of ice cream. And then he felt the brain freeze and cupped his head. “Auuuugh there it is! Brain freeze!”

She hummed a laugh and rubbed his shell. “You’re trying to avoid talking. You wanna seem like a happy normal kid don’t you? You’re putting on an act.”

That hurt more than the brain freeze.

He groaned and kept holding his head as it passed, she was holding him to distract from the hurt in his brain.

“How do you know I’m acting! Maybe I’m just immature!”

“Maybe. But maybe you know you’re hurting and you don’t wanna make it my problem for some reason.”

He furrowed his brow and looked away.

“Is it cuz you think I’m like your kid? Cuz really… I really don’t see me like that Mikey…”

“No, it’s not that..” he sighed. He wasn’t sure what it was. He’d been able to talk to Donnie, he’d wanted to talk to Leo. But Jennika was actually asking him how he felt and he could only sit there thinking of ways to seem like he was a baby again. Ways to try and seem normal, like a good kid brother who makes her want to take care of him normally, so he wouldn’t scare her off, or traumatize her!

Oh…

“It’s cuz you make me think of Raph…”

She took a deep breath and nodded knowingly, sighing.

“You don’t talk to him about how you feel. You just go baby made. So you wanna do that with me too.”

“I’m sorry… I’ve got issues. People think I don’t but…” he sighed. “I don’t know..”

She patted his back. “I'm not Raph. I’m not your mom. I’m your cooool big sister! And I know you’ve got issues, I’m open, I’m here. Hit me.”

He looked up at her nervously.

“I…” he looked around. It was really empty here. He decided to lay his head in her lap. “Is this okay..?”

He felt her hand gently stroke his head. “Yeah, that’s okay..”

He took a few deep breaths. “I keep thinking about the cages… about.. what happened. I’m really embarrassed about it, and ashamed of myself… it’s stupid cuz I know it’s not my fault, but the.. specifics of what hurt me was all related to this..” he sighed and closed his eyes. “Weird relationship I have with him, where I try to let him be my mom cuz I never had one. And maybe it’s cuz he’s female and I imprinted on him as a baby, or maybe it’s just cuz I was so small and he was so worried about me.. but the… the mixing of these two things in my head, the 'mama Raph' and the fact I….” He felt tears rolling down his cheeks and he sobbed audibly. It was getting uncontrollable.

She just rubbed his head. He heard her sniff but didn’t look up. He just let her pet him and tried to collect himself.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t… know what to do, I know you’re not… but I’d never even seen my body before my dad made me use it against my will, a-and so I’m just.. b-back to baby mode, h-hoping I never grow up and have to think about it again…”

“God… Mikey I’m fucking sorry, that sounds like so much…” she was probably crying but kept petting him. He wasn’t sure how to respond now. “I… I think it sounds like you know you shouldn’t do that. That you’re like… pushing stuff down to make yourself seem okay. I think maybe you wanna be worried about normally just so you feel normal, maybe that’s why you’re acting like that…” he chanced a look up at her. She might have looked like him, but the way she was crying over him made her look like Raph. So he was crying in her lap quietly.

He looked away and clutched the fabric of her pants. “I’m.. not trying to act out… I just really don’t want these grown up problems, I-I wanna worry about stupid stuff, n-not wake up with my thing out cuz I h-had a nightmare…”

She took a deep shaky breath and blew it out slowly. “We don’t get to choose to not grow up. I know why you want to? But look at me. If I could have stayed a kid forever I probably would have. I hated puberty. Being a grown up sucks. But you can’t stop it. And you’ve gotten forced into the worst thing, but it doesn’t make you grown up, it just.. means you have to deal with something complicated. I... think ignoring that kinda problem won’t make it go away, and if you need to talk to someone about.. all that gross complicated stuff you’re scared of, I’m here. I’ve had lots of weird feelings over the years, going from like.. weapon to person, boy to girl.. you can tell me more if you want. Maybe I’ll get it.”

Mikey sat up and wiped his eyes. “I.. I haven’t even been asking about you, I’m so sorry Jennika…”

She smiled sadly and draped her arm over his shoulder, pulling him close and giving him a gentle shake. “No, it’s fine! You’re having a bad day. I wanna help with that, don’t worry about me at all.”

He looked up at her sadly, pressing his head against her chest.

“I-it’s weird.. if I’m not your dad, that probably means Raph’s not your mom right..?”

She sighed and looked at the lake. “No… he’s not. It’s kinda complicated, cuz there’s a piece of my heart that still.. I dunno, craves a mom? So that’s why I was so weird when he called me beautiful… but he’s not, he’s my brother just like you are.”

He looked over at the lake. “Is it weird that I think of him as my mom..?”

“No… Not at all, I get it. He’s been your caretaker, and he likes doing that.”

Mikey nodded slowly. “Then.. you get why its… fucking with my head that I’ll dream about the cage, and wake up like that.. why I feel sick to my stomach about it…”

“God, yeah I get that… I would be scared.”

“And I can’t cry to him about it, cuz it’s about him…”

She nodded slowly. “And that would make it worse.. yeah. I’m sorry Mikey…” she rubbed his shoulder. “Okay.. so this will be weird no matter what, but like.. you had the bird and bees talk? And any other talks about your body and stuff..?”

He looked up at her and shrugged sadly. “How much talk needed? We already made you.. think I get where babies come from…”

She looked down at him sadly and then gently rubbed his head. “Oh.. buddy that doesn’t mean you know everything. Did Splinter never…?”

He looked away. “Maybe she tried. Maybe I ran away. I don’t know, I don’t remember…”

She nodded and kept rubbing his head. “Okay. Let’s jump past babies and stuff. I think what you’re describing is like a sex dream, and it’s one you’re having cuz you got forced into it. A trauma dream, making you relive the only time you’ve ever felt arousal. You can’t control it, it's not your fault, it’s a natural response. It doesn’t mean you actually feel aroused by Raph, that you actually want him like that. It’s… ugh I’m sorry. Consent is a better place to maybe start this. Consent and body autonomy and finding a partner you trust…?” She shifted a little.

He looked up. She seemed a little frustrated that she couldn’t find the words.

He sighed and idly squeezed her knee. “I know what you’re trying to say. That I was raped. That I raped Raph but I didn’t, that he raped me but he didnt… dad raped us. Used us to rape each other. I… I know that.”

She looked down at him sadly, clearly sad about how much he was using the word. But he should be allowed to say it over and over again!

“Yeah…”

“I’m too young for sex. I don’t want a sex partner or whatever. I don’t want to have to worry about that, but I’m scared that I’m…” he keeled over and started crying out of nowhere. “I-I think maybe when I was little dad raped me too..? W-when Lita.. I-I can’t remember it… sh-she said I saw something I w-wasn’t supposed to… sh-she seemed so fucking sorry… a-and that’s all I’ve been thinking about for a week… a-and nobody cares!”

Jennika gently shook him and she was crying too. “I care! Fuck Mikey I care so much, I’m so fucking sorry!”

“E-everyone’s been tiptoeing around it! L-like around Raph! A-and maybe I wanted to go to therapy and talk about it! T-talk to Lita! Get more information! B-but there was the… th-the YOU situation! A-and he was traumatized enough! A-and now Big Mama is evil and I-I can’t!”

She took a deep shaky break and wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in her lap for a hug. He let her as he sobbed against her chest. “We don’t need her to do that. We can figure it out without her, we can find ways of dealing with it. God Mikey you’ve been so fucking… I’m sorry. Everything is so fucked up but I fucking promise you that’s my priority okay? We’re gonna help you with that.”

Mikey was clinging to her shirt and sobbing into it. He nodded miserably as he cried. “I-I’m sorry.. I-I keep forgetting t-to bring it up c-cuz I only I-learned about it when y-you were b-born! B-but that was like a week ago! A-and that’s its whole own thing! A-and I’m too fucked up t-to think about it!”

She held him tight and pressed her head against his.

“Fuck… you’ve been keeping so much in there…” She pulled back to cup his cheeks in her hands and smile determined at him, tears still freely falling down her face. He sniffled and shook as he looked back at her. “You don’t need to worry about any of this other stuff. No villains no brothers no fucking weird turtles coming back from the future. Your priority is Mikey. And so’s mine. We’re gonna figure it out. You and me. We’re gonna talk it out one step at a time together. Anything you fucking need I’m here, okay?”

He put his hands on hers, he was struggling to breathe through the crying. This wasn’t his usual crying, he felt fucking broken. His whole body hurt from how hard he was crying.

And it felt good. To fucking scream and yell and cry about how miserable he REALLY was, and to feel seen for it. To feel cared for about it.

So he shakily nodded and kept crying in her face.

She held him again. This wasn’t like how Raph would make him feel at all, this wasn’t a mom thing. This wasn’t a ‘push my feelings down and pretend you’re normal’ upset thing. This was just a sibling really fucking seeing him and letting him be as big of a wreck as he needed. Someone he wasn’t scared of making the problems worse of.

Maybe she was exactly what he needed right now.

[sibylsleaves]

Not only do buck/eddie and sometimes chris have a big moment in every premiere but also almost every premiere ties back to the finale in some way. S2 - you can have my back anyday/you can have mine after the bomb in the ambulance. Then the bomb blowing up the fire truck and eddie having buck’s back while he was trapped and buck having eddie’s back by insisting on going to his probie grad ceremony. S3 - the tie in with madney saying are we the only people we know without kids … buck + eddie showing up at the loft. Then the finale showing buck being concerned about chris going to camp. Also some tie in with abby meeting someone she would do anything for, who has kids and is becoming their step parent I think. S4 I cannot remember the premiere but obviously the finale was crazy and Im sure theres some tie in with buck feeling expendable + the premiere. Maybe something with dr copeland? S5 - eddie really shouldnt be exerting himself right now scene vs buck being the guy who wants to fix everything. Basically the beginning and conclusion of eddie’s arc and buck’s role in that. S6 - dinner scene obviously the couch call back and leadership call back for buck we dont need to talk about it though lol. And of course s7 with the blatant buck parenting chris parallels. Yayy 911 insisting on doing parallels with buck and eddie specifically to begin and end every season :))))

S4 is the only one where the premiere didn’t have any like out of pocket buddie domestic moment tbh. But they made up for it with the finale. Changed the game fr…

But yes!!! All of the parallels!! Bookends. Whatever you want to call them. It does make me curious what we’ll see on s8!! Presumably something to do with Eddie & Buck dealing with Chris’s absence. And since I predict Chris will come back sooner rather than later, I am interested to see what seeds the premiere plants wrt the three of them that can be carried through the whole season…

[lotusclans-luck]

Do you have any tips or recommendations for someone who wants to make their own comic based on their ClanGen save?

ooh man Well. take this with a grain of salt because i am definitely not an expert on storytelling Or clangen stuff lol ! but heres what id suggest/what i do:

log/write down what happens every moon, patrol, etc. personally i write down EVERYTHING (moons, patrols, some relationship events, and each cats personal status) so im certain i dont miss any potential details/scenes i want to add. however this does leave you with way more information than you'll need in the long run so feel free to just log what you want to! dont go overboard if you dont want to

when writing down everything make sure its organized in a way you'll understand later. for example, i use google spreadsheets and have all the information grouped into specific sheet pages; from there i list everything according to which Moon it happened in for timelines sake

if you dont like something that happened ingame and you want to void it because its inaccurate for the story, Void it. If you want to move an event to a different moon so it makes more sense in the story, Do it. you dont have to include every single thing that happens either, pick things you like or think would work best for the story. its all up to you and should be something you're having fun with!

make sure your character designs are ones you'll be able to draw over and over again– dont feel like you cant get creative with them, just keep in mind youll be drawing these characters so so so many times so make sure youre prepared for that

i cant think of much else off the top of my head.. i kind of just do what i Feel like doing theres no real rhyme or reason to it.. as long as you're having fun bringing these characters to life , you're doing it right !!

[ask-underzom]

why was papyrus killed off? will there be a scene describing his death, what happened to him? and can we see how it effects the characters afterwards? (sans, undyne, alphys, MTT specifically since they were the closest)

Papyrus was killed off mostly for character building purposes with Sans. and also bcz i cant and refuse to draw him. 😭

I promise you its for good reason. He’s naive and eager to help people. Personally, id dont think hed last long without toughening up a little. I love papyrus, but a zombie apocalypse is not where he belongs. Its not where a lot of these characters belong, which is why they all depend on each other.

In the comic. or. book. or whatever im gonna do with this au, there is gonna be a scene about his death, and theres gonna be reactions to it.

For how it impacts the characters, id prefer to. write it rather than show it with images, because its a LOT to draw out.

For one;

Sans was devastated. He tried to save Papyrus in the moment, but in an attempt he had used more magic than hes used to. Since monsters have gone years without use of immense amounts of magic (Modern commodities made it easier to live), summoning a powerful magic attack blinded him temporarily and left him visually impaired. After it settled in, he stopped doing a lot of things. He stopped getting up for militia work, quit working in the lab, and refused to leave his bed. He was useless for months until Alphys proposed an elaborate plan to, hopefully, find a cure.

Undyne was upset as well, but took a different approach to it. Prior to the incident, she was full of energy and determined to get through it. She tried to remain positive and keep people looking up, but that all .. fell apart once Papyrus died. She continued her work, but she got meaner. Straight to the point, no time for chit chat. She got impatient and demanding. Whatever the militia had been doing before, they were doing tenfold now. It lost a few members. Unlike Sans, she became more cautious and careful. Any sign of danger? She’d go in first ti make sure the others didn’t get hurt. She wasnt reckless; she wasnt cowardly. Undyne saw that without Papyrus, things got more serious, dangerous. She acted accordingly to such.

Mettaton didnt get a chance to know Papyrus until after the apocalypse started and he was called to come spend time with family instead of travelling. When the commune started and everyone had to go into groups, Papyrus was originally ordered to stay at base and help ration. Occasionally, he’d dabble in medical work while helping others under the supervision of his father, Gaster, or he’d help in entertaining other and keep them distracted. Thats where he met Mettaton. They talked, they bantered, and they hit off. They made good friends, and it stayed that way. A couple months after the apocalypse started, Muffet had joined the group and took over Papyrus’s position, which pushed him to join the militia. Mettaton, among others, urged him not to. When he did join, Mettaton was pretty upset. They saw eachother less and less, but when they did, he acted in support. After papyrus died, Mettaton’s life didnt change much. His routines seemed more… lackluster. He didnt seem as happy and distracting as he thought, and his attempts to cheer everyone up went pretty sour. He didnt put as much effort into his job as he should have been. Luckily, he made good recovery after some time of grief. He confided in Sans and Alphys, where Alphys was more of a help than Sans was.

Considering they werent… the best of friends, he got over it quicker than the others, but he was still down,

Other notable characters;

Alphys, who was upset for Sans and because Papyrus was usually great to be around. She seemed more unwilling to work for a week or two.

Dentin and Sid, who liked having Papyrus around. Dentin smiled less and Sid became more irritable, but they got through it.

Grillby was upset and tried to get Sans to talk about it with him, but to no prevail.

The commune itself seemed a little down after that, but most of them made good recovery after a 1-2 weeks of grief.

[mihai-florescu]

Had one of the craziest dreams of recent weeks. Long saga, starting from having to find a living situation in a dystopic feeling world, living with some ex classmates from all schools ive ever been to among others. I miss a specific party, the dream shifts a bit, im in the same universe but part of a military program choosing people. At first focusing on a random lady getting accepted, eventually my life becomes endangered because of my sponsors in this event, until finally the dream shifts again slightly and im a stupid but cute cheese eating mouse a military squad is fond of. Im guessing theres something more about me bcs the dream is about 2 hardened killers trying to hide their real monstrous selves from me. The narrator talks about their relationship to this mouse theyre illogically attached to as the only thing worth remembering their humanity for. I, well not i the mouse, i the viewer, also see them fighting a monster (i think ppl become monsters in this world, i remember the general going through the motions of what he's supposed to say after having cut off parts of this "monster" person bla bla if youre above 21 you get sent to a specific less forgiving place. And the guy who got defeated reveals he's only 18, even though he looked so tough and monstrous. Cue b plot about the general heart and humanity getting appealed to like the other guys (well, a guy and girl) with the mouse. Except that during this fight the other soldiers like to fuck around with the poor mice on the tank/bunker/living quarter, making them do math for cheese. And my mouse loses, it's not very smart... i could see this scene as if it was on tv, i was both the viewer hoping for better and the mouse who said the wrong number: 4. The mouse gets shot. The 2 attached soldiers (well they were a bit higher up) return, particularly the woman notices and is distraught. They bring the mouse back to life, i think with cloning, and start asking questions to make sure it retained the same cutesy endearing qualities. I wake up feeling something is wrong in my room, scared. I thought a cat was under my table, but it was a trick of the light and objects blending in together. I still dont know what was wrong in my room but im so tired

[ikissjesse]

could you do some aaron t/aaron z headcanons pls!

omg yes ofc !! ty for the request <333 since 3 ppl requested aaron² hc's (nothing specific) im gonna put all ur requests into this once post !!

tags: @i-need-a-slurpee @hrts4ariana ( note as of writing: this was a draft from 1719817282 years ago so if u forgot abt this n no longer wanted to be tagged im sorry🥲 )

as i mentioned in this post, they both adore musicals, especially hamilton

aaron² hc's !!

reblogs appreciated + reqs open <3

they like listening to the soundtracks together when they hangout

sometimes when there's a musical near where they are on tour they go together in their free time

u didn't hear it from me but they held hands during one of these musicals bc the room was dark n they thought noone would notice

as bros, ofc.. homies hold hands during musicals !!

they totally sing non-stop from hamilton together its cannon bc i say so

anyway enough abt hamilton for now

there was def mutual pining

they were both like "fuckidishcoaoxjaoa he just thinks of me as a friend"

"friend" NO HE WANTS U SO BAD -God probably idk

the way they attempted to "drop hints":

t tried to make z laugh a lot, even more than he usually did

pranks became less extreme than they normally were, he wanted to surprise him, not scare him to death like he used to

z would, although he denies this, try to do basketball tricks to impress t whenever he is at the basketball court w him

both of them went to jesse for advice, not knowing the other was doing the same

"hey jesse uhm- what should i do if, theoretically, ihavearlybigcrushonsomeonewhoiveknownforawhilebutithinktheyseemeasafriendandireallyreallyREALLYwannabemorebutidontwannaruinourfriendship????" -t

"...what?" -jesse

needless to say jesse was confused as hell

he sent him off w some advice after t slowed down enough for him to understand, then about 15 minutes later z came rambling about the same thing

"JESSE YOU'RE A HIT WITH THE LADIES, AND THE GAYS, AND..BASICALLY ANYONE. HOW DO I FLIRT WITH SOMEONE IVE KNOWN FOR AGES WHO IM PRETTY SURE SEES ME AS JUST A FRIEND?????" -z

thats what made it click for jesse, n he just laughed at the realization

giving him the same advice he gave t, he snickered at the idea of the aarons having a crush on eachother but being too stupid blind to see the feelings were mutual

"thanks jess!!" -z to jesse, running off

"yeah no problem man hehehshshehsh goodluck! HEHEHHEHE"

building up as much courage as he could, z eventually made the first move a few days later

he asked t if he'd like to join him for a musical that would take place at a nearby theater, n he gladly accepted

little did t know where this would lead <33 achoo anyways

as the lights dimmed during a 'romantic' scene, aaron z took t's hand in his own n (quietly) confessed his feelings towards his long-time bestfriend

saying t was happy would be an understatement

the energetic boy yanked him into a hug, leaving his stoic counterpart(ner) highly confused and extremely flustered

choking from t's tight embrace, his face became beet red

"Im, uhm- assuming you feel the same?"

well NO FUCKIN WAY SHERLOCK WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT -God again probably

"yeah dumbass, ofcourse i do!" t whisper-yelled, trying to keep his excitement down as they were still in a theater after all !!!

after that, z just smiled n wrapped his arms around t's waist, returning the hug

but wait !! theres more !!

what kind of ikissjesse ship post would this be without cute couple hc's ???

the quiet stoic boy x loud energetic boy dynamic UUGF MY HEART I THINK IM DYIBG from how much i love this duo😔😔

z buys t a baseball cap in EVERY city/country they go to. every fucking one

even if its not a band tour, if z is out somewhere n sees a cool cap he thinks t would like, yall better believe this boy would cut off an arm n sell a kidney just for t to get that hat

t has a whole side in his closet dedicated to these hats z buys him, he finds it absolutely adorable

z actually thinks he isnt good at gift giving, so he was afraid t wouldnt like it at first, but t's reaction is enough conformation that he adores it

now what kinda aaron² hamilton lover truther would i be if i didnt mention the musical again 💪💪

they have FREQUENT hamilton marathons together, sometimes the other members of 4*town will join in too !!

they still sortve act like they did before, like friends n what not

however theyre also 300% more flirty

by that i mean T is 300% more flirty

z might be a LITTLE bit but def not as much as my boy aaron t (the r in aaron stands for rizzler -aaron t)

z isn't a big fan of PDA himself, however when t does little displays of affection when theyre in public he loves it ( he doesn't say it out loud bc he's shy but he does smile at t or to himself, holding t's hand or draping an arm over his shoulders )

when theyre in private z will hug t from behind, hold his waist, kiss his forehead, etc .... yk... bro stuff......

t surprises him by going BOO!!! and jumping up to put his arms around his shoulders from behind, which at first scared z shitless n earned t a lecture about why he shouldn't scare him like that bc z WILL swing but z is okay with it now n actually smiles ALBEIT A VERY SMALL SMILE when he does it

dates include but r not limited to playing basketball late at night together, movies, watching musicals, roadtrips to literally anywhere long or short they just wanna be in eachothers presence OUGHG I LOVE THEM

i forgot to mention !!! t is definitely the one who asked to be boyfriends, but z accidentally said "I love you" first

t was doing something dumb again, and z shook his head as he laughed, accidentally mumbling the words "I love you" out loud

t stopped dead in his tracks n snapped his head in z's direction, n yall this boy was STRESSED he did NOT mean to let the world know this information

z covered his face with his hands n his face was PINK pink bro but t just laughed n walked over to him, cupping his face in his hands and staring at him with a very VERY smug but genuine n happy grin

z scoffed, but soon glanced back at the other boy and smiled shyly

theyre so cute im throwing up in class

there's more but i think this is long enough for now, sorry for the wait pls snack on this while u wait for the rest of my jesro + aaron² content i have planned WINK WINK

thank u for reading <3

[i-cant-sing]

When you do publish books one day (because I know you will), what types of books do you want to write? Nothing too specific of course for your privacy, but a general genre or genres. and if you would be more of a ya author or adult, or both. if you don't feel comfortable answering that question since you might be concerned that people might tie you to this account that's also fine.

I personally have my own writing account (which is why I'm going anonymous) and am working to be a published author as well so I'm aware that privacy is a concern in this situation.

hope you have a wonderful day,

best wishes.

hmm im not sure what genre id like to go for because i love everything but i think id like to write scifi or something based on history or anything that involves me doing research. i think i wanna combine multiple genres in a story- so romance, adventure, thriller, horror, psychological, etc. i think as far as romance goes, i wanna try changing it a bit because pretty much most books have straight up 🌽 or some HIGHLY UNREALISTIC scenarios/displays of love (which i get it, sometimes yall just want that). I wanna make people realise the care in simple acts, that not everyone does PDAs or "throws his hand over your shoulder and pulls you closer to him, glaring at everyone to show hiS cLAimmM"🤮

some guys- or the very least, the guys in my head- i want him to be protective "lets you deal with your problems yourself because you're an adult, but when you cant- he's there." and not protective like "he puSHES yoU beHinD hiM anD gROowWWllsss "no onE tOuchEs whATs mInEE" girl be fr if a man growls, im calling the psych ward👁👄👁

also as Muslims and im sure that in most communities, it is forbidden or rare for unmarried/nonfamily men and women to do physical contact, not even hand holding, so i wanna write something that tackles how couples show affection without skinship.

i also wanna write in a way that kind of changes/educates the reader. write scenes that makes u feel like youre right there. you guys should deserve to read something that kind of makes you question yourself, makes you wanna be a better person, makes you see the flaws in yourself and make u wanna better urself.

i feel like theres a lack of realism in book couples these days, and theres just wayyyy too much "infantalisation" of female mcs and how the guys is pretty much rich/rude/mafia/morally grey. its ok to read such books sometimes, but i feel like its the mainstream now.