#theres only one correct answer btw and if you know me you know what that is

[starlostastronaut]

DAY 13 | NOVEMBER RAIN

PAIRING: seo changbin x reader

GENRE: hurt/comfort

WC: 0.98k

CW: reader goes through a break up and takes it hard, insecurities over being a "good partner", theres crying

PROMPT: "you came?" "you called?"

i feel bad giving binnie only the shorter oneshots. i thought this might be longer but it got more personal than i intended, so thats why it might seem rushed a bit bc i didnt want to go that into detail. btw november rain is song rec of the day, bc its an amazing song! i hope you enjoy <3

title from november rain - guns 'n roses

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

You stared at your phone in shock, unable to form any coherent thoughts at the moment. The delivered message was glowing on the screen, and every time you looked at it, it felt like knives twisting in your gut. You couldn’t believe it. This… This had to be a nightmare. It had to be. But no matter how many times you pinched and slapped yourself, you didn't wake up. It was very real, and it was happening to you. 

Your boyfriend had just broken up with you. And over a text like a coward. He didn’t provide any explanation; he just said it wasn't working anymore. You didn’t understand it. Sure, there had been some tough moments in your relationship, but you resolved those ages ago. The past few months had been nothing but happy. He had never given you any hints, any signs, or anything to indicate he was feeling that way. Hell, it wasn't even that long ago when he was telling you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him. 

You sank to your knees, feeling the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. With shaking fingers and hazy vision, you closed the conversation with your now-ex and opened a different chat. Barely registering any of your actions, you typed out a simple message. Then the phone slipped out of your fingers, and you curled into a pathetic little ball, lying on the floor of your bedroom and wetting it with your tears, wondering what led him to that decision.

Was it something you did? Were you not good enough as a partner? You weren’t the most affectionate person out there; physical contact or expressing your feelings was something you struggled with a lot. But you always did your best to make sure your ex-boyfriend - you corrected yourself - knew you loved him. Small gestures, compliments, spending time together, being his support system when he didn't believe in himself... You always thought that was an important part of a relationship, so you tried to fulfill the duty as best as you could. But it wasn't enough. You failed as a partner. You failed, you failed, you failed. Your brain kept chanting that over and over again. All of your insecurities came flooding into your brain at once. You covered your ears in a useless attempt to silence the voices in your head.

You didn't know how long you were there, curled into yourself. You just knew it was long enough for the tears to stop falling. Faintly, you heard someone in the other room, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care who it was. You were too far gone in your own head. Someone pounded on your door, but you didn't answer. In the next second, the door was getting kicked down as a distressed Changbin ran through.

Seeing you on the floor in that state made him stop. He slowly kneeled down to you, bringing one hand to your hair and stroking it gently. “Are you with me? Y/N?” When he didn't get a response from you, he sat down, leaning on your bed for leverage, as his arms gently lifted you and helped you into his lap. Then his hand returned to your hair, carding his fingers through it while he whispered sweet nothings to you. “It's okay, baby. I'm here now,” he murmured, his other hand moving to stroke your back. His soothing touch slowly brought you out of your dazed state.

“Binnie,” you choked on a sob, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing yourself closer. Right now, he was a grounding weight around you. As long as he was there, you were going to be okay. 

“It's okay,” he said softly, not halting his ministrations even as you moved. “It's okay.” He let you lay there as long as you needed, providing you with the silent comfort you needed right now. He knew you would tell him eventually, but he also knew you needed to do that at your own pace. Pressuring you into talking would only lead to you closing off completely.

After a while, you pulled away. You had calmed down enough to talk. You looked at Changbin, who flashed you a relieved smile. Noticing the strange material that was crumpled under your fingers. You looked up at him, your lips parted in slight shock. “You're still in your stage outfit,” you whispered, looking at him in disbelief.

“We just finished the shoot when I saw your message,” he shrugged. “It said he broke up with you and to help, so I ran here. The stylists weren’t too happy, but Channie-hyung will handle it.” Changbin smiled at you. The realization dawned on you. When you texted Changbin, it was in the middle of a music show. 

“Binnie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disrupted your schedule; I was just  panicking and-"You began frantically apologizing, because this wasn't that big of a problem. You just overreacted. You didn’t need to drag Changbin into your mess. The voices got loud again.

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop,” Changbin said gently but firmly, grabbing your hands so you would stop fidgeting. He intertwined your fingers with his and squeezed to let you know he's with you. “You needed me, so I came here. I didn't have to do it, but I did. Because I care about you more than about doing a music show.” You looked up at him, your lips stretching to a smile, in spite of the mess happening in your brain. You didn’t deserve this man. Changbin was too good for you. But you were happy you had him.

You launched yourself onto him, wrapping your arms securely around his neck. “Thank you, Binnie. For being here and... and for everything,” you murmured into his shoulder. 

“Of course,” he responded, hugging you tighter.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

[angel---eater]

very much related to my text post from earlier today- and my general tone and feelings abt this while writing is just like, neutral thoughtful retrospectiveness bc im an oldhead in fandom and ive seen a lot of shifts in online culture. so this is basically me doing a pseudo-anthropology amateur hour thing about what ive seen and also partook in when i was a tween/teenager. but i do actually think i know why so many ppl get really fuckin nasty and petty about ships and headcanons beyond, yknow, the bullshit fake morality dischorse thats just ship wars with extra excuses to enact cruelty- which is that everyone in fandom, but particularly fanartists on tumblr/twitter with a big following who have had a big following for years, are

1) extremely attached to their headcanons and how they view a text/canon (reasonable and human, thats how fandoms work), and

2) because theyre so extremely attached to their headcanons and personal lens they think they're the only one in the fandom whos 100% correct, who has all the answers, who has the ultimate understanding of xyz. in this case homestuck.

and i think its particularly bad in the homestuck fandom because theres so much to analyze. homestuck is a CHUNKY piece of media. its been going for ages, its had so much time to mature and breath as a piece of art. its not for casual fannish folks. even if you go into it expecting a chill and mild time you usually come out the other end with ur hair smoking and with a thousand yard stare. and like, i dont think this is a bad thing necessarily, but it becomes a bad thing when

3) bc the fandom is old, there are a considerable amount of fanartists with large followings who all think theyre the only one whos 100% correct and that their ideas are 'closest to god', meaning closest to the creators ideas

and finally- 4) their following gives these popular fans a constant stream of yes-manning which then leads to dogpiling on anyone who dares to disagree with the popular fanartist's headcanon, or even when anyone just has a different one, a disagreement isnt rlly needed. the headcanon can be anything up to and including smth like height btw, i have seen this happen

and theres also the core of this, which is that way too many fandoms seems to have forgotten what the term headcanon even MEANS. theres too much emphasis on the '-canon', which actually doesnt mean a fuckin thing when it comes to headcanons. its playing imaginary on top of something already imaginary. i dont think dirk strider being intersex is anywhere close to canon for example. honestly i dont even think dirk strider was intended to be written as anything but a cis perisex boy. but its my headcanon, which is a bubbled thing relative to me that i like messing around with in AUs

the thing about art is that no one in the audience is or will ever be ''100% correct''. no one in the audience will ever know what the creator of a piece was actually thinking of when they made it. the only one who has total and complete understanding of any work is the creator of said work, and even then thats not a given if the creator doesnt actually want to think abt everything theyve created. and i think thats okay and normal!

i really really really want to see less ppl in fandom wanting to be Correct and wanting their headcanons to be Hard Unignorable Confirmed Canon so they can be smug abt 'guessing correctly' and more ppl just wanting to have fun and explore a work from multiple angles. together. like thats actually what a fandom does, historically. we're at an arts and crafts table. ive never considered transmasc jade before for example. shes usually a trans girl in my stuff. but transmasc jade is a concept that fuckin rocks and that i now love a lot bc i saw it pop up and be explored within fandom! esp bc trans guy jade is really adorable alongside june. they swapped!

it reminds me of the fuckin 'blue curtains' thing, disregarding bad faith anti-intellectual bs nonanswers. the curtains are blue bc blue represents sadness, loneliness, want, comfort, the sky, the ocean. theyre blue bc blue is the character's favourite colour and the author wanted them to want it in their living space. theyre blue bc its the AUTHORS favourite colour and they just like using it to paint pictures either visually or with words. all of these are correct analysis of why a character's curtains could be blue. theres no wrong answer there when it comes to us as the audience thinking about art. the actual wrong answer is attacking anyone who thinks the blue curtains are blue for a different reason than you do, or that they hold any meaning at all

[allyouveeverknownbyrustedbread]

hmm okay lets work through the info we have

crazy cultist thinks the weird heart is god, probably convinces other people to worship it as well. the other people slowly morph into either the first drawing of that black book with the golden heart (aka the people from the cathedral) or the second one (aka the thing that was watching me now). they dont seem to be dangerous though. said crazy cultist slowly lost their sanity and tried to merge with the heart? we dont know if this succeeded or not.

so theres a few questions that arise from this.

first, what exactly is the heart? what purpose does it have and how is it connected to this seemingly infinite place? perhaps it really is some kind of supernatural entity which has the power to make this place. why? perhaps it waits for the people who end up here to slowly lose their sanity and exchange their soul to it, just like the crazy cultist leader. this is mostly speculation though

which brings us to our next question. who is the cultist leader? maybe this isn't even relevant, and maybe we will never know

another question i still haven't figured out the answer to is why was i in the warehouse in the first place? i just suddenly woke up in it. what was i possibly doing before, and how does it connect with everything else?

lastly, apparently all the storylines are connected. how does a place with flesh corridors, crazy cultists and seemingly god also have a fucking dave and busters. what the hell is going on. except if we aren't in the same place? just because we aren't in the same location doesn't mean it couldn't be connected... lots to think about...

(please sleep btw)

rustedbread

I cannot directly answer some of these questions, because that would directly spoil things, of course

But what I can say, is the supernatural nature of the heart has heavy merit, if you can recall, the heart was connected to the ceiling with what is in fact, a draconic skeleton hanging on it by the ribcage, and by some tendons, so the origin of the heart is in no way anything that you'd consider natural, which none of this WOULD be natural, but the nature of the heart definitely doesnt base itself in rules from any grounded and logical universe

And once I'm finished with everyone's perspectives, I will definitely work on explaining the story of the cultists and the such, because I do have a story for them, it is very vague though from what is given

This place wasn't always like this

It doesn't operate on morality anymore

It's clear that whatever the fanatic did, it was recent

And it turned this place worse than it ever was or could've been

And think of the symbol that was everywhere, heart encircled and trapped, veins reaching out to the edges of it

It wouldn't be wrong to assume you're underground

And think of that other symbol

It was only in select, older pieces of art

Knowing what you know now, the wings and the draconic skeleton are absolutely connected

And dont rely on what's been watching and running from you being the second thing you saw in the texts

After all, it doesnt exactly have any skin you can visibly see, covered by bandages all over it's body, so the prediction that it's what appears to be the more humanoid option, I'll tell you now, isn't correct

The only things that differed the human figure displayed in the text next to the depiction of the blind followers from you was the bruises and scars.

[searidings]

i have thoughts on the wonderful “i can’t hold enough of you in my hands” and have decided to make it ur problem :)! (it was truly lovely btw)

“Lena.” A third time. An invocation, maybe. A prayer.”

reminded me of that text post that said kara means beloved (or something along those lines) in Gaelic so every time lena said her name, her heart would say beloved 🥲

“That’s how she’d come to pull just the right combination of discreet strings at Catco that had allowed her to investigate Kara’s desk and work computer after hours, checking for the recordings.” imaging for my own benefit that theres a photo of supercorp in one of the drawers, if not, a group pictured displayed with lena in it

“Lena doesn’t even realise she’s crying until the worn grey Henley she’s clutching fiercely between her fingers is spotted dark with tears, stained more black than anything” theres been a flood in the uhaul unit lena stores her emotional shit in cause bOxeS are LEAkINg

“There are tapes upon tapes upon tapes. Lena watches the immortalised image of Kara reveal her identity over and over and over again. Watches the onscreen version of herself take it badly each and every time.” kara, i would do anything for you, danvers vs. lena, i want you to love me like i love you, kiernan luthor

“To say, here I am. Love me anyway. Because of, rather than despite.” thanks for this bestie! going to see my therapist early this week! (sn: definitely going into my quote book, this is achingly beautiful)

“She sees, quite simply, that they cannot live without one another. And such a realisation, the bare-faced reality that their symbiosis is now so complete that separation has become synonymous with destruction” saw this and thought of, ”We make each other alive, does it matter if it hurts?” (Ingmar Bergman) just gonna yearn in tears

“On the fourth watch-through, Lena sees the tapes for exactly what they are. A declaration of love.” this gave me so much hope faye, and then i saw how much left i had to read and like lena ive had “emotion wrung mercilessly from her (my) body”

“If she ever gets Kara back, Lena will show her how much she’s learned.” hc that after kara brings her back, and they process in healthy ways, they just start conversing in kryptonian when its just the two of them. lena fumbles some of the pronunciation and kara always gets a small smile on her face before wrapping lena in her arms from behind, and whispering the correct way to say it in her ear. lena fumbles on purpose sometimes

“They’re too good, she knows now. Too noble. Too prepared to put the collective good above the individual. Lena has no such qualms. Not when it comes to Kara.” What am I Catholic? text post vibes. also violence is the question and the answer is yeS

“Lena can only imagine that Alex and J’onn would be vehemently opposed to involving the imp at all and so, she tells no one of her plan.” lena saving the day for the 16478th time, also im just imaging the superfriends all dejected in the tower and then kara ApPeArs and theyre like ????? and she realizes lenas not there but mxy iS and by the confused looks on space dad and alexs faces, they have no iDea what’s happening and she holds mxy against the wall by the throat (please release the written footage of kara threatening mxy please 🙇, would love to see kara crossing some lines)

“The imp has appeared in Rio de Janeiro, of all places.” this just made me smile cause i thought of rio the movie :)

“pulling out her phone to call upon the seemingly boundless resources the Luthor name still affords her.” sugar mommy lena would never leave herself without assets to spoil her baby 💅

“The imp mutters something that sounds suspiciously like oh Christ, and Lena swallows hard” i just KNow if theres nothing on his inter dimensional imp television, he checks in on karas life to see if obliviouscorp has gotten together yet

“One lifetime banishment for another.” totally thought she was gonna trick mxy into taking lex but the angst of her going was delicious

“Kara’s voice is so sweet, Lena muses. The sweetest sound she’d ever had the privilege of hearing. She should have appreciated it more while she could. At least she can hear it again now, though it’s a barbed facsimile at best. At least she can take comfort in this one small remnant of home before she’s inevitably forced to watch Kara die all over again.” just imaging lena with the cloudy eyes and a blissed out smile at karas voice and kara just getting increasingly more worried trying to get her to focus and shes like 💡 “ABS”

“Her milky eyes widen. Beneath the press of her palms is material, sleek and smooth, and beneath that there is warmth and a firm softness and the pounding thud of a heartbeat.” THE ABS HAVE REJUVENATING LUTHOR POWERS

“Now that she can feel Kara again, she cannot feel enough. Cannot get close enough, cannot hold her near enough, no matter how hard she tries.” they are attached now, after medical checkups no one is going see or hear from them for aT leasT a week, theyre too busy snuggling and possibly the deed

“ He didn’t dare refuse me,” Kara mutters, suddenly harsh against Lena’s ear. Her voice is dark and low, full of the wrath of an avenging god.” FUCK HIM UP BABY

“You know what I did. You have to know that I’d choose you, Lena. Every time. Over anything.” its summer, my eyes are sweating

this was so beautiful faye i- u are a *kith* GOD TIER WRITER and i hope YOU are having a wonderful day

broski when i tell you on all levels including physical this is me rn

[illusionsofdreaming]

what kind of characters are your type?

To answer this question I had to look into the deepest, darkest depths of myself. And it was an absolute dumpster fire in there. 

Course, I could’ve just taken the easy way out and list out several characters I like but why do that when I can try to psych myself out by analysing why?

So without further ado...

my favorite character types:

Let’s get the simplest one out of the way first which is: Character visual design

This only applies to characters which usually have some sort of canon visual design (eg. anime, manga, webcomics, games. For now characters from books will be excluded.) 

I’ve picked a few good boys as examples but as you can see, I seem to have a preference for two types of designs: wavy hair and redheads. 

Wavy hair group:

is that bedhair or natural curls? sometimes look like they’ve never showered in 80982638 years but still hot. only works in anime. rain only makes their hair look better. 80% chance they smoke. usually darker hair. 200% tired. probably looks kind of dead inside. also can look evil/assumed evil but actually baby. wow they already look good but when they pull their hair back-ASDLAKSJDLKJ. I want to run my fingers through their hair. btw those curls can’t be replicated in rl. short, medium, long lengths, all of them please.

Redheads:

red.

With that out of the way, let’s move on to the good stuff. Character personalities.

Did I just make a shitty meme for this? Yes. Yes I did.

Obviously that’s not the real selling point of these babies. 

It’s also not everyone but I specifically chose these few as an example because they are also part of a group I’d like to call “boys with unassuming/disagreeable reputation but psych! they’re actually super smart” group.

Please, let me elaborate.

These characters usually have two sides. The public face and the ‘real’ self. Now, a lot of characters have two faces but the characters I end up liking are those who’s ‘public face’ is perceived negatively or extremely ‘harmless’ that they’re often underestimated/looked down upon. 

Their fronts are actually a defense mechanism - a repellant if you would - to discourage others from investigating too close and hide their vulnerability. Because most of these babies have been through so much.

Virion’s flamboyant, braggart, flirtatious front masks the fact he still feels so much about the fact he’s been forced out of his country, watched his people die and continue to suffer their wrath for what they perceived as his ‘cowardice’ when he was just as much of a victim as anyone else. 

Cale who insists he is trash because theres injustice in this world and if he’s trash he might as well break all the rules and mould the world as he sees fit. If only to create a world where people can live without regrets then he’d be the trashy one and point out the flaws in the system and correct it himself. Trash don’t follow rules anyways. 

Kenshin who clings to an easy-going, happy-go-lucky, very non threatening persona as he tries to live day by day, atoning for the sins of his manslayer past which haunts his every step.

Claude is known as the schemer. A person who’s nonchalant attitude makes reading his intentions hard. Untrustworthy. A person who’s willing to use any and all kinds of underhanded tricks to win. Because that’s how he had to survive back home, when he had to fight his brothers to survive. He learned to keep a facade because the wolves are vicious and unforgiving once they smell blood. Despite his childhood, he only had one simple wish, grander than others. To open the borders, so that everyone can be treated as an equal. 

Venti literally wore the face of his dead friend for over 2,000 years, need I say more?

I would go on and explain more but I think you get the gist of it. Perhaps what separates them from others is the fact they don’t care to change what others think, almost welcoming bad rep because it helps one way or another to be unnoticed and underestimated.

Because guess what. All of them are incredibly smart/skilled. It’s sexy. Despite their skillsets, they would choose to withhold from abusing them and accept abuse society throws at them instead. Well not entirely, they do have a line, it’s just more tolerant than others but boy, if it is crossed... 

Perhaps it’s because I’m a writer, these characters just naturally attract me because their duality has so much potential I can angst about. 

Anyways, that seems to be majority type of characters I go for. There’s also a small group of emotionally constipated characters such as Saizo from Fire Emblem Fates and Gilbert Nightray from Pandora’s Heart. These characters who are fluent in communicating in grunts and glares, have the emotional range of a brick, gets offended if they’re given affection - otherwise colloquially known as the tsunderes.

random outliers:

Tartaglia is... I don’t know. He just grew on me like a stinking weed. He’s a bit on the crazy side but I think I smell something of story - I don’t know much, I feel like I want to know more but whoops. I like him now.

Niles who’s whole personality revolves around being as vulgar and repelling as possible. An angry cat, albeit a justified angry cat. He has so much anger and expresses it so painfully. that I just. can’t. I feel for him.

[animalinvestigator]

hi ok i watched petscop a while ago & found ur art in the tumblr tag (so amazing btw u have such a cool style) & i really like petscop but a lot of the plot is still difficult for me to understand bc of the mysterious nature of the narrative, so i was wondering if u would ever consider writing out your interpretation of the plot / characters, or if you have any links to other people's explanations of the story that u think are good. thank u & take care!!

hello! thank you very much for your kind compliments! im always glad to help out with things like this because i love any excuse to talk about petscop lol. its totally natural and expected to be confused! i think a lot of the story is best experienced through being confused and puzzling things together yourself. when it comes to helping people understand petscop i tend to recommend resources in one of two ways: if you want to put in a little extra legwork and solve things for yourself, that's one way, and i'll link a few resources that might help with that! on the other hand, if you want a more straightforward explanation, i also have something that can help with that n_n here they are

two big links for solving it on your own:

petscop comprehensive progress document - this is an extremely thorough long-standing guide containing pretty much everything you could ever need to know about petscop. it lays out all the objective evidence as well as pretty much every available theory. that being said, its over 100 pages long, so i don't recommend reading the whole thing obviously ; you might use it to look exclusively at the theories , or to fact check information on specific characters or topics!

petscop by piece order - petscops upload order doesnt accurately reflect the actual series of events. watching through a second time in this speculative chronological order might clear up some confusion! in general i find that rewatching the series once or twice after your first go through is a lot of help in either order, but thats a lot of commitment, so i wont just say "watch it again" haha

i also havent personally watched them, but trusted confidantes tell me that nightmare masterclass's videos on petscop are pretty good + cover a lot of bases. the catch is they're very long and were released while the series was coming out, so there might be a fair amount of missing / incorrect information in the earlier videos.

additionally if theres anything specific you want cleared up, im happy to answer any questions you might have , just shoot me an ask! i would write out my own interpretation, but it would be like, 2000 pages long, so i tend to only be able to answer things that are somewhat speicfic (i.e concerning only one or two plot points, characters, concepts etc at a time)

(im fuzzy brained rn so i might edit this later with some additional stuff n_n)

if you want it laid out really simply for you though, the best place to go for that is this amazing video by my friend oliver! (hi oliver)

its a really informed retrospective that i agree with on nearly every single point, and he somehow managed to fit it all into 10 minutes. there's also a couple additional resources he links in the description that might be useful as well.

no one reading of petscop is objectively correct so i hope you will have fun figuring out what interpretation of the story means the most to you! feel free to ask anymore questions you might have, and you take care too!! :)

[imaginethathaikyuu]

How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

[heart-forge]

mmm, more so that the Storm Out option is the odd one out. like they say during a test, if you have 3 options and 2 are hella similar, then the odd one out is the "correct" answer (this 3 min sitcom clip explains it better than me: youtu. (space) be/bJYx (space) fCsx2m4). two of the options are about MC interacting with the gang and connecting or not connecting with them, so having one option not follow that pattern at all feels significant, even if theres no right answer in your game (1/?)

(2/?) so its less about the options themselves and more so about the scenes that come after, because there isnt a way to discern that only one option here will have you confront Valerni himself until youre already in the thick of it. i had no idea that Valerni was going to be in the bedroom when i chose that. but having chosen that option last out of the three to explore, i did expect someone from the gang to talk to me either on the way or stationed at the door or something. not Valerni

(3/?) i think how upset MC should feel deoends on the player. i think Questioning led for either feeling satisified after being answered or still upset at the gang's behavior. i think Storming Out led to either being distracted and giggly at the story or feeling upset and patronized. i think Valerni's lack of clearing up the air AS SIGNIFICANTLY (not that he didnt) after both leads to the potential of a lot more tension still being there since Valerni is clearing up on a timer so to speak

(4? ive already lost track shit/?) since youre walking and talking together already and he immediately asks to put his arm around you. its not bad, but the walk after those two options feels significantly different after the walk in the Go To Your Room route, where instead of interacting/connecting with the gang, you rightfully go off to your room and then have an emotionally charged conversation with Valerni who, ontop of being the LI meta-wise is the one person in this manor you DO have a

(5?/?) established relationship with, with inherently charges the scene differently. the dissecting of your guys issues, the promise to be better, the explanation of his situation all carry more weight than the other two BECAUSE of this difference in people, their history/relationship, breaking the pattern, the syntax of the topic, and meta-wise: being a side-character vs being a LI. as a result, the walk after feels different in tension because the tension between you teo has been dispelled

(6?/?) and it feels like you have a plan on how to move foreard versus the other two where the future is more amorphous because the tension HASNT been dispelled (btw im not advocating for the tension; i personally love the convo Valerni and MC have and think its a necessary convo for them to have as a couple). even (invisible) stats wise, i felt like this was really a choice in "Do I wanna impact my relationship with the gang or with Valerni??" rather than what you describe because im not a

(7?/?) mindreader, i do not know what you are thinking as the creator, all i have is the text in front of me to interact with and question while playing the game. i dont know what you know, i know what is presented before me and it is in a vacuum; and in that presentation, regardless of intention, the Gang-Gang-Valerni choice felt significant and Valerni's scene felt heavier and left aftermath different

(8?/?) so emotionally, i felt different after Valerni. and i feel like it was an important conversation for them to have, so please dont think i am advocating to delete his scene entirely (just? maybe?? have a Gang-filled/Valerni-absent scene follow the Go To Your Room instead? that way the options end with the tension and weight feeling the same? or, if you like the dissipated tension and hopeful plan forward to be ruined afterwards (like me) then have the Valerni-present scene in all three?)

(9?/9) id never advocate for the whole deletion of the Valerni scene, i actually really loved it and i liked the lack of tension afterwards and i liked the hopeful plan being dashed. and i also really liked laughing at the disco story and bonding with the gang (my MC would never have stayed and questioned, that was just my curiosity being sated lmao). but i cant deny they felt different in weight and tension. i hope that makes sense and answers your question???

Thanks for answering !! I think my question is answered but I gotta think for a second. So what I’m thinking might solve the issue is making the “storm off” option (obviously maybe a little adjusted to indicate that you’re going to return to your room which might feel a little different after one has kind of calmed down a bit in a different interaction) something you can double up on. So, you’re presented with the initial three options:

a) Leave (locks you into the conversation with Valerian ONLY) b) talk to LTs (gives you the option to talk to valeri AFTER the LT scene, optionally) c) talk to the gang (gives you the option to talk to valeri AFTER the gang scene, optionally)

The issue is that gives you three times the amount of chances to add to the possibility of getting one particular ending versus the other two, or...you know, I could also just assume that returning to see Valeri second wouldn’t give out Ending Points (so you would receive the Ending Points of the choice you picked FIRST and then could see the second scene next). I do like this idea because I agree with you that probably...hearing things from Valeri and getting that opportunity to talk is important. It’ll probably be rewritten lightly just to reflect an MC who’s already kind of steadied themselves by talking to others, but overall communication is absolutely a good thing.

Any urgently conflicting opinions out there? To clarify, the choice would not really affect ending in a significant way (if you were DEDICATED to your MC prioritizing going “over Valeri’s head” by consulting the lieutenants and are interested in what sort of ending that would lead to, choosing to have a conversation with Valerian would not whack out your points balance) and it would be totally skippable if that was something you were interested in (or not interested in, as it were).

[rainingincale]

I just saw your tags on the "harry was oppressed" post. Might elaborate on that when you are not tired? How Zayn was oppressed? His relationship to ot4. Other celebrities? I love your thoughts!

*cracks knuckles* buckle your seat belts folks we’re in for a wild ride here lmao.

also for context *here* is the post this anon is referring to

I think to start off i should just make a little disclaimer, everything i am going to discuss will be based in my biases probably seeing as I am also a brown British Pakistani person who is Muslim. Zayn has been someone that especially when i was younger I looked up to and was very essential in my journey of learning to love and accept myself and my culture tbh. It’s cheesy as hell but it’s true and i think this is important to know before I go into this more because like I said i am definitely biased towards him. Another thing is that I’m just going to be discussing my personal opinions and also my memory is not very good so i will probably miss out a lot of other things that happened/could be discussed. please dont take this as anything more than just. my opinion.

A thing that really opened my eyes to racism and especially the racism in the 1d fandom was the day that zayn left. I dont think thats what the post above was about btw and ill go into that but i kind of just want to talk about this. The day he left was. a severe mess. Not only because it was obviously upsetting but because of all the bs that people were spouting about a situation that absolutely no one had any context on. the statement that was released on facebook gave us nothing. literally just stated that zayn was leaving the band and the accusations and hatred people were directing towards zayn when we didnt know what actually fucking happened (and still dont might i add) was disgusting. people accusing him of being selfish and how they hated him and why he had to ruin everything. Accusing him of using mental illness as an excuse and lying about it and so much more. i had unfollow more than half of the people i followed that day. it really opened my eyes to the fact that these were all thoughts and opinions people had underneath it all and zayn was fine as long as he was part of 1d and giving people what they wanted. which was essentially being the token in the group and once he wasnt providing that anymore? people turned and people turned fast.

i think its also important to point out the flip side of it and that was zayn stans saying that 1d were nothing without 1d etc. i want to talk about why this was different from ot4 stans hating zayn. of course it wasnt nice to see or hear EVERYONE arguing with each other. i hated it so much. but i think what people failed to realise was that when it comes to situations like this you need to look deeper and think about all the nuances of the situation. zayn stans being happy about zayn leaving the band and saying 1d was going to die i did not agree with. anyone who knew me then and knows me now knows that i am a 1d stan regardless (preferably ot5 but i supported 1d until the end even as a 4some) BUT these opinions were rooted in his mistreatment in the band and the racism he was having to face as a result of being in the band etc etc i apologise for not being a person who can better describe and explain this situation but hopefully you are getting the picture. when fans were hating on zayn. with no context with nothing. that was based on racism. point blank. the amount of tweets FROM 1D FANS talking about how he was leaving to join isis and how upset fans were gonna be vulnerable and join etc etc all this deplorable bs. and he had to deal with comments like that throughout his whole time with one direction and i imagine even now. 

Another thing id like to talk about is who zayn stans at least from my point of view usually were. For me i remember when i first got into the fandom i actively made the decision that i didnt want zayn to be my favourite because i didnt want to be a stereotype and this was a point in my life when i still tried to shun and push my culture down because i was ashamed of it. it was only as i slowly saw that zayn was considered as cool and hot and everyone else liked him that i kind of understood that maybe. being brown was alright and it was something cool and that maybe i was cool. it sounds fucked up and honestly i dont even know if i want to be admitting this so adamantly but argh if it helps someone understand then maybe its worth it. (mortifying ordeal of being known eh?) anyways i noticed as i engaged more in fandom and looked for more diversity, more fans like me, majority of non white fans were also... zayn stans. and honestly it makes sense because we all tended to flock towards the closest diversity we could find it seems. im not saying that there werent white zayn stans and that the other boys didnt have non white stans but i just wanted to point out this trend. so when you also take this into account and the fact that on the day zayn left it was majorly... white stans who were criticizing zayn it puts it in perspective for you. majority of fans who still like and support zayn are also not white.

there is a lot more to do with fans but hopefully thats enough of an insight and you can understand the kind of vibes that were present during 1ds prime and what not only zayn had to go through but also as a result the racism we ended up having to deal with as well tbh.

now!!!... something i dont really like talking about lol so this will probably be short but the other boys. so as far as i can remember liams always been kind to zayn since hes left (no surprise there <3 also please correct me if im wrong), niall was kind of indifferent/didnt say anything really, and then there was louis and harry *awkward smile*. hahaha. from my memory i remember when asked about what the most difficult thing was about zayn leaving harry said ‘the paperwork’ which was *awkward smile* and he also kicked that monkey mask/pinata? i cant remember with naughty boys face on it and honestly im sure theres more but his overall reaction to zayn leaving was kind of not caring and maybe being slightly nasty which :) with louis there was the massive twitter fight which literally tears my soul in half so lets not go into that haha and honestly other things where it maybe seemed like he was upset with zayn leaving as well. honestly i am a bit in two minds about these reactions because at the end of the day we dont know what occurred behind the scenes and we probably never will as much as we can speculate or whatever. not to mention that this 10th anniversary it seems maybe everyones on good terms which, who knows really im going to try be optimistic. i think whats important to note about heir reactions is that we dont know anything about their situations but the problem was really how fans reacted tbh (btw i forgot to mention earlier this is about basically everything except for harry and the nb thing. that is inexcusable). the boys reactions were understandable but the problem is that fans of course vicariously are influenced by the boy they stan so when one of them acted a certain way of course that ended up reflecting in fandom and resulted in more racism etc. 

another thing with zayn was that there were many files leaked with like promo or whatever basically describing what kind of role the boys would take on/ their image etc. and of course all the other boys got things like bubbly/funny/charming etc and zayns descriptors? moody, mysterious, dark horse etc etc like from the inception of 1d zayn has been victim to racist stereotypes being pushed on him. and i think this is where harry comes in because of course the image pushed onto him was also extremely harmful and i definitely dont think we should not talk about that but often you'll see that... thats all that is talked about because people are uncomfortable admitting racism and talking about it. 

When i mentioned other celebrities my point was basically just that while ive only talked about zayn in one direction this... is so present among any and every fandom. 5sos, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony... any fandom you can think of, i promise you it is there. racism in fandom is a real thing and a big problem and honestly this is why i always say representation is so important. and when i say that i mean everywhere!!! because if I didnt seek out non white fans to follow then maybe i would’ve had a completely different perspective on all of this.

The thing is also that a lot of this is just stuff that we’ve been able to get our hands on and also fan analysis and theories etc. there is probably so much more to talk bout or go into or stuff we’ll never even know about. I’ve kind of had to make peace with the fact that with celebrities you just really don’t actually know anything about them.

I think i’ll end this here if there’s any more questions you have about anything feel free to ask! and again this is all just my opinion  but hopefully i’ve been able to help answer you <3 have a nice day and i hope youre hydrated!!!

[kaguraspetsims]

[[MORE]]

Hey guys sorry for the absence, work has been...shitty. like, it's making me so depressed and anxious that I'm losing sleep. I'll tell some stories in a second but like for those of you who want a tldr the assistant manager training me has some personal vendetta against me for some reason and is literally making my life hell.

So, just so we are clear: I have worked at this store for 1 and a half months. I dont remember if I've ever said the company I work for but I will say it's a pizza place.

At this store we have the store manager (call him R) and 3 assistant managers (P, A, and me).

A has been at this store for 2 years, P is the one that trains new AMs. A became an AM like...half a month ago. I have no prior experience in this company so I'm trying to learn the basics PLUS manager stuff.

So to try and keep things easy to follow, after my first week or so there P has me sit down with her and she asks me how I am able to learn better. I explain to her that I need positive reinforcement and I need to be told if I'm doing something wrong when I'm doing it wrong so that I dont form bad habits and have to relearn things. I also explained to her that I have short term memory loss, which is the reason I'm so unconfident when trying to portion toppings.

The gist if what she told me was this: I learn fast and I need to stop second guessing myself bc that slows me down and therefore slows the whole process down. And I was like yes I will accept this is true and try to do better. She also said she'd stop answering complicated questions I had, which I understood as anything that could not be answered with a yes or no.

So the weeks are going on and I learn several things about how this place works out.

I am short, shit is taller than me. I'm told to ask for help when I need it.

I quickly learn that when I ask for help, depending on what it is I'm asking for and how her mood is, P will get irritated as fuck with me for asking. Example: we have guides on how to build certain food items. Theres a lot of shit on the menu. The guides are very hard for me to reach. So when I ask for help getting a guide so I can try learning the build, I either get it tossed at me or I get told what to put on it in a disappointed or irritated tone. (Keep in mind I'm not being told the portioning for these toppings unless I ask for those too, to which I get an annoyed "I don't know off the top of my head.")

So I decided that if I have a question about what goes on what builds, I will try to list off all the toppings I remember and be like "that's what's on it right?" I figured this way they know I'm trying to learn them, I'm retaining at least SOMETHING, and if theres an ingredient or two off they can correct those.

Yeah the last time I did that P turned around and totally ignored me. And it turns out I was correct about all the toppings on it.

Now skip to about a week and a half ago, I'm finally learn how to stretch dough. Every time I have tried to stretch this shit has been during rush. At this point I have only worked rush shifts, which are shit for training, but when I've come in earlier I learn how to prep food, and so I literally dont get a lot of one on one time with someone who can actually sit there and train me. And when I DO have the chance to have one on one time, it's usually with P and she usually leaves me to make as much as possible while she goes to the back to chat with people who are waiting to take deliveries.

I end up getting so frustrated that I start taking shit out on myself, basically telling myself that I cant do anything right and that I've peaked and that I'm never going to get better. I tell P this and she tries halfheartedly to get me to breathe and keep going.

Mow skip to this week. I'm told I will close Monday and Tuesday (yesterday and the day before) I'm told I'll be trained how to close.

Monday comes up. I get there at 5:30. A gets thre at 5. We work thru rush and A tells me he will stay with me till P gets there around 10 just in case we get a night rush. Keep in mind this is P's day off and A had offered to help train me since he was already there.

So 10:30 rolls around and P finally shows up. She comes inside only to tell A he should have left at like 8 or 9. You know. Leaving me alone on my first closing night when I still cant make an entire one pizza on my own under 3-5 minutes.

So A leaves. One of the drivers is there bc he has to be (we can call him T). P tells T hes going to do most if not all the cleaning so she can show me how to do inventory and enter shit in the computer. She says when he finishes he can leave ahead of us bc we were (supposedly) going to be there for a few hours.

So for about 2 hours I'm told how to find things on the computer and finish inventory. Most of those two hours is just me entering shit in the computer or her talking on the phone with a friend.

At one point she says to T that shes just teaching me computer shit now, and on Tuesday she'd teach me how to break down and clean the area where all the food is.

At 12:30-12:45 she says shes going to leave and for me to call her when I'm done counting money so that she can tell me the rest of what I have to do. This sends off panic bells in my head. Not only has she NOT FINISHED TEACHING ME SHIT, I'm about to leave a store by myself in the middle of fucking nowhere with no overhead lights. I felt unsafe leaving the gamestop I worked at during the night even tho there were parking lot lights and usually small crowds at the walmart next door, and I never left that building by myself.

So I'm just ask "can T stay so I'm not leaving here by myself and I dont risk my safety?"

The response I got was basically P saying she forgot I was weak and fragile. So she decided to stay and fi nng ish helping me on the computer, which, btw, was another 15 minutes or so of her staying???

Also fun news I get at this point is that P will NOT be closing with me tuesday night. I'm on my fucking own with T! :)

So then I'm helping clean shit bc apparently we're behind (it's like 1 am at this point) and P (who did the entire food area by her damn self) finally leaves around 1:15. T has been really nice and stays with me to help me put the last of shit together before we leave.

I dont get home till 2 monday night.

Skip to tuesday night. I get in at 4:45. A and P are there. Ahas been told by P he MUST leave by 9. She leaves at like 6:30.

I learn a few things after she leaves from multiple people.

A has been here 2 years, and P not only stayed with him till 3 am breaking every little thing down and showing him everything, but he ALSO was given the opportunity to close with her for about 2 or 3 nights before he closed by himself.

I have been there an entire month and a half, got told how to do ALMOST everything ONE time, and the very next night I'm closibg hy myself.

I have trained for (almost) 2 hours how to close at this point. I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. I start getting order after order. The drivers are out doing their jobs so I'm literally in the whole store by myself trying to figure shit the fuck out bc i was basically left to fend for myself. Spoiler alert, I'm not very fucking good at this.

To make a long story short, a bunch of shit went wrong tuesday night. T is trying his best to help me learn things, but he doesnt know how to do everything bc hes not in a manager position. He even says to me at one point "it just seems like you've been set up to fail." Granted I was complaining about the fact that I didn't get fucking training, but he said that shit on his own. He pointed shit out that I had been thinking about.

Again, skip to about 3 am. I have my final call with P. She proceeds to tell me several things:

You should not be there more than an hour after close.

Your inventory variance should not be that high.

Just finish up what you're doing and leave, what's done is done and what's not is not.

Then she asks me "do you see what you need to improve on?"

At that point I nearly snapped. How the FUCK can I know what to improve on when theres no one there to give me fucking feedback?? I dont know what the fuck I'm doing. I literally scrambled all fucking night to ATTEMPT to do shit right which, apparently, it still wasnt good enough. I was given a whole ~2 hours to learn ALMOST everything to close. R doesnt get out when he closes till about 2 hours after the store closes, so why the fuck am I being picked on when I had fucking not even 2 whole hours of training?

I have never EVER told myself to quit without putting in a two weeks notice before. I'm going to talk to R about this shit before I just up and leave at this point. I'm attempting to find another job in the meantime but the toll that these past few weeks has had on my mental health is just fucking astounding. The last time I had that kind of a meltdown after work was a year ago when I worked at the fucking kennel and a dog got hurt and no one answered me.

Oh, btw, that kennel? The one owned privately by a single person, that wasnt a franchise or anything? Yeah, as much as those communication skills sucked, it was leagues better than the communication at this establishment I'm at now. And that's saying a fucking lot.

[baeddel]

really, really long reply, under the cut

So like, I think the correct answer is definitely “no” fdgsdfgdfgs and the reason is like... Since returning, over the past month and a half, I’ve put about 350 hours into the game, and I’m still at the beginning. like... the very, very, very beginning. I haven’t even got going. I’m still doing everything I need to do to get set up for doing things in the future. So the answer is like, no, you don’t have time. The only people who can really play Runescape are NEETs, who in all cases cease playing when their situation changes, and people with serious disabilities with more time than energy. I fall into the latter category and I still feel like I don’t have enough time to play Runescape.

But yeah it has... a lot going on lol. Like... a LOT. Its an open world sandbox CRPG that has undergone continual development without cessation for over twenty years. Right now its updated weekly, and thats a relatively slow pace compared to its history. No other game has the same immensity of size, scope and scale, and every single dimension of the game interacts with every other part. Its a game of such combinatorial complexity that it takes years to really even begin to understand. I have.... kind of a handle on it, and I started playing in 2003. Players three times my level with, probably, ten times my playtime, regularly add me to ask me questions because I seem to know a lot about the game.

There are definitely more complex games, but they’re rare. My gf always talks abt EVE Online as like a similar game in terms of the enormity of scope and systemic complexity, which I think is definitely the bigger game, and I think most bigger & more complex games are going to be space traders & space simulators and shit like that, some of which require knowledge of real-word physics. Dwarf Fortress is more complex due to the level of its simulation and possibly infinite outcomes, and some roguelikes definitely get close. But Runescape isnt just enormous on the macro-level, but also on the micro-level, like...

Runescape is all ‘grinding’, but the grinding is like... for the most part, very high APM. You can do less intense methods, and not everyone plays the game like this, but if you’re playing the game seriously, it looks something like this:

(crafting lava runes - video is 1hr long dont watch it all lmao)

(catching black chinchompas - this is btw located in the ‘wilderness’ where players can attack you, and this spot is camped heavily by player-killers, so doing this method involves pvp!!!!!!)

(mining granite)

(woodcutting at teaks)

Apart from the first, all of these involve a technique called ‘tick manipulation’, which is almost like an animation cancel - other techniques (like telealching and stunalching) do involve animation cancels. In the last video, he’s manipulated two birds to attack him at slightly different intervals so that it interrupts the woodcutting animation, allowing him to attempt to cut wood every 2 ‘ticks’ (units of game time) instead of the usual 5. The APM is really high compared to most games, although obviously theres no or relatively little decision-making involved; the closest gameplay experience I can think of is practicing combos in the training mode of a fighting game.

And this is just ‘skilling’! There’s also bosses that have pretty complex mechanics, a very complex economy, multiplayer minigames that can be anything and everything, theres PVP, theres... yknow... a shitload. There’s stuff like this:

(speedrunning the ‘fight caves’)

and also like, quests, which are - mostly awful, but the good ones are awesome, they can be like little Sierra adventure games with really bullshit puzzles dfgsdfgs. And quests can take anywhere between 4 and 10 hours to complete.

There’s so much shit in the game, most of the game is like... ‘routing’, the logistical challenge of working out what way you want to do things - to minimize expense, risk and time spent - since its totally open world & free roaming... its easy to succumb to analysis paralysis; having any one thing helps a lot to do some other thing, and vice versa. So it can be really hard to decide on what you want to do and when. It has a kind of suffocating level of freedom & its the combination of the immensity of scope & the absolute level of freedom that makes runescape really unique, as well as its weird hardcore gameplay that isnt like anything else.

Anyway, I love runescape a lot. Like, a whole whole whole whole lot. But I don’t know that I could inflict it on anybody fkhgsdghdfhgfd

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (you can be my new addiction)

Chapter 6: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

Chapter Summary: Nobody has a normal sleep schedule, Jughead helps Betty with her totally-not-real issue, the Lodges and Coopers are really gay, and Archie has some scary (but still important to the plot) tendencies.

Notes: mayorlodge: hermione acoop: alice Also, just for clarification, both Hal and Hiram are out of the picture (mostly because it's convenient to the story but whatever). This is a long-ass chapter, so... have fun?

ao3

Wednesday, 12:00 AM

gays united

wannabett: IM BACK!!!

wannabett: as in i finally got my phone back!! im alive again!

nopeaz: you got your phone back at exactly midnight??

wannabett: yep!

hbicheryl: i dont understand you coopers

veroffica: cheryl, you're technically a cooper yourself.

veroffica: and even if you weren't, the blossoms are even worse.

hbicheryl: ugh

hbicheryl: technicalities

spillthefogarTEA: do any of you... actually go to sleep at a reasonable time??

wannabett: no

nopeaz: nah

hbicheryl: nope

veroffica: ha, no.

jugheadalones: definitely not

hisshissmotherfucker: no

goingtoheller: not a chance.

spillthefogarTEA: yeah, me neither

spillthefogarTEA: just checking

hisshissmotherfucker: normal sleep schedules are for the weak

hisshissmotherfucker: natural selection only the dumbasses die

hisshissmotherfucker: im the dumbass

nopeaz: same

jugheadalones: rt

hbicheryl: ^^^^

wannabett: ^^^

wannabett: so

wannabett: yall wanna talk??

hisshissmotherfucker: about how i just realized that fangs and bettys ship name would either be bangs or fetty?? absolutely

goingtoheller: bangs?? can we seriously talk about this?

nopeaz: when you said fetty all i could think of was fetty wap

hbicheryl: no we are NOT doing this now come back to bed and go to sleep RIGHT NOW topaz

nopeaz: as you wish, dear

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: well i need to get my beauty sleep so i can look my emo self tomorrow, so goodnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

spillthefogarTEA: okay i have to admit that we all should get some sleep, but @sweets we are circling back to bangs and fetty later

goingtoheller: ^^

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant help that all my best realizations come when im delirious from lack of sleep but if you say so fangs

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

wannabett: nobody wants to stay up and talk? :(

goingtoheller: i might.

veroffica: i will too.

goingtoheller: nevermind, i'm going to sleep! have fun! ;)

[goingtoheller is offline]

wannabett: i guess its just us

veroffica: want to move this convo to a more private setting, then?

wannabett: sure thing

12:13 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey v

veroffica: hey, b.

veroffica: congrats on finally getting your phone back, btw!

wannabett: i missed you

wannabett: i mean i know that i was only absent for one day and i still managed to call you once

wannabett: but it felt longer than that. more significant

veroffica: i know what you mean. school was hellish (at best) without you there, especially with cheryl being, well, cheryl. i know that she's not half as bad as she used to be, and that toni's helping her to be a kinder person, but sometimes she just doesn't know when to back off.

wannabett: about that, did i ever thank you for standing up for me so vehemently? because i appreciate it

wannabett: you didnt have to but you did anyway

wannabett: and thats what i... uh,, really like about you!!

wannabett: hold on a sec i have to go my moms calling me!

veroffica: at 12:18 am?

veroffica: aaaand you're already gone.

12:18 AM

wannabett + jugheadalones

wannabett: hey jughead quick question

jugheadalones: i did mention earlier that i was going to go to sleep right??

wannabett: please this is really important

jugheadalones: fine, go for it

wannabett: okay hypothetical situation here

wannabett: say this one girl (lets call her lili) has this best friend (lets call her cami) but at one point lili almost says "and thats what i love about you" to cami

wannabett: what does that mean?? is it just a normal platonic friend thing??

jugheadalones: so, this is all strictly theoretical, correct?

wannabett: yes obviously any and all resemblance to real people is purely coincidental haha

jugheadalones: then id say that lili might actually have more-than-platonic feelings for cami

wannabett: do you really think so??

jugheadalones: yep

wannabett: so in this purely made-up circumstance... what should lili do?

jugheadalones: i think that lili should seriously consider telling cami about her feelings for her

jugheadalones: she just might be surprised by what cami says back

wannabett: okay thank you jug

wannabett: for your help on this definitely fake thing that clearly did not occur with undoubtedly nonexistent characters

jugheadalones: sure thing betty

jugheadalones: just next time dont wake me up at midnight

[jugheadalones is offline]

12:23 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: hey im back

veroffica: finally! it took you long enough!

veroffica: what did your mom want?

wannabett: huh?

wannabett: oh yeah she wanted me to... wash some dishes

veroffica: at 12:18 in the morning??

wannabett: yep its all part of my punishment for getting detention

veroffica: i thought your punishment was just being grounded for one day?

wannabett: well theres also a list of chores that i have to do for her that she can cash in at any point

veroffica: no offence betty, but is your mom satan?? that sounds awful!

wannabett: none taken, she indubitably is

wannabett: and im used to it by now

veroffica: still... i wish i could do something to help.

wannabett: let me move in with you

veroffica: what??

wannabett: thats what you can do to help! i could move into the pembrooke with you if your mom says its okay!

veroffica: i don't know, b... don't you think it's kind of a big step? and what about your mom?

wannabett: what about her? polly didnt ask mom when she moved in with you

wannabett: i understand if you dont want to, but just think about it for a second

wannabett: it would be like having a sleepover every night!

veroffica: i'm still not sure...

wannabett: plus ive been wanting to get closer to you and this could be just what i needed

veroffica: well, i'm on board! i just have to text my mom, she's on a business trip.

12:29 AM

veroffica + mayorlodge

veroffica: hey mom, can betty come live with us?

mayorlodge: does this have any particular reason, or did betty just finally realize that her mother is a bitch?

veroffica: mom!!

mayorlodge: what? i went to school with alice, and she wasn't half as bad then as she is now. i blame hal.

mayorlodge: in fact, she used to be a southside serpent!

veroffica: i know, mom. betty told me.

mayorlodge: leather jackets, flannel... she was gorgeous.

veroffica: if you weren't my mom, i would say 'go for it,' but since you are, i'm going to say 'gross' instead.

mayorlodge: don't give me that. you know as well as i do how easy it is to fall for the cooper women.

veroffica: what are you implying?

mayorlodge: mija, I want you to answer me honestly: do you or do you not have feelings for betty?

veroffica: i... i don't know.

mayorlodge: think about it. and in the meantime, betty can stay over.

veroffica: thanks, mom!

mayorlodge: on one condition, though--alice approves. i don't want to be getting calls from the police because she thinks i'm illegally harboring one of her children.

veroffica: but betty's mom would never agree to this!

mayorlodge: then convince her otherwise.

mayorlodge: goodnight, mija.

[mayorlodge is offline]

12:35 AM

veroffica + wannabett

veroffica: she's in!

wannabett: yes!!!

veroffica: there's one thing, though...

wannabett: oh no

veroffica: your mom has to give her consent.

wannabett: shit

wannabett: stupid minor laws!

wannabett: i guess ill go ask her

wannabett: but im going to do it over text i dont want to be near her when she flies into a rage

veroffica: good luck! please don't die, i'll miss you too much!

wannabett: ill try v

12:38 AM

wannabett + acoop

wannabett: hey mom

acoop: Betty? You do realize that we live in the same house, right?

acoop: Also, what do you want and why are you texting me at this hour?

wannabett: ummmm

wannabett: can i go stay with veronica?

acoop: The Lodge girl?? At the Pembrooke??

wannabett: yes

acoop: For how long?

wannabett: indefinitely

acoop: I'm going to talk to Hermione and then I'll get back to you on this.

wannabett: wow that sounded a lot less like a no than i expected

acoop: Don't push it, Elizabeth.

wannabett: what i meant to say was thank you mother for this incredible opportunity!!

acoop: I haven't agreed yet, Betty.

wannabett: i meant thank you for considering this. it means a lot to me.

acoop: ...Of course.

acoop: Now, you should get some sleep while I consider this further. I'll get back to you later.

12:41 AM

acoop + mayorlodge

acoop: Is this Hermione?

mayorlodge: yes... alice?

acoop: You still have the same phone number from back when we were in high school.

mayorlodge: alice, it's the middle of the night. why are you texting me?

acoop: I have reason to believe that our daughters are going down the same path we once did.

mayorlodge: so you see it too?

acoop: Yes. The two of them are as close as we were back in high school, and we both know where that led.

mayorlodge: i don't want veronica to get her heart broken like i did, but it isn't like we can stop them.

acoop: I'm not talking about this with you right now.

mayorlodge: then when?? ever since we broke up, you've been saying you 'don't want to talk about it,' but it's been DECADES, alice.

mayorlodge: and i thought that i was okay with having no resolution and no explanation, but then at the sodale project opening i saw you in that goddamn red dress, and it all came back to me.

acoop: I'll admit that I regret giving into my parents' wishes and breaking up with you, but it wasn't like there were any other options.

mayorlodge: there are always other options.

acoop: So you're saying that you would've agreed to run away from Riverdale with me, riding around from town to town on my motorcycle?

mayorlodge: ...i would've liked that.

acoop: ... Really?

acoop: It doesn't matter anymore, though. What matters is now. We may not be able to stop Betty and Veronica from falling in love, but we can make sure that we don't end up pushing them apart like our parents did.

mayorlodge: exactly.

acoop: Which is why I want to give Betty my blessing to move in with Veronica.

mayorlodge: you do??

acoop: Why does everyone seem so surprised by this?? I do have a heart!

mayorlodge: trust me, i know.

acoop: Actually, on that note, I was wondering...

mayorlodge: yes?

acoop: When you get back in town, would you like to get a milkshake at Pop's with me, for old time's sake?

mayorlodge: alice cooper, are you asking me on a date?

acoop: Yes I am, Hermione Lodge.

mayorlodge: well, all you had to do was say so.

mayorlodge: i get back on friday. i'll see you then and we can figure out if we still have that same explosive chemistry we used to.

acoop: It's a deal. And if the date just happens to make it back to my house... Well, we'll have it all to ourselves.

mayorlodge: i like the way you think. goodnight, alice.

acoop: Goodnight, Hermione.

[mayorlodge is offline]

1:02 AM

acoop + wannabett

acoop: You can stay with Veronica for as long as you want.

wannabett: really?? thank you so much!!

acoop: Just make sure that you've cleared out by Friday night.

wannabett: why, do you have a hot date?

acoop: The hottest.

wannabett: i was kidding mom!!

acoop: Well, I wasn't.

wannabett: ugh tmi

acoop: Have fun at Veronica's!

[acoop is offline]

1:04 AM

wannabett + veroffica

wannabett: my mom is cool with it!!

veroffica: are my eyes deceiving me, or did alice cooper actually allow her underage daughter to move out??

wannabett: its insane isnt it? she said that she has a date on friday so that might be why shes so mellow

veroffica: hmm, do you think that it's one of the hot dads of riverdale™ or some new contender??

veroffica: maybe... one of the hot moms of riverdale™ (lesser known but just as hot)?

wannabett: whoever it is they seem to make her happy so i approve

wannabett: also i really hope that they dont break up and return my mom to her former angry state

wannabett: so lets take advantage of this while we still can!

veroffica: i can have smithers drive us over to your house tomorrow after school and then we can pack up your stuff! sound good?

wannabett: sounds great. i can't wait, see you tomorrow v!

veroffica: ditto, b.

[veroffica is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

2:28 AM

beronica shippers

spillthefogarTEA: guys i was just talking to archie and he told me that he has some hot tea to spill about our favorite oblivious wlw!! can i temporarily add him to the chat?

hisshissmotherfucker: why were you talking to andrews hes an asshole

hbicheryl: archie isnt an asshole hes a dumbass

hbicheryl: youre just jealous sweet pea

hisshissmotherfucker: why would i be jealous of ginger troy bolton??

hbicheryl: uh because youre jealous of anyone else who spends time with fangs??

nopeaz: ooh yes expose him baby

spillthefogarTEA: as much as i appreciate sweet pea not wanting me to talk to archie and choni trying to find ulterior motives in everything he says, i still need an answer to my question! can i add him or not?

hbicheryl: im all for learning whatever "heterosexual" nonsense b&v have gotten into this time

nopeaz: ^^

spillthefogarTEA: sweets?

hisshissmotherfucker: hes a fucking NORTHSIDER

spillthefogarTEA: please? for me?

hisshissmotherfucker: ...fine.

spillthefogarTEA: great! im also going to add jughead and kevin while im at it because they are both also beronica shippers in their own right

spillthefogarTEA has added jugheadalones, goingtoheller, and arch to the chat

spillthefogarTEA: for those of you who dont know--jughead and kevin--archie has some fresh beronica gossip, you in for listening?

goingtoheller: hell yes, lay it on us.

jugheadalones: i supoose since im already awake and probably too invested in their relationship

jugheadalones: but the next time these two do something interesting, it better be at a time when im NOT TRYING TO SLEEP

hbicheryl: lmao doubtful but sure

spillthefogarTEA: archie, please begin your tale

arch: so i was sitting in my room lifting weights when i saw, with my super-good eyesight, betty texting veronica

arch: and through my undoubtedly-impossible-and-kinda-creepy observance, i noticed that betty is pulling a polly!!

goingtoheller: she's pregnant with one of the blossom twins' (by now, it's just cheryl though lmao) twin children??

arch: no...

jugheadalones: shes been sent to the sisters of quiet mercy?

arch: no

hbicheryl: shes given birth to my children and has given them horrendous names like juniper and dagwood??

arch: no!! this is too hard to guess, so ill just tell you. she wants to move in with veronica at the pembrooke!

nopeaz: what did she say?? "hey, i want to live with you, but like, platonically"??

arch: um essentially

arch: but then i observed something that is both MUCH more shocking and a significant development!!

arch: mrs cooper and mayor lodge used to be dating, mayor lodge is gay for mrs cooper in that red dress that she wore to the sodale opening, and theyre going to a date on friday!!

arch: the end! have fun gays, gotta go!

arch has left the chat

goingtoheller: well, that is... a lot to process.

hbicheryl: i relate to hermione lodge

hbicheryl: because i also want to be rawed by alice cooper in that dress

nopeaz: id feel threatened if i didnt also know that alice cooper is also essentially your great cousin in law

hbicheryl: oh darling dont you know that incest runs in the family?

hbicheryl: jason and polly, my mother and my father... and thats just the tip of the iceberg

nopeaz: im concerned again

hisshissmotherfucker: so to summarize the lodges and coopers are gay for each other and archie has freaky good eyesight that is not humanly possible but is necessary to the story because it helps add important info to the plot??

goingtoheller: when you say it like, it sounds like we're characters in a book.

hisshissmotherfucker: honestly i always thought of myself as more of a character in a fanfiction for a bad cw show

2:38 AM

jugheadalones + wannabett

jugheadalones: ive just been informed by archie that you are planning to move in with veronica

wannabett: what the hell?? how did archie know that??

jugheadalones: he said he saw your texts from his room

wannabett: damn his terrifying and freakishly good eyesight

jugheadalones: so... this wouldnt happen to have anything to do with lili and camis mythical dilemma, would it?

wannabett: nahhh of course not

jugheadalones: well, if you ever do need to talk, im here for you, okay? i may not be good at giving relationship advice, but ive been told that im a good shoulder to cry on.

wannabett: whenever i need help ill make sure to talk to you first, but im really okay now. thanks jug.

jugheadalones: ofc

[jugheadalones is offline]

[wannabett is offline]

Notes: Alice and Hermione have too much sexual tension to have not dated in high school, and the flashback episode pretty much only proves it. I mean, did you see Alice when she was younger?? That whole look screams lesbian! Anyways...

Comments validate me!! You can leave 'em here or at my ao3 account, lgbtqshipper, where pretty much all I do is complain about Riverdale and how I wish that it was gayer (so nothing different).

In the next chapter, Betty will finally be forced to answer for her sins oblivious homosexuality ft. Choni sexts (again, but I swear, this is the last time)!!

[heartsoftruth]

1/Hi, I apologize in advance for this long message but I just wanted to ask you if you had ever received insults or criticisms or even guys who harassed you because you're a girl who loves football? I'm asking you this because I live this constantly. Yesterday when Barça won the CDR I was so happy so I shared my joy on my social media and I commented on some FB publications related to the match and the majority of ppl on these pages are men so I have only received insults degrading messages.

Anonymous said:2/I was told to go back to the kitchen, that I should go back to clean, that I loved Barça only for cute players or that I probably didn’t know anything about football and was probably repeating what men around me were saying to look smart,.. I will not tell you everything they told me but it was really degrading and mean, I absolutely did not say anything bad, there were comments from guys who writed bullshit on the post but no one answered them but under mine there was like 100 replies.

Anonymous said:3/And I just wrote “I’m so happy and sad at the same time, I will miss Andres so much, it will not be the same without him..” On my other comments also I received insults like "Come suck my c*ck, you will be more useful” “oh a girl trying to make herself interesting by loving football” “shut your mouth bitch it’s a page for men here, go back to cook” And all that just because I’m a girl, if it had been a man who had commented the same thing they would have agreed with him.

Anonymous said:4/It’s unbelievable that a woman can’t love football as much as a man do without being looked at or asked to justify why she really loves football because if a girl likes football it’s surely because she’s in love with the players or wants to fuck with them or that she invents it to have the attention of men, because it is impossible that a woman can really love or understand football, so when it happens I have to justify myself so that they are convinced that I really like this sport..Anonymous said:5/It’s sad that in 2018 for a lot of ppl women = cooking, doing housework, pleasing men and keep quiet. Usually I avoid going into the football debates of my male friends or those of my family because they automatically make fun of me and my opinion is irrelevant. So if you have a vagina your brain is too stupid to understand football and enjoy it? I’m tired of having to hide my passion for football because I risk being insulted. It’s sad because I know I’m not the only one who suffers this..

Anonymous said:6/I discovered football when I was a child, I quickly became a big fan, I even played it many years but growing up my dad start laughing at me and telling me that I should be more interested in girls stuff and he asked me which player I was as much in love to continue to love football like that and the men around me told me that women’s football was not real football so I should stop playing it, my mother also agreed that I should stop because she was afraid that her daughter become a tomboy.

Anonymous said:7/I was stupid enough to believe theses bullshit and I stopped playing at my club. Yes I am feminine in general, I also like makeup, dresses, shoes and stuff like that but sometimes I like to wear my Barça jersey or football outfits too and when I walk in the street with it I get glances, guys who come to talk to me or say that I’m ridiculous with my jersey, one day 2 guys even come to ask me questions on the club to see if I really know about Barça and that it’s not just to get attention..

Anonymous said:8/It’s tiring and exhausting, I’d like to love this sport without suffering all that, what’s the deal with that, it’s a sport among many, why it’s impossible to let a girl enjoy this sport without belittling her? Why is it so difficult for men to believe that we really love this sport too without necessarily wanting to fuck with players? I’m tired, it’s getting depressing and with all the insults I received yesterday I feel like I’m going to be crazy, I really wanted to cry because of my anger..

Anonymous said:9/If you or the followers of your blog undergo this too, can you tell me how you do to support it or to finish with that please? And if there are guys who follow your blog I’d like them to explain to me, if they do these things, just why ? Why a woman who loves football should deserve so much hate and criticism and why it’s as difficult for guys to accept that women can love football too? I’m really sorry again for this long message but I’m really fed up.. 😫

Heey girlie!! OMG dont apologize for the long message! I feel like you needed to vent a little and then it’s 100% better to just write it all down instead of keeping it in. and DAMN you had all the reasons to vent, because what those neanderthals wrote to you MAKES MY BLOOD BOILLLLLLLLL FUUUUUUCK!!!

BOOOOOILLLLLL!!!! 

Im gonna reply to the parts in parts because otherwise the answer will be an unstructured mess. 

½/3: I dont even know where to start with my first off all comment with this ask! But pffff. It;s so so soooo sad that in 2018 people like that put comments under just a very normal and very correct post. It’s also really sad because probably right now you will think twice before commenting something under a footy Facebook thing. 

AND PLEAAAAASEE! Let me know what kind of FB page that is? I am literally fuming and almost on the verge of making a Twitter account for my Tumblr page to post it on here. It’s not fucking normal that when a girl says something about football guys talk like that. It’s not and it’s not ok. 100 replies under your comment? And all like that?? Pfff. Damn. FUMINGGGGG. 

I can understand you feel bad about it bc of all these people jumping on some kind of bandwagon behind their PC’s. Insecure bunch of dicks! 

4/5: Indeed we women have to know WAAAY more about football then men, because if we dont then we’re not serious about it or only watch it for the guys. “YESSSSS!!! THATS TOTALLY TRUE!!!! I watch 90+ minutes of football just for a few close-ups of the football players I like!!!11!1 Makes total sense” said no women who watches football ever. 

6/7/8/9: aaawhh… That is so sad… :( I can’t imagine how that must have felt as a child to be doing something you love but your parents make it out to be as if it was wrong. Not every girl likes pink and barbies just like not every guy likes blue and cars/football. Indeed I also love make up and getting dressed up etc etc. But I also love sitting in a cafe and watching football with a beer or something haha. 

I never wear a football shirt on the streets - unless im going to a match or watch in a cafe - today was the first time actually in my yellow PSG shirt haha. But no one said anything to me (other than a few hey girl). But it’s sad we have to prove something to these idiots… 

I think we’ve sadly all have had an experience like that. When I was younger and asked my friend at her party (or whatever it was) to see the football score a guy was like “what??? You dont watch it? Well then explain to me what off side is?!” That was the first time some guy asked me it and I did do it, but when someone would ask me it now I said: “You would ask a guy that too who says he watches football? Nope huh? So I won’t show you either!”

In Paris also on the way to the hotel the Uber driver was talking etc etc. And we spoke about football and I said how excited I am to finally see Neymar and hope he’s not injured anymore (because at the time he was stil injured and unclear if he would play) and all that blabla. And in one moment he said (in a joking way) oh you’re only here to see Neymar other than that you dont watch it. And I gave him a reality check real quick. My friend wanted to interfere and talk over it and I was like no no noooo. Lemme say my peace. 

Or at work people know I also love Neymar and then one new colleague thought it was funny (and maybe cool in front of the other guys) to say I only watch football for Neymar. And I gave him a reality check too. 

I used to bite my tongue when it came to that, but nowadays I’m like nope. I dont watch so much football for some insecure dick to be talking like that to me. 

But theres also many guys who you can just have a normal convo with about football. Like yesterday I had one with a guy I didn’t know and he was so chill. Or when I’m in the bar watching you also have guys normally coming up like are you also this nervous etc etc. During the Euro’s too. Met many friendly people who just spoke to us about football. Ok and s

What I also think is one of the problem is because many girls indeed just wear a shirt because it looks cute (which they of course can), but it makes it more difficult for us to be taken serious. Especially with tournaments like the Euros and WC many just watch football bc it’s fun with everyone in a cafe but they have no idea what they’re watching. And end up only confirming some of the thoughts by these neathertals. 

Can I ask you where you’re from btw?And please do tell which bs ass fb page you posted this one. I would be a good thing to create all these accounts to back you up or something. 

And indeed I’m curious too how other followers react to stupid comments like that?

And keep watching the sport you love girl! I know its tough at times being doubted to often for just watching something you like but lets hope that someday no one will question why we watch the sport we love. 

[strawberryspeachy]

I wonder if im about to get fired again

Last year i got fired because a teacher who acted like he wanted to be my friend hated when I reciprocated that want.

Ive worked with about 55 other teachers since him and none of them

Ask about my weekend every week. Ask about my friends. Ask about my personal life. Stare at me in the office. Lean over me and touch me. Come look through my folder that im holding to just point out the paper im looking for (they just offer me a new one if they think i dont have it)

But. I was totally stalking him. And got fired.

Now im working at 2 schools

One with 4/5 horrible teachers

The other with 4/5 wonderful teachers

At the horrible teacher school one has been (and i dont say this about people often. Actually ever. I assume ppl hate me... but this woman has bee - well)

K so i made a newsletter for the schools. The good school put it out for the students and that was that. The bad school told me i could distribute it. So i asked this teacher where

She took me into the hallway and showed me a board. She told me to put the papers on those walls. And then she gave me pins. So i did.

Then she told my company i put papers up without permission

Ive worn the same clothes to all 7 schools ive worked at plus two camps. Never got a complaint. Until now. She complained about my skirt and socks

She said in a fly away statement when i started that because were teachers we cant travel because of corona and must stay home - it irriated me because i clearly understood that she was telling me that i need to stay home when im not working. Fuck that! But i just agreed with her. Her first question after my summer break was “you had a long vacation, did you go anywhere”

She asked in a happy voice - pretending that was wanted to hear about something exciting. But. Bitch i have a good memory. I told her i mostly stayed home and only went to a nearby town.

K so like. Thing is. She knows im probably lying (cause im young and not from this country. No one would stay home for a month) so the way she responded was kinda pissed off that she cant prove me wrong or report me or anything - then in the middle of class she asked about my housemates

1) i have no control over them

2) your first question was already invasive and this is stupid

3) youve asked me a question that i cant answer correctly. If i say i dont know youll say i might have corona because my housemates probably brought it home. If i say they went out - same thing. If i say they stayed home - another obvious lie. I told her that they are all students and had class so I think they were home. Again. She was annoyed by this answer

She constantly makes side remarks about “foregners”

She wont translate the questions that students ask her to ask me - and when i understand them and answer she acts flustered and annoyed

Shes bad at english and writes shit incorrectly - gives it to me to cold read - then gets mad when i trip over shit thats written incorrectly

She changed the song early last month because I liked it

She talks to me like im a clown hindering the class - walking over and telling me (a person standing quietly waiting for instruction) that now the students must study - the way a parent would tell a 7 year old not to bother the sleeping dog.

I TRIED to have a normal conversation with her because she seemed to be trying and i felt bad. She said it was hot and cold off and on and told me what temperature it would he the next day in celcius. I just said oh. And felt the tention. So i tried to ease it by chuckling and telling her “sorry. You know how america uses Fahrenheit? I dont really understand celcius.” She immediately —- wait hold on

This school makes us write down our temperature in the morning as though that does ANYTHING to stop corona - they dont even check - she harrassed me upon walking in the door to WRITE DOWN MY TEMPERATURE

—- k so no. No easy conversation. She immediately got serious and went how do you understand celcius for your body temperate then??? I told her i convert it.

A couple periods late she inturrupted another teacher talking to me about class and stopped me from going to class to ask me ‘if you dont know celcius how do you write your temperature down in the morning?!?’’ I told her i have a japanese thermometer and just write down what it says. Then she tried to play if off and chuckled like - oh ha i was just wondering. Whats the difference (her face was like enraged before that btw) she asked what the average temperature in Fahrenheit is and i quickly spit out 98.6 while grabbing my book to leave for the class i was now running late for

Shes full on feuding with a boy who “CANT SPEAK JAPANESE” and is “NOT JAPANESE” she tried not to bitch but also bitch about him to me - through this i learned that his mom is Australian. He was born in Japan. Also if her english didnt suck so much she would know that hes not fluent in english

She like the other teachers ask me questions that they dont want answers to. And sometimes is not even just - i wanna write this sentence wrong - does it make sense

No. It doesnt (correct answer- anything you write is correct. Dont worry. Dont ask me. Your perfect)

A couple weeks ago she told me that the song the other teacher chose is a japanese song that was translated into english. She asked it its gramattically correct. I told her that songs dont need to be grammatically correct so its fine. Then she asked me if it makes sense. I told her that its a bit vague but its fine.

She didnt know what vague meant. She asked me to write it down so she could look it up later. Not sure how she took that as an insult but Im sure she did.

And the song is vague. Id figured out that it was a song that was either written for a weird tv show or translated from something else before she even told me

Shes always late for class. She doesnt even leave for class until the bell rings. If she walks in and i was talking with the students - she looks highly uncomfortable - so ive stopped talking to them before she arrives

She wont let them ask me questions. Only her (these past two points go for the other crappy teachers too)

She cant make up her mind whether she wants me to say hello first or her. She cant make up her mind on what she wants me to read or whether she wants me to stop at commas or read full paragraphs or what - and she gets annoyed when i cant read her mind avout it —the others do this too

She reads sentences she wrote (incorrectly) out loud even more wrong - but apparently (going from her face) even though she doesnt know the word for fucking SENTENCES - and calls them “englishes” she heard me add the s to a word that should have been plural but she wrote as singular. She never says the fucking plurals or adds them where they shouldnt - but of course she heard my quick slip of adding an s onto a fucking word

- which really just shows thats she pays way more attention trying to find me doing something wrong than literally ANYTHING ELSE she does

Theres more. Im tired. And so very stressed. Tomorrow i have a meeting after school which i told my company rhat if they want my time they should pay me for it and told them theyre welcome to come to my schools (the one i like and normally can he stress free and get home early from) station

They made up bs as to why they can pay others but not me but did say theyre gonna come to the station

Last tome with the fucking “hanging stuff up without permission” i was of couse told i was in the wrong (BECAUSE JAPANESE CAN DO NO WRONG) and forced to say that i need to communicate better 3 times

Howd i start this? Watch me get fired? Yea i was fired on like the 23rd last year. Watch me get fucking fired again - for again. One racist ass peice of shit teacher

“Well you just gotta suck it up and accept where you are on the food chain” k look. Do you know how much easier and less stressed id be if i was able to do that?! I just. CANT ok. I refuse to think that i am less of a person than any other person. People can treat me that wat and do all they want. But i refuse to think that i am lesser. I am a person. And if i have to respect them they should respect me. Its a reciprocal fucking thing i cant fucking kiss ass

I lived in a house with a woman who wanted me to kiss her ass - and i basically chose not to be treated like a dormat and pike she was my lord. And thus got mentally and emptionally abused for 24 years.

I cant fucking kiss ass. I can be polite. But i cant kiss fucking ass dude. I just cant

[kappasigmalife]

Eternal Purgatory: Chp 2 Daddy did what?

dedicated to my loving cub: http://875mg.tumblr.com/

Eternal Purgatory: Chp 2

Daddy did what?

As Chris and Helen begin staring at each other, its perfectly clear they both died sometime between each other and continuously look around trying to figure out what might of happened. As it turns out helen was under a lot of stress the past few months regarding her scholarship to school and was resorting to illegal methods to keep up her grade. While the two are not too close, they found each other the summer before college started and connected finding out about josephs private life away from home. Both Helen and Chris have a certain level of disgust for the situation and resolve to find out what is going on by their clever dean.

Helen looks at Chris dressed in his flannel and pants, and remarks he looks nothing like himself

“seriously you were so prim and proper, now you look like something out of a chevy commercial.” Chris raises his eyebrow retorting he is indeed out of his own mind for being comfortable.

“well little miss fussy, I may be in country wear now, but then again I’m free to do as I will for I no longer have a parental belt spanking my ass every day, so I’ll be however I wish to be.” The cloaked man trys to reason with the two getting their attention, only to keep hearing the squabble of sibling rivalry in the works, slowly getting a bit ticked, he pulls a scythe out and slams it on the ground.

“That’s enough from the peanut gallery, it appears Arthur once again fails to give me the information I need, so to keep my peace of mind and my high from being ruined by incessant bullshit, go to his office and get the story straight, before coming back here and ruining what was supposed to be my day off.” Robby jumps in and jokes of how the cloaked man’s work is never done cause of all the things the housemates do around the place.

“Yeah reefer, don’t you know, every other day your filling out paperwork to get the insurance to rebuild the cemetery, house, car, and forest after Paul is done with it.”

Reefer places his skeletal hand over Robby’s mouth reminding him of his duties as head of the house and as a watchman of the ghosts within the house. He looks at Paul with a blank stare and wonders why he does so much damage in such a short amount of time. Paul just stares back pausing his game shrugs his shoulders responding to the silence.

“hey man its not my fault that theres a bunch of spiders everywhere, you know I hate them and literally burn them every chance I get.” Reefer looks at out the window and sees the car is bursting into flames.

“Paul, care to explain when that happened? Cause I just got the car back two days ago.”

Paul smirks and looks dead in reefers eyes and in the most deadpan tone.

“It was in the glove compartment, so you know the rest.”

Chris and Helen look back at one another and slowly creep out the house as reefer begins lighting up a joint to get his mind off the crap hes gonna have to do later. Walking down the street helen and chris walk past a lot of the student housing and notice there are surprisingly dingy houses on the block and shudder at who may live in such tarnished quarters. Chris cracks jokes about Arthur probably being a cheap shit and using the school funds to use on the theology department or on his armor shining, trying to compensate for a lack of quote personality.

“literally, the guy carrys Excalibur around like it means anything, like we get it you’re a holy man with a holy sword, but stop being a holy shit.” Helen busts a gut laughing at the dean and notes that his hair looks like it takes hours to do, and how hes probably after one of the altar boys in the church.

“Watch out Charlemagne, Arthurs packing his own blade for the boys, and I bet its a few inches bigger than yours.”

As the two laugh, they see a circle of fire erupt in front of them causing a commotion of screams and terror among the two. Out comes a woman dressed in chainmail and stares directly at the two folding her arms over.

“so you two like making jokes about the dean, well let me tell you something, he doesn’t appreciate it and youd better show more respect to the man who saved you.” Chris chuckles and responds holding back his laughter.

“your telling me that a man who brings college students to purgatory after they die to learn for all eternity is saving us, lady hell would be a better reprieve from real life than this place.” Helen holds her hand over her mouth and tries to fight back the laughter only to respond back.

“Right, I mean what kind of classes would we take, floating 101, baking with ectoplasm, gender studies, id rather be back at real college.” The woman looks at both of them and realizes they are new and lets them have a pass as they do not have any sense of how the school works.

“oh I see you need to register, I get it, please follow me to the deans office he must of wanted you moved in before setting up a schedule, no big deal, and btw I’m Professor Arc.

Chris’s eye widens and gasps, coming to his senses of who the woman is.

“The circle of fire, the chainmail, the strong feminist overtones, Arc, your Joan of Arc.” The woman tells Chris he is correct and that many important figures live in purgatory as teachers, while many travel around helping in society or do as they did when they were alive. Chris and helen arrive at arthurs office again only to be welcomes by him to discuss their concerns.

Arthur looks at both of them trying to get them to sit and hear him out on the troubling news that has occurred.

“children I know this may sound off, but your re…..” Chris cuts him off only to bluntly state.

“yeah were fucking related, old news dude, were not 6.” Arthur blankly stares at them and asks how they could possibly know they were brother and sister. With Helen cutting him off once again.

“Cause our dads an asshole and left when my mom was having an addiction, then got a new wife and had two others he cast as failures in life, I found chris last summer and we chatted, honestly I dodged a bullet with this family.” Chris interjects.

“you were the lucky one.” As the two begin smiling at the fact they could make up for lost time, paul appears from Arthurs phone to look at the bother of them and give a thumbs up and cracking a joke at their expense.

“Hey, heard you guys over the phone, when are you going to be on jerry springer?”

Chris just looks at Paul confused over what is going on and wonders how’s he capable of performing such a feat.

Paul tells him it’s his spectral power and everyone has one, over time they soon will discover theirs, and takes Arthurs wallet before passing into the phone.

Arthur’s eye twitches as he takes a breath and asks if there’s anything else that is needing answers.

Chris just stares at the phone and shakes his head.

“no im just the right amount of mindfucked today, I’m going to go take a nap.”