#theres one or two that i just sort of picked up out of my weird necessity to ship all my self insert ocs with a canon character

[scarycranegame]

like how everyone else on this site is like "omg the feeling of seeing your f/o for the very first time!!!" and meanwhile when i saw them for the first time i was like "oh, cool guy you got there, canon" and then 3 weeks later my brain goes "hye guess what :D"

[itsmarsss]

Vulgar Display of Power [Miguel Diaz x fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)

You can never fucking beat him in a fight and it's getting frustrating.

Request: omg more miguel please!!! smutty if u can xx already dating if you want? Fic title comes from my (second) favorite Pantera album. Word count: 4,350 Warnings: SMUT. established relationship, theres plot but it only serves to justify the sex lol, i use present tense in this, degrading, first time sub!miguel kind of, handjob, fingering, oral sex, penetration (p in v), semi-public sex (i guess? no one's around but the location isn't exactly private), a lot of use of pet names (baby, babe, love, mi amor), so much swearing. obviously no one is a minor here I don't mention much context but can be read as hs senior year or later, doesn't really matter. if you're a minor kindly keep away from my blog and this fic please

“Fuck!”  You yell out as Sensei Lawrence announces Miguel’s win. In turn of your frustration, Miguel sports a grin that playfully mocked you.

Now don’t get it twisted, you’re not a bad fighter. You’re not even a good one- you’re great. The best, except for…

“Diaz! Good one.” Sensei Lawrence praises.

“Nice, dude!” Hawk comes to fist bump him.

Tory comes to you. “Girl get it together! You’re better than that!”

“I’m fucking trying.”

Miguel hears the two of you talking and decides to insert himself into the conversation. “Come on, it’s not a big deal.”

“I say this with love but it is a big deal and I’m gonna find a way to beat you.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

[. . .]

“Hey,” you hear Miguel call from behind you, turning around for a split second to look at him before getting back to packing your stuff to leave the dojo. 

“Hey.”

“So, are we still on for tonight?”

“Yeah. I just wanna go home first and take a shower.”

He scratches the back of his neck. “Hey are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Something seems��� weird.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, babe,” you tell him, bringing a hand to his face and lightly tapping his cheek.

“You sure?”

“Yes! I just said it is!” You realize you blew up at him for no reason, immediately feeling bad for it and apologizing, not managing to look at him. “Sorry.”

“See? That’s what I mean!”

“I really am sorry.”

“Okay, but something’s clearly wrong.”

You stay silent, and he walks up to you, cornering you so you’d face him.

“What’s going on?”

Honestly, you don’t want to tell him. Because it would sound stupid. Because it is stupid. You don’t even exactly know why it had gotten so under your skin this time. 

“It’s fine. I’m just a bit off today.”

“You don’t have to talk about it, but you don't have to lie either.”

“Fine. You wanna know what’s wrong? I’m frustrated because you keep beating me.”

“What?”

“Every single time we’re picked to fight I just can’t fucking beat you. And yes, I’m glad you don’t go easy on me, cause that would be like a million times worse, but I'm frustrated with myself. You’re the only one I've never fully beat in a match. The closest I’ve ever gotten to that was a tie.”

“Well most of the time it ends up in a tie.” 

“Yeah but none of the time did it end with me winning.”

“I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.”

“Of course you don’t. I just feel like if I still can’t beat you then have I really been getting better?”

“What? That’s nonsense, babe. You know that, right? Of course you’ve been getting better. We all have.”

“See I told you it would be stupid. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way.”

“That’s okay. We can just sort that out.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll ask sensei for the keys.”

“What?”

“We’re gonna stay here and fight and we’re not gonna leave until you win.”

“That’s really not what I was trying to get from this-”

“What, are you scared?” He knew just how to tug on your strings. 

“Oh fuck no.”

“Then we’re doing this.”

“But what about the date?”

“We can go tomorrow. If you need my help today, I'll help you today.”

“Okay.”

[. . .]

“Alright, ready?”

You only nod your head yes, too focused to even speak.

“Okay. Round one.”

You get a couple punches in, but he’s faster than most of your hits. He wins..

You huff, annoyed. “Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Again.”

“Okay that’s it. Again.”

This time, determination runs through your veins, as tired as you were. Every single moment of feeling weak or inferior or as though you were seen by others as basically the female equivalent of Miguel, and not yourself, not someone capable of being better than him in any way, channeled into this round. 

And you won. This time, you fucking won. 

“Wait that’s three,” you realize.

“Yeah! You won!” Miguel celebrates.

“What?”

“You won, babe!”

“Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. I won?!”

He laughs, coming up to you. “You did.” He places a quick kiss on your lips, but you’re taken over by the adrenaline, pulling him back to you by the collar of his shirt when he went to pull away, tangling him into another kiss, deeper and more passionate this time around. “That was hot,” he comments, as you finally did let him part ways with you to breathe, your bodies still flushed together. 

You feel your cheeks burn at his comment. “I just kicked your ass,” you joke.

He doesn’t even seem fazed by the comment. “Yeah you did,” he grins.

“I did not expect that to unlock some sort of loser kink in you.”

“Hey! That’s not what this is!”

You lift an eyebrow, amused. 

“What, you’re telling me it’s a crime if my insanely hot girlfriend looks insanely hot while kicking my ass?”

“Should I kick your ass more often then?”

“You’re welcome to.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Shut up,” he retorts, finally having enough of the playful bantering, unable to wait a second longer to have your lips on his again. 

Miguel pulls you even closer to him- if that were even possible- by pulling on your waist, not wasting a second more before diving in again, pulling you into a kiss that is much more feral this time around. His actions scream that he wants you, and the high from having reached your goal and beat him in the last round mixed with the lust forming in you from seeing him so affected, so attracted to this, it feels good.

You suppose some people would maybe come into an issue if they found themselves in your place. Men aren’t exactly known for being great at dealing with women being better than them in… well, anything. But Miguel acted genuinely proud of you. Hell, he’d canceled your date night to help you with this because he realized it was important to you. And more than being supportive, he was turned on by your display of power. 

His kisses start trailing out of your lips, to your jaw, to the space below your ear. “You did so well, love. You should get something in turn, huh?”

Your mind was getting a bit foggy. Still, you join in playing his game. “I suppose I should. What are you gonna do?”

“Whatever you want me to,” he breathes out. Oh. That was definitely new. 

“Whatever I want?” He only nods, looking up at you, waiting to be told what to do. Holy shit, that was hot. “That sounds good.”

“Just tell me, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I promise,” he pleads. It was almost pathetic. You decide you’d never get enough of hearing him plead like that. You loved the times in which he was more dominant, but you could definitely get behind this too, no issues whatsoever.

You pretend to think. “I don’t think I will.”

“What? Why not?”

“I want you to guess.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“I- Uh- Ih-” he takes a deep breath. He liked that. You smiled. “I can do that.”

“Good boy,” you try, hoping he didn’t find it weird. 

Apparently, he didn’t. “Fuck. Fuck,” he lets out in almost strangled sounds, wordlessly dropping himself to the floor. He looks up at you with doe eyes, as if pleading for permission. You smile at him, signaling everything was okay. You cage his jaw with both your hands, and he closes his eyes for a moment, letting you play with his hair.

“You look so pretty like this,” you coo, and he feels it down his spine, his eyes fluttering open. 

“Sit.”

“What?”

“Sit,” he repeats himself, but it isn’t demanding. Not this time. 

“I heard you.”

“Sit, please, baby.”

You grin. You didn’t know you’d like this this much. “Of course, baby.” You sit down on the bench, legs closed. He parts them confidently, eyes not leaving yours as he does so slowly, positioning his body between them. With his face mere inches from yours, he looks up at you again. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He guesses. His cheeks red, he clearly looks embarrassed. It turned him on and it turned you on too. 

You nod eagerly, signaling he’d guessed right. He smiles and closes the distance between you, pulling you down and attaching his lips to yours. It starts out slow, tender, experimental- testing the waters. He grows eager pretty fast, though, kissing you harder, his hands traveling to either of your thighs and planting themselves there firmly, squeezing in a way that makes you gasp slightly in surprise. 

He pulls away just to tease you about it. That’s the kind of little shit he is.

“What was that for?”

“Nothing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” 

“Not this then?”

He squeezes your thigh again and you try to act unbothered.” He notices though, pleased with himself.

“Oh shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.”

He pulls you into a kiss again with no warning, more feral than before, his hand traveling upwards, inside the legs of the shorts you were wearing. 

“Take it off,” you pant out, a stern tone overtaking your words, and he complies without questioning. You smile, pleased with that. You lift your hips slightly for him and he throws the shorts somewhere on the floor behind you. 

He stares at your underwear for a few moments, as if lost in a trance. You laugh. “Hello? You here?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”

“Used to what?” You move a hand to caress his face. 

“The fact that I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”

“Aw, do you like that, baby? Does it turn you on?” You ask, your tone almost mocking him.

He only nods his head yes, looking embarrassed.

“That’s good.” You make a show to slowly take off your shirt, a sudden surge of confidence running through your veins at his words, discarding it along with the shorts behind you.  His eyes widen and he mumbles a few words, the volume of his words so low you couldn’t make it out for the life of you, before he just surges forward again, not aiming for your lips this time, but for your jaw. 

“What was that?” You manage to breathe out as he continues his trail of kisses along your jaw.

“What?”

“If you’re gonna talk you’re gonna let me hear it. Got it?”

“Oh-okay.” He continues to place quick, slight pecks along your jawline, but you know exactly what he’s doing.

“You’re not distracting me from that. I wanna know what you said, baby. Wanna hear you.”

“I said- I said uh-“ he gulps. “It’s dumb.”

“That’s okay.”

“I just said ‘fuck me’.”

You let out a small laugh. “Oh. It was dumb,” you mock him again, and you can see he didn’t expect that.

“What?”

“I though you wanted to fuck me,” you joke.

 He doesn’t take it as a joke. “I do. I do I just meant- it was just-“ oh. This was for real. 

“I know, love. I was just teasing you. Okay? You’re being so good to me.”

His eyes almost sparkle at the praise. 

“You know I think I changed my mind.”

“What?” 

“Maybe I should fuck you.”

“What do you mean?”

You look down on him and smile, a genuine sweet smile. “Get up.”

“But-“

“I thought you said you’d do whatever i wanted you to,” you fake-pout. 

He doesn’t say a word before standing back up. You do the same, keeping your body flushed to his. You slowly turn the two of you around, cornering him until the back of his knees hit the bench and pushing him to sit down on it. 

Standing in front of him, you tilt your head to the side as you take in the view. He looked disheveled as ever. You loved it. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes.

“I- I can take it off.”

“Yeah I think you should.”

“What… what do you want me to take off?”

“Let’s go with the shirt first, baby. How about that?”

He nods furiously. “Yeah I can do that,” he takes his shirt off in a millisecond, throwing it with your clothes on the floor. 

“Oh, you look so pretty,” you coo, stepping closer to him and lifting his chin up to look at you. You make your way around the bench to be behind him, and you can see him gulp in anticipation. Fuck, you were loving this a little too much. You trace his biceps with your finger. “Your arms, I love your arms, you know that? So big and strong,” you exaggerate, and he quirks an eyebrow at the suspicious comment. This doesn’t sound like it was getting to a nice praising place. “And your body, I mean your abs. Your thighs, your thighs are so pretty, baby,” you crouch a bit, still behind him, wrapping yourself around his back so you could snake your arms to his thighs, still only tracing them with a single finger. “So how come you lost to me like a bitch?”

That seems to remind him very well of what was happening.

“It- it was one time.”

“One time you lost to me. But you’ve barely ever won, have you?”

He stays quiet. 

“Come on, baby, talk to me…” you pout, snaking your arms around his torso and kissing his neck.

“N-no.”

“Did you like that you lost to me baby?”

Quiet again.

“Did it turn you on?” You whisper in his ear and you can feel him take in big a breath. .

He couldn’t even look at you .

“Oh, pretty boy, I wanna hear your voice!”

He gulps again. “It- it turned me on,” he confesses. 

“I never knew you were into this sort of thing.”

“Me- me neither.”

“Do you like it when I’m stronger than you? When I tell you what to do?”

You remove yourself from his body entirely, and he whips his head at record speed to look at you, desperate for your touch again. You circle the bench once again, standing in front of him. You grab his jaw and lifts his head up to look at you, your other hand messing with his hair. “So pathetic. I’ve barely done anything to you and you’re this hard.”

You finally sit yourself down on his thighs, legs on either side of his torso, and he immediately and instinctively grabs your ass ‘for support’ as he’s always insisted with a grin. 

“You’re so fucking pathetic you’ll do anything I tell you to. Won’t you?” You pout, tilting your head.

“I’ll- I’ll do anything you want.” 

“That’s a good boy,” you mess with and pet his hair again. You loved it when it was just long enough for his curls to appear. 

He shivers. “Can you say it again?”

“Oh, no can do, baby. You’ll have to keep being a good boy to earn it.”

“I’ll- I’ll be a good boy, okay?”

You nod silently, your arms draped around his neck, and you pull yourself closer to get access to his face. You kiss along his jawline slowly, paying extra attention to the spots just under his ears, which made him shiver like crazy. When you find it sufficient, you move down to his neck, and he lets you, tilting his head to the side. You kiss down his neck, trying your best to not leave any marks. He’s still shivering now, and you know him well enough to know he’s okay, but can’t resist teasing him a bit more. 

“Oh no, baby, you’re trembling! Is everything okay?” You feign ignorance.  He doesn’t reply. “Aw are you too horny to speak to me? Is that the issue?” You mock.

He lifts his hips for some friction, an involuntary tell that he was enjoying this too. “Aw, do you like it when I’m mean to you? Huh?” You lift his chin again. He begrudgingly nods his head yes. You smile and move your hand from his chin to his cheeks, squeezing both off them. “Does my baby like it when I’m in control? When I handle you like this? When I call you names?” 

He tries to reply, but can’t really with you squeezing his face like that. 

“Oh I can’t hear you baby!” You let go of his face. “You’re gonna have to say it again.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I- I like it when you’re mean to me.” 

“I know, baby boy. I can feel it.” With no other warning, you palm him through his shorts. He was impossibly hard. Knowing he was liking this was for sure improving your confidence. The moment your hand meets his crotch his breathing becomes unsteady and he thrusts his hips up again, wanting more. You start kissing along his neck as you keep feeling him up through the shorts, and then he is gone. He lets himself let out delicious moans you would play on repeat if you could, tilting his head back to grant you better access to his neck. He wants more, and you know he does. But you want to hear him say it. 

After a few minutes, he does. 

“Please take it off.”

You press a gentle kiss to his neck, containing a grin. “What are you talking about, babe?”

“My shorts, take them off, please. Please, take them off.”

You press a quick peck on his lips this time. “You beg so pretty, baby. I think I’ll need more of that.”

He looks confused.

“Anything I tell you, right?” 

He nods. 

“Good. Eat me out.”

His eyes widen at the bluntness of it all. And then he realizes what you meant by needing more of his begging: you weren’t going to solve his little problem all that soon. 

“I- yes. Yeah.” 

You pull yourself off of him and he stands up as quickly as humanly possible, grabbing your hand and yanking you to Sensei’s office, rushing to move everything that was on his desk. You catch his drift and pull yourself up to sit on it. You’re so enthralled you don’t even really have the time to rethink what you’re doing and where you are. Miguel gets himself on his knees, and the sight of it from above is breathtaking. 

“Are you sure you wanna be on your knees? They’re gonna hurt.” You ask him, seriously this time.

“I don’t care,” is all he says, dismissing the thought. He pulls you closer to the edge of the desk, and you let yourself lean back on your elbows. He brings a hand up your thigh and takes off your underwear, you lift your hips up to help. 

He brings both his hands to your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, opening your legs. 

He wastes no time before diving in, startling you when, in a second, his head is between your thighs while his hands squeeze them hard and his mouth is suddenly on you. 

He moves his tongue up and down your clit, occasionally circling around it. Now and then he takes a long lick, from your hole to your clit, letting out a moan from time to time as he tastes you, and he picks up on the shaky breaths and loud moans you let out at that (and the way your hands fly to his hair, slightly pulling it.) 

He moves his tongue to your hole, licking and kissing around it before getting it inside.

It makes you almost want to scream out his name. 

“Oh my god. You’re being so good to me, baby. Please don’t stop-” 

You can feel his smile. 

He takes one of his hands off of your thigh and moves it to thumb at your clit as he keeps fucking you with his tongue. The feeling is heavenly, but you can’t help but want more. 

“Your fingers.” Is all you say, and he gets it.

Normally in a situation like this he’d be teasing you in some way, but right now just the thought of upsetting you with that and having you leaving him to finish himself off, or something down that lane, got him quiet. 

He changes what he’s doing, going back to flicking your clit with his tongue, and slowly inserting one of his fingers. You decide you want to tease a bit more. “That all you got?” You challenge him, knowing exactly what you’re doing. He inserts another finger, not taking the care to do it slowly this time, and he pushes them deep inside you, curling them upwards to make sure you felt it.

You let out a moan that’s so pornographic you’re almost embarrassed at it, but you can feel him grin at it, pleased with the reaction. He keeps on, but at a slow pace. In other instances, you didn’t mind some slow, passionate sex. You loved it, even. But right now you wanted to be fucked.

“Harder.”

He pulls his head up to kiss you. You let him. As you make out, your taste still on his tongue, his fingers thrust harder, deeper inside you, making you moan into his mouth, which Miguel seemed to enjoy a little too much.

You can feel yourself brimming an orgasm, and your words become nonsense as he keeps on, your noises becoming so higher-pitched you can barely register you’re the one making them. 

“Fuck I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum. Holy fucking-“

It hits you suddenly, killing your train of thought. Your body trembles as he keeps thrusting his fingers into you, letting you ride out your high. He laps it all up gladly, but you pull him away, your clit oversensitive. 

That doesn’t mean you didn’t want more.

“Everything okay?” 

“Yes, baby. You were such a good boy. But I want you to fuck me now.” 

Miguel was still not used to you being this blunt. And honestly neither were you, for the matter. The words just kept coming out. 

“What- what do you want me to do?” 

You get close to his ear and whisper. “Whatever you want, baby.”

His eyes widen. Whatever he wants. 

 He pulls you off the desk and wordlessly takes you back to the locker room. He leaves you for a second to retrieve a condom from his bag. A prepared man, you’d say.

You manage to take a better look at him and laugh. He furrows his eyebrows together. “What?”

“You look so fucked out right now.”

He rolls his eyes at you and takes off his shorts, kicking them away. He goes to pull his boxers down but you stop him, stroking him in an agonizingly slow pace. He lets out a groan. “Please stop, I’m not gonna last.”

“Oh poor you.” You yank his boxers down. His dick is so hard it must be painful. And all from losing a fight and being called mean names. He walks the two of you backwards until your back is against a wall. He puts the condom on and looks at you for a green light. 

“Go on, baby.” 

He nods, pressing his cock into your hole slowly, letting you adjust to the intrusion.

“Fuck.” You breathe out.

“Was that a good fuck or a bad fuck? Does it hurt?”

“I’m alright. It was a good fuck.”

“Okay.” He hikes up one of your legs to his waist, and you think he’ll be content with that position, but he hikes up your other leg too, pressing your back even more firmly to the wall and supporting your weight by holding firmly onto the back of your thighs. 

“Woah what are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother responding, thrusting into you experimentally. 

“Holy shit.”

That is enough for him. His thrusts become harder, deeper, faster. He hadn’t realized just how desperate he was until now. 

Hitting the spot inside you that made you see stars with every thrust, it doesn’t take long for his breath to quicken and his thrusts to become sloppier. “I’m gonna- can I-“

Was he trying to ask for permission to cum? Holy fucking shit, that was hot.

“Shh, it’s okay baby. You’ve been so good. You can cum.”

“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he chanted.

 You laugh as his desperation, but it quickly turns into a moan, with Miguel eager to cum and fucking you so hard now you can’t even understand how he could still hold up your weight while doing that. Bless you universe for giving you a strong, strong boyfriend. But all of that didn’t matter now, because he was fucking you so good you could feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm building again.

“Please don’t stop.” That was the first time you begged him for something the whole time.

“I won’t, mi amor.” Oh, that broke you. That one pet name didn’t come out all that frequently, so when it did, you felt giddy on the inside. 

With a few more thrusts, both of you reach your high, and at that point Miguel did have to pull you down, although your legs currently trembled so hard it was a little difficult to stand, but he helps you out after tying the condom up and throwing it away.

“Holy shit,” you finally let out. 

“Holy shit,” he agrees. 

“What were you saying about your loser kink again?”

“Will you shut up about that?” He smiles.

“Was I too mean to you? I might’ve gotten a little carried away."

He looks down to the floor in embarrassment as if he hadn’t just fucked you into oblivion. “I liked it.”

“That’s good baby. So, shower?”

“Yeah you stink,” he makes a disgusted face, plugging his nose and everything just to irritate you. 

You roll your eyes at him. 

A/N: pls be kind to me and cut me some slack i've never posted smut before 😭 i promise ive had sex before 😭 fighting for my life lmao

[miiilowo]

Highlights / Notable info from the second Scott Cawthon Dawko interview for people who don't want to watch it

MISC/START OF INTERVIEW

- scott says the 1 thing he'd wanna go back and change/fix the past 10 years is FNAF world; said a lot of weird/bad decisions were made going into it, that he didn't like the graphics and it Could Have been a good game but he doesn't like it overall & he may consider making an improved sequel

- he was scared to hand FNAF over to steel wool but he thinks he got lucky w/ them

- refuses to play both FNAF VR games because they genuinely scare him too much; didn't want to beta test them (funny)

- he very much knows the fandom prefers pure horror and the supernatural but cant resist leaning into scifi stuff

- doesn't like the names burntrap and glitchtrap and they were supposed to be temporary

SECURITY BREACH

- half blames covid splitting up steel wools workforce for the games lack of quality and delays

- says his "vision of the game" was misaligned with steel wool, that he had a "very specific story in mind" for security breach and it didnt pan out like he wanted

- he takes fault for it, saying he conveyed it in a bad way; "I was trying to tell steel wool to do specific things throughout the game, put specific items in specific places, have specific characters do certain things, meanwhile not TELLING them what the story plot was. Because in my head, I was thinking 'Okay, when people find this, they'll connect this to this to this & it will all be revealed, and I thought I could do that without telling steel wool the story plot. That didn't work out very well because they got all of these pieces, and they thought it was their job to connect them in a way that made sense. And so really what you ended up having were the same pieces telling completely different stories...I don't blame them for that, I blame myself for that, because what I should have done was gone 'hey, heres the story, the pieces are here, here's how theyre supposed to connect'."

- burntrap originally even supposed to move; just supposed to see something you saw in between machinery or in corners, that you werent supposed to know his purpose even though he used to have a very specific one (that the fandom doesnt know)

- he knows it didnt turn out like anyone wanted & thats why they made the RUIN dlc, he hopes it redeemed security breach

- he said hes learned from that mistake with security breach and things should be better in the future

- he cannot share any thoughts on the mimic

- he likes vanny a lot, shes one of his favorites and he thinks that shes underutilized and should get more spotlight in the future

THE BOOKS

- process is 'he has an idea, he proposes it to the writers, they flesh it out'

- he likes bunny call the most, and that it's not entirely made up; he took his family to a summer camp. 2 older kids 2 babies. one of the things you could sign up for was a 'panda call' . a very 'deceiving title', he says. early in the morning, a bunch of the camp counselors dressed as killer clowns would come into your cabin and scare the kids to wake them up early and drag them off to do their daily activities (?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????) and he knew this was the case, & before it happened he started to sort of feel bad that he signed up his two youngest kids for it so he crept outside in the dark and 'started listening for screams' early in the morning. 'somewhere in the dark in these trees theres clowns and theyre coming for my cabin'

- acknowledges the fazgoo is weird and bad.

- the 'creature on the cover of blackbird is my sleep paralysis demon' (quite literally)

- says his least favorite story is the guy getting pregnant with springtrap's baby and that he Doesnt Know What He Was Thinking, that he swears he 'wasnt trying to pick on matpat'

- he says theres potential for the books to be adapted into shorts goosebumps style, but hes afraid it might be 'too much' and oversaturate the franchise

THE MOVIE

- he says a big issue was that there was material thats difficult to translate to the big screen; the nuance of the antagonists being that the animatronics are possessed by the spirits of innocent children, and he wanted to preserve the innocence of the victims while also having the horror and the kills, and thats a big part of why several screenplays got scrapped; he was more picky/cautious about that than anything else

- says the victims are sort of like 'confused, scared animals backed into a corner, who believe that adults are out to get them' & thats part of why they kill people + the manipulation from william afton

- he likes the movie overall but thinks specific things could be improved and they aim to do that with the second movie, but doesn't want to dwell on those shortcomings too much

- hes perfectly happy with critics hating it but the fanbase loving it & that was his goal for it

- when the movie began showing in theatres he said: 'i told myself i wasnt gonna go online i wasnt gonna read any reviews i had already told everybody at blumhouse and i told my legal team DONT talk to me DONT call me DONT email me DONT send me charts DONT send me facts or figures i dont want hear ANYTHING', saw 1 negative review on accident then started reading all of them immediately before the 2nd showing even happened

- 'for a couple of hours there i was distraught, i thought it was a complete disaster' (based off the initial negative critic reviews, before learning how much the fans loved it)

SECOND MOVIE

- Not giving away many details, but following the same formula; 1st movie based on 1st game, 2nd movie based on 2nd game, etc

- Thinks people will like it, that the setup for the 1st movie was the hardest part but now that they have that launch pad to go off of and hes really fond of what they have planned

- Emma Tammi is also directing the second one

INTO THE PIT GAME

- was originally just supposed to be a short novelty game, but they made something really good and he encouraged them to keep going & its turned into a full-fledged game

- he says its going to be a very 'unique experience' and that everyone will like it a lot

- says working with megacat (studio for the game) has been 'weird but good', that theyll vanish for several months and return with a bunch of info

SPINOFFS, GENERAL FRANCHISE STUFF, FUTURE PLANS

- Would want to work on a game based off of Fetch and that he thinks it'd be really cool

- Says he feels like he's sort of lost touch with the fanbase as things have gotten bigger

- Wants to have a better structure for managing a twitter page, official news feed, etc., wants more management than just Himself because it'd better service the fanbase

- He says theres another game planned with steel wool (not the mimic game) way down the line that hasnt been announced yet

- Making more choose-your-adventure fnaf book stuff

- He's 'very careful' with collaborations because he wants to preserve the fact its fnaf and he doesnt want it to be distorted or tainted, & even if he really really likes a game he won't do a collab if the vibes are mismatched, but he's a little more open to things like that now (but we have FNAF X DBD now! yay)

THE BOX.

- (paraphrased) His process for a lot of the lore in games is that he'll come up with half of a mystery and then come up with an answer as things progress, that he feels something is there and he makes the path for that thing to be revealed

- 'but sometimes when things progress the roads that have been put in place arent the same roads that were there before'

- he had something planned for the box. the progression of the story did not allow for the reveal of whats in the box

- he never pursued whats in the box. and he will never know whats in the box.

[priceforrottenjudgement]

Ive seen a lot of bitching about hotd in the tag, which surprised me bc there was none of this two weeks ago and now all these ppl are acting like season 2 sucks and its badly written and its rewriting the books and bla bla. This surprised me, so i did a little snooping

Like. First off, isnt grrm consulting them this time? I know he was doing it for s1 and im sure i read he was doing s2 too. I cant say anything about bad writing, tbh i havent examined it that closely bc nothing about pacing or dialogue has bothered me enough to spend time thinking about it.

The "its not like the book!!!" Thing really bothers me though bc have you read the book? Lmao im not so sure bc some of the stuff you complain about is so weird, also how did you miss that fire & blood has deeply unreliable narrators? It literally says gyldayn is an unreliable narrator on the Wikipedia, hes taking a bunch of biased sources and kind of patches the history of house targaryen together. If you had read the book, youd KNOW that it isnt a definitive chronicle and stuff was likely altered, embellished and left out. Some of the alterations make sense, because why would some maester know about these ppls private lives. Fire and blood is full of propaganda, rumours and bias. Also the stuff that WAS changed isnt really that deep? I really like the change to the rhaenicent dynamic (ill come back to this, theres a reason ppl seem to hate this change lmao), i dont care about maelor and the nettes changes dont bother me that much? (Some ppl are convinced rhaena will get the ENTIRE nettles storyline. Which would indeed suck cough cough, but i dont think thats where theyre going at all lmao)

So i took a look at some of the other opinions of ppl who really really HATE s2 and, WOOOOOOWWWWW,there sure is a lot of homophobia on the yuri Website huh? All of a sudden it makes sense why these ppl popped up 2 weeks ago huh? (And why theyre so bitchy about the changes to alicents character not being a wicked stepmother but more of an... almost lover) Wow, what a fucking pathetic reason to be a hater. Awww nooooooooo this female character is kissing women noooo, theyre ruined!! Even though the relationship was kind of maybe sort of a little implied in the book. (Granted the book talks about a close relationship between rhaenyra, mysaria and DAMON, but see above for rumours and inaccuracies) Also there are a lot of ppl who were genuinely Team green (i did not realise those ppl existed unironically, gonna be honest) who are mad that Team green is portrayed more negatively than Team black and apparently thats unfair. Yeah, idk what to say about that, do you always expect to opposing sides of a fictional conflict to be treated the same and to be equally good and justified? Granted, the "pick a side" Marketing was dumb and encouraged this sort of thinking, but those two teams are not equal lol you can still like the characters even though theyre cheaters, usurpers and Bad ppl.

If you had genuinely read and UNDERSTOOD the books and that theyre full of propaganda you would understand why SOME PPL are either portrayed more positively or more negatively in the show than they were in the book. Just consider WHO was writing the history for one sec.

Yeah, rant over, this was just too ridiculous not to get off my chest.

Like yeah, you can criticise some of the changes and the simple fact that 8 ep seasons are SHIT for building a plot, but considering some ppl call an ep "filler" just because nobody got roasted by a dragon, maybe we dont deserve 20 ep seasons with a slow building of plot and tension anymore....

[radioactive-dazey]

My orange side dreams (I've had 4)

A description of my multiple orange side dreams and some of my commentary on them.

The first one

I had this dream back in 2022. Logan was sitting in a closet looking into a mirror. But his reflection wasnt himself, it was Thomas with a scraggly beard, dirty grey hoodie, messy hair, etc. Logan was talking to him about backing off, the reflection was mocking him, and all of a sudden the reflection reaches out and pulls Logan into the mirror. He starts laughing evilly and takes on Logan's appearance, walking out of the mirror and out of the closet. The dream changes to me scrolling through the comment sections of youtube trying to look for theories about this video, when i find in the description for the video theres a single name: Julius.

What I find super funny about this dream was that, the original appearance is super similar to an old dark side OC I had before Remus was introduced. He represented procrastination.

The name Julius is also funny because I'm fairly certain my subconscious took it from the drink "orange Julius"

Also lmao me predicting Thomas having facial hair is wild, God damn 2022 Dazey.

The second one

Previously posted elsewhere on my tumblr, I'm basically copying and pasting the post here.

I had a dream that Thomas posted a sander sides video featuring Janus, Remus, and the orange side. The orange side had no defined appearance, he was constantly switching between looking like Patton, Virgil, and Logan.

Janus and Remus didn't like him. The orange side did things in the video that actually made REMUS feel disgusted. I wont describe how (info in the replies of the original post), but he was able to completely shut down other sides. He picked them off one by one and made them faint, disappear, etc...

You could tell by the end of the episode Janus was majorly unhappy but before he could do anything, the orange side rendered him unconscious and Thomas was left alone with him. The episode ended with the orange side laughing as the screen faded to black. The endcard featured Thomas announcing the next episode would come out in 2 years :) (ouch, the accuracy still hurts a bit)

The third one (short and sweet)

Orange side had this ability to influence other sides, like a temporary possession. He wore glasses, which let me tell you, I don't see many orange sides interpretations with glasses so this was just wild.

Despite the fact I know he wore glasses, he also didn't have a set appearance, like he was invisible. Similar to dream 2, he was constantly changing how he looked through this possession concept I brought up.

He was influencing Logan to lash out a lot. Weird huh *gestures vaguely to my complicated feelings to the wrath theory*

Different dream again, the final one

The orange side adopted the appearance and actions of my personal theory for what the orange side should be. Those who have read my orange side theories will already know what im about to say: He represented ignorance, his dark side animal was a bird (some sort of falcon or hawk), his name was Icarus. The entire dream (read: episode) was more or less about how the others fucking suck when it comes to addressing their issues. It felt like they were going in circles. Why did they have to constantly fight?

I've seen the arguments against my particular ignorance theory, saying it's basically just lying to yourself and we can't have two Deceits. But ignorance is more than just 'turning a blind eye.' It's purposefully ignoring new nformation to stay in a comfortable and familiar idea space. Most of the dream works from the angle of Logan not being listened to. The other sides ignorance is what makes Logan angry.

This means nothing but I feel like sharing. In this dream I got to meet Thomas and I asked him "so, Is the orange sides name icarus?" And he looked personally so offended that I guessed it.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Slenderman with a s/o who gardens and is really self sustaining? I just want that cottagecore life in the creepy woods with him so badly, flower crowns and all that >_<

Slenderman w/ a cottagecore!partner

i am soso so so sorry it took me so long to get to this ask SOBS ive been bouncing between a bunch of brainrots and kinda just. sitting. im trying to ease back into this acc but!! short post, apologies for that :(!! not proof read im literally typing this on the fly before my motivation burns away

honestly i think this is his type, if weird/funky people arent ! hes really into nature, given that hes a silly forest demon in my hc, natures like his whole. deal

the idea of flower crowns never crossed his mind but hes not going to resist you when you offer him one; in fact i like to think that he keeps it somewhere when hes not wearing it... which isnt often, hes gotta keep up the appearance of scary monster

he presses all the flowers you give him, keeping them stored away in a book

wanna go on a picnic? he cant really... eat traditional people food, but hey as long as youre not opposed to him eating human meat then its all good

this is a joke, he doesnt enjoy eating in front of others, much less in front of you. dont pry or ask, he doesnt like addressing it, doesnt matter if youre a normal person, a crp, a human, or a demon like him; he just doesnt like discussing it

brain blast moment, star gazing. slender may not know the proper names for constellations or which group of stars are actually constellations, but that doesnt matter. hes made his own and hes more than happy to tell you about them... being an isolated forest monster gets lonely, you know? even with the proxy thing

i still stand by my hc of "slenderman is simply a force of nature whos grey but he curses the fact that like everyone else he longs for some sort of companionship, the curse of sentience and longing"

anyways

dont get me wrong, hes still... whack, he doesnt like it when you go out into the forest when theres intruders or when its his feeding time; he doesnt want to make you see that sort of thing... mix of being disgusted with himself and not wanting to scare you off

you could reassure him all you want but theres always going to be that self loathing

moving on

noooo cuz imagine picking mushrooms with him

i admit i know next to nothing about cottagecore stuff but im trying my best

OHOH HE LOVES CARRYING YOU ON HIS BACK, YOUR ARMS WRAPPED AROUND HIS SHOULDERS LEGS AROUND HIS WAIST

loves the feeling of having you close to him, hes touch starved tbh, and it makes him feel like he can protect you like that

makes the best tea, depending on where you hc the location he probably has some plants growing there naturally that he can use for it

ooooooouuuuugh the two of you sitting inside his office, its raining outside. youre sewing something, and hes reading. ooough i love quiet comfortable silence between lovers

gardening is a must, slenderman already tends to care for the forest and keep it in the best possible shape and return what he takes; he will expect you to do the same. only thing he wont force you to do is disposal of... things

hopping back to the plant pressing, he also keeps rocks or other trinkets you give him, this man will absolutely go feral if someone comes in and destroys something. it can be a pebble and thered be blood

oooiugh big mean cold demon whos soft for their small mortal partner

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Jamie's a no show to training and everyone is super annoyed, but that all goes out the window when he finally does arrive, but he's pale and shaky, and worse still his clothes and his hands are stained red. " It's not my blood." He says dazedly before he collapses into Roy's arms. He doesn't faint, just goes limp and catatonic. No one can figure out what the hell happened until a viral video appears all over, showing Jamie not only witnessing a horrific traffic accident but also springing into action and helping to pull the victims out of the mangled wreckage. The image of Jamie screaming and desperately trying to keep a little girl Phoebe's age from bleeding out in his arms is seared into everyone's brains, especially Roy's. Roy vows to do all he can to help Jamie heal from this trauma. Love ends up being one of the best remedies.

Anon ily I’m ready to attempt to make people cry again. *rubs hands together*

tw I’m killing the victims of the crash to really make it tragic. *SORRY* there’s also a bit of blood described.

Roy had texted and called Jamie about 20 times now. He doesn’t know what happened, three hours ago they woke up together, lost an hour in bed, Roy had to come in early so Jamie said he’d run here.

That was over two hours ago. Practice is basically over. People are talking showers. It’s insane. He has to pick up Phoebe in another hour, and she was really looking forward to seeing her ‘uncle Jamie’ Christ that kid.

He is officially freaking out. He knows Sam and Colin have called and texted also. Beard did his weird thing of “I know a guy” and left it at that.

Roy is just about to do another lap around the office when he hears Sam yell. He darts out of the room

Jamie.

Jamie covered in blood.

Oh god.

Jamie scans the room ignoring everyone’s questions and panic, he finds Roy. He takes the four steps over to him and collapses. Roy catches him like always, he slowly drops the both of them to the floor, Jamie proceeds to crawl into his lap.

Roy let’s out a noise he refuses to acknowledge. “Not my blood, I’m fine, gonna not talk now kay lads?”

Roy vaguely wonders if Jamie decided to kill his father today but that seems like an unlikely answer.

Beard comes running back in from where he disappeared to take a call.

“Roy we need to talk- oh good god okay good he’s here. There was a car accident. People filmed. Jamie was the first person around, a kid was thrown out the windshield. She uh she didn’t make it off of the scene. He held her. Screamed at people to call 999. Wouldn’t let her go until the ambulance got there. He held her the whole time.”

Roy blinked through tears he could feel starting out of his eyes. Christ fuck morning practice how could they think Jamie was just fucking off, he would never do that.

Sam comes over to where Jamie is staring at the wall behind Roy’s head. Sam sits next to Roy and takes a still bloody hand. Isaac and Colin move in sync, Colin digs out baby wipes, Isaac takes them and kneels down to wipe off the bits of Jamie’s arm that’s not wrapped around Roy’s neck.

Roy presses a kiss to Jamie’s head, a rare sight for the locker room but he feels that it’s allowed. Jamie let’s out a shaky breath. Roy repeats the action, when he pulls back this time though he’s got a plan.

“Alright, everyone our house 40 minutes, Isaac can you pick up Phoebe. We are gonna get Jamie showered off and fine again and then have a quiet movie day.”

Theres a murmur of agreement in the room,

Isaac swaps cars with Roy so he has a kid seat. Everyone leaves the locker room but not without touching Jamie in some sort of way.

Colin lingers for a second with an offer of “need help?” Roy needs to later tell him how grateful he is but he shakes his head no. Colin leave with a nod to go get Phoebe with Isaac.

“Baby can we stand to wash you off?”

Jamie sniffs. He nods his head unfolding himself from Roy’s lap.

Roy stands with a flinch, that’ll hurt more later but not the biggest issue. He slowly undresses Jamie, he tosses all the clothing into a trash can.

Jamie had worn all white today. It was a blinding contrast.

Roy undresses with less care then he did for Jamie, he pulls him into the shower. Roy reaches for Jamie’s body wash, Jamie looks up at him.

“She was about Phoebe’s age. I didn’t know they had that much blood in them that young. She wasn’t even really crying. I think I cried more then she did.”

Jamie gasps like it’s the first time he’s taking a breath.

Roy moves onto his hair now that the blood on Jamie’s skin is washed off. Clearly Jamie ran hands through his hair, the blonde streaks are tinted pink.

“She told me she was happy to be held. That she loved me.” Jamie cuts himself off with a sob. Roy gathers his up to his chest.

What can he even say besides he’s sorry at this point. No one should ever go through this.

“Her uh, her mom was driving, got slammed into by a truck that went through a light. Never saw it coming. She died in the car they said.”

Roy rocks them slowly under the water, “I know I’m sorry isn’t enough but you know I’m here for you. It sounds like you did everything you could’ve.”

Jamie nods again, “paramedics said the same thing, cops too. I was just thinking of Sarah and Phoebe the whole time.”

Roy sighs, he lets the tears he felt earlier come down his face, “I know. When you said mom and daughter I thought the same. But they are both fine, Sarah is at the hospital, Isaac and Colin are picking Phoebe up to bring to our house.”

Jamie sniffs. “Can she stay the night.”

Roy nods. “Course. I think everyone might be staying the night though, don’t think they’ll let you out of their sight any longer then the 40 minutes I asked for.”

Jamie let’s out a wet laugh. “God I really scared everyone didn’t I.” Roy leans down and kisses Jamie “more then any of us could ever tell you.”

Jamie taps Roy’s chest, “let’s go home.”

Roy holds Jamie’s hand. He knows it might take a while but Jamie will be okay eventually.

[thesoulbox]

How do beckorellis spend valentines? :]

OMG HEYY!! 🫵🫵

They would be so silly, hear me out.

Really the answer depends on what time it is in the timeline...

Say it's pre-GGY and everything is fine and dandy and working out with the three of them without the mass tragedies that occur later on, I feel like they'd definitely go to the pizzaplex and go hang out for the day, Tony would definitely kill them at Bonnie Bowling, I just feel like he'd be that guy BAHAHA

The three of them would be able to do all of the things they each like to do there and share it with one another and it'd be so awesome :) I feel like Ellis would definitely try his hardest to get the two of them cool stuff with his tickets but Tony and Gregory totally throw him a curve ball when they combine their tickets and get something for him instead, like aha let me just slide an uno reverse your way...(at beee-kayyy....)

The three of them would probably go pick up a pizza and some drinks in the Pizzaplex and go sit out in the parking lot and have a really unorganized picnic of sorts under the streetlights due to them literally staying there until like, 9-10 pm...it's a bit chaotic and they are sort of just sitting on the curb and waiting for someone's parents to come pick them up (most likely Tony's mom, you know she'd absolutely be all over the three of them and be like "Oh my goodness gracious my baby boy is growing up and falling in love they are so sweet together!!!") but they all have tons of fun just hanging out and having a small lil pizza dinner together underneath the moonlight...

Now say it's post GGY, and all of the tragedy happened and now they're traumatized and sad.

I don't think they'd go to the pizzaplex that time around, considering that Faz-Ent and such is behind most of their issues, but I think they would definitely go wander around their small town and go to the little shops and whatnot! And when they get bored of that they'd probably go get ice cream :)

And Ellis probably knows some weird little spot in the inner workings of their itty bitty town and over time they kind of just see this as their designated spot, and they go and hang out there, now theyve staked their claim there for months...and I'm not entirely sure what it would be, maybe a small spot underneath a bridge or something? Somewhere cool I'll need to look at pinterest for this...

They have it totally decked out and stuff though, Ellis would probably be crazy into graffiti, so would Gregory, but Tony probably thinks it's gross...although he doesn't bother to stop them when they manage to rope him into it and get him to spray some stuff up himself (he loved it but he's too much of a butt to admit it...)

Theres also a bunch of drawings along the walls from both Gregory and Tony! Artistic (autistic) lil buggers!!

The three of them just settle down in there and have a picnic (they like eating food in peculiar places I suppose.) Gregory definitely brought baked goods (I feel like he'd exceptionally be good at baking NO JOKE, THIS BOY CAN MAKE SOME GOOD COOKIES) Whilst Tony brought some food his mother made (HIS MOTHER IS ALSO A CRAZY GOOD COOK.) And Ellis brings drinks of courss, gotta wash down the yummy food with something 😔

And so the three of them just hang out and talk amongst themselves, whilst stuffing their faces with good food and soda (please limit Gregory's mountain dew intake that boy literally loses his shit)

When they finish eating and they realize it's getting dark, they decide to head back home to Gregory's house and go rent a movie on one of the streaming services, and the three of them just kind of scooch together on the couch with some blankets + snacks and relax and enjoy the movie, with most likely all three of them falling asleep before the movie even ends...

*EXHALES DRAMSTICALLT..* I put way too much thought into this..

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

YEAYEAYEAG I FORGOR. TRICKSTER TIMELINE. SITTING DOWN WITH MY PENCIL AND NOTES!!!!!!

OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. this is all a bunch of half-formed-while-at-work ideas so if they dont make sense im blaming it on that.

first. backrground worldbuilding context. u know how nilbog is like . they keep him sort of quarantined because they let him take over a town and be a little king of his own territory there (at least i think this is what happened. to my understanding) . im thinking maybe pre-nhw times trickster was in a similar situation. hes this horribly powerful terrifying master but his big weakness is that hes motivated by chaos, motivated by finding things funny or entertaining. he doesnt want to take over the world in the same way a villain like coil does, he wants to take over things because theyre fun, because theyre interesting, because he thrives in destruction and chaos . if they just like... let him take over a town, let him have his little army of puppets to play with, he stays somewhat contained on his own unless any other cape pokes their nose where they shouldnt. i assume the prt would monitor him from a safe distance just in case, but he falls sort of low on the priority list when theyve got other issues to distract them. and this works for a while.... until he gets bored. hes caused all the damage he possibly can in his little chaos zone, taken over the last of the remaining civilians... theres no challenge for him anymore.

but HEY. news from one of the closest big cities... theres a new cape thats joined the wards team, and his powers look. so fun. imagine the possibilities for silly fun distruction with powers like that. so hes got a new challenge. He Wants That Toy. i think he approaches ashe using one of his puppets first. hes not stupid, he knows the prt is watching him, he knows if he leaves his city theyll be on him in an instant, so he sends like... unassuming regular normal people. theres nothing special about them they arent even capes. but theyve all got these glowing orange eyes. and it starts small- ashe accidentally bumping into someone on the street, and they smile at him as they help him pick up his bag. a cashier giving him a complement on his outfit. after a particularly rough fight with his dad, ashe leaves home to go to the wards house. its pouring down rain, maybe hes crying as he walks. a friendly stranger offers him their umbrella. asks him whats wrong. ashe winters, clinically lonely teenager who has had extremely rare and paranoid contact wiht the outside world for 10 years. does not see anything wrong with these nice orange-eyed strangers. call it naivety, call it innocence, whatever. hes not stupid though. every time one of these people talk to him, they have the same smile. the same inflection in their voices. one time he asks them who they are, why they keep being so nice to him. i think this takes the trickster by such surprise that. camera cut to him in his lair taylor style and he just. sits up straight eyes wide, huge grin on his face. yeah this is the one.

he drops the illusion of being different people and leans into it. he calls himself something insidiously innocent sounding. "just someone who wants to help" "are you familiar with the concept of a guardian angel?" << EUGHHGHG THIS ONE MAKES ME SICK. ashe isnt stupid. he knows thats weird. but the idea of someone out there who doesnt know him, doesnt know the horrible things hes been through and done, just wanting to help him for no reason. its tempting!!!!! so he doesnt mention his secret friend to anyone, just... accepts the gifts as theyre given. this guy doesnt ever ask for anything in return, even! it all. comes to a head though with the overlord thing.

im gonna switch now to kind of talk about ashe timeline outside of trickster stuff. the wards are together maybe a year or two before they meet him. ashe is in his rebellious teen phase, hes frustrated, he wants to have a life to live, hes tired of being in his room, hes tired of his dad not telling him shit and leaving for days at a time, hes just so. lonely. so one time, when mark is on a long weekend "business trip", ashe sneaks out of the house. now. mark is a tinker, you bet your ass hes rigged their house to the teeth with motion sensors and cameras and shit . but ashe is smart. ashe also has powers. ashe has not used his powers in a Long Time, but hes so mad and hes already made up his mind, he wants to get OUT and hes doing it TONIGHT. so he messes with marks equipment and leaves. goes for a walk. maybe goes to like. a gas station convenience store to buy a slushie wiht the crumpled 5 dollar bill he found in the pocket of the jacket he grabbed from the closet on his way out (its marks).

theres. some sort of trouble that he gets caught up in. something minor, maybe someone tries to rob the store while hes there or something. maybe its something silly like le frog. idk. but hey guess who is on patrol in the area to deal with it !!!!!!! its failsafe. and dakota has this bad habit of being Too Friendly with people. hey theres this kid my age who looks SUPER uncomfortable and hes hiding behind his long hair and this big jacket and he looks kind of miserable but he just has this ENERGY about him like . adrenaline. giddy excitement. something like that. and dakota is just drawn to him. at first its a "check on the civilians involved to make sure theyre okay" and then its a "wow youre a blue raspberry guy? i like cherry more but my friend really likes blue raspberry too, you kind of remind me of him, i think youd get along-" cole style! rambling! and ashe is just sitting there like. why are you. talking to me. (<< same inflection as why are you in my house bc i fucking love that those are his first words i miss you so much ashe winters) but internally hes like "whoa this is so cool this whole talking to people thing is so easy my first night out in 10 years and im already making friends with a fucking cape, okay-"

ANYWAY. whatever whatever dakota runs into him a few more times on patrol and because hes. him. hes always really excited like "HEY I KNOW YOU!" etc. idk! whatever! they become friends! he meets the rest of the wards when theyre out of costume, dakota seeks him out out of costume specifically because he wants to be friends but oh my god ive only ever talked to this guy as failsafe i need to talk to him as dakota. the boys become ashes first friends ever! and then he. excited that he has someone to talk to other than his dad for the first time in forever. he tells them or shows them or whatever that he has powers. and then he learns about them being wards. idk this in btween state is still fuzzy to me. he helps them out sometimes acting as a rogue. idk how or why he officially joins the team but he does somehow. eventually. mark is EXTREMELY displeased wiht this, but its at a point where... turning down the offer would almost be more suspicious. whatever. help me out here i havent throught about this part as much.

ANYWAY. SOMETIME AFTER ASHE IS OFFICIALLY ON THE TEAM. the leviathan attack happens. i feel so very strongly about the leviathan attack being the equivalent event to the Meatball Planet only like. so much worse. leviathan is showing up in some random coastal city called. idk. maybe brockton bay. for funsies. and all the capes in new haven are called on for the battle. (tide especially. but this aint about him rn). mark winters is the kinda guy who would hear that and go "no fucking way i want no part of that my first and only priority is protecting myself and my son i dont give a shit about another city or other capes" but. he has to go. because overlord wants him to go. for whatever reason. and mark, knowing about ashes whole thing with the wards now, puts him on total lockdown. dont even fucking THINK about going anywhere near this. i dont care if your team gets summoned, you. stay. here. etc etc etc. the wards, ironically, do not actually get summoned! they are really powerful, yeah, but the prime force is already goign to be there and the prt cannot risk their backup prime force also getting taken out because they dont have a third option to turn to right now. the boys Do No Like This because! tide is going. they want to go with tide. they plan to sneak away and follow anyway. ashe tells them mark put him on lockdown he cant go with him. they break him out and the 4 of them get to town in the MIDDLE of the fight. shit is baaad. they kind of regret it almost immediately. but theyre here now they have to fight. i actually think it would be cool if. like with the meatball planet thing. having the nhw there is a huge advantage and they start winning. but. i think this is the first time they see ashe's breaker state. maybe its because one of the wards gets hurt, maybe he sees his dad going up against leviathan alone at one point, idk. something in that vein. i think breaker state ashe is actually the catalyst they need to start winning against leviathan, the thing that distracts him enough right in time for scion to get there and do his thing or whatever. the battle is over, they have a REALLY hard time getting ashe out of his breaker state. (side note i think the only way ashe can really come down from breaker state is by having whatever threat set him off completely removed from the situation. however bc he doesnt recognize good from bad in this state, any sense of big power or sudden movement or whatever is enough to kind of reset that meter and it just gets harder to break him out the longer they make moves toward him.) personally, because im biased as fuck, i think it would be sooooooooooooo fucking good to have mark be the one to get him out of breaker state here. the wards have never seen this side of his powers, they dont understand why trying to help him only makes him worse, the battle is over shouldnt he be okay now? but mark has seen this before. mark knows, if only instinctually, what worked before. maybe itll work again. and hes fucking pissed, hes pissed that ashe is here, that he disobeyed him, that he put himself in the worst fucking danger possible, that this is all the wards fault etc etc. but he HAS to push that anger to the side for a second to get ashe to come back to his right state of mind. they can have a screaming match about it later when reality is not actively bending and breaking around them. i also think this would be good for the wards to see that mark isnt... totally a horrible person. they only really know him from ashe, theyre super biased against him they hate his guts from the things theyve heard, but here. they just. get to see how much he loves ashe and even though his actions fucking suck and ashe has been miserable as a result... hes not an evil guy. hes just the universes most hated man.

ANYWAY. BACK TO THE ORIGINAL POINT OF THE POST. reports from the leviathan fight and the new member of the wards whose powers turned the tide (ha) of the battle. this is how the trickster learns about him. so ALL THAT STUFF i talked about before happens . and then mark goes missing. ashe doesnt. realize it at first maybe. hes used to his dad being gone for days at a time, but hes never stayed away for longer than a week. day 3 passes with not even an update from mark and he starts to get a little anxious, day 5 passes and still nothing, day 8 hes. freaking out. the wards are maybe a little crass about it "that guy sucks you can just stay with us" btu then they see ashe is like. genuinely distressed about it and they say theyll help him look for him.

mark. maybe disobeyed overlord in some way. idk. he did something stupid that made overlord mad enough to punish him. the wards track down the guy mark is working for (i imagine their knowledge about What He Does in this au is a lot more limited than in canon. they know hes wavelength, they know wavelength workds for someone, but they dont know who that someone is). they track down overlord and bust into his base and its. idk. similar ish scene to canon. ashe sees his dad in whatever the equivalent is of the tube he was in in pd. hes unconscious, but they cant tell whether hes alive or not. this sets ashe off almost IMMEDATELY into breaker state. and overlords base is not . the largest thing in the world. maybe its like. warehouse sized. but its still an enclosed space. shit gets dangerous FAST. ashe ends up killing overlord and its pretty gruesome and horrible. when he gets out of breaker state and fully processes what he did, he just. runs. he doesnt know what else to do. hes scared hes upset he still doenst know if his dad is alive (did he just lose the only family he has left? was this the thing mark was hiding them from for so long? mark dead, ashe a murderer, is that what simurgh wanted?) . he thinks the wards will hate him for what he did so instead of fighting them he runs! and who. is conveniently waiting for him. a kind stranger with glowing orange eyes. who hugs him, tells him everything will be okay, wipes his tears away. how can i help? do you need somewhere to stay for a while?

ashe is gone for a handful of weeks before the note appears on the wards' door.

IDK. THIS IS ALL SO LIKE. VIVID TO ME BUT AS ALWAYS IF U HAVE OTHER IDEAS I AM SOOOO OPEN TO THEM. i have a lot more thoughts about the trust that trickster tries to build with him through his puppets but this post is so fucking long already that might just have to be a full separate thing . god. im so FUCKING unwell. nhw disease instead of brain there is nhw. ashe im so sorry we put you in the blender i promise i love oyu and want you to be happy. what are your thoughts i need 2 know. oauguhg. dying 2 talk about this. as if i didnt just write out like a thousand words talking about it.

[readingoals]

Mid Year Book Freak Out Tag (2024)

I know I'm a bit late with this but I figured I might as well still do it 🤷‍♀️I wasn't tagged but hey if you also haven't done it and want to consider this a tag, feel free lmao

This is hard to narrow down because I've read some absolute crackers and nothing is like super standing out from the rest. Maybe The Next Big Thing by James Colley just for how fun and Aussie it was, or maybe Dumb Witness by Agatha Christie because it was a clever mystery with some really great Poirot/Hastings banter.

Another toughie because though I've not read many sequels, the ones I have picked up have all be great. Recently I caught up on the last two The Adventure Zone graphic novels and god I just love that series so much. I loved the podcast and I think they're done a great job of adapting them.

Also right up there are Everyone on this Train is a Suspect by Benjamin Stevenson and The Kiss Curse by Erin Sterling, both of which I adored.

I've surprisingly not re-read all that many books this year (yet anyway, there's a couple I wouldn't mind getting to). So I think it has to be The Shadow of the Wind. That's been one of my fave books for years now and it had been a while since I last picked it up so it was so great to revisit it again.

As it has been for the last few years, the genre I've been reading most is mystery. Most of those are Agatha Christie's since I try and read one a month.

Oh theres a few of these. A Botanical Daughter was probably my most anticipated release of the year but it took aaaggggesss for me to get my hands on a copy because the place i pre-ordered it from went into voluntary administration so my copy was never shipped. I mean I probably wasn't going to read it until October anyway but while waiting for it to arrive I also read some reviews that said it kind of missed the mark so I'm a little less excited now. The other book I still havent got around to picking up is Kill Your Husband by Jack Heath even though I was really excited for it too. And then there's also Clairmont by Lesley McDowell which I hadn't known was coming out but I saw in store and immediately bought and then also didn't read it.

Definitely Graveyard Shift by M.L. Rio. I think Ben Aaranovitch also has something new coming around September but I'll admit I'm a little behind on all of the rivers of london novellas and stuff. The Benjamin Stevenson has a Christmas book coming and I think the next book in the Ex Hex series is also due out and I'll probably pick it up pretty quick.

Hopeless Aromantic. Huge disappointment. I was really interested in a queer nonfic book that focused on aromanticism rather than asexuality and it just missed the mark by so much. It was poorly researched and cobbled together and frankly not worth anyone's time.

The Mysterious Mr Quin by Agatha Christie. I've read a few of her short story collections before so I went in expecting the usual sort of thing and it definitely felt like it was going along similar lines to start. But it got weird. In a good way. It feels as if the stories flirt with fantasy elements, and the last one even crosses over maybe? almost? Mr Harley Quin came off as kind of creepy too. It was definitely not quite like her usual stuff and I really really enjoyed it.

I've read from I think 9 or 10 authors that were new to me and yet I'm not really sure how to answer this, no one super stands out. Maybe Erin Sterling? I've read two of her romances this year (tho does she really count since it's the pen name for rachel hawkins and i've read one of her mysteries?), the book I read from James Colley was also really good and I'd probably pick up whatever he wrote next, so maybe him? From a nonfic author, Carnage by Mark Dapin (an Aussie true crime book) was very interesting and I liked he way he handled such difficult topics, so maybe him?

Probably Alex Easton from the T Kingfisher novellas?

I don't think anything I've read this year has really made me cry. I thought Loveless might but it didn't this time around. I guess I did get a bit blurry eyed during The Adventure Zone: Eleventh Hour graphic novel and same with Carnage, but not full tears.

Oh, so many lmao. The TAZ graphic novels, Ghosts: The Button House Archives, The Thread That Binds, Everyone On This Train is a Suspect, Cain's Jawbone (happy that I got it solved though I never got confirmation I was right lmao).

Okay this one is easy. My Folio Society edition of The Shadow of the Wind. Also, since I answered this last year I've also got the Folio Society edition of Frankenstein and I know I got it last year but I couldn't not mention it.

I also found some of Georgette Heyer's mysteries in a great edition at the lifeline book fest

I have 6 more Agatha Christie books to read (I'm partway through one of them now). Then there's also the copy of Northanger Abbey that Lauren annotated for Christmas last year, that'll be coming up soon, and whatever book we decide to annotate and swap for this years present. I'd like to spend October reading at least a couple of Frankenstein/Mary Shelley inspired books so I'll probs try and get to A Botanical Daughter then, maybe Clairmont and maybe Chicano Frankenstein or any of the others I have. I'd also really like to get to Every Time I Go On Vacation Someone Dies but I'm saving it for like the end of the year when it's summer.

[raisinchallah]

you know its weird i think listening to eighth doctor adventures has sort of solidified in my mind that i think what makes a doctor for me is just as much the concepts and themes and overarching like similarities and vibes that kinda connect into feeling like part of a greater whole more than idk an individual performance to me like big finish doesnt feel like it has a specific style or flavor or identity in the same way like i do really like a lot of the early eighth doctor adventures theyre fun and experimental but i think i like the ones that are all the most different or out of place and i dont feel like theres anything that particularly ties it together conceptually like even idk the fifth doctors eras a mess but its got this sorta ever present feeling of doom and like things keep going wrong and this sorta overwrought soap operatic tone to the companion stories its dabbling in that seeing how these are smashed about even in quite bad stories is quite interesting and both sides feel somewhat wrapped up in the final two episodes that planet of fire is the last gasp and experiment with this like slightly baffling insane soap opera tone and then caves of androzani really pays off the increasing sense of doom and like nothing goes right etc like idk i find that fun and fascinating theres these other outside things that impose a style upon the era and that i feel like i am only compelled by a doctor if im compelled by their era and of course different doctors can contain multiple eras like 4 and 7 or like 9 feels of the same era as 10 etc etc but idk like there are some fascinating repeated themes in like chimes of midnight and scherzo but thats just rob shearman idk what connects them to like invaders from mars besides all being some of the most effective uses of the audio format idk cant place it exactly but i feel to me i enjoy individual 8 stories more than i enjoy the entire thing if that makes sense like i have a worm in my brain that makes me a bit too fascinated with the fifth doctors era despite it being kind of terrible but that worms not activating for 8 completely idk feels similar for charley i feel i dont really know what her whole deal is like not that individual classic who companions are known for their depth or anything but they do often pick specific interesting gimmicks that are also quality writing shorthand for how a character may react to specific situations and idk charley does not have a gimmick that leads to unique or interesting reactions outside of her more personal stories like chimes of midnight and scherzo i mean scherzo is so good on its own it kind of invents an entire charley pollard thats like so good just in that audio that it can almost stand alone a pinnacle of insane companion writing that in 90 minutes u get something crazier than like two seasons of clara and 12 which tbh huge accomplishment masterful towering concept but idk her use in other audios often leaves a lot to be desired..

[rebuke-me]

hellehellohello i do not go here but. au ask game. tell me about number 36

so. number 36, for the readers, is one that i cannot tell to this friend bc it has spoilers. for something i want them to watch. so instead. theyre getting 38.

apocalyptic broadcast au!!!!! my beloved. its a little convoluted but.

jeremy's in a zombie apocalypse setting. and just general apocalypse. very welcome to nightvale "everythings going to shit its so weird here" vibes, complete with the fact that jeremy's one oddity is carrying around a microphone to record stuff and try to broadcast it to other survivors. he records everything, he tries to describe it, very podcasty. like an audio diary.

he keeps running into people and they keep dying. michael, christine, jenna, brooke, chloe, rich, jake. each and every single one of them dies in an apocalyptic way. the only people that stay alive are him and his sister. which is weird, right?

weirder is the fact that, in a totally normal parallel universe, jake's picking up this broadcast in his car.

jake dillinger's living out of his car, after his house burned down in a weird freak accident, and no one knows. the only reliable radio station is one where this kid, jeremy, is talking about his batshit sounding life. its weird to begin with. but its even weirder because he's saying the names of all these people that jake knows. michael mell, rich goranski, christine canigula. he knows these people.

but who the fuck is jeremy heere? no one like that exists.

he starts looking it up, and the only result is a forum about a character named that in a game that no one else's game seems to have.

and he reaches out to the guy, who ends up being michael mell, who sees this character in his copy of a video game, but no one elses saves have him. he's just a mysterious mod or something.

and shit gets even fucking weirder when jake himself appears in the radio show, which only plays when he's there alone. and he seems to have a crush on this guy before he dies in a horrible way.

and then theres some sort of weird portal thing, and a storm, and these two kids crash into the back of jake's truck, somehow falling from the sky.

and one kid is a girl around the age of 13. and the other is a gangly teenage boy with a radio microphone, wearing a faded varsity jacket with jake's last name on it.

[gutsfics]

1, 3, 9, 22, and 24 from the OC Interview Questions for Devi please!!!

yaaay thank you!!!! :3 ok im going Devi Mode now >:3

1. Who makes up your family?  How close are you to them?

well there's my mom and dad, and i have an older sibling, Avery, and two older sisters, Kennie and Satomi. im pretty close with all of them, especially my parents! tbh though it kinda feels like the five years i was dead made me miss a lot of my siblings' lives so theres like a sort of.... glass wall? i think? thats five years i cant get back, and they're all enough older than me that i wasnt really raised "with" them so much as i was raised after them, you know?

also Noah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noah's been such a big part of my (un)life that it would be wrong not to call him family <3 plus also hes my boyfriend :3

3. What is your favorite childhood memory?

so Jane's favorite fruit is-- um... was [he looks kinda sad for a moment, but shakes it off] blackberries, but she was allergic to the brambles so when it was blackberry season, i'd crawl into bushes to get the juciest berries for her

anyway the september before, um.... she got a bit sick in september and i wanted to cheer her up so Noah and i went to the biggest blackberry bush we'd found in the forest and i picked as many blackberries as i could for her while Noah kept me company (cuz he's also allergic so he couldnt join me in the bush). we werent as close back then as we are now, and i dont remember really what we talked about, but i remember that it was one of the last warm days of the year as the season changed, and the forest was so pretty and i felt like nothing could ever go wrong

its, um, kind of a sad memory. bittersweet, i mean. but its important to me

9. Are you a spiritual person? If yes, what do you practice?

now that's a really interesting question. i know that there is a sort of "higher power" that exists in the world, but it's not really God, or A God or anything consious really. its more like.... a membrane woven into the world that makes it what it is. like a membrane holding back some kind of juice? God Juice. and there's that spot in the mountains where the membrane has been punctured so more of God Juice is flooding out of that hole than there should be in the world, and i was part of that god juice, and i think that god juice is now a part of me? or it made me or something? and if i focus, really focus hard, i can kinda hear the way the universe sings? not always though

but um. i dont really know if that counts as spirituality. and i dont "practice" anything it just... kinda is? i try to be nice to people and the world but that doesnt feel like "practicing spirituality"

22. What’s the easiest way to flirt with you?

ummm haha ohh..... i dont really know how to answer that..... growing up i was usually either ignored or bullied so its always so weird whenever someone flirts with me. its always like, are you talking to me?? oh, no thanks. i already got a guy for that

and Noah's not really a flirty guy. he'll walk into the underworld to carry me back home, for sure, but he doesnt really do flirting. unless you count just open and honest statments about how you feel about someone as flirting? i'll flirt with him absolutely, but usually gets too flustered to flirt back. its really cute

24. What would you consider your main love language?

spending years of your life devoted to taking care of someone who's lost everything, through thick and thin, even when things get hard, on days when they dont seem particularly... connected to their humanity. just being a constant in their life, a lighthouse in the middle of a typhoon, grounding them when theyre too lost to find solid ground on their own. walking into the unknown to grasp their soul and bring them back from the brink, even if that means everything changes, even if it means you yourself could get stuck yourself. would you still love me if i was a worm. would you still care for me i had nothing to give you but my company and my love, even if my company doesnt mean my touch or my conversation. would you still love me if i couldn't remember who you were.

um.

sorry. what was the question?

oh right! i think my love language is physical touch and acts of service and quality time. both giving and receiving them.

[maybemoonout]

Something ive noticed in interviews and more recent things is whenever Alex and Miles are in the same room is theres this wall between them, and Alex is the one that is most likely to reach out and touch it. I am typically hypersensitive to body language and your song analyses seem to hint at the same thing that I am picking up that Alex is open and willing and Miles is drifting off further and further in a different direction. Theres times I see Miles and his body language suggests hes closed off in ways he didn’t used to be, those fools used to crawl all over eachother so its weird to see Miles constructing himself an extremely rigid personal space bubble. When Alex says stuff that even suggests something it gets worse- in more recent interviews theres always an elephant in the room-

Hi anon!

This is very interesting… I personally haven't seen much "recent" interviews where they are together? If you can possibly outsource these to me, or if someone could inform me about their recent interviews together, that would be greatly appreciated!

But based from what you said alone, that really is interesting. Now personally, I haven't made any actual song analyses so I'm assuming what you read from me was my previous ask post with the lyrics. Maybe I will do a song analysis one day, it was quite fun to write about!

Now back to you, I think their interviews always had some sort of elephant in the room. I don't know if anyone noticed or maybe if it's just me, but I kind of feel like the interviewer wants to ask a very desperate question but can't get themselves to do it. In some older interviews (e.i. interviews since the beginning to around ETYCTE era) They have always been quite, I'm not sure if "rowdy" is the word, more so "in their own bubble". But now that you say it, I kind off see how Alex seems to be a little more inclined to touch than Miles, even in older interviews. I have never seen any of these recent interviews, possibly the most recent ones I have seen are, again, ETYCTE era. So I can't answer you very well with the little knowledge I have.

Though if we were to look at the situation in a song perspective, Alex songs are definitely a lot more… possibly desperate? Apologetic almost? Needy maybe.

If we compare the tones of Coup de Grace and TBH+C you can kind of seeing where I'm getting at. Coup de Grace is a lot more heartbroken, despite a lot of it's songs being upbeat, you can feel the intense sorrow in it almost, Miles was definitely hurting, and if you watched this interview where Miles was interviewed by the infamous Martin, Martin actually says "I could still see the pain a little bit, in your eyes" in which Miles only smiles sadly and nods.

So Miles WAS HURT. We can kind of get the gist that Miles was "the hurted" in this situation. The question is, who hurt him? I think ever since Coup de Grace, there has this been wall formed around Miles that none of us can really read. Even in Change the Show, and the snippets he's showing us in his stories about a possible new album, we can hear from the lyrics the sort of anger and pain under all the catchy melodies.

Now, lets go to TBH+C and The Car, Alex's side of this story. The songs are very, self reflective. Incredibly self-reflective. Looking back on past mistakes, his regrets. He DID something, possibly hurt someone? We will never truly know unless Alex himself mentions it. TBH+C is a mix of very sad sounding tones of regret and guilt, and also songs of drifting away into space and daydreams. A fake reality, I like to think, an escape.

"Bear with me man, I lost my train of thought" // One Point Perspective

"Elevator down to my make believe residency" // Star Treatment

It gives me vibes of an escape world, one where he runs of too whenever problems (regrets and guilt) arise.

So in my mind, if anyone between the two wants forgiveness, something to take them back, for someone to go back to them, it would definitely be Alex. And if anyone between the two is still broken, someone who created walls to protect an already broken heart, oh most definitely its Miles. Make of that what you will, I suppose.

This kinda ended up being song analysis-y again, I apologize, but truly I haven't seen any recent interviews to better reply to you, so if you have any on hand, I'd love to see them and also see for myself what you have noticed concerning their body language! I'm incredibly interested and hope to hear back from you anon! <3 Thanks for a wonderful time

[dausy]

oh my, I feel like I've spent a lot of money on myself recently.

I'm trying to work on painting this weekend. I have a long weekend this weekend. So far I'm scheduled to work wed-fri if I don't get a call but I have a dental appointment and hair appointment this week. Theres an interesting breed of drama at work and I think I'm getting too old for this. I just learned I'm literally older than a couple of doctors. I've officially reached that stage of my life where I can be older than doctors. So weird. On the scale of complaints I've had about workplace drama before this has to be some of the most benign complaints I've ever heard and I'm like "do you guys not hear yourselves?". Its just such a non-dangerous issue, that I can't even imagine wanting to complain about it. To me its like a spa day and yall are complaining about some weird stuff. Like come on.

But I keep picking up shifts because its essentially easy money but I'm also dirt tired and cranky. Wearing lead for 8-10 hours a day is also killing my upper back. I don't think permanent OR nursing is in my future. So its affecting my ability to be creative. I'm getting home at 5-6pm and plooping on the couch. I can't draw unless theres lovely sun out.

I still think my spanish is improving despite me getting hit hard with the reality that I don't know what the hell I'm saying often. But I'm still learning new things every day and I'm researching new ways to say things all the time. I think what honestly hurts the most is I keep seeing tiktoks on "white women who did a duolingo lesson once" which is in parts funny, I get it. But also, is me trying to speak with my patients making me fall under this category? am I just another white woman who duolingos? I just want to be effective at my job and communicate where appropriate.

I've also spent a small fortune. I feel like I should do a haul with just stuff I've purchased recently but none of it is art related (sort of). Other than I still have to PPE up at work, my face getting exposure to real air has made me appreciate a little bit of the skin care and make up type luxuries..2 make up items will cost a pretty penny. I got some new make up brushes and got some new things for this ball I have coming up. I just kinda want to look pretty. I'm feeling girly, I want the make up, the cute clothes and shoes etc. But we're just buying make up so far right now.

I also got 2 new work out shirts and a sports bra. I've gotten a wittle chunky this past year and my shirts are riding up. I'ma maybe use those extra calories for some hopeful gym gains. Hopefully I can rev up the gym-going when my husband gets deployed.

shoes, I got some new shoes for work and a new phone case. We also went on a really fancy date night that long ago and me not having a purse was kind of a nuisance so I got a new purse (or two). We have a lot of day trips coming up as my husband is trying to maximize family time before he's gone for the next year. I kinda want to look cute maybe so one of the purses is like a day trip bag.

anyway, I still want to order a couple of things but itll need to wait til the next paycheck.

[magnoliamyrrh]

okay. yea. more weird dreams since ive been here tonight

there was more weird shit going on before this i just cant manage to remember but i was in the downstairs part of this house with an opening to a garden on one side and while I know other stuff was happening before i guess in the dream itself i remember being confused as to how long i had been there and like. there was vomit everywhere which had burned the wooden floors yellow and i was like?? what the f happened w me and how long have i been here and then looking around trying to figure out whats up i come across the corpse of this stag, not very big, looks more like a deer with horns than an actual stag. i remember picking it up by the horns, it was light, trying to figure out how this thing got in the house on top of everything and where i might bury it. but instead its guts and insides fall out and i am left holding only its head and the skin of its body attached to it. i remember putting it on, its head as a mask and its skin as a cloak .... theres a loud knocking at the door (?) windows (?). its loud. i turn and a sense of fear hits me. i dont know what it is nor do i plan to open. a big man barges inside, i guess he had a keep. i somehow at the same time find a knife, its specifically a hunting knife, a skinning knife. my hands must be covered in blood, or in dried blood, or something because i have a hard time hanging on to it at first, but i tighten my grip. i remember its weight in my hand. i remember pressing my finger on its blade to see if its sharp enough. the man, hes inside, looking and not looking at me, goes past into a kitcken. im holding the knife and asking him wtf hes doing. he says something about being a maintenance man or some shit but i dont buy it. hes just walked into a run down house that only i have been in in clearly some odd way for probably months and hes acting odd, something he is saying isnt lining up

i don't remember what happens with the man or the house. i remember listening to someone talk, explain how they had noticed odd things happening. i dont remember the other two on the list, but the third, hes talking about how some weird shit was going on in some village, how theres reports that the locals are cannibalizing people or something crazy like that right? but how he cant help but wonder considering everything else if its real. i find myself seeing this village, approaching it like some disembodied form, to find myself in what seems to be a night gathering of sorts, otherwise a seemingly normal looking restaurant picnic sort of ordeal in some apple orchard, lights hung up and everything. i realize im walking around as an actual body in this place, and that its a memory im somehow experiencing again. im walking around these people and tables, it all seems normal except i start to realize there are indeed human body parts in their plates. small ones. they are quite literally eating children, like, all of them, and this is some sort of event for this. the voice of the men coming from nowhere is still explaining all this. i find myself out behind the apple orchard, its daytime now, there is a chair in front of me that a young man is sitting in, the one who was explaining all this. i guess hes some sort of reporter or journalist or something. he quiets down, i think waiting for me to reply. i look around, on the right side of the orchard is a river, reeds, some trees. there is a thick air, humid and heavy and the sort of heat you feel in the air before a big storm arrives. opressive. it looks like the deltă, where the danube splits and becomes marshlands. above in the sky is a thick line of clowds, two lines i realize, like two dark, thick, smooth rivers of clouds in the sky; one side of the clouds are rolling one way, the other river of clouds is rolling the other. i look down, a friend is sitting in the actual river, seemingly just hanging out, though they seem far away, not fully in it. i look over my sholder back right, i realize there are waves coming down this river stream. its rising, weird, unnatural wave after wave its rising quickly. my friend takes no notice of this even as the water reaches their head. they have no reaction to anything i say. the river keeps rising

... i wake up? i cant remember anything else, i wake up.. cant manage to fall back asleep, i look out the window. i realize there is a tree that has been right there since my childhood that in winter, with no leaves - none of them have leaves - looks odd. somehow it's branches have curved to form an almost perfect circle, it looks unnatural frankly. i remember this isnt the first time ive thought the thing was creepy. i remember the other times when i have seen these things was some video of them, explaning native american legens dont exactly hold them in high regards either. anyway, i decide to stop looking at the damn thing and go smoke a cigarette. my mon was at a funeral earlier in the day, i find coliva, a sort of food made for the dead and given out. i eat some, i feel something hard in my teeth, and realize there is a rather large stone in it that i was chewing on. its almost 3 am and everything feels just slightly odd