#theres no world in which any of these three things (job housing car) turn out better than fine

[squimbz]

Applied for two more jobs. Have a call abt a third in two hours. Posted on fb looking for housing. Continue to search for a new car. Hell world.

[chubbyreaderchan]

Technically No | Jacob Black x witch!Reader | Twilight/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossover| 2

The weekend passed by quite quickly. Sunday was spent organizing what (Y/n) did buy on that Saturday. That Saturday was truly life changing. Jacob even called her that Sunday to see if she needed any help getting he house put together, which she took. He spent the entire afternoon chatting with her about cars then he went on to learning all about (Y/n). It was nice to have someone outside of Xander actually care about her interests. 

The Sunday night, she may have spent too long on a three way phone call with Buffy and Willow telling them all about Jacob. Then finally, Monday came. Bright and early (Y/n) woke up putting on her nicest clothes and make up to her preferred taste. She was finishing up breakfast when a knock came from the door. There stood Jacob as well as two just as tall and just as muscular young men. “Hey” Jacob spoke, looking her over almost speechless. She was just so beautiful but one of the young men playfully pushed Jacob out of his slight trance. 

“Oh, sorry. (Y/n)... These are my friends Embry and Quil...” he nodded to them each. They both shook the young witch’s hand. 

“Thank you so much for doing this... If it wasn’t my first day on the job I would have stay--” Jacob shook his head with a bright smile still on his face. “It’s fine.” “I know but young guys like you would probably prefer not hanging out at a stranger’s empty house.” She moved to allow them in. At least they weren’t vampires, she couldn’t help but thinking. “You’re welcome to anything that’s in the kitchen... It’s not much but theres like snacks and drinks...” She began walking towards the door once she took note of the time. Jacob followed her out and nodded. “It’s really not a problem... I swear.” He looked her over, eyes wondered for just a second to her neck. A cross and a pentagram nestled together on a chain. He wondered about the for a moment before looking at her face. “Seriously... Though... I was wondering... if you’d want to go to the movies. I mean as a sort of payment...” He closed the door when he heard his two idiot friends shouting at him. 

“That’s what you wanted in return?” She laughed slightly. “I mean you don’t have to.” Jacob said quickly. “I’d like that...” She said before he could retract the date. Jacob’s smile jumped right back to his lips, then she leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, again.” She trotted off to her little rental and Jacob went back into her house to wait on the delivery truck. 

--

The first day on the new job went great, only one or two hiccups but nothing to damaging. When she pulled into her drive way at 4:45 the three young men were still there now shirtless as they were helping the moving guys bring in the last few boxes into the house. What caused (Y/n) more concern is she recognized one of her boxes that Jacob was carrying. Not only was it heavier than all hell it was filled with one of her cauldrons. She rarely used because it was heavy. He held it as if it were made of paper. It reminded her of Buffy who was the one who ended up packing it in the first place.

She hopped out of the car and walked up to him with a frown on her face. He had to be magical or something not ‘normal’. 

“Isn’t that heavy?” She didn’t know what to say but she was going to have to see if any of her books would tell what he was. Jacob didn’t seem bad, however. His aura was practically made of heavenly light. There was no way he was evil.

 His dark eyes widened when she asked. “I uh... work out a lot.” His arm flexed slightly, her eyes wondered to look at how muscular he really was she felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to... but just know you can trust me with secrets.” She walked into the living room now filled with the few boxes and furniture she owned. The two boys were chatting away happily. (Y/n) pulled out her phone as Jacob placed the heavy box down on the floor. 

“I’m going to order something in... What do you guys like? My treat!” She smiled at them. 

“Awesome!” Quill held a small smile. They told her the best pizza place they knew of in Forks that delivered, despite more or less knowing La Push better. “You’re awesome!” Embry agreed once the food was ordered. Not a moment later, (Y/n) phone rang and she wondered to the kitchen for a bit of privacy when she heard Willow’s voice. 

In the other room with the three wolves, they began a conversation about Jacob’s imprint. “She said something weird.” He said in a hushed tone, sitting on the floor with his friends. “She said that she could be trusted with my secret...She caught me carrying something heavy... she’s already suspicious ” “Sam did say that you can tell your imprint.” Quill said relaxing a bit. “I know but I thought I would have more time to like... become her boyfriend first.” He sighed. “But there’s something different about her.” “So tell her sooner.” Embry offered. “Or see what Sam thinks.” Then she walked in again, still on the phone talking to Willow. “I should still have that book” She began looking at all the boxes, looking for a certain one that had three letters. MBK. Magic books for long. It was under another box. “One sec, Will.” 

‘Will?’ Jacob frowned for a second. Was she dating someone back home? No, why would she accept his date offer if that was the case. She placed her phone down on a different box to get the other box. With a key she broke the tape and began pulling out what Jacob could only consider some of the oldest looking books he had ever seen. in fact he had no clue what language any of them were in. He glanced at his pack mates who also looked very confused. She found it and continued the conversation almost forgetting the three practical strangers in her living room. She flipped through the pages. “What kind of demon again?” she said softly, looking through the book again. “Thorganath demon. Right. Sorry.” Then she sighed softly. “Yeah, no that’s one of the pages that was ripped when I bought it used.” Silence. “Oh, yeah. How’s Tara? That good, send her my love Willow. Tell Buffy I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.” She hung up and looked over at the boys still looking quite bewildered. 

“Why are you talking about demons?” Jacob spoke. He felt a bit of anxiety radiating off of his imprint. She looked wide eyed at them. “It’s... hard to explain.” “You can trust me with your secrets, (Y/n).” Jacob repeating her words from earlier. “I’ll tell you mine first...” He hated the feeling radiating off of her. This caused them both of the young wolves to look up in surprise. He was just telling them how he didn’t know what to say. Perhaps it was an imprint thing. “We can talk in the kitchen. They can grab the pizza if it gets here before we are done talking.” She simply nods, telling them where the money for it was and following Jacob back to the kitchen.

(Y/n) hopped onto the counter and he leaned against the kitchen island, trying to decide how to explain. “In my tribe we have these stories... “ he began going into the quileute legend of shapeshifts and the cold ones. “They aren’t really stories...” “You’re one.” She finished with a nod, not even remotely shaken. “Yeah, I’m a werewolf basically.” Then she started to laugh. “Oh, not technically no. Real werewolves are much more complicated.” That caused Jacob to take a second look at her. “What?” “My friend Oz is a werewolf. Like an actual light of the full moon werewolf.” Jacob actually looked shocked. Jacob sighed. “There’s another thing about us. When we shift... sometimes... we have what are called imprints.” She was smiling. Like these legends weren’t strange... as if they were comforting. “Basically it’s like soul mates... no... it’s deeper than that... Like... your whole world revolves around that person...and... I... you’re my imprint.” Now it was her turn to look shocked. She supposed soul mates or imprints rather weren’t entirely the weirdest thing. Especially from someone who grew up on top of a literal Hellmouth. In fact, it was cute.

“Well, I suppose you are pretty cute” (Y/n) smiled at him teasingly. Jacob’s grin returned to his face. “Well... now it’s your turn.” “Oh, I’m a witch.” She said simply, going into a few stories about Sunnydale, not going to into detail about each occurrence nor explaining the whole Hellmouth thing. “So, wait... are cold ones...” She paused unsure if he’d call her crazy, especially since a treaty with a vampire nest didn’t sound right. “Are they supposed to be vampires?” His eyes widened. “You’ve dealt with them too?” “Uh, yeah my friend is the slayer.” “The what?” “You know... Vampire slayer. She jabs them in the heart with pointy wooden sticks.” “That’s not how you kill a vampire. They are as hard as diamonds, only my pack can-” “That’s not any vampire I’ve ever met... They are pretty soft and burst into dust in sunlight... Or cutting off their head. Honestly, I’ve staked a few myself.” 

‘She is so cute’ Jacob caught himself thinking. “Do you want to meet one of the vampires? They live here in town. In fact Bella dates one of them!” “Are they busy?” “We are in Forks. So probably not.” Jacob laughed a bit. “Invite them over.” she paused. “Wait, can he come into a house without being invited in?” 

Jacob was very confused now. “Uh... I think so.” His thick eyebrows furrowed together as she shrugged. “Technically not vampires. I’ll call them cold ones though.” Her smile was triumphant. What did she win exactly? Their first argument? Maybe. She moved to Jacob’s side again, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Introduce me to them.” “Maybe later. They aren’t exactly friendly with any other wolves... in fact Edward probably still hates me.” He ran his fingers across his neck. Then he smelled pizza. He lead them back into the living room where they began to eat dinner. “Actually, I’d rather you meet Sam and the rest of pack before you meet vampires.” “They aren’t vampires.” 

“So you guys are shapeshifters hm?” 

-- 

The relationship with (Y/n) and Jacob got stronger even within just a week of living in Forks. Jacob would come over after she got off work and help her unpack, slowly learning about how much darker the monsters were. 

It was almost instant when she called scoobies to explain, though she had a feeling she would be in trouble later but how could she keep something so insane from them? The movie date that Saturday turned into going to meet the pack quite quickly, since that seemed to interest (Y/n) more than seeing anything that was playing. Plus Jacob was asked to patrol that night since he had missed the entire week of patrol. He was glad Sam allowed it, though. They currently sat in front of the small house in Jacob’s truck. (Y/n) was ready to go but Jacob stopped her. “Just... don’t stare at Emily. Sam hates that.” “Why would I?” Jacob sighed softly. “You’ll see.” 

“So... when am I going to see your wolf form?” She asked as they began walking towards the door. “Tonight. I’ll let you see... When do I get to see magic?” he half joked. Then she frowned a bit. “When there is something dangerous going on... Magic... is dangerous.” She said as she walked into the house with Jacob holding the door open. “Hey, Jacob!” A woman a bit older said with a bright smile and a large scar along her face. “Is this her?” “The witch?” A young man said with a joking voice. “(Y/n)...” He introduced. “This is Emily. That’s Seth.” He looked to still be in high school, doing homework on the table. “Wheres...?” “They are on the way back.” Almost on queue, five very large men and one young woman walk in talking excitedly about how they were hungry. How the patrol was fun and so on. The oldest looking one walked over to Emily and placed a kiss on her lips. “Is this the witchy girl?” one said jokingly. “Yeah, ‘witches’. Probably just a weird goth chick.” 

“That’s Jared... and Paul. Sam is over there. Then you know Quil and Embry. That’s Leah.” Jacob nodded to the girl, after introducing the pack. “Ignore Paul. He’s got an attitude problem.” “Can’t be any worse than Spike.” 

“Who?” “Oh, vampire. Completely harmless. Has a chip in his head. Can’t hurt people if he wanted” she said casually, with a wave of a hand. “Oh, great. Another vampire lover, Jacob.” Paul huffed out grabbing a muffin that Emily had just placed on the table. “Oh ick no.” She shook her head. “No, he’s just a necessary evil... Unfortunately.” Jacob moved and grabbed a muffin for him self and handed one to his imprint. Paul and Sam seemed to give her both a confused look. “A chip?” Sam asked suddenly. “Oh, it’s nice to meet you.” He corrected the slightly rude behavior. He wanted to make sure he was a good influence on his fairly young pack. 

“Yep. Government issued.” She shrugged. That made them all look at her in confusion. “You have to be making this up.” Seth said, seemingly by mistake. She sighed. “Fine. Can I borrow the pencil?” She sat next to him getting annoyed. Why wouldn’t a pack of literal wolves believe her? A little small time magic shouldn’t do too much to corrupt her, right? The spell was learned with Willow in high school. It was no big deal. 

Her eyes focused on the pencil she took and laid down. Slowly it floated up and began turning slowly in the air. “All about emotional control” She quoted something that Willow once said to her and Buffy forever ago. It was silent as they watched the simple trick, that was until Seth said “Woah, that’s insane.” This unfortunately caused (Y/n) to jump in surprise and the pencil flew into the wall across the way getting stuck. 

“Oh no! I am so sorry, Emily.” She hopped up and rushed to pull the pencil out of the wall. “I can fix that!” Her hand ran over the hole and then it was gone. “Can you do anything useful?” Paul said sarcastically. “I mean when hunting vampires, floating a wooden pointy thing is pretty useful.” “That’s not how you kill a vampire. That’s a book thing.” Paul seemed annoyed. “No, no it’s not. It’s just your cold ones are calling themselves vampires without knowing what a real vampire is.” Sam sat down with Emily both interested in whatever (Y/n) had to say. Everything she spoke of was completely off of what their legends and experiences have showed them. Witches seemed real, that’s entirely possible in Sam’s mind since it was a form of magic that turned the pack into wolves. 

“She’s told me some crazy sounding things.” Jacob sat next to his imprint, in a way that he was able to touch her thigh with his own. His hand move to gently touch her’s under the table. “I’ll introduce you guys to the slayer. If the monsters could chill out by the time fall break happens for her of course. The scoobies should be coming out. Then you can meet some real powerful witches.” Her smile was bright as if this was completely normal.

“Slayer?” Sam asked looking her over. “Oh, right. You guys don’t know about that. Okay, so there’s this thing called the slayer. She is born with the power to kill all kinds of dark things but mainly vampires. A new one is activated every time the last one dies.” She explained more on the legend a bit. They were still very skeptical of (Y/n)’s vampire experiences however. 

“Have you even met the Cullens yet?” Leah asked confused. “No, but I’d be interested in meeting them.” “It’s dangerous.” Sam said calmly as Emily began serving dinner to the large group. “I mean... I went to high school on top of a literal hellmouth. Can’t be that dangerous...” “What’s that?” Seth asked taking a bit of his food. “It’s like... evil shooting out of hell.” 

Then her phone rang. Buffy flashed on the screen. “Sorry, I gotta take this.” 

"Do you still have that rare book on ancient artifacts?” “Used in rituals... yeah?” “Can you mail it?”

“Of course I can. Just send it back in one piece. Don’t let Xander speak latin to it. I can send it Monday after work.” “Thanks... so uh... are you still hanging out with that Jacob guy?” “Yeah... kinda am.. right now.” 

“Oh, sorry. Thanks. I might have to call you again later.” 

-- 

Dinner went well, surprisingly. Perhaps it was an ‘imprinted to a wolf in their pack’ thing but it really felt like she belonged in the group of La Push boys. “Don’t worry, (Y/n) I won’t keep him out long. I’ll send him to take you home in a couple hours.” Sam said with a gentle smile as they walked out to see the boys off. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’d like to get to know Emily.” She smiled at Emily who was watching from the door. The boys wondered to the tree line, Jacob had explained it was easier to transform naked than to go through a million shorts a day. 

Sam smiled to her again before following the others in. Then a large brown wolf walks out from the tree line. His eyes were large and brown. “So that’s what you look like as a wolf, Jacob.” Jacob couldn’t help but think about how smart she was, getting him a bit of teasing from his pack mates. Jacob slowly walked forward and her hand reached out, gently ran her fingers through the long fur. Then she paused. “It’s kind of weird to pet your head isn’t it? I mean imagine if I walked up to you in your human form and just... patted your head.” A noise came from him. A laugh perhaps? She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his muzzle. “Stay safe. Let me know if you need any help.” She waved as he ran off to join his pack. 

This was going to be fun to explain to the Scoobies.

[huearmy]

The Smell of Truth - II

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 3291

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: N/A.  Jungkook continues to be just a cute pie here ok dont touch me.

Chapter I  -  Chapter III  Chapter IV  Chapter V  Chapter VI Chapter VII

You have always been enchanted by hybrids. You grew up surrounded by them, they were friends and family. Literally. For exemple, your favorite uncle adopted your cousin, a cat hybrid, when you were five and she was three, he and his wife wanted a second child but could't have one biologically anymore, and you got a friend as a gift. You never saw your cous being treated diferently from her older sister, indeed they were equaly loved by the whole family. You two would run and play for hours together. 

You learned some diferences between you and hybrids when living with your cousin in childhood. The first one was that you, unfortunately, don't have fluffy beautiful ears and tail like they do, more than once your mother needed to comfort you before going to sleep cuz you were crying, wanting to be cute too. The second was that you were always at a disadvantage in games like hide and seek and tag you it, but you still had fun. The third is that hybrids can't go to school like normal kids. Until a certain age you were home schooled, taking classes with a tutor, when you turned eleven things changed a little bit, and you started studying at an elite college. Your world expanded, you started to study more hours a day and met new people, new teachers, classmates, you made new friends that gradually showed you a cruel world that you didn't know. Most of your friends were also daughters of politicians and entrepreneurs, just like you, and just like you, they grew up surrounded by hybrids. But while they were family to you, to your classmates they were butlers, maids, pets. Soon you started to understand the injustice of it all, of why you were bullied when you talked about your cousin, why you didn't like to go to some friends' house where you would see them treating their hybrids coldly. 

The last straw came when you were fourteen, more specifically your birthday. Until then you kept your friends from meeting your cousin, for fear that the situation would be strang, but it was you birthday, you wanted all your friends in your sleepover, including her. At the beginning of the night you were apprehensive, but your friends did nothing but find your cousin cute and be kind to her, so you relaxed. Everything was going well until one of her best friends decided that she liked your cousin so much that she was going to "ask her father to buy her".Your cousing didn't understand at the time, it was the first time that she was treated as something and not as a person. You were so angry that the party ended right there, most girls left, even though it was two-thirty in the morning. Days later you were expelled from school for getting involved in a fight and assaulting one of the girls who used the wrong word to define your family. You went back to school at home, with the best private tutors, and the world outside was no longer so beautiful. That's how you, already in college, joined a radical activist group for the sake of hybrids.

The concept of owning someone was disgusting for you, that's why you never adopted any hybrid, just fought to free them, in and out of law.That's why you don't recognizes yourself in the decision of getting Jungkook home. But here are you, driving your SUV with him sitting next to you in the passenger's seat. You want the best for each hybrid you have ever rescued, but never before have you been so involved that you are directly responsible for one as you are now doing with him. 

Jungkook have followed you to your car, where you gave him a oversized hoodie of yours to wear - the nigth got cold - and snacks that you had prepared for your trip back home. He was really entertained comparing flavors of three diferent chips, that he didn't even noticed when your black outlaw clothes are gone, replaced by a summer dress in a cardigan. Well, he couldn't remember the last time he had a chance to eat chips, it was probably when he was a kid, and there weren't that many flavors. Of couse, he was refraining from asking you too many questions, that were filling your head like: How is house? Will it be long before we arrive? Do you live with someone else? Do you have other hybrids? Do you do these jobs every night? ... But he kept silent, like a good boy.You said the drive to your city would take about two hours, that he could sleep, but he wanted to keep awake and looking out the window at the landscape, the trees he had never seen so many together and other cars, once in a while passing by with their lights on. It would be beautiful during the day too, he thought. The music playing softly on the radio is also cool.

"Ok." You brake the silence. "We have sometime before we get home, we can talk and get to know each other until then."

Jungkook took a sip of his soda before answering. 

"To know each other?"

"Yeah. Like a  game where we tell things about ourselves and ask each other something..."

"Got it. How do I win this game?" Jungkook got excited.

"It wasn't supposed to be a competition." You laughed, and then got thoughtful. "If you make a question you got one point. If you tell a fact about yourself without being asked you got two points..."

"Whoever has the most points wins. Ok." Jungkook softly clapped his hands with a happy soud coming from his mouth, the gesture doesn't go unnoticed by you. You showd him where to find paper and pen in the glove compartment for him to write down the points. In one side of the page he writed your initials and in the other, his - JK.

"I go first. Hummm... My full name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm twenty-three. And you, what' is your age?"

"Woaaaa, Y/N! You already have five points, you are good at it." Jungkook excitedly wrote down your points, already thinking about what to say. "I'm twenty-two, but not for long, my birthday is in september. I'm a virgo. What's your sign?"

"Y/S." You responds. "You are into zodiac?"

"Not exactly. But it was a fact about me." Jungkook smile to you making you look away from the road for a moment longer than insurance so you can look at the dimples under his eyes. "Among these three chip flavors, which is your favorite?" "Both cheddar and bacon, I can't choose between them" You answered without hesitation. "Actually I love cheddar and bacon in any context. Did you decided wich one you like the most?"

Jungkook thoughtfully compared the chip packs.

"Nope. I like them all together. I like sweets more. Do you live with someone else?" Jungkook took the courage to ask something that was really on his mind.

"No, is just me in my apartament. But theres always a friend or relative visiting me, almost everyday. " 

Jungkook he felt a confusion of feelings, he did not know if he should be happy or disappointed that you lived alone, and as a result, that he will live only with you. It would be nice if you live with siblings or your parents if they are good like you, but at same time if they are bad he prefers to be with just you.

"How is your family?" He asked before you could make your next question.

"They are great." You said, your tone of voice and eyes ligthing up with affection. "I'm single child, but my family is quite big. We are all focused on progressive thinking of liberating hybrids. That's why I'm part of activist groups ... Of course, only I do this more clandestine work, and my mother doesn't even know. She would be crazy worry. You will like them I think. I have like six cousins, two girls and four guys... Oh my God, they will tease me so much for bringing a boy to live with me..."

Clearly your family is a trigger for you to talk non-stop. Jungkook concluded that your family must be really cool, for you to like them so much, making him wanting to know them too. It got him a little nervous. What would them think about him? Your talking makes your family look amazing, while he’s no big deal. Worse than being uninteresting is not being liked, and there are really bad things about him ... More bad than good things actually. Your family not liking him is scary, and thinking that you might know about his bad past and not liking him any longer suddenly made him anxious. 

You were bragging about your great-aunt's cooking skills when noticed Jungkook got too quiet.

"You are ok, Jungkook?"

He looked at you awkwardly, eyes round like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes."

"Sorry I talked too much." You let a weak laugh out, feeling embarrassed. "Is your turn now. Go ahead."

Jungkook looked through the window, avoiding looking to you.

"I don't know what else I have to say... You already won anyway." He showed you the score, your inicials with no space left to write down points. 

"Oh I bet you have a lot of things to say."

"Not good things." Jungkook dared to say, already regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth.Your voice softned.

"You don't need to tell me anything you are not ready to tell. Even if you're never ready. But I know that you are a person, and people are made up of many things, not just bad things." A moment of silence followed, you thinking about the next thing to say. "If you don't want to talk about past things... Lets talk about the future. What do you want to have for lunch tomorrow?"

________________________________________________________________

At some point Jungkook finally fell asleep. You drove an entire hour alone, slowly sipping an energy drink, his soft snores beside you not letting you forget about his presence. Everything you want is to sleep too, your eyes heavy, your body numb. You were thinking of it an how you would be in your bed about time, in your fluffy pijamas and warm socks, when blue and red lights appeared in your rear view mirror.

 You pulled over and waited to the cop to come closer to lower the window

."Good nigth, officer." 

You greeted in a low voice.The man just nodded writing down your license plate. 

"Do you know why I made you pull over?" He said, louder than you.

"No, sir." You calmly answered, shrugging. "I was not above the speed limit and my tail lights are ok."

He made an approving sound.

"Papers please."

You turned on the light and reached out to get your documents from the glove compartment, making Jungkook open his sleepy eyes with a groan.

"Y/N?" He called with a pout. The ultimate pout."Shhh. Keep sleeping, babe. We didn't arrived yet."

He obeyed immediately, leaning his head on the window, and you can tell he didn't really wake up in the first place. He was with his cap and hoodie on, so the cop couldn't see his ears and know he is a hybrid. And theis way is better, you thought. 

"Your boyfriend?" The cop asked while analyzing your driver's license.Time to improvise with your acting skills.

"Kind of." You timidly put a lock of hair behind your ear.He scanned the trash in the car."Any alcohol?"

"No, sir. Just energy drink and soda." You smiled.

He did the breathalyzer test on you anyway. 

Since it didn't point to guilty results, you were released to continue your journey.

 You took a deep breath, glad he didn't asked to inspect the car, he would surely find something that would link you to the terrorist act against the shelter, as the newspapers would for sure report the next day.

The good part is that forging Jungkook's adoption document in your name with a date prior to the rescue will be super easy, as the shelter's records blew up in the explosion. That thought made you relax and start driving normally. ________________________________________________________________

"Jungkook. Jungkook wake up." You shook his shoulder, his sleep too heavy. His head fell forward, making him jump in his spot, blinking heavily, the ultimate pout making another appearance. "We arrived, Jungkook."

Jungkook slowly regained consciousness, seeing you standing outside the car, beside him, holding the door open for him to get out.

"We're at home?." His face got bright.

"Yeah. Come."

It was a courtyard at the back of a small old building, it was still early in the morning, the sky was still dark and no one in town was awake. You turned on the car alarm, and guided a still sleepy but very attentive to the details of the new place, Jungkook, to the back door of the building, taking the bunch of keys out of his pocket - of your hoodie that he was wearing. He liked the proximity, the soud of the keys and the smell of the place. Actually the smell was pretty amazing, specially when you opened the door and everything inside got your smell, and others good things.

 You noticed his nose working in the air and laughed.

"Is a flower shop. Do you like it?" You asked.

Something made sense to Jungkook, it's not that the place smelled like you, you smelled like flowers because of the place.

"Yeah. Is pretty good." He said still sniffing the air.

"On the first floor we have the shop, on the second the shop office and a photo studio that I rent to a friend... And on the third and fourth is our home." You tell him as you go up the stairs, he following you closely. "Early on, both the store and the office are open, but this should not be a problem if you want to sleep till late."

"Ok."

You two whispered up to the third floor, a small corridor with two doors on one side and windows on the other. You stepped forward to the first door, the entrance to the living room and struggled to fide the rigth key in the dark. 

Jungkook noticed a faint light coming from under the door and a murmur inside. There was someone in there. He got alert and slightly apprehensive.

You finally oppened the door and got inside, dropping your heavy bag on the floor, the keys in the corner table, kicking off your boots. Jungkook got inside with short steps, looking around cautiously, looking for the person who would ambush you both. The light was the TV... He smelled a cat. 

"Y/n?" A sweet and sleepy voice reached your ears, a little form lifted on the couch. A sniffing soud and the sweet voice got hostile. "Who is this?"

"Yeri, you are here." You smiled, not really caring for the mood changing of her. Jungkook stepped behind you a little. "This is Jungkook. Jungkook, this is Yeri, my cousin."

"Hi." Jungkook tryied.

"What's he doing here? You never brought anyone home ..."

And by anyone she meant hybrids, and Jungkook knows it. He couldn't see her face in the dark, just her luminous cat eyes with vertical pupils, the dominant presence of those who had their territory invaded radiating from her. 

"There is always a first time I guess." You say, still ignoring the awkward atmosphere, taking off your cardigan and hanging it on the rack behind the front door. "Are you in the guest room?"

Yeri got up and turned off the TV.

"No. I'm sleeping with you."Clearly she didn't trust Jungkook yet. If you bet, she was ready to sleep in the guest room, but now she decided to sleep with you to protect you from the stranger. 

"Ok." You said.

"Ok." She said. 

She turned on the light in the corridor, taking a few steps to the top floor, with bare feet and cute pijamas, and then stopped looking at Jungkook. Now he could see her face. The scariest cat he has ever seen. "Welcome to the family." And than she disappeared up the stairs.

Jungkook gulped, not sure what to think about it.

"She liked you." You told him, putting a hand in the small of his back.

"How do you know?" He asked you with round eyes.

"She didn't say she disliked you." You smiled. "Yeri is pretty honest about her feelings."

You took him to a room in the hall, with a messy cat-smelling bed in the middle, an empty desk and an armchair close to the window, and an empty closet. Beside the bed on the floor was an open handbag , with women's clothing showing up.

"She said she wasn't going to sleep here..." Jungkook pointed.

"Yeah, she lied about it. She wouldn't let me put you to sleep on the couch, though..." You went down the hall and came back with another blanket. "Aaaand, this will be your room. You'd better get used to it."

You fixed the sheets and changed the blanket and pillowcases, probably to help with the cat smell, odorless bedding help to make the bed more of him.

"That's what I can offer you for now, after all I wasan't expecting to adopt you. We can fix it later." You tiredly said, picking Yeri's bag from the floor.

"Ah... Don't worry.". Jungkook wanted to say he was already happy with what he got, that being adopted in firts place was more than he expected, that he was greatfull of your caring so far. But he couldn't find the words to put in on.

"Good, bucause I'm dead tired... I need to sleep, and you do too." You gave him a pat in his back, and went to the door. "If you need it, theres a bathroom in the end of the corridor. Good night." And than you closed the door behind you.

Jungkook waited for the sound your staps desapeard to start moving and breathing again. He was in his room! He ran to the window and opened the curtains a little to see outside, it seemed to be a main street in a small town, but Jungkook had never stepped in a small town before to have reference. He tryied the armchair and conclued it was confortable enouth to take a nap on it. The closet was big enough for him to fit in - he tested it - another possible place for good naps. With leaps of joy he imagined all the things he could kept there, the clothes and shoes he didn't have yet but dream of having. Fantasizing about when you were going to take him to shopping, he put the hat on one of the top shelves and closed the double doors carefully, to make any noise. And then threw himself on the bed, scenting the sheets, sighing contentedly. He took off his shoes and placed beside the bad, his wallet in the nigthstand - open like a picture frame, showing the photo of two hybrid little boys embracing and smiling - , and the suffed bunny lying next to him with it's own pillow.

All in this room felt so real to him, as much as your smell. If you said it will be his room so it's true, because se believe in you, and he is so happy.With the thought of a bright future with you Jungkook finally fell asleep again.

___________________________________________________________

Tag list: @stayunderthelights​ ​  @deolly​ @panconte​

___________________________________________________________

Thakyou!!! Let me know if you liked it... <3 <3 <3 This is a sub blog so I wont respond coments, but I read it all.

[brelione]

The Surfer And The Siren

Chapter Three:The Conspiracy Blog,The Investigation and The Shitty Sister In Law

Chapter One       Chapter Two

Warnings:Mentions of racism,homophobia

S0rry that this chapter is kind of short.The next one will be longer.

You didn't understand how you had never found out about this.The article was from 2012 by a conspiracy blog.There were dozens of photographs of you,a bright red circle showing where you was in group photos that were taken in the fifties and more from the seventies.There were a few photos of your large scales the size of quarters that had been found on coral reefs and posted on facebook with captions asking for someone to tell the finder what animal the scale belonged to.Another photo showed a photo of your fluke splashing out of the water.In some your hair had been tucked into your old red hat so the mess of blue waves wouldn't be seen.But somehow those photos had been linked to others from the bridge of your nose and the color of your skin.You kind of missed the old days before all the facial recognition technology.

You went through the photos to see paragraphs and paragraphs with quotes from the interview with Linden. “Linden Sislip,sister of poet and former pawn shop owner claims that her brother was in love with the sea monster of Outer Banks.For decades a murderous mermaid-like creature has haunted the waters and supposedly lured multiple men to painful water related deaths.Outerbanks is known as Paradise on Earth and is home to countless millionaires AKA the sea monsters preferred prey.Some think the creature has migrated elsewhere because of a string of similar deaths closer to California.What do you think?”That article had to be the most bull shit thing you had ever read.Luckily most of the comments agreed,calling the photos fake and saying the scales were that of a tuna’s.

That was pretty insulting to say the least but at least they didn't actually believe you were a serial killing sea monster.That made you feel better but knowing how much Linden hated you definitely hurt a bit.She had hated most people though.She hated the poor,people of color,lgbt+,cats and babies.What kind of sociopath hates cats and babies?You couldn't wrap your head around the fact that somehow she was raised by the same parents he was yet she ended up like that.He was ahead of his time.He was respectful and kind and he loved everyone regardless of social status,race or sexuaity.That’s what made you feel so close to him.Linden had always stared in disgust when he bought extra newspapers to bring to people who couldn't afford them or when he saved his food to bring to children whose parents worked three jobs and still couldn't pay for a decent meal.

You pitied Linden,you couldn't even imagine being that closed minded and ignorant.Things were much worse in the South for sure but you tried your best to get to people.After he had passed away Linden had forced the rest of the family to completely shut you out.You couldn't go to the funeral or even go into their home to grab things that you could remember him by.She blamed you fro his death when she should have blamed herself.It was a terrible thought because in reality there was noone to blame but he had spent so much time in his life trying to convince her to be a good person and convince her to respect people.It had been a waste of years trying to wear her down and make her good but you cant help them all.

The interview didn't really shock you that much.She had always been bitter about you and your origins bit what did shock you was the fact that she had a son in 1950.A son named Bellamy Maybank. “Shit.”You whispered under your breath.Richard waited for you to explain your shock but when you didn't say anything he grew impatient. “What?”He asked.You just nodded,trying to form words.This was real life.This wasnt some weird dream or a conspiracy.This was actually real.This article was published 8 years ago and you had never seen it.

How could you have never seen it?You wondered if Richard knew and had hid it from you but that couldnt be.He knew just as little as you did. “You were right...but theres a time gap.How good are you at investigating?”You asked.A wide smile came across his mature,wrinkly face. “Are you forgetting about how I sunk Ward Cameron’s boat and completely trashed his plans in like...two hours?”He asked.You laughed quietly.Richard had always been so proud of that. “God,how could I forget?”You grinned,looking back up at the TV. “So what do you need me to find out?Make me a list in my notes app.You know which one the notes app is,right?”He teased.You rolled your eyes,opening the app and making a new note.

Close the time gap (after 50-now)

Learn about JJ,Pope,Kiara and the other one.

Check up on Ward’s plans

It had been a hot minute since you had Richard investigate someone.Last time had been nearly 20 years ago.Turns out Ward Cameron was hunting you down in attempt to kidnap and sell you.he was a fucked up son of a trout and you would most definitely say that to his face if given  the chance.You placed the phone down,looking back up at the tv.The main character was threatening a rude looking blonde boy with terrible fashion sense. “Could we drive around for a while?”You asked.He nodded,standing up from his chair.His feet were sore but he always pulled through for you.You two went back out to his car.He turned on your favorite CD that belonged to Billie Eilish.So much had changed since just a few years ago.Someone like Billie would absolutely be an outcast back when you were her age.

Something about the way that cars moved made you happy.It was strange to see the world shifting around you.How poor people rode horses and the rich had cars and how the tables had turned.You had seen so many wars and so many deaths yet you had watched multiple births.You watched segregation end and witnessed people of all races and ethnicities get the right to vote.You had seen the day that the lgbt community finally got rights.And you had helped with it all.You had experienced the life of the poor and of the filthy rich and you were only a quarter through your life.You had been a friend to Marilyn Monroe and saw the day that JFK was assassinated.You had seen so much that no one else had experienced.

You had heard so many old folks complain about the music of today and how it had been so much better back in their day but you could not disagree more.There was no reason to bash the modern ones music.All music is good music except for country music,of course.Richard drove through figure 8 so you could gaze at all the houses.It was quite disgusting that there were only an average of three people living in huge mansions with six bedrooms that they didn't need yet there were families of eight suffering in tiny houses made for three people maximum.The rich were greedy,bitter and overall selfish and annoying.

The poor were generous and grateful for everything they did have and were more likely to be kind and understanding.It was really just a sad place but you didn't want to go anywhere else.A lot of other areas had water that was far too polluted but definitely had better people and a better atmosphere on land.It didn't really matter how great the land was when you could only see it once a month anyways.Plus OBX had a great cave system and pretty nice weather.Richard turned his car,going back to The Cut.If you were to live anywhere in Outer Banks it would most definitely be The Cut.It had an all around better atmosphere,friendlier people and better hiding spots. “So how are the naiads?Have you heard from them?”He asked,purposefully driving slowly.You sighed,turning down the radio. 

“Not really,the only river entrance got blocked off by a ton of fallen branches.I haven't gotten any calls from them though so thats good.Its not that I don't like them or anything but they're just….god,they're so annoying.”You leaned back in your chair.He chuckled. “Does Esmerelda still have a crush on you?”He asked,turning down the dirt road.You nodded. “She’s just….she’s cute but she’s annoying,you know?”You asked.He nodded. “That ones always been kinda strange in the head.”He agreed.Once you got back to the house the sky was lightening up which meant you had such little time.You sat in the backyard in one of the camping chairs with your paper bag in your hand and the drawstring bag hanging off your shoulders.Blue sat with his head on your knee,staring up at you with his big shiny eyes.

He knew the drill by now,his drool making a dark puddle on your jeans as he whined for attention before you had to leave again.Richard had tried to bring the dog out to see you before but it never worked out.Blue got eager and excited and walked to fast for Richard and it wasn't safe for a dog to walk along rough and bumpy rocks.It wasn't exactly safe for an elderly man either but it sucks to suck.You stared up at the sky,wiggling your toes while you still could.As the sun began to come up over the horizon a similar aching pain spread from your heels to your thighs,your body feeling heavy. “I’ll see you next week,(Y/N).”Richard stood up to hug you.You hugged him back,tears pricking at your eyes.

Blue pawed at you,licking your jeans.You kissed his forehead lightly before limping down to the water.You dragged yourself into the water,collapsing when you were at your knees.Your legs tingled,your head slipping under the water as your legs knit together in a painful mess.From below your hips your tail grew,your hair falling in your face as all evidence that you had been human left you.Your hend clenched the deteriorating paper bag as you swished your fins,gaining control over your body again.The sun was now reflecting off the water,nearly blinding you.You ducked under the water,going deeper and deeper.

If you’d like to be added to the taglist comment a smiley face

@milamaybank @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @unmotivatedwritings  @danicarosaline @sexualparkour  @asaks6082 @mac-daddy-210 @prejudic3 @n1ghtsh4d3-67

[bestbluebouquet]

Flirting with Social Anxiety

Roman and Virgil run a podcast together, helping lonely souls with romantic advice. But maybe the best romance was the one they found along the way...

Podcast AU

Characters: Roman, Virgil.

Pairing(s)- Prinxiety

No Warnings (but let me know if I missed one)

---

It’s two pm on a Thursday afternoon. Roman Prince stands in front of Virgil Storm’s garage and punches in a number that is more muscle memory than actual memory at this point. As soon as the garage door opens enough for him to duck under, he does so, squeezing between a large trash can and a beat up silver car to get to the door into the house. He closed the garage door on his way in. Roman cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered into the house.

“VIR~GIL.” 

A pause 

“DOWN HERE!” came the shouted reply from the basement. Roman jogged down the stairs and into the recording studio. 

“Everything set up?” he asked as he dropped into the cushy chair waiting for him. Across the table and two mics away, sat Virgil, who checked something on his computer and nodded slowly.

“Yup. Got everything you need?”

Roman pulled out his computer and wiggled it in the air for Virgil to notice, before setting it down on the table. 

“Here.” Virgil kicked the power-strip under the table over to Romans side. Roman gratefully plugged his computer in and pulled up the page he needed. He put on his headphones and Virgil did so as well.

“Alright, ready when you are..”.

“Five, four, three, two, one.” Virgil pointed at Roman to start talking.

“Hello and welcome back to another episode of Flirting with Social Anxiety. I’m the Flirting,”

“And I’m the Anxiety. If you’re new to the show and haven’t listened before, we take your romantic problems and give you solutions.”

“Although for legal reasons, we are not experts and this is a comedy podcast.”

“Please don’t sue us.”

The pair fell into a comfortable rhythm. One of them would pull up a submitted scenario that they chose for that week. They'd debate, share a laugh and move on. Four scenarios flew by in what felt like 20 minutes, although a glance at the clock on his computer told him it was closer to an hour and a half. Roman twirled his finger in the air questioningly, asking Virgil if he was ready to wrap it up. 

Virgil held up one finger and mouthed “one more”. Roman leaned back in his chair and Virgil cleared his throat before starting to read. 

“Dear Flirting with Social Anxiety. I think I’m in love with my best friend. I’ve known him since college and we recently started working the same job. We’re both gay men, so at least I know he swings my way. But what do I do? This guy is really important to me and I don’t want to mess things up. 

Virgil took a sip of water, watching as Roman took a second to consider it. 

“I would say to go for it-”

Virgil choked on his water. Roman paused as Virgil coughed into his sleeve. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah”

“Alright. But yeah, I think this person - did they give a name?”

“Uhhh, no.”

“This person should go for it! What’s there to lose? If he’s really your best friend then he shouldn't abandon you over that. If he likes you back, then perfect! If he doesn’t, your friend should be able to put on big boy pants and deal with it.”

Virgil stayed silent. Roman looked at him expectantly. 

“Well Mister Doom and Gloom? Your turn.” Roman flashed a crooked smile “That’s kinda how this podcast works”

“I don't think he should go for it.”  Virgil said softly, then cleared his throat. “I mean, it sounds too risky. It sounds like they could lose their best friend. It’s not worth it.”

“Oh come on Negative Nelson, love is always worth it!”

“Well what if it’s not that simple?”

Virgil was now staring intently at him from across the table, more heated than he usually got during the recording. Roman looked him in the eye. 

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same thing?”

He asked as softly as he could. Virgil looked away and took a sip of water. After a second he nodded.  

“Yeah. Of course. this guys deal.”

A silence fell.

“Anyway.” Virgil started the outro “I think that's today's episode.”

“I think I agree.”

“Tune in next week to listen to even more flirting.”

“And even more anxiety. See you next week listeners.”

Roman waited until Virgil had taken off his headphones before he took his off. When Virgil took off his headphones, it meant everything was taken care of on his end of things. Usually the symbolic removal was followed by a loud sigh and a soft smile, but this time Virgil's face was tight. 

“Virgil..”

Virgil shot up from his seat nervously. 

“I need to go to the bathroom.”

He blurted out and all but ran upstairs. Roman made to get out of his chair, but stopped. He thought about the scenario Virgil gave him. Two gay men, met in college, work the same job.... Oh. Oh.

Roman almost slapped himself in the face for just now realizing it. Of course Virgil would try to get his opinion on the situation in an undercover way before making a move. 

Roman made up his mind and slowly walked upstairs. Virgil wasn't in the first floor bathroom, so he continued up to the second floor. There he found the bathroom tucked away in Virgil's bedroom with a closed door and a sliver of light emanating from within. He knocked his knuckles on the door quietly. 

“Hey Virgil.” he said to the door, then settled on the floor. “You don't have to say anything right now, but if you could listen for a bit, I think I have something that you might want to hear. If you want to hear it that is. ” 

There was a slight shuffling on the other side of the door and the door creaked behind Roman, which made him think Virgil had sat on the other side of the door

“Go ahead.” Virgil whispered.

“Okay. I've been thinking of that scenario you told me, and it reminded me of one I read. It was about a man who recently began working with his best friend in the world. A best friend that he met in a coffee shop in college, where the friend was working on an essay at 11:00 pm and fell asleep, only for the dashing writer (and part time barista) to give him a blanket.”

A huffed laugh from the other side of the door.

“The writer spoke about his best friend and how he was the most important person in the world to him. The person he could rely on the most, the person he turned to when he needed advice. His rock.” 

Roman trailed off and cleared his throat

“And he spoke about how sometimes he wished that they were more than best friends.” He said softly, leaning his head back on the door.“And I’m not talking about super-best friends.” He added, just to get Virgil to laugh. 

And he did. 

“I think I know what you're talking about.” Virgil said. 

“Yeah. How whenever his friend laughed or smiled in just the right way, his heart skipped a beat.”

“How when the sun lit up his hair it shined like gold.”

“Or when he looked him in the eye, his brain shorted out.”

“Or how he put his heart into everything he did.” 

“And how he knew he loved him.” Roman whispered

“And how he loved him back.” Virgil whispered back.

The doorknob rattled and Roman turned around. The door opened and Virgil was sitting there on the other side. Virgil opened his arms for a hug and Roman wrapped his arms around him as tight as he could. 

“I love you, Roman.”

“I love you too, Virgil.”

They sat there for a while, not wanting to let go of each other, never wanting to let go of each other again. Eventually, Virgil’s stomach growled slightly and Roman chuckled.

“Want to order a pizza?”

“Only if it's veggie.”

“Of course, I wouldn't dream of anything else.”

And if the two spent the rest of the night cuddled on the couch eating veggie pizza and watching old Disney movies until they fell asleep? Well, that was nobody’s business but their own.

--

Taglist:

@coconut-cluster, @dew-drop-of-honey, @astrozei, (and I believe @caramel-clouds25, @bihufflepuffsstuff, @prinxiety-shipper101 and @nowhere-man-goes-somewhere expressed interest? but theres no pressure to stay on this taglist :D)

(if you would like to be removed from or added to this taglist, let me know in the notes or send me an ask!)

A/N: Here it is!! This took longer than I thought but I wanted to get it out today. I hope y’all enjoy it. Reblog/Like/Comment! Feel free to ask me q’s about this AU, I’d love to answer them! Let me know about any spelling/grammar errors I may have made

[imbumkyung]

I Saw It In A Movie One Time (ch.2) - reincarnation

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

“She’ll be okay,” the man said

Kaileia lay on a towel that CJ and Miko set up. A man that was out surfing saw Kai getting washed up by the ocean and quickly pulled her out

“She probably just took in some water and passed out from shock but she’ll be good,” He finished, offering a nod to her friends.

“Oh, okay. Thank you so much,” Miko smiled before he went on his way, his wetsuit and board leaving a wet trail behind him. She was thankful they didn’t need 911 because to be real honest here, they were all broke as heck.

Not too long later Kai coughed a few times before waking up.

“Dude are you okay?” CJ asked

“Yeah I’m fine I just have a headache right now,” Kai replied, her voice filled with fatigue.

“Oh my god I thought you died,” Melissa said, half joking.

-

Kaileia didn’t remember what happened the rest of that night, only that Miko let her sleep over at her place. So when she awoke the next morning in a room that wasn’t hers, it wasn’t alarming at all.

What was alarming though was that she was asleep way longer than she thought she’d be. Usually she slept in until it was about ten to eleven a.m. Now, it was already two p.m. She stayed in bed for a little nonetheless, her inner monologue explaining the tasks of the day: walk the dogs, go to the gym, get that TB test and fingerprint scan done so you can start working soon. Mustering up as much leg strength as she could, she got up to go get ready for the day. She searched for her backpack with her change of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste and all her other things, the only thing missing was her phone for her morning music. Puzzled, she couldn’t find it anywhere in her bag and come to think of it, she’d never seen this room in Miko’s house before. And the day looked a lot more glum than the usual Kauai sun.

“Miko? Have you seen my phone?” She questioned aloud enough for her to hear if she was downstairs. To no avail, she tried again, “Miko?”

Silence

Did Miko have somewhere to be this morning? She couldn’t call her without a phone so she figured she’d find a house phone and made her way downstairs. As soon as she openned the door of the bedroom, she froze

I have no idea who’s house this is.

A white hallway with a room straight across, a bathroom to the right and a staircase to the left. Carefully going down the staircase she was even more shocked and afraid— I really don’t know who’s house this is.

She found a smaller sized kitchen and a living room next to it, big enough to fit two couches and a TV, the front door on the upper right corner.

She picked up the house phone hanging right by the kitchen, only to realize she didn’t even know Miko’s number— it was saved to the cell phone she couldn’t find. Was I kidnapped? Am I in a murderer’s home?

Call mom, you idiot

Her hands scrambled in panic as she dialed her moms number,

“You have reached the voicemail box of pause Susie May, please leave a message! At the to—”

Who the fuck is Susie May? Spotting a pair of car keys on the table, Kaileia didn’t know where she was going, or what she would do, but she needed to get out of this murderer’s house as fast as she could. She ran up the stairs, her knees quivering from fear she paid as least mind to as she possibly could, grabbed her backpack, took the keys and ran outside. Walking as fast as she could, she smashed the lock button until she heard a beeping from one of the cars. Discovering which car the key belonged to, she put it in ignition and drove.

Nothing was familiar. Absolutely nothing. The island she lived on was small enough for her to have explored it all as she lived there for a whole 19 years, so it made no sense she’d never seen this place before. Her conclusion: the kidnapper took her to a land unknown. And she couldn’t go back to that house. Ever.

She made a right, and a left, and another right, trying to find something familiar. It took one wrong right at a stop light she didn’t realize— and a cop was right there. He signaled for her to pull over, most likely to ticket her for this minor mistake. Kai sighed— this is the last thing right now. I’m literally fleeing my kidnapper.

She rolled down her window, “Is there a reason you didn’t stop at the stop sign, ma’am?” The officer in black sunglasses asked. There was no reason for the sunglasses, really.

She shook her head, still in shock from everything that’s happened, especially from being questioned by a cop— the last time something like this happened, she had to pay so much money to fix her own car, and still needed to pay because the lady she crashed into went to physical therapy— taking the advice of her claims assistant, even tho Kai had left nothing more than a crack of paint on said lady’s car. In short, Kai wasn’t ready to be broke all over again.

“License, registration and insurance, please,” He requested.

She nodded, and scrambled the compartment to look for the information she knew she didn’t have. It surprised her though, she did find the registration and insurance. She left that into her lap to find her license in her backpack. She froze. It had her name and her picture but it was missing the rainbow and the blue letters reading “Hawaii”. It was instead a normal creme colored background and read “Washington” across the top. She scrambled back to the registration and insurance in her lap— both under her very own name. She couldn’t think. Shakily and obviously very nervous, she handed all three documents to the officer.

He received them with a nod, then took them to the police car, most likely to run her records. But how is this car under her name? How did she end up in Washington, and why Washington? What the fuck was here, that brought her here? Theres literally no reason to be here. It’s cloudy, it’s cold, it’s depressing.

He brought all three back to her, “Well there’s nothing on your record, and I’ve decided I’ll let you off with a warning,” he concluded.

Kai sighed gratefully, “Thank you so much Officer”

“You be careful now,” he advised, and his radio went off

“Chief Swan, do you copy?” A man said over the system

He nodded to her before dismissing her. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Washington. I’m in Washington. What am I doing in the mainland? How is this car mine? Everyone here dresses weird. Could it be, that the house is also mine? Don’t be stupid. You might fall into the murderer’s trap. You should have told the officer while you had the chance. I mean you still do, technically. They haven’t moved and neither have you.

Maybe we could just check? You’re seriously gonna take a chance on death? Maybe.

Without thinking, she circled around the town before going back to the house she woke up in. It was now 6pm. If the murderer was to return, they’d have surely been home by now, right? But the sight she saw in front of her house was anything but a murderous aura. It was a father and his son riding on his little tikes bicycle in front of the drive way, just passing through. Warily but quickly, she walked to the front door, the umbrella she found in the back seat now in her right hand, ready to stab whoever it was that was gonna grab her as soon as she opened the door— only there was no one. All she saw was the house with everything in the exact position it was left.

I should call 911

She quickly searched for any cabinets until she found one filled with documents, proving ownership of the house, so she’d have an address and hopefully a name to provide whoever would assist her on the other line. Only for her heart to stop after reading the name of the homeowner: Kaileia Mahelona

Brows furrowed and eyes wide, she read the name over and over again, searching for any documents to prove otherwise but— nothing. Did this house belong to her? She stood frozen in that spot, no reaction, no other thoughts, just her trying to grasp onto the concept that this is either all some sick joke, a dream, or she is actually in another reality. Maybe I was reincarnated early?

Kaileia stalked across the kitchen and grabbed the remote, turning on the TV. None of the news was out of the ordinary— well at least for someone who didn’t pay too much attention to the news regularly. Immigration protests, some world cup final, tainted spinach and the shocking news on the Crocodile Hunter’s death. Surely they meant his death anniversary.

No. It was his actual death. With a photo of him and the words underneath reading “Steve Irwin, 1962-2006”

Two-thousand what now?

“This ain’t it, sis” she whispered, hands of stress running through her hair. She shook her head in disbelief.

Definitely not real. Wake up Kai, come on wake up. If it’s 2006, you’re literally six years old right now.

Her peripherals caught a computer she hadn’t seen there before. From there, she discovered that she was actually in Forks, Washington, it was definitely 2006, and that the Marvel universe exists here. So talking about Spiderman wouldn’t make her look like a mad man. Which is great, because she loves Spiderman. Also Deadpool. Okay that’s besides the point.

“What am I to do? I don’t think I have a job and I’m definitely not in school,” she thought to herself. Without a second thought, she left the house yet again and drove.

“Another hiker presumed dead, searches still going on for the killer animal—” a voice on the radio spoke. Killer animals? What the hell is going on, Forks? Distracted by her thoughts while driving along the never ending path along the mountain, a wolf suddenly ran across about 50 feet from her, still close enough for her to register that this was in fact NOT a normal sized wolf. It was about five times the size of what she’d expected.

She rounded a corner and caught sight of a party. “Forks High School Prom” a giant banner read across the entrance of the venue. She decided to park here, the lights were a pretty sight as she tried to pay no mind the awkward couple dancing in the middle of the lawn. The girl wore a purple dress with a boot and the boy with a suit on, skin paler than the Korean pop stars her friend Miko was obsessed with. It looked like that scene from Twilight. She was unknowingly staring— he dipped her low and placed a soft kiss on her neck. Another action that reminded her of the twilight movie. Kaileia hadn’t seen it since Elementary school.

The couple were about to exit the canopy when Kai thought, “careful girl, he’s probably a vampire”. It was only a joke, alluding to the Twilight movie that happened in Forks with this exact ending scene when the boy froze. He turned in the direction of Kaileia’s car and— ah shit.

“Can he hear me? How did he know to look exactly where I’m at?” She panicked

There’s no way this is happening. Hurriedly, she started the car and drove off.

Was that Edward Cullen? Was that really them? It has to be a real coincidence. Twilight is fiction. It’s literally cringe culture. But it could also explain that big ass wolf that jumped out of nowhere. It would explain why that girl looked so much like Bella.

Kai decided she couldn’t say or think anything about what she knows anymore. Edward can definitely hear her thoughts.

I can’t change the storyline. Everyone made it out alive at the end of Breaking Dawn. Don’t change that. I could die here. But if I died here would I go back to my old life? Possibly. It happened to that girl in Scarlet Heart: Ryeo.

Kai, that was a kdrama.

Twilight was a movie series!

Touché.

All I have to do is survive. Don’t change the story lines. Try not to get involved.

She parked the car in the driveway this time instead of across the street, rounding the corner to the door but froze as she saw the same boy who was just dancing at the prom.

“Can I help you, sir?” She asked him, trying her best to project her voice and mask her timidness

He turned, his eyes going first then the rest of his body behind him, “Hi, I’m Edward Cullen”

She nodded, “Hi. What are you doing here?” She asked, wanting to get straight to the point

He paused, realizing he didn’t prepare a lie to tell her and having no real justification besides “I heard your thoughts. How do you know what I am?” Of course, he didn’t say this out loud, he can’t jump to conclusions and expose his kind. Instead, he excused, “I must have gotten the wrong house.”

Kai nodded, keeping her thoughts silent and slipping past him, rushing to get inside and lock the door. She let out an exhale of relief after being inside.

He’s onto me.

Tags: @sunflowerspectre

Thank you for reading!

[ltjlily17]

Oh, can we call it a night?

What’s the most played song on your iPod? I don’t iPod anymore these days, but theres a site that will aggregate your Spotify listening, and the song I’ve listened to the most all time on Spotify is In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer. What is one quality you admire most in others? People who know what they want to do with themselves. What would you do with a million dollars? Invest it, maybe? Buy a new car. Start a non-profit that will save the world. Or just a small part of it. What’s your favorite song to dance to? All of them. What would your ideal birthday party be like?

No idea.This year I went to my favorite pizza place with a couple of friends, my mom and husband. Was pretty good.

If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I’m not sure I believe in any of that. What talent would you like to have? I wish I was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC at something. I’m good at most things, and can get by, but I’m not outstanding at any singular thing.  Are you ticklish? Nah. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 3 days or so. I basically had the flu and felt like I was dying. Not like the real flu either, theres this illness you get when your body hasn’t slept in too long. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? None. What are three songs that mean the most to you? Mayonaise by the Smashing Pumpkins, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and Bornand Raised by John Mayer. Someone else used these italics and I’m just running with it.

Who is the one person you miss the most? No one? What do you think of your parents? They are flawed people. I make the best out of my relationship with my mom, but I’m just not sure I want to bother with my dad. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? Instill a sense of community. People would be so much better off if we all gave a shit about the other people we are on this planet with. What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Hot, cheesy, some kind of sauce. Other than that, I’m flexible. If you had a puppy, what would you name it? I got a puppy 2 years ago and his name is Finn. We wanted a Star Wars name and Supreme Leader was the runner up name. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? I can’t think of anything I’d wanna see. What people do behind closed doors is their business lol. How much cash do you have on you right now? None. I’m in pjs, but beyond that, I rarely use cash. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? Humor or personality? Would more money make you happier? I don’t know. We have a comfortable amount now, minus paying for healthcare. Steve may have a job offer that would cover the healthcare, but would I be happy not working? Would I just turn into a loser slug? What is one of your favorite memories as a child? I really don’t know. My parents pretty much screamed and threw things all the time until my dad moved out. Then they played horrible games with me in the middle. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even remember about being a child. I’d say the good stuff started happening when I was a teen and could seek refuge in my friends and their stable houses. I had one friend in particular, Andrew, whose mom and dad were super nice and he had a fun little sister- every time I was over there, which was VERY often, it was like a slice of the good life. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? This was on another survey and I didn’t know how to answer it. I think once it’s done I just move on, I’m really a dweller. How do you measure intelligence? Unsure. I guess you just get a feeling for someones intelligence as you’re interacting with them.

What cartoons do you watch? None at the moment. I did just get Disney+, so that may change, but there aren’t really any cartoons I’m planning on watching. Have you ever used drugs? Nope. If you were a Skittle, what flavor would it be? The purple one. Sleeper hit. How would you describe your style? Hmmm. Casual indie bohemian with a side of lazy fat person. If you had to spend $1,000 in one hour, how would you spend it? The internet. Generally, my money goes to clothes or Halloween decorations. I really wanna buy some regular decor for the house though, so maybe that. What’s your favorite smell and why? I don’t have one. Something not flowery or overbearing. Something fresh and natural. Where do you buy your clothes? Anthropologie, ModCloth, Target, Gap, Old Navy, Loft. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Birthday cake? Funfetti? Does intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe? I have absolutely no idea. I used to think that it was just statistically impossible that there wasn’t, but fuck I don’t even know how any of this got here, so I no longer have an opinion. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? MilkBar birthday cake. Are you into tattoos? I guess so? I like the art of them, I follow a lot of tattoo people on instagram and keep up with their work. I just got my first tattoo a week ago and I’m 35, so it’s not like something I do a lot, ha ha. Do you like photography? I do. I have illusions that I’m a photographer sometimes. I should be currently editing a wedding right now, but here I am. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be the kind of photographer I’d like to be, so I don’t know what I wanna do with it going forward. If you were a holiday, which one would you be? Halloween 100% Do you have any siblings? Nope. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I just got one. It’s a bat pusheen. I really wanted a bat of some sort and pusheen is my favorite so I just went for it. I always thought my bat tattoo would be a little more dark, but it is what it is lol. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? I hid behind a dumpster when I was like 14 and 3 of the Backstreet Noys walked right by me, ha ha. I have some photos with me and the guys from Good Charlotte from when I was a wee teenybopper. How many pushups can you do? Absolutely zero. What person in history do you admire most? None? I don’t think I admire anyone. These surveys are quickly informing me that I don’t believe in anything or look up to anyone. Am I inert? Who is your favorite actor? I don’t have one. Ha ha, see above. I like most of the stuff Chris Pratt is in. Robery Downey Jr as Iron Man is iconic, but I’ve never seen any of his other movies. I like Adam Driver in Girls and Star Wars. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? Spoke. Have you ever lied about your age? I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to. Have you ever cried while watching a movie? If so, what movie? For sure. Everything makes me tear up in my old age. Last movie was probably Endgame, though. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Not like huge, life changing fears, but I’m always afraid a bug will get caught in my hair and I can’t touch drains because they freak me out. Where do you see yourself five years from now? I’ve never been one to make plans. Hopefully happy with more direction. What is your favorite candy? Fun Dip, Nerds, Starburst. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Not someone suer close, but there are lots of auxillary people I know that have and do. Who do you look up to for your style? No one in particular. I see things on the internet I like and try to incorporate that, but its always varied sources. Who is your favorite sports team? I don’t follow sports. How often do you drink alcohol? Once every two weeks? Even then, its usually just one drink with dinner. I don’t much care about drinking. It seems like a lot of work to fill myself up with something I don’t really like the taste of just so I can potentially feel bad later.  What is your life in three words? Evolving yet bland. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be? I knew that, I’d be working towards it. Would you have a pet dragon? If so what color would it be? Sure. Whatever color dragon is fine with me. What’s your favorite sport? The only one I even kind of pretend to care about is baseball. Do you believe that homeless people are dangerous? No.  If you could be skinny and miserable or fat and happy, which would you be? I’d always pick happy. If your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would have done? Hmmm, I don’t know. I don’t have like any huge regret at the moment so probably just wish I’d have enjoyed myself more. If you were to invent something, what would it be? Hopefully something that makes the world better. Some kind of climate change related thing?  Who would you like to get to know better? This wholesaler real estate guy that has been selling us properties. Maybe if we knew him better, he would give us better deals, lol. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Near drowning when I was seven. Do you fear death? Yep.  What is the strangest food you ever ate? Hmmm. I like food with interesting combinations. Like smelly cheese or beet pesto or something, but I’m not on board with weird meat and I don’t eat seafood. Do you think you’re cool? Nah. What reality show would you like to be on? None. I don’t watch any of them. The only show like that I ever watched was the Osbournes, ah aha. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Whatever is gluten free. Ususally no choices for me at most chinese places. PF Changs has pad thai and general tsos I can have and another place nearby has general tsos too, but thats about it.

I loved lo mein and crab rangoon in my former life, though. Are you happy with your life? For the most part. If you could name your own planet, what would you call it? I’d need some plantary details before coming up with a name. If you could live another 200 years. What would you hope to see? People learning that we need to work together. Would you rather be hot or cold? Well, I’m cold like 90% of the time and that sucks, but at least you can do something about it and layer up and get blankets and such- if you’re hot, you’re just stuck. How would you rate yourself? What am I rating here? I’m like a 0 at makeup skills, but like an 11 if you need someone to pick you up in an emergency. 10 at playlist making. 1 at doing the dishes. Would you ever move to a different country in an attempt to start over? Maybe not to “start over”, but I would definitely consider a dream job in another country if all the details worked out. If you could be a character from any book, who would you be? No idea. I read a lot of Stephen King and none of those characters are alright.  Do you prefer taking baths or showers? I’d love to take a bath, but I’m a little big for the tub. Do you still collect toys from Happy Meals? Nope. I never ate happy meals even as a kid, so I never did. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? I drove two states over for a sandwich once. It was like a 15 hour round trip. In your opinion what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? People being willing to fuck over every one else if they think it will benefit them in any tiny, miniscule way. You are destroying everything by being an asshole and letting the people that really have all the money get away with it. Do you like dogs or cats better? I was 100% cat until I got a dog 2 years ago. I’m mostly dog at this point. Don’t tell my cat. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Hmm, I don’t know. I’m a lot better off than my parents were. I just kind of thought the constant worrying about the car breaking down or the bills being paid was grown up life, so its nice to get here and know that I worked hard to not have those problems. If an ex texted you out of the blue, how would you respond? I don’t think I would. I’ve been with Steven for a decade, so theres def nothing that needs to be said to anyone that far back. Do you have a favorite poet? I don’t. I really like some poems I’ve read randomly in my internet travels, but I’ve never really been able to sit down and read a book of poetry. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Eating too much food? Would you rather go on a shopping spree with $200 or put it in the bank? I’d rather go shopping. I might save it, though. What was the last rumor that you heard? No idea. I don’t really have rumors around me at this point in my life. My friends aren’t like that and I’m not working anywhere at the moment. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I don’t really know who any of them are. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. One of them happened when I was like 15 and it pinched a nerve in my neck and half of my left hand went numb. My mom didn’t believe me for a really long time that there was something wrong until she watched me try to pick up a glass of milk with my left hand and it just fell to the floor. Are you an organ donor? Yes! What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Unsure. I’m fairly adventurous, but I don’t do super dangerous things. I guess just trespassing in old abandoned buildings when I was younger could have been dangerous. What is the meaning of life? Moments of joy. For you and others. What word do you like the sound of? Nothing in particular jumps out to me. Isn’t Cellar Door supposed to be lovely? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Hmmm. I don’t know. Its more about the brand I think. I usually get Jeni’s or the other fancy ice cream brand when I get the chance. 

I always get the cake flavored froyo, though.  Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. Are you an athlete? Ha ha, no. What did the last text message on your phone say? From my brother in law. He’s doing the work on the house we just bought, getting it ready for a renter. He wants more money, lol. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? Man, I don’t know. I think maybe Grandma’s Boy was the funniest I had seen at the time. I usually don’t even like movies like that. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? I had this dream when I was a kid that I left the scissors out and they flew up and cut my moms fingers off and the whole dream was dark and black and white because it was night, but at the end, she picked up the phone (landline, because cell phones weren’t a thing then) and the only color was the green light coming from the phone that illuminated the numbers and she was trying to dial 911 with her fingers that weren’t there. 

I probably had that dream close to 30 years ago now and it’s still clear in my mind. 

What do you know how to cook? Lots of things. I’m especially good at carbonara or alfredo. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had, and what was it from? I fell down the stairs and broke several bones, severely sprained both ankles and ended up getting surgery to fix the cartilage in one ankle. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Any that my fat ass can fit on. What do you wish you were doing right now? Well i’m doing this instead of things I should be doing. Who are your musical influences? I don’t play music, so I’m not really influenced? What was your favorite band or musician when you were 12? The Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and the Back Street Boys, ha ha. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don’t think anyone has ever given me one. How many drinks can you handle? I don’t really know at this point. Getting older changes things. I know that if I have one drink and then stop, I get a headache, lol. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Hours and hours. Like 7 or 8 probably? Back in my day you could only talk to boys on the phone because we didn’t have cell phones or text messaging and you only had dial up internet. What’s your favorite candle scent? I got one from Anthropologie called Riviera that was my favorite candle scent ever. I bought two, but they are sold out now and I am very sad.

[hcrris]

can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡

( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.

repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.

                      🇧​🇦​🇨​🇰​🇬​🇷​🇴​🇺​🇳​🇩​​

TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on

her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times

when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what. 

but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california. 

things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.

janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.  

the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line

jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father 

growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked. 

through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning

after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3

she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up 

if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof 

           🇨​🇭​🇦​🇷​🇦​🇨​🇹​🇪​🇷​  🇹​🇷​🇦​🇮​🇹​🇸​

if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!

 she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day 

likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head. 

and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone. 

will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3

she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......  

got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it) 

really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon. 

she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad. 

claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ

*draws curtains* anybody else tired? 

[falconsandfishes]

platonic relationship

i have a bone to pick with plato. see the socratic method is basically the scene in montynpython in which a woman is weighed against a peice of wood to determine if she is a witch. and this is pretty much also the measurement system women use for me judge a cardio junkie by his ability to withstand smoke fumes. ive been up all night listening to eminem because i wish that i had the mysogny that he had because logically i should be mad at these females who lie to me but apparently developmentally theyre limited. 

so pretty much i just want my neck not to hurt and my side and platonic love isn really the kind which could support my lumbar spine but if you think im angry you are right and maybe if i rhyme my brain will work this time and ill finally be able to explain was never targeted at my objects of affections at all i like to walk around the mall see a cutie with a skirt on and she sees me looking at her tells her grandmother to leave her there because this place looks fun as she smiles at me there comes abu my friend who judges me and judges you and as i stare at her i can tell she wants me too probably more emotionally mature than my mom and a virgin with her skirt on and its workun but i have the confidence of a plastic bag floating in the wind shes cheesing while i hide behind her even though shes 4 11 and im 6 4 and because he was there i didnt pass because i dont cross paths but even thinking about having a girlfriend makes him mad. if shes too young for me i would have figured that out but it doesnt help that no matter how young or how old even the weather lady im told shes not right for me so will you make up your mind please can someone define maturity because apparently there is a reverse correlation between it and age and socrates was no sage im not really impressed that he drank poison similarly i smoke weed which takes me back to age three and birthday parties then i think about how much my life failed but only because everyone always stood in front of me. so snitch on me when i talk to you when youre in front of me at your desk and say your story about butterflies is the best begging middle and end. meawhile i havent even gotten to the first page of my legend of the sword it had a much more compliated plot which was cut off. then tell me i didnt count to tenthousand while you were listening to the teacher say the is spelled t h e and put me in a remedial reading class with a bunch of girls and address us as the girls so we can read books about a mouse who lives with his family in a house but if girls and boys are the same how can you explain i was the only one in that group to be bumped up to the advanced on by 2nd grade. i guess reading the encylopedia of animals wasnt a wase memorized their latin names bufo sativa phylobates. so by third grade i was getting so good at math that they took me out of class and had me testing material meant for 5th graders and it was really lame how can i explain all the flaws in the system to all the other people who were also ruined by it.

finally one girl who was definitely old enough for me waved at me when i looked at her and i got a boner and walked over to the ladies at the tea shop who looked at me with a disgusted look on their faces then some gangster looking dude older than i am replaces me with his hand on her shoulder.

before i was 18 i could beat up my dad and ever since then i knew not many people in my generation had much of a chance against me but i looked so thin they were not understanding. high iq causing depression have anothe smoke session even though you have athsma everyone remember to complain that i prefer to get high off one big hit i stayed in high school till i graduated but i left.

unfortunately with brain damage i could still make straight as which made me think i was ok gpa jumping above 3.68 when i only show up an agerage of 3 days.

practice your sky hook do your pushups get embaressed when an asian princess sees you do them 20 hanlaps perfect form and im not even a jock wow id better stop. next thing the girl i like is sitting on my lap in class telling me she likes me back shes sitting on my desk shes rubbing my face my life isnt gay justnsaynsomehing and youll get laid.

nah ill let some kid with adhd steal her seat and ill help him with math instead because i didnt tell her this but im alread braindead. my soul probably died with my pet lizard or my kitten perhaps it was internet addiction. 

what makes you think youll be make it as a porn star? you know im hot. well maybe i just didnt want you to act like a slut. i still remember the blonde who waves at me and smiled my freshman year it was clear that the world was my oyster the only problem was i couldn make my own choices.

i wanted to be an actor but i was so good at acting nobody got it. was so good at debating everyone liked to argue. was so succinct couldnt get the last word. so fast nobody would pass me the ball so dominant in wrestling i had to pretend i couldnt win just to have a friend.

pretty much i feel like the last cro magonon stuck on an island without charlotte saisselin bounce baby bounce three story house you look so cute in a blouse. hey look theres charlottes stalker i think il wave my arms around.

bounce baby is a reference to eigth grade i was watching a 100 meter race and then some black guy said that she never raced again. weed turned her from a goth into a wigger and after that i figured id become one too but it wasnt till 2009 i started to dress like you. what happened was i got some clothes from olympia sports to wear as warmups on the basketball court and to work as a salesman i shaved my head smiled knowing i was dead but still i couldnt even say i wanted to kiss  girl without that not being cool enough for my nephew and her bowl broke too

it fell from her car on the pavement and she said that he didnt even get to hit it.

so now im living in my dads room on the floor and finally my back isnt sore i have a well paying job im away from mom i have iron lungs and dad still doesnt approve because now i play too much basketball.

hi im interested in going to california. i meant connecticut but califonia will do since its warm there. sure steve come on out west but read the fine print your 20s are dead.

prove you wrong shame on me. dont prove you wrong brag proudly. stay out west and let your dad die. watch him act like an asshole at home back east one more time. your reward for having surived on the street for years as a middle clas kid

your friend says he thought you were dead. by the way he has this girlfriend in connectiut. oh you were the one who set him up with her? theres a whole website or three centered around her? 

better get you to spend your money on heroin and make you seem like a jerk in front of my dad. my excuse is im skitzophrenic.

all because my dad shamed me for growing up even crazier than him. thats why i called up my friend and asked him to date my girlfriend. 

there must have been something in those amphetamines which made me keep stopping at her house. i found them up on the shelf years after i tried to spill them out.

it was the first time an adult had ever called me immature. he also said my handwriting was bad and i needed a cure. talking to him i began to get red where even to begin? i have a lot of prblems at home and this isnt fair. see my dad camps in the yard and gets drunk watches us through windows andmy sister punches me in the head. mom pretty much works till shes in bed.

every day she watches the same soap opera and oprah which i record for her on tape. my sisters friends call me gay so i go over and play with the kids from the other neighorhood all day. 

one of them listens to a lot of eminem. his favorite song is if you dont like it you can suck my dick. hes in reform school and proud to be off his meds. when i talk about biking down a steep hill and blending into traffic he thinks i meannliterall blend in.

two gay twin brothers end of the road honor roll kids. play baseball and have alcoholic parents. hey ill tell the girl steve likes he likes her then she will never talk to him again. accept his chalenge to a fight and he will bang my head into a tree which is the same thing i did to another kid who tried to jump me but got sperated from his friends. 

refuse to dance with the only girl in middle school who has hips. make fun of the girls intelligence who sits next to you in math and has giant tits. refuse to eat candy off the first girls tounge then your science teacher who pushed pills on you flips on the tv its 911

stare at a girl all day and say you dont like her. girls think youre gay if you have a boner. telll me a calculator doesnt mattrer for a test but i do worse without one. make a flag pencil it isnt cool enough for the other kids.

sit with the retarded kids timmy and jimmy. watch nick all night fresh prince and bill cosby.

your sister wont stop torturing you so hold her at knife point. buy knives at school try to resell them and for the first time ever the kids you sold them to ge caught witth knives.

stay in the program with three teachers who gave up on you. one leaves to become a dean suddenly your grades go up. kids are jealous because you dont do homework. girls smile at you knowing that your test scores are high despite that.

throw shotput as far as a high school kid without any exercise or practice. run around the track dozens of times in pants you still arent good enough yet.

go to an alternative program reluctantly in high school its sort of like jail. everyone smells like cigarettes the air is stale. this isnt good for you but we will make you think if you leave you will fail.

[iluvu3k]

D.Y.W.M.T.L.A.S.I.L.Y? PART 2

Do you want me to lie and say I love you? Part 2

A/N: Yall asked for it so here it is im sorry

warning:swearing, smut, tom is a fucking asshole and i hate myself for writing him like this but you guys love it, wtf is reader doing, GUYS THERES SMUT SO DONT READ IT AND GET MAD AT ME IM ALMOST 21 I CAN DO WHAT I WANT

words: 2.6k (its so long im sorry)

You had found a flight home that night and made it to Kingston by sundown the next day. It was weird being home after traveling around the globe with Tom and Harrison for so long but it was nice to be where Tom had no control over you.

You had shut off your phone after the incident not wanting to be bothered by anyone but upon turning it back on you were bombarded with messages from Harrison, all worrying about you. After a long shower and a quick meal you decided to give him a call.

“(Y/N)!” He yelled into the phone, you could hear the relief in this voice, it almost made you feel better.

“Harrison!” You mock yelled back, trying to keep the mood light.

“Why haven’t you answered me? Tom said you left and I had to almost kill him to explain to me why, then I actually killed him afterwards. I was so worried, (y/n). I’m sorry.” You both talked for about an hour after that, mostly about how you missed him already, trying to avoid the topic of Tom. He promised to visit you soon but to try to facetime you at least once a day.

When you hung up you missed that familiar kiss on your temple that you had always exchanged before you parted. And it was all Tom’s fault. He took this all from you. You hated him.

 You found a job at a studio in London, Harrison forced Tom to put in a good word for you. It kept you busy during the days and during the nights you waited for a call from Harrison that would last for hours. You would curl up on your bed, secretly missing the excitement of a new hotel bed almost every night, and laugh with Harrison until he forced himself to hang up. It warmed your heart to have a friend at night since everything felt so wrong during the day. You had grown so accustom to new sights, new foods, and new faces. Everything now was so mundane. The only thing you looked forward to anymore was Harrison’s stories, but there was always that small part of you that you hid deep inside that hated his face because all you could see was Tom, and all you remembered were those last words he said to you.

“So, I’ll be home in a few days, are you going to show me around your new studio?” Harrison smiled on the other end, your heart skipping a beat.

“You’re coming home? Is Tom coming?” Harrison tried his best not to let that comment hurt him, but his face told the whole story. “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, Harrison. I am happy you’re coming home, I miss you so much, I just want to try to avoid Tom, you know?” You bit your lip.

“I understand. He’ll be home too. We have a three week break from filming for the Holidays.” His attitude had completely changed and you regretted even asking about Tom.

“Well, at least I’ll have my favorite man to spend Christmas with.” You tried to cheer him up.

“Yeah, well, listen, I have to go. I’ll see you soon, love you.” He hung up without even letting you respond and you dropped your phone on your bed next to you, sighing in frustration.

You knew you couldn’t avoid Tom forever but you assumed you had more time.

  “This is a bad idea.” You whispered to yourself, brushing a few strands of hair that fell in your face as you forced yourself out of your car. You were dressed to the nines, you had woken up three hours early to do your hair and makeup. Tom and Harrison were coming home today and you were meeting them at the airport as a surprise. No, you were meeting Harrison at the airport, Tom could keep walking, you were here for your friend.

You waited patiently, watching over the heads of family members who greeted their loved ones. People were filing out in pairs slowly, filling the room quickly. You were almost worried they had walked right past you when you spotted a familiar head of brown curls followed by a blonde. You dropped from your tippy toes and squeezed your way through the crowed mumbling small apologies.

“Harrison!” You yelled, throwing yourself into his unsuspecting arms. He let out a laugh, wrapping his strong arms around you and lifting you into the air.

“Hey!” He set you down, kissing your temple, a gesture you had missed dearly. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I thought I’d surprise my favorite man, after all, you’ve done so much for me the last month, you deserve to be treated right.” You held his hands, watching him smile from ear to ear. Every part of you wanted to be one hundred percent focused on him but you could see Tom in the corner of your eye, waiting for his best friend so they could retrieve their bags, annoyed as ever. His hat helped hide his face but he would have to fish his sun glasses out of his carry on to be able to hide the glare that he was currently sporting.

He cleared his throat, grabbing both of your attention. You were thankful you were given a chance to stare at him without looking desperate. He looked tired, a few loose curls falling in front of his sunken eyes.

“Tom.” You nodded, taking a deep breath to keep your composure.

“(Y/N). Harrison, can we fetch our bags, I really want to go home and sleep for the next three weeks.” You could hear him try to hold back his annoyance of watching you all over his best friend, but Harrison just smiled and apologized, picking his carry on off the ground and leading you both to the exit.

Harrison tried his best to politely keep you from jumping all over him in front of Tom but you were so excited to have him back, you couldn’t keep your hands off of him. You didn’t care about what Tom thought about it, or maybe you did, but you wouldn’t admit that. You wouldn’t admit that you spent hours trying to match the perfect tight shirt to your leggings, making sure every curve showed in just the right way or how you tied your hair up just enough to show off that little bit of neck you knew Tom loved to kiss. This was all for Harrison, completely platonic of course.

You drove Harrison home letting Tom catch a cab back. His hand rested on your thigh as you talked about all the little details he missed throughout the month of facetiming. You missed the joy in his voice that technology could never truly register. He always could lighten up any conversation with it.

You couldn’t help but feel sad at you pulled up to his house, dreading being alone again, but he needed family time and he hadn’t slept in his own bed in who knows how long.

“I’m going to miss you.” You pouted.

“I’m like, a mile away from you.” He laughed, holding your hand.

“I know. I just can’t wait to see you again. You said Tuesday you want to see my studio?”

“Yeah, just a few days. I’ll facetime you if that makes you feel better.” He kissed your hand before letting it go, gathering up his carry on off of the floor of your car.

“I mean you could always just walk over but facetime is fine too.” You smiled.

“We’ll see, love you.” He kissed your temple, you instinctively shut your eyes at the comforting gesture.

  The next week and a half was bliss. Harrison stopped by after dinner almost every night if he could. Even if it was only for a little while, it still made all the difference in the world being curled up on the couch with your best friend instead of sitting in your empty apartment dreading the silence.

You had showed him your new job, it was a very small set and it wasn’t very exciting but Harrison made you feel like a million bucks for working there. Acting surprised at every little thing.

On his free days you were lazy in bed, watching dumb movies, cough cough batman, and eating junk food that you would regret after he left again.

And as promised you had spent Christmas together, you went to his parents’ house, ate dinner, exchanged gifts. He had gotten you a necklace with a small origami dog charm on it. You had seen it in a small knickknack shop that you had walked past with Harrison a few days before. You had made him a flash drive with pictures and videos from when you were children growing up together and all your adventures with him on the road. Of course it pained you to see the memories with Tom but you knew you had to share your best friend, even if you hated it, hated him.

He dropped you off around ten before he went back to his own flat. A kiss on the temple and he was gone, leaving you alone in your small apartment.

  You were almost asleep when you heard a knock on your door. You thought you were dreaming but another knock echoed through your hall so you stumbled out of your bed and to the door.

The last person you were expecting was Tom, but here he was, leaned against your door frame, the smell of alcohol radiating off of him.

“Tom? What the fuck? It’s midnight.” You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, hoping that maybe you were actually dreaming, unfortunately you weren’t. He pushed his way in to your apartment, shaving you aside as you tried to stop him.

“So, is this your sick way of getting back at me?” He asked, keeping himself steady against your wall. You looked at him confused which just made him angrier. “Don’t fucking act stupid, (Y/N). You’re fucking my best friend to get back at me. All because I told you what no one else had the guts to say. You’re a slut. A stupid fucking slut that can’t handle the fact that I’m not in love with you.”

“Tom you’re drunk.” You bit your tongue from saying anything more.

“Just admit you’re fucking Harrison.” You waved his arms, almost knocking into the picture frames you had on the wall.

“I’m not. We’re just friends.” You crossed your arms, watching him make a fool of himself.

“Liar. He told me how he felt about you, but he didn’t want to make things weird so he wasn’t going to do anything about it, but you’ve been all over him since we got back. Don’t act like you dressed up for him at the airport, that was all for me.” He was inching closer to you slowly but you tried your best to keep your distance.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Holland.”

“Just admit it, (Y/N).” You were backed up against your wall now, your heart rate picking up. You had known Tom for years, before he got famous, he would never lay a hand on a woman but he was drunker than you had ever seen him before.

“We’re just friends.” You said again, causing him to sigh loudly.

“Then what the fuck is this, huh?” He grabbed at your necklace, making you flinch. With a small tug the chain broke and he threw your charm across the room.

“Tom!” You screamed, tears filling your eyes.

“That’s what I fucking thought. You stay the fuck away from my best friend, you skank.” With a few proud strides he was out your door, closing it with a loud slam, leaving you speechless and a wreck. Tears were streaming down your face and your whole body was shaking. You searched the room for the small charm, sobbing loudly, finally able to take in a whole breath when you found it.

You held it tightly as you slid down your wall, hugging your knees when you hit the floor. You didn’t know how long you cried for but you were absolutely exhausted by the time you lifted your head out of your arms.

You walked to the bathroom, cleaning yourself up, hating the way you let a boy do this to you. You hated Tom Holland.

  You weren’t sure he would answer when you knocked on his door at two AM but when Harrison opened his flat door there was a fire burning inside of you, one that only he could control.

“(Y/N)?” His voice was low, you had obviously woken him, but you didn’t care. You walked forward, standing on your toes you slammed your lips against his, your hand on his neck pulling him in closely. At first he didn’t respond, making you second guess everything you had come here to do, but when his hands ran across the small of your back you knew that this was right.

You followed him in, never breaking contact with him. Your feet clumsily intertwining, making everything more difficult that it had to be, but his hands followed the walls, leading you both into his small bedroom.

You shoved him onto his king bed, finally breaking contact just long enough to pull off his shirt. You straddled his lap, pushing him down, biting at his neck leaving small dark marks along it. With every tug of skin he let out soft moans fueling the fire even more. His hands slid up your shirt, desperate to loose the unneeded fabric. You let him remove it while you worked at your bra. You could feel him grow harder under you as he admired your body silently.

“Fuck me, Harrison.” You whispered, looking down at his toned body needing it more than you needed to breathe.

He flipped you over, tearing your pants off, kissing down your chest, making sure to give extra attention to your sensitive breasts. His fingers rubbing carefully between your lips while you moaned, grabbing at his sheets. You heard him slip out of his sweats, the fire inside of you burning hotter making you wetter.

His lips crashed against yours as he lined up with your opening, your nails sunk into his back as he sunk into you earning moans from both of you. He started slow, tantalizingly slow, making you squirm under him. He smiled at your inpatients, leaning his forehead against yours. He picked up the speed, causing you to tighten around him. Small profanities fell from his mouth, his hot breath meeting your neck.

Your stomach was in knots, all of your senses were turned up to eleven, you were close, so close. You grabbed on to him, then his sheets, anything that would keep you grounded.

“Harrison.” You cried as you hit your climax causing him to release inside you pure ecstasy running through you both.

He rolled off you, his chest rising and falling quickly. You tried to cam your own breathing, staring at the ceiling, the fire that had once burning inside you so fiercely now completely extinguished.

You both were silent for the longest time, not knowing what to say. No less than six hours ago you were just friends, but you had a history of this, you always grew too attached.

“I have to go.” You whispered, sitting up and looking around the room for your clothes.

“Wait, what?” Harrison watched you, confused. “Why?”

“I’m sorry.” You slipped on your shirt and pants, unable to make eye contact, not bothering to slip on anything else before rushing into his living room and towards his door.

“Wait, (Y/N).” He grabbed your wrist before you were able to reach the knob, you were holding back tears now. “Don’t. I’m not like him, this wasn’t a one time thing for me. I love you.” You looked up at him with glossy eyes, not knowing how to respond.

“I’m sorry.” You forced out before leaving.

Why was your mind still racing to Tom?

Shout out to @holllandtrash for helping me work together what i would do for a part 2. and thank you @osnapitsabbie , @deangirlbutsamcurious2 , @aussiebeachbabes , @thomas-spiderling-spacegays , @amidblogger , @ minhoisafish , @maliasheda , @spideyroo , @once-upon-a-walking-wolf-demigod ,  shawnbrev ,  ticklemyhemmings , thecreativeangel and  pammy17 for the suggestions and amazing comments on part 1.

[kinjaru]

1-100 do it

:^)

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?SoundCloud

2. is your room messy or clean?its messy as shit

3. what color are your eyes?dark blue

4. do you like your name? why?yes and no. Sometimes people mistake my name adding one more ‘’i’’ in my name but idk why i hate it. but atleast its short

5. what is your relationship status? single eeey (;_;)

6. describe your personality in 3 words or lesskind, quiet and lazy

7. what color hair do you have?natural blonde i am

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?Don’t have car but it would be nice own one

9. where do you shop?idk

10. how would you describe your style?

um… hipster? person who likes old stuff??

11. favorite social media accountithink its youtube since i use it daily mostly

12. what size bed do you have?i really dont know but its big enough

13. any siblings?big brother an big sister (im the youngest one yay)

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Somewhere were i can be in peace

15. favorite snapchat filter?don’t have one

16. favorite makeup brand(s)don’t have that either

17. how many times a week do you shower?2-3 times

18. favorite tv show?theres one but can’t remember it :’D

19. shoe size?38 or 39

20. how tall are you?165cm (finally i know it)

21. sandals or sneakers?sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?yeh but not anymore, last time was last spring :’)

23. describe your dream dateidk i havent think about it at all

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?75 cents

25. what color socks are you wearing?dark red socks rn

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?2 or 3

27. do you have a job? what do you do?nope :’) still in school but i have profession as artisan but am again in school because its dead

28. how many friends do you have?3-4 (i think..? ;-;)

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?I have lied many times, eated others food and stealed candybut mayde its that I have acidentally said something rude/wrong thing to other person and then it haunts methere is other things too but cannot remember rn

30. whats your favorite candle scent?Vanilla and cinnamon

31. 3 favorite boy namesPekka, Kalle and Jukka (all them are finnish names and only names i have used when creating random named boy)

32. 3 favorite girl namesI… havent think about it but theres some but can’t remember

33. favorite actor?don’t have one

34. favorite actress?don’t have that either

35. who is your celebrity crush?i don’t even know do I have one rn or ever

36. favorite movie?theres way too many and most are animated movies

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Sometimes some fantasy books and fairy talesdon’t have one favorite

38. money or brains?brains

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?Kin/Kinjaru/Kinkku

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?2 times

41. top 10 favorite songsooh boy here it comess

list because im lazy link everything and most of them are old

42. do you take any medications daily?yep

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)normal

44. what is your biggest fear?being forgotten

45. how many kids do you want?Haven’t think about it but none

46. whats your go to hair style?ponytail

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)big but not too big

48. who is your role model?

dont have one

49. what was the last compliment you received?“its really good thing you paint these windows”

50. what was the last text you sent?*hotdog.gif* or “too gay for this shit”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?about 10 or 11

52. what is your dream car?don’t have one

53. opinion on smoking?not get any enjoyment and is a waste of money

54. do you go to college?ithink?

55. what is your dream job?it was becoming a veterinarian or animator but not anymore

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?both is good and i can’t choose

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?yes :’D if theres ones

58. do you have freckles?nope

59. do you smile for pictures?mostly no but i try to

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?5 305 and most of them are reaction images

61. have you ever peed in the woods?ye

62. do you still watch cartoons?yes.

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?McDonalds

64. Favorite dipping sauce?sweet & sour

65. what do you wear to bed?underwear

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?nope

67. what are your hobbies?its been mostly drawing but nowadays sleeping and playing games

68. can you draw? yes but mostly animals

69. do you play an instrument?nope.

70. what was the last concert you saw?ithink it was kube when i was half drunk or jenni vartiainen

71. tea or coffee?coffee but both is good

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?neither since we don’t have those in here

73. do you want to get married?idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?I… i dont know.. dont now the real name and i had too many crushes in past sdfghjklöäjghklfjgkd

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?nope

76. what color looks best on you?mostly dark colors

77. do you miss anyone right now?yes, like always :’)

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?always closed

79. do you believe in ghosts?yees

80.what is your biggest pet peeve?I only have one and its dog Leo which is cotton de tulear and smoll bean who likes to bork

81. last person you called?my mom

82. favorite ice cream flavor?chocolate, vanilla and mint

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? regular

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?aaaaa both

85. what shirt are you wearing?gray cat t-shirt

86. what is your phone background?Primarina

87. are you outgoing or shy?shy mostly but when you get know me outgoing

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?YEEEEEES if its person i know and trust

89. do you like your neighbors?of course

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?yes when i have time and motivation. mostly morning

91. have you ever been high?ye

92. have you ever been drunk?oh many times since i turned 18

93. last thing you ate?waffles

94. favorite lyrics right now

‘Cause you said you’d never let me goAnd I said I can but now we knowThat it’s too hard to say three wordsToo hard to make it work

and

She’s looking outFrom the war that’s insideShe’s screaming outCause no one survivedBut when you’re all aloneYou wait and you hideCause it’s the story of a queenWhose castle has fallen to the seaKnowing there’s no one who will beA king that will come and save his queen

OR

I’m not about to complainThat’s too much time and energyToo long a walk to try to turn backAnd i’m not the sameIt’s plain enough to seeBut some of us are living in the past

Oh, but looking at the present’s fucking sad

95. summer or winter?summer mostly since winter is so cold and its hard to move with bike

96. day or night?night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?all, can’t choose

98. favorite month?don’t have one

99. what is your zodiac signfish sticks (Pisces)

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?this bih who asked this ask

[flaggerx]

The Not-So-Great Society

Hey my Fellow White People. Have you seen the TV lately, the huge crowds around the White House, the site of Congressmen maced for no reason, reporters arrested for no reason, old men shoved to the ground and abandoned with skull fractures. Noticed that the demonstrations are taking place in almost every towns and in fact, have touched off demonstrations in Europe, in part because racism is not an exclusive to Americans.

But racism is real. No denying that now that we saw George Floyd murdered on that street by cops who saw him die and just didn't care. Or about EMT Brianna Taylor, shot to death in her own bed by cops making a no-knock arrest. We've been watching this movie since we watched Rodney King take a major beat-down in 1992. That's almost thirty years ago, with story after story of some unarmed black guy killed by the police. He ever heard of Amadur Diallo sodomized with broomstick in a New York City police station. Black men been killed for selling cigarettes. They've been shot for reaching for their wallet. Really, they've been shot for being black.

That's right, shot for being black. I mean, have you ever had to tell your kids what to do if they are pulled over or searched by the police? Have you ever had to have that 'talk'. We teach our kids that if they need help to Call the police. We trust they'll treat us fairly. And usually they do. Black parents can't do that.

That, my friends, is white privilege. We don't get pulled over for driving a nice car because someone who looks like us is supposed to drive a nice car. But if your LeVar Burton from Star Trek you get used to getting pulled over for driving a Bimmer then asked for your autograph when the cop turns out to be Trek fan. You have to learn to laugh it off. And you have to give your kids the talk.

Racism is real. If we've learned anything over the past few weeks we ought to have learned that our dreams of a “post-racial America” were as big a fantasy as anything Tolkien ever wrote. We are not a post-racial society, we are racist society. And that means you and me.

Yes, I know. You (hopefully) never joined the Ku Klux Klan or burned a cross. You don't hate black people. You hope they do well, really. But that's up to them. And that's where your thinking stops. But you may not actually know any, and you may never have listened to any. You may know a couple, but have you ever invited them over. Have you ever talked about race?

Because it's real. I mean, there are people who can pass as something else, but for the most part it's more obvious than gender. And most of us have some sot of prejudice. Maybe all of us, which means that being racist doesn't mean you're evil. (unless you are a cross burner). It means your human, full of foibles and weaknesses like the rest of us. And we can work on our weaknesses, but as any shrink'll tell you first, you must acknowledge they exist

And here's another thing, we have the policing we want! That's right, we wanted this. Oh, maybe we didn't want to watch George Floyd unable to breathe, but for the paste forty years our political system has been calling for exactly the kind of cops that killed him. We declared “war on crime” and “war on drugs” and we wanted aggressive warrior police, whose idea of a good day at work is to rack up a bunch of arrests, write more tickets and be a go getter who will get the bad guys. Really, America has been hoping for T.J. Hooker.

The intellectual backing for all of this what Criminologists call Deterrence Theory. The idea is that crimes have a certain benefit, therefore punishment must be stern enough to keep people from committing them. It fits well with the fundamental idea that only the Fear of God keeps people moral. Deterrence Theory has some advantages, it's simple, easily understood and makes intuitive sense. It really does a good job of explaining why honest people stay honest. The reason I don't drive ninety five-- deterrence theory. It works really well for people who have something to lose, which is most of us. I have a house, a good job, a cat, I mean why in the world would I want to put that at risk? I'm not twenty-two and feeling any need to impress any hot chicks, so deterrence theory works pretty well for me, and probably for you. But the problem with deterrence theory is if a little of it is good, more is not necessarily better.

And that's the theory that has dominated American political thinking for the past forty years. We wanted a “war on crime”. We wanted politicians who were “tough on crime”. Judicial races at the state and local level well all about 'toughness” and having a judge with “the strength to apply the death penalty”. Try being a politician who argues that maybe we should try another way and they are and were, labled “weak on crime” and very often lost the next election. And that's the idea behind laws with a mandatory minimum sentence. That's the idea behind “three strikes and your out” laws. The old maxim “don't do the crime if you can't afford to do the time” was all over the place, with the idea that if only we made the laws tough enough criminals would choose to go straight.

Problem is that really didn't work, because if a little deterrence is good more really doesn't make a bit of difference. It just locks people up for a lot longer. The reasons for this are complex, but let me list a few. First of all, crime isn't exactly characterized by a lot of thought. Many crimes, those we deem “crimes of passion” are characterized by no thinking at all. Yet Deterrence theory would have you think that criminals performed some sort of mental calculus of the expected profit of the crime divided by the probability of being caught times the sentence multiplier. Criminals are rarely mathematicians. And when you think about it the difference between a four and a twenty year sentence is sort of abstract. Yes we can all say the sentence is five times longer. But does it really look that way in an act of criminal calculus? One year is a really long time. And no matter what you're likely beaten up and/or raped along the way. Prison is a thing to be avoided, so if you get that you probably won't commit crimes.

Unless you're Ted Bundy or Roger Stone and think you can get away with anything.

And the thing is when you're a criminal sometimes the term “sentence” is the LAST thing on a criminal's mind even when the sentence might include “death”. Any objective reading of the statistics between death penalty and non-death penalty states is that death deters no one at all. People are just as likely to murder when they can be killed for it and that was true before finding a humane way to off someone became very difficult to do. The Utah State Rifleers who executed Gay Gilmore didn't deter him. He did what he did because he had to do it.

Like drug addicts. Any medical professional will tell you that addiction is a chronic long-term condition not a sign of weak character. Take a heroin addict, and I've known a couple. They're nice most of the time until dope sick begins and then they will rob and steal because the only thing that matters in the whole wide world is not being dope sick any more. Addicts prostitute themselves, rob and steal, and deal in order to support their habit. They don't do it because they're bad people, they do it because they're addicts.

And that leads us to the second part of the traditional American approach to crime. There are Good People, who obey the Law, and Bad People who Don't.

The problem with this is it isn't effing true. True there are people who would leave a $100 bill lying on a sidewalk because it isn't theres. Not many, but they exist. As do sociopaths for whom the only thing that actually matters is their own personal gratification. But the rest of us are Somewhere in the Middle, and you know what makes the difference? How much money you have.

Yeah, it's true. Why steal if your wallet's full of money? Oh a few people do it for thrill-seeking, but again people with money don't steal. They spend. It's when you don't have money to spend that that $100 bill slips to picking any coins you find. And a lot of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. For a lot of Americans the car breaking down is a disaster, while for some it is an inconvenience. And they're usually the people driving the cars most likely to break down.

Employee theft is the biggest single problem in retail, for the simple reason that retail pays like crap. Many are near minimum wage workers who may have to hold multiple jobs to pay their bills. So think about working sixty or seventy hours a week and every time you put a little bit of money ahead you need glasses or the car breaks down, or if you have kids, they need something, and you can't really supervise them because you're working seventy hours a week and can't afford good day care.

That's how almost half of America lives. Don't think so? Read Barbara Eherenreich's Nickle and Dimed. Learn how the Lunch Counter Lady struggles to get by every single day of her life. Now look at her seventeen year old kid, who has had hand-me-down clothing most of his life except for a couple items, (say sneakers), who is a bit angry and has never met anyone but authority figures with a real stake in society.

Now lets make him that kid black. If we have learned one thing from the heavy black body count is that black people scare white Americans. If a politician wants to scare you on crime, he will always put up a picture of a mean looking black male. Always, like Ronald Reagan did with Willie Horton. Learn your campaign history, in American politics nobody is scarier than a black man.

We have learned that you can get pulled over for Driving While Black. Brianna Taylor was killed for Sleeping While Black. Or you can die for Jogging while Black as we have seen. Or get threatened for Birding while Black. Note I haven't had to go very far back for examples of all this. And the truth is Law Enforcement treats Black kids differently than they do white kids. White kids don't get racially profiled.

And how would you feel if some cop pulled you over for no reason whatsoever, just to question you and to remind you that he has Power and you do not. Please don't tell me you won't bitch about. Now make it the fourth time and you have a young man who is just plain sick of it. Can you see the problems there?

Cops think that black people are more likely to commit crimes. Of course poor people are more likely to commit crimes and that's because they're poor. A rich white kid is likely to get off because his parents can afford good legal representation that the poor black kid can't and because they'll assume it's youthful folly, which all of us have engaged in to one extent or another. But if it's a black kid the very same cop is likely to assume that this is the beginning of a long career and he had better come down hard now so the kid knows he's in for a world of hurt.

And now our somewhat pissed off poor black kid has a criminal record. Now he is a Bad Guy. And if it was serious, he has a felony and a whole lot of career paths were just cut off. Now he's likely to stay poor because he lost his temper in the face of what was real bullshit.

Or maybe, because he's poor and because when he looks around the only homeboys who have any money are dealers. Ever seen Boys in the Hood? Yeah, it's fiction, but sometimes fiction can tell the truth more clearly and faithfully than dry statistics. Who has the money? Not Mom and Dad because if they did you wouldn't be living in the Hood. It's the dealers, the bangers and they come around looking for you, trying to make sure if You're In, or mess you up If you're Not.

And that takes us to the next part of American Jurisprudence. The Drug Laws are racist. If you want to argue otherwise then please explain why the penalties for crack cocaine, which affects primarily colored neighborhoods are so much more severe than for powdered cocaine, the drug of choice for rich white folks like Robin Williams (Cocaine addiction is a sign you're making too much money). To be fair, I don't think they were intended that way by many of the people who voted for them, but at the end of the day if they act in a racist way the question is entirely academic. Cops bust everyone for drugs, but the street dealers can be white, but often are not, and they get long mandatory sentences that takes them out of circulation for years. Which is perfect if you think they are Bad People, incapable of functioning in society.

I see them as functioning well, given where they started. Not every kid has professional parents like I did. Not every kid is born with a house full of books, ate a balanced diet for their entire life. Not every boy grows up surrounded by people who live in nice houses, eat steak regularly, have parents who always give them a straight answer or had a Mom who could be home for them when they were little. I always knew a kid could make it because my life is full of people who live good lives. Kids who grow up poor often don't have those role models, and maybe even don't have a Dad because Dad is in jail for dealing. And when the people who have money all operate outside the Law it makes sense to do that yourself.

So really, we as white Americans, the most privileged people on the face of the Earth, are screwing ti up for others. Black Americans didn't come her out of free will, like our ancestors did. They were taken here in chains by our ancestors, and so we are responsible for them being here. They are our fellow citizens with the same right to America's bounty and opportunity as anyone. But our theory of justice, our assumptions as a society have led to them being more likely to die for the color of our skin. And that is simply unacceptable. It violates every precept of the Declaration of Independence, every bit of what we say America stands for. We cannot paper this over or just tweak the system.

We need a different type of cop. We don't need to count busts or seek out men eager to jump into the “battlespace”. We need conciliators, listeners because we ask cops to be social workers far to often.

We need social workers and we need to value them, not look at the people who need them as being 'weak” or lazy. We are often contemptuous of those who are addicts or have other issues. Instead we need to see them as partners in creating a just society. We ask cops to do everything from write tickets to talk people out of jumping off buildings. They see is when we're bleeding from car accidents and console people whose children have been gunned down. They chase down and catch murderers. We need to stop idolizing the “hero cop” who charges into the building and honor more the guy who can calm the angry drunk. I'n not sure how to get from here to there, but where we are has failed. We need to realize that real economic opportunity must exist at the bottom for it to exist anywhere. We need to change at a fundamental level. We need to hold police accountable for their actions and we need police who will hold each other accountable. We cannot go on as we are. There are too many dead bodies, too many brown bodies locked away, to many struggling just to live for America to be a just society.

[georgialouisea]

Vampire Killer Is Your Job?

Characters - Reader, Jody, Alex, Claire, Sam and Dean.

Word Count - 2977 Warnings -  Violence A/N -  New series i’ve started!

Life had always been pretty hard on you, parents murdered when you were 5, run ins with the law, dropping out of school, being in a dead end job as a waitress. A washed up bar maid at the age of 25, what could be better. When you thought life couldn't get any worse here you were. Tied up in an abandoned barn, beaten, bruised and being used as a personal feeding bag for these bloodsucking freaks. This was day 2, day 2 of this hell, of the despair you were in. Being used as a blood bag had a slight advantage, they wanted you alive giving you more time to plan some form of escape. When you were smashed over the head with a bottle of booze in a back alley on your way home, which was over 48 hours ago, you thought you were dead for sure, you were sure some random sicko had taken you to murder. That you accepted however when you opened your eyes you were tied up in a barn, your neck being sucked dry by a freak. These ‘vampires’ couldn't be real, nothing like that existed, monsters weren't real. Yet 48 hours later you were being drained of blood once again by a new face, accepting a new fate, death at the hands of a vampire.

As the blood loss began to make you drowsy your eyelids grew heavy, leaning your head back against the post attempting to steady your vision. If they continued to drain you at the rate they were going you’d be dead in a few hours. As you let sleep wash over you, the barn was filled with a stream of light, your eyes took a lot longer than usual to adjust to the light, all you could see were shadows, someone killing these monsters? Chopping their heads off? Putting the sight down to delusion due to the blood loss, you rested your head back against the post as screams filled the air. Opening your eyes once more to see a woman covered in blood wielding a machete.

“Hey, stay still. I’m here to help. Okay?” She asked, her tone caring yet harsh.

“Turn around” You stuttered out as a figure appeared behind your saviour, In one swoop she had sent another head rolling across the barn floor.

“Here.” She began to untie your wrists, producing a small knife and cutting the ties on you. Helping you to your feet as you wobbled and fell instantly as your legs gave in underneath you. “My car is right outside sweetie, I’m going to get you to a hospital.” She spoke with authority as she took most of your weight as she frantically tried to help you walk to her car. As you reached the car your body grew heavy, eye lids heavy, breathing became harder with each breath. Then darkness.

Opening your eyes to a blinding white light, believing death had finally taken you, a woman voice beckoned you, the lady from before, your saviour.

“Hey take it easy. You took a real beating from those vamps.” She smiled as her hand squeezed yours, she must have been holding it before you woke up. “What’s your name sweetie?” She asked looking into your eyes as she spoke.

“Y/N” You replied smiling a little, which was all your face could manage realising your lip was busted. “Thank you. I would have died.” You spoke as you mirrored her squeeze.

“I’m Jodie Mills.” She responded. “It’s what I do.” She said as she released your hand.

“Vampire killer is your job?” You asked genuinely confused at to how Jodie found you.

“I’m a cop day to day. On the side when people get attacked or taken, like you did I help them too, theres a lot of things in this world people don't know about. If they did there would be a panic. So hunters like myself get to them before it becomes national knowledge.” Jodie explained as she leaned forwards lowering her voice as she continued.

“How did you find me?” You asked shifting in the bed to face her, twitching in pain as you moved your neck a hand flying up to it as a gasp escaped your lips.

“Are you okay?” Jodie questioned, jumping to her feet to check on you.

“Just sore.” You admitted as you motioned for Jodie to sit down.

“I was tracking the vamps, you're lucky they kept you alive. They've killed 5 others.” She mumbled as she spoke.

“Thank you for saving me Jodie.” Smiling as you spoke.

You were released from the hospital 2 days later. Jodie visited multiple times a day, she spent hours talking with you, telling all about the home situation she had with Claire and Alex. As soon as your papers were processed and you were released Jodie asked if you'd like to stay with her for a while. Truthfully you had never had a real friend, Jodie was shaping up to be a great friend. Settling in with Jodie and the girls was so easy, you got on so well with both of the girls. The weeks sped by, your wounds healed, helping Jodie in any way you could. When you began to feel you were outstaying your welcome Jodie that day asked you to move in with the 3 of them. Your old flat was awful, expensive and above a takeaway shop. Jodie’s was warm, homely, loving. Jodie had grown to be like your big sister, months went by you were now living with Jodie, Claire and Alex. Jodie had helped you get a job in the police department, she had also taught you everything she knew about hunting and how to stay safe.

It was 11pm on a Friday night you had spent the day at work, Claire was watching TV, Alex was out partying and Jodie was working a night shift. Sitting at the dining room table book in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Relaxing and unwinding from your day, getting half way down a page in your new murder mystery book you were hooked. A knock at the door pulled you from your reading. Groaning in annoyance as you stood knowing Claire couldn’t care less that someone is at the door, wine glass still in hand as you unlocked the door and opened it slightly as you peered around the door. Your gaze was met by two men, tall handsome men. One taller than the other with longer brown hair, the other shorter had short blonde hair and beautiful green eyes.

“Can I help you?” You asked the handsome strangers as you grew a bit weary of the strangers at the door at this time.

“Yeah is Jodie in?” The taller one asked giving a reassuring smile to you sensing your uneasiness.

“No sorry, She’s working. If you give me your names I’ll let her know you stopped by.” You proposed placing your wine on the sideboard as you spoke.

“Sam Winchester.” The taller one introduced himself. “This is my brother Dean.” He motioned towards the man stood next to him.

“I’ll let her know you've stopped by. I’m Y/N.” You told the brothers still at the door.

“Sam? Dean?” Claire’s voice rang through the hallway as she appeared next to you. “What are you doing here?” She asked standing in front of you opening the door for the men to come in. “Are you hunting something?” She questioned her voice laced with excitement.

“Possibly. What time is Jodie back from work?” Sam asked as he remained outside looking back at you.

“I don’t know. Y/N?” She asked turning to look back at you.

“3am” You responded looking between the three people in front of you.

“Come in guys.” Claire announced taking a step back as she spoke.

“Is that okay?” Dean asked as he looked at you, you were unknowingly glaring into the back of Claire’s head for inviting strangers into the house. “What is my word not okay now?” Claire barked at Dean.

“You’re not the adult kiddo.” Dean quipped in response as a smirk crept on his face as he looked at you.

“Sure come on in. If you're friends of Claire and Jodie.” You smiled at Dean who had annoyed Claire quicker then you have ever seen anyone do so.

Taking off their shoes as they entered and dropping two identical duffle bags next to the shoes they followed Claire to the sofa. Locking up the door behind them you picked up your wine and followed the men you were curious to learn more about.

“Would you boys like a drink?” You asked as you reached the men who had made themselves at home.

“Beer please.” Dean asked as he turned to look at you.

“I’ll get them.” Sam stated as he got up to assist you.

“I need a top up anyway.” Shrugging as you finished the last of the wine in your glass.

Reaching the kitchen and pulling two beers from the fridge and handing them to Sam, returning back to find your wine. “So how do you know Claire?” You asked still looking in the fridge.

“It’s a long story.” Sam began to talk as he took a sip of beer.

“She knows!” Claire bellowed from the sofa.

Returning your gaze to Sam confusion swept over you.

“Her Dad was a vessel for an angel and we saved her a few times I guess. Now she’s here with Jodie and you and Alex.” Sam confessed as he took another drink from the bottle.

“Oh. So you’re the hunters who saved Jodie all those years ago?” You asked Sam as you poured the remainder of the wine into your glass.

“Yeah. We were.” Sam shrugged.

Motioning towards the sofas as Sam began to walk with the beers in hand. Taking a sip of your wine as you followed him back to the sofas to watch whatever Claire had put on the TV. Sitting down on the vacant sofa you took in the men in front of you. They were so beautiful, they were hunters yet they cared a lot, they’ve saved Jodie, Claire and Alex.

“So Y/N.” Deans voice ripped you from your daze. “How’d you know Jodie?” Dean asked as he took the beer off his brother.

“I was a dead end waitress, left work got attacked and woke up in a barn with vamps using me as a blood bank, 2 days later and Jodie rescued me. Been here ever since.” You explained your story as you took another drink from your glass. “Jodie took me to hospital, looked after me, taught me all there is in the world, well what she knew of. She wanted to keep an eye on me so brought me here, months later a new job at the police department and I’m living here with the 3 girls. Jodie is like my big sister now.” Elaborating as you looked at Claire.

“Well, I’m glad we taught Jodie what we did.” Dean began as he looked at you a smile creeping across his face.

“Dean stop flirting.” Claire barked at him as she rolled her eyes at his actions.

“Shut up.” Dean snapped at the girl taunting him. “Shouldn't you be in bed anyway?” Dean asked raising an eyebrow as he motioned for her to leave.

“Whatever.” Claire snarled towards Dean as she made her way to her room. “Night Y/N” She said as she left the room. Leaving the Winchesters and yourself alone, Hearing the door to her room shut you turned your attention back to the brothers in front of you.

“So how did you two start in the whole hunting world?” You asked as you looked between the brothers.

“Well when we were young, a demon killed our mother, our Dad became obsessed on hunting and killing the Demon responsible for murdering our mother. So we grew up in it.” Dean trailed off drinking the last of his beer.

“Another?” You asked motioning to the empty bottle in Dean’s hand, before tuning to Sam and motioning to his.

“Sure.” Dean replied as Sam nodded in response to your question.

“One more thing, why are you two here looking for Jodie?” You queried remembering why the brothers were here in the first place.

“We have some time off actually and there is a possible case.” Sam replied as he followed you towards the kitchen.

“You guys get much time off?” Asking as you produced two more beers from the fridge.

“Not really.” Sam admitted as he opened the bottles, “Usually a day or so but there’s always a case somewhere.” He sighed taking a drink from one of the bottles.

“Want me to crack out the harder stuff?” You questioned taking in the look of defeat on Sam’s face.

“Yeah whatcha got?” Dean yelled from where he sat.

“I’ll bring it in now.” You laughed at Dean’s hearing. “What time is it?” You asked the brothers, realising you last knew it was 11pm. Reaching into one of the cupboards grabbing a few bottles of alcohol and placing them on the table.

“It’s 12:45.” Sam announced as he took both beers and two of the bottles of liquor off the table towards the sofa.

“May aswell wait for Jodie to get in then. I’m sure she won’t mind you cashing on the sofas. Plus I need to wait up for Alex to come home and if needs be sober her up.”

“Where is she?” Dean asked noticing her absence for the first time.

“House party somewhere.” You shrugged as you settled down into the sofa next to Sam.

“You’re on big sister duty?” Dean questioned as he sipped on a beer.

“Yeah, It’s not too bad. Sobering up Alex and Claire when needed, free taxing and general things. I’m so lucky to be here, to even be alive.”

“Jody is good.” Sam smiled as he relaxed back on the sofa as you turned the TV down allowing Claire to get some sleep.

A while later of drinking and chatting the door flung open a visibly drunk Alex stumbled in along with another equally drunk girl.

“For God sake Alex. Who the Hell is this?” You questioned as you picked Alex up from the floor.

“Sheeess … a .ffend…” Alex slurred.

“She’s not staying here.” You warned as you sat her down on the sofa, “How you even get here?”

“A … carrr.” Alex threw her hands out at you.

“God sake, you said you weren't drinking that much.” You groaned at her and her pure teenage stupidity.

“Ohhh…. tequilasss….” Alex lurched forwards reaching to grab the bottle from in front of Dean. His reflexes were quick as he scooped the bottle and moved it from her reach.

“Woah no. You need water and sleep.” Dean advised.

“Right, she can stay. Both of you need coffee now!” You ordered as you began making coffees, glancing at the clock it was 2:30, less than 30 minutes until Jody’s shift ended. “I hate to do this but can you two give me a hand? I have 30 minutes until Jodie finishes work.” You begged the boys.

“Sure, I’ll finish the coffee.” Sam offered as he took over from you.

“What can I do?” Dean asked.

“Help me get these two to Alex’s room.” Putting your arms under Alex’s arms you attempted to lift her as she became a dead weight. “God.”

30 minutes later you’d managed to sober up both girls by a little, you’d left them with bottles of water, blankets, towels and buckets. Anything Alex did now was her own responsibility and she can clean up herself. Closing the door leaving them to it you couldn't help but sigh as your back hit the sofa cushions. It seemed as soon as you did so Jody arrived home.

“Y/N, why are you still up?” She asked closing and locking the door, all with her back to you.

“We had guests.” You yawned as you stretched your legs out.

“Who?” She asked turning around. “Sam? Dean? What are you two doing here?” She asked enveloping them each into a hug.

“We have a break and a possible case.” Dean informed as Jody’s eyes grew wide warning Dean of your presence.

“She knows about use Jody, Claire told us she knows and we’ve had a few hours talking.” Sam filled Jody in on what she’d missed.

“Well okay then! Where are you two staying?” Jody questioned as you realised you’d offered them the sofa’s, Jody’s sofas, not yours. “We’re going to check into a nearby motel.”

“Stay here. If you’re both okay with couches.” Jody offered.

“Thank’s Jody.”

“Okay I’m heading to bed, don't stay up to late kids.” Jody jested as she began to head towards her bedroom.

“Oh wait Jodie, Alex has a friend staying over.”

“Okay.” She shrugged as she left the room.

“I think I’m going to get some sleep too.” You yawned as you stood up stretching. “I’ll get some blankets and pillows.”

You’d set up Sam and Dean a sofa bed each and given them some water. Both men had a duffel bag each which they didn't have before, you noticed they’d changed into sweats.  “Right, I’m off to sleep guys, see you tomorrow.”

“Night.” They said in unison as they settled onto the sofas.

A white hot searing pain ripped through your neck and wrists as you opened your eyes, you were back, back in the barn. Vampires bleeding you dry, you were no longer use to them, they had a new blood bag, younger, larger. Your pleas went unanswered as you continued to be feasted upon. With each blink your vision blurred further as you felt unconsciousness pulling you under. Until finally death.

Taglist -

@mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivajessica

[anomalagous]

lc’s ongoing long-ass list of what the fuck, teen wolf, and other sundry E606:Ghosted edition.

scott getting a little tiny bit snarly at the sheriff for not believing~~ in stiles gives me life

this old-ass map not only puts beacon hills on top of a real life place called scotty place which still makes me laugh, but also substantially more north and eastward than i originally estimated.

why the fuck didnt naziwolf just get the fuck outta bh?

why did he choose to stay and teach high school of all things?

california requires an 18 month accreditation course and a certain GPA of teachers who do not have an education degree, i know this from direct experience. its been three months since naziwolf busted out of his bacta tank, so what the fuck

if he forged his credentials, how

when

when did he actually learn all of the post WW2 physics and electromagnetics things he clearly genuinely knows and has a genuine interest in?

did the dread doctors read him bedtime stories from their science journals?

if so, what the fuck

i guess if youre an alpha werewolf you can sleep in the backseat with no seatbelt and its not a big deal if you crash

good job on malia being the driver and not crashing them im proud of her

reading the date of the canaan abduction in the standard american way it was april 8th, 1987, which cant be a coincidence given that’s stiles birthday (albeit pre-stiles)

if canaan has been abandoned for 30 years, who has been cutting these obviously not overgrown lawns and trimming these obviously not overgrown accent shubberies

why isnt that flag beat up or torn in any way?

kudos on giving that convertible the old 80s style california plates but why arent any of the windows on any of the cars busted out? no flat tires? no rust or missing doors?

also that shot of the ‘town’ where there was more substantial damage looked fake as hell and the crosswalk was proceeding at the wrong angle and i cant unsee it.

why is there still power running to these street lamps?

for that matter who has their street lamps scheduled to turn on in the middle of the day?

was that block party banner over the street lettered on both sides? it reads properly no matter what side youre looking at, which seems weird.

why is there blood on the carousel? was that explained? we’ve never seen the ghost riders’ gun draw blood that i can recall

im not even sure we’ve really seen their whips draw blood per se and certainly it wouldn’t have caused that kind of blood stain

also why is the blood still wet and red 30 years later? why wasn’t that newspaper rotted out? either time impacted this town to make it shitty as hell or it didn’t, pick one, you cannot have both. it still rains enough in california to totally disintegrate a newspaper in thirty years.

how the fuck did that carousel function even that tiny bit after 30 years in the elements?

why did melissa have to sneak chris argent around, couldnt he have just declined the operation against medical advice?

also good to see scott got his utter inability to lie from his mom

even if malia isnt wearing 100% stiles’ void-hoodie how could the costume department have thought for a minute we wouldnt have thought that was the void hoodie?

malia having a hallucination of theo in the same episode he comes back in for real seemed both rushed and entirely unnecessary.

in fact these hallucinations seemed wholesale unnecessary and neither scott nor malia deserved that nonsense

were all of these dead leaves already on location or did some poor asshole have to ship them in and then ship them out again

come to think of it, at first i was really excited to see coral/eucalyptus trees as they are actually trees that are in california (as opposed to the type of oak the nemeton is, which is distinctly Not a type of tree in california) but then i realized those are Southern California Trees and if beacon hills (and canaan) are that far north and close to the oregon border, the trees should be way more pines and evergreens and not coral or eucalyptus or ... any deserty tree, really.

seriously were these hallucinations just to show malia can feel sad too?

malia was wearing really subtle gold eyeshadow earlier. now it’s dark shadowing up to her browbone. does being a werecoyote also mean being able to shift your makeup at will? cause thats cool

do little girls seriously still play with baby dolls while hitting their first strides of puberty? im beginning to think i was never actually a little girl.

how much younger than malia was kylie supposed to be? bc she looks like 12 here but malia was like... 10 when the desert wolf murdered her family, right? was SHE the younger sister??

teen wolf shamelessly reusing shots with new filters on them like never before. this ain’t even the fifth time i’ve caught them doing this, this season, and i’ve literally never seen them do it in any of the other seasons.

im not sure anybody told kylie’s actress she wasnt gonna get to make out with shelley

how do werecreatures get piercings? or were her ears pierced first before the change?

why does anyone let liam make any decisions, ever?

i do not get why everyone finds naziwolf so hot

seriously i have a little tree-bush exactly like this right outside my door/garage and that shit is wild and untamed in just a month of no trimming in 30 years it would not have that nice slender shape anymore

also trees being choked to death by kudzu or whatever all these vines are dont look that healthy

is there even kudzu in california??? ive never seen so many vines in all my 10 years of living here.

the first house scott goes in theres like no tv in the living room but there is one chair (with no dining table) all alone in the dining room area, which just looks sad.

oh sorry two chairs set up in what was clearly the worlds most melancholy staring contest.

my dentist used to have that exact sailboat wallpaper trim around the top of his exam rooms.

scotts bullying a door.

have melissa and chris argent actually told the pack about the head-biting yet bc i feel like they should know

i think more people have asked scott if he’s okay in this episode than in the last three seasons, which is sad bc it’s basically just lydia and malia that do it.

that one house has some brutal earthquake damage in its exterior wall.

poseys microexpressions are so woefully underrated, he really is brilliant.

i have more grey hair than jr bourne and that makes me really angry

i like that they’re doing alchemy with druidic compounds/hedgemagic/whatever you want to call it more than i could possibly express.

why is there a porch loveseat on the step up to this one house but that FLAG IS ENTIRELY INTACT?

how convenient that all three of them were looking at that window when lenore decided to fuck with the drapery.

that said scott’s resultant HOLY SHIT?!?? face is amazing

how has lenore been surviving in this town, does she not need water, electric, heat, groceries? where did the lemons for the lemonade come from?

all this wood paneling is the most 70s thing i have ever seen in my life

i appreciate the little cast iron redwood decoration with the ‘m’ on the bottom of it.

everything!! in!! this!! house!! is!! brown!!

that piano as a busted af bass key there.

i feel like i’ve seen that other metal flower/leaf decor before. the new version of the stilinski house, maybe?

lenore has an intimidatingly large smile and i feel like that as an intentional casting choice

how come malia and scott couldnt hear her heartbeat after scott explicitly called out that there were no heartbeats? or for that matter not hear that caleb also didn’t have one? (presumably.)

im not 100% sure but i think malia is holding scott’s hand when they enter the dining room area of lenore’s house, which is adorable so i accept no other reality now.

i honestly feel really bad for lenore.

i would say the fisheye lens is s6′s slo mo but the slo mo didnt go anywhere

i dont know if its supposed to be fancy or artisinal or whatever you called that in the 80s but dont put green shit in your lemonade, green shit does not belong in your lemonade. lemons. sugar. water. it isn’t hard.

malia like chugs a good half of her glass at once, but when she sets it back down it is more full than any of the other glasses. i prefer to think she just faked drinking it to try and gain lenore’s trust than it’s a continuity error from the props department.

when lenore starts using her banshee powers to shake the house, it also magically converts the lemonade into water.

lenore has a pair of decorative ducks on her wall but they appear to be two male mallard ducks, so. gay duck decor.

so when does lydia get to have telekinesis?

i dont think im a very big fan of how angela harvey handles scott.

malia did NOT make a fist like she was really committing to trying to punch out that window.

seriously scotts the alpha he doesnt need lydia to give him permission to do things scott thinks need to be done

that being said scott going into the basement with a creepy kid when youre obviously in some kind of horror movie trope was stupid

the cameras they used for the senior pack team were super blurry anytime anyone moved even the littlest bit, its so annoying.

scott barely being tall enough to reach this tiny-ass basement window is endearing to me

there is no way a vhs tape that wet would run. i remember vhs tapes. they were not sturdy.

i feel like we used to have the same VCR in my parents’ room tho

also what the hell camcorder did they record this on that put it straight on VCR, camcorders in the 80s had weird little small VCR tapes you had to put in a converter. that was just a standard VCR tape.

also why are there jumpcuts in the home video? did somebody cut the original footage and THEN put it on a standard VCR tape?  how much fucking work was THAT??

caleb goes from 0 to 100 on the creepy poltergeist scale real quick

well okay maybe from like 40 to 100

banshee duel yessssss

literally why would noshiko do this after she saw what happened with the nogitsune

not that i necessarily think theo is as dangerous as the nogitsune but he is well bad enough

look at this worthless white boy doing this shit against all the advice of the woc around him

why does the sword do this, i thought the power was in kira and not the sword

if the power is in the sword why couldnt noshiko fix her own damn blade

look at this other worthless white boy even more worthless than the first

that looks like melissa is putting like grout on chris’ injury that does not look comfortable

oh look hes screaming imma guess it was not in fact comfortable

gratuitous jr bourne fanservice

awwww theyre holding haaaaands again

how did this kid get on the stairs the last time we saw him he was by the tv, why did scott and malia let him herd him like this

i appreciate malia’s willingness to beat up a kid poltergeist immensely

of the pictures on caleb’s walls, many are pictures of insects. one is a blue crab. one says ‘guten’ on it, which somehow entertains me a lot.

this is the second time this episode has tried to make me scared of carousel horses

the vhs footage loops while no one is attending to it which is not how vhs tapes work

malia is such a treasure

that being said having nearly drowned twice in my childhood this whole drowning-on-dry-land conceit is not super great for me

screencapping this is so gross

i love lydia’s fierce banshee scream face

so the blood was on the carousel before the wild hunt attack, as we see in lydia’s vision. SO WHY IS IT THERE??

THERE ARE KIDS RIDING ON THIS CAROUSEL WHILE SOME OF THE HORSES ARE BLOODY

poor skateboard bro couldnt even take his skateboard like rude wild hunt

i feel like there’s a lot more ghost riders here than there are in beacon hills. maybe the ghost riders just come for particular towns and the ones in bh are actually like... cora isaac and danny.

its amazing how much younger a good foundation can maybe somebody look

did liam SERIOUSLY just tell theo he can kill whoever he wants? did i hear that right? bc that is a TERRIBLE thing to tell theo, who has ALREADY KILLED A LOT OF PEOPLE, even if what you meant was ‘dont kill us you need us’.

i cant believe we got this cheap knockoff as an excuse to not have kira and then they didnt even let him have the powers he needed to do the job

otoh watching his ass get blasted back into the tunnels was satisfying

literally nobody cares if youre okay theo you murderous fuck

i wonder how many times scott had someone steadying him telling HIM he has to breathe like hes doing for malia right here

i should really keep a tally of how many times scott does stiles’ lizard tongue thing while stiles is gone

this is gross of me to think while the character is basically drowning but hey now i know what scott looks like with his bottom lip all wet and covered in somewhat translucent stretchy goo--jizz. okay. it looks like jizz.

scott mccall nearly drowns on dry land after a lifetime of severe asthma and the first thing he does after is ask if malia is ok

luckily THIS time she asks if HES okay to but jeez

he looks so shocked and confused to be asked extra jeez

more scolia handholding, this time while fleeing danger

i was literally three in 1987 and i still have more grey hair than lenore who was demonstrably an adult in 1987 I AM VERY ANGRY

that being said i realized why caleb here’s clothing was bothering me so much. nobody had shorts that long in the 80s. everybody wore short as hell shorts in the 80s. it was thighs everywhere.

these stupid motherfuckers taking theo to scott’s HOME and putting him in scott’s SAFE SPACE without even WARNING HIM oh my GOD

those better not also be scott’s CLOTHES

ok but WHY are the wild hunt trapped? did they BRING the northern lights or is the northern lights related to what’s trapping them?

excuse me but WHEN did lydia see anything related to what happens to people after the wild hunt takes them and why didnt we get to see it too?

seriously its like if scott is thinking of stiles then lizard blep

im so mad at liam for bringing theo back and putting him in scotts house i cant even see straight

and i just know that this anger that scott is being allowed will be it

and in a week or two itll be working with theo like nothing ever happened

im honestly shocked he even got this much

he even got undercut there by malias (also justified) rage

cool that the morrigan got a namedrop but i dont trust them with that story eitherrrrr

man let me tell you if this was martin and not scott and somehow he had been murdered and resurrected and was then confronted with his murderer in his pack house that murderer would not fucking leave alive

im still kind of mad that this season brought claudia back to life just to make her so sketch and make me kind of hate her, i didnt want to hate her

oh okay its a different weird leaf decor piece than the other one

oh yeah noah OKAY NOW youre starting to believe BUDDY you have faith issues

[themoneybuff-blog]

The Value of Competence and Mastery

One of the most interesting personal finance concepts Ive come across is the Renaissance ideal, which I first learned of from the writings of Jacob Lund Fisker. Fiskers idea is simple: For every skill out there that people find useful, there is a level of ability of that skill where, if youre below that level, youll pay someone else to do it for you, whereas if youre above that level, someone will pay you to do it. (if youre near that fine line, its usually worthwhile to just do it yourself.) Fisker argues that youre better off having a large set of skills that are above the level at which people will pay you to do it rather than performing at a very high level at just a few skills and having to pay others for all other skills. What does that mean in the real world? Lets say you have a researcher who is one of the brightest people in the entire world at a particular research area and a few associated skills, but aside from that, this researcher struggles with everyday life. That person can barely accomplish very basic household tasks and never with any efficiency and usually just throws money at basic needs (or relies on the generosity of others). On the other hand, you have a person who is a competent carpenter, a competent plumber, a competent chef, competent at IT, competent at household tasks, reasonably well versed on a lot of different intellectual topics, and so on. Fisker argues that the latter person, a person with a lot of areas of competence, is far more stable in terms of their financial future, because not only will that person have significantly fewer expenses, that person can easily find employment in a variety of fields and can often combine their competencies to find a lot of high paying jobs. A person with just a few highly trained skills might be world-class in those skills, but what if those skills become less valuable going forward? That person is in real trouble. This idea is largely in line with my own life experience and observation about how people (myself included) find employment. Over the years, however, Ive somewhat expanded and altered some of these ideas. Theres a lot to unpack here, so lets dig in. Competence and Skill When I look at this idea, I tend to see two different lines that separate skills into three groups. The lowest level of skill is what I might call incompetence, which is where youre unable to do the task at all and usually hire someone to do it for you. The next level of skill is competence, which is where youre able to do the task well for yourself and dont need to hire someone to do it for you. The highest level is what we might call mastery, which is where youre able to perform a skill well enough for someone to pay you to do it. This doesnt refer to jobs that are mostly manual labor that anyone could do, but jobs that require a specific skill. Lets look at cooking, for example. Someone who is incompetent at cooking subsists on prepackaged meals or meals prepared by someone else. Typically, this person either has someone in their household that cooks for them or theyre spending a lot of money on food preparation (whether its prepackaged meals from a factory or restaurant meals). Someone who is competent at cooking can make their own meals and snacks out of inexpensive ingredients. This significantly reduces their food bill. However, theyre generally not skilled enough where anyone would pay them to do this. Someone who is skilled at cooking can get a job at a restaurant because they can make good meals quickly and efficiently. You can do the same thing for almost any skill or area of knowledge. Theres a level of incompetence, where you dont understand the topic or the skill; a level of competence, where you reasonably understand the topic and can reasonably practice the skill; and a level of mastery, where you deeply understand the topic and can practice the skill at a very high level. Typically, people who are incompetent at particular skill have to pay others to do it for them, competent people can do those things for themselves, and masters are paid to do their thing. If we roll back to the analogy from earlier, the researcher is a very high-level master in a few specific areas, but is mostly incompetent in all other areas. As long as the researchers career cares about mastery of those specific areas, the researcher is fine, but the researcher is going to be carrying a lot of expense. The jack of all trades, on the other hand, has relatively low-level mastery of quite a few areas and competence in a ton of areas. This individual rarely has to hire anyone to do anything and is employable in a lot of situations. Rather than being paid for pure mastery of one area, this person usually makes money by combining a bunch of different lower level masteries and competencies into one package. Entrepreneurs often fall into this category, for example. Your Areas of Competence So, lets translate this to your own life. What things are you competent at? In other words, what things can you and do you easily handle for yourself that other people pay others to do? I dont mean that you do them well enough or efficiently enough to be employed to do it, but that you do it well enough to meet your own needs. Are you good at making your own meals? Keeping your house clean? Doing your own laundry? What about fixing minor plumbing issues? Handling basic car maintenance? Handing minor electrical issues in your home? Can you repair some non-electronic appliances? Can you fix electronics issues in your home? In other words, do you regularly need to buy prepackaged food or order food because youre not up to the task of making food? Do you have a housecleaning service because youre awful at housekeeping? Do you have a laundry service that you use? Do you call a plumber every time theres any kind of plumbing issue? Do you take your car to the shop for every minor issue and every maintenance task? Do you call an electrician every time something isnt quite right? Do you have an IT guy that you call (often a family member) whenever a device doesnt work the way you want it to work? Its okay if you do these things occasionally or when things demand someone with mastery, but competence means that you handle issues like this for yourself almost all of the time. Make a mental list of your areas of competence. What things do you do well enough for yourself that other people often pay people to do for them? You arent good enough (perhaps) to do it professionally, but youre certainly good enough to fulfill your own needs almost all of the time. Your Areas of Mastery Mastery generally refers to areas of expertise where you have a high enough level of skill and/or knowledge that other people rely on you for help and will often pay you for your knowledge, skill, and expertise. Most people that have a steady job that pays reasonably well have at least one area of mastery that they rely on, or else they rely on a lot of simultaneous ares of competence. Most people that run a small business, particularly a service-oriented one, have some sort of mastery that theyre drawing on, usually revolving around an ability to do something very efficiently and with good quality. What are you good enough at that people will pay you for the service? What knowledge do you have that others will pay you for the opportunity to tap it? Those are your areas of mastery. Obviously, there are varying degrees of mastery, and higher levels of mastery earn a higher wage. True masters can often name their own price and can often get away with few other areas of competence in their life. Becoming Competent The secret to becoming competent at something is to just do it as often as possible. If you want to become competent at cooking, just get yourself in the kitchen as frequently as you can. If you want to become competent at computer programming, just write code as frequently as you can. If you want to become competent at plumbing, dive into every home plumbing issue that you can, either in your own residence or running over to help out friends. If you want to become competent in a particular area of knowledge, start reading books and taking notes on that subject. At first, youre going to be bad at whatever task it is youre taking on, and thats perfectly fine. If you have a bit of natural talent, you might quickly become competent at it; if not, itll take some time, but almost anyone can become competent at almost anything by doing it for a while. If you dont know how to do something, YouTube is an incredible resource for teaching you enough of the basics to become competent at almost anything you might want to do. If you want to learn about something, Wikipedia can give you just enough to figure out what books you should read on the subject. Competence, in my mind, means that you feel skilled enough at a particular task to simply prefer to do it for yourself most of the time rather than have someone else do it for you. Competence in an area of knowledge means you understand it well enough to explain it to others, and if its a concept thats debatable, you understand both the benefits and flaws of the concept well enough to explain it to others. You can carry on a conversation about that area of knowledge with both a person that knows almost nothing as well as a person with mastery in the topic. Heres an example of this idea at work, in the form of four people preparing a pasta meal. The first person is competent they can prepare a good meal for themselves. The next person is still what I would call competent, but a high level of competent they wouldnt quite be paid for it, but they can prepare a really good dinner at home. The last two people are at various levels of mastery. (An incompetent person in this video would call a local Italian restaurant and get takeout, or else flail around without any direction in the kitchen.) Turning Competence into Mastery The path from beginner to competence is easy enough just do it but how does one go from competence in an area to a level of mastery at which people will pay you to do that particular thing? Thats a lot harder. For starters, in some skill levels, your level of skill has to be incredibly high to be paid just for that skill. I could practice for the next 10 years and still not be good enough at basketball to get paid just to play basketball. Its not happening in any reality. I can definitely be competent at basketball understanding the game and playing in local pickup games but to be able to be paid for that? Its not happening. (Remember, were defining mastery here as a high enough skill level that people will pay you to perform that skill.) Some skills simply dont earn a lot of money, either. Other skills require some kind of external certification of your skill to earn a lot of money. In other words, there is no specific path or guaranteed path from competence to mastery. However, there are some things that almost all journeys have in common. For starters, they typically involve some form of deliberate practice. Deliberate practice is a type of practice that is focused on improving technique rather than mindless repetition. For example, if I just shot 100 free throws, that would be just mindless repetitive practice. However, if I shot 50 free throws with careful attention to detail, videotaped it, watched the video, looked for flaws, then spent the next 50 shots carefully shooting with attention to correcting those flaws, that would be deliberate practice. If you want to know more about the specifics of deliberate practice, heres a great introduction to deliberate practice by James Clear. Deliberate practice can be done for almost any skill. You do something carefully and deliberately, thinking about each step, study what youre doing to look for flaws, then do it carefully and deliberately with the intent of correcting those flaws. This is where a coach or a teacher can really help, but you can do this yourself. For mastery over areas of knowledge, I usually point to two things: meeting the requirements for employment in that area as well as being able to explain that area of knowledge to an elementary aged child. If I cant explain something to a child, I dont understand it forward and backward; however, if I can do that, I can almost always achieve certifications and such. One great way to practice this is to actually try to explain what youre learning to a child, or at least on a childs level. If you cant, note where youre having difficulty and you have a direct arrow to your next area of focus in your learning. As I noted earlier, the exact path to being able to be paid for a specific skill or area of knowledge varies quite a bit. A Palette of Competencies (and a Mastery or Two) These ideas are interesting, but how does this translate into practical advice for making more money? Lets dig right into that, shall we? Almost every employee and entrepreneur out there making more than minimum wage has achieved mastery in an area or a few related areas or has competence in a wide variety of areas. Often, the people who really succeed have both they are masters of business organization and communication and competent at engineering and computer programming, for example. So, ideally, if you want to earn more money, you should be aiming for a wide variety of competencies and a few masteries. Why is that so useful? Its often the combination of several competencies or the combination of a few masteries and a few competencies that add up to a lot of value. Its relatively easy to find a person thats a master level at one specific thing; its also relatively easy to find a person thats competent at a few things. Whats difficult is to find people with specific mixes of competencies and masteries that makes them specifically equipped to tackle valuable problems. Thats what people will pay a lot of money for. Thats how people found successful businesses. Theres a specific problem out there and they have a good mix of masteries and competencies to solve that problem. The thing is, the more competencies and masteries you accumulate, the greater the set of problems in life youre going to be able to solve. If youre a master of just one particular skill and are competent in two or three areas, there are likely a few jobs out there that are great for you, but not many. If you are a master of several things and competent at lots of things, there are likely lots of problems out there youre suited to solve, and thus lots of job opportunities and lots of potential entrepreneurial paths to follow. Thats because those different masteries and competencies combine in different ways for different problems. Its like having a box of Legos. The more Legos you have in the box, the more things you can build. A mastery is like a really vital piece for a few particular things you might build; a competency is a fairly ordinary piece, but several of those are always needed to build anything worthwhile. The more you fill up your box of Legos with competencies and masteries, the more things you can build and the more problems you can solve and the more employment opportunities you have. So, what can you practically do? The first thing you should do is figure out what competencies and masteries you do have. What does your resume look like? What skills do you list on there? What things outside of your resume are you competent at? Think of things you do in your day to day life. There may even be things outside of your employment that you could be doing to earn an income, but youve chosen a different path. For most people, that ends up being a pool of talents that they possess. They might be really specific, or they might be fairly broad its all fine. Now, consider what specific competencies or a specific mastery you could add to that pool that would make you employable in more areas or make it easier for you to start your own business or side gig. What abilities, if added to this pool, could really increase your professional opportunities? Youll probably start by looking at advancements in your current career path, but dont stop there. Consider what other career paths youre not too far from being ready for if you could just add another skill or two to your pool. For example, I moved from data mining as a career path to writing, which might seem like a huge leap, but the truth was that as a data miner, I actually did a lot of writing on a daily basis, and I had the technical skill to code a very complex data driven website on my own. I really only needed knowledge and experience in another field and some general entrepreneurial ability to set myself up to make that leap. This isnt a quick process. Its something to mull over for a period of time as you try to identify a few new things you can become competent with or master in order to really amp up your career possibilities, because thats what this is all about: Adding competencies and masteries to your set of skills not only sets you up for advancement, but it multiplies the possibilities in and out of your field. It becomes much easier to rebound when things fall apart. It becomes much easier to move into interesting opportunities that pay well. It becomes much easier to open doors that would have been closed to you. Once youve figured out a few things you can add, then its time to start building those competencies and masteries, as described earlier. Start doing. Start learning. If youre wondering, the big thing Im trying to add to my skill set right now is building towards a level of mastery (or at least strong competence) in fiction writing and adding competency in a bunch of different ideas as well as competency in self-publishing Ill let you figure out what that all means. I Dont Have Time to Do This! The reaction that most people have to these ideas is one of time. I dont have time to learn new skills! I barely have time for life as it is! Heres the thing: You can work on skills as part of your life as it is right now. Your job provides a great opportunity to learn new skills, hone them into masteries, and even sharpen the masteries you already have. Just strive to do what you do now with a higher level of excellence, or look for opportunities to learn new skills or take on new challenges. Daily life offers tons of opportunities to pick up new competencies. Start making meals every day instead of just ordering food or going to restaurants or eating convenience meals. Instead of waiting for your oil to get changed, spend that hour at home learning how to change your own oil and change your own wiper blades. Instead of calling a plumber when your toilet doesnt work, fire up a YouTube video and diagnose your toilet problem. Look for anything in your life that you pay other people to do and do it for yourself, even if it seems really hard at first. Not only are you adding new competency to your life, youre also gaining the courage to try new things. During your downtime, read challenging books on topics that you want to learn about to add to your repertoire. Spend less time on cable television and Netflix and social media and more time on really challenging books and other learning materials. Look at the things you do in your life and ask yourself how you could do them a little better or a little more efficiently. Walk through the little repeated tasks step by step and find ways to shave off a minute here or make the result a little better there. (This is an awful lot like deliberate practice.) You have the time. Its really more about using your time better. The Matter of Convenience The final issue I want to cover is the fact that many people choose to pay others to do things for them out of convenience and time saving. A particular evening might not afford the time to cook a meal, so you order takeout as youre leaving work, grab it in three minutes, and when you arrive home you pop it right on the table. You might be overwhelmed by laundry, so you just pay a service to take care of it. Theres nothing wrong with doing this, provided that the time youre saving is being used in a way thats more useful and valuable than what youre doing. If youre buying takeout so that you can sit on the couch and binge Netflix for three hours, thats not an effective use of time. If your counterargument is that youre worn out after a day of work, then you should be getting more sleep try making a meal for half an hour, watching Netflix for only an hour, getting half an hour of exercise, and getting an extra hour of sleep. Convenience tactics should only be freeing you up to do more effective things with your time (and, yes, meaningful leisure can be that more effective thing, but it needs to be meaningful and valuable, not just idle). If theyre freeing you up to be idle or to do unimportant things, then that means you need to change some other areas of your life. Final Thoughts Heres what you should take home from all of this. Being competent with a skill has a nice financial benefit if it means youre no longer paying someone to do it for you. The more skills youre competent in and the more areas of knowledge youre competent in, the less you have to pay others for services. Furthermore, the more things youre competent with, the more you have to draw on to be effective in your career and life. Honing a skill until it becomes a mastery is another great move. If you have a skill (or a small group of highly interrelated skills) thats useful enough on its own to get people to pay you for it, thats wonderful. If you surround it with other skills you have some level of mastery or competence in, youll find yourself endlessly employable and likely able to chart your own path in the world. Whats at the core of all of this? Constant self-learning and improvement. Constant building of new skills and refining old ones. Constant growth of your set of competencies and masteries. This isnt just a one day thing. This is a lifelong pattern of growth. Its all up to you. Good luck. Read more by Trent Hamm: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-value-of-competence-and-mastery/

[allofbeercom]

Beach Slang: meet the punk rockers who are ready to ‘bleed for you’

Dont be fooled by the bowties: Phillys finest might just be the most raucous band of the moment if they can hold it together

If James Alex ever gave up the day job, you suspect he could make a decent living as a motivational life coach. Barely a minute of conversation with the Beach Slang singer and guitarist goes by without him offering up a quotable nugget of existential advice: A life without regrets is not a life well lived; Theres an infinite amount of reasons to be happy to exist; Never retire from being alive! Theyre the sort of aphorisms you might see pinned up on an office noticeboard accompanied by dodgy clipart. Alex, though, really means this stuff, and he delivers it with such wide-eyed enthusiasm that, after an hour in his company, youre ready to believe it too.

Sadly for the lifestyle guru industry, Alex has chosen to use his powers of persuasion in the pursuit of punk rock, something he believes in with evangelical ardour. Rocknroll to me is holy. I want to honour it properly, he proclaims. Beach Slang are certainly living up to that aim. On record the Philadelphia band are making some of the most giddy guitar music of the moment, accompanied by live shows that are rarely less than a riot.

Perhaps Alexs zeal for punk rock is down to being afforded a second chance at practising it. He spent his 20s in a sloppy three-chord punk band called Weston but then gave up on the idea of making music for a living, went to art school and found a job in graphic design. The bug never left him, though. He spent his free time working on new music, which hed perform at open mics. When he played his songs to drummer JP Flexner, he in turn recruited bassist Ed McNulty and guitarist Ruben Gallego, and Beach Slang was born.

What followed is indicative of the strange accelerated world of the post-internet music industry. Before theyd ever done any live shows Beach Slang recorded an EP, which received a favourable review on Pitchfork and garnered buzz on social media. By the time the band got around to playing their first gig people at the show were singing every word.

In truth, Beach Slang are the kind of band you want to belt out every word to, preferably while showering yourself with a keg of beer. Their songs conjure up the sort of bratty but romantic visions of the Replacements and, latterly, the Hold Steady and Fucked Up adolescent in their outlook, conjuring up the confusion and excitement of negotiating adult life for the first time. That these songs of teenage abandon are sung by Alex, a man in his 40s, make them more rather than less affecting.

When I write I imagine that Im scoring a John Hughes film, Alex says. When youre hitting those teen years, its the first time youre tasting freedom, finding your voice, shaking things up. That doesnt stop after youre a teenager, but the thrill of that first awakening is what I tap into.

Beach Slang perform live at The First Unitarian Church in Philadelphia, December 2015. Photograph: Greg Pallante/PR

If the songs are stirring on record, live Beach Slang are something else. Alex likens the gigs to a huge drunk house party: crowd members are invited onstage to have a bash on bass, and in turn Alex spends much of the time splayed out on top of the audience. Stage curfews are ignored if not wilfully broken. At one recent gig the band played for 50 minutes and then returned for an encore. It went on for another hour and a half.

For Alex these sets of almost Springsteenian lengths are all about sending paying customers home happy. Its not a hostage situation, he laughs. But what we find is that people dont want to go home. Listen, I get the value for the money you work hard for. You go out and do the thing and you work hard and now youre spending that to come see me do the thing that I love? Im going to bleed for you.

In this Beach Slang take their cue from college rocks original hellraisers The Replacements, who wreaked their own booze-stained trail of havoc across the same venues 30 years before. To me they exemplify rock and roll, Alex explains. It felt a little dangerous, it could be a car crash or it could be brilliant, but it was never predictable.

Beach Slang perform at the Best Kept Secret Festival, Hilvarenbeek, June 2016. Photograph: Danny Payne/REX/Shutterstock

If Beach Slang have inherited the Replacements good points, theres a danger they may have also taken on some of the self-destructive spirit that resulted in that bands sorry demise. In April there were rumours that Beach Slang had split after a disastrous live show in Salt Lake City. Reports of the gig and the footage that emerged proved pretty damning. The bands usual exuberance is almost entirely lacking, with heads pointed at the floor. At the end of the set, as the rest of the band storm offstage, Alex tells the promoter to refund the audience. We were Beach Slang, he says ruefully.

Thankfully, reports of the bands demise were premature. Alex wrote a Facebook post a few days later stating that he was gigantically sorry for the performance, but denying the split rumours. If youre still in, we are, it ended. Looking back, he considers it the most cliched thing weve ever done, the result of frayed emotions at the end of a huge tour. We felt we were the Kinks for 40 minutes and we fought on stage. Since then, Flexner has left the band, but the rest of Beach Slang are powering on. Next month theyll release third album A Loud Bash Of Teenage Feelings, which Alex describes as more powerpoppy, with a Kerouac poet troubadour spirit. It will, of course, be followed by more of those house party gigs the band are known for.

Still, Alex sees the dangers of band life souring. Once it stops being fun, why are you doing it? That goes for anything I do in life. If for a season I really enjoy gardening, Im going to garden the hell out of that thing. But if next spring I go out there and its not doing it for me, Im going to stop gardening. Its the same thing as rocknroll.

For now though Alex is just happy to ride this out and see where it takes him. He switches back to motivational coach mode. I know the science is still out on this, but as far as we know we get one shot at this being alive thing. I just want to make sure that, whenever it is that my lungs start to collapse on me, I dont want to die saying I wish I wouldve… Man, I dont want to say that. Im doing what I can to not say that. If hes still in, we are.

A Loud Bash Of Teenage Feelings is out on 23 Sep; Beach Slang tour the UK from 22 Aug

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/beach-slang-meet-the-punk-rockers-who-are-ready-to-bleed-for-you/