#theres no one unaffected here but it and were like. all trying to keep our personal trauma from affecting how we care for mum
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heart rate monitor built into my watch is so helpful for the moment of like augh ifeel os bad for no reason but im not visibly injured or anything and i cannot Detect why this would be the case so i am going to file this as 'made up' and ignore until i pass out like whole situation circumvented bc i can go oh im tachy bc i stood up too fast. and sit down. and i am actually fine then instead of trying to gaslight myself into being fine
#obviously medical trauma is smth weve all been talking and thinking about a lot lately in our house#theres no one unaffected here but it and were like. all trying to keep our personal trauma from affecting how we care for mum#and oh my gaaaaaoud part of that it turns out is listening to your body and if you cant getting aids to help you learn to#ugh. LAME
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PT 2-How La Squadra react to you calling them their nickname/term of endearment:
CW: mentions of polyamory and queer relationship discrimination
Notes: Here's part 2! This was actually pretty fun! If anyone has similar HCs/reacts they would like please send them in! It was refreshing to do something fluffy-ish rather than just lewd for once! I’m still working on Sorbet and Gelatos personalities so I hope they don’t seem too generic or stereotypical, but theres not much of them to work off of…other than them screaming and dying. Yikes. But I hope you all enjoy! 💜Beryl
Risotto: “Rissi, I’m heading to the grocery store.” You announced turning the knob to his office. “ is there anything special you want for dinner tonig-oh shit” you saw he wasn’t alone. Prosciutto and Pesci were in the room with him talking about some target.
“I’m so sorry- I didn’t know you were busy- I’ll come back later.”
Prosciutto cleared his throat upon hearing that cutesy name and Pesci looked away trying to hide his blush.
“We can touch base on further details later. This should be enough to get started with.” He dismissed them, acting unaffected by the name.
They promptly took their leave, just leaving you and your beloved leader alone.
“I’m so sorry, Risotto. I didn’t know you were busy. I should’ve known bette-“ you stuttered worried you embarrassed him.
“It’s fine.” He cut you off. “It’s just the guys. They know better than to mess with me about the names you call me.” He chuckled.
“Although for future reference…” he started looking up at you with a serious expression. “This might be a habit you should break. If any of our enemies know we are connected, they might try to harm you and I just couldn’t live with myself knowing I caused your demise.” He said. “I already lost one too many people dear to me.”
You walked over to him by the desk and gave him a huge hug. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.” He hugged back and gave you a soft kiss on the shell of your ear.
“Good. Because the day you die is the day I die. I love you Angelo/a.” He sighed in relief.
This big guy has to be stoic 24/7 so in front of others he’s going to keep things professional. As far as he cares in front of the guys you can call him all the names you want but he isn’t going to acknowledge them 😂 call him zaddy and he’ll just continue talking about what mission is next… or if you’re overdoing it he’ll give you a warning “ok, that’s enough.” type of look.
Of course in private he’ll call you pet names but… he’s not very creative but he’s dramatic so he’ll call you the vita mia, cuore mio, caro/a, and angelo/a.
Prosciutto: “Prosci I’m back! The mission was a success! It’s all thanks to you that I’m able to work by myself now!” You said happily as you came through the door.
“Prosci??? Pfft” formaggio snickered.
A few of the others were snickering or trying to hold back a smile. Prosciutto put an end to this quickly with a deadly glare.
“Really? That’s wonderful news Y/N. I’m very proud of you.” He said as he guided you to somewhere a little more private.
“Y/N… I love you with all my heart but remember what we agreed upon?” He asked. “We must keep our affections private.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Prosciutto. I must have really embarrassed you.” You said dejectedly looking away from him.
“No. Never.” He said firmly as he gently lifted your face to meet his. He gently bumped his forehead up against yours.
“You are my beloved partner and I love you no matter what. But in this world we must remain distant in front of others so I can protect you.” He explained gently caressing your face .
“Also… we have to set a good example for Pesci. He may be a mammoni but he has so much potential and it’s up to us to help him unlock it. Understand?”
“Understand.” You said with a small smile.
“That’s my good angelo/a.” He smiled back and kissed you on the forehead.
He’s not very affectionate in public but he is chivalrous. He’ll open the door for you, pour your wine, take your jacket, etc…
In private he’ll call you his favorite pet names with a kiss on the cheek.
He’ll use the classic names like Tesoro, Caro/a, Bambino/a, or calls you his angelo/a. 😇
Sorbet & Gelato: “Sorby Gelly I’m upset!” You whined.
“Aww what’s wrong lil sundae?” Asked Gelato.
“You know the drill-come sit down and tell us what’s wrong.” Added Sorbet patting Gelatos lap.
You moped over and somehow found your spot in the dog pile of legs and laps on the chair.
“You know Valentines is next month and I saw this cool fancy spa I wanted us to go to-“ you started with putting the magazine page in their faces. “Seeee??? But they are all TwO pEoPlE oNlY!!! This is unfair! They act like the entire world is monogamous and straight! Bullshit!” you complained.
“Oh, that does look nice. I could use a massage, my back has been killing me lately.” Sorbet read through the page.
“Mud baths and facials too? I’m in.” Gelato looked at the pictures.
“But what about the restrictions?” you asked.
“Oh Y/N. Do you have any idea who you’re in a relationship with? We’ll get you that perfect valentine's day, whether they want to serve 3 people or not.” Gelato cooed, patting your head to comfort you.
“Of course they’ll take care of us…if they wanna live that is.” Sorbet added rubbing your back. “Or we could show them our knife collection instead. Their choice.”
“Yay~! I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to add a reminder to my calendar to make a reservation for later.” you said gleefully.
“Anything to keep our little sundae happy~.” they both said in unison and kissed you on both sides of your cheeks.
“...” Illuso gulped trying to hold back the bile rising in his throat. The PDA is just overwhelming!
The other men in the room wanted to throw up from the mushiness. It's gotten worse ever since they added you into their relationship but they know better than to say anything after Illuso made fun of you three and ended up with a knife in his thigh.
Sorbet and Gelato are the kings of PDA! They are always cuddled up on one another and now you’re included on the love fest. They are gonna sit on your lap, you're gonna sit in their lap, you're gonna sit on one's lap while the other sits on your lap, etc. And they’re generous with the pet names as well!
They both like names that match up with their names, so you get named after frozen treats like Sundae, Granita, Sherbet, Snowcone…along with the typical names like caro/a, tersoro, and amore too. They have a long list of names to call you, so it doesn’t simply end there!
#jjba#la squadra#jjba part 5#jjba x reader#la squadra x reader#minors dni#la squadra esecuzioni#jjba risotto x reader#jjba prosciutto x reader#jjba sorbet#jjba gelato#jojo risotto x reader#jojo prosciutto x reader#jojo sorbet#jojo gelato
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dark (part two)
this is a continuation of dark, which you can read here
after the break in, you try to put on your brave face, but you’re not as unaffected as you pretend to be
word count: 4.6k
warnings/tags: dark themes
feel free to send in requests! and check out my masterlist if you wanna :)
Nothing felt worse than overstaying your welcome, and although he would never say anything, you felt bad for taking up so much of Nick’s space in his already small apartment. So, you finally put your foot down on the third night in the twin bed, sitting up to look at Grayson as he laid against the pillows.
“We’re going back tomorrow. We aren’t gonna just hide out here.”
“Are you ready to go back?” There was no pity in his tone, just sincere concern as he rested his hand on your hip, rubbing circles. He was constantly touching you now, a reassurance for him more than for you.
“No, but we don’t really have a choice do we?” You let out a dry laugh, resisting the urge to scratch at the scab on your neck. It was still a bit tender, but you’d refused the bandage - it just made it more noticeable, put you on edge.
“Of course we do. We aren’t going back until you’re 100% ready. I mean that.”
“Grayson. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be 100% ready,” you admitted, hating that you sounded a bit weak, a bit scared. You’d never admit anything like that to anyone but Grayson, and you watched carefully to see how he was going to take it. It was like clicking through pictures on a ViewMaster, each one changing rapidly before your eyes - sadness, anger, fear, uncertainty. It was killing him to see you, his strong girl, feeling fragile.
“Hey. C’mere.” He didn’t wait for you, instead just pulled you tightly against his chest, knowing that at least if you were in his arms he could keep you safe. “We’ll rent a different house or something. Hell, I’ll buy a new house, sell the one we have.”
“Don’t be dramatic,” you joked, but even in the darkness of the room you could tell there was nothing humorous about it to him. His arms only tightened.
“I’m not being dramatic. I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make you feel safe again, and if that’s what I have to do then that’s what I’ll do.”
And Grayson was a man of his word.
It was mostly subtle things, and nothing out of the ordinary. Grayson was a protective man after all, and always had been, even in the first days of your relationship. But now, it was just that tiny bit more noticeable. Instead of resting his hand on the small of your back when you walked to the car the next morning, he held onto your hip, pressed you up against his side until you were safe in the passenger seat. He kept a hand on your thigh in the car, too focused on making sure you were okay to even listen to the music he put on. He put smooth cat on autopilot, knowing he was too focused on you to react quickly if he needed to.
You liked to think that you kept it together well, that you didn’t let any of the panic show. The tightening of your stomach as you got off the interstate, the quickening flutter of your heart when the tesla made the turn onto their street. But it was harder to hide your breathing when the gates came into view, the gates that used to make you feel so safe and secure. Grayson stopped at the end of the driveway, pulling his phone out and calling Ethan.
“Yo. We’re here, can you unlock the gates?” A beat of silence. “Yeah, yeah we’re good. See you in a minute.”
It took a moment before the gates swung open, revealing the rest of the driveway and the house. It looked less intimidating in the daylight despite the dark exterior, and you forced a deep breath in and out of your lungs. You’re safe. Grayson’s right here, he’s safe. You’re okay. The little mantra played in your head as you willed yourself to pull it together, to keep your chin high as he put the car in park. Just breathe in, and breathe out. That’s all you had to do.
Everything looked the same - the pull up rings were still hanging from the tree at the side of the yard, the tiny shed still stood beautiful and warm. It was Grayson’s house, your house, and you weren’t going to someone take that from you. It was a bit easier to breathe when Ethan appeared outside the front door, smile wide and welcoming. You realized how much you’d missed him, and you clung to that feeling, focused in on it instead of the daunting task of going back in the house.
Grayson was two steps behind you as you got out of the car, heading up the sidewalk before you could overthink it, eyes on Ethan.
You weren’t sure how his hugs were so different than Grayson’s but they were. A different comfort came over you when he wrapped you up - not better, just different.
“Missed you bub, how’re you feeling?”
You weren’t sure how to answer such a loaded question, so you gave him a simple “I’m okay. I missed you too” and he let it slide instead of prying like he usually would.
You breathed him in and settled yourself before he moved on to Grayson, pulling him into a hug that you knew was probably going to last a moment. You reached for the door, surprised when it held firm in the frame. Ethan had just come outside, it shouldn’t be locked, but you dug around your purse for your key anyways.
“Oh, we changed the locks, here I’ll get it.” Ethan perked up, pulling out his phone. He pressed a few things on his screen and held his finger down before you heard the click that signified the door had unlocked. “I’ll show you all, c’mon.”
Your feet didn’t move until you felt Grayson next to you, tall and strong and stable. He laced his fingers with yours quickly, squeezing three times like he always did - a small reassurance that he was there. You resisted the urge to close your eyes, to turn around and run back to the car. Instead, you looked over at Grayson, anchoring yourself to him as best you could before you finally walked inside.
It didn’t look any different, but it felt different. The vinyls and play button had been placed back on their shelves, the blanket Ethan always used and never folded was piled up on the couch like always instead of folded in the basket. It smelled like the new wakeheart candles, a mixture because they could never decide which one to burn.
“You okay?” Grayson’s voice was in your ear, low and warm as he moved his hand from yours and wrapped it around your waist. Being held up against him soothed you more than you realized and you were grateful to have the pressure to anchor you, especially as you realized where Ethan had settled.
The kitchen.
You’d thought coming back in the day would make it easier, but the light from the windows did no good. As soon as you rounded the corner you could see it perfectly, see where you’d been standing, where he’d been standing, feel his arm holding you captive, the knife on your throat. Your eyes flickered to the counter, relieved to see that someone had thought to put the knife block away for your sake.
Grayson reacted to you as you reacted to the room, immediately moving in front of you, blocking your view of anything but him. You shifted your focus to his face, tracing your gaze over all those familiar features - the spot in his eyes where the green shifted to brown, the scar on his chin, the stubble on his cheeks. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Hey, you’re okay. We don’t have to do this in here, not today.”
He took your silence as an answer, turning and moving down the hallway to the podcast studio, Ethan getting up to follow. There was something soothing about the stillness of the studio when you all made it in and closed the door - no sound getting in, no extra light. Contained... controllable.
It gave you the stability you needed to find your voice.
“We changed the locks. So that means he got in through the door?” You looked at Ethan, who was sitting on the table facing you and Grayson on the couch, knowing he would have gotten the full story from the detectives. It was in his personality to know every detail when something went wrong.
“Yeah. He paid off one of our construction guys to steal a key and make him a copy, told him he’d give him a cut after he sold everything he was gonna steal. He snuck over the fence in the back, so we added to that, made it taller and put a sensor there. And now the locks are only openable by our phones, and our fingerprints. Here, you can look.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and pulling up the app. You scrolled through as he kept explaining, noticing all the different options and settings.
“So we can arm any door or window from the app now, and unlock or lock the doors. They’re all electric now, but we can also make it where it requires a key if we want. And you have to put your fingerprint in, so even if someone gets a hold of your phone they can’t access the house. We added more cameras outside too, and theres an option to upgrade and do in house cameras as well, but I wanted to see how you guys felt about that.”
“Thats up to Y/N,” Grayson said, pulling you out of your head a bit as you looked up from the phone.
“Why is it up to me?”
“If it’ll make you feel safer then we’ll do it. I mean, we haven’t done in house cameras before because people can hack that shit, but if it’ll make you feel better we’ll do it.”
You weren’t sure if it was the stress you were under or his casual tone, but his words rubbed you the wrong way for the first time since everything had happened.
“Look, I know that I’m the one with the cut on my throat.” Grayson flinched at your words, hand tightening on your thigh. “But this dude broke into your house.”
“Our house,” Ethan corrected. He never wanted you to feel like it was any less your house than his or Graysons despite the fact that you hadn’t paid for any of it.
“Okay our house. Still, I’m not the only one in this equation. This is a group thing.”
“A family thing,” Grayson mused, any annoyance you had with him fading away at his sweet words.
“A family thing. Which means it needs to be a family decision. And yeah, out of the three of us I’m probably gonna have the hardest time with everything because.... well, because.” You didn’t have to go into detail - just the way that their shoulders tightened told you that they were seeing the same thing in their head. “But I want you guys to feel safe too. Cause it could have been either of you. And the thought of it happening to you guys scares me just as much as the idea of it happening to me again. Hell, it scares me more.” You couldn’t dwell on that, just the brief thought of either of them in danger making your heart skip.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Ethan reached out a hand for yours and you took it, watching as he linked up with Grayson’s left, and when your hand found Grayson’s right you sighed, squeezing both of them as the tears started to prickle.
“We’re gonna take care of each other. Like always. Like family. Whatever we gotta do. Yeah?” Grayson was sniffling too though he tried to hide it with a smile at the end. His lip quivered anyways.
“Yeah. Always. Group hug?” Ethan spoke up.
You nodded, and the twins stood up in sync, you one beat behind before the three of you stepped together and hugged. You were a bit dwarfed by both of them, tall and broad, but the way they held you to them made you feel safer than you had since you entered the house.
“I vote no to the cameras by the way,” Ethan said over your head after a moment. You all leaned back so you could see each other, still holding on.
“I know I’m gonna hit the wrong thing and pick the wrong camera at the wrong time. It’s just my luck bro. Seriously.”
The mental image of you and Grayson in a compromising position on Ethan’s tiny screen was probably the only thing that could have gotten a true laugh out of you, and you were happy that it did. It cut the unintentional tension in a way that only Ethan could. The three of you squeezed together again before you let go, though Grayson’s hand stayed on your back.
“Okay, enough with the heavy. I’m hungry, but the kitchen is obviously a no go for mwah so... Monty’s?”
“Hell yeah, I’m driving, since you all jacked my car for three days.”
“You told us to take it!” Grayson argued.
“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss her,” he countered, pulling the door of the studio open and leading the way out.
You were able to keep your mind off of everything for the most part once you were back outside and in the tesla. You got Monty’s to go and ate in the parking lot, caught up on everything regarding the candle launch prep and the podcast between bites of fries and sips of milkshakes.
You’d hoped the dread wouldn’t come back when you made it home, but alas, the pit returned to your stomach at the movement of the gates. Breathe in. Breathe out.
The sun was setting over the house. Most days it would be beautiful. You’d probably pull your phone out, run around to the back yard to get a better picture, maybe even have Grayson boost you up onto the roof.
But not that night.
Now, it was just a reminder that darkness was coming, and you were going to have to face the house again. The front door seemed to mock you after it closed behind Ethan as you stood frozen in the driveway. It was staring you down, daring you to try it again, to see if you could keep it together better than you had earlier.
“We can go somewhere else. We don’t have to sleep here tonight.” Grayson’s voice was low enough that Ethan couldn’t hear. “We can go to Ryan’s.”
“Coop is there, you’d die in your sleep,” you countered, accidentally admitting you’d already considered it.
“I have my inhaler, I’d manage. Or we can go to Ster’s.”
“We’re sleeping here. I have to get over it.”
“Woah, hey,” he turned you by your hip, a mixture of disbelief and anger in his eyes. “None of that. Don’t put that pressure on yourself.”
“I just mean that I can’t keep avoiding it. I gotta at least try to do it. I love this place, I don’t wanna be scared of it.”
He searched your face, looked for anything he could read. You weren’t sure what he was looking for, but you just focused in on his features again. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Okay. But you have to promise me that you’ll tell me if it’s too much. Even if it’s just a little bit too much. Okay? You promise?”
“Yeah. I promise.”
“Okay. Then we’ll try.” It caught you a bit by surprise when he leaned down to kiss you, hand coming up to your jaw. You knew his fingers grazed over your cut, knew he felt it, pretended like he didn’t. You pretended too. “I’m proud of you. My strong girl.”
You wanted to deflect it, make a joke about how he was definitely stronger even though you knew that wasn’t what he meant. Anything to keep your heart from swelling up, overwhelmed as it usually was by the fact that he loved you as much as he did, somehow. Instead you just wrapped your arms around his waist and let him guide you back into the house.
“Let me set up your alls phones before we go to bed, so you can do shit in the morning if you want,” Ethan said from the kitchen when you appeared. You handed your phone over, let him do what he wanted as you tried to process everything in the kitchen.
The spot two steps to the left of the sink was where he’d trapped you. But it was also where you had tried Grayson’s french toast for the first time, watched his face light up when you told him it was perfect. The spot on the counter where the knife block was supposed to sit used to be where the speaker sat, the source of so many late night ice cream dance party nights, the background noise to the tiger cub wrestling matches the boys sometimes had. You focused on those memories, hoping they’d override the most recent, the persistent one that kept nagging at the edge of your mind as you fought against it.
Ethan passed your phone back after a minute, moving on to Grayson’s. You fiddled with the settings, glad to see that you could check any of the outside cameras that you wanted to. You could arm and unarm the door, see the last time it had been opened and by who. It was a complex system, and you didn’t even want to think about how much it cost - you knew Grayson would say it didn’t matter anyways.
Once Grayson’s phone was done you gave Ethan a final goodnight hug before the two of you headed towards your room. You held your breath a bit when you went around the corner - an unconscious habit that would unfortunately stick around for almost a year. You kept your hands at your sides as you walked, not wanting to touch the wall like you had that night, not knowing if it would cause a reaction in you or not.
Getting to the bedroom made you breathe a bit easier. The bed was made, but definitely by Ethan considering the pillows were on the wrong side. You still smiled at the gesture, knowing he’d come in and made it welcoming for you to come back to. But seeing the window above the bed, the closet doors, the general lack of light - so many places for someone to hide, to sneak up on you, to wait for when you aren’t looking. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
“Do you wanna shower? I know you said that shampoo at Nick’s was weird, it might feel good to use your own stuff,” Gray offered, obviously seeing that you weren’t sure what to do.
“Yeah. Yeah that’s probably a good idea.”
You moved to the drawers, grabbing a pair of underwear and one of Grayson’s shirts before you headed towards the bathroom.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, no it’s okay. I got it,” you answered on instinct. Surely, surely you could handle showering by yourself.
“Oh. Okay.” The worry in his voice rang like a bell, and you frowned.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I just... can you leave the door open? Don’t like you being where I can’t see you right now.” It was his turn to be a bit shy. Grayson never liked acting like he needed help, never liked admitting that he had a weakness. You were alike in that way. The fact that he even said anything made you want to melt into a puddle.
“Of course I can baby. I’ll be quick.”
“I’m gonna get some work done, just yell if you need me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” You leaned over on the bed, giving him a quick kiss before you went into the bathroom, having to stop yourself from closing the door. Grayson’s new bathroom was very aesthetically pleasing, with the dark green tiles and the marble fixtures. It was cozy enough, and you’d been in it enough times that you felt comfortable there as you brushed your hair.
Grayson’s eyes flickered away from his laptop when you stripped down, watching until you got under the stream of water in the shower. He cursed himself for getting the tempered glass that you couldn’t see more than an outline through.
You’d been in that shower so many times, but something about this time just felt... off. You couldn’t place it - maybe you felt exposed because you were naked, or claustrophobic because of being closed in. You tried to swallow it down, ignore it, distract yourself by starting your usual routine, lathering up your hair with shampoo. Still, your heartbeat sped up, thundering in your chest, so loud it was in your ears.
You’re safe. Grayson’s right here, he’s safe. You’re okay.
You’re safe. Grayson’s right here, he’s safe. You’re okay.
You’re safe. Grayson’s right here, he’s safe. You’re okay.
But Grayson wasn’t right there, he was too far away, out of your sight. He could be in trouble, he could be in danger, you’d had no idea that there had been a man in the house before, who was to say there wasn’t another one now?
You couldn’t catch your breath, couldn’t focus, couldn’t move as everything started to close in around you.
“Gra- Grayson!” You yelled it, probably louder than you needed to.
The only time Grayson had ever heard you sound like that was a few nights ago, and his blood ran cold.
“Y/N? Baby?!” He was on his feet, laptop thrown to the side without a care as he ran into the bathroom, throwing the shower door open.
The panic in your eyes was blatant, naked chest heaving as you tried to breathe. And then he as in the water with you, holding onto you.
“Shh, shh shh shh I’m here, I’m here, you’re okay.” He reached past you, turned the water off to quiet everything down as he pulled you to his chest. You clung to his now soaked t-shirt, unable to form any words.
“You’re safe, nobody is gonna hurt us, I’ve got you. Just breathe with me angel, just breathe.” You heard his words through one ear, but the vibration of his chest in the other was more soothing than anything he could say. Just knowing he was there and safe helped you to fill your lungs again little by little, each breath getting deeper, slower as he held you, rested his cheek on your shampoo covered head, let you get yourself calmed down.
It wasn’t the first time he’d seen you panic, so he knew that letting go of you wasn’t going to help anything. So when he shifted and you clung to him on instinct he immediately moved to reassurances.
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here. Let’s get your hair washed out and get you dried off, you’re shivering. I’m staying, I’m not going anywhere.”
You nodded against him, let him reach around you and turn the water back on. It was cold at first, making you jump until the hot water caught up and rained down over you again.
“You’re gonna get all wet,” you mumbled, looking down at his soaked sweatpants.
“That’s why we have a dryer. Lean your head back, I gotcha.”
You did as he asked, focusing in on the feeling of his hands on your scalp to avoid the uncomfort of having to close your eyes. He did it as quickly as he could, running his hands through the way he’d seen his mom do so many times, making sure he got all the suds out before he was reaching for the handle again and turning it off.
“Hang on just a sec.” He moved quickly to shed off all his wet clothes, leaving them in a pile in the corner of the shower to be taken care of later - his only concern was you. You let him lead you through the motions, from stepping out of the shower to drying off, stepping into your undies and pulling his shirt over your head. For once, it didn’t effect you that he was fully naked in front of you - you were too distracted, too overwhelmed by everything he was doing for you, the way he took care of you like it was his favorite thing to do. If you asked him, he would say that it was.
Eventually he moved the two of you into the bedroom, grabbing a towel on the way out so he could dry himself the rest of the way off and pull on a pair of clean boxers. He looked at you for a moment, and then he shook his head.
“We’re not sleeping in here tonight.”
“Grayson-”
“We can stay in the house, but we can’t sleep in here yet. I can’t sleep in here yet, so I know you aren’t going to sleep either. But I have an idea. Do you trust me?”
You nodded, secretly relieved at the thought of not having to sleep in the bed.
“Okay, grab the pillows, and I’ll get the comforter,” he instructed. You did as he asked, waiting for him to get situated and take your hand before he led you out of the room. You still held your breath when you went around the corner, letting it out when you saw that no one was there.
He turned into the pod studio, letting you in first before he closed the door behind him. It was silent, but in a comforting way, everything but Grayson muffled.
“I don’t know if this is gonna work, but I felt good in here earlier. Safe. So I think we should give it a shot in here tonight. Whadda you think?”
“I feel safe in here too,” you murmured as an acceptance, and at your word he got to work. You expected him to move over to the couch but instead he put the comforter down on the rug on the floor. You followed his lead and moved the pillows to the top of it, waiting.
Finally, he laid down at around the midway mark of the width and reached up for you to join him. Putting your confusion aside you crawled down to him and curled up against his chest, unwilling to put even an inch between you if you didn’t have to. His plan came together when he threw the extra half of the comforter over the top of you both, creating a bit of a cocoon. Any other night, you would have been worried about sleeping on the hard floor, or getting too hot. But not that night. That night it was exactly what you needed. Just you and him, safe and warm and together.
“I’m sorry about earlier, I don’t know what caused that,” you mumbled, tracing patterns over his heart, a few 47s, a few shapes.
“You know you don’t have to apologize to me. For anything.”
“You don’t like to see me upset,” you countered.
“Of course I don’t. Would be kinda fucked up if I did. But if you need me, I’m gonna be there. Even if it’s just to help you wash out your hair,” he teased, resting his cheek on your forehead.
“Your ‘strong girl’ who can’t even get through a solo shower,” you scoffed, poking fun at yourself.
“Always my strong girl, no matter what. But strongest when she admits she needs help.”
You couldn’t find the words to answer, and he didn’t ask for them. Instead, he just kissed your forehead, a silent promise to keep you safe through the night, and every night after that.
#I wrote 98% of this today WHAT#but here she is :')#i hope you like!!#lynds writes#grayson dolan fic#grayson dolan#grayson dolan fanfiction#grayson dolan imagine#dolan twins fanfiction#dolan twins#dolan twins imagine
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Tma season 2 notes baybeee
I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.
ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one
ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon
ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.
ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!
ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!
ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr
ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.
Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.
ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body
ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao
ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim
ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.
ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before
ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay
ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?
ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!
ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please
ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1
ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.
ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.
ep 60: the eye go brr
ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires
ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?
ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.
ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him
ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.
So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.
Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye
ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?
ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.
ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.
ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.
ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.
ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)
ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!
ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?
ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.
ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.
ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.
ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?
ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.
ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.
ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.
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Until My Heart Stops Racing
Pairing: Mitch x Mike (or Bitch as I like to call them, ya know cause Believe x Mitch.....nvm lol)
Fandom: The Powerpuff Girls
Note: This was a commission for the wonderful @lisathefan who gave me the cutest prompt and I know she loves her crack ships. I hope you enjoy my dear and thanks to my beta, Faxx for helping me!
Word count: 5538
---
The car whipped into the parking space, dirt flying around us and I felt my heart rate finally go back to its normal beating. I looked over to Butch who had a goofy grin and ignoring everything he just did.
“Butch your driving is terrible. Now I get why you fly everywhere.” I groaned as I finally got out of the car. “I swear if Brick saw how you drove this thing... actually I don’t want to think about it.” I thought that speeding was illegal but apparently if the cops can’t even see your car, it's a free pass. And being in touch with the puffs might be a bonus we all have.
Butch let out a laugh before locking the car. “Relaxe Mike, what Brick doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He shrugged and sometimes I wondered how he could even say that. Brick could kill someone with just a glance but when you are a superhuman, and his brother, maybe the effect doesn’t work.
Maybe I should ask Blossom about that.
The beeping of other cars brought me out of my trance as I followed him on the dirt path.
“Anyways, why did you drag me all the way out here?” I turned to see the lights and the signs. “The fair?”
In front of me was the entrance to what could only be deemed as a somehow legal way to make people shell out three hundred dollars on cheap food and even cheaper ride systems. Every kid wanted to go to the fair and, yeah, it was fun when you were five, but now that we had just graduated high school, it seemed more dangerous than fun.
“Yeah, why not?”
I glanced at him and he only smiled widely but something in his eyes had mischief written all over it. “What's the deal?”
He sighed and smirked.
“A little birdy told me you got heart eyes for a certain someone.” Butch threw his arm around my shoulder. “And as the king of romance, I’m gonna help you out.”
Theres always a small tinge of fear whenever Butch gets an idea. It either ends badly where someone gets hurt, usually him or bad in the way that we all get in trouble and the notorious Powerpuff Girls have to get us out of it. But this...this was much worse.
“Butch, what did you do?” I said through gritted teeth. He only laughed at me instead of answering and pushed up towards the gates.
“Relax. Look they are here.” He pointed.
I followed his sight and walking up towards us was Buttercup, Robin and Mitch. Butch let out another laugh, probably because he could hear my heartbeat. Fuck superhearing. Of course Robin opened her mouth. You tell a girl while you’re throwing up that you have the biggest crush on your best friend who wears dark leather, has piercings and makes your heart swoon and think that she can keep her mouth shut. But no, she can’t.
“Hey guys.” Butch waves to him before leaving me to wrap his arms around Buttercup and ignore the public by kissing her square on the lips. PDA is always gross unless you’re the one doing it, so I can’t blame them. Also it's funny to watch her smack his arm.
“Sup Mikey.” Robin smiles smugly. Little demon.
“Hey. Hi Mitch.” He gives me a wave and a nod of the head and I have to mentally tell myself not to blush. Stupid hormons.
“Come on you two.” Robin says and grabs my arm and Mitch’s and forces us towards the carnival’s entrance. “Lets go!”
One of the perks to being besties with the puffs is the mass amount of freebies. Buttercup swiftly pulled out a ticket for each of us and handed it to the ticket collector.
“Sweet, free entrance.” Mitch smiled at me and held up his hand for a fist bump.
I gladly returned the gesture and every time I did so, I wondered if he could feel the electric spark between us. God, I need to stop reading romance novels.
“Alright losers. We’ll see you all later tonight, meet up for fireworks at 9?” Buttercup said and apparently everyone already had a plan that I was not aware of.
“Sounds good to me!” Butch smirked. “BC and I are going to do coupley stuff no one wants to see and Robin said something about henna soooooo.” He looked at me. “Guess Mitchy boy and Mikey are on their own.” I didn’t miss his wink and before I could protest, everyone was walking away.
My mind was now racing as I tried to comprehend what was happening. I realized in this moment that the group had ganged up on us, well specifically me. Mitch probably didn’t even think twice as the group broke up but they were out of their minds if they thought something was going to happen.
“Wanna hit the rides?” He asked.
I take a breath before nodding. We turn into the direction of the ride area and I have to remind myself that he is just a friend. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I usually have my emotions in check but for some reason, they want to act up now. All I have to do is get through tonight without embarrassing myself or giving Butch the satisfation of him being the king of romance. As if that were possible.
The area is buzzing with so much energy. There’s little kids whining and screams coming from the various rides. The smells of corn dogs, popcorn and, oddly enough, waffles mixed in the air and I can’t tell if it smells good or not but I know my pockets are gonna be much lighter by the end of the night.
We get into the shortest line for the tickets and it's truly a scam that each ride is a separate cost.
“I don’t feel like dying tonight so I think two rides is good for me.” Mitch says and I laugh a little because it's true. Just watching the swings makes me feel like one of them unhinge and plummet to the ground but that's what I get for being a paranoid person.
“I feel you. How about the rollercoaster and ummm... the spinning ride?” I suggest.
“Sounds good to me.” He smiles and god fucking dammit, those damn dimples.
The line moves as we chat about the newest horror movie coming into theaters and how Mitch saw a certain pair of redheads making out in a car.
“Wait for real?”
“I swear to god dude.” He raised his hand. “Unless some other chick wears a big ass bow, it has to be them.”
“Interesting.” I smile and soon we get called next.
“Hi there boys, how many tickets can I get ya?” the older woman asks.
“Ten.” Mitch says and I reach into my pocket to grab my wallet, that may or may not have a photo of all of our friends and definitely not for the reason that I can see his face at any given time, but Mitch stops me and places the cash in the tin. “I got it.” he says casually and something inside me felt all warm and fuzzy as the row of blue tickets was handed to him.
“Have a nice date night.” The woman says as we walk away and I almost do a double take thinking I heard her wrong. But when I look over to Mitch, he seems unaffected by the words so I just let it slide.
The rollercoaster isn’t as grand or cool as the ones at the theme park, it doesn’t even go upside down but it has a good bit of hills and bumps to give some air time so i guess it will do. The only problem is that these workers don’t care and make Mitch and I sit in the same cart as these two younger kids.
After we get the bars onto us, the ride starts to go. In front of us the girl grabs the boy's arm and I give a small eye roll as we start to climb the lift hill.
“Babe I'm scared.” She cries and he wraps an arm around her shoulders and I’ve never been so jealous of middle schoolers before.
“These carts are so damn small.” Mitch complains. And it's true. The two of us squished in this together leaves no space for our arms. The pressure of our shoulders touching isn’t too bad but it's to the point it almost hurts. “Hold on.” He says and I feel him pull his right arm away from mine and throw it behind us. “Sorry this is better.”
“No, it's cool bro.” I say even though I realize that this boy really just made it ten times harder to breath now.
I can barely grasp my surroundings as the rollercoaster takes its first turn before the drop. I can see the ending of the track as we go down but the only thing my brain is processing is the fingers tightening on my shoulder.
“Holy shit.” I mumble hoping that Mitch doesn’t know how he's affecting me.
We let out screams and shouts as we go up and down, flying around on the track and I try to enjoy myself, I really do. Before long, it's over and Mitch reaches his hand out to help me up and I take it with silence.
“That was fun.” He smiles and I am really happy he ignored his moms protests and got that lip piercing. It suits him.
“Yeah.” Is all I can muster and he gives me a look before walking towards the next ride.
Luckily as we enter this ride, there’s more room. Only our knees touch as we buckle in the seatbelt and I feel myself being able to breathe better.
“Good thing we didn’t eat before getting on here.” I laugh as the lights start to flash.
He snorts and nods. “Robin would have blown chunks either way.”
The ride is a simple circular track with small hills. All it does is follow the path and goes around pretty fast. Simple but a classic. The music begins and soon we feel the cart shift. I'm sitting on the right while Mitch is on the left, next to the exit and he wiggles off his black beanie just for good measure. His light brown hair, slightly damaged from dying it black back in freshman year, is ruffled from hat hair and my god is it cute.
“Fucking love this ride.” Mitch smiles and it begins to pick up the pace.
Soon, we are at full speed, which is fine. Perfectly fine. Except for the fact that the gravity from the ride is pulling me towards Mitch and no matter how tight I hold on, I end up smacked against him. Shoulders touching and I can clearly smell his cologne. It's the scent of sandalwood and campfire and my god does it smell heavenly. Men just smell like nature and I am more than okay with that.
But Mitch doesn’t mind, because why would he? Instead he's laughing and truly enjoying the ride. I smile and laugh too because honestly, it's just fun to spend time with him. The ride is over faster than I wanted and we hop off, slightly dizzy and I walk a little out of line but he catches my arm and pulls me to him.
“Easy dude.” He chuckles and I nudge him playfully and ruffle his hair before he plops on his beanie. Goodbye cute hat hair.
All of a sudden, my shoulder is hit. It was a pretty hard smack and my body jolted to the side as Mitch grabbed me from falling.
“Look a bunch of homos.” I look up and realize that it's some assholes from our school.
Duke Jones and Mark Dalton. Some of the few people who actually try to be douchebags on the regular.
My eyes do heavy eye rolls and I want to scream at them but I've never been a confronting person. My voice is in my throat but Mitch takes a step forward, his hand never leaving my arm.
“And what of it? Really dudes? You think some lame insult is gonna hurt our feelings. You’re lucky I don’t just kick your ass, better enough I can call Buttercup in a second and have your bodies all the way across this place. Grow the fuck up and maybe don’t choke on your toxic masculanity.” He sneered and sometimes I forget that Mitch can be pretty intimidating.
Their eyes widened as Mitch pulled out his phone to show BC’s number. They mutter something before turning and rushing off in a hurry.
“You okay?” He asks me.
“Yeah.” I say. “Sorry you got caught in that.”
“It's not a big deal.”
But it is. It's not a secret that I'm out and proud. Yeah its cool and all to not have to be closeted, even Princess came out last year so its nice to know that someone higher up won’t pick on me, but even then, it sucks. No matter where I go in life, someone will be there with a flame thrower of slurs or anger for something I didn’t choose. As for Mitch, theres something about him being called gay and him not having a hissy fit about it that makes me feel safe. Uhh fuck.
I take a second to recollect myself and Mitch just pulls me from the herds of eyes that saw that fiasco.
“Lets go here.” He points to the hall of mirrors and for some reason it's beginning to get extremely hard to be around him.
But I take a deep breath and push those feelings to the side once again.
--
The hall of mirrors was by far the lamest thing the fair could have done. Sure, as a little kid it was cool and slightly scary but now, all of our heads could see just above the tips of the mirrors making it lose the effect. It probably would have been more fun if the others were there. Butch would hide behind the mirros trying to scare us before Buttercup sent some lasers his way causing them to bounce everywhere and making us duck and cover. Good times. However, it was just Mitch and me.
While Mitch was walking, I couldn’t stop thinking about those jerks just now. Of course everyone already knew about my preference but Mitch seemed unbothered by being referred to as gay. Probably because he's not some asshole that thinks it's a bad thing, I mean if he did, why would he be friends with me for all this time? He’s just a good person, that's all.
Not to sound like the coming of age kid, but I knew I was into dudes before I could comprehend the idea of love or romance, I just thought they were pretty to look at. Moving to a new city at such a young age was hard for me, not to mention the whole invisible friend that tried to kill everyone. But after everything was said and done, I did in fact make some friends.
The famous superheroes had become my pals and when Buttercup introduced me to Mitch, I think that's when it all went downhill. We became the dynamic duo and everyone always paired us as the best friends, which is true but...it makes me feel guilty.
He turned a corner and I stopped walking. All of a sudden I was lost and staring at a mirror. Just me in my beat up sneakers and the uncertain face I seem to be wearing a lot lately. There's always a time in your life where you stop and contemplate everything, question all your decisions and how nothing truly matters.
“Hey you stopped walking?” Mitch said to me and I looked at him with a shaky smile.
“Sorry. Lost in thought I guess.”
“Care to share?” He asked and leaned against one of the mirrors.
I laughed to myself thinking about what I could possibly say. “Yeah sure Mitch, why don’t I just tell you that I’m in love with you and how it pains me to wake up to know that you will only see me as just a friend. Why don’t I just rip out my heart and put it on a silver platter for you to squash or just confess and kiss you here, ignoring all the states and hopefully pissing off some people?”
“...What?”
My eyes shot open and my eyes met his. He looked at me with confusion and shock. His mouth hung open slightly and it took me a solid three seconds to relaize that my dumb ass had just blurted that all out.
Panic. That's all I could feel as he stared like a deer caught in headlights. I could feel myself on the verge of tears and suddenly the air was too thick as I turned and ran, not caring about the employee telling me I was going the wrong way.
Mitch’s voice echoed behind me but I couldn’t stand to turn and look towards him. To hear the pure rejection and probably the disgust. Throwing away years of friendship for some stupid feelings? What was I thinking?
After nearly hitting my head several times, I made it out and ignored the weird stares and glances people were giving me. All I wanted to do was find Butch and get out of here and hope that I can just pack up and move away for college. Maybe even change my name.
Instead I found myself pushing my way into the bathroom stall and biting my arm to stifle my sobs. I felt like my heart was about to shatter, that all my nightmares where coming true all thanks to my stupid mouth. I was a fool to think that someone like him would even consider me as something more, a complete and utter fool.
“Mike?” A voice called and of course the sneakers peaking outside the stall belonged to Butch.
“What?” I spat bitterly. “Go away.”
I barely heard his sigh. “Dude, I don’t know what happened but suddenly Buttercup saw you burst into here. Really dude, is everything fine? At least come out and talk to us. Plus it smells really bad in here and there's a line of dudes.”
There's some truth to the matter and I wiped my face and pushed open the stall with a little too much force but luckily he grabbed it and just nodded towards the exit.
Robin and Buttercup are standing outside and luckily, I don’t see Mitch.
“Wanna explain what happened?” Robin asks as she hands me a tissue from her purse.
“No. I just wanna go home.”
Buttercup looks arounds then back to me. “Where's Mitch.”
“Probably somewhere and never wants to see me again.” I mumble.
“What?” She asks and looks towards Butch then back to me.
Butch raised his brow. “Mike, did you tell him?”
“Tell him what?” Buttercup asked.
It was at that moment that Buttercup didn’t know that I was practically in love with her best friend. Maybe Robin and Butch planned this together but it didn’t matter, not anymore. I would be losing two friends after this. Great.
“Look. It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way.” My throat is dry and it hurts and there's no doubt that my face is red and flushed with tears. “I'm just gonna call my mom to come get me.”
“Come on Mike don’t go.” Robin asked and she padded my arm.
“You don’t get it, Robin.” I spat. “You don’t understand what I just did. Thanks to someone’s dumb idea, I now lost my best friend. And for what? Did we really think he would like me back? That he could even see me in such a way? I don’t even know if he’s gay or let alone into dudes. But who gives fuck? I don’t.”
Butch took a step towards me but my anger only rose. “C’mon Mike I'm sure-”
“This was a stupid idea Butch!” I yelled and at that moment I didn’t care what anyone thought. I was embarrassed and hurt. “I just want to be alone.” I pushed past him and the others, ignoring everything they were saying because it didn’t matter any more.
It didn’t matter that my friends tried to help something that shouldn’t have even been considered. It was just a stupid crush. Nothing more, nothing less. Hopefully by the new semester, it would be gone and out of my system…. hopefully. A stupid crush that I’d been harboring for years and titling on a scale of something more.
It wasn’t long until my tears dried and I found myself among the section of carnival games. All of the rigged and hard to win and if you did win, it would be a small sappy prize that you would toss into a garbage bag or try to sell for a nickel at a garage sale.
There were darts and guessing the weight of a small pig. The basketball tossing and hitting the giant hammer looked tempting but instead I walked to the game that no one had ever won. Ring toss. A game of chance and so incredibly rigged, it's a miracle if one prize is won in a year.
Without a second thought, I gave up a fresh twenty dollar bill and the girl working, who clearly hated her job, handed me the biggest bucket of rings. Enough to keep me entertained until I call my mom or muster up enough courage to ask Butch for a ride back like a dog with its tail inbetween its legs.
I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I could be okay with this. But I was stupid. Stupid to think that the boy I had a crush on, one of my best friends, would like me back, or even be into dudes for that matter. But no, instead of having my secret crush kept, ya know, a secret, the one person who shouldn’t know, did.
I tossed another ring into the sea of bottles, the high pitched clinking echoed for just a moment as another was tossed. Maybe this was pointless. Maybe trying to figure out feelings was a waste of time because in all honesty, I never knew.
Like the plastic rings people pay way too much for, you jump and you think you’ll land on that bottle, secure the prize and show everyone up. Prove that you can do the impossible.
But then you miss and reality comes back. The bucket dwindles down and soon you’re left with nothing but regret for trying and shorting eight bucks.
“Hey.”
I turned, of course he would follow me. Why wouldn’t he? He was probably here just to tell me to let it go and sweep it under the rug, and say it's not weird when it totally is. Or he was going to come out and say that maybe our friendship has come to its expiration date.
“Oh. Hey.” I threw another one, missing again.
I tried not to care as he stood next to me but I passed him the bucket and he took his own shot, missing, just like me.
“Have you been crying?” He asked and there was no way around it.
“Yep.” I popped the p and threw another ring. “Look Mitch, I’m sorry what I said-”
“Don’t be.”.
Oh
“Most guys would just push someone like me away if that happened.”
He hummed and tossed a ring, missing. “Well, I’m not like most guys and I thought that was pretty clear. Especially after those jerks. I value your friendship too much to get worried or upset.”
I looked over at him, and that in itself was a mistake, because it would be just my luck that the other carnival games with their bright flashing lights would surround him and make it seem like he was glowing. The lights soften his features, a small twinkle on the black orb of his earring and making those very so light freckles appear.
Almost like a painting hung up in a museum. You think the trip is boring, and for the most part it is. A few interesting things here and there but just as you are about to leave, you find a room you hadn’t explored. It could be nothing and you could leave, forgetting everything in the last three hours and moving on with your life.
Or it could be life changing. As if when you walked in there, the most captivating painting was on that wall and you wonder how you skipped it in the first place. You stare at it, taking in the picture itself and the meaning. Stepping closer and looking at the paint strokes, the time taken to make this is clear and it's full of questions and mystery. The small plaque on the wall fails to answer.
He picked up the last ring. It twirled in his fingertips unsure of where to go.
“I kept thinking, you know.” He said. “I remember watching a show, a random cartoon and an ad for a pride festival popped up. I thought nothing of it, didn’t know what it meant at the time but my father did. He was outraged and changed the channel, screamed and shouted saying that if his son ever was caught doing something like that…” Mitch paused and closed his palm.
I could see the hurt in his eyes as he sighed.
“Then he would have no son. So when I found out what it all meant and learned about myself....I thought it would be best to never act on it. No matter how much I wanted to look towards another guy, I couldn’t.”
“I’m sorry Mitch, I didn’t know.” And it was the truth. I wanted to mentally slap myself for not realizing that he was, in fact, gay as well. Way to go Mike, your gay-dar is broken. But then again, you can’t just tell a sexuality clear as day. I can’t blame him for hiding it, after everything with his dad.
He sighed again. “But when you told me that. Told me you wanted me, I think I started to realize that I would rather have something I want no matter what others think of me. I envy how you can just come out and be proud, as you should, but I wish I was that brave instead of a coward.”
“Mitch.” I slid my hand on top of his cautiously. He didn’t flinch or have any indication of pulling away. “I’m scared every day. Scared that someone might yell something offensive or even try to hurt me. Just like those assholes did earlier.But I can’t stop those things from happening but I can choose to not let them affect me. It's hard but you know you’re surrounded by people who care about you. Plus your best friend is an actual superhero.”
“I know, I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to date such a fuck up like me.”
Fuck up? Did this boy really think that?
“I would never see you as that.” I said honestly. “It's normal for us to have conflicting feelings when someone in our life isn't supportive. It's never gonna be a walk in the park or smooth sailing but when you're with someone who cares about you, it makes it easier.”
He sighed for the hundredth time. It was clear the gears in his mind were running at full steam and he looked at the ring in his hand then to the bottles.
“I guess you’re right Mike. I guess I was thrown off that the dude I've liked since kindergarten likes me back.” He looked towards me and tossed the ring, not bothering to pay attention. “I just hope you haven't changed you mind-”
The next thing I know, my hand is tugging on his worn leather collar and his lips are pressed to mine.
I never thought that my first kiss would be as enchanting as this. You always think it's magical and fulfilling but in reality it's probably a mess of lips that don’t move quite as well and somehow there's a tongue doing whatever it wants. I guess I can’t count this as my first kiss because Robin had peaked me on the lips in third grade, also giving me the clear sexual awakening of how I never want another woman to come near me again, but this was different.
He tasted like cotton candy which I should find gross and oddly weird but I didn’t mind one bit. At the beginning there was a bit of hesitation, or maybe he was caught off guard since I did interrupt him but I couldn’t help myself. Stupid hormones. He wasted no time kissing me back and I even felt a hand on my waist pulling towards him. Although it lasted only a few mere seconds, it was like a lifetime of waiting had lifted.
When we pulled apart, loud speakers and alarms went off above us. I looked towards the game, I noticed one single plastic ring was stuck on the bottle. The worker smiled at us before nodding.
“Wow, I can’t believe you made it, especially without looking.” She said and I looked to Mitch who just shrugged.
“What? You kissed me, I just threw it.” He smiled brightly and I hugged him.
“So what will it be?” I asked him and he turned towards the prizes.
“Well, what about that dinosaur?”
“I love dinosaurs.”
Mitch smiled. “I know.”
The worker used a ladder to climb and retrieve the massive blue dinosaur prize. As a kid, i used to dream of winning such a cool thing but know, I think I got something better. Mitch handed it to me with a blush and I looked at it with just as much pink on my cheeks.
“Ya know.” Mitch started. “I have enough tickets for one last ride. Maybe the ferris wheel?”
“That sounds good.” He reached out his hand and I took it. Before I could blink, I felt his lips press against my cheek.
“I don’t like to see you cry.” He said.
I simply hummed and we walked hand in hand to the ferris wheel before deciding to give the prize to some kids. He handed the tickets to the worker as we climbed into the cart and began to go up. He threw his arm over my shoulder like he did on the rollercoaster, but this time, I leaned against him and let those emotions I tried to keep at bay, run wild.
“I’m really glad Butch dragged me here.” I said honestly and Mitch only laughed and silenced me with his lips pressed against mine.
“Me too.”
When we pulled apart, a few questions still lingered in my mind.
“You mean, you’ve liked me this entire time? And you knew I was gay?” I asked hesitantly. It wasn’t a secret, the last part at least.
He scratched the back of his neck, a nervous tick he's had since he was little. “I mean I wasn’t hundred percent sure, I thought maybe it was a one time thing or just happened occasionally. But as we got older, more specifically high school, I think that's when it hit me.” He sighed. “All I knew was that I wanted to be with you until my heart stopped racing.”
His eyes met mine. I’ve always hated when people didn’t see the beauty in brown eyes. They think they are dull and lifeless, only one hue but that's far from the truth. Mitch’s eyes had spots of gold and a slight tint of green, breathtaking to say the least.
“I mean it’s a shame we spent our high school years just as friends.” My hand went on top of his. “But I’d rather have you as my friend instead of losing you so I understand. But what about your dad? Will be okay with us dating-or well I assume we should-”
“I don’t care about his opinion of us. Plus we would be idiots not to date at this point. If he doesn’t accept. That's his loss not mine.” His gaze went to the sky where a firework exploded.
The colors lit up in the sky and we realized we got lucky as our cart stopped at the very top. It felt unreal to be sitting next to my best friend and now, boyfriend. There's always moments in your life that you feel like were meant to be. Maybe it's the career you chose or the person you marry. Milestones that are already set in stone and fate just happens to bring you together, all that stuff. And as I looked at him through heavy lashes I thought that maybe, just maybe, the stars aligned on this one.
That or I would have to admit that Butch is the king of romance, even though he did literally nothing today and this was all me. Either way, Mikey boy’s got a man.
--
I hope you enjoyed love!!
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[devil's advocate] Can you do a masterpost of your fallout ocs? I love your ncr folks!
You can always search my blog on mobile for OC names and anything mentioning them will come up! Otherwise before i get into depth i have to describe some places that i made lore for since theres nothing in canon. Everything will be under the cut, its kinda long
- blyth: settlement right between Phoenix and Palm Springs. On the west side of the Colorado River. It’s a ncr Ranger post thats constantly vigilant because of heavy legion traffic
- palm springs: a touristy town today, a lot of 40s/50s celebrities had second homes here since hollywood had a rule about being no more the 2 hours away. was hit by a few missiles during the great war but mostly just got falloff from LA bombs. Its a very isolated community, with a few celebrity prewar ghouls and a vault. Uses the windfarm there for power, although a lot of the turbines were wrecked in the war giving of only 30% power. Theres some old world blues here. I nicknamed is “Fool’s Paradise” after the song by bob crosby, because they just try to ignore the legion and ncr. Eventually does get annexed into ncr.
- indio: kinda like westside, I never really developed it that much. Palm springs doesnt like like legion refugees so they congregate and live here as a patched community.
- 29 palms: an originally abandoned military base that was repurposed by some refugees to be a new home.
- joshua tree national park: deathclaw paradise. There are a lot of rocks for protection and bighorned sheep to snack on so i just feel like itd be the perfect habitat for them. Like zion i think itd be pretty unaffected by the war
- salton sea: an already toxic area to begin with in our timeline, it has the highest saltine level of all lakes caused my manmade mistakes. since its already useless, in fallout au they dumped radioactive waste into it. Absolutely inhospitable with mutated fish and giant birds, along with a constant toxic gas cloud surrounding it
-riverside city: an agricultural settlement, mostly fruit. Built out from a vault thats experiment was increasing vitamin c over a long period of time. Opened the doors 2200. The followers set up an outpost here and made a joint system to improve health and trade.
- big bear: a mountain logger town that virtually is unfazed by the war. Ncr territory.
Gabriel: my independent courier!!! He was born near the boneyard in 2244, and was raised on the road by his mom. Technically an ncr citizen, but not a soldier. He didnt meet his dad and (half) sister until he was six, and wasnt close to them growing up. When he was old enough he tried joining the followers, but it didnt work out, so he went to palm springs where his sister lives and learn more about her and his dad, and start work as a courier. She teaches him a lot of survival skills that she learned from their dad. He ends up in The Colorado territory (riverside county area) right when its getting annexed hes 27, and right after that he leaves and does courier traveling the west coast for a couple years. At age 33 he gets a notice that his dad went mia at the first battle of hoover dam while he was up near navarro. This is when he takes the package to the divide. He goes back to palm springs for a while before he actually decides to go to navada to pay his respects, and he takes a job in primm to deliver the chip and thats when fnv starts. He’s a sniper with high charisma and speech, good at stealth, and has good survival skills.
Miguela: gabriels older sister by 6 years who actually has a bunch of aliases and ncr’s number one tax evader. Born in el paso tx, her mom died giving birth and her dads a desert ranger so pretty much raises her as such in the mojave. She ends up going her own way, travels into the mountain areas of CA. lives on an apple farm for some time until the ncr starts pissing her off and she moves back to the mojave in palm springs/29 palms. Finds out what the legion is, hates it, and basically becomes a warden under the name Riley (its from an apple farm called Riley’s Farm, 5 star apple pie) for the area and turns into a legend pretty much. Based on the song “lady from 29 palms” so nicknames like “best of the west” and “witch of the west”. Gabriel shows up, and after a few years the mayor of palm springs is kidnapped and they go on that adventure trying to stop a legion raid after already dealing with ncr. She ends up becoming the mayor and hates it.
Luz: my chosen one and gabriels mom! After blowing up the oil she keeps wandering the wasteland more and does some random odd jobs. Meets gabriel’s dad near vegas. Goes back to CA to try and get to the boneyard but gets sidetracked. Shes pretty new so shes not super developed, she she ends up pretty aloof and mysterious. Shes pretty protective of gabriel though and does keep tabs on him.
Ray Vasquez (ranger dad): he was born in baja as a fisherman but traveled up to the mojave and joined the rangers. After that he just travels around a lot. Hes really charismatic but doesnt know what hes doing with his life, he just travels around and notes areas for the rangers.
Dimitri Romero: born in Tucson 2252. Hes strong, perceptive, and endurable. Hes not very charismatic, intelligent, or agile and has average luck. His skills though, contradict his stats. He cant do close combat, doesnt know lock picking/explosives, and although he can eat anything he doesnt know how to cook. Meanwhile hes very talkative yet no very likable, he can repair things but its from experiences learning from his mom, and hes good at using a gun but hes kinda like… rough with them and doesnt handle them nicely. He is a good hunter though, good at tracking. Had a desert ranger dad who died a few months after he was born from a raider attack. Has a mom who traveled from chihuahua mx, and then raised him on his own after finding the most remote yet stable location possible, big bear. He joins the ncr thinking itll help his mom financially and becomes one of the youngest ncr rangers. Hes 19 when the ncr-desert ranger truce is signed, and thats when he starts training to be a ranger. When he does become one hes sent to blyth. Hes then sent to a ncr prison near there to interrogate a legionary, and i drew that b99 comic of him yelling.
Caeso: hes the legionary getting yelled at. Its like that silus quest, except hes not stupid. He was a Frumentarii who killed a centurion, and got attacked by his squad. Was able to escape and swim across but was pretty close to dying in the river until an ncr patrol picked him up. He was near blyth when all this happened, thats where he was supposed to sneak into. He doesnt give any information and does break out and infiltrates the ncr. Hes the foil to dimitri where hes not strong/perceptive/endurable but he’s charismatic/intelligent/agile. Hes good at melee, but its less bashing and more calculated cuts. He doesnt really do medicine but knows a ton of herb remedies and recipes. Barely talks but somehow likable. Tall and not good and sneaking, knows how to pick locks, but never learned how to use terminals or most prewar technology.
Gauis: was my legion courier but got a bug where anytime he tried to sleep during the arizona killer hed die. Hes really tall and strong but has really, really bad charisma and speech so he just says the worst things all the time. Was living a pretty isolated life trapping and cannibalizing people in remote areas in arizonas forests. He still eats people.
Im still trying to develop some misc ocs, but tbh i have to actually start making more stuff that isnt just timelines and notes and stuff for it to sound coherent
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... positive response... (๑•﹏•) And I'm too lazy to put in 10asks bc this is wayy too long for an ask... So... Here's what I ranted on this subject to my friend earlier today:
So, it starts with the dorms right? The first week for the kids is like sleeping over a friend's house for the first time, everyone is tip toeing around each other, (except like, Bakugou, 'cause he doesn't really care) But dude, being that careful leads to being suuuper high strung, not to mention the fact that none of them are probably getting very good sleep, bc it's a new place, too.
- So second week comes around and it's now more of a "if you even breathe in my direction, I will end you" bc come on, they're teenagers and now they're extra exhausted
-queue everyone getting on each other's nerves 24/7, trying to work around each other's schedules, habits, etc... And MAN do they have so much more enthusiasm for sparring practice bc that much teenage angst and aggression packed into a dorm sounds like a bad idea
- Like, "you ate my last Hot Pocket??? You're going to EAT DIRT in practice today." So it cycles through high and low tension between each other, and by the time like a month goes by, somehow they've basically just settled into sibling mode
Which is weird for the only-children in the class but everyone else finally just feels more at home
-unfortunately for Aizawa, settling into a huge family mode does NOT keep them from doing stupid stuff, in fact, it seems to increase the stupidity somehow. But their teamwork has improved by strides, and they've naturally started boosting each other in weak areas
SO. stupidity has multiplied, and the kids are accidentally calling the teachers dad/mom more than ever before, bc all of a sudden they aren't with their own families all the time, so their brains just sort of fill whatever gaps they can with what's available (responsible adult = parental figure ???)
- As much as he tries to act unaffected, Aizawa is just so dang soft for these kids and he's been having dreams nightmares where they are actually, legitimately legally his children, and he just worries ALL THE DANG TIME
- And then everything just sort of cements itself a couple weeks after Eri joins his gaggle of children...
for some reason these kids just are completely incapablele of giving him any sort of break, and so there's some sort of petty shouting match in the common room,, is it friendly? Are they arguing? Shota certainly doesn't care, he's been dangerously low on sleep lately and has not had nearly enough coffee to deal with this, so he just yells out the (current) trouble makers names and says they're all grounded-
- everything grinds to a complete stop, and now theres like 15+ kids staring at him, shocked. Until one of the kids previously uninvolved(Bakugou? Kaminari?) starts laughing, bc dude you just got grounded by our TEACHER
And Aizawas glare snaps to them and is like "you're grounded, too"
the laughing is gone now, and a chorus of why's and how's and what's and protests break out- another glare shuts them up, but one brave student has the courage to ask what in the world they are even grounded from and he's like "I haven't decided yet"
- Because basically he said it on a knee jerk reaction and has no idea where to go with it, but he can't back out now and the thought of trying to explain this away and change what he said sounds like a bigger headache than just going with it
- And after the initial annoyance and headache of it all, somehow he finds that it works better than whatever they were trying before to keep the kids wrangled, because, again, they're living away from their parents, so everything is weird and crazy until he pulls the parent card on accident and now the kids find that somehow their life feels a lot more normal than before
And there's plenty of joking in the teachers office, but they're all pretty relieved at the stupid amount of difference it has made on the kids.
so all of this blows over, and isn't quite forgotten but now it's just normal, until one stressful week, Aizawa has gotten very little sleep, and somehow Toshinori got himself hurt because he followed his big heart and did something stupid and brave at the cost of his own safety
And all the teachers are called in for a meeting to find a solution to this week's disaster,
And Aizawa takes one look at Toshi covered in bandages again, and in his half asleep state, just goes, "Toshinori-san. You're grounded."
all of the teachers are on the edge of dying from trying not to laugh,
but Toshi is sputtering, like, you can't do that?? And he looks to Nedzu for help, who looks him right in the eye and says, "you heard him. You're grounded." With a shrug and goes back to drinking tea.
At this point Midnight snorts, and Mic lets out this high pitched wheezing noise, and Shouta looks around the room without a care and crawls into his sleeping bag and passes out
- (he won't admit that the sight of so many bandages automatically reminded him of a certain problem child)
- (or that saying that was also a complete accident that he ran with again because he still couldn't think of a way to talk himself out of it)
- so yeah that's the crack I was thinking of today:
"Aizawa catches family-feelings, which leads to accidental fatherly actions, which becomes a habit because his kids are more than a handful, which turns into accidentally fathering his co-workers because they remind him of the kids sometimes"
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*.✧
*accidental fatherly actions ensue*
Okay okay okay so I've got this silly little Dadzawa idea going around in my head today and at its most basic form it's: "Aizawa catches family-feelings, which leads to accidental fatherly actions, which becomes a habit because his kids are more than a bit of trouble, which turns into accidentally fathering his co-workers because they remind him of the kids sometimes" and I think it's pretty funny but I also feel kinda stupid asdksksks
Wait no thats amazing?? Aizawa accidentally making All Might eat his lunch and have plenty of sleep.
#AGDSKKSKSK#sorry about that i am shy and have anxiety but i REALLY NEEDED TO SHARE THIS WITH SOMEONE#and i know you love dadzawa...soooo.#i hope this makes sense i was just kinda ranting#bnha#dadzawa
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Chapter 4: Like Death Warmed Over (Loki x OFC Pairing)
"Supernatural ended?! What the actual fuck?! Why?!" I exclaimed while catching up on the shows I missed in the five year absence. "That show was supposed to go till I die...again! My life is over!" I curled up on the couch, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my head in my arms.
"It was quite an entertaining show," Loki agreed, having grown curious early on in my catching up what I was bitching about missing so much. "Is any of it true? The monsters and the ways to kill them?"
"I only know about ghosts and spirits and most kinds of salt does act as a ward against them, rock salt especially. As I don't get rid them by force but by coercion if anything, I don't know if burning the bodies or pieces of the body left would send them away. Not about to try either."
"And the other monsters of legends in there, do they exist?"
"Almost every culture has their monsters on this planet, some overlapping between werewolves and vampires, I wouldn't be surprised if they do but I've not personally seen any beyond my area of expertise. Not my problem."
"What about angels and demons?"
"Those two are a bit different as they were primarily created by only one such religion, and a shady one at that, people somehow have different ideas of what those are. There have been cases of demonic possession in the past but its not like in the show where they're black smoke forcing themselves into your mouth, you don't see it happening, it just happens. Angels on the other hand...bit more complicated, ancient literature depicts them as benevolent guardians of God to carry out his will and guide us lowly humans. Modern media however depicts the majority of them as dicks with an agenda of their own that doesn't involve helping us at all."
"What do you believe then?"
"I have no one religion to believe considering I'm talking to a god right now and was given more power from beings that claim they're gods as well, everyone wants to be king of the mountain."
"And what do you want?"
"A cottage by the shores of Salem, where death and dark magic is strong but not shunned and the weird are welcomed more than the mundane."
"That place sounds intriguing, tell me more about it."
"Centuries ago when my ancestors first settled, people were even more religious nuts than they are now and they were crazy superstitious. They were also just plain crazy and got the idea of obtaining other people's land and property by accusing the owners of being evil witches after watching their daughters dabble in a bit of voodoo magic with their slaves. That's when the infamous Salem Witch Trials started which was a horrific dark mark in this country's history. Hundreds of innocent lives were ended as women and children and even the occasional man was accused, tortured, and locked away for life or executed horrifically."
"And you wish to live there?" he asked incredulously.
"There might be some unrest still from the victims and I want them to be at peace. Also, while the history of the place was terrible to say the least, it has become a bit more whimsical and touristy which I usually hate but they make it so fun there. You might even like it yourself if you ever wanna visit, assuming Tony lets me off the leash and I'm not stuck living here forever. Nowadays its a place that celebrates and capitalizes on magic."
"What if I were to convince Tony to let us have a day trip to there?"
"You'd do that?"
"Why not?"
I shrugged but smiled at the idea. "I'd say you're living up to the nickname Silvertongue."
"Oh that's not the only reason I'm called that," he purred into my ear.
I'm pretty sure if I could still bring color to my skin, I'd have the slightest blush of excitement from his voice alone let alone the suggestion. "Promises promises."
"Tell me something, you say you're dead inside and only the necromancy itself keeps you going, but do you still feel or are your nerves dead too."
"I don't think I'd wanna be alive if I couldn't feel or taste things so yes intense pain and strong levels of pleasure, kinda like a succubus I guess, pleasure keeps me alive, reminds me I'm still kicking." I paused then, trying to read if he was just gonna dump naughty images in my head or actually follow through. I do something totally impulsive then and rest my head on his lap, reaching up and touching the razorsharp jawbones of a god. Though he's cool to the touch, the second I come in contact with him I feel alive again.
"Do you miss being completely alive?" he asked, seeing the sudden but fleeting change from my touch.
"I'm not sure, the life I had before the change was almost complete hell from what I remember and I'm not one of those protagonists that wishes they could just be normal again, I like being what I am. I'd probably have died for real at Hydra, always finding new methods to get the same result of me not doing anything, I think a normal human would've died from the pain or blood loss then."
"That would make you an immortal, staying alive when you should be long dead, unaffected."
I shrugged. "I am what I am. Doubt I'm immortal though, a blade through the heart might not work but most creatures are killed by beheading including zombies which apparently Stark thinks I am. Jokes on him though, I don't eat brains, that's the least appetizing part of the body."
"You know from experience, do you?" he asked in bemusement. "Is it the heart then?"
I wrinkled my nose at this, recalling a certain show where a horse heart was devoured raw. "Have you ever eaten a muscle? It's like eating a wet squishy piece of leather, your jaw starts to ache after a few bites of a chewy chunk. Everyone assumes its the heart or brains thats best because we think since thats our best quality alive, it should be that in a meal." My hand slid from his face to his heart then though was blocked by his green asgardian leisure robes so the feeling of being alive was a bit lost though I still wanted to feel his heart, so many people seemed to think he didn't have one. I wondered if I could survive pulling his lifeforce from him, not that I'd want to of course when just touching him gave me a taste of life, but an immortal with immense power meant he wouldn't be dead for a while and that meant he was a potential atomic bomb in my hands. I was quiet for once, feeling his heartbeat, his power under my hand, so many different thoughts between naughty and dangerous running through my head then. I could feel him watch me just as quiet as I was, ever the curious god observing his new catch.
"What are you thinking that's stayed your tongue suddenly?" he asked me then.
I smirked. "I'm wondering what true power tastes like."
"Lean up and find out," he challenged smoothly.
Both my eyebrows popped up then, usually when people find out I'm a walking magical corpse they're instantly turned off due to that pesky little thing called necrophilia. I didn't need to be told twice though and did just that, our lips connecting softly. The second it did, my entire body warmed and tingled back to life, causing me to moan into the kiss in the rush of long missed feeling I didn't want to end. What started out as a tasting, testing the waters kiss quickly became one of lust and hunger he was matching just as greedily. I pushed myself up to get even closer to him and his hands snaked around my hips without breaking the kiss. Of course something had to at least give Loki some air to breathe and it was a soft thump coming outside the room followed closely by, "Mr. Stark, are you here?"
We pulled away reluctantly, allowing Loki to catch his breath and me to lose mine returning to my current corpse form. "You'll be the life of me, Loki," I mused. "Did a kid just interrupt this?"
"That must be the Spiderling then," loki replied, waiting for me to get off him before getting off the couch and offering me his hand once more.
I took it curiously and followed him out of the living to where a teenager was looking around wearing a high tech spider themed suit that looked like an offshoot of Deadpool's suit though the mask part was pulled off. He's cute though a bit young. "That has Stark written all over it."
The kid whirled around as his back had been turned to us watching him look for his sugar daddy. "Hi Loki, who are you?"
"Who am I? Who are you?" I countered. "I was here first."
"I'm Spider Parker- I mean Peter Man," he stumbled in answer. "Dammit."
I couldn't hide the laughter at his failed attempt to cover one if not both identities and looked over at Loki who was smirking just the same. "Isn't he just precious?"
"I think you caught him by surprise, not an easy feat as he claims he has a sixth sense for that sort of thing," Loki commented.
I shrugged. "Occupational hazard. Tony's not here right now, but if you'd like to leave a message you can do so elsewhere."
Peter as I guessed his actual name was scowled at me and appeared to get in a defensive stance but once more we were interrupted by something entering the building followed by. "Loki, you guys here?"
"Maybe," I called back.
Tony walked into the room we were all standing in and grinned seeing Peter there as well. "Hey kid, what brings you here?"
"Mr. Stark, I heard rumors theres a horde of zombies at the hydra base and wanted to help," Peter replied quickly.
It was my turn to frown then. "So much for keeping that under wraps, I'm blaming you on this, Stark. You just had to know, didn't you?"
"Me? I'm pretty sure you volunteered as you hate them as much as we do."
"I was hoping you'd handle most of it, you're the Avengers after all, but once more a woman has to clean up a mess made by lousy men."
"You know her, Mr. Stark?" squeaked Peter between the bickering.
"We found her in the second to last base we raided, well Loki did anyway," explained Tony. "I let you into my compound as a guest I know almost nothing about and this is how you thank me."
"You could've just let me go back to where I was before I got caught but noooo, you had to know why I was there."
"She's got a point there, Stark," Loki noted.
"Who's side are you on?" he demanded.
"Hers, clearly. I thought that much was obvious as I'm standing right next to her this whole time."
Tony rolled his eyes but returned his attention to Peter. "Don't worry about it, kid. The zombies don't work for Hydra."
"They don't?" he asked in disbelief.
"They work for me," I chirped. "Well not worked so much as follow since its free of charge and labor."
"You? What are you, the Night Queen?" Peter asked.
Tony chuckled at the reference. My eyes went snow white then and I gave him a look that matched the lead wight walker. "Winter is coming," I told him in a hollow voice.
"M-Mr. Stark, I don't think it's a good idea to have her on the team," Peter told him quietly.
"Are you questioning my judgment, kid?"
"No, sir."
"Good, because she's staying here."
"Actually," I interjected. "I have a request on that note."
Tony turned back to me then with an arched eyebrow. "You're not moving out till I can fully trust you."
"She wants to go on a field trip with me somewhere, just for a day," Loki spoke up.
Tony crossed his arms and looked expectantly at the god. "Where?"
"Only the most magical place in the east coast," I answered.
"Disneyworld?" Peter asked hopefully.
I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Hell no, that's the most nauseating place in the east coast. So full of families with kids they can't hope to control, and all that noise noise noise. That place ain't magical, it's mechanical and made of money and memories. No, this place isn't in the south and doesn't require commercial airlines to get there."
"Hm, well you proved you can handle yourself on the battlefield and Loki will be with you on this trip but as I still don't trust him completely we'll have someone else with you two to make sure you don't get into too much trouble," Tony stated. "Clint will go with you as he's the only one free at the moment and wasn't fighting off hydra like the rest of us did. Family outting or whatever at his farm."
"Is that a yes?"
"Yup, don't make me regret it either or you'll be on a tighter leash than Loki is."
"Oooh a leash, kinky, what's the safe word?"
"Bananas," he quipped right back, making me cackle before I thanked him for letting have some fun on my own.
#lokifanfiction#lokifanfic#lokixoc#lokixNell#loki x original female character#necromancer#nell the necromancer#necromancy#avengers
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season refresh: our columnists’ most effective and worsts
Our writers take stock after the Premier League season, naming their best player, finest goal, most entertaining match, biggest gripe and much more
Best player
Daniel Taylor: NGolo Kant. If he can keep Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the fashion, but Harry Kane has been the outstanding single player: top scorer, team man and with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield: Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switch in system, provided the cut and thrust which inspired Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he struggled with a hip complaint, his revival was eye-catching.
Paul Wilson: It probably doesnt matter which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing things around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any position across the back line and his consistency and tenacity are unaffected.
Amy Lawrence: If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and market it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to make others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The way he carried his Leicester qualities so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits.
Barry Glendenning: Jordan Pickford. Only in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to lure Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23-year-old pulled off the impressive feat of making himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite playing in the Premier Leagues worst team. Although hes prone to the increasingly rare gaffe, its difficult to pick holes in any aspect of Pickfords overall game and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been relegated before the sighting of this springs first swallow.
David Hytner: Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. His ability to make the difference when it matters the most marks him out.
Scott Murray: Diego Costa kept Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that effectively decided the league, all the while staying in character as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining presence when hes gone.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League goals at 175 minutes per strike for a No10 is top class. At 21, a player with that edge all elite players possess has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champions were not simply a very defensive team, as a former manager bearing sour grapes suggested. They were also the most devastating and intelligent team in the final third thanks largely to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Photograph: Darren Walsh/Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, candidates but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five rungs of the league ladder in successive seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being shifted from a wide role to central midfield this term, the intelligence of Clucass passing bears the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuaded him not to give up the game before honing his skills at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly confounded the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 goals. For a player to continually create and score so many goals in a team that spent almost the entire season fighting relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg: After last seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in thrilling style and found the consistency to go with his outrageous talent. NGolo Kant was a worthy recipient of the PFA and FWA awards, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last seasons champions lost their way, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 defeat by Spurs but, taking a broader view, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these troubled times.
Simon Burnton: The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season awards currently cluttering his mantelpiece.
Ed Aarons: NGolo Kant deserves his awards for winning a second successive Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to form coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas only genuine challengers. Even 13 assists and eight Premier League goals do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani: Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League goals and, quite simply, without him they would have been relegated, suffering all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes people losing their jobs.
Best manager
Daniel Taylor: Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to undermine him. How, possibly, can anyone question what he has done to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champion team, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on match days remains the most ludicrously excited man about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield: Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with elite managers, he adapted best to the peculiarities of the Premier League and ended up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson: It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief visit to dreamland there seems no point in looking past the obvious. Antonio Conte could hardly have hoped for a better first season in England. In terms of impact, it says it all that he can now match Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League record of wins in a season.
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Antonio Conte: Chelsea’s new Special One? video
Amy Lawrence: Conte. From the very first game of the Premier League campaign when he celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline passion, he has managed almost every situation with authority, class and style. In tactical alterations and man management, bringing the best out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he barely missed a beat.
Barry Glendenning: Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline demeanour of a man who has just had a large handful of red ants dropped down the trousers of his expensive designer suit, there is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three in the wake of defeat at Arsenal has been hailed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that may be be over-egging the pudding somewhat, the manner in which he steered his team to the title with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his measure was no mean feat.
David Hytner: Antonio Conte. It has been another hugely impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has been better. Took over a Chelsea squad with problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions.
Scott Murray: Heres a respectful nod to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high league placing and yet another cup final, somehow maintained super-human levels of dignity despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An extraordinary feat. His will be much the better look when this story is told 20 years from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 league goals and may win the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out choice, not only for winning the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential crises notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong case while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva turned water into wine in east Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play fabulous football on around half the collective wage bill of other top six sides, but keeping Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Given the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley have never really been threatened with relegation this season so good has their home form been. Photograph: Lee Smith/Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Hugely impressive to win the title in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of passion for the game and gives the impression that every player, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg: A nod to Sean Dyche for keeping Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outperformed his rivals by reviving a misfiring, uneven squad with the power of his motivational qualities, tactical acumen and infectious will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton: Great as Tottenham have once again been under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes impact at Chelsea has been greater.
Ed Aarons: Antonio Conte. The Italian only arrived at Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first game of the season but has emerged as a title winner in his first season in English football. The switch to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management skills in dealing with Diego Costas regular tantrums.
Sachin Nakrani: Antonio Conte. Winning the title in your first season in England is a superb achievement, particularly when it involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.
Best goal
Daniel Taylor: Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace.
Barney Ronay: Girouds running scorpion volley, a lovely move and a ludicrous finish, made all the more improbable by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a very stiff man trying to wriggle his way over a garden fence.
Dominic Fifield: Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to bring him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block.
Paul Wilson: Sam Allardyce will have been more concerned about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some beating for wow factor. Not a team goal, perhaps, but Carroll put a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence: The Emre Can/Giroud/Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that struck a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in a game that felt so influential for the title. What a fine team goal. The quality of Cesc Fbregass run and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they felt undeniably like champions again.
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How the 2016-17 Premier League title was won by Chelsea video
Barry Glendenning: Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not the best, but almost certainly the only thing of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo effort sent goal-shy Boro on their way to their first home win. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to close him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70-yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him abruptly cutting inside and slotting home. Buoyed by this rare moment of quality and inspiration, Middlesbrough went on to win three more Premier League matches, while their increasingly unpopular summer signing would go on to score only one more goal as his side sank below the depths.
David Hytner: Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing has the ability to bring jaws to the floor more quickly than the thumping scissor kick. Especially when it is executed by a big man.
Scott Murray: Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so absurd its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long romp that preceded it, embellished by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott scored against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian lets go a flying back-heeled volley. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other goals carried more weight in the context of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable examples but based purely on its merits this fleeting reminder of the quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The winner in a 2-1 shock opening-day victory against the defending champions for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys vicious cross, the ball fell to Snodgrass whose first-time, left footed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle kick against Watford must take some beating. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can lets fly with a sumptuous overhead kick against Watford. Photograph: John Walton/PA
Jacob Steinberg: Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70-yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever trick and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the breath away with those scorpion kicks and bicycle blasts. But in an otherwise grim season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a rare moment of excitement makes it all the more precious.
Simon Burnton: Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kick wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival volleys that compare with it, but to my mind it is the best of the bunch. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit lucky. It was the only thing I could do. I tried to hit it with a backheel and after it was all about luck, but by March he was saying: I dont want to big myself up but goals like mine leave a mark on history. Andy Carrolls [overhead kick] is magnificent, but maybe people wont remember it in two years time. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a hell of a way to snatch a late equaliser, set a wonderful record and convince Jos Mourinho he could finally jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons: In a season of spectacular volleys, Emre Can saved the best for last. His brilliant overhead kick against Watford left nothing to chance, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks.
Sachin Nakrani: Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of notable scorpion/overhead kicks, this one edges it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the height at which boot met ball prior to it looping into the net.
Best match
Daniel Taylor: At the risk of sounding like a misery, its not easy to think of a stand-out match this season. Nothing left me as excited as, say, seeing Monaco in the Champions League.
Barney Ronay: Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and desperate at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for.
Dominic Fifield: Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces win at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling nature of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were superb going forward, playing wonderfully incisive and inventive football. Palace defended ruggedly and, somehow, kept them out.
Paul Wilson: The one that sticks in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and entertaining game, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola moaning about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant title pointer at the Etihad too, for the second successive season following Leicesters statement win in February.
Amy Lawrence: Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, wonderful, beautiful, panicked madness. The best of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a brave face. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated game. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer scores during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. Photograph: Christopher Lee/Getty Images
David Hytner: Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never mind the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the scenes after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a month or so.
Scott Murray: Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It really wouldnt have taken much for this game to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a hole in the title pretensions of Jrgen Klopps team and suggested Sean Dyches men would survive. Those auguries were proved correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League matches attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many reasons. In Ronald Koemans eyes it was really perfect and a total team performance from Everton. It confirmed the emergence of Tom Davies, who scored his first goal for the club with an exquisite chip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and brought a debut goal for Ademola Lookman with one of the teenagers first touches in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, however, it underlined the defensive and mental frailties at Manchester City, represented the heaviest league defeat of his managerial career and left him conceding the title was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this means watched live, its a difficult one to answer. As north-east correspondent Ive certainly seen a few candidates for worst game at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier game does stick in the memory though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller featuring a brilliant, mesmerising performance from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes remaining then all hell let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective managers, went through every emotion going and, in truth, it wasnt really surprising that neither man lasted much longer in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at the game were also in a terrible state come the end.
Jacob Steinberg: Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another game until they were already relegated. In their defence, Ive only just recovered from the shock as well.
Simon Burnton: Liverpools 4-3 win at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could ask it to be and more. Excellent attacking, lovely goals from open play, a gorgeous free kick, brilliant individual skill, embarrassing manager-hugging celebrations, sunshine, it had the lot. The only possible reaction was yes please, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, sadly, neither team could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times brilliant, but also bizarre, outrageous and laughable. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons: Swansea 5-4 Palace. Leading 4-3 with the game past the 90-minute mark, Alan Pardew must have felt pretty good. His team had just battled back from 3-1 down with only 15 minutes remaining to lead, only to surrender the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time.
Sachin Nakrani: Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter only let down by poor finishing. A mention, too, for Swanseas 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that saw two goals in stoppage time and Alan Pardew fearing the worst.
Best referee
Daniel Taylor: Keith Hackett. I see his criticisms of the current crop and marvel that he must never have made a mistake in his life.
Barney Ronay: Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional comedy, when he leaves for Sauds.
Dominic Fifield: Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver.
Paul Wilson: No idea. They all look the same to me. Lets say Martin Atkinson.
Amy Lawrence: Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the star as much as some. He gives the impression of wanting the best game possible.
Barry Glendenning: Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a thing of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellow card given to Ross Barkley was a thing of beauty. Photograph: Jason Cairnduff/Reuters
David Hytner: I dont have strong feelings on the category this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best.
Scott Murray: Referees are lightning rods for impotent frustration, rampant paranoia and myopic rage. Objective praise doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video official what a brave innovation. What? They still do not exist despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the wrath of at least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmony lets just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg (despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia.)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg (yes, I realise hes now gone) and Michael Oliver would be in the top three. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg: Michael Oliver gets my vote, capped by punishing Manchester Uniteds cynical rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup.
Simon Burnton: Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best referee in the land, which is unappealing, but that doesnt make him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have mannerisms as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons: Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson usually get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding referee in the country. Still only 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more matches (31) than anyone else and issued just two red cards.
Sachin Nakrani: Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong view on referees. They all seem roughly the same and their mistakes, while occasionally astonishing, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor: Mamadou Sakho. People laughed when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces player of the season award. But without him Palace would be down.
Barney Ronay: Leroy San. What a lovely mover, what a calm head, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be.
Dominic Fifield: NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved.
Paul Wilson: Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Hardly the best value signing, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury struck he did what he had been brought in to do.
Amy Lawrence: Hard to argue with Kant for overall impact. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces predicament, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who looks bound to shine more for Manchester City in future.
Barry Glendenning: NGolo Kant.
David Hytner: David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad hair lies an intelligent reader of the game. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long passing remains beautiful to watch.
Scott Murray: Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to rattle in an absurd number of goals. Had he not picked up that injury in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 departure. Costing 30m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, dominant 23-year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and looking certain for relegation when they appointed their third manager of the campaign in January. Astute signings such as Tom Carroll and convincing a squad to buy into yet another managerial voice enabled the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can shape a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have sunk without Baillys central defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his tracks. The defender transformed Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious piece of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans impact at Leicester the season before. With that in mind, and taking it account the size of the fee, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg: On the basis that signing Kant was a no-brainer after last seasons exploits, one has to admire Chelsea for making the return of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were plenty of doubts about the Brazilian when he signed on deadline day.
Simon Burnton: Crystal Palace won six of the 30 games they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee appeared, keeping five clean sheets in the process (counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless minutes and they conceded in the 78th). No other signing was so transformational.
Paul Doyle: Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour.
Ed Aarons: Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30m, who transferred from one blue title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price.
Sachin Nakrani: Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who thought the 35-year-old, while undeniably talented, would struggle in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of the best free transfers in Premier League history.
Worst flop
Daniel Taylor: Pep Guardiola. Maybe our expectations were too high but, after all that waiting, it has been a real disappointment. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which probably illustrates the point.
Barney Ronay: Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an ironic round of applause from his own fans for making a save.
Dominic Fifield: Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Guardiola: Barcelona and Bayern Munich would have sacked me video
Paul Wilson: The man who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015-16 player of the year and inspiration for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving.
Amy Lawrence: Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to mount a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite recruiting heavily last summer to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Tasked with his most difficult job in management so far, even by his own admission the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.
David Hytner: Simone Zaza. His ludicrous penalty at the Euros for Italy was merely the prelude. Saw his loan spell at West Ham United cut short after 11 matches and no goals because, had he played a bit more, the club would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January.
Scott Murray: Pep Guardiola arrived in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in press conferences. His glorious disdain for daft questions has at times shone through this was simply majestic but not yet with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps rattled, though, if the repeated raising of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola probably blew Manchester Citys hopes of winning anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and paying 14.5m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola envisaged his first season in the Premier League and served only to undermine it. That is not to say it was a mistake to replace Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, only that Bravo was the wrong choice.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of persuading Spurs to part with 30m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to deceive. Indeed when HMRC recently raided St James Park, club staff joked about whether they were investigating the theft of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the mix here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all come to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17m goalkeeper, is surely the standout candidate. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Dr. Keith Ablow: Seventeen ways to improve your life in 2017
FILE — (AP)
Last year, as 2016 debuted, I published, 16 ways to improve your life. The year before that, I published 15 ways to improve your life. You get the idea. The tradition continues this year, with the addition of number 17. Ive also added bits and pieces to some of the 16 items from last year, just to keep you on your toes.
New Years resolutions often lose their power so quickly and completely that they have become cliché. But there are real, easily achieved ways to positively impact your life beginning January 1.
Heres your cheat sheet of 17 for 2017. They arent in any particular order, so you can pick any one to start with.
If you complete just five, youll notice a demonstrable improvement in your existence. But if you get through nine of them, you could remake your life.
1. Try to recall one dream you had as a kid whether it was being a poet or a rock drummer or a multimillionaire stock trader and take just a single step in that direction. So often, the ideas we had as children were good ones, and we abandoned them out of fear. The step in the direction of your childhood dream can be very modest signing up for a symposium on poetry, scheduling a single drum lesson, buying a DVD on stock trading. Even just telling two people about your quiet dream can move it forward. Frozen dreams have a way of thawing out rapidly when you warm them just a tiny bit.
2. Think of your life story, going all the way back to infancy, as an autobiographical book that you can hold in your hands. Now, imagine which page or paragraph you are tempted to tear out and remove from the story. That page or paragraph might be the one that makes you feel profoundly sad or powerless or guilty or ashamed. Next, share it with someone who knows you well but has never heard about that event or phase in your life. Being willing to disclose the events in life we want to turn a blind eye to takes away the power those events have over us.
3. Give a meaningful gift to a friend of yours on a random day not his birthday or her anniversary or Christmas. Giving gifts on those days is fine, but that isnt the same as an unexpected, unscheduled gift. Those are the ones that feel riskier to give and have more power to bond you to others who receive them. And thats because theyre real and independent expressions of friendship, affection, admiration or love.
4. Send handwritten notes to three people you admire most in the world, no matter how powerful or famous, tell them sincerely exactly why you admire them and ask to meet for 10 minutes. Theres a real chance one of them will take you up on the offer. And that one meeting could change you, because great energy is contagious and being in the company of it can stay with you.
5. Give some amount (no matter how small) to the charity you care most about. Giving is a miracle, because it helps others while also telling your unconscious mind that yours is a life of abundance, not scarcity. And that invites more treasures into your existence. Heres one I just gave to, which I happen to know is completely legit and does great work: kulturecity.org.
6. Stop telling yourself you love people just because you grew up with them. This is a big one, but a really important one. Did your parents and siblings earn your love by unconditionally loving you as a child? If so, great. But if youve been wishing that had been the case and have felt unwilling to let the dream of having had unconditionally loving parents or siblings slip away, then loosen your grip. If the people you grew up with werent focused on helping you stay true to yourself, then admit it to yourself. You might stop unconsciously recruiting people just like them into your life.
7. Schedule an initial psychotherapy session. Psychotherapy is the gold standard way to begin to get to know yourself more deeply. In a world of distractions and depersonalization, it remains the technique most reliably focused on restoring your connection to your true self. Hopefully, that first session will convince you of the power of psychotherapy to change your life, and youll schedule more. No one with the financial ability to be in psychotherapy should deny himself or herself that transformational opportunity.
8. Get angry about something unfair, say so out loud and dont stand for it. Anger gets a really bad rap in our culture; its accused of everything from destroying people spiritually to causing heart attacks. But suppressed anger can be more toxic. When youre offended by something you hear about in the news or you see unfolding in your personal life, try saying so, in no uncertain terms, when youre asked about it or maybe even if you arent. For those of you who have been living lives of quiet frustration, letting yourselves be very direct and very mad about something that sincerely outrages you can start to crack the shell that has your most powerful self inside it.
9. Take two minutes to think about life as a labyrinth. Mazes are built to frustrate people and get them lost. Theyre full of dead ends designed to make people give up and call for helicopters to pluck them out. Not so with labyrinths. Labyrinths may wind this way and that way. They may take you far from where you thought you were heading. But they always, always lead to the center. And thats what life is like. Keep walking, keep your faith and life will take you where you are supposed to go. The turn toward the center could be just a few steps away, when you least expect it.
10. Try praying, at least once. If you havent prayed ever or havent prayed lately, youll discover that the act of praying for what you care deeply about has the effect of reminding you what that thing or those things really are. It also has the effect of reminding you that there is a great power in the universe that you are a part of. Theres something interesting about praying; even people who say they dont believe in God are loathe to pray for the opposite of what they really want. How come? Is it because that, underneath all that cynicism, they actually do believe?
11. Read “Franny and Zooey” by J.D. Salinger, “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, Self Creation by the great psychologist George Weinberg (used copies available online), “Blue Dog” by George Rodrigue, or “Fear God and Take Your Own Part,” by Theodore Roosevelt (or, even better, all five). These five volumes have the power to transform people, and I keep handing them out to patients and friends (along with please forgive the narcissism my book, “Living the Truth”). If youre really short on time or intention, just read the Afterword to a later edition of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert Pirsig.
12. Buy one piece of original art. It doesnt need to be expensive. It just needs to appeal to you. Why? Because art is the antidote to our sometimes sterile, technologically driven culture. It makes humanity go viral in a way that YouTube cant. It also confirms your connection to things that cant be measured like your personal vision of beauty. A good alternative is to create a piece of art. Just be sure to buy yourself the proper brushes or paints or glue or wood to create it. That will be a signal to yourself that you value what you are manifesting.
13. Watch the movie “Miracle,” with Kurt Russell. This film about the 1980 U.S. Olympic mens hockey team defeating Russias team is so good, it can convince you to take on the next great challenge in your life. I dont know anyone who has watched it and been unaffected by it. Also watch the closing argument by Paul Newman at the end of the film “The Verdict,” the scene of Sylvester Stallone and Talia Shire on the beach in “Rocky III,” the monologue by Al Pacino toward the end of the film “The Scent of a Woman” and any performance of God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. They can help make you a better person. No kidding.
14. Tell your romantic partner one thing you would find exciting that you have not yet told that person. In my experience as a therapist, Ive found that people can remain strangers to one another, in terms of passion, even after 10 or 20 years of marriage. We keep sexual secrets. Let one out. You can write it down and pass it to your partner as a note, like we did back in grade school, before cell phones. You can text it using a confidential messaging app like Wickr. See what happens. Take the risk.
15. Stand up for someone else. Youll have the opportunity in 2017. I promise. Maybe in your home. Maybe in your neighborhood. Maybe at work. Maybe online. Defending someone will reassure that person and empower you.
16. Take 17 minutes to pretend that you are speaking to yourself, from the heart, as though you are your own ideal parent. You can do this out loud, if you have the stage presence, or silently. An ideal parent is empathetic, but honest in assessing his child and giving that child advice. Sit yourself down, get very quiet and, then, tell yourselfwith the same care you would summon for a son or daughtertwo things you really admire about yourself and one very limiting, very disappointing thing about yourself you really wish you would try to change, because it could limit the whole rest of your life. That one thing should be so searingly on-target and so necessary that it has the power to make you angry, make you anxious, bring you to tears or bring you to your knees. Focusing about twice as long (say, 10 minutes) on the admirable qualities is something youd do for your kid, to take the sting out of the next 7 minutes, so do that for yourself. And keep in mind that 17 minutes is a long time. Youll be tempted to avoid it or shorten it. But, you shouldnt.
17. If you are a parent, resolve to mimic a habit I stumbled upon, when my kids were younger. It really helps me stay balanced during times that might, otherwise, cause me lots of stress. Here it is: Whenever I get a phone call or an email or a text from someone telling me a project of mine or a goal or a relationship has hit a rough patch, I tell myself, silently, Yeah, well this isnt like a pediatrician calling me. What I mean is that, short of bad news about a child of mine, coming from a pediatrician (or, if your kids are older, like mine, an internal medicine doctor), nothing can really rock me. Because all of us parents know exactly how much time we would have for what seem like the big problems of our day or our week, if the phone rang, and a doctor on the other end said something like, Can I ask where you are? Because Ive seen your son, and I have something serious to talk with you about. Id like you to come in. Id have no time for all my other so-called problems, and neither would you. So, things are actually better than we actually realize, most all of the time.
So, there are your 17 keys to making 2017 a transformational year. I give them to you with the certain knowledge that you still have, inside you, all the wonderful potential you did the very first day you were born. You havent lost one bit of it. Its all there, just waiting for you to discover it.
Dont delay. Start on the list January 1, and by this time next year, God willing, youll be ready for the 18 steps for 2018. Life is like that: a never-ending process of self-improvement.
Dr. Keith Ablow is a psychiatrist and member of the Fox News Medical A-Team.
Read more: http://fxn.ws/2iBzmPc
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season examine: our novelists’ most effective and worst
Our scribes take stock after the Premier League season, reputation the most appropriate player, finest objective, most entertaining competitor, biggest objection and much more
Best participate
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to continue Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the style, but Harry Kane has been the superb single player: top scorer, crew “mens and” with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes substitution in system, supported the cut and thrust which induced Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he strove with a hip objection, his revitalization was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It likely doesnt topic which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing thoughts around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any position in all the regions of the back position and his consistency and tenacity are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you are able bottle the spirit of Kant and market it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to build others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The mode he carried his Leicester quality so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantaneously, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Only in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to tempt Joe Hart on lend to Wearside, the 23 -year-old pulled off the impressive accomplishment of becoming himself one of “the worlds largest” sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite playing in the Premier Leagues worst squad. Although hes prone to the increasingly uncommon error, its difficult to select faults in any aspect of Pickfords overall game and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been relegated before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. His ability to move certain differences when it matters the most commemorates him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa prevented Chelsea going throughout the autumnal journey that are actually decided the league, all the while remain in reference as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining proximity where reference is exited.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League points at 175 minutes per impres for a No10 is top class. At 21, a participate with that edge all elite actors own has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champions were not simply a very defensive squad, as a former manager carry sour grapes advocated. They were also the most devastating and smart crew in the final third thanks primarily to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Picture: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, candidates but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five rings of the tournament ladder in consecutive seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being shifted from a wide capacity to central midfield this expression, the intelligence of Clucass extending tolerates the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuasion him not to give up the game before sharpening his knowledge at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly baffled the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 destinations. For a musician to repeatedly create and rating so many objectives in a unit that expended virtually the entire season pushing relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last-place seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in stimulating form and noted the compatibility to go with his outrageous talent. NGolo Kant was a deserving recipient of the PFA and FWA apportions, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last seasons champions lost their lane, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 demolish by Spurs but, taking a broader opinion, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these distressed times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season accolades currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for triumphing a second consecutive Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to shape coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas exclusively sincere challengers. Even 13 assists and eight Premier League goals do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta likewise deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League destinations and, quite simply, without him they would have been relegated, suffering all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes parties losing their jobs.
Best director
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to subvert him. How, maybe, can anyone question what he has to be undertaken to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved endorse crew, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on match daytimes remains the most ludicrously elicited humanity about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with upper-class administrators, he adapted good to the peculiarities of the Premier League and ceased up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief visit to dreamland there seems no part in searching past the obvious. Antonio Conte is more difficult to have hoped for a better first season in England. In words of wallop, it says it all that he can now accord Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League preserve of triumphs in a season.
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Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first competition of the Premier League campaign where reference is celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline feeling, he has managed almost every situation with expert, class and form. In tactical mutations and gentleman handling, creating best available out of references as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he just missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline behaviour of a humanity who has just had a large few of red ants descended down the trousers of his expensive decorator dres, there is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His was changed to a back three in the wake of defeat at Arsenal has been hailed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in its own history of football and while that are able to be over-egging the pudding moderately, the manner in which he steered his team to the deed with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his evaluate was no mean feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another tremendously impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has been better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful gesture to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high-pitched tournament placing and yet another cup final, somehow preserved super-human levels of glory despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An extraordinary feat. His is likely to be much the better sound when this history is told 20 years from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 conference points and may prevail the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out alternative , is not simply for prevailing the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential emergencies notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong event while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva made ocean into wine-coloured in eastern Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play marvelous football on around half the collective wage greenback of other top six surfaces, but preventing Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Payed the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley “ve never” truly been threatened with relegation this season so good has their home model been. Photo: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Immensely impressive to acquire the deed in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of joy for video games and gives the impression that every musician, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A nod to Sean Dyche for remaining Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outshone his competitors by recreating a misfiring, uneven crew with the influence of his motivational tones, tactical acumen and virulent will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham have once again working under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes influence at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian only been able to reach Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first competition of the season but has emerged as a deed winner in his first season in English football. The was changed to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management sciences in are working with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Triumphing the title in your first season in England is a superb achievement, particularly where reference is involves reinvigorating a force that had been in turmoil in the previous campaign.
Best objective
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds extending scorpion attack, a charming move and a outlandish finish, made all the more improbable by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a bit higher, like a very potent man trying to jiggled his practice over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to accompanying him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more worried about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some whip for wow cause. Not a team purpose, perhaps, but Carroll applied a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in video games that find so influential for the entitlement. What a fine squad aim. The character of Cesc Fbregass flow and pass for Willian summarized up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they felt undeniably like endorses again.
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Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Perhaps not best available, but almost certainly the only thing of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo try transported goal-shy Boro on their space to their first residence prevail. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange hesitancy of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to open him down, the Uruguayan started on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting residence. Buoyed by this rare instant of quality and brainchild, Middlesbrough went on to prevail three more Premier League accords, while their increasingly unpopular summertime subscribe would go on to tallied exclusively one more objective as his surface sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing are competent to draw mouth to the floor more quickly than the thundering scissor knock. Specially whilst it is executed by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so nonsensical its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long cavort that preceded it, embellished by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott scored against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian makes croak a winging back-heeled barrage. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other purposes carried more weight in the context of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable samples but based purely on its merits this fleeting remember of the quality the France international could bring to the Premier League “havent had” equates.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 sicken opening-day win against the defend endorses for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys inhuman cross, the projectile descended to Snodgrass whose first-time, left hoofed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom area.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle knock against Watford must take some flogging. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can makes hover with a sumptuous overhead knock against Watford. Photo: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever trick and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the breather away to those used scorpion knocks and bicycle blasts. But in an otherwise frightful season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a uncommon instant of excitement clears it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kicking wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few competitive volleys that compare with it, but to my head it is the best of the cluster. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit luck. It was the only act I could do. I tried to punched it with a backheel and after it was all about luck, but by March he was saying: I dont want to large-hearted myself up but destinations like mine leave a mark on record. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kick] is impressive, but perhaps people wont remember it in two years day. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a blaze of a room to grasp a late equaliser, prepared a wonderful evidence and reassure Jos Mourinho he could ultimately jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of impressive attacks, Emre Can saved best available for last-place. His brilliant overhead kick against Watford left good-for-nothing to chance, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of conspicuous scorpion/ overhead kicks, this one peripheries it because of the slick counter-attack that predated it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the altitude at which boot assembled dance prior to it looping into the net.
Best competition
Daniel Taylor : At health risks of announcing like a sorrow, its not easy to think of a stand-out coincide this season. Nothing left me as aroused as, say, recognizing Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and frantic at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces acquire at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling nature of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were superb going forward, playing wonderfully incisive and inventive football. Palace represented ruggedly and, somehow, obstructed them out. Paul Wilson : The one that lodges in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An fateful and entertaining game, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola moaning about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant deed arrow at the Etihad too, for the second largest succeeding season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, marvelous, beautiful, panicked madness. The good of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a intrepid look. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated play. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer tallies during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 succes over Crystal Palace. Photo: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never mind the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the situations after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a few months or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It actually wouldnt have taken often for this recreation to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend perforated a fault in the designation pretenses of Jrgen Klopps team and proposed Sean Dyches gentlemen would survive. Those auguries were attested correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League pairs listened, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many concludes. In Ronald Koemans seeings it was really perfect and a total team achievement from Everton. It confirmed the arrival of Tom Davies, who tallied his first goal for the sorority with an exquisite microchip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and wreaked a entry objective for Ademola Lookman with one of the adolescents first styles in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, nonetheless, it stressed the defensive and mental infirmities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament win of his managerial job and left him acknowledging the deed was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this represents watched live, its a difficult one to rebuttal. As north-east reporter Ive certainly ensure a few nominees for worst play at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the very best ones I covered invariably concerned Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier recreation does stick in the recall though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller peculiarity a brilliant, mesmerising achievement from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes persisting then all blaze let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective administrators, went through every passion running and, in truth, it wasnt genuinely remarkable that neither guy lasted long long in the number of jobs. For what its worth, the reporters at the game were also in a horrid country come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about tallying four goals in a single half that they didnt win another game until they were already relegated. In their defence, Ive only just recovered from the startle as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 win at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you are able request it to be and more. Excellent attacking, exquisite purposes from open play, a lush free kick, brilliant man science, humiliating manager-hugging festivities, sunshine, it had the plenty. The only possible reaction was yes satisfy, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither crew could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and from time to time bright, but also ludicrous, outrageous and laughable. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Contributing 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have experienced pretty good. His squad had just duelled back from 3-1 down with exclusively 15 hours remaining to lead, only to surrender the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter merely let down by poor stop. A mention, very, for Swanseas 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that watched two points in strike age and Alan Pardew horror the worst.
Best umpire
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I witness his criticisms of the present crop and marvel that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional humor, when he needles for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all examine the same to me. Gives say Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the star as much as some. He is a perception of missing the best competition possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a thought of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellowed placard paid attention to Ross Barkley was a situation of grace. Photo: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong sorrows on the two categories this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent annoyance, raging paranoia and myopic violence. Objective praise doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video officer what a fearless innovation. What? They still do not prevail despite everybody else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the indignation of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmony gives just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now started) and Michael Oliver would be in the three best. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver gets my vote, capped by penalizing Manchester Uniteds contemptuous rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best reviewer in the district, which is unappealing, but that doesnt draw him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one aimed at ensuring respect for the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And engineering will never have affectations as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson generally get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the superb referee in the country. Still exclusively 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more matches( 31) than anyone else and issued just two red posters. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong sentiment on reviewers. They all seem approximately the same and their mistakes, while rarely astonishing, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. Beings chortled when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces player of the season apportion. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a exquisite mover, what a calm premier, what a neat young man. Seems to have no real restriction to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant is critical for Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Barely the best appraise contract, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury impressed he did what he had been brought in to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall wallop. Honorable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces quandary, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who gazes bound to glisten more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad mane lies an smart reader of video games. Has exceeded in the middle of a back three. Long passing remains beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to clang in an outrageous number of purposes. Had he not picked up that hurt in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 difference. Expensing 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, dominant 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and examining particular for relegation when they appointed their third director of the campaign in January. Astute ratifies such as Tom Carroll and persuading a force to buy into yet another managerial singer facilitated the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that they are able chassis a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have subsided without Baillys central defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his tracks. The guard transformed Crystal Palace after his lend move from Liverpool. Picture: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious slouse of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans affect at Leicester the season before. With that in imagination, and taking it account the size of the cost, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that subscribe Kant was a no-brainer after last seasons exploits, one has to admire Chelsea for moving the recall of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were plenty of doubts concerning the Brazilian when he signed on deadline date. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace prevailed six of the 30 tournaments they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee seemed, maintaining five clean expanses in the process( weighing their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless hours and they admitted in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard discussing this with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who conveyed from one off-color title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who felt the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would strive in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of best available free assigns in Premier League history.
Worst flop
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Perhaps our apprehensions were too high but, after all that waiting, it has been a real frustration. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which probably exemplifies the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an ironic round of applause from his own followers for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come just as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Paul Wilson : The mortal who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 musician of its first year and muse for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly apportioned to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to setting a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite recruiting heavily last-place summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in management so far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City administrator has come up woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His outlandish sanction at the Euros for Italy was simply the prelude. Saw his lend incantation at West Ham United cut short after 11 equals and no goals because, had he played a little bit more, the fraternity would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola reached in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in press conference. His splendid condescension for daft wonders has at times glint through this was simply magnificent but has still not been with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps clanged, though, if the repeated raising of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola possibly blew Manchester Citys the expectations of prevailing anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and paying 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola foresaw his first season in the Premier League and only serve to erode it. That is not to say it was a mistake to supersede Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, exclusively that Bravo was the incorrect choice.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of persuading Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to fool. Surely when HMRC lately raided St James Park, club personnel joked about whether they were investigating the crime of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the concoction here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all come to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout nominee. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season review: our scribes’ best and worsts
Our columnists take stock after the Premier League season, reputation their best musician, finest destination, most entertaining equal, biggest objection and much more
Best musician
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he can hinder Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the mode, but Harry Kane has been the superb single participate: top scorer, squad man and with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switch in arrangement, provided the cut and thrust which stimulated Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last-place season as he struggled with a hip disorder, his resurrection was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It perhaps doesnt affair which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing events around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any plight in all the regions of the back way and his consistency and firmnes are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and grocery it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to build others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The practice he carried his Leicester quality so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Simply in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to tempt Joe Hart on lend to Wearside, the 23 -year-old attracted off the impressive feat of doing himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst crew. Although hes prone to the increasingly rare gaffe, its hard to picking faults in different aspects of Pickfords overall activity and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been demoted before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. His ability to attain certain differences when it matters the most brands him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa deterred Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that are actually chose the conference, all the while staying in persona as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining proximity when hes moved.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League points at 175 minutes per strike for a No10 is top class. At 21, a player with that hem all society participates possess has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champions were not simply a very defensive crew, as a former director bear sour grapes shown. They were also the most devastating and smart squad in the final third thanks predominantly to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Photo: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, campaigners but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five resounds of the league ladder in successive seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being changed from a wide character to central midfield this period, the intelligence of Clucass guiding makes the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who coaxed him not to give up the game before sharpening his knowledge at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly baffled the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 points. For a actor to continually create and rating so many purposes in a squad that spent nearly the entire season engaging relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in thrilling form and acquired the uniformity to go with his outrageous endowment. NGolo Kant was a deserving recipient of the PFA and FWA honors, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last-place seasons champions lost their road, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 demolish by Spurs but, taking a broader view, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these troubled times.
Simon Burnton : The bright, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season apportions currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for acquiring two seconds succeeding Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to shape coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas exclusively genuine challengers. Even 13 expedites and eight Premier League objectives do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international immediately contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League objectives and, very simply, without him they would have been relegated, standing all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes people losing their jobs.
Best manager
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at the least trying to subvert him. How, perhaps, can anyone question what he has to be undertaken to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champ squad, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on match daytimes remains the most ludicrously roused male about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a tournament crammed with society administrators, he accommodated excellent to the peculiarities of the Premier League and terminated up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief stay to dreamland there seems no part in gazing past the obvious. Antonio Conte is more difficult to have hoped for a better first season in England. In words of blow, it says it all that he can now pair Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League register of winnings in a season.
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Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first tournament of the Premier League expedition when he celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline infatuation, he has managed almost every situation with power, class and mode. In tactical differences and soul handling, creating the best out of attributes as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he just missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline behavior of a being who has just had a large few of ruby-red ants put down the trousers of his expensive designer clothing, the issue is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three in the aftermath of defeat at Arsenal has been hailed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that are able to be over-egging the pudding somewhat, the manner in which he steered his team to the entitlement with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his amount was no mean feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another staggeringly impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has been better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful gesture to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high-pitched league set and yet another cup final, somehow continued super-human levels of dignity despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An amazing accomplishment. His will be much the better examine when this history is told 20 years from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 tournament objectives and may acquire the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out choice , not only for acquiring the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential crisis notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong action while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva diverted sea into wine-coloured in east Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play spectacular football on around half the collective wage proposal of other top six backs, but obstructing Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Given the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley “ve never” certainly been threatened with relegation this season so good has their dwelling form been. Photo: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Tremendously impressive to prevail the deed in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of passion for the game and get the impression that every player, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A gesture to Sean Dyche for hindering Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it must continue to be Conte, who outperformed his rivals by resurrecting a misfiring, uneven squad with the strength of his motivational qualities, tactical acumen and virulent will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham was again working under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes influence at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian simply been able to reach Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first tournament of the season but has emerged as a entitle winner in his first season in English football. The switch to 3-4-3 shall determine Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management sciences in are working with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Winning the deed in your first season in England is a superb achievement, specially where reference is involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil in the previous campaign.
Best purpose
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds loping scorpion attack, a exquisite move and a incongruous finish, made all the more preposterous given the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a exceedingly potent person trying to moved his channel over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to producing him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more concerned about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some lash for wow influence. Not a crew goal, perhaps, but Carroll threw a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in a game that seemed so influential for the claim. What a fine squad aim. The quality of Cesc Fbregass move and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they seemed undeniably like champs again.
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Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Maybe not the best, but almost certainly the only thing of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo struggle sent goal-shy Boro on their acces to their first residence winning. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange distaste of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to end him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting dwelling. Buoyed by this rare time of quality and brainchild, Middlesbrough went on to prevail three more Premier League pairs, while their increasingly unpopular summer signal would go on to tallied only one more point as his back sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing are competent to produce jaws to the flooring more rapidly than the pulsate scissor knock. Specially when it is carried out by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so outrageous its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long cavort that preceded it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian makes start a operating back-heeled barrage. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other purposes carried more weight in the framework of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable illustrations but based purely on its merits this fleeting reminder of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equates.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 startle opening-day win against the defending champs for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys nasty cross, the projectile fell to Snodgrass whose first-time, left footed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom reces.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle knock against Watford must take some whip. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can gives fly with a sumptuous overhead kicking against Watford. Photo: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a inventive stunt and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the sigh away with those scorpion kickings and bicycle explodes. But in an otherwise gruesome season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a uncommon time of excite acquires it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kicking wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival barrages that compare with it, but to my head it is the best of the cluster. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after video games he said he was a bit luck. It was the only situation I could do. I tried to affected it with a backheel and after it was all about fluke, but by March he was saying: I dont wishes to big myself up but aims like mine leave a mark on biography. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kick] is magnificent, but perhaps beings wont remember it in two years era. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a inferno of a path to grasp a late equaliser, specified a wonderful enter and convince Jos Mourinho he could lastly jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of spectacular volleys, Emre Can saved the best for last. His brilliant overhead kick against Watford left nothing to luck, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of notable scorpion/ overhead knocks, this one hems it because of the slick counter-attack that predated it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the altitude at which boot satisfied pellet prior to it looping into the net.
Best coincide
Daniel Taylor : At health risks of sounding like a squalor, its not easy to think of a stand-out competitor this season. Nothing left home as roused as, say, witnessing Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and desperate at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces acquire at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling sort of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were exquisite going forward, playing wonderfully perceptive and inventive football. Palace protected ruggedly and, somehow, continued them out. Paul Wilson : The one that remains in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and witty play, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola sobbing about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A substantial entitle pointer at the Etihad too, for the second succeeding season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, superb, beautiful, panicked madness. The best of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a brave look. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated play. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer scores during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 succes over Crystal Palace. Photograph: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never thoughts the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the stages after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time win seems to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a month or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It truly wouldnt have taken often for this play to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a pit in the claim pretenses of Jrgen Klopps team and showed Sean Dyches humanities would survive. Those auguries were proven correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League coincides attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park digests out for numerous rationales. In Ronald Koemans seeings it was really perfect and a total crew achievement from Everton. It supported the rise of Tom Davies, who tallied his first goal for the squad with an elegant microchip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and created a introduction goal for Ademola Lookman with one of the teens first strokes in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, nonetheless, it highlighted the defensive and mental infirmities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest conference defeat of his managerial profession and left him agreeing the deed was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this symbolizes watched live, its a difficult one to explanation. As north-east reporter Ive surely understood a few candidates for worst activity at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier recreation does stick in the memory though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller peculiarity a bright, mesmerising recital from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 hours standing then all inferno let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective directors, went through every passion disappearing and, in truth, it wasnt really surprising that neither serviceman lasted long long in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at the game were also in a horrific district come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another tournament until they were already relegated. In their defense, Ive only just recovered from the surprise as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 prevail at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you are able expect it to be and more. Superb attacking, wonderful points from open play-act, a spectacular free kick, bright soul ability, humiliating manager-hugging celebrations, sunshine, it had the batch. The only possible reaction was yes please, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, sadly, neither crew could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and now and then brilliant, but also ludicrous, outrageous and laughter. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Extending 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have experienced pretty good. His squad had just battled back from 3-1 down with exclusively 15 times remaining to lead, merely to surrender the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling meeting merely let down by poverty-stricken finishing. A mention, very, for Swanseas 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that learnt two goals in halt era and Alan Pardew dreading the worst.
Best referee
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I witness his disapprovals of the present crop and wonder that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional comedy, when he leaves for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all search the same to me. Gives say Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the whiz as much as some. He is a perception of craving the best recreation possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a happening of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellowish card paid attention to Ross Barkley was a event of charm. Photo: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong sensations on the category this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent thwarting, rampant paranoia and myopic storm. Objective accolade doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video bureaucrat what a brave invention. What? They still do not prevail despite everybody else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the rage of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmonization lets just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now become) and Michael Oliver would be in the three best. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver get my poll, capped by penalizing Manchester Uniteds contemptuous rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best ref in the property, which is unappealing, but that doesnt shape him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have quirks as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson generally get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding umpire in the two countries. Still only 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more competitors( 31) than anyone and problem precisely two red cards. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong attitude on refs. They all seem roughly the same and their mistakes, while rarely startling, never tempt me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. People chuckled when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces actor of the season gift. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a delightful mover, what a calm head, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant is critical for Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Scarcely the best cost ratify, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury struck he did what “hes been” brought in to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall impact. Honest mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces situation, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who seems bound to glisten more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad mane lies an intelligent reader of the game. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long travel abides beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to clang in an outrageous number of goals. Had he not picked up that trauma in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have replenished the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 deviation. Expensing 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, reigning 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were foot and searching particular for relegation when they appointed their third administrator of the campaign in January. Astute contracts such as Tom Carroll and persuading a crew to buy into yet another managerial tone permitted the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can influence a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheaps but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have dropped without Baillys center defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his ways. The champion changed Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious patch of business on Chelseas part, having regard to the Frenchmans impact at Leicester the season before. With that in sentiment, and taking it account the size of the cost, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that signing Kant was a no-brainer after last-place seasons exploits, one has to admire Chelsea for seeing the reappearance of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were slew of doubts concerning the Brazilian when he signed on deadline era. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace won six of the 30 games they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee appeared, keeping five clean membranes in the process( counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless times and they agreed in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard discussing this with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who moved from one blue-blooded title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who thought the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would struggle in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of the best free transportations in Premier League history.
Worst bust
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Maybe our beliefs were too high but, after all that awaiting, it has been a real chagrin. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which are likely exemplifies the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an sardonic round of applause from his own followers for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since growing Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Paul Wilson : The husband who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 participate of the year and inspiration for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to mount a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite banking heavily last summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in managing thus far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City director have put forward woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His ludicrous disadvantage at the Euros for Italy was simply the prelude. Saw his loan incantation at West Ham United break short after 11 coincides and no goals because, had he played a little bit more, the team would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola reached in England with a big honour … for being super-surly in news conference. His splendid dislike for daft topics has at times shone through this was simply stately but has still not been with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps clanged, though, if the repeated heighten of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola maybe blew Manchester Citys hopes of acquiring anything in his first season when bombarding out Joe Hart and compensating 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola envisaged his first season in the Premier League and only serve to erode it. That is not to say it was a mistake to supplant Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, simply that Bravo was the incorrect option.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of coaxing Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big its participation in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to cheat. Indeed when HMRC recently raided St James Park, club faculty joked about whether they were investigating the steal of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the combination here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all spring to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout candidate. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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The Guardian BTAG 9 TTBTAG 10 TT ATAG 4 TTall 402 news articles >> Premier League 2016 -1 7 season re-examine: our writers’ most effective and worst
Our scribes take stock after the Premier League season, appointing the most appropriate participate, finest goal, most entertaining match, biggest gripe and much more
Best actor
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to retain Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the way, but Harry Kane has been the superb single player: top scorer, unit “mens and” with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switching in plan, rendered the cut and thrust which inspired Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last-place season as he contended with a hip grievance, his resuscitation was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It perhaps doesnt topic which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing happenings around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any posture in all the regions of the back way and his consistency and obstinacy are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and marketplace it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to realize others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The acces he carried his Leicester qualities so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Exclusively in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was also able to seduce Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23 -year-old attracted off the impressive feat of constructing himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst unit. Even though he prone to the increasingly uncommon gaffe, its hard to collect defects in different aspects of Pickfords overall recreation and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been demoted before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. Its capability to stimulate the difference when it matters the most markers him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa obstructed Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that effectively chose the conference, all the while remain in persona as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining proximity when hes moved.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League purposes at 175 instants per impres for a No10 is top class. At 21, a participate with that shape all upper-class players possess has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champs were not simply a very defensive squad, as a former manager demeanour sour grapes suggested. They were also the most devastating and smart squad in the final third thanks primarily to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Picture: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, nominees but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five calls of the tournament ladder in subsequent seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being altered from a wide character to center midfield this word, the intelligence of Clucass delivering tolerates the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuaded him not to give up video games before honing his abilities at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly confounded the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 purposes. For a participate to continually create and rating so many objectives in a crew that invested almost the entire season pushing relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in thrilling form and obtained the firmnes to go with his outrageous aptitude. NGolo Kant was a worthwhile recipient of the PFA and FWA accolades, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last-place seasons champs lost their acces, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 demolish by Spurs but, taking a broader vistum, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these perturbed times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season bestows currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for prevailing two seconds subsequent Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to figure coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas only sincere challengers. Even 13 abets and eight Premier League purposes do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League objectives and, very simply, without him they would have been demoted, standing all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes people losing their jobs.
Best manager
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to subvert him. How, perhaps, can anyone question what he has done to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champion squad, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on accord eras remains the most ridiculously evoked soldier about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with society managers, he accommodated excellent to the peculiarities of the Premier League and culminated up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief trip to dreamland there seems no detail in seeming past the obvious. Antonio Conte is more difficult to have hoped for a better first season in England. In terms of blow, it says it all that he can now equal Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League evidence of wins in a season.
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Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first play of the Premier League campaign where reference is celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline feeling, he has managed almost every situation with expert, class and style. In tactical adjustments and human management, raising the best out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he just missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline behaviour of a male who has just had a large few of cherry-red ants plunged down the trousers of his expensive decorator suit, there is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three in the aftermath of defeat at Arsenal has been acclaimed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that may be be over-egging the pudding quite, the manner in which he steered his team to the deed with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his set was no aim feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another immensely impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has to get better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful gesture to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high-pitched conference place and yet another cup final, somehow preserved super-human high levels of glory despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An extraordinary stunt. His will be much the very best gaze when this story is told 20 years from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 league purposes and may win the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out alternative , is not simply for prevailing the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential junctures notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong action while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva revolved ocean into wine in eastern Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play marvelous football on about one half the collective compensation legislation of other top six slopes, but continuing Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Devoted the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley have never genuinely been threatened with relegation this season so good has their dwelling flesh been. Image: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Tremendously impressive to prevail the entitlement in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of fervour for video games and get the impression that every player, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A nod to Sean Dyche for retaining Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outperformed his adversaries by resurrecting a misfiring, uneven squad with the strength of his motivational tones, tactical acumen and virulent will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham have once again been under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes affect at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian only been able to reach Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first game of the season but has emerged as a name win in his first season in English football. The was changed to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management knowledge in are working with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Winning the deed in your first season in England is a superb achievement, specially when it involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.
Best objective
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds ranging scorpion attack, a lovely move and a incongruous finish, made all the more implausible by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a extremely potent human trying to moved his lane over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to fetching him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more worried about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some beat for wow ingredient. Not a crew goal, perhaps, but Carroll gave a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in video games that felt so influential for the deed. What a fine crew purpose. The tone of Cesc Fbregass lead and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they experienced undeniably like champs again.
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Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not best available, but almost certainly the only thing in the best interests any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo struggle cast goal-shy Boro on their way to their first dwelling triumph. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to close him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting home. Buoyed by this rare moment of quality and muse, Middlesbrough went on to win three more Premier League competitions, while their increasingly unpopular summertime signing would go on to tallied exclusively one more destination as his surface sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing has the ability to fetch jaws to the floor more quickly than the thundering scissor kick. Specially when it is carried out by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so ludicrous its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long cavort that predated it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian gives move a moving back-heeled attack. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other purposes carried more weight in the framework of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable instances but based purely on its merits this momentary remember of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 sicken opening-day succes against the defending champions for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys inhuman cross, the pellet descended to Snodgrass whose first-time, left hoofed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle knock against Watford must take some vanquish. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can makes move with a sumptuous overhead kick against Watford. Picture: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever manoeuvre and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the sigh away with those scorpion knocks and bicycle explodes. But in an otherwise gruesome season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a rare instant of exhilaration represents it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion knock wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival attacks that compare with it, but to my knowledge it is the best of the cluster. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after video games he said he was a bit luck. It was the only occasion I could do. I tried to reached it with a backheel and after it was all about fluke, but by March he was saying: I dont want to large-hearted myself up but goals like mine leave a mark on biography. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kicking] is splendid, but perhaps beings wont recalls that it in two years day. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a inferno of a acces to grasp a late equaliser, mounted a wonderful record and persuasion Jos Mourinho he had been able to finally jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of splendid barrages, Emre Can saved best available for last. His brilliant overhead kicking against Watford left good-for-nothing to opportunity, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of remarkable scorpion/ overhead kickings, this one boundaries it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the meridian at which boot encountered ball prior to it looping into the net.
Best competitor
Daniel Taylor : At the risk of reverberating like a affliction, its not easy to think of a stand-out coincide this season. Nothing left home as aroused as, say, ascertaining Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and desperate at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces prevail at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling sort of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were superb moving forward, playing wonderfully perceptive and inventive football. Palace represented ruggedly and, somehow, remained them out. Paul Wilson : The one that fastens in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and witty recreation, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola sighing about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant name pointer at the Etihad too, for the second largest succeeding season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, magnificent, beautiful, panicked madness. The better of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a courageous look. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated competition. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer tallies during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. Image: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never knowledge the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the vistums after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time win seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a few months or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It actually wouldnt have taken much for this activity to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a loophole in the entitle assertions of Jrgen Klopps team and intimated Sean Dyches males would live. Those auguries were proved correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League coincides accompanied, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many intellects. In Ronald Koemans attentions it was really perfect and a total unit rendition from Everton. It confirmed the arrival of Tom Davies, who tallied his first goal for the golf-club with an delicate microchip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and accompanied a entry purpose for Ademola Lookman with one of the teenagers first contacts in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, nonetheless, it highlighted the defensive and mental debilities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament overcome of his managerial busines and left him acknowledging the entitlement was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this represents watched live, its a difficult one to refute. As north-east correspondent Ive surely examined a few candidates for worst recreation at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier recreation does stick in the recall though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller boasting a bright, mesmerising concert from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes continuing then all blaze let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective administrators, went through every emotion departing and, in truth, it wasnt truly surprising that neither person lasted long long in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at video games were also in a awful commonwealth come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another tournament until they were already relegated. In their defence, Ive only just recovered from the stun as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 triumph at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could expect it to be and more. Good attacking, wonderful purposes from open play-act, a lovely free kick, brilliant being science, humiliating manager-hugging festivities, sunshine, it had the plenty. The only possible reaction was yes satisfy, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither unit could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times brilliant, but also ludicrous, outrageous and laughable. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Conducting 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have seemed pretty good. His crew had just duelled back from 3-1 down with simply 15 times remaining to lead, only to cede the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter only let down by poverty-stricken terminate. A mention, extremely, for Swanseas 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that encountered two objectives in strike time and Alan Pardew panicking the worst.
Best adjudicator
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I understand his disapprovals of the present harvest and wonder that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional humor, when he needles for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all look the same to me. Gives say Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the starring as much as some. He gives the impression of wanting best available activity possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a happen of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellow-bellied poster given to Ross Barkley was a occasion of elegance. Photo: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong concerns on the category this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent resentment, raging paranoia and myopic feeling. Objective praise doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video officer what a brave invention. What? They still do not subsist despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the indignation of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmony tells just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now departed) and Michael Oliver would be in the three best. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver gets my referendum, capped by penalise Manchester Uniteds cynical rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes consider this to be he thinks hes best available umpire in the estate, which is unappealing, but that doesnt become him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one aimed at ensuring respect for the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And engineering will never have foibles as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson frequently get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding ref in the country. Still simply 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more equals( 31) than anyone else and problem only two red-faced cards. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong look on reviewers. They all seem approximately the same and their mistakes, while occasionally astounding, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. People chortled when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces actor of the season bestow. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a wonderful mover, what a calm foreman, what a neat young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Barely the best evaluate subscribe, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury impressed he did what “hes been” “ve brought” to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall impact. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces situation, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who searches bound to reflect more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad hair lies an intelligent reader of video games. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long go stands beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to clang in an nonsensical number of destinations. Had he not picked up that injury in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 deviation. Costing 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, reigning 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and examining particular for relegation when they appointed their third director of the campaign in January. Astute signals such as Tom Carroll and persuasion a squad to buy into yet another managerial expression facilitated the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can determine a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have settled without Baillys center defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his trails. The champion altered Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant “wouldve been” up there, though it was a rather obvious portion of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans wallop at Leicester the season before. With that in subconsciou, and taking it account the size of the cost, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that ratify Kant was a no-brainer after last seasons manipulates, one has to admire Chelsea for building the restore of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were abundance of doubts about the Brazilian when he signed on deadline daylight. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace acquired six of the 30 competitions they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee seemed, stopping five clean sheets in the process( counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless hours and they acknowledged in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who transferred from one blue title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who believed the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would strive in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of best available free deliveries in Premier League history.
Worst bust
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Maybe our beliefs were too high but, after all that awaiting, it has been a real regret. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which probably illustrates the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an ironic round of applause from his own love for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come just as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Paul Wilson : The soldier who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 musician of its first year and inspiration for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to organize a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite banking heavily last-place summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in management in so far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His incongruous disadvantage at the Euros for Italy was simply the prologue. Saw his lend charm at West Ham United cut short after 11 competitions and no goals because, had he played a little bit more, the fraternity would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola reached in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in news conference. His glorious dislike for daft subjects has at times reflect through this was simply stately but not yet with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps sounded, though, if the repeated promote of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola maybe blew Manchester Citys hopes of prevailing anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and paying 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola foresaw his first season in the Premier League and served only to subvert it. That is not to say it was a mistake to replace Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, merely that Bravo was the incorrect selection.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of urging Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big its participation in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to mislead. Surely when HMRC lately attacked St James Park, club staff joked about whether they were investigating the theft of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the concoction here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all spring to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout candidate. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season critique: our scribes’ best and worsts
Our columnists take stock after the Premier League season, mentioning their best participate, finest purpose, most humorous coincide, biggest gripe and much more
Best player
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to remain Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the manner, but Harry Kane has been the outstanding single player: top scorer, crew man and with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes swap in arrangement, added the cut and thrust which invigorated Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he fought with a hip objection, his improvement was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It possibly doesnt stuff which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing acts around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any statu across the back wire and his consistency and diligence are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and grocery it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to form others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The space he carried his Leicester caliber so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instant, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Only in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was also able to enticement Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23 -year-old gathered off the impressive accomplishment of shaping himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst unit. Even though he prone to the increasingly uncommon error, its hard to select defects in different aspects of Pickfords overall competition and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been relegated before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. Its capability to form certain differences when it matters the most traces him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa kept Chelsea going throughout the autumnal journey that are actually chose the conference, all the while staying in attribute as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining attendance where reference is exited.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League aims at 175 hours per impres for a No10 is top class. At 21, a player with that hem all upper-class actors possess has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The endorses were not simply a extremely defensive squad, as a former manager endure sour grapes proposed. They were also the most devastating and smart team in the final third thanks mainly to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Image: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, campaigners but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five echoes of the tournament ladder in consecutive seasons it must continue to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being altered from a wide persona to center midfield this expression, the intelligence of Clucass transferring tolerates the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who urged him not to give up video games before sharpening his knowledge at his football establishment in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has exhaustively perplexed the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 points. For a musician to constantly create and tally so many destinations in a unit that expended nearly the entire season contending relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last-place seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in stimulating form and discovered the uniformity to go with his outrageous expertise. NGolo Kant was a worthwhile recipient of the PFA and FWA gifts, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last seasons endorses lost their way, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 demolish by Spurs but, taking a broader thought, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these agitated times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season apportions currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for acquiring a second subsequent Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to shape coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas merely genuine challengers. Even 13 abets and eight Premier League purposes do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta likewise deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international instantly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League purposes and, very simply, without him they would have been relegated, sustaining all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes beings losing their jobs.
Best director
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to undermine him. How, perhaps, can anyone question what he has to be undertaken to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champ team, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on pair daytimes remains the most ridiculously roused mortal about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a conference crammed with nobility administrators, he changed excellent to the peculiarities of the Premier League and aimed up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few weeks ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief visit to dreamland there seems no extent in appearing past the obvious. Antonio Conte could hardly have hoped for a better first season in England. In words of impact, it says it all that he can now equal Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League chronicle of wins in a season.
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Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first competition of the Premier League campaign when he celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline affection, he has managed almost every situation with permission, class and form. In tactical adjustments and being management, drawing best available out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he just missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline demeanor of a soldier who has just had a large handful of red ants declined down the trousers of his expensive decorator dres, the issue is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His was changed to a back three in the aftermath of defeat at Arsenal has been hailed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in its own history of football and while that may be be over-egging the pudding moderately, the way in which he steered his team to the entitlement with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his calibrate was no mean feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another hugely impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has to get better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful nod to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high conference grade and yet another cup final, somehow maintained super-human levels of glory despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An astonishing stunt. His is likely to be much the better examine when this story is told 20 times from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 tournament aims and may prevail the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out select , not only for acquiring the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential disasters notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong lawsuit while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva turned water into wine-coloured in east Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play marvelous football on about one half the collective payment invoice of other top six surfaces, but remaining Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Payed the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley have never genuinely been threatened with relegation this season so good has their residence figure been. Image: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Immensely impressive to triumph the entitlement in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of anger for the game and gives the impression that every musician, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A nod to Sean Dyche for preventing Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it must continue to be Conte, who outshone his contenders by resurrecting a misfiring, uneven crew with the superpower of his motivational qualities, tactical acumen and virulent will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham have once again working under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes affect at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian exclusively arrived at Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first tournament of the season but has emerged as a title win in his first season in English football. The switch to 3-4-3 shall determine Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management skills in are working with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Winning the deed in your first season in England is a superb achievement, especially where reference is involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil in the previous campaign.
Best aim
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds operating scorpion attack, a nice move and a ludicrous finish, made all the more preposterous by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a exceedingly stiff humankind trying to moved his method over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to bring him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more worried about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead knock against Crystal Palace takes some beating for wow influence. Not a crew objective, perhaps, but Carroll set a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in video games that felt so influential for the title. What a fine unit point. The caliber of Cesc Fbregass scamper and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they experienced undeniably like endorses again.
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Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not the best, but almost certainly the only thing of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo try transmitted goal-shy Boro on their behavior to their first home acquire. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to open him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting dwelling. Buoyed by this rare moment of quality and inspiration, Middlesbrough went on to prevail three more Premier League accords, while their increasingly unpopular summertime sign would go on to tallied simply one more purpose as his line-up sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing are competent to create jaws to the floor more quickly than the thundering scissor kick. Especially whilst it is carried out by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so ludicrous its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long romp that predated it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian tells travel a winging back-heeled barrage. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other destinations carried more weight in the framework of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable patterns but based purely on its merits this momentary remember of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 stupor opening-day victory against the represent endorses for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys hateful cross, the dance fell to Snodgrass whose first-time, left hoofed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom area.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle kick against Watford must take some hit. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can makes run with a sumptuous overhead kicking against Watford. Picture: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a ingeniou gimmick and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the sigh away with those scorpion kicks and bicycle blares. But in an otherwise frightful season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a rare time of exhilaration realizes it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kicking wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival volleys that compare with it, but to my judgment it is the best of the bunch. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit luck. It was the only occasion I could do. I tried to punched it with a backheel and after it was all about luck, but by March he was saying: I dont wishes to large-hearted myself up but objectives like mine leave a mark on history. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kicking] is splendid, but perhaps parties wont remember it in two years hour. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a blaze of a space to grasp a late equaliser, specified a wonderful register and persuade Jos Mourinho he could lastly jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of stunning attacks, Emre Can saved best available for last. His brilliant overhead knock against Watford left nothing to occasion, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of remarkable scorpion/ overhead kickings, this one borders it because of the slick counter-attack that predated it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the height at which boot satisfied dance prior to it looping into the net.
Best equal
Daniel Taylor : At the risk of reverberating like a calamity, its not easy to think of a stand-out competition this season. Nothing left home as aroused as, say, discovering Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and hopeless at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces prevail at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling nature of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were exquisite going forward, playing wonderfully perceptive and inventive football. Palace defended ruggedly and, somehow, maintained them out. Paul Wilson : The one that persists in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and entertaining activity, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola murmuring about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A substantial deed arrow at the Etihad too, for the second successive season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, magnificent, beautiful, panicked madness. The good of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a brave face. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated play. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer scores during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. Picture: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never mind the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the backgrounds after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seems to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a month or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It certainly wouldnt have taken much for the purposes of our activity to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend perforated a loophole in the name conceits of Jrgen Klopps team and recommended Sean Dyches mortals would live. Those auguries were attested correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League coincides attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for numerous rationales. In Ronald Koemans sees it was really perfect and a total crew execution from Everton. It demonstrated the emergence of Tom Davies, who scored his first point for the fraternity with an exquisite chipping over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and wreaked a debut aim for Ademola Lookman with one of the boys first signatures in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, nonetheless, it highlighted the defensive and mental fragilities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament demolish of his managerial career and left him confessing the entitlement was beyond his unit for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this necessitates watched live, its a difficult one to refute. As north-east correspondent Ive certainly investigated a few candidates for worst play at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the very best ones I covered invariably implied Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier tournament does stick in the retention though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller boasting a brilliant, mesmerising accomplishment from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 instants continuing then all hell let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective directors, went through every spirit moving and, in truth, it wasnt certainly remarkable that neither person lasted long long in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at video games were also in a ghastly district come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another play until they were already demoted. In their explanation, Ive only just recovered from the sicken as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 acquire at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you are able expect it to be and more. Good attacking, lovely purposes from open gambling, a dazzling free kick, brilliant soul skill, flustering manager-hugging occasions, sunshine, it had the spate. The only possible reaction was yes please, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither team could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times bright, but likewise outlandish, outrageous and ludicrous. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Passing 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have felt pretty good. His squad had just combated back from 3-1 down with only 15 times remaining to lead, simply to cede the points to Fernando Llorentes double in trauma time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling meeting only let down by poverty-stricken cease. A mention, more, for Swanseas 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that saw two points in stoppage meter and Alan Pardew fearing the worst.
Best referee
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I meet his analysis of the current harvest and marvel that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional slapstick, when he foliages for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all search the same to me. Lets say Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the idol as much as some. He gives the impression of missing the best game possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a occasion of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellowish card given to Ross Barkley was a happening of grace. Picture: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong appears on the two categories this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent exasperation, widespread paranoia and shortsighted storm. Objective accolade doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video officer what a intrepid innovation. What? They still do not exist despite everybody else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the displeasure of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of unison lets just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now extended) and Michael Oliver would be in the three best. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver gets my poll, capped by penalise Manchester Uniteds cynic rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best referee in the property, which is unappealing, but that doesnt establish him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have peculiarities as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson generally get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the superb umpire in the country. Still simply 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more accords( 31) than anyone and problem precisely two red-faced placards. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong viewpoint on referees. They all seem roughly the same and their mistakes, while rarely astounding, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. Parties laughed when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces actor of the season bestow. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a exquisite mover, what a calm pate, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real restraint to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the core of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Scarcely best available appreciate signing, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury impressed he did what he had been “ve brought” to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall affect. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces quandary, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great sign who examines bound to glisten more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad mane lies an intelligent reader of the game. Has exceeded in the middle of a back three. Long transfer remains beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to sounds in an outrageous number of objectives. Had he not picked up that hurt in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United seem to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 deviation. Expenditure 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, reigning 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were foot and seeming particular for relegation when they appointed their third manager of the campaign in January. Astute signals such as Tom Carroll and persuasion a crew to buy into yet another managerial spokesperson allowed the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can figure a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheaps but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have settled without Baillys central defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his racetracks. The champion transformed Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Image: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant “wouldve been” up there, though it was a rather obvious fragment of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans impact at Leicester the season before. With that in judgment, and taking it account the size of the cost, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that signal Kant was a no-brainer after last-place seasons exploits, one has to admire Chelsea for doing the yield of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were plenty of doubts concerning the Brazilian where reference is signed on deadline day. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace prevailed six of the 30 plays they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee sounded, preventing five clean expanses in the process( weighing their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless minutes and they relinquished in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who carried from one blue-blooded title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effects for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who conceived the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would struggle in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of the best free moves in Premier League history.
Worst bust
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Maybe our possibilities were too high but, after all that waiting, it has been a real displeasure. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which are likely represents the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive “ve ever seen” receive an sarcastic round of ovation from his own fans for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has barely pulled up any trees since growing Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come just as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Guardiola: Barcelona and Bayern Munich would have sacked me video
Paul Wilson : The being who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 participate of the year and muse for a stadium mural at the least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly apportioned to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to mount a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite recruiting heavily last summer to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Tasked with his most difficult job in management so far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His outlandish retribution at the Euros for Italy was simply the prelude. Saw his lend sorcery at West Ham United break short after 11 coincides and no goals because, had he played a bit more, the sorority would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola reached in England with a big honour … for being super-surly in press conferences. His splendid disdain for daft doubts has at times glint through this was simply magnificent but not yet with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps clanged, though, if the repeated conjure of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola maybe blew Manchester Citys hopes of triumphing anything in his first season when bombarding out Joe Hart and compensating 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola saw his first season in the Premier League and only serve to erode it. That is not to say it was a mistake to oust Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, only that Bravo was the incorrect select.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of influencing Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to cheat. Surely when HMRC lately attacked St James Park, club faculty joked about whether they were investigating the stealing of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the combination here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all spring to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout campaigner. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season critique: our writers’ most effective and worsts
Our writers take stock after the Premier League season, reputation the most appropriate actor, finest purpose, most entertaining match, biggest gripe and much more
Best musician
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to impede Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the style, but Harry Kane has been the outstanding single actor: top scorer, squad “mens and” with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes swap in arrangement, provisioned the cut and thrust which invigorated Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he struggled with a hip complaint, his resurrection was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It perhaps doesnt content which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing happens around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any prestige across the back boundary and his consistency and diligence are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you could bottle the minds of the Kant and sell it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to reach others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The lane he carried his Leicester character so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Merely in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to lure Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23 -year-old plucked off the impressive accomplishment of obliging himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst unit. Although hes prone to the increasingly rare error, its hard to picking faults in the various aspects of Pickfords overall game and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been demoted before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. Its capability to attain certain differences when it matters the most markers him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa continued Chelsea going throughout the autumnal journey that are actually decided the league, all the while staying in reference as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining proximity where reference is moved.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League aims at 175 times per ten-strike for a No10 is top class. At 21, a participate with that shape all nobility musicians own has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The endorses were not simply a exceedingly defensive unit, as a former administrator carry sour grapes recommended. They were also the most devastating and intelligent squad in the final third thanks predominantly to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Image: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, candidates but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five reverberates of the tournament ladder in successive seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being altered from a wide role to central midfield this expression, the intelligence of Clucass transferring accepts the specific characteristics of Glenn Hoddle, who coaxed him not to give up the game before honing his sciences at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has exhaustively perplexed the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 destinations. For a participate to repeatedly create and tally so many objectives in a crew that spent virtually the entire season engaging relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last-place seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in stimulating mode and noticed the consistency to go with his outrageous flair. NGolo Kant was a deserving recipient of the PFA and FWA awards, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last seasons endorses lost their method, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 win by Spurs but, taking a broader attitude, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these agitated times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season awards currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for triumphing a second consecutive Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to flesh coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas exclusively sincere challengers. Even 13 abets and eight Premier League points do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta likewise deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League points and, quite simply, without him they would have been demoted, tolerating all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes beings losing their jobs.
Best administrator
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to undercut him. How, maybe, can anyone question what he has to be undertaken to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champ squad, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on accord daytimes remains the most ridiculously evoked guy about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with nobility managers, he adapted excellent to the peculiarities of the Premier League and objective up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few weeks ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a short visit to dreamland there seems no item in ogling past the obvious. Antonio Conte could hardly have hoped for a better first season in England. In terms of impact, it tells it all that he can now match Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League record of winnings in a season.
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Antonio Conte: Chelsea’s brand-new Special One? video
Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first recreation of the Premier League expedition where reference is celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline heat, he has managed almost every situation with power, class and style. In tactical modifications and serviceman management, wreaking best available out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he scarcely missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline demeanour of a humanity who has just had a large few of blood-red ants discontinued down the trousers of his expensive designer dres, the issue is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three following the completion of defeat at Arsenal has been acclaimed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that are likely to be over-egging the pudding quite, the manner in which he steered his team to the title with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his measure was no aim feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another enormously impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has to get better. Took over a Chelsea squad with problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful nod to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high-pitched league place and yet another cup final, somehow retained super-human high levels of glory despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An astonishing feat. His is likely to be much the very best examine when this history is told 20 times from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 conference objectives and may acquire the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out selection , is not simply for triumphing the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential junctures notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong speciman while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva passed irrigate into wine-colored in east Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play superb football on around half the collective wage proposal of other top six backs, but preventing Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Payed the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley “ve never” truly been threatened with relegation this season so good has their residence chassis been. Photo: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Hugely impressive to triumph the deed in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of affection for the game and get the impression that every musician, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A nod to Sean Dyche for deterring Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outperformed his competitives by resurrecting a misfiring, uneven force with the influence of his motivational tones, tactical acumen and virulent are willing to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham was again working under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes wallop at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian simply been able to reach Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first activity of the season but has emerged as a entitle winner in his first season in English football. The was changed to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also demonstrated his man-management skills in its dealings with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Winning the entitle in your first season in England is a superb achievement, particularly when it commits reinvigorating a crew that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.
Best goal
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds operating scorpion attack, a charming move and a incongruous finish, made all the more preposterous by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a bit higher, like a very stiff serviceman trying to slunk his path over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to drawing him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more concerned about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kicking against Crystal Palace takes some lash for wow point. Not a crew objective, perhaps, but Carroll set a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that struck a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in video games that appeared so influential for the entitlement. What a fine unit point. The character of Cesc Fbregass lope and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they appeared undeniably like champs again.
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How the 2016 -1 7 Premier League title was prevailed by Chelsea video
Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Maybe not the best, but almost certainly the only happening in the best interests any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo struggle cast goal-shy Boro on their lane to their first dwelling prevail. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the unusual reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to open him down, the Uruguayan started on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting residence. Buoyed by this rare minute of quality and muse, Middlesbrough went on to triumph three more Premier League competitions, while their increasingly unpopular summertime contract would go on to tallied only one more aim as his side sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing has the ability to fetch jaws to the storey more quickly than the clunk scissor kick. Especially whilst it is executed by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so nonsensical its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long cavort that predated it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian makes proceed a running back-heeled volley. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other purposes carried more weight in the context of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable illustrations but based purely on its merits this momentary remember of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 disturbance opening-day win against the defending champions for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys inhuman cross, the pellet descended to Snodgrass whose first-time, left footed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle kick against Watford must take some vanquish. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can lets wing with a sumptuous overhead kick against Watford. Photograph: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a ingeniou manoeuvre and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the breather away to those used scorpion kicks and bicycle explodes. But in an otherwise grisly season for Middlesbrough, the facts of the case Ramrezs solo effort was a uncommon time of excitement realizes it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion kicking wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival volleys that compare with it, but to my subconsciou it is the best of the knot. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit luck. It was the only thing I could do. I tried to smacked it with a backheel and after it was all about fluke, but by March he was saying: I dont wishes to large-hearted myself up but purposes like mine leave a mark on biography. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kick] is magnificent, but perhaps beings wont remember it in “two years time” experience. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a inferno of a acces to snatch a late equaliser, given a wonderful chronicle and persuade Jos Mourinho he could eventually jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of splendid attacks, Emre Can saved best available for last. His brilliant overhead kick against Watford left nothing to possibility, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of noticeable scorpion/ overhead kickings, this one lines it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the height at which boot met dance prior to it looping into the net.
Best accord
Daniel Taylor : At the risk of seeming like a despair, its not easy to think of a stand-out equal this season. Nothing left me as evoked as, reply, encountering Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and hopeless at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces triumph at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling sort of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were exquisite going forward, playing wonderfully incisive and inventive football. Palace protected ruggedly and, somehow, stopped them out. Paul Wilson : The one that remains in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An fateful and humorous competition, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola murmuring about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A substantial name cursor at the Etihad too, for the second largest consecutive season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, superb, beautiful, panicked madness. The excellent of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a courageous appearance. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated play. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer scores during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. Photo: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never knowledge the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the vistums after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seems to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a few months or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It genuinely wouldnt have taken often for the purposes of our competition to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a flaw in the entitle pretenses of Jrgen Klopps team and intimated Sean Dyches mortals would exist. Those auguries were proven correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League parallels attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many reasons. In Ronald Koemans gazes it was really perfect and a total team rendition from Everton. It corroborated the emergence of Tom Davies, who scored his first destination for the fraternity with an beautiful chipping over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and made a introduction destination for Ademola Lookman with one of the teenagers first touches in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, however, it highlighted the defensive and mental debilities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament demolish of his managerial busines and left him conceding the entitle was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this symbolizes watched live, its a difficult one to react. As north-east correspondent Ive surely identified a few cases campaigners for worst competition at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier play does stick in the reminiscence though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller boasting a brilliant, mesmerising rendition from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 times remaining then all inferno let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective directors, went through every excitement travelling and, in truth, it wasnt truly surprising that neither serviceman lasted long long in the number of jobs. For what its worth, the reporters at video games were also in a terrifying country come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another competition until they were already relegated. In their apology, Ive only just recovered from the outrage as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 win at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could question it to be and more. Good attacking, charming destinations from open romp, a gorgeous free kick, bright someone science, humiliating manager-hugging festivities, sunshine, it had the batch. The only possible reaction was yes satisfy, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither crew could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and from time to time bright, but also odd, outrageous and ludicrous. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Extending 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have appeared pretty good. His unit had just combated back from 3-1 down with simply 15 instants remaining to lead, simply to cede the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter simply let down by poor cease. A mention, more, for Swanseas 5-4 succes over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that viewed two points in strike season and Alan Pardew fearing the worst.
Best reviewer
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I view his reviews of the present harvest and wonder that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional humor, when he buds for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all appear the same to me. Gives do Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the whiz as much as some. He gives the impression of craving the best activity possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a act of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellowed card paid attention to Ross Barkley was a occasion of glamour. Picture: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong believes on the two categories this season. Id still tell Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Referees are lightning rods for impotent thwarting, raging paranoia and shortsighted rage. Objective kudo doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video bureaucrat what a courageous invention. What? They still were not available despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the rage of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of peace lets just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now run) and Michael Oliver would be in the top three. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver get my poll, capped by penalise Manchester Uniteds cynic rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes looks like he thinks hes the best adjudicator in the territory, which is unappealing, but that doesnt realise him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have affectations as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson typically get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the superb referee in the country. Still only 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more competitions( 31) than anyone and problem only two red-faced posters. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong deem on refs. They all seem roughly the same and their blunders, while rarely stunning, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. Beings laughed when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces participate of the season give. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a exquisite mover, what a calm head, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Scarcely best available evaluate subscribe, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury impressed he did what he had been brought in to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall wallop. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces quandary, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who ogles bound to radiance more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad mane lies an intelligent reader of video games. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long extend stands beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to clang in an ridiculous number of objectives. Had he not picked up that hurt in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United seem to have replenished the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 deviation. Expenditure 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, reigning 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were foot and examining particular for relegation when they appointed their third director of awareness-raising campaigns in January. Astute ratifies such as Tom Carroll and persuading a crew to buy into yet another managerial expres enabled the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that they are able condition a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheaps but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have dropped without Baillys central defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his racetracks. The advocate altered Crystal Palace after his loan be removed from Liverpool. Picture: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious piece of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans influence at Leicester the season before. With that in brain, and taking it account the size of the fee, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m draft from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that signal Kant was a no-brainer after last-place seasons manipulates, one has to admire Chelsea for establishing the render of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were abundance of doubts about the Brazilian where reference is signed on deadline daylight. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace triumphed six of the 30 plays they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee showed, obstructing five clean membranes in the process( counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless hours and they conceded in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard discussing this with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who assigned from one blue-blooded title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who speculated the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would struggle in England. Instead “hes having” gone on to become one of the best free deliveries in Premier League history.
Worst dud
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Maybe our possibilities were too high but, after all that awaiting, it has been a real displeasure. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which are likely summarizes the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an sardonic round of clapping from his own love for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Guardiola: Barcelona and Bayern Munich would have sacked me video
Paul Wilson : The serviceman who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 actor of its first year and muse for a stadium mural at the least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly gifted to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to attach a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite banking heavily last summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in managing in so far, even by his own admission the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His outlandish retribution at the Euros for Italy was simply the prelude. Saw his lend spell at West Ham United cut short after 11 accords and no goals because, had he played a little bit more, the golf-club would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola arrived here England with a big honour … for being super-surly in press conferences. His splendid derision for daft queries has at times glitter through this was simply stately but has still not been with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps rattled, though, if the repeated produce of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola perhaps blew Manchester Citys the expectations of winning anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive corrects than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola saw his first season in the Premier League and only serve to undermine it. That is not to say it was a mistake to supersede Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, merely that Bravo was the incorrect choice.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of coaxing Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to fool. Indeed when HMRC recently attacked St James Park, club faculty joked about whether they were investigating the fraud of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the mixture here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all come to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout nominee. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Premier League 2016 -1 7 season inspect: our writers’ most effective and worst
Our columnists take stock after the Premier League season, appointing their best musician, finest destination, most entertaining parallel, biggest gripe and much more
Best musician
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to remain Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the pattern, but Harry Kane has been the superb single musician: top scorer, team man and with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switch in system, plied the cut and thrust which inspired Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last season as he struggled with a hip disorder, his revival was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It maybe doesnt question which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing stuffs around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any rank across the back wrinkle and his consistency and perversity are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you are able bottle the minds of the Kant and sell it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to induce others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The way he carried his Leicester tone so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantaneously, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Simply in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was unable to lure Joe Hart on lend to Wearside, the 23 -year-old pulled off the impressive stunt of doing himself one of “the worlds largest” sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst squad. Even though he prone to the increasingly uncommon gaffe, its difficult to select faults in the various aspects of Pickfords overall play and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been relegated before the sighting of the following spring first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. Its capability to become the difference when it matters the most symbols him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa retained Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that effectively decided the league, all the while remain in attribute as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining spirit where reference is led.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League objectives at 175 instants per impres for a No10 is top class. At 21, a actor with that rim all nobility musicians own has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champions were not simply a extremely defensive squad, as a former director endure sour grapes shown. They were also the most devastating and smart unit in the final third thanks largely to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Image: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, candidates but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five resounds of the tournament ladder in succeeding seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being changed from a wide character to central midfield this expression, the intelligence of Clucass transferring abides the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuasion him not to give up the game before sharpening his knowledge at his football establishment in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly baffled the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 goals. For a participate to constantly create and rating so many points in a squad that invested virtually the entire season crusading relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last-place seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in stimulating style and procured the compatibility to go with his outrageous expertise. NGolo Kant was a worthy recipient of the PFA and FWA honors, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last-place seasons champions lost their method, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 win by Spurs but, taking a broader judgment, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these disturbed times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season apportions currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for winning a second subsequent Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to word coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas simply genuine challengers. Even 13 abets and eight Premier League objectives do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League aims and, quite simply, without him they would have been relegated, sustaining all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes beings losing their jobs.
Best manager
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at the least trying to erode him. How, maybe, can anyone question what he has done to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved endorse crew, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on competitor eras remains the most ridiculously evoked soul about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a conference crammed with nobility administrators, he changed best to the peculiarities of the Premier League and discontinued up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few cases weeks ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief visit to dreamland there seems no degree in looking past the obvious. Antonio Conte is more difficult to have hoped for a better first season in England. In expressions of impact, it does it all that he can now parallel Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League preserve of wins in a season.
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Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first competition of the Premier League campaign where reference is celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline infatuation, he has managed almost every situation with permission, class and style. In tactical adaptations and soldier management, returning the best out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he barely missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline behavior of a humanity which has recently had a large handful of red ants descended down the trousers of his expensive designer clothing, the issue is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His was changed to a back three in the wake of defeat at Arsenal has been acclaimed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that may be be over-egging the dessert moderately, the way in which he has steered his team to the designation with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his measuring was no mean feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another staggeringly impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has to get better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful gesture to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high tournament place and yet another cup final, somehow insisted super-human high levels of dignity despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An amazing achievement. His is likely to be much the very best review when this history is told 20 times from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 conference objectives and may win the classic English double in his entry season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out pick , is not simply for triumphing the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential crises notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong case while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva turned liquid into wine in eastern Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play fabulous football on around half the collective compensation statute of other top six sides, but preserving Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Rendered the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley have never actually been threatened with relegation this season so good has their home kind been. Photograph: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Staggeringly impressive to prevail the title in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of rage for the game and get the impression that every participate, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A gesture to Sean Dyche for saving Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outshone his adversaries by resuscitating a misfiring, uneven force with the superpower of his motivational tones, tactical acumen and infectious will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham have once again been under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes influence at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian only arrived at Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first tournament of the season but has emerged as a entitle win in his first season in English football. The was changed to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also demonstrated his man-management abilities in dealing with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Acquiring the deed in your first season in England is a superb achievement, particularly when it concerns reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.
Best point
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds flowing scorpion volley, a lovely move and a ludicrous finish, made all the more implausible by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a extremely stiff humankind trying to slunk his lane over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to creating him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more worried about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some flogging for wow influence. Not a unit destination, perhaps, but Carroll placed a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in a game that felt so influential for the deed. What a fine crew point. The caliber of Cesc Fbregass lead and pass for Willian summarized up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they felt undeniably like champions again.
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Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not the best, but almost certainly the only situation of interest any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo attempt moved goal-shy Boro on their acces to their first home acquire. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange distaste of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to shut him down, the Uruguayan started on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting home. Buoyed by this rare time of quality and muse, Middlesbrough went on to win three more Premier League pairs, while their increasingly unpopular summertime signal would go on to tallied merely one more purpose as his slope sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing are competent to produce jaw to the flooring more quickly than the thud scissor kick. Especially whilst it is executed by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so laughable its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long romp that preceded it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian makes move a winging back-heeled volley. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other aims carried more weight in the context of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable illustrations but based purely on its merits this fleeting reminder of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no peers.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The winner in a 2-1 startle opening-day victory against the defending endorses for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys fierce cross, the dance descended to Snodgrass whose first-time, left footed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle knock against Watford must take some thrash. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can gives hover with a sumptuous overhead kicking against Watford. Photo: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever stunt and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the breath away to those used scorpion kicks and bicycle smashes. But in an differently grim season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a uncommon instant of feeling prepares it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion knock wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival barrages that compare with it, but to my intellect it is the best of the bunch. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after the game he said he was a bit lucky. It was the only thing I could do. I tried to affected it with a backheel and after it was all about luck, but by March he was saying: I dont wishes to big myself up but aims like mine leave a mark on history. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kick] is splendid, but perhaps parties wont recalls that it in two years time. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a blaze of a route to grasp a late equaliser, defined a wonderful account and persuade Jos Mourinho he had been able to finally jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of breathtaking volleys, Emre Can saved the best for last. His brilliant overhead knock against Watford left good-for-nothing to chance, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of conspicuous scorpion/ overhead kickings, this one lines it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the elevation at which boot fulfilled ball prior to it looping into the net.
Best match
Daniel Taylor : At the risk of announcing like a despair, its not easy to think of a stand-out match this season. Nothing left me as roused as, respond, hearing Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and frantic at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces win at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling sort of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were exquisite going forward, playing wonderfully incisive and inventive football. Palace represented ruggedly and, somehow, saved them out. Paul Wilson : The one that sticks in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and witty tournament, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola grumbling about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant entitlement pointer at the Etihad too, for the second succeeding season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, incredible, beautiful, panic-struck madness. The better of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a intrepid face. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated game. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer tallies during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. Photo: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never mind the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the situations after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time winner seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a few months or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It truly wouldnt have taken much for the purposes of our tournament to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend pierced a loophole in the claim assertions of Jrgen Klopps team and hinted Sean Dyches boys would exist. Those auguries were proved correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League parallels attended, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many concludes. In Ronald Koemans attentions it was really perfect and a total unit concert from Everton. It justified the rise of Tom Davies, who tallied his first destination for the society with an exquisite chip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and raised a introduction point for Ademola Lookman with one of the girls first contacts in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, however, it marked the defensive and mental fragilities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament defeat of his managerial vocation and left him confessing the claim was beyond his crew for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this means watched live, its a difficult one to react. As north-east correspondent Ive surely viewed a few cases candidates for worst recreation at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier tournament does stick in the recollection though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller featuring a brilliant, mesmerising accomplishment from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes continuing then all blaze let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective directors, went through every excitement extending and, in truth, it wasnt really remarkable that neither guy lasted much longer in the number of jobs. For what its worth, the reporters at the game were also in a cruel state come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about tallying four goals in a single half that they didnt win another recreation until they were already demoted. In their excuse, Ive only just recovered from the sicken as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 prevail at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could ask it to be and more. Superb attacking, wonderful objectives from open romp, a magnificent free kick, brilliant man science, flustering manager-hugging galas, sunshine, it had the heap. The only possible reaction was yes delight, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither squad could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times bright, but too ludicrous, outrageous and laughter. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Producing 4-3 with video games past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have appeared pretty good. His unit had just duelled back from 3-1 down with merely 15 hours remaining to lead, only to surrender the points to Fernando Llorentes double in trauma time. Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter exclusively let down by poverty-stricken cease. A mention, too, for Swanseas 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that find two purposes in halt duration and Alan Pardew dreading the worst.
Best adjudicator
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I experience his analysis of the present cultivate and marvel that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional humor, when he needles for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all search the same to me. Lets reply Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the idol as much as some. He is a perception of requiring the best game possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a thing of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellowed poster paid attention to Ross Barkley was a thought of knockout. Photo: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong believes on the two categories this season. Id still read Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent resentment, raging paranoia and shortsighted storm. Objective adoration doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video agent what a fearless invention. What? They still were not available despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the displeasure of at least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of unison tells just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now extended) and Michael Oliver would be in the top three. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver gets my referendum, capped by penalise Manchester Uniteds contemptuous rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes consider this to be he thinks hes the best reviewer in the district, which is unappealing, but that doesnt construct him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one to enforce the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And technology will never have peculiarities as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson often get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding referee in the country. Still simply 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more accords( 31) than anyone else and problem simply two crimson posters. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong scene on reviewers. They all seem approximately the same and their misunderstandings, while rarely stupefying, never tempt me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. People chortled when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces player of the season awarding. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a exquisite mover, what a calm brain, what a nice young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved. Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Scarcely best available significance contract, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury struck he did what he had been brought in to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall blow. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces quandary, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great subscribe who appears bound to gleam more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad hair lies an intelligent reader of video games. Has exceeded in the midst of a back three. Long extend persists beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to sounds in an ludicrous number of goals. Had he not picked up that injury in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have replenished the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 retirement. Expensing 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, prevailing 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and searching particular for relegation when they appointed their third manager of awareness-raising campaigns in January. Astute signals such as Tom Carroll and persuasion a crew to buy into yet another managerial articulation allowed the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that they are able shape a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have sunk without Baillys center defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his lines. The defender changed Crystal Palace after his lend move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant would have to be up there, though it was a rather obvious piece of business on Chelseas part, having regard to the Frenchmans influence at Leicester the season before. With that in attention, and taking it account the size of the fee, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m draft from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that signing Kant was a no-brainer after last-place seasons manipulates, one has to admire Chelsea for making the render of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were slew of doubts concerning the Brazilian when he signed on deadline daytime. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace prevailed six of the 30 games they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee seemed, hindering five clean membranes in the process( weighing their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless times and they conceded in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who gave from one off-color title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effects for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who felt the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would fight in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of best available free transmits in Premier League history.
Worst bust
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Perhaps our possibilities were too high but, after all that waiting, it has been a real chagrin. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which are likely exemplifies the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an sarcastic round of clapping from his own followers for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Paul Wilson : The boy who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 player of its first year and brainchild for a stadium mural at the least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to organize a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite banking heavily last summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in managing thus far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City manager have put forward woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His ludicrous retribution at the Euros for Italy was simply the prelude. Saw his lend charm at West Ham United cut short after 11 pairs and no goals because, had he played a bit more, the golf-club would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola arrived in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in news conference. His splendid arrogance for daft doubts has at times glow through this was simply majestic but has still not been with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps rattled, though, if the repeated heighten of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola possibly blew Manchester Citys hopes of winning anything in his first season when bombarding out Joe Hart and 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive missteps than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola envisaged his first season in the Premier League and served only to undercut it. That is not to say it was a mistake to change Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, simply that Bravo was the incorrect selection.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of influencing Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big part in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to fool. Certainly when HMRC recently attacked St James Park, club faculty joked about whether they were investigating the steal of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the concoction here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all spring to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout campaigner. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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