#theres my thoughts of the night lol.. i feel crazy

[arlowthenacho]

that funny feeling

(carmen berzatto x reader)

summary: you thought carmen berzatto was just a hookup. a fuck-buddy. key word, you thought.

warnings: cursing, allusions to sex but not really? its only mentioned a couple times. no smut, intended lowercase, if theres anything i missed plz let me know !!

wc: 1.1k

a/n: arlow thought about carmen spoon feeding them and made it angsty lol. this is rlly short but fret not !! i think this is gonna be a 2 parter, possibly 3 parter? idk, but i think its gonna be a series lol. anyway, enjoy my lovelies !! 🫶🤍

it started as a one time thing. a one-night-stand. a meaningless hookup. something that would and could only happen once.

until it happened again. and again, and again.

because carmen berzatto was a drug, and you were addicted to him. you craved him like lungs crave oxygen, but you weren’t sure that the feeling was reciprocated.

because if carmen berzatto was a book, he’d be written in code. scrawled in a language you didn’t understand, in writing to confusing to decipher. because carmen berzatto was nothing if not confusing.

a sudden vibration on your nightstand pulls you from your thoughts as you swipe open the screen. a text from carmen. shit.

carmy 🧑‍🍳

you up?

fuck. shit, shit, shit.

you quickly sit up and type back a response.

yeah.

you hold down the backspace button. too simple.

i wasn’t until you woke me up

pop. too accusatory.

i am now. whats up?

good enough.

you click send and set your phone back down on your bed, waiting for a response.

bzz.

the reply was almost instant. maybe that scared you a little bit.

your finger hovers over the screen, debating whether to open the text now, or just forget about it until the morning.

the former won.

carmy 🧑‍🍳

can you come over?

oh. oh.

you don’t know why you expected anything different. it’s not like you were dating him. even though you wish you were. in his eyes, you were just a casual hookup who he occasionally called for something not relating to sex.

you heave a sigh and shift your eyes back over to the phone in your hands.

yeah, ok.

sent.

you don’t really care if it sounds passive aggressive, or angry, or disappointed or whatever else it could sound like to him. to be quite honest, you just want to get this over with.

you quickly change out of your pajamas into something more presentable. a white sweater, blue jeans, throw in some lacy undergarments and you’re heading out the door and into your car.

you turn on the ignition and start the short drive to carmy’s apartment. you have his address memorized, (which you will deny is creepy until your dying day) so you don’t need to use a gps.

you turn on some music and try to distract your racing thoughts. its not like this is the first time you’re meeting him. no, far from it. but you don’t think your brain has processed that yet, because your heart is pounding and fluttering like a bird caged within your chest.

you finally make it to his apartment after what feels like an hour, and you’re standing—quite awkwardly—at carmen’s door, your fist hovering over the wood hesitantly.

after a full minute of standing at the door with your arm raised, you decide to bite the bullet and knock on the damn door.

so you do.

and he answers instantly. like a fucking gentleman.

his hair is tousled, and he runs a hand through it nervously. his eyes somehow look even more blue in the shitty light the hallway of his building provides, and it’s driving you crazy.

he is gorgeous. he is perfect. he’s all the synonyms for beautiful you can cram into one human being.

“hi,”

carmen’s voice is deep and gravelly, still thick with sleep even though he’s probably been awake for some time now.

“hey,”

a beat passes.

“can i-?”

he jolts up from the doorway he was leaning on.

“oh, yeah. shit—yeah, come in. sorry.”

an apron is tied around his waist, a gray sweater fitting loosely around his frame. it makes his eyes appear bright, like gleaming pools of sapphire that you want to spend every pretty penny on.

nonetheless, you smile politely and step into his apartment.

no matter how many times you’ve been here, the first thing you notice is always his bookshelves. more so, the books. cookbooks, magazines, culinary textbooks and newspaper articles litter his floor and decorate his walls.

the second thing you always notice is his ever-growing collection of denim. jeans and jackets make up most of his wardrobe, and are crammed into whatever space he could find.

after looking around his small apartment, a smell hits your nose.

its…pasta?

no, that can’t be it. you were just here to fuck, right? the food was probably for someone else. for work, or somebody he wanted a real relationship with. not you.

the thought left a bitter taste in your mouth.

you sigh, disappointment crashing into your heart like waves against rocks for the second time tonight.

despite that, you’re the first to break the silence.

“aren’t we going to your room?” you cringe at the tone of your voice. it sounded exactly how you felt. disappointed, hurt, maybe a little bitter.

“what? sorry, couldn’t hear you.” carmen leans down to you to hear better, his breath a faint whisper against your skin. your breath hitches.

“aren’t we going to your room?” you repeat, a tad louder than before.

“oh. no, no, no. no, that not—that isn’t—” carmen seems to be at a loss for words, and he feels like a total dick.

“we aren’t?” you’re confused, but hide it well. you raise a brow pointedly. “then why’d you ask me to come over?” for the first time in a couple of minutes, you notice where you followed him.

“i—just,” he searches around for something.

a spoon, full of some kind of red sauce. he cups his hand under the utensil to catch anything that drips, and urges you to come closer.

you’re in his kitchen. his safe space. his fucking sacred space.

and suddenly a wave of confusion and frustration and hope is erupting within you. so many emotions and so much fucking hope. hope that this could be something more. hope that maybe you were wrong. silly, foolish, childish hope that enthralls you completely in its deceitfully warm embrace.

he’s still holding the spoon to your mouth when he speaks.

“can you try it? it’s something for the bear. for the new menu. wanted your opinion on it.” he looks nervous, like he wasn’t the one who invited you over. like he isn’t currently the one lighting your cheeks ablaze and causing your to heart implode under the sheer force of your adoration for him.

“oh, um, yeah. of course.”

he smiles. a close-lipped thing that makes you want to kiss it off of him.

you move to take the spoon from him, but he gently shoves your arm down against your side, says “open up,” and puts the spoon in your mouth.

the food is great. more than great. but you’d be lying if you said you were paying attention to that.

because carmen fucking berzatto just spoon fed you. like a couple.

and now the domesticity is crushing you, mind, body and soul.

because you’re in love with carmen berzatto.

and by some miracle, he might be in love with you too.

[meruz]

Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!

More gushing abt the weekend under the cut

I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....

Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.

I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING

[nebbistrs]

more bnha/mha headcanons!

part one!

(i recommend you read through my first set of hcs bc theres a few references jajaja. i did say its a ref. on those points specifically tho lol.)

• katsuki wears hearing aids, but refuses to learn sign language. does he know it? yes, but hes very pissed about it

• even before the final arc, katsukis arms were already very messed up. fighting at the end just worsened it, almost to the point his arm may never recover if he breaks it again (kinda laike izuku)

• katsukis hero costume head gear thingy also works as a muffler on his ears

• katsuki listens to heartbreak songs even if hes never experienced one

• izuku spies on hitoshi when he trains. hitoshi always catches him and its super awkward each time, but they become rly close over time

• izuku plays persona games (nebstar is totally not planning a persona 3 au with bnha characters)

• besides katsuki, the person in the class izuku takes the most notes of is shoto and ochako

• izuku buys hitoshi banana milk (ref. to prev. headcanons lol)

• izuku use to be an undertale fan

• ochako works part time after school at a nearby cafe

• ochako listens to heavy metal when she works out, but her other playlists are early 2000s songs. she asks izuku for recommendations sometimes (referencing pt. 1)

• ochako originally voted for tenya to be class representative, but thought he would be too stuck up so she changed her vote to izuku

• ochako wants to take up sewing, its one of her after school clubs

• asui loves to watch romance shows even though she usually complains about how unrealistic they are

• asui didnt see toru one time, so as she was using her tongue in training and smacked the absolute shit out of her by accident. she still feels bad about it to this day

• whenever its too cold, asui asks mezo if they can cuddle. theres been times (multiple) mezo has to take her to her room because she falls asleep bc hes so warm and gentle

• sometimes when the girls notice asui missing her family, specifically her brother and sister, they let her do their hair

• momo depises wearing pants. she grew up a prim and proper lady so she lives in dresses and skirts. even a majority of her pajamas are night gowns, if not, it has to be a silk matchibg set

• momo has an intense fear of heights, which is why she never gets on roller coasters

• momo listens to classical music. theres no way she doesnt.

• until U.A, momo never had any real friends. even though she went to private school, her 'friends' were very fake and used her for her money

• mina lives in gyaru fashion & makeup outside of school. even during school she tries to do her heavier makeup but is often reprimanded for it

• despite her whole pink aesthetic and room, minas favorite color is actually purple

• mina actually hangs out with eijiro and tetsutetsu a lot

• watches your lie in april every april. and its not one day, its everday of april. and mina cries every time

• hanta moves very well with his quirk, but actually prefers to skateboard

• hanta actually won a skateboarding competition right before enrolling at U.A. bro did some crazy stunts

• when he has nightmares about fighting villains, tape shoots out of hantas arms and hes unaware until the morning when he finds himself covered in tape instead of his blanket

• hanta has a pair of cargo pants for every possible occasion. yes, cargo pants.

• automatically in winter, mezo will wrap his arms around asui to keep her warm and snow away from her.

• even though modified outfits for quirks are actually very common, mezo still cant find coats for his body. he has one and its been through shit. instead he turns into elsa from frozen and says, "the cold doesnt bother me anyways"

• mezo keeps a stuffed animal in his room despite saying having a lot of stuff was unnecessary. he keeps it because it was from the girl he saved when he was younger. she gave it to him and told him if he felt sad that the stuffed animal would be there for him

• mezo would sneak into the city because he hated how he was treated when he was younger. he ended up joining a dance group where everyone was 18 and older. they still reach out to him and support him. literally, they were cheering for him at the sports festival even if he didnf make it to finals

BONUS!

• momo and tenya have study sessions together. since she is the top student he doesnt go to anyone else

• shoto gives nicknames to all his pokemon. they are named after his classmates. there is at least 5 of each classmate as he tries to complete the pokedex (ref. to part one)

• rikido has a big fat crush on one of the girls in class 1-b but doesnt know how to confess or even if she will accept so he bakes cakes for her and gives it to her before school starts

• denki sneezes like a girl and kyoka sneezes like a 50 year old man. they always tease each other about it

• eijiro had a wedgie and pulled it when he thought no one was looking but tetsutetsu and mina did and they will never let it go.

[ilovechubbieguys]

hiii omg just found your account, so happy to see more tgc fanfiction ((ive read every single one of them at this point 😭)) soo could i request some nick/yumi fluff or smut? thank yououou 🦭

Omg same man i made this because i read them all so i might as well make my own lmao! Very happy to do one for yumi and nick!! (First smut sorry if its a little off lol) 🦭

Nick & yumi fluff/smut hcn!

-smut and fluff for each, gn! Reader. Use of f! Body parts. White=fluff red=smut

-----------------------♧♤------------------------

Nick

♧- love language is definitely quality time ex: just sitting and watching tv or going to the mall

♧- baby, love, and babe user for sure

♧- loves loves loves to hold your hand and in the car when he drives (which is almost always) he always has a hand on your thigh

♧- so sweet and caring. Very good listener and always listens to you rant about your day or any thing that ever slightly upset you

♧- if your a hyoer person he keeps you from doing dumb crap that youll regret later

♧- if your a calm person theres alot of cuddling he always wants to be big spoon

♧- about 5 months into your relationship he made a song for you and it was the cutest thing ever

♧- i feel like if your on a late night drive with him on an empty road he likes to speed just for the fun of it

♧- rolls down the windows and lets you stick your hand out while he speeds down an empty highway

----------------

♧- 6in and gurthy

♧- totally a service dom "i know baby" "your taking me so good baby"

♧- some days its slow "i missed you so much" thrusts with kisses all over your body

♧- other days its fast and rough "ive needed this all day" thrusts with hickeys and bite marks all over

♧- hes normally pretty soft and slow but if you decide to be a tease that day hes now holding back "fuck.. you just couldnt fuckin..wait could you..huh?"

♧- doggy style because he loves to see you bent over for him

♧- and missionary because he loves to be able to see your face and have access to every inch of you

♧- he secretly loves when you sneak under his desk while hes playing siege or cod and help him out

♧- " yumi i got a guy on m-me.." "you good man?" "Ya im good sorry i think i gonna get off i dont feel the best" "alr man get better"

♧- prepare to not be able to walk for alteast 2 weeks for that

---------------------------------------------------

Yumi

♤- late night smoke sessions are a common thing. You guys just talk about everything and anything or you enjog echother presence in silence

��- Dance was made about you 😧

♤- babe kinda guy change my mind, baby when hes tired or comforting you

♤- loves sleeping in with you, when you try and either get up or get him up he pulls you back in "5 more minutes.."

♤- 5 minutes normally turms into atleast another hour

♤- convinced you to join LTLVC to motivate him to stay in or incase another pc incident happened

♤- loves when you watch him play video games or making a video

♤- his favorite thing is when you lay on his chest while he scrolls threw tiktok or insta

♤- if you guys where together when he made Lost he would always want you with him at the recording studio

♤- constantly asking what you thought

♤- they type of guy to always have his arm around your waist. Especially likes to come behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

-----------------------

♤- 7 in and curved

♤- pretty vanilla guy, but for a little lets pretend he's not as vanilla as he is 😮‍💨(still love you, man)

♤- riding and spooning are his fav positions for sure

♤- not very vocal, but a lot of grunting

♤- giving and receiving head is godly to him

♤- "fuck.." "god." "Your so fucking pretty"

♤- high sex goes crazy with him. He's still smoking a blunt while you ride him every now and then, taking a hit yourself

♤- holds you pretty rough if you're riding him, normally rutting his own hips into you, especially if you're close

♤- eats you out till your heavy breathing, tears are running down your face, you can't form real sentences, till your legs are shaking

♤- oh u need him now? Ur alreadt bent over the nearest counter, in the car? Why not. In the shower? Done. At the mall? Family bathroom it is.

♤- uses the fact hes alot bigger then you to him advantage, manhandling, and holding your hands down

---------------------------------------------------

For my first smut, i think it's ok lmao. Lmk what yall, though, what i should improve and change. Thanks for requesting! :3

[stonerskinny]

why does alcohol have so many cals 😭

weighed at 277 just now, it really is crazy what a single 💩 and a nap will do for you LMAO

now do i want to risk ruining that w alc and possible binging or do i just go back 2 sleep and be good

i’m 22hrs into this fast meaning if i skip going out and having fun i can take my sleep meds and probably get to 36hrs easy but i can also see the scenario where they just don’t kick in and i end up binging anyway plus i just was aiming for 18hrs

ugh why are there so many ways this could go

the switch is flipping actively, i think. who knew i just needed to get out of the cycle for a night.

i feel like i have something to prove. which i hesitate to admit, but it’s true. apparently when all your friends are restricters and your entire ed is just you failing at restricting, theres some interesting shame stuff that comes up LOL sometimes i just feel like a lazy gross piece of shit compared to everyone in my life because i am like this unhinged fucking glutton and everyone else has the discipline i’d commit war crimes to have

i feel like a wannarexic sometimes which i basically am

i just want to do something right and the only thing i care about is this which i am royally terrible at. sometimes it’s like all i know how to do is eat, doesn’t matter that i purge because im so big.

you know i’m gonna have to lose just over 2/3 my body weight to get to where i wanna be. that’s a lot of fucking weight and there’s no way i end up without loose skin so basically im fucked if i lose to where i wanna be, and fucked if i go crazy and decide to recover because i’ll still be huge. maybe if i actually worked out i wouldn’t end up w so much loose skin or if i did this slowly but slowly pisses me off because my brain is all about that instant gratification

the longer i’m awake the more i want to binge fuck

but i know i will regret it. i knowwwww i will. because ill feel bloated and ill gain and it’ll fucking suck. or ill purge, one of the two. there’s no excuse for it though. this body does not need food, it has PLENTY of natural resources to live on lmao.

i wish i didn’t most likely have the hellscape combo of hypothyroidism + PCOS which both individually make weight loss hard and weight gain so easy. but at the same time i can’t erase my failure by crying about genetics, if i really wanted to get there i’d already have gotten there long ago so now im just wasting everyone’s time.

can u tell the suicidality came back so strong tonite lol

i wonder how many ppl actually read these monstrosities that i write. how many ppl actually absorb my thoughts. trippy

sometimes i think i don’t actually have an eating disorder at all because i am just so inconsistent with anything besides binging. which i know is its own ed but let my silly little rat brain have its moment.

also apparently i literally sleep like the dead bc my hr was 40 when i was sleeping earlier so that’s fun no wonder i wake up feeling like a fucking corpse every day

okay that’s all for now i’ll spare y’all the rest of my brain while i lay here and mentally debate the pros and cons of both trazodone and tequila

[we-out-here-simping]

i wanna know how you wrote kiss it away honey, because i read it twice and there's something in the writing that fucks with my brain so bad, i don't really know how to explain it but it confuses the hell out of me and it's just so good

oooo i LOVE this question!! tysm for asking and i'm sorry this took me a while to answer

i'm so so sooo glad people really like this fic bc its so special to me! i feel like i really hit the jackpot when i wrote i really am so so proud of it!

i'm not quite sure if this is an answer but here have my ramble <3

to a certain degree its supposed to be a take on a general x reader fic, where the reader is worried or going through something and the character just does everything right and fixes everytging. so i guess, reader really is a self insert for me because when i first thought of this fic i was having an awful time and just wanted to cry in this guys arms. but somehow that got demented into the monster it is now!

it really is just one of those fics that gets better with on the second read, if i do say so myself. when i do put the part 2 out, i think re reading this will i think give u a lot of 'oh shit' moments (again, if i do say so myself)

the writing style is so fun to do. actions/emotions are written in very concise, short sentences. theres a lot of repetition for impact ofcourse we love her. both sort of add to the vagueness and ambiguity of it all that messes with your brain.

theres this juxtaposition of their more mundane and domestic moments as well as the very fucked things happening behind the scenes yk like murder and what is practically gaslighting your partner and yourself. Fun!

i feel like the way steve is written in this fic is so interesting. his devotion towards the reader is unparalled and unending. when @procrastinationprincesses was reading this fic for the first time, she mentioned how crazy it is that steve is dating what is practically his god, because the reader created him. and i think about that a lot lol

this is a bit embarassing to admit but around the time i was writing it, i was hyperfixating on a lot of the five nights at freddy's lore lmaoo like i was watching video essays that were multiple hours long so, many of the sentiments seeped from it. one particular one is one of the characters promises one dying character that he wil 'put him back together' which paralells 'he's the only one who could ever fix you' in the fic if that makes sense?

another thing that affected the tone of this fic was the fact that i always had to listen to mitski's "my love mine all mine" everytime i sat down to write. and i still have to do that when i try to get into the mood for part 2. the fic isnt necessarily based on it but the vibes are very much there

another thing i might have subconsciously taken from def was wandavision. i think that is self explanatory in of itself.

one of my fave lines i've ever written def has to be "silence was unbearable when it wasn't mixed in with your heartbeat" :( bc thats crazy i ate that i fear

[jay-starss]

So i iust finished watching scott pilgrim takes off and HOLY SHIT ITS SO GOOD???!!! Like man the fucking soundtrack is a BANGER to listen to I would play the entire ost for MONTHS oh yeah and heres some thoughts I had for this show/anime(?)

First and fore most SCOTT PILGRIM SOUNDTRACK WOOOOO

I love wallace. He is just. Oh my god. WALLACE FOR THE WIN

Stephen is me when my anxiety shows up unannounced

ALSO I really adore the way young neil talks hes absolutely me FR like bro me too I would not know if I wrote my 927473737th screenplay draft two nights ago too

LUCAS LEE. I love that man why he so cool like that its bothering me WHY HE SO COOL

Todd ingram and Wallace wells lets goooo

Okay but I feel bad for Todd though like the whole binge eating when hes sad and lonely? I felt that

I dont know about Roxie but i think shes cool too!!

Oh yeah that impulsive manipulative abusive crazy gazilionaire man whats his name again i think he was fire too

And the others ladies!! Ramona! Kim! STACY

My god stacy when she gossips BAIDHJSJS fr tho

I literally JUST FINISHED THIS SHOW im tryna remember all their names..WHY IS THIS SO HARD

Oh yeah of course theres the scott pilgrim and his other older selves that he met and confronted and FOUGHT??

WHAT THE FUCK I REMEMBER MATTHEW PATEL BUT NOT THE GAZILIONAIRE CEO GUY UUGGH WHATS HIS NAME AGAIN

Serisouly im tryna remember all these names from the top of my head

Anyway I love ramona I think shes very hot and amazing I love the parts where she dyes her hair its so SATISFYING

Ermm oh yeah the twins and their silly lil funny robot fiend i love him

ENVY. Yeah idk about her lol but slay I guess

GORDON. GOOSE. GIDEON. GRAVES.

Man the only reason I forget this stupid name is because it wasnt even his real name what the fuck g-man

Anyway I love scott pilgrim takes off I think you should go watch it PLEASE DO ITS SO GOOD OKAY BYE LOVE YALL

[imaginespazzi]

Hi hi hi!

Reporting live and procrastinating responsibilities :). So heres my rundown, pretty much matchy matchy w yours, naturally: Generally the video vibes almost 💯 fit with the allegations 🙃. Please bear w the rambling thoughts in no particular order. Im not sure how one could possibly cohesively recap ALL THAT lol. Ok it blows my mind how much they personally had to catch up on w one another! God damn babes, you havent talked much if at all in nearly a month. Again it screams that there was more of a relationship (ending poorly).. Even friends moving apart prob wouldve had more contact over that time. Sometimes I wonder how they dont realize what they reveal by what they leave ~unsaid/not explained! Though G’s “really bad breakup” comment felt weighted given their situation. To me much of the injury discussion came across as carry over from the In The Mirror. With G making a point to say nice things (good memories of playing together;tearing up when Liz got hurt; not being wholly herself as a player w/out Kitley;the frustration at team reaction after the game following the injury; belief that Liz will recover/be drafted etc.). And G’s words still feel to me like a way of her dealing with some guilt which she cant quite yet express or process. Especially considering her adding stuff about being w the Kitley fam lately and helping move Liz’s stuff ha. If a person ever questioned something going down between L&G, I’ll say alarm bells went off when L described her night following the injury and staying over w Cayla. In such a low moment, poor girlie really couldnt manage being at her own place thats shared w one of her closest pals. Ooof. However, on the whole, they sounded more comfortable at times than I expected. In fact the convo sometimes got surprisingly open and loose - gals dont tell me that we had a bit of liquid courage before recording. ;) And it did stand out to me that L asked the “fans” on multiple occasions to just be decent and grateful for what they had + be understanding of decision making under the situation, but stopped short of telling people to leave G alone (which, given everything we’re led to believe, fair play hun). My big takeaway was that they seem to be taking this time of big adjustment as also a new beginning to possibly recover a friendship. Clearly theres still issues to work thru, but perhaps theyve reached a more settled/amicable place? Or at least were just able to deal w each other long enough to provide us all w a semi closure pod 😐. But heres hoping for more future content, as they hinted at! Oh and as someone who works w/in college athletics, I was very sympathetic to their comments throughout re change. Its a crazy industry, stuff happens in the blink of an eye and you do just have to deal with that ish. The harsh reality of the current state of things is that one rarely gets a neat, happy closure.

Happy Sunday to you bestie, hope its fantastic! -☕️

Reporting live and procrastinating is so real, like me asf fr fr.

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Like they seemed so out of the loop when it came to each other's life and that's just so weird to me? I mean I get it could just be regular friends drifting but that wasn't the ~vibe~ at all to me and maybe again it's the allegations bias but it was just very much giving exes.

Hardcore agree with the Georgia stuff because I thought some of what she was saying felt a bit like an overcompensation, an apology of sorts to make up in a way for anything else that *might* have happened. Honestly Georgia being so nice, no shade, doesn't really fit the dynamic from before where sometimes Georgia's snark was just mean to me really.

Every new bit of info/content, I just continue to feel terrible for Liz. And I think her staying at Cayla's really gave away the depth of how much has happened between her and Georgia. And again yeah it could be a friend breakup but it just feel a little too serious for that.

Obviously I don't know a timeline, if there even is one, but this podcast gave me the vibes that if they were together, it's actually been a decent while since they broke up and are now in a place where they can co-exist in an amicable manner. I don't know if we'll ever get another podcast or if they'll actually be able to be in a genuine friendship again but I think they're in a good enough place and I do love that for them.

[kath-artic]

.

was in such a crazy bad panic last night like on the verge of puking waking up in a cold sweat every 10 seconds for multiple reasons but one of the big ones was i dreamt that all the horrible things my friend had said to me--all the things i pretty easily handwaved because i knew they were all said with the intention to hurt me rather than with the intention of being truthful--were said by him instead and THAT made me start to question if they were true. because he would have no reason to bring me down in those ways. and i woke up crying at the thought i may never be important to anyone in the way i want to be and was additionally upset that any part of my mind would use his likeness to self sabotage. like it feels so mean to imagine someone who has been nothing but kind as anything but that. and admittedly he was kinda distant this weekend (because allergies were kicking his ass and he just was not running on much physical or mental energy) and i was sitting there mentally doing damage control while my body reacted as if i was continuing to spiral. it just felt so stupid sitting there thinking "none of this is real and also even if him being distant this weekend DID mean something it's not like i wouldn't be mostly fine lol" while trembling uncontrollably. anyway this morning he was so sweet to me (esp after i mentioned i couldn't sleep bc my nerves were going crazy over everything with my friend) and when he dropped me off for the train he hugged me so tight and kissed me and said he was sorry he'd been so distant (i didn't mention my dream to him and i also wasn't actually bothered by him being distant in any real way so i didnt mention it either, he did this of his own accord) and looked like he might cry and idk man it just gripped my heart in such a way. i thanked him for always being so sweet to me and theres no way he can know just how much i mean that. i hate that any part of me is suspicious of his kindness and i resent the fact that these recent experiences are causing a kneejerk reaction of distrust that i cannot physically quell. at my core i try to always be trusting of other people's intentions and it sickens me that this is impacting my ability to be that way.

[fapper]

Almost got jumped yesterday

Okay yesterday i was high as fuck and sleepy and right as i was abt to go to bed this DEMON (my roommate) comes in with this stranger ?? And so i told the cunt “hey can you pick up those dirty soiled panties that are in the closet they have been laying there for over 3 days and its disgusting” and this COMPLETE STRANGER BY THE WAY says “why did you do that just now” and “you just yelled at her” etc etc bla bla bla i literally started arguing with the cunt like “ur not gonna come in MY apartment and tell me how i can and cant feel bitch this is none of ur business i dont even know who you are” HAH

So an hour later this demon comes in with a bunch of people and packed everything up but she still has her shit in here so shes not permanently out which is ugh but i fr thought i was about to get jumped bc she came in w these 2 other girls and one of them had her hair in a hoodie 💀💀💀💀💀 not to mention the staring at me like LMFOAOSKDKS like theres no way ur about to fight me for telling her to pick up her brown stained panties

Yk what this demon had to say about it too like 😭😭😭😭😭😭✋ she said “no theyre clean” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as if those arent white panties that arent brown in the middle 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 anyways i felt crazy unsafe last night so as i was waiting for them to leave i was high as fuckkkkk and slept on the couch. LOL

As i was high as fuck i genuinely dont remember what the fuck was happening but i think a stranger started yelling at us 😭😭😭😭 and i heard someone say “does anyone know whose cooters these are?” And im sure my roommate blackmailed me or twisted the story the other way around to embarrass me bc these strangers were like insinuating those panties were mine but i truly didnt care LMFAO i was like im listening to music rn and sleeping

No cuz they were genuinely arguing w my other suitemate but idk over what bc i was high as FUCKK

Anyways will update

[beefboyandbabygirl]

my fic timelines (for fun) !

SPOILERS FOR ALL MY CURRENTLY RELEASED FICS, just thought this would be fun for anyone that enjoys my stuff. You can kinda get an idea of what the fic is before it's y'know the full, completed thing. Sometimes I write down specific quotes I want in the story, and most of the time I also plot out the metaphors I want to use and stuff to sort of keep everything connected (but i have decided to forgo the metaphor-plotting). Also sometimes I end up changing things from how it's originally intended (just in case u read smth and ur like "thats not the way it was!"). the girl code one is soooar funny frs

*also shiver me timbers doesnt have a timeline bc its so short lol

GOODBYE, FOURTH OF JULY:

party-party sad

how yn and chan met + how yn is avoiding him during classes now, purposefully making herself late so she can sit with someone else and chan watches her intensely across the lecturehall 

chan FINALLY gets yn to his house while hes getting ready for a date. theres like a semi confrontation where hes like “i can tell your lying u kno” og yn er like… “no im nooooot” 

yn is soooooo depressed. so seungkwan and soonyoung and host an intervention (seungkwan is a second opinion)

chan develops a theory that someone mightve harassed yn at the party and he has heard women can b embarrassed ab that type of thing 

chan finally rips yn to his house and hes ANGRY bc shes been ignoring him and shes scared and feels bad and they have this big argument (“WHY WONT U LET ME HELP YOU”)  where she ends up confessing and chan realizes in that moment that hes in love with her too

super hot sex w praise and sweetness and desperation TIHIHIHIHIH

JUDAS IN THE WINDOW:

Yn comes home, thinks about chan blah blah sees him in window

Yn explroes the suburban ass town, sees the church is drawn to it. Is surprised to see chan in there WEARING A PRIEST UNIFORM. Naur. They talk a little. Sees the judas stained glass. Chan invites her to eat at his house also invites her to like church get together in 2 days

Yn eats dinner at his house, finds out he BOUGHT IT OFF HIS PARENTS WHEN THEY WANTED TO MOVE. CRAZY. A lot of tension and maybe a small argument bc of their differences and how yn kinda judges him for staying the same in the same place and how chan kinda judges her for being a whore n shit 

Yn still comes to the get together much to chans surprise! She keeps trying to apologize but ppl KEEP getting in the way! So chan is like just wait here until after the thing and shes like ok lmao. 

Chan and yn sex scene but first they gotta like. Talk out their differences. “I always felt a bit like judas” 

“I can’t tell if its you or god I turned my back to” you laugh

He watches you with an unreadable expression. “Maybe both,” he whispers. 

GIRL CODE:

at a party, yn and the girlies and dare i say mingyu find woozis book hes always writing in. after much debate, they decide to open it, and what in gods name. its the girl code. the girlies r outraged. thats for girls only. they dont confront woozi, as he has left (he forgot the book lmao).

yn and the girlies confront woozi after class in a secluded classroom. they interrogate. woozi, usually cold and cynical, cracks under the pressure of vicious angry girls and admits. hes writing it down so he knows how to approach his crush. yn is sad. 

yn thinking over her relationship with woozi. yeri (roommate) is annoyed bc she can hear her thinking (outrageous). flashback to the party where woozi #fucked her and shes wondering if it was really that long ago (it was). 

the girls have adopted woozi, and yn kinda thinks its torture bc now she is sad around him (and v insecure bc DOES NO ONE WANT HER?). but they coo and they love him bc hes such a sweet boy, and they’re giving him tips while theyre doing their makeup for a night out  and hes writing it down diligently. he asks her if shes ok. shes a little taken aback. yeah i am. 

another night of helping woozi and adopting him. mingyu wants 2 join but hes NOT one of the girls and hes all whiny and sad about it bc he does NOT want to go out with seungcheol and jeonghan again theyre mean. too bad. ur not woozi. this is for woozi and girls only. i imagine woozi pulls yn to the side and asks her directly like. i know ur not okay. i can tell. there’s something wrong. yn is like. i dont want to talk about it. woozi is like fine queen. 

mingyu (who is closest to yn) WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING IN WITH THE ADOPTED WOOZI THING. hes asking her over lunch and shes all angry ab it. she finally spills that hewas writing down notes for his crush and now shes sad bc  she kinda likes him and thought they had smth going on. mingyu is shook. he partially thinks the whole girl code book is rlly funny but he also feels bad. he buys her a froyo. 

at another party and mingyus mission is to get yn laid so shes no longer insecure and so she can get over woozi. introduces her to wonwoo and they talk at the party. while theyre talking yn notices woozi storming off from the party and putting two and two together, she figures things probably went south w his crush. she catches up to him outside the party and hes all angry and buff and doesnt want to talk to her. a heated discussion w jealousy and woozi finally confesses by being like. ok wait and he goes into a random garden and picks out a couple of flowers and start reciting the confession script on his phone. yn is like. noar way. shes shook and doesnt say anything and so woozi starts being all apologetic like. i know its not roses and i know its not exactly the setting you guys told me- yn kisses him tihi. they kiss then have the sex. its great. jealous sex. yum.

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL:

Bff Giselle convinces yn to go to seokmins party invite (and bring her) and also idk maybe seokmin and vernon and her as a kid flashbacks? - establishes yns character, and also seokmins kindaaa

At the party and jeonghan flirts w her haaaarddd and seokmin is like lmao stay away from her and then brings her to his room where she’s safe and they talk ab what they’ll do in the fall break and they realize they’ll both be at dorm during holiday and then they’re like we should hang out fo sho

They hang out the first day and there’s like an ooopsie moment like hm idk what yet, maybe like seokmin remembers from childhood that’s she’s ticklish and he tickles her and they’re wrestling and he ends up on top of her (sexual tension tihi)

They hang out again and they drink? and yn ends up spilling that she’s bad at masturbating…. N he teaches her while they watch porn….. hot (smut frs) 

Next day again and yn is insisting on returning the favor but seokmin is v v sweet and in luv n is like noarrr but yn insists and then she gives him a blowjob  

Yn facetimes vernon and it makes her feel like a whore and tells him she doesn’t want to do it anymore over text (she’s afraid if she sees him shell abandon all modesty and jump his bones) and they don’t see each other that day - conflict 

Seokmin at her door. She only lets him in when he says sum shit like “I need to know I didn’t make you uncomfortable”. Then they confess their feelings and they have fr sex (also virgin mode, #firsttime, #dickomode) 

i hav 2 more completed timelines, but the fics arent done yet >:)))

[femmedesyeuxnoirs]

Object of my infatuation UPDATE

oh yeah and it was dj crush bday the other night which i didnt even find out until the day of and liek. I feel kinda bad :/ i shouldve drawn him something or like brought him seasonal fruit lol. but man hes so interesting and aloof. and hot. Ive never seen anyone spin those turntables with the same rhythm like that!! I wanted to take a video but i was legiterally mesmerized by his hands. Distracted by the thought of what else they can do the way a bird looks at a shiny object.

He was all shy when everyone sang happy bday to him lol. My friends said that he had been checking me out the whole night and honestly i noticed it too… so I came up to him after the gig and we spoke briefly about mostly stuff i dont remember. except one thing where he told me that he used to be on some stoner hippie shit literally making hash in his house. On some chemically engineered hydroponic dispo strength uberweed shit. and this was during the early 00s too. but he quit like 12 years ago. and i found that kind of endearing. Well actually very endearing im not gonna lie.

We said goodbye and i swear he held me harder this time!! God, when he embraces me it feels like time stops and theres no one else in the room. Omfg im way too infatuated. I was about to pull away and kissed him on the cheek… but not rly a peck this time heheheheheehee. our faces were real close. I kinda just placed my lips on him and said fuckitt ima let it linger. I felt so warm and dizzy when i did it. UGHHHHHHHHHHH I wish i could relive that moment forever!! And ever!!! Just remain in a perpetual state of Kissing Him. His skin was so soft. I smiled back at him as i walked away and then he kinda laughed and said okay ana have a good night. And then he stared and smiled back. Oh mannnn im in it now. Fuuuuck, this is crazy, god damnn etc.

Been texting him and im so so into this romanian new wave he sent me. Its so perfect so amazing so experimental and ahead of its time. Every piece of music he puts me onto makes me wanna cum is that insane to say. Idk

[straykats]

kat talks: 5-star

tldr; it did not take long at all for this comeback to grow on me i love it so much. i find that with most new songs my first listen is always very apathetic and/or ??? LOL and there exists only a small handful of songs that i immediately was like oH MY GOD (this is across all artists i listen to) but yeah i always forget that when listening to new music and i think this comeback is the first time i fully acknowledged that my first listen is rarely (and doesnt need to be) instant likesies. theres a lot of small bits throughout the album that remind me of other songs (not a bad thing, just smth i noticed i kept noticing?). topline, dlc, the sound and time out were/are my favs hehe (update: relistening to the album again and collision and fnf are creeping up to my favs too help)

hall of fame

okay im pretty sure i've heard this in my brief listen before but i also dont remember it at all

i cant describe it but that alien-sounding melody actually has me seeing like a weird alien brainwashing thing

WHOS FUCKING-- WAS THAT JEONGIN??? AT 1:24???? that was so pretty i want that framed

during hyunjins bit i got weird b me flashbacks??? i dont think it sounds similar but my mind immediately went 'b me !!'

jesus felix

the moon landing audio is such a cool inclusion,,, 5 star,,, hall of fame,,, a star/celestial body themed comeback,,,,

s-class

okay wbk i was so confused the first time round but its grown sm on me

i LOVE the power of the opening

the cartoon boing/spring sound and (its not but) the tom and jerry running sound hehe

this song definitely sounds.. grand? and wide? and a good title track

"[im] up above the world so high" nice nice twinkle twinkle reference hehe

i absolutely love jeongin's bit in the bridge and i love the choreo of it too

item

i love the game sounds they use in this hehe

seungmin's prechorus reminds me of smth but i cant place what it is

felixs ... tone? like? the voice he uses???

hyunjin/changbin bit in the bridge >>>>> i cant explain it but it sounds so good

super bowl

the instrumental at the beginning took me by surprise.. i also am sitting ehre trying to identity the?? The Sound. digital/synth. like the almost cowbell almost snare one. ive replayed it so many times.

i thought this when i first heard it (while doing the dishes lol) but is this song all in english?

whats that sound between 'have a bite' and 'make it mine'

screams TFDGVJABVAD the whisper im sorry i cant do it HAHAHAHAHA

topline

to be mad honest i was SO excited for this based on just the teaser

'we skedaddle intoxicated razzle dazzle' best line fr

okay ik i didnt say much for this one but its one of my favs

underground rebellious kinda vibes i love it (i described that wrong but i have a very specific img in my head)

dlc

im trying to play this on the pino and its driving my nuts but in a good way

the 'amudo moreuge' line throughout the entire song is so [deep breaths] like i cant explain it but it BUT AHHHHHH (fun fact for any pokemon people LOL the song oracion has the same kinda thing in it. idk what to call it.)

oh i LOVE love the piano during the second verse AHHHHHHHHH not gonna be able to replicate it but thats okay

the song/chorus has a.. an urban tropical feel? like it's ALMOST something you would hear with a tropical background but smth about the key, maybe, plavces it instead in an urban setting at night (bc lyrics) and seems kinda bittersweet

THATS WHAT THE AMUDO MOREUGE LINE DOES it adds such a sad kinda tired/resigned feel to the song which is like. on one hand the lyrics are so 'lets dance like crazy without a care in the world' but on the other hand the song feels so lonely and kind of. 'don't worry about me, i'll manage my sadness alone'??? like, 'let's have fun together but i'm really sad even though i'm smiling' kinda thing ARGHHHHH

get lit

seungmin's line rmeinds me of smth ARGHH its another skz song i know that for sure but i cant remember which one (ngl a lot of the songs in this album have parts that remind me of another kpop song,,, one of the above reminded me of nct but icr which song)

oh wait i think its my pace @ seungmins line

the instrumental would be so cool for mashups etc

wait one of the lines is 'today im so cocky' which is interesting bc theres a previous line (sueprbowl?) thats about not being cocky or smth HMMM i would revisit but tbh i cbb rn rip

collision

tRUMPETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT... i think

trumpets reminded me of maknae on top and this song also suits jeongin's voice sm i love it here

oh??? the ringing at the end???

fnf

this REMINDS ME OF SMTH TOO an dits not kpop

but i do really like it

'ashes up in the sky' ,,,, thinkingthinkingthinking

this feels like the opposite of time out and idk how to explain it

lix singing !!!!!! i love it sm

WAIT THSI ONE ACTUALLY REMINDS ME OF B ME wait no or is it levanter

the flaura and fauna line also reminds me of venom

both of the above points refer to the melody ,, seungmin's venom prechorus "cant escape-" and then it jumps The Other Song which i cant figure out what it is AHH

was that an eagle did i just hear an eagle

the minho/chan ending is so <3 <3 <3

youtiful

the muted piano i [crying] also almost gives me knnw vibes

'must be an oracle' ????? trying to understand this. like. it must be predicting smth,, but what,,, 'look at the stars fall / they leave the sky, goodbye' which part of this is the oracle i-- ad oracle as in like a person or a message but either way

if anyone covers this song please use a xylophone or marimba hehe would be so <3

oh i can see this second verse being animated so beautifully

why did changbin singing at the end make me so incredibly soft

the sound

okay this song has been out for ages but i think the only thing i said about it was smth about the bass and also how it sounds like a 'final stand' kinda song

okay ngl i liked the jpn lyrics better for the chorus oopsies im sorry

the piano sounds so RAW like the ringing of it the way the key falls and the mallet hits the string like you can HEAR it like thats exactly how it sounds when you play that high on a piano and also like. imo i notice the sound more on older pianos and just bc of that personal association (???) this song gets a bit sadder

adding to the 'final stand' feel is the police sirens in the chorus

time out

i just love this song sm man like idk what to say at this point

OH IT REMINDS ME OF A DEEMO SONG AHHAHA WAIT LEMME FIND IT // this song omg i've never thought about it before but listening to time out just then, i literally went 'you ready?' and then i was like WAIT THATS A DIFFERENT SONG

this song would be such a fun end-of-concert/encore song woah

yeah no i really dont have much to say i just love this song sm

[fairycosmos]

I went somewhere once at 2 AM, a particularly dark place with lots of hurt energy. I´d seen a shadowperson before as well as objects that move themselves etc. but I chocked it all up to me being stressed or sleep deprived and didn´t really believe in ghosts. I started getting nauseated once we got on the road to the complex and once I saw a shadowperson on the steps I was like, let´s gtfo here please bc it felt as though it had been expecting us and I got CHILLS. The person I was with saw it too. I ended up getting flu sick and until we saged the house I was getting sicker by the minute. The moment we saged and told it essentially to gtfo my sinuses cleared up as if I´d never been sick in my life. It made me a believer, but I still don´t believe in traditional ghosts. I believe in parallel worlds and that certain places and certain times have certain windows a person can tap into depending on their sensitivity that day or in general. That being said, I don´t think a ¨ghost¨ is an embodiment of someone who has died. I think it´s a mass of energy governed by its influence(r)s, such as the emotional energy of the room or a memory or desire that occurred in the space, the time of day, etc. I think these energies require sensitive matter to become more material: worn objects or structures, water, or sensitive person(s).

Given the place´s history, part of me thinks that energy was desperate for a healer--but I don´t know if to transform it, commune with it, or be consumed by it. The window opened for it, and it found company, victim, or conduit; to this day, I don´t know, but I still see shadowpeople occasionally, and I chock them up to travelers caught or appearing in quirky spacetime windows. The one where I´m at can affect matter but generally doesn´t. It used to lie beside me at night and watch me from the window when I´d leave the house, but I never got malignant feelings from it. But I did from the one we saw urbexing, who I never saw follow us home but we (both!) certainly felt its manipulative intentions all over us.

Moral of the story: Don´t urbex without a full stomach, a good night´s sleep, and some protective trinkets in your pocket. Watch your thoughts and be careful about what you do and say in the location you go to and shower and sage when you get home. Stay safe, everyone and happy almost Halloween (the time during which the veil is the thinnest it gets all year)!

truly crazy to read!! i hope it wast just lonely, and waiting for friends or something not very nefarious. though even that is very sad and tragic in its own way. i also always wondered if cleansing with sage was a myth or not, but it's bizarre that it like, instantly healed you. makes you stop and think at least. i don't know what to make of it really. also i loveeee ur theory on ghosts lol slightly off topic but if you ever write a horror novel based around it - i'd so be down to read it. my friend doesn't think theyre dead loved ones, she thinks theyre beings from other dimensions that sometimes slip into our world. so a little like what you said. i always think shadow ppl are bc of my exhaustion/mental illness, but who knows. theres been stories about them forever. also, IDK how you found the courage to lie beside a presence at night, even if it wasn't malignant. i would need all the lights on and tv on and to call my mother lmfao. thank you for sharing, and happy (almost) halloween! i hope you have a lovely night.........x

[dontcrybecauseitsoverr]

update

Im about to graduate omggg, as usual, no one knows about this tumblr in my life, so that’s cool. Kaylee can know idc lol. But, somethings in  my life just don’t add up. I have a gf who I do love, and adore and all of this, but man our communication sucks, on her end, she just doesn’t text me or snap me for hours sometimes… for no reason lol, but snap score goes up but she doesn’t reply? Hurts a bit, I don’t feel like a priority in her life, she isn’t open with me about things, I have to fight to get answers out of her, and she just doesn’t tell me stuff. We’ve been dating for 5 months! Like what! Lol! I just don’t get it.so like what do i do...were not going to see each other for the entire summer. this is my longest relationship, as yall know they dont go too hot lololol. so many posts on here about gf’s and shit, i would be ruined if anyone found this, but this name is not associated to anything else of mine, unless someone like reverse searched the image, who knows. this is just my thoughts as they are thought of on paper, im sitting here listening to taylor swift, deciding about big things in my life. im going to maine for the summer month and a half or so, either i can have all the sex up there with my ex, a threesome, my bff cas who ive all fucked before lol, so thats funny. BUT, 3 months without her :L i wont even be able to see her at allll her dads a dick. i swear to god if we aren’t able to FT like 1-2 times a week, that is really gonna take a hit. theres no reason to not be able to ft me with airpods in, and all this shit, like come onnnnn do u really not want to talk to me. i just feel like this is going to end up in a text break up, i really dont want it. but shes stuck with me and my quirks and issues for 5 months! thats a long time! so who knows, i want it to work but it just may get so unberable at some point, im gona talk with her tho at least. also i just was reading up about how the brain processes near death experiences, and how wack the gamma rays are or something. and i recalled the time in senior year, when my friend was driving and making a turn into school across a busy road. (two years later a family of 4 got killed in the crash, actually by someone i knew in the dmv auto club, he went to jail, my friends and i did the math on the car crash - guy was going 125 mph when he hit them. 1 girl survived out of the family of 4. terrible) but, a car was really going fast coming towards us, and i thought it was gonna clip us, and i was in the backseat, i swear i had a marvel intro style play in front of my eyes, just flashing through life events, i couldnt even see the car coming per say, just the images that i cared about most in my life. and then we passed...and it was like nothing happened. this got off topic, but so do all my other posts. i just dont know what to do. she failed out of her student teaching this semester, and i felt i was at cause, but i dont think so. she said her mom was very upset with her, after the school stuff, and failing the driving test. but all she does all day is sit and watch tvvvvvv mannnnnn, ive tried so hard to get her to do things, and be productive and get her out of the dorm because i know what that life is like, failing out, and having no prospect, because ive been there so many times. ive been to 4 colleges! and she just doesn’t want to involve me, or just seems like she cares about me. i want it to work, i mean god, what breaking up for a month and a half just for a crazy sex summer? seems like an issue to meee lolol. not really looking forward to maine, but gotta do whatcha gotta do. fucking hell i graduate in 10 days what the hell its taken so many years im just numb to it i feel, everyone else cares way more than i do, and its gonna be a shame to try and express happiness and joy when im more just like thank god lol. anyway thats my late night talk i guess, lol goodnight?

[r0s3s26]

Hi ! (o^^o) I'm here for a match up please 🙏

My name's Duha , I'm 16 years old. I ´d like a male romantic partner . My pronons are she/her .

For my personality I 'm very caring , motherly and like to help .Even if I take care of everyone I'm forgetful when it comes to myself . Have adhd .I ´m an ambivert more leaning toward introversion, sensitive to noises . I'm introverted towards strangers and more talkative with my friends .

As for my hobbies I like to learn languages,to draw (I usually draw cute stuff) and write fluff headcanons and mini fanfics for my friends. I also don't mind reading gore or thriller/mystery novels. I also bake

When it comes to my outfit I like to wear anything practical especially baggy clothes

In a relationship I ´ll value loyalty a lot , someone who could bear watching a movie with me ( I tend to comment every thing that seems off in it like plot holes , writing mistakes incoherences , funny details that I noticed)+ someone that I feel comfortable around

Thanks for all of your posts ((o(^∇^)o)) I love your writing SO much . Have a good day / night !

Your Match up(s) are… Iida Tenya and Daichi Sawamura!!

<3 When you and iida first met it was a little awkward because of how shy and introverted you were, he kinda thought you hated him

<3 But once you became friends he saw your true personality and was hooked

<3 Likes getting dotted on by you once you got together, he feels like he can finally be calm around you

<3 Iida is like the unofficial dad of 1A (behind aizawa lol)

<3 Once you and Iida got together the rest of the class would call you mom and dad on acciedent because of how you act

<3 But because you also have adhd(twin) you can get hyper active with the class also and drop the motherly nature

<3 I feel like Denki has adhd like in my soul so you and him would be besties in my head (iida thinks he is gonna be a bad influence, hes just a little jelli, you didn’t here that from me though)

<3 He helps you actually take care of yourself when you forget, you have done the same for him so many times so he has to help you

<3 You both would be THE high school sweethearts

Song:

<3 Another mom and dad duo

<3 Sugas yalls wine aunt

<3 When you got together and he started bring you around the rest of the team

<3 He’s also good with hyperactive tendencies because of tanaka, noya, and hinata

<3 He had to soft launch to the team cause of how rowdey they get and he didn’t wanna make you nervous

<3 If you wore his jersey he would melt

<3 He doesn’t read a lot of thrillers or horror books but if you read them to him he would definitely listen

<3 Like yall cuddled up n shit and your reading to him while he plays with your hair

<3 Adorable

<3 Will be your taste tester when you bake

<3 Also high school sweetheart matiral

Song:

(Authors Note: Im really sorry about how late this is. Theres been a bunch of crazy stuff happening in my life so its made updates a bit slow. But I do hope you like and enjoy the fic🫶🏽)