#theres everyone else and then theres cas

[princemick]

me calling my blorbo a flop is simple facts, I am not shaming him he's just a lil nepo baby whos really good at not performing when its needed. u calling me blorbo a flop is evil and mean and he doesnt deserve that and here's a 5k essay on how hes actually underrated

[scoobydoodean]

i think even though cas was in there stealing the journal, i think he was trying to legitimately convince dean to come to his side, because he does it the Very next episode (although he doesnt seem to realize that hes being manipulative about it..im not trying to infantilize him i just remember him being confused/surprised when dean points out that crowley gave him the same line)

like i do think theres a bit of double think in how castiel acts and behaves and he doesnt seem to grasp the emotional consequences of his actions, especially in this season.

like he thinks hes saying "if you trust me (please trust me) i can get crowley to release lisa and ben, because you wont be a threat anymore to his plan"

but dean hears "if you want lisa and ben back, you'll have to fall in line"

thats not to say dean is wrong for hearing it like that, but castiel really seems to be struggling with communication because he did this all for dean (in his mind) and once it's all over everything will be fine, lucifer and michael will stay in their cage, and dean and lisa will be safe at home.

but at this point hes killed too many and hurt too many people to turn back so when dean pleads for him to back down hes hearing dean say "im fine with risking the apocalypse again, and i cant trust you to do a plan that you are certain will work" when dean is just worried about another eve slipping through

its just very delightfully complex (imho) i dont really have a conclusion

Cas definitely wanted Dean on his side. He didn't need to wake Dean up or have a conversation with him to get the journal. He chose to wake him up and have that conversation because he desperately wanted Dean not to think badly of him. It's just hilarious that at the same time, he was also like. There to steal shit. When he saw Dean sleeping on that couch, he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk to Dean.

Trying to get Dean on his side was important to Cas because he loves Dean and values their friendship, but it was also important to him because Cas had, to some extent, tied his self-image to everyone else's perception of him over the whole season. He lies to all of his friends—Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Rachel. He lies to the Winchesters because he wants a place he can come to where someone still recognizes him as the person he used to be and not the person he is becoming. Crowley puts this best:

CROWLEY: The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.

This is a period where Cas was doubting everything and wrestling with moral quandaries. He sees his own actions as monstrous, but also believes that monstrosity is necessary. He and Dean have a conversation about this very early on in 6.06, after their last interaction in 6.03 had Cas causing a child excruciating pain to gain information.

DEAN What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one. CASTIEL I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.

I've talked about how the title of this episode, "You Can't Handle The Truth", shows Cas's hand in that he doesn't believe anybody else can handle the dirty work. He knows it makes him look bad and that's why he lies about it—to protect his image.

The whole of 6.20, he's struggling, but he's doing it alone. To his friends, he presents his actions with surety—telling Dean insistently that Cas knows what he's doing and that there's nothing broken about his plan, while he says privately praying to his father:

Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me…A sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don’t…I’m gonna ju– I’m gonna do whatever I… Whatever I must.

And to himself about working with Crowley:

I asked myself, “what was I doing with this vermin?”

And while betraying Crowley briefly by killing demons Crowley sent after the Winchesters:

For a brief moment…I was me again.

Sam and Dean and Bobby's belief in Cas's goodness (that he was himself) was so important to Cas that he was spying on them all of 6.20 despite his alleged busy schedule just to check in and see what they were thinking about him. And when they did trust him again for that brief moment, he felt relief, but also knew it was all an illusion and felt shame and guilt about it:

Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie. 

The same discomfort and shame seeps off Cas in 5.17 when Sam and Dean thank him for saving them, while Cas knows Astropos was only after them because of him, and that if they understood the full picture, their feelings about what he'd actually done to "save" them would be very very different. He knows he's receiving praise he doesn't deserve, so the esteem they place on him is hollow.

On the other hand, I do think Cas grasps the emotional consequences of his actions for the most part. That's why he lied the whole season—because he was afraid of the fallout among every single person he knew and even more as the lies stacked and stacked. He knew none of them would agree with what he was doing. But the consequences with Sam and Dean also extend a little deeper than Cas thought they would, and that's what wounds him the absolute most, I think. I don't think Cas expected Sam to question whether Cas intentionally left his soul in The Cage, or for Dean to question whether or not Cas was involved in the plot to kidnap Lisa and Ben in 6.21. He is genuinely and deeply wounded when his care for them is essentially questioned at the very foundation and it leaves him feeling betrayed in his own way.

The thing is, Cas's privately held doubts still do not match the picture he presents to the Winchesters even after he is exposed. Privately, Cas is starting to see the pride and hubris underlying some of his choices:

I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…

I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.

I see now that was arrogance…Hubris 

Privately, Cas reveals that his motives aren't as pure as he presents them to be:

I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.

Hiding…Lying…Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure.

Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters’ guardian.

But to the Winchesters? He says "I did it all for you" and "I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you" and "It's not broken". He doesn't let them see his doubts, because he might crumble under them—and because sunk cost fallacy and his own pride won't allow him to accept being questioned even by his closest friends. In other words, he continues to lie, and after the big reveal, Dean can see right through him.

CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you. DEAN: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.

Cas's pride also comes out in this conversation at night in Bobby's house.

DEAN: I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man. CASTIEL: Or what?

Dean says he isn't going to logic Cas. Bobby and Sam and Dean already tried that earlier that day, Balthazar will also try later, and it doesn't register. Dean puts all of the technical arguments aside and is trying to say (coupled with his earlier assertions) "I know you think you have to do this, but all of us can see you're going off the deep end and even you know that deep down. Please trust us on this." But Cas's response is "Or what?" He turns it into a battle of wills, then adds, "You can't stop me. You're just a man", which is also a dogwhistle for Dean when dealing with angels, who repeatedly over the course of the show, have called him a monkey, a dog, a pet, and other things to express the idea that he is beneath them as a justification for using and hurting him. It immediately turns them against each other because Cas feels like Dean is basically calling him crazy and is offended by the idea that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (even though he has his own private doubts, because at this point his self-image hinges on turning out to be right). Dean is seeing the angelic sense of superiority come out—something he’s far more familiar with than he’d like to be—something common to the angels who have used and manipulated and threatened him and acted entitled to him… and coupled with all the questions about exactly how involved Cas was in using Dean to get alphas over the course of the season and how he knows Cas used him in “The French Mistake”? It doesn’t paint a pretty picture for Dean.

In addition to their profound bond, I think Dean saying, "Cas, we can fix this!" and Dean being Cas's defender the entirety of 6.20 is also why Cas comes to him at the end of the episode. Dean is the weak link in the chain at the time (that completely changes in the next episode when Lisa and Ben are kidnapped). But Dean is also so devastated about all the faith he had in Cas's honesty being crushed, and he's reliving the demon blood arc in some sense, and he's probably reevaluating what he felt when Cas used him in "The French Mistake" and what exactly was going on in "My Heart Will Go On" and how—when Crowley forced him and Sam into doing his bidding, Cas knew it and he let it happen—he let it happen because he wanted the alphas. Not only did Cas know Crowley was using them—he went to great lengths to cover up his involvement and keep them off Crowley's tail. Cas's speech in the following episode demanding Dean's trust again is not only ill-timed while Dean is worried sick about Lisa and Ben—it's full of lies and half truths and even a little shit slinging that Dean knows isn't fair and that is deeply reminiscent of Sam's speech full of falehoods about trust in 4.21.

On Cas's side, I think you're spot on about his lack of cognizance on how he comes across when he says:

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

I don't think Cas meant to suggest that the first statement depends on the second one (we can judge as much when he heals Lisa at the end of the episode) but that's absolutely how it comes across.

[iforgotwhaticalledthis]

Rae Morningstar and Loneliness: An Analysis

SO something that occurred to me recently is how much being alone effects. well. everyone in Fable(not like everyone everyone but like,a not insignificant amount of people.) Their society is shown to be one of few(if not the only) thriving communities, and lots of people deal with being alone either before they join the cast, or during. Take Ulysses. when he shows up in Fable, he has to grapple with the fact that he is the last of his race. Same with Ari- being one of the last of the Aether. And for characters like Icarus, Caspian, and many many others, they have to deal with being alone before they find a community of people they can be around and trust. One such case is Rae Morningstar.

At the start of the story, Rae is alone. Almost everyone has some form of connection. Icarus, Centross, and Easton have ominous bane. Momboo, Jamie, and Easton are family. Haley already knows Momboo. The only people without any connection are Athena, Will, and Rae. Will's not really around much, and well, Athena had a retconned family so it doesn't really affect his character. (Though i totally do have thoughts about this post retconned Athena and stuff but this is a Rae post). However, by the end of the series, Rae is deeply embedded in the community. He was alone once. and he tries his hardest never to be again.

Rae's lowest moments are when he's alone. In season 1, when Enderian makes him that offer, he probably wouldve taken it in a heartbeat, if not for the fact that if he did, he would be Alone. (and also that he might be used against his friends) In s2 when he finds out he and Icarus are brothers, he is so desperate to hold on to that relationship. I think its why he's so desperate to keep that connection. He doesnt want to lose his brother again. Also the beginning of S2 IS SO bad for him. All of his friends, his family all gone. he's alone yet surrounded by the people he knows. He mentions how bad it wouldve been if not for Ocie- the one person who can relate to him. Someone that stops him from being completely alone. Then theres the sculk arc, which, do I even have to explain? In s3 , Rae gets mad at Centross. A big reason is because Centross left him alone. And when Icarus starts to isolate, later on, what does Rae say, in concern "I just don't want them to be alone." Rae was alone before. so now he tries to make sure that no one else in the community is. For example, he reaches out to everyone. He's always the one people go to for help, so that when they need it they won't be alone. See where Im going with this?

Another thing. Each and every time Rae met one of his partners? Bot him and the partner have been alone. Take Caspian- I mean Cas was alone in the prison, he was isolated. And Rae had been banned from seeing Jamie and Athena was being kept away. The two people he was closest too at the time had left him- even if it wasn't their own choice. When he met Aax, everyone he knew and loved had forgotten him. And Aax had been sitting alone in a cave. Waiting for Theo to return. Even when they first met, Aax was alone, being the only one to escape from the Telchins, and Rae was trapped in a home where he had no one to turn to. When he met Fenris, ,he was alone, having run from his home to keep people safe. And Fenris was alone after being turned into a wolf who couldnt even talk to other animals. for possibly centuries.

Even in smaller things, he doesn't want to be alone, like when he learns Centross and Fenris forgave Ven. He doesn't know how to deal with that anger, now that he's alone in it. He gets tatoos so that he wont forget these people, so he'll never be alone. And at the end of hist story? He and his family turn into gods. He'll never be alone, not even in death.

Anyway i just had some thoughts. if you noticed any inaccuries/have any points to add/ disagree with any of my points please reblog! i want to see waht other people think. Also i might make a follow up on how loneliness affects other characters, this really got me thinking

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[raihanijulie]

[ LEMNISCUS GUIDE BLOG!!! ]

☆Reading until end of blog will be much appreciated!!! (Psst, theres a discord server link i slipped in btw....)

Picture below isnt accurate with tumblr bc this was made for instagram post.

You may be wondering... "What is Lemniscus? Why do you keep mentioning it in your posts?"

TO BEGIN WITH, Lemniscus is one of the planets in this universe with Ribbaniuns the living beings in it! The population of Lemniscus consist the various anthropomorphic animals.

And thats where we begin sharing the story and contents of these characters by the name LEMNISCUS! You could say Lemniscus is a series/project my friends and i worked on together!!! (We took Lemniscus bc we literally only focus on this planet... No else.)

Ah... So then, "Who are the characters? Why do they look like the characters from Sonic series?"

THIS. is a good one to explain and i reallly want you guys to keep in mind with this!!!!

Yes! The Lemniscus cast does look like the characters from Sonic the hedgehog because they do take the design and traits inspiration from them! BUT! The personality, backstories, interractions, lores, all of those... We worked and develop on it ourselves!!! (Theres similiarities still, but its only SLIGHT!!! Theres some differences when compared)

Thats why this is NOT counted as Sonic au, instead, its their own universe and story! The Lemniscus cast are original characters/ocs based on existing character that later we develop so they wont look EXACTLY like the existing char they took inspiration of!

I could say that this universe's origins of making is basically 'based on Sonic'. Throughout time, there are improvisasion little by little as we worked on building chars and stories, making it their own thing :D!! So, again, Lemniscus and Sonic are two different thing... I appreciate yall's understanding. I dont want any miscommunication between Lemniscus and Sonic franchise! <"3

The original characters belong to their respective owners <3 (Keep in mind we are 4 person putting our characters in ONE and worked together in this)

Alright!!! Now INTRODUCE THE CAST/CHARACTERS!

Here ill list out the characters name with their profile links AND respective owners too! Get to know each of them by clicking their names:

Hz Railstar, Alora Quinn, Victoria Opal, Ezra (JULIE/HANA!!! ME!!! :D HOIHOI!!! I link you guys to my chars' masterpost in tumblr hehe,,, its more detailed!!!)

Gausberto, Nova, Puffin, Xenophone (Hani! NOTE: She doesnt put much infos of her characters, i'll most likely be the one to share the infos through source from her she is my own sister after all Infos about Hani's chars are most likely in the discord server!)

Aero and Noire ( @m3tr0n0m333 )

Rambutan Stoneheart ( @cherriosblog )

OH!!! But thats not it!! Theres more infos i'd like to share....

Slowly but surely, we noticed our Lemniscus contents dragged people to start being curious about it, even interested with the series/project we worked! Of course, with a warm welcome, we opened a discord server, ☆LEMNISCUS (Hz Universe), for the little community we have :D!!!

The server is a great place for you to learn more about the characters (bc again, SOME of the Lemniscus cast here are explained alot more in the discord server instead!) and LORESSS obviously! Its even easier and you can keep on track whenever new things are shared by us :)

The characters arent only the ones shown here... In fact, there are more than you think. Yes! Im talkin bout the side characters! Theyre mostly explained and digged alot more in the server soo....

Hop in and join to get more familliar of Lemniscus!! ☆

.

This must conclude the blog. Thank you everyone for the consideration and supports of this little project we worked on! <3 I, the one to start all this fun chaotic universe is very grateful that i'd make it this far by sharing contents of these silli cast, not only me, but by you dedicated supporters and friends that worked alongside me ☆

Live, laugh, burn Hertz!🔥🔥🔥🔥

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas!! infodump anon here :)

i think ive decided my sexuality now, thank you for your support :D ive settled on bi for the time being, but am open to being pan/considering just saying im pan. i told one of my friends about it, and she was really cool about it!!!

as with my gender, im experimenting with being genderfluid. i find that i have what i call "fem days" and "masc days" (idk if this is a widely used term lol) i usually have fem days but sometimes i find myself presenting a lot more masc like, and (being AFAB) find it a bit more difficult on these days. i dont really know what to do about it, but for now i have an assigned bra that i use that i have really tight to try to compress everything and flatten it out (i know its probably not good for me im sorry ToT)

i did something im really proud of too!!! for context, at my school theres a new policy where we have to use lockers. and lucky me got the locker thats practically in the middle of everyone elses :/ i found that really overwhelming, because it would get really loud and crowded. these lockers are like plastic ones about 40cm wide (????) and two stacked on top of eachother so my poor little brain couldnt haddle that :( i asked my leader of wellbeing if i could change to a spare locker at the end and he was really cool about it!!! i find it very hard to ask for things, and have a fear of confrontation so i brought a few friends with me for support lol

i just wanna say that you for your support and i hope to give you more updates :D

have a great day/night and stay hydrated :3

Hi!

I'm so proud of you for asking for what you need! That's amazing, and you should be proud of yourself.

Yeah so wearing a bra tightly isn't a good idea because unless it's made to compress, it's probably going to cause issues because the compression won't be evenly spread across your chest. I looked it up and it says that a bra that is too tight can cause back pain, tissue/nerve damage, and issues with posture. Do you have other options? Maybe clothing that is a bit looser so it doesn't show your chest? That's what I do on my more-masc days, especially when I can't bind!

Sending love!

[nevarroes]

I love love love how Gort and Cas - totally fucked up people in the totally fucked up relationship - eventually and unintentionally heal some parts of each other

NODS exactly exactly u get it...🤒

I like to think that for Gortash theres smth similar where he just so completely trusts Cas now because before that nd w everyone else he'd always be a bit paranoid and never trust anyone, prepared for them to backstab him and flinch at random touch and with Cas its just..... gone. peace of mind nd ability to not think about that for the first time since getting out of the Hells if that makes sense

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

What the shit is everhood

(Info dump pls?)

Gladly! ^w^

so everhood is a game that I would say is very similar to undertale, from the pixel art style to the humour to the general uhh theme? i guess is the word? Where you play as a wooden puppet named red on a quest to get your arm back from gold pig. The battle mechanic is a rhythm based system where you have to jump around and over beats the enemies through at you. The music is absolutely fucking fantastic and i actually bought the soundtrack i like it so much lol

a couple battles get absolutely insane with the visuals too, to the point im not even totally sure i can do a description justice? you can check out this video if you're curious, theres really no spoilers in this battle but it shows what im talking about. these battles are where the photosensitivity warning really comes in though, so be cautious if that effects you

I can't go too deep into the plot without getting into spoiler territory, so i'll put that under the cut for anyone who's curious, but here's what I can say! You go around collecting clues to find gold pig and get your arm back, and along the way you get to meet all the wonderful characters that populate Everhood. Like Rasta beast, Noseferatchu the sneezing vampire, Flan and Muck, the dancing mushrooms, a vampire who's name always changes. You really get to know and love these characters while also learning that maybe everything isn't as it seems in Everhood. Maybe, actually nothing is what it seems. Maybe you're the only one willing to do something about. But..... are you willing?

oh also kermit is there and I think he might be god? Also you can kill him and it impacts literally nothing

Full plot summary under the cut. I highly recommend you play the game without spoilers, but if you're like me and you Need to know what happens before you play then go wild. I'll only be talking about the intended good ending though, since I haven't gotten around to playing the secret endings yet- oh also mild spoilers for undertale i guess if youre worried about that in 2023

so when I say its similar to undertale in themes, its sort of. in a reverse sense. In undertale the good ending is the pacifist route. By saving the monsters you help them escape the underground and better their situation. It is mercy, the direct functional opposite of killing, that saves you. There is no mercy kill because using mercy ends the fight period.

Well in Everhood, the good ending requires you to kill everyone.

Your arm was taken from you because you've done this before, wiped out countless lives, friends even. And now you must finish the job. Its hard and sad and it sucks but it has to be you because no one else is going to. It falls on you to go back to these spots you've been through already, these happy cheerful locations, and hunt down everyone you've come to know over the course of the game.

so why do you need to kill everyone? and how on earth is it similar to undertale at all? well, Everhood isn't just the title of the game or the location it takes place, its the state every single character in the game is stuck in.

in the distant past, humanity found a way to reach another world, one they called Everhood. And in this world, no one could ever die. Some people chose to stay in this world, which lost connection to the human world for some reason i dont remember rn, and in doing so slowly lost their humanity. They lived for eons and eons and eons, changing their shape and loosing themselves in the process. You discover at one point that the Green Mage, a chaotic character whom I love, has been keeping track of the years everyone has spent in Everhood, every year a tally on the wall of their secret playroom. It takes three hours to get to the end of this hallway, to give you an idea of scale here. three real time hours.

Your character, Red, is a vessel for the literal human player behind the screen to free the inhabitants of Everhood from eternity. They aren't really happy. They can't be. They've been stuck for so long, and even though they beg and plead for you not to kill them you have to. Its the only way for them to be happy and move on from Everhood. And don't get me wrong you CAN choose not to go through with it. You have to actively fight back after this reveal to kill anyone. I haven't played through this way, so I can't speak on it.

The ending is sort of ambiguous, in which Pink (the person pretending to be Red and letting you the player control them) goes to an afterlife after killing everyone and gets to see them one last time, and they're happy. They forgive you. One by one you talk to them and they thank you for freeing them, apologize for fighting you, and move on happily to whatever comes after death. I choose to interpret it literally, but there's something to be said about the idea it's all in Pink's head. I don't think it was meant to be taken that way, but its one way to look at it.

The game sort of looses people with this being the good ending. But I think it's a beautiful metaphor. Sometimes you keep doing things that hurt you only because you're used to it. Maybe you don't even realize how its hurting you, its better than the alternative right? For the longest time I kept my bedroom blinds perpetually closed because the bright sunlight gave me headaches. I didn't realize just how depressed it was making me to be in near constant darkness like that. It was only after I bought a plant on a whim that I realized how much happier I was letting in the sunlight. You get so used to bad habits and awful jobs and clothes you hate because they're familiar. And doesn't it just seem easier? To take non-action and let everyone keep living and having fun in Everhood? Green Mage hosts DnD every week (or whatever counts as a week after you've lived for eternity), go play with the mushrooms in the forest, doesn't that sound lovely? You don't have to kill anyone, just keep living on exactly as you were! You have friends here Red! It hurts too much to kill them! they don't want to die! why not just give up? How could anything good come from the pain of change?

[dooplissss]

i saw your tags on that post, can you tell me about the homestuck quadrants? i was hugely into homestuck like 10 years ago but i’ve forgotten almost everything. i want to remember the ancient ways

* cracks knuckles >:) *

Matesprit ❤️ is easy, its just what humans see as romance and true love etc. One of the two reproductive quadrants, yadda yadda you get it.

Examples: - Morticia <3 Gomez - Ruby <3 Sapphire - Darcy <3 Elizabeth, with arguably some grey/black romance thru the story but thats what makes it so enduring

Moirails ♦️ is my personal favorite quadrant and is fairly straightforward, tho the canon definition is different from fanon. In fanon, its interpreted basically as best friends/queerplatonic, which, yeah, can and usually does happen with that proximity and thats why I love it, but in canon its more a power balance to prevent violence and death, typically with one figure reining back a more chaotic one. When applying to humans and other fandoms tho its better to lean toward the slightly fanon interpretation since Alternia's violent culture is so different from ours.

Examples: - Nepeta <> Equius - Aziraphale <> Crowley (obvi the situation is changing but lets leave this here) - Dean <> Castiel (obvi i'm team matesprit but canonically they belong here up til cas declares his love) - Joel <> Ellie (this is a strictly platonic quadrant dw) - Caleb <> Nott/Veth (I want to shake liam and sam so bad and explain that the relationship they were looking for was right here and they didnt have to awkwardly choose between romance and friendship)

Auspictice ♣️is the one everyone gets wrong and drives me the most insane. It's a tricky and very specific balancing dynamic thats hard to find, except maybe on the CW. Canonically, its a group of three people, two (left and right leaves) want to outright kill each other. This does not make them kismesis, I cannot stress that enough, kismesis don't want each other dead, but we'll get there in a sec. The third person is meant to prevent them from killing each other, being the mediator. Its rare for this dynamic to not be outright toxic, esp in human examples, but its a healthy option on Alternia to prevent unnecessary murder. I think this dynamic is meant to be temporary tho, even in that culture, as it weighs on the mediator a lot.

Examples: - Eridan <3< Sollux ^ Feferi, unfortunately unsuccessful showing how difficult and straining this relationship type is (also everyone who said eridan and sollux were kismesis owes me $5, I'll become a millionaire instantly) - Edward <3< Jacob ^ Bella - Pearl <3< Greg ^ Steven, a happy ending example of an auspictice (ignore the ptsd)

Kismesis ♠️is. man where do I begin. its so good. its such a fun dynamic, especially when you have a pairing that gets it just right. Kismesis is perfect enemies, arch-rivals that share a mutual respect and drive each other to improve themselves to better outwit their opponent. Its when a captain sees one of their ships on fire and smiles, knowing just who did it. Its tipping your opponents head up by the tip of a sword. Its the bad guy showing up at your doorstep because theres no one else they trust more than their greatest nemesis. Its the other reproductive quadrant because its just as deep and passionate as true love, and it can in fact switch between love and hate very easily and often.

Examples: - Quark <3< Odo (imo the BEST non-homestuck example) - Batman <3< Joker (friend hates when i say this but i'm right, esp with lego batman) - Xavier <3< Magneto - Light <3< L - God <3< Satan, why not lmao

I wish homestuck was seen as less cringe bc the quadrants are SOOO FUN to apply to ships and dynamics in other fandoms and contexts. At the same time, people get the quadrants wrong constantly, especially between kismesis and auspictice. And the quadrants aren't static, you don't have to lock a ship in just one forever! feelings change and very easily turn from black to red to black again, its all so complicated and fun to watch.

Hope all this makes sense lmao, thanks for the ask!

[soullessjack]

something else about the soulless jack arc that rlly … peeved? me is that it gives us both Jack’s and the Winchesters/hunters’ perspectives, but fully plays out as if we the audience are unaware of what happened between jack and mary. it’s still very heartbreaking and gutting nonetheless, but it’s also very inconsistent with how it intertwines the two. following jack, we see him and mary argue and we see him melt down and kill her and we see him feel guilt and grief and fear for it. we know it was an accident and we know that he’s been driven to a point of instability by his own guilt and we know he wants to fix it and we even see jack make an effort to do so.

however, following TFW and Bobby and company, we see them argue about what could’ve happened. Cas suggests that Jack didn’t realize it was wrong (which also implies that everybody automatically assumed jack killed her purposefully, literally giving him no leeway here). Bobby declares that theres nothing left in jack but Lucifer with his human soul gone—that he’s an unstoppable monster who has to be put down just like any other MOTW. Sam and dean argue if Jack is even still Jack and how they should approach it from there. seeing Jack’s own family discuss if and how to stop him does give some tension, but there is zero suspense because —

1) sam and dean knew from Rowena that Jack was trying to resurrect mary; they saw him bring her body back and they saw the anguished look on his face when she didn’t wake up and they heard him say “it didn’t work,” —so that’s already a huge chunk missing, and —

2) we already know the answer to every question they’re posing. instead of suspense at wondering if Jack finally tipped over the edge, we’re dreading the eventual confrontation because we know what they don’t know, and what they do know concerning Rowena and Jack’s failed spell was left out of the entire conversation after it happened.

when jack is on tv and making headlines as a doomsday bringer and dropping bodies for sam and dean to trail, we can’t be in shock that he’s doing something so out of character because we saw Duma manipulate him, saw what she promised him, and we know he’s well-intentioned despite his horrific actions (also, having jack torture/murder ppl for the sake of his family is something he’s already done before, it’s just taken to a new level without his soul to hold him back). everyone is following the narrative that jack has finally gone awol or succumbed to his true nature or whatever, and that is very much played intentionally as the teetering “will he, won’t he” question hanging around jacks entire character. but again, we don’t feel any of the suspense that question typically carries in a story because it’s already answered for us.

you cannot reasonably expect the audience to be in awe and suspense and believe jack is full blown big bad now while repeatedly showing us that jack still has good intentions. Hell, even the scene where they confront jack to trick him into the Ma’lak box is frustrating, because while Jack’s dismissive blame-shifting demeanor about Mary’s death is a reasonable tipping point for sam and dean’s anger and subsequent actions, there’s also the fact that jack very bluntly says things like “I didn’t think I’d see you again / I really missed you guys / I just want everything to be back the way it was,” that purifying the world is “like hunting,” and further more he even agrees to be locked up because, soul or not, he genuinely doesn’t want to hurt anyone anymore; all which very glaringly points to him not being as far gone as we’re supposed to think and worry about.

again, it’s all still very painful and upsetting to watch, but most of the pain comes from the fact that we know the missing details that are creating the conflict and are helpless to do anything with it, rather than the conflict itself.

[concretdandelion]

i started rewatching supernatural really just to kind of have something on in the background and now i really need a supernatural and stranger things crossover cause like the whole point of supernatural is that theres weird shit out there and hunters spend their time driving around america to go and kill that weird shit so like imagine with me for a second modern au stranger things set in like the late 2000s early 2010s where post season 4 sam, dean, and cas hear about how cursed hawkins is and go to investigate it and run into the stranger things gang who help catch them up to speed and then they help them end all the stuff with like the upside down by calling a bunch of their hunter friends and like somewhere in this cas and el are relating to having powers and being taken for granted by those around them because of said powers, i think sam and dean would love joyce cause they have mommy issues but I also think they would be like annoyed by the party cause they're these know it all kids with no concern for their own safety but with the older teens i think dean, steve, robin, and eddie would be getting up to shenanigans while sam and nancy would be putting in all the brain work cause they can't stand everyone else not getting it like they do or taking the research as serious and i think johnathan and argyle would get cas hella high like the idea of them not caring that cas is supposed to be this like angle is really funny to me, i also think bobby and hopper would be reluctant friends mostly cause they are very similar characters but would have slight disagreements about small stuff that no one really cares about

[hyenagurl]

something that i find hard to articulate but nevertheless find very insidious is that it sometimes feels inevitable that as a woman i will have children. that no matter what beliefs i have on the matter or what choices i make now wont matter and im just gonna give birth and be a mother anyways later on.

this comes from different things: there is of course the omnipresent threat of my reproductive rights being taken away after roe v wade was overturned (even in my super liberal state of CA a woman was arrested in bakersfield a more republican town for having a miscarriage) and that ill merely be forced to carry through a pregnancy because of no other option. theres the bioessentialist trad idea that all women have “biological clocks” that are ticking until a switch flips and she becomes baby crazy and wants to become a mother.

and theres a third thing, related to the second reason but distinct in that i find it hardest to articulate and the scariest, is that it will happen simply because what i want now doesnt matter, what i believe in as a woman doesnt matter; that my desires not to injure myself in childbirth, not to ruin myself financially in the current economy with childcare costs, not to pass on my mental health issues to my child, amid literally hundreds of other reasons, none of that matters because im most likely going to change my mind. i feel like every where i look in media and in my real life i see women that have just changed their minds despite not initially wanting to have children, or even still not really wanting children, whether its due to pressure from their male partners, their inability to terminate it or even just a general passivity to their own lives that women are socialized into: its already happening and everyone else is doing it, so i might as well. except it results in a complete overhaul if not destruction of your old life and an entire new person. and thats just crazy and horrifying to me. that all of the very valid and reasonable beliefs i have towards pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood and why its not the choice for me, will eventually and inevitably disappear and ill do it anyway, simply because of bad luck and an deeply ingrained sense of apathy towards my own self interest as a woman in services to others.

[slothgiirl]

the trashpile: dympna devers

reader runs into dymphna while picking up some groceries. is cleaning out her dead alcoholic fathers place (who probs did drugs too,,mb?). she gets annoyed and snaps at him and he thinks its hot bc everyone else just does what he wants them too

reader takes a walk pretty late because shes sad that her dad died and even tho they had no relationship its like now theres no way he’ll get better and be a dad, hes just gone. dymphna pulls up in his car, tells her to get in, he’ll drive her back. she doesnt want to. he gets out of the car, leaving it running and talks her into taking a ride with her. (he was trying to be friendly in his own obnoxious grandiose way) they end up parking and drinking together and then they fuck. he complains shes prissy bc uni. reader comments uni is just fucking and going to class for exams. “maybe i shouldve gone to uni then?”

reader starts taking her dads stuff to donation centers. breaks apart the table and tries to figure out if she should just leave it on the curb or take it all the way there. takes a break outside, trying to work through the complicated emotions she has over his death. dymphna spots her and is like i can call arm to help u and shes all like oh why dont u just help urself, thinking hes sort of spoiled in the same way the posh girls at her boarding school were even though hes a pretty trashy wanna be gangster. hes all “id help with the right incentive” she tells him to fuck off but ends up blowing him (and getting him to help).

dymphna takes reader to bar. they play pool and he messes with her. reader notices ppl r looking at her and the way they treat him and she wasnt born yesterday like she knows what it means to be a devers but idk shes into his confident aggression. they have drinks and dymphna ditches arm to go fuck the reader back at his. readers like um dont ditch ur friend? but lets it go quick. wakes up alone and his sisters r like “u came out of nowhere” being bitchy and sussing reader out

reader runs into arm and his family. is not surprised his son is on the spectrum and offers to have her mom write a letter of recommendation so she can get the job at the school in Cork. “ur dymphna’s woman.” “hardly, think i'd remember agreeing to that” 

dymphna shows up at her house late at night and makes a fuss until she opens up. they fuck and he learns she handles customer complaints for some websites (compsci major) reader tries to make appointment to sell house but ends up delaying (still mourning her loss). dymphna takes her out for breakfast. 

reader wakes up at his house. this time dymphna is there and reader complains about the mold in the bathroom. they all give her shit for it and dymphna tells arm to figure that out but readers all no dont- charlie asks if its true she went to uni and reader says yeah, it was a bitch but i finished as dymphna pulls her onto his lap to watch tv. she means to get up and leave but feels comfortable and realizes she has a lot of feelings for him

theres a party at the devers and reader and charlie find a corner and nurse a beer while charlie wonders if she might go to uni. reader goes to get another drink and sees dymphna and his uncle doing coke. reader passes on the coke (not stupid). dymphna makes introductions and his uncle comments its probably best she doesnt do coke (look at ursula) reader snaps that its not anyones fault and his uncle is like uve got lip (control ur woman) and dymphna tells her to shut the fuck up yeah babe? reader gets annoyed and goes to bed (when she should just leave) 

reluctantly cleans the bathroom bc fuck shes not using anything when she can see mold and grime built up (scale i think its called on tile?). complains to dymphna that hes a big fish small pond but still takes his uncles shit and dymphna yells at her getting pissed off that she doesnt understand how business is done. throw things at each other and fuck. after he talks about family and stuff (heavy implication he wants her to be his wife) ill take care of u. reader: i make 80k i dont need anyone

theres some party where ppl get pissed drunk. reader doesnt like dymphna getting high and drunk. it reminds her of her father only her dad got comatose and dymphna gets short tempered and somehow even more wild. charlie and reader hide out in her room. charlie mentions sooner or later he’ll come looking for her and readers like ill kick his arse. charlie laughs and asks if reader will help her with her schoolwork. totally. charlie: i thought u were leaving tho reader: idk anymore. finnigan stumbles in and reader tells charlie to go and throws a bottle at the man but misses. he pins her down on the bed but she manages to grab the lamp and smash it on his head. reader is shaking when dymphna comes in to see what the fuck is going on. reader is like “help me take care of this” he agrees. (shes way more hardcore and cool than he is)

reader has arm and dymphna make it look like finnigan was drunk and drove himself off a cliff. arm drives them back into town. dymphna holds reader close. “we take care of each other” “yeah” 

notes: charlie goes to uni and breaks the cycle. reader and dymphna have their weird toxic codependent relationship and reader eventually takes over the family business

[girlyaois]

💌, ❤️, and 💭 for your spn S/I!!

💌 - any major changes in your selfship lore over time? if so, compare how it used to be with how it's now.

oh man! yeah, theres been some big changes over the years.. she sort of evolved alongside me, and its lore changed to fit what i needed at the time(s). i believe the concept of being part demon part angel was always a thing, but i developed what that means for him over time, how that works, etc. at first he was essentially just some lame transmasc kid (kid in the way a 20 yo is a kid) with a father who was king of hell and a boyfriend who was an archangel. i didnt even have the castiel stuff developed yet... now, the lore and relationships get a bit complex because ive played around with so many ideas. she's now essentially castiel's twin/sibling but in the complex unlike humanity way that angels would experience siblinghood? it chose to fall, leaving cas behind, but he always watched over her during her time as a human. most of it at least. after his 2nd fall, becoming a demon, and "meeting" castiel (again), they don't recognize each other. it takes a bit and some weird supernatural plotline about souls and angel grace for that. + now i have a bunch of au's where i ship myself with different characters, 4 fun. (fun fact, i kept accidentally imagining crowley calling me his daughter, and it kind of aided in me realizing i was genderfluid/bigender & not just a trans guy. the s/i's gender identity changed to match as well (: )

❤️ - any favourite reoccurring scenario?

a bit embarassing but the #1 reoccurring scenario is just several different ways of me being comforted by my familial f/o's. mostly crowley, sometimes cas or the winchesters, if i were braver id think about rowena. my evil grandma. a scene that plays pretty often in my mind is very self indulgent "being grounded by castiel/cas supporting me through Mental Horrors"

i also like thinking about lucifer being obsessed with me a Loottt like lol you want me soo bad. but also like. the mutually toxic cishet (despite not being cis or het) couple trope where im psychologically war-faring him. its ok and ethical hes literally satan and a deadbeat dad. but i love him ^_^ ... but embarassingly pt 2 a very reoccuring daydream involving him is just him being genuinely sweet & loving .. satan is capable of love too guys

i keep going back to daydream about my self insert's time spent as a human girl, running away from home, selling her soul to crowley, (and most importantly of all) how that relationship develops with time, and the awkward beginnings of a young girl imprinting on the king of the crossroads who did NOT sign up to be summoned by a teenage girl just because shes lonely.

LATE SEASONS BUNKER SHENANIGANS!!! i play around a LOT with imagining im annoying the winchesters or that theyre annoying me in like. almost a slice of life way in the bunker. i mess around with a lot of random magic ideas too , ive got a bunch of random "episodes" written out in my mind cuz i wanted to think and giggle about unfortunate magical spells. brb turning dean into a hamster

💭 - are you more of a "has everything written down" self shipper or a "what happens in my daydreams STAYS in my daydreams" self shipper?

im the "wants to write a full length novel about my s/i one day but i have adhd" self shipper. ive written nothing but i want to beam my thoughts into everyone elses minds. you will watch supernatural rewritten with me in it boy

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Round 2

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why Erika Shinohara is insufferable:

Doormat of a character

Impulsive liar, would rather take candid picture of a boy she didn't know than to admit friends that she's single, Naive to the point of being stupid, worst masochist rep since the 50 Shades of Grey protag

[wormsslime]

supernatural violence 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, 25 (if that's too many i can narrow it down ajdlfkj)

this aint just natural violence this is supernatural violence

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about low hanging fruit but many people read dean as, like, straightforwardly straight and a man. like you believe him?? him??

9. worst part of canon hoo boy i havent watched all the seasons and there is some bonkers stuff in there. im gonna have to go with the eye-bleedingly direct-and-yet-somehow-unaware anti-native racism that is the focus of a whole episode every so often. wendigo is the second ep of the show and it just Keeps Happening.

10. worst part of fanon john. dean defending john and fans taking it at face value. john winchester. sam and dean's father, john. dad winchester. this is not a situation where the show is subtle or im reading into things!! its really upfront about this!!

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them unfortunately, also john, i think. like i hate him dont get me wrong but i think a lot of people dont appreciate what he brings to the narrative, as a character, because they attribute so much of it just to The Life instead.

13. worst blorboficiation either sam or cas imo. i considered crowley but i dont think it counts when the show is doing the blorbofication lol

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time i dont see very much spn fanart

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) womanizer!dean

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... sams eating disorder

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring most of the metaplot after... idk the first few seasons? even the lucifer one didnt really grab me except in how it affected sam.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores isnt this just the same question as 18?

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse either john or people who think that dean only has one hand

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing none! i only talk about fandom stuff im invested in with people i like and i when i like someone i like hearing them complain about a show just as much as i like hearing them agree with me. that said ive seen people complain about john being read as an abuser, like, two times? and i was sick of it the first time. so i guess theres that lol.

choose violence!!