#theres a favourite child and it isnt any of them

[lacunazai]

kitsunezai series is in the works !!!! we are mapping out the plot . ≽^•⩊•^≼

[shoezuki]

egg do u have any scp recommendations, i want to broaden my horizons

-🍁

OUEAAAHH!!! OK YES THIS WILL TAKE A LONG TIME HOLDON i actually have a post in my drafts of some my favourite scps cuz i love them teehee holdnfbdidrmrb OK

scp 8980 - ergophobia: without regards: this one is pretty new, i only read it a week ago. its long and deals with harsh topics of sexual abuse and so mind the content warnings. its about an scp researcher whp seemingly develops a sudden anomalous effect of technology around her going haywire in ways that specifically embarass or frustrate her.

scp 5031 - yet another murder monster: one of my absolute favourites. it takes the trope of a dangerous allpowerful unkillable monster and flips it on its head. basically theres a keter monster that has been locked up and forgotten for so long that when its head researcher is replaced by a new guy he knows nearly nothing about the monster. so he starts conducting 'experiments' by plahing music, giving it food, teaching it how to read, etc.

scp 4290 - the child: similar to 5031 in that it flips the murderous world ending monster trope on its head but in a completely different way. Basically a cosmic entity called 'the child' is going to wake up and no one knows what it will do as its been forgotten to time

page what is for dado yes: this isnt one scp but a person of interest who has made a bunch of anomalous things hes like the love child of a conman and a genie. i think the most famous one attributed to dado is scp 3521 which is a pill that kills u with potassium

scp 2107 - diet ghost: its pop that fucking haunts you. now in diet

ill rb w more later when i remember more scps because i love them so much

[strwberri-milk]

Hi hi hello! Can i request mordern high school love with thoma? Reader being a gentle and reserved person being more popular among the juniors and thoma popular for his charm and being on the basketball team. Theyre relationship isnt too open but its not a secret either. They try to keep it low key of course

Now imagine the small moments with him :( after school studying at the library, walking home together, recess on the rooftop, arcade dates on the weekend and him winning you a plushie that we know sleep with evry night :(( him asking you to prom and being a gentleman :(( him coming over after school to study but end up staying over cause of the thunderstorm outside :(( our parents love him hes so sweet

(Pls help im so delulu for him)

ngl i love. modern high school aus theres smth about the simplicity of high school and being in the in between where you're *almost* an adult but still treated like a child and knowing youre about to ?? crest smth that everyone talks about anyway idk i really romanticised my high school life and ngl all my friends are from higschool LMAOO also the whole freshman/junior/sophmore/senior thing makes no sense to me idek if i put this in the right order and i wish prom was more of a thing here bc yall make it seem so fun

Thoma is definitely that kid that people know of, but don't really know all too well. He's really nice and all the teachers and students like him, and of course being both attractive and athletic made him that much easier to admire.

You had a crush on him for what feels like forever, wishing that one day he'd notice you out of all the other people who liked him too. He had so many admirers due to how kind he was, but being his friend you knew that there was so much to him.

When he finally asked you out it was the most cliche, yet sweetest way he could have ever done it. He drove you to a place that the two of you often frequented. When you got out, you turned around to see a picnic he prepared for the two of you, thinking it was just another nice thing he was doing for you because you were a little stressed out recently but the flowers and shy look on his face told you otherwise.

The two of you didn't go out of your way to tell everyone you were dating. Thoma just wasn't as willing to let people touch him as much, and you were seen hanging around the basketball team a little more often than before. Thoma always walked you to class anyway if he could, so people couldn't really tell the difference until one day they saw him give you a hug.

By that point everyone found out pretty quick but the two of you didn't feel the need to justify anything to anybody so you'd just confirm that you were dating and that was it.

Thoma always loves taking you on various dates whenever you can. He would see what kinds of places pop up on his feed and scout them out before taking you out for a night on the town (until curfew of course).

Your parents were really trying to look for something to be wrong with him, not wanting him to distract you from your life or end up in an unsatisfactory position of your heart being broken or anything like that. However, the fact that he constantly brought you home on time and made sure to say greet your parents every time as well as bring them treats he baked himself made it hard for him to stay hated in their eyes.

He's constantly gifting you things that remind him of you. If he's at the grocery store then he's giving you a candy that you liked. If he's at the mall he found some accessory he thought you'd look good with. It doesn't matter when or where - you're always on his mind and the trinkets you've accumulated from him are proof of that.

Whenever there are any events locally he loves to take you to them. Whether it be some sort of festival or just a pop up his favourite thing to do is explore the grounds with you and spoil you with prizes or the food there. He's got no limits when it comes to you.

Exam season means crunch time. The two of you are forcibly holed up by each other to try and get studying done. He's a hard worker so he's got tons of study tips for you if you need it and the right amount of rewards too. Whenever you get a practise question right or finish a writing prompt within the time limit well he always congratulates you with a hug or a kiss.

I can see him being super into doubling too. The two of you are one of those people who are constantly on call just doing random shit together. Neither of you has to actually talk to the other person - you both just like being in each other's presence.

Your room and bed are both filled with tons of things that Thoma gives you and he can't help but grin to himself whenever he comes over and sees it. He's got photos commemorating everything on his phone, glad that you like the things he gives you as much as he likes you.

Thoma absolutely adores you and I can see the two of you being high school sweethearts. He comes to your events and you to his, and the two of you end up living a perfectly happy life together, glad that one day oh so many years ago the two of you were assigned lockers next to each other.

[castlebyersafterdark]

It’s so intriguing how Joseph Quinn entered ST for one season and already has a burgeoning career way stronger than any of the actors who’ve been here for a decade (he’s in a quiet place, the fantastic four, gladiator II, a major alex garland A24 war film, a major elevated horror film, and more to come). It’s like damn, where’s this energy for any of the other cast members? agents, please step up 😤

especially noah’s agent. noah should’ve landed roles post ST2 just like finn did early on

Oh gosh I forgot about that man but yeah, he seems to be popping OFF with big roles. Marvel lead???? Wild. I never could have predicted that one but good for him. I know that Stranger Things has really long filming demands but others have managed to do big roles as well. Not gonna pretend I know that much about the intricacies of all their filming decisions, but it's certainly interesting. I really don't know why Noah wasn't in more (better) stuff in conjunction with ST but maybe it's what his family decided?

now this is all interesting because i agree with vinny about noah's post-ST career. ST is something of a bubble; did you see that parody where it was called 'the worlds favourite TV show every three years' ? basically, most people - the industry peeps who make things happen and the viewing public - forget about the show until a new season comes out. its a cultural phenomenon rather than a stalwart, and i think it's going to continue to generate a loyal fanbase for decades to come, much like nerd classics like star trek. i can totally see this cast coming back again and again for reunion cons but not necessarily having varied, successful careers.

i think they are great actors in ST, but something about the ensemble cast and the magic of the show is what works for me. everything i've seen anyone do outside of ST has been disappointing tbh. i thought finn had quiet beauty in Saving the World, but if I saw that and didnt know who he was, I probably wouldnt think he was a giant star or follow his career. The youngest actors especially, in s1 and s2 they threw so much of themselves into the roles that I believe these characters now belong to them, are part of them. (Imagine: it's 2050, and Stranger Things is being rebooted. I can see Finn and Noah coming back for cameo roles, Mr Clarke or something, and old fans going wild.)

But I don't feel that way with B characters like Eddie/Joe Quinn. You have to consider that he was hella charismatic and is considered a good actor, period, not just within the show: he's a seasoned british theatre actor with roots in the biz. he's sort of like what jonathan bailey is to bridgerton, getting all the roles despite his castmates being super talented too. it speaks volumes about the kind of characters that the general public want to see + that the industry is willing to write. we've seen the steddie fandom here: joe has one hell of a demographic lapping up his stuff, and he's riding a fame wave of hot white twenty-something male, similar to Paul Mescal... and considering how fast pop culture/hollywood moves these days, I wouldnt be surprised if he too fades away after a few years of great success (like J. Law). He could also fuck it up with one wrong comment and get cancelled within the year lol. It's just so hard to predict.

but vinny was probably right on with noah being young - child stars rarely expand beyond one franchise/film while theyre that small due to legal filming limits and school commitments etc, and because theres so few child roles in hollywood. so comparing a young noah's talent and career with joe quinn's, who was an adult when he joined ST, doesnt really make sense.

+ this isnt really on topic but i personally would prefer them to fade and be happy and healthy than grind away and become jaded by the industry or have many flops. i already think finn worked too hard as a teen and has basically developmentally lived his twenties before his teen years, and is now sort of going back to that teen mindset and experimenting with music and chilling and doing things a teen should. when he said he had abandoned his career goals to focus on personal ones like 'being comfortable in my own skin', i rejoiced and also cursed the whole fame thing for just being so fucked up. his goal is to be 'a happy and healthy older person' - i mean, that made me cry dude. the implications and subtext of that statement! and people are out here thinking they should all be happy and fine cos theyre rich and have fancy cars and all these fans. like, tell me you don't know anything about what it means to be human. 🙄

Excellent points and discussions, all very real. Agreed. Thank you !! ❤️❤️

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

tagged by @ragnarokhound <3

name: kai (yes im a trans man named kai, its a good name, okay?)

pronouns: he/they

where do you call home: eh the general answer is west of england, midlands and up. theres a sentimental answer but its a pretty small area so im not gonna potentially dox myself in a tag game dhdjsjs

favourite animal: walrus all the way, baby! although my url is actually unrelated to my love of walruses. theyre just the best animals, theyre big old chunky boys with two big front teeth that can grow to over 3ft in length. when on land, they huddle together in cuddle piles. AND mama walruses can use their flippers to pick up their babies and cuddle them to their chest; tell me thats not the cutest thing youve heard today.

cereal of choice: im not really a cereal person or like a breakfast person at all, but if im having it, golden nuggets or nothin'

visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner: ...all of them? idk, it depends on what im learning. auditory probably less so than the others just because my auditory processing isnt just trash, its trash the binmen wont take.

first pet: my parents had four cats before they had me and my brother so i guess them? they were thomas, alfred, cally and misty. my uncle, who incidentally doesnt believe in seatbelts, named alfred.

favourite scent:

no but seriously i have a very strong scent of smell which is part of why im such a picky eater like im yet to meet a food that smelt bad and tasted good, but i just,,,, dont have a favourite scent?

my brother gave me a lynx body spray of his he didnt want pretty soon after i came out the third time, as trans this time, and its definitely a he got the spirit moment so i guess that.

do you believe in astrology: nah, its not my thing really. all the more to you if its yours as long as you dont try to ascribe my behaviour to me being a taurus, thats the mental illness or the autism or the adhd or the neurological disorder thats pushing my eyes out of my skull very slowly.

how many playlists on spotify/apple music: 28 which is more than i thought i had. right now, theres only like 3 im cycling through named dead reckoning, the old swan, and dutch angle / danish pastry.

sharpies or highlighters: yeah so like, we could never afford sharpies in my house so its highlighters my default. sharpies are like mega expensive in the uk and by mega expensive, i mean unaffordable for a child of a working class single parent.

songs that make you cry: hmm. thats kinda difficult because whether i cry depends almost entirely on my mood. if i had to name some, i guess id go with:

a little fall of rain, turning and empty chairs at empty tables from the london cast recording of les mis (its vital to specify this, okay?); george blagdens secret? recording of drink with me; breathe from in the heights; flowers, doubt comes in, promises, gone im gone, and we raise our cups from hadestown (are you sensing a theme yet?); unruly heart from the prom; here i go again specifically from the rock of ages musical (and NOT the tom cruise movie, i saw this musical live and i cried); i know where ive been by queen latifah, and also from pretty much any hairspray cast recording; if i met myself again, ugly in this ugly world and hes my boy from everybodys talking about jaime and i have sobbed at all three of these songs.

and finally: grandmas song, deep into the ground, he could be a star and once we were kids from billy elliot, and yes i cry at most of act 2, i was raised working class in a working class area that was once revered for its industry and has since been forgotten and left to drown in poverty, how am i meant to not cry at it?

songs that make you happy: hmm again. throw the entirety of the first mamma mia soundtrack onto the list. then welcome to paradise & coming clean by green day (when i was a very depressed teenager, listening to green day always made me feel better, both about the world and about myself); the irony of choking of a lifesaver by all time low because its moms favourite song of theirs and weve gone to see them live five times together; merry christmas maggie thatcher from billy elliot because fuck that bitch; legend of coco chanel from everybodys talking about jaime; sexy from the mean girls musical; do it for your lover by manel navarro; strangers & i dont want to talk about me by stereo jane (the strangers music video is so fucking bisexual yall); king of my heart by sub-radio; ghost ship of cannibal rats by billy talent; carpe diem by joker out; who the hell is edgar by teya and salena; let me entertain you by robbie williams because i sang it in karaoke as a 7 year old who did not know the words and then proceeded to get obsessed with robbie fucking williams for a while; slipping away by materia; and 68 guns by the alarm which is a funny little one because it reminds me of my dad but i still enjoy the song and ive made a conscious choice not to limit my music taste just because some asshole whos not even a good hobby ghost hunter likes it too, you know?

do you write/draw/create: all three! granted i havent done much of the first two in a while, but on my defense, losing 7-8 months worth of your memories kind of fucks you up and its oddly time consuming. also developing fainting attacks and spending a week in hospital while they fail to figure out whats wrong with you other than weirdly low blood pressure does not help. but i do have a drawing planned out to do and while i went a little too much detail on one small detail (i will justify it as soon as i actually finish it), im going to finish it. i also do origami pretty often as well as baking, and i am currently building a wooden replica of the titanic AND LISTEN, i started before the titan submersible stuff happened and i havent touched it yet because it just feels weird to, you know? also, i didnt even want to do the titanic, but like, good luck finding any starter kits that arent a) titanic and b) upwards of a £100. i would love to do a ss malolo or a mts stockholm but that aint happening and while i might be able to find an ss normandy or ss united states, im not gonna be able to afford. its titanic or bust which sucks.

tagging but no pressure: @bottlesandbarricades @vaellusvitutus @rad-roach

[mikoriin]

OKAY. I just made omelettes so I have omelettes and egg) questions:

1. Is anyone allergic to egg

2. Does a certain amount of egg make anyone feel sick

3. Does anyone like omelettes, if yes what do they like on them (ham, cheese, tomato, worchestichire(???)sauce...)

4. Favourite egg dish

5. Who can cook omelettes

If you've never had omelettes, I sincerely apologise for this ask I simply am thinking about omlettes

LOL this is so fun tho!!!

1. Is anyone allergic to egg

hmmm...i never thought about it but if anyone would be allergic to eggs it'd be everett LOL

2. Does a certain amount of egg make anyone feel sick

everett

3. Does anyone like omelettes, if yes what do they like on them (ham, cheese, tomato, worchestichire(???)sauce...)

u KNOW elise would fuck up a good, double stuffed omelet! daren too. i feel like heather would like more asian style omelets but elise and daren would have the southern country style ones. heather likes her omelets with hot sauce!

4. Favourite egg dish

i adore u but im going to skip this question simply because theres SO many dishes in the world involving eggs and theres a lot of cultures mixed in with my story so i just cannot wrap my brain around doing that research rn LOLOL but i may answer this in the future in a roundabout way! :D

5. Who can cook omelettes

heather, daren, elise, csilla, and oddly enough, agitha.

agitha isnt super big chef or anything but she does know how to cook. i feel like she'd take home ec in high school cause she knows she isnt going to learn to cook any other way, her parents are divorced and her father is distant who happens to be her guardian. her mom is one of those moms that sees her daughter as her friend rather than her child. so she kinda fends for herself. (woop agitha backstory!)

[secret-side-hetalia-blog]

Realizing that i have like. No opinions on hetalia for the most part. Like fucking at all.

(Long ass ramble that loses the plot by the end)

I mean like, i have some, mostly that the dub is funny but also bad, and i. Really dont like belarus' voice in the dub. Also just like, milktoast ship opinions, like, i dont like us/uk bc it feels like incest, i dont like ame/can bc it is incest, if a ship feels like incest i dont like it.

And then anything else im very neutral on, like i have favourite characters n shit but. I dont have strong opinions on any ships like i dont really actually ship anything, i just go 'oh yeah the arts cool, this isnt too weird yeah sure' like thats it. Rus/ame is cool, pru/can is cool. Back when people shipped iceland and a fridge i just went yeah okay and moved on, i didnt get it, i still dont get it- what was that. Why did that happen. This is like that dangan guy and orange juice. How did we get here. Hre being germany i just kind of went with bc everyone said it was true and theyre both blonde with slicked back hair so yeah sure.

I dont even know what opinions i would have i pushed my old hetalia phase so back in my brain all I remember are the songs and that i really really liked russia and i kinned canada. I remember like 5 blogs i followed, i still follow 4 of them.

I seriously dont have any real ships, gerita is basically just cannon so that doesnt really count. I dont even really ship gerita you can ship them with other people and id reblog it like yeah sure.

I used to ship things i think? But it was only the popular ships and like. Only the ones in the show more or less like. Gerita or swefin or pruhun. I cant even remember, i. Genuinely i think i was hyperfixated on russia instead of hetalia bc thats like. All i can remember.

I really obsessed with russia its kind of weird. But i was also a child. Like i had a shitty russia cosplay that i wore to school for class picture day, my dad made me a metal pipe out of pvc pipe, i made shitty made in russia stickers, i donr even have an explanation for that. I used the ^J^ emotion, all the time, vodka and magic metal pipe of pain were basically vocal stims (but so was pasta so) i was a strange child actually theres worse i could have done. Or been obsessed with.

[that--syd]

So uh.. what's everyones opinion?

I wrote a little fic starter and need to know if its worth continuing.

Any feedback will be great!

Bucky Barnes loved steve with all his heart, steve was his everything and everyone knows he would DIE for him. When Steve decided to retire it was like music to his ears, Bucky had wanted nothing more than to keep his best friend and the love of his life safe and out of danger. Steve and Bucky lived in a gorgeous bungalow, they have kitted it out with the perfect furniture that fit both of them nicely. It was perfect, everything was perfect and bucky couldn't ask for anything else. Well.. not right now anyway - God. Theres a hole in his heart thats clearly missing and needing to be filled. But.. whats missing?

Ｓａｔｕｒｄａｙ １４ｔｈ Ｊａｎｕａｒｙ

Steve was relaxing on his favourite arm chair, he adores this spot due to it being close enough to the radiator in winter to keep him nice and warm, and its also close enough to the window that when summer hits the breeze is enough to keep him cool. This is STEVES spot and people know not to take it away from him. Steve adores being retired, he adores the time he can spend being himself and the time he can spend doing the drawings he used to love doing. The best part now? He has his best friend to share the moments with. He adores Bucky.. his Bucky. He will never get bored of waking up to his smiling face, he will never get bored of listening to his stories of his own missions. God. Life seems to be perfect.

０７：１５ａｍ

Bucky has just returned from a morning jog with Sam, Their jog has now become routine, they run from 06:15 - 07:15 every morning apart from a sunday as Steve was raised in a religious family and Bucky wishes to help keep the tradition of sunday being a day spent with family. Bucky decides now is the best time to start making a fresh pot of coffee, He feels a tug in his heart as he looks over to the television that he's using as background noise - but.. what he sees makes his heart tug more. Photos of children who are needing homes come up- god. Is that whats missing from Buckys life? A child? No. Surely not. Bucky Barnes Is an Avanger not a father. Right? Surely.

Steve was soon walking into the mainroom after managing to stay in bed until 07:30am. He walks towards Bucky only to see him watching the same advert of the children that hes noticed him staring at before. Is Bucky okay? Huh "Hey Buck? What's the matter? You seem to always stare at the advert-" he walks over and gently strokes his other halfs hair. God. He isnt feeling down is he? He would hate for him to be sad "you can talk to me pal-" he looks at Bucky and notices the sad tint in his eyes as the advert finishes and he looks towards steve "huh? Yeah- im fine Punk" yikes was that was a lie that came out of Buckys mouth?

Sure Bucky wanted a child.. sure he wanted a family. But the years spent in hydras control and in their world... its shown him how cruel this world could be and he would not want that to happen to them.. or anyway. God. He still has nightmares about the whole thing. No. Bucky couldn't be a father. Can.. he even look after steve properly? Oh god. No! No he can't. Steve doesn't need Bucky here.. oh.. here comes the moment he realises that maybe steve is better without Bucky. Steve was about to stand and head towards the coffee machine when a loud bang and the shaking of the ground made him eye Bucky and notice that Bucky had heard and felt it too. Oh no. Okay. Now is not the time to be getting sad Bucky. Now its time to go and investigate what that noise was.

[baxndaid]

#POSSESSIVE

characters; VENTI, SCARAMOUCHE, CHONGYUN, ITTO, THOMA

prompt; scale from 1-10, how possessive are they?

notes/warnings; toxic relationship, scaramouche >:( crack and yea

ik its a strange selection of characters, but they are my favourites and i love them okay stfu

i . scaramouche ( 10 /✦/ 10 — ) .

did you really expect anything less⁉⁉ this mf is ALWAYS eyeing you whenever you talk to somebody. like, anybody. whether its childe, or la signora, or even a random recruit, he makes sure to curse them in his head, and if their a lower rank, he threatens them when your not looking. he always has to hold something of yours, whether its your hand, your sleeves, your waist, your wrist (his personal favourite) he just gotta do it, he loves feeling in control, guiding and telling you where to go and when to go. also, he is the definition of "you are the most jealous man i know." "you know other men?"

♡

ii . chongyun ( 10 /✦/ 6 — ) .

chongyun definitely gets somewhat possessive, but he wont do much about it. much like scaramouche, he would curse the hell out of anybody who seemed interested in you in his head, giving them icy cold glares as he walked away with you. he cant exactly handle physical touch as he gets warm quite easily, and when he does get hot/gets a fever, it gets worse. hes suddenly loud and chaotic, exclaiming and shouting to everybody around him that your his, and theres nothing you can do about it.

♡

iii . thoma ( 10 /✦/ 4 — ) .

baby boy thoma is too innocent and precious to even think of being possessive over you, he understands your boundaries and wants to respect them, but sometimes he cant help but get jealous whenever you spend time with his master, ayato. he doesnt resent ayato, of course not! but sometimes, he does deliberately put something that sir ayato is allergic to inside his food, just so he gets the warning. isnt he thoughtful!

♡

iv . itto ( 10 /✦/ 2 — ) .

itto is too carefree and unbothered to be possessive at all, hes a bro at heart! he treats you fairly as long as you do the same, and will never cross your boundaries. well, most of the time. hes protective and always stands up for you, and he always makes sure that the streets of inazuma are safe for you to cross, just for you and his gang!

♡

v . venti ( 10 /✦/ 9 — ) .

isnt it ironic that the god of freedom doesnt give you any free will? its almost laughable. whenever you talk to another man, you can feel the wind pick up pace, slowly turning into a storm, channelling barbatos' anger. no, for you, mondstat is not a kingdom of freedom, it is another cage. his piecing eyes will always be there, even when you sleep you can feel his stare lingering on your body. the worst part is, he acts like everything is normal and carefree whenever you see each other in person. hes just a regular bard, after all.

NAVIGATION ♡

[cherrytea556]

Catra didnt only want adora - The problem with the original save the cat script

Tw: Abuse and mention of murder

In the original script of 'save the cat', there was a line from horde prime that really bothers me:

Its the part where horde prime says to adora: 'all she ever wanted was you' and fans definitely uses that as catradora content when its just not true in the slightest and it removes the nuance she has just to hype an already toxic ship. First, lets discuss the very second episode of shera in season 1.

We see in this scene, adora offers catra to come with her yet catra rejects. If adora was all she ever wanted, why didnt she come with her on the spot? That wouldnt make sense if catra only wanted adora right? Well, heres where it starts to get interesting:

This is a callback from a previous scene, the scene where shadow weaver uses her electric magic onto catra then threatens to bring adora back. Sure, you can argue that she does only want adora but shadow weaver is holding her back, an obstacle to overcome for her actual wants but if thats the case, why does she actively seeking that obstacles affection if all she ever wanted was adora?

Especially her blaming adora for shadow weaver betraying her, let alone almost destroying the whole planet because of her blaming adora for shadow weaver's favouritism. Why would she if adora was all she ever wanted? Its simple. Given how shadow weaver favors adora more than catra during childhood, shes going to be seeking out shadow weavers affection in hopes she can finally gain the love she was looking for from her abuser. It also explains why she had an attachment to adora.

Adora was catras safety blanket as they made a promise to look out for each other and since shadow weaver told catra that she only stuck around because adora liked her, catra will depend on adora in order to be safe which is also why she hit lonnie when her and adora was being friendly, she was scared that she will get abandoned by adora if she has new friends which means that shadow weaver would dispose her (and with the word disposing, it may imply murder so catras life couldve ended or at least cause her more truama by her having 9 lives) It makes sense why she had attachment to adora, it makes sense why she seeks shadow weavers love, it doesnt make any sense if all she wanted was adora because the show proves otherwise through the exploration of catras character, why she does the things she does. Also theres this moment:

This is where we see catra be truly happy or at least the most prominently happy and it doesnt even involve adora, it was her taking over the crimson waste where shes given respect for her abilities and personality. This also makes sense by shadow weavers abuse/favouritism, catra being the scapegoat who relied on adora for protection to not only be her own leader to people but also be respected when your life was filled with not being respected. But when the show points out that shes truly happy when adora isnt even there despite them originally wanting us to believe she only wanted adora is non sense. Basically, saying catra only wanted adora makes no sense and removes nuance of her character, reducing her to a love interest. Now I know this line wasnt put in the actual show which is good but theres still fans who use it to hype up catradora in which another reason why the line doesnt work is this:

If she wanted adora all along then the ways she done it makes it more disturbing then it already is by those actions alone. I dont even need to explain why because this pic already says enough. Although i will say, she thought adora left her, not the horde (which the horde was the actual reason why adora left) and when she left, she was now unprotected from shadow weaver, feeling betrayed in which caused her to do all of this to adora, along with blaming her for shadow weavers betrayal, the woman she was prominetly searching for love that the woman gives to the golden child/adora. It was from misunderstanding and vegeance, not from love.

Last thing is how its honestly really funny how when the line of catra only wanting adora that removes nuance and misunderstood her character was used by fans for catradora content in which barely anyone on that content called it out yet when people call catra out for her actions, theres many fans in their comment sections who act like they misunderstood her character/remove her nuance just from mentioning the harm catra's done, even saying that they dont know complex characters? So reducing catra as a love interest is fine but god forbid someone mentions catras harmful actions that impact people because they just dont know complex characters? (when the line literally shows how even the show originally didnt know about catra as a complex character) The fact that catra was clearly shown to be the writers favourite but even they didnt understand her originally really shows how season 5 was too focused on catradora happening and even that was shit in the end for how poor catras redemption was if there is any by that confession in the series finale. Just the fact that this line even existed baffles me.

[batsforbadones]

Dear Batsforbadones,

I wanted to thank you for your writing of Billy Lenz.

As cute as OOC fluff can be, I just love it when there's writers who stick to the more canonical version of characters, and aren't afraid to write them as the deranged assholes they are. You made Billy rather sarcastic, condescending, and rather calculative while still maintaining is mental instability and rather animalistic insanity. The way you even write his dialogue is so great, as it oozes this capturing, but psychotic asshole vibe of "You're a dumb slut, but I'm gonna fuck and kill you now". With that, you're not afraid to unleash the more unpopular, and controversial side of Billy character, and that's the fact that he's pretty much a sexual predator, and absolutely wouldn't mind crossing lines to get "what he wants". People tend to baby Billy as some "ADHD" poster child of Gen Z "quirkiness", but you don't seem to infantilize him at all. You give him a personality outside of the "lol random xD" trope that many people seem to like projecting onto such characters. Like a gust of cold wind, your writing is rather refreshing.

Once again, I gotta thank you for writing Billy in a way that makes me smile whenever I see a new fic with him being released. I wish you well!

This comment means so much to me. you've given me a very in depth analysis, and I feel the urge to give you an explanation- a thought process as to why I'm so- mean when I write my slashers. because i do try to be. I also enjoy the fluff and the 'awwww, cute they'd hold my hand in a barn after killing someone' thing, but I am intentionally mean when I write, at least i try to be.

so, if you're willing to, hold out with me. It may not be worth much, but I'm- so glad my writing does what I intended it to. TW - DISCUSSIONS OF SA

fun fact about me- I got my fanfictional start in the creepypasta fandom on wattpad c.2012. If any of you got pipelined into being a horror movie watcher, you know how I got here, but basically, OOC content is- insanely popular in the creepypasta fandom because of how little substance there is to a lot of the root characters. Most of the source material has this very- passionate, but over all lacking development vibe so you'll get these really mediocre concepts handled very poorly. so you end up with things like jeff the killer, whose very clearly written by some 14 year old boy who listened to marilyn manson's cover of sweet dreams are made of these and it changed him for life (me too), or you get some bastardized form of someones passion found footage project- this isnt to say I wasn't also in that boat, but it was to say that I was kind of thrust into this very romanticized, and understandably less morbid view of these characters very early on. I responded to fear with sexuality, and that is an incredibly unfortunate boat to find yourself in so early on in your internet life, but fuck it we ball-

so basically, theres a character who is incredibly similar to Billy Lenz in the creepypasta fandom, and if you were there, you know exactly what I'm about to do because i've been sitting on this for almost two years now-

The way Billy Lenz is often written, is the way Ticci Toby was written. And Ticci Toby was my favourite creepypasta (i am using creepypasta as a fandom term, and not an actual iteration of the website. i mean the pantheon, because this differentiation is important to some people ((theres a lot of creative elitism in the creepypasta community)))

Ticci Toby is a slenderman proxy oc described as neurotic, bipolar, delusional, unstable, and with an unmaskable type of tourettes to where he garners the name he would later use as his moniker (all as written by a deviantart user c.2010, so take a lot of the sensitivity with a grain of salt)-

and my god, did the creepypasta fandom infantilize him. i did too. he was, for all intent and purposes, my baby girl. and I was like- idk fucking 10 and being into true crime and not flinching was cool so I was dick riding this man and eyeless jack like it was my job. and a couple of notable things about how they would treat him would be a bizarre obsession with waffles, Hollywood tourettes, if you were really ballsy, you'd make him hypersexual, and constantly trying to anime grope the reader, and he was just- all around considered to be the comedic relief character when paired with our other collection of 'the killers'. get its, its funny because its 2012 and we all think a severe social disorder is the peak of comedy.

and he wasnt well written, i would argue this is an actual infliction of what he was written to be (creepypasta oc rights drama aside), but later down the line when I got older i had this faint realization where its just like- no. he wouldnt-- do that. And not that it matters, you can literally do whatever you want with these characters, death to the author shit, but I was put off by it, almost? like, i look back on my old preconceptions of these characters and im like, morbidly inspired by my own childhood innocence when interacting with him. like- oh wow. i really wouldve just walked into the woods with a man with a hatchet if he was hot enough. oh wow.

once again, i too love to read ooc fluff and smut and stuff where these men aren't sexual predators and arent abusers, and i care for funny giggle billy, dont get me wrong, but I'm not- aroused by him much. i feel like, an emotional fondness, but im not- attracted to him.

and this isnt to say i dont think everyone isnt aware of how we are writing about fucking fictional murderers. we all watched the movies, we all got horny when he came out. we're all aware- and i know for some people it comes from a place of personal comfort that the boogey man treats them with care. its not my place to ruin someones comfort character. it never will be.

but, i genuinely struggle to make myself dissociate enough from these characters to believe they would care about consent. Most if not all slashers are founded on the grounds of the male, predatory gaze. the woman is the victim. the man is the victimizer. they're often literally metaphored with actual prey/predator situations. anyone killing women in mass is doing it because they hate women, and likely wouldnt have a problem raping said women. this is a fact i cannot remove myself from, both meta and not.

and i find a weird comfort in knowing they will always be- just that.

i feel that way about billy lenz a l o t. he, verbatim, threatens to rape the entire sorority house and then kill them. Its only by 70's movie censorship that I'm sure we didn't have a violent and grotesque assault scene from him. Billy Lenz is, at his core, a sexual predator. The little canonical input we get from him is- of him being a sexual predator. I'm not going into his phone calls, but basically- him being a rapist is, so incredibly core because we get... what? 7 minutes of dialogue with him? and not a SINGLE full body shot of him moving? We get a blood shot eye and?? what?? like i cant just remove him from the rape. theres nothing left of him. i'd be ticci tobying him again. and its not that i dont feel right doing that. not everyone should be like, forced to think about rape all the time- like, if you want a funny, sexy, evil guy, do it. I'd read it and giggle and kick my feet. if billy is your favourite character because you read him as autistic and gender, do it. but my billy- exists on those grounds. And so does my Jed. and my Stu. and my brahms- and so on so fourth.

sorry for the rant i'm just- so so passionate about like, this topic. and this is so fucking sweet to me. it means the world, really. thank you so much. im always in a billy lenz mood and plan to do some stuff for him soon. Thank you thank you thank you <3

[benryphobic]

tell me ur thoughts on... Darnry

DARNEY MY BELARNREY......HELL YES

💐 Who tends to worry the most?

Darnold. He has anxiety! He's very uncomfortable with sudden change, too, so anything extreme happening out of his schedule makes him freak out

💋 Who is the most physically affectionate?

Benry. he gives his *friends* kisses, man. he would give Darnold so much physical affection it would be annoying (sometimes)

⛈ Do they enjoy dancing?

They do! Darnold dances like an old man, just kinda swaying side to side, while benry dances like a teenage girl. they have really different tastes in music, but can come together with dancing to r&b!

🌹⛈Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

Darnold has the most nightmares. Mostly about being terrified and trapped. Benry helps him by just kinda playing games with him, cos neither of them are too good at talking about feelings

🌺 Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?

They do initially, bc Benry just. never slept. he doesn't need to. But then Benry started to appreciate the fine art of being able to cuddle and doze with a comfy body in his arms

⚡ What are their nicknames for each other?

I can't really think of anything but benry probably calls him like. D. Arnold. as a bit. otherwise i can't see them using any nicknames

🍃 What do they do when the other is stressed?

play video games....if that doesn't work, then they just talk about nothing. if it gets really bad, benry uses sweet voice for him, but thats not super often. darnold helps benry by just being his friend (homosexual)

🌻 How do they spend time if the other is gone?

Darnold does his science shit, goes back to school to become a professor, plays video games etc etc. benry plays video games, listens to music, probably makes his own music, talks to his friends, etc

🎮 Do they have a favourite video game they enjoy playing together?

team fortress 2.....they both go medic and do this

💍 Would they ever get married?

probably! no big wedding or anything, but they would get a little dressed up

✨ Who proposes?

benry! he does it very casually but very heartfelt

👑 Who is the meme lover?

darnold laughs at minion memes and cat memes. benry does not go on the internet.

📚 Who likes to read?

Darnold! he's fascinated with his field of study, but also in a lot of different things. he reads a lot to calm down and as a hobby

🎩 Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

haha benry. if benry needs attention (which is often) he'll bother darnold like an immature child.

🌼 How do their personalities complement each other?

i think both are very matter of fact while saying the craziest shit. the difference is you can kinda tell when benry is joking (unless youre gordon) , while you cannot tell at All when Darnold is. Plus i kinda see them both as quiet people, maybe ambiverts at most, so they just kinda chill most of the time. theyre absurd in different ways, and its great :)

🔥 Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

neither? i think benry would shoot someone just for picking their nose

💀 What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

oooohghuhghhhhh the cheesiest costumes ever. the first year theyre dating they go as a medic and solider duo, but years after theyd do like. cishet costumes bc they both think its funny (harley quinn and joker, Frankenstein and the bride of frakenstein, jack and sally, etc) they still really like dressing up as video game characters tho, so they do that too to mix it up

🌈 What are their favourite colours?

darnold likes green! benry........does not have a favorite

🌹 Who is the hopeless romantic?

Neither! Darnold is a man of science, a man of work. he was very happy being single, benry just kinda added a new dynamic in his life that he very much enjoyed. benry is just....not a romantic. if he has a crush on someone he's like "well.....lol" and usually pursues like a 5 year old

🎭 Who is the dramatic one?

benry. he sounds like he's eternally pouting

🎈 Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

benry, duh. hes kind of a dick. darnold cannot take him to funerals

💝 What do they love about each other the most?

the sick gamer strats. idk this is a weird question cos when u love someone, i feel like u love....all of them? or at least a lot of them. theres not really a favorite trait. they just go "yo this is nice as fuck" when u spend time with each other and like. cuddle.

👓 Who googles everything?

darnold uses Google as a research engine for his work and hobbies

🌙 How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

they r there for each other. if its truly helpless, i think that's enough.

🍂 What is an inside joke they have?

pyro airpoof.....whether or not Darnolds potions are g fuel bc Powerade is kinda close to Gatorade

💟 What do you think makes them perfect for one another?

i dont think theyre perfect for one another! benrys an annoying jackass, Darnold is a nice man. but i think if benry got a huge loser crush, hed feel the need not to pull on darnolds metaphorical pigtails. its respect

🌷 Are you nervous to talk about your OTP? Why?

kinda nervous! but only bc i have trouble thinking about their dynamic. my favorite genre of romance is just.....dudes that hang out and kiss. i also don't want it to sound like knock off frenrey. Darnold is the only one who seemed a little annoyed by benry too, in a very different, polite way, but i find it difficult to differentiate the dynamic. Darnold is a little bit of a straight man to the straight man. not to say he isnt absurd. but id find it reallt funny for benry to do some crazy shit and Darnold to go "uhm. ok."

Is your OTP Oc x Canon?

hmm difficult question. hlvrai characterization in general is making an oc and hoping it adheres to Canon. just by shipping darnold and benry im basically making some sort of oc x oc for myself, since their characterizations don't imply theyd ever end up in a romantic relationship

🎵 What's a song (or songs) that remind you of your OTP?

i need more songs for my darnrey playlist 😩😩😩😩

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[annoyingloudmicrowavecultist]

shin tsukimi for the ask game?

definition of pathetic little meow meow ok let’s go

do i like them:

if you read my midori response or have had a single conversation with me about yttd you already know the answer to this. again, *gestures to my icon*

5 good qualities:

- actually knows coding... i know some basic python and thats it i really want to learn javascript but i do not have the willpower nor the time

- has blue hair and pronouns

- unintentionally funny and therefore easy to bully. “i read.... things.... at home....” shin just say you read fanfic its ok... i mean. me too. but it doesnt make it any less funny

- sigh. somewhat related to the above point he’s like universally relatable i dont think ive seen a SINGLE yttd fan who isnt also a shinnie. its just impossible

- why am i struggling he’s like. one of my yttd faves... i dont want to be boring and go with well written moral complexity but i might have to </3 its why he’s so compelling so whatever

3 bad qualities:

- somehow both an older sibling and an only child and i dont like those vibes

- doesnt support women in STEM (said kanna wasnt hacking when she figured out the password to kai’s laptop.. smh)

- theres a whole debate over his hair colour (its teal but calling it blue is fine. calling it green isnt i will gladly die on this hill) and his eyes are another can of worms. neither are consistent colours

favourite episode/etc:

the highfive. its such a shin moment but not in a shin way and i dont know how else to explain it

otp:

i... dont really have one? he’s got aro energy. i do enjoy alishin sometimes though

brotp:

i could be obvious and say kanna or even sara or kugie but you know what im actually gonna say mishima. the ytts events were so sweet and i think shin deserves someone who he can rely on when needed and also like isnt midori for obvious reasons

ot3:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

notp:

uhh aside from the obvious probably keishin </3 i tried getting into it but didnt find anything with characterisation i personally liked and people interpreting a line that. is clearly about a different character trait to mean something shippy is a mini pet peeve of mine so.. the whole “keiji cant die yet i have to- (kill him myself)” thing got a little tiring. ik its all in good fun though people can do whatever they want!! i want to make it clear that it just isnt my thing personally

best quote:

when he uses the word riffraff as a genuine insult during a scene that signifies one of if not the most dramatic turning point in his character arc

headcanon:

when he was a kid he wanted to try mint choc chip ice cream but was too embarrassed to ask his parents so he tried making his own by putting chocolate chips in a pile of toothpaste and when it tasted awful and made him sick he swore he would never try it again. later he found out that mint chop chip is not made like that but by that point he had hated it for years and couldnt really eat any ice cream.. so he continued insisting it tastes like toothpaste. hence the line in 3b

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[babysizedfics]

the first time vee regressed in therapy (and meeting michael after)

NOTE: this is almost 2k words... so it continues under the cut. No TWs!

for the first few sessions of vees therapy with dr picani, patton is in the room with them because of vee's selective mutism, so patton hung around to help translate for vee during seasions until she is able to speak for herself, and thru these firsts sessions emile sees how attached the two are to each other

and after about three or four weeks, once vee can reliably talk for herself, patton stil sits in the waiting room so if vee needs him he's there

im their first session without patton, emile actually prompts vee to tell him what she calls her uncle patton. she says "patton" but emile is like do u not call him uncle? and she hesitates bc she definitely doesnt call him uncle but she hates lying

and emile smiles knowing that she doesnt. then he asks "are there any other names you call your uncle, vee?" because unbeknown to vee, emile actually heard her call patton "dad" one day in the waiting room

she is made rlly nervous by this question but emile assures her he isnt trying to trick her or anything, he just wants her to be honest. and after some more coaxing she whispers that she calls patton "dad" and emile is like thats lovely

and suddenly vee is teary and panicky because shes scared emile is being sacastic or will quiz her about it, but he insists that its very nice that she is comfy calling patton that and that they are so close and it makes vee feel a lot safer

but that prompts emile to start asking her about her biological father, janus. has she ever called him dad or was he always janus? does she know why that is?

vee really tries her best to stay calm and answer, but the questions suddenly get too much and before she knows it virgil goes non-verbal bc she realises she is starting to regress

emile notices vee's distress and changes his voice like softer and more clear. he asks what is wrong, he assures her they dont need to talk about anything vee doesnt want to talk about. Can you breathe with me? Good thank you, can you talk? No thats alright you dont have to. Is there anything he can do to make her feel safe?

and the soft caring words just push vee compeltely into half regression and she starts fully crying, tears spilling down her cheeks and shaky breaths and little squeaks and sniffles and tightly cuddling her softie she took with her (a lilac octopus, dr violet)

after a couple minutes of just crying and emile givinf her some space to let it out, the tears arent slowing down. so she cries " i w-wan pa-p-p-..." giving up after she realises her voice is definitely little now

"what do you want, vee?" emile prompts so so kindly that it just makes vee's chest ache

she whimpers "w-wan papa" and trails off in sobs

and emile instantly knows she means patton. he very easily rolls with this infantile behaviour, being a child therapist a lot of the time. he just sees her acting like a toddler and he immediately thinks okay time to turn on the toddler therapy, no questions asked

emile stands up carefully and speaks clear and gentle "okay vee. dr picani is leaving for just a moment to get your papa, okay? I'll be back very soon" and vee just squeaks through her tears, so he hurries out to the waiting room to fetch patton

pat literally jumps from his seat when emile calls him in saying vee is upset and practically runs through the corridor and into the office. he immediately pulls her into a one armed cuddle on the couch while emile just closes the door rlly gentle for privacy and hands a box of tissues to patton. so patton softly shushes his baby and wipes her tears away while emile takes quick notes in his book

patton is rlly quietly shushing her and comforting her, trying to be discreet. emile notices that this is obviously a common occurence, and also notices that patton seems to be holding back something

so when patton looks up briefly and catches emiles gaze, emile just smiles and speaks softly "do you know what age regression is, patton?"

and patton breathes a massive sigh of relief and hugs vee tighter "yeah... yeah we do"

and emile nods and smiles a little sympathetic looking back at vee and patton jumps right back to comforting her, not trying to be discreet this time, going full papa mode now that he has the confirmation that emile knows about regression

patton lifts a still crying vee into his lap and cuddles her to his chest and rocks her. "its alright, baby, shh shhh, papas got you" (vee still crying and grabbing pattons shirt tightly) "i know i know, baby, youre ok"

then emile adds in softly "youre doing very well vee" and patton smiles at him then repeats for vee "did you hear dr picani? he said youre doing sooo well! youre so so brave, hunnybunny"

and eventually when vee is comforted enough and the tears have stopped, emile raises his eyebrows questioningly at patton and pat talks to vee: "vee, are you ready to talk to dr picani again?"

she whimpers and grips patton tighter. "its okay babygirl, papas not going anywhere..." patton hesitstes and looks up at emile a little worried "uh, as long as thats alright with dr picani"

emile nods and smiles softly when vee peeks over her softie at him "of course. you can do whatever you want vee, if having your dad - or your papa here makes you feel safer then of course he can stay. would you like patton to stay so you can feel safer?"

vee doesnt respond but frowns and hides behind dr violet again, and emile looks to patton

patton explains gently "we need simpler language than that for her when she's regressed."

"oh my apologies..." emile starts, then tries again. "Vee?" he waits for vee to lower her softie from her eyes again to show shes listening. "Do you still want your papa?"

vees shoulders are tensed and shes hugging her softie so tight, still hiding partially behind it, but she nods a little

and so they continue with patton in the room

throughout the session she is REALLY shy of emile in this headspace but emile is just rly gentle and treats her like an actual young child while she sits in pattons lap and tries to interact with him, so emile manages to coax some stuff from her. and is shocked to find that this seems to be a headspace that actuslly allows vee to be more open and honest with him even if her language is limited

he asks her how does she feel right now? its okay if she doesnt know. is she scared? thats okay, it is very scary. she's being so brave. but is papas lap soft and warm? thats very nice! does it make her feel safe? does it help her tears go away? well thats good to hear, we dint want you to be sad. do you love papa? Can you show me how much? Woah that's a lot!!

and once vee has calmed down a lot and giggled a little at how nice dr picani is being to her, emile sees vee start to suck her thumb

unfortunately its not sanitary for her to suck her thumb in oublic since she must have touched surfaces, and pat brings her thumb away and desperately apologizes when vee whines and starts tearing up when papa wont let her suck her thumb. she dorsnt have her pretty paci so what else is she meant to do!

then emile announces in a very babytak voice. "vee, can you guess what I have in my desk drawer? Haha No, not frogs. Look!" and he pulls out a handful of lollipops! all different colours! and vee starts bouncign a little on papas lap and smiling

with a quick check that she has no allergies (egg, but there aint no egge in lollipops) emile lets her pick a flavor/color then givs it to her to suck on

patton needs to hold it for her though in case she accidentally swallows it, so her lil hands are just holdin gently on papas hand as he holds the lollipop for her and her legs are swingin, dangling down from papas lap bc she happy stims when she is eatin sweets by kicking her feet!

nearing the end of the session emile tells vee how good ahe's been answering al his questions and being well behaved for her papa. so he lets her pick a sticker to prove how good she was today!

but she doesn't want to touch the sticky or have it one her pretty dress, so patton asks her to point to her favourite and papa can pick it up for her. but shes too shy to pick one

so papa chooses one for her, a puffy pink kitty, then puts it on his nose to make her giggle. shes shy abt giggling in front of emile and buries her face on papas shoulder and patton cradles her head and coos and emile just watches all of this rly softly

and then their time is up and patton smiles and pats vee's leg and asks if she wants to be carried and she shakes her head with a proud smile. patton gasps "are you gonna be a big girl and walk on your own?"

then vees smile drops and she whines and grabs pats hand and patton giggles "no no not completely on your own. paps gonna hold your hand baby" so she nods and they get up with patton holding her hand

then patton says goodbye to emile and thanks him for being so kind to vee, and emile says "my pleasure. i'll see you next week vee!"

vee squeezes her papas hand and shuffles behind him a little. but she waves her softies tentacle at emile to say goodbye and emile smiles and waves to them "byebye dr violet, make sure you keep vee safe and happy this week!" and vee giggles and patton leads her outside

in the waiting room vee is much more closed off because theres the receptionist and a couple other clients in there so she just keeps her eyes down while papa signs them out - then she hears a slightly deep voice say "oh, I really like your stuffie"

vee doesnt really know how to react, she looks up a little and sees dark blue jeans and thick legs and vans sneakers but then quickly tugs pattons hand and steps behind him to hide from the stranger

"Thank you! It was a 'well done for going to therapy' gift from me" patton says cheerfully, and vee starts stroking his fingers as a comfort stim

"aw that's sweet!" the stranger says just as joyful as patton... so vee feels okay looking up now that she knows this stranger wasnt trying to make fun of her

she only catches some shaggy brown hair and a tshirt with what looks like a horror film image on it that she doesnt recognise. she doesnt dare make eye contact but she can tell the stranger is smiling at her

and she cant talk, shes too little, but shes not little enough to not understand whats happening. so she lets go of pattons hand bruefly to sign "thank you" then quickly grabs his hand again, feeling her cheeks warm and looking back to the ground

"you're welcome!" the stranger says, still happy, so vee smiles a little, then tugs pattons hand and looks up at him pleadingly

patton is beaming, his cheeks bunched in the biggest smile. "ready to go, sweetie?" vee nods "okay, here we go. It was lovely meeting you..."

"michael!"

"michael" patton smiles and holds out his other hand to shake michaels hand. "im patton and this is vee! have a good night!"

"you too, patton!" michael bids as patton and vee start walking away. then the voice soeaks again "bye vee!"

vee doesnt respond but she smiles and pulls dr violet up to hide it

patton leads her out to the parking lot and as he buckles her seatbelt for her he presses a big kiss to her cheek "im so so proud of you, babygirl"

and the whole ride home patton speaks softly and recaps what was good about theraoy this week. he does it to reinforce with vee that this is a good thing to do.

he talks about how lovely dr picani was and how he already knew what regression was. he talks about how funny his jokes were and how much she giggled. and her lollipop and her sticker - which they just realised was still on pattons nose and laughed about. and he talked about the lovely boy in the waiting room who liked vee's softie!

and the whole time vee is smiling and giggling and blushing and getting closer to full regression so that when they get home vee is just a bouncy wiggly giggly baby all night