#theres a couple of pictures from tour last year | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dear-ao3 · 4 months ago

Note

hungary. round 13 of the 2024 world championship. we are now officially halfway through the season. and well. it didn't disappoint. why do i say this? well. in every possible meaning of it: welcome back brocedes (and others)

today is july 27, 2024 (yes I KNOW ITS A WEEK LATE I KNOW SPA HAS ALREADY STARTED IVE BEEN BUSY OKAY) and lets fucking go

now. this post is going to be a disaster. more so than the other ones. im terrible sorry about it but that is just simply the way that it is. when we get to the disaster part i will let you all know but look. its a double header, we're hurtling towards the summer break and ive, as ive said i think last time, had a lot of things going on so. please tolerate the disaster i beg of you.

there was a lot that happened leading up to the race that i am just going to speed run fly through otherwise we will be here forever and i dont want to be here forever

-ralf schumacher (michael schumacher's brother, ex f1 driver) came out as gay via posting a photo of him and his partner on his instagram

-he happened to do this literally while his nephew, mick schumacher, was driving his leg of an endurance race in brazil

-most of the drivers went to either the euros or Wimbledon. carlos had fun with the fact that spain won and england did not and left lando this note on thursday

-lando responded by blocking carlos's spot on sunday

-if you were charles leclerc you went to neither the euros or Wimbledon. you were photographed wearing a big floppy hat.

-charles also went to the eras tour in milan with his girlfriend, alex. and there he met up with pierre and his girlfriend kika. aparently, according to the two of them, this was entirely unplanned and they had no idea that the other was coming and just kinda ran into eachother. there were some funny pictures of charles on the phone waving around and looking for pierre

and then of all of them together

(they are kind of wearing matching outfits?)

-and this might have been at silverstone but charles was asked how leos training is going and he said that leo and wait and he can sit but he cant do much else. he doesnt turn around unless there is food and he doesnt know how to lay down because he is already so short.

-we also had the very much anticipated leo and roscoe meet up!!!!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Arthur and Ollie (@arthur__ollie)

instagram

-leo and roscoe also totally overshadowed pierre and kick getting a dog, a toy poodle named simba

-and max and checo won the MTV MIAW award for couple goals? apparently this is a latin american music award. and also apparently max and checo won. which is incredibly funny for several reasons, the first of which being that they are not a couple (i think they were the only same sex people nominated also? and maybe the only people who weren't actually dating)

-esteban ocon now has his race winning car in his garage

-esteban has won exactly one grand prix and that was the 2021 hungary gp and this year he also made his helmet themed after his trophy from that race

-someone else did the same thing and it was lando norris, though he didnt win a hungarian gp, he broke max's trophy last year.

youtube

-they made a whole big deal out of it and the trophies are handmade porcelain so lando went with max to get a new one for max and blah blah, big thing

-anyway, lando also made his helmet after the trophy to commemorate the whole silly incident

-other important f1 drama from pervious years in Hungary was when kevin magnussen told nico hulkenberg to "suck my balls" on live tv. clearly they have gotten over that feud.

-alex and logan tried and almost failed at solving Rubik's cubes

-and stake (and others) continued to be goofy and insane when the severe rain storms earlier in the week flooded the whole paddock

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by sofia¹⁶ (@f1.sums)

instagram

-the rain storm ripped the roof off of the mclaren hospitality

-oscar said that "last time our motorhome caught on fire, lando put it on pole"

-which will take us right into silly season (yes i know im probably missing things, theres a lot to come here ok, just deal w it)

alright so lets just fly through this

first and foremost haas announced that kevin magnussen will not be re signing with the team in 2025, this is likely to make way for esteban ocon, who is heavily rumored to be going to haas, though no announcements have been made about it yet.

who is replacing esteban at alpine? well we still dont know. pierre hinted that it could be carlos sainz as he said in the press conference that "i welcome the fastest guy, we all know who that is" carlos meanwhile was asked if he had made a decision yet and he said "ive been busy watching the euros and i havent taken a decision. sorry." though he is probably waiting for a seat still from either mercedes or red bull. its unlikely that he will get a red bull seat, but mercedes could be back on the table as toto wolff said later in the week that his gut instinct is to wait on signing anyone (more on this later).

of course, jack doohan and mick schumacher are still on the table for seats, if not at alpine then elsewhere. mick did some testing this past week. one was a tire test for mclaren which had nothing to do with anything silly season. they had to do some mandated pirelli tire testing, in order to do it the person driving the car needs a full super license and meet some other requirements (which mick does) and none of McLaren's test and reserve drivers have a full super license and instead of bothering lando and oscar during the triple header they borrowed mick under the engine agreement because mclaren uses mercedes engines and mick is the mercedes test and reserve driver.

and he also tested for alpine along with jack doohan. apparently (according to alpine and toto wolff) he kinda knocked peoples socks off and went way faster than jack and teams like alpine and audi and williams are all some level of interested in him. audi having interest in him is not really surprising as mick is german and they have already signed nico hulkenberg who is also german and they are a german team. we've seen teams do this (have an all nationality line up) when entering the grid before, most notably with nico rosberg and michael schumacher at mercedes when they first started as a team we we know it back in 2010 (?).

which then takes us to liam lawson who ran a test in the red bull at silverstone (which is exactly what daniel ricciardo did last year) but aparently liams times were underwhelming and he was .200 off of max (which is not good enough in modern f1), and considering that perez was not instantly swapped as happened with daniel and nyck de vries last year, it seems that wont be happening.

and in any case, sergio perez said during this weekend that "Even if I win the race or even if I finish last. I have a contract with the team and I am going to fulfill it.” yuki tsunoda very clearly said that he thinks he deserves the seat next to max and said that if they chose liam, "it would be weird." but yuki has never been given a red bull test (daniel and liam both have) and christian horner pretty much said well one say it could happen, "you never know." but as we know, checo might have those stipulations in his contract saying he cant be more than 5 places or 100 points behind max in the championship by spa (next race) so who would replace him? the only other option is daniel ricciardo who said "i have two races to kick some arse and thats where my energy is right now" why two races? well because helmet marko said that "we wait until the next race in spa and then we make a decision."

and there you have it. silly season is sillying as per the usual.

now there is one thing that i have yet to mention, that is only adjacently related to f1 and it is this:

yes. that is in fact nico rosberg. aside from being a world champion, and the only person to beat 7 time world champion sir lewis hamilton in equal machinery, he also has an insane youtube channel which is pretty much dedicated to cars and f1 and environmentalism and vlogging and whatever else he feels like. anyway its been like over a year since hes posted anything. and he close. the middle of the hungarian gp week. to make a reappearance.

the video came out slightly later in the week and it is here. and just a quick tangent here about the video: he basically took his f1 engine from when he was in f1 and put it into a street legal mercedes hyper car. and aside from looking like there was light and joy and happiness in his eyes, he decided to paint the car silver. at first glance you might be thinking oh that is a normal shade of mercedes silver. incorrect! it is not! aparently he gave them a random code of color and was like hey i want this and didnt say why so people were like yeah alright probably just a good color. false. wrong. incorrect.

nico rosberg is good at one thing and that one thing is being absolutely fucking insane. so the color code was for a ferrari color called grigio ferro. a FERRARI COLOR on a MERCEDES POWERED CAR. nico. buddy. what on actual earth. (you know cause lewis was the mercedes driver and hes going to ferrari and yeah how can one not read into it?)

anyway. so we have nico floating around. and the weekend was shaping up to be another insane race. what could go wrong? (hint: a lot)

lets get into practice.

specifically practice 3 because i didnt watch 1 or 2. (charles ran into the wall in practice 2 and idk what else happened) and i only watched practice 3 because i was on a train stupid early and watched it live. and i was half asleep on this train and was like yeah ok ill watch the boys go vroom.

so there they were, they being crofty and ted, talking about who the favorite was (lando) and the car performance and the temperature when suddenly:

"now i am going to jump in here unannounced” said a certain blonde 2016 world champion, knocking the socks off of everyone

thats right everyone. not only is nico rosberg back vlogging, he is back in the paddock commentating for the first time since china. and since everyone on here has made it well known how much they like hearing about nico, im going to include him as much as possible (tho thats what will lead to the impending disaster later.)

and he had, as usual, a whole lot to say

the first thing that he chose to speak about was checo perez and his mental health

checo, as know, is getting speculated about left right and center by everyone and their mother about what's going to happen with his red bull seat. his teammate is max verstappen, arguably the best driver in F1 right now and perhaps one of the best ever.

nico rosberg, as we also know, was notably teammates with michael schumacher (admittedly, at the end of his career) and sir lewis hamilton. he knows a thing or two about being overshadowed by your teammate.

and so he said:

nico: “it’s difficult to see the mental struggle and for someone like perez now in this situation it’s really really hard yeah cause you into this big negative spiral uh you start to doubt yourself you have one of the greatest of all time next to you that’s verstappen um so… the media pressure starts as well in every press he’s at he’s like there’s fifty people in front of him saying are they gonna kick you out next race or how long will (you stay there)” crofty: “so can you empathize with sergio perez cause you were up against one of the all time greats as well? and you found a way to beat him over a season and become world champion?” nico: “well of course i can empathize that’s why i’m talking about it. i was in the same position!” crofty: “so what does sergio need to do then?” nico: “it’s it’s really uh it’s hard…of course work super hard and also a bit of luck that you hit the ground running on a weekend a fresh you know? and that you need to just find those little positive momentum’s to go back in an upwards spiral also the expectations are really re set. so now anything like within 3 4 tenths of max verstappen can already be a success so that also helps cause the expectations at rock bottom so that can help get him back into a positive momentum.”

despite checo's poor recent performance, nico also pointed out max's recent performance when the graphic flashed up on the screen saying "well thats not a very good run there...well we just saw max verstappens race results and it was a very unusual picture with a 6th in there and a fifth and a two wins and a second which is great. great for all of us.” great as in, it is entertaining.

there was also discussion about lando and mclaren

“mclaren and lando are at least as strong as max at the moment but have not maximized their opportunities," nico said. “max already knows how to fight for the win he’s done it so many times with lewis. lando needs to still learn and he’s learning quickly”

then, we started to have some runs on the soft tires. previously everyone else was running on the hards. and esteban ocon put some softs on, but was still .8 off of max, who was on hards.

nico did not hold back: “that’s looking like quite a struggle so far unless of course they’re running a lot more fuel but um i wouldn’t assume that so it’s a bit strange”

he also had a lot to say about the return of flavio briatore:

“but what a comeback we’ve seen from flavio briatore at that team, hm? he arrives at the track and the team jumps 10 places ahead instantly, have you noticed that?”

at first, crofty chalked this up to a coincidence but then asked, “what does he bring to a team like alpine?”

and nico once again was brutally honest: “well it’s such a mess over there that you really can do with an experienced hand as a consultant who takes a look from the outside and says ok listen this and this and this worked best in our day when this team was the best team in the world we should try and work back towards that. he also will definitely play a role in the drivers i’m sure of that. he can be very helpful”

it wasnt too long after this that pierre spun off the track, claiming that there was something wrong with the front brakes

and it was on a soft tire, which was bad because according to nico: “i was just going to say there with pierre gasley locking up into turn one that’s one of the horrible things that can happen in fp3 cause you ruin one of your sets of tires. cause it gets flat spotted and vibrates so much in the front that you don’t learn anything.”

then nico told some very insane story about how james vowels, back when he worked at mercedes, would only call nico "rosberg" so nico only called him "vowels"?

the camera then panned to a banner that someone had made:

crofty was speculating about whether or not toto was a cat person or a dog person and nico said "well he loves the flag”

crofty was confused “he loves the flag?”

“yes he seems very happy about that," nico said because aparently that is a pleased toto face.

nico also praised george, saying that he was doing "magical laps" while once again psychoanalyzing Lewis's driving down to the exact amount of tenths that he lost in each corner

and then he started to pull out the stats:

“well let’s remember lewis this is one of his best tracks, or one of his best with 9 pole positions but it’s also a track where i think george is extremely strong cause he put it on pole here just..two years ago? with a car that did not deserve pole at all so he’s also extremely quick here”

and if you're thinking, oh he just knows everyone's stats. incorrect.

because they started talking about fernando alonso a few minutes later and:

“but qualifying was never his (fernando’s) strength cause he only has twenty three pole positions? crofty if you could pull out the stat?” “uh he has got 22 pole positions” “22, which for the career fernando had that is surprisingly low. versus his thirty plus, what is it thirty race wins?” “…32”

i rest my case.

then the teams started putting in the fast laps. george and lewis both did fast laps. lewis on a new set of tires and george on an old set of tires. but despite the fact that lewis was on a new set of tires, he was still .2 seconds behind george.

nico started arguing with crofty over it: nico: “but this is a brand new set compared to george’s old set, yeah? and it looked all over the place that lap also so lewis…..” crofty: “but it’s an improvement of sorts to be 2 tenths back instead of 6.5 tenths back” nico: "sure but now george was only able to improve by what is it two tenths? his own lap? something?” crofty: “he’s gone one tenth up” nico: “yeah ok so then it’s not so bad for lewis to be just over two tenths behind that’s still acceptable at this point in time you can still make that up in qualifying.”

lando did a fast lap. and just like in china, nico continued to be president of the lando norris fan club:

“wow i was like shaking my head through that lap that was phenomenal to watch no that was phenomenal to watch that was so close to perfection between driver and car, magical, like as you said it was just the exit on the very last corner where there was a Slight imperfection with the rear stepping out cause the rear was blazing hot obviously by the end but wow incredible”

max also did a fast lap, but he was not satisfied with it. he was shaking his head as he crossed the finish line. this might prove to be an omen for the rest of the weekend.

and max was followed by checo, who continued to have an underwhelming performance

“wow miles away." nico said. "even on the hard tire he was 8 tenths off verstappen and now six tenths off still which is kinda where weve seen him lately but still so far off wow”

as far as the stand outs after practice? it was ruled that was daniel ricciardo, alex albon, and nico hulkenberg of the back marker cars. and then the two mclarens and max. lewis and the ferraris were not stand outs.

lewis then proved he was really not a stand out by sprinting out and going in the grass briefly.

“yeah this is not what you want to have happen before qualifying obviously cause you can tell that he’s not in the sweet spot and thats really not a nice place to be in,” nico said.

and then, well, practice was over and nico's services were needed elsewhere.

"we will see you and your shirt on screen in a few moments," crofty said to nico.

and what shirt was he referring to?

this one

yeah idk either guys.

and. nico nearly harassed toto and george threw peanuts at them:

but anyway. we dont really have time to unpack that

qualifying

and heres where the disaster begins.

this race weekend saw the return of a lot of dynamics (brocedes, sebastian vettel and mark webber, multi 21, mad max, etc etc.) so theres gonna be some interspersed lore in here with the everything else thats happening. and to top that off, nico rosberg was still commentating, but he was commentating on sky sports italy. and i do not have sky sports and i dont speak italian so i was watching crofty and martin and ted on the international broadcast so theres going to be weird intercut scenes and quotes from nico mixed from the other broadcast and yea. disaster. try to keep up i guess????

anyway. it was raining.

which aparently no one saw coming?

but it was raining for around an hour. and it was Damp. so could go inters. could go slicks. regardless, it was crunch time to get a lap in before the rain hit again.

despite the fact that rain was only Approaching, the track was still slippery, as logan sargeant demonstrated as he went off track, but managed to rescue it before he hit the wall.

mercedes was really having an absolute time of it. lewis was up in p1 meanwhile george was way down in p14. right on the cusp of getting knocked out. rain was coming in.

max was also not having a great time. and he was getting angry about the weather and the strategy over the radio, which is pretty typical of max. over the radio he said, to his race engineer, gianpiero lambiase (gp)

max: mate i dont think we can improve like this gp: what's your concern, the temperatures or the- max: the rain! THE RAIN! gp: okay. calm down max. then if youre concerned about the rain we can box, we cam come back to the garage its not a problem. you were talking to me about tire temps.

that plan pretty Immediately went out the window though because there was a big crash and crofty screamed "ITS PEREZ HES IN THE WALL"

and he was indeed

this was exceptionally bad news for checo. it was, as Martin said "the last thing that sergio perez needed today"

and nico, over at sky italy, speculated that potentially, checo's damages due to crashes could be costing red bull updates due to the cost cap

this sparked some more Speculation about checo's future and crofty said: “we get a lot of comments that are like when are you going to stop speculating about sergio perez’s future? and the answer is when he stops having moments like this. because there have been a lot of these.”

then ted said: “we’re not (speculating) it’s red bull who is and we are reporting on it that’s all we’re doing. when you’ve got helmut marko the special driver advisor at red bull saying that in terms of drivers ‘everything is open’ then we’re just reporting that they’re doing it but yeah christian horner's gonna have to have a round to his kitchen for another cup of tea isn’t he?”

but. the car was cleared. the track was damp. and qualifying resumed. there was some speculation that it might rain again and nico again bitched that engineers “will look at the radar to check if it's raining instead of just going outside.” reguardless all eyes were on one george russell, who as i said was down in p14, and came out on new softs

there was speculation from crofty that the cars were going to be fueled for three to five laps, so that the tires could get up to temperature by the last run.

five cars started on track but then gradually everyone came out, except for esteban and pierre as the result of a bad strategy call (the pit lane was saturated) (nico called this strategy "foolish") , and checo obviously

george though, came in just as the track was really starting to dry out again, which was surprising.

not as surprising though as daniel going fastest, a whole .037 seconds ahead of lewis.

and then! bottas knocked george russell out of qualifying.

george owned up to it on team radio, first saying "i’m sorry everyone that one is on me” and then later saying “why are we not putting enough fuel in the car to complete the session guys? traction is getting better and better”

toto later said it was mostly the teams fault, but george stuck true to the statement that he shouldn't have put the team in that position for the rest of the weekend.

over on sky italy, nico had some interesting things to say about george getting knocked out:

“... you know hamilton is happy about that. george has been doing better than him all weekend and now he's out...” [other commentators make shocked noises] “... maybe that was too blunt. i should have said, hamilton is sobbing over russell not making it into q2?”

george was interviewed during q2 and here was what he had to say about the ordeal:

george: “well there’s two factors. the first was i didn’t do a good enough job at the beginning and that was why i was down in p15 and then the next one was we put the new tires on at the end and we didn’t have enough fuel to complete the session and i was on track when it was wettest and when it was dryest i had no fuel so it was a disaster from both aspects we should have gone through comfortably on that last lap but we had no fuel so as i said that was on me for being in the position in the first place.” lawrence: “that’s an unusual mistake to make isn’t it?” george: “um. yeah. it’s not our usual standard for sure. but yeah we need to go through it, i need to understand what happened at the beginning but i mean having enough fuel for the whole session is a fundamental so we uh as a team we made a big error.”

the only other interesting thing to happen in q2 was that charles came very close to hitting the garage when he pulled out and crofty said "now that is either incredibly fortuitous or the most precise piece of driving charles leclerc will put in all weekend long”

and well. we've all seen his parking.

oh and! logan sargeant made it to q2! for the second week running! he was happy about that. alex albon, his teammate was not happy though that he didnt make it to q3 because he thought he would have been able to if he had been able to go out again at the end. this was the start of some of the Bonkers Strategy Calls that we were going to see throughout the weekend.

which takes us to q3.

and it was going to Rain

which meant speed run! to the track! get in a lap as fast as possible!

max got the ball rolling with a 1:15.555. and he was complaining about his front win. oscar tried to beat him. he failed by .308 seconds. but lando DID beat him and put himself on provisional pole with a 1:15.227. by now it was raining in the pit lane. people were getting antsy.

and yuki crashed!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

nico made a joke about this. what the joke was, i am not sure, but one of the other commentators told him "your COLLEAGUE is IN THE WALL!! BE NICE!!"

he was okay! but there was a red flag

lando was on pole still, oscar was .022 behind him and then max was .046 off of oscar

and then something interesting happened

obviously there was a red flag and obviously it was starting to rain more. but there was still enough time in the session left for everyone to be able to just barely have enough time to go out again.

despite this! max and fernando started getting out of their cars and taking off their gloves and helmets, clear signs that they were not going to be getting back on track (yes, drivers sometimes do this during red flags and can still get back in the car but this was not a particularly bad accident and so it would heave been impractical to get out of the car)

fernando threw a bitch fit about it, throwing his clothes literally on the ground as he complained about how the fia had handled the red flag and he said later that he thought he could have been able ti improve his time if the fia had handled the red flag better, but thats not the point here. the point is that george russell walked past the bitch fit filled with swagger, only to turn around and go back because he remembered that he has a job and its to listen to the drivers complain. (hes the head of the drivers union)

but max and fernando both ended up getting out because they were "reasonably sure that they would not improve their lap time"

meanwhile. oscar.

he was waiting on the pit exit to be able to go back on track, smack in the middle of the queue behind lando and lewis. his race engineer, tom, came over the radio and said:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Emi (@f1_emi_f1)

instagram

then after that he said

"priority here oscar is not getting any sporting infringements of penalties. so that means not excessively impeding cars in the pit exit."

and oscar had the perfect reaction:

once everything got up and running again it was a mad dash to the start line. or well. kinda. the two mclarens took their sweet time to slow down the other cars. nico was asked what he thought of it and he said "I think it's fine but they change the rules so often I can't keep up." the order was lando, lewis, oscar, Daniel, lance, charles and carlos. everyone but carlos made it to the line and time and.....no one improved upon their times except for daniel who moved into 9th.

so all that kerfuffle was pretty much for nothing

but! we had a mclaren front row lockout! with lando on pole and oscar p2. and the mclaren twitter admin got a little bit too excited about this:

now this is clearly a very bongled stat. this is the third time mclaren has locked out the front row in hungary but the 64th time in the teams history that theyve locked out the front row. the tweet was soon after deleted.

lando said in his post race interview that he was expecting to win. oscar said that they wanted to get a 1 2. and max said “of course i love competition but i would like to be on top of the competition”

nico had a prediction on sky italy and it was "Lando not even bothering celebrating pole position... I bet that tomorrow, by turn 2, Max will have overtaken Oscar and be second. After turn 2.”

this was right in line with what nico said earlier in the week that "ive heard rumors that the middle eastern bosses were very much fuming because a couple of wins have been thrown away now/"

that though did not stop him from rambling on about the "amazing grip" of the mclaren

and now before we get into the race, unfortunately we need to talk about some back story. and that back story is Sebastian vettel and mark webber.

sebastian vettel, as i have talked about before, is an ex formula 1 driver, most notably for red bull and ferrari, a 4x world champion, the youngest ever world champion, bee enthusiast, environmental enthusiast, and also the proud owner of several terrible pairs of shorts.

mark webber, as i have also talked about before, is an ex formula 1 driver most notably for williams and red bull, oscar piastri's manager, australian, notable number 2 driver, and he coined nico rosberg's britney nickname

the two were teammates at red bull for the entire time sebastian was there, from 2009-2013 (though i think mark was there from 2007? on?) this was also during the time that seb won his 4 championships from 2010-2013.

by all accounts, sebastian vettel was an absolute menace on the grid but especially in his red bull days. and this was exemplified by nothing better than the infamous multi 21 incident at the 2013 Malaysia gp

so now, briefly, cause we still have a. whole race to get to, lets se the scene. (this is a really shit a brief retelling of the story, if you want more detail i implore and beseech you to google it)

seb is a 3x champion at this time, 25, and absolutely dominating the sport

mark is a 0x world champion, basically just seb's number 2 driver, 36, and in his last year in f1

seb was starting on pole, mark p4 and then both mercedes (nico and lewis) were behind them. mark ended up taking the lead from seb early on and towards the end of the race both cars were told to hold position, which we now know as the multi 21 instruction. (mark was car 2 seb was car 1, car 2 must remain in front of car 1)

mark was on older tires, seb was on newer tires. marks engine power was also turned down slightly and i think he was told that seb was going to slow down as well. this was not the case.

with 13 laps to go, seb passed mark, defying team orders and winning the race.

over radio, seb was told "this is silly seb, come on"

as he was trying to get past, mark said "yeah thats good teamwork!" (he had been told the race was his) and he got the following response "okay mark, he was told, he was told!"

over radio after passing seb said "i was really scared, main straight. all of a sudden he was moving and i had to lead the line, to repeat, i had to get over the line"

after he had won, sebs race engineer said "good job sebastian, good job. it looked like you wanted it bad enough, but there will be some explaining to do"

in the cooldown room after the race, mark said "multi 21 seb" *throws hands in frustration* "yeah, multi 21" *slams down water bottle*

seb said nothing and angrily chugged his water bottle

on the podium mark said "in the end seb made his own decision and will have protection as usual and thats the way it goes" (seb told mark at the next race in china that he had no respect for him as a person after making that comment)

and seb later did apologize for it in a post race interview, saying "i put myself above that decision today, i didnt mean to i can only you know, say sorry, apologize, i know it might sound very dull now to mark and to the team but its the truth"

their relationship had already been rocky, and it was never really the same again after that

years later, mark said he wasnt angry about this but more sad that the team had reached that point. many have pointed out that sebs actions were likely payback for the previous year's championship deciding fight in brazil when mark squeezed seb against the pit wall at the start, which seb was really angry about. malaysia was at the start of the 2013 season, so it was only 2 races after brazil, despite the fact that it was separated by several months.

seb was ultimately not punished for the incident because his lawyer sent red bull a two page letter a few days later saying that the team order breached his contract because it had been an unreasonable team order.

so thats, basically, multi 21.

lets also remember that mark webber is none other than oscar piastri's manager. mark webber was a very very infamous "number 2 driver" (with him even saying "not bad for a number 2 driver") meaning that youre just there to help your teammate win. he has said or implied before and of course i cant find it that oscar has it in him to be a number 1 driver and win championships. this will all come back in a few minutes.

lets also also remember that who is in the paddock this weekend? nico rosberg. the very same nico rosberg who was involved in one of the most insane and intense teammate rivalries in f1 (we've been over this before but in case you forgot, nico and lewis battled head to head for three straight years at mercedes, destroying their childhood friendship, playing mind games with eachother and actively trying to sabatoge eachother in order to win the world championship. lewis won the first two of those years, nico won the last year and then announced his retirement from f1 at the prize giving ceremony)

nico also made a prediction for who he thought was going to win:

and there had been speculation that the infamous rosberg curse had been broken last weekend when lewis won after nico predicted that he would, but we will see.....

also, prior to the race, max had stayed up late and by late i mean until at least 3 am to do a shift of racing for his sim racing team. this is not the first time that max has done this, he also did this before imola and everyone was fine with it. max also won the race in imola (albeit by like .7 seconds or something but he still Won)

and with all that in mind. the race.

our starting order:

lando norris oscar piastri, max verstappen carlos sainz lewis hamilton charles leclerc fernando alonso lance stroll daniel ricciardo yuki tsunoda nico hulkenberg valtteri bottas alex albon logan sargeant kevin magnussen checo perez george russell zhou guanyu esteban ocon pierre gasly

and i think pierre started from the pit lane? yes no maybe idk?

what i do know is that the race started and lando Immediately lost the lead

like Immediately

to oscar

so oscar was p1 and lando had been trying not to hit oscar so he went a little bit wide which caused max to react and go off the track. max rejoined the track in front of lando in p2 which lando and mclaren said was leaving the track and gaining an advantage.

"max has to give back the position!" lando said over the radio.

max was pissed about it over the radio and said that he was shoved off and refused to give the position back. max of course didnt know that lando had not been shoving him off the track and literally had nowhere else to go because he was trying to not hit oscar. so the incident went to the race directors

max was told rather sternly to let lando past on lap 4. and he begrudgingly did. there was no further investigation.

"okay, so you can just drive people off the track then?" max asked over radio. "then you can tell the fia thats how were going to race from now onwards. just driving people off the road"

and everyone that statement was very exciting for all of us because it meant that mad max was making a reappearance.

who the hell is mad max?

well that would be max verstappen, but more angry.

prior to dominating f1 for the last 2 years, max had plenty of angry radios, but since he hasn't been fighting too many people for race leads or been stuck in the mid field recently, we havent heard too much of it. until this weekend. and believe me, there was more to come.

speaking of the midfield, they were starting their pit stops. albon, k mags and ocon pitted on lap 7 while alonso ricciardo and zhou all pitted on lap 8. which was a little early for some for pitting, but they still did it.

mostly because the undercut is strong here. meaning that you pit before your enemies for best results. supposedly.

with all the pit stops though, checo and george had made it up to p11 and p12 but were now very effectively stuck in the mid field. and by lap 12 everyone who had pitted already was lapping faster than them.

speaking of undercuts, hamilton who was in p4, went for the undercut on max, pitted on lap 17 and came out behind yuki in p7. over at sky italy, nico rosberg yelled excitedly "it's got to be hammertime now!" lando, still up in p2, also pitted on lap 17.

max, meanwhile, was having problems. "i cant brake, i cant enter corners, front and rears" despite these apparent issues, max kept driving the car

it was at this point when they started bringing up that max had been sim racing for awhile the night before.

meanwhile, oscar was still out in p1 and he had built up an 8 second lead over max who was in p2 since lando had pitted. oscar pitted on lap 19.

checo and george did not pit. they were still stuck behind yuki in 8 and 9th.

also not slaying was aston martin. fernando and lance were down in 12 and 13. they started on soft tires and were now trying to get past nico hulkenberg. they were failing as of lap 27. but on the next lap fernando managed to get passed when nico locked up.

"CAN LANCE GET PAST TOO???....no." crofty yelled

and also also not slaying was williams

their tire strategy was leaving much to be desired. it was a little hard to figure out what had happened but they basically told alex one tire strategy initially and then changed it mid race kinda without notice. he was less than pleased.

"we're now thinking were going to have to go to plan b" his race engineer said

"yeah" alex said "but i dont appreciate when you do that. and now the tires are dead. we're just too indecisive."

for some context, alex was able to get 5 spots up to p9 at the start of the race, then had a really slow pit stop and this call ultimately led to him being stuck on the same very dead tires for 40 laps. worry not everyone, this was not the last bad strategy call that was made this weekend.

while all that was happening max and carlos had pitted. max came out in 5th behind lewis.

checo finally pitted on lap 29 right along with pierre, daniel and alonso.

and yuki pitted, for the First time i might add, on lap 30.

this was another weird ass strategy call because by the time daniel had pitted twice yuki was only just pitting once. and this was generally a two stop race. and 70 laps. hm hm. maybe it'll pan out for daniel whos to say!

oscar meanwhile had managed to get back out to the front and was ahead by 4.413 seconds on lap 33.

on lap 43 lewis was under pressure from max. over at sky italy, nico rosberg had a lot to say about that:

"you cant imagine how difficult it is to have verstappen behind! right now lewis has to give it his all!"

and while that battle was happening, pierre retired his car on lap 35. for the SECOND week in a row. due to a hydraulic leak.

oblivious to that though, lewis and max kept battling. max briefly got past lewis but he went wide and lewis was able to pass him back.

again nico had a lot to say. (not sure if this was said specifically here but im making educated guesses). one of the other commentators said that lewis gave up his position, and nico disagreed: "no no! he braked early and max simply braked late! lewis did not give up anything!"

max got back on radio after locking up: "im minus five brake bias and this thing just doesnt fucking turn its undriveable"

crofty was unimpressed with this. "he sounds like a man who could have done with a better nights sleep last night"

and over on sky italy, nico was saying similar things. though he was saying it a bit more unhinged.

"last night lando's bed time was 11:05. wake up at 8:05. so hyperprofessional. at the same time you have verstappen, who until 3am was sim racing. thats a bit disappointing. it shows hes too used to his ease of domination."

and why did he know lando's exact bed time? aparently he called him??? baffling man. anyway.

hamilton and leclerc pitted on lap 41. and we havent talked about ferrari too much i know but that was mostly because they were actually having a pretty decent race. and by that i mean that other people were fucking up far worse than they were. though, nico rosberg did compliment charles's tire use.

they both came out in fifth and sixth behind sainz and verstappen

max was once again, unimpressed.

"its quite impressive how we let ourselves get undercut, and just completely fucked my race," he said.

that was not what ted thought tho. he said "max does not have a car that hes comfortable with." hm.

meanwhile. as interesting as that was. something else even more interesting was about to happen. and that was that lando was about to make his second pit stop.

this was interesting because as i said and as max brought up, the under cut is powerful here. at the very beginning, lando was also told that his fight was Not with oscar with first, but with max for second. and then, a few laps before his second pit stop he was told that he could fight oscar. hm

in any case. lando pitted.

this was aparently to protect against lewis in p3.

nico rosberg, undoubtedly reliving the silver war in real time, said "they should then let piastri pass him, let's see how they manage it"

oscar was told not to worry about it when he came in two laps later on lap 47 for his pit stop. he was told not to worry about lando because they were going to reinstate the order.

lando was now ahead of oscar.

max was leading cause he hadn't pitted again yet, then lando and then oscar.

on lap 49 lando was told to give the position back at his convenience. remember that this is a 70 lap race. that is plenty of time to swap back.

on lap 50 nico rosberg was once again loosing his mind: "i would be worried in piastri's shoes! we'll have to see what lando does ... and they told him, let him pass when you want, i'd do it on the last lap!"

he also predicted how lando would swap the position back (if he did):

"he's gonna slow down. he's gonna make it so obvious. he's going to humiliate him... kind of like Lewis when he was asked to give me the position and was bitter about it"

max went to box and came out in fifth so now lando was leading.

and he was still pulling away from oscar. oscar who he was supposed to swap back with.

lets get a little refresher on the driver's championship standings. while we wait for lando to give the position back.

max: 255 points lando: 171 points charles: 150 points carlos: 145 points oscar: 124 points checo: 118 points george: 111 points lewis: 110 points fernando: 45 points lance: 23 points nico: 22 points yuki: 20 points daniel: 11 points ollie: 6 points pierre: 6 points kevin: 5 points alex: 4 points esteban: 3 points guanyu, vlatteri and logan: 0 points

so. max and lando are only 84 points apart. first place gets you 25 points. second gets you 18. hm. all things to think about.

"once you get to lando we will swap positions" oscar was told over the radio. which is Not what they had told lando, btw. lando was told originally that they would be swapping positions.

nico rosberg once again had things to say: "im suffering with piastri! because theyre telling him, if youre not as fast as norris, we might not let you past! ai ai! horrible!"

he also criticized McLaren's inability to give unclear instructions, saying "im not in agreement with mclaren's strategy, you have to be precise in your instructions"

meanwhile, there was some speculation that mclaren might have to keep lando in front because max was picking up speed again.

max disagreed with this though. gp tried to be positive with him over the radio and max said "no mate dont give me that shit you guys gave me this shit strategy, okay? im trying to rescue whats left"

crofty once again said "not to be critical but it sounds like max stayed up too late playing a sim race which he did and got up early to do a sim race session with he did instead of getting a good nights sleep" and then anthony davidson came on and defended max, saying "the last time max did 24 hours of sim with his team he won the grand prix. some of us dont need that much sleep."

max though was oblivious to all of this as he tried to pass charles but failed. he was trying to very politely pass charles as well, because charles as we all know will not hesitate to send max off the track and into a wall if provoked. he finally managed to get past him on lap 57.

lando had still not swapped back the positions. but he had gotten a whole earful from his engineer about how much he was over using his tires in pretty much every corner.

on lap 57 lando was told "lando we still think youre using the tires too much...i know you'll do the right thing." the gap between him and oscar had grown to 3.876 seconds. lando hadn't actually responded in awhile during all the tire talk and they did a radio checo to make sure he could still hear them cause they thought that was the problem (he could hear them)

this is when multi 21 started to get brought up. you remember, multi 21 from the Malaysia gp between sebastian vettel and oscar piastris very own manager, mark webber?

"oscar piastri's manager has a thing about team orders not being followed" crofty said. they also said that it would have been a breach of trust if lando didnt switch back.

meanwhile, nico also had things to say about the multi 21 comparison: "when you feel like your team is giving more importance to your teammate, that's a horrible feeling" and nico would know this first hand because again he was half of the great silver war.

10 laps to go. lando was still out in front. 4.7 seconds ahead.

"okay lando," will, his race engineer begged over the radio. "10 laps to go. both cars are using tires too much. remember every single sunday morning meeting we have, okay?" basically saying, remember that oscar has been there for you in strategy before, you need to be there for him now.

lando was not phased. "okay well then tell him to catch up please." lets remember that lando is nearly FIVE SECONDS AHEAD RIGHT NOW

nico rosberg had started to leave the commentary box because he had to get ready to interview the winner, but when that radio came back through he ran bACK INTO THE BOX AND SCREAMED

"guys LITERALLY COPY OF WHAT LEWIS USED TO SAY! when they'd say "let nico pass" "well he needs to come get me first". FOR REAL COPY AND PASTE SAME WORDS."

and aparently when he was asked why he wasnt leaving to get ready for the interviews he giggled and said "I CANT LEAVE NOW FOR SURE IM STAYING HERE!"

he did eventually leave though, sadly :/

and lando's race engineer was still losing his mind. "lando, he cant catch up, you've proved your point."

but that was briefly abandoned because max decided to take red bull gives you wings literally:

he locked up and bumped into lewis, and it was flagged for causing a collision.

miraculously, max kept racing, but he was now definitely behind lewis, actually 2 spots behind lewis in 5th. and he was pissed.

"yeah, i moved out of braking" max said over radio.

gp was kind of done with him at this point. "im not even going to get into a radio fight with the other teams, max. its childish on the radio, childish."

the crash was hard enough to trigger the sensor that requires drivers to be checked by the medical team post race. so gp came back on and said

"i understand the medical delegate neds to have a look at you and examine you."

max was having none of it. "we can send the medical delegate to the stewards team and they can have a look. see if they are all okay. im absolutely fine."

regardless of all that though, nico did give us his thoughts on this crash in the post race show:

"im assuming here that maybe max hasn't seen it (the crash) yet on tv? otherwise someone needs to tell him that there was actually a corner which is why lewis was turning in? i mean, lewis was taking the corner."

regardless. there were now five laps left. and lando had still yet to give the spot back.

"lando," will begged again. "there are five laps to go, the way to win a world championship is not by yourself its with the team"

this is about when crofty started saying that “would lewis hamilton move over, would max verstappen move over, would fernando alonso move over? lando is coming of age and learning to say no. i’m your number one driver.”

mclaren though were simply not having it. despite the fact that they were the ones who had put themselves in this situation in the first place.

and oscar, who had been quiet this whole time, finally said on lap 66 "the longer we leave this the riskier it gets"

by lap 67 will was absolutely Done with lando. "Please. Do. It Now."

and so on lap 68, lando finally slowed down on the straight, and let oscar by. "you dont need to say anything." lando said over radio.

lando did manage to stay within DRS of oscar, and for a quick second everyone thought he might try to pass him back again, but he didnt.

and so, OSCAR PIASTRI WON THE 2024 HUNGARIAN GP!!!!

his post race radio though was anything but celebratory:

"well done oscar, well done. checkered flag. really good." "yep. thank you everyone. thank you very much. thank you for the coordination. sorry i made the swap a little more painful than it needed to be but yeah thank you, appreciate that. well done. come good points. really good weekend. first f1 win. thank you everyone, thank you, thanks."

now oscars a very chill guy so no one was expecting him to be insane and celebrating but it was still a little more subdued than everyone thought it would be. people are usually screaming and cheering. this was anything but.

and will buxton (who was not present this weekend) tweeted pretty much that:

anyway. that aside. we had the interviews. for the top three.

who were the top three?

oscar, lando and lewis. lewis was in fact celebrating his 200th podium in f1 (the record)

and who was conducting the interviews?

why none other than NICO ROSBERG!

yes. a brocedes interaction in 2024. a real live brocedes interaction in 2024. who would have thought.

idk when the last time these two spoke publically was, but i know its been awhile. and this did not disappoint:

and yes it was a very nice and civilized interview and once everyone got over the holy shit theyre Talking aspect. well. lewis fucking WINKED at nico at the very end of it.

brocedes, no one will ever be as insane as you.

while that was happening, oscar did the p1 sebastian vettel finger

crofty was beside himself about it

also really quickly because it is in fact 1 am and i do need to sleep but ted lost his mind over the hat that oscar was wearing. cause pretty much everyone at mclaren was wearing one. and ted had a right proper crisis over How the hats were made when When they were made and Where they came from and it was really quite funny please watch it

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Oluyinka Olumide huh?/ehh? (@oluyinkaolumide)

instagram

charles also came over to congratulate his son

also, in case you were wondering, lando was the first person to congratulate oscar on his win:

and they had this moment while lewis was getting interviewed:

so they seemed to be okay? whos to say.

especially because this happened in the cool down room

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

instagram

so lets unpack that.

first lando chucks to p2 hat ala nico in the cool down room 2015 in cota right after lewis won the world championship:

and then kinda insulted lewis. which btw, no one (not even lewis) really blamed him for because hes still coming off of his adrenaline high. racing cars takes a lot of work.

the podium was also interesting.

oscar first shielded his trophy from lando (because you know lando broke max's last year) and before lando champagne popped he gave his trophy to an official to be taken off stage so that he didnt accidentally break it

this did not stop oscar from holding his own trophy as lando popped his champagne.

although! lando did not spray oscar! he sprayed lewis! interesting!

lando, of course, was hard on himself again for the race result and i cant find what he actually said but i can find nico defending him:

"well lando is always a little bit, hes on the more sensitive side psychologically and also he criticizes himself a lot even on the start you know now on the start he criticized himself but actually it was the shift that caused the bad start and the shift is most likely not him, actually its 100% not him if thats the case he always exaggerates i find with criticizing himself."

one things for certain tho, the rosberg curse is clearly still very much a thing.

(as a very brief aside, aparently they asked nico what he thought of lewis going to ferrari and he thought it was an april fools joke)

despite all the drama though, oscar said later that he thinks that mclaren can definitely win the constructors championship. and andrea stella (the mclaren team principal) said that he trusts "lando 100% and ultimately he made the right decision"

(zak brown, the mclaren racing ceo, was i think at the indy car race this weekend, mark webber (oscars manager and multi 21 victim) was at the formula e race, oscars girlfriend was also not present and his mom was not at the race because she never comes because they scare her, but she did tweet that her 6 am pilates class was cancelled, likely because she would be celebrating)

this did not stop nico rosberg again from interviewing andrea stella and really giving him a piece of his mind.

i cannot find the exact quotes but it was something to the nature of ANDREA WHAT ARE YOU DOING PLEASE YOU NEED TO BE MORE CLEAR WITH YOUR INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE BELIEVE ME I HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THIS ANDREA PLEASE

and andrea, to his credit, was just like. okay. yes i trust you. i will take your advice. you have experience here.

nico was still Displeased though

but enough of that. lets look at some of the other flops of the weekend. cause there were many.

so, this was the finishing order:

oscar, lando, lewis, charles, max, carlos, checo, george, yuki, lance, fernando, daniel, nico, alex, kevin, valtteri, esteban, and guanyu

so we've talked about the top 3. Ferrari, somehow, given everything that happened seemed like a big happy family of a team. which is saying a lot when we remember everything ferrari's been doing recently.

checo also had a pretty good race. p16 up to p7. and so did george, p17 to p8 and he took fastest lap.

yuki ended p9, which was good. he had started p10. but his teammate daniel, who if you will remember is trying to potentially be on deck for the red bull seat (though we dont know if there will be a swap because daniel is horner's pick and helmut marko wants to leave checo blah blah bureaucracy) finished p12 after starting p9 because of the shitty tire strategy he had been put on. remember, he was called to pit after a very short first stint on the mediums (he pitted when people who had started on softs were pitting) (and came out in traffic in a drs train) and ended up doing both of his pits before yuki had done his first.

ted even said post race about daniel:

"Not the greatest strategy in the world. It was not Daniel's fault that he was P12. Some people would say that but there was nothing he could do about it, Yuki had the better strategy so ended up P9."

there was even briefly worry that daniel was skipping media. which was pretty worrying because even when daniel was getting fucked over left right and center at mclaren (thats another post entirely), he still came to all the media sessions. but he did eventually appear.

moving on from that. aston martin. they also aparently had team orders, but their team orders got ignored.

fernando was told to let lance past to try to get past yuki. if lance could not overtake, then he was supposed to give the spot back. he did not overtake yuki and he did not give the spot back. so lance ended in the points and fernando did not.

and we already talked about williams

there were a few other things that happened post race. nico rosberg got incredibly pissed at the sky sports team for trying to get him to back liam lawson as the best replacement option for checo at red bull and he said something to the effect of: SURE! YES! HES THE BEST CHOICE MAYBE. VERY HIGH RISK THO. ITS A BAD IDEA TO PUT A ROOKIE INTO A RED BULL SEAT

speaking of rookies, kimi antonelli won his second f2 race, but he did openly admit to the press that he's not sure if he's ready for f1 yet because he is still learning a lot in f2 and he s not doing everything correctly yet. and ill have you all know that i tried to find the link to that article and my google literally froze. its time to wrap this damn thing up. tho he will be testing the mercedes again after the belgian gp

and max verstappen had a lot to say after the race, mostly in response to what people said about his angry interviews

"i not know why people think you cant be vocal on the radio," max said. "this is a sport"

max was also banned from late sim racing before gps by red bull. which is kinda funny. cause that was the squeaky wheel that needed the grease!

and carlos also defended oscar's win and the swap, because his own first win also had a lot to do with team orders.

and i really think that the last thing that i need to talk about is oscar's post race celebrations. which he said were not very glamorous because

"we had a flight back from budapest that was significantly delayed and then flew into a different airport. i didnt get home until about 5am and my girlfriend was waiting at home for me. spent a few hours with her that were asleep and that was about it. had mcdonald's - we were flying back with a few of the drivers, lando was there, alex albon, a couple of others. in our wait for the alway we got a cheeky maccas, ad a big mac, got home at 5am and that was the celebrations. just a couple of f1 drivers, getting some burgers and nuggets really. we didnt take any trophies or anything, not that you can put anything in those trophies anyway. we had three or four hours of delays and there wasnt any food around so mcdonald's was the nearest and the most convenient thing so that was what we chose."

he also said that he and lando "were good" because they shared mcdonald's and "we were playing monopoly on the way back on the plane, were all good apart from alex albon teaching us a thing or two about monopoly!"

about not having his family there, oscar said "of course its nice to have people that are close to you there, but its impossible to predict where youre going to get good results so its just luck of the draw of whos there in some ways. marks not missed many races in y f1 career, maybe three or four. he was very busy with mitch in london, so i dont blame him at all for going to do that. but i got to see lily that night, a little bit later than id planned, but it was still nice to go back and see her."

and despite the fact that it was clouded by all the team orders drama (just like how oscars first sprint win was clouded by max winning the world championship) oscar piastri is still a race winner. he had excellent moves in the first corner and was able to hold p1 until the team made the terrible pit stop decision. oscar and lando both deserved to win, but it is mclaren here that is really at fault.

reguardless. oscar piastri is a race winner.

last but not least, a very very big shoutout to everyone who posted quotes and clips from nico on sky italy and on the post race show. i didnt tag anyone cause i would hate to crash anyones computer or phone opening this post but i did link everything if anyone is curious :)

and i will see all of you very soon in our last race before summer break: spa

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#Youtube #not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #formula 1 #hungarian gp 2024 #i really hope that was everything #aaa #i falling asleep its a miracle this got posted #literally a mircale #nico rosberg i love you but goddamn you yap so fucking much and it kills the update post #alas tho anywayyyyy #Instagram

3K notes · View notes

fwkei · 3 years ago

Text

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

------------------------------------

You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own.

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more.

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat.

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid.

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything.

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face.

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked

“Oh good!” they both said

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema

“A brothel..” you said under your breath

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration.

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor.

You thought to yourself

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement.

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being.

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling

“I’m sure..!” you smiled

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex.

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest.

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed

“Hi!” you said frantically

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side.

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling

“Right!” you said getting up

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling

“Okay.” you said doing as he said

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you.

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers

“Yeah that's right.” you said

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve

That went pretty well.

You thought

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open.

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head

Is this Ken?

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are.

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly.

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him.

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something.

“Are you okay?” you asked

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something.

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already.

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him.

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave.

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you.

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work.

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember?

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before.

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head.

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity.

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that.

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock

“Come in.” he said

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot.

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry.

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then.

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter

“..Thanks” he said

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him

“Yeah..” he said smiling

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff

“Why’d you do it?” he asked

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled.

“Likewise.”

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down.

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face.

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock.

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revenger x reader #draken #draken x reader #fluff #angst #idk lmfao #toman #draken x y/n #tokyo rev

239 notes · View notes

iwanthermidnightz · 3 years ago

Note

The quote from the Jack about the point being to “find *your* people” is so true. When you start to find *your* people, you become more comfortable in being vulnerable enough to slightly let people see you if that makes sense.

I feel like that idea/concept applies to red, 1989, reputation, lover, folklore/evermore. I think Taylor started to lean into that with red and 1989, but fully embraced it with reputation, folklore and evermore.

For the longest time, people heard Taylor’s music with a “wash, rinse, repeat” mindset—automatically reducing it to songs about ex boyfriends, etc. Dismissing her craft by saying she couldn’t write a song or make an album unless she broke up with someone first.

Rep, Lover, folklore & evermore were each different in their own way and I think that *her* people are the ones who really connected to them whereas some people were disappointed that those albums weren’t in the vein (or an exact copy) of 1989. Even in that disappointment, she still connected with people who may have never thought they would have or could have done so in the way that they did.

With reputation, some people were SO quick to write that album off because it wasn’t what they felt accustomed or entitled to—the music “wasn’t good”….because they didn’t get it. It didn’t cater to them. The stadium tour was going to flop because the music didn’t apply to “her crowd”.

But you know who did get it? You know who understands the undertones on folklore/evermore? The LGBTQIA community. Now compare “her people” to *her* people.

Jack was on 🎯 with his comment. I think his comment is definitely something he has opened her eyes to as they have worked together on her last couple of albums and you can hear it.

So true. I completely understand what you mean. I think we’ve talked about this regarding Taylor plenty of times over the years. There was this visible shift starting 1989 era, particularly when she moved to New York and started experiencing new things and people. This was only the start. How much she’s grown from then to now always makes me smile. Of course this is called growing up, but theres something about letting go of your fears (and your ghosts) and taking a leap into territory you were always afraid of and surrounding yourself with likeminded people and trying to find yourself. You can see that shift in her demeanor, the clothes she wore, the people she was around etc. I think some of these same people are still on this journey with her because they’ve formed meaningful relationships and bonds and she holds them close and is protective over that. They’re still with her in the shadows, in the darkest times and in the good times as well.

With her music I feel like there was always this unspoken rule to cater to certain audiences, to make a bop and a cohesive body of work by following certain rules. While previous songs are still personal, you can see a huge shift with reputation where she let her guard down and wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. It was something for her that she needed to say with no questions asked. This is where certain audiences felt seen and related to it because it was tangible to our experiences. The experience of finding yourself, people who are like you and people who make you happy and wanting to protect it but also still going through some really dark shit and trying to balance it all. I think the time leading up to reputation era was a time of major soul searching and personal growth even though it was a hard time. I don’t want to say in exacting terms, but it feels like around this time she accepted herself and that step opened many other doors for her and she chose to live in a way that works for her.

Lover is vulnerable in its own way because she allowed herself to explicitly specify whats important to her as a person and how this shapes the way she lives and writes. Theres this confidence and stability in what shes trying to say yet anxiety as well, and dipping into experiences from her youth. This bleeds over into the next albums. She’s vulnerable enough to let certain people have a glimpse, while others see the deeper picture.

folklore/evermore is a whole other dimension of vulnerability and rawness that we’ve never witnessed from her, and I think thats why its so special. She allowed herself to escape reality, to go back in time and to feel a spectrum of emotions in this world of isolation, and to put it out there unvarnished. Feelings that she spent her whole life trying to put into words, but protecting that side of her at the same time. I think how she presented these albums and the experiences behind it resonated with a certain group of people more than others and brought up feelings that have been pushed down for a while, but also the major nostalgia and innocence it made us feel.

To get back to Jack, I think her working on all these albums with him and him diving with her into the deep shit and talking through it definitely resonated over the years and I love that they can create in a honest safe space like that. The same goes for Aaron. I think they work well together in this aspect. They aren’t afraid to go to the deep end and thats where art is made.

You have to first make art for yourself and hope that it resonates with your people and when it does I imagine that’s a special feeling knowing that at least some people get what you’re trying to say.

52 notes · View notes

gayenerd · 4 years ago

Text

Interview with Billie for the Kerrang Yearbook. Sounds like this took place around 2000-2001?

Hello Billie Joe. A bit pissed at the Kerrang Awards weren't you? "I was drinking with Papa Roach the night before. Everybody went to see The Cult in Brixton. All the American bands like Papa Roach and Queens Of The Stone Age were there. I felt terrible when I got out of bed to go to the Kerrang Awards." Who ended up worse off - you or Coby Dick? "Sometimes Coby can't even hold it together when he's sober! He's super-hyper all the time. You have to say, 'Coby, turn it off for 2 minutes - I'm in my bunk!' Then he'll turn it off and you can get into a decent conversation." You experienced some difficulty in getting off the stage after accepting your Kerrang Award. "Award's shows freak me out - I'm so scared shitless of those things so I end up doing stupid things. I never theought I'd ever win an award for playing music. Watching all our videos being shown up on the screen, I just looked at Mike and Tre and said. 'Does this mean we're old now?' I can be such a self-conscious freak. I just don't know how to be cool." What's the healthiest thing you've done this year? "I like to keep myself fit. I run, I skateboard, and i'll hit the weights every other day. You reach a certain age when you've gotta start looking out for yourself. I'm staring down the barrel of 30, you know? My dad really let himself fall to @#%$ and I don't want to end up like that. Theres a preconcieved idea about musicians and punk musicians in particular that we have to self-destruct, and I can't buy into that. I like to breathe. Like like it when my heart beats - Its a really cool thing." Have you cut down on your drinking recently? "When i'm on tour I drink all day long with the guys. There's nothing else to do. But i've been at homea while. There are many, many moods to Billie Joe. There's drunk me and theres not-drunk me." What have you learned about being a father during the past year? "You learn new things every day as your kids' characters and personalities are building. Joey is 6 now, he's not a baby at all, he's a little boy. And Jacob, who's 3, is a maniac. The one rule I have is that I never expose them to television." What have you learned about Tre and Mike this past year? "Wow (long pause). I learned that Mike is a Bob Dylan fan, which was kind of suprising. I'm not the biggest fan but I definately appreciate Bob Dylan. And Tre is becoming really fluent in Spanish. His wife is Nicaraguan." What color has your hair been this year? "I shaved my head when I got off the road. Its been black. I haven't really been changing it. When the boy groups started dyeing their hair, I had to stop." Any fashion tips you'd care to pass on to Kerrang readers? "I've been wearing the same pants since High School! Never been into the Versace thing." Best punk rock song you've heard this year? "Last Nite by The Strokes. They're not really a punk band, but those guys have a really cool outlook and a good sensibility about how they present themselves. All the rap rock metal bands have lost that rock'n'roll element, and i'm just a sucker for good rock'n'roll music." What song has been stuck in your head this year, even though you hate it? "Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. It was bad when Michael Jackson sang it, but it's even worse second time around! Y'know, I think Michael Jackson should join Slipknot. His face looks so bizarre now, its like he's wearing a mask." Are Slipknot still the scariest dudes in rock? "In about a year from now, if they're still as popular as they are now, they'll be as American as apple pie. That's sort of what happened to Marilyn Manson. When he came out he was really scary looking, like 'Jesus Christ! This guy is a maniac!' But now its, 'Oh, theres Marilyn, mowing the lawn, no big deal.' I like Manson, but it's funny how the most normal people end up being the most threatening, and the people who are scariest at first end up kinda normal. That's the dissapointing thing about shock value. Neil Young is more threatening than Slipknot just because he's smarter and has more of an opinion." How much fun did you have on tour in 2001? "It's really exciting at first because you're in different places every day, but after a while i'd rather be home. I get into really long conversations with my wife, I talk to my kids a lot, I'll write little notes and draw pictures for them and fax them to the house. Our sets are getting longer, sometimes we'll play up to three hours, and its because there is no rock'n'roll lifestyle for me other than that. I'm a devoted husband and a devoted father, and so all that decadent bullshit is not my thing. You start to wonder, 'Is this the life for me?' But then I get home and I dont know what the @#%$ to do with myself because i'm not playing music. People have looked at us and gone, 'Obviously these guys have no place to go after the gig because they're still on stage!'" Where were you on September 11? "I was on West Coast time, so it was really early in the morning for me. I saw the towers fall, and it felt like the world was gonna end. What amazes me is that Tony Blair is almost heading the coalition by himself! Does he realise what he's getting his country into? This is @#%$ serious! There's been a lot of shocking words used: the 'crusade against terrorism'. The las thing you say to someone from the Middle East is the word 'crusade'." After September 11, do you share America's renewed sense of patriotism? "No way. I can't really see myself as a patriot. I don't see what happened in New York as an act of war, it's an act of terrorism. Every country has had to deal with terrorism in some form, and this is the first time America has ever seen it and they dont know what to do, so everyone is clinging to these war slogans. All the flags is people's cars and homes - it just seems kind of gross to me." Has American learnt from the tragedy? "I hope some good stuff comes out of this. People have become so self-absorbed and dedicated to their careers. I'm not a person to wave a flag for family values or anything like that, but there comes a time when your relationships and your family is the most important thing, not whether you're making $100,000 every year. Thats what I hope comes out of it - that people realise the important things in life." Six Of The Best Best Friend: " Valium. Lots of plane flights, man. Valium only lasts four hours, so if you're on an 11 hour flight take two and a half." Best advice: "Put your head between your knees if you think you are gonna pass out." Best Ass: "Tre Cool. Not only because he has one, but because he is one." Personal Best: The pinnacle moment for me this year, musically, was playing Reading. It was a great show. There's so many bands nowadays who can't play live, but to actually do it and have people singing along and getting something sentimental out of it at the same time, thats rare, and we achieved that at Reading." Best Night Out: "The furst night I went out after september 11. I really went for it. American has these feelings of its days being numbered. It's like a country that has just got cancer, but the cancer's in remission. A lot of people are doing all the things they've always talked about doing. I hadn't partied really hard in a while, so that's what I did. I went to a couple of bars with Mike and Tre and our producer. We got loud and had a good time." Best Buy: " My cellphone. The ring tone is just a goofy tune. And it vibrates well in my pocket."

#article #articles #interview #billie joe armstrong #green day

37 notes · View notes

randomoranges · 4 years ago

Text

a million yrs ago i drew an art with the wheel. and there was a fic for an au and i was like theres another part thats not au

i never got around to it - didn’t really know how to go about it really

and then the other night this idea came to flirt with me and it had more banter but i still dont know how to plug my brain into a word doc so that convos that play in my head can happen on “paper”

anyways; yes i over use same themes over and over and over again :)

Ferris Wheel Summer 2021+

“So,” Edward started as they rounded the corner and had a clear view of the Ferris wheel, “How many times have you been on it since it opened?” He asked his boyfriend, joking tone and all. It was a bright sunny summer day and a walk around town had inevitably led them into the Old Port.

“Honestly? Probably a lot less than you think – I’ve only been on it once,” Étienne told him with a shrug.

“You got me; that is less than I thought, but you mean to tell me that you haven’t taken any of your hot dates on a romantic ride on the Ferris wheel?” Edward waggled his eyebrows for show and Étienne laughed, but crinkled his nose at the thought of doing such a thing.

“Nah – it’s too much for a casual thing – too loaded. The whole get to the top and stop, romantic vibes abound and such. Ferris wheel is either for families, tourists or couples. Maybe a group of friends, but it depends.” He declared as though a study had been made on the fact and he had spent hours studying these factors.

“All right, so you’re not a tourist, I doubt you came here with your brothers, last I heard you’re not in a relationship with anyone else – who’d you come with?”

“You’re right on all accounts, but you forgot I have a sister. El and I came on opening day,” He admitted, if a little sheepish.

“Of course you were here on opening day,” Edward said with a roll of his eyes. How silly of him to think that the Maisonneuve twins wouldn’t have been here on the inauguration of the wheel, when they were known to be at every opening of every new thing in the city – especially new, in vogue things. “But also, that’s sweet.” He added. He’d always thought it was nice how close Étienne and Élyse were and how even though they didn’t always agree and had different opinions on literally everything; their love for their city prevailed and they found time to enjoy it together. Edward tried to picture himself doing something of the likes with his own sister and nearly laughed. This would not have been the type of thing he and Edith would have done together, but then again, their relationship was different. Maybe it was a twin thing.

They fell quiet and kept walking closer to the wheel, strolling down the boardwalk in front of it. It was nice to see the waterfront busy again and filled with locals and tourists alike after the emptiness that had befallen it in recent years due to the pandemic. In a sense, it reassured Edward that if anything, this part of the city was recovering and that Étienne would still have this.

They stopped at a clearing and leaned against the railing to observe the wheel and the small plaza around it and it was nice to listen to the bird song and the excited chatter of the people around them, while below, others peddled on rented pedal boats.

“We should go,” Edward said after a while, breaking the silence.

“Now?” Étienne asked to be sure he was hearing right, surprised, really, that Edward would suggest going.

“No, next Tuesday – yes now, come on. We’re here, I’ve never been, and I can tell you’d want to go on it again.”

Edward smirked and Étienne closed his mouth, letting his comment die at his lips. His boyfriend had a point. He did actually want to go on it again, but going on it alone seemed a little silly and Emma hadn’t really wanted to ride the wheel. Bringing a fling had seemed like too much – as though he was trying to impress when really, they were both in it for something much different and less lasting. However, Edward was his boyfriend and – he had thought of bringing him out here. On more than one occasion. (But there had been a pandemic and then they had done other things on Edward’s last visit and there hadn’t been time for this.)

Now, however...

Edward grabbed Étienne’s hand and led him over the footbridge and to the small line. Étienne tried hard not to trip over the fact that Edward had willingly and without prompting reached out for his hand and then reverted to his usual “tour guide” information dump as he blabbered on about the finer points of the wheel, the design, the great features about it and the overall charm it had in this location. Edward thought it was utterly endearing and loved it when his boyfriend went into his excited chatter about different aspects of his city. He could hear the passion and love Étienne had for his home and it made some part of his heart melt. He’d missed this, over their break – missed the palatable excitement Étienne had and could have – the way his face lit up and his hands moved around as he gesticulated.

“Bonjour, deux billets s’il-vous-plait.”

Étienne blinked and realised that he’d been distracted with his ramble to the point where Edward had snuck ahead of him and had now taken out his wallet to pay for the tickets.

“Édouard.” Étienne cautioned, “What are you doing?” He wasn’t about to have his boyfriend pay, not when this was an extremely splurgy thing and highly unnecessary.

“Buying our tickets, move over,” He nudged Étienne out of the way and managed to extract his credit card from his wallet, without Étienne ripping it out of his hands.

“What – no, let me. We’re in Montreal. I pay for things in Montreal.”

Edward looked him dead in the eyes as he tapped his card on the terminal, much to Étienne’s horror and shock. This was betrayal of the highest degree.

“This is not part of our deal!”

“Curly, we have no such deal.” Edward replied calmly as he took the tickets from the teller and thanked them, “Now, come along, you can pay for ice cream later.” Edward put his wallet away and then moved ahead, pleased with his little plan.

“Who said anything about ice cream?” Étienne squawked as he followed Edward to the next line to get onto the Ferris wheel.

“I did – you can take me afterwards.”

Étienne tried to protest, but Edward took his hand again and led him to the railing to get to their Ferris wheel gondola. Étienne tried to pout and be annoyed, but his giddiness over being here with Edward quickly won out as they took their seats side by side.

“See, these are high tech gondolas. You can fix your own temperature and either put the AC or the heating on, weather depending, and you get really nice views once you’ve gained some height.” His previous annoyance was quickly forgotten and Edward silently congratulated himself as Étienne’s previous mood returned.

“Shall we put the heating on?” Edward teased as the doors closed and the gondola started moving quietly.

Étienne rolled his eyes, “It’s summer; I’m good. We can put the AC on if it’s too hot for you. Wouldn’t want you to melt.”

“We can compromise,” Edward said, rolling his eyes, fond, as he adjusted the dials so that they would both be comfortable, but if it was a degree or two on the cold side so that Étienne had an extra excuse to sit close to Edward, well, that was between them.

They settled in afterwards and Edward took in the multiple angles of the view. “Are we supposed to make-out when we get inevitably stuck on the top, or...?” He asked as the wheel quietly turned, a gentle seamless whirring in the background.

“Only if you want and you don’t think it’s too cliché.”

Edward studied him for a moment as Étienne looked at him and then busied himself with the window. Even after knowing him for so long, Étienne could still be an enigma, but Edward liked to think that he had gotten quite good at deciphering him. For as much as his boyfriend claimed he didn’t do romance, Edward had finally found out that it had been a cover – to protect himself from his own difference – from his own way he felt and reacted to romantic attraction. It made sense now, retrospectively, and they’d talked about it, but knowing that and now knowing how it was Étienne felt about him, Edward could tell that there were certain “typical things” Étienne still wanted to do with him – even if they were considered to be a “cliché”.

If anything, Edward thought it was endearing and even if he wasn’t the most outward of people when it came to expressing his emotions and love, he didn’t mind the idea of a kiss or two at the top of the wheel. There was no one else around them anyways. They never needed to tell anyone, if they so desired.

But those were thoughts for later and for now, Edward focused on the view surrounding him.

Étienne hadn’t been lying (not that he would have expected him to); the views were stunning. The canal hugged one side of the island, cradled it close and separated it from the two manmade islands that had been the crown jewels of Expo. Edward remembered that time fondly, even if it still seemed like a hectic fever dream, but there had been a bustle in the air of the city that had left everyone dreaming and hungering for a better future. They had been exciting times full of promise, somehow, and looking back, he thought he could still feel the remnants of that frenzy – still lingering in the air, caught in small glimpses on occasions. Now there were only a few buildings left, prestigious in their own ways, and they added to the charm and attraction of the city, nestled safely in their own spots of the picturesque postcard view.

Behind, the Clock Tower stood proud and erect, a beacon of the past that guided tourists and city folk alike to come and admire its beauty. Further away still, if Edward turned on his seat, the Jacques Cartier bridge connected Montreal to the South shore, while it looked over the brilliant turquoise greens of the water on a sunny day. Sometimes, if the light hit just right, Edward could swear he saw a mirrored image in Étienne’s own eyes and he would feel pulled in – lured in and he’d willingly go – every time.

The wheel completed its first turn and there was still much he hadn’t properly looked at. The Old Port came into view and then panned out as the wheel gained height once more. From above, he could see how the original village – the original city of Montreal had fought floods, fires and winters alike to survive and expand. The original building blocks may have been safely buried underneath their feet and preserved lovingly in Pointe-à-Callière, but the true spirit of the city – the heart of it really – of what it had been and had become lay further ahead, ensconced and treasured in the heart of the mountain that had guided and sheltered many for so long. There, really, was the essence, he believed.

It happened on the third turn. The wheel came to a gentle stop at the top and Étienne leaned closer to one of the sides to get a better look at the waterfront, the bridge, the Biosphere in the back and the bustle of activity below them, mesmerised in what he saw. “It’s really something from this angle...” He murmured, almost as if to himself.

And Edward had to take a small step back to take in the fuller picture before him. The gentle smile splayed out on Étienne’s face was a sight to behold on itself and the way his boyfriend’s face relaxed as he took in the scenery pulled at his heart. Edward could read, even from here, the pride and joy Étienne felt in seeing his own people mingling about and how that tiny little village from before had evolved over the centuries – had thrived despite all odds. Here was where one part of the story had started and further ahead was its origin point, but Étienne was all of that – the element that brought it all together.

It hadn’t always been easy and Edward knew of the struggles Étienne had gone through, but the soft look on his face was worth it and a look he hoped Étienne could carry more often than not. He wordlessly reached for his boyfriend’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as they both quietly took in their own different views.

“It really is,” He agreed, “It really is,” He repeated, softer.

Étienne did the mistake of turning to look back at him and Edward was left speechless by the depth of green he saw in Étienne’s eyes; lured and pulled in once more, like always. Étienne gave him the softest of smiles and Edward swore that the butterflies he felt in his stomach were real; that the swooping feeling he always got when Étienne smiled at him was here to stay.

He tugged himself closer, pulled gently on Étienne’s hand until they were closer and then caressed his boyfriend’s cheek. Edward’s hand was certain and warm, and Étienne leaned closer to him still, holding him, not wanting to let go just yet.

“I love you,” Edward thought, pressing his lips to Étienne’s as the Ferris wheel started its descent. And maybe Étienne heard his thoughts, for the look on his face when they pulled away was open and loving. He looped his arms around Edward’s neck, laughing softly, before going for another kiss and then a third and a fourth.

He didn’t know what it was about the circular form of the gondola – the safety of the bubble that gave them both an illusion of being in a safe enclosure, but it made Edward just a little more daring as he chased a kiss across his boyfriend’s lips and it made Étienne cherish the moment even more.

FIN

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #fic #projocanondoko

6 notes · View notes

odysseyeight · 5 years ago

Note

A haunted college? That sounds interesting!

Yep. My college opened in 1866 and theres a set of highly active train tracks that cut through campus. Theres been a lot of shit that's happened here since 1866, plenty of time for spirits to make themselves comftly.

Supposedly one of the dorm buildings is haunted by a girl who died on the tracks because she got hit.

We have a campus ghost tour during family weekend every year.

The music building, where I spend most of my time, definitely has some skeletons in its closets. I know a few of the practice rooms for sure have weird activity. Some people opened a Ouija session in one a couple times and never closed it properly. I spend every Thursday in the piano lab with a friend, and theres a printer in that room. The printer is broken. Like...does not work. Does not turn on. Cannot be used. Whatever right. But like...it makes sounds. And does things. Its NOT plugged in. We have checked. But it turns on and makes sounds every time we're in there at night.

Theres a far out parking lot in a field in an obscured corner of campus thats built above/near unmarked graves. Theres a farm RIGHT there that way back when was a slave owners farm, and they buried their dead in unmarked graves in that field. There was also apparently native american blood spilled there as well. Campus is working on putting up a formal monument in the area. We're told to not be too afraid out that way, and that if we can feel some kind of spiritual energy out there, that they most likely aren't trying to cause harm. I try to be respectful and to pay attention to them when i visit that lot, in case they ever make themselves known and apparent.

Lots of the campus houses have spiritual occurrences from what i understand. The LGBTQ house has a ghost who likes to hang around. Lately he's been playing piano.

Theres been a fair number of people hit and killed on the train tracks. We have a bridge going over them so students arent tempted to try crossing illegally and potentially getting killed. Last semester someone was hit and killed but they weren't a student here.

Theres also just a lot of liminal spaces on my campus. I've talked about them before but there's a LOT. I can probably get some pictures upon request.

Im a freshman so I've only been here for a semester and a half, give or take, so I'm sure there's more. But that's a general idea.

205 notes · View notes

larryssunflower · 4 years ago

Text

The Non-Royal Romance, season two, part one

last part of season 1 teaser trailer masterlist

(really bad) summary: TRR AU where MC (Alana Rhys) is the now queen of Cordonia, and Liam was part of the suitors in line to marry her. Drake Walker is Alana’s personal bodyguard, and as the season goes on, their feelings for each other only get stronger. After an assassination attempt during the coronation ball, Alana’s mother announces without her consent that she will marry Liam, to both Drake and Alana’s dismay. This season is dedicated to Alana’s and Liams engagement tour, and what will happen as it goes on

pairing: Drake Walker x MC x Liam (kinda)

tagging- @ravenpuff02 @simplyaiden-blog @msjr0119 @butindeed @mfackenthal @axwalker @choices-lurker @american-duchess @drakelover78 @monosodiumglutamateme @crookedslimecreatorpasta @mrsdrakewalkerblog @traeumerinwitzhelden @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty @agent-zephyrkah @liam-rhys-x-mc-x-constantine @snyggflicka @texaskitten30 @annekebbphotography @irishwhiskys-blog @nomadics-stuff @catlady0911 @twinkle-320 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalker04 @bigmemesplz @jovialyouthmusic @sleepwalkingelite @pintobomb @moneyfordiamonds @mskaneko @lauzales @princessleac1 @kingliam2019

----

*six months after the coronation ball*

These past few months have been difficult, I’m not going to lie. I’ve spent the majority of my time living in the Beaumont manor, recovering my shoulder and having well deserved space from my mother. Luckily the interactions I have had with Liam have been brief, I can’t bring myself to act like I’m in love with him because he thinks I actually chose him and I don’t have the balls to tell him he wasn’t my choice. No one knows that it was my mother’s decision and I’m in love with my former bodyguard. The perfect Queen huh?

I haven’t seen Drake since the incident. It was so perfect for that short span of time where he loved me back and we were finally together. But that changed... thanks to my mother. My memory is still hazy due to the pain medication and all I remember is the incident on tv, falling asleep at one point with Drake by my side, and waking up and he was gone. My mom said he just up and left.

I don’t blame him if I’m being honest. Who would want to be with this train wreck? I sigh, running my hands through my dirty hair. I know it’s pathetic, but I haven’t really been taking care of myself recently. I started getting night terrors, every time I’m in that ballroom, my friends and family being slaughtered around me, time and time again and I can’t do anything to help them. Maxwell always wakes me up with a hug, holding me as I sob in his arms.

We still haven’t found who orchestrated the assassination attempt. It’s not easy when your country is relatively peaceful with very few enemies.

I trace my fingers over my scar on my shoulder. My doctor said it could take up to a year to function normally again. Thank god it’s not fatal, but the psychological toll hasn’t been easy. I can’t help this horrible feeling of guilt every time I think about the ball. They were there to kill me, and harmed my friends to get there. Who knows what else they will do to get to me or my friends the second time?

I let out a breath shakily, looking out the window. Theres no point thinking like that. That’s all I have been doing, stressing over things I can’t control.

All I know is that the engagement tour is starting tonight, and I have to speak to people again. I have to spend time with Liam, try to pretend to be in love, try to pretend that I’m not falling apart. I have to do this without Drake by my side. A horrible feeling pangs in my stomach anytime I think about him. I lost the one person I have ever felt this way about and maybe its a good thing. It wasn’t fair to him, our whole relationship- if you could call it that.

I eventually drag myself into a well-needed shower, letting the hot water melt away the tension in my back. I don’t have a choice anymore, all I can do is try to do my best tonight. That’s all I can do.

—-

I wake up, and immediately look to my left. Drake isn’t there. I frown, sitting up in my uncomfortable hospital bed, ignoring the pain in my shoulder and looking around. “Drake?” I ask, hoping he’s just in the other room. The door opens and my mom walks in, looking somber. A wave of anger flows over my body as I remember what she did. “Where is he.” I demand, my chest tight. She looks at me for a moment, not saying anything. “Where. is. he.” I demand harshly, making her sigh as I stare at her, my heart pounding.

“I didn’t want to tell you this way, but he’s gone.” My mother says much too simply, her everlasting sense of disapproval emulating from her gaze. Tears spring to my eyes as I digest what she said. “G-Gone?” I ask, swallowing thickly. My mother nods, walking over and sitting delicately on my bed. “Once you had fallen asleep, He left the room. I tried to ask him where he was going but he just said ‘I can’t do it anymore’ and walked away without a second glance.” She explains, making my heart break. Tears pool and spill onto my cheeks. I look down at my blurry hands which have began shaking.

“I’m so sorry honey,” My mother says, trying to hold my hand. I yank it away from her, fuming. “Don’t touch me.” I grit through my teeth, my conflicting feelings of anger, abandonment, loss, and love waging a war inside of me. “I can’t believe you! how could you do this to my life? Leave! please,” I beg, my voice shaking embarrassingly. My mother closes her mouth, pressing her lips together. “So be it.” She says, monotone. She gets up, and walks out the door.

I fall back against my pillow, tears pouring out of my eyes.

He’s gone.

—-

I brush my now soft, clean hair, and watch as it falls gently on my shoulders. My baby pink dress is form fitting, the straps thick enough to hide the scar on my shoulder. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Not sure if that’s really true, because I haven’t seen Drake in six months but... he is not out of my mind. It hurts more knowing that he probably doesn’t even care about me, especially since he walked out when it got rough and has probably moved on when all i do is think about him.

I watch my door open in the reflection of my mirror, my mother walking in. “You clean up well hon,” My mother says, her hopeful smile on that face. She has been trying really hard to make it up to me. “Thanks,” I say quietly, looking down at my clasped hands, my heavy, expensive ring on my left hand. The ornate gold ring pairs with a large crystal clear diamond, surrounded by smaller diamonds in a teardrop shape. Its beautiful, but feels foreign. Liam brought it to me in the hospital a couple weeks after Drake left. My mother was watching carefully as I smiled and accepted the ring, giving Liam a kiss in thanks. The next day, a picture of me in my hospital bed and Liam presenting his ring to me was all over the gossip news and magazines. My mother pretended to be outraged but I knew she set it up. She’s a smart diplomat, I’ll give her that. She always knows what she’s doing.

“Tonight’s the big night! Your first event as Queen!” My mother says enthusiastically, and I nod absentmindedly, fiddling with the ring. I haven’t worn it since the day in the hospital, and it’s just been sitting on my bedside table, collecting dust and eating away at my stomach. My mother sighs. “Why can’t you be happy? Will you ever forgive me?” She asks, and I look up at her in the mirror, my expression unchanged. “I’ve told you many times how you could earn my forgiveness and respect back.” I say, referencing a past conversation we had, keeping my voice flat and even. My mother purses her lips. “Well then. I’ll see you tonight at the party. Stay presentable,” My mother orders, before swiftly turning away, stalking out the door. I scoff, shaking my head.

—-

(Drake’s p.o.v)

I clench my jaw, punching the bag in front of me repeatedly. All my anger, regret, and frustration pouring out as I beat the punching bag, making it shake violently back and forth, it’s chain groaning.

I eventually stop, breathing heavily. I sigh, wiping the sheen of sweat off my forehead. All I can think about is her. As pathetic as that is. “You okay man?” the gym manager, Greg, asks. I nod, without looking up. “Yeah thanks, I’m fine,” I breathe, sitting down on the bench behind me, looking down as I unwrap my knuckles.

For a brief moment I’m back in that room, watching as she treats my fresh wounds, the light from the windows softly framing her beautiful face, whiskey flowing through my veins because that was the only way I could attempt to calm my nerves, being so close to her. I sigh, trying to push her from my mind.

She doesn’t want you anymore.

“Hey uh, someone’s here to see you,” Greg says, his tone shifted. I look up in confusion and see Alana’s mother standing behind him, clearly uncomfortable in the dingy gym. I stand up quickly, suddenly feeing self conscious about my sweaty gym clothes.

Greg senses the tension and tentatively walks away, giving us a strange look. I guess it’s not every day that one of his patrons is visited by the recently former Queen. I look back at Regina, anger building back up within me. “How can I help you, Your Majesty?” I ask turning my head to the side, my nose flaring angrily. She blinks. “I deserve that,” she admits, looking down at the dingy floor. “I came here with a proposition for you,” She says, looking back up at me, making me furrow my brow in confusion.

—-

(Alana’s p.o.v)

“You got this Al, I know you do.” Maxwell reassures me, his eyes kind. I smile, “Thanks Max,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I know you’ve had a tough couple months, but you may as well try to have a good time tonight,” Maxwell says, and I nod. We start to walk out of my room and down the hall, Maxwell’s arm slung around my shoulders. “We can get drunk just like old times,” Maxwell laughs in my ear, making me laugh. “Oh those were the days,” I sigh contently, my good friend making me smile.

We laugh as we make our way to the main entryway, separating as we walk down the stairs. I look up at the sound of the front doors opening and stop in my tracks. In walks in my mother and...Drake?

A wall of emotion hits me so hard, I feel as though I could fall over. The man I love, the man I swear to at night, the man who broke my heart, standing just a few feet away from me, in a frustratingly handsome navy suit, avoiding my eye contact.

“I got your bodyguard back, now, let’s leave before we are late to your engagement party,” My mother says, a satisfied smile on her face. I snap back to reality, nodding wordlessly. I walk down the stairs, not being able to look Drake in the eyes. As I pass him through the doorway, I feel his hand on my lower back, guiding me through. Chills spread over my arms and I keep walking, my face burning in embarrassment. I feel like a spoiled child whose parent forced some child to be my friend. I can’t believe she remembered.

Five months ago my mother asked how she could earn my forgiveness, and I simply said ‘bring him back’.

I step into the back of our black SUV, Maxwell following behind me. My mother gets into her own car with her bodyguard, and Drake sits up front with the driver. I can feel Max’s gaze on mine, but I don’t look at him, my stomach fluttering unpleasantly. I’m not eager to see the expression of my good friend’s face. I’m torn between being overjoyed that the man I love is so close to me again, and angry because that same man broke my heart six months ago. How can he just sit there, no emotion, after what he did? How much is my mother paying him? I cringe, looking out the window, waiting until we arrive.

—-

Our cars pull up onto the gravel drive, the Amaranth Manor glittering in the warm night. Home to one of the Cordonia most notable noble family, their daughter being Madeline. I only met on her on a couple of occasions- she’s... not my taste.

The cars roll to a stop just in front of the large doors, my nerves fluttering. I haven’t been in public like this in so long. My car door opens, and for the fist time in six months, I make direct eye contact with Drake. Just like that, all my reservations and cautiousness is out the window, replaced with the familiar feeling of overwhelming love and longing for Drake. A feeling I’ve tried to ignore for these past months that I just can’t hold it back anymore.

I get lost in those warm, brown, beautiful eyes, butterflies erupting in my stomach. I force myself to look away, gulping nervously. I take a deep breath, take his hand, and step down off the SUV. The manor is lit up with warm lights, music playing loudly through the french doors which are open wide for the warm summer air. I look over and see two men waiting for me one of whom is Liam, the other, I don’t recognize. Liam grins, walking over and enveloping me in an embrace. I smile, hugging him back. He kisses my cheek as he pulls away, his eyes twinkling in the moonlight. “So nice to see you again babe,” He says, and I grin. “Yes it is,” I smile. Liam turns, gesturing for the other man to walk over.

“This is my brother, Leo. He’s joining us on our tour,” Liam explains. “Ah, so nice to meet you!” I exclaim, holding out my hand. Leo takes it, placing a kiss on my knuckles. “It’s my pleasure Your Majesty,” Leo says in a smooth voice. I smile politely, and we head over to the entrance. I glance over my shoulder, spotting Maxwell throwing his arm over Liam, talking pleasantly with his friend, and Drake, following behind.

We enter the main ballroom, where many of the suitors form last season are, now with women of nobility. I feel slightly intimidated as we walk in, and they go nearly quiet. We are announced and the voices start up again, louder this time. Liam and I start getting bombarded by nobles, ready to congratulate us on our engagement. We maneuver through the party, my jeweled hand resting on Liam’s arm, in clear view. Drake trails behind us, but I try not to think or look at him, not sure how I will react. I get many compliments on my ring from noble women, many of whom will be my bridesmaids, even though I barely know any of them.

Hours into the party and a couple noble women stand out, like the extremely nice woman Hana Lee, the bubbly Penelope Ebrim, the cultured french woman Kiara Theron, and of course, Madeline. “Step-Cousin! So nice to see you,” Madeline says in a hard-to-tell but definitely fake smile. “Lovely to see you as well! Thank you for hosting,” I smile back. She studies me for a moment, before turning to Liam. “Liam. It’s been a while, you look well,” Madeline says, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. “You too Madeline,” Liam grins. She looks at him for a moment, before turning to me.

“Looking forward to the wedding? I bet it will be just lovely,” Madeline says, an edge to her voice. What is her problem? “Yeah definitely! Um- would you two excuse me for a moment? I think I just need some fresh air,” I say, and they both nod. “Are you okay?” Liam asks quietly, his hand on my forearm. I nod with a smile, gently releasing myself from his grip. “Yes! I’ll be right back,” I say cheerfully, kissing his cheek quickly, before turning and making my way through the ballroom and out one of the open doors, into the secluded garden. I walk for a bit in the quiet, until I’m far enough to be out of sight from the party, and sit down on a stone bench outside. I sigh, a feeling of relief washing over me, happy to finally be alone again.

I honestly forgot the stress of being a noble - and now I’m Queen. god, what have I gotten myself into?

I suddenly hear a branch break, and whip my head to see Drake, standing just a bit away from me. I sigh. “Why did you follow me?” I ask, feeling an overwhelming sense of exhaustion from the situation. He sighs. “I’m just trying to do my job.” Drake says, shifting uncomfortably. I nod slightly, looking down.

After a moment, Drake talks again, “I don’t know why you wanted me back as your bodyguard, you seemed like you were done with us.” He says quietly. I scoff, standing up indignantly, facing him. “Excuse me? I was the one who was done? Last time I checked, you were the one who walked out,” I say angrily, glad I walked far enough from the crowded party to have privacy.

Drake looks at me, clear confusion in his face. “You didn’t want me with you. Your mother made me leave when- when it happened. After you fell asleep she told me that you were done with us, that you couldn’t take it anymore. You forced me out of your life, I didn’t walk out.” Drake explains, his annoyingly calm voice just making me more confused.

“But my mom told me...” I stop, my heart pounding. I look up at Drake, who is staring back at me, his eyes wide. It starts to click. Why did I just trust what my mom said after what she did? His Adam’s apple bobs up and back down. “You didn’t want me to leave did you?” He asks quietly. I shake my head. “You didn’t give up on me?” I ask, gulping. He nears me. “No. never. You have no idea how much I fought. I was at the hospital every day, trying to find a way to see you, to change your mind. Eventually they threatened me with arrest. The next day, you were moved to another hospital. I kept trying, I didn’t stop, as much as I probably should have. You have no idea how many stupid gossip magazines I bought just to get any information about you, to see if you were okay,” Drake says with a chuckle, making me snort at the picture of Drake buying gossip magazines, my stomach fluttering with happiness. He didn’t give up on us.

We look at each other for a moment, just staring. “I missed you,” I say softly, my voice cracking. Something breaks within Drake and he pulls me towards him, embracing me tightly. I sigh, melting into his familiar arms, clinging onto his shoulders. He buries his face into my neck, making me sigh with content. Something I haven’t felt for months. I curl my fingers in his hair, pulling gently. After a moment, he pulls away from the embrace, his eyes scanning my face.

In a second, our lips are connected. It’s hesitant at first, still unsure, our mutual feelings of hurt still lingering between us. I let out a small moan, the feeling of his lips on mine intoxicating after months of feeling nothing. I clearly did something right, because Drake groans, pulling me closer than imagined, his hands roaming up and down my sides. All these months of to re-living our kisses in the middle of the night could not have prepared me for how I feel in this moment. My heart soaring, my nerves on fire, wanting- no begging- for more contact.

Once my lungs are burning for air, we break apart, breathing heavily. “God, I missed you too,” Drake says, his voice an octave lower than usual, making my heart swoop into my stomach. God, how does he have such an impact on me? Just his deep voice makes me want to jump his bones. I gulp, looking up at him. “What now?” I ask, and he looks down. “Honestly? I’m not sure,” He says quietly.

I bring my hand up, caressing his cheek, making him look up at me. He blinks, looking deeply into my eyes. “All I know is that I can’t lose you again. I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with this engagement situation, but I will never give up on us.” I say with every fiber in my being, hoping he understands my sincerity. He nods, a strange look in his eyes. Before I can question him, my phone goes off. I look down to see a text from Liam, asking me where I am.

I sigh, a feeling of guilt creeping up on me. Just because I don’t want to be with Liam doesn’t mean I want to hurt him. “What is it?” Drake asks, and I sigh. “I have to get back in there, as much as I wish I could stay out here with you,” I say, longing to stay forever with Drake, never having to leave his side again. His face falls slightly, before he smiles. “Hey, at least we figured this out. It was hard thinking that you didn’t want me for six months,” Drake says, making me smile. “Yeah, I’m glad we figured this out,” I say, and He looks at me for a moment, before swooping in, giving me a sweet kiss. I happily kiss back, before we both pull away.

“Time to go back in I guess,” I say, and He nods. We walk through the garden, back into the crowded party, my stomach still fluttering with butterflies after that kiss. Drake stays a good distance behind me, which is probably smart because if I could, I would never stop trying to touch or kiss him, which would be a bit concerning for the nobles, as they are at the engagement party for me and a different man. Leo, Liam’s brother pulls me aside gently. “Oh hi Leo,” I say, and he looks at me for a moment. “Did you enjoy your breath of fresh air?” He asks, making my stomach drop. He didn’t see did he? “Yeah, sometimes parties like this are suffocating and I just need a break,” I say, keeping my voice level.

Leo studies me for a mother moment, a sly smirk creeping onto his face. “hmm, I like you,” He says in a thoughtful way as I smile back, my heart pounding. Did he see me and Drake? “Thank you, I’m glad my future brother in law approves,” I say with a slightly nervous chuckle. I can’t figure Leo out, is he threatening me?

“Hey what’s up babe?” Liam asks, coming over to us, sliding a hand around my waist. I glance over to see Drake staring daggers at Liam’s hand. Funny how things never change. It makes me blush knowing Drake is protective over me. “Oh, nothing, just talking to your lovely brother,” I smile, clearly making Liam happy. “I’m glad! You two are very important to me,” He says, and we start a perfectly pleasant conversation.

The night moves on, we dance for a while, eat some appetizers, drink some champagne and before I know it, the party is over. I say goodbye to Liam, making my way to my assigned room away from him, which may have been orchestrated by my step-cousin, little does she know that’s my ideal scenario. Honestly she can try to steal Liam away, I’m not going to stop her.

Drake and I stop outside my door. “I guess I should try to get some sleep,” I say, and he nods. My tongue darts out to wet my lips nervously. “Do you want to come in?” I ask, my stomach bubbling with nerves. Drake looks down at me, a heat in his eyes. “I really shouldn’t Alana,” He says, and I nod. I bite my lip, thinking about how out-of-hand we could get. Probably not the best idea. “Okay then, goodnight,” I say, giving him a quick hug. He hugs back, kissing my cheek lightly, making my face heat up. He makes me feel like a schoolgirl, blushing over my crush kissing my cheek. So stupid. “Goodnight Your Highness,” he whispers, making me take in a sharp breath. He is really making this hard for me.

He releases me from the hug, leaning back, a satisfied grin on his face. I huff. “G-Goodnight,” I say, turning and going into my room, the stupid blush never leaving my face.

I change out of my dress and into pajamas and flop onto my bed, thinking about earlier. I‘m so frustrated that I actually believed my manipulative mother for so long. I feel like I betrayed him by believing her, but he believed her too I guess. I stare at the pale blue ceiling above me, thinking about the kiss. God, the way he pulled me closer. He has to know what he does to me. It’s honestly unfair at this point.

I naw at my bottom lip, butterflies fluttering inside me. I glance over to the door and see the edge of his shadow outside my door. My heart warms at the thought of being so close to him again. Before long, I drift off to sleep.

—-

I glance around, watching as everyone dances. The warm lights glow pleasantly, the music muffled, but nice. I smile as I see Max and Allie together, laughing. A feeling of warmth radiates through my body. I glance over and see Drake, smiling over at me. A strange feeling of familiarity falls over me slowly. Wait... This is the coronation ball, oh no.Suddenly, the warm lights go out. The ball is dark and suddenly a horrible cold feeling washes over me. I know what’s coming. No! I have to warn them! I try to scream, try to warn everyone to get down, but nothing will come out. I look down and see myself chained to a post, and feel the duck tape on my mouth.

The lights turn on again, and the assassins don’t hesitate opening fire on everyone. I scream as their bodies fall over, fighting with everything in me to be free, to help them. One near me turns, and aims and Drake. “No!” I try to say, nothing coming out. Drake just looks over at me in fear and then the assassin shoots him, making him collapse. I scream, thrashing against the binds, and suddenly, I’m in my room, and Drake is by my side, holding onto my shoulders, clearly concerned. I let out the largest sigh of relief, throwing my arms around him tightly. Tears fall out of my eyes and my shoulders shake as I sob in his arms. He holds me tightly, His body warmth calming me down. He just keeps whispering softly “it’s okay, you’ll be alright,” as I cry.

As soon as I start to calm down, I let go of my death grip on him, leaning back. “Are you alright?” He asks, deeply concerned. I sigh, calming my nerves. “Y-yes, I am now. Sorry since the ball I’ve had these horrible dreams...” I trail off, stopping before I cry again. He reaches out, brushing my hair from my face. “It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize to me, I know nightmares better than anyone,” He says, and I nod, remembering that night when I found him in his bed, screaming in his sleep. “I had no idea you had them now,” He says sadly, looking into my eyes. “Yeah, um- if I’m being honest, I’ve been a hot mess since the ball and then my ‘surprise engagement’,” I say bitterly, fumbling with my hands in my lap.

Drake rests his hand on mine, making me stop, looking up at him. “That makes two of us,” He says gently. My heart breaks thinking about Drake being just as heart-broken as me. “At least we’re in this together, right?” I say, and he nods, a small smile on his face. “Always.”

He stays by my side until I fall asleep.

--------------

-end-

I’m back! I know there’s a lot of crazy thing going on in the world right now which is horrible, but hopefully it will bring change with it! How did you guys like the first part? I love to hear your feedback ;) Thank you all for your support over the years now (crazy!) for this fic! It’s honesty hard for me to read earlier chapters, I feel like I’ve changed so much since the beginning haha. Anyway, I know this wasn’t the best part, but there are so many more exciting things I have planned! Again, thank you all for your support, if it wasn’t for all your kind words I would not have gotten so far! Love you all!

-Ella xx

#tnrr #The Non-Royal Romance #season two #part one #trr #the royal romance #choices #choices fanfiction #choices trr #mc x drake #drake walker #alana rhys #sorry liam #the non royal romance #playchoices fics #choices stories you play

58 notes · View notes

calumcest · 4 years ago

Text

i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back) - chapter one

[ao3]

have i ever mentioned my britpop au? i don’t think i have :) this is quite literally the definition of self-indulgence like genuinely this is so self-indulgent that it probably counts as a deadly sin and i have literally no justifications for it

before anybody comes for me for starting another chaptered fic: i have 50k of this lined up and i’m still going at the speed of light (as sam can attest to) fear not we’re going to get there with this one i promise also for anyone still waiting for the soulmate au thats going to get finished too once this is out of my system

i have an inordinate number of people to thank for putting up with me/this fic so let us begin: @tirednotflirting deserves every single ounce of praise and love i have to offer for reading this whole thing, listening to me talk about it, bouncing ideas with me, being so patient and kind about it, coming up with such brilliant ideas and for just generally being an all-round sweetheart. @calumftduke also deserves excessive praise and thanks for reading a big old chunk of this and being so sweet about it. @killingangels genuinely breathed life into this fic and cheered it on to the place it is today thank u for diving into a britpop phase with me. @ashesonthefloor and @clumsyclifford listened to me whine about this fic even though neither of them care and i truly owe them for that. @kaleidoscopeminds lets me thirst over the gallaghers but keeps me in my place about it which is truly the vibe check i need and also listened to me talk about this fic over the past few weeks and is just generally such a joy to speak to. i’m certain i’ve forgotten someone my brain has not been switched on in weeks now but anyone who’s listened to me talk about this over the past few weeks deserves a ticket straight to heaven honestly

quick bit of vocab: our kid is a term used by siblings in manchester. not sure why i don’t understand mancunian culture myself but the gallaghers are always saying it in interviews and my mancunian friend concurred that it is correct so idk what goes on up there

warnings: heavy drug use (its oasis and blur in the ‘90s theres a lot of coke/weed/alcohol) and lots of swearing (including the c word because they’re british)

He’s here, in England, not in Sydney, and he’s twenty, not seventeen. That was then, and this is now.

But for a moment - just for a few seconds - he could have sworn that then and now were the same thing. Just for one moment, he could have sworn he’d seen Michael Clifford.

or: calum's in oasis and michael's in blur and it's the height of the 1990s britpop war

Liam had once asked Calum if he believed in fate.

“D’you think it’s all real?” he’d said one day, out of the fucking blue. Calum, though, used to Liam beginning conversations in the middle after two long years of knowing him, had just looked at him.

“Do I think what’s all real?” he’d asked. Liam had indicated up at the sky with his eyes and cigarette.

“Fate, and all that,” he’d said, lifting the cigarette back to his lips. Calum had watched as his cheeks hollowed around it, turning potential answers over and over in his mind.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he’d said eventually, and Liam had raised his eyebrows and nodded as he’d exhaled a cloud of grey smoke that had blended in with the sky and the council houses.

Calum thinks he probably should have known then. Maybe Liam had been trying to make a point, in that strange way he sometimes does - what are the odds you’d end up here, with us? Calum hadn’t given it a second thought at the time, just rolled his eyes and nudged Liam’s foot with his own and said Noel’s going to do his fucking nut if we’re not there in ten, and that had been that. The conversation never even crossed his mind again until it was too late, until fate had already had her way with Calum.

In Calum’s defence, though, fate never showed her hand. She never threw him any hints, no flashing neon signs that said Calum, your destiny is this way. Fate came piecemeal, came in short snippets of conversations or flashes of familiar faces or, on occasion, Liam and Noel swearing loudly at each other as they stomp up the stairs in Calum’s house.

“I’m arsed,” Liam’s saying loudly, when he barges into Calum’s room. Noel’s hot on his heels, midway through a spiel he’s clearly prepared which Liam’s having none of, and he turns to Calum when they get through the door, an annoyed expression on his face.

“Tell him he’s a prick,” he says.

“Why?” Calum says, setting his magazine aside, because he needs to know what he’s supposed to be endorsing before he picks a side in an argument between the Gallagher brothers.

“Our kid wants us to miss the match tonight and go to some fucking gig,” Liam grumbles, throwing himself down on Calum’s bed and picking up his magazine.

“It’s not ‘some fucking gig’, Liam,” Noel says irritably. “It’s the fucking Boardwalk. We’ve got to hear what else is out there right now.”

“I told you, I’m fucking arsed what else is out there right now,” Liam says, flicking about five pages on from the article Calum had been in the middle of reading. “I don’t write the fucking songs, do I? Go on your fucking own. You’re a big boy, aren’t you?” Noel rolls his eyes and opens his mouth, and Calum’s Gallagher Explosion Incoming senses start tingling, followed swiftly by his Peacekeeping Skill Set activating.

“Look,” he says hurriedly, before Noel can say something that’ll lead to a couple of black eyes, mostly because neither of the brothers have ever cared much about collateral damage and Calum values his bruiseless skin. “What if we start the match, and if City look like they’re going to lose, we go to the gig?” Noel closes his mouth, and then opens it again, and then closes it again.

“Fucking whatever,” Liam grumbles, which is the closest they’re going to get to acquiescence from him. Calum stares at Noel beseechingly, because this is the best idea he’s got and pretty much the only one he thinks Liam’ll agree to, and Noel rolls his eyes, sighs dramatically, but then nods reluctantly.

“City won’t fucking lose,” he mutters, as he sits down in the chair at Calum’s desk. “Not to a bunch of Scousers.”

“Lost to Liverpool not four weeks ago,” Calum reminds him, and Noel scowls.

“That second goal was fucking offside,” he says.

“Ref was a fucking wanker,” Liam chimes in, from where he’s lying on Calum’s bed, still thumbing through the magazine. “‘Ere, what’s this, then?” he adds, with a grin, and turns the magazine around, tapping on the page. It’s a picture of a (very pretty) boy spread across a motorbike, and Calum rolls his eyes, snatching the magazine out of Liam’s hands.

“Fuck off,” he says, but Liam’s just laughing, head tipped back on the bed, all full lips and bright blue eyes and long, dark lashes. If Calum hadn’t been doing lines with Liam for half of last night, he could almost believe the angelic innocence the boy gives off.

“Looks like our kid,” Noel says, sitting down on the chair at Calum’s desk. Liam raises his head far enough to give Noel a two-fingered salute, but he’s still grinning, and Noel’s grinning too when he flips Liam off in return.

Fucking hell, Calum thinks. It’ll take more than his three O Levels to fucking understand those two.

-------

City end up conceding three goals in the first twenty-five minutes, and Liam’s the one who stands up, voice already hoarse from screaming at the TV, and demands they go out. Noel, never one to resist pressing buttons that only he can find on Liam, makes a snide comment about it, and Calum, to keep the peace, makes a comment about United, giving both brothers something to spend the entire bus journey to the Boardwalk ranting about.

Noel gets them in for free, because he knows someone who knows someone who’d been a roadie with a band who had been on tour with the Inspiral Carpets for like, half a second, or something. Calum doesn’t really care how they get in for free, whether Noel gets them in by knowing someone who knows someone or by hiring a hitman on the bouncer, as long as they do get in for free, because he’d rather save his money for weed.

The band that’s playing are immediately declared to be boring little fuckers by Liam, who beelines for the bar and only has to flutter his lashes twice before the pretty girl behind the bar sidles up to him with a coy look on her face. To his credit, though, he doesn’t linger after getting the drinks, weaving through the crowd to Noel and Calum with a mixture of shouted insults and threats at anyone in his path, three overfull pints balanced precariously in his hands.

“You’re paying me back for these,” is how he greets them again, taking a sip from Noel’s before handing it to him. Noel just rolls his eyes, turning back to the stage and raising the pint to his lips.

“Am I fuck,” Calum says, taking the other beer out of Liam’s outstretched hand. Liam scowls, but lets him take it, taking a sip from his own glass.

“I’ll just smoke your weed, then,” he says, like he doesn’t do that anyway. Calum just shakes his head and turns back to the stage, where a new band are setting up, fiddling with their amps and mic stands.

“D’you even know who these pricks are?” Liam asks Noel.

“Don’t even know if they’re worth knowing yet,” Noel says. Liam shrugs, like that’s a fair point, and then a squeal of feedback makes all three of them (and the rest of the crowd) jump, causing loud swearing from at least eight people in the vicinity as their drinks slosh over them.

“Fucking hell,” Noel mutters, shaking his hands off.

“Evening,” the lead singer says, voice deep and rich. “We’re Blur, and this is Popscene.” They immediately launch into something that’s all guitars and overdrive and beat, and Noel’s soon tapping his foot along in interest, spilled beer forgotten, as the singer starts jumping around enthusiastically. They’re not standing anywhere near the stage, and the distance and bright lights combined with the movement are making the singer look more translucent than opaque, which is making Calum’s head hurt. He chooses to focus on the bassist instead, because Noel’s kind of got a point that they should be listening to what else is around, although he’s probably just looking for more people to nick ideas off.

By the third song, though, Calum realises he’s really stood far too far away to get any benefit from watching the bassist - he can’t even tell whether he’s using a plectrum or not, and his eyes are already starting to hurt from squinting - and lets his gaze wander across the stage. There’s a guitarist wearing glasses, which Calum’s pretty sure Liam’s going to have a comment about that’ll involve the words ‘fucking’ ‘not’ and ‘rock ‘n’ roll’, with maybe ‘cunt’ chucked in for good measure. The drummer’s so far back that all Calum can make out is a shadowy figure behind the kit, and when the singer stands still long enough for Calum to see more than just a hazy figure all he can vaguely make out is what looks like very pretty features and blonde hair.

It’s the other guitarist, though, that makes Calum stop, his heart stilling in his chest for the briefest of moments.

He looks so familiar, messy blonde hair sticking up at all sorts of angles that Calum’s only ever seen on one other person, that it makes Calum’s stomach lurch. He’s got his face down, focusing on whatever they’re playing, so Calum can’t really see - not that he’d be able to tell from this distance, anyway - but there’s something that’s so achingly known to Calum that it makes him swallow, mouth suddenly dry. Even the guitarist’s posture is familiar, a little tense, a lot focused, with an edge of something cool and relaxed.

Calum’s so mesmerised by the guitarist, heart hammering in his chest, that he barely even realises three more songs have come to an end until the band all stop, gather together at the front of the stage and do an awkward half-bow-half-wave to the crowd. There’s a smattering of applause as they straighten up, and the lights are too bright for Calum to see properly, but he sees a flash of a smile that looks so much like one he hasn’t seen in almost four years that it makes something electric shoot through him before he’s even processed it, and then they’re turning around and heading off the stage.

“Fucking shite,” Liam says, over the sound of the crowd’s growing murmurs. “Would’ve rather watched City fucking lose.” They all know he’s lying. Liam’d probably rather cut off his limbs one at a time than sit at home to watch City get thrashed.

It reminds Calum where he is, though, as he takes a sip of his beer with slightly shaky hands. He’s in fucking Manchester, in a dingy bar with two of the biggest pricks he’s ever met in his life, watching shitty bands play mediocre songs to avoid having to watch his football team get massacred by Everton. It grounds him, shakes him out of it, makes him remember that he’s here, in England, not in Sydney, and he’s twenty, not seventeen. That was then, and this is now.

But for a moment - just for a few seconds - he could have sworn that then and now were the same thing. Just for one moment, he could have sworn he’d seen Michael Clifford.

-------

They stay to watch three more bands, and then Liam’s in a fucking mood and even Noel’s had enough of the music, so they head back to Noel’s flat to drink and get high. Liam and Noel bicker the whole way there, first about whether or not Liam should be paying for all the weed Noel buys that he smokes, then about whether or not Liam had actually slept over last night or whether he’d been at home, then about whether or not the shirt their mam had bought Noel for Christmas had been green or blue. Calum offers his input on all of them, siding with Noel twice and Liam once, but gets snapped at to shut the fuck up by the both of them each time, making him roll his eyes as he kicks stones along the pavement.

(“Noel’s a fucking cunt,” Liam had said to him once, fuming, after a particularly nasty argument that had ended in every bag of frozen peas being dug out of the freezer.

“Yeah,” Calum had said. “So are you, though, mate.”

“Don’t call my brother a cunt,” Liam had said, and Calum had rolled his eyes, picking up the now-defrosted bag of peas on the table and taking them back into the kitchen, where Noel was nursing his own black eye.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Noel had said furiously.

“You’re both twats,” Calum had said with a shrug, tossing the peas back in the freezer.

“Hey,” Noel had said sharply. “That’s my fucking brother.”

Calum’ll never pretend to understand them.)

They spend the night lying on Noel’s living room floor, pleasantly drunk and so stoned that Liam and Noel forget to argue for about three hours. Calum drifts in and out of sleep, listening to Liam and Noel mumbling to each other and remembering to speak once every twenty minutes or so, until Noel nudges him at what must be about five in the morning.

“What’d you reckon?” he says, looking thoughtful.

“About what?”

“That band, tonight.” They saw five bands, so Calum would be well within his rights to ask which one, but somehow, he knows.

“Good,” he says. “Interesting. Sounded new, y’know?”

“Yeah,” Noel says, rolling on his side to face Calum. He hums, like he’s thinking Calum’s words over. “Liam reckons they’re not rock ‘n’ roll enough.” Calum rolls his eyes.

“Liam reckons the fucking Stones aren’t rock ‘n’ roll enough,” he says, and Noel snorts, and it sounds so fucking ridiculous that Calum giggles, which makes Noel burst out laughing, and soon they’re cackling on the floor, tears streaming down their faces as they gasp for breath and clutch at their stitches. Liam, who’s been sleeping soundly, looking peaceful and tranquil and not at all like the guy who’d threatened to knock Calum’s teeth out for suggesting City should have played a different formation not six hours ago, stirs and opens his eyes, blinking blearily.

“Shut the fuck up,” he mumbles, and then rolls over, and goes back to sleep. Noel glances at Calum, flushed and panting from laughing, eyes bright and gleaming, and that one look is enough to make the both of them collapse in laughter again, cheeks and sides and throats hurting.

The next morning, when Liam wakes Calum up by nudging him in the ribs and saying get up, lazy bugger, we’re late for work, that’s what Calum remembers from the night before. He remembers laughter, Noel’s living room going blurry around the edges, and the pleasant buzz of alcohol, weed and two of his best mates thrumming through his veins. He doesn’t remember the boy on guitar in the Boardwalk.

-------

The next time fate has her way with Calum is a good year and a half later.

They’re recording their first album, which Noel seems to think means he’s recording his first album and everyone else is just there to complement his fucking genius. He’s not managed to stop being a cunt for about six months now, and, not one to let Noel beat him in anything, Liam’s getting equally insufferable. The studio is a fucking battleground, and Bonehead always takes Liam’s side and Tony’s just fucking useless, and Calum thinks to himself at least twice a day: is this really worth it? Maybe I should’ve just stuck with construction.

They’re getting there, though, and when it’s good, it’s fucking good. They can all sense that there’s something there, something new and bold and, as Noel in all his endless humility declares it one night, groundbreaking. They’ve recorded Supersonic, a song that Noel somehow wrote in about half an hour, recorded a video for it on the roof of some warehouse in London, and there’s something about it that none of them can quite put their finger on, something that feels almost overwhelming, feels like it’s bigger than them. They’ve even been on the radio a few times, been playing bigger and bigger venues, got a contract and management and all that nonsense, and for all the flaws that combine to make up the Gallagher brothers, Noel’s got a fucking knack for songwriting and Liam’s voice is unlike anything Calum’s heard before.

The problem is that lately, it’s been bad more than it’s been good. They’d done sessions at Monnow Valley which had sounded like absolute shit, too clean and thin, and with every day that passed and every track that couldn’t be used Noel got more and more frantic, snapping at everyone who dared speak to him. Liam, never one to resist a fight with his brother, had risen to the challenge, and the fallout had been messier and dirtier and involved more collateral damage than even Calum had expected. It had culminated in a trip to Amsterdam which had ended before it even began after a fight broke out on the ferry. Calum remembers seeing Liam zooming past, a happy grin on his face, heading right for the middle of the action, and then twenty minutes later zooming past again, bruised and bloody, still grinning, being chased by a policeman. It had ended in Liam being deported, handcuffs and all, and a screaming match between the brothers in which both of them quit and were fired by the other at least twenty-three times.

Since that, though, things have got a little better. They’ve started recording in Sawmills in Cornwall with Noel as a co-producer, and Noel and Liam have started talking again, and everyone had breathed out a collective sigh of relief when Noel had announced he was going to head to the shops and Liam had wordlessly got up to join him. Slowly but surely, things have started looking up.

It’s in the middle of one of those sessions that everything changes.

“Eeyar, Calum,” Noel calls, from the corridor outside. “Your mam’s on the phone.” Calum sighs - fucking hell, what does his mum not understand about we’re recording an album and I’m twenty-two years old, I’ll call you when I fucking call you - but puts his bass aside and gets up grudgingly, trotting outside to see Noel holding out the receiver for him.

“I want you back in in ten,” he says warningly, like he’s Calum’s dad and they’re eating dinner soon, and Calum rolls his eyes and flips him off, which is as good of a yes as Noel’s going to get. Noel sticks his tongue out at him and heads back into the studio, probably to yell at Bonehead from the soundboard for being too loud, or maybe too quiet, or maybe too middling. He’ll find something.

“What?” Calum says, a little irritably, lifting the receiver to his ear.

“Hello to you too, Calum,” his mum says smartly. “I haven’t heard from you in over a week.” Calum rests his arm against the wall, and his forehead against his arm, and stares at his shoes.

“I’m recording an album, mum,” he says, hoping it doesn’t sound too annoyed. “We’re busy.” She makes a small hmm, a you should have stayed in a real job kind of hmm, but doesn’t push it.

“Are you eating well?” she asks, a stern undertone to her voice, like she knows Calum’s diet right now is entirely liquid.

“Yes,” Calum lies. He gets another disapproving hmm for his trouble which sounds like it might be the prelude to a speech about how he should stop wasting his time and come home and do a proper job and eat some vegetables, so he decides to change tack. “How’s home?”

“Oh, home’s good,” his mum says. “Janet next door’s got a new man, invited us to the wedding next month - can you imagine? A wedding in March? I said to her, I said ‘you’ll be wanting to move it to May’, and she said ‘oh, we want an indoor wedding anyway’.” Calum hums noncommittally, because he has absolutely no idea what that’s supposed to mean. What the fuck’s wrong with an indoor wedding in March? “Anyway, your dad and I have decided to go. Janet extended the invitation to you, too, but I said I didn’t know if you’d be back from your recording session.”

“I don’t know either,” Calum says. “Noel’s being a right cunt about the whole thing.”

“Calum,” his mum says reprovingly, like she wasn’t the one he picked the word up from in the first place. “Well, regardless, you’ll be home by April, won’t you? I told your dad you’d help fix the wall in the garden.” Calum groans, because that’s pretty much the last thing on the list of things he wants to do, including having Noel claw his eyeballs out for fucking up the bass on Supersonic again, and his mum tuts. “You’ve got experience in construction, Calum. You should put those skills to good use.”

“I’ve never fixed a fucking wall, mum,” he says.

“Well, the wall needs fixing,” she says, like that’s that. The wall needs fixing, so Calum’s got to suddenly develop the skills to do it.

(For her, though, Calum’ll do it.)

“What’s wrong with it?” he says, already mentally ringing up the cost of the bricks and mortar he’s going to need. “Looked fine last time I was home.”

“I think the ivy must have loosened the cement,” his mum says. “I was watching TV the other night - I saw Michael on Top of the Pops, actually - and then-”

“Hang on,” Calum interrupts, because he only knows two Michaels, and one of them’s here in Cornwall with him. “Michael who?”

“Michael Clifford,” his mum says, like it’s obvious. “Anyway, then I heard a huge crash outside, and I told your dad to go and take a look, and he said the wall had caved in. Just a bit, you know, near the shed, but-” she’s still talking, something about foxes and de-weeding the garden, but Calum’s not listening.

Michael Clifford, she’d said, like it was simple and obvious. Like it stood to reason that she saw him on Top of the fucking Pops. Like it made sense that Calum’s childhood best friend, his fucking everything from the age of seven to seventeen, was on a British music show.

“Michael Clifford?” he repeats, in the middle of whatever his mum’s saying.

“Yes,” she says, sounding a little annoyed that Calum’s not listening to her impassioned speech about ivy. “Anyway, your dad said he’d need some help with it, and that it can wait until you’re back. But I want it done as soon as you are, because I don’t like the idea of Janet being able to see into our garden. Oh, that’s the chicken done. Call me in a few days, let me know how things are. Give the others my best. Love you.” She doesn’t even wait for a response, just hangs up, leaving Calum staring at the floor with a dial tone ringing in his ear and a name bouncing around in his mind.

It can’t be him. She must have been mistaken. What the fuck would Michael Clifford be doing on Top of the Pops? What the fuck would Michael Clifford even be doing in Britain? The last Calum had heard from him, about a year and a half after he’d left Sydney, Michael had been sure about becoming a policeman. He’d seemed so dead set on it, had signed himself up for the academy and everything. Calum might not have heard from him in almost half a decade, but he’s pretty sure nobody would stray so far from ‘policeman in Sydney’ to end up at ‘musician in Britain’. No, he thinks, shaking his head and pushing himself off the wall with his arm, his mum must have been wrong. She hasn’t seen Michael since they’d moved from Sydney five years ago either, so it’s understandable that she’d mixed him up with someone else.

But, a little voice says, as he heads back into the studio and is greeted with the sight of Liam sprawled across the sofa, laughing at something Noel’s just said, both of them looking far too high-spirited for Gallaghers, she watched Michael grow up. She knew his face better than you ever did.

“‘Ere,” Liam says, interrupting the voice in Calum’s mind as it’s about to start reeling off a list of times Calum’s mum had spotted Michael in a crowd or down the road or in a photo before Calum had. “Noel says he’ll sprint around the house naked if Tony doesn’t fuck up his drums on this take. What d’you reckon?”

“I reckon it’s a good thing Tony can’t fucking play drums then, isn’t it?” Calum says, as Liam drops his feet to the floor to make room for Calum on the sofa. Liam snorts, and Noel scowls, but his eyes are still lit up with amusement.

“Well, I reckon you’re both cunts,” Noel tells them, and Calum grins, hoping they don’t see the way it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and reaches over for Liam’s beer to try and calm his churning stomach.

-------

Calum can’t sleep that night.

He’s usually so drunk that Liam’s gentle snoring doesn’t even register to him as he throws himself down on his bed, often fully-dressed, and falls right asleep, only waking up to fumble around for paracetamol in the middle of the night when his throbbing headache overpowers his exhaustion. He’s not used to lying there, stomach still unsettled, mind racing, staring blankly up at the ceiling, growing more and more frustrated by the noise of Liam sleeping.

Liam rolls over in his sleep, mutters something under his breath, and then his breathing evens out again, and Calum times the minutes passing by the way he breathes in, out, in, out. The moonlight’s getting brighter - or maybe it’s the sun rising, he’s not sure - and eventually, when Liam rolls over again and smacks his lips in his sleep, Calum’s had enough. He gets up, pads out of the room and down the stairs, heading in the direction of the kitchen for a drink.

He’s surprised, though, when he pushes the door open, to find Noel sat at the breakfast bar, a sheet of paper in front of him, still wearing the same clothes from the day before. He turns around at the noise of the door opening and mumbles something that sounds vaguely like a greeting to Calum, who grunts back at him as he grabs a glass out of the cupboard and fills it with water.

“Can’t sleep?” Noel asks, and Calum raises his eyebrows over the glass of water he’s gulping down.

“No,” he says, setting the glass down on the counter. “You?” Noel shakes his head.

“‘S Bonehead’s fucking snoring,” he says, by way of an explanation, but Calum’s known Noel for five years now, and knows him better than that.

“And that’s why you’re still dressed?” Calum says shrewdly.

“Fuck off,” Noel mutters, raising a can of beer to his lips so he won’t have to say anything else. Calum sighs and shakes his head, but chooses not to push him on it, hopping up on the counter and swinging his legs.

“You writing?” he asks, and Noel looks down at the sheet of paper under his hand, and shrugs.

“Trying,” he says. Calum hums, and the two of them lapse into a comfortable silence for a while.

It helps, Calum finds, to be with Noel. He’s never been a man of many words - neither him nor Liam have ever been particularly gifted in that area - but Calum knows he’s always safe with Noel, thrives in the quiet comfort of Noel’s presence. Noel never asks, never pushes, but he’s always there if Calum ever needs anything, and even though they never speak about it, they both know the same is true vice versa.

(Calum can count on one hand the number of times he’s needed Noel, and can count on one finger the number of times Noel’s needed him.)

That’s not to say Noel doesn’t have his moments, though. He’s obstinate, brash, loud, arrogant, thinks his opinion is worth at least twelve times as much as anyone else’s, and takes himself far too seriously half the time. Calum’s had some of his most memorable arguments with Noel, edged out only slightly by how spectacular his arguments with Liam have been. Both of those, however, are eclipsed by how fucking nuclear the arguments between Noel and Liam are. The two of them bring out both the worst and the best in each other, grating at each other’s virtues and soothing each other’s flaws. They don’t know how to be happy unless they’re dancing along the line between love and hate, and Calum’s not sure it’d work any other way. He’s seen them in their brief, private moments of peace - Liam’s head on Noel’s chest, Noel’s arm wrapped around him, Liam murmuring something about a song or a memory that makes Noel snort, which in turn makes Liam’s lips curve up in a proud smile - but neither of their ships could sail anywhere without a restless sea to guide them. They need the fighting, need the bickering, even need the punches, to keep the wheels turning. A conversation’s not really begun if Noel and Liam haven’t called each other cunts at least twice, Calum thinks, and if Calum’s not been called upon by both of them to call the other a cunt within ten seconds of the inevitable argument breaking out.

It had been an argument like that a year or so ago that had led to them traipsing to the Boardwalk to watch that band play. Calum remembers the energy they had, raw and a little off-kilter but something there all the same, remembers the lyrical shouting of the singer and the way he’d bounced all over the stage, but not as much as he remembers the guitarist.

He’d looked so familiar, blonde hair and posture combining to make Calum’s heart ache like no music had ever quite managed to. It couldn’t have been him, though, he’d told himself. There was absolutely no way that Michael Clifford could have been playing in the fucking Boardwalk. Michael was in Sydney, back home, probably sunning himself on Bondi Beach and laughing at something Ashton was saying as Luke grinned at Ashton with wide blue eyes. Michael wasn’t in Manchester.

Except, a little voice in his head says, maybe he was. Maybe Calum’s mum hadn’t mistaken some guy in a band on Top of the Pops for Michael. Maybe it was Michael.

“D’you know that band we saw, a few years ago?” Calum says, out of the blue, before the thought to say the words has even crossed his mind. Noel looks up at him, thick brows furrowed.

“Seen a lot of fucking bands,” he says, a little slowly, like he’s trying to figure out what Calum’s actually asking. Calum half-considers dropping the subject entirely, but Noel’s been in the business far longer than he has, and if anyone’s going to know, it’s him.

“The one in the bar. After the City match.” Noel purses his lips, brows creasing further, before nodding thoughtfully.

“Oh,” he says. “Yeah. They’re famous now, they are.”

“Oh,” Calum says, and swallows. That’s not what he expected - or, he finds, wanted - to hear.

“Yeah. Heard their first record. Or maybe it was their second, I don’t know. It wasn’t all that.”

“What’re they called, again?” Calum asks, hoping the question sounds innocent, but Noel’s eyes narrow a fraction.

“Blur,” he says.

“Blur,” Calum repeats, testing the word out, letting it sit on his tongue.

“Why?”

“No reason,” Calum says. Noel looks at him for a moment, like he’s weighing up whether or not to say something, but then seems to let it go, shaking his head.

“You’re a fucking odd one, you are,” he says, which is the nicest thing he’s said to Calum in months.

“Cheers,” Calum says, with a grin. “Good-looking, too.”

“Don’t push it,” Noel warns, and Calum laughs, swinging his legs.

“What’re you writing, then?” he asks. Noel looks back down at the sheet of paper.

“Don’t know, really,” he says. “Just can’t seem to get it right.”

“Want me to take a look?” Calum offers.

“You?” Noel says sceptically. “You barely even play a fucking instrument.”

“Bass is a fucking instrument, you prick,” Calum says, only half-incensed.

“You’re up there with the fucking tambourine player,” Noel says, but there’s a smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Fuck off,” Calum says, and Noel leans back in the chair, grinning. “You’re the one who bought him that fucking tambourine, anyway.”

“Little twat might as well do something worthwhile,” Noel says, like Liam’s voice isn’t one of the two indispensable elements they’ve got.

“At least I can play guitar,” Calum counters. Noel raises an eyebrow.

“Playing?” he says. “Well. If that’s what you want to call it.” Calum scowls and flips him off, and Noel just laughs and gives him a two-fingered salute in return.

“Go on, then,” he says, shoving the piece of paper to the edge of the breakfast bar. “Let’s see how much damage can be done to my genius.” Calum rolls his eyes but reaches over to pull the piece of paper towards him. There’s barely anything on there, just two lines: I can’t tell you the way I feel/Because the way I feel is oh so new to me. Fucking hell.

“I’m off to bed,” Noel says, like he can sense the questions bubbling under the surface of Calum’s frown, and pushes himself back from the breakfast bar. Calum looks up, catches the brief look of don’t you dare fucking ask me what that’s about that flits across Noel’s face, just the most fractional chink in his armour, and nods, hopping off the counter and tucking the sheet of paper into his pocket. He should probably try and get some sleep too, if only because he’s going to have to be in the best frame of mind possible to deal with how insufferable Noel’s going to be tomorrow on three hours’ sleep.

“I’m going to smother your brother if he’s not stopped snoring,” he tells Noel, following him out of the room. Noel snorts as he starts up the stairs, that strange mixture of derisive and fond that the Gallaghers manage so well.

“You’ve got more of a fucking chance of him waking up a bird than you do getting him to stop snoring,” he says. Calum sighs, all long-suffering, like this is news to him, even though he’s been sleeping in rooms with Liam since they were seventeen and sixteen respectively.

“Good thing the tambourine player’s expendable, then,” he says, and Noel laughs, soft and quiet in the stillness of the night.

“You’d be doing the world a fucking favour,” he says, but there’s a strong edge of pride and fondness that Noel only ever gets when talking about Liam, and Liam only ever gets when talking about Noel, and they never get when talking to each other. Calum thinks they’d probably both rather switch to being United fans than ever admit any semblance of love exists between the two of them, but it hums lowly beneath the surface, visible for anyone who bothers to look beyond the black eyes and hurled insults and weeks of refusing to even look at each other. No one can deny that the two of them fucking hate each other half the time, but without the push and pull of their relationship, without the back and forth and the give and take, the band couldn’t work. If the two of them ever lost that, if one of them ever pulled or pushed too hard, that’d be it. It should probably concern Calum more than it does that his entire career is poised on the knife’s edge that is Liam and Noel’s endless tug-of-war, but he's yet to lose the strangely settled feeling in his stomach every time Noel quits or fires Liam that tells him they'll be alright. You'll be alright. There are still better things to come.

“You’re just saying that because you want to sing,” Calum retorts.

“Nah,” Noel says with a grin, hand hovering over the door handle of his and Bonehead’s room. “I’m saying it because I want more royalties.” Calum rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning too.

“I’ll see what I can do for you,” he promises.

-------

As Calum had predicted, Noel’s a fucking nightmare the next day.

He snaps at everyone who dares come within a ten metre radius of him, and, when everyone stops going into the same room Noel’s in, he specifically goes out of his way to find Liam to start an argument that ends in Liam complaining that one of his teeth is loose.

(“It’s not fucking loose,” Bonehead says, and then decides to leave the room, presumably because he doesn’t want to deal with Liam’s moaning and whining. Calum can’t really blame him, and starts to shift surreptitiously towards the door himself.

“Since when are you a fucking dentist, you cunt?” Liam shouts after him, and Bonehead flips him off as he walks away. “You’re coming with me to the dentist, you are.” He’s rounded on Calum now, blocking the path to the door, and Calum sighs.

“If we get more beer on the way back,” he bargains, and Liam nods.)

That’s how Calum’s ended up in some posh dental surgery, spread out across a leather sofa and looking very incongruous in his oversized shirt and baggy jeans amongst the glass and the fancy-looking plants, waiting for Liam to come out of his appointment. It’s taking far longer than he’d expected - he’d thought it’d be a quick your tooth’s not fucking loose, you knob, you’ve definitely had worse, like everyone else had told him, but Liam’s been in there for a good fifteen minutes now, and Calum’s getting bored.

The receptionist keeps making eyes at him, and Calum can’t tell whether they’re I want to fuck you eyes or whether they’re you look like you’re going to try and rob this dental surgery eyes, so eventually he picks up the nearest magazine off the coffee table and flicks it open to a random page just for something to look at that isn’t her.

There’s a very pretty guy staring back at him when he looks down, blonde and blue-eyed and grinning inanely at the camera, and the caption reads BLUR: the cocky rebels you’re allowed to love.

Blur. That’s what Noel had called the band from that bar in Manchester last night. They’re famous now, they are, he’d said.

Calum barely even notices the way his heart speeds up as his eyes fly across the page, scanning the article for any mention of Michael before he really realises what he’s looking for. The author and the singer - Damon, apparently - keep referring to a Mike, an Australian Mike, which puts Calum right on edge, but Michael had never gone by Mike. He fucking hated it, corrected anyone who called him anything other than Michael, refused to respond to any teachers who tried to call him Mike, threw glowers at any classmates who did the same. He’d barely even let Calum call him Mikey in his most vulnerable moments, rubbing small circles on his back soothingly as he coaxed him to throw up all the cheap booze they’d nicked from the corner shop.

Calum’s fingers are slick with sweat as he’s turning the page and his eyes are starting to water from how little he’s blinking, and he’s not sure whether it’s a good or a bad thing, whether he wants Mike to be Michael or not. When he reaches the bottom of the second page, however, Calum’s heart stops.

There’s a picture of the whole band. Damon’s standing second from the left, right arm holding his left bicep, head tilted upwards, looking lazy and effortlessly beautiful, like he fucking knows he’s worth looking at. It reminds Calum of Liam a little bit, the way he plays into the camera, the way he knows that with a small tilt of his chin and a slight lowering of his lashes he’ll have half the fucking nation on their knees for him. Maybe that’s just the way singers need to be, Calum thinks, eyes flitting to the ginger guy to Damon’s left, who looks a little uncomfortable, and then to the guy directly on Damon’s right; tall, broody-looking, dark hair swept across his face. To his right is a shorter dark-haired man, looking tense and on edge, and to his right is-

Michael Clifford.

There’s no mistaking him. He’s got the same blonde hair still sticking up at all sorts of angles, the same sleepy, sea green eyes, the same pretty lips slightly parted in a pout. He’s holding himself confidently, miles away from the slightly scrawny teenager Calum had left behind, staring into the lens of the camera like it’s a challenge. Come on, Calum. Tell yourself I ever stopped mattering to you, go on.

Calum doesn’t need to read the caption to know it’s Michael, knows it from the way he’s clutching his right wrist with his left hand, but does it anyway, one final, desperate grasp at a straw - from left to right: David Rowntree, Damon Albarn, Alex James, Graham Coxon, Michael Clifford.

Michael Clifford.

The words seem to sort of swim in front of Calum’s eyes, like they’re not really there, like his mind’s superimposed them on the article somehow, but the picture’s still there, clear as day. Michael, a hint of stubble on his jaw, face more angled and figure fuller and shoulders broader and God, he looks so fucking good that Calum’s stomach flips and drops and flips again.

“-fucking hell, Earth to fucking Cal,” Liam says, sounding sort of muffled, and Calum nearly drops the magazine in shock, yanked back into reality so suddenly and jarringly by the sound of his voice.

“What?” he says, looking up to see Liam with an irritated expression on his face, cradling one cheek in his hand.

“Let’s fucking go,” Liam says, already halfway to the door. Calum stares after him for a moment, mind trying to process Liam wants to leave over the tangled jumble of Michael Michael Michael currently winding its way through every cell in his brain, before he jumps up, magazine still in his hand.

“Sir,” the receptionist calls immediately, like she’s had her eye on him the whole time. “You can’t take the magazine with you.” Calum looks down at the magazine, and Liam turns around from the door, a slight tension in his posture that Calum recognises as the one he gets when he’s spoiling for a fucking fight. Christ, he’s not about to deck the fucking receptionist, is he?

“Or what?” Liam says, a little menacingly. “You gonna fucking stop him?”

“I just-”

“What the fuck do you want with the fucking magazine, eh? Fucking paid enough for the appointment, buy yourself another."

“C’mon,” Calum mutters, rolling the magazine up and hurrying over to Liam, putting a hand on the small of his back. “Let’s go.” Liam hesitates for a moment, like he’s torn between going to get beer or shouting at a receptionist, but eventually the alcohol seems to win in his mind, because he settles for throwing her one final glare and letting Calum guide him out of the door.

“What’d they say?” Calum asks as they walk out, his hand still on Liam’s back, because he knows Liam better than to trust he won’t just change his mind on a whim and go storming back in to give the receptionist a piece of his mind for not wanting Calum to take a fucking magazine.

“Don’t fucking know,” Liam mutters, pushing open the door to outside. Calum shivers a little when the cool late-February air hits him, and decides that Liam’s probably safe now, letting go of him to wrap his arms around himself as they head back to the car that’s been waiting for them. “Sounded like he said something about my flaps.” Calum snorts.

“Bit forward of him,” he says, and Liam grins.

“Why’d you take that fucking magazine, then, eh?” he says, rounding the car without looking into the road and flipping off the car that has to screech to a halt to avoid running him over.

“What?” Calum says, a touch shiftily. “Oh. Saw a good article in it. Wanted to finish reading it.” Liam throws him a look over the top of the car, a look that’s unnervingly shrewd, but then shakes his head and ducks into the car. Calum does the same, taking a moment to tuck the magazine into his pocket and feeling it weigh down one side of him, unbalancing him just slightly. It’s kind of apt, he thinks as he gets into the car. Michael had always made him feel a little unbalanced, too.

“Let’s get some fucking beer,” Liam announces, and Calum grins, trying not to think about the way the magazine feels pressed between him and the seat.

“Let’s get some fucking beer,” he agrees.

-------

Calum doesn’t look at the magazine again until a good week later.

He’s drunk, and maybe still a little high, which is the driving force behind the whole evening. They all are, because Liam had scored some great coke off some guy called Neville, which Calum had declared to be the funniest dealer name in all of history, leading Bonehead to admit that his weed dealer used to be called Barnaby. Noel had sided with Calum, claiming Neville was far worse than Barnaby, and, predictably, Liam had jumped straight in on Bonehead’s side, and after about two minutes of shouting Tony had mumbled something about not being drunk enough for this and slipped out of the room.

“Fucking useless,” Liam says derisively, as Tony walks out. “I should fire him.”

“I fired you two days ago,” Noel says, pointing at Liam with the card he’s using to cut up the coke. “You can’t be firing anyone.”

“It’s my fucking band,” Liam says, incensed, like it’s not actually Bonehead’s band that Liam had wheedled his way into.

“Who writes the fucking songs?” Noel counters. “You just play the fucking tambourine and look mardy.”

“Fucking greatest frontman in the world, I am,” Liam says indignantly.

“You’re too fucking high to find the front of the stage half the time,” Noel says contemptuously.

“I know where the front of the fucking stage is,” Liam says, pointing at Noel with one hand and Calum with the other. “‘S between knobheads numbers one and two.” Noel rolls his eyes, too busy cutting lines to flip him off, so Calum does it on both of their behalfs, and Liam grins, swigging from his beer.

“Save us a fucking line,” Bonehead says to Noel, who’s just bent down to hoover up at least four of the thin white lines on the table.

“Get your fucking own,” Noel grumbles, like he’s the one who’d scored it, not Liam, but he lets Bonehead push him aside, slumping back against the sofa.

“Greedy cunt,” Bonehead mutters, and Noel swats him upside the head, handing him the card.

“We should have a fucking celebration,” Liam declares grandly, gesturing widely with his beer bottle.

“For what?” Noel says. “Album’s not even fucking finished yet.”

“Sounds fucking great, though,” Liam says.

“Well, you’ve clearly not heard it then, have you?” Calum says with a snort, accepting the card Bonehead holds out to him and leaning over towards the coke. There’s not much left, but Liam’ll fucking do one if he doesn’t leave any for him. “Fucking hell, Noel. You a fucking vacuum?” Noel just grins and shrugs at him, cocaine clearly starting to settle into his veins, and Calum rolls his eyes, cutting two thin lines for himself and leaving enough for the same for Liam.

“It’ll sound great once it’s mixed,” Liam insists, as Calum bends down.

“That’s what you said last time,” Bonehead points out.

“No I fucking didn’t,” Liam says, even though he’d literally spent about a week bouncing around saying it’ll sound fucking great when it’s mixed, just you fucking wait. It’ll be fucking biblical. Calum straightens, wincing slightly and pinching the end of his nose, and throws Liam a look.

“You fucking did,” he says. Liam scowls at him, and motions for the card. “Come over here. No way you’ll reach the coke from over there.” Liam rolls his eyes but complies, heaving himself up and then throwing himself down next to Calum, making a noise of outrage when he sees how little is left for him.

“What the fuck, Noel?” he demands, and Noel just cackles. Christ, he’s blitzed out of his fucking mind already.

“We should fucking celebrate,” Noel says, like he hadn’t shot down Liam saying it not two minutes ago.

“Celebrate what, you prick?” Calum says, wrinkling his nose as the bitter cocaine drips down his throat. Fucking grim. At least his mouth will be too numb to taste it soon.

“Fucking all of it,” Noel says. “Us. Recording an album. The fact that we’re going to be number fucking one.” Calum snorts, but he’s starting to feel a little giddy, a little warmer, and he leans back with a grin.

“Number fucking one,” he repeats, and Liam nods solemnly next to him.

“Fucking right,” he says, like it’s what they’re owed. Calum catches Bonehead’s eye and grins, knows he’s thinking exactly what Calum’s thinking - yeah, us two fucking deserve it for putting up with the both of you.

“Just wait ‘til we release Supersonic,” Calum says, shuffling up a little to rest his head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam’s arm comes around him, warm and comforting, and he squeezes Calum absent-mindedly as he hums contentedly. Calum lets his eyes flutter shut, euphoric and a little overheated, grinning to himself as he lets himself fantasise. Number fucking one, he thinks to himself. Fucking imagine.

“Knock those Blur cunts off the top,” Noel says, and Calum’s eyes fly open.

“What?” he says.

“Their new song,” Noel says scornfully. “Fucking, what’s it? Girls who like boys who like girls who like boys, something like. Fucking shite.”

“New song?” Calum echoes, mind trying to work around the cocaine to process what he’s being told.

“Am I the only one who fucking listens to the radio?” Noel demands. “That’s our fucking competition, that is. We’ve got to knock them off the top spot.”

“Competition,” Calum says slowly. Competition. Michael Clifford is his competition.

And, fucking hell. Does Michael even know Calum’s his competition? Does Michael even know Calum’s in Oasis - does Michael even remember Calum? It’s been what, four fucking years now since the letters had petered out, since Calum had got too caught up in his new life of Liam and Noel and drugs and music and Michael had been too busy with his family and friends and the fucking police academy. Michael might not even recognise Calum, might not even remember his name.

(Something tells him, though, even through the haze of drugs and alcohol, that they could never forget each other. After all, it says, who forgets their first kiss? Who forgets their first fuck? Who, it says, a little too knowingly for Calum’s liking, forgets their first love?)

Liam seems to have sensed something’s up because he’s frowning, waving a hand in Calum’s face, and Calum blinks, shakes his head abruptly and sits bolt upright. He stopped loving Michael. He fucking did, no matter what the churning in his stomach might be telling him. That’s just the fucking booze.

“What the fuck’s up with you?” Liam says, sounding annoyed.

“Don’t feel great,” Calum says, which isn’t entirely untrue. The high’s too high, and the alcohol’s making his stomach clench and contract, and he’s sweating a little too much, and his hands are clammy, and-

“Oh, fucking hell,” he says, a little faintly, and lurches to his feet, crashing into the bathroom next door and only just making it to the toilet bowl before he’s throwing up everything he’d ingested in the previous twenty-four hours. He’s glad he’s still high because it means he can’t quite taste the bile in his throat, can’t entirely feel the way his stomach’s heaving that he distantly registers is going to absolutely fucking kill tomorrow.

Halfway through his retching someone appears behind him, kneeling down beside him and rubbing small circles on his back comfortingly. Calum feels fucking pathetic, slumped over the toilet bowl with tears leaking out of his eyes, someone making quiet, soothing sounds behind him, all because of fucking Michael Clifford.

(That thought makes him retch once again.)

“Waste of fucking coke, that is,” the person says mildly when he’s finished, leaning up and flushing for him, and it’s Liam. Of course it’s Liam. No one else would willingly spend their short high in a tiny, cramped bathroom watching Calum throw up. Noel would probably lock him in and turn off the water supply, maybe grab a camcorder for good measure.

Calum huffs out something that’s supposed to be a laugh but sounds like more of a sob as he sits back, wipes his upper lip and forehead and rests his head against the cool tile wall. Liam sits down opposite him, legs pressed against Calum’s because they’re both too fucking big for the bathroom on their own let alone together, and blinks at him.

“Fuck brought that on?” he says, more curious than anything. Calum’s stomach lurches again, images of Michael smiling at him sleepily on a Saturday morning, of Michael with his head tipped back in detention, laughing at something Calum had said, and the picture of him in the magazine, so much older and yet so fucking familiar, flashing through his mind in rapid succession.

“Probably just overdid it,” he says weakly. Liam gives him a hard stare.

“A fucking baby would’ve had a hard time getting high on what you snorted,” he says.

“Baby wouldn’t’ve drunk five fucking beers beforehand, though,” Calum says, coughing slightly and wincing as he tastes the echo of acid at the back of his throat.

“Depends whose baby it is,” Liam says. “Pretty sure mine would.” Calum snorts, and lets his eyes flutter shut as he starts to come back to himself a little, shivering and wrapping his arms around himself as he realises how cold he is. Fuck, he’s all clammy. Gross.

Almost as though he can read Calum’s thoughts, Liam nudges Calum’s knee with his own.

“You’re fucking rank,” he says.

“Cheers,” Calum says, not opening his eyes.

“Take a fucking shower.” Calum pulls a face. He’s not in the fucking mood to shower.

“Tomorrow,” he says. It’s not like Liam’s never done the same.

“You’re fucking rank, ” Liam tells him again, like he’d not thrown up in the sink two nights ago and left it there overnight, but he puts his hand on Calum’s shin and pats it, and Calum offers him a weak smile.

“You don’t have to stay,” he says.

“What, go back in there and listen to our kid break his neck sucking his own cock? Don’t fucking think so,” Liam scoffs. “I’ll be fucking sober in five minutes, anyway, given the amount of coke you pricks left me.” Calum smiles again, a little less wobbly this time.

“Sober?” he says. “You drank twice as much as me.”

“Not all of us are fucking Aussies, though, are we?” Liam says, and Calum can hear the grin in his voice. “Might as well be a fucking southerner, you.” That makes Calum open his eyes a fraction, enough to glare at Liam.

“Piss off,” he says. “You and your fucking Irish blood. I’d drink anyone else under the fucking table.”

“Fucking right,” Liam says proudly. “Never met anyone who could outdrink me, let alone an Aussie.”

“You’ve never met any except me, you prick,” Calum says, and Liam grins.

“Well, most of you fuckers are smart enough to stay where it’s warm and sunny and the birds are fit, aren’t you?” he says. “Only the stupid ones end up here.” Calum scowls, and kicks at Liam’s leg half-heartedly.

“Fuck off,” he says. “Didn’t choose to move here, did I? Got dragged kicking and screaming.”

“But you’re still here,” Liam points out, and Calum finds he doesn’t have an answer to that. At least, he thinks, not one he’s willing to give Liam.

“You must miss it,” Liam says when Calum doesn’t answer, a little surprised, like the thought’s only just crossed his mind after five fucking years of friendship. Which, knowing Liam, is probably the case.

“Australia?” Liam hums his assent. “Dunno. I guess. I miss Vegemite.” He hesitates, before adding: “Mostly miss my mates, though.”

“Oh?” Liam says, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You still talk to them?” Calum shrugs, a little uncomfortably. After all, it had been him that had ignored the last letter Michael had sent him. He’s the one who hadn’t written back.

“No,” he says. “Phone calls are too expensive, and none of us are fucked writing letters.”

“Ah, well,” Liam says, stretching out on the tiles and sighing contentedly. “Just you fucking wait ‘til we’re number one. You’ll see them then. We’ll be touring Australia three times a year, and that.” Calum can’t help but snort.

“Three times a year?” he says. “There’s only five fucking cities worth playing in.” Liam grins.

“And you’d better have friends in all of them, mate,” he says. “Not bloody paying for hotels if I can help it.”

“My mates are all in Sydney,” Calum says, and there’s a little tug in his chest as he realises that actually, that might not be true anymore. He doesn’t know what happened to Ashton and Luke, either. If Michael can go from police cadet in Sydney to fucking famous musician in the UK then Ashton and Luke are probably, like, astronauts, or something. Maybe he should check with the ASA.

“What?” Liam says curiously, clearly seeing the expression on Calum’s face, and Calum hesitates.

He’s not sure whether he should tell Liam. What the fuck would he even say? My ex, sort of, is in the band Noel’s lining up as our competition? You know Blur? Yeah, I fucked one of the guitarists. Liam wouldn’t get it. Great, he’d say, eyes gleaming. Eeyar, you must have some good stories about him. You can embarrass him in the press. Or maybe, get in, mate. Infiltrate them, eh? Fucking good thought. Oi, that Damon’s alright, isn’t he? Maybe I’ll have it on with him. He wouldn’t understand the weight behind it, what Michael meant to Calum. Means to Calum. Fuck, he doesn’t know anymore.

“I think a mate of mine might have moved over here,” Calum says eventually, when Liam raises an expectant eyebrow. It feels fucking weird calling Michael a mate. The word doesn’t feel quite complete in his mouth, like maybe there should be a soul prefixing it.

“Oh aye?” Liam says, raising his other eyebrow too, like he knows what Calum might mean by ‘mate’. “Where’s he living?”

“I don’t know,” Calum admits. Liam hums, like he’s thinking it over.

“D’you want to know?” he says, in that strangely perceptive way he sometimes does. Calum shrugs, and hopes Liam doesn’t catch the tension in his shoulders.

“Maybe,” he says. “Dunno. Depends.” He doesn’t elaborate, and Liam doesn’t ask him to. Instead, his emotional capacity probably filled for the night, he claps his hand on Calum’s thigh.

“Want to see if we can get Noel to piss himself?” he says, eyes bright, and Calum can’t help but snort.

“‘Course I fucking do,” he says, getting to his feet. Liam braces himself on the sink as he pulls himself up, a little unsteady, and grins.

“Ten quid says he does,” he says, and Calum snorts. Noel had pissed himself once, three years ago, and Liam can’t fucking let go of it.

“You don’t fucking have ten quid,” he says, following Liam out of the room, still feeling a little light-headed and woozy, but no longer nauseous.

“Neither do you,” Liam counters, pushing open the door to the living room, and Calum has to concede there.

“How about the loser sucks the other’s dick, then?” he says, grinning, and Liam throws his head back as he laughs.

“You’re on,” he says over his shoulder, eyes twinkling.

“Who’s getting who to suck their dick?” Noel demands.

“You’re helping me get Calum to suck my dick,” Liam tells him, throwing himself down on the sofa next to Noel and resting his head on Noel’s chest. Almost instinctively, Noel’s arm comes around him, holding him close. Calum could almost be fooled into thinking they’re in some sort of a truce, that the booze and cocaine have broken down the barrier of hatred between them and left only the underlying love, until Liam reaches forwards, picks up a bottle of beer and holds it to Noel’s lips with a wicked grin.

“Drink up.”

taglist: @callmeboatboy @sadistmichael @clumsyclifford @angel-cal @tirednotflirting @cthofficial @tigerteeff @haikucal @queer-5sos @i-am-wierd-always @stupidfukimgspam @bloodyoathcal @pixiegrl @pxrxmoore @makaylaa1113

if you’d like to be added to my taglist (or taken off for this fic i really dont blame u) pls fill in this form!

chapter two

#malum #lashton #5sos fic #5sos fanfic #5sos slash #mate i seriously cant believe im posting this #what goes on in my head. or more accurately what doesnt go on in my head why dont i have a brain #i cannot believe i have 50k of this. 50k. i'm seriously going to hell

32 notes · View notes

zanesgirlfriend · 6 years ago

Text

Surprise! | David Dobrik

Description: You surprise David for a change, and he loves it so much he surprises you with a kiss.

Authors note: I hope you like this!! It's been in my head for a little while now so i decided to write it :)

-----------

You've been a dancer your entire life, making a living doing music videos and teaching dance to little kids at a studio in L.A., which is where you met Mariah. You quickly became best friends, and then became best friends with her friends, known as the Vlog Squad. You've known everyone for about a year, and over that year developed a big crush on David Dobrik. He surprised you with a new car two months ago, which today you were driving to a final rehearsal.

A final rehearsal before you set off on tour as a backup dancer for Ariana Grande.

You've only told Mariah and Heath you were going, making them promise to keep it a secret so you could give David the surprise of a lifetime. Over the last two months you've spent almost every day with Ariana, and all of her other dancers, that you've made friends with, and of course the wonderful crew. Then, after rehearsal, you'd go hang out with David, him having no idea you'd just been dancing with his favorite person on the planet.

Tomorrow you leave for 3 months on a world tour, and David didn't even know. Today was the day, though. You've talked with Ariana and the crew and figured out the perfect way to surprise him. During every break you would text Heath and Mariah to make sure everything was going smoothly, and you'd continue dancing, more nervous than you'd ever been for a performance.

Once everything was done Ariana gave everyone a pep talk and a nice speech about how hard we've worked, and how great tour will be, and then it was time.

"Y/n how close is David?" She asked you, and you checked your phone.

"Ten minutes away!" You kinda hopped in excitement as the circle broke up while people got ready for the surprise. Ariana came over to you and expressed her excitement as well, telling you "This will be the best vlog he's ever had, honey." You laughed with her as you tried to calm your nerves.

Something about this being for David made you very scared to perform. You just hoped he would love it, but you're surprising David with Ariana Grande so you know theres no way he wouldn't love it.

Seven minutes later you get a text from Mariah telling you they're here with David, so you tell Ariana and she tells everyone to get into position while you go get him.

You walk outside and see David with his camera already pointed on you, and also see Heath, Mariah, Natalie, Todd, and Zane. "Okay David I'm gonna need your camera, and you're gonna need to put on this blindfold." You hand him a headband from your dance bag and he puts it on.

"What is this, I hate being the one to get surprised!" His giggles make you smile as you give his camera to Heath. Zane and Todd are also filming, and Mariah has another camera for David. You take Davids hand, noticing that your hands fit very well together, as you lead him through the door. You smile at security as everyone wonders what's going on.

"Why is there security?" Zane asks

"There's security? Y/n what is going on?" David kinda flips out and tightens his grip on your hand. You sush him and lead everyone into the rehearsal area, where there are a couple chairs set up facing the rehearsal stage. A lot of dancers are in position on stage, so the group gets very excited.

"Okay, everyone sit down." You help David get into a chair, noticing for a second that your hand is cold now that Davids hand isn't holding it. "Mariah I'll take that camera now, thank you." You grab the camera, and run up onto the stage.

"Can I take my blindfold off?" You hear David ask. You quickly press record on the camera and put it on the edge of the stage, facing David.

"Yes!" You yell. He takes it off as you stand in position. "5, 6, 7, 8!"

The music starts up to one of Ariana's songs as you and the other dancers begin to dance. You see Ariana pop out from the curtain behind everyone, and you smile. David and everyone are smiling at you and the dancers, but still look confused as to what the surprise is. Then, right on cue, Ariana starts singing along to the song, and Todd turns around, and screams. This gets David's attention, and he and everyone else turn around. They all start freaking out, and the music cuts out right where you said it should, and you stop dancing. You grab the camera and hop off the stage to see David.

Ariana is hugging David and introducing herself to everyone when you make it over there. "Oh my God I can't believe this." David says, and he turns around. He sees you and smiles.

"Are you crying?" You see tears in his eyes as he nods, making you laugh. He pulls you in for a big hug, which fills you with the best butterflies.

"Y/n wanted a good way to tell you guys goodbye. . ." You hear Ariana say, making David pull out of your hug.

"What do you mean goodbye?" He looks at you with a furrowed brow. You notice everyone else looking at you, Heath and Mariah giving sympathetic smiles.

"I'm going on tour with her. For three months, and I know I should've told you earlier but, I wanted the surprise to stay a secret so . . ." You stop explaining and David gives you another hug.

Everyone, including David, continue to talk and make jokes with Ariana, getting some bits for David's vlog, but you notice the whole time he is a little bit quieter than usual. Could he actually be sad about you leaving? You can't help but feel an ache in your stomach at the fact that this is the last night you'll have with your friends for 3 months.

When Ariana has to go, you grab your stuff and lead everyone outside, quietly listening to everyone talk about how cool she was, and how they have great Instagram pictures now. You get to the parking lot and see David's Tesla and Natalies Mercedez parked neatly next to your car.

"I guess I should get home, I have a pretty early flight tomorrow." You say, the group stopping to say goodbye.

"Why don't you come over for a little bit? I don't want you to go yet." David says, making tears well up in your eyes.

"I would but I haven't packed anything yet." You start crying. A tear rolls down David's cheek as he brushes a tear from yours. You chuckle, unable to control your emotions in front of him.

"I'll come help you pack, then youre spending the night at my house, okay?" He offers. You smile and nod. "Heath, can you drive my car back to my house? I'm gonna go help y/n pack." He turns around towards the group.

Heath agrees and you say goodbye to Heath and Mariah, knowing you wont see them again before you leave. David gets in your car with you and you head back to your apartment. You talk and cry the whole way there.

Once inside your apartment, you shut the door and David turns to you. "This was the best day of my life, and now you're leaving and its the worst day of my life, so I have to give you a goodbye present to make it even." You tilt your head, confused by his words, and before you can say anything, he pins you against your front door.

"I want you to know what will be waiting for you when you get back." He cups your face with his hands, making your heart flutter.

"David what are you talki-" You try to speak, but David puts his finger over your lips. He puts his hand back on your cheek and you watch him close his puppy dog eyes as he leans in. Your eyes instinctively shut as your lips collide. You kiss him back and enjoy the feeling of warmth in your stomach.

He pulls away and you open your eyes.

"I don't want you to leave me."

#david dobrik imagine #david dobrik imagines #david dobrik #david x reader #heath hussar #todd smith #toddy smith #natalie #mariah amato #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #ariana grande #zane hijazi #zane

580 notes · View notes

sunflowerstache · 6 years ago

Text

A Happy Man (Part 2)

A/N: Hello beauties! This is the sequel to my first ever angst piece “You’ll Be Okay” and I really love it! It’s loosely based off the song Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett! As always, if you enjoyed/have questions/comments/suggestions/all of the above, please let me know! I love hearing from y'all so much and I love you all to bits!

Word Count: 3.1k

Masterlist Part 1

“Have a nice Saturday love.”

Your phone buzzed on the end table next to your spot on the couch, indicating another incoming message from Harry. And just like every other day, you left the message unanswered. For the past 4 days, like clockwork, he had sent you a text at exactly 8:15am, wishing you a good day, and another at 9:30pm reminding you that he loves you. After walking out of yours and Harry’s hotel’s room 4 days ago, you had immediately flown home and showed up a sobbing mess at your parent’s doorstep. Upon the door opening, you found your father raising a baseball bat and your mother hidden on the staircase, in fear of an intruder – as it was the early hours of the morning – a sight you would laugh at if it were any other circumstance. Once your parents realized it was just you, and that you were a wreck, they quickly ushered you inside and to the couch, so you could explain what was wrong. That was days ago, and here you were, still seated in the same spot, staring off into space while your parents watched from the entryway.

“She’s going to start growing into the couch if she doesn’t move Y/M/N.” your dad whispered, or at least whispered as much as a dad was capable.

There was a small thud, and you knew your mom had gently smacked your father’s chest, “He meant a lot to her. She just needs some time.”

“And she can hear you both.” You turned your head to look at the two of them huddled together. “I appreciate you letting me crash here, but you don’t have to dote over me. I’m a big girl. Go to the Christmas Tree Shop or whatever it is you retired folk do.” You tried to crack a smile, but you knew it looked more like grimace.

“Oh hunny, you don’t have to thank us. You’re our baby, of course you are always welcome here.” Your mom cooed as she scuttled across the room to sit next to you and run her fingers through your hair, “Everything’s going to work itself out. I promise.”

“My offer still stands monkey. You let me know where he is, and I’ll go have a nice little chat with Harold.” Your dad smiled, still standing at the entryway.

“No dad. The last thing I want is for you to talk to him right now. It would only make things worse. I mean, I didn’t break up with him. I just told him I needed time. So that’s what I’m doing. Taking some time.” You took a deep breath, talking more to yourself than to your parents now, “Not broken up.”

~~~

“She broke up with me, mum.” Harry’s groan was muffled by the thick white duvet as he laid face down on his hotel bed, still in yesterday’s clothes. “I’ve tried to talk to her every day, and there’s no reply.” Similarly to Y/N, Harry had spent the last 4 days in the same position; wallowing in self-pity and crying to his mother.

“She didn’t my dear. You told me what she said, and she just needs some time.” Anne was seated next to her son, running her hands through his short curls, “You have to understand where she’s coming from. The two of you have been strong for two years, this is just a small bump. Everyone goes through them.”

“Not us, mum. We don’t do this. We never fight, and we never walk away from each other. We’re best friends. Or, we were at least.”

“The two of you are two peas in a pod, don’t doubt that Harry. You have a very busy life, and I mean this with every ounce of love I have for you,” Harry turned his head to peak out from under the blanket to look at Anne, “but you do tend to put quite a lot on your plate. And you never were one for clearing your plate. You’ve been so focused on finding things to keep you busy during this time off, that you’ve put some things to the back burner. Some important things.”

It was like Harry was transported back in time, listening to the bustling streets below while everyone carried on with their lives. Like he wasn’t losing his mind 14 floors above their heads. He knew his mum was right. He always wanted to have a plan a, and a plan b, and plan c, but there was never a risk for that lifestyle before. Never the chance for his precisely planned life to cause such an uproar. But here he was, a weeping, snotty, mess because he planned for everything except his love leaving him.

“Let me ask you, Harry. All of the money, the designer clothes, the followers, notoriety, is it all what’s most important to you? Would you be the happiest with only that?”

His head was shaking before Anne could even finish her questions. There was no doubt in his mind that everything he has, everything his unprecedented luck has been able to provide him, meant nothing if he had no one to share it with. No one to come home to laugh about cute fan encounters with. Nothing without anyone to call up when the silence of empty hotel rooms becomes too much. “Absolutely not.”

“Then in your heart, you know what to do.” She nodded and patted Harry’s back before getting up and disappearing through the front door.

~~~

“Alright, look munchkin. I love you, you know that. But the ass that’s supposed to be making a dent in the couch is mine. I didn’t retire for you to beat me to it.” Your dad plopped down on the couch next to you. “You have a bed upstairs for that.”

“Can’t dad. ‘ve got pictures of him up there. Don’t wanna look at them right now.” You paused, hearing your mother on the phone, for the 4thtime today, “Who she keep talking to?”

You heard him huff next to you, “Who knows. She’s always got something new to gossip about these days. This week, it’s been about Martha leaving the office to go to the company upstairs.”

You were thankful for your dad. While your mother was always the one to sit you down and talk some sense into you when something was going awry, your dad was the comedic relief you needed. He always knew how to take your mind off of the seriousness of life. Which Is exactly what you needed right now.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, ya know, because of the reason you’re here and all, but you smell kid. I don’t know how it works across the pond, but over here we have these things called showers. It’s real neat, you go in and wash you-“

“Oh my god, shut up dad. We have showers for fucks sake.” You laughed, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, the soft murmur of Netflix and your soft breathing filled the air.

“Everything’s going to work out darling. Everyone goes through a rough patch, and it was about time the two of you had yours.” He stopped for a moment, “You know, your mother and I separated for a couple of months.”

Your head shot up at that and looked wide eyed at your father. For your entire life, you idolized your parent’s relationship and wished for nothing more than to achieve what they have. You never would have imagined that they went through any sort of issues. “No you didn’t! When?”

“You were about a year old. I was working double shifts every week while she stayed home with you. She wanted to be able to be there for you every day, watch you grow, and I would have loved nothing more, but someone had to pay for all the diapers you shit in.” you both chuckled, “Me not being home was too much for her and she told me she needed time. Sound familiar?”

“How’d you get past it?”

“I had been staying with your uncle for a couple months, and then woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and told myself I was an idiot for walking away so easily. So, I went back to the house, sat her down, told her how much I loved her and that I was working so hard so that the two of you could have the best lives possible. That’s all I want – the two of you to be happy and not worry about anything.”

The tears were starting to form in your eyes, thinking about how similar your situation is to what your parents went through. Not wanting to sit and cry in front of your dad, again, you patted his knee and stood up.

“About time I go shower, yeah? Wash this stink off.” you smiled and made your way to the staircase, leading to the second floor of your childhood home.

“I love you kiddo.” Your dad called after you, making some warmth spread through your relatively cold body.

In any other situation, you would be disgusted with yourself that this was your first shower in 4 days. But showering was the last thing on your mind recently. As you stood under the searing water, you thought over everything your father had said. Everything he spoke about, you knew is how Harry felt. He told you every chance he got that he loved providing for you, loved being able to make you smile. And it didn’t take much. You got so much joy just by watching in achieve the things he dreamed of and standing behind the scenes to see just how much the love of your life has achieved. But that wasn’t what caused your departure. You had watched Harry make room in his busy life for countless people, so why couldn’t he do that for someone he loved? You thought back to your trip to Italy and hung your head. In his own way, you realized, he did. After canceling your museum tour, he had the two of your sit in bed all night and watch a Italian historical documentary. Brought you to the private hotel pool with a bottle of wine after not being able to go to the beach and left you a note the morning of your cancelled breakfast date. You realized these were all ways he showed you he cared and wasn’t trying to put work ahead of you. And here you were, standing in your parent’s shower, ignoring all his loving messages every day, just so you could justify your leaving. Quickly shutting off the water, you grabbed a towel and made a beeline to your old room, needing to get dressed and find your phone. You had apologizing to do.

You ran down the stairs, after throwing on some old black sweats and a white t-shirt, your hair still dripping from the shower and leaving a trail of water in your path. Getting to the space you were occupying on the couch, you noticed that your phone was no longer on the charger, “Mom! Where did you move my phone?”

No response.

“Seriously mom! I need to use my phone.”

Again, not response, just the sound of glasses clinking in the kitchen.

“I can hear you in the kitchen. If you’re ignoring me because you’re on the phone with someone from the office, talking about Martha again, I swear I’m gon-“ you choked on your sentence upon entering the kitchen, where you expected to find your mother.

The two of you stared at each other like deer caught in headlights, not knowing what to do or say. A wine glass was gently set down, and the room was so silent that you could hear the silent ringing it made when making contact with the marble countertop. You could feel your breathing start to pick up when he licked his lips and whisper a soft “Hi.”

“He – wha – what are you – how did?”

“I called your mom earlier. Told her I wanted to come. See you.”

You nodded, biting the inside of your lip, not knowing how to get past the awkward tension in the air. You had never experienced this with Harry, this foggy unknown feeling. And you hated it.

“Why.”

“Why what?” lines formed on his forehead

“Why – why would you want to see me?

He continued to just stare at you, like you just asked him the meaning of life, with his mouth agape and hands on now resting on top of the counter. “Because I love you. And I’m not letting this be over. I’m not.” He shrugged, “I know you sai-“

“I’m sorry.” You exclaimed, interrupting whatever he was about to say, “I’m sorry for assuming you cared more about work. I’m sorry for blaming you for cancelling things. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

Before you knew what was happening, he had raced around the kitchen island and scooped you into his arms before your knees could buckled beneath you. Muffled gasps were coming from between your lips as Harry ran his hands over the back of your head.

“Shhh, hey none of that. It’s alright. You’re okay. I’m here.”

The two of you stayed locked in one another’s arms for what seemed like hours, making up for missing the feel of each other. Missing the way you could feel Harry’s heartbeat on your temple when hugging him. Him missing the feeling of your hands wound around his torso, toying with his back-belt loops. The two of you missing the comforting smell of the other. Slowly, once your crying subsided, Harry backed away slightly so that he could look at you.

“I think we have some stuff to talk about, yeah?” you nodded simultaneously and moved to sit down, facing each other, on the kitchen island stools. He gently picked up both your hands in his own, “Before you say anything, I need you to know I love you. I am so fucking in love with you that it makes my head spin. And when you walked out of that hotel room, I felt like I was drowning.” You moved to apologize again, but he quickly cut you off, “I don’t want to hear another apology out of you. Don’t ever apologize for your feelings. The hurt you’re feeling is yours to feel however you see fit.”

“I just, I don’t want you to think I’m asking you to choose, H. I would never. I know how much your career means to you, it means everything to me too. Watching you succeed and do what you love means the world to me.” You sniffled, trying make sure he understood that you support him in everything he does.

“But I would. I would choose. Because as much as I love the traveling and picking up new projects, and always being busy, I love you more. I love you more than all the sushi I could stomach in Japan. More than the packages Gucci sends me with new clothes. More than there are stars in the sky. So, I’mthe sorry one. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that, m‘love.” His eyes started to glaze over, accent getting thicker, as the threat of tears grew closer and closer.

“My career has given me more than I could ever ask for. This life I live gives me opportunities I never in a million years could have wished for. But absolutely none of it means anything if you’re not there to share it with me.” The smile that graced Harry’s face was brighter than anything you’ve ever seen on him. His dimples were prominent on his hair covered jaw, small crow’s feet loitered around the corners of his eyes, and his hands tightened in yours.

“But you should be able to do those things without worrying about me. About making sure I’m alright. You’re so young and so successful Harry! You shouldn’t have to worry about how I’m feeling 24/7. You should be able to do what you want, when you want it. To be your own person.” You argued, knowing that this argument was slowly fleeting, as your love for the man in front of you was overpowering any doubts you had.

“I know who I am, doll. But I also know that I’m better with you. I’m better when I wake up to see your hair sprawled all over the bed. Better when I see you in that black dress that makes it hard for me to breathe. Better when you’re around. So, if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower again, or drive a new sports car, that’s okay.” he shrugged, seeing your inner turmoil in your eyes, “Because if the only thing that I have in life is your hand in mine, then I could die a happy man.”

You took your hand out of his hold to brush away the tears that had made their way down your puffy cheeks. Guilt flooded through your veins for ever thinking that Harry loved you any less than how he described. So, you leaned forward to place a kiss to his lips, needing him to know you loved him just the same.

“I quite like the Eiffel tower.” You whispered once your lips disconnected from his, and a small chuckle left his lips,

“I know petal. I just want you to know that I don’t need a fancy destination because you’re my great escape. My sense of normalcy in this crazy life. You’re the one I want to repaint the living room while listening to Sinatra radio and dance around the fireplace with.”

You knew when starting this relationship that things would get difficult, what with being in the public eye and all the moving around. But you also knew that it was all worth it. It was worth it when you got to see Harry after walking off stage, after his morning jog, with his tongue sticking out between his lips while jotting things down in his journal. All the scrutiny was worth it when you got to slow dance in the kitchen or lounge all day with Evie. And no amount of rescheduling or cancellations would change that.

“Did you really just try to flex your Gucci deliveries to me?”

Taglist: @theasstour @emotionally-imbruised @harryspirate @swayingnoodlelove

441 notes · View notes