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buckyskorpion · 4 years ago

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11 hours - part six

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader

Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.

Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned

A/N: so i was gonna leave this on ANOTHER doozy cliff hanger but i genuinely thought i would get lynched so i decided to just leave it at a baby cliffhanger. a lot happened in this chapter and a lot of seeds have been planted for future chapters..... so lemme know what you think hehe. predictions?? angry letters?? pitchforks??? lemme know!! i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.

title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | please donate to my ko-fi!

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“You’re very calm for someone with a gun to their head.”

Honestly, you had been thinking the same thing. Sure, your stomach feels like a snake pit and your hands are sweating and you don’t think you’ve ever been more aware of your own heart beat, but other than that - you don’t understand why you aren’t panicking more. There are three men standing in front of you, one behind, all with guns. They’re wearing matching leather jackets with an octo-head patch on the sleeve, and they all look very scary. Briefly, you wonder if Bucky has a jacket like this, with a patch on to match his family. It’s an irrelevant detail you can’t help but fixate on right now.

Bucky. Hopefully listening on the other end of the phone you have tucked in your back pocket which your kidnappers haven’t been bothered to check yet, thankfully. You flex your wrists against the zip ties holding you to a chair and ask, “Where am I?”

“You should know,” your stalker turned kidnapper says with a condescending sneer. “You followed me here.”

“The Lerna?” you clarify, for the sake of hopefully someone on the other end of your mobile picking it up. You glance around at the old-style bar; chipped wood and beer stains, a rickety pool table one of your stalker’s friends is using as an arm rest. You curl your nose up at it - a little proudly, you note it has nothing on Sam’s bar.

“Do you recognise the place?” your stalker asks. That throws you. You want to ask what he means by that, why you would recognise this gross bar you’ve never stepped foot in, but you clench your teeth and school your face.

Once your dad sat you down in a chair much like this one, in his office at the house you grew up in. You were eleven, maybe, and you didn’t quite understand why he was tying your hands to the back with a necktie but you went along with it. He did this, sometimes - would orchestrate some strange lesson when his nightmares got really bad, his ghosts chasing him inside the house until he saw enemies in lampshades and kitchen cabinets. To keep you safe, he would say, and then he sat opposite you and asked what you would do if anyone ever put you in this position against your will.

“Kroshka, they will use anything against you,” he had said, and you see that now with the way these men are looking at you for any weakness. But you didn’t understand then, you were a kid thinking your dad was spiralling again, so he had cast around until he found a beer bottle on the coffee table. “See, like this. When the label is flat it’s fine, but as soon as one little corner lifts you can’t help it - you have to peel it all the way off. Don’t give them any corners, kroshka.”

You blink, once. The man in front of you scowls when you don’t answer, presses forward into your space in a show of intimidation. You try not to flinch, but that fear you were missing before is starting to set in real fast. What did he mean, do you recognise it? And why the hell are you so prepared for a situation like this, almost as if your dad has been training you for it since you could remember?

“Fine,” your stalker says, his breath fanning over you with how he’s leaning into your space. “Maybe you can answer something else, about your boyfriend.”

“Dunno who you’re talking about,” you say. It’s not a lie - technically, you hadn’t had the ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ chat with Bucky yet. This man is not appreciative of your loopholes. He grabs your hair and yanks your head back, pressing his glock into your neck. You shiver, both at the pain and the cold of the metal. Through gritted teeth and mild hyperventilation, you say, “As a matter of fact, I dunno who you are either. That’s kinda weird, dontcha think?”

You can practically hear Bucky in your head telling you to shut up, but he’s not here right now. No corners, just like your dad said. Doesn’t mean you can’t try and find some corners of your own.

What you meant as a question to buy some time, with a bit of attitude on the side, sends your stalker reeling back from you. He’s confused, eyebrows drawn down low and his friends behind him look to each other with the same expression. Now, you’re confused as well. Everyone in the room stands (or sits, in your particular predicament) in a pure state of what the fuck is going on. It would be funny, if there wasn’t still a gun to the back of your head.

“You don’t know the patch?” the man asks, gesturing to the sleeve of his jacket. When you don’t respond he continues, slowly, reiterating his question from before but as a statement, “You don’t recognise this place.”

You have zero idea what’s going on, but whatever you’ve said seems have thrown your kidnappers for a bit of a loop, so you decide to roll with it. You say, and hope to god the man standing behind you doesn’t shoot you for it, “I’m starting to think you’ve lost control of this situation, pal.”

From the corner of the room behind you, a familiar husky-toned red head says, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

Shots ring out, shattering the windows as one by one your stalker’s friends drop like dominos. Someone crouches behind you and cuts you lose with a knife, and you hear it clatter to the floor as they launch over the back of your chair feet first into your stalker. Natasha. The flash of her red hair over your shoulder as she sends him flying is unmistakable. You scramble from the chair, fumbling for the knife she dropped but your hand slides through something thick, wet. The man behind you with the gun lies dead, throat slit, his blood now all over your fingers. It mesmerises you in a sickening way, making your stomach turn and your vision go fuzzy.

You’d never seen a dead body before. Now they are all around you, the bar smelling like blood instead of beer and the sound of bullets pinging off glass the only noise other than Natasha grappling with your stalker. She’s so small compared to him but she has her thighs clenched around his throat and he gasps for breath, clawing at her legs. You watch, stunned, as he gets a grip on her and throws her off, sending her crashing into the wall with a groan.

She hits the floor and you see red - all you can think is that’s Bucky’s family and that man is walking towards her, his gun trained on her body as she tries to pull herself to her feet, so you stop thinking at all. You picture the back of your stalker's neck like the dartboard at Sam’s bar and you throw.

Bullseye. Just like your dad taught you.

The man drops, knife buried in his neck and haemorrhaging blood. He gurgles this awful, awful sound as he clutches at his throat, trying and failing to push the blood back in. Natasha looks from your still outstretched hand, trembling in place, to meet your gaze. You can’t begin to decipher her expression, nor do you want to. You feel like you’re going to throw up, or choke, or scream, or all three. The man you just stabbed in the neck groans in pain, eyes rolling, coughing blood from his mouth in thick clumps. You can’t feel your hands anymore.

The door bangs open and you flinch, stumbling back until you trip on the chair you had been tied to and fall to the floor in a crumple of limbs. It’s Bucky, eyes wild and larger than life with a rage you’ve never seen before. He has a huge sniper-rifle slung over his back as he strides into the bar, stepping right over the writhing body of your stalker.

“I’ll deal with you in a second, Rumlow,” he practically growls, kicking aside the man’s hand that tries to grab for him. You scramble to your feet, practically tripping over yourself to get to Bucky. Doesn’t it say something about you that you run towards the man responsible for the death all around you?

You crash into Bucky hard, the force of the impact knocking the breath right out of you and once it’s gone you can’t get it back. It feels like his arms encompass the entirety of you as he holds you so tight your feet leave the ground. His chest rumbles with words but you can’t hear him, your ears are ringing and your chest is tight because panic attack, you dumbass. You press your face into Bucky’s neck and hope that’s enough to escape the scene unfolding around you.

“Get her out of here, I’ll deal with this,” you hear Natasha say somewhere behind Bucky but you refuse to lift your head to see.

Bucky attempts to pull away from you to look at Natasha, you can feel him try and twist his head but the inarticulate whine that rips from your throat stills the both of you. It’s mildly embarrassing, the sound you’ve just made, but it’s out there now. Bucky shifts his grip so one big palm rubs soothing strokes up and down your spine and you feel yourself becoming boneless with every pass of his hand.

“I’m not fucking lettin’ him get away with this,” Bucky says, low, threatening - if you were this Rumlow guy bleeding out on the ground, you would be afraid.

“And he won’t,” Natasha says, and then like she has to remind Bucky of his own thoughts, “but you have other priorities right now. Get her out of here.”

You feel Bucky nod, his scratchy chin moving against the top of your head. He kisses your temple and holds the back of your skull with one big palm, pressing your face further into his neck. It means you don’t see the carnage of the bar when he moves to place an arm around your shoulder and steer you out the door, stumbling under his guidance on shaky, cotton-fuzzy legs. He’s hurrying you, but as gently as he can. Once you feel the bright burn of sunlight on your skin you pull back from Bucky’s neck, blinking in the now empty street and Bucky’s piercing gaze as he looks down at you.

“Are you with me?” he asks, his hand dropping from your skull to squeeze the side of your neck. You still feel like you’re sipping each breath through a straw but you nod. You can see in his eyes he needs you to be with him right now, to get out of here, so you try and blink away the fuzzies in the corners of your vision and focus on his face.

“I’m sorry,” you say, and christ, now is not the time for that stinging pressure behind your eyes you hate so much. You hope Bucky understands - sorry for not listening to him, sorry for getting you both into this mess, sorry for not being strong when he needs you to be.

Bucky shakes his head vehemently, tugs you in harsh and strong by the grip he has on your neck to press a bruising kiss to your forehead. Your eyes flutter close at the fierce way he holds you, presses emotion into your skin like the tattoos littering his skin - a brand of your own, in the middle of this eerily empty street with the blood of strange men on both your hands. The thought makes you shake, so you twist your fingers in the hem of Bucky’s t-shirt and breathe him in deep.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he says, then pulls away from you. He grabs one of your hands from out under his shirt and links your fingers, beginning to drag you down the street. Looking back over his shoulder, he says with a grimace, “We gotta go.”

He leads you to his bike, squeezed between a brick wall and a dumpster in a side alley a block away from The Lerna. It roars to life before you’ve properly swung yourself on the back, and you aren’t bothering with helmets this time as Bucky eases the bike out from it’s tight spot with unsettling ease. All you can do is hold on tight and close your eyes as Bucky leads you away, weaving through the city in nonsensical loops before you feel the air open up around you and the familiar sounds of Brooklyn.

Bucky takes you to Steve’s tattoo in Red Hook, the first time you’re been back there since that fateful run-in with Natasha. You’ve checked out completely by the time Bucky parks - he has to lift you off the back of the bike because your legs won’t work, and he all but carries you inside. Steve is quick to rid the shop of the two customers looking at designs out front as Bucky settles you on the couch by the tattoo beds. You sink into the faded red leather without feeling a thing. Distantly, you notice the kid who usually mans the tills looking at you like you’ve grown a second head, and you suppose you deserve that.

“Stevie, I think she’s in shock,” you hear Bucky say, and the childhood nickname makes you smile. You watch Bucky’s face crease up deep concern at the dreamy look on your face, so you suppose you should stop smiling like a crazy person. A giant blonde head swims into your view, just as concerned, and he drapes a blanket around your shoulders.

“Bucky,” you say, your eyebrows drawing down as you fumble for his hand. He squeezes your fingers and mumbles something to Steve who leaves you again, his voice mingling with the kid’s somewhere over Bucky’s shoulder but you can’t focus on that. All you can do is swim in the back of Bucky’s too-deep stare and say, “I killed him.”

“No, no,” he says, shifting closer between your thighs as he kneels on the floor in front of you. This would be funny to you in any other moment, something to tease him for as he takes both your hands in his and squeezes them together, silently imploring you to stay looking at him. He says, “That’s not on you, sweetheart, it ain’t. You didn’t kill him.”

You’re crying now, properly, which you suppose is a good sign because you don’t think people in shock can cry. You watch as something cracks in Bucky’s eyes as he watches you break apart, but you can’t stop now you’ve started. You say, “I did, I killed him. How do you do it? How do you just- I feel like my throat’s gonna close up. How do you live past this?”

Bucky’s face darkens, smoothing out to something stone cold and frightening. You don’t feel scared, though, as he leans into your space so close you almost feel cross-eyed trying to stay glued to the blue of his eyes. He searches your face for something and says, no room for argument, “You did not kill that bastard, you hear me?”

“But-“

“No,” he says, simply, and that’s that. “The only reason you were in that position is because of me, doll, so no. You didn’t kill him. It’s on me, and I live with that so you don’t have to. You got that? You don’t ever have to live with that.”

You don’t know how he makes you feel like he’s physically reached into your chest and pulled out your guilt through your throat, but he does. You can see it clenched tight in his fist, his eyes shuttering down dark as he shoves it between his own teeth to hold. It’s too soon for the feelings clawing at your ribcage but you feel them just the same, that cigarette burn he left on your heart aching so bad you could scream from it. You extract a hand from his to run down his cheek, along his jaw, cupping his face in your palm. He closes his eyes, shudders as though swallowing down the guilt for the both of you.

I love you for that, you think to the soft flutter of his eyelashes against his cheeks. I’ll love you forever for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Natasha returns to the shop, and Sam bundles in not long after that, the four bikers sit around Steve’s prematurely closed tattoo shop and have a family meeting. You can’t help but feel like the kid who’s stayed up past their bedtime to try and hang with the adults, the words flying over their head and sleep pulling at their eyelids but they fight to stay awake anyway. Bucky pulls your head into his lap as he sits on the couch beside you, so you lie there and let him stroke your hair while they discuss what happened over the past two hours.

Two hours, and that’s all it’s taken for your whole world to spin on it’s axis. You’d learnt to throw knives at tree trunks with your dad as a fun, albeit unconventional after-school activity. And now you’ve buried a knife in someone’s neck, you’ve been kidnapped and tied to a chair and watched Bucky gun down men from a rooftop with his sniper rifle. He pulled the trigger with the same fingers he’s carding through your hair now, nails scratching at your scalp in a way that makes your toes tingle. How is that at all ok?

“We’ve started a turf war with Hydra, now,” Sam is saying, sitting backwards on a chair facing Bucky and spreading his hands out in a placating gesture as Bucky bristles. “It was unavoidable, alright, I’m just saying.”

“Not necessarily,” Natasha says. “Rumlow has had a vendetta against Bucky for years. He could’ve been acting alone.”

“It is strange we haven’t heard anything from Pierce,” Steve says thoughtfully. He is pressing an icepack to Natasha’s back, already bruising from where this Rumlow guy threw her into the wall. She’s lifting up her t-shirt and you can see a glimpse of a back piece standing out stark against her pale skin. Giant, feathered wings and a talon, a mosaic piece of what looks like a large hawk spanning the length of her spine.

“When Pierce finds out it was us that shot up his bar, though,” Sam says, making meaningful eyebrow movements to the group. They all nod thoughtfully and fall into silence.

None of these names make much sense to you - Hydra, Pierce, even Rumlow who you’ve gathered by now was your stalker. Was, because he’s dead now, and the thought turns your mouth dry and rusted. You shift in discomfort, drawing Bucky’s attention down to you as he gives you a concerned once over. He had done a thorough analysis for any injuries, even after you’d assured him you were fine, but you can tell he’s still unconvinced.

Unfortunately for you, all your wounds appear to be mental. They’re getting deeper by the second.

“I keep thinking,” you say to Bucky, “why was he so surprised I didn’t know where I was? Or who they were?”

“Hydra is our biggest rival,” Bucky says, and huffs a laugh at your crinkly brow so he clarifies, “They’re another gang, one we’ve had a lot of run-ins with. Rumlow especially. He wasn’t our biggest fan.”

“So he expected you to have told me about him, and Hydra,” you say, the name unfamiliar on your tongue. He nods, and you have to ask, “Why didn’t you?”

Bucky frowns at that. “I already told you - the more you know, the more dangerous it is.”

“And I already told you, no secrets,” you say, frowning just as deep. A beat passes and Bucky doesn’t budge, just glares down at you like he can physically bore his opinion into your brain and make it yours. Exasperated, you say, “Bucky, it didn’t matter anyway - the danger found me. Telling me things like that isn’t going to make a difference.”

“It would’ve if you’d listened to me and not done the stupid thing,” Bucky says, raising his eyebrows. He may have a point, but you aren’t going to back down that easily. Bucky knows you, he knows if you see a loose thread you’re going to pull it. The fact he thought you’d listen to him tell you what to do at all is laughable.

“This gang is your life,” you say, and you don’t bother to hide your frustration now, “They’re your family. I’m no safer not knowing what’s going on - I got stalked and kidnapped regardless. Clearly, it’s dangerous no matter what, so just tell me, Bucky. Whatever it is.”

Bucky stares at you for a long time. Steve, Natasha, Sam - they cease to exist in this room with you. Those first few weeks, when you refused to stay the night in Bucky’s bed and would only see him to fuck - you used to be scared of looking into those eyes for too long, for fear of getting lost. Now you dive head first, a part of you hoping you do get lost so you never have to find your way back out again.

Eventually, Bucky clenches his jaw tight and says, “You’re right.”

You blink, surprised. You hear Sam whisper to Steve, “did you record that?”, and honestly, you wanna ask the same thing. Except the way Bucky is look at you- dread curls thick and choking in your gut. You look up at Bucky and he seem so far away, out of reach even though you feel him all around you. He continues stroking your hair but it’s absentminded, his mind far away too.

You are drawn back to the tattoo shop by Sam saying, “I gotta say, Barnes, your girl is smart as hell. Keeping your phone on you and out-smarting Rumlow in a hostage situation? Pretty badass.”

Bucky smiles briefly down at you, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. You turn to Sam and say, “I got the impression out-smarting Rumlow isn’t really that hard.”

Everyone laughs at that, even Bucky, and it clears away some of the dread eating away at your stomach. But it’s still there, acidic and bubbling no matter what you do to smother it.

Eventually, they grow tired of talking in circles about Rumlow and Hydra and the possibility of the feds showing up (Bucky assures everyone the cops will find no rifling on the bullets and won’t be able to pin them to the crime scene, but Sam mutters heard that before and an argument erupts about some debacle in Bucharest so you tune out). Bucky takes you back to his apartment, tucked securely in his leather jacket in the best kind of shock blanket you could ever ask for.

For the first time, you noticed the tiny embroidered star on the sleeve of his jacket. You wonder if all Bucky’s friends have the same star on their jackets, because they’re not just friends, they’re a gang. One you feel suddenly, irrevocably intertwined with since they’re the only reason you aren’t sitting in a jail cell for murdering someone.

You feel jittery as you walk into Bucky’s apartment, almost nervous. It looks the same as this morning, the coffee cups you used for Steve and Bucky still in the sink and hoodie of his you’d worn last night draped over a chair. But everything is different, now. It’s all changed, there’s weird new shadows over everything long after Bucky turns on the light. You linger in the doorway to Bucky’s bedroom while he rummages around for sweats and jumpers, laying out a pair for you before he begins changing himself. He shucks off his t-shirt and you see his tattoo sleeve, the mottled scars hiding underneath, and your heart flies out of your throat before you can stop it.

“So do you guys have a fun, spooky name like Hydra or what?” you ask, closing your eyes with a grimace as soon as you ask the question. What are you, twelve? Bucky doesn’t answer and you’re too afraid to open your eyes too see the look on his face.

You’re startled when you feel him kiss your cheek, sensing his large frame towering over you and blocking out some of the soft bedroom light. You open your eyes to find him smiling down at you, laughing at you with his eyes as he says, “Not so spooky. Steve named us, he called us the Howling Commandos. The HC, for short.”

You crinkle your nose up at him and he flicks the tip with his ringed fingers. You say, “That’s very old-fashioned.”

“Nat teases him for it all the time,” he says, “She calls us her barbershop quartet.”

You smile, imagining Bucky in suspenders playing the accordion, and say, “Now that I like.”

The longer Bucky looks at you the more sober he becomes, mouth becoming pinched and jaw muscle ticking. He holds you soft by the biceps and walks you back until you hit the wall, still gentle, but bracketing you in now so all you can see is the weight of whatever complicated thing is running across Bucky’s face.

“You scared the fucking shit out of me today,” he says. He shifts, grips your jaw tight so his rings dig into your skin with none of the gentleness of before - he means this. “Never do that again.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, twisting in his tight grip to press a kiss to his fingertips. He softens, allows you to pull him in flush against you by his waist, his bare skin so warm under your hands. “And, thank you. I don’t- I guess I’ve never had someone come save me before, I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t thank me,” Bucky says, shaking his head. He kisses you, a rough press of chapped lips against yours and is gone again before you can react. Says, “I’m sorry, too.”

“Come back,” you say with a pout, and you have just enough time to see Bucky smirk down at you before he’s kissing you again. It’s just as fierce, almost painful, but the rough slide of it distracts from the burn in your chest and your racing thoughts like razorblades. You lick into his mouth, chasing away the ghosts nipping at your heels, and he presses you back into the wall with a thunk hard enough to leave a bruise on your tailbone tomorrow. You don’t care. It feels good to hurt in a way that’s physical.

The ease with which Bucky picks you up makes your head spin. It’s all you can do but pepper kisses along his stubbled jaw as he carries you to the bed, lips suddenly ripped from his skin as he dumps you on the covers. He is quick to follow, squashing you down with his tongue in your mouth before you can take another breath. This, you know. All the messy feelings and heartache and fearfearfear that beats in time with your heart, that maybe you’ll lose him or he’ll lose you and you came so close today, is unfamiliar to the both of you. But arching your back off the bed so he can take your shirt off, scrubbing your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck as he peppers kisses across your tits with a trail of goosebumps left behind - this is how you know Bucky best.

He makes quick work of your clothes and you fumble with his jeans, laughing into his mouth as he bats your hand away to do it for you. Bucky bites your bottom lip in playful admonishment and you chase his mouth as he tries to pull away. He places one big palm on your clavicle and pushes down, holding you against the bed. He shakes his head at you with a smile.

“Stay,” he says like he would to a dog, grinning wide as you glare at him. But you do as you’re told as he leans over you to grab a condom with his left arm. Maybe you bend the rules a little to trail kisses up the bits of his outstretched forearm you can reach. Over a shadowy skull, the stem of a rose, what looks like military windings near the crook of his elbow and tiny handwritten letters that spell S N S. Sam Nat Steve, because Bucky might be a tough guy to most but he’s a giant sap deep down.

Bucky shudders at your touch, and it makes you wonder if the scarring under his tattoos is extra sensitive. Or maybe he is just sensitive to anyone touching him in such a vulnerable place. You flick your eyes up to watch him watch you, lip drawn between his teeth and a dent between his eyebrows you ache to soothe if he wasn’t still holding you down. You don’t stop, even though he looks physically pained with every brush of your lips against his skin. You trace the edges of another small wolf with your tongue, like the ones on his chestpiece, and watch as his eyes flutter closed when you get close to the paper-thin skin of his inner wrist.

That hits Bucky’s limit. Suddenly his hand on your chest slides up to your neck and he’s leaning over you, left arm braced by your head and his mouth swallowing yours. You groan against his lips at the rough drag of his hands down your sides, gripping your waist tight enough to bruise. He makes your brain go fuzzy, the only coherent thoughts being Bucky and touch me more. He seems to understand. His fingers find your clit, smoothing slow circles which spark embers in the pit of your stomach. Bucky’s mouth falls open as yours does, as if to breath in the whine he draws from you.

“Fuck, you always sound so good,” Bucky groans. He buries his face into the side of your neck, taking advantage of your thigh trapped between his legs to rut against you while he continues playing with your clit. Every time Bucky gets filthy with you it’s like the first time, shocking and almost embarrassing in the sexiest way possible. Heat floods your cheeks and makes you lightheaded, unable to stop the moan he draws from you. You’re rewarded by Bucky’s teeth in your neck, the sensitive spot just over your pulse point, and if you’re being honest you could come just from this.

Bucky’s cock growing harder against your thigh, as his hips shift in rhythm with the circles he draws on your clit, becomes too difficult to ignore. To gain his attention you twist and nip at the closest piece of skin you can find, Bucky’s ear, and he engulfs you in a kiss which steals the breath right out of you. You buck your hips, hoping to nonverbally convey the demand get in me right now, and Bucky doesn't need any more hints than that.

He fumbles with the condom for a second and you take the time to sit up on your elbows and look at him. Bucky is so beautiful, drawn in harsh lines and stark contrasts. Tan skin turned paler against the opaque black of his tattoos, colour swirling in-between and it should be jarring, but you think he just looks like art. Bitten red lips, startling blue eyes pinning you to the mattress as he catches you staring - such bright, primary colours because he is a statement piece, and one you could look at forever.

Bucky grins almost bashfully as you stare at him, leaning back over you to kiss you soft and sweet in a sharp juxtaposition to the rough tumble which got you here. Again, he sends your head spinning when the tender kiss is punctuated by the unexpected push of Bucky’s cock in your cunt. He bottoms out before you can blink, throwing your head back out of the kiss with an untamed groan - both pleasure and pain, in the good way. Bucky drags his teeth from your lips down your chin and neck, biting a mark into your collarbone to set the tone for the bruising pace he creates as he pounds into you.

He doesn’t do anything in halves, you think. You gaze up at him with an almost dopey smile while Bucky fucks the literal breath out of you. You lift your hips to meet him as he bottoms out with every thrust, watching in awe as his face creases up in ecstasy - it’s you who brings him there. He palms your tits like he can’t help himself, loses control in your pussy because you make him feel that good, and the thought makes you giddy. Drunk, almost, as you drag your nails down his chest and nearly come once again just from the moan you draw out of this brilliant, dangerous, gorgeous man.

“You take it so well, baby, fuck,” Bucky pants, eyebrows creasing as the pleasure gets almost painful in its build. You know the feeling. Bucky’s mouth is always your undoing, rolling your eyes back into your head and the sounds you’re making turning positively feral. He kisses you again, more a slam of mouths than anything finessed, and says, “Never gonna get over this, never gonna get over how good you feel.”

“Bucky, you gotta-“

“I gotta what, huh?” Bucky grins at the pleasure-addled panic he brings you too, not wanting to come too fast but also needing to let go before you actually explode. He knows exactly what he’s doing, balancing on one hand to thumb harshly at your clit as he says, “You want me to stop? I don’t think so, sweetheart, I think you wanna come on my cock just like this, wanna hear me tell you how good you are, how sweet you are for me all laid out like this-“

Everything whites out as you come, hard, all your muscles spasming like crazy with the orgasm that rips through you. Bucky’s voice is drowned out, but it doesn’t matter what he’s saying anymore, he’s made you feel like you’ll never catch your breath again. Bucky thunks his forehead against yours, collapsing on top of you as the fluttering clench of your cunt around his cock becomes too much. His thrusts turn sloppy, his breath hot and ragged across your face as you press lazy, barely-there kisses to his cheeks - all you can muster in your fucked-out haze.

Bucky comes with his eyes closed, eyelashes tangling with yours, and you cling to him with all four limbs as he shakes through his orgasm. The release was so needed for the both of you, the events of the last twenty-four hours frying your nerves to the point where it was either fight, cry, or fuck. It feels so good to have Bucky on top of you, inside you, all around you in every single sense and it warms your heart in a way you didn’t know was possible until now. Until Bucky.

Maybe that’s the afterglow talking, and you should stop. But you can’t help but press another kiss to Bucky’s cheek, and another, over his nose and across his still-closed eyelids until you reach his mouth and he can kiss you back just as soft. You hope he gets it. You hope he feels it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You go to see your dad, eventually. The chaos of yesterday kept you attached to Bucky’s hip - you showered together in the morning, and he allowed you to pretend it was just the water and not tears soaking your face. But he made you cuddle with him on the couch and fed you an omelette like you were incapable of feeding yourself, and maybe you were, because the reality of what happened in that shitty Manhattan bar was starting to eat away at your executive functions. It took all of your strength to convince Bucky you would be ok and that you’d come back to him as soon as you were done, but it was time to pull on a thread you’ve been ignoring for far too long.

It turns out, that paranoid over-questioning part of your brain doesn’t turn off even during a traumatic event. Your dad lets you in without a word, tugging you into a side hug as you both walk to the kitchen to make tea.

The house you grew up in has taken on a different light since the Lerna. The kitchen chairs aren’t the same, reminding you too much of ziptied wrists and a gun in your face. Why can you superimpose the memory of Rumlow holding you hostage to one you have of being eleven and tied to a chair by your father? You shouldn’t be able to do that.

He nudges your hip, jerking you out of your staring contest with the dining chairs, and offers you a mug of tea. You both sit at the table, either end, the fruit bowl a mediator between you. He looks tired, old, like he always has somehow in your memories from childhood. He’s still your dad, the same man who always been there because he’s all you’ve ever had. He loves you, you know does. Ya lyublyu tebya, luna. But he has always been the first to say your paranoid streak runs a mile deep, and once you find a thread-

Well. Everyone knows how that ends.

“Do you want to talk about it?” your dad asks, and it’s like he knows you aren’t here to ask for boy advice or moan about a case or your skyrocketing rent.

There’s a lot you want to talk about. Why did I learn to throw knives instead of joining the soccer team, like normal kids? Why did I learn how to survive an interrogation instead of going to sleepovers, like normal kids? Why did you train me to question everyone and everything in this world, but I’ve always blindly believed you? Like a normal kid would, you suppose, the only normal you’ve ever really gotten. Always believing your dad is the superhero of six-year-old dreams, someone who would never keep you in the dark.

“No,” you say, taking a sip of tea. It burns your tongue to numbness, but you can’t bring yourself to care. We had the secret language for only us - why did I never think you might have secrets from me as well? You grimace into your tea and say, “Not right now, I’m sorry.”

“Tayny budut presledovat tebya vechno, malysh,” he says. Secrets will haunt you forever, little one.

You don’t dare look up from your tea as you say, “Ya dumayu, ty by znal vse ob etom.” I guess you’d know all about that.

He gives you leftover curry in a carry bag when you leave. Kisses you on the cheek and lets you go, but you can feel him watching you the entire time it takes you to walk down the street and out of sight. As soon as you round the corner you retch into the nearest bush, a well-manicured rose which you silently apologise to as it gets covered in your bile.

This guilt isn’t something Bucky can save you from - it feels like it’s eating you alive. You had never, ever thought you would get to the point where you’d be leaving a bug stuck to the underside of your dad’s kitchen table, but you suppose you never thought you’d be stalked and kidnapped either. You wipe the your mouth with the back of your hand as your stomach finishes emptying itself of tea and betrayal, and try to tell yourself you won’t find anything, you're just being paranoid. But you know you will.

Maybe you always have, and that’s why you’ve been too scared to pull on the thread you’ve known has been dangling in the back of your mind since you were a kid. Just one secret you wanted to leave, one dark corner you didn’t want to shine a light into. That’s never been in your nature. You spit the foul, acidic taste from your mouth onto a poor, innocent rose bud and think with just as much bitterness as the bile coating your throat, that’s not who my dad raised me to be.

Part 7

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x reader fic #bucky barnes x reader fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic #reader insert #reader insert fic #pov #pov fic #biker!bucky #biker!bucky fic #biker!bucky au #biker au #11 hours #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #brock rumlow

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vroomian · 4 years ago

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okay so i had the thought: what would my non-yrz ocs be doing in the mdzs universe? and then the idea just kinda ate my brain for a while.

Hana - youngest child of wen ruohan, the only daughter, and the heir. she’s wrh’s pride and joy, the child everyone has to measure up to. she surpassed wen xu by age ten. wen chao wasn’t even an afterthought. she’s as stupidly competent at cultivation as she is at everything else. ambivalent to her family and sect, doesn’t even care enough to hate them. super fucking detached, because she didn’t even have kise to ground her in this life. instead, she has i wzl. even though she doesn’t need protection, she’s still the heir, the future of the wen. wzl is hana’s only human connection among the wens. yikes. stabs wrh to death when he starts going evil overlord. feels nothing about it -- she just thought a war would be annoying. wzl says nothing, because -- what can he say? she’s the sect leader now. almost certainly ends up with wen qing, as the only one who’s not high keyed terrified of her. low key terrified, sure! hana will take what she can get. (then time passes and -- it’s hard to be terrified when you’re furious at your stupid sect leader b/c hana is just the fucking worst patient)(hana worries wen qing. it’s like she doesn’t care if she lives or dies). Name: Wen Hui (to destroy by fire, lol subtle wrh), courtesy name Ronghua (glory and splendor, also hua is the same character for flower!)(she gets a courtesy name because she’s not a Disappointment like her brothers)

Masae - he’s Jiang (possibly younger brother of Jfm??) for five minuets before he gets bored and wanders off. hailed as a divine healer. possibly a demonic cultivator? really fucking good at talismans. Ue is a cursed blade, or a spirit parasite that attached masae and got attached emotionally masae never bothered to like. get rid of it. possibly they still eat people? maybe a venom type situation?? anyway, i know that one day masae trips over xue yang and is charmed when nine year old xue yang threatens to stab him to death in increasingly creative ways. adorable. he basically kidnaps xue yang to be his son/disciple (does xue yang end up more well adjusted or less??? i’ll leave that up to you). also very fond of meng yao when they meet, b/c of course he is. still marries this world version of aizen perhaps??? Name: Jiang Zhen (blessing), courtesy name Baituo (to cast off (old ideas))

Oc!Kiba - Jin!!!!! Not main line, but i feel like he’d be related to jin zixun b/c kiba can’t catch a break tbh. adjusts slightly better to being among the snakes of koi tower than the dogs of the inuzuka. he’s an orphan. a nobody. there’s like, three people who know his name among the jin. He’s a master of anything related to going unnoticed or information gathering. by the time he’s twelve madame jin has payed him to slip impotence drugs into jin guangshan’s cup for a year straight and he never gets caught. he hears and sees pretty much everything, because he’s so low-key. has dirt on e v e r y o n e. yes, even you. blackmail is a beautiful thing. sometime in the future, he might defect? or take over the sect via puppet master strings?? honor is for suckers. very nervous and quiet as a kid, but grows into the living version of that one song line ‘if your boyfriend says he’s got beef, tell him i’m a vegitarian and i ain’t fucking scared of him’ real quick. it takes meng yao three full years to even notice that kiba is not what he seems. probably assassinates jqs and doesn’t feel bad about it.(you know what? yrz would kill to have kiba’s super power of invisibility. the world is so unfair) Name: Jin Wu (fog/mist/vapor), courtesy name Yinmo (to vanish gradually/ to disappear/ to fade out). (doesn’t get the zi character b/c he’s not mainline jin)

Jeong - tbh, i had a tough time with this one. I think they probably started off with Baoshan Sanren, but came down the mountain, and joined the Nie after a rough few years among the common people. the Nie creed of facing evil and protecting the innocent would appeal to them the most. They joined the sect a few years before Papa Nie qi deviated. when he did deviate, they killed him so nmj wouldn’t have too. nmj is grateful, but it also takes him years to fully forgive them. in ‘penance’ jeong became nhs’s personal guard because they had previous experience body guarding (the whole king killer thing still, uh. it happened). also it takes a burden off nmj’s shoulders to know that one of the most powerful people in the sect is watching over his little brother. (there may have been a few attempts on nhs’s life before this by the wen). nhs is thrilled by this, b/c jeong is notoriously easy going when they’re not in training mode, and all children naturally love jeong. really fucking sturdy, even for a cultivator. might actually be immortal by this point. not quite human? might’ve known cangse sanren, depending how long they were on the mountain. Name: Chénfú (ebb and flow, or rise and fall, or sinking and floating) Sanren (b/c if wwx’s mom can use the name so can jeong).(nhs and all the nie kids call them Renren lol).

#yall mind if i just #word vomit #vrrm vrrm #vrrm writes #bbp #fuf #idwtlotm #hh #crossover town #too many ideas!!

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miss-scientia · 4 years ago

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Unrequited Love

Hi all, (everyone who is still here that is!) just a random post by me! Not totally random actually. I was just going through my old documents and I found a FFXV one shot I had completely finished but never posted for some reason. I re-read it and actually quite liked it, so I thought I’d stop by and post it for anyone still around! It’s a bit of slight Noctis angst, I hope you enjoy if you read!

(Also, I stop by from time to time and see notifications still popping up. You are all still so lovely!)

Prompto x Reader x Noctis (kind of!) SFW This is a long one!

She had confessed her feelings to him at the beginning of their journey, but he’d rejected them to stick to his duty. After a while she moved on and started dating Prom, which is... great! Fantastic really! Then why did he feel so shitty...?

Noctis was sure, he thought to himself as he shuffled around in his sleeping bag, that the six had a pretty sick sense of humour. They had to have, judging by his current predicament. Either that, or he had done something really, really, really bad in a past life to deserve this.

Gods above it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that he was the one chosen to be the king of kings, having his future laid out and already planned for him. It wasn’t fair that he had to marry Luna, an area in life where he ought to have control, yet had none. And it certainly wasn’t fair that the actual girl he was in love with, was with someone else.

And that someone was his best friend.

To make matters worse, she had previously admitted feelings for Noctis too, early on in their journey. But he’d had to say no, that he was already betrothed to another, that he couldn’t do that to Luna or his family. A familiar sinking feeling clawed at Noctis’ gut as he recalled that day, the regret of his words churning in his stomach.

What an idiot.

How different life could’ve been if he’d only told her how he felt that day. Instead, he had kept his lips sealed and she had moved on. Unfortunately, to a certain blond haired sharp shooter.

Although he had his back to them, Noctis could hear them both now, whispering to each other in a shared sleeping bag. Did they have to be so... so affectionate? Constantly touching, constantly giggling. It was like they lived to torture him.

Noctis stifled a groan, the pit in his stomach growing ever deeper. The whispering of the two finally ceased, and Noctis was about to send a silent thanks to the gods, before an odd sound stopped him.

Are they...?

A sharp wet sound emanated from behind him, confirming his suspicions. They were making out, completely unaware of the wide awake prince laid only mere inches away from them.

I must’ve done something absolutely awful in a previous life.

Before he could prevent it, a perfect picture of the scene behind him had appeared in his mind; her wrapped tightly against Prompto’s body, his arms tight against her, pulling her to his frame. Their lips locked in a heated kiss, eyes communicating their sheer desperation for each other.

It was like a knife had impaled his stomach. The mental image paired with the the all too real sounds behind him was enough to make him queasy. The thing was though, he couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry at either of them. He had rejected her, and she had ended up with Prom - why shouldn’t they have got together? It was neither of their fault, no. Could he even blame himself however? Was it his own fault, even though he’d been born into this life with all of his future, all of his destiny already set out for him? Was it his fault for following his duty? He wasn’t certain, but he was damn sure that it sucked.

Curling his fingertips into the soft material of his pillow, Noctis attempted to block out the almost heavenly sighs that fell from her lips. Slowly he drifted off, plagued with thoughts of how if only he had the chance, he could make her sigh like that...

The ever delicious scent of Ignis’ cooking drifted to your nose as the evening meal was presented to you and your camp mates. Your stomach grumbled in anticipation, desperate for fuel after the exhausting day you’d all had. “I dunno if it’s because I’m ravenous, or if you’ve done an extra special job of it tonight Iggy, but this is the best meal I’ve ever laid my eyes upon!” Your boyfriend Prompto sighed dramatically from beside you, eyes lighting up as he was handed his food.

“Kid’s right Iggy, this is good stuff.” Gladio nodded, already digging into his larger than average portion.

“Mmmmph...” came your almost orgasmic sigh of agreement.

“Well, thank you everyone, but I dare say that I haven’t done anything extra special tonight. Perhaps we were all ready for a meal after our rather busy day.” Ignis modestly brushed aside the compliments, but you could tell he was pleased by the corners of his mouth rising, fighting to hide the beam threatening to reveal itself.

You were halfway through your food before you realised that Noctis hadn’t said a word since sitting down. Casting your eyes over to the prince, you saw his figure sitting rather slumped over on the floor opposite you. One hand gripped a fork rather loosely as he stabbed the utensil repeatedly into the same carrot, in and out, over and over. His brow line puckered slightly, the hints of a frown forming over his dull looking eyes. It struck you that he sort of looked like... he was sulking. And now you thought about it, he’d been really grumpy all day, unresponsive and quiet.

Wonder what’s up with him? You thought, glancing once more. Strands of his jet black hair fell into his eyes, causing him to blink those long lashes and sweep his head slightly to clear his vision.

Your heart stuttered.

As much as you didn’t want it, he was still able to get you like that. One little move of his head or gesture of his hands, and it shook you again just how pretty he was.

It truly was hard to forget about your first love.

Drawing your eyes away you searched for another familiar pair, gaze landing on the ever smiling, ever warm face of your boyfriend and immediately you felt better. As much as Noctis could sometimes catch you off guard, you knew for certain you loved Prompto. There was no doubt there.

“You okay [Name]?” His kind face and genuine smile had you smiling back instantly.

“Sure am Prom.” You replied, resting a hand on his knee. Naturally, his hand rested on top of yours, warm and safe.

“What’s the matter with you prince sulks?” Gladio voiced your earlier question, albeit a little more teasingly. Everyone stopped eating to glance over at the Prince in question.

Noctis shot Gladio a glare, his eyes clearly saying ‘don’t even start’.

“Is there something on your mind that you wish to share?” Ignis asked this time, much more accommodatingly.

“No. Why, does it look like it?” His voice was gruff, annoyed. There was definitely something up.

“Well, you’ve not really said much since coming back, and you’ve barely touched your food.” You offered.

“Yeah pal, is there anything we can help with?” Prompto offered his best friend, leaning forward so he could pat his leg.

Finally Noctis looked up, but as you caught his expression your heart sank. He looked mighty pissed.

“I said there isn’t anything. Why do you guys have to push me all the time?”

Prompto blinked, taken aback by his friend’s blunt tone.

“I just wanted to see if there’s anything I could do to-”

“Well there isn’t Prompto. There’s nothing that anyone can do, okay?” The prince snapped, rising to his feet.

Prompto’s face fell, and that was like someone had pressed the anger button on inside you. You were suddenly furious. How could he talk like that to his best friend?

“What the hell is up with you?” Standing to your feet, you walked over to the sulky prince.

“Nothing, [Name].”

“Nothing? So you think you can talk to people like that because... because nothing?”

Noctis looked at you, fully frowning now, agitation apparent in his ocean blue eyes.

“Guys, I think we should just cool it...” Prompto’s quiet voice attempted to cut the tension which was now crackling in the air.

“I agree, Noctis I’m not sure what’s wrong, but we must-”

“I’d have been fine if people had just left me alone.” Noctis cut over Ignis.

“Sorry that people care about you.” You retorted, anger still clouding your better judgement.

“Yeah well, I never asked for people to. I never asked for any of this.”

“You ungrateful little-”

“Noctis.” Gladio’s voice stopped you from finishing your sentence. He hadn’t shouted, hadn’t raised his voice, but his deep rumbling tone halted you. “I think you should go and take a walk. Cool down. Come back when you have a better head on, cause this is going no where.”

“Tch, fine.” Noctis grumbled, but turned on his heel and stalked off into the night, leaving the four of you hurt, annoyed and confused.

The campsite seemed overly quiet now that the prince was gone, suffocatingly so. Every cough and every shuffle was heard, adding to the already tense atmosphere.

“I just don’t understand. It’s not like him.” Prompto said for the fifth time. He was anxiously picking at the hem of his shirt, pulling at a loose thread. Every so often you had to lay your hand atop his to remind him to stop before it became threadbare.

“I know what you mean, I don’t get what’s up with him.” Gladio sighed and stretched.

“Perhaps his last comment gave us some insight? He said he never asked for any of this. He has never been overly fond on what his future holds in store for him...” Ignis offered a solution in a quiet speculative tone. You almost scoffed however.

“It still doesn’t give him the right to talk to his best friend like dirt.” Prompto squeezed your hand in silent thanks, but you knew that the blond wasn’t even angry. In fact, you correctly assumed that he was more worried for Noctis’ safety right now.

Pure person through and through.

“I do wish we could know where he went.” Ignis sighed, guardian-like instincts kicking in.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine specs, he’ll come back when he’s ready.” Gladio attempted to appease Ignis, to no avail.

You had a pretty good idea of where Noctis might have headed to, thinking back to the car journey earlier on that day. The only time when the prince had shown remotely any interest in what was going on around him is when you had driven past a very large lake. It was highly plausible that he’d gone to check it out. The more you thought about it, the more that you were certain this is where he’d have headed. And the more you thought about it, the more you realised you could remember the way there. And the more you thought about that, the more you realised this was a good a chance as any to have a proper conversation with him. And to possibly lecture him on how to actually talk to his best friend.

I can go there, yank him back here and make him apologise.

Looking over at Prompto’s anxious face, his top front teeth gently nibbling on his lower lip, you knew this was the right thing to do. You stood up quite forcefully, drawing the attention of the other three boys.

“[Name]...?”

“I’m going to go find him, and bring him back. Then I’m going to get him to apologise.”

Ignis sighed, Gladio nodded, and Prom...

“Are you sure you want to do that [Name]?” He stammered, looking torn between some inner dilemma.

“I’m sure. I think I know where to look, but I’ll be fine. I can’t have him talking to you like that Prom. I can’t.”

“He was just angry, he didn’t mean it.”

“Well then, he can just say sorry when I drag him back here.” You told Prompto with a reassuring smile. The blond boy finally smiled back, standing up to face you.

“Thank you [Name]. Be safe.” He told you, and with a quick kiss you set off in search of one sulky prince to bring home.

Just as you’d expected, Noctis had made his way over to the lake that your group had passed earlier. You could see his silhouette from where you stood; his shadowed figure sat crossed legged on the wooden pier which stretched out into the middle of the lake. The perfect fishing spot, yet he wasn’t fishing.

Well shit, there’s gotta be something really wrong with him then.

It hadn’t taken you all too long to get there since you knew which paths to take, however it was still a rather long way away from where your group had pitched the tent. It had been a miracle that no daemons had attacked you, dark as it was out. You wondered how long the prince had been sat there, not fishing, just sitting and watching the lake.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out from your hiding spot and marched all the way down to the lake, stopping to stand a few feet away from Noctis. He didn’t move upon your arrival, showed no sign that he was even aware of your presence.

You cleared your throat.

“Noctis?”

“[Name]?” Was his reply, quiet but with a hint of sullen sarcasm you knew well. Swallowing the biting response you wanted to give, you instead replied;

“What are you doing out here?”

He didn’t answer straight away, still looking down at his hands. In fact, he took so long to answer that you weren’t sure if he’d even heard you. But then finally;

“It’s peaceful out here. When it’s night like this, lakes always seem that much more... tranquil. Kinda makes me feel like time has stopped, at least in this little area, y’know?” His reply startled you a little, it hadn’t been what you were expecting. And looking around the lake, you could kind of see what he meant. But as lovely as the lake was, you weren’t here to discuss that. You had a purpose in mind for travelling all the way out here, and feeling sorry for the prince wasn’t it.

“Noctis, I don’t really understand your train of thought right now, but what I do know, is that you snapped at everyone and left your best friend feeling highly confused and rather hurt.” He could probably hear the accusatory edge to your voice.

Well, good.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I just hate it when everyone is pushing me.”

“Yeah, well y’did.”

“I know that [Name].” He finally turned to look at you, those ocean blues flashing with a hint of frustration. “Don’t think I don’t know that, cause I do. It makes me feel worse than I already do, alright?”

You folded your arms. “Then come back and apologise.”

“Tch, I’m not going back there yet.” He mumbled, his eyes dropping once more. This only annoyed you further.

“So, it makes you feel bad, and yet... you’re not gonna apologise for what you’ve done? Is that it?”

“N-n... that’s not what I said.” The prince suddenly sprang to his feet, his body towering over you. He was getting worked up at your words, the biting remarks nibbling away at his ability to think clearly enough to explain himself coherently.

“You aren’t the only one going through some tough shit, okay?” You snapped, unaware at his inner turmoil.

“Obviously! I never once said- it’s really hard for me to- just stop pushing me, alright?”

“No. If you won’t apologise then we at least get to know what’s got that stick so far up your butt!” You drew yourself up to try and make yourself look taller. There was no way he was worming out of this one, and you could tell he knew. He could sense your determination, his eyes betraying the slightest hint of panic within the frustration.

“[Name], seriously, you-”

“No Noctis! We’re sick of it! We can’t even help you if you don’t explain.”

“You can’t help me.”

“Why not? What is it Noctis?” Your voice was sharp but your eyes were gentle. Underneath all of your annoyance, you really did just want to help your friend.

“[Name], really, you don’t-”

“What is it?”

“I’m telling you, you’re not-”

“What is it?”

“[Name]-!”

“Just tell me what it is!”

“It’s you!”

You paused, the words you were about to say dying in your throat. It was... you? You were the reason he was acting this way? Unease swirled in your stomach.

I’ve been making him feel like this...?

Noctis was almost panting, seeming out of breath from your shouting match. Although he seemed weary, he did not look as if he regretted saying so.

“It’s...me?” You whispered, his answer throwing you completely. Noctis sighed heavily, one hand rising to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. Suddenly he almost seemed... tired.

“Look... that came out wrong, okay? It’s not... it’s not just you.”

“But I... I’ve done something to hurt you?” The crack in her voice at the end of the sentence physically pained him to hear, made him want to take back everything he’d just said. He’d suffer with it all internally if he never had to hear her sound pained again.

“[Name], it’s not something you’ve done. Please, just let it go.” Noctis pleaded, knowing his efforts would more than likely be futile. Slowly he turned away from her, walking once again to the edge of the wooden beams to sit down, dangling his legs only centimeters above the calm lake. Not looking at her made this easier. Her crumpled expression only further pained his heart, and it was getting hard to quell the need to comfort her as it was.

Gentle padding sounds as she walked to sit next to him told him she wasn’t going to give up that easily. Frustrated, he repressed a groan.

Not. Fucking. Fair.

“Noctis...whatever I’ve done, I want to know. It was never my intention to hurt you.”

Of course it wasn’t, pure soul that she was.

Her quiet tone caused him to sneak a peek at her from the corner of his eye. She was sat close to him, legs dangling, an almost mirror of his pose. All traces of previous anger had been washed from her face, instead, confusion and remorse took its place.

He hated that he was responsible for it.

“Honestly, there really isn’t anything you could have done about it. I’m not sure there’s anything anyone could have done about it. My future has been set since day one, I don’t have a say in this stuff... and I sure as hell don’t have a say in who I fall in love with either.”

A quick intake of breath from his immediate right caused him to realise what he’d just said out loud.

Shit!

His head snapped to look at her fully now. She was turned to him, eyes wide in shock as the realisation of what he’d just admitted sunk in. Quickly he began to try and explain.

“[Name], I-”

“That’s not fucking fair.” Her voice was dull as she cut over him. To his surprise, tears quickly gathered in the corner of her eyes which were rapidly becoming tinted with red. She was... really upset. He had been expecting anger. Not sadness.

“That’s really un-fucking-fair of you Noctis. You know... you know how I felt about you. It took a while to get over that rejection.”

“I’m sorr-”

“You don’t get to say that to me now Noctis! I’m with Prompto, I’ve moved on! I picked myself up and carried on living, you can’t just, just waltz back in and say that. It’s not fair!”

“I know.” He uttered, so softly it was as if he was speaking to himself. It was your turn to be surprised at the sadness of his tone. A few moments of silence passed between the both of you, your eyes trained on the almost black waters beneath you. It was hard to really believe what he’d admitted... he loved you?

Noctis broke the silence first with a soft sigh. Well, if the cat was out of the bag, he may as well try and explain himself.

“I tried so hard to stop it. Y’know? I knew it wasn’t fair, believe me, that’s all I’ve been saying these past few months. Not fair on you, Prom, or me. But, [Name],” He took a deep breath; “you’ve no idea how fucking hard it is when I see you cuddled up to him every night.”

Her eyelids fluttered shut as he spoke, a little pucker forming between her brows as she frowned slightly. There it was again, that look of pain. But he couldn’t stop explaining now he’d started, it would be better to get to the bottom of it.

“It’s not like I resent either of you. Honestly, I was happy for the both of you. But I also felt like absolute shit. Took me a while to realise why, guess I’ve never been one to be clued up about their emotions.”

That earned him a slight snort.

“Yeah, guess that’s no secret either, right?” His words were tinged with regret.

Chancing a glance her way he saw that her eyes were still closed. However, she made no move to stop him explaining, so he continued, eager to finally get it out in the open.

“So when I finally realised how I felt about you... well, the fact that it was far too late sucked. And it just got me thinking, if my life wasn’t so predestined, if I had even a little bit of control over areas of my life where I really should, then we’d be together. We’d be together right now [Name]. No pre-arranged wedding duties. And it’s just been eating at me how little of a choice I get over pretty much everything in my life. Then listening to you and Prom giggling and enjoying each other every night... I just wanted that.”

Finally he petered off, letting the weight of what he’d said hang in the air. It was like the burden had finally been lifted from his shoulders - she knew how he felt. He’d told her, in probably the longest speech he’d ever given in his life, and it just felt good to not have it burning him from the inside.

Although that may all go to shit the next time her and Prom start sucking face again. He almost grimaced at the thought.

The seconds ticked by in what felt like hours, she didn’t breath a word. Shyly Noctis turned to face her again, noticing her eyes were finally open, wide and [e/c], staring right back at him. The whites of her eyes were tinged a deeper red, and fresh tears had collected in her lids. His heart almost broke. He wanted to stop the crying, comfort her, take it all back, anything to stop her tears.

Undecidedly, he lifted his hand, fingers outstretched to rest on her shoulder, but froze in mid air.

“[Name], you don’t know how sorry I am.” He whispered, and she replied with a quiet sob from deep in her throat.

Before he knew what he was doing, the one sound caused him to finally reach out to her, close the distance between them. In no time at all, his strong arms were wrapped around her shoulders, her waist. Her head buried in the crook of his neck, holding her close as she sobbed. His fingers rubbed soothing circles into her back as he held her, noticing with a sick, ironic pleasure that they fit together so well. Like his arms had been made to fit her body exactly.

Could this get any worse? He was comforting her.

But she’s not yours.

They fit together perfectly, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together at last.

But she’s not yours.

She was all he wanted. But she wasn’t his to have.

Fuck, this sucks.

Noctis wasn’t sure how long he sat there, holding her. Time truly seemed at a stand still; they were lost in this little hidden part of nature. He wasn’t sure when her tears finally stopped, but he could feel her breathing return to normal, her silent sobs no longer racking her chest. Still, he couldn’t let her go. Didn’t dare move for fear of breaking this moment with her, her face gently buried into the side of his neck, wrapped in his embrace. He knew it would never happen again, despite how much he wanted it.

It couldn’t.

“Noctis?” Her voice was soft, thick from the tears she’d shed.

“Yes?” They were almost whispering, but in the tranquil quiet of the night, the sound seemed to echo in his skull.

“I’m in love with Prompto.”

“I know.” His reply was gentle, but the feeling in his heart was anything but. The admission shouldn’t have been a surprise to him, he’d known it for a while. He could tell just by how she looked at him, the pure adoration for Prom in her heart. It still hurt. He wished she’d look at him like that.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He uttered, one hand absentmindedly reaching up to tuck a stray hair back behind her ear.

“It’s me who should be apologising. To everyone back at camp, but mostly to you. It wasn’t fair for me to dump all of my baggage on you like that. I just... felt I had to.”

“No... I’m glad you did.” She had lowered her voice, and it came out slightly mumbled into his shoulder, but it meant the world to him anyway. It felt like she’d accepted what he said, and that was the best he could hope for right now.

“Thank you [Name].” He whispered, his voice trailing off, leaving what he wished he could say hanging in the air between them both.

I love you.

#hope this was okay for such a random post!#I just felt like there was no sense in deleting it #I also kind of thought about making two branches off where maybe you could choose who to be with?#Anyway #what would you do dear reader?#final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy fic #final fantasy fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #Noctis Lucis Caelum #prince noctis #noctis x reader #noctis lucis caelum x reader #prompto argentum #prompto x reader #prompto x reader x noctis

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quitetheoppositeofcalm · 4 years ago

Text

The Moment I Knew

Hey! This is the first thing I’m going to be posting. This is for any female readers, with no description. There is no name for your MALE s/o or friends. So if you wanted a Tom Holland x reader or Tony Stark x reader, or whoever you want. It is NOT in chronological order for the memory bits, just warning you. I did my best to base it off of the song by Taylor Swift and I’m quite happy with what I created. Hope you like it <3

Pairing: anyone x reader

Summary: y/n’s boyfriend was never on time and barely showed up when he was supposed to. It became a constant thing, that it started to hurt when he went back on his word.

Warnings: a lil bit of swearing, quite a bit of angst, crying, disappointment

Word Count: 3,458

Song Inspiration: The Moment I Knew, Taylor Swift

Note: Italics = memories, Bold = song lyrics

youtube

y/n had checked her phone one last time, as the last few guests walked through her door. a quick look and there was no sign of him. instead of showing her disappointment, she smiled and greeted the others, leaving her phone on the counter as she started to mingle with her guests. after all they were here for her, so she might as well put on a happy face and wait.

her smile was forced as she caught up with old friends. she was tempted to pick up her phone and look for any messages that would have her heart leap into her throat from seeing his name on her screen. but she resisted because of his silly smile on her lock screen would have her giddy and her heart would ache with no reply from him. y/n didn’t want too much heartbreak on today of all days.

You should've been there

Should've burst through the door

With that "Baby, I'm right here" smile

y/n was waiting for him to meet her at the park. she had to wait for half an hour until he responded, saying he got caught up in practicing his guitar. she tore her attention from her phone as she looked around the park for any sign of him. her breath hitched in her throat as she met his warm eyes. his hair was tousled as he ran another hand through it, walking straight to y/n. a small smile graced his lips, embracing her in a warm and tight hug that made her heart leap into her throat.

“hey.” he said softly, slowly pulling from the hug.

“hey.” her voice was quiet and small, still recovering from hugging him. he always had that starstruck effect on her, even after all these years of knowing each other.

“i’m sorry i was late, it is inexcusable and i kept you waiting. i get so distracted that it’s sometimes hard to pull my attention away from things.” he apologized quickly, his arms still around her, but there was distance. distance that y/n wanted to close because he was so warm and comforting.

“it’s fine. i’m just happy you’re here.” she replied, a soft smile gracing her lips as he kissed her cheek softly.

“well, where would you like to stroll, miss?” his voice mocking a posh british butler’s with his chin up, a mischievous glint in his eyes. her smile was brighter than the stars that were above them as they did their weekly nighttime stroll.

And it would've felt like

A million little shining stars had just aligned

And I would've been so happy

y/n and her friends all had different colors on their faces, reflected from the christmas lights hung around the house. she turned away from the group, saying she needed another glass of champagne and offered to get anyone else a refill. she headed towards the kitchen, facing away from the front door as she poured more champagne into the glasses.

a small sigh escaped her red painted lips, as she looked over at the front door with the porch light on. just waiting for someone to walk through. the sky turned into a beautiful sunset, nearly time for dinner. and no sign of him. so she headed back to the group, trying to force the ball of hurt in her chest to disappear as the night carried on.

Christmas lights glisten

I've got my eye on the door

Just waiting for you to walk in

But the time is ticking

“you know how next week is my birthday right?” y/n asked, looking up from her book to the man on the other side of the couch. he glanced over, nodding with little attention towards her. she moved her legs from his lap and crawled towards him. “are you going to come over early?”

“i don’t think i will. i have to finish up a few things for work, but i should be there.” he responded, a small frown on his face.

she ignored the stab towards her heart, from him going back on his word but focused on the positive. “just as long as you come.”

“i will be there, y/n. don’t worry.”

a reassuring smile in her direction, had the two of them back to focusing on their own things and the topic dropped with no worries.

People ask me how I've been

As I comb back through my memory

How you said you'd be here

You said you'd be here

there were only a few decorations around her house, with a small tree in the middle of her living room. it had just been decorated earlier in the day, after y/n had tried waiting for him to show up earlier. like he said he would. she shook away the disappointment and called her friends to dinner.

y/n watched her friends, standing in her red dress and matching red lipstick. she realized that her dress didn’t have the purpose she wanted with the people who had shown up. she wanted to impress him tonight. to make him as starstruck as she always is around him. turns out it wasn’t going to go as planned.

And it was like slow motion

Standing there in my party dress

In red lipstick

With no one to impress

“come on, y/n. let’s go together. just forget about him and the whole male species.” an old childhood friend said, pulling her towards the small gathering of old friends.

“i really don’t want to. he will explain why he didn’t show up or reply to my messages. he isn’t as technology based as we are.” y/n defended him quickly. an upsetting feeling landed in the pit of her stomach as she started to dwell on the possibilities of why he wasn’t responding.

“just have some fun for a few hours, and then you can go back to moping about him.” the friend replied and y/n decided the best way for them to get off her case was to just agree with no complaints. so she made her way inside, the cool air of the AC running, relieved her of the hot from the summer air outside.

within a few hours the small group of old friends were laughing together, y/n feeling like she was the black sheep of the group. every time her phone buzzed, she quickly looked to see if it was him, but it resulted in just a social media notification which was irrelevant to her. she looked around the room, her heart aching for the man who was missing.

And they're all laughing

As I'm looking around the room

But there was one thing missing

And that was the moment I knew

an hour or two after dinner, she was busy cleaning up from the recent attempt at beer pong. all of the others were outside on her deck, chatting and enjoying the cool night air. she wanted to have the rest of the night alone to mope around and cry, but didn’t want to kick out her friends for her own selfish reason. after cleaning the dining room table and the kitchen, she was about to finish drying the last dish, when she dropped the glass.

the sound of glass breaking was heard through the house, followed by a shriek. a few of her friends, who were his friends first, came to see what had happened and found her holding back tears as she swept up the mess.

And the hours pass by

Now I just wanna be alone

“meet some of my closest friends, sweetheart.” he had taken her for a kayaking trip, inviting his close friends to join. he had already met her close friends so it was about time she met his. not to mention they had started to date only a few weeks ago, so he thought that if the relationship was going to have a future, his friends would help determine it.

a shy smile graced her lips as she introduced herself and they introduced themselves. and within a few minutes they were laughing and joking like old friends, and y/n couldn’t help the feeling of her heart swelling with happiness.

after their kayaking adventure, which had nearly all of them fall into the lake at least 3 times, y/n decided to ride along with her newfound friends since he had to head home then straight to work and she had ridden in his car. she was quiet during the car ride, tipping the kayak was more work than it should’ve been. the others were talking about her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends and ex-flings, joking around about them. one of the friends sat beside her, looked over and saw the tears threatening to fall.

“hey! stop with all that now. it isn’t funny for her, alright?” a small ‘thank-you’ smile was all she had to give to them to show them that she was grateful that they understood. some people don’t.

But your close friends always seem to know

When there's something really wrong

y/n finished cleaning the glass from the floor, ignoring the questions and proceeded on rushing down the hall towards the bathroom. she leaned against the sink, trying to reassure herself. she tried holding back her tears, letting out small hiccups and her breath catching each time.

it was silly. she was getting overworked because of a small glass breaking that had no significance towards him or her heartbreak occurring. yet something about that glass breaking caused her to feel like there was a crushing weight on her heart, threatening to crush it even more. she started to overthink, blocking out everything else which meant that she didn’t hear the footsteps of his friends that had followed her.

tears threatened to spill and she silently cursed herself for not using waterproof makeup. but in the end it didn’t matter because the sinking feeling of being nothing to someone started to whirl in her stomach again as she said 5 words in a broken voice.

“he said he’d be here.”

So they follow me down the hall

And there in the bathroom

I try not to fall apart

And the sinking feeling starts

As I say hopelessly

"He said he'd be here"

“what the hell?! you said you would be at the party yesterday and you didn’t show up!” y/n yelled at the man who casually was lounging on the couch. his eyebrow raised and a hand came up to run through his hair.

“i’m sorry. i was just-”

“busy. yeah i know. but you should know that small things like showing up or communicating if you are going to show up or not, matters to me! and it should matter to you as well.” she said, tears slowly falling from being disappointed once again by him.

“let me make it up for you.” his voice softening, standing up from the couch and making his way towards her.

“no.” she held her hand out towards him to stop him from coming any closer. her makeup ruined from her tears, dropping on her dress. “get out. i don’t want to see you right now. and you are not going to be able to make up for this with sex. i don’t want your damn body, i want you to show up and stay. and since that’s too hard for you then i want you to do what you’re best at and leave.”

a sigh was heard, her head down as he gave a quick kiss on the top of her head. “i’ll text you tomorrow.” he told her right before he closed the front door. once she heard his car leave her driveway, she broke down and fell onto the ground.

tears streaming down her face as she tried rubbing them away, resulting in her hand stained with mascara and red lipstick. She had no idea why he never showed up when he was supposed to. he seemed so perfect at the beginning, sure showing up late was a bit of a flaw, but at least in the beginning he had texted her about why he showed up late.

he was a package deal of happiness and disappointment.

And it was like slow motion

Standing there in my party dress

In red lipstick

With no one to impress

one of her friends, grabbed her and embraced her in a much needed hug. and that was when she broke down all the way from trying to keep it inside for such a long time. her loud sobs caused her other friends to follow the noise, still laughing until they saw her crying. it didn’t stop them from asking about him. about why he wasn’t the one hugging y/n, where he was, what he was doing nowadays, why he was missing from the party, why he was missing from her life so much. it hurt hearing the whispers over her loud sobs about how they were never going to work in the end anyway.

“i-i just need a little time to calm down. i’m sorry. we ar-are going to have cake once i compose myself. c-can you guys please get it all ready for me, please?” she asked, trying to control herself from bursting out into tears as she wiped them away. they nodded, giving her reassuring but also pitying looks towards her as they left.

And they're all laughing

And asking me about you

But there was one thing missing (missing, missing)

And that was the moment I knew

she was crying behind the door that led to all of the guests at her parents’ house. a strangled sob forced its way out, as she held the back of the chair, trying to control herself before she approached the guests. but her thoughts running through her head made it harder and harder to compose herself and had her breakdown even more. her head was heavy and her eyes were droopy as she cried, her weight against the wall with one of her hands still clutching the back of the chair as the other one was covering her mouth. she didn’t want to be seen as broken and vulnerable to her extended family and she wanted to stop crying. but it was just so hard.

the door opened, her cousin’s face being the first to be seen until the door was opened wider and the rest of the family was there, staring at the crying y/n who was absolutely mortified to be found in such a vulnerable position. the pity from their faces was clear, they all knew the cause of her pain. and that she would never learn quick enough about when to stop before she was ruined.

What do you say, when tears are streaming down your face

In front of everyone you know?

y/n calmed herself down within a few minutes, wiping away the smudged makeup and telling herself to be brave and be strong. she slowly opened the bathroom door, walking down the hall slowly. she was scared that they would judge her. and that was when his voice appeared in her head and a memory overtook her thoughts.

And what do you do when the one who means the most to you

Is the one who didn't show?

“what if they hate me?” she asked, right before meeting his family. it was an official meeting, at their new years eve party, and this was the next step they decided on.

“then we elope when we want to get married.” he joked and her hand squeezed his tightly, making him wince. “calm down, sweetheart. they’ll love you. or at least like you. i dunno about my cousin though, he’s a tricky one to impress. but then again, your knowledge of completely random and irrelevant things will come in handy when trying to impress him. in fact, you will probably be his favorite one.”

a reassuring smile towards her made her heart soar above the clouds. then when he turned back to the road, she started to overthink again and tried to analyze everything that would happen.

“but i don’t want them to just like me. i want them to love me. is that too much to ask? yeah probably. after all, i’m not the smartest, nor prettiest, nor nicest person anyone will ever meet. not to mention i’m a bit clumsy when i get nervous. what if i spill red wine on your mom’s favorite couch or your dad’s dress shirt? or even the rug? or something white?! there are about a million things that could go wrong at this party alone!” she rambled on about the possibilities, not realizing he was grinning ear-to-ear about her nervousness. he pulled into the driveway of his childhood home and turned towards her, intertwining their hands.

“it doesn’t matter if they like you or not. because nothing they will say will make me upset and leave you. i love you too much for that. maybe to them you aren’t the smartest, nor prettiest, nor nicest, but you are you and that’s better than anything else… okay that didn’t really make sense, but what i’m trying to say is that being yourself is perfectly fine. you aren’t perfect but you’re you and it’s a good thing too. because i would not want to date steve jobs. if you’re this nervous about a party, which is your actual element, then repeat after me. i am brave.” he nodded for her to repeat.

“i am brave.” she said timidly.

“i am strong.”

“i am smart.”

“i am smart.” at this point, a smile broke out on her face.

“i am beautiful.”

“i am okay and i will stop overthinking so i can live in the moment.”

this made both of them let out a small laugh, smiles wide across both of their faces. “i am okay and-”

You should've been here

And I would've been so happy

And it was like slow motion

“and i will stop overthinking so i can live in the moment.” y/n muttered under her breath as she turned the corner. the only light being the candles on her birthday cake that was on the counter. a wide, genuine smile was on her face at the sight of the cake. then they started to all sing to her, not the best, nor the prettiest, nor award winning, but it was brilliant. because it showed that they cared.

“make a wish, y/n.” someone called once they finished. closing her eyes, she thought of the one thing she wanted out of anything and she blew out the candles. a loud cheer erupted from everyone. someone started to cut the cake into pieces as the others gathered around her and gave her birthday wishes and hugs.

Standing there in my party dress

In red lipstick

With no one to impress

And they're all standing around me singing

"Happy birthday to you"

“we need to talk.”

But there was one thing missing

“please, just listen to me!”

And that was the moment I knew

“it really hurts and i want it to stop. so please make it stop.”

Ooh, I knew

“i’m so sorry. i never wanted to hurt you so i will stop…”

“please don’t leave me!”

Ooh

once everyone had cake and ice cream, they slowly left y/n’s house one by one. it was finally a peaceful night, being alone. she changed out of her party dress, slipping into her pjs and wiping away any remaining makeup from her face. after making a bag of popcorn and slipping under her covers, she decided to look at her phone. finally, after ignoring it for half of the night.

a scoff came out of her mouth when she read the text message on her screen from him.

i’m sorry, i didn’t make it. he had sent it just 20 minutes ago

y/n thought about sending him a large paragraph saying how he manages to break her heart at the smallest things and how he never shows up. but she was done caring for the day. she was done worrying an wasting all of her thoughts about him and getting anxious when he never replied. her feelings would probably change in the morning and she would send the paragraph about her feelings, but right in the moment she wasn’t going to open up to him. she’s done it too much before, so in the moment currently, she sent 3 words instead. i’m sorry too

You called me later

And said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it"

And I said, "I'm sorry too"

And that was the moment I knew

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honekitteh · 5 years ago

Text

Fic: Countdown - Chapter 5

Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: M Genre: Angst, H/C, Romance, Canon-Typical Violence, Humor, Canon-typical levels of poor decision-making Synopsis: A distress call leads the Jedi Battlemaster to Ziost, but time is running out. Follows the storyline of The Rise of the Emperor and inserts missing scenes. Warnings: See Chapter 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Crossposted to AO3

“What was that thing?” I asked as I pulled my two shoto out of the back of the monstrous creature.

“We’ve been calling them monoliths,” Lana stated as she suddenly appeared on the holo comm from the failsafe console we had been directed to. “I promise I wasn’t eavesdropping. Just wanted to warn you.”

I raised an eyebrow and gave a glance to Kira behind me. The redhead was still staring dubiously at the ‘monolith.’

“We’ve seen several of those creatures appearing throughout New Adasta. They’re made from Sith alchemy. A sign of Vitiate’s growing power. Extremely strong, next to impossible to kill. The one you just defeated is the smallest we’ve come across.”

Kira mouthed behind me, “Smallest?”

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. “Its power has already returned.”

“I’m afraid so,” Lana nodded and switched off communication.

As if on cue, the monolith swung his large arm and I was caught in my stomach and flung back against the walls. I don’t entirely know how long I was out, but Kira was shouting at me by the time I shook my head and got back up and looked my surroundings. We needed to defeat the Monolith and stabbing it til it died was not the way to do it.

I looked across all the consoles, then noticed the broken electrical wire group on the floor, as well as the water underneath it. This was a bit of a gamble, but thankfully this was an enemy I didn’t really need to worry about utilizing my terrible pazaak face on. Remembering how things had worked in the Electrical Substation I looked around quickly for a switch.

My body ached as I got back up and I took a deep breath, using the Force meditation techniques to ignore pain for a time. My target was on the other side of the room and I had to get there without getting knocked out or winded again. Kira was smacked hard into another wall, but she blinked in and out of visibility before she took full impact.

I flipped the switch and watched as the monolith was finally knocked out due to the electrical current. After a few seconds, a little too late, did I notice the electrical current exit my own body. I wobbled a bit and looked at my hand. I couldn’t feel anything in it for what seemed like minutes, and there were now a few red lines adorning my flesh. I flexed it for a bit as Kira kicked the Monolith on her way over to me.

“Did you forget the safeties?” she asked quickly.

“Did we have time?”

Kira rubbed her face with her palm. “I should have kept the kolto pack...”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve survived force lightning.”

“Doc will have a fit.”

“Must be a day that ends in –y.” I moved back to the console to put in the failsafe override sequence. I tapped in the commands as per the directions we had been given and then leaned back against it with a heavy sigh.

“Plan’s over. Scrapped.” Agent Kovach walked into the Metro Center, his eyes completely exhausted as he moved to the communication console. “Some giant thing tore through a junction, caused an electrical surge. Dampeners are shot.”

Kira and I both glanced at each other and then back at the finally dead Monolith. I stabbed the nearest limb of the beast again to be sure before responding to the agent, “There has to be another way.”

He shook his head. “I thought about an electrical bombardment from space, but it would be incredibly imprecise. We’ll be as likely to kill a lot of people as anything.”

I shook my head in response to that. That was an unacceptable outcome. At least he had enough sense to see that without me having to point it out, like I have had to so many other Republic officials over the course of my career.

“Besides,” he continued, “The two fleets have engaged each other. Maybe if we convinced Saresh or Darth Marr to divert some forces...” His holo comm chirped, demanding his attention.

Theron appeared on the holo. “What’s the word, Kovach?”

“The word is ‘failure.’ I couldn’t make it work. I’m sorry, Agent Shan.”

I stared at Theron for a moment. Even through the holographic interface, I could see how tired he was. He wore what he felt was the weight of this world on his shoulders, even when he didn’t need to hold it alone. I flexed my right hand, still not feeling a lot more than vague tingles in it. I glanced over to Kovach and decided against bringing up something that, at this point, was not as important as stopping the Emperor.

“I’m sure you did your best,” Theron had continued on, “That’s all we can ask for. Look, maybe you should check in with Lana. If you can, get her to reach out to me.”

“I’ll do that,” Kovach responded. I thought I saw a slight wink in my direction from Theron before his image blinked out from the holo call. I didn’t have a chance to be sure about that before Kovach had packed up his kit and started walking out of the Metro Center. He turned his head slightly to me at the door and said, “You have my thanks.”

I frowned slightly and looked back at the Monolith lying dead in the middle of the room.

“You didn’t tell him,” Kira stated.

“I hesitated,” I admitted.

“He’d have probably fired him when we need all the bodies.”

“True. I’ll own that choice should it come up.”

“Guess we’ll have to talk to her at some point soon too.”

“Hm?”

“Chancellor Cockblock… I mean Saresh.”

I snorted. “Chancellor Cockblock?”

“She totally disrupted your reunion with Theron.”

I sighed and waved my hands around the room and emphatically pointed at the Monolith. “I’d say this whole situation disrupted any reunion.”

“Fair point. Your holo comm is blinking.”

I blinked and nodded and pulled it out. Lana appeared again on the holo. “I’m told Agent Kovach’s plan fell apart. The good news is I have another plan. A better plan. However, it’s an extremely dangerous plan—for you.”

“This is my shocked face,” I stated plainly at her, “I’m listening.”

“As I’m sure you’re aware, war has broke out across the globe. Our former Emperor, however, has focused his involvement to the area around New Adasta—near you.”

I tilted my head and encouraged her to continue.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence. It’s possible he isn’t as strong has he’s been letting on. It’s possible he’s worried about what you could do.”

I sighed. “It was always going to lead to this. Let him come for me.”

“I’m going to suggest something a little more proactive, actually. You must get all of his pawns—every last soldier, Jedi, and Sith to stop their slaughter and chase you into the heart of New Adasta. You must make Vitiate want to kill you. Now.”

“Vitiate want to kill me? Must be Taungsday.”

“I am aware of your past history with him.”

I quirked my eyebrow but said nothing else as she forwarded coordinates for the next location for me to head to. A place called the People’s Tower. Cutting off the communication with Lana, I frowned slightly.

“I really doubt you know what you think you do…”

Kira came back up beside me after her patrol of the room. “What was that?”

“Just doubting what Lana knows.”

Kira nodded. “You told Theron, but not her?”

I just nodded and started walking out of the Metro Security Center.

“This thing working?”

I blinked as Kira and I walked into a devastated cantina just outside of the People’s Tower in New Adasata. I fiddled with the comm on my wrist computer. “Doc, is that you?”

Doc’s voice was exasperated and tired, I could feel it from here. “Oh good, it does work. Giving you a status update because your spyboy has rushed off on a new errand with Teeseven.”

I sighed. “Go ahead.” As I awaited Doc’s report, I directed Kira to investigate the cantina with a quick motion of my head. I sensed there was something in there that could be quite useful for us, but I wasn’t sure what. I leaned against the edge of the door to the cantina and studied the area, taking note of some of the possessed soldiers and sith movements. I was trying to figure out the best plan of attack to get to the next region. I also noticed there were some very large turrets at the edge of the cliff the People’s Tower was on. I filed their existence away for future use.

“The small amount of survivors, between the soldiers, civilians, and slaves that he managed to keep from dying to... were they Jedi?”

“They were under the Emperor’s control.”

“I could tell...” I quirked an eyebrow at Doc’s comment there. Of course, he’d know what that was like. I audibly sighed remembering that he and my other companions had been on the Emperor’s Fortress with me. They knew… but Doc didn’t let my mind wander too far into it. “I mean. Anyway I’ve gotten the surviving patients that were able to be moved back up to the station. Tried to convince your boyfriend he needed to go with them for proper medical attention but he wouldn’t budge. The idiot.”

Biting back the traditional denial response, I simply just stated, “Doc…”

But he would not be deterred. “He’s a wreck and those scars will not heal properly if he doesn’t stop for 10 minutes to let a professional look over them. He just took one of my stronger doses and went off with Teeseven for… something the blonde Sith said.”

“You mean Lana.”

“That was her name. Sorry, I was never the greatest with remembering names.”

“Yes I remember. What did you really expect though, Doc?”

“I don’t know… maybe to think about his own health for a change. Maybe think how you’d feel if something happened to him.”

“Did you threaten him again?”

“Of course not.” Doc sounded almost insulted by my accusation. Though maybe not for the reason that I thought. “He didn’t stick around long enough for the lecture.”

I tried to keep my own voice calm and flexed my right hand a few times. “This whole planet is a mess Doc… You know I would…”

He cut me off. “Yeah yeah, needs of the many or some kriffin Jedi nobility. But you can’t save people if you’re dead.”

I rubbed my temple and just sighed, resigned. “Thanks for helping, Doc. That means a lot.”

“Of course. It’s what I do. I think he’ll be fine… just don’t think he will heal properly... not that that seems to be a thing he is unfamiliar with...”

“Doc...”

“Right right. Status update is done. More patients filtering in. Doc out.”

I continued scanning the surroundings and I felt Kira coming up from behind me.

“You conveniently left out how you got scorched when we defeated the Monolith,” she stated, smirking at me.

I flexed my right hand again, finally regaining the last bits of feeling that I had lost. “Please. Theron isn’t the only one who doesn’t want a lecture from Doc when there’s work to be done.”

“Agreed,” Kira nodded, “The bartender was dead. Unsurprising but still a pity. There was a key on him though.” She displayed the key to me.

“Wonder what this is for…” I furrowed my brow and studied it. Then I looked back around the landing pad outside of the cantina.

As we moved from our spot, we were suddenly besieged by a group of soldiers. I took a quick glance to the side and noticed that there was a woman cowering behind one of the benches, where these soldiers had moved from. Soon as they had come after us, she ran. I hoped she made it to the landing pad in time, but I had no way of keeping track of that. The soldiers weren’t much of a match between Kira and I, but by the time they were defeated at our feet, I could not see where the woman had gone. Hopefully she was safe and had not been added to Vitiate’s legion.

I really wish I didn’t have to think like that, but reality was unkind.

I took a look back at the key in my hand and frowned.

“I think it’s to one of these speeder bikes,” Kira spoke up.

I pursed my lips and tried it on the one near the ramp up towards the tower. That one didn’t work. Sighing I looked across the other speeders that were around. There were like five.

“Try this one!” Kira yelled back at me and I noticed she was pointing at the speeder right next to the cantina entrance.

Of course... That would make sense. I came back over and sure enough, the key fit.

“It needs some fuel first,” Kira stated, “No other way. Not sure where we’d find some fuel though.”

I looked up and pondered. Then I pointed out the air defense turrets I’d spotted earlier. “They should have some fuel. We can shut those down and get the fuel from there.”

“You mean steal the fuel.”

“It’s not stealing!”

Kira simply raised her eyebrow.

“It’s borrowing...”

“Borrowing?”

“... Borrowing without the intent to return. What does it matter? We need to shut down the turrets anyway.”

“Of course Master Jyana.”

We moved our way up the ramp towards the People’s Tower. Four air defense turrets lined the edge of the platform with a very long drop down. We made fairly quick work of getting the fuel from three of them, as well as dealing with more of Vitiates marionette army. I stared up at the last turret and tried to figure out the best way of approach.

“We should have enough,” Kira stated after helping a small shaking child out from under a bench. “What are you thinking?”

“We need to get that last one shut down. Think that speeder will get us there?”

“Most definitely, but let's get this girl to the transports here.”

I looked back and looked down at the child. Her eyes were larger than her face, blue as the Alderaanian sky, her blonde hair short and dirty. She stared up at me, her face stained with tears. She was quaking with fear. Kira had most of it handled as she eased the child to allow her to pick her up. I placed a light hand on top of the child’s head. “Did you lose your parents?” I asked softly.

She nodded slowly.

“What is your name?”

Her voice was very soft, barely audible if you didn’t know what you were listening to. A slight accent painted her a native of the planet. “Kallie.”

“We’re going to get you to safety, Kallie. Find help.”

She continued to stare at me, but I could feel her fear shifting to hope.

“She’s got a broken leg,” Kira mentioned as she shifted the child on her hip.

I nodded. “We need to get her to Doc.”

She nodded to me and we took back off towards the transport. I reached out my senses across the platform. I could not sense any other children or people that were of their own mind left. First things first, get this child somewhere safe.

After making the appropriate transfers and verifying that Kallie was being taken care of by Doc and whoever else he’d roped into helping him now on the Orbital Station, Kira and I had gotten the speeder bike fueled up and ready to go. I was planning to try to zoom up the ramp and get to that last air defense turret to shut it down.

I hopped onto the speeder and started preparing to drive. Kira stared at me dubiously. “What?” I asked.

“This isn’t your run of the mill standard issue republic sanctioned speeder, Jy.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“This is more like one of the speeders I had to hotwire when I was on Nar Shaddaa.”

“I mean, what could possibly go wrong?”

“You just had to say that.”

I just stared at Kira for a few minutes as she reluctantly popped onto the speeder behind me. I started the speeder up and started my way back up towards the tower.

The speeder, in whoever’s infinite wisdom, suddenly lurched forward in a spurt of speed, catching me completely off guard. Holding on tightly, I tried to manage the speeder as it suddenly slowed back down again. It did this a second time and I attempted to time it just so as we went towards the wall. I couldn’t really breath with how tightly Kira was holding my stomach and the next burst of speed landed us into a wall, both of us in a pile on the ground.

“Let me get this... you stay here...” Kira muttered, brushing herself off.

I sighed, still mostly upside down from how we were flung. “Fine.”

I righted myself as Kira took the speeder and expertly angled it and got it up the ramp, jumping over the gaps with ease. I grumbled a bit but took that moment to regain my breath. I flexed my right hand, grateful that at least something had started to heal by the time I heard the explosion of the last air defense turret being taken down and Kira had made it back down.

She smirked at me and patted the seat of the speeder behind her. I rolled my eyes and hopped back on and we went inside the People’s Tower.

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #theron shan #kira carsen #lana beniko #female jedi knight/hero of tython #oc: jyana kai #otp: come what may #fic: countdown #ziost #swtor: rise of the emperor #swtor #fanfic

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crystallinecrimsonmoth · 4 years ago

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Future Serial Killer [ongoing]

Chapter 17

‘Darling, wake up. Time for breakfast.’

Carl whined unashamed at the sound of Negan’s gravelly voice in his ear, refusing to move. He was too tired, too exhausted from the stress of the day before that he just wanted to stay in bed all day and ignore his duties. Sleep still lingered heavy on his eyelid as he pressed his nose further into the pillow beneath his head, hoping he could pretend to be asleep despite the noise he’d already made.

A tired chuckle registered in his mind, one thick, calloused hand slipping under the covers to caress his bare thigh. He wanted to lean into the chest pressed to his back and purr like a kitten, but he also didn’t want Negan to have that much control over him using just his deep voice. Or at least he didn’t want him to know he had that control.

‘Carl, you have to eat something.’ His older boyfriend insisted, lips pressed to his ear as the hand on his thigh ran fingers over his skin with featherlight touches, tickling him to the point where Carl let out a small giggle, unable to keep it in.

‘I know you’re awake, little lamb.’

The teen huffed, stretching out long on his side of the bed and discovering that his soft pillow was actually Negan’s bicep, his lips resting on a tattoo of his barbed wire bat.

‘You have a tattoo of Lucille.’ He murmured softly, lifting his head a little so he could trace a finger over the ink.

‘And you’re awake.’

Carl grumbled, turning over in his arms, and looking at him.

‘I’m not ready to get up though. Bring me breakfast in bed? Please?’ He pleaded; his baby blue eye wide like a puppy’s to weaken Negan’s resolve.

He grinned slyly when the man broke, a sigh leaving his lips and a hand coming up to cup Carl’s cheek.

‘You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you, sweetheart? You know I can’t resist that face.’

‘I was counting on your weak will.’ The teen quipped back, his expression gleeful while Negan unravelled his arms from the boy and got out of bed, pulling on his jeans.

‘You’re already a manipulative little slut and you haven’t even had a dick in your ass yet.’ He chuckled deeply, glancing back at him when Carl shifted closer to his partner.

He’d lost the sheets covering his body and become a long slip of pale skin, bare white cheeks on display for Negan to stare at and bury his face in anytime he liked. The young body in front of him was so tempting now that Carl had offered himself willingly, but he took a deep breath, shaking his head with a laugh and winding his finger into the boy’s long hair.

‘Tell me what you want for breakfast before I eat you.’ He warned and Carl rolled his eyes, leaning into the hand in his hair.

‘I’m not that hungry, just get me an apple.’

‘Alright, stay here. Don’t open the door-’

‘-unless I hear the knock, yes, I know the rules.’ Carl sighed, resting his chin on his hands as he watched Negan leave the room.

The rest of their day went by blissfully, with Negan laid back shirtless on the bed and Carl wrapped around his side with nothing on but a blanket. He had nestled his face into the space between his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder and had been half-asleep there all day.

They’d eaten breakfast and discussed going to work, but when the rain started, neither wanted to, and Negan put some other poor sap in Carl’s security position so that his little lamb didn’t get sick. He couldn’t let anything bad happen to the teen, he didn’t want to let anything bad happen to him, so everyone else could get sick, even if it only meant keeping his boy safe from the common cold.

The rain battered down outside, hitting off their bedroom window occasionally as Negan ran his fingertips back and forth on Carl’s thigh. The boy was quite comfortable cuddling into the man’s hard physique since he’d discovered all the soft spots on him, information it took Negan a while to give up before he fully trusted the kid not to stab him at any random point in the day.

Carl always kept his knife on him, but not for the purpose of stabbing Negan. He was in the business of stabbing anyone who wasn’t Negan that got too close unless it was Doc stitching his leg up. After his experience with Arat shooting him, he had learned not to trust another soul in the Sanctuary that wasn’t Negan, and he made sure to keep them all at a distance, even Ada and Daniel.

The two of them had been lying there for hours, cuddled up to each other’s bodies, whispering soft words and hissing sharp insults. It made Carl feel at ease, in the most morally fucked up way possible, and he giggled at every insult from Negan that turned out to be a thinly veiled compliment.

Negan laughed at everything he shot back too, deep vibrations going through his chest and into Carl’s body that would make him fall to his knees if he weren’t already lying down. He knew he should be on guard duty, helping keep danger out of their home, but with the rain pouring down, it all felt too gloomy to be doing anything but snuggling Negan’s chest.

‘You alright, darling?’ The hand on his thigh gave a gentle pat to his skin to get his attention, and Carl smiled at the soft gesture, removing himself from Negan’s neck and looking up into dark amber eyes.

‘I’m perfect, Negan.’

‘I know you’re perfect, baby, I asked if you were alright.’ Carl rolled his eyes when Negan grinned at him, hitting the man’s chest.

‘You’re not funny.’

‘I’m only telling the truth. You are so perfect.’ Carl squeaked when his older boyfriend rolled over to pin him down, looking up at him with a soft laugh.

‘Am I supposed to be threatened? You’re like a giant bunny rabbit, Negan, you don’t scare me.’

Negan chuckled, running one hand down the centre of his boy’s chest to make him physically tremble.

‘I’m not trying to scare you, darling. I want you to be comfortable… and warm… and safe.’ He punctuated each word with a kiss to Carl’s neck, listening to the teen purr in his hands.

Carl stretched out luxuriously like a cat underneath him and brought his hands up into the man’s hair, running his fingers through the salt and pepper strands.

‘Give me what you promised last night.’ He murmured, leaning up to kiss him softly and smiling when the gesture was returned.

He was so enamoured with Negan, so in love with him, and the older Saviour felt exactly the same way.

‘It would be my pleasure, little lamb.’

#cegan #future serial killer #chapter 17 #carl/negan #carl x negan #negan x carl

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years ago

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2×11

okay last episode of the front half of the season, so this should wrap up the ambitiously titled "rise of villains" arc. after that is "wrath of the villains" which at this point could truly mean fucking anything.

I'd like to apologize for my earlier statement, there are actually three types of Black characters on Gotham: scary, dead, and Lucius Fox

POV you are Jimothy Gordon, you just got your ass saved by your least favorite boyfriend (Oswald) and wake up to discover that he now lives with (???) your least favorite coworker (Ed) and they are ??? playing piano and singing together in an apartment where there is quite visibly only one bed

911 has my least favorite boyfriend replaced me???

personally if I were Theo Galavan I would simply not take pathetic shit idiot baby glee in threatening a 12 year old little boy. like I know you have to kill him to finish your schemes but you don't have to enjoy it. stop gloating at a child get a hobby. ooh do you feel like a big boy for showing up the orphan toddler? woo good job you evil genius you. so scawy.

anyway this is a great episode for the anti-Alfred contingency he's been stabbed twice hunted for sport buried in trash and tased. get his ass.

Gotham!Riddler rapidly overtaking The Batman!Riddler for my least favorite Riddler. get your life together.

Bruce casually naming owls as his favorite animal as opposed to the extremely obvious choice is so funny good for him

sorry thinking about the single bed in the Pengriddler apartment again.

Oswald's look of absolute exasperation upon Lee's pregnancy announcement speaks for us all I think. anyway had no idea that was going to happen but I believe the timing lines up with Ben McKenzie and Morena Baccarin's actual first real life pregnancy. insane that Gotham is DIRECTLY responsible for ending one marriage (Baccarin's first lmao) and at least two human lives (her children with McKenzie). like that's crazy we can all agree that is cuckoo bananas, no?

anyway it would be infinitely funnier if Lee was lying just to get Gordon to shut the fuck up and leave the city

insane that all Ed does anymore is lurk around the GCPD eavesdropping on anyone who talks about Jim so he can chuckle knowingly. you used to be the only bitch in this whole building who actually did your job and now? now look at you. pathetic.

anyway if Lee actually is pregnant is this. which baby is this? is that little James Jr.? is that the baby future serial killer? or are we cutting straight to Barbara? or??

tbh the age difference between Bruce and Barbara would already be larger than I generally love for a coherent Batfam timeline but the writers of Gotham were evidently NOT thinking about the future of this world or my feelings

Lucius Fox is having just. the weirdest fucking day of his life right now. a 13 year old girl just clambered in the window and was given a bulletproof vest and a gun. by a cop. with no objections except from a rancid middle aged butler whose beef with her is personal. Lucius I have awful news but it's only going to get worse

Bruce is just. Bruce is a good kid. crying about him trying to save Silver even though it objectively benefits him not at all.

the visuals of local waif Selina Kyle confidently rocking up to a gunfight with a dozen adult men is so fucking funny good for her. girlboss. they literally sent her in as their advance scout I'm

all of you are getting charged with child endangerment!!!

if there's one thing Bruce Wayne is going to do at any age it's compel a morally dubious woman to risk it all for him with nothing but his autistic swagger

Silver St. Cloud would also have been a great candidate for Barbara Kean's Home for Wayward Young Supervillainesses I'm just SAYING

listen. we've got the thief (Selina), the firepower (Bridget), the swindler (Silver), and the spooky plant girl (Ivy). what a girl gang. gonna start recapping episodes as if Barbara's School for Wayward Young Supervillainesses is just a thing that's happening canonically. she just took them all out for ice cream :3

cannot emphasize enough how much I love when little Bruce is a sassy despite having absolutely no right to be. "I had a perfectly feasible escape plan" baby boy you were tied up and surrounded by evil Catholics who wanted to gut you

was gonna say I think Oswald and Jimblrs are officially over but Jim is currently watching Oswald beat a man to death with a baseball bat and that is regrettably at least second base for Oswald.

still hot and bothered from that Jim immediately decides to propose to Lee

MR FREEZE ???

guys I'm so SO sorry to do this but it was a bad brain day and I need to celebrate getting through it by pointing and laughing at bitches who are even less hinged than me.

it's Gotham time.

#gotham time

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solified-chanyeol-lover · 8 years ago

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Missing 9 - False Hope (Chapter 2) - By Solifiedjaporeanist21

Rating: Mature

Main Members: Lee Yeol (Chanyeol EXO) x (Y/N) (Reader/You)

Pairings: Lee Yeol (Chanyeol) x Reader (You), Seo Joon Oh (Jung Kyung Ho) x Ra Bong Hee (Baek Jin Hee), Choi Tae Ho (Choi Tae Joon) x Ha Ji Ah (Lee Sun Bin)

Words: 4,117

Warnings: Character Death, Language, Heavy Angst, Explicit Death Scenes, Plot Twists.

Summary: Ever wonder what happened to Yeol those two days before Joon Oh and Bong Hee found him? Well I do.

…

I found myself lost in the woods with Yeol, not that I was complaining or anything but with no food or water it was horrendous. He ran aimlessly and though, I admit, I should have warned him, but didn’t. Now here we sit in a grassy field, wind blowing in our faces, driving us to shiver from our wet clothing. And yet we had seemingly looked everywhere, are we back where we started.

“What do we do now, Jagiya?” I look up at my boyfriend, opening my mouth but I honestly didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t really tell him to give up. Are only option was to wait. Wait for more survivors, wait for a rescue team, wait for our death.

I shook that thought out, no I musn’t think such horrible thoughts. “We sit until someone comes to rescue us, I mean someone will come, everyone on that plane was seemingly royalty they can’t just let us die here.” Yeol glances at me somewhat unsure and I knew instantly that there might be a slight chance that no one will come.

He pulls me close, using our body heat to keep warm. “Of course.” it was deplorable that he was lying to me but, i couldn’t rightly blame him, if anything the only thing that felt real right now was to sugar coat the truth.

It was quiet for what I assumed a good five minutes. It was the most silence me and Yeol have ever experienced since the start of our relationship and if I were honest, it killed me. It was dreadful and awful, I couldn’t handle it. I had to say something. “No matter what happens, we won’t die here, Yeol, we’ll survive because that is just what we’re meant to do. This isn’t our end.” I quickly cringe inwardly, out of all the things to say, this is what comes up?

Admittingly it wasn’t a lie, fate delt us a harsh hand but we’ll win in the end. We are alive now so that has to mean something. If raising our spirits keeps us going then I will say whatever, whether it cruel lies or false hope, I was willing.

“For tonight let’s rest here, the sun is setting, we won’t be able to see without it.” Yeol nods, “I was thinking the same, its best not to wonder too far. Moreover, I think you should first, I want to keep a look out just in case any survivors show up.” I didn’t particularly favor his way but I went along with it, I had to keep my strength up.

“Alright. but please, whatever happens wake me up. I don’t care if its five minutes after I fall asleep, okay? Promise me?” Yeol smiles, nodding, placing a gentle kiss upon my chapped lips. I lick them when he pulls back, tasting the copper taste of blood and as much as it worried me that his wounds haven’t yet closed there was nothing I could do. nothing but wait.

I toss my worry out to the best of my ability, laying my head in his lap. closing my eyes, allowing the fatigue to take over.

…

Yeol

I watch as my girlfriend falls asleep, her breathing lowering, steadying. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. I run my fingers across her cheek, pushing away those loose strands that brushed across her face. I sighed, my thoughts washing over me. my fingers playing mindlessly with (Y/N)’s hair, relishing the softness as it slowly dries.

If I were to be completely true with myself, I didn’t really know what to think of this current situation, it was almost unbelievable. I’m sure if I weren’t so wide awake I’d think that perhaps I was dreaming, yet the more I continued to think about it, not even dreams can express the pain I had experienced the moment I woke. not to mention the eerie feeling I got upon seeing where we ended up.

It hadn’t been so much as the island that frightened me (not that it wasn’t worry some) but the fear of dying. I furrowed my brows, something about this just didn’t settle right with me, I couldn’t quite place it but I had a feeling we had bigger problems then just getting rescued or surviving for that matter. Personally I felt like I got stabbed in the back by someone I cared about. It sounds ludicrous now that I think it out loud.

I let out a exasperated breath, looking up at the sky that had betrayed us, it was so clear and relaxed, it makes me wonder just why our plane crashed in the first place when there was no impending danger present. I close my eyes, the images of our near demise spread through my head like wildfire. even now, safe and sound does the image still haunt me. I’d rather forget but that was far to cruel especially since my friends were aboard. It’s like forgetting them too. Joon Oh, Tae Ho, Ji Ah, (Y/N)…

(Y/N)…my love.

She has stayed by my side through all this, she remained calm and collected even though disaster showered her. whatever crossed her path she’d remain passive even though deep down I knew she felt like crying out. I smiled, I wouldn’t know what to do without her, my life wouldn’t make sense if she weren’t by my side.

Reaching into my pocket, I carefully grab the treasure that surprisingly didn’t get lost in all that rukus, weary that my gentle movements would wake (Y/N). however, when she didn’t move I was thankful. I didn’t want her to find out, not like this… not here. she deserves far better.

I stare at the object, slightly disappointed. The plane crashing sure had ruined a lot of my plans, I had so much I wanted to give (Y/N), so much that it would’ve without doubt changed everything we’ve worked so hard to built. Evolving it into something far more wondrous but now…that beautiful dream seemed so far away.

Immediately I shake my head, pulling myself together. no, no matter the cost, I made a promise to her, one that I have no intention of breaking. I will carry it out no matter what.

“I swear that you will make it out alive, Jagiya, we all will.” I murmur, confident. I can’t let anything happen that will ruin your bright future…our future.

…

(Y/N)

When morning came, me and Yeol continued our search, calling out the names of the passengers until out throats grew tired, unfortunately none were returned and we just ended up sore afterwards. Furthermore, with no water around posed a massive problem for us as well, I mean sure it was just harder on us. but if we were extremely desperate we could just drink the sea water but I imagine that wouldn’t really help us any, nor would it taste that good.

Luckily we weren’t that desperate.

I walk in front of my boyfriend, calling out in some hope that someone will answer me. it didnt hurt to try in my opinion. it better than doing nothing. “Jagiya, maybe you should take a rest with the calling, your voice isn’t sounding very healthy.” I smiled, I knew Yeol didn’t want to crush my hope but he didn’t want me to hurt either.

I turn, “Yeah, but what if we’re getting close to someone, they might hear me.” Yeol cocks his head to the side, shrugging. See I have a point.

“Believe me I hate the toughness of it too, Yeol, but if its for our survival then I’ll happily do it until I can’t speak.” Turning back around I proceed, closing my eyes. “I mean can you believe how much it will hel-” I stop short, my words getting cut off as I slip, losing my footing.

A scream manages to escape my lips as I rolled down I assumed a hill. One that popped out of nowhere mind you! I could feel my heartbeat pick up, the adrenaline coursing through me, although not soon enough as I still felt the pain of a rock jabbing me right in the side.

When I reached the bottom, which seemed far longer than it actually was, do I hear Yeol calling after me.

I tried to push myself up, but the pain sprinting down my side thought otherwise. I moaned in pain, looking up at my surroundings. Whilst, what I saw made me tense, my mouth opening to let out a horrified scream. Hurriedly I shut my eyes, but the sight was already planted in my head. I feel Yeol’s touch seconds later, assumingly he seen what I refused not to.

A corpse.

Rotted and decayed. I watch my boyfriend, amazed that he wasn’t scared of it, he studied it like it wasn’t even dead. Of course there was fear in his eyes, akin to disbelief even. it was something I knew too well, it was the loss of hope.

I follow his movements, reaching forward he turns over the necklace that was draped around his neck. I wanted to get a better look but I was in too much pain to.

“J. Alden.”

My ears pick up his voice, so frail and broken and full of distress. it was heartbreaking. “You think he was like us?” Yeol throws me his attention now.

I swallowed harshly, disregarding his question. I didn’t want to answer that, I didn’t even want to think about it. Looking down to the ground I force my body up, wincing as my side bleeds. Yeol notices my struggles and is quickly rushing to my side, helping me to a standing position once more.

When I’m on my feet, I bite my lip, lifting my shirt. upon seeing the damage the only thing I could think of was how much worse it could’ve been. Naturally it was deep but far from life threatening…well unless I couldn’t stop bleeding in time.

Yeol looks at me worriedly and I instruct him to grip my shirt with his good hand. he does in earnest and I use my own to rip a piece off. My boyfriend easily sees what my intentions are and eagerly helps in tightening it around my waist. I groaned in agony but at least I was fine. at least I stopped the bleeding.

When all was well again we continue on.

Though as night grew near, Yeol had yet to talk about the incident, he pretended he was alright and though I knew better I still kept to myself. I wasn’t the girlfriend that pried into someones personal feelings, specially his. Naturally that also didn’t mean I wasn’t worried. he was my boyfriend I wanted to believe I was smart enough to figure him out.

And if I was correct he was thinking far too hard about this Alden guy and his situations before us. It was probably the worst mistake ever but who was I to bring him even more down with my false accusations.

i stopped moving altogether, looking down at the dirt below my feet. Admittingly I was conflicted, I couldn’t rightly just sit here and do nothing, but I also couldn’t talk to him either. I knew if I did either it’ll just bring him even more down which right now I didn’t want at all.

Just what was I supposed to do?

I look up, watching his backside as he continues on without me. He was so imursed in his thoughts he hadn’t even realized im not behind him anymore. I smile half hearty, such a dork, letting his thoughts overwhelm him like this.

In the end I choose to do nothing.

Hurriedly running up to my boyfriend, I wrap my arms around his waist, stopping him in his tracks. “Yeol…I don’t fully know your full story on the subject but I respect your decisions nonetheless. Just keep in mind that I’m here, i will always be here, by your side, okay?”

He instantly circles his hand around mine, squeezing it. “Thank you, Jagiya.” I smile, it’s better this way. He’ll tell me when he’s ready, and when he does I’ll be here.

…

Yeol

I watch for survivors again tonight. although I didn’t know how long I could last without falling asleep. I felt so drained of any strength, of course… I look over towards (Y/N), who lays her head on my shoulder, she looked far worse than I did. I have to find her something soon or else… I shook that thought out before it could form, no I can’t let that happen.

I feel (Y/N) move next to me but before I got the chance to question her, she interrupts. “Baby, look. A light!.” She is quick in her movements, forcing herself to stand, throwing out the pain that jolts throughout her side. I follow her, surprised and joyful.

Does this mean someone came for us? Or were those our friends? Whoever they were they had supplies. Warmth, possibly food and water too.

“C'mon let’s go.” My girlfriend declares, reaching for my hand. I was about to agree with her but noticed how badly she had injured herself from that fall. I didn’t want to inflict more pain onto her than she has already.

I shake my head. “No, I want you to stay here. I will go and get help, you’re under too much stress as it is.” She opens her mouth, about to argue but takes the defeat. I knew she hated the idea just as much as I did but there really wasn’t any other way.

To my relief she nods, sitting herself back down. I could easily see the hurt in her eyes. “I will come back for you, Jagiya, I promise.” Leaning down, I place a chaste kiss on her lips. She puts on a smile. “Just be safe, Yeol.”

I nodded, making haste through the trees towards the light. I wouldn’t stop until I made it there either. For (Y/N)’s sake. I wouldn’t abandon her there.

The more I ran though, the more tired I got. And with no sleep for those couple days didn’t help any matters. I could just feel the fatigue weighing me down. feel the exhaustion seeping into my bones, but no matter what I couldn’t give in, I had to make it to them.

Bushes hit me as I scurried through them, hitting my hurt arm, making me dizzy and lightheaded. I moaned in pain, my vision going fuzzy but before my conscience began to flicker away I hear a voice, the sticks beneath their feet crunching. Hope rapidly swells through my blood and I force myself awake, sprinting faster towards the noise.

Unfortunately enough my strength fades too soon and I trip over my own feet, hitting the ground. I closed my eyes, if only for a second to catch my breath but the longer they stayed closed the further I fell into darkness. In the end that is what happens, I didn’t have the willpower to move anymore.

The last thing I had heard was the sound of my name being called from those voices, yet instead of them being far away and hallow they were now clear and near.

…

I stirred awake, the feel of someone messing with my arm making me hiss. They were putting something around it. I was aware that it was supposed to be helping but the pain they were inflicting with it was just too unbearable. “There. Tie it now.” I hear one say. “Good.” I could feel the pressure tightening and instantly I knew what was coming. “In 1, 2…” I groaned in agony, the heavy pain sending sharp spikes of excruciating pain up my entire arm as they straitened the broken bone.

I was about to doze off again, to rid of some of the pain but the person lifts my head up, “Hey, you need to drink some water first.” I took the water that was offered to me, my throat dry and sore as it goes down. “Have one more sip. C'mon Yeol.” I knew this voice, but no matter how hard I tried to remember I couldn’t. Not at this particular moment at least.

Somewhere between then and now I had fallen asleep, which in my opinion is a good and bad thing. Good because I hadn’t gotten any in two days and bad because (Y/N) is still out there. Cold and hurt.

Opening my eyes I will myself up, looking around. Instantly I see Joon Oh and Bong Hee. Joon Oh was asleep so I make my way to Bong Hee. Holding my arm, I trudging towards her. She looks up. “Oh are you up?” I nodded. “How’s your arm?” She asks.

“Thanks to you guys, it feels much better.” And it was true, it didn’t hurt so bad now.

“That’s good, have a seat. I was making some porridge.” I take her invitation, sitting down next to her. “The only thing we can get here are fish and clams. It’s almost ready though.”

I stare into the fire as she talks, but I couldn’t fully pay attention, I was too worried about (Y/N). I don’t know how long I was out for, of how long she was out there by herself.

I draw my attention back to Bong Hee when she addresses me. “It’s done. Here use this as a spoon…” She stops herself short and I look at her then to my injured arm. Uh… She too notices the problem. “You can just drink it with your good hand.” Bong Hee hands me the coconut bowl.

I smile, “Thank you.” Slowly I bring the bowl to my lips, “By the way, there was something I want to ask you.” I was just about to take a sip when she blurts “Just how did you survive?” I hadn’t expected that and it makes me choke. I cough.

“Are you all right?” Bong Hee asks concerned, rubbing my back. “I’m sorry, that probably sounded weird.” I agree internally. “That’s not really what I meant. I just wanted to know how managed to survive by yourself…and how you knew we were here? That was what I truly meant.”

I swallowed deeply, looking back to her then the flames before me. “After the plane crashed, I woke up…and thought I was the only survivor. I couldn’t cope with it honestly, but then I found (Y/N), she was still in the water at the time. It scared me because I didn’t know how long she had been under there so I instantly rushed to save her. Afterwards we both waited for a few days, thinking that maybe a rescue team would arrive soon. Then we saw a light.”

Bong Hee pushes her hair out of her face. “Oh that light. That was last night, we grilled fish and ate it here.” Last night? Then that means I was out for a whole day? “Speaking of which, where is (Y/N)? She’s not with you?”

I shake my head, explaining her situation. Bong Hee smiles. “That’s good at least she’s alright. She’s lucky to have you, Yeol. You’re a good friend.”

She continues on. “We actually found a trace of someone with the name “Alden” over there. It might be some hope for us to survive. Although, I’m not sure what his nationality is, but it looked like he was here for a while before us. From what it seems, he got rescued after living on this island for 25 days.“ Instantly I feel my heart drop, this means… "Well, I mean that’s what I think.”

I look down, “Bong Hee. Have you ever thought about the possiblity that we might die here.” I hated to bring up the subject but after hearing that I couldn’t deny it anymore. Because what if it’s true. What if we end up like that Alden guy? I can see her considering it but, like (Y/N), she won’t accept it. I tear my gaze from her. “There is a big chance that no rescue team will come as it stands now.”

Bong Hee laughs nervously, “Gosh, why are you so pessimistic?”

“I’m not. I saw him. That Alden guy. Both me and (Y/N).”

Bong Hee’s face grows dark as she finally starts to face the reality. “Are you…serious?”

“If people were able to find this island and came here just once, wouldn’t they have taken the corpse we saw?” I wanted to tell (Y/N) this after I had seen him but I didn’t have the heart to crush her dreams, so I kept quiet about it and as the wonderful girlfriend she was, understood that. But now Bong Hee too, something had to be said.

Suddenly I hear Joon Oh move behind us, “Its cold.” He announces placing his hand on my head “Oh hey, you woke up.” I smiled. “Hyung!” He sits with us. “You two sure are chatty, I couldn’t even sleep.” He jokes. “Have you eaten anything yet?” I raise the porridge in my bowl.

He shakes his head. “Hey, that’s not going to be enough. You have to eat some fish. We caught so many.” Joon Oh looks over towards Bong Hee. “Let’s grill a few leftover fish from yesterday?” When she doesn’t answer him he asks. “What? Do we not have any?” He then remembers. “Oh, yeah we ate everything.” Joon Oh smiles. “That’s alright we’ll just go and catch a few more, then.”

Bong Hee begins to cry and Joon Oh sighs. “My goodness, look at you. You’re tattering my heart to pieces again. Hey, if you’re going to keep this up, I’ll fire you when we get back to Seoul.” He threatens waving a stick in her direction.

Finally Bong Hee reacts but not in the way I figured she would of. “Fine, fire me. Go ahead, you ass.” She stands, glaring down at him angrily. “Fire me! Fire me all you want if you’re lucky enough to get out of here that is. But you know what. You won’t be able to leave here! Neither of us will be able to get off the island. Do you understand that!?

Bong Hee reaches after Joon Oh. "Hey, why… What’s…” He begins but Bong Hee shakes him. “You asshole!” She yanks at his hair. Instantly I gasp, getting up to stop them. This was getting out of hand. “What the fuck? Are you out of your mind?” Bong Hee tosses him down into the sand. “You jerk. Make your own damn food and catch your own damn fish.” I grab Bong Hee with my good hand, trying to get her to stop but she just pushes me away.

“I won’t eat anything then!” Joon Oh shouts at her.

“Ugh, you’re unbelievable!”

Looking up from their bantering I noticed a light. “Hyung.” I call out. “Hyung!” Bong Hee finally stops and I pat him on the shoulder. “Joon Oh, Joon Oh get up.” He groans in pain, ridding of the loose hair that Bong Hee ripped from his scalp. She looks over towards me, furious that I broke them up but I ignore her. “What is it Yeol?”

I point forward, “Light.” Both glance in the direction I point, quickly growing silent.

“People? It must be people.” Bong Hee exclaims, hurriedly running in that direction. “Hey, wait! Do you even know where you’re going? Gosh.” Joon Oh yells but she was already gone. “It’s probably not people who came to rescue us like she thinks.” Joon Oh looks my way, shocked. “Hyung, they could be like us. Survivors. That means there are more people on this island, people we know!” I feel the excitement coursing through my veins. I smile happily. “I’ll be back, okay?”

“Yeol! Hey, you don’t even know where they are? Come back you’re injured. Yeol. Yeol!” Joon Oh calls out but I don’t listen. I follow Bong Hee.

I’m sorry Joon Oh, there could be a possibility that (Y/N) is with them and I can’t just leave that.

…

(A/N):

Sorry this took so long, it’s a lot harder writing something that is different from the show. Overall I enjoyed it, it gives a whole new experience. As of now things will be getting interesting in the next couple chapters so do look forward to it.

There are some secrets too, they are hinted in these two chapters, so if someone can pick them up I’d love to hear it. It’ll also be fun to see what you guys think I will do. It’s quite the twist, I’ll admit that.

Please leave comments and let me know if you like where it’s going. True it’s not much at the moment but I promise it will later one. Lastly thank you all for reading.

#missing 9 #false hope #chanyeol smut #chanyeol scenario #reader #long reads #solifiedjaporeanist21 #mine

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