#there's no way it won't be at least a couple thousand dollars

[thevagabondexpress]

guys, i'm not saying getting a bicycle will solve all of your problems, but it'll solve more of them than you think.

it's good for the environment —lower carbon footprint etc etc

it's good for your health —even on flat ground it still gets you a good workout, which is good for your physical health —it gets you that workout somewhere that's not a gym where you might feel stared at and judged which is good for your mental health and your self-image —it gets you out into sunshine and fresh air which is good for your mental health: you can touch grass and go places at the same time so if you don't have time to touch grass otherwise you can sneak it into your commute. —you really can't bicycle in high heels so you can use bicycling as your excuse to yourself and to everyone who wants to judge for wearing flat shoes and saving your feet. —you don't need a license to for a bicycle which saves you the mental stress of driving lessons and tests. —just the reward/payoff of the work you put into it: getting to the top of the hill, traveling further than you've gone before, doing a repair yourself, seeing another bicyclist on the street and knowing you're not alone

it's good for your bank account —bicycles are less expensive than cars by a lot. even new ones don't come in at much more than $800 (American dollars here for reference) unless you're ordering one of those swanky Dutch ones and shipping overseas, used ones are almost never over $150 and because they're not full of electric parts you can repair them over and over again so a used one won't be any lower quality than new, really. depending on how many bicyclists you know and how good your networking skills are sometimes you can get one secondhand for real cheap or even for barter or in return for doing odd jobs. meanwhile even the cheapest used cars are a couple thousand dollars usually. —bicycle repairs cost less than car repairs, and if you can learn to do them yourself they'll be even cheaper. —bicycles break down way less than cars so you'll be paying for repairs less frequently too —you don't have to pay to get it inspected once a year, neither do you have to pay for license plates, parking stickers, mandatory insurance, and all of the other bureaucracy that comes with driving a car —you don't have to pay for gas —you don't have to pay for parking, unlike cars where sometimes you have parking decks, parking lot toll booths, parking meters, etc. at least, i've never been anywhere you have to pay to park your bicycle. i guess it might happen in places where there are so many bicycles there's barely any space to park them all so you have to encourage people to walk or take skateboards somehow? but i don't really know.

it's good on space —you can fit three to five bicycles into the space taken up by a car depending on how close you're willing to shove them together. a single bicycle takes up space lengthwise (about four to five feet of it) but not even two feet widthwise. even a tricycle (and you can get adult tricycles and they can hold way bigger baskets and therefore way more stuff) takes up less than half the space of a car. imagine how much more other stuff you could fit in your garage.

in short, if you're at all capable of riding a bicycle, or a tricycle, get one and do it. at least borrow one from a friend for a weekend and try it to see if it's doable. it's so worth it.

[hoosurdaddy]

Chapter 5.

Pairing: post covid! Stan Marsh x Reader, post covid! Kenny McCormick x reader.

Triggers: 18+, cheating, smut,gaslighting. Reader is married to Stan, bad grammar, short.. Rushing this so I'm finally finished a series

--

You had arrived home, shaking the entire way as you thought about what Butter's must of heard or seen when you were talking to Kenny. He must heard everything. Oh God, oh God. You had arrived home, throwing yourself into the chair before you fainted as many excused came racing through your head to explain what Butter's had heard or seen at work. It was joke, Kenny was joking. He was always a pervert. You fueled it by saying I looked sexy in blue.

That would work right?

You had managed to control your breathing somewhat when Stan came through, slamming the front door. Oh shoot, he was angry. And rightly so, he was angry at you, he was angry at Kenny. You were about to be divorced. What if he already had the papers?

Stan walked into the living room, his face was red and his hair was a mess, clear indicating that he had been messing with it furiously. He didn't say anything, expect stare at you. Stan let out a heavy groan as he plopped himself down beside you, before resting his head onto your lap. "Hey baby."

Shocked, you rested your shaky hand ontop of Stan's head. He sounded tired, stressed, worried. "What's wrong?"

Stan let out another groan, burying his head into your legs more. "The shipment in Nebraska of the new fire whisky didn't come through. It got 'lost' in shipment. I've lost over a thousand dollars, even more, in cost." You gasped. Poor Stan, his business was everything to him.

"Is there anything anyone can do? Can HR or someone not get a hold of the shipment?" You asked as Stan shook his head on your legs.

"I have to go to Nebraska tomorrow to try sort something out." Stan frowned into your legs before looking up at you tomorrow. "I can't go to the party tomorrow, baby."

You frowned down at Stan when he turned his head to look up at you with his puppy dog eyes. "I can go with you." You frowned, your hands running through his hair to try calm him down somewhat.

Stan sighed as he covered his face. He sat there like that for a moment before shaking his head. "No baby, you go. It's Tweek's 35 birthday, You have too.. At least one of us."

"But I want to go with you."

Stan shook his head once more. "It won't be much fun anyways. I'll be gone all day and some of the night too. I promise I'll be okay, just be safe."

You nodded, frowning as you and Stan stayed there for a few moments before he left to take a shower for his road trip tomorrow. You had decided to make arrangements to stay at Heidi Turner's house tomorrow as she lived closer to the couple, instead of coming home to an empty house. Usually Stan was always there to help you when you got drank and was your favourite designated driver.

You were going to miss your husband tomorrow.

--

Stan had left early in the morning, kissing you goodbye at 6:30 in the morning. Heidi Turner had collected you at around 3:00 and both of you were ready before 7. You both had opted to have a glass or two of wine before heading to the party. When you both arrived, Craig answered the door and greeted the two of you.

"H-Hey G-gu-guys." Tweek stammered as he held up his badge that read '35' on it. You gave Tweek his card, instead of getting him a gift you gave him money instead. You looked around, hoping to find a glimpse of Stan. Maybe he was going to surprise you at the party? He wasn't.

You excused yourself to grab a drink in the kitchen. In the corner of your eyes, you seen Kenny. You prayed he wouldn't see you but he did. He came skipping over to you as you mixed your vodka and sprite.

"Hey. I didn't see you without Frank Gallagher hanging out of you." Kenny teased, nudging you lightly. You rolled your eyes as you poured more vodka than mixture into your cup. Just like college. After that close call with Butter's yesterday, you decided that there was no reason to continue this affair. You didn't trust yourself and you didn't trust Kenny either. Stan wasn't perfect, but every kiss, every touch you gave to Kenny, could of been extra cuddles and love making with Stan. You didn't want Kenny anymore.

Kenny reached over you, taking the vodka out of your hands and placed it back onto the table. You looked up at him confused as he also reached down to place your drink onto the table. "I missed you."

"Butter's is here, he almost caught us yesterday." You snapped.

"And now you're scared Stan will find out?"

"It's not fair to him, none of this is Kenny."

"So you're suddenly holy?"

"What? No I never said that. I'm saying us nearly getting caught yesterday made me realise how unfair to Stan this is."

"And he hadn't messed up before?"

"Of course, he has. But he's never cheated."

"Y/N, Stop." Kenny growled as he held up his hand. "Don't stand there and pretend Stan is the second coming of Christ."

"What?"

"Remember at college when he used to get to drunk he used to piss himself? Remember how he used to get so mad at you when you wanted him to slow down his drinking or to leave a party? All the names he used to call you."

This time, you raised your hand to stop Kenny. "I forgave him. We went to therapy, he got sober. Stan has paid his dues."

Kenny rolled his eyes, grabbing your hand as he sneaked you both upstairs into the first room he found. Craig and Tweek's spare room. Thankfully, Kenny had managed to pull you both away without any preying eyes. Or else, rumours would of spread faster than Mr Slave's STD results.

"You hate your friend, you were saying."

"I don't hate my friend, I hate your husband." Kenny replied as he sat down on the bed, his hand never letting go of yours. "You're with a guy who doesn't deserve you. He's never deserved you, Y/N."

You shrugged. It wasn't Stan's fault. He was a product of his father, and growing up on the farm wasn't the easiest either. It doesn't matter who Stan used to be, it mattered who he was now.

"I love him." You announced confidently. Who were you trying to convince? Yourself or Kenny.

"If you weren't with Stan, would you be with me?" Kenny asked. This gave you deja vu from last week when he asked you the exact same question. You stayed silent. "Would you?"

You dropped your head down, shoulder slumped. "You know I would, Kenny." You answered back so quietly, Kenny had to lean forward to double check if he had heard your right. He smiled at your answer. With the hand that was still holding yours, he pulled you down onto his lap, making you immediately try to jump up encase someone came up.

"Than be with me, be with me." Kenny repeated the mantra as he held you in place. He placed a kiss onto your shoulder. "Please be mine, we were always meant to be and you know that, we can leave South Park, leave Stan.. be mine."

As Kenny pulled you into a kiss, you couldn't help but forget about Butter's and yesterday's event. You tried so hard to fight to memory Stan's sad face as you cuddled him to sleep last night. But that was all forgotten when Kenny's fingers pulled down your dress zipper, making you slip out of your dress. Kenny pulled off his t-shirt, making you admire the scientist in all his glory. Gosh, Kenny was beautiful.

You both sprinted quickly to get the rest of your clothes off. Kenny laid you down on the bed, him ontop as he kissed your neck. Your hands trailed down to his cock, pumping his shaft softly as you both moaned and basked in each others glory. It was finally happening. Something that had been eventually going to happen.

Kenny sucked on one nipple while his free hand played with the other. This wasn't his ideal situation, Kenny had always preferred something more romantic for the two of you. His house with rose petals, champagne. But regardless, Kenny was happy to have you as his from here on out.

Kenny grabbed his cock, teasing your clit and entrance, enjoying your wetness from your foreplay. Kenny continued to tease your entrance until your whimpers of his teasing got the best of him. He pushed his cock into you. Sighing, at the sound of you moaning his name. He followed.

In this moment, you were just Y/N. You weren't married. You were his. All of his.

"Oh fuck, Kenny."

--

Kenny tried to catch his breath as he laid on his back with you on his chest. His fingers played with your sweaty hair as your chest moved against his. Everything was amazing. You looked so beautiful after your orgasm. Despite the fact you had a husband, it was perfect. Everything was perfect. You had a husband would die right now if he seen you. A loving husband who brought you fast food every saturday and had wine Friday's with you. A husband who vowed for better for worst, in sickness and in health. All you could do was stare. Stan deserved better.

"That was.. wow." Kenny let out a breathless laugh as he stared at the ceiling. He was expecting you to agree but instead, he felt wet pooling onto his chest. He looked down. You were crying? Tears dripped down your face as you stared into space. "Y/N? baby, what's wrong?"

This is not how he liked girls crying after sex. He quickly sat up as did you. You quickly shot up off the bed, grabbing your dress and underwear off the floor, muttering something about going home. Kenny tried to stop you, but you jumped away.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm a married woman who broke her vows." You cried, putting back on your bra and underwear. "I'm a whore."

"Y/N, Stop." Kenny muttered, as he stroked your arm gently. You, again, jumped away before putting on your dress. "You're not a whore.. Bebe is a whore, but you're not."

"I have a husband." You argued back. "Stan Marsh is my husband, and I love him."

"You wouldn't of slept with me if you loved him." Kenny couldn't understand how you could still love Stan after the incredible love you both just made.

"And I broke my vows, I am a married woman, and I am a whore." You continued as you slipped on your dress. Your vision was blurry as tears continued to race down your face.

"You're not a whore, baby. You're not."

"And I am a married woman,"

Kenny stood up, nude, as he tried to get to beg you to come back to his and talk it out, maybe go for round 2? But in your state, it didn't look like Kenny wasn't going to get any more action tonight. Instead, he grabbed your shoulders. "Leave him, we go away together. We can go anywhere in the world together, we can leave right now. You won't need clothes, I'll buy you some. And, and, we can move so far away no one will ever find us."

"NO. I love Stan." You yelled back at Kenny, causing him to look at you in shock. You both just stared at each other for a moment before shaking Kenny off. "I'll see you at work." You gave Kenny once last look before heading out of the room, and straight out of Craig and Tweek's house. You had messaged Heidi that you were getting an Uber home, who gave you some drunk reply.

On the uber home, you cried and cried.

--

Once at home, you quickly changed into your pyjamas shorts and Stan's t-shirt he was wearing yesterday. You had to call Stan, you had to hear his voice. He answered immediately.

"Hey sweetie. I didn't think you and Heidi would be finished."

"I didn't feel good, so I came home." You muttered out, playing with the end of his shirt to try stop yourself from crying. "I wasn't having fun anyways. I miss you so much." You could hear Stan smiling down the phone.

"I miss you too sweetie." Stan replied. "But I'll be home tomorrow. I have amazing news."

"I can't wait." You replied, clearing your dry throat which caused Stan to become concerned.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

Again, you cleared your throat. "I think I'm just tired." You sighed, but smile when you remembered that Stan would be home tomorrow. "I'll be okay when you're home tomorrow.. I love you so much Stan."

"And I love you sweetie. Sleep well, okay?"

"Okay, Good night."

Stan smiled when you hung up the phone. Everything in your life was about to get so much better. Although, Stan would give nothing more than to curl up into your body and hold you all night long. Where he belonged, where you belonged, where your life was just beginning.

[jimin-jungshook-over-literalbae]

BTS Reacts to Going to Hot Topic/Spencer's

Hey guys! Look who can actually do titles again because I'm on a computer! This is going to make my life so much easier. I've been using an iPad for a while because my laptop got damaged and now I can play with a lot of the stories that I have in the works! I'm super excited! Keep your eyes out for it!

Requst: I have another bts reaction request! Can you write a bts reaction where you take them to hot topic or Spencer’s? Those are my favorite stores. I just think it’d be cute imagining them going to stores like that! And seeing their reaction to the emo/scene stuff.

Jin

I feel like Jin would be the most unsure about these stores. He's probably the most traditional out of the guys so he's not really the all black and anime nerd kind of guy. Don't me get wrong, I'm pretty sure all of BTS has watched Naruto at the very least, but I don't think he's the type who has anime merch unless he's getting something really cute, like from the Hello Kitty selection. Spencer's would almost be tramautizing to him, honestly. The man would not know what the to do with the spicy section at the back of the store. He's definitely the type to do that kind of shopping online so he is generally very, very uncomfortable.

2. Suga

Yoongi would probably be okay with Hot Topic, I'm not sure he's much of a Spencer's guy though. He's also a little more reserved than some of the other guys so the spicy section is something he would like avoid altogether. However, he would at the very least find some gifts or something for the maknae line. He's the type to generally get easily exhausted by shopping so he's just kind of following behind you, probably holding your hand, and occasionally inspecting things with that little curious head tilt of his.

3. J-Hope

Hoseok is a fashion guy, I'm sure he could find something he liked at either store. However, he might burst into flames upon seeing the spicy section of Spencer's. He's, by no means, a reserved guy but knowing that they're kind of just on display for people to see has him feeling both awkward and very unsure. Being a big shopper, he's likely carrying way more bags than one person should feasibly manage and living his best life.

4. RM

Namjoon wouldn't likely buy anything at either store but he doesn't mind going into either store with you. He's never been much of an emo boy, usually the type to go for comfort with his personal clothing so he doesn't really buy anything. More the type to just offer to buy you purchases for you if you're stuck between a few options. Likely not really bothered by the spicy section.

5. Jimin

Ever seen a kid in a candy store? Yeah? That's Jimin in Hot Topic. It's been proven a couple of times that the maknae line watches a lot of anime so he would be the type to buy a bunch of merch he doesn't need and probably won't wear. Pokemon pajama pants? Sure. Naurto hoody? Absolutely! The man is living his best life. Spencer's isn't much better, the man is definitely walking away with a basket of toys he's way too eager to use and too many t-shirts.

6. V

Taehyung is a much more reserved version than Jimin. What I mean is that he is trying to pretend he's not the most excited person in the universe but his arms are full and there's no carts so the man is struggling. He's not much better in Spencer's. It's a good thing the man is rich because he definitely spent thousands of dollars. He's immune the spicy section, the man's confidence is too high now. He's confidently bought some toys he wants you to use on them and he's determined.

7. Jungkook

Jungkook is worse than Taehyung. He's bought way too much stuff, except it's all black. It's a good thing the boy is stronge because his wallet may be lighter but he has too many bags. I'm not sure he would even be able to see. The cashier honestly looks a little concerned. Did he also do the same thing at Spencer's and now you're not sure you're actually going to fit in the car to ride home? Probably. Did he buy some wild shit at Spencer's and you now have more questions than answers? Also yes.

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you have any other requests! I love writing what you want to see! I also do scenarios!

[oldguy56-world]

Waterworld

There are three things all people need to survive in the world: food, water and air. For food we can last quite a while without it. Currently I am approaching 11 years without having a donut so that says something. (Not sure what exactly). We can survive without water for a few days at best and as for air, give it four minutes tops. That makes air the winner in needs for us. (Interesting that while we need water if we stay under it for too long the need for air kicks in. Too bad we aren't like other species and have a blow hole, or at least one we can breathe through).

Perhaps you have guessed by reading the title that I am going to discuss the middle one, water today. My fascination was brought about yesterday when a scheduled overnight shut down of our water turned into a full extra half day. I had diligently timed my peeing to coincide with available flush times and this was completely thrown off when I discovered after waking up that it was not to be. Like any true survivor I headed over to the closest mall and marked some territory there. (relax. I used their facilities)

Cooking was going to be fun as most of our recipes involve water. We are fancy that way. There was a brief spurt from the kitchen sink but it would be best described as sludge that came out. Not an appetizing name for anything that is liquid you would want to drink. (Wait a minute! Perhaps a Slurpee that is made of fudge. The Sludge. I will look into that and get back to you.)

Anyway all was fine before supper and I am happy to say we had a nice meal. It did get me to thinking about water while we did not have it though and I thought I would share these ideas with you.

Humans are made up of mainly water yet we get flabby and lumpy. Is there something in this magical water we need to be concerned about? I have never seen flabby or lumpy water but maybe it is like that in other places we don't know about. So now the nightmares begin again.

People like to frolic in the water. So do gators and sharks. God really does have a sense of humor doesn't he? (She? I won't go down that road)

Everything we drink is 99% water, so why is a bottle of pop a couple of dollars and a bottle of wine can be a couple of thousand dollars. Are grapes that expensive? I may be wrong on this but I believe someone is making some fast money here. (Related topic. A liter of Coke goes for a couple of bucks but a pound of Coke goes for...I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me, but think about it. Same stuff that somehow the addition of water brings the price way down. My head is starting to hurt)

What if there were no oceans? How bad would the Earth smell with all those fish laying around? (Don't think too deep on that one). Or would they all have legs and feet to run around? Who needs a shark running at them while they are jogging? And how many legs would a whale require to be able to move?

What makes rain fall? It goes up and then for no reason it decides to come back to Earth. Does it miss its friends?

How come no matter what combination of foods we eat we pee yellow? Except beets. We need to look into beets.

How come most people want to vacation near the ocean but very few go in? It is much cheaper to just lie down outside your house on a sunny day. Could it be we want to see water but not get involved with it?

As you can see having the water shut off at our place for a few hours seemed to dry my brain out, or maybe it was the alternate liquids I chose to partake in that brought these thoughts to me. I should run a Beta test and find out.

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK: Water is essential for the survival of the human race. So why is so much effort put into polluting it?

[staringdownabarrel]

I feel like a big thing people tend to forget when it comes to couples who only stay together for the kids is that sometimes "just get a divorce" isn't a viable option. Yes, at least here in the West, most people have access to no-fault divorces. They can just go get one if they really want one. However, that isn't actually the problem.

The actual problem is that there's a lot of people--and in practice, this is usually men--who'll get a divorce, but then won't ever pay a cent in child support, or will maybe pay a little bit but then fall tens of thousands of dollars behind. That old stereotype of the deadbeat father who refuses to pay child support despite having a job, or quits his job or finds under-the-table employment specifically to avoid paying it, isn't some old wives' tale. There really are people like that out there.

So nine times out of ten, what "staying together for the kids" means in practice is that the mother knows the marriage isn't good, but she's staying because she thinks getting child support from the father will be like extracting teeth. It isn't always a choice between either raising the kids in a home where their parents are always fighting or a home where they're divorced but coping better emotionally; sometimes it's either the home where they're always fighting or poverty.

I can't actually prove this, but I suspect this is the root cause of a lot of the divorces where two people stay together for decades and then suddenly get a divorce after the youngest kid finishes high school. Of course getting the divorce would be preferable under ideal circumstances, but they don't get the ideal circumstances. They get the devil's choice.

At least anecdotally speaking, this tends to play out in the cases I know of where this happens. Let me give you an example. For a while, I had the misfortune of working with a man who'd gotten a divorce shortly after his youngest child had gone off to university. When I asked him about why he got divorced, his response was basically "uh, the kids grew up and then she decided she didn't love me anymore?".

What stuff like this usually means in practice is that she'd had that planned for years and he was the last to know about it. I totally get why she divorced him--he was emotionally immature in a way that might have been endearing when they were 21, but disappointing when they reached their thirties or forties and she realised he hadn't matured like she had. Unsurprisingly, his kids didn't really have a lot to do with him, and he seemed confused as to why.

When you're talking about people like this, they're not really going to understand that child support is important. Even if you explain it to them, they won't get it. They just think it's free money that mothers get for divorcing men. This is one of the main reasons why they won't pay it even if they're in a position to. It's why you hear so many stories of people having to be in and out of court for years--most of the child(ren)'s school years, even--over unpaid child support.

And look, none of this is to say that nobody should ever get a divorce ever. My parents got a divorce and I think it's one of the best things they ever did for me. But I'm also looking at this from a position of relative privilege: when I lived with my mother, my dad paid more child support than he was legally obligated to, and he always paid it on time. Even on the rare occasions when he couldn't do that, he had what he owed and what he'd missed ready the next week. What I'm trying to say is that even though I had certain privileges, and I'm assuming a lot of people on Tumblr also had them, it can't be taken as a given that everyone would have had them.

The other thing that my parents did right was that was never any major disputes over custody. They both kept to the agreement on that front, and there was never a point where they decided to go to court over it.

This can't be taken for granted, either. There's a lot of cases where one parent or the other will try to sue for custody, or even sue for the original custody agreement to be followed. At least in the cases I know of where this happens and the custody agreement is being followed and abuse isn't a factor, it's either because of money or one parent's ego. At least in my state, part of how much you owe in child support is decided is up to how much time the child physically spends with you.

I'm sure there'll be someone who reads this and goes, "Yeah okay, but none of this would have applied to my parents. They still should have gotten a divorce." That probably is true for a lot of people. There are a lot of people out there who'll let a bad relationship drag on for years before they end it either because they don't realise it's bad or because they're scared of what comes next.

What I would point out though is that this may not be entirely true, or maybe wouldn't have been evident while it was happening. The one thing I know about breakups is that you don't always know how it's going to go until it happens. Even if you knew how they responded to their last breakup, that can't always be taken as true for their next. Everyone who's had multiple relationships end will have regrets about how some ended--they'll wish they'd have said one thing instead of another, or they'll wish they'd responded differently in general. This is especially true if they've had years to dwell on it.

The other thing in this regard is that quite often, children don't know their parents as well as they think they do. A lot of the time, parents won't mention something or will try to downplay another because they're trying to protect the kids. (Of course, the inverse is also true--parents don't always realise how much their kids pick up on, so the kids often know their parents better than they realise.) Quite often, you won't know how your parents respond to a breakup until they divorce because that's the first time you will have seen it.

Because of that, it's entirely possible that the parent you think will always pay their child support or will keep to the custody agreement might not. Sometimes they won't specifically to spite this other person that they've divorced and probably resent to some extent, and won't realise how damaging that is to their kids until years later, if ever.

So while I agree that more people should get divorced and it is true that people will stay together for years longer than they should, I think it's important to realise there are nuances to this. Sometimes everyone involved knows it's a bad relationship but can't leave because the alternative might be even worse.

[ass-sassafras]

Tw: talk of suicide attempts and suicidal ideation.

I'm in a weird place right now. I bit the bullet and told him I don't want a relationship with him or anyone. He was sad and said I'm his best friend. It was amicable but both of us were sad. Then he went against his word and just "wanted a couple of beers." Well, Tumblr we all know what happened then. He finished off his six pack very fast then started on the wine he bought for me that I didn't ask for. We then proceeded to have a night of him screaming at me, calling me names and being as nasty and immature as possible.

The next day I said if he brings any alcohol into the house, I won't be giving him a few weeks to get his shit together and move out, he'll be moving out immediately with no money and a non-working car.

I had a cup of coffee and then went to look for yard sales so I can buy myself a bike. While I was out he sent me a text saying he feels like such a fool, and he's sorry for everything, everything. He said I deserve so much better.

In the end, he seems to understand that although I don't hate him, I'll never trust anyone again. He was my last attempt after my divorce to see if I could have a healthy relationship. I can't. It's not just the aromantic asexual part of me. There are deep psychological issues that are part of who I am. I need as much control over my life as possible, I need peace and I need to know what to expect.

I'm really going to miss him, but I'll only be missing the person he is 10% of the time, maybe 20% on a good day. But even if he checked all the boxes (responsible, stable, good for my kids, funny, nice to me and willing to compromise, no temper) I would still want to be alone. He started to cry at one point and asked if I can hug him. I did and we just sat on the couch and cried together.

We've been really honest with each other now that we know it's over. I admitted that I have been researching the least painful, most effective ways to kill yourself and this led to an odd but very honest conversation about suicide and how much the world sucks. He's had 2 serious suicide attempts that put him in the hospital before we met. I've never tried but the thought has been my shadow for most of my adult life.

He's the only person with whom I can have a frank discussion and be 100% honest. He doesn't want me to kill myself, but he knows what it's like to look toward the future with such deep feelings of hopelessness. I hate guns and I've never touched one, but I told him about how I went in to the local gun shop (Indiana USA so they're like cockroaches) and asked about prices and background checks. He was surprised and told me he didn't know it was getting that bad. I told him I know that when I talk about it, it just makes me feel worse and worries the other person.

I'm afraid that if I talk to my family about it, they'll either use God as motivation because they think I still believe, or they'll freak out and try to get me into a psych ward which I'm sure won't help and I'll be charged thousands of dollars that I don't have. But at least they'll feel like they did their job because suicidal thoughts make people uncomfortable. They just want them to go away as soon as possible.

This was supposed to be an update post in case anyone on here has read the shit I've posted about my so. Devolved into other stuff.

So in summary I will soon get to know what it's like to be single as an ace. We'll see how this goes.

[csmcwtch]

I understand this comes from a place of stress because we live in a hell world that only seems to be getting worse, I'm doing my best to be mindful of that.

what I see in this thread though, these comments, these tags, feels like a disconnect from reality. the same way online liberals in 2016 blamed Clinton's loss on "the Bernie bros" who they claimed didn't show up to vote despite the fact that we did. then in 2020 spoke as though Bidens victory had nothing to do with us.

I'll get this out of the way now I am in no way saying that I will not vote nor do I mean to discourage anyone from voting but I understand it may come off that way; I think people really need some added perspective on all of this though.

For context I'm a white trans woman from the state of Iowa. I'm not out socially nor do I currently present myself in an openly trans way; to the rest of the world I'm probably just a weirdly shaped cis man. I'm well aware of the privilege I continue to experience living this way even if I internally reject it. I make just under fifteen thousand dollars a year. I have no formal training or a college education. I've never known financial stability in my adult life. this also applies to a lot of my friends and peers and almost certainly a lot people who might see this so you may understand where I'm coming from.

Donald Trump is most likely going to be re-elected in the 2024 US presidential election. I fucking hate that I have to type that it's a bitter pill to swallow. I'm not trying to scare anyone but I do honestly believe we need to live with that expectation. This does somewhat lead into my main thesis here:

I fundamentally do not believe that electoral politics will help us.

At least not yet. I have a 'why' in mind though I'll get to that.

What I do not mean is "and now it's time to start firebombing walmarts!" as evil a corporation as walmart is the reality is that a LOT of working class people rely on it for jobs and affordable food. What I'm also not saying is that we can expect to see real meaningful positive change completely non-violently and if you do believe that you're delusional, just, you know, it can be used smartly (like on oligarchs.)

What I do mean by electoral politics won't help us is that I'm 34 years old and I've seen with my own eyes over the course of my entire lifetime how they've continued to fail us. Do you remember how many elected democrats were immediately on board with war in Afghanistan and Iraq after 9/11? It was so god damn many! So many innocent people died because both parties agreed that it was the right thing to do! I'm aware they're the lesser of two evils but stop fucking pretending the differences are so vast.

Why do I think and feel this way? Enough to write all of this in hopes to quell any of the panic I see in people fearing the worst of the future and potentially to get people to understand the communities around them a bit better? I do have a few reasons all of which I feel are valid.

My first couple reasons have to do with voting itself.

Voter apathy. This is my weakest point and i already know that but firmly believe in its validity. Looking at data for the last couple of presidential elections has voter turnout average about 60% of people eligible to vote doing so. That's still over a third of people who aren't voting who can and that's a lot of people. I'm not talking about the very online sort of people currently saying that Biden is just as bad as Trump. I'll acknowledge that those people exist but I see them being used as a strawman like they're a much larger problem than they actually are. I'm not talking about people not caring either. I fundamentally believe that people in general do care and would rather see everyone around them lifted up together. I don't even believe that most conservatives want marginalized groups to face the oppression that we do but believe that we all deserve to live our lives however we see fit and who cares what people think, but they don't get candidates like that. There's also the very loud openly fascist conservatives who I see as a loud minority because I don't see posts online as a good indication of real life. Apathetic voters to me are people in situations perhaps similar to my own or worse. People who are barely able to get by if they're even able at all. People who, like me, saw the way that democrats and republicans together decided to start an endless war in the Middle East. Watched Barack Obama stand on a stage and take a sip of water from a glass expecting all of us to believe that the water crisis in Flint, Michigan was solved. It's been a decade since then by the way, while the situation with Flints water has improved it still hasn't been fully resolved. In 2020 these people watched how elected democrats fell over themselves to express how much they love and respect police as they brutalized this country's own citizenry for having the audacity to protest the way cops are allowed to kill people with little to no consequence. The votes to ban tiktok, to decry "from the river to the sea" as an antisemitic slogan were bipartisan efforts! And I know those aren't things that impact everyone's day to day life but I do think that they're still good examples of ways that a lot of elected officials don't really even view themselves as representatives of their constituents. The only people who care about banning tiktok are open xenophobes who've been made aware that it's a Chinese owned company. Israel's continued genocide (and I saw at least a couple people in the tags try to get away with saying it isn't a genocide and to you I say: you're part of the problem go fuck yourself) is less popular by the day. But that's what the people we voted for spent their time voting on. Not student debt relief. Nothing about the steadily climbing cost of living. Nothing in any way substantially meaningful to improving people's lives. All this and more for peoples entire lives how can anyone in good conscience hold it against any person who chooses not to vote. This is the weakest of my points and I fully acknowledge that. I don't even believe that there's a particularly large amount of people who choose not to vote due to apathy but I cannot find it in myself to be mad or upset at anyone making that decision, there are good reasons! The way people are trying to publicly shame anyone who chooses not to vote is fucking disgusting and only displays the way you are in an ideological bubble. ITS NOT BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T CARE ITS BECAUSE THEY'RE ALREADY BEING NEGLECTED BY SOCIETY!!

My next point is the real issue I think is important to consider and I have a lot less to say about because I think it's relatively self explanatory which is: voter suppression. It takes many forms and I want to mention a few I feel important but is by no means a comprehensive list. Policing, for one. By which I mean that when someone is sent to prison on felony charges making them a felon they lose the right to vote for the rest of their lives. You don't get that back when you're released. If you don't understand where I'm going with this: possession of enough cannabis at one time is a felony in the United States. My own state of Iowa has voter ID laws meaning if you show up to your polling place without a valid photo ID you cannot vote. I think any obstacles to voting beyond initial registration is bullshit and only done for the wrong reasons but I feel especially strongly about this one being that it literally hits close to home. Going to the DMV or city hall or court to obtain or update documents is already bad enough but add on top of that something like neurodivergence that probably becomes a much bigger ask. Another reason that I know is becoming a greater issue is that we've been getting a steady flow of migrants here and while they may have citizenship making them eligible to vote nine times out of ten they're a person of color who speaks English as a second language and while I don't know how that would impact someone's ability to attain a valid photo ID it's safe to assume it would become more difficult; the Iowa government did a few years ago pass a bill mandating all documents related to voting be printed only in English so they can't even pretend like it isn't on purpose. There's the old classic gerrymandering. You know, like that congressman who wears an image of his fucked up mangled district on his eyepatch like he's proud of. He most likely is proud of it because he probably wouldn't have won an election if it weren't fucked up like that. One example I would understand people may not be aware of is that polling places can be moved or closed, often at a moments notice leaving a bunch of people who now don't even know where they are meant to go to vote.

I don't know how much anyone reading this is involved in their community so I don't want to try to assume and I'll say that if you aren't you should be, assuming you are physically able. I understand that that's not the case for everyone. What I truly think will make a positive difference for the most people you can you should be an activist. You should be out protesting. Yeah you might get beat by cops and you might get arrested on nonexistent charges, that's an intimidation tactic to try to get you to stop. If you really care though you need to be willing to put things like your body on the line. Volunteer your time through an organization or independently. Find a neighbor and talk to them for a few minutes. Become more active in local politics. Each state in this country is basically it's own autonomous zone for the most part, the more difference you can make on a local or state level it usually isn't the federal governments problem. As for the reality of local and state governments that are deeply conservative such as my own what a lot of people don't seem to understand is that a lot of the most heinous, hateful bills that may pass your state house or senate usually get killed by judges because even conservative judges pride themselves on being Constitutional and will laws only designed to strip rights. Bother the shit out of your local representatives. I'm not even talking about violence here but the fact that elected officials are public servants and as a part of the public they're obligated to hear you out. As long as you aren't being aggressive or hostile legally there's nothing they can do to stop you and what people in positions of power really hate is being made uncomfortable in public.

I understand the pain, the fear, the anger of the way things are I hope this all comes across as coming from a place of compassion. What I see here though is people taking out their emotions in the wrong way on the wrong people and seeming to have no sense of awareness for the community around them and how if you are there for other people they'll be there for you too! Log off.

By existing as a citizen in and paying taxes to the imperial core, we automatically hold complicity in imperialist oppression because we are literally footing the bill for it. That is just the basic nature of being born to privilege in systems of oppression in general. We can be disadvantaged and marginalized in every single other consideration and we still have to understand and cope with this, and ensure we leverage it as effectively as possible.

Voting abstinence/sabotage does not absolve us of our responsibility to do everything in our power to lessen harm, but it DOES show that when our personal morals aren't satisfied, we retreat into (imperialist, this time) privilege to 'wash our hands' of the situation and declare it's not our fault and it's not our problem.

[winterburnwriting]

Hello There!

No, it isn't a dead blog until I let it die! Yes, it has been about 2 months since I last posted. And I wish I were coming back to tell you all that I was absent for so long because I was spending that time working very hard on the short novel. Unfortunately, that isn't really the case. Truth be told, I didn't have much going on that was preventing me from working, I just didn't feel like working on it and failed to summon the willpower to make it happen.

However, I did also have a computer problem in the last week. My primary computer several years ago was a decent enough (at the time) PC with a GTX 1070 and such. Nothing fancy, but it was fine. Then I went to college for one year and decided early into that I was going to buy a high-end laptop, since I had to buy one for classes anyway. I bought an Alienware m17 R4. It was a nice ugprade from my PC so I used it as my primary computer for the last couple of years. Since October 2021, I think. This is what I was writing my book on.

Unfortunately, it has been losing functions and components bit by bit for a very long time and seemed to be headed towards total lemon-ness. I was down to no wi-fi, no trackpad, no bluetooth (without a USB adapter), and no built-in screen (I used an external monitor). It was not looking great. Then it seemed to reject all video output whatsoever. Then it decided it didn't want to boot. I tried to open it up and diagnose and fix the issue to no avail. I sealed it back up, and it had the same issue plus a loud beeping! I mean, very loud. I kinda gave up at this point and decided to order some nice new parts for my now-old PC.

Once I had gotten some parts together I opened my laptop back up to take the SSDs out and put them into my Franken-PC. Then I saw something shocking. The battery ribbon cable.... was not plugged back in for the last test. I say "to hell with it!" and plug it back in, and I try to test the laptop again. And wouldn't you know it? It works fine. I am 850 dollars into the hole on a new emergency PC build. And the laptop works fine.

This was frustrating, but the laptop was going to die sometime soon anyway. So I go ahead with building the PC, I move the SSDs over, and I set everything back up the way it was before I got the laptop. Just with a nicer GPU and a worse CPU.

At least videogames look prettier now.

And I am now using my old mechanical Corsair keyboard, which I had bought towards the end of using my PC before switching to the Alienware. So that will take some getting used to for writing. But speaking of writing.... (drumroll please!)

I'm halfway done writing the first draft of my short novel!

This isn't as impressive as where I'd like to be by now, but it's still neat. I hit 23,291 words at the end of my writing session today, and I am aiming for around 45ish thousand words for the final product. Hopefully it won't take me so long to write the second half. I just need to stay productive, and maybe I can finish the draft by the end of June! I would really like to be (self) published in the Fall so I can start working on my first big proper novel in the last quarter of this year.

Anyway, since I haven't written very much since I last wrote here, I won't be leaving an excerpt. That, and it's 2:15 AM and I have work at 11 AM in the morning. So I should sleep. But I will be posting here again!

I hope this blogpost finds you well, and I wish you a lovely day.

[thisworldisablackhole]

I’ve been wanting to talk about the 1982 film adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s groundbreaking novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" since I finally watched it for the first time ever a couple weeks ago. I’m going to dive into my thoughts on the book first since I read it prior to watching the film and I think that perspective is important to keep in mind. This is gonna contain lots of spoilers, so look away if you haven’t read or watched yet.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? is hilarious. First and foremost. The sense of humour in this book is subtle but knee slappingly funny at the same time. The subtly of the humour comes from the normalization of absurdity that persists as basic truths in the lives of this novel’s inhabitants. Such basic truths that said inhabitants would never understand why you think their lives are funny. In fact, there is nothing funny at all about having to perform regular maintenance on my electric sheep (because I can’t afford a real one) in order to keep my neighbours from suspecting that I lack empathy and therefore may be a humanoid robot, thank you very much!

One of my favourite things about this book by far is this overwhelming obsession with living creatures. In a real life dystopian future, the extinction of animal life would be accepted for what it is. Sure, it would have catastrophic effects on our eco system, and common house cats (if kept alive) would become exotic symbols of status for the ruling class. The thing that sets Dick's universe apart from ours (for now at least), is the existence of androids so realistic that it is impossible to tell them apart without putting them through an empathy test. Androids can fake empathy, but their autonomic nervous system won't align with their response. Their heart rate won't rise, their pupils wont flutter. It's because of this that simply owning and caring for an animal becomes proof of the owners humanity. An android would never feed a squirrel three times a day and make sure it's cage is clean. Surely not.

Bounty hunter Rick Deckard is stopped dead in his tracks by this obsession multiple times throughout the book. His electric sheep is beginning to show signs of failure, and furthermore, his neighbour has a real horse. This makes Rick feel like a lesser man. Why shouldn't he also have a real animal? He stops at a local dealer to find that the cost of an organic heartbeat would cost him thousands upon thousands of dollars. He could put a down payment on a goat for $3,000, but he would have to work all day and retire at least three andy’s to afford it. Philip K. Dick sneaks in tangents about animals and their cost into this book in such a witty way that it just reads as pure comedy gold every time.

Aside from being really funny, this book is also touching and emotional. Secondary main character John Isadore is a “chicken head”; someone who has suffered neurological damage from the dust of decay that encapsulates earth. He didn’t pass the IQ test that would allow him to emigrate to mars, so he lives alone in an abandoned building with his only company being the television, and his empathy box which he can use to fuse with Mercer (a sort of religious figure and experience). John has a heart of gold and his main motivations in the book are connection and acceptance. When he discovers a fugitive android has moved into his otherwise empty building, he immediately formulates a plan to make this stranger feel welcomed. He brings to them… a cube of margarine. That’s what good neighbours do, right? At the end of the book, Rick eviscerates John’s new companions, turning his apartment into crime scene to be evacuated at once. He is kicked back to square one, left with nothing and no one. To see someone so pure in their intentions be taken advantage of and dismissed is one of the most twisted and heartbreaking ends to a story I’ve ever read. Damn you Philip.

I didn’t fully grasp some of the stuff about Mercerism to be honest. Fusing with the empathy box, trudging up a hill and getting stoned by imaginary rocks that somehow manifested with real wounds. It was all a bit hard to follow, but it was visceral and added a layer of complexity to the culture of Dick’s world that I appreciated.

I was a huge movie geek in my later teens and early 20s when I was an underachieving NEET living at home and doing fuck all. I recall times where I would just lay on the couch and watch 3-4 movies in a day. I was addicted to the feeling of gut wrenching emptiness I would get after watching a bleak, honest tragedy like Ordinary People or Oslo, August 31. Blade Runner had been on my watch list for years, but for some reason I never felt inspired to watch it until I finally read Philip K Dick's book. Perhaps at the time I just wasn't interested in sci fi detective stories. Seeing Harrison Ford dressed in a trench coat and tie reminded me too much of my dad's infamous Columbo marathons.

I'll get the pro's out of the way first. Blade Runner is visually stunning. It's absolutely dripping in style. The set design is incredible, showcasing a colourful neon city that is equally as dominated by futuristic technology as it is garbage and degeneracy. The director portrays this world in a highly cerebral fashion that will make you feel like you're in a dream state, for better or worse. Unfortunately the visual side of the film is about all it has going for it, and it feels like they put so much effort into making things look good that they forgot how to tell a good story. If I hadn't read DADOES? prior to watching this movie I would have had no idea what was going on. Dialog is sparse and dry and character development is almost non existent. Characters are introduced to you like you are just supposed to know who they are already. Luckily I did.

I am aware that Blade Runner is simply based off of the book and not a 1:1 adaptation, so I won't fault it for being different. I will however criticize it for it's complete lack of humour or emotional depth. They stripped out almost every facet of the world that made Dick's novel so captivating to focus solely on the narrative of a bounty hunter tracking down androids. There are no empathy boxes. There is no talk of Mercerism. Rick doesn't even seem to care about animals. Not to mention the awkward "love" scene between him and Racheal. Not only was it fully consensual in the book, but it was actually all part of Racheal's plan to cause Rick to feel some sort of empathy towards androids and stop killing them. In the film it comes off as chauvinistic.

On the flip side, J.F. Sebastian, who is based off of John Isadore's character, is hard to empathize with (ironic, no?). J.F. Sebastian is an oddball, but he is by no means a chicken head. He's a genetic designer for the Tyrell corporation who works on androids and builds living toys to keep himself company in his spare time. I did enjoy the spin on his character to an extent, but he doesn't have half the charm of Isadore, and I was beginning to feel frustrated by the writers decisions to copy some things from the book word for word while completely altering others.

The best part of the whole film for me by far was the ending fight/chase scene between Rick and Roy Batty. Now that shit had my full, undivided attention. Roy's full blown psychopathy in this scene was chilling - dislocating Rick's fingers and then playing mind games, slowly counting down from five to give him a head start. Roy cries over Pris' dead body and it makes you question exactly who is lacking empathy here. The sound of rain fills the scene as Roy howls like a wolf and stalks our protagonist through large barren rooms of a haunted mansion. One of the coolest parts of this sequence to me is the verticality of it all. Rick scales a towering cabinet to break through the ceiling into the second floor where he finds a bathroom to hide in. Roy then slams his head through the tiled wall which culminates in a scene clearly inspired by The Shining. From here the chase continues upwards by going out the window and scaling the buildings gothic exterior toward the roof.

Roy could have easily killed Rick during any point during this face off, but instead chooses to save him from falling to his death. Roy hints that all he wanted was to make Rick feel the same sense of fear that androids are faced with their whole lives, living as slaves on Mars. Roy then sits down, cradling a dove, and reaches the natural expiration date of his design - powering off forever. I could probably watch this whole ending altercation scene over and over again. The tension, symbolism and poetry of it all puts the rest of the film to shame.

In conclusion, Blade Runner was disappointing with it's lack of a fleshed out world, flat character arcs and ineffective story telling. It was however highly successful in it's ability to communicate a palette of moods with it's visceral, dream like direction, stunning set design and strong visual identity. I just found myself longing for the sense of humour and cultural richness that made the original story so appealing. I wanted to see Rick's electric sheep. I wanted to hear him chastise Isadore (Sebastian) for setting a spider loose instead of capturing it in a jar to sell like any other sane person would. It's those kind of silly details that would have really enriched the narrative of the film.

Guess I'll just read the book again.

[oonajaeadira]

@littleredpandanaps @cas-readsandwrites @for-a-longlongtime @boliv-jenta @rifflovesjoey

@sixhours @toomanytookas @schnarfer @littlemissskuld @maggiemayhemnj

@cheekychaos28 @missredherring @insomniamamma @nothoughtsjustmeds

@something-tofightfor @jessthebaker

Thank you all for your very very very kind words. You have no idea how helpful they were.

Here's what was going on.

On the final day of my annual event--the event I work all year to plan and make and manage--I woke to a woman screaming. And I will never ever unhear that sound.

Gordy is our Aussie Shepherd rescue. He's 7 years old, very submissive to people, very loving and fluffy and smart and well trained. Except when it comes to other dogs. He is heavily dog reactive. It's a reaction born out of intense fear and trauma, and it's a lot. We only discovered the severity of it after we adopted him last December and have since done some light training with him and talked to other reactive dog owners about their experiences. Mostly we wanted to do our best by him and give him a good home.

We discovered too late that we have a faulty latch on one of our gates and Gordy got out and attacked another dog that was being walked by our house.

I didn't witness it myself--the SO went out to break it up and handle it all. I just heard her screaming. I still hear it.

The morning was a whirlwind of worry and information sharing and washing the blood out of Gordy's fur. The owner didn't want to talk to us directly so a kind neighbor helped to give her all our contact info and Gordy's vaccination records.

I spent a lot of the day in tears and that evening trying to enjoy the closing celebrations of my event that I had to M.C. By the end of the night, all I knew was that the dog was rushed to emergency and suffered a perforated bowel and bleeding in the lungs and was going into surgery.

We were looking down the barrel of that little dog dying, that poor woman losing her pet, tens of thousands of dollars in vet bills, and Gordy possibly being taken away by animal control and being euthanized.

It was a horrible feeling. Like I failed everyone--my SO for bringing home a dangerous dog, Gordy for not getting him proper professional training, and that poor poor woman....I can only imagine how fkn terrified and traumatized she must be.

That woman and her dog were my first point of concern above all else. And thankfully we heard back from the owner's partner that the dog came out of surgery and was on the mend.

The expense was the least of my worries. If I had to take out a payment plan, I would of course cover all the costs to help them. It's just money. It's not as important to me as making sure they were okay.

Goddammit, I'm just trying to get through this life without hurting anyone and I know it's not my fault, but I am still responsible for this tremendous hurt and fuck am I carrying it.

But then there's Gordy. He's in 10 days of house-bound quarantine, standard, as a precaution to watch for rabies. He's vaccinated, and so is the other dog. No worries there.

But I won't lie. Gordy's 55 pounds of very fast dog. And his fear is very deeply seeded. I've no doubt he was absolutely horrifying. I was sure he was going to get the death sentence, or at best, be deemed a "dangerous animal" which would require us to post signs and get a special collar and a higher insurance liability.... and if that was the case, I didn't know if we'd be the right owners for him. I spent a few days with a pit in my stomach, getting ready to say goodbye to him.

But today we got a couple more lucky breaks. First we found out that our insurance will fully cover the vet bills. All the way.

Secondly, Gordy was ruled "potentially dangerous" which is the lowest possible rating, and I'll admit that I had hoped for this but didn't believe it would happen. It means he has to be walked on a short leash with a muzzle. And we had to pay a small fine. That's it.

I thought I'd wringed out all my tears when the attack happened, but there must have been twice as many--and all at once--when we got this news.

Their dog will live. My dog will live. Insurance will do what we pay them for. I don't know what I've done to deserve such luck, but I promise not to squander it. I will be seeking out a behaviorist and Gordy will get the best training I can afford. I owe it to him and my SO and all the dogs in our neighborhood.

Through this week the SO and I had to remind ourselves that we're good people. And Gordy's a good dog--he's just broken and needs us to care for his dog-reactive anxieties better. This was nobody's fault, it's just a bad thing that happened.

But I never ever want anyone to hurt like that again on my watch. I just want this fluffy boy to have a good life with us and for that lady to have a good life with her little dog.

Please hug your pets for me. I love them so much. And you too. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. Like I said, you have no idea how healing they were.

^^adoption day^^

It's been a rough few days in my world. I'm not gonna go into detail and sue me for vagueposting, but Sunday was one of the hardest days of my life and I'm in a holding pattern to see if the powers that be decide to make matters worse or not.

This is all to say thank you to everyone here. Thank you for posting beautiful pictures of our boy and for letting me share in the joy of Deadpool and Wolverine with you and just posting stuff that makes me laugh or lets me know what you're thinking. It's like stopping in at a big party and just sitting on the couch while my favorite people wax poetic about cats and occasionally get really deep about politics and then really funny about politics and then stop everyone in their tracks by whipping out new Pedro footage and everyone going into instant bite mode.

Thanks for being my effortless haven y'all. I fkn love this fandom so much.

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

Anything is possible, but no fucking way probable when it comes to Global Warming.

There are those who say it is still possible to hold global warming to relatively safe levels if we act NOW, but doing so will require global cooperation, billions of dollars and big changes.

Now how many of us think that's gonna happen, I mean with all of what's going on now, especially with Russia and the Ukraine, not to mention all those arab nations ruled by their religion that won't even talk about changes that would mean they would have to change their livelihoods, and not to mention religious beliefs.

Sure anything is possible, but no fucking way probable!!

People don't realize it yet but global warming and its inevitable climate change will bring about global power outages that last for months and probably even years in some nations, and bring about the collapse of social media, which will bring about "another" dark age in humanity, a period of stalled advancements in science and culture for at least a couple of generations.

But those few who survive will come out of it with a new sense of humanity and empathy that will thrive without pressuring governments, or demanding religions causing endless wars over faith for a thousand years.

This is what I see anyway.

[x9937552]

A Year Ago Today

It has been exactly one year (and one day) since the incident at my job. I denied it for so long, thinking about how I could have died, or could have seen everyone around me die at work, could not affect me.

It has also been one year since I last saw who I thought was my soulmate. I saw so many signs. But I know now that a life partner is too good to be true. I no longer believe that I'm meant to be with anyone. It's clear that no one that I'm interested in sees anything worth exploring in me.

I have finally stopped watching astrology content. I respect other people's beliefs, but I realize that it's not real for me. All it does is keep me waiting for wishes like a dumb child.

I still cry. I don't think I'll truly get over being alone. But at least I know how to navigate it, because it's all I know.

We are transitioning in a new manager into our department, which means new rules, which means pushing out all the old people who refuse to comply. I acknowledge that everyone is simply doing their job. Despite having no managerial experience, I do know that every new manager tries to establish themselves with their own rules and changes (expecting them to respect the current circumstances is unrealistic) in order to gain respect, or simply make it seem that they're doing their job. Because honestly, managers don't do much grunt work. They arguably do less and earn more.

Today flashed me back to my previous job where I was scolded left and right for not performing up to par. Naturally, I have an excuse for everything, but I'm not lazy. I have worked so hard ever since I got hired. I don't claim to be the best worker, but I'm certainly not the worst. I don't call out excessively, and I don't have issues with my coworkers that inhibit my ability to work. But none of it matters because I'm not a people person. I don't like talking to people. I don't like engaging with customers in order to sell them something. I don't like talking to strangers in order to sell them something. It's disgusting.

So today I realized that I have to get out of here, whether or not I deserve better, because I don't want to repeat my past. I don't want to stay somewhere longer than I should have (and I already have, honestly). There goes another 401k to waste (I never signed up, and I never took advantage of the health coverage). But it doesn't matter anyway, because a couple thousand dollars don't matter when you're dead. I have life insurance. I'm not certain of the ins and outs (I highly doubt they cover suicide), but I'm going to make sure that I'm incinerated, so that my family won't scramble to gather pennies to bury me. It's expensive and it destroys the planet.

After a long period of heavy days, where I was actively thinking of ways to end my life, I felt clear-minded. I wasn't overtly suicidal ever since my period has ended, but I know that the feelings will return. Thoughts of suicide don't go away on their own. I know one day I'll get over my fear of the pain and the logistics of killing myself, and no one will stop me. I won't live to tell my story: about how I regret the act, and will prevent others from doing so. Life is too treacherous to do. I don't blame anyone, however promising or loved or cushioned, for choosing to die at their own hand.

I will make sure that my last days will be in comfort. I will choose where I actually enjoy earning money. And I will make sure that I find a fool-proof way to kill myself. Someday.

[cashhacks]

When Cash is Low, I Know Where to Go 

So, I've always lived paycheck to paycheck and was often broke right before payday. I tried all the "earn money online" sites I could find-good and bad. I needed to find ways to make a quick couple of dollars in between paychecks, or to afford things I need that my pocket change won't cover.

There are literally thousands of ways to earn extra cash online without investing time or money-and I've tried them all! The easiest ways to earn (surveys, microtasks, cash-back shopping rewards...) often paying mere cents for over an hour of 'work'. It can take a month or more to earn enough points for a $5 cash payment. 

I have found a few hidden gems that make it so quick and easy to earn a payout, that I use them on a weekly basis. Below are the only sites that I use on a regular basis because I earn weekly or bi-weekly payments from them. I'm not getting richer, but I don't feel like I'm missing out either.

So, if you need a few extra bucks quickly; I suggest starting here:

1) Amazon's  Mturk microtasking-I use the filter to see the highest paying tasks first, and I do any that I'm qualified for. There's usually a bunch that pay $2-$10. Every week, Mturk transfers any earnings to my debit card automatically.

2) Surveys will NEVER make you rich. The pay is low, many studies will disqualify you, and you can't withdraw your winnings until you reach a certain balance-usually $10 or $20. BUT-I found a few rare sites where the surveys are plentiful, and the cash-out limits are low enough that It will only take me a day or two to get at least a $5 payout. So, if I need a few extra bucks fast, like by tomorrow, I will spend an hour or two completing their studies. The best sites for this are: lifepoints, intellizoom panel and crowdtapp

3) If I need something I really can't afford, or I need a gift for someone special, I go to my Amazon Rebate sites, where I can purchase Amazon products at UP TO 100% OFF.  Yes, you heard that right! 100% rebate or coupon codes! You buy the product, the seller reimburses you up to 100%!

My favorites are CashBackBase, Vipon, and RebateKey.

[bellsblargbin]

You bet your sweet ass I would. That's guaranteed "my life isn't fucked" insurance that actually works, unlike all the taxes and insane private insurance here in America that does absolutely jack shit.

You ever talk to an unhoused person? I talk to the local unhoused wherever I live. You'd be surprised how easy it is to become homeless. Statistically in fact you probably are very likely to become homeless. One or two missed paychecks or a major medical issue. Or maybe you're like a couple of my friends who couldn't get jobs in their field because of ageism. They were an EMT and a social worker respectively. What about the one woman I know who was the loving housewife to an army veteran for 20 years until he died? The money they were getting from his pension disappearing and she was too chronically disabled to get a good job before she was on the street.

Plus I'm already paying that tax in the insane healthcare cost and driving A FUCKING CAR. The amount of money we collectively spend on healthcare and having a damn car, instead of a universal system and public transportation is MORE than the taxes would be. And we're all sick and can't get anywhere anyway. So we pay more for less.

By the way I also work in healthcare and every day I hope to God that I move somewhere else. Sure I won't get paid more but at least the taxes I will be putting in will actually take care of me, instead of spending thousands and thousands of dollars for my insurance to do jack nada. Meanwhile my healthcare providers are in a chokehold of what to do because the insurance won't pay for it. You wouldn't believe the ridiculous stuff I've seen, it's infuriating.

Anyway taxes aren't the devil for fucks sake get a grip. I would happily pay more taxes if it kept me from actually being homeless or being bankrupt when I'm sick for being able to get somewhere without owning a goddamn car. We basically pay that tax privately and don't get shit.

[prototool44]

Low-Volume Manufacturing: Overview as well as Advantages

With regards to item advancement, organizations, architects, and fashioners will generally think about large scale manufacturing and prototyping as the main viewpoints. Notwithstanding, on occasion, they can have the choice of low-volume fabricating for delivering a couple hundred or two or three thousand sections. In this article, we will realize about low-volume producing administration.

For this assembling, one of the main advances incorporates proficient prototyping. There are a few motivations behind why this strategy is liked in the present time and place. One explanation is that this technique permits the clients to deliver the very required number of parts, no matter what the last count.

On the off chance that you reach out to a decent producer, you can partake in a ton of advantages. They will direct you all through the step. All in all, you will find support from them from the outset until the end.

Aside from work in large scale manufacturing and prototyping, these makers have long periods of involvement with low-volume creation. Their frameworks perform quality assessment of the parts to ensure every one of the parts satisfy the quality guidelines. In this way, they give a ton of significance to quality.

If you have any desire to submit a request, you can reach out to their master group. They will consider your necessities and give you a for nothing quote. For your fulfillment, they can likewise offer models to confirm your expected plans.

Benefits of Low-Volume Assembling

Assuming you will recruit the administrations of a low-volume maker, we recommend that you think about the upsides of the help. This will assist you with finding out about how the interaction can assist you with addressing your necessities. Moving along, we should know a few incredible advantages of the cycle.

Admittance to Business sectors:

On the off chance that you start your business two or three hundred or thousand pieces of an item, you can get fast admittance to the business sectors without burning through a reasonable setup of cash. Additionally, it can assist you with entering the market before your rivals.

Diminished Expenses of Tooling:

Dissimilar to full-scale creation, this kind of innovation can assist you with reducing down on the tooling expense. There will be least request limit.

Lead Times:

low-volume creation permits you to decrease the lead times. Furthermore, this can assist you with saving a ton of significant investment, all things considered.

To cause parts for items that to have more limited life cycle, we propose that you try out to low-volume creation. The explanation is that it can help you answer rapidly and produce ideal parts without burning through a great deal of time.

Monetary Consumption:

With this creation strategy, you don't have to stress over a great deal of monetary use. You won't burn through every last dollar as there won't be a great deal of shocks during the cycle.

Fast Circle back:

one of the significant benefits of this method is that it includes low-volume fabricating with speedier completion times. Beside this, you can appreciate faster plan changes, lesser expenses and speedier conveyance.

For More Info:-

Low Volume Manufacturing Service USA

Low Volume Manufacturing Methods USA

Low Volume Machining Service USA

[bsotted]

the amount of therapy i need bro lmao