#there's no ''nice; i've Resolved Everything as though i have settled my emotional affairs'' like huh
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on the note of "save rarely + outliers like all my dreams are unfolding problems time dreams & bad times in a way, so like which ones are then Bad Dreams" just remembering like oh yeah just last night i had a plotline of exacerbating grievous injury where they were like & you might die & dream me was like yeah i'm not having fun but also well whaddaya gonna do, so waking me was like okay whatever....more discomfited by some other dream scenarios now & then. plus at least once in recent memory i did die in a dream & that was kinda like well okay. plus that my dream plotline had to be like well uhhh & we're back b/c i mean how are You ever gonna be anything but alive. afterlife is some more being alive in a way & if not then it's like well the [oh my god. the nothingness void oblivion] is for the still alive.mp3 experience, otherwise like well we've all been there before (not yet existing as the individual who you are rn) another tuesday am i right
#i could say a nightmare is like yeah i've had one i found stressful enough i woke myself up? gotta count lol. even more rare....#some concern the other night a dream scenario ft. underwater excursion like well hope one doesn't drown huh#another dream yet earlier like ah jeez still underwater? hope i don't die here but welp gotta keep swimming for it. thanks for the meaning#in the zany waking situations like of course coming to realize like ah nuts there's only things giving me life. as per my being alive#until i'm not but when will that be? until then everything will be about doing alive stuff as an alive person so like#there's no ''nice; i've Resolved Everything as though i have settled my emotional affairs'' like huh#i've just kept doing things i respond to & value but there's no Getting Enough Of That. just being like wheeee w/that aliveness of mine#won't be any I've Gotten Enough Of my living vivacity things....simultaneous pro & con of that lol. but whaddaya gonna do?#last on land; no one else would understand....chéni (miedo) tienes que ser fuerte pues es el precio que se tiene que pagar....
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