#there's also the fact that it's possible to understand someone's motives without agreeing w their actions

[rozaceous]

OMG!!!!!

i just finished reading tcba and!!!! It’s so good. Absolutely amazing.

I keep imagining kakashi, once he gets over his shock, actually being really fucking proud of her for for exposing root and making all the agents confess to Tsunade. For getting rid of a system that hurt Yamato and Obito’s family when he couldn’t. For staying loyal to her team above all else and prioritizing them.

Maybe you could add an extra kick to her being right in Kakashi’s eyes by going with the whole “Danzo tried to kill off Sakumo on the mission because he started getting too respected/ close to discovering the truth of root.”

thank you so much! i'm so glad you've liked it <3

the thing w kakashi is, hmm, a little more knife-y. the hard part abt everything w danzo/the dark side of konoha is--kakashi already knows. kakashi already knows abt ROOT, he already knows abt orochimaru's experiments that the sandaime didnt chase him for/covered up, and even if the truth of the uchiha massacre was a shock to him, he definitely MUST have sussed that something was Not Right there.

kakashi isn't uncritical of the shinobi system, either! he gets very rules-focused after everything w his dad, but after obito dies? he's all teammates all the way. the entire reason that he and zabuza get along is bc they both know what it means to be used as a tool by your village. i'd say he definitely values people over the system.

however, kakashi never acts against konoha or the shinobi system in a way that meaningfully condemns them.

he critiques the system, but he never tries to actually leave it. his reasons for that are hard to parse bc we also have to contend w the fact that throughout shippuden, kishimoto has switched tracks to saying that konoha is a force for moral good. what this means is that kakashi says all the right things about not abandoning your team, and he obviously doesn't have a high opinion of the elder council or danzo specifically. but what does he do about it?

kakashi, i think, actually believes in the will of fire. he's put his bets on that horse, as it were. i'm not sure kakashi is able to separate the will of fire from konoha as an institution.

it's easy to want kakashi to support mariko and her actions bc we the audience support her! the fic is set up so that we agree we the morality she espouses! but uh, she just committed political assassination and other acts of terrorism. it's a bit yikes.

we're going to see more of how this plays out in the next chapter or two, but kakashi is definitely feeling the squeeze. after all, his direct apprentice, inheritor of his techniques and ideals--there is a whole lot more social weight to him being shishou to mariko than just training her--has just used what he taught her, and the beliefs he holds as a central, guiding truth, to commit acts that are directly in opposition to the institution that he very loyally serves.

this is not a problem with a straightforward solution.

[vespertin-y]

liveblog-o-clock! this time the first part of ch4′s daily life...mostly i just get real sad about gonta and rapidly whiplash between wanting to fistfight maki in a waffle house and wanting to wrap her in a blanket.

-[in a situation like this...i don’t see how we all could possibly stay enthusiastic. ...well, with two exceptions.] “what’s wrong, bro!? you’re not gonna eat!?” “if you don’t eat, then gonta will eat you instead, shuichi!” HPDJSDHSDGHSDHF. why would you pay attention to kaito and kokichi’s tragic parallels when you could pay attention to their funny ones truly.

-himikoooo :’) she’s clearly doing a bit of fake-it-til-you-make-it here, but her determination to be better is really endearing and genuinely inspiring. also the way she gets way too enthusiastic way too fast and almost keels over is hilarious.

-”there’s nothing more depressing than an unnoticed prank.” EATING THIS...do u think he realizes how much this sentence reveals about him.

-”it’s like a titty no one wants to fondle!” characterization moment over miu time now (it’s ok though i laughed)

-”no! you don’t get to tell gonta what to do anymore!” “y-yeah...gonta learn lesson after insect meet and greet...” gonta LITERALLY AGREED to help kokichi w/ the motive video plan, adding the meet-n-greet was completely unnecessary and only fractured their partnership. it’s almost like kokichi’s paranoia is destroying his interpersonal relationships or something...

-”yoink! i’ll take that card key then!” we don’t talk about how funny this is often enough. like yes it’s about to lead to horrible horrible tragedy, but the fact that kokichi’s so done with this shit he fucking STEALS THE MOTIVE AND CLIMBS INTO THE VENTS WITH IT makes me cackle. goblin mode activated.

-”shuichi is so amazing. gonta wanna be useful to everyone too.” “don’t worry. when the time comes, we’ll use your body as a meat shield.” “okay! gonta hope time come soon!” WERE IT NOT FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND (me being a 100 pound asthmatic and harukawa maki being fictional) I WOULD HAVE SLAUGHTERED YOU!!!! no one even REACTS to her saying this im so fucking madddd. when kokichi spouts lines literally indistinguishable from this the other characters *rightfully* understand him as a massive asshole and ostracize him from the group!! but GOD FORBID kodaka’s most favoritest waifu be treated as a complex and morally gray person instead of a prop in thigh highs who can’t be held responsible for anything she says!! i need to go pet my dog.

-ok i petted murry’s lil face i can be normal about fake people now. anyway NEW AREAS!! kiibo not liking his lab is obviously more of a gag than ryoma and shuichi not liking theirs but it still makes me sad. give my boy his wind chimes :[

-the cathedral floor is gorgeous, but it feels almost mocking now that angie can’t see it...

-”to become a completely different person and feel like you’re part of a different world...doesn’t that sound interesting? don’t you want to live in a fictional world?” NO!!! BAD TSUMUGI!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW-

-”yeah, before i got sponsors for my cosplaying, i worked a bunch of jobs. i used to say to my customers...”i’m in a bit of financial trouble...if only someone could help me out...”” HPDHBSGDHS. i love these little bits we get of tsumugi having a mischievous side, like here and the FTE where she says she can walk into trains and movie theatres without paying for a ticket. i wish it came up more often, both in canon and fic.

-turns out the very concrete memory i had of what shuichi’s lab looked like was...completely wrong. huh.

-”but this place doesn’t match you at all. i think this lab is too good for someone like you.” “ahaha, you might be right...first i need a cloak and a deerstalker.” “what...? the clothes wouldn’t even look good on you. it won’t suit you at all, so don’t even try it.” goes to pet my dog again

-tsumugi’s lab having a drink mixing station and shuichi’s lab having a cabinet of poison is such a good red herring lol, i was SWEATING waiting for someone to keel over my whole first time through this chapter.

-”huh? didn’t i tell you before? i believe in people i wanna believe in. and if they betray me, it just means i made a bad call believing in them.” DEAR GOD NOT THIS AGAIN...not everything is ur responsibility spaceman!!

-”heh...hehehehe...mankind deserves damnation...fuck that! we’re already damned here! being stuck here with you losers is the worst hell there is!” “the “you losers” part...wasn’t necessary.” “sh-shut up! i’m tired of this! let us outta here! let us out! c’mon, don’t leave us in here! pull us out!” “miu, calm down! it’s okay! gonta will protect you!” cool coolcoolcoolcool im not obliterated by that at all ○|￣|_

-kokichi claims he hasn’t found what the card key opens in a way that makes it sound like an obvious lie, but since gonta only says he took the boulder off the manhole much later in the conversation, it seems he’s telling the truth. i doubt if he’d asked gonta to move it so he could go in gonta would’ve/could’ve kept it a secret, plus kokichi’s not acting Completely Fucked quite yet.

-FTE time! they picked another of kokichi’s first. the pre-FTE dialogue being kokichi dragging shuichi around the entire dome looking for places the card key could go is cute, the actual FTE just being them having a tea party moreso. also: “my organization requires everyone to have an afternoon tea break. it increases productivity.” “ah. that sounds like a rather...peaceful organization.” “yup. the supreme leader, *ahem* me, is a pacifist. that’s why i settle fights with games.” i wanna see the DICE tea parties....do you think there’s actual tea or do they just put cheap soda in fancy (stolen) teacups.

-they only got time for one FTE...? weird. not as weird as the monokubs were being in the nighttime announcement though :[

-”um, angie’s gone, and student council not around anymore...but gonta still think it best to not go out at nighttime. cuz ryoma got killed at nighttime. and angie, too.” “that’s true...but the promise i made to kaito is really important to me. i can’t break it. i promise, i’ll go right back afterwards. and i’ll make sure we stick together.” “...gonta careless just now. gonta not know you make such important promise to kaito. gonta...so useless.” “no, no! not at all, gonta. don’t worry about it. we all know how much you care about us.” “...” “gonta?” “shuichi, gonta come to decision!” “huh? what have you decided...?” “hmm, actually...gonta will tell everyone tomorrow, when everyone together.” SAIGOKU ARMY HOW U FEELING? BAD???????? the closest thing we have to a true saiou confession scene is kokichi trying to convince shuichi to do murder-suicide with him and somehow not even that shattered my heart like this. how do y’all COPE.

-”by the way...this seems like a good time to ask, but...did you...like kaede?” “huh?” “well...i assumed you didn’t, because that would be weird.” “what do you mean, “weird”?” “liking someone you just met...especially in a situation like this...” (appropriately sepia-toned flashback to the hand holding scene.) “then tell me...under what circumstances is liking someone *not* weird?” “...huh? i...don’t know. i don’t...really understand what that is...nevermind. just forget i ever asked.” “forget you asked? why did you bring this up, maki?” “...no reason. i was only curious.“ “no reason? maki, you’re being...cruel. you ask me a personal question, then act like you don’t care-” “hey! were you guys making out while i was gone!?” WHPDJFHBDSF THANKS, KAITO. in all seriousness though i really do love this scene. shuichi’s right, maki *is* cruel here - but not on purpose. she’s poorly socialized and miserable and blunt and doesn’t understand what she’s feeling - of course she’d accidentally hurt her friends’ feelings sometimes. and it DOES clearly hurt shuichi’s feelings!! he doesn’t move on seemingly without even registering what she said (like the awful gonta shit earlier) or try to make an awkward joke (like in the lab). he just tells her flat-out ‘hey that was mean and made me feel bad’, and i think they were really going somewhere communication-wise before they got cut off!! (no real complaints though it was hilarious). i have (1) fic currently up on my ao3 rn and it’s a maki+shuichi fic i primarily based off this scene. the only maki characterization that matters 2 me <3

-that’s the end of day fourteen! we’ve just now reached TWO WEEKS what the hell. i have so much respect for people who actually try and follow the canon timeline in their fics, i could never. see you next time! love you!

[ootahime]

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga >:) pt. 3

more and more paragraphs ahead.  BE PREPARED!

i’m also writing this at 3 am so please bear with the horrendous grammar and punctuation.

chapter 63

i know he’s probably like this with everyone but i love how excited he is bragging about his students to her.  he’s like a child telling his mother about an amazing adventure he had with his friends, making sure he mentions every detail.  in the anime, their conversation lasted for 3:41 :3 backwards 341 is 143 which means i love you.  

1 letter = i

4 letters = love

3 letters = you

chapter 63

i love her fit!  i also like how both of them like to wear baggy clothing that accentuates their collarbones `w` it’s like they’re matching in a way.  even if she did tell him to cut the crap, she still let him run his mouth to his content LOL i feel like if he didn’t compliment himself at the end, she would have said something different.  UGH HE LOOKS SO HAPPY CALLING HER

 ah, let me translate the conversation just in case anyone needs it.

utahime: you wanted to talk about the investigation, right?

gojo: well, got any idea who?

utahime: i have no idea.  no one seems suspicious.  what do we do now?  should we ask the students for help?

gojo: yeah, that’s fine.  i’m busy so asking the kids would be okay.  keep looking.  i’m counting on you.

I THINK THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SAY.

OR it could mean that she’s asking if they should start investigating the students.  it would make sense either way because gojo says in the next panel that he doesn’t want to assume that the mole is a student, and in chapter 79, gojo sends the trio to utahime to help her.  

chapter 63

these two love their students to death.  neither of them wanted to assume that the mole was a student.  in chapter 79, when utahime is talking to the trio about the mole, nobara points out to the group that the traitor must be from kyoto because utahime is the one who’s reaching out to the tokyo side.  utahime has a dismal look on her face, almost like she’s saying, “i didn’t want it to turn out this way -- for this to be true.”  after mechamaru says his farewells to miwa on the train, mai tries to talk about what he did to which utahime says, “it doesn’t matter, he’s dead, after all,” with a similar sunken expression.  i just love how her care for the students is one of the biggest aspects of her personality that’s been showcased so far.  it’s also cool how it ties together with gojo’s belief that no child’s youth should be taken away.  i truly think these two have the capacity to understand each other to a deep level, down to the core.  seeing as utahime is also a teacher, it’s safe to assume that she also wants to raise the next generation of sorcerers to be strong.  utahime and gojo’s similarities and contrasting elements are so interwined, i really wonder if it’s intentional.  like am i looking too much into this?  are utahime and gojo really meant to be this connected?  think about it.  similar motivations, care of the kids, contrasting palettes, the bickering, long history.  IT’S JUST TOO MUCH. 

also can we mention how their phone calls and meetings must be heavily planned out?  this means they’ve talked and interacted with each other A LOT behind the scenes.  she doesn’t answer his call with “what do you want?  don’t bother me on my day off.”  she knows exactly why he’s calling her and they even speak in code.  she probably meets up with him and tells him to call her on a specific day and at a specific time.  they must know each other’s schedules very well in order to execute this investigation in complete secrecy.  when he says, “we can never be too sure who is listening in around utahime” it implies that they find calling a risk, so in order to guarantee that there is no one around, they have to meet up in person.  see where i’m getting at?  they talk A LOTTT and most likely are aware of each other’s daily lives.  

the fact that gojo is her main source of stress when he’s literally a 3 hour train ride away from her is hilarious LMAOOOO.  you know what that means, right?  he must call and text her constantly about random things to annoy her.  

chapter 65

ah yes, my favorite moment by far.  look at that smile on his face.  

chapter 65

he loves saying her name.  he probably rushed over with the sole purpose of doing something like this to her LMAOOOO like i mean, mei was in there with her so technically they both needed to be helped but judging from his words and expression, he only wanted to help utahime.  notice how mei’s not there in the debris.  could she possibly have suspected gojo’s presence or an outside force?  or was she fast enough to avoid being in the debris?  either way, her lack of presence in this scene helps highlight the fact that this is a special interaction between utahime and gojo.  he refers to her in a very familiar sense.  the most formal way to address someone is by their last name followed by the honorific, -san.  in gojo’s case, he should be calling her iori-san if they weren’t acquainted.  he doesn’t even bother to call her utahime-senpai.  granted, gojo is not the most respectful and socially competent person out there because geto points this out to him.  he isn’t even aware that she finds him annoying because he views her bad attitude toward him as her just playing along with him.  he probably thinks she’s flirting back LOLOL

since he asks her “you cryin?” that definitely means that gojo witnessed her crying on one occasion or maybe multiple.  who knows, the old utahime could have been a very emotional person.  while this is happening, mei is close to gojo, she then asks him if he would console her if she were to cry in a flirtatious manner.  gojo dismisses her attempt at flirting with him and says she won’t cry because she’s strong.  now normally, you’re supposed to face the person you’re talking to, GOJO.  he KEEPS his eyes on her even when more people come to join the conversation.  

now, we can all agree that geto, mei, and shoko are better at picking up social cues than gojo.  they probably knew the vibe of the conversation and decided to play along with gojo’s antics.  

chapter 65

WE were worried about you.

pay attention to the order of the characters that show up.  gojo makes his appearance first, then geto, followed by shoko.  based on utahime’s reaction to seeing shoko, it’s evident that these two share a close bond.  shouldn’t shoko be the one to arrive on the scene first?  she’s the closest to utahime and would therefore be more concerned about her condition, right?  i know shoko’s technique doesn’t really allow her to do anything other than treat the wounds of others, but if you heard your friend was missing, you would definitely rush to the scene.  

look at geto’s reaction when mei says, “you’re the one who’s picking on her, geto.  you don’t even know it.”  i think it’s mei who’s saying this because gojo calls geto “suguru”.  but anyway, mei is aware that they’re picking on her.  i don’t think she’s the type to legitimately bully someone for their strength.  her reaction to all of this is very playful and her “heh heh heh” is proof of that.  when geto shows up and swallows the curse before it gets to utahime, he says, “satoru.  it’s not nice to pick on the weak.”  by saying this, he pisses utahime off because he too, is joining in on gojo’s joke.  i believe he’s unaware that he’s making fun of utahime because his reaction is “gah!” with a sweatdrop.  he probably thought gojo was making fun of weak people in general.  

geto’s usually a gentleman seeing as it is canon that he is more popular with girls than gojo.  BUT WHO KNOWS...you gotta be a specific type of person to be best friends with gojo.  maybe he ain’t shit too...  okay, my point is that everyone is just playing along.  when shoko shows up, utahime is relieved to see her because shoko doesn’t tease her like this.  since utahime tells shoko to not become like those two, this implies that geto teases her as well (probably not as much as gojo).  we all know geto is really big on looking out for the weak so he probably wouldn’t have insulted her for real.  

verdict: utahime being weak is just a joke.  i’ve mentioned this so many times, sorry if it’s getting annoying and repetitive hehehehehe...

chapter 65

these three aren’t irresponsible.  geto and gojo are a troublesome duo for sure, but they’re dependable.  seems unlike them to forget something so simple and essential to pretty much every mission.   

chapter 65

here’s my headcanon.  they were hanging outside or in the car when their assistant manager got a call.  the assistant was informed that two days have elapsed since mei and utahime went on their mission (or last contacted someone).  

gojo: that’s weird.  mei’s with her so they should have finished exorcising the spirit sooner.

geto: you think something happened to them?  maybe it’s a strong special grade.

gojo: utahime probably dragged mei down with her.  poor mei-san~  

gojo gets up 

geto: where are you going?  

gojo: going to save utahime!  it’s fine i’ll put up a curtain!

manager: gojo wait!!!!!!!!!!!

geto sighs

shoko: that idiot’s always running off without us.

they pin the blame on gojo for saying that he’ll put up a curtain and leaving the assistant manager behind.  you know what this means?  he ran and the manager couldn’t catch up HEHE... why the rush, gojo?  were you actually concerned about her?  

tbh i don’t see gojo ever running to something unless it’s urgent.  the fact that he ran to save her says a lot.  

----

let me know if you have any thoughts or questions!  i forgot to add this but gojo had a more serious expression when he was explaining how they must’ve been trapped in a barrier that messes with time.  he then states, “we thought it was weird even though you’re here, mei.”  i know he was probably worried sick because if mei couldn’t be contacted then that means something must’ve happened to utahime too.  okay that’s it for now.  i’ll be bringing up this little detail i’ve noticed about utahime in the manga next :3

[sugar-petals]

Group Sex With SuperM

SUMMARY: creating a group chat is all it takes.

↳ A/N. yep, we’re going there. 

words. 14k

WARNINGS ⚠️ friends to lovers hc, porn with plot, idol au, sex w/ all members individually and together, dom/sub dynamics, corruption kink, sexting, blowjobs & cunnilingus, gaping, graphic, pegging, bondage, light foot fetish, sex toys, spitroasting (m receiving), brat taming, dick riding, protected sex, doggystyle, cuddling aftercare

curious about an eightsome are we

understood

how’s the state of things then?

last september you decided to open an entire group chat just for planning your juicy sexual activities together

and oh lord is it active

and full of ideas

and explicit videos

and emojis

and excitement

yesterday taemin sent a clip of lusciously covering himself in champagne foam for you

wearing close to nothing

in fact just a piece of gauze, a snake-shaped necklace, and probably a bit of perfume

oh boy

watching that was an out-of-body experience for sure

the entire chat basically imploded with reactions

but hey hey

not so fast

we need to go through everything from the start

to see how all these utterly historic events happened to unfold

so where did all that come from?

first off 

befriending super m outside work (eating together, fooling around, bingwatching stuff, you know)

...means there’s no point nor chance in having a permanent favorite with a group like this

every member truly is the creme de la creme

super m is the package of the entire packages

they are so legendary you can bias each member for one day of the week 

and never run out of that pure bliss

in fact 

you all agreed to do exactly that on a regular basis to get to know each other casually

it just naturally happened

seven days seven members that’s just logical

you can’t always hang out together in full attendance so you split up your times and set specific days

you change that routine very often depending on your individual moods

but it usually goes like this because you want to develop closer bonds with them one-on-one

so this is how it ends up

mondays you work out with xuxi. oh, that sexy smiley man. his body is the ultimate bomb. is there something better than doing sit-ups next to him? anybody’s sports motivation would go through the roof. and if there’s someone you call to share a pile of food with? it’s just gotta be him. being with yukhei is self-care.

tuesdays, you visit ten to check out his latest dance moves. and: to have a huge cuddle session with the cats. sometimes, you watch whatever series you’re in the mood for. it’s always a time to slow down and mend your sore muscles from monday anyway. you think ten is so interesting and talented, and super pretty, truly one of a kind.

on wednesdays jongin and you often end up on long midnight walks with the dogs or you both look after his cute nieces. meeting up at the river han is a staple, you get ice cream and snacks. you adore kai because he’s a sweetheart and steadfast person, and admittedly... so damn hot, holy hell. being with him makes you feel great.

thursday is baekhyun day and full of cheeriness as you’d expect. long hours of gaming, cheeky skinship, banter, and pizza eating await you at his apartment. you adore this mochi for his everything, he makes you laugh uncontrollably so much. sometimes, you also comfort him when he doesn’t feel good about himself or exhausted from practice. he will sing anything you want, baekhyun is like your personal 24/7 radio station.

fridays it’s time for the studio. mark is crafting his most fire bars and loves to have you around there. you inspire him a lot. he’s just completely astounding and the sweetest to you. friday most people would go clubbing, but super m just has to meet up in the studio. no paparazzi, and the music is obviously danceable. i’m telling you: this mob can jop, duh.

saturday is for handsome taeyong who loves coming to your home. cooking, organizing, doing the laundry, and browsing youtube together is the best thing. taeyong is the shyest goodest boy and a great listener. he gives great advice and is the epitome of respectful. you just vibe very well together.

sunday you dedicate to taemin. you watch artsy films, experiment with outfits, and he plays the piano for you so expertly. man, you are lucky. he’s like a fairy to you, and a connoisseur, a mythical figure almost. since he’s a newly-found cat dad, you easily fill your day playing with the most interesting kitten that is lee kkoong. sometimes, you even meet shinee members dropping by.

so yes this is what paradise looks like

and they all love to engage with you in their own way and you develop favorite ways to spend time, they put so much effort into this

it goes without saying that you all realize how hard you’re crushing as the weeks pass

like can you imagine

all the hormones i swear

you’ve already been joking to them that you have seven boyfriends some months ago

well the prophecy is fulfilled faster than you can blink

when you meet up as eight for a movie night at baekhyun’s, the atmosphere feels pretty frisky

because lucas is sending you ten thousand glances and certainly nobody misses that

if this guy is laughing at your every word i mean

meanwhile taeyong is having a nervous meltdown at your every comment about the movie, it’s ridiculous, he’s smitten as fuck, he looks at you like you’re an actual goddess

mark keeps on making glimmering eyes at you as well, and he asks you if you want popcorn every two minutes

baekhyun is all curled up close to your lap and not even watching the movie because his face is almost nuzzled into your sweater for fuck’s sake

taemin has spent the entire preperation in complete frenzy making sure there are scented candles everywhere and the snacks are exquisite and costly. mother taemresa? at full throttle. he even used his own damn credit card.

meanwhile kai suffers from his fidgety legs, constant hair fixing and even more inability to concentrate on the movie 

because damn, he knows he wants your attention. he literally came around with the tightest shirt he owns so there’s that. you can see every little muscle doing its thing when he does as much as breathe. kai is now well aware he came to impress. it won’t take him a lot to realize he wants to be even closer to you than doing midnight walks.

ten is so firmly snuggled up next to you, he might as well be your cat himself. if ten starts acting like a clingy feline instead of being in roast mode, you know he’s lovestruck i’m telling ya

needless to say

the mood in the room is hard to ignore

hell there are romance candles everywhere all those hecking rose fumes are to blame

surprise surprise all the members try to sit as close as possibly to you the more the movie progresses

even abandoning the couch and seats to sit on the ground in front of you instead

“you want popcorn?”

“like some more popcorn?”

“here, have my popcorn!“

“more popcorn?”

“hey do you want popcorn?”

from all sides, constantly

the m in super m stands for making sure you have popcorn

you never run out

like when the leading lady is pulling out a cigarette in those old hollywood flicks and at least twenty guys are scurrying to offer a lighter

i’m exaggerating but

nobody even knows what kind of movie they’re watching tonight though

the elephant in the room is trumpeting too loud to understand the dialogue

you’re surrounded by seven big ole hotties who have fallen for you

it was inevitable

it’s more than clear to everyone that they all like you and you couldn’t be any more fluttered yourself

let the hunger games begin

i’m jopping i mean i’m joking

this is not the wwe

it’s pretty clear to the boys that if they fight you’re gonna be so unhappy and your quality time together is ruined

you adore them all, and they’d be regretful about hurting their own bonds 

and anyway

if it came down to it and the bad blood was really escalating um...

...ten would destroy all of the competition

there’s no denying

by the simple virtue of his badassery and winning disease

quickly reducing all his opponents to a pile of dust so fine-grained, the great freddie mercury himself would resurrect to sing the soundtrack in the background and pump his fist

imagine that. superm actually being gladiators i mean wasn’t that the entire jopping mv

baekhyun would try to pull the leader authority card and use his hapkido martial arts skill but ten would obliterate him anyway so

even if taemin put on a dark robe and drew a salt circle to summon a million snakes from hell, ten would win the fight to a fault

but that’s too apocalyptic and outside of that thought experiment the boys are actually kinda shy so... let’s scratch that

there are seven days of the week with good reason 

you ease the uncertainty and tension by saying you’d truly fail as a tv bachelorette

everyone understands that deciding would be impossible and cheating is shit

why give someone a rose and break 6 hearts when you can hand out a whole damn bouquet

it’s more stylish my friend

and for what reason would ten want to face off against taemin and his army of snakes in the first place. they’re ten’s greatest inspiration

nor does kai have any tighter shirts 

he already ran out, he brought his A game from the get-go

on top of that the popcorn is empty there’s no more to offer

so you remain with the idea to just keep your daily routine

xuxi monday, ten tuesday and so on

keeps everything in order

it’s fair

plus it doesn’t mess with their schedules

usually unless a big award show is coming up but that can be re-planned in advance as well

you know... things can develop in their own timing with each member

it’d be awkward to expect everyone to be on the same stage at once

baekhyun is comfortable with all kinds of back hugs while taeyong and taemin are still completely flustered and turn all wobbly at just a greeting wave

you know what i mean

it’s already clear everyone loves you very differently 

some members are more straightforward, others take it slow, it’s just a normal thing

that’s when the group chat is born

it’s still very sfw 

compared to how explicit it’ll be in the future ahem

and everyone is overcautious with writing something except baekhyun, the eternal extrovert

for now you keep each other updated on how it’s all going with trivial details

earlier you just had individual chats and baekhyun arranged the group meetings since he knows the schedule best

now it’s all in one spot so that works

everyone’s curiosity is quenched at least a little bit

and they see each other anyway and put their heads together

baekhyun will be the most open about how far your skinship slowly develops followed by lucas and kai who oggle each other in their usual tom and jerry manner

which you have an eye on

you tell the members something very important for when they’re envious

or feel the need to one-up or catch up

it’s the sign to get closer to you and that they’re ready for taking another step. that’s literally what jealousy is all about

that advice helps them out a lot actually

kai takes that to heart in particular because he knows he’s prone and feels bad about it

and they also learn from ten who carries a quiet happiness with confidence that doesn’t need comparison, but he can also talk very honestly about how he’s standing with you to the point

ten knows how it’s done

as expected of such a competent man

like he’s kissed your hands very lightly but he doesn’t feel the need to show it off all day

and he also leads by example together with taemin and taeyong how one can give compliments even when not being involved in something 

“you’re looking adorable together“ as taemin would often say about you hanging out with kai or baekhyun

a lot of praise culture is developing in the group chat

you like to see it 

and now for the other elephant in the room

as for who will ask you to sleep with him first

(and mind you at this point they’re all walking around with condoms in their backpacks and jackets)

believe it or not

after the finishing touches on his latest mixtape (oh yes), and those tracks have you feeling some kind of way oh shit, mark gathers all his courage

yes it’s mark lee 

literally he steps into the blaze of bravery of jongin when he first put on a crop top

and gets out a little “can we... some time... you know...” after you’re having some pretzel sticks together and awkwardly sitting around

oh what's gonna happen next huh?

you say you’ve been thinking about it a lot

that he has a great body doesn’t go unseen

and tell him how you imagine it with him

long story short you’ll have your first quickie in the sound booth that night

cutting straight to the chase

him steadily penetrating you from behind, you leaning closely with your back to his chest

just standing and enjoying the rhythm

that dick. is amazing.

oh god, mark lee

long, curved, smooth, a classic

meanwhile your fave rapper is definitely going through it

his arms tell you everything

that’s an embrace for the books

he’s hugging you like his life depends on it

you can just take in how he’s been showering twice today this guy is clean as fuck he smells so good

getting off from shampoo and fabric softener is not what you expected but it definitely makes you clench

you both know he’s not gonna last for more than six minutes and that’s ok

that’s a lot of long-held frustration released into that condom

and a lot of passion put into how he puts his guitar fingers to work on your clit afterwards

jimi ‘lee’ hendrix has arrived

oh yeah mark, you fucking treat, fuck it up

that way you won’t last long either since you guide his finger tips to your favorite spot and the motherfucker completely goes for it

“like this, like, um?”

and he goes off with the wrist

oh shit

it’s all kept so short and simple and you’re on the oldest mustard-colored studio couch that ever existed but mark lee is mark fucking lee nothing can obstruct his quality

like this guy has some serious skills with the angles

that orgasm is gonna get some moans you didn’t know you were capable of out of you

never wasting time, that guy is he

mark definitely fucks like he raps. fast and good

you cool down together looking each other in the eyes, forehead to forehead, for like fifteen minutes, and you give each other little chaste kisses all over your faces and he melts every time

your little rendezvous was definitely so needed 

you ask if you can bring some vibes to play around with and a watermelon next time

you don’t have to ask twice

mark is so damn happy

and the timing was right

straightforward and spontaneous. that definitely works well with mark

no complaints, you go home feeling comfortably refreshed. you’ve told him he could tell the others or wait to do it, this is up to his comfort because he is shy

neither happens

after just one glance at him the next day while the group is doing a photoshoot

baekhyun already knows mark slept with you 

he just knows

and makes a loud “ohh wow, you did it” noise

ten takes two only glances to understand what’s going on too

mark nods and the whole group is highstrung for the entire day

like a hive of bees oh yes

kai is massively proud of raising mark so well but also really surprised

unlike taemin who calmly advised mark on many things in advance

guess where mark’s fingering skills originate from

he took some secret pointers from the king 

taeyong is shook at his rap buddy’s singleminded grit to just spontaneously ask you

while baekhyun...

is keeping it together repeating the anti-jealousy mantra you gave him in his mind

“jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer jealousy means to get closer....“

it makes him realize oh god he really wants to be inside of you badly as well

you ain’t dumb, you see his change of tone from cute to sexy in the group chat even if he might not notice

baekhyun is trying extra hard to make you react to him

he posts so many cute selfies with kissy faces

needless to say taeyong’s time slot gets postponed to next thursday while you visit baekhyun this evening

it works for taeyong because he still needs to think some things through

the news overwhelmed him a little and he is shy about meeting up but that’s not a problem for you

and it’s better to get together with your mochi sooner because you both know there’s a lot of banging to do

like seriously

your mood tells you that candy’s on the menu today

oh yeah. it’s time to be all over your clingy lil’ honey bunny 

there’s not much endless wooing involved it goes to the point very fast after you arrive at his home

you just wanna stop pretending and fuck like animals and see his brain melt from it

remember how baekhyun once said he doesn’t fancy nice girls

that’s what he meant by that

mattress earthquake

he wants you fully riled up with arousal and addicted to touching and grabbing him

yeah baekhyun gets off on your desire

that’s not hard to accomplish when he makes big puppy eyes and puts his tongue on your neck

with that gomez addams shit... kissing up your arm and then popping off as soon as he gets there

congrats morticia

here is a man who can handle ya

he’s being so slobbery and moany about it that it knocks the breath out of you 

that shit is so good

baekhyun is not just a pro at giving head my friend it’s also giving neck

and unlike mark, may god have mercy on you, baekhyun keeps on going and going and kissing and kissing and he wants to lick up all of you so bad 

we know how needy and stamina-heavy this fella is

baekhyun is super m’s most insatiable member by fucking far

he’s like just give it to me and you’re like ok here we go

this guy is burning up oh god

that’s an evening of ten thousand positions, fearless cumplay, and a lot of face-sitting

super m’s most unleashed tongue right here

thank god you worked on your fitness with xuxi otherwise you couldn’t do this

he’s moaning in some harmonic scales or something it’s a whole concert

baekhyun is fully at it with you in every room of his flat with his whole neck and underarms looking mighty veiny

yeah he even carries you around to make it short and simple he’s one impatient bun

he can lift up sehun bridal style so no worries

mochi is smol and thin but he won’t drop you i promise

he’s fueled by horny boyfriend hormones and wants to give you the greatest night of all nights

and hit all the amazing spots

baekhyun aims to make your pussy lips throb and fall completely in love with him

and the bridge of his nose if you get what i’m saying

he’s also versatile in his clothing choices

if you say keep your nerdy glasses on, oh yeah they stay on

just a little challenge to see if you can ride him hard enough to see them fall off

and that dick is not some extra long lasso mark lee calibre

so he can really bend it more and thrust with ease at many angles

talking about mark

he regrets not asking you earlier but you tell baekhyun that this way was much better because you unceremoniously skipped to the fucking instead of messing around

if it wasn’t for mark’s courage to break the ice even with a choppy sentence 

you’d still be awkwardly looking each other in the eyes while munching pizza

all hail mark lee nervous legend

this way, baekhyun goes all out with fewer restraint and the burden of being first with making the impression that comes with it

we all know he’s too self-conscious for his own mochi good so that’s a better way to start out

this way baekhyun will have sex with you until he’s passed out on his bed

knocking him out like that might as well become your favorite hobby

even minutes after your tongue still feels like it’s knotted together with his honestly, the muscle memory is kicking in

and this must be the most dick thrusts you’ve ever gotten in one night

baekhyun really wants to be all inside you, make you feel him

if the condom broke at least his baby will be easy to identify from day one

it’ll come out and belt a perfect G#5

he gave it all my god you stopped counting the times you came your pussy is just dripping wet it feels crazy

and his voice has become all raspy i—

that was baekhyun’s hardest vocal run yet i swear

the contraception shelf in the convenience store next to his house is close to empty

but there’s no need to buy more

what you two perverts have been up to is enough for comfortably going through 10 years of celibacy

baekhyun is content and sleeps like a baby

you hold your bun for like two hours afterwards and never want to let him go

you are as wobbly as taeyong after getting a head pat from you

and the most well-kissed girl in this city tonight

both sets of lips

what a smoochy boyfriend

you even get the chance to jerk baekhyun off in his half-sleep after he wakes up and asks you to put your hand in his pants

guess who opens his mouth very wide to lick his own semen off your fingers with some really obscene noises

it’s his royal nastiness byun baekhyun 

who sucks your tiddies to drift back into sleep again

with his hands in your pants

god bless this man

the group chat is sending 👀 emojis all the way throughout the night

your boys know love is in the air

they’re loosening up the timing is right again

you send cute smiling emojis 

a bunch of “ahs” and “ohs” come through via voicemail

and lucas even writes: “so who’s next? 😳”

damn

you reply boldly: “the one asking that”

the group chat becomes a buzzing beehive again

from which you extract that kai is also very interested while ten, taeyong and taemin prefer waiting a little more

but this time you don’t switch time slots since you’ll meet xuxi on monday already 

kai wants to set up something nice and prepare the catering and whatnot (alright you rich man)

so it’s gonna be wednesday as usual with him

so far so good that’s the plan

sunday being taemin day, you get together to read and paint and listen to music

you feel like just doing some sensual kissing with him and taemin is very down

yeah baby he is the kissing king, taemin is hot stuff, he knows exactly what he’s doing, those lips are the pillows at the gates of heaven

losing your mind is a staple when you do that with him

just making out on the couch surrounded by the nicest arrangement of pot plants you’ve ever seen while it rains completely relaxes you and the serotonin is off the charts

he holds you so gently and tastes so good

what is it, rose water or something like that

he even put on his coziest sweater so you’ll love leaning against him

TL;DR taemin is the biggest fucking romantic in the history of SM

that was so seductive you’ll be dreaming about it

applause for lee taemin please

perfect contrasting programme: just hours later

yeah here it goes now

monday starts with xuxi stripping more than he usually does 

at the makeshift gym in his room while he’s on the treadmill

with his hair freshly dyed the most himbo shade of blonde ever

and yeah that’s blonde with an e because yukhei is too sexy to be called a blond. what an ugly word to look at

he’s a blondé

so that’s nice

he’s so dtf you just skip the workout 

time for lubed condoms.

i don’t have to tell you that you literally jump on him 

or that you’ll be dealing with super m’s singlemost biggest equipment

he doesn’t even have to drive it home an inch by himself you’re already riding him

he can’t handle all that gear in the first place

because how do you even develop a technique with such an unrealistic dick

hell how do you even exist like that

so it’s clear who’s taking the lead

all he has to do is work that body but it sort of happens on its own

himbo autopilot

you are going hard and chaotic on this man

xuxi doesn’t even know what hit him

he’s so vocal and excited 

you fuck him while he holds you up, get down on several gym benches, have him bend you forward at the bathroom sink... 

...and you attend business in ten’s room on a desk and window sill

because it’s the most silent there and doesn’t disturb xiaojun’s beauty sleep

ten has discreetly ushered you there and preoccupies himself in the kitchen with the cats

he knows how the game is played

either floor ‘em all or always watch out for others

MVP

but you are secretly wondering what ten is plotting because he has some serious self-control and observation skills

given how tidy his room is... whatever his plans are you can look forward to it

xuxi is definitely suffering from your heavy duty cock destruction in the meantime while being in heaven at the same time

that dick is worn out and dripping 

so much bouncing is even gonna make the biggest boy lose it

milking that orgasm out of him is gonna be so gratifying yum

the deep and defeated moans, my god he really surrenders to the pleasure

wow that was almost as to-the-point as studio sex with mark

no idle talk in nct huh

you clean each other all exhausted and then gobble up three bowls of noodles each

then sleep for two hours in each other’s arms

then do a second round because this guy is really getting you going and yukhei wants to live this monday to the fullest

like this man gives you previously unknown levels of energy

must be the blonde hair. it does sexy things when yukhei is twitching

this time it’s a dick blowing festival

oh yeah

the type where you’re so sloppy with your head bops, he doesn’t even know where to put his hands and needs to think emergency thoughts

oh yeah big dicks make for some nice slurpy noises that sound really plump you know what i mean

he’s gonna realize very soon you do this shit for your own entertainment

and get all kinds of squeaks and faces out of him

only little pauses help him keep up the stamina so he asks you to pull off for a bit every two minutes or so

he has to look elsewhere and distract his mind with thinking about washing the dishes

girl... your tongue has this man sweating major bullets

you’re big on the corruption kink are you

once again 

xuxi is gonna be so shaken and pass the fuck out from cumming

and he thought he was a horny guy

his soul must have left his body and that scalp is probably dead

but bleaching was worth it (he looks like a sleeping angel now)

not to mention banging all over the wayv dorm

ten got a preview of what’s expecting him

not that he doesn’t know he reads you well

lucas promises to return the oral favor next monday and finally collapses entirely in the living room wearing only boxers

nothing new for wayv, great sight for you

not a single workout routine has exhausted xuxi this much

he needs 10 hours of sleep to reboot

“she’s so wild 😲😂😍” is gonna be what he’ll summarize it as in the group chat later

first big boy taken down

the second one follows

wednesday is right around the corner 

oh yes

kai definitely goes off with the preparation you are not ready for this spectacle

he redecorated his entire kitchen and bathroom to perfection with flowers, lanterns, dim light, petals, expensive fabrics draped from the ceiling, and there’s a great view on night time seoul

you can tell he’s best friends with taemin

i mean they’re the greatest entertainers of their time of course their taste is great

always going the extra mile

the black, sheer shirt with a deep cleavage that kai put on is nothing short of a treat

is that a lace choker he’s wearing

and his hair is pushed back lord have mercy

you get pretty weak in the knees at that

the catering leaves nothing to be desired either. a full 3-course sicily-style italian meal with 100% organic ingredients and beautiful basil and thyme garnishings

to set the mood afterwards jongin does what he does best

don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming

just a chair for you, some music, and him

is this like a whole damn private concert?

he has prepared an entire setlist to thrill you with selected styles of dance

even a rendition of salsa, swing, and tango argentino

i’m telling you...

if kim jongin moves his body for you like that you’ll be fucking hooked and honored and not believe your eyes

what a feast

prepare for a serious case of dropped jaw

and jongin being an absolute daredevil dancing incrementally close to your chair

he incorporates all these little moments of skinship

where he strokes your hair, your jaw, or takes your hands

while at the same time he’s completely destroying it on the dancefloor

with those scorching hips and how he works it on the carpet right in front of you

you’re about to fucking melt

what a time to be alive

the sheer shirt’s buttons are holding onto dear life as do his pants

kai’s movements are becoming extremely ecstatic

what a fucking lapdance 2.0

men have clearly evolved otherwise this wouldn’t be happening

kai dances like a king on a stage but jongin? is god-like when he dances with just one person as the audience

shiit

and because he’s very nervous

he work particularly hard to ace it

in his mind he’s already underneath you judging by how he’s moving

...you can definitely fancy a luscious private concert each wednesday

and for designated activities in the bathroom

he even made a whole 5-hour playlist of the finest songs

so he can make you grind on top of him

don’t tell me kai isn’t the master of courting

king of effort

i don’t have to tell you that this is gonna be the most sensual night you’ve ever had

kai will get to know your body very, very well

those hips never stop do they

the fact that thursday is baekhyun day right after this?

wow aren’t you exhausted

the orgasms just seamlessly continue huh

everything goes on like that 

friday you have a toy-filled, passionate evening at the studio with mark who’s doing the most 

let’s say mark just has good ‘vibes’ indeed

this almost gets as messy as your first time with lucas

have fun cleaning up that couch, canada

what a sex marathon

if you don’t have your period

there’s always a lot of action going on 

or actually. you do catch a break for the weekend

saturday you bake delicious, pistacio and pecan-crusted sticky buns with taeyong 

who also shows you the new fledgelings that have hatched in his apartment

so adorable

sunday you endlessly make out with taemin in the sheets who has of course heard of jongin putting on a show

so he dances for you as well and even does the hands-tied criminal choreo in an especially luscious rendition (aka extra heavy breathing and grinding on the floor, and doing splits that almost rip his pants)

oh yes my love

nothing really happens afterwards you just have dinner completely flustered

if lee taemin dances, sex becomes redundant and doesn’t compare anymore

but really now

the slow burn is unbearable with him for fuck’s sake

taemin knows how to work up the seduction bit by bit

you basically masturbate all evening after returning to your house

god. what to do with this guy

on monday you ravage yukhei’s dick and get all that head 

xuxi is a chaotic fella but he keeps his promises

plus you get the best full-body massage of your life

and for the first time pull out your phone to basically livestream yourself riding him

so the whole chat can watch for five minutes

yep. you learned that courage thing from mark lee

the camera work is obviously subpar but the video definitely has maximum effect

kai and baekhyun stream their reaction right alongside your broadcast

“woah woah oh my god oh my god!!”

everyone’s freaking out, everyone stops whatever they’re doing, everyone is glued to their screens, they love your body moving

you’re having a blast 

especially when you stream another round an hour later and lucas holds the camera now

his arm is perfect for that by the way

strong and stable and high up in the air

so you can do your thing on that fat dick with a bonus of the sexiest xuxi moans ever

that deep but soft tone... yukhei really got a perfect groaning voice huh

after getting steamy for almost ten minutes, you get some great close-ups of your pussy after having yukhei pull out mid-romp

because that gape is for the gods

don’t kid yourself with a dick like that inside you’ll be opening a little wider

it looks and feels even better with lucas tracing his long fingers inside of it

with the closeup zooming in even more while he’s putting his thumb on your clit 

mmh that’s good stuff

six very shaky boys are sitting in front of their phones right now being able to look um very deeply inside of you

baekhyun is basically frozen to a statue on the reaction stream and salivates nonstop it’s just running down his neck at this point

his wettest dreams are right in front of him

stretched out pussy all juicy and swollen? baekhyun’s lifeblood. he’s seeing god 

he turns up the brightness of his phone to maximum so he can see every little detail 

remember. this guy loves to be inside of you so obsessively he wants to pay rent to live in there

so he’s appreciating an HD view of his favorite place, really deep and really pulsing and really soaked

yukhei has slathered you in lube and really pushed apart your muscles very gently, no abrasion, you relaxed so nicely around him

it’s feeling good as fuck

kai who’s watching right next to baekhyun just stares with big eyes

every injury he ever got while dancing is suddenly healed 

he’s a new man his spine has put itself together his legs are reborn

taeyong almost falls off his chair when he tunes in

he’s that bewildered

he just types a big WOW and a wall of blushing emojis

the explicit songs he’s been listening to and whatever he’s been rapping about recently are nothing in comparison to this

finally someone climbed up to taeyong’s level of nastiness

and he thought he’d never find someone on eye level

secretly he loves the nice view but he won’t admit how much

meanwhile he will rewatch this over and over for the whole week at least five times a day

and then there’s taemin

| adorable 😊🤗🎀 6v6

| can you put the camera a bit closer again 👉👈

| and turn on the flash if that’s ok 😳

| ah thank you 💟

i don’t know what taemin has seen or heard or experienced in his life and what made him this way but damn he loves that graphic shit

turning on the flash makes even yukhei’s jaw drop and rub your clit even faster

he’s damn proud he could make your pussy open up to him this way as he should be 

cuz he’s really been improving his Big Cock Techniques (BCT)

mark doesn’t write anything but he’s online and streaming so yeah he’s jerking off

with two hands

baekhyun is typing how much he loves the wet sounds and how great the fingering action is

and he’s damn right. telepathy 

that’s your favorite pervert right there yeehaw

in the meantime yukhei’s brain is empty he’s just smiling bright and enjoying the moment and the attention and your body

ten is basically next door because this is the fucking wayv dorm 

you can hear him choke on his coffee and whisper ‘oh my fucking god, oh shit’ to himself

the phone almost topples into the sheets while lucas is putting all those rubs and circles into your clit but the audio is already telling the boys to watch very closely anyway because here it comes

taeyong is probably falling apart by now given how he’s posting a couple fragmented sentences that you try to decipher on yukhei’s phone

until you get close and take up filming yourself again 

so yukhei can make a video with his own phone as well

yep that’s two cameras on you by now not just one

xuxi’s been such a steadfast babe 

and he gets to see the fruits of his work. for one, just how much of an imprint he left with his cock inside you 

and second how hard he can make you cum now

those big fingers are magic on you

taemin gets all the closeups he ever needed from your camera because you hit the zoom even more

yukhei starts kissing you twice

not as carefully as he often would

it’s the really wet and passionate version this time

he films your lower faces as good as he can

those big fucking lips 

they never fail to make you get the hots

they’re really made to do all this are they

his tongue nips into you with extra saliva on board

you suck it into your own mouth and mix it with yours, and gather some more

and slip your tongue above his in return

yukhei makes sure you can hear him swallowing all that warm runny spit and moans into your mouth

guess who just blew one big juicy load into the condom

and he’s not even inside of you

jesus christ yukhei

looks like french kissing is his orgasm button 

you start sucking on his tongue when it slides back between your lips and you make them really tight and puckering

the noise is so delicious

yukhei shoots the rest of his semen into the condom

you go even harder on him, the kiss gets really deep

kai and baekhyun are literally jumping up and down on their beds by now

taemin and mark are sending star-eyed emojis

ten is definitely beating the meat next door

yukhei’s hand is massaging incessantly between your legs

he makes you feel. so. good.

when he retreats from the kiss you’re ready

you can hardly keep the phone stable in your palm

yukhei also points his camera back at your pussy again

and makes sure to catch every contraction

you know an orgasm is good when you’re going all “oh... ohh...”

even taeyong goes online to stream his reaction because you cum so beautifully

he’s actually crying and can’t close his mouth he can’t believe what he’s seeing

your pussy lips are so sloppy and stretched apart and twitching and you make sure the camera catches every bit

it takes almost half a minute until your muscles calm

you tell yukhei to clean it up with those plump lips of his

baekhyun and taemin are violently agreeing with thousands of “YESS EAT UP!!!” and “yes!! 😊♥︎🌹” text bubbles in the chat

your guys are so cute do you realize that

in order to have both hands free, lucas ends his video, puts his phone aside, and is already licking you up like a whole bowl of whipped cream

you keep on streaming on your own phone and brush the hair out of his face

the best part is catching yukhei’s tongue winding between your lips and then spoiling your pussy with big kisses very very slowly as not to overstimulate you

he’s such a fast learner he’s doing it really well

once you’re satisfied and cool off, you stroke the back of his neck and his favorite boyfriend duties are officially on pause

so he can go to pull off the condom and clean himself up, and get ready for bed after a quick mini snack

while you blow kisses into the camera, flirt with all your babes while they flirt back and even bow to you

and film your pussy all swollen and licked up but slowly closing a little bit again, ever so slightly

ten sends two little black hearts and a little “that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen thank you 😽”

you make sure taemin gets an extra close view of your clit and taeyong is making high-pitched squealing noises in his reaction video stream

mark goes like “yea that’s the spot!”

kai has joined baekhyun with the mouth and saliva action, they’re both licking their lips all over the place and make lewd lusty faces

they’re literally sucking and eyefucking your pussy through the camera bitch they want it so goddamn bad

oh to have their mouths on you right now to come down from your high and chill

you tell everyone how much you miss them and how badly you want them to be here

and how you want to feel all of them all over, on your skin and inside you

the chat is full of yearning and horny crying emojis now

yukhei helps you clean up the rest while you text how it felt with mark and baekhyun because they wanna know more

you talk about how yukhei’s girth is always rubbing that one spot inside and his breathing changes when it does

and you say you really loved their reactions

the members promise to be careful and discrete when they re-watch the stream and ten also says that if you don’t want it to stay in the chat some day you should never hesitate to delete it

you say no problem boys you should know me inside out, just remember to use head-phones when yukhei starts slurping at the 01:27 min mark

taeyong and mark are losing it at your puns

then you have a glass of water taller than yukhei’s dick and basically dance to the bathroom

lucas talks to the boys with his big ole smile in his pyjamas while you’re busy

oh god he is so shy

but very very blissed out. it really takes only two things to make this man happy. big plates, twitchy pussy.

a truly simple man. you like that

kai is definitely evolving from his teasing yukhei agenda in the meantime

he is sending thumbs up emojis instead of raised eyebrow ones

you lay down in xuxi’s big embrace and say goodnight to your boys

yukhei buries his nose in your hair, and kisses you on the forehead so innocently, taeyong melts in his little video square on screen

taemin is a big fan as well

he’s living true to his “explicit shit and romance” life motto isn’t he

you ask if everyone was enjoying themselves

big positive reactions all over the chat

you coo how you adore them all so much and want more of things like this where everyone is involved

eight people are going to bed very happy today

yukhei waves and baekhyun goes offline as well, as does taeyong who’s beaming

end stream

it was a masterpiece

that mark needs to recover from the very most, his entire bed is full of used tissues

and basically

over the next few hours the chat is losing their minds over and over again

everyone can’t stop gushing and telling you what their favorite part was

kai says how turned on you were was making him hard all night

ten enjoyed the wild kissing part and how wet everything was

naughty boy taemin keeps on talking about how — i quote — your insides are the best ever!! while sending flower emojis

your stream has unleashed a gigaton of sexual energy

and that basically goes on and on

until tuesday arrives

oof 

today’s the day

you know that ten is up to something 

except the little hearts and kiss comment

he hasn’t written much in the chat

oh shit oh shit what is he planning

he truly is a pisces

you know that some epic stuff is about to go down since the cats are with yangyang 

and — what

there’s a large canvas in his room with a piece of cloth to cover it

lord have mercy

he’s bringing the big guns

ten will even hold a little speech on how he got inspiration two weeks ago

only to proceed to unveil the art very shyly

it’s an elaborate pencil drawing standing about as tall as him

immaculately sketched in a realistic way

have a guess what he’s been drawing

exactly right it’s an erotic depiction of you

laying on your back, thighs spread, head thrown back

and to make it mysterious you see more of the legs rather than the crotch area

so whatever or who is giving you pleasure is entirely up to you to imagine to your liking

it’s more about how the person he drew feels lust rather than the onlooker. he drew this for your own enjoyment

he did that very cleverly and classily 

this canvas will be your utmost treasure and get such an intimate spot in your home

it doesn’t take very long until you’re mounting him and get those hips moving in a circle

ten is just full of surprises

you ask if you can photograph the drawing and upload it to the chat

ten is like ohhh!

but why not, now that he thinks about it. he secretly likes praise and visibility for his drawings so much

the post is definitely a success 

lots of exclamation marks and reaction memes for three hours straight

but who would’ve thought otherwise

ten is just massively talented, always on point

and hits the right nerve with his line of work

as your pussy can attest

yukhei is gonna tease in the chat that he heard you in the dorm and that it sounded mega hot wink wink wink

ten writes:

| my tongue hurts 

| let’s do it again next week

| i feel inspired to draw more as well

the chat explodes with hype for another two hours

multiple members come up with their own artistic takes on you

on wednesday kai presents a feral dance he choreographed for the whole morning. showing a representation of what you are to him and what he feels for you

very beautiful

on thursday baekhyun gifts you a deliberately humorous doodle titled mochi mama in the style of i dunno, probably picasso on crack

you have not seen anything like it

it’s gonna make you laugh in sad hours for many days to come

talk about come

baekhyun will have his hands busy in and on you all night

he wants to feel mama mochi and please you and make you smile

try not to climax challenge: failed several times

on friday mark blasts a song he wrote about you as soon as you put your hand bag down in the studio

100% of the lyrics are about how sexy and charming and special you are to him and how infatuated he is and how much he thinks about you all the time and how much you knock him off his feet, and how he has the biggest hots for you, jesus christ

that mark lee canada flow wants to make you fucking nut right then and there

the fandom just got his lit mixtape and he’s already working on another one i guess he sure has enough nsfw inspiration for it

all the more reasons to cum hard on his dick tonight

and make sweet love to that sexy body because mark lee isn’t the only one with the hots

then comes saturday

taeyong day

the tension is rising

you’re at his place

the sweet boo comes to put some chirping fledgelings into a towel on your lap as usual

there’s a big crispy lasagna baking in the oven, dripping with cheese and sauce with the most full-bodied herbal mix ever

damn tasty 

gordon ramsay would rate this particularly well on twitter

honestly man

we all know gordon ramsey would like taeyong’s dishes

the evening passes as it always does

so he didn’t jump on the bandwagon that’s interesting

it’s almost as if the stream didn’t happen or anything

just as you expected

taeyong doing his own thing and being just very consistent makes him so sexy and desirable to you it’s hard to explain

you just like his style of going about things you know

he’s very receptive to your impulses

you figure it’s up to you to make some steps

so when he opens the fridge to pull out a self-made, perfectly swirly vanilla-chocolate vortex pudding that’s just at the right temperature, you can’t help but hit on him like the world is ending 

but as you learned from taeyong’s example: your way

you ask him to open his mouth and maneuver spoon after spoon of pudding into it for him to deliciously savor it

giving him compliments on always making your day along with that

that bowl is empty very fast my loves

and taeyong very happy

oh yeah he was enjoying that

with his eyes closed

oh fuck

the sexual tension could rip the air in half like a mark verse

you decide to sit down on his lap all nonchalant and finish your own pudding... more than suggestively

taeyong is basically holding his breath at this point he’s a puddle

you tell him he can put his hands on your waist if he wants to

no answer needed his fingers are already on their way

you can hear how his heart is approaching a techno music BPM

at this point all you can do anymore is lean in to whisper if he likes to go to the bedroom with you

he can keep the apron on

taeyong tastes deliciously of pudding aye

you roll around in the sheets kissing so heavily

this is pure indulging you just feel how you’re sleeping with a chef

who happens to have the veiniest dick of all time

you’re definitely filled up well

sliding up and down on him deliciously for twenty minutes

really slowly and hugging each other tightly

and saying romantic things

that’s the good life

by the end of the evening the group chat gets a picture of taeyong’s world class lasagna 

and a ‘very random’ shaky picture of your hand in his hair

which baekhyun instantly comments as:

“now tyong knows how great you taste as well 🤓😁🤗“

yukhei agrees wholeheartedly and ten starts making baby don’t stop puns

kai is totally in love with the quality food 

baekhyun voices his interest in making more pictures of that kind with you. you know, hand in the hair, no big deal

kai says hurry up with it hyung, all the hair dye makes you balder every minute

baekhyun reprises his doodling and now draws a couple

it’s mama mochi with byun baldhyun

“this will be the next selca“

glorious

you’re having a damn good time

but later you feel something is going on

the whole week passes and taeyong seems to be brooding

next saturday he has a hard time expressing himself when he comes to your home 

you ask if he’s not comfortable having more sex or if he struggles with the relationship setup

taeyong says it’s not that but can’t explain any further

you go on a whim and ask if it’s a confession he has on his mind

bingo

“taeyong... if you think i’ll judge you for something. remember we’re only doing this since a couple weeks. it’s hard to know how the person really reacts if you don’t know each other inside out“

he is still hesitant

you ask him if it’s something taboo

“yeah...”

you thought so. taeyong is the least basic person you know along with taemin

guess why these two are saved for last my dear readers

you tell him that how he’s in his own lane is what you appreciate him for in the first place, it’s why you’re here with him, you love your duckling chef so much

if he wants a different kind of sex that’s perfectly him

he looks relieved and understood hearing that

and confesses that yeah... he wants to go a little kinkier with you

now you know why taeyong was acting with so much restraint

and put all of his feelings and sensuality into food pretty much

in fact the kinky sex has already started whether you noticed or not

indirectly. as in, the dynamic

truth is he wants to be a service sub

oh yeah lemme introduce you to some new things

service subs like to really cater to their dominants and fulfill their every wish not just in bed, but around the house as well

and there’s even more to it as you will soon discover talking to him about it

an apron is only the start

in case you have been living under a rock

taeyong’s duality is nuts 

he’s a completely shy mega pervert

it’s not a secret that this guy wants hardcore bdsm torture sex

you letting all that aggression loose on him for fucking sport

and being cold to him

with a bit of soft domme action as the perfect balance 

yep 

he wants you to take him out and take care of him at the same time

he’s perfectly aware he’s among the freakier and more deprived members

even ten is just casually freaky and just open for a lot of things. taeyong is deliberate

and pretty deep in the femdom community as far as his browser history is concerned

we all know assertive partners are his thing

but he’s afraid he’ll get you into something that’s a lot of responsibility

you say mister i’m familiar with your interests 

my dear you never made them hard to guess

you tell him it’s no problem for you to give it to him raw

you’ll be doing disgusting things to him that sexy face will straight up drown 

did you know?

our dear boy taeyong loves it when you spit in his mouth and do virgin roleplay

if he asks you to break him don’t be surprised

he wants to release control completely

he goes by all the rules

and i guarantee. when he comes along your dominatrix mood is gonna skyrocket he just brings that shit out in people

his mere naked body is just... how not to go nuts on him how he wants it

long story short tied up taeyong head to toe ends up immortalized as a vertical photograph

the group chat is overwhelming your notifs with wide-eyed emojis and all caps

amping up the game a little more each day are we

without even trying. hell, this just happened

where this is going is gonna be fun

sunday goes down with you grinding yourself all over taemin but you’re both clothed

you grab the back of his neck to lean in for kisses over and over and over

yes kisses are key

if not the favorite thing he does

let this sink in. if taemin overwhelms a little kitty with a hundred thousand smooches, just how kissy is this guy gonna be 

and have fun teasing his erection through his pants

lee taemin a squirmy mess? hell yeah

in classic fashion he will spend the most time of the evening on his knees getting slapped around in several blindfolds, harnesses, and wrist ties

his fantasy finally came true

i repeat what taemin has been dreaming of is reality

thank god for taeyong having you second guess his private tastes. otherwise you would not be on your dom grind now

taemin even goes as far as ordering lingerie for your encounters — to wear himself because he’s taemin

satin and silk blouses he already has in his wardrobe so there’s no shortage

i don’t have to tell you that you can spend hours grinding on his cock in a room full of candles while taemin is in head-to-toe bondage

that’s his idea of a good time and hell you are really treated to perfect eye candy, taemin’s hotness will bring your pleasure to a new level

the group chat will definitely love your photography taken from your sessions

taemin is just an utter no-compromise kinda man to make kinky love with. everything is planned he’s never settling for less than a perfect evening

where both of you really experience the ultimate satisfaction from treating your bodies to the best of clothes and toys and scenarios

give me an amen for taemin being your sunday guy because this legend of a man is your personal church

and his discography is the bible

and cum play is the baptizing my friend

so yeah huh

every day you can look forward to. monday to sunday

and not a day goes by without someone in the chat reminiscing the steamy video you did with lucas

you end up repeating what you wished that day

for everyone to be with you

so you could feel all of them 

and you say maybe it’s time to arrange something 

you’ve gotten to know each of them personally and intimately by now

and integrated them into your personal life

hell when you wake up the first thing you see is ten’s drawing across your bed

or baekhyun’s funny mama mochi art on your phone background

and you start your day literally selecting from a pile of taeyong’s freshly washed and ironed clothing stacks in your wardrobe

sitting at your breakfast table with a bouquet of flowers that kai and jongin brought you

eating food you bought together with lucas

listening to music that mark made especially for you

they’re all in your life together so it’s the right time to make some heated love together

the chat is all down you don’t even have to ask any further

baekhyun volunteers to go about his leader duty to organize the best possible venue and best possible date

cause with superm things do go 100

he asks what kind of atmosphere you have in mind

you say hard and nasty and kinky

which will definitely make the chat interested

and baekhyun was about to rent a huge modern art penthouse in gangnam

you say no need to go that expensive. you just need a large bed, no paparazzi, and an area where you can be loud. sculptures you could care less about

you have yukhei on your team, so that’s a living sculpture already 

it needs a safe haven essentially, with a dark and lusty atmosphere would be so nice

ten steps in saying he has the exact spot you’re looking for 

he has a friend who runs a declining night club in the suburbs, with some pretty attractive and grungy backrooms with plenty of space to fuck

yeah a club is exactly what you’re looking for that’s a good idea

it’s closed on monday so baekhyun and ten arrange a rental just then

of course way in the evening

with the guarantee of nobody else around

baekhyun knows how this rigged game rolls he says they need the club to perform a dance practice, overnight stay, and shooting a music video

which is only a half-lie

not “hey we are super m planning an orgy wanna invite dispatch and tell lee soo man”

regardless ten’s friend is pretty chill and indifferent anyways

and baekhyun’s money is doing the talk

you’ll be guaranteed to be left by yourself

monday evening it is. 

you already have a whole bunch of fantasies to let loose on your boys

and put it all in the chat

yo it’s called brainstorming and it sure has brain in it

you discuss

and it goes down next week 

you encouraged the members to wear what they feel best in, no dress code, no comparison thinking. you want to meet them like you got to know them, each in their favorite expression

taeyong dons a mass onslaught of fetish gear underneath a trench coat, including a fancy collar, lots of hairspray

and latex gloves. shit he’s a freak

baekhyun puts on the coziest clothes he finds and his smol sneakers but they are secretly expensive, his hair is curly and big, he put on a nice scent

kai can’t help but go black suit and lace underneath, you know him

bleach blonde yukhei gets out the tight white tee and smug jeans

creative genius ten goes all out designing his own fashion (!) with paint, he puts on sexy af glasses and goes for his signature ‘cleavage down to the belly’ look underneath a bomber jacket

mark goes for a casual suit but make it swag, with a sleeveless top underneath, yeah those mark arms go crazy 

taemin — picks his most dazzling silver outfit that looks like a rendition of mermaid scales, pointed shoes, princely hair, famous i’m so fabulous

and it’s already starting out sexy in the car before you even arrive 

because this is all gonna be glorious from the first second to the last

baekhyun and kai will do the driving

you have not one but two classy and sexy chauffeurs you hear me

yeah in their shiny black german cars with those sleek comfortable seats

baekhyun, taeyong, ten and lucas are a team

and then you get kai, mark, and taemin, including your group luggage because such a trip needs a lot of things to pack trust me

you’re with team kai on the way to the club and with team baekhyun the way back 

it’s already lit and steamy on your way there

nothing better than getting in the mood held by the greek god arms of none other than lee taemin with mark lee assisting

you’re entirely wrapped up in kissing taemin so passionately, his tongue melts into your mouth like the finest chocolate

thinking about how you were making out last week gets you going even more

as does feeling up his bulge, ugh taemin is so sensual

mark sitting on your other side being eager to attend to your thighs, your waist, your back, your hands, your hair, your stomach

yep

yukhei has been telling him about the wonders of a whole-body massage since you like it so much

mark gets his hands all over you to provide a sexy caress and wow he’s doing it well, giving everything the perfect kind of attention, always asking if you want more of this or more of that

mark loves everything about you and he knows how to make your anticipation become even more intense by dedicating time to all areas generously

you feel like he’s worshipping you head to toe

it’s the way to get turned on

mark has great soft hands and knows your best spots by now

that’s exactly why it was a good idea to sleep with the members individually at first

you could figure it all out in detail and each member could show their style of doing things, and you could teach them

mark has become an expert in skinship

while he’s kissing into your neck whispering revering things to you nobody else would understand

they’re intimate, spicy details from your studio lessons

with a romantic twist even because mark is giving you his entire arsenal, the entire palette

“i’ve been thinking about you so often...”

with jongin driving carefully and taking the lesser frequented roads 

kai is really keeping it together

the maknae backseat party is faithfully photographed by mark who sends it to the other team after taemin and you select the best shots, giggling

your favorite is a bird’s view of your cleavage with taemin kissing right between your breasts, slightly below the sternum

his hair is softly splayed over the area

taeyong and ten reply with heart eyes in the chat

on you go kissing and touching

taemin is so gentle with you and easily accepts your wild licks and bites, leans his head back so you have perfect access to his neck

by the time you arrive at the club’s back entrance, he’s marked up and his lips are mighty used

ruined neck, ruined mouth

taemin’s favorite two accessories to walk into a club with 

including a hard-on

with mark and kai strutting right after, chewing mints

...both getting hard themselves because mark loves your body and jongin has very good ears when it comes to picking up things that happen in the back of his car

and this bitch got a raging libido, so

the best part is everything is prepared

the other team already parked their car there earlier

ten had the keys to every needed lock, showed everyone around, and then baekhyun went into organization overdrive

this is the first time he didn’t clown around to distract from work since debut

if baekhyun ever means serious business... wow

your best boy taeyong has located the perfect backroom that’s shaded inside and neon-lit from the outside

the window’s aren’t particularly low-sitting so that’s a privacy plus

there’s a huge white extra oversized bed with some more great furniture and a sofa landscape

he desinfected everything to a T

and pulled out every utensil you might need from a large black bag

he walked in like he just commited a bank robbery but in reality there’s cutesy pink rope in the bag

oh well

classic taeyong

yukhei sorted and handed out the condoms plus water bottles for everyone

he’s the expert for the basics don’t come at him he’s doing a great job

after you reminding everyone of the safeword 

taemin sits down with you on the bed and you keep kissing

keeping up the flow right there

//

you beckon your lil’ adorable mochi who’s been dying for skinship

baekhyun is so turned on he wastes no time joining

still fully clothed while the other members are about to undress

you actually like baekhyun huddling up against you in his oversized hoodie it’s cute

so hey, change in plans

everyone ditches the protocol and climbs on the bed only without their shoes 

lot of ties and belts to pull them closer to you

you bring all of them together on the bed now

the feeling of having everyone around you is so electrifying, you have to distance from taemin’s seductive lips not to get some kind of adrenaline overdose

jesus this guy is trying to soak your pants like baekhyun forgot to turn off the shower

you get to enjoy five minutes of relaxed massaging from all sides to cool everything down a little

baekhyun and yukhei alternate with kissing you

yum

big plush lips plus a horny tongue

that’s a good combination

kai is definitely setting the pace of how to massage you, and how to move the body while doing so, and what expressions to make 

instead of sitting there awkwardly staring into space

remember? master of courting — that’s kim jongin

even baekhyun follows his example a bit

you’re entering cloud 9 from that whole-body massage

you can tell they’re all dancers. there’s rhythm involved

having the seven of them attend to you at the same time just hits different

that are 14 hands

70 fingers

all in sync with kai’s physical ideas, carefully yet purposefully kneading and stroking 

kai also helps everyone find a good area and makes sure everyone stays away from any precarious or sexy zones

because you’d probably get off from that in the matter of a blink

to be honest you’re already feeling heated you can’t help it

but that’s a good sign you’re definitely feeling this 

and there’s not a single limp dick in this room at this point already

baekhyun being the best people reader all over again manages a seamless transition to some water drinking

so everyone is ready to go

you wish you could do everything at once but decide to get a load of some slow body rolls against you because hell yeah

courting expert kai is sure to oblige, dance god taemin joins right in, and ten completes the holy trinity and hell does he go off

photographer mark on duty again. this moment has to be captured

baekhyun does his mood management magic and encourages ten and taemin to let out their little sounds more

kai he doesn’t have to tell

nor you because you’re already moaning

shit these guys are just too good

these bodies are machines

again bless your xuxi workout sessions

you wouldn’t keep up otherwise

you curse them because your pussy feels creamy way too early

switching to grinding on their bulges is not a better idea because it’s making you even hornier but anyway it’s your favorite activity

yukhei takes time and some effort to get fully hard so that’s a grateful job now

because you can gather yourself

you resort to using your cleavage to stop turning yourself on completely

and then your hands to palm his pants because that’s even more inconspicuous

group sex with superm? hardest early orgasm avoidance challenge EVER

is there some kind of legally accessible viagra for women

there’s no way you could turn yourself off help

you either get the first orgasm out of the way or keep it together to have some suspense in here and see the boys work hard

the decision is clear

time to bring out the toys that taeyong assembled on a table

baekhyun, taemin taeyong and ten are in the down to get tied up in various ways

lucas and kai get blindfolded and get a sexy task from you

slowly humping the mattress just for your viewing pleasure

topless for that matter

no need to ask twice there they go

photographer mark stays free and flexible. it’s always good to have someone outside bondage just in case with such a big group

anyway so you will be busy for sure

the rest of the boys strip down to only their briefs and get a good dose of spanking

ten is definitely moaning the loudest there

taeyong ends up with tied wrists in a prayer position and has his fun getting slapped around by you 

until he’s breathless and smiling to himself with his tongue hanging out

someone got his daily meal of smacking

taemin highly approves 

nobody’s surprised

baekhyun gets a quick and simple upper body rope harness that’s very easy to grip him by

and just to tease him you add some nipple pinches

result: loud baekhyun noises

cute as hell

so that’s how he’s been training himself to reach all those high notes

interesting

taemin, completely naked, has his hands and ankles tied, looking so beautiful all helpless and his cock itching for stimulation

and because taemin’s strange ‘artistic’ kidnapping fantasies that he never stops talking about cannot be ignored he gets a mouth gag for good measure

you know you just roll with their ideas

he’s a simple man that’s all he needs

you decide to put a bigger bondage piece on ten who ends up in a hogtie aka his new favorite place to be in

if there’s one guy who’s flexible like that it’s him

let’s see for how long he can take it

ten likes a challenge

you tell mark exactly what kind of pictures you want of your tied darlings and he’s well-engaged with that task

baekhyun is clinging to you a lot in the meantime

he gets kisses on the mouth 

and your open ear 

because you can tell there’s something on his mind

or rather

his ass is telling him something after you activated it with spanks huh

what does baekhyun want?

baekhyun wants the strap

and the strap he shall get

his time has come

this time the safeword won’t do so tapping yukhei’s thigh is the deal

taeyong’s kinky tool collection has a nice and thick equipment to offer, jet black black straps, jet black dildo, like it’s some kind of secret agent gear

it takes a lot of lube to get it into baekhyun’s tight and tiny ass but what’s new 

he’s not the gaping expert 

and way too busy laughing at the members’ reaction faces so his damn asshole is contracting god dammit

what a brat

next time he gets a toy for prep

only when you grab him by the harness and get into a rhythm, baekhyun throws it back

good boy

kai and xuxi are allowed to take off their blindfolds now because you have a task for them

taeyong’s toy collection features one extra long double-ended dildo, transparent and neither too slim nor too wide

if baekhyun doesn’t have that thing inside his throat i don’t know who

this shit is made for him

and you can tell he’s salivating for that

you tell yukhei to use those big hands to keep baekhyun’s head steady

and oh wonder, his long fingers enclose it perfectly

kai gets to go hard on baekhyun and fulfill his lifetime fantasy that he has had for over a decade now and jerks off to every night:

baekhyun not talking

so while baekhyun’s ass is getting properly stuffed

so is his mouth

kai has no qualms squeezing the toy into baekhyun’s throat a little more roughly

those are some pretty intense choking noises

mark steadily hits the snapshot button

some people go to pound town

baekhyun goes to silicon valley

kai is not afraid to push that thing as far as it can physically go

you’re pleased with how he’s doing it

and with baekhyun’s blowjob abilities anyway

is there a better throat in this industry? probably not 

he’s pretty surprised himself with how much he can take it

that poor ass is getting more than it can handle in the meantime, baekhyun is throbbing and whining

little did you know his prostate is so sensitive and makes his dick leak

such a shame you fully exploit that

you tell yukhei to have baekhyun move his head on his own to get into the rhythm

and get taeyong over to suck on the other end of the toy because oh yeah

let me just say these two are amazing

god bless sm entertainment 

not for any executive decisions

but for their uncanny ability to attract and assemble all the subs

lee taeyong giving head like the rent is due is a sight you need in your life

like everything, he does it roughly and properly

baekhyun is barely even sucking anymore just straight up gagging and seeing stars

because uh-oh here comes a big fat prostate orgasm

mark is clever enough to hit record on his phone

and capture a shaking baekhyun travelling through a whole bunch of universes, at least in his mind 

because that’s how strong his climax is

all he can say is thank you mama mochi and recover from this on his back

kai is satisfied with the result as well because baekhyun managed to not say anything for fifteen minutes

kai never had this much silence in his life

taeyong is still not done sucking the toy off and you let him

never step between a man and his favorite dildo

lucas takes up the task of untying ten who wants to share the other end that’s free now

and mark hands over the camera to kai who films just that

which also means mark is in the mood for you

about time to get some dick

and have taemin watch right next to you

being able to delight in mark’s wonderful technique

doggystyle

which ends up in kai joining 

which causes yukhei to join

and baekhyun to film 

the three are literally queueing while waiting for their turn

you tell them when to pull out and let the other member have you

until mark is riddled with so much suspension, the fifth thrust on his turn ends up in an unexpected hard climax

“oh my god oh my god!“

obviously kai will let loose now and cum as well, accompanied by really breathy groans

yukhei takes his time to make you moan which gives both taeyong and taemin a good show and an untouched orgasm

eventually you get to hear lucas growling his soul out

and kai bickering to pull out already

because it’s time for buffet

after getting rid of his condom, mark has been untying the very resilient ten who’s been in prawn bondage for like half an hour and five minutes now

respect

he and baekhyun team up to eat you out

yeah prepare for a dream team

while mark and kai chill on the other side of the bed

lucas on the other hand still doesn’t have enough and ends up licking your legs with his cock firmly palmed in those big hands

baekhyun and ten are doing the most meanwhile, lapping you up all sloppy

the job of the cameraman goes to a wild taemin who’s undone his safety hook 

he can’t stand this shit anymore he has to join the action instead of lying around in ropes

jeez the guy has the fun of his life playing with filters

silently giggling to himself

until kai finds out that taemin has been putting cat ears on ten and cowboy hats on lucas

kai confiscates the phone from naughty taem and decides to take up that task himself

so taemin can eat you out himself now

alright there are three heads bumping each other between your legs now

and yukhei close-by, currently nibbling at your outer thighs

can you imagine how crowded and crammed that is

you tell mark to get taeyong out of his ties as well

if you’re gonna cum he has to join the party as well

and he will not hesitate my friend

taeyong’s kinky tongue (which can make all kinds of completely unprecedented moves and slurping noises) riles up the other three to put all their effort into this

you order baekhyun and ten to line you left and right of your hips, fingering you from there

and let both taeyong and taemin get you to the point with their tongues at the same time

it’s a busy day innit

the reason is that baekhyun and ten didn’t come but you plan to change that with some dual handjob

baekhyun lets out some pretty hoarse panting noises

(yeah jongin destroyed him with that toy in his mouth for real)

once your hands grip onto their erections, almost automatically baekhyun’s fingers start going crazy on your clit and ten goes mad with his thumb right next to it

yeah he’s kept his rings on this is gonna be a sexy sight

mark and kai retire from their pillows to join at your request

mark kissing you, jongin sucking on your breasts

from this point on things are pretty much just a daze

two tongues two hands? oh shit

four people are trying to make you cum what did you expect

and three other people are licking you all over

yukhei doesn’t even care at this point he’s just straight up kissing your feet

ten is silently groaning it out, he’s pouring his seed into the condom with little twitches in the hip and shoulders

taeyong’s tongue is gonna finish you off, taemin’s lips will make you feel so good, your legs will be a shaking mess in yukhei’s hands

how to even describe this

it’s an explosion of heat and contractions

you’re going fucking crazy from all that head and tongue action god damn

mark definitely has to swallow a lot of your moans all over the place

and taeyong

also swallows

what a god-loving man

your pussy is leaking enough to feed baekhyun as well

who still strokes himself off while he’s cleaning you up with his mouth, oh boy he really developed a lot of stamina

you have your fun telling him to stop jerking himself off

so his orgasm ends up being ruined

those always mess him up

always a nice sight to have him shaking and whining and gasping

you have to roll over at some point before getting overstimulated

phew that takes quite a couple of deliberate breaths

now you have seven hot guys with sopping wet mouths on your hands, looking at you exhausted and infatuated

that’s super m for you

yukhei, man for the basics he is, hands out towels

you really gotta say he’s kept a clear head in all of this except maybe the sudden foot fetish reveal

of course taeyong towels himself down the most he’s basically covered himself with anything he could get his hands on

that face is dripping like his saturday evening lasagnas 

you help clean mark who kinda lost his mind and heart while kissing you, he needs your care a little more now

baekhyun soon snaps back into organization mode and has the brilliant idea to unpack xuxi’s and jongin’s luggage

to have everyone wearing their gigantic hoodies and sweaters

it’s warm in the room anyway but this feels so much cozier

after going to the bathroom

a ball of cuddly guys is snuggled up all aroud you faster than you can think

mark and taeyong are already sleeping they really knocked themselves out

champs

kai finds the completely forgotten phone somewhere in the sheets and turns off what seems to be a 50 minutes video

that’s gonna be fun to watch some time

baekhyun nuzzles himself to sleep against your sweater, right between your breasts

“mochi mama thank...” are his last words before he drifts off to pineapple pizza land or whatever dreamscape is in his head

probably something much dirtier but anyway

lucas and kai steal kisses from you and go off to sort out the room

jesus christ they still have the energy

taeyong’s nasty lil’ toy collection gets cleaned and reassembled, the ropes get coiled up, the towels wander into a washing machine in the other room

whose steady bumping lulls the rest of you to sleep

while taemin, epitome of taste he is, plays his best of hits on low volume with his phone

dozing off between seven guys while “heaven” is playing? 

best thing ever

the rest is history. you’re surrounded by sleepy cuddly sweater men

you actually sleep for a couple hours

dawntime you wake up cozied and sandwiched between yukhei’s tiddies and jongin’s back

which is the most protected, snug place on earth

even a nuclear superweapon couldn’t explode past that spot

they’re fast asleep

giant baby and teddy bear

safeguarding you in unison

ain’t they adorable

baekhyun is awake silently doing pilates, smiling cutely at you when he sees you’re awake, and he gets a big load of kisses i’m telling you

miraculously everything is tidy and smells fresh, and there’s a light soup in the air...

... lee taeyong got up at 6:30.

he was a whirlwind

the group gets to enjoy a 3-course classic korean breakfast 

because taeyong found the club kitchen

what kind of godly entity is this man

how did he do all of this

the club is the cleanest it’s ever been

taking care of 24 people is probably so difficult, this is actually easy to him

you depart in a good mood because damn that soup was restaurant quality and baekhyun had the idea to give you morning head to which everyone joined in

good thing the club has showers

baekhyun is still horny as hell and you want that D(elight) any time of the day 

so you fuck for a bunch of minutes in his car after dropping off the team and they giving you playful winks

you park the car behind xiumin’s house because that’s the most calm place to be

people are sleeping on xiumnin so hard, no paparazzi are around, ever

baekhyun settles there with you smiling

he didn’t sing “get you alone” with no reason

baekhyun needs that one-on-one time with you to ground himself and love you all over again big time

plus you are dying to cum bouncing on him on the driver’s seat 

while he is desperately gripping the steering wheel to have something solid to hold onto

yeah baekhyun is always ready to lose it for ya

it’s literally such a good spot to fuck

he’s strapped in all underneath you and you can see him squirm and get heart eyes from up close

you also love how your thighs meet the fabric of his pants

baekhyun’s tiny lap is already worth a huge nut you love grinding on him

those shapely thighs

with his cock peaking out from underneath his sweater

what his morning head tongue can do, his dick can do twice with ease so time for round two today

glad you have your bag with some utensils

you’re generous with lube on the condom

in fact you love spilling it over his pants a little

it looks like you’ve been squirting on him that’s why

baekhyun is down for your pervy imaginations

and gets even harder

not bad lil’ guy

time to make him moan with the grip of your walls

mochi breathes pretty hard because damn... more dick destruction

you love burying your hands in his sweater at the shoulders and just fucking ride

his hair gets messy, his bedroom gaze is so intense

his ass still hurts from yesterday but it seems to turn him own judging by the high-pitched groans and his begs for you to bounce on him harder

no problem his dick is just made to be ridden

if this wasn’t a high-tech car from the future with carbon and whatnot anybody could hear baekhyun’s um ‘vocals’ from the outside

this is so much fun oh my god

baekhyun releases with his eyes shut and teeth pressed together, his nose is all scrunched up

jesus this one got to him

he drives you to his home with his fingers shaking a little on the steering wheel

literally tapping like they do in his microphone on stage

yep this shook him up

and insatiable byun is now satisfied byun

nothing better than knowing you ruined your cupcake boyfriend in the best of ways

back at his apartment and after some extra carbo hydrate heavy food, as a pre-nap treat you grind on his thighs and his ass because why not

and gyrate him to sleep with his arms and legs stretched in all directions

both of you are still in disbelief that all of this happened

legend has it you’re dreaming of more group sex ideas that night

the next day taemin sends the champagne video to celebrate your first time together

which brings us back to the start

and that’s how it all happened

now you know

congrats on being a lucky girl

related: super m as subs

FINAL NOTE. ah shit i love this dynamic, thank you for reading 🎊

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts or translations allowed. all depictions fictional.

[linkspooky]

Yuta vs Yuji

(They are both Good Boys ™ and that’s the Problem ™ )

As this week the boys are still fighting, I thought it would be interesting to take a more in depth look at both of their characters and how they compare and contrast with each other. Yuta and Yuji are both protagonists who have protagonistic motivations. Their central conflict, Itadori’s struggle to find a good death surrounded by people he loves, and Yuta’s struggle to be surrounded by people he loves and protects them, relates to protecting the people they love and the world around them. However, that’s also what drives them into conflict with each other. They both view themselves as “the hero” even in conflicts such as the fight against each other, where there is really no good guy. 

1. I want to live / I want to die

Yuta and Yuji are opposites in their stated motivation. Yuta’s goal is to find a way to live a happy life, surrounded by the people he loves. Yuji’s goal is to find a way to die surrounded by people he’s helped in life. 

Not only are their stated motivations opposites however, on the outside they are both the opposite in several ways. Yuji is someone who is known for his strength whereas Yuta is immediately remarked upon as the type to get bullied.  Yuji is immediately remarked upon for his cheerful disposition, whereas everyone who knows Yuta picks on him at first and notices how gloomy he is. 

Yuji is someone who seems to make friends and connect with people almost immediately, whereas Yuta is someone who it probably took him a long time to start getting along with Maki and Inumaki based on what we see in the prequel. Maki challenges him at first, and Yuta doesn’t understand Inumaki at first. 

Yuta is passive, and Yuji is active. Yuji is known for running after people to save them. Yuta’s actually not as motivated to save random strangers as Yuji is, he’s simply going along with becoming a Jujutsu Sorcerer because that will help his goals, 1) to make new friends and find a reason to live 2) to release Rika.

The difference between them even manifests in the way they became cursed. Yuji actively chose to swallow a curse, because he wanted to help Megumi and needed the power to do so. It was a decision he made. Yuta was the one who cursed Rika yes, but not only was it a jujutsu technique he used unconsciously, he also forgot about it and blamed Rika for cursing him instead.  

Which is also something that reflects in the central flaws of both characters. Yuta is someone with a victim complex. He tends to avoid taking direct responsibility for his actions and blaming it on someone else. He acts passive in almost every situation, and doesn’t accept that it may be his fault. Which is why he misremembered what happened to Rika. Yuta could not accept the idea that he was to blame for cursing Rika, so he blamed Rika in his memories instead for cursing him.

It’s been outlined by Maki before Yuta’s victim complex, but basically he reads as a nice person on the surface by pretending to be innocent when he’s not. Which is why she says his goodness feels fake, and he himself feels gross. Yuta kind of just, represses and ignores the bad parts of his personality, to seem like a hapless victim. Of course Yuta is not good or bad, he’s just a dude. But, Maki even goes further to point out Yuta himself doesn’t even seem to know who he wants to be. 

Yuta’s central character flaw is that he never accepts responsibility for his own actions. He has no self confidence and because of that he has a really tough time standing up as an individual. 

When he can learn to control his power, and stand on his own two feet rather than just avoiding responsibility and acting like a victim with no control over his situation. Yuta begins to change, but I think he also elevates his friends far beyond himself. 

He aspires to be like his friends, but he also feels like they’re already better than him and he’s unworthy. Which is why he’s constantly insecure about the relationship and needs to protect them. Yuta believes himself to be weak, he sees himself as a weak person, and so in every situation he tends to assume he’s the weak one or a weak victim which makes it hard for him to see what he’s responsible in those situation. 

On the other hand Yuji takes almost too much repsonsibility. Rather than trying to depend on others, Yuji is always, running ahead on his own and that’s where he makes his mistakes.

He thought he was strong enough to take down Choso on his own. He wasn’t. He thought he was strong enough mentally to prevent Sukuna from rampaging, he wasn’t. Yuji’s mistakes always come from taking on more responsibility than he can handle, and then letting things fall out of his control. 

Yuta’s irresponsible because he sees himself as a victim and doesn’t understand how strong he is, Yuji’s irresponsible because he constantly overestimates what he himself can handle.

If you take the scene after Yuji dies the first time into account. Sukuna outlines several facts. One, that Yuji is not actually strong enough to suppress him. Two, that he rampaged against Megumi specifically because Yuji got cocky and tried to use his power without using a binding vow and think it through. Three, that Yuji overestimates himself and his capability to keep Sukuna down and because of it, he agrees to a simple terms of “If I defeat you inside my own body you revive me with no conditions” and then just immediately dies. 

All of this of course being foreshadowing for what happens after the Choso fight. Once again, Yuji overestimates himself and how he can win the fight fighting alone. Halfway through Yuji gets overwhelmed and Sukuna surfaces. When Sukuna surfaces he rampages, because Yuji did not even think of the possibility that Sukuna might rampage if he died or lost consciousness, and therefore there was no binding vow in place to stop him. It’s not because Yuji is a bad kid, but because he is a kid, and doesn’t know better. He acts like any fifteen year old would dealing with a 1000 year old spirit that’s much smarter than him. But it’s also a case of Yuji thinking everything comes down to strength and he can beat Sukuna just by being stronger, when Yuji actually solves none of his problems by fighting alone, and all of his major victories come from fighting together with others. 

Yuji and Yuta are even opposites in regards to their curses. Rika loves Yuta and wants to protect him. He loses control of her because he’s too scared to face her, and has no idea how to begin controlling his power, which is once again this flaw that Yuta’s fear is a fear of taking responsibility. Yuji on the other hand his curse Sukuna loathes his guts, and is constantly trying to undermine him. Yuji’s problem is again and again he’s proven to underestimate Sukuna, he’s not afraid enough of Sukuna because Yuji himself considers himself a strong person and overestimates what he can be responsible for. Rika is an ally outside of Yuta, and Sukuna is an enemy within Yuji. 

However, after going to such length to establish them as opposites they have one central similiarity. Both of them are incredibly lonely people. They can’t really make friends or connections normally. 

Yuta has this fear of living alone, and Yuji this fear of dying alone. 

They both only form relationships on the basis that they’re needed. Which is why Yuta goes so insane about protecting his friends. Which is why Yuji keeps focusing on death above all else, because that’s their true “purpose” that underlies their stated motivations. They’re both doing this because they are afraid of being alone.

However, they both need to prove that they are “worthy” of love. In order to do that, they need to be good, useful people. Thus they are heroes, thus they are good guys, thus they are protagonists. 

Yuji becomes so insanely motivated to fight after Sukuna’s rampage, because if he doesn’t help someone, if he doesn’t justify his decision to keep on living somehow they’re just a murderer. Both Yuta and Yuji don’t really care about the world or circumstances around them, they just want to be validated by the people around them.

Yuta is a deeply selfish person, because he just wants other people around him to tell him it’s okay to live. However, he’s also just a suicidal fifteen year old kid in the first place, any kid his age would feel that way, would need that support and he shouldn’t need to earn it. That’s what he misunderstands. However, Yuji and Yuta keep trying to seek external validation. They keep trying to earn love rather than having it given to them.

It’s what Yuta completely fails to internalize after his fight with Geto. The lesson he needed to learn was that there was more to the world around him than just protecting the people he loved, but it seems coming back to both of those people he loved being hurt has caused him to double down on “protecting the ones he loved” vs “thinking about what is justice”.Yuta’s still stuck in this mode where he has to earn love, and that becomes his first priority in everything.

The problem with making the decision to ignore justice is that you can end up at the wrong side of the equation. Yuji is Yuta. He’s another victim who allowed a curse to rampage because he was cursed as a teenager and could not control his own power and people ended up dying for it. 

However, because Yuta only understands that his friends have been hurt, and refuses to understand Yuji as both a victim and a person outside of himself he accepts his role of executioner.

Yuta was the person who was going to be executed a year ago. The only reason he didn’t was because Gojo gave him a chance and extended a helping hand. However we’re now seeing Yuta take the opposite path. he’s made the decision to become executioner, to not save when he himself was saved. Which is just sad because Yuta and Yuji are character foils.

 A conflict against Yuji, the other main character, is really just Yuta fighting himself. Yuta cannot forgive himself for the crime of being weak, and therefore he blames Yuji for being like he was a year ago. Yuta still doesn’t know how to stand strong on his own, to accept that his friends love him for who he is, so he’s still trying to earn love by avenging them and acting overprotective against Yuji, when we know Inumaki was friends with Yuji and probably would not want him to be hunted down and killed. 

Yuta and Yuji are both seemingly completely selfless people who can come off as rather self centered when you examine their deeper motivations (they do what they do, because they want to be loved and needed) but it doesn’t come from a place of ego, it’s just that they’re lonely. They can’t feel accepted for who they are so they both try to be heroes instead. 

[kikyan]

Secrets

Yandere Light Yagami x Reader 

TW: Yandere, Mentions, and depictions of Sexual Assault towards the Reader, 

I do not condone these actions in real life and this is purely fictional and should be taken as fiction. 

Check at the end for the yandere discord link if you’re interested in joining! 

A loud gasp left [Reader], eyes wide and sweat covering their body in fright. Same shit, different day. Another nightmare and one that no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t run away. Sitting up in their bed, they held their head with their hands. Rubbing their eyes slightly to get accustomed to their surroundings. Turning their head slightly, they were met with their alarm clock that read ‘4:39’. 

‘Shit…’ 

It was too early to wake up but they couldn’t go back to sleep no matter how hard they tried. They looked over to their desk to see their homework from last night. It was an essay about the justice system and morals/ethics that was based on a book they were reading in class. It wasn’t completed just yet because [Reader] lost the motivation to write it, but since they were awake they might put their extra time to some use. Walking over to their desk, they reached for the chair before stopping. 

‘ I should get a drink of water…’ 

[Reader] quietly left their room, making sure not to disturb their mother who was surely sleeping in. As they went to the kitchen, they reached for a cup of water and gulped it down in one go. Rubbing their throat to soothe an ache, they went for another cup but took it upstairs. Sitting at their desk and looking over to obtain a pencil, scanning the contents of the assignment, requirements, and what was already written. It wasn’t a lot, just their name and date. Starting with a small thesis that highlighted their main points, they scoffed before looking out their window. It was pitch dark but what they were trying to see wasn’t anything in particular, except for the home that was next to them. It was abandoned and no one was inhabiting it at the moment, but there were so many memories that rest in the very pavement that makes up the home. 

Glaring at the house and with a scoff, determination raged inside them as they looked over to their paper. They knew what to write, they knew the feelings they wanted to convey, they knew what justice they wanted at that moment, ethical or not. By the time they finished, it was almost time to get ready so [Reader] ensured that their paper was safely stored away before going about their morning routine to prepare for school. As they finished and were about to head off, they stopped right in front of the house next to them. It was pretty, but beauty isn’t judged from the outside but the inside, the only sad thing is that inside it was like the core of a rotten apple. Inside was horrid and distasteful, but that was downplaying what really transpired in that house. Whereas the outside of the apple was certainly more appealing and so was the house as if it weren’t untouched by time itself. [Reader] bit their lip before turning away from the house, it was best forgotten right now. Making their way to class, they sat down in their assigned seat waiting for the teacher. Looking to the side staring into space, they didn’t notice that someone took his seat next to them, none other than Light Yagami. It wasn’t until they turned to look at their peers did they notice him next to them reading a book. Light looked up and turned to face them, a small smile before saying ‘Good morning’. [Reader] nodded and returned the greeting, before facing the other way, until his voice woke them from his trance. 

“ Are you alright [Reader]? You seem awfully quiet.” 

“ Just tired, what about you?” 

“ Same old. Did you have any trouble with the assignment?” 

[Reader] was quiet for a second, Light reading into it but [Reader] noticed and quickly replied with a ‘No, not really.’ 

“ I see, did you write about anything particular?” 

“ W-!” 

“ Good morning class, I’ll be taking attendance now so please settle down in your assigned seat.” 

[Reader] mentally thanked the teacher for making it in the nick of time. Light Yagami, was an exceptional student no doubt, taking both regular and additional classes yet still managing to get his assignments all turned in on time. He was often paired with [Reader] for group or partnered assignments so they developed a bit of an acquaintance. Friends maybe but anything else would be over-stretching it. They were left pondering his question, yeah they were a bit close but not that much, was there a specific reason for him asking them questions? 

‘ No I’m just reading into it too much, it must be with the cases that are arising with these so-called criminals dropping dead. Maybe he wanted to know if what I was writing was directed towards that? Even then, what interest does he have with that-?’ 

A soft nudge on their arm woke them up, turning to look at Light in confusion. 

“[Reader’s Full Name]”. 

“ Here.” 

The teacher went off to call more names, [Reader] turned to look at Light who just smiled in return. 

“ Sorry, the teacher was nearing your name and you seemed out of it, thought I would get you back.” 

“ O-oh, thank you I guess…” 

That was the end of the conversation, Light facing the class and paying attention with [Reader] trying to do the same but their mind was clouded with both this morning and Light. 

‘ What was that about….?’ 

It wasn’t until the end of class where the teacher offered to collect the papers but was called to attend an emergency. 

“ Class representative, do me a favor and collect the papers and drop them off at my office. Excuse me.” 

With that, the teacher was gone and the representative gathered the class’s attention. They began to pass up their paper and the bell for dismissal rang. Everyone proceeded to head out, groups forming and discussing after-school activities such as the arcade or a sweets shop. [Reader] packed their bags and proceeded to walk towards the entrance until Light stopped them. 

“ [Reader]! Would you like to walk home together, I don’t have cram school to-!?” 

“ Yagami! I was wondering if you wanted to help me deliver these papers to the teacher’s office?” 

[Reader] saw this as a chance to deny his offer, “ Sorry Light, but maybe some other time?” 

“ Sure.” 

Light walked with the class representative and headed to the teacher’s office. The representative attempted to make an idle chat with Light, but he wasn’t interested. He replied softly and short, the walk there was awkward but it was even more when the teacher wasn’t present in their office. 

“ I-ll goes and try to find them, are you okay with staying here until then?” 

“ Of course.” 

When the representative left, Light averted his gaze to the papers and lightly skimmed the names until he got to the one he wanted to read upon. 

‘ [Reader’s Full Name]’ 

He grabbed their paper and skimmed the content of the assignment, intrigued with their interpretation of the justice system. While his ideas clashed a bit with theirs, he was understanding of their origin. No matter, he would just have to fix that, change it, he just had to show them how the world truly is and how better it would be without those fears. Upon further reading, he began to see how they agreed with Kira in terms of punishment for the criminals. There was more but this was certainly interesting to find more of their thinking pattern, was it possible that Light had found someone worthy of sharing his ideals? 

He contemplated keeping their paper but he realized that if he took it [Reader] would probably get missing in their assignment. The teacher came into the room and thanked the representative and Light for helping them. They both excused themselves and Light proceeded to walk away, his thoughts on [Reader]. 

‘ You seem awfully interested in that other human. By any chance could it be that you’re willing to let them know about the death note?’ 

Light closed his eyes and avoided speaking, he still was in the city and not closer to the streets by the houses that were a bit more secluded. 

‘ Hey, Light!’ 

“ How many times have I told you Ryuk, talking to me when we are in public is risky and as a matter of fact I may.” 

‘ You think us talking is risky, isn’t letting that other human know riskier?’

“ Yes, sharing information about the Death Note is more than risky, but it may be better to have more than two people knowing about it. If our views match up they can be both a great partner and a good alibi when people start suspecting me. If our views don’t match up, then I’ll simply have their memories erased.” 

‘You’re going to let them touch the Death Note too?’

“ In life, you have several people, those who have to see to believe or those who will place their faith blindly in some people. [Reader] doesn’t strike me as the latter so I’ll go with the first one. Besides, if I told them and they did turn, erasing their memories would be a bit more work and risky.” 

‘Okay but why them?’

“ Because…[Reader] is someone who you can either bring up or break down. [Reader] is someone who won’t throw a hysteria when faced with the unknown and based on this essay I suspect that there is more to them than what they lead on. That is an advantage over them, but if they step wrong it could also be their downfall. Besides, I’ve always enjoyed my conversations with [Reader], they say so little but so loudly at the same time. Quite interesting.” 

‘Light has a crush on someone!’

“ I won’t waste my time on such things, right now I can’t afford to fall for that. My priority is reshaping and rebuilding this world as their new God.” 

The conversation was cut short as Light went inside his home and up to his room. He examined the essay through many viewpoints and established that there must have been someone that they hated or wanted to receive punishment, but who? 

~~ 

[Reader] walked to their room and with a heavy sigh collapsed on their bed. Their mother was nowhere to be seen but they were probably out shopping as groceries were lying about in their kitchen. They rested for a while before heading downstairs to put the groceries away, the T.V playing in the background. It wasn’t anything serious until the news segment was announced. 

‘ Breaking news! It is rumored to believe that [Inmate Name] may be released this upcoming week for good behavior. It seems that there have been sever-’ 

Silence. The T.V was turned off as [Reader] began panicking and hyperventilating. Memories of that morning began rushing to their head and their body began to enter into an automatic response, their knees weak but adrenaline was pumping. There was no one around them to assist them so they began to assess the situation themselves. Their heart was racing but it wasn’t anything too serious, just a panic attack and not a heart attack. They tried to steady their breathing by counting and focusing their attention on an object of some sort. They turned to a small painting of a floral garden that their mother had on the wall, they began to engrave all their focus on it trying to steady their breathing. Slowly but surely they began to calm down, but the uneasiness was still there. After a while, they grabbed a glass of water and calmly began to drink the water. The groceries were almost all put away but [Reader] left the non-perishables out as they went up to their room and began to lie on the bed. Sleep slowly overcame them, their dreams turned into nightmares. 

~ 

It was a hot summer, but the kids were out and still playing out by the park. [Reader] and some neighboring kids were out and about playing tag. 

“ I want to be it!” 

“ No! You were it last time!” 

“ How about we play rock-paper-scissors to determine who is it?” 

“ Fine!” 

“ ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!” 

“ Aw darn it I lost!”

“ And I didn’t win this time either!” 

“ Well, the rest of you hide and I’ll go count.” 

“Okay!” 

The kids scattered and began hiding in some spots, [Reader] struggled to find a spot that wasn’t already claimed by the other kids. Those were all her spots that guaranteed her success, but the other kids took them. [Reader] asked if they could hide with the other kids but they all shushed them away. 

[Reader] was running out of time until they heard a voice. 

“ Hey [Reader] are you playing hide-n-go-seek?” 

“ Y-yeah. . .” 

“ Here, why don’t you hide behind me?” 

A man with a warm smile offered, the man wasn’t a stranger at all to [Reader] or their family since he was their father’s co-worker and best friend. 

“ Okay!” 

They were hiding and they were doing a pretty good job, they weren’t at all found until they all decided to call off the game. 

“ We can’t find [Reader]! Where are they?” 

“ [Reader]! You win so just come out!” 

“[Reader]!!” 

[Reader] popped out from where the stranger was and laughed, “ So I win again!” 

“ Where were you? We were so worried!” 

“ I was hiding behind him!” 

[Reader] pointed at the man on the bench, he waved softly. The kids felt a bit uneasy but their mothers came to collect the kids. [Reader]’s mom showed up to collect her but stopped when she saw the man. She smiled and waved at him. 

“ What are you doing out here?”

“ Oh, miss [Last Name]. I was going grocery shopping when I spotted [Reader] playing. Hope I didn’t interrupt or do something wrong.” 

“ No that’s quite alright, I was just surprised. Though it’s a bit late for groceries.” 

“ Yes work caught up with me but I’d figured I go get something to make my dinner tonight-!?” 

“ Why don’t you come to eat with us? My husband isn’t staying overnight at work so he should be home soon. In the meantime, you can help me with dinner or hang around the house? It should be fine.” 

“ I don’t mean to impose on you-” 

“ Please I insist, it must be so hard for a single man to balance everything. You have friends so I suggest that you start learning how to say yes and let yourself be taken care of one in a while!” 

“ T-thank you [Mom’s first name].” 

With that, small chatter filled their home as they prepared dinner. [Reader] was playing with their toys and even invited their family friend to join them. When their father arrived home, they sat around and ate dinner. They all had a pleasant time, laughing and smiling. Telling jokes and even discussing life and the future. It wasn’t until it was a bit too late and past [Reader’s] bedtime did he leave and give his thanks for having him over. [Reader] lay in their bed, their mother tucking them in and bidding them a good night’s rest. 

“ Mom, does [Family Friend] have kids or a wife?” 

“ Why the sudden question?” 

“ He looks lonely and I don’t see him with kids.” 

“ [Reader], he had a wife and two kids. It’s just, they are no longer here. They left.” 

“ Where did they go?” 

“ They went somewhere better. Now sleep [Reader].” 

“Okay mommy.” 

The days continued like nothing else, there would be times where the [Reader] would be taken care of by [Family Friend] because their mother had a doctor’s appointment and their father was at work. [Reader] stayed at his house, eating small snacks that he prepared for her as he sat on the couch just staring at her. 

“ Hey [Family Friend], do you have a wife or kids?” 

Silence loomed the room before he turned to face her and shook his head. 

“ Not anymore [Reader], they all left me.” 

“ Why? You’re not a bad person.” 

“ Thank you, but they didn’t leave like that. Something happened to them and they are no longer here with us, but enough of that, what do you want to do?” 

“ Hm, let’s play a game.” 

“ Okay, a game it is!” 

It was days like these that the faith one had in another human was shown. Back then people slept with their windows open and some even with the doors unlocked, but that faith was stolen from [Reader]. It was a day where both her parents were busy so their neighbor was in charge of taking care of her for a couple of hours. Nobody knows how or why it happened, but nightmares plague that home as a grim reminder that the ones we trust are just another wolf in sheep's clothing. 

“ Hey, [Reader]?” 

“ Yes?” 

“ I want to play a game. . . but it has to be a secret.” 

“ A secret?” 

“ Mhm, not many people know about this game so this can be our little secret, like a secret code.” 

“ Okay, but what’s the game?” 

“Well. . .” 

His hand lay on her shoulder, rubbing it softly before his other hand rested on his thigh, he rubbed it lightly causing her to flinch before he let go. 

“ [Reader], you know I would never hurt you. . .right?” 

“ Yeah. . .” 

“ This isn’t hurting you, I only want to play a game. It’ll be fun for the both of us I promise, I don’t want to hurt you. . . I love you. . .” 

His hand placement resumed as he went higher and lower. That was when the nightmare began, and it didn’t end for seven years. 

~~ 

[Reader] awoke with a loud gasp, their hands instantly reaching to their body. No one was here in their room, they had to reassure themselves over and over again before reaching over to where their clock lay. It was almost 8 pm but they decided upon bathing before doing anything else. They went to the bathroom and proceeded to bathe, using the products they deemed necessary. Once they were done, they wore comforting clothes and went to bed. Though it was hard to fall asleep in fear of that dream. 

The next day they awoke earlier than usual, going on about their day and proceeding to do their morning routine. They began walking to school promptly and proceeded to go to their seat. Light walked in moments later and took his seat next to them, smiling and greeting them. The teacher soon walked in and class started all over again, nothing new was changing so why should they worry-

“ [Reader’s Last Name], see me after class.” 

[Reader] looked up and panicked slightly, was it about what they wrote? 

‘ It can’t be, I mean this class is crawling with Kira supporters and those who don’t, mine must have been the least controversial-’ 

“ [Reader], is everything okay?” 

“ Y-yeah. . .” 

At the end of class, [Reader] walked to their teacher’s office and waited patiently for them. Thoughts running through their head, am I going to get called out? What’s going to happen, will everyone know wh-!

“  [Reader’s Last Name], I want to discuss with you something regarding your essay submission.” 

‘Shit so it was about that! Fuck what do I say-’ 

“ You didn’t turn it in.” 

‘Huh?’ 

“ W-what do you mean?” 

“ It was not in the pile with the others, since this isn’t a rare occasion but I remember slightly. You pulled it from your bag so I’m assuming that either the class representative lost it or it was misplaced. Would you mind rewriting it? I’ll give you an extension on it of course, but I would like it submitted by the end of next week.” 

“ S-sure.” 

“ That is all, have a great rest of your day [Reader’s Last Name].” 

They nodded and proceeded to walk away, but anger laced their face the moment they were out of view. 

‘ You’ve got to be kidding me, lost? That’s not my fault, if anything I shouldn’t have to rewrite. If they saw me, they should give me full credit!’ 

“ [Reader], would you like to walk home?” 

They looked up to see that it was Light Yagami. They were a bit hesitant and were about to say no until they realized that it might be nice to distract their mind. 

“ Sure.” 

They began to walk home, but awkward silence loomed over them. 

“ If you don’t mind me asking, what did the teacher want to talk to you about?” 

“ Just that. . . my assignment was missing and I have to redo it.  I turned it in but it’s lost apparently, did you notice the paper was missing or if the rep lost it?” 

“ No sorry, but I can help you work on it if you’d like.” 

“ Thank you, I might take you up on that.” 

“ Well we’ve arrived at my home, why don’t you come in?” 

“ I shouldn’t impose-” 

“ Nonsense, any friend of Light is welcomed here!” 

They both turned around to face an older woman, one that held some resemblance to Light and was assumed as his mother. 

“ O-oh I should-” 

“ Please I insist!” 

With that, it was decided that [Reader] would stay over and have dinner with them. In the meantime, they were up in Light’s room preparing to do the assignment. Once they got settled down and his mother brought up snacks, did the real purpose of his invite begin. Halfway through discussing the thesis and beginning, did Light begin to ask strange questions? 

“ [Reader], how do you feel about Kira?”

“ Why?” 

“ No reason, I guess it’s all the publicity Kira has been getting that I assume you may have your own opinion.” 

“ Well. . .Kira punishes criminals so without a doubt yes, I guess you can say that I'm somewhat thankful that Kira is there. However, there are some flaws with that, let’s say petty crime and theft aren’t punishable by death, Kira would only be acting like an executioner, not a judge. Yet, I think that Kira is going about it the right way. The difference is that some people attempt to stop crime, you can’t stop what is happening because someone will always stand up or do something, but you can control crime.” 

Light remained quiet before speaking silently, “ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you?” 

“ What?” 

“ What would you do if Kira were sitting in front of you? What would you do if Kira was me, [Reader].” 

Silence overcame [Reader], thinking about their answer they spoke.

“ If you were Kira, I would question your methods and motives.” 

“ Hm, interesting. Would you really like to see how Kira kills?” 

“ What?” 

“ Normally talking about this out in the open to a stranger would be a bit risky, I wouldn’t by any means do this, that is if I were Kira. Yet, it seems that if I were Kira I could trust you based on what you wrote in your essay.” 

Light unfolded the essay that was in his pocket, showing it to [Reader]. They were a bit confused and in shock, why did Light have their essay, and what was he going on about? 

“ Why do you have my essay? I didn’t think that this would be interesting for someone like you Light.” 

“ Well, let’s say I’ve had an interest in you for a long time, ever since we met you could say. Unlike most of our peers not only were you more open-minded but you thought for yourself, not letting others blindly tell you what to think. Based on this essay, I can trust you. . .[Reader], I’m Kira.” 

Confusion stuck them, did they really want to humor him, but even then Light might have been Kira. He not only had the brains to be in hiding for so long, but his ideas were lined up a bit with most people. 

“ I’ll bite, are you really Kira?” 

“ I am, now would you like to know who I do it?” 

“ . .  .Sure.” 

[Reader] walked closer, watching as Light revealed a black notebook with the words ‘Death Note’ written on it. They were confused, to say the least, but they also knew better than to laugh it off and to let him explain. 

“ This is a death note, a notebook that allows me to write the name of an individual and they die. I can choose the method of death and time, the only other requirement aside from their full name is an image of their face.” 

Light stood there, with both a serious face yet a smirk lightly playing at his lips. Was this true? They were about to ask more questions until Light interrupted them, “ Upon reading your essay, I think that there is someone who you want gone. Here try it for yourself, touch the notebook.” 

[Reader] stiffened a bit before nodding, they hesitantly went to touch the notebook. If Light was Kira and was telling the truth, [Reader] instantly became an accessory to the crime, to make matters worse now that Light told them, based on their reaction they could either die or live. Upon touching the notebook, they were met with a horrid creature looking at them with bloodshot red eyes and a smirk on their lips. They looked anything but human and as [Reader] was about to react, they stopped. Light smiled at the sight, they were smart no doubt about it. 

‘ Screaming would alert the mom and who knows what that would cause. On one hand, I could tell his mom that I want to leave but I'll surely die by knowing his identity. If I tell his mom about her son being Kira I would be mocked at and made fun of, all I can do is play along for right now.’ 

“ Open the notebook, look at all the names. With this, we can rid the world of criminals and clean up the streets, isn’t it great?” 

“ Isn’t your father a policeman? Why would you-“ 

“ Because what they are doing isn’t enough, crimes inspire other crimes and it will never stop. By controlling crime with fear we can make the world a better place for kindhearted people like us. You can’t stop crime because it will always happen, but you can control it, that's what my father and the others do. They try to control it through the system, but the system is flawed. With this, we can control it better than they can. Here [Reader], write someone’s name, I know you want to.” 

[Reader] was given a name and the notebook was flipped to a blank piece of paper. Light was awaiting their actions as [Reader] looked uncomfortable at the concept. Who was to say that they could play judge and executioner? They were contemplating until the T.V was playing the news channel about [Inmate Name]. Their heart stopped and Light made note of that, he walked over to the T.V and turned up the volume. The sickening sound of his name being played over and over again was like knives or nails on the chalkboard. A horrid sound, the sound of the end, it was a grim reminder that their life was in someone’s hand. 

‘ [Inmate Name] will be released today at 4 PM, here we have the news studio wanting to interview him. This was the man that escaped the death penalty due to lack of evidence-‘ 

‘ lack of evidence?’ 

The room went cold, their heart sank. He was leaving jail, because of the lack of evidence? Their breath started to increase as tears ran down their cheeks, they rapidly shook their head in attempts to calm themselves and began counting. 

‘ aren’t I evidence enough? He abused me. . . I am the evidence. I am the walking and living proof of his crimes. .  ‘ 

‘ I love you [Reader]. .  .’ 

[Reader’s] heart stopped, his voice echoing in their head as the memories were replaying again tormenting them. 

‘ You know I’ll never hurt you right?’ 

‘ I love you [Reader]. . . ‘ 

‘ Let’s play a game. . .’ 

‘ This can be our secret, like a secret code only we know!’ 

‘This can be our secret. .  ‘ 

‘ This can be our secret’ 

‘ Our secret’ 

‘ I love you. .  .[Reader]’ 

With a heavy sob that slightly confused and alerted Light, [Reader] wrote his name with such haste, with handwriting that was barely legible handwriting and his face clouded their mind like a rainy day. Tears slipped from them as they wrote his method of death, one that they deemed he needed. His execution was set and upon million watching the T.V, [Inmates Name] died a horrible and gruesome death on national T.V. [Reader] stayed crying as they watched the T.V through teary eyes, Light holding them close rubbing their back. He smiled, this wasn’t such a bad plan after all. Through the sobs, he was surprised his mother didn’t come up, but unknown to him she was outside talking to some neighbors and his sister wasn’t home just yet. As they started to calm down slightly, Light provided soothing words of comfort before whispering, 

“ We can clean up these streets [Reader], don’t worry. .  .this can be our little secret.”

~~ 

I apologize to the anon that requested this because as you can see there is no NSFW and very little of what they wanted. I am prepared to write more to the story if needed just let me know as I would like to rewatch the series before continuing. I have also opened up a yandere discord server to interact and will be running it with other close friends and @seiyasabi. Please check their content because they are really good! 

DISCORD LINK: https://discord.gg/ZMCfGCeN 

[sugarbabywenkexing]

1/7) LFM anon replying! *waves* I think that when LFM saved WKX, she made a gamble and lost. she took a chance to argue to bring him to GV and I think that she was hoping to claim him herself, take him back to her territory (sidenote: I don’t think there was ever any detail provided as to the exact nature of the power structure in GV so I generally just imagine the Devils as sort of fief lords with their own factions/territories under the overarching rule of the Guzhu) but instead the Guzhu said

2/7) “this one’s mine” and she wasn’t strong enough to fight him. and when WKX brought AX to her, I think it was less about knowing that she didn’t want to hurt him and more knowing that she protected the girls of GV. WKX made his own gamble to claim AX and won, though I shudder to think what it might have cost him to do so, but I don’t think he approached LFM with any sort of trust b/c WKX doesn’t really trust anyone at all aside from AX until he starts trusting ZZS. and I think yes, he might

3/7) be somewhat jealous of the things LFM does for AX that she didn’t do for him but I think it might also be something that he resents a bit. he paid the price for AX and LFM did not for him, was he not worth it? why did LFM not fight for him the way he had fought for AX? and yes, I think there’s also some self blame there. we talked before about how he draws a line between ZY and WKX and surely ZY deserved protection? but then

4/7) Divine Hand’s child might have been worth the cost but the Guzhu’s pet wasn’t. we know that WKX believes he’s a monster, that he’s beyond redemption, and maybe some of that started with this, b/c ZY was innocent but the woman who claimed to protect the innocent didn’t protect him. and then WKX made himself into the scariest monster in a pit full of scary monsters b/c that’s how he stayed alive, that’s how he kept AX alive, and that may be part of what he traded for LFM’s support of AX. the why didn’t she? did she see, even then, what he would become? the

5/7) valley seems to run on power, fear and mutual benefit. loyalty, true loyalty, is rare and mostly it seems to be “our current goals are aligned but we’re all expecting a knife in the back at any moment” where everything has an ulterior motive. and I think that child WKX wouldn’t believe it if LFM didn’t ask something in return for helping him with AX, he’d be looking for the trap at all times. my personal HC about that is that LFM opened the Dep of the Unfaithful to AX as a haven, giving

6/7) her friends/family/home and in return when someone hassled her girls, she asked WKX to make them regret it. b/c he could at least trust that trade and maybe later on he could believe that she would protect AX for her own sake. but they could never be each other’s priority, they’d both sell out the other for their own goals or protect what’s theirs, and there’s a weird sort of understanding b/w them in that. but they agree on AX. rule #1 of GV is “touch AX and die a horrible death” via

7/7) either the lady who hunts unfaithful men for sport or the guy known for murdering people on whims and that one time he skinned a man alive. so AX can browbeat Lovelace and snap at Ghoul and walk through the world without fear b/c what could she possible fear? until her heart gets involved, which is equally terrifying for WKX b/c he hasn’t a single clue how to be human either or what to do with his own hearts involvement but I think that’s a topic for another ask set, this one’s long enough

Yeah, I think trust was the wrong word to use, but as you said he knows she protects the girls of Ghost Valley and that makes her the most likely person to help keep GX safe regardless of his feelings. And there's definitely going to be resentment going on on his side for the fact that she didn't protect ZY, but then there's the idea of WKX trading on his monstrosity and now LFM is negotiating with him which is kind of the reverse of his value judgement. He wasn't worthy of protection then but he's worthy of making deals now?

That's a great point though about a trade being safer than owing someone a favour. In his eyes everyone wants something, the question is whether it's a price worth paying (and given what, as you said, it probably cost him to claim GX he knows how high that price can be). Protecting her girls in exchange for his is fair and nobody owes anybody anything after that, he's not trapped into something to regret later.

And that means GX has grown up with the most terrifying brother/father figure and the most terrifying auntie in the Ghost Valley and can be loud and brash and annoying in absolute safety because no-one will touch a hair on her head and risk their vengeance. They've succeeded in giving her that, and while humanity might still be uncharted waters her and WKX still have time to learn.

[dear-kumari]

hey i’m not disappointed by ur answer at all! and i agree, i liked her when she was first introduced, character design and the way she challenged yona, i just also love the page when she attacked joodoh for how it was drawn and joodoh’s expression lmao. i think it’s unfair for ppl to think she’s strong now bc i think it was clear she had a lot of fortitude the way she carried herself and offered soo won her deal at the beginning. i remember ppl thot it was silly she didn’t have a backup plan, but rly think she just couldn’t even think abt him turning her down bc she was sure he was lonely for family like her. she wouldn’t allow herself to consider the possibility. i do hope her frustrations w yona aren’t completely brushed aside in the future, bc i LOVED her whole speech abt that and def felt her pain. she was so sympathetic already, i’d be pissed too her in situation. the way i saw it, she knows she’s going to die young, and she wanted to at least die w dignity/secure position of power that’s HERS, not as a concubine. have all that she can bc her life’s gonna be short. and what’s wrong with that? it’s not like she had grand evil plans to use the dragons for, she doesn’t have enough time. i don’t want it to go straight to understanding yona’s had some hard times, bc that doesn’t change the point. her being angry w soo won now feels like a shift from that, but she could be angry w them both kusanagi doesn’t have to choose. basically, i rly hope her role can still be to push yona’s thinking abt hiryuu, since they’re both at the castle now still and someone has to bring her ho-chan....

(Anon, you have finally motivated me to figure out how people have been sending these insanely long asks lately, and for that I must thank you.)  I understand what you’re saying and I guess I do agree with a lot of it.  As nice as the sentiment is, though, I doubt she’s gonna be able to keep up the same level of animosity towards Yona as she has towards Suwon.  One thing I loved about her character at the start was that she didn’t owe Yona anything, unlike Suwon who always has the fact of his betrayal hanging on his mind no matter how valid his feelings and actions are — but then Kusanagi ruined that element of her character not three chapters in because, hey, why let a strong, compelling, motivated female character just exist independently of the protagonist’s divine influence, amirite?  It’s not like she could’ve negotiated her own imprisonment or anything when things went sideways, demonstrating her competency and quick thinking as a member of a cutthroat court or anything like that — nope, Yona has to step in with her Moral Compass™, Jaeha has to save her while she’s on her knees (I hate it here lol), and Yun has to show her the compassion she’s never received to melt her Ice Queen heart.  I think the stuff with Yun could’ve been fine and heartwarming on its own, but the whole conga line of “look how awesome and perfect the HHB is uwu” just doesn’t give her that room to be resentful of Yona’s ignorance without the narrative throwing what she owes Yona back in her face.  So … no, I think Kusanagi has already chosen, and poorly at that.

Can she still push Yona to think about her role as Hiryuu?  Sure, with time, I think the broad lessons Yona needs to learn about divine power and the gods will finally sink in.  But the framing is already super reductive, so I don’t think it’ll necessarily conclude with Yona needing to be critical of her own actions.  This is probably gonna end with the “wow this illness sucks”/ “okay then I’ll fix it” *fixes it* scenario that I expressed concern over before, one that nominally solves the problem but doesn’t actually take into account Yona’s personal relationship with power and responsibility.  If we’re just building up to Yona as a selfless savior of humanity, then I’m sorry, but I feel bad for both of these young women — Meinyan for being denied agency and dignity, and Yona for being denied dynamism and nuance.

[speuradair]

After School Lesson | M.N.

(Author’s Note- This is a reupload of a fic I posted a few months ago. I realized that it was deleted at some point? I’m not sure how or why, but here it is again lol)

Word Count: 3.1k

Contains: Death mention, swearing, angst, injury

Requested: by @technolilly​

“Hi! How about a Makoto X Reader where Makoto, Kyoko, and the reader were the three most suspicious people in the Mukuro trial. During the trial, Reader takes the blame off Makoto but at the last second Kyoko throws the reader under the bus, meaning everyone voted for reader so she was executed? Alter ego saves her and then Makoto and Kyoko rescue her from the garbage? Basically just make the first half really angsty and then have a happy reunion? Feel free to change anything you want! Tysm! “

-

“Being optimistic is the only thing I’m good at.” - Makoto Naegi

-

Thousands of horrific incidents happened everyday. People got attacked, things got stolen, accidents happened. It was just a fact of life. Yet somehow, even after hearing news reports of heinous crimes everyday of your almost eighteen years of life, you’re still never prepared for anything horrific to happen to you.

Then again, this kind of thing was recognizably unprecedented. In all of those newscasts you’d heard, both actively and passively, you’d never heard about anything like this. How could you have possibly prepared to be thrown into the midst of a Killing Game? 

Though it was hard to keep track of the days while being secluded away, you were certain you’d been trapped in Hope’s Peak Academy for at least a month. There had been over 730 hours to process this, but it still didn’t feel real. Maybe on some level you were subconsciously clinging onto a false shred of hope that this was just a night terror, or maybe your mind just wasn’t willing to admit that things really were this dire. Regardless of the reasoning, you’d spent your days here in an unlikely mix of dread and apathy. You were both hyper-aware and numb. 

And somehow, even in moments of heightened tension like this one, you found yourself spacing out and losing small chunks of time. You hadn’t even noticed you’d zoned out at first, and you certainly hadn’t intended to, but you realized you’d missed the last minute or so of the Class Trial. In circumstances like this, not catching a minute’s worth of conversation could have been a deadly mistake.

“Without my room key, I couldn’t have possibly put the locker key in there myself.”

Kirigiri was still debating Byakuya’s claim that she must’ve killed Mukuro, as the key to the locker holding the believed murder weapon was found in her room. Thankfully, that meant you couldn’t have missed anything too revolutionary. You took this to be reassuring and allowed your gaze to deviate from the two arguing over to the brown haired boy standing at the podium beside yours. The trial was in full swing and Makoto looked as pensive as everyone in the room did, but he still remembered to keep a tight, reassuring grip on your hand as you stood in the space next to his. While preoccupied with pinning the culprit, there was still a part of his mind focused on comforting you. 

“Does no one have any objections? Do you accept what Kirigiri is saying?” 

After receiving only silence , Byakuya sighed. “I see. We have no choice but to accept it. It wasn’t Kirigiri who put the locker key in her room, but someone else.”

“But.. who is ‘someone else’? Toges, you had Kiri’s key, right?” Hiro questioned. 

“Yes, but I have an alibi. After 10 p.m., I was with you all. It’s not possible for me to have murdered Mukuro Ikusaba or to have put the key in Kirigiri’s room.”

“Then who did put the key in Kiri’s room?” Byakuya was quick to answer Hiro again. “There’s only one reasonable possibility- He had the key with him and pretended as though he found it in Kirigiri’s room.” “You’re talking about... Naegi?” Aoi’s voice cracked a bit as she spoke, a look not unlike betrayal clouding over her soft features. 

“That’s the only explanation.”

“That’s not possible,” You spoke up without a second thought, though your voice was weaker than you had intended, “While we were investigating in the bio lab, Makoto gave me his jacket, and there definitely wasn’t anything in his pockets then. We went straight to the garden so he could meet with Byakuya after that, so he couldn’t have stopped to get it. If it wasn’t in his jacket, where else would he have been able to hide that bulky key without you noticing he had it?”

“Hm, I suppose that is a fair point. It would have been rather difficult to conceal it just beneath his shirt..” Byakuya looked away again in thought, seemingly satisfied with your reasoning.

“He actually took off his jacket? I didn’t think he ever took that thing off...”

“Oh yeah, he totally did! (Name) was still wearing it when they came into the garden! She even had her hands in the pockets,” Aoi confirmed to Yasuhiro, her voice brighter now that her friend didn’t seem like the culprit. 

“You had his jacket, (name)?” Kyouko raised her hand to her chin in thought, “It’s true that Makoto clearly didn’t have the key in his pocket when he gave her his jacket, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t in his pocket when he got it back.”

“Huh?” 

Other than Makoto, Kirigiri was the student you trusted the most. You’d covered for her multiple times, and followed her command even when you didn’t understand her motives or reasoning. You had offered to let her stay in your room with you last night when Byakuya confiscated her key. In a normal high school scenario, you wouldn’t have hesitated to call her one of your best friends. 

She couldn’t possibly be implying what you thought… right? 

“If the key wasn’t in his pocket this morning and he never stopped back at his dorm, he couldn’t have had it when the murder took place. Yet somehow it was in his pocket by the time he needed to plant it in my room,” she spoke with an almost chilling certainty. “There was only one person who would have had the opportunity to pass the key off to him in time.”

She sounded calm, not at all like someone accusing their friend of murder. 

“Hold on-” Makoto raised his hands defensively, unintentionally tugging the one in your grasp away rather harshly. He wasn’t happy when he was under suspicion, but now she was accusing you? 

But Kyouko didn’t yield. 

“Makoto was the only person who could have placed the key in my room, but there’s only one person who could have had it when Mukuro was killed. There’s also only one person that Makoto would be willing to cover for- his girlfriend.”

“What?!” you practically spit out your response. 

“H-hold on a second! That’s not what happened!” Makoto was reeling. “Let’s think things through again! There’s something at work behind the scenes here- there has to be! This whole class trial doesn’t make any sense, don’t you guys agree?! Mukuro Ikusaba, who we’d never seen before, suddenly shows up dead… and there’s a class trial for it?! A- and Kirigiri was saying, too, that this is all a trap set by the Puppetmaster! So it’s gotta be-” 

Monokuma’s shrill voice cut off Makoto’s desperate rambling. “Okay! Time’s up!”

“What?”

“Time’s uuuup! The Class Trial is oooover! So there’s no need to talk about anything else!” 

“W- what the hell? We’re out of time?” Makoto replied first, your reaction trailing quickly after. 

“Hold on, what do you mean? That’s not fair!”

“We’ve never had a time limit!” Suddenly even Kyouko looked panicked, her restraint and conviction having vanished as the trail was definitively ended. There was no going back. 

“All thanks to your tardiness, Kirigiri! ‘Cause of you, we were tight on time! With that said, you guys, it’s Ballot Time! Please cast your ballot using the switch in front of you!”

Makoto’s green eyes met yours as you both turned towards each other at the same time. The look of pure trepidation and disbelief etched onto his features must’ve mirrored yours perfectly. 

“Ballot… time?”

-

“I’m… the culprit?” your voice was soft, almost too quiet for even your boyfriend beside you to hear it. 

“N-no, that’s not right, guys-” Makoto was immediately shaking his head in shock and confusion, his hand reaching out for yours again desperately as he tried to make a last minute plea for them to believe him. Your words cut him off though, the panic fully setting in. 

“That’s not right! I didn’t do it! Th- this doesn’t make any sense!” 

“It’s time for another super exciting, heart-pounding punishment!!”

Your gaze directly snapped to Kirigiri, who looked even paler than usual- as if the weight of what her lies had caused was setting in. You’d had her back this entire time, and she blamed you. She framed you.  “W- why me?”

“I have no illusions for earning your forgiveness, because all of this is my fault..” her response was simple and to the point, just like her answers always were. She was acting like she usually did, except that she’d just betrayed you in the most brutal way possible. 

“Kirigiri, tell them-” Makoto made his own frantic appeal for her to clear this up, to do anything to stop them from ripping you away from him. He moved urgently, throwing his arms around you and clutching you to his chest. They couldn’t just execute you when you weren’t the actual culprit, right? This wasn’t how this game was supposed to be played. 

Yet Monokuma insisted, and you were forcefully dragged away from your boyfriend’s secure embrace. 

“Let’s get the ball rollin’! It’s punishment time!”

You have been found guilty. Time for the punishment! 

The sharp fibers of the ropes around your legs and wrists dug into your skin, dispelling any chance you had at convincing yourself that this was just some bad dream. You could feel the frayed rope stabbing your skin, the sputtering of the conveyor belt below your desk, the shake that spread through the room with every 

Thud 

thud

thud

Of the giant machine pounding into the ground behind you. 

Almost against your own will, you were flailing against the chair, screaming and sobbing, begging for help. No one could help you, no matter how hard you screamed, and flailing only made the sharp rope cut into your skin more than it already was. 

This wasn’t how this was supposed to end. You’d promised Makoto that the two of you would take down the Mastermind and get out of here together, yet somehow, you’d ended up in the execution chair. For a crime you didn’t commit. This was it, this was how you went. You had lost and there was nothing you could do about it. 

You were going to be blackened, and you had to accept it.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you tried to calm yourself, though your chest still shook with sobs. 

You thought of Makoto. You thought of how he’d been so reassuring and supportive during your time here. How he’d pull you into his side when you got too overwhelmed, or hold your hand when you investigated together. How warm he felt when he’d squeeze you into a tight hug, or how nice his jacket smelled when he let you wear it. How he could never tie his uniform tie correctly. How he had looked at you with pure love in his eyes that day while lying together under a sakura tree outside of the school, with the warm sun filtering through the petals onto your skin… when had that happened?

But a sudden new sound startled you and you opened your eyes without thinking. The heavy foot of the machine had frozen, and was now giving off a grating buzzing noise as if it was trying with all its power to still move, to still crush. 

You almost missed it in your surprise, but out of the corner of your eye you caught a familiar face flash onto the screen in front of you. Alter Ego? 

Then you were falling. The foot had stopped, but the conveyor belt had kept going and the desk rolled off of it, sending you flying backwards into the dark. 

Your eyes opened slowly, fogginess swelling in your mind as you tried to remember what happened and where you were.  Unfortunately, it only took a few moments for the violent memories of the trial and execution to come flooding back to you. The crushing block had halted, but then you fell backwards, still tied tight to the old wooden desk. Splintered bits of that desk lied around you, seemingly having shattered on impact. That same impact must've knocked you unconscious, but you were most definitely alive. Alter Ego had stopped the execution. 

You weren’t sure where you had ended up at first; it wasn’t a part of the school you’d seen before. Considering the rancid smell and large piles of garbage, there was really only one place it could be- the bottom of the trash chute. 

Pushing through the pounding headache pulsing from your neck, you stood to your feet to study your surroundings. Did you still have to watch out for Monokuma and the Mastermind, or had they presumed you to be dead? Had they all presumed you to be dead? Naturally your thoughts returned to Makoto- had he assumed you were dead? That thought made you feel even more nauseous than you had been from your probable concussion. There was a chance that everyone had written off trying to help you, even your boyfriend. You wanted to believe that he wouldn’t stop looking for you until he was absolutely certain you were gone, but your frayed nerves coaxed you to dwell on that feeling, that despair, of being totally forgotten. 

Salty tears slipped onto your lips, the sudden taste snapping you back to reality a bit. You hadn’t even realized you were crying at first. What was the point of crying now? That wasn’t going to accomplish anything other than intensifying your dehydration. The only productive thing you could do was to search for food, water or a way out. 

The large door at the front of the room was bolted shut. Of course it was. All of the food was rotten. Of course it was. With no way out and no food to eat, the only thing you could do was to give into the exhaustion- both mental and physical. 

So you slept. You hadn't really slept since this killing game had started, and though this wasn't any less tense of a situation, it was the first time in a while where there wasn't anything to do. There was no investigating to do or people to watch out for. Down here, the only thing you could do was feed that need to sleep. 

A loud thud shook the ground and startled you awake, your eyes immediately scanning the area cautiously. Nothing looked different at first, but you were certain that something heavy had just fallen down. Then you noticed that all too familiar green jacket peeking out of what must have been a new pile of trash bags. 

"M- Makoto?!" 

He groaned for a second, trying to recover from the rough landing, before his green eyes flickered open. They met with yours, and somehow, even in this twisted situation, his gaze still made your heart race. 

"(Name)! You're okay!" The clumsy boy scrambled to his feet as quickly as he could, trying not to slip on the trash he'd fallen down with. He barely wasted a second to steady himself before throwing his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as tightly as he could.  

It almost didn't feel real, like maybe you'd hallucinated him out of desperation and hunger from the last day or so of being down here alone. You hugged him back just as tightly, as if he might slip away if you didn't cling to him. Despite the lingering scent of trash around you, he still smelled as comforting and nice as you remembered. He still ran his fingers through your hair soothingly like he usually did. He still felt like home. 

He was really here, he'd come to save you. 

After a few moments of clinging to each other in silence, he lifted his fingers from your hair, a soft gasp leaving his lips. “Your head was bleeding?”

“I guess I landed wrong,” you tried to joke, though your laugh was breathy and unconvincing. Your dizziness and headache implied a concussion, but you weren’t ready to volunteer that information to him yet. In turn he pulled away to look you over completely

 “You look so much better than I expected though! I kinda thought maybe you wouldn't be..." He didn't dare finish that thought. He'd come entirely too close to losing you too many times for him to even say it out loud anymore. "I was really worried about you." 

"I wasn't sure you'd come after me," you confessed softly, burying your face in his shoulder as you leaned into him again. 

"I'll... always come after you." He pressed an endearing kiss to your messy, splayed hair as a flustered blush set in on his cheeks. Even after going through all of this together and being together like you had, Makoto still got embarrassed from affection and admitting his feelings so blatantly.

“I brought you food and water.”

He didn’t need to tell you twice. You reached out to grab what he was holding immediately. Simple bread and water had never seemed so delicious. 

After waiting for you to finish eating, which admittedly didn’t take very long, he laced his long fingers with yours. “C’mon, we need to get you out of here.”

“How? That door is locked and there’s no way we can climb high enough to go back out through the trash chute..” 

He flashed you that knowing, assured grin that you loved so much. It couldn’t have been more than a few days since you’d seen him, but seeing him smile at you like that again was enough to make you want to cry and cling to him tighter than you ever had before. Had there been no rush to get out of this hole, you would’ve done just that. 

His free hand disappeared into his jacket pocket for just a second before returning into sight with a shiny silver key in its grasp. 

“Kirigiri… gave you the Monokuma key?” After her dedicated attempt to frame you in the last trial, you weren’t too hopeful that she would be helpful in rescuing you. “Why?”

“It’s… a long story, that she wants to tell you herself, but she’s really close to figuring everything out. She’s the one who snuck me into the trash room and down the chute,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly with his free hand. “She’s waiting to let us out through the trapdoor there now. On the other side of that door there should be a ladder that leads back up.”

“She’s almost found the Mastermind?”

He nodded earnestly.

“Good. I want to get out of this stupid school. I want us to get out together.”

“Me too,” he promised softly, “But right now we have to get you out of this horrible place.”

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Old talks' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Old talks"

Chapter Summary : After receiving an weird transmission from the MI5, Yirina is, with Park, wondering about who sent it.....until she realizes.......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3900

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I couldn't believe it that I was never able to remember properly that today, the May of 8th was the day of my birthday and Park.....well....she remembered it very good. Our trip to get to London, it was just an perfect occasion for her to celebrate my birthday with only the two of us, away from work for just one simple day. We were going to put aside our mission against Perseus & Stone and just be ourselves....maybe finally fullfill that little dream I had to have love in her office, on her desk as it was an perfect occasion. It was like one of the many birthday presents she could have given me to be honest.

But everything can't happen without a little something that will occur like that and that little thing was the knocks on her door, stopping us in our moment alone, getting ourselves back to work and like nothing happened here. However, as I thought to be just an simple transmission that the MI5 was given by their mysterious source that could have given us a lead on Stone....became suddenly too personal for me as their source wished me an 'Happy Birthday'....to me....only me...something wasn't right.

As I was in my seat, having finished to decrypt that transmission and still astonished by that, I looked at the MI5 agent who couldn't know where to go right now.

"Uhmm..." I started, looking pale on my face. "Can I....can you leave the office for an minute ?" I asked him as I wanted just to be alone with Park for the moment. "It's serious." I added in a low voice

"Yes....yes, miss." He agreed, looking a little bit stressed with me acting like that before he stepped out of the office, leaving me & Park alone.

"What the hell ?" I whispered to myself as I redressed myself on my seat, my eyes focused on the two papers that was in front of me. "How it is possible ?" I asked, still to myself.

"What's wrong ?" Park was confused at seeing me like that, she wasn't understanding me at all.

"Someone I don't know wished me happy birthday." I replied, joining my hands together, trembling. "That's the problem, right now."

"And ?" She raised an eyebrow, still not understanding. "It should be good." She added, trying to reassure me.

"You don't understand, Park." I breathed, not angered at all. "Someone INSIDE the Perseus Collective has done it." I insisted on the 'inside' word.

"Shit." She looked away, now realizing my words and my state, feeling so weird right now after I told her that.

"That's means that Perseus and the others know that I'm alive." I said, looking sure of my words. "If Freya & Stone maybe never told an thing.....Stitch did." I added, referring to what I heard from the two when I was dragged into that plane in the Tempelhof Airport.

"I could understand Freya's motives but Stone....." Park whispered, biting the right part of her lips, at hearing  saying that Stone hide the fact that I was alive....and I think she was right about it. "They gave you an target in the back....and I will make sure no one hit that target." She affirmed.

"Maybe but in every encounter I did with them, was it 'Bell' or 'Yirina Grigoriev' who acted ?" I told her, remembering well that it was 'Bell' who was in line when I was facing Freya or Stitch. "They maybe think that I'm sort of.....not myself." I suggested.

"Oh, I see what you mean." She snapped her fingers towards me, her arms posed on her desk. "For you, they're thinking that we did something on you." She was right in her words and I could see the guilty part on her face. "By giving them the illusion that you're Bell, it's actually given you an chance to maybe make Freya defect." I nodded to her idea, been right about it.

"If I can make her slowly realize that I know well of my state, I could try to make her join our side." I continued in her idea, explaining it further. "It will be hard but it can be done." I added, not even sure of it in fact.

"Do you.....do you think that she will accept the fact that you are playing an act with 'Bell' when you will told her about the truth ?" She asked me, looking worried about it.

"She will have to." I replied, putting my arm on the chair's armrest. "Even after she has done to me, I need to try to save her from Perseus madness." I looked down for an second, away from Park "We still have this link as 'sisters', you understand ?" She nodded to me.

"You want to do this because you know that she is forced by Perseus to stay." She supposed and I nodded back.

"It's what I want to believe for." I said, taking an breath before rolling my eyes to the ceilling. "The call I gave her after our raid on that safehouse, it's something I can use to bring her to the right side." I added. It was maybe an dangerous move each time I was going to do that and even if I only did this once, I know that this mean is understandable....Park believe in it too.

"Of course." She breathed in approval.

"But now, I wonder who in the Perseus Collective can send me......" I started before I stop myself, having suddenly an revelation about the transmission "What if this person was no longer from Perseus ?" I got up slowly from my seat, pointing at the papers. "What if.....it was Zasha themselves ?"

"What make you think of that ?" She asked me curious.

"First, it's my code that is used and only me, Zasha & Portnova is able to use it." I responded, raising my right index finger first. "And second, it's always the MI5 who is receiving the transmissions, meaning that it's someone inside the country who is doing it."

"Shit, you're right !" She got up from her seat, looking amazed by me before I decided to walk away from my chair to go outside, prepared to talk to the MI5 agent with the transmission paper in my hand.

"Excuse me, sir ?" I called him out as he was standing next to the door, probably awaiting for the order that he could come back inside.

"Yes ?" He turned around to look at me, getting away from the wall he was leaned on.

"Those tranmissions...." I started, showing him the paper I took. "Did you try to know about the person behind them ?" I asked him fully.

"Well, in fact, I also came here for that." He replied, delighting me before I let him go back inside Park's office to continue this conversation. "We know exactly who is doing all of this for us !"

"You have a name ?" Park questioned him, leaned against her desk, crossing her arms as the man took a file out of his jacket, handing it towards me.

"Yes, name's Remi Baker." He responded as I looked at the file he got out : a false act of birth and an picture from an security camera of Zasha on it, behind an reception desk, giving something to the person in charge of the reception.....they faked their identity to avoid Perseus suspicion. "In fact, this transmission didn't came by usual : they literally gave it to our receptionist at the Thames House." He added, giving me an info about how the picture was taken.

"But why they took that risk to do this instead of the usual way ?" I told him, curious about why Zasha will have done this like that.

"We don't know either but with that, we were able to know who was our mysterious R." He exclaimed, biting his upper part of his lips. "We just discovered that they are living not so far from the MI6's HQ : in the Kennington neighborhood in an apartment complex."

"Shit, that's means they established themselves well in London." Park admitted, looking outside and seeing the city. "What's the situation now ?"

"They have been put under heavy surveillance for the moment." He replied, sounding sure as me, I was panicking in the inside at fearing the worst for Zasha. "We're planning to move on them in the afternoon."

"Wait, we need to be there." I expressed almost loudy about it...I couldn't let Zasha go away like that from the MI5 and it was my only chance to see them. "I know that it must be weird for you but....they're my friend."

"Really ?" I nodded to him.

"Listen, it's been 3 years that Yirina wasn't able to see them and we can try to have them come without any harm." Park defended my opinion to him, making me proud of her again like always. "You have to let us be there." She added, putting her hands on the desk behind her. I could see the agent scratching the back of his head, not sure before he resigned himself.

"Okay, I will talk to my superiors about that." He then start to walk away slowly, waving at us before he left the office behind him, closing the door.

"Damnit." I whispered to myself before I decide to gave Park the file as she didn't really see it. "All this time, Zasha was just nearby." I added as Park looked at the file.

"Seems that they managed to create themselves a new identity." She exclaimed, surprised to see what was in the file. "They're pretty talented."

"Always has been like that." I smiled about it before I pointed to the file. "I know it's maybe dangerous but...maybe that Zasha have to come with us at West-Berlin." I suggested, causing Park to look at me with an raised eyebrow "Maybe it's too hard to ask but while they're with us, the MI6 can put an heavy protection on their brother for the moment."

"Interesting idea." Park put her hand on her chin, trying to think about if it was an good idea or not from me. "It could work." She removed herself from the desk, putting the file on it. "For now, we have to wait that the MI5 allow us to go talk to Zasha in person."

"And what do we do now ?" I raised my shoulders, looking around the office.

"Well, we can eat and....wait." She replied before she moved to take the cake on the plate in her hands. "Hungry ?" I nodded to her as she sit down again on her chair and me, doing the same before we start to eat the cake.

Now, we needed to wait for the MI5's approval to let two MI6 agents to have an talk with 'Remi Baker' aka Zasha Smirnov.....my best friend from my old life. We ate the cake very fast in almost 20 minutes as it was big enough only for 2 persons, meaning me & Park herself. Aftet we finished eating, we were still waiting in her office, trying to find something to do so to pass the time, we decided to try to find some informations in her old boxes and files to see if we didn't miss anything about Perseus, Stone or anyone else in case.

We didn't find anything on them, it was always something that we already know about them or something that wasn't very useful for us. 3 hours after the MI5 agent left us in Park's office, he finally came back to us with great news at the end of the afternoon : we were authorized to participate in the surveillance of Zasha at their apartment in the Kennington neighborhood and maybe to talk to them before he left us again. Once we were prepared, it was time for us to go.

We took Park's car and we decided to directly go to the address where Zasha was living and to be honest, it wasn't very far from Century House meaning that we could have just walk to get there instead of taking the car but it was too late to think about it as we were arrived at destination when I start to think of it.

"So, what's the plan ?" Park asked me as we were in our car, parked in an parking just in front of the apartment complex at the other side of the street, with me stressing in the inside while I was looking at the entrance.

"I think that I need to go alone for the moment." I responded, looking back at her, sure in my voice. "Zasha will maybe panick if they saw me & someone that they don't know." I added as I removed my M1911 from below my jacket.

"You're sure of it ?" I nodded to her, putting the M1911 in the glove box.

"I can tell you when it's good for you to come." I affirmed, pointing at the small device in our ears. It was Park's idea to take them for us in case, staying in contact.

"Okay." I breathed before I started to open the door until I felt Park's hand on my shoulder.

"Be aware, Yiri !" She advised me, looking at me with an grin.

"I will." I said, reciprocating the grin before I managed to get out of the car, ready to go face Zasha after all these years.

I took a deep breath as I started to walk to get to the apartment complex, not stressing at all...stressing a lot in reality....walking through the street before arriving in front of the entrance....trembling. I stayed like it for 2 minutes straight in front of it not moving at all before I finally decided to enter the complex, getting myself into the empty hallway. First thing to do was to go check the mailboxes next to the door. I was looking until I found where Zasha was living under their fake name : at the second floor.

Another deep breath later and I start to get up the stairs, fearing at each time I will make an step the moment where I will see Zasha in front of me and then, I finally arrived in front of their door before I knocked two times, feeling all the stress and discomfort in me. I started to think that maybe Zasha has changed in three years...maybe that they pissed at me because of Portnova's state, I think that it wasn't going to be an easy talk to handle.

I heard some footsteps inside and the door getting unlocked but the door didn't get open after the unlock, leaving me with the urge to open the door by myself slowly. I entered the apartment, seeing it as an modest one but simple to leave in.....until once I had my feets in it, I could feel the cannon of a gun touching the left side behind my neck.

"Who are you ?" It was Zasha themselves, not having apparently seeing my face as I slowly raise my hands.

"Z-....."

"Don't look at me !" They ordered, cutting me as I was going to look at them, turning my head slowly before getting back in front of me. "Tell me who you are ?" They asked again before I took another deep breath, closing my eyes, hearing the door getting closed

"Yirina Grigoriev....been looking for....Zasha Smirnov." I replied in a low voice as I started to feel the gun getting away from my neck, making me look at Zasha again....they didn't change by an lot in three years : still looking the same nice-looking person.

"Yi-......Yirina ?" They were looking stunned to see me and me too. "I....I....." They started to said before they decided to hug me with all their might and then, I do the same.

"It's good to see you too, Zasha." I affirmed before we broke the hug and we could see that we wanted it to last more longer.

"I...I thought you were dead." They looked at me with wide eyes, precisely at the scar where they touched it with their hands. "What happened ?"

"It's....it's a long story." I snorted, breathing hardly from talking about it now to Zasha as they were touching the scar I had, putting my hands on their arm. "You....you might want to sit down, maybe ?" I proposed and they nodded.

"Yeah, sure." They started to move to a seat as I do the same, getting seated in a couch as they sat on an different chair from me. "I can't believe it." They breathed at me, fully seated.

"I can say the same, Zed." I smiled, talking to them with their nickname. "The bullet....deflected....skull's harder than we thought." I taunted, pointing at my scar before I returned back to a normal face, trying to not be sad. "Bad things happened to me." I admitted, biting my lips to it.

"Explain, please." They were sounding willing to hear my story.

"Well, to start....Arash Kadivar....left me for dead in Turkey before I was captured by the CIA..." I started, sniffing to each cut, my voice trying to not crack. "I worked with the CIA to stop Greenlight but....again, I was left for dead by the man who did something bad on me..." I added, putting my hands on my face. "Zed....the CIA has brainwashed me."

"No...." They were more shocked to hear this from me, they were feeling stressed and uncomfortable.

"Because of them, I'm trying to recover all of my memories I have lost." I continued, still my face in my hands before I looked at Zasha, removing my hands. "I spent 3 years in an coma in Moscow."

"3 years ?" They whispered and I nodded.

"Because of the bullet that was supposed to kill me." I pointed at my scar again. "My memories are going well and to say, I feel more better to remember them." I exclaimed, almost trying to smile about it. "What...what about you ?" I asked them as I looked around them "Where's Dedov ?" I added before I could see their face decomposing themselves.

"Dedov....Dedov never actually left the USSR." They replied, sending an feeling of terror and shock in me, Dedov wasn't here with Zasha. "Perseus has, in fact, captured him and the letter of Dedov I had, it wasn't him at all." He continued, making me more sad on my face, holding back my own tears and Zasha too was doing the same. "It was just an trap organized by Perseus...it's been 3 years that I'm alone in here, trying to survive at my best."

"I'm...I'm...I'm sorry, Zasha." I breathed, feeling an tear on my face.

"I don't know how I didn't end my life when I learned that you were dead, that Dedov was captured by Perseus....and that Portnova was never able to come here." They said to me, in the most sadest voice I heard from them. "I've been....surviving alone....for 3 years, Yirina." They added before starting to cry slowly, not moving as I started to move next to their seat.

"We can change that." I told them, putting my hand on theirs. "I need to know : how & why did you start to help the MI5 & the MI6 ?" I asked them.

"Last year, I learned that Perseus was still around...and then, I decided to act on my own, making some travels in England and sending them encrypted transmissions for them to decrypt." They responded, giving me an answer on how they were able to have intels on Perseus. "The first two years....I wasn't able to do an thing."

"Listen, now, I'm working with the MI6 since some weeks." I started, wanting to reassure them. "I've been given an opportunity to redeem myself for what I did." I continued, reflecting to my personal goal I had since I learned the truth on that stretcher. "And for that....I need you to come with me to work with the MI6."

"I...I don't know, Yirina." They said, getting up from their seat to move next to an dresser where an single picture were on : a group picture with....me, them, Dedov, Portnova and even Beans. "I'm maybe fighting Perseus by helping the british but in the inside...."

"I know..." I started again, putting my hand on their shoulder. "I know where's Portnova : still in Moscow." They looked back at me with wide eyes, surprised. "I know that you maybe don't want to go back to Russia but really, I need you."

"You...you need me ?" I nodded to them.

"Zed, you're my friend, I promised to protect you and to fullfill that promise, I need you to stay with me." I fully answered, adding to my nod to them as I looked at the picture. "I promised to protect you all and it's time for me to do it."

"Do you think we can do it ?" They asked and I nodded.

"We are going to do it." I affirmed to them as I could see an smile on their face as an sign of approval. "I wanted to know : did you...did you proposed to Portnova ?" At this moment, they opened an drawer from the dresser, taking an ring with them, meaning an no for me.

"I couldn't do it because I was still shocked by the files we have decrypted." They showed me the ring from up close.

"I think that you need to take it, you might need it." I tapped on their shoulder as an best friend, with an smile on my face. "You want to come ?" They nodded to me.

"If I can see Portnova again....and maybe Dedov." They snorted, looking at the group picture before taking it from it's framing, wanting to take it with them. "We need that for us."

"Yeah." I breathed, approving their idea. "I need you to take everything you want to take and also if you had that....intels about Perseus operations."

"Of course, I will, Yirina." They took a deep breath before they started to walk away to get to another room, getting their things ready. In me, I was feeling so good about having seen Zasha back but also sad about learning of Dedov disappearance. 5 minutes after they left, they came back with an big bags in hands. "Where are we going ?"

"We....well, the team I'm working with has an safehouse....in West-Berlin." I answered, making them look at me with wide eyes. "Yeah, I know, I hate the place too." I added, seeing them rolling their eyes about it.

"Anyway, I know I will be safe." They affirmed before they took their apartment keys in hand from the table just next to them. "Let's go then." They started to walk to the door, leaving the apartment with me behind them.

"Don't worry, I'm staying with you all the time." I reassured them as they were locking the place down.

"Tell me, Yirina." They started as they were finishing to lock the door from outside before they looked with an curious look on their face, knowing that it could be either an serious question or an funny one. "Is the MI6 making a lot of coffee ?" They asked, making me laugh, knowing their love for the coffee.

"Of course, Zed !" I continued to laugh about it as I make some best friends taps on their shoulders as they were also laughing too. I was so happy for them to have an simple laugh just after what I learned and they needed it and me too.....

"I have someone that does them very well !"

[averagesmw]

Penny Haywood x MC- A risk far too great

Game: Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery  

_____________________________

My stay at Hogwarts so far has been... interesting, to say the least

Unwillingly, I became responsible for breaking the horrible curses that came as a result of the Cursed Vaults. All in pursue of my missing brother, Jacob.

Not that I didn't want to save everyone or find my brother, but I didn't know it would be this difficult

However, when we entered the third vault and broke the sleepwalking curse, I thought I was getting the hang of it

...And then came the fourth curse

Not only was it difficult to understand, but this one got quite personal

See, this curse kidnapped students and trapped them inside the various portraits that decorate the school's walls. One of the victims happened to be the first-year Hufflepuff, Beatrice Haywood.

As in, Penny's adorable little sister

That is no way to be introduced to Hogwarts, I should know

But what weighed on me the most was Penny's reaction to this, she was devastated and obviously not the little ray of sunshine I knew and loved

Our adventures together were by far my favorite thing about all these years. We've grown to know each other so well, she even picked me to go with her to a dance

She provided all the happiness that I needed, but now, she was the one that needed happiness

Regardless, it served as a strong motivator to break the curse as soon as possible, which led me to this very moment...

Joined by Merula, Bill, and the new faculty member, Professor Rakepick, I was discussing the next step in our plan to enter the fourth vault. We were in the Courtyard as to not raise any suspicions

However, our plans would soon collide with my personal goals, and not for the better

...

"Now, who shall we take into the Cursed Vault with us?"

Rakepick asked us, making my mind start racing with possibilities

"Well, there are pros and cons to anyone we pick..."

We looked around at the people present in the courtyard. From Badeea to Tonks and even Barnaby, we discussed who could bring more to this table

Eventually, the sight of beautiful, blonde hair caught my attention. There she was, Penny Haywood herself trying her best to go on with her day

Always so resourceful and determined to help others, even now that she was the one that needed the help. Oh, Penny...

It was true that she could help but I...I just couldn't sentence to go into such a place, what if we lose? Or worse...

No, there was no chance I would risk bringing her along this time. I had to find someone else that could assist us

In my mind, I was already narrowing down the best candidates, although I didn't want to put any of them in danger, especially--

"What about Haywood? We could use her potion knowledge"

Merula's voice broke my concentration, I immediately turned to her upon hearing that

"Merula is right, Penny could help us brew a potion if we need it at the vault if we need it"

Bill added. The sole mention of her name in this conversation was enough to send shivers down my spine

I could even feel my breathing getting a bit erratic at this. But before anything else could happen, I threw a quick counter-offer

"B-But what about Charlie? He knows about dragons far more than any of us. W-We could use his knowledge more!"

Merula looked at me strangely. I subtly shook my head to her, telling her to back off on that idea with my eyes filled with worry

She seemed to pick up on this and gave me a subtle nod, putting her hand on her chin

For the last months, Merula and I had grown closer together as well. She might not admit it until earlier today, but we were good friends

In fact, she was likely the only person (besides Rowan) that knew about my umm... My opinion on Penny, hence why she understood my signals so quickly

"Now that you mention, he could help us defeat the dragon first. After he squeals at the sight of it"

For a split second, I felt relieved to have her on my side...then Rakepick talked

"While that is true, I agree that Miss Haywood could help us the most in this case"

She was quick to shoot down the idea, but why? Why send Penny into something so dangerous without even giving her time to prepare!

There was NO way I'd send Penny off like that, not her, especially after everything we've been through

"I don't think that's a good idea, professor. Penny has been quite unstable since the beginning of the year, she won't concentrate"

I responded with the first thing that came to my mind, just desperately trying to change their mind

"Or she could be perfectly motivated to give her best to save her sister"

"Hasn't Penny helped you with the other vaults before, Y/N? She has more experience in dealing with them"

Bill was not helping. Of course Penny tagged along a few times, but mostly when we knew that it wasn't incredibly dangerous like now

It's a dragon we're talking about! Not a Boggart or an Ice Knight

"Bill, we're not bringing her with us"

My friend noticed the sudden change in my tone and looked at me with a confused look

"Why not? Is something wrong with that?"

What!? Of course there was, Bill! You'd have to be blind not to notice!

My worry found a shield in the form of anger, but it was quickly released as I yelled out of pure emotion

"WE'RE NOT SENDING PENNY OUT THERE, THAT'S IT!!"

All three of my allies were taken back by this, even Rakepick. Taking a quick look at the rest of the students that were also there I noticed that they had all shut up and were now staring at me...even her

I couldn't deal with all of those eyes, not at the same time. What was I even supposed to say after such a display?

"I...I have to go. I'll be back for tonight, I promise"

Following what both my heart and mind were screaming me to do, I ran away back to the castle without looking at anyone

The place was awfully silent for a couple of seconds, but the chatter resumed shortly after, only a bit less intense this time

"Was it something I said? I've never seen Y/N have an outburst like that..."

Bill felt guilty, but he didn't even know why. Of course, it was always awful when you made someone react like that without knowing the reason

"Miss Snyde, you said before this conversation that Y/N is your friend, right?"

The teacher caught the attention of Merula, who was still looking at the door

"Yes?..."

"Do you mind explaining what was that all about, then?"

Merula was silent for a moment. She wouldn't tell the exact reason, but she was clever enough to coat it while technically not lying

"Well...I reckon to have one cursed Haywood was too much for L/N, maybe they don't want to get the other one killed. It would stain their pride"

"Y/N has been lacking sleep since this all began, too. They don't want anyone else involved in this" The Weasley added

"You may be right...Do you think you can talk some sense into them?"

Merula then spotted a certain blonde running into the castle, going in the same direction. Under a mask of carelessness, a genuine smile grew

"That won't be necessary, professor"

...

My instinct brought me to the Artifact Room, where I immediately closed the door upon entering and just got to my knees when my body was unable to continue

My hands rested on them as tears started to form on their own, despite my best attempts to stop them

Why was it so hard to understand that Penny was off the table?

Why was it so hard to understand that she was the last one I wanted to get involved?

Just...why?...

I felt my breathing adopt a slightly faster pace, but only for a couple of seconds. I was too busy fighting with my thoughts and just trying to make any sense of it to realize that someone had opened the door

By the time I knew it, someone was handing me down a potion

"Here, drink this"

That voice...

Not wanting her to see me like this, I looked over my shoulder to confirm it. Those beautiful blue eyes, the braided hair, the worry in her face...

I took the potion but didn't open it

"Penny? What's this?"

"It's a calming draught, I always have a spare one just in case"

"That's very considerate of you, b-but really, I'm fine"

Then she placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a sympathetic look

"I heard you scream my name in the courtyard, Y/N. You can trust me"

Of course lying wasn't going to work, I made a mess back there

Reluctantly, I removed the cork and drank the calming draught. Just by feeling it go down my throat, I could feel my thoughts become clearer and my breathing was slowing down on its own

"Thank you..."

I said handing her the potion, but then Penny sat down in front of me, trying to get a better look at me

"Do you want to talk? You know you can trust me, Y/N"

I sighed before nodding slightly. Taking a quick glance at her before immediately trying to look away

Might as well tell her now. This was about her after all

"W-Well...Professor Rakepick says she found a way into the Cursed Vault, it's a portkey that will activate tonight"

Her gasp made me look at her, she was visibly surprised by this

"Tonight? But those are wonderful news!"

"They are. Rakepick says we should take someone else with us, but then everyone started leaning towards you and--"

"I'm in"

Upon hearing this, I felt my heart take the hit, quickly reminding me of what I was fearing just a second ago

Despite being under the influence of that potion, distress was beyond visible

"What? No"

Penny gave me a puzzled look. Never before had I prohibited her to come with me on an adventure

What was particularly concerning was how quick I was to brush her off

"Why not?"

"Penny, it's far too dangerous! Even a bloody dragon will be there"

She picked up on my increasing anguish, but her own emotions were just as strong at the moment

"And yet you're still going, Y/N! That's no justification"

"Yes, because we've been chosen and trained specifically to deal with this! There's no telling what could happen if you go!"

"I want to go, I need to see it for myself when the curse is broken. Plus you could use my help!"

I shook my head in denial. I knew she of all people had a reason to go, but the risk was far too big for a reward that was still uncertain

"There are plenty of ways you can help us from here"

The Hufflepuff was growing frustrated by my attempts at persuading her out of this mission, maybe to the point of getting personal

"Why don't you want me to go? I need to save my sister!"

It hurt to see her so angry at me, but as I felt the effect of the draught vanishing, I too adopted a similar gaze

I felt the hairs on my arms raising once again and the heartbeat increasing, even my face was heating up

"You're too valuable to lose!"

"Oh? And why am I the one who's too valuable? Why isn't it Bill? Or Merula? Or--"

Blood rushing

Tears escaping

Voice raising and suddenly

"BUT I DON'T LOVE THEM LIKE I LOVE YOU, OKAY!?"

Silence

Pure and suffocating silence

It quickly took over the room as soon as my voice stopped echoing through

I myself couldn't help but cover my mouth in shock by what just happened. Not just because I raised my voice against Penny, but because of what I said

Did I really just?...

Oh no

Beyond shocked, I looked at her. She was speechless with her eyes staring at me in disbelief

"You do?..."

"I have to get out of--"

Once again, I tried to run from it, but it didn't work. My arm was stopped by her hand and her startled voice

"N-No, it's okay! Really"

I turned around to see her yet again, not able to even think of a word for her. For sure she would turn me down, or worse

But her smile, that gentle, warm smile was there. The same one she showed me whenever we were goofing around or brewing something together

It was there

And so was that soft gaze she had whenever I had done something stupid and she was trying to help me like...well... right now

But this time, it hit different

"I want to hear it from you, Y/N. Please" Her sweet voice practically begging for me to stay. I didn't find myself to be strong enough to deny her request

And so, against everything my mind told me, I stayed behind, with Penny

She asked me to carry on with what I said before trying to escape. Sighing, I complied

I figured that it could help her understand why I didn't want her to go, but also...I think I owed her an explanation for well, everything

I gathered my strength until finally, words started to come out

"The truth is that I...I fancy you, Penny. I've done it for quite a while now and not only am I doing this to dave Bea and the others who fell victim to this curse"

My eyes, while looking down at first, were now focused on her. I didn't care if she saw how bad I looked at the moment, I was talking straight out of my heart, throwing myself in the void and hoping for the best

"...I do it because I can't stand to see you so depressed, it breaks my heart"

"Y/N..." The sole mention of my name by her was almost enough for me to back off, almost

But she needed to know

"If I can't see you like this, imagine how I felt when everyone started leaning towards you to follow us into the vault. I can't bear the thought of something bad happening to you"

Before I knew it, Penny wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug as she hid her forehead in my shoulders. At first, I couldn't believe it, I just stood there with her warmth and allowed that familiar feeling of security and care wash over me

A heavy, broken breath left my body, felt like a weight had been pulled off

At least until I heard her voice again, still buried in my shoulder

"...If I go to the Cursed Vault, would you be by my side?"

That question caught me off-guard, making me end the embrace to look at her. Although I think I heard her protest this

"Of course I would. I wouldn't leave you to yourself" I answered almost automatically

"Then I have nothing to fear"

The way she smiled after saying that, was disconcerting

"Penny..."

"I'm going to trust you with a secret of mine, one that I've never told anyone before"

She motioned me to come closer, which I did. It took her a bit to talk, seems as if this was a heavy subject for her as well

"It's bad enough to have my sister trapped in a portrait like that, it's horrible"

Penny was the one to sigh after that, her fists clenching as well before those blue orbs of her stared me down

"...But it's even worse to see the one I love risk their life for all of us every single year. I can only pray that you come back in one piece and so far you have"

The one she...what?...

Now I was speechless. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink when she noticed my reaction, but it didn't take long for a small smile to return to her

"This time, I want to help you the way you've helped us. It doesn't matter if it's an Ice knight, an Acromantula, or a bunch of Bogarts..."

Then, I felt something reaching out for my hand, it was hers

This gesture provoked our eyes to meet one last time

"As long as we are together. There is no such thing as an impossible challenge"

The determination in her, so familiar. Now I understood what Dumbledoremust've felt when I ignored his pleas for me to stop chasing the vaults

"And when we return from this, we'll talk. I promise"

What came after was still something that I'm struggling to process

Penny pulled me towards her a little and then closed the distance herself, leaning in towards me. I felt a pair of soft, tender lips kissing my cheek

"Thank you for opening up to me. I mean it"

There was no butterbeer or oversized sandwiches that could persuade the blonde to leave this mission, I understood that now. She would get to experience the end of this  curse herself

And as we stood along with Bill, Merula, Rakepick, and even Ben, I made my new mission to protect her from whatever lurked inside that vault

But as we approached the portkey and her hand wouldn't leave mine, I understood that even in the face of incredible danger...

...She too, would have my back

[syntaxeme]

One Good Turn ch. 4

[Read on AO3] | [First Chapter] | [Next Chapter] Rating: T  Story summary: Angel’s clean streak is broken when Val forcibly calls him back to the studio. On principle (and not at all out of concern for Angel's wellbeing), Alastor takes it upon himself to free Angel from Valentino's control. But what started as a simple favor becomes something much more complicated, all because of an innocent thank-you kiss.

— — – 

Angel was right to think that Valentino wouldn’t be long in asking after him. The following day, Charlie welcomed Angel back with open arms and tears of joy. The mood throughout the entire hotel improved with his presence, in fact, from the staff to the guests to Angel himself. He seemed very pleased to be back, while the others—Alastor included—were delighted to have him. Yet in the midst of their happy reunion, there was an undercurrent of nervous anticipation, and only a few of them knew why.

After roughly five days of waiting, another large and intimidating demon, different from the last, came knocking. This time, however, Alastor was waiting in the lobby to greet him, having relieved Husker of his duties for the moment. “Good afternoon, my friend,” he called cheerfully from the bar. “Are you here to reserve a room for yourself? For a friend, perhaps? We’re happy to accommodate—”

“Can it, Radio,” the other demon growled.

“—whatever needs you might have,” he concluded. “Well, if that isn’t why you’re here, what can I do for you?”

“I’m lookin’ for Angel. Where is he?”

“Angel? Hmmm, Angel…” Alastor pursed his lips, leaning forward against the bar and drumming his fingers along it rhythmically. He materialized the hotel’s registry in front of him and flipped through the pages too quickly to read them. “You know, I’m not sure who you mean. That name doesn’t appear in our records. Could you give me a more detailed description? I hate to be unhelpful.”

“Look, I’m not in the mood for any of your fuckin’ games. Tell me where I can find Angel Dust. Boss knows he’s here. The longer you keep him from goin’ back, the more pissed Val’s gonna get.”

“I see. Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Alastor said, nodding, sweeping out from behind the bar to meet the visitor. “Maybe I should go and have a chat with Valentino to avoid any misunderstandings.”

“No deal. I’m here for Angel, and I ain’t leavin’ without him.”

“Are you sure? I really think”—there was a burst of static, Alastor’s voice distorting slightly as he gestured toward the door—“this is the best option for everyone. Yourself included. Now, I try not to make assumptions about the feelings of others, but I can promise you, if you refuse to take me to Valentino, you will regret it.”

“Uh.” The crony took a step back, his eyes widening as the room darkened further and further. He must have recognized just how serious Alastor was about this. “All right, all right, just come with me. If you wanna be the one to break the news, be my guest.”

“Why, it would be my utmost pleasure!” the Radio Demon agreed, congenial once again now that he was getting his way. He followed Valentino’s employee out to the limo, which was empty this time. They rode in utter silence, Alastor observing through the window and considering all the various ways Valentino might take the news he had to present. Plenty of possibilities, plenty of options. Of course, it would be simplest if he could talk his way through the disagreement without needing to resort to violence, but then…

Then he recalled the tears in Angel’s eyes those few nights ago, how terrified he was of being touched, how disgusted he sounded when talking about Vox and his men…and he wondered if perhaps a little violence wasn’t in order. Angel wasn’t likely to get revenge himself, but his suffering still deserved to be repaid to the ones who had caused it. Something to think about, at least.

The studio, when they reached it, wasn’t the sort of place Alastor would’ve spent his time willfully. Visual media. Flat facts, no imagination, what a bore. The demon who had driven him there tried to take him up the elevator, but he slapped the man’s hands away from the buttons and entered the car alone with a smile and a grateful bow.

When he reached the top floor and stepped out into Valentino’s lounge, the pimp was waiting sprawled on a velvet-upholstered couch. The look on his face said he’d already been informed in the change of plans regarding his guest. It wasn’t a pleased or welcoming expression by any means.

“Radio,” Valentino said simply. “I knew somethin’ was keepin’ Angel at that shithole of a hotel, but I didn’t figure it’d be somethin’ like you.”

“Well, I do try my best to do the unexpected. To be clear, though, I haven’t been ‘keeping’ anyone anywhere,” he replied, absently twirling his staff through his fingers as he wandered the room. The view from this height was quite impressive—as impressive as Pentagram City could be, that is. “Angel has expressed an interest in staying at the hotel, so I thought I might do you the favor of explaining why.”

“As if you understand anything about him,” Valentino sneered. “You met him, what, a couple months ago? You don’t fuckin’ know him.”

“Not as well as you do, I’m sure. But I also have no interest in leading him to feel or think any particular way. I’m told that’s an area where you and I differ.”

“Then why’re you comin’ here to speak for him? There a reason he couldn’t tell me all this himself?”

“There is! And I’m sure you’re well aware of it,” Alastor said, coming back to stand in front of the couch, hands folded at his back. “After all, you’ve been using it to manipulate him for years, haven’t you? Any time he began to argue with your orders, any time he fought you for his freedom, you subdued him with a show of force that you know he can’t resist. If he were to come here, you would do the same thing yet again. Am I wrong?”

“Must be real easy to stand there and run your mouth about shit you don’t understand.” Valentino’s long fingers tapped slowly along the arm of the couch. “But it sounds like you two’ve spent a while chattin’ about it. He tell you about all the times I got his junkie ass outta trouble? All the times he came crawlin’ back to me when he couldn’t make it on his own? Nah, I bet he painted this big sad picture for ya where I’m the bad guy and he’s never done a thing wrong in his life. That’s what I mean when I say ya don’t know him. You don’t even realize when you’re bein’ played.”

“He didn’t ask me to come here,” Alastor pointed out. “In fact, he asked me not to. His fear of you is so powerful it extends even to others he cares about outside of himself.”

In an instant, Valentino was on his feet, bearing down on Alastor menacingly but not enough to make him back down. “People he ‘cares about’?” he growled. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? You’ve been screwin’ him, haven’t you? You’re the reason he thinks he doesn’t need me anymore.”

Alastor tossed his head back and laughed aloud. “My good man, you are wrong on every possible count. Well, other than Angel realizing that he doesn’t need you. That, he has.” A feather or a tuft of fur from Valentino’s coat floated down to rest on his shoulder, and he brushed it off casually. “No, I’ve been doing nothing of the sort. But he’s made it clear to me that you are not what he wants for his future. So I’m here to make it clear that you will not be a part of his future.”

After a moment of exchanging silent glares, Valentino let out a laugh without ever smiling. “You really think you’re hot shit, don’t ya? You think you can waltz into my place of business and tell me what I can or can’t do with my own property?”

“I sincerely hope you’re not referring to Angel Dust as ‘property.’” Despite all the windows in the room and the fact that the sun was still up, shadows began to slowly gather in the corners and edge toward him. “I’ve come to think of him as a friend, you see, and I don’t much appreciate my friends being insulted.”

“A friend. I just bet,” Valentino scoffed.

“Why else would I have come here in his defense?”

“You tell me, Radio. Vox says you ain’t interested in sex. Not really. Nobody knows what the fuck you’re interested in. But you obviously have some kinda investment in Angel. So what is it about him you like so much?”

The sound of his rival’s name made Alastor’s smile edge into a sneer, and he made no effort at forcing it back into something congenial. “As much as I appreciate your efforts to understand me, I’m afraid I just don’t have the time or will to explain myself to someone like you. Kindly give me your word that you’ll allow Angel to live his own life free from your interference, and I’ll leave you to continue your distasteful business in peace.” He offered his hand, ready to seal the deal and be done with this conversation before being forced to examine his own motivations too closely—but Valentino refused to cooperate.

“And if I don’t?” He raised his head, jutting his chin out defiantly. “If I tell you none of your petty threats or parlor tricks are gonna work on me and I’m not lettin’ Angel go for all the hookers in Hell? Then what?”

Alastor took a slow, deep breath, his mouth twisting into a disappointed grimace as he rested the end of his staff on the ground and ran his free hand through his hair. “If you were to say that, I would be distraught. I did tell him I would try to resolve this peacefully. That being said…” He tapped his staff once, and the shadows that had been slowly creeping closer suddenly shot forward to shackle Valentino’s wrists, yanking down sharply and forcing him to his knees. Not bothering to pretend he wasn’t enjoying this, Alastor went on, “I also told him that if you forced the issue, I had no qualms about forcing your acquiesce. So here we are.”

“You fuckin’ piece of garbage.” Valentino thrashed, and his physical strength was surprising, almost shocking in that it nearly broke the shadows’ hold on him. Nearly. As he was dragged back down, he growled, “Say what you want, but I know you’re tryna keep him for yourself. You think you can take what belongs to me and get away with it? I was the one takin’ care of him. I was the only reason he made it as far as he did. Whatever I wanted as payback, I deserved. If he thinks he can—” Another shadow tendril snaked around his throat to cut off his voice as Alastor grew tired of his excuses.

“I appreciate your dedication to your principles,” he said, starting to stroll thoughtfully back and forth just a few feet from where Valentino was bound. “There’s something to be said for a man who really sticks to his guns, even if your particular guns are objectively repugnant. Now, do you have any sort of formal deal with Angel that details him as your ‘property’?”

“You got me curious now,” Valentino answered, ignoring the question. “You gotta know who I am. You know what kinda trouble fuckin’ with me is gonna get you into. But you’re doin’ it anyway, for his sake. With your reputation, it just doesn’t make sense. But Angie’s got his hooks in you deep, I can tell.”

“A contract? A verbal agreement?” Alastor suggested, not bothering to respond to the other demon’s musing. “Something regarding his career, maybe? What will it take to sever your hold on him once and for all?”

“It ain’t like this’s never happened before, y’know.” Valentino had stopped fighting his bonds altogether, simply sitting still on the ground and watching Alastor thoughtfully, his voice turned smooth and calm. “He does this to people. Sometimes it’s the guys he shoots with. Sometimes it’s fans or clients. They spend a little too much time with him and start gettin’ the idea there’s more to it than sex. I’ll tell you the same thing I tell them: whatever Angel says, whatever little pity games he wants to play, he likes the work I have him doin’.”

“He gives a very different impression.”

“Sure he does. That’s part of the game. He likes havin’ some power to play with, seein’ how far he can get a man to go for his sake. Or maybe he just likes seein’ me kill his drooling puppy-love dickheads over and over to keep him to myself. Who knows what goes on in his head? But you’ve known him a little while. You’ve seen how he acts. You think I taught him to be like that?” Valentino let out a cold laugh. “Nah. He was a slut before he ever met me.”

Alastor’s smile was distinctly pained at this point, his face reddening with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify. “I don’t see what any of that has to do with this conversation.”

“The point is he doesn’t want out. He just wants control over somethin’. Doesn’t that bother you? Doesn’t it piss you off to think he’s usin’ you?” With a growing smirk, he went on, “Doesn’t it make ya wanna punish him? Bring him back here for me and I’ll let you.”

Horrified, the Radio Demon reeled back a step as static started to build in his ears. “Excuse me?”

“Hey, it doesn’t hafta be sexual; however you wanna do it’s up to you.” Valentino was practically salivating at the thought, grinning ear-to-ear. “I’ll even make it so he won’t fight back. Do whatever ya want with him, teach him not to fuck with an Overlord. Your thing is audio, right? Well that voice of his sounds even better when he’s screaming—”

Alastor’s fist closed abruptly, and the shadow around Valentino’s neck tightened, jerking downward to slam his face into the cold tile floor. All sound in the room had been drowned in squealing, buzzing static, betraying how utterly livid he was. That was what Angel had noted in relation to Vox. What’s the point if I don’t scream, right? The thought of being compared to that odious cretin in any aspect was enough to boil his blood, but it was especially insulting to suggest his cooperation might be so easily bought with the promise of carnal pleasure, as if he had no more significant motivation.

“I hate to interrupt while you’re clearly enjoying this subject so much”—he spoke over (or under) the static without trying to subdue it—“but I think we’ve gotten a little off-topic. I was asking you whether there are any official deals binding Angel to you. And you were going to tell me so that I could end them. Yes?” Placing his mic under Valentino’s chin to force his head up, he took slight satisfaction in seeing that the pimp’s kitschy heart-shaped sunglasses were now cracked. Better yet, there was no trace of a smile on his face.

“Motherfucker,” Valentino grumbled, sitting up as well as he could. As the tendril around his neck slowly coiled tighter and tighter and Alastor was debating whether it might be safest to simply kill him now and be done with it, he choked out, “No, all right? It’s nothin’…like that. It’s just understood.”

“Then I’ll need you to revise your understanding.” He knelt to be eye-level with his opposition and ordered, “Tell me you and yours won’t approach Angel Dust or coerce him into anything again. Promise me that, and the most you might lose is some revenue. Refuse, and I’ll make it my mission to prove exactly how much more you have to lose.” The white noise had pitched higher and higher to an ear-splitting level, but Alastor didn’t so much as blink as he waited for an answer.

After several moments of stubborn, cringing silence, Valentino finally broke down. “Fine!” he snarled. “I won’t come get him. I won’t make him leave your little freak show. But you need to know he is gonna come back to me, just like he always does, and when it happens, I’m not lettin’ him outta my sight again.”

The screeching static dissipated all at once as Alastor got to his feet again. “Considering how unlikely that condition is, I’ll accept it. I’m glad we could finally come to an agreement.” The shadows released their hold on Valentino and slipped away into the corners of the room again, all returning to its proper state before his arrival. He offered his hand to make the deal official, not at all concerned about Valentino attacking him; even if he tried, it had already been proven which of them was stronger.

Begrudgingly shaking his hand, just once, Valentino growled, “Now get the fuck outta my studio.”

“Oh, with pleasure! I wouldn’t spend a moment longer here than necessary,” Alastor agreed, already heading for the elevator and humming happily to himself. All things considered, those negotiations had gone quite well.

…

It took some time for him to get back to the hotel, as he was forced to walk this time. By the time he reached the lobby, the sun was already setting. Inside, Husker was leaning against the bar and watching an uncharacteristically anxious Angel pace back and forth in front of it, while Charlie waited with her arms crossed. When they caught sight of him, Charlie and Angel rushed over to meet him immediately.

“Al! Where the hell’ve you been?” Angel demanded, looking him over as if to be sure he wasn’t hiding some sort of injury.

“You left the front desk empty too,” Charlie added with a pout. “I mean, no one came in while you were gone, but what if they had?”

“I apologize for the sudden disappearance; there was some business I needed to attend across town. But now that it’s taken care of, I’m back and able to give the hotel my full attention,” he assured Charlie. “If you need anything at all, remember I’m just a call away. In the meantime: Angel. Could I have a word?” With this, he headed toward the stairwell, certain Angel would follow—which he did.

“Niffty said she saw Val’s car out front earlier,” he explained once they were alone and working their way toward the third floor, where Alastor’s room was located. “Is that where you were?”

“Well, I was only in the car for a short period,” the Radio Demon teased. “Most of my time away was spent in Valentino’s lounge. Nicely decorated, that place, if a bit gaudy for my taste.”

“So you talked to him? What’d you say? What’d he say?”

“Surely you don’t expect me to repeat it all word-for-word,” he chuckled. “Maybe I should’ve been recording it for you, if you’re so interested.”

“Alastor, seriously.” Angel didn’t try to touch him this time, instead moving to block his path on the stairs. “What happened?”

“We had a discussion. Like gentlemen,” Alastor said, folding his hands behind his back. “It took some persuading on my part, but he agreed not to pursue you any further. As long as you don’t go back to the studio of your own free will, you shouldn’t have to deal with him again.”

“Wait, so that’s just it? It was that simple?”

“Not quite, but those are the most important details.” Remembering the deal Valentino had tried to make with him, the offer of torturing or otherwise ‘punishing’ Angel still sent an uncomfortable chill down his spine—but he was well aware that hearing all that wouldn’t do Angel any good. “I figured you would want to know, so you can stop worrying every day that you’re going to be called back to him. It won’t happen.” I’ll make sure of that. As he moved to continue up the stairs, Angel spoke again.

“So what d’you want?”

“Want?” Alastor repeated, pausing to glance back at him.

“Yeah. I mean, if you’re for real about this, you just did me a pretty huge fuckin’ favor,” Angel pointed out. “Nobody down here does shit for anyone else without expectin’ somethin’ in return. I know you like your bets and deals and all. So tell me what ya want.”

That was all very fair logic. Alastor did very much enjoy making deals, often the sort that weren’t exactly as they seemed, and collecting favors from those he worked with. It was true he’d taken quite a risk in threatening Valentino, and it made sense that he should want to be repaid. Yet he hadn’t been thinking of it that way up to this point.

“What I did today wasn’t entirely selfless. While I am glad to know you’ll be free to make your own choices, I also wanted to keep you here with us. Er, to give you that option. If that’s what you want. Of course you’re free to leave if you prefer,” he added, not wanting to liken himself to Valentino in that way. “Point being: you don’t owe me anything, cher. I’m satisfied with knowing you won’t be abducted by some third party.”

Angel didn’t respond for a moment. When he did, it wasn’t in the way Alastor expected. Because Alastor was a step or two higher than him at the moment, their heights were roughly equal, which made it simple enough for Angel to lean forward and kiss him. For once, his buzzing static went completely silent, and his eyes widened further as gloved hands slid into his hair on either side of his head. It was a simple, lingering kiss, just light pressure and warmth—but before he drew away, Angel did lick his lips once, softly, briefly.

“Hmm.” As he stepped back, fingertips trailing down the Radio Demon’s cheek, Angel wore a playful, self-satisfied smirk. “Lemme know if ya change your mind about that.” And he left to head back down the stairs, most likely to take the elevator up to his room.

Alastor remained very still, hands clenched at his sides as he tried to understand exactly what had just happened and how he felt about it. While it was true he’d never had much interest in sex, this was something rather different and not altogether unpleasant. Maybe… Maybe he did want something from Angel. But he wouldn’t ask for it. He refused to prove Valentino right in his theory that Alastor had only freed Angel in order to claim him for himself—though that word, ‘claim,’ and all it implied did make him shiver with intrigue.

No. He would not be what Valentino was, what Vox was, what Angel expected of every man he encountered. He wouldn’t insist that he needed no repayment, then immediately prove himself a liar with the slightest temptation. That being said, if Angel were to offer again…Alastor might have some difficulty refusing.

[olympus-summit]

Caught in the middle | Mina | Trial 4.4 | RE: too much (this is too long)

Mina truthfully wasn't even looking when Elliot suddenly approached her (even after everything she said) and tried to wrap her in a hug. Had she not been a sobbing mess she isn't sure if she would have pushed him away here, but for now she doesn't. The most Mina does in response, physically, is grab the front of Elliot's shirt for those few seconds.

What made this all hurt was that she still cared about him so much, but the whiplash this caused prevented her from making that more obvious. She was still more than in the right to be mad she realized, also.

"I-I can't believe that right now, Elliot." But I want to. "You h-have. All of us, Elliot. I know what you said-" through a hiccup she makes direct eye contact with him, "N-None of this is okay. It's not right now." It never has been on this ship.

During her pause she shakes her head, feeling him slip the drachma to her and letting go. She tries (and fails) to get a read on the Moirai at his request before looking back to him.

"...I don't want to see you die." she finally decides on, "I-I don't want to see anyone die b-but- But you can't even confirm if your gamble is going to pay off in the way you want it to. It could be me, or Evren, o-or Leland, or Menai... They might not listen to you."

She isn't sure how she would feel if they did, really.

That was the worst part about it, wasn't it? She had been sparing glances to Rei but, while she agreed on the assessment, she would prefer the girl to defend herself. Truthfully, whoever had killed for this was someone Mina was bound to sympathize with. However, this whole scenario felt like a slap in the face of what trust she had built up with the three huddled together.

As much as she wishes she could join them, she can't. She won't. However, she wouldn't let them take the full brunt of Sol's anger unchecked.

"Sol. Y-You're not an authority here. Stop."

Granted her words are far less compelling when she was still reeling from everything, but certain things stuck out to her in all of that.

"W-We're allowed to be angry. Unlike last time, someone here put all of our lives on the line. I-I can sympathize with whoever could succumb to a motive like this but... saying you plan to see Elliot die beyond the Summit, if he even lives, i-isn't right either. If you're going to say that, then stop acting holier-than-thou t-to all of us."

"T-This shouldn't become a competition to see who's the 'best' and 'worst' among us, o-or even who's the most justified in their actions, but you're not above it. A-At all!"

Her eyes briefly dart between Leland and Adelina, neither of whom held her in high regards. What she was saying here would probably only make it worse but-

"I-I'm not saying that I could never do what Elliot did... b-but it still hurts, Leland? I-It was still praying on the fact that I care about Elliot a-and he... he did use that against me and everyone else, w-whether he meant to or not." her voice softens more when speaking to the Tailor, having far less of an issue with him than his partner at current.

"I'm... allowed to be upset that he's done this. I'm allowed to be upset that Elliot is trying to sacrifice himself because h-he is- he was(?) a friend of mine and that makes me upset. I-I don't think Elliot's terrible, at all, but this decision affects everyone now. A-As much as I don't like Them," Sol and Adelina, "t-they're also entitled to be angry, because their lives may be on the line. We have no real way of knowing if The Moirai will take Elliot's request until it happens. I-I don't want to lose him either b-but-" she shakes her head, losing her train of thought.

Mina hates it here.

"R-Reacting poorly to the 'killing game' that threatened the people we love most and is constantly trying to bring out the worst in us doesn't make Elliot and the person he's protecting evil people. M-Maybe not good people in this moment, but I digress." She looks back to Sol and Adelina.

"I'm furious too. Dr.Rivera. I-I think you're entitled to your anger given what you did for him during the Secrets Motive. I don't think I-I'll be able to forgive Elliot, a-at least not right now. You don't have to either. I'm not condemning either of you for that. I would never..."

"But, y-you both need to stop talking about all of us in absolutes without being self aware. Y-You specifically, Sol, have done that to me and many other people on this ship; calling us the scum of the Earth without knowing everything. All I see you do is pass blanket, ignorant judgements on situations you barely understand. I-I'm only bringing this up now because you just did it again, n-not because you don't have any point. I-I agree with you to a certain extent but I-I think it's ridiculous to threaten to tie people up and see them executed on false charges if they live beyond this Summit. I-I'm sure my one bad decision invalidates any point I-I try to make to you, but that's how I feel about that."

Truthfully, Mina can't remember the last time her throat had been left so hoarse or her face this shade of scarlet. Her tears had slowed to a more manageable rate but they still shook her and her words down to the core.

"Y-You made a huge leap in logic on Elliot's motives outside of this instance a-and I think you're wrong on that. Elliot's false conviction matters, but his entire person isn't summed up or made worthless with this one terrible, poorly-thought out decision."

"Any of us who feel used or betrayed a-are allowed to, I-I think. The reason why I said I felt disposable is because Elliot was willing to gamble our lives -- my life -- on this. I don't I think he befriended me only in his "grand scheme" to possibly throw me away later. I know he didn't do that. S-Still, this all just makes me feel like I don't matter b-because I'm a casualty that can be afforded. I don't think he's the devil incarnate, just-... I don't know. Given that Menai and Leland are also facing death, I think they can feel however they want..." 

Your trauma, your emotions! The roboticist sighs, burying her face in her hands.

"R-Regardless, if I'm dead then I guess I can't stop you. Either way, I think tying someone here up in chains and ropes is a terrible idea."

Even when she's on the same side as them, it doesn't seem like Mina will ever agree with those two. Though, that didn't mean she agreed with her friends either. It's a lonely place to be.

[mdelpin]

I Take Pride In What I Am 2019 Prompt: “But I’m sick of hiding my heart” Pairing: Natsu x Gray

First Part

Natsu arrived at the guild early the next morning grabbing the first job he saw that sounded like it would be far away and would give him the biggest chance to fight monsters. He didn’t bother to look at any of the details. His mind was still reeling from the events of the night before. He wanted to get away from any chance of possibly running into Gray for the foreseeable future. At least until he could figure out what the hell was happening.

He showed Mira the request, waiting to be given approval and immediately scowling when it wasn’t forthcoming.

“I can’t let you take this job alone,” Mira protested, “It’s too dangerous, I’d feel more comfortable if you took someone like Gray with you.”

“Hell no!” Natsu crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I don’t need that stripper’s help.”

“Well if not him, then Lucy or Erza.” Mira insisted.

“I’ll go,” Both mages jumped surprised to hear Loke offer to go on a job.

“Loke?” Mira studied the Celestial Spirit carefully, “Doesn’t Lucy need you?”

“She’ll be fine without me for a day or two,” Loke waved away Mira’s protests, “Besides, I’m still a Fairy Tail wizard and I haven’t gone on a job in ages. So how about it, matchstick?”

Natsu couldn’t really understand why Loke would want to come along, they’d never been particularly close but he was a good fighter and if he had an ulterior motive Natsu couldn’t think of what it was. He relaxed and decided he didn’t care as long as he could get out of Magnolia before Gray got to the guild. “Suit yourself.”

“I guess it’s alright as long as Natsu is fine with it,” Mira agreed grudgingly, not entirely sure what Loke might be up to, but seeing no good reason to deny his request.

“Great!” Loke cheered and as they began to walk out of the guild he asked, “Isn’t Happy coming along?”

“No, I’d been hoping to go alone.”

“I see,” Loke smiled internally, having a good idea what was bothering the dragon slayer but knowing better than to bring it up too soon, “Something on your mind?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Natsu snapped.

“Where are we going anyway?” Loke asked and Natsu showed him the job request.

They made their way towards the train station, Natsu itching for a fight and Loke being annoyingly agreeable.

Xxx

Gray woke up nursing the worst hangover he’d ever experienced in his life. All he’d done was move his head and now his stomach was rebelling and his mouth felt like it was covered in sand. But that was nothing compared to the feeling that someone was stabbing his head with a knife. He sat up slowly, cradling his head between his hands. He couldn’t stop himself from groaning out loud.

“Not feeling so good, huh?” Cana shoved a glass in his face that smelled surprisingly of the thing that got him there.

“No more vodka,” Gray groaned again as he shoved the glass away from his nose, “How can you be drinking already?”

“The best way to get over a hangover,” Cana shrugged, drinking the contents of the glass when Gray refused it again.

“I need to go find Natsu,” Gray moaned as he got up from his couch where it appeared he had passed out the previous night.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be so eager,” Cana mused, watching him with slight concern.

“I’m not, I just want him to knock me out so I don’t have to feel like this any longer.”

Cana chuckled, “Let’s get you some food and then we can figure out what you should do.”

“I already feel sick, don’t you think it’s cruel to feed me your gruel?”

“Oy! I know I should be insulted but you’re probably right,” Cana mused good-naturedly, “Are you up to going to the guild?”

Gray sighed, “I’m going to have to go there eventually. Let me just take a shower.”

Twenty minutes later Cana and Gray left his apartment and headed for the Fairy Tail Guild.

Xxx

“So Gray kissed you last night, huh?” Loke had waited until the train had already started moving to bring up the topic, knowing Natsu would be at his most vulnerable.

The smirk on his face was enough to make Natsu want to punch him into next week but he was too weak from motion sickness to do so, so he attacked the only way he was able. He emptied the contents of his stomach all over Loke’s impeccable suit, wiping the smirk off the Celestial Spirit’s face and replacing it with a look of disgust.

“You could have just said you didn’t want to talk about it you know,” Loke complained, frustrated when Natsu remained silent, although he could have sworn the fire mage was smiling in between moans.

Xxx

“How are you feeling, Gray?” Mira asked as she watched the ice mage sit on a stool wearing sunglasses.

“I may never drink again,” Gray replied seriously.

“Well here’s some ice water, I’ll go make you some breakfast.”

Gray thanked her and looked around the guild to see who was around. He saw no sign of any of his teammates and as much as he didn’t want to appear desperate he also really needed to know how Natsu was doing so when Mira returned with his food he had to ask.

“So, uhm, by any chance has Natsu been by this morning?” He asked as nonchalantly as he could manage.

“Natsu?” Mira grinned knowingly, “Oh yes, he went off on a job with Loke.”

“That’s a funny way to say Lucy, for a moment there I thought you said Loke,” Gray laughed uncomfortably, hoping against hope that he’d heard Mira wrong.

“That’s because I did say Loke,” Mira smiled up at him, innocence in her smile but a devilish glint shining in her eyes.

“Huh. Hey Mira?” Gray lay his head down on the bar knowing that if things hadn’t been bad before he was now truly and completely fucked, “Can I go ahead and have a drink now?”

Mira tried to stifle a laugh as she and Cana shared a knowing look. She poured Gray a drink and handed it over and he downed it quickly. He was about to order another when he heard the door burst open as Erza walked in screaming his name.

His headache protested but he knew better than to say anything, he just waved at his red-headed friend. She immediately charged in his direction.

“Did you defile Natsu in the guild last night?” Erza demanded loudly.

“What?! Of course not!” Gray yelled out in indignation, quickly looking to make sure no one was around before whimpering as his head throbbed, “Who the hell told you that?”

“It’s all over Fairy Hills.” Erza explained, “Juvia won’t leave her room, I left Lucy with her to try to calm her down.”

Oh yes, this day was just getting better and better.

“Well, then what did happen?” Erza stood over him, the intensity of her glare not even remotely dimmed through his sunglasses, her fingers twitched, itching to requip a weapon but attempting to exert self-control.

Gray looked down at the floor and mumbled nervously, ”I may have kissed him, and told him I was in love with him while incredibly drunk.”

Now Gray knew how protective Erza was of Natsu. She had taught him to read and write and since then she’d proclaimed herself his big sister much like Natsu had done to Wendy. Gray was fully expecting Erza to come at him when she learned he’d touched Natsu in any way that was not part of a fight, so he was surprised when she didn’t immediately attack him after his confession.

He waited as she studied him seriously before suddenly and quite unexpectedly erupting into loud guffaws quite unlike anything he’d heard from her before. After a few minutes spent holding her belly and wiping away tears, she finally calmed down.

“Are you done?” Gray, who had not found her reaction amusing in any way, groused at his friend.

“I’m sorry,” Erza replied not looking remorseful at all. “Well, how did he take it?”

“He turned away and ran out of the guild.”

“Well, you didn’t pick a great day for it, did you?,” Erza pointed out while ordering a slice of strawberry cake and motioning for Gray to follow her to their team’s table.

“I wasn’t exactly planning on it,” Gray snapped before softening his tone as he remembered who he was talking to, “It just sort of happened.”

“Take off those ridiculous glasses, it’s not that bright in here,” Erza grabbed the sunglasses off the bridge of his nose and placed them on the table before smiling at him. “That’s better.”

Mira came by with Erza’s cake and sat down next to Gray, while Cana sat on his other side, wine glass in hand. Gray found himself surrounded by three of the most terrifying women in the guild who seemed intent to either make fun of him or help him with his fledgling love life, he couldn’t quite make out which.

“Now tell us all about it,” Erza demanded, her tone bossy.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Gray muttered under his breath.

Mira put her hand over his and said kindly, “Try us, when did this start?”

“I don’t know, a while ago, but after Galuna I was sure.” Gray rubbed his temple trying to will his headache away. It was hard to have a serious conversation with the constant pounding in his head.

Erza smiled, “I guess I can see that, it was a very emotional time for the two of you. What are you planning to do about Juvia?”

“I can only handle one headache at a time, Erza.”

Cana snorted, “I think the more important question is what are you going to do now? Natsu is not exactly the easiest person to talk to about anything serious.”

Gray groaned, “Based on what Mira said he’s avoiding me, which means he doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You don’t know that for a fact,” Erza reminded him, “Natsu has a hard time with feelings, and July 7th is a hard day for him. You literally couldn’t have picked a worse day to hit him with this.”

“I’ve already told you,” Cana reminded him, “Give him time to figure it out, he might surprise you.”

“And Loke is probably trying to help your case as we speak,” Mira giggled into her hand.

“Loke?” Erza asked with interest.

“He went out on a job with Natsu,” Mira informed her girlfriend.

Erza tried her best not to laugh, not wanting to make Gray feel any worse, but Cana had no such qualms. Her laughter rang out next to Gray’s ear making him so annoyed you could see a vein bulging in his forehead.

“You know what? Fuck it,” Gray decided, “I’m glad I told him, whatever happens, happens but I’m sick of hiding my heart from him.”

“That’s the Gray I know,” Erza encouraged him proudly, “You’ll have a fight and you’ll sort it out.”

“I’m surprised you’re taking this so well,” Gray puzzled, “I was sort of expecting you to be mad.”

“Oh, we’re not done by a long shot,” Erza assured him, her aura once again turning dark, “If you start dating Natsu, we’re going to have a talk.”

Gray gulped, okay at least things were normal there. They spent the rest of the afternoon trying to help him come up with ways to talk to Natsu once he was ready. He was feeling a bit better when the door burst open and Loke entered carrying Natsu in his arms.

Both were bickering and Gray was able to see that Natsu was bleeding severely.

He and Erza both got up and rushed over to their teammate although they quickly moved back when they got a good whiff of Loke’s clothes.

“What happened?” Erza barked at Loke who looked decidedly nervous.

“N-nothing,” He stuttered, having been on the receiving end of Erza’s anger several times before.

“Nothing, my ass,” Natsu hollered, “He wouldn’t stop talking about the Ice Prick, we got ambushed by the mages that were controlling the monsters we were sent to destroy.”

Loke tried to meet Gray’s eyes but the ice mage only looked away, angry that he’d been responsible for Natsu getting hurt unnecessarily.

Meanwhile, Natsu was trying to avoid his gaze which was not exactly giving him the warm fuzzies, even though he understood.

Gray figured it was best if he found an excuse to leave the guild so Natsu could be more comfortable. “Loke, take Natsu to the infirmary, I’ll go find Wendy. And for Mavis sake, change your clothes, you reek.”

Loke looked miserable but he did as he was told, carrying Natsu up the stairs with Mira and Erza following.

Gray walked over to Fairy Hills, looking for the youngest dragon slayer. He knocked on the door and waited for the dorm mother to answer, but to his chagrin, it was opened by none other than Juvia and Lucy, who were apparently on their way to the guild.

“Gray-sama,” Juvia wailed, holding on to his arm and begging him to tell her that the rumors weren’t true.

Fuck! He managed to ask Lucy to go find Wendy so she could take a look at Natsu before being forced to calm down Juvia.

This just wasn’t his day.

To be continued… 

A/N: It should finish up tomorrow. Spoiler, I lied! 

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG129 /o/

    - Overall, I’m… so, so proud of Jon since the season has begun? He’s trying! Trying so much and so hard! And it’s still the same Jon who is prone to outbursts, who can say mean things… but now, he’s also learned that his actions and his words can be destructive, that they can hurt people, that he can hurt people he cares about simply because he voiced what he felt! It’s not so much that his snappiness disappeared; it’s more that he’s now able to quickly understand that it can have consequences and wound even when he didn’t mean to?

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s fine, I know you’ve got… whatever this is, I’m not going to question you. MARTIN: Thank you. ARCHIVIST: [SPITTING] Even if it looks like you’re doing something really stupid. [SILENCE] … Sorry. MARTIN: It’s okay. I get it. ARCHIVIST: I just– I worry. […] [SIGHS] I suppo– … I miss you.

I mean!! Look at him!! He could compulse, has decided not to, and reassures that he won’t; he still snaps, but understand when he went too far and was actually demeaning; he explains his reasoning instead of clamming up! He caught himself when spurting one of his “I suppose”s and openly admitted something meaningful instead! Yes, alright, that should be basic, but that’s still a lot of progress and very impressive for someone who regularly fails to understand people around him, has trust issues, and used to go on the offensive when feeling cornered or criticised. (Would season1!Jon have behaved this way, uh?)

I’m also so fond of the way that Jon is once again… trying to make Martin talk? Restarting the conversation when the silences stretch out, talking about Martin? It’s horribly sad, but… the aesthetic of Jon trying to reach Martin feels so satisfying at the same time…

- I’m, however, a bit tad worried about how Jon sometimes flirts with becoming a The Eye apologist. 1°) He has been casually dropping a bit of an “us vs. them” mentality, lately, and it isn’t clear if it’s pure pragmatism (because they’re chained to the Institute) or Something Deeper:

(MAG123) BASIRA: [SIGHS] Alright. Best I can understand it, Beholding, or The Eye or… whatever you want to call it, we’re one of the only powers that hasn’t actually taken a shot at our ritual. Yet. And everything out there knows it. ARCHIVIST: … No, I mean, we… we can’t be the only ones, surely? BASIRA: I don’t know. Probably not. But we made a big noise with The Unknowing and… other stuff, and… now they’ve taken notice.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: You’re working for someone… really bad! MARTIN: Yes, I’m not an idiot, Jon, but it’s no… worse than working for something really bad, so… ARCHIVIST: At least The Eye hasn’t gone after our own. Lukas has vanished two people!

“we”, “our own” can be neutral and coming from an objective fact (the Institute is still their workplace, it’s about their colleagues!), or from a strategic point of view, or… a deeper feeling of belonging. I’m not sure. I hope that Jon is aware of what he’s saying and that it’s not the latter option ;;

2°) Jonathan “The Eye Did Nothing Wrong” Sims, DO WE TALK ABOUT IT. Elias killed Gertrude and Leitner! He allowed Sasha to die! He manipulated and chained them to the Archives! He traumatized Melanie! Jon should know that even without knowing that he also traumatized Martin (which… yeah, is only one of the things Elias has done in a long list, but in this particular case, especially horrible: Jon telling MARTIN, of all people, that The Eye ISN’T HURTING THEIR OWN…). That’s a lot of harm against its own people, even without taking into consideration the few Beholding statements that have popped up, including Albrecht’s death two episodes ago? What the heck, Jon? (Melanie would stab you again for this.)

It actually sounds like, overall, Jon is equating Peter’s actions with the Lonely, while at the same time… totally separating Elias’s from Beholding? I don’t know if it’s Jon being casually hypocritical, personally biased, or if there is something behind that (Elias not being Beholding’s Best Avatar, after all?).

- I don’t know if Martin realizes how much what he says makes it sound like he’s being coerced into avoiding everyone in exchange for Peter not harming the staff any further, and like there is no bigger plan beyond that – like Martin is just a victim with everyone else being used as hostages?

(MAG129) MARTIN: Oh… … Okay? W–well, sorry, but I’ve… I, hum… ARCHIVIST: You have to leave. Suddenly. […] Lukas has vanished two people! MARTIN: Yeah, and if it wasn’t for me, it would’ve been a lot more. [SILENCE] This isn’t helping anything. […] ARCHIVIST: If–if you do need to talk, I– MARTIN: I can’t. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–of course. [INHALE] Listen, Martin, you should know– MARTIN: Jon– ARCHIVIST: –Daisy might be alive, Basira is– MARTIN: Stop. Stop, please, I–I shouldn’t know any of this, I… [PACKING UP] I–I–I really need to go, I–I’m…

It’s never “I’m not interested” or “I don’t want to” – it’s always how about Martin can’t by obligation. However, the way Peter presented it in MAG126, Martin’s “isolation” is not the main goal: it’s a means to an end, since Martin agreed to all of this in order to stop the New Threat that Adelard was investigating. We know this. But from an external point of view, with just the glimpses of conversations Jon has had with Martin… Jon would have many reasons to think that there is no plan, no further motive for Martin, and that Peter is simply forcing Martin to do things while threatening everyone else? That… could actually make Jon worry even deeper, if Jon ends up thinking that Martin is not even working on something, but only coerced into not having any contact with the others because Peter is messing with him?

(It’s possible, and even likely, that Peter’s agenda actually involves a lot more than what he’s told Martin: that this is also a way to separate the team that had managed to defeat Elias, and/or to give Jon a taste of the Lonely, and/or to deprive Jon of potential anchors, and/or to keep using Elias’s “learn to fly by falling” approach to force him to develop his powers in a semi-hostile territory, and/or to prevent Martin and the assistants from meddling with The Lonely’s or Beholding’s plans… But I’m still a bit hopeful that Peter didn’t completely bullshit Martin about the New Threat as a cover for other reasons – that it’s still, indeed, an actual thing that will need taking care of? Martin is wary of him, that’s good; I don’t think that he sees Peter as trustworthy, and he’s probably expecting backstabbing or a twist before the end. But there would be something… really pathetic if there was actually no New Threat and that Martin had been roped into a series of lies, without managing to achieve anything. So many things have already been pathetic in Martin’s life (his one-sided crush, the fact that he doesn’t seem to be close to a lot of people even outside of the Institute since nobody had checked on him during the Prentiss siege, the fact that he sacrificed his whole life for a mother who hates him because he physically looks like his father), it would be… very heartbreaking to add more to the list with this;;

- I’m so relieved that Martin is aware of and acknowledging Peter’s sketchiness very naturally ;; 1°) And on the subject of Beholding being no better than a Lukas: Martin is not wrong, technically? Beholding is one of the Fears – it’s not a ~good~ option either, it has never been? The fact that they used to accumulate, read/record and archive statements can’t be good on the long run if it’s serving It? Maybe even preparing The Watcher’s Crown? Martin himself used to be a bit complacent about the work in the Archives (even post-reveal in MAG092), while Tim was the one to constantly remind the others that the Institute was bad, too:

(MAG098) MARTIN: [Elias] did suggest I try to get you involved and– TIM: And I suggest that he not be a scary, magic psychopath. … Whoops! Too late. MARTIN: … Yeah. TIM: [SIGHS] Sorry. MARTIN: No, I– I get it. Heh. They’re not exactly much fun. TIM: Look, it’s not that. I… [SIGHS] This place is evil, Martin. And I think doing what It wants? Probably makes us evil. And It wants those things to be read. I mean, I’m not going to stop you, but, at the same time… MARTIN: I– I get it.

Martin never really fought or tried to escape the archival work, but he’s aware enough to point out that it’s not a Good Option vs. A New Bad Option (which would be Peter); they’re all… bad.

2°) First there was Martin’s stern “Peter.” in MAG126 that just made Peter stop trash-talking Jon, now the mention that Martin is ensuring that no more staff members get wooshed into the Lonely… Martin has an iron grip on Peter, uh.

3°) Martin feared that he could be perceived and described as “Martin Blackwood: he was always scared, then he died. The end.” BUT SERIOUSLY. If he dies (and if there is a body), put “I’m not an idiot, Jon.” on his gravestone.

(- I’m ;; still hoping that those two researchers are aliiiive and that they’ll be able to get out from the Lonely. I mean. They resisted against the shady new management and against orders from a boss who 1°) is apparently incompetent at the job since he delegates all his tasks to an assistant, 2°) was probably chosen for reasons having to do with his privileged background, 3°) didn’t allow them to see him even once since he arrived, and yet had Ideas about how to rule the place. You’re brave, researchers! Fight against the system!! You don’t deserve to die for this!!)

-When listening to MAG129’s statement, I was a bit lost and went back and forth between many guesses as to which power was at work. I was expecting a Buried one from the title, but then, discovering to the statement itself, I kept wondering if it wasn’t something else: Corruption, since there was the sense of decay and the disgust when Kulbir went to the firm’s building? Dark, with the lights slowly fading out? Lonely, since everyone seemed to have disappeared? Vast, with the sky joining in that mess? Still Buried, since the firm used awful puns that sounded very Buried? I think I was just a bit surprised to see the Buried associated with water, of all things, despite the fact that it was nothing new in (what-we-assume-to-be-)Buried statements: MAG015 (cave diving), MAG088 (with the “DIG” book found on the beach)… Which makes sense considering what drowning is about? But because of MAG051 (“High Pressure”; hi Simon), I had come to naturally associate water=ocean=Vast, which I feel a bit stupid about since it’s obviously not how The Fears work; it’s not about elements or symbols but what they do to you. Still: I had that moment of “Oh? … Oh, right!!” during MAG129. It’s… a bit more obvious when relistening, given Kulbir’s main concerns and how the world shifted around him:

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) “but by that point, I was already too deep in debt and there was just… no way I was going to be able to stay. […] I felt… disgust rise in my throat, the awful, humid air of the waterlogged place sitting heavy in my lungs. […] The water was warm, and after the heat of the summer’s day, I breathed in, expecting the smell of petrichor. But the scent of the rain was something else – something earthy and cloying I couldn’t quite place. […] I tried to relax, to let the rhythmic tapping of the rain lull me off to sleep, like it always had when I was a boy. But I could find no comfort in it. It sounded too much like it wanted to get in. […] I was tired, I was hungry and, without the motion of the rain, the air had become intolerably humid. Every breath I took filled my lungs with that thick, wet scent, and it felt like I could barely get enough oxygen to think. The walls of my house were slick with moisture now, and there was nowhere I could go to be dry, no way out of this oppressive, cloying damp. […] Inch by inch, foot by foot, everything was descending into the water’s embrace. It would wrap itself around me, reach down my throat and fill me with its choking darkness. There was nothing I could do.

Aaaand obviously, given the many double-entendre opportunities revolving around “crushing debts”, of course The Buried would be targeting poor people feeling ~pressured~, anxious about their situation.

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) “The first words did nothing to dissuade me from my assumption it was junk mail: “Drowning in debts? We can help!” in big friendly text that seemed at odds with the pseudo-respectable image the rest of it seemed to be striving for. […] At the bottom, in that same friendly typeface, it assured me: “We can help with the pressure.” I don’t know what I expected. I really don’t.”

(It feels, more and more, like Puns are a way to get More Powerful when you’re serving an evil power. Only One True Fear: Puns.) Interestingly: it was also the case for Jackson Ellis in MAG097… but his dire situation got alleviated a bit after he had moved in in Bucoda:

(MAG097, Jackson Ellis) “My parents were dirt poor themselves, and couldn’t help. […] The forest pressed in on all sides, like it did everywhere in the Pacific Northwest, I suppose, but it was an effect I was struggling to get used to. […] As it turned out my situation wasn’t quite as dreadful as I thought. I discovered the next day that my work had actually paid me a small amount. It wasn’t clear whether it was meant to be salary or severance, and I couldn’t get through to anyone who might have been able to explain it, but it was enough to ease the relentless pressure, if only a little bit.”

Was it thanks to the fact that his situation got better than Jackson wasn’t entranced by The Pit like all the other residents?

- This wasn’t the first time that people escape through a near-death (or death?) experience: Antonia Hayley (MAG051, Vast), Carter Chilcott (MAG057, Lonely) were prime examples:

(MAG051, Antonia Hayley) “I should be dead, really. It’s a weird feeling. You ever had a near-death experience? I’ve had a few – they’re not uncommon in my line of work, but this… it feels different. It’s not like I put myself in danger and managed not to die; I should be dead. Decompression sickness that severe is almost never survivable, and I should have had an embolism. The fact that I didn’t… blind luck. It’s hard to reconcile yourself with avoiding of a death you feel… should have been yours.”

(MAG057, Carter Chilcott) “[…] I began to very seriously consider the idea… that I had died, and this was hell. Given that worry, the way I finally escaped could be considered ironic: I starved myself to death. Well, not to death, I suppose, given I’m alive enough to talk to you, but close enough. […] After everything else, I had no guarantee it was even possible for me to die, but I had to try. When I finally faded from consciousness, for what I hoped was the last time, it was the greatest relief I have ever felt. … I don’t… know exactly when I realized I wasn’t dead. There were various moments I… faded back into consciousness, and I know that I felt the re-entry, very hard, but it’s difficult to pin down clear thoughts before the hospital.”

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) “I don’t know if you’ve ever drowned, but it’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I tried to remain calm, to think of my grandfather and his firm, stony face […] My lungs spasmed painfully, desperately trying to wring air out of the warm, rancid water that filled them. And as I felt the water embrace me, fully pressing in on all sides… I gripped the last connection I had to the world I knew. The last thing I was conscious of… was the water getting colder. I don’t… remember them fishing me out of Regent’s Canal. Or most of my treatment, to be honest. At a certain point it all blurs together. I’m alive. And that’s what matters.”

I remember that Jonny more or less said that it’s impossible to truly understand how the Fears operate, given how they’ll always escape our rationalizations – but anyway: I get the impression that when they’re going all out, they kind of trap people in a reflected reality, and when people manage to escape them, they get spat out and back into our world? We had multiple witnesses whose testimonies didn’t match the official findings of later investigations, and it’s hard to tell who is lying and who is telling the truth: is the Police twisting some information in their official records since they’re alluding to Section’d events? Are the witnesses mixing up some details because their memory is at fault? When spook happens, there often seems to be two realities: and sometimes, there is no difference between the two; sometimes… something happened in one and had other consequences in the other (I mostly remember how the guy in MAG072 got his fingers cut yet they were still on his hand when everything stopped, though he saw his fingers cut with his ring on one of them, ring that he didn’t have on “his” finger anymore).

Here, Kulbir both got to “die” (or almost? or died for real?) and to hold on to an anchor (an item symbolizing someone that he loved):

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) “I could feel that warm, grasping water cover my feet, my ankles, slowly working its way up my calves, but at that moment, all I could think about… was my grandfather. And how he had looked when they had given him his diagnosis, calm and solid. […] He had always endured his problems, never tried to squirm out of things he felt he had to face. I gripped the sheath in both my hands and waded to the window. Corpses floated by, slowly waving at me gently, their lifeless hands grey and bloated. I ignored them. And stepped out into the water. […] I gripped the last connection I had to the world I knew.”

Which is something we’ve mostly seen in statements dealing with the Lonely, I felt? Naomi Herne heard her dead fiancé’s voice leading her out in MAG013, and Gerry had advised Andrea Nunis to think about her mother in MAG048 (which indeed allowed her to escape the anonymous crowd).

 - Regarding Kulbir’s grandfather: I wonder if he had a tie with something that was mentioned in MAG076, amongst the reports of William W. Hay about World War 2 dug up by Melanie?

(MAG076) “what I saw in the infirmary at Amritsar. Two dozen Ghurkhas tearing each other to pieces, consumed by the terrible butchery they had inflicted. Such things are not to be dwelt on, but serve to illustrate my proposition that violence, inflicted, received or even just witnessed, can not only deal injury to the body or the mind, but to the soul itself.”

The grandfather was specifically said to be a Ghurkha and brought back his weapon from it…

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) “We actually got into a… blazing row over his old kukri. He had been a Gorkhali, serving in the Fifth Gurkha Rifles during the Second World War. I have… complicated feelings on his military history, of course, but… he had always been fiercely proud of it. And that old knife had been one of his most treasured possessions. I didn’t keep it polished like he had, even at… ninety years old, but it reminded me of him. I could see his calloused hands on its hilt, as he meticulously, almost mechanically, cleaned it. Humming a tune the name of which I never learned.”

(Could have been Slaughter-infused, but I’m really not sure that it was even relevant here? What mattered was apparently the emotional connection.)

- ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; So that’s what happened to Jan Kilbride in the end (take that, myself, for sometimes daring to hope that he could have still been alive). We had heard Gertrude mentioning that she had Plans revolving around him back in MAG099 (recording from September 2nd, 2007):

(MAG099) GERTRUDE: […] For the Buried, however, I do have what I believe might be quite an effective plan forming – assuming, of course, that my suspicions about Jan Kilbride are correct, and that’s something that should be easy enough to determine once he’s back on Earth. Considering what’s probably happened to him up there already, I feel almost… bad, but there’s ten years yet before I can afford a conscience.

And Melanie had read Jan’s statement in MAG106 (left on February 10th, 2008) observing that the statement ended quite abruptly, and that Jan himself had disappeared from public views or records since coming back to Earth:

(MAG106) MELANIE: […] Also I, hum… I can’t find Jan Kilbride. He definitely returned. I’ve got more than one photograph of the trio’s arrival back on Earth, Carter Chilcott being attended by medical personnel, and the other two looking tired… but alive. There are also a couple of short newspapers stories mentioning their safe return. But it seems as though Kilbride made his way over to the Institute, a few weeks after touchdown, made his statement, and then… nothing. I can’t find any sign of him. And neither can Basira or Martin. Not on Earth, at least. I really don’t want to say he vanished into thin air but… he’s vanished into something.

Did Jan live in the tunnels for a while or something? He apparently managed to totally vanish from official records, and we know from MAG097 that the Buried’s “Sunken Sky” took place (or at least attempted to) on June 17th, 2008 – in Bucoda, America:

(MAG097, Jackson Ellis) “[…] [The pit] was bigger. And the road had swelled, to encompass it. There was someone else looking at it, though. An elderly woman, face pinched and thoughtful, stood at the edge looking down. I didn’t recognise her, or the car she stood next to. She definitely wasn’t from Bucoda. Sat in the car next to her, I could see a young man who had clearly been crying. I couldn’t get over how blue his eyes were… The old woman caught my eye, and looked from me, to the pit, and back again. I thought about saying something when she gestured for me to leave. And I did. I decided that I was no part of whatever was happening. So I drove away and didn’t look back. That night, the earthquake struck that destroyed Bucoda entirely, so I guess I’ll never know what was going on.”

Given that Jon mentioned that:

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: […] But I don’t want it. I don’t want to know. … I don’t want to see. … No more than I wanted to see how Gertrude stopped The Buried and their ritual, but that came to me as well. [HUFFS] They called it “Sunken Sky”! And she calculated, correctly, that casting a void-touched body down The Pit at the right time would be enough to disrupt it. Something she found in… Jan Kilbride. … But Gertrude also realized that the body need not be alive. Or in one piece. She thought it was a mercy. It wasn’t.

(Tim’s voice from MAG086: “Regarding a… blanket. Dead friend. Monster. Regarding his unavoidable and gruesome end. How he tried to hide. He couldn’t.”)

… it was apparently a gruesome end, and the tears might indicate that Jan knew what was coming. Gosh, the way Jon mentioned that it wasn’t a mercy… He got too much information about it, uh é_è

- *cough*

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: One thing that always strikes me when I read statements like this is… the bias of survivorship. With one or two notable exceptions, the only statements the Institute receives are those where the witness has… successfully escaped whatever terrible place or being has marked them for a victim. … I wonder how many don’t make it out. How many of those shapes in the water were once just like Mr Shakya. Hm.

1°) Yeah, without even counting the survivors describing how they witnessed someone dying or disappearing, we got a few statement-givers who flirted a bit too heavily with death (Nathaniel Thorp in MAG029), or were on the verge of turning into something else (Jane Prentiss in MAG033), or should be dead (Trevor), indeed. It happens. Also, Jon could add himself on the list, maybe, since he hasn’t managed to escape the Institute.

2°) I’m still so relieved every time Jon uses keywords indicating that he’s not perceiving the events these people go through neutrally – “terrible place or being” and “victim”. We saw a few monsters/avatars torturing people like it’s a game, but it is definitely not Jon’s case, and that’s a relief…

3°) ;; And it’s indeed a sad reminder that the only stories we get are from people who managed to get out (even if some of them met a gruesome end shortly after giving their statements, as we learn through the follow-ups), and that we can’t hear about the ones who were consumed/eaten alive/killed with no surviving witnesses… (Do you sometimes think about the fact that Jon gave that role to the tape recorder, in season 1 already? That he wanted to use it to chronicle what was happening in the Archives, to not become “another goddamn mystery”, because he didn’t want to end up like Gertrude or statement-givers? I wonder if Jon still thinks of a life after him and after the assistants, by now – if he still thinks it’s possible that maybe someone, one day, could find the tapes they left behind and reconstruct what they experienced. It doesn’t seem like the tape recorders are cooperating lately, though; they come and… go, and don’t allow people to hear what was said elsewhere.)

- I’m… intrigued by the fact that, so far, all of the things that Jon has suddenly Known (the leaks through the door) were information that had not been recorded on tapes – or, more precisely, that he hasn’t got any random outburst of Knowledge about things that have been recorded. Jon hasn’t mentioned anything about knowing that Basira had visited Elias (MAG127), nor about Martin’s conversation with Peter (MAG126), and we still haven’t heard any hint about whether or not he has listened to MAG118 and MAG120’s tapes; given how he gave his condolences to Martin about his mother, it’s more likely that he indeed still hasn’t been able to access MAG118’s. Are the tape recorders and the Spooky Magical Knowledge complementary things, or… actually competing against each other? (=> Does conversations getting recorded make them unavailable for Jon’s Spooky Powers?)

- Anyway: The Tape Recorder either liked Martin again, either knew that Jon was coming, since it clicked on in the room Martin was in before Jon entered.

- Where is MAG118’s taaaaape ;___; I’m pretty sure that Jon hasn’t consulted it since:

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I, er… I heard about your mother. MARTIN: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: I am… so sorry. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Thank you. [INHALE] It’s… [SHAKY EXHALE] It’s better, this way. ARCHIVIST: If–if you do need to talk, I– MARTIN: I can’t. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–of course.

I feel like Jon would have said something… more, here, if he had heard that one? Giving his condolences neutrally like this feels like he still only knows Martin’s mother from what he learned in season 2: that Martin sends letters to her, that Martin dropped out of school when he was seventeen because he had to care for her and to sustain them since she got terribly sick. (And Martin’s “It’s better, this way” makes me hate Elias even more, since… it can mean that Martin thinks that it’s better if she’s not suffering anymore? Or… that he thinks that it’s pulling him out of an unhealthy situation, since she hated him anyway and he had built so much of his life around being able to support her – sacrificing his education, having to lie to get hired somewhere, getting hired in Spooky Dangerous Institute to get a salary. If Elias hadn’t said anything, Martin might have been able to keep deluding himself into thinking that she wasn’t good with him because of the sickness, because it can make people meaner to close ones witnessing their decay…? But no, Martin Knew The Truth when she died. Did Elias know, in MAG118, that she wouldn’t be living for much longer…?)

And am I a puddle on the floor at the fact that JON TOLD MARTIN THAT HE WAS THERE IF MARTIN NEEDED TO TALK ABOUT IT? Yes, I am a puddle of whimpering feelings on the floor. It’s… something that I would have never expected Jon to say. He usually offers his presences for spooky stories, not for… emotional support.

Jon

told martin

he would be there

for emotional support

I still have trouble letting that sink in.

- And!!!

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: … What happened, Martin? [SILENCE] MARTIN: You died. ARCHIVIST: I came back. MARTIN: Yeah. [OPENS DOOR] I’m not gonna let it happen again. ARCHIVIST: … wait… Wait! W– [DOOR CLOSES] [SIGHS]

1°) Is this the first time that Jon has acknowledged (implicitly, since he rolled with the mention) that his “coma” wasn’t exactly a coma? Unless he took that “You died” as an exaggeration. So far, it had been euphemisms (“dreaming” in MAG122, “coma” in MAG123, “when I was… away” in MAG126), so! Does he know that it wasn’t a normal coma by now? Or is he still unaware of it?

2°) Martin’s answer… ;__; Not “my mother died”, not “Tim died”, uh. We did hear Martin begging for Jon in the season teaser, and it didn’t sound like it was only because of his crush – they objectively needed help and the fact that Jon wasn’t there forced them to find alternative ways to deal with what they were facing (Melanie&Basira holed themselves up in the tunnels, Melanie defended the Archives against the Flesh attack, Martin reached an agreement with Peter to help him against a new issue). The fact that Jon “died” changed things, logistically. But it also sounds so personal, in Martin’s mouth (a bit bitter?), and once again, I’m remembering how he had lost all his deepest connections at that point: Sasha, Tim, Jon, his mother… and yet, he took the decision to work for Peter, and we know from the trailer that he checked if “they” (Basira and Melanie, and probably the Institute’s staff) would be safe. Martin ;__;

(Okay, I freaked out at first with Martin’s answer, because… “I’m not gonna let it happen again.”: was he referencing Jon COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD? But it was probably about Jon ~dying~ in the first place. Or about Jon finding him a third time. I hope so?!)

- I wonder if… if the situation had been different, if it had been Tim inside of the coffin, if there had been a chance to save him, and not Daisy… Would Martin have reacted differently?

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–of course. [INHALE] Listen, Martin, you should know– MARTIN: Jon– ARCHIVIST: –Daisy might be alive, Basira is– MARTIN: Stop. Stop, please, I–I shouldn’t know any of this, I… [PACKING UP] I–I–I really need to go, I–I’m… ARCHIVIST: Right. … right.

Martin didn’t like her much, but Tim… Tim was another story. Maybe that would have been enough to shatter the fragile equilibrium and to make him try to help with it, even while still working with Peter.

Even outside of “what if”… It’s ironic, because Jon tried to reach out by talking about people around them – barely mentioning himself (except when it came to his feelings over Martin’s work and busy state, and the quick mention of his powers at the beginning of the exchange): “Basira is off doing… God-knows-what, and I can’t talk to Melanie.”, “I, er… I heard about your mother.”, “If–if you do need to talk, I–”, “–Daisy might be alive, Basira is–” “What happened, Martin?”. And right now… it might actually have been more effective if Jon had behaved a bit more self-centred? Breekon sneaked into the Institute and could have harmed them: meaning that Peter won’t raise a finger if they’re attacked and that they’re probably more vulnerable than Martin thought. Jon’s powers are growing, now with an additional invasive dimension, and there is the risk of his inner door opening (and of him drowning). Even Melanie’s surgery: Jon was hurt! Mentioning that would have been enough for Martin to freak out, usually!

Conveying that Jon is at risk, that Jon could become a risk, could have made Martin reevaluate his priorities? Martin’s deal with Peter is based on the assumption that Jon and the others would be safe at the end; if they’re harmed and snatched by something else beforehand… it changes the configuration a bit.

(- BUT JON CHOSE TO PRIORITISE WHAT WAS HAPPENING TO THE OTHERS!!! HE TRIED TO INFODUMP TO MARTIN WHEN HE HIMSELF IS DEPRIVED OF ANY INFORMATION, BECAUSE MELANIE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK TO HIM, BASIRA IS FORBIDDING HIM TO “KNOW” ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT SHE’S DOING, AND MARTIN REFUSES TO SHARE ABOUT HIS OWN AGENDA WITH PETER!!!

I don’t know why, but this is… one of the aspects that punch my feelings the deepest? That Jon is desperately trying to share what is happening around him, to rebuild bridges, to avoid miscommunication or leaving others in ignorance? Because he has known first-hand, since the beginning of season 4, what it is like when nobody wants to share their plans with you? Because obviously, obviously we’re heading towards a Disaster if they don’t manage to unite what they’re doing and what they’re thinking, when there is so much at stake and when they have multiple potential ends of the world to thwart?)

- MAG126 confirmed that Martin is Concealing and very much feeling; that he’s forcing himself to pretend indifference. And yet, he still slipped from that self-inflicted behaviour at the beginning? (Highlighting that Peter is not his first evil boss?) And sounded like he panicked when Jon began infodumping?

;; I would like to be able to feel GLAD that Martin is showing some determination in the path he chose; he’s clearly not fine but also firmer and… hanging on to what he planned. And it surely feels, already, that he’s barreling head first towards complete disaster. Jon and Martin feel more and more that they will compete for the role of Most Self-Sacrificing Idiot in order to protect everyone, instead of working together…

- Given Peter’s reaction after Martin had barely talked with Jon:

(MAG126) PETER: You talked to him. MARTIN: I… I, I tried not to, I–I, I didn’t mean to… PETER: You talked to him. And that’s understandable, Martin, of course it is! Please don’t think I’m upset, it’s just… not ideal. Shows how much work we still have ahead of us. […] I had hoped that all this time apart would have given you the space you needed, but… MARTIN: … You said he’d probably never wake up. PETER: And he beat the odds. Which is good. But it does make things more complicated. It doesn’t… actually change… anything. MARTIN: A–a simple “hello” isn’t going to make any difference to– PETER: We’ve been over this. The sort of power you’re going to need relies on your– MARTIN: [SULKY] Obedience. PETER: Isolation. It needs to be you, Martin. You’re the only one who could possibly balance between the two.

… yeah, I’m not eager to hear what Peter thought about Martin and Jon talking again this time. I hope that Peter won’t ~generously offer~ a way for Martin to be completely out of Jon’ reach ;;

At the same time: really not sure that Peter’s (official) plan is working and that Martin is doing much progress? Yeah, he had it audibly rough, sounded bitterer and drier. But he doesn’t sound hollow or indifferent? He doesn’t sound like he’s in his natural state when forcing himself to be isolated? And after this conversation, I’m not sure that Martin will be able to do any progress Lonely-wise: I mean, if he had a crush on Jon back in season 1 already, when Jon was… like that, HOW could his heart remain still with current!Jon? When Jon is trying hard to share things and moments with him, when it’s Jon who seeks him out and wants to know what is happening in Martin’s life, when Jon apologizes spontaneously, when Jon is showing that Martin not being around him is hurting him? When Jon is showing so hard that he cares about him? I hope that Martin gets to stock up on these feelings to fight off the Lonely’s influence :|

- *crawls on the floor* everything hurts and I hate it and I’m loving it at the same time hhhhh…

(MAG053) MARTIN: [SIGHS] I just worry. You needed five stitches after you “accidentally” stabbed yourself with a breadknife. If you’re still claiming that’s what happened. ARCHIVIST: I am. MARTIN: Then you’ll forgive me for worrying when you use sharp knives.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: Even if it looks like you’re doing something really stupid. [SILENCE] … Sorry. MARTIN: It’s okay. I get it. ARCHIVIST: I just– I worry. You’re working for someone… really bad!

OOOOOOH

(MAG126) MARTIN: … It’s because he’s back, isn’t it. [SIGHS] He’s back, so now you’re going to be… around, again. Listening in. Mff. You missed him, didn’t you. … Yeah. … [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION] Yeah, me too.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] I suppo– … I miss you. MARTIN: [SNORT] ARCHIVIST: I’m just… MARTIN: Lonely. ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] Yeah.

DID THE DYNAMIC

(MAG102) MARTIN: […] Look I’m, I’m so sorry, Jon, I– Elias didn’t even tell any of us that you’d been kidnapped– ARCHIVIST: Oh. MARTIN: –I didn’t know– ARCHIVIST: Hey– MARTIN: No-one else was telling me– ARCHIVIST: Hey, hey, hey… MARTIN: And there wasn’t any— ARCHIVIST: It’s alright, it’s alright. Elias didn’t tell anyone, there was, there was no way you could have known. I-I mean, I wasn’t exactly here before. MARTIN: No, you weren’t. … But I am sure that if you could have been, you would have.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: I, er… I heard about your mother. MARTIN: … Yeah. ARCHIVIST: I am… so sorry. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Thank you.

FLIP AROUND…

Martin used to be the one worrying for Jon!! To think about Jon when he wasn’t there!!! To feel like he had let Jon down!!!! (When he apologized in MAG040 for leaving Jon and Tim behind, too… ;;) There are many reasons for Martin to be one of Jon’s concerns, indeed: concern, because he hasn’t been there for the past months. Guilt, because Martin is the last of the original assistants left alive. Worry, because the Lukases are not known to be harmless people. Defamiliarization, because Martin used to seek his presence rather than avoid him.

But Jon also sounds so sad, trying to connect with Martin again… His voice was still dragging and a bit brooding when he introduced the statement right after – Martin’s behaviour is leaving him miserable, uh…

- Jon agreed to not try to see Melanie, and sticks to it. He also accepted to try to not Know about Basira’s errands, and… unless he’s dissimulating it from the tape recorders, it looks like it has worked so far? (He hasn’t even opened the coffin!) (Yet.)

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: I, er, I should probably… talk to h– BASIRA: You should probably stay as far away as possible. She doesn’t want to see you. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–o–of course.

(MAG128) BASIRA: Right. [SILENCE] [INHALES] Right. Keep it safe, I’ll be gone a few days. I have some leads I need to follow up. ARCHIVIST: Sorry…?! BASIRA: You heard me. Don’t ask about them, and don’t know about them either. ARCHIVIST: I can’t exactly control that! BASIRA: Learn. […] I’ll try and be back in a week or two. Don’t think about me. ARCHIVIST: Right. BASIRA: And don’t open the coffin.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: […] I haven’t heard from Basira, since she left on whatever secret errand, and I feel like I’m no closer to understanding any of this.

… I wonder if Jon will try to do what Martin asked of him:

(MAG129) MARTIN: Stop. Stop, please, I–I shouldn’t know any of this, I… [PACKING UP] I–I–I really need to go, I–I’m… ARCHIVIST: Right. … right. MARTIN: Please, stop finding me.

… or if, precisely, he’ll keep trying to see him. (Or if he will Know and… pretend he doesn’t.)

- Meanwhile, Jon’s powers are getting a bit out of control, uh… It’s, I think, the first time that Jon has expressed disgust at the idea of seeing/knowing things?

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: […] Or perhaps I shouldn’t wonder. [HUFFS] Even as I say it, I can feel the knowledge, pushing in my mind. Eager to find a way in. But I don’t want it. I don’t want to know. … I don’t want to see. … No more than I wanted to see how Gertrude stopped The Buried and their ritual, but that came to me as well. […] I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading.

Jon’s complaint is the complete opposite of how Elias had described the Beholding folks! (MAG092: “We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown.”) It looks like the knowledge of what happened to Jan Kilbride shook him pretty badly (it sounded… especially gruesome), and… indeed, Jon would fear losing himself with what is happening.

… So I’m really Not Impressed at him for suddenly forgetting his recriminations when he got the Knowledge of what he was supposed to understand from this statement. Is Beholding trying to appeal to Jon? Jon’s anxiousness and irritation totally disappeared right after he got the Additional Knowledge, so if it was the case… it worked. Jon, don’t be so easy!! It’s not because you’re getting the information you’d like to that it’s a good thing… ;;

- Okay, I’m probably granting too much consciousness and purpose to something that is supposedly (re)acting on instinct (“like a muscle spasming on reflex”, Jon had offered in MAG080) but.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: […] I don’t like this. I don’t like… not being sure what’s going to be in my mind. What thoughts are mine and what are from… elsewhere. Why I just know some statements are what I should be reading. I assume this one is related to the coffin. To Daisy. … I haven’t heard from Basira, since she left on whatever secret errand, and I feel like I’m no closer to understanding any of this. … [SIGHS] I suppose if this one managed to free himself from The Buried or, to find a way out of… whatever part of Choke embraces drowning, I… [STATIC] I need an anchor.

It really sounded like Jon: i don’t know what to doooo, i have no direction, no idea… Beholding: *sends Jon towards a Relevant Statement* (●♡∀♡))ヾ☆*。 Jon: k thanks that’s a buried one, what’s the point of it then ¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯ Beholding: (ilu but you’re so slow, do I have to SPELL IT OUT) Σ(￣ロ￣lll) *sends static-y additional knowledge* Jon: oh– OOOOOOH.

To be fair with Jon, there were multiple things that I thought about when assuming that Jon had been directed towards this one (which was then implied to indeed be the case during his post-statement)?

* First: it’s a bit surprising that Jon is learning so much about the rituals that Gertrude managed to counter, considering Beholding’s is coming close? It’s like Jon is being given tips about how to possibly… ensure that Beholding’s won’t happen. We saw in MAG126 how Gertrude learned the location and some elements involved in the Spiral’s Great Twisting; and Jon apparently saw/felt/got first-hand knowledge about Gertrude’s reasoning, and what she did with (/to) Jan Kilbride in order to stop The Buried’s Sunken Sky ritual. I don’t know if there is a sort of intention in Jon’s outbursts of knowledge: if Beholding is simply answering Jon’s curiosity calls, or if it’s able to select what to give and hide from Jon. Giving information about Gertrude’s counter-rituals feels a bit dangerous considering how Jon’s loyalty to his patron isn’t… well, we’re still not 100% sure that Jon would be down for the Watcher’s Crown since he hasn’t specified anything in that regard (I mean, it seems obvious that Jon doesn’t want it to happen! And he’s probably remaining silent about it because it’s not safe to be a bit too openly antagonistic to your own patron in its place of power? But at the same time, Jon Made His Choice to be able to wake up, and we still don’t know what happened exactly.) On the other hand, there is… something to be said about how the two last Archivists weren’t exactly super into their own patron: Gertrude was actively working against it, Jon is maybe a bit more ambiguous (or at least passive) at the moment… is ot a Beholding thing to shoot yourself in the foot just to see what happens?!

* When I wondered about how this statement could tie in with the coffin, I thought about the rain, actually!

(MAG002, Joshua Gillespie) “It was a hard, heavy rain, the sort that falls straight down with no wind to disturb it, until everything is dark and wet. It was barely past midday, but I remember the sky was so overcast and gloomy that I had to get up to turn on the light. And that was when I heard it. […] It was almost… melodious. It sounded almost like singing, if it was muffled by twenty feet of hard-packed soil.

(MAG129, Kulbir Shakya) It started raining on the walk home. … When would you start to worry about the rain? I don’t mean about it ruining your day or wrecking an event you’re planning, but at what point does it stop being normal, and start to alarm you?

I thought it might be because reaching The Buried (or allowing The Buried to reach you) might be easier when it’s raining, or something of the sort?

* Orrr if the point might have been to tell Jon to ~dig~ into the “[Eberhart?] and Strauss” firm. (Not sure about the name, it was never mentioned before? One “Harry Eisenhard” had disappeared in MAG099’s statement, which was a Buried one, but it’s clearly not pronounced the same.)

* Or if it wasn’t something about needing to Face The Fears in order to find a way out.

* Or maybe it was Beholding telling Jon (to open the door and) to allow himself to get drowned, because it’s Inevitable anyway. (The whole anchor thing would be even more relevant given Jon’s situation! Give him reasons to care, give him safeguards able to tell him off if he slips!)

* tl;dr Can’t blame Jon for being too oblivious about what was supposed to be “the clue” in that statement, since I… didn’t bat an eye about “anchors” either – I mostly perceived them as a way to escape the Lonely specifically until now >>

- I’m!!! so happy that

(MAG099) ARCHIVIST: Is it… Why are you so insistent on keeping me around? GEORGIE: Because you’re trying to cut yourself off, and that’s… that’s really bad! Look, when’s the last time you spoke to someone who wasn’t me? ARCHIVIST: That’s… I… I–I talked to Martin a, a… a… a few weeks ago…? GEORGIE: Did you talk to him? Or did he talk to you, while you tried to find a way to escape? ARCHIVIST: I… uh… GEORGIE: Look, you’re worried. I get it. But if you really think you’re turning into something… inhuman, you need people around you. You need anchors. ARCHIVIST: All my “anchors” are just as deep in this as me. GEORGIE: Well, you still need them. ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] Maybe you’re right. I… I’ll talk to the others. […]

Even if she’s not there, Georgie was right! “Anchor” was the word she used! ;w; (She was also the one to coin “avatar” before we learned that Gertrude also used it! Georgie is good at finding the right word when people are describing concepts!)

… Though it’s not a matter of stopping Jon from turning “inhuman” now ;; Elias had told Jon it was an irrelevant distinction back in MAG092 (“Jon, what does human even mean? I mean, really? You still bleed, you can still die. And your will is still your own, mostly. That’s more than can be said for a lot of the ‘real’ humans out there.”), Jon mentioned that he didn’t feel as heartless as he expected to with that development (MAG126: “I thought… moving away from my humanity would have made that seem more acceptable. That sort of sacrifice… but it just makes me sad…”), and it indeed feel like it’s not at the top of Jon’s fears anymore? (But he would still need anchors for this precise reason, probably ;;)

- Jonathan “I need an anchor!” Sims, why are you so relieved about that fact as if it were a helpful indication; must I remind you that

(MAG122) ARCHIVIST: Georgie, I– GEORGIE: Jon. If this really is a second chance… please, try to take it. But I don’t think that it is. ARCHIVIST: Georgie, I don’t und– GEORGIE: Take care of yourself.

nobody

(MAG127) ARCHIVIST: How’s Melanie? BASIRA: How do you think? ARCHIVIST: I, er, I should probably… talk to h– BASIRA: You should probably stay as far away as possible. She doesn’t want to see you. ARCHIVIST: No. No, o–o–of course.

currently

(MAG128) BASIRA: I’ll try and be back in a week or two. Don’t think about me. ARCHIVIST: Right.

wants

(MAG129) MARTIN: Stop. Stop, please, I–I shouldn’t know any of this, I… [PACKING UP] I–I–I really need to go, I–I’m… ARCHIVIST: Right. … right. MARTIN: Please, stop finding me.

to see or talk to you. I mean. Even friggin’ Elias, of all people, doesn’t want Jon to see him (for nebulous reasons):

(MAG127) BASIRA: [SIGHS] Fine. So you won’t see him, but you’re happy for him to hear our conversations. ELIAS: He can listen all he wants, but he’s at a very delicate stage right now, and I… fear my presence would be a… a distraction. I’ve made it clear my cooperation’s contingent on his not seeing me, and my terms have been accepted thus far.

Well. To be fair, Jon didn’t present it as the Solution – it’s a lead:

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: […] I need an anchor. I… I could go in… myself, I, I could find her. And… then, I just need to get out. I need something out here. Something I can know the way back to. I, I don’t know what. But… [HUFFS] It’s a start.

I don’t know what or whom he would be choose, though? Georgie elected to leave him to his own devices at the beginning of this season; Basira has repeatedly mentioned that she doesn’t trust him; Melanie is currently healing and not fine (and she didn’t like Jon even before getting tied down to the Institute). Even worse, for Basira: Elias made it pretty clear in MAG092 that if anyone is Daisy’s anchor, it’s Basira. And Basira presented Daisy in a similar way, too:

(MAG092) ELIAS: […] Should I, or the Institute, be destroyed, you will all, unfortunately, follow suit. […] And it would not be a pleasant death. DAISY: Bullshit! ELIAS: Then shoot me. Just squeeze the trigger, and watch the only person you care about die screaming. Your last connection to humanity. Do it. BASIRA: Daisy…

(MAG117) BASIRA: […] But at least Daisy’s coming along. I mean… I know she’s… difficult. Everything they say about her, it’s true, it’s fair. But… she’s solid. She’s a fixed point. And if she’s there, I know exactly where I stand, exactly what I’m doing relative to her. She has no doubts. […] Despite everything she’s done, she’s… she’s still the best partner I ever had.

(MMMMM, Elias’s line to Daisy is very close to Kulbir’s “I gripped the last connection I had to the world I knew”, isn’t it?)

Given Daisy and Basira’s relationship, and given how Jon presented the “anchor” as something that would help you to get out, it kind of excludes right away that Basira could potentially go inside to rescue Daisy; she would need her to remain outside of it in order to find her way back to her? Though, with how Basira managed to escape The Unknowing by herself in MAG119, and how she mentioned the events in MAG128, maybe she would be able to find her own way out of this one by herself, too (is she her own anchor, after all?) – but Daisy would probably not be able to leave the coffin if they’re both inside of it.

* Regarding Jon: I wish that Martin could turn out to be his anchor, because this season is breaking my heart, but I feel like their exchange at the beginning of the episode was kind of… making it clear that it couldn’t be him, that he wouldn’t agree to it (or then, Jon would have to push for it, and maybe push too far). On the one hand, Jon has been able to find him twice (MAG124, MAG129) thanks to Spooky Powers, when Martin wasn’t expecting Jon to be able to; on the other hand… they have never been especially close – mostly because Jon isn’t especially close to anyone. They used to look a bit closer from the outside, but I felt it was mostly because Martin hadn’t given up on Jon in season 2 (unlike Tim)? Jon trusted him in season 3, Jon tried to talk to him in MAG102, Jon is currently missing him and worried for him and trying to talk and reach for him (AND I LOVE IT, OKAY), but Jon barely knows Martin and I wouldn’t say there is a deep, stable emotional connection between them at the moment? If it had to be someone, I would be leaning towards Georgie.

* (Or The Admiral, but I doubt that Jon would be willing to involve him. Though: I have trouble picturing him making Georgie come to the Institute, too… He didn’t want to involve her much, making her enter The Eye’s temple would sound very risky in that regard, especially with Peter Lukas currently running it?)

* (I keep thinking about Helen because of the doors and because LISTEN… listen…

(MAG127) BASIRA: And don’t open the coffin. ARCHIVIST: [HUMOROUS EXHALES] It is addressed to me! [SILENCE] … Yes, alright. … Alright. [CLICK.]

=> if you get inside the coffin through another door, you don’t need to open the coffin! No breaking (implicit) promises! >:D)

* There is still the possibility of Jon’s grandmother, but I didn’t get the feeling that they were especially close when Jon recalled his childhood with her in MAG081…?

* If the “anchor” is an item: there are the tape recorders, though it’s mostly them who seem to find their ways to Jon, these days. There is also the Web lighter, the status of which is currently unknown: did Jon still have it on him during the Unknowing, or had Martin borrowed it to burn statements in MAG118? What happened to it during Jon’s coma? Same as the tape recorders, though: is it the lighter that follows Jon, or Jon who is drawn to it?

(MAG111) GERRY: […] Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then? ARCHIVIST: What? Oh! Er, n–no. I–I, I never really, uh… I never really thought of it.

* Other contender: the Archives themselves, or the Institute overall?

(I regret even deeper that Basira hasn’t apparently shared with Jon her discussion with Elias, because it implied that Elias still has plans regarding Jon… so if Jon really can’t make it out alone, I wonder whether someone would bulge to save him this time, if things were to derail horrendously. If past experiences are any indication: no, nobody would help him, especially not Elias since Jon was kidnapped for a whole month outside of The Eye’s reach and he only got saved because “Michael” went to finish him, even when The Unknowing was coming up. But. Still.)

Anyway! The lighter made me think again about how it’s not exactly that, but I feel like there is a bit of “Ariadne’s thread helping you through the maze” imagery in the idea of descending into the coffin? Not exactly since it doesn’t seem to be about marking the way back but having something to go back to, but! As I said, a bit. (Fun fact apparently, web strings used by spiders when they go from one place to another can be called “Ariadne’s threads” in French. The more you know.)

- I Can’t Expect Things To Go Greatly In This Series, so: I wonder if even Jon manages to get in and to find Daisy… either she will be either far too gone already and they’ll have to confine her somewhere instead, either Jon will make a mistake resulting in her death – while Basira was working on her way to get her out of it alive. In the latter case, it would definitely cement the fracture between Basira and Jon in such a way that they would both be at fault: Jon would have tried to help but would have broken the interdiction of not opening the coffin; Basira would have wanted to save Daisy but, by refusing to share what she was doing, only nurtured Jon’s eagerness to try to fix things. So yeah. There are many ways it could go very bad, and I have had too many moments of “actually, things are only getting worse, I miss the time when they were less Worse” to hope for how the situation could improve :|

(But maybe it could not be a disaster. Maybe Jon could wait for Basira to come back before trying anything; maybe they would manage to save Daisy; maybe Basira would come back with Simon Fairchild on Elias’s recommendation because he still has a terrible sense of humour, and Jon could take example on how Gertrude stopped the Sunken Sky by throwing Simon into the coffin, neutralizing two threats at the same time. Would make him (rightfully) lose humanity points in Basira’s eyes, though.)

(- Melanie’s bullet was removed, tho!! Which is definitely an improvement, even if she’s currently a wreck.

First was Melanie, now is Daisy… even if the Mission To Rescue Daisy ends in a disaster, maybe trying to get Martin back will come after. Even though we know that Martin has an agenda.)

- If Jon does end up going down into the coffin: I wonder if we will hear him live? Or if he’ll describe what happened afterwards? …………….. or if the scene would switch to Elias describing the events for us. :||||| 

- CHEERS!! The Pit (MAG097) had teeth inside and a tongue, so we know that Buried things can bite. That leaves plenty of opportunities for Jon, who *gasps* is still missing a Buried scar, to get it from there.

The Dark also had the creature that can wreck you. The Flesh has plenty of ways to twist you a bit. As for the Lonely:

(MAG125) ARCHIVIST: […] It’s… frustrating, to be honest. I finally feel myself, I feel… focused, and ready – and I find myself basically alone.

(MAG129) ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] I suppo– … I miss you. MARTIN: [SNERK] ARCHIVIST: I’m just… MARTIN: Lonely. ARCHIVIST: [SIGHS] Yeah.

Whether it’s part of Elias&Peter’s plan or a nice bonus snack for Peter: the Lonely is already affecting Jon. Slowly completing the “collection”, uh.

  MAG130’s title is already out, and MMMMMMM. Biggest plot-twist would be if The Flesh wasn’t involved, uh. (Can we have Melanie back a bit? ;w; Maybe giving a statement about how The Flesh attacked two months ago? ;w;)

[wendip-week]

Wendip Bits from the GF Complete Series Commentary/Lost Legends Comic

Hey all!  @ddp456 here!

So, in between helping Kenzoe64 with the last few pages of the Protector comic and working on chapters of DBR3 (yes, I swear it’s still coming) I’ve had a bit of a secret project I’ve been working on (and to be honest, I’m kinda surprised no one else beat me to it)

Over the last few months, I’ve had a chance to rewatch Gravity Falls through the newly released Complete Series Blu Ray set, and for this, listened to every commentary created for each episode, as well as those made for the special features disc (which forgive me if I’m wrong, but was for the BD set, right?).

While the tracks give a HUGE insight on all things GF, it also unveils the curtain on many things Wendy and Dipper related; some things I guessed correctly from the very beginning (see my personal notes for bragging rights), and some, well, that kinda shocked me, and left me uncertain about a few details.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.

As you can guess, think of this as a dissection of the commentaries given, focusing on our favorite duo from the series, and afterwards, I’ll include a few questions of my own.  Fair enough?  Let’s get started:

(Tidbits in the first few episodes)

-Alex Hirsch states that Dipper’s crush on Wendy was always meant to be a big part of the series.

-Hirsch wanted to drop Wendip hints in the first episode (Tourist Trapped), but Rob Renzetti (Supervising producer director, creator of My Life As a Teenage Robot) talked him out of it, saying that he was doing it way too soon.

-The age difference between Dipper and Wendy was the very first conflict that came to mind in the writer’s room, so therefore, it was used.

-The persona of Wendy herself was crafted like that of a “cool camp counselor” so that she could do cool adult stuff, and be able to do “kid stuff” as well without being out of place.

(The Inconveniencing)

-The Cold Open for Episode 5 (Roof Time!) was created at the last minute because the writers realizes that the Wendy/Dipper connection really wasn’t justified.  The roof sequence was to make not only Dipper fall in love with Wendy, but the audience as well.  (D’aww!  - Editor’s note)

-At the end of the episode, the second “Zipped Lips” motion between Wendy and Dipper symbolized many things.  It shows that Dipper (despite lying) is accepted by Wendy into her social circle, and given her friendship.  Her lying to the other teens is just as important, as she does so without Dipper asking her to.  This was done to make Wendy as real as humanly possible, showing that she is just as cool as Dipper (and we as an audience) make her out to be.

-Hirsch often laments on the fact that they didn’t do a full “Wendy-themed” episode.  He explains that the point of many episodes is that a said character “learns a sin” and they were afraid to do so with Wendy, in fears that it would ruin her chemistry.  (more on this later - Editor’s note)

-They foreshadow the conflict over Robbie and Dipper (involving Wendy) and recognizes that things weren’t always realistic (e.g. how Dipper can beat up the Multi-Bear, but how he was deathly afraid of Robbie).  Hirsch’s reasoning is that the audience seems forgiving with such exaggeration as long as everyone appeared to stay in character ( again, more on this later - Editor’s note)

(Double Dipper)

-Originally, Double Dipper had nothing to do with Wendy (GASP! - Editor’s note)  The original premise was about Mabel trying to set up a party so she could mingle with the citizens of Gravity Falls, and make new friends, and Dipper, being the anti-social opposite of her, tries to prevent this at every turn, only to fail.  It was only when at the last moment, someone suggested to have Dipper’s story be about Wendy.

-During the slow dance scene, the animators specific added a shot of Wendy from Dipper’s POV so that we (the audience) could understand and feel the same anxiety that he did at that moment.

-At the dance of the episode, Hirsch and the rest of the crew theorize about what happens when Dipper goes back inside the Shack at the end of the night.  He specifically asked, “Do you guys think he asks Wendy to dance?”  The rest of the crew disagree, saying they can picture Dipper trying to dance on his own, and Wendy cheering him on, sprinkling confetti on him from afar like in the beginning of the episode. 

(Cute, but what about this? 

is it non-canon, now?  Did the commentary happen before the real Journal 3 was written?  Or is it presumed that Dipper lied in the journal?  What the fuck?  - Editor’s note)

(Irrational Treasure)

-Going off on a tangent, Hirsch describes Dipper’s crush on Wendy as “creepy” and “over-the-top.”  He details that it’s Dipper’s seriousness that leads to misfortune, and for that, he takes a lot of lumps. 

-The Zodiac is mentioned here, and the writers explain that the Ice wasn’t always related to Wendy.  The symbol was random.

-And as a cute sidenote, the “binkies” that the Pines twins have at the back of their heads were taken from the same ones that the Mario Bros. have.

(Time Traveler’s Pig)

-Alex Hirsch goes hard on Dipper here.  He explains that Dipper has a very naive, yet forgivable, but wrong idea about romance.

-He feels that Dipper would die a thousands deaths to have Wendy feel the same way about him.

-Dipper is desperate to have this perfect moment, this perfect day with Wendy, because he believes that he’s not perfect on his own (told ya’ all! - Editior’s note)

-Hirsch says because of this, Dipper doesn’t deserve to get what he wants.  This idea of how the world works shouldn’t be rewarded.

-He adds that creating the lessons above was the hardest part of writing the episode.

(Fight Fighters)

-Hirsch knew that the “crush” angle was getting old, but he loved the story presented here.  He says that “Dipper’s heart was in the right place” when defending Wendy against Robbie.  (again, take that, internet!  - Editor’s note)

-Hirsch was blown away by the internet’s response to the episode, shocked to see how many people have had a negative reaction to it.  At this point, Jason Ritter (voice of Dipper) responses, “What?!  Love doesn’t die, guys!

-Alex goes into how he doesn’t care for “shipping,” that the “Wendy/Dipper” stories come from need for conflict, but not from character relationships.  With Wendy involved, Dipper is motivated, desperate, and will do the most insane things.

-He agrees with internet that the crush wasn’t really going anywhere, but he loved the W&D scripts that kept coming in.

-Robbie’s calling out Wendy like a dog (C’mon, out, girl!) was ad-libbed by TJ Miller.

-Hirsch believes that if left alone, Robbie would have never fought Dipper.  He was jealous that his girlfriend was going off on all these weird adventures with this kid.  (Wait, so there are untold Wendy/Dipper adventures out there?!  - Editor’s note)

-The height difference between Wendy and Dipper literally comes from Alex’s real life (and his twin, Ariel, was taller, like Mabel), where he was the smallest kid in class, and his science partner in school was regular sized, and also, his secret crush.

(The Deep End)

-The episode was always meant to be a non-serious, low-stakes piece.  Dipper’s having a good time with Wendy was not meant as romantic, but as friends.

-Wendy was originally meant to have a two piece bikini, but the network made them change it (So, wait, it wasn’t a homage to the Sandlot’s Lifeguard Wendy? - Editor’s note)

(Boyz Crazy)

-Hirsch regrets not clarifying the Robbie/Wendy/Dipper portion at the end.

-He insists that the hidden message in the song was mere coincidence.  Wendy was not hypnotized. 

-He sees the situation as follows:  Dipper is jealous that Wendy is into Robbie’s music.  For this, Dipper figures there has to be a sinister reason for this. 

-Robbie definitely stole the music, but didn’t know that the message was there.  Hirsch says as a child, he was personally fascinated by rock bands having hidden messages in their records.

-At this point in the commentary, Ariel Hirsch chips in, saying that in the end, “Dipper wasn’t thinking about Wendy.”  Jason Ritter (Dipper himself) agrees, “He’s only thinking about calling out Robbie.”    (told ya’ all x3.  - Editor’s note)

-Alex Hirsch’s quote about the hidden message: “Backward messages can’t control people’s behavior because you can’t understand them!”

-His notes on Stan and Dipper bonding in this episode: “Both would rather believe that there is a huge conspiracy rather than they’re bad with women.”

(Land Before Swine)

-Hirsch says as side-notes that Wendy had a running bet with Grunkle Stan about who would eat the corn-unicorn first (he didn’t bet on Waddles).  Also, he says that Ford has a fear of women because after a bad experience involving someone being freaked out by his six-fingers.

(Gideon Rises)

-Hirsch admits that Gideon’s speech to Dipper is bullcrap.  Dipper has beaten plenty without the aid of the Journal 3, but his insecurities make him believe otherwise.

(Scary-oke)

-Wendy has two cut scenes that are shown in the Special Features disc.  At the beginning of the episodes, she (along with Soos) is interview by the news and she is chided for using the word “Jerkface” on live TV.  She then goes into a huge rant about her “freedom of speech.”  The second shows that Wendy was given the blow-horn by Mabel to be the official hype person of Scary-oke.

(Into the Bunker)

-ITB won an Annie award?!  (Didn’t know that - Editor’s note)

-Hirsch wanted to keep the Dipper/Wendy crush going, but could see that the audience was getting tired of it.  The writers decided to have Wendy become a member of the team and go on adventures, choosing to have Dipper deal with heartbreak sooner than later.

-It was considered to be the third priority for the second season.  (Reveal Author, Revisit Switch in the Woods, and Kill the Crush)

-Speaking of, the Bunker’s staircase was taken from the video game classic, Myst

-The script for “Into the Bunker,” was given to Matt Chapman (of “Homestar Runner”/Strong Bad fame), because all of his GF scripts happen to have heartbreak in them, earning him the nickname, “Shipwrecker.”

-Wendy and Dipper’s movie night/Cold Opening was the very last thing to be added to the episode.  They needed something to tie Dipper’s investment to both the adventure at hand, and the Wendy crush

-In this, Dipper’s confidence grows by defeating Gideon, and when Wendy says she doesn’t need guys, it brings him to turmoil by the impossible and hopeless.

-The symbol room was originally the “Gonna Die” room.

-This episode is in Alex Hirsch’s top 5 GF episodes, because of its darker tone.

-He details:  there are so many good moments in this episode where Dipper is suffering at the hands of this girl that’s so much cooler and so much beyond what he could even understand.

-The GF team knew that this had to be a stand-out episode for Wendy.  We had to spend a lot of time with her, showing that she could hold her own and make a valuable addition to the Mystery Crew.  Hirsch regrets not doing that more.  For this, every time Wendy is added to the team, she’s awesome.

-The most amount of takes in the entire series was the “Dipper crying over dead Wendy” scene.  Hirsch explains that it was a hard thing to sell, and a really vulnerable moment.

-ITB’s ending was one of the hardest endings to write.  The commentary says they rewrote it 5 times to get it right.

-An idea used was “Love is temporary, but friendship is real love?”  (Hell, that’s what I use about 90% of the time - Editor’s note)

-The line “Don’t be itchy.” was added super late to the script.  The team tried to avoid as many cliches as possible.

-The first time the Wendy/Dipper confession scene was watched in animatics, Hirsch and crew felt that it was “too romantic,” like a romcom.

-In the Special Features disc, we see a sneak peak of the deleted scene.  In this, Dipper goes in on a rant of despair, pledging to Wendy that he’ll try to avoid the Gift Shop from now on, and that she’ll never have to talk to him again, before she stops him and tries to calm him (Dude, Dude, it’s okay...)  (Poor baby... - Editor’s note)

-The scene was meant to reflect Alex’s own puberty, which wasn’t romantic, but nightmarish. 

-”It’s meant to be terrifying for Dipper.  His heart is in his throat as he has to have this talk with Wendy.  He’s frozen, waiting for it to pass, and Wendy can see this pain, and she’s doing everything she can to show him, “Nothing’s different.  Everything’s normal.  You’re normal.  These feelings are normal.  I’m a couple years older than you, and I’ve seen this.  I’ve been around the block.  We all go through it.  You’re going to be okay.”

(Kinda wish they went this route instead of the whole “age” thing.  It’s beautiful - Editor’s note)

-It couldn’t be a “will they/won’t they” situation.  The real question was “will they be friends after this?”

-The writers could see a very legitimate path where Wendy is like, “Dude. you’re creeping me out.  Maybe we should take a little time from each other because this is not healthy, etc.”  The fact that she was so beautiful and cool and treats Dipper so well shows that she IS the awesome kind of person that Dipper thinks she is.

(The Golf War)

-A quick note about Dipper and relationships.  Dipper’s normal social fear melts away when he’s around someone he hates so much.  Someone like Pacifica brings out pure sass and rage.   (HA! - Editor’s note)

(Little Gift Shop of Horrors)

-There was a possible story being tossed around where Wendy gets a tattoo and gradually, it overtakes her/she becomes the tattoo herself.  Alex Hirsch loved the idea of a living tattoo, stating that it’d fit with Wendy’s rebellious teen nature, and that she’d learn a lesson at the end of it.

-The writers passed, saying that Wendy is very hard to write for.  When we see her, she’s cool and controlled, and for a short story concept, finding that depth to make it valuable would be difficult.  Plus, they didn’t want to be compared to Moana (or the fact it’s almost exactly like a Goosebumps story? - Editor’s note)

(Society of the Blind Eye)

-Hirsch and the writers loved the Wendy/Mabel scene because there’s not many of them throughout the series.  To them, it was great to show Wendy as the “cool, older sister.”  Hirsch dug Wendy’s complete disregard of boys.  “Don’t worry about them.  Yeah, whatever, they’re a dime a dozen. I’ve had so many boyfriends...”

-The writers discuss what kind of man Wendy would end up with.  “He’d have to be something - some kind of specimen.  She’s so confident and having a good time, comfortable in her own skin; if a guy’s cool, she’ll be “Yeah, I’ll try it out,” and when she’s bored, “Yeah, no thanks,” leaving a bottomless scar inside their heart,” going on to cite Robbie as example.

-Alex Hirsch added the line about Wendy’s being stressed 24/7.  It’s obviously not what she shows the world, and yet, it shows how you can vaguely see it there.  (Tell me about it - Editor’s note)

(Blendin’s Game)

-Alex Hirsch’s view on family:  “Friendship is thicker than water, and family’s something you can create.”

-Hirsch’s further thoughts on shipping:  He tells the writers that it’s meaningless.  He rather ask if they have a compelling story instead.  He doesn’t care about love, saying “Love isn’t the end - it’s a story turn.”

-A member of the writing cast was going to comment on the baby Wendy and Tambry scene, when she was interrupted, and the point is never bought up again.   (Dammit! - Editor’s note)

(Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons)

-Hirsch debated about having a scene where Dipper reveals his real name to Ford.  The consensus said no.  The same happened for “Dipper and Mabel Vs. the Future.”

(The Last Mabelcorn)

-Originally, the episode was going to be a Wendy-eccentric episode involving her family and her relationship with Manly Dan.  On top of that, she was going to gain magical weather powers as well.  The team decided against it, not wanting to be compared to the movie, Frozen, as well finding it hard to balance considering Wendy’s grounded character.

For this, they made it up to her by having Wendy (and her influence) take over the episode after the first third.

(Roadside Attraction)

-The Special Features disc shows an alternate opening that doesn’t showcase a Dipper/Wendy angle at all.  Dipper asks a group of ladies to borrow a quarter and instead, gets beaten up for it.  Mabel and the gang figure from this that Dipper needs help talking to women.

-The whole point of the episode (to Hirsch) is that Dipper gets advice from Stan when Dipper is only trying to move on, while Stan has no idea what he’s doing, stating he is not a role model by any means.  The lesson is not to present false affections and learn to hear other people’s feelings.  “Stan lives alone for a reason!”

(Dipper & Mabel Vs. the Future)

-The Mabel/Wendy scene was created so that if someone as cool as Wendy doesn’t like High School, it immediately changes Mabel’s perspective on the matter.

-One of the Government agents were originally going to offer Dipper an apprenticeship/”advanced learning path,” in due to all of his discoveries and research.

-Hirsch figures that Ford’s speech towards Dipper is similar if not the same that he gave to McGucket.  Ford takes advantage of hero worship - it’s not so much as he needs an apprentice, rather to have someone that’ll do anything he says.  (So where are those people that says Ford doesn’t have a mean streak in him? - Editor’s note)

-Upon Dipper rescuing Ford, Jason Ritter laments on commentary, “If only Wendy could have seen that moment...” to which the room explodes with laughter.

(Weirdmageddon Part 1)

-Hirsch explains: “Wendy is the most grounded character in the series, so in this ungrounded scenario, she is able to make the most of it.  She can handle just about anything.”

-Wendy’s speech to Dipper was struggled with for a while.  It had to be a speech not about Dipper’s self-confidence, but about how he needed Mabel back (which the writers says there’s truth in)

-The live action Wendy and Dipper scene (with Jason Ritter and Linda Cardellini) had lines cut from the final version (Son-of-a-...  Editor’s Note)

-The Gideon/Dipper speech represents the full completion of Dipper’s Wendy arc.  It’s a real-life lesson that Hirsch says many people in real life still don’t get.

(Weirdmageddon 2: Escape from Reality)

-A deleted scene in the Special Features disc expands on the beach scene, where Mabel zaps Dipper, Wendy, and Soos’s ruined clothing into gaudy swimwear (though Wendy has a cute flower in her hair ala Hawaiian).  They go to the beach and Wendy begins to admire the hunky volleyball players, leading to a jealous Dipper.

-Alex Hirsch explains that the fantasies offered in Mabelland aren’t fantasies, they’re easier outs.  Wendy’s is teen rebellion rather than facing reality.  Soos’s is the dad he always wanted.

-With Dipper, what was originally going to be behind the door was Ford and the offer of the apprenticeship.  They would go off on adventures and discoveries, only to stumble upon a now-alone Mabel, growing up in High School, and having a real life.  Hirsch axed the idea, believing that Mabelland, and by extension, Bill Cipher, wouldn’t show the downside of any fantasy, rather Dipper would have to discover it himself.  For this, the writers had to go back to “the Wendy Well.”   (Special note: we at @wendip-week have to use the phrase, “Wendy Well” more often - Editor’s note)

-Earlier versions of the episodes had different “Wendy wants,” including one where we find her writing deep poetry.  The writers go on about her fantasy, saying that it couldn’t be a “perfect guy,” because she’s self-realized.  But at the same time,  they admit that Wendy “exhibits destructive character flaws that she has to get over.”  They add, “She really loves that aimless teen rebellion, that it’s hard to turn down all that chaos.”   (So, why the hell didn’t they make an episode about that?!  And I wanna see Poet Wendy ASAP! - Editor’s note)

(Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls)

-Alex Hirsch:  “Gravity Falls was always meant to have a bittersweet feeling to it.”

-Weirdmageddon was about giving everyone a hero moment.  Part 1 was Wendy and Dipper’s.  Part 2 was Mabel, and the Mystery team as a whole.  Part 3 was the Stan twins and the town united.

-Jason Ritter marvels at the Wendy and Rumble sequence, noting how all the other characters are fighting  with machines, and yet Wendy is going at it bare-handed.

-Weirdmageddon was approved to be a made-for-TV movie, but Disney demanded another 3 episodes for regular air.  The team declined.

-There was never an official plan for the Zodiac.  It was something the team made as a tease, but after seeing fan response, they knew they had to do something with it.  Linking Wendy with the bag was a last minute decision simply because of the scenes involving her and ice throughout the series.

-A quick note about the original quote of the Llama, versus the final one given by Larry King, “Llamas are dumb, blonde, beautiful, and they spit!”   (BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! - Editor’s note)

-Hirsch is a big believer in visual aid.  The Pines twins changed on the inside, and he wanted something to show that on the outside as well.  Mabel got to keep Waddles, and for that, Dipper received Wendy’s hat, as a symbol of their friendship.

-Rewatching the scene, Jason Ritter says that he believes Dipper never takes off Wendy’s hat, and is too shy to tell anyone its origins.  (”When people ask him, he’s like “Don’t you worry about that...”)

-Alex Hirsch says the switching hats idea came from a storyboarder’s sketch, in which he said, “That feels right.”  (Uh-huh.  Just a sketch... - Editor’s note)

The Wendy’s note scene was meant to be ambiguous about two things.  The first being “Mystery.”  It gave Dipper one last question to ponder in his head.  (Had to do one last tease, eh?  Editor’s note)

-The second was “Endings.”   “Did something just die here?  Are all these things we love really gone?”  HIrsch says not quite.  “Endings are new beginnings.”

A few neat points of interest (non Wendip related)

-Jason Ritter is a HUGE gaming fan, where he was able to name almost all the references in “Fight Fighters.”  He also played and completed the Gravity Falls 3DS game twice (where Alex Hirsch admits he never has...)

-Hidden in the Double Dipper episode, there is a secret commentary track, where Jason swoons over Wendy for part of the episode, only to be interrupted by his clones (including one that had to camp out for “The Legend of Zelda - Breath of the Wild)

And lastly, I want to address the new comic, Lost Legends.  While it didn’t have a hint of Wendip in it:

(sorry, fam, Wendy making a crack about Dipper wearing a skirt doesn’t cut it for me.  And didn’t mean to mooch. @fereality-indy. - I couldn’t find a real scan)

But it does contain two other important pieces of information (besides Mabel getting her just-desserts).

The first is a code that gives the hint, WENDY'S MOM: IN ANOTHER DIMENSION?

Such a thing would explain a ton.  One would guess that Wendy and her family believes that her mother just vanished, meaning she could have abandonment issues.  (and yes, kids, such a thing can affect how people have relationships)

And to add to the tease, there’s a second hint as well in the first story:

(and thank you, GF Team for giving me another canon point to add to the Protector comic by stating the BES still exists!)

But back to the task at hand, we see that the far right vital has Wendy’s mom’s memories.  Is this in conjunction with the above point?  Or its own theory?

Hopefully, this plot point is exploring in the next piece of GF related media.  All I can guess is this, if Wendy’s mom really is stuck in another dimension, the Pines better pray they didn’t have anything to do with it...

The only other interesting thing to note is that at the end of the second story, Wendy makes an comment about “overthrowing the government,” which kinda sounds like the cut scene from “Scary-Oke” mentioned above.  Is it a statement of the politics taught in the Corduroy home, or is it a reflection of current views from Alex Hirsch and the writers?  (It’s fascinating either way, IMHO).

So, with everything said and done, I’ll admit, reader, I’m a bit mixed up, feeling wise.

On one hand, Alex Hirsch himself confirmed a shit-ton of Wendy and Dipper info that makes me feel like:

But at the same time, it seems like one of my favorite parts of the show is the one he could care less about - that it’s an end to a means.  The closest feeling I can relate to is how the Professor in the 2nd TMNT movie inadvertently tells Donatello that he was an accident.

And I get it, the series is based on the dude’s real life, and that includes nearly every aspect of Wendy and Dipper, rather it be good or bad (or as he describes it, mostly bad).  But that’s kinda of why I love it, too, that I can relate to that as well, as I’m sure many of you can.  I can say with full honesty that I’ve been both a “Dipper,” where I’ve followed along with a way-too-cool-for-me-girl like a lost puppy, and I’ve been a “Wendy,” too, in which a small ball of wonder looked up at me like I was a gift from God, and I tried my best not to sour or pervert that, and yet, remain honest.  It is an interesting story, even if it’s not the main story.

Man, he wasn’t kidding when he said “Gravity Falls was about being bittersweet,” eh?  But still, the fact remains: while it wasn’t perfect for ol’ Dipper, at least he wasn’t Patti Mayonnaise-d.

Between the numerous essays and questionnaires I’ve whipped up this summer, I still believe that there is ton of info to be asked and answered, especially involving our non-official favorite duo.  We can only hope that the powers that be may want to wish about that “Wendy Well” one day in the future.  Nothing is ever certain, and with that, I’ll leave you with some of the truest words out there, straight from Dipper Pines himself (and because I can’t find the damned gifs.)

Until next time.