#there's a song that I ONLY listened to in the 2 months I wrote that and then never again and it made number 5 on my spotify wrapped

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do

[whatevertheweather]

Thank you @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @aristocratic-otter for the tags!

Not to say this every time I do a tag game, but I’m super late to this party. In fact so late that I wasn’t going to do it, but then I kept thinking about it, so hi everyone, here’s a throwback to when all of you did this a million years ago.

Rules: list your top 10 most kudos’d fics on AO3, followed by your own personal top 10.

AO3 Top 10:

1. Bite Me (M; 27.6k)

2. A Restless Mind (T; 21k)

3. Keep It Down (E; 5k; co-written with @fatalfangirl)

4. The Space In Between (M; 101k)

5. Caprine Attire (T; 18.4k)

6. For The Turtles (T; 17.9k)

7. Just A Prank (T; 5k)

8. The Definition of Platonic (T; 5.7k)

9. Archery 101 (M; 13k; co-written with @you-remind-me-of-the-babe)

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats) - (T; 4.9k)

My my. This is all going to get rather rearranged.

My Top 10:

1. The Space In Between: Surprising absolutely no one, TSIB is still my number one favorite thing I’ve written, and it will always be terribly dear to me. I cannot overstate the impact it had on my writing and my...overall joy. I’ve made an edited and formatted version to put on my Kindle and I reread it more than I should.

2. Bite Me: Okay we can all agree on this one apparently. There are several fics I’m struggling to pick between for spots 2 through 4, but this one earns this place for the amount of fun I had writing it. And posting it. The enthusiasm it received was wonderful and it made me feel wonderful.

3. Brazen (M; 10.9k): My least popular fic! I love it so. I also understand that it’s not for everyone, and that’s valid. I have in fact had a couple moments myself of, “Wow I. I really did write that huh.” But listen, over the past few months I have consumed no less than four separate pieces of (fairly popular) fiction that have all equally inspired me to say, “Yeah that’s fucked up. Brazen really ain’t shit huh.” So. Anyway, it’s so much fun to write them being feral, an excellent pastime, can’t recommend it enough. That’s why I’m writing more of it.

4. The Smokescreen (T; 18k): Surprising absolutely everyone, myself most of all, I’m actually putting my third least popular fic in fourth place! The surprise there is that not so long ago, this was number one for my least favorite of my fics. Now, to be fair to the fic (and Selkie, who did the wonderful art and gave the prompt for CORB), my problem with it was very much me and the state of my brain when I was working on it. Point being that by the time I posted, I was so sick of writing it that I never wanted to read it again. But many months passed, and I thought, “Fine, I’ll give it a try,” and I actually didn’t hate it. In fact I liked it. In fact I’m a little proud of it. In fact I think of it semi-regularly in a fond way. (It also gets bonus points for the tag “Antagonistic Flirting,” because that is Baz at his best.)

5. A Restless Mind: This one still makes me feel soft and warm because it’s soft and warm and also the first fic I ever wrote. I have a very vivid memory of pulling my laptop out one night, opening a blank document, typing “I,” and then saying “nope, nope, can’t do it” and closing everything. Several months after that, I was still thinking about it and decided I could do it if I went with third person. And I did. And now my Ao3 word count is 280,836. Whoops.

6. For The Turtles: This one makes me soft and fuzzy in a similar but slightly different way, because it’s silly and fun and it was the first fic I ever posted. Which also means it’s the first time I ever experienced the straight shot of endorphins that comes with reading a beta’s comments of laughter and positivity in a document I was super nervous about sharing. So thank you again, Jess.

7. Caprine Attire: Again with the nostalgic and happy elements of the two fics above this. This is a sequel to For The Turtles that was never meant to exist, but it insisted on existing before I even decided to post FTF. I had a lot of fun with it, it still makes me laugh, and I remember very clearly the moment I wrote “Simon (1:12 pm): is it tyrannus basilton grimm pitch the fifth? or tyrannus the fifth basilton grimm pitch?? tyrannus five: the empire strikes backilton grimm pitch???”, cackling, and then saying, “Oh fuck, I have to post the first one now.”

8: Just A Prank: Another I had good fun with. I wrote it in a night, so it’s bite-sized and full of pranks and uni boys being stupid and also kissing. Just a good time.

9. The Definition of Platonic: Sweet, fluff, domesticity, friends-to-lovers, it’s cozy and feel-good. I depleted my stores of cutesy romantic feelings for this, but they’re refilled now, so all is well and I can reread it without huffing.

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats): Again, I just had a lot of fun writing this, and it’s nice and sweet and carries a lot of fond memories for me of my dog and rain and all that good stuff. Also I will always stan liar!Simon.

Please note that the exclusion of co-written fics is not a reflection of my affection for them, but is rather, of course, for the fact that I didn’t write them alone <3

I’m pretty sure literally everyone has done this by now, but I don’t know who for sure so I’m tossing out some tags for @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @urban-sith anyway and seeing what bites.

[nondelphic]

you know you’re a writer when…

you spend 30 minutes choosing the perfect synonym for “said” only to change it back to “said.”

you google “how long does it take to bleed out” at 3 a.m. and now the FBI is probably watching you.

you write one sentence, stare at it, rewrite it 14 times, and somehow end up back at the original version.

“this scene is so important” but you have no idea what the scene actually is or why it’s important.

you come up with the best story ideas… in the shower… with no way to write them down.

your characters feel like real people but also you’re like “who are these guys and what do they want from me?”

your brain says “start writing!” but instead you reorganize your desk, reread your notes, and spend two hours naming a side character who shows up once.

you’ve cried over your WIP exactly 67 times and will do it again because the pain is the point.

you reread something you wrote and think, “wow, did i peak as a writer three months ago?”

every writing session begins with the sacred ritual of scrolling social media, opening unnecessary tabs, and procrastinating until panic sets in.

you have no idea how long a chapter should be, so you just… vibe.

you can’t watch tv or movies without mentally critiquing the plot, dialogue, and pacing.

your writing playlist is 98% vibes, 2% songs you’ll actually listen to while writing.

you keep a “murder notebook” but swear it’s not suspicious because it’s for your novel (probably).

the phrase “just one more draft” is your eternal mantra, even though you’ve rewritten this thing more times than you can count.

[afterglowsainz]

i'mgonnagetyouback | max verstappen

part 2

summary: after you and max broke up you released an album about it and when you go on tour, you didn't expected max to be there front row after being dragged by his new girlfriend's daughter

warnings: none

word count: 877

a/n: this is kinda told in max's pov (?, also heavily inspired on taylor's eras tour and i slightly changed the lyrics of the song to relate it a bit more to max

the lights were out in the stadium but there was barely any darkness. the lights of flashes from phones and twinkling colored light bracelets illuminated the allegiance stadium in las vegas, every person there waiting for the one and only y/n y/l/n.

if you would’ve told max months ago that he was gonna be at her ex-girlfriend’s sold out concert the same weekend he was racing in vegas, he would’ve laughed in your face. but here he was, waiting with the other 69,000 people for her to show up on stage and sing all her hit songs, including the ones that she wrote about him after their breakup.

he had to remind himself that the only reason he was doing this was because of his new girlfriend's daughter, who begged them for weeks to take her to y/n’s concert or she would simply die. she was y/n’s biggest fan because, of course, karma had to do that to max. so there he was, in the vip section of the stadium without y/n’s knowledge, next to his new girlfriend and her daughter.

the lights on the bracelets turned off and the stadium went a bit darker than before, announcing the start of the show. when a huge clock on the stage came up and it reached the number zero, y/n came out singing the first song of the concert and the crowd went wild. max was immediately mesmerized by her. she hadn’t changed much since they broke up, that much he noticed, and she was as beautiful as ever.

he had to control himself not to sing along to her songs to not give his girlfriend a bad impression, even though her daughter was singing all her songs by heart. he just nodded and move along with the rhythm, avoiding the gaze of his girlfriend who was very well aware of her boyfriends history with the singer on stage.

y/n was singing her most famous songs and a few that were more lowkey, and when they reached the acoustic set of the concert, she was carrying a wide smile while playing a few keys on the piano. max smiled at the sight of her.

“hello, vegas!” she shouted at the microphone, making the whole stadium scream. “welcome to the acoustic set.” she smiled. “i’ve been meaning to sing different surprise songs every night, some that i haven’t played in a while, some others brand new. this one particularly is from my new album, i hope you enjoy it.”

max stopped breathing for a second. it was very well known with the public that y/n’s new album was about their breakup and she hadn’t sung any of those songs until tonight. he didn’t know what to do with himself or how to behave, so he simply crossed his arms and stood a bit further into the vip section. in the location he was he had a perfect view of her, but she hadn’t seen him all night.

soon enough y/n start singing one of the songs from the new album that max new for a fact was about him. he hadn’t listen to the whole album because he just didn’t want to relieve the breakup. in his defense he did try to give it a listen, but it was just to overwhelming for him so he had to stop listening mid-album, but this one he knew.

Lilac short skirt / The one that fits me like skin

max submerged himself in the lyrics and y/n’s incredibly familiar voice. only now she wasn’t singing just for him, but for thousands of people.

Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your car, I / Haven't decided yet / But I'm gonna get you back

a rebel smile appeared on his face, incapable of hiding how much she meant to him, how much he had missed her. seeing her there, singing her heart out on stage for a crowd of people who were crazy about her, god, how could he lost her?

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new / Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too" / Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

the smile on her face while singing the song she wrote made his smile even greater. he didn’t know the song fully like his girlfriend’s daughter, but he knew; he lived it, just as much as she did. in that moment in time, he felt connected to her in a level that no one in the stadium was.

I hear the whispers in your eyes / I'll make you wanna think twice / You'll find that you were never not mine / I'm gonna get you back

when the song finished, the multitude exploited in praise and y/n’s smile grew on her face. max completely forgot about everyone else and joined the crowd, screaming for her and applauding. y/n stood up from the piano and did a small bow before leaving the stage for her next set of songs.

it was as clear as day for max and it struck him like lightning. he was gonna get her back.

[i-love-ptv]

Please Don’t Think I’m Insecure ₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

You navigate your relationship with Rafe, but you can never escape that green-eyed monster.

Wc: 2,100

Angst, bit of comfort at the end?

An: First, sorry to the brunette girls, but im kinda projecting rn. BUT YAYYYY I WROTE ABOUT RAFE FOR THE FIRST TIME! I randomly got a burst of writing energy while listening to ethel cain (this has nothing to do w any of her songs, at least not purposefully if it somehow relates idk)

Feedback ALWAYS appreciated my loves!! xxx

You couldn’t help but feel envious of the brunette girls of the Outer Banks.

You found that they carry a different type of beauty, one that you couldn’t compare to.

Every time you glance and see your darling boyfriend, Rafe, being hounded by these girls, you swear you feel a piece of your soul being ripped from your body.

You and Rafe’s relationship wasn’t always smooth sailing. In fact, the two of you had broken up before, when he chose his drugs over you.

Every party, you’d see him snort lines, roll his blunts, and nearly drown himself in all sorts of liquor.

It killed you to leave him, but you remembered exactly why you decided to put the ultimatum on the table when he called you a “controlling, insecure bitch.”

You had never packed your bags faster.

You would stalk Topper and Kelce on instagram for months, just so you could search every background of every photo for the boy you were in love with.

You occasionally saw Rafe around the island, sometimes you’d stare a second too long, and he’d catch your wandering eyes. You never held eye contact, so you never saw how he’d frown at you. He wished he could read your mind, just to see if you think about him, like how he thinks about you.

You briefly remembered looking at your bedside table clock, after being abruptly awoken by thunks, on your window.

It was 2:33 in the morning.

At first, you ignored it, thinking it was just the rain picking up. But the thunk, thunk, thunk only continued, getting harder each time.

You slowly approached your window, knowing that if needed, you could easily run to your dad, and have him pull out his gun to deal with whatever was plaguing your slumber.

You quickly yanked your curtains open and slid the creaky window open. You really needed to have your parents deal with that.

You immediately looked down and saw none other than Rafe Cameron himself.

He was soaked to the bone, crouching in the grass, you assumed he was looking for more things to throw.

“Rafe..?” You whisper-shouted down at him.

He looked up at you like a deer in headlights, this allowed you to notice his blistering red face, and his semi-glossy eyes.

This was the first time that you saw his freshly buzzed hair in person, rather than from a distance.

You would’ve been lying if you said he didn’t look devilishly handsome.

“Jeez peach….You really are a heavy sleeper.” Rafe said with a watery chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

He hoped you didn’t notice the sadness in his voice, and if you did he at least hoped you wouldn’t mention it.

“God, Rafe, why didn’t you just come to the front door like a normal person.” You sighed, and with that, you closed the window and curtains.

Rafe’s eyes widened, his breath picked up, and he felt his stomach drop.

He rubbed at his eyes angrily, wiping away his salty tears.

He was too busy in his head, going over how ‘stupid and idiotic’ he felt for thinking you’d even consider taking him back after what he put you through a year prior, to notice you walking up to him.

“Rafe…Hun, please come inside…You’re going to get sick at this rate.” You muttered, rubbing your hand on his shoulder to provide an ounce of comfort.

You heard him gasp softly, but he refused to look into your eyes, that makes you frown.

You were outside in the pouring rain, in a robe and slippers, coaxing him into your house, and he couldn't even look you in the eyes?

You knew it wasn't right to feel this way, you thought it was that grudge that you held for what he did to you deep down.

Your mind was reeling, thoughts flying around like a flock of birds in the wind.

You didn’t know how to feel, seeing your ex-boyfriend, who hurt you so badly, outside of your house with tears in his eyes.

His tears.

His tears make you think of all the times he’d come over to your house, after seeking solace away from his father, who’d decided to pick another argument with the boy.

He would lay his head in your lap as you played with his long, silky brown strands of hair.

You would wipe his tears every single time he needed you.

It was always you who was there for him.

It was always you who’d understood him the most out of anyone on the damn island, hell, out of anyone on the entire planet.

You couldn’t help but think about all the times he’d lash out on you, while you’re going to retrieve a towel for him, and a fresh pair of his old clothes from your drawer. You had never given them back, you wanted a piece of your old, sweet Rafe, since it felt like that part of him had vanished.

You came back and saw him standing idly near the front door, lingering, you could tell he was too nervous to sit without permission, not wanting to overstep.

You hand him the clothes, he immediately recognizes his old ‘Kildare Athletics’ shirt, but of course, he decides not to mention it.

He had begun to strip in front of you, you quickly turned around, muttering a “Jesus Christ…” to yourself.

You heard rustling, then eventually heard a soft, “Done” escape from Rafe’s cracked lips.

You sat him on the couch, while you put his wet clothes in the bathroom; that was a task to deal with another day.

You couldn’t bring yourself to sit next to him, not trusting your sleepy judgment to keep you from babying him like you want to, like you used to.

You broke the silence by whispering, “Why are you here, Rafe? It’s so late…”

“God, it’s so weird to hear you call me by my name, normally it was always “baby,” or “puddin’.”

“Please Rafe, I’m not in the mood.” You exclaimed softly, your resolve slowly breaking down.

Rafe toyed with the gold signet ring on his finger, deciding what to say.

“I miss you peach…nothing’s the same without you. And I know..Before you say anything, I know I fucked up. I think about that everyday. I have since that day…” He paused, trying to find his words.

You looked at him, your eyes beckoning him to continue.

He noticed a glint in your eye, almost looking like hope, and it made him break down.

“I didn’t think I’d get this far..Uhm, give me a second please..” He was embarrassed, you could tell.

“I don’t get it Rafe, I thought you loved me…How could you do that to us..?” You choked on your words, feeling the tears start to build.

Rafe shot up at this, “I do!” He exclaimed, immediately regretting it when he remembered that your parents were just upstairs.

Your cat, Daphne, crawled into his lap, being startled awake by his yell.

He scratched behind her ears and continued, “Of course I do. I always did. I know I didn’t make it obvious, and I barely showed it, but I promise I did. Seeing you walk out that door made me realize just how much I love you.”

“I still don’t understand…” You murmur as you pick at the sleeve of your fluffy, cloud-like robe.

“I….I got scared, baby. Things between us were getting so..Real, I guess. I found myself thinking about you every second of the day, wondering where you were, thinking about who you were with, if that idiot JJ was still flirting with you like he used to..” Rafe gulps.

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone, so when it kept growing, I panicked, and ran. I turned to coke, and booze to try and gather myself. I felt pathetic, knowing that my day revolved on how yours went.”

Rafe’s shoulders shook, and you grabbed his hand, you intertwined your fingers with his, gripping him tightly.

That night, you told Rafe how you felt, then, and when the two of you were together. The conversation was hard on both of you, but by the time the sun was about to rise, you decided to give him another chance. Telling him how you wanted to take it slow at first, to make sure that you wouldn’t get hurt again.

Rafe flinched at this, feeling disgusted, knowing that he had made you build your walls up again.

Which brings you to today, you had gone off to find a water bottle somewhere in the crowded house.

When you finally were able to locate a few, and you walked back outside.

That’s when you saw it.

Rafe was talking to her.

Sofia.

It was no surprise to everyone that the two had dated months prior to you and Rafe getting back together.

They were the talk of the island, of course you had heard.

But they weren’t together anymore, Rafe came back to you.

So why do you still feel those anxious butterflies in your stomach? They feel like moths, flying around recklessly inside you.

You feel like you’re on the brink of vomiting.

A part of you wondered if he still wanted her,

If he got back together with you, then there was a possibility of him wanting to get back together with another one of his exes.

You want to confront the problem head-on, really! But the thought of doing so makes your legs feel like jelly in your flip-flops.

You turn around, quickly walking back inside the crowded house, searching every corner for a place to find a moment of quiet.

After hearing three different couples doing things they probably shouldn’t in a bedroom that wasn’t theirs, you found a small hall closet.

It felt weird, sitting in a somewhat cramped closet, begging for everyone and everything to just go away.

You’re sitting in the dark when you see a flash that lights up the closet: it’s your phone.

You look at it, the blaring sight of a text from ‘My Baby! 💞’.

You ponder for a moment, then decide to ignore it.

You hate feeling like this, feeling like you can be so easily replaced by someone you know is prettier than you.

Sofia was perfect; she was loved by all of the older folk at the country club. She carried herself with nothing but confidence. You wish you could feel the same.

Suddenly, your shorts start to feel like they’re two sizes too small, and your shirt shrinks by the second.

You wanted to be perfect.

Why couldn’t you be perfect?

Did you want it for yourself? Or do you want it for Rafe.

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear shouts throughout the hallway.

You glance at your phone and notice that over half an hour has gone by.

“Peach?! Peach, baby, where are you?!” You hear, and you feel yourself cower deeper into the closet.

The last thing you want is for Rafe to find you in here, crying like a little girl, wishing to be perfect for just a moment.

You hear the string of curses getting closer and closer to you.

You try to conceal your hiccups, by holding your hand over your mouth.

This makes it worse, you can’t catch your breath, but you don’t remove your hand.

Your head is pounding. Your chest hurts.

You quickly start sobbing, just wanting to disappear.

Without warning, the closet door is yanked open.

There you see your boyfriend Rafe, looking slightly out of breath, almost as if he was urgently trying to find you.

Light fills the room, and his arms quickly wrap around your frame.

You grip onto him harshly, trying to focus on the smell of his rich cologne against his skin.

Rafe pulls away slightly, looking at you with worried eyes that scan your frame.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, peach! Where have you been?! What’s going on?!” Rafe babbled.

You try to answer him, but only a pathetic squeak leaves your throat. You sob harder at this.

Rafe knows that it’ll be impossible to try and get anything out of you while you’re in this state.

So he continues to hold you, rubbing circles up and down your back. Soft hushes leave his lips as he tries to help you regain your breath.

Rafe knows he wasn’t a good boyfriend in the past, and it was always you who’d be there for him.

Now it was his turn to be here, for you.

sorry if the ending is rushed cuties, I couldn’t think of anything else and i wanted to get smth out for y’all😭

[strayingawayy]

to love and be loved...

...the one where unrequited love is a bitch, but seungmin's there and he's warmth embodied

the world has always felt like an inside joke you were never let in on.

love, whatever that (bitch) meant, was a language you never quite learned to speak. you’d seen it in fleeting glances, in the way couples curled into each other on the campus lawn, in the tired smiles your mother gave you after a long day, in the way chan's eyes shined as he watched his drunk girlfriend blabber, in the silences between the notes of a tchaikovsky symphony... but you'd never felt it, not really. not in the way they wrote about in books or sang about in songs.

until her.

your best friend, your sun, your orbit. and for a while, you thought maybe this was it. maybe love was soft laughter in between classes and shared playlists and whispered secrets at 2 a.m. but then it started to hurt, like an ache that nestled itself into your bones and refused to leave. you wanted too much, more than what was yours to have. and you hated yourself for it and maybe you hated her too.

it was stupid. you knew it was. jealousy burned ugly inside you when she drifted too far, when she made plans without you, when she looked at someone else like maybe they were her orbit instead of you. you clenched your fists and swallowed it down, because what right did you have to feel this way?

and when you finally told her, when the words slipped out, raw and trembling, she had looked at you with those gentle, pitying eyes- and god, how you hated pity, especially on her.

“i love you,” she had said, “but not like that.”

it should have been enough. but it wasn’t.

so you did what you always did. you shut down. you built walls and sat behind them, watching as everyone you loved stood on the other side, too far to touch. within reach, just not enough.

...

"are you even listening?"

seungmin’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, and you blink up at him from where you’re hunched over your laptop, the words on the screen blurring into nothing.

"hmm?" you mumble, trying to sound present as you fiddle with your rings to ground yourself.

he sighs, leaning back in his chair with an exasperated look. "we’ve been working on this project for an hour and you’ve contributed exactly three words, and one of them was ‘ugh.’"

you offer him a weak smile. "it’s a very versatile word."

"yeah? so is ‘failure,’ which is what we’re gonna get if you don’t start helping." but his tone is lighter than his words, teasing in a way that feels like an invitation to breathe.

you roll your eyes, leaning back and letting out a long, tired sigh. "sorry, i’m just… tired."

over the past few months, kim seungmin aka the stupidly pretty infamous everyone's campus crush had begun hanging out with you. what started of as a fist bump after a successful group project blossomed into something more. and you'd be lying if you said you didn't find the sound of his footsteps after yours endearing. the way his shadow flickered besides yours during the late evenings you shared, the way his pupils only ever dilated when he saw either the campus dogs, or you.

seungmin watches you carefully, and something in his expression shifts. "like... physically tired? or existential crisis tired?"

you snort. "little bit of both."

"great, same." he nudges your arm with his elbow, voice softer now. "what’s going on?"

you hesitate. it’s easier to keep it all locked up, to pretend everything’s fine until it isn’t. but seungmin’s eyes are patient, steady. and something in you cracks, just a little and just enough.

"i just feel… exhausted. like i keep giving and giving and i don't even know if there's anything left." your voice wavers despite yourself. "and no one ever asks. no one ever sees it."

seungmin’s brows furrow, and then he says it, so simple it nearly knocks the air out of your lungs. "i see it."

you blink. "what?"

"i see it," he repeats, quieter this time, hands fiddling with his sweater paws. god, fuck his little sweater paws. "you try so hard to keep everything together, but you never let anyone in. not really."

your throat tightens. "that’s because it’s easier that way."

"easier for who?" he asks, and the silence that follows feels heavier than anything else.

you don't have an answer. or maybe you do, but it’s buried too deep.

he sighs, nudging you again, this time gentler. "look, i know you’re used to dealing with things on your own. but you don’t have to, y’know? not with me."

something in your chest stirs, unfamiliar and terrifying and you find the words slipping out from your mouth before you can stop them. "why do you even care?"

he smirks, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "i’m just hoping if i stick around long enough, you’ll finally contribute more than ‘ugh’ to this project."

you let out a weak laugh, and it feels... nice. lighter.

"besides," he adds, voice somehow even quieter now, "i care because it’s you."

your heart stumbles over itself.

...

time passes, like it always does. slowly, surely, the sharp edges inside you soften. your best friend's absence doesn’t ache as much anymore, and seungmin. seungmin, who never demands, never pushes, just is, starts to fill the spaces she left behind in ways you never expected.

you realise it one afternoon, sitting across from him in the library because somehow you're always in the library. it's easier to exist there with him, between books and silent breathes. he’s flipping through a textbook, his lips pursed in concentration, and it hits you all at once.

love, real love, doesn’t have to be loud or all-consuming. sometimes, it’s just someone who shows up. someone who sees you even when you don’t want to be seen.

you exhale, a soft, shaky thing, and reach out to touch his hand. just lightly.

he looks up, surprised but not unhappy. "finally contributing?"

you smile, and this time, it’s real. "yeah. something like that."

and when his fingers curl around yours, you think that maybe, just maybe, you’re learning how to be loved.

[nadas-dirthalen]

Dragon Age: the Veilguard Was Packed with Lore — But Many of Us Overlooked It

— PART TWO —

[ 1 ]

Welcome back, friends and travellers. If you've been here a while, you'll know that I wrote 30,000 words of predictions in the week and a half before DA:tV released. But here's the most surprising thing—I was right, for the most part.

I spent my first Veilguard playthrough grinning (and then sobbing) at all the lore reveals. And here's the thing: I think most of us missed a lot of them, including even me.

So let's unpack some more.

Titans and Spirits: Dark and Light, Abyss and Fade, the Eternal Hymn and its Endless Listeners (2/2)

This is your warning: This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.

I've spoken a lot about the titans before. In fact, they make up the bedrock (lol) of many of my pre-Veilguard theories. While a lot of what I said a month ago has since become canon in Veilguard, there's a lot that remains as speculation.

Today, I'm going to talk about why I still stand by my theory from October: that the titans and the spirits have far, far more in common than we think, and that this is of vital importance for the next game(s).

Today's Discussion:

What Solas' Creation and Harding's Personal Quest Have in Common

Not Only Do Titans Behave as Spirits... Spirits Behave as Titans

The Dark and the Light, Sundered

Atonement Solas' Promise: He (Still) Seeks Regeneration

What Solas' Creation and Harding's Personal Quest Have in Common

Thanks to Veilguard (and the hints that came before it, if you're coming here from my previous posts), we know that Solas and Harding have far more in common than they think. Both are inexorably connected to the titans: Solas because his body was crafted from lyrium, and Harding because of how her Stone magic awoke after touching Solas' lyrium dagger.

I've theorized before that I think Solas is still connected to Isatunoll, but that the creation of the Veil altered or harmed this connection somehow. Veilguard touches on this with its implications: Solas says the blight senses his presence during the Minrathous portion of the endgame, and says during his Atonement ending that he is able to soothe the titans' anger. It also asserts, during Solas' Memory #3, that the ritual to create the Veil went wrong, wounding Solas in the process.

Both Solas and Harding, then, have to do with both the titans' past and their future. The Temple of Solasan is referenced when this codex in Trespasser mentions the titans needing to be forgotten, and we know now that Mythal and Solas would come to sunder the titans with the lyrium dagger. Solas is the reason the titans were forgotten, and is likely the source of the song "I am the One."

Harding, by contrast, is one of few dwarves whose magic has awoken. The Titan Shade in her personal quest demands that the world remember the anger and pain it has forgotten: the titans' sundering (as well as her own anger). The titans have no future without acknowledgement of their past, and so both Solas and Harding have instrumental roles to play going forward (assuming both are alive and have agreed to this).

It is evident, also, that the pain of being forgotten is traumatic to the titans. Cole mentions this several times in Inquisition, as referenced in the last post. Songs that once sang the same; titans stuck asleep, forgetting how to wake.

And here is where Solas and Harding's parallels really come to light.

This trauma forces Harding to make a choice with her Titan Shade. In every scenario, she acknowledges the Shade's pain. Her choice, then, is to embrace that pain and carry it in Compassion... or embrace the titans' anger, as well as her own. In other words, as is referenced by Stalgard...

I drew close, and the sound became something more. I could feel it, Lace Harding…. Rage, sorrow, and a vast loneliness. �� Codex: Letter for Lace Harding

Rage. Harding must choose between Compassion and Rage. We've seen this before. It comes up in Down Among the Dead Men, a story in the Tevinter Nights anthology:

Following a trauma, spirits are pushed toward changing. For so long in this franchise, we called these changes "demons," and still do. But the creature itself is not different—it just exists in a different state.

Emmrich says exactly this, equating spirits and the Titan Shade.

I once communed with a soul who shared a tale of deep sorrow from his youth. "So that the truth wouldn't be lost," he said. Interestingly enough, he could only bear to recall the event after death, when the memory had lost its sting. (l cannot share the tale. A Watcher must keep the confidences of the dead.) Your experience with what you call "the Titan's Shade" brought this anecdote to mind. As you say, in the first moments of your transformation, you were unable or unwilling to confront the depth of the Titans' sorrow. But unlike my friend, this pain was never quite your own. Instead of being trapped within, it fled elsewhere. — Codex: From Emmrich, on Sorrow Denied

We see, now, that the titans do the same thing. The only difference is that Harding is connected to the titan through Isatunoll; her spirit is not, itself, inside the titan. Put through a trauma, though, the titans turn. This is something I theorized as happening to Solas' titan upon his creation, because the trauma of the elves making bodies from its lyrium caused the titan to lash out and fight back, just like Cole says in DAI.

This is why both Solas and Harding are capable of soothing the titans' anger. It doesn't matter that Harding is a dwarf and Solas is one of the elvhen: both are still connected to their titan.

But as much as Veilguard tells us about the Titans being more similar to spirits than previously thought, it does not stop there. No: if you listen closely, Veilguard whispers to you that this similarity goes both ways. Spirits are more similar to titans than we ever could have imagined.

Not Only Do Titans Behave as Spirits... Spirits Behave as Titans

Something caught my eye during my very first Veilguard playthrough, super early on. Of course, I played the whole game through the lens of my own theories, wondering if there could be a connection between titans and spirits.

Immediately I saw, on the floor of a cell in the Ossuary:

I am Nyrys I was Nyrys I we were we are Nyrys — Note: Inmate Scribbling

Immediately, I was reminded of Harding's description of Isatunoll: "It means 'I am here.' But no, not 'I.' 'I' is singular. But it isn't 'we,' either. 'We' is multiple, but also separate... Isatunoll is the eternal hymn that encompasses all time. All spaces. I am. We are. This. That. Here. There. Now. And forever."

That seems to suggest that Nyrys, an inmate who was probably turned into an abomination, might be connected to Isatunoll. The note is written almost the exact same way that Harding is speaking. "But Lore," I hear you saying, "Couldn't that just be an abomination thing, a spirit struggling to share a body?"

I thought so, too. Right up until this.

Late after— (the handwriting abruptly alters:) a PEACE cut from the ALL golden stranded weaves PROTECTION CAGE keep them OUT keep me IN (Drawn below is a decagonal diagram of perfectly even, intersecting geometric lines.) — Codex: Lucanis' Logbook, 2

Understanding that Spite is likely writing with a phonetic understanding of the common tongue, we can interpret his words as 'a PIECE, cut from the ALL.' While I cannot say for certain what the rest describes (it could be Spite's opinion on the Ossuary, a reference to the titan's sundered dreams, or anything in between)... I know that these two first lines clearly talk about a spirit who has been cut away from something larger and grander than itself. The "all."

Now that sounds like Isatunoll, to me.

If you've been here since my October posts, you know where this is going. I've got to find a way to check this idea against other sources. And the first place I go, usually? The Chant of Light, for all the Chantry's evident faults.

I'm reminded of the creation of the Maker's first and second children.

Then the Voice of the Maker rang out, The first Word, And His Word became all that might be: Dream and idea, hope and fear, Endless possibilities. And from it made his firstborn. — Threnodies 5:1

That exact phrasing—"dream and idea, hope and fear, endless possibilities"—is used both in the creation of the Maker's first and second children. The spirits and the second children's souls. It is not used anywhere else in the Chant of Light.

At last did the Maker From the living world Make men. Immutable, as the substance of the earth, With souls made of dream and idea, hope and fear, Endless possibilities. — Threnodies 5:5

I've said before that I believe that all spirits originate as thoughts—namely, the thoughts of one or more of the titans. I think that even the souls of living people apply, here, despite what some of Emmrich's codices discuss. When you consider how Solas speaks about the Inquistor's spirit in DAI, it seems apparent that (at least to Solas) spirits and souls are interchangeable terms, when they belong to a living person.

Additionally, there is a manor in the Hossberg Wetlands that features an Obsession demon locked away that Rook must kill once they get to its location. The party speculates how the demon may have gotten there, and (I believe Rook) comments on how it is possible that the person from the manor themself may have become the demon.

That would imply that their soul was capable of doing so.

Now, let's go back to how spirits (the Maker's first children) and dwarves (the Maker's second children) are in possession of the same souls, per the Chant of Light. Understanding that the Chant of Light is flawed and that I do not believe that Solas is the Maker (rather, that Solas may have come from the titan that Andraste spoke to), I want to draw attention to this verse.

Then the Maker said: "To you, My second-born, I grant this gift: In your heart shall burn An unquenchable flame All-consuming, and never satisfied. From the Fade I crafted you, And to the Fade you shall return Each night in dreams That you may always remember Me." — Threnodies 5:5

It's important to note that the Maker says to his second-born (the dwarves) that they shall return to the Fade each night in dreams. Remember: the dwarves were once able to dream. More than that, though, the Maker says that the dwarves may visit the Fade each night in dreams to be able to connect with the Maker. They were, in fact, crafted with the "flesh of the Fade," a reference made to lyrium.

That implies a direct connection between the titans and the Fade. It suggests that, once, the titans also shared the Fade with other living creatures—or, perhaps, even more. I still believe that the Fade is the collective consciousness of the titans, and that reconnecting with the Fade is part of reconnecting with the titans because of that fact.

The Dark and the Light, Sundered

In a previous post, I theorized that, because Solas created the Veil and it seemed to have sundered the titans in addition to separating the Fade from the waking world, the Fade must be the titans' shared consciousness. We know now that those were two separate acts: Solas sundered the titans and put part of their dreams into the orbs that became the Evanuris' foci. For a time, I thought that this theory must be wrong.

However, in the same series of memories, we learned one more fact: his ritual to create the Veil went wrong. In Memory #3 (Blackened Hearts), he cries out in pain during the moment the Veil is created. This not only hurt the world, but exhausted Solas. Hurt Solas.

"He broke the dreams to stop the old dreams from waking. The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap." — Cole dialogue

This refers to the creation of the Veil. We know now that Solas created it, in part, to stop the blight from escaping—that would be the old dreams waking that Cole refers to. What's interesting is that Cole refers to this as Solas chewing off his own metaphorical leg to escape the trap. There was always a personal consequence for Solas referenced here.

But why? Why would being cut off from the Fade outside of dreams hurt him? Spirits exist on Thedas all the time. It is only the trauma of being pulled through the Veil against their will that turns them to demons.

To understand that, we must understand what the Fade even is. How it relates to the titans, and what that means going forward.

First, I want to take a look at this codex from Inquisition, which suggests that the water in the Abyss (the realm of the titans) may be the exact same thing as the emerald waters in the Fade.

It is possible—even likely—that the "emerald waters" Andraste refers to are the substance of the Fade, which began as an "ocean of dreams" (Threnodies 1:1) and was reduced to a well—bottomless but limited in scope—by the Maker's creation of our world. —Codex Entry: Here Lies the Abyss

There are other similarities between these two things that come up in Veilguard, if you're looking for them. The first, for me, is a codex.

What determines which sections of the physical world are echoed in the Fade? Is there an underlying logic, or glacial patterns past comprehension? Do our collective fears and longings craft what we see? The will of a mage is especially potent. We may learn to shape the Fade's pathways, if we are ever-mindful of the dangers this invites. — Codex entry: The Obverse of Reality

The phrasing here is very interesting. We know that Shaping is something that the titans once did. The dwarves, to this day, have the Shaperate, in charge of the Memories. To see that language applied to a mage's influence on the Fade implies that mages may exist the same power to manipulate the Fade as the titans did on the Stone, which suggests that the Fade and the Stone can be Shaped in the same ways. The similarity here does lend itself to a theory where the titans and the Fade are parts of the same being/collective.

The second is that one of the revenants—the Slaughtered Pillars, from Elvhenan's Haven—have a line of dialogue that jarred me the first time I heard it.

"Light and song, stolen."

We know that the titans being sundered took their songs away, for the dwarves (save for a few, now) do not hear the titans' songs anymore. It's the word light that gave me pause.

Three guesses as to where I looked for more instances of the word light. If you guessed the Chant of Light, the gigantic piece of lore with light in its title, you are correct!

The first mention I want to note is the very early in the Chant

Opposition in all things: For earth, sky For winter, summer For darkness, Light. — Threnodies 5:4

Note that Light is capitalized here, implying significance. Again, it appears here. Here, we're implying that capitalized Light refers directly to the Fade.

(11) Above them, a river of Light, Before them the throne of Heaven, waiting — Threnodies 8:11

And, lastly, and most prominently in Veilguard: the Lighthouse. Its name, in the elven language, is "Vhen'Theneras." Translated, though, that would mean, "core of dreams." Unless, of course, dreams and Light are the same thing.

But if the Light is indeed the Fade, and there must be opposition in all things according to the Maker, then where have we seen dark before?

We've seen it in the Abyss—aka, the Void. We've seen it in the darkspawn. Those blighted beings that emerge from the Deep Roads, aka the Abyss/Void. Remember that the blight itself is the escaped maddened dreams of the sundered titans. Darkspawn refers to the product of those escaped dreams—the ones not in the Fade/Light.

Crucially, the darkspawn behave in much the same way as anything connected to Isatunoll. They hear a Calling that, at first, belonged to the archdemons, but Antoine now says is coming from somewhere else, as well.

It's the description of Isatunoll that ties this all together for me: titans/their children and spirits, Abyss and Fade, dark and Light.

In a letter from Dagna to Harding, she describes Isatunoll — but in that description, she focuses on this idea that beings connected to a hivemind "know their purpose." Purpose is a word used by Solas all the time in DAI. Spirits have their own purpose.

Think about ants. Ants know what they are. They know their purpose, and they must understand, instinctually, how that purpose fits within the whole. But what if it doesn't end there? What if their consciousness isn't just individual? What if the nest itself knew what it was? A collective sentience of some kind. Nothing says the ants don't have a collective sentience. We just assume they don't, because they're ants. Ants. Or bees. Or darkspawn. Now, there's a thought. — Codex Entry: Thoughts on "Isatunoll"

What if consciousness itself is not individual? asks Dagna. What if the nest itself knew what it was? This explains the darkspawn, after all: the blighted beings who are all connected to the song of the Calling, and the maddened dreams the blight originates from.

The nest, except for that small trickle of escaped blight, is the Fade. The Fade, which is a place that responds to the collective wants and memories of those inside it. The Fade, whose pathways are shaped by the thoughts and wants of the people—especially mages—within it.

My theory is this: the creation of the Veil may have hurt Solas because Solas was still connected to his titan, and to Isatunoll. Some of his love of the Fade may be because he misses the titans' shared dreams—and, by extension, the shared dreams of every living person on Thedas (except the dwarves, and we know why that is).

Atonement Solas' Promise: He (Still) Seeks Regeneration

We know that the Fade is the collective consciousness of the Titans. Their shared dreams. We also know that not all titans are blighted, because the one in Descent is not. Harding's titan also is not, by the end of DA:tV. I posit that this is why much of the Fade, according to Solas in DAI, is far preferable to the Nightmare's domain that we get to see in DAI. Some of that shared consciousness is still healthy.

Easing the titans' anger, therefore, means fixing all of the Fade. Reconnecting the two might mean that the collective consciousness between all spirits could return to Thedas—and since at least elves' and dwarves' souls likely come from the same origin, it could do a lot to bring some of the people of Thedas together.

This, to me, is part of Solas' grand plan. It is not only to bring back the world from Mythal's time—it is to bring back the world before they broke so much of it, before the titans were sundered by his hand. After all: Solas seeks... regeneration. And that's something he promises us after Mythal leaves.

It's important to me, therefore, that Solas says the blight can feel his presence during the fighting in Minrathous. Not that Elgar'nan can detect Solas through the blight, but that the blight itself can feel him. Neve/Bellara, depending on who is taken, can reach out to protect Solas the very same way: by communing with the blight itself, feeling what it wants, and redirecting its course. We see, here, a hivemind in action.

We also know that Atoned!Solas promises to "soothe the titans' anger." This is something he promises to do from Fade Jail, implying that he is able to interact with the titans and their anger from the Black/Golden City. This implies that the Fade itself, as a realm, is a means of communing with the titans, not just a specific spot within it.

The Veil coming down was always going to un-sunder the titans, and that was always one of the true aims of Solas' goals. Even if it meant blighting the world at first and effectively causing the apocalypse, the titans would eventually feel soothed. The Veil is a wound inflicted on this world, Solas has said before... and we know now that it was.

This section, short as it is, is just me telling you that Solas is still able to achieve those ends from Fade Jail. Just because the Veil is now bound to Solas' life force does not mean that the titans can no longer heal.

This buys us valuable time, allowing the titans' anger to soothe before their consciousness is restored, so that the transition is gentler. It promises hope for all of Thedas going forward. It might even promise a healthier, more stable Fade, shaped by dream, idea, and hope more than fear.

But what will that mean for future games? What could the Fade have to do with what's to come?

Why is now the time that the Executors and "those across the sea" want to make their big planned move on Thedas? Why is now when the "poison fruit" has ripened?

Like many of you, I hope to figure it out—and I feel that every day, I get closer.

Stay tuned. :)

___

If you read this far, you're a hero, now and always.

Like I keep saying: I have to absorb this lore day by day! I cannot inhale the entire wiki in a day, much as I'd like to believe I could! That means that future posts can't adhere to a strict schedule, as they depend on me unearthing enough codices, notes, and connecting threads to provide a post's worth of material.

In future, I'm hoping to learn more about: the Forgotten and Forbidden ones, as well as the connections between them; the Executors, those across the sea, and the connections between THEM; the areas across the sea; the Devouring Storm and what it could mean for Thedas' existence... and maybe how Ghilan'nain was ever connected to any of it.

Stick with me on this journey, if you like. It's fun to keep theorycrafting and yelling with you all. <3

[sunoostripletriple]

The other side of the moon y.jw ff

/ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅpairing: Enhypen Yang Jungwon x Reader

/ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅgenre: fluff, a bit suggestive, plot twist?! (maybe)

༊*·˚♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

Synopsis:  After a long awaited moment you finally get to see your one and only true love. The person you've been anticipating to see so desperately has finally come to see you.

It's been a while since you finally got the chance to sit down and look at the beautiful night sky. The full moon shining so brightly right at you. 

You feel a sudden rush of sadness, as you reminisce about the dates you've had with your boyfriend, who is now away for an important business trip. 

He’s been on the trip for almost 2 months, and you still have to wait for him to come back for another 5.

Having a boyfriend who is an idol gets you worried, often wondering about what would happen if people were to find out that you guys were together. This thought had you going through so much overthinking ever since you guys got into a relationship. But no matter what, Jungwon always reassures you, saying that his fans are the nicest people he has ever come across, and that even if they find out you're both together no one can split you guys up.

You suddenly remember that Jungwon, your boyfriend recently wrote a new song for their upcoming album and decided to listen to the demos he sent you.

Hundred Broken Hearts

Oh, how you missed his sweet, sweet voice. The more you listened to the song, the more it made you want to desperately run into his arms and give him the sweetest kiss ever, letting him know how badly you have missed him.

Moonstruck

Listening to this song had you blushing from the beginning till the end. You can't help but imagine how far you and Jungwon have gone in this relationship. You can't even lie and say that it has you giggling and blushing like a little girl at some parts of the song.

After listening to the song demos, you couldn't help but send a message to your significant other. 

“I miss you so much, love.”

“Please come back soon.”

You know it's a bit early in the country where he is right now. Even if you message him right now, it would probably take him hours till he can finally reply back to you. However, it seems like fate has other plans for you, and soon your phone starts to ring.

Bzz bzz bzz

The phone continues to ring, making you check to see who is calling you at this late hour.

“It’s Jungwon!” You say. Smiling and answering the phone call from your boyfriend.

Phone call [jungwon]

You: hey babe!

Jungwon: Hey honey bunz. I missed you!

You: why are you up so early? You should sleep more!

Jungwon: I couldn't stop thinking about you all night, I couldn't even sleep a wink. You hear him chuckle on the other side.

You: hey! I can hear laughter, you know. You say pouting. I’m just worried you haven’t got the rest you need, with that hectic  schedule you guys have with that tour. 

Jungwon: Don't worry babe, I’m doing just fine. You know I’m a strong guy so don’t stress about it, okay?

You: Fine.. if you say so.

Jungwon: anyways!! I wanted to call you since I wanna just spend my day off talking to my one and only love and talk about how we met.

You: I was literally just thinking about that too!

Jungwon: Remember that one time at the park? Where we first met?

You: Yeah, and please don’t remind me. I looked so ugly that night. You even had to see my ugly crying face.

Jungwon: Oh please! You looked beautiful! If anything, me seeing you that night was when I first fell for you.

Jungwon: You could say that it could have been ‘love at first sight’

You chuckle at his response.

You: I had mascara running down my face and you’re telling me you fell for me that same night?

Jungwon: Mhmm. He hums. I really did!

You: Stop lying. You protest back. 

Jungwon: Anyways let's move on from that.

You: Actually, I’m thinking of going on a walk to that same park right now. Should I?

Jungwon: Sure! Whatever eases your mind, cutie. 

You: Let me get ready and I’ll call you again when I get to the park.

Jungwon: Alrighty then. Stay safe and make sure to look left and right when crossing. I love you

You: yes mother. I love you too.  You say jokingly as you end the call with Jungwon.

You put your phone down as you walk over your dresser to put on one of the hoodies that was given to you by your boyfriend. “This should keep me warm enough.” you say as you also put a beanie and sneakers on to complete your look.

“I’m so glad the park is only a few blocks away from my place.” you say with relief as you cross the empty street towards the entry of the park. “I should probably call him again.” and not even a few seconds later your call was answered right away.

Phone call [jungwon]

Jungwon: Did you make it safely?

You: Mhmm. You hum softly. I’m by the playground where we always hang around.

You: Wishing you’re right next to me right now.

Jungwon: Just keep wishing then maybe it’ll come true.

You giggle at his silly suggestion and walk over to the swings near the bench you guys first both met. 

You: Maybe I will. You say as you sit yourself on the swing.

Jungwon: Baby.. 

You: Yes?

Jungwon: You know how badly I missed your voice? Your touch? Your kiss? And the way you play with my hair? I missed your everything so badly my love.

You: Me too, love. I miss you so much.

Jungwon: I bet the moon looks just as beautiful as you tonight my love.

Unbeknownst to you, someone, not far from your current location is looking your way and adores how you look at the moon just above you. A sweet and fond smile forms on his lips showing his cute cat-like features.

 You: Saying that while you’re not next to me is just a crime you know. A pout forming on your lips.

A snicker is heard between the trees not far from you causing you to turn your head. You pay no mind to it as you realize you might have just imagined it.

Jungwon: You know each and every word I say is the truth and nothing but the truth. I wouldn’t say something I don’t really mean and you should know that by now. 

You: You win this time, Yang Jungwon.

Jungwon did his best to stay hidden, crouching behind the trees with all the stealth he could muster. He squinted at the lamppost in the distance, watching Y/N pace back and forth as her voice echoed faintly through the phone pressed against his ear.

Everything was going smoothly—well, until the mosquitoes decided to crash his little stakeout.

A couple of them buzzed around his face like tiny, winged nuisances, one especially bold intruder hovering dangerously close to his nose. Jungwon froze, scrunching his face in a valiant effort to hold it back. But the tickle was relentless.

“Achoo!”

The sneeze erupted, louder than he intended, startling even the crickets. He froze, his eyes wide with panic as Y/N’s voice cut off mid-sentence.

“Wait... Was that—” Y/N paused, tilting her head. “Did you just sneeze on the phone? Or… wait, was that from the trees?”

Jungwon mentally facepalmed, realizing his sneeze had betrayed him not once, but twice.

“Uh... bless me?” he mumbled weakly into the phone, but Y/N was already walking toward the lamppost, her curiosity piqued.

“Jungwon?” she called out, stifling a laugh as her eyes scanned the darkened trees.

From his less-than-perfect hiding spot, Jungwon let out a resigned sigh. “Stupid mosquitoes,” he muttered under his breath, preparing to come out before he made an even bigger fool of himself.

“Surprise?!” Jungwon jumps up with both hands mimicking a Peek-a-boo like pose.

You end the call that was still on-going on your phone and wrap your arms around him.

“I missed you so much” You say as you place your hand on his cheeks looking up at him from his chest.

“So much for a cool surprise am i right?” he laughs as he places a soft kiss onto your plum lips. Oh how he missed the touch of your lips right up on his and how long he has waited to finally see you and feel you right up on his arms once again.

“Just as I mentioned earlier. You’re just as beautiful as the moon tonight my love.” he says before continuing on with giving you the most passionate and heart melting kiss you’ve ever had your whole life. The sweet taste of cherry with a mix of strawberry from both yours and Jungwon’s chapstick just couldn’t explain how much you both have been wanting this moment to never stop. A slick of saliva comes out as you both slowly pull away to take a break as you both try to catch your breaths.

“Why are you here?” you ask as you finally realized that your boyfriend who’s supposed to be in America is now back in Korea right in front of you. “Weren’t you supposed to be in America right now with the boys?” you continue to ask.

“I lied and told them I’m homesick and that I’ll join them again in 2 weeks” He chuckled knowing how you’ll probably make this into a big deal.

“What do you mean join them again?? You guys are on a tour, Jungwon wouldn’t you get in trouble when they find out you only came back to see me?” You say as you bombard him with a series of questions not even letting him interrupt you.

“What are you saying, y/n? You are home. You’re my home.” he says as he pulls you by the waist for another hug whilst giving you a small peck on your temples.

You blush at his actions and just lay on his chest as you comfortably feel the beat of his heart slowly rising. The sound of his comforting humming sounds just like a lullaby and you can never explain how much warmth it gives. You slowly lose consciousness as you lay next to your lovely boyfriend knowing nothing is ever going to separate the two of you till the end of the world. 

“Wake up! Wake Up!!” you feel a weak push on your side. Not wanting to wake up, you turn around and ignore whoever is trying to wake you up.

“I said wake up! Wake up, alweady!” the small figure next to your sleeping body grows frustrated as you show no signs of wanting to wake up.

“If you don’t wake up right now, I’m going to tattle on daddy.” the little girl sulks both rosy cheeks puffing out in annoyance.

Just from the word ‘daddy’ got you opening both eyes wide open in shock. “Daddy?” you repeat. “Yeah, Wonnie papa.” the little girl says.

“Daddy said I should wake you up since we're going on a twip today!” the girls exclaim in excitement. 

“Ahh is that what daddy said Yeonie?” you ask your daughter.

“Yup!! I hope we’re going to lotte world today! I’m so excited mommy!” little Yeonie says as she jumps on the mattress. “Well you should get ready then so we can head out soon, alrighty sweety?” you give Yeonie a kiss as you lead her back to her room.

You sigh as you realize the dream was all just a flashback from 3 years ago. The same occurrence happens once every full moon. It's like a little recall on the most heartfelt moment you’ve ever had in your whole life.

“Honey, are you in there?” you hear a familiar voice and a knock on the bedroom door. You open the door not to only see your husband but also your first and last love. Yang Jungwon.

༊*·˚♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

a/n: sorry for not being able to post for awhile pooks. If I'm being honest I did unfortunately lose the motivation to write for awhile and due to my work schedule i haven't been able to do much on this app;-;;;. I've also had this ff in my drafts for awhile now and haven't been able to finish writing it until now so I hope you guys will love this one.

taglist: @velvetkisscs @random-potat @yoizhrs

[81folklore]

this is me trying - LECLERC

pairing: charles leclerc x small!singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo)

summary: after a twitter thread was made talking about the struggles you faced in a horrible way, you release a song you wrote with charles to talk about it

authors note: i am in no way saying olivia has struggled with or is dealing with anything mentioned in this story. this song means alot to me as someone who struggles with both addiction and my mental health so if im projecting..no one needs to know😁 i honestly have no clue how this is going to turn out but we will see. anything in bold italics is french

warnings: talks of addiction, depression, anxiety and suicide. alcohol addiction, drugs and self harm are all mentioned. the topics of this is me trying are mentioned, for obvious reasons but in a more personally focused way (if that makes sense). unwarrented hate (?). nothing really goes into detail but just regular warnings, please reach out to someone if you are struggling!!

authors note 2: i had to dust this one off and I HATE IT. its literally my least favorite work ive ever done so please feel free to keep scrolling😭😭 i just kept projecting by accident and it honestly kind of got out of hand. im also SO BAD with my wording so i have no clue if any of it sounds how i wanted it too!!

authors note 3: after reading it over i realised i never actually explained what i was talking about in the song thread so quickly, charles’ and yn split for a short period after yn started shutting him out, she spoke to someone (the stranger) who helped her start to extend the branches back out to charles and they got back together around 11 ish months before the song was released!! the fans never knew why they broke up, there was some speculation but most of it was dropped when they got back toegther

masterlist

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 2,457 others

good food, yummy people😋

view comments

arthur_leclerc: you mean good people yummy food right?

yourusername: suuure😁

charles_leclerc: beautiful girl

yourusername: love you!!

user7: what is charles doing in the 5th picture😭😭

yourusername: he dropped his airpod😭

user10: girl have you seen twitter…

user75: charles run as fast as you can

user2: there is no way charles knew he’d never be with someone like that💀

user10: what and he’d be with someone like you??

user6: wait what is happening in these comments what happened on twitter?

user7: someone made a thread ‘exposing’ yn but its just a bunch of bullshit that his fans are using because they dont like yn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 3,562 other

studio time with baeee💋💋

view comments

charles_leclerc: my favorite musician💐

charles_leclerc: i love you so much

yourusername: you mean the world to me charlie

pierregasly: kika wants to know if she can come next time

yourusername: tell her to text me so we can arrange it!!

user73: oh my god new music soon

user64: does this mean charles is on her new music?!

yourusername: maybeee

user64: GIRL DONT TEASE US LIKE THIS

user99: im so sorry about whats happening on twitter you dont deserve that

user2: yes she does

arthur_leclerc: can you tell charles to stop talking about your music when im not allowed to hear it, please🙏

yourusername: sorry arthur!! wanna come for a car ride and listen to it with us??

arthur_leclerc: please please please

user82: yn and charles taking arthur on a car ride to listen to her new song, oh what if i cried😭😭

arthur_leclerc added to their story

seen by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 86,289 others

*text in first picture reads: 🤍🤍* *text in second picture reads: so unbelievably proud of my sister*

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and 8,215 others

if you had told me a year ago that not only would i still be here but i would be releasing a song talking about the darkest times of my life with the love of my life by my side i would never have believed you.

throughout the past few months i have revisited times of my life i wish i could have left behind but ive learnt that accepting that this is a part of me now is important in my journey of moving forwards, and in moving forwards ive learnt that my struggles do not define me and i wont be embarrassed by things that have affected me

sometimes i wish i could go back and erase that part of my life, erase the way i felt, erase the way i treated the people i loved the most. but i cant, and i wont let people belittle me for that time anymore

if you have struggled in the past or are struggling today, you are not alone. its a cliche thing to say but i promise you at least one other person will be experiencing the feelings your feeling, you may not know them, you may never know them but you are not alone, you never have been and you never will be

you are not weak for struggling, you are not weak for finding ways to cope, no matter what they may be, you are not weak for shutting people out and you are not weak for reaching out for help, no matter how little you think you need it. you deserve help, no matter how small your problems may seem to you, you are worthy of being safe, you are worthy of being happy

i never thought i would release a song highlighting those times for me, but i wanted anyone whose been through these things to know that i love you and i will always love you; this is me trying out now on all platforms❤️‍🩹

view comments

arthur_leclerc: i am so so proud of you, you deserve all the happiness in the world

charles_leclerc: you mean the world to me, i am so proud of what you have achieved and i will be by your side forever and always

yourusername: charlie i hold so much love for you i feel like i may explode

user55: ive been struggling with an addiction for a while, i cannot express the way this song feels. just, thank you so much

yourusername: im right beind you darling, i believe in you❤️‍🩹

user81: i fear if i listen to this anywhere outside of the comfort of my room i will break down in tears

user93: 🩵🩵

user42: I😭JUST😭WANTED😭YOU😭TO😭KNOW😭THAT😭THIS😭IS😭ME😭TRYING😭

sebastianvettel: im so proud of you yn, come visit with charles soon sweetheart

yourusername: dropping everything and coming right now

lewishamilton: 💜💜

yourusername: hi lewis🤭🤭

user70: YN HELP😭😭 (just like me fr)

charles_leclerc and yourusername added to their stories

seen by pierregasly, sebastianvettel and 2,348,172 others

*text on first photo reads: i hold so much love for you🩷* *text on second photo reads: my bestest friend in the entire universe🩵*

[badabidiboo]

see you again ꩜.ᐟ

pairing: guitarist winter x reader

wc: 3.4k

a/n: wrote most of this like 2 months ago and absolutely did not read over what i wrote so if anything’s incoherent i apologize 😞

the day of the concert

the concert in itself wasn’t very important for you, so you decided to wear quite a simple outfit which consisted of a short sage green summer dress paired with your favorite doc martens, along with a black leather jacket.

you decided to let your hair down and didn’t bother with a complicated hairstyle, choosing to simply use your hairdryer and style it into a blowout.

you hurriedly finished doing your makeup for the night and ran out the door, realizing you were running late as the venue doors were supposed to be opened in only 10 minutes, and you lived 20 minutes away from it…

after having to run down the stairs because of the elevator coincidentially being on maintenance, almost tripping multiple times,

you reached the parking lot of your apartment where your friends were waiting in their car.

‘’where were you for god’s sake?’’ areum yelled from the driver seat of her car. you ran to the backseat and got inside, areum backing out of her parking spot almost instantly. ‘’sorry i lost track of time’’ you spoke apologetically as you knew how important this concert was for your friends, even if it wasn’t for you.

‘’if we end up being late and can’t get in i swear i will end you y/n’’ harin spoke, sitting next to you on the backseat. ‘’don’t worry girls, i’m sure we’ll be there on time’’ juwon spoke cheerily from the passenger seat, only because of how proud she felt that she had managed to convince you to come to the concert with them.

indeed, you refused to go to this concert with your friends juwon, areum, and harin. you were usually always up for hangouts, but the band that the girls were going to see at that concert was one you knew nothing about.

the girls begged you for two weeks straight until juwon convinced you (bribed you) to come to the concert in exchange for the camera that you had dreamt of owning for the past three years.

so here you were, on your way to the concert venue. ‘’what was that band’s name again?’’ you asked as harin rolled her eyes in annoyance, she had told you so many things about the band, yet you seemed to be so uninterested that you were unable to remember any of it. ‘’it’s aespa, how come you can’t ever keep it in mind?’’

‘’well why take me to this concert if i don’t even know the band’s name?’’

‘’i’ll play some of their songs so you can get to know them before the concert then!’’ juwon declared as if she was on cloud nine.

as areum drove as fast as she could, you listened to a few of aespa’s songs, and you couldn’t deny that you had enjoyed some of them.

you finally got to the venue and saw a long line forming in front of the doors which were meant to open any second now. the girls ran to avoid being any further in line than they already were about to be, dragging you with them in the process.

after endless pushing and pulling, you eventually entered the venue and managed to find the spot you had bought tickets for. you looked up at the stage and realized you had actually gotten pretty good spots with an open view on the stage.

the venue filled up and the band members’ arrival was announced. the crowd was wild, jumping cheering loudly as the four members stepped on the stage.

after a few words, the concert started with the first song that the band played, which was called ‘’drama’’. you found yourself bobbing your head to the song from time to time as you recalled listening to it in the car on the way to the venue.

the band’s songs were mostly in the rock category, sometimes switching for an indie or even an rnb sound.

you gazed at each member, admiring their talent for singing, but also for playing instruments. you managed to identify each member, giselle being the drumist, karina at the bass, ningning as the vocalist, and finally winter at the electric guitar.

none of the members particularly caught your attention, until you started to catch one of them consistently staring at you each time you stared at her, it was winter.

why does she keep looking at me? you wondered silently. no, i’m probably mistaken, you convinced yourself, only to find her staring at you once again the next second.

you opted to do the best thing you could ever do, which was to pretend like you hadn’t noticed anything. you absent-mindedly bobbed your head and vibed to some of the songs you seemed to like, mainly to not seem like you were forced to come here (even if it was the case).

after a few moments of interacting with the fans, the band members bid their goodbyes to the audience and left the stage. however, you caught winter in your peripheral view turning her head to glance at you one last time before she disappeared backstage.

the concert eventually ended as the venue quickly emptied. you followed you friends to the exit and found your way to the huge lobby where drinks, food, and even merch were being sold.

the line to the merch stand seemed to be never-ending when you joined, since the girls viewed it as a living necessity to buy the goodies and the pieces of clothing that were sold.

‘’hey i’ll go to the bathroom real quick’’ you told the girls to which they nodded understandingly, since the line was still long ahead of you, and you weren’t gonna buy any merch anyway.

the bathroom was thankfully empty as everybody’s priority was to obviously buy merch at the stands. you left within a few minutes after washing your hands and fixing your hair and makeup in front of the large mirror on the wall.

as you walked out, you accidentally bumped against a girl, knocking your shoulder against hers. ‘’oh i’m so sorry i didn’t see you there!’’ you quickly apologized to the girl who seemed to be slightly older than you. ‘’it’s all good, don’t worry’’ she smiled brightly before walking past you to leave.

you were about to walk down the wide hallway to join your friends in the lobby, until you heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.

‘’what do you think you’re doing?’’ the person interrogated with a husky voice.

you turned around and saw the girl you had bumped into just a second ago looking up with eyes full of fear. you looked at the person who had just spoken and realized it was the girl who couldn’t stop staring at you during the concert. wait, what was her name again? you suddenly couldn’t remember.

you watched as she held the shorter girl by the arm, her grasp preventing her from walking away. she looked down at her with piercing eyes as she waited for the girl’s response, who started speaking with a wobbly voice ‘’i-i… what do you mean?’’ she smiled guiltily.

‘’then what did you just take from her? i’m pretty sure i saw you… stealing something’’ my eyes widened as i patted myself down and realized something was missing in my pocket, it was my wallet.

‘’hand it over, or i’ll have you banned from ever attenting any of our shows’’ the taller girl spoke with an ice cold voice, her eyes reciprocating that same feeling.

out of fear, the girl you had initially thought seemed sweet reached into her jacket’s pocket and took out your wallet which she had stolen by purposefully bumping into you.

she handed it to me as i took it and instantly checked that everything i had was still in it. after being sure that nothing was taken, i looked up and saw the girl briskly walking away in embarrassment.

‘’nothing’s missing right?’’ the girl asked with her usual low voice. ‘’n-no, everything’s still in here’’ you spoke with an unexpectedly quiet, almost brittle voice.

you didn’t know how to act since you knew she was a member of the band, but somehow couldn’t remember her name. ‘’i saw you in the crowd, you didn’t really seem to enjoy the show’’ she stated as she leaned against the wall.

you felt slightly guilty as you answered ‘’o-oh no i was, sorry if it didn’t look that way’’ you quickly apologized, debating within yourself whether you should tell her the truth or not.

‘’it’s just… i’m not really a fan of your band. my friends really wanted to bring me here so i ended up saying yes but-‘’ ‘’but you don’t actually know us, am i right?’’ she spoke almost teasingly with a smirk. you felt blood rush to your cheeks after she guessed what you were about to say, as you could only hope she wouldn’t see it. ‘’yes… but i do know some of your songs! rock isn’t quite… my cup of tea, but i do like a few songs my friends introduced me to!’’ i smiled, trying to save myself from the slightly awkward situation.

you realized you still couldn’t remember her name, and decided it would be best to just ask instead of humiliating yourself later on. ‘’i’m so sorry this is gonna sound so stupid but i forgot your name. i had everyone memorized but somehow i can’t remember yours anymore’’ i admitted all in one breath, hoping she wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

to my surprise, her smirk widened as she snickered ‘’don’t worry, my name’s winter’’ she answered to which my eyes slightly widened as it finally hit me, and i clearly remembered the moment where harin was teaching me the band members’ names.

‘’that’s right i remember now!’’ i exclaimed, not noticing how winter looked me up and down. i looked up and saw her tongue slightly sticking out from the side of her mouth, until she realized i could see it and quickly fixed her face expression.

‘’what’s yours?’’ she asked while crossing her arms. ‘’oh, my name’s y/n’’ i smiled warmly ‘’that’s a cute name, suits you’’ she smirked once more.

did she ever not smirk? you started to notice how frequently she smirked even during the concert, even while she stared at you every so often!

winter seemed to be deep in thought for a few seconds until she reached into her pocket and handed me something which looked like a card.

‘’what’s this?’’ i asked in confusion as i slowly took the item in my hands. ‘’it’s a pass for everytime we have a concert, they’ll let you in if you show them this’’ she explained as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

‘’oh t-thank you’’ i smiled. i didn’t quite understand why she had given me it, as i wasn’t even a fan. ‘’s-sorry why did you give me this? i mean i couldn’t even remember what your name was’’.

she smirked again, pushing herself off the wall as she stepped closer to me, making me look up to her as she was taller. ‘’i’d like to see you again, princess’’ she winked before turning around and disappearing behind a corner.

i stood there as if i was frozen in place, looking at the direction in which she left before i lowered my gaze to the card she had given me.

after joining my friends, we bought some food and drinks before we left the building.

a few days later

you had gone back to your daily routine, leaving your apartment early every morning to go to college where you had lectures everyday.

after hours of taking notes and focusing on the lectures, you exited the campus and decided to walk to your favorite cafe.

as you entered the nicely decorated cafe, giving it a cozy vibe, you sat down at the very back and took out your laptop to work on an essay you had to hand in soon.

you typed quickly on the keyboard while sipping on your coffee every now and then, the caffeine helping you stay energized and focused.

after a few hours, you finally finished your essay and decided to go home since it was getting dark.

while walking on the sidewalk, you were scrolling through your phone and came across a post about aespa, which showed the days and schedules when they would hold events such as fan meetings and concerts.

you noticed that the next concert was in just a few days, and that it was in a venue about 10 minutes away from where you lived.

thinking back on how winter had spoken to you and given you that card, you contemplated whether to go or not. after all, she did tell you she would want to see you again, didn’t she?

you took out the pass you had safely kept inside your bag and read the writings on it. just like winter had told you, the card had a qr code on it, probably to be scanned in order to prove its authenticity.

you reached the front of your apartment and entered as you kept wondering whether you should go to the concert or not. on the one hand, you felt like you also wanted to see winter again, but on the other hand what would you even do there? you barely knew any of their songs after all.

‘’i should probably not go, the girls would probably feel sad that i got to go without them, especially since i don’t even like the band as much as they do…’’ i thought to myself as i locked the door to my apartment behind me.

yes, this is the right decision to make, you convinced yourself.

the next day was a pretty calm one as you didn’t have any lectures, choosing to enjoy it with your friends. areum, harin, and juwon came to hangout at your place.

you had decided to order takeout and eat together while watching a movie we had all been wanting to watch, yet couldn’t seem to find an opportunity to do so together.

after the movie ended, aespa was brought up again, as it was the girls’ favorite topic. you didn’t know whether you should tell them what had happened with winter or not, until areum noticed how quiet you were.

‘’hey y/n, are you alright?’’ she asked as she searched for your eyes until you met her gaze.

‘’huh? oh yeah, why?’’ you tried to lie, but the three girls knew you all too well and instantly realized something had indeed happened.

after desperately trying to change the topic or even lie that nothing had happened, you ended up telling them the truth about you running into winter, and her giving you the pass. you even went into detail about the princess nickname she had used on you (frankly, it had you blushing a little and fighting the few butterflies that you had felt in your stomach).

the girls were shocked and even hurt that you had waited so long to tell them about all that had happened while you were away.

‘’and you didn’t tell us earlier because?’’ asked juwon with clear hurt on her face as she crossed her arms.

you didn’t really know how to answer, and finally decided to tell the truth.

‘’well… i thought you guys would be mad or jealous that i got to go to their other concerts on my own. especially since you guys are the actual fans-‘’ i got cut off by harin.

‘’what do you mean be mad or jealous? do you seriously think we would react like that?’’ she asked with furrowed eyebrows.

areum agreed with a quick nod ‘’yeah! look, if you wanna go it’s up to you, we wouldn’t feel hurt by it or anything’’ she reassured.

juwon finally spoke ‘’well actually only under one condition’’ she said as she got the three of us staring at her in puzzlement. ‘’only if you promise to get us their autographs’’ she stated with crossed arms.

the two other realized juwon was right and nodded, showing that they sided with her. i smiled at them and nodded ‘’okay then, i’ll make sure to get those autographs for you’’ i said which caused them to cheer happily as they jumped around in joy.

two days later, on the day of the concert, you started getting ready, somehow feeling like you had to look nicer than you did the previous time.

you chose to wear a black wrap skirt with a black halter top along with your favorite black kitten heels. you picked out the pieces of jewellery that fit the outfit best, and finished the look by curling your hair before styling it into a half up half down.

after doing your makeup with care, you left you apartment and this time, managed to take the elevator as it was no longer on maintenance.

areum, who was the designated driver, had insisted on taking you as she reassured it didn’t bother her. she left after dropping you off and promised to come pick you up again after the show, which had started to make you nervous as you couldn’t help but imagine winter’s reaction to seeing you again.

as you entered the venue, you looked for a good spot and ended up pretty close to the stage, only a couple of rows in front of you. slowly, the venue filled up with people, the room which was once quiet, was now loud with the excited chatters of the fans.

the lights slowly turned off as the crowd started to cheer. you looked up at the stage and saw the members appear on the stage one by one from being the curtain.

you looked closely and recognized winter, who seemed to be scanning the crowd, looking for something. she couldn’t possibly be looking for you, right?

after a short introduction, the music started playing, and the concert finally started. you noticed winter’s searching eyes constantly darting around the room, while trying to be discreet about it. everytime she lowered her eyes back onto her guitar, you could notice the disappointment on her face.

then, while she was looking at the crowd once again, her eyes met yours, a sudden sparkle making its appearance into her once dull eyes. she smirked, showing that she had noticed (and remembered) you.

you noticed her demeanor change right after you made eye contact with her, as she hyped up the crowd, which started cheering even louder.

the concert lasted for another hour until it was finally over. you were tired, yet you somehow didn’t feel like going home, not after having such a small interaction with winter, who was your initial reason for even deciding to go to the concert in the first place.

you walked down the hallway after waiting for a few minutes until the crowd left, and sighed, resigning to the fact that it was likely that you wouldn’t see winter, at least not tonight- until you heard a familiar voice echo behind you.

‘’hi again pretty girl’’ you turned on your heels and was met with the girl you were hoping to see, winter.

she was wearing her usual smirk on her face, along with a different outfit than what she had on during the concert. the comfier looking attire made her seem even hotter, you thought, the baggy hoodie and sweatpants giving to the interaction a lot more intimacy, almost letting you think she felt comfortable enough to let you see her with a disheveled appearance rather than the put together look she has in public.

‘’i guess you really came, huh?’’ she spoke lowly, stepping closer towards you until she was towering over you, looking down into your eyes.

realizing it had been a few seconds and i had still not said a word, only standing there in awe, i spoke up, failing miserably at acting nonchalant.

‘’uh y-yeah, i did’’ i mentally slapped myself at my stuttering and the palpable fluster in my voice. as if that was not enough, i started feeling hot in the face, and could only pray that it didn’t show on the outside.

winter stayed silent and seemed to observe me for a few seconds before she leaned in even closer, smirking wider than before.

‘’you’re blushing, it’s cute’’

should i continue writing this?? 😭

[runnning-outof-time]

I’m (Not) Alright with a Slow Burn | Tommy Shelby x Reader headcanons

Request: yes by anonymous

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader (headcanons)

Summary: How Tommy would go about being stuck in a slow burn with someone he's falling for.

Warnings: mention of death of grandmother, slight season 2 spoilers

Word Count: 2537

A/N: I really enjoyed this request! umm…I’m not sure if these are 100% written like headcanons - I wrote them like I was spewing out ideas lol. Kacey Musgraves’s song Slow Burn was also running through my head while I was writing this, hence the title. Also how the hell do you actually spell headcanons?? Is there 1 ‘n’ or 2?? Lol . Enjoy! :)

I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! - YOUR COMMENTS & REBLOGS HELP ME WRITE!

Comment/Message me if you want to be tagged!

• (Y/N) was one of the few Shelby Company Ltd. employees that Tommy didn't hire. She was brought on board while he and the boys were off at one of the races. Polly saw the potential in her and immediately welcomed her into the company.

• when Tommy returned from said races, he was pleasantly surprised to meet her.

• and Polly clocked that immediately. She was able to tell by the lack of a fight - Tommy was always able to find something to pick at when she made decisions within the company, no matter how minuscule. But there was nothing to pick at with (Y/N).

• Polly also wasn't surprised to see (Y/N) completing more and more tasks that came directly from Tommy. They'd be tasks that Polly hadn't even known about...but for some reason Tommy trusted (Y/N) with them.

• (Y/N) didn't think anything different about it. She'd been hired into the company and one of her bosses was asking her to do things. That's what was supposed to happen, right?

• although she did find it odd that it was Tommy asking her to do these things when she'd originally been hired to help Polly with sorting out the books and the like.

• things persisted like that for a few months. (Y/N) would happily and eagerly help him with whatever he needed to have done around the company. He'd look out for her, making sure that she was happy in her position and just in general. And in return, (Y/N) would (try) to keep up the same for him. She'd show that in the smallest of ways and attempts, but he would notice. Over those few months and because of those small acts, Tommy's thoughts and feelings towards (Y/N) evolved.

• he can still remember the day when that switch began - because it haunted him every day after.

• she came into his office like it was any other day for her...but it wasn't any other day for Tommy.

• he'd been working under Campbell for a few weeks at that point, and it'd become apparent that he'd be dead at the end of the arrangement. Tommy wasn't afraid to die, but the thought of getting everything in order and making sure his family could go on without him was now plaguing his mind.

• so when (Y/N) asked him what he had for her to do today, Tommy rattled off his list without as much as looking up at her. He was fully expecting her to turn and exit the second he finished speaking.

• she didn't. Silence reigned for a moment or two before "are you ok, Tommy?" came quietly from her. This made Tommy look up, and when he did, all of the noise in his mind ceased. Sure he looked at her before - he'd looked up like this thousands of times, but he never saw her like he did when he looked up this time. It was this otherworldly experience that he'd only been through twice before. Which meant he knew exactly what was happening.

• even though he brushed her question off and told her that he was fine, he hoped that things wouldn't change between them.

• and thankfully they didn't because hell, Tommy Shelby was certain that he was falling in love.

• he began testing the waters carefully at first. (Y/N) was a good woman and he wasn't about to make her leave the company due to his actions. He couldn't stand to lose her.

• so he started by making sure she was being heard; by actually listening to her whenever she'd share ideas or tell him how things played out with what he'd asked her to do.

• then he emphasized making sure that she was safe - having blinders on her block, sticking around on the days where she and Polly would be in the shop tallying the winnings, and also personally offering to take her wherever she needed to go.

• (Y/N) reacted bashfully to these offers. She felt that the other company employees would think that she was getting special treatment or something — well...she kind of was...but she deeply appreciated Tommy doing these things.

• in regards to feelings, Tommy was putting his out there as best as he could (which, well I'll let you be the one to decide on how well that is) He really tried to make a more personal connection with her; to get to know her as her and not just another employee...and in turn he let her know him.

• (Y/N) stayed professional. He was one of her bosses after all. But she couldn't deny that she enjoyed being in his presence. Her friends found that crazy, too...how can she be happy to be spending time with Tommy Shelby? She swore it off as strictly work related until she couldn't anymore.

• the evening started like any other...(Y/N) went home after work with the intention of doing what she did every other evening. But something was waiting for her at home. Something that turned her world upside-down. She found out that her grandmother had passed away. The post had come and one of the letters was from a sibling of hers, sharing the news. She didn't know what to do.

• after exhausting all of her options, she found herself at the Garrison. Tommy had invited her there in the past, but she never accepted it due to wanting to stay professional.

• she asked around for him and the second she found out that he was in the snug, she made her way to it and opened the door. He was in there, but so were his brothers. "This was the last place I could think of," she blurted out. "Everyone out," was all Tommy needed to say before it was just the two of them in the room.

• (Y/N) quickly sat and let everything out. Tommy listened intently, something no one had ever done for her in the past. They sat in the snug for hours, (Y/N) talking and Tommy listening. Her ability to share her grandmother's story helped her immensely.

• from that evening, (Y/N) saw Tommy in a different light. The fact that he sat and listened to her as she lamented to him and not once did he even think of leaving meant the world to her. No one had shown her that sort of worthiness or attention.

• all at once it felt like she was head over heels for him. Like all of those little instances he'd shown her before had all culminated into this one, major display of devotion. It had her realizing that maybe it wasn't solely because she was his employee...maybe it was much more than that.

• and so when he went out of his way and made sure to check on her the next morning - she knew this because Polly commented on the fact that he was supposed to be in London by sun-up - and he couldn't get him off of her mind no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't beat around the bush anymore...she'd fallen for Tommy Shelby, hard.

• but things didn't hit off right from that moment.

• no, it took a rather long time for those feelings to actually come out.

• there was a lot of dancing around the other - the smaller gestures and moments still occurred, but neither one was willing to make that jump over the edge and confront the other about it.

• yes, you read that right...Tommy Shelby was actually keeping his feelings for her close to the chest.

• mostly it was because of the position they were in. He'd offer to take her to dinner and she'd politely decline (even though she really wanted to go) because she was worried the other company employees would suspect something.

• Tommy wasn't exactly into the dancing around it (he hated it at times actually), but he honored her choice.

• but that doesn't mean he wasn't taking every chance he got to spend time around her. To check in on her and see how things were. To walk her home if she stayed later. Anything to show her that he was serious...without actually saying that he was serious.

• he was hooked on her though, there was no doubt about it. All he needed was for her to really show that interest back to him, and then he'd know for sure that he could act on it.

• and then Polly's birthday came.

• the company/family decided to host a party at the Garrison. Of course (Y/N) was invited.

• a man named Louis was one of the men who worked the shop floor daily. He saw (Y/N) almost every day that she was also on the floor, and he made it a point to seek her out as well.

• much like with Tommy, (Y/N) kept things between her and Louis strictly professional.

• but this party is when Louis decided that he was going to make his move...to try and woo her.

• maybe he should have thought this through...

• (Y/N) was sitting at one of the tables, chatting with some of the other women who worked within the company. It was a surprise that she wasn't with Tommy, considering he sought her out almost immediately after she arrived. But Tommy was still present though.

• Louis had this plan to put everything right on the table. He smoothly walked over to her and, equally as smoothly, slipped into the booth that she was sitting in. (Y/N) was polite, but it was obvious that she wasn't feeding any more into it than a simple, friendly conversation.

• but of course Tommy didn't pick up on that. From where he was standing it looked like Louis was a little too close to her for comfort. So he quickly intervened.

• and he was anything but subtle with it. He was quickly able to make Louis feel uneasy and clear him out.

• (Y/N)'s confused, but happy to have the man she'd hardly talked to gone. She sends Tommy an appreciative smile and that's just about enough to bring Tommy to his knees. But that doesn't happen...instead he gives her one of his signature, lop-sided smiles and nods at the ladies sitting with her before going back to where he previously was.

• this interaction didn't go unnoticed though. Polly and Ada were watching from off to the side. These two know Tommy better than anyone, and they've rarely seen him react this quickly and in this sort of way. So it's glaringly apparent to them that something's going on here.

• and this becomes increasingly apparent as time goes on.

• also as time goes on, (Y/N) manages to move up in the company. She's basically right underneath Polly in terms of power, becoming her 'right hand man’ in the treasurer position.

• having this position means that she's more involved in the inner circle and is at all of the meetings.

• the entire family swears by the fact that Tommy is softer with her than he is with anyone else.

• you can literally see the change the second she shares her thoughts on a matter or even enters a room. The switch is practically on a dime.

• but these two keep dancing around each other - they've been doing it for close to a year at this point.

• and those who know of it are baffled. They are obviously in love with each other...why hasn't one budged and made things official?

• the suspicions on this topic all come to a climax on the first year anniversary of (Y/N) joining the company.

• Tommy invites her out to dinner. (Y/N) agrees this time mostly because she knows what day it is...and she knows that the Shelbys like to celebrate such things.

• but she's surprised when she arrives at the upscale restaurant and is escorted to a table for two. Tommy can't help but smile at the face she pulls when she sees that he's sitting there, waiting for her.

• but she gets comfortable very quickly. It's Tommy we're talking about here...she's never been more comfortable with anyone in her life if she was being honest. And the same goes for him too.

• the dinner lasts hours. They talk about everything and anything. Work's off the table, but yet they still manage to not have more than a moment of silence. Both are surprised at how freely the conversation flows.

• eventually Tommy brings up the subject they've been dancing around.

• he lays everything out on the table this time. There's no sense in holding back. He tells her how she makes him feel, how she's made him feel from the moment he first saw her.

• he also mentions the fact that he's felt this way for a while now, and that he can't continue dancing around it any longer. He honored her desire to stay professional for this time, but he wants her too much, loves her too much to keep going like this for even a day longer.

• at first (Y/N)'s shocked. She's not oblivious...she'd been catching the little hints that he'd been leaving all this time, but she was truthfully too hesitant to ever bring the subject up to him.

• but now that he's put it out there, she figures why should she hold back her feelings any longer?

• so she lays it all out for him as well. Tells him how she feels about him, how she's felt about him for some time now.

• Tommy can't contain his happiness as he hears this. He's grinning like a fool.

• so really there's only one last thing for them to do now...make it official.

• Tommy wastes no time in doing that.

• he asks her properly though. That's what she deserves, especially after all this time that's been invested.

• he stops them just down the road from where she lives. He tells her that he really likes her (he won't use the 'l word' just yet - even though the two of them are so clearly in love) and that he can't wait a moment longer to make her his.

• (Y/N) quickly agrees with the sentiment after everything that had been shared during their dinner.

• Tommy can't help but smile at her response, and he just barely nods his head in his Tommy fashion before continuing to walk her home.

• they share their first kiss at the front door, and it's absolutely magical.

• they then proceed to do a terrible job of hiding it while at work. Tommy's waited this long to be with her, he's not going hide his affection for her any longer.

• their definition of 'in secret' is soooo far from the actual definition. They think that they're being sneaky, only stealing kisses in empty hallways and in Tommy's office, but it takes Polly literally only two days to catch onto it.

• no ones upset with it though. Honestly everyone’s happy that they’re finally together.

• well everyone except Louis…Louis is a little bummed about the whole thing. But Tommy and (Y/N) don’t care about that in the slightest.

Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @emotionalcadaver @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @cillmequick @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @garrison-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @brummiereader @red-riding-wood @everythingelseisextra @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @shaddixlife

MASTERLIST

[onboardsorasora]

I woke up this morning with a song in my heart and that song was reversed age gap maxiel with a lil scumbag Max in the bridge. I've had an ask in my inbox for months now about reversed aged gap maxiel and I thought this was the same vibe but sadly it isn't. Oh wells, this is what I wrote this morning. thank you @chaosinstigator for being an amazing cheerleader <3

1172 wrds. There is a part 2 apparently lol

Something something four-time world champion Max Verstappen looks across the garage at his new teammate, the 18yr old they dragged up from VCarb to replace Checo. 

Daniel Ricciardo was a fast driver, he'd only spent a fraction of the year in F2 before he was called up. And even though the car wasn't good, he was. Which is what mattered.

Helmut had been puffing chest out in pride ever since Daniel proved him right. 

Now the kid– because that's what he was, a kid– was talking to the old man, nodding periodically while Helmut spoke. Like a good boy.

They'd already met, had time to break the ice as teammates and Max could hardly ignore how his light brown eyes had shone with worship and awe. Or how Daniel’s voice had cracked when he promised to be a good challenge for Max this year. His lips pulled into an almost-but-not-quite-there cocky smirk over the brackets of his braces, and Max idly wondered what other ‘challenges’ Daniel would pose this year.

In the weeks since that, Max couldn’t help but notice Daniel. How could he not? He was cute, in a dorky way. He listened to loud music, loudly. Unlike Checo who kept his tunes to a reasonable volume for someone sharing a wall. Daniel was always giggling and joking around, trying to rile people up to play. 

Max was already riled up in a different way.

What with Daniel’s continued teasing and jokes, walking around in tiny shorts and showing his new thigh tattoo to anyone with eyes. He was flexible too, contorting his scrawny body into yoga poses while they waited for engineering to start, doing handstands in the hallway. He was loud when he got massaged. Max could hear him talking through the thin wall and then his voice would hitch and he would groan when Jon apparently hit a particularly deep knot. It drove Max up the wall.

Max knocked twice before opening the door– his usual standard– then froze in the doorway. Daniel looked at him wide eyed, dressed only in his underwear and clearly about to get dressed in his tight white fireproofs. Max hadn’t ever seen him so underdressed, even with all of the random activities they’d been doing for marketing. He was scrawny yes, but still lithe with corded muscles. Dotted with freckles and sunspots. Max gripped the handle of the door when Daniel’s big eyes lost their surprise and settled into upturned curiosity. His heart shaped lips dropped open a little, enough for Max to see his tongue pressing against his braces. Max wanted to smear his come in the brackets.

“Max?” Daniel’s voice pitched upwards.

Max mentally stepped away from the visuals of him debauching this kid. “Your music.” He got out.

“Oh jeepers, my bad. Sorry!” Daniel rushed to the table to lower the volume on his speakers. Max watched his ass in his tight briefs. How his thighs bunched as he moved, thick with dark wiry hair.

“Lovely, thank you Daniel.” Max smiled and Daniel’s face darkened with a pleased flush and he bit his lip. Max forced himself to close the door and go back to his own room.

— - —

They were changing after a gokart race for marketing, Daniel sat shirtless on the bench. Max looked over to see him already watching him. After spending the last twenty minutes with Daniel practically sat in his lap while Max gripped his tiny waist, Max would appreciate it if he got dressed already.

“I can hear your brain from here.” Max teased and Daniel’s lips pulled into an unconscious smile even as he looked away. 

“Sorry I just– you don’t like me, do you?” Daniel blurted and Max froze.

“What?”

“It’s just– you didn’t–I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have like said that.” Daniel shook his head and stood. Max watched him tuck his long sweaty curls behind his ear. 

“Why would you think that?” Max was confused as to why Daniel would assume that he hated him, and wondered what made him think that way. As far as Max was concerned, he hadn’t treated him any differently than anyone else. Unless Daniel was expecting special treatment? If anything, Daniel was getting special treatment. Max wasn’t going out of his way to be a dick to him, he wouldn’t do that to his young teammate.

“Uhm, I– everyone says you were nicer to Checo, warmer. I-I don’t think you’ve been bad– you’ve been great. But I’m not Checo and I dunno if you like resent me for replacing him.”

“Checo was my teammate for five years, I am not going to, of course, automatically treat you like him.” Max pointed out, “and you shouldn’t listen to the media, they are talking out of their asses most of the time.”

Daniel blushed and ducked his head, chastised. 

“Was that it?” Max asked kindly. He would rather get this all out in the open now.

“I'm sorry.” Daniel apologized, his upturned eyes looked glassy as if he was holding back tears. “I just want us to be friends I guess.” He shrugged.

“You don’t have to be friends with your teammate.”

“I know but.. You were friends with all of yours. Like Carlos.”

Max scoffed, he hadn’t been friends with Carlos when they were teammates– they fucked out their frustrations.

Daniel’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in a small o. Max shrugged and tugged his shirt over his head. He repacked his bag and tugged on a cap, turning to see Daniel squirming where he stood, a deep blush on his cheeks. And oh. Well this was interesting. 

Max crossed the room and stood over him, using the few centimeters he had on Daniel to his advantage. Daniel’s head tipped up trustingly and Max cupped his smooth chin in his big hand. Daniel let out a breathy exhale that had Max’s blood surging. 

Max leaned in closely, so close their noses touched. Daniel’s breath hitched. It would be so easy to take. To give in and do what he wanted to Daniel, clearly what Daniel wanted him to do to him. It would be so easy to ruin him entirely. Too easy. 

“You have no idea what you’re asking.” Max whispered against pink lips. Daniel whined in response.

“I– please. I can take it”

“Have you ever?” Max wanted to know, needed to know just how corrupt his little jailbait was. Daniel’s eyes widened and Max bit back his groan. Fuck.

“W-with girls.” Daniel admitted in a whisper, he grabbed at Max’s arm as if he were afraid that his admission would make him less desirable. As if Max hadn’t already been fantasising about fucking him seven ways to Sunday every fucking weekend. His cock stirred at the thought of being the first in the undoubtable tight clench of Daniel’s untried hole. Of being the first to have him writhing and screaming at the discovery of his prostate. 

Would he beg? Max quirked a smirk at the thought, Daniel was already begging right now. 

[querenciasturniolo]

OKAY NO, “favorite” was insanely good. If you wouldn’t mind, could you please write a part 2 for this fic? Maybe their flirting before something finally happens or maybe another car video with them already dating but no fan knows?

oops ⮕ c.s.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: swearing

summary: chris slips up, and the secret’s out

a/n: i’m so glad you liked favorite !! i changed the idea just a little bit 🤏🏻 but i hope you like it !!! 🤞🏻

{i’m not the biggest fan of this, but that’s okay. i might rewrite this at some point, but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️}

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

part one || part two

Before you realized what was happening, Chris Sturniolo had made his way into your heart and stayed there.

The few months after the Q&A video was posted, the two of you continued keeping in touch. You talked to Nick and Matt of course, but Chris was incredibly persistent on answering quickly and asking you questions about yourself. It was only a matter of time before the two of you finally got together.

It had been almost a year since that video, and eight of those eleven months you’d been with Chris. The two of you decided early on to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, but with each video you did with them, more edits of Chris looking at you the way he did nearly blew the secret.

You thought it was funny, how he couldn’t control the way his eyes scanned over you like you were the only thing on his mind. It wasn’t just Chris, though. Nick keeping the bit of you and Chris admitting to be each other’s celebrity crush and favorite triplet in the video didn’t help things, either.

Your new single had only been out for a few weeks, and every single interview consisted of the same question.

“Fans have been speculating that your new single, Rare, is actually a love song about Youtube star, Chris Sturniolo. Is this true?”

You’d laugh and shake your head, your chest aching and your heart pounding as you said the same thing over and over again.

“I think the interpretation of music is up to the listener. If the listener wants to believe this song is about Chris, that’s okay. If they want to believe it’s just a love song I wrote for fun, that’s fine too. I personally was inspired to write about the feeling you get around someone who’s important to you.”

The interviewer would then fake laugh along with you, and thankfully change the subject. You hated lying to your fans, and just lying in general, but it was nice to have something private. You wouldn’t mind going public, persé, but you’d need to talk about it first to make sure he was on the same page.

Chris had spent the majority of his time at your apartment when you were in LA, and any time he wasn’t there, you were at their house. One of those times was right now, Nick and Matt sitting next to you on the couch and watching a show you had absolutely no interest in. Chris had his head in your lap with his eyes facing the screen, your fingers carding through his hair absentmindedly as you pretended to pay attention.

Suddenly, Chris sat up and turned to face you, his hair sticking up in different directions and his eyes wide.

“We should go live.” He suggested, Matt and Nick glancing over from where they were sitting with furrowed eyebrows.

“Why?” Matt asked, reaching for the remote and pausing the show.

Chris shrugged his shoulders and pulled his phone out, glancing at you unamused and running a hand through his hair to fix it. “Why not? We aren’t doing anything anyway.” He said, tapping the Instagram icon and sliding over to go live. He propped his phone up on the Pepsi can on the coffee table and rested his head on his hand. Comments started pouring in almost immediately, many of them about the fact that you were on the couch next to him.

After a few moments of silence, Chris glanced over at the three of you with his eyebrows raised. “Are you guys just going to sit there like bumps on a log, or are you going to join me?” He said, your eyes rolling as you scooted more into frame, Nick and Matt grumbling as they stood up and followed suit. Nick sat on your other side while Matt sat on the other side of Chris, all four of you now looking at the comments flooding in.

Y/N WHO IS RARE ABOUT?????

You chuckled and shook your head. “Rare is a song I wrote about how it feels to be around someone who makes you love yourself.” You said, your answer vague as you noticed the way Chris’ fond eyes flickered to you on the screen for a split second before going back to scanning the comments.

well that’s one way to answer a question i guess

it’s about chris confirmed

idk, the verse about someone with bright eyes like stars seems to scream chris

Nick scoffed and looked at you. “How many times have you been asked that?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders.

“About ten thousand, but I don’t mind. It’s sweet that people want to know. It’s a happy song, they just want to know why.” You said, Nick pursing his lips and humming noncommittally before looking back to the phone.

The live went on for what seemed like ages, the four of you replying to as many comments as possible, the rapid rate of which they were coming in made it near impossible to read. After a while, Matt pulled out his phone and started scrolling through Tiktok, his volume low and his eyes flickering between his phone and the live.

“We filmed our Wednesday vlog today, it’s one of my favorites so far.” Chris said. “No hints as to what it is, but I hope you guys like it.”

Matt snorted at whatever was playing on his phone, nudging Chris’ shoulder for him to look. He did, his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue between his teeth as he watched. You and Nick continued reading the comments, laughing and responding to a few before Chris guffawed and covered his mouth with his hand at whatever Matt was showing him.

He grabbed Matt’s phone out of his hand and held it in front of your face. “Babe, look at this!” He said, all four of you freezing in place as you registered Chris’ words. Before any of you could react, comments started flying in immediately, whether they were keyboard smashes or just consistently repeated ‘I KNEW IT’s.

“End the live.” Nick mumbled, all four of you reaching for the phone at the same time and knocking it off of the table.

“Shit!” Chris shouted, scrambling for his phone and desperately jamming his thumb onto the screen to end it. It was no use—his live had crashed, and his screen was frozen on the image of all four of you staring wide-eyed at the camera seconds after Chris’ slip up, comments still pouring in at an impressive rate, each comment blurred. In a last ditch effort to fix it, he turned off his phone and dropped it into his lap.

The four of you sat there in silence, the tension in the room thick enough to cut with a knife. You finally turned your head and met Chris’ eyes, his face frozen in a wince.

“Oops?”

The silence only lasted a few more seconds before you completely lost it, hysterical, raucous laughter bubbling out of you as you clutched your stomach. The three of them joined in soon after, the four of you near tears as the reality of what just happened set in.

“How did that even happen?! We were doing so well!” You said through your laugh, Chris shaking his head and wiping at his eyes.

“I don’t even know, it just came out.” He said, the four of you finally calming down enough to catch your breath. “I mean, at least we don’t have to hide it anymore.”

You pulled out your phone and opened Instagram.

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do.” You said, Chris leaning into your shoulder as he watched you create a post. “Help me pick one.” You said, scrolling through your photos before he tapped one. You had taken it ages ago, but it was still your favorite picture the two of you had taken together.

“What should the caption be?” You asked, Chris raising his eyebrows at you and scoffing.

“What do you think?”

You rolled your eyes and typed the lyrics out, making sure to tag Chris before posting the photo and locking your phone.

“And now we wait for the uproar.” You said, Chris chuckling and pressing a kiss to your temple. Nick groaned dramatically, catching both of your attention as he pushed himself off of the couch and headed towards the kitchen.

“Oh God, if you guys are going to be all mushy now, could you at least give a warning?” He said, though you could tell he was only teasing. Your phone screen kept lighting up, notifications pouring in from Instagram.

“Well, it’s out there now, I guess. You’re stuck with me.” You said, Chris rolling his eyes as he wrapped an arm around your waist and lightly leaned his weight onto you.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

don’t keep your distance, i’m not scared

i’m not gonna fight this, baby you’re rare

[meshla-cyarika]

My Love, My Life

Pairing: Tech x Jedi!reader

Word count: 1,063

Tags/warnings: angst, grief/mourning, there's alot of signs of autism shown in Tech in this fic but less obvious ones.

Summary: After finding your name in the Imperial obituary, Tech doesn't know how to move on.

A/N: How many aura points do I lose for crying while I wrote this even though it's not that good? I was originally going to have a part two of the reader's perspective where it's reveal that oh my god you're actually alive, but I dont know whether to do that now purely because of how deeply Tech is shown to be grieving and I kinda don't want to take that away from him. Yk what I mean? But if people say they want a part 2 who am I to deny them? Also, yes, the title is based off of that one ABBA song cuz I was listening to it while I wrote this.

--------------------------------------------------

The Marauder was tingling with tension. The genocide of the Jedi, the betrayal of the Empire, the loss of Crosshair and the gain of Omega all happened over the course of twenty-four hours. Everyone had their own reasons to be on edge.

Tech's mind had been on autopilot for days. As soon as he saw what Master Billaba's men did to her and how quickly Crosshair became bloodthirsty for all Jedi, time seemed to stop. He had frantically typed on his datapad to try and find an explanation for such a brutal attack. When Tech saw that it was a full fledged genocide, he swore his heart stopped beating for a second. The only thing that kept him from having a panic attack was his advanced biology.

When they got to the Marauder and fled Kamino, Tech was instantly searching the Imperial database for the list of the dead. He never thought he'd have to check an obituary to find your name, but there you were. Jedi Knight. Executed on Lothal. The reference image they used for you was haunting. To see you stood there, just so alive, with the word executed next to you was enough to make bile stir in his stomach.

It didn't feel real. Tech looked at your information in the obituary again and again and again, but his mind just couldn't process the information. He felt like the only way he could believe you were dead is if he saw your body laying before him and he could never bring himself to do that.

Everyone noticed the difference in their brother. Even Omega, who hadn't even been with them that long, noticed his irregular behaviour. His brothers were puzzled by his reaction to their new living  situation. Out of all of them, Tech should be the least likely to get emotional over this. Then again, change has alway been a problem with Tech. It always takes longer for him to process things like this.

They began working for a trandoshan called Cid to do some seedy work. It was obvious why Hunter made them work for her, obvious to Tech anyway. It was because being sent out on missions that have various conditions is all they ever knew. The concept of settling down on a planet and ignoring the war raging on outside is foreign to them.

It's been ten months, three weeks and five days, since your death. Tech's behaviour hasn't changed and his siblings have assumed it's all because of Crosshair up until this point. Tech had been understanding with Crosshair on Kamino and held only mild hatred for his decision.

No. This is something else entirely.

Hunter's heart aches at seeing his brother's despair and having no idea what's making him feeling this way. Tech being Tech, will never say.

He finally snapped when one of Cid's workers, Phee, persistently kept making moves on him. Tech couldn't help the pure emotion radiating off of him in waves, as he shouted and yelled at the woman. It should be you laughing at his sarcasm, it should be you calling him pet names, it should be you with him. He just wants you and that's the one thing he can't possibly have and it hurts, it makes it feel like his heart has been ripped straight out of chest.

Tech stormed off to the Marauder which was a mistake, because everything in there reminds him of you. Your first kiss on his bunk, your late night conversations in the cockpit, your shared experiments at his desk.

He wants to scream and yell at how unfair everything is. Out of everyone in the galaxy, why you? Why did death have to take you? His perfect cyar'ika who could do no wrong and managed to cling to the little faith you had left through the most devastating battles.

Grief is something Tech has experienced only a handful of times. The feelings still feel new and uncertain and that unnerves him. Tech's emotions are usually filed away in organised compartments that only he understands. Now, everything is overflowing and overlapping. Everything is too much.

It's like a bad dream. He doesn't want to be here anymore. He wants the comfort of a familiar routine, back when his biggest concern was what days him and his cyar'ika would be on shore leave at the same time.

Tech sinks down into the far corner of the bunk room, ripping off his goggles and letting them clatter agaisnt the durasteel floor. He draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his shins, before leaning his forehead agaisnt his kneecaps.

The last time he found himself in this position was back when he was a cadet. As much as he tried to ignore it, the regs had gotten to him. 99 had found him curled up in the corner of an embryo lab. He had said nothing at first, just sank down next to him and let him know that he was there if he needed him. Tech found himself wondering for years why he couldn't have been like everyone else, why the Kaminoans made his mind work this way. Tech would give anything to be "normal". He never asked for any of this.

A set of footsteps stomp their way up the ramp and Tech doesn't bother looking up. He's prepared for the demanding yells, the overbearing questions and the looks of outrage on his brothers' faces. What he isn't prepared for is someone sliding down the wall next to him. Tech almost flinches at the feeling of someone placing a hand on his back and tenses all the muscles in his body instantly. Eventually, his body goes back to being lax and a shaky sigh leaves Tech's lips, as he leans into his brother's side.

Tech doesn't want to talk about you to his brothers. If he talks about it, then it's real. Your body is rotting on Lothal and he'll never see you again. He can't face the reality of it. It's too real. He can't do it.

The hand on his back rubs soothing circles into his spine. I'm here, if you need me.

Someday, he will tell the tale of his beautiful cyar'ika and you'll become an honoured part of their mismatched family, even though they had never met you. You will forever live on in his heart.

[maopll]

omg hi I love ur work this is so exciting

honestly I’d be happy with anything you made so please just hcs for all your faves!! thank you!

shall I compare thee to a summer's day ?

#genshin impact !

⌗:, a/n: making my come back again after 2 months. wrote this in class pls take it. don't even know if this is actually a headcanon or not mate.

⌗:, warning: childe's real name, mention of endearments in many.

⌗:, pairings: childe, kaeya,zhongli, diluc, ayato, neuvillette, wriothesley, beidou w/ gn!reader (separately)

CHILDE

He works day and night just to be by your side when you go to sleep. He can't let you sleep alone on that cold bed. He comes everyday and falls asleep while hugging your form. All the regrets and bloodlust now gone as he focuses on your sleeping peaceful form. He grows sentimental by the night and always worries about you 'how will you able to stay safe when I'm not here ?'. He is snapped back to reality when you softly speak in a low voice "ajax? you're here" and smile while turning towards him. Even in the darkest of nights your smiles brings him the brightest of dawns. He hugs you tightly to his chest and kisses your forehead. This soft and sweet side of childe is what only you can see.

KAEYA

Being a cavalry captain means that he is quite efficient in the ways of welding swords and riding horses. Although they don't quite apply at present but he has taken you out on horse ridings for more than once. Riding through the vast forests and along with the wind. As the evening fell, you two rested under a tree in Starsnatch Cliff while watching the sun set in each others arms. He held you close to him as he softly kissed you. Oh, how beautiful you looked as the suns rays fell on you. He could cherish this moment forever...however fleeting moments of happiness are best savoured when they are short-lived as they would continue to stay engraved in his minds for years to come...for centuries to last.

ZHONGLI

Hands intertwined with his big ones as you two strided along the coast of the sea. It was twilight, almost dusk. The cool breeze of the sea, accompanied by the lulling of the waves, all seemed so surreal. You were smiling brightly, and Zhongli felt that you looked ethereal. For all the years he's lived, he's never felt so loved and so lucky to have someone by his side. The lovesick moment between you and your lover was sealed by a kiss from Zhongli. Oh, how can you look so beautiful?

DILUC

Maids hear the sound of the gramophone from your and Diluc's shared room, but they just brushed it off thinking that it is you listening to the old mondstadt classics and waltz. Little do they know that the songs are on because two lovers are dancing to it. A cherished pastime of his as he softly holds you close to him. Steps careful and synchronized. The sound of footsteps, the symphony from the gramophone, and the glowing orange embers of the sun illunitaing the room through lace curtains. A dreamlike landscape. He looked at you with lovesick eyes, the same eyes he looked at you with when he first proposed to you. A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he closed his eyes, taking in the moment with you.

AYATO

Atop the cliff of Amakane Island, you and ayato were writing your wishes on the lantern, which would then float up to the skies to receive the blessings of the archon...as per the story goes. The lanterns glow illuminated your faces as Ayato carefully admired your face. 'you look so radiant tonight love' he thought to himself and then chuckling because of how helplessly he is in love with you. "Love I'm done writing should we let it go now?" you said excitedly and he humed in approval. The lantern was then let go off and it found its place among the blanket of stars in the night sky. Your lover held you close to him as he kissed you on the forehead, taking in the ethereal quietness and serenity of the moment

NEUVILLETTE

On the soft green grass, the melusines played as you carefully groomed Neuvillette's long hair. You braided it and added a few freshly picked rainbow roses and lumidouce bells to his hair. "Are the flowers necessary dear?" "nope! you look absolutely gorgeous love, don't take them off". He was about to retort until the melusines also agreed that he looked pretty with the flowers. He hesitantly agreed but if it means that it will put a smile on your face he will gladly do so. Putting the flower crown on top of your head that one of the melusines had made before, he held you close to him. He never felt so peaceful in all of his lifetime. It was a blessing to spend the day with his beloved and also with the melusines he adores so much. A smile broke out in his face as you all continued with your day. It seems that the sun will shine for quite a while today.

WRIOTHESLEY

Brewing tea with you always had such a wholesome domestic vibe to it. You boiled the water as he selected his and yours' favourite tea. Being his lover made you knowledgeable about all the types and kinds of tea and the techniques required to brew them. "Honey, you can put in the tea now. I'll go grab the cups." he added the required amount and waited for it to be complete. He listened intently to the song you were humming...what was the name again? oh! it was one of fontaine's classics. After it was done, you two enjoyed the tea in silence. It was comforting since most of the days inside the Fortress of Meropide is spent is hustle and bustle and matters related to the maintenance and whatnot. Moments like these were sparse, but he thoroughly enjoyed the little time he spent with you.

BEIDOU

Once the crux fleets arrives at the harbour, the first place Beidou takes you to is Wangmin restaurant or to any other local food stalls there are in the liyue harbour. From the spiciest of dry braised fish or stew to sweet and savoury rice puddings or even the fanciest of rice wines. All of them in one night. "Haha! I hope you are enjoying today, love days like these might come after a long time! maybe even months!" and she proceeded to chug down her entire bottle of wine. "thanks for this day beidou, I love you" you said as you drank your own wine. It was a full moon night and the sky was brighter than on any other day. What an eventful day it was with the captain of the Crux fleet!

[coconut-dreamz]

king of my heart

"the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury" || tom blyth x singer!reader

a/n: inspired by ts once again !!!

i'm perfectly fine, i live on my own i made up my mind, i'm better off bein' alone

you had spent the last few years being single and throwing yourself into your work. that was evident through the sheer amount of music you'd made in the last five years and the world tours you'd gone on.

after your messy break up a few years ago, you'd sworn off love and relationships lately. though, they did make great inspiration for music. but throwing yourself into your work for the past three years had consequences. you were feeling burnt out after your latest world tour and your manager had strongly urged you to take a break for awhile. not to mention you were in a rut. you hadn't wrote a single song in months. nothing inspired you, all of the songs you tried to write sounded wrong. 

we met a few weeks ago now you try on callin' me, baby, like tryin' on clothes

rachel was a good friend of yours, you had met on at a red carpet once and became fast friends. she had recently finished up filming for a project and was in new york. she wanted to meet up with you and introduce you to her cast mates. 

that's when you met tom. there was an instant attraction between you two, there was no doubt about it. everyone in the room could feel it. tom, luckily, also lived in new york. but he lived in brooklyn while you lived in manhattan. but he was constantly calling you, asking you to meet up or come over and hang out. nearly every day he was free he'd call you up. 

salute to me, i'm your american queen and you move to me like i'm a motown beat and we rule the kingdom inside my room

you two were just hanging out in your bedroom, listening to your vinyl records. stand by me started playing, softly filling the room. "dance with me," tom stands, offering his hand to you. you just smile and agree, standing up. his arm snakes around your waist as your hand makes its way to his shoulder. you lay your head on his chest as you two sway to the music.

"this is nice," you whisper out as the song ends. "i like spending time with you. hours feel like minutes here," he responds as he spins you around, causing you to erupt in giggles at his antics. you continue to dance around the room until the sun sets behind you, lost in your own world with tom. when you were with him, everything else melted into the background. it was like the only thing in focus was tom. 

'cause all the boys and their expensive cars with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite where you do

you had reluctantly agreed to a date with someone one of your model friends had set you up with. he picked you up from your apartment in his flashy car, drawing attention to you two from everyone around you. you weren't quite used to all this attention, you had been a lot more private in recent years. 

the date was absolutely terrible. he took you to some upscale restaurant that served expensive dishes that were only 1-2 bites each. as he drove you back to your place, all you could think of was how you wish you'd just stayed home and gotten take out with tom. you'd be a lot less hungry and a lot more happy if you'd done so.

after being dropped off, you texted gigi that you're never letting her set you up again. after texting her, you called tom. he picked up almost immediately, as if he was waiting for you. "that was the worst date ever!" you shout, once the call connects. all you hear is his melodic laugh in response. "i wish i would've just stayed home and gotten take out. i'm starving. the restaurant we went to didn't fill me at all!”

"how about i come over and pick up something up on the way there? we can watch a movie or two and you can tell me more about how much of a disaster it was." you smile at his suggestion. "that sounds great, i'll see you soon?" you answer, happily. "see you soon, love." he hangs up. you smile, couldn't wait.

and all at once, you are the one i have been waiting for king of my heart, body and soul

being with tom felt easy. you didn't realize it at first, but then all of a sudden he was embedded in every part of your life. being with him was as easy as breathing. it came naturally to the two of you. he had somehow snuck in and captured your heart. 

"i love you," you whisper out as the two of you stare up at the stars. you'd decided to go on a camping trip upstate. you were laying on a blanket, cuddling. it just felt right with him. nothing was ever forced. it was simple. 

tom sits up abruptly at your words, looking into your eyes "do you mean it?" he asks, unsure. "you're the king of my heart, body and soul." you state, staring back at him. a huge grin making its way onto his face. "i love you, i have for awhile. i was just too scared to say it first. i wasn't sure if you felt the same." he admits, a little shy. 

"you are my everything. there's nothing i wouldn't do for you." you admit to him, leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on his lips. you feel him smile into the kiss as he deepens it, pushing you to lay on the blanket and crawling on top of you. 

late in the night, the city's asleep your love is a secret i'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

"shhh, don't be so loud! it's like 3am." you whisper shout at tom as you two walk through london. it was a stunning city, even more so with him by your side. "i love this woman!!!! i'm so glad she's mine!!!" he shouts into the open air, spinning in circles and laughing. his silliness causes you to laugh at him, playfully slapping him on the chest, trying to get him to shut up. 

tomorrow was the world premiere of the ballad of songbirds and snakes. you were so excited for him and the rest of the cast, but there was a selfish part of you that wanted to keep him to yourself. you didn't want him to become the internet's boyfriend or the 'white boy of the month'. you wanted to keep your love a secret from the world.

you wanted to shield the budding love from the cruelty of not only the world, but the tabloids. the press had ruined your previous relationships, breaking the trust you'd previously shared because of false rumors and speculations. you know tom wasn't like that, but you didn't want to be proved wrong. you just wanted to hold onto this secret for a little longer.

change my priorities the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

some people may have labeled you as materialistic in the past, your countless new shoes and outfits adding fuel to the fire. but, as of late, your priorities had changed. you no longer cared for material goods, the only thing you desired was tom. everything about tom, you wanted. his hugs, his kisses, and especially his love for you. his love would be worth more than anything money could buy you. 

is this the end of all the endings? my broken bones are mending with all these nights we're spending

shortly after meeting tom, you were reinvigorated. he was your muse. he mended your heart and gave you inspiration to write once again. no longer were you writing sad songs about ended relationships, but songs confessing your love to him. by the time you had known him for six months, you'd already written enough songs for two 20 song albums and a few extra for deluxe editions.

the more time you spent with him, the more songs you were inspired to write because of him. your agent had wanted to kiss him on the mouth personally for the amount of songs he had inspired you to write after over a year of nothing. your fans would be thrilled to hear you'd be releasing new music after three years of nothing.

"what are you doing there, darling?" tom walks into your office as you play around on the piano and write down the notes you were playing. "just composing a new song. i was inspired during our date last night. i just finished writing the lyrics and now i'm trying to come up with the melody." you answer him, not looking up from the notebook. his eyes widen at your words. "you wrote the lyrics already?" he asks surprised. 

you look up from you notebook at this "of course i did, you're my muse. i've completed two albums dedicated to you now." you answer him and continue playing, trying to find the right notes. "you what?" he asks, unaware of his influence on your creativity. you stop playing at this and stand up to face him. "from the moment i have met you, i have written and composed exactly 47 and a half songs. you are my muse, tom blyth. you occupy my mind at all times. i love you" you confess to him with a grin. "my god, i love you." he captures your lips in a searing kiss. he truly was the king of your heart.