#there's a lotta ships i like but it was sometimes hard to find ones i LOVEd enough to put alongside the others yknow. a problem with all 3

[skrunksthatwunk]

stole this chart from @asubakaa and spent wayyy too much time making my own so. yeah. also i did 6 instead of 5 bc i know no restraint

[legendsgalore]

Sooooo guess what I've been obsessed with lately!!!! The farming game called Fields of Mistria!!!! It's just so cute, gameplay feels very satisfying, and it's literally the type or game I have been dreaming to play for years!!!!! My fav chars so far are Eiland, Ryis, Juniper, March, Celine, Balor, Dozy....what do you mean I'm just listing every character? And what do you mean ofc I have the most hearts with March bc he's a ill-tempered and competent individual who has a soft side like every fictional crush I have? Anyways, I was going to try to give other characters a chance, but that first Friday night in the inn where you find out (thanks to drunk March) that he actually likes you solidified my choice :) still gonna max out hearts with every char tho bc NO FRIENDSHIP DECAY THANK FUCK. Didn't have time last night but I'll be unlocking the barn today, and then I can have cute animals ♡♡♡

My thoughts on common complaints:

Length of Day: I feel people's complaints, but I also feel that the stamina bar and every other gameplay aspect lines up with it perfectly well. Once I realized there was no friendship decay I didn't feel as urgent, bc there's no rush to have things done in Year 1, or 2.....There's no rush.

Money being hard to come by:

No way! It's becoming common knowledge that crafting smth is much more profitable than selling the base goods, so literally if you need money just craft like 40 tables or stone chests (over 100 t each!) Or just fish for a whole day (usually gets me around 500 t). Plus with crops, I've noticed that either once u harvest or ship a certain crop, characters will send u a recipe for them in the mail. So I got a baked potato recipe which you literally just need a potato for and that now sells for 80 t/piece, and if i planted 10 potatoes (bought for 40t each) that's a lotta money! Also copper bars sell for 110t/each and it's not hard to get around 30 copper ore in a full day of mining! But literally my early money makers have been tables, rugs, and the stone furniture you get from upgrading your town rank cuz i have so much stone from mining.

My personal complaint: i know it's coming but i wanna ride horses pleaaase. Also fishing does take a really long time, like sometimes 40 in game min for one fish? But I find it fun, and if i am out of stamina i can just keep repeating eating 1 wild berry, and then fish. Cuz you just need 1 stamina to cast the line. And are there more long hair options in game??? Maybe I haven't progressed enough to see them from the Saturday hair vender (vell right?)

[torchickentacos]

do you have any pokeani fic recs for the classic vibe (read: the content is unhinged and wild)

Referencing this post- long reply but I give a few pointers in these fics' direction at the end!

I'm gonna be so honest anon, I'm not sure I want to actively rec some of them 😭 A lot of them are very of-their-time (usually 2007-2013) and, while HILARIOUS, often contain things that I really don't want to 'recommend' (homophobia, sexism, a lot of slutshaming, some REALLY out of pocket stuff that is not properly warned for, etc). OBVIOUSLY I am not reccing the yikes of things so much as the rest of it (the hilarious unhinged side), but the current fandomscape leans bad-faith and assumey and I'm just not keen to fuck around and find out tbh. Ye olde fic reccing takes a level of understanding of other time periods and attitudes and customs in fandom and on FFN that I'm... not sure that all of tumblr is always very good at tbh lol. If you guys really want me to and if we can all understand that it was a different time and that enjoyment of batshit insane fics does not equal agreement with everything said or depicted in them, then come back and I'll consider it again. But for now, I'm MORE than happy to tell you guys the best ways to find them on your own lmao. It's not hard once you get it down, and anything I'd rec, I've found through this method.

First off, FFN's search system is just frustrating imo. Between a less-than-intuitive UI and people not bothering to tag characters and ships and genres properly, using it the same way you'd filter stuff on Ao3 is a fool's errand (unless you're doing it by word count/completed/etc, which is objective and automatically tallied I think). You're better off using key words. I usually ignore the filters. The only thing I filter by is fandom at the start page (all of Pokemon is under 'games' in FFN and I don't bother narrowing it down to animeverse personally due to aforementioned mistagging or an entire lack thereof).

So, what key words do I use? When looking for that specific brand of insane campy 2000s kitschy wild unhinged stuff, I usually default to searches like "PS CS IS" (poke contest ikari, there's a lotta stuff in there, sometimes there's ORS/LGS/OS/ES/AS etc and you won't always know the acronym and it's just a surprise tbh) or trope related searches like "Assassin" or "High school" or "Vampire" other words you might find in a summary. You can also search by character names (in the search bar and not in the actual filters, which are not reliable in my experience). I'd say to go for tropes and AUs as far as keywords go. I'd ALSO say to not filter by completed, because that'll filter out a lot of two-week-passion-projects that someone dropped as soon as it got flamed, and there's some fun ones in there.

That's about it, but if you find one good fic then it's worth checking the rest of what the writer has. A lot of them have a bunch of unfinished fics and there's some hidden gems. Have a good time reading, and the search is half the fun! Come back with any funny lines you find if you want :)

[mochlus]

I first read dungeon meshi around 2018 and it's been one of my favorite manga on the planet ever since and I gotta say it does feel pretty bittersweet seeing it take off for a lotta reasons. Bc like, of course it deserves this popularity, it's been my favorite manga for six years for a reasos, it's amazing. But seeing fandom discourse around it makes me want to explode. I posted about it on my anime blog already but seeing people focus on shipping and nothing but shipping (shipping OF ANYTHING. The yaoi vs yuri fight makes me want to start killing. I like shipping but the discourse in dunmeshi fandom is fucking awful.), or even only on themes of neurodivergence, and completely ignoring all other themes--the incredibly important ones of ecology and the relationships between people and nature and life and eating and life being eating, themes which saturate the series and lend themselves to its most important, most impactful scenes and lines--it sucks to see man! I've been into the monster manga for six years only for it to blow up and people ignore the fucking monsters! That's how it feels! I know that's just a bias in what people post about and not how people actually engage with the series but it still gets to me.

And the rest of the bitterness comes from that like. The classic nerd feeling, you know, of your tastes being belittled until suddenly everyone finds out what you like is actually good. Seeing dunmeshi be loved by people who wouldn't hesitate to make fun of my other interests--interests which are the reason I was willing to give what was once a relatively niche manga a try in the first place--just makes me feel defensive and possessive about it all. Like, "I've been here so much longer than you, you're not allowed to like this thing I've always liked!" feelings, you know. I know those feelings aren't productive or even based in reality, but they're hard to shed. Especially when I tried to rec the hell out of dunmeshi for years only for even a lot of my friends to just not give it a second glance until it became popular... :/ it's not like I blame anyone, I know sometimes a thing coming out just prompts you to get into something that's been on your radar. But. You know. Bittersweet.

[yakool-foolio]

What do you say to these Vivia ships?

Vivia x Yakou

Vivia x Worried Man NPC

Vivia x Shinigami

Vivia x Fubuki

Vivia x Desuhiko

Vivia x Halara

Vivia x Yuma

Vivia x Melami

Vivia x dying

Vivia x pillows

Vivia x Wince Media

Vivia x boxcutter knife

Vivia x nobody

😏

Hoo boy that's a lot! Well, if ya wanna mess with the bull, you'll get the horns. And by that I mean you'll get my serious and/or non-serious reaction to all of these so enjoy!

Vivia x Yakou - Ah yes, the og otp, ever since me and my boyfriend wanted to cosplay our respective favs before the game even released. Suffice to say were we ahead of the game on that one so we were pleasantly surprised it has some canon footing and it's simply sweet as hell! I personally love how this ship symbolizes that no matter how much you've lost, there's always something to gain and you still have the capacity to love.

Vivia x Worried Man - I won't lie this side quest completely caught me off-guard. My thought process went from 'aw he's in love' -> 'wait that's gay' -> 'WAIT THATS GAY WITH VIVIA' and I have never been the same since. It's pretty cute ngl, even if it's just a little side quest. Aaaaand then the rest of chapter 4 happened and I went right back to loving Viviakou, sorry Worried Man but you've got a lotta competition.

Vivia x Shinigami - Before the game released I theorized that Vivia could see Shinigami and I was so damn proud of myself to find out that I was right. Besides that, I always associated them as friends pre-release, but with chapter 4, their dynamic is very interesting. Vivia put her in her place throughout the entire labyrinth. He was more in control of the situation than she was cause he held more knowledge than any other assistant ever had before. He wasn't stuck in there with her, she was stuck in there with him. Anyways yeah I think they'd be platonic buddy ol' pals

Vivia x Fubuki - The 4-panel comic of them was adorable! I see them as friends but I can certainly see why people may view them in a more romantic light. They definitely paint each other's nails.

Vivia x Desuhiko - Another case of them being more like pals than a blossoming bromance. However, I do have a good platonic headcanon that Vivia knows how to play piano and has studied music theory as part of his endless reading escapades, so he'll sometimes help out Desuhiko when requested for assistance with practicing on his guitar. They're both very musically-inclined I know it in my heart.

Vivia x Halara - AKA the badasses. I don't view them as romantic personally, but I love them being the duo who kicks ass and takes names. Additionally, I'm sure Halara appreciates having a metaphorical cat around when they can't interact with actual cats.

Vivia x Yuma - Not uncommon for the protag to slip his way into every and all angles of ships, but I think this one works especially well. Yuma and Vivia have a very strong and well-written dynamic thanks to our lord and savior chapter 4; they develop alongside each other. It's just like Vivia said, they're accomplices, they have to fight for the truth together in order to clearly see eye-to-eye. We love short king with tall ghost guy! The appeal for this ship is very much apparent.

Vivia x Melami - I fought so hard for these two to interact and what did I get? Nothing! So, I wallow in my headcanons of them having a perfect partnership since their Fortes bounce off each other so well. Melami would absolutely despise Vivia's choice of 'clothing' though, she'd try to give him a makeover but he'd slip right out of her grasp before she could do anything.

Vivia x dying - As much as he adores the idea of death I don't think he's dying any time soon. The grim reaper plays hard to get.

Vivia x pillows - THE PAIRING HE DESERVES

Vivia x Wince Media... hey wait I know that guy from Twitter

Vivia x boxcutter knife - It's a cut above the rest [laugh track]

Vivia x nobody - Privacy is very important, I'm sure he enjoys his time alone just as much as he's grateful for attention. It's a good balance!

BONUS: Vivia x Zilch (yes the real one)- I'm inclined to bring this crack ship up cause I've been pioneering it for a long time. Heck I'm even trying to write an AU one-shot about it, I find their potential relationship so intriguing. I love my literal and metaphorical catboys!

[heartfullofxfright]

@babyitsmagic sent five times left:      ( five times the sender and receiver parted ways ) - for eli/max or ro/ash OR a mix of both if you wanna!!!

this was very obviously inspired by the similar one you wrote about ash/ro but i went with a mix <3

i. one of the hardest things about being immortal is never being able to truly set roots. the constant moving around can be exhausting. thankfully, eli and rowan have each other. it’s not as lonely as it could be, but sometimes they both wish they could have something more. their prayers seemed to be answered when they met ash and max. while they hadn’t become inseparable or the absolute best of friends, they had seemed to be on their way to something special, if only they’d had more time. but eli and rowan had already been there too long. it was difficult to have to say goodbye, to have to move on to the next town when they’d finally found others who might understand, but they were hopeful their paths would cross again someday.

ii. they should’ve been happy to see each other again. but things are different. eli and max are captaining pirate vessels with rowan and ash as their second in commands and that means there can be no playing nice. their crews wouldn’t allow it even if they’d tried. so instead of hugs and drinks and reminiscing, they’re lunging at each other in a fight that should end with two of them dead, but no one seems to be willing to take it that far. so their reunion is short lived, with no pleasantries exchanged. they fight hard, but not as hard as any are really capable of. once they’ve put on enough of a show, they part ways with reputations in tact, but at a hefty cost.

iii. rowan knows this was a mistake. not that she regrets it. she thinks she'd always be too curious to know what it was like and they both needed to get it out of their systems. but watching him sleep as she dresses quietly, she feels her chest ache in a way it never has before when she's slipped away into the night. she finds a scrap of paper and writes a quick note: "until we can sneak away again." she leaves the note on top of his clothes and hurries out of the room before she can do something stupid like convince herself it would be okay to wait until morning to leave. she hopes ash won't hate her too much for it the next time they cross paths, even if it would be easier if he did.

iv. when he sees max, eli curses under his breath. he might not be captaining a ship anymore, but that doesn't mean there's not a hell of a lotta history between them that max might want to hash out. but then she's grinning at him from the bar and next thing he knows, they're buying each other rounds of drinks and laughing at old stories. it's not the max he's used to, but it's a max he likes. he hears them calling his name from the door and he knows it's time to go. he pays for another round for max to apologize for calling the night short and leans in, pressing a kiss to her cheek to say goodbye. he thinks the fact that it had to be unexpected is the only reason he makes it out the door without max kicking his ass.

v. after giving the kids one last kiss and a big squeeze, rowan makes her way over to her brother and gives him a hug. "i'm not asking if you're sure because they've been here for five minutes and probably given you just as many reasons to try and back out, so thank you for taking them. if they do anything absolutely disastrous, you know how to find us." she honestly still can't believe she somehow conned max and eli into watching the kids so she and ash could have a breather, but she's not going to question it. eli brushes off her thanks and as they're walking out the door, he calls to them, "just remember this means you get ours next time!"

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

Ism Traps

Bro. Broseph. Brosephalus. Brocephalopod.

Hear Me.

There’s this whole cottage industry of Woke Brands that are lazily writing altered editions of pretty-okay but sometimes problematic older media. Disney’s been trying and failing to make good live-action copies of its golden age for almost twenty years now. There’s also a whole cottage industry of Anti-Woke Critique Channels, and...

I’ve seen the figures. I know how ridiculously much content someone has to produce in a too-short timeframe in order to have even a shot at making it financially on YouTube.

...but it’s still hypocrisy when they talk about the laziness of the Woke Brands Show writing and then the writing of their own show is lazy. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong about the laziness they’re calling out, mind. Just that they’re hypocrites.

Oh, and bigots.

What I’ve found, watching these critiques, is that woke brands are Bigotry Enticement Snares. Someone with a bit of privilege and a Lotta opinions will come barging in and they’ll have legit things to say about poor writing

- the Little Mermaid remake only mentions a single mother and a single father for Ariel and her siblings, but every sister is a different ethnicity. This is weird enough that it at least could have used a lampshade. - taking the role of ramming a ship into Ursula from Eric and giving it to Ariel makes it harder to believe that Triton would reverse his long-standing view on humans. If nothing else is added to help sell that idea the ending may come off hollow or even unbelievable

but then they’re enjoying the sound of their own voice and get going on

- maybe this is a psyop to make more women in black neighborhoods hate men. Did you know black people have the most single-parent households of any race? (No mention of mass incarceration here. Also totally ignores how Strong Independent Woman Don’t Need No Man is very much not exclusively an idea presented to black people)

Listen.

I get the urge to correct people who are arguing badly.

But when you’re a critic and correcting people who are arguing badly for equality and freedom you have really got to stick to focusing on just the bad argument. You go anywhere else when you’re talking about it and whoopsie-daisy you’re outing yourself.

You can also call out a brand if you think they’re trying to cynically sell a pale copy of the feeling of being a good person to you. HBomberguy’s Woke Brands video does so for like half an hour straight. It’s beautiful. But a bunch of people in the conversation are literal fascists and they’ve worked in this idea that the seeking of equality or freedom or security for marginalized people is the problem, not the cynical point of sale by the massive corporation. And if you’re lazy, or perhaps just foolish or even merely a little too tired when writing, you might regurgitate one of these ideas you heard and absorbed without examination because it had snappy wordplay. Maybe it even rhymed!

My first piece of advice is to take extra care if you’re critiquing a woke brand. If you’re making fun of Hitler you don’t need to think very hard about your insults to avoid expressing bigotry. If you’re making fun of Miss Marvel you do. Of all the penalties for white men to experience, “it’s a little less work to make fun of us without coming off as a bigot” seems pretty tame and totally fair.

My second piece of advice is that if you do overstep on one of these things, yield the fucking point. You double down on one of these conversations and you’ll find yourself swiftly surrounded by allies with tiki torches or white sheets or swastikas in a real hurry and they’ll all have Nifty Ideas to sell you once they’ve chased off “your attacker.” That Way Lies Madness.

[vrisrezis]

Again until I get more non ososan rqs yall are getting self indulgent GARBAGE here is my girl who deserves better <//3 I just want her to be happy with somebody who loves her!

Slight sashanne shipping in here ;p

MARCY RELATIONSHIP HCS!

- first of all imma go with the idea you’re in her little friend group so you guys can go on double dates with Anne and Sasha <3 but that would take place after amphibia LAWL

- thing is, with dating Marcy!!! She’s soooo nervous but excited at the same time! Like she obviously has that habit of rambling on, but this is even moreso with you because she gets so nervous and excited around you!

- he loves playing video games with you too! (And when you’re in amphibia, yknow.. other games like flipwart… she lets you win on purpose and has to explain that and Andrias just smirks knowingly)

- yknow for somebody that’s very nervous she is very physical, seriously! She can often be found grabbing onto your hand, hugging you, she’s always trying to touch you in some way physically!

- she also obviously has abandonment issues but doesn’t always act upon them or talk about them with you? Like she gets really sad whenever you go off on a mission and it’s very noticeable so Andrias usually likes to distract her with flipwart or a new mission of her own but yknow

- she just has a hard time opening up about these things sometimes which causes a lot of bottling up emotions and all that

- lotsa sleepovers like all the time LOL

- also she gets really happy whenever you interact with those close to her and show a close relationship, she gets really happy whenever you get along with Anne or Sasha! Because they’re like her family honestly!

- likes nuzzling you <//3

- cheek kisses too! Loves em!

- usually the two of you go on missions together, naturally you worry about your clumsy gf

- but when you guys meet Anne again it’s a whole lotta fun! Though admittedly Marcy finds herself jealous of Anne because she’s able to get so close and form a good bond with you! She’s always been jealous of Anne’s ability to bond with others, sometimes she feels like you’re closer to Anne..

- but hey some reassurance and hugs go a long way!

- better when Sasha comes back at least, cause Sasha easily distracts Anne’s gay ass

- she does this thing where she just squished your cheeks together and is like “babe. Listen to me.”

- during missions are like the only time she’s not clingy or touching you tbh

- also that one ep where Marcy and everyone else had to dress up . You bet her dumbass just kept blushing and staring at you in your nice outfit, any compliments sent her way and she’s dying!!

- she’s definitely an amity 2.0 btw, her entire face just gets all red when you compliment her, she lets out a nervous giggle and gives you a smile as she tries to come up with some compliment for you

- true colors spoilers as well as s3 spoilers but ;(

- she grabbed onto your hands with those tears in her eyes as she confessed her heart and soul out to you, the truth, her betrayal. She felt so heartbroken when you pulled away, you had never done that before. It hurt her more than words could explain to have you do that.

- but with everything that went down that day, you wished you could’ve helped Marcy in that moment, helped her from getting stabbed by that monster you trusted.

- you wanted to help her, but that big oaf was too strong for you to even get close.

- she felt so horrible about what happened though

- you, along with two gay newts try to help Marcy, but she was just so happy to see you again. She didn’t even think about what happened for a moment in your drunken state, being overly affectionate, telling you how much she loved you. How she’s kinda jealous of Anne sometimes, how she really really wants you all to herself sometimes but that’s so selfish of her.. isn’t it?

- what she did was selfish, but you sympathized with her ;(

- you still had a lot of thinking to do though. You weren’t gonna break up with her.. but you needed some time to yourself

- but you quickly realized you’d get that time.. and not in the way you wanted.. as Marcy soon became Darcy, you watched in horror as you could do nothing. You felt horrible, her eyes bore into yours, a horrified look on both of her faces, hers screaming ‘help me’ and yours screaming ‘I wish I could. I’m so sorry’

[sanderssideswriting]

ship: prinxiety, background intrulogical

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing, like one sexual innuendo, very breif mention of murder (as a joke, this is fluff after all) 

summary: Radio AU where Virgil runs the 11-1 am radio on his college and every night someone calls to complain about his music selections and request disney, and Virgil never plays disney.

Virgil sat in his swivel chair and put on the headphones “sup bitches I’m back and this time with like three monsters because finals are a bitch and sleep can suck my dick. The first song of the night is Lotta True Crime by Peneople Scott. Why? Because I say it is that’s why.” Virgil put the song on and worked on his final project as the songs played.

The phone rang and Virgil groaned and checked the number. This dick again. He picked up and put it on air since people seemed to love listening to him and disney guy argue. 

“listen asshole if you want to listen to Disney so fucking badly then apply for a spot and stop calling me.”

there’s a laugh “how about you just play some disney then? if you do I’ll stop calling. Because your music taste sucks.”

Virgil rolls his eyes “bitch apply for an opening and have a disney hour. And let me listen to my music, because not everyone loves fucking disney.” 

“Well many people do so why not play one song.”

Virgil snorts “first no, and second if I had to I’d make everyone regret it and play let it go.”

“Let it go is great!”

“bye bye Princey, stop calling”

Virgil hung up “and since Princey called you know what we’re playing? MCR because I know he hates it. So this one’s for you princey, up next after this ad because this place needs money. By the way if you’re not a broke bitch donate because this job is like kinda decent and I like making you all listen to the music I like. Blood by MCR is up next” Virgil played the ad and leaned back in his chair.

“Why do you take his calls if you know he’ll just be annoying?” Janus asks in class.

Virgil shrugs “since it started I get more listeners which is good for the station.”

“I think it’s funny, cause you two have cute pet names for each other, princey and emo nightmare” Remus says.

Virgil elbows him “they’re not pet names.”

“they are,” Janus says, moving so Virgil couldn’t elbow him.

Roman waits to dial the number, he had to admit he sort of enjoyed his and emo nightmare’s conversations, who refused to reveal his name or grade.

At first they’d been annoying and he’d genuinely complained about all the emo music and asking to play disney but it’d soon become a nightly ritual, that had very quickly ruined Roman’s sleep schedule.

He dialed the number “seriously, why all the emo music, emo nightmare?”

“you just answered your own question princey, why the obsession with disney songs princey? See? Sounds fucking stupid.”

Roman sighs dramatically “you wound me emo nightmare. But seriously what’ll it take to get you to play ONE disney song?”

“a hundred grand, that’s how much the station needs to keep running, do that and I’ll play ONE disney song.”

“four.”

“Three songs and a hundred and fifty grand, fifty grand per song. final offer. and I get to pick the songs.’

Roman nods “deal,”

“oh and, you have until the end of finals to get the money donated, and I’ll make the gofundme, not you.”

That’s like a month and a half away Roman thinks I’ll have enough time. “sure thing emo nightmare.”

Roman’s emo hung up. He smiles like an idiot.

“Why not ask him out? it’s clear you’re fond of him” Roman’s roommate Logan says from his side of the room.

“ask out a guy I don’t even know the name of? yeah sure” Roman snorts.

“what? Scared you’ll be rejected? I cannot believe I’m saying this, but Roman I am getting more dick then you have been ever since you started talking to your radio boy.” Logan says in an even tone.

Roman pretends to gag “you don’t need to tell me how much you and my brother have done it Logan, you two being together is enough for me to want to bleach my eyes.”

“you’re no better whenever you’re going out with someone, or even hooked up with a slightly above average guy.”

Remus barged in “Loooo I need help studying.”

Roman stood up “that’s my queue to leave.”

Remus watches Roman go “so what where you two talking about?”

“oh you know, he’s still calling the campus radio station to ask for disney songs” Logan says.

“Wait, Roman is Princey?” Remus asks, he starts laughing

“Yes? You didn’t know?”

Remus cackles “no! oh this is great! My best friend Virgil does the 11 to 1 radio, he’s Emo Nightmare and Roman is his Princey”

“We could set them up, Roam is so lovesick, I swear he’s head over heels for him and he hasn’t even met Virgil” Logan says.

Remus gasps “this is why I love you! Of course we’re going to set them up.”

Logan and Remus came up with a plan, they’d invite Roman and Virgil to a study session and then never showed up, leaving Virgil and Roman to wait.

Virgil puts on his headphones and starts loudly playing panic at the disco and reading over his shitty notes.

Someone taps him on the shoulder “hey can you turn the emo shit down, I’m trying to study and it’s really loud.”

Virgil turns it down a bit “that good?”

he nods “yeah, where you also ghosted for a study session?”

“Yeah I was, my best friend and his nerdy boyfriend where supposed to help me study, they probably forgot all about me.” Virgil says.

“Logan And Remus? Remus is my brother and Logan’s my roommate” Roman says.

“Yeah, well since we’re both here we could study together if you want” please say no please say no.

“Sounds good!” Roman says.

Fuck.

Virgil and Roman studied for awhile and Virgil very slowly started warming up to Roman. “ah shit I have to go, see you round I guess” Virgil says packing up his stuff, he wanted to have some alone time before his shift.

“ok Bye Virgil,” Roman says packing up, he had to go do his own thing, which would probably end up becoming a quick nap before his emo nightmare started his turn being the radio host.

Virgil sat in the chair “what up bitches, so far the goal has 10k, so no disney tonight, or ever because this is on a time crunch and 150k is a fuck ton of money for broke college students. And now onto Fuck you by Lily Allen. Why? Because she’s underrated and because I said so.” Virgil played the song.

Virgil got the call around 12:30 “you’re calling later then usual princey, and no, no disney tonight.”

“Oh I was just about to ask. And also I was asking how to find the gofundme.”

“It’s on the UCLA radio website, can’t miss it. Now let me do my fucking job” Virgil hung up and played MCR as was tradition.

What he didn’t know was Roman recorded the phone call and posted it everywhere he could anonymously and waited.

Virgil checked the go fund me in the morning “it has fifty k already?! What the fuck? Princey what did you do?”

Virgil waited for the nightly call “Hey what the fuck how is the goal at sixty k? How the fuck princey?”

He laughed “I asked the internet for help, I think most of it’s from tiktok, you’re going to have to play disney emo nightmare”

“fuck you princey and your stupid obsession with disney.”

“you have an obsession with my chemical romance and Brendon Urie”

“name three other artists I play on here then bitch.”

“Mother Mother, Lily Allen and as of late Derivakat” Roman says without hesitation.

Virgil was speechless for a second, then hung up. “fucking bitch, you guys know what time it is” he played Teenagers.

A week and a half passed and the funds had slowly been going up, and Virgil and Roman’s calls continued nightly as usual.

Virgil and Roman met up a few times to study for finals, sometimes with Remus and Logan, sometimes without.

the goal just barely missed the end of finals. Virgil smirked “No disney today, or ever because you people missed the goal byyyyy” Virgil checked the go fund me “three thousand dollars. I’d say better luck next time but there won’t be a next time.” he chuckled. The phone rang and Virgil picked up, knowing it was Princey.

“oooh too late princey no disney songs during my shift.”

“you might want to check the gofundme one last time my dear emo nightmare.”

Virgil refreshes the page “first of all, I’m not yours bitch second- what the fuck, how?” the goal had been met.

Roman laughs “play the disney emo. Play. The fucking. Disney.”

Virgil could tell he was gonna gloat so he hung up.

Virgil grumbles and gets the disney queued “ok fine the goal was met, so time for my suffering, I have queued Fixer Upper from Frozen because it’s a shitty song with a shitty message. Make a man out of you because I like Mulan and for everyone’s inconvenience I have How Far I’ll Go so have fun with that stuck in your head.”

Roman was a bit insulted when Emo nightmare hung up on him, so he called him back once the songs had ended “wasn’t so hard was it?”

“for you maybe, it was for me,” Virgil hung up and blocked the number.

Over the Summer both Virgil and Roman found themselves missing their talks. Roman so much so he applied for one of the newly opened spots for the next semester from 2-5 pm.

Virgil drove onto campus at 4, putting on campus radio and was met with disney. the song ended and the new host spoke “and I hope everyone liked that, up now is a short commercial break.”

Virgil nearly swerved off the road and pulled over and called the station.

Roman picked up. “Hey what the actual FUCK?” Virgil says as soon as he does.

Roman laughs “oh how the tables have turned Emo Nightmare”

“I hate you, I fucking hate you what the actual fuck princey”

he laughed more “You yourself said that working here is nice, and there was an opening, so I took it. You should be happy, I mean now I won’t brother you about playing disney.”

Virgil frowned “yeah yeah, whatever princey have fun with that.”

“oh I will emo nightmare, I absolutely will.” Roman hung up feeling happy in a way he hadn’t felt all summer.

Virgil unpacked his stuff in his new dorm, he was a little pissed but also excited. Maybe he and princey would finally meet face to face. Why am I excited about that? I hate him, at the least he annoyed me every day for months, but he did raise a bunch of money. Even if his disney obessed ass is super annoying.

Roman walked in at 6 “hey Virgil, I’m guessing you’re going to be my roommate?”

Virgil looked up from his laptop “I guess, don’t take my monsters from the fridge and we’ll be golden, or blast disney 24/7″

Roman chuckled “what do you have against disney?”

“Micky Mouse killed my parents in front of me after I said that Merida was my favorite princess.” Virgil said dryly.

Roman chuckled “that’s why I dedicated my life to the mouse.”

“That’s why I swore to get my revenge on the mouse.”

“I won’t blast disney 24/7 but you can’t blast your emo music.” Roman says

Virgil snorted “dude I have the worst anxiety I don’t even own a speaker. so you don’t blast your music, I won’t blast mine and we’ll be fine.”

“Deal,”

Roman called that night like always and Virgil was ready “aww Princey, did you miss me that much?”

“not really, but I’m still trying to get you to willingly play a disney song.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “you know what, it’s a new year, time for a new leaf, I’ll humor you princey and play a disney song.”

“wait really?”

Virgil queued up Mad At Disney “no.” he hung up and the song started.

Virgil and Roman went back to their usual routine of lowkey flirting with each other during Virgil’s shift, and sometimes during Roman’s.

They where getting along well as roomates but hadn’t figured out that they where each other’s Princey and emo nightmare.

Somehow he and Princey had gotten into an argument about if Cruella would be a good or bad movie. Roman had hope it would be, Virgil wasn’t so convinced.

“Princey, she is a completely evil character, she can’t be redeemable, she shouldn’t be. She wanted to make puppies into a coat, that’s fucked up. There’s no black and white she’s bad and that’s that.”

“Maybe if you gave the movie a chance!”

“fuck no! did you not hear what I just fucking said?”

“then how about we see it then we can see who’s right?”

“fine, I’m free at three this Satuday.” Virgil said, way too caught up in the moment.

“same, see you then emo nightmare, I’ll be by the doors waiting.”

“fine, but I’m going to be right.”

“then it’s a date!”

“I guess it is!” Virgil hung up.

he didn’t realize he’d said yes to going out on a date with a guy he didn’t even know until the next day.

The whole campus was freaking out about it since the station had blown up quite a bit because of Virgil and Roman’s nightly arguments. 

Roman left early, he’d dressed up a bit, and had a disney shirt with a little crown logo on it, it wasn’t that obvious but he figured it’d be telling enough.

Virgil put on a bit more eyeliner then usual and fishnets under his ripped jeans but that was about it, he chose to be petty and waited until about 3:20 to go to the doors where Roman wait waiting.

Virgil walked passed him at first. Roman saw him “emo nightmare?”

Virgil stopped “are you fucking kidding me?” he got a few glares from parents. “You’re princey? my fucking roommate?”

“I did not plan that, but yeah I am, and you’re my emo nightmare.”

Virgil rolled his eyes “still not yours princey, come on the movies about to start.”

They exited the movie and Virgil grinned “I fucking told you it’d be bad, I told you!”

“yeah yeah, you did it was bad. Want to get some coffee?”

“sure, I’ll pay,” Virgil said casually.

Roman grinned “I’ll win you over one day my emo nightmare.”

“stop begging me to play disney music and maybe you will.”

[semper-legens]

127. The Unadoptables, by Hana Took

Owned?: No, library Page count: 384 My summary: Five orphans at the Little Tulip Orphanage are considered to be unadoptable - twelve-fingered Lotta, mute Fenna, artistic Egbert, tailor Sem, and mysterious Milou. When a shady character comes claiming to want to adopt all five, the orphans are thrilled...until they realise he just wants cheap labour on their ship. One daring escape later, the orphans are on their own in Amsterdam, trying to survive in the world on their own, and unravel the mysteries of Milou’s past. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

Sometimes, I feel self-conscious about the fact that I occasionally dip into children’s fiction in my own reading for pleasure. I mean, I’m 26, books for the 8-12 market are very much not aimed at me. But on the other hand, some of these middle-grade books are really good, completely charming, and exactly the kind of thing I would have loved to read when I was a more appropriate age. And, well, after it staring at me from a library shelf at work every day, I just had to give it a try. Which turned out to be a very good decision!

If I have one criticism of this book, it’s that the five main characters are sometimes hard to tell apart. Milou is our main protagonist, the only one of the five who has some clues about her past and thus the ability to research it, and as such is obviously a bit better-defined than the other four. However, the author does defend that decision in the foreword and, honestly, more power to her. The focus on Milou’s story as opposed to the rest of the four does seem a bit myopic, but Milou’s singleminded focus on her family at the expense of her friends is portrayed as a character flaw of hers, it’s consciously written in.

And these kids are exactly what you’d want from a story about plucky orphans in late-1800s Amsterdam. They’re plucky, they’re bright, they’re imaginative, and they act like real kids! I love how creative Milou is in imagining her potential family histories, her fanciful stories are exactly what a kid in her situation might imagine. And the kids are often childish in their reactions to things - when arriving at the address Milou assumes is her family home and finding it empty, the kids decide to stay in the house and assemble a puppet-father, pretending it’s the man of the house and they’re his adopted kids. It’s such a childlike way of solving this problem, and it’s honestly delightful to read.

I cannot overstate how charming this book is. It’s an absolute delight from cover to cover. It’s an 1800s setting, it’s got plucky orphans outwitting authorities and solving mysteries, it’s got stories and storytelling and kids trying to make their way in the world. It’s everything I’d want from a kids’ book, honestly. I’m so glad I got over my self-consciousness and read it.

Next, into the Whoniverse...for a story of vampires.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

pairing: cartel!shota aizawa x fem!reader

words: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, this will be a cartel!au, so mentions of c*ke and distribution...yeah lol, suggestive content towards the end of the chapter (vague description of a bj), angst, cheating, aizawa just ain’t shit in this story LMFAOOO

a/n: this is the third fucking time i’ve tried to post this so if it doesn’t work i’m gonna cry. but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE and i can’t wait for you all to see what i’ve got planned. so uh...strap yourselves in it’s about to get crazy. sorry ms joke </3

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐚’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

The salty, warm breeze from the ocean whipped its way through Shota’s onyx locks, tossing them around with a gentle force. Miami was gorgeous from the water, skyscrapers alight with the buzzing energy of the city, streets crawling with good food and even better looking women. Gorgeous full lips wrapped around martini glasses, criminally short dresses clinging to any skin it was given. He didn’t care much for the nightlife, opting to observe the partygoers from a distance.

He wasn’t here to socialize.

He was here to work.

His wrists draped over the edge of the rail that separated him and the water, a small portion of his weight against the cool metal. When Hizashi suggested that he get a yacht he nearly spat out his whiskey, face contorted in an expression of annoyance and disdain. Shota didn’t understand why someone would need such a flashy boat, it was merely a watercraft meant for travel and or fishing. This wasn’t the 1400’s where one’s worth was tied to the size of a man’s ship. Just another glorified pissing contest for rich people with too much money, and not enough couple’s therapy in the world that could keep them home for days at a time.

It’s not as if he was in any position to judge though, his pinky coming to rest just below the silver band that rarely inhabited his ring finger these days. He doesn’t entirely know what possessed him to wear it, whether it be the ever-crushing guilt from lying to his wife, or the text he’d received from Emi this morning that read:

“Make sure to bring me back a mojito! Don’t work yourself too hard, and remember how much I love you!💕”

If only she knew that these tri-monthly “Inter-Departmental Hero Conferences” were just fronts for selling a literal boat-load of cocaine.

Turns out, yachts were really good for that.

In the span of just five years, superhuman society was nearing it’s peak. Upon the graduation of all the students in the 1-A Hero Course, and Izuku Midoriya’s induction as the new Symbol of Peace; the world began to see an astronomical shift. Crime rates were the lowest they’d ever been, with Japan and the States sitting at 2 and 4.5 percent, respectively. Newly minted Pro Heroes roamed the streets, bringing security to those who needed it and striking fear into the hearts of those who were on the wrong side of the law.

But this utopia came at a price. With the sudden influx of fresh and talented pros, crime decreased exponentially, leaving little villain-based work for Heroes to get paid for. Hostage situations and evacuation efforts took backseat to helping older women across the street and assisting young children with their schoolwork. Soon enough, peace became a burden for those whose careers surrounded chaos.

Aizawa was no exception to this dilemma. Once Midoriya and his classmates graduated and obtained their Hero Licenses, he’d ended his tenure as an instructor at UA. He felt that he’d done his civic duty as a teacher and a Pro, and produced some of the finest Heroes the world would come to see. So he began to settle down. Surprisingly, he’d begun to tolerate Joke’s incessant laughter and boisterous personality, and soon fell in love with the eccentric woman. Between patrols and giving advice to aspiring Heroes at the community center, he and Emi explored all the the world had to offer; swapping out steel-toed combat boots for soft plush flip flops against hot sand. After three years he’d proposed, much to Emi’s delight (and Ashido’s upon hearing that Mr. Aizawa could actually tolerate another human being). The ceremony was small, and intimate. Shinsou serving as the ring bearer, and Eri as the flower girl. Mic even shed a few tears during the toast, though he’ll deny it if Kayama ever brings it up.

For a while, things were good. Life was good. Emi was glowing with the energy of a new life blossoming inside her, and Shota fantasized about meeting his little girl, counting all of her dainty fingers and toes, and doting on her for all to see.

Or at least it was, before agencies began to close. Paychecks got smaller and smaller. Heroes were struggling to find work and their pockets began to struggle along with them. With Emi on maternity leave, and Hero society coming to a standstill, things were looking grim. He needed to provide for his family, his wife, his children.

He needed a plan, and fast.

Luckily, Hizashi always did have good standing with everyone’s favorite Bird Boy. So he called in a few favors.

“Just for a couple months man! We stir up a little bit of noise, make a couple ripples and bam! Crime rate’s back up, and we get back to makin’ money. It’s temporary. Nobody will ever know, I’ll make sure of it. I got you.” Hizashi pleaded, an arm slung across Aizawa’s shoulders as he pensively gazed into his glass of amber liquid. He’d done some vigilante work here and there in his twenties but this....this was outright criminal. But what choice did he have?

Just a few months, he’d said. If only it’d worked out that way.

“I was getting worried you wouldn’t show, Eraser!” Zhu thundered, hands clapping joyously at the other man’s timeliness. “That’s some boat you got there, let me guess...the wife’s idea?” He queried, eyebrows waggling emphatically as Aizawa descended from the metal ladder and onto the wooden pier; eyes rolling into the back of his head at Zhu’s...excitable personality. The two had known each other for about two years or so, having gotten acquainted over the course of Shota’s many trips between Japan and the States, and sometimes South America. Zhu Kanaka was a man of the lower ranks, opting to use his easygoing disposition to negotiate deals for Takami “Lord of The Skies” Keigo, better known as Hawks. Standing at a solid 6 foot 4, with thick black locks that spiked into a point reminiscent of an onion, thick bushy brows and a set jaw, you’d think he wouldn’t hesitate to punt anyone like a football.

At least until he opened his mouth.

“As it turns out, Emi hates the damn thing. Makes her seasick. Hizashi talked me into getting the fuckin’ eyesore.” He intoned. His left hand palmed his slacks for the emergency pack of cigarettes he kept in his back pocket for when he was stressed during a deal, although he never really needed them anymore after Eri said she wanted him to quit. He still held on to them though, just in case. “The hell you waiting for? You know the deal man. Let’s see it.” He muttered, silently willing for Zhu to get on with it so he could get in a bed. Three and a half hours on a goddamned boat (that you didn’t even want to begin with) will do that to you.

“Someone looks like he needs a nap. Alright, I got ya. Count it, make sure it’s all there. I had Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there pack it, so you might wanna double check.” Zhu quipped, jerking a thumb towards the two young men currently engaged in a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors; the pair of them flushing upon receiving one of Aizawa’s infamous stares. Two thick black duffles were handed to his two bodyguards, the men immediately unzipping and checking the stacks, a mental tally steadily climbing higher and higher as they sifted through the cash.

“He’s good. Four hundred thousand in each bag. It’s all there, Eraser.” Sato affirmed, Toru nodding alongside the man. “Good. Go ahead and call Jamie, tell him to bring the car around. Zhu, I’ll send Sato and Toru to help your men unload our shipment. It’s a hefty one, so you’ll need the assistance.” Shota offered, shoulders visibly relaxing at the thought of getting some alone time in an empty hotel room.

“Yeah that’d be great, thanks! How long you in town for?”

“Until about 3pm tomorrow. I’ll be on my flight back to Kyushu then.” He states, right arm extending to clasp the other man’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re goin to that meeting the Big Man’s holding in a few days right?” Zhu queries. “Unfortunately, yes. Gonna miss my little girl’s first doctor’s appointment for this shit.”

“No way! She had the baby?!?!? Congratulations man! How’s it feel?” Zhu exclaims, eyes alight with joy for his friend’s new addition to the family. “Feels good. She had a smooth pregnancy, everything worked out fine. Hana’s beautiful, and healthy. I couldn’t be more proud.” Shota brags slightly, heart swelling at the thought of his little girl and how proud he was to know he’d helped in making someone so...ethereal. “Wow. Raising another kid, you flying out all the damn time, along with whatever else you got goin on?? No wonder you look like shit.”

Red eyes and floating hair caused Zhu to immediately retract his former statement.

“Aw I’m just joshin’ Eraser! But I hear ya. It’s a lotta’ sacrifices that go into this, but they’re who we do it for. All of it. Ya know?” Zhu amends, eyes shimmering with the reflection of the city lights off of the water.

Did he even know who... or what he was doing this for anymore?

Shota found himself asking that question more and more often as of late.

“...Right.”

“Anyway, you’re probably spent, so I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you man, send Emi my love!” Zhu shouted as he slowly walked towards the men unloading his boat. “Likewise. Tell Macie and the kids I said hello.” Aizawa responded dryly, body screaming for some kind of relief from this exhaustion.

“Will do! Oh, by the way! You might wanna bring some cooler clothes and sunscreen with your pale ass, I hear Guadalajara’s pretty sunny around this time of year! See you in a few days man!” The male laughed, throwing him a wave as he slowly disappeared into the darkness of the port. Massaging the bridge of his nose in irritation, Aizawa nodded in acknowledgement as Jamie pulled up alongside him; his hand reaching for the handle and dragging his siphoned body into the backseat.

Jamie could sense his employer’s weary expression, and didn’t make any attempts at conversation, merely opting to start making his way to the hotel while smooth jazz floated through the car. Forehead against the door of the towncar, Shota typed out a quick message to his wife:

“Alcohol is the last thing you need sweetheart, and I love you too. Got another meeting in a few days, mandatory. I’ll in be in Mexico, so I’ll miss Hana’s appointment. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”

Sent.

The message sat for a few seconds before Emi read and typed out a response:

“Aw, bummer! </3 Dont worry, work is much more important right now. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures!”

“You don’t have to make it up to us, you caring is enough. Get some sleep old man, me and the girls love you. xoxo, Wifey 😘 ”

He didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t deserve any of them.

This he knew. And yet, it didn’t stop him from responding to the unknown number that texted his phone every time he happened to be in town.

“Same time and place? Desperately in the mood to play....My toys just aren’t as good as yours, Eraser. ;)”

His heart sank. A beat passes. Then two.

Calloused thumbs move fluidly across the screen. He’s done this far too many times.

“Be there in 10. You know the routine.”

And in retrospect...he would’ve been way better off just blowing off Guadalajara and going to Hana’s appointment.

Because while he wrapped her slick ponytail around his hand, as a head that wasn’t his wife’s dipped between his legs, he didn’t think this would be his last moment of peace. Shoved down the throat of a woman who’s name he had long forgotten, settling for calling her whatever pet name he felt like adorning her with, her hands clawing at the soft and sleek cotton of his trousers.

Aizawa never anticipated that this would be the last time he would be in a room without immediate reinforcements, and be content.

The last time someone he didn’t trust with his life knew his location, and he wasn’t terrified.

The last moments of peace in his world before it all went to hell.

Temecula, California;

1:36am

The office floor was barren. Dark, coffee stained carpet congealed with the bacteria of old and new; giving it a sad beige color from the creamy foam-like white it was when the building was built. Cubicles cluttered with miscellaneous paperwork from separate departments, all of it raining down from desk to desk like a fresh layer of snow on the first day of winter. Tired, weary hands typed at a computer with precision and accuracy, the warm glow from the screen illuminating the buttons on her blouse as she plowed through each document. Her body raged for a moment of rest, but she couldn’t give in. Not when so much was at stake, not when so much needed to be done in so little time.

After a few minutes, and approximately twelve sips of bittersweet lukewarm coffee, the fingers came to a halt. A sigh of relief was freed from her body as she pushed the enter button on the dusty, tan keyboard and began to pack up for the night. Since the computers were set on an activity timer, there was no need for her to physically shut it down. After 30 seconds of no visible movement, the screen flashed a message declaring that the activity would be suspended within the next 2 minutes if no motion was detected. Content with her work, she slung her work bag over her shoulder, and trudged towards the elevator, mentally clocking out for the night.

As the elevator slowly carried its passenger down, the computer continued its countdown before discontinuing its power, leaving the following words for nobody but its future recipient to read:

Drug Enforcement Agency Operative Travel Request:

Agent: L/N, F/N

Current Operation: Potential formation of a rising cartel under the leadership and or affiliation of Pro Heroes Hawks, Endeavor, and Eraserhead. Agent has been undercover for eight months and twenty-seven days.

Investigation Status: Active

Location of Travel: Guadalajara, Mexico

Reason for Request: Possible gathering of multiple Hero-Run plazas to discuss further movement. Will gather more intel and gain trust of suspects involved/acquire more resources for investigation.

Travel Request Status: Accepted.

[id-never-letyoudown]

Rare pair hell below (plz work readmore) part 2

Henry Hidgens didn't have the best childhood. Being shipped off to live with his aunt and uncle after coming out to his parents and then disowned does not make for a happy nor healthy mind. He was sixteen when it happened. His only light in those trying times were his aunt and uncle. They supported him. No matter what he wished to do.

He wanted to learn an instrument? Sure. He wanted to take up songwriting? Absolutely. Shoot a gun? You bet. And Henry was quite ambitious to say the least. He dabbled in a little bit of everything while he lived with them. It had been the first time he'd been allowed to truly express himself.

And they accepted him. Sure they had to get used to a few things, they'd sometimes use the wrong name-but they were always quick to correct themselves. And that was all he could ask for. His parents never bothered to try. Last he heard they were telling people that their only daughter had died and they had no sons.

Henry wanted to do big things, make a name for himself doing what he loved. And he just happened to love many things-and if you asked him he excelled at them all. Of course.

It took some string pulling and a lot of extra credit and the like, but Henry had managed to get himself accepted into a nice college outside of Hatchetfield. He never could decide on what he wanted to do, so again he tried a bit of everything that tickled his fancy.

He was particularly gifted in biology. Anything to do with the human body. And had a special interest in things that had adverse effects on them as well. Diseases, plagues-you name it.

His presentations drew a lot of attention. Attention that brought him to the door of the P.E.I.P. Not literally to their door, of course. Especially when he moved back and resumed his studies in Hatchetfield. They were interested in him. His intellect. And thought he could help them. The fact that he called Hatchetfield his home was another point of interest. And the fact that his last remaining family had died in a freak accident months prior made him stand out. A smart man who knew how to handle a gun and who wouldn't be missed if he should disappear? He was practically made for their organization.

Henry declined their initial offer, having just landed a position on a team of scientists currently studying a disease he was very curious about-and just so happened to be immune to.

He had made a lot of friends at Hatchetfield Community College-a few of which became his lovers. They would all go to the football field at five o'clock to catch up every day. Always. Henry had been a little impatient and wasn't as thorough as he should have been during his decontamination procedure one day, eager to see his boys.

He infected every one of them. And had to watch them each die, one by one. Comforting them while searching for a cure. He still visits that campus in the anniversary of the start of their collective deaths, because having to go back days in a row would have been too much for him.

He ended up joining P.E.I.P shortly after that. He wasn't at the top of their ranks, sure. But he was known as a good marksman and the person you wanted to see if you needed some special equipment. But his speciality was theorizing. Because he had this uncanny ability of almost always being right.

It was discovered that he had foresight. Not the most powerful they've seen, but a good asset nonetheless. This is what made him a valuable member of P.E.I.P.

It should be noted that Henry, though preferring very much to work alone, had grown incredibly fond of a certain general. The two had even-and continue to-hooked up on several occasions. Henry had gotten a little attached and was hurt when he discovered McNamara was marrying his good friend Xander-but he supported them both fully. The three do still fool around together and Henry even became the surrogate for their son, in exchange for "a bottle of brandy for every stretchmark" and "never ask me for anything ever again".

His time at P.E.I.P was filled with adventure and excitement. He loved every minute of it.

And then the fatal day happened.

Henry was well aware that they had lost an agent to the Black and White. But that didn't stop his curiosity. He swore it was like it was calling to him. The portal. He'd dream about it. Sometimes he found himself passing by the lab it was kept in and stopping for no reason other than to gaze longingly at it.

He didn't have the clearance to venture into the Black and White, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't come up with a good enough reason for he himself to go.

And then one day he just so happened to find the masterkey card just... lying on his desk. Like it was waiting for him. And when he grabbed it it felt as though someone was standing right over him. Just this great, overwhelming presence. But a... welcomed one. Which wouldn't make sense to him until later.

He had to sneak in when everyone else had gone. But once he made it, once he stepped into the Black and White for the very first time-he fucking ate the primordial pavement and cracked his helmet.

And just as the panic was about to set in he heard it. A man's voice. One he's heard before but could only now make out.

It'd felt like he'd been wandering around that great expanse of nothingness for days-it had only been minutes-but seeing this stranger, and knowing he must have so much to tell him, made it all worth it.

"Was wondering when you were gonna get the hints, Dove." The man spoke, wearing far too much denim for Henry's tastes-but somehow he made it work. "Bet you got a lotta questions."

"You have no idea-" where did he go-oh!

Henry's helmet was gone now. And he could feel the man's warm breath against his ear. And feel him right behind him. Practically touching. "Oh but I do." When he turned around the man was gone. Henry only had to look back to find him in his original position. "And I can answer them all."

".... There's a catch, isn't there." It wasn't a question. Henry knew he needed to leave through the portal soon, unless he wanted to stay there trapped forever. "What do you want?"

"Smart, Dove. See, that's why I like you. Straight to the point. You know exactly what you want." Oh please, it took him years to settle on a major- "It just wasn't plain to see. Power."

"Power?"

"Power. Fame. Recognition. And everything in between. I can give you it all. All you have to do is shake my hand."

"I shake your hand and I become a pawn for one of your lords, is that right?" Henry eyes him skeptically, but the offer was tempting. After all-

"You know apotheosis is already upon us. Might as well rig the show while there still is one."

Henry stares at the stretched out hand, his own twitching at his side. It was true. He's seen it. Several Its, actually. So many outcomes. So many branching realities. Lost when he woke up. But coming back to the surface the longer he stayed here.

"I..." He reached for his hand, eyes finding bright, apple green. He saw a promise. A promise for power. For the ability to set the pieces wherever he wished and watch them fall. For everything he could ever wish for and... more? More.

Henry wanted so much more than what he'd been given. What he worked for.

And just as he was about to lay his palm down he was yanked back. Something had pulled on his lifeline, sending him stumbling back.

"Henry!" The general shouted behind him, and just as he looked back, to give the stranger one more look, he was gone. "Henry what were you thinking?!"

"No..." Henry had to be dragged back through the portal, kicking and screaming. "No-let me go! Let me-" and then the crying began. He couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his cheeks. When he finally stopped resisting McNamara let him sink to the floor, in front of the deactivated portal. And the promises it held.

"You should have let me go." His voice cracked, slumping foward. Black strands of hair fell in his face, obscuring his vision. Not that the tears weren't already doing that. "You should have-" he hiccupped.

A hush fell over the room. An odd tingling sensation ran over him. Similar to walking out into the heat after spending hours in a cold theater. His hair, strand by strand. From root to tip. Began to turn a silvery white.

Needless to say P.E.I.P didn't let him go for a long while after that. They interrogated him. Poked and prodded. Took samples of his hair. Something told Henry he needed them to think he was just slightly unhinged. Just a bit. Just enough to get them to believe he wasn't a threat.

And when they did let him go, they called it 'retirement' and gave him a new identity. And a job as a professor. Just to be safe. So no one would ask questions. He wasn't particularly happy about it. And stormed out of the facility in a huff. During a big storm.

McNamara was right on his heels. "This is just a precaution, Henry-"

"A precaution?! Putting foam on sharp corners in a precaution-this is just-u g h!" Henry threw his hands up, already soaked to the bone. White hair sticking to his face. Damn he needed a haircut. "This is wrong and you know it!"

"You entered the portal without permission-do you know what could have happened if I didn't come back?!" He had to shout just to be heard over the sound of pouring rain.

"This place was like home to me, you know that-and I make one mistake and that's it?! Poof! How fair is that?!"

"I'm trying to convince them to let you back on, I just need you to lay low-"

"Lay low?!" He laughed bitterly, pushing his hair out of his eyes. You couldn't even tell the difference between the rain and his tears. "I'm Henry 'Hidgens' now! What the fuck kind of name is that? And sixty-three?! R e a l l y?! I don't even look that old! Who's going to believe that?!"

He spread his arms out in a wide arc, "You're all going to regret not having me here, just you wait and see. You're going to come crawling to ol' Henry Hidgens, Biology professor at Hatchetfield Community College for help one day and you know what he's going to say? Fuck y-"

Thunder shook the area, lightning lighting up the sky in a crooked arc. And then, in the blink of an eye, Henry was struck.

That's what he got for ranting in the middle of a storm.

Anyways, when he was given the okay to return home he spent months crafting his new life. Hey, if he was going to be given a new identity he might as well have fun with itm and he still had to heal from that lightning strike.

He bore a scar that branched like veins all down across his body. Staring from the left side of his neck, and down to his right ankle. He liked to play up the 'unhinged and questionable professor' bit a lot. And loved to pepper in the very real fact that he'd been struck by lightning.

Hell of a thing to brag about.

It had been nearly half a year now since then. He's settled into his new life nicely. Becoming Hatchetfield's known hermit of a whacky professor.

Lately he'd been having a feeling he was being watched. And sometimes, sometimes, he'd see him. The man he now knew as Wilbur Cross. The agent P.E.I.P had lost. They never told him what actually happened though.

He had just come in from his garden one day when he felt it. That familiar presence.

Henry set his basket of apples down. His aunt and uncle had owned this house before, and planted a nice garden-which had been neglected after their passing, but Henry was tending it now. They had a few apple trees as well. Henry planned on making a pie.

That presence was still there. Bearing over him. He didn't know if he was just being paranoid or hopeful or what. Regardless-he went behind his bar, took up his shotgun, and returned shortly after.

And when he did he froze. Because there he was, sitting on the counter. Eating one of the apples. At first the shock was enough to make his jump and aim right at him-not that it bothered this man to have a gun trained on him.

"Wilbur..." Henry didn't know what he felt exactly when he saw him, but suffice to say he was overwhelmed. He lowered his shotgun.

"Hey there, Dove. Ya miss me-"

"I accept."

"Whoa now-at least let me do the pitch!"

"You already did that, remember? And I accept, on one condition."

Wilbur's brow cocked, "Who said you could make conditions?"

"I did. It's an easy thing, really." He came closer, just as Wilbur hopped down from the counter. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey, sliding it over to himself. "Every promise you make to me, you have to keep. And, we seal the deal with a drink."

"You trying to butter me up with booze and apples?"

"The apples are a coincidence."

"A n d you're making demands of me? On top of pulling a g u n on me?.... You know, I think this might be the start of a great partnership. Pass me a shot glass-" he saw Henry pop the lid off the bottle and take a drink with hardly a grimace. His heart would have skipped. If it still beat. "... damn, Dove."

"So, we got a deal or what?"

"First of all, my line." Wilbur grabs the bottle from him, fingers lingering a few seconds too long. "Second, you bet your sweet ass."

They drank together. And thus started their partnership.

[kill-the-feels]

Teacher

a/n: it’s lil’ ol’ me again, back with the next installment of rex and the mechanic! this one took a while to write because i kept getting distracted but thank you to everyone who has liked/commented/reblogged. i adore you all!!💜💜

word count: 1.6k

warnings: this one’s got some suggestive content at the end (nothing major) and a whooole lotta fluff.

Finding things to do in between battles is always a challenge, and it often results in impromptu shows of skills. Sometimes, this comes in the form of sparring, especially when everyone is itching for a fight. But more often than not, it‘s target practice.

There‘s a healthy little competition between the troopers, made even bigger when more than one company of men are on a mission.

You watch as Rex takes aim at a target. His hand is steady, hips cocked at an angle.

Normally, the 501st captain keeps himself above all this. But this time, he’s in full-blown show off mode.

The blaster bolt rips through the air and lands smack in the middle of the target.

The 501st boys crow out insults to the 212th boys. You laugh, content to watch from your spot on the ground.

This mission to Jakku has been hot and long, with little relief. You can only imagine the troopers are just as happy as you are that night is finally setting in.

“Th’ commander could never beat that,” Fives shouts, and the 212th is quick to shout insults back. Commander Cody is nowhere to be seen, and you figure he’s probably made himself scarce to avoid all this. A wise choice, you’re starting to think, as two troopers exchange friendly punches.

You roll your eyes, taking another bite of your rations. Rex holsters his blaster, ignoring the jeers. He takes his seat beside you, his hand finding yours. In the low light, it’s impossible to notice the action unless someone is really looking.

You tighten your grip on him.

“At least our mechanic can shoot,” Boil, one of the 212th, shouts.

“His foot, maybe,” Fives calls back. He looks at you. It’s a challenge. The 212th mechanic, a civilian Twi’lek, stands up, cracking his knuckles.

“I’m not shooting a blaster,” you tell Rex. The other mechanic takes aim and fires. It’s a good shot; just a little to the left of the middle.

“Let’s go,” Fives shouts. “The 501st could beat that in their sleep.”

“Let’s see it then!” someone calls. All eyes turn to you and it goes silent.

“Rex, I really can’t shoot,” you murmur. He’s casually neutral, but you feel his thumb rub over the back of your hand, reassuring. Further insults are being hurled in the lull between shooters.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” he says, tone even and leaving no room to argue.

“But, sir-” Fives protests, mouth open in surprise. Rex raises an eyebrow.

“I said, I think that’s enough. It’s been plenty loud for one night.” As if on cue, Cody materializes, breaking up the two squads, and reminding troopers that above all, they’re still in battle. Noise and light infractions - like that of stray blaster bolts - are strictly prohibited.

Rex releases your hand and stands up.

“See you in a bit?” you whisper. He nods, already tugging his helmet back on.

The two of you are in no hurry to flaunt your relationship for all eyes to see. So, if that means quick handholding and unspoken communication, that’s what it will be.

*****

He finds you before you find him the next morning. You’re under the belly of an LAAT/i, which’s had sand wreak havoc on its internals. There’s a fine layer of grit and grease on everything. It’s hot work - there’s little shade, even underneath the transport, and durasteel retains heat like nothing else.

Someone grabs your ankle and pulls you out. You’re in an irritated mood already, and you come out ready to hurl insults at whoever just greeted you in such a way.

“Oh. It’s you.” Rex’s helmet, with it’s Jaig Eyes stares down at you.

“Hello to you too,” he says drily. You wipe some of the grit off your face with your sleeve.

“Sorry. I’m just frustrated.” He helps you up, hand coming up to wipe some of the grit you missed on your forehead.

“So you could use a break?” You consider him.

“Well, yes. But the 212th mechanic isn’t taking a break.” Actually, you haven’t see him since earlier in the day, and the area he’d been working in is strangely quiet.

“Forget that. I could use a break.” You follow Rex into the hot sunshine, already missing the little shade afforded by the LAAT/i. He takes you outside of the camp, to a twisted hunk of metal that used to be a large droid.

It, apparently, never stood a chance against the clones.

Rex offers you his blaster. You take it gingerly, looking between it and him in confusion.

“What’s this for?” He backs the two of you up a few paces.

“I think it’s time you learned to shoot, don’t you?” You laugh, figuring he’s kidding.

“There’s no reason for me to shoot. I’m never in the battles and we’ve already established I can hold my own in hand-to-hand.” You, in fact, cannot hold your own in hand-to-hand.

Rex snorts.

“That was not holding your own. That was you cheating.” He’s talking about the one and only time you tried to spar Rex. (It ended up with Rex on the floor and you on top of him.)

“If it worked, was it really cheating?” He ignores you, pointing at the blaster.

“Everyone should know how to shoot. Now, you want to make sure your hand is steady when you take the shot. It will help improve your aim. Point the blaster at the target.” You’re used to working with your hands, so you figure this won’t be too hard.

Except it is. Rex goes through a whole litany of rules, then tells you to fire, but before you can even pull the trigger, he leans in close.

“Safety’s still on, Cyar’ika,” he says. You grit your teeth, flicking it off.

The first shot misses, as do the second and third. You take a deep breath, trying to calm the frustration. You don’t like doing something if you aren’t good at it. And shooting? You’re not good at it.

“Concentrate,” Rex says. You side-eye him.

“I am.” He reaches around and supports your arm.

“On the target, not the gun.” You take a deep breath, firing again. This time, it hits the very top of the target. Good enough for you.

“Yes!” Rex pulls out his other blaster.

“Good shot,” he says. He fires without even looking. It hits dead center.

“Show off,” you mutter.

“You’ll get there one day,” he responds, and even though his helmet is still on, you can tell he’s smiling.

Rex has you practice a few more shots, and by the end, he’s standing right behind you, arms wrapped around our waist and helping you aim as he points out various tips. The warmth of the day doesn’t compare to the way his touch makes you feel.

The sun is going down by the time you’ve made three decent, consecutive shots. Rex has removed his helmet, leaving it sitting in the sand.

You lower the blaster and survey the shots.

“Good job,” he says, resting his head on your shoulder. The closer the two of you have gotten, the more touchy he is. You lean your own head down on his.

“I’ve got a good teacher.” You know the two of you need to head back - if they haven’t missed you by now, they’ve definitely missed Rex - but there’s a cool breeze blowing by, and the stars are starting to come out.

“Maybe you can teach me how to hot wire next,” he says. “Show me how to steal a ship.” You attempt to swat at him.

“I don’t know how to steal a ship. It’s illegal.” He catches your hand, so you start to sweep your leg back, with the goal of knocking him off his feet. It works, but he pulls you down with him. You’ll have sand everywhere. (It’s worth it.)

He rolls over, propping up on his elbow and leaning over you.

“We should get back,” you murmur. His gaze flicks down to your lips.

“In a minute.” Rex kisses you then, lips hot and needy. He bites your bottom lip, drawing a little moan from you. Your hands come up, cupping his face, then sliding to the back of his head and pulling him closer. His chest presses against yours, and your legs tangle together. It’s been awhile since the two of you’ve been able to do something like this, and it shows in the way you kiss. Pent up passion fights for an out. You claw your hand down his back, intent on getting the armor off, as his own hands start working the top portion of your jumpsuit off.

Rex’s comm lights up.

“Sir? We need you at base camp. Can you hear me? Sir?” It’s Fives. Rex groans, head falling down to your chest.

“Kriff,” he sighs. He hates to leave. The moonlight looks lovely on you; flushed and aroused, laying there beneath him. And he’s no better than you. There’s a lovely pink flush on his cheeks, and his codpiece is achingly tight.

“I guess we should go,” you say finally. He nods, loathe to get up.

“Sir?” Rex finally stands, answering Fives while you compose yourself. He picks up his helmet from the ground, and you adjust your jumpsuit top. You wait until he clicks the comm back off.

“Thank you. For teaching me, that is,” you say. He gives you a tender smile.

“Anytime.”

[rinrinp42]

@kitsunekage88 replied to this post with this:

Jango/Obi Where Obi saves Boba who drags him home to sell his dad all about it and Jango falls hard and fast ?

Obi-Wan did not usually feel thankful when his Padawan could not come on missions, but Anakin could be a bit…

Well, Obi-Wan did not think that the young Mando’ade[1] that had been in the middle of the warehouse the Spice dealers when he busted in would take well to Anakin’s particular type of self-righteousness.

“That was so cool! You just jumped down an’ then Pow! Zap! An’ you dodged like, like, an aiwha[2] in the sky!”

Obi-Wan smiled at the child. There was something about how he bounced back from being a hostage that was endearing.

“You gotta meet Buir[3]!”

“Of course,” Obi-Wan told the boy.  No doubt his parents would need reassurance that the drug dealers would not be seeking retribution – or that said parents did not need to hunt them down either, “And where is your Buir?”

“Our ship’s in the docks!” the boy grinned up at him, one tooth lost from his grin, “We just came here ‘cause Buir needed to meet some people.”

Obi-Wan nodded as he held out a hand.  The boy took it.

“Can you tell me what your ship looks like?  Or who your Buir was meeting?  I’m Obi-Wan by the way.”

“’m Boba!  Buir said they were aliit[4] from when he was younger!  He was gonna in-tro-duce,” he sounded out the word, “me after he first met them.”

And then these drug runners had taken the boy.  Vengeance wasn’t the Jedi way, but Force, Obi-Wan almost wished he had been harsher on them than he had.  An interrupted family reunion.  Maybe he’d let slip a few names when returning Boba…

Speaking of.

“Which dock Bob’ika[5]?”

Boba looked up at him, wide eyed.

“You know Mando’a[6]?”

“A friend taught me,” Obi-Wan told him, the old ache from thinking about Satine barely hurting, “but she has a very Sundari[7] accent, so you’ll have to forgive that.”

“’sokay!  The Cuy’val Dar[8] have a lotta different accents!”

Those who no longer exist?  Just who did this child belong to? Obi-Wan fought back the urge to frown.  His Master had endeavored to keep news of Mandalor away from him after their mission, so maybe it was a new faction?

“The dock Bob’ika?”

The boy nodded, “right, it was, uhhh, Jenth-Osk?”

Obi-Wan glanced around and, upon finding signs, started in that direction.

“…Obi?”

“Yes Bob’ika?”

“Your friend… she wasn’t Death Watch right?  ‘cause Buir says they’re all hut’uun[9].”

Obi-Wan had a moment of surprise at the idea of a child using such language, before shaking it off. He didn’t know the situation. Anakin learned most of his worst language from overhearing things as a child.  Just because Obi-Wan himself and Quin had begged Rael to teach them and the Knight had, does not mean that was how everyone learned.

“No, she hates Death Watch.” But Obi-Was was sure that she’d hate the Cuy’val Dar just as much given how Boba was enthralled by Obi-Wan’s battle prowess.  Not that he’d tell the boy that.

“Jate!  I knew you wouldn’t be friends with hut’uun!  You’re too good a warrior!”

Force but this child was bringing back all the ways that Obi-Wan had loved Mandalor.

And this port was far too crowded.

“Bob’ika, would it be alright if I carried you?  I would hate to find your Buir only to no longer have you.”

Boba paused and thought about it before nodding.

Obi-Wan carefully swung the boy up onto his shoulders.  Boba held on as he quizzed Obi-Wan about other battles the redhead had been in.

“Bob’ika!” a voice cut through the crowd.

A Mando in blue and grey beskar’gam pushed his way towards them.

“Buir!” Boba yelled back, wiggling.

Obi-Wan reached up and pulled Boba down, getting the boy’s feet back on the ground just as the Mando got to them.  The Jedi was impressed at how he was able to both hug Boba to him and subtly point a weapon at Obi-Wan.

“Buir, Obi-Wan saved me! The laandur[10] ge’huttuun[11] that took me didn’t expect him an’ then he jumped down an’ it was so cool!  I bet he could take Kal easily!  But not you Buir,” the boy was quick to assure his parent.

The Mando tipped his helmet towards Obi-Wan.

“Well, I might just owe you Jetii[12],” he spoke, standing up still holding onto Boba.

“I was already tracking them down, if anything, Boba yelling at them how they were laandur and cowards helped me.”

The Mando laughed at that.

“Still, I owe you if only because you took care of taking them out for me.  I don’t know how they even got ahold of him…”

Boba was definitely not looking at his parent now.  Obi-Wan’s lips quirked.  Well. Children would be children.

“If you would like,” he spoke carefully, not wanting to offend but wanting to keep hearing that Mando’ade accent – even if it was a Concord Dawn[13] variant and not the Sundari variant that Satine carried, “I may have a few suggestions on how to keep an eye on a curious child – my Padawan is 15 and I’ve been raising him since he was 9.”

Even without the Force, Obi-Wan thought he would have known that under that helmet the Mando gave a slow grin.  Small gods but Obi-Wan was starting to feel like he did when Quin dragged him out for a night out with Aayla keeping an eye on Anakin for him.

“Well then,” the Mando said, “why don’t you join me for lunch and you can share.”

He turned then, moving towards a Firespray-31.

“The name’s Jango by the way.”

Oh, this man was going to be the death of Obi-Wan, he was sure.

But he was pretty sure that the reverse was going to also be true.

And a little death was always fun.

[1] Mandalorian(s) – children of Mandalore

[2] Also called air whales, a non-sentient species of winged cetaceans native to the planet Kamino

[3] Mando for parent (Mando is a non-gendered language)

[4] Family, clan – can also mean clan name, identity

[5] Diminutive suffix – also added to a name as a very familiar or childhood form (Obi could be considered being too familiar using this but Boba’s also, like, 6 so.)

[6] The language of the Mandalorian people

[7] The capital of the planet Mandalor

[8] Lit. “Those Who No Longer Exist” – 100 individuals called by Jango that trained the Clones

[9] Coward (worst possible insult)

[10] Delicate, fragile (sometimes an insult – weak, pathetic)

[11] Bandit, villain, petty thief – can also mean a serious criminal you have no respect for - abusive

[12] Mando for Jedi

[13] An agricultural frontier world in the Mandalore sector of the Outer Rim Territories – Jango’s birth planet

[your-mom-is-a-hoe]

A Poisoned Love’s Kiss

So,, I guess I post fanfics here now? Sometimes-

Anyways, I wanted to do this because recently I’ve been absolutely fanpersoning over Roceit, so here you goo!

Based off of this lovely person’s comic:

https://waokevale.tumblr.com/post/618959675571978240/reverse-au-roceit

Title: A Poisoned Love’s Kiss

Genre: Umm- Angst. Whole lotta angst. With no happy ending. (Unless..?)

Fandom: Sanders Sides!

AU: Villain Swap!AU

Ship: 100% Roceit

Word Count: 2429

TW: Spiders

It was a normal day. Janus was cooking in the kitchen, stirring what seemed to be a soup of some kind. He was humming a small tune, completely unaware of the other sides’ presence as Roman spoke. “Oh, Januuus~”

Janus’ eyes went wide as he took a deep breath, turning around. Roman walked into the kitchen as Janus replied. “What do you want, Pride?”

Roman smirked, a glint of evil in his eyes as he mused. “You know exactly that that is not my name, dear Janus..” As he spoke, he walked closer and closer to the yellower side, now towering over him as Janus looked at him with fear. “And how can you not know what I came for?”

“R-Roman..” Janus spoke, reaching for the spoon placed carefully on the countertop behind him. “I wasn’t expecting you…” As he took hold of the spoon, he reached over to Roman, exclaiming “Here..!” and “S-stay back!” as Roman held his hands up to defend himself from Janus’ attacks.

Roman sighed, repeating himself as he took the spoon, now having both of the sides holding different ends. “Jannie, Jannie Jannie..” He pulled himself closer to Janus as Janus stared back with fear, a few wisps of their hairs meeting. “We both know.. That you would never hurt me.” Janus, now being forced to meet Roman’s eyes, stuttered on his own words. “I-I..”

Roman smiled, placing a hand to the side of Janus’ face as his thumb rubbed his cheek ever so softly. “My dear, sweet Jannie..” About a quarter of Janus’ iris went red, parting from it’s usual yellow. “Can’t you just give in and let me love you..?” Janus’ fearful face now looked tired, almost hazy as the rest of his iris went a bright, almost pale red. Roman smiled, now bringing his face closer to Janus’ as Janus didn’t seem to react. “That’s right, darling. Give in..”

As Roman was about to meet Janus’ lips, there was a shout coming from the kitchen entrance. “HEY!” Roman picked up his head, away from Janus as his face turned into pure shock.

Virgil spoke, shouting at Roman as Remus followed. “Stay away from him, Pride!” “Yeah, leave him alone, brother!” Roman let go of Janus’ face, now turned towards the other two as Janus seemed to be broken from his trance. “Ugh.. Caution.. Brother…”

Roman shrugged, now smiling once again. “Oh well..” Janus blinked, looking around confusedly before collapsing on the ground as Virgil and Remus spoke in unison. “Janus!” Roman continued, not even looking to see if Janus was alright. “I guess you caught me this time..” He hunched over, meeting Virgil’s eye level. “Just so you know.. I’ll be back~” Virgil now stared at Roman with fury on his face. “I hope the fuck not.”

After Roman sunk down, Virgil and Remus immediately ran over to Janus, crouching down next to him. Virgil was the first to speak. “Janus, are you okay?” Janus looked up at Virgil tiredly, still confused. “W... What happened?” Both were holding Janus up for support, making sure he could at least stand straight as Remus spoke. “Bro-bro did something to you..” Virgil, now hugging Janus, smiled. “We’re glad you’re okay, though.” Janus gave a small laugh, accepting the hugs. “Haha, thanks.”

However.

What if everything wasn’t as it seems? What if it was all an illusion? What if, indeed, this story might not get a happy ending?

C’mon, I’m not all fluff and fluffangst. I know how to write with an evil mind.

It was a normal day. Janus was cooking in the kitchen, stirring what seemed to be a soup of some kind. He was humming a small tune, completely unaware of the other sides’ presence as Roman spoke. “Oh, Januuus~”

Janus’ eyes went wide as he took a deep breath, turning around. Roman walked into the kitchen as Janus replied. “What do you want, Pride?”

Roman smirked, a glint of evil in his eyes as he mused. “You know exactly that that is not my name, dear Janus..” As he spoke, he walked closer and closer to the yellower side, now towering over him as Janus looked at him with fear. “And how can you not know what I came for?”

“R-Roman..” Janus spoke, reaching for the spoon placed carefully on the countertop behind him. “I wasn’t expecting you…” As he took hold of the spoon, he reached over to Roman, exclaiming “Here..!” and “S-stay back!” as Roman held his hands up to defend himself from Janus’ attacks.

Roman sighed, repeating himself as he took the spoon, now having both of the sides holding different ends. “Jannie, Jannie Jannie..” He pulled himself closer to Janus as Janus stared back with fear, a few wisps of their hairs meeting. “We both know.. That you would never hurt me.” Janus, now being forced to meet Roman’s eyes, stuttered on his own words. “I-I..”

Roman smiled sinisterly, placing a hand to the side of Janus’ face as his thumb rubbed his cheek ever so softly. “My dear, sweet Jannie..” About a quarter of Janus’ iris went red, parting from it’s usual yellow. “Can’t you just give in and let me love you..?” Janus’ fearful face now looked tired, almost hazy as the rest of his iris went a bright, almost pale red. Roman smiled, now bringing his face closer to Janus’ as Janus didn’t seem to react. “That’s right, darling. Give in..”

Roman smiled, leaning in towards Janus as he lifted the entranced sides’ chin up. Slowly, their lips met, and when Roman pulled away, Janus took in a sharp inhale. Virgil and Remus ran in as Virgil gasped for air. “We’re- We’re too late..”

Janus had a tint of yellow in his eyes, just a circle, as Roman lifted his chin up one more time. He leaned in again, this time whispering something in Janus’ ear as Janus collapsed, the color completely drained from him. His eyes, his pale skin, even tips of his hair which he had died a tiny bit of yellow had been neutralized as he hit the floor. Remus ran up to Janus as Virgil froze from fear. His thoughts echoed all around his head. Fight or flight, Virgil? C’mon, you gotta choose! Remus crouched next to Janus’ unconscious body, trying to find a pulse, trying to seek any signs that he’s alive. Remus looked up at Roman, tears in his eyes as he started to shout. “How COULD YOU?!” Roman smirked, leaning towards Remus. As he reached a hand out, Remus swatted him away. “NO- Don’t tOUCH ME, you VILLAIN!” Roman was about to retoil, but stopped in the middle of his sentence. “Oh, sweet little bro-” He took in a sharp, shuddered inhale as Remus realized what he had just done. Roman looked at Remus with such amounts of rage, not even I could explain it. His voice sounded tense, like you could cut through it with a knife. “What did you just call me?” Remus became furious. His eyes narrowed angrily as he replied. “You v i l l a i n.” And just as he appeared, Roman was gone. No signs of leaving, no trace of ever being there, except for- “JANUS-” Virgil finally mustered out. His breathing was rapid, more rapid than usual as he grasped clutches of his hair. Remus flinched, turning to Virgil’s panicking body. “Shit- shitshitshit- I-is hE WAKING UP?” Virgil ran over, sitting next to Janus’ unconscious corpse as Remus pleaded. “Please, please, please, just- wake up!” ...After what seemed like hours of failed attempts to bring Janus back to “life,” Virgil sighed. “...It’s no use. He’s gone, isn’t he?” Remus shook his head. “No. There has to be SOMETHING we can do to help him! What- What about true love’s kiss, huh? Those always seem to work in- in fairy tales and Disney movies!” Virgil placed a shaky hand on Remus’ shoulder. Although he himself was freaking out, he tried to keep his composure as his thoughts echoed around his head. Fight or flight, V i r g i l? Virgil took a shaky breath as he spoke. “Remus, we’re not-.. We’re not in a Disney movie, or a fairytale, or a fanfiction of any kind! Plus, even if it did work, who would even BE Janus’ ‘true love’?” Remus, in a sudden outburst of rage, shouted. “I DON’T KNOW! Maybe ROMAN could, like, REVeRSe it?!” Virgil looked into Remus’ eyes for a moment, frozen, as his thoughts continued. FIGHT OR FLIGHT, VIRGIL? His breathing quickened as he shifted between Remus’ two eyes. Remus blinked a few times before realizing that was a mistake. “Shit- Virgil, I’m sorry-” Without saying anything, Virgil took a shuddered breath as he picked Janus up. He started walking to Janus’ room as he mumbled a few words, just within earshot of Remus. “Yeah, maybe he can..”

It had been quite some time as Remus and Virgil searched for Roman around the mindscape. Patton was crying as ever, seemingly unable to talk through the sobs. Logan was of no help. Apparently to him, the whereabouts of all sides is “entirely confidential,” as he put it. Remus sighed as Virgil paced around Janus’ room, where Janus had been laid down in his bed gently. “What if he’s dead? Gone, forever? W-what if we never see him again, or Roman doesn’t wanna help-” He hadn’t noticed he had stopped moving a while ago, just walking in place as Remus held his shoulders. “Of course Roman’s not gonna want to help, so we’re gonna have to make him help, duh.” Virgil took a deep breath. “Right, yeah, shouldn’t be too hard! ..Right-?”

There were the traps. There were traps everywhere, set up specifically to catch Roman and make him bring Janus back (If he even could, for that matter). As Roman walked throughout the hallways, he noticed something. A patch of leaves, just sitting there, in front of him. He crouched next to the leaves, making sure no one was watching as he moved a few of them. 

Then, all of a sudden, he was hanging upside down, his legs wrapped in some strong rope. No, not rope- Silk.. Weird- But anyways, Remus walked out of Janus’ room, happy that his trap was a success as Virgil stayed by Janus’ side. Roman rolled his eyes as Remus began his speech. “Well, well, well, how the turns have tabled!” Roman cut him off, snapping at Remus as his patience ran thin. “Remus, what do you want?” Remus crossed his arms. “Wow, alright, cutting right to the chase, I see- Well, we want you to bring Janus back.”

Roman smirked, finally bursting into laughter as he hung from the ceiling. “YOu- You want ME to bring JANUS bacK? PFFFFt- Remus, I knew you were daft, but not THIS much!” Remus frowned, crossing his arms. “Says the side being hung from the ceiling.” Roman shrugged. “You’ve got me there. But what makes you think I’d want to help you anyways?” Remus’ lips formed into a smile as he looked up at Roman. “Well, you are being hung up there, aren’t you? Don’t you want to get out?” Roman rolled his eyes, trying to squirm out. If he could just summon his sword..- Roman screamed. Like, a banshee screech. He couldn’t help it, there were 4 pairs of eyeballs and 8 little furry legs staring back right into his eyes, just sitting on his face. “Oh, yeah, there’s also them.” Roman nearly fainted, taking a moment to process Remus’ words. “Wait- There are MORE?” A few more spiders crawled onto Roman. He could feel them, he knew they were there, but he didn’t dare move. He didn’t dare look away from the spider right in front of him, threatening to rip out his soul if it tried hard enough. Roman weighed his options as Remus tapped his foot impatiently. Try to help Janus and probably fail, or decline the offer and get a bath full of spiders? It seemed he had only one choice. “Fine. I’ll go with you.”

Remus smiled. Maybe there was hope for Janus after all! He called to Virgil and the spiders retreated as Roman fell to the ground, face-first. He sighed, trying to stand up, but alas failed, as he had no arms. Remus steadied Roman, forcing him to walk inside the room and up to Janus’ bed. When they got to the bed, Virgil finally took his precious silk back, stuffing it in one of his hoodie pockets as he eyed Roman suspiciously. Roman rolled his eyes, leaning down to Janus before mumbling something. “How are you even sure this won’t kill him any more?” Virgil snarled, “Just do it.” as he continued to stare Roman down. Roman sighed, planting a soft kiss on Janus’ lips as he stood back up, waiting to see what would happen. After the longest minute of everyone’s lives, a few of Remus’ tears fell to the ground. Virgil started panicking. “No- nononono, this can’t happen! This WASN’T supposed to happen. FIX HIM, Roman, BRING HIM BACK-” Virgil stood there, shouting at Roman, not even realizing that the prideful side was wiping away his own tears. “I’m sorry, Virgil, but it seems that he is a side that cannot be saved.” Remus looked at his own hands, then up at Roman, punching him in the face. By the time Roman had recollected his senses, Remus had already placed an arm around Virgil, trying to make sure he was okay as he carried him to Virgil’s room. Roman sighed, “I supposed that’s fair..” as he, too, made his way out of the room, shutting off the lights, not daring to see Janus’ sleeping face one more time. Not having enough courage to look back at what he had done, even though he wanted so badly to do it.

But, alas, this is one of my stories.. And, well, you know how those end. I did indeed only say “might,” after all...

As Janus’ eyes fluttered open, he caught a glimpse of the prideful side’s cape, picking his head up as he reached out to him. His head quickly fell back down onto the pillow (with the arm following), feeling heavier than he had ever felt before. He heard the faint sound of a clicking door, as his body was still hazy from being in that trance. The last thing he saw before blacking out again was himself, in his mirror, and the bright yellow eyes he had been with for so long.

[mrslittletall]

Now that I played through the Phoenix Wright Trilogy, it is time to rate it! Graphics The graphics are painted backgrounds as well as hand drawn character models with different expressions/tiny animations. They are pleasing to look at and never feel out of place. For a game that released first on the GBA, they are surprisingly clean. I have no qualms with the graphics whatsoever. I love that, to this day, the character animations from the courtroom are used in animations where stuff gets debated. Sound and Music The music is fantastic, though I have to say, the one of the first title is the best and feels like the most iconic, especially the Objection theme, which is even used as part of the main menu theme for the trilogy.  The first title has a lot of songs that are so nice to listen too, the court theme, the objection theme, the cornered theme is godlike and even the music outside of the court is fun, especially the theme song for the easy go lucky characters, like Lotta Hart.  The other titles declined a bit, I think the music is a bit too somber and sounds too serious and the objection theme, while still remixing the first one, just doesn’t have the same impact.  The second title has a fantastic new theme for the Search Core situation, used for a villainous reveal, but the third title kinda ruined it by using it EVERYWHERE. I kid you not, that theme played like... a 50 times or so, while it only was used for a certain character in the second one.  The sound effects are fine. The blips of the text aren’t annoying and the way the text is sometimes written faster or slower got a good impression how fast or slow a person was talking.  I liked that some of the sound effects from court were sometimes used in the dialogues to convey certain emotions also. Gameplay The game is a mix of a visual novel and an adventure game, so prepare to do LOTS of reading. You basically go to an area, then murder happens and then you have to find your defendant and proof their innocent. There are two kinds of gameplay, the first is the investigation, where you go around and look at stuff and talk with witnesses and the police and such. That is the most classical for an adventure game. The second one are the trials, where you have to proof your client’s innocence. It generally is by getting a witness on the stand and having to find the contradictions in their testimony. You can press them to get more information or present evidence once you spotted a contradiction. That is like a really nice puzzle and it could be pretty hard to find a contradiction, but it was all the more satisfying, when you found it and the testimony crumbled in itself and the prosecutor had their damaged portray after a good counter.  I have a bit of problems with it though, because sometimes you are obliged to show a certain piece of evidence. Most of the time, several are allowed, but I had one case, where a crime photo very much proofed what I wanted to say, namely that the victim used his left hand to hold his coffee cup, but for some reason, the lip stain on the coffee cup was the only valid evidence. Huh... In the second and third title, the investigation part actually got spiced up by making Phoenix able to see when people hide secrets from him and then we need to gather evidence and get them to spill their secrets. It is similar to the court room, but with only two parties. I really liked that parts. The gameplay was pretty fun, for me at least, but it has a few weaknesses of course, which are the usual adventure game weaknesses. Once you know the solution to the puzzle, the replayability is gone. Story and Characters That is where the game shines. Like I said, the game is basically a visual novel. It has its own individual stories for each case as well as some over arching storyline, mostly centered around a certain case, the DL-6 in the first title and then about the Fey Family in the second and third title.  The cases are sometimes a bit crazy, but that is too expected, the whole series is very whacky and filled with jokes and humours, sometimes good and sometimes bad jokes. The stories are interesting to follow and I often wanted to find out the truth myself, see if my suspicisions were correct and if we could get the real murdered on the stand to make a confession.  It is the most interesting when the overall storylines are getting involved, like in the first title, the DL6-Incident was both for the fourth and the fifth case and seeing how it all came together and got solved completely, was amazing.  The characters are a bunch of regulars and a bunch of case specific. Our main characters are clearly Phoenix Wright, the defense attorney, we play as and Maya Fey, a spirit medium. We also get a few regular prosecutors, with Miles Edgeworth for the first title, Franziska von Karma for the second and Godot for the third title. They could be considered the “villains”, but in a sense, they only try to serve justice, even though all of them have pretty nasty personalities at first.  We also have Detective Gumshoe, a very unlucky homicide detective, Larry Butz, Phoenix’ creepy friend and Lotta Hart, a woman who can’t decide on a career, but loves making photos, and Pearl Fey, the little cousin of Maya. We also have Mia Fey, Maya’s big sister and Phoenix’ mentor, but she tragically died... but that isn’t too much of a problem, because Maya is a spirit medium and can channel her, so that she often helps Phoenix out. All of them, besides Larry, who I have some troubles with, are absolutely adorable, they are quirky, they have moments, they have character growth, they have certain speech patterns and I love them. What I especially like, Maya is kind of Phoenix’ assistant and in pretty much every other story, I would have expected for them to go the shipping route, but Maya and Phoenix, despite being shipped heavily by Pearl, never show any romantic energy in my book. They are more platonic, more like little sister and big brother. It may come from the fact, that Maya is the little sister of Mia Fey, Phoenix’ mentor, and he views her more as a little sister, but their platonic relationship truly touched me.  When it comes to shipping, Phoenix and Miles have more erotic energy between them that Phoenix and Maya could ever have! Especially in the first title! It doesn’t surprise me that they are a popular ship.  Pet Peeves  Ok, some gripes I have with this game are the ages of the characters! Like, we had a case where a 14 year old girl planned a fake kidnapping, good, everyone was super stoked about that, but then it turned out, her 18 year old sister was a police woman at that time. And at age 23, she was considered a police veteran. What?! We also had a doctor who was said to be 31 years old... he looked like he was 55!  Franziska is another offender... one of these japanese tropes of the “child genius”. She became a prosecutor at age 13 and only was 18 when Phoenix first met her. She is from germany and I am pretty sure it is downright illegal to be a legal prosecutor there when you are not of age, so... Then... we have the fact that this game so OBVIOUSLY is set in Japan, but the localization acts like it is set in America... Yes, America has a super traditional japanese village, Maya Fey is wearing traditional japanese clothing, we have a case centered around the Steel Samurai, typical japanese kids TV where an actor is wearing a full body suit and masks himself. I am actually surprised that when they were in super obvious japanese settings, that they actually talked about everything like it was japanese, and not made onigiri into donuts. But ok, I can forgive this, because it is so dumb and the original setting is more than obvious.  Larry! The guy turned out to be creepy! He first got introduced as Phoenix’ idiot friend with a weakness for hot woman, but getting used by them a whole lot, ok, that is still fine. But with each entry, guy turned more and more creepy, until he tried to hit on a married woman and said that he wanted to date Pearl. Pearl is a nine year old child, wtf, Larry?! He had some moments, but even the game acknowledged what a waste of space he is and made him the butt monkey. Which I can fully and totally understand.  Ok, that has been it! Overall, I enjoyed these games a lot! I would like to try and find the others in the series, but I don’t think I will be able to find them...