#there's a bit later in the same episode where they return to the same argument with more seriousness but i decided not to overload the post

[sleepymarmot]

Even after everything we’ve seen since episode 8, this is still my favorite take on Luthen as a Jedi. (The beginning of the clip is just there for the context, skip to 1:04 or 1:23 to get to the point.)

[laughhardrunfastbekindsblog]

Eventually I might write an entire thesis on all the ways Tech shows that he loves and cares deeply about his family; but for now, here's a slightly shorter essay focusing on how Tech dealt with Echo's departure in "The Crossing." 

One of the main themes of this episode is how different people deal with loss/goodbyes, and this is illustrated particularly well by the contrast between Omega and Tech (Hunter and Wrecker are basically the middle ground). Omega, of course, is vocal about how much she misses Echo and initially misinterprets Tech's attitude as him "not caring" that "everything's changing," but it's precisely Tech's attitude and actions that show how much he DOES care.

Tech is fully aware of Echo's absence

Tech relays right away that Echo's comms are off - meaning he had to have been in contact with Echo (or at least tried to contact him) since their parting. He is also the first to propose that the assignments for the mission might need to be adjusted due to Echo's absence leaving them "one man down."

Tech compartmentalizes Echo's departure within the same framework as Crosshair's departure.

I'm inclined to believe he does this because this is how he's able to accept this specific type of change. Of course there are differences between the two - one of which being that Crosshair left on barely civil terms after making it clear he had a hard time accepting that the squad could have different life goals/opinions without being enemies, while Echo left on good terms and made it clear he'd return - but ultimately both brothers left because the pull to pursue a different objective was greater than the call to stay with the family. And while Tech later admits this "can be difficult to understand" - which is likely why he acts as he does at other points in the episode - he understands and respects their decisions at least well enough to know he needs to carry on.

Tech is extra tetchy with the others for most of the episode - and this is NOT typical for him.

Tech has always been dry and blunt, sometimes seemingly emotionless ("seemingly" being the operative word), and he's not shy in expressing his opinions; but rarely has he ever crossed the line into being rude and blatantly argumentative with his squadmates as he is here. For example: in "Aftermath," Wrecker and Tech have a brief exchange during the battle simulation where Tech points out that maybe Wrecker should learn the hand signals and Wrecker gets a touch defensive; but rather than the issue blowing up into a major disagreement, Tech translates the hand signals for Wrecker and they move on. In "The Crossing," however, Tech gets irritated that Wrecker didn't notice the Marauder being stolen, and he just won't let it go. He then gets a bit sharp with Omega when she presses the subject of Echo's departure, telling her "What is your issue?" (He might have inadvertently said borderline insensitive things before, like "Perhaps the situation is not as dire as described. Children often overreact"; but as far as we've seen he has never singled out Omega as the subject of these observations and has never been curt with her.)

Omega, of course, gets frustrated with Tech, primarily because she doesn't see Tech's behavior for what it is: an indication that Tech feels the loss just as much as she does, even if he doesn't express it the same way.

Tech accepts Hunter's and Wrecker's criticism that he has handled things poorly with Omega, and when she finally tells him exactly what is bothering her about his behavior, he takes the time to put his feelings into words

Tech has been more irritable than usual, but he still cares about his family enough to notice when he's gone too far, accept correction, and do his best to smooth things over. He doesn't quite seem to know at first how to approach the topic with Omega so things can be smoothed over; but when she opens up to him, he is silent for a long time as he ponders how best to explain himself to her, rather than brushing aside and avoiding what is obviously a difficult conversation for him but an important one for her.

And thus we get one of my top favorite scenes along with one of my top favorite quotes in the entire Star Wars franchise:

"Echo chose a different path, as did Crosshair. I have to respect their decision. Even though it can be difficult to understand, we must carry on. I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you."

[atinylittlepain]

A High Price - A Joel Miller Story

Joel Miller x f!reader/f!oc

Joel Miller masterlist

She's been with Joel and Ellie since the beginning. When she finds out Joel's plans for Tommy to go with her and Ellie the rest of the way, she decides it's time to end whatever closeness they had shared. But a change of plans and a brush with death forces both of them to come to terms with just how much they’re willing to pay to hold onto each other.

warnings | 18+ angst, smut, canon-typical violence

a/n | this fic follows the events of episode 6 verrryyy closely, but I fixed it :) but also, it's a doozy folks, you've been warned

The town of Jackson is making her nervous. Mostly because she can see how uneasy Joel has been since they got here, how he wearily eyes the children that seem to be everywhere, his dismay at the sight of Christmas decorations . She can’t help but feel much the same, it’s like they’ve found the one place in the world where time paused before everything went to shit, and after months on the grizzled road, it’s far more than just a shock to the system. Ellie seems equally perturbed, and her hackles have been up from the start. 

She softened a bit after a shower and a clean change of clothes, had laughed at the gift Maria had left for Ellie. She had to explain to the girl how the menstrual cup worked, the humor of it quickly rolling over into sorrow when she realized that she herself hadn’t needed to worry about that for twenty years, her body too flooded by a constant stream of cortisol. It made sense really, her body knew there was no use trying to create life when the whole world had rolled over in death. A streak of pain shot through her when she saw that Maria was in fact pregnant, followed quickly by a stark anger that she smothered out before it got the better of her.

Joel had skulked off to try to resole his boots, leaving her and Ellie under Maria’s charge. She had offered them both haircuts at her house and while it was nice, to be taken care of, her heart was stinging with the sight of Sarah’s name on that chalkboard. She didn’t know much, but she knew enough for it to be like a slap to the face when she saw it.

Maria had taken Ellie along to a town movie while she had returned to the house they were staying in to get some sleep, and try to shake off that uneasy feeling that had settled in her spine. She finds Joel’s pack in what she supposes is the master bedroom, slipping into the large bed and waiting for the warmth of his body to tangle with hers. They had picked up some habits along the road, falling into something with each other that she knew would never be called anything other than comfort. It was fine, she figured she’d take him anyway that he’d let her have him.

She must have dozed off, because much later she’s startled awake by the sound of shouting coming from down the hall. It sounds like Joel and Ellie, but she still grabs her gun before creeping down the hall towards where all the noise is coming from, light seeping through the crack of the ajar door. She shoulders up against the doorframe, tucking her gun into the waist of her jeans and listening in to the pair’s argument. Her head spins at the information that Joel has asked Tommy to take Ellie the rest of the way, the harsh words he spits at the young girl. Ellie shouts back at him.

“Well, what about her, Joel? What’s she gonna do?” Ellie says her name like a broken question and Joel huffs.

“I don’t know. She’s better off without me too. Can do whatever the fuck she wants for all I care.” His words take her breath away, and she doesn’t have time to catch herself before Joel is turning heel and storming out of the room with a slam of the door. He runs straight into her in the hall, grabbing her elbows to steady them. She wrenches out of his grip, stumbling back. His face goes slack at her pained expression.

“How much of that did you hear?” She scoffs, muttering “heard enough” before shuffling back down the hall to grab her pack from the bedroom. She’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight.

Joel is hot on her heels, following her into the bedroom, a hand tugging at his hair in seeming frustration. She wordlessly grabs her pack, shoving her things back into it as he watches her. 

“Will you talk to me?” She lets out a bitter laugh at his words, finally turning and looking at him.

“What the fuck, Joel? What the fuck was that? You making decisions for us now, huh? Think you know better than me? Well newsflash, that was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard!” She’s gotten up in his space and shoves hard at his chest, making him stumble back.

“Look, you may be mad right now. But eventually you’ll see that I’m right about this. I-I can’t protect her. Can’t protect you, it’s–” “That’s such bullshit. I don’t need protection, Joel. And maybe you can’t protect her, but we can. Did a damn good job of it these past few months. God, but now you’re gonna be a fucking coward?” She thinks briefly that she sees the glimmer of tears in his eyes, but she’s too mad to care. She shoulders her pack, going to step out of the room, but he blocks her path. He swallows hard under her steely glare.

“I’m sorry, but I–” she shoves at his chest again.

“I don’t want your fucking sorrys! Finish the job, you coward, or get the fuck out of my way.” She finally shoulders past him, and he doesn’t follow her this time. He seems to have made his choice, and she’ll have to live with that.

…

She spends the night, restlessly, on the couch downstairs, waiting for Tommy to come pick up her and Ellie. She’ll go with them to the university, it hadn’t even been a question to her. And after that, well she certainly won’t be coming back here, back to Joel. 

She manages to sleep a few hours, woken up by the sound of Tommy coming inside. He waits at the front door while she goes up to get Ellie. She’s surprised when she passes the master bedroom to see the door ajar, Joel and his pack nowhere to be seen. That bastard must have skipped town. Good fucking riddance.

They head out to the stables and she’s once again surprised when they find Joel there, saddling up. He’s changed his tune, and when Ellie says she wants to go with him, already foisting her pack into his arms, he tries to catch her gaze over the top of the girl’s head, but she refuses to look at him. She promised Tess she’d finish this job, and she’s going to, regardless of whom it’s finished with. But whatever closeness she had with Joel has withered in the course of the night. She decides that this will be the last time she works with him.

The trio sets out, Joel and Ellie on one horse and her following close behind on another. A week’s journey, and then she’ll never have to think about Joel Miller again.

Days pass in a frozen blur. It’s not lost on her how their roles have been switched. In the past, it was always her job to keep Ellie’s constant conversation entertained while Joel silently scowled. Now, Joel keeps up the talk, occasionally trying to draw her into the chatter, but she remains steeled against his attempts to get her to thaw, only answering the questions Ellie asks her. She knows it’s dangerous, how much she’s come to care for the girl. It was Joel who had told her as much, that the price for caring about someone was one you just couldn’t afford in this world. She figures it’s too late to pull back from her, having already sacrificed so much to get her across the country, because she knows she’d do a whole lot more for her too.

When they reach the university campus, it’s a relief and a shock. The last time she had been somewhere like this was when everything went to shit. Like every other survivor, she remembers the day all too well. She woke up that morning in her boyfriend’s dorm room, and by the end of the day she was getting hauled to a quarantine zone in the back of a military truck. 

She’s quiet as they ride through the campus, but can feel Joel’s eyes on her as he answers Ellie’s endless questions about what college was like. His voice is a bit gruff when he next speaks.

“You should be asking these questions to her, kid. She was actually smart enough to be somewhere like this.” She can’t help how her eyes widen at his words and when she glances at him, she thinks she sees the hint of a smirk there. Ellie immediately shifts her attention to her, asking her all sorts of questions about what she did at a place like this. For once, she’s happy to talk about the past. She feels the anger she’s been keeping bubbling start to roll over, finding ease in rejoining the conversation, but she still keeps her attention on Ellie, only barely glancing Joel’s way.

The campus is desolate and when they find what must have been the science building with a golden firefly emblem on above the entrance, disappointment lays thickly over them when they see it’s been deserted. On the third floor, however, they manage to find a map, with all arrows leading to Salt Lake City. They must have moved shop. Joel looks at her, both their faces set in a stern resolve. This trip is going to be a bit longer than they planned. Just then, they hear voices coming from below. She sidles up to the window and sure enough, a group of raiders are traipsing across the campus. Joel looks at her and she just nods, a silent confirmation that they need to move quickly and quietly. 

They get outside, and she tries to clear her mind of the way he keeps a hand on the hilt of her spine as she peers behind the wall. It’s clear, and they scurry over to the horses, trying to hastily saddle up. Ellie freezes where she stands, looking behind them. She whips around and sure enough, two of the men they had seen are rushing at them. She doesn’t even have to think, pulling out her knife and running at them. She handily slits the one man’s throat, but the other grabs her shoulder and lands a punch that sends her jaw singing in pain.  She doubles over, trying to shake off the ringing in her ears. Joel’s right behind her and grabs hold of the man, struggling a bit before snapping his neck. The sound makes her stomach churn.

When she finally collects herself and gets a look at Joel, she blanches. He’s been stabbed low in the side, the handle of the weapon protruding still. Joel looks down, seeming to realize at the same time that he’s been hurt. She doesn’t think quick enough to stop him from pulling it out, and when he does blood quickly begins to puddle in his cupped hand. Her mind is going a mile a minute, but Ellie shakes her out of it with a low curse. There are two more men coming towards them. She has to get them out of here and fast.

“Ellie, get on that horse, now!” She grabs Joel by the shoulders, shoving him towards the other horse and helping him up. He lets out a broken shout as he swings his leg over the saddle and it sends a streak of panic down her spine. She hauls herself up behind him, taking the reins and kicking off. Ellie follows alongside them, firing warning bullets at the straggling men. 

They manage to lose them, following train tracks out of the town and in the general direction of Salt Lake City. She keeps pinching Joel’s thigh, trying to keep him awake, keep him talking. But he’s fading fast, and she doesn’t know what to do. Suddenly, his head slumps forward and she curses.

“Joel? Hey, Joel, c’mon, stay with us here– shit!” His body goes slack and he slips right off the horse into the drifting snow. She immediately dismounts, Ellie following suit, and kneels down beside him. His eyes are flickering, rolling back up to the sky. She presses the heel of her hand down into his wound, trying to stop the bleeding that has persisted since they fled. He whimpers under the contact and it makes something in her shatter. Ellie is calling his name, lightly patting his face. But it’s not enough, and he slips unconscious, his face ashen in the gray winter light.

“Fuck!” For a moment, she just panics. No clue what to do. Her hands are shaking as she quickly shucks off her coat, Ellie watching her like she’s crazy. She takes off the flannel she had been wearing and rips it up into strips, tying them together and then wrapping the makeshift tourniquet around Joel’s wound. She doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but right now, it’s the only thing she can think to do. She takes a deep breath, a wisp of a plan slowly coming into mind.

“Alright, Ellie, we gotta get him back on one of the horses. We gotta find shelter.” Ellie looks bewildered by her command.

“He’s not gonna make it if we–”

“Don’t, kid. It’s the only shot we have. Help me move him.” It’s a struggle, getting his slack body back up onto the saddle, but they manage and she slips up behind him again. She wraps her legs around his to keep him in place. The only comfort as they ride is the short puffs of breath she feels him letting out into her collar where his head has slumped down. As long as he’s breathing, I can be ok.

She was never religious, not before, and certainly not now. But, as they continue riding, she starts to pray to someone, anyone. She knows that Joel would’ve told her to leave him. Would’ve wanted her to leave him. But now, it’s become quite clear to her that leaving him is something she’s incapable of doing.

His breathing is getting slower, even more shallow. She counts the space between each exhale and feels panic rising as that space gets longer and longer. They need a fucking miracle.

They get a fucking miracle. 

A farmhouse appears in the distance, in a thicket of frozen trees. She can see smoke coming from the chimney. She’s too panicked to make any real plan, telling Ellie to hold back while she rides up. She doesn’t care if the people are hostile, she’ll kill them with her bare hands if it means Joel will have a shot at surviving.

She stops right in front of the house, and it’s a rather awkward maneuver to slide Joel off the saddle and lay him out in the snow while she sidles up to the front door. She cocks her gun and shoulders through the door, and finds herself both relieved and embarrassed when all she meets is a rather shocked looking older woman standing by a wood-burning stove.

A fucking miracle indeed.

…

The woman’s name is Maggie. She tells her to bring Ellie and Joel in. They lay him out on the musty couch in front of the stove and Maggie immediately takes to treating his wound. She moves with an unexpected precision, getting Joel out of his jacket and layers, cleaning the gash with rags that they boiled on the stove and then taking to the wound with bandages she pulled out of a rusted first aid box. Joel remains unconscious, but color starts to come back into his face as he lays in the warmth of the stove. Maggie offers soup to her and Ellie, but her stomach is still rolling as she watches Joel’s unconscious form so she gives her bowl to the girl as well. 

She sits on the arm of the couch, keeping a hand around Joel’s ankle as Maggie talks to them. She tells them that her husband’s name is Rod, that he’s out hunting and he’ll be home soon, but that she’ll deal with him. She can’t help but think that they’re much like that couple they had met only a week or so earlier, another pair that lived quietly enough for the end of the world not to notice them. The older woman seems to sense the tension in the air, seeing both her and Ellie still anxiously watching Joel. She asks Ellie if she’d like to help her dress a few rabbits out back and the girl’s eyes dart between the older woman and her. She offers her a small smile and a nod to go ahead, that it’s ok, and Maggie leads her out to show her how it's done.

As the door shuts behind them, she lets out a long sigh, sinking down onto the floor and resting her head back against the couch. She shuts her eyes, a wave of exhaustion finally washing over her now that the adrenaline has worn off. Her brain kicks up a chant of he’s ok, he’ll live that lulls her into a sleepy daze, only being startled out of it when she feels him start to stir behind her. She whips around, kneeling in front of the couch, her fingers itching to reach for him, but instead just watching as he slowly comes to. He looks shocked to still be alive, eyes darting around the room before landing on her. He goes to sit up but immediately winces in pain and she presses her palm into his chest to keep him laying down.

“Joel, just stay down. You’re ok. I’ll get you some water.” She grabs her own water bottle that Maggie had filled for her and brings it to his lips, coaxing a few sips out of him. He’s looking at her like she’s grown a second head, entirely perplexed. His voice is hoarse when he finally speaks.

“You should’ve left me.” She scoffs, shaking her head and forcing him to take another swig to shut him up.

“A thank you would be nice.” He only gives her a steely scowl at her words that she just rolls her eyes at.

“Joel, can you try to not be an asshole after we just saved your life?” She gets up to get him a bowl of soup but can still hear his grumbling words.

“Surprised you’d want to save my life. Thought you’d washed your hands of me.” She sighs, choosing not to respond to his murmurs as she kneels back down beside the couch with soup and a spoon. He raises an eyebrow at her. She gives him an unamused look, holding a spoonful of soup out to him that he begrudgingly takes. Surprisingly, he lets her feed him more of the soup, not moving his utterly confused gaze from her face. She thinks to herself that he must still be pretty out of it to be letting her do this.

He finally bats her hands away with a grumble, once again trying to sit up. Though he successfully gets upright, swinging his legs down so his feet are planted on the floor, it’s not without groans of pain with each movement, his bare chest heaving once he finally sits back. She instinctively goes to smooth her hand over the gauze they laid over his wound and he shivers under her touch, her eyes immediately darting up to his.

“Does that hurt?” He huffs, grabbing her hand in his own and giving it a squeeze before resting their entwined fingers on his thigh.

“Sure don’t feel good. Where’s Ellie?” Just then, the back door swings open, Ellie walking in ahead of Maggie, brandishing two dressed rabbit carcasses in her hands. When she sees Joel upright and lucid, first relief washes over her face, and then a very smug grin. She holds up the rabbits like shining trophies.

“Welcome back, old man. Told ya I could do it.”

…

Rod comes home soon afterwards, and while it’s tense at first, it’s clear quickly that he answers to Maggie, and what she says goes. They sit in the main room of the cabin, the three of them pressed together on the couch while the couple sit in two thread-bare armchairs, asking them all kinds of questions. Rod keeps looking between her and Joel and then glancing at Ellie, seeming to try to figure something out. He finally clears his throat.

“You don’t often see families out on the road, where are y’all heading?” Her and Joel practically trip over each other to correct him, speaking on top of each other.

“We’re not–”

“That’s not what this is–”

Ellie just laughs, telling the old man that they’re not her parents, just two people getting paid to transport her to her real family. She’ll have to thank the kid later for the smooth save. The couple seem to accept her explanation, but Rod continues to look between her and Joel over the top of Ellie’s head. It’s only just starting to make her uneasy when Maggie invites her and Ellie to help get dinner going. They leave Joel and Rod lowly murmuring about directions to Salt Lake City. 

As she chops potatoes, listening to Maggie explain to Ellie how to carve up the rabbits, she gets that same sickening feeling she got in Jackson. For a moment, there’s a sliver of normalcy that makes her shudder. They roast the vegetables and meat over a fire that Maggie sets on a small stovetop. She leans back against the doorframe, watching the older woman show Ellie how to cook the food. Her ears prick into the conversation in the other room, Rod saying something in a rather severe tone.

“Son, you do realize that young woman saved your life, right?” There’s a long hiccup of silence before Joel speaks.

“It wouldn’t be the first time. Believe me, I know. Saved me in more ways than one.” She’s not given too much time to ponder his words before Maggie and Ellie are whipping by with a huge skillet of food. They all eat in the living room, serving themselves straight out of the pan. She’s surprised by how hungry she is, though she figures it’s been nearly a whole day since she last ate. 

Finished with dinner, she asks Maggie for the first aid kit, taking Joel out to catch the last light of day in order to redress his wound. The old couple had offered to teach Ellie how to play gin while she takes care of him. He sits down on the bench out on the porch, already moving much better with some more food in his system. 

Relief floods through her when she removes the gauze and sees that the gash is already starting to clot, hardly any more blood coming through and the angry redness calming under the salve Maggie had rubbed in. She kneels down in between his thighs, trying to as gently as possible clean the wound as he stifles whimpers under her touch. She lays another square of gauze over the wound, letting her palm wander up his side before squeezing his shoulder and sitting back on her haunches. He clears his throat before speaking.

“Thank you, alright? Thank you.” She just nods, but Joel isn’t done talking.

“I figure we sleep here tonight. Rod showed me how to keep following those tracks to get to Salt Lake, we’re looking at three, maybe four days of travel.” Her head is spinning, not really believing his words.

“Are you serious right now? Joel, I don’t know if you noticed, but you almost fucking died. You’re not gonna be ready to travel tomorrow, and hell, probably not the next day either. Maggie told me they’d let us stay on a bit longer, if Ellie and I help her out with stuff around here. But you’re not fucking traveling anytime soon, not on my watch.” His fists are clenched in his lap as he listens to her speak, finally shaking his head in frustration.

“Look, I just need some sleep. I’ll be good to travel in the morning, you don’t know–” She’s on him in a flash, standing up to tower over him, right in his face.

“Don’t you dare tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sick of you trying to call all the shots, Joel. This time? You’re gonna listen to me.” He tilts his chin up at her defiantly.

“And why should I?” She practically seethes with anger.

“Because I saved your life, that’s why. Don’t make me fucking regret it.” She whisks away from him, storming back inside and slamming the door behind her. She finds Ellie and the couple playing cards and mutters at the girl to go help Joel inside. She’s done playing nurse for the night.

Unfortunately, Maggie and Rod had different plans. When it came time to turn in, they offered the couch to Ellie, while giving her and Joel the loft upstairs. The loft with only one bed. She did her best not to balk at it, not wanting to seem ungrateful to the couple as they closed their own bedroom door after saying good night. 

She mutely helped Joel up the stairs, guiding him to sit down on the edge of the bed while she got to work unrolling her sleeping bag onto the floor. She heard him scoff behind her as he watched her movements.

“What the hell are you doing?” She glances at him over her shoulder.

“I’ll take the floor and you’ll take the bed. You need it more than I do.” He lets out a breathy laugh at that.

“Oh, come on. It’s not like we haven’t slept together before.” She finally turns to fix him with an icy stare. He just crosses his arms over his chest.

“Joel, don’t. I can’t argue with you anymore.” She sighs, fully sitting down on the ground, staring at her hands in her lap. She’s got no fight left.

“I don’t want to argue, but I don’t want you sleeping on the floor. Please.” Her head whips up at that, a word that doesn’t usually come out of Joel’s mouth. There’s something in his eyes that she can’t quite place. Something that makes her give in to him. She stands with another sigh, starting to toe off her boots.

“Alright, fine. We’ll both sleep in the bed.” She’d like to smack the smug look that slides across his face, but it’s quickly replaced by winces of pain as he moves to take off his shoes and pants. She helps him shuck off his jeans all the way, ignoring his grumbles that he can do it himself, and helps him under the covers. She quickly peels off her own jeans before getting into bed, hugging the edge of the mattress and turning her back to him. He huffs behind her.

“Not how we normally sleep, is it?” She scoffs at his words.

“You’re injured. And I’m still pissed at you.” 

“Look, I-I’m sorry.” “What for?”

“Jesus christ, can’t you take a damn apology?” She chooses not to respond to that and Joel sighs.

“I’m sorry for what I did in Jackson. For not talking to you. Trying to cut ties. I just, I really thought it’d be better for everyone.” She swallows thickly.

“Well, I don’t get that. I thought we had a good thing going, thought we were a team.”

“We did have a good thing. It’s why I was trying to set you two loose from me. I’m getting older, weaker. A-and the price was getting too high.” She finally turns over, looking at him with her brow furrowed. He glances at her before letting out another sigh.

“I care about you, more than I should. I care about the kid too, but you– if I ever failed you? Out there? That’d be the end for me. I know I couldn’t go on then. So I figured it’d be better to let you go, without me, no chance of letting you down then.” They fall into a heavy silence as she studies his profile. Those were not words she was expecting to hear out of him.

“Joel, I– the price is high for me too. Think I realized it when you collapsed off that fucking horse. But sometimes I feel like you don’t take me seriously, and it drives me insane. I may be younger than you, but I’ve been out here just as long as you.” He draws one of his hands down to tangle with hers.

“I know you have, darlin. And I’m sorry. I’m an ass, but I’ll listen to you, I’ll really try.” She squeezes his hand.

“We’re a fucking team, Joel. I need you on my side.” His eyes soften in the dimming light.

“Fuck, need you too.” For now, it’s enough for them both. They manage to sleep that night, neither one letting go of the other’s hand.

…

They’ve spent three nights at the farmhouse, and Joel continues to heal. Ellie and Maggie are sitting on the porch, playing gin. Ellie has gotten wickedly good at the game, even giving Rod a run for his money. She’s out front, helping the old man and Joel chop firewood. She’s just glad that Joel feels well enough to be swinging an ax, but would be hard pressed to admit that her gaze lingers on the sliver of skin above his waistband that slips into sight each time he throws his arms back in a swing. 

It’s been decided that they’ll leave tomorrow and start the journey towards Salt Lake City and whatever it may entail. As such, Maggie had declared that they’d need to have a proper meal tonight, like she hadn’t been feeding them like kings all week. Rod had brought a deer back from his hunting yesterday, and Ellie had, very proudly, helped him dress the carcass. They’d certainly eat well tonight.

She and Joel had settled into a sort of closeness again, something more tentative, something heavier with meaning. They hadn’t really discussed what had been said that first night any further, but each night since they’d fallen asleep pressed close to one another. She had however noticed the way his breath would hitch as she checked his bandages, and had maybe started to trail her fingers a bit aimlessly just to see how worked up she could get him before cruelly stepping away. He was due for some payback anyways.

Dinner, as expected, is rich and near coma-inducing, and Ellie promptly flops onto the couch face first. She and Joel help the old couple clean up before saying their goodnights. Joel no longer needs help up the stairs when they head up for bed, he hasn’t for two days now.

They dress down in silence before slipping under the covers, settling into the middle of the bed. She rests a leg over his hip, turning into his chest as he wraps her into his non-injured side. He looks down at her.

“You ready to head out tomorrow?” She snorts, burrowing her cheek closer into his chest.

“Pretty sure I should be asking you that.”  His arm draws her in a little tighter.

“I am. Almost back to a hundred percent, thanks to you.” They settle into a simple silence. She breaks it with a hoarse whisper.

“Joel? You gotta know how glad I am that you’re not dead.” He just hums at that, but she tilts her head to rest her chin on his sternum, looking up at him.

“I mean it. Christ– when you were splayed out in the snow– I panicked– didn’t know what to do– just knew that you couldn’t die or I’d lose whatever is left of my mind.” He brings his fingertips to skate across the arc of her cheek, carding his fingers through her hair before pressing his thumb under the hilt of her jaw to draw her face up to his. It’s a shivering little thing of a kiss, their lips just ghosting together before breaking away. It’s a low thrumming whisper that breezes across her lips when he speaks.

“You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere, darlin, not without you.” She presses forward this time into an entirely different kind of kiss. It’s a kiss that takes and demands that something be given. He brings both his broad palms to cup her face and she huffs as she tries to press closer to him without hurting him. He seems to notice her frustration, pressing her to lay down as he shifts to lean on his good side and dip back into a kiss. She pulls away with a sigh.

“Don’t wanna hurt you, not when you’re healing so well.” He huffs, tracing her lips with his thumb.

“You’re not gonna hurt me. Just let me have you.” She can’t even protest, not when he’s already licking into her mouth and fumbling with the buttons of the flannel she still has on. She swats his hand away to get the shirt off herself and he moves his now idle hand down to her hip, giving the plush swell harsh squeezes and drawing her closer to him. Her shirt draws open and he nudges away the fabric with his nose, lips smearing across her chest and laving over her peaked nipples in a way that makes her keen up into his touch. She runs her hands easily through the buttons of his own shirt, laying open-mouthed kisses in the middle of his chest. They’re a mess of mouths and hands and sighing breaths, finding whatever bare skin they can to mark as their own. She lets out a whine that he quickly shushes as he bites harshly at the soft skin at the juncture of her jaw.

“Joel, please, I want you now.” They press their foreheads together for a moment, swallowing each other’s ragged breaths before Joel nods. He shifts until he’s hovering over her, kneeling between her spread legs and caging her in between his arms. 

She presses the sleeves of his open shirt down his arms and he breaks away just enough to shrug it off entirely. She takes him in, fingers grazing down his chest and skating over the bandage across his side before he grabs her wrist, bringing her hand to his lips and laying a kiss in the middle of her palm. He brings his own palm down between her breasts, rough fingers splayed out below her sternum before dragging his hand down her torso in a way that makes her shudder. His fingers deftly slip under the band of her underwear and he doesn’t even have to ask her to lift her hips for him to slide them down her legs, tossing them off to the side before dipping back down to meet in another kiss. 

Still in his boxers, he presses his hips forward into hers and they both groan at the contact as his hardness ruts against her center. She tugs at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Don’t fucking tease me right now, Joel. Need you.” He shushes her with a smacking kiss.

“I know what you need, I’ve got you. I’m yours, I’m all yours.” She draws her hands down to the waist of his boxers, shrugging them down his thighs just enough for his cock to come free and rest against her hip, smearing pre-cum across her skin. They move fluidly. She draws her knee up to his waist, opening herself up for him as he fists himself and draws the head of his cock through her folds before pressing into her. They both let out broken sighs when his hips press against hers. The roll of his hips is slow but harsh as he finds a pace in his thrusts. He dips his head into her collarbone, muffling his groans into her damp skin as she rakes her nails down his back. She’s entirely wrapped up in him, whispering little gasps of his name each time he presses impossibly deeper into her. Suddenly, he takes in a sharp inhale that sounds less like pleasure and more like pain, she draws his face out of her neck and can see the wince in his eyes. Panic seeps into her spine.

“Hey, hey. Is it hurting?” He sighs, trying to ignore her searching gaze but she presses a palm into his chest to stop him.

“Baby. Lay back, ok? Wanna make it feel good for you.” He sighs, but does what she says, untangling from her and laying down. She carefully straddles him, the wet heat of her cunt dripping over the throbbing underside of his cock. She leans in to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

“S’ok, Joel. I’m gonna make you feel good.” He brings his hands to the swell of her hips, fingers flexing into her dimpled skin as she lines his cock up with her entrance, stifling a moan as she takes him all to the hilt. Joel’s eyes are darting everywhere as she sets a gentle rhythm, the crease of pleasure between her brows, the golden dampness in the hollow of her collarbone, the obscene bounce of her breasts with each swivel of her hips. All he can do is sigh.

“You’re perfect, darlin. So perfect for me. You’re mine, right? Fuck– tell me you’re mine.” He presses his palm between her shoulder blades to press her forward and she hovers over him, brushing her lips over his in something far too messy to be called a kiss.

“I’m yours, Joel. All yours.” He bends his knees and plants his feet into the mattress, starting to meet her weakening thrusts with his own. She can feel herself at the edge of pleasure, ready to tip over into oblivion. She buries her face into his neck as he fucks up into her, letting out broken whimpers with each thrust.

“Need you to come for me, darlin. Know you can do it. Let go for me.” His words send her hurtling right over the edge, pulsing around his cock as she comes with a silent cry. He fucks her through it, his thrusts starting to falter as he feels his release creeping up on him. She reluctantly pulls off of him, nuzzling into his side and bringing her hand to wrap around his throbbing length. She brings her lips to his ear.

“Come for me, Joel. Show me you’re mine.” With one more pass of her fist he’s painting his stomach with his spend, letting out ragged whispers of her name as he comes. They lay entangled for a moment, but she’s quick to check his bandage.

“Was that too much? Are you ok?” He lets out a whisper of a laugh, brushing her hair out of her face and looking at her in a way she hasn’t seen before. His voice is hoarse when he finally speaks.

“I’m fucking perfect, darlin.” It makes her laugh, and she dips her head to press a kiss into his collarbone before getting up to find something to clean them up with.

They settle back into bed after getting cleaned up. He falls asleep before her, with her temple pressed right over his heart. She knows that it’s all hers, and that she’s all his, no matter the price.

[residentialsinyomakai]

My Thoughts/Kind of a Summary on "Katie's Yokai Butler"

This will all be from memory, so I apologize if some things are off, out of order, or otherwise incorrect `~` Edit Yomo here! I watched it about halfway through this but i have an awful memory ahhh! Anyways, screenshots n stuff might be included now! This'll basically be somewhat of a summary as well as a few observations I've made. Also, I'll be using the English names for characters! Keita is Nate, Fumi-chan is Katie, Warunyan is Baddinyan, so on so forth—☆

[SPOILERS AHEAD OBVIIIII]

The alternative timeline in summary is basically if Katie had gotten the yokai watch instead of Nate. It's first (and last) anime mention to my knowledge is in the Season One episode "Katie's Yokai Butler" if my memory served correctly! The episode follows Whisper through his 'dream' in what is presumed to be a look into the alternate Whisper's life. After a little argument with Nate about his messy room, Whisp cream goes to bed upset. He first wakes up to the smell of roses, and quickly realizes he isn't where he should be. (Probably bc Nate's room smells like cheeto puffs/j) He looks around to find himself in Katie's room. ( ＞Д＜；)

This brings us to the first major difference in this timeline; it takes place in Katie's house obviously! Makes sense since she got the watch instead of Nate >u○ Her room is a lot cleaner, and even appears to be more spacious than her male counterpart. That aside, Katie comes upstairs at some point to wake Whisper, to which he responds with confusion as to where he is and how she can see her. To this universe's Katie, she thinks he's acting strange. She pinches him upon request to make sure he's not dreaming, to which he didn't wake up. That confirms that!

(*￣∇￣)ノ

After a bit, Katie returns back downstairs when she hears her father calling her. This leads Whisper to wonder about another difference; the inclusion of Baddinyan. Besides the obvious fact of it not being Jibanyan, this also means Katie is probably going to interact with other yokai in a rather different manner than Nate! I say that because Nate met Roughraff in Season 1, Episode 3. He didn't even get Baddinyan's medal! (which sucks because that's one of my favorite yokai! Goofy little cat,,, °□°)

Baddinyan's first appearance in the episode 💞🐛👾

If we're talking on all timeline differences—not just the ones in Katie's house—then the meeting with Roughraff might be a good point to bring up. Considering the fusion was involuntary in Nate's timeline, what happened in Katie's? Did they decide to stay fused after that for whatever reason, did Katie fuse them at a place like shonen temple (which doesn't exist in the anime I think >~>), or did something happen pre-canon for them to have became friends and fuse? Sometimes, a fusion can be in the same place as the yokai that fused them in the anime due to certain yokai like Baddinyan forming a separate consciousness from either original host ( 〃=▽=〃) (I probably sound like a huge dweeb rn </33) Maybe Katie said something to the newly existent Baddinyan to make him give her the medal, and thus hanging around her from now on!

After some vague threats at fighting Whisper from Baddinyan, the yokai butler in question wonders about who replaced Hidabat in the closet. He goes to open it leading us into our next difference; Shadow Venoct. There isn't much from me to say about this one to be honest, he doesn't have any lines except for maybe the hissing of his snake-scarf thingies hissing at Whisper (¤o¤|||. I've noticed that a lot of Katie's friends seem to be more powerful, or at least a higher rank than Nate's. [Ex: Shadow Venoct being S Rank, Baddinyan being B Rank, and another S Rank we'll get into later—!♡]

Sometime after that, Katie calls Whisper down to help her investigate the strange way her mother was acting. Whisper attempts to use the Yokai Pad to identify the yokai...although Katie swipes it away just as quickly. <°[O□o;]°> She says that Whisper (or this timeline's original version of...) promised to try and memorize the information instead. It seems un-Whisper like, but to be fair, alternate Whisper probably formed a different dynamic than the usual! She identifies the yokai with the watch, to which Whisper (discreetly uses the pad and) figures out it's Noway!

To deal with him, Katie said that she'd summon a special rare friend. This turns out to be Robonyan's timeline counterpart; Goldenyan! Upon asking the golden robot cat for help, he says that this was 'beneath' his capabilities and basically that his power shouldn't be wasted on it...; ￣Д￣ Anyways, he leaves to the future and the episode ends with Katie using Whisper as a special attack against Noway, much to his dismay >u<. Oh, and it's revealed here that Whisper was dreaming.

Although it may have been a "dream", I'm 99% sure that was a plot device to not have to script in 'Whisper going to another universe!!' to the episode and how he eventually gets back. I personally believe it would be cool to see a spin-off dedicated to something like this! There's Nyanderful Days I guesssss but that doesn't really count cuz it just has Whisper and Jibanyan and it's just inserting Katie into the og series plot (￢_￢) There's a lot of potential, and I'm sure viewers over here in the west and Japan would be happy to see our girl the the spotlight for once wwwwww. Maybe it'd also be an opportunity to have McKraken put into the anime? Hint hint? That, as well as several yokai who might not have been seen by Nate due to him going different places as Katie, hanging out with different people, etc! Anyways, that's all for now!

[operationslipperypuppet]

out of all the broken trios, Jolene/Marabelle/Cobb is a little bit the most interesting.

to start, they're basically the second one introduced overall. they establish that Alanis/Thiala/Ulfgar is the beginning of a pattern, not an isolated incident.

second - we know the most about them the fastest. while it takes a while to build to backstory as to the why and how other heroes separated, Cobb explains what happened to his adventuring party the first time he's asked. they are also visited in narrative flashbacks more often than any other trio, iirc. we get to see Jolene fighting alongside her daughter in the endgame, saving the One Hells. Cobb is basically a member of the Boobs for two entire arcs, and comes back at the end for a bit. we see the most from them when it comes to fights and supporting new heroes.

third - their reconciliation is poignant and immediate. but it's also possible. Aryox is long gone, and Telaine likely wouldn't have heard him out. Thiala was a fascist, Alanis will never forgive her (nor should she). there is reconciliation possible and that happens for other trios, but not in the same way. when Cobb leans down it's because he's already forgiven Marabelle's mistake. Moonshine knows she can pretend to be Jolene because Jolene, too, would immediately forgive her sister. and when the context is explained to Jolene, all the ill will she ever had for her sister (which was likely low at that point) washed away.

fourth - Cobb and Jolene clearly and without exception remain a duo, friends, together, even without the third member of their party. Marabelle's assumed betrayal hurts them, certainly, but it does not have a long-term effect on their friendship. we don't exactly see independent duos with the other broken trios. not from the outset. when Jolene takes her place as the MeeMaw, Cobb remains. he's a stalwart defender of the Crick. there's nothing anyone could say to get me to believe he wasn't sent to Galaderon on Jolene's request, as he does in the later episodes when he travels to Irondeep and helps the Goo Gone Gang. he's an institution at the Crick, he makes the best fireworks shows (non-magical) and is someone everyone knows and cares about, in a place where someone he could have avoided due to baggage is in charge. but they don't really let the issues break apart their friendship. not that we can see.

and finally - it's the one that, now, we see as the most broken. Jolene was always going to outlive Cobb. it just happened tragically, and likely sooner than she expected. when we return to the Crick in campaign 3, an argument could have been made (by me, to me, at least) that Cobb was out on a scouting mission, and that Murph did backflips to get the Boobs to leave him behind in C1, so why would he tempt them with him again (this is a joke, to be clear). but that's not the case. he's gone, and Jolene is alone. the only member of her party to remain. Alanis let the breakup of her adventuring party crumble her: she meddled with the world for centuries, trying to right her wrongs; she’s still doing work to make sure Thiala’s actions don’t destroy the world and she may never be finished. Jolene would never fall into that path. she keeps working toward the advancement and protection of her community, even when it's threatened. she stays the defender of the Crick that she always was, the woman we know as an audience. she won't rain arrows down from her towers, she will always shine a light.

broken trios break the people in them. we have seen most of the other broken trios as shattered parts of the whole, where the individuals, even if they come back together, continue to show the baggage of their break. Cobb, Marabelle, and Jolene are the exception to that second half of the rule. and a little bit that’s because of the Crick and how they were raised and continue to live, but it’s also about who they are as people and how they (Cobb and Jolene) seemingly actively chose to not let what happened ruin that.

and if you were to ask me? the band of boobs will follow their path, especially given that hardwon is on his way back to them.

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — DILUC x FEM READER

Diluc runs into a once-familiar face at a ball and has a crisis. 

wc — 1.4k

tags —  regency au, Diluc is the epitome of a repressed regency man trying to be proper but being violently turned on by the tiniest amount of skin, childhood playmates meet again four years later, hand flex™️, title from BNHA episode lol

Diluc hadn’t been prepared to ascend to the role of patriarch of the Ragnvindr dukedom at 16, but he had been good at hiding it. 

There were many things Diluc was good at hiding, and from many people, but his childhood friends couldn’t be included among them. Kaeya and Jean could always see right through him. This ability was not appreciated. Especially not when it was used to their advantage. 

“Please, Diluc,” Jean says, knowing she’s wearing him down. “You know my father’s on an expedition with Varka. Who else can I ask to sponsor Barbara’s debut as a debutante?” 

“Kaeya.” Diluc replies flatly. 

“I love Kaeya to death, but we both know he won’t do. His reputation is in tatters!” 

It was true. Kaeya was known as a bit of a lady killer. Not for the first time, Diluc cursed his brother’s less than discreet ways. 

“Please, Diluc. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” 

He knew she wouldn’t and Barbara was a good child who deserved to have a debut, so Diluc begrudgingly found himself playing chaperone. At least Barbara seemed to be enjoying herself. She was one of the most popular young ladies at the ball, with scores of men nearly fighting for the chance to mark their names down on her dance card. 

Diluc himself was bored out of his mind. He took another sip of grape juice and realized belatedly that he had almost finished the entire bottle, as drinking to avoid conversation was all he had been doing for the past hour. 

He was just thinking that as unfortunate as it was, he was ready to tell Barbara to wrap things up so he could take her home when a scuffle broke out on the dance floor. Two boys seemed to be coming to blows over who got to take Barbara’s next dance, with the poor girl caught between them. 

Diluc shoved back his seat, but someone else got there first. The more he looked, the more she seemed familiar. 

The memory returns to him like the first sip of water after a drought.

He was a little shocked, to be honest. It had been, what, four years? If you were who he thought you were, it was a little past the usual time to be debuting. 

You had been Kaeya’s age, he remembered. 

Why was it so startling that you were older now? He had grown. Obviously, you would as well.

His heart doesn’t obey the cool rationality of the mind that got him through fatui ridden Snezhnaya. It strangles itself in his chest, marching to an unsteady beat as his feet carry him slowly over to where you have separated Barbara from the boys. 

They’re jeering at you, calling you a spinster, an old maid past her prime. 

“If you’re not careful,” Diluc says, “you’ll be the ones with no prospects while she’s bided her time for the right man. What lady wants a husband who flies into rages over such simple matters?” 

The Ragnvindr name carries the same weight it had when Diluc’s father was alive. He swallows hard. It’s always strange, watching people turn their eyes on him with the same respect they used to give his father. Crepus used to be the wise one breaking up petty arguments such as these, he and Kaeya the young and immature boys. 

Now everything was different. Diluc has to face the dawn. He was the head of the Ragnvindrs now, duty bound to uphold the legacy of his clan. 

“Diluc,” you stammer, a relic of a time when you had been children and manners were excusable. So you remember him, too.

Then, “Mr. Ragnvindr,” with the understanding now that things were different. That propriety was necessary. 

To hell with propriety. Diluc wanted to hear you stutter over the syllables of his name again. 

He doesn’t smile as he lets his gaze drift over you. He can’t. There’s too many emotions bubbling in his chest. He’s not sure what kind of expression he wants to make.

Your appearance inspires odd feelings in him, a mix of nostalgia, love, and sadness. He wants to touch your face, and feel the softness of your cheek cradled in his palm. He wants to see your eyes close as you lean into his touch. He wants to measure the tiny gap of skin between where your sleeves end and your wrists with his fingers.

Instead his hand flexes with a movement restrained. 

Finally, after allowing himself one final second to drink your appearance in, he says, “Please let me escort you home.” 

Barbara is unusually quiet on the carriage ride back. She darts quick glances between you and Diluc, which slightly unnerves you, even more so when she practically flies out of the carriage into Jean’s arms and starts whispering frantically. Jean nods and pats her back, waving goodbye as Diluc’s carriage trots off in the direction of your address. 

You still haven’t spoken more than a few words to each other since that first moment of recognition at the ball, but when you make to leave the carriage, Diluc grabs your wrist, his fingers curling in a delicate ring. He’s careful. He’s breaking custom.

“What is it, Mr. Ragnvindr?” You prompt after a moment of silence. 

Diluc looks caught in a trap. His heart is torn between longing and righteousness, wanting you and wanting what’s best for you (which is not him). 

Diluc is too much himself to be any good for you. He has long since sworn off marrying anyone, knowing that the Ragnvindr line would die with him. His father would have been disappointed. 

But he would be more disappointed in Diluc’s other activities, like vigilantism, so what’s one more sin to add to the list? Diluc wouldn’t take a wife just to leave her bed cold and empty. He couldn’t marry a woman so that she could wonder if he was out with someone else instead of having dinner with her. He can’t share this bloody and bruised life with anyone. 

He has long since made peace with this fact. 

Within his own estate, Diluc shuts the door behind him and leans his back against it. He slides down until he’s sitting with his back against the wall, head tipped back. He’s grateful all the servants have gone home but Adeline, who he knows is asleep in her room. 

Feeling like a creep, he lifts his hand to his nose and sniffs tentatively. If he concentrates, he can still gather the faint whiff of your perfume lingering where his skin had touched yours. 

Diluc could never be a good husband, but he dreams he could be for you. Silly, impossible dreams, but they get him to dawn.

[skayafair]

Part 40

Ok so I've slept on it and have a few thoughts now.

First, I'm glad HG decided to tone down the emotional intensity of drama and tragedy - I thought it's gonna be difficult to listen to the finale after some s3 episodes, but s4 was mostly ok and the finale turned out to be lots of fun! I was smiling widely for the most of it. It even made me somewhat like Kayne! A little bit but still!

Second, we didn't "see" Noel die - great, he lives until proven otherwise. Arthur survived a similar injury, people in this universe are surprisingly durable. Noel lasted this long with a neck injury and didn't die - if Kayne didn't yeet him to some wilderness or worse, he'll live. Possible to pol up later.

Third, I thought Arthur was robbed of all his newfound allies, but I was wrong. Daniel and Marie are still in the picture, so Arthur has human "anchors", he's not alone anymore.

Who Arthur WAS robbed of, are allies who can go with him. Oscar is in the hospital and is abandoned in general, Noel... who knows where, and the surprising newcomer in Butcher's face is obliterated. It reminds me of how a lot of official "uncanon" spin-offs of different show return to status quo in the end of he series because they need to keep the cast the same and otherwise the whole outline of the show may change a lot. I'm not sure if that's the case with Malevolent since... yeah, we had a full season of a wider range of characters, but they were concentrated in the same location, which was convenient. How would this work in other cases? Plus, Arthur and John wete going on a vacation trip without anyone else anyway. Also, damn you Kayne for ruining this! They deserve the vacation!

So all in all we're back to where we started, more or less. It was a neat wrap up of the season, together with the location, new characters, some side quests and even a few answers (wild, I know).

For instance, now we know Yellow actually WAS the King in person. Seems like John is rather a big piece of him if Arthur didn't even notice any difference in the entity at first. I kinda liked my idea that Yellow might have been Kayne's creation completely, a simulacrum just for funsies, because Kayne's idea of fun is cruel. So there would have been Arthur suffering from loss of his dear friend and dealing with this ye olde version if him, John suffering either in Dreamlands or in the Dark World, and Yellow, suffering from all the confusion regarding his identity. Imagine how painful it is after all the efforts to remember, to be what you think you were, just to find out that you never were in the first place. All the "I AM THE KING" gone sour and groundless. That might have broken a newborn consciousness of Yellow, his adopted identity. But he also could have explored it and become something new altogether. Man I'd like to read a fic like that.

But he's the KiY, which is why not, too. He has some new info to work with. New lasting impressions to process. I bet those little adventures in the human world and time with Arthur, time with Larson, short and heated but still... connected argument with John won't go without a trace. Damn I wanted them to talk properly SO BAD and now we're unlikely to get it, ever 😭 But at least there was John, clearly uneasy with the idea of killing Yellow. I don't think it's just his concern about himself vanishing as well. He souned rather sympathetic towards Yellow when they talked about him with Arthur. This warms my heart.

Right. There are 3 things related to this.

John's attitude towards Yellow and the King (Yellow still has amnesia so I can't consider him the King, the personas are different) in pt 40, towards the complete separation from them reminded me of going full no contact with abusive/toxic family. It's hard, and one would often wonder if they survive on their own. Arthur having faith in him didn't ensure anything but helped, I think.

The King and John are fully separated now, so John must be safe-er (if Kayne didn't lie) and his journey is more his now. It isn't even remotely perfect since he's still stuck with Arthur but it's still good news. And I believe they don't have to worry about the King anymore. If he regains his memories, he'll know John is of no use to him anymore, and there's no use to try and hunt these two down since they'll win SOMEHOW eventually, anyway. They have powerful patrons. *wink wink*

Maybe some time later, like, muuuuch later, they will be able to talk properly. Like equals. To exchange experience, impressions. The King values art and knowledge, and so does John. I believe his curiosity is an inherent trait they both share. C'mon. The King is too possessive to let such a chance go. GIMME THEIR CONVERSATIONS I NEED THESE

Also, I'm concerned about Larson. Sure he's half-dead (seriously, 3 gunshot wounds in the body - stomach and back, - strangulation, eye snatching, and he's STILL alive, can he just roll over and die please? As a treat?), but physical form has never been his forte anyway. He successfully brainwashed Yellow and tried to do the same to John (ahaha that was a funny attempt, well, would have been, be John not losing himself at the moment, but the outcome was still pretty much predictable and laughable), his power is in his mind. His words are poison, and he can still speak. I am NOT ok with that. With what he can do to Yellow/the King. What if he talks him into something terrible again. Leave my bby be ffs, Yellow deserves some peace and quiet of his home in Dreamlands. Seriously, Larson is terrible to children and I've said it multiple times that Yellow really reminds me of a rebellious teenager.

Next, I've missed the first 5 minutes or so, so I don't know if it's relevant, but CAN SOMEONE PLEASE explain to me like I'm 5 what was up with the Butcher? It was the most out of blue twist ever. Why did he agree to help? Why did he go against Larson when he was so persistent before? I understand maybe admitting defeat and a respect towards Arthur and Noel who caught him, but helping? Was he promised to be set free of smth? I'll relisten fron the very beginning but uh will it really clear thus up?..

Also. When I said "some answers", it was really just a few. We still have no idea what's up with the 3 soldiers, that woman in the woods, the stone. Is Kayne going to show something about that?

And do we just leave the ultimate purpose, the separation device, sitting in that underground place, just like that?

And I did NOT like how defeated, lifeless Arthur sounded when he agreed to go with Kayne. What's the big deal?? He KNEW John was hiding something, knew it was important, could deduce there was some lie due to Johns intense interest in white lies topic, and it wouldn't have been a stretch to assume John really DOESN'T LIKE lying to him if it can be helped and wouldn't harm them (intentionally). Which, it couldn't. All this, prior to Kayne's appearance. All that conversation did was fill in the blanks. Now Arthur has a clear picture. John didn't say anything that could put a blame on himself. If anything, his actions and behavior make so much more sense now. Arthur is WELL aware about the fact that being left alone in the Dark World is John's WORST fear that came true and lasted. It was one thing to end up there the 1st time. Terrible, traumatizing, but how much WORSE it is to be thrown there again after John learned what it's like to NOT be alone, to be himself? To have hope? Just to lose it all. He called to Kayne only after a long time, when there was nothing to hope fore anymore and he could stand it any longer. Did he hope for Arthur to find him? Even if just a little? Just for that to never happen? And then Arthur's words in the mines, about "let's find each other there". Damn, my heart 💔

I understand Arthur may be somewhat shoked and there was no time to process, but if he's gonna be bitching up bout ANY of that, I'll be angry.

It just. It's the only explanation I can find for why he sounded so... like he gave up. Like the backbone he was relying on betrayed him. When none of that actually happened.

[oddballstudios]

OBA9 - Sins of The Father

Hello reader! So, you've just heard of, or just watched, the scrapped OddBall Adventures episode, "Sins of The Father"! Also known as, "Sympathy for The Devil", or just "Episode 9"!

I understand it's a very bold departure from our usual storytelling, and I wanted to explain everything about it and show off some concept art.

This episode explores the backstory of Satan and Legion. Specifically, Satan's complicated relationship with his father, the demon king Beelzebub. As well as his straining relationship with his girlfriend, Tunrida.

THE STORY

After the incident in the Hotel, Satan takes Legion back home and grounds him. Legion expresses frustration, and idolizes his grandfather, Beelzebub. Satan expresses discomfort, and tells his son the story of his adolescence- and how Beelzebub wasn't the great ruler Hell thought he was.

Satan is a rebellious, angry, self loathing, insecure, cowardice, teenager. Sicked by his prestige status as the future ruler of Hell, longs for a casual life free of responsibility. Think the Jesus of Suburbia. His girlfriend Tunrida, still practices her religion. Satan loves her, but is too much of a coward to face his father and tell him off. Even if he did, what good will that do? His dad is literally the devil, and they often butt heads over each others ideas of his future.

Beelzebub has arranged for Satan to be married with a wall of fire, to get his life back on track. To fill up the seats of Hell, he and his brothers leave to destroy Earth. Satan throws himself a bachelor party and avoids having the conversation with Tunrida. When she finds out, and Satan is too spineless to stand up for himself, she leaves.

Satan finally blows up at his father, and tells him what's really on his mind. It's here he realizes, Beelzebub has fallen down the same road that Satan's life could be headed. Beelzebub let his lust get the better of him, and had sex with his lighter. Creating, Satan. Satan comes from a man made object, and therefore resembles a human more than a demon. A weak link in the bloodline, only a powerful firewall can fix.

Right at the end of their argument, Beelzebub is assassinated by a gun toting samurai. The samurai looks Satan in the eyes before they run off, back to their HQ to celebrate, revealed to be Anna (More on this later).

With his father dead, Satan becomes the new ruler of Hell. His life is effectively over, and he goes on to live an unfulfilled unhappy life. He and the great firewall create Legion, somewhat restoring the family bloodline. Hell gets a makeover and is thrown into the industrial age.

Like father like son, Satan is now putting his son through pain, under the guise of "it's for your own good". Legion storms off.

ANNA DID WHAT?!

That's a bit of a bombshell, but is a part of her story we've been building towards since the beginning. The following would've been revealed in episode 10, Japannada.

Before the events of the series, Anna was a trained and skilled demon hunter working for a branch of the Canadian government called the Demon Extermination Agency (DEA).

When Beelzebub went to destroy Earth, he started with Canada. Beelzebub didn't get far. His brothers were detained and later killed by the DEA and he was forced to retreat. She followed him back into Hell and assassinated him. The DEA didn't see Satan as a threat, and let him live.

After killing the great king, Anna retired into witness protection, and moved to Georgetown, GA in the United States. It's here where she of course, meets the guys, and becomes Mayor George's personal assistant. After involuntarily becoming the mayor, and within such proximity to Legion, her cover is at stake. The DEA asks her to return for one last job.

What happens next is still yet to be revealed...

THE DEVELOPMENT

Dave originally pitched the idea of a Satan backstory episode to me in 2020, around when we released Island 2. I was at first apprehensive, but after we finalized the script for Hotel Hell, and started to get some ideas going for Japannada, we were all up for the idea.

It originally started just as a mini episode, around the length and scale of The Slide. We kept coming up with so many branching ideas, that after about 6 different versions of the script were made, we decided to call it a full episode. It's place in the story was too significant to just be a mini.

Revisions and storyboards were worked on throughout 2022 and 2023. Due to various technical and hardware issues, creative differences, and big changes in all of our personal lives, the episodes production fell far far behind. By the end of 2023, the episode had been entirely re-story boarded, re-edited, and half re-recorded at least two to three times.

When we made the decision to end OddBall Adventures earlier this year, we also wanted to cease production on this episode as well. It's tone was way too out of left field to be a finale. Spending the next year and a half making an episode who's story-line will never be concluded, a somber melodramatic episode that didn't even focus on the main cast, it wasn't right. There was still just enough done on it to make a mock edit and release to the public.

Without giving anything away, the newly written final episode will repurpose ideas from this episode and what was to come after.

MORE CONCEPT ART

I will make a separate more in depth post going over various concept art and designs from over the years, As well as existing early storyboard material!

Thank you for reading this blog, and I hope you enjoyed what the episode was to be! -CB

Art director and lead character design by @redrampager. Additional concept art by @commanderrcat, Dan Delgado, and Ivy Vennard.

[yolowritter]

Volpibug Au Part 4: Mom help, there's a fox girl on my floor!

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Lilanette Hell! Finally, after three rants longer than my entire attention span, I've returned with the good shit! Also yes, I cackled at the title. You'll see, it makes sense later. Part 3 of the Au is right here for anyone who needs a reminder, and today's rant focuses on the Glaciator episode and the immediate aftermath! This is where the Lilanette really begins! Also, this post is going to be really long, because I've got two whole snippets for you guys!

To give a bit more context, the Au currently has a pretty linear timeline. Begins with Volpina because obviously that's when Lila shows up for the first time, continues into Collector where Lila decides that Adrien is the least annoying person in class and she will get him back, hence teaming up with Marinette to go confront Gabriel about it. Yes, she gleefully reminds Monsieur Mothballs that CPS exists and is only one phone call away. Then the show moves on as normal, with Lila happily staying out of everyone's business and just kinda figuring out how friendships are supposed to work.

Add a few flashbacks to her altered backstory, maybe some nice Trixx pov to sweeten the deal, and suddenly we're at the Sapotis episode! As I mentioned in Part 2, Lila doesn't like Chloe, so she and Marinette kinda put their differences aside for the sake of Adrien having more friends and keeping the Queen B in check. Still, Lila does not like Marinette at this point. She thinks that while having moments of brilliance, the bluenette is erratic, overly emotional and also kinda creepy with her stalking of Adrien. This isn't bashing, just Lila being a bit too blunt. Anyway, they aren't clawing each other's eyes out and that's what matters. Cue Alya inviting them both to sleepover, the Sapotis incident, and then the rest of Part 2 where Volpina (with her fake civilian name starting with "Cer-" as a nod to Cerise) joins the hero team. If you need a reminder, don't worry I'll rant about it again sometime soon. Lila comes and goes during Akuma fights, occasionally showing up to laugh at Chat Noir when he gets yeeted halfway across the cityscape, and usually just sniding at that day's Akuma. She needs to get it out of her system to be able to hold her tongue in school, so it's a good outlet!

But anyway, one day the Glaciator Incident happens, mostly like normal. Lila gets invited to go out with the rest of the group, and actually does her whole innocent act to basically force Marinette to show up...but Adrien doesn't. Lila is less than pleased with this decision, because if you remember she told Marinette off for memorizing Adrien's wiki page and kinda stalking him instead of...oh, talking to the guy! It annoys her a bit too much, so she endeavors to put an end to this crap by making it so Marinette has to interact with Adrien in the context of friendship, and hopefully figures out that stealing phones is Lila's thing, and no, she doesn't allow copycats! Evidently...Marinette ends up having the same interaction with Andre, causing him to be upset, but Lila steps in to save the day by exclaiming that his ice cream is awesome and she really wants to try! Akuma averted...or not, because once she thinks she's out of earshot, Lila mutters about how a grown adult shouldn't get so hung up on teenagers' love lives + a whole bunch of "doesn't he have anything better to do?" Again, not bashing anyone, just Lila being Lila. Cue Glaciator, canon edition!

Volpina does show up for the fight and distracts him while Ladybug and Chat have their little "faking feelings is wrong!" argument, but Lila quickly gets tired of their shit and urges Adrien to just get it over with! Then, she hides behind a chimney to keep watch and they defeat the villain. As Volpina makes her way back down, Ladybug and Chat have a little conversation where he asks her to at least let him talk to her, and then they leave Lila behind to have the rooftop scene with the rose. As Ladybug leaves, Volpina jumps over (yes, she obviously spied on them, she does this a lot) to talk with Chat Noir.

Now...Lila does not do feelings of any kind. Empathy isn't in her dictonary, even if she is slowly learning how to practice it despite that. And here...she actually does have one of those mature moments. Lila's been forced to grow up too quick after her grandma's death with only Trixx for company (see part 1 here for the backstory), so that sobered her up a bit. Half the reason she treats everyone like an idiot is because they're all incredibly immature in her eyes. Anyway, she sits on the railing and Chat exclaims he's not in the mood for jokes tonight. Alarm bells start ringing in Lila's head, because she actually really vibes with their team's other pun enthusiast. She wouldn't call him a friend, but who else can help her drive Ladybug insane if not for the mangy stay? So she decides to talk to him about it, and we get the following snippet! Bet you weren't expecting that!

[...]

Volpina raises her hands in a surrender, giving Chat a toothy grin that shows her fangs. Her tail swishes around the metal railing, but after his frown doesn't go away, she clears her throat and scoots over to him. "Listen...I really don't do feelings. And I'm going to regret this...but do you want to talk about it?" she asks, trying to smooth her voice into something soft instead of the usual teasing tone.

The blonde's surprise is only betrayed by the sudden twitch of his ears, and Lila lazily stretches her arm to at least keep up the pretense of not caring. Give the boy an out if he doesn't want to share, and hope it all works out. Instead, Chat levels her with a suspicious stare. "Why do you even care? Sure, you're on our side..." he makes a wild gesture with his arms, as if physically grasping for the right words.

Lila cuts him off by snapping her claws together, meeting his eyes. "Because if you and the watermelon don't get your shit together, that's more work for me. And I've already fought enough of his kids' cartoon rejects as it is." she tells him in a rare moment of honesty. Not that Volpina doesn't care, it's just that the list of people she's willing to fight over currently extends to maybe five or six, and begrudgingly at that.

Chat's face falls, as if he'd half expected it. For a moment he almost looks like he's going to try and scold her...but he only gives a deep sigh. "It's complicated. I don't expect you to understand." the blonde mutters, ears drooping like someone's doused him with ice-cold water.

"It's either me or your Kwami. Take your pick, I won't sit here all night." Volpina argues in a dismissive tone. When Chat looks away from her, Lila thinks she maybe should have picked her words more carefully. Resisting the urge to leave him be, Volpina reaches out to gently grasp his shoulder with her claws. She levels him a serious look, to say she means it. "Just...start talking, would you?" Lila prods him, and Chat's eyes glint with poorly-disguised surprise. What an idiot...it's not like she'd actually grown attached. That would just be ridiculous.

Nevertheless, he tells her everything. How he'd invited Ladybug on a date and carefully prepared everything in advance, even if she told him it was a maybe. Well, that was much more headway than he'd ever made, so Chat Noir still went on with trying to make the perfect spot. But...she hadn't shown up. Dissapointed, he'd headed over to Marinette, having seen the bluentte on her balcony. Lila carefully files away their prior friendship, as well as the fact that she might have judged the girl a bit too quickly. If one of Paris' heroes has taken such an interest to her...could there be a side to her beyond the exasparating annoyance she's been friends with for so long? Chat goes on to describe the impromtu date between them, and then the conversation with Ladybug that Volpina definately hadn't listened in on. Spying on her teammates during a momet of emotional vulnerability? Her? Never!

Still, a certain detail does stick out to her, but she politely waits until the blonde is done moping. "You...do know she told you there were other plans for tonight, right?" Volpina asks, leaning her face towards him to look into Chat Noir's eyes. Her catty green peers through a dissapointed emerald, and he gives a nod. "Okay...I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but you know that Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up just because you expected her to, right? Everyone is allowed to say no." Lila tells him, trying to keep her tone from turning to an accusation. She'd never gotten the impression that Chat believed himself entitled to the other girl's affections, but it didn't hurt to make sure.

Silence slowly envelops them as he mulls her words over, as if struggling to understand the concept. She straightens up, arching her back across the railing for a stretch as Chat falls deep in thought. "We...we can say no?" he asks dumbly, almost as if he hadn't heard her. Oh. Oh...shit. She knew that innocent gaze from a mile away, having spent so much time glued to Adrien's side. Lila's heart sings with pity, and she takes a deep breath.

"Yes, of course we can." Volpina insists, grabbing onto his shoulder for emphasis. She clicks her claws together, hopping off the railing and standing next to Chat Noir. "Listen to me. Other people's desires only matter if you decide they do. And it goes both ways. Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up today, and you aren't forced to go on patrol if you don't feel like it." Lila tells him seriously, looking the blonde in the eye.

Then, as abruptly as the advice came, she steps back and promptly twirls herself around, playfully hitting his arm with her tail. Chat doesn't say a word, and Volpina takes a cursory glance at the sky. "I gotta run. Try not to get caught out in the rain, would you?" she snips at him before climbing on the railing. Before he's even gathered his bearings, she's disappeared over the skyline, with only the familiar high-pitched titter grazing his ears. Chat Noir unhooks his baton, and quickly jumps away into the night.

[...]

And scene! I figured this specific conversation was important, because Lila's advice really resonates with Adrien here. Also, I'll take any excuse to have Volpina on screen, but it's mostly for the plot. I'm trying to prevent Ladynoir without any fights, so Lila has her work cut out for her if she wants to accidentally rizz up Marinette. Believe me, if you thought the Agrestes were oblivious, they've got nothing on the fox girl who subconsiously doesn't think there's anything about her to love. Never to a point of self-hate, Lila is fairly comfortable with who she is as a person, but just...hasn't ever recieved affection aside from her grandmother. Sure, she's dated a few boys before, but that was only because she was using them for one reason or the other, and the "relationships" lasted only barely a month each, being more uninteresting than the one before. So...you can guess why Lila has never considered it after coming to Paris.

Also, just to be perfectly clear, despite Volpina and Chat Noir having their moments together and even a psuedo-date later on, things are strictly platonic here. Lila doesn't like him that way, and Adrien sees her as the cool friend who's teaching him what freedom actually looks like. His eyes are squarely on Ladybug, and later on Kagami. And after that, Luka. But that's for way later in the timeline. Feel free to ask about it though, I'm happy to yap some more about this Au's Lukadrien! Anyway! Lila is very much gay for Marinette, and Volpina does end up as Ladybug's bi awakening...so there's that! Alright, back to the plot!

The next morning passes by quickly, and Lila decides to join the nightly patrol with Ladybug and Chat, which she almost never does aside from when Volpina is in a mood to jumpspace their brave leader. She does it constantly, and Ladybug can never manage to find her before Lila suddenly appears behind her to say hello. This time however, she decides to spy on them again as they have a conversation, and Chat apologizes to Ladybug, explaining that he got his hopes up and it wasn't her fault. She then says it's okay, they hug, happy ending! But that's not what Lila is here for at all! See, Chat's words about Marinette have been stuck in her head all day now. In fact, Lila even tried being nice to the bluenette at school today (severely weirding her out) just to see if there's a difference to how she acts with her actual friends.

The results were...inconclusive, so she's come up another brilliant plan! After making sure this whole feelings crap was done with, she would just...show up at Marinette's house. As Volpina. Without any prior warning. And then promptly proclaim their friendship! That seems like a great idea! With only the best of intentions! What could possibly go wrong? ...as it turns out, absolutely everything.

Unfortunately this post is getting a bit too long, so I'll save the snippet for next time. I am writing these on the spot you know, it ain't easy. Hopefully a good way to get rid of Writer's Block, but still a challenge. Anyway, I do hope you all enjoed today's rant! Wasn't as unhinged as when I talk about canon, but then again my Aus have a lot less to complain about and a lot more to enjoy! If any of you want to talk about Volpibug feel free to shoot me an ask, I'm more than happy to tell you everything you want to know!

Anyway, I'll see you all next time, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[farasen]

Deniz' daddy issues and identity crisis

Since people liked my Leon analysis (thanks y'all btw), I gotta proceed with doing the rest of the characters! And today our patient is Deniz! Again, before we start, I'm not affirming anything, I'm not a therapist. It's just me writing my personal opinion, and you're free to disagree. I'm going to start from afar. So, every character has their own episodes that are united with some sort of main theme, like a character arc (well, except for a few episodes). Jojo's is returning home to mother; Raban's proving that, despite all the failures, he's still worthy to be on the team; Vanessa's is the same as Raban's, but because she's a girl; Markus has daddy issues to solve; Marlon is caring about team's well-being and Leon's is...being a dick. Amid this, Deniz' arc seems a bit messy and inconsistent. Though you can characterize it as "always being kept away from the team" it doesn't really concern his inner character (except for s1e5). But what if I tell you that Deniz has identity crisis (let's pretend you didn't read the headline)? First things first, I think everybody noticed the similarities between Deniz and his father, Erol. I'm talking not only about the hair style, but also clothes (V-neck and jeans). Little boy is mimicking his parent for sure. Of course, appearance is not the only thing Deniz is copying from his father. What impression does Deniz give off in s1e3? Quite haughty and arrogant, isn't he? You can even hear his voice being mocky when he talks to the guys. Now look at the Erol's behavior in s1e5. Also arrogant and haughty with his "being the best is being with the best" ideology.

Let's focuse on the 3rd episode a bit more. While Deniz was pretty harsh with the guys, he did show a lot of skills at soccer, because he overplayed the gang in a blink of an eye. He leaves, stating that he wants to play for the 1FC and be like his father. But later on, he has a change of heart and joins the wild ones. This shift always seemed to me pretty... sudden? Sure, they saved him from the school bullies, and yes, you'll be absolutely right if you say that he got inspired by their determination to become the best soccer players. But why so if he was already successful enough in his field? A possible reason why he might have chosen dwk could be the fact that they are simply different from everything he's used to. Deniz got inspired not only because of their willingness to become the champions, but also kindness they've treated him and their free spirit. You see, we don't really know anything about Deniz' past, but judging by some of his lines, he most likely was a loner. For example, in the 5th episode he says: "they were not my team, they were my friends", implying that he never had true friends in the former teams he played with. Furthermore, if we consider the fact that Erol was quite overcontrolling, he might have prohibited Deniz from talking to anyone who is not as skilled as he is. Deniz, on the other hand, wasn't so interested in talking with "the best ones".

Speaking of Erol being an overcontrolling parent. We know that Mr. Yildiz has always been choosing teams for Deniz. We know that there were quite a lot of them, because we've seen his bag with logos of the previous teams. And we know that Deniz has always been simply following his father's orders. The point is, children with parents who push their beliefs upon kids often struggle with having a voice in arguments concerning their hobbies or "happy being" in general. We see Deniz trying to argue with his dad in e5, but he breaks quickly after a strict glance of his. And the same happens in s2e7, Erol clearly has some authority. Here's where Mr. Yildiz is similar to Marcus' father, but unlike Mr. Theumer, Erol is actually willing to change and listen to his son. We don't know much about their relationships before Deniz joined dwk, but in s2 they seem to be doing pretty good, which might be thanks to them finally starting to talk with each other.

Let me also mention that Deniz himself might have idolized his father. His mom was never mentioned or shown, so we are free to assume that Mr. Yildiz raised him by himself. Thus, the only pattern of behavior the boy could see was his father's. And Erol is indeed pretty successful and could be a good role model for a child. Good, but obviously not the perfect one, and the realization of this would've come to Deniz' mind sooner or later. Also, a brief thing to mention about that point: remember in s1e9 he said that he knows that this thing with skulls on tennis balls means Marcus' protest against his father? Could that imply that Deniz tried to do something similar to it? Just a thing for your interpretation.

In the second season Deniz gets overshadowed, unfortunately. But his episode is quite interesting. So, he has trouble with school. It's not clear whether he's always been bad at science subjects or it started recently. For now, let's take the second option because it makes more sense to the analysis. What is a quiet common behavior pattern for teens with an identity crisis is having bad grades. That can happen due to a lack of confidence, but let's face it: Deniz never really showed any signs of that. However, we don't get to see his inner world anyway, so I guess it's another thing for the viewer's interpretation.

Does Deniz even want to play football? I'm sure he is. Let's be honest, he's a nerd. Every time they start to talk about the opponents, he has something to say about them, which clearly shows that he is reading about them or maybe even talked to them. Deniz really is passionate about soccer, but I think he might be struggling with who he is, like his personality, his company of friends, his other hobbies, etc. So what is his character arc about again? As I've already mentioned, there is a pattern with Deniz being somehow kept away from the bunch and not able to be with them. After the analysis of what the wild ones mean to him, I will be bold to say that his arc is not simply "being kept away from the team" but "being kept away from something you love and that helps you to explore yourself", which is a common topic for teenagers who struggle with finding themselves.

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S1E1 and S1E2

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Going this time into Helluva Boss, which shouldn’t be as long as my Hazbin Hotel analyses so I’ll probably be putting two episodes into each post, because HB is very much more about the interpersonal drama and setting than about HH’s cosmic-scale conflicts. However, HB does provide some very interesting context for HH, if they still exist in the same universe, and also interpersonal stuff is fun, so we’ll see how it goes. (Plus—trailer for the second half of season 2 means speculation! Whee! Obviously spoilers for that are here!)

(Also disclaimer that I’m not going through the rigamarole of finding that special slashed-O character so I’m spelling his name Blitzo and we all know the O is silent now, right? Right.)

Starting with Helluva Boss s1e1:

So one of my good friends got me into Hazbin Hotel, but she didn’t mention Helluva Boss to me because she didn’t think I would like it. She was almost right. I liked the style, the characters were fun, but the constant slapstick violence and edgy humor were really off-putting (as in, if that’s all the show was going to be, it wasn’t for me). It wasn’t until episode 5 that I stopped actively wanting to click away (Blitzo/Striker/Moxxie fight was real good okay), and episode 6 got me hooked like a very stupid fish (CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT). However, there’s still a lot to chew on in these early episodes.

Like the alarm lights under Blitzo’s desk. One of them says “client giving birth” and I am DESPERATE to know the story behind that one (or, like, read the fanfic inspired by it). Another says “ghost” (which, given that they’re in Hell, is hysterical, but also…season 2.5, Blitzo and Millie appear to investigate a haunted house. What is their policy on ghosts, exactly?). The rest seem pretty standard to me. Yes, even the “Stolas” one.

One of the things about this show (and Hazbin but let’s stick with where we’re at) that makes me particularly feral is all the background details. For instance: the very subtle signs that Martha and her family aren’t quite right. Lots of guns in the background, subtle bone décor, a literal child’s head mounted on the wall. Classic. Love that human spine lamp, Martha, do you have an Etsy?

Moxxie making little dog noises as his imp sounds is forever the cutest thing actually. Kinda wish I knew what it was that makes Millie’s chittering sounds, because she is equally adorable, just more unrecognizable.

Hazbin Hotel sometimes makes one question why children end up in Hell. Helluva Boss is here to say, “This. This is why. This is why kids end up in Hell sometimes.” Though there is still a huge question of nature vs. nurture in that argument (plus, y’know, since nobody knows what gets a soul into Heaven, they don’t know what gets a soul into Hell, either, but I digress).

This introduction to Stolas (for those of us who didn’t watch the pilot first) definitely shows a different sort of person than the Stolas we get later, which seems to be a favorite thing of Viv’s to do and a thing I’d be more upset about if it wasn’t so effective. Having watched so many times now, I’m starting to finally pick up on the music choices, and hearing Stolas’ song even this early really changes the tone of things, knowing the lyrics that get applied to it later (lol let’s watch Stolas set up the very thing that causes him so much grief later, this won’t end badly and my heart isn’t currently breaking at all).

Alright, diverting to Cosmic Plot for a bit: there are a lot of twig shapes hanging in the trees that look like eyes, and the beam that Millie and Blitzo are tied to has root and eye motifs carved into it. Martha invokes Satan first (in saying they’re going to return his filthy creatures, which is sort of correct, if the lore that imps descend from/were created by Satan is still true), but then says, “may the Root of Evil be honored as we continue thy work.” So, uh. Hey, Roo, the underlying Big Bad of the entire Hellaverse probably, nice to see the roots (pun really not intended, in fact done everything to be avoided, but no other word works dammit) of it being laid out early and in a way that rewards multiple viewings.

Speaking of multiple viewings: Blitzo pulling Moxxie close and threatening him with “if you ever pull a stunt like this again, I’ll fuck you AND your wife” really loses its teeth when you consider how much Blitzo loves insinuating himself into their lives and would be on cloud nine if they agreed to a threesome :P just. Blitzo there’s better ways to proposition people. Come on. “Jelly sandwiches all night” THERE’S a proposition, that’s how it’s done XD (gosh if they ever release the uncut version of whatever the heck Bryce was saying in the booth I think we’ll all pass away)

Moxxie electing to call the cops on Ralph (and subsequently get all three of them torpedo’d straight down to Hell anyway) is a strange choice, knowing he was raised in a mafia family, but even stranger is him thinking that the human authorities would deal with them fairly. Really drives home that despite their proximity, creatures of Hell really don’t get how Earth works. Or that Moxxie is a cream puff. Either way—

Y’know. I really, REALLY wonder how IMP doesn’t come under fire more from previous targets who wind up in Hell, and I am REALLY looking forward to the episode where it finally happens (sidenote to wonder if Martha and her family wound up in Hell at all, or…wherever Roo is).

On to Episode 2!

After introducing Stolas the way they did (aka as an aloof noble with a crush on Blitzo who is really condescending and also horny), the best thing they could possibly do was show that he’s a doting (if increasingly out of touch) father in a rancid marriage. Like. How dare you take this silly little guy and give him real feelings and real problems. How DARE you.

Which all gets worse if you consider how YOUNG Stolas was when he became a father; people calling him middle-aged have it wrong. Thirty-five at least is NOT middle-aged. That is a man still in his prime, not counting the fact that he’s an immortal demon prince. He’s practically a BABY. He had to have been not quite twenty by the time Via was laid and hatched, and HE LOVES HIS LITTLE GIRL SO MUCH—

(Also, the term for a young owl is “owlet,” but then I saw Bryce Pinkham spell it “owlette” in an Instagram post and now I understand where the different spellings in fanfic come from now. It’s more endearing knowing the voice actor is doing it. Even if it’s still wrong :P unless the script is deliberately going for “owlette” as in a female owl; even more permissible, if still annoying.)

“Now all my stories have been told except for one.” Okay. Okay. Hang on a second. Just gotta—hang on a second here. Stolas’ lullaby is a little morbid alongside it being sweet, because he’s essentially telling his daughter “even if I’m dead, you’ll be okay,” which has. So many layers to unpack. Helluva Boss seems to have as one of its major themes self-hatred and the ways it fucks up not only the person who has it, but their relationships, too. Stolas has zero self-worth, or very close to it. Telling his daughter that it doesn’t matter what happens to him is training her for her future as his precautionary heir—because her Goetia-given purpose in life is to take over his duties in case of his death—but it’s also him saying “I’m not that important, you’ll be alright without me.” Which is NOT his call to make. It’s also very sad that he says all of his stories have already been told but one—the story of his death—when he can’t be more than twenty-five at most (trying to do math, which is not one of my strong suits—if we assume 10 was when he met Blitzo, then 25 years later reconnected at 35, and Via is 17 when he’s 35…he would have had to have had her at 18…and if she’s no more than 5 or 6 in this sequence…he would be…23, oh my WORD). I’ve been suicidal and depressed at twenty-three, but I didn’t have a kid and a loveless marriage during it; I can only imagine the necessity of his Happy Pills, to be at the very beginning of a long eternal life and looking at it all with such desolation.

There’s such desperate hope in the lullaby, too; Stolas thinks it’s all over for him, and one day it’ll be over for all of creation, but despite it all, his little girl is still going to be okay. He’s in tears at the sight of her falling asleep thanks to his comforting. He loves her so much. He wants her to be okay when he isn’t anymore. And while that’s sweet, it’s also coming back to bite him in later seasons, because she ISN’T okay and HE isn’t okay either; his attempts to find himself and chase what he wants are the asteroid breaking up under their feet, only he isn’t holding her safe and close this time. Not for lack of trying, but it’s hard to be there for a struggling kid when you yourself are struggling—and worse, when his struggling is what is causing her to struggle too. I think Octavia appreciates the sentiment that he believes she’ll be okay, but what she NEEDS is for him to fight for them BOTH to be okay, and to know that she’s worth being okay for (“being okay” being the metaphor for “living” in this case).

And then cut from this tender scene to Octavia’s new normal: parents screaming, the cracks in their marriage becoming full-on breaks, and Stolas’ obliviousness and new obsession coming in to drag her away to a place she didn’t even really enjoy as a kid, it seems.

(The timeline of this seems weird; in the first episode, Stolas says it’s been quite some time that Blitzo’s been using the book, but this particular fight between Stella and Stolas appears to be fresh, the morning after the first time Stolas and Blitzo sleep together. Unless it’s been months and Stella is still raging like it’s only been hours, which is plausible for her, but I don’t see Stolas continuing to rehash the same steps of that argument like that. Maybe just some writing inconsistencies. I can live with it.)

Sidenote to say I need a Blitzo and Octavia bonding episode like I need air (and I KNOW what Brandon Rogers has said about Octavia and I genuinely don’t know if he was serious or not but he can SUCK IT UP).

“I’ll pay you~!” “Pay me what?” “Money~!” That might be the first time I’ve ever really heard the tildes in someone else’s voice XD Their HEIGHT DIFFERENCE, good GRIEF.

Also, Moxxie’s catchphrase. It’s adorable. It’s so incongruous with the setting. Why does he say that? Will we ever know?

LOL Fizzarolli appearing this early was something I completely forgot my first go-round. It makes me wonder if that particular Fizzbot is different from the others, because it seems to have way more personality and memories. (And can we spare a moment of sadness for knowing that around a decade ago this is where Blitzo was working, still as a clown, as close to Fizz as he could get while still stroking his massive self-hatred? LOL)

Man, the amount of references shoved in here that can only really be appreciated later—Mammon’s Loo Loo Land, Fizzbot shipped from Big Ozzie’s Factory, the fact that he calls them implings, which is only something I’ve ever heard Mammon say—GOLDEN.

I also want that Thing, Millie.

Stolas’ sense of humor turning out weird and kinda dark in a way that means he finds Blitzo trying to be funny actually humorous makes a weird amount of sense, for how sheltered and stifled he was.

“Looks like the kiddies are still running away from you” paired with Verosika’s “and I should have known you’d be here when I heard the Amber Alerts” has a synergy that I don’t know that I’m prepared to examine, actually. The soft-hearted sucker in me thinks maybe Blitzo has a soft spot for kids that his exes (and the robot version of his former best friend) have been poking at for so long it’s gone callused, which could be supported by his choice to adopt Loona and his desperation for any kind of family or connection, but. Idk. This show does go some really skeevy places with its humor sometimes that isn’t really meant to be more than skin-deep.

“Does anybody love you, BlitzO?” “No. But I’m really good with guns now” THAT’S IT THAT’S THE SHOW IT’S NOT GETTING ANY DEEPER I’M NOT WEEPING OVER BLITZO “NOT WANTING TO BE THIS WAY. NOT FOREVER.”

Wow. On-fire Fizzbot coming to take Blitzo down. This isn’t at all a manifestation of his issues that he’s steadfastly ignoring and instead siccing a dragon on. “OH, what a mouth.” SURE, BLITZO. SURE.

Thing I’m also waiting for: Stolas to actually acknowledge Moxxie and Millie. I mean. They do save his life later. Put that on your growth chart, Stolas my dude, not being a total jackass to all other imps that aren’t Blitzo (and even with Blitzo still being SUPER condescending, my hecking heck).

I wonder if Via hears all the things we the audience hear in the stuff that Stolas can’t say—your mother’s always been (mean, maybe), I haven’t been (happy), we weren’t in (love). Because, while Stolas not loving Stella is definitely one of Via’s issues still (given the s2.5 trailer), the bigger issue that Via has always had is Stolas leaving and not being there for her anymore. Which got its roots somewhere, not just from a childhood nightmare. But depression and self-hatred also do that, convince a person their loved ones are better off without them. And with the life situation Stolas is in, it’s not surprising that the more independent his daughter got, the less she saw of him, because he figured the less she needed him (the less she wanted him around). Holy CRAP it’s sad. And drilling right into my own vault of issues lol it’s fine.

(And the proof that Stolas doesn’t need Blitzo, he can protect himself and Via just fine; it’s the companionship he’s aching for, the love story he’s writing in the margins of what’s actually happening. The comfortable lie he’s telling himself and Blitzo is helping him prop up just like Blitzo’s own version. ARGH.)

“Slutty toy clown” OKAY BLITZO.

Alright, calling this post there bc it’s starting to get long. Unsurprisingly, I can go on for a while about just about anything. Future posts coming, and we’ll see how the two-episode per post thing goes when the episodes start getting longer. Toodles!

[legion1227]

The Bear: A review.

If this show ends up on the chopping block because of the Writers and Actors strike, I will be furious.

The Bear dropped all ten episodes of its first season on June 23rd, 2022. The Bear dropped all ten episodes of season two one year later, on June 22nd. Both seasons were watched and finished this year, and I found the show overall to be really great.

If you're looking for a show to watch on Hulu, this is one of the best shows out right now. Jeremy Allen White plays Carmen Berzatto, a young chef who returns to Chicago to run his brother's restaurant. The Bear is considered a comedy, and while it can be funny, it also meshes brilliantly elements of intense drama and chaos.

What separates The Bear from other shows I've seen is its intensity. Multiple episodes are dedicated to Carmen and others cooking and trying to run their business. You get an up-close look at the cast in the kitchen trying their best to make everything work, and so many mistakes or problems arise. Constant issues arise as people bump into each other, the food isn't precise, or huge personalities clash with one another, and the tensions continually rise. It provides the most anxiety-inducing content on streaming, and it's sublime. One of the best episodes of the entire show is season 2, episode 6, titled "Fishes." It's the epitome of comedy and drama, and my anxiety levels have never been higher than during this episode. It's amazing. Celebrity guest stars appear to portray various members of Carmen's dysfunctional family, and one of the best moments to me stems from Carmen's brother and uncle getting into a heated argument where his uncle repeatedly drills the words "You're nothing" into Carmen's brother's head.

Accompany Jeremy Allen White's stellar performances are equally strong cast members in Ayo Edebri as Sydney, Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richie, Abby Elliott as Natalie, Matty Matheson as Neil Fak, L-Boy as Marcus, Liza Colon-Zayas as Tina, Oliver Platt as Carmen's uncle, Edwin lee Gibson as Ebra…there's just so many star players that need to be mentioned. Many of the previously mentioned have episodes dedicated to them, and they're all equally compelling. I don't binge shows much lately as I try to savor and juggle many different shows on my plate at any given moment (how I experience certain shows is a complex system I won't get into,) but if I could, I would've easily binged the seasons. This show has the potential to be something truly special. Jeremy Allen White as Carmen carries with him a brokenness seen similarly in the likes of Bob Odenkirk in Better Call Saul, Bill Hader in Barry, and Jeremy Strong in Succession. All these spectacular shows ending around the same time leave Carmen as the next person to carry the brunt of the weight of the guilt and sins that the aforementioned three held with them for multiple seasons.

(Better Call Saul, Barry, and Succession are some of the best shows I've seen in a while, and The Bear could join them if the cards are played right).

Shoutout to Christopher Storer for penning such an immaculate show. Without talented creatives like this, we wouldn't have such amazing shows.

I hope season 3 comes soon. To nitpick, the first few episodes of season 1 are a bit slow, but once it picks up steam, it does not falter. Overall, both seasons of The Bear are great, and if you have not watched already, I sincerely recommend it. 4/5 overall.

[darkershining]

Just watched episode 6 of Wonderful Pretty Cure, where Komugi's frustrations over not knowing how to activate her Friendly Wand leads to an argument with Iroha.

The episode begins with Komugi, Iroha and Satoru watching the Kirarin Penguin fix another part of the broken crystal along with another section of the Niko Garden. Mey Mey compliments Iroha on her good work in the last confrontation, with Iroha reminding him she couldn't have done it without the Kirarin Rabbit lending her power. Komugi is still wondering why she failed to activate her Friendly Wand, with Mey Mey speculating to why it may have failed before Komugi starts throwing a tantrum about it.

After returning home, Iroha does what she can to cheer up Komugi. Iroha's mother goes to check on them, noting she's waiting for a patient to arrive. The woman finally arrives, having brought over her dog to get it vaccinated. Noticing the dog seems nervous, Iroha goes to help comfort it, assuring it that everything will go smoothly and offering to be there as well. Iroha's mother explains that Iroha has always seemed to have a good understanding of animals. Komugi, however, seems a bit frustrated with Iroha paying attention to another dog and tries to get her attention, only for Iroha's mother to bring her back to the house, telling her to wait so her barking doesn't make the other dog nervous.

At Mayu's place, Mayu is still working on a present for Iroha to thank her for the animal carrying bag she gave her, when her mother comes in to tell her that her father is calling them. Mayu is so focused on her sewing that Yuki has to snap her out of it. Mayu's father tells her he's currently in an African country and took some pictures of some lions. He asks how Mayu is doing and if school has started yet, with Mayu explaining it starts next week. Mayu's mother tells him that Mayu has at least made a friend, with Mayu disagreeing, telling her she doesn't feel that she and Iroha are quite there yet.

Later in the night, Komugi asks if there's anything she can help Iroha with. Iroha tries playing catch with her, but Komugi still wants to something actually useful. Iroha suggests the two go to bed, with Komugi noting it still isn't quite what she had in mind, but since it's late, they might as well get some sleep. The next morning, Komugi is getting ready for her morning walk, when she realizes her leash is gone. Iroha remembers how it turned into the Friendly Wands, and since she has no idea if it can be turned back, she decides to go see if the store still has the same type of leash in stock. Komugi protests that she doesn't want a replacement, since they picked out the original together and she only wants that one.

An argument breaks out when Iroha points out that since they don't know if getting the old leash back is possible, Komugi may just have to accept that it's gone and get a new one, but Komugi refuses to back down, instead deciding to cancel their walk. Iroha's parents can sense that something is wrong, with Iroha's mother noting that since the two of them are always together, it was probably inevitible that the two would end up having an argument at some point.

While Komugi is later playing with Daifuku in the dog run, Iroha vents to Satoru about what happened. However, elsewhere, a lion Garugaru hatches, putting the animals around town on edge. Iroha tells Komugi they should put their argument on hold and go deal with the situation.

They reach the Garugaru and transform, with Cure Friendy and Satoru quickly deducing it's a lion from the mane, and explaining that to Cure Wonderful, who has never seen a lion before. The lion Garugaru ends up intimidating Wonderful to the point where she can't move, with Satoru suspecting Wonderful's instincts might be kicking in when faced with an apex predator and king of the beasts. Cure Friendy suggests Wonderful wait with Satoru while she handles the situation.

Cure Friendy tries reasoning with the lion, but it begins chasing after her. With the help of the Kirarin Penguin's power, allowing her to slide on ice to move faster, Cure Friendy tries to see if she can keep the lion in one spot so she can purify it. However, Cure Wonderful still wants to help and tries to see if she can get her Friendly Wand to work, but nothing happens still.

Unfortunately, this ends up drawing the lion's attention, and both Cures are knocked aside when Friendy tries rushing over to save Wonderful when she freezes up again. The Garugaru gets away, fleeing into the mountains. Iroha scolds Komugi for not doing as she was told. Komugi protests she just wanted to be with her, but Iroha drops the harsh truth that it just isn't possible for them to be together all the time.

As they return home, Satoru tells them he'll look into where the Garugaru might've gone, noting there aren't many places a creature that big could hide, and he'll let them know if he finds something. Later that night, Komugi wakes up, apologizes to a still sleeping Iroha for not being any help, before quietly sneaking out...

Well, that ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Poor Komugi. I'm guessing she ran off to look for the Garugaru in the misguided belief that finding and helping it is the only one she can make things up to Iroha. And I guess my initial theory about why the Friendly Wand didn't work was probably wrong. Guess we'll find out soon enough.

Looking forward to the next episode!

[ecargmura]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Episode 17 Review - See You Later, Sein

There wasn’t a Frieren episode last week due to it being the holidays in Japan. Now that everyone had their fun with festivities, it’s back to anime broadcasting over there and anime reviews here with me. I’m glad to be returning to writing Frieren reviews because my Fridays don’t feel the same without this show now. The show returns with a new opening and a change in the ending animation while using the second verse of the same song; while the second opening isn’t as strong as the first one, it has its own flair.

Basically, this episode is buildup to Sein finally leaving the group and how they get by without him. I’m actually sad that Sein left the group because he felt like the perfect companion that balanced the group dynamic. He’s both the older brother and father figure of the group. He’s someone Frieren can give praises to and talk on equal grounds with due to their similarities. He’s a mediator when Fern and Stark get into an argument and undeniably their biggest shipper as he shouted for them to get together; he’s been saying what we’ve all been thinking in that Stark and Fern should get together because they’re so perfect for each other (and because he’s tired of being their therapist).

He came on this journey to find Gorilla who happens to be in a village on the other side of Frieren’s destination. That’s the reason why they decide to part. I do like how Sein did struggle at first on whether he should part with the group because he has grown so attached to them. Since his story is about not living with anymore regrets, that’s what he does. He takes a step forward and goes on his way to finding Gorilla. I did like that their departure was brief. There wasn’t any emotional good-byes or anything. All Frieren said was “See you later, Sein.” I just hope this means Sein will return because no one says “See you later” to someone and never see them again. Sein better return with Gorilla. I’d love to see the group’s dynamic with Gorilla in tow; it’d probably be crazy. Now that Sein left, they lack a healer. While Frieren isn’t a healer, she does have knowledge of basic holy magic and herbs. Sein’s presence still lingers as he left a notebook of medicinal herbs just in case they get hurt. Sein is the group’s dad; there’s no denying it. 

The group’s dynamic minus Sein remains the same how it was before he joined, but they do feel a bit closer now. However, the second half of the episode has it where we see Frieren and Stark bonding and Stark learning more about the relationship between Frieren and Fern. Since we rarely see Frieren and Stark without Fern, it was a nice episode to see how they’re like without her. They’re both awkward people, but their interactions are surprisingly mature. From the time Stark spent with both ladies, he knows how they are. The Frieren he knows is a powerful mage, but a lazy and awkward person. To see her rather softer and motherly side towards Fern is a rare sight that even surprises him. He doesn’t find it bad; I think he rather enjoys learning a newer side of Frieren. I think it’s always a good thing to see different sides to people even if you know them for a long time.

I did like that Frieren enjoying learning and bonding with people was because of the time she spent with Himmel, Heiter and Eisen. Getting Sein to go on a journey was because it was what Himmel would’ve done as he did it for her long ago. A lot of her actions after Himmel’s death has been because of her bond with the hero. Himmel has been a driving force for everyone in the party. His kindness is his strongest trait. It’s the reason why Heiter adopted Fern. It’s the reason why Eisen adopted Stark. It’s the reason why Frieren decided to go on a new journey to learn about people; a result of her wanting to learn about people is how she held Fern’s hand when she was sick. Himmel had held her hand when she had a cold; it left a huge impact on her, hence why she does it with Fern. Himmel said that children aren’t the only ones that need emotional support in times of sickness, which was why Frieren goes so far to praise adults with head pats and hold Fern’s hand; she learned how to be emotional support and is using that knowledge. I think this scene was rather impactful because it’s an amalgamation of what Frieren learned throughout her life thanks to Himmel.

I do like how the party has terrible luck when it comes to winter as they got stuck in another blizzard. Fortunately, the area they were in had a small village, so they didn’t have to be stuck in a lone cabin with little resources like how it was back in Episode 11. I also noticed that they prayed before eating their food, so the lessons they learned with Kraft is stuck with them now. I really like seeing small details like this. It shows growth and development from the main party. My favorite parts of the episode was when Frieren and Stark found the icicle cherry blossom tree. That was a beautiful tree. However, the funniest part was when Frieren found the mushroom and Stark freaked out over how large it looks when foraged; the part where she mixes the ingredients in a big cauldron like a witch was hilarious too! Frieren and Stark were so cute in the second part of the episode.

Now that they’re going to reach Äußerst in the next episode. Since the mage exam will focus on Fern and Frieren, what will Stark do when the exam happens? Wait around? I just hope this exam arc will be good. Bringing in a bunch of new characters at once can definitely be a hit or miss since “tournament” arcs usually drag a show. I hope it isn’t the case with Frieren. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[thebreakfastgenie]

Sticky Wicket is a top-tier episode that I feel does not get enough recognition. Analysis under the cut.

All of the character dynamics are on point. There's some really good Hawkeye and Trapper teasing Radar, and it's not even the main focus of the scene. There are the poker games. Hawkeye's conflict with Frank is excellent on its own and then it ends up playing into the main plot beautifully.

Hawkeye taking down Frank is incredibly satisfying, as his his flat refusal to apologize. That's not something you always see, even from him, and Henry doesn't try to force him. Later, Frank is certainly callous, but his argument that Hawkeye can dish it out but can't take it rings true just a little bit. It's different, in that Frank is genuinely a bad surgeon, while Hawkeye is simply tormenting himself for not being perfect, but you can see where it might eat at Hawkeye. And with the discussion of Hawkeye's ego later on, I have to wonder if there was a bit of hubris when he raked Frank over the coals, of the of course that would never happen to me variety. And the payoff at the end where Frank gets a rare humanizing moment with "anyone could have missed that" is so unexpected and really rounds out the whole thing. He acknowledges now that this goes beyond petty personal arguments about skill. Maybe he didn't see the seriousness of this case before, but he does now.

You get to see Trapper looking out for Hawkeye, which is always fun. And the nurses, too. The image of Hawkeye sleeping in post-op is so poignant, as is Trapper gently steering him out of the room when he tries to go back. They squabble during the poker game that Hawkeye sits out of, but after giving him some time to cool off, Trapper goes to check on him and brings him gin.

This episode is one of Henry's finest moments. We finally get to see him as a leader--not a military leader, but a medical one. We see that he really can step up when it's important. When he suggests Hawkeye may be motivated by ego in addition to concern for his patient it cuts me--and Hawkeye--to the bone. The dark side of dedication is something that could so easily be missed, especially with the way Hawkeye is often portrayed. We see him here with a flaw that's connected to one his primary virtues. It's a fantastic bit of characterization. Hawkeye thanking Henry by delivering a backhanded compliment with complete sincerity and Henry answering in kind to indicate he understands... the combination of acting and dialogue in that exchange really speaks for itself.

In this episode we see one of the very first hints of what Hawkeye and Margaret will become. She reaches out to him, which at the same time demonstrates her own competence and dedication to the patients. Margaret was always portrayed as medically competent, but she also spends a lot of time early on defending Frank's skills from Hawkeye and Trapper's criticism, so it's nice to see her written this way. This is one of the first time we see Hawkeye and Margaret as mirrors of each other, when it's revealed she's been worrying over the case too. He's the one who spoils any fledgling alliance or friendship, when he lashes out because of his feelings about the case and pushes her away. That's an important scene, too, because for all the talk of his ego, he's more than open to the possibility that he missed something. Of course, that's ego too--the patient can't just be sick, it must be something he missed--and that turns out to be true.

But then he wakes her up to assist when he finally solves it, and they have a wonderful moment in the O.R. when they share the joy and relief in saving the patient. Margaret's sincere "I'm so glad, Hawkeye" is an early use of his name by her and it hits the mark. He responds with a joke and there's the intimate-then-playful exchange with the towels, and Margaret smiles. Here, too, we see a glimpse of what's yet to come; she understands that he feels the same way she does and this is his way of returning the sentiment.

Of course this is also a fantastic medical episode, for those of us who like it when cases get a little more attention. It also makes me miss Ugly John, because he's fantastic in it. It's an incredibly strong episode, especially for the first season.

[lackadaisicalnereid]

top 5 tv episodes? top 5 songs (currently or Of All Time)??

top 5 tv episodes currently, in no particular order, things I've watched or rewatched recently:

1 sharp objects series finale 2 star trek strange new worlds s02e03 3 community s01e23 4 succession series finale 5 black sails s02e01

top 5 tv episodes ever, in no particular order 1 doctor who s01e09 father's day 2 btvs, s02e22, becoming part 2 3 twin peaks s02e22 beyond life and death 4 hannibal s02e13 mizumono 5 the west wing s02e22 two cathedrals

(also, @sunbelieving I loved both your asks (all four of your asks?) but writing the tv stuff took a lot out of me and I just do not have it in me to do the same for songs, which I think might be even more challenging. I might return to it later, however)

thinky-thoughts hidden below

sharp objects series finale

This is one of those cases where it's taken me years to get around to finally watching something I'm convinced I'll like. My life is like that, it makes no sense. It feels weird to single out one episode of a whole that is so strongly one thing, but the finale is where everything culminates & the first two thirds had my stomach in knots. The ending reveal montage was brilliant and gutting. Amy Adams and Eliza Scanlen are forever good in my books on the strength of the finale.

star trek strange new worlds s02e03

Love La'an and what she gets to do in this episode. It's both classic TOS shenanigans in a way that I thoroughly enjoy & it's also character developing in a way TOS arguably could not have been, as that was not really the tv landscape back in the day. I found her attachment to Kirk both sweet and heartbreaking, and there were some moments along the way I thought were just excellent fun, like Kirk getting them money by playing chess, because Kirk plays chess with his first officer in every universe, and La'an and Kirk choosing the same outfit when they go to the shop and need regular Earth clothing. Adelaide Kane put in a good performance as the guest star, and not only was the plot fun, but it also managed to advance some character arcs, primarily La'an's, but also Pelia's. All good in my book.

community s01e23 modern warfare

I accidentally rewatched a few episodes of Community yesterday and just had such incredible amounts of fun with this and some other episodes. The ability of the cast and crew to work across genres and plotlines and tropes and still have convincing characters and even character arcs, as well as relationship arcs, is still a brilliant accomplishment in my books. Also, early Jeff/Britta, what a wonderful sitcom disaster.

succession series finale

Look, I am not immune to siblings and tragedy. I would really love to say I have something to add to the immeasurable amounts of Succession discourse, but I am not sure I do. The final sibling argument scene wherein Kendall, for a shot at the throne, takes back his confession of murder (manslaughter probably?) which was what jump started his patching-things-up-with-the-siblings and was arguably the moment they were all most there for each other in the whole series? Horrifying, beautiful, stupid, inevitable. Tragic.

black sails s02e01

I have decided to cheer for all thing queer and fun and my friends that I am watching this with are both highly into this as well, so it's not necessarily the episode itself that I enjoyed so much, as it was my experience of watching it, but I treasure it. Also, I cannot believe I am getting attached to John Silver of all fictional characters in all the pirate gin joints, but what can you do, I am weak, someone save me.

top tv episodes of all time, in no particular order

Honestly, there's like an extremely slim chance that this is actually my top 5 episodes of tv ever, but I'm really trying here & will try to explain my thinky thoughts. Having written the list and given it a bit of a thing, there's definitely a theme here of themes being developed & brought to escalation, plotlines being finished, tragic and horrible choices being made, high stakes, and (the least in the case of the doctor who episode) the landscape of the show and of what the show is/means being changed forever by the episode.

doctor who s01e09 father's day

Listen, I know. I hear you. I want to say ANYTHING basically with Amy. Amy is forever my favorite Doctor Who companion. But on my recent Doctor Who re-watch I discovered depths of appreciation I did not know I had for Father's Day. I love Rose's self-centeredness, and Nine's anger and then angered resignation to it, which inevitably ends in honest forgiveness. I always cry over Nine's speech to the young couple.

DOCTOR: How did all this get started? STUART: Outside the Beatbox Club, two in the morning. SARAH: Street corner. I'd lost my purse, didn't have money for a taxi. STUART: I took her home. DOCTOR: Then what? Asked her for a date? SARAH: Wrote his number on the back of my hand. STUART: Never got rid of her since. My dad said. SARAH: I don't know what this is all about, and I know we're not important. DOCTOR: Who said you're not important? I've traveled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two. Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that. Yes. I'll try and save you.

tears

(But also, you know. AMY POND.)

btvs becoming part 2

Listen, I know. There's so much of BTVS that's dear to me, and it's hard to pick any one thing and be happy with your choice. But I recently rewatched the first two seasons and was surprised at how much I felt during Becoming. Even as someone who is not extremely attached to Angel/Buffy, the setup and the tragedy of it is beautiful, imo, & SMG's terrific beyond words. And I am a sucker for high stakes. Also, whatever one thinks of Xander's not-telling-Buffy thing, as someone who's just watched s2 of Warrior Nun, DEAR SISTERS IN CHRIST, do I wish someone working on that show was not afraid of having a character make such a radical move. And not just in a show like Succession, where it does not weigh the same, because everyone's choices are horrible exactly all of the time, but in a show about teenagers, super-powered and not, just honest-to-god trying to prevent apocalypses. Not to mention the whole Angelus arc leading us to Buffy killing him. And the fallout from this arguably follows everyone in the main cast until the end of the show. Also, the No weapons…no friends…no hope. Take all that away and what's left? Me. Gets me every time.

twin peaks s2 finale

Still contains the single most terrifying scene I have seen in my life. Honestly, I don't even want to talk about it. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen in a show that is ostensibly about the struggle between good and evil and then that exact thing happening. It is horrifying in a visceral, existential way. I don't wanna talk about it, alright.

hannibal season 2 finale

Not me getting attached to fictional men, noooooooo. Why. Also, it's starting to look, as I am writing this, that I am way more into tragedy than I would normally say about myself, and I am not sure what to do with that. There's something so beautifully harrowing and horrifying about the obviously inevitable fallout from Will going through with his planned betrayal and then not being able to actually do it. Hannibal making a family for them and then taking it away. Abigail murdered by a father, again. Alana betrayed, Jack betrayed, all of them relevant victims that in their own right that command BOTH Will and Hannibal's love and respect, but in other ways utterly meaningless because of how blind & careless Will, and Hannibal in particular, can be towards people that are not Will and Hannibal. "Falling in love with a god is not a death sentence. The story is only a tragedy if the god loves you back."

the west wing season 2 finale

The tragedy, the elation, the fucking putting of hands into pockets. YOU GET HOYNES. The Brothers In Arms needle drop to stand supreme to all other needle drops.

(also i apparently have a thing for s2 finales whatdoyoudo. I guess it makes sense to some degree, because shows need to take time to become themselves and then afterwards often they go into directions you don't like. season 2, obviously for me, statistically, is when the show has found itself - whatever the show is, it is that the most in season 2, seems to be my judgment.)