#there’s something so unmatched about a well-written plot twist that you still see coming

[spending-life-pretending]

i’m sure sex is great but nothing can match the power i feel when i figure out the plot twist before the characters do

[rainebowkitty]

Listen to Me and You’ll Have Nothing to Fear

It’s finally here, oh my g o d. Yandere bald Riddle Rosehearts x Reader in honor of cult leader @tsuisute and inspired by the sacrifices works of @muraenxdae and @nonsensical-twistedriddles​ 

Also, trigger warning for blood, leech abuse, and overall harmful behavior near the end of this fiasco work of literature (though it starts off surprisingly normal and just slowly descends into madness) 

Riddle Rosehearts was a practical dorm leader, someone who had never been tangled by the distasteful chains of love. He knew he never would be, at least not until it made sense to him. Love would just untidy his schedule and ruin his day. If it wasn’t convenient for him, it didn’t need to exist. 

Other than the color red, he had no relation to the disgusting emotion anyway. Not even when you arrived with your pretty eyes and calming smile. You had just been bothersome, always requiring him to take time out of his busy day to help you knot your disastrous tie or to remind you to study. It became apparent that he was going to have to tutor you whenever you failed the first test of the school year. It was clear you weren’t taking his suggestions, so he’d have to make you listen.

The two of you resided in the Heartslabyul common room with books, papers, and clipboards laying across your laps. Magic wasn’t a hard subject, yet you seemed to struggle exceptionally with it. Perhaps it was because you didn’t have an ounce of arcane energy in your bloodstream, but understanding it wasn’t that hard, was it? Maybe Riddle was just too used to the intricacies of a spell, how empowering the burst of light spiraling from one’s hand felt. It wasn’t difficult, yet you made it so with your confused expression and tiny frown. 

However, as time passed you seemed to understand. Your study sessions with Riddle started coming to a close, each aced test giving you more reason to escape his lecturing clutches. Riddle gratefully let you go with a stern promise to resume your study sessions with him if he caught another of your grades dropping. You hastily nodded, not planning to let so many of his lessons go to waste. Riddle didn’t have to help you, he could’ve forced an unlucky freshman to do it, but instead he had become your personal tutor. While you were thankful, it would be nice to have more free time once again.

Riddle had thought the same thing. He wouldn’t have to dance between drinking afternoon tea to arriving at your dorm for study sessions anymore. Still, how close the two of you had become was something unexpected. Again, you two had began traversing between his dorm and yours, the common room and the rose maze on days you two agreed to bask in the remaining daylight.

Did he miss you? That was unlikely. He had never particularly missed anyone before, never nurtured someone as he taught them the ways of his world while you shared tidbits of yours. He remembered the way you described something once; a giant machine that can transport you places. You said it was similar to a horse, but shinier. He had been intrigued until you revealed it was a car. It’s not like cars didn’t exist in the twisted wonderland, they were just impractical, especially for college students living in a campus easily navigated by foot. 

With annoying descriptions about something as simple as a car, why did he want to make excuses to see you? Why was it your side he’d stick to whenever his short height made it impossible to find Trey and Cater in the cafeteria? But most importantly, why did blood rush to his face at the sight of your smile or the brush of your hand against his as you both reached for a pencil? 

Actually, scratch that. Why did he feel the ugly green seeds of jealousy blooming in his chest whenever he witnessed you studying with none other than the Leech twins? It made sense to have a disliking towards Floyd seeing as that weirdo consistently teased Riddle with the degrading nickname of goldfish, but what had Jade ever done to the piping redhead?  

Perhaps it was the slippery eel qualities he shared with Floyd mixed with his overly mild personality. His kindness was truly unmatched, especially to his brother who he let get by with anything. The thought made Riddle sick, just as Floyd did now whilst poking you, breaking your focus. You were trying to learn something you didn’t know, and even if you went to the Leech twins over him, Riddle wasn’t going to easily accept Floyd’s attempts to pester you as you studied. 

He fumed towards the three of you, his heeled shoes annoyingly unable to make their normal satisfying clomping sounds on the carpeted library floor.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He hissed primarily at Floyd. Only when he noticed your clear alarm did he realize he sounded as if he was punishing you as well. He wanted to take back his harsh gaze, but something deep within told him just to press harder. Guaranteed results wouldn’t come from being merciful, even if that path might result in your gratified smile. 

“Helping,” Jade bowed his head a little as he responded, as if that made him any more innocent for dragging his disruptive brother along. 

“Maybe you are, but Floyd is just being a distraction,” Riddle huffed, foot tapping the carpet with an impatient, unsteady rhythm. “If he won’t leave, I’ll take over this study session myself.” 

“Very well,” Jade rose from his seat. “Come on, Floyd. The Heartslabyul dorm leader would rather us be elsewhere.”

“But I wanted to poke the goldfish,” Floyd pouted as Jade dragged him off. At least one of them had a brain enough not to bother a frustrated Riddle Rosehearts. 

“What was that about?” Riddle whispered harshly. “If you needed help, you know I’d assist you. Why did you go to them?” 

“I’m having trouble grasping the geology of this world,” you let the words helplessly tumble from your lips as your eyes pleaded for forgiveness. “Jade is the founder of the Mountain Loving Club. I thought he’d know better.” 

Your tango with words became too much for you, allowing you to slip up. You had said someone was better at something than Riddle. While you weren’t sure the boy was that narcissistic, his face definitely showed his offense at your claim. 

“I’ve studied any subject you can imagine for years,” he glared as his face grew red with rage. “Just because I’m not wasting my time in the Mountain Loving Club doesn’t mean I’m not well versed in my geology. How dare you assume otherwise.”

You had heard him yell, maybe even scream at disobeying first years before. Why did a shiver go down your spine whenever he whispered? He wasn’t even in your ear, but perhaps he was in your head. You almost felt helpless at the thought, but it’s not like he could read minds. You were safe, even as his tense form seemed so shaken with rage that the paper fibers of your textbooks thinned and paled under his pressing fingers. The remnants of a thank you danced on your lips as the tutoring session came to a close, but he had already turned on his heel and left by the time the first word left your mouth. 

He was furious, that much was certain. How much so would remain a mystery until you uncovered the truth.

~

Three days had passed since you last saw the boy, but he had certainly seen you. He watched the precise way you sipped your tea, the way he had taught you to do so. He noticed and kept track of every person you had spoken to. Each place you had been, so had he, only little red clumps of hair giving away that he was even present.

He was obsessed with you, but not so much the way you continued on as if he didn’t exist. On one hand he couldn’t understand the ongoing anger towards you, towards Floyd and Jade, towards the books you read and notes you took without him there. It was maddening, unexpected, and most importantly, inconvenient. So he began plotting ways to make it convenient, the red hairs on his head the worthy sacrifices made for a thorough plan of correction. 

It wasn’t more than two days later that a note was slipped under your dormitory door. You recognized the neat cursive as Riddle’s. It had only been marked time and time again on your schoolwork as he added notes and criticisms meant to improve you as a student. 

The letter looked more rushed than what was to be expected of Riddle. It also seemed to be written in red ink, something you didn’t know the boy to have. He preferred the regular black ink of the magic casting pen he kept secure in his uniform shirt pocket, so why the sudden change? Whatever it was, it only made the frantic looping of his handwriting seem more urgent. Preparing yourself for the worst, you rushed to his dorm room with purpose in your step. 

Upon arriving, you knocked knowing he wouldn’t appreciate you barging into his room. Even in crisis, you were smart enough to know Riddle appreciated his privacy. 

“Come in,” you heard him call, his tone much calmer from the last time you heard it five days ago. 

You opened the door slowly, your eyes drinking in the sight of the room as you searched for his short figure. He was nowhere to be found, nowhere at all even as the door slammed shut behind you with a swell of magic.

You swallowed down your panic, knowing it was just proper etiquette to close the door after a guest’s arrival. You then ventured to the center of the room, eyes scanning your surroundings as you notice an abnormally large red puddle leaking from behind the dorm leader’s bed. You cautiously investigate, uncovering the piled bodies of the Leech twins, blood pooling from their heads like the oceans they used to swim in. 

You wanted to scream, feeling the tense clumping of your vocal cords before a hand was clapped to your mouth, preventing you from making a sound at all. 

“You’re late,” Riddle’s voice creeped into the air, his breath raising the hairs on your neck as he remained close to you. 

“Didn’t you read what time you were supposed to be here in the letter?” His head tilted as he asked the question, his curiosity veiling all the rage in his system. “I wanted you to arrive before Jade, well, you saw what happened to him.” 

You indeed saw what happened to him as Riddle’s tight hold on you forced you to face the bodies. Your eyes squeezed shut, but Riddle had moved in front of you now. You were already breaking one of his rules by trying to block him out of your sight. 

“Open your eyes,” he commanded, his hands still harshly gripping your shoulders. 

One eye at a time, you made yourself gaze upon him. Only it didn’t look like him at all. Staring you in the face wasn’t the Riddle Rosehearts you’d come to know, but a stylish young man going bald minus two particular strands of royally red hair; the pieces sitting in the shape of a heart at the center of his forehead, only complete with his signature crown.

“Riddle,” you tried speaking but he put a finger to your lips. 

“You clearly don’t know what’s best for you if you enlist these eels as your tutors,” Riddle kicked Floyd’s unresponsive face with his heeled shoe. “So from now on you listen to me and only me. Got it?” 

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Riddle had killed two people for you? He had broken the very real laws enforced by the proper authorities just to tell you you were wrong? But most importantly, had the stress of it all really gone to his gorgeous, crimson hair? 

“I said,” suddenly he had flipped you around, pushing you into the nearest wall beside the corpses of the Leech twins. “Got it?”

You reluctantly nodded as you tried to swallow your fear. It appeared this was it for you. Your life would consist of his rules and games with hell to pay if you failed to obey. 

“But don’t fret,” he caressed your cheek, a sudden gentleness overcoming him. “By my hand, you’ll be perfect in no time. Doesn’t that sound divine?” 

He noticed your lips tremble in fear as you hummed in response. “Mhm,” you had hesitantly agreed before his lips met yours. With that one consoling, ensuring kiss went the final sprigs of Riddle’s hair, cast into the drying pool of leech blood along with his remaining sanity. 

If you happened to enjoy this (somehow) then feel free to suggest more silly (or serious) twst content like this! If you want more bald yandere stories (who wouldn’t) then check out the people that inspired me and their Malleus, Vil, and Jamil versions of this theme! They’re seriously awesome!

@tsuisute​ (for Malleus) @muraenxdae​ (for Vil) and @nonsensical-twistedriddles​ (for Jamil) <3

Thanks and come again, folks! 

[felassanis]

Everything I love about Assassin’s Creed

1. Ezio da la la la

2. If you idle for long enough in Odyssey Ikaros comes and lands on Alexios’s/Kassandra’s arm and then alexios/Kassandra will greet him.

3. Edward’s outfit is by far my favourite Assassin robe. It looks so fooking cool.

4. Alkibiades

5. The first mission in Assassin’s Creed III. Finding the temple and it coming alive with all the lights and the humming was so fucking cool and the theatre with Haytham was such a good way to start the game, I loved the environment that went with the theatre and the parkour was really good too, everything was good even though I had no idea why we were there in the first place lol.

6. SHAUN HASTINGS

7. Edward’s tattoos being the only reason why I go whaling in AC:Black flag

8. The dynamic between Jacob and Evie, I’ve always wanted a twin duo in a game and Jacob and Evie Frye were awesome and y’all keep sleeping on them.

9. The different colour schemes in Assassin’s Creed 2 for the different cities gave the locations their own feel and vibe and it differentiated them from each other while also ensuring that the landscapes were utterly gorgeous. For example, Venice had cooler colours, very blue and silver while Florence was warmer, with more orange and brown thrown into the mix. It really gave those maps their own identity and it was great.

10. All of Lineage. all of it, it was flipping fantastic and I know it’s not a game but it was brilliant and the other Assassin’s Creed movie will never top it despite Michael Fasbender being in it.

11. That cutscene in Black Flag where Blackbeard lights his beard on fire, I love that historical accuracy because it was very likely true and it’s so SO bad-fucking-ass

12. Alkibiades

13. How quickly I fell in love with Frederico Auditore despite the fella only having about 5 lines.

14. Also just how quickly I came to love the Auditore family, that was how well written they were, that I fell in love after 30 minutes with them. 

15. LEONARDO DA VINCI

16. Desmond Miles’s snark.

17. ‘Hey whatta matta with you altair,’

18. SHAUN HASTINGS

19. How buffy Kassandra is

20. The hookblade was actually amazing in Revelations and I’m in full support that it shouldbe brought back. The noise it made was also oddly satisfying too?

21. The Glyphs in AC2 were spooky and ominous and I refused to do the last mission until I had found all of them and uncovered the Truth. Because that entire side quest was full of anticipation and the creepy vibe the Glyphs gave off and how the footage of Adam and Eve was cut up and glitchy was just really interesting and it peaked with a climax.

22. LEONARDO DA VINCI

23. The golden beads in Alexios’s hair.

24. And Alexios just being an overall gorgeous human being who’s face was chiselled by the gods.

25. The flying machine mission in AC2 while really aggravating if you didn’t do it the first time was also really fun and getting to see Leonardo all giddy and happy made it worth it.

26. I don’t know if it’s just me? but Connor’s hair? like I know for a fact that I like men with long hair but something about his hair and the feather intertwined into it was just really appealing? and while I know why Connor shaved his hair I couldn’t help but screech when he did lmao but that’s because it’s obviously not my tradition and it’s abnormal to me. pfft

27. Revelations is one of the best AC games and I’ll fight anyone on this. It was phenomenal given how it finally concluded Ezio’s story (and remember Ezio was the face of the franchise for years and he was fan favourite and still is so there were some pressure and expectations) and how it also concluded Altair’s story.

28. Altair wasn’t that interesting in the original game but Revelations added depth and layers to his characters and made him way more intriguing. The game also gave this character important significance to the lore and I think that’s the perfect way to honour the guy who started it all. As much as we love Ezio, Altair came before and without him, Assassin’s Creed wouldn’t quite be the way it was today. (although it’s up to you if that’s a bad thing or not lmao)

29. And seeing Ezio old and matured, becoming this wise legend of a man was really cool and getting to play as him in his final journey was both heartbreaking but satisfactory.

30. I have to give a massive applause to Ubisoft for making Leonardo gay as well in Brotherhood prominently. I don’t think it was ever proven historically if he was? but it was rumoured? and yet Ubisoft went and made it canon giving that representation while also having Ezio outright say he’s okay with Leonardo dating men?! Like, in that time period if you were gay you could go to prison and the general view of homosexuality was that of disgust and yet Ezio is just here supporting his best friend? hell yes.

31. ALKIBIADES

32. I have certain feelings with Unity, but I won’t lie that the parkour was spot on in that game.

33. Gideon Emery....just Gideon Emery as Reginald Birch. The character’s a massive prick but god...that voice.

34. Connor mentioning his grandfather Edward as he’s sailing the Aquila.

35. Getting to see the wreck of the Jackdaw in Assassin’s Creed Freedom Cry was gut-wrenching.

36. Finally getting to pet animals in ACIII.

37. Finally getting to feed pigs in a video game ^^

38. SHAUN HASTINGS

39. OKay, I like Shaun because the guy is really entertaining and he’s British like me and I need to see this fucker in future games again...because after Syndicate he just vanishes and we got...Fucking Layla ugh.

40. The Naval combat in Black Flag is unmatched, fighting other ships never felt like a chore and it was fun and thrilling and the rewards felt deserving. And the feeling of taking down your first Man’o War is RIVETING.

41. Rebecca calling the Animus ‘Baby’

42. She’s another character I want to see come back. And she and Shaun better come back and be alive.

43. Lucy being a Templar was a plot twist I never saw coming but I was all for that angst especially when it seemed like they were setting up what I thought was the inevitable Desmond x Lucy romance. But I guessed wrong.

44. Yusuf Tazim being the joy and light of Revelations. fuck you Ubisoft

45. Ezio’s family theme song is the most iconic video game songs ever.

46. The introduction of Alkibiades in Odyssey, what a great way to introduce a character. like seriously, I fell in love with that fucker the moment he started speaking and felt up Kassandra’s arms while being half naked and wasted.

47. Bayek being a breath of fresh air in wonderfully written complex characters whose story was powerful and tragic. He needs a sequel.

48. Assassins Creed Brotherhood’s trailer being iconic.

49. When returning to Florence to retrieve the apple and you bring Ezio back to his old home only to see the ghosts of his entire family waiting for him. I was gobsmacked when that happened and it’s such a beautiful detail.

50. Mary Read/James Kidd being one of the best characters in Black Flag and leader in the ‘did not deserve it’ club. Every minute of her was flipping terrific and her significance in Edward’s story as one of the driving points that turned him into a better man was great.

51. I cried at the end of Black Flag.

52. The little text about Shaun sobbing when you look at the database on Desmond the dog in Syndicate.

53. The lip scar being shared between Desmond, Ezio and Altair was a cool detail.

54. The interchangeable cloaks in ACII.

55. Henry Green was so soft, kind and lovely and I honestly adore him.

56. Cane swords in Syndicate WERE AWESOME

57. NO fall damage in Odyssey. Keep this feature I don’t care how impossible it is for me to survive a jump off of a giant statue of a naked god it’s cool and I want it for every other game about to be released.

58. If you walk through grass in Origins Bayek sticks his hand out like that scene in Gladiator.

59. The scene in ACII Where Ezio uncovers his father’s robes from the chest and holds it up, It’s an incredible scene and the music fits so well with it and if you’ve watched Lineage it’s all the more amazing.

60. Rosa being pretty and terrifying in ACII.

61. The Bleeding effect being that other thing in lore that is SO BLOODY INTRIGUING and I wish it was explored a bit more. Can you actually imagine having the bleeding effect? where you can’t tell the past and the present apart? where you see ghosts from the past and hear voices no one else hears? jesus,..

62. getting answers about Clay/Subject 16. Ever since he left that writing in the wall with his own blood I was hooked on his story and thank god we got answers and a face to the legendary name. I wouldn’t mind more of him though.

63. I’ve always been fascinated with Native Americans and finally getting to explore them a bit more in ACIII proved to be interesting and I hope it was satisfactory representation for Native Americans.

64. finally getting to play in the present day in assassin’s creed brotherhood and 3, like actually getting to run around and explore as Desmond.

(I did a post like this on my old blog and I’ve rewrote them on here but I also got some new things, I just like having a post like this on my blog and I like seeing people who also agree with these brilliant features in this franchise, you can pretty much tell which two games are my favourite lol, Black Flag and 2 will always have a special place in my heart,)

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

2016 Fanfiction Round-Up

Copied this fanfic round-up from @veliseraptor​ because I’m always a sucker for this kind of thing and I pretty much always do some kind of fic retrospective. Also I’m only doing this on AO3, not counting FFN.

Total Year-Long Wordcount: The unfortunate thing about my inability to finish stuff in a reasonable time frame means that there’s probably a big difference between how much I wrote last year and how much I actually posted. On the other hand, something like half of “the kindness of strangers” was written prior to this year and I’m still counting everything I posted, so whatever. Adding it all up, I posted 67,504 words on AO3 (minus “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor”), but my dubiously accurate 2016 document contains 97,000 words, so...my actual wordcount for the year is probably around 85,000.

This year I wrote and posted: 16 fics, of which 3 have more than one chapter, and 53 new “adventures of tiny Loki and Thor” posts 

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I didn’t set a word-count goal of any kind, so...I don’t know? I’d say I did okay, although now that I’m looking at it, I feel like I should have finished/posted even more short fics than I did, which is...not a super helpful way to look at things.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Maybe the “I got pissed about Hydra Cap” one, considering I sure didn’t see that asinine “twist” coming. I also didn’t really expect I’d write so many Avengers Academy fics, although maybe I should have. Of course, those are still both Marvel. Probably the only really out-there fic was flailing in the deep, for @markiplier‘s Slime Rancher and Subnautica videos. 

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Overall, I think I’d have to say under bright stars burning--I struggled a lot with that one too, partly because it was so different from anything I’d written before (taking place over a long period of time, with two characters gradually developing a relationship, and a somewhat more meandering plot than normal because of that; plus most of it was set in the past, requiring a lot more research than usual), and I spent a lot of the writing process sure I was producing absolute garbage, but I ended up being really satisfied with it. I think it has a good arc, with vignettes that work well individually, and based on the comments, I think I did a good job writing Steve’s voice, using gradually maturing word/style choices for different life stages, and showing how he and Loki fit well together. I don’t know, I just like it a lot. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? Taking the plunge and committing to one of my long-term WIPs (the kindness of strangers) for Marvel Big Bang, I suppose. I learned, uh, that trying to wrestle a story I wrote in disconnected chunks over 2+ years is agonizing but more or less possible? 

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: Not counting the adventures of tiny Loki and Thor, my fic with the most kudos was the state of my head (228), followed by “under bright stars burning” (178), Metal Gear Widow (137), and “the kindness of strangers” (131). By comments, it’s pretty much the same but in a different order: “the kindness of strangers” (58 comment threads), “under bright stars burning” (32), and “the state of my head” (16). If you go by percentage of kudos to hits, it’s “the state of my head” (13%), “the kindness of strangers” (12%), I’m your national anthem (12%), and “under bright stars burning” (10%). Also I’m sure that’s way more than anyone wanted to know. 

Most fun story to write: Maybe “the state of my head”; I got inspired by a prompt, it all came together quickly, and I knocked it out in a weekend. Writing from Tony’s POV was fun, too. “flailing in the deep” was another one where I got to be funny.

Story with the single sexiest moment: Literally the only semi-explicit sex scene (by which I mean, I didn’t fade to black but I also didn’t describe specific body parts) I’ve ever written was for let your colors bleed and blend with mine (Crimson Peak, Thomas/Edith) and that was right at the end of 2015 so it doesn’t quite count. Otherwise there’s a kissing scene in “under bright stars burning” but it’s...not very sexy...

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  uhhhhh. well, “the kindness of strangers” probably has the most/nastiest Loki whump I’ve posted on AO3 thus far, to the point that I think a few readers were surprised, so I suppose there’s that??

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: I hadn’t really written Steve before “under bright stars burning” and that ended up being a reasonably long fic all from his POV, at different points throughout his life, so writing that one definitely gave me a better sense of him as a character. 

Hardest story to write: Gonna have to go with “the kindness of strangers,” which should be obvious to anyone who noticed me screaming about Marvel Big Bang for the last several months. 

Biggest Disappointment: I’m not great with deadlines, as everyone probably knows, so pretty much every time I sign up for anything with a deadline, I end up causing myself a lot of stress and just barely squeaking in under the wire, often with less of a story than I originally planned, or actually a little bit after the deadline in one way or another. I’ve often been especially bad about this with Yuletide, posting an unfinished placeholder on the deadline and then getting it actually done before reveals; way back in 2011, I never did get it done and they had to send it out for a pinch hit the night before reveals, and I still feel bad about that (and keep intending to go back to the fic I was trying to write). This year I got caught doing it again and although I did end up posting a complete story, I’m definitely not happy with it because it’s like...one third of the story I meant to write. I still intend to finish it, but the fact that I didn’t is frustrating. 

Biggest Surprise: Nothing comes to mind.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I’ve written exactly two Marvel-related fics that aren’t about Loki, and they’re both about Steve, one where he’s progressive and mad at the whole world, and another where Avengers Academy Steve realizes he’s on the aro/ace spectrum. That probably says something.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

At this point, Tony is running almost entirely on adrenaline and good old-fashioned Stark bravado (patent pending), so he’s pretty much prepared for things to go completely to shit at any second. The particular variety of shit remains to be seen, but honestly, shit is shit and he’s mostly just banking on JARVIS deploying the new suit before Loki switches from talking to shooting. (the state of my head)

“What the fuck is this?” (I’m your national anthem)

Dorian was worried about the Inquisitor. This was hardly unusual, to be fair; in fact it was so far from being a new state of affairs that when Dorian wondered briefly what it would be like to live without at least a vague background worry for Elden, he came up blank. (another year)

For as long as Gamora has known him, Thanos has been a collector, entirely unmatched. He has been so for much longer than that, in fact; Gamora herself and all her siblings are proof. (the kindness of strangers)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

“I wouldn’t say nervous,” he hedges. Nervously. (the weight of it all)

“I’ve never stood for any of that shit, and I’m sure as hell not going to let anybody pretend Captain America stands for it either. That’s not—I won’t give more power to that kind of hatefulness. If people want to be bigots, fine, that’s on them, but they do not get to use this symbol to spread and validate their hate.” (I’m your national anthem)

There’s about five seconds of resounding silence, during which Loki shivers and barely seems to be breathing and Tony keeps rubbing his shoulder because apparently this is his life now, and then Barton says, “What the fuck, Stark?” (the state of my head)

Loki growls under his breath and makes a sharp gesture that sends another robot flying. “End program,” he snaps, and glowers at Natasha again. “Did you have a point, or did you simply wish to drag me back to the infatuated horde slavering for my brother’s return?” Natasha tilts her head. Whatever else you could say about Loki (and there’s a lot), he sure has a fancier vocabulary than most people she knows. (getting the gang together)

He is a being of countless interwoven myths and stories, the precise intersection of which seems to shift every time he tries to examine it, and eventually he stops trying, because he is no longer sure that it is relevant to what he is doing here. One thing, in all this, is constant: always, he is Loki, and he knows more than almost anyone that identity is malleable, that facts and truth are not always perfectly interchangeable. (we could be heroes)

“I see,” Loki says. He does, actually; he has studied and used enough magic to know that some laws of reality simply are, immutable no matter the power of the one seeking to change them. This knowledge does nothing to make him feel any less weary, and for a moment he thinks the weight of all this really will crush him, that he lacks the strength to do anything but sink into the dust of this barren realm and sleep there forever. (in death’s other kingdom)

haha so it turns out I liked a bunch of lines in this year’s long fics so I’m just gonna...list those separately at the bottom...

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated: 

"under bright stars burning,” Steve and Loki hanging out on Coney Island, especially the bit where they’re sitting on the boardwalk railing watching the beach with the Wonder Wheel behind them

ditto, the kissing scene :3

anything?? those are the only two scenes that really come to mind in a “oh man I wish someone would draw this, it would be super cute” way, but 1) “the kindness of strangers” already has a bunch of awesome art from @neurovicky, which is amazing, and 2) I am thrilled with literally any fanart of my fics

Fic-writing goals for 2017:

continue writing at least a little bit every day

continue to post at least one new short fic to AO3 each month (last year I said “even if it’s a new ‘adventures of tiny Loki and Thor’ or ‘Custom figures’ chapter” but I managed even without that, I think, barely, so I should be able to do it again

continue to try focusing on fucking finishing some of the many, many, many fics languishing on my WIP list, especially the shorter ones that I really should have written and posted months or even years ago

more specific fic goals:

finish “the kindness of strangers” part III

finish the rest of my Yuletide fic haha whoops

New Year’s Resolution fic because my actual Yuletide fic was late, more whoops

that damn Stoki Week fic I started back in June

“Avengers Academy: Friendship Is Magic”

finish the rest of always gold to me

shit, I should get back to winter in our bones

and work on a followup to “under bright stars burning”

I don’t knowwww there are so many others

Favorite lines from “under bright stars burning” because sure why not, please note these are all very spoilery if you want to read the fic and haven’t:

“You would [like Thor],” Loki says, like it’s a law of the universe. “Thor is…bright, and boisterous, and everyone loves him, even when they are displeased with him. He is impossible to ignore. And I am…not him.”

He darts a glance toward Steve and then away, studying the shoreline, and Steve is suddenly struck by how beautiful Loki is. He’s noticed before, but not quite like this, with the breeze ruffling Loki’s hair and the sun highlighting those fine, sharp features Steve is always itching to draw. He doesn’t just want to draw Loki now, though; mostly he’s wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

Steve sighs, shoulders slumping, and gives up on the attempt at a smile. “It’s my mom. She…working in the TB ward finally caught up to her.” He swallows hard around the lump in his throat, which seems to be growing sharp points with every word. “The funeral was today.”

Loki gives him a look that somehow combines concern with profound skepticism.

Steve nods, his gut twisting uneasily as more threads of the nightmare come into focus, connect, begin to compose a larger picture. The golden prince in the red cape, blinding and bright, with a shadow no one ever notices. Cheers and thunderous applause (but not for the shadow, never for the shadow). His hand turning blue and ridged in the monster’s grip, and horror freezing the breath in his lungs more effectively than the glacial cold. A glowing blue box radiates cold and his hands turn blue as he touches it monster monster monster and revulsion is so thick in his throat he thinks he’ll choke on it. Rage and terror, rage and terror, no more than another stolen relic, claimed to love me, tell me tell me tell me, never wanted never loved never real and fear again. A corona of golden light. A spear and a throne and plans plans plans he will do it he will show them he is right, is worthy (is nothing but the monster parents tell their children about at night)—

Desert. Blood on the sand. A bridge. Battle, galaxies hanging suspended overhead. An explosion that sends him flying, his grip on the spear the only thing holding him above the abyss, but he has no reason to hold on and so he lets go and falls falls falls—

Bucky falls and Steve can’t catch him. Schmidt takes off with the Tesseract and Steve can’t stop him. Instead he sits at the Valkyrie’s controls and makes a date with Peggy that they both know he won’t make and tries not to think that even as Captain America, all he can do is fail the people he cares about, over and over again. Tries, fruitlessly, not to spend his last moments wishing he had more time with any of them, and then he sends the Valkyrie into the water.

And then Loki moves, quick as thought, already inside Steve’s guard, and Steve has no time or space to block him (and barely the space of a breath for a rush of horrified betrayal) before the tip of his scepter is pressed to Steve’s heart. Everything else disappears in a blaze of consuming blue light.

He is drowning in pain and anger, and then (no, Loki) despair overwhelms everything else, and he opens his hand, and he falls.

Under other circumstances, Loki thinks he might be impressed with his captors’ efficiency. They are expending no apparent effort and still grinding him down, and he does not want to think what it means, that this all must be in preparation for something—or that perhaps it is not, and he truly does not know which thought is worse.

He knows Thanos is too powerful. To think otherwise comes near to blasphemy.

It is fitting, he supposes, that the monster should destroy everything that was once good in its life, even this. Steve does not deserve this, does not deserve to suffer for unknowingly befriending a monster and finding himself inevitably drawn into the monster’s fate, but he will, and Loki can almost feel his spine bending under the weight of his own despair.

Favorite lines from “the kindness of strangers” because ditto, and ditto on spoilers:

This is truth: Thanos is patient like Death is patient, with the calm surety that the universe will bow to his will in the end no matter how long it takes.

Gamora was never nice except when it suited her, even before; was already hard, and fierce in her defense of anything she considered hers, and so once Thanos had broken and remade her, she had something left of herself, harder even than the shell he made her create.

She is a daughter of Thanos, by necessity and unyielding determination (and by something she refuses to call desperation, even in her own mind), but she is also the last surviving member of the Zehoberei race. This second identity is not one she considers often; at best it is not useful to the life she leads now, and at worst it is dangerous, but it still exists, always, alongside anything else Thanos might make of her—a kind of sacred responsibility, almost, even if she has little time or patience for religion or superstition. And the last survivor of the Zehoberei, in the name of all the unknown dead that she alone carries, burns with quiet rage at the idea of Thanos gaining the power to wipe out another race.

“I would take you for a Valkyrie,” he says, quiet and hoarse, “but if that were so you would not come to me, for I cannot succeed even at dying and I know Valhalla is barred to me.”

Yes, she is afraid of Thanos, afraid down to her marrow, and any thinking being should be as well, and perhaps everything else she tells herself—everything else she holds close as evidence that she does not belong to him—is merely an excuse for her own cowardice.

But the truth that matters the most in this case is simple: her reasons have not changed, and they far outweigh her pity for Loki (and her desire to prove to herself that she is not a coward). Whether they are still good reasons or merely excuses to salve what remains of her conscience is immaterial.

This is another truth: Gamora does not like to think in terms of what she can and cannot do. It is too much like helplessness, to look too long at the choices she is denied, and she learned a long time ago that helplessness is a short step away from death or worse. Instead she assesses situations and finds choices to make, and then she chooses, and she does not regret or look back—even when the choices are impossible or effectively meaningless. There is always, always a choice of some kind to be made, and to choose is to regain some measure of control over the situation, no matter how small. If she chooses, she cannot be forced one way or the other, and therefore she is not helpless.

“Soon,” Thanos tells her, his expression satisfied, and something unpleasant curls in Gamora’s stomach, the same mingling of fear and relief she feels whenever Thanos is pleased.

The titan smiles down at him, something both paternal and predatory in his gaze.

Slowly the blankness in his expression is replaced by something just as sharp and feral as the first time Gamora laid eyes on him, only now it is more wary, more focused, both more and less desperate. ... Every now and then, Thanos tells Loki that he is pleased with his progress, and Loki smiles to hear it, and his smile is like a brittle blade.

And for a long moment that freezes the blood in her veins like shards of ice, all she can think is I have failed. She has not done enough, and Terra is going to fall like her world did so long ago, all because she was so determined to wait for the right moment.

“It’s really not that complicated,” Romanoff says, and then: “I’ve got red in my ledger. I want to wipe it out.” There is…a cadence to it, something he knows, not the words but the sense of…something practiced, repeated, held close…

“Because look, he busted up a town because of a fight with his brother, singlehandedly destroyed a SHIELD installation, took out a guy’s eyeball, and threatened a freaking Holocaust survivor. Even if he doesn’t want to be this Thanos’s tool, he’s still a tool in general.”

“Gentlemen,” Fury snaps, “if you’re going to have a pissing contest, do it on your own time. I’m not asking you to like each other or the God of Crazy, I’m asking if you’ll put on your big boy pants for five seconds, do what’s necessary, and work together.”