#there’s so much to be said about gods and their manipulation of the agency of mortals and of abuses of power and the humanity of it all

[jq37]

#it feels like this was too much of a call back to the “roots”#ie. the first two fh seasons and maybe tuc (vibes-wise)#when d20 as a comedy dnd show has developed out past that purely chaotic comedy energy I think#this felt like the least thematically coherent season#even if the mechanics and battles were top-notch#the rat grinders felt like such a missed opportunity#yeah the porter reveal was fun and I was raised by asian dramas on a tiny island country where everyone *is* connected#so I have no problem with the everyone is connected to the mystery thing#but making kipperlily & co even the slightest bit more active participants in what was happening#would have made it less stale maybe?#someone suggested that kipperlily was gonna backstab porter to get revenge for lucy#wish ankarna had been a bit more vengeful a la asmodeus in calamity when they finally interact with her#the bobby dawn and church of sol involvement??? what happened there#also would have been nice to have had a mix of unstructured NPC interactions and the downtime mechanic (@berokyandi's tags--truncated)

I think Kipperlilly turning on Porter would have been a really great twist too. Either as revenge for Lucy or because she'd been playing him the whole time or whatever. She's just overall a more interesting antagonist than Porter is who is only really a villain for the bit. Which, listen, I of course respect doing things for an elaborate bit, but ideally the bit doesn't mess with your thematic integrity.

And, honestly, while I'd generally prefer there be themes and stuff in my media, there doesn't always have to be. I recently listened to Hot Boy Summer on Naddpod and that's just bits the whole way through and I loved it. But it was obvious that that was the intention. JY like...kinda dabbled with themes but the narrative never followed through on any of them so it all felt kind of half baked in that regard. The story kind of had the cadence of being About Something but it never actually came together. Like, it's weird to have the Rat Grinders be both a joke about XP leveling AND a serious point about rage. To an extent, you have to pick a lane or things are muddled. The XP leveling thing works great if they're supposed to be bit villains and the rage thing is good if you wanna delve in that. But they were kind of stuck between both of those the whole time (which is, I suspect, what led to a lot of the discourse this season).

The Church of Sol being involved to me is kind of like the Devil's Honey thing where it's like, this is an interesting idea that we do not have any time to explore so maybe let's explore this Bobby Dawn/Sandra Lynn thing later (along with everything else connected to the church). And like, this partially comes down to player choice and what they chose to look into but if I knew I was making the season where I was having my players heavily manage their time, I wouldn't include so much super important and at the same time super potentially missable content. Like, missing the Loam Farm trial isn't as big of a deal because those are new NPCs but missing out on info about Sandra Lynn's past and shadiness in Kristen's ex-church feels like a bigger loss lore-wise.

Agree on downtime. There also could have been more NPC interaction during downtime. I mentioned this earlier but like, why not have Mary Ann show up when Fabian is rolling for Owlbears or Oisin show up when Adaine is rolling Academics? There was a way to work those moments in more. And we even had stuff kind of like that happen like when Aelwyn showed up while Adaine was working and had lunch with her. I dunno why we didn't get more stuff like that with other characters. Never going to complain about more Aelwyn but stuff like that would have been even more helpful to establish the new characters that the season was focused on. Even if they were fully not to be taken seriously, interacting with them more would make it more clear that they were bit villains and not characters to invest in, which would be great for narrative clarity.

And the Ankarna thing really is my biggest narrative sticking point for the season. It's just so so so close to the Cass storyline. I don't understand why we'd do it again. It's not far enough back that it feels like a callback. It just feels like a rerun. We JUST did it. And she started out so aggro with Kristen but then she got so chill so so fast in later interactions in the season even though her domain is rage. Not doubt and mystery. Rage! It feels like that was way too easy! Other choices this season even if I would have done something different, I get why the choice was made. This one I really don't get at all.

FH Junior Year Post-Season Thoughts

With another season of Fantasy High in the books and my recaps all finished, I wanted to do an overview of my thoughts on the season as a whole. Even though I feel generally positive about my experience with the season, there are a few things I think maybe could have been done differently narratively or mechanically. This isn't to criticize the way the season went down or to backseat DM/Play. More my combined ten years of college for textual analysis and storytelling bleeding through, haha. 

I first want to start with the things I thought worked really well.

Fantasy High has "High" right in its title but, in past seasons (and especially Sophomore Year), not as much time as you'd think was spent actually at school and even if it was spent at school, there wasn't much time spent in class or engaging with the realities of being a student. This season really dug into the academic consequences of skipping your classes all the time and the realities of needing to do a ton of extra stuff to try for a scholarship and I think that was a refreshing thing to highlight for a change. Being more scared at flunking out than the dragon that's trying to eat you feels very emotionally resonant. Real "High School Is Killing Me" vibes for anyone who's a fan of NPMD. 

Even though Fantasy High is a show that has some deep emotional beats and strong character arcs, it's first and foremost a comedy show. From the jump, everyone was generating bit after bit that had me cracking up as usual. "Little girly dog collar" is one of the funniest combinations of words I can think of. I think it was Siobhan who said that this was the goofy season and, having seen it, I'd have to agree with her. It never failed to make me laugh and it was always a highlight of my week.  The cast just has great table chemistry that I love to watch no matter what they're doing. 

Watching some of these high level combat encounters is as close as I'll get to understanding people watching sports. Even though combat is generally my least fave part of D&D, I think the cast really killed it this season with how cleverly they played and Brennan came up with some really great combat encounters. Special shout outs to Baron's Game and The Last Stand for their unique mechanics.  

This is going to be one that's on the other list as well because my feelings are mixed, but I genuinely do like the downtime mechanic and how it forces hard choices. I think it's an interesting way to connect a mechanic to the story and cultivate stressful atmosphere for the season.

I have problems with the execution but I love the Rat Grinders in concept. I think as early as season 1 I was hoping that we'd meet a party that was like the Bizarro Bad Kids and the idea of a party that's farming XP instead of going on crazy adventures is a strong concept. Likewise, I think a character that's jealous because of your "cool" (read: tragic) backstory is also a fun trait for an unhinged antagonist in this kind of setting.

This is me absolutely showing my bias but I adored the Abernant Sisters content this season. I dunno if Siobhan specifically asked Brennan to not put her on a bus with the other beloved NPCs or what but I'm so glad she stuck around and we got the development we did. It was almost entirely ancillary to the plot but there was this clear pattern of Aelwyn getting softer and sweeter towards Adaine over the course of the season, from the guarded, "Enjoy the nemesis ward," to, full I love you's and, "I'd take them to get you." It was way more focus than I expected considering that Aelwyn completed the bulk of her arc last season and a lot of the time, a redemption arc basically ends after the big gesture (in this case, Aelwyn taking a magic blast for Adaine in Sophomore Year). So the fact that we got to see all of these sweet moments of them reestablishing their relationship outside of do or die moments was such a pleasant surprise. Again, I fully admit I am extremely biased, but this was my top wishlist item and the season overdelivered so there's a baseline happy I'm always gonna be with Junior Year. 

OK, so moving on to things I things I think could have been tweaked.

Even though I liked the downtime system and the pressures it created, it also squeezed out the chance for more casual PC to NPC interactions that would usually be more common because they were semi-locked behind the relationship track and there wasn't an obvious benefit to roll for Relationships (as opposed to something like Academics which was crucial for not flunking out). Making the mechanical benefit more clear would have helped that (even if it meant Brennan didn't get his reveal--which he ended up just telling them anyway so might as well do it early). The other thing is that the consequence of a rage token was so bad that of course they spent all season avoiding getting one. Things might have gone differently if the consequences had been a bit more obscured, like in Neverafter. And it could have been a nice parallel to the Rat Grinders to take this unknown resource that makes things easier for you but is also having this negative effect. Then it could be like dang we did the same thing they did unknowingly. 

I mentioned this in my recap but I'll talk about it again. It is a little confusing to me that we did the Ankarna subplot right after we did the very similar Cassandra subplot. It took up so much time this season which I don't think is an issue in and of itself, it's just that we literally just went through some extremely similar beats last season. Why double up on this same storyline when there's so much new ground to cover? Or if we're going to raise a god, why not make it a different kind of god? One theory I had early on was that the Rat Grinders were trying to raise their own god to one-up the Bad Kids but instead of raising a chill, misunderstood Cass type, they accidentally raised a god who was erased for a good reason and got in over their heads. 

It's fun for there to be connections between seasons but sometimes it's like, OK that's a *lot* of coincidences. Like the god who your rivals is trying to raise *happens* to be the wife of your cleric's god and also *happens* to be the god of the fiend trapped in your friend's mom's chest and that fiend *happens* to be the relative on your bard's dad's side which is *also* the reason she is randomly cursed? That's a LOT of red string connecting plot points. As unhinged as Kipperlilly is about coveting Riz's backstory if I saw that go down I'd be like you have *got* to be kidding me.  

The mystery elements didn't feel like they clicked as well as they did in other seasons. I think that's partially because Porter's plan was so convoluted (seriously, I made another post about how haphazard his plan was) and had all these moving parts and we didn't get clear answers for a lot of mechanical things like how the rage crystals actually work and when they were implanted and stuff. You had stuff like Devil's Honey which I think is super cool as a thing that exists in the world but ended up being an element that just led the players down the wrong path and had a relatively small payoff (that Porter was using it to lie to Ankarna). I think it's plausible that a forgotten god would be willing to listen to anyone saying the right things without introducing this element. (As opposed to, for instance, Ambrosia which has a very clear connection to what's going on and is a solid clue that someone is flirting with aspirations of godhood.) 

The Porter reveal came so late in the season that even though it was a fun/challenging fight, there wasn't a lot of emotional weight behind killing him. It was basically just dunking on a teacher Fig has always hated who was also mean to Gorgug so screw him. Which, valid of course. But the Bad Kids were never going to react as strongly to Porter as they were to the Rat Grinders so putting Porter in the prime villain spot isn't necessarily what I would have done if I wanted the fight to be more than just a brawl--especially since we've done "School admin with student minions" already in S1. I don't mind the full circle callback but it would have been nice to pick something else for the sake of variety. We haven't had a child mastermind yet and I think Kipperlilly could have been a great candidate for that. My friend suggested that it would have been fun if Kipperlilly was trying to become a god instead of just being Porter's underling and I agree. "I'm not anyone's chosen one so I'll choose myself," is still within her established jealousy and Type A tendencies. If we want to keep Porter involved since that was Brennan's gift to Emily, maybe have it be that instead of Kipperlilly working for him, he's working for her. Like Artemis Fowl vibes! And the Rat Grinders can be varying levels of on board--from true believe to redeemable. I don't think Brennan planned for the Bad Kids to ever redeem her so might as well go full megalomaniacal mastermind with her and make her The Villain if she's not gonna be nuanced anyway. If My Little Pony can do it and send a literal child to Tartarus for pony treason (or whatever Cozy Glow did), Fantasy High can too. 

Continuing from the above, if we have the Porter fight in place of the Grix fight (a la Daybreak) and don't use Ankarna, that gives way more time for the Bad Kids to investigate the Rat Grinders throughout the season and it would mean that they would have their personalities developed a lot more. With the limited downtime, they Bad Kids didn't have a lot of time to spend on these kids who were just hating on them for no good reason (valid). But if you cleared their plate of the god hunt stuff, they'd have more time for this. And if they weren't all rage zombies to varying degrees, it would be easier to see them as characters. Besides Kipperlilly (and, funnily enough, Mary Ann) we don't really have a good read on what these kids are actually like. The little time we spent with them all season was kind of a wash if them breaking out of rage means their personalities got laundered too. Anyway, regardless of how their loyalties ended up shaking out, it would have been fun for them to be more than the minions that they were in canon. As funny as it is for them to just kinda be XP farming losers, they did have the potential to be more interesting in their own right if they weren't just Porter's minions. And again, we've done adults forcing or coercing children into being minions in Freshman and Sophomore Year already. Lemme see some self-created child maniacs! (Or, peer pressured child maniacs. That's cool too. The Lucy/Kipperlilly dynamic is way more interesting to me if it's like girl, I would take a bullet for you but I CANNOT walk this path with you any further in response to *I* will be a god and you can be *MY* champion.)

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Like I said, I have my points that I think could have been tightened, but overall an enjoyable season and I will be glued to my screen if they decide to close out with Senior Year! 

[somuchbetterthanthat]

Obsessed this morning with the fact that Martin is set up as Elias's enemy, not Jon. Jon might be the one who goes to Daisy first to figure out a plan to get rid of Elias, but Martin is the one who stands up to him and "defeats" him using Elias's general methods of manipulation. Martin is the one who "really wants" to kill Elias in S4, and do not do it only because that's also what Peter wants and he realizes that's sketchy. Something Elias was betting on. QUITE LITERALLY.

Jon is furious at the beginning of S5, but I don't think he talks about killing Elias -- he says he's so angry at him, he says he wants to hunt him down but! he doesn't say kill. MARTIN, throughout alll of S5, is the one who insists they're gonna get there and kill Elias. In fact, when they talk about Jon stopping to go on a murder spree, Martin is the one who insists "but we're still killing Elias, right?" and Jon says "..sure" but it's quieter and more hesitant already. Martin readily admits he fantasizes about killing Elias then kissing his boyfriend on top of his corpse in victory!

Martin is supposed to be Elias's enemy!! ELIAS considers Martin his enemy -- absolutely not Jon, not really. "Where is Martin?" he asks. "I thought he'd be the one to do the deed" he says. INSANE!

You know what is also insane? Narratively Martin has a chance of killing Elias twice and refuses, leading to ConsequencesTM. First time he stops Melanie from doing it, second time he goes against Peter's plan and doesn't do it himself. Narratively, you would expect that the third time the charm. In fact, I think Elias would have find poetry in it -- and Martin maybe not the satisfaction he'd hoped for, giving up a part of himself and dirtying his hands at last killing someone he really wanted dead. There's a world where that IS narratively satisfying, in fact (Martin killing Elias forgetting about ConsequencesTM and seeing his boyfriend immediately ascend ultimate monster godhood instead...)

but no. after all this. Jon does it. of course Jon does it. WHO ELSE but Jon could do it?? Jon said it himself! He's the only one who can. Cause Elias and Martin might be pit against each other, but this is about Jon reclaiming his agency at last.

Elias didn't think he'd be able to do it; i doubt Jon thought for the longest time that he'd be able to do it, because -- here's the thing, when he kills in S5 he says it's vengeance: only killing those who hurt him. and it makes him feel worse. which is why he hesitates saying yes to killing Elias again: cause what else would killing Elias be BUT vengeance, for everything he's done to Jon??? I feel it's why Jon DOES manage to kill Elias: because he convinces himself it's not about him. It's about everybody else. And he can do that. Killing Elias becomes not personal, but necessary.

...And I don't know where i'm going with this now i'm just rambling. God there is a world where I can see myself liking s5 so much more. BUT I LOVE THE ENEMIES DYNAMICS BETWEEN ELIAS AND MARTIN AND THEN JON COMES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IN THE BACK OK

[ittybittyremy]

All the details Bells Hells know about Cyrus' death & everything surrounding it

I've been seeing people wondering/forgetting how much Dorian has told Bells Hells about the circumstances of Cyrus' death. So I've decided to go through the episodes!

A couple disclaimers before I start:

Orym shouldn't have made that comment to Dorian. Even if he didn't know all the specifics, knowing Dorian's brother died recently (and at all for that matter) should have stopped him from making that theoretical. Even if Cyrus' death had nothing to do with the gods, it would still be an inappropriate thing to say. He could've made that theoretical to anyone else in that group but he said it to the person with a recently dead family member.

Even though it would be beneficial for Dorian to tell BH (and for BH to learn/understand) everything about that day, he doesn't have to (and` shouldn't be forced to). Plus, it's very in character for Dorian not to tell them.

I don't want to see any comments saying "well it's implied," "BH should be able to connect the dots," or "BH should get the hint because of how Dorian has been acting." I'm bad at picking up hints irl so I won't fault BH for not connecting those points.

This post is about what Dorian has explicitly said (even though I did add a couple parts where he implies what happens).

This is all under the assumption that Dorian has not told BH everything off camera.

All timestamps will be based on the YouTube VOD.

I may miss a couple tidbits so sorry in advance.

Now to the actual information

Episode 93

Cyrus died (3:43:24)

Two of Dorian's best friends became the champions of the Matron of Ravens and the Spider Queen (3:43:28)

It all happened yesterday (3:43:38)

Opal is "not really" okay (3:43:45)

Cyrus died in battle "if you can call it that" (3:53:36)

Until that day he never thought real evil existed (3:53:46)

What he saw in the previous couple days does was "irredeemable" (3:53:55)

They tried to help Opal (3:54:59)

Dorian knows that there are forces enacting on the world that go "deeper than [he] imagined" (3:55:05)

Fy'ra Rai stayed with Opal (3:55:16)

Dariax is "all right" (3:55:20)

Opal is alive but corrupted (3:57:04)

Fy'ra Rai may be walking down the path as Opal (3:57:12)

Episode 94

Dorian doesn't explicitly mention it this episode but there is a moment where he hints that the prime deities may have somehow been involved.

"If you are relying on the help of the gods, champions, I can't say that I trust them anymore" (2:30:17)

Episode 102

No explicit mentions here BUT we begin to get Dorian's opinions of the gods. That's not what this post is about so I will move on

Episode 103

More of Dorian's views on the gods and we finally get another (sort of) explicit mention

"The last I conferred with a god, they cared very little about the feelings of anyone around us." That god being the Spider Queen (1:37:01)

The reason I say "sort of" is because Dorian doesn't say this is in regards to Cyrus' death (even though we the audience knows this). Orym and Fearne could've easily assumed that this was in regards to their EXU times.

Episode 109

Get an idea of what "getting dark" means. Matt describes Opal as "a humanoid shape of white hair and a black crown dripping and black oil and ichor. Opal stands dark and still" (2:19:13)

"Opal the Twice-Crowned, born a fractured, dual soul. A being of unknown potential, manipulated by cult and betrayer gods alike to walk a violent path without agency, a pawn for the gods and their whims." Raven Queen describing Opal (2:19:32)

Opal has a spider form (different from three-armed Opal) (2:49:20)

Episode 110

Dorian remind Bells Hells that Opal is now the champion of the Spider Queen (51:29)

Laudna says "hang on, because didn't, the last time you saw Opal, wasn't she trying to brutally murder you?" (52:22). I guess BH knows it was the Spider Queen? I'm a bit confused because Dorian never explicitly told them this but maybe it was an off screen thing

Dorian: "I'm not certain any information we would get from her would be particularly reliable" (52:30)

What does Bells Hells know?

As far as they know, the day before Dorian reunited with Bells Hells:

Cyrus died in a (sort of) battle.

They tried to help Opal but she is corrupted, she is still alive though

Fy'ra Rai stayed with Opal

Dariax is safe

Opal and someone else are now the champions of the Spider Queen and Matron of Ravens.

Dorian discovered real evil existed

The title "Opal the Twice-Crowned"

Opal's spider form (but different the three-armed Opal that Dorian saw)

Opal is not a reliable source of information right now

What does Bells Hells not know?

Wildmother refused to help

Matron refused to help

The Spider Queen killed Cyrus (? tbh i'm confused about this one)

Dorian came here because Opal casted mass suggestion

Dorian abandoned Dariax

Opal's memories are either gone or altered

Opal with three arms

The whole Ted thing

And much more

[ineffable-endearments]

I was rethinking the bookshop meta I wrote a while ago and realized I was not thinking big enough.

The bookshop has always been Aziraphale's version of Crowley's plants (his trauma reenactment), but also, absolutely everything Aziraphale does in Season 2 is a re-creation of Heaven's role. Crowley's behavior also encompasses everything, not just his plants.

I've seen it suggested that centering Aziraphale and Crowley's trauma histories is reducing their characters to behaving like just reactive victims instead of survivors with agency. Or worse, it's "excusing bad behavior." I don't agree with either of these, because I feel that part of Good Omens is about how large, powerful systems affect individuals, and so the context of every character's decisions matters a lot to the overall themes of the story. Everyone starts out working within a system they believe to reflect reality and then has to learn how to break free of it. You cannot really illustrate that without having the characters start out being genuinely trapped with different ways of coping with their reality.

This is an attempt at a pretty big-picture meta. Although it isn't a plot prediction, it's how I think some of the series' themes are going to progress. It starts out perhaps a little grim, but in the long run, it's how Aziraphale's character growth and relationship with Crowley can simultaneously be massive for them as individuals, a crucial part of the overarching narrative message of the series, and symbolic of a change in all of Heaven and Hell, all while allowing the themes to continue to prioritize human free will.

In short, it's about Aziraphale's problems, but it's also meant to be an Aziraphale love post.

All of the below exists in tandem with Good Omens as a comedy of errors. Just because there are heavy ideas does not mean they will not also be funny. Look back on how much of Season 2 seemed silly until we started to pick it apart! One of the amazing things about Good Omens is how it manages to do both silly and serious at once! (I feel like that's maybe a little Terry Pratchett DNA showing through. "Laughter can get through the keyhole while seriousness is still hammering on the door," as Terry himself said.)

Aziraphale has really embraced his connection to Crowley in Season 2, and he has also become considerably more assertive toward Heaven and Hell. These are both major growth points compared to the beginning of Season 1.

However, again, we have the concept of growing pains...Aziraphale is starting to re-create Heaven's role in his relationship with Crowley and humanity. It's really obvious with the Gabriel argument and the I Was Wrong Dance, but I think we see it all over the place: he seems to feel any serious dissent is a betrayal. He also seems to assume there's a dominance hierarchy and he, of course, is on top. Now that he's decided to take control of his own future, then surely that does mean he's the one in control, right?

With all that said, he still seems to have trouble being direct about the feelings that make him most vulnerable. He manipulates people and engineers situations in which he can try to get his emotional needs met rather than saying things outright (case in point: the Ball).

Like I pointed out in the bookshop meta: subconsciously, he's playing the role of God, modified with what God would be if She were everything he wants Her to be. He's generous, almost infinitely sweet, always does what's best for people...or, at least, what he believes is best for people. During the Ball, Aziraphale influences the people around him to be comfortable and happy even when they're not supposed to be, and he limits their ability to talk about things he thinks are too rude or improper for happy, formal occasions.

Doesn't this pattern sort of make sense for an angel who's just discovering free will? Like, at the end of Season 1, he made an enormous choice to stand against Heaven and realized he could survive it. Now he's gone a bit overboard with exerting his own will. Unfortunately, while he's learned to question upper management, he's still operating on a fundamental framework of the universe where there have to be two sides and there has to be a hierarchy. Also, since Aziraphale is on the Good side, he of course has to gear his desires into what's Good rather than just what he wants, so he sometimes thinks he's doing things for others when really he's doing things for himself. (For example, matchmaking Maggie and Nina started out as something he wanted to use to lie to Heaven, but by the time he was commenting "Maggie and Nina are counting on me," he seemed sincere, like he had genuinely convinced himself this was for them and not for himself.)

Aziraphale knows Heaven interferes in human affairs, ostensibly on God's behalf. He thinks She should be intervening in ways that are beneficial. What I believe the narrative wants him to learn is that God and Heaven shouldn't be manipulating people at all, not even for Good, and in fact there is no real meaningful hierarchy.

Anyway, a top-down, totally unquestioned hierarchy is the primary social relationship Aziraphale has known, and it's certainly been the dominant one for most of his existence: you're either the boss or the underling, and if someone seriously questions you, they don't have faith in you - they don't respect you.

No, his relationship with Crowley has not always been like that, but they've been creating their relationship from whole cloth, so how would he know it shouldn't become that way, now that it's "real" and out in the open?

No, human relationships aren't like that, but Aziraphale clearly does not see himself or Crowley as human. As the relationship approached something that seemed like it must be "legitimate," Aziraphale would naturally look for a framework to fit it to. And again, the only one he has is the shape of "intimacy," or what passes for it, in Heaven. What has "trust" always meant in all his "legitimate" relationships? It has always meant unquestioning obedience, of course. What have the warm fuzzies felt like in Heaven? Well, praise from the angels above him is nice, so that must be it, right?

Aziraphale even describes being in love as "what humans do," separating out that relationship style. Someday, I think he'll realize he favors the shape of love on Earth, something that's more inherently equal, more give-and-take. Look at how he idealizes it from afar at the Ball. But I think that, like Crowley before Nina pointed it out, Aziraphale maybe hasn't 100% grokked that it can and in fact should work that way for him and Crowley, too. Just like people can desperately want to dance without knowing how to dance, or can desperately want to speak a language without knowing the language, Aziraphale does not instinctively know how to have the kind of relationship where he can be truly vulnerable and handle Crowley's vulnerability as well.

Aziraphale is downright obsessed with French, known as the "language of love." He's trying to learn it the Earthly way. He's not very good at it, but he wants to be.

This pattern is still present during the Final Fifteen even if we assume Aziraphale is asking Crowley to become an angel again out of fear (and I find it very hard to believe that fear doesn't factor in at all). He's still building his interactions off of that Heaven-like framework: he asks Crowley to trust him blindly, he tries to assume a leadership role with a plan Crowley never agreed to and couldn't follow anyway, and he tries very hard not to leave room for an ounce of doubt. He also suggests making Crowley his second-in-command and obviously does not register that this could possibly be offensive. Again, I think this is because for Aziraphale, there has always been a hierarchy in Heaven, it's started to transfer to his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of that assumption about relationships is going to take more processing than a single argument can do.

As I mentioned in another post, I don't believe Aziraphale had a real choice about whether he accepted the Supreme Archangel position. I think he could sense that he was not getting out of it and chose to look on the bright side, to see it as an opportunity. And instead of looking realistically at how that would feel to Crowley, he tried to sweep Crowley up to Heaven with him using toxic positivity, appeals to morality, and appeals to their relationship itself. Again, mimicking what Heaven has done to him.

To me, "they're not talking" is a big clue that Aziraphale's approach with Crowley is going to be the mistake the narrative really wants him to face. "Not talking" has, thus far, been presented as the central conflict of Season 3! After losing the structure and feedback Heaven gave him, Aziraphale started creating Heaven-like patterns in his relationship with Crowley, and breaking out of those patterns is what he needs to do. Discovering first-hand that Heaven's entire modus operandi is bad no matter who's in charge is how he can do it.

Look, either you're sympathetic to Aziraphale's control issues or you're not. Personally, I am. He's trying so, so hard to be good. I think trying to figure yourself out (which Aziraphale is clearly doing) is hard enough, and when you start balancing what you want for yourself, what you think are your responsibilities, and what other people are actively asking of you, you're bound to fall into the patterns that have been enforced for your whole life or for millions of years, whichever came first.

It is very easy to assume that people should Just Be Better, but it's not actually that simple to be a thinking, feeling person. My anxiety tends to move in a very inward direction and Aziraphale's moves outward. But I'd imagine the desperation and exhaustion are the same.

Unlike Nina, Aziraphale became a rebound mess. I don't think it occurred to either him or to Crowley that there could be any soul-searching, anything but carrying on with the new normal after their stalemate with Heaven and Hell.

Now, instead of getting rejected by Heaven and surviving it, Aziraphale needs to be the one to reject Heaven. It needs to be a choice. And that choice is going to come from realizing that Heaven isn't just poorly managed but also represents a bad framework for all relationships.

How could this happen? Good question. We're obviously not supposed to know yet, although I think picking at existing themes within the narrative could possibly give us hints.

It's possible Aziraphale's character development trajectory will be akin to Adam Young's in Season 1. Please see this stellar post by eidetictelekinetic for more thoughts about it, but basically, in Season 1, Adam saw that the world was not what he wanted it to be and decided his vision was better; as he ascended to power, he took complete control over all his friends and then soon realized that's not what he wants because there's no point in trying to have relationships with people who can't choose you. It's that realization that leads Adam to conclude he doesn't want to take over the world and to reject the role he's expected to play as the Antichrist. Maybe Aziraphale's trip to Heaven is an attempt at a control move during which he'll realize he's defeating his own point.

Aziraphale clearly wants to be chosen. From the very beginning, he's wanted to be special and cared for - just like Crowley has.

Incidentally, I think Aziraphale and Crowley are going to represent pieces of the bigger picture here, and this - first imitating and then rejecting Heaven's relationship style - can both symbolize Heaven's transformation and directly start it (probably in an amusing, somewhat indirect way, like when he handed off the flaming sword to Adam).

If I'm right - which I may very well not be - I think this would all be so, SO cool. Like, "An angel who is subconsciously trying to be a better God" is a concept with so much potential for both tender kindness and incredible darkness. Add to that the comedy-of-errors aspect of "...but even deeper down, he'd much rather just be super gay on Earth" and you have, in my opinion, a perfect character.

I think this could work for Crowley as well. It's obvious that in the Good Omens universe, at least so far, Hell is all about detesting humans and punishing them; Satan seems to genuinely hate humans (unlike in some of NG's other works). Our perspective on this could change, but it potentially puts Crowley in a complementary position to Aziraphale, as a demon who is trying to be "better" than Satan. But this isn't about being "morally better." It's about things having a point. Crowley's exploits usually have a point: they test people. And you can pass his tests! He sincerely likes making trouble, but Crowley doesn't live to punish.

But, once again, the above paragraph would describe a transient phase for this infinitely charming character. Because, again, I think the point will be that in the end, Crowley's deeper-down desire, moreso than testing Creation, is watching it grow with a glass of wine in hand.

[carlyraejepsans]

speaking of dr, there's something that really annoys me about how shallow the ship discourse around kr4lsei is. I'm not sure I'm 100% behind this for the same reasons i doubt toby will go full in with noelle's mom being abusive, ie "those are very delicate and complex topics to handle, does he have the time and space to deal with them in deltarune's story?" so take this with a grain of salt.

(warning for brief mention of incest, so I'm putting this under a readmore)

i think the discourse being framed as "thinking ralsei is presented as a romantic interest" vs "thinking ralsei is compared to kris' brother or like a family member" is incredibly stupid because those are... both true at the same time. yes, there's an unskippable "tunnel of love" scene, and it looks like ralsei could have somewhat of a crush on kris. but ralsei still 1) looks just like a dreemurr, 2) clearly plays, as a character, on our feelings and memories of asriel from playing undertale, as evident by their designs and their names being anagrams 3) i am 99% sure Noelle was going to say "that kinda looks like asriel" while looking at him eating cotton candy with Susie, and Susie herself suggests telling toriel he's "a long lost cousin". either way, if ralsei is meant to play on our feelings towards asriel, then as asriel's sibling, kris is likely gonna feel similarly.

are you uncomfortable? good! you should be. that's the point.

it's not random that the snowgrave route was framed and portrayed with the imagery of a wedding. first the freezering, then the thorn ring are explicitly compared to wedding rings. "we're just friends"/"we're something else". "YOU'VE BEEN MAKING [hyperlink blocked (...LoVE?)], HAVEN'T YOU?" noelle with whom kris had a strained relationship, whose feelings (platonic? romantic? we don't know) we brute force in what is the most chilling, manipulative, cruel iteration of chapter 2's story we could take... it's almost as if deltarune uses kris being forced into romantically coded situations they're deeply uncomfortable with as a way to showcase their lack of agency in the story.

and being pushed into romcom-like situations with a guy who looks like their brother works pretty darn well to follow that pattern, if you ask me.

now, if a forced romance with noelle represents their lack of agency in regards to the player, then... a forced romance with ralsei could represent their lack of agency towards Fate. The Plot/Story. unskippable cutscene, remember? not to mention ralsei's whole purposepilled shtick he clearly has a complex about.

this does raise a couple of questions about susie though, as the third option in the "who would you take to the fair with you" question, the one option kris seems to agree with, as well as being a character who is actively resisting the narrative.

because there's people who are very much FOR krusie, just as there are people against it, i doubt their getting or not getting together would work to represent kris gaining their agency back. and i believe i speak for everyone when i say that susie is going to play a huge part in that arc. either way, i'm curious to see how this develops.

idk! like i said, I'm not sure just how much toby is gonna go into this because it IS a very delicate subject. but it's an example of what i mean when i say "there's more to fandom than shipping" and "fixating so hard on Shipping Good Things" can be detrimental to analysis. I'm not cancelling anyone with this post, go on doing your thing whether it's kr4lsei or r4lsusie or krus1e. but if your first thought going into this was "I'm gonna ignore the part where the game compares ralsei to asriel because that would make my ship incest and that is Bad and uncomfortable" then... that's a very cheap way to interact with media? lol. sometimes being uncomfortable IS the point. god knows utdr makes you uncomfortable on purpose sometimes. ok rant over :P

[blues-valentine]

Dune Spoilers:

I like the Dune book series - it’s one of the first sci fic books I ever read and we all know they're the blueprint. And Deni's movies are a visual masterpiece. With that being said, I have some issues with the movies because of their use of Arab culture to build their world while most of their cast and staff isn’t even middle eastern. But I don’t feel I have the authority to talk about it so I’ll refer to some posts. (x x x)

But with a lot of criticism I disagree with the takes about the movie showing us a "white savior trope" and I don’t want to yell that media literacy is death when it comes to analyzing entertainment but yes because Paul Atreides is being portrayed as a cautionary tale since the very first introduction to Dune in the movies. Chani starts the movie explaining Arraki’s story about being invaded and under the ex rule of an imperial house and asks the following question: “Who’ll our next oppressors be?” while cutting directly to Paul and starting his journey. Paul isn’t being shown as the white savior that will free the Fremen from the imperial rule and get them the paradise they see in the prophecy. He quickly becomes a power hungry leader with a god complex and I think Dune: Part Two heavily showcases this transition. Paul spends a lot of time denying what he could be and when he has the ability to see he can win and rule the world - his greed takes over.

Paul’s ascent to power in the 3rd act isn’t even being portrayed as a good thing — it’s supposed to be dark and full of warnings about the tyrant he’ll become. It’s there in his scary speech and Chani’s face. Both Paul and Jessica are being shown as manipulative people that are leading the Fremen into false hopes and religious fanaticism. Paul knew from the very start that the Bere Gesserit were planting ideas on the Fremen about him being the one - and he knew he needed to convince the remaining doubtful people of the prophecy if he wanted them on his side for his revenge. He was using the Fremen for his vengeance agaisnt the emperor. And he might’ve fallen in love with Chani and genuinely believe his place is at Arrakis' but he quickly transforms into the Messiah that plays into people’s false worship. He knows the easiest way to control the Fremen is by playing into the prophecy.

Paul’s Atraides isn’t about a hero’s journey but mostly the journey of an anti hero. We are not supposed to think he is the good guy. In the books there’s this important quote from Frank Herbert’s himself: “No more terrible disaster could befall your people than for them to fall into the hands of a hero.” because Paul isn’t there to save them from colonialism just replacing their old oppressors (Harkonnen) with him.

And I was pleasantly surprised with the changes in Chani’s character by her having more agency by being a freedom fighter and the only one seeing the wrongs in the increasing fanaticism towards Paul and the dangers this means for her people instead of playing the passive girlfriend that sticks by his side despite him becoming everything he swore won't be like in the books. And I really hope they change some parts of her arc in the last movie and she goes against him. Or at the very least have her still present a strong opposition to his world view. It would turn their relationship more interesting than her spending 12 years as his concubine wanting to bear him children and dying for it. I think Denis seems to be planning a better way to portray the women in the last movie and I can't wait to see what he does with them.

I just feel like people will get to Dune: Messiah and be so confused as if Paul going into a dark path and becoming Arraki's next oppressor wasn't pretty much there all along.

[dr-spectre]

also it's a random thing but I've realized people have been using brainwashed wrong too

Brainwashing has nothing to do with actually mind controlling people and has everything to do with propaganda. And being told it constantly

For context -

<- the actual definition of doing something

if we use this definition instead of how literally everyone uses it (ie. It's just a replacement for mind controlled)

Then honestly callie being "brainwashed" makes more logically sense if you treat the hypnoshades as consistently feeding her propaganda. It's not literally taking over her mind she's literally probably being played octavios music tbh

Because it's canonically a thing that octavio uses music for propaganda

TLDR: even by LITERAL INSISTENCE INKIPEDIA DEFINITIONS that she id "brainwashed and mind controlled", she can not be mind controlled. Realistically if Callie was brainwashed that means she was just fed propaganda about Octarian.

So people can't argue that she was forced into that outfit she wears in splatoon 2 still because she probably chose to wear it maybe as a strange solidarity idea. It's not about being forced to wear something... Like that. It's wearing a uniform.

Uh that tldr is too long:

Etldr: callie can't be mind controlled no matter how much people insist, brainwashing literally is about propaganda and not "oh no my memories are lost I can't feel ::((("

You literally cannot force her to not have autonomy no matter if it's "brainwashing vs hypnosis"

It's NOT MIND CONTROLLL 😭😭😭😭

o god this is super long

I actually got a comment that was VERY similar to this!!! Someone (I forgot who) said, "I'm gonna think of cult brainwashing instead of sci-fi brainwashing for callie for my own sanity."

From my knowledge, the term brainwashing has always been this general term to describe mind control plots and shit like that and people use it poorly and wrongly. And THAT'S where my anger comes from. Because people wanna make Callie's arc in Splatoon 2 way worse, more disgusting and less interesting. It's so SOOOOO annoying and disregards any sort of arc that Callie could go through....

The word is either used in cults, or military experiments, or family drama of "you're brainwashing my child!" Or sci fi lazy bullshit where it's just "mind control and you lose all of your autonomy and memories" aka Winter Soldier, Widowmaker, etc. It's such a general term that has a trillion different meanings and it's fucking frustrating as hell.

If I try to look at Callie’s story through the lens of "standard" brainwashing where it's just psychological manipulation and propaganda from the Octarians and Octavio, considering that he is known to use music and other things as motivation to boost Octarians.... then... I actually wouldn't have a problem with people using that word... maybe...

Because Callie STILL had some amount of agency and autonomy, even with the shades on, she couldn't have been forced to do anything against her will cause of how hypnosis works. She still heard out the Octarians and listened to their propaganda. Was Octavio still in the wrong? Yeah! DUHHHH!!! NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK!!! HE MANIPULATED A MENTALLY ILL SQUID WOMAN!!! YOU THINK IM RESOLVING THAT MAN OF BLAME?!?! FUCK NO!!! But in that scenario it's WAYYYY LESS EVIL than what the fuck people and Nintendo tried to suggest that they did. I dont wanna believe that Octavio immediately grabbed and then "brainwashed" Callie with the shades after she said "okay fine I'll hear you out." And then "kidnapped" her and her memories were wiped... Ugh. (Fucking Nintendo bro god I hate them...)

It would also help explain WHY she doesn't feel any sort of trauma or suffering from those events and why she finds the Octarians cute and why she went with Octavio to the Low Water party. She probably felt sorry for the Octarians and wanted to help them willingly because her life beforehand was shitty and she was alone... Octavio probably didn't need to do much to convince her, too, which is kinda sad... She probably doesn't feel regret or pain because, well, she was going through a rough period and she wanted an escape, so the Octarians, in her mind, were the only way out...

However.... I can't see that word the same anymore, and every time that I see it, I ALWAYS think of the bullshit sci-fi definition and people just LOVEEEE TO USE IT AS A CATCH ALL TERM!!!! IT'S REALLY REALLYYYYYY ANNOYING!!!!

That word has actually caused me physical reactions when I hear it, like I was in a family dinner and one of my parents used that word and like... I fucking tensed up and felt stinging across my entire body, my heart was pounding and stuff. NO THAT ISNT A JOKE! THATS HOW FIXATED I AM ON THE STUPID SQUID LADY!!!!

Idk if I will be able to comfortably use the word "brainwashing" to describe Hypno Callie because that word has been fully engrained to me as the sci fi. one, rather than the general cult one with more autonomy and more room to dive into depth and character change.

I guess you could say that Nintendo have... BRAINWASHED me into believing that the word is only used as a way to say mind control and "oh no I lost all of my memories!!!" Heh... Heh... eh.... I wanna die.

I fucking hate Nintendo bro. I hate them. So much.

Oh Nintendo, when I find you I swear to go-

[nightcolorz]

I am sooo frustrated by how a lot of the fandom talks about Louis in a way that always centers his victimhood. Jacob Anderson has put so much effort and talent into portraying a nuanced and complicated character, and people steamroll right over what he has to say about Louis's motivations to portray him as this totally passive person with no control over anything. He absolutely uses Armand's sexual trauma to gain emotional leverage, and we should be able to talk about that without having to excuse it or constantly reinforce that Louis is the BIGGER victim, so his own boundary-crossing or manipulative behavior is irrelevant.

YESSS!!! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!! omg thank u anon god ur so right I’ve been sayyyying this!! It’s genuinely fucking weird and icky to me that just because Louis was a victim of abuse fans act like he is only ever capable of being a victim of abuse without any agency or capacity for harm. He is such a varied complex character and the fact that he was abused is a piece of a huge puzzle, not the entire picture.

I’ve said this before, but I think that part of this as u perfectly put “constant reinforcing that Louis is the bigger victim” is because it was a huge theory/interpretation that Armand was going to be the even more abusive even more manipulative “lestat part two” after his reveal in season one, and there was a ton of fanfic and meta written with this assumption, and now that season 2 is out and the portrayal is wayyy more complex and Armand isn’t an unambiguous evil but also like an abuse victim himself who is being manipulated by Louis, these people who were attached to their post s1 one theory that Armand was gonna be the ultimate bad and Louis was going to be trapped in victimhood r still clinging to that interpretation and finding absurd hoops to jump through to still justify it as correct. It’s rlly annoying!! 😭😭 as an Armand obsessed freak who has been insisting that he is more sympathetic and complex then he was being given credit for after his reveal, it’s insane to me to witness the show justifying my interpretation and fans r STILL sticking to their shallow read of two amazingly varied characters

[tsutsumi-kurose]

tbhk 119 thoughts!!

[shows up to the red house a week and a half late with an iced coffee]

lol lots of thoughts this chapter!!

i think one of the most prominent questions of this chapter is about the status of kou. it seems our boy is definitely possessed, but how possessed? is possession a switch that turns on and off? to me, it seems like there are parts of kou that are genuinely him in this chapter, but he's definitely not acting of his own accord. can the entity possessing him change the strength of its control from moment to moment?

i don't really have an answer, but i noticed a parallel that might hold some clues!! i thought kou smiling and pointing nene in adult amane's direction seemed very familiar...

he looks strikingly similar to the tsukasa we met in the first red house arc!! the pointing is the same, as is the wide eyed, somewhat vacant sunny disposition. this suggests to me that kou is currently filling a role similar to the one tsukasa filled in the original red house arc, sort of a wishes tour guide, or lure. they both know what the person they're showing around wants, and they're taking them right to it!!

i don't think they're exactly the same, though... i get the impression original tsukasa had a little more agency than kou does here. original tsukasa got a wish granted and even got to leave of his own accord!! whereas kou seems more in between. he seems to have more of a distinct role/job than the people who came to the red house and never left, and he still has aspects of his own personality and relationships, but he's definitely being controlled.

it does seem like the entity has a lot more strength in this new timeline, but I also wonder if it was always capable of this—what happened to all the original red house victims? did the people originally trapped in the red house ever get puppeted around? or did no one worth manipulating show up before kou and nene?

i also love how this parallel seems so similar bc of how familiar but not quite right the behavior is for both kou and tsukasa!! tsukasa was a smiley, helpful child before being possessed, and likewise, at least around nene, kou is usually cheery and helpful too!! so that makes it difficult to tell how much of their personalities are lingering vs what is the doing of this entity that grants wishes…something that is supposedly helpful and would make people happy…

speaking of happiness!!

this is my other favorite parallel from this chapter:

of course. of course! of course i'm happy, of course i love you. isn't it interesting, what adult amane's "of course i'm happy" seems to suggest about amane's "of course i love you"? I find it really interesting that when four-year-old amane said this, he probably really meant it!! but tsukasa thought he hated him. when the entity says “of course I’m happy”…well, does the entity mean it? seems very pointedly deceptive, but I suppose it’s not off the table that the entity may genuinely believe people are happier this way

I’m also interested in hearing the entity talk through amane, given that supposedly whatever changed didn’t affect anything before the twins’ fourth birthday. so that would suggest the god still learned its speech patterns from tsukasa:

it would be so devastating if possessed amane’s false “of course I’m happy” was truly an echo of how tsukasa interpreted amane’s “of course I love you” as false ):

i'm also interested in the fact that amane was visited on his fourth birthday...when the clock clearly said 1968 when the clock keepers went to the past.

the way adult amane covers his face when recalling this memory is also very similar to how hanako covers his face when talking about using the clock to change something in ch101, which makes me think the change was very possibly 1968 amane’s doing. this figure we see talking to four-year-old amane could be a 1968 amane, and maybe he changed something on the day of their fourth birthday.

which would mean he changed something about the day tsukasa got sacrificed... that would be devastating, because it doesn't seem like tsukasa ever came back. I can’t really imagine how intentional that would’ve been on amane’s end, but i could see amane trying to stop tsukasa from sacrificing himself and the entity seizing on this and causing more complications... hm...

final parallel bc this is where I start crying

just two cuties in the red house in separate timelines ready to alter reality to be whatever will make amane happy :')

they both love him so much!! they're the same!!!<3

but with an important distinction in approach, which is that nene tries her best this chapter to get amane's input on what his happiness looks like and how he'd like her to go about supporting that vision!! i'm really interested to see what a wish given with permission looks like... and how might it alter the outcomes? may not work out, but a round of applause for her doing her best at communicating lol

"or was life still difficult after all...?" analysis OVER i have to go cry again <3 goodnight <3

[miracletyrant]

Arthur Lester and living for someone else: an essay I dreamt up while I had the flu

First, some clarification: when I say living for someone else, I mean taking them into consideration in your life. It is not about catering unhealthily to them, or enslaving yourself to their whims. living for someone else is the difference between feeling love for someone and acting on it. It's about treating love as an action.

In episode 31, we learn a lot about Arthur's past. While Bella was giving birth, he said to James, "I can't live for someone else!" and he wasn't wrong. He loves Faroe, even if he didn't love Bella, but he didn't truly live for her. Don't get me wrong; he wasn't a neglectful father. He was kind to her and tried to spend time with her. Ultimately, he made few sacrifices for her, but not none.

Once she was gone and Parker had helped him restore his will to live, he found contentment. And this is the most important part; he wasn't unhappy living for himself, having no one worry about where he was or what he was doing, and having no one depend on him. He was fine.

But he wasn't thriving. Guilt and loss aside, he was living the life he would've, had he never gotten Bella pregnant. And yet, despite everything, despite knowing that he prefers a life lived just for himself, Arthur still said that the time he spent with Faroe--for Faroe, so to speak--was the happiest of his life. He didn't allocate much time to that selfless joy, the joy of telling fairy tales to his little girl, of dedicating time to her, but he was happier with her than he would've been without her. Happier carving out a piece of himself and giving it to her, sharing it with her, hollowing out a space in his world for her to be safe and loved in.

But he did cave to himself. He didn't dedicate as much to her as a father should, because he didn't want to live for someone else.

Cut to episode 20. This is a different Arthur than the man who fathered Faroe. This Arthur has lost absolutely everything, except John.

Arthur has made up his mind. He knows he can't beat the King in Yellow, but he also refuses to let him have John. He knows that John doesn't want to return to the King, and he knows John doesn't want to die. But John has no real agency over his fate, as he is trapped within Arthur. John can't fight back, and he can't run away. The only way he can be protected from those terrible fates is if Arthur puts himself aside entirely and thinks only of John.

So he does. He faces the King, knowing that he might die, knowing that he might fail, but completely unwilling to make a call that would doom John. And the King sees that. That's why, during the confrontation, he says to Arthur, "You despise me... and yet you love him."

That line. That beautiful, poignant line, spoken so contemplatively by the bloodthirsty god of madness. He seeks to understand Arthur, to manipulate him, to find his true intention, and that is what he finds. "You love him" means "You act singularly out of love for John, with his best interest at the core of your every decision."

He knows, because of this, that he has lost. So he chooses to take out his anger on Arthur instead.

It would've been easier for Arthur to give up while his bones were being broken. He was helpless to stop the torment, but he knew he had the knife. He could've killed himself once he realized that he was going to be subject to eternal torture, and it would've made sense. But he didn't. In fact, he begged John not to return to the King even while screaming in agony, even knowing that if John left, the pain would end. Because John's fate mattered more to him than his own. So long as he endured, John would live.

It wasn't until he realized that John was leaving, sacrificing everything for him, that he decided to kill himself. If John was doomed regardless, then this way, at least he would be free from the King. And if Arthur's motivation was at all unclear--perhaps he was sacrificing himself because of all the people the King would hurt once fully restored--he clarifies it later, in season 3.

"I died for you. For a fucking voice in my head, that stole my eyesight. I fucking died for that. Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

It does sound insane. But he doesn't even mention the even crazier thing he did; being willing to live for the voice in his head. To live through unfathomable agony and terror of the King's torture, just to protect John. Dying for him was his last resort, because he shares a body with him. Dying for John could only save him from something worse than death.

This means that in order to love John, Arthur has to live for him in every way possible. He has to care for himself in order to care for John. He has to do things he doesn't want to do--like maybe one day sit through a film he can't see--to care for John. Every single experience--good and bad--that he has brings John life and humanity, and every good thing he does shows John how beautiful the world can be. His patience and forgiveness helps John to grow his own sense of compassion.

The core beauty of their relationship lies within this, at least for me. Arthur Lester, a man unable to live for anyone but himself, is put in a position where everything he does has a potent effect on a lost fragment of an eldritch being. And despite what that being is, despite the bloodlust and violence of his entire existence, he slowly becomes someone so full of love and compassion that he can hardly stand to ignore a person in need. Even before growing close with Arthur, he knew compassion from his new desire to grow. He wanted Arthur to spare the wraith in season 1, because he wanted to know that monsters can be saved and redeemed. And he kept growing from there. John shed his first ever tears for an innocent animal. He looked through Arthur's cruel words in season 3 and understood that they were fueled by self-hatred, and he stuck by him and refused to let him drown in his darkest moments. He was willing to risk everything for strangers victimized by a terrible monster. He begged Arthur not to take the stone from Mr. Scratch, because in doing so, someone innocent would have to pay the price.

Of course he isn't perfect (ahem, that whole thing with Oscar), but he has been loved enough to be transformed completely. He has been loved enough to return that love, not only to Arthur, but to people he doesn't know. Because Arthur lived for him.

[curioussubjects]

adding thoughts to this post re: what john epler had to say about the after-credits scene in veilguard:

really do think the negative reaction to it has been a bit disproportionate considering the actual content of the scene. epler's point about word choice being deliberate so as to not negate the agency of the characters in dragon age very much tracks with the story.

the important thing to note is that each and every moment depicted in the scene comes from each character making decisions that are in accord with their worst instincts: pride, greed, the desire to exert control over others. at the same time, many of these instincts are born of trauma, of losing one's way, of some twisting one's primal survival instinct into complete selfishness.

these flaws have been shown in every game to be doorways for corruption. particularly, they have been shown to make individuals weaker to possession. but while possession can (and often does) lead to a loss of agency, the path to that end is littered with actual choices influenced by spirits who exploit a person's worst fears and qualities.

and while spirits are the most similar dynamic, at first glance, to what seems to be happening in the after-credit scene, it's not in the least exclusive to spirits. people lead people astray all the time. thedas is no stranger to manipulation subtle and over alike.

the entities introduced in the scene aren't some special omniscient omnipotent masterminds nor are the people of thedas mindless pawns. much like the tevinter magisters listening to the old gods weren't forced to enter the black city, they did that themselves with the encouragement of the old gods.

dragon age has ceaselessly made the argument that power isn't the same as godhood, and these mystery entities are no different. and idk yall but people can make choices and retain their agency even if said choices were influenced by others in myriad ways. it's not a fun thought, but it's still true.

yeah so in short i dont think the scene is negating every game that came before; instead, it's adding another layer to the events, another way in which power can be abused, but the lesson remains the same as it always has, which can't be better put than in tevinter nights: "there might have been a better choice, said a thought [contemplation] had not been allowed." and not because of some nefarious entity, but because the easy lie of inevitability is comfort in the face of choices one regrets. (aka the plot of veilguard)

[21loveatfirstsight]

Agatha is a genius witch part 2

I just rewatched it so why not. For convenience, I will name some info so I don’t have to rewrite it everytime:

Agnes: Agatha while under Wanda’s spell.

Nosy Spell: Wanda’s spell, or Agatha’s subconscious mind filling in the world of the spell.

Episode 1: Without her power and under Wanda’s spell, Agatha can still sense magical activities. And she is quick on action too.

1. Wanda’s death and the Darkhold.

The fight at Mount Wundagore would probably only known between Kamar-Taj and S.W.O.R.D (I don’t know what agency is still standing now, I don’t watch much); because quite frankly, that kind of news (witches/sorcerers exist, universe traveling, etc.) is not something you just drop to the public population. I suspect that Strange and Wong might not even disclose that information to non-magical users. So how could Agnes know? Remember that when Herb said “Oh, she’s really, most sincerely dead”, it’s from Agatha’s pov, while under Nosy Spell. And after Agatha wakes up, Westview people are still afraid of even speaking Wanda's name.

Wanda destroyed all copies of the Darkhold from every universe. Again, Strange and Wong might let others know that Wanda is dead, but there’s no need to go around and PR the (past) existence of Darkhold, because god knows what will happen. So how could Agnes know?

2. Billy being a witch.

Preferred when she “interrogates” him, there is a spelled dialogue “It’s ink from the fingerprinting” from “Teen”. Like I said in a previous post, her subconscious mind knows he is a witch, or warning her more like, because Agatha lives and survives by killing witches, of course she will learn to notice who is a witch.

3. The talk with Herb.

The moment she wakes up, she appears angry while asking Herb for information, but as Herb seems confused, she quickly changes the way of talking to fit Herb’s “sheep” mind and gets information she wants (aka she doesn't want to waste time on explaining her situation).

4. Rio’s domestic banter, aka literally playing with Death.

Now we know Rio is Death, we should all agree that if she wants Agatha dead, she could do it with Agnes. “You can’t kill me. It’s not allowed.” - This could be a seed for future reveal, or it could mean Death can’t go around, actively killing people. She’s a guide to the afterlife, not a killer. So Rio’s visit is a rescue and warning mission. This is the result of Rio visiting:

It’s Rio’s power that breaks through Nosy Spell after Billy loosen it.

Agatha knows the Salem Seven is coming for her ass.

My conclusion is, subconsciously, Agatha still has her sense when it comes to magical activities, which is honed after years and years of practicing magic. Or, the Nosy Spell using Agatha’s memories and sense to fill in her world, much like how the Hex environment and people are based on Wanda’s memories of those old tv shows, changed and reflexed by Wanda’s emotions; and because it based on Agatha’s sense and memories, the moment Wanda died and the Darkhold is destroyed, Agnes’s reality changed to fit with her sense, aka she knows what happened.

Episode 2: Agatha’s detective and manipulation skill at work.

1. The talk with “Teen” - She knows Billy is lying or hiding something from this exact talk.

From how Lilia and Jen behave, it's common knowledge to avoid Agatha Harkness - the witch's killer, if you want to stay alive. So what is wrong with this kid? If he knows “an egregious amount” about her, he should have stayed away. Does he have a death wish?

“If you’ve got the goods to break a spell cast by Scarlet Witch” - same point from my previous post. Why has no one tried to break Agatha out of Nosy Spell or kill her while she is under its influence? Because (and this is my assumption) 1-No one has Chaos Magic, 2-Nosy Spell might hide Agatha’s location as well. And from episode 9, we now know it’s Rio’s power that actually breaks Agatha out. So Agatha knows this kid has Chaos Magic, and she knows he was lying about wanting to get more power.

But with the Seven coming, she needs to put the “Teen” mystery on hold. The “Nope. Too risky. No time” is more for her than for “Teen”. Remember, the last time she tried to mess with a young Chaos Witch, it didn’t turn out well. But she kept him by her side for the future when she got her power back and killed the Seven.

2. She suspected “Teen” is Wanda’s son the moment she picks up her pendant.

While being emotional and looking at Nicky’s hair, Agatha snaps back at Teen, asking who he is. Because it suddenly clicks for her. 

Chaos Magic is not some random magic. Wanda, who has it and is still an inexperienced witch, is capable of extraordinary creation and has her own chapter in the Darkhold. And she knows Billy has Chaos Magic. So someone who has Chaos Magic suddenly spawn between her 3 years gap. The possibility that he's related to Wanda is there in Agatha’s mind.

So she kept him by her side, to deal with him later when she had her power back. That’s why the “protective” behavior: telling people he’s her pet, familiar, etc. So what’s about the black heart thing? She knows “Teen” has a sigil on him, so the black heart should be him (can’t be Rio because Death can’t take a side), and she hides it not because she wants to protect him, but because she can’t have him down there with her and the coven when they sing the Ballad, aka when she tries to provoke witches and steal their power. She failed to absorb Chaos Magic once, god knows how this could turn out.

3. Gathering her coven quick and effectively.

Agatha needs Lilia’s power, that’s why she comes to her first. Divination witch is gifted talent, so she goes to the best near her. That’s why Agatha actually tries to convince Lilia to join/to help her with her coven list, by answering her questions.

With Jen, clearly Agatha doesn’t like her, so maybe she also doesn’t like the idea of absorbing Jen’s power, but the list said she needs Jen. So Agatha half-asses “convince” Jen. Noticing with Jen, all Agatha did was provoke and humiliate Jen to get her to join, and when that didn’t work, she quickly gives up because she doesn’t have time to work on Jen. It was Billy who got Jen to join but this belongs to a different post.

Lilia and Jen know Agatha’s reputation, that’s why with them, Agatha can’t use her manipulative tactics. But she can be with Alice, who is a young witch (probably around 20s-30s), so she did by using her “familiar”, Toto (lol). When Alice protests the idea, Agatha thought over and decided that she doesn’t need Alice that much, because a young witch doesn’t have much power for her to drain anyway.

She did make a mistake by telling Lilia how her power works tho.

4. The door to the Road appears, confirming “Teen” identity to Agatha.

(Now we know the Ballad to the Witches Road is a con Agatha run to take the power from other witches. That’s a crazy and success con I must say)

Agatha knows there’s no Witches Road, as she continues telling “Teen”: “The Witches’s Road doesn’t exist” - She told him at the start of the episode. So when the door appears, she knows it was created from thin air, a spontaneous creation, by Chaos Magic.

And she knows everyone there, all definitely don’t have this kind of power. So it leaves “Teen”, as he running into the scene.

Given her unique power, Agatha lives and survives by talk her way out or in of stuffs, so naturally she gets more information out of single conversation, and thinks of any posibilities there'll be for her to use. Billy's Teen persona is not even a match for her.

(Of course the "keeping him by her side" is backfired because then she starts to truly care about him like her son)

[thedarkdisgrace]

Here is my thread from twitter i wrote about my theory about Fyodor’s ability not working on ability users. I wanted to get this posted here before we learn even more about it than in the next chapter probably lol I’m probably wrong given how old Fyodor is there’s probably plenty we don’t know and haven’t seen yet. But I still think this is interesting to talk about :) (Also I had more images to add but I will have to wait till i have access to my PC to add more cause the mobile app won’t let me)

—

So what if Fyodor can’t use his ability on ability users? We haven’t really seen him use it on other gifted, we’ve seen him shoot/manipulate gifted but not use Crime & Punishment on them.

People he did use it on were normal people and the people who have touched him & lived are all ability users.

—

If Fyodor has used C&P on an ability user, please let me know but I can’t find a particular instance he does.

Either way, his ability is probably something he either is consciously controlling or the ability itself is selective in some way with normal people because this kid touches him with a cloth.

—

Meanwhile this agent has gloves on but Fyodor still kills him with C&P. So, clothes/cloth isn’t the difference on its own.

Like i said, it’s gotta either be he *does* have control in some capacity or Crime & Punishment is selective on its own, regardless if it affects gifted or not.

But even if it is selective or controlled why never use it on the gifted?

The people he claims to want gone the most? It would also make sense why he really wants the book to write ability users out of the world. If his ability doesn’t work on them, maybe that’s why he see them as sinners.

If Fyodor has an ability he believes is a blessing or something that’s “holy”, something bestowed upon him by god then him believing ability users are sin/sinners because that “holy” ability doesn’t work on them could make sense. It’s why he wants the book to completely erase them.

But also, a different extension of this is maybe Fyodor views the book as holy because of its power. Maybe someone say, stole the book to create ability users. Fyodor would want to correct that “sin”. And maybe his ability doesn’t work on anything made by the book, thus why it doesn’t work on ability users.

But that aside, either explanation could also explain Fyodor’s fascination with Dazai (aside with his intellect), Dazai’s a walking contradiction.

The ability user who cannot be unaffected by abilities. Fyodor may even see it as Dazai can’t be touched by their “sin” and maybe is tied to the book in some way. Of course such a thing would grab his attention.

It could also explain Fyodor’s reverence for Sigma, a being created by the book. He seems to hold the book in high regard & even Ranpo himself says the book was created by smth “greater”.

If Fyodor sees the book as a tool from god, he would think highly Sigma being born from it. Similar in the way he may view Dazai

I don’t believe Fyodor did anything to Sigma. (Addition to this repost: I still believe this. I still think it’s just information overload. That’s why he’s not waking up with skk. We were told about this for a reason and given Fyodor is old af it makes sense he as SO MUCH information to go through)

As Ango explained, you can pass out from too much information & Atsushi passed out from a small amount.

Sigma requested to know *everything*. I think Fyodor knew what he knows would fry Sigma’s brain. That said, I think Sigma will wake up.

(Again, addition to this repost: now that we know it’s like hundreds of years of information of course that would be hard for his brian to process)

(I will add to this next bit because we have more information from chapter 113.)

Whatever Sigma learned, he knew he had to tell the agency right away. He obviously knows more than just how Fyodor’s ability works but i’m sure he thinks the agency needs to know something *specific* he learned about Fyodor and/or his plans & ability.

(Addition: It’s interesting Sigma said this given he’s only *just now* going through Fyodor’s memories and seeing how old actually Fyodor is. I wonder if that is what he wants to tell them or if it’s *how* Fyodor is so old that he feels must be shared with the agency. I feel it’s definitely Sigma wants to tell them that he knows *how* Fyodor is that old. As he says “I know *what* Dostoyevsky really is. Not who, *what* he is. Interesting.)

—

Back to the main point, assuming his ability wasn’t used on Sigma (it wasn’t), Fyodor hasn’t used his ability to kill ability users.

He shot Dazai’s accomplice, he “shot” Katai as well. He manipulated Ace into killing himself. He wanted these people dead, why not use his ability?

Chuuya & Nikolai touched him without anything happening. Of course like I said, Fyodor can either control his ability or it’s selective on its own. So he could’ve chosen *not* to use it on Chuuya & Nikolai or for some reason his ability just didn’t care about them.

But still, why hasn’t he used it on other gifted? Like the first 3 i listed, he wanted dead right? He also choses to manipulate gifted like Mushitaro or mutilates them like Ivan & we’re not sure if he touched them or not. If he himself did the surgery on Ivan he had to have touched him.

Even with Shibusawa, Fyodor cuts his throat. He doesn’t try to use crime & punishment. Of course, Shibusawa was “dead” already so it could be a different case.

He also never went up against Natsume directly in untold origins, although in the novel Fyodor is only eluded to and we never see. But maybe Natsume is “that man” Fyodor refers to. (Though now it could be Bram given 113?).

You could also throw in Fyodor stabbing Mori instead of using his ability on him in there. But in this case Fyodor’s objective was to pit the ADA & PM against each other so they would take each other out. Though there’s an argument he still could have done that & kill Mori here.

But let’s just assume he didn’t want Mori dead because of his plan to pit the two organizations against each other. So, I won’t touch more on Mori other than he must’ve touched Mori when he stabbed him, but since Fyodor seems to have some control over C&P let’s also say he just didn’t activate it here.

No one knows how Fyodor’s ability works aside Fyodor himself (Sigma might know now, we’ll probably know in a chapter coming up).

Even Dazai, which is why Dazai hasn’t wanted to give him the opportunity to touch him. He’s see what we have, people touching him & dying. So until Dazai knows for sure how his ability works, why risk touching him.

That’s why Dazai was hoping Sigma would help (assuming we believe Dazai when he says he doesn’t know how Fyodor’s ability works).

Sigma should now know both Fyodor’s plans & his ability & i’m sure he’s going to wake up and tell skk. Then Dazai will know.

But what if Fyodor was secretive about his ability because it doesn’t actually work against gifted? He wants ability users gone & it only benefits him for people to believe he can kill anyone with a touch. So why wouldn’t he play into that assumption?

We also haven’t seen too much of his interaction with other DOA members (Addition: aside we now know Fyodor and Bram go way back and Bram may even know more about Fyodor's ability, but he might not). We've only seen Nikolai & Sigma & we only see Sigma touch him once, to get information & Nikolai holding his hands. Nikolai admitted he doesn’t know about Fyodor’s ability either, hence saving Sigma to help.

I believe Fyodor would want to use his ability on gifted if he could, like Ace or Katai etc. People he knew he wanted dead and wouldn’t serve another purpose. But he doesn’t seem to use it. (Again if we have seen him somewhere use it on an ability user please let me know). But since he doesn’t seem to use it on gifted, maybe he just *can’t*.

He could just be choosing not to for all those instances for one reason or another & it does work on gifted and we just haven’t seen it yet. We just don’t really know but I’m sure we will soon.

This is just a fun theory, one that will probably be proven wrong to be honest haha so take it as you will. Everyone has their own interpretations and we will find out in canon soon enough.

[popculturebuffet]

For a new Disney TVA comparison thing, which villain posession plot was the most messed up:

Dipper posessed by Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls

Ludo posessed by Toffee in Star vs the Forces of Evil

Lena posessed by Magica in DuckTales 2017

Marcy posessed by the Core in Amphibia

Hunter posessed by Belos in Owl House

Oh god I thought this would be hard and it is hard to still rank them as I recover from my cold as their all some degree of fucked up. Unlike last time where there were more gaps. But in terms of which is the most fucked up we're going from least to most

5. Ludo: Ludo's is still bad: Toffee gaslit him, used him and the idea of huge gaps in your memory where somoene else was using you is terrifying. See the part of the book of Bill after he and ford break up. While Wakey Wakey Here's a Snakey is hilarious, it quickly shows just how fucking horrible this can be. It's why the concept of symbiote spider-man is used so much. This idea your body isn't your own and something ELSE is doing things is chilling.

That said Ludo makes bottom for one simple reason: while he was manipulated, unlike the rest of these poor children (Ludo is a manchild but still a children), Ludo.. was a tad stupid, going from being horribly manipulated to... being horribly manipulated by the same person but it's more obvious something's shady. He just takes his wand half at face value and dosen't realize shit is fucked till it's too late and FULLY intends to do villianous take over mewni shit. He's sympathetic: Mewni is deeply racist, Ludo had a bad childhood, but it dosen't excuse him deciding to fix things by... attacking a teenager and gladly following Toffee's suggestion to enslave his fellow monster. Ludo gives not one iota of a shit about the political strife. He hates the opression , but wants to be the opressor rather than fix it. He becomes a better person, but the show makes it clear he had a lot of villianous tendencies to either overcome or redirect first. At the time of season 2 while his situation is horrific and h'es pitable but he dosen't start from mostly innocent like the rest of the victims here.

4. Marcy. A shock the darcy thing is second lowest here, but it shows just what a fucke dup baseline we got: Marcy's situation is monsterous: a hive mind of terrible people taking a child as their meat puppet and thin king their HONORING her by letting her join them. Her screams and transformation haunt me and what the core did is fucking ghastly. It's low.. because she can't see it. They section her away because they assume correctly once she has agency she might break off.. and she does. It's fucked up to use someone's body to attack their friends, raze their home dimension and .. well everything. Everything the core did. The core is a bastard and a l ine of bastards and i'ts good it's stuck far away from where it can hurt people. Marcy's only this low because she at least didn't have to watch.

3. Dipper: Dipper is 3rd because there's no personal angle. Like the core Bill did this out of convience. It USED marcy's body against sasha

The top two both have a LOT of abuse and history caked on top and it' swhy these three are lower: Ludo was convient, Marcy was convient and Dipper just happened to be there. What puts dipper in the middle is that while Bill dosen't have a history of abusing dipper, he still DELIGHTS in using his body, saying creepy shit and generally fucking up his life. He's not going out of his way to do it but he's willing to kill a child once he's done using his body and made sure dipper was good and tired before playing him. There's more direct manipulation, more horrifying intent and more horrifying use. It combines the worst of the previous two: using someone's body aginst their loved ones and being a prisoner of your own body.. but unlike Ludo or Marcy dipper has to watch. Speaking of which

2. Lena: Lena and Hunter easily got the top two as their situations are similar: both were raised by abusive monsters , both seen as more extentions of them than actual beings and both tossed aside when it was convient. Lena gets number 2 becaues it's more personal than the previous ones. While Bill's impersonal plan to kill dipper and ruin his life is dark, Magica KNOWS how badly sh'es treated Lena, Knows how badly this will hurt her.. and snatches away her will the second she won't play ball. The second she can make Lena just a puppet she does and the second she can kill her she does. Lena's trapped and she only doesn't get #1, the poor poor traumtized angel because Belos has all this.. and worse.

BElos: Belos easily one this one. Lena was close.. but it was always going to be belos infecting hunter. It has everything lena has: the long train of abuse, the lack of seeing their prey as a person, the sheer calusouness.. but unlike Magica who gets a few taunts but gets wolverined Belos really gets to mak ea meal of how much he dosen't see hunter as a person. He tries murdering the boy outright "I can always make another", then tosses him aside, THEN has the gaul to choose him as his target for body possesion. The rest were all convience... while Belos has an element of that, and Magica and Bill were cruel monsters, belos CHOOSE Hutner. Choose someone he watched as he slowly recovered from the years of abuse and gaslighting Belos placed on the poor child, saw him happy.. and had no shred of empathy. Magica has the same issue, but Magica dosen't try to claim the high ground. She knows what she is. Dosen't make her good. She's still a piece of shit.. btu Belos TRULY thinks he's helping people and that this is justified. That trying to remake his brother only to kill him countlessly was okay. That using Hunters body is okay. He RELISHES in hurting the hexasquad. He enjoys it. He may claim it's a higher goal.. but stealing hunter was both convient.. and payback on a bunch of children for daring ot defy him an dhis brother for daring to defy him. He lies to himself.. but the ham he shows in the fight shows just how much he truly ENJOYS his horrible "duty"... and tha'ts why he earned it. IT's that perosnal fuck you to someone he horribly abused and a bunch of chidlren he all horribly affected in some way. That callousness.

[mimymomo]

It’s truly astounding how the people belittling Fearne’s feelings and growth the most are Fearne fans themselves.

Fearne/Ashley made it explicitly clear that she didn’t want the shard. She stated that it multiple times and went even further to explain that it scared her and TOLD ASHTON that she believed they should take it. They willingly went along with Ashton’s plan because she believed it was the right thing to do but as time went on, she grew more and more concerned but still believed in Ashton who kept telling her it it would be okay, downplayed the consequences (saying his death would be a funny story to tell and that’s all as if them dying wouldn’t be horrible and affect Fearne/the others because they genuinely can’t believe that his life is worth that pain) and said that she promised him.

Fearne said multiple times that Ashton didn’t manipulate her. Ashton wasn’t hiding their intentions from her — he told her the plan, they knew (some of) the risks and Fearne said she went along with it because she thought it was the right move. You’d think Ashton had a gun to her head by the way the fandom is talking about the whole thing!

Yes Ashton was pushing and they never should have kept Fearne from telling the group the truth but she made her choice and it was a bad one out of love and care (and no Ashton did not manipulate her feelings/attraction to them to convince her: Ashton did not and still does not know the full extent of what Fearne felt towards them and when he kissed her, she had already agreed to the ritual and the kiss only made her really second guess).

Now am I saying that she’s equally culpable as Ashton? NO!

Am I saying she owes Ashton an apology? GOD NO! And thank god Ashton told her she didn’t owe them anything, he put her in such a bad situation and that was 95% on them. THEY FUCKED UP BAD AND DESERVED ALL THE TONGUE LASHINGS THEY GOT!

But the way the fandom presents the issue is as if Ashton was this maniacal, evil manipulator who preyed on Fearne solely because she was too good to say no instead of viewing the whole situation as it really is: a man who is fucked up asking someone they trust to join in on their stupidity without fully realizing how much danger, trauma and suffering he is going to put her through.

We can acknowledge that Fearne made a mistake by being complicit and used Ashton plans with the shard to justify (run from) her not having to take it due to her own personal beliefs and fears and use that acknowledgment to further show her growth as a person who will never let herself get thrusted back into that position again. That she can’t blindly trust and follow someone’s self destructive path if it’s gonna lead to her being hurt. This is a good thing! Let Fearne learn and grow from this! That’s what the whole Chetney discussion is about: no one’s blaming her, Ashley’s not dodging anything or protecting Taliesin/Ashton — this is Fearne being honest, taking agency, calling out her actions and growing.

Fearne messed up and was complicit in going along with the plan AND she has every right to be upset with Ashton for what they did and she deserved her apology are two statements that can (and should) coexist!

I’m so tired of people vilifying Ashton and making him come off as this terrible and evil individual when that’s not what this was. They aren’t. And then saying that he was throwing a pity party when in reality they’re coming to the realization that his behavior is his own fault and they can’t keep running and blaming others for the actions he takes and then apologizing and taking responsibility and ownership for what happened and saying they want to be better in the future.

The same fandom that worships the ground Percy steps on despite all the bs he put VM through, actually tried to argue that Essek — a character who due to his own hubris stole a priceless and ancient artifact that was essential to his country’s religious identity and nearly started a whole ass war — wasn’t a war criminal because the Geneva Conventions didn’t exist in Exandria (yes this actually happened to me at one point), seems to be unable to handle Ashton without any sort of empathy or understanding. A character who has been mentioned to be broken (physically mentally and emotionally) with crippling self worth issues who needs to be better in not only how they show they care, but in loving and caring for himself.

These past 2 episodes were so good but gosh some of the reactions have been aggravating

(Maybe I would accept people saying Ashton was manipulative more if they weren’t demonizing him in the same breath and acting as if they’re only only questionable bad egg in Bells Hells…)

[paperstorm]

I rewatched 4x17 and 4x18, last night and man does some of it hit differently knowing the truth. Bridges was the one who suggested to Gabriel that they recruit Carlos, so Gabriel clearly had no idea it was him or he would never have trusted that it came from a good place. And Bridges is so prominent at the funeral - delivering a speech, handing Andrea the flag, talking to Carlos about how proud Gabriel was. It really feels like he's revelling in what he did, and obviously what he did to Gabriel was evil, but what he did to Gabriel's family - especially Carlos over the course of a year and a half - was so vindictive and evil as well. It made my heart hurt when Andrea said it was a beautiful service because I know when she learns the truth she won't feel that way anymore, and Gabriel's family didn't deserve to have those memories sullied.

God I know. It's okay I know they can't fit in everything but dammit do I ever wish we could've gotten to see the scene of Carlos telling Andrea about that. It's such an enormous betrayal and it cuts on so many levels. All the stuff you said plus he's the one who Carlos trusted because he said that guy in 4x18 who Carlos thought was the murderer was innocent and stopped Carlos from doing something horrific he never would have been able to take back. He's someone who Carlos thought was helping his father tackle the systemic racism in the agency that Carlos cared so much about. And all along he's the one who caused them this pain, he manipulated them, he banked on the fact that - just like Carlos said - no one would really care that a brown man had been killed. Like the level of hurt and betrayal that this man caused runs so deep I can't even wrap my head around it, and I wish so much we could've gotten to see Carlos tell his mama. Especially since it's Carlos and no matter what he's going to be blaming himself for not suspecting Bridges sooner or not somehow stopping Gabriel from being shot in the first place and he needs his mom to hold him and tell him that he's good and made her proud.