#there’s smthn inside my brain that has been scratching at the surface and it scares me cause I’m like a bubbly nice lady besides when I get
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#ugh#sneekpeek of art I’m doing involvingimpalement#I almost bought an animal to kill it the other day#there’s smthn inside my brain that has been scratching at the surface and it scares me cause I’m like a bubbly nice lady besides when I get#when I get depressed but then there’s this cold unfeeling like fixation I’ve had lately and idk where it comes from#kinda similar to when I was obsessedly thinking abt commiting a mass[rime back in november#things have gotten better than then though#so that’s good but it seems to be getting louder and I’m considering like meticulously covering my leg with scratches that are parallel#different from the usual like physical self harm I do that’s like slashes or whatever#just all the way down#but when I’d pee it would be visible and when I am intimate with my fiance so idk#might involve him just so I don’t completely revolt him#I need it idk how to explain might spam some mental health posts to describe
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