#there’s no way in hell my first thoughts of my future husband-JEWISH one at that would that make him a fucking monster

[okurrroye]

The only correct response from Clara finding out Jonah was hunting nazis should’ve been

“WITHOUT ME?!”

[fuckingthefictional]

Runaway Lovers

Pairing: Finn Shelby x reader

Warnings: Swearing, suggestions regarding to sex, crap writing?

Requested: yes, part two requested by @hamdehlesmis

A/N: for the part where Finn writes a letter, I’ve made it so the writing is more phonics based. Because I find it unrealistic to have a character who is illiterate to suddenly start reading and writing with the knowledge of perfect grammar and spelling.

Alfie Solomons was a name that struck cold fear into some on the toughest of men.

His cool and calculating gaze was enough to send uneasy chills up anyone’s spine.

He was a man who had red on his ledger and the mighty hand of God on his side.

To most he was a cold and calculating gang leader- with the proclivity of making violent, rash decisions that mainly benefited himself and anyone lucky enough to be considered a friend.

And most were not lucky enough to have that benefit.

Y/N Y/L/N was lucky to be considered a friend- more accurately she was a close relative of the Jewish gang leader.

Alfie’s Mother, was the sister of Y/N’s mother. The two women were close, but drifted apart after they were married to their respective husbands. Only to reunite during the Great War.

That was the first time Y/N had been in proper contact with her mothers side of the family- and thank God she continued to stay in contact with them.

Otherwise her and Finn would’ve been rendered homeless and well and truly fucked.

Y/N forced herself to drag her thoughts away from what would have been, and instead focused on the passing green pasteurs that sped past the train cars window.

The lack of pollution was obvious and made a huge difference. She was able to see the colours of the night sky, along with the scattered stars- such things that felt as if they didn’t exist in Small Heath.

Y/N felt a soft kiss on a stray patch of bare skin below her ear and at the top of her jawline. Finn.

“Stop stressing love, we’ll be okay.”

It was like he had read her mind, “‘m not stressing.” She mumbled into her palm.

“If you aren’t stressing then how come your leg is bouncing?” Finn chuckled as he pressed another kiss to her temple.

Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course he would pick up on the finer details, it was just another reason why she loved him.

It wasn’t long before the train pulled into Camden Town Station. The whole station seemed to be rather empty- apart from one man who seemed to be waiting for the trains arrival.

He was an older gentleman, who had a scraggly beard and clutched a cane. His face was partially covered from the hat that topped his head. But on his chest, he proudly bore a necklace that held the Star of David.

It was Alfie.

He had changed a lot, the pictures that Y/N had been shown of him depicted him to be younger, lacking a beard. But the face was the same.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” The older man addressed her, a slight smirk on his face, “My god ‘ow you’ve grown- I remember when you were a bloody babe.”

She turned to Finn, a soft smile gracing her features, “Love this is Alfie, my cousin.”

Both men shook hands, each of them sizing the other up.

“Thank you for letting us stay with you.” Finn nodded at the older man, “we really appreciate it.”

“‘S nothin’ alright?” Alfie boomed loudly, “any person whose a friend of our Y/N/N is a friend of mine- now let’s get your stuff back to my ‘Ouse ‘ey?”

The two teenagers followed the older man, out of the station, their hands interlocked- ready for this next chapter of their lives.

It was difficult not knowing what their future held. And what they would face in this grey part of their lives, but Finn and Y/N knew they were lucky.

Lucky to have a place to stay, lucky to be in London. And most of all: lucky to be with each other.

-

Two months later Y/N and Finn were still as strong as ever, and the pair of them had both gotten jobs in Camden Town.

Finn working down at the docks, where he loaded Alfie’s spirits into the boats that would travel across the Atlantic.

Finn had been clear with his girlfriend’s cousin that he wanted no part in the extremely illegal parts of the business. In other words he didn’t want to be a front runner, Finn was quite happy working behind the scenes or on the sidelines. Doing the smaller less risky jobs that helped boost business.

Thankfully Alfie has agreed with him, saying, “If I got you in trouble yeah, or you got fuckin’ hurt- then my cousin would have my balls hanging up above the fuckin’ fireplace.”

Y/N however had a different job role. As she helped run the books, Y/N had her mothers brains, math was her forte and not to mention her and Alfie were close, and her older cousin kept her well protected and safe.

Their jobs weren't particularly high paid and they’d told Alfie that they didn’t want special treatment when it came to their pay- either way they made enough to pay their part on rent at Alfie’s house (which usually meant paying for the food and occasionally the hot water bill).

But neither Finn or Y/N were disappointed, they were employed and bringing in an income. That was more than they’d done in small Heath.

“Y’know, I finally feel like I’m apart of something,” Finn mumbled as he kissed down Y/N’s bare back, “I finally feel wanted by others, that aren’t You, Ada or Pol.”

“Finn,” The girl sighed as she turned over to face him, “You have no idea how much purpose you bring to other people.” Y/N stroked his hair softly, feeling the bouncy curls slip between her finger tips, “Finn because of you, Alfie is finally reconnecting with his blood relatives- he said that if this hadn’t happened, then he was willing to give up on family. And by coming away from the life you had in Small Heath you’re making Ada feel better about her role as a big sister.”

Finn was in a semi state of shock, he had no idea he had made that much of an impact, “And you?” He asked.

“God Finn,” Y/N pressed her forehead to his, “ever since you pulled me back from that drunk driver, I knew that my life was going to be flipped upside down- that I was going to fall in love.” She licked her lips, “I can’t imagine my life without you- you’re my constant, my everything, the love of my life.”

The auburn haired boy pulled his girl close to his chest, peppering sweet kisses to her hairline, “I love you pretty girl.”

“And I you, Freckles.”

“D’you think we should come clean to Alfie- about my family I mean.” Finn chewed on his lips nervously.

Y/N sighed, “I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow, but for now my love we should get some sleep.”

-

Knock, knock, knock

It was one of those rare days that Alfie was working from home, Y/N had overheard his doctor telling Alfie that he needed to take it easy and rest more.

So of course Y/N forced him to stay at home. It was odd really, the pair had only reconnected a few months ago. But already it felt as if Alfie was coming into the older brother role in Y/N’s life, whereas she was the persuasive younger sister that Alfie never had growing up.

Their dynamic was one that many had never seen, there was constant teasing and banter between the two. And Y/N had been the only one to make demands from the big scary gang leader and live to tell the tale.

“Come in.” Alfie’s muffled voice came from behind the other side of the door.

As Y/N entered the office while balancing a tea tray on her arm, when she looked up she noticed her cousin sat at his desk with his specs on, Cyril layed down at his feet.

“Morning, Alf.” Y/N smiled warmly, “I’ve brought you some tea and biscuits.” She sat down opposite him, as he started across the desk accusingly.

“What do yer want aye?” Alfie squinted his eyes, “you only ever bring me stuff when yer tryna butter me up.”

“Well Is it working?” Y/N looked at her cousin as he poured himself a cup and necked down a biscuit.

“Depends that dunnit.” Alfie responded, raising his brow.

“Well I have some news,” Y/N started fidgeting with her hands, “Some news you might not take too well.”

“Fuckin’ hell- you’re not up the bloody duff are yer?”

The teenager promptly felt herself choke on her own spit, “What?” She shouted, her eyes as round as saucers, “No!” Y/N attempted to recompose herself, “Look What I was trying to get at is that Finn belongs to a family that weren’t good to him, he ran away from his old life after his brother tried to force us apart. And we talked last night about finally coming clean to you Alf, because we appreciate all you’ve done for us and we don’t feel like we’re being truthful and-“

“Y/N!” Alfie cut off her ranted speech, “I know that Finn is a Shelby.” He stated simply, “Do you really think I don’t do background checks on my workers Y/N/N?”

“And you’re okay with him?” Y/N was still in a state of shock,

“Well,” Alfie leant forwards, “ma always taught us to not judge a book by the pissin’ cover aye? Sometimes that shit also includes certain family names.” He paused, pondering what to say next, “Look I kept an eye out for the lad in the first few weeks yous stayed ‘ere, in case there was some spyin’ goin’ on. But there wasn’t, it was just a lovestruck boy who’s willin’ to do anythin’ to make ‘is girl happy. So as far as I’m concerned Y/N/N, he’s a new branch in the Solomons family.”

Y/N could feel happy tears brimming in her eyes, she finally saw what Finn meant. She felt like she mattered, like she had purpose for the first time in a very long time.

-

Two months. It had been two months since Finn had just up and left. Tommy didn't think that his youngest sibling what actually hold to his word- he didn't think that Finn of all people would actually quit the family buisness and leave small heath. 

And with all of that considered, Tommy didn't know where the fuck Finn had gone. And that was a first in Tommy’s experience- he didn't know something. 

It was incredibly frustrating and not to mention Polly was in bits since Finn had just gone missing in action. It wasn't hard to see that there was a soft spot in his aunts heart for the youngest Shelby.

He’d had men search every major city in Britain, knowing Finn couldn’t have strayed too far off the beaten path.

The youngest Shelby never was one for spontaneity, he was too much like his mother for that- he liked to have a plan set out in front of him.

But what made the situation all the more complicated was the war Tommy had made on Sabini, if Finn was in London then there was a large chance that he was in danger.

Tommy didn’t want more blood on his hands, he didn’t know if he could handle more blood on his hands.

-

Dear Pol,

This leter wil onlie be short, but its a leter non the less. All you need to no is that I am safe and happie, and hav started a new life for myself. If you want to meet, then go to Ada’s on Saterday and i will meet you there.

Lots of luv and take care,

Finn

P.S- Y/N is teeching me to reed and rite, it is a work in progres- but I am lerning!

Polly grinned at the letter in front of her, it was most definitely her nephew. Despite it being in letter form, his mannerisms and language hasn’t changed.

The older woman could feel her heart swell with pride for her youngest nephew, deep down Polly knew that the Blinder lifestyle wasn’t for him.

Finn was like Ada in that way- he followed his heart. And his heart has chosen a different path than his brothers.

Polly set the letter down on her desk as she pondered what her next course of action would be, obviously she was going to Ada’s to meet her nephew on the Saturday.

However she was met with the dilemma of how she could get it past Tommy.

One one hand, Tommy was the patriarch of the family- Polly knew that she was practically obligated to tell her older nephew her plans and whereabouts.

But on the other hand, Finn was safe. He was free from a dangerous life, he was happy and he had started a new path.

And that was more than anything Tommy could offer the lad. Polly knew that Finn valued his freedom and happiness over all the money in the world.

Pulling out a cigarette, Polly fiddled with the small stick of tobacco. After igniting it, she took a deep inhale, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs.

Every piece of her heart and soul was telling her to keep Finn safe. Maybe that was just the mother hen in Polly- but she was certain on one thing.

Thomas Shelby was going to learn to live with his actions and consequences of his words, because Polly had no intention of saying a word about Finn’s whereabouts.

Peaky blinders taglist:

@simonsbluee

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.

[steverogersified]

So there's a lot of hate and bad word going around about ta nehisi coates writing captain america... A lot of people say he's SJW-like and that he hates America and stuff. Although he's written and said some things that make me question his thought process and morals (talking about being 'radicalized', odd things about the firefighters on 9/11), I think he's a good writer for cap. Coates recognizes that America isn't a perfect place, and he's like Cap in that respect.

Coates is an excellent choice for Cap and here’s why I feel this way:

The entire point of Steve Rogers is a defender of the ostracized and maligned. When Kirby and Simon created him America had not yet joined the war. Moreover - and this is something most people ignore when telling the story of Cap’s creation - the American government refused to come out and make a definitive statement decrying Hitler and what he was doing in Europe. And, like today, that inactivity on the governments part spoke volumes. Enough so that Nazi sympathizers within America felt… emboldened (sound familiar?).

Enter Jacob Kurtzberg and Hymie Simon stage left. These two Jewish men, first generation American born in Kurtzberg’s (Kirby’s) case, decided that if America wouldn’t make a statement one way or the other regarding Hitler, then they sure as hell would. And that statement was Captain America, who, on his very first cover, was drawn punching Hitler in the face.

And for this Kirby and Simon received hate and death threats by the Nazi sympathizers in America. In fact the hate they received was so bad that the city of New York assigned a police guard to Timely’s (re:Marvel) offices. 

And all of this is my glorified way of saying that Captain America was created to be a social justice warrior and an ally. On purpose. And with full intent by his creators and like Coates, Kirby and Simon had their share of detractors. It didn’t stop them and it shouldn’t stop Coates.

And most (with a few exceptions) Cap writers have respected the character’s original purpose… to be an ally for the oppressed. Stan Lee gave Steve the first African-American superhero as a partner, not sidekick, but partner, Lee was very insistent on this distinction (thus the Cap title became Captain America and the Falcon), in Sam Wilson during the Civil Rights movement. Writer DeMatteis addressed the misconceptions against the LGBT community during the height of the AIDS crises in 1980, and he did this by making Steve’s childhood best friend and protector, Arnie Roth, gay. And when Steve found out Arnie was gay?  Didn’t change his feelings for Arnie at all, in fact, he was protective of Arnie and heralded Arnie’s loving relationship with common-law husband Michael as relationship goals. Again this was done intentionally as DeMatteis wanted to use Steve’s acceptance of Arnie as an example for others to follow. Both Steve Englehart and Mark Gruenwald had Steve turn away from the American government whenever the governments practices got out of line, such as with Watergate and Reagan’s dependence on semi-martial law.

My point is, the entire purpose of Steve is to defend the underdog and who better to voice how an ally should ally than a minority? Frankly, it was long past due for a black man to take the helm of the Cap comic. Long past. And I’d like to see more differing voices writing Cap in the future, after Coates’ long and successful run.

And Coates is a superb fit for Cap for more than just his status as a minority, but because he is someone who has particular insight into parts of America that other Cap writers haven’t, and who has written, and won awards, on the topic. If Cap is to represent America, he needs to represent ALL of America. Including exposing the ugly bits America, itself, tries to hide. 

Plus Coates, himself, seems excited to tackle Steve, in fact, I read on twitter that he showed up at Midtown Comics to see how the release day was going yesterday. I love that he’s so into it. He seems really passionate and his answers in interviews have all been really thoughtful.

I’m sorry this got so long @madoka-magica-is-dead - I’m sure it’s a more thorough answer than you wanted. But honestly, anyone who is against Coates writing Cap because Coates is considered SJW or because he’s too political, have missed the entire point of the Captain America comics and Steve Rogers and I honestly doubt if they’ve ever truly actually read a Cap comic. Cap *is* an SJW, he was *invented* to be an SJW, and his book has always been political and has been from day one. The political messages in the Cap comics haven’t even been subtle, for cryin’ out loud. Like what did these ‘no politics in comics’ people think Nomad was about when it coincidentally happened at the same time as Watergate and mirrored the story almost exactly?!

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I am excited that Coates is on Cap and I have faith that he’ll do a great job. The first issue was an excellent start.It’s great to hear you are optimistic, too. Those other people don’t know what they are talking about. I try not to gatekeep or anything, because I recognize that doing so is insufferable (I don’t want to stoop to their level), but honestly, they should actually read the material before they write-off a writer as being too political, seriously! They sure picked the wrong character to take that particular stance on. 

[eretzyisrael]

The Jewish Food Society wants to preserve your grandma’s recipes — before they’re lost forever By Josefin Dolsten

August 25, 2017 1:12pm

TENAFLY, N.J. (JTA) — Ayala Hodak usually cooks the way her mother taught her: adding a pinch of spice here or relying on her eyes — never a measuring cup! — to judge how much liquid to add.

But on a recent Tuesday, she was being much more meticulous.

At her spacious home in this suburban town less than 15 miles from New York City, Hodak, 52, who grew up in an Iranian family in Israel, measured the amount of salt and pepper she added to a stew. She also paused to demonstrate how thickly to cut a piece of beef.

Her reason for the precision: Hodak’s recipe was being recorded by a new nonprofit, the Jewish Food Society, which aims to be an archive of Jewish recipes from around the world.

Its kibbutz-born founder, who once promoted Israeli culture as an employee of the Israeli Consulate in New York, was inspired by the diversity of food traditions in Israel and her desire to preserve them in the Diaspora.

“I realized there is an urgency in capturing these stories because the older generation is about to leave the world, and many of these recipes are labor- and time-consuming in a way that we should really protect them,” the society’s founder, Naama Shefi, told JTA. “These are skills that would just disappear if no one could capture them in a methodic way.”

The project, which launched officially in March and receives financial support from several Jewish foundations, has added over a dozen recipes to its online archive, and more are on the way. Along with the recipes are photographs and stories of the cook’s family history, as well as how he or she learned to make the dish.

Each week, the group interviews a chef and takes down his or her story. If distance permits, a New York- or Israel-based employee will meet with the cook in person; if not, they communicate long distance. All ingredients are measured, and dishes are then re-created in a test kitchen and adjusted accordingly.

(Continue to site for a video of a recipe)

Though some participants work in the food industry — Hodak is the manager and co-owner of Taboon, a Hell’s Kitchen restaurant serving Middle Eastern and Mediterranean-inspired food — others are home cooks.

Shefi, 36, came up with the idea after a Shabbat meal in 2005 at the home of her now-husband’s grandmother, who was born in Turkey but also lived in Greece and South Africa prior to immigrating to Israel with her family.

“The flavors really represented all of their previous immigration stories and journeys, and some worlds that do not even exist anymore,” said Shefi, who lives on New York’s Lower East Side. “It was such a vivid expression of disappearing worlds, and of bitter and sweet memories. It was just moving, so I told him, let’s just spend a day with her try to capture a few recipes. It was just really inspiring.”

Shefi has always had an interest in food, though she did not get it at home.

“Good food wasn’t part of my childhood,” said Shefi, who grew up on Kibbutz Givat Hashlosha in central Israel. “Between the [kibbutz’s] communal dining room and the fact that my mom is not the best cook in the world, good food was out of reach.”

But as a young girl, she would urge her parents to take her to Tel Aviv’s Carmel Market or a nearby Yemenite neighborhood to try different types of cuisines.

“It became my life’s passion,” Shefi said. “At the beginning just because it tasted really good, but later because I realized it tells a fantastic story about families and people and cultures.”

In 2008, when she took the consulate job, she could use that passion in a professional way. Having just graduated from the New School with a master’s degree in film, Shefi was tasked with promoting Israeli culture. She decided to do so through food, hosting Israel-themed dinners, wine tastings and panels in New York. She also organized trips to the Jewish state for American food writers.

In 2013, Shefi launched the Kubbeh Project, a three-week pop-up in the East Village serving kubbeh soup, an Iraqi Jewish dish featuring meat-filled semolina dumplings in vegetable broth. The project received wide media coverage and had people lining up for hours for a taste of the delicacy.

“The first day I came to the venue at 2 p.m., I saw this line around the block, almost like a ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ line,” she said, referring to the popular free performances in Central Park. “And I was just amazed that these people are waiting for us. This line never stopped for these three weeks and people stood hours and hours in the snow.”

Hodak’s ghormeh sabzi, a beef stew with herbs that is served with rice. (Josefin Dolsten)

Now the Jewish Food Society, for which Shefi works full time, provides a way to combine her two passions: food and storytelling.

“For a while I was really interested in storytelling through filmmaking,” she said. “Still my main interest is storytelling, but the medium changed to food.”

In addition to the weekly cooking session, the nonprofit puts on larger-scale events, such as a Passover sederthat showcased three Mexico-born Jewish chefs, and Schmaltzy, a yearly storytelling event where people share the stories behind family recipes. A Moroccan-style Mimouna, a bread-filled celebration held the day after Passover, is in the works, Shefi said.

Her family are Polish Jews, not Sephardi, but Shefi said such distinctions blur in Israeli kitchens.

“Israel is a not just a melting pot, it’s a pressure cooker, so a Polish girl like me considered kubbeh as my own,” she told The New York Times.

Shefi’s long-term goal for the Jewish Food Society extends beyond the archive of recipes. She wants to establish a center for Jewish food in New York, where visitors would be able to take cooking classes and learn about their family’s culinary histories. Shefi describes her vision as “the James Beard Foundation for Jewish food.”

For now, the Jewish Food Society provides a way for Jews to engage with their culture, Shefi said.

“These [recipes and stories] are just huge parts of our lives, of our history as a people, and I feel that for many people that are less connected to Jewish culture and Jewish life, it’s a very inviting window to engage and to explore their identity,” she said.

Food also provides a lens through which to understand Jewish history, she added.

“I feel that recipes really carry our cultural DNA because they tell stories not just about a particular time in history, but also about how people used to live, how people used to celebrate, how people used to mourn, how people used to get together,” Shefi said. “It’s not just about the flavor and the food, it’s really about the experience.”

For her part, Hodak is excited to have her mother’s dishes — including ghormeh sabzi, a herb beef stew that her family would eat for Shabbat dinner, and a yogurt soup with cucumber and mint eaten on Shavuot — recorded for future generations.

“I thought it’s a great opportunity to spread my tradition,” she said, “to talk about my mother’s food and to keep it alive.”

[iammarylastar]

The Exception part 2: The run.

He squeezed her hand tighter in his. Shifting his body to scoot closer to her, he wrapped her securely in his arm, keeping them from jerking as the car swerved sharply to the right.

“It’s OK Mieke. Everything’s gonna be fine.” He drew his lips into a reassuring smile. But his eyes told her another story.

Gripping her rounded belly, she tried her best to suppress the grimace from her tired face.

Her back and abdomen hurt like hell but she never would let him know. Stefan was too anxious about the baby and their escape out of England, he could have cancelled the whole thing if he had known. She tried to relax her tensed body but the pain was alarmingly growing higher. Breathe Mieke!

“Cameron easy!” Stefan patted the driver’s shoulder. He too would be more comfortable if their friend could slow down a bit. Not that he wanted to enjoy the view, no, it was the middle of the night, but the relentless rough slalom started to get him sick. And guessing the discomfort through Mieke’s face didn’t help. He needed a smoke, so badly, but he was cursed with bad timing. Again.

“Sorry guys” the man answered “I’m doing my best with what’s left of that damn road. It’s like moles had invaded London and had fun to drill holes every fucking inch.” He glanced in the rear-view mirror and apologized for the curse. “Sorry Mieke…”

She swallowed a smirk, in a lame attempt to forgive him. As if it mattered. Moles. Everyone would have rather liked moles’ holes.

But it wasn’t. London had been under attack for months now. More than a year has gone by since England had declared war against Germany and its insane leader. The situation was going worse and worse not only in England but everywhere in Europe. That’s what motivated them to leave. Mieke didn’t want to give birth to their unexpected first child in a country in war.

War reminded her painful memories. Both her father and her first husband were killed. But first and foremost, she hated that awful Aryan race theory and the inhuman hunt for the Jewish people. Her people. She ceased to believe in God, after all the atrocities she had witnessed and those Stefan told her about the first world war, but Jewish blood was still running in her veins and through their growing child.

Stefan was not afraid by the war, he had been a soldier his entire life, ready to die for the Fatherland. But now that the poor Fatherland had become insane and cruel, his priorities had changed. He was devoted to her wife, body and soul and nothing else mattered than run for cover and offer a safer and saner place to settle his family.

When it came clear they couldn’t stay here, they both decided to try their luck in America. A country with better ideals and aspirations than bombing and destruction. The country of second chance and promised new start.

Through the decision was easy, taking flight was harder, mostly in circumstances of war. They were not the only candidates to exile and finding a boat to New York and enough money to bribe the right pen pusher and pay for the smuggler had been quite difficult. But they had connections. Thanks to Mieke’s job for the English crown, they had been provided with authentic falsified documents in a record time and for a reasonable price. And they had Cameron. He proposed a bunch of names which sounded more English than Brandt. America opened its arms to Jewish people, running for their lives, but unlikely to former German officers under Hitler’s command. Changing their names was the better way to avoid questioning and more troubles, even if it hurt Stefan to agree with the fact his son wouldn’t carry his real name.

Cameron was their neighbour, Wilma’s son precisely. He was a carpenter and often asked Stefan to give him a hand on a jobsite. He was kind enough to keep the hardest tasks for himself, Stefan’s condition kept him from carrying what’s heavy or hammerinĝ for too long. Besides that, Stefan was very capable and handy. He paid well and was always the life of the party. His great sense of humour fit Stefan’s and the pair had Mieke laughed out loud, which was music to their ears. Wilma lived next door, literally and was a delightful old lady, even if the loss of her two younger sons at the battlefield had diminished her. Far away from being a weak grandma, she was a strong, hilarious and loving woman, maybe a little bit too crazy when her brain played tricks. As a former self-made midewife, she showered Mieke with advices and old wives cures and predicted a boy. Which Mieke and Stefan took as fact, since Wilma was known to be unfailing. The aromatic herbs she prescribed to cure Mieke’s nauseas at the early stage of her pregnancy worked magic and since she advised that having sex was good for the baby, Stefan would agree with anything she’d say.

They finally reached the harbour, Cameron driving slowly and lightless along the docks, not to draw attention on them.

He finally stopped at the right spot of the loading area, where the next contact was supposed to wait for them and help them to board surreptitiously.

The cold air of February hit them as they get out of the car and despite her heavy coat, Mieke shivered. Stefan immediately wrapped her to warm her up, gently stroking her back, soothing both her pain and misery. He could have allowed himself that smoke he was craving but couldn’t resign himself to let go of her. She was cold and frightened, he had to be there and protect her.

Mieke felt better with her husband blanketed around her, whispering some comforting words in her ear. She melted into him, savouring this last moment of calm before the storm. Time has come to say goodbye, to England and Cameron. Through she felt thankful to this great country which welcomed her pregnant then married, leaving Cameron behind, unsure of his future and safety, pretty sure to never see him again, left her heartbroken and in tears.

“Take care love ” Cameron just uttered, stealing her from Stefan’s grip. “Travel safe and give us news when you arrive in New York.” He pulled her back just to cup her soaked face and stared at her intensely. “And keep that baby at bay for the next two weeks, so he could be born in America.” He shoved his hand in the inside pocket of his coat and handed her a paper-wrapped package, tied with a thin rope. “Mom did that for the baby. She told me to pass on her wishes of good fortune and happiness. She insisted on me to deliver her exact words. ‘I love you guys like you were my own children. This boy is somehow my grandchild and I want him safe and warm.’ He flatted his hand over her belly. ‘Travel safe my angels. I’ll pray for you every day until I get good news. And Curtis is the name you’ll give him.”

Mieke chuckled between her silent sobs and cries. Wilma harassed them with that particular name, arguing it sounded the utmost English name ever. Cameron laughed so hard at her mother, confessing the couple it was the name of her late dog.

'Yes, but it was the nicest and smartest dog ever. I pray your son to be like him.’ Wilma so seriously answered.

Mieke laughed so hard she nearly peed herself and ran to the water closet as fast as her swollen stomach allowed her. Stefan hurt himself laughing, hitting his scar in the movement. They hadn’t opted for Curtis yet.

Cameron released his grip on Mieke, only after wiping warm tears from her cheeks. “Don’t be sad love. Everything gonna be fine.” He whispered. Clinging to the package he had given her like it was a silver lining, arms tightly crossed over her breast, she nodded, sniffing.

Facing Stefan, Cameron opened his arms, welcoming his best friend inside his embrace. “Bro!” Was all he could say. Stefan hugged him back, patting his shoulder, eyes wide shut to prevent more tears to flow.

“Be careful brother. Make sure your wife is safe.” He advised in his ear.

“Will do Cam’. But be careful yourself and stop calling my wife love, OK ?” he warned, joking.

“That’s fair I guess. But you’re the next on my list. Wouldn’t it sound too viral if I’d call you love? In front of your wife?”

Stefan would have barked a laugh in other ordinary circumstances, but he wasn’t in the mood. He drew an honest smirk on his face and just bit his lower lip, his fierce stare showing his deep gratitude.

Stefan knew something was wrong. The guy was late, and it made him nervous. Mieke was chilled to the bone, her lips turning blue, shivering.

Where the fuck was he?

Turning his back to Cameron, he grabbed the only two luggage they allowed themselves to take for this one way trip.

“Travel light” his wife joked, gathering selected pieces they had to bring: underwear, dresses, some of his shirts and pants. Their wedding pic, because “your smile is to die for” she would say. A book. Nietzche’s “Beyond good and evil” with the note which changed their lives handwritten in the cover page. Two necklaces he offered her, one for Christmas, the other 'for no reason but I love you’. Toiletries. Food. Few items for the baby.

“New life. New start. New stuff.” She sang. “You have me, you don’t need anything more.” He agreed, catching her by the waist and bending her on the bed, him on top of her, devouring her neck with wet kisses while she shrieked and laughed out of loud.

He relaxed at the sweet memory of their past months together, happy and carefree , like any newlywed couple in constant honeymoon should be. Whistles code followed by heavy footsteps startled him and he immediately stepped forward to protect his wife.

“Nathan!” Cameron called in a loud whisper. “OK guys. It’s time. Good luck my friends. I hope to see you again. On this life or the next one. Love you!” His voice trembled and he quickly hopped in the car and disappeared in the darkness of the cold night.

Stefan gathered his thoughts, courage, package and wife altogether and walked towards the shadow standing still, half hidden next to the pile of wooden boxes. Stepping closer, he noticed the frown on the cold face of the man. He didn’t look menacing, but seriously pissed off.

The boat had left hours ago. Authorities had received a message that air raids were feared on the port at the crack of dawn and the American staff decided to protect the cargo. And ruin their plan. Though he didn’t deliver many, Nathan was a man of his words. He was paid to afford them a way out from this shitty war, he had to do so.

“Plan has changed.” He coldly mumbled.

The lady was obviously at a late stage of pregnancy, his first plan to make them climb the ship was definitely out of the realm of possibility. It would have been already dangerous for the man who looked strong but the pretty lady would never have made it. Shit. They have to hurry and move on.

Nathan thought quickly. There was another ship leaving soon to America. New York or Boston. Whatever. He couldn’t remember the name of that damn boat but knew where it was anchored. He had loaded a shitload of whiskey a couple of days ago, Prohibition had its good side even after it ended. Long list of wealthy clients, satisfied by the quality of his products and the trustworthiness of their deals.

“It’s a long way. Watch over your lady.” He grabbed one of the suitcases from the man’s hand and started to walk swiftly. They had a long way to go and he’d better carry the case than the woman. Stefan held his wife by the waist and followed the smuggler’s steps. He would thank him later for all his kind gestures.

Mieke carried her heavy belly and clenched her teeth. The fast pace was hard to handle but she had to make it. Her gaze focused on the man’s steps, her head down her shoulders, she tried her best to ignore the awful pain that cut her legs off. Stefan felt her weakness and tightened his hold on her. His shoulders and arms burned like hell and he’d rather have dropped the case to carry his wife in his arms but they really needed those stuff.

After fifteen minutes of running, nobody was cold anymore. Nathan never stopped walking, glancing nervously behind his shoulder to check on the young couple. The lady had her face closed, frowning. Her husband silently leading her the fastest she could.

They finally arrived at the feet of a monstrous ship of steel. Mieke lifted her head up to gauge the building’s height which got her dizzy. Her knees got weak under her, hopefully Stefan watched her back and kept her from falling.

“Mieke!” He almost cried out, as she fainted in his arms. Nathan froze. That was the worst place to stop, uncovered. He yanked at the luggage still stuck in the man’s hand and resumed walking. Stefan slided his arms under Maike’s knees and back and held her tight against his chest, her head resting in the crook if his neck.

“Down!” Nathan ordered after he made sure the footbridge was free. He rushed, squatting, Stefan on his heels. His arms were stones, tugging on his neck, and his thighs screamed out from the effort they had to endure, pulling Stefan’s and her unconscious wife’s weight up the rail. A sharp pain stabbed his abdomen, making him put one knee on the ground. Panting, hissing, he bit a scream back, shutting his eyes tight, adding more flashes and stars behind his eyelids. He won’t allow himself to fail so he tightened his grip on Mieke and stood up again. The wound on his belly tore him awfully, his forces leaving him thoroughly. Grunting deep in his throat, swallowing the jerk in his stomach and he forced himself up. Fighting for balance, he kept moving forward, step by step.

In this early morning, it was highly unlike they meet anyone from the staff, but they were not safe from a morning pee or a sleeplessness walk. Crouching, Nathan glanced quickly at the empty deck.

“Alright?” He whispered to Stefan. No. It wasn’t alright. He wasn’t good. Sweating and trembling from the unsustainable pain that wrecked his abdomen, he nonetheless nodded. They were nearly done, he had to handle the last meters which would lead them in a safe place.

Then he could rest, cry and breathe. But not now. Bad timing again. He followed the man through an endless maze of straight and empty corridors. His whole body was betraying him, the pain creeping through his veins. Each step was the very last he could bear but he kept walking, fighting the urge to throw up. Mieke started to writhe and moan under his neck, coming back to life. Mieke. He had to fight more for her. He would have given anything for his wife and that’s exactly what he was doing. Fighting for her and the baby she was carrying. Fighting for his family.

Nathan cursed under his breath. He was lost in this inextricable labyrinth of closed doors. He couldn’t recognize the right way to reach the room where he had stored a hundred boxes of the precious Scotch goods. Time was running and he had to find out somewhere to settle his clients on the run. The lower deck. Downstairs. There was always abandoned places near the encore room. And the woman would be kept warm. They were all soaked to the skin from their run and that freezing cold in the winter air would surely kill her from fever. He doubted the bags he was holding and warm blanket or dry coats in them. Not that he cared that much, but he was paid for a job and he always had the job done and well done. Which include having his clients on board and alive. Plus the lady was pretty and already exhausted from both her pregnancy and the flight. He smirked. He cared, somehow.

They passed the door of the engine room and Nathan opened the next one and eyes inside. Empty room as expected. He pointed his chin, glancing towards the room and the man walked inside, finally allowing himself to lift his wife down her feet.

Stefan sighted heavily, made sure Mieke was safely settled on her feet before kneeling down, one hand flat on the wall whilst tightening his grip over his wound. Groaning and hissing painfully, he shut his eyes, his face twisting in an awful grimace. Mieke lightly stroked his head, wrapping her hands lovingly around his face and pulling him closer in a sweet hug. A loud grunt ran through his throat and he let out the tears that waited under his eyelids for so long.

When he was finally able to catch his breath, the pain fading away and now more bearable, he stood up and wrapped his arms around Mieke. Hugging her body the tightest he could without harming her still weak self, he buried his face in her hair, tangling his fingers inside. Once her scent and her breath in his neck finished to strengthen him, soothing the pain in his abdomen faster than expected, he pulled back a little to stare at her, his eyes roaming all over her beautiful face. Cupping her wet cheeks, he wandered his thumb along her trembling, almost blue lips. He gently captured her mouth in a slow kiss before reluctantly pulling back again.

“Take off your clothes.” He whispered, his tone unwillingly more sulky than he meant.

Mieke gasped, then chuckled. Stroking her full rounded belly, she jokingly teased :

“Look at what happened last time you asked me that…”

Stefan paused, confused then laughed lightly.

“Naughty you. You’re freezing woman. I just wanted to warm you before you get sick.”

She even hadn’t realized she was shaking with cold and grinned at her husband, already busy to undress. He then gave her a hand to get rid of her coat he dropped to the side before working on the buttons of her dress.

Standing still, Mieke let her husband pulling her dress over her head and melted into his embrace, her forehead resting against his broad, bare chest. His warmth deliciously invaded her as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer.

“Warm me up you, big stud.” She teased, racking her nails up his spine.

He laughed heartily; relieved to hear she was fine. Mieke always teased him, she was good at it and always had him turned on. Their little game often ended under the sheets -or anywhere else- they made a good match. She wasn’t shy in bed, from the very beginning, much to his delight. But it was not the right time. Bad timing for the umpteeth time today. They were both vulnerable and exhausted. They really needed to rest. He felt Mieke suddenly stiffen against him and became aware she was crying. Coming back to his sense, he rocked her gently and kissed the top of her head.

“You’re safe now. We’re safe.”

The door flew open, startling them both. Stefan tightened his grip on Mieke, who shyly covered her breasts, barely hidden by her slip. Nathan rushed in, an armful of blankets he dropped at their feet. None of them had realized he was gone.

“Quiet.” He snapped. “The ship is waking up. Brought this to keep your lady warm.” He smirked. They’ve found their own way to do so.

“How did you get those?” The woman inquired as her husband grabbed one woolen blanket to cover his half naked wife.

He didn’t bother to elaborate a sentence and just grunted. His job was to do things like that. Not really, but he felt like he had to do this. He had walked so many boats he knew where to find what he needed. Years of smuggling, people or goods, taught him to stay low and unnoticed. He met a bunch of sailors, looking for the blankets, even asking where to get them, and he was pretty sure none of them would remember they had a chat with him. The men were busy to fill their belly, quickly swallowing their breakfast before resuming their tasks, getting the boat ready to put out into the deep/clean off. He had to go.

“Good luck. Take care of the lady.” He mumbled before turning his heels to exit the room.

“Nathan!” The woman shouted. Stopped in his tracks, he slowly turned around and faced her. She stepped forward to him, getting so close their chests almost touched. She sneaked a hand out of the blanket and grabbed the collar of his coat. Tugging it down, she pressed a kiss on his hairy cheek before letting go off of him..

“Thank you Nathan. You’re a good man. Thank you. For all. Thank you. ” she repeated the unnecessary words of gratitude. He wasn’t getting used to be -so kindly- rewarded for his efforts, he earned money for that. Adding the pretty lady’s kiss and Nathan felt his cheeks blushing and his heart pounding faster in his chest. For what seemed to be the first time in his life, he cared. Shit, that’s not good for the business.

The lady stepped back and the man grabbed his hand and shook it, his other hand patting his shoulder.

“Yes, thank you so much. We owe you.” He said.

“Welcome. Just stay low for a few days, until the boat is on open water. Just take care of your wife.” He mumbled to the man. He never had spoken that long to anyone before.

“I’ll pray for you and the baby Ma'am.” He wondered where this came from. He even didn’t believe in God and whatnot, but he would do. He wanted them to travel safe, he wanted her to have a healthy baby. He even felt sympathy for the man.

Shifting uncomfortably on his feet, he nodded his head to the couple and left.

At this moment, the thought of naming their son Nathan crossed his mind. Quickly replaced by the image of this rough, mute caveman. Talks little, does much. Accurate. But it was definitely a no no. Curtis at least was fond of strokes and kisses and cute as Cameron told them. He chuckled to himself and led Mieke to the ground.

“Come here, sit down.” He sat down, leaning his back against the wall and settled his wife in his lap, wrapping a blanket around him and another over their legs. She curled her legs up and melted in Stefan’s warm body, humming. Sitting down and feeling secure made the pain in her back and the storm in her belly stop. It must have been the anxiousness of their rush that had had her uterus hard like stone. Now she felt relaxed, rocked and warmed by her husband’s strong arms. She closed her eyes to savour the moment and sighted.

He shifted under her and reached out to grab his coat, bringing Mieke with him to the side. He shoved his hand in the inside pocket and dug out a matchbox. Mieke rolled her eyes and whined. Though he deserved this smoke, she’d rather like to stay in his arms, his scent was way better than his cigarette’s. What he pulled out from his pocket next surprised her. A candle. Not his pack of cigarettes. Stefan crossed his arms in front of her to light the candlelight.

“I planned to celebrate our new start, and take you out for a romantic dinner in your favorite restaurant.”

Another digging in his pocket and he showed her the menu.

“Your favorite chocolate bar!” He laughed in her ear, kissing and nipping at her neck.

Mieke squealed and yanked the bar from his grip.

“How did you manage to get it?” She shrieked in excitement, tearing the brown paper that separated the sweet goodies from her teeth. Chocolate was a rarity by those times of war and she had been craving a crunch for months. Typical pregnancy craving.

“Love, find this was way harder than organizing out trip to New York. But you know l would give you the moon. ” he nuzzled into her hair, while she more than happily took a bite.

“Mmmhh!” A strange sound racked through her lungs.

He’d never have thought she would appreciate it that much. He somehow noticed something weird. She was tensed like hell and slammed her hands on her belly.

Stefan shifted to the side to study her wife. A frown crossed her face, her eyes closed tight, her fingers dug into her abdomen, her breath held.

“A kick?” He happily asked, he always loved to know his son was healthy and sporty.

Mieke opened her wet eyes, her look worried. The calm she had been feeling since they had settled down was short-lived. And the renewed awful pain that stabbed her core was the ultimate clue.

Trembling in fear and pain, she reluctantly spit it out.

“No. It’s a contraction. Stefan, I’m in labor!”

Bad, bad timing.

@cajunpeach @red-diary @frecklefaceb @oddsnendsfanfics @societalfailure @bookwarm85 @pernilleals @kenzieam @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995

@singingpeople

@jaicourtneyseyes

@beautifulramblingbrains

[putris-et-mulier]

Those of you who want to start reading comics but don't know how to start

comixology is doing a BOGO sell on Marvel comics, specifically the most popular ones. Quick overview and recommendations for those who might be overwhelmed with the choices. But the word "Marvel" in your promotion code when you check out.

I'm going to try to just give you one sentence or a panel to recommend all the X-Men ones, because you know I'm recommending all of the X-Men ones. But I will let you know what's in it, vaguely.

I'll add more panel examples but I need to do something and the sale ends on the 13th

"Recent Jumping On Points!"  

Moon Knight Vol. 1: Lunatic – I love this series. Moon Knight is a lot like Deadpool and Legion in that they are all mentally ill characters that no one really seemed to know what to do with but Jeff Lemire got the series and he's been doing an amazing job. It will be confusing but it's confusing even if you have read the old comics, the whole thing is kind of his perception of reality so… If you like mentally ill Jewish male protagonists that need to be protected, you'll like this

Gwenpool, The Unbelievable Vol. 1: Believe It – she's a recent Deadpool spinoff I haven't really started to get but I will soon so if you do get this I'd like to hear your opinion

X-Men '92 Vol. 1: The World Is A V – this is a continuation of the 90s cartoon but it jumps ahead in the story so even people who have seen the cartoon know everything you and it's written with the expectation that you probably haven't seen the cartoon

and there is Jubilee

Spider-Man/Deadpool Vol. 1: Isn't It Bromantic – now everyone who says "I wanted to read that" can. It's as ridiculous as everyone says it is. More so, actually.

Deadpool: World's Greatest Vol. 1 – if you want to start reading the most recent Deadpool comics just start with this

Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur Vol. 1: BFF – it's comic book about a little girl and a dinosaur, it's adorable

Wolverine: Old Man Logan Vol. 1: Berzerker – this is what the movie Logan is based off of

Spider-Gwen Vol. 1: Greater Power – what if Peter Parker died and Gwen became a superhero and was in a punk band with Peter's ex girlfriends: best premise ever

All-New Wolverine Vol. 1: The Four Sisters – you might also want to check this out if you like Logan, currently the Wolverine in "old Man Logan" is in the 616 but Laura has just become the official Wolverine

All-New X-Men: Inevitable Vol. 1 – okay, so the original X-Men (Cyclops, Marvel Girl Jean Gray, Archangel, Iceman, Beast) travel forward in time so right now in the 616 we have adult versions of those characters, the ones we've always had, and now the teenage version of those characters which are technically the same characters but taken out of time when they were teenagers and just formed the X-Men, before everyone died a bunch of times. The book isn't as confusing as the explanation but I think some of you might like it because when Iceman traveled to the future he outed his older self as being in the closet and in this book we see his teenage self, straight from the 70s (pun intended,) try to figure out how to live like a gay guy in this century.

Also, baby Cyclops

Extraordinary X-Men Vol. 1: X-Haven – this is about the school refugee children in the X-Men put in Hell (Limbo) because the Earth is too dangerous. Also a genius premise

Uncanny Avengers: Unity Vol. 1: Lost Future – I've talked about this one a ton, it's the one where Rouge, Deadpool, Cable, and Quicksilver (and Captin  America, and blah blah blah) are working as Avengers

"Recent #1's"

Death Of X (2016) Issue #1 – Cyclops died (yes, he will be back eventually and there is still the teenage Cyclops running around hating himself)

IvX (2016-2017) Issue #1 – a lot about X-Men is about bigotry and eugenics and this one is another angle on that. What if two nearly extinct races have to exterminate the other to live?

Deadpool: Back In Black (2016) Issue #1 – this is about Deadpool and Venom hooking up for a while

Jessica Jones (2016-) Issue #1 – if you haven't seen the Netflix show, you should and if you have seen it and liked it you need to read this. Jessica just got released from prison and is separated from Luke and hiding their child and you have to read a few issues before they start to tell you why she went to prison and all that other stuff

and look at her shirt

Civil War II: X-Men (2016) Issue #1 – skip it. It's not bad, it's just boring

"Popular Marvel Collections"

Avengers vs. X-Men – the X-Men find a way to save their race and the Avengers try to exterminate them again. This is the series I always mentioned when people say that Captain America isn't a racist

House of M – what of Scarlet Wtich cast a spell that mutants should disappear and then Magneto becomes king and everyone was happy, kind of

X-Men: Days of Future Past – this is what the movie was based on but it's good and they didn't give all the leading roles to Wolverine. I love this book, a friend and I would act it out when we were kids which was probably pretty alarming for the adults

Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe – I'm the only one who didn't like this series so based on statistics you will like it. Eh it wasn't that bad. You get to see an alternate universe Deadpool shoot an alternate universe Spider-Man in the head and this was before he did it those last two times in the 616

Astonishing X-Men Vol. 1: Gifted – Cyclops tries to make the X-Men good guys again… With Emma Frost. She was that chick that always dressed in white in Days of Future Past but, again, she's actually cool in the comics. I think some of you would really like her, her character is like "what if a girl had the dream of becoming a school teacher but she was born as such a marginalized and targeted race so she grew up to teach in a segregated community in a school for child refugees of your race" and tack on "what if a girl was so conventionally attractive that no one took her serious despite her being very intelligent so she learns how to use her sexuality and her passing privilege to manipulate people"

Ultimate X-Men Vol. 1 – no unless you have nothing else to read

X-Men: Second Coming – it's about Deadpool's ex-husband's daughter that Cable kept strapped to his chest 

X-Men: Battle of the Atom – read this after all new X-Men, at least the first one. Now a mutant group from the future travels back in time to take out the teenage versions because every future is a dystopia and everyone believes the only way to is to murder yourself in the past

and we get a bunch of new teen mutants and their parentage… Is very X-Men. Look how cute Shogo is meeting his mother's teenage past self 

Guess who this dude belongs to

If you ship Xavierine you have to read this

X-Men: the Complete Age Of Apocalypse Epic Book 1 – this is an alternate universe story so I'm not sure if you want to read it but the art isn't as bad as the cover makes it seem

Hawkeye Vol. 1: My Life As A Weapon – this the series in which they actually keep Hawkeye deaf and integrated wonderfully into the story

All-New X-Men Vol. 1: Yesterday's X-Men – the teenage X-Men travel to the current timeline and meet their older selves.  

Runaways Vol. 1: Pride and Joy – Runaways is always cute. It's about a group of kids who all had evil villains for parents and they ran away from their homes and tried to be heroes 

"Marvel Women of Power"

I think you guys know what you want in this category but the Spider Woman one is the one in which she tries to fight crime while she's pregnant. Thor is Jane Foster (she is the current Thor because Thor is in a timeout) while she's at the last stages of terminal cancer. She Hulk is a lawyer. Ms. Marvel is the girl that was in the news for taking over the legacy name AND being Muslim and it's actually made by Muslim women.

X-Men: The Dark Phoenix Saga – everyone has read this. Even people who have never read comics. Through osmosis. Don't be the last one…

X-Treme X-Men Vol. 5: God Loves, Man Kills – Also read this

X-Men: The Complete Onslaught Epic - Book One – if it sounds good read it but I don't think is very applicable to anything that's going on right now in the comics or movie

Wolverine: Weapon X – if you can stand looking at Wolverine any longer

X-Men: Inferno – This one is going to be pretty confusing to be one of the first things you read but if you know about Jean Gray and Madeline Prior in all that you'll enjoy it 

New Mutants Epic Collection: Renewal – remember in Deadpool that character Negasonic Teenage Warhead? She is a new mutant, they are the mutant students that graduated and are trying to be X-Men. There's going to be a TV show based on this but I'm not sure if it's going be based on anything specific. The first members are Karma who is a psychic lesbian who eventually becomes an amputee raising her younger siblings as a kind of single mother, Sunspot is a Brazilian guy that kind of explodes a lot in all senses of the word, Moonstar is a young woman from the Cheyenne nation who is eventually a VIP and gets a flying horse, Cannonball is an innocent country boy that is "pretty much invulnerable when Ah'm blastin" 

It is like One Tree Hill if one tree Hill was about racism and general bigotry… and blastin'

Keep in mind that this is the beginning so these characters are adults now and the New Mutant lineup changes (obviously they have to eventually graduate to X-Men)

Wolverine By Claremont & Miller – this is what the movie "The Wolverine" was kind of based on so if you like it when Wolverine pretends to be Japanese you should pick this up 

Uncanny X-Men Masterworks Vol. 1 – if you want to start from beginning but want the ease of reading the collections

the Max stuff is the 616 Marvel characters in an R-rated universe

Journey Into Mystery Vol. 1: Fear Itself – this is when Loki was a teenager and they don't usually read these books but I really got hooked because they were better than I thought they would be 

Substance"> Young Avengers Vol. 1: Style > Substance – remember the series about a teenage Avenger group and no one turned out to be straight? This is the beginning of that

no to all the Ultimate stuff

Read all the X Factor and X Force! Uncanny X Force is the one with Deadpool and it's my favorite Deadpool of all time. I've talked about X Factor little before, that's when Rictor and Shatterstar finally get together. If you saw Logan you saw the first appearance of Rictor who is going to be in new mutants

this is the kid that plays him, Jason Genao

he is the kid at the table and this is from a Law and Order because I thought maybe it would be more familiar to everyone. So since we are starting with him as a kid I really hope if/when we see Shatterstar they do a throwback to his old hair and make a kid wear an extremely long blonde mullet wig on

[titleknown]

TITLEWave Character Re-Imaginings...

Welp, in the tradition of @dimetrodone I decided I might as well write up copyrighted fictional characters as how they’d exist in my TITLEWave setting.

But, as both a challenge and a proof-of-why-it-needs-to-happen, I’ll be restricting it to copyrighted characters from 1960 and earlier ala my idea of 56 or Bust. Because WHY THE HECK NOT?!

Past the break, because this is gettin loooooong.

Astro Boy- Essentially one of the earliest robots establishing a lot of the groundwork both AI and construction-wise for the androids of TITLEWave, despite his dubious origins as the product of a deranged scientist trying to recreate his lost son Astro’s ended up kind of an icon. So much of what he’s done laid the groundwork for what few rights robots had in this setting, and there’s even some minor religions amongst synthetics in this setting in his name

But, when the world needed him, he vanished. And robot rights backslid, often attributed in large part to a world without his influence. Only to reappear decades later, with no memory of where he had been; except for being trapped in some strange; dark place. And now, having upgraded thanks to years of interest on a bank account set up under his long-dead adoptive father’s name, he works as he always has to try to set the world right, to bring the balance between machines and humans.

Of course, while there are many who profit off the exploitation of sentient machines and present him with a handshake in front but a dagger behind their backs, there are also plenty of new allies for Astro, given the fact that he’s a living legend amongst the robotic community, and there’re a lot of people who’ve been inspired to their own heroism by him

Godzilla- Essentially created less from acts of massive war violence as much as years of societal violence, on a huge New Jersey industrial company town dedicated to the repurposing of nuclear materials and chemical waste into useful products, in a process both grueling; dehumanising and lethally toxic for those on the bottom and a nightmare of crunchtime working conditions for those doing the engineering/research. Said process became essentially automated more and more; leaving more and more people out of work and creating a massive underclass; located right by the heavily polluted coastline.

The problem started when they tried to “purge” said underclass, at first via subtler means by neglect cranking up the pollution levels to unsustainable limits, then by more blatant means, such as experimental toxins and random police experimental-gassings. And, this further added to the primordial nightmare-soup to the point where company scientist Doctor Serizawa tried to raise the alarm about the unsettling; violent biological mutations his research team found in there. To no avail. And then, one night, during the largest gassing raids in historyu; The Midway Street Massacre, the creature came.

Serizawa did eventually destroy it with the Oxygen Destroyer, and sacrifice himself to do so, though millions of lives were lost including several of the company’s highest executives. Curiously, most of the attacks by the creature were centered on the wealthiest areas of the city, much to their chagrin.

But, the story diverges from the fact that, when company scientists came to inspect things, they found the creature’s flesh was growing back onto its bones. And, then they had the alledgedly-brilliant idea to bring it onto land and cyborgize the regeneration creature. This went as well as you’d expect.

The escaped creature now wanders the country, less vicious than its original appearance and now treated more like a natural disaster than a kill-this-abomination-now-level threat. One wonders what goes through its head. Those who have made mental contact with it seem to indicate a creature that is lonely, and in pain. Because like those others living in where it was created, it too is a victim in its own way.

And, there are worrying signs from that original company, because not only do they still posess tissue samples of the creature’s cells, but also there are whispers of whole new strains of creatures they found mutated from the results of the Oxygen Destroyer….

Gandalf/Sauron- A wandering robot that looks superficially like some cheap carnival animatronic of an old man, only to reveal incredibly powerful technology beneath his surface; if it even is technology as we know it. He’s a wise mentor-type to heroic types he finds, but he has an agenda of his own as well.

It involves stopping a similar; but more powerful machine called Sauron, whose original body was destroyed, but who lives on in fragments of his corpus and AI cores; in particular one TITLE-like divice simply known as The Ring.

Nobody really knows where they came from, when asked Gandalf says he simply answers to “A higher authority”

Rick Blaine- Or, rather, Rikki Blaine. Formerly an uninvolved bystander for years running her bar in a place that was essentially a waypoint for those trying to escape from various nightmarish megacorp-owned city states, she finally was spurred to involvement after an old flame of his came with her leftist freedom-fighter husband, which ultimately ended not only in heris aiding in their escape; but also him finding a reason to live; and skimming off a high-level megacorp official to her cause too.

Now she runs an organization called the “Casablanca Foundation” to help people escape not just from Megacorp-states but also the places that are megacorp-states in all but name; or even just generally bad situations. If you know who to call, you can find her.

Bugs Bunny- Called by many nicknames including “the abortion of this age” and “the rough beast Yeats spoke of,” nobody knows where the fuck Bugs Bunnycame from. The best guess of most is that it’s a confluence of multiple biological and parapsychological factors ending up affecting one normal North American rabbit. It is also theorized they came from Brooklyn due to their distinctive accent.

Bugs is essentially an incredibly powerful humanoid lapine organism, unable to permanently die even when flattened; exploded; burned; eaten; chopped to bits; ectcetera, and with remarkable abilities of mental power despite his screwball attitude towards life; with the ability to defy the laws of physics without conscious thought and bar-none high-level abilities of spacial reasoning and behavioral prediction. And able to disguise themselves better than you’d think.

Originally they were much more terrifyingly chaotic, but nowadays they have rules they seem to follow. Namely; no retribution unless either they are provoked or somebody they like gets hurt and no killing. Other than that, if you piss them off there will be hell to pay.

Though, if you can get on their good side (Which is easier than most people think) they can be a jovial; steadfast friend (Albeit one with an often overly-massive ego with a tendency to be overly cocky and quick to fight) and a powerful ally. And, as you can guess by my use of pronouns, they happen to be genderfluid. Because Bugs Bunny

Superman- Despite a more neon 80s-tacular costume, complete with badass bounty-hunter-y mask, he’s still fundamentally Superman, helping people against problems too great for mortal people. He’s the only “proper” superhero in this setting in fact; and while everyone wonders what his real agenda is, nobody suspects that he’s just as genuine as he seems, a Jewish guy from the sticks who happened to be found in a crashed rocketship by a couple of farmers who’s trying to bring Tikkum Olam to the world. Though his reporting is more for television, he still works to report the news of the world at the Daily Star webcast.

Of course, there are a few differences. Like the fact that underneath his human appearance is an anatomy that is far off from human, with him only looking human thanks to the “rebirthing machine” in that original ship that altered him; and in fact perhaps other Kryptonians still out there; into the appearance of the planet’s dominant species.

And, there’s also the fact; with the research into the strange crystal technology linked to his planet and its lethally radioactive corrupted form known as Kryptonite, he’s found that they weren’t quite restricted to one planet. In fact, they were an interplanetary civilization, leaping across solar systems. And then, all at once, they were destroyed. But he’s never been able to find an answer as to by who or by what, or why seemingly relatively so relatively few of them were able to escape. And the few leads bring up disquieting possibilities...

You may ask, why not make expies just like these descriptions?

And I probably will do that in the future with these ideas. But; thing is; there’s power in legacies. There’s power in Superman being a shining neon light in this vicious future, there’s power in Astro Boy coming to set right what has fallen apart in his absence, there is power in Godzilla as the wrath of societal violence, and so-on.

And, while I agree with the truth that even if things are public domain they need to be treated with respect, that’s an argument I’d say for the public domain rather than against it.

Also, if you want to support further content like this, maybe throw a few bucks my way on my Patreon! This was actually decided from two ideas via a poll for those five-dollar donors, and there’ll probably be more in the future...

[celebritylive]

Kirk Douglas has died at the age of 103 leaving behind an iconic Hollywood legacy that included 92 acting credits and 75 films.

His son Michael, 75, shared an emotional statement with PEOPLE announcing the news: “It is with tremendous sadness that my brothers and I announce that Kirk Douglas left us today at the age of 103. To the world, he was a legend, an actor from the golden age of movies who lived well into his golden years, a humanitarian whose commitment to justice and the causes he believed in set a standard for all of us to aspire to.”

The actor continued, “But to me and my brothers Joel and Peter he was simply Dad, to Catherine, a wonderful father-in-law, to his grandchildren and great grandchild their loving grandfather, and to his wife Anne, a wonderful husband.”

“Kirk’s life was well lived, and he leaves a legacy in film that will endure for generations to come, and a history as a renowned philanthropist who worked to aid the public and bring peace to the planet,” Michael added. “Let me end with the words I told him on his last birthday and which will always remain true. Dad- I love you so much and I am so proud to be your son.”

Kirk’s life story is a rag to riches fairytale, one he lived to the fullest. Born during the height of World War I to poor, illiterate Russian immigrants living in upstate New York, the hardworking future icon pulled himself out of poverty to become one of the most famous men in the world.

“My parents came from Russia and my original name was Izzy Danielovitch,” Douglas told PEOPLE in 2015. He said his given name was too unwieldy and too Semitic for Hollywood at the time, so he changed it to Kirk Douglas before pursuing a career in show business.

“I wish I had kept it,” he said, looking back on the decision. “It’s more interesting to keep your original name. But can you imagine that name on a marquee?”

At the time, aesthetics were not the only reason Douglas was eager to part with the family name. His father, who made his living reselling rags and scraps of metal, was never emotionally supportive. “My father was not very affectionate,” Douglas told PEOPLE. “He was never interested in what I was doing. I had six sisters and no brothers and I wanted to be close to my father and he just ignored me.”

Although close with his mother, Douglas developed a chip on his shoulder that at first, he channeled into athletics.

“I was always in pretty good shape. In college I was a wrestler and I made money in the summer working at a carnival,” he remembered. “I was the guy who was a plant, the mark, and I’d wrestle people in the audience.”

With no money to pay tuition, Douglas talked his way into the dean’s office at St. Lawrence University and ended up convincing the school to give him a loan, which he paid off working as a university janitor and gardener. He joined the Navy not long after the U.S. entered World War II, and served until he was medically discharged for war injuries in 1944.

Douglas’ big break came after the war, when his friend and fellow aspiring Jewish actor Lauren Bacall recommended him for a role opposite Barbara Stanwyck in 1946’s The Strange Love of Martha Ivers.

“I met Betty in drama school,” Douglas said of Bacall. “I was just coming out of the Navy and she was already in Hollywood. We met at a restaurant and she had her script of To Have and Have Not with her and she read me some of her lines, the whistle scene. I thought, she is going to be a star.”

  The two also had a brief fling, and Bacall did what she could to help Douglas stay on his feet. “I had a thin coat in the winter and we were talking,” he remembered. “That night, she talked her uncle out of his overcoat … and I wore it for two years.”

Douglas married another young actress, and mutual friend of Bacall’s, Diana Dill, before he was discharged from the Navy in 1943. They had two sons, Michael in 1944 and Joel in 1947, before they divorced in 1951. The two kept in touch. Douglas said Anne and Diana often had lunch together and Anne called her ‘our first wife.’ ”

  Douglas cemented his onscreen tough-guy status while receiving his first major critical praise for 1949’s Champion. He took a gamble on the part, turning down a bigger-budget project for the film, which earned him his first Academy Award nomination. The decision to follow his gut and take less money for a better part made a major impact on his career. In 1955, Douglas trusted his instincts again and alienated himself from the Hollywood studio system by forming his own production company, which he named Bryna Productions, after his mother.

  With celebrated roles in films like Along the Great Divide (1951), Detective Story (1951) and The Bad and the Beautiful (1952), Douglas became one of Hollywood’s biggest box office stars throughout the ’50s and ’60s. But even at the height of his success, he never lost his independent, outsider spirit. After breaking his contract with Warner Bros. to form his own production company, Douglas starred in and produced films like the Stanley Kubrick-directed, anti-war film Paths of Glory (1957) and Spartacus, also directed by Kubrick.

Douglas’s decision to once again defy conventions and work with a blacklisted writer, Dalton Trumbo, on Spartacus helped to end the purge of alleged Communist sympathizers in Hollywood.

“Dalton Trumbo was one of the best writers we had. He was on the Hollywood blacklist, so he was working under another name,” Douglas told PEOPLE. “It was such a terrible, shameful time. So I decided the hell with it! I’m going to put his name on it. I think that’s the thing I’m most proud of because it broke the blacklist. It caused me a lot of trouble, but it was worth it.”

  Douglas remarried in 1954 to producer Anne Buydens. He met the Belgian-born beauty in Paris while filming Lust for Life. They had two sons, producer Peter Douglas and actor Eric Douglas, who died of a drug overdose in 2004.

“When you take inventory about all the moments of your life … you don’t forget the sad moments,” Douglas said of Eric’s death. “And in many ways, they mean more than the happy moments. Eric’s passing is a big sadness in my life. And I’ve had lots of sad moments.”

During a career that spanned seven decades, Douglas earned three Oscar nominations, two Golden Globes and made over 75 films. His philanthropic work is perhaps even more impressive. The actor has established over 400 playground parks for children across Los Angeles, funded minority scholarships at major universities, donated over $40 million to the Motion Picture and Television fund alone, and recently donated a robot to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles — aptly named Spartacus. But of all his many accomplishments, Douglas is most proud of being a dad, especially in light of his own strained relationship with his father.

“I’m much more demonstrative with my kids about hugging and kissing them and telling them that I love them. My father wasn’t like that,” he admitted. Still, Douglas’ relationship with his kids has not always been perfect, and he recognized the sometimes-negative role his success played in their lives.

“My boys didn’t have my advantages,” he explained. “When you are so poor as I was, and when you start at the bottom, you are driven to succeed. They grew up privileged and it was harder for them to be driven.”

His relationship with his son Michael, whom he called “the hardest to know” of his children, has long been a work in progress. “Michael was always more distant of all my sons, and I always wondered why,” he said. “When I asked him if I was a good father, he answered me with one word, ‘Ultimately.’ ”

But time has healed many wounds, and Douglas said his oldest son called him “every Sunday, if not more.” He was also close with his grandchildren, some of whom he feared might one day go into the family business.

“They are fantastic kids. Carys plays the piano and loves to dance and is a wonderful poet. Dylan plays the lead in all the school plays,” he said of Michael’s two children with Catherine Zeta-Jones. “I think he’ll be an actor and maybe Carys, too. I think my family is doomed!”

Douglas had seven grandchildren. “I’ve loved watching all my grandchildren grow up,” he said.

Speaking about his dad at a recent MPTF gala, Michael said of his dad’s birthday, “It’s an amazing personal century, filled with so many accomplishments and achievements that, if I recounted them all, we’d still be here for Kirk’s 105th birthday. My dad is an icon. He’s a legend. He’s a true movie star from an era when movie stars were looked at as our version of royalty, and Kirk earned that status.”

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2H0saXv

[nataliesnews]

A report on the trump plan 4.2.2020

Dear Natalie,

 An excellent article and I agree wholeheartedly.:

Shimon Z. Klein

 shared a 

post

.

Admin · 13 hrs

 Paul Mirbach

Yesterday at 7:55 PM

I thought it was time I elaborated on this plan, and explained why in my opinion, this plan is blatantly one-sided and unacceptable - and why it marks the end to Israel as a true democracy - as opposed to a sham, manipulated projected illusion of democracy. This will be long but bear with me.

1. Look at the map. The Palestinian "state" includes only the densely populated areas of the West Bank by Palestinians. This is no coincidence (see b below). Also, note is surrounded by Israel, with no borders with any other country. It is an enclave, totally dependent on Israel for physical and economic contact with the "outside world". It is the exact same form and situation of Bantustan states in South Africa) The annexation of the Settlement blocs, with no removal of outlying Israeli settlements, while Israel also has complete control of the Jordan Valley, means in essence that Israel has complete control - if it desires - of the entire region. Which means in effect complete annexation - but it cherry-picks the areas it says is annexed, leaving the Palestinian "state" out.

b) Therefore one must question WHY. In my opinion, the answer is obvious: in order to manipulate the demographics, so that Israel does not have to give Palestinians franchise, thereby allowing Israel to enjoy annexation, but not having to risk losing the Jewish majority.

2. Contiguous connection of the "parts" that make up Palestine - with tunnels?? And people think that is a viable solution for a country, a STATE? Seriously??

3. "A peace agreement 'will be forged'". How? For there to be an "agreement" it requires two sides. One side was not even consulted in building this vision. Their core grievances were rejected out of hand - and you expect them to "agree"? This is reminiscent of how the World powers carved up Europe and the Middle East after WWI, creating countries like Lebanon and Yugoslavia, without addressing the grievances and concerns of the composite populations. The result? Civil War in Lebanon, which lasted for 15 years, because of the irreconcilable interests and conflicts between Christians and Muslims, while giving Christians a constitutional majority, regardless of the real majority. It also saw the birth of the Hezbollah who now effectively controls the country, and has made it almost a satellite state of Syria. Civil in the Balkans, which lasted ten years, saw massacres and genocide and resulted in war crimes of the most horrendous nature. The danger that in the future such a result will happen in our region as a result of ignoring the grievances of the Palestinians, cannot be dismissed.

4. "Satisfied with benefits and compromises". Where has Israel compromised? It got all it essentially wanted. Where are the benefits for the Palestinians for their national aspirations? They receive in essence nothing in addition to what they already have as a result of Oslo.

5. "The United States will act as facilitator". How is that possible, when it does not enjoy the trust of one side and has proven its partisan position in favour of the other? If you were going through a divorce, would you accept your husband's (or wife's) lawyer as a facilitator?

6. "It is essential that a Palestinian state created under a peace deal be a state that has the tools to succeed". How can it have such tools, when it does not have the infrastructure?

 a) Electricity. The Palestinians have absolutely no means of space to be able to produce their own electricity. Space is necessary for public health, that the plants will not be in populated areas, which could cause cancer. Where can they build such plants? Which sources of energy do they have at their disposal to produce electricity? Water source? No. wide areas for solar or wind turbines? No. Which means they will be totally dependent on Israel. Electricity drives not only households, but industry and means of production. so, how will they be independent? and if a conflict arises, Israel can cut them off.

 b) Financial institutions like a stock exchange in order to generate capital? Their GDP is $10 billion for a population of 2.5 million. Compare that to Israel's budget and GDP for 8 million. 25.8% live below the poverty line. Average income is $1924 per capita. Who has money to invest?? $720 million in exports per annum vs $4.2 billion in imports. Great prospects for an economy, right?

7. "Withdrawing from territory captured in a defensive war is a historical rarity. It must be recognized that the State of Israel has already withdrawn from at least 88% of the territory it captured in 1967. This Vision provides for the transfer of sizable territory by the State of Israel -- territory to which Israel has asserted valid legal and historical claims, and which are part of the ancestral homeland of the Jewish people -- which must be considered a significant concession". a) Almost all of that 88% was the Sinai. Israel annexed the Golan, and now they annex the West Bank.

 b) As for Israel's "significant concession"? Convenient is it not, that the area of that concession also happens to hold 2.5 million Palestinians who would otherwise have the right to vote as Israeli citizens in Israeli elections?

8. " (The conceptual map) Takes into account the State of Israel’s valid legal and historical claims". What about the Palestinians' legal and historical claims? Are they deemed invalid? Because none of THEM has been taken into account, they have been ignored - and they have the audacity to call this plan fair and equitable?

9. "Avoids forced population transfers of either Arab or Jews". Wow. Israelis appropriate landform the Palestinians, build on it at first without building permits and without proving ownership, then they retroactively legalize these settlements and then as a reward for such behaviour, there will be no "forced population transfers". Truly just and moral...not.

10. Approximately 97% of Israelis in the West Bank will be incorporated into contiguous Israeli territory, and approximately 97% of Palestinians in the West Bank will be incorporated into contiguous Palestinian territory.

97% of the Palestinians will live in "contiguous Palestinian territory in an area of approximately 3500 km squared. 2.5 million people in 4300 km squared. think about the population density, and think about the viability of that being a "state".

11. "The Israeli population located in enclaves that remain inside contiguous Palestinian territory but that are part of the The state of Israel shall have the option to remain in place unless they choose otherwise, and maintain their existing Israeli citizenship".

However, "The Triangle Communities consist of Kafr Qara, Ar’ara, Baha al-Gharbiyye, Umm al Fahm, Qalansawe, Tayibe, Kafr Qasim, Tira, Kafr Bara and Jaljulia. These communities, which largely self-identify as Palestinian, were originally designated to fall under Jordanian control during the negotiations of the Armistice Line of 1949, but ultimately were retained by Israel for military reasons that have since been mitigated. The Vision contemplates the possibility, subject to the agreement of the parties that the borders of Israel will be redrawn such that the Triangle Communities become part of the State of Palestine. In this agreement, the civil rights of the residents of the triangle communities would be subject to the *applicable laws and judicial rulings of the relevant authorities*". (Read; Israel will strip them of citizenship and the right to vote).

This basically means that the Israelis living in settlements in the "Palestinian state" will retain their citizenship regardless, but the Israeli Arabs of the Triangle Area transferred to the "Palestinian State" will not retain their citizenship. If this is not gross manipulation of demographics in order to ensure a Jewish majority, and a convenient way to get rid of those pesky Arabs in the Triangle, I don't know what is. Classic gerrymandering. Anyone who can countenance the transfer of Israeli citizens and depriving them of their citizenship no longer has the right to claim that Israel is "the only democracy in the Middle East". It is a sham illusion of democracy, manipulated to suit their ideological agenda, while maintaining a facade of fake democracy.

12. Water rights. The Plan talks about mutual water rights, but Israel has total control to access to the sources of water - The Kinneret, the Jordan river etc. What "mutual rights" can there logically be? It is a facade. It allows Israel to dominate them with tools of pressure, like access to water, in order to "keep them in line". Further proof of a Bantustan situation.

13. The issue of access for the Palestinian "state" to port facilities and having control over them is not only unworkable but infeasible. There is no way in Hell that Palestinians could in practice have control over their parts of the ports for imports and exports, and there is no way they could have a viable mechanism for customs and Excise. They will be totally dependent on Israel, which would hold another pressure lever to assert its dominance on the "state".

In conclusion, NO, this is not a viable deal - and if I were Palestinian, I would also reject it. However, what concerns me more, is the damage this will do to Israel as a democracy and to the vision of Zionism being a just enterprise. This is not a peace plan. It is a blueprint for unilateral annexation with a message to the Palestinians – take it, because this is an offer you cannot refuse. This is not what our thinkers and forefathers envisioned. It is a gross and ugly mutation. An abomination. A Rosemary's baby.

In my opinion, it is unconscionable.

Warmest Regards,

Shimon

[argotmagazine-blog]

No Gods, No Spirits, No Angels: The Religious Experience of Witnessing "Angels in America" as a Queer, Jewish Millennial

In Honor of World AIDS Day

“I watched my friends die,” the pep talk began. “I saw the inside of a paddy wagon more than once. I chained myself to the pews of a church.” This was coming from a theater professor, the day after the 2016 election. I had come into his office minutes earlier, shaken and despondent, telling him I no longer felt I wanted to continue pursuing playwriting.

“No. No. No,” he replied. “Now is when you must throw yourself into your art, full-speed. You cannot back down now. Feel upset today, fine. Take a break, whatever. But you have to get out there and fight tomorrow. I swore years ago I would never have to wear my ACT UP shirt again. But I dug it up this morning, and I’ll be wearing it out there at every protest and demonstration. I sure as hell better see you there, too.”

In my desperate need to understand what he went through, I blurted out, “I’d love to interview you about your experience.” The conversation came to a halt. The pep talk ended there. I had breached the fine line between a curious outsider and an intrusive one.

I encountered this before. When you’re a storyteller, you want to be interested in everybody. You’re taught to ask questions and gather the stories that will inform your work. You can’t write about the human condition if you’re not bearing witness to its many facets. We all want the juicy gossip, the ghost stories, the too-gruesome-to-be-real tales of people overcoming extraordinary strife. Yet that can be dangerous. Growing up Jewish, we’re taught that to remember the Holocaust is to prevent its recurrence, but we’re also taught never to ask about a survivor’s experience unless it is offered. This is the paradox of knowing survivors of tragedy: so many of them want to educate, to prevent history repeating, but their own trauma is often too painful to re-live.

Time and again, I have found the AIDS Crisis, like the Holocaust, to be the great rift between generations. For Jewish descendants of survivors, like some of my friends growing up, the Holocaust was the elephant in the room; something that made family dinners and religious celebrations a point of anxiety. Even if they lived in the most Jew-friendly town in America, survivors are forever looking over their shoulder. Their descendants are taught to as well, even when they’re not sure why. There were days my Jewish friends would tell me about the Holocaust being used as a point of guilt, a way to say, “Stop behaving so selfishly, don’t you remember what your grandfather lived through?” Survivors of the AIDS Crisis will sometimes—maybe inadvertently—scorn queer Millennials for not understanding the agony they encountered. As many of us came of age in the new millennium, perhaps moved away from home or began frequenting gay clubs and bars, we’d each have our own stories of encountering elder days with one too many drinks in their system, ranting furiously about our privilege, our “never having seen true hardship now that AIDS is gone.”

Of course, HIV and AIDS are not gone, and my generation isn’t blameless for our ignorance. I can’t begin to count how many gay people my age have told me they had never heard of ACT UP or the AIDS Quilt or even the efforts of artists like Keith Haring and David Wojnarowicz. However, many of us want to learn. We want to understand what it must have felt like back then so that we can build stronger bonds with our queer elders. More of us want to educate, because we know the deadly price of ignorance; of thinking that knowledge of our history doesn’t affect us as individuals. After the Pulse shooting, I dived in. I read books on the Crisis, and binged documentaries. Yes, my fury over the Reagan administration’s inaction increased ten-fold. I made it my mission to educate fellow members of the community. But I don’t think I could fully grasp, on a deeply emotional level, what the turmoil must have felt like, until this year.

In March, I returned to my alma mater to see a production of Angels in America, Part I: Millennium Approaches. This is the first in a two-part, seven-hour magnum opus drama written by Tony Kushner. Millennium follows a cavalcade of characters: Prior, the former drag queen diagnosed with AIDS; Louis, the pencil-pushing boyfriend who leaves him; Joe, the closeted Mormon law clerk; Harper, Joe’s equally Mormon, agoraphobic wife who sees less of her husband since he started cruising for sex in Central Park; and Roy Cohn, the evil lackey to Joseph McCarthy, dying of AIDS and denying every word of it. It is a tale of how the AIDS Crisis affected vastly different people, evoked through a “Gay Fantasia on National Themes,” Angels’ eponymous subtitle complete with spirits and giants and fiery biblical set pieces.

I thought I knew what I was in for as I found my seat in the theater, having read the script two years earlier. I figured I would probably cry when Prior screams at Louis, “I’m dying! You stupid fuck! Do you know what that is!” Yet, I was nowhere near prepared. By the end of the 3.5-hour show I was a red-faced, blubbering mess. Something happened to me in that small college theater. Something that made my heart feel altogether light and heavy; something that made my eyes see more clearly. By the time I returned to Chicago, I had had two nights of deep sleep accompanied by vivid dreams of the production. In one dream, I was an actor, and I had to get on stage and deliver a monologue. All the cast and the audience were waiting for me,  and I couldn’t remember my lines for the life of me. So I fled to a parking lot and cried. In the other dream, I was an audience member who wandered on stage during a pivotal moment. I couldn’t seem to find my way off stage, and Prior scolded me for not paying attention, for not listening. Coming back to my Midwest studio apartment, I only had one overwhelming conclusion circling my head: I had just had a religious experience.

Western religion and theatre go hand-in-hand. They both involve rituals of an audience congregating for a set time to look at costumed people on a stage and try to glean a message. Theorists like Jill Dolan have asserted that a theater event creates temporary communities out of total strangers experiencing a shared moment. That is what it sometimes feels like to be queer: a community of strangers, desperate to make our pieces fit, coming together through some shared sense of otherness with the world. Seeing Angels for the first time, with Millennial actors, did for me what religion is supposed to do: connect us to our ancestors. I watched my community suffering on stage, and it felt real. It felt more authentic than any other play I had ever seen. The painted-on lesions, the heavy New York accents, even the moment Prior shits his pants and raises his hand to reveal blood (evoking an audible gasp from the audience). For the first time in my life, I felt I could empathize with at least a fraction of what those who survived the Crisis experienced.

Some people laughed when I mentioned how Angels felt like an out-of-body experience, and I was beginning to feel a little silly. Then I talked to Jeffrey James Fox, who played Prior in the University of Michigan production. “I guess, in a way,” he said, “I had a religious awakening.” He started to get choked up as he continued.

“When you’re Jewish, you learn about Jewish heroes and the Holocaust and tangible things that happened. You learn a little about the history of your people. Gay people don’t have heroes for a lot of their life, especially when you’re in the closet for twenty years or more… Like reading about ACT UP, my God! Their own research, their own doctors. They made everything happen on their own, because nobody else would!”

Most profoundly, he said, being in Angels as an openly gay man changed his thinking on how he wants his career to take shape. “I want to devote a good chunk of my career now to giving a voice to people who don’t have them. If I had seen a movie with a gay character when I was younger, imagine how much more comfortable I would’ve been with myself so much sooner! This whole thing…” He trailed off for a moment before concluding, “Yeah. I guess it is religious.”

We are a generation that feels more alienated and disconnected from religion than ever before. Millennials are distancing themselves from the religious practices with which they were brought up, choosing instead to forge bonds through pagan rituals or astrology. For some of us, theater offers a new religion, or at least a supplemental religious experience. It can connect us to the past, distract us from the present, and give us a glimpse into potential futures. For young people like Jeffrey, the history of ACT UP is the history of queer people’s resilience; of being backed into a corner, on the brink of extinction, and responding by rolling up our sleeves and solving the problem ourselves. Millennials, remarkably in tune with the complexity and fluidity of identity, increasingly no longer see themselves in religious stories and traditions. So we seek out other ways to connect to our past. We become the researchers of queer history, we find the forgotten stories, and we gather on stage or on Netflix or in movie theaters, and dammit, we tell the stories ourselves. We make our friends and family listen, so they will learn and fight alongside us for a better future. Out of pure necessity, we become the preachers of our own queer religion.

In October, a man entered the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh and opened fire. I awoke to texts from friends offering sympathy, and read article after article of the “rise” of anti-Semitism in America (it’s always been there, it’s just emboldened now). I felt that creeping sense of guilt I know so well, for not having the “correct” amount of empathetic pain. I struggled to place why I was suddenly so void of feeling over the shooting. Of course I was upset to hear of the murder of fellow Jews, yet I wasn’t surprised. There wasn’t an aching loss and I felt overwhelmingly guilty for that. Why did the Pulse shooting break my heart, keep me in bed for two days, and force me to pen a new play? Why did the Tree of Life (whose alternative name, Simcha, is the same as my Hebrew name) come as no surprise?

Talking about this absence of pain with a friend of mine, I found myself referencing the Judaic aspects of Angels in America, which I had always ignored for the larger queer themes. Yet, I suddenly realized that the shooting didn’t shock me precisely because I was raised Jewish. The emphasis on always being aware—and always being prepared—that the world has tried to wipe us out for thousands of years has been ingrained in me. In a twisted way, Jews are always anticipating the next attempted genocide. There are two large groups that I can call “my people”: Jews and the LGBTQ community. I was shocked by Pulse because I had not yet had the history lessons of “my (queer) people” like the lessons afforded to me by Hebrew school, because queer studies are still “niche.” The culture that encouraged survivors to speak out about their time in the concentration camps had never existed for survivors of the AIDS Crisis or the Upstairs Lounge or Stonewall.

All of a sudden, I understood the religious aspects of Angels in America like never before. The depiction of Heaven as a place equally unfathomable and in disarray, in which Prior delivers a scathing speech that he’d rather live with AIDS than be healthy in Heaven, enforces the Jewish teaching of striving to do good on Earth for the sake of being good and helping others, rather for the sake of—to steal from The Good Place—an afterlife “moral dessert.” Then there’s Prior’s assertion that God must be dead. It is the play’s most direct reference to what many survivors of the Holocaust felt after they were freed from the camps: God is not coming back.

“And even if He did,” Prior says. “If He ever did come back, if He ever dared to show His face, or his Glyph or whatever in the Garden again. If after all this destruction, if after all the terrible days of this terrible century He returned to see … how much suffering His abandonment had created, if all He has to offer is death …

“You should sue the bastard. That’s my only contribution to all this Theology. Sue the bastard for walking out. How dare He. He oughta pay.”

The monologues that precede both Millennium Approaches, and its successor Perestroika, are intentionally (sometimes literally) preachy. One is spoken by a Rabbi Isidor Chemelwitz, presiding over a funeral, and the other by Aleksii Antedilluvianovich Prelapsarianov, “The World’s Oldest Living Bolshevik.” Rabbi Chemelwitz waxes poetic on how the deceased immigrant laying before him reminds him of, “how we struggled, and how we fought, for the family, for the Jewish home, so that you would not grow up here, in this strange place, in the melting pot where nothing melted.” He lambasts the descendants for giving their children “goyische names,” and assimilating to a kind of America that makes you forget your roots. In Part II, Aleksii’s monologue similarly curses us, for we could not possibly know the struggle he and his comrades overcame for a mere ideological future. That is what Jews and queers and the children of mass terror alike have always heard. The last survivors beg us to listen and to empathize and to never take for granted how fragile our freedoms really are. They make movies, write plays, and do whatever it takes to keep history alive and relevant, and to maintain the spark of hope that maybe we’ll be the generation that finally ends the madness.

My encounter with Angels at Michigan haunted me for days, and I needed a way to get back to that feeling. So, I made a pilgrimage. I found a way to see the show—all seven hours—on Broadway. By happenstance, I chose the day Tony Kushner was in the audience to celebrate the 25th anniversary of opening night. That’s how I knew I was exactly where I was meant to be; like at the end of Sister Act when the Pope shows up to listen to Whoopi’s whipped-into-shape choir. In this long journey to New York and back again, I realized something important: if theater is a religion, you don’t need to see a Broadway production to be transformed by religious text. Yes, Prior Walter’s monologue in Perestroika hit me like an oncoming train when uttered by Andrew Garfield, but that doesn’t mean the same feeling might not be achieved by a queer Millennial performing in a small theater anywhere else in the world. Like anything religious, it is all up to interpretation. As my life experience changes, so too does my understanding of Angels in America.

It’s not that Millennials don’t feel we need organized religion as much anymore. It’s that we’re learning there is an inherent religiousness to simply being human and wanting to fight for a better life for ourselves and for those who come next. Our forebears—professors, mentors, the older queers we meet in bars—may never have the words to express their stories of the AIDS Crisis, or the Holocaust, or the Next Terrible Thing. It is our duty to make ourselves understand. But it seems as though proactivity only comes from awakenings. I hope my fellow Millennials have the kind of religious experience I did. Let it change you. Let it fill your heart. Let it bring us closer to the generations before us, so that we may finally bridge this unnecessarily bitter gap. May you all find something that gives you the courage to scream and shout and demand—as one singular being—the right to a better life.

Eric Grant is a playwright, essayist, and theater-maker based in Chicago. He was an artist-in-residence at The MITTEN Lab in Bear Lake, Michigan, and his work has been presented at the Phoenicia International Festival of the Voice and most recently at Second City's De Maat Theater. You can find him on Instagram and at www.eric-grant.net 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #83

“i’m not afraid of the dark, i’m afraid of what’s in the dark.”

who’s your favorite author?   i don't particularly have one. how do you make your coffee?   i don't.  i hate coffee. what’s the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing?   panicking at a time when i shouldn't have been.  panic attacks in general are just humiliating. do you remember what you dreamt about last night?   YA'LL i had a nightmare that my family and i were in this fucked-up mix of re7 and "the evil within" oh god it was awful how do you feel about wearing leggings in public?   totally fine with it so long you wear your damn size. do you vape?   no do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?   i only enjoy two of their songs and have heard like three.  one of these songs happens to be my favorite song ever tho, so i guess that means something. do you have any male names picked out for future children? female names?   for boys, i really like severin, vincent, victor, and luther.  my daughter, if i ever have one, is 100% going to be alessandra quinn and no i am not compromising lol. have you ever been proposed to?   nope. how much irish do you have in you?   close to 50% ever looked into your family heritage?   no, but someone in my family has and made a huge family tree some years back.  found out we're distantly related to queen victoria and william clark do you think you have ever been in love? if so, with whom?   i don't just think i have been, i know i was with jason. do you like road trips?   as long as i have my ipod, yes. do you tend to waste a lot of money?   i don't get money to begin with, so. do you like someone?   i mean yeah. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?   i have. do you like olive garden?   it's probs my favorite restaurant do you plan on taking your husband’s last name if you ever marry?   yeah. what’s your favorite kind of alcohol?   i haven't drunk much, really, so i don't have much to pick from, but the best one i've ever had was this watermelon margarita thing. ever been in a near death situation? explain:   well, i got in a wreck once, but it was minor; nevertheless, the cops told my mom if she hadn't made one crucial move, we probably would've been flipped over dead.  i also overdosed once, so does that count? what is your biggest weakness?   probably just my insecurity in general. scene kids, opinions?   personally, i find the trend aesthetically pleasing.  i enjoy the style very much.  i'd actually die for scene hair.  but do you, man. how far out of your age bracket would you date?   i probably wouldn't go younger than 21 and no older than 28. have you ever had an std?   nope. is the area you live in more liberal or conservative?   conservative do you keep anything from a past relationship? (gifts, letters, etc)   i've kept literally everything jason's ever given me, and no, i won't get rid of it unless i see practical reason to.  no current partner will change my mind on that; he made me happy once, get over it. are you tan?   i'm pale as fuck what would you do if you were pregnant now?   accept it?  but that's legitimately impossible right now. do you know anyone who’s bipolar?   my half-sister is, my dad probably is, and i either have bipolarity ii or borderline personality disorder. what do you dip your chicken nuggets in?   sometimes honey mustard, sometimes ketchup. is the person you like older or younger than you?
   he's a bit older what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you?   nothing?  i'm 21, it's not like they have any say in that matter. are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?  yes.  i really want my lip redone, snake eyes on my tongue, then my nose redone, then more holes in my ears again.  as for tattoos, yes, i have many in mind.  i was supposed to get one for my birthday too, soooo... that still hasn't happened. when was the last time someone held your hand?   few days back. if you could have any pet right now, what would it be?   the ball python morph i was supposed to fucking get for christmas.  i have the goddamn money for her, just my mom's being lazy per usual with just buying it already (it was put in her account).  i'm honestly starting to get paranoid she's just used the money by now. do you still pinky promise?   damn right son do you like to be called baby?   no, because i'm not one, i'm a woman who went through hell itself to get to where i am.  don't belittle me. how do you know you love someone, personally?   lol this makes me think of that van halen song that really describes it perfectly: "how do i know when it's love?  i can't tell you, but it lasts forever."  it's hard to explain, you just... know it.  you just have this feeling that doesn't go away, almost no matter what.  you have this unconditional fondness towards someone that few, if any, things can change. would you ditch friends to be with a bf/gf?   if i'd already made plans, no, but if my boyfriend really needed me for crucial reasons, yes, because he comes first. how many true best friends are present in your life?  i don't have a best friend, so. do you currently have a significant other?   yeah. would you be able to stand being in the same room as someone you hate?  i only "hate" one person, and no, i wouldn't. think of your current or last bf/gf. do you/did you love them?  no, i don't love him yet.  we haven't even been together a month. has anybody ever dated you only for your looks?   lol no way, i don't have "looks" has anybody criticized the way your significant other looked like?   my ex was criticized by three people, yeah.  and it always pissed me off.  like is it your business, at all?  i'm the one who loves him regardless of how the fuck he looks.  i personally and sincerely was and still am attracted to him anyway, so none of your fucking business. what has been the stupidest reason someone has broken up with you?   "i can't handle your depression anymore," he said.  after three and a half years of having accepted it.  lmao. have you written or drawn anything for somebody else?   mhm. do you have any pictures of yourself with a bf/gf?   with my ex, yeah.  not with my current boyfriend. has anybody said they loved you, but you didn’t love them back?   yeah.  tyler does that now.  first of all i'm just like "um no you don't" because it's been what, two weeks?  i'm not going to say i love you when i know i don't yet. would you ever act as a couple with someone who didn't want to make it 'official'?   NO AND I KNOW TOO FUCKING MANY PEOPLE WHO DO LIKE STOP IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET FUCKING PLAYED how many contacts do you have on your phone?  i legitimately only have 14 lol do you have a voicemail?
   no. have you ever taken a pregnancy test?   no. are you jewish?   no. does your ex still think about you?  most likely not. how many songs are on your mp3/ipod?  over 1,000 what’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?   "logan" w/ tyler biggest pet peeve?  being talked to when i am quite obviously listening to music and have no interest in talking.  bit bitchy to say, but just.  don't. do you like the beach?   not that much, to be honest. what smell reminds you most of summer?   the smell of barbeque do you still talk to the last person you made out with?   no, i don't. what do you usually order on a pizza?   jalapenos what would you order if you went to mcdonald’s right now?   mcdouble, medium fry, medium coke. are you obsessed with anything?   i have four things i'd consider legitimate obsessions: rhett&link/gmm, markiplier, meerkats, and silent hill. do you eat your pizza crust?   dude always, it's only the best part. what is the worst pain that you’ve experienced?   physical?  having a pilonidal cyst emptied.  i was seriously screaming and sobbing bloody murder because i was not drugged enough.  they gave me morphine and like five numbing shots all throughout and i was still 100% feeling what was going on jesus christ i will never do that again. who is the most attractive actor?   hm.  probably chris hemsworth. be honest, do you like people in general?   no. do you have a brother?  i have a half-brother do you prefer pepsi or coke?   coke, pepsi's gross. do you ever go hunting/fishing?   fishing, yeah, never hunting.  i couldn't. do you have any tattoos?  i have three. what are the middle names of everyone in your family?  mom and nicole: marie.  ashley: nicole.  dad: john. are you an organ donor?  mhm. would you steal under any circumstance, be it for survival or greed?  i honestly wouldn't be able to unless we were talking an apocalyptic situation where stores and such were abandoned, but products remained there.  but i guess that'd more accurately be called scavenging. what person, living or deceased, would you most like to converse with?  mark fischbach.  he's too inspirational for his own good. have you ever been profoundly affected by a teacher?   coach collie and mr. proctor, yes<3 have you, or do you commit substance abuse?  nope. what was the scariest moment of your life?   the moment after i overdosed and realized what i was doing. what’s your relationship with your sibling/s like?  we barely have one. are you ready for kids now?   definitely not. have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?   it was pierced for years, then the fucking hole closed when i was in the hospital. >~> was your birthday good this year?  lmao no.  i was in a mental hospital.  take your guess. have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating?   no, because if you want that kind of attention from me, you better be dating me first. if your ex said they hated you, you respond with? why?   ha ha ha honestly the first thing i thought of was, "well your dick sure didn't" because facts are facts. have you ever passed out/fainted?  i have. would you rather drown or burn alive?   ... um. do you like to mow the yard?   i don't do it period. who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with?   jason. what color is your father’s car?   shit.  i'm not entirely sure.  i think black...? how many pets do you have?   two. do you prefer broccoli or asparagus?   broccoli.  asparagus is gross. skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?   i like 2%.  we drink skim, but it's not my preference. was the last person you kissed physically attractive?   on the lips?  absolutely. now what are you listening to?   a gmm video. how many stories does your house have?   just one. do you get along better with shy/quiet people or confident/outgoing people?   confident/outgoing, if i had to pick just one.  i'm shy/quiet, and i guess opposites attract. outside of family, name 3 people that make you smile/laugh often.   mark fishbach, link neal, rhett mclaughlin <3 if someone jokes about sex or sexual things does that make you feel uncomfortable?   sometimes in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?   english when you were a kid, where did you think babies came from?   i thought they came from the mother's stomach, but i didn't know how they got out. what color are the eyes of the person you love or the person you’re currently interested in?   they're brown. was your last facebook friend request from a male or female?   male. think of the last person that betrayed you. if they said they were sorry, would you forgive them?   yes.  but that doesn't mean i'd welcome them back into my life. have you ever had a relationship last for a year or longer?   yeah.  3 1/2 years. what ended it, or are you still involved?   he did.  according to him, he couldn't handle my depression anymore and i gave up on life.  i'm finally getting to the point where i almost don't care anymore.  he became a callous, insensitive prick. where’s the weirdest place you’ve stuck your used gum?   that's fucking gross.  i throw it in the trash like a normal fucking human. what’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss?   silent hill.  it's one of my passions that, very surprisingly, i am totally unashamed of and loving talking about it. what is your least favorite topic to discuss?   politics because i don't understand most of it. do you like oatmeal?   i'm picky about it.  i hate it with water, and if you use milk, it absolutely cannot have too much in it or it's disgusting. how many times have your comments been top comments on youtube?   very, very rarely.  i like never comment on youtube unless it's on a friend's video. have you ever tried to make a movie?   no, but i actually wanted to be a movie director once upon a time. do you like the moon or sun more?   moon. do you like turkey or ham more?   ham. have you ever slapped someone’s butt?   i don't think so, but i guess there's a small possibility i have to jason just to fuck with him?  oh wait, yes i have, i did it once playfully to chelsea and she moaned loudly lol. do you think dimples are ugly?   no, i think they're cute. do you like zebras?   yeah, sure.  they're very cute and so unique. who was the last person you talked to on skype/video chat?   we didn't use video, but sam.  brother from another mother. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the last person you kissed?   i just found jason attractive in general, but i guess his face in general.  he has a somewhat stern, but oddly attractive expression as his baseline. would you be able to have a relationship with someone you didn’t find attractive, if they had a nice personality and treated you well?   yeah. what’s the most painful experience you’ve ever had with a significant other? you don’t have to go into detail, just talk briefly about it.   him leaving. do you have any traits that you obviously inherited from your parents?   i pace like my dad. what’s your favorite thing from olive garden?   spicy shrimp fritas have you ever thought of killing yourself?   i didn't just think of it, i attempted because i'm fucking dumb. what’s your grandma’s name?   maternal, cecelia.  i actually don't remember my paternal's. where did your last ex ask you out?   well, we were actually texting at the time.  both of us were at home. do you know any german words?   lots, yeah. what is the cutest animal?   meerkats!  especially the pups! have you ever held a starfish?   no, but that'd be cool. what is something that reminds you of your ex?   many, many things.  but i think more than anything, the song "easy to love you" by theory of a deadman has the last person you kissed ever cried in your arms?   no. which would you prefer to receive as a gift - flowers or chocolate?   chocolate bc i am honestly a fatass. do any of your followers on tumblr have your phone number?   on my main blog, one.  not on this one. what’s the most attractive physical feature of the person you love/like?   well, i love and like two different people.  i love jason, and i just find his face to be attractive in general.  i like tyler, and he has a cute smile. have you ever had mono?   no.  older sister has, though. do you prefer just water, or do you like to put in crystal light, ect?   neither, really.  i don't like water, and artificial sweeteners give me a headache. were you ever addicted to sims?  ever addicted, no.  but i really enjoyed the animal-oriented sims once. ever been to prom?   twice. what kind of music do you like?   mostly heavy metal. have you been to any concerts? if so, which ones?   alice cooper, yeah. what level do you play on guitar hero?   i do a mix of hard and expert now.  i used to get no lower than like 94% on expert when i played it a lot. what did you want to be when you grew up?   first an archaeologist, then a vet, a movie director, a game designer... do you have a pool?   no. is your last name unique?   no. do you know anyone colorblind, or slightly colorblind?   jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors. do you like pink?   yeah.  it's like my second favorite color. do you prefer rainbows or stars?   rainbows. would you rather go to a planetarium or an aquarium?   aquarium what is your favorite planet in our solar system?   saturn! what element do you feel most connected to?   water describe what you would want to wear if you were getting married, handfasted, or having some kind of “love celebration” or “commitment” ceremony between yourself and another?   white ballroom gown with a sweetheart top and a cathedral veil.  will never be able to afford it, though. what medication do you dislike the most?   the ones that dissolve on your tongue. what skill do people often compliment you on?   artistic skills. if you could have a conversation with any well-known figure of the past or present, who would it be and what would you want to talk about?   mark fischbach, and about positivity. what is something about yourself that you feel no one else understands?   *shrugs*  if i really think about it, i think there are people that understand every aspect about me. what do you do when it storms and the power’s out all night?   light candles, play the gameboys. what’s your favorite coke product?   coke do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators?   me, a little bit. do you like country music?   nope. ever seen a jellyfish?   in aquariums, yes. do you think you were raised well?   yes, generally.  we should've been given more chores, but w/e. do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE?   yes. how do you handle stress?   i panic. do you think you could ever forgive someone who murdered a family member?   HA HA HA YEAH RIGHT kids then marriage or marriage than kids?   hey, 90% of people, fucking get married first. do you think best friends can be replaced?   "replaced," no.  they can change, yeah, but not replaced. your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?   if it was jason, i'd greet him; tyler, i'd honestly just tell him to take a hint and leave me alone. your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your friend, who are you mad at?   both, obviously? why do some guys lie about not being virgins?   because of the pressure and stereotypes put upon them. would you ever stay with a cheater?   NOPE do you like wine?   i've never tried it, but knowing that it's bitter, i hiiighly doubt i'd like it. have you ever been pregnant?   no. are there too many teens getting pregnant?   one teen is too many. do you like obama?   i don't know much about him as a president, but i do know he's pretty funny. where was your first kiss?   on jason's bed. have you ever gone to a grocery store late at night? what did you get?   i'm guessing you mean really late at night?  yeah.  a few months back when i had my cyst, mom and i drove to walmart at like 4 am because i was in so much pain; i couldn't sleep. what’s the best name you can come up with for a snake?   i like crowley. ;v; do you think fish are cute?   some, sure.

[ask-a-badass]

Stuck Between Love and Family, answered by Gracia Mendes Nasi

Dear Badass,

I’m in love. Like, shout it from the rooftops, honey in my veins, finally found my home in love. So what’s the catch? We’re both high school girls and my family is going to flip out. I’ve always been close with my family. I thought they’d be glad to see me so happy. It’s not even like my parents are that religious. But they’ve been weird and hostile ever since I started spending time with my girlfriend. I hadn’t even tried to tell them yet when out of nowhere, my dad pointed to a news segment on Lena Waithe and said she’s breaking her family’s heart and if she was his daughter, she’d be out on the street. He just went on and on about how they weren’t going to pay a cent to support a “lesbian lifestyle” and they’d rather I was dead than gay. Mom just nodded along and chimed in once with an amen. It was probably her first time saying amen since their wedding.

I just don’t know what to do now. I have another year of school. I can’t imagine staying in the closet all that time. But I’m desperate to go to college. Not just to get out of here, though that’s part of it. I want to be a journalist. I’m the editor of our school newspaper and I’ve been writing since practically before I could read. I don’t know how to do that if I’m suddenly supporting myself as a high school senior. Hell, I don’t even know if I can graduate high school without a place to live. What should I do?

Stuck Between Love and Family

Dear Stuck,

You are in a dilemma with no easy answer. I can offer you only my sympathy and the knowledge that you are not alone. I faced not only a frightful punishment if I attempted to live openly as myself, but was offered the ability to save many lives if I stayed in hiding. I can tell you what it was to like, both to live in shadow and to finally embrace my community.

When the Portuguese king ruled that all Jews must either convert to Christianity or leave Portugal without their children, my parents chose to feign conversion. They amassed wealth in the hopes it would keep them safe. When I married my mother’s rich kinsman, I received the ketubah in secret before only the necessary witnesses and proclaimed my vows before a priest in Lisbon’s great cathedral.

If Portugal’s edicts made our faith perilous, its ships made our business prosperous. My husband and his brother were so successful in creating the market for the news spices that were coming from Asia that they were able to open a second center in Antwerp. But we were dancing upon quicksand. The same year my husband suddenly died, the Inquisition brought fire and horror to Portugal. I fled to Antwerp with my daughter and sister, where I discovered I had a choice to make.

There was a tiny Jewish community in Antwerp, mostly people like us who’d fled burning in Spain or Portugal. The community lived on a knife’s point. The Holy Roman Emperor continued to hold sway in the Netherlands and could easily reach out to crush them for faith or profit. They stayed quiet and safe. My family could join them. We could openly practice the faith our fathers suffered for, the faith that sustained our mothers in exile. But we would need to attract attention in neither deed nor possessions.

My brother-in-law and I continued to show a Christian face to the outside world and amass extraordinary wealth. Some of it was for the safety of our family, of course, but it was also for the safety of our people. We used our money and our business networks to get Jews out of Portugal and the Spanish Kingdoms. We smuggled them over the Alps, up European rivers, and through the harbors of the Mediterranean. We got them to the cities of Italy and the Netherlands and to the villages of the Ottoman Empire.

It was disorienting, to present myself every day as something I did not believe and to know that my family suffered with me. I don’t think my sister ever understood. When my brother-in-law died, she was enraged that he left the business to me, even though only I could keep our hidden network running. My sister didn’t even realize the danger we were in and almost ruined our escape from the Holy Roman Empire into the Venetian Republic. Her envy turned so bitter that she denounced me as a Jew, hoping the Venetian court would give her control of my fortune.

I escaped to Ferrara, where I finally got to live with my people. I should have been furious, but I felt like my sister set me free. Finally, I could observe Seder and Sabbath. I could wrap myself in the rituals and words that had been denied to me for so long. I even commissioned a translation of the Tanakh and a history of our people’s exile. It was as if I’d spent my life breathing through lace and now I took in pure and unencumbered air. Had I known this feeling, I don’t know if I could’ve lived so long as I had. I knew I could never go back. The Ottoman Empire offered protection and I moved one final time, to join the people I’d smuggled from Spain.

So what does my story tell you? It is a terrible thing to live in hiding, but it can lead to a greater good. You should begin by dismissing the thought of what you owe your parents. They have made it clear that they will use their support as a weapon against who you are. There is a reckoning in the future for all of you, but you need not have it while you are still dependent on them.

You live in a time where the need for journalists is great and the need for voices like yours is even greater. Can this need sustain you through a year of dissembling? Will the cost to your spirit of hiding who you are for a year be greater than the cost of skipping or delaying college? Can you find a way to protect yourself from your parents’ scorn, or is your relationship with them worth whatever they may inflict? Only you can answer these questions, but I urge you to be cautious and thorough in answering them. Look at the situation that presents itself to you, not the world as you wish it to be.

Whatever you chose, protect your own truth and sustain yourself in the knowledge that you will eventually find a place of safety.

Gracia Mendes Nasi

Born in 1510 in Lisbon to parents descended from wealthy Jewish families who’d been expelled by Spain’s Catholic Monarchs. Died in 1569 in or near Constantinople, amongst the Jewish community she had helped foster. Gracia Mendes Nasi spent most of her adult life protecting her family, running their business, and organizing a network that funnelled targeted Jews out of the Iberian Peninsula to the Netherlands (modern-day Belgium), Italy and the Ottoman Empire. She avoided the Holy Roman Emperor’s attempt to forcibly marry off her daughter and her sister’s attempt to seize the fortune by denouncing her to Venetian authorities. After she moved to Constantinople, she was an active patron and advocate for the growing Jewish community in the Ottoman Empire.

Find out more about her at Sheroes of History.

[krissysbookshelf]

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[iammarylastar]

Warning: racist content, violence and blood.

Chapter 4: Troubles

“Awww! What a gorgeous baby you have there! Boy or girl?”

The lady of the immigration service who was in charge with them couldn’t stop babbling, a wide grin taped on her face.

“She was meant to be a boy. She’s a she!” Stefan showed off, his precious baby girl in his arms.

“What a drop dead gorgeous lady! How old are you Princess?” She dropped her pen to reach out and stroked the fatty calves of the wiggling baby girl.

“She will hit 6 weeks in a few days. She was born on board!”

“She is a beauty! Congratulations and ̀ welcome to Australia!” She nicely said. Australian seemed to be very nice and welcoming people.

“And what’s your name, little angel?”

“Miss Lizzy Gibson! You’re not paid to talk rain and good weather with migrants but to register them.” Her boss coldly called her to order.

Blushing furiously to be scold like a child, the young woman adjusted her glasses up her nose, grabbed her pen back, cleared her throat and asked, a serious frown between her eyebrows:

“OK. Name?”

“Courtney.” Stefan proudly announced, lifting the tiny girl up to tickle her chubby cheek with his nose.

“Well. Your first name Ma'am?” She conscientiously wrote down the precious information.

“Mieke.” She answered, making the woman stop writing.

“Jewish?” She quirked an eyebrow.  The woman nodded shyly but kept her eyes straight on hers.

All the Jewish people who disembarked here in Sydney usually looked exhausted, frightened and lost, averting their gaze down to the floor, trembling in fear to be beaten to death or worse while confessing their religion. They’d often lost everything : family, friends, house, honour and dignity.  But not those two. Three. The young couple seemed happy and blessed, together with that cutie pie the man held lovingly against his chest.

“You?” She asked the man, suddenly hit by his stunning blue gaze, her mouth getting dry before such an handsomeness.

“Stef… Stephen.” He hesitated. And got obviously uncomfortable. Weird.

“And where are you from?” Her job was also to find out traitors or Nazis. Her hierarchy’s instructions were to send any suspicious case to the upper stage, where strong men would roughly get the truth out of them.

“London, England.” The woman firmly uttered.

That made sense, their accent sounded European’s. Most of the candidates to exile came from this troubled part of the world.  The man, as handsome as he looked, was still acting suspiciously, nervously stroking and patting his newborn’s back, shifting from one foot to another in a too fast pace.

Nonetheless, she couldn’t resolve herself to denounce his strange behaviour, promising him and the whole family to the hell of policy questioning, demand in custody during what could be a months-long investigation.

“And I guess you lost your identity papers… whilst the destruction of your house?” She started, her long, meaningful look inviting Mieke to complete the story.

“Yes. An air raid destroyed all the area where we lived. These two suitcases are all we have now. And her.” Mieke spoke, subtly shoving back in her pocket the false documents she had been fiddling for the beginning of their encounter. Covering her husband’s hand with hers, stroking both her man and child, she threw a begging stare at the woman.

“I’m so sorry to hear about such a tragedy. Thanks God you’re safe. And your daughter will have a good life here.”

“Again welcome to Sydney Mr and Mrs Courtney. I wish you the very best, for you and miss… Jesus I forgot to note it!”

Stefan opened his mouth, the woman obviously misunderstood what he had said, but Mieke cut him off.

“Brittany. We thought it could be a nice reminding of where she’s from. It’s out little Bree.” She lied with such self-assurance Stefan thought for one second it was true.

Plus he liked how it sounded. A hint of Brandt, a hint of their past. The perfect name for their baby girl. The perfect mix of their past to start to build their future. A brighter future for them all.

“Owww! How beautiful name you’re wearing darling!” She rambled in awe again, while writing the name down the precious paper. She checked all the items were filled then stamped the three copies, and handed one to Mieke.

“You have me disturbed from my task, little doll. Sorry I can’t resist to kiss her, may I?”

She was already up her chair, walking around her desk. She stopped near Stefan, waiting for permission. He nodded though he felt like she was playing tricks to take his daughter from him and throw him in jail for misspelling his name or caught in the act of lying.

He relaxed a bit whilst crossing the genuine shiny gaze with which she looked at his offspring. Lightly patting the baby girl’s back, she attacked her chubby cheeks, stroking and kissing every pieces she could.

“Ohhh little princess you’re so adorable!” She glanced at Mieke, both women had a large grin taped on their faces. Women. ..

“I’m already fond of her! ”

“Miss Gibson! ” the boss barked from behind them.  “Contact with migrants is totally forbidden, so have I to remind you the consequences of disobey an order?”

Startling, the woman squeezed quickly Stefan’s hand and rushed back to her desk, apologizing to her grumpy boss, her look on the floor.

Sitting down, she gathered the papers spread on her desk, mumbling to the couple.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Was worth the reprimand.” Then spoke louder the usual speech  “Welcome to Australia Mr Courtney. The authority will study your case and you’re waited next month with wife and child to finalize your identity papers and immigration file.”

She wrote down the date and time of the appointment on a squared paper and reached out for Mieke to take it. Miss Gibson winked at the couple, placing her forefinger on her lips to seal whatever secret she wanted to keep from her boss’ ears.

*

Stefan grabbed then yanked at Mieke’s wrist, making her face and bump into him. Stealing her lips in a searing kiss, he pinned her roughly against the wall of their new flat.

Gasping for air, Mieke whispered whilst being nipped and licked along her neck.

“Stefan, what’s that for?”

Not that she was complaining, but it has been a long, stressful day and she craved to test their bed.

They had walked across the whole town, seeking after an address miss Lizzy had scrawled in the back of the appointment note.

128 Kookaburras Street, Sydney. Ask for Cora. Good luck. Lizzy Gibson.

They had finally reach the street, exhausted and soaked in sweat, Mieke’s arms burned and hurt for holding miss Courtney, Stefan’s shoulders and hands dead for lifting the two luggage for miles. Both had worn their heavy woolen coats all the way, under the hard sun of the Australian summer.

Cora was Lizzy’s cousin. She lived in a small house which had an extra tiny flat to rent next door. She was as in love at the first sight with baby Bree as Lizzy had been and more than happy to have that lovely couple as neighbours.

The two floors furnished flat was cozy, there was just a kitchen and a water closet downstairs and a bedroom upstairs. No bathroom here but she nicely offered them to use hers as often as they needed. Plus a free babysitter whenever they want or need to entrust the little girl.

Bree was soon asleep, they manage to make a crib with a blankets and a big basket they borrowed to Cora. Time to settle down and enjoy their new home.  Mieke would happily crash down their bed and sleep for the next three days.

The way her husband grinded against her thigh made her realize they could test all their new bed’s potential.

He grinned against her skin, teasing her:

“I just can’t wait to start our honeymoon babe. ”

“Honeymoon?"  It must be the Australian thick air, they’ve been married for 6 months already and had enjoyed a long, sensual, suave and Earth-shattering honeymoon in London.

"I’ve never got to make love to my new wife.” Lifting her up swiftly from the ground, he walked her towards their bedroom, which he intended to fully take advantage of.

“Come here, Mrs Courtney, let’s have some fun in there.”

*

Unfortunately, all the money they had saved wasn’t worth that much then.  Untoward side effect of an economy being in war. Marvin provided a job on the docks to Stefan, they needed arms to unload the cargos down the ship. After only three days of getting up at the crack of dawn and lifting too much heavy stuff till sunset, Stefan had to forfeit, the wound on his stomach hurt like a bitch and he got fever, which had Mieke worried to death.

Marvin worried too and strictly forbad Stefan to come back to work. He promised him to find a job more appropriate, like truck driver or foreman but in no case he would want to see Stefan lifting heavy boxes.

That stubborn German insisted to leave the bed and have his job back. He had to afford the rent and refused to see Mieke forced to leave their daughter to work herself to death.

“I’m not the one who’s dying for working my ass off.” She snapped at him when he wretchedly fell on the floor, too weak to stand up straight.

“Stop scolding me woman. You’d better bring your little ass here and give me a hand to get up.” He laughed when she wiggled her ass before his nose, pretty sure it could help him to get better.

Pulling on his hand, she managed to have him up, letting him lean heavily on her shoulder. Stefan stumbled back, hooking his arms around her waist, making them both tumble on the bed. He rolled over her, hissing from some pain coming from his abdomen.

She laughed out loud when feeling his not-weak-anymore member which was grinding against her belly.

“Let me practice you once or twice. It will help to recover faster.” He teased in her ear, biting on her neck.

“Word.” She just uttered, before being kissed roughly and hearing her panties torn and thrown to the side.

* They got up early that day. They were expected at the Immigration department to get their official Australian documents as political refugees.  They were registered as English citizen and with a job and respectable situation, it won’t be long before they got their Australian citizenship. Technically, Courtney  -damn her name is Brittany now- could be considerate as an Aussie, like they say Down Under, the boat she was born on flew the Australian flag. To tell the truth, none of them really cared. As long as they were together, a roof over their heads, happiness filling their plates.

New name, new start, new life.

They celebrated that day by having one of the best sex they’d ever had,  laughing between their sighs of pleasure, him tickling her sides while she was purposely leaving marks on his neck.

Had he been aware it was the last time he was making love to his wife, he would have made it last longer. He would have been more careful to record her slightest moans, the feeling of her lips on him, the softness of her skin and curves. Every line of her beautiful face.

Wails coming from the crib forced them to get out of bed, and get ready for their appointment.

Knock, knock.

Stefan quickly put a shirt on and walked downstairs to open the door to this unexpected visitor. Probably Cora, their neighbour, who was used to bring them extra veggies or bottle of milk she had. Or someone turned angry by their loud screams of their latest ecstasy. He chuckled at the thought as he grabbed the doorknob.

“Mr Stephen Courtney? "  Two men all suited in seriousness and black uniforms were standing on the threshold, papers in hand.

"Yes?”

He thought Australian authorities were so kind to bring them the documents at home. It would keep them from a long walk across the city; Rain was beginning to fall, and he wouldn’t want Courtney  -Bree, he wasn’t used to call her that- to be soaked and grumpy. He drew a filthy smirk on his face; he could put the baby back in her bed and Mieke back to their.

“Does a certain Captain Stefan Brandt mean something to you, Mr. Courtney?” The man asked.

His heart stopped. His mouth got dry. His grip tightened on the knob, his knees getting weak for a second.

“No.” He curtly replied.

Mieke popped up behind him, and stopped the baby talk she was singing to Courtney. Bree.

“We were talked a German SS officer by the name of Stefan Brandt had arrived by sea with wife and kid, and tries to hide behind false name here in Sydney.”

Despite the stabs in his guts, Stefan  -Stephen!- stood up straight, poker face.

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m afraid I can’t accept your answer Mr. Courtney. The sailor who spit out the information was pretty clear: a tall dark blond male with blue eyes and a damn pretty brunette who gave birth in the ship to a lovely baby girl, about 6 weeks ago. How old is your baby girl Mr Courtney? If I’m not mistaken, you told the immigration service lady she was born on board.”

Connor.

This stupid Irish was almost dumb with an empty stomach, but completely unable to hold his tongue after three drinks.

Stephen clenched his teeth, and didn’t answer.

Staring coldly behind his shoulder, the man continued :

“Does that pretty lady of yours know about that?”

“No. She doesn’t.” He cut him off.

“If I may, I’d love to hear it from her.” He insisted, one step forward.

“No, you may not."  Stefan stepped back to protect his wife and child.

"Now if you would excuse us, we’re expected.” Stefan grabbed Mieke’s hand, interlocking their fingers together. No. Nobody would divide them.

The man stiffened and reached his arm out, preventing them to walk further out.

“I’m sorry but you’re not going anywhere. You’ll follow us to the police station where we’ll proceed to an official interrogation. I’d like to clear some things up about who you are. Or who you pretend to be.”

Mieke crushed her husband’s hand, holding her breath. No. Not that curse again.  She bit her lips which were going to whisper her husband’s name. She wouldn’t risk making a mistake and jeopardize his chance.

“Baby…” she tried.

The tense filled the air around them and Brittany started wailing, her cries getting louder despite her mother’s attempt to calm her down. Losing battle.

The man in black grinned devilishly. “Think wise, Mr. Courtney or whatever your name is. We ’re empowered to use the force if necessary and there are things nobody here is willing for your wife and your adorable child to witness. Aren’t we?”

Stefan clenched his teeth, jawlines sharp. He could feel Mieke trembled. Following these guys was the smartest thing to do, they had repeated their story again and again, to be ready for a moment like that. They had just pictured they would be settled in an office of the Immigration Department building, not here, on their own household. He nonetheless couldn’t resolve himself to let go off the knob he was pulverizing.

No. He won’t leave his house. He won’t leave his wife. Or his daughter. No way. He won’t allow anyone to jeopardize his family, his happiness. He couldn’t stand to figure out his baby girl growing up without her dad. Never let his devastating childhood happen again.

The man was not known to be patient. He was the head detective of the Sydney police department, in charge with the possibly ‘alien enemy’ cases. He was very skilled to detect the cheaters, he got nose for lies and inconsistencies in the stories that are a complete fabrication. He could worm the truth out of the toughest guy, beating up those rats was his favorite part of his job. He had some Nazis or deserters on his list of prides, and was craving to add this one. As cute as his little family seemed, he wouldn’t fool him. A German wuss and a Jewish princess, he shivered in disgust. He would never allow bad blood invade his country. Australia deserved the best of white, honest people.

The cries of the ashamed mixed-blood baby started to piss him off and the brazen faced standing still in front of him wrecked his nerves. He was the law, he was mandated by the Australian government to take that man for questioning. He had to submit to his authority.

“Please, follow me.” He ordered.

Stefan didn’t even move a finger, but tightened his grip on Mieke. He glanced at her, to snap once again to her gorgeous face, which was wasted by terror. She was clung to her screaming daughter, petrified by the situation.

Couldn’t they just be happy? Left alone, just the three of them?

“Now!” The man barked, grabbing Stefan’s wrist.

Game over.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Stefan yanked at the man’s grip. He knew he was wrong -oh yes he was- but he saw no other options.

Though the man was short and skinny, he was quick to strongly punch Stefan in the face, then in the guts, obviously used to fight.

Mieke screamed as she witnessed his husband crashing down the floor, grunting loudly as he wrapped his arms on his stomach.

She jumped forward to grab his husband, the baby roaring out in her other arm.  The man bluntly pushed her backward, purposely crashing a foot on Stefan’s hand as he poorly tried to roll on all four.

“Bastard!” He growled between his teeth, the taste of blood invaded his mouth. “Stay away from her!”

The man bent over his face, pressing his heel harder on Stefan’s hand, eliciting a loud rumble from the back of his throat.

“Are you giving me orders, Mr. Courtney? Do you think you’re allowed to open your mouth? I gave you the opportunity to talk lately but you just screwed it up.” He lifted his heel just enough to crash it violently back on Stefan’s hand.

Stefan howled in pain, curling his knees under his chest in a desperate attempt to stand up.

“Down!” He yelled at Stefan, kicking violently in his side again. “You’ll stand up only when I decide you could.”

“No!” Mieke screamed out, kneeling down near him.

The man kicked her roughly in the shoulder, making her fall hard on the floor. Tightening her grip on Courtney not to let her down, Mieke shrieked both in fear and rage.

“FUCK YOU!” Stefan shouted , tugging at the sleeve of the man who was threatening his family.

“Don’t you dare!"  The man lost his nerves and hit Stefan like his fist was a hammer, again and again until his knuckles got red.  Stefan could only glance at Mieke who was soaked in tears, hugging Courtney safely against her chest, rocking her to make her stop crying.

Then the man started kicking relentlessly on Stefan’s belly, smirking at the crack of his ribs. Gasping from a flash of pain, Stefan threw up, breakfast and blood, while hearing in the distance, his brain getting dizzy and confused:

"And consider yourself lucky I won’t throw your Jewish wife and spawn in a camp. They’re all full of rats and black beetles. I don’t want to add more garbage out there.” The man said in his ear, throwing a threatening glance to Mieke.

“Mieke…” Stefan weakly whispered.

The man viciously smirked in contentment.  He had warned him, he was the law. He had power of life and death on strangers, mostly traitors to their countries. He doubted for a second that the guy was a soldier, a captain. He was so weak, despite his large frame and bulging arms.

The woman was still crying , the baby screaming for her little life.

“Shut the fuck up!” He growled at the two females, walking across Stefan’s body, a threatening fist over his head.

Mieke crept back against the wall, hiding her baby girl with her arms. The palm violently hit her face, making her head jerk to the side. Crouching down, the man wiped the tears that soaked her face, letting trails of blood, Stefan’s blood, on her bruised jaw.

“Look at you, poor lamb. Sometimes I feel like the Führer is right. Jewish aren’t better than those dirty natives. You’re even not able to find someone strong enough to protect you.” Narrowing his eyes to scrutinize her face and swollen cheek, he snorted.

“What a shame, you’ve got a damn pretty face. Stay hidden until the bruises disappear and then you could hook a bit to save money.  Pretty Jewish princesses like you make good whores on the docks.”

She averted her eyes from his disgusting lustful stare and locked Stefan’s beaten face. Clenching her trembling jaws not to let a sigh or a sob out, she silently cry watching the waste that was her husband.

Stefan couldn’t move a thing, turning his head to witness that bastard hit his wife was already a miracle. Tears flowing down his face, blood slipping out from his cut mouth, he made a lame attempt to reach out his hand towards her.

“Mieke..” he barely whispered, bubbles of blood spitting from his mouth and nostril.

“DAMMIT! This vermin is hard to knock down!” The man left Mieke to face the nearly unconscious body of that so-called Mr. Courtney.

One last kick in his abs, one last punch on his jaw, one last heart-rending scream from Mieke calling his name covered by his daughter’s cries. Then nothing.

Black out.

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