#there’s going to be AI videos sneaking in and if you don’t look carefully you WILL get tricked

[glassrunner]

i’m so unbelievably fucking frustrated that something as cool and groundbreaking as AI (which i literally went back to college to study!!!) is being used for such fucking nefarious purposes

i always dreamed of finding the spirit in the machine and now it’s just being bastardized to take away jobs from hardworking creators — mostly by arrogant techbro fucknuts who sneer at these creators for pursuing art, but then tell on themselves for not having the discipline to truly learn a craft

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 6: Stargazing into Reality

AO3 Link:  archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/65008555

Summary: What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?

But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - -

If the other members of the Science Team would have been awake, they would have told Gordon to "go the fuck to sleep".

But here he was, standing on his balcony, leaning against the concrete railing and staring into the night.

It was still the same day as his and the Science Team’s arrival at his apartment. The same day of their escape from Black Mesa and… well, Gordon still didn’t know enough to be sure that that was actually all they ran from.

He didn’t want to bluntly force more information out of them, no matter how lightly most of them had seemed to have taken their new-found freedom.

People were good at not talking about things that cause them pain.

He should know, he had done it only a few hours ago.

It had been almost too easy for him to deflect the team’s worries and draw their attention towards the more positive things he took away from the entire simulation experience.

Had it been healthy for him to not admit he was hurting? No. But at the moment it seemed better to just pretend that no harm had been done. Couldn’t they have just one day of blissful ignorance of what had happened?

The comfort of the make-believe almost casual get-together with friends was nice… but it wouldn’t last long. Gordon would have to face his new reality, as would the rest of the Science Team.

He scratched at his injured arm absentmindedly. The damage had been done… and the healing process had to start eventually. Physically and mentally.

Gordon felt himself shiver slightly, despite having brought his soft blanket outside with him. Maybe it was the lingering anxiety and the remnants of adrenalin; he wasn’t sure. After all, his expertise was programming and theoretical physics - not psychology, chemistry and how these two influenced with human biology.

He was suddenly pulled out of his long-winded thoughts by the sound of the door to the balcony gently opening behind him.

Turning his head, he found Dr Coomer and Bubby joining him in staring at the night sky.

The silence that settled between them was comfortable, the draining thoughts in Gordon’s head getting replaced by a content low buzz as he slowly became more aware of the sounds around him.

Trees softly moving in the wind. The noises of cars driving by below them. A crow cawing in the distance… and the gentle sound of drizzling rain drumming on the roof above Gordon’s apartment.

“... it is… truly something else to see everything being so... real.”

Bubby was now leaning against the railing just like Gordon was, but his hands were occupied with gently tapping on the concrete, even when he didn’t take his eyes off the stars in the sky.

Dr Coomer hummed in agreement beside them, following Bubby’s gaze.

“Agreed. Neither photos nor videos did any of this justice…”

“Neither of you ever got to see the real world like this, right?”, Gordon asked.

Dr Coomer nodded.

“As I told you before, Gordon… I am the only true AI in our group of friends. Black Mesa was quite adamant of not giving me the opportunity to leave the premises. I will admit, I had seen glimpses of the real world occasionally… but those got wildly overshadowed by the amount of media I managed to get access to.”

“And I was fortunate enough to see a few things Harold got his hands on. It wasn’t much, but I’ll always treasure it.”, Bubby added, earning a soft smile from Dr Coomer.

Gordon pondered for a moment, letting their words sink in and trying to choose his words carefully-

“Well… now you two don’t have to sneak in new secret experiences for each other anymore. The world is out there for you to explore and experience! No worries of being found out anymore… and no more Black Mesa.”

“No more Black Mesa.”, Bubby agreed.

“No more Black Mesa.”, Dr Coomer echoed.

Silence spread for a while once more with the three of them just taking in the night and no pressure to keep a conversation going.

“Sleep doesn’t come as easy to you than the rest of us, does it, Gordon?”, Dr Coomer suddenly asked.

Gordon blinked at that.

“Well...”

Looking back into his apartment, he thought it over.

Despite their very energetic natures, all members of the Science Team had conked out shortly after the impromptu late-night dinner.

Even Benrey, who had claimed previously that he didn’t need any sleep, had sunken further into the bean chair and was gracing the others in the room with the softest snoring noise any of them had ever heard.

To his own surprise, Gordon found it quite calming.

Well, really, the entire current situation was.

No one had really spoken up about sleeping arrangements… but in the end, they didn’t have to. They all knew that everyone would only be able to rest if they were huddled closely together for the night’s rest, just like they did during the simulation.

It had become apparent that everyone had actually scooted even closer to each other than they ever had before, while also taking full advantage of the extra pillows, blankets and two guest mattresses on the floor that everyone had helped drag into the living room.

Dr Coomer and Bubby had been previously fast asleep on the couch, wrapped in blankets and holding onto each other. Tommy, Darnold and Sunkist were still curled up on the mattresses among pillows and blankets, with Benrey on the bean chair between them and the couch. Gman had nodded off in one of the armchairs on the other side of the table in the middle, arms crossed, head slightly leaning to the side.    

Looking over the peacefully resting forms of his friends, Gordon smiled softly.

He had the suspicion that none of them had known true rest and safety in a long time, as he recalled everyone’s words on their imprisonment in Black Mesa.

Which… truly seemed to have been just that. Imprisonment.

Gordon didn’t know enough yet to understand what that entailed… but he knew what prolonged stress and exhaustion did to people. And frankly… all of them showed clear signs of each, even if most of them were not human.

Maybe with time, they’d lessen.

Gordon closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on the feeling of the blanket around him and the wind messing slightly with his long hair.

He jumped, eyes wide open, as he suddenly realized that he had absentmindedly started to scratch on his arm again. His wounded arm.

He had managed to keep his old habit of scratching at wounds under control when everyone had been awake… but now it proved to be more difficult.

Furrowing his brows, he stared at the arm - his unharmed hand running over the skin and applying pressure to soothe the strained muscles somewhat.

He hadn’t asked before, but he had a suspicion why one person from the simulation was missing.

“... Gordon?”

Gordon was startled out of his thoughts once more, blinking himself a bit more awake and focused. He was instantly faced with the worried and guilty look on Dr Coomer’s face.

“We’re going to get Forzen for taking your arm. That’s a promise.”, Bubby said with clear determination in voice, brows furrowed as he continued to stare into the night.

“So… it was Forzen who took m-my arm...”, Gordon managed to force out..

Dr Coomer gave Gordon a nod.

“He had favoured working for Black Mesa as part of their “military”, despite being in the same boat as all of us.”

Gordon remained silent, letting Dr Coomer talk, while he himself focused on listening.

“I can not hold it against him. All of us have done things we regret with the slight hope of escaping-”

“Dr Coomer, I don’t hold the clones against you-”

“You should, Gordon. No matter the reason behind my desperation... it was cruel of me. Nothing I could say validates my choice of attempting to harm you for a minuscule glimpse at freedom.”

“...”

“What I can say though wholeheartedly, is that I am sorry. You promised to get us out from the start… and I didn’t believe you. I was a fool. I think… all of us were at different times. We had never met someone who kept their selfless promises, you see...”

Dr Coomer wrung his hands in thought.

“Maybe that’s why Forzen didn’t even consider questioning harming you for Black Mesa’s sake.”

“For Black Mesa’s sake? But-”

Bubby turned his head towards them, squinting slightly-

“Didn’t you listen? The military in the simulation belonged to Black Mesa. Of course, everything the military did would be orchestrated by them. Though… I will take the blame for letting you get into harm's way like that in the first place. Not fully! But… you know...”

Gordon watched as Dr Coomer reached out to hold one of Bubby’s hands. He let out a sigh.

“I… I get it. And thank you for saying that, Bubby. That actually means a lot to me -”

Bubby nodded, but once again avoided looking at Gordon directly.

“- I guess it does all come down to you all not trusting me… which… yeah, absolutely makes sense. I don’t think I would have trusted a random programmer dude either, had I been in your situation...”

Gordon pulled his blanket tighter around himself.

“... I am just… like I said, I don’t mind all the shit I saw in the simulation that much… but what happened to my fucking arm? That- that... ”, he stammered out, feeling his grip on his stump tighten once more- “That… hurts. It terrifies me. I had a lot of injuries in my life but… this t-takes the fucking cake. E-Even if I am not in pain right now, thanks to the layer of Sweet Voice on it...”

“But my mention of sleep stands. You do need to rest regardless, Gordon. Now even more so than before”, Dr Coomer tried to reason, resting a hand on Gordon’s shoulder- “I hate to be somewhat overbearing with insisting on this but I worry about your wellbeing. We all do.”

Gordon felt Bubby’s free hand rest on his other shoulder mere seconds later.

“At least lay down and rest your fucking eyes, dingus. We’ll still be there when you wake up. And… I will not roll you off your spot like a barrel to wake you up... I promise.”, the scientist said, an awkward but apologetic look on his face.

Despite the heavy topics of the past few minutes, Gordon let out a deep chuckle.

“Don’t think I won’t ever do it again though! I will have you know that I absolutely will not resist the urge, once you’re back to your normal health levels! Everyone needs to get vibe-checked from time to time!”, Bubby stated and gave Gordon a last gentle pat on the shoulder before opening the balcony door for the three of them.

Having Bubby walk ahead to help him to his previous spot on his armchair, while Dr Coomer had a hand on Gordon’s back to keep him steady - it filled Gordon’s heart with a warm feeling of safety.

Maybe all that mattered right now, was that his friends actively tried to make things right, one small step after another... on their collective way to healing.

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

Could I request Tony having a stressful day and Peter giving him a hug? Cause heck they both deserve hugs and Iron dad does not get nearly enough ^-^ thank you so much if you do!!

Absolutely yes. I can’t remember when you sent this, precious anon, but I finally have an answer. Sorry this is WAY more IronFam than you probably wanted, but that’s where my brain went. Sorry. I hope you like it. ♥ Canon-wise....we’re ignoring it, as always. Endgame ended less painfully.

Warnings for strong language, needle reference (EpiPen), minor Good Will Hunting spoilers

Ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong from the moment your feet hit the floor?

Tony’s having one of those days, and he hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet.

.................................

It’s exactly 3:47am when the entire lake house is suddenly lit up brighter than Christmas; every single screwed-in bulb in Tony’s house is on as bright as it will go, and just moments later the emergency alarm is blaring in Tony’s ears.

“Holy shit-” Tony groans and pushes himself out of bed as quickly as his aching muscles will allow. Pepper shoots up beside him, her hands thrown over her ears as she looks to him in a panic. “FRIDAY, what the FUCK is going on?!”

“Security breach detected on the roof, Boss; a window at the back west entrance.”

“I swear to GOD, if Peter tried to sneak in without waking me up again-”

“Mr. Parker is not scheduled to arrive until approximately 4:47 this afternoon, Boss-”

“I know, FRI; I know. Thanks for the update.” Tony runs a hand down his face as Pepper shoots out of bed and toward Morgan’s room. “Do we have a visual on the break-in point?”

“There are not currently cameras within that vicinity, Boss.”

“Why the hell not? Clearly it’s not secure.”

“Here, Boss.”

Tony grits his teeth when his own voice accompanies the screaming emergency siren. “We don’t need to spend any more time or money on the damn security cameras, Hap; we’ve covered damn inch of the house and a whole acre around it with surveillance. Only bugs could get in here without us knowing already.”

“Okay, okay, wise ass. Turn off the incriminating evidence.” Tony grabs a bluetooth earpiece and activates his wrist gauntlet while hustling toward his bedroom door. He’s just gotten downstairs when FRIDAY pipes up again.

“Incoming call from ‘Forehead of Security,’ Boss.”

“Put him through.”

“Tony?!” Happy’s voice is somehow groggy and alert at the same time. “What the hell is going on?”

“About to go investigate, Hap. A breach on the roof.”

“Oh my god, Tony-” 

“I know; I know. You told me so. Trust me, FRIDAY covered that already.”

“Tony, I don’t think you should go alone-”

“Then get someone up here ASAP. I’m going. It’s 4 in the damn morning, and I’d love to at least get some peace before my 7am meeting.” Tony slowly peels the front door open and pads across the porch and into the yard. He slowly circles the house, Happy’s breathing the only sounds in his ears. “Don’t see anything....” He murmurs before crossing to a compartment he built into the side of the house to house (read: hide) ladders. He’s just propping the aluminum against the roof when Happy speaks up.

“Wait, is that a ladder? Tony, are you sure you’re okay to-”

“It’s fine, Hap.”

“Tony-” 

Tony is on the roof before Happy can protest any further. The exhausted engineer carefully creeps across the roof toward the window. “FRI, where exactly am I going?”

“According to security sensors, the first window pane facing the west; I believe it should be around the corner from your vantage point.”

“Gotcha.” Tony approaches slowly, hand extended and ready to shoot if necessary. “I don’t know who the hell you are or how the hell you got here, but-” He rounds the corner and freezes, his blood boiling from his head to his toes. 

“FRIDAY. Remind me to update security protocol to ignore idiotic birds who can’t figure out that windows don’t move.”

“Done, Boss.”

-------

By the time Tony makes it back inside and upstairs, and Pepper and Morgan are waiting for him in their bed. Pepper smiles at him tiredly. 

“Job well done?”

“No job to be done.” Tony grumbles. “The idiot bird killed itself before I even got to it. Not a pretty sight.”

Pepper cringes, and Morgan whines and reaches out for her father; Tony’s heart clenches at the tear tracks on her cheeks.

“It’s okay, Morguna. Just a rogue bird.”

“Careful, sweetie-” Pepper guides Morgan into Tony’s arms, taking care around his puckered skin. The girl settles in Tony’s lap, chest to chest, and snuggles against him.  

“Well, so much for a good night’s sleep.” Tony grumbles as he rubs Morgan’s back absent-mindedly. 

Pepper sighs in agreement and settles in beside him, pulling up the covers and switching on their television, volume down low. “At least we can have a slow morning, right?”

“A very slow morning.” Tony pulls out his phone and thumbs through the messages that have accumulated already; Morgan and Pepper doze quietly around him. 

When the clock hits 5:30, FRIDAY quietly speaks up. “Might I suggest food and a shower before your meeting? You have plenty of time, so it could be an easy morning. I am sure your doctors would agree.”

“Oh but my dear, FRIDAY,” Tony whispers. “If I were well, they wouldn’t get paid as handsomely.”

The AI is silent, and he sighs. “Fine.” Tony gently nudges Pepper awake, explaining the plan, and she takes their daughter, burrowing back into the covers with her for a few more precious minutes of rest. 

Tony soon finds that FRIDAY is right (not that he would ever admit that to her); somehow the steaming water makes him feel less icky (it’s early, okay?), and he’s soon in the kitchen with the stove on, cracking an egg with one hand and stifling a yawn with the other. This soon proves to be a mistake, though, because the egg misses the pan and lands on his foot with a silent splat.

“Ugh, really?! I just cleaned that foot....”

After an otherwise uneventful breakfast, Tony heads to his office to video call into his meeting which ends up being far more eventful than he bargained for, but he supposes in the end that can only be expected when government officials are involved.

“Stark, we can’t keep this quiet anymore. The public needs to know what our plans are going forward.”

“And they will once we actually have them.” Tony licks his teeth in frustration. “I’m tired of talking in circles. We’ve been at this for 3 hours, and I’m over it. I’m not wasting anymore time here today. Next time we meet, please have something drafted that we can actually look over. In the mean time, I’ll be with my daughter.”

“Stark-”

Tony hangs up and sighs, sinking back into his chair. Simultaneously, his office door creaks open. “Daddy?”

“You psychic or something?” Tony turns in his chair and opens an arm for Morgan. 

“FRIDAY told me you were done.”

“Oh, how kind of her. Were you asking her constantly or was she just that nice?”

Morgan shrugs, and he kisses her temple. 

“What’s the plan for today, little miss? Aren’t you happy Mommy and Daddy put you in a school where you get Friday’s off?”

Morgan shrugs again and tucks closer against his side. 

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“Mommy doesn’t feel good.”

Tony’s brows crease at that. 

“Yeah? How so?” 

“She’s on the couch with a washcloth on her face; she told me I need to be quiet.”

“Shit.” Tony picks up Morgan with one arm and opens the door with the other. He keeps a finger over his lips as they quietly cross into the living room where Morgan has set up a barricade of stuffed animals around her mother. “Nice touch.” Tony whispers before placing a peck on Morgan’s nose. He carefully sits the girl on the floor before crossing to Pepper. “Hey, Pep.” Tony whispers as quietly as possible; his heart stutters when he sees silent tears tracing down Pepper’s cheeks. “Let’s go upstairs, huh? I’ll handle business down here.” 

Pepper nods as minutely as possible.

Tony carefully slides an arm behind her back and helps sit her up; he gently coaxes her to her feet and takes as much of her weight as he can, leaning their heads together as he walks his wife upstairs. Once he’s helped Pepper into bed and loaded her up with everything she could need, Tony places the tenderest of kisses on her lips. She sighs and settles as he leaves.

“FRI, let me know if she needs anything. Even if she doesn’t ask.” Tony whispers as he heads back downstairs.

“Of course, Boss.”

“Daddy? Is Mommy gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, baby, she’ll be fine, just not right now. Mommy gets migraines sometimes.”

“What’s that?”

“You know when your head hurts sometimes?”

Morgan nods.

“Like that, but sometimes Mommy can’t see, either.” Tony decides that’s all the detail Morgan needs to know that it’s serious. 

“That sounds scary.” Morgan bites her lips. 

“It can be, but we’re taking good care of her, so she’ll be fine. What about you? What’s the plan for today?”

Morgan shrugs. 

“It’s pretty outside today. We can play in your fort if you want.”

Morgan nods and goes to gather her drawing materials. “Can you read to me?” 

“Why don’t we read to each other? You’re supposed to be learning, right? How about Curious George?”

Morgan nods again and scampers off to get the book. 

Tony sighs in one of the few moments of solitude and true peace he figures he’ll get that day. At least Morgan’s fort faced away from the gory sight on the roof.

-----

Tony wishes he could trade in the ESP he’s seemed to have developed for bad days. He spends a few calm hours in the fort with Morgan; they read multiple volumes of Curious George and color multiple pictures of kittens before lunch time comes around. 

When Tony has his back turned, gathering Morgan’s crayons amid the overturned box, his daughter lets out a screech that makes his blood freeze. He whips around to find Morgan squatted on the ground with one hand gripping the other tightly and tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I-I-I think I g-got biiiiiiiiiit!” Morgan wails, and Tony quickly sees that she does indeed have large, red welts covering her hand as well as a few stray, tiny ants.

“Shit-” Tony abandons the crayons and grabs up Morgan, knowing that the bumps should not be that big or swollen. Tony races into the house with Morgan, and calls, “FRIDAY? Call the closest hospital and have the car ready with the route.” He digs through the kitchen medicine cabinet and pulls out the EpiPen that Tony had insisted they keep around in the rare event that Pepper came into contact with strawberries. Call him paranoid, but apparently that would pay off today.

“On it, Boss.”

“Is Pepper awake?”

“Not currently, Boss. She has fallen asleep.”

“Thank god. If she wakes up, fill her in.”

“Of course, Boss.”

“Okay, Morgs. This is gonna hurt a little, but just a pinch. It’ll make you feel better, okay?” Tony braces himself before stabbing the EpiPen into Morgan’s thigh; the girl cries and jerks but ultimately just holds on tighter as her father whispers soothing words into her ear.   

They’re in the car and speeding down the road before Tony can properly breathe again, Morgan strapped in the backseat and still whimpering. 

“It’ll be okay, baby; I promise.” This is his mantra all the way to the closest emergency clinic. Thankfully, Morgan’s allergy isn’t life-threatening, but after doing all the research he could about allergies and anaphylaxis because of Pepper, Tony had refused to risk it.

It’s 2:30 when they finally get back to the silent house, and Tony carries a slumbering Morgan to the couch and collapses. He knows he should put her in her bed to nap, but moments like today remind him to keep her close. 

Tony doesn’t even realize he’s fallen asleep until he hears the front door open. He cracks an eye to find Peter Parker frozen in the doorway and staring at him and Morgan on the couch. 

“I can go-” Peter mouths and thumbs back to where the car that brought him is idling. 

“No, it’s fine, kid.” Tony groans and stretches as best he can with Morgan still clinging onto him like an octopus. “If we don’t get up, we won’t sleep tonight.” 

“If you’re sure....”

“Get over here and help an old man with his clingy koala kid, will you?”

Peter laughs unexpectedly and waves the driver outside away.

“Morgan? Mo? Guess who’s here? It’s your favorite boy-”

“You’re my favorite.” Morgan mumbles sleepily.

“Faker.” Tony squeezes her tight and then releases her completely. “I’m not a boy; your old dad is an old man.”

Morgan scrunches up her nose in protest and curls back into him. 

“Go see Peter; Dad needs to pee.”

“TMI, Mr.-uh, Tony.” It’s Peter’s turn to scrunch up his nose, and Tony just grins.

“I’m a fan of transparency, Pete.”

“Since when?”

Tony rolls his eyes as Peter scoops Morgan into his arms. 

“Hey, monkey.” Peter all but cooes at her, and Tony suppresses a grin. No one turns men to putty like Morgan Stark. “You can cling on to me for a little bit, okay? Your dad needs a break.”

Morgan whines for show but immediately wraps her arms around Peter’s neck and burrows her face into his shoulder. 

“Where’s Miss-um, Pepper?”

“Migraine.” 

“Ooo.” Peter frowns in sympathy. 

“Yeah. I’ve been on Morgan duty today. Fill you in when I get back.” Tony scoots out of the room, and Peter laughs after him.

“Only about the rest of the day, please!”

Tony chuckles in return. When he comes back out, he finds Morgan awake and propped against Peter’s side, a stuffed animal squished in between them as he reads quietly from Curious George. 

“George is a hit today, it seems.” Tony comments and sits on the other side of Morgan. 

“Ssshh Peter’s reading!” 

“I see that. You know what we should be doing is eating because I know three Starks who skipped lunch today and a Parker who has a crazy big appetite.”

“Can we have s’ghetti?”

“Spaghetti?”

“S’ghetti!” Morgan insists and giggles.

“I suppose so, though I’ll make sure to include more ingredients than you do letters. Come help me.” Tony gestures and both kids rise and follow him to the kitchen. 

Peter cuts vegetables for the salad; Morgan hand-shreds lettuce and butters the garlic bread, and Tony handles all things pasta and sauce; they all chat amicably between them, Tony and Peter filling each other in on that Friday’s events with Morgan pitching in to Tony’s side often. 

Beckoned by the smells wafting from downstairs, Pepper manages to come down for dinner, looking tired but functional when she sees her little family settling in for a meal together. Peter quickly crosses and helps her to the table; she embraces him lightly and places a kiss in his hair before sitting, steering him back to the kitchen with a light pat on his back. 

Morgan eagerly serves her mother her salad, also receiving hugs and kisses from the quiet woman, and settles in at her seat. 

Peter smiles at the two and turns to the kitchen to find Tony dishing up the pasta and facing away from him. Before Peter can really think about it, he’s crossed the floor tiles and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, his head resting heavily against his father figure’s back. 

Tony tenses for a moment before his brow creases in worry. “You okay, Pete?”

“Fine.” Peter breathes. “Just happy to be here.”

“Me, too, buddy.” Tony squeezes Peter’s arm, knowing the implied conversation that has passed between them countless times since he got Peter back. They stand like this for a moment, appreciating the quiet peace after a chaotic day, listening to Morgan and Pepper quietly talking in the next room before Peter sighs and steps back. 

“Want some help?”

“What? You think I can’t carry four plates of spaghetti on my own?”

“No, and you probably shouldn’t try.”

“You’re probably right.” 

The meal passes peacefully, the main issue being Morgan’s inability to eat pasta and tomato sauce in a clean manner, and soon Tony and Peter are alone in the sitting room, Good Will Hunting playing quietly on the television as they stare languidly at the screen.

“Big day, huh?” Tony chuckles as Peter settles heavily into the couch next to him. The boy’s hand and arm are propping up his head, his eyes hooded. 

“Yeah. I kinda skipped the patrol details so Morgan wouldn’t freak out.” 

“When did you patrol?”

“I’m on minimum day this semester.”

“Right, right.”

“Yeah, I, uh, stopped an armed robbery. A lady up in one of the swankier districts that doesn’t have super tight security.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. She was really nice. Offered me a reward,” Peter yawns and stretches. “But I couldn’t take it, you know? Didn’t seem right.”

“And you made it out without a scratch this time?”

“For once, yeah.”

“You’re improving.”

“So, ant allergies, huh?”

Tony sighs. “Yup, so we’ll have to fortify Morgan’s fort from now on. I’m amazed we didn’t find out sooner, quite frankly.”

Peter hums in reply. 

“Hey, Tony?” Peter pipes up after a few minutes of silence. 

“Yeah, Pete?”

“You’re a great dad....And mentor.” Peter stutters out after a moment of hesitation. 

Tony looks over, but Peter refuses to look back, his eyes pointedly glued to the screen where Will Hunting is sobbing and holding on to Sean like a lifeline. Tony sighs and taps Peter’s shoulder. “Come here, kid.” 

Peter sighs, making a big show of how tired he is and how troubled by Tony’s request he pretends to be, but he melts against Tony when the man hugs him against his side and remains there when Tony lets go. 

“Comfy?”

Peter nods, nearly cross-eyed from trying to keep his eyes open, and Tony chuckles. “Go to sleep, kiddo. We can finish this tomorrow.”

Peter scrunches up his face in protest, but Tony feels the teen’s dead weight against his side. “Seriously, kid. I can’t sleep here, and I can’t carry you upstairs. Let’s go.” Tony turns off the television and coaxes Peter to his feet; he keeps one arm around Peter’s shoulders to guide him upstairs and to his appointed room.

“Good night, Peter.”

“Good...night.” Peter slurs before pulling Tony in for a tight hug and collapsing into his bed. 

“Clingy today, huh?” Tony comments as he tucks the kid in.

Peter’s words are light and wispy as air as he breathes out, “May says...hugs are the best...remedy for a bad...day.”

“She’s a smart lady.” Tony runs a hand through Peter’s hair. “Night, bud.”

Peter just hums quietly before turning over.

Tony quietly slips into his room and into bed, careful not to disturb Pepper. He settles in with a deep sigh, and stares at the ceiling as he wills himself into sleep. As his mind wanders, he reflects on the insanity of the day but finds for once that a warmth has settled in his chest. He thinks of Morgan, safe in her bed, and Pepper, safely beside him, and Peter, safe in his room, and the quiet support from all of them, and for once, Tony Stark slips into a full night of restful sleep. 

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (41)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, DEADPOOL & X-MEN

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  

Vernichtung - Destruction, Annhialation.

It was what you were named and what you were supposed to be but the only thing you wanted to destroy was Bucky Barnes.

The ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on enjoying it quite so much.

But when your past catches up to you in the form of the mad scientist who made you, Bucky might be one of the only things that can save you from yourself. You can’t run from what you are but with his help, you can fight back.

Current Word Count -  114,250

MASTERLIST  or   Read on Ao3

Moodboard by @talesofakindredspirit

Chapter Forty-One - Mischeif Managed 

You had made a deal with Sam Wilson and it was time to pay up.

“Mind if I join you guys?” You asked as you sauntered over to them.

Bucky and Steve blinked at you in surprise and Sam smirked.

“Sure Doll.” Bucky said, shrugging off his confusion and kissing you while Sam made gagging noises.

Bucky flipped him off without breaking the kiss.

“Not that we aren’t happy to have you but you hate running. And being up early.” Steve pointed out.

“Leave her alone.” Sam and Bucky said together.

“Maybe I just want to spend time with my three favourite guys?” You said with a grin.

There was a muffled noise of outrage from the vents.

“Other than Clint of course...” You added.

“Alright alright. You might wanna stretch first though.” Steve surrendered.

“I’ll help you sweetheart.” Bucky said with a lascivious smirk.

“I’ve got her.” Sam said, pushing Bucky out of the way with a disgusted frown.

They started bickering amongst themselves and failed to notice you telling Steve you’d already stretched and jogging away with the blonde super soldier.

Quarter of a mile later they caught up, Bucky at a jog and Sam at a run.

“I’m gonna hang back with Sam, you two go on ahead.” You told them and Steve looked relieved as the two centurions picked up the pace.  

“Wait for it...” Sam muttered angrily.

Less than ten minutes later you heard the pounding footsteps.

“On your left.”

“On your right.”

“Assholes.” Sam snapped as they overtook you.

You and Sam made it into the woodlands and you slowed down a notch, shaking your head at Sam when he shot you a questioning look. You didn’t want to explain your plan. The one you had carefully thought out and that relied on perfect timing.

The lake came into view just before your hearing picked up on the sounds of two sets of footsteps running towards you. You bit down a smirk and ignored the nervous butterflies in your stomach.

“On your left.”

“On your... **Splash**”

At the perfectly timed second you had thrown your body to the right and collided with Bucky, knocking him into the freezing cold water.

Sam fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face and Steve hollered loudly with laughter, scaring a flock of birds as Bucky burst back through the surface of the water, spluttering.

“On your left my love.” You said, winking at the furious, soaking wet assassin.

Bucky looked so angry you were surprised there wasn’t steam rising off the water. He also looked hilarious so it was hard to take him seriously.

“You are going to pay for that.” He threatened you, walking out of the water.

“See, you’d have to catch me first.” You quipped, jogging backwards.

Bucky snarled, too angry for words as he surged forwards and you turned and broke into a sprint.

“STEVE!” Bucky roared and you heard the still laughing Captain break into a run.

The two Super Soldiers sprinted after you but you weren’t worried, they were bigger, stronger, older and more experienced but you were faster and you knew it.

You had fun with it, letting them draw closer and almost reaching for you before you actually put any effort in and easily pulled ahead of them with a mocking laugh. You ran the trail, passing Sam who was still on the ground clutching his ribs and waving jovially at him.

You ran four more laps before you started to slow down.

“THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO GENTLEMEN?” You called loudly, covering the sound of an arrow shooting across the ground behind you.

You stood on the path with your hands on your hips, taunting them as they ran towards you.

“Let’s kick it up a notch.” You called before running away.

Right on cue you heard them pick up the pace before there were two loud thumps and a symphony of curse words. You turned round to see them both on the ground, eating dirt. So consumed with the chase, neither of them had seen the wire strung across the path attached to the arrow Clint had shot and had tripped over it like you had planned.

You shot a grateful wink at the trees where Clint was hidden and ran off, laughing loudly. As soon as the video Clint was taking was uploaded to YouTube you would have paid off your debt to Sam.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When you sauntered back into the lobby of the compound victoriously you headed straight for the elevator, determined to get back to your room before an angry super soldier got a hold of you. The elevator was empty but as the doors whooshed closed the hairs on the back of your neck prickled.

There was a slow clap and you whirled round and hissed at Loki who was standing in the corner looking smug.

“Why you you keep sneaking up on me?” You howled angrily.

“I shouldn’t be able to, you have enhanced senses. Perhaps you should stop letting your guard down?” He suggested indifferently.

“You sound like Logan.” You huffed, crossing your arms and ignoring him.

“That was an impressive display in the woods.” The trickster congratulated you.

“Listen here Lokitty just because I didn’t push for your execution it doesn’t make us friends.” You snapped.

“Are you still angry about my turning you into a child? What if I were to make amends?” He purred in your ear.

You tried to resist, you really did. No good would come from an alliance with the God of Lies but...

“I’m listening.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Whatcha doing?” Sam asked.

“Baking cookies for the X-Men since I missed my lesson yesterday.”

“Can I have one?”

“No, X-men cookies, not Avengers cookies.” You snapped territoriality, sliding the tray out of reach.

“How about cookies for your friends who deserve them after you made a fool of them?” Steve asked, peering into the kitchen.

“Nope.” You said firmly.

“I smell cookies.” You heard Bucky say from the hallway.

You smirked, Loki was making sure the smell was reaching all over the compound and sure enough people started drifting towards the Kitchen.

“Please?” Clint pouted at you.

“No, these aren’t for you. Get your own.” You hissed.

The smell paired with your refusal to share was making the baked goods irresistible to everyone. Natasha narrowed her eyes at you and advanced.

“No!” You told her, backing away with the cookies held protectively against your chest.

“Come on Kotoynok, give us the cookies and nobody gets hurt.” She told you, her voice dangerously low.

You swallowed nervously.

“Kit Kat I need to talk to you. Oh cookies, can I have one?” Tony asked, sauntering into the kitchen.

“One.” You told him, handing it over.

Everybody protested and Tony grinned smugly at them as he bit into it.

“Sooooo good.” He moaned and everyone shot you pleading looks.

“I’m serious guys, you can’t have them. I need to do something nice for Xavier and his people, they’ve been really nice to me.” You warned as you put the tray of cookies in the fridge.

You shot one last warning look at them before you followed Tony out of the room. You followed him down the hall and were quite a bit away from the kitchen before Loki dropped the illusion.

“I warned Thor not to partake as you requested.” He said, rolling his eyes.

“You had better have. I told him he was the only one who wasn’t going to be punished for the whole ‘capture the cat’ debacle. If you didn’t tell him and he eats one... Well that’s on you not me.” You said with a smirk.

Loki gave you an appraising look before a nod of approval.

“I caused a minor explosion in your fathers lab, the smell of smoke will mask the smell of the cookies and he should be occupied for a while.”

“How long will it take to kick in?” You asked him.

“Not long at all, presuming they are eating them now.” He informed you.

“Oh they definitely are. They have a serious rivalry with the X-Men.” You chuckled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Avengers were wiping away the crumbs to destroy the evidence when the doors and windows all closed off their own accords and everyone was immediately on alert.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, looking around.

“We’re locked in.” Steve said with a frown as he tried to open the door.

There was a sinister cackling laughter.

“What the hell? Are we under attack?”

“Nope... You’re being punished for eating my cookies.” Your voice informed them through the speaker system.

“Very funny. Friday open the doors.” Steve demanded.

“I’m afraid I can’t Captain Rogers. Security protocols 12 have been initiated.” The AI informed him cooly.

“Override.” Steve snapped.

“You do not have the clearance to execute that demand.”

“I don’t have.... who does?” He groaned.

“Only Mr Stark or his daughter have that authority.”

“Once again proving, it’s not what you know... It’s who adopted you. That’s right Cap, I have higher clearance than you.” You laughed.

“Of course you do, Tony thinks you’re the best thing in the world, he’d give you whatever you wanted.” Steve grumbled.

“Sheesh Steve, are you really that annoyed?” You asked.

“Of course I am, I’m the Captain and you have good intentions but you’re too much of an idiot to be trusted with that much power.” He said.

“Ouch. Tell me how you really feel.” You sniggered.

“I worry you’re too impulsive and while I know it’s hypocritical of me it’s easier to worry about you than admit I don’t always know what I’m doing.” He said.

He turned bright red as everyone stared at him in shock and amusement.

“You were right, they ate the cookies.” Loki’s voice joined yours.

Everyone promptly looked around in horror.

“What’s going on?” Sam whispered fearfully.

“Well to sum it up for you Sammy, you all just ate a bunch of poisoned cookies and now you are compelled to be brutally honest. And you’re locked in there until I feel you’ve been humiliated enough.” You informed him.

“Doll if you don’t open this door right now I am going to have to try and punish you later though we both know I’ll fold as soon as you give me those doe eyes.” Bucky warned.

“I have no problem punishing her even if I do have a soft spot for her and my punishment won’t be as severe as I say it will.” Natasha added.

You sniggered to yourself. This was going to be fun.......

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

How do we think this diobolical move is going to play out? 

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat @buckitybarnes @fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz @dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17 @krystallynx @theonelittleone @piscesbarnes@free-as-fishes @tarastudiesalot @captainamericasbeard@dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews @likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus @life-wanderer @metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509

[marvel-lously]

The Dark Secrets I Know (pt.3)

Words: 1700

Content: angst

Warnings: language, description of wounds 

A/N: Hello you guys, after quite a long hiatus I am finally back. Sorry ‘cause it took me so long to write the third part, but I just didn’t feel like anybody is interested in my writing anymore. Anyways here it is, I hope you enjoy :)

Tags: @supersoldierfreak @supersoldierslover @dearcindymoon @parkeret @paramedicpanther @fwmholland @one-big-dreamer @niallandsebastianaremylife @sprinkleofpoop @mah1c @myersge @slut-for-fandoms @princessunicorn13 @clique-chick @multi-fan @mycollectionofthedead @no-aaaahhhh @spokenforunicornism @mad-girl--with-a-box @buffy-morgendorffer-01 @zophora @the-crime-fighting-spider @falseosterhollandfantasies @beautifullydisconnected @spidergirlwanab @supertrxsh @winterbuttmunch @deatheater61103 @hymnofthevalkyrie @loverboy-holland @shitty-imagines-95 @lcgphotohraphy @lilyholland 

(I took the liberty of tagging some of my mutuals as well, I hope none of you minds. If I forgot to tag anyone or if you’d like to be untagged just let me know)

Previous parts: pt.1, pt.2 

Next part: pt.4

You could feel the silent drops of rain, streaming down your face, small droplets already caught in your eyelashes. You were yet unable to recognize the setting. You started walking, not really knowing where you're headed. You started looking around, there was nothing but turf around you, for miles and miles, the greenery seemed to be the only thing man could see. You felt your heartbeat fasten and a lump forming in your throat. What is this place? How do you get out of there?

You started running. You ran and ran and ran and it wasn't helping you one bit. You were out of breath and tears were now mixing with raindrops on your cheeks, making your hair stick unpleasantly to your face.

You sat down, desperate, hopeless and defeated. You cried for what seemed to be hours now. Then you heard singing, it was muffled by the now rapidly falling rain, but it was a sound of singing nonetheless. You stood up weakly, not entirely trusting your senses anymore, but the more you walked, the louder the music got.

You stopped suddenly. You came in sight of what seemed to be a funeral, but something was off. The music you heard wasn't funeral music, it was worse it was so much worse. There was a little girl standing on the very grave itself and she was the only one singing, everybody else was just emptily staring to the ground.

»Tili Tili bom, ty slyishish, kto-to ryadom? Pritailsya za uglom I pronzaet vzglyadom.« (Tili tili bom, can you hear him closing in? Lurking around the corner, staring right at you.) The girl sang.

You just stared at her. Her appearance was mutilated. Half of her face was bruised, her lower lip brutally cut in half, scarlet blood staining her teeth, her once glowing, dark skin was now the colour of the ashes and her plaits, half undone, were slightly covering her eyes.

Then all of the sudden, she looked straight into your eyes.

You had never felt such panic and fear washing through your body, shaking the very core of your spine. You started trembling, not from the cold, but from how scared you felt under her gaze. You didn't understand why were you so scared, this girl did nothing but look at you and sang, yet the way she looked and the way she stood on the grave, unmoving, like a porcelain doll on the bookshelf, was so unnerving to you.

»Tili Tili bom, vse skroet noch nemaya, za toboy kradetsya on I vot-vot poymaet.« (Tili tili bom, the silent night hides everything, he sneaks up behind you and he is going to get you.) Her high pitched voice cut through your ears once again, her eyes not once leaving yours.

»On idet. On uzhe. Blisko.« (He walks. He is coming. Closer.)

At the last word, you felt a hand grab your shoulder. You screamed in fear. When you saw who was behind you, you nearly fainted. It was him.

»Like the scenery?« he asked, his voice laced with poison.

He bowed his head to your ear. »You should, it's your funeral.«

The girl screeched. That was the last thing you heard, then you woke up.

  AVENGERS' CONFERENCE ROOM

»No, Tony, no. I don't want to see her anywhere near me, that girl is mental.« Clint yelled.

»Wow, wow, wow, let's all just calm down.« Sam tried to reassuringly squeeze Clint's arm.

»Calm down? Calm down?!! Don't tell me to calm down, while Ton brings a fucking terrorist to our tower.« Clint's face was getting more red by the second.

»She. Is. Not. A terrorist!« Tony yelled back.

»Oh please Tony! I thought you were smarter than this. Just because she says she isn't one doesn't mean that's the truth. What, I mean are you going to believe her word over the council's?« Clint continued to argue.

»Goddamn it Clint! Yes, yes I will! And do you know why I will?« Tony was clearly frustrated with Clint.

»Oh, do enlighten me, please!«

»Because she tried to warn them Clint, she tried to warn the government and they didn't listen! And they never do! And of all people our team should be the one to know this best. They never listen, convinced that they hold all the strings in their hands and when somebody says otherwise, they shut them down. However when something bad does happen, they don't take the blame. They find an innocent man and put the blame on that man, meanwhile continuing to blind themselves from what is really happening around the world and to overhear every single warning. That's why I believe her Clint and you should know better. WE should know better.« Tony took a long sip from his glass of bourbon.

Silence overtook the room and nobody dared to break it.

»Well I believe her too! I mean damn it Clint, you should see it man, this girl is... something else, this girl is brilliant. She's able to tell your entire life story from having one look at you. I witnessed her do it and even though I was sceptical at first Tony ran a search on the guy she analyzed and guess what, she was right. She took one look at that man and was able to read him like a book, not missing one detail about him. I'm telling you Clint, if someone can help us, than this is her.« Sam was the one to break the silence after a while.

»Okay! Fine! She stays, but I am telling you, one incident and I will personally escort her back to the hellhole she crawled out of.« Clint said, then walked out of the room.

»By the way, has anyone seen our girl today?« Nat asked.

All she got was some shrugs and no's.

»FRIDAY where's Y/N?« she asked the AI.

»Miss Y/L appears to be in the kitchen Miss Romanoff.« the AI answered.

  »Is everything alright?« Nat's worried voice startled you.

»I am well, thank you for asking.« you said, shifting uncomfortably in your seat by the kitchen counter.

»Are you sure? You look a little worn out.« she probed.

»I just had some troubles sleeping last night, nothing more. No need for you to worry.« you answered quickly.

»Well good then, 'cause we need you in a conference room once you're finished with your meal.«

You gave her a curt nod and she left the room.

  Once you came to the conference room, everybody was already seated, the only space left was between Clint and Steve. You sighed inwardly, but sat down, smiling nonetheless. Clint murmured something incoherently, while Steve gave you a kind greeting.

»So what's the agenda today?« you asked timidly.

»Well, we wanted to go on through the list of some possible Hydra members and we thought you could tell us whether you think they are real members or Hydra just planted them as a false bait to distract us.« Tony said, with a somewhat stern voice.

»Yes of course, I can do that.« you were quick to respond.

Tony projected some photos and videos of the men. For some you could quickly tell they were part of Hydra, by the way they walked, held themselves, how they interacted with people on those videos... for some, you needed more time and more information to put them on the list.

Then at the last picture you felt you entire body tense and you could feel the muscles in your stomach twist and clench. You were sick. It was a picture of him. It was as if you were dreaming again, as if he was standing right next to you in this room. You forgot how to talk, you forgot how to breathe.

An arm tried to shake you out of your trance. It was Steve, his lips were moving. He was saying something to you, but you were unable to hear his words. No, all you could hear was the ringing in your head.

»Y/N! Y/N! For god's sake Y/N!!« Steve's voice finally made it through the fog in your head. you tried to focus on him, but it was hard. It was so hard.

»Breathe! Y/N breathe!« he was saying repeatedly.

You took a deep, painful breath in.

»And out! Don't forget to breathe out!«

You exhaled shakily.

»There you go. Just breathe. Take your time.« Steve was rubbing circles on your back reassuringly.

»Y/N? Who is that? The man on the picture?« Tony asked, carefully.

»That«, you said with trembling voice »is the man you don't ever wish to meat. 'Cause the moment you meet him, is the moment you shook hands with death himself.« You stood up and sped out of the room.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        You were at the gym, throwing some hard punches at the heavy bag.

You heard someone cough behind you. It was Bucky.

»Give me one more minute, then I'll be out of your way.« you said, visibly out of breath.

»Well I actually came, because I wanted to talk to you, but it's okay if you don't want to« he replied.

»What did you want to talk about?« you asked, while stripping yourself of the hand bandages.

»I just wanted you to know that we got your back. You don't need to be afraid of this guy, whoever the hell he is, because we got your back. You're part of the team now, which means we will protect you and it also means no one will hurt you as long as we are around.« he tried so hard to reassure you.

You just looked at him incredulously.

»Why thank you for trying to reassure me, but you have absolutely no idea, who it is that you are dealing with. It doesn't matter how many people are trying to protect me, as soon as he finds out where I am, you can write me off as deceased. Bucky! I am scared as hell, of this guy. And if you're smart... you should be scared of him too!«

[justenzhe]

Omelets & Mom-advice/some NaruKiba fluff for birthday-boy Endo

@endoplasmicpanda​

.

.nk

.

“So you’re saying - roll your eyes all you want, kiddo, but obviously someone is missing something here and I’m not gonna let it be me - Kiba is leaving you - fine, moving out - because you’re too gay for him.”

Mothers were supposed to be sympathetic. This is why I get Dad’s help with this sorta thing, Naruto lamented, dehydrated brain aching with the effort. But dad was testifying before Congress about AI drones, and Mom was not sympathetic. She had already chalked everything up to his own stupidity, he could tell, and he couldn’t even bring himself to disagree with her.

“What other reason could there be?”

Wow. That came out 100% whiny. He sounded almost as pathetic as he felt.

“A reason that makes sense,” Kushina said flatly. “One that isn’t entirely against everything Kiba stands for. It’s not like he wasn’t blatantly exposed to your sexuality before he moved in with you. He put up with more than enough PDA from you and Sasuke - ”

“We’re not talking about Sasuke, Mom - ” Naruto said loudly, then grabbed his ears and whimpered.

“I like talking about Sasuke,” Kushina grumped. “I’m gonna have to take up watching soaps if you’re well and truly over him. The melodrama! The mood swings! The plotting sessions with Mikoto! The time I doused him with the garden hose - Tachi-kun’s constipated face -”

Naruto smothered himself with his pillow. “You love laughing at Sasuke more than you love me.”

“Mm. Close call, but not quite. Now, reasons. What reasons did Kiba give? And I’m talking what he actually said, not what you decided it meant. I can’t imagine Kiba being all ‘ew gross, too gay’—”

“He didn’t,” Naruto said, miserable. "He just–just stood there, with the kitchen table between us, and smiled a smile that made him look sick, and said he’d decided to move out. No reason.“

"And?”

“And I said ‘what the hell, you’re not serious’ but no, he was serious, and I, uh, maybe freaked out just a tiny bit okay? Because we worked so hard to make this place a comfortable shithole even if it’s still a shithole -”

“It is a shithole, but isn’t that why the landlord didn’t care about the dog? What’s he going to do with the puppydog?”

“- Exactly! So I said these things to him, and asked him about Akamaru, and he looked terrible but just said this fake-okay ‘I’ll get something worked out’ and I was like ‘I don’t want to abandon this place - where did I mess up, I’ll take out the trash right away and close the door all the way when I poop - ’��

“What?! I broke you of that habit in third grade!”

“And you know what he said? ‘I don’t want to be an asshole and leave you without someone to split the rent, so I’ve started looking for roommates - How would I feel about living with Hinata?’”

“Oh. Ohhh-no. You can’t do that to Hinata, Naruto. You walk around with your shirt off. You sleep naked. She may know you’re gay, but a girl’s got limits. If she jumps my baby boy—”

“Mom! But yeah, actually I said something like that to him, and he gets all pale and so I start blabbering that of COURSE I’d never come on to Hinata, I mean I know that she’s like a sister to him, but she’s like eight thousand percent safe from me because I’m at least eight thousand percent gay and—”

“AND?”

“And he says something like—I think he said ‘That’s the problem’? and, like, twelve ’sorries’ and then he…he left. Just. Gone.”

“That’s - that’s it? He didn’t say anything else? You’re sure he didn’t say anything else?”

Naruto pushed his phone towards her, open to texts from Kiba explaining that he’d come to get all of his shit so someone else could move in.

Tomorrow. Which was today.

Kushina read through them, then started scrolling through older texts messages, brows arcing in mischievous curiosity.

Naruto snatched his phone back. And promptly collapsed into his pillow, mumbling curses.

“Aw, poor hungover frat baby,” Kushina crooned, still not even pretending to be sympathetic. “No, I’m not letting you go back to sleep. Up you go. Into the shower. I brought everything for omelets. Heaven knows I wouldn’t find anything of edible worth in your fridge…”

It was hard to be annoyed about one’s (entirely unsympathetic) mother when she drove two hours to fix one’s woes with omelets.

Naruto headed to the shower.

.

.nk.

.

“Okay, I’m beginning to see why you spent most of the night drunk-texting your dad. I’ve thought of everything you would have done that would make Kiba not want to live with you but ALSO not tell you why he won’t live with you. It looks like this.” Kushina smacked a clean plate down in front of her son. "Empty. Zero. Nada. Here’s your omelet.” Piping hot barely-browned eggs folded neatly around melting pepper-jack cheese and Italian sausage and three kinds of peppers (but no slimy mushrooms because Naruto refused to appreciate edible fungi as anything other than ew gross ) flipped from pan to plate, and Naruto couldn’t help but feel a little hope bubbling up.

“I guess I’ll try talking to him again. It’s just… Last night, he, he looked so - not disgusted? Uncomfortable. Really really uncomfortable. Stayed on the other side of the room the entire time, like he was afraid I might reach out and grab him with my eight-thousand-percent-gay hands–”

“I’m really not buying the gay stuff, Naruto. What makes you think that’s what this is about? I may not know him as well as some of your other friends, but he asked you to move in with him when Sasuke spending the night was still something that happened sometimes - goodness, when are you going to accept that I know these things? You tell your dad everything and he tells me everything. Stop choking and drink your orange juice - but you won’t convince me that boy’s not marshmallow pie personified. He laughed all three times I pranked him.”

She chopped a quarter-onion while saying all of this, and set it sizzling in the pan, then set about decimating another pepper. A peek sneaked over one shoulder showed her boy’s dejection setting in again. And not even halfway through the first omelet. Mercy. Where’s Minato when you need him?

“I did something,” Naruto mumbled, shoulders hunching in. “Like… Not one thing. We started out so great, getting this place all fixed up, and we screwed up almost all the DIY shit we googled the first couple times around but Kiba never got mad and -”

Oooh. Something big is coming. “Aaaand?”

“He’s - he’s hot, okay?! He’d be, like, soaked from a pipe we didn’t get in quite right, or, or laughing at cat fail videos with Akamaru and I just -”

“Yeeeeees?”

“I stared. I stared, okay?!”

Kushina tried so hard not to laugh. Poor Naruto’s cheeks were so red. He was more of a man than a boy now, she had to admit, twenty-one years old and coming up on his last year of undergrad. In so many ways, though, he exactly mirrored the bashful five-year-old kept in memory right in the middle of her heart, bright-eyed and blushing, bursting with the confounding thrill of a first crush. “You like him. Like-like him.”

Naruto made an impressive try at hiding his entire head with his arms. She barely made out the reply that came, but felt their ache echoing in her own belly, just a bit. “How I could not? He’s - he’s - Kiba - he - he’s so -”

“Strong? Loyal? Manly? Adorable as his pure and perfect puppy?”

“Ugh. Yes.”

“…Are you sure he’s not gay?”

“Yes - I mean, we haven’t really talked ‘bout that but - I mean, he said something like ‘attractive people are just plain attractive’ one time but - anyway it doesn’t matter, he obviously doesn’t want to be gay with me—”

“Why not?”

“Because he WOULD BE ALREADY, wouldn’t he? Or at least he wouldn’t have move out of the house when I couldn’t stop my stupid eyes from looking at him way too much—”

“Kiss him,” said Kushina.

“What?! NO! MOM! As if I haven’t wrecked the friendship enough!!”

“Well, that’s my advice. I’m not going to repeat it. Finish your omelet, buster.”

A second omelet, this one with onions and mushrooms, appeared on the table. Naruto wouldn’t eat it. She would, rather than let it be wasted, but if her hunch was right—

Inuzuka Kiba crashed through the door. He looked sweaty and anguished and had obviously spent most of the night running, both figuratively and literally, but he also looked very, very determined.

Ten points for timing! Kushina cheered to herself, carefully turning off the stove.

.

.nk.

.

“I’m sorry,” Kiba was saying, and Naruto still had a forkful of omelet halfway to his mouth, staring again. Kiba smelled like sweat and dirt and sharp morning air and he looked so serious and Akamaru was nuzzling his elbow, bless that puppy, now Naruto could breathe again—

“I keep screwing everything up,” said Kiba, “and I’m sorry. But I’m no coward. I’m gonna tell you what I need to tell you and then I’ll get all of my shit out of your way.”

He was still moving out. Naruto’s hopes hit rock bottom.

“Every time I get too close, I want to kiss you.”

He couldn’t keep living here. Not in this 120-year-old shithole tiny-ass house they found that was affordable and close to campus and allowed pets and thanks to them had a working shower and a roof that didn’t leak anymore—what?

“It’s not new, okay? I’ve felt this way since—since freshman year, at least—and I know how you are about Sasuke, I know I’ll never compete. But I screwed up, okay? I thought if I moved in with you—if I found out about all the stupid annoying gross stuff you do when you’re at home, I’d get over this glowing image I had of you. But it didn’t work, okay? It didn’t work. I’ve seen you pick your nose and be idiotic about avoiding vegetables and barely survived you stinking this place to hell when you had that disgusting stomach bug and I know for a fact that you’ve only washed your sheets twice this semester and I love you more. And I can’t. I can’t, Naruto. I just—I’ll always be your friend, I’m here if you really need someone, you know that, but—”

“She was right,” Naruto said, wonder exploding a tiny firework jubilee somewhere in his chest. “Wow. I can’t believe—”

“What, who? Did Tenten tell you? She swore—”

“Kiss me.” He’d made it to his feet. The happiness was going to shake him to bits. He had to find some kind of words quick or he’d be too shattered to make words at all. “Kiba. You’re—I’m—here—”

Kissing Kiba was like bursting into summer. Like the shocking relief of plunging into cool water, like running as fast as you can for the joy of it, like feeling the sun leak into your pores, seeping warm and healing to the very center of your shoulder bones.

“Don’t move out,” Naruto begged lowly, holding on just in case Kiba felt like running again.

“I…don’t think I have to? If I can really just—kiss you and—”

“Let’s try, yeah? At least until summer—”

“Okay,” said Kiba, shellshocked. Beginning, big and free and amazed, to grin.

“You can marry him, too,” Kushina said, and laughed wickedly when Kiba started, whipped around to notice her presence in the room for the very first time, and promptly panicked. “Sit down. I made you an omelet. And I’ll make one for you, too, Akamaru, you sweet doggo you!”

.

.nk.

.

The End!

.

Happy happy birthday, Endo, you wonderful person you!!

[martechadvisor-blog]

Interview with David Raab, Principal of Raab Associates Inc. & CEO of the CDP Institute

This Q&A is part of an interview series for the upcoming MarTech Conference, May 9-11 in San Francisco, covering the agenda topics to be discussed at the event. Read on for an exclusive sneak-peek from the presenters

1. How have you seen marketers evolve in their understanding of martech in these last five years? What are the gaps (maybe in exploiting technology, attitudes, approaches, strategies etc) that events like these address for newbies as well as veteran marketers?

Maybe it’s just Stockholm Syndrome, but many marketers have gone from being uninterested or hostile to technology to actually embracing it.Part is no doubt generational – these kids today don’t remember a world without smartphones, etc.—but it’s more that online marketing has become such a large part of the mix, and is so very tech-based.I’d say the biggest gap is a proper skepticism about what tech can and can’t do: many people are still blinded by what’s bright and shiny.But that is rapidly fading as marketers at all levels get more experience using tools and realize nothing will magically solve their problems.Except CDPs, of course.

2. At what stage would you say is the ‘ad tech meets martech’ state of affairs at present? Would you say businesses today need to have a consolidated advertising strategy that includes all formats be it Search, Social, Display, Native and of course, Video being a key entrant or does the character of the business decide the approach?

I’m pretty sure Joe’s Pizza down the street doesn’t need Native or Video.Even larger businesses would probably do better to focus their efforts a bit.Yes, what they do should be coordinated – who can argue otherwise?But they may not need to be present in every channel.

3. 2016 was the year of data-driven marketing. This year, AI was added to the data mix. Where do you see the changes in technology taking data next – be it for data capture, analytics and insights? Considering the above data cycle, where do organizations lack in proficiency the most?

Excuse me, data-driven marketing was important well before 2016. Even before smartphones if you can remember that far back. Nor do I see 2016 as a turning point. But, looking ahead, I do see AI as creating fundamental changes because it will automate processes that were never practical when humans had to do them. For example, automated content tagging will provide vast new amounts of information about what people are up to. AI will change data ingestion (no more waiting for IT to add new inputs), campaign design (AI will figure out the best message content, timing, etc. for each person), and analytics (AI will find patterns and draw conclusions that humans would never have noticed). That said, see answer #1 for not believing that technology can really do everything it promises, at least from the start. I could follow that by saying that the greatest need is for proficiency in understanding what new technologies can really do, so you deploy them effectively. But actually, I think most AI technology will be embedded in existing systems – which is exactly what every big martech vendor is doing already. So marketers have less need to be technical experts than to develop larger strategies for customer experience, and then be dogged in pursuing them. The technology will fade into the background.

4. What are areas you commonly see where businesses are getting stuck from transforming themselves to optimal customer-centricity – excess of to-dos to achieve this, lack of aligning all stakeholders on a common platform, lack of initiative to know a customer as a person rather than a statistic? How much can data help this transformation?

Most of the real obstacles are organizational: companies are still organized around functions like sales vs marketing vs service vs operations vs finance. And there are divisions within those departments, such as Web site vs email vs media buying vs field marketing. Those groups need to give up autonomy if customers are really going to get an optimal experience. This isn’t a technical problem, although technologies can reduce the work involved to make the sharing possible. This in turn removes one barrier and makes unjustified opposition harder to hide.  Unified customer data is a key element in this, since systems like CDPs can assemble that data and expose it without departments needing to change their existing systems. This means companies can move towards coordinated experiences incrementally.

5. How can marketers get a buy-in from their organizations to invest in digital transformation of their businesses? What are the timeframes that a small business should expect for complete digital transformation and how important is it to record each of the marketing and sales process’ digitization?

What is this “digital transformation” of which you speak?  It’s the buzziest of buzz words. If you’re really going to rebuild a company from the foundation up, it’s a massive project that can only be driven from the very top of the organization. It requires radical change in every department. And not just radical change, but coordinated radical change. Very few top managers will really make that commitment and endure all the pain it implies. Marketing certainly can’t drive it. Now, if you’re asking whether marketers can do more digital marketing and use better technology, why sure. But even for that, success will be driven more by the CMO’s faith and commitment than carefully recording the progress of each project.

6. How can digital transformation become a strategic thought process for a business rather than just being a mere means to an end to enhance customer experience? Please suggest some processes that organizations can put in place so that internal stakeholders move in sync with this makeover?

I’m going to let my cat answer this one. Meow, meow, MEOW.  Ruff, ruff, RUFF. Oh sorry, the dog chimed in. He thinks it’s rough. The one thing they both agree on is sleeping 18 hours a day. They also suggest giving treats to internal stakeholders when they cooperate.

7. Could you share for our readers a sneak peek on the topic of your presentation?

I’ll be talking about the digital transformation.  Just kidding.  I’ll be talking about Customer Data Platforms, which are marketer-run systems that build a persistent, unified customer database and make it available to other systems. As I mentioned before, that are an important enabling technology for better understanding customer behaviors, for personalizing customer treatments, and ultimately for coordinating experiences across all interactions. And I’ll rush to add that they actually are proven to work – no visions of future potential here.

MarTech | May 9-11, 2017 | San Francisco, CA

Join the largest vendor-agnostic gathering of marketing technologists, data scientists and digital innovators at the intersection of marketing, technology and management: MarTech — The Marketing Technology Conference. Register for MarTech San Francisco and adopt proven strategies that provide the ultimate customer experience.

An incredible agenda packed with case studies, strategic insights, networking opportunities, and vendor demos and solutions await you! Lock in the lowest rates using promo code 100mtmta (case sensitive) and get $100 off All Access Passes. Register today!

This article was first appeared on MarTech Advisor