#there’s even a ‘secret’ ending where the lesbians survive the bunker
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Still thinking about that one review of Howling Dogs like what the fuck
#howling dogs is an extremely good arguably psychological horror twine game about lesbians#arguably psychological horror because the pov character is trapped in a bunker where she’s forced to interact with what are mostly nightmare#but it isn’t like….. spooky#anyway despite one of the nightmares being ‘you are Joan of arc burning at the stake’#and another being ‘you are a possessed abused wife whose new friend is in the process of murdering your husband’#somebody reviewed as like 2/10 couldn’t figure out the connecting theme I had to play it twice to figure out there were any women involved’#and then doubled down defensive claiming it wasn’t obvious#and it remains the most mind boggling example of white guy player bias (for lack of a better term) I’ve ever seen#in any case you should play it it’s very good#there’s even a ‘secret’ ending where the lesbians survive the bunker#but it’s not a comfy game and it knows it
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Not All Monsters Part 11
Masterlist
Sam X Reader
Summary: Adjusting to life with the Winchester while dealing with her own brand of PTSD Aris finds a unique way to keep her mind clear.
Warnings: Violence, talk of abuse,
Please leave a comment anything to let me know what you guys think.
Just as quickly as the Impala had pulled into the garage Aris was out the door, tossing her bag to Sam who hadn’t even managed to stand all the way. The bag hit his stomach causing him to let out an ‘umph’ sound. Dean got out of the car watching with some amusement as his brother chased Aris over to the bike that had once been Dorothy’s. Holding his keys he let them talk knowing that Sam would be in soon.
“We just got back!” Sam Waved one hand around gesturing to the bunker. “If you want alone time come in and rest, I won’t bug bother you. You haven’t slept in two days.”
Pushing down on the clutch the bike roared to life. It had become her choice of mobility when the chance arose something about the open air, accompanied by the way the way the bike moved with her body took all the troubles away. It felt great being back, on the beautiful machine.
Looking up into those galaxies called eyes, Aris smirked. “I’ll be back late. Don’t wait up.” Placing a peck on his cheek. Before he could protest further she took off.
Running his hand through his hair Sam couldn’t help but enjoy the view of Aris smiling a lightness to her that hadn’t been there since the first week she’d moved in. There was no more talk of the scar or her past with Darn. While she wouldn’t say where she had been disappearing to the past few weeks, it was good for her. That was the fact he couldn’t argue, so he didn’t. Aris could take care of herself. Besides she was back to the happy, bubbly, smart-ass that she was meant to be.
Waiting until she was completely gone from view before following his brother into the bunker. Dean was already sitting at the table pie in front of him two open beers, offering one to Sam. Cas was reading a book written in an enchant language, scribbling translations into a notebook.
“Off again,” Dean commented between bites.
“Yeah,” Sam called back. Dropping the bags in front of the washing machine a faint buzzing sound came from Aris duffle bag. Searching around he pulled out the phone she had forgot. George scrolled across the screen. Not wanting to be intrusive he ignored the call but brought the phone with him to the war room placing it on the table.
“She tells you where she’s going this time?” Dean asked handing his brother a beer,
Sam shook his head. “No. But hey it makes her happy so I’m not going to push the subject.”
“You aren’t at all curious to see what she has been up too. If I were you my mind would be running wild with possibilities.” Swinging his fork around he pointed it at Sam. “She could be out drinking, causing trouble. Who knows maybe she’s got a lesbian lover.”
“You are so immature you know that.” Sam laughed despite the comments.
“Oh, yeah I forget your hairs long enough for you to be the women too.” That one crossed the line a bit but Dean got the response he was looking for. Sam reached over taking a scrap of paper from Cas crumpling it up he chucked it at his brother.
Being mildly annoyed with the two interrupting his work, Cas looked up narrowing his eyes, directing his gaze at both. “I understand this is part of your normal bother bonding. However, it would be appreciated if you left me out of it.”
Both chuckling Sam watched again as the phone he had placed down on the table began to buzz again. Once more George came across the screen, it hadn’t occurred to him that Aris was keeping in touch with her old friends. If he called again Sam promised he would call the extra cell Aris should have kept on her.
“How about you Cas. She tell you where she disappeared to?” Dean just couldn’t drop the subject. Not just out of common curiosity but also because he had grown to see Aris as a little sister. Knowing that she was vulnerable on her own made it difficult to let her go off like she did.
Sam shook his head disapproving. “Would you drop it.”
“It’s not my fault that I worry. Hell out of the two of us you should be worried.” He countered. “So Cas she tell you her big secret.”
Cas put down his pen, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to get any more work done. “If she did tell me or I found out by other means I wouldn’t tell you. It would be a betrayal of her confidence.”
“See, It’s not a big deal.” Sam said taking a sip of his beer. “Wait what do you mean found out through other means?”
Dean laughed, a mouth full of pie, as Sam’s uncaring did a 180. Turning into a combination of concern and intrigue.
Entering the house it was dark all except a light that crept through a door at the end of a hall. Women could be heard chanting together in unison, it was a prayer. As Aris came through the door rushing in she hadn’t noticed that her clothes were still stained from the hunt. Blood splattered her shirt, from when she had taken a machete to the vampire. The prayer stopping as she walked in, eyes of five women of various ages and backgrounds fell on her.
It had been three weeks since she had joined the group. Thankfully up until that point none of the hunts had interfered making each meeting on time. She hadn’t told Sam or Dean about the meetings not wanting them to view her differently, simply say that she had to have time to herself. It seemed to be enough for them. However, Aris got the feeling that Cas knew based on his sudden need to defend her or give her a little extra support here and there. Either way it wasn’t something that they spoke, there was an understanding in his eyes that told her she didn’t have to worry about him spilling the beans to Sam.
“Is there something you’d like to share with the group Millie?” An older plump woman with short Grey hair, rosy cheeks, and shining blue eyes asked cautiously. Addressing Aris by the fake name she had given them.
“Sorry, I’m late… work.” Aris watched the eyes fell on her shirt. She looked down. “Oh! Ummm it's kool-aid.”
“This is a safe space you know you can talk if you want to.” A younger woman in her early 20s squeaked. She looked as her voice sounded, small, frail frame, her eyes taking up half her face.
“Really its ok.” Aris insisted, wrapping her leather jacket around her to cover the shirt.
Shrugging off the concern, the conversation turning to one of the women who went by the name Denise. In the past week, things had been getting worse for her at home, her husband coming home and instantly going into a tirade nearly every night, throwing breaking things, screaming at her, kicking the dog. But the fear of leaving overshadowed the need to escape. His unpredictability made it nearly impossible to know how much worse things may become.
It wasn't the type of group to pressure someone into doing something that they weren’t comfortable with but give support reminding each other that they weren’t crazy or that their instincts were usually right. In aris case it was a way to remind her that what she had gone through was real to validate they way she felt and reminder that when she had moments that caused a flashback or unintended reaction, such as pulling away from Sam when he touched her scar, it was just another way she had learned to survive. And that was ok.
“If you want I can help you move while he’s at work.” Aris offered to Denice, who reminded her almost too much of her old self.
She shook her head letting out an exhausted exhale, “No, I don’t think so. His brother is across the street. He would call. I can’t.”
It was a strange realization of how far she had come. To know that she was capable of leaving when others couldn’t. How now the idea of a brother watching over her, wasn’t an ominous force, but a caring person who had only her best interest at heart. She was lucky, it was no longer a real person that set out o hurt her only the one that lived in her memories.
Before more could be said a timer went off indicating that meeting was over. As always it seemed to end too soon, no one wanted to go back to the reality of living in fear, standing on eggshells. Saying a quick goodbye Aris walked out to find the motorcycle that she had borrowed from the garage. Before she mounts the bike, A soft warm hand rested on on her shoulder.
It was Zoe the elderly women that had been running the group. Her face held a depth of understanding as she took a drag of her freshly lit cigarette, “If you need somewhere to stay. You are always welcome here.”
“I’m fine really. Better than I have been in ages, to be honest.” Aris held on to the handle of the bike ready to get back home. The words were truer than she had ever considered.
Zoe looked up at her through a pair of glasses raising the eyebrows not completely believing her words. “I’m sure.” She tugged at Aris shirt plucking it then releasing it where the blood spatter was. “This ain’t my first rodeo kid.”
“Really, I’m fine. You should be talking to Denice, not me.” Aris looked around dismissively. “That girl was where I was a year ago. She needs to get out.”
Zoe nodded. “Can’t say I don’t agree. Alright, well have good night Millie.”
“You too Zoe.” Aris jumped on the bike, relaxing into the seat as she took off into the night.
Halfway back to the bunker, the bike begins to slow the light on it goes out leaving the darkness as her only company. Pulling off to the side Aris puts down the kickstand sitting back on her bike, she let the cool wind play with her hair lifting it, pulling it in different directions. The dim moonlight illuminated the barron street. It wouldn’t be long now til someone came along. She waited patiently for the comforting sound or the roar of an engine.
Climbing down she stood at the edge of the road looking as pathetic as she could muster. The first two cars that past didn’t even slow down, the third stopped but Aris waved the family on saying that there was someone on the way. Offering to wait whith her, Aris shook her head. Just up the road, she saw the big rig that she had been waiting for.
“Here they come now.” She let the anticipation creep into every cell of her body. Let the excitement fill her every pour. As the family drove off it wouldn’t be a matter of if the truck would stop but when.
She had been after him for a week now, each time missing just by a few minutes. Would he come back this time? Or would he stop the first time he passed her by. It didn’t take long to get the answer, the screeching of brakes was followed by the click of a door opening up. Up in the cabin was a greasy man with an unkempt beard and potbelly. He was larger than Aris had originally thought him to be but jumped in nonetheless.
“Lost Darlin?” His voice was grease as he was. His eyes moving up and down her body, pausing a moment at her low cut top. The light was too low to reveal the blood on her shirt. “I can give you a ride.” There was a double meaning to his words.
“Thanks, my bike died. Been stranded for hours, so glad you stopped.” The charm in her voice purposely egging him on she shut the door but didn’t put on the seatbelt.
Every few minutes his eyes flickered back to her staring down her chest then falling to thighs. Aris shifted in the seat trying to force away from the adrenaline but felt it building inside her. She waited to know soon enough she would get what she was looking for. The truck turned off a dead end road with no street lights.
Playing dumb Aris looked around. “Why are we stopping?”
“I heard something bump.” He opened the door. “Give me a hand would you?”
“Alright.” Climbing down the hair on the back of her neck began to stand, a knot in her stomach. She pushed it aside knowing fully that it was all too accurate. “What can I help you with?”
As she walked around the front she was literally hit with the reality of the situation. A fat fist to the gut knocked the wind out of her, reaching for the front of the truck to balance herself. The hot hood nearly burning her hand. Sucking in a sharp breath Aris regained herself just in time to dodge another blow. Ducking them sweeping her leg the mountain of a man crashed to the ground letting out a groan in pain. Pulling the dagger from her boot she moved on him ready to carve into his chest.
But the large man was faster than he would appear, scrambling to his feet he stood a hint of amusement and delight danced in his eyes. “It’s been awhile since I got to play. So let's play little lady.”
Moving more carefully this time Aris readied herself for a good fight. He had nearly seven inches on her, at least 120 lbs. But it wasn’t as if she hadn’t taken on bigger pray before. He swung at her then again, missing each time. The knife grazed his side cutting threw his shirt blood fell from his side. He screamed taking a moment to look at his wounds, the amusement had gone, leaving rage in its wake.
“Ya fuckin’ bitch! I was gonna leave you lookin pretty but hell I don’t mind turning you over instead.” This time when he charged he faked a swing kicking at her leg instead.
Stepping back she missed judged the loose gravel tripping backward, falling on her back. Hitting the ground she held tight to the knife but a boot came down on her hand, the pressure of it making her loosen her grip the knife went flying out of reach. The boot then moved to her throat, crushing her airway instinctively she clawed at the man’s leg. He only laughed reaching down pulling her up by her hair.
“Ain’t you somethin’ else.” The grotesque smell of cheap cigars and rotten teeth permeated the air around them.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Aris spat in his face. He closed his eyes for a moment just long enough for her to get the upper hand. Using the hand he held her by as leverage she pulled her leg back swinging as hard as she could, her foot making contact with his groan he fell to the ground gasping for air. “Steel toes feel good doesn’t it.”
She walked over picking up the knife that had been knocked down before. “See from what I understand you’ve done some bad shit. Hunting down girls, selling them to the highest bidder. Keeping a few for yourself, it were up to me we would do this nice and slow. I would make sure you felt every hit, every scratch, every violation you put those girls threw.”
“Fuckin’ whore.” it was the only word he could muster through the pain.
“I don’t have time for that, however. People waiting for me back home and all that. But don’t you have someone waiting for you too.” Aris raised the blade plunging it thru the man's heart.
The light faded from his eyes, leaving nothing but a hollow shell. She looked at the work she had made of him, enjoying every passing moment only returning to her sense as thunder cracked across the sky. A dampness in the air that clung to her skin ,a weight lifted off her chest. Digging through his pockets she found a wallet and a set of keys taking the cash she tossed the wallet on the body. Walking around the back the doors swung open hitting the side. Three timmid women cowered in the back. Aris didn’t bother to talk to them just left the doors swinging as she made the hike back to the bike.
It was the fight, the adrenaline that coursed through her veins, an addiction that she needed to feed. Better than any drug out there. While hunting with Sam and Dean helped fill the whole a little it wasn’t the same feeling as being completely alone with only herself to rely on. It was another secret that she kept from them one that Sam would never approve of. He worried about her too much as is. One day maybe she wouldn’t need the fear to feel normal, or the excitement it brought. But for now, it was what kept her sane.
#sam winchester#poor sammy#dean winchester#dean and sam#Sam and Dean#truama#Spn fanfiction#fanfiction#Sam winchester fanfic#Sam Fanfiction#Sam winchester x reader#Sam x reader#Sam winchester X oc#Aris#Not all monsters#Spn hunting#Spn fandom#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchetser fanfiction#CAs#castiel
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas ❤
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163039991272
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
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source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back.html
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Not All Monster Part 11
Sam x Reader
Summary: While things began to look up for Aris and the Winchesters there were still many un answered quetions and even more pain still laying beneith the surface
Warning: Violance, laungage.
Authers note. So I am starting school again, and I have a lot more hoemwork than expacting so sorry for not getting these out in a timely manner. Please comment and let me know what you think.
Not All Monsters Materlist.
Just as quickly as the Impala had pulled into the garage Aris was out the door, tossing her bag to Sam who hadn’t even managed to stand all the way. The bag hit his stomach causing him to let out an ‘umph’ sound. Dean got out of the car watching with some amusement as his brother chased Aris over to the bike that had once been Dorothys. Holding his keys he let them talk knowing that Sam would be in soon.
“We just got back!” Sam Waved one hand around gesturing to the bunker. “If you want alone time come in and rest, I won’t bug bother you. You haven’t slept in two days.”
Pushing down on the clutch the bike roared to life. It had become her choice of mobility when the chance arose something about the open air, accompanied by the way the way the bike moved with her body took all the troubles away. It felt great being back, on the beautiful machine.
Looking up into those galaxies called eyes, Aris smirked. “I’ll be back late. Don’t wait up.” Placing a peck on his cheek. Before he could protest further she took off.
Running his hand through his hair Sam couldn’t help but enjoy the view of Aris smiling a lightness to her that hadn’t been there since the first week she’d moved in. There was no more talk of the scar or her past with Darn. While she wouldn’t say where she had been disappearing to the past few weeks, it was good for her. That was the fact he couldn’t argue, so he didn’t. Aris could take care of herself. Besides she was back to the happy, bubbly, smart-ass that she was meant to be.
Waiting until she was completely gone from view before following his brother into the bunker. Dean was already sitting at the table pie in front of him two open beers, offering one to Sam. Cas was reading a book written in an ancient language, scribbling translations into a notebook.
“Off again,” Dean commented between bites.
“Yeah,” Sam called back. Dropping the bags in front of the washing machine a faint buzzing sound came from Aris duffle bag. Searching around he pulled out the phone she had forgot. George scrolled across the screen. Not wanting to be intrusive he ignored the call but brought the phone with him to the war room placing it on the table.
“She tell you where she’s going this time?” Dean asked handing his brother a beer,
Sam shook his head. “No. But hey it makes her happy so I’m not going to push the subject.”
“You aren’t at all curious to see what she has been up too. If I were you my mind would be running wild with possibilities.” Swinging his fork around he pointed it at Sam. “She could be out drinking, causing trouble. Who knows maybe she’s got a lesbian lover.”
“You are so immature you know that.” Sam laughed despite the comments.
“Oh, yeah I forget your hairs long enough for you to be the women too.” That one crossed the line a bit but Dean got the response he was looking for. Sam reached over taking a scrap of paper from Cas crumpling it up he chucked it at his brother.
Being mildly annoyed with the two interrupting his work, Cas looked up narrowing his eyes, directing his gaze at both. “I understand this is part of your normal bother bonding. However, it would be appreciated if you left me out of it.”
Both chuckling Sam watched again as the phone he had placed down on the table began to buzz again. Once more George came across the screen, it hadn’t occurred to him that Aris was keeping in touch with her old friends. If he called again Sam promised he would call the extra cell Aris should have kept on her.
“How about you Cas. She tells you where she disappeared to?” Dean just couldn’t drop the subject. Not just out of common curiosity but also because he had grown to see Aris as a little sister. Knowing that she was vulnerable on her own made it difficult to let her go off like she did.
Sam shook his head disapproving. “Would you drop it.”
“It’s not my fault that I worry. Hell out of the two of us you should be worried.” He countered. “So Cas she tells you her big secret.”
Cas put down his pen, knowing full well that he wasn’t going to get any more work done. “If she did tell me or I found out by other means I wouldn’t tell you. It would be a betrayal of her confidence.”
“See, It’s not a big deal,” Sam said taking a sip of his beer. “Wait what do you mean found out through other means?”
Dean laughed, a mouth full of pie, as Sam’s uncaring did a 180. Turning into a combination of concern and intrigue.
Entering the house it was dark all except a light that crept through a door at the end of a hall. Women could be heard chanting together in unison, it was a prayer. As Aris came through the door rushing in she hadn’t noticed that her clothes were still stained from the hunt. Blood splattered her shirt, from when she had taken a machete to the vampire. The prayer stopping as she walked in, eyes of five women of various ages and backgrounds fell on her.
It had been three weeks since she had joined the group. Thankfully up until that point none of the hunts had interfered making each meeting on time. She hadn’t told Sam or Dean about the meetings not wanting them to view her differently, simply say that she had to have time to herself. It seemed to be enough for them. However, Aris got the feeling that Cas knew based on his sudden need to defend her or give her a little extra support here and there. Either way, it wasn’t something that they spoke, there was an understanding in his eyes that told her she didn’t have to worry about him spilling the beans to Sam.
“Is there something you’d like to share with the group Millie?” An older plump woman with short Grey hair, rosy cheeks, and shining blue eyes asked cautiously. Addressing Aris by the fake name she had given them.
“Sorry, I’m late… work.” Aris watched the eyes fell on her shirt. She looked down. “Oh! Ummm it's kool-aid.”
“This is a safe space you know you can talk if you want to.” A younger woman in her early 20s squeaked. She looked as her voice sounded, small, frail frame, her eyes taking up half her face.
“Really it's ok.” Aris insisted, wrapping her leather jacket around her to cover the shirt.
Shrugging off the concern, the conversation turning to one of the women who went by the name Denise. In the past week, things had been getting worse for her at home, her husband coming home and instantly going into a tirade nearly every night, throwing breaking things, screaming at her, kicking the dog. But the fear of leaving overshadowed the need to escape. His unpredictability made it nearly impossible to know how much worse things may become.
It wasn't the type of group to pressure someone into doing something that they weren’t comfortable with but give support reminding each other that they weren’t crazy or that their instincts were usually right. In aris case it was a way to remind her that what she had gone through was real to validate they way she felt and reminder that when she had moments that caused a flashback or unintended reaction, such as pulling away from Sam when he touched her scar, it was just another way she had learned to survive. And that was ok.
“If you want I can help you move while he’s at work.” Aris offered to Denice, who reminded her almost too much of her old self.
She shook her head letting out an exhausted exhale, “No, I don’t think so. His brother is across the street. He would call. I can’t.”
It was a strange realization of how far she had come. To know that she was capable of leaving when others couldn’t. How now the idea of a brother watching over her, wasn’t an ominous force, but a caring person who had only her best interest at heart. She was lucky, it was no longer a real person that set out o hurt her only the one that lived in her memories.
Before more could be said a timer went off indicating that meeting was over. As always it seemed to end too soon, no one wanted to go back to the reality of living in fear, standing on eggshells. Saying a quick goodbye Aris walked out to find the motorcycle that she had borrowed from the garage. Before she mounts the bike, A soft warm hand rested on on her shoulder.
It was Zoe the elderly women that had been running the group. Her face held a depth of understanding as she took a drag of her freshly lit cigarette, “If you need somewhere to stay. You are always welcome here.”
“I’m fine really. Better than I have been in ages, to be honest.” Aris held on to the handle of the bike ready to get back home. The words were truer than she had ever considered.
Zoe looked up at her through a pair of glasses raising the eyebrows not completely believing her words. “I’m sure.” She tugged at Aris shirt plucking it then releasing it where the blood spatter was. “This ain’t my first rodeo kid.”
“Really, I’m fine. You should be talking to Denice, not me.” Aris looked around dismissively. “That girl was where I was a year ago. She needs to get out.”
Zoe nodded. “Can’t say I don’t agree. Alright, well have good night Millie.”
“You too Zoe.” Aris jumped on the bike, relaxing into the seat as she took off into the night.
Halfway back to the bunker, the bike begins to slow the light on it goes out leaving the darkness as her only company. Pulling off to the side Aris puts down the kickstand sitting back on her bike, she let the cool wind play with her hair lifting it, pulling it in different directions. The dim moonlight illuminated the barron street. It wouldn’t be long now til someone came along. She waited patiently for the comforting sound or the roar of an engine.
Climbing down she stood at the edge of the road looking as pathetic as she could muster. The first two cars that past didn’t even slow down, the third stopped but Aris waved the family on saying that there was someone on the way. Offering to wait for Aris shook her head. Just up the road, she saw the big rig that she had been waiting for.
“Here they come now.” She let the anticipation creep into every cell of her body. Let the excitement fill her every pour. As the family drove off it wouldn’t be a matter of if the truck would stop but when.
She had been after him for a week now, each time missing just by a few minutes. Would he come back this time? Or would he stop the first time he passed her by. It didn’t take long to get the answer, the screeching of brakes was followed by the click of a door opening up. Up in the cabin was a greasy man with an unkempt beard and potbelly. He was larger than Aris had originally thought him to be but jumped in nonetheless.
“Lost Darlin?” His voice was grease as he was. His eyes moving up and down her body, pausing a moment at her low cut top. The light was too low to reveal the blood on her shirt. “I can give you a ride.” There was a double meaning to his words.
“Thanks, my bike died. Been stranded for hours, so glad you stopped.” The charm in her voice purposely egging him on she shut the door but didn’t put on the seatbelt.
Every few minutes his eyes flickered back to her staring down her chest then falling to thighs. Aris shifted in the seat trying to force away from the adrenaline but felt it building inside her. She waited, soon enough she would get what she was looking for. The truck turned off a dead end road with no street lights.
Playing dumb Aris looked around. “Why are we stopping?”
“I heard something bump.” He opened the door. “Give me a hand would you?”
“Alright.” Climbing down the hair on the back of her neck began to stand, a knot in her stomach. She pushed it aside knowing fully that it was all too accurate. “What can I help you with?”
As she walked around the front she was literally hit with the reality of the situation. A fat fist to the gut knocked the wind out of her, reaching for the front of the truck to balance herself. The hot hood nearly burning her hand. Sucking in a sharp breath Aris regained herself just in time to dodge another blow. Ducking them sweeping her leg the mountain of a man crashed to the ground letting out a groan in pain. Pulling the dagger from her boot she moved on him ready to carve into his chest.
But the large man was faster than he would appear, scrambling to his feet he stood a hint of amusement and delight danced in his eyes. “It’s been awhile since I got to play. So let's play little lady.”
Moving more carefully this time Aris readied herself for a good fight. He had nearly seven inches on her, at least 120 lbs. But it wasn’t as if she hadn’t taken on bigger pray before. He swung at her then again, missing each time. The knife grazed his side cutting threw his shirt blood fell from his side. He screamed taking a moment to look at his wounds, the amusement had gone, leaving rage in its wake.
“Ya fuckin’ bitch! I was gonna leave you looking pretty but hell I don’t mind turning you over instead.” This time when he charged he faked a swing kicking at her leg instead.
Stepping back she missed judged the loose gravel tripping backward, falling on her back. Hitting the ground she held tight to the knife but a boot came down on her hand, the pressure of it making her loosen her grip the knife went flying out of reach. The boot then moved to her throat, crushing her airway instinctively she clawed at the man's leg. He only laughed reaching down pulling her up by her hair.
“Ain’t you somethin’ else.” The grotesque smell of cheap cigars and rotten teeth permeated the air around them.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Aris spat in his face. He closed his eyes for a moment just long enough for her to get the upper hand. Using the hand he held her by as leverage she pulled her leg back swinging as hard as she could, her foot making contact with his groan he fell to the ground gasping for air. “Steel toes feel good doesn’t it.”
She walked over picking up the knife that had been knocked down before. “See from what I understand you’ve done some bad shit. Hunting down girls, selling them to the highest bidder. Keeping a few for yourself, it was up to me we would do this nice and slow. I would make sure you felt every hit, every scratch, every violation you put those girls threw.”
“Fuckin’ whore.” it was the only word he could muster through the pain.
“I don’t have time for that, however. People waiting for me back home and all that. But don’t you have someone waiting for you too.” Aris raised the blade plunging it thru the man's heart.
The light faded from his eyes, leaving nothing but a hollow shell. She looked at the work she had made of him, enjoying every passing moment only returning to her sense as thunder cracked across the sky. A dampness in the air that clung to her skin ,a weight lifted off her chest. Digging through his pockets she found a wallet and a set of keys taking the cash she tossed the wallet on the body. Walking around the back the doors swung open hitting the side. Three timid women cowered in the back. Aris didn’t bother to talk to them just left the doors swinging as she made the hike back to the bike.
It was the fight, the adrenaline that coursed through her veins, an addiction that she needed to feed. Better than any drug out there. While hunting with Sam and Dean helped fill the whole a little it wasn’t the same feeling as being completely alone with only herself to rely on. It was another secret that she kept from the one that Sam would never approve of. He worried about her too much as is. One day maybe she wouldn’t need the fear to feel normal, or the excitement it brought. But for now, it was what kept her sane.
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