#there were a lot of brain cells dying in that comments section

[vangoghcoffeeco]

i open pinterest, i get a headache; i close pinterest; i open tumblr, i get a headache; i close tumblr; i open pinterest-

[twstdreams]

A Bouquet to Share: Flower Foraging

CYOA: Chronic Hanahaki AU

Length: 2K | ao3 link

Warnings: fluff, mentions of flu/cold

next

You’re waiting in front of the mirror for your turn to pass, behind the infamous first years. No one in NRC isn’t aware of the prefect and their friends, mostly how they perpetually get themselves in all sorts of trouble. 

“Hey, wasn’t the prefect going to be in our group?” Jack asks

“Oh, they couldn’t make it because they got sick,” Deuce answers. There’s a pause as the unasked question lingers in the air. If they’re just suffering from a passing virus or if it’s that illness.

“With a normal cold,” Ace clarifies, “Grim’s been complaining about having to take care of them.”

You think you’ve heard ten different iterations of this conversation before. Some with Octa A-kun, another with a Pomefiore duo, the same rumours and inquiries always start flying when winter is broken by spring’s warm touch. Everyone wants to know who has hanahaki and chronic sufferers are always the first suspect. People attempt to deduce who’s sick because of pollen or because of the flowers blooming in their lungs. It’s not a lethal disease with modern magic and technology, but you swear enough drama follows it to make up for the lack of imminent doom.

“Hand!” the ghost before you demands once you’re at the front of the line. You offer the back of your hand and immediately a rose is stamped on it, proof that you’re a student who has access to the Great Seven botanical gardens. Then you step through the mirror and are greeted by the site of a massive glass structure. You’re excited to explore the grounds. Each area is its own biome with unique flora and fauna which flourish in that environment. Personally, you’re hoping to see the aquatics section for fun, but you need to ensure that you complete your assignment first.

“Meet each other in the tropical region in two hours!” you text to Jamil and he responds with an affirmation. You two had already agreed to this prior to the project. Most people are wandering the gardens with their partner, but you know Jamil has his hands full with Kalim. You just hope Jamil will actually get to appreciate a couple flowers too.

Officially, the headmaster says this is a field trip for all grades because botany is useful in several fields of magic. You think it’s because a massive amount of students visiting from a prestigious school gets him some sort of discount, but those aren’t thoughts you voice out loud. Not that you care, the Great Seven Botanical gardens hosts some unique and deadly plants, even more so than the poisonous flowers allowed to bloom on campus. You can't choose a lot of them for your assignment but nothing is stopping you from visiting them if you have extra time. Plus, activities amongst different classes aren’t that common, let alone those in various years. If you’re lucky, you might see Malleus amongst the flowers.

You’ve only met Malleus at night, on late walks while perhaps avoiding a guard or two. The daffodils at the entrance remind you of your first meeting with Malleus. But you can’t recall clearly, was there only one daffodil at the spot where you met or several?

-

Staying up late the night before to cram for a test, only to crash and take a nap afterwards completely messed up your sleep schedule. No amount of staring at your ceiling was going to make you drowsy. Besides, you want to explore the campus and check out some night-blooming flowers. You spotted several during the day but hadn’t gotten the chance to see them underneath the moonlight. 

You slip out of your dorm to enjoy the slight breeze and fresh air entering your lungs. Exploring the campus at night feels a little liminal. Not to say that it was silent, some nocturnal familiars scurry around, a ghost or two floating, and more than a couple of students here and there creating background noise. But it's interesting to see a campus normally overflowing with life morph into something restful and quiet. The closer you get to the Ramshackle dorm, the more this effect becomes more pronounced.

You spot plenty of random vegetation growing on the lawns of the dorm. You’d be willing to bet a week’s worth of lunches that dorm hasn’t had real maintenance for at least a decade. Horrid for the prefect living there, you really do feel bad for them, but lots of fun for your midnight flower foraging trip. Your phone battery is dying fast with the flashlight so you test out a new spell you’ve recently learned. You murmur the incantation and a ball of light forms in the palm of your hand. You try to extend it so it acts as a familiar but the light begins to flicker so you’re stuck with having it illuminate the area around your hand. A little testing, a failure or two, and you’re able to create a soft light to guide you. Your hand is nothing but a glorified flashlight, but you can see your surroundings so it’s not a total fail. Unfortunately, what you thought was some pretty evening primrose is actually daffodils.

“How odd. You’re not one of the Ramshackle inhabitants,” a voice notes. You’re certain a ghost has come to lecture you, but you let out a gasp when you realize a living being is behind you.

“I’m, uh, yeah I don’t live here,” you admit, “Just wanted some fresh air. I couldn’t sleep.” You were honestly hoping to avoid all dorm leaders, you know some don’t take kindly to students leaving their dorm after hours, and you think some greater force must be laughing at you because somehow you’ve stumbled upon the most mysterious and powerful one.

“And you came to this abandoned building to do that?” His voice is even. You’re not sure if there’s an accusation laced in his statement or if his regal airs just make him always seem confident and a bit unfriendly.

“I thought it’d be cool to see the night-blooming flowers too,” you add, “There’s supposed to be some evening primrose and moonflowers beneath a gargoyle but I can’t figure out which one it is.” 

“I can introduce you to the correct gargoyle,” Malleus comments. Your head, which is frantically processing information and doing its best to be logical, tells you that’s probably a social cue to ask him to show you where the gargoyle is. Your mind, however, is still trying to comprehend how the heck you ended up meeting the Malleus Draconia on a weedy lawn.

“I am part of the gargoyle appreciation society,” he continues but the way his lips were pressed into a thin line indicates that you’ve spent a little too long coming up with a response.

“Oh! That’s impressive,”—now isn’t a good time to admit you didn’t know that club existed—“if you don’t mind, then I’d really appreciate it!” He nods once in acknowledgement and you begin trailing after the dragon fae. 

“Do you know about each of the gargoyles?” you ask; you ought to express interest in his passions when he’s doing you a favour. You’re not sure what to expect, but it was most definitely not an encyclopedic infodump about Ramshackle’s gargoyles.

“This is the first gargoyle, located on the entrance to the east building. Are you able to see it?” Before you had a chance to answer, Malleus casts a spell of light that creates fake fireflies which illuminate your surroundings. 

“Now I can. It kind of looks like a crow,” you answer. The gargoyle is easy to see but you think Malleus’ elegant magic is more beautiful. Your lightbulb of a hand is almost embarrassing and you quickly stop the spell.

“It is a crow, which is extremely rare for a gargoyle. This is the only one I’ve ever seen. Its quality means it must have been made by a famous craftsman. It looks like it could take flight at any moment.” He goes on about the history of the gargoyles here; you’ve never really been interested in them but the way Malleus talks about them with such excitement makes you engaged. It’s the way that extensive knowledge is intertwined with informed hypotheses while the excitement in his tone never leaves. Hearing Malleus talk about something he loves feels enchanting and endearing. His bubbling enthusiasm is cute.

“This is the gargoyle with the evening primrose and moonflowers,” Malleus announces. Once he finishes his little spiel about its history, you begin to take pictures of the flowers. You want to ask if you can take a picture of him; there’s something so odd about this experience that you want a picture to prove it is real. However, the fresh air has awaken your brain cells and they let you know that perhaps asking someone you just met for a photo in the dead of night is not the best idea. But well, Malleus has been pretty accommodating so you decide to ask for another favour.

“If you don’t mind, could you teach me that light spell?” you inquire. The surprise is evident in his expression and you wonder if you’re being too selfish.

“Is that so? You want me to help you with your spell? Interesting,” he comments and honestly, the pause makes you so nervous you regret ever opening your mouth, “Very well. Show me what you can do.” Even though you're the one who asked, you're a little surprised that the Malleus Draconia has agreed to some impromptu tutoring.

“I can summon a light but I’m having trouble making it steady after it stops making contact with my body,” you explain while taking out your wand. You murmur the incantation and a soft light envelopes your hand while illuminating your surroundings. As the light starts to float away, its shape begins to morph and looks like a blob of light which never stays a consistent shape, akin to a lava lamp. 

“You have enough magic to power the spell. The changing shape suggests that you’re having trouble imagining the outcome,” Malleus sumrises, “Why don’t you try mimicking the shape of mine?” Malleus adjusts the shape of his firefly lights into simple spheres. Unfortunately, it does not go so smoothly for you. First the light looks like a balloon, then it shrinks to the size of a marble, but when you have it at a reasonable size then the edges of the ball begin to quiver.

“I’m sorry it’s taking me so long,” you mutter. Sure, you don’t expect to be on the same level as someone as infamous as the Diasomnia dorm leader, but this feels embarrassing.

“You aren’t expected to master everything at the beginning. Don’t be shy,” he reassures. His comforting words encourage you to calm down. You take in a deep breath and start again. The light transforms into a uniform sphere—your own little sun for this corner of the world the two of you are tucked away in.

“I did it!” you exclaim, “It’s all thanks to your advice!” You toss the light between your hands before extending it to float beside Malleus’.

“You already completed the basics. I only offered some advice,” he gently protests but a smile remains on his face all the same.

“What’s the incantation to change its colour again?” you ask, and Malleus says it aloud for you to repeat. You alter your spell, dying it in your favourite colour, then allow it to dance in the sky. His luminescent green light merges with yours, and the spells twine with each other.

-

Since then you’ve taken to late-night walks for exercise and hopes of meeting Malleus. You haven’t exactly been charming—

“Are you here to admire gargoyles?” Malleus inquires when the two of you meet in the dead of night yet again.

“No, but I can,” you offer. Admitting to the ruler of the valley of thorns that you have been wandering around at night to see him again because you’re very intrigued and a little enamoured is not ideal. Luckily Malleus never questions your intent.

— but the two of you are on friendly terms now. So far no flowers were blooming in your lungs, but you’d be lying if you said a crush wasn’t taking root in your heart. But before you could linger on any hypothetical flowers, you have to pick an actual flower for your assignment! As a second year, you will have to grow whichever flower you pick back at school. 

Which flower will you choose? Vote here

White and pink carnations

Crimson astilbe (feather flowers)

Purple snapdragons

Orange tiger lilies

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[laughing-with-god]

Yandere BTS as fanboys

Jin- You’re his idol. He strives to be like you. That outfit you were wearing at the airport last week? He bought a matching one. You mentioned your favorite food on a mukbang V-live? He mastered cooking it. That one funny joke you said on that variety show? He repeats it all the time to his friends because it’s just so funny. If someone said that Jin was the male version of you, he’d be so touched to the point of tearing up. You were perfection in human form. Hate to say this, but if anyone dared to say that another girl idol was prettier or more talented than you, he’d definitely bash.

Prone to- Matching selcas and outfits, being a solo stan, going broke to see you in person via concerts and meets, unsubconsciously altering his appearance to fit your ideal type, bashing your ‘competition’

“Irene has no personality whatsoever and looks like an ajumma. You dare compare her to Y/n?!”

Yoongi- Analyzes your lyrics and uses them as inspiration for his own. Quiet fan, says he doesn’t need people to know that he’s a fan of an idol but really he wants to keep you to himself. Listens to your music at least 10 times a day. Helps him cope day to day and will switch to the acoustic versions when he’s trying to fall asleep. He could pick out your voice from a sea of others. He worships it. Doesn’t pay attention to idol culture, but if it involves you he’ll look out. Has a separate account to follow your social media. Has high hopes of one day working with you and creating a masterpiece together. He won’t get mad if someone disses your looks or personality (he kinda prefers it that people don’t find you as desireable as he does so he doesn’t have ‘competition’) but if someone ever came for you music....god help them.

Prone to- Quiet and solo Stan, has you as his background, skips through your members’ voices to get to yours alone, genuinely believes that you two will end up together, doesn’t consider himself a fan rather an appreciator of your music, pushes himself as a producer to one day work with you

“Y/n is so much more than an idol. She’s an artist. She’s so much bigger than Kpop, it’s offensive that she gets compared to the likes of Twice or Gfriend....”

Namjoon- Protective Stan. Dating scandals? He’s the type to get into a rant showing EXACT ANGLES OF YOUR EYELINE to prove that you weren’t lovingly gazing at the other idol. Controversy? The type to send letters to your company, begging them to sue dispatch and other sites for trying to tarnish your name. The type to try to search for deeper meanings with music videos and lyrics in quest for a story or conspiracy. Will copy your pictures for his own social media and have the caption of some deep quote you once said. Considers himself too mature for fan wars but his three paged rants in YouTube/Instagram/tumblr comment sections will tell you otherwise. Dresses like you and even tries to incorporate some of your mannerisms and sayings into his day to day behavior.

Prone to- Copying your social media presence, sending your company LOTS of letters, getting way too heated with other fans who just don’t ‘get’ you like he does, deadass wants to get a tattoo of a quote from you on him.

“Y/n is just a very complex person. I don’t expect you to understand what she meant by *blank* but trust me it wasn’t that. She’s just very philosophical and wise. Your two brain cells wouldn’t understand.”

Hoseok- LOUD stan. Has a YouTube channel for recreating your choreo. Has another YouTube channel for covering your songs. Has another channel for reaction videos of videos concerning you. Posters on his wall, saved selcas in his gallery, all your songs on shuffle and notifications for your social media are on so he won’t miss a thing. Has a proud tally for all the concerts he’s attended. Will happily roast someone online for the sake of fan wars. Will support your group/members as much as he can but at the end of the day you are his ride or die. Merch King. One of the most well known fans, one day your groups’ twitter account retweeted him and he SCREAMED SO LOUD despite being in public.

Prone to- Online stalking, skipping work or school if it interferes with going to your concerts or catching a V-live, going off on a hater and using his platform to protect your image

“Lmao imagine thinking that Y/n gives any types of shit about a weirdo weeabo like you?Talk all the shit you want from behind your crusty keyboard, she’s literally so unbothered💅🏼” *tweet from his fan account bc I picture him being THAT bitch*

Jimin- soft stan. Has a tumblr, wattpad and archive of our own account bc he LIVES for anything that can make him feel like he’s in a love story with you. Fluff, angst, fantasy ect. He’s always seen with his head buried in his phone screen and eyes furiously scanning the latest fic to peak his interest. Has a portable charger bc he cannot risk his phone dying whilst in the climax of a good plot. Not too involved with idol politics but he is very protective of you. Will def notice if you look a tad thinner or tired and type a comment telling you to eat more and rest well. Prob tell your company to lay off if I’m being honest. Supports your group 110% and doesn’t engage in fan wars bc he knows that you wouldn’t approve. The type to tell other frenzied fans online, “what would Y/n think?” Your his ideal type and he strives to be yours, dyes his hair and gets contacts to fit with your type.

Prone to- Obsessing over your well-being, spending too many hours a day reading fics about you (considers making his own), false sense of reality

“I know that Y/n doesn’t deserve this hate but pls don’t go bashing on haters on her behalf. Honestly it makes the fan base look bad and Y/n wouldn’t be proud. Let’s just focus on showing her love to drown out the negative. 💗”

Taehyung- You’re his goddess. Tries to mimic you in every way. Your hair color, your clothes, your accessories, eye colors and even the way you walk or talk. You’re just such an icon to him and so refreshing, he can’t tear his eyes away from you. Every idol is just so boring compared to you. You magnetize him. In his free time he tries to draw you and has honestly gotten so good at it. Another one to try to have a social media theme similar to yours. Got a pet and named it after you. Mimics your style and changes it up whenever you do. Will travel to the places you do, ESP if it’s for a fashion show. Even copies your skincare routine and diet. Follows your accounts but loves your from afar, doesn’t participate in petty fan behavior bc his ego is too big to ever settle for a ‘fan’ title.

Prone to- online stalking and copying, actual stalking, huge ego and warped sense of reality

“Y/n is going to be in Paris next week so I gotta book my flight now. Do you think she’s gonna be at the Gucci or Dior show? I would say Gucci but she never fails to surprise me...”

Jungkook- bby stan. You took his breath away when he first saw your music video. IU who? He watches EVERYTHING with you in it, streams all your music, follows all your accounts and buys all the merch. He strives to be your ideal type. He covers all your music but posts them online without showing his face bc he’s too shy. He used to be a fan war warrior but when he had a lil accident (cough smashing his laptop into a wall when the hater continued to call you a whore cough) he now tries his best not to participate and instead just focus on you alone. He would never admit it, but he’s the type to look up your zodiac sign and his sign to read about how compatible you two are. Doesn’t want to be so obvious as to wear matching outfits as you, but does get small things like the same phone case or necklace as you have. Just to feel closer to you. Would totally go to a fan meet if he knew he wouldn’t have a panic attack being face to face with his soulmate.

Prone to- getting a bit too heated when defending you, ignoring his actual responsibilities to obsess over you, buying small things to feel closer to you, suppressing aspects of his persona that he thinks you wouldn’t like

“Y/n said she liked guys who are laidback. Ugh...am I too practical for her? Maybe I should learn how to go with the flow a bit more. The horoscope did say she was going to have a problem with my Virgo tendencies....”

[aldersey-blog]

Effects Of Anesthesia After Surgery

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[inbedwithbooksx]

Girl in the Blue Coat Section One

Chapters 1 - 14 1). What task does Mrs. Janssen ask Hanneke to help her with, and how did Mrs. Janssen end up in the predicament? Mrs. Janssen asks Hanneke to help her find a missing girl - Mirjam. Apparently Mrs. Janssen had been hiding Mirjam in her hidden pantry area because one day Mirjam came banging on her door very frightened saying that her whole family had been killed. That was when Mrs. Janssen found out that her husband had been actually hiding Mirjam’s family in their furniture store, but during some raid, the Nazis ended up shooting and killing all of Mirjam’s family and Mr. Janssen himself. Because Mirjam didn’t have any family left, and because Mrs. Janssen didn’t have any family left either after her sons went to war, she decided to help continue hiding Mirjam but in her own house. 

Mrs. Janssen woke up to Mirjam no longer in her hiding place, and she says that there is no way that Mirjam could have left through the front door because Mrs. Janssen and her neighbor across the street had been sitting on the porch, so they would have heard/seen if Mirjam left. But then at the back door, there is this big latch that must be done from on the inside of the house for the door to have locked, and when Mirjam disappeared, Mrs. Janssen noticed the latch was locked into place, so she doesn’t believe Mirjam could have left through the back either. That’s why it makes it even more of a mystery. 2). How did Hanneke end up in the black market business? She attempted to find many different jobs but nobody was hiring Hanneke. So eventually, she got desperate, and just about begged Mr. Kreuk to give her a job once they met. He hired her as a receptionist at a funeral home. Because of this job was she able to fall into the black market business. Mr. Kreuk had an on the side gig going on of stocking up on the monthly ration cards that the Germans would send out but of dead people. Apparently Mr. Kreuk never gave Hanneke the run down officially on how he was able to come up with all the extra ration cards but her guess was that because he worked at the funeral home, he could find access to their rations left. He would give the cards to Hanneke who would get requests from customers for items/goods that were difficult to come by, like cigarettes, real coffee, lipstick, etc. So she works her legal and illegal jobs. 3). Why is Ollie at the Bakker’s apartment when Hanneke arrives home from work? He actually knows Judith, the woman who Hanneke ran into when at the Jewish school. When Hanneke went in searching for any information on Mirjam, a woman stopped her in the hall asking what she was doing or who she was looking for. Mirjam freaked and didn’t know what to say, so she ended up telling a half truth - she said she was there because she was heartbroken over Bas and was looking for something related to that or something. Well, it got back to Ollie because Bas was Ollie’s younger brother, and Judith knew they were brothers. So she told Bas how odd her encounter was at the school. Ollie came asking Hanneke why she was at the school like she was.  4). What kind of meeting does Ollie drag Hanneke to without her consent? She thinks she’s going to a supper club to meet up with Judith to ask her more questions about Mirjam. But when she gets there, she realizes it’s not a supper club. It’s actually a resistance meeting to discuss ways in which the group is basically fighting back to the Nazis. Mirjam despises the fact that Ollie would bring her there, when the punishments for that can be torture/death, without her consent. Even just hearing the things makes her liable because then she becomes involved in some way just by knowing the things are existing. The group talks about fake ration cards they’re trying to create to drop off at the Schouwburg Theater, which used to be just a nice theater in which Hanneke had actually gone to with Bas’ family. 5). What does Hanneke learn about the Schouwburg Theater? She knows of the theater because she’s been there to enjoy it. But she learns at the meeting that the theater has now converted to a Jewish deportation center. It’s a holding cell basically for the German prisoners before being deported to the work camp they will be officially stationed at.  6). What kind of delivery does Mina take Hanneke on? Judith connects Hanneke with someone who will most likely know more about Mirjam, her cousin Mina. She works at the nursery right across the street from the Schouwburg Theater. Mina says she has to keep working and deliver something, but she would love to help fill Hanneke in on what she knows about Mirjam. Mina hands Hanneke something to carry and it’s super heavy - Hanneke has an intense feeling of knowing that what she’s holding is something illegal, but she just assumes they are the fake ration cards or something else the resistance has whipped up, but when the meeting occurs, Hanneke realizes she was very wrong. Mina hands over a baby to a woman and says her name is Regina. The woman states how happy her and husband are about this because they’ve always wanted a daughter, and Mina basically says “Well now you do”, implying she was giving her this baby.

Mina explains, and apparently part of her job in the nursery is to find new homes for babies who’s family have either already been taken or for those who know it’s just in their best interest to rehome their babies to a family who would be able to take care of them better. Hanneke had no clue that this type of behavior was taking place, and now she feels even more like she’s involving herself in the resistance. 7). Why does Hanneke blame herself for Bas’ death? Hanneke makes multiple mentions before this part basically implying that she felt she was to blame for Bas’ death, but she finally explained by saying that Bas really only signed up to be a soldier in the war because it was something Hanneke felt super strongly about. At that point, Hitler had said that he wouldn’t be invading their country, and Hanneke felt nothing but empowered to fight back. She didn’t realize how god awful their country would become and how truly unsafe of a choice it was to send him on his way to fight for their country. She says he wouldn’t have even signed up if it weren’t for Hanneke because he didn’t feel particularly drawn to it. She said she went with him to go sign up, and because he wasn’t even 18, they said he wasn’t allowed to join anyway. But Hanneke even went as far as to convince them he should be able to join, so she blames herself because he ended up dying. 8). What realization does Hanneke have about the garden stake after helping Mrs. Janssen retrieve her glasses? Why wouldn’t it surprise Hanneke if Mirjam did do that with the garden stake? Hanneke has to use something thin and long to retrieve Mrs. Janssen’s glasses from behind her armoire. Mrs. Janssen then makes a comment about needing to leave the stake out because she might end up needing it for other things now that she doesn’t have anyone else around the house to help her with things like that. And it occurs to Hanneke that if the garden stake was outside by the back door, maybe Mirjam was able to maneuver the latch on the back door to be locked, even if she was standing on the outside. They go try this theory, and after a few tries, Hanneke is able to lock herself out of the back door by standing outside, which was what they originally thought wouldn’t be possible. 

Although it seemed like a lot of work, it doesn’t surprise Hanneke much at all because she knows from her personal experience what one would do for love. In fact, there really isn’t a limit as to what someone feeling intense love will do in order to be with that person, etc. Hanneke thinks about how despite the fact that such horrible things are going on around them, of course Mirjam would still have such human thoughts because one can’t only consume their thoughts about the horrors going on. They have to give their brain a break and be a real human with feelings, and so Hanneke assumes Mirjam has left to go find who she’s in love with - Tobias.

[animusharmonia]

At about the beginning of last school year, I began logging the random stuff I’ve heard or seen around the wonder that is high school. Admittedly, some of this contains some of my shenanigans, because who am I going to pay more attention to other than myself. Writing every single thing all at once would take a while (the document I’ve been using is nearly to 16 pages as of now), so this is just a collection of some of what I deem funnier or more bizarre. 

Class split into groups of 4. The four Asian kids teamed up. The one guy of the group whispered “Asian Invasion” 

The manga section of the school library had two volumes of yaoi

The manga section of the school library being mixed in with the comic section

The comic and manga section of the school library being in the middle of the non-fiction area because “its cultural”

“I can’t reach the top shelf in my house, and who’s going to help me there? My dog? I don’t think so.” 

“Wow! That’s so cool! I don’t care, I might tomorrow. No, wait! It’s Saturday!”

“This one is fancy heels, this one is fancy pants”

“Wait, it’s a different Louis?” “There are a lot of Louii”

“And then the guillotine was too slow, so they shot them instead” “...okay”

“This is due Thursday, right? Let’s discuss who’s doing what slide and leave it at that because yay, procrastination”

The Latin teacher teaching us how to say “Go to hell” in Latin when she told a story about someone in the Latin 3 class having asked what the phrase in question from one of their books meant

The radio was playing music over the gymnasium. My Immortal came on. “I’m so tired of being here” “Hah, same”

“Everyone knows what a coup d'etat is, right?”

We got the majority of the class

“An overthrowing by the military”

And we got this kid

“It sounds like something from Lion King”

“???”

Someone said “Coup d’etat” slowly, to the tuneish of “Hakuna matata”

The realization and understanding dawning across the class

Waiting in those minutes for class to end, a few people sat there quietly singing Hakuna Matata

“A coup d’etat-ta, what a wonderful thing”

“And this guy was like “Hell yeah, we want change…””

“Probably using different words”

“Well yeah, he used French”

“Is that a lacrosse ball?” “Yeah” “We’re in theater, how the fuck did you get that?”

One girl sitting on one of the plastic desk chairs with her knees to her chest, calmly eating a salad as she participated in the class discussion

One girl dislocated her arm in sports and, instead of keeping it in a sling, got this exoskeleton thing made to keep her arm at a 90 degree angle. She was way too excited to discover it was at a perfect angle for dabbing.

“I swear, if we have a pop quiz in that class I’m going to cry. Or kill a man. I can’t tell which anymore”

One girl all but sprinting down the hall as she let out some low shrieking noise, only stopping when she got to her friend’s side and leaned far enough in front of him to make eye contact.

“I was doing, like, six things at once and thought ‘What if the building fell right now? I would get nothing done.’ Because hey, it’s the end of the year, I got all this stuff to do, and it would be really inconvenient.”

One guy had a table in the lobby and stood, roll of tinfoil in hand and tinfoil hat on head, yelling about the Illuminati, aliens, and government. He was passing out tinfoil hats to anyone who wanted them

Someone walked into my Latin class wearing one and magistra asked if the guy was talking about the “Alluminati” instead of the Illuminati

One girl’s promposal where she called out the other girl’s name to get her attention as one friend to her right began playing “Never gonna give you up” and the friend to the right held roses. The sign she held read “It would meme a lot if you went to prom with me” in large shiny foil letters, meme in purple as opposed to the gold of the others, and a pepe in the bottom right corner. It was adorable.

“I nearly got a detention for reading in reading class. I was tempted to continue just for when people asked me what I was in for”

On a Latin test, there was a section where you were given 7 names and you had to give a fact about 5 of them. For Vulcan, the Roman god of fire, someone put “A species of alien that appears in the series Star Trek” and he got a point for that.

A girl put “Got a Yugioh card named after him” in small font for Regulus, but filled in 5 others seriously

One girl who is Very Passionate about Yugioh

The teacher was making hand gestures as he spoke. He paused in gestures with his hand outstretched, still addressing the class, and the person sitting right beside him reached out and gave him a high-five

The guy who gave him the high-five had hacked his (the history teacher’s) computer earlier that year

The common “Final” for jazz band is that the teacher brings in Rock Band and they play that

“I’m amazed, you can hear the lack of brain cells”

One meme of a girl wrote “I’M SCHLEEP” on the whiteboard in band. She took a picture of it and walked away satisfied with herself. A few minutes later, the band director piped up from the back of the room. “Hey, Ashley? What does ‘schleep’ mean?” “I dunno”

Someone hiking up their shorts to the length of girls’ shorts, pulling his shirt down so you can’t see them, and Naruto running a circle around the room

Due to state testing, classes were shortened. On the day of the final band concert, those involved went to their first three classed but remained in third (concert band. Those from wind ensemble were pulled in as well) and lurked there for the rest of the day to practice. Pizza was ordered and soda was brought for a celebration of sorts. The 32 pizzas ordered were emptied within around half an hour.

A group of three girls and two guys. The third girl declared herself the fifth wheel of the group, staring tiredly at the two couples.

She didn’t really seem to care, though, and generally could be found latched onto one of her friend’s arms. Both the friend and friend’s boyfriend didn’t really seem to care either.

The other couple, meanwhile, was fluent in innuendos and suggestive comments that tended to scare away the asexual fifth wheel.

“Freshmen, do not climb into the trash cans, thank you.”

One girl convinced some guy in class that Inside Out ends with the girl dying

“That’s not possible.” “It’s magic, shut up.”

“Why is the final cumulative? I can’t remember shit.”

One girl’s realization that graduation was the following day (seniors have been out for well over a week, it’s hard to tell) and the complaint at how “WE HAVE TO PLAY AT THE FREAKING THING, WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME THESE THINGS?!”

One kid brought in wasabi candy. He offered some to his table mate before telling him what it was. He ate the offered treat with hesitance and a shrug, but the underlying regret was visible before long.

“I hope you know my scoliosis doesn’t like you.”

Some people (4 or 5?) in the corner of the room, taking the Rice Purity test and comparing answers

Apparently the sole girl of the group had the worst score

A math teacher who doubled as the theater director had his yearbook picture taken in a ghillie suit

The ghillie suits had been gotten for the production of Little Shop of Horrors the year prior

“I love getting stepped on!”

Someone was complaining about how their hair looked bad. Our teacher just “Yeah, tell me about it,” gesturing to his own balding head

One of the freshmen band kids after graduation reverently whispering “You’re free” to every graduate they passed

For graduation, all of the people of the band and choir were wearing muted colors - whites, blacks, pale blues, soft floral patterns, etc. - and then we have one cackling flutist in fluorescent orange

“If Kim Kardashian doesn’t feel ashamed, neither should you” - the fucking valedictorian speech

It contained other golden moments such as “I got to work with some of these students due to my participation in The King and I,” (Note: he was the king) “and one of them said something profound that stuck with me. He beckoned me closer and made me lean down and he whispered in my ear… “yolo.” Now, according to Urban Dictionary, yolo is “a term that should have stopped being used five years ago and means You only live once””

He kept looping back to yolo. “What does yolo mean to you”

Next day some of us from the musical had been talking about that the next day. The collective statement was “Hudson. That was Hudson”

“We were the first class to take keystones, and the last generation to not get touchscreen laptops. What a time to be alive!”

The “corner crew” of Latin class (the people who had taken the Rice Purity test) decided to get a group picture with the teacher. One person in the group is my book-nerd friend who had been placed there by the teacher in an attempt to break up their antics (it didn’t work, they absorbed him, much to his exasperation). My friend is the smallest out of the group, so they decided to pick him up. The picture was taken with “Te Amo, Latin” written on the board behind them, my friend held aloft horizontally, and magistra slightly crouched in front of the group with an unsure smile.

The corner crew also had done a presentation on how Canada is just a government conspiracy and also the government is run by shape shifting lizards

“Did you really assign a project? Mr [Last name], I am appalled! There are four days left in school”

It was a 6 prompt essay. All prompts had to be answered with proper sources and everything.

That got a lot longer than intended, so I only covered the happenings of last year (still 6.5 pages of nearly 16)...