#there were A LOT of later seasons questions which was fun

[charmac]

Guess who won Sunny’s 19th birthday trivia

[strawbeerossi]

Sweet Treat

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: Penelope gives you aphrodisiac chocolates as a gag gift. Whenever you and Spencer have a movie night, you both don’t realize what sweets you are delving into.

Content/Warnings: Awkward little banter between friends, mutual pining is mentioned, food/eating, aphrodisiacs, unprotected sex

Word Count: 2.4K

Kinktober Day Twenty Three: Aphrodisiacs

Navigation || Kinktober Masterlist || AO3

“Penelope, what the hell is this?” You asked, a laugh leaving your lips as you looked over the container of what looked to be normal chocolate. “Well! I found it online and apparently it’s some of that chocolate that you eat and you just wanna go crazy on the first person you see.” She giggled.

A girls night meant all sorts of things but whenever Penelope pulled out presents, you knew exactly where this was going. You and the girls had met up at her place about an hour ago. After ordering Chinese takeout and having way too much wine, the night had taken a bit of a turn when it came to discussions. Women talk. Sex was a main topic between you and your small friend group.

“So you are giving them to me?! P, I don’t even have a boyfriend.” You laughed. “Who needs a boyfriend whenever you can have fun with anyone in the world. Just keep them.”

And so you did. It was days after the fact whenever you were inviting Spencer over for a marathon of your favorite show. It was going to be fun, you and your best friend from the office watching your favorite show together. He’d offered to pick up food on the way, which he’d stuck with a good Thai place that you both had eaten at numerous times before whenever you got back from a particularly late case.

Spencer was your best friend on the team, the both of you being closer in age compared to the rest of the crew you worked with. Plus you had similar interests when it came to books, movies, among other things. You’d greeted him with a wide smile the minute the door opened. “Hey!” You grinned while moving to hug him. Despite his disdain for hugs or being touched, he’d slowly began to let you in more. He was happy to hug you or have you hold his hand whenever you needed to pull him somewhere else in a crowded room without losing him.

He enjoyed being by your side. Honestly, he was sure he was in love with you because of how caring you were. You listened to his rambles and even asked him further questions. You even laughed at the jokes that were complicated to understand. You were truly a light shining bright on the team. “I hope you have snacks because I didn’t even stop.” Spencer groaned after returning the hug with one arm as his foot kicked the front door shut. “I do. I have a lot in the kitchen.” You assured.

You'd started the new season of your show together and gotten through dinner within a few episodes before Spencer disappeared into the kitchen as you paused the program on tv. “Don’t take too long! I gotta see how this plays out!” You called while leaning back against the couch, pulling the blanket over your body while letting out a soft hum. Spencer had ended up grabbing some chocolate. Which he didn’t read over the label as he grabbed a tab from the container and looked it over. “That’s cute. It’s got little shapes.” He chuckled to himself, breaking one in half as he was moving to take a bite from the rich milk chocolate. It was to die for, so he had to take the other half to you so you could try before you both tore into the bag together.

“Try this. It’s so rich. I actually love it.” He’d commented. You weren’t paying attention to what the chocolate looked like, bringing it up to your nose and smelling it before you were pulling the piece in your mouth. Which it was delicious, your eyebrows raising. “Wow, that really is good.” You laughed, watching as Spencer was sitting down and passing over snacks to you. “We can eat the chocolate later. You know sweet stuff can either send me flying on the walls or I end up feeling bad to do anything.” Fair enough.

It was an hour later when you were on another episode, your body was feeling hot as you shifted uncomfortably on the couch. You wouldn’t like to think that you were attracted to the program, it was a horror series and you were in the middle of a chase scene. So why else were you squirming?

Just as you were going to excuse yourself to take care of the heat in your belly, you noticed Spencer shifting uncomfortably, a pillow resting over his lap. Then you thought about the chocolate, your eyes widening as you were shooting up from the couch and rushing to the kitchen. Spencer watched you, turning slightly on the couch to watch you curiously through the doorway. That’s when you see the box, a soft groan leaving your lips as you lifted up the sex candy while bringing a hand up to rest against your face. ‘

Just great. You knew you should’ve just put it in your room.

“Spencer.” The sound of your voice had him nearly jumping out of his skin as he quickly faced the tv again. “Yeah?” He asked as his hand clutched the pillow harder. Maybe you’d caught him. Even someone who wasn’t a profiler could tell there was something going on, not to mention the growing tension between the both of you.

Mutual pining was normal and you both weren’t exempt from that. Spencer was an awkward rambler but you found it endearing. Just as he found you as equally as endearing even if you were quiet a good majority of the time and relished in his ramblings about whatever was brought up. You both enjoyed each other's presence, the two of you spending time together more often than not.

Those unsaid mutual feelings made this whole situation worse.

You approached the couch again as you slowly sat down beside Spencer again, body leaning back against the couch as you could feel yourself hot, face flushed as you couldn’t sit still to save your life. Spencer had now taken notice, clearing his throat. “I-I uh.. I may need to leave soon. M-mom’s facility called.” A lie but it would be a smooth getaway.

“Oh, yeah. Uh, it might be for the best! I forgot that I have to..” Your eyes glanced around the room. “Reorganize my bookshelf!” Less subtle. “R-right. Uh, This seems weird but can you close your eyes for a minute? I just..” His eyes were glued on the pillow, making you bring your eyes down as well. “O-oh.”

“It’s not because of the show!” He squeaked, face bright red as he was looking back at the screen. “I don’t- I don’t know why but I was looking at you and it just.. I don’t know!” He whined. His awkwardness made it hard for him to admit why there was a pillow on his lap outright, however you had clocked the reasons why.

“You know the chocolate..? Uh, Penelope gave me them the other day as a joke and they are.. They are essentially just sex chocolate.” Your face was hot, chest rising and falling as you were feeling the gush of slick in your panties from the heightened arousal. “Wait. Aphrodisiacs?!” Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes, mouth agape in shock. Well, at least he didn’t feel as bad from getting hard after giving you a few glances. There was a reason behind it.

The both of you stared at one another, faces hot and eyes blown out with lust. “So uh.. How long does this last?” Spencer finally asked, his brain being too clouded over with lust as he stared in your direction. “I-I wouldn’t know.. I never used them.” Your nose crinkled as the both of you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away from one another. “I, uh, I lied about my reason to leave.” He stated the obvious while you couldn’t help but let a little laugh escape your lips. “I know..” You admitted, slowly pushing yourself to stand. “I um.. I don’t actually have to reorganize my bookshelf either..” You laughed awkwardly while heading over to stand in front of your best friend, hand moving to gently rest over the pillow. “I don’t want you to go.. Not yet. Can you, um, help me out a little bit? I trust you and you are here.” You rambled on as you put your hands together slowly. Spencer was looking at you with wide eyes as he nodded slowly.

“I’ll help.” You were both a bit awkward at first, the male letting you move the pillow before you were straddling his waist, the show in the background continuing to run as your best friend was blushing nervously. “I gotta admit that I’ve only done this one time before..” He spoke while you offered a smile. “It’s alright.” You whispered as you let your head dip down to connect your lips with his. Your bodies were buzzing with electricity as you were deepening the kiss, your hands tangling in his hair while his hands were gripping your hips.

You never thought you’d be in this position, tongue in your closest friend’s mouth while your hips were grinding down against his. You felt a fire inside of you, your body desperate to be bare and touched. As you pulled out of the kiss much to Spencer’s dismay, you were tugging your shirt over your head before tossing it somewhere else in the room. The sight of your breasts in a white bra had Spencer’s Adams apple bobbing as his eyes were trained on the lace that accentuated your skin. “It’s pretty right? One of my favorites.” You comment while watching his eyes stare at your tits with a new sense of hunger in his eyes.

You took it as a great sign as your hand was reaching behind you, unclasping the top before letting it fall somewhere with your shirt. His hands were quickly coming up to cup your breasts before he was just diving right in, wet kisses being pressed against your skin before his lips were wrapping around your nipple, tongue flicking over the nub as your fingers tangled in his hair. “Fuck.” You cursed while his attention was focused on your chest.

Your body was perfect.

As he had gotten enough though, he was pulling back to examine your chest that was covered in a few hickies and your hardened nipples. “You look so pretty.” It wasn’t akin to being called a whore or a slut but you honestly liked it. The way he complimented your body had your cheeks heating up as you were lifting your hips when he had gained enough confidence to work on your pants. He’d tugged down your pants and panties before working on his own pants.

“Eager?” You commented, a little giggle leaving your lips as Spencer looked at you as if you’d grown another head. “Have you seen yourself?! Of course I’m eager!” He defended himself, causing the both of you to share a laugh. “I hate to rush this but-” He was cut off by a groan as your hand reached between you both to give his leaking cock a few tugs. “I know, me too. You can make up for the lack of foreplay later.” You wiggled your eyebrows as you pressed your lips against his once more, your leaking hole sinking down onto his cock.

The both of you had let out moans muffled in one another’s mouths as your hips rocked slowly, getting adjusted to the man’s thick cock. It was always the awkward nerds who had the best surprises.

Your head was falling on his shoulder as he held your hips with a bruising grip. He wasn’t one to have sex often, not being lucky like Derek in the department of women effortlessly throwing themselves at him. He knew that this scenario was one he never imagined happening, your velvety walls clenching tightly around this bare cock while you essentially used him as a human dildo to get yourself off.

He wasn’t complaining in the slightest, watching your face contort in ecstasy as his hips were thrusting upwards to slam into your leaking cunt, a groan falling from his lips as his head tilted back against the sofa. You were whining and moaning with each thrust that he matched with your movements, eventually pushing the one place you needed most. The impact had your hands clutching tightly to his shoulders as you let your mouth fall open with a soft cry.

“Oh my god, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” Your words were slurred, the effects of the aphrodisiacs heightening all of your arousal so you felt like you were going to burst at the seams. Your body was hot, hips surely bruised by Spencer’s rough grip as he slammed into you as well as your legs shaking from their position.

When you did hit your peak, you were tightly grabbing Spencer’s shoulders as your hips slammed down into his lap, ass hitting his thighs at an unsteady rhythm. Spencer however, was quickly flipping you both over, your body sprawled out against your living room couch as he was rolling on top of you.

Taking the opportunity, he wasn’t skipping a beat as his hips slammed into yours, your sensitive cunt contracting around his cock as he was bringing himself to climax. As your moans and whines from overstimulation echoed in the apartment, his own whines of desperation were falling from his lips.

His cock twitched inside of your used pussy, quickly making the effort to pull out of you as he jerked at his leaking cock, a low huff leaving his lips as ropes of cum were now pooling in your stomach, glazing your bare skin as he let out a weak whine. As you lay there covered in his spent, your chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as you made the effort to catch your breath.

“I think that chocolate needs to be thrown away to avoid incidents like this again,” his voice pulled you out of your post sex haze as you laughed a little. “Are you kidding? I think we need to do this every time we watch our show together.” You teased, making Spencer shake his head with a smile.

“At least hide it for when you have anyone else over. I don’t think I’ll survive if this mix up happens with someone else.”

[lc-holy]

Thomas Astruc and Sébastien Thibaudeau were interviewed on Catboat's Twitch channel. A 5-hour interview in which they talk about their careers, the 5 seasons of miraculous and a little about the seasons to come. (There are no spoilers about season 6, only a few teasers).

The interview will probably be available with English subtitles.

In the meantime, here's a summary of what was said in the interview about season 6 and other Miraculous projects.

Thomas has always loved SAMG's work, and it was he who strongly suggested working with them on the series. But unfortunately, they will no longer be able to work with SAMG for future seasons of Miraculous. Episode production has changed and is no longer compatible with SAMG. However, he remains open to working with them on other projects.

Miraculous will be produced entirely in France from season 6 onwards.

The interviewer asked Thomas if an OVA project with Toei was still planned. But Thomas didn't want to answer the question.

Sébastien explains that they always plan the scenarios well in advance. For example, what happens in season 6 was already planned when season 3 was written. They've already written two pages of ideas for the Season 7 finale.

Thomas says they have ideas to go to a season 12 but it will all depend on the success of the series.

It's impossible for them to have one season too many, because their work is very emotionally demanding, and if they feel that what they're doing is no longer interesting, they stop.

Sébastien hopes that Season 6 will appeal to new viewers as well as those who have been following the series since the beginning.

Miraculous will never evolve into an adult series, it will remain a children's series. But they will always try to satisfy the fans who have been following the series for years.

They also wrote the series to appeal to parents who watch Miraculous with their children.

Sebastien teased us that there will be a song in season 6.

Thomas sincerely believes that season 6 is better than season 5, which was off to a bad start because he wondered how they were going to do better than season 5.

They had a lot of fun writing this new season, and the new writers who joined the series brought a lot of good ideas.

As season 6 begins a new arc, they consider it a season 1.

And with the new animation style, season 6 will bring a lot of new storytelling. It will be different. The stories won't be like the other seasons.

Some people will probably complain that it's different, that it's not like before. It's a question of adaptation.

Sebastien says we'll appreciate season 6 even more when season 7 comes out.

They don't know yet whether the theme song will change. Thomas would like to change, but he knows the fans love the theme song so they don't know yet.

Thomas hints that he didn't write the Shadybug and Claw noir universe to exploit it in a single special. But he remains very vague.

Thomas explains that there are many details in previous seasons that fans didn't understand, but which will make sense in later seasons.

There's a reason why Lila is a mythomaniac, and they'll tell it one day in the series. Thomas even says they've already told it in the series, but we haven't figured it out yet.

Thomas says that Chloe will remain an important character in the coming seasons, as she has always been in the series.

They have clarified that the new animation for the new seasons will have nothing in common with that of the Miraculous movie. Because the movie and the series are not linked.

They will soon be meeting to decide whether Miraculous will be made into a live-action series or not. It will be different from the series. Thomas mentions kwamis in particular, which are complicated to integrate into live action. Thomas has already written the concept. For the series to see the light of day, it will mainly be a question of budget.

[cleo-fox]

Unraveled

Summary: It was all fun and games until Loki started wearing that goddamn sweater.

Pairing: Loki x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, orgasm delay, sex, vaginal fingering, godly refractory periods, kitchen sex, semi public sex, Loki in a sweater.

A/N: My explanation for this one is that I saw too many pictures of Tom Hiddleston in a sweater and it gave me thoughts.

Being an Avenger has made you pretty good at rolling with the punches. After your third or fourth encounter with some alien/wizard/android bullshit, your perspective is fundamentally altered and real life seems manageable in a way that it didn’t before. You have to call your insurance company to dispute a claim? Big deal, you’ve negotiated with terrorists; you can handle Garth from Member Services.

The thing is, having that kind of perspective means that the things that do get to you can rattle you a lot more than they should. Natasha had warned you about that, but you were riding high on the thrill of successfully conquering Blue Cross Blue Shield and you kind of got to thinking she was exaggerating.

And then the seasons started to turn and Loki started wearing that goddamn sweater.

You can recognize when someone is out of your league. When you first moved into the Tower, it had been relatively easy for you to assign Loki to that category: he was a god. He’d been featured in last month’s GQ. You were mortal and your most recent press had been a TMZ story featuring unflattering paparazzi photos of you leaving a bodega in your pajamas at seven o’clock in the morning, a bagel halfway into your mouth. You were clearly not the same.

Up until the sweater, you’d managed to keep your cool around Loki and keep your attraction confined to daydreams and the occasional surreptitious lustful glance. Hell, you’d even had the nerve to be proud of yourself for keeping your shit together in front of him.

The sweater lays waste to all of that.

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like a sweater that is capable of completely destroying your carefully constructed composure. It’s a fairly standard crew neck in a deep green so dark it almost looks black at a first glance. But on Loki it just…does things to you. The fabric is well fitted, clinging to his biceps, pulling taut across his chest, emphasizing the line of his pectorals. It somehow accentuates how muscular he is while also still making him look lean and lithe.

The first time he wears it, you find your eyes just trail to him of their own volition, like an incredibly horny moth to the flame. It’s a day of catching yourself staring, panicking, pretending that you were actually looking at something else, and then repeating the process five minutes later when your gaze inevitably wandered again. It almost would have been funny if it didn’t put your blood pressure into the stratosphere.

To make matters worse, at the end of that day’s debriefing, he rises from his chair and raises his arms to the ceiling in a long stretch. The hem of the sweater creeps up, exposing the firm, flat muscles of his stomach, lightly dusted with a trail of hair that meanders in a tantalizing path down to his belt buckle.

You promptly choke on your own spit. Clint claps you hard on the back and asks if you’re okay, which is a question you don’t know how to answer (ultimately, you stick to a thumbs up and mumble something about dust getting caught in your throat). Loki is too preoccupied complaining about the entire concept of office furniture to notice. Or at least you’re pretty sure he doesn’t notice.

You might have been okay if that had been the only incident, but the sweater makes a repeat appearance on Friday. The following Tuesday features the deadly combination of the sweater with a pair of tight, dark wash jeans that nearly send you into cardiac arrest. Your fantasies suddenly become much more frequent and detailed.

You are not really sure what to do about this—it’s not like you can talk to anyone about it, nor can you ask him to stop wearing it without prompting some very uncomfortable questions. The idea that you’ll get used to it is laughable. 

You look at your calendar and note that spring is six months away. At least.

Fucking hell.

*

It’s a Saturday afternoon and in a strange quirk of scheduling, almost everyone is out of town for a mission or a personal obligation, leaving the Tower unusually quiet. As much as you enjoy the daily clatter and chaos that comes with living here, you find a lot of comfort in these moments of quiet, however infrequent they may be.

You intended to make yourself a late afternoon snack. That was the plan, anyway. But as you’re standing at the kitchen counter and cutting up the fruit you just washed, you realize that you’re not entirely alone. From this vantage point, you can see Loki lounging on the couch in the next room and reading.

He’s wearing the sweater. Of course he’s wearing the sweater. And the so-tight-they-should-be-illegal dark wash jeans.

Goddammit.

You have the sense to set the knife down at least. The last thing you need is a trip to the hospital because you got too distracted by your hot colleague while handling a knife.

You let your gaze travel along the firm muscles of his chest. It’s just a sweater. It shouldn’t look this good. It shouldn’t prompt these kinds of thoughts. And yet…

He shifts on the couch and the hem of the sweater creeps up. His hand drops to his belt buckle. It’s entirely appropriate, but the way his long, long fingers are splayed against his stomach makes your mind drop straight to the gutter and wonder what they’d look like wrapped around his rock hard co—

“You know, it’s rude to stare.”

His voice comes from behind you and adrenaline surges through you like an electric shock. The Loki on the couch looks up at you and smirks before disappearing in a shimmer of green.

You wonder if it’s possible to die of embarrassment and a heart attack all at the same time. It certainly feels like you’re about to.

You take a deep breath and try to collect yourself, which feels largely futile. Come on, get it together. You’ve negotiated with terrorists and insurance companies. Shake it off.

You slowly turn around, cheeks burning. Loki is standing right behind you, arms folded across his chest. You swallow.

“I um. I was—I was just…” Words escape you as your brain fires in every direction except a helpful one.

“You were just what?” His expression is intense, but you’re not sure that he’s angry.

“Spacing out,” you say, trying to infuse your voice with confidence that you absolutely do not feel.

He places his hands on the counter behind you, intentionally caging you in with his body. You are overwhelmed by the scent of him—a masculine, wintery musk that makes you want to bury your face against his chest.

“Try again,” he says. His voice is deep enough to rattle your bones.

You swallow. Everything you could possibly say seems wildly inadequate.

Loki has never been one to be at a loss for words, though, and after a moment of terrified silence from you, he continues speaking.

“I’ve noticed something curious over these past few weeks,” he says. “When I wear this sweater, you can’t seem to take your eyes off of me.”

Your heart is pounding. Fucking hell. Have you really been that obvious?

“Now why is that?” he asks, his voice a low purr.

You briefly consider trying to lie again, but the piercing green of his eyes instantly makes you rethink it. “I um…” You swallow hard. “It’s just…it suits you. You…you look good.”

He raises an eyebrow. “I look good?”

You nod.

“Interesting.” His lips twitch in a slight smirk as he looks you up and down. “And how does that make you feel?”

Your heart thuds in your chest, your stomach contorting with a strange combination of fear and desire. You’re still humiliated, but the sound of his voice and the dark intensity of his gaze is intoxicating and incredibly arousing.

“I don’t—I don’t know how to answer that question.”

“Oh, I think you do.” There’s a rawness in his voice that makes your cunt clench.

You shake your head, eyes wide. You’re pretty sure he’s not really mad, but you also don't know where this is going. Surely he’s not making a pass at you…right?

“How does it make you feel to see me in this sweater?” he continues, his voice a low whisper. He pauses for a moment and when you don’t answer, he continues. “Does it…arouse you, perhaps?”

Holy fuck.

This can’t be happening.

You try to think of something clever or sexy, but the bluntness of the question and the fire in his eyes kills whatever remaining brain cells you have left. Mutely, you nod.

There’s that smirk again as he licks his lips. “Are you wet right now?”

Your cheeks burn. You give the tiniest nod possible.

“Hmm.” His hand alights on the button of your jeans. “I believe you Midgardians have a saying that is appropriate here: trust, but verify.” He slips the button free and your heart pounds like a war drum in your chest. 

You cannot believe this is happening.

“You haven’t been entirely truthful in this conversation.” His palm presses flat against your stomach, the tips of his fingers slipping under the waistband of your underwear. “So I’m afraid I’m going to have to see for myself.”

His hand is achingly slow, creeping lower and lower. He watches you intently as his hand cups your sex, seemingly cataloging the way your breath hitches and all the little shivers that run through you.

His middle finger finally slides between your folds and you can’t help but moan.

“Oh, you did lie to me,” he growls, his index finger joining his middle, both sliding up to circle your clit. “You’re not wet, you’re soaked.”

Your legs are already starting to tremble and you grab on to his shoulders to try and steady yourself. The fabric of the sweater is softer than a cloud against your hands.

“Sopping wet,” he continues, trapping your right leg between his thighs and the counter, the heavy weight of his erection pressing eagerly against your hip. “And this is all for me?”

Wordlessly, you nod. There’s no point in denying it—and you don’t think he wants you to, either.

“What am I going to do about this?” he muses. His index and middle fingers lightly circle your clit again and you whimper.

��Don’t stop,” you gasp. “Please don’t stop.”

“Don’t stop?” he says. His tone is one of light curiosity, like you’re just chatting casually about the weather. “But if I continue, you’re almost certainly going to come.”

“Yes,” you gasp. “Please.”

“Oh, you want me to make you come?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. “Right here in the middle of the kitchen?”

You nod.

“Anyone could walk in, though,” he purrs. “Anyone could come in and see me with my fingers buried in your dripping cunt. What would they think if they saw you so utterly debauched and at my mercy, begging for me to make you come?”

“Don’t care…” you gasp. How are you already so close?

He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t care what they’d think if they saw us like this?”

You shake your head.

“Oh, you must be desperate.” He adjusts his hand, his thumb taking up the rhythm on your clit while his index finger sinks into your slick channel, making you gasp.

“Loki, please—”

“Begging already,” he says, not letting up in his rhythm. “Has it been a long time, sweetheart? When did you last feel this good?”

It’s not a question you can answer. You don’t know that anyone ever has made you feel like this. You moan, your hips bucking hard against his hand.

“Poor thing,” he tuts. “You’re clearly desperate for it. What kinds of filthy thoughts have you had about me?” he purrs. “I’ve seen you staring, I’ve heard your breath hitch. Have you touched yourself while thinking of me?”

You manage a nod and his smile turns feral. “When was the last time?”

“Last…last night,” you gasp.

“How many times did you come?”

“F-Four.”

“Filthy girl.” His free hand slides up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tips your head back. “Next time, all you have to do is ask.”

His mouth covers yours, his tongue pushing past your lips as he slides a second finger into you. You moan into his mouth as the pressure in your hips increases.

“Oh yes, let me hear all of those pretty noises,” he murmurs. “Are you going to let me fuck you against the counter after I make you come?”

You nod, whimpering.

“Good girl,” he purrs. “I think you need to be fucked properly and hard. Is that what you need?”

“Yes,” you gasp.

“Mmm, that’s what I thought. This cunt is just too wet and needy for any other treatment.” He draws back to look at you more fully, giving you a lazy, hungry smile. “You’re about to lose it all over my fingers, aren’t you?”

Your orgasm is cresting, the tingling pressure in your hips becoming unbearable. You nod, lost for words.

With one more smirk, he curls his fingers inside of you. “Come for me, pretty girl, let me see you.”

Your cunt spasms around his thrusting fingers and your whole body shudders as your orgasm overtakes you, your head tipping back as you cry out.

“Oh, that’s it,” he murmurs, “there’s my good girl.”

A shiver runs through you at his words, your hips still moving against his hand, trying to draw out every last ripple of pleasure.

He kisses you as you come down from your high, and you take the opportunity to run your hands over his chest and tentatively feel the hard planes of muscle that you’ve been staring at these last few weeks. But after a few moments, he takes your hand and guides it to his cock.

His preference for leather pants or those sinfully tight dark wash jeans made you suspect that the size of his ego might actually be proportionate to the size of his cock and your initial assessment seems to confirm that theory. You rub your fingers over the denim that covers his thick shaft, feeling yourself grow even wetter at the low groan he makes in the back of his throat.

“Take my cock out.” His voice is so deep and his eyes are so smoldering, it feels like the command goes straight to your cunt. You are practically trembling with anticipation as your shaking hands  make quick work of the button, buckle, and zipper.

You can’t help but suck in a breath when his cock comes into view. He’s long and deliciously thick—big enough to be a little intimidating, but not overwhelmingly so.

He guides your hand to wrap around his shaft. He barely fits in your hand. “Look at what you’ve done to me,” he says, his voice raspy as he guides your hand to stroke his cock. “Feel how hard I am for you, feel how much I want you.”

His cock practically pulses with need, the tip slick with pre-come and you grasp him more firmly, your cunt pulsing as he gives a deeply satisfying groan.

You stroke him from base to tip, squeezing lightly. He groans again. “They told me to stay away from you, you know,” he says.

You aren’t so far gone that you can let this information slip by. “What? Who?”

“Stark. Rogers. Romanoff. My brother.” He reaches behind you and shoves the fruit and cutting board into the side, the knife clattering into the sink. “They saw how I looked at you,” he says. “They saw that I wanted you. They told me you were too good for me. Too sweet.”

You feel your jeans and underwear melt away in a shimmer of green and he lifts you easily onto the counter.

His eyes flash with desire. “I wonder what they’d say if they knew you’d let me fuck you raw in the middle of the kitchen?”

For a brief moment, frustration almost wins out over your lust. “We could have done this sooner?”

His gaze turns serious. “Darling, we could have done this the moment we met, but I’m told a handshake is more appropriate.”

You take a breath, about to embark on a rant about the individuals he’d named and how they hadn’t even asked, they’d just assumed, but Loki puts a hand up against your mouth.

“Don’t make me wait any longer,” he says. There’s a sincerity and a need in his gaze that you’ve never seen before and it’s enough to calm your anger for just a moment.

“Okay,” you say, wrapping your legs around his waist and angling your hips toward his, “but clear your schedule because I’m gonna need you to fuck me a lot to make up for all that time.”

His grin is feral as he pushes into you.

You shiver at the blunt stretch of his cock, your hands gripping his broad shoulders. He indulges in a low groan as his hips press flush against yours.

“If I’d known they were keeping me from this tight cunt, I would’ve done something sooner,” he rasps. “You feel absolutely perfect.”

“Please,” you breathe, “I need—please.”

His hips snap hard against yours and you moan, your head tipping back.

His eyes glitter as he pulls you close, pressing his mouth against your ear. “The next time I have you, I will be sweet and soft.”

“And this time?” you ask, though you think you already know the answer.

“This time—” His mouth presses against the curve of your neck, teeth scraping just this side of too hard against the tender skin. “—I’m going to utterly ruin you.”

His pace is fast and rough—the word possessive comes to mind. You twist the luxurious fabric of his sweater in your hands as his cock hits that sweet, aching spot inside of you, pressing against your sensitive cunt in a way that makes your muscles spasm and clench around him. You moan, a shiver rolling through you as you inch closer to release.

“I’m…fuck, I’m getting close,” you gasp.

His pace abruptly slows and his grin is wide and his eyes are dancing with mirth when he raises his head from your shoulder.

“That was unnecessary,” you say with a scowl.

“Oh, I just want to savor you for a little longer, my love,” he purrs as he settles into an easy and slow pace that still makes your toes curl. “You’re going to take me right over the edge with you and I’ve waited so terribly long to have you.”

“I feel like you’re probably omitting the fact that you like being a tease,” you say.

He grins again, increasing his pace ever so slightly. “Both things can be true.”

He does this a few times—taking up a wicked pace that almost sends you hurtling over the edge, only to slow at the last possible moment, silencing your whimpering protests with a deep and slow kiss that is good enough to make you forgive him until a few minutes later when he does it all over again.

You hold out for as long as you can, but eventually, the ache in your hips overwhelms you.

“Loki,” you breathe when his pace again begins to increase. “Please don’t stop.”

“Don’t stop?” he rasps, somehow finding the concentration to raise an eyebrow. “You’re quite sure?”

You nod.

“You want to come all over my cock?”

Speech is slightly beyond you at this point, but you manage to gasp a desperate plea as you hurtle into the final plateau, right before the fall.

Loki regards you with that same playful look as he fucks you. You wait, unsure of what he’s going to do, your body desperately crying out for your release.

His lips curl into a smile. “Come for me, sweet thing.”

At the sound of his voice, every one of your muscles is tensing and releasing, the slick walls of your cunt clamping down hard on the thick girth of his cock as you shudder and moan.

The remnants of Loki’s composure are fraying, his eyes closed and his jaw slack as he chases his own end. His brow furrows and he throws his head back, letting out a low groan as he comes and you think it might be the best sound you’ve ever heard.

You sag against him as you both come down from your respective highs, his heart beating hard under the soft fabric of his sweater. He reaches for your face, tilting your head back so he can kiss you, impossibly slow and soft.

You’re in the middle of the kitchen. You understand this. In a wholly rational world, you would be quick to hop off the counter, quick to try and negotiate the return of your jeans from whatever pocket dimension he’s sent them to.

Instead, you find yourself wanting to stay in this moment, with his arms wrapped around you, his cock still pulsing inside you as he kisses you breathless.

You count to ten, then twenty. At forty, you draw back slightly, only to have him pull you back into the kiss.

It’s somewhere after one hundred when he trails his lips to your neck and you manage to say what you intended: “We should probably…” you trail off as he sucks at your pulse point, sending a shiver down your spine.

“We should probably what?” he murmurs against your neck, before tracing a lazy figure eight with the tip of his tongue.

It takes you a moment to find that sentence. “Get dressed and such.”

You feel the sharp press of his smile against your skin. “I think not.”

Before you can open your mouth to say anything, the kitchen is fading in a shimmer of green to an unfamiliar bedroom and the two of you tumble into a bed draped in green silk.

“I’d like to stay like this for a while,” he says, a smile playing at his lips as he slowly rolls his hips against you, somehow still impossibly hard. “In fact, I think I need to have you again.”

“I can live with that,” you say. You tug at the fabric of his sweater. “But this is going to have to go.”

His gaze is smoldering and his bare skin is suddenly pressed against yours as the sweater and the rest of your clothes disappear in that familiar shimmer of green.

“Will you like me as much without it?” he asks, rolling his hips against you.

You drag your fingernails up along the firm muscles of his back. “I think I’ll manage.”

“Good,” he says, leaning in to kiss you, “because as I understand it, we have quite a lot of time to make up for.”

[helen-with-an-a]

SFW alphabet

Hi hi hi. So here is a SFW alphabet head canon for the Beautiful Girl universe. I really enjoyed this - it was a lot of fun to come up with. I used a template used by @barcaatthemoon if you want to see her ones.

Beautiful Girl masterlist

Affection

Ale and Amor are the most affectionate people in the world. Amor is pretty tactile with most of her friends (especially Ingrid and Frido - they are like sisters from other misters) but with Ale it is next level. Amor has found that Ale really likes scratches (back or head but anywhere really) and Ale likes to trace Amor’s features and stuff, it’s really cute

Best Friend

Amor has tried to make it so that Ale and her have separate friendship groups within the team, and they have succeeded for the most part - Amor hangs out with Ingrid, Frido, Aitana, Esmee and Mapí whilst Ale hangs about with Irene and Marta (or “the grandmas” as Vicky and Martina have christened them). Amor wouldn’t verbally say it but Ale is definitely her best friend as well as her girlfriend, and it’s the same with Ale. But they do recognise that that’s not necessarily the healthiest, but they just can’t help it

Cuddles

They are cuddlers to the extreme. If Mapí thought there double movie date nights were bad, she should see them when they’re actually alone! It varies (usually depending on what Ale needs at the time) but Ale is usually the little spoon. Their fav cuddle position is Amor on her back and Ale with her head on Amor’s chest and Amor has a hand on Ale’s hair - Ale’s weight really helps Amor relax (a bit like a heated weighted blanket) and Amor’s fingers are magical at helping Ale destress

Domestic

Omg on off days they are so domestic. Literally their version of a good off day is waking up whenever (no alarms on off days - that’s very sacred to Amor and Ale will do whatever to make Amor happy) and then having a nice ole cuddle before going down for breakfast and really taking their time over it, then they do a joint-tidy of the house before going to get ready to go out for a lunch somewhere (either just as a date or to catch up with friends etc) then coming home mid-afternoon and either just crashing on the couch or some afternoon sex and then crashing in bed (mood dependent)

Emotions

Amor said I love you first but Ale felt it first. Ale was in love with Amor before they officially got together but definitely felt it by the champions league final. Amor fell slowly and then really quickly - it was happening a little more every day (especially when they were at home and Amor got to see the real Ale) but after the UWCL final and she got to witness Ale win her first champions league title, she was just like yup I’m in love. Amor told Ale she loved her just before they got the photo with the trophy and she barely finished the sentence before Ale was kissing her (and that’s when the photo they used to hard launch was taken). Ale said it back immediately afterwards and now it’s one of the best days in Ale’s life for so many reasons

Fiancé

They mutually agreed to propose to each other. They both would get down on one knee and they would both be asked. Amor did it first - they were in bed and she just couldn’t help it, she popped the question whilst Ale had her head on her chest and it was very much just like “what would you do if I asked you to marry me right now?” And Ale was like “obvs I’d say yes” so when Ale got up to go to the bathroom Amor whipped out the ring and had it ready to go when Ale came back. Ale proposed a few weeks later and it was on the roof of their building watching the sunrise and it was a really pretty one and Ale just held up the box and was like “will you marry me?” And Amor cried (which she really wasn’t expecting to do because Ale already said yes to her). They proposed around 3 years of being together and then got married fairly quickly cos of the off season and stuff and it was small but really romantic and very well planned (really aesthetic too)

Gentle

Amor is the gentlest soul on the planet. She will do anything to make sure everyone is smiling whenever she’s around. She’s just so in tune with Ale’s emotions it’s on a totally different level - she knows exactly what Ale wants and needs before Ale does herself. Behind the tough Capitana persona, Ale is truly a sweetheart and it shows whenever Amor is around. Ale is just so careful and sweet towards Amor and makes sure she wants for nothing

Hugs

Ale swears on her mother, that Amor’s hugs are magical. No doubt in her mind. If she’s having a bad day, all she needs if a hug from Amor and everything is better. Amor just loves to hug and be hugged by Ale. Ale’s arms are Amor’s safe place and everything is right in the world if Amor can have an Ale hug

Intimacy

Amor was the first person to introduce Ale to casual/non-sexual intimacy. Ale’s previous partner’s had never really done it with her but Amor is very much down for a romantic bath or shower or massage without the intention of sex/sex being the end goal. It took Ale a minute to get used to it but now she loves when Amor washes and dries her hair for her or gives her a nice little massage on her legs/back and then lots of back scratches whilst cuddling before bed

Jealousy

Neither of them get too jealous. They are very secure in their relationship but usually “jealousy” comes out when other people aren’t getting the hint or aren’t taking no for an answer. Usually it involves the other coming up to them and just kissing them straight up, then a little “oh, who’s your friend?” Or “hi sorry, I’m Ale’s/Amor’s girlfriend/fiance/wife, who are you?”

Kisses

Alexia needs Amor’s kisses to be a functioning human. No kisses = bad time for the team. And Amor needs Alexia’s kisses just as badly. Amor is such a fan of kissing Ale’s neck/collarbone when she’s hugging Ale and Ale always gives Amor a sweet forehead/top-of-the-head kiss. (Amor also likes to affectionately chomp sometimes too)

Little Ones

Ale interacting with children has anyone weak at the knees, but it honestly makes Amor’s heart stop and her ovaries explode. Whenever Ale sees Amor chat to a kid, she swear she falls more in love with her. Neither of them really considered kids in the future but seeing each other interact with the little fans has set the baby fever raging

Morning

Ale thought she was a morning person, and then she met Amor. She no longer wants to do anything in the morning that would drag her out of bed and away from Amor. Amor is a little less intense over her morning cuddles, but she’s very much the same, if she can rearrange or schedule stuff until the afternoon (or at least mid-/late- morning) she will. She needs her Ale cuddles

Night

Their night routines are pretty similar from when they were single. They usually come home from training, have a shower and whatnot then lounge about on the couch - either doing some tactical work or just binging a show depending on if anything needs to be done - and then they make dinner together (although most of the time Ale just sits on the counter chatting to Amor whilst Amor cooks for them) and then they eat and Ale does the dishes whilst Amor sits on the counter and then they hop into bed before flicking on their show and snuggling down for the night

Open

Some people would say that Amor hides things, but she really doesn’t. This relationship is the first time she’s had someone actually want to know everything about her (not just the superficial stuff) so she kind of forgets what kind of things you would tell people in a relationship. Amor has definitely gotten better at it, but she still sometimes comes out with things that Ale has never heard before. Ale is a complete open book to Amor. Ale just felt so safe and at ease with Amor, even from the first day they met, she was spilling everything from the get-go really. It doesn’t annoy Ale that Amor doesn’t really say much until it’s “exposed” by accident. Ale is well aware of Amor’s past relationships and experiences that have left her with some pretty tough feelings to work through, and Ale has promised she will be there every step of the way

Patience

Amor is the queen of patience. It stems from growing up in a very busy household and having a pretty large friendship group whilst being naturally quite a reserved and quiet person. Ale is pretty patient too (Eli made sure she was raising a good person that wasn’t quick to anger). They are big proponents of arguments doesn’t mean shouting and you can argue without being nasty or making it personal.

Quizzes

Both Ale and Amlr have memories like elephants. It kind of creeps the team out sometimes when they’ll come up to them and ask about how that appointment was that they mentioned one time in passing a few months ago. But they are both fantastic listeners and great at giving really tailored advice. They’re also really good at getting presents for people (even if they’ve only met the person once or twice)

Remember

Amor’s favourite moment in their relationship was definitely reuniting after the 2023 World Cup. They literally refused to let go of each other and spent the whole night just soaking up each others presence (they didn’t even have sex until the day after and Amor spent the whole day “working on her Spanish” and it really got Ale worked up and they broke Amor’s record of ‘how fast can Ale cum’). Ale’s favourite moment in their relationship is the few seconds after Ale kissed Amor for the first time. Ale pulled away and hand her hands cupping Amor’s cheeks and Amor just stood there with a small gentle smile and her eyes closed and a little blush and Ale was just like, this … this is what life is for.

Security

They are both equally as protective of each other. It’s more effective for Ale cos she’s La Reina and has a very good mean stare if the opposition is getting a little too close to Amor. Amor’s protectiveness comes out if she thinks Ale is injured or sick in anyway. She literally becomes like a chihuahua or something, small and loud and protective. Even though Amor is the gentlest person on the planet, she has a very good mean stare she can whip out when needed

Try

Ale will but 1000% effort into anything that has to do with Amor. Date nights re planned to the moment, anniversary’s are organised with military precision, gifts are thought of and executed flawlessly. If Amor is involved (even in the weirdest most convoluted way), Ale will give maximum effort. Amor is exactly the same, it just looks a little different. Amor isn’t as severe with her planning and is very flexible with things but she puts just as much effort into it as Ale does

Ugly

Amor hates it when Ale leaves her clothes next to the laundry basket and not in it. It drives Amor insane. Similarly, Ale hates when Amor doesn’t put her used coffee/tea/hot chocolate mugs in the sink/dishwasher. She swears she wants to scream sometimes. But at the end of the day, they really aren’t that deep, and they can tell the other is trying to stop the “bad habits”

Vanity

Neither of them are too pressed about their looks but they want to look nice if that makes sense. They have their sacred monthly self-care high-maintenance-to-be-low -maintenance nights and they definitely but pride in their appearances whenever they do go out. Ale loves it when Amor picks her outfits for her and they try to be cohesive (not matching necessarily) for events and things. Match day fits are such a fun thing for them to do and they plan their home day fits perfectly

Whole

Ale definitely has an Amor-sized hole whenever they’re apart and Amor feels like a limb is missing if they’re separated for whatever reason. National camps definitely aren’t fun but they’re usually so busy that they don’t have time to miss each other too much. But tournaments where there’s a lot more down time, it’s torture for each other - to know that they’re in the same town/region but can’t see each other and have a lot of free time but they usually don’t align very well so they can’t even sneak away on an off day. It’s just painful for them (and their teams)

Xtra

Amor has a locket with a picture of Ale and her in it that she only wears to national camps. Ale has a box of things that Amor has given her over the years that she will periodically take out and reminisce over

Yuck

Amor really hates tomatoes. It really complicates things for catering purposes. Ale has a strong dislike of mayonnaise.

Zzzz

Both Amor and Ale are in bed by 9.30/10 most nights. They’re labelled the grannies of the team cos they go to bed so early. When Amor was in Germany she was even worse and usually in bed by 8/830 but Spanish people don’t eat early enough for that so she’s had to learn to adapt. Although if she’s home and Ale isn’t, she’s definitely in bed by 8 pm

[outsideratheart]

Queen of what now? (Mary Earps x reader)

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long. I hope you guys like it! Also, I’m going through a big Mary Earps phase right now so this was very fun to right.

Were you there to support friends, accompany a team mate or to see someone who has been on your mind for the last 104 days? You knew it was the latter but if someone one were to ask you would say a mixture of the first and second.  

“I can’t believe you came with me. You have to be back in Barcelona tomorrow” Jana asks as you leave the hotel. 

What she said was true. You picked up a calf injury during the El Classico which made you unavailable for the international break. It did mean that you could go to England but only for the night. 

“It’s Wembley and I’m here to support Keira and Lucy” was it a lie? No. Was it the whole truth? Absolutely not. 

“If that’s true why aren’t you wearing one of their shirts?” 

The shirt you chose to wear, the England one, wasn’t on show but Jana saw you put it on before leaving the hotel. Now she was digging but you didn’t bite. 

“Because I didn’t swap shirts with them” 

Your answer seems to please the young defender because she didn’t continue her interrogation. Instead the conversation steered towards the game and how it would end. Jana, here to support Jill, favourited the Dutch but you knew the difference a home crowd could make and when you put those fans in Wembley stadium, England become a different team. You also have the upmost faith in the woman between the sticks, the same one that would captain the team. 

You walk down Wembley way, taking in the atmosphere and stopping for as many fans as you can. 

“You quite popular for someone who beat England in the final” Jana remarks. 

“I’m still not used to it and I can’t say I’m a big fan of the attention” 

Your performance throughout the season with Barcelona and during the summer at the World Cup earned you the most coveted trophy in football: The Balón d’Or. Since then you had been exposed to a spotlight, one which wasn’t always welcome. 

It was cold in England, in fact to your Spanish blood it was freezing. The moment you entered the stadium you got a hot chocolate and went to your seat. When Mary joked about you coming to game she told you that she would put some tickets aside for the family section but when Leah saw that you were at Wembley she invited you to watch the game from one of the boxes with her and Millie. 

You didn’t really know the defender well but you appreciated the invite. The first half was less than great so not a lot was said. You could tell the two blondes were getting stressed but Jana was loving it. 

The moment the ball crossed the line for the second goal you knew Mary would punish herself for it. 

“Mantén la calma” you wish she could hear you. 

“Oh Mary, keep your head up” Leah says from beside you. 

“She will blame herself” you add. 

“She is. I know that because she’s my team mate. How exactly do you know what she’s thinking?”

“A guess” 

The look the Arsenal player gives you lets you know she doesn’t believe you but the whistle is blown for half time before she can question you further. 

The people is the room seem to split up for the half time break. You stick with Jana who is obviously having more fun than the rest of the box. 

“Dial down the celebrations J, we are in an England box” you whisper to her during half time. 

“Jill’s winning though” Jana says innocently. 

“Maybe save your celebrations until after the game when you are with her” you raise your eyebrows playfully. 

“Fine” she agrees to keep her cheering to a minimum not that it makes a difference because the second half is in England’s favour. 

You can’t believe what you are seeing. First Georgia Stanway scores then Lauren Hemp scores two minutes later. As a football fan you were taking it all in. 71,000 people were on their feet as they celebrate the possibly of a come back. 

When Ella Toone scores in the 91st minute you can feel the stadium shaking. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

The whistle blows and you see the blonde beside you breathe a sigh of relief. 

“That was quite the performance by your team Leah” it was a compliment but in a professional way. 

“It was. I take it you are here to see Lucy and Keira?” Leah asks.

“No, ella no es” Jana says from your side. 

“Cállate” you shake your head whilst being thankful that Leah didn’t speak Spanish. 

“The girls, as well as some of the Dutch team,” Leah looks at Jana as she says that part “are going to a bar called Three Lions. I’m not sure if you have plans but I will let the security know to expect you” 

“Gracias Leah. I have something I need to do but I’ll come” 

“Me too” Jana also accepts the invite before turning to you once Leah has gone “Jill already invited me. What do you have to do? Nobody knows you are in London” 

“Somebody does and I want to see her before anyone else. If anyone asks just tell them I had a call” 

And that is what is what Jana does. By the time everyone arrived to the Three Lions bar news has spread that you attended the game. You, as planned, texted a certain goalkeeper and asked her to meet you at a different part of the stadium. Her reply wasn’t words, it was a thumbs up to your message. 

The way she walked towards you told you everything you needed to know. Her gaze was on the floor with her shoulders hunched. 

Much to your surprise Mary is the first to talk. 

“I can’t believe you came” she stands less than a meter in front of you but doesn’t move closer. You may have been talking every day but you hadn’t seen her in person since the final and you desperately wanted to hug her.

“You asked me to” 

“I did but you weren’t sat in the seats I sent you tickets for and you’re injured so I thought that maybe you had to stay in Barcelona” 

“People saw me and it became a bit much so Leah invited me to watch the game with her in the box” 

“Does she know —“

“No. She assumed I was here to watch Lucy and Keira. I didn’t correct her” 

Here’s the thing. Nobody knew about you and Mary. The reason why things were so good between you was because there was no pressure to label it, no interference from your friends and no need to force anything. 

You saw the way her face dropped and you knew her well enough to know the reason why. 

“I’m wearing your shirt” you un tie your coat and pull your hoodie down revealing the green England shirt “they may think I’m here for my team mates but I’m here for you Mary” 

“You picked a bad game to come and watch” 

“Mary—“

“Don’t. Don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault” 

“I wasn’t going to. I know better than to tell someone how to feel after a game” you grab her hand a pull her towards some seating where you pull her down next to you “What I was going to say is that moments like that are a tough pill to swallow but it was a mistake and the best players in the world make them” 

“I let the team and the fans down. I let my family and you down” 

You hated seeing Mary this distraught. She was normally so full of energy and confident. This wasn’t a side you were familiar with. 

“You didn’t. There are people in that room over there” you point the bar behind you “that are proud of you and as for me, well you could never let me down Mary. I swear to you” 

Mary couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face. In a moment when she was down, you managed to lift her up. When she feels you reassuringly rub her thigh she leans onto your shoulder. 

“You’re quite a big deal here Mary. I saw young girls wearing your shirt and many people wearing scarfs with your face on. I didn’t know you had a nickname” you took a pause as you try to remember what the green scarfs said. 

Mary sees you struggling to remember the fan given nickname so she helps you out. 

“Mary Queen of stops” her mumble is barely audible. 

“Queen of what?” You didn’t hear her. 

“Stops. The fans call me Mary Queen of stops” 

You only hum in response. Maybe you knew what the fans called her but she needed to hear it too. If for no other reason than to reinstate some confidence. 

When Mary stands she holds her hands out to help you up. You walk side by side but she stops before you get the door, far enough that you both are still out of side but close enough that her nerves are building.

“Will you take this off?” The keeper tugged at the drawstring on your hoodie.

“But it’s cold, no?” 

Mary felt ridiculous for suggesting it yet she didn’t want to give you her reason. As embarrassment flushed her cheeks, Mary’s gaze found every part of the room that wasn’t your face.

“It’s stupid, forget I said anything” 

She doesn’t wait for you to respond and instead walks towards the bar. She assumes that you are right behind her but it is only when she opens the door for you does she realise that you haven’t moved.

“Y/N”

“Mary” with you stood rooted in place it leaves mary with no option other than to return to where she was mere seconds ago “Are you cold? Is that why you want me to take it off. Here, you can have it” without further question you give Mary the hoodie.

“I’m not cold. I want them to see you in my shirt. I want them to know that you came here to support me and that you still do”

“They will have questions”

“Let them ask, It doesn’t mean we have to answer them” Once again Mary leads you to the door put again she stops “Can I wear this?” She holds up your hoodie that she is still carrying.

You nod your head and the smile that appears on her face must be infectious because you are soon grinning ear to ear.

When you enter the bar you try your hardest not to attract any attention but Mary’s absence seems to have worried her team mates and her family because she is pulled away from you. 

You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to stand by yourself so you search for the three women who you actually know. Lucky for you the three of them are together with the addition of Jill, Beth and Viv.

“Nice shirt” Lucy nudges you.

“Was it a gift from our keeper or—“

“We swapped” you saw no harm and you hoped that telling the little truths might get you out of revealing the big ones.

You wasn’t really involved in the conversation taking place between the English and the Dutch. Something that Jana was quick to pick up on. You watched Mary from a distance as her parents pulled her into their arms, something you desperately wanted to do earlier. 

“Go see her. It’s why you’re here” Jana detaches herself from Jill’s hip to talk to you. 

“She’s with her family” you say just loud enough for the young defender to hear you. Whilst doing so you turn around so it isn’t obvious that the goalkeeper is the only person you are interested in. 

“She is but she is looking at you, oh she want your attention” 

Jana was telling the truth because when you turn back around Mary is calling you over. You shake your head, now wasn’t the time for her to introduce you to her parents. Mary on the other hand thought differently because before you can run away she is walking towards you, grabbing your hand and leaving you with no choice other than to follow her. 

“Mary, no”

“Y/N, yes” 

You suddenly felt nervous. Not necessarily for meeting her mum and dad but to find out how she would introduce you. It wasn’t a conversation you have had yet and you weren’t ready to hear that she didn’t feel the same way as you or even worse she felt nothing at all. 

“Mum, dad. This is Y/N, she is—“ 

“The woman that you won’t shut up about” 

Mary cheeks flushed red but she didn’t deny it, in fact she confirmed it. 

“It is, she is. She is also the reason why I was late” 

Her parent give you both a look, one which isn’t warranted. It does let you both know that they think something else happened and that is the reason for you both arriving later than everyone else. 

“We were talking” you were quick to correct their thoughts. 

“She calmed me down” Mary slightly squeezes your hand as a thank you. 

“Well Y/N, we know how hard on herself Mary is so thank you being there. As her parents it makes us very happy to know that she does let someone in and listens to them”

The woman in question simply listens to what her parents were telling you. Is that really what she had done? Had she let you in without realising? 

“She is a good person and she needs to learn that she cannot blame herself for what happens on the pitch” at this point you turn to Mary “We play a team sport. Win or lose, we do it as a team. She isn’t alone” 

You mean ever word you said. You spoke as a player who knew what Mary was feeling but the last part you said sincerely. As long as Mary wanted you around then she wouldn’t be alone, ever.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Mary asks.

“Porfa” 

You say goodbye to her parents and go to the emptiest spot at the bar. 

“I just met your parents” you cannot help but laugh a little.

“Was that ok? They wanted to meet you after I told them about you”

“What did you tell them?” You take a look around. You were surrounded by people, maybe a more private setting was best for the ‘what are we’ talk.

“That I met a girl in Australia. When I was at my lowest she showed up and got me to smile through my tears. Every day I look forward to talking to her, I wait for her texts and our FaceTimes are the best part of my day” 

You looked at Mary with a foreign feeling in your gut. You could compare it to butterflies but that didn’t seem like justice. When she moves forward to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear you don’t flinch. In fact you welcome to closeness.

“Carino, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to kiss you now” Mary’s tone is confident but the look on her face didn’t convey the same confidence.

“I won’t stop you but look around. People are —” The woman standing opposite knew exactly what you were going to say but she didn’t care. Her focus was on one thing; you. 

Everything with Mary has been new but the way she kissed you felt familiar, as if this wasn’t your first kiss. Your body was screaming for you to deepen the kiss, to strengthen the connection but you knew you would have to wait. Mary obviously faces the same conflict only she has given in to her desires. You have to push her away when you felt her tongue on your lips.

“Mary, we can’t do this here” 

“But I want to” 

She leans back in for more but only gets a peck on the lips.

“Cálmate” 

Mary felt frustrated but she really couldn’t complain. She had been dreaming of kissing you for months now and every scenario she came up failed in comparison to the real thing.

“Will you come back to the hotel tonight? We don’t have to share a room. You can stay with Keira or Lucy” 

“I have a very early flight in the morning Mary” you wished you could stay but you needed to go home and you could not miss your flight.

“I know but please, I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet”

“I don’t want to either but I can’t” Mary’s head dipped in disappointment and it wasn’t a sight that you liked “Maybe I could spend a few hours there and then go back to my hotel”

“You have yourself a deal” Mary was happy to compromise.

Later on you went back to the hotel where the England team was staying. As imagined you were subject to a lengthy interrogation by her team mates. You answered most questions and then played the ‘I don’t understand the English’ card when you didn’t want to answer certain ones. You barely left Mary’s side the entire night which only made your departure worse. She was adamant on walking you to your car and you didn’t fight her on it.

“Thank you for coming tonight” Mary says as she opens your door for you.

“I had fun” you absentmindedly run your finger of your lips as you mind wanders to the multiple kisses you and Mary had throughout the night “I have come to London, now it’s your turn to come Barcelona”

It wasn’t a bad deal. The sun was shining in Barcelona, whereas it hasn’t been seen for days in London. 

“I’ll be there as soon as my schedule allows it” Mary hated that she couldn’t just hop on a plane and come see you.

This was the hard part. You and Mary could find time to text, call and FaceTime but in person visits were difficult due to your schedule and the year the two of you had. You were only able to visit because of your injury and as much as you knew you would miss Mary, you didn’t want her schedule to become clear for the same reason.

“Until then we will make it work. We have done so far and look where it has lead us”

“I certainly didn’t think my night would end with me kissing you”

“It hasn’t”

Mary leaned forward and quickly stole a kiss.

“It has now”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her antics. 

“I need to go now”

“I know. Call me when you get back to your hotel” 

Once in the car, Mary watches you drive away. There is a pain in her chest as she already misses your company. You do end up FaceTiming her that night although it is different now. Seeing her face on the screen was nice but it didn’t compare to being with her in person. Still, you enjoyed your night with her and on the other end of the line Mary was already planning her trip to Barcelona. If the two of you have learnt one thing that night it was that you both wanted each other and you were willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

[hollycrowned]

cipherhunt log: some sunny day

It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?

On July 27th, I went to the Hillsboro Barnes & Noble signing event for The Book of Bill. I’ve decided to come back to this account at least for a moment to write a little bit about what it was like. At the end of this post, there’s some Cipher Hunt related news, so be sure to read all the way through.

The Q&A was a lot of fun. There was excitement in the air even before the event began, with eager fans wearing Dipper hats and flannel shirts hurrying to their seats. A few fans were in cosplay, too, which was heartwarming to see. While there were several kids with their parents in the audience, most of the fans there were younger adults—which really made it hit me that the series first aired over ten years ago.

By total accident I ended up next to the door Alex stepped through and caught his entrance:

Alex has the type of charm that can get anyone laughing, and his own laughter is contagious. I didn’t record much of the talk, wanting to simply experience it, but here’s a short video I took of him talking about how The Book of Bill came about:

Over the half hour, Alex talked about the the book itself, about the show, his characters, and about creating a television series. Fans, when the mic was turned over to the audience, said what they love most about the series and asked about intentionality and the possibility of crossovers (Alex’s immediate “yes” was a hit). Alex expressed after one question that while he never could have guessed that people would like Gravity Falls so much, he’s grateful for the enduring love fans have for the show.

The event coordinator, who schooled a few questions to Alex before mic was given over to the audience, asked what I think we all want to know: “What are you working on right now?” Alex gave the answer he’s given in the past: that as is typical in Hollywood, he can’t talk about the projects he’s currently involved in.

If you were around when I was active here, you might remember that by the time I left, my focus had become to follow Alex through his career. To recap: after Gravity Falls ended, Deadline reported in 2018 that Alex had signed a multi-year exclusive contract with Netflix. Not long after, Netflix announced the opening of its own animation studio, alongside a reel showcasing some of the artists they’d recruited. The reel highlighted that this group of artists included industry legends, young talent, and diverse voices; each artist in the reel talked how excited they were for what the studio itself meant the future of animation, and for the opportunity to work there. Alex was in this reel, too.

Although I’ve moved on to other fandoms and my own creative work, I’ve kept up with movements in the animation industry. If you have, too, you may know about the massive cuts and cancellations Netflix has made in the last several years, especially to its animation department. Alex has produced and consulted on a few projects at Netflix since his contract began—chief among them Inside Job, which was initially renewed by for a second season before Netflix reversed their decision six months later and cancelled the series altogether. Shion Takeuchi, the creator of Inside Job and previous writer on Gravity Falls, confirmed the cancellation, saying “I’m heartbroken.” Alex, in a reply, expressed the same, adding, “Grateful to have had the chance to help on one of my best friends shows, for however briefly”.

In the six years since Alex signed his contract with Netflix, there have been hints that he’s been working on a series with his name on the masthead. In late 2020, he tweeted about staffing his new show:

But if his project was among the cuts Netflix made a few years after that, he gave no sign of it in his answer.

It’s jarring, and saddening, to watch that reel from 2018 with the knowledge of what has happened since. Outside of Netflix, things seem just as dire, with the dragging of AI into animation giants like Disney and Dreamworks by their corporate executives—notably, as The Animation Guilds’ contract approached its expiration date. In 2023, Vulture published an article which included testimonies from four artists who worked on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse about the unsustainable working conditions at Sony while the film was in production. Over the last few years, Warner Bros has shelved two animated films and one hybrid for multimillion-dollar tax write-offs. In addition, their subsidiary HBO Max purged multiple animated series from its catalogue, denying the artists who worked on them access to their own works—and for some of them, residuals as well.

The final question at the Q&A was from a fan who said that they’re currently in school for animation. They asked Alex if he had any advice for new animators trying to break into the industry. Immediately, my mind went to all of that news I linked in the paragraphs above. I listened intently…

Alex’s response did not have hopelessness in it. He did talk, foremost and with humor, about how risky it is to pursue art as a career, especially at this moment—laughed, as he ended a sentence with, “Don’t go into the arts.” But he moved on from that, and gave an even more honest reply: hone your skills, put your work out there, and don’t give up. Be persistent, share what you make, make what you love. Make sure it’s easy for people to contact you, explore feelings through your work even when it’s uncomfortable, and show your work to others, even though it’s scary. Alex also remarked on creating itself being hard work, from the raw process to putting your art out there to taking criticism to learning from what didn’t work and applying it to your drafts and future projects. Hard work, challenging in more ways than one, on top of an unforgiving cultural moment, yes—but keep going. Keep creating.

Keep making art.

Then the Q&A ended, and the signing began. I found myself at the end of the line, but I didn’t mind; neither did anyone else waiting with me. In the moments when I wasn’t chatting with other fans, I thought about that last question and Alex’s response.

There is little that is easy about being an artist these days. I have come to know this by having friends who are artists, by following the careers and accounts of other artists, by reading the news, and—since becoming an artist myself—finding out firsthand. But I have come to know, just as well, that the best remedy for these ills is community. Whether you create art as a hobby or you have a career in the arts, whether your medium is collaborative or solitary in nature: in the face of intolerable working conditions, cutthroat corporations and corner-cutting clients, the advantages they take, the instability and uncertainty, and what all artists can relate to: the challenges of the creative process itself—it’s the support of your fellow artists that helps you survive. It helps art survive. A community that creates alongside you can give trusted critique, celebrate with you, stand up for you, introduce you to other artists you can learn from, and give what is necessary for so many of us to create at all: encouragement. A voice that says, keep creating. This gives to the world what is necessary for us all: more art.

If tech companies develop their AI by stealing from artists, if the c-suites who own the studios see artists as disposable, with the way freelancing can throw water on creative fire, if popular opinion increasingly trends toward art only having as much value as money it makes, then we must support each other. Helpful, practical advice given by a successful artist on how to succeed in the arts in this particular moment is a gem to anyone who is reaching for that goal. But invaluable and eternal is example; not just of success, but of how to be good to your fellow artists—and in turn, to yourself.

And I just think that’s how an artist ought to be.

As the line moved, and I got close enough to see the signing table across the room, I watched Alex greet the fans ahead of me. I found that he was as sweet to people as I always have heard he is, as I remember from watching the Periscopes he appeared in during Cipher Hunt: generous with his time, genuine, and good-natured. One fan skipped away from the table with their book, and a big smile on their face.

And then it was my turn.

When you meet him, he looks you in the eye. I always forget, until I shake someone else’s hand, how small my own hands are. I told him my name is Holly. He asked, “Spelled how it sounds?” I spelled it for him, reflexively, before I could fully process the question and simply say yes. I said lightheartedly that he must be extra happy to see us, being that we were at the end of the line—it was over three hours after the event had begun—and he said, “I’m sorry you all had to wait for this long.” While he was signing my copy, I asked if he was enjoying Portland—though what I really meant to ask was if he was happy to be back in the PNW, in the summertime. He said yes, he loves it here.

It all happened so fast, with me completely forgetting that I’d passed my phone to a kind father of some fans waiting near me in line, and I almost walked away without getting a picture with him. When you meet a celebrity crush from your younger years, it has you reckon with how the part of you who crushed back then has walked with you through time—in what ways who you were back then is still a part of who you are now, and who you want to be. And, of course, it gets your heart beating a little faster, too.

There was much more I wanted to ask him (this has never stopped being the case), but there were other fans waiting for their turn, and he had given his time to just shy of 150 people already. So I smiled at him, and said thank you, and moved along.

I am, and always will be, excited to see anything Alex makes. Hearing him talk about his art, and artistry, and being an artist, was beyond wonderful; not only young Holly’s wish come true, but inspiring for Holly, today—as an artist in my own right. In the years since I retired this account, as I’ve read all this news about the industry, I’ve often wondered how Alex has been. I am very happy and grateful I was lucky enough to get a ticket to the signing, and meet him.

And finally…the Cipher Hunt news.

First: the fan waiting in front of me in the signing line (I’m so sorry I didn’t get your name, but if you’re reading this, I hope you had a safe and smooth flight back home!) said she had been to Confusion Hill recently, and that Bill and the treasure box are still there. I haven’t been to Confusion Hill since I last went in 2017–before COVID—but I think about Bill and the treasure box all the time. It made me so happy to hear that fans are still visiting and exchanging treasures. I hope I get to go again, someday soon.

The second announcement: by chance, I happened to meet a fan who is working on a documentary about Cipher Hunt. I introduced myself and said I’d be more than happy to help out with the project! The creator, Keyan Carlile, can be found on both Twitter and YouTube. I hope you’ll follow along!

I met so many other lovely fans while waiting in line, as well. There is still so much affection and excitement for this series, and it was so nice to step back into the fandom, if only or a moment. If we spoke with each other: it was so nice to meet you! Maybe our paths will cross again, someday. And to everyone, all of the fans who were there, and all of you out there with The Book of Bill:

happy reading!! ∆

[cupcakesmoothie]

I did all three backstories for Touchstarved (I have 12 hours on this thing and it's only the demo)

Kuras and Vere don't seem to have red options, but Vere does have a secret ending and Kuras... I don't know, holds you for a bit longer?

For Mhin, it really is just picking The Alchemist backstory. You can call them short or whatever and you'll still get it.

For Leander, you have to take the flowers and keep touching him. It's okay if you hold back the first time even.

For Ais, you gotta tell him fuck you and pet the soulless, and after that red option pretty much all yours.

Differences I found between the three backstories:

It is pretty much like how they tell you, Oracle gets premonitions, Hound has experience with people and survival, and Alchemist has knowledge about magic and science, so there's different things you find out with each one.

The Alchemist:

I may be a little bit biased, but think The Alchemist is the most informative (It's also the first one I picked). There's the expected info of noticing that Vere's collar is enchanted, or knowing about how strong Leander really is when it comes to magic, but it's got the added bonus of MC's mentor having been in the Senobium in the past.

Compared to the others, The Alchemist is more familiar with Senobium, albeit through word of mouth. It's interesting how many times the MC says something similar to "I didn't know the Senobium did that." It calls into question whether MC's teacher was lying, or more interestingly (and what I think might be the case), the Senobium has changed a lot recently. It's talked about, even without the Alchemist backstory, that the Senobium used to be somewhere you could go to for help, but now most of the characters you meet do not like the Senobium, so what changed?

The Hound:

The Hound (the least popular option, apparently) was pretty fun. The Hound notices more about Ais, specifically that he's very suited to be a leader, and that the number of scars he has (one) seems suspicious for his temperament (or "how seasoned he acts", as the MC puts it).

One thing that I found very fun was doing Mhin's route as the Hound. They're somewhat able to keep up! They can (or tried to) recognize tells, and noted that Mhin was one of the few people who was able to sneak up on them. They also weren't sure how Vere managed to get their key. They were also prepared to steal to survive.

The Oracle:

While The Hound notices physical things, the Oracle notices... how do you say, otherworldly things. The Seaspring seems to be hiding a lot (of course it is), but the MC notices a heartbeat. A presence. They feel something from Ais. The name Ocudeus means something, they can feel it. They feel like they can see Ais' tattoo move.

Also, the MC feels something from Mhin and Kuras (in his clinic at least), which is interesting!

If I had to decide which love interest was better with which backstory...

Vere: The fact that the Alchemist thought that they could tell what enchantments were on his collar if only they could touch it feels promising! And both their connections (though I mean connection in the loosest term for MC here) to the Senobium makes it feel like you might very well find something.

The Hound might be one of the few who can actually survive this guy if I'm gonna be honest. (I mean you can still get killed by him but. You know.)

Ais: The Oracle's sixth sense makes going to the Seaspring a lot more interesting compared to the others, and the way they can feel something from Ais is very cool.

The Hound can tell his character better than the others, and I wonder how that will come into play later on.

Kuras: The Alchemist knows their way around spell-crafting and alchemy (When I picked this I wondered if they would be able to help Kuras around the clinic, which doesn't happen, but hey it might).

The Oracle seems to also feel something from him.

Mhin: First things first, their red option literally requires you to have the Alchemist backstory. Mhin's precision is noticed by the other MCs sure, but not to that detail.

Watching the Hound observe where they could be was so fun to watch. It feels like this MC will be able to keep up.

The Oracle feels something from Mhin, something inhuman.

Leander: The Alchemist was able to tell that the flash of magic was a barrier spell, and that most magic (or at least the ones they're familiar with) uses an incantation or spell circle. His didn't.

But either way, there will be things to find no matter the backstory you choose, and all of the character's stories are intertwined, so don't let this dissuade you from a specific backstory! There will always be things to find, you just need to look.

Extra: I found it pretty cool how each MC has a different way of knowing what a Groupmind is. Story-wise this makes sense of course, but each of their reactions to it are slightly different, from I heard this from rumours of people in cults (Hound), to I used to be told I could put people in a groupmind (Oracle), to legends suggest it was possible with a strong enough catalyst but it's never been done before (Alchemist).

Also, it's interesting to know what they each think of surroundings (specifically the Amaryllis district). They all have different opinions from I used to be told bizarre things about this place and now I kinda get it (Alchemist), to it's not that different from the place I grew up in (Hound), to it's VERY different from where I grew up in (Oracle).

And if I'm not mistaken, the reason Vere gives for your desperation is different for all of them!

You can find gameplay from me on my Youtube channel, or watch me getting all the red options and secret ending here:

I didn't read it out loud cause my mic sorta sucks and sometimes it peaks and gets a bit shrill. Also you see how my mouse moves sometimes? It means I'm screaming. I don't think I'd have been able to keep calm enough for this. Also my reading kinda sucks anyway hope you like it lol

[monophobix]

INITIAL THOUGHTS ON ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT 1 (EPISODES 1-3)

(i’m not good at putting my thoughts into words so feel free to give your own opinions, i rlly wanna hear them)

SPOILERS AHEAD///

ok so my biggest critique is the pacing. everything is very quick very fast and a lot is going on. i understand that this is immediately after a large event which of course caused a reaction however it was just very intense and a lot to keep up with especially considering the amount of new and confusing things introduced throughout the three episodes with minimal slow down. it was alittle difficult to keep up. the timeline of the show is confusing and i have no idea how long it has been between scenes. viktor was barely in that weird healing chamber for a few scenes before he was emerging as someone new. caitlyn and vi were going from loving to fighting to understanding to fighting again very quickly with little time to develop independently, their kiss and divorce weren’t even 30 minutes apart from each other. also, who the fuck is this kid hanging around with jinx?? why is she following her, why doesn’t she talk, what’s her name, how long has she been with her?? this lack of time to let things develop has caused these episodes to feel rushed.

with this introduction of many new things some have left me with a lot of questions. my biggest issue revolves around the arcane. i literally do not recall it being mentioned or being an important topic in s1 but all of a sudden jayce knows a fuck ton about it as well as heimerdinger? when did he learn this? i assume it’s from viktors notes and research but that still fails to cover the amount of knowledge jayce now possesses.

HOWEVER THE ARCANE IS VERY COOL AND IM VERY VERY INVESTED. i absolutely love the changes to viktor, his weird apathy and changes are definitely rushed but so interesting to see, his design and behaviour are so very compelling and im very excited to see the development. additionally, this group dynamic between jayce, ekko and heimerdinger is soooooo fun. it offers a break from the intensity with some silliness i think is desperately needed, plus it’s super satisfying to see the trio bounce off each other. that final scene of them in ep3 was visually incredible and i loved seeing the effects upon the hextech weapons during the jinx, sevika vs vi, caitlyn fight. the scene of viktor amongst the shimmer infected was very interesting and it was so cool to truly see the severe effects of shimmer and the inhumanity of viktor is making a clear route towards his glorious evolution which is am keen to watch.

that ambessa reveal at the end was INCREDIBLE. i genuinely didn’t see it coming and it made my jaw DROP. the quiet, smart suspicion from mel is always incredible to see, her political mind and morals conflicting is so very engaging and she’s really developing into herself in these episodes which was a joy to witness. the mystery of her brother is compelling and links well through s1 and s2 to make the storyline fun to follow. i also simply must compliment the designs revolving around the noxians and animal-esque (sorry idk what they’re called) people. the absolute variety and inspiration from real life cultures is beautiful to see. i am incredibly confused about the magic and that one lady (amara?) but i assume that’ll be answered in later episodes.

jinx is not looking good lmao. i love her design being so corpse-like and deathly, it really fits well and really embraces the differences between powder and jinx. but i do wish we saw more of her. i see her actions but i lack understanding for some of them, primarily revolving around the child (isha?) and why the kids even there but the newfound bond between sevika and jinx is refreshing to see. the scene of them in silcos old office brought a smile to my face and the design of that fucking arm is soooo cool i love the clownish purely jinx vibe to it.

caitlyn is probably the stand out character so far (plus maybe viktor). her absolute grief and seeing her facade break down throughout the episodes was heartbreaking, the tentative yet conflicting moments of softness with vi were beautiful yet had that perfect undercurrent of tragedy that arcane masters so well. her rage and break up with vi was easy to see coming yet so incredibly jarring to watch, that harsh and merciless behaviour is so different from s1, the development is well done and a morbid pleasure to see. and that final episode. oh my. the shock to acceptance of darkness was fantastic, ambessa truly is a master at manipulating weakness in even the strongest of people and seeing this duo is going to be so soul crushing that i’m itching for more.

vi felt very rushed to me and alittle dry? idk why tho i can’t really explain it. i understand her choices but it felt like something was missing until that final scene with cait. that was an absolute masterpiece. seeing her realising that the horrors of war is corrupting everyone around her and pleading for it to please not happen is so so SO fucking sad and my heart was breaking. i loved seeing her moral strength and solidity to her values which has always been a key part of her character so i appreciate the consistency. idk why something about her was just… different.

the opening scene was incredible. the absolute horror of it was so clear and i was literally shaking the entire time. 10/10 opening.

overall, i hope things slow down alittle but i greatly enjoyed season 2 and im very excited to see the characters develop and to see even more of this beautiful world.

[drdemonprince]

recently i was reading knowingless/aella's work and saw a reference to many fetishes first showing up in childhood, and although i hadn't heard that before, it's true in my case from what i can remember. do you know of any other info/studies on this? i'm curious to learn more

Well so, there is actually a bit of circularity to the question -- since the original definition of a fetish (from Freud!) was that it was an intense fixation dating back to childhood. It's primacy and deep-seatedness is what distinguishes a fetish from a kink -- the latter is a taste acquired in adulthood, a fun bit of seasoning or set-dressing to the act of sex to make it more exciting or fun -- but the former is an intense lifelong fixation and sexual requirement, to the degree that it may supercede what's conventionally considered sex entirely.

Now, we can take many many issues with Freud's theories and his methodology, but the real point here is that he and many other analysts of his time observed patients exhibiting intense, abiding, lifelong sexual fixations. I don't think we have any decent data on how common having a fetish truly is, but we know it's something people have exhibited for a long time. And a lot of people will find the entire "fetish versus kink" distinction to be meaningless, and Freud's theories useless on the subject, which might be fine for them -- but I am someone who did have an intense sexual fixation on hypnosis since I was a very young child (it's in all my earliest memories) -- and so I find it useful to be able to talk about.

It's pretty commonplace for hard-core fetishists to have had those fetishes since they were children, is the long and short of it, and the relationship lifelong-fetishes have to their fetish-object can look quite a bit different from how kinky people relate to their menu of kinks. Of course, a lot of people's experience won't fit either of these buckets easy or simply -- I don't need to be a dog during sex, but I have found that puppy play helps me access the submissive headspace that I desire from hypnosis, and makes it easier for me to locate compatible partners, so I often allow that more newly-acquired kink to do the work of fulfilling my fetishistic needs for me. Some people discover a kink later in life and pursue it with a fervor forever afterward that closely resembles how most fetishists act and feel. But like, yeah, if what you're asking is whether it is common for people who are into freaky weird shit to have sexually enjoyed that stuff as children, the answer is a resounding yes.

[sf1enjoyer]

꧁Truth and apologies꧂

Part 3 of the LN4 series:New Start

Warning: implied sexual themes

Word count:1280

Summary: After accidentally colliding into Lando and ignoring him for a few weeks you were at a post race party just drinking your nowhere to be found partying mood away until Lando walked up to you.

@fishyfishersticks

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Over the 2024 season, he grew bold. Too bold for his sake but also matured a lot in such a short time. He was no longer that pleased with something less than a win after his first victory in Miami, and you guys slowly started having little fights because you tried talking some sense into him and telling him that he doesn't always need to win, but he was too blinded by this fight for the championship when he saw that he had a chance to win the title.

Things were okay until one catastrophic race. You were fighting for the first place and you were behind him. You were having a shitty weekend and one wrong move ruined peverything, for both you and Lando. You collided sending both McLaren cars into the wall and he came out furious.

"Lando are you oka-" you tried talking when he interrupted you

"Y/N what the fuck is your problem?"

"Excuse me?"

"God.. you're such a pain in the ass. I'm fighting for a championship and you pull stunts like that!"

"The hell are you on? You turned towards me as much as I did into you!"

"It's your fault you got that close. If you can't overtake someone,keep your position."

Your jaw dropped at Lando's harsh words. You were furious at him because it wasn't only your fault.And what enraged you more was the fact that he didn't have the guts to admit that he was in the wrong too.

"Cry me a fucking river. You're an asshole."

You and Lando didn't speak again that race and refused to give any answers to the question that involved one another.

The following race which was hungary Lando won and you got p2. Sure you congratulated each other but the words were cold and the podium celebration was really awkward. You avoided him just as much as he avoided you.

You weren't going to apologize when you knew he was wrong. You're not saying sorry just to fix something you didn't ruin. Even though your heart told you to but you were too stubborn for that.

Later that night a bunch of F1 drivers organiser and went out to a club,with you being one of them. You got dressed up in a dress,not too

short but showing the right amount of skin for a party. To be honest you were there more for the drinks because you weren't really in the mood to party and you were told that Lando wouldn't be there so you saw it as an opportunity to have a bit of fun to forget about your whole argument which was still heated.

You sat at the bar ,ordered a bunch of shots to down your tiredness and frustration. You heard a familiar voice from your left and when you looked, it was Lando ordering a whiskey. Thequestion is why the hell was he here? You were told he rathered go to sleep with how tired he was. At least that's what Carlos told you.

You downed your last shot and scrunched your nose slightly ,when he spoke up.

"Can't handle your alcohol, Y/N?"

"Weren't you supposed to be sleeping like the whiny baby you are?"

"I was going to do that but getting a drink sounded better at the moment."

You rolled your eyes and sighed

"Oh how lovely,now can you go bother someone else?"

"No." He answered firmly as he took a sip of

his drink

"And why the hell not?"

"Because we need to talk Y/N"

Oh wow he wantes to talk to you after a week of ignoring you and blaming you for his crash.

"What an honor."

He sat there in silence for a bit and finished his drink in the meantime

"I'm serious Y/N"

You order two more shots and pass one to him.

"Go ahead,i guess..."

He sighed

"Look i wanted to say I'm sorry for lashing out on you like that. I was pissed that you crashed into me and i took it too far."

You downed your last shot and shot him a glare

"Yeah go ahead and blame me. Definitely i turned into you on purpose.. Thanks for the apology."

You stand up and go outside of the club with Lando quickly following you and calling after you

"Y/N wait! For fuck's sake... That's not what I meant. Why are you so difficult,Jesus!"

You snapped at him your tone slightly raising

"I'm the one who's difficult? I'm sorry I'm realistic and that your whiny ass couldn't admit that the crash was our fault,not just mine because apparently that hurts your new bought fragile ego. I'm so tired of your shit!"

He took your hand when you walked away and his featured seemed softer. He finally had that glint of regret in his eyes that you haven't seen in so long.

"Y/N you're right. Look i know I'm not the best with words and that i acted like and asshole but i really mean my apology. The crash wasn't just you,it was me as well and I'm sorry that this fight for the championship made me act like I'm better than you and that i have the right to treat you like that.."

You were still pissed so you pulled away again and sent another rude remark his way

He grabbed your hand firmly and pulled you close to him,one hand snaking behind to hold you by the waist so you wouldn't leave again

"Y/N just listen. We can't keep going like this. I hate being mad at you,I hate not talking to you.We're teammates but more importantly, we're friends...and things won't work out if we start a rivalty so just please forgive me."

You look up at him and you see his sincere gaze eating you, making you feel guilty

"Please.."He repeated his words. He was practically begging you to forgive him.

You just looked at him and in that moment it came down on you. One hand on your wrist,the other on your waist and his face so close made you want to kiss him and run a hand through his stupidly perfect curls and oh boy you being slightly drunk didn't make things easier for you.

You felt like it was just the two of you. You just gave in and let your body take the decisions for you so you just pressed your lips softly against his and placed a hand on his cheek

To your surpise he didn't pull back immediately and when he did he had his typical smug smile

"I'll just take it as a sign that you forgive me."

With those words being said he kissed you again but this time more fierce but also soft, moving both hands to hold your waist. You automatically wrapped your arms around his neck and slid a hand into his curls from the back of his head. You didn't expect him to reciprocate this but it was fucking amazing.

You felt those two hands creep lower and then squeezing you gently. It took you slightly by surprise but you did enjoy it.

He slowly pushed you against the wall and he kissed your neck, his lips trailing along your jawline until he found your mouth again. He kisses you hungrily, his tongue exploring your mouth in a passionate but sweet way the music and the neon lights of the club and the music fading in the background.

When you pulled back a little ,you desperately reached for your phone to call an uber and you needed it now. You needed to get back to the hotel with Lando as soon as possible.

[visionsofyouandme]

II. to sing it to you all alone

𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜: Games are played, ties deepen- a dance, a confession, a kiss.

𝚠/𝚌: 5.1k

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜/𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚜: f!reader. Age gap (or no age gap- you decide!). Gladiatorial violence. Alcohol consumption. Intoxication. Slow burn. Marcus is down BAD (and we love to see it). MORE pining, yearning, wanting (by both parties).

𝙰/𝙽: Part 2 is here! Marcus being a sopping mess of a man who is hopelessly in love is so fun to write. Hope everyone had a good holiday season, and the new year is upon us! Can't wait to see what kind of projects are in store. I have a lot to share, and I can't wait for you guys to see! Happy reading <3

Translations for my shitty use of Latin are at the bottom!

Part I : AO3

Marcus arrived at the Colosseum later than he would have liked. The games were already in full swing by now, and he had approached the Patrician box seats. He recognized a few other military leaders there, and a few senators and lesser politicians. They all greeted him with those same smiles and boisterous words that he loathed so much. He found himself searching as subtly as he could before he finally laid eyes on you.

You sat apart from the rest, watching the spectacle below as fighters swung swords and mortally wounded one another. Your husband was standing not too far behind you, conversing with his fellow senators who had wives or courtesans on their arms. Marcus could not tell the difference at this point, and paid them no mind.

“My Lady,” he greeted as he came upon your seat, and you looked up at him with an expecting, warm smile.

“General.” you returned, and he gestured to sit, which you granted him with a nod. You turned your head back to the fighters just as one had sliced the head off of their opponent. Marcus’ eyes flew to you, but it was evident you didn’t do so much as flinch. You just had this look about you, like you smelled something horrendous but were trying to be polite.

“Are you and your husband enjoying the battles?” he questioned, shifting in the seat to watch as the victor raised his arms, the crowd roaring their approval. You sighed, leaning back in your seat, hand moving to the top of your red stola. He could see a glint of gold on your neck, and recognized the medallion. He smiled to himself, and looked out as they brought out a group of fighters against two tigers. 

“I do not think my husband is doing much spectating. Which leaves me with all the fun.” you said, sighing and shaking your head. Marcus nodded, chuckling lightly,

“You seem to be thrilled with your time here. These public games are somewhat subdued compared to when the Emperor is present.” Marcus said, and you watched the men roll in the sand to dodge the tigers, poking them with spears.

“It all seems the same to me. Brutality and bloodshed, no matter how big or how little it is, is still brutality and bloodshed.” you said, and Marcus looked down at his hands, curling them into fists gently. He was a part of that, what you had spoken of. In fact, he had done both with his own hands on countless occasions. He swallowed, and looked up as the crowd groaned in disappointment. His eyes shifted to you, who seemed to be staring daggers into the men in the arena. If looks could kill, surely those men would be halfway to Avernus by now. 

“I agree,” he said quietly. You shifted in your seat, silent for a moment until your eyes finally turned to rest on his form. 

“You’d know better than anyone about the effects of war, General Acacius. It can do a number on the human body, the mind. I can only imagine the things you’ve seen. How you feel about them.” you said quietly, and he smiled, reaching over and taking your hand to give it a gentle squeeze.

“If I remain breathing and fighting for Rome, you will never know the pain of war. This, I promise you.” he said, and you looked at him with a bitter sadness in your eyes.

“Who says I have not known it already?” you questioned. Before Marcus could speak, he heard Caecilius call for him as he stumbled over to the seats, and you quickly withdrew your hand from Marcus’. It seemed so unnatural, so jarring to suddenly not have your warmth in the palm of his hand. 

Caecilius seemed to be drunk yet again, eyes glassy and swaying on his feet. He seemed an awfully aloof man who was supposed to be a senator, always under the influence for whatever reason. He knew being a politician wasn’t the easiest job, with a lot resting on one’s shoulders, but Marcus still thought you should be sober when conversing with your equals on formal terms.

“Entertaining my wife, I see?” Caecilius hiccups, coming to your side and placing his hand on your shoulder. You placed your hand over his, and looked up at him,

“The General was just commenting on the excitement of the games. I had to agree, of course. Nothing more entertaining than seeing men slaughter each other.” you said so sweetly that it flew right over Caecilius’ head, but Marcus’ eyebrows shot up. Caecilius smiled at you fondly, pinching your cheek gently with a wink,

“I knew you had a barbaric side to you, my wife. You always seem so enthralled by the men’s shedding of blood. Who’d have thought,” Caecilius hiccuped, swiveling to look at Marcus, almost stumbling to look at him in his seat, “that my darling wife would be so interested in warfare.” he said, patting your head affectionately like a man would his dog. If you seemed uncomfortable, you didn’t show it, simply looking down as they dragged the men’s corpses back to the underbelly of the Colosseum to dispose of.

“Caecilius!” a voice called, and you actually turned at this with a smile, seeing Jahiem walk in adorned in a grey toga with silver lining, a man at his side. You recognized him as Athos, and gave him a nod in greeting.

“Jahiem!” the man responded, walking over and greeting him with a peck on the cheek and a strong hug. 

“You have quite the job- entertaining your wife and the General. Have I missed all the fun?” Jahiem questioned and pat Caecilius on the shoulder. You rose, smiling gently and Marcus could sense your discomfort. Too many people at once, too many smiles, too imposing. 

“The day is young, and the games have only begun! We are in for a grand performance by Rome’s finest gladiators…” Caecilius said, and you bowed, excusing yourself but tossed Jahiem a grateful smile before walking up the steps and into the entryway. Marcus had sat for only a moment, trading pleasantries before following after your path, Jahiem’s eyes on him before flitting back to Caecilius with a grin, stepping down with him to the seats below.

He stepped into the entryway, where a long table full of food, wines and flowers were dispersed. With your back to Marcus, you picked up a glass and took a long sip, oblivious to Marcus’ presence. Or so he thought.

“I apologize for my speaking out of turn. I should not lecture the General Marcus Acacius on the toils of war.” you said, glancing back at him, and he walked to your side, shaking his head. The sound of clinking swords and cries of frustration echoed behind the walls, the crowd overpowering it all. 

“Everyone has an opinion on war. And what you said is true, I must agree.” he said, picking up a thinly sliced piece of meat and wrapping it over some bread.

“But, I must ask… what did you mean by your last words?” he questioned, his eyes shifting to you. He could see a suddenly very vulnerable look on your face, and you smiled weakly. 

“That is a long story, for a different time. You may think of me differently, though. I would understand if you would not want to affiliate with me again.” you said as casually as you could muster, attempting to keep your voice strong but he could sense a sorrow in them. His eyebrows knit together, and he reached out to touch the curve of your elbow gently. 

“My Lady, that would never be the case. Ever.” he said, and quickly dropped it when a servant girl came to refill the wine jugs. You both stepped to the side, and you shook your head.

“Never say never.” you said quietly, and he could see a faraway look in your eyes. How he longed to touch you and bring you near, hold you to his chest and make your troubles slide off of your shoulders. Whatever burden you carried, he could take it. He could take it all, if it meant seeing you smile again.

“Whatever it is, I will not think of you any less than how I do now,” he said, glancing at the servant girl as she skittered off. He sighed, and met your eyes, his amber orbs reflecting in the dim sunlight that still made its way through the doorway. You smiled, and put your hand on his arm gently, giving it a squeeze,

“You make a lot of promises, General,” you laughed dryly, and he shook his head.

“I am true to my word, believe me.” he responded, and moved a bit closer as voices came near, passing through the entryway to the exit. He could smell a bit of the oil perfume you wore- hints of something fresh, like juniper and rosemary. A softness about you, one he wished he could lean down and taste for himself. 

Maybe one day, he could.

When he turned to you, you were only inches apart from each other, and he could see you looking between each of his eyes quickly. Your hand gripped the chalice like you were holding on to the edge of a cliff for dear life. He would be there to rescue you, to pull you to safety. He had promised himself this, and silently to you.

“May I see you again?” you questioned quietly, cautiously, like someone may hear. He nodded, and thought for a moment,

“I have a small gathering planned for the solstice at my villa. You, most importantly, are invited. I know your husband must accompany you, but I will reserve a place just for you at my table.” he said and reached down, taking your free hand in his and pressing a deep kiss to your knuckles. It would have to do for now. He craved you, every part. He would worship every part of you, taste every plane of skin, let his fingers dance along the curves of your body. He would absolutely ravish you, give you every ounce of adoration you deserved.

“Please, promise me you will be there.” he said quietly, still holding your hand within his own, his other hand moving to join it like he would begin to pray. You looked at him with soft, adoring eyes, and nodded.

“You make it hard to deny you, when you look at me like that,” you giggled softly, echoing your words in the marketplace. He smiled, and pressed another deep kiss to your hand, “I promise you I will come, Marcus.” 

The sound of his true name on your lips almost knocked the wind out of him, and he couldn’t help but grin. “I will hold you to it, then. Formal invitations shall be sent out soon, I will make sure one is sent to your household. Wear your finest robes, it is a celebration after all.” he chuckled, and you heard footsteps yet again and you shifted away from him, turning to the table and refilling your chalice. Marcus watched, nodding with a smile as people walked by, trying to look as unassuming as possible.

“I already long to see your face again,” he said lowly, his fingertips reaching to glide against your forearm gently. He could feel gooseflesh rise on your skin, and he tried but failed to keep the smile to himself. You turned your head away, exposing the curve of your neck. He imagined leaning his face into it, inhaling your perfume, your personal human scent. Lavish your skin with kisses, letting his hand become familiar with the slope of your neck to your shoulders. 

You turned your face upwards to him, and he saw your eyes move unmistakably to his lips. Your own lips parted, and he could feel anticipation bubbling in his chest to his lower abdomen. 

God, he would give you the stars if you asked.

“Call upon me, if you’d like. I could use the company until your party.” you said, your eyes flitting back to him with a smile. He nodded, trying to contain himself and he returned the smile.

“If the Lady so pleases, then call upon you, I shall.” 

 Marcus was true to his word. He visited you twice the following week, one to hand deliver an invitation himself. Unfortunately, Caecilius was there that time, but Marcus was good natured about it, conversing and smiling politely as you sat at the other side of the table, watching in amusement as the men talked. In truth, Marcus was paying no mind to Caecilius and his ramblings. He could only revel in your presence, even if it was indirectly. 

The second time, he made sure Caecilius was not there. He had a trusted manservant, Phabios, who he had sent to your villa to scope out before he had come. When he had returned to tell him you were alone, Marcus embarked on his journey to see you. When he arrived, you entertained him with food and drink as usual, the company nothing but amiable and casual. Only stolen glances and knowing smiles were shared between the two of you during your meeting.

But, some people began to notice, hiding in the shadows.

The day of the party had drawn near, and you felt a certain giddiness about you. Excitement about seeing Marcus in the comfort of his own abode took you over. Even though it was under formal circumstances, you were still looking forward to conversing with him nonetheless.

When you arrived, Caecilius held you close on his arm and raved about the grand majesty of Marcus’ home. Set in the neighborhood of those rich and powerful of Rome, he had more room to move around than most, and therefore enough room to accommodate such a large party. He had fresh garlands adorned with flowers hung on the walls, lanterns and torches lit to help with the dark evening, a small band and Greek cantor playing in the corner. 

You took it all in, holding your excess of the deep red palla over your arm as your other was woven between Caecilius’. Your hair, upturned and out of your way, had a transparent gold veil hanging over it to protect it from the elements. 

And the pendant Marcus had bought for you lay between your collarbones, gold and glistening in the torchlight.

“Ah! General Acacius!” Caecilius greeted as Marcus turned from some other guests. Marcus smiled kindly and took Caecilius’ hand in greeting. 

“Senator. My Lady.” he greeted, his eyes lingering on you for just a beat, but Caecilius was oblivious as he gestured around, complimenting the architecture and decor of the grand villa. 

“I take all of your compliments to heart, sir. Your praise is heard and valued.”

“I can only hope my humble home is a fraction as nice as yours. But, you are a good man, and have worked hard for it. Don’t you think so, my dear?” Caecilius questioned, turning to you and you smiled, nodding.

“Absolutely. General Acacius is a brave and noble icon of Rome. He should be rewarded as such.” you said, and Marcus smiled wide. He nodded, glancing behind you two as he saw more people filing in.

“Please, enjoy. Make yourselves at home. Indulge in the drink, the food… imported from the Greek colonies.” he said, and Caecilius wiggled his eyebrows with a grin, and thanked him, pulling you along. You smiled at Marcus in passing, and could feel his gaze lingering on you as you walked away.

As the night went on, you conversed with other high ladies of Rome, and kept your wine intake to a minimum. Your eyes followed Marcus as he milled about the rooms, playing host with smiles and conversation. 

The cantor kept a lively mood, and soon enough there was space in the room for a dance line. You weren’t going to partake in the fun, Caecilius abandoning you for his friends who were also lucky to score an invitation. You watched as Marcus, surprisingly, joined in the dance and moved around the floor with a noble lady with curly hair as dark as night and golden skin, her soft pink dress swishing in the movement of the dance.

You felt something akin to jealousy rise in your chest. You were not paying attention to the senator and his wife who talked over you anyway with another noble lady. You could only hold your drink and watch with a neutral expression at the dance that unfolded before you.

You had broken away from the group and found the refreshment table, picking at the abundant food. Just as you reached for a piece of pomegranate, you felt a familiar presence come to your side.

“I admire your adornments this evening, My Lady.” Marcus said, and you turned to him with a smile, glancing at the pendant on your chest before looking back at him.

“Thank you. It was a wonderful gift from an equally wonderful man.” You said with a knowing look, and he smiled. Anyone on the outside would have thought you were talking about Caecilius, at least that was the intention.

“He is very lucky to be in your good graces.” Marcus mused, and his eyes flit over your form. You faced him fully, and could see how hungrily he took in you and your appearance. “I was inquiring if you would honor me with the next dance.”

You looked at him with a surprised look, but couldn’t help but fold into his request.

“Of course, General. It would be my honor.” You said, abandoning the pomegranate and took his hand, walking to the dance floor as the band struck up another tune. This one was slower, but good enough to dance to. You faced him in the line, and bowed as the music began.

And you danced.

Oh, you danced with him, and it was the most intimate thing you had ever been a part of in all of your years on this wretched planet. 

His gaze never left you, his face fading between adoration, longing, lust, and admiration. You could only smile, and knew you had to keep as neutral of a face as you could to not betray how you felt. Every time your hands touched in the spin to switch sides, it was like fire igniting your skin. His gaze locked on to you was borderline obscene, and you could feel eyes on you as danced across the floor in tandem.

But, with the way he would fade in and out of closeness, his amber eyes taking in every move, you felt the world fall away. All you could feel was bliss.

The song came to an end, and you finished with a mutual bow. When you rose, you could see the expression on his face turn to casual smiles as he nodded to his fellow dancers. You smiled and broke away, feeling a heat creep on your skin, longing in your veins. 

“It is a shame the General is not married. He would make a fine husband to a lucky woman.” one of the ladies in your circle said, shaking her head somberly. 

“Well, don’t you remember? All those years ago, he once was. His wife had died in childbirth, I heard, the tragedy of it all. Lovely woman, too, from the way some still talk affectionately of her.” another said, and you turned your head, keeping your face casual but inside you were surprised. You had heard little of Marcus’ past, even with the brief conversations you had had with him so far. 

“Ah, yes. I do remember. That must have been, what? Ten years’ past? It is surprising he has not remarried since. But being in the profession of war, who really has time for a wife?” the first woman said, and you swallowed another gulp of wine. Smiling sweetly, you excused yourself under the guise of retrieving more wine. You approached the table and extended your cup to the servant girl who poured you some more from the amphora and you smiled, giving a small thanks. 

You made your way to the outside gardens, the cool night settling over you. It was a strong contrast to the stuffy, hot air inside the villa that was packed with bodies. You wiped your brow of the sweat that had accumulated there, and walked deeper into his gardens. You could smell the flowers that grew there, soft and sweet, as well as the herbs that grew there. You recognized one, and bent down to touch it gently. It was just a small thing, barely having grown and freshly planted, but still alive and thriving. You touched the leaves gently, retrieving your fingers and could smell it faintly.

Juniper.

You heard footsteps behind you, yet you remained crouching.

“Admiring the flora?” an unmistakable voice chuckled, and you turned to look at Marcus over your shoulder with a smile.

“Yes. You do have a wonderful, sprawling garden. I am impressed.” you said, rising to your feet, cup still clutched in your hand. Marcus gazed at you in the dim light that only reached so far from the villa, but you could still see the lightest smile.

“I am glad. Are you enjoying yourself?” he questioned, and you nodded, glancing at the respectable distance between you two. It felt like a canyon, deep and wide and filled you with yearning.

“Yes, of course. You have an impressive home.” you said. He glanced around at the tall bushes that seemed to conceal you both from the party, and drew nearer to you. He took your cup and placed it on a nearby bench so he could take both of your hands within his.

“It is all for you, you know.” he said quietly, and you felt your heart jump in your throat. You smiled, swallowing thickly.

“If you wanted to impress me, you could have done less, and I would have loved it all the same.” you said with a light laugh, and he smiled, nodding.

“I wanted to show you… show you what-” he began, and your eyebrows furrowed at this. He seemed to abandon his thoughts, and brought your hands up so he could kiss them.

“I am glad you are here. I do not care about showing off, but I wanted you to know… this evening, this party, is all to have you here.” he said, his brown eyes boring holes into you in a way that sent shivers down your spine and heat that pooled in your lower stomach.

“I know I cannot have you call here, in fear of what people will say. Your reputation, your honor, is important. I cannot let that be in jeopardy.” he explained quietly, and you smiled gently. You had never experienced someone who valued you above themselves. He was protecting you, thinking of you and your wellbeing. You knew the punishment of adultery in Rome- and it did not treat women kindly. 

Not that this was anything like that.

“You are kind, Marcus.” you said quietly, and he brought your hands to press against his chest, pulling you so close to him you could see the faint scars across his cheekbone and over the curve of his nose. You wanted to reach out and trace the lines, familiarize yourself with his features that you had come to admire.

“But… I cannot let you walk away without telling you how I feel,” he said, and you could feel his heart begin to pick up beneath your hands, underneath his clothing. Your eyebrows knit together, and you shook your head gently,

“Marcus-“

“Please,” he whispered quietly, standing nearly chest to chest with you. “You are the most… you are everything. I admire your bravery, your quick wit, your ability to keep a calm and level head even in the most loathsome situations. Your poise, your beauty, the way you carry yourself… Everything you do, everything you are- I admire it, I crave it, I cannot go a day without you in my thoughts.” 

You could only stand still, as still as the marble statues around the city, feeling his racing heart beneath your hands. Your eyes began to well up with tears, and he released one of your hands to cup your cheek gently.

“I know I cannot have you in the way that is good, that is proper- but I have to make my feelings known. I hate standing by and seeing you unhappy, seeing you with him… When I want you with every part of my soul.” He added, shaking his head gently, and you could feel his body so close to you, his words making you feel so fragile and yet so strong all at once. “Mea amata, mea vita, I do not care if the sky parts now and it starts raining fire. Nothing in heaven nor any of the Gods can stop me from giving you my heart.” 

You didn’t realize you were trembling until he pressed his forehead against yours, his thumb brushing against your cheekbone gently. “Perhaps I can have you in the next life. What I have of you now, though… That will be enough.”

You didn’t know what to say. No one had given you a grand romantic gesture, words of affirmation, or words of pure adoration. Marcus had always looked at you with this heaviness in his eyes. And now, he was finally expressing those looks into feelings now. 

Unable to form a coherent response, you were possessed by a force and you leaned your head up, kissing him softly, your hand moving to return the touch to his own cheek. He leaned into it instantly- hungrily, achingly, with so much passion it may have knocked you over had you not found the strength to stand. The noise of the party had faded away, even the chirping of crickets and soft breeze were nothing to your senses. 

He pulled you by the waist to bring you flush against him, and he turned his head to taste more of your lips. You held on to him, a hand moving from his cheek to the side of his neck while the other moved to his forearm to hold yourself steady. You leaned into him, opening your mouth just enough to part your lips for him and he slid his tongue inside, sliding it over yours. You let out a soft sigh, and his hand tightened on your waist, bunching the fabric of your stola in his fist. 

As you pressed your body against his, you could hear him grunt and suddenly felt something pressing against your stomach. Hard, aching, and hard to go unnoticed. You knew what this meant in a man, what was to follow. But, you knew he would not force it upon you. Even behind closed doors, you had a feeling he wouldn’t dream of handling you in such a barbaric way.

“Please,” he panted, leaning his forehead against yours, his breath fanning your face. “Let me call upon you tomorrow. Morning, day, evening, night- I will be there as soon as you say. We may do nothing but sit under the gaze of the Gods, converse, drink wine-” he laughed lightly, giving your lips a peck and you smiled up at him. His laughter was a sweet song, so light and free, something you realized you hadn’t heard genuinely from him.  

“Whatever it is, whatever you want… I am at your feet, My Lady. Even if you wish to never see me again, I will do it. Ask me for anything and you will have it before you can exhale another breath.” 

You could only gaze at him softly, so much unspoken between you that he was bypassing all in the name of devotion and adoration. Your wretched past, Marcus’ lost family, the secrecy of this confession hanging heavy in the air. You were elated, worried, thrilled, and terrified all at the same time. Who knew you were capable of such emotion, after years of stamping everything down except anger and bitterness?

There was so much on your mind, so much pressing at the front of your cranium that you didn’t think about the words that came spilling out of your mouth,

“Tomorrow night. Caecilius is going… he’ll be out. He will not be home until late into the night. I will send someone for you.” you said, your hand tracing down his stubbled jawline, and you kissed his lips deeply, already begging for another taste. Holding your face with such firmness, it was like if he didn’t you would fall away into nothingness. It felt good to be wanted, to be kept safe, to be… loved. 

He pulled away, leaning his forehead against yours, and breathed gently, his breath fanning your face.

“I will anxiously await your messenger.” he said with a soft smile, and you nodded, your hand moving to lay over his, but you both looked up when you heard voices coming to the garden. He looked back at you, kissing you again deeply as if it were the last time he would get to do so. But you knew it was only the beginning.

“Go. I will go around the back to avoid suspicion. Be careful… and I will see you again soon.” Marcus whispers against your lips, and you pull away reluctantly, your hand grasping his until the last moment until you let it fall. You smiled and nodded, picking up the abandoned chalice, and he bowed, turning and heading into the darkness of the bushes. You found your way back, finding a group laughing rancorously just outside the gardens. You smiled and slipped past them, back inside the safety of the villa. You found Jahiem, who gave you a questioning look, but you only smiled lightly and lifted your head to jump into whatever conversation lay ahead of you. 

You moved about the room, maintaining appearances and approached the food table. You turned your head at the sound of someone greeting Marcus. You picked up a piece of fruit, and turned your head back to see the pomegranate laying in your palm. 

And like Prosperpina committing herself to Pluto, you bit into it, a sliver of juice escaping the corner of your mouth. You swiped at it gently, and licked your finger. 

You had eaten the fruit, now you must pay the price. 

Translations: Patrician (Roman high class), Avernus (Underworld), Cantor (singer), Amphora (wine vessel), Mea Amata (my beloved), Mea Vita (my life).

Thank you for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs are always loved and adored.

[glitterquadricorn]

good 4 u - f1 grid

+summary: y/n williams, granddaughter of Frank Williams, has had enough of being overlooked and screwed over by her own team. +pairing: f1 grid x driver!williams!reader +warnings: angst-ish, mentions being screwed over, curse words, poorly edited. If I missed something, let me know. I do not give my permission to have my work reposted. I do not give my permission to have my work translated. If I'm notified that you've stolen my work or claim it as your own, you'll be asked to take it down before I'll report you. End of discussion.

liked by FranColapinto, hater1, hater2, and 1,239,563 others

williamsracing Franco Colapinto to race for the remainder of the 2024 season.

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FranColapinto Thank you for this opportunity! liked by williamsracing

hater1 the best decision Williams ever made!

hater2 good riddance

user1 NOOOO!! I was only going to Monza for y/n. ⤷yourinstagram don't let my misfortunes stop you from going. have fun and create good memories, yeah? ⤷user1 you actually replied 💀

user2 something about this doesn't feel right. ⤷yourinstagram you'd be right because they didn't even tell me I was being replaced. ⤷user2 they didn't have the decency to tell you? brooo that's low even for them.

When walking down the paddock several people of the media followed her, asking question after question about the recent news of Williams replacing her mid-season with f2 rookie, Franco Colapinto. She wouldn't have been as mad as she is right now if they had simply told her that the Dutch GP would be her last, but the fact that she found out via social media post filled her with undeniable rage.

"Where's James?" She shouted, stepping into the Williams garage. The sheer volume of her voice caused the pit crews of both drivers to jump. They weren't used to this level of anger from her. "Is someone going to tell me where that piece of shit is, or am I going to kick down doors until I find him?"

An intern from the back of the garage (the one that posted the announcement to begin with, which was a complete accident, but it's not like they'd ever own up to it in fear of repercussions), stepped forward. "He's in his office-"

Y/n didn't stick around to hear anything else from the intern. She stormed through the halls, breathing heavily through her nose, her fists balled tight. Employees stepped aside trying to avoid being shoved into a wall, or even a desk since one of the pit crew guys called ahead to warn them. From behind her, those employees weren't being exactly quiet when talking about how angry she was and wondered if they should call security and have them on standby in case if anything happened.

Approaching the door to James's office, she burst in, not waiting for a response from him.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

James sat at his desk, twirling the pen between his fingers while speaking on the phone. He looks over at her, "We'll continue this conversation later, Franco. Have a great day!" He hung up the phone, "Have a seat, y/n. It seems like we have a lot to discuss."

"I'd rather stand, thank you." There was an intense stare off between the team principal and the former driver before she moved to be in front of his desk. "Were you even planning on telling me?"

"You have to understand we needed the points-"

"Quit trying to change the subject, James and answer the damn question."

"We're eventually going to tell you."

"I find that a little hard to believe, but okay." Her eyes then glanced around the room, landing on the blown-up picture of her third-place finish in Spa. A podium that was never supposed to happen because of the condition of the car, but by the grace of mother nature and the several car pile-up near the start/finish line, she got Williams their first podium in ten years. Walking over to it, she took it down.

"What are you doing?"

"Since you're getting rid of me, I'm taking this. Oh! And the trophy I got in Spa, you know the team's first podium since 2014, I'm taking that too since you don't deserve to keep it."

"Calm down-"

"Don't tell me to calm down, James," she clinched her hands tightly around the edge of the picture, careful not to break the glass. "In Australia, my car was taken from me because Alex crashed out in qualifying at the same corner as he did the previous two- no, three seasons and I was the one punished for it? He didn't even get points, so him taking my car was pointless. Literally. My car since then has been overweight and has had parts from last year's car. I can confidently say that if Alex and I had equal machinery, then I could be at his pace and maybe even out pace him. So let me ask you this, James, did you sign me because you felt like you had to because of what my last name is and who I'm related to, or was it because I brought in big sponsorships, and you were using me for the money?"

James sat there in complete silence, staring at her. To her, his silence was telling.

She scoffed, walking over to the door. "Lovely. Absolutely lovely."

"If it makes a difference, we still believe in you."

"It doesn't and don't start lying to me, James," she paused. "All those big sponsorships I brought with me when I signed with Williams, I'm taking those with me wherever I go because I'll be damned if you and this team get to benefit off me again."

"But you'll be screwing us over!"

"Just like when you screwed me over?"

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, f1 and 1,315,204 others.

ynisracing new car, new contract.

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mercedesamgf1 Happy to have you on board, y/n! ⤷ynisracing thanks for having me! :)

user1 she got a shiny new car, a new contract and her p3 trophy back? I just know [redacted] is off somewhere pissed. liked by ynisracing

lewishamilton I'm happy that you're the one taking my seat in 2025! I know you'll good things. ⤷ynisracing I'm going to need all the luck I can get since I got big shoes to fill.

user2 y/n as world champion in 2025. I'm calling it now.

user3 Williams is never beating the Mercedes sister team allegations.

georgerussell63 alex_albon should I be worried? ⤷alex_albon pull up a chair so I can tell you all about the glitter incident of 2024. ⤷ynisracing 🤣🤣 ⤷georgerussell63 oh god.

it's been a hot minute since I posted anything and not going to lie, it feels pretty good.

Williams racing last podium was in 2021 when George got p2 at spa, but for dramatic purposes, their last podium was in 2014 when Valtteri got p3. Just to clearing up any confusion.

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[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

You put a lot small visual elements and details in that I never seem to notice on my first read, and it always makes rereading exciting. What’s a detail from the comic that nobody ever seemed to notice? I’m sure there are things that nobody has mentioned, especially from the early chapters, that you’d want to talk about

Oh man.........that's a great question.

The thing is, there are a lot of details that people don't pick up, but there are definitely eagle-eyed readers that also do! There are also details which most didn't pick up until someone posted about it, and now everyone knows!

There are also details which are actually... yet to be revealed as relevant! That's a secret tool that'll help us later. :)

But most of it is plot relevant decisions I make which make the story more full, but are not necessarily NECESSARY for full enjoyment.

For example, in the very first comic, when Earl approaches Steven....

Her eye isn't white! That was a fully deliberate decision. She didn't actually approach Steven because he wanted her to. That was a decision she made on her own!

Most of the white eye shenanigans in Season 1 were deliberate, albeit not very explicit. I suppose that worked out okay, though. Plus, many people DID catch on!

Also, this part in the Kindergarten comic:

...which people assumed was a power separate from everything, is actually just the first instance of Steven's Command power. The thing is, I hadn't settled into how to portray it at the time, and also - the gem is Corrupted! It doesn't respond to Steven's commands the same way normal gems do. I planned to explore that earlier initially, but in the end, decided to tie it into much later plot.

In Season 1, EP 38, Steven asks Earl to write her name.... and she does! But in gem, not English, because she doesn't know how to write in English.

She designates herself as White Pearl, putting the dash over the top diamond. It was at the time when she was still anxious about making Steven - White Diamond - angry with her.

And to add to the eye thing - during the Season finale of Season 2, when Steven wondered if Earl only came to see him because he forced her to - the comic where she finds him in the water proves otherwise!

Immediately when she grabs him and swims up, her eyes aren't white! She's doing it of her own accord.

Also, in Season 3's opening, when Rose is angry at what she THINKS is White Diamond, she almost has a slip of the tongue when talking about the past.

There's a very pointed reason that panel of Earl is right there next to Rose's cut-off 'My...'

Also, when Rose leaves Steven in the Containment Sphere - the Baby Jail Bubble - she unlocks it to leave, and you can pretty clearly see an interesting detail.

(which Steven, of course, doesn't notice.)

There's also a bit of a narrative tongue in cheek line-up which is accidental on Steven's part but still rings true:

(TVTropes editors caught this one! Hey TVTrope editors!)

Also, this very famous Seaglass foreshadowing:

The first instance of Steven connecting to tech was in the beginning of this season!

When Steven has a bad dream after fusing with Earl and forming Bleached Coral, there's a hidden detail in this reflective text from Nightmare Rose:

(It might be easier to read if you mirror-flip it.)

Another fun thing I enjoyed doing before I got busy with other stuff is gem language! Earl writes Steven notes in it to help him learn, and now signs with her English name,

In the Cluster Experiments comic, if you look at the panels before stuff starts to Happen, you can find a few Experiments hiding in the background. :)

In Amethyst's room, there is a Japanese stopsign and a d20 in the background.

In episode 25 of season 4, Steven is playing Moonlight Sonata!

In episode 33, the ship Steven connects to displays a bisection of the earth which showcases its lumpy core! Or rather, the megastructures that are hidden deep inside the mantle.

It also showcases a few geothermal coring sites made during the colonization.

And by the way, the drill Pearl built was actually a repurposed ship hull which was used for the Space Race ship in the original show!

And man there are actually... many more! But I had to skip over them because they are alluding to things which have not yet been explicitly revealed! :D

But even with this, I'm sure there are other ones I'm missing. If you think you have one that should be listed - throw it on a reblog or in the comments!

[sabi0229]

I would like to thank @just-a-fun for their recent post about Darius that motivated me to write a whole angst lore thing ....again.

I really do think that it's a possibility we will get to see a wider perspective of Darius emotions in season 3 because of everything that happened in season 2 especially finding out the women who he had fallen in love with and thought that he was the reason shes "dead" is alive.

In season one we get to see some emotions of grief mostly depression but also we see how Darius keeps pushing his emotions down trying to focus on the whole who's trying to attack us mission. Darius is seen taking lots of deep breaths during specific scenes mostly when him and Ben are disagreeing on something or arguing. Sure it may look like hes trying to be the bigger person and calming down the argument which he is. But there is also a look in his eyes for a split second before he take his breath as if hes trying to hold back his emotions from expressing how he truly feels. Once we get to Kenjis episode Darius is actually showing some emotions that looked like he was holding back like anger and not the same type of anger when he and Ben were arguing about the raptors or theories but mostly when its's about Brooklyn its slightly visible. throughout the episodes we see him show more and more emotions exactly like in season one of CC when the Indominos attacked and he focused on pushing his emotions downs and then in the final ep where they're under ground Darius just burst out. Its show cased in majority of the seasons except in season 4 where hes mostly gone back to his season one self where he doesn't really talk that much. I noticed in season 2 of CC hes trying to be more optimistic and socialize with Mitch and the others exactly how he was trying to do with Zenya in season 2 of CT.

With season 3 of CC we see him display a lot of emotions and in season 5 and in both seasons we actually see him try to push his emotions out. S3 with Ben and S5 with Kenji and then he had busted out on them he fought with Ben and yelled at Kenji so in S3 of CT we can predict that his emotions will be mainly focused on Ben and Brooklyn . And that a main emotion will definitely be anger and betrayal but he will try not to show because he already knows everyone else is going thorough the same wants to make sure they're safe he doesn't focus on his emotions which will defiantly cause him to lash out later on in the season. like in S2 of CT when everyone found out Ben knew we saw the look on Darius face where he was hurt and wanted to ask Ben questions too but realized he shouldn't be focused on that and try to get everyone to focused on finding Brooklyn so they can bring her back.

[cheriladycl01]

Better than me - Charles Leclerc x Reader P9

Plot: You are a rookie in your first f1 season, adding to the ever-growing amount of Brits performing in the grid

Once you'd woken up and were told you wouldn't be able to race until Silverstone you were devastated.

You cried and cried until your mum pulled up your team principle phoned you and explained their was no way they were replacing you yet. You still had your seat.

You were still in the hospital by the time Hungary had come around and were forced to watch it on your iPad being told of by the nurses every time you got to excited.

Lando, Charles and Alex all had done special helmets for you being close to you. And they'd actually all attempted to call you and visit you. They'd gotten a few fleeting texts from you but that was about general stuff but as far as they were told you were refusing to have visitors which upset them all.

By the time Monza came two weeks later, you were so down in the dumps and even though you were out the hospital you couldn't bring yourself to go to the paddock.

And because of the long distance travel you also didn't attend Montreal. You watched at home with your parents who were just as worried about your mental health as they were with your physical health.

When Physio started with your personal trainer you were so demotivated and cried to him almost every day. But he was there for you the whole time, and he really shouldn't have been as it was private between the two of you, but whenever he was called to Germany to the Audi HQ he would tell Alex how you were doing, which in turn led Alex to tell the grid what was going on.

Monaco was the first race you attended even though a lot of people were apprehensive with you coming because of your injuries. But it was Monaco and you felt ready to see everyone.

You walked through the paddock and all the fans were shocked to see you there.

Strangely they were all super respectful, not crowding or touching you in places that may hurt and didn't stick around for long. It was a nice feeling being back in the paddock but almost felt like something was missing. You weren't going to be on track or racing.

"Y/N?" a voice behind you calls that you know all to well.

"Lan?" you smile and open your arms slowly, he comes closer to you tears in his eyes as he looks over you.

"I- I'm sorry its all my fault" he cries looking over you before carefully wrapping his arms around you. He yaps some more about how it was his fault and how he shouldn't be racing today it should be you and you had to literally stop him from talking.

"Lan, its fine. I'm not upset. I'm glad you are okay. It happens in racing and hey I'll be back racing in Silverstone hopefully" you grinned and you guys spoke for a while until he was needed else where. He really didn't want to leave but you'd practically forced him too.

Then Alex and Lily came, demanding why you didn't let them come see you and why you'd been living under a rock all this time.

"I'm sorry guys, but I was just really down with not being able to do much and you know it was hard after the accident coming to terms with everything. I was embarrassed and didn't want to see anyone" you'd explained and Lily tried to look furious but turned to thankful yet worried older sister in seconds, pulling you into a light hug in order not to hurt you while Alex rubbed your shoulder.

You all had a really heartfelt moment that was caught by some media teams, Alex and Lily dragged you back to the Audi garage and made sure you had a comfortable seat, everyone was really happy to see you again and you ended up being bombarded with questions.

You spent some time with the reserve driver who was happy to be filling in for you but knew this wasn't a free seat to take as he knew you'd be back and he knew Audi would want you back.

And afterwards you spend time watching free practice. It was always fun in Monaco and it was supposed to be your first year as a driver here, you'd yet to drive the historic track and you knew 2027 might be better for you but ... you couldn't help but feel that sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach.

You had what Amy Santiago had FOMOAW - Fear of Missing Out at Work.

The day was ending up and you were taking a slow walk back to the car where you parents were waiting to take you back to the hotel. Walking was still a little difficult and painful but you knew the more you moved in little increments the quicker you'd be back to racing.

"Y/N?" some shouts from behind you but it seems shocked and more like a question. You stand still for a second, trying to correlate that voice and of course it was Charles Leclerc.

"Hello Charlie" you say softly.

The accident had put a lot into perspective for you. Silly pettiness from you would have potentially cost Charles ever being able to understand you had forgiven him, if things had taken a turn for the worst in the hospital. And in fact you'd forgiven him a very long time ago but you didn't want to show that in fear of getting hurt again.

"Oh my gosh, you are here!" he says carefully looking over at you.

"Yeah, I'm here" you smile looking at him. He looked a little rough, not a bad rough but like all his usual pristine self-care had depleted.

"Look , i need to say this before you run away or leave I need to get it off my chest!" he lets out in a breath and you cant help but giggle a little.

"I'm not going too-" you start but he steps closer to interrupt you.

"Please just let me ... i need to explain my, what i did it was not right and I am sorry. I - i shouldn't have believed stupid stupid whispers around the paddock, and I shouldn't have let Ferrari make a complaint against you. I really like you. You are an incredible driver and I think you are going to come so far in the sport... i mean you already have its amazing but ... fuck I'm getting of track. What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry and can we please start over again as friends and can you forgive me for all those cruel things i said" he asks looking over your expression which was one of concentration hanging off every word he was telling you.

"Charlie... look i forgave you a long time ago. I knew you didn't mean it, you were just heated with the races. Like we all are... and you know Ferrari wouldn't have listened to you on a matter like this... so i no longer hold a grudge for any of it. Okay?" you smile and he looks shocked.

"So I am forgiven?" he asks and you nod, moving closer and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Forgiven ... IF" you start with a smirk making him frown and his puppy eyes come out in worry.

"You buy me dinner. I'm starving and I'm not racing right now so I'm craving a really greasy pizza or cheeseburger" you smile and he nods.

"I- I can do dinner" he smiles and you nod walking away with a big grin on your face.

Charles was in shock, to the point he remained there until Carlos found him just staring into the abyss and he told him all about what had just happened.

And for you, well ...

The world, despite you not racing, felt righted.

For now.

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