#there was one time when my very sanskrit name got confused with my friend's very arabic one. i still laugh about it

[theinsomniacindian]

It's so funny how my chosen name is somewhat related to my IRL name

[ayanna-wild]

Love Like A Story

Word Count: 2033

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, pining because that is definitely a warning lol, fluff

A/N: Request from wattpad

Summary: Love was a fairy tale, it didn't exist beyond movies and words on the pages of a book. With your fair share of heartache and break, you'd decided you were better off alone, but Lucifer's determined to show you love wasn't a trope for the story books.

Such a persistent devil.

..................................................................................

You stacked the books from your cart onto shelves lined with even more books. Some new, some old, all with a story or more to tell. This little shop was your own slice of heaven, your refuge from the world outside. You had no need to venture out when any adventure you could ever want was right here, between the pages of all these books. The bell above your shop door chimed faintly, and you called out to whomever it was.

"We're not open yet!"

The sound of footsteps grew nearer and a familiar man poked his head around the shelf you were stacking.

"I'm just here to pick up my order, assuming you have it?"

You smiled faintly, dusting your hands off from the older books that had collected more dust than the ones towards the front of the store.

"Mr. Morningstar, nice to see you again."

Lucifer was a regular in your little shop, always seeking to expand his library and occasionally asking you to find books you weren't sure even existed anymore. You always came through though, and you supposed that was why he kept coming back.

"How many times must I insist you call me Lucifer?"

His voice followed after you as you walked back towards the counter.

"You're my customer, not my friend." You replied, albeit a bit stiffly.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow leaning against the counter as you walked behind it, shuffling through a box.

"Shall I pretend not to be offended?"

You mostly ignored his comment, setting a very large and very old book in front of him. The pages were well-worn and bound in a material you suspected wasn't leather. Lucifer smiled and ran his fingers over the spine before open the book.

Words you couldn't understand were written on the pages, and he seemed even happier upon that discovery.

"You even got it in the original Sanskrit."

You shrugged a bit, although you did feel rather proud of yourself.

"It's what you asked for."

Lucifer pulled an envelope from the inner pocket of his suit and held it out to you. Another reason he was your favorite customer is because he paid handsomely for finding books like this. Honestly he was keeping your shop afloat. You grabbed the envelope but frowned when he didn't let go.

"Mr. Morningstar, you don't get the book until I get my money."

He tsked, still not letting go.

"It's Lucifer my dear, go on try it." He smirked.

You sighed, tapping your fingers on the counter. It was safe to say you were his match when it came to stubbornness. His hand brushed yours when he leaned forward a bit, and you tried to ignore the feeling his skin brushing against yours gave you. You stared him down before he let out a dramatic sigh.

"Very well if you won't say my name at least humor my curiosity for a moment."

You nodded, and he relinquished his hold on the envelope, which you tucked into the cash register.

"Do you ever leave this shop? You always seem to be here, don't you ever go out?"

"Why would I? I have everything I need here."

That answer didn't seem to satisfy him, and he frowned.

"Don't you have friends who miss you? Family? A lover to be with perhaps?"

He noticed the tense of your shoulders, your lips pressed in a thin line, and you pressed the book into his hands, causing him to fumble with it.

"I don't need those things. Have a good day, Mr. Morningstar."

He stared at you surprised by your sudden hostility, and he stood there a moment, holding his book.

"But my dear, surely you don't enjoy being so alone..."

"Goodbye Mr. Morningstar."

You turned away from him, busying yourself with marking the transaction down in your receipt book. Lucifer stood there a moment longer before leaving without another word. You waited until you heard the bell chime before releasing your breath, leaning back against the wall.

You didn't need anyone. It was never worth the heartache that followed after they left, you decided long ago being alone is what you wanted, and he wasn't about to change that.

Not if you could help it.

~

Although Lucifer continued to come as he regularly did, he noticed you grew even more distant than before. Which was saying something because the two of you were never very close to begin with. Not for a lack of trying on his part though, you stopped any advances of friendship he made. Now however, you didn't speak to him at all.

Not beyond a polite greeting, or the total of his purchases. He'd even accept you calling him Mr. Morningstar, as long as it meant you'd at least look at him.

"Are you alright darling? You seem very off lately."

You didn't answer him as you rung up the stacks of books he had sat down. Lucifer frowned when you wordlessly began loading them into a bag.

"Y/N..."

The provoked a small glance from you, he seldom used your name, preferring to call you darling, or dear, occasionally love if he was in an especially chipper mood.

"Good day Mr. Morningstar."

Lucifer frowned when you handed him the bag, his hand brushed yours as he grabbed the bag, and you jerked your hand back as if he had burnt you. He didn't leave though, continued to stare at you until you finally met his eye.

He studied you closely before leaning towards you a bit, with a wall behind you there was nowhere to run. You couldn't seem to force yourself to look away, eyes locked with his.

"Tell me darling... what do you desire most in this world?"

You didn't want to answer, really you didn't, but you found your lips moving before you could stop them.

"I want to be alone, completely and utterly alone."

Lucifer stood up straight, shock and concern written all over his face. You blinked rapidly for a few seconds, breaking whatever spell had fallen over you.

"Why would you desire such a dreary existence?"

You scowled, angry at yourself for saying that out loud, angry at him for asking.

"Everyone always leaves in the end, love is just a fairy tale, a story better left to empty words on a page."

Lucifer's heart ached to hear you say such a sad thing, it left him wondering who'd hurt you so. You didn't give him much of a chance to ask before opening your shop door.

"I have work to do, Mr. Morningstar, please leave."

Your cool tone left no room for argument making it clear you were telling him, not asking. Lucifer conceded, leaving you alone with your darkening thoughts.

~

You closed the shop early that night, locking the door behind you as the sun began to set. You nearly jumped out of your skin when you saw Lucifer standing outside, smoking a cigarette. He put it out once he saw you though.

"Hello love, I was wondering when you'd come out!"

You stared at him confused and a frown tugged at the corners of your mouth.

"Have you been waiting for me out here this whole time?"

"Well yes, I wasn't sure if I'd be welcome back into your shop today, after what happened."

He said it so casually as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Why?"

"So I could walk you home of course!"

"I can walk myself, Mr. Morningstar."

You shouldered past him, but that phased him very little as he fell into step beside you.

"It's after hours, none of that Mr. Morningstar nonsense, surely it'd be appropriate to call me Lucifer now?"

You slowed to a stop, sighing as you turned to him.

"If I do, will you leave me alone."

"For tonight, yes."

"Then thank you, Lucifer, but I'd really like to walk myself home."

His excitement over you finally saying name canceled out your dismissal of him, and he smiled widely.

"Well then a deal's a deal, I'll see you tomorrow my dear!"

And just like that he was strolling away, you stared after him a moment before shaking your head and going on your way. That didn't stop the ghost of a smile that graced your lips though.

~

True to his word he did come the next day, and the day after that, and every day since. By the end of the month you'd gotten so used to having him around you began to look forward to the lunch breaks you'd take with him, the evenings he'd walk you home, and you'd pretend not to notice he guided you the long way just to talk longer.

It'd become so normal for you that when he abruptly stopped coming one day you grew worried. He'd never been late before, and you'd received no text nor call. Given your past, your thoughts began to darken, perhaps he'd decided to leave you like everyone had.

Really could you blame him?

It had to be you if everyone kept disappearing from your life. You were so lost in your harsh thoughts you didn't even realize you were crying until your eyes began to burn. You wiped the tears away harshly, scolding yourself for being so weak.

"You were fine on your own before, and you'll be fine now." You firmly told yourself, but you had trouble believing your own words.

When had you allowed yourself to start relying on Lucifer?

The bell above the door chimed, and you turned around surprised. Lucifer stood in the doorway, shrugging off his drenched coat to hang it on the hook in the wall. He fixed his hair with one hand holding a bag in the other. He was soaked from head to toe, probably from the downpour outside.

"I'm terribly sorry I'm so late darling, I wasn't expecting the rain and got- Oh."

You had abruptly hugged him, catching him off guard, but he placed a gentle hand to your back nonetheless.

"You'll get wet if you cling to me like that." He said softly.

"I'm sorry..." You spoke, stepping away from him.

"Oh no my dear, it's perfectly alright! I just didn't want you to catch a cold." Lucifer said quickly upon seeing your tears.

You laughed a little, wiping your eyes.

"That's not why I'm crying."

"Then what is it?" He asked carefully.

Seeing Lucifer standing there, drenched from the rain, looking at you so concerned made you suddenly feel very foolish. How could ever assume he'd just abandon you.

"It's silly now that I think about it... but you were late, and I thought... maybe you weren't coming back."

Your voice grew quieter towards the end and Lucifer let out a small sigh.

Not one of annoyance or irritation, but relief, and he walked over to you.

"Does this mean you don't want to be alone anymore?"

You thought for a moment, your insecurities were still there, the small fears, but you were more scared of not having Lucifer by your side anymore.

"I guess I wouldn't mind... if you wanted to stick around."

He smiled proudly and forgetting his earlier concern of you catching a cold, hugged you tightly, kissing the top of your head. The bag in his hand crinkled, and you pulled back to look at it curiously.

"Oh that's right! I got you a little gift!"

He held the bag out to you, and you opened it eagerly, your heart skipping a beat when you pulled out the book.

"Lucifer, this is... how did you find this?"

The book you held in your hand was one you'd been desperately searching for, but it was so rare you suspected you'd never find it, let alone afford it.

"I called in a few favors, a little gift to commemorate our time together. It's nothing really, you're always finding rare books for me."

You laughed a little running your fingers along the cover.

"But Lucifer this is..."

You laughed once more, throwing your arms around his neck as you hugged him tightly.

"It's amazing, thank you."

He smiled, hugging you back as he leaned into your touch.

"You're worth it my love."

..................................................................................

Tag List: @sallyp-53 @mizzezm @adira-secrets @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @gingernarwal @im-just-along-for-the-ride @lifeshortbro @measure-in-pain @emiwrites3reads @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @kelly-n-russell @aiofheavenandhell @beththedemonhunter

[impala666]

The One With The Monkey Part One: Marcel The Monkey

Here you go! Ross gets Marcel and Phoebe sings a depressing Christmas song! 

Friends Rewrite (masterlist) Last Part (part four, episode 9)

Four of you were sitting around Monica and Rachel’s kitchen table with a bowl of popcorn and a bowl of cranberries and you, Phoebe, and Joey were helping them make a strand of garland. You had work early in the morning tomorrow and even all day tomorrow, but thankfully all you could think about was Phoebe finally getting to perform holiday songs at Central Perk tomorrow night and all of you were going to watch and support her. “Guys, there’s somebody I’d like you to meet.” Ross who just happened to poke his head through the door like he lived there, but to be fair all of you kind of did that. Your jaw immediately dropped open when Ross entered and the cutest little monkey came in riding in on Ross’s back. 

“Wait, w-wait, what is that?” Monica asked, not sure whether she should step toward it or run away. 

“That would be Marcel.” Ross introduced the furry creature. “Wanna say hi?”

“Yes, please!” You shrieked when you ran around the table to take the monkey from Ross, and Marcel seemed more than happy to crawl down Ross and on to your shoulder. Your smile only grew when Marcel’s tail hung over your other shoulder. 

“He is precious, where did you get him?” Rachel asked as she watched the monkey relaxing on your shoulder. 

“My friend, Bethel, rescued him from some lab.” Ross explained while he took Marcel back from you, but you couldn’t help but shake your head at the fact that the poor little guy had to go through so many experiments and tests that he never had the say of just because of the species that he was. 

“That is so cruel.” You nodded in agreement with what Phoebe said, thinking she was on the right path. But boy, were you wrong. “Why would a parent name their child Bethel?”

“That was not what I expected out of you, Pheebs,” you said a little disappointed in yourself for getting your hopes up. You reached into the popcorn bowl and popped one in your mouth to prevent you from saying anything else. 

“Hey, that monkey’s got a Ross on his ass.” Chandler greeted his friend after he had stepped out of bathroom, and leaned against the back of Joey’s chair. 

“Ross, is he gonna live with you like in your apartment?” Monica couldn't help but ask an actual question out of concern for her older brother.  

“Yeah, it’s been kind of quiet since Carol moved out.” Which seemed like a very logical reason to go out there and get a pet that is completely out of the normal, you could totally understand Ross’s thought process on this one.

“Why not just get a roommate?” Monica asked, yet another great question.

“I think when you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kind of pathet…” After playing with Marcel’s tail, Ross realized the mistake he made when he saw all of you staring at him waiting for him to finish that sentence correctly. “Sorry, that's ‘pathet’ which is sanskrit for ‘really cool way to live.” 

**********

Finally, finally, finally, your day was over with. You toured the school that you were accepted to and have a very long 8 hour shift, so now it was time to kick back and see your weird and beautiful friend sing her set at Central Perk. As you walked into the building you were finally able to unclench once you felt the heat after just walking block after block in the freezing cold snow. “,and one about a snowman.” You heard Phoebe finish as she sat on the arm of the couch with her guitar on her lap. When they all see you enter all of them flashed you a smile in greeting, which you returned once you had hung your coat and scarf on the hooks by the door. After you had ordered your preferred hot drink of the day, you finally walked over to spend time with everyone. But apparently Joey wasn’t there yet. 

“Might want to open with the snowman,” Chandler told her. But you just looked at him confused. “Oh trust me, you don’t want to know.” Chandler promised once he saw the look on your face.

“Oookay,” you mumbled into your cup as you sat down on the couch arm next to Monica. “Hey, Joey,” you smiled once you saw him walking into the shop as he dusted off some of the snow that had fallen on him. Everyone joined in on your greeting him, while greeted everyone else also walking up to you, placing a hand on your waist and pecking you on the lips as your greeting. 

“So, how’d it go?” Monica asked Joey, wondering how his job interview for being Santa Clause went.

“I didn’t get the job,” Joey groaned in disappointment as he took off his coat and sat down in the chair next to you. All of you awed in agreement with his disappointment, while you leaned forward from your spot on the couch to rub his arm in sympathy. It was hard enough for him to get work as an actor, and now he didn't get the one job he got and looked forward to every year. Joey looked up at you with a sad smile while taking your hand while he sat backwards in his seat. 

“How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.” Ross couldn’t help but ask, Joey was really looking forward to that job. 

“I know!” You whined in agreement with Ross, “you were a shoe in, and you were so excited.” Plus he would make a really really hot Mr. Claus, but you decided to keep that piece of information to yourself.

“I don’t know. Some fat guy’s sleeping with the store manager. He’s not even jolly, it’s all political.” Joey added in on the complaining that just seemed unfair.

“I’m sorry, hon.” You rubbed his arm as you got to your feet. “Do you want some coffee?” You offered while giving him a hug and wrapping your arm around his neck. He nodded a yes, and you pecked him on the forehead before turning to the counter and ordering a coffee to cheer him up. 

“So what’re you going to be?” Monica asked. 

“I’m going to be one of his helpers, but it’s just such a slap in the face, you know?” He just couldn’t get past the way that he didn’t get the job that he knew that he was so right for. 

“Hey, do you guys know what you’re doing for New Years?” Rachel asked, causing everyone except you and Joey to groan just at the thought that none of them had dates. “Geez, what is wrong with New Years?” Clearly not liking that way that she was getting attacked. 

“Well nothing for you, you have Paolo. And it’s not a problem for Y/N or Joey either because they have each other. You don’t have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday.” Chandler explained to her as he walked over towards her. “The desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you have somebody to kiss when the ball drops! Man, I’m talking loud.” He finally just noticed that his voice was dramatically getting louder and louder with each sentence. 

“Well, for your information. Paolo is going to be in Rome this New Years, so I’ll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.” Rachel explained to the rest of you. “Well, except Joey and Y/N,” she grimaced at how lucky you two are while she watched Joey kiss you very sweetly after you brought him the coffee that you bought for him. 

“Yeah, you wish,” Phoebe added in where her comment didn’t really make sense. 

“It’s just that I’m sick of being victim to this Dick Clark holiday.” Chandler wowed. “I say this year, no dates. We make a pact, just the seven of us. Dinner.” Everyone seemed to be in agreement.

“How can it be no couples in the seven of us when two of us are already in a relationship?” You asked him, retaking your spot on the arm of the couch. 

“Just don’t act like one, okay?” Chandler whined as he tried to reason with you and his best friend. “I know which will be hard for you because you two are gross.”

“Well, thank you,” you said taking it as a compliment. 

“Well, you’re welcome.” Chandler played back. “And I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.” Causing everyone into different forms of celebratory sounds. 

“Phoebe, you’re on.” Rachel warned her as she stepped onto the now stage to introduce her friend. “Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand. Miss Phoebe Buffay!” Rachel wooed as she and everyone else in the building applauded and Phoebe took the stage. 

“Hi!” Phoebe said into the mic. “Yeah, hi. I want to start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year.” You smiled watching in wonderment as Chandler leaned against the side of the couch next to you. Phoebe jingled some bells before she officially started her song. “I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitching.” Phoebe started to sing what sounded like was going to be a nice, cool Christmas song, but you should have know better by now that it would take a drastic and depressing turn. “How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?” And immediately your smiling face turned into an uncomfortable and disturbed face, which you shared when with Ross and Monica. 

Now the mood in the coffee shop that was once filled with Christmas cheer was now filled with a depressing silence. Phoebe’s song was far from over, making everyone very depressed and just staring off into space. Rachel was sunk down in a chair, Chandler took your spot on the couch arm, and you were sitting on Joey’s knee with your head resting on Joey’s head with the look of deep sadness on your face. “My mother’s ashes, even her eyelashes are resting in a little yellow jar. And sometimes when it’s breezy, or I feel a little sneezy, and now. Excuse me!” Phoebe stopped singing which made you wake up a little tiny bit, and she started yelling at the rude, loud talking men. “Excuse me! Noisy boys? Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?” She asked them, like a teacher catching a few of her students passing around notes during class. 

“No, no. That’s okay.” The nerdy guy in the flannel told her. 

“Ohhh they’re in trouble.” You whispered with a little smirk on your face. Chandler looked at you with a similar smirk, as well as Joey and Rachel next to you. 

“Well come on, if it’s important enough to discuss while I’m playing then I assume it’s important enough for everyone else to hear.” Phoebe argued back over at Flannel. 

“Well, that guy’s going home with a note.” Chandler told the three of you with a bit of a scared look on his face. 

“Could you speak up please?” Phoebe asked very close to the microphone when the other guy in the sweater started mumbling out his reasoning for interrupting her. 

“Sorry,” the guy in the sweater stood up. “I was saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I’d ever seen in my life and then he said that you thought that Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he’d ever seen in his life. And I said, “Yeah I liked her in Splash a lot, but not so much in Wall Street, I thought she had a hard quality. And, um, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way you are luminous with a kind of delicate grace.” The guy paused after realizing he just said in public. “Then that’s when you started yelling.” After he finished the guy in the sweater sat back down in his seat. All of you turned towards Phoebe to see what her reaction was going to be.

“Okay, we’re going to take a short break.” She announced while setting her guitar down on the stand so that she could go talk to that man that said all the nice things about her. 

“That guy’s going home with more than a note.” Joey announced with a sneaky smirk on his face.      

[morsking]

Got around to starting and finishing Old World Blues in the past couple of days. I think it’s the strongest of the game’s DLC I’ve played so far.

At first, it feels like you’re in for some wacky science fiction b-movie shenanigans once you’re introduced to the Think Tank. They’re all whimsical idiots who forget what words are, repeat themselves to elongate their sentences to look smart, and even one of them is bizarrely horny and has a fetish for... innocuous human behavior? Stretching? Yawning? They are neurotic brains in machines who take stuff apart and break it without really creating anything with it, just replicating the same results over and over and none of them seem to notice how stupid they are and it’s amazing. They took your brain, spine, and heart out of your body in an attempt to turn you into a walking vegetable, only for them to become so fascinated with the damage you took from Benny’s bullet that they fuck up the surgery and end up finding a way to keep your intelligence about you with a remote device that connects your brain to the tesla coils in your skull. Their biggest scientific discovery since... who knows how fucking long, was an absolute accident. It could only come about by chance, because you, as an existence alien to the static Big MT, shook things up tremendously. 

But as funny and baffling as all these things could be, the more you explore Big MT, the more apparent it is that for all their quirks the Think Tank are also responsible for some of the most heinous crimes against humanity you can witness in Fallout: New Vegas. They experimented with carnivorous, parasitic plants on human beings, spliced humans, dogs, and robots together, developed nightstalkers and cazadores you see in the base game, used the Sierra Madre casino and its inhabitants as a petri dish for holograms, the claustrophobic hazmat suits, and the poisonous Cloud that killed everyone and turned them into zombies. Their experiments killed all their staff, and not one of them batted an eye to what they did. And their most shocking crime is the repetition of Japanese internment with Chinese hostages, who you can find ghoulified from radiation and are forced to kill them. These prisoners can’t be reasoned with or saved because the Think Tank stripped them from their humanity long ago along with any humanity or rationality that was left in the Big Empty. The only thing they can do as being robbed of their humanity is lash out at anything that still looks human. All throughout the DLC, you are subjected to displays of the Think Tank’s obsessions and cruelties and aimless ambitions, and you wonder why. How did things get this twisted and distortioned? And then you meet Dr. Mobius, and you find out why.

In his introductory segment when you start the DLC, he seems like the parody of the crazed mad scientist terrorizing the slightly less crazy eccentric scientists and the bastard who kidnapped your brain. But when you meet him, he’s like a sweet, confused, senile old man. He’s got an endearing if a little weird addiction to radioactive snacks despite him being a brain in a machine who has no mouth to eat them. He forgets he keeps a giant killer robot scorpion with a OHKO death laser of infinite... death powered on and sucking up energy all the time and that’s why his shit never works. He uses the wrong words on his sentences because they sound like the actual words he means to use. He didn’t just steal your brain, he kept it safe for you. And also, he’s the one who lobotomized the Think Tank into the witless abominations they are now. 

Dr. Mobius witnessed his co-workers, his friends, pushing the boundaries of science further and further into dark places. Terrified for what they might do, he robbed them of their sanity and created an army not to terrorize them, but to keep them busy and from getting out. Dr. Mobius feared for the world, that it might be subjected to one new horror after another. There is great compassion in his actions but also great cruelty. He was so afraid of his friends the new world he trapped them in the old one. That’s where obsession and abhorrence belong, in the big emptiness of the past. It’s so appropriate, that Big MT is misread as “the Big Empty”. Because obsession and madness are an abyss, and also because everything that happened there was meaningless and hollow. There was no purpose to the Think Tank repeating its process of lobotomizing and observing the lobotomites. The great irony is that. That they don’t realize that what they do to human beings is what’s been done to them. Like the nature of all their names, their actions and their philosophies are cyclical and self-consuming. (Ouro)Borous. Zero. (Man)Dala (circle in Sanskrit), 8, Klein and Mobius. They are concepts that loop into themselves, symbolic of the futility of holding on to the grudges and ambitions of the Old World, a world that new only conflict and supremacy and paranoia and hostility. The fact that Mobius had to resort to brainwashing his own colleagues itself is evident even he didn’t know how to let go of the brutal utilitarian methods of the Old World in an effort to save the New One.

And what’s even worse is that didn’t matter anyway, because the mutated abominations that Borous created still found their way into the Mojave anyway. Are we supposed to accept that as a mercy that night stalkers, spores, and cazadores are the only things that slipped through the crater into the desert and be thankful for it? The only thing you can do about it now is say “Enough.” Enough of the Old World and its curses. It has no right to turn this world into a graveyard with it. It has no write to take from it and toy with it. Many times that attachment is played for laughs in Old World Blues, particularly Borous’s anti-communist fixation and enactments of his high school trauma being the basis for a training operation. But when you truly look at it it really feels like gallows humor. How many people do you reckon died in those tests at Lab X-8 because he used the test subjects as a means of catharsis? What was the human cost of that myopic insecurity and resentment? You only have to look around you. The facility is littered with guts. And it’s not the only one that looks like that. Not by a longshot.

So it came my time to also say enough to the Think Tank. I chose to kill them (more like stumbled my way into killing them because you have to thematically cycle through speech and skill checks for Mobius to give you the option of sparing everyone). It was both a roleplay gesture of revenge as much as it was a choice from me as a player to put the Big Empty out of its misery. It was already a graveyard in concept, it had to be made a graveyard in reality.

So that’s it for my review of the story. As for the more physical aspects of the DLC, I’ll say the Big Empty is probably the most interestingly designed setting I’ve ever seen. From the moment I woke up at the top of the Sink’s balcony I fell in love with what I was seeing. The layout includes some interesting platforming and traversal of the terrain from labs to cliffs to caves. Every laboratory houses something useful for you or relevant to the story and it’s easy to circle around the entire map and unlock everything as you go. The exploration comes naturally and you’re always encouraged to go back and look to see if you missed something (which you probably did, because it sure happened to me). One of the best things I found was the stealth suit. I’ve written about it already, but it is simply adorable, quirky, and also very helpful. Getting all its upgrades is worth it and not all that difficult even if it looks like a case of trial and error. There are some neat unlockables in terms of weapons as well like the stuff Elijah and Christine left behind, and lore that elaborates on their time there and Christine’s chase of Elijah to make him pay for his crimes. There is also the excellent set-up of your encounter with Ulysses in Lonesome Road, since he’s left his mark everywhere for you to see, as if luring you and taunting you. The dialogue is some of the wittiest and funniest Fallout’s ever been. The personalities in the Sink’s assistant appliances are so varied and interesting. You have the weirdly horny and seductive seed processor, the germaphobic water sink, the pessimistic and exhausted Muggy mini securitron, the jealous bickering light switches, the radio man juke box, the brave little toaster that could (murder everything), the ultra-patriotic and self-unaware book chute, the compassionate level-headed Auto-Doc, and finally the neutral, loyal, and polite Central Intelligence Monitor. Old World Blues had such an interesting and loveable cast. There is not a single human character in the entirety of the DLC, yet all of those feel vivid and alive. 

Those are my two cents on Old World Blues. A beautifully written, poignant, and entertaining piece of gaming. Now, we move on to Lonesome Road. 

[elisaphoenix13]

Far From Home Ch.1

This will contain Spiderman: FFH spoilers! You have been warned! I also recommend reading Conflict before this if you haven't already!

"Extra change of clothes?"

An annoyed sigh. "Yes."

"Toothpaste?"

"YES."

"Your suit?"

"Oh my God! Mom! I'm not taking my suit with me on vacation!"

Peter throws his nanotech bracelet onto his desk and Stephen frowns. The sorcerer had been extremely suffocating the past couple of days because Peter was going on a trip to Europe and his Mama Bear side wasn't happy. It didn't matter that Stephen could open a portal in a matter of seconds. He took his maternal role a little too seriously sometimes.

"You know how Tony is about you not wearing--"

"I'll have my phone!"

Stephen narrows his eyes. "Do you have--"

"Okay! Bye!" Peter pushes the doctor out of his room and closes the door, and when he looks back to his open suitcase, he laughs when he finds Tibbs sitting in the middle of it. "Sorry buddy. You can't come." The kitten mews pathetically when Peter moves him and closes the bag before setting it by his bedroom door. "You have to be good for Mom and Dad okay? Especially Mom. I'm sure he's going to go crazy."

Tibbs meows in response as Peter grabs his plane ticket and passport, gathering the rest of  what he needs before grabbing his bag, leaving his room, and dragging it down to the elevator where Tony stands waiting. He thankfully didn't hover like Stephen had been, but he probably figured that the sorcerer was doing it enough for the both of them. In fact, the engineer tried to calm Stephen down and distract him from hovering for the past couple of days.

"Ready kiddo?"

Peter looks around. "Where's Mom?"

"Down in the garage waiting."

Peter raises an eyebrow but says nothing until Tony reaches for his bag with his right hand and the teen holds his hand out to stop him. The billionaire was still adjusting to his scarred side and sometimes forgot that it wasn't as strong as it used to be. Tony drops his arm after staring at it for a few quiet moments and instead guides his son to the elevator so FRIDAY can take them down to the garage. When they arrive, they find Stephen leaning against a car Peter only assumed he and Tony would be taking to the airport, and the engineer pops the trunk open. After the teen stows his luggage inside, Tony closes it back up as Mama Bear gets in some last minute fussing. Namely, a very long hug that even Peter wanted to get out of.

"Mom...its just two weeks."

Stephen smirks. "Two weeks of no cub cuddles." He laughs when Peter turns in his arms and tries to get away (mostly as a joke because if he really wanted to get away, he would have no problem) before finally releasing him. "Don't come crying if you need me later."

Tony snorts as he opens the driver side door. "Stephanie, you and I both know that's an empty threat. You will drop everything for him."

"Well he didn't know that." The sorcerer huffs out.

"Yes I did. It isn't exactly a secret." Peter says with a smug smile on his face and Stephen pushes him into the passenger side of the car. 

"Behave. Have fun." Stephen says as he rounds the car to give Tony a kiss. "Be careful." He says quietly and then glances at his husband's arm. The arm that Tony lifts to grab the back of the doctor's neck.

"If it acts up, I'll ask FRIDAY to take over."

"Oh, I was talking about Peter."

Tony barks out a laugh and gives Stephen another kiss. "Of course you did asshole."

He ducks into the car and drives off to the airport, and when he pulls up to Peter's gate, Tony gets out with him and joins him at the trunk. As his son retrieves his bags, Tony pulls a small case out of his pocket and hands it over to the boy who looks at it with confusion.

"What is this?" Peter takes the case and opens it up to find a pair of glasses. 

"Just in case." The teen gives him a look. "I know and see that you're not wearing your suit, so just humor me alright?"

"Dad, I have my phone--"

Tony sighs. "Peter...please." Hearing his name from his adoptive father got Peter's attention. Tony only ever used it when he was serious. "I lost you once."

I can't lose you again went unsaid,  but Peter heard it anyway and closes the case before stuffing it into his carry on bag. He hugs the elder man and feels the man land a kiss on the top of his head before they part and the teen heads into the building after an exchange of 'I love you's'. Peter goes through security on auto-pilot and eventually snaps out of his daze when he reaches his gate and finds his classmates sitting around in uncomfortable chairs. The teen grins when he notices an open spot next to Ned, and he walks over to drop into the seat, startling the other boy from his phone.

"Took you long enough. Dr. Strange wouldn't let you go?" Ned asks with a knowing smile.

"You know how much I like hugs and stuff right?" Peter starts.

"Uh, yeah."

"I wanted to get away." Ned laughs and Peter slumps in his seat. "Just when I thought he couldn't be any more suffocating." He looks at Ned and holds up his phone. "So what was this plan you wanted to talk about?"

"Oh! Right! Us!" Ned starts excitedly. "Us roaming Europe as bachelors! Europeans love Americans!"

Peter opens and closes his mouth before deciding to pinch the bridge of his nose. A habit he unconsciously picked up from Stephen. "Ned. You're forgetting a small little detail."

Ned gives him a funny look and then realization dawns on the darker male. "Holy crap. I forgot you're dating Ant-man's daughter--"

Peter shushes him and looks around to make sure no one was listening. "Secretly, Ned! Our parents don't know and we kind of want to keep it that way!"

"Dude, you still haven't told them?" Peter slaps the back of his friend's head. "Ow!"

"Have you met my parents and Scott?" Peter hisses. "Scott will try to maim me and Mom will wipe the floor with him for trying and that's just chaos we don't need!"

"Okay okay! Avenger parents are a lot crazier." Ned placates the vigilante and rubs the back of his head.

Peter mumbles under his breath and they talk about their plans as they wait for their flight, board the plane, and MJ climbs over them to take the window seat. The vigilante motions his hands when the girl steps on his legs to get to her seat and then rolls his eyes when she ignores him to grab a book out of her bag. Ever since the attack on Midtown years ago (but what felt like months for them), she had allowed herself closer to Peter and Ned and it got to the point where their friendship was similar to the boys. She had no problem barging into Peter's bedroom whenever she and/or Ned spent the night, and it usually ended up with her throwing something at his head to wake him up. It happened way too often and Tony didn't do anything because he thought it was hilarious. Stephen didn't either, but he at least didn't laugh.

"Hey, Stark Junior. Your girlfriend is texting you." Michelle says and waves Peter's phone around in her hand. The vigilante gapes and shoves his hands into his pockets before blushing and snagging his cell back. 

"How did you even get that?"

"Easy. You were zoning out and I took it out of your hand. She's cute...so why is she with you?"

Peter wrinkles his nose. "Dude...ow."

Ned snickers from his other side. "He's asked himself that same question twice already."

"Just for that, I'm not translating for you guys in Venice." Peter snarks.

MJ's eyebrows fly toward her hairline. "You know Italian?"

Peter shrugs. "Yeah. May spoke a little bit, and now Dad drilled it into my head. It was kind of hard not to pick it up when he speaks it a lot."

"Oh yeah...Dr. Strange's kink." Michelle says dryly and Peter gags.

"Don't say kink. I already walked in on them once and I'm traumatized for life."

"Did your parents teach you any other languages?" Ned asks. At least with him he was always genuinely curious so Peter didn't always feel the need to hit his fist against his forehead in hopes that it would knock him out.

"French, Spanish, German...Mom is teaching me to read Sanskrit." Peter counts off with his fingers.

"Wow. I'm actually impressed." Michelle says.

Their conversation stalls as the plane takes off and MJ turns her attention to her book while Peter and Ned entertain themselves with PC games for a couple of hours. Ned actually played them for most of the flight, but Peter had started to nod off halfway through the flight. He had been too excited last night to get much sleep and it also didn't help that Tibbs caught onto his excitement and demanded the teen to play with him whenever Peter actually managed to fall asleep. He tried to shut his eyes for a little while, the commercial plane not nearly as comfortable as Tony's private jet, but he managed until MJ shook him awake. The vigilante gasps out quietly at the disturbance and finds both his friends looking at him with some worry. Well, Ned was. Michelle was doing a really good job of hiding it if she even was worried.

"Wh-what? Are we there?" He asks.

"No. You were flinching in your sleep." MJ whispers. Peter was about to ask why she was whispering but a quick glance around the cabin showed that the lights were dimmed. "We were afraid you would start screaming."

"Were you having a nightmare? Ned asks.

Was he? He honestly didn't remember and he told them as such. He did thank them for waking him up though. The last thing they needed was for him to make all of the plane occupants panic if he screamed in his sleep. The bit of shut eye he did get was enough to get him through the rest of the flight and through customs, and walking around Venice woke him up a little more. Peter was able to enjoy the little bit of sightseeing his class did before they made it to the hotel, and he almost laughed. If Tony had seen their accommodations, he probably would have had an aneurysm.

"Mr. Harrington is giving us time to rest before we head out again." Ned says as he drops his bag on the bed adjacent to Peter's.

"Good. I could use a nap without the fear of freaking other people out because I have nightmares." The arachnid zips open his suitcase and groans loudly when he finds his nanotech bracelet sitting on top of his clothes. "He is such a mom."

Ned joins him to see what he's looking at and laughs. "It's your own fault for giving him that role you know."

"Shut up Ned."

[chatoyantluster]

Future Skin Care Purchases  - work in progress

Updated as of 02/28/2019.

These are products I have not yet purchased, but I am highly interested in, and may or may not purchase, depending upon funds.

Oil Cleansers; Jullai Super 112 Bounce Cleansing Oil

Cleansers; Secret Nature Volcanic Ash Cleansing Water, Blithe's Anti-Polluaging Himalayan Pink Salt Cleansing Water, BENTON Tea Tree Cleansing Water, By Wishtrend Green Tea & Enzyme Powder Wash, Glow Recipe Blueberry Bounce Gentle-cleanser

Toners; Pyunkang Yul Essence Toner, ACWELL Licorice pH Balancing Cleansing Toner, I'm from Rice Toner, BONAJOUR Green Tea Water Bomb Toner, BONAJOUR Eggplant Daily BHA Toner

Mists; Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Ultra-Fine Mist, KLAIRS Supple Preparation Facial Toner

Masks; MANEFIT Natural Gift Green Tea Pore Care Sheet Mask, I'm From Series (Mugwort, Honey, Vitamin), Skinfood series (Egg White Pore, Freshmade Watermelon), Isntree Real Rose Calming Mask

Essences; NEOGEN Real Ferment Micro Essence, ATRUE Real Black Tea True Active Essence,

Ampoules; Yuripibu's Amaid Ampoule

Eye Creams; MISSHA MISA Geum Sul Giyoun Eye Cream, ERBORIAN Seve de Bamboo Eye Matte

Eye Masks; Secret Key Gold Racoony Hydrogel Series Eye & Spot Patch Set (Gold, Marine, Rose)

Moisturizers; Graymelin Black Food Nutry Cream, BONAJOUR EGF Time Recovery Solution Cream, Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Pink Juice Moisturizer

Sleep Masks; BONAJOUR Bio Active Resurrection Plant Night Cream, Glow Recipe Avacod Melt Sleep set

Lip Masks; KLAVUU Nourishing Care Lip Sleeping Pack

Body wash; KLAIRS Manuka Honey & Choco Body Soap, BENTON Dear My Best Friend Bar Soap, Isntree Tea Tree Therapy Body Wash

Lip Blams; HOLIKA HOLIKA Good Cera Super Ceramide Lip Oil Stick, innisfree Green Tea Lip Balm, innisfree Canola Honey Lip Balm

Currently researching DECIEM products because I really want to add them to my routine. But this is what I got thus far. The site is just SO confusing, with all the fancy names and ingredients.

NIOD is also a money pit, so once you dive into one product, I am sure you get the urge to get the whole lot. It is very much an investment, and will take me a long time to save for a bulk order (since they sell sets), or one at a time, while crying that I want the rest.

Hylamide;

SubQ Eyes; I have some serious dark eye circles, so I am always willing to try something to minimize this, and this looks interesting. I am slightly more interested in the NIOD version, but because of the pricing, would try this one first, unless I am feeling funds ballsy and jump into the other one first.

NIOD;

Copper Amino Isolate Serum; From reviews, this is supposed to be one of the best selling products from this line and concentrates on your overall skin's health. I confused it for the harmful copper, but this is supposed to be different, so after some research, I am more excited to try it.

Multi Molecular Hyaluronic Complex; I am assuming this contains the same ingredients as the Marine Hyaluronic and Hyaluronic Complex with B5 from my Google research, just into one bottle. May be worth purchasing this to bulk them together, instead of individual bottles. Seems to offer more benefit, even with the price tag, seems more cost effective in the long run. Since I seem to do fine with the MH, I will be replacing it with this, when I am done with the bottle. I can’t wait!

Modulating Glucosides; I have issues with sensitivity, irritation and itchiness, so this product seems interesting to help with those issues.

Flavanone Mud & Myrrh Clay & Mastic Must & Voicemail Masque; Fancy masks are fancy.

Lip Bio-Lipid Concentrate; Looks like some serious lip oil treatment, and I do have some majorly chapped lips, despite my heavy water drinking. It may be because I am on diuretics.

Low-Viscosity Cleaning Ester and Sanskrit Saponins; Having released there own version of the double cleanse, I may give this a try - only if I have extra funds, and I am not enjoying my current routine.

Ethylated L-Ascorbic Acid 30% Network; I am still confused about Vitamin C, and wonder if this is quite different, can use at same time, better, or worse then what I am using now, which is the COSRX Typle C Lightning Liquid.

Fractionated Eye Contour Concentrate; May be an upgrade from the SubQ Eyes, and honestly, for the price, it better raise Jebus. If the other doesn't work, I may be desperate enough to attempt this one for my dark circles.

Non-Acid Acid Precursor 15%; Supposed to be an alternative to peeling without using acid. I am still up in the air about trying this one out, because I am afraid of trying the more serious peels.

Superoxide Dismutase Saccharide Mist; Looks like a good, antibacterial, inflammation, hydrating mist. I was thinking of removing mists from my routine, since I can’t mist throughout the day because of sunscreen, but this actually looks like it would be more beneficial in conjunction with all the other products, even if used once during your regular routine.

Re: Pigment; This has mixed reviews and is quite pricey, but I heard good things about this particular line and would be willing to give it a shot, as I suffer from a lot of hyperpigmentation.

Chemistry Brand;

Hand Chemistry, Extreme Hydration Concentrate, Heel Chemistry, Hyaluronic Concentrate, HA3 Hand Hydrator, Retin-Oil;

The hydrating hand and body oils seem to be the only interest for me in this line. I suffer from severe dry hands during the winter that can lead to Dyshidrosis, if I don't treat it properly. I often break out two times a year in the winter with this. Otherwise, I never had any issues with body/hand dryness. So I may opt for these products during the winter. I do suffer from hyperpigmentation from acne scarring on my back, and other parts of the body from scarring (I did a lot of rescue work for cats). I feel the Retin-Oil may help with this - but honestly, I am a big tattoo buff, so everything for me will eventually be covered by tats, so I never really invested in body care in terms of visual appeal. I just use regular ole black african soap lotion, and or Gold Bond for Excema, worked just fine to help with any pain for dryness.

As for their “reduce hair” line - I would never be interested in that (face, leg, arm pits). I was born with lucky genes I guess - which is quite odd, because all of my female Filipino relatives had insane body hair. But me... never had that much hair growth in the first place. Then I was placed on Spironolactone, and that almost obliterated the little growth I did have. I am talking about, I can go six months without shaving my legs, and it looks like I haven’t shaved in two days - very minor hair growth!

Fountain; I honestly don't take supplements, I only recently decided to do a multi-vitamin and take zinc for my acne. I also do Kachava shakes, and that has a lot of good protein.

AB Crew; This honestly just overall confused me and I don't think I would use any of these products. Though the AB Carving Gel and Shredding Oil look interesting if you wanna strut your stuff along the water. I do have issues with cellulite and stretch marks, but I feel their aren't any topical products that could ever correct this issue, you would have to get it surgically done. Many products claim to rid these, but it is just not possible without a professional. I am sure with long term use, you can diminish it - as I tried to do once with coconut oil when it was all the rage - but I never saw much difference, even after a few years - I used pure virgin coconut oil as well.

[what-ever-happened-to-chip]

Marcus/Lana story I wrote, takes place after Gray had his freak out in the kitchen in the last story.

Marcus didn't release my hand the entire walk to his bedroom. He pushed the door lightly shut and dug in his deep pockets for his cigarettes. Marcus' hands were soft from lack of doing just about anything with them and his bulged knuckles locked safely between mine. Although he always loved to talk, it seemed like now he didn't just want to, he needed to. "Heyaa...you alright?" Gotta start somewhere Lana. "Yes would be a vague statement on the matter, but yes I am ultimately okay." He exhaled the thick Pall Mall smoke. He gave me a reassuring smile. "Any incidence like the such can shake someone, we are all made to preserve our mind and body and to see both at jeopardy leads essentially back to our own selfish motives of survival. A crass reminder, but a neccesary one." "Yeah I guess I'm sorta used to it being in camp by now. I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing." "Would you excuse me for just one moment, dear." He gently placed my hand on my own knee. As he swiftly exited the room, I could feel the warmth leave my hand. My eyes gazed around his room. He was neatish, but very cluttered. Spread across his desk was piles of notebooks and books, notecards with his immaculate penmanship jotting ideas, overflowing ashtrays 90% pall mall filters. His closet was packed to the brim with blazers, cardigans, many dulled colors of the rainbow mismatched together. He loved clothes and took the pride to dress up in his own unique fashion everyday. These thoughts made me love him more. 'THIS IS BOOOORING, she's just sitting there, let's follow Marcus and see what he's doing until she gets back." "Perhaps he is only using the faciluties." I was gonna show him wrong, check and mate, camera engaged to Marcus, and bam, harry was right. Marcus at a reasonable fast pace, hands in pocket, walked down the stairs and turned the corner on to the third door on the right. He gently knocked and called out, "Denny, would this be a bad time to inquire for your time?" "Uh shit, hold on.." "Oh my god Aiden don't, he'll see" "Babe, it's cool, chill..." "whisper whisper....whisper" The door swung open. Jenn was rearranging loose strands of hair while trying to hold the comforter over her exposed bra. She was always jealous to give up alone time with Aiden, but Marcus was his friend and he needed a best friend, especially a cool one like Marcus. "Whatchu need homes?" "Would you be able to spare a gram for the night, a sharp too? I have been outta stock at the present time. "Yeah fer sure, if Joni hasn't fucking washed me out. For a bitch that can get free drugs whenever she wants, she seems to never have any of her own shit. Gray has ghosted the bitch so she's crawling around my shit these days." In a little flower shaped box, Jenn had lovingly gave all Aiden's "shit" a proper place to live in the bedroom. No twice used needles in her perfect little world. Marcus laughed in his head at the concept of a girlfriend being more worried about the physical mess of addiction rather than the cause it had on the boyfriend in case. However, the only annoyance drugs had in Jenn's life was it meant Aiden would talk to his friends more. Aiden held out the box like a bowl of candy and Marcus proceeded to pick out a 1/2 inch rock and assorted tools for the activity. "Thank you good friend, we'll converse tomorrow. Goodnight, Jenavieve." Most of Aiden's friend didn't bother acknowledge Jenn, it felt good that Marcus always at least gave her a greeting or a goodbye, sometimes both. They hugged each other tightly, for almost a full minute. Aiden rested his head on Marcus's shoulder like a toddler. Marcus closed his eyes and held a soft smile. Harry was bored. Thank god he was finally leaving. Oh fuck. "Ayyye ya Marcus, how ya doin?" Harry boringly sat through another 20 minute conversation him and Gippal had about dead romantic languages. This was so stupid, he never thought he hated Gippal until this moment. "Of course, to interpret any eastern religions, namingly Hinduism, Buddhism would never be the proper message without rudimentary knowledge of traditional Sanskrit, we could only roughly use Hindi to roughly define it, but well, jo hai no hai." They both let out pretentious laughs. "Well yeah, but couldn't ya say that about dead greek, latin, and all the like? Lots of those Christian fanatics like to use Latin instead of language, makes it deeper er something like that." he leaned back and clicked his tongue for no apparant reason. "Well fanatic indeed is the key word their, seemingly Christianity's domination of the whole western world led to Latin's prevelance yet today, however Sanskrit is actually still spoken as a live changeble language. The difference between a dead language lies not in the fact their are speakers still, but rather the ability to alter and update language to our modern needs." "I guessum, but maybe the inflexibility makes the language more understandable, certainly easier to learn, hell, sed quid scio?" "Clearly you know a great deal, my friend." This was so gay. Harry couldn't give a fuck about language or latin or anyone of it. He knew some Latin cause of his spells, but he didn't need to speak it. Just speak English, i'm sick of having to put on the translators just to get a joke. Oh thank god they are finishing up. Finally. "Indeed somethign to think about. Very well, Satyricon amicus~" "Oib, oib. facile accipere pitto" "I detect by your accent shift that was Al Bhed?" "oui kud ed syh, hmmm, lmajan" "That's just it, written Al Bhed is an easy cryptograph, so I am more or less fluent there, but spoken I have not quite grasped the dialect." "You got it man, just like any other, you gots to talk with it. Yer good at talkin so it shouldn't be no problemo" "Indeed so, I only find it would be fair to speak Lana, and your, natural language, makes for better conversation to speak the way another thinks." "How's that girlie doin' these days?" "Oh quite well, but to know for sure i'd better get back to her company" "Do yer thang man, I gotta work on some....." he began muttering whatever bullshit to himself and pacing away. Fucking finally he proceeded back to where Harry wanted him. That was super annoying.

The slouched Lana perked up at the sight of him returning. She'd paced the room and looked through his writings, he didn't ever have a concern for privacy and if he did he would never  tell her, he would merely just keep it a secret. She was used to being patient when it came to Marcus. He wasn't neccesarily easily distracted, but easily engaged in whatever was around him. She hated herself for being disappointed that he brought back H. "I'm sorry I kept you so long darling, as we rest society continues to thrive." He used many pet names with people, however darling he seemed to save for more special situations. She felt more relieved. It was cute seeing them together, but Harry wanted more. He needed more. "Fuck this i'm drugging her to ask him questions, i hate waiting for the bitch to do something. " "Indeed so Harry Potter." As much as Harry loved the sound of his own name, it was starting to bother him the way Christian kept saying it, like he was mocking him. Harry opened a secret cabinet to the left of the monitors and began scanning around for the proper potion to guide the situation into what he wanted. "Mmmmmm I think I'll use a dash of love, a bit of truth....." He busily mixed away. Christian sat completely still, but scanned the room thouroughly with his eyes. "That's the magic touch! Okay this should make her start asking him things that might make things funner..mwah haha...." "More fun." "Excuse moi?" "Funner is not a proper word. The expression would be 'more fun'" This guy was really getting on his fucking nerves. Ugh. He placed the potion in the vaporizer, isolated to only work on Lana and pumped it through the vents of Marcus's room. Immediatly the effects engaged. Lana uncontrolablly began to talk before comprehending fully what she had thought. "I thought you weren't using lately?" Oh god she sounded like a bitchy controlling girlfriend, but she really was just curious. Who was she kidding she was bothered and she didn't know why. He never got annoyingly high, he always coasted at a light level, stayed attentive and active in the conversation. Since the day she met him he was a drug user so why now would she want it to change? She truly hated being 'this girl.' Dammit. Why did she say that? "Of course I wasn't lately, but a break would not be a break if one did not return would it, just simply the way things were." He smiled warmly again and excused himself to the bathroom. He knew she didn't like watching him do it, so it was considerate of him, but a pang of loneliness ran over her. Moments later he returned a wave of contentment ran over him, yet she still wanted to talk. "So are you using because you got by upset by before?" Fuck Lana, why do you keep saying these things? Stupid, stupid. "Perhaps there is a connection there, of course, any sitution like that not only is alarmingly in it's own right, it's probably the past associations I share like any human does. Familiar negative stimuli. And well comfort is occasionally do." He went silent and pondered on the wall for a moment. He beginning scurrying around behind his worn out recliner he spent the better part of his time in when he was alone. He pulled out a wooden guitar and begin picking random chords. "Sure, it just seemed you....whatever. I don't know what I'm saying." "Lana dear, are you feeling well? You seem to be rather confused in your sentiments. I mean that in no way condescending, really are you alright?" "Yeah I just wanna know you're okay I guess, not hiding." "I am well, however certain thoughts have the tendency to make one over think so i'd rather level my brain out and find a way to express it more productively." "I guess, but....." She wanted to be careful to not say anything else stupid, but all her thoughts felt like diarrhea spewing out of her mouth. She didn't even mean all the thigns she said, they were just stupid insecurities that passed though, they weren't her. Were they? Dammit, dammit.

"Lana i'd like to show you a song I had written a long time ago, one that reminds myself of this feeling."

Song

Harry was on the edge of his seat. He fucking loved when kareoke/watching people came together so neatly. He could feel his jeans get tight. Lana watched him intently, trying to catch every word, tears welled in her eyes and she couldn't help but to fall even deeper. Fuck why does he do this to my head. "Wow that was......beautiful. I wish I was better  with words. That was...." As she rose from the bed, he moved the guitar aside to make a seat for her on his lap. they sat in silence for a moment as he rocked the chair back and forth to lull them. "Perhaps times where words are at a loss is when music is essential. Of course, I could say something, but well I figure it gets the point across." "hey Marcus, i was just wondering.....what are we?" His eyebrow raised in genuine confusion and turned her on his lap to be face to face. "What are we you ask....as in the title given to the intimacy we share? We've been over this dear, I've never needed the security of labels to define what I share with the ones in my life." "I mean yeah. I know.......but Liza wasn't she your girlfriend, what made her different. I mean I get it if you felt a different way....but I guess after all this time, I don't know. I'm being stupid." "Stupid? No never, what possibly gives you that idea? Oh Liza.....yes my 'girlfriend' Liza, a term she demanded be told to all our companions to solidify her insecurity with the situation. I honestly felt that it made no difference  other than the way other's view a connection, but the power of word does hold a weight in our lives. Language is a strong tool, but not the only one, of course. Could you elaborate what it is you desire from this?" Lana's cheeks flushed. Jesus is this how Memo felt every time she talked to a boy? This is horrible, no wonder she doesn't like dating. "I guess it's not always I need to know, just sometimes you seem you forget about me. Like your devotion... wow that's a gay word....comes and goes." She felt even stupider now, why couldn't she stop talking? It was like diarrhea coming out of her mouth. Fat chance he's gonna like me the same after this. I'm just the same insecure girl he's met 100 times. "Lana I wish you would tell me your first reaction rather than the contrived one you think I wanted to hear. This isn't like you." His eyebrows began to tighten into a concerned look. "Talk seems like it might only make you feel more minimilized, here let me play your song again. It seems our memories don't always stay constant in this camp. I know I had a memory of playing it, but it's as if someone erased it from our minds to try and relive the experience." He briefly glanced directly into the camera. Fuck he was on to Harry. How did he know that he purposely erased it so Marcus could sing it again like the first time? Whatever, it was working exactly how Harry wanted. Bingo.

Next Song

Two songs in my watching. Harry was rock hard. This was good so good. "Damn that was so CUHH YOOOT! You know they're your fav couple now too J, just admit it." "J?" "I didn't say that, why would I be thinking about J? He's actually gotten pretty boring and annoying, i say Jay like the name, it's a nickname we used at hogwarts to mean friend." "You do not need to lie to me Harry Potter, the results are futile." Lana pulled Marcus's hand and led him to the queen bed in the middle of the room. The slowly began removing clothing and kissing softly. They proceeded to make love, not fuck, for many hours. Harry got shy and turned the camera off.

"Do you fear intimacy Harry Potter?"

"noooo I just think it gets boring when people just screw forever and don't talk about things. On that note Harry pulled his robe around his body and scurried away to the restroom.

Christian remained in his seat. Smiling.

[shystoryrebel]

Snowy January

Through the snowy January nightfall, upshots of thirty-one days snow fall, the news spread like a forest fire—the rumour or reality, nobody knows.  Something about Ayesha and a Pundit boy. Molested, hugged, romanced, love: none of them, sitting in a Madarsa after the Friday prayers, noon where the deodar trees stirred, covered with snow, cooling all, the cold breeze, hitting them, in frequent gush of decayed anger, their own stale breathing, knew exactly nothing what happened.

“He was Shankar Pundit,” said Maulvi Akbar. He was a young boy; a long, slim, fair-coloured boy with attractive features, who was counting the notes. “I know Shankar Pundit. He’s a shrewd pundit boy. And I know Ayesha too.”

“How do you know her?” a second teacher asked.

“What do you know about her?” a student asked. “A beautiful girl?”

“No,” the teacher said. “She is about thirty, she is divorced.”

That’s why she has no respect... “

“Respect, hell!” a bearded, strong built youth shouted. “Won’t you take a Muslim woman’s word before a pundit’s?”

“I don’t believe Ayesha will seduce a Pundit boy of twenty two.” The teacher said.  “I know Ayesha.”

“If women get old without getting married, their attraction for boys goes down---“Said Maulvi Akbar.

“I don’t believe anybody did ant-thing. Nothing happened.” I leave it to you to decide.

“Then you’re a hell of a pundit man,” the students muttered angrily.

“You don’t understand?” He said. “You accuse a Muslim woman a lie?”

The maulvi held the book, opened to teach to his students. He did not look around.

“It’s this cold weather,” another student said, “It’s enough to make any man hot do anything. Even to an old lady like Ayesha.”

All remained serious. Maulana said in his mulish tone: “I am’t defending the pundit boy. I know well and you fellows too, how a woman that never…”

“You damn kafir lover!” the student said.

“Shut up, paid rioter,” scolded the teacher. “We will first inquire about the incident and has enough time to act.”

“Nobody will touch him. The student murmured. “Facts, hell! I want him stoned to death. I am an expert stone pelter.”

“You’re comfortable with Hindu kafirs,” the student retorted. “Aren’t you?” You tell them Babur, “he said to the student. “You can add up on me, even if I am not only a muajjim and a stranger.”

“That’s right, students!” the teacher said. “Find out the truth first. I know Shankar Pundit.

“Shut up, Imran,” the second student said. “We have enough time to punish him.”

“Well, Allah!” the student shouted. “You think a kafir in this town…?”

Babur could not digest this. “Do you claim that anyone excuses a Hindu attacking a Muslim woman? You better go back to Vaishno Devi temple. Valley, Kashmir valley doesn’t want your presence here.

“Vaishno Devi what?” the second student said. “I was born and brought up in this valley.” He was baffled and shocked. He was ready for any tussle. He drew folded his sleeve. “Damm if I’m going to tolerate a Muslim woman---.”

“You tell them, Babur,” the muajjim said. Allah if they---.”

The main gate of the madrasa opens with a crash. A stoutly built man stood at the door, his long beard floating. He was wearing long black kurta, wore a round- skull cap. His hot, aggressive and violent looks created a sense of fear in the group. His name was Taimur. He was a local goon.

“Well,” he shouted, “You keep on delivering sermons and let a Hindu boy rape a Muslim woman on the streets of Islam Nagar?”

Getting support, the muajjim was very excited. His beard was floating like kabaylees. His armpits were stinking. “That’s what I have been telling them!” he repeated his hot tone.

“Did anything really happen?” third student asked. “Every time, everybody can’t watch her undress, on the river bank, like Shahrukh bhai says?”

“What?” a shocked student said. “What is that?” The teacher asked them to remain silent and pay attention to Quran and its teachings.

Aamir, flattered the third student. “You are waiting to happen?” Are you going to let the Hindu boys do what they like until you get evidence?”

“I am telling the same!” Aurangzeb shouted, cursing everybody.

“Here, here,” fourth student Nadir whispered. “Not so loud. Don’t talk so loud.”

“Right,” Aamir said; “no need of talking at all. It is enough of talks. Who’s accompanying me?” He rubbed his buttocks violently.

Maulvi Akbar silenced all. “First find out the facts students. I know Shankar Pundit. It wasn’t him. Let’s discuss with Haji ji and act accordingly”

Aamir angrily twisted his furious face. Maulana Akbar did not pay any attention to Aamir. They looked like Shia and Sunni sects. The other teachers pretended to be talking with the students. “You mean to tell me that you’d give more weight to a Hindu’s word over a Muslim woman’s? You damn kafir lovers---.” Aamir said.

Another student Laden rose and silenced Aamir: he too was also a local goon. “Now, enough is enough. Let’s figure out our action plan. Actually nobody knows, what actually happened.”  

“Figure out, my foot!” Aamir jerked his fists. “All there’re with me get here from here. The ones that ain’t---.” He stared his gaze and pushed his arms across the road.  

Four men rose. The students also got up. “Here,” they said, throwing their books; We are with him. We don’t want to live but by Allah, if our daughters and sisters and mothers---.” Aamir stood in the floor and abused other of enjoying free electricity and heating, donated by kafirs to keep the mouth shut. Another rose and moved with them. The leftovers sat awkwardly, ignoring one another and then one by one rose and joined the killing squad.

Maulvi collected the books from the floor. “Students, don’t attack him. Shankar Pundit can’t do it. I know him.”

Hot headed Aamir shouted, “Come on," He almost ran. From his long kurta pocket pulled out the butt of a heavy automatic revolver. They ran out. The madrasa door crashed be-hind them reverberant in the chill air.

Maulvi Akbar collected the books careful-ly and swiftly, and put them away, and ran to his room, and took his skull cap from the wall. "I'll be back soon as I can," he said to the other teachers. "I will help my people —" He went out, running. The two other Maulvis followed him to the door and accompanied him, leaning out and looking up the street after him. The air was silent and cold. It had a freezing cold at the base of the tongue.

"What can we do?" the first asked. The second one was saying "Allah ho Akbar," under his breath. "If he gets angry Aamir, today will be last day" “Allah ho Akbar," the second whispered.

"You think he really has relation with her.?" the first said.

II

She was thirty-one or thirty-two. She lived in a small-old house with her invalid brother and a thin, dirty, depraved uncle, where each morning, between five and six, she would appear on the roof covering her face with a hijab, to sit in the floor and listen the aarti from a Hindu temple. After dinner she takes rest for a while, until the afternoon began to cool. Then, in one of the three or four new salwar-kameej which she would go down-town to spend the afternoon in the local market with the other ladies, where they would bargain the prices in cold, pressing voices, without any fear of refusal by the sellers.

She was of at ease people— not the best in Muhammadabad, but liked by the sober people—and she ordinary-looking, with a brilliant, faintly faded manner and dress. When she was a student she had had a slim, nervous looks and a sort of rigidness which had enabled her to popular of the town's social life as epitomized by the farewell high-school party and jamat-social period of her age group while still children, without any class consciousness.

Very late she realized that she was maturing; that those among whom she had been a little attractive looks than any other were launching to learn the satisfaction of snobbery. But her face began to carry that dazzling but almost faded look. She still carried it to parties on dimly lit halls and summer lawns, like a cover, with that confusion and irate denial of truth in her appearance. One evening at a party she heard a boy and two girls, all school- mates, called her aunty. She stopped going to parties.  

She gazed at the girls with whom she had grown up as they married and got families and scores of children, but no man ever paid any attention on her steadily but the children of the other girls had been calling her "aunty" for many years. Their mothers told them in sarcastic tone about how fashionable Ayesha aunty had been as a girl. Then the backward going town began to see her moving on with Rama Shankar, a Sanskrit teacher in a college. He was a bachelor of about thirty-two —a fair-colored man, always smartly dressed. He owned the first Tata-NaNo car in town, saffron coloured. Ayesha was seated beside him wearing a designer burqa the town ever saw. Then the town began to curse her: "Shameless Ayesha!" "But she is matured enough to take care of herself," others whispered. She almost pleaded her schoolmates that the children call her "didi" instead of "aunty."

It was five years now since she had been branded as a bad character lady by public opinion, and four years since the teacher had gone to Akbarabad, re-turning for one day, each Diwali, which he spent with his friends in a temple. From behind their curtains the neighbors would see him pass, and during the across-the-street Diwali-day visiting they would tell her about him, about how well he looked, and how they heard that he was prospering in the city, watching with bright, secret eyes her haggard, bright face. Usually by that hour there would be the scent of perfumes on her breath. It was gifted her by her only friend. She was considered as immoral socialite aunty of corrupt civil society.

Her mother became very old and kept to her in the room altogether now; the bony aunt ran the house. Against those conditions, Ayesha bright dresses, her idle and empty days, had a reality of fuming worthlessness. She went out only with elderly women now. Each evening she dressed in one of the new dresses and went market alone, where her young cousins were already strolling in the late afternoons with their body wrapped in stinking burqas, tired heads and heavy, awkward arms and conscious hips, clinging to one another or staring and chuckling with naughty boys when she passed and went on along the tea shops, in the doors of which sitting and relaxing men almost ignored this single aunty, pining for their attention.  

Ill

The teacher, Maulvi Akbar went speedily up the street where the dim lights, insect-swirled, frowned in severe and vicious manner in the lifeless air. The day had died in a gloom of dust; above the gloomy square, chocked by the killing dust, the sky was sad as the inside of a grave. Below the east was a buzz of the twice-tamed moon.

When Maulvi Akbar passed them, notorious Aamir and three others were getting into an old jeep parked in the dark street. This jeep was used by Aamir to carry stone pelter in the valley. Amir roared with full might, “Anybody wants to leave, did you?" he said. "Damn good thing; by Allah, tomorrow when this town listened to about how you saved the honour of your faith”

"Now, now," Gazni said. "Dawood’s all right. Come on, friends; fast!"

"Shankar Pundit will never do anything wrong, boys," maulvi Akbar said. “Why, you all know well as I do there isn’t any town where they got better Hindus than us. And you know how women think about men when there isn’t any reason to, and Ayesha you know anyway? "

"Sure, sure," Gazni said. "We're just going to speak to him a little; that's all."

"Speak hell!" Aurangzeb said.  

"Shut up, in the name of Allah!" Gazni said. "Do you want everybody in town to know about everything?”

"Tell them, in the name of Allah!" Aamir said. "Tell everyone that'll let a Muslim woman eloping with a Hindu boy.”

"Let's go; let's go: here's the tempo." The tempo moved yelling out of a cloud of dust and black smoke at the street end. Aamir started his jeep and backed out and took the lead. Dust and smoke lay like smog in the street. The street lights dangle dim- floated as in water. They drove on out of town.

Old vehicles were creating ugly noise on rutted lanes. Dust and smoke engulfed it too. The dim bulb of the temple, where Shankar Pundit used to teach the downtrodden children in the evening, was unusually silent, perhaps, fearing some mishap. "Better stop a little before?" Gazni advised. Aamir did not reply. He slammed the tempo to stop, in the headlights; all were glaring for Shankar Pundit.

"Listen here, boys," Shah Rukh said; "if he's here, don't ask anything? If he was involved, he would run. Don't you see he would?" The tempo also came up and stopped. Aamir got down; Aurangzeb leaped down beside him. "Listen, boys," Shah Rukh said.

"Switch off lights!" Aurangzeb said. The wheezing darkness hastily engulfed the lanes. There was no sound in it save their breaths as they hunted air in the arid dust in which they rot; then the retreating chomp of Aamir and Aurangzeb’s feet, and a moment later Aurangzeb’s voice:

“Shankar. . . Shankar!”

Below the east the pale of the moon amplified. It lifted above the mountains, brightening the air, the dust, so that murdering mob breathe, live, in a sink of rotten lead. The night-bird was voiceless, so do insect, no sound except their panting and a faded tick of toning metal of the vehicles. Inside their impassive bodies crushing one another they seemed to be agitated dryly, for no more moisture came. "Allah!" a voice said; "let's get out of here."

They waited until blurred voices began to audible out of deadly darkness. They got out and waited tensely with heavy breaths in the dark. Aamir kept on abusing Shankar Pundit and Hindus. They all ran shouting, “Kill him, kill the kafir!”

“Not in the open,” Aamir said. “Pull him into the car.” They drag Shankar in. “Kill him, kill the pundit son!” the ruthless voices murmured. They dragged Shankar to the car. Maulvi Akbar had waited beside the jeep. He was feeling sick and low.  

“What is this, boss?” Shankar said. “What is my fault" Someone brought a long cable. They tied him. He submitted to the cable, looking swiftly and doggedly face to face, hoping to hear some kind word. "Who's here, boss?" he said, leaning to stare into the faces. He spoke a name or two. "What you-all say I done, Aamir bhai?"

Aamir pulled the door open and shouted, “Throw him in!".

Shankar did not stir. "What you- all going to do with me, Aamir Bhai? I haven’t done anything, I haven’t done anything: I swear ' in the name of Allah"  

The others struck him with regular blows and he spied and cursed them, and swept his tied hands across their faces and accidently hit Maulvi Akbar upon the mouth, and the maulvi struck him hardly. They pushed at him. He stopped struggling and lied quietly as all were hitting him. He lied between the maulvi and Gazni , coiled his body in so as not to touch them, his eyes going quickly and relentlessly from face to face. The jeep was running followed by the tempo.

"What's the issue? Daood?" Gazni asked.

"Nothing," Maulvi Akbar said. All laughed.  They drove towards the forest and turned away from town. The tempo came out of the dust. They drove on, gaining speed; the final glimpse of town left behind.

"Damm, he stinks!" Gazni said.

"We'll finish that," the man in front beside Aamir said. Shahrukh, suddenly moved forward and touched Aamir's shoulder.

"Throw out, kafir," Aamir said without turning his head. He drove speedily. Behind them the searching lights of the tempo glared in the dust. Presently Aamir turned into a narrow road. It too was bumpy in disuse. It led back to an old grave-yard, on the bank of river Jhelum. It had been used for grazing land.

"Shankar," Maulvi Akbar said.

"Throw him in the river, then," Aamir said, flinging the car along the furrows. Beside the Maulvi Akbar, Shankar spoke: "Aamir bhai."

Maulvi Akbar wanted to get down. Their action was like a dead boiler blast: cooler, but utterly dead. The jeep jumped from rut to rut. "Gazni Bhai," Shankar said. The Maulvi Akbar began to jerk frantically at the door. "Glance out, there!" Gazni said, but Maulvi Akbar had already kicked the door open and rolled out of the jeep. Gazni kicked Shanker furiously, and he swung out. The car went on without dropping the speed.

The force flung him rolling, through mud-sheathed wild plant, into the river. Dust winded about him, and in a deep, brutal crackling of lifeless marshy land he lay choking and gagged until the tempo passed and died away. He fluttered and tried to rise but collapsed.

The moon was clear, riding bright and clear of the worldly dirt and the town was frowning beneath. Shankar lost his consciousness, could not hear the sound of running vehicles and the blaze of dust behind them. Taimor’s tempo came last. Now one man was less in the jeep.  

They drove; the dust gulped them down; the glare and the noise died away. The dust hung for a while, but soon the eternal dust wrapped them up. Maulvi Akbar scaled back onto the road and limped on toward madrasa.

IV

As she dressed for dinner, on that Sunday evening, her own body felt like dancing. Her hands shook automatically, and her eyes had a bright sparkle, and her hair flew and crackling. While she was still dressing her friend reached and sat while she put on her very showy undergarments, stockings and a new red suit as if going to meet her beloved. "Do you feel hot enough to go out?" she asked. "When you have had time to get over the shock, I will tell you what happened. What he said and did; every- thing." All her friend was listening with bewildered astonishment.

In the leafed darkness, as she walked toward the mall road, she began to smile mysteriously, something like a socialite, getting her prey, until she ceased smiling. Both the friends walked slowly because of the terrible cold and due to her hilarious mood. But as they reached the mall she began to whistle, walking with her head up, holding her friend’s hand, looking at each other romantically, and glittering class of their eyes.

They entered the mall, took the corner seat, gorgeous in her transparent fresh dress. She was feeling young. She watched, as un-wed couples eat ice-cream, her head up and her eyes dazzling, fleeting the hotel and the scantily dressed  drummers in chairs along the curb around them, : "That's the one: see.? The one in saffron in the center." "Is that he? What did they do with Shanke? Did they—?" "Sure. He's all right." "All right, is he?" "Sure. He went on a little jaunt." Then the wine shops, where even the young men loafing in the entrance, casually dressed and chasing with their eyes the motion of her hips and breasts when she passed.

They went on, passing the rowdy boys, suddenly hushed silence, defensive, fear. "Did you notice?" the friend said. Her tone crashed like long hanging sighs of pain. "There's not a Hindu in the mall. Not one."

 They decided to go the movie-show-‘Page-3’. It was like a mini but artificial fairyland with its fashionable girls and bright presentation of life caught in its beautiful but dark metamorphosis. Her eyes and lips began to flutter. In the dark, when the movie was shown, she tightly gripped her friend’s hand. She hurried before other’s could see, without the feeling of amazement, and she took dozens of kisses and smooches on her friend’s face where she could see the hordes young men and girls sitting in two and two.  

The lights dimmed; only the screen lights visible, and fake life began to unfold, stunning and romantic but sad in real life. Young boys and girls sat, aromatic and romantic in the dimly lit hall, their paired backs in shadow, delicate, sleek, and their slim, beautifully young, kissing and embracing with the silver screen, inevitably on and on. They began to laugh. In trying to suppress their agony, it appears more abnormal than ever; heads began to turn. Still laughing, guards raised them and led them out, and they stood at the gate, laughing on a high, unrelenting note, until the taxi came up and they helped them in.

V

 It was almost midnight when Taimur drove up to the house of lovelorn Ayesha. It was orderly, clean and like a bird-cage. He parked and locked the jeep outside her house and entered. Shocked Ayesha rose from the bed beside the table-lamp. Taimur entered her room and stared at her until she looked down.

She stood before him, her face terrified, and an adult magazine in her hands. Her face became pale, strained, and fear stricken. "Haven't I told you not to talk kafirs?"

"Bhai!" she said. The magazine dropped from her hands. He glared at her with his hot eyes, his fierce face.

"Didn't I tell you?" He moved toward her. She moved back then. He caught her shoulder. She stood lifeless, looking at the debauch.

"Don't, Taimur. I am sick. . . . periods; please, bhai. You're slaughtering me."

Taimur violently removed her dress and the new under-garments and the stockings, and threw her to bed.

Suddenly, he pulled out the pistol. Ayesha became paralyzed. She opened her mouth but no word came out. He said, today was payback day. He said note down the time and day.

He took the pistol from his hip and laid it on the table beside the bed, and sat on the bed and removed his shoes, and rose and slipped his trousers off.

There was no movement, no sound, not even an insect. The dark world seemed to lie stricken beneath the cold moon and the lidless stars.

He pushed her, pinned her down, slapped her, bite her and hit her.

Taimur rubbed the pistol on the thighs of Ayesha. Ayesha shivered, and began to weep because she realized the penetration inside.

“Shut the slut up or I’ll shoot you.”

"Didn't I tell you?" He released her and half struck, half flung her across the bed, and she lay there and watched him quietly as he left the room.

Taimur was rough and violent. He spit on Ayesha. He stopped, zipped his pants, started the engine and drove away.

Ayesha stood dazed and confused, what had happened. Suddenly she stood and rushed out of her house, went straight to river Jhelum and jumped.

Next day devotees saw two dead bodies floating. One was of Shankar Pundit and other was of Ayesha.

Maulvi Akabar, his students and other faithful were there dazed and puzzled. With hushed discussion, puffing bidi in the fog.

While the ice was fresh and cold they stopped laughing and stood still for a time.  

"Shhhhhhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhh!" they said, seeing the ice-pack, smoothing their heads, examining it for story; "poor girl with a kafir!" Then to one another:

"Do you suppose anything really happened?" their eyes darkly glitter, secret and passionate. "Shhhhhhhhhhh! Poor girl! Poor Ayesha and shankar!"

[sundayeveningthoughts]

Scared Straight

Sunday Evening Thoughts

Dear Paul and Monica,

February 5, 2017

                                                  Scared Straight

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs 9:10

        Over the Christmas holidays, two old friends from college came by for a visit. Currently, one works in development at a small Christian college in Florida. He had taught journalism at the college and been the faculty advisor to the school newspaper for the last several years, but journalism, unfortunately is a dying major, and he started working in their Office of Development. His wife was a housemate of mine when we were in college – at Resurrection House.

        In catching up on old-times, he mentioned he had been writing a fiction novel for several years about life in a small town in rural Virginia (he is from a small town in Virginia, Clarksville, population 1,117). Trusting an old friend from another university to proofread his manuscript, he told me that his friend said it was excellent, but lacked one important element found in all great literature: fear.

        I’ve been thinking about the element of fear since he said that. Many great works of literature have fear as a characteristic of their story. Certainly, the Book of Revelation contains many examples of fear — fear of beasts with seven horns, fear of violent wars, and fear with blood-n-guts all over the place.

       Arguably one of the most famous Proverbs in the Hebrew scriptures is, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” I know of no reputable scholar who does not think the phrase “fear of the Lord” has more to do with respect and awe of greatness rather than to be afraid or extremely apprehensive.

        I’m not going to do much exegesis on “fear” in Hebrew, but like most words, I believe it does have an element to be afraid. The Hebrew word for “fear” (yirah) is derived from the Sanskrit word for fear in both sound and spelling. In the earliest historical uses of this word, it often connotes fear during bad weather with thunder and lightning; which, in ancient times was an action of the gods. Think Zeus with his lighting bolt or Jupiter, which means “Sky Father.”  Also, within Hinduism in the Vedic tradition, Indra is the God of Lightning, and his main weapon is the thunderbolt (Vajra).

        This etymology of fear makes perfectly good sense to me in context of “fear” as it is used in Proverbs. Note that is says “fear of the Lord” and not simply ”fear of God.” The use of the word “Lord” assigns Yahwistic tendencies. This adds a subtle anthropomorphic trait and earthy characteristics — dirt, soil, and weather — found in the Yahwist creation story of Genesis 2-4, and unlike the creation story of Genesis 1.

        My old college friend is rewriting his novel, adding “fear” as a characteristic to the story.

       Fear in literature came to me this week, as I bumped into a new Neil Gaiman non-fiction book titled A View from the Cheap Seats. It is collection of his interviews, prefaces to other books, speeches, and his other short non-fiction writings. Very interesting. An avid reader since childhood in Britain, Gaiman states his heroes of writing were C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Mary Shelley to name a few. Like those writers, Gaiman is famous for science fiction and fantasy writing, especially for children and teens.

        Here are a few edited notes I made about A View from the Cheap Seats, with which I could identify. Many of Gaiman’s thoughts contain words of wisdom:

·      I tend to write about things from wherever I am standing, and that means I include possibly too much me in the things I write. 

·      As C.S. Lewis reminded us, the only people who inveigh against escape are jailers.

·      They [librarians when he was a kid] treated me as another reader — nothing less, nothing more, which meant, they treated me with respect. I was not use to being treated with respect as an eight-year-old.

·      Fiction is the lie that tells the truth, after all. [I disagree with his premise.]

·      Albert Einstein was asked once how we could make our children intelligent. His reply was both simple and wise. “If you want your children to be intelligent,” he said, “read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

·      It simply did not go far enough; and we also realize, as the queen is imprisoned inside a kiln, about to be roasted for the midwinter feast [referencing a Nordic fairytale], that stories are told by survivors.

·   How dare you, an Englishman, try to write a book about America, about American myths and the American soul? How dare you try to write about what makes America special, as a country, as a nation, as an idea.

·      And the second is that words have power. [Two new thoughts on Gaiman’s novel American Gods.]

·   American Gods contains scenes that I would not want a child to read, mostly because I would not want to explain those scenes to a child who had read them and demanded an explanation. I do not worry about a ten-year-old picking it up and reading it, though. I think any young reader not ready for it would be bored by it. Kids censor their own reading, and dullness is the ultimate deterrent.

·      I learned that sometimes what you do not understand, what remains beyond your grasp in a book, is as magical as what you can take from it.

·      I had much less to say than I did when I was young… I thought I’d figured out how to write a novel, that you never learn how to write a novel. You merely learn how to write the novel you’re on… The paradox is that by the time you’ve figured out how to do it, you’ve done it.

·      The Bride of Frankenstein doesn’t romp. It’s oneiric, a beautiful, formless sequence of silver nitrate shadows.

        I confess I am not a big fan of horror as a genre in literature. I like some Stephen King, but for many other writers, it’s too bloody. I gently tiptoed into Gaiman’s Coraline because I had heard of it, but expected Coraline to be too dark for my taste — especially as literature for children. The library had it in audio format too, which made it even better, so I was able to read it and listen to Gaiman read it simultaneously. To read and listen to an author’s own work is wonderful because the author knows where to place the emphasis he intended in his words and punctuation.

        I was pleasantly surprised.

        Yes, the book is about “fear,” but only to the extent of a young ten-year-old girl who moves into a new quad flat with two elderly spinsters in one apartment upstairs, and an elderly single gentleman who teases her about his mice orchestra when they first meet. Can you imagine the imagination of a little girl upon meeting these new characters? Oh, and even more importantly, one flat is empty and locked, and her mom has the key, which she is NOT to touch. Thus, Coraline’s imagination runs, and runs, and runs.

        Fun!

        I am halfway through another Gaiman fantasy book, American Gods, more for older teens and adults. I’ll let you know my thoughts later.

        There was a reality T.V. show called Scared Straight where they introduce teenagers to prisoners who yell at them and push them around to deter them from crime. I don’t know if it’s still on T.V., but I can’t imagine it is very effective in preventing delinquent teenagers from committing crimes. It seems to me a more effective exercise is to teach the kids to read; even read scary stuff, and let their imaginations run wild instead of their actions.

        Sometimes reality is more fearful than anything we could read in a book.

        Have a good week…

Love,

Dad

P.S. Here is an interesting take on many peoples “fears” today. It’s from an early Public Enemy song, “Fear of a Black Planet.” Crank it up!

Fear of a Black Planet

[Intro]

Man, don't you worry 'bout a thing 'Bout your daughter, nope she's not my type But suppose' she said she loved me Are you afraid of the mix of Black and White? We're livin' in a land where the law say Mixing of race makes the blood impure She's a woman I'm a man Look on your face, I see ya can't stand itMan you need to calm down, don't get mad I don't need your sista But suppose' she said she loved me Would you still love her or would you dismiss her What is pure? Who is pure? Is it European? I ain't sure If the whole world was to come through peace and love Then what would we be made of?Excuse us for the news You might not be amused But did you know white comes from Black No need to be confused Excuse us for the news I question those accused Why is this fear of Black from White Influence who you choose?Man, I don't want your wife Stop screamin', it's not the end of your life (But suppose' she said she loved me) What's wrong with some color in your family tree? I don't know, hey, I'm just a rhyme sayer Skins protected 'gainst the ozone layers Breakdown 2001 Might be best to be Black or just Brown countdownI've been wonderin' why People livin' in fear Of my shade (Or my high-top fade) I'm not the one that's runnin' But they got me one the run Treat me like I have a gun All I got is genes and chromosomes Consider me Black to the bone All I want is peace and love on this planet (Ain't how that God planned it?)Excuse us for the news You might not be amused But did you know white comes from Black No need to be confused Excuse us for the news I question those accused Why is this fear of Black from White Influence who you choose?

[funface2]

The 50 best jokes from Edinburgh Fringe 2019's shows – and how to watch them all live – iNews

Culture

As the festival enters its final days, we round up the funniest gags on offer this year

Friday, 23rd August 2019, 09:28 am

Updated Friday, 6th September 2019, 16:32 pm

John Luke Roberts: I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed. She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’ (Photo: Natasha Pszenicki)

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed. She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’ John Luke Roberts, Assembly Studio Two, 5.30pm

I went for my driving test the other day and the instructor said, ‘you’re in the wrong gear’. I said, ‘Why? What’s wrong with this tuxedo?’Nick Helm Pleasance Dome, 5.40pm; read i’s review of the show here

The best thing about being disabled is nobody ever wants you to babysit. In case you drop them. And recruit them. Rosie Jones, Pleasance Courtyard, 7pm

Do you reckon the band Chic ever found any takers for that free cow they were always trying to get rid of?Joz Norris, Heroes at the Hive, 4.40pm

Sign up to our daily newsletter

The i newsletter cut through the noise

What do I want played at my funeral? Rugby.Goodbear, Pleasance Dome, 9.40pm

True crime documentaries are the only time the entertainment industry will take a chance on an unknown female lead. Jena Friedman, Assembly George Square Studios, 9.20pm

My teacher told me to make a vacuum – I thought, no pressure then.Leo Kearse Gilded Balloon, 9.15pm

Rosie Jones: ‘The best thing about being disabled is nobody ever wants you to babysit. In case you drop them. And recruit them’

In his job my dad’s never lost a case. That makes him Gatwick’s top baggage handler.Glenn Moore, Pleasance Courtyard, 4pm

I find it hard to believe Melania Trump had a body double for public appearances. It would definitely be for the private stuff. Laura Lexx, Gilded Balloon, 5.15pm

My mate came second in a Winston Churchill lookalike competition. He was close, but no cigar. Goose, Assembly George Square, 5.20pm

My mother doesn’t like the word vagina, so she calls it a ‘Lulu’ which was very confusing when I met my cousin Lulu, who coincidentally is a c***.Janine Harouni, Pleasance Courtyard, 5.45pm; read i’s review of the show here

Do I enjoy randomly appointing people to judicial positions? I’ll let you be the judge of that.Ivo Graham, Pleasance Courtyard, 7pm; read i’s review of the show here

I didn’t have sex at university for religious reasons. God hates me.Phil Wang Pleasance Courtyard, 8pm; read i’s review of the show here

Tiff Stevenson: ‘Jeremy Hunt has said he would lower abortion limit to 12 weeks. That’s funny because I’d raise it to whatever age Jeremy Hunt is’ (Photo: Steve Ullathorne)

My grandad died on April Fool’s Day. Every year for 10 years. Rhys James, Pleasance Courtyard, 6.30pm

I’m pleased to be getting a beer belly, I’ve always wanted a father figureCam Spence, Pleasance Courtyard, 4:30pm

I love Lorraine Kelly. I’m a big fan of her earlier work – the stuff she does before quarter to nine.Martha McBrier, Laughing Horse @ The Counting House, 7.15pm

Jeremy Hunt has said he would lower abortion limit to 12 weeks. That’s funny because I’d raise it to whatever age Jeremy Hunt is.Tiffany Stevenson, Monkey Barrel, 9.15pm

A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, ‘Yes, of course, that’s 20 cows’.Jake Lambert, Pleasance Courtyard, 8.15pm

My new boyfriend told me he’s got my face as his wallpaper, which I thought was cute until I saw his lounge.Steff Todd, Just the Tonic @ The Caves, 2pm

As a Russian, I admire Jeremy Corbyn – he’s tough. The KGB could interrogate him for a week and still not find out what his position on Brexit is.Konstantin Kisin, Gilded Ballon, 7pm

Ivo Graham’s sixth show at the Edinburgh Fringe is about becoming a dad

I fully support the school strikers on climate change. I’m just annoyed that they didn’t call it the minors’ strike.Matt Winning, Pleasance Courtyard, 4.25pm

When applying for a job as an estate agent, the interviewer worried that my CV was a bit small. I said ‘actually it’s really cosy’ and I was immediately hired.Alex Kealy, Just the Tonic at the Caves, 6.40pm 

Did you know the word ‘Ikea’ is actually made up of two Swedish words? “Ika”, meaning “Sunday”, and “Keya”, meaning “f***ing ruined.”The Scummy Mummies, Assembly Rooms, 7.50pm

I won Jewish comedian of the year, my mum was judging, then again, she always does.Joe Bor, Laughing Horse @ The Lockup, Cowgate, 3.45pm

Some people think being working class is a negative thing but I think there’s loads of benefits. I’ve claimed them all.Kelly Convey, Pleasance Courtyard, 7.15pm

I got invited to a gender reveal party – when you invite all your friends over to find out the gender of your child and release pink balloons if it’s a girl or blue balloons if it’s going to earn more.Robin Morgan, The Pear Tree, 4.05pm

They say some people ‘inhale books’. I know someone who injects books right into his veins. Particularly ones with female protagonists. He’s a heroine addict.Izzy Mant, Underbelly Bristo Square, 2.50pm

Adam Hess: ‘It must be annoying for clocks that from their perspective their hands are moving anti-clockwise’ (Photo: Matt Crockett)

I know that Banksy’s my dad, because I never see him.Flo & Joan, Assembly George Square Gardens, 6pm

I tell my friends I’m here for them 24/7 because it sounds better than saying I’m only here for them on the 24th of July.Andy Field, Just the Tonic, 2.10pm

It must be annoying for clocks that from their perspective their hands are moving anti-clockwise.Adam Hess, Pleasance Courtyard, 7.15pm

With enough revs and determination any restaurant is a drive-thru. Tom Taylor, Pleasance Courtyard, 6pm

My name is Sukh, which is short for Sukhjeet, which is Sanskrit for you’re never going to find it on a fucking keyring in a gift shop.Sukh Ojla, Gilded Balloon, 5:15pm

I haven’t looked up the definition of hyperbole in, like, forever.Caitlin Cook, Just the Tonic at the Grassmarket Centre, 5.50pm

British people are like coconuts. Hard on the outside but sweet once you crack us. Also often found full of alcohol and holding an umbrella.Milo McCabe, Underbelly, 5.30pm

Catherine Bohart: ‘I suppose lesbian sex is a bit like cricket, in that it goes on forever and there’s a lot of men watching it at home, alone, on the internet’

I’m making a TV series about the different parts of my gas cooker – I’ve already filmed the pilot.Olaf Falafel, Laughing Horse @ The Pear Tree, 2.50pm

I’m pretty sure Jesus is Gay because every time I go to God’s house he’s got pictures of him on the wall with 12 hot guys having brunch.James Barr, Underbelly, 5.20pm

I suppose lesbian sex is a bit like cricket, in that it goes on forever and there’s a lot of men watching it at home, alone, on the internet. Catherine Bohart, Pleasance Courtyard, 6pm

I look the wrong way when crossing the road, so people think I just got back from Paris.Joe Sutherland, Banshee Labyrinth, 10:10pm

My dad is like a black James Bond: it’d be great to see him, but he’s unlikely to make an appearance.Alexander Fox, Pleasance Courtyard, 6pm

In Poirot you meet six really posh people, and you know one of them is going to be murdered. In real life, you rarely get such good odds.Alasdair Beckett-King, Pleasance Dome, 6.50pm 

In my show we won’t be using things like a Ouija Board. Or if you don’t speak French – a Yesja board.SÉAYONCÉ, Assembly George Square, 10.20pm 

Ahir Shah: ‘The Arab Spring was 8 years ago. I thought “How long can a crisis conceivably last?”, and then I looked at my own personal life and was like “Yeah, that makes sense”’

My girlfriend and I are saving up for a mortgage, but it isn’t going very well – because sadly, all of our grandparents are still alive. Matt Richardson, Just the Tonic at The Tron, 9pm

Devon, the county of the UK where you put the cream on the scone before voting Leave.Ivo Graham, Pleasance Courtyard, 7pm

I was living in my office for a while, until it failed its MOT.Jim Campbell, Just the Tonic at the Caves, 5.20pm

Scotland heckled Boris Johnson so badly he had to leave by the back door, like one of his mistresses.Grace Campbell, Gilded Balloon, 3.15pm; read i’s review here

I like to watch Love Your Garden when I have my tea and then True Crime before bed. I feel really confident about being able to bury a body and know what to plant on top of it.Lucy Beaumont, Pleasance Courtyard, 4.45pm  

Me and my partner were going to go on holiday to Norway this year but we costed it up and in the end we couldn’t af-fjord it. Tom Parry, Pleasance Courtyard, 6pm

The Arab Spring was 8 years ago. I thought “How long can a crisis conceivably last?”, and then I looked at my own personal life and was like “Yeah, that makes sense.”Ahir Shah, Monkey Barrel, 1.45pm

Behind every successful man is me, trying to get his attention.Lou Sanders, Monkey Barrel, 3.15pm; read i’s review of the show here

I find it quite ironic that erectile dysfunction is on the rise.Rob Auton, Assembly George Square, 2.50pm 

Let’s block ads! (Why?)

Source link

Bài viết The 50 best jokes from Edinburgh Fringe 2019's shows – and how to watch them all live – iNews đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/the-50-best-jokes-from-edinburgh-fringe-2019s-shows-and-how-to-watch-them-all-live-inews-2/

[topicprinter]

I’ve added in a Table of Contents, since this post is a long one! To get to the “meat” of the post -- the part detailing my strategy -- you want to skip ahead to part 4.Table of ContentsIntro: My StoryThis Post is an Antidote To All The Bad Information Out ThereHow I Make My Money -- And How You Can, TooStep 1: Killing the Superman SyndromeA Quick Word About Hiring ContractorsBut Stevie, This Sounds Expensive!Step 2: Realize There’s No Such Thing as a Free LunchStep 3: Stand on the Shoulders of GiantsStarting Your Business: Get Out There and Start Making MoneyStep 4: Passive Income Will Set You FreeStep 5: My Step by Step BlueprintSo what’s my formula?Step 6: Your Passion Doesn’t Mean S**tStep 7: Create an Irresistible BaitGetting Someone to Do Your WorkStep 8: Get a Magnetic Cover That’s Impossible to IgnoreStep 9: Get At Least 8 GENUINE ReviewsStep 10: Do a Killer PromotionBONUS Step 11: Automate Everything!BONUS Step 12: Scale it to 6-7 FiguresFinal Step: Sit back, relax, and watch the MAGIC happenFinal ThoughtsIntro: My StoryWhen I look back on my journey as an entrepreneur, it’s been one hell of a ride.My name is Stevie Drive. I’m a serial entrepreneur, and I make my money through my online businesses.About a decade ago, I quit my job. I started working full time online.Today, I’m making multiple six figures.To do this, I work an average of three hours a day.And that’s only if I want to work.Sometimes I go for weeks without even that.Over the last ten years, I’ve gotten to the point that I’ve got a passive income stream that’s sizeable, reliable, and consistent, to the point that I have no long have the need or reason, to do the whole “9 to 5, Monday to Friday” thing. I can go weeks without doing a single thing for my business, and still make just as much money as I always do.Things weren’t always this awesome, of course.We’re all entrepreneurs here. We all fail before we succeed. It comes with the territory.And I failed. Hard. Multiple times.But after a number of failed attempts and as I began to learn from it, something finally clicked. I finally “got it.”And that realization tore down the floodgates. Suddenly, money was falling from the sky, with no signs of slowing down.It was like a volcanic eruption or a supernova -- something really, really big that happened really, really fast.The success teachers were right. When money floodgates open, it starts coming at you so fast, you wonder where it had been hiding all along.Suddenly, my life was changed forever.I had more money than I’d ever had in my entire life. Practically overnight, I went from poor and struggling, to solidly upper middle class.And, even cooler than that,I was time-rich. I had time to spend as much of it with friends, family, traveling, and hobbies.I’d say I’ve been successful. My life is awesome.And that’s why today I wanted to share this.I am still seeing on this forum a lot of people struggling and feeling “stuck” in the job they hate and life they are unhappy with.My goal is to help you change that. Life is short. No one should ever have to waste it spending 40 hours a week in abject misery, doing shit they hate while working for “the man.”This Post is an Antidote To All The Bad Information Out ThereThis post is a response to the fact that in forums like this one, I’ve seen so much bad advice.There’s a phenomenon people talk about on Reddit that I think applies here.The more you genuinely know about a subject, the more you realize that a lot of people on Reddit are full of crap.And it’s not that people are lying or anything. It’s just very easy to think you know more than you do about a subject. And helping other people feels good. So it’s tempting to comment with what you think you know.The issue is that someone’s argument or point of view can seem accurate. It can be well written, compelling, and most importantly, it can be logically consistent and rational.And yet, it can still be BS from someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.But their argument seems sound. It’s got that “truthy” vibe going on.So your average redditor who’s smart and educated, but not on the topic in question, is going to go “Ok, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.”But what looks like the truth to a non-expert, can be obvious misinformation that an expert catches instantly.When it comes to making passive income online, I’m fortunate enough to say I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been in the trenches. I’ve done it. So have a lot of people here.When there’s tons of conflicting advice on a subject, shit gets confusing. A lot of newbie entrepreneurs can feel overwhelmed.One guy’s post says “Do A, not B. Never do B. B sucks.” He makes a compelling argument, too, something that’s pretty convincing to a smart, sensible layperson.But then another guy says “A sucks, do B.” Again, good argument, solid rhetoric, internal logical consistency.When A and B are mutually incompatible, it’s hard to know what to think or believe.I have a system I’ve used to make my money. And it works. I know for a fact that it works because I have it running in the background even while I’m writing this.So I wanted to share it here. I’ve got a method you can use yourself to start making the passive income you’ve always dreamed of.I’ll be honest. There’s hard work involved. You’ve got to be persistent. It takes time. But if you follow the instructions and do it right, you will make money.How I Make My Money -- And How You Can, TooSo what’s my strategy, anyway?What did I do to go from a broke wantrepreneur, with a string of failures and suffocating credit card bills, to someone who generates tens of thousands of dollars every month only working just a few hours a day?First, I’m going to tell you how I got to the point where things “clicked” for me, and I started making real money.To do that, I had to change my mindset and adjust my strategy.Step 1: Kill the ‘Superman Syndrome’I feel like this doesn’t get talked about enough. But it was the most important epiphany that sparked my success.It was a massive paradigm shift.When you’re a solopreneur like me, you’re on your own. And, let’s get real, your budget is limited.So you try to do it all. Building the website, writing the content, creating the graphics, handling the bookkeeping, planning the marketing strategy. All the things that go into a successful business.Now, chances are, there’s at least one of these things that you’re good at. You probably have a talent for something.Maybe you have a gift for business development strategy. You’re a born CEO with a knack for taking a 10,000 foot view. You think holistically.Maybe you’re a skilled web developer, and that’s what you do for a living.Maybe you have a way with words, and you’re good at writing copy that makes the sale every time. Being good at any of these things is awesome.But here’s the thing: you’re probably not good at all of those things. Not only that, there’s probably at least one critical thing your business needs that you really kind of suck at.You’ve got strengths, but you’ve got weaknesses, too. It’s part of being human.So when you try to do it all yourself, you end up overworked, overwhelmed, and burnt out. You’re not only building your business, but trying to master a bunch of new skill sets for which you don’t really have any natural talent.That’s how I used to approach things. I didn’t want to spend money to hire anyone. I thought, “Well, hell, I’ll just do it myself.”That didn’t work out for me.The big change in my life and my career happened when I started delegating my weaknesses.Do what you’re great at. But if you suck at something, hire someone else. Because your weakness becomes a “hole in the ground”. You’ll fall into it every single time.Yes, delegating costs money. I know.But spending a little will help you make a lot more money. And you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars. Later on, I’ll show you a way where you can get it literally on pennies on the dollar.In other words, if you’re having a shitty time doing a particular task on your own, don’t be afraid to spend money on someone who knows how to do it right.Hiring contractors made a HUGE difference for me.It was a straight up personal revolution.And not only does delegation improve the quality of work you get, but it does something else, something important.It saves time.There is one thing in this world you can never buy, no matter how much money you have.You cannot, ever, buy more time.Fun fact: in Sanskrit, the word for “time” is also the word for “death.”Time is an enigma that human science has only just begun to truly understand.In terms of theoretical physics and cosmology, there’s a lot we still don’t know about the nature and the existence of time.But one thing’s for sure: the arrow of time is the same for kings and pariahs alike.It doesn’t matter who you are. Time and death care nothing for human concerns like wealth or social status.These are forces of nature that transcend us all.To quote from the Bhagavad Gita, as Oppenheimer did:“I am Time, the destroyer of worlds. I have come to engage all people.”Your time is the most valuable thing you have. Don’t waste it. Save time in any way that you can – especially if you’re having a horrible time doing whatever it is that’s eating up so much of it!And the best way to do that, in the context of running an online business, is to hire a real professional who does what you need, day in and day out, for a living.Now, my strength lies in coaching. I’m good at teaching people and delivering results.There’s a saying: “Those who cannot do, teach.”Well, I think that’s total crap.Some people just have this natural talent for teaching others how to do something. Chances are, you’ve had at least one high school teacher or college professor that was really, really good, who you really, really liked.Coaching is my strength, my gift. It’s what I do best.So what’s my weakness, then?Anything tech. I’m not a programmer. I’m not a web designer. I hardly know the first thing about any of that.So rather than spend tons of man-hours learning a whole new skillset from scratch -- autodidactically, no less -- I hired someone else to handle those things.I do this for everything I’m not good at or I don’t enjoy.This delegation has five key benefits.1. You make fast progress You won’t get stuck because you don’t know how to do something. A legit professional can do what you need a lot faster than you can.2. You make more money. This seems to be a natural result of item 1. Once your progress speeds up, your income goes up with it.3. You get more free time. I’m all for having a solid work ethic, but work is only one facet of living a human life. Now, if working nonstop and doing 80 hour weeks makes you happiest, do it. But most people don’t have much free time to do things that they love. Instead, they are a slave to doing things what they hate. Delegating breaks its shackles and frees up your time.4. It’s easier to scale really quickly. Again, this is something that leads to 10X more money.5. You get to spread the wealth. Not only are you making good money for yourself, but the people you hire get a piece of the pie, too. Remember, there are a lot of things that someone from a developing nation can do just as well, if not better, than a native English speaker. On your end of things, you get a fantastic bargain due to the lower cost of living. But on their end, they’re making bank. Your pennies are their dollars.This is kind of just a partial list of the benefits of delegation, but you get the point. Your business becomes more efficient and more profitable.A Quick Word About Hiring ContractorsFreelance contractors are easy to find.I use Upwork and Freelancer.com, but you can also check other sites like People Per Hour, Toptal, /r/forhire, and job boards specific to a certain profession. (Behance for graphic design, the Problogger job board for copywriters, that kind of thing.)Here are my tips:Go for contractors with at least 100 hours logged on whatever bidding site you’re using. Why? Because that means they are trained, and not someone brand new who can mess things up for you.Save money by hiring from overseas. Now, there’s one place where I actually don’t recommend that, and that’s content writing and copywriting. Get a native speaker. It’s not even that expensive. Tons of college students write for beer money, for as little as $0.02/word. Other than that, virtually anything can be outsourced from overseas, and they do a great job.Choose freelancers with a good rating, preferably 4/5 and up because that means they’re proven.But Stevie, This Sounds Expensive!Here’s the thing: make more than you spend.Don’t be afraid to spend money. It’s a necessity you can’t avoid. Just make sure you’re getting a good ROI.Think of it this way: if I held out a ten dollar bill and asked if you’d like to trade it for a single, you would, right?Damn straight you’d trade $1 for $10. Now you have $9. You made a lot more than you spent.Step 2: Realize There’s No Such Thing as a Free LunchOnce you realize this, you’ll start getting much better results from your business efforts.Everything is an investment. Again, make more than you spend. But to do that, you’ve still got to spend.Remember what I said about time. Don’t waste it trying to do things you’re not good at. Don’t waste it burning yourself out with overwork you could avoid by simply hiring a professional.Spend time with your family. Engage in hobbies. Get some much needed “me time".The last thing you want to do is realize on your deathbed that you spent so much time at work, that you missed out on all the other things that life has to offer.I know there's a lot of talk about the hustle, and 40-100(!) hour workweeks. I used to be the same way too, before but I realized that everything in life requires a balance.If you are spending most of your time working and none with your family, you will have missed those precious years that you can never get back.I believe in work -- but more importantly, I believe in experiences and freedom.Nobody on their deathbed wishes they would've worked more. It's usually the other way around. Numerous research studies show that at the last moments of their breath, people are filled with regrets:Why didn't I spend more time with my parents?Why didn't I spend more time with my family?Why didn't I spend more time with my hobbies?Because, as you know, life is short, my friend. Don't blow it.Step 3: #Stand On the Shoulders of GiantsSo, the first big mindset shift that helped me succeed was investing capital on professional freelancers who know what they’re doing.The second, ironically, was the realization that I’d been spending too much time on forums.A lot of us can relate to that, I think.Now, when you’re first starting to learn about entrepreneurship and passive income, you actually can look at forums and reading blog posts. You’ll learn a lot.But you’re going to reach a point where you’ve outgrown these things. You start realizing that you’ve spent enough time already doing research and planning things.Maybe you’ve got analysis paralysis, and you’re not sure if the time is right yet.Sometimes, you’ve just got to take the plunge. There’s a good reason why /r/juststart is named the way it is.Not sure if you’ve done enough research yet? If you’re asking that question in the first place, you’re probably ready.Just. Start.And this start doesn’t have to be massive. All you need to is simply take that first little baby step. Whether it be executing on the idea I tell you on this post, or messaging to talk to me, all you have to do is take an action. That’s all it takes.This ties back into what I was talking about earlier. After I’d learned the key basics, all that reading and research rolled over from being fruitful and helpful, to getting confusing and overwhelming.I was getting shiny object syndrome at every turn. One thing would catch my eye. I’d get excited, start dreaming and planning.But I didn’t start.So, I lost interest. Not too long after, some other, totally different idea captured my imagination instead.Same deal.I ended up feeling frustrated, tired, and stuck. I wasn’t making any kind of meaningful progress. Not only was I failing to act on my ideas, but I wasn’t even really learning anything useful by this point.And again, as I’ve said, there’s a ton of seemingly accurate but mutually incompatible advice out there.So how did I break out of analysis paralysis?As you can imagine, I started spending less time on blogs and forums. But that’s only half of it.I did something totally out of the norm for me. I hired a business coach.I paid an expert to work with me one on one to teach me the ropes. I learned so much more than I ever got out of strangers’ forum comments on the internet.To quote Robert Kiyosaki: “What’s worse than no advice is BAD advice.”But the thing with business coaches is that it’s challenging to find a good one.Always be very careful who you’re listening to.But once you sift through the pile that’s 95% bullshit, you’ll find the 5% that’s golden.That 5%, that genuinely good advice, can only come from someone who’s been in the trenches.You’re looking for someone who achieved exactly what you’re trying to do for yourself. Tony Robbins said: “If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieve the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.”If you find that person, listen to every word they say because this person will get you more progress than others can do in decades.Think critically. Use your head.But also, trust your gut. It has more nerve endings than your brain.Sure, you can be successful without hiring a coach. There are tons of reputable sites and tutorials out there that you can use to teach yourself.But be very careful about this. Because it’s the reason I was spinning my wheels in place for such a long time.Being an autodidact is great, but the big danger here is that you can go down a rabbit hole really fast, and spin your wheels in place for a long time.It’s because there’s so much information on the internet, and so many tantalizing little “shiny objects” that can steer you away like a kitty chasing after a light beam. And being adults, there’s no one to hold us accountable and keep us motivated.This was the exact reason why I wasn’t able to go anywhere fast for a long time. It was like one of those cartoon mirages of an oasis in the desert. I thought I was getting closer, but was never able to. It was quite maddening.My thinking was, why spend money on getting coached when I can use Google or YouTube?Fatal mistake.The problem these days is not the lack of information.Problem is:a. amount of BAD informationb. lack of a person’s discipline and focusc. lack of “specialized information” which is the dynamic, up-to-date secrets only known by those who are “in the trenches everydayd. lack of confidence doing something new.There’s no real substitute for being instructed and coached by a real, live human being. He can not only provide you with the accurate, up-to-date information, but can hold you accountable, keep you focused and motivated, and give you the courage to embark on a new journey.I’m not saying this because I am a coach, but I am in the coaching business because I see it as the single most powerful agent for change.Starting Your Business: Get Out There and Start Making MoneySo far, I’ve covered my own entrepreneurial journey, and what I’ve learned along the way.Changing my mindset, finding new ways to approach problems and finding solutions, was integral to my success.That’s why I’ve spent so much time explaining how I learned what I learned about running a business.Now, I’m going to talk about what you probably really want to know: what I actually do, and how I do it.I’ve mentioned that I offer business coaching, but that’s not how I started. I wasn’t a coach until I actually had something to teach.I made most of my money selling ebooks on Amazon Kindle. And there’s very specific reasons why I chose this business model. I’ll explain why and how I do it.Step 4: Passive Income Will Set You FreeI love Kindle publishing because it meets the most important criteria that I’m looking for to free up my time: passive income. When you have something that keeps generating money on its own, you’re no longer trading your time for money.I am looking for a new kind of wealth, which is time wealth. So I can have the freedom to do what I enjoy in life. When a person is truly wealthy or “financially free”, their money doesn’t come from their salary, their time, or their services.The vast majority of their money -- true wealth – comes from passive income.Stop working for money, and start making your money work for you. This is what wealth really is.This is what true freedom is.When you have a job, and you work for someone else, you’re basically trading your time for money. The amount of work you do determines how much money you make.Or, if you’re salaried and don’t qualify for overtime pay, you’re accepting a deal where you’re guaranteed a certain amount of money -- at a price.That price is an unlimited amount of your time. You get the money, sure. But the price is that in return, they get as much of your time and energy as they want or need.Now, who benefits most from this?Which person really has the power here?I think you know the answer. And it’s not the salaried employee.The reason I’m emphasizing this is because in some situations, working for yourself can be just another job.Let’s say you’re a freelance copywriter. You bill by the word.The amount of money you make depends directly on the amount of work you do, just like any other job.Nothing wrong with that arrangement, but it’s not true freedom.The goal is to be in a position where the money you make does not depend on the time you spend working, or the work that you do.True financial freedom means owning assets that generate money on their own.And the thing is, thanks to the internet, passive income is fully within your grasp -- if you work for it.Here’s one caveat - there’s no such thing as easy money. To get to where you don’t need to work at all, you must first work harder than you’ve ever worked before. But the reward is oh so worth it.Step 5: My Step-by-Step Kindle Publishing StrategyI mentioned that my money mostly comes from ebooks I’ve published on Amazon.And I’ll be honest: to publish an ebook, you first have to write it.That’s going to cost one of two things: either cash money, or your own time and energy.If you are not a full time writer and research and writing is not your strength, I’d recommend outsourcing this part.Remember what I said about spending money to make money, and about outsourcing your weaknesses to professionals instead of hacking something together yourself.If you do write the first few books yourself, then when they start generating revenue, you can start investing in ghostwriters.Even if you’re a fabulous writer, you’ll eventually want to start outsourcing some of it. This strategy requires a high number of ebooks to be successful. You may not want to crank all of them out on your own.Each ebook I’ve published acts as a “mini-asset”. On their own, though, they don’t bring in a whole lot of income.But once they’re up for sale, they can potentially keep generating income for years to come.And think about it: what if you have dozens of these ebooks? Hundreds, even?You’ll start bringing in some real passive income. Enough to do things like pay your rent and cover your car payments.The advantages of this income go without saying. But just in case, here are a few of them.Spend more time with family and friends. When your income isn’t directly dependent on the time you put in, you can use that time to do what you really wanted to do: spend time with the people that matter the most.Travel more. You can work anywhere when your income comes from passive online assets like ebooks. No longer will you be chained to a desk or a cubicle. It doesn’t matter where you work, as long as you’ve got internet access and a decent laptop. So you can go anywhere, as long as you’ve got the cash to fund it. (And if you do this right, you certainly will.)Buy things you’ve always wanted. I’m not saying to go crazy and blow all your money on stupid stuff. But everyone has something in which they have a taste for the finer things. Maybe you’re a car guy. Maybe you’re into high end designer fashion. Whether it’s a Lambo or a Birkin bag, you can use this strategy to eventually bring in enough money to attain those kind of luxury products.Make your own schedule. Chances are, you’re currently beholden to someone else’s schedule. Whatever company you work for has decided what your work hours should be. When you work for yourself, you can arrange your day however you want. Not a morning person? Start work at noon. It’s up to you, not someone else. Don’t feel like working today? Well guess what: you don’t have to.Say goodbye to that hellish daily commute to work. Stop dealing with rage-inducing traffic jams and gas-guzzling hour-long drives to the office.There are a surprisingly large number of people out there for whom these things are a daily reality. You can live the “internet marketing dream” lifestyle, bringing in enough consistent passive income to finally free yourself from the whole “wage slavery” thing.But there’s one thing no one tells you about this: it’s not easy.Nothing about this is easy. To reap the rewards of the passive income lifestyle, you’ll still need to put in a lot of time, effort, failures, and money in the beginning.So if you’re looking for “easy money,” if you want to “get rich quick” with little effort, this guide is not for you.A lot of people try to do this kind of thing, and the truth is, most of them fail.Some people fail several times before they get it right. It comes with the territory.But most give up after a failed venture or two. And that’s exactly what you don’t want to do.This is part of the value of coaching and mentorship. Your coach has already gone through the grueling trial-and-error process that marketing entrepreneurship entails.When you learn from them, you can skip right into a formula that’s known to work.So What’s My Formula?Now, I’m going to go through the meat of all of this. I’m going to share with you what I share with my private coaching students.This is how I make my money. And you can, too.Step 6: Your Passion Doesn’t Mean Sh*tI’m going to say something controversial here.“Follow Your Passion” seem to be the cool thing to say these days. But when it comes to making money online, it couldn’t be further from the truth.For example, let’s say your passion is in “bottle cap collection”. Nothing wrong with this, but how many people would share this same passion as you? When it comes to making money online, instead of “following your passion”, you need to “sell what sells”.In the web entrepreneurship community, we talk a lot about niche selection.And the usual advice is this: narrow things down. Pick a smaller subniche that no one else is focused on.The thing is, a lot of people end up going too niche when they do this.I’m about to give you some advice that’s totally against the grain.Pick one of the BIG, evergreen niches.These are broad niches that always, always sell.Sell what sells. This strategy is a volume game. You need to sell in high volumes.These big niches may seem super broad, but that’s okay. They move fast, in high volume, making them ideal for this particular strategy.Remember, the typical nonfiction ebook on Kindle goes for anywhere from $2-4. If you want to make a full time, sustainable income, you need a lot of them.To make $3,000 a month, at $2 per ebook, you’ll need to sell 50 books a day.And that’s kind of the minimum, at least in the US, for what you might consider a truly liveable income.Small niches just don’t sell in the volume you need.So what are these big, evergreen niches that always sell?Mass media. Celebrity bios, stuff about TV shows or entertainment history, that kind of thing.Diet and weight loss. This is America. We’ve got a massive obesity epidemic going on. We’re constantly surrounded by foods that are bursting with calories, but that aren’t very filling. (Seriously, take a look at the nutrition facts on those Little Debbie cakes and stuff. It’s insane.) People are always trying to lose weight.Fitness. Another thing people want is to get fit and get in shape. This one pairs well with weight loss and dieting, but it’s really its own distinct niche. Getting fit doesn’t always mean losing weight.Self development. Self-help books are always a perennial bestseller. One of the most important things we need to do in this life is to understand ourselves, and sometimes even better ourselves.Cooking. Everybody eats food. Some more, others less. So cooking is another perennial niche you can consider. Cookbooks sell.Dating. Finding a romantic partner is another big part of human life, at least for the majority of people.Gaming. This one’s maybe a little more recent and modern than the others, but it really is a golden niche.Making money. Everyone wants to find ways to bring in some extra cash. Money doesn’t buy happiness by any means, but what it can do is secure the base of the Maslow Pyramid.Notice what these have in common? They all have to do with things people want for themselves, things that are close to being universal (at least in modern Western culture).They appeal to basic human desires for social success and for bettering oneself.There are other niches out there, but these eight are always a solid bet.Step 7: Create an Irresistible BaitLet me start out by emphasizing a really important point: you don’t have to reinvent the wheel here.I’ve seen a lot of people fail at trying to do this, because they were trying too hard to be creative and unique.We’re all entrepreneurs here. We’re creative people. We like to build new things.But if you’re a beginner, your creativity could be your downfall.I tell my students this until I’m blue in the face: “Don’t reinvent the wheel. Just make it chrome!”Again, SELL WHAT SELLS.Take a look at the Amazon Kindle marketplace.What’s selling in your niche?Specifically, take a close look at books that have a Kindle Bestseller Rank less than 20,000.These are generally selling around ten to fifteen books a day.That might not sound all that great, but remember: volume.At $4 apiece, 15 books a day comes out to $60.In the course of thirty days, that book brings in $1,800.Not bad!You can see how this gets profitable quickly when you have a lot of books that sell like this. If you have 3 of these books, you’ll get $5,400 in monthly passive income. If you have 6, you’ll get $10,800. If you have 12, you’ll get $21,600 deposited into your account every single month! Can you see how realistic your “job-quitting” dream just became?So pick a book in your niche that ranks less than 20,000 or so.Now, you want to model this book.Study it carefully. You need to learn from it.And don’t let your ego trip you up here, either. You need to keep your mind open to radically new ideas. You need a humble mindset of learning.First, look at the title. Put the title in the search bar on Amazon.What else comes up? Keywords that pops up are the ones that gets decent traffic.Then, craft your own title, containing the right keywords.Remember, sell what sells. Don’t reinvent the wheel. All you have to do is emulate a model that you already know is successful.You’re going to dethrone this book. Take over its spot, and by extension, its earnings.To achieve this, all you’ve got to do is create something that’s just a little bit better.But what kind of improvements do you need to make?The secrets lie in the Amazon reviews. A lot of the books you’ll find have mixed ratings and mixed reviews.People generally only review something if they really, really loved it, or if they really, really hated it.Look at the book’s negative or mediocre reviews. What specific elements are people complaining about? What pissed off the people who gave it a one-star rating?What did people like about it? What elements do they praise in five star reviews?Now, you want to emulate what people are raving about, while avoiding the things they didn’t like.Let’s go through a quick example, so I can show you what I mean.Let’s say you’re in the cookbook niche. You find a Kindle ebook ranking around 20,000. Perfect.Let’s call our hypothetical book “Easy and Delicious Paleo Diet Recipes.”You check out the reviews, and you notice that the five star reviews have some things in common with one another.Love the pictures!The instructions were very clear and easy to follow.The grocery shopping list included in the book was super helpful!Then, look at the one star reviews. You find some commonalities here, too.The book was written very poorly, with awful grammar and at least one typo on every page.The formatting was abysmal.The book spent too much time and energy on a story for each recipe, making it harder to flip through the book to the actual recipe you were looking for.Jot all these things down.Now, you’re going to create your own book. It will have everything the audience loves, without the things they obviously don’t like. The idea is to avoid anything that would cause someone to give your book a bad review.On Amazon, buyers look at three key things: the title, the cover art, and the reviews.Sometimes, that’s all they’re going to see before they make a purchase decision.So for your own copycat cookbook, you’re going to:Make sure it has attractive, appealing formatting.Make sure it’s written well, and that it isn’t full of glaring grammatical errors.Create a clever title and badass cover art.You’re fixing the problems the other book had. You’ll get better reviews than it did, and you’ll basically usurp its ranking and its profits.That guy’s $1800/month is as good as yours.You’re taking a mediocre book, in a big popular niche, and making a better version of it, without its weaknesses.“But Stevie, I know these niches are profitable and all, but I don’t know anything about them!”Here’s the thing: you don’t have to. You can find someone who is.Generally speaking, I don’t write my own ebooks. So in this hypothetical cookbook scenario, I’m going to approach it from that perspective.Getting Someone to Write Your EbookSo you don’t know anything about the Paleo diet. Plus, you’re not exactly the best writer in the world.So what do you do?Outsource it.I’ve got a simple, five step process that works for me every time. It’s like clockwork.Here’s the five step process I use.Go to Upwork or another bidding platform. I tend toward Upwork, but I’ve used Freelancer.com, too. Keep in mind that the latter has an iffy reputation among freelancers. Upwork’s got its problems too, but it’s still widely used and reputable.Post your gig. Make it as compelling as you can. Also, make sure you mention your topic in the title. You’re looking for someone who’s decently knowledgeable about it.Invite some candidates to get things going. On Upwork and similar sites, you can invite specific freelancers to apply for your gig. So you can look around for writers who specialize in your topic, and/or who work within your budget range.Interview them. Look at their past work and how they communicate with you. Is their English fluent and native? If it’s not, there’s a high probability your work will suffer too. Look at their feedback and ratings. What these feedback reveal is perhaps the more important ingredient when it comes to finding a quality writer: consistency. An amateur might be good at writing but a professional is someone who is good at writing and also managing their time. You’ll need someone who meets deadlines like clockwork to make your life easier.If the interview is good, hire them and give them the details about your book.You’ll need to provide them with clear, specific instructions, and work with them on a probationary contract. This is to make sure they submit quality work. Remember the mantra when it comes to hiring: hire slow, fire fast.And there you go! You’ve got someone writing your ebook.I usually pay around $50 for nonfiction around 35-50 pages. Usually, the more you can pay, the better the quality of the writers you’ll get.But I’m not looking for a Pulitzer winning writer here. Nonfiction readers are just looking for solution to their problems. I’m just looking for someone who can deliver the solution in a clear and well-communicated way.But, if you can spend just a little more, you can attract a higher caliber of writer, with more experience.Just make more than you spend.That’s all there is to it. If you spend $500 on having an ebook written, and it makes $2,000 in the first month, you’ve already recouped your investment.While you sip margaritas on a beach, they’ll be doing the legwork for you.But one quick warning though – when talking to these contractors, make sure you project confidence and know what you are doing. If not, they can try to take advantage of you.Continued in the Comments Below!!

[meditationklaus]

I’m Jess Rose, And This Is How I Yoga

Jess Rose is a world-traveling, adventure-seeking yogi who teaches alignment-based vinyasa flow at international workshops and retreats, and teaches online to thousands of students with her 30 Days of Yoga Challenge and other programs on DOYOUYOGA.

Currently dividing her time between Mexico, the U.S., and Germany, Jess loves to travel the world to teach, write, and find inspiration in both the outer and inner worlds she finds herself in.

Name: Jess Rose Occupation: Explorer, Sloth, International Yoga Teacher Location: Anywhere and everywhere Favorite yoga style: Alignment-based vinyasa flow and hatha Favorite yoga pose: Gomukhasana (Cow Face Pose) Yoga is… fun, and challenging, and confrontational, and therapeutic. It has the power to bring about the deepest feelings of peace in me, or spark my passion and drive…it just depends on the day and the practice. No matter what, yoga is a direct portal to a deep relationship with the self, learning to observe and transform how we react to challenges, finding the peacefulness at the very pit out our beings, and tapping into who we really are under all the layers of how we present ourselves.

Credit: Dagan Beach

What Do You Love Most About Yoga?

I love how versatile yoga can be, so that I can change up my practice everyday to fit exactly what my body or heart is asking for. It doesn’t take on the weight of being a chore, like something you force yourself to do and is exactly the same everyday. You can mix and match and get creative with your practice—you can just lie on the floor in sweatpants and breathe mindfully, you can chant OM 108 times under your breath in the line at the bank, read the Gita, or you can listen to a yoga podcast with your legs up the wall.

Yoga is so all-encompassing when you think of it as an amalgamation of physical practice, breath work, meditation, thousands of years of philosophy, and a path to a better, happier life. There is always some aspect of yoga that I am excited to explore any given day, and yoga and I have had a very long, interesting evolution together without the flame ever going out.

How Has Yoga Changed Your Life, Personality And Physique?

Yoga has had huge effects on my life…where to start? A couple things happened that made me realize just how much yoga was seeping into my veins while I was still pretty new to it. The first was being in a plane that got struck by lightning and the power going out.

When it happened, I had my mala beads in my hand and was using them to meditate. The plane went dark and we were cruising without power, people were screaming…it was pure chaos. I made the decision to keep meditating and not to freak out. I had no control over anything anyway, so I wanted to die peacefully.

I know that sounds really intense, but I felt a huge swell of tranquility wash over me—it was surprising. Ever since then, I try to always choose surrender and peace over fear-based action or panic.

The second thing I noticed, is that I will always skip going out and partying with my friends when there is a yoga class the next morning that I absolutely don’t want to miss. My social life has suffered immeasurably since becoming a yogi! But I’m much happier and healthier this way, so no regrets at all. And, I’ve made a whole new group of like-minded friends who also think that going to bed at 9:30 to be fit for yoga in the morning is the cool thing to do, haha!

Physically, I’m a lot stronger than I used to be, which has helped me in the ways of carrying my luggage or pushing cars that are stuck in the sand, for example. But, more seriously, yoga has taught me how to move better. I feel more graceful, much more aware of my body in space, and totally comfortable with my body in all of its beauty and perfect imperfections.

Credit: Chris Hannant

What Everyday Things Did You Get Better At Because Of Yoga?

I’m very proud of the fact that I can now sit still for over an hour without freaking out. I don’t know if it’s because the flexibility let me be more physically comfortable, or if mentally, I can accept stillness and being present and content with where I’m at and what I’m doing.

So now I can also peacefully sit through movies, which was never an option before, or enjoy a long meal without feeling compelled to get up and rush to the next thing. It’s slowed down my life and allowed me to be present and really appreciate what I’m doing in every single moment, and that is incredibly life-changing.

How Do You Keep Your Yoga Practice Interesting And Challenging?

On days when I’m not in the mood for a strong physical practice, I study philosophy or biomechanics or practice pranayama, and find the other limbs of yoga just as interesting and challenging as asana. But as far as my physical practice, there are always poses that scare me in a good way and teach me new things about my mental flexibility much more than my physical abilities.

Certain inversions still intimidate me, and I love to throw them in just to see how I react. Being a yogi who frequently does asana on camera has also upped my game and made it possible for me to explore poses I wouldn’t otherwise have had the drive to try on my own. This is why, when I meet students who have done beautiful inversions with me, alone in their home with no external forces cheering them on, I am so absolutely amazed and inspired.

What Book, Website Or Person Inspires You?

I’m really inspired by Buddhist philosophy, in particular Alan Watts and Pema Chödrön, for their graspable ways of bringing mindfulness and understanding to my frenzied and confused human existence.

I seem to repeatedly find myself in some sort of mental or emotional exhaustion revolving around love, work, or an existential crisis of some kind, so the ideas of impermanence and non-attachment always help me get myself back on track. I also love bringing a philosophical or psychological perspective into my yoga classes from time to time, and the Buddhist ideas on fear, power, surrender, change, and non-attachment seem to resonate powerfully with me and my students as well.

Which Yoga Pose Challenges You the Most?

Hands down, standing split. I really, really struggle with this one! I think it’s because I consider myself to be pretty flexible and pretty strong, but in this case, the parts do not equal the whole. I can do the splits on the ground, but there’s something about that deep forward fold, and the glute and hamstring power to lift the top leg, that my body has not been able to unravel.

So even after years of practice and many, many attempts, I often feel like a chunk of rigid concrete block with a very stern-looking human head on one end and a wobbly twig of a leg aimlessly drifting in space on the other end.

Credit: Chris Hannant

What are Your Go-To Yoga Poses When You’re Stressed or In Need of an Energy Boost?

When I’m stressed, Supta Baddha Konasana is my best remedy. Something about opening the hips softens my mental state, and if I prop my heart up on a block or a bolster, my chest can really expand to allow my breath to deepen and slow down.

For energy, inversions are the way to go. If I’m really low on energy, then headstand is great, but if I can muster the strength, a long handstand at the wall gets my blood pumping, sends fresh oxygen to tired cells, and gives me a little jolt of adrenaline to get me buzzed and reinvigorated.

What Do You Listen To When You Practice Yoga?

For more dynamic flow practices, I really like to move to Nu, Nicolas Jaar, D.Lissvik, and Earthrise Sound System. I like eastern-inspired instrumentation with a slow, pulsing beat in the background to give a bit of a mystical sensuality to my practice.

For yin or restorative practices, I really love to put on Masood Ali Khan, Jane Winther, and Steve Ross. I have pretty eclectic musical tastes when it comes to my yoga playlists, but most important for me, is no vocals. Or, if there are vocals, they are either so reverb-y that they are just dreamy and incomprehensible, or in Sanskrit or a language that neither I nor my students speak.

I’ve been annoyed by lyrics and pop songs too many times in yoga classes—even singer/songwriter music made by yogis is too much for me on the mat. I love having my yoga practice be a time to focus on my breath and my body, not hear some dude whining about his lovelife, or talk about how we are all made of stars and fairy-dust or something like that, while I’m trying to guide myself into a standing split!

What’s The Best Advice You’ve Ever Received?

I got this advice from a friend when I was living in France, and it has stuck with me for over a decade: “Reculer pour mieux sauter.” It roughly translates to, ‘step back, in order to better jump forward’. It’s been a personal mantra of mine ever since it was told to me.

I have the very reptilian-brain tendency to go into fast-acting fight mode when I feel threatened or uncomfortable, and this saying reminds me to give myself some space before I make a move. I also apply this advice to my yoga practice by doing plenty of yin and restorative sessions in between strong vinyasa days. This stepping back and slowing down to let my body unwind and re-pattern actually helps it to bounce back stronger and wiser than before.

What’s Your #1 Piece of Advice for Those Just Starting Their Yoga Practice?

Find your teacher! I have been incredibly lucky with my teachers over the years, but I’ve also been to a few classes where I felt totally uninspired (and even been injured!) by an inexperienced teacher. It doesn’t matter whether they’re online or in-person, shop around until you find someone you relate to, who makes you feel not just safe and supported, but also, motivated and empowered.

Without my teachers, I might have dropped my yoga practice years ago and never looked back. It’s all about keeping your focus, being constantly inspired, and being encouraged to keep learning and evolving, and the best teachers are the ones who meet all of these criteria for you.

Website: jessrose.yoga Facebook: JessRoseYoga Instagram: @jessroseyoga Twitter: jessroseyoga

The post I’m Jess Rose, And This Is How I Yoga appeared first on DOYOUYOGA.COM.

[king2min]

The name says it but: A very clever A Very Cleverina

A Very Cleverina, an undergraduate student who’s constantly sharing her knowledge through public speaking.

Aditya Very Cleverina in Geneva, Switzerland (pic instagram.com/avcleverina)

As a young girl growing up in the city of Kretek, Kudus, Central java, Aditya Very Cleverina was clueless of what she would be in the future. In the early age of her life, her parents had introduced her to many forms of talents. She had dreamed to be a model ever since joined beauty pageant in the elementary school. Later when she was in High School, she believed having a future plan in being doctor was the best scenario that would happen in her life. She was also stung by sudden thought of being a Make-Up Artist as her future career. However, all those dreams were dashed and hadn’t stayed long.

Turns out, a 22 years old Very, as she is affectionately called, is an active public speaker who has given a lot of influences around her surroundings.

Her passion toward public speaking started when she was joining storytelling extracurricular in junior high school.

“My turning point started in junior high school, storytelling gave me a room to improve my ability in speaking and sharing my story to others,” she explained.  Since then, she has been actively speaking in public in many occasions.

Now, very is currently struggling for her final year of college, majoring International Relationship at Universitas Sebelas Maret (UNS), Solo. Despite her busy schedule of her college activities, she is respectively being invited to be keynote speaker in seminars, public discourses, and many other events.

Aditya Very Cleverina when Intership at Kemenlu (pic ask.fm/avcleverina)

 Passionate Public Speaker

Public speaking has always been her favorite thing. Since the early of her age, Very has habituated herself to speak English a lot. Among four skills of learning English; reading, writing, listening and speaking. She found that her ability in speaking is more prominent than other activities. She also believes that other soft skills like communication, working with team, etc, are great. But public speaking is most of her favorite.

“Public Speaking is something I passionate about since junior high school. It gives me feasibility on imagining something when I share through story. I like it when I could understand people perspectives and public speaking really help me to gain that energy,” she said.

It was through her loyal dedication and huge efforts to be a public speaker. And just like in most public speaking books offer a piece of advice, she always practices her speech in front of a mirror.

In her spare times, she enjoys watching videos from TED Talks and gets inspired by the influential speakers in the field of Technology, Entertainment, and Design (TED). One of her favorite role model is Riko Anggara from Kompas TV.

There is no result deceiving effort. Very admits that her experiences and abilities speaking in public have pretty much helping her to pass the selection of Student Exchange Scholarships, Beswan Djarum 2015/2016, XL Future Leaders, MAWAPRES 3 and also International Model United Nation (MUN).

 In 2011, when she was sitting in high school, she experienced one year living as KLYES (Kennedy-Lugar Youth Exchange Student) student exchange in Alaska, US. In the beginning of 2014, she also applied to AISEC winter exchange and was experiencing six weeks of teaching and volunteering in Prachinburri, Thailand.

Her active participation in AISEC was then led her to be the President of AISEC Universitas Sebelas Maret 2015/2016.

In her sophomore year, she was also an active member of Student English Forum (SEF) UNS participating in English Debate Society. She had joined several debate competitions in regional and national level like Porsimaptar, ALSA UGM 2014, NUDC national in Batam 2014. She had attained several achievements in debating career, becoming breaking adjudicator of NUDC is one of them.

 As an established public speaker, Very has emerged to be Master of Ceremony (MC). Ever since she becomes an MC, she radiates her confidence when she speaks, engages and communicates with vast audience. One of the prestigious events she has handled is MC-ing National Building Djarum 2016.

Since she always gets excited when speaking in front of the crowd, Very believes there is no such thing that becoming the main challenge in public speaking. One thing that is becoming her obstacle is adjusting her speaking’s schedule and college stuff.

When she was being a single MC handling an International Conference held by FEB UNS (Pic instagram.com/avcleverina)

The story behind A Very Cleverina

Aditya Very Cleverina was born when the sun was shining brightly on the fourth of May, 1994. That’s the reason why her mother put Aditya as the beginning of her name. In Sanskrit, “Aditya” literally means the Sun (surya/matahari). Meanwhile the middle name “Very” and surname “Cleverina” were inherently adapted from the words “Very” and “Clever” in English. The beautiful name was given from her mother, which is an English teacher of public high school in Kudus. She wished her to be an individual who contributes for her knowledge in the future.

 Having the Aditya between her original names often make people confuses her as a male. People who just get to know her would eventually call her as “Sir”, “Mas”, or even “Masbro” due to the typical male name she has.

Visiting Basilica S. Pietro, Vatican City – Rome, Italy (pic instgram.com/avcleverina)

“Above all, am so grateful and happy to have this name. Truly, it’s not a curse, but a bless. It just easy to be memorized by others as well” she captioned a picture on her instagram account (avcleverina).

 First time MUN, RomeMUN 2017

The 8th Rome Model United Nation (RomeMUN) 2017 is the very first Model United Nation (MUN) which Very participated in during the past four years of her study in International Relations. Through International Exposure program sponsored by Djarum Foundation, she managed to pass the internal selection conducted in 2016. Out of 522 participants, undoubtedly, she was one of the top 10 delegates who secured the chance representing Indonesia to RomeMUN 2017. The selection was quite advance, participants were required to make an essay and minimum TOEFL score 550.

 That was not the first time Very overtook hundreds of opponents to secure the slot. Prior to that, she had also defeated hundreds of registrars in KLYES, becoming one of the three selected delegates of student exchange in Alaska. Others local and national recognitions that she has are Debate Winning Team Beswan Djarum and Best Paper Award for International studies and Conference in 2016.

Model United Nation, referred as MUN is an extracurricular activity which students typically role-play as delegates to United Nation and stimulate UN bodies (best delegates). The committee set particular topic to be discussed about during the conference which varies in duration. Local MUN typically takes two to three days, but international MUN takes up to six days conference from morning to evening. Every delegate has to make a position paper which states country’s view towards the highlighted issue. Very was paired with partner from Universitas Parahyangan, Bandung. They were in UNESCO council to discuss about Sustainble Development Goal (SDG) number four about Equality Education as a representation of South Korea.

“MUN is a competition to sharpen our soft skills in public speaking, writing, negotiation, and diplomacy and politic which is relatable with my major, International Relation” she explained.

In their opportunity joining RomeMUN 2017, Very and her partner were considered to be one of honorable mention although they didn’t get the award.

“RomeMUN is totally new for me. It’s really amazing feeling to join such International MUN Conference. Surprisingly, MUN was not as I expected to be. The atmosphere was very tense and thrilling. Everybody was serious. Overall, I feel happy because I was surrounded by ambitious people around the world. Moreover, my friend and I were considered as one honorable mention”

The Internal Exposure Program sponsorship by Djarum Foundation was not only to join RomeMUN but also short visit to neighboring country, Switzerland.

Very with the whole contingent of RomeMUN delegates got a privilege to visit popular sites in Italy, KBRI Roma, Colosseum, and Vatican. Whereas in Switzerland, they got chance to visit UN Head Quarter in Geneva, Red Cross Museum, Hollocaust, and any other landmarks.

Djarum Foundation delegates for RomeMUN 2017 (pic instagram.com/avcleverina)

 Future plan

Back then the question about her future plan never failed on making her confused. But now, she has clear vision of what she would do in the future.

After finishing her thesis defense about Trans Pasific-Partenership (TPP), she wants to start making her own book. The book will be a motivational book that will contain life experiences and stories of the people who have studied abroad and contributed towards the nation.

 “I’m still not really sure about how the concept of the book will be. It may be like 100 letters from the world and later there would be a continuation that will contain 100 letters from Indonesia,” she confusedly explained.

 Another thing, after she gets her bachelor degree. She wishes to continue pursuing her master degree at University of Melbourne, majoring the same subject, International Relation. After graduate from it, she plans sending her curriculum vitae to be a lecturer of International Relation at Universitas Sebelas Maret, Solo.

Even though the background of her family is academy, it doesn’t constitute her decision to be one of them. It purely comes from the willing of her heart and individual choice.

She will also still continue spreading her knowledge to others through public speaking, travel the worlds, and follow the rhythm of life.

“It feels what I gain, is not useless and pointless. But it will grow in others” she said.

Living in Alaska as an exchange student KLYES in 2011/2012 (pic instagram.com/avcleverina)

[storyofmytattoo-blog]

Two Pearls

Rittam Shrestha is one young and talented youth who returned to Nepal after the completion of his masters major in sales and marketing. He did not return empty. He fulfilled the promised he made. He was good job with good money in United Kingdom, Japan and Dubai but he came back to Nepal. He recalls that he had fallen homesick on the very first day in United Kingdom. He missed his parents so much that he was ready to take the next day flight back. However, a phone call to his parents made him change his mind. It was his parents who made him think about the future and all the hardships they had taken to fly him to UK. Today he feels proud because he did not return empty. He returned with a good degree and ample amount of experience. Remember in my first blog we had talked about Pramod Khatiwada and Eros Maharjan, Rittam is another partner of Roots Restaurant and Bar (A Bar first of its kind) and Eros Ink Studio. Rittam believed and was confident that tattooing his mom and dad´s name on his body would bring a small change in their behavior. And, yes it did. Today, his parents do not fight like they used and they have developed a peaceful relationship. His parents have appreciated his small step to bring a change in their behavior.

The tattoo on his inner left arm reads ¨Krishna and Mangala¨; Dad and Mom. It is inked in Newari Language. It carries two message. The name of his parents dedicated to his parents. He loves and respects his parents equally and dearly. To him, Mr. Krishna and Mrs. Mangala are the two pearls in his life. He says that they are the god´s greatest gift to him. ¨My mom and dad used to quarrel a lot of time. Everyday I questioned myself why they always quarrel? Why did they even get married if they were always going to fight about this and that? Why did they even gave birth to me if they wanted to fight? I tried to find an answer everyday. I could not be in anyone´s side. I was so confused at one time. Then one day I decided to get a tattoo with a hope that it will bring some change in them. And yes it did¨, says Rittam. I asked him why in Newari language he replied, ¨it represents my culture and language. I always knew if I ever get a tattoo I would get a tattoo in Newari and I did. Our Newari language is disappearing each day. Today´s teens are getting influenced by the western culture, it is a good thing. But we must not forget where we come from and what our values are. We must learn new culture but at the same time we must preserve our religion and culture.¨

The tattoo behind the right ear reads ¨Manufactured in Nepal¨. He believes that Nepal is the country he was born for. Even when he was in the UK he missed Nepal so much. He feels proud to be a Nepali. He says, ¨I am made for Nepal. I will live here. I grew up here and will grow old in here.¨ ¨The most difficult part was that we could not computerized it perfectly. We downloaded some unicodes for Ranjana Script but it was not the exact one. One day Eros met his old friend who was a Newari Teacher. He then gave us the correct spelling of the word Krishna and Mangala. I personally felt the miracle. I would have got the wrong name if Eros had not met his friend¨, Rittam shared. 

Newari language is derived from Ranjana Script. Ranjana script is also known as Kutila or Lantsa developed in the 11th century AD. It is derived from Brahmi script. Tibetans call Lantsa for writing the Sanskrit titles of books. Many original Sanskrit manuscripts written in Lantsa preserved in the old monasteries of Tibet but most of these were destroyed after the Chinese take-over.