#there was a whole scandal where he had 3 different girlfriends at the same time and at least one of them also worked there | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1kook · 4 years ago

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hulu & woohoo

summary: But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings: slight feelings of insecurity, smut; fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, handjobs, unprotected, riding, slight praise kink misc: if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read wc: 6.3k

[ this is a sequel to netflix & chill !! ]

started off silly then I was like 😳what if we sprinkled in a dilemma™️😳 anyway here’s the kook i imagined for this fic <3

Contrary to popular belief, Jungkook does in fact have his own paid subscription to Netflix. He doesn’t ride on his family account anymore, nor does he swindle his friends into sharing their passwords ‘just once.’ Just like everything else about his mature persona, Jungkook is adamant on paying those ten and something dollars for the streaming platform.

However, his fall into capitalism doesn’t end there.

Among other things, Jungkook also pays for Hulu, Amazon Prime, Disney Plus, HBO, as well as a couple indie stuff you’ve never heard of in all your years. He’s a bigger nerd than you originally thought, with an incessant need to watch every single piece of media available.

Frankly, you don’t see the need to own so many different streaming services, especially not when pirating websites exist and you could so easily watch Jersey Shore for free, if you’re not too concerned with infecting your laptop with every software virus known to humankind. Luckily for you, your app developer boo with his—admittedly tiny—knowledge in computers can iron out those issues for you.

It’s moments like these, Jungkook fiddling with the internal system settings of your laptop to the best of his abilities, that you find yourself grateful for having met Jungkook, and even if it’s been a little over two months now and he still hasn’t popped the question (“Will you be my girlfriend?”), you’d still kiss him silly.

He sighs for the umpteenth time, rubbing his eyes as he stares at the same system warning on the screen. “Babe, just pay the six bucks for Hulu and you can watch all the Jersey Shore episodes you want,” he says, leaning back in his chair as he stares at you from across the dining table.

You scoff, almost scandalized by his suggestion. “You think I have the resources to hand over six bucks every month?” You abandon your homework in front of you, the one you had so dutifully been working on before your computer was flooded with about a thousand Hot Moms in YOUR Area! notifications before abruptly shutting down. “Buddy, that's lunch at Starbucks.”

Jungkook clicks around a few more times, round glasses sliding down his nose which he will occasionally scrunch up to save from falling. “First of all, lunch at Starbucks sounds sad,” he retorts, and you kick his shin from beneath the table. He doesn’t even flinch, the damn muscle bunny, instead leveling you with an unimpressed glare. “Second of all, I told you I’d give you my passwords but you said—“

“No!” You exclaim.

Call it what you want, but that rose-tinted image of Jungkook being a saint in this world, too sweet and naive for his own good, never faded. Your brain saw it that night of your first date and ran with it, never mind the fact he was quite the devious scoundrel, gentlemanly perception be damned the way he’d tug at your skirts and your hair in public like you were on the playground, always teasing, always playing with you, so discreetly no one would ever see it coming from him, of all people. Your brain saw all that too, the little childish streak he’d get sometimes, but your heart stomped it out, wrapped up in the image of Jungkook being your golden boy, and you couldn’t possibly take advantage of such an angel’s kindness to mooch off his streaming services.

From across the table, Jungkook gives you a pointed look, as if he knows you’re trapped in that brain of yours again. Unlike you, Jungkook was easily able to pick apart your true personality, and the way the devil on your shoulder spoke more often than not. He knew you were prone to outrageous schemes and evil villain monologues, and he still kept you around. Let you linger around his home in his big shirts and eat his healthy breakfasts with him. Jungkook liked you, as silly and mean as you were, and he was very obvious about it.

“The password—“

“Is none of my business,” you halt him with a tone of finality in your voice, gesturing for him to slide the beat up laptop back over. Jungkook sighs, runs a hand over his face like you’ve worn him out, but relents.

Taking it with a triumphant grin, you settle back into your seat, nudge his foot with yours beneath the table. Jungkook nudges you back, the adorable fuzzy socks he was wearing making you giggle, a sound that finally brings a smile to his face. “Y’know…” he says, “if you’re gonna be the Disney villain you claim to be, you might as well just take all my passwords.”

Rolling your eyes, you focus your attention back on copying some notes for class, falling back into the rhythm of glancing at the screen and back at your notebook. “You’re cute,” you mindlessly hum, taking great pleasure in the rosy hue that rises to his cheeks, one he tries to hide by coughing into his elbow. You set your pencil down, watch him squirm under your gaze like he always does, blushy and shy like he hadn’t had you twisted like a pretzel beneath him an hour ago. “Don’t worry about it,” you tell him, reaching over to place your hand over his, where it’s idly tapping over some textbook he’s got out. Immediately, he turns it over, squeezes your palm in his. “I don’t mind getting thirty two viruses an hour.”

The reluctant worry in his gaze remains, sweet puppy eyes flickering over you as if trying to catch a hint of a lie. He was so adorable, you could kiss him silly. Finally, Jungkook gives in, though he does so with a lot of effort; letting you fool around on pirating websites truly was the bane of his existence. “Just bring it to me if it breaks down again, okay?” He settles, and you nod.

To your surprise, he brings your hand up and presses a kiss to the back of your knuckles, holds your gaze like he absolutely adores you.

He was so handsome, so caring, and so blatantly not yours.

—

“Not heading to your boyfriend's house today?” Doyeon asks the second she steps into your shared dorm, fighting with the boots on her feet. In the last two months of knowing Jungkook (everybody say thank you, Kim Namjoon), it’s become rare to see you home for more than two nights in a row. Jungkook was irresistible in more ways than you could count. If you weren’t falling into bed with him, you were smothering his cute face on the couch, or hovering behind him in the kitchen.

“Not my boyfriend,” you deny, huffy, and she knows how you feel about the subject, which is why she only prods more.

“Wow,” Doyeon drawls, glancing over your shoulder where you’ve got Jersey Shore playing on one half of the screen, an essay document on the other. “The man you see every other night, who looks and fucks like a god, who buys you a shit ton of presents, and treats you like you’re his world… is not your boyfriend?”

On screen, the toxic couple of the century is engaged in another screaming match, the reality tv show quickly spiraling as dramatic music takes over the speakers.

You scratch the back of your head. “Yeah. Well.”

Doyeon almost combusts at your response, flinging herself onto her twin bed in disgust. “He is a fool, a court jester if you will,” she seethes. “You're the hottest babe in a fifteen mile radius chasing after him and he still hasn’t asked you?”

Deciding you can’t comfortably watch the toxicity on screen with Doyeon talking so loudly, you slam down on the spacebar to pause the show. The fickity website, set out to ruin you since you first discovered it a few weeks ago, crashes. It takes your half-assed essay with it as the whole computer suddenly blacks out. You sigh.

“And on top of that,” she’s still going, “you’re hot and evil. Like bro. Come on.”

“Yes, I’m sure every man dreams of getting with an evil seductress,” you sarcastically reply, reaching for your phone to text Jungkook for help, when you suddenly remember why exactly you’re not with him right now. He’d gone to Busan to visit his family this weekend, a quick trip, he’d told you with his tongue down your throat. You shiver at the memory.

You still really want to watch Jersey Shore, though. Almost desperately. It’d been a long time since you watched it, and you honestly forgot the pivotal role that and a bunch of other reality shows had played in shaping you into the conniving woman you were today.

Doyeon seems about done with her tirade against Jeon Jungkook, dramatically storming into the en-suite bathroom you share with your neighbors.

Tapping your phone against your lip, you carefully consider your options. You could just boot your laptop back up, pray for the best and move on. But the 240p episodes were doing a number on your eyes, and for a moment you considered handing over those six bucks to pay for a Hulu membership.

It’s short-lived, and eventually you settle on calling Jungkook.

He answers on the fourth ring, and wherever he is is insanely loud. There’s voices shouting, lots of bustling, until eventually a door closes and Jungkook’s silky voice oozes through the speaker. “Baby? What’s up?”

“Hi,” you respond, feel something disgustingly sweet settle in your chest. “Is this a bad time?” You ask tentatively.

Jungkook laughs, low and raspy. “No,” he tells you, and you hear the smile in his voice. “Never a bad time for you.”

You could lunge through the screen right now, rain kisses down on his face until he’s giggling, telling you it’s too much. The feeling in your chest tightens, and you almost blurt out something embarrassingly cheesy, but a voice in the background calls for him, and Jungkook’s voice responds, “In a sec, mom. I’m talking to a friend right now.”

The glass roof shatters.

Even though you’d just told Doyeon you two weren’t a thing, despite all the coupley things you did, something about Jungkook telling his mom you’re just a friend isn't right. You frown, listen as his mother, a voice just as delicate as his, asks him to grab something from inside. With each second that ticks by, the discomfort you feel grows tenfold, until you’re barely holding yourself together.

Eventually, Jungkook returns. “So what’s up?” He asks again, and you remember what you initially called for. Putting on your big girl pants, you brush your uncalled for insecurities to the side, making sure he can’t detect anything in your tone.

“Your Hulu password. Can I have it?” You say, realize how robotical your voice sounds and belatedly throw in a, “please.”

Jungkook laughs, loud and boyish. The sound almost makes you melt, makes you fall for him even more. The niggling doubt in the back of your head still rings, but it’s temporarily washed away by the man on the phone. “Finally giving in?” He chuckles, doesn’t give you time to respond. “Sure, babe. I’ll text you the login stuff.” You hum, twirl your pencil idly as Jungkook announces he has to go, something about his family waiting on him. You bid him adieu, send him a halfhearted kiss over the phone, and only hope he feels half as content as you do when he does the same for you.

You don’t want to be dramatic about it. In your heart of hearts, you know Jungkook is just more reserved when it comes to dating. He wants to be one hundred percent sure your heart is in the same game as his, tied to the same rules, and putting in the same effort. But there’s a seed of insecurity that plants itself in the back of your head, tells you the reason Jungkook hasn’t asked you out is simply because you’re not good enough.

Jungkook was as rich as they come—not in money, but in personality. (Well, with the way he was advancing through his career, you get the sense he’ll be rich rich in the next few years too.) He had a huge heart, so caring and supportive of those around him, and an even bigger moral compass—hence the ridiculous amounts of streaming services he paid for—and you strongly believed no one was worthy of standing beside someone as wonderful as him.

Sadly, that meant you too.

Jungkook was your dream lover, and with every passing day, you were beginning to think you weren’t his. It had been two months since your first date, and realistically speaking, you know it’s not weird for people to casually date for such a time. It hadn’t been that long, truthfully, but the way you and Jungkook had clicked made it seem so.

He treated you like a queen, pleased your heart and body like no other. None of what Doyeon said earlier was a fib—he picked you up from school in that classy Benz, let you stay the night and sleep in his clothes, ate you out in the morning like you were his breakfast. You acted like you were in a relationship, but what exactly were the two of you?

Were Jungkook’s feelings even at the same level as yours?

Some days, you couldn’t fathom the idea of being so far away from him, texting him incessantly to feel a semblance of his presence. There was always a metaphorical elephant sitting on your chest, the weight of your unlabeled relationship, your insecurities, waiting for him to finally cut you off, decide you’re not what he wants. You wonder sometimes if he sees you out of convenience, but you always remind yourself Jungkook was too emotional and soft to drag someone around like that. (Or was he?)

Realizing how deep you’ve fallen into your spiraling pit of uncertainty, you shake yourself of those thoughts, mindlessly typing in the Hulu login credentials Jungkook texts you.

—

You’re in the student center when Jungkook comes home, laptop and books spread out over a circle table to stop anyone else from coming up to you. You’ve got your headphones in, the background sounds of late 2000’s club music from a Jersey Shore episode drifting through your ears.

A hand suddenly grabs onto your shoulder, and you send nearly half the table’s contents onto the floor when you screech, leg blindly kicking the table. “Woah, woah,” Jungkook calms, pulling out an earbud for you, and the sight of his face makes you relax again, before you’re striking his chest.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” you warn, shooting daggers at him as he pulls a chair close to you, plopping down beside you. Jungkook laughs, kisses your temple.

“You doing okay, beautiful?” He inquires, and your heartbeat, which had only just begun to settle from your fright, lurches at the hooded gaze he sends you.

You nod, unconsciously lean closer to him. Jungkook smiles, cheeks pulled tight when you plant a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Glad to hear it,” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to keep you close.

You never thought you’d be one of those people. Y’know, the couple shoving PDA down everyone’s throats in a very crowded place. But you can’t help it with Jungkook, gaze honed in on the mole beneath his lip as he recounts his trip to his family’s place. His hair is fluffy again, parted a little to the side to show his forehead. He’s got that big dark hoodie on, the one you love. Your love-addled brain thinks, I could give you a family, but you quickly shut that thought down.

There was no need to think as much for a man who wasn’t even your boyfriend.

Before you can spiral, there’s a set of fingers brushing over your neck, almost casually. You return your attention to Jungkook, watch him leisurely gaze over the bustling students around you. “Missed you,” he says quietly, like he doesn’t want anyone to hear. Hell, if your eyes hadn’t been trained on his face, you don’t think you would’ve.

Finally, he glances back at you. He says nothing, his eyes dipping down to your mouth. He leans forward, presses a smooch to your lips, only to smile at you afterward. “Come over?”

The difference between you and Jungkook is that you were very obviously, outwardly evil. You were not embarrassed to admit you were scheming, or that you had ulterior motives behind doing something. You used what you had to your advantage, mastered all types of expressions to get what you wanted.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was a subtle schemer. In fact, he was so goddamn subtle, you doubt he even knew he was a schemer.

But he definitely was one, and your experiences with him were enough to convince you so. There were times he’d stare at you longingly, like a puppy, until you’d do something for him. Times he’d use his demure face to lure you into going to the hardware store for him, into watching some boring documentary with him. Times, like now, where his voice was a little too smooth and low to be considered his normal pitch, clouded gaze sweeping over your features until you understood what he meant by come over.

Numbly, you nod, watch the quirk of his lips as he kisses you once more before gathering your things for you.

The car ride passes by in a flash, Jungkook’s hand on your knee, your head in the clouds. You imagine how easy it would be to just lean over right here, tug him out of his sweats and get that super suck 5000 on him. But Jungkook’s shy, the devil on your shoulder croons, he’d like it better in the backseat, where no one can see.

Your bag hasn’t even touched the floor yet when he pushes you against the door of his house, shoes and coats half off as he envelopes your lips with his.

His hands are warm, cupping your neck to guide you through the kiss, blindly pulling you down the hall. You feel him falter by the stairs, torn between just throwing you on the couch and ravishing you there or making the trip upstairs to the comfort of his bed. You reach up, run your fingers through his hair. “Wherever you want, baby,” you reassure him, and become consumed with glee when his hands grab into the backs of your thighs, hitch you into his arms as he rushes the two of you up the stairs.

The bed is as fluffy as you remember it, and you bounce up towards the pillows after he drops you on the end. He tugs his shirt over his head, chocolate strands coming out a mess afterwards, before crawling up your body. Jungkook’s hands are incessant, grabbing onto every inch of you he possibly can. He kisses up your tummy, pushing your shirt up as he goes, hikes it over the swell of your breasts to gently fondle them in his palms.

When he’s just about suffocated himself between them, he pops back out, catches your gaze with a twinkle in his. “Hi,” you squeak, and Jungkook grins, leaning up to kiss you.

“Hi, pretty girl,” he returns, let’s your tongue slide into his mouth, sucks on the appendage teasingly. You whimper, and Jungkook releases. “You miss me?” He asks, and if you hadn’t been well-versed in the art of Jungkook’s sexy talk, you wouldn’t have noticed the tingle of nervousness that curls around the question.

You placate him, “always.”

It’s all Jungkook needs as he wiggles you out of your clothes, shucks them off somewhere to the side. His hands trail over your body, massage your breasts and pinch the nipples. You sigh, melt into the sheets as he runs his palms over you. He rolls you over, pulls your hips up and carefully pushes your face into the mattress, pushing your hair to the side to peck your neck when he leans over.

“So soft for me, sweetheart,” he purrs, hands slithering around your waist, down your abdomen until the tip of his pointer finger is idly swirling over your clit.

You whine, clutch the comforter beneath you at the touch. “Oh, fuck,” you groan, push your hips back against him. He’s still got his sweats on, and you want desperately to turn around and rip them off of him, feel the press of his cock against your ass.

As if sensing your urgency, Jungkook calms you with kisses trailing over your spine, hot breath fanning over your neck. His fingers slow, just barely grazing over your clit. “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” He asks, and you struggle to choke out a response when he presses his finger down against you.

“No,” you eventually gasp, jolt when his hand reaches down, glides through the swollen folds of your cunt.

As if content with your response, Jungkook lets his fingers caress you for a few beats, laps against the side of your neck as you whimper, beg him to continue. When he does, it’s with no ounce of his usual gentle attitude, two fingers shoving forcefully past the tight clench of your pussy lips, deep into your cunt. You shudder, gasping into the sheets.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises, flutters a kiss right below your ear. Your neurons are working overtime, unsure of what to do as he explores your cunt, fingers dragging against your walls. You want to close your eyes, bask in his touches, but every brush of his fingers has them rolling back, fluttering open. “This pussy is mine, isn’t it?”

His fingers curl, briefly brushing over your soft spot. But it’s enough to make you cry out, pant against the sheets. “Yours,” you choke, push back against him like he’ll do it again.

A thumb circles your clit, and the tight feeling in your belly snaps, has you crying out his name as your first orgasm in a few days washes over you. “Jungkook,” you whimper, nearly sob when his hands pull away, letting you flop down onto the mattress in a boneless heap. Your thighs feel sticky, and you watch blearily as Jungkook hovers behind you.

“So quickly?” He chuckles, turning you back over. He spreads your legs, exposing your pussy to the cool air of the room, and you shiver. A lone finger drags over your cunt, collecting the glossy substance on the tip, before Jungkook is sucking it into his mouth.

He had an affinity for this kind of stuff, you’ve learned. Like he genuinely thought your cum was the most delicious thing in the entire world. That being said, you’re not surprised when he ducks down, pushes your legs to your chest as he begins devouring your pussy.

“Slow down,” you gasp, hand curling in his hair as he spares you not, sensitivity be damned. He was gonna lick you clean. He groans, tongue shoved into your cunt, cute nose brushing against your clit. “Kook,” you warn, though it’s more of a shuddered cry. “I-I’ll come again.”

He pulls off with a wet smack, licks over his tongue as he narrows you with a daring glare. Gone was your sweet Jungkook, replaced with this cum-eating heathen who only purrs, “in my mouth” at your warning.

You scream when the second orgasm hits you, pushing his face against your cunt as his tongue continues, lapping at your folds and your hole as a gush of wetness spurts out of you. For a second, your vision pales, soundless cries caught in your throat as you come all over his face. When you touch down on earth again, your body feels featherlight.

Jungkook is watching you from between your thighs, his face, hair, and chest glistening. “Oh fuck,” he gasps, shit-eating grin slowly consuming his features. “Did you just.”

You groan, cover your face with your palms as Jungkook settles over you, beaming excitedly at your newest ability. “No,” you whine, pushing him away from where he’s basically glued to your cheek. “That’s so weird.”

He laughs, cute and airy. “Fuck, sweetheart, you squirted all over me,” he sighs, cuddles against you, and you wrap your arms around him only to hide your face in his shoulder, also glistening with your pleasure. He shifts closer, and the hard press of his cock rubs along the inside of your thigh.

“Can we take a break?” You murmur quietly, hesitantly. “I can’t feel my legs.” Jungkook nods, presses a kiss to your temple as he gets off the bed, tossing his t-shirt over to you. He stumbles towards the en-suite, comes back with a dry face and chest; his hair is still damp. He tugs the sheets out from under you, cuddles close. He’s got the two of you wrapped up in no time, your head cradled against his shoulder as he reaches out blindly for the tablet he keeps on the side of his bed, the Hulu app already open.

“Any requests?” He hums, scrolling through the multitude of movies and shows. You wiggle closer, stop his finger when he returns to the home page, and Jersey Shore is the first thing to appear. “You’re kidding.”

“It’s a good show!” You defend, click on it before he can argue. You press closer, throw a leg over his waist where you can feel his still rock hard member hiding beneath his sweats. Poor guy, you think, he must be suffering. But you have to rest for a moment if you wanna ride the shit out of him and knock him breathless like you’d planned.

Jungkook doesn’t comment on the erection he’s sporting, instead choosing to criticize everything wrong with Jersey Shore. You’re not surprised. He’s an avid film nerd, obsessed with ‘real’ storylines, not whatever reality tv shows were.

You’ve seen this episode about a hundred times, so you don’t really mind that he completely ruins it for you with his nitpicking. It’s cute, listening to him ramble about television integrity while you listen to the subtle thudding of his heart beneath your ear.

He’s on his fifth slandering of DJ Pauly D when you decide you’ve had enough, muscles in your legs feeling rejuvenated as you wiggle into his lap, toss the tablet off to the side as you straddle him. “That show makes you hard?” You tease, let your sensitive folds settle over the bulge in his pants.

Jungkook combusts, cheeks flushing at your jab. “No,” he huffs, “my pretty girlfriend’s boobs pressed up against me does.”

You short circuit.

“Huh?” You blurt dumbly. Jungkook rolls his eyes, too concerned with guiding your hips over his crotch to realize you’re having a complete meltdown in your head. An airy moan leaves his mouth, head lolling back against the pillows, when he moves you just right, grinds against you perfectly. But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. “Kook,” you say, cup his face in your palms to force him to look you in the eye.

Jungkook huffs, pointedly looking down at where you sit on him, “babe, gonna need you to—“

“What did you say?” You interrogate, press your foreheads together until he has no choice but to look at you.

Annoyed with your act, he groans. “Babe, your hips,” he urges, almost desperately.

“No,” you retort, “not until you say it again.”

“Say what again?” He cries, lips twitching in irritation, and you’re about two seconds from behind shoved into the mattress, pounded into from behind like he’d done the last time you teased him a little too much.

“That I’m your girlfriend!” You exclaim, heart hammering in your ears.

Jungkook seems to finally halt at that. “Oh,” he responds, leaning back to scan over your expression. “You are?” He says, unsure of what point you’re trying to make.

Your brain fizzes at the news. “Since when?” You cry, suddenly feeling dumb for all the time you spent moping over this perfect boy you thought didn’t want you. “You never asked!”

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed stare, reaches over for the iPad you tossed to the side, some dramatic fight scene on a boardwalk taking place on screen. You wanna scream. Why is he so concerned with Jersey Shore now of all times?

Before you can rain down your displeasure on him, he’s turning it around and showing you a bookmarked email.

It’s from you, apparently, sent a few weeks back at exactly two in the morning. You glance at the date received. It’s from Doyeon’s half birthday, when the two of you had drunk yourselves silly on wine. The title is some mix of dashes and exclamation points, but that’s irrelevant when the contents of the email come to view, some stupid slur of beeee myyy boyfrienderdd????? ;))((;;; that has your jaw dropping in mortification.

You glance back at Jungkook, who seems just as confused as you. “What the hell?” You shriek, snatch the tablet from his hand to see that not only was it a single email, but a thread of emails all asking the same question—there’s even a three stanza sonnet detailing your love for the mole on the side of his neck. You could die. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?! I was so drunk— how could you even take me seriously?”

Jungkook shrugs, almost amused now as he watches you scroll through the twenty emails you sent him. “The next day you told me you really liked me over lunch, so I didn’t mind. Besides, drunk words are sober thoughts, y’know.”

You stare in disbelief. “You told your mom I was your friend,” you whisper.

The blood rises to his cheeks quickly. “Babe,” he sputters. “I’m not exactly introducing her to every girl I date after three weeks.”

It makes sense, and you hate how much it does so. Pursing your lips, you look away, focus on the bedside table and hope he doesn’t see the tears that threaten to spew out of your eyes. He does, he always does. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He hums, sits up to pull you into his arms. One hand brushes over the back of your head, gently. Softly. “Did that upset you?”

You shake your head no, can’t help the ugly Kim Kardashian sob that rips itself from your throat. “I thought you didn’t like me,” you sniffle, covering your face with the iPad when he tries to duck closer and get a look at you. “Because it’s been two months.”

Jungkook shushes you, hugs you close to his chest as you cry like a baby over some apparently unjustifiable doubts. “That big brain of yours,” he sighs, kisses the frown of your head. “Too busy being evil to be logical.” You whine in protest, and Jungkook chuckles, carefully laying back with you clinging to his chest.

He lets you cry it out, palms rubbing over your back, listens to the annoying Jersey Shore opening song playing when the episode ends. When you’re done, you sit up, try to pretend your eyes aren’t swollen and puffy. Jungkook smiles. “All good?”

You might love him.

“I’m gonna ride you,” you announce, and he chokes in surprise, and before he can try to convince you it’s okay, you’re wrestling his sweats and boxers off, taking his half hard cock into your hand. Jungkook flounders, tries to calm you down, but you’re on a mission, working your hand over him until he’s fattening in your hold, melting into the pillows.

“Baby,” he grunts, rolling his hips into your palm. You lean over, pucker your lips and let a thick drop of saliva fall onto the tip of his cock. It trickles over your fingers, makes it easier to run your hands over him. Jungkook groans, reaches down to cup his hand over yours, urging you to squeeze tighter.

When he’s finally as hard as you want him, tip engorged and angry, you sit up, place your palms on his chest as you scoot over him. Jungkook watches you with dark eyes, skin flushed as you line him up. His hands reach for your hips to steady you, tiny gasps falling from his lips at the first prod against your folds. You’re wet from watching him squirm beneath you, from feeling the heavy weight of his cock in your hand, and you hope he feels how much he excites you.

“That’s it,” he croons as you slowly sink down on him, whimpers catching in your throat from the stretch. “That’s my girl.”

Jungkook is purposeful with his words, smiles at you when the muscles in your thighs jolt at the term. When you’re seated to the hilt, folds brushing against his pelvis, Jungkook ruts experimentally. “Fuck,” he chokes breathlessly.

You let your body adjust, spine tingling with every subtle shift from the man beneath you, still so sensitive from your two orgasms from before. Jungkook waits, even though you know all he wants to do right now is fuck up into you like a madman.

When you’re relaxed enough, you begin to move, pushing yourself on your knees slowly, hissing at the drag of his cock against your folds. “F-Fuck,” you whimper, fingernails scratching against where you’ve got them on his chest still. Jungkook grips your hips tightly, and you unconsciously reach for his forearms to steady yourself instead.

“There you go,” he purrs as you slowly pick up the pace, cock sliding inside of you rougher, faster. You know it’s mostly him, muscles in his arms flexing as he moves you up and down, but you don’t care—it feels so good, the upward curve of his cock brushing against your soft spot with each drop of your hips.

He holds you down on one thrust, grinds you over his cock until your clit is rubbing against him roughly, and you cry out his name. You want to kiss him, so very badly, but your position makes it hard. Besides, the sweat beginning to pool in the deep of his collarbones hinted at his oncoming orgasm.

Still, you can’t help the way your eyes instinctively go to trace over his mouth, pouty lips pushed out even more in exertion, teeth grinding together every time your pussy swallows him anew. “Kook,” you mewl, hips bucking forward.

He hums, plants his feet firmly on the mattress as he begins fucking into you. “What is it?” He grunts, pistons into your dripping cunt as you whimper, pleasure crawling up and down your spine. “My pretty girl needs something?”

You wail, nod your head as he continues fucking, ramming his cock into your quivering hole, precum dripping over him. “Yours,” you gasp, mind stuck on what he’d said earlier. “‘M all yours,” you sob, body finally giving out, and you barely catch yourself from falling into him with a palm pressed flatly against his chest.

Jungkook smirks, bucks into you brutally, like he wants you to fall into a boneless heap on top of him. “Yeah, you are,” he groans, as you finally give in, lips brushing against his ear when you flop down on him. “My pretty girl,” he huffs, and you nod, muscles pulled taut as your orgasm begins looming over you. “So cute and mean,” he rambles, lips pressed to your temple. His hips are beginning to lose their rhythm, thrusts growing stilted as he chases his high. “But you know what?” He murmurs, and you whimper. “I like her just like that.”

If his words don’t knock the air out of your lungs, your orgasm surely does. It makes you shudder, the way his hands run over your body, cock ruts into your heat, and you almost cry when the pleasure gets a hold of you. Your muscles tighten, and then loosen, melting into his chest. You’re trembling in his arms, like a leaf holding onto a branch for dear life, choked gasps of his name muffled against his neck.

Jungkook pistons into you, rounds the final corner in his race to orgasm, and eventually spurts his hot cum into you, coats your walls as another reminder that you’re his. He’s a silent orgasmer, sounds catching in his throat as his body twitches beneath you, silent even afterwards as he regains his senses.

A few moments later, you’re shifting out of his hold, pushing yourself onto your elbows to glance down at him. Jungkook’s eyes are shut, but, as if sensing you’re looking at him, he flutters them open, chocolate irises softening at the sight of you.

“Holy shit,” he groans, rolls you off of him carefully. His hand brushes over your thigh, like he’s contemplating licking you clean again, but you stop him with a pointed raise of your brows. “Fine. Pass me the tablet.”

You do, and it’s almost unnerving how easily the two of you slip back into comfort, Jungkook changing into some shorts and handing you your discarded panties, before climbing into bed to watch Jersey Shore. You’ve missed about an entire hour-long episode, so you end up rewinding until the point you last saw.

“You and your Netflix and chilling,” Jungkook snorts, head nestled against your breasts. You roll your eyes.

“This is Hulu,” you point out.

“Oh yeah,” he hums, snuggles closer. His body feels so nice and warm over yours, hands wrapped around you like a lifeline. You end up positioning the tablet off by your hip, supported by a pillow so the two of you can watch properly.

You’re still processing your new title, your new boyfriend, when he perks his head up suddenly, solemn gaze catching yours.

“Hulu and Woohoo,” he says, ever so seriously, and you understand why Doyeon thinks he’s a fool.

[ part three ; imax & climax ]

#goldenclosetnet #ksmutclub #networkbangtan #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook fic #mine

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sunflovverharry · 4 years ago

Text

Driving Home for Christmas

a/n: hii! i wanted to make this a super cute dad!h during christmas fic so i hope you enjoy! this fic is a part of @goldenbluesuit ´s christmas song fic challenge which i’m honored to be a part of! It's the first fic challenge I’ve entered and I’ve been nervous to post something along with all these other amazing writers, but I'm excited to post this little piece centered in the dad universe. Happy reading, and remember to read the rest of the entries as well (which I’ve read some these past two weeks and they’re fab!) <3

pairing: dad!h + y/n

warnings: none! just a cute dad!h piece

word count: 3.8k

Harry was loading the trunk of their Audi, putting all their packed suitcases and bags of presents in there. The car was smack full as this year they had another addition to their family, waiting patiently for her mum to feed her before they left the city. It was snowing heavily and Anne made sure they knew they didn’t have to drive up today with the weather making the roads worse than usual. Y/n also told him a hundred times it was his decision as he was the one driving. Harry didn’t budge though, telling his mum they would definitely be there by tonight.

This year's Christmas celebrations were being spent in Cheshire with Harry’s family seeing as they were with her family in Nottingham last year. They’ve found it works best this way rather than splitting it up to go both places every year. After four years together and buying a house at the start of this year, y/n thinks this might be the last Christmas spent out of their own home. They have their two cats (Nellie and Sunny) and having their first child it might be time to start celebrating the holiday at their own house.

«Babe, did you remember to pack the board games?» Harry heard his girlfriend ask from the threshold where they had hung a mistletoe and had Harry not been busy trying to make everything fit, he definitely would’ve turned around, ran up to her and gave her a big smack on the lips. He settled for giving her a thumbs up not swirling around as he was too busy trying to figure out how he could make most of their things fit in the trunk, thinking it was just like a game of tetris. While Harry had been doing the heavy lifting and packing; y/n had put a cute Christmas onesie on the still tiny body of their daughter, definitely small for her age but she was eating like her daddy so where the weight went they had no idea.

Olive was a generally happy, cuddly baby who more often than not reached for her dad over her mum. It didn’t bother y/n that she was a daddy’s girl, knowing how much Harry loves children and now that he has his own he’s all over her. She finds the two cuddled together on the sofa, their bed or the armchair in her nursery at least a couple times a day. Her phone is now overflowing with photos of the two and she’s hoping to put together a photo album for Harry’s birthday filled with them - knowing he’d cherish it forever.

Half an hour later they were pulling out of the driveway. Harry had checked multiple times that all the lights were out, the doors were locked and the alarm system was functioning properly. Olive was smiling as she sat still in her car seat behind y/n. She had wondered if sitting in the back with her daughter would be better, but decided against it. If she got fussy they’d stop at a gas station and she’d move to the back.

The couple was tremendously excited to bring along their little bundle of happiness and get to show her off to all of Harry’s family and friends. Of course, his family have seen her when she was a newborn but living quite far away most of them only get to see them once or twice a year. It’ll change the dynamic of how they celebrate the holidays for sure, but it's a positive change. Anne will spoil her rotten, just like she does to y/n when they visit - making her tea whenever she wants some, washing their dirty laundry (which y/n didn’t care that her mother-in-law saw her underwear cause she didn’t bring anything too scandalous) and heading to the shops when they needed even the smallest thing. Really, y/n thought she was too kind for her own good. At the same time though, y/n always did play a good host when Anne visited them - spoiling her with the comfiest bed sheets, making the food for every meal, not wanting her to lift a finger as if she was the queen.

Olive was eight months - a fairly active one at that - and loves to crawl everywhere, especially to follow her mum or dad around the lower floor of their (way too big) house for only the three (five) of them. Since the pair hadn’t brought Olive with them for such a long drive, the longest being an hour, they were anxious to find out how she’d react to being confined over a longer period of time.

Half an hour in and Olive was babbling away to the teddy bear in her arms (she got it from her nephews when she was born and has been attached to it since) as Harry and y/n talked about how excited they were for their daughter to explore her daddy´s hometown and how his whole family and friends would fall in love with Olive even more. With their little girl just starting to sleep all through the night in her own room, Anne wanted to make sure she got her own room at her nana's too, so apparently she’s cleaned the office and made it into a makeshift nursery for her granddaughter.

Y/n doesn’t know who’s more excited to see all the familiar faces, the family that’s become not only important to her in the last four years, but now also to their baby. The last time they visited Cheshire, y/n was barely two months pregnant and as tough as it was to keep it hidden from Anne for another month, they managed to keep it to the two of them (with just a handful of slip-ups). They were sure Anne knew they were having a baby with the small smirks she gave y/n and harry when she didn’t want the wine - Harry keeping to non-alcoholics in solidarity with her - which was unregular for her, normally jumping on the thought of having a glass or two after a long day.

“You know mum won’t give her up after she gets her hands on her right as we walk through the front door? Might want to hop in the back and get your fix before we get there.” Harry let out a chuckle with y/n joining in knowing just how true his words were. Anne was a godsend of a grandmother, taking Olive in her arms doting over her until she’ll start crying for her daddy. Though everyone gives her all the attention she could wish for, no one could ever do what Harry can. He’s her favorite, no matter how much I wish I could be.

Another half hour later and we were making our first stop at a local gas station in Aylesbury. We were about a third of the way in, but the weather was getting harsher with the snow falling harder and the wind picking up just a little bit. While Harry filled the car up with gas and made sure Olive didn’t start fussing, y/n went inside to get a couple snacky items for the three of them and a filled up cup of coffee for her boyfriend. Coming out of the station she could see Harry in the back with his love bug, bringing her out of the car seat as her cute little wails haltered. She was due for a feed, so they found a secluded space to park so no one would stare at her while breastfeeding their daughter.

Sitting in the front passenger seat with her daughter attached to her nipple with her baby daddy sitting in the driver's seat next to her they spent the next twenty minutes singing along to the Christmas songs playing one after the other on the radio.

Y/n had always loved this time of year - the snow, the songs (which - admittedly - she listened to throughout the entire year), the decorations, the joy and cheer. With y/n and Harry moving in together a month before Christmas, only half a year after they first began dating, they had a mutual understanding for how they would go all out with lights, trees and decorations both on the inside and outside. Though their house was gated with a high fence along the perimeter of their entire land. The trees lining the driveway all the way from the gate to where the gravel road extends into two, one leading to the garage and the other to the front door, were now lit up with strings of light going through them. It was only the beginning to their decorations, but it couldn’t be seen from the gate. More lights were lit along the house, windows were accentuated by red tape creating squares with spray along it, making it seem like snow on the glass. Though there aren’t tons of colourful lights, outside at least, the inside is littered with different colours, shining and sparkling along the staircases, mantels, dressers, counters and tables.

Olive felt like there was something new to look at, touch and be amazed by in every room of their house. As the clock sets seven in the morning, like clockwork, Harry hears Olive’s wails for him to get her out of the crib so she can move around. He kisses y/n’s forehead as he lets her sleep for another half hour to an hour like every morning before pulling on a pair of boxers and some pajama pants if it’s cold to get his daughter from her nursery across the hall.

The two of them were like two giggling girlfriends when they finally saw each other for the first time that day, not being able to keep their smiles from their similar lips. Walking downstairs Olive points at the garland wrapping the staircase and every time she sees it, a small sound of surprise and excitement exit her puckered lips. Harry talks to her about how good her mama is at decorating their house and how good it looks good for Christmas (he only helped her put up decorations, following her direct orders). Y/n had a certain way she liked to decorate and with this being the first Christmas in their house she wanted everything to look perfect.

Coming into the kitchen after turning the dimmed lights on low to have some lighting in the morning dark they had a little shimmy along the floor. Olive babbled along with Harry’s singing and mumbling to her explaining how the buttons on the walls turned on the different lights. She probably didn’t understand or care about the lights, but the two continued singing and talking about nonsense along the way. In the kitchen, Harry made her a bottle she demanded having before getting started on the omelette he makes for him and y/n every morning he’s home without fail.

When they finally got back on the road the snow was coming down heavily and the only thing they could see were the lines of cars in front of them on the M40 pushing the break every few seconds before accelerating again moving only a couple meters before breaking again. Y/n didn’t have a lot of patience in traffic - or in general - and quickly became annoyed making Harry laugh at her telling her to calm down (she wasn’t even the one who had to drive through this horrible weather). This lasted for another forty-five minutes before the snow let up just a little bit and the cars seemed to roll along the road like normal.

“I didn’t think driving home for Christmas would take this long. At least, I hoped it wouldn’t.” They’d been on the road since nine thirty this morning and now, two and a half hours later, they still have at least another two hours left until they’re at Anne’s. It wasn’t unusual for y/n to call Anne’s home, having stayed there for weeks at a time during the almost five years her and Harry have known each other. Harry isn’t unknown to calling y/n’s parents’ house his home either.

“I know. Wish it didn’t have to take this long and I’m sure little Ollie is going to get antsy soon. If the weather continues like this and we don’t have to take more than one more break, I think we’ll be there within three hours, but if we run into traffic, we might have to take more stops along the way.” Harry wanted to move along quickly to get to his mum’s before Olive’s nap time around three, if she didn’t end up sleeping in the car. We knew when we decided to drive in the morning that Olive would probably stay up the whole way, too engrossed with the cars and lights along the way to ever be able to fall asleep.

“You know what we should do to keep her happy for another half hour at least?” Y/n turned to look at Harry with a smile grazing her lips. “Play some Christmas music! She loves when we sing and dance around the house.” Playing the memories of hearing Olive’s belly laughter through the house while Harry and her danced in circles around her like another pair of idiots.

Putting on the same Christmas song list they’ve played since making it together all those years ago, the first song coming on shuffle being Santa Claus is Coming to Town. The noise was at a comfortable volume so they could still hear Olive if she started fussing though it’s unlikely and for it to not be too disturbing for Harry’s driving. With Olive seated with her back to them she couldn’t see her mummy dancing in her seat while they sang along to song after song, but she heard her parents’ voices singing out to the songs she’s heard oh so many times before.

“This is accurate, huh?” Harry snickered as Driving Home for Christmas began playing through the speakers.

“You don’t say.” It was one of their favorite songs and it fit the scene they were in, driving home for Christmas, excited to see their family, singing along the slowly getting better traffic. Looking around at the cars next to them, most of them looked to be families also driving home to be with their families for this year's holiday celebrations.

The rest of the drive was filled with more singing, two more stops for Harry to give his baby some cuddles and walking around one of the local Tesco’s they stopped at to get some more drinks and snacks. Olive was waving at everyone walking past us and talking all kinds of gibberish. While y/n grabbed the snacks, Harry had Olive walking along the aisles in between his feet while holding her little hands in his following her around the store.

A quarter to three they finally made it to Anne’s home, reversing into the driveway so they could get their baggage inside easier later in the day. Y/n saw Anne open the front door in the rearview mirror when Harry was pulling in the last meters. There was a bright smile on her face when we got out of the car. The snow had laid thick on the ground up north and the slick ice underneath made it harder to walk without having to make sure every step was carefully thought out.

Just minutes later Olive was already crawling with her little legs all over her grandma’s home, interested in anything and everything she could get her chubby hands on not seeming to be tired at all. They decided to forgo her nap and hope for an early night, which isn’t likely with everything going on around her. Anne was on granny duties right away telling the pair to sit down and relax with the tea she had prepared while she took care of the baby. There was no doubt she loved the attention from the person she might not remember from this summer but quickly became attached to, almost as much as she is to her daddy.

Harry found his place on the sofa, head in y/n’s lap and feet hanging over the armrest demanding her fingers curling through his locks. It wasn’t surprising to her that he was tired from driving the entirety of the way in traffic and tightly packed snow at times. Sure, if needed he could have stayed awake, but with his mum taking care of his little love he didn’t care much, falling asleep to his other love combing her fingers through his hair. It didn’t happen too often that they could have a cuddle in the middle of the day - just the two of them - with Olive needing their attention at all hours of the day so when the opportunity arose he wasn’t going to turn it down. He admits, though this is nice as well, that a naked cuddle in bed would definitely top laying on the sofa with his mum and daughter running around them. Maybe tonight, he thinks, as he finally falls asleep to the sound of Olive’s giggles.

As nighttime inched closer and Olive’s bedtime was passing them in the chatter and laughter, y/n told Harry to get their things from the car while she nurses Olive before getting her ready for bed. While they took care of their daughter, Anne made a nice spread of cheese and crackers for them to indulge tonight while catching up on everything that’s been going on in their lives since the last time she visited them in London.

Harry found Olive’s bag first, choosing a pair of christmassy pajamas from the mountain of clothes they had brought for her. Y/n walked upstairs to the nursery Anne had set up, seeing Harry already unpacking her bags into the cute vintage turquoise chiffonier Anne had bought from a neighbour only a couple weeks ago immediately falling in love with it.

«Would you like to have a cuddle with daddy before bed, Ollie?» Y/n firmly believed her daughter needed the nightly cuddle from Harry, just like she does, to fall asleep. She was already reaching out for him with her nimble hands waiting for him to take her in for a snuggle in his arms. There was no armchair in the makeshift nursery like they had purchased for Olive’s nursery back home where they always sat but Harry made it work. Anything for a cuddle with his baby growing way too quick for his liking.

It was no secret Harry loved babies and that only heightened when he had his own baby. With how good Olive is and how lush it’s been having a baby around and it not be just the two of them, he had thought about what it would be like with another baby around. Another little love for them to have, give Olive a sister or brother to play with. He hadn’t said anything to y/n about the thoughts he’d been having, not knowing if she'd agree with him. It’s been eight months and when they had talked about it before they agreed on a maximum of two years between their children.

Only a couple hours later they headed to bed themselves, ready for a good night's sleep before another long day tomorrow. Harry had been debating with himself whether he was going to mention babies to y/n or not - ultimately ended up with yes, he would mention it. Now they were finally alone with y/n resting her head on Harry’s pillow, her fingers delicately drawing patterns on his chest.

“I have something I’d like to discuss with you.” Harry’s voice wasn’t much louder than a whisper, not wanting to ruin the calmness around them. He wasn’t nervous so to say, but he felt his pulse quicken the tiniest bit at the thought of getting turned down. Y/n turned her head to watch Harry as he pulled her in as close as he could without suffocating her.

“It’s been lovely having Olive, right? Seems like it was meant to be to have a baby and during the holidays it’s been so fun watching her so interested in everything.” Y/n murmured her answer. She had loved having a little one to care for and to fill their days with joy over the last eight months.

“Well, with how well it’s been going with her, I was thinking we could talk about having another little one? Maybe discuss it a bit. What do you say, let's make Ollie a big sister?”

“I think we might be well on the way to making her a sister, bub.” Harry turned his head at lightning speed hearing her words, not knowing if he heard her quite right. His open mouth and big round eyes weren’t something she saw often combined as she wasn’t always the best at surprising him, but this time she was sure her secret had come as a big shock. It wasn’t as if they had been trying for a baby either, only forgetting a condom a handful times when they were too in the moment to care for it.

She found out only a week ago, thinking she could keep it to herself until Christmas day. It wasn’t difficult to hide it from him, not struggling with morning sickness and only craving sweets as if she was on her period. Knowing they had agreed on the number of children they wanted - four - she wasn’t scared of him reacting badly.

“You’re not joking, right?” Harry smashed his lips onto his girlfriends when she shook her head - no, i’m not joking - kissing her slow and long, showing her just how happy he was. They spent the night talking about how thrilled and excited they were to expand their family with more children and how great of a sister Olive would be. Baby names were flying between them, agreeing to never naming one of their babies after a city, but rather continuing naming them something more unique than Chloe or Adam.

The rest of the holiday spent up north with Harry’s family was relaxing and lovely all around. Playing board games, exploring the city with Olive (who was way too fascinated by all the snow), family dinner parties and having fun with friends they didn’t get to see all too often. Olive was wiped out after opening her presents on Christmas morning and spending all her energy on all the toys she got and the paper ripping she played with (more than the toys to be honest).

This year had been special for the family and Christmas was just the same. Olive was lively and it made y/n and Harry exhausted with everything going on, but they wouldn’t change it for the world. After all, Olive was their little girl and soon there would be another little love in their family. Trying to keep the pregnancy from their family and friends was easier this time around as she could blame not drinking alcohol on her breastfeeding and decided they would keep it hidden from everyone until the last possible minute.

#gbsxmaschallenge #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles drabble #harry styles fiction #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #fic challenge #harry styles x oc #harry styles x yn #writing

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faakeid · 4 years ago

Note

fab nygmobblepot moments that remind you of kd uwu

OMGGGG AHDAHDUIADHAD

I want to use this moment to be sorry to everyone that follows me but keeps seeing my blog full of Nygmobs/Smaylor instead of kaisoo. I usually don’t get attached to otps like this and it happened in an unexpected way for me. But it’s here and I need to compensate for all the years I didn’t watch Gotham and had no idea about Nygmobs spamming everyone and making my heart warm.

But in general, nygmobblepot isn’t a vision of ideal relationship. Both Edward and Oswald (their surnames Cobblepot and Nygma were the ones who originated this name) are stupid and do stupid shit to each other during most of the series. So, a lot of moments related with the actors counterpart (Robin is the actor who plays Oswald and Cory who plays Ed) reminds me of kaisoo more. But a warning here! Although they have a HUGE chemistry on and off screen, they’re mostly friends. Robin is married for almost ten years so it doesn’t mean their closeness is romantic or sexual. But still, some details remind me of kd.

Similarities with nygmobs:

Height difference: it applies to Smaylor as well because it’s their height but it’s really visible in the series. Cory is a bit taller than JI I think and Robin is like 1.65 but KS is not that taller (I can’t believe he’s 1.73 at all, sorry). But, again, this factor is evident during the series and in some moments and it’s cute.

(the way he moves his feet to reach Ed’s head ;_;)

(when they hug, Oswald barely reaches his shoulders [their hugs are the equivalent to kisses in Gotham])

the closest gif I could find where we can see kd’s height difference without me stealing other people’s gifs.

Penguin reference? That’s pretty obvious. Of course I didn’t start shipping nygmobs because one of them is small and has the Penguin nickname but it made so much easier for me to read some of their fics with kd as characters because they fit the profile so much! And also, I believe KD would totally fit the “murder husbands” couple if someone did a fanfic where they just kill everyone. The closest I remember of a fanfic with this criteria is Juice Pouche where Kyungsoo is a vampire and he protects Jongin and Jongin is kind of badass as well. But the kd fandom needs more fics like this. There’s also “(Before the night is over) come see me” where KS is also a vampire and JI a young werewolf but it focuses more on their relationship than a murder husbands idea Gotham shows so well.

How they met: Gotham’s history has a lot of differences if you compare with other universes, so keep that in mind. In Gotham, Ed works with GCPD but doesn’t feel like himself with the good side. Oswald is the character that spices things up and is a rage of death and destruction and manipulation. But Oswald is infatuated with Jim Gordon (so isn’t the first time it’s implied Penguin is gay) but he goes to the police department to see him. Ed sees him and wants to talk to him no matter the cost. And he does that... And things don’t end that friendly for him because Oswald thinks he’s a weirdo and asks him to fuck off, basically. It reminded me of kd’s first meeting where KS was the one admiring JI all along but JI get frightned. But, during their second meeting, they bond and become friends. For Nygmobs it takes more time for their second meeting but they end up developing and being in good terms :’)

Their personas, sort of: Ed is the tall one, younger and logic. Oswald is the oldest, smaller and that thinks with his heart. I love how JI could show the more logic side of himself during the last few years and, again, while reading Nygmobs fics using kd names, it was easy to fit the profile for me (that was during the time I wasn’t too deep into nygmobs and I didn’t knok them that well. KS looks cold and deatached and that’s why many people got impressed when he said, during Knowing Bros that he would choose love over friendship. He doesn’t play the part but, considering all the context, it fits him pretty well and reading this description of Oswald made me so familiar because it fits KD well. Ofc I don’t know their private lives and whatever but it’s just the impression I had as a viewer and random person;

Drama issue: when I say drama here, it’s related with how people percieve the two OTPs and how different people visualize LGBT relationship in media. Nygmobblepot had a lot of drama involved because they’re the fucking Riddler and Penguin, two of the most famous Batman villains. People saw them in different sorts of media before and others idolize those characters because of videogames and comics. So, when Oswald mentioned expressedly that he was in love with Edward, it caused an uproar in the fandom. People accused the producers and Robin of messing with the comic canon because the fucking Penguin became gay??? Robin was outspoken about the homophobia behind those statements since he’s a gay man himself but yeah, the drama existed. Part of the people invovled with the series rooted for Nygmobblepot, including some writers and the actors (Cory was the one with ambiguous messages about the nature of their relationship but it’s not even close what happened with other series like Supergirl, Supernatural and Sherlock). But it was aired by FOX, a right wing channel and, as you may imagine, they didn’t become canon per se. Actually, after Oswald said he was in love with Ed and planned on confessing to him, the writers presented a clone of Ed’s ex girlfriend with no explanation and purpose, only to separate them for most part of the series future. After that, some people seemed to have FORGOTTEN Oswald was once in love with Edward, rationalizing many things that are hard to explain with a “bro explanation”, they had a scene where the characters would have evolved even more but it was CUTTED and CHANGED and execs added the sentence “we’re brothers” to make EXPLICIT that Nygmobblepot’s relationship wouldn’t be interpreted as a romance at the end of the series (but, honestly, the actors went for the romance path anyway, the deleted scenes and the final episode can’t convince me otherwise).

What’s related with KD, may you ask? I think you’re familiar with all the drama KD faced since 2016 and how many stuff exploded during that time. How many parts are involved into creating a certain image and shifting it to be appealing and “friendly” is similar with what happens with idols. It’s no secret now about many scandals of bullying and other issues that are considered problematic and how they need to be pushed under the rug for companies so idols can make money and be profitable. Especially for male idols, it’s important that they are viewed as desirable and an object of the fans affections. That’s why he needs to be handsome and kind and look like a person that doesn’t exist. If an idol is openly gay, this person isn’t viewed by the major public with the same interest because they can’t fit the fantasy. That’s why scandals involving idols being gay need to be forgotten and deleted from people’s minds, otherwise that celebrity is ostracized. Although we tend to see the Ocident as “progressive”, there’s similar things happening in that industry. If a celebrity is openly LGBT, they don’t receive certain roles or opportunities because of it. There’s still a huge stigma that needs to be broken and we, as a society, are so far way from it. But recognizing those differences exist it’s a step forward.

Similarities with Smaylor

For me, one of the reasons Nygmobblepot works so well is because of the actors. They portrait a good chemistry because of their friendship off screen and some non verbal signs they display around each other are amazing. Those are things that remind me more of KD as we see them in a lot of moments. So, I wanted space to show those comparisons below:

Mutual admiration: it’s something both Smaylor and KD display a LOT and is extrememly outspoken. I really love watching their old interviews because the affection and admiration is so genuine it makes me drawn to them despite not being romantically involved.

(full gifset)

(there are more moments than these but I don’t want to steal gifs and there’s not much on the gif research and that sucks. Same with KD’s).

Stares and touches: Robin was the responsible for the deep stares and Cory for the random touches. There’s so many gifs of it that is hilarious. It’s like JI divided himself in two cells because we know he’s more known for both >.<

(Cory was touching Robin all the way during this interview rip)

(the gifset!!!)

You’re pretty moment: Robin, like KS, is the one that mentions about Cory/JI’s physical attributes. They have a moment pretty similar and, for KD its famous among shippers:

(gif link)

(actually, Robin called Cory dashingly handsome but its okay)

Cory lost it

There’s another series of gifsets with Robin calling Cory handsome LMAOO

:))))

Synchronization: for specialists in body language, it’s a factor that shows two people are close. That’s because of the mirror neurons we have that makes us copy movements, actions or words that someone we have empathy/we are close with do or say. Both kd and smaylor do this and it’s really soft.

(one of the classics)

(classic 2)

whole gifset (i love this interview so much)

(gif)

The fact the actors came up with their OTP names: people tend to forget that KD’s real otp name (according with Jongin) is dika. Cory also came up with Nygmobblepot name and Smaylor too <3

So, meanwhile Nygmobs has thropies that work a lot with KD AUs, Smaylor has healthy dynamics seen in public appearances KD made. Like I said above, there’s a huge polemic about shipping Smaylor romantically because Robin is married. On social media, is visible he loves his husband and it’s pretty cute to see. Cory himself mentioned that their relationship was sort of a platonic friendship (whatever that means) but it’s really genuine in terms of affections and display of admiration, something KD has as well.

Probably someone will question that it may changed the way I see KD or if now I ship them as bros. Nothing about that changed. With KD, although there are some similar details, there are internal AND external factors that made me support them in a romantic perspective in the first place. And it didn’t change.

But both of them (Nygmobs too) make me feel that I’m testimoning something genuine, which is really hard in both kpop and media universes. In one side, we have a LOT of fanservice. And, in the other, it’s mostly a work interaction with lots of queerbating. Yes, Gotham has queerbating aspects in it but it’s not full of queerbating, if it makes sense. The message the actors and some writers wanted to convey are there and really display a romantic direction with character evolution and growth. And, considering the way media is nowadays, it’s nice to see.

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sinfulsachi · 4 years ago

Text

After Heist

Prompt: Aftercare Additional Tags: Dom/Sub, Dirty Talk, Breath Play - Choking Words: 2.1k Fandom: Magic Kaito - KaiAo / KidAo

I dedicate this to @sup-poki, because, well, it’s Poki. :3

“It’s tonight! Kid is going to steal another gem tonight!”

“Kyaah! Will you come and see him?”

“Of course! I never miss any of my husband’s heists. Ever.”

Aoko gorges the first sip of her morning tea in silence. For that alone she contemplates changing their meetup place to a different cafe. She doesn’t want him to get overly arrogant from the unwarranted compliments, nor she to keep rolling her eyes skyward the rest of their stay. It’s too early to get this cranky.

She looks at her watch. Fifteen minutes until he arrives.

Sighing, Aoko decides to waste her time anyway listening to a conversation she’s long used to but prefers not hearing.

The adjacent fangirls converse about the Kid posters they spent the whole night finishing, the cameras they have charged overnight, where the best view is to watch his entrance...all the boring stuff.

Then, the more solemn lady between the two ponders out loud, “I wonder if Kid has a girlfriend.”

Aoko’s ears perk up.

“And if his girlfriend knows he’s a hot magician thief,” the louder blondie supplemented.

She takes a sip of tea. Yes to both, her mind answers.

“Imagine being fucked by Kid before and after his heists. I’d be sooo jealous.”

Aoko chokes on her drink.

The two girls were quick to throw her table a wary glance. Pretending to be preoccupied with the morning paper, she holds the print nearer her face and scrunches at the headline.

Safe, Aoko sighs, as her curious spectators let her go. Though for what she supposes is an extra precaution, the rowdy blonde moves her chair so that her back faces her. Aoko snorts inwardly. As if that can save her from her bat ears. Especially not with that scandalous tone.

“What if I make a sign in big bold letters, ‘Kid-sama, I want you to steal my virginity’?”

“Add a please! Beg for it and who knows, he might visit your bedroom after the heist.”

Oh god. At that instant, Aoko thinks of leaving. This isn’t the kind of conversation she wants to hear at nine in the morning. Two rabid fangirls daydreaming about being nailed by an infamous thief, who happens to be her father’s enemy, who happens to be Kaito, who happens to be her...? No, thanks. The disrespect. Her growing indignation. The damage to her brain cells. She’s not in the mood for this.

Aoko stays.

“Do you think Kid fucks hard? Or is he the slow and sensual type?” The rosette asks her other friend dreamily as if she’s asking about innocent middle school crushes.

“Oh, sister. I bet he’s a rough fucker,” the blonde replies. She leans closer to her friend and looks left and right before continuing in a much lower voice, “My two cents is he ties his girl in bed and dominates her like a champ.”

Something flashes in Aoko’s brain like a movie clip on a big white projector.

「Still clad in all white, he pinned both of her hands with his gloved one, her chest facing the wall as his other hand roamed her backside and gave her ass a delicious spank.

“Looking forward to this, my dirty little Nakamori-san?” he hissed in her ear, then nipped at the underside of her lobe with those lips that were Kid’s if she wanted, but Kaito’s nonetheless.

“Y-Yes,” she rasped, voice shaking from thrill and anticipation. It’s always after heists that he’s most insatiable.」

Pressing her cup to the seam of her lips, Aoko turns her head away from the conversing girls, in case she fails to hide her growing smirk properly.

Well, her one cent isn’t wrong.

“Oh? But I think he’s a pure gentleman in bed,” the rosette opines. “You know, always asks his girl what she wants then he’ll give it to her and more.” She squeals dreamily again.

Aoko bites her inner cheeks.

「They made it to her bed, losing clothes piece by piece as they moved. He climbed above her, and Aoko wrapped her arms around his sweaty shoulders, her fingertips exploring his chiseled back muscles for new scars. His mouth traveled her neck down her sternum, and he gave her cute little mounds gentle flicks with his palm, before taking an erect nipple between his teeth.

“Where do you want me tonight?” he asked, muffled, kissing between her breasts.

“Please... on top and inside me.”

She felt him smirk on her chest. “As you wish, milady.”」

Aoko tips her head down, staring at the ground with a funny smile on her face. Hah. She isn’t wrong either.

“Mm, that may be so, but! Hear this—” the girl scoots closer to the other, ignoring the fact that her voice becomes much more audible from that angle, “I think we can agree on one thing. Kid would be sooo discreet while he screws you. So hot, right?”

Aoko can practically hear the thirst bleeding out of the blonde’s voice. She hates it. Partly because no other woman should be fantasizing about him like that, and partly because the thirst reminds her of her own.

Discreet, they say?

「It wasn’t the echoes of distant police sirens and helicopter rotors that kept her heart pumping erratically in her chest. It was the fact that the man above her was the fugitive they were searching for, and the man instead of hiding in a safer place, chose to be in her room...

“If Nakamori-keibu knew I was doing this to his daughter, he’d figure out exactly where to search...but he doesn’t, does he?” Aoko shook her head, eyes unstably fluttering as he pounded her aggressively.

...Instead of retiring for the night, chose to land on her balcony, stealthy, as he’d done twice or thrice before...

“H-Harder,” she panted, knees trembling from the force of his body tunneling in and out of her.

"Like this?” He rammed her twice the force up the hilt and her walls clenched around him, wet and tight.

“Like that, y-yes!”

...Instead of changing first to civilian attire, chose to hold her, kiss her, and fuck her then and there.

“Yeah?” Not stopping his rhythm, his hand pinned one of her wrists on the sheets, while the other crept up her petite neck, gripped her under the jaw and gave a tender squeeze, and her mouth formed a perfect ‘O’ as he elicited from her a hot sound between a whimper and a moan. The same hand angled her tearful face up, meeting his hooded gaze, “Always ready to be choked like the naughty Nakamori-san I know, hm?”

An intense shudder ran through her spine; her mouth was so wet yet so dry, and his hand lacing her neck trapped all the words in her throat. Heady eyes still set on him, she nodded, frantic, ecstatic.

"Say it, say you love this,” he ordered, slightly loosening his grip to allow her to speak but not stopping his merciless pounding below.

“Y-Yes, s...so much...” she managed to croak.

Smirking lecherously, he leaned down to kiss the sweat and tears on her cheeks. “Very good girl.”」

Aoko bites her lip and presses her thighs together. No, she shouldn’t be feeling this pulsing ache between her legs at nine in the morning.

“But you know what the sad part is?”

“What?”

“That Kid will probably leave you out in the cold after the deed. Poof. Just like that. No trace whatsoever. I mean,” the blonde shrugs, “magician, and thief.”

“I’m fine even with that... like, that’s where we’re getting the appeal right? The mystery? As long as he doesn’t erase my memory of our love making, I’m good,” the rosette replies, and Aoko from a table away cannot believe her ears.

Clearly these girls are in it just for the thrill of the sex. Sex with the mysterious magician thief. That’s not what she’s here for and that’s what makes her different.

「“Ahh, Ka-Kai...nnh!”

Orgasmic moans filled the room as his hot essence flooded her. He continued to thrust, shooting thick spurts while Aoko writhed on the sheets, cries distorted by a thumb in her mouth. Like the tears trickling down her face, fluids oozed out her entrance down the sheets even when he hadn’t yet pulled out. The wet warmth drowned her entire body in delirious pleasure. Same with him as she felt him throb inside, cock up for more action.

They could still handle more.

Which she understood if he wouldn’t do, because his attire was still on the floor and the rotor sounds remained audible. He ought to hide soon.

But he flipped her so she was straddling him, both still connected at the hip.

“Ride me, Aoko.” It wasn’t an order; his eyes were begging. “I missed you so much.”

Her heart leapt because this was her favorite part, and he was giving it to her again. The second was much more sacred, just she and he, no alter persona. She bucked a pace, slow, going fast, lewd wet sounds interplaying with their soft grunts and moans, his nails digging her hips and hers his clavicle until for the second time she rutted on him and he in her.

She collapsed, chest wheezing, ear pressed over his drumming heart. His fingers ran up and down her spine, calming her. The sirens and rotors faded away and their inhales and exhales became much more prominent.

She felt soft kisses on top of her unruly hair.

“Not the gem you’re looking for?” she murmured on his skin after some time.

“Not the gem I’m looking for.” His hand massaged her scalp. The Kid tone was long gone; she was talking to a Kaito doing a job for his late father. That was how she had always viewed it.

“Did it hurt when I...?” he asked. Aoko smiled.

“Not as much as the wound on your back,” she answered.

“Pfft, ‘s nothing. Just a minor slip when I was hurrying here.” They both giggled.

“Please go home and fix yourself... or else Aoko will call their attention to you.” She looked up and met his tired blue eyes. His aftercares after heists were the best.

“No you wouldn’t,” he grinned, kissed her forehead.

“Yes, Aoko would.” She raised a taunting brow.

“Will you hide me under your bed?”

"No.”

“Aww, c’mon Nakamori-saaaan.”

She gigglesnorted. “Shut it or else Aoko will really expose you."」

She doesn’t hear the outward snort she makes. Nor the recent arrival of the person who has taken the seat across her.

“Warui, Aoko!” Kaito’s palms are pressed together in front of his bowed head. “Jii-chan and I had to handle some last-minute preparations. Sorry!”

“No problem.”

Kaito lags. “...No problem?”

“Aoko isn’t mad.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “You’re not mad...?”

“Actually Aoko is...” she trails off, noticing the noise of the two girls die down as their eyes rake Kaito’s side profile. The blonde whispers something to her friend, leering eyes still planted on the man. She doesn’t need to hear to know what they’re talking about.

She cannot fault them for thirsting over an infamous ‘bachelor’ magician thief everybody in Japan knows. But try thirsting over another girl’s man and who knows what she’ll do.

“Actually Aoko’s thinking if she should just meet Kaito in his house...” She tinkers with the empty cup in front of her. “But since he’s already here, she’ll just pull him with her back."

“What do you mean?”

"After those preparations with Jii-chan, Kaito may want some warm-up...”

"Warm-up?” His brows crinkle, but Aoko’s two fingers tiptoe up his hand that is on the table, and they smoothen eventually upon realization. “Oh.”

“...Think it’s a bad idea? Before heist?” She bites her lip.

“Gods, no,” smirking, he encloses her two fingers around an iron grip, and, very slowly, makes one pumping movement with his fist, “I may in fact, need some intense warm-up before the main event tonight,” he says in a low voice, and Aoko giggles.

“Stop that, someone might see us.”

He grins haughtily. “You suggested it.”

“No it wasn’t Aoko. It’s them.”

“Them?”

Aoko stands upright, pulls her bag and Kaito’s hand. “Nothing of interest,” she laughs, “Let’s go?”

“Wow, aren’t you in a hurry,” Kaito’s sneer is as wide as a Cheshire cat’s, but not as wide as Aoko’s when they pass by the two girls’ table. She feels their eyes follow them as they exit the shop, and Aoko knows it’s bad to gloat but right now she’s as good as winning a lottery. The man they are eyecandying and the phantom thief they are dreaming of screwing? Both men are about to do to her - and only to her - what they’ve been fantasizing.

Later, and tonight.

#pwp #dcmk pairing: kaiao #my writing #very late kinktober prompt so I'm not going to tag it anymore

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eternallovers65 · 4 years ago

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I was watching ikon tv on YouTube again and that made me look at a bunch of old clips from kpop, and I just want to say FUCK THE BIG 3 SO MUCH OR ANY OTHER COMPANY THAT TREATS IDOLS LIKE SHIT

JYPE

Blatantly favoritism over Twice and Stray Kids, which leads to overworking them, and zero to nonexistent comebacks to got7 and day6 (idk about itzy bc I'm not a fan). For example in 2018, Twice had 6 comebacks (japanese/singles included) and in both 2017/19 they had 5 (japanese/singles included) Stray Kids on the year they debuted, 2018, had 4 and in 2019 they had 5 (japanese/singles included).

This situation got so bad that during a vlive Jeongyeon cried because of how overworked she was. She, Mina and Jisung had to take a break from promotion, I know that those breaks were in different eras but I think that there's a link on why only members of the most overworked groups needed a break.

Also Got7 has like zero promotion, when they had the world tour ahgases were the ones to promote then, because jype didn't bought ads. The boys songs were refused so many times, Mark's schedule were canceled so he couldn't meet his family. They refused to give a solo career to Yugyeom and Mark, when they failed to protect the boys from the sasaengs which lead them moving out so many times and on why Jackson got injured.

Edit: I am more than glad to say that today, 10th of January, all members of Got7 are leaving Jype. #Got7forever💚 I love you boys, thank you for 7 years of happiness, and I'll proudly continue to support all of you

How they forced that visual and hairstyle on Jeongyeon, even tho she didn't wanted it, she said during a vlive that she wanted to grow her hair but the company used to cut shorter everytime. They are extremely strict with the weight and the food, a few artists like Sunmi already said that. Somi has told some stories about how they had to sneak food and hide eating in the bathroom, and when Momo was forced to lose 7kg in seven days only to appear in a showcase.

The famous situation flag situation with Tzuyu. She was 16 when that happened, she introduced herself as Taiwanese and held the Taiwan flag as well. Which lead to many to many chinese users saying she was a pro-independence activist, she was barred from the Chinese television and suspended of all her activities in China. 2 months later, on the day of the election in Taiwan, Jype posted a video of her reading an apology saying that there's only one China and she is extremely proud to be Chinese. She was 16 at the time, and you can see during the video that she is so scared, sad and clearly hesitating on saying what she's reading, the whole video just has this weird, forced vibes. The 3 presidential candidates said that video was too cruel for a 16 year old girl and that she didn't need to apologize.

I will never forgive yg for disbanding 2ne1, for not helping G-Dragon when he was accused of plagiarism and started suffering from depression but had to continue with the promotion. Same thing with Top that was diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, and suffered a overdose because of the marijuana scandal but yg had also nothing to say.

For releasing Hanbin in a DAY because of false accusations, while it took them WEEKS to release s***gri and only after he released a statement saying that he was leaving bigbang. And for not telling the public or for not defending Jennie during that time everyone were saying she was lazy when in fact she had an ankle injury, but still continued the promotions.

Whether we like to admit or not, SM is probably the best company in the kpop history if we're talking about success, they have a formula that works over and over again, it's a pattern, we can especially see it in Suju, Shinee, Exo and Nct. But omg they have zero compassion for their idols.

Starting from the training, we all know the training for the debut is really difficult, but a lot of people say that between all the companies SM is the worst one, they are extremely strictly and controlling , especially the managers who abuse the power. They have this curated-ness that is quite toxic, and leads to an incredibly perfectionistic and controlling management system. Kai used to practice 8 hours a day so that everything was perfect, like surely work it out bc Kai is one of the best dancers in the industry, but still that's a lot of hours you're basically overworking yourself (I think)

As a result, many idols have even more outstandingly brutal beauty standards than there already are in the kpop industry generally. especially intense weight-loss standards, Taeyeon already said this, during the first 5 years of GG she was constantly battling with eating disorders. Baekhyun has this diet where, instead of eating the food he only chews and then spits out, Sehun in 2017 (I think) had this stage on the Exo tour and he said that he spend an entire month on diet, so he could do that stage. Taemin said on a few episodes of Mtopia that he was on a diet, but you can clearly see that he was extremely thin. Also they have a part in their contracts about plastic surgery, you can see that almost every SM artist has done it a double eyelid surgery.

The blatantly favoritism over Korean idols and the mistreats that happens with idols that aren't Korean (especially with they're chinese), as we saw many times already with examples like Tao, Kris, Luhan, Lay, Winwin, Ten and Lucas before they joined WayV. Or favoritism with certain members of groups, like Taeyong in Nct, of course that favoritism is a part of their formula but still pretty fucked up.

They have such a questionable promotion, like I already read once about. They said that SM promotes the new groups so they can form a better fan base and that way no longer will need the promotion, but still this is extremely bad. Like with BoA, Tvxq or Suju who are still relevant but we barely hear news about them because SM doesn't promote then, and I can already see this with Exo especially in their latest comeback.

They manage mental health horrifically. Like with Taeyeon in 2014/15 when a member (bc SM treated Jessica as garbage) of her group had to leave, which lead to the midia saying it was her fault alongside with the hate she received at that time because of her relationship with Baekhyun, that lead to her depression and eating disorders. Same thing happened with Baek, although he didn't receive the same amount of hate, he still had to suffer with his relationship being in the spotlight while 3 members of his group left, because AGAIN SM treated them as fucking garbage.

For stop carrying about f(x), as a result lead to a witch hunt on Victoria saying that it was her fault for that happening, for Sulli who was suffering from a mental illness but never received a break nor the protection from the media that used to say that she was a bad example. For Jonghyun who was also suffering from depression but never got any help or a break.

And our latest examples Irene and Chanyeol. I don't approve Irene's actions, but the fact that the media is so ruthless with her it's ridiculous and even more ridiculous of SM to not defend their idol, especially when there's so many other celebrities that are WAY worse than her. And for Chanyeol, who was accused of cheating on his girlfriend 10 times, but SM had nothing to say or to defend his image. It took the fans for that to happen, the fans were the ones to find out that was a fake and cover up scandal so the news about the government crisis were not to be seen.

They are so bad at dealing with idol apologies, like why did Taeyong in 2016 had to apologize for something he didn’t do, but they never had anyone apologize for their racist or the cultural appropriation that the idols have done many times already in a lot of mvs????

That's why I hate the kpop industry and the media so fucking much, bc they're ruthless and assholes who are putting so much pressure on the idols, who in the end of the day are humans and are deserving of things like love, privacy and a break to take care of themselves. I truly adore kpop and the dramas, but I'd stop watching and listening with all of my heart if it means that they would stop treating humans beings as fucking trash! They deserve so much more!

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

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illfoandillfie · 4 years ago

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ok sorry but how many people do yall think rog has ever slept with cos i’m guessing four figures no lie

okay, i don’t normally respond to messages like this because, frankly, i dont really feel like its my place to speculate on roger’s sex life. Theres a difference between writing a fiction story with a character named after and inspired by him and discussing his actual personal life which i have no real knowledge about. What he gets up to in his free time is between him and the women he does it with. but i didn’t really feel able to ignore this one. please don’t take this as me telling you off or shutting you down or anything like that. If you want to speculate about roger’s body count thats up to you, go nuts with it. and i love when you guys message me and I don’t want to discourage you from feeling like you can talk to me or just send me your random thoughts or whatever about any subject. But I feel like I need to address why I disagree with this sentiment. Also so I can ask ya’ll to please stop asking me questions like this.

So firstly, just to get this out of the way. 1000 is a lot. even 100 is a lot. I think if rog had slept with 1000+ people he’d have a least a few illegitimate kids and probably would have been checked into rehab for sex addiction (not to mention STIs and such because lbr people in the 70s specifically probs werent the most careful especially if drugs were involved). I mean even if we were going to say Rog got lucky with a different woman after every show we wouldn’t reach 1000. According to google, Queen played around 700 shows in their entire career. If we add shows played by The Cross thats only another 67 odd shows (according to wikipedia).

now, i think there are 3 things that contribute to this idea of roger as especially promiscuous. 1. His attitude/demeanour/general way he sells himself. 2. the generally held conceptions about rock stars and rock star behaviour. and 3. what i’m going to call fandom dumbassery (but i mean that with a lot of love)

So lets start with the man himself. Roger Taylor is loud and opinionated and not particularly humble. He knows he’s talented and attractive though for at least some time he was a little self-conscious about how feminine he looked. He’s always up for a laugh, likes to party and has admitted to enjoying his drink and his women. He’s had kids with two different women, who’s relationships “overlapped”, and is currently married to a third. At least that’s the perception we can gleam from his interviews, behind the scenes videos, and other public appearances.

It’s easy to see how that image leads to accusations of being a womaniser and a cheater and basically a bit of a slut lmao. But here’s the thing. I think Roger, in part, markets himself that way. The thing is, if you look at his solo songs and the relationships he currently has with his kids and their mothers, and things other people have said about him/his relationships over the years, I think it’s fair to say he also has a bit of a romantic streak maybe? idk if thats the best way of describing it...he’s self confessed to not being a fan of marriage and the like but he’s not opposed to writing and singing love songs and seems to believe in ~love~ as a concept/power. He certainly cares deeply for those closest to him. Whether or not that translates to an agreement with monogamy I can’t say for certain. It’s hard to draw conclusions here because a lot of what we know of his personal life was fed to us through magazines and news paper gossip column articles and they were never looking for the truth, they were looking for scandal and sensationalism.

For instance the whole thing with the overlapping relationships. I think most people who have read anything about roger and dom and debbie realise that it’s not as cut and dry as “he was cheating with debbie and left dom for her” even though that was the story being sold by the press at the time. The reality (or at least the version closer to reality since obviously no one outside of them and whoever they were closest with knows all the nitty gritty details) is that rog and dom had already split when they got married. it was a marriage of convenience to make sure her and the kids would be looked after financially etc even after he’d moved out. So while it looked to the public like he married one chick and 30 odd days later was spotted with another, there really wasn’t anything untoward happening. I’m not saying he never had casual hookups or one night stands and i’m not saying he never cheated, but I do think some of it’s been exaggerated, whether by him to encourage the rock star perception or by newspaper/magazine articles.

Now, obviously, we have stories of rog, particularly in the late 60s and into the 70s, being with multiple women. There’s that bit in the Interview with a Queen “Groupie” (which is a fantastic read and i defs recommend checking it out if you havent already) where she talks about roger being a chick magnet and says that, at the time, it was pretty common to sleep about. But, she also says she didnt notice him doing it more or less than anyone else and seemed to mostly be with Jo (his girlfriend at the time). This is the same Jo that got a mention in the Queen in 3D book (”i think we all had the feeling that these two were together for life, but it was not to be”). Conversely, we have that quote (which i cannot find rn but i’ll link it when i do) about roger sometimes having one girl upstairs while another waited in the garage for them to be finished. I think it was about Rog in the mid-late 60s in Truro but whatever. Obviously he wasn’t anywhere near celibate and it’s likely was sleeping with people outside of his relationship(s). But one has to assume that as he got older those kinds of antics stopped happening, at least as frequently.

There is one potential story that I remember reading somewhere along the way about Roger cheating on Debbie while she was pregnant. But, take that with a grain of salt because I can’t find the article again and also I think it was from like The Sun or something equally as rubbish. The press was notoriously always printing mean shit about the boys and that might have been another thing they published to create scandal. Even so, if we assume it’s legit that is still only 1 story. Not to throw him under the bus but Brian is the one with multiple confirmed affairs, who literally wrote songs about it all. So why is Roger the one with sleazy reputation?

This is where my second and third points come in. There is a pervasive idea about what it means to be a rock star. The whole trashing hotel rooms, sleeping with groupies, passing out drunk every night thing. And I’m sure that Queen was like that to an extent. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that all of them got up to shit on the road. Between innuendo laden interviews and songs, videos and accounts of their parties, stories CT has put online, and other stories like the one of Roger bringing out lines of coke as dessert when he was having dinner with motley crue. They definitely embraced the rock and roll lifestyle. And I think with Roger’s personality being what it is, it’s easy to link him to those traditional rock star tropes and say it was all true all the time. I also think Roger has done nothing to counter those beliefs. He’s been open about how he wanted to be a rock star since the minute he picked up a guitar, he’s labelled himself as a great lay in magazines, he’s joked about girls pulling their tits out over dinner in interviews (though he said he didnt take her home), he’s written songs like One Night Stand and Dirty Mind and Airheads which explicitly mention his preference for women and alcohol. I think it’s fair to say he’s kind of encouraged that view of himself. Whether it was just a side effect of being part of such a well known band and having such a boisterous demeanour/personality, or whether it was intentional as a version of promotion i don’t know. maybe a mix of them? I mean I’m sure it didn’t hurt sales and stuff. it’s the whole guys want to be him, girls want to be with him thing, right? Maybe that’s just me being cynical though lmao.

Anyway, the fandom brain has taken all of that and compressed it into memes and jokes about rog being the band slut. Which i’m not complaining about, lord knows i’ve made the same jokes and reblogged the same posts and used those tropes in my fics. They’re funny and lend themselves to interesting fic concepts. Plus, i think roger is the sort of person who would probably laugh about most of it. But it’s an idea that keeps feeding into itself through fandom, perpetuating what is probably a misguided view of his personal life.

Again, I am sure he’s had his fair share of fun and I’m not trying to make out that he was always perfect or whatever, but I don’t think he’s been with as many women as the popular discourse would imply and I certainly don’t think he’s in the 4 digit numbers.

#i7558vjvug #please god dont let this start anything #im just here to write smut and have a good time

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Surveys #417-419

Been slacking on posting these, so here’s like three surveys over the past few days divided up. I just don’t feel like posting them individually. Beware, it’s a long post, haha.

Do you believe that animals don’t have souls? I lean towards the idea that they, at least more complex species with actual sentience, do in some way. It's hard to imagine like, a fly having a soul, but it's a nice thought. You could NEVER convince me some don't, though, like my late dog Teddy, Sara's old chameleon Jem, and I could go on and on. Have you ever not been able to swallow pills? No, I've always been able to. If you HAD to change your first name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn. Something you don't hear a lot, for sure. Something more memorable. What are your thoughts on orange soda? Orange cream soda is BOMB. Man, been so long since I've had that stuff... Are you good with children and/or animals? Don't mean to brag, but people say I'm like a magician with animals. No matter what it is, I bond with it. Children, not so much. I'm awkward around them. Who in your life makes you smile the most? My cat, ha ha. If you were cremated, where would you want your ashes to be placed? Hm. Maybe high up in the mountains or in the Kalahari Desert. Do you plan on going to your high school’s reunion? No. I'm pretty sure I'd shatter from memories just entering the building. Would you want revenge on someone if they killed someone special to you? Or would you find it in your heart to forgive? "Forgive" my ass. They'd better get what's coming to them, even if I've gotta be the person to deliver it. Is there someone you are dying to see? More than I think anyone could possibly know. But it's probably better if I never do. Could you picture yourself getting married and having kids? Married, yes. Having kids, no. I could only picture that in one phase of my life, but like I called it: a phase. I should never be a mother, nor do I want to be one to begin with, so yeah, no kids for me. Do you like to take walks? If my legs were actually worth a shit, yes, I would, if it's in a nature-filled area. What are you listening to at this moment in time? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White. Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No. Could you say something good about the last person you kissed? She's very resilient. Why are you single? Because 1.) I'm a very unappealing example of an adult, 2.) I'm not exactly very attractive, and 3.) I'm basically a hermit, so I don't meet people. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? Hypothetically, in almost any case, I wouldn't. My imaginary boyfriend can have female friends. But I'll admit if it was like, an ex-girlfriend or something and it was a seriously intense hug, I might. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yes, but I mean, who doesn't. Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room? You make this sound so scandalous lmao. Yes, plenty of times. I dated a dude and briefly lived with him for three and a half years. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Who was the last person that you cried in front of? I'm sure it was Mom. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? Yeah. Do you believe that the world will actually end? Humanity, oh yeah. The planet itself, given the infinite nature of the universe, also yes. At SOME point, even if it's zillions of years down the line, Earth is gonna get fucked by something. Are you socially awkward? I am the literal avatar of "socially awkward." Would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? Horror. Who is your favorite actor/actress? MARK IS A FUCKIN' ACTOR, Y'ALL. Are you satisfied with your gender? Yeah. Are you good at admitting your problems? HA! Yeah. ezpz Have you ever had a hangover? No, never been drunk to begin with. Do you know any strippers? No. How many times have you dyed your hair? I ain't counting. What is something that reminds you of your childhood? Dinosaurs. Do you think you eat healthy? I try to. I have my bad days, though. Are you sick quite often or hardly at all? My immune system is the fucking MVP. I am just about never, ever sick. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate, duh. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah, no biggie. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? Omg no, I woulda been mortified. Have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? Yeah, as a kid. Would you rather have a cat or a dog? I prefer cats. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Like... six times, I wanna say. What would you say is your favorite type of flower? Orchids, but I also love dahlias. I've actually noticed that I've really had a greater "thing" for flowers lately. Like don't get me wrong, I've always loved flowers very much, but I've just found myself more drawn to them than usual, especially when taking the daily hour ride to the TMS office. Do you watch Toddlers and Tiaras? FUCK no. That show disgusts and angers me so much. If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Yeah, no. Funny joke. I couldn't go anyway due to mental health issues and a suicidal history. Do you own an old vintage typewriter? We used to when I was little. I have no idea what happened to it, though?? Hell, maybe we still have it somewhere, but I doubt that. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ew, does ANYONE like the smell of fish??? Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? I got a few pages into The Fault in Our Stars, but stopped for no real reason. I didn't not like it or anything, I was just still in my "I don't read" episode. Are you a protective person? VERY. I'm a fucking guard dog over those I love most. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're cute. I especially think emperor penguins are very majestic. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite author. Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? Neither's. I think my maternal grandpa had blue eyes, though? I'm not sure at all, though. When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Not sure. Has there ever been a murder in your town? "A" murder? Thems is rookie numbers for my neck of the woods, fella. This place is known for crime, and that includes murder. When falling asleep, do you ever feel like you stopped breathing? Well, I have seriously severe sleep apnea, so... but the diagnosis came as a surprise to me, because I never DID think this. But sure enough, did a sleep study, and in just one hour's time, I stopped breathing like what, 30 times? What's the last thing that scared the hell out of you? Stupid drivers. Do you have any life-changing plans within the next 6 months? I guess getting a job could be pretty life-changing. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? I'm very, very scared. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? Hm, I dunno. Where does your grandma live? Both of mine are dead, but my paternal grandmother lived in Michigan, while my maternal one technically lived in Florida, but stayed in New York with her son's family a whole lot. I don't really know where she stayed more. Do you know how to read music? Not anymore. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone special? Not so much the song, but the band. Motionless In White is one of his all-time favorites, so I can't listen to them without thinking of Jason. Sucks because they've been becoming one of MY favorites, too, so I listen to them a lot. If the person who has hurt you the most, said they were in love with you, would you believe them? I'd tell him he was in a love with a person who no longer exists. It's impossible for him to be in love with me now when he doesn't know how much I've changed. If Facebook made you pay would you still use it? Ha, no. Have you ever been recorded on film without your permission? Not that I know of? Tell me about your last boyfriend? He's a wonderful person. He's been there for me without fail since we became friends in high school band, and he is SO fucking funny. He's always cared a lot about me, and I care a lot about him, just not in the same way he does me. He's like my big brother. Are your parents racist? My dad definitely is. What is your least favorite subject in school? Math and economics both sucked. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? Almost certain no. I'm pretty sure Dad didn't fight for custody at all, but it could've been something Mom just never told me. Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I NEVER could. Do you have any siblings you neglect? .-. As a kid, did you ever go to camp? I went to Vacation Bible School, if that counts. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah, until that big news story about a dirty needle pricking a child. Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? Not to my knowledge. I highly doubt it. What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? Cheese quesadilla with fiesta potatoes. Rarely a pair of those cinnamon ball thingies. Ever consider a sex change? Nah. Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? EW no. I hate the texture of whipped cream. What do you think of popcorn? Loooove. Have you ever dated any of your friends’ ex? No. Well, it's funny, Rachel (both Juan's and Jason's ex) and I are friends now, but definitely weren't at the time of us being together. Have you ever gone out with someone even though one of your friends liked that person first? If yes, did you feel bad? If no, were you tempted to? No. Would you rather be a rich musician, or a rich actor? Musician. What was the last charity you donated to? I don't recall. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? I've told the "my friends and I saved hundreds of tadpoles" story enough times, so for this question, I'll just talk about when I would go fishing with Dad as a kid. Back then, if I got bored of actually fishing, I would walk along the riverbank and try to catch tadpoles and minnows in my hands. It was soooo fun to Kid Brittany. Do you walk fast or slow? I walk pretty damn slow. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can't juggle, period. Do you like jalapenos? Yeah! Do you like kiwis? Yessss, I love kiwi! Does anyone in your family go deer or bird hunting? Who is it anyway? I don't know if she still does, but my little sister used to go deer hunting with a friend.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? Yeah, my pet snake's 40 gallon terrarium. What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? It's quite diverse, but I think I mostly have templates for specific character profiles. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No, I'm a good noodle. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Certainly! It's beautiful there. If you have a cat, does it ever “converse” with you? Oh, ABSOLUTELY. When I talk to him, he sure does try to answer me and it's the cutest thing, ha ha. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Yeah, that’s what I use. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Yeah, guess he changed his mind. Name one of your ex’s mother’s names? Virginia. Does your favorite song have a meaning? BIG TIME. Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one. .-. What is the worst thing a child has ever done to you while you were babysitting? When I was changing her diaper, she got up and ran around naked in the house. ;-; Do you own a nightgown? No. If you could get any pet right now, what would you get? i. want. my. tarantula. Have you ever actually been stuffed into a locker? No. That is just such a TV trope that I've never even heard of happening irl. Do you/did you decorate the inside of your locker at school with stuff? I only had a locker in middle school, and I believe I didn't. I didn't want one in HS. What’s the coolest thing you’ve made with Legos? I was never a Legos kid; I played with Lincoln Logs. Do you want to get pregnant right now? Fuck no, man. Or ever. Have you ever housed a friend for a long period of time because they had no place to live? No. If you have a favorite comedian, have they ever been in a movie? I don't have one, really. Are there any books you want to read? Besides the series I'm reading, I want to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but idk if I'll ever get to it, really. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? We don't have a close relationship, but I am nevertheless. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not really, it seems. First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? J, T, D, S. Do you like going to school sports games? No, I hated it. When Ash was a cheerleader, Mom made me go, and I was never happy about it. Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? An ex-boyfriend's, yeah. Did you get into your mom’s makeup when you were a kid? I don't think I did? Do you want anything pierced? Ugh, a lot of places. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t? I've never been accused of cheating. Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? No. I'm quite the opposite. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? Too many, really. What are you doing this summer? Nada. Do you still watch MTV? I never did. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? Yes. What’s the dress code for your job? Do you like it? I'm unemployed. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? ^, and this might sound stupid, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't. Especially tattoos. No job is stopping me from doing things that improve my self-esteem and body image, particularly when I LOATHE my body. If a little bit of art makes me feel better about myself? Nobody is stopping me. What are some trends you dislike that everyone seems to love? "Crocs. Whyyyy?" <<<< THIS. First people hated them, now they love them??? They're hideous as shit. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't really know. How often do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough for someone with skin as dry as mine. Do you donate your old stuff to Goodwill? If so, what was the last thing you donated? Yeah. Mom recently brought some old toys, I think? How weight conscious are you? You have no fucking idea. Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? I prefer going to a theater. I enjoy the experience. What’s the biggest personality trait turn-off for a potential partner? Probably being an explosive/volatile person. I can't with that. Would you ever go on a birth control pill? I already am to regulate my period and tame the cramps. And if I was sexually active, I absolutely would want to be on it. What's your favorite late night tv show? I don’t have one. At high school do or did you participate in Spirit Week? No. Do you have a favorite vocalist? Who? Queen's Freddie Mercury will probably always top the list. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I don't have a favorite photographer. Surprisingly. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? If it's with someone I'm in love with and am in the mood, sure. What is one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? I did NOT expect to reach 25 like... *gestures at self* this. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never handle euthanizing pets and watching the families' hearts break. How long have you lived in the house you live in? Not even a year. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? I'm definitely sadder. Especially today. Do you like Subway? I do. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever found a spider on your bed? Yes. It's the scariest shit when one skitters across your blanket, because like, you LEAST expect it to happen in the comfort of your own bed. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Not even remotely, if I'm being honest. I'm at a real low. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Years ago, when I was a vegetarian and went there for the veggie burger. How often do you cry? lol a lot Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Can you wire a plug? ... I don't even know what you mean by "wire a plug," so obviously no lmfao. Where were you when you got your first period? Well I think I actually *started* at school, but I noticed when I got home. Can you drive? I mean I'm capable, but I'm an incredibly anxious, overly passive, and just generally terrified driver. I'm so scared of when I finally get new glasses and therefore a new permit... but I have to get used to driving. Living where I do, public transportation is very, very limited, and I just can't have people driving me places the rest of my life. Exercise or healthy eating? I sadly hate exercising SO much. I'd rather eat healthy. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Yeah. Are you more attracted to men or women? This can actually vary with time, which I originally thought was weird but is apparently normal for some bisexual individuals. There are spans where I feel more sexual attraction to men, and then other times women. Has anyone ever called you rich? God no, I am so far from it. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. Are you considered a very sensitive person? I'm way too sensitive for my own good. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes, my dad. I regret that letter I sent him so, so much. I honestly don't know how he can treat me with so much love after the shit I said. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? I am... astonishingly behind on Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. I know, seriously incredible. I just don't watch TV, man. It's strange, I'm into the show, of course I am, I just... don't like sitting myself in front of a television and purely watching it. I'll catch up, though. Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? No. But it's not like people have a reason they grind their teeth... they just do. Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. I could, but I'm not going to. It'll just upset me. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but he is definitely not my friend. I can't stand his bigoted, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, racist ass. I don't know or care what his favorite food is. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab and Sinow play Resident Evil 5. People can say all they want about RE5, but I love it. Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Waffles, but only if they're still soft enough to not be considered crunchy. I prefer them because I can put peanut butter on them, and the grooves catch the syrup instead of just absorbing it all like pancakes. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I don't/can't drink diet sodas because the artificial sweetener gives me a KILLER headache. Are you craving anything right now? You guys have no idea how badly I want Taco Bell for whatever reason. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? The latter. What was your first pet’s name? So, there's three answers to this. I was born into the family while we had a collie named Trigger, but I have absolutely zero memory of her. She passed when I was too young. Our first family pet that I clearly remember was Chance, our rescued cat. My first *personal* pet was either a guinea pig named Squeak or Chinese water dragon named Shadow. I can't remember who came first. Who was your best friend in elementary? It changed with the years, but I can say the three biggies were Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Probably Coach Collie. He was so wise, kind, funny... He was all-around just wonderful and taught so many life lessons. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Always. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Waking up and doing my first sweep of the Internet before I get bored outta my fucking senses. Do you read any web comics? No.

Do you drink bottled water? Yeah, but like any water, it has to be COLD. Not room temperature. Not a tad chilly. I mean cooooold. When did you last use a straw? Earlier. I have a metal straw I use to drink water with because I drink faster through a straw, and with it being water, of course I want to try to drink as much as I can when I actually choose to drink water. Have you ever tackled someone to the ground? No. Do you know anyone who lies to make themselves look more interesting? My former best friend did that. She was an online friend, so it made it easy. I finally caught on and called her out on it, and then she just totally dipped. Do you like to sing? Not that much, honestly. Like sometimes I feel like it, sure, but not frequently. Are your parents in good health? No, not really. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No. I feel bad saying it, but I know I never could be. I could NOT clean another human being. It's one of the bajillion reasons I'm not having kids. Do you like to take naps during the day? "Like" isn't the right word. I just... need to. Most days, there is NO way I can make it 'til night without one. What movie was your favorite to see in the movie theater? Even though it was sincerely a sucky movie, I really enjoyed watching Silent Hill: Revelation because I saw the 3D version, plus the hype over my favorite franchise getting a new movie was just very exciting. Favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle character? I was never into that. Ever watched The Blair Witch Project? Yes, and I positively adore it. I genuinely think it's a genius horror movie, never showing, but telling through other methods. Have a favorite AC/DC song? Probably "You Shook Me All Night Long." Are you good at selling candy for those fundraiser things? Omg nooooo I HATED doing that shit, especially when some amount of sales were like, required for whatever bullshit reason. I hate hate hate advertising to people. My parents always bought them instead. Have you ever had a crush on someone too old for you? No. Well, besides James Hetfield, ha ha. What's your favorite Dr. Suess quote? I don't know enough quotes to have one. If you were to have wings, what would you want them to look like? Dark and dragon-esque with lots of rips and tears in them... but not enough to stop me from flying, ha ha. Have you ever broken up with someone to find you want them back later? No. Has anyone ever dared you to eat a chili pepper? Did you do it? No. Have you ever tried Thai food? No. Have you ever watched Avatar? The TV show, not the movie. I've seen I think one season with Sara so far? I actually quite enjoy it. What's your cellphone's signature for text? WOW this survey is ancient. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don't smoke it. Do you often take painkillers? I dunno about "often," but headaches to the point I take something aren't rare for me. Do you wish you were in a relationship? I mean yes, but I know it's for the better I'm not. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? I feel extremely guilty. I try not to think about it. Where have you lived for the most part of your life? Eastern NC. How old are you? 25. What are you listening to at the moment? Powerwolf came out with a new album, so I've been bingeing the shit out of some songs, ha ha. Right now it's "Blood For Blood." Do you watch WWE Raw? Ew, no. I have NEVER gotten the appeal of wrestling. Just like... why????? Do you dye your hair? Nowhere near regularly. :/ I haven't had it dyed in a very long time, and I hate it. I love colored hair. We just can't afford that expense on something so little. My hair does NOT take dye easily, so we have to have a professional do it, and that isn't exactly cheap. Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? No. Which of your parents will you see next? I live with my mother, so. Have you fallen asleep in school? Not in class, no. In college when I would be in the library between classes, though, I've dozed before. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, but not for physical issues. Do you make fun of obese people? You're talking to someone who is. So obviously no, and you're a piece of fucking shit if you do. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie. Have you ever tried to headbang? No. Even as a metalhead, I don't get it, man. You're asking for a headache. Do you own any Converse? What do you think of them? I have a few and like them. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I mean, I'm an admin on two sites, so I guess? Were your ancestors royalty? Yeah, I'm related to one of the Queen Victorias, I believe. I just know she had a thing for beheading people, ha ha. What do you like on your pasta/noodles? Sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.? Just tomato sauce and meatballs, really. Who is the most ungrateful person you know? What makes them this way? My fucking ex-best friend. You could never, ever give her enough and she just... blegh. She was so fucking ungrateful for everything people did for her. It was just never enough. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. I don't like Pepsi. Have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)? I've held snakes, rats, lizards, and a tarantula. Who did you last play truth or dare with? No clue. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Yeah, they've moved out. What was the most unique pet you’ve owned? I'd probably say my champagne ball python. A lot of people don't even know ball python morphs exist, so seeing her might surprise some people. Do you like Doritos? Yeah. When you buy clothes, do you always try them on first? No, but I need to learn how to... I just HATE doing it. Have you used bugspray recently? No. Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean? Yesssss. Have you ever tried to sew or knit anything? No. Has something ever happened to you that seemed like it was from a movie? Most of Jason's and my relationship felt like one. Hence why the breakup felt so sudden and just impossible. Do you find yourself to be a believer in love at first sight? Not even remotely. Is there something you want to do, that you swear you will, no matter what? Spread Teddy's ashes in Yellowstone. I promised him. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I am an adult, and it sucks. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? Any meat that was hunted. Have you ever owned a diary/journal with a lock and key? I don't believe so. When you were little, what movie did you watch over and over? Mostly Disney films, like The Lion King and Finding Nemo. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Do you know what you want for your dream house? Nope. I honestly don't really care about having a "dream" house to begin with. I just need one that's cozy to me and gets the job done. Have you ever seen the movie The Notebook? Many, many times. It's my favorite romance movie. Have you ever used the photo editing site “Picnik”? No, not to my memory. Has an animal ever taken a strong dislike to you? Our old dog Bentley didn't like me all that much, and I didn't like him, either. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? No. Do you have a lucky or special coin? No. Do you love ice cream cake more than normal cake? No. Do you check your email daily? No. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? Envy. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes, actually. For a while many years ago, my old laptop left subtle burn marks on my legs. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? My nephew's is next month. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I doooo. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Ha, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Maybe when I went to SeaWorld as a kid? Did you ever have one of those easy bake ovens as a kid? Yup. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure. What flavor cake do you like for your birthday? Red velvet. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Two people. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve met online? Sara. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? I was very afraid of dolls as a kid, so I obviously didn't have one. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I mean, I'm a wannabe photographer that sells my service. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Can you still fit into kid’s clothes? Hell no. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What do you make wishes on? I only ever do for the tradition of it on my birthday. I don't believe in the magic of wishes, though. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Are you bitter about anything? Probably always will be. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? Never had one. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? Yes. It was identified as a fracture, but a break and a fracture are technically like the same thing, so. At a skating rink, I fell and landed on my hand so the top of it nearly touched my arm, so my wrist got FUCKED. I will never, ever forget the severity of the pins and needles feeling and just the experience in general. It hurt so goddamn bad. Is this the best year of your life? Fuck no.

#in other words i don't feel like thinking up song lyrics for three surveys at once lmao #survey #surveys #random questions

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nthngbxtfanfics · 5 years ago

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Not her - Jooheon scenario

After the little argument between me an Jooheon, both of us concluded that we both didn’t reacted in a very good way and we agreed to act as if that argument never happened in the first place. Since then we both went back to our normal routines of life, him being a busy Idol and me being a normal student and part timer at a cafe. Despite Jooheon having a girlfriend, we both met as regularly as possible. Those meetings were alright like there’s no difference. Well I don’t like to lie and say that completely everything is just like before. The only difference is him and his phone.

His phone is laying constantly beside him, screen up. In the past his phone was either upside down, screen facing downwards or kept completely away. Mostly I don’t give a damn about how he lays his phone or where he puts it. My major problem with it is his girlfriend who is constantly asking him where he is, what he’s doing and with whom he is. She tells him to meet her whenever she finds out that I’m in his presence. Sure, if I’d be his girlfriend I’d also be mad when he’s around other women. But my second problem with her is the fact, that I really can’t stand her. At the beginning I really tried my best to get to know her. I know it’s important for my Honey that his Girlfriend and Best Friend would get along together. But this Woman told me right into my face that I should F**k off and leave her and him alone. She’s really rude towards me whenever we are alone. When the other members are around, she’ s acting extremely nice. But the worst thing about her, is that she talks bad about him, behind his back.

I went out with some of my friends from college, after our hunger was grabbing our attention, we decided to grab some food. I saw this woman with someone else, another men who was not her actual ‘boyfriend’. I wanted to sit far away from her, but one of my friends insisted to stay a little close, just to spy on her. I’m happy my friends know about the whole situation, or else I would’ve gone mad crazy if I woudn’t have told anyone in the first place. And then I heard Jooheons name thrown into the room. She made fun of him, like how naive he is and how his Aegyo makes him look completely stupid. I know his Aegyo can be annoying and cringey, but she talked about it as if it’s the worst and most disgusting thing in the world. She also claimed that she wanted a real man and not a big baby like him, she then continued and finished her rant with “It doesn’t matter anyway he’s an Idol, when our relationship becomes public. I can become an actress and can dump him right away. And we can be together afterwards. Until now, I can spend his money without worry.” Those words brought so much anger into my system, I was ready to jump on that stupid woman and punch her right across the face.

But my only option was, so I wouldn’t get a restriction order or go to jail, was to talk to Jooheon about it. I tried it and failed, he thought I was just jealous because he was spending more time with her and not me. I gave up after a while, excepting the fact he won’t believe me until he sees everything with his own eyes.

Now I’m here sitting with my personal psychologist Mr Yoo Kihyun. Who actually sided my side after he saw the true face of the snake. He understood my concerns and could relate perfectly.

“How was your meeting with Jooheon?” Kihyun made us both a cup of tea and sat down in front of me.

“The same procedure as always, me talking to a wall and him staring at his stupid phone grinning like a clown and leaving after 15 minutes.” I stated bluntly, not really looking in Kihyuns direction, rather into some random corner in the kitchen. Kihyun sipped on his tea humming in response.

“As bad as always.” cleared Kihyun.

“True, sadly we haven’t been meeting up that often anymore. I guess his snake wants more of him now.” my attention now on the hot tea.

“Jooheon has been on his phone throughout dance practice or left sneakily with the snake. The other members got really mad at him and nagged him about it. She visits us quit often and tries to flirt with the others, when Jooheon is not around.” Kihyun gave me daily updates about their schedules when the snake comes around.

A little gossip won’t hurt right?

“Are you talking about snake again?” The voice made itself clear, when Hoseok entered the Kitchen after his workout. He grabbed a bottle of cold water and his protein mix. Hoseok wasn’t a fan of Jooheons Girlfriend just like me and Kihyun. The other members weren’t on a good level with her either. All of them disliked her since they saw how she’s been playing and manipulating Jooheon. They acted as if they would like her, only for their rapper. Except for my honest ass, who couldn’t hold back her displeased attitude. When she bit I bit back. When she barks, I bark back. Simple.

And Jooheon is ~sorry but, he’s too stupid to see anything past his love-bubble.

“Who else?” Kihyun couldn’t hold back his sarcasm and took another sip of his tea.

“Have you told Y/N what happened at today's dance practice?” Hoseok sat down beside me, protein-shake in his hand shaking it.

“I was about to tell her when you walked in.”

“What happened today?” I questioned, my eyes switching between both men. Hoseok drank a bit of his shake.

“Well, she visited Jooheon and normally when you come over you bring food for all of us right? -” I nodded and Hoseok continued.

“She bought nothing, Jooheon whined like a baby, threw his aegyo over her and asked her why she didn’t bought something for us to eat. And stated that you always do that. She whined and said she didn’t had time to get something and rushed to him after work. Only to see him as fast as she could. Well that’s what she said. Jooheon became soft and forgave her. And was lovey-dovey with her until they left to have some ‘private-time’.”

“Ok she forgot food and what’s so bad about it? I forgot it sometimes too.” I clarified and stated that it’s not extremely bad when you forget to bring them something. These boys could get so needy when it’s about food, they should chill at some point. I know that they’re busy but others are busy too.

“When you forget it, you go and get us something without blinking twice. This woman actually, she whined that she’s too tired to go and get something and then claimed, she should take a break. She also said that she’s hungry and wants to eat. She requested from Jooheon, that he should go and get her something. Wanna know what he did?”

“He went didn’t he?” I continued.

“He did.“ I rolled my eyes as far into my head as I could. This boy is too naive and oblivious.

“Did he went alone?” I asked.

“No Changkyun went with him, against his will.” stated Kihyun.

“The worst thing was, that the moment Jooheon left the room. She started to cling onto Shownu-hyung again. Until he came back. Luckily, Hyung ignored her and kindly rejected her.” Hoseok wasn’t done with his gossip and continued.

I never saw Hoseok getting so worked up over a person. I mean he is one of the most sweetest person in the world. He’s a bunny after all. He would never talk bad about a person, only if they are the most toxic and disgusting people in the world, who deserve no respect. As he ranted, his voice got more stern and frustrated, it surprised me that he didn’t started to get louder.

“At least she didn’t cling onto you anymore.” Kihyun finished his cup of tea and made himself a new one.

“Do you think I’m not relieved myself? My biggest wish is, that she would leave us all alone. It’s so stressful with her.” Hoseok got more frustrated and drank more of his mix.

“Hoseok-oppa, please don’t work up yourself too much. She’s not worth it.” I laid my hand between Hoseoks shoulder blades and rubbed the spot underneath my palm. Trying to fix the tension in his back.

“Y/N-ah, when will you actually visit us at practice again? It’s been lonely without your visits.” Kihyun sat back down after making his cup of tea.

“I don’t know, I just wanna avoid meeting her. And I can’t read her mind and tell when she’s coming over. “ I kept my hand on Hoseoks back, letting it rest there for a while.

“Sad. Y/N-ssi, would you like to work out together, maybe tomorrow?” I looked at Hoseok after he stated his request.

“Sure, why not? Maybe I’m able to ease my mind from the stress that I have lately. I couldn’t bring up myself to work out.” out of reflex, I rubbed my palm against Hoseoks back again, looking straight into his eyes. They lightened up and his lips formed a smile.

“That’s great, Tomorrow? Changkyun wanted to join us anyway, should I ask him?” I nodded and let out a humming sound. Right then, Hosoek stood up to search for the Maknae.

“I’ll go ask him ok?” I nodded again, we both exchanged smiles before he left the kitchen and left me with Kihyun alone.

“We have to find a way to get rid of Jooheons Girlfriend, the longer they are together, the more Jooheon becomes a mindless slave. And maybe ends up in a scandal.” Kihyun was as concerned as me about Jooheon.

Kihyun and I spend the rest of the time talking about random things, not wasting any more braincells. By the time, Hosoek rejoined us in the kitchen. We talked and laughed together until it was time to make dinner.

Dinner was done fast and the rest of the boys except for Jooheon, went straight to eat, not questioning where he was. I sat together with them to enjoy the meal Kiyhun and I prepared. We all chatted a little, before we actually headed directly into the food. Shownu already stuffed his face, when the meal hit the table. We all were in our own world not noticing the missing male entering the dorm.

“Oh Dinner is done, come here Jagya ~ sit down. Hyung move a little so we can both sit down.” The moment I heard Jooheons voice, my head snapped right to his direction. Out of habit, I was about to offer him to sit next to me. But a stinging pain in my chest stopped me from it, after I saw a person I definitely was not ready to meet again.

“Jooheon, go get yourself and your guest a chair.” Kiyhun demanded that Jooheon should do something, since he came late for dinner.

“Hyung, that’s my guest, I should accompany her, why don’t you get a chair? Y/N-ah! Would you bring two chairs? Thank you!” Jooheon sat down taking two chairs that stood beside them. I said nothing and just did what I was told, if I’d opened my mouth, nothing good would come out. Yet I couldn’t hold back my unpleased expression, because of that I'm never going to play poker. I’m too easy to read. As I turned around to make my way to get the chairs. I heard someone standing up.

“Wait Y/N I’ll help you.” Shownu rounded the table and followed me.

“You don’t have to do that.” I assured him, but I was still thankful that I didn’t have to get the furniture by myself.

“Don’t worry Y/N, I just took this opportunity to get away from them. She got too close to my liking.” I could clearly hear the discomfort in his voice. Slightly becoming worried about the leader.

“I don’t know how to handle this situation, she always tries to come closer. Especially when I inform her to give me space or when I reject her approaches.” Another man frustrated by this woman. I sighed.

How I could I help you?

“I don’t know either, Jooheon is clearly too oblivious. It seems like he doesn’t want to see all the struggles you have with her.“ We reached the room and grabbed the two chairs.

“We have our fault too, we don’t tell him what we feel about his girlfriend. He seems too happy with her and we don’t want to ruin it. You know?” Shownu was right. No one could tell Jooheon that they disliked his girlfriend, they love him too much and they don’t want him to see him hurt. I actually came to my own conclusion to accept the situation, only for Jooheon.

Shownu and I returned to the others and sat down. Shownu actually stayed next to me, to avoid sitting next to Jooheons Girlfriend. The only inconvenience was that she sat right in front of us, across the table.

The dinner went pretty good, we were chatting a little, taking our time and enjoying the moment. In the corner of my eye I noticed that Jooheon kept whispering something into his Girlfriends ear. My eyes landed on her plate, it was empty. She wasn’t eating, Changkyun noticed my stare and talked for me.

“Hyejin-ssi, why aren’t you eating?”

“Oh I’m just not really hungry at the moment.”

Changkyuns eyebrows formed a frown and turned back to his plate and then at mine.

��Y/N-ssi here, eat some. Have you tried that Kimchi? My Mom made that for us.” The Maknae laid a small portion of Kimchi onto my plate, grabbed another dish and laid more on the same spot.

“Try these two together and your tastebuds will thank me.” I chuckled, I took my chopsticks into my hand and digged in until -

“I think you shouldn’t eat that, that looks too greasy and unappetizing”

That snake really got the nerve to criticize my babys creation !

I took a deep breath, letting it slide away. I forced a fake smile towards her.

“Thank you Changkyun!” I turned my face towards the man beside Minhyuk and shoved the combination into my mouth. Ignoring the disgusted face of the woman in front of me.

My eyes widened at the taste, a moan vibrating in my throat. My eyes laid on Changkyuns satisfied and bright smile.

“See? Where’s my praise?”

“My tastebuds are pleased!” I praised the Maknae, while chewing the content in my mouth, covered by my hand. Me and Changykun exchanged a fist-bump across the table.

“Y/N-ssi, try these too.” Shownu handed me another combination, I excepted it with a warm heart, thankful for their gestures. After finishing Changkyuns creation, I opened my mouth to let Shownu feed me. The bite too big, I had to throw back my head to let the piece slip into my mouth.

Another explosion of flavors, occurred on my tongue. This time a bit too hot, I breathed through my process of chewing. Letting cold air enter through my lips, to cool it off. All men were amused by my attempt of eating without spilling food out of the corner of my lips. When I had enough room in my mouth, to be able to talk, I opened my lips but shut them immediately after opening.

“Ew, don’t you have manners?” The womans face showed no mercy in holding back her emotions of disgust. I swallowed the rest in my mouth hard. Looking her dead in the eye. My heart was racing, I was mad, never did I build up a desire to spit into someones face. Shownu quickly noticed my anger and placed his hand over mine. I looked at him, speaking with my face.

Have you heard that?

He looked at me, daring not to say anything wrong, something I’ll regret later.

“Well excuse me miss, in future I’ll behave more decent and look after my table manners.” I flashed her yet another fake smile. When I got a weird look as response, I turned my attention to my plate, not feeling hungry anymore.

After we finished eating dinner, we stayed at the table talking about random stuff. I felt Shownu tugging a little on the hem of my shirt, asking for my attention. I gladly turned to him escaping the heated discussion between the Maknae line. His face getting closer to mine, avoiding to attract unwanted attention.

“I know you’re still mad but I need your help. I don’t know what to do” He looked sneakily down under the table, I leaned back to have a better view. She was brushing her feet against Shownus legs. My gaze landed on her, she looked innocent on the surface. But underneath that table, she’s a (enter swear word or anything that is insulting). She lifted her leg, her feet brushing against Shownus knees. She was reaching for his sensitive spot. I slapped her leg away, before she could reach higher than his knees. She snapped her head towards our direction, we avoided her gaze, looking in two completely different directions. I noticed Jooheons gaze, in the corner of my eyes. He saw my action, a confused frown plastered his face. His girlfriend reached to him, whispering something in his ear. His frown getting deeper, his eyes displeased by my sight.

I ignored him, turning my attention back to the conversation between the males next to me. Shownu leaned onto my back, his chin on my shoulder, trying to hear more of the conversation. I didn’t mind him, but someone else did. Shownu was too close for his liking, anger filled his chest, suddenly mad at me.

“How can people come up with those kind of things?” and after Minhyuks remark, our topic changed yet again from the new scarf Minhyuk bought his puppy, to Hoseoks new found Smoothie mix, to a comparison between my and Changkyuns butt. It then switched to one of Jooheons cats throwing up into Hyungwons sneaker. Here we are now talking about kinks.

“Hyung don’t you have some type of kink too? Don’t you have something that turns you on unintentionally? “ asked Changkyun to attack his older friend.

“I don’t think so.” Minhyuk laughed a bit irritated at the Maknae. I was too irritated by the sudden changes of topics, that my mind went completely blank. No input, no information, all gone after one stupid statement. At this point I couldn’t follow the conversation.

“Y/N-ssi. Tell us what turns you on. What body part makes you - ”

“Yah Maknae! Don’t ask Y/N something like that!” Jooheon snapped and told Changkyun to back off, clearly not amused by that topic. His ears turned red, his breathing heavy, he looks like as if he’s embarrassed or really uncomfortable as if someone asked him that question.

“Jooheon, don’t get so feisty now, it’s just for fun.” Hoseok tried to ease the tension, that has been building up because of Jooheons outburst.

“I don’t think that this is supposed to be fun. Look at her, she’s clearly uncomfortable because of that.” Jooheon pointed at me, the others followed his hand that pointed towards me. My eyes widened, I straighten myself, clearing my throat.

“Jooheon, it’s really no big deal though.-” my face relaxed after I processed the situation and kept calm.

“And it’s not like I can’t answer for myself. Yes I do have some kind of thing that turns me on. It’s a muscular back, really well structured and strong.” I finished and turned to the others away from Jooheon. I saw Changkyun smiling, he then turned to Minhyuk and slapped his arm.

“I thought you like thighs?” Jooheon responded to my answer a little confused, but still mad.

“That too Jooheon.” He grabbed my attention and I let out a chuckle after seeing his confused face. He clearly wasn’t himself tonight, he was too moody and has too many mood changes in a few hours.

“So I that means Hoseok-hyung would be a perfect match for you, right?” Hyungwon laughed a little after his suggestion followed by chuckles of five other men.

“No he wouldn’t, he’s too muscular for her.” Jooheon now joined the conversation and argued with his other members. While his girlfriend was clearly mad at the attention I was getting from all the men in this room.

“Oh sorry, I forgot. Kihyun is her partner in crime.”

“Stop that’s not what I meant.” Jooheon amused us all. He’s too easy too tease, an easy target for amazing reactions. I tried to keep my chuckle low, but unfortunately, Jooheon saw my amusement and glared at my figure.

“Don’t you wanna say something Y/N-ssi?” he asked me and I shook my head in response. We all kept making fun of Jooheon, like old times. Forgetting that one person at the table.

She was furious, mad and jealous. She hated the moment, our interactions. Especially one person, the person who could ruin all her plans, the person who she needs to destroy, to ruin. The person who is everything to Jooheon, the person he loves the most.

This person was me.

#monsta x #monsta x sceario #monsta x scenario #monsta x imagine #monsta x imagines #monsta x reactions #monsta x reaction #jooheon #lee jooheon #jooheon scenario #jooheon scenarios #shownu #wonho #minhyuk #kihyun #hyungwon #changkyun #monsta x scenarios

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strange-n-unbluusual · 5 years ago

Text

Pink! Ch. 5: The Stick Up

*Beetlejuice/Original Female Character. Adult situations. 18+ only.*

Summary: After six breather years away, Beetlejuice returns to find the house on the hill overrun by coeds. Lydia allows him to stay, but has rules. Things get more interesting when Beck, one of the housemates, reveals she can see him. Following a sordid affair, Beetlejuice finds himself lingering around Beck more and more. But will her affection last? And why does it seem to bother Lydia so much?

Chapter 1: The Setup

Chapter 2: The Buzzkill Date

Chapter 3: The Ex Lover

Chapter 4: The Late Date

DMs are always open for thoughts, feedback and suggestions. Ty. On AO3 as CopperContessa_13

Beetlejuice was in denial and Beck was stubborn.

He thought it would only be hours until she fell into his arms and confessed her love. It bruised his ego a bit when she didn't. She thought he’d get over it and fuck her mouth or something. Alas.

At least she got to finish some of her work at home now that Beetlejuice was holing himself up in the attic. Beck was pouring over a project one day when the sound of his laugh rumbled through her ceiling vent. She could hear Lydia’s voice, too, faintly. It sounded like she was telling him a joke.

Hm.

Beck paused to look at where the snowman outside her window used to be. In the week or two that had passed, it’d been reduced to nothing more than an icy pile under layers of new snow. She’d removed its scarf before it, too, got buried. Not because she wanted to keep it or anything, she told herself, it was just because she didn’t want it to ruin the house’s shingles.

She stared at the scarf, now neatly folded on her dresser. As soon as he stopped pouting, Beck convinced herself, she'd give it right back.

The sound of Beetlejuice and Lydia laughing reverberated through the vent again. Beck sighed audibly before going back to her work.

She truly did not miss him, but his absence was notable.

As the days passed, Beetlejuice became hungry for any kind of attention from Beck— positive or negative.

The housemates used to be just apathetic to her presence, but they started to despise her. Kendra got mad when she found her leftover containers in Beck’s trash can. Ash cried when they found their poetry journal had the word “shit” written on every page in Beck’s distinctive handwriting. That made Cici furious. Lillian was willing to ignore all the drama until the art project she had laid out on the floor was destroyed by someone stepping on it. The footprint suspiciously matched the tread on Beck’s boots.

Lydia didn’t want to intervene, but decided she had to do something before retaliation started.

When she entered the attic, Beetlejuice was laying across the sofa. At least, what remained of the sofa. In his plight to make the space more homey, he’d torn up the cushions and made something of a nest out of the fluff.

One hand propped his head up while the other was draped along the curve of his body. His tie was loose and a couple of shirt buttons were undone.

He started talking as the door creaked open, but quickly changed gears when he realized who it was.

“I knew you'd be ba-- Oh! It’s just you again. Hey, kid.”

“I really wish you’d stop doing that. She’s not going to come back until you stop.”

“Stop what, Lyds?” he said innocently. “I don’t have the faintest clue what you're talking about.”

“Don’t play dumb,” she drawled while crossing her arms. “I know you ate Ken’s food, mimicked Beck’s handwriting to ruin Ash’s poetry and stepped through Lillian’s art. You need to stop before they do something back.”

“Fine. Be that way,” he smirked while readjusting his shirt and tie. “And for the record, babes? Beck was the one that stepped through Lil’s canvas. That one is all on her.”

“There’s still consequences for the other things! I know you listen to her through the vent all the time. Don’t you hear her calling around asking about other lease options? Is it really going to be any better for you if she moves?!”

Beetlejuice turned to lay on his back. He kicked his feet up on the armrest and casually started picking at something under his fingernail.

“I could follow her if I wanted to. And whatever the housemates can retaliate with isn’t even half of what I can do. Trust me, Lyds. I could make things a lot worse for Beck.”

Lydia’s expression darkened. He looked back at her smugly, unaffected by her glare.

“Make them worse?” Lydia asked, stepping towards him threateningly. “What, are you going to kill her if she doesn’t give you what you want? Are you going to threaten her like you did my family?”

His not-beating heart dropped when she said those words.

“My own father wouldn’t speak to me for two whole months after I told him I let you come back. I told them that you’re different, but it’s not really a coincidence that they haven’t stopped by in the last eight months. Adam and Barbara were just as upset!” Lydia fumed.

Beetlejuice’s arrogant confidence disappeared completely. He sat up, purple starting to rise from the roots of his hair.

“This is how you repay me for all the grief I've gotten?” she continued. “By sleeping with my ex-girlfriend and then messing with the whole house because she won't commit to you?”

“I’ll stop antagonizing everyone, I promise,” Beetlejuice pleaded. “I’ve changed. You know I have, Lydia. It’s just that some habits are harder to shake than others.”

She stared at him for a long time before letting out a breath she seemed to be holding in.

“Okay. But I mean it, Beej. No more hurting people.”

He nodded, but mumbled something under his breath.

“Do you have something to say?” Lydia challenged.

“No, I don’t. It’s just…”

“What?”

“I-I don’t know why you’re defending Beck after… everything.”

“Why’s that?”

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Well, it's not like you love her or anything,” he said.

“Do you?” Lydia replied, slightly scandalized.

Sprigs of pink shot into his hair. He babbled while running a hand over his scalp in a subconscious gesture to hide it.

“Well, I don’t think I love her but—”

“Because what you’re doing to her is not love,” she interrupted.

His expression fell.

“I’m not sure if I’ve ever really loved someone romantically, Beej, but I know what it’s supposed to look like. Love is being kind to someone even when you’re mad at them. It’s about caring for them despite their flaws.”

He hesitated before responding.

“It’s not like I’ve had a bunch of good role models to show me how it’s done, Lydia,” he chuckled nervously while rubbing the back of his head.

“Hey,” she said, walking over to sit on the armrest closest to him.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Gross,” Beetlejuice snorted.

Lydia giggled. He leaned his head against her arm as she reassuringly stroked his hair. He didn’t say much to her for a minute, but she knew her words meant a lot from the bolts of lime green that popped up under her palm.

“You just have to be patient,” she said while flicking a dead bug off his shoulder. “I think she’ll come around. It might take until after winter break, but—”

“After winter break?! How long is that for?” Beetlejuice whined.

“I dunno. It starts in mid-December and goes on for a few weeks? So, early January?”

He groaned.

“I know it sucks, but you need to give her space. You need to stop sabotaging your relationships with people.”

“When have I ever sabotaged anything?!”

He shrank under the glare she shot him.

“Alright, alright. I get it. Stop looking at me like that.”

⁂

Beetlejuice didn’t think much of it when he heard someone ascending the attic steps early on a Saturday morning. The floorboards outside the attic door creaked like someone was waiting there. No one came in, though.

Weird that Lydia wouldn’t just walk in like always, he thought. Maybe she forgot something in her room and went back downstairs?

Seconds later, realization hit him like a bus.

“Beck!” he called.

Beetlejuice nearly fell over himself as he rushed to the door, anxious to let her in.

He was suddenly overwhelmed with want again. His nerve endings felt like they would burst at just the thought of holding her again. He couldn’t wait to hug her tightly and breathe in the sweet smell of her hair. He’d kiss her and caress her until she moaned his name three times.

Then, he’d plow her into the fucking floorboards— no! Wait! He’d make love to her.

Make. Love.

The epiphany came too late, though.

He flung the door open just in time to hear the lock on the front door click.

Beetlejuice wanted to chase after her, follow her home, even. But the memory of Lydia's words rang in his mind's ear. Beck needs to be the one to make the next move.

Sullen, he closed the door. Beetlejuice walked back to the nook by the attic window and sat down on its sun-faded cushion. If he craned his neck just right, he could see the driveway below. He watched her load the taxi with suitcases even though the sun’s reflection off her hot pink puffy jacket made him squint a little.

Before she entered the cab, Beck turned over her shoulder to look at the house one more time. Their eyes locked when she looked to the attic. Beetlejuice pressed his hand against the window. She gave him a small wave back before getting into the car.

He watched her ride drive away until it disappeared over the horizon.

“She’ll be back,” he assured himself out loud.

Curious to see how the house had changed (eager to go through Beck’s things...), Beetlejuice descended to the second floor. All was quiet aside from Lydia’s room. Slow jazz music lilted out of the crack in her doorway along with a soft beam of light.

Desperate to sneak past her unnoticed, he tiptoed gingerly over to Beck’s room and passed through the door like a ghost.

On the other side of the threshold, he paused a second before shucking off his shoes. Everything seemed the same aside from a few missing artifacts— her laptop, her sketchbooks, her art portfolio folder. A chuckle escaped from his lips when he noticed a familiar black and white striped scarf on her dresser. His hand grazed against the knit material before sliding down to grasp the drawer just below it.

He yanked it open and grabbed a handful of the disorganized panties inside. While shoving half the wad into his jacket’s inner pocket, Beetlejuice noticed he’d uncovered something. His eyes bulged.

In the middle of her underwear, unmistakably, was a dildo at least seven inches long. Just seeing it made Beetlejuice's lust more rabid, but he managed to close the drawer without messing with it. He’d spend the better part of the time she was away, he decided, thinking of the things he’d do to her with it.

With some of the panties still clenched in one hand, he dove onto her bed. The plush feeling of the down feather comforter had been sorely missed. The sun illuminated the room's white walls beautifully. The pillows were thick with her scent which turned his arousal into euphoria. Beetlejuice paused to take it all in before fumbling with his pants.

He sure missed watching her wake up next to him on days like this.

One hand pressed the panties and pillows against his nose and while the other got to work.

He didn’t hear the doorknob jiggle open. Thank goodness the pillow obscured most of him.

Lydia still screamed in surprise, though.

“What the fucking hell, Beetlejuice?!” she yelled from the other side of the now closed door.

He fell off the bed in his scramble to make himself decent. His head bent at an awkward angle from hitting Beck's side table.

“C’mon! Can you really blame me?!”

“Yes I can! Put everything away!”

“What am I supposed to do until she comes back?” he whined.

“I said put it away!!”

Begrudgingly, he adjusted himself, shoved the panties back in the drawer (save the ones in his jacket) and haphazardly threw the pillows back on the bed.

“You’re an animal,” Lydia said when he opened the door.

“I’ve been called far worse by far better,” Beetlejuice scoffed while popping his head back into place.

Lydia playfully punched his arm before motioning for him to follow her. When they got to her room, she sat down at her desk. Beetlejuice sat on her nearby bed. On her desk, he noticed a paper towel was laid out along with rubbing alcohol, neosporin, black ink and what looked like a needle taped to the back of a pencil. He didn't think much of it at first.

"Everyone else seems to be gone for the holiday, Lyds. Why are you still around?"

"To make sure Beck still has underwear in that drawer when she gets back."

"Is that it?"

"No," she drawled while placing her left forearm face up on the table. "I've told you how exhausting my half-brother can be. I love Ezra, don't get me wrong, but toddlers are a handful. I thought I'd give dad and Delia another night to get the house back in order. It doesn't matter to me, but she gets really embarrassed if things are messy."

Lydia dipped the needle in ink and positioned it over her arm.

“Hey! Don’t do that! You’ll hurt yourself!” Beetlejuice said, shoeing away the hand holding the tool.

“Relax. It’s called a stick and poke tattoo. Do you want one?”

“I usually keep my body mods au naturel, babes.”

“Sounds like something a pussy would say.”

“I’ll show you who’s a pussy!” he said while rolling up his sleeve.

“Okay,” she giggled. “Just let me touch up mine first. Besides, it’s a little too late to tell me I shouldn’t.”

When Beetlejuice looked at her upturned arm again, he noticed there was already a tattoo there. It was about the size of a half dollar coin and near her elbow. The dots already on her skin were arranged to look like a magnolia flower. Despite how faded it looked, he was transfixed by the skillful way the simple dots were arranged to mimic light and shadow.

Lydia didn’t wince as she pricked the ink-soaked needle against her skin.

“It’s not my best work, but it’s still one of my favorites,” she mumbled. “I don’t think everyone can say that about the tattoo they gave themself at 17.”

“Chuck must’ve lost his shit when he saw it.”

“Only for a little while. This kind of flower was mom’s favorite.”

Beetlejuice relaxed his posture a bit, transfixed by the way she worked. He liked watching the greying dots become vibrant black. Lydia tapped her foot to the beat of the slow, smooth music still playing from the turntable in the corner of the room.

It was nice that they could still have moments like these.

“Have you thought about what tattoo you want me to give you?”

“A crown.”

“Why?”

“It’s kind of a long story, but you know that movie about the labyrinths by Jimi Hendrix?”

Lydia froze. She calmly set down her tool and turned to look him dead in the eye.

“First of all, it’s Jim Henson. Second, I’m not letting you get a tattoo for Beck.”

“Why not?! I’m a grownup! I can make my own choices. I’m older than you!” he said indignantly.

Lydia rolled her eyes and pulled on the neckline of her shirt to reveal her shoulder.

“See that? A tiny green shamrock with the letter ‘L’ on the side. ‘L’ for Lydia, you may ask? Nope! ‘L’ for Laurel McCann,” she deadpanned. “Beej, I’m not even Irish and I have a shamrock tattoo. Moral of the story is don’t fall in love with the first person you sleep with in college.”

Heeding her advice, he thought about the question again. Beetlejuice propped his head up on one hand and tapped his chin thoughtfully. His eyes lit up.

“Oh! Okay. I got it. What about this: ‘my mom’s a bitch.’”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I want it on my forehead!”

“Absolutely not. Not your face or butt or anywhere else sensitive like that. I’ve seen enough of you today.”

Beetlejuice groaned dramatically and flopped back onto her bed. He laid there, trying his best to think of something else. It felt like an impossible task, though. All he could think about was Beck and also how Lydia’s comforter wasn’t as comfy as hers. After a some time had passed, Lydia lightly kicked his leg.

“Okay, I’m done. Beej, I have an idea for you. What about—”

“Nah, don’t tell me. I love surprises. Just stick it in me.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

He laughed and laid his right forearm out on the desk just like she had earlier.

“It’s going to sting a little bit,” she said while rubbing his wrist with an alcohol pad. “Do you want to try a little dot first before committing to the whole thing?”

“Nah, babes. I’m dead! Nothing hurts wh— Fucking hell!!”

She tried not to smirk at his reaction to the first pinprick.

“Are you really sure you want to go through with this?” Lydia asked.

Beetlejuice just grunted in affirmation.

She started to work on the middle of his wrist. For a demon, he had a surprisingly low pain threshold. Beetlejuice got used to the stabbing sensation, but the longer she worked, the more it felt like torture. Lydia let him take small breaks and told him he had to be careful about clenching his hand while she worked. He wanted to whine, but managed to power through.

“Done! You can look now,” Lydia said after what felt like a lifetime.

Beetlejuice smiled at the new artwork on his wrist. She had used negative space to make it look like the pale eyes of a black and white striped beetle were looking back up at him.

“Now we match!” Lydia said while showing off her own wrist. “I designed it myself.”

She’d clearly visited a studio to get her own done. However, for a freehanded stick and poke tattoo, his wasn’t half bad either.

“You did good, kid! Chuck and Diana didn’t send you to art school for nothing. But tell me, can yours do this?”

Lydia nearly fell out of her chair as the bug on Beetlejuice’s arm came to life. It scuttled around his wrist and ran part way up his arm before returning to its original place.

“Cool trick,” she said breathlessly.

He studied her face for a moment before asking his next question.

“Why did you want to get something like this in the first place? To immortalize your trauma?”

“No,” she said thoughtfully. “I got it to remind me that family will always be there for you when you need them most. It reminds me that, even though what we went through was hard, it made us stronger. We lived.”

Lydia clasped Beetlejuice’s shoulder and smiled at him.

“Maybe it’ll help you remember that, too.”

Beetlejuice smiled back, reaching up to squeeze her hand with his own. His smile drooped slightly as he considered what he was going to ask her next.

“Hey, Lydia?”

“Yeah?”

“I think it’s time I proved to everyone that I’ve changed,” Beetlejuice sighed. “Do you think you could help me figure out… how to do that?”

“Hell yeah, Beej.”

#Beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfiction #Beetlejuice Fandom #musicaljuice #beetlejuice musical #Drama #writing #fluff #original female character #adult Language #nsft #beetlejuice nsft

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rockingbrooklyn · 5 years ago

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The Kings of Paradise(KOP) Guys in Bed(NSFW)

So I finally decided to complete this one after weeks of putting it on hold.

Taki:

Probably the kinkiest of all the guys. Kink level- 16/10. Surpasses Yosuke.

His biggest kink is being called 'Sir', 'Mr. Kozaki' and 'Master'. He loves authority.

Loves spanking and choking down to the last T. RIP MC's ass and throat lmao. It can be said that he slightly is the BDSM-type.

Can be crazy passionate, lovey-dovey and horrendously kinky, all in one single session.

Biggest turn ons- MC taking charge, MC talking dirty. The first time MC took charge, he was so surprised he became a puppy for 10 whole minutes. And then a wolf for the rest of the night lol.

Prefers dominance. He wants to possess his MC in every sense of the word.

On his Birthday, MC gifted him a new tie and a bracelet along with a handmade greeting-card. He thought it was the best gift, until he entered their bedroom only to find a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, 6 different types of vibrators, 4 dildos, and a cock ring, along with MC herself, waiting in his favourite lingerie. Let's say that his love for MC rose (along with a few other things) 100×.

He's a goddam PRO at talking dirty. He frames the dirtiest phrases of all times. The things he says has MC blushing for days.

He moans only when the sensations become too much for him, otherwise, he's more of a grunter.

Hates anal. Nope. That hole ain't for fucking.

His favourite place to have sex is the Jacuzzi in his condo.

Often just uses his ring finger for pleasuring MC. Yup, don't imagine that.

His biggest fantasy of all times was taking MC on his desk; which he did as soon as they started dating.

There wasn't a single time in 10 long years when he didn't think of MC while jacking off. He literally had a mental bucket list of the nasty things he'd do to MC once they got together. NO MC, HE WASN'T AT ALL INNOCENT IN GRADE 11TH.

Isn't a risk-taker. He hates the thought of anyone seeing his MC in a vulnerable position. She is for his eyes only.

Had a fucking-spree with MC in his office cabin, 15 minutes before an important meeting. His Board of Directors did think he seemed a bit out-of-breath, flushed and unruly for the meeting, but let it go nonetheless. They had no clue.

Dating women for fun, and one-night-stands have never been his thing. He has always treasured MC and he has his own kinky ways to show her that.

It honestly isn't a surprise that they've done it in front of Sydney far too many times. She's scandalized by it. Poor Sydney. She deserves some peace and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones.

Yosuke:

Kink level-10/10. Definitely not as kinky as Taki; although he thinks he's the God. If only he knew.....

Biggest kinks- Blindfolds, hands-down. He also likes it when MC rides him.

Doesn't like choking, spanking or anything that involves a chance of hurting MC physically.

LOVES giving MC hickeys and ABSOLUTELY LOVES receiving them. He never tries to cover them up, and that frankly annoys Kiyohito because goddamit it's indecent.

He loves getting a rise out of Taki, and guilt tripping him by continually showing how sexed-up he and MC are. He wants to show Taki what he's missed out on.

Hates, absolutely hates the thought of MC's past with Taki, so he naturally tries very hard to keep MC happy and satisfied. Yup, our boy here is super-insecure. And super horny too.

Jacks off an unholy amount of times each day whenever MC is too tired or too busy.

He has a box of tissues at every possible place in his condo, where he might jack off. MC is always suspicious of this habit of his.

He makes dirty-talk sound like a goddamn poem, so graceful yet so fucking lewd, it makes MC weak in her knees.

His pace is anywhere between animalistic and passionate; that depends on their mood for the day.

His favourite place to make love is ANYWHERE frikkin. He wouldnt mind doing it on his huge TV-set or even his sound-system really, if that were feasible.

He and MC once got frisky in Kiyo's room. Both giggle a lot about it whenever they visit his condo, and he is significantly creeped out by that. Let's hope he never finds out what they did to his bedsheets.

He is the risk-taker of the group. Gets it on in places noone even imagined or dared. For example: inside Shun's closet. Never ever ever give your room-keys to this guy, for he WILL DEFINITELY misuse them.

His biggest turn on- creampie-ing MC. He's always used protection with his previous one night stands, and he continued the same with MC. But when he once missed out on it, and saw the mess he'd made, his obsession for creampies grew fast af. Now he can't go without them.

Kiyohito:

Surprisingly kinky, although his stoic face refuses to disclose that. Kink level- 7/10.

He isn't much experienced. The only girl he'd ever had was his horrible ex-girlfriend, and that ended before he had a chance to figure things out. He straight up did not know what his kink was; but when MC once accidentally called him Daddy during one of their fuck sessions, he LOST IT. It has been his all time favourite since then.

He isn't a BDSM fan, but a little spanking and choking never hurt.

Loves giving and receiving hickeys. Spends atleast 30 minutes every morning trying to conceal the visible ones on him because he doesn't want to let the others know what kind of barbarians they are.

His favourite position is Missionary, mainly because he hadn't tried out anything else before. But he and MC sure like to experiment a lot so he's much enlightened now lmao.

Was hesitant the first time MC initiated a blowjob, but seeing her swallow up his mess- that was the hottest thing he'd ever witnessed.

His pace is more on the passionate side, but even a slight bit of jealousy makes him rough and relentless.

His biggest turn on is MC herself. To him, she's perfection, and he will make sure to show her how much he appreciates her. He loves it when she dresses up sexily for him.

He was never a risk-taker, but once he had gotten MC to walk the ramp for a new Lingerie line, and seeing her look so freaking hot, got him riled up pretty quick. They thus had a frenzied makeout session in the dressing room at the back, where anybody could easily have caught them.

There was a time when they made out in the swimming pool at Pandora, at 3:15 am. To his utter horror, he remembered that the place had security cameras, so he spent the rest of the night trying to clear out their footage.

MC is none-the-wiser to the fact that Kiyo has kept the footage of their late night swimming-pool-rendez-vous in his laptop, and that's his all time favourite porn video. He makes sure she never finds that out though.

Shun:

Kinkier than Kiyo, but less than Yosuke and Taki. Kink level- 9/10.

He is thoroughly experienced, having been with several women before MC, so he knows what he's doing.

His biggest kink is watching MC pleasure herself. He had no clue she did that until he caught her on their couch, and since then, mutual masturbation has been their daily ritual. He also loves it when MC dresses up in sexy lingerie/gowns/dresses/hot pants/ practically everything lmao

He finds choking and spanking very unappealing. Rough sex is a different thing, but inflicting pain on MC is unacceptable to him.

His tongue has HEAVENLY capabilities. He makes sure to show MC his prowess every single time.

He and MC are very much into sexting, so he has an entire album dedicated to nudes, in his phone saved under the ironic title 'Holy Anecdotes'

He is not at all a risk taker, and restricts their sexual encounters to his condo. His favourite place is their bed, where MC can be comfortable.

On a very rare day, they were heavily making out on the couch at Pandora, and they caught Taki and Yosuke staring at them. The first thing that came out of Shun's mouth was "I knew Yosuke was into voyeurism, but you too Taki?" Noone had ever seen Taki flush that way, and he never left his room for the rest of the day. Shun's words make MC laugh till date. (Thank fuck it wasn't Kiyo)

Dirty talking is his hobby. He is constantly giving MC indecent sexual innuendos, which ofcourse goes unnoticed by everyone, but Yosuke. He only smirks in return.

He exudes sensuality every time they make love, and he always takes his sweet time to savour every bit of MC. Before anything else, he loves her and he makes sure she understands that.

Their lovemaking is intensely passionate and it often leaves both of them sore and whining.

On their first anniversary, MC slipped Viagra into his food, and I swear he lost every bit of control that was left. She will certainly never forget that day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link to Masterpost

#voltage games #kop #kings of paradise #kop taki #kop yosuke #kop shun #kop kiyohito #voltage smut #voltage fanfic #voltage otome #voltage inc #kop headcanon #taki kozaki #yosuke sagara #shun randoh #kiyohito shirakami #voltage headcanon

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madamslayyy · 6 years ago

Text

Random M’Baku HC’s:

A/N: This was the originally my first draft for my work “M’Baku Titty Fetish HC’s” but I started writing and it got waaaaaaay off topic and became trash but a couple people asked to see it way back when so and it’ll probably be deleted tomorrow anyway so why not.

Warnings: THIS WAS ORIGINALLY SCRAPED! It’s trash, convoluted, unedited, has major plot holes, and a shit ton of ocs for no reason. If you don’t like it I’m so sorry but i warned you. This is not the quality of work I would ever put out.

Taglists: @muse-of-mbaku @chaneajoyyy @wakanda4neva are theonly ones i’m tagging because the responded to my post (so sorry this is late, i know i said i’d drop it the other day)

-M’Baku has always been and always will be a faithful and dedicated TittyBoi™️.

- It’s true that the women of the Jabari tribe are naturally well endowed in most areas but it’s the swell of the bosom that has always drew M’Baku’s eye.

- Growing up with M’Baku as your best friend, he never saw you as a girl or a boy, just his best friend.

- Until you guys reached your teenage years. And M’Baku became a dog.

- By the age of 16, he had grown to a considerable 6’1, and was starting to fill out nicely, looking much older than his intended age, while at 16 you still had none of the curves you wanted and all the baby fat you didn’t. Your chest was still as flat as a board and if not for your longer hair and eyelashes, you could easily have been mistaken for a boy. Or at least you thought so.

- Needless to say, you looked like most average 16yo girls but you were still far from the realm of anything M’Baku considered desirable.

- He would chase any pair of globes in sight, going above and beyond for any girl with an ample chest.

- You tried to pretend you weren’t jealous. You were.

- You tried to pretend it didn’t make you insecure about your own flat chest. It did.

- The final nail in the coffin was when you were sitting in Weapons and Refinery 103 and M’Baku strolled in with even more swagger than usual (if that was even possible). He immediately went into detail to his boys about his ‘glorious’ night rutting with Anika, a curvy upperclassman that was any 16yo boy’s wet dream come to life.

- You’d heard M’Baku brag before and had mastered the art of tuning out his scandalous recollections when suddenly one of his friends, Riki, called out “What about your girlfriend over there?”

- Growing up, because you and M’Baku were so close people often thought you two were an item. You’d both shrug it off or simply tell them no. But this time was different because M’Baku was put on the spot.

- And M’Baku tended to go into defense mode when he was put on the spot.

- He let out a barking laugh with the other boys following suit. “Please! You think I’d go for her!?” He laughed and you felt utterly humiliated.

- “As if you could ever get me!!” You yelled back, causing the laughter to stop abruptly. You felt your cheeks heat up with even more embarrassment and you quickly stormed out the room.

- That was the last time you spoke to M’Baku.

- A year later, it was time for you to graduate from the Academy. You were chosen to give a speech at the ceremony. At first you didn’t quite understand why, you weren’t at the top of your class by marks nor were you even an extraordinary student in any particular area but upon asking your teacher why she’d selected you, she replied with “You have a lovely voice.”

- So that was that and you prepared yourself to read your specific lines of the same speech they gave every year at the ceremony. You didn’t know who would be reading the other half of the speech until the day of graduation came and you found none other than M’Baku waiting at the entrance hall to escort you in.

- Of course they’d choose him to be the other student speaker, he was the Cheiftain’s son.

- The two of you walked arm in arm together without saying a word. You gave your lines, he gave his. You sat down by his side, not really paying attention to the rest of the ceremony, your mind currently occupied by the enormous figure crowding you to your right. Had he always been this big?

- Even though in the year since you’d last spoke to him, you’d changed considerably, you found yourself feeling like the same inadequate girl as before when sitting next to him.

- “It’s a nice ceremony, eh?” M’Baku grumbled lowly next to you. You tried to pretend you hadn’t heard him.

- “Oh come now, you’re really not going to talk to me?” He chided again. You made a show of rolling your eyes and looking forward.

- “Stubborn as always,” he grinned. “I miss my best friend.”

- “Then you shouldn’t dog her out in front of your boys.” You huffed.

- “That’s why you haven’t spoken to me in so long? And here I thought I’d done something wrong.” M’Baku mused.

- “You did!” You said a little louder than intended. Not enough to interrupt the ceremony but enough to make M’Baku grab your thigh in caution. You jerked your leg out of his grasp.

- “Foolish musings of an incompetent child. Plus, I said that mostly for Riki’s benefit. The poor guys been after you since we were in Rudimentary, like that would ever happen.” M’Baku said with a cocky eye roll.

- “He what?” You’d never thought of him that way, or any way honestly. Your list of schoolyard crushes began and ended with M’Baku. After that devastating rejection, you hadn’t put your hopes into anyone really wanting you. Not even after your small ‘glo-up’.

- “He’s always had a thing for you. So have most of my friends, as if any of them even stood a chance. Believe it or not, you’re not ugly.” He said as if it was supposed to be some sort of compliment.

- “Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, tuning into the ceremony.

- The ceremony soon commenced and you found your way to your family, trying your hardest to push M’Baku and his pigheadedness to the back of your mind.

- However it was evident in the weeks that followed that M’Baku was not ready to be ignored.

- He was always around, finding ways to miraculously ‘bump’ into you. He was trying to establish himself as your best friend again and you weren’t having it. He couldn’t just saunter back into your life as if nothing ever happened.

- You were well on your way to give him an earful when you came across Rikki first.

- After much beating around the bush on his part, and you throwing out a exasperated “Look I really don’t have time for this right now.” Rikki finally asked you out.

- The “No” was on the tip of your tongue before you actually stopped to appraise Rikki. You had never really noticed Rikki outside of being one of M’Baku’s friends after you two got older and grew apart. He wasn’t the worst looking guy, but he was almost painfully plain. Not actually muscular, but not quite skinny either, no facial hair to speak of (quite uncommon for Jabari men), and taller than you but still no where near M’Bakus massive height.

- But he was the first boy to ever ask you out. Boys in the village never showed any interest in you period, a fact that you tried to not let eat at you but it did. You knew that you were far from the ugliest girl in town but Jabari boys would often break their necks over girls that majority would deem unattractive yet ignore you completely. So even though you didn’t see it, or understand, there was something about you guys found ugly or repulsive.

- But not Rikki. According to M’Baku, he’d always seen your beauty. So you hesitantly agreed to the date seeing no true harm in it.

- That date, however, never happened.

- Rikki came to you the next day apologizing that he’d suddenly lost interest and wanted to cancel the date. That hurt.

- So you decided to let it go and focus on yourself. You didn’t need a man to be happy, you were happy on your own.

- However an entire year went by. And you were still as lonely as before. You saw literally everyone around you together, in love, in relationships meanwhile a man would never look your way.

- Your self esteem really took the largest blow and you couldn’t deny you never felt more unlovable.

- So once you could pull yourself out of your own self pity, you decided to get proactive about your dating life. That included dressing more flirty and putting more effort into your appearance. Of course no one noticed but it gave you the confidence you needed.

- Then you moved on to commence phase two of your plan. Actually shooting your shot. You didn’t particularly have your eye on anyone but you figured you’d just go for a reasonably attractive guy just to get into the swing of this whole dating thing.

- So you finally got up the courage and asked out K’nu. He was single, handsome, tall, the standard Jabari man. And he said yes! You were so excited you could barely contain yourself, making sure to triple check your appearance before heading to the restaurant that following Saturday. You waited there fore 3 hours before it sunk in that you’d been stood up.

- Again it was disheartening but you wouldn’t give up just because he was a jerk. So you asked out Bhenalla. His response was a bit.... different.

- “Is this a joke? Are you trying to set me up?” He asked his eyes narrowed.

-“A joke? I’m not sure I-“

-“Look, I like having all of my bones intact and my face not broken so no I’ll pass.” He rolled his eyes and walked away. You didn’t understand what he was talking about but you couldn’t deny it hurt to be shut down like that.

- So needless to say you found yourself in a bar later that night, alone sipping on yet another drink. You’d had enough two drinks ago but that didn’t stop you from downing another.

-The tears were slowly leaking from your eyes and you’d quickly swipe them away. Your face was almost completely red and you couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or crying.

- “She’s had enough bartender,” A deep, graveling voice said beside you. You knew that voice anywhere. Everyone did.

- You looked to you right to see none other that Morkurra. He was a year ahead you and M’Baku but he often looked much older. It probably has something to do with the fact that he was so scary looking. He had a huge scar that ran down his left eye and eyebrow onto his cheek. The scarred eye, though it retained vision, was a light sky grey while the other was a normal brown. In addition to his full beard he also had long hair which he mostly kept back in a long ponytail so it wouldn’t get in his way. He was littered with smaller scars throughout his body and he was massive, carnal looking even. The fact that he had his canines sharpened to enhance his battle performance didn’t help.

- He was also a shoe in for the position of Commander for the Jabari Army, as soon as the current Commander stepped down which everyone was betting would be any day now.

- “Tell me little one, what’s got you balling your eyes out in a place like this?” He asked, gently taking your half full glass from you.

- “N-Nothing,” you hiccupped, causing your face to flush even more.

- “Surely it’s something if you’re this intoxicated and still upset.” He said handing you one of the napkins from the bar. You weren’t sure if it was all the alcohol in your system or his unexpected kindness but you burst into tears once again.

- “I was born hideous! Hanuman has cursed me with such a repulsive appearance that no man in the village will go near me!” You cried. There was a long pause before Morkurra burst into laughter.

- “Surely not even you can believe that tale. Is that truly what is causing you such sorrow?” He laughed even though you’d yet to find anything humorous.

- “If you knew the true loneliness I face, you wouldn’t find it so funny.” You grumbled, trying feverently to wipe your tears away.

- “Look at me. Don’t I look like a man that knows true loneliness? Almost everyone in town is afraid of me, and rightfully so given how I look. You, on the other hand, do not have that problem,” he said, bringing your drink to his full lips and finishing it.

- “You’re gorgeous and I’m not just saying that because you’re crying. Any man in the village would be honored to have you and probably would jump at the chance if not for that temperamental brat that’s due to be our next chief.” You were having a hard time concentrating on everything he was saying in your drunken state but it sounded like he was alluding to M’Baku.

“Our next Chief? You mean M’Baku? What’s he got to do with anything?” You asked causing Morkurra to let out his bark of a laugh once more.

“You really don’t know? The boys smitten with you. Let’s everyone know that you’re his girl and he dares anyone to challenge him.” Morkurra finished and this time it was your turn to laugh.

“Ridiculous, M’Baku is a friend, nothing more. He’s made that quite clear. Also he chases anything with breasts, at this point I’m not sure he’s even capable of loving one girl with all the numerous affairs he carries on.” You scowled.

“Well I’m not sure he sees it that way.” Morkurra downed the last of his drink then stood up. “Are you ready for me to take you home little one?”

“I -hiccup- don’t need supervision,” you said but you could already feel your head swimming.

“I don’t doubt that but I still can’t let you leave here alone. Allow me to at least see you to your door in one piece,” Morkurra offered his hand. He truly was scary looking but you sensed a sort of gentle demeanor about him. You figured it couldn’t be all that bad and allowed him to walk you home, even though it was mostly him carrying you along while you stumbled about.

- “So what time should I pick you up tomorrow?” Morkurra asked once you’d made it to your front door.

- “Pick me up tomorrow?”

- “For Lunch. You said you couldn’t get any man in the village to go near you but I’m not just any man. And I’m certainly not afraid of vague threats made by the likes of M’Baku.” Morkurra declared and you suddenly felt you face flush, though this time not from the alcohol.

- “I don’t know.... Lunch... time?” You offered, causing a smirk to grace his stoic features.

- “Lunch time it is. I look forward to seeing you in your sobriety, Little One.” He gave a small bow of his head and was off.

- The next day, you almost couldn’t believe your eyes when you found Morkurra at your door. You also couldn’t believe he’d still offered to take you on a date. A date that went surprisingly well. He was unbelievable gentle despite his appearance and you couldn’t deny you were quite taken with his soft personality.

- Which is what prompted you to accept his offer of a second date. And a third. And before you knew it, you found yourself slowly falling for the beast of a man. It wasn’t long before he was crowned Commanderq of the Jabari army, being crowned by none other than the Chief of the Jabari himself, M’Bakus father. You stood off to the side as you watched Chief M’Boka pin Morkurra’s gigantic frame. Once ceremony hit its conclusion Morkurra roared and the rest of the Jabari cheered for him. It was in that moment he saw fit to grab you from your post on the side and draw you in for a searing kiss.

- It was far from the first time you’d kissed Morkurra, however it was the first time you’d kissed him in front of nearly the entire Jabari tribe. M’Baku, who was still standing near his father looked incensed. Before anyone could stop him, he lunged for Morkurra. The only thing that allowed M’Baku even the slightest advantage was the fact that Morkurra was still holding you and he refused to let anything hurt you.

- However by the time M’Baku has pulled his fist back for a second punch, Morkurra had already pushed you aside and was able to land a hit of his own. With one swift punch to the face, M’Baku was out cold and the crowd looked nervous.

- Even though M’Baku was wrong, he was still the Cheiftans son and as hardheaded as they come. This wouldn’t be the last time him Morkurra fought, M’Baku would never settle for a defeat. He would keep coming after Morkurra until one of them lie dead.

- You knew you had no right to seek him out but that’s exactly what you did when you heard they were taking him to the Jabari medical center. You waited there for hours until he finally woke up.

- “Y/N? W-What are you doing here?” M’Baku croaked hoarsely after a few moments of silence. You weren’t sure how to phrase what you were about to say so you decided to just blurt it out.

- “Don’t make Morkurra kill you,” the confused look on M’Baku’s face prompted you to continue, “ look I know you have problems accepting defeat and are gonna keep coming after him until you win but we both know that won’t happen and my baby’s not a killer by choi-

- “YOUR WHAT?!” MBaku boomed. “You mean to tell me out of everyone in the village, you chose to allow THAT creature to steal your heart!?!”

- “HE was the only man in the village who interested!”

- “Except the one sitting right before you!” There was a elongated silence between you two, the air thick with the anger seeping from the two of you.

- “You really expect me to believe that crock of bullshit? Do you not remember when you and your friends laughed in my face at even the mere concept of you being with me? Because I sure do! You have the gall to say this to me now after you and everyone else ignored me for years!?”

- “And why do you think that is?! I wouldn’t let any man in the village go near you because you’re mine! Always have been!!” M’Baku stood now, his height allowing him to tower over you. This made no difference to you however. You didn’t care how large or intimidating he thought he was, you knew he’d never lay a finger on you.

- “Well congratulations M’Baku, you missed your chance!” You hissed through gritted teeth.

- “We’ll see about that,” M’Baku growler before pushing past you out the door of the medical wing.

•——•

also i’m gonna get together a Morkurra mini vision post for this because i was thinking of him being more attractive than not when writing this even if he was a little scary looking

#M'Baku #m'baku x reader #m'baku x you #m'baku imagine #m'baku headcanon #black panther #marvel #mcu

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yourmomswallet · 5 years ago

Text

Call Girl

I’m reuploading all my stuff. I haven’t written fanfiction in about 6 years, give or take, so Kiryu might be OOC. Not beta read. Here’s my AO3 in case you’d rather read there. Enjoy!

The afternoon sun was blocked out by the shadows of the many buildings of the block, leading wandering eyes to the flashing, marque like lights of Teltel Boys Club. Information on posters surrounded the entrance, listing the building’s phone number and prices. Kiryu walked up the street, determined to get in the telephone club as soon as possible. The pedestrians of Senryo Ave. strolled through past Kiryu, paying no attention to his presence in the seedy location. Triggering the automatic double doors and walking in, the clerk behind the counter greets him warmly.

“Welcome to Teltel Boys Club! Brighten up your day chatting with fun young ladies!” The clerk bows slightly and continues speaking. “We have several deals tailored to your needs!”

The charts behind the clerk are the same as the ones posted on the windows, with the longest course being 3 000 yen and the shortest 1 000 yen, simple chump change for what Kiryu makes.

“The longest course, please,” Kiryu politely orders whilst avoiding eye contact with the man. The clerk still has a friendly smile upon his face as Kiryu orders and tells him how much he owes. His rough hands pull out his wallet and slide the money on the counter, over to the clerk. As Kiryu slips the wallet back into his back pocket, the clerk places the money into the cash register and looks back up to him.

“I’ll show you to your booth. Fingers crossed you meet someone special!” cheers the clerk.

The two men walk into the cramped hallway to a door with a three on it. As they pass by the other booths, Kiryu can hear the many different voices, further fueling his nervousness. The clerk opens the door for Kiryu and wishes him luck. He thanks him and walks into the room. Closing the door, Kiryu takes a deep breath and pulls out the chair to sit down in the small booth. He looks around the wooden table, noticing the paper pad and pencil, as well as an ashtray and, surprisingly, a tissue box.

“... Let’s do this!” Kiryu tries to encourage himself whilst he focused his gaze on the now ringing telephone.

“The karaoke bar was a few blocks down! Where are you taking me?” you question Bianka as she drags you arm in arm down the street.

“Don’t sweat it, honey. Have I ever led you astray?” She rolls her eyes while you look back towards the bar. As you’re about to answer her rhetorical question, she interrupts it.

“Don’t answer that, alright? You know what I meant,” she defends herself, putting up her hand to your face.

Yabuta Bianka, or more known in the office as the busy body. As soon as she met you, you both became connected at the hip, despite not being in the same department. With your great listening skills and her big mouth, it was the perfect beginning for friendship. Walking what she describes as miles to reach your desk became a daily routine, delivering a small snack to share over the latest office scandal while there. It wasn't too long until the two of you were known as the inseparable office twosome.

The last thing you wanted to do was walk miles in your work clothes right after work to get to a mystery destination. Bianka always had her ways of entangling you into her little schemes. As you were guided down the street, your mind could only wonder what exactly she had in store for you. Over the last few weeks, she has been constantly asking about your romantic life. Too many times she had changed the subject to your love life for it to be surface level curiosity. You were always the hard working, quiet person in the workplace, making it difficult to bring about friendships even in your own department. Bianka became worried that your constant working hindered possible close relationships that could be made. In her mind, if you wouldn’t accept one of the employees as a future candidate for significant other, you would need to traverse outside the office. As the only friend she knew you had, she felt it was her obligation to help guide you to someone. And that was exactly what she had planned in the guise of going to the karaoke bar as you two had agreed upon.

You are led by friend into club, unwilling to enter. Your eyes widened as they land on a flashing sign, right above where Bianka had planned on taking you. A terekura.

“No! Absolutely not! You know how I feel about talking to strangers!”

Making a scene while being dragged into a place like a telephone club was not how you imagined your afternoon going. You protest that you both turn back to the bar, offering to even pay for whatever drinks she’d like just so you wouldn’t have to go through with her plan. Much to your demise, she was dead set upon making you meet someone. Bianka was strong enough to drag you towards the automatic doors and push you in. You despised her for dragging you to a terekura without your knowledge. You knew this visit wasn’t for her, considering how she always messaged her girlfriend when she wasn’t working.

“This will be good for you! Trust me! I know how much you’d like a sweetheart to sing karaoke with that isn’t me and go on cute dates with. I get it. I once was a loner, too.” Bianka offered a smile to the clerk behind the counter that welcomes you both.

“I would like the five-minute option, please! For her!” Bianka pulls you closely beside her as she reaches into her purse for her wallet.

“Don’t waste money on this terrible idea! Plus, where are you supposed to go? You have a girlfriend! What would she think if word traveled?” You stammer while she gives the money to the clerk. The older woman told you to follow her to a booth.

“Oh relax. I told Nanka about my plan. I’m going to wait in the lobby for you. And if you come out with no connections, I’ll just pay for another session. Have fun!” She was steadfast on making sure you would meet someone. She pushed you towards the direction the clerk was walking and you had no choice but to follow. The prospect of wasting Bianka’s money and the clerk’s time wasn’t appealing.

“This is your booth, miss. You have five minutes to make a connection. You can do this,” the older lady cheers you on. She must have assumed you were having trouble from what she overheard when you walked in. She begins to walk back to the desk.

“Th-thank you, ma’am.” You turned your head from the door back to Bianka, peering over the clerk to see her waving at you cheekily. Knowing her, by the time you left, the clerk would know everything about you and your love life.

Taking a deep breath, you finally shuffle into the booth and close the door.

You reluctantly sit down and mentally prep yourself, just wishing to just go home. Curse Bianka and her scheming. You knew you shouldn’t have agreed to go with her, even your horoscope warned you, even if it was the vaguest thing you read all day. What you wouldn’t do to just go to your apartment and treat yourself on this Friday afternoon. But you had to make this experience worth your time and Bianka’s money. You wouldn’t get another opportunity like this to make a friend.

Knowing Bianka only wanted the best for you, you dialed the first number you saw. You felt the beginnings of a stomach ache because of your nerves. Rubbing your fingers on your palm made you realize how clammy you were by just talking to someone over the phone. Your hand rubs against your leg to get rid of the moisture on it.

‘Relax. This is just like making a dental appointment, except it’s got nothing to do with your teeth.’ You try to calm yourself down while the other side is ringing. Suddenly, someone picks up.

Kiryu hesitates to interrupt the woman babbling on about her ex-boyfriend. Eventually, he puts the phone back on its receiver. He sighs and wonders if this idea wasn’t well thought out. The thought of anyone finding a real connection here is little to none. From what seems like desperate sex addicts trying to find a fix to somewhat unenthused, one-word responders, finding someone with an interest to have a conversation was quite difficult.

His watch told him his five minutes were almost up, meaning he would either have to pay for another session or leave without speaking to anyone worthwhile. He didn’t want to give up right then and there, though. This might be the last chance he’d get to meet someone before any serious future events occur.

‘I’m able to pick up one more call. Maybe I can try again-’

*RING RING*

His thoughts are interrupted by the phone. Surprised by the rings, he rips the phone off the receiver with such finesse and fervor it would give an onlooker whiplash. He answers, holding the phone to his ear.

“Moshi moshi?”

You find yourself unable to answer after hearing the deep voice greet you. A strong feeling of panic storms over your body, forcing your throat to close up and restrict words from being said. Your mouth opens and closes in an attempt to say something, only to be met with silence.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes! I-I mean yes. Yes, I’m here. Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” You lightly tap your cheek a few times. You wonder if he can sense your nervousness.

“Ah, don’t worry about it. This whole thing is new to me, too.”

“So, what are you here for, then? Love? A quick fuck?” You cringe at your bluntness, cursing your nerves for making you sound so harsh. He chuckles lightly.

“I’m not here for sex. I’m not sure what exactly I want, but I think I made the wrong decision coming here.” He sounded a bit discouraged.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, my friend forced me into this. She thinks I need a significant other, but I think I’m in an alright spot. I work an office job, I have friends, and I’m happy. I just don’t understand what she wants from me.” You realize you’re rambling too much in the small amount of time allowed.

“S-Sorry, I tend to, uh, ramble when I’m nervous. Please, what about you?”

“Well, since we’re on the subject of work, I work in real estate.”

“Oh, that must be quite exhausting. Having to appeal to people’s tastes and needs must be tiresome.”

“I guess so. I usually don’t get too much time off, so I have to spend it wisely.”

“I hope I’m not interfering in your sacred break. I feel the same. Work’s gotten awfully busy lately, what with the influx of orders coming in. Ah, I just can’t seem to catch a break.”

“Don’t worry. You’re not interfering at all. In fact, just from our short conversation, you sound like the perfect person I’d like to spend my free time with.”

You blush at his statement. You don’t think you sound all that interesting. Clearing your throat, you try to change the subject.

“How old are you?”

“20.”

“I’m 20 also. But you sound way more mature than what your voice leads me to believe.”

“I’ve been told I have a voice for acting, but I think they’re exaggerating.”

“Hmph, could’ve fooled me. Your voice is so deep and rich.” You lightly slap your hand over your mouth, surprised by your bluntness. HIs laugh reach your ears and make you blush even more.

“Thank you. You know, hearing you talk has calmed my nerves a bit. Despite my job, I always feel a little on edge when talking to new people.”

“It’s nice to hear that I’m doing something right during this conversation. I usually have trouble talking to strangers on the phone, but much less than talking to someone face to face. I’d much rather speak on the phone.”

“Oh, so you wouldn’t like to meet me in person?” You can hear his little smirk through the phone.

“Th-That’s… I mean, it… it doesn’t seem all that terrible to maybe meet you face to face. You know, what the hell? Why not? We’re not really strangers are we?”

“That’s good to hear. Where should we meet?”

“Umm… How about the theatre, maybe? And we, uh, take it from there?” You felt all the pressure being put upon you. What if he didn’t like the way you looked? This was happening too fast for you to understand. You felt a stomach ache coming on.

“Perfect. My name is Kiryu. I’ll be in a white suit and orange shirt.”

You tell him your name and that you’ll be wearing a blue jacket and pencil skirt, with a white blouse and heels.

“Seen you then. Bye.”

“Bye.” You put the phone back onto the receiver and let out a sigh while looking at it.

‘What did I get myself into?’ You rest your head in your hands and close your eyes.

As soon as you told Bianka about your success, she was ecstatic and all over you.

“What did I tell you? God, I’m a genius! My mind is... so powerful!” You both walked out the doors to travel to the theatre’s front while she bragged about being right.

“You don’t have to be so braggadocious about this. Anything could go wrong!”

“Okay, first, I don’t know what that means, so nice try.”

“Maybe your mind isn’t that powerful after all…” You’re cut off by her elbow meeting your shoulder.

“Ouch!” You rub your injury as she continues.

“Second! You need to be more positive about this. I can’t be with you the whole time to be your little angel on your shoulder or whatever.” She stops walking as you arrive at the theatre.

“I’ll be watching from over there,” she says, pointing to a bench in the shade.

Walking down the littered street, Kiryu stops at the theatre.

‘She might be here already.’ he thinks.

A brief scan of the area results in him seeing a blue ensemble and heels from across the street. He walks closer towards the woman before he sees another woman in a similar outfit sitting on a bench scanning him up and down. She then nods at the other woman.

‘Hm? Is this a prank or something?’

Despite his confusion, Kiryu cautiously walks closer to the lady as she stands still.

“Hi! You must be Kiryu-san!” You greet him as you spin around. He looks a bit startled by the surprise acknowledgment. You cringe at how loud you are. Curse your nerves.

“Yeah, that’s me. Y/N, right?” He raises one eyebrow slightly.

“Y-Yes, sorry for being. I’m a little out of my comfort zone.” Your hand finds its way to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear whilst you speak.

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m nervous, too,” he admits, thinking it might help you calm down. Whether or not his statement is true, it comforts you to think that he is as nervous as you.

“Not to be rude, but who was that sitting on that bench over there?” Kiryu points to the now empty bench. You turn your head and see Bianka has left.

“Oh! That was just my friend. You know how telekuras can be, full of creeps and all. N-Not that y-you’re a creep! I just need to be cautious is all, yeah?” You want to take your foot out of your mouth, but the words come out too quickly.

“Ha, don’t worry about it. I understand. I promise I’m not here to kidnap you. Other than maybe for a date.” He looks towards you expectantly. You want to jump in the nearby bushes to conceal your flushed face,

“I-I... “ The floor looked very interesting at that moment while you tried to come up with some type of comprehensible response. Damn him and his charisma.

“If you don’t want to, I can leave. I’m fine with what-”

“No! I-I mean yes! I… ugh. I do want to go on a date with you.” You surprise yourself that you can actually speak up before he finishes his statement.

“That’s great. Where would you like to go?” He stands patiently as he awaits your answer. Your hands find your purse strap and play with it as you try to think of a good place to go. He can clearly see how nervous you really are.

“Do you like karaoke? There’s a bar close by.”

“Yes! That’d be great. My friend tricked me into thinking we were going to a bar in the first place when really she wanted to set me up with someone.”

“Well, guess you could say we’re killing two birds with one phone call.” You give him a small smile and roll your eyes.

“Ha ha. Just lead the way, Kiryu-san.”

“Wow, Kiryu-san! I should have guessed a guy with your voice would have a great singing voice.” You ‘ooh’ed and ‘aah’ed at his performance after he took his seat back at the bar. He chuckles and takes a sip of his now watery booze.

“It’s nothing to make a big deal about. I just really like karaoke.” Swirling the liquid around, he stares at his glass as he tries to sound humble, but you know you have hit a sweet spot by complimenting his singing skills.

“Oh please, stop trying to be humble. You have the voice of an idol!” Your hand somehow landed on his forearm on the table. Looking up, he meets your eyes and you blush as you take your hand away as quickly as you placed it.

The two of you conversed for what seemed like a few minutes but was actually a few hours. And whether it was the alcohol or the sense of freedom gained around Kiryu, you somehow came up with your genius plan. You were just glad you had worn stockings to work.

Deft fingers work some of your blouse’s top buttons while you both continue chatting. You wiggle about in your seat, listening intently as he talks about some little car race he was in, all the while hiking your modest skirt up to a somewhat teasing length. As soon as the bartender turned to serve a customer, you started to edge your small purse off the bar. A thud sounds out as the purse falls, only heard by Kiryu and you as the current karaoke track drowns the sound out.

“Oh! I'm so sorry. I guess I’ve had too much to drink.” Giggling, you start to reach down for the purse. Kiryu watches you bend down, eyes following and lowering to your cleavage. He scolded himself for taking advantage of the situation.

Ever the chivalrous gentleman, Kiryu falls right into your trap.

“I’ve got it.”

You straighten back up, and as he bends down, you are careful not to hit him with your feet as you uncross your left leg from on top of your right when he comes back up with the purse. He pauses for the briefest moment to admire what you put on display just for him.

A black matching panty, stocking, and garter set. All for his eyes.

‘I’m going to die.’

Smirking, you slowly put your right leg over your left after you are sure he gets a good look. You look over your glass in time to see him turn his head away. He gets back up, purse in hand, and you hope you did something to make him break face. Looking at him, you drink in his masculine face, his gelled-up hair, his dark, soulful eyes… Damn him.

A blank, but strong face looks back at you.

‘Dammit, nothing.’ You mentally curse yourself out for thinking such a stupid plan would work. ‘Of course, someone as handsome and captivating as him wouldn’t want anything to do with- Wait! Is that? No. It can’t be.’

Red tinted ears.

‘Gotcha. Hmph, what a perv,’ you joke to yourself and take a sip.

“I should get you home. Before you’re unable to tell me where you live.” Money ends up on the table, enough to pay for both drinks. He stands up and holds out his hand for you to take.

“Wow, you really must want me to take you home, huh, Ladykiller-san!” you joke, loud enough for just him to hear. He groans at your new nickname for him as you laugh at his reaction.

Instead of holding his hand, you wrap your arms around his one and grab your purse. You both walk out of the bar into the now darkened city, illuminated by the artificial lights and sparse stars. Before Kiryu can lift his hand to hail the cab, you pull him down by the coat lapel, mouth centimeters away from his ear.

“By the way, I’m not drunk. And if you’re a good boy in the cab, I might let you get a peek at something else,” you offer in coquettish tone while your hand slithers up his chest to cup the back of his neck. He has no response, even as he hails and rushes you into the cab, other than his ears turning an adorable shade of pink.

As you tell the driver what your address is, your hand drifts towards Kiryu’s left leg. He takes his hand and puts it over yours, interlacing your fingers. While he busies himself with your hand, you begin to unbutton your blouse’s top buttons to reveal your lace bra. Treating yourself to lingerie that morning was a blessing in disguise. The lace edge danced across your cleavage, leaving the observer needy for more.

Kiryu’s eyes widen slightly as his gaze falls upon your breasts, your other hand landing on your entwined hands to make your arms press your breasts together even more. He drinks in how playful yet erotic you look in the passing colourful lights of the city. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of you, trying to keep this scene hidden away in his mind forever.

‘I’m in trouble.’

Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you can sense the want and need on his face, despite his efforts to not show anything. His eyes glaze over and his ears turn a bit pink. Desire falls upon the back seat of the cab, causing a tension between you and Kiryu. You decide to break it by reaching your hand towards his coat lapel. Not taking your eyes off him, you run your hand up and down one side of his chest. You close the gap between your faces, your lips almost touching his cheek as you move to his ear, hoping the cabbie pays no attention to what is going down in his car.

“Mmmmm, Ladykiller-san, are you flexing just for me?”

Interpreting the situation, he finally makes a move. By putting his hand on you inner right thigh, he receives a giggle from you and a teasing scold.

“What’d I say about being a good boy, Kiryu?” You start to draw circles on his chest, dangerously close to his nipple. You flash him a smirk as he doesn’t say a word, instead choosing to inch his hand up even more, fingers finally meeting the top of your stocking. He takes a risk by squeezing your thigh in his hand. Your little moan slips out as you trace your fingers on his shirt collar.

‘What a tacky print. But somehow, he makes it work.’

A hand gently strokes Kiryu’s neck and a thumb passes back and forth over his slightly stubbled jaw. Taking the hint, he leans down slowly as your hand that cups his jaw guides him towards you. He cannot help but grasp your upper thigh a bit harder as he awaits for what comes next. A pair of soft lips just millimetres away from his somewhat chapped ones, the distance starts to close. Eyes closed, you both prepare for what you have been waiting for.

“Hey, horndogs! This is my cab, not a love hotel. Get out!”

Embarrassed beyond belief, you let go of Kiryu in exchange for your purse. Fishing out some cash, you slip it through the slot of the glass as you utter an apology. The driver snatches the money from your hand and waves you off.

Kiryu had already gotten out, his hand awaiting yours to help you out. You close the door after climbing out of the seat. After his touches, your skirt had ridden up quite a bit, which you straightened out. Turning around, you see him staring at you with a small grin. You respond by lifting a brow and grinning back.

“Is there something on your mind?”

“Yeah, actually. You.”

“Oh, you’re such a lady killer! I might just fall over from swooning too hard!” You express yourself through a melodramatic hand press to your forehead. You giggle from your actions and see Kiryu still smiling at you, eyes filled with laughter.

“Stop that. I’m being serious. And I told you not to call me that.” His voice does not allude to him being serious about his complaint.

“Oh, I’m sorry. What would you rather be called?” You take a few steps closer to him and grab his coat with both hands for the nth time that night. You pull him down a bit to make sure your mouth is close enough to his ear. He can feel your warm breath on his earlobe, then your tongue.

“Good boy?” You bite down gently and give it an experimental tug. Hands snap to your lower back and hip, causing you to gasp. He pulls your hips close to his and buries his nose into your neck, groaning as your hands wrap around his toned torso. With how your bodies are connected, you feel every single part of him as well as how warm he is. You hum in enjoyment, reveling in the fact that you make him feel this way. A small smirk makes its way to your lips.

“How naughty, we’re still in public. How about we go to my apartment? I have even more to show you, Ladykiller-san.”

#yakuza 0 #yakuza #yakuza imagines #reader insert #reader #Kiryu Kazuma x reader #Kiryu Kazuma #long fic #ryu ga gotoku #not sfw

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imnotinclinedtomaturity · 6 years ago

Text

Love Yourself (Chapter 14)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 17k story words: 105.3k (so far) chapter: 14/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: can you believe i’m posting a 17k chapter? because i can’t. a massive thank you to @auroraphilealis for reading this mammoth of a chapter MULTIPLE TIMES for me and helping make it better.

also: before you send me an ask about using a read more, i did, they just don’t always work on mobile and there is nothing i can do about it :( take it up with tumblr lol

Dan didn’t entirely trust Isabella to not chase after him. The second Dan was out the door, he was desperate to put as much distance between himself and Isabella as possible. As much as he truly hated exercise, Dan practically sprinted away, paranoidly glancing over his shoulder every couple of feet to make sure that Isabella’s signature clack clack clack wasn’t trailing behind him.

Instead, he waited until he was five blocks away from Isabella’s building before he slowed to a fast paced walk and pulled out his phone. Dan was ready — he was ready to be fucking done with Isabella in his life, and he was ready to move fucking forward with Phil. When he opened his phone, he was determined to do just that.

Jesus, he had six missed calls from Adaline. For a moment, Dan had forgotten about Adaline’s emergency phone call. Just as he swiped away the notification, another call came through. Dan pressed the decline button — he’d call her back in just a minute.

He had something else to do first.

Riding the adrenaline high of finally, finally doing what he wanted to do, Dan opened twitter and — fuck. He’d left the app open on the picture of Isabella. Knowing that she’d fucked that model, that the mark on her neck was from another man, didn’t hurt as much as Dan had thought it would. It fucking sucked, of course.

After all, cheating was the one place where Dan drew a firm line of what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Honestly, he was more upset about the fact that he’d been cheated on, than about the fact that Isabella had been the one doing the cheating. He hated her, he hated her for a lot of reasons. He hated her for the way that she used him, for the way that she manipulated him, for the way that she cheated on him.

But above everything else, he was just glad to be done with her.

Replies were rolling in, most of them tagging both him and Isabella, and, weirdly enough, a few tagging Phil as well. Deciding his mission could wait a moment, Dan clicked on Isabella’s name, his finger hovering over the unfollow button.

If he clicked that, if he actually unfollowed Isabella, people would surely notice. People would undoubtedly piece together the scandalous picture with the fact that he’d unfollowed his bloody girlfriend and know.

Know that they’d broken up.

Dan didn’t give a fuck. He’d meant what he’d said to Isabella. He was done. The fallout of breaking up with Isabella didn’t phase him, fans could think whatever the hell they wanted to — most of it would probably be right, anyway. With a surge of defiance, Dan smashed the unfollow button.

That felt good.

But not good enough.

Fuck Isabella, fuck her being in his life and having even an inkling of control over him.

This time, he didn’t hesitate. He clicked the gear next to her name, pressing Block @IsabellaDeLaRenta before he could change his mind.

That felt really good.

At least now he wouldn’t have to see whatever bullshit she pulled and would be relatively sheltered from the inevitable drama.

But that wasn’t what he’d come on the app to do.

Dan tabbed over to his DMs. Phil’s name was right at the top of the list.

Dan could do this. He was on a roll of doing rash and brazen things tonight, he might as well fully commit. He’d been holding back from this, because it felt like a definite step across a line, a line that he wasn’t willing to cross. But now, the line was gone. He was free to do whatever the fuck he wanted.

He didn’t let himself overthink the message. It didn’t matter how it came out. It could be flirty or blunt or a little bit aggressive, it didn’t matter. So he wasn’t about to spend thirty minutes crafting it.

Daniel Howell: text me about drinks tomorrow 07712345678

Well, it probably could have stood to be a little less abrupt, but whatever. Dan’s point was made. Isabella was gone and there was no longer anything stopping him from texting Phil, from having Phil as an actual contact in his phone.

Okay, next thing.

Deciding it was time to call Adaline back, Dan switched back to the phone app, but quickly got distracted once again. The third person down on his missed calls list was Izzy D.L.R <3.

Fuck that. Dan tapped on her name, pulling up the contact page.

Should he edit the name, or just delete her entirely?

It seemed stupid to keep her number in his phone just for the sake of it potentially, someday being useful. What did Dan care? He couldn’t imagine a single situation that was worth the emotional weight of keeping her number in his phone. So instead of just deleting the heart, Dan scrolled all the way to the bottom and smashed the delete contact button, quickly accepting the annoying are you sure?

Yes. Dan was very, very sure.

Fuck, that felt heavenly. Having that last little bit of Isabella completely gone from his life — knowing that he didn’t have her number anymore, knowing that if he wanted to talk to her at all that he would have to unblock her on twitter… it all felt like this very definitive wall between them.

He liked that wall.

Okay, now Dan could focus on calling Adaline back. Dan tapped back to his call log, happy to see Isabella’s name gone, and clicked on Adaline’s name. The phone didn’t even make it through a full ring before a sharp voice answered.

“Daniel. James. Howell. I’ve been calling you nonstop for forty-five minutes,” Adaline greeted him sternly.

“I know, sorry, I couldn’t answer.”

“Wasn’t the whole point that you needed to answer so you had an escape? I was beginning to think you died.” Adaline sounded annoyed, but Dan could hear the concern laced in her voice as well.

“Chill out, Mum, I’m alive,” Dan joked, high off the fact that he was finished with Isabella. No amount of irritation from Adaline could phase him now — not while he was this happy.

“Fuck off,” Adaline grumbled, never pleased to be compared to their mother (even if she was one of the sweetest women alive). “What the hell was happening?”

“Well, see, I was out to dinner with Isabella originally. And then I ended up back at Isabella’s—” Dan just about gagged on the name, which, judging by Adaline’s giggle, didn’t escape her notice. “I didn’t want to, um, you know.” Dan coughed awkwardly.

“So you thought faking an emergency would be better than just saying no, like an adult?”

“Look, I didn’t want to dig myself into an even deeper a hole. I had these grand plans to take her to breakfast tomorrow and dump her, but I knew if I pissed her off too much tonight, she wouldn’t agree to see me before she went back off to wherever the fuck she’s planning to go tomorrow.”

And thank god that Dan had successfully broken up with her before she jetted off to Vancouver, or Switzerland, or Melbourne — or wherever the fuck she’d said. He wouldn’t have been able to bring himself to end things over the phone — or worse, text — and he couldn’t imagine suffering through that relationship for another second.

Adaline was quiet for a moment.

“What do you mean had plans? Please don’t tell me you changed your mind,” she begged.

“Er, well, sort of,” Dan stumbled, a little charigned.

“Are you fucking serious? Don’t make me get on a bus and come smack sense into you,” Adaline threatened. “God, I thought you’d finally figured out that you were dating a total bitch.”

“No!” Dan interrupted fiercely. “I mean — I did! She’s a bitch! I get it, loud and clear. Everything’s fine.” Dan did his best to console his sister. Everything was fine — it was more than fine at the moment, all things considered.

Dan stopped at a crosswalk, pushing the walk button repeatedly. He could feel his excitement, his energy, his complete exasperation with the entire situation itching beneath his skin. “I broke up with her tonight,” he continued. “That’s why I didn’t answer.”

“Wait, on Valentine’s Day?” Adaline screeched, utterly scandalized. “What the fuck, bro?”

Dan took a breath, ready to defend his actions, but Adaline cut him off.

“Look, I wanted you to break up with her as much as anyone else, obvi, but I thought you were determined to be the good guy or whatever. Which, you know, would mean waiting until it’s not the day of love?!”

“It’s a long story, and I don’t want to get into the details. But if you go on twitter, you’ll get the gist of it.”

“Okayyy, should I go look now or…?” Adaline trailed off. Dan could hear the faint do do do doooo of her computer starting up in the background.

He didn’t particularly want to deal with Adaline’s reaction to everything on twitter at this moment in time though.

“Later’s fine.” Dan rubbed his hand down his face. “I actually have a different favor to ask you.”

“Someone’s needy tonight.”

“Shut up, you act like I do nothing for you.” Dan pulled his coat tighter around his body — jesus it was cold tonight.

“Fair enough, what’s up?” Adaline asked more nonchalantly than Dan had anticipated, given the drama of the evening.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?” Dan asked tentatively as he stalled at another street corner, looking back and forth for cars before he carried onward, carried himself towards home, towards the comfort of his own bed.

“Um, I might have a date tomorrow night, but I don’t know.” Adaline sounded just uncertain enough of her plans for Dan to interject his own life into them.

“How attached are you to going on it?” he asked bluntly.

“Not. Why?”

Thank fuck, Dan thought. “Well, you know Phil, the one from —”

“Twitter and the coffee shop, yeah, I know Phil.”

“Oh. Right.” Dan felt himself blushing and was glad that it was dark and no one was around. Of course Addie knew about Phil, Dan talked about him constantly. “Well, I like him,” Dan blurted out. He held his breath, waiting for Adaline’s reaction. It wasn’t normal for him to have actual feelings for someone new so soon after a breakup. Having grown up in the same house as Dan, Adaline probably knew that better than anyone.

But her response didn’t come.

“I mean, like him like him,” he added when Adaline still didn’t say anything.

“No shit,” Addie shot back. “ Are you going to say anything new or…?”

“You knew?” Dan asked in surprise as he pulled open the door to his building. The warm air of the lobby felt heavenly against his cheeks, and Dan almost felt guilty for the wave of frigid cold he must have let in.

Almost. But right now, he was feeling too high off all of his decisions to feel too bad about anything.

“Dan, I’ve watched you date how many people? I’m not an idiot,” Adaline said, interrupting Dan’s thoughts. Dan jottled a little, trying to think back to what Adaline was talking about, and blushed when he realized.

“Oh,” he muttered dumbly. He gave a short two-fingered wave to the doorman as he power walked to the lift, eager to be in the comfortable safety of his own flat.

Dan was silent the entire lift ride, trying to process what it could mean if Adaline realized that Dan properly liked Phil. If Adaline knew all the way from Wokingham, had Phil caught on, too?

Although, Adaline had watched him cycle through relationship after relationship, fuckbuddy after fuckbuddy. She wasn’t that young while Dan was living at home, and he’d never been particularly subtle about it. Somewhere along the way, Adaline had developed a knack for picking up on when Dan was interested in, well, fucking someone.

Maybe there was hope that Dan’s interest wasn’t quite that obvious to Phil.

“So what about Phil, this boy you like like?” Adaline prompted teasingly when Dan was silent too long for her liking. Even though Dan had brought the subject up, he had no idea where to begin talking when it came to the topic of Phil.

Or, at least, he had no idea how to talk about it without just gushing.

“Hang on,” Dan murmured when the lift doors opened. He sat his phone down on the table so he had both hands free to shrug out of his coat, letting it fall somewhere in the foyer. There were more important things to deal with right now that being tidy.

Dan picked his phone back up, finally having decided what he needed to say first. “Well, objectively,” Dan explained, with just a hint of annoyance at his own conclusion shining through, “I know I need a bit of a break from dating before I just go for it with Phil.”

“I’m sorry, did I hear that right?”

“Before I date Phil, I know I should take a break from dating,” Dan repeated a little bit louder, in case the connection was weak.

“That’s what I thought you said.” Adaline sounded stunned.

“Yeah…”Dan tugged roughly at his tie on his way to the bedroom, trying to get out of this damn suit, this damn night as quickly as possible. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m being weird? You’re the one that’s being weird. I can’t believe that Dan Howell is going to take a break from dating?”

“Fuck off, it’s not that big of a deal,” he grumbled, his free hand trying to undo his belt.

“It’s a huge deal.” Adaline corrected. “I literally can’t remember a time when you weren’t at least sleeping with someone.”

So maybe she was right. Maybe Dan had never gone a full week after a breakup without sleeping with someone new. And maybe Dan had always made an effort to have someone in his life, whether it was a relationship or a… fuckbuddy.

Dan sighed, not able to be really annoyed since Adaline was technically right. “I know, okay. But that’s the thing. I don’t want Phil to be just sex and I’m afraid that if I try to date him right now I’ll fuck it up.” Adaline made a sympathetic sound. “It matters, okay? I want to do this right.”

“Okay, so how is all of this rolling around to needing a favor?” Dan could tell by the amusement in her tone he was already probably going to win.

“I kind of asked him to get drinks tomorrow. And it’s not, like, a date, I’m sure. I asked him before Izzy and I broke up. But now that I’m not with Isabella anymore, I’m not sure I trust drunk, horny me to not drag him back to my place and fuck him.” He put Adaline on speaker and set the phone on his dresser.

“Y-you’re fucking rid-ic-iculous,” Adaline managed to say through loud laughter. Her laughter was contagious, and Dan found himself unable to control his own giggles as he realized just how bloody absurd it was that he was asking his little sister — who he used to babysit all the time — to essentially babysit him.

“You’re not wrong.” Dan agreed, once he’d gotten his own laughter under control. “But — ugh this is so childish. I want a chaperone to make sure I don’t do anything dumb.”

“Get Louise to go with you.”

“I don’t actually trust her to stop me. I think she’s rooting too much for me and Phil that drunk-Louise would probably actually try to whore me out to him.” Dan glanced down at his hands as they unbuttoned his shirt and, for a split second, he imagined they were softer, paler hands.

Fuck. No he really couldn’t be trusted to be drinking around Phil alone.

“So you want me to trek all the way into the city, just to have drinks with you and your crush in order to stop you from doing anything stupid,” Adaline deadpanned, not bothering to hide just how ludicrous she thought Dan was being.

“Not just to have drinks. You can stay over, obviously, and we’ll do something on Saturday.”

“Hmmm, tempting.” Adaline considered it for a moment. “Wait, a second.” She sounded suspicious.

“What?” Dan asked warily.

“Last time I checked, you’d sworn that you weren’t going to introduce us to anyone that wasn’t serious.”

“One, I said I wasn’t bringing anyone who wasn’t serious home and I’m not bringing Phil home, and two, we aren’t dating — yet,” Dan retorted, throwing himself onto his bed with a content sigh. It felt so good to be back home, especially knowing that tomorrow, he’d wake up and not have to pretend to care about Isabella anymore.

“I see how it is, you’re playing the technicality card.” Adaline’s smug teasing was beginning to make Dan worried that she wouldn’t actually agree.

“Look, will you do it or not?” Dan snapped impatiently.

“A chance to watch you drunkenly embarrass yourself in front of someone you like? Obviously I’m coming.”

“I resent that,” Dan muttered, but Adaline kept talking over him.

“But you get to figure out what we’re telling Mum and Dad. And Phil, for that matter, because I assume you don’t want to tell him that you made your little sister travel an hour just to come babysit you.”

“You’re the best Adaline. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll book you a ticket and forward you the confirmation when I hang up.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you tomorrow you fucking idiot.”

You’re a fucking idiot, Dan thought back at her bitterly, because Adaline had already hung up.

*****************************

It was half past ten, and while Phil didn’t usually sleep until closer to three, he was already getting ready for bed. He figured if he was going to feel somewhat sorry and pathetic for himself, he might as well do it while wrapped up in his green and blue check duvet.

He’d never been the type to really buy into Valentine’s Day — normally he didn’t care if he was single or not on the holiday. But this year, the date had felt a little like a slap in the face.

Dan’s visit to Beans and Grind, had been lovely — for the most part. No matter what day it was, Phil would always savor any time he got with Dan, but he had been particularly grateful to get a few hours of Dan’s undivided attention today.

It was just that, well, it had left him wanting more.

To be fair, Phil knew that there was no amount of time that he could have with Dan that wouldn’t leave Phil wanting more. Looking back, Phil couldn’t identify when he’d gone from simply enjoying spending time with Dan to craving it and dreading its end.

Phil, could, however pick out the exact moment that he’d realized that his feelings for Dan were so much stronger than a normal crush.

It had been a cold day filled with snow flurries and gusts of wind. Phil honestly hadn’t expected Dan to come into the coffee shop — if Phil hadn’t have had to work, he certainly wouldn’t have left his flat. But just an hour into Phil’s shift, when the snow flurries had been at their heaviest, Dan had waltzed in, wearing a fluffy hat and an oversized coat. He’d brought his laptop with him, but he’d never got around to opening it. Instead, he’d ordered a hot chocolate, demanding that Phil drink one with him. It had taken a few sips of the hot beverage before Dan had finally felt warm enough to shed his massive coat, and when he had —

When Dan had taken off his coat, Phil had seen what Dan was wearing.

Phil’s jumper.

Out of all of the that clothes Dan owned, for some unfathomable reason, Dan had chosen to wear Phil’s pugs not drugs jumper — a jumper that was so unbelievably different from Dan’s normal aesthetic that Phil had originally worried Dan wouldn’t even wear it as an alternative to his own soaked shirt.

And yet there Dan was, wearing it for no apparent reason other than because he’d wanted to.

Dan had curled up on his chair, somehow, and gotten lost in conversation with Phil. He’d looked impossibly young and cuddly and comfortable, and Phil had known right then that not only did he want to see this version of Dan again, he wanted to see every version of Dan.

God, Phil was so fucked.

Valentine’s Day just sucked this year. The things that he had done — work, see Dan — hadn’t sucked, sure. But the whole day left a rotten taste in his mouth. Left him bitter about the fact that he’d gone and fallen for someone who wasn’t available.

Trying to minimize the agony of the day, Phil had completely avoided the internet all day, other than his brief DMs with Dan that morning. He just hadn’t been in the mood to deal with the constant love love love that was sure to be everywhere, and figured it was safest to hold off until tomorrow.

But at quarter to midnight, when his laptop had died and Phil was too lazy to go across the room to find the television remote, he gave into the temptation. How bad could it be?

The first thing he noticed when he opened up twitter was that he had a new DM from Dan that he’d somehow missed — he must have cleared the notification on accident. The second thing he noticed was that he had approximately a thousand mentions. Which wasn’t a crazy amount for him — not by a long shot. But usually, any significant amount of mentions was preceded by something from him, and he had been completely silent today.

Maybe some of his followers were just wishing him a Happy Valentine’s Day? In the past, his followers had started hashtags on his birthday or a holiday — maybe they had done that again?

The temptation of knowing what the hell was going on somehow overrided Phil’s perpetual desire to talk to Dan. Hesitantly, Phil clicked on his notifications, and scrolled through his mentions.

@AmazingKendra: @danielhowell i get that @IsabellaDeLaRenta is pretty but have you seen @AmazingPhil

@DanIsTheMan64: @danielhowell tbh your smile looked more genuine in that picture with @AmazingPhil last week

@DieDanellaDie: @danielhowell fuck #danella. i’m fucking disgusted with @IsabellaDeLaRenta and you can do better. i only ship #phan now @AmazingPhil

There had to be some kind of context to these tweets. Phil kept scanning, trying to find someone who included something more helpful in their messages. Finally, he found one that tagged someone other than him, Dan, or Isabella.

@iHowellForDan: @danielhowell did you see the @Tatler picture? Just move on already (preferably to @AmazingPhil)

Phil knew about Tatler. They were a gossip website that he’d been featured on one too many times to have any respect for, but he was desperate to figure out what the hell was going on.

Well, that seemed as good of a place to start as any.

Phil’s stomach was clenched in a tight knot as he clicked on @Tatler. He had no idea what to expect.

Fuck they tweeted a lot. How many people ran this account? It couldn’t possibly be just one. The gossip website was far too massive for its own good. Each tweet felt like a shot in the dark in the hopes that something would land them some hits.

It look a moment of scrolling to find anything that might be relevant and then — shit. That was it. That explained at least some part of what was going on.

There was a very risque picture of Isabella on a beach in some random dude’s arms. According to the magazine, the picture was taken just two days ago.

The nerves in Phil’s stomach turned to guilt. He’d been hoping, praying for Dan and Isabella to break up. But he’d never wanted it to be because of something as serious or cruel as Isabella cheating on Dan, and, well, that’s exactly what this picture looked like.

Wait, shit.

Dan.

Was Dan okay?

Phil couldn’t even begin to imagine how Dan might be feeling right now, if that picture had any truth to it, if Dan had seen it.

Phil abandoned his quest to figure out what the hell was going on in favor of opening the DM from Dan. If Dan was upset and had messaged Phil about everything that was happening — whatever that may be — Phil wanted to be there for him.

The message wasn’t Dan freaking out, though. In fact, it didn’t seem to have any connection to what was happening on twitter at all.

Daniel Howell: text me about drinks tomorrow 020 2436 8532

It was short and simple, but it made Phil’s heart soar. Actual Dan Howell’s phone number was sitting in Phil’s twitter inbox. He hadn’t even had to ask for it.

Part of Phil wanted to continue stalking twitter, to read through all of the available tweets to figure out what the hell was going on. But if Phil had learned anything through being in the public eye, it was that more often than not, whatever the public was assuming to be true on twitter was either wildly off base, or a gross oversimplification of things.

Besides, he’d rather hear about whatever was happening in Dan’s life from Dan himself. And now, Phil had a much more efficient way to get a hold of him.

Maybe it would come across as eager, perhaps even too desperate, since the message had only came in an hour and a half ago, but Phil didn’t care. He copy and pasted the number into a new text message, only to stare blankly at the screen.

What the fuck was he supposed to say?

Did he mention the shitshow that was happening on twitter? Did he ask about how Dan’s Valentine’s Day was? Should he ask if there was any truth to the picture of Isabella?

Phil opted to ignore all of the questions he had — at least for now — and send something more casual, allowing Dan to take charge of the conversation and say… whatever he wanted Phil to know.

Phil: This already seems like a more efficient method of communication than twitter -Phil

Even though Phil knew Dan was a night owl, he didn’t expect Dan to text back instantly. It was, of course, still Valentine’s Day, and just because Dan had a moment free on his phone earlier, didn’t mean he still did. Plus, even if Dan was home, he probably wasn’t attached to his phone like Phil was.

Boy, was Phil wrong.

It took less than a minute for Dan to reply. And reply. And reply.

Dan: hey there stranger

Dan: i agree. it’s too easy to miss messages on twitter

Dan: now i can just shout at you. much easier.

Phil chuckled. And to think that he had been worried about coming across as too eager. Meanwhile, Dan was sitting somewhere triple texting Phil.

Not that Phil was complaining.

No, Phil was sat in bed at midnight, staring down at his phone, smiling like a complete idiot because of a boy. How was it that Dan was able to make Phil this flustered, this happy from halfway across town?

He felt like a lovesick teenager — and was half tempted to call up his best friend to help him draft a text message like he was fifteen again.

That was ridiculous, Phil realized. He was twenty-goddamn-seven years old. He could message back a cute boy on his own for fucks sake.

He wasn’t sure what to say though. He started typing, trying to figure out the best response.

I know, twitter was a pain — delete.

How was tonight? — delete.

So you want to —

Phil’s third attempt to write a message was interrupted by another text from Dan.

Dan: you still up for drinks tomorrow?

That message wasn’t hard to respond to, at least. A smile snuck its way onto Phil’s face. He felt more like a teenager getting asked to a school dance than he cared to admit.

I am if you am

That made it sound like Phil was being dragged out to drinks with Dan — which was definitely not the case.

Delete.

Absolutely

That sounded a bit too eager, right?

Delete.

Phil tried again, and ended up settling on something that probably still counted as too eager in most people’s books, but, well, a lot of Phil’s actions so far could probably be considered as too eager.

Phil: Of course! What time are you free?

Dan: anytime after 7 works for me

Dan: one small thing though

Oh god, Phil’s heart dropped into his stomach.

A million possibilities rushed through Phil’s head. Had Isabella put her foot down about Dan spending time with Phil? Had Dan realized how flirty their relationship was and gotten uncomfortable? Was Dan going to want to bring Isabella along for drinks?

This was it, Dan was going to find some way to force a line between them. He was going to invite Isabella or remind Phil that he was a man in a committed relationship or tell Phil that he was one hundred percent straight.

Phil took a deep breath and forced himself to respond as naturally as he could.

Phil: What’s up?

The three typing dots seemed to flash in time with Phil’s far-too-fast heart. Dot, dot, dot, thump, thump, thump. What the fuck was Dan typing? Why was it taking so long? What did—

Dan: i just found out today that my sister is coming into london tomorrow. do you mind if she tags along?

His sister. It was just his sister.

Phil let out the breath he was holding, relief coursing through his body. Dan wasn’t trying to build some wall between them, Phil wasn’t being pushed away. Dan just wanted to bring his sister to drinks with them.

A sister that it took Isabella almost a year to meet, a self-satisfied piece of Phil’s mind added without his consent.

Phil: Sounds great! Where do you want to meet?

Dan: do you know harolds? it’s like a block over from b&g

Phil: Yeah! Emmalee and I have gone there a few times. Sounds good! Meet there at 7?

Dan: great xx

****************************

The next day went by far, far slower than Phil wanted it to. He was anxious to get through his meetings with the BBC and his manager, Marianne, so that he could finally get to the part of the day where he got to see Dan.

Dan, who a whole mass of people on twitter were speculating might be single now. Dan, who had given Phil his number right after a risque picture of his girlfriend had leaked. Dan, this boy that Phil was more than a little enamoured with and who might, just might, like Phil back.

And Phil wasn’t just getting to see Dan, he was getting to have drinks with Dan.

But the day seemed to absolutely drag on.

The day’s meetings at the BBC had been longer and more frustrating than normal. Overall, Phil was incredibly lucky. He was one of the first internet creators that the BBC had taken a risk on, and the success of his weekly radio show had not only opened the doors for dozens of other internet creators to work with the BBC, but had also allowed him to be granted a frankly ridiculous amount of creative freedom.

However, his shows producers had recently been pushing for Phil to do a special one-time show with a guest co-host — preferably someone with a strong musical background. They’d said it was to broaden the audience that listens to BBC Radio shows and, for some absurd reason, they’d thought Phil’s show would be the best place to start. They were really pleased with the younger demographic Phil’s show had reached, but were hoping to introduce new listeners — who were supposedly more interested in music than the internet — to his show.

Phil understood their point; the radio station was first and foremost about music, and his show (as well as several that had started after the success of Phil’s) focused much more heavily on other things. It made sense that they would want to have a special episode (or maybe even two, as they had hinted at) with someone who knew more about music than Phil did, someone that appealed to a different demographic. It would attract new listeners to the show who were interested in the special host — listeners who would potentially turn into more devoted listeners of BBC Radio.

The producers weren’t particularly picky about who Phil invited onto his show— in fact, they had thrown several big, exciting names at Phil. They seemed fairly confident that they could secure a one-time appearance from anyone performing in the Live Lounge in the upcoming weeks. The producers had also offered to reach out to people from other parts of the music industry, if Phil preferred. As he walked back to his apartment, his mind was still reeling at some of the names they had suggested.

And it was great. Phil knew he should be ecstatic about this kind of opportunity, flattered that the BBC had thought that his measly little radio show was the right place to start gaining a new demographic. But the fact of the matter was, Phil was too fucking awkward to have a co-host he barely knew — especially a famous one. When it came to interacting with people, Phil was a mess. At least when he did collabs, he was able to edit out all of his awkward social interactions. But live? Live, he would be forced to endure his viewers mocking his social ineptitude for weeks.

He just wasn’t very good at interacting with people he didn’t know, and he didn’t need the whole world to see that.

So Phil had tried his best to fight them, to lay out why that might be a horrific idea. At the end of the meeting, though, they had made him promise to think about it, and if he came up with anyone he would collaborate with — anyone at all — to email his producers as soon as possible, and they would try to set it up.

Unlikely, Phil scoffed. He was fairly certain that there was no way he was going to feel comfortable hosting some bigshot that he barely knew on his show.

Because of all of the conflict, Phil’s meetings took longer than he anticipated. By the time he got home, he barely had time to change and have a quick bite to eat before he had to head out the door to meet Dan.

************************

Phil, who always did his best to be on time, showed up to Harold’s at 6:58, knowing that there was absolutely no chance that Dan was there yet. If Phil had learned one thing while getting to know Dan, it was that Dan was basically incapable of being on time.

Surely, it had to annoy a lot of people in his life, but Phil found it to kind of be an endearing quality. The more he got to know Dan, the more he realized that Dan was always late because he had a tendency to get wholeheartedly wrapped up in whatever he was doing, which usually caused him to misjudge how long he needed to get ready, or how much time he needed to allot for travel. That was just how Dan was, Phil had discovered — an unbelievably passionate person.

So when Phil walked into Harold’s two minutes early, only to be greeted with, “Hey, Phil! Over here!” he understandably had a moment of panic. For a moment, Phil was convinced that a fan just happened to be in the same bar where Phil was about to have drinks with Dan Howell.

But then his eyes found the person shouting at him, landing on none other than Dan himself, who was seated with his back to the door. He was peeking out over the edge of a tall booth he was tucked into — a small, four-person booth in the back corner.The bar, with its dim lighting and slightly dodgy atmosphere, already lent itself to anonymity, but the far back booth, with the flickering light and high walls, practically screamed leave us alone.

It was exactly the booth Phil would have picked out, and not just because he was hoping to avoid the scrutiny of his viewers for the evening.

Fuck, Phil shouldn’t be thinking about that. He had no actual evidence that Dan was single — twitter was notorious for getting facts wrong. And even if Dan turned out to be single now, this wasn’t a date. When Dan had originally asked Phil to get drinks, he was literally on his way to a Valentine’s Day date with this girlfriend. Plus, Dan’s sister was getting drinks with them. If that didn’t scream this isn’t a date, Phil wasn’t sure what did.

But still, Phil felt a spark of happiness that he couldn’t quite squash when he thought about the fact that Dan had selected the most intimate booth in the bar.

Phil made his way over to Dan’s side, dodging around all of the empty tables. “You’re here,” he said in lieu of a proper greeting when he got to the booth.

“Yeah, you spoon. Of course I’m here.” Dan had a smirk on his face, but his eyes reflected genuine happiness. Whatever Tatler was insinuating about Isabella must not be true, not if Dan currently looked this happy. Phil tried not to feel too disappointed. Above everything else, Dan had become one of Phil’s best friends, and Phil shouldn’t be rooting for his heart to get broken.

“I just meant, you’re early,” Phil teased.

At the end of the booth, Dan’s coat was hanging on a hook — it was the one that Dan claimed made him look like a wraith, but Phil would argue just made him look kissable.

Phil pulled off his much brighter coat and hung it over top of Dan’s.

Assuming the second drink sat next to Dan belonged to Adaline, Phil started to move around to the other side of the table, prepared to sit across from Dan, but Dan caught him off guard when he grabbed onto Phil’s sleeve and pulled him into the booth next to him. The full, fruity looking drink was pushed towards him.

Dan nodded his head and raised his own drink in a quick cheers motion.

Phil wrapped his hands around the cold drink, pulling it in front of him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.” He tipped his drink towards Dan, mimicking the cheers, but way less smoothly. Unlike Dan, Phil nearly sloshed a bit of the drink out. Smooth.

Dan sent him an unimpressed look, but Phil could see the humor dancing in his eyes. “I’m capable of being early, Philip.”

“Really?” Phil cocked an eyebrow. “Because I’ve never seen it.”

“Shut up,” Dan swatted his arm, twisting around a bit in the booth so he could look at Phil properly. Dan’s leg came up to rest on the booth between them, his ankle tucking under his opposite knee so that his shin was pressing against Phil’s thigh. “You don’t know everything about me.”

“No, but I’d like to.”

Phil’s face flamed up, heat burning his cheeks when he realized what he’d just said. Shit, something about being around Dan made Phil confess all of his desires — even the ones he probably shouldn’t tell Dan about. The only salvation was the fact that Dan’s cheeks turned equally red, and his gaze suddenly dropped to his knee, which nudged Phil’s hip softly.

Phil thought he heard Dan mumble same under his breath, but he wasn’t sure. He was never sure of anything when it came to Dan.

Except for the minor detail that Phil was very, very sure he was head over heels for this boy.

“So,” Phil cleared his throat, trying to restore some sense of normality to their conversation. “I thought you said Adeline was joining us?”

“She is. Um,” Dan’s eyes flitted to his phone, which was resting face up on the table. “Her train was delayed, actually. That’s part of why I’m early. I realized she was going to be late like fifteen minutes ago and I figured you were probably on your way, so I just told her to drop her bag off at my place and come down and meet us.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t have minded waiting if you wanted to pick her up,” Phil insisted.

“No!” Dan almost shouted, before widening his eyes bashfully at Phil. “I — she’s a big girl. She’s capable of getting a cab from the train station to my flat and walking one block. It’s fine.”

Phil took another sip of his drink. “Okay, then. I’m excited to meet her, but I’m not heartbroken to get a little bit of time alone with you.”

Dan’s eyes widened, and for a moment Phil was worried that he’d said the wrong thing, that he’d finally found the imaginary line between them and leaped over it. But his worries were assuaged when Dan let out a tiny whine before collapsing forward, his forehead falling onto Phil’s shoulder. Trying his best not to disturb Dan, to not make him feel like he needed to move, Phil twisted his head a bit so he could look at Dan. From what Phil could see of his face, Dan was smiling bashfully, his dimples and red patch on full display.

This time, Phil was confident that he heard Dan mumble me either — he could feel the vibrations of Dan’s voice against his arm. Phil could get used to having Dan’s head on his shoulder, maybe even tucked in more securely, his breath wafting over Phil’s neck instead of his arm. Dan rested there for a moment, before leaning back up. The red spot on his cheek had subsided some, but the dimples were still prominent. Phil was glad for that, he hadn’t seen those dimples nearly enough lately.

“So, um,” Phil fumbled, still not quite composed after having Dan so close. “How late is Adaline?”

Dan sat up a hair straighter, as if the reminder of his sister had pulled him out of something. The way his leg was pushed against Phil’s, and how close his drink was to Phil’s, still left Dan very much in Phil’s personal space, though.

“She’ll be here within the half hour, she wasn’t delayed that much.” Dan took a long drink out of his glass, and the topic of his sister seemed to melt away. “So,” Dan poked Phil in the ribcage, “Tell me about your day.”

Shrugging, Phil took another sip of the fruity concoction. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he liked it a lot. Dan normally drank bitter things — who the heck drinks a triple espresso with only one sugar? — but Phil prefered his drinks sweet. He was glad that Dan hadn’t ordered him whatever dark liquid was in his own short, round glass.

“It wasn’t particularly exciting, I worked most of it.” Phil couldn’t keep the frustrated edge out of his voice. He wasn’t quite over how much he’d clashed with the show’s producers today — it was rare, so Phil didn’t feel particularly equipped to deal with creative differences.

Dan looked unconvinced, his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. “Your work is exciting though,” he pouted. “What did you do?”

“Not Fridays,” Phil grimaced. “I always have loads of meetings,” he explained. “I have my weekly radio show planning meetings with the BBC today, which was…” Phil rolled his eyes and took sip of the drink as he searched for the right word. “Stressful.”

Dan’s glass — and the fingers wrapped tightly around it — pushed against Phil’s arm as Dan’s other arm slid across the table, his head coming to rest in the palm of his hand, his eyes staring widely up at Phil. “Why’s that?”

“Just, you know,” Phil waved vaguely, “Pressure from the bosses about things.”

Dan groaned, straightening up a bit so that he could take a sip of his drink. “I know what you mean. What are they giving you pressure about?” His eyes narrowed, a smile threatening to break out on his mock-angry face. “Do I need to go kick someone’s ass?”

“No, no,” Phil laughed, blushing a bit at Dan’s overprotective attitude, even if he was joking. Phil busied himself with another drink while he figured out what he wanted to say to Dan. “It’s just, you know, publicity type stuff?” His voice ended like it was a question, and Phil lowkey hated himself for that. He had no reason to feel weird talking to Dan about fame-related things, which usually made him feel insufferably pretentious. But if there was anyone in Phil’s life who would truly get it, it was Dan.

Dan stared back at him with raised eyebrows — not disbelieving, just curious — prompting Phil to continue. “I have the radio show, right?”

“Yes, which I finally got the chance to listen to and it’s wonderful,” Dan interjected with a playful smile. “I think your voice was made for radio, it’s hot. Although, the fact that you livestream your face doesn’t hurt either.”

What in the fucking —

Phil took a large gulp of his drink, unsure of what the hell Dan was getting at. Sure, Dan was flirty sometimes, but he seemed far more forward than usual today. Phil glanced at Dan’s drink, which was nearly empty. Was it possible that Dan was tipsy already? Tipsy Dan had been flitier than usual, after all. But Phil didn’t remember Dan being a light-weight. Surely three quarters of a drink wouldn’t push Dan to the point it had taken three drinks to get him to last time, right?

Maybe Dan had drank something else sometime before Phil had arrived?

“I — uh, thanks,” Phil stuttered, very flustered, completely incapable of saying anything more intelligent.

“So what about it?” Dan prompted, knocking the knuckles of his fingers against Phil’s when Phil didn’t carry on with his story.

“We’re having a bit of a… creative difference,” Phil offered in way of explanation. He didn’t want to bore Dan with the details of his story. Dan looked interested now, but Phil wasn’t sure if Dan genuinely wanted to know every intricacy of Phil’s life (like the way Phil wanted to know the intricacies of Dan’s).

Dan shook his head, bringing the amber liquid to his lips for another swallow. “That’s the fucking worst. What happened?”

Apparently, Phil had underestimated Dan’s interest. The question didn’t sound insincere. It sounded like Dan actually wanted to know about Phil’s problem, that Dan actually wanted to support Phil.

“They’re pushing for me to do a special show with a guest host — preferably someone who knows more about music than me — so that they can, quote, draw in a new listener demographic or something.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Dan cocked his head. “So you’re against this idea…?”

“A little,” Phil confirmed with a shrug and another drink. “I don’t want to see disingenuine — and maybe more importantly, I don’t want to make an ass of out myself on live air by being awkward because I barely know my co-host.”

Dan hummed as he drank the last swallow of his drink. “Would you feel differently if it was someone you knew?” he contemplated.

“I guess,” Phil shrugged. “It would at least feel less fake, and I’d probably feel less uncomfortable.”

Dan waved his hand in a gesture that seemed to say so what? “What’s the hold up, then?”

“I’m a vloggy youtuber, it’s not like I really have any work connections I can try to force into collabing on me with this.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Dan looked at Phil blankly, a slightly annoyed tint to his eye.

“What?” Phil asked, confused, after a few beats.

In explanation, Dan circled his hand around his face wildly, looking at Phil like he was an idiot.

“You’re going to have to be more explicit, Daniel.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Gee, if only one of your non-work friends just happened to be in the music industry,” he said, resting his chin primly in the palm of his hand.

It took Phil a second, but he finally caught on. “Oh — oohhh! Would you — like — do you think you’d want to —”

Dan stared back with raised eyebrows and an expecting expression. “Yeah, dumbshit,” he said, finally. “I mean, I highly doubt that radio is my undiscovered talent, but I’d try it for you.”

“You’d — for me —?” Phil stuttered ineloquently.

“Of course, you spoon. I’d love first row tickets to AmazingPhil, even if that means embarrassing myself on live radio.”

“I’d feel bad,” Phil waffled. “It’s a huge professional favor, and I’d want to give something back. I’m absolutely rubbish at all things music, though, so it’s not like I could repay you at all.”

“Trust me, Phil, you do plenty for me. Both personally and professionally. If anything, I owe you a favor.”

Phil blinked blankly at Dan. What the fuck does that mean? Phil wracked his brain, trying to think of a single time where anything he had done had even remotely helped Dan professionally.

Phil was so concentrated on trying to figure out what Dan was implying that he almost forgot to respond.

“Um, if you’re serious,” Phil spun his glass awkwardly in his hands, “I’ll speak to them. They seemed pretty open about who I had on the show.”

With the hand that wasn’t cupped around his short glass, Dan reached up and ruffled Phil’s hair. “Of course I’m serious, anything to help you silly goose. Talk to them, and let me know what they say.”

“Thanks, Dan!” Phil smiled back, suddenly far more excited about the prospect of a guest-host than he had been that morning. “So how was your day?” Phil asked.

“Uneventful,” Dan shrugged. “I slept in, which felt great, and then I was surprisingly social for a bit, before managing to work some this afternoon.

The conversation that Phil had overheard between Dan and Louise had made it sound like Dan had big breakfast plans — plans that were big enough to require some sort of debriefing with Louise. But if Dan slept in before socializing, did that mean breakfast — whatever that was supposed to be — didn’t happen?

“I feel like I’m actually making progress on this album.” Dan continued, obvious to Phil’s confusion. He was smiling, though,, and Phil could see the passion building as he started talking about his music. “When Louise set a deadline of half the album before Germany, I thought she was insane. But at this rate, I think I’ll be okay.”

Phil managed to control his surprise at Dan’s lack of mentioning anything more exciting, but only just. Was work only thing Dan had done today — or was that all that he was willing to share with Phil? Phil wasn’t sure if Dan’s dramatic sounding breakfast plans potentially falling through was a good thing or not.

Phil sighed, trying to shake off his confused thoughts, and turned to his drink again, quickly finishing it. When he’d regained his composure, he turned back to Dan, “So you actually went outside and socialized today?”

“Meh, nothing big,” Dan said indifferently — he certainly didn’t make it sound like whatever social activity he’d done was noteworthy enough to mention. “I knew we were meeting for drinks and Adaline was coming, so I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to hole up in my house and work.”

There was no way Phil could continue pushing about Dan’s morning — not after Dan had turned the subject to work a second time. At least not without it being painfully obvious that Phil was fishing for details. He took Dan’s lead and switched topics to Dan’s music, genuinely curious about how his work was going.

“Were you writing again today?” Phil asked, trying to show that he was just as interested in Dan’s work as Dan was in his.

“Yeah, the song I was working on the other night, you know, the one from skype? I think it’s coming together. Up until today I just had snippets of lyrics but I’m pretty sure I made it into something coherent, something that flows and actually matches the melody.”

“That’s awesome, Dan!” Phil beamed, proud of Dan’s accomplishment. “How are you feeling about the album so far?”

“Amazing, actually.” Dan’s fingers tapped excitedly against his empty glass. “It’s not what I set out to do, but I’m somehow actually writing a concept album.”

“Wow! What’s the concept?” Phil blurted out before he realized that Dan might not want to — or might not be able to answer that. “Or is that top secret?” he added, giving Dan an easy way out of the question.

“It not top secret, per say,” Dan started before his attention suddenly snapped away from Phil, turning towards his phone. Confused, Phil’s eyebrows shot up, his gaze following Dan’s.

Adaline: did I miss you and loverboy at home bc i’m here and i don’t see you

If Adaline was here, and she knew she was meeting Dan and Phil — which presumably she did — loverboy had to refer to Phil… right? The rational part of Phil’s brain tried, really tried, to keep his hopes in check, to not think too wishfully, but the part of Phil that was completely infatuated with Dan was positively screaming.

With a message like that staring Phil in the face, it was almost impossible not to get his hopes up.

Quickly, Phil averted his gaze. He may not know what that message meant, but he did know that he was definitely not meant to see it. Fortunately for him, Dan was too preoccupied by the text and popping his head over the back of their booth, peeking back towards the door, to realize that Phil had seen it.

Phil ducked around their booth as well, looking towards the entrance and trying to who Dan was looking for. A younger girl was standing near the entrance, her eyes scanning through the crowd.

Dan’s knee nudged insistently against Phil a few times. “Budge over and let me out, will you?” Dan asked.

Phil nodded numbly, not fully processing anything that was happening, his attention still focused on loverboy. Eyes and mind glazed over, Phil slid out of the booth, letting Dan slip out behind him. Phil watched as Dan strode over to the door and enthusiastically enveloped the young brunette in his arms. When Dan leaned out of the embrace, he didn’t pull all the way back, instead wrapping his arm around her shoulders and guiding her over to the table.

“I missed you, you know,” Phil heard Dan say as they came within earshot.

“It’s been like a month, Dan,” the girl responded, elbowing Dan in the ribs.

Dan shrugged, not looking embarrassed at being called out on his feelings. It was cute, seeing Dan so happy to see his sister. It reminded Phil of how he felt when he saw his brother after a long separation. Phil knew that Dan hadn’t been as close with Adaline as Phil had been with Martyn while they were growing up, but he also knew that Dan was determined to build a better relationship with his sister now that she was older. It looked like he was doing a good job.

Dan led her to the other side of the booth before hovering at the table’s end between them.

“Yeah, well,” Dan sighed, rocking back and forth on his feet, “It’s been a long month.”

“So it would seem.” Dan’s sister, Adaline’s, eyes flickered between their empty glasses, and Phil wondered if she was thinking about the fact that they had both already been on the same side of the table when she arrived. Lord knows it was on Phil’s mind.

With a look of intent, Adaline’s attention switched to Phil, her eyes quickly flickering back to Dan with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, right, sorry. I’m being rude,” Dan apologized, nervously arranging the mop of curls on his head. “Phil, meet my sister, Adaline. Addie, this is my — um, Phil.”

The tips of Dan’s ears turned red, a matching spot coloring his cheek. A wide, cheeky smirk took over Adaline’s face. It was a smirk he’d seen before; Dan had flashed him that same expression countless times.

My what? Phil wondered, his cheeks flushing to match Dan’s. Surely Dan wouldn’t have cut himself off from saying friend. So what had he been about to say?

“Good to meet you, Phil,” Adaline was saying. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

The red spot on Dan’s cheek deepened, and Phil could feel his own cheeks heating up to match it. “I — yeah. I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”

“Awww, are you bragging about me, big brother?” Adaline teased.

“Fuck off, I can’t help talking about people I care about, okay?” Dan took a small step back from the table.

Shit, the both of them really needed to stop saying things that made Phil’s heart skip. At this point, he wasn’t sure if there was blood left anywhere in his body other than his face.

“So,” Dan broke the silence in what he probably hoped was a smooth interruption (it wasn’t). “Who wants what to drink?”

Phil pointed to his glass. “I liked whatever this was.”

“Okay, another Dark ‘n Stormy.” Dan snapped his fingers, making a lame finger gun at Phil. “Sis?”

“Whatever you’re having?” She suggested tentatively, her order coming out more like a question than a request.

“Right—” Another awkward finger gun. “I’ll be back in a moment, lads. Behave.”

Phil felt an internal moment of panic at being left completely alone with Dan’s sister after such a brief introduction. Apparently, his wariness wasn’t unfounded.

“So you’re Phil?” Adaline questioned the moment Dan was out of earshot, an impish look on her face.

“Y-yes?” Phil stuttered back insecurely, spinning his empty glass in his hand for lack of something better to do. Everything Phil knew about Dan was telling him not to trust the mischievous expression Adaline was fixing him with.

“Dan somehow forgot to mention that his lovely new friend Phil from the coffee shop was AmazingPhil.” A wide smirk took over Adaline’s face — a smirk Phil had seen before, on Dan.

Phil wasn’t sure just how worried he should be about the fact that Dan’s sister apparently knew who he was. Phil had told Dan countless things he had no desire for his viewers to know, and he had no idea how much of that information Dan had shared with his sister. Phil wholeheartedly trusted Dan, and recognized that if Adaline came from the same family, she was probably trustworthy too. But the fact remained that he didn’t know her. “I —”

He had no idea what to say.

“It’s fine, I saw through twitter beforehand, so it’s not like it’s a surprise. Don’t worry, I’m not a crazy fan or anything.” Adaline was much more nonchalant than Dan had been when he’d found out about Phil’s channel. Did that mean Adaline didn’t care, or had she just been exposed enough that it just wasn’t shocking anymore?

“Oh… have you, like, watched my videos?” Phil fished, trying to get a read on how potentially dangerous this situation might be.

“A few. I found your channel through PJ’s a few months ago and happened to see a few. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were the guy that was suddenly tweeting at my brother.”

“Er — yeah. Dan about had a heart attack when he found out,” Phil chuckled.

“I know,” Adaline laughed mercilessly at her brother. “He called me up in a fit the next day.”

“What a nerd,” Phil said with a roll of his eyes and a soft chuckle. He was pretty sure that his fondness for Dan was seeping into his voice, but he was well past the point in their friendship where he had any hopes of controlling it.

Luckily, Dan saved Phil from the embarrassment of Adaline potentially calling him out on his soft spot for Dan by Dan coming back, precariously balancing three drinks in his hands. He sat the fruity drink in front of Phil, pushed something clear and bubbly towards Adaline, and slid a half-full cup of amber liquid back towards his original seat.

“Let me in, Philly,” Dan smiled, tapping much more rapidly at Phil’s shoulder than was necessary.

“I’m moving, I’m moving!” Phil insisted. “You impatient little brat,” he added under his breath.

Unfortunately, his jab seemed to be heard by everyone at the table. Dan smacked him playfully upside the head.

“Oh look, he knows you already,” Adaline teased.

“Fuck off, Addie,” Dan said as he slid across the bench, stopping halfway to the wall so that he was still very much in Phil’s space when Phil sat back down. Absolutely nothing Dan and Phil did seemed to escape Adaline’s notice; her gaze was concentrated on the space — or rather, lack thereof — between them. Phil shifted nervously under Adaline’s scrutiny. He wasn’t sure what to make of how closely she was watching them.

“I thought I asked for the same thing as you?” Adaline questioned, letting her attention drift from the minute distance between them to just Dan.

“Yeah, but I’m drinking Jameson neat and I figured one of us needed to keep their head on straight,” Dan answered with a pointed look.

“Fine, fine,” she grumbled back, taking a sip of whatever Dan had passed her.

“Don’t worry, loser,” Dan quipped. “It still has alcohol in it. Plus, I figured you might like that better, seeing as you’re like Phil here and don’t care for bitter drinks.”

“Right, I’m sure giving me a weaker drink was a totally selfless, caring choice.” Adaline looked skeptically at Dan, who anxiously passed his glass back and forth between his hands.

Phil took pity on Dan and decided to change the topic, taking the focus off him for a moment. “So, what are you doing in London?” he turned with a smile to Adaline.

“Err…” Adaline mumbled shiftily, her eyes darting to Dan.

“We’re doing a uni tour tomorrow,” Dan supplied. Really smoothly.

“That’s awesome! Which uni?” Phil knew that Adaline was important to Dan and he wanted to show that he was interested, that he could get along with Dan’s family.

“Imperial,” Dan said at the same time that Adaline answered, “Middlesex.”

“Um…” Phil uncertainly looked between the two of them. Had one of them gotten confused? Did they suck at communicating? What the hell was happening here?

“We’re touring two!” Dan said abruptly, looking a bit like a deer caught in headlights. “Middlesex in the morning and Imperial in the afternoon!”

Adaline nodded along quickly. “Yeah, yeah. I’m, um, trying to decide which I like more!” Something about the way Adaline said it sounded fake, like she’d decided that on the spot. But why?

Regardless, Phil decided it was probably best to drop that conversation, since it seemed to have sparked a weird vibe between the siblings. “I’m going to run to the loo,” Phil said, hoping that the tension would dissipate before he got back, and that maybe, just maybe, he could have a moment to think rationally without Dan touching him and causing Phil’s thoughts to scramble.

Dan tugged on Phil’s sleeve, catching his attention. “Will you get me a water while you’re up, Philly?”

“No problem. Adaline?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Be right back,” Phil grinned before he turned away.

He only got a few feet from the table before he froze, realizing that he had no idea where the loo was here. He glanced around, searching the walls for a sign.

“Adaline!” Phil hear Dan hiss. “Since when are you interested in bloody Middlesex?”

“I’m not!” she whispered back. “I panicked and said the first school that came to mind!”

Phil spotted the bathroom sign and slinked away, hoping to not draw any attention to how close he still was to the table.

So he’d been right — there had been some weirdness when they were talking about why Adaline was in London.

But if it wasn’t for touring a uni, what was she here for?

**************************

By the fourth drink, Phil could feel the rum loosening his tongue — something he should probably be concerned about, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about. In his tipsy state, he turned to Dan and finally asked a question that had been plaguing him since yesterday.

“So, how was breakfast this morning?” Phil drawled, looking curiously at Dan.

Okay, it wasn’t the exact question he’d wanted to ask, but it would hopefully still get him the answer he was seeking.

It wasn’t until Dan’s eyes narrowed suspiciously that Phil remembered that he wasn’t supposed to know about breakfast. All Dan had said was that he’d “socialized” this morning.

“I didn’t realize I’d told you I had breakfast plans,” Dan said in a tone that made it clear he definitely knew he hadn’t told Phil about his plans.

Well, fuck.

“I — um, so.” Out of the corner of his eye, Phil could see Adaline’s eyes bouncing back and forth, back and forth between him and Dan. Phil scrambled for a moment, trying to find something he could say to cover his arse. But his tipsy mind couldn’t land on a good excuse before his tipsy tongue took over. “Look, cards on the table. I might have overheard you and Louise talking yesterday.”

Phil wasn’t sure what he was expecting from Dan — maybe him to be angry that Phil had been eavesdropping, maybe a chiding remark. He definitely wasn’t expecting Dan’s eyes to widen all the way and a look of panic to cross his face. But that’s what he got.

“The whole conversation?” Dan looked well worried about something.

Oh, you know, just the part where Louise was demanding to meet some guy in your life and you wouldn’t let her into the coffee shop. And the small part where you both were freaking out about whatever the hell your breakfast plans are. But no, no...

“No, why?” Phil said instead. If the look on Dan’s face was anything to go by, Phil should definitely not confess to how much he’d overheard. Which was… interesting, given the content of it.

A wave of tension appeared to wash out of Dan’s body, his shoulders untensing and his fingers unclenching from his glass. “N-no reason.”

Phil didn’t believe that for a moment. He’d let it slide though, for now at least.

“Breakfast didn’t happen though,” Dan said cryptically, not elaborating oh why breakfast didn’t happen or what breakfast was supposed to have been.

Adaline, for her part, was starting at Dan just as studiously as Phil was, which led Phil to believe that not only was breakfast something Adaline knew about, but he was right in his suspicions that it was supposed to have been something.

Phil knew he probably shouldn’t, but he decided to push his luck. “Oh, why not?” He hoped he sounded nonchalant, and not like he had an underlying motive for trying to figure out more information.

Dan breathed out a long sigh and knocked back half of his drink.

For a moment, Phil was worried that Dan wasn’t going to answer — or worse, that Dan was going to tell Phil to fuck off and that Phil shouldn’t be pestering him with questions about something he’d overheard.

Dan pleasantly surprised Phil, though, when he confessed the truth. “Well, the whole point of breakfast was to dump Isabella.” His voice was quiet, his words slightly slurred, and his eyes concentrated on his glass, but the meaning of what Dan had said rang loud and clear.

Breaking up with Isabella. As in, Dan making himself single and available. But —

Shit. Dan hadn’t gone to breakfast. Phil latched onto that fact, trying to make his brain wrap around what that meant — that Dan probably hadn’t gone through with his plans to break up with her.

Why? Why was the world being so cruel to Phil?

“Did you change your mind, then?” Phil asked, aiming to maintain his casual demeanor, but there was a wobble to his voice that was surely betraying his true feelings: panic and disappointment.

“What?” Dan’s head snapped up from his glass, looking at Phil in alarm. “No!” he corrected hastily. “I ended up breaking up with her last night.”

Oh.

Oh my god.

A million emotions rushed through Phil, and he wasn’t sure which one he should be paying the most attention to. He was relieved, so fucking relieved that Dan was single. That Isabella was out of the picture. He was worried, worried that Dan was upset or heartbroken about it — or worse, that there might have been some truth to the picture Phil saw on twitter last night.

But above it all, Phil felt a wave a clarity. If Dan had broken up with Isabella last night, that casted his actions in the last twenty four hours into a whole new light — Dan giving Phil his phone number seemingly out of the blue, Dan being much more forward tonight, Dan’s thigh currently pressing into Phil’s.

Were all of those things connected to the fact that Dan was now single?

Dan’s eyes bored into Phil’s, looking like they were trying to stare into his soul, like they were trying to communicate something.

Looking like they were confirming everything that Phil was thinking.

Against his better judgment, Phil’s heart soared. He should wait until he’d heard verbal confirmation from Dan, he should wait until Dan was single for more than a mere day.

He should wait.

But he couldn’t.

“Mum said to pass on her congratulations, by the way,” Adaline said with a smirk. The tension — the sexual tension, Phil was pretty sure — broke between Dan and Phil as they boy whipped their heads around to face Adaline. From the surprised long on Dan’s face, Phil wagered Dan had forgotten that Adaline was there just as much as Phil had.

Dan shook his head, seemingly pulling himself out of whatever thoughts he was having. “Mum is congratulating me for getting cheated on?” He sounded somehow both bitter and humored.

“So it’s true, then?” Adaline asked softly, the smile draining from her face.

Dan’s gaze fell and he fiddled with his napkin. “Yeah, it’s true.” There was no emotion left, he just sounded defeated.

“I’m sorry, bear. That sucks,” Adaline murmured, rubbing her hand against his forearm.

“It’s fine,” Dan said with a forced smile, fake positivity in his voice. His efforts to seem fine about that aspect of it were painfully transparent. “I was going to end it anyway. That just made it — you know, easier to do.”

“Still,” Phil chimed in, “That sucks. I’m sorry it had to end like that.”

“I mean, yeah, me too.” Dan took another long sip of his drink, almost draining it. “But, hey, the outcome is the same, right? And it made me feel justified in doing it on Valentine’s Day, so at least there’s that.”

“Oh god, how far did you get in your date before things went awry?” Phil asked, horrified.

“Ugh,” Dan groaned. “All the way to the end. I actually DMed you right after I left her apartment.”

“Uh!” Adaline interjected indignantly. “Excuse me, did you really DM him before calling me back, Daniel?”

The ashamed look on Dan’s face was enough of an answer. “Um, maybe. It’s not like it took long!” he defended.

“Excuse you,” Adaline crossed her arms defiantly, but in her tipsy state, she misestimated her movements and ended up smacking herself lightly in the shoulder, which seriously reduced the effectiveness of the action. “I”ll have you know that you’d given me a right scare after demanding I call you with a fake emergency and then ignoring my calls for nearly an hour.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Phil interrupted before Dan could further defend himself. “Did you really make your sister call you with a fake emergency so you could leave? Are you fourteen?”

“See!” Adaline cheered too loudly. “Phil agrees with me, you were being a baby.”

“Look,” Dan tried to explain, his hands waving around a little more wildly than normal. “You guys don’t know Izzy like I do. She doesn’t take very kindly to having her… sexual advances turned down—” Oh god, Phil thought, the alcohol had clearly loosened Dan’s tongue as well. “— and by that point I’d used up every excuse in the book.”

“Oh,” Adaline’s brows furrowed. “Was she just really not taking no for an answer last night?”

“Er, not quite,” Dan mumbled sketchily.

“Dish. What are you getting at?” Adaline demanded, banging her hands noisily on the table in earnest.

Phil was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear this. Whatever details of his sex life that Tispy Dan decided were appropriate to share were probably things that would only make Phil feel like shit. Briefly, Phil considered excusing himself to the bar to buy another round, or maybe even to go to the loo for the third time that night. Anything to avoid having to listen to Dan talk about sex with Isabella.

But Dan answered before Phil could do any of those things.

“More like over the past month. I’ve kind of been avoiding that for a while now.”

“I’m sorry, you wh-what?” Adaline choked a little on the liquid she was trying to swallow.

A month. Dan had been avoiding having sex with Isabella for a month. Out of all the things Dan could have said about his sex life, that had to be the most surprising one. He was dating a model for god’s sake, why hadn’t he to have sex with her for a month?

Nevertheless, Phil was glad. He had no claim to Dan, but knowing that he hadn’t been sleeping with Isabella for a while now… well, it was a relief.

“It’s not that big of a deal, okay.” Dan gave her a sharp look. “It just… hasn’t felt right—” His eyes flickered over to Phil, lingering for a moment, before returning to Adaline. “—for a while now. So I, you know, haven’t.”

Shit. Phil froze, staring at Dan long after Dan had returned his attention to Adaline. The way he looked at Phil, the heat that was in his eyes, made Phil feel like maybe he was the reason Dan didn’t feel right sleeping with Isabella.

“Oh my god,” Adaline gasped. “I —”

“Drop it, Addie,” Dan said tersely. “Enough about the demise of my shitty relationship.” His voiced lightened up some, turning almost teasing. “Now tell us about this date that you may or may not have had tonight that you were so easily persuaded to bail on.”

Well that certainly made it sound like whatever Adaline was in London for was because Dan had asked her to be. That explained why they were so weird about the uni tour thing, at least. It was odd that they felt the need to lie about why Adaline was there to Phil, but his alcohol hazed mind couldn’t come up with any possible explanations for it.

And clearly, Dan was too far gone to keep up pretenses about why Adaline was here.

“I just wasn’t that interested in the bloke, that’s all.”

“You not have a great Valentine’s Day either, then?” Dan asked.

“Huh?” Adaline looked perplexed for a moment before recognition dawned on her face. “Oh, no. Not that. Um, don’t judge me and go all big-brother.”

Dan raised his eyebrows expectantly. Phil had flashes of what Dan might be like in full big-brother mode, and hoped that he might get to see a glimpse of it.

“The bloke from last night was good. We’re going out Sunday. Tonight was going to be a, uh, different guy.”

“Adaline!” Dan admonished. “Are you really dating around? I thought we’d already talked about the dangers of sleeping with more than one person at a time! What if one of them has something? You need to be a bit more careful!”

Evidently Phil was getting to see big-brother Dan after all. He found it funny that they were apparently so open about sex, but yet Dan was still being protective.

“I’m being safe! Chill, bro.” Adaline chugged the rest of her drink. “Oh looky there, I’m all out of beverage. Dan?”

“You’re a piece of work,” he mumbled to Adaline, before swallowing the rest of his own drink. “I get us another round then, eh?” Dan poked Phil again, forcing him to let Dan out. Dan poked lower than he had last time, missing his ribs and hitting the soft, ticklish bit of Phil’s stomach.

On instinct, Phil spun towards Dan, catching Dan’s hand in his own, a giggle tumbling out of his lips. “Dan!”

“Oh dear, is Philly ticklish?” Dan’s other hand came around, poking Phil in the same spot, causing him to squirm. Phil’s free hand flew out, snagging Dan’s other hand. “Oh dear, he is!”

Dan wrestled with Phil a little, trying to wiggle his hands free so that he could poke Phil again. He succeeded in loosening Phil’s grasp enough that he was able to launch forward and poke Phil again, his chest crashing into Phil’s arm. Phil folded in on himself, trying to protect his sides from Dan’s attack, causing Dan’s chest to slip from Phil’s arm to his back.

“I give, I give!” Phil managed to say through his giggles.

“You’re no fun,” Dan said, the laughter in his voice contradicting his words. The hand he’d broken free from Phil’s wrapped around the front of Phil’s waist, pulling him into a hug. Dan rocked him back and forth lightly. “You’re silly, you spoon.”

Phil leaned back into Dan, feeling so warm in Dan’s arms, but was startled by an obnoxiously fake coughing attack from Adaline.

“I’m still here boys. And parched.”

Dan’s face heated up. “Sorry, sis. I’ll be right back.”

Phil started to slide out of the booth to let Dan out, but Dan’s grip on his hips tightened, holding him firmly in place. For a moment, Phil was baffled at what Dan was trying to do, unable to make sense of how the heck Dan was planning to get out of the booth if Phil didn’t move.

But then, it became very, very clear how Dan was planning to get up.

Still pressing Phil into the booth, Dan’s opposite leg swung across Phil, and, suddenly, Dan was straddling him.

Time froze.

Phil’s vision, which had previously been slightly blurred from the alcohol, focused sharply on Dan. Dan, who was properly in Phil’s lap, his head towering above Phil’s, his eyes gazing down at him. Phil stared back up, forgetting that the rest of the world still existed. Instinctively, Phil’s eyes dropped down to Dan’s lips, and he thought about it. He thought about saying fuck it, about closing the distance between them and pressing his lips to Dan’s. When Phil dragged his eyes back up Dan’s, he found that they were looking downward — like Dan was looking at Phil’s lips, like Dan was thinking about the same things.

“Fucking hell, Dan,” Adaline cried, sounding outraged. Her voice broke the trance between them, pulling Dan and Phil out of their own little world and back into the crowded, noisy bar.

“Right, sorry,” Dan murmured, far too quietly for Adaline to hear. His eyes searched Phil’s face one last time before he gave Phil’s hips a quick squeeze and climbed off his lap, abruptly heading for the bar.

Phil shifted in his seat. He had just enough inhibitions left to be embarrassed to face Adaline after that blatant display of flirting.

“So,” Adaline pounced on Phil the moment Dan was out of earshot.

“So…” Phil trailed off, unsure of why Adaline was looking so eager — and hesitant to find out.

Adaline crossed her arms, leaning forward on the table to inspect Phil. “You’re cuter than he normally goes for,” she said with a waggle of her eyebrows and a knowing smirk tugging at her lips.

Phil just about spat the ice cube he was chewing on out of his mouth. I’m what now? He tried to make his brain focus and think through all of the rum that was currently clouding his sense of rationality.

Did she mean that Phil was cuter than the girls Dan had brought home in the past? Because last time Phil checked, he hardly thought he compared to a damn supermodel. But, also, it was weird to compare the attractiveness of guys and girls, right? Did that mean — ?

Did that mean Dan had brought home guys before?

“Sorry?” Phil eventually spat out unintelligently. He was completely lost for more complex thoughts.

Adaline snickered — she knew exactly what she was doing to Phil. She clearly had information about Dan, his dating life, his history with boys that Phil didn’t know. And she was taking full advantage of her position of power.

Goddamn, her and Dan were too much alike.

“When it comes to guys, I mean. They’re normally, well, less cute. Don’t tell him I told you that though.” She winked furtively at him. “I doubt he’d take kindly to me drunkenly spilling his secrets. That’s definitely not why he invited me here.”

Phil’s jaw dropped. He wasn’t completely sure what to make of what Adaline was saying, but his heart was already skipping a beat, and his stomach was turning over. What Adaline had just said — it made it sound like Dan had definitely dated boys before.

“Oops!” Adaline covered her mouth dramatically, her voice dripping with feigned innocence. “Gee, whiz, did you not know that Dan’s bi?”

Phil’s heart had skipped a few beats before, but now it was downright pounding. The shock of what Adaline was implying — basically saying, at this point — was slowly starting to sink in.

So Dan had. Dan had definitely dated boys before — something Adaline had very intentionally just told him. That had to mean something for Phil, right? All of the things Phil had thought might be flirting, the way Dan had skirted around Isabella… That must mean something, then, right?

“I, um, no. Obviously,” Phil said when he was able to muddle through his drunken shock. He tried to organize his thoughts, tried to swallow his utter shock at having it confirmed that Dan was single, that Dan liked boys, to ask if all of that together meant that Dan liked him. “What did Dan invite you here for, then?”

Phil had to resist smacking himself in the forehead. That was an odd question to ask, given everything Phil had just learned, but okay.

To his surprise, Adaline cackled. “Actually, he wanted a babysitter.”

Phil rubbed his hands down his face, trying to get the drunk part of his brain to calm down so he could fucking process whatever the heck this was. What grown adult wanted a babysitter, and why? “Isn’t he, like, twenty three?”

Again, the wrong question to ask. Phil mentally kicked himself in the arse. Why was he completely botching this one moment he had with Drunk Adaline to learn more about Dan’s life?

“And asking to be babysat by an eighteen year old?” Adaline chucked. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” Phil’s brows furrowed as he tried to make sense of that. Adaline seemed to find the situation as funny as Phil did. “Uh, why?”

Well, it lacked sophistication, but at least he was finally asking a worthwhile question.

“Apparently he didn’t want to drunkenly drag you back to his place to fuck.”

What in the —

If Phil was shocked by everything Adaline had said so far, he was completely floored by that.

A hot rush of arousal shot through Phil at the very mention of that, and he forced himself to shake it away as best as he could. Those weren’t thoughts he should let his mind drift to while he was sitting across from Dan’s sister.

Okay, fine, Adaline had said that Dan liked guys — that was great. And she’d implied that Dan liked Phil, which, okay, fantastic. But to explicitly say that Dan wanted to fuck Phil — that was a whole new level that Phil wasn’t prepared to hear.

He did his best to swallow his shock and respond to Adaline. “I — he what?”

Adaline narrowed her eyes, evaluating Phil, the slight upward turn of her lips a pale ghost of the raucous smirk it had been a moment before. She nodded slowly. “Listen up, though.” Her voice was sharp this time.

Phil’s eyes widened at the fast change in her attitude. “What?” So far, Adaline had been nothing but chipper and easy-going, so the quick shift to reprimanding took Phil by surprise.

“That kid,” she nodded to the bar where Dan was waiting in line for the bartender, “I’m not sure who that kid is.”

Phil opened his mouth to defend Dan. Dan was so insistent on getting to know his younger sister better, and hearing her say that she didn’t know Dan made Phil want to launch into a diatribe about how hard Dan was trying. But Adaline cut Phil off before he could start.

“I know Dan, well,” Adaline rushed on to say. “And I like this new version of him,” she clarified, sensing Phil’s desire to stand up for Dan. “But I’ve never seen him like this before.”

Phil cocked his head, trying to make sense of what Adaline was saying. The Dan that was here tonight didn’t seem that different from the Dan that Phil was used to. Sure, this Dan was a bit more forward, a bit more flirty than the Dan that Phil had previously gotten to know, but that could be easily accounted for by the fact that this Dan was single. That didn’t seem to explain why Adaline found the boy at the bar nearly unrecognizable.

“What do you mean this kid?” Phil forced out, hoping to figure out what the heck Adaline meant.

“The guy who doesn’t want to sleep with someone immediately after breaking up with someone else?” Adaline pointed out incredulously. “The guy who’s saying that he doesn’t want to fuck up a relationship by moving too fast and jumping into sex before he’s ready? I’ve never heard him say those things before you.”

Phil was dumbfounded. It didn’t seem possible that Dan was doing all of these things for the first time solely because of Phil. “You mean, he’s acting different… because of me?” Phil asked stupidly.

“Yes, you idiot, because of you.” Adaline rolled her eyes, just like Dan. “Apparently he’s determined to do whatever this—” she waved her hand vaguely towards Phil, “—is right.”

“Oh,” Phil breathed, unable to keep the wide, beaming smile off of his face. Dan had just ended a rather long relationship — it was downright dickish of Phil to be happy at this moment.

And yet, his heart felt like it was racing faster than a plane about to take off, his body was tingling more than if every single limb had gone numb at once, his stomach was turning over like he was strapped into a never ending roller coaster.

“No, don’t smile yet,” Adaline reprimanded. “I’m not done talking to you.”

Phil’s eyes widened in fear, but he couldn’t make the smile completely go away.

“Like I said, this is new. I’ve never known him to not be sleeping with someone.”

Phil’s eyes flickered away briefly, more uncomfortable with the idea of Dan sleeping with someone — anyone — than he’d like to admit.

“But that being said,” Adaline continued without any respect for Phil’s feelings, “He’s Mr. Fucking Monogamy — in case you couldn’t tell by his reaction to me seeing two guys at once.” Adaline shook her head in exasperation. “I know he’s happy to be done with Isabella — as are the rest of us, frankly — but if I know him at all, I’m willing to wager that getting cheating on is probably hurting him more than he’s letting on.”

“Of course!” Phil rushed to assure her. “I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I got cheated on, even if it was in world’s worst relationship.”

“Exactly.” Adaline stared at him pointedly. “Which is why you need to need to back the fuck up here.”

Phil was startled — whatever he’d been expecting the point of Adaline’s lecture to be, that wasn’t quite it. He worried at his inner lip, drawing it between his teeth and biting harshly. Did that mean Adaline thought Phil wasn’t good enough? Was Adaline saying that any possibility of a relationship with Dan was off the table?

“What do you mean?” Phil asked worriedly, trying to conceal just how deep his anxieties were running.

“I mean that I can’t drop everything and come to London every damn time you two hang out, so I’m going to need you to be respectful of the fact that at least sober Dan wants a little bit of recovery time before—” she waved at Phil again, “—this. Do you think you can do that?”

“I, yeah, of course. I just…” Phil searched for a way to articulate everything he was thinking, “Want him to be happy,” he finished lamely.

“Then wait a bit,” Adaline implored. “Let him come to you — sober, I might add.”

Wait.

Not fuck off entirely.

Just, wait.

Phil could wait. For Dan, Phil would wait until the damn sun burnt out if that’s what it took.

“I can do that,” Phil smiled.

“You smug git,” Adaline teased. “You’re too happy about the fact that he definitely likes you to give a fuck about waiting, aren’t you?”

“Basic—” Phil was cut off by Dan’s return.

“Here we go, lads.” He set the drinks he was carrying down on the table, sliding each one to the right spot. “I forgot how busy this place gets on Friday nights.”

“Mmm,” Phil hummed as he took a sip of his fresh drink, hoping to avoid having to say anything for a moment so that he could process everything Adaline had just told him. And maybe to hide the stupidly big smile currently sat on his face.

Luckily, Dan took control of the conversation, as he was often want to do. And, like always, Dan proposed something that threw Phil for a loop.

“I want to tweet,” Dan bursted out abruptly. “Can I tweet?” He turned first to Phil, then to Adaline.

“Hey,” Adaline raised her hands in surrender, “I’m not here to police your public life.” She sent a wink at Phil that Dan was, in all probability, too drunk to notice.

“What do you want to tweet, Danny?” Phil asked. In general, Phil had no opposition to tweeting — but also, Dan could probably ask for the moon and Phil would start knitting a big enough lasso, so maybe he wasn’t the best judge.

“Ughhh,” he whined. “Please never call me Danny again. She called me that all the time, and if I ever have to hear that nickname again, I’ll fucking die.”

“Sorry,” Phil apologized. “Dear.”

Phil received a swift kick in the shin from Adaline for that, but it was well worth it when he watched Dan blush and mumble, “I like that a lot better.”

A burst of warmth rushed through Phil’s chest at the genuinely content, flattered look Dan had on his face.

Phil cleared his throat. “So, dear—” another kick to the shin — that was definitely going to bruise, not that Phil really cared that much. “What do want to tweet?”

“Us! And our drinks!” Dan exclaimed, looking more like an overjoyed child than he had any right to at this moment in time. Phil picked up Dan’s phone off the table, grabbing Dan’s hand without asking and pressing his thumb to the home button to unlock it. Once it was unlocked, he opened the camera and slid the phone across the table to Adaline.

He turned his attention back to Dan. “What are we doing in this tweet?”

In response, Dan pushed Phil’s Dark ‘N Stormy into his hand, picking up his own drink. “Hold it and look at the camera,” Dan ordered.

Obediently, Phil raised his glass to his mouth, dramatically taking a sip for the camera. Dan held his up at the same level as Phil’s, giving the camera a knowing look. The camera clicked loudly half a dozen times while Adaline took several version of the same picture so that they had some to pick from.

When Dan deemed there to be enough options, he made grabby hands for his phone, taking it back from Adaline.

“Help me decide which to tweet, Philly.” Dan pulled Phil in by his sleeve. Even though Phil could feel Adaline’s drunken watch on him, Phil let himself lean in ever-so-slightly to Dan. Not enough to warrant another kick in the shin from Adaline, but enough so he could smell Dan’s cologne better, enough so he could feel the warm heat radiating off of Dan’s body, enough so that he felt a little bit all consumed by Dan.

“I like that one,” Phil murmured near Dan’s ear when Dan swiped over one that was a good balance of silly and cute.

“Perfect,” Dan smiled, sharing it to a tweet. He gnawed at his lip for a moment before typing your fave lads are at it again, tagging Phil, and hitting tweet without taking any time to look it over.

***********************

Four hours and five (strong) drinks later, both Phil and Dan had surpassed tipsy and were properly drunk. Adaline, who’d showed up late and was a drink behind, had a bit more sense intact — but not by much.

“What do you think, lads, one last round?” Dan proposed.

Phil looked at Dan, his eyes struggling to focus clearly. “Okay,” he found himself agreeing anyway. Phil moved to push himself out of the booth.

“No, no, no, no. I think you’ve both had enough for tonight,” Adaline interrupted, catching the sleeve of Phil’s jumper and pulling him back down.

“But Adddieeeeee,” Dan whined.

“But Daaaannn,” Adaline whined back, teasing.

Dan raised his hand to the side of his head nearest Phil, only sort of successfully blocking Phil’s view of his face.

“Addie,” Dan whispered loudly, doing a piss-poor job of not letting Phil hear what he was saying. “I don’t wanna leave Phil yet, though.”

Phil’s heart melted. He didn’t particularly want to leave Dan either.

“Too bad,” Adaline mocked Dan, whispering back equally loudly and not even attempting to keep Phil from overhearing their conversation. “I didn’t drag my ass to London just for you to go home with him.”

Dan petulantly crossed his arms, huffing out an annoyed sigh, but didn’t fight her any further.

“And on that note,” Adaline giggled, “I think it’s bedtime, eh?”

“Probably for the best,” Phil agreed. As much as he adored getting to see this drunken version of Dan, as much as he definitely wanted Dan to come home with him, there was just enough left of Phil’s rational brain to know that tonight was not the night for that. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, maybe not even any night soon. Phil knew Dan needed time.

Time that Phil was willing to give him.

Adaline stood up, offering a hand to Phil. Phil gratefully accepted the help, letting her pull him to his feet. It had been a while since he’d stood up and — wow. The world rocked for a moment. Not having another round was the right decision.

Phil turned around to face Dan, who was staring helplessly up at him.

“Come on,” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s hand in his and tugging gently as Dan got up. The combined momentum sent Dan crashing into Phil, the two of them swaying precariously. In sync, their hands reached out to steady each other, Phil’s landing on Dan’s hips and Dan’s grasping Phil’s shoulders.

The rocking world faded away. All Phil could see was chocolate curls, and espresso eyes, and strawberry lips.

“Philip!” A voice behind him said sharply. Phil whirled around, knocking one of Dan’s hands from his shoulder. Adaline was stood close by, her hands on her hips and a reprimanding look on her face. “Behave!”

“Oops!” Phil ripped his hands from Dan’s hips, stepping backwards, his embarrassment practically radiating off of him.

“And to think, I’m the teenager,” Adaline mumbled.

“Sorry…” Phil apologized half-heartedly. His eyes drifted away from Dan, from Addie, and to the far corner of their booth, where the three of them had hung up their coats.

“Coats!” Phil exclaimed, smiling brightly at his own helpfulness.

Phil handed Adaline her coat before slipping his own on. He plucked Dan’s off the hook, spinning Dan around by the hips so his back was to Phil. Taking much more time and care than necessary, Phil helped Dan into his coat, slowly sliding each arm into the hole and slipping the jacket up his shoulders. When the jacket was on, Phil twisted Dan back to face him, and took Dan’s zipper between his hands.

The alcohol made Phil’s fingers clumsy and sluggish. It took three tries for Phil to successfully thread the zipper into the pull, his eyes focusing on Dan’s once it latched. Unwilling to let go of Dan just yet, Phil tugged the zipper up as slowly as he could, savoring every second of being close to Dan that he got.

Everytime Phil saw Dan, he could his stomach flipping over, his heart racing, his face threatening to break into a smile for no reason other than Dan’s presence. Tonight had been no exception, and now, holding Dan in place so closely to him, every single one of Phil’s feelings was amplified. He never wanted to move away.

But nonetheless, he had to eventually. Phil closed the zipper the final few centimeters, tugging slightly at Dan’s collar, just for something to do.

When Dan was tucked securely into his coat, Phil turned around to see Adaline watching them in amusement, shaking her head at their antics.

“Let’s get out of here, lads,” she said fondly.

“Phil needs an uber!” Dan exclaimed.

Oh yeah, Phil lived a lot further away than Dan did. Phil moved to fish his phone out of his coat pocket, but Dan already had his own in his hand, calling an uber for Phil.

“Here, Philly, put your address in,” Dan ordered, passing Phil his phone with unsteady fingers. Phil took the phone from Dan, taking four attempts to correctly type his address in the destination box. Two minutes, the app warned when he hit confirm.

“Thanks,” Phil handed back Dan’s phone, turning towards the exit. Dan’s hands came to rest on Phil’s lower back, pushing softly, guiding him towards the door. Adaline trailed behind them, following them outside.

Phil stopped by the curb to wait for his car. To his surprise, Dan stopped next to him — right next to him. Just a few small centimeters away.

“It’s cold,” Dan mumbled, maybe in explanation for why he was hovering so close to Phil.

“I know,” Phil agreed, wrapping his arm around Dan under the guise of providing warmth. And he did feel warmer. Maybe not physically, but there was an internal warmth washing over Phil that he’d never felt before. Phil grinned down at Dan, who’d tucked his head into the crook of Dan’s neck, and pulled him impossibly closer.

They stood like that until Phil’s car came. Phil half expected Adaline to interfere, to tell Phil to take a fucking step back, but when Phil glanced over Dan’s shoulder at her, she was smiling fondly at them.

When Phil’s car pulled up next to them, Dan drew back, but not quite all the way.

“I had a good night, Philly,” he whispered sweetly, eyes searching Phil’s face. Dan’s tongue darted out, licking his lips. Phil’s eyes followed the movement closely.

He should step back, he should give Dan the space that Adaline insisted that he needed.

But before Phil could make himself do it, before Phil could force a bit of space between them, Dan was leaning in slowly, swaying the slightest bit. Phil was rooted in his spot, unable to even move his head.

Dan closed the distance between them, pressing a sloppy, wet kiss to Phil’s cheek. His lips lingered a moment, his hand finding Phil’s and squeezing briefly.

Phil squeezed back. It was the only way he could manage to show his appreciation for the moment. Dan pulled back, finally stepping all the way out of Phil’s embrace.

A hot blush spread over Phil’s face, and, not for the first time that night, Phil felt like a teenager with his first crush.

“Me too, Dan,” Phil smiled softly, climbing into the back of his uber, his hand coming up to touch his cheek as he felt the ghost of Dan’s lips on him.

Me too.

a/n: i can’t WAIT to hear y’alls thoughts xoxo

#ly #love yourself #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phan au #au #coffee shop au #barista!phil #singer!dan #iminclinedtowriting

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flowerpowell · 6 years ago

Text

The Future (Part 3 of The Past) Chris x MC & Damien x MC

And here is the last part! Thank you for all your sweet comments, you probably have no idea but it makes me so happy seing how you like, reblog and comment on my fics! It was supposed to be only one fic that turned into a short series! Thank you everyone! It’s a weird, bittersweet feeling since my first mini series is ending. I really hope you’ll like the last part!

All rights go to Pixelberry, I do not own the characters. Rating: As per usual, normal, nothing scandalous

Perfect Match & The Junior crossover

Chris furiously packed his suitcase and cursed himself for being the cowardliest coward in the world of cowardice. Basically, he wasn’t happy with the conversation he didn’t have. But the word “friends” meant for him the end, they were after all just friends and she was happy with her investigator. He will not meddle in her life. If she’s happy he will be too. That’s all that matters. He closed the suitcase and left his hotel room. After giving back his key and calling a cab, he took his phone and unlocked it. There was one unread message. From Amy.

“Chris, is everything ok?”

Of course it wasn’t. Nothing was ok. He just lost the love of his life again. He quickly typed “Yes, don’t worry about me:)” and sent the message. What an idiot he was. He kicked a nearby bench but he immediately regretted that as pain overwhelmed his body. “Shit” he hissed as people around him looked at him with concern. “I’m fine!” he said and walked away to look for his cab. He had only 3 hours left in New York until his flight to Maine but he intended to spend them at the airport.

Damien entered the apartment and found his girlfriend already dressed and looking at her phone. “Is everything alright?” he asked, “You look worried.” She turned back at him, noticing him for the first time, “Oh hi! I don’t know really, there’s something wrong with Chris I think but he says he’s fine.” “Oh? Did he say something?” Damien asked. “No, actually no. He came here but didn’t say anything. I just found it weird.” She replied. Damien poured some water into his glass and drank it. It’s very weird, he thought. Why would he come here again? Did he have some business for my girlfriend? Amy came closer to Damien. “Are we still going to that dinner thing? I’m starving,” she smiled. He smiled back, “Of course. Let me just grab my stuff.” After a moment Damien came out from their bedroom with a new jacket on and his bag. “Shall we?” he asked. Amy nodded and he took her hand. Together, they reached her favorite place. Damien looked stealthily at her to see her reaction but she clearly had something else going on in her mind as her face didn’t express any emotion. Damien tried to hide his disappointment but hoped that the other part would go better.

The plane finally took off after the longest three hours Chris ever had to wait. He tried to shift his thoughts towards something else but they stubbornly kept coming back to Amy. He promised not to be a coward, to own up to his feelings. And what? He didn’t. And now he was running away. Again. Was he scared of the answer she could have for him? Was he scared of being rejected? Or maybe he was scared to change anything between them, especially now, when he finally had her back in his life. Chris put on his headphones and turned up the volume of his music. It’s gonna be a looong flight.

“Amy?” Damien looked up at his girlfriend barely touching the food she was given. She glanced at him. “I’m sorry” she shortly said. “I don’t feel well. I actually feel terrible. I’m really sorry,” she added. Damien smiled encouragingly, “Hey, don’t be. Do you wanna tell me what’s been bothering you?” Amy looked at her boyfriend.

She loved him. There was no question about it. She also knew he loved her too. And he was ready for another step with her whereas she thought she wasn’t. She felt tired with her mind, constantly thinking “what if.” She didn’t want to pretend everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. She was confused and had some feelings for both, Damien and Chris. And no matter what Damien deserved to know. She wanted to be fair and honest with him even if that’d break her.

Cautiously, she asked, “Damien, do you see your future with me?” He was shocked at first. His mind went crazy, he thought something was coming and he wasn’t sure he was ready. “Yes, of course I do” he answered honestly, “Do you?” Amy closed her eyes. She had to tell him. It was hard but it’s the right thing to do. “Not sure” she whispered, eyes still shut down. After a moment she slowly opened them and saw Damien, stunned, not knowing what to say. “Is this because I did that stupid research?” he asked. “No! No. It’s just, I-I’m confused.” she said, “I love you Damien. So much. But you deserve to know, my feelings towards Chris they, they kinda came back. And even though he doesn’t feel the same, it’s just unfair to you if I acted as if nothing happened.”

Damien was silent, not sure how to respond. Deep, deep down he felt she might have still be in love with Chris but hearing that in reality was much worse. He touched his sleeve where a pretty sapphire engagement ring waited for the perfect moment. Which probably would never happen. “I’m really sorry Damien. I couldn’t just pretend I’m fine and be with you while thinking about him. I’m not like that.” Still no word from him. “Hey, look at me,” she reached her hand for him but he pulled it away. Tears formed in her eyes. She’s lost him. “Damien... I love you. I just wanted to be honest. This...feeling may go away, or it may not. I just need time to figure it out. I don’t want you to spend the rest your your amazing life with a wrong person.” “So you’re a wrong person?” he finally asked. “I don’t know Damien. That’s what I need to figure out. But I don’t want give you only 50% of me, you deserve 100%.” He nodded sadly, “I understand.”

After the dinner Damien insisted on sleeping at his friend’s house but Amy explained that she wasn’t breaking up with him, only taking some time and that their apartment is big enough to fit both of them. Because she felt awful she decided to take the coach giving Damien their bed for himself. “You know, as a gentleman I problably should decline and take the coach but as me, I think I pretty much deserved the bed,” he laughed. She was relieved he didn’t hate her. She still had an important decision to make but at least she was honest about it. With relatively clear mind she went to sleep.

Damien lied on the bed unable to sleep. One of his nightmares turned into reality. At least she told me. Not like Alana. He sighed. He loved Amy and he wanted her to be happy. It hurt him it wasn’t him who could give her that happiness. He was nervous. He didn’t want to lose her but acknowledged the fact that her love to Chris must have been very strong. And that the love may actually win. If she’s so confused that can only mean she never stopped loving him. And if he does love her back she would be happy. He sat down in the bed. He looked at his laptop. Dare he do this? Is this the right thing? He just wants her to be happy. And he realized no matter with who it would be. A single tear rolled down his cheek when the realization hit him. He was ready to confront Chris just to make her happy. And even as my best friend I want her in my life. He quickly typed some words into his computer and after few minutes had all the crucial information. He was going to talk to coach Christopher Powell. He just can’t see her so broken. Damien turned off the laptop and put his earphones in. He chose a random playlist made by Amy and started falling asleep. The song played and he recognized the words:

“I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met”

He quickly changed the playlist into something more rock. He didn’t really want to cry into his beer by listening to some sad songs.

He woke up at five o’clock. Although the flight to Maine takes only hour and a half, or five hours of he wanted to drive, he wanted to be there as soon as possible. It’s not healthy, neither for him, nor for her to be kept in uncertainty. Quickly he wrote a note for her that he’d be out of town for a while. As quietly as he could possibly be, he left the apartment and drove to the airport.

Chris had a hard time. One, he met his love again. Two, she said she had a boyfriend. Three, he realized he still loved her. Four, he decided to tell her all about it. And five, he chickened out again and flew home without telling her anything. Congratulations Chris, you should’ve won some award for the biggest idiot on Earth. He was pacing back and forth in his house feeling antsy. He thought of calling her but realized it was stupid. No, she said we’re friends. It’s over. Oh boy, I’m so pathetic. He went to his bedroom and took his old photo album. Everyone always laughed at him when he was printing the photos and putting them into the album, like old people, but he actually enjoyed having them on paper. He found the first photos of him and Amy, their friends, photos from different parties, championships. Everything was easier then. He sighed and put the album back to the drawer. Next to the album, in the right corner, was the engagament ring he bought for Amy so many years ago and never had a chance to give it to her. He looked at it sadly and closed the drawer. It all belonged to the past. They’re in different places now. And maybe it was supposed to be that way.

“Powell! Open the door! I know you’re there! Open them or I’ll kick them down!” Damien yelled banging the door with his fist. He’s just arrived at Chris’s house and decided to announce himself by waking up the whole neighborhood. “What the hell? Damien? What on Earth are you doing here?” Chris opened the door, clearly shocked. “Oh, you opened. Good.” Damien smoothed his jacket. “Is Amy okay?” Chris asked concerned. “What? Yes, of course she is. But we need to talk.” And without any invitation he entered Chris’s house.

Amy tried to call Damien many times after she found the note. Did he leave me? I wouldn’t blame him if he did though. After Damien didn’t answer for the tenth time, Amy decided it’s time to finally work on her novel. Indescribable. Her first own novel. The only one she wrote all by herself. She was nearly finished with it, only two more chapters to go. She wanted to give the readers some sort of closure, what happened to the characters afterwards. They landed safely in New York and two best friends started dating. And then? And then, everything fucked up.

“I still don’t know what you’re doing here. Did Amy send you? What’s going on?” Chris stood in his living room while Damien found a comforable spot on Chris’s couch and sat down. “I came here to talk. Didn’t you hear when I said that?” Damien shook his head. “I did, I’m not sure I know if there’s anything we should talk about.” Chris crossed his arms and sat on a chair, keeping a distance from the intruder. “We need to talk Powell. About Amy. And you. About both of you actually.” Damien sighed. “I’ve checked. You’re not married, not divorced. No kids, stable job, good relations with family and friends--” What the hell? Did you investigate my life?! Does Amy know?” Chris was furious. Who was he and what did he want? “Calm down Powell, I did what I had to, she wouldn’t tell me anything.” “So? Why all this inquiry?” Chris asked.

Damien took a deep breath and started, “Look, I don’t know you and Amy never said a word about you until two days ago. But I know Amy and I know you guys have past. So my question is, do you still love her? Do you want to be with her? Is that why you came to New York?” “I-I--” Chris stuttered. What was he supposed to say? Yes, I’m love with your girlfriend? Yes, I wish you weren’t dating? What if he was a dangerous psychopath? How do you even talk to a psychopath? What if he burns my house like Beau burned that empty house? What if--

“No offence Powell, but I didn’t ask you for the date of the Civil War or the year of Hemingway’s Nobel Prize. I simply asked if you love her, is that hard to answer?” Damien looked at Chris, clearly annoyed. Yup, that guy is definitely a psychopath. “I’m not sure what do you want me to say?” Chris said quietly. “The truth, preferably. Listen, I love Amy, okay? And all I want for her is to be happy. Whether with me or not.” Damien felt something painful in his throat but went on, “She told me about your meeting, she told me you came to our apartment. I think I know what you wanted to say. And I know she feels something for you too. She told me that too. She’s confused and I want to make it clear. Do you love her?” Chris looked at Damien in disbelief but nodded. “I do. I never stopped actually. But I didn’t want to come between you two. I care about her happiness too.” Damien stood up and came closer to the book shelf. He needed a moment before speaking so that no one could see the water is his eyes. “I want you to tell her, you know, that you love her. She should know. She deserves to know.” “What about you? What if she wants to be with me, would you accept that?” Chris asked carefully. Damien wiped his eye, “As I said, her happiness is my greatest priority.”

After five hours of typing furiously the words she finally had both of her chapters finished. Finally! And it didn’t even take me that long. She read the ending to herself several times but she was happy with it. The writing helped to clear her mind. Amy decided to use the old-fashioned method her mom taught her when making decisions— list of pros and cons. Having everything on paper always gave her a sense of clarity. But the moment she wrote one of the two names she knew everything. She didn’t need any list. She knew what was right. What she wanted. And she decided to go for it. To fight for her fairytale. This time she needed to fight.

Damien left Chris’s house an hour later. Both men talked a lot about Amy and decided it would be the best if Chris came to New York with Damien. Damien thought a simple call would do the thing but Chris insisted on flying. “You can’t say all of that in a phone call! It needs to be a real conversation, eye to eye.” They were lucky as the flights were frequent and they didn’t have to wait too long. Damien was also relieved when he realized he didn’t have to sit next to Chris. He had nothing against him (except the part where Chris loves his girlfriend and goes to New York to tell her that and be with her) but he would rather sit with his thoughts only. In the meantime Chris was stressed as never. He didn’t know what to say, how to say it. He was scared of her reaction, and he still wasn’t fully aware of what just happened. But he did get it, Damien cared about Amy and he wanted her to be happy. He felt anxious and excited when he heard Amy felt something for him. It was like his wildest dreams came into reality. His precious Amy. He loved her so much. Even though he didn’t really like Damien, he was grateful for him to tell Chris everything. Now he saw a real chance. No more running away. Never.

Amy was just making a fifth cup of coffee when she heard Damien coming to their apartment. She left her mug on the counter and ran to the door standing face to face with her boyfriend. “Where were you? I was worried!” She exclaimed. “I wrote you a note, didn’t you get it?” “I did, and I also did call you many times. I understand why you’re avoiding me but a short message that you’re fine would be--” “I’m not avoiding you” Damien interrupted her. “But there’s someone you need to talk to first.” She took a step back. “But--” “Amy.” He looked at her. “I love you. Remember that. But you need to confront your past and your thoughts. You deserve to be happy.” Her phone buzzed. The text was from Chris. “Can we meet up in that cafe? It’s important.” She looked at Damien. He was already pouring some whiskey. She was torn. She wanted to talk to Damien but also needed to talk with Chris. Ugh why my life likes to be that complicated. “Listen, I’ll be back soon, so please wait for me okay?” Amy asked Damien while putting on her shoes. “Sure.” When she left the apartment, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

“Wait, wait, Damien came there, to Maine for you?!” “Well, yes, but Amy, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Please listen to me. It’s important.” He pleaded. Amy sat down, still shocked and turned her face towards him. “Amy...yesterday, when I came into your apartment I didn’t come to wish you happy birthday. I wanted to say how much I still love you. And how much I wish I told you that sooner.” She inhaled sharply. Is she dreaming? Is he saying that for real? She was lost in thought when Chris was talking about his graduation plans, when he mentioned the proposal she had tears in her eyes. She listened to him and the more she heard the more she knew. When he was finishing his speech she smiled through her tears. She wanted to laugh, to cry, everything at once. It was a weird feeling, but a good one. Relief washed over her face when he spoke, “So Amy, do I have a chance? Do you, maybe, feel something to me too?” Tears springing in her eyes. This is it, that moment. It’s now.

It was already after 11 when Damien heard someone coming into the apartment. He stood up and saw Amy taking off her shoes. Her make-up was all over her face but she had a big smile on it. She found his eyes already staring at hers and she smiled warmly at him. “You look like a panda.” He broke the silence. Amy frowned and bursted into laughter. “Oh my gosh Damien!” “I actually didn’t really expect you here. Do you need a hand in packing?” he asked. Amy came a little bit closer to him. “Damien...” she started, “you have every right to hate me but I need to--” “ I don’t hate you.” he broke in. “But I need to,” she continued, “tell you that--” “Amy. I get it. Really, I’m fine. You will be happy with Chris and I’m happy for you. I really am.” “Damien! Can I say something finally?” “I don’t think you have to say any--” “I WANT TO BE WITH YOU DAMIEN ANNOYING ASS NAZARIO. STOP INTERRUPTING ME AND PLEASE LET ME TALK OR I’LL GAG YOU” she yelled. Wait, what? He turned back to her, “What?” “Oh so now you listen. From now on I’ll just yell if I want something.” She chuckled. He grabbed her wrist and looked her in the eyes. “What did you say?” She rolled her eyes. “I said: I want to be with you. Of course, if you’ll still have me. I know that after everything I did and said I might not deserve you anymore but I do love you and I want to be with you. To give you my 100%. Cause I know you’re the one I want. It’s always been you.” Damien blinked a couple of times. “But what about--” She shook her head. “I realized it was you long before he came here. I think I actually knew it from the start. But this whole situation only proved my point.” She looked him in the eyes. “I told Chris that he will always have a special place in my heart but...you are the one I want to spend my life with. If you still want to” she added quietly.

“Chris I don’t know what to say. I was confused when I saw you again after all these years. And you’ll always have a place in my heart, you were my first true love. But I realized it’s Damien I want. It’s always been him. I’m sorry if I ever puzzled you. It was never my intention. I want you to be happy but I’m sorry to say it won’t be with me. You’re an amazing person, I’m sure you’ll find someone who will love you with all they have.” Chris thought for a moment. “I undestand. Damien’s a good guy, he deserves you.” “Chris...” “I’m good! Well, not really. Not yet. But I will be. You’re happy and that’s all that matters. Maybe it’s time for me to move on too.”

She closed her eyes waiting for him to reply. If he says no, she’ll understand. When after a minute he still didn’t answer she opened her eyes and looked at him. For the first time since they met she saw real tears in his eyes. “Are you sure?” he rasped. She let out a relieved breath. “Of course I am. I was never more sure about anything.” Before he could open his mouth she added “I’m so sorry. For the mess I’ve made. I thought I was confused, I thought I had only questions but I couldn’t see I had the answer right in front of me.” He didn’t say anything. Damien instantly swept her up in his arms and pulled her in the most passionate kiss they’ve ever shared. His tears mixed with hers, her black mascara staining his cheeks. When they pulled away breathless, he leaned his forehead on hers. “So, are you forgiving me?” she asked. He chuckled. “I thought it was obvious. I might prove it to you in another way” Damien said kissing her jawline and carrying her to their bedroom.

“Maybe we could talk from time to time? You know, so that we actually communicate instead of waiting another eight years to talk.” Chris asked. “You got it.” She smiled. They hugged each other and stayed there, in this very position, again a little too long than necessary. Even though they let each other go in friendly relations, the feeling was rather bittersweet. The smell of Chris’s cologne now belonged to past. And this time she was ready to move on.

And when she lay down, in Damien’s strong arms, trying to regain her breath, she was the happiest she’s even been. Her past belonged to Chris. Her present was uncertain until she came into the realization that she already felt deep down in her heart. And she also knew, her future belonged to Damien, to both of them, together. There was no more confusion, no more uncertainty. Just her, Damien, and the future ahead of them.

THE END.

Tagging: @flynnomalleys @mariamatsuo @choices-sideblog @syltti78 @ihearyoucallmyname @the-lovehacker @hellomynameisdeviblaire @hearteyes-em @vnessafer2016 @thatspicegirlssong @emerald-bijou @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid @kickbuttbookworm @damienazariostan ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#perfect match #perfect match fanfiction #perfect match fanfic #damien nazario #damien x mc #the freshman #the sophomore #the junior #tf/ts/tj #chris powell #chris x mc #the junior fanfiction #the junior fanfic #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfic #long post #i feel a little bit bittersweet #last part

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daphnegeeksout · 6 years ago

Text

If You Were Here (3/9) [Tony Stark x Reader]

Read it on AO3

By: daphnethewriter

It’s hard to live this way… to only see someone through the other side of a screen. Tony stumbles across a computer bug that’s more than just a bug. You need his help, but first you need to win his trust. Hopefully you can do it before time runs out.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Words: 3,474 Chapters: 3/9 Language: English

Chapter 3

Tony wakes to the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor and the burning smell of hand sanitizer. Shit. The medical suite. Usually he can get there under his own power, so if he wakes up already there… must have been a bad fight. What was it this time? Aliens? Hydra? Some new hell?

His head pounds as he opens his eyes to the sterile, white walls and piercing lights. The pain that pierces his skull triggers something: a recollection of driving and… and someone yelling at him. He groans.

"Here."

Tony steadies the glass that presses to his lips and gulps the contents. His stomach roils against the water. Such a familiar feeling. Not a battle, then. At least, not one against any new demons. When he finishes the water, he turns, squinting through crusty eyes at the man next to him. Steve. "What happened?"

"You had a blood alcohol level of .30." Tony jerks around at the sound of Rhodey's voice. He hadn't seen him on his first inspection of the room. His expression is as dark as his voice. "We had to pump your stomach."

"What were you doing driving?" Steve asks.

Oh god, a carousel of bad decision-making. The familiar pit of shame unfurls in his stomach. A thousand lectures roll through his mind. Tony shakes his head to clear the noise, then raises his palm to his temple when that hurts.

"That would be the concussion," Rhodey explains. "Still aren't sure how you got it. Care to enlighten us?"

He remembers the yelling. And the brakes pushing themselves. Then the steering wheel rushed at him and everything cut out. "How did you find me?"

"You showed up in the garage," Steve says, "passed out cold. How did you even make it back?"

Good question. The Lotus can drive itself no problem, but Tony hadn't set the autopilot. You. You must have taken over the car. Oh fuck, fuck, that's wrong in so many ways. Tony raises a hand to his throbbing head.

"Someone called for medical aid," Steve continues. "Don't know who."

For an AI, you're one hell of a busybody. "Must have been FRIDAY," Tony says.

The room freezes as Rhodey and Cap look to each other.

"Trying out a new AI?" Rhodey asks.

"Blaire told me Tony was working on a new one," Steve answers. "She said he built a girlfriend."

Oh hell. For someone who can't speak, Blaire sure has a big mouth. "She is not my girlfriend," Tony snaps.

<He did not build me.> Your familiar hologram materializes at Tony's bedside.

"Go away, Cheshire," Tony says. "We'll talk about it later."

<Bullshit!> you snap. <We'll talk about it now. I don't take orders from you and, after last night, don't you think for a second that you're in a position to give me any.>

"Tony…" Steve's voice toes the thin line between confused and concerned.

You continue as if he hadn't interrupted, crowding into Tony's space. <You took a bath in whiskey and I had to knock your dumb ass out so I could drive you home.>

Tony's temper unravels, his anger at himself lashing out at you because you're a convenient target. "I didn't ask you to do that."

You match his bark for bite. <I wasn't fucking doing it for you. You can plow your car into the river for all I care.>

You seem to be on the road to a full-fledged tirade, one that Tony isn't in the mood to share with Steve and Rhodey. "FRIDAY, flush the system."

<FRIDAY, don't you fucking d—>

You vanish with a flicker, leaving Tony alone in the dark with Steve and Rhodey.

"What the hell is going on?" Steve asks.

By the time you reassemble yourself and break back through the Avengers' firewalls, Tony is out of the medical ward and the team has gathered in a conference room for a heated discussion.

"What is that thing?" Rhodey asks. You bristle at his tone.

Tony sits at the head of the table, his forehead resting against the wood. "She—it… well, I don't know exactly."

<I'm a person.>

"Oh, great," Rhodey says. He throws his hands up. "It's back."

"Tony," Steve speaks this time. His eyebrows knit together. "What does it mean: it's 'a person'?"

<Same thing it means for you,> you say. Now that you've exposed yourself to the entire team (thanks, Tony), your chances of getting help are quickly diminishing. You don't have time for niceties anymore.

"Cheshire. Just"—Tony lets out a long breath through his nose—"stay out of this right now." He doesn't look up. It doesn't matter, there's nowhere for him to make eye contact.

He sits up and rubs the bridge of his nose. "Sure, whatever, but can you shut up for just a second?"

<I'm not just some AI that you can—>

A tingle on the extreme edges of your consciousness distracts you. Before you can investigate, an aggressive push rocks your hold on the system. You recognize the touch. Vision. You’ve never interacted with him directly, but you've tiptoed around him enough times to recognize the signature.

You push back with everything you have, overwhelming him and chasing him back into his own mind, maybe a little beyond. Physically, he flinches, dropping to one knee where he had stood. All eyes turn to him.

"Vis?"

He holds his hand up to reassure the woman—Wanda—who had rushed to his aid. "It is alright. I attempted to remove the intrusion from the system."

"Hey," Tony calls to the ceiling. "Knock it off."

<I'll keep my hands to myself if he does.>

"Let's just… figure out what's going on here first," Natasha says.

"What's there to figure out?" Rhodey asks. "Tony, that thing is a menace."

"You what?"

Everyone starts talking at once, telling Tony what he should do. Prevailing opinion seems to lie with your destruction.

"I know!" Tony shouts. The other voices stop. "I know it doesn't make sense and it's dangerous and you want me to fix it. I get it. Just let me think for two seconds."

A ringing silence follows his outburst. For a few moments, only tension fills the air. Natasha is the first to speak again. "Tony, what happened?" Her voice is gentle, coaxing.

He takes a few moments to steady himself, then addresses the group again, his tone flat like he's giving a lecture. "There's a woman at a long term care facility in Albany. That's who she"—he gestures to the ceiling as if that's where you live—"claims she is."

"Is that true?" Steve asks.

"I don't know."

Rhodes chimes in, "This is crazy. People can't be computers."

"They can," Natasha says. "Steve and I saw it."

Steve meets her eyes. "Zola's lab. At the SHIELD facility. He transferred his mind to a computer bank before he died. They kept him there for decades."

"Yeah?" Rhodey asks. "And how did that happen?"

Tony answers before you can give a sharp retort. "She was at Helen Cho's facility. Ultron blasted her with the scepter."

"That's what gave me and… Pietro… our powers," Wanda says from the corner where she stands with her arms crossed. "Exposure to the staff."

"To the Infinity Stone," Vision says. Silence falls over the room.

"Are we actually considering this?" Rhodey seems scandalized.

"It would be an oversight to not do so," Vision answers.

"And what if it's another Ultron?"

Tony comes to your defense. "She's not like Ultron."

"How do you know?"

"I just"—he rubs his hand over his face—"She's not."

"She's dangerous!"

A sharp knock on the table stops the conversation. All eyes turn to the woman—Blaire—sitting next to Steve. [I was dangerous] she signs.

Steve lays his hand on her arm. "It's different."

Blaire looks to Tony, a combination of confusion and pleading. [she can't control her powers] she insists. [we should help her] The group exchanges uncomfortable glances. [what do you want to do?] Blaire asks Tony.

Tony raises an eyebrow at Steve. "You're really okay with me doing this?"

"If we said no, would you listen?"

Tony smirks, but doesn't answer immediately. He stares at Blaire's pleading face, his expression shifting my millimeters each second. You'd hold your breath if you had one. "Yeah," he says finally. "I want to help."

Tony arranges to have your body moved to the Avengers facility. It isn't hard getting permission—your grandmother is all too eager to jump at the chance Tony offers. Which is good, because no normal doctor on earth would sign off on what he's planning. You're braindead and he's going to perform experimental surgery so that a computer program can run a human body. And he's not sure that's possible. He has all of your paperwork, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. Tony doesn't even know what he's looking for, but knowing everything has to be a good start, right?

"Physically, she's in incredible shape," Bruce says after he finishes a thorough examination of your body. "Considering how long she's been in a coma, she should have experienced significant muscle atrophy."

"She didn't?" Tony asks.

"Not nearly as much as she should have. It's similar to—" Bruce cuts off, eyebrows knitting together.

"What?"

Bruce removes his glasses, fiddles with the frames. "Did you read the SHEILD files from when they revived Steve?" When he looks up from his hands, his eyes pierce through Tony.

Tony had perused most of SHEILD's files, and paid attention to the ones regarding Rogers in particular, but he didn't see how that was connected to you. "They aren't exactly springing to mind."

"He'd been in the ice for seventy years," Bruce says, as if that explains the connection. Tony lifts an eyebrow, inviting him to continue. "Not only did he survive, but he was in the same shape he was when he went under. No rehab required. Even under lab conditions, cryogenics wouldn't have worked that well."

"The serum?" Tony suggests, but his gut tells him no.

"I'm starting to think the super soldier serum gets more credit than it should." Bruce reaches for the supplies to draw blood. "I'm not sure about this, but I'll look into it. We might have more in common than I thought."

<Like what?> you ask. Bruce startles a little and looks around the room as if he could see you. You oblige by shimmering the hologram into view beside him. Tony smiles to himself. It's easy to forget that you're listening when you don't make yourself apparent.

"If Loki's scepter emitted high levels of gamma radiation," Bruce explains, "it's possible that you received your powers that way."

Which would be a common link in all the super-humans suddenly popping up. Steve, Bruce, Wanda, Pietro, Blaire, now you…

"So," Tony says, "gamma is the key to all this?"

"Maybe. I'll see what I get back from the blood sample."

In the meantime, they run the full gamut of exams. Tony has to remove all your piercings so he can run the MRI. There are… a lot. Every time he thinks he finally has them all, you remind him of another one. Not to mention the tattoos. Is there any part of you that isn't covered in ink? The MRI clicks and whirrs as the images flash on the screen.

"It's a normal brain, Tony," Bruce says, watching the monitor. "I don't know what you're looking for."

Tony didn't either. "It can't be normal," he says, leaning toward the screen. "Not completely. She's not in there." There had to be something the doctors missed. This wasn't a normal case.

"Right, that's why the scan shows no activity." Bruce waves at the screen. "Brain death."

<I'm not dead.>

"As far as your brain is considered, you are," Bruce corrects you.

"Yes, but is it healthy?" Tony asks. Dead or not, he can't put you back if your brain has turned to soup.

"How should I know?" Bruce shrugs. "In most cases, this is where they would contact the family about organ donation."

"But there aren't any injuries?"

"Not visible, no."

<So, I should be able to go back in.>

Bruce sighs. "There is no in. Consciousness doesn't just jump in and out of the brain."

"Even if you can," Bruce says, though his tone is skeptical, "How do you think this is going to work? Once you're in there?"

"The brain runs on electrical pulses," Tony says. "It's an organic computer setup, if you think about it. She should be capable of running it, assuming we can make the transfer of consciousness."

"Theoretically." Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. "Not sure how you're planning on doing that, but I'm guessing it will be brain surgery. Massive brain surgery."

"Well, how else are we going to do it? She needs the connection. If I can create a fine enough mesh, actually integrate her into the cerebral cortex, then she can transfer from the electrical current of the mesh into her own neurons."

"Theoretically." Bruce sits down in what Tony now recognizes as a weary gesture. "Tony, this whole thing is a crapshoot. She's unique. There's no precedent for this sort of transfer. We can't go back on it. It's not like we can make a copy of her. We can't even test it beforehand. If this goes wrong, there's not a second chance. You could fry her brain and destroy both halves of her."

"We managed to stick Jarvis into Vision, didn't we?"

"Yeah, but Vision was an infinity stone. And the body was manufactured in the cradle. He's a synthetic life form. You're trying to shove something synthetic into an organic container. There's no way of knowing if it will preserve her existing consciousness. You could kill her." Bruce runs his hands through his hair. "Look, Tony. This kind of neuroscience is way beyond me. I think… I think you should consider this a little more."

Tony stays in your room long after Bruce leaves, just… staring at your body. He doesn't see it, per se. He's just thinking, running his thumb absently over the pulse in your wrist.

<What's up, Doc?> Your hologram appears on the edge of your bed, wearing a hospital gown, just like your body.

"Doc?" Tony asks. His expertise is more mechanical than medical, even if he is stepping outside his comfort zone for this.

<You have three doctorates,> you say. <At least one of them should count.> Your hologram shifts, folding her hands in her lap. <Having second thoughts?> You ask. Your tone is nonchalant, even if the question isn't.

Tony stands. It's not… cold feet or anything like that. The challenge is exhilarating, but the consequences? Tony isn't used to consequences. At least, before the Avengers, he wasn't. Now it feels like every breath he takes is costing lives somewhere. He does something, someone dies. He sits out, someone dies. Buildings fall and democracy crumbles and he used to not worry about those things. Collateral damage. He makes a circuit of the room. "You're safer staying where you are." He runs his hands through his hair, mussing it. "Bruce is right. There won't be any second chances at this." Collateral damage. Numbers, statistics, death tolls. It's easier to gloss over that way. But you… you're personal. You're a living, breathing—no, not quite that. You exist and you care. And Tony hadn't realized how much he'd grown attached to you.

<You know,> you say, interrupting the vicious circle that his thoughts run, <I don't remember what bacon tastes like.> Your hologram smirks at him and your body remains still as ever. It's like watching a ghost. <Like, I know that's a stupid example, but can you imagine? Not remembering that? Or what sunlight feels like?> Tony looks down, not able to maintain eye contact, even if the image isn't really you. <This isn't living, Tony. I can't feel anything or touch anything. As far as I know, I won't die—not without help. I don't want to live forever like this.>

Live forever. You say it like it's a death sentence. Maybe it is. Tony's considered that, not in the same way, of course. But… what if he outlived everyone he loved? Yeah, he'd risk his life too.

It's amazing to watch Tony work. He goes into a trance, focusing so hard on his task that the rest of the world seems to shut off. His big hands do delicate work, creating the most amazing things out of nothing. Even so, even with his mind at full capacity, the mesh isn't an easy creation. There are too many variables, too many catches and tricks. The brain is sophisticated—hacking it seems to be giving Tony trouble. Days worth of trouble.

<You should go to bed, Tony,> you say when, once again, it's three in the morning. Tony is still working.

Tony jerks out of the daze he'd fallen into. "I'm fine."

<When was the last time you actually slept?> You know when that was, of course. You don't sleep and you have nothing better to do than watch him. It's been thirty-two hours and twenty-six minutes since he took a catnap in the lab. Tony needs sleep. Real sleep. In a bed.

"Don't worry about it. Don’t you want me to find a solution to your problem?"

<Yeah, but I don't see how running yourself into the ground is going to help things. Won't a little rest be better?> Ok, so your motives aren't purely practical, even if you phrase them that way. Sleep would help Tony think better, but you're more concerned with his wellbeing. He isn't a machine, even if the others often treat him that way. They seem to have grown so accustomed to his self-sacrifice that they take it for granted. That's just Tony. He'll do whatever it takes.

"I keep pushing until it comes to me. That's how I work."

Of course it is. That's the problem. He doesn't see himself as worth caring for. He thinks he's expendable. You cross in front of him and he pulls back instinctively, rolling his chair away so his hands don't pass through you. <Why did you decide to help me?> you ask. It's a distraction, one that might help your cause. But you're also curious. He'd been so adamant, but when someone else questioned you, threatened you, he became your greatest defender. <What changed your mind?>

Tony picks up a screwdriver, then puts it back down. "You're my responsibility."

Ok… not what you were expecting. 'A challenge' maybe or 'Because I felt like it'. But, you'd approached him for help. He didn't owe you anything. <How's that?>

"I made Ultron. If it weren't for me, this wouldn't have happened to you. Wanda would still have a brother. All those people in Sokovia—"

The way he cuts off, the way he looks down, the only direction where you can't see him directly in the cameras… he's… you process the image, searching for comparisons, but it isn't familiar. It's almost like he's ashamed. <You wanted to help people.>

Tony laughs, a dark, self-mocking sound. "Oh, yeah. That worked out great."

"Really? Because I thought I did." He paces the edge of the lab. "I thought I had seen it. I thought that what Wanda put—what I saw—was where we were going. I knew. I knew if I didn't create Ultron, that that's where we would end up. So, I did. And I made something so much worse."

<Tony…> It's not pain—you can't feel pain—but, god, it's so close. You want to touch him. You want to reach through the circuits, the code, anything if it meant you could get to him. You settle for moving the hologram, lifting her hand to cup his cheek. He can't feel it, there's no way he could, but he leans into it just a little. In all your time in this disembodied state, never once have you felt such a powerful need to have your physical form back. You'd give anything—everything—if you could reach him. <You're so brave.> It's utterly inadequate. But how are you supposed to describe him? Everything he's sacrificed, everything he's endured—all the suspicious glances from those who are supposed to be his teammates, the accusations, the threats. And all he ever wanted was to keep people safe.

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