#there was a lack of alex lockscreens | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adhd-disaster-willie · 4 years ago

Text

you’re the one that brings the sun; chapter 5/6

chapter 1, 2, 3, 4

warnings: swearing

word count: 2,757

notes: okay so this update took a while because I’ve been busy with school and writers block has been kicking my ass, but I think it’s worth it :)))

---

It was established in August that at least once a month, Alex will receive a phone call informing him to be at Julie’s house in ten minutes for a mandatory slumber party. It’s endearing sure, but he would like some sort of warning other than Luke calling him and saying that if he doesn’t show up as soon as possible, he’ll paint his drumsticks neon green. So that’s how Alex ends up sitting cross legged on Julie’s bed, putting Reggie’s hair into a bunch of tiny braids and watching The Princess Diaries for what’s probably the hundredth time.

“Lilly is definitely a lesbian,” Flynn says through a mouthful of popcorn.

Alex hums in agreement and Julie nods. “If only this movie weren’t made in 2001,” Julie says mournfully.

“Y’know I always thought that Joe was gay,” Alex admits. “Up until he dances with the queen.”

Reggie attempts to look up at Alex, earning an offended squeak from the latter. “Really?”

“Yes, now will you please stay still, I only have one more left.”

“Ok but there is no way Mia’s mom is straight!” Flynn says.

Julie seems to mull it over for a bit. “She does live in an old fire station. And artists are never straight.”

“Yea, like Willie!” Luke pipes up, sitting up from his position hanging halfway off the bed. “Willie’s not straight.”

“We should start a betting pool on how long it takes for Luke to bring up Willie,” Alex mumbles, his cheeks flushing pink. He ties off Reggie’s final braid and pats his head approvingly. “You look like a real princess.”

“Do I?” Reggie grins up at him with a bit of a twinkle in his eye and Alex chuckles.

“No subject changing,” Luke protests. “How’s Willie doing?”

“Still a pining idiot,” Flynn answers with a cheeky smile.

“I’m trying to watch the movie.” Alex shoves at Luke’s face and slides down off the bed to sit on the floor beside Reggie.

“You’ve seen this movie a million times,” Luke points out. He leans down so his head is hanging off the edge of the bed and smirks mischievously at Alex, who is pointedly refusing to look at him. “Aleeeex,” Luke whines. “Don’t be a buzzkill.”

“Alice, please,” Flynn says. Alex shoots her a look seeping with betrayal and Flynn raises their hands defensively. “I haven’t seen Carrie in a few days!” They protest. “I need drama.”

“Drama?” Alex asks. “Or blackmail material?”

Flynn shrugs, which only serves to cement what Alex was thinking. “Yea, nope. It’s not like anything has even happened since-” He cuts himself off, realizing his mistake and preparing for the onslaught of questions.

“Since!?” Luke cries. “Since what?!” He grabs Alex’s face roughly and looks at him with wide eyes. “Since what, Alex?”

“Nothing!” Alex squeaks, wrenching himself from Luke’s grasp. “Nothing! It was- let go of my fanny pack! Julie stop filming!!!” Alex swats at Luke’s hands and attempts to leap forward to grab Julie’s phone, but ultimately fails.

“I’ll let go if you tell me,” Luke teases in a sing song voice, his grin only growing the more Alex fights.

“Fine! If you just- sorry Reg the puppy-dog eyes only work on Luke and Bobby.” Reggie sighs in disappointment and Alex finally manages to get Luke off of him, huffing angrily and brushing nonexistent dust from his hoodie. “You’re a barbarian,” he mutters.

“Well?”

Alex responds to Julie’s prompting with a long-suffering sigh. “You have to promise not to make fun of me,” he says. They don’t promise. The movie is long forgotten as Alex’s friends gather around him, looking all too fascinated by his latest embarrassment. “He well… don’t laugh, ok. He wore a crop top last week and I tripped on my own feet and scraped up my knees.”

Flynn raises an eyebrow. “Nuh uh, there’s more, spill.”

Alex groans, burying his face in his hands. “They got all worried and started putting bandaids on my knees and I almost fainted. Then- please don’t make me say this,” Alex pleads, looking to Julie as if she’s his last hope. She shakes her head. “When they finished lecturing me I just looked at him and said ‘nice shirt’ and ran off. Nice shirt??? What is wrong with me?”

“Wait a minute,” Julie says, gesturing for Alex to pause. “You just… ran off? Where?”

Alex doesn’t say anything.

“I’ll paint your drumsticks if you don’t tell us,” Luke threatens. The difficulty is that Alex doesn’t doubt him one bit, and knows that Julie has a healthy supply of paint in a drawer just a few feet away from Luke.

Alex mumbles something under his breath and Reggie pokes him.

“Sorry what was that? Speak up.”

“Orange, I’ll paint them the ugliest shade of orange ever.”

“I went and hid in my closet!” Alex blurts. “For like an hour. I am never going to live that down.”

“That’s… incredibly ironic,” Julie laughs.

“I’m telling that story at your wedding.”

“Reginald, don’t even think about it!” Alex kicks Reggie lightly and raises his hand to flip off the other three, who are all dying of laughter. “I hate all of you. I need new friends.”

“Good luck with that.” Flynn pats Alex’s head; he can practically hear their stupid smirk.

“Fuck off.”

“No.”

---

Alex wakes up with his foot in Luke’s face, one arm thrown over Julie, his face in Reggie’s neck, and a very giggly Flynn perched on the end of the bed taking pictures. He sits up and murmurs sleepily, squinting in the oddly hazy room.

It’s gray and gloomy outside, quite fitting for mid-November, but far from Alex’s ideal weather. He’s always been partial to spring, when it’s not too hot and not too cold and not always cloudy and sad.

Flynn hops off the bed and onto Julie’s chair, where she spins a couple times before turning her phone to show Alex. “This is gonna be my new lockscreen,” they giggle. Alex stares at the photo, baffled as to how his arm was bent like that.

Breakfast is heaps of pancakes and fresh coffee (bless you, Ray) that for a moment, Alex considers just dumping over his head. Julie is curled around Luke for warmth throughout the whole morning and Flynn makes a point to gag at least once every 5 minutes. Alex knows she’s happy for them though, they finally got their act together a little over a week ago and at least this is better than the pining. Alex doesn’t say that though, because it will only get him a lecture on how he is not one to talk about pining.

Alex almost thanks a god he doesn’t believe in anymore when the rain outside doesn’t seem to make any moves into thunderstorm territory. Willie hates thunderstorms. He stays cocooned in a blanket until noon, but eventually Tía Victoria shoos them all out, claiming that Julie will never finish her homework with them all glued to her.

Alex is sopping wet when he finally arrives at his dorm, sadly no car can go right up to the entrance of the dorms. The first thing Alex notices when he walks in is the candles, and the second thing is the haphazardly thrown together fort in the middle of the room, which he narrowly avoids tripping over. “Willie?” He asks, lifting what he assumes to be the entrance and raising an eyebrow at Willie, who is grinning at him and shining a flashlight in his face.

“Ok, get that out of my eyes.” Alex clamps a hand over the light and Willie sticks his tongue out. “Did the power go out?” Alex asks, worry etching over his face. He can’t have all their food being ruined, with Alex living off his coffee shop job and Willie off of the occasional commission and odd check from his eccentric uncle.

Willie shakes their head. “Nope.”

“So why the… candles?”

“It’s fun!” Willie pulls Alex into the fort, stumbling back and just barely evading them toppling over each other into a quite compromising position. Willie presses his back against the couch and pats the space next to him. “It’s like you’re a little kid again.”

“Luke used to love making forts,” Alex admits. “We would move all the furniture in his living room and make the absolute worst blanket forts you can imagine. Like seriously, it’s no wonder none of us went into architecture.”

“Really? I can totally see you as an architect”

“That’s…”

“I’m joking, hotdog,” Willie giggles, bumping their shoulder together. He has a tendency to raise his eyebrows when he’s amused; Alex finds it all too endearing. Accompanied with the way their eyes crinkle when the laugh and the soft candlelight leaking through the thin blankets and draping over his features, Alex thinks he’s having trouble breathing.

“I was drawing you, y’know,” Willie says softly after a few minutes of silence.

“Hmm?”

“The day we went stargazing, I was drawing you. You’re- you’re a good muse.”

“Oh.” Alex’s stomach flutters. “I uh… thank you.” He gives Willie a hesitant smile before turning to focus on the flickering light. His breath feels weighted, like every exhale means something, but he can’t quite pinpoint what. There’s a light breeze whistling through the crack in the door and Alex closes his eyes for a moment, pretending that it’s wrapping around him and holding him close. Alex didn’t get much affection as a child; his parents had always been very stiff. Sure, they loved him, but they weren’t that good at showing it aside from a rough shoulder squeeze and tight smiles so full of expectations. When he came out, even the snippets of affection faded; no more of his mother fixing his hair or giving him a quick kiss on the forehead when he was sick. Two months after his coming out, they just… kicked him out. He came home to find his belongings shoved carelessly into a trash bag or two and that was that. Luke more than made up for the lack of physical affection, but Alex knows that there will always be something missing.

Wide awake, Alex lets his head fall onto Willie’s shoulder. This time with care and attention, hesitancy. He hears Willie suck in a sharp breath but then the tension melts from their shoulders and fizzles into nothingness. For a moment, there is nothing but them and the pattering of rain against the windows.

“Lets go for a drive.”

Alex looks up expecting Willie’s usual carefree and impish grin, but he’s taken aback by his wistful expression and something bursts in Alex’s chest. Something that may be instinct and may be just an overwhelming surge of emotion.

“Okay.” His voice is barely a whisper, a single wisp of smoke snaking from a blown out candle.

The air is damp and the rain is coming down hard; Alex reaches a cautious hand out beyond the awning and winces at the downpour. But Willie is wiggling his stupid eyebrows in the way that makes Alex’s face heat and he can’t say no as Willie drags him through the wet grass, shrieking with laughter and going slower than necessary to relish in the water pouring down from the sky in torrents. They’re soaked to the bone and breathless, overflowing with mirth, by the time they reach Alex’s car and clamber into the seats. Right after a brief argument about who’s driving of course. (“You will not be touching my steering wheel with your grimy paint hands, William.” “Says you.”) So Alex is driving.

Willie has their hands pressed to the window, breath fogging up the glass and sending them into a fit of giggles every time. Alex switches on the radio and there’s a song playing that he recognizes but couldn’t sing along to; something soft and low, like lilting waves. Willie knows it though. And they’re singing. Oh. They’re singing. Alex almost has to pull the car to a stop and put his head in his hands because Willie never told him he could sing.

Willie’s voice is low and slightly raspy, but not in a bad way. Alex knows he’s heard this song before, but he’s 100% certain that this is his first time really hearing it. And it’s beautiful. Or maybe it’s just Willie. It’s probably just Willie.

Alex brings the car to a slow stop in the parking lot of an odd gas station that always seems to be closed. He doesn’t turn it off though, because he would rather die than have Willie stop singing. He leans his head back and breathes, certain he’s inhaling Willie’s voice. Willie’s voice which is like sparks on his skin, like smoke that crowds his lungs and opens his soul for the very first time. He feels a sense of mourning when the song stops and something else comes on, something peppier and sickeningly sweet. He switches the radio off.

“I didn’t know you could sing.” Alex isn’t even looking at them; he’s fiddling nervously with the strap of his fanny pack.

Willie smirks proudly. “You learn something new every day.”

“Yea.”

Willie traces a heart in the fog on the window and lets it sit there. Then he unbuckles his seat belt and pokes Alex’s shoulder. “Hey ‘Lex, come on.”

“No.” Alex shakes his head vigorously. “No. We’re already soaking wet and-”

“Hot dog.”

And damn it, the nickname may be so incredibly stupid but Alex has such a weird soft spot for it. He groans dramatically, making a point to wring out his hair, which is already mostly dry at this point. “You’re the worst. What if it starts thundering?”

Willie shrugs. “I have my noise cancelling headphones. And you can-” they cut themself off.

“I can what?”

“Nothing,” Willie squeaks. “Please. Please.”

So Alex climbs reluctantly from the car and stands in the parking lot looking far from amused. “You owe me.”

Willie laughs loudly, grabbing both of Alex’s hands and spinning him in an aimless circle, pulling them both into a dance to music that’s only in his head. They twirl Alex around several times, and Alex is certain that he’s going to actually fall over and faint. Willie raises his face to the sky and squints, letting the rain soak him without care. Alex is in awe and how open and free Willie is, like nothing can ever go wrong and if it does they’ll always be flying. He doesn’t realized they’ve stopped dancing until Willie turns to him with a curious expression. Their eyes rake over his face and Alex realizes he’s staring. But for once, he doesn’t look away. And for the first time, he sees the corner of Willie’s mouth quirk up and their eyes flick to his lips and even linger there for a brief second.

The rain doesn’t seem to have plans to stop anytime soon, and they’re both shivering and wet and Willie’s hair is dangling in front of his face. Alex reaches out and tucks it behind his ear, both of them holding a breath, waiting. It’s right there, right in front of him, and Alex is inches from just grasping it and clutching it to his chest. Willie takes a step forward so their faces are just inches from each other and Alex can feel their breath against his cheeks. He exhales shakily and raises one hand to cup Willie’s cheek, his touch feather light and afraid. Willie leans into the contact and grins upwards, their nose wrinkling fondly. He gives a silent nod and for the first time in years, Alex takes the plunge.

Their first kiss is soft and slow and Willie tastes like rain and green tea. Alex smiles against their lips, a breathy laugh escaping his own. He’d think this is a dream, but no section of his imagination could conjure something even a fragment as magical as this. They’re in the middle of a parking lot, cold and wet, and yet Alex feels the warmest he ever has. Alex is hesitant to pull away, but he does, just barely. Their foreheads stay resting against each other, like breaking apart would break them. Then it comes crashing into him. Alex just kissed Willie. He just kissed Willie. And Willie kissed him back! Holy shit!

“Wowza.” Wowza? What the fuck Alex?

Willie breaks into joyous laughter, throwing his head back and clutching Alex’s shoulders. And Alex laughs with him; he buries his face in the crook of Willie’s neck, his heart full to bursting. Wowza indeed.

---

notes: ...I did say I was thinking about a Willex rain kiss. I actually wrote like half of chapter 6 a while ago so I might be able to post it tomorrow.

chapter 6

taglist: @thatsanewflavor @spookiest-sapphic @dovesgrangers @julie-n-phantoms @frostknyte @thegaylink @nervousmiracletrash @crummycassidy @fairygclds @reallyintrospectivepeople @madsmax-37 @swamp-acad @kat-maybe-not @sunsetcurve123 @lookingthroughmirrors @queer-fandom-enby @over-under-through1 @willex-n-waffles @caliibee @stars-soph @herequeerandcantdrinkbeer @nickalicious @andwhenwepart @maizsnex @fanofthepod @heademptynothoughts @thunderstorm-symphony @julieandthephantomsandme @i-spit-on-fire

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #willex #willex fic #ytotbts #you're the one that brings the sun #willow writes #willie jatp #willie nolastname #willie wilbur williamson #alex mercer #julie molina #reggie peters #luke patterson #flynn jatp #flynn nolastname

96 notes · View notes

prince-claremont-diaz · 5 years ago

Text

Whatever We Become

Summary: In Lucas’ final year of high school before he has to face the real world, he comes across the new identical twins, Eliott and Leo. Needless to say, Lucas falls head over heels for both of them.

Or The twin au absolutely no one asked for

Warnings: brief implied suicidal ideation (at the very end of the chapter)

Ao3 version

AN// I’m so sorry for taking so long to post this, school has been extremely hectic lately and I stupidly kept forgetting to post this until it was the middle of the night

Chapter Seventeen: Running away

The next day during lunch, Lucas was sitting with the other boys when Leo Demaury walked in with Alex and another guy from their year Lucas didn't know the name of. Halfway through taking a sip of his water, Lucas promptly spat his drink all over the table as he choked, eyes widening like saucers. The other three boys all gave him equally shocked faces, trying to move their food out of the spray instinctively.

Yann patted Lucas on the back, raising an eyebrow at his friend as he spluttered and coughed, eyes still glued to the other side of the room. "You okay, man?" Yann asked, half amused and half concerned.

Lucas nodded distractedly, watching Leo walk across the cafeteria towards the lunch queue, heart in his stomach. Arthur looked over his shoulder to see what Lucas was looking at and then his whole face contorted into one of shock and sympathy. He turned back to Lucas, smiling sympathetically and patting his hand across the table.

Yann narrowed his eyes at Arthur's gesture, looking back and forth between the two boys. "Am I missing something here?" Yann asked, putting his knife and fork down and turning sideways to glance at Lucas. Basile watched the scene unfold, water cup halfway to his mouth.

"It's nothing, Yann. Don't worry about it," he mumbled, glancing up to see if Leo was leaving. Instead, he just caught Arthur's eye. He was surprised to find a rather disapproving stare from the normally carefree boy. He sighed, looking away from Arthur. "Fine. Something happened on my date with Eliott on Friday and I found out he's bipolar when Leo came to shout at me because I lost him. And Leo's back apparently but he skipped math first period," Lucas explained, speaking rapidly and stumbling over his words. "That's how I got this," he added, raising his bandaged hand.

Basile's eyebrows raised and he put his cup back down finally, beginning to cut up a bit of his chicken. "Eliott's bipolar?" he said, shoving a piece in his mouth. Lucas nodded. "So is my mum. It's not that bad, usually."

At Basile's sudden casual admittance, the other three boys froze, staring at him in surprise. "Seriously?" Lucas asked, eyes bulging.

Basile nodded. "Oh, yeah. Had it for years. She's actually just fun when she's manic. Once flew to meet Brad Pitt and broke into his house or something," he explained through a mouthful of food, "Almost set fire to our house another time. What did Eliott do?"

"He stole his dad's credit card to rent out a movie theatre and then tried to jump off a bridge."

"He rented out a whole movie theatre just for a date?" Lucas nodded, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. "Wow, that's awesome! I wish someone would do that for me," Basile exclaimed, splattering more food onto the table as he continued to eat like he hadn't seen food in decades. It was almost putting Lucas off eating.

"Bas, it's not 'awesome,' it's horrible! He could have gotten really hurt," Lucas chastised, scandalised.

"But he didn't."

"But he could have!"

Basile rolled his eyes, putting his cutlery down. "You can't just keep on worrying about the possibility of him getting hurt or you'll drive yourself mad. He didn't get hurt, so don't dwell on it," Basile stated. Lucas gaped at him, blinking. He exchanged confused glances with the other two.

"Did Basile just give good advice?" Arthur teased, sitting up straighter and nudging him in the side with a teasing glint in his eyes. "It must be the Second Coming or the end of the world!" Basile rolled his eyes, scowling. Arthur chuckled, shoulder checking his friend and almost knocking him out of his seat. As per usual, the two boys began full out attacking each other, pushing and shoving and swearing, gaining various looks from people at surrounding tables.

As they watched their friends fighting, Yann tapped Lucas' shoulder, pulling his eyes away to meet his dark brown ones, which were filled with concern still and—and surprisingly—a few tears. Lucas stared at him in confusion, eyebrows furrowed. In an instant, Yann pulled Lucas into another tight hug, knocking the wind out of him and patting him on the back. "Don't you dare go through something alone again, you hear me?" Yann whispered, voice short and breathless, choked up. Lucas nodded, his own eyes welling up with tears as he buried his face in his friend's shoulder. "That's what friends are for, you idiot," Yann added, making Lucas force out a broken laugh.

"I know. I'm sorry," Lucas whispered, holding his friend tighter, breathing shakily.

"Oi, get a room you two. You're both dating other people." Arthur's voice, humourous and light as always, broke the two boys out of their little bubble and they pulled apart. Lucas wiped a stray tear from his lashes using the back of his pointer finger and shared a knowing glance with Yann. He nudged Lucas playfully in the side and then, as if nothing had changed in the atmosphere, as if Leo wasn't staring daggers across the room, they both joined in on Arthur and Basile's meaningless chatter.

◇

That evening, while working on homework next to Manon at the coloc, Lucas felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Instantly, he dropped his pen and scrambled to pull his phone out to check who it was. Instead of Leo or even Eliott, however, a message from his mum was staring mockingly up at him, bordered by his lockscreen of him and Yann posing with a skateboard a while back.

Mama: Are you coming for dinner on Thursday?

As if he couldn't be any worse of a son, in the last few weeks of chaos, Lucas had completely forgotten about his mother's birthday.

Lucas: Of course. What time?

Mama: 17h?

Lucas: Sounds good. See you then

As he slid his phone back into his pocket, a feeling of disappointment at both himself and the universe settling on his shoulders, Manon sent him a curious glance, putting her own pen on the table. "Any news yet?" she asked, gesturing vaguely in the direction of his pockets. Since getting home that day, Lucas had confided in Manon more about the situation with Eliott.

Lucas shook his head. "Nope. It was actually a message from my mother," he replied, "I, uh, sorta forgot it's her birthday on Thursday. I'm a horrible son." He read over the message again and scrolled up some more to read other messages. All from his mother. Bible verses and confusing yet loving words. All left on read. Lucas sighed, putting his phone down on the table and burying his face in his hands, shaking his head at himself.

He felt Manon slipping an arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder blade where he was hunched over the table. "You're not a horrible son. It's not a crime to forget someone's birthday once." She rubbed her hand up and down his arm in a comforting manner, sending goosebumps all along his arm.

Lucas removed his face from his hands and sat back in his chair, facing Manon with a hopeless expression, tears in the corners of his eyes like glass pools. "But I am. I left her when she needed me most and I never replied to her texts because I never know what to say back," Lucas rambled, blinking back tears to keep the dam intact. "And now in all this mess I even forgot her birthday on top of that. Trust me, Manon, I'm a terrible son."

"Are you going to celebrate with her then?" she asked, clearly choosing to ignore his insistence for the time being. Lucas nodded, chewing on one of his thumb nails. "Then you can make it up to her then. Prove that you're not a horrible son and that you aren't going to run away anywhere." She squeezed his shoulders again, smiling and reaching up to swipe away a tear on his cheek. "You're not running away anywhere, are you?"

Lucas shook his head. "Definitely not. Not anymore."

◇

It was almost seven on Thursday and Lucas was standing on the front step of his old house, dressed in a simple white button down, blue jeans and a navy blazer, carrying a bouquet of lilies. Taking a deep breath, Lucas pressed his thumb on the doorbell.

After a few seconds, he heard the familiar click of the locks in the door and then the familiar smiling face of Colette, his mum's carer, appeared. "Lucas! Hello! Come on in, your mother is coming just now." She stepped aside, holding the door open to allow Lucas to step inside the warm house.

"Lucas?"

Looking up, a broad grin spread across Lucas' face as his mother made her way into the room, smiling fondly. She looked good, dressed in a simple navy v-neck dress and her blonde hair nicely styled to frame her face. She walked over to Lucas, arms open wide, pulling him into a hug. Lucas sighed, wrapping his arms around her and tucking his face in her shoulder, chest tight. He breathed in her familiar scent, allowing it to envelope him after months of lacking it. He missed having this.

"You brought flowers." Once Lucas pulled out of the hug, his mother gestured to the flowers by his side which were now dropping loose petals on the carpet from their embrace. Smiling, she took the flowers from Lucas and put them on the table by the front door to put in a vase later. "Let me get my purse and we can get going."

◇

The restaurant Lucas had picked was a quaint, family-owned Italian restaurant on the corner of a small, mostly empty street. It had a large bottle green awning overhanging various tables and chairs and was lit up by glittering fairy lights. Lucas' heart panged at the sight of the lights, but ignored it in favour of leading his mother inside the restaurant. Thankfully, there were only a few other people eating that night, the room filled with a pleasant hum of conversation and faint bubbling laughter.

The waiter standing to greet them was a handsome Italian-looking boy around Lucas' age, dressed in a white button down and black jeans, a green apron wrapped around his waist and his dark brown hair styled in a curly mess that fell into his eyes. "Welcome to Fratelli's! Have you got a reservation?" the boy asked, shooting Lucas and his mother a charming grin.

"Uh, yeah. It should be booked under Lallemant, I think," Lucas replied, returning the smile politely.

The boy scanned his clipboard in front of him for a moment and then looked back up at them, still grinning. "Here you are. If you'd please follow me." Lucas guided his mother through the maze of chairs and table by linking his arm with hers, occasionally turning to smile at her. Eventually, they reached a small booth laden with a small vase of scarlet flowers Lucas didn't recognise and a couple of off white candle sticks.

Once the waiter was gone, Lucas and his mother fell into a rather awkward silence, the atmosphere around them hesitant and unsure. It had been so long since they had been face to face that neither of them knew quite how to act around the other. Lucas swallowed anxiously, giving his mother another tight lipped smile.

"How have you been lately?" Lucas finally asked, not long after another waiter poured them both glasses of ice water and took their drink orders. He scanned the menu for something relatively affordable, glancing up as he waited for a reply.

"I'm doing much better now. Especially spending my birthday with you tonight," she replied cheerfully, lifting her glass to her lips and taking a long sip. "How are you, dear? How is school? Is there any girl in your life perhaps?" She turned the question back around on him, smiling expectantly at him.

Lucas cleared his throat, feeling a vein in his neck popping somewhere. He took his own gulp of the freezing water, stalling for time, grappling for a vague enough answer. "School is okay. Studying for the bac and going to parties with the guys sometimes," he replied, putting his drink down. "But uhh, no haven't got a, uh, girl in my life, no. I actually—"

Before he could finish, a waitress appeared by their table, dyed red hair tied in a high ponytail and clutching a small notepad. "Are you guys ready to order?" she asked, a broad, fake smile spread across her face. It didn't reach her eyes.

"Uh, I am. You?" Lucas glanced at his mother who replied with a short nod.

They ordered their food and finally, the waitress was wandering away, tucking her notebook into the back pocket of her jeans. As they fell back into silence, Lucas sent out a silent prayer to the universe, to any deities that may be out there, that his mother would be fine with changing the subject off of him and his potential love life.

Clearly, the universe had it out for him.

"What was it you were saying about girls, darling?" Mrs. Lallemant asked, raising her eyebrows to lead him on in his answer. It was then that Lucas recognised his own expression written on her face. Every reminder of just how similar they were pained Lucas to think about it. To think about how he'd left her.

Lucas drew a long breath, shutting his eyes briefly, on the brink once again. He was standing at the edge of a precipice, staring down at a seemingly endless abyss, no idea how far he was about to tumble. Lucas coughed, looking out across the precipice, grappling for the rights words like they were all that kept him from falling to his death. "Well, you see, the thing is… I haven't found a girl—well I don't want a girl because, well," he fumbled, face a furious crimson. He choked once again, wobbling, hand searching blindly for the glass of water to his right. "Because I'm gay."

"And I'm sorry if this ruins your birthday or if you never want to see me again, but yeah. I'm gay," he continued, voice picking up pace along with his heartbeat. His blood rushed in his ears deafeningly loud over the tinny of the restaurant. He had stepped off the edge and time was standing still.

Mrs. Lallemant's eyes softened further and she reached across the table, taking one of his hands, prying his fingers apart. He hadn't noticed how tightly he hand been gripping his hands into fists. "Lucas, my dear dear boy, from the moment I first saw you, I loved everything about you. Everything. I loved your bright beautiful blue eyes and your little giggles and those precious dimples," she said, hand tightening its grip, "I have loved you since the moment I first saw you and absolutely nothing could change that. If you are happiest with another boy, then I will be the happiest woman alive."

And just like that, Lucas landed. The fall he had expected turned into a leap upwards. Lucas squeezed his mother's hand, breathing shaky and tears welling up in his eyes. "You don't mind? Even though the Bible says—" he began, voice quaking.

Mrs. Lallemant cut him off, shaking her head. "I have no reason to judge you for who you are, for who you love, Lucas. I know God made you just as He wanted you to be because I know you. God wants you to be just the way you are and I have no right to change that." She leaned over the table carefully, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead that sent Lucas into a spiral. Just like that, as if her words or her simple affection had broken a dam, Lucas found himself sobbing in the middle of the restaurant. Great fat tears plummeted down his cheeks, relief settling in his chest so much he felt he could explode with it.

A throat cleared beside the table and when Lucas looked up, their waitress was back, carrying two plates of food and looking uncomfortable.

"What happened to your hand?" his mother asked once the waitress was gone and they were both tucking into their dinner. Lucas froze, knife scraping on the plate and making them both jump. He wiped the lingering dampness from his cheeks, sniffling.

"It's okay. I was being dumb. Something happened with a boy I like and I just got a little carried away with my emotions," he admitted, keeping his reply vague. He couldn't bring himself to say much else. Couldn't find it in himself to tell his mother about how he had hurt himself out of sheer frustration.

"You didn't hurt anyone, did you?" she asked. She sounded scared then. Lucas would do anything to keep her from feeling that way again.

Lucas shook his head insistently, grabbing her hand again. "No, mum, don't worry. I couldn't do that." he insisted.

"That boy you liked, does he make you happy? Is he worth getting yourself so hurt like that?"

Lucas thought. He put his cutlery on the plate and looked down at their hands linked across the table. "I would like to think so, yeah."

◇

A little while later, Lucas was in the midst of rambling to his mother about biology, halfway through their shared slice of tiramisu. The atmosphere was lighter than it had been in a long time. Even though he could tell his mother had no idea what he was talking about, was probably only half listening, Lucas felt overwhelmed by the fondness that seemed to drip from her every pore. It had been so long since Lucas had been with his mother and yet he felt like he had finally come home again, despite the initial awkwardness.

Lucas was about to ask his mother another question when he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket. He ignored it, beginning to ask his mother something before the phone buzzed once again. And again. And again. Lucas sighed, reaching into his back pocket. "I'm sorry, I should probably check this," he apologised, looking down at the screen.

Leo: hey lucas i know we didn't exactly leave off very well but have you seen eliott or know where he might be by any chance?

Leo: we only got back from picking him up a few hours ago and now he's disappeared

Leo: please please call me if you know where he is.

Lucas' eyes bulged out of his skull as he scanned over the messages once, twice, a third time. Eliott was missing again? Where had they been picking him up from? Where was he now? What happened? Why was Leo asking him?

Lucas opened up his conversation with Eliott, fingers shaking, causing him to mistype and retype a hundred times over.

Me: Eliott where are you? Leo said they can't find you. We're all worried.

With another shuddering breath, Lucas put his phone facedown on the table, looking back up at his mother. She was fixing him with a concerned look, head tilted to the side and eyes soft. He felt thoroughly exposed for no reason.

"Is everything alright? You look suddenly worried," his mother asked, taking his hand once again, a sympathetic, soft smile on her lips now.

Before he could reply, he was cut off once again by the buzzing of his phone on the table. He gave his mum an apologetic smile and grabbed the phone, unlocking it faster than he ever had before.

Eliott: Dear Lucas, I want to first say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I scared you the other day and for not telling you sooner. Leo told me you know now. I'm sorry I can't be enough for you. You deserve so much more than me. You deserve the whole world. I'm sorry for this most of all. But I deserve this instead. I definitely do not deserve you, Lucas. In this world I have always been alone and I always will be. I wish I didn't have to leave you but I never want to take you where I'm going. So instead I leave you with this.

Eliott: Lucas, from the moment I saw you I knew you were it for me. My whole life was just waiting for you. I'm happy for the short time we've had together. I hope in all the other universes that we can be together, that I can be enough for you. I'm sorry.

Below the last message was a picture of a drawing. A two piece cartoon. On one half, a raccoon and a hedgehog embraced in the light of a street lamp. On the other half, the raccoon sat alone, ears down and scowling, the light facing away from him. Underneath in Eliott's familiar scrawl it read: Eliott number 3798 has the courage

Lucas' phone slid from his hand, bouncing onto the floor with a faint crack, landing face down on the carpeted floor. And then Lucas' whole world crashed into the sun.

#skam france #elu #elu fic #eliott demaury #lucas lallament #next chapter probably coming sometime later this week as i'm finally on a break

14 notes · View notes