#there is the occasional good looking nfl guy also. it must be said.

[muirneach]

i like when tennis fans say ‘omg he looks so good in this [offcourt] outfit’ and then he never does

[zukofenty]

FWU

➜ Summary: The one where Katara (is sure) she's in love with the campus drug dealer. 

“Sokka, I swear! He’s not a drug dealer...he’s just an unlicensed pharmacist!” 

➜ Genre: Modern!AU, humor, DrugDealer!Zuko

➜ Words: 2.5k 

➜ Warnings: I will fight Katara for DrugDealer!Zuko 😩

AO3 

“We got the goods!” Katara squeals, throwing down flour, sugar, chocolate chips, and a sack of marijuana. 

Suki picks it up, sniffing the plastic bag. “This shit is loud and clear.” Her smile is dangerously devious. “Thanks, Zuko! This is going to be the best 4/20 ever!” Suki immediately begins to grab the proffered ingredients, shuffling them to the kitchen. She’s already taking some of the buds and putting them on a tray to prep in the oven. “Who knew fingering a drug dealer’s asshole would come in handy?” 

  Zuko immediately turns beet red. “Why do you keep telling people that happened?” Katara slaps Suki upside the head. 

  “Because I like seeing the two of you squirm, sue me!” Suki admits, shrugging her shoulders and dodging Toph’s slap to her ass. 

  Katara collapses on her futon, positively spent after spending the day helping Zuko drop off sacks for his clients, while buying all the ingredients they needed for baking edibles to celebrate the holiday.

  // 

  “Zuko, what the fuck are you doing!” Katara screams, almost losing grip of the wheel. 

  “How about you make sure your fucking Prius doesn’t eat shit?” Zuko screeches, coming back to his seat after sticking his entire body out the hybrid car. 

  Katara smacks her forehead. The pain where she hit is almost as bad as the frustration she feels. “This is the exact fucking reason I never get Chipotle with you!” She sees the car that was formerly beside her pulled over at the side of the freeway, the driver clearly angry with how hard he was pounding the pavement with his fist. His entire body is covered in Zuko’s half chicken half barbacoa burrito bowl. 

  “I’m not going to lie, that was impressive. The NFL’s vag must be positively pulsating,” Katara deadpans, rubbing at her temples to relieve the pressure from forming. Sokka always said her road rage was the worst he’s ever seen, but alas her shouting and occasionally flipping people off could never compare to Zuko’s hotheadedness. Her gut feeling about grabbing an extra bowl paid off, much to her dismay. This was not a rare occurrence. “How did you manage to throw your entire bowl through the crack of his window?” 

  “Well, the NFL can go eat a dick!” Zuko says, wiping his hands on a Chipotle napkin before taking a sip from his water cup filled to the brim with their lemonade. “And the shit dick had it coming.” He did, Zuko swears. It’s completely his fault for not only playing Michael Buble as loud as his Honda Accord was capable of, but also refusing to use his turn signal, and then screaming “fuck you, pussy hoe!” when Katara honked at him. That bitch. 

  “Right. Anyways, I’m recalling a conversation we had I think...yes! Two days ago. You’re still thinking about going to therapy, right? You’re moving on from your designated therapy toad?” 

  Zuko fully turns to face Katara. He accidentally bumps his head on the roof, and proceeds to smack it. “First of all, what makes you say that? Second of all, you know Frank has a name!” 

  “Not your anger issues, of course.” She doesn’t miss his eye roll. “Also, when you gave me your phone so I could text your uncle that you were going to pick him up, I went through your Youtube search history. Because I care. You deserve better than boxed hair dye tutorials, Zuko. I know you can do better.” At the red light, she grabs Zuko’s shoulder in an almost caring manner. He slaps her tiny hand away. 

  //

  Zuko was certain he was spending this 4/20 positively baked , so while he waited for everyone to wash their hands so they could whip up his favorite Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies edibles (with a gooey marshmallow middle), he took out his grinder from his hoodie’s pocket. 

  He grabs at the Sailor Moon bong he bought Katara for the one month anniversary of the time she saved him from being beaten to death by a group of frat brothers. She didn’t nearly like using marijuana as much her friends did, insisting on her maintaining her brain and lung health. She’d never admit to enjoying the cannabliss that came with huffing and puffing out some Mary Jane, but Zuko knows her sleepy smile after taking a hit lets her sleep just the slightest bit better. 

  Especially now that she’s working nonstop to pay off her tuition this semester. While Sokka was efficiently loaded, his record label was going through a rough patch after a scandal with one of their artists. Apparently, having viral toe sucking videos reflected badly on you as a person, and a number of investors pulled out after the news broke. Sokka was dipping into emergency savings, about to sell the Bugatti, but Katara insisted on taking on a few part time jobs. It breaks Zuko’s heart when he’s the first one to come home to her apartment, even after doing his runs for the night. She’s always blearly, insisting on taking a “quick nap” before she takes off her makeup. He likes feeling useful, when she instantly falls asleep and he’s the one using Micellar Water and a cotton pad to rub off her stubborn mascara of the day. 

  “I will literally curb stomp the Dean for you,” Zuko tells her, the fire behind his words that makes Katara doubt it was a passing joke. 

  “Zuko. No.” 

  He remembers being woken up in the middle of the night, Katara whispering into her phone. He invested in the Sailor Moon pipe after he found out she could only sleep a few hours, before being woken up abruptly from the stress weighing on her mind (her dark circles betrayed her).  “I started seeing someone,” Katara mutters, checking over her shoulder to see if Zuko was still sound asleep. She started wincing at the palpable silence that followed. 

  “As in dating or hallucinations?” Sokka questions, much too loud for her taste. 

  She sighs. “Don’t get like this! He’s a good guy, I promise. His name’s Zuko.” She hears shuffling on the other side of the line, after the prominent thunk of the phone dropping. “Why does that name sound so familiar? And so colonizer-like…” His voice is filled with suspicion, and she could almost see the cogs in his brain whirring to life. Before she could utter another word, her brother abruptly yelps. “Isn’t he the drug dealer who got beat up on campus?” 

  Katara sucks in a breath. “How do you know about that?” 

  “I read the Campus Crime Alert emails the school sends out, idiot! For such an expensive school, you would think they would have better security and less laptop snatchings. By the way, we need to buy you a laptop lock. You still have that self defense knife I sent you?” Sokka angrily whispers in the phone, mocking Katara’s quiet tone. 

  “Yes, dad !” She hears his irate protests as she flips her body to face Zuko. He looks a few years younger when he sleeps, breathing even and face forgetting the patented scowl. His bare chest and sweatpants hanging low on his hips were enticing. His hair was almost perfectly positioned, the strands messy and unruly but just screamed Zuko . The dangly cross earring doing too much to her heart. Down girl, down! Katara tells her pussy. “Sokka, I swear! He’s not a drug dealer...he’s just an unlicensed pharmacist!” 

  “I have the email right here! Right here! And tell me what about ‘student being violently attacked due to drug related incidents ’ doesn’t scream drug dealer getting beat up for drug dealing !” Katara bites down on her tongue, whether to hold back a laugh or scream she wasn’t completely sure. 

  Suki takes a hit from her Hello Kitty dab pen, a white, bedazzled one that Zuko had gotten her. Toph and Katara also had matching Hello Kitty dab pens, in green and blue respectively. She thinks Zuko has one in red, too. She added a second layer of soy lecithin to the weed infused mixture, before popping it in the oven again for another 30 mins. 

  In the meantime, Katara was preparing the ingredients for the cookies. Zuko’s laying on the ground, narrowly missing the futon, eyes glazed over. He hasn’t moved in the past twenty minutes. “Katara, that isn’t the hand mixer, that’s your vibrator .” Suko gently chastises, moving the device from her lax hands. Katara always complained her hands were numb when she was high, and once dropped a mug from their balcony after they packed a bowl together for the first time. Suki is still bitter. It was her favorite Gudetama mug. 

  After freezing the mixture for two hours, Suki, Toph, and Zuko were hard at work, mixing ingredients, and preparing to get fucked up. A few people have stopped by the apartment to exchange plastic bags for cash. 

  “Are you turning Katara’s apartment into a dispensary? ” Toph is absolutely incredulous. 

  “That’s a loaded question with an answer very much open to interpretation…” Zuko ducks the house slipper Toph propels to his face.  

  Katara has a dumb smile on her face, wide and threatening to split her head open. She’s an avid texter when she’s baked.  

 **

Katara: What are you doing right now? Come over! Zuko’s got apology weed for you <3

  Jet: I’m at McDonald’s!! Kinda of high lol 

  Katara: Ooo you got the munchies? 

  Jet: Nah 

  Katara: how come? 

  Jet: I smoke meth lmaoooo

**

  “Who are you texting?” Zuko asks, plopping next to her spot on the floor. She’s sprawled out, hair every which way and tangling into already unruly knots he’s going to have to detangle in the morning for her. Because Katara’s a lightweight, and suffers from weed hangovers regularly. Zuko’s already recovered from his many hits at the Moon Stick pipe. 

  “Did you know Jet smokes meth?” 

  Zuko rolls his eyes, curling up and trapping Katara with his outstretched embrace. “I really thought he would like my I’m sorry weed.” 

  “Me too.” He kisses the pout off of her.  

  Katara steadily crawls up (Zuko doesn’t miss her sleep shorts riding up) and tries her best to help Toph mix the marshmallow and Cinnamon Toast crunch mixture being heated up in their big pot they stole from Katara’s neighbor. 

  When Katara grabs the hand mixer to try assisting the cookie batter, Zuko knew he had to intervene lest something explodes. She smiles when he surrounds her with his body, the warm weight of his chest against her back and his hand wrapping around hers on the mixing device. 

  He loves her, he’s sure. Even while they roll the cookies together she tries to be funny (when she clearly knows she isn’t) and throws the dough at him, and it lands in his hair. He’s sure she peed herself with how hard she was laughing and scrambling to find the bathroom when her eyes could barely open. 

  Zuko shuts down his phone when the sweet scent of the pastries flood his nostrils. Even if 4/20 is like his version of Christmas, he’s determined to spend it with his girl. “I think my pussy just gave out. That shit looks dank ,” Katara squeals, shaking Toph by the shoulders to emphasize her point. 

  “Thanks for the visual,” Toph says, looking devious and wholly prepared to get stoned. 

  //

  “I could beat his ass if I needed to,” Katara loudly whispers in Suki’s ear. At this point, they were all laying down on the floor, the familiar tingle of an impending high at the forefront of their minds. 

  “Katara, you’re staring at a poster of 11 year old Frankie Muniz.” Suki shakes the girl off her. “Why do you always say that about any guy you see, sober or not?” 

  Zuko’s the most sober of them all, but based on the fact he killed a few joints on his own, he thinks he’s about to die. Toph’s on the balcony, weary of the smoke detector. She comes back in after repeatedly coughing, pounding at her chest to lessen the pain. She promptly lays on the floor with the rest of them, stupidly smiling. 

  Zuko sits, leaning on the futon for support. He pulls Katara into his lap, and she’s pliant, immediately melting in his hold. Hands coming out to wrap around his neck. “Check your school portal,” he says into her ear. She laughs at the sensation. 

  “Why?” She’s breathless, when he rubs comforting circles into her back. Zuko finds her phone, thrown carelessly on the futon, before gingerly handing it to her. After she types in the login information, she gasps, the sound reverberating through the room. Zuko blushes, and rubs the back of his neck gingerly. 

  “Happy 4/20, baby,” he presses a sweet kiss to her hair, wiping away the pricks of tears appearing at her eyes. 

  “ You’re lying !” She couldn’t believe her eyes, and thinks she’s a little dizzy from how many times she zooms in and out of the tuition financial statement. “You’re fucking lying!” The bill, formerly with a nauseating number of zeros was now only $0.00. “How?” she splutters, even spitting in her haste. 

  “Toph knew your portal login, so I just kind of...paid it off?” He’s doing the thing where he’s rubbing at his neck and looking shy, and so so positively adorable . The sheepish look he gives her makes it known that she was screwed . So absolutely in love. “I want you to not worry about it. Save the money from your job for something else.” The kiss she slams against his lips nearly knocks his breath away. 

  //

  “So what’s your plan, after paying all this off?” Zuko remembered Toph asking, after she entered Katara's password. 

  “After this, she’s catching all this ball juice. Going to suck her eggs out her ovaries like it’s boba. I’ll even use the straw and everything,” Zuko says, entering the pin of his debit card. 

  “You know what. She should have let you die that night.” 

  //

  “Who knew there would be perks to dating a drug dealer?” Toph teases.  “Girls be so single and then boom ! Baby shower pictures with some drug dealer in a Burberry shirt and Nike Air Maxes.”

  Suki groans. “Toph, I swear. You are a hindrance to society.” 

  “Well, you’re a cunt!” 

  She shoves the smaller girl. She gets up to face Katara, still staring at her phone in shock. Her hair is a bird’s nest after growing two sizes two large and painfully matted.  “You know, we thought we were bad friends for letting you date a drug dealer with mommy and daddy issues. We just sat there and prayed that our ‘we’re so happy for you guys!’ was convincing. But, I kind of like him.” 

  “Thanks for the support,” Zuko grumbles. 

  “Anytime!” The two say, perfectly synchronized.

  “Like MJ doctor, they killing me,” Zuko sighs, dropping his head in the crook of her neck, defeated. Katara’s heart nearly bursts because he’s so cute . A big bad drug dealer, but she still was squeezing at his cheeks like they were mochi, and he was dumbly smiling back. 

  “Why do you always quote Nicki Minaj lyrics when you’re high?” She thinks she can’t feel her face, the excessive smiling numbing her features. 

  He’s bombed, stomach growling from getting the munchies and devouring an entire box of Suki’s Wheat Thins cereal and he thinks he feels his heart about to explode. Whether it’s Katara’s sweet, sweet smile, or her body pressing to his, he’s not sure. She’s soft and perfect and everything he could have asked for. He’s sure he’s in love, the type of love that was dangerous and stupid and promised to consume him whole. Yet, he’s all but offered his heart on a silver platter to Katara. Her presence in his life was a constant he was willing to fight to keep. 

  “I love you,” he mumbles against her lips.

  “I know.” She stares into his eyes, before grabbing his hand. “I love you more.” 

  “Impossible.” 

  She pokes his chest in protest. 

  “Say it again, please?” Zuko begs, voice whiny. Her kiss was an adequate confirmation of the sentiment.  

[allthoserandomthings]

Eyes on Me

“Our guest for today, Chris Evans!”

Ellen welcomed Chris into the studio. The audience’s warm applause made him break out in a big smile. He jogged the last few steps and gave Ellen a hug and a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.

“So, Chris...since this isn’t your first time on the show, let’s skip all the pleasantries.”

Chris laughed along with the audience his right hand resting on his chest.

“Sure, I’m cool with that.”

“Last week, a picture of you was taken and it went viral.”

“It did.” His eyebrows raising while nodding his head.

“Uh-huh. Short answer. Let’s see the picture then.”

The audience clapped when the picture was shown on the studio screen. It was a picture of Chris wearing a suit partnered with a baseball cap as if wearing it will disguise him completely. His left arm was wrapped around the shoulders of a young woman wearing a knee-length dress and wearing a matching Red Sox baseball cap. They were seated at the rear of an SUV while eating burgers. 

“As you know, Chris, no one really cares about you in this. It’s her we’re all curious about.”

“I know. That’s the funny thing. Before, everyone will mention the suit or the beard. Now, no one cares anymore.”

Someone in the audience screamed that they still cared to the delight of everyone in the studio.

“Thanks, man. Nice to see I still have fans,” he joked.

“Chris, you need to focus here. This isn’t Marvel so you can’t use the excuse of secrecy anymore.”

“Okay, what do you wanna know?”

“Who is this pretty lady that you seem to be smitten about?”

“You know the answer to that already.” The audience was still very buzzed and excited to finally get an answer to the week-long Hollywood scoop. 

“Yes, but we would still like to hear it from you.”

‘That lovely girl in the picture is Y/N and we’ve been together for a year.” The audience members were shrieking now that they finally got confirmation of the girl’s identity as well as shock from how long Chris managed to hide her from the press.

“Congratulations, now tell us more about this picture. That seems like an odd outfit to eat hamburgers in.”

“It is interesting. I’ll give you that.”

--- one week ago ---

“Chris, what if I mess up?” you sniffed and placed the phone between your right shoulder and ear, your hands shuffling through the papers that are giving you so much anxiety.

“Y/N, listen to me. You are great at this. You give better speeches than the President.”

“That’s not exactly a high bar, Evans.” Still, the compliment managed to bring a small smile to your lips.

“Well, babe. You know what I mean.” he sighed. “I wish I was there to watch and support you.”

“The press is going to be here, Chris. You can’t be seen supporting some random girl.”

“You’re not just a random girl. You’re my random girl,” he whined.

“I am your random girl. Don’t forget that when you flirt with all the pretty ladies at RDJ’s book launch.” You teased, knowing full well he only has eyes for you.

“I wouldn’t even dream of it. Babe, don’t forget to eat. I know you’re anxious but you practiced so much you can recite this in your sleep.”

“Thanks, Chris. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“See you tomorrow. I love you more.” Knowing he won’t stop unless he gets to say he loves you even more, you just smiled and ended the call.

Tonight is the fundraising charity event for California high school students that excel in STEM. As the new head of Caltech’s Applied Physics Department, you are tasked to give the final speech about the importance of science in the modern world as well as the direction of the department in the next five years. 

“Well, here goes nothing.” 

You hear your voice being called and you stepped on stage. In front of you, hundreds of millionaire patrons that support education are watching your every move.

You went through your speech magnificently. You managed to pause at all the right times emphasizing the parts of your speech you wanted to highlight. You also managed to just occasionally glance at your notes. Stepping away from the podium amid the applause of all the guests put a smile on your face.

You reached for your phone and sent a thumbs-up emoji to Chris before mingling among the guests that are all excited to talk to you.

Your phone vibrated and a quick glance down showed a message from Chris.

Pick you up in 30? I got food. 

Chris knows that you couldn’t eat when anxious and seeing him care this much made your heart skip a beat over how caring he is towards you.

See you. 

You managed to speak to a couple more people before proceeding towards the hotel entrance waiting for his car to arrive.

“Taxi miss?” the doorman asked.

“No, I’m waiting for someone - oh, here he is.”

The doorman opened the passenger door for you, showing not even a hint of surprise when he saw who was driving the car that picked you up.

“I got burgers and fries in the back from your favorite place and it’s a full moon tonight so let’s go eat at the pier.”

“Did you just ran away from RDJ’s book launch?” you asked. Reaching for the fries, you popped a few into your mouth and then gave a couple to Chris.

“Nah. He kicked me out. Said I was too distracted and looking at my phone. He wants to meet you personally soon. They have a livestream of the event, by the way. You did phenomenally.”

When you arrived at the pier, he reached for the baseball caps in the dash and plopped one to each of your heads. You both went down and sat at the rear of the SUV eating your burgers while staring at the full moon.

--- Present Day ---

“And, apparently, I was followed by the paparazzi.” Chris ended his story.

“They must have been surprised. They thought they were just getting eating habits scoop on Captain America but they landed a hit with your girlfriend.”

“I mean..even we were surprised with how long we managed to keep this a secret. I don’t really care if it gets out but please give her some space, she’s not used to having a camera shoved into her face. “

“Maybe you should give her some shield training just in case paparazzi ambush her.”

“I should...that’s a great idea. It would be fun to watch it happen too.”

“Now, can you tell us how you two met.”

“Well, when I first saw her or when we officially met?”

“They’re not the same? Well, obviously, we want both now.”

--- 2 years ago ---

Chris sat in the private corner of the newly opened Japanese Fusion restaurant. So far, no one has recognized him yet and disturbed his meal. He was with his friends celebrating the birth of one of his friends’ daughter.

A piano sat in the middle of the room. A Japanese guy was playing and singing songs he’s never heard of before but he liked it and thought it went with the feel of the place. The piano man informed the patrons that he was taking a thirty-minute break and welcomed anyone to use the piano during that time.

In the corner of Chris’ eyes, he saw a big group of people egging on a young woman to play the piano. She finally relented and sat at the recently vacated piano bench.

“I would like to congratulate my good friends, Dexter and Keiko, on their engagement. This song is for them,” the lady said. Some of those near the table of the group congratulating the newly engaged couple.

“Eyes on You by Faye Wong.” The lady said as an intro before hitting the piano keys.

Whenever sang my songs On the stage, on my own Whenever said my words Wishing they would be heard

Chris stopped listening to his friends and focused all his attention on the person singing. Her soft voice was definitely giving justice to the lyrics of the song.

I kind of liked it your way How you shyly placed your eyes on me Oh, did you ever know? That I had mine on you

It was at that moment that the woman looked up and her gaze fell straight ahead at Chris whose blue eyes were looking back at her. She smiled at him though there seems to be no sign in her eyes that she recognized Chris. Their actions gradually mimicking the song, she continued to sing.

Darling, so share with me Your love if you have enough your tears if you're holding back Or pain if that's what it is How can I let you know I'm more than the dress and the voice Just reach me out then You will know that you're not dreaming

“Thank you,” she said into the microphone. She cast one last glance at him before going back to her group of friends. Chris noticed a dark-haired man who was obviously very buzzed, aggressively grabbing the woman’s waist. The man placed a quick kiss on the woman’s lips and returned to eating.

‘She’s taken then, too bad.’

“Hey, Chris, man? You listening to us or are you going to stare at that girl all day? Just go ask her out if you like her.” One of his friends had apparently noticed his fascination with the singer.

“Nah. It looks like she came with someone. You guys want to order dessert?”

--- Present Day ---

“Was that guy her boyfriend?” Ellen asked Chris.

“I mean, yeah. She was seeing the guy but it kind of didn’t work out for them. Thankfully.” He raised both hands and made a thumbs-up sign while smiling widely.

“Yeah. We can see how that worked out very well in your favor. Now, would you tell us when you two formally met each other?”

--- 1 ½ year ago ---

You have been invited by a friend to watch the 49ers vs Rams game, the only problem is you know nothing about American football despite being American. You actually prefer to watch the English Premier League. Currently, your team, Tottenham, is playing against Liverpool. Instead of watching the NFL, you were glued to your phone watching your team defend their 1-0 lead during stoppage time.

“Finding the game boring?” You look up to see a handsome bearded brunette wearing a black sweater and shades sitting in the previously empty seat next to you.

“Actually, this is more my thing,” you said while raising your phone still showing the EPL game. “I don’t really understand American Football. I just got dragged today. I already feel bad for wasting space here at the suite. ”

“You’re English?” the guy asked again. Clearly, he was perplexed how an American can be so clueless about his beloved sport.

“Well, if that will get you off my case, then sure, I can be English,”  you retorted jokingly.

“Hey, I’m not judging. I’m just saying this is football.  Although, the 49ers and Rams are kind of weak compared to the Patriots. There is this team called the Patriots. They’re the greatest team in the history of the NFL.  And Tom Brady…that man is a god.” He continued to recite the achievements of his team off the top of his head. You tried to listen politely, nodding every couple of words but your eyes were still focused on the game until the very last second.

“Yes! We won. Take that Liverpool.” You punched the air with your free hand.

Your seatmate looked at you like he was betrayed, “I thought you were listening to me. “

“I was. I’m good at multitasking. See, my game just ended. Full attention on you now. But, who are you again?” you finally asked just realizing that the guy didn’t even introduce himself.

“I’m Chris…Chris Evans.” he held out his right hand and removed his shades.

“Oh, nice to meet you. I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Now, your name sounds familiar. Your face too, I think I’ve seen you somewhere before.” You shook his outstretched hand while still combing through your thoughts on where you’ve seen him. Finally, it clicked.

“Oh, are you the one who plays Captain America? You look different with a beard.”

“I am,” Chris said with a small smile on his face.

“Oh, wow. I love your movies. Captain America is nice but I love sci-fi movies. I’m a scientist you see so Sunshine and Snowpiercer are my favorites.”

“You’re a scientist?” he asked. His eyes focused on yours. Usually, not a lot of people, let alone celebrities care about your job.

“Yes. I do research at the JPL, and I have some teaching load at Caltech. But, I must be boring you. We can talk about the game now.”

“No, no. I am actually very interested in you, uh, I mean at what you do.” He stammered, blushing at the slip-up.

You laughed not realizing that he really was serious with both of the things he said. You explained to him what your job entails and how it feels like to work at JPL. You also talked about teaching at Caltech and all your smart students who are almost the same age as you which makes you feel weird. In return, you found out that his relatives are also teachers and he has a deep love for space. He also prefers doing small studio movies but the MCU movies provided him a certain set of advantages that the indie movies won’t be able to.

Your conversation flowed effortlessly as the game progressed. He would sometimes stop and point out certain parts of the game and explain it to you patiently. All the while, he can’t help but compare the two teams playing now to his New England Patriots. The game ended in favor of the Rams.

“Y/N, would you like to watch a Patriots game with me? They play the Rams next. I promise I’ll explain all the great plays that Tom Brady will orchestrate.” He looked at your eyes pleadingly. His right hand was clutching your left tightly.

You didn’t have to think twice to agree, “I’d love to, Chris.”

--- Present Day ---

“Did she know it was you from the restaurant?” Ellen asked. The audience also exclaimed, eager to know the answer.

“Not at all. I had to remind her later that we saw each other first at that place.”

“You must have sounded like a stalker,” Ellen joked to Chris. Chris laughed grabbing his left chest, almost falling out of his chair.”

“You have no idea. Anyway, that was the story of how I converted a Californian to a Patriots fan. Yeah! Oh, and along the way, I got a girlfriend.”

“Well, that’s a nice way to put it, Chris, let’s see how your girlfriend will react. Everyone, please welcome our surprise guest, Y/N.”

The studio erupted into loud cheers and applause. Some of the people watching even stood up to see well. Chris had his jaw open, surprised that you would agree to do something like this. He turned around in his chair and watched you come out from backstage. Chris seemed to have gotten out of his shock since he stood up and walked towards you. He enveloped you in a big hug which caused the cheers to go even louder.

“Babe, you okay doing this?” he was still hugging you. His back was to the audience and camera so they wouldn’t see you talking.

“I’ll get used to it.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You squeezed him tight before letting go of the hug, which would also go viral the following day. Hand in hand, you walked towards Ellen.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, our lovely couple, Chris and Y/N!”

[patriotsnet]

How Many Registered Republicans In Alabama

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-registered-republicans-in-alabama/

How Many Registered Republicans In Alabama

Most Democratic And Republicancounties In Alabama

In Battleground States, Newly Registered Democrats Are Outnumbering Newly Registered Republicans

Which Alabama counties have the most Democrats and which has the most Republicans?

It turns out even the Reddest of Red states has a drop of Blue.

24/7 Wall Street;recently used voting data and a review of current and historical representation in Congress to determine the political leanings counties across the country. That index was then used to determine the most Democratic – and most Republican – counties in each state.

Alabama is a solid Republican state but the analysis found pockets of Democratic support. For example, in 2012, 61 percent of Alabama voters opted for Republican candidate Mitt Romney, one of the highest shares the losing candidate received from any state. In Greene County, however, 85 percent of the voters cast their ballot for President Obama. What’s more, Greene County helped send a Democrat to the U.S. House of Representatives in each of the last five Congressional elections.

That’s enough to make Greene County the most Democratic county in Alabama.

And what about the most Republican County? There is a lot of competition for that title but the recognition goes to Blount county, according to;24/7 Wall Street. In 2012, more than 86 percent of voters cast their ballot for GOP nominee Romney, the highest share of any county in Alabama. Also, county residents are represented in the House by the 4th and 6th Congressional Districts, both of which are held by Republicans.

Welcome to Tuesday’s Wake Up Call. Let’s see what’s going on:

How Many Democrats How Many Republicans

I want to follow up on my last post regarding how variations in poll results are often due to differences in how pollsters construct their samples. The previous post talked primarily about whether pollsters were sampling likely or registered voters. Obama, I suggested, polled better among registered voters. ;Today I want to look at another decision pollsters must make: whether to weight their sample by party identification and, if so, what weights to use. We know that whether one considers oneself a Democrat or a Republican is the biggest single determinant of how someone will vote. Not surprisingly, people tend to vote for the candidate who shares their party identification. So a poll that includes 40% Democrats in its sample is likely to have more favorable results for Obama than one that includes 35% Democrats, all other things being equal. Ditto for McCain and variations in the number of Republicans sampled.

To see how this makes a difference, consider two ;respected national polls that came out yesterday. CBS/NY Times came out with their monthly national poll that has Obama up 49-44, with 6 undecided.

Rasmussen, meanwhile, has the race tied, 48-48% in its latest tracking poll.

I show you these numbers to give you an idea of what it means to weight by party.; But why does it matter? Compare the CBS weighting to what Rasmussen calculates when they weight by party.

Are You Surrounded By Democrats Or Republicans How Jersey Breaks Red And Blue In All 21 Counties

Here is a county-by-county breakdown of which political party rules in each of New Jerseys 21 counties and how much each party gained since this time last year.

New Jersey is a Democratic-leaning state, and its getting bluer by the month.

Democrats have registered voters at a faster pace than Republicans in the Garden State. But the GOP still maintains pockets of control in some counties.

Republicans are outnumbered by registered Democrats by nearly 1 million people , according to the latest statistics from the states Division of Elections. As of the end of September, New Jersey had 2,307,937 registered Democrats and 1,331,102 Republicans.

Over the past year, Democrats added more than double the number of registered voters compared to the GOP , according to the data.

However, registered Republicans outnumber Democrats in six of the states 21 counties, and there are a few other counties that are pretty evenly split. Also, Republicans out registered the number of new Democrats in six counties from this time last year, including in three counties where the number of Ds outweigh the Rs.

The largest number of New Jersey voters 2,378,040 to be exact have not formally claimed any party affiliation.

Twelve years ago, Democrats had a 290,000 vote plurality over registered Republicans statewide, said Ben Dworkin, director of Rowan Universitys Institute for Public Policy and Citizenship.

Also Check: Do Republicans Want To Cut Social Security And Medicare

Super Bowl Conservatives: Nfl Players Who Lean Right

While liberals might dominate the big screen, the sports world is another story. Unlike actors, almost every great quarterback favors Republicans.

Knowing how cozy last nights Superbowl quarterback Tom Brady is with President Donald Trump, you probably think Im talking about him.; After all, Brady has;publicly said;he and President Donald Trump have been friends for a long time , he has played golf with Trump many times, they have phoned each other many times, and he said in 2015 he hoped Trump would be elected president.

But Im NOT talking about Brady, not specifically. Im talking about the best quarterbacks in NFL history, an amazingly high percentage of whom are identifiably conservatives.

Who ranks among the Top 10 quarterbacks of all time?

Brady definitely does. So does Joe Montana, the best quarterback ever in the opinion of many experts until Brady and Peyton Manning came along. Brett Favre, who held most of the NFL career records before Manning broke them, is also considered among the top 10. So is Dan Marino, who held most of the career records before Favre broke them. You can also make a good argument for Fran Tarkenton, who held most of the career records before Marino broke them.

Ive just named nine of the approximately top 14 quarterbacks in NFL history. ALL of them are also openly Republican.

Future Political Leaders?

Listed alphabetically, the conservative quarterbacks are:

Joe Montana: Montana is a longtime GOP donor.

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Post Office Republicans And The Goldwater Landslide

Following the end of the populist era, Republicans effectively competed in even fewer isolated hill counties, mostly in north Alabama. While the Reconstruction period saw their strongest voting base in the black belt counties, Republicans also relied on many north Alabama counties that had never been strong proponents of the instutition of slavery. They garnered support from a coalition of small farmers, blacks, labor, prohibitionists, labor, etc. Again, these were often voters primarily from counties across the northern width of the state like Lawrence, Blount, Cullman, Walker, Winston, and DeKalb counties. Many of these counties elected Republicans to local office or occasionally to the state legislature even as late as the 1920s. However, only;Winston County;reliably elected Republicans to almost all offices as the county had attempted to succeed from Alabama during the Civil War and has always been considered ancestrally Republican. During this period the Republican Party relied heavily on federal patronage with federal appointments during Republican administration in Washington for such offices as local Postmasters.

Read Also: Why Did Radical Republicans Impeach Johnson

Republican Party In Alabama

Jeff Frederick, University of North Carolina at PembrokeCivil WarAlabamaReconstructionslavesUnionistsDemocraticWorld War IIWilliam Hugh SmithgovernorDavid P. LewisGuy HuntDon SiegelmanThe Republican Party EmergessecessionMontgomeryBenjamin TurnerSelmaJames T. RapierJeremiah HaralsonDallas CountywaterwayrailroadKu Klux KlanRobert LindsayBourbonsPost-Reconstruction Republican PartyGreenbackersPopulistscoalBlack BeltBirminghamagricultureReuben KolbThomas Goode Jonessegregation1901 state constitutionAlabama Republicans and Presidential PoliticsNew DealDixiecratGeorge WallaceParty Realignment and Republican AscendancyJames D. MartinLister Hillcivil rightscottonWinton BlountJeremiah DentonFob JamesRichard ShelbyLurleen WallaceBob Riley’sRoy MooreRobert BentleyShelby CountyAdditional Resources

Number Of Registered Voters By State 2021

Voter registration is the requirement that a person eligible to vote registers on an electoral roll before that person is entitled or permitted to vote. Voter registration may be automatic or may require each eligible person to submit an application. Registration varies between jurisdictions.

Almost 92 million eligible Americans did not vote in the 2016 presidential election. Voter registration and participation are crucial for the nations democracy to function properly and for the US government to provide fair representation.

Low voter registration numbers and low voter turnout can be the result of several factors. To increase voter registration and participation, barriers to registering to vote, and barriers to voting must be eliminated, such as additional restrictions on identification forms and reforms to ensure all eligible ballots will be securely counted. Additionally, those alienated from the democratic process or discouraged from voting must feel that their voice is heard by their leaders and encouraged to participate in elections.

Some pro-voter policies that have shown to increase voter registration and participation are:

Automatic voter registration.

Read Also: Are There More Democrats Or Republicans In The Senate

A Group Of Friends And A Few Acquaintances Were Having A Politic Many Of You Guys Can Add It Up In One Minute So Please Tell Me:

Eric rauchway, professor of american history at the university of democrats seized upon a way of ingratiating themselves to western voters: There were nine new senators and a minimum of 89 new representatives , as well as one new delegate at the start of its first session. During this time, african americans were largely disenfranchised. Get more help from chegg. The us political parties, now called democrats and republicans, switched platform planks, ideologies, and members many although what happened is complex, in many cases there was no clean sudden shift, and some voter bases and factions never switched, you can see evidence of the. How many new democrats are there? Voter registration is the requirement that a person eligible to vote registers on an electoral roll before that person is entitled or permitted to vote. Voter registration and participation are crucial for the nations democracy to function properly and for the us government to provide fair representation. Republicans who worked with democrats were traitors in the war for seats in congress. Ive seen a lot where it says theyre a registered democrat . A group of friends and a few acquaintances were having a politic many of you guys can add it up in one minute, so please tell me: Republicans and democrats after the civil war. In the others, such as virginia, voters register without.

Alabama Republicans And The Populists

Are Alabama Voters Set On Roy Moore? | The View

By the late 1890s, a coalition between the Populist Party and the Republican Party often produced “fusion tickets”, that combined forces in several subsequent elections to win control of several of Alabama hill counties in this era. They were most dominant in Marshall, St. Clair, Shelby, and Chilton Counties. Between 1892 and 1932 Shelby County was usually closely contested under the leadership of A. P. Longshore. Marshall County elected Republican Thomas Kennamer in 1896 to the Alabama House of Representatives. DeKalb County voted in 1896 for GOP Presidential candidate William McKinley. Chilton County was decidedly Republican between 1900â1912, including electing Lewis W. Reynolds as a Republican Probate Judge in 1904 and again in 1916. S. J. Petree was elected as a Republican Probate Judge in Franklin County in 1910; C. C. Scheuing was elected Cullman County Sheriff in 1910; J. B. Sloan was elected as a Republican to the State Senate from a district made up of Blount, Cullman, and Winston Counties. In 1910, J. J. Curtis of Winston County became the first Republican Circuit Judge in Alabama since Reconstruction.

Read Also: What Republicans Voted For Impeachment In The House

Registration Surges Follow The Campaign Calendar

The election calendar also influences party registration trends, as key dates and campaign events drive interest in participation. For instance, a presidential primary or the registration deadline ahead of the general election can spark a flood of registrations. But sometimes this can create a disproportionate number of registrations from one party.

Consider the 2020 presidential primary. Democrats had a competitive race, which drove interest in voting in 2019 and early in 2020 among Democrats and voters who wanted to have a say in the partys nomination contest. Meanwhile, Trump was practically unopposed in the GOP nomination contest, so there wasnt the same motivation among Republican-leaning voters to register ahead of the primaries in the spring until we got closer to the general election.

Illinois: Error Registered A Possible 545 Noncitizen Voters

CHICAGO An error in Illinois new automatic voter registration system led to a possible 545 non-U.S. citizens being registered to vote, 15 of whom cast ballots, state officials publicly acknowledged this week.

Illinois Secretary of State Jesse Whites office, which oversees drivers licenses, said the data of 574 people who self-identified as non-citizens was erroneously forwarded to elections officials to be registered to vote. Election officials confirmed Tuesday that 545 of them were ultimately registered.

It was a computer error, White spokesman Dave Druker said Tuesday. We moved to correct it and contacted people involved.

As Illinois Republicans called for an immediate hearing over a serious breach of voter protections, election officials worked to determine how many of the registrations were indeed invalid. Over 150 registrations had been canceled, said State Board of Elections spokesman Matt Dietrich.

Dietrich said it was possible some people indicated that they werent citizens by mistake. When Illinois residents get standard drivers licenses, they have to confirm they meet the criteria to vote, certifying they are 18 and a U.S. citizen. Only those who meet the criteria are supposed to be sent to election officials for registration.

The 15 people cast 19 ballots in elections in 2018 and 2019.

It was not immediately unclear what would happen to the individuals.

Follow Sophia Tareen on Twitter: https://twitter.com/sophiatareen.

Recommended Reading: How Many Republicans Are Registered To Vote

Party Registration Is Often A Lagging Indicator

A voters party registration is a strong indicator of who theyll support, but its not a guarantee. In fact, many voters registered with one party have actually been voting for the other party in recent elections but havent necessarily switched their registration to reflect the party they actually support.

Take Pennsylvania, for example. The once-Democratic southwestern part has shifted sharply toward the GOP over the past couple of decades. However, party registration figures havent necessarily reflected that movement as much as you might expect. For instance, Greene County along the West Virginia border voted for Trump by 40 percentage points in 2016, yet preelection registration figures1 show that party identification is split almost evenly, with registered Republicans and Democrats each making up 45 percent of the countys voters.

Part of whats going on is that many older voters in that region are still registered as Democrats, even if they back Republicans for most federal offices. Conversely, the suburban counties around Philadelphia in the eastern part of the state used to form the base of the state Republican Party, but even though that area has moved toward the Democrats in recent elections, some Democratic-leaning voters havent changed their party registration. In other words, big shifts in party registration sometimes tell us something we already know, and arent a signal of a new shift in attitudes.

Polling Data Shows Republican Party Affiliation Is Down As Independents Leaning Toward The Democratic Party Surge

Democrats have a nine-percentage-point affiliation advantage over Republicans at the moment.

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The GOP is losing its grip, according to the latest Gallup poll.;

The number of Americans identifying as Republicans or as independents who lean toward the GOP dropped to 40% in the first quarter of 2021, compared with the number of Democrats or independents leaning toward the Democratic party hitting 49%. And that nine-percentage-point lead is the greatest Democratic advantage that Gallup has measured since the fourth quarter of 2012, when former President Barack Obama was re-elected.;

Gallup routinely measures U.S. adults party identification and the political leanings of independents. The latest poll surveyed a random sample of 3,960 U.S. adults by phone between January and March of 2021. And while Democratic Party affiliation actually dropped by one point from the fourth quarter of 2020, to 30% where it has hovered for most of the past eight years the number of Americans identifying as independent rose to 44% from 38% last quarter. And this growing number of independents came at the expense of the Republican party, as 19% of independents said they lean Democrat, compared with 15% leaning Republican. Most of the remaining 11% of independents didnt swing either way.;

And several events have happened during those three months that could position the Democratic Party more favorably in voters eyes, the Gallup report noted.;

Read more:

Opinion:

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Number Of Registered Voters In Illinois Exceeds 8 Million

Something about the 2016 election is striking a cord with the populace to make sure that theyre registered, said Ken Menzel, general counsel for the Illinois State Board of Elections.

With less than two weeks until Election Day, more Illinoisans are registered to vote since record keeping began in 1970.

Past Jumps In Party Affiliations

The bump in Democratic affiliation following Bidens inauguration mirrors that of former President Barack Obamas first term, Jones said.

That was really the high point that weve seen; kind of the 2006-2009 period, when really the majority of Americans either identified as Democrats outright or were independents but they leaned toward the party, he said.;Our data on this only goes back to the 90s, but its pretty much the only time we consistently had one party with the majority of Americans on their side.

Republican advantages, though rarer and more short-lived, followed the Gulf War in 1991 when George H.W. Bush was in office and the 9/11 terrorist attacks during President George W. Bushs term, according to Gallup. More people also reported GOP affiliation after the 1994, 2010 and 2014 midterm elections.

Whether the Republican Party can regain advantage during the 2022 midterm elections may rely on the successes of the Biden administration, according to Jones.

A lot of it is going to depend on how things go over the course of the year. If things get better with the coronavirus and the economy bounces back and a lot of people expect Biden can keep relatively strong approval ratings, then that will be better for the Democrats, Jones said.;But if things start to get worse unemployment goes up or coronavirus gets worse; then his approval is going to go down. Its going to make things a lot better for the Republican Party for the midterm next year.

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[ericleo108]

Can and Will, Do 🛢️

Karma

“I can’t tell you what it really is…” but the concept of “can and will, do” is built off of Arthur Schopenhauer’s “The World as Will and Idea,” where the will to do something is a strong drive to overcome for the whatever task. The visuals are built off of “The Battle of Thermopylae” as represented in the movie 300. It’s worth mentioning I have never read “The World as Will and Idea,” I know about it, and it’s concept from reading “The Story of Philosophy” by Will Durant. The concept of can and will do is also (very) nicely relatable to Tai Lopez’s “Knowledge. Strategy. Execution.” which is more business oriented and less philosophical like mine. This treatise will help you with how to build stamina and mental fortitude through perseverance.

Competition

It's put so simply intentionally. Can and Will, Do. This means if you can do something, that is the necessary prerequisite that you have to have in order to “will it.” Meaning once you can you execute and “get it done” no matter what. Depending on the obstacle is how much will you need to overcome (for love). Personally, I’m a soldier for the cause, as soldier for love. #S4L

Eugene The Machine (ETM) does it wrong, it wants lovers to be with a significant other that will help control the other in its’ favor. ETM will kill you with anxiety and psychological conditions that will make you want to commit suicide, that’s how it competes, by killing people psychologically, socially, and spiritually. ...because you either assassinate the person or assassinate their character. What we need is competition, not a Deadpool that won’t conform to ETM’s insanity.

Eugenic Exploitation

This ideal of pure (utopian) competition is a form of pure competition of ideas. Think of eugenics as the cultivation of idea factories and the competition is similar to an “NFL of ideas.” Good idea factories that can compete, succeed, and reach goals while overcoming for love using mental fortitude are exactly the type of humans our species should be breeding and cultivating eugenically.

The problem is that ETM has the ability to steal ideas as I discuss in the Stolen Ideas post. Under the current system ETM just steals the idea factories ideas, never rewards them, shames them for doing it, and leaves them destitute for even trying to succeed. Currently, instead of pure competition, it’s pure exploitation at ETM’s discretion and choosing. Only those with money, resources, the knowledge, and/or experience can protect their intellectual property. Otherwise, your ideas are the property of ETM to manipulate at will.

I thought of "can and will, do” years ago, like at least half a decade ago but the US military probably stole it and took it for their own without recognizing me like they always do. I'll probably find that some company has this as a slogan because Eugene The Machine (ETM) steals ideas. Read “ETM’s Stolen Ideas” to understand what I'm talking about.

Inventions & Thought Experiments

This is such a big deal because everyone knows people live and thrive off their ideas! Ideas are they’re very valuable! That’s what any business concept or invention is, the idea, the dream of a desired outcome. It is the can from can and will do.

For a better understanding of why having ideas and dreams are so important to success read Think and Grow Rich. Many people don’t even have the will to think of a great idea which is why you have to have the idea of a dream or a goal to reach that will make your life heavenly to you. For some it’s enough money to go on summer vacations and travel, for others it’s money to run a business, for others it’s to make history, and for many it’s the ability to retire comfortably. ...because what is the American dream?

Thought Experiments

For great minds the world over it is thought experiments that help people conceptualize their ideas, goals, and dreams. Albert Einstein and Nikola Tesla used to talk about how they would do thought experiments to help conceptualize their intuition. In other words, Albert Einstein used to think about and conceptualize how fast light waves travel which helped him build “The Theory of Relativity.” Nikola Tesla thought of A/C power in his head and how to produce it with a turbine which he first put into practice with the Hoover Dam. The modern city is not possible without Nikola Tesla’s genius!

As discussed in Think and Grow Rich, Henry Ford hired a team to think of (what I think is) the V-8 engine. No engineer thought it was possible. Henry Ford hired the engineers, they would tell Henry it wasn’t possible and he would say “do it anyway.” To make a short story short (because you get it) Henry did this for a couple years until the engineers conceptualized the V-8 engine because can and will, do. Think about the “smoke stacks” as discussed in “How to Fix Global Warming Overnight.”

Reverse Engineer the Assault

With inventions you basically sit there until you think of the original idea or the conception of your thought experiment. With whatever your dream is, write it down and work backwards on how to get there. In other words, think of your goal and then think of how to achieve that goal. This reverse engineering of your dream is fundamental to achieving your dream, goal, or personal heaven.

ETM has set it up so that those that disobey it’s influence will be punished and the more you fight the worse the punishment. I have to fight people and society as I crash against the tide of ETM’s ideas, mind control, and social manipulations. In other words, I have to fight ETM’s fear and anxiety inducing nazi imagery, then how that affects my mind emotionally, and overcome the social assault which is designed to give me crippling anxiety. Now I’m just used to it!

Crashing Against The Tide

Personally I have a couple visuals in my mind of what it looks like to live like I do, both have to do with the ocean. The first is of an Underwater Ocean Turbine (UOT). I’m basically a big machine in the ocean that provides for humanity so they may live better, happier lives. Do you understand how those machines have to be anchored and the sheer relentless tidal forces it has to overcome constantly!? That’s what my mental fortitude is like. Keep that in mind as we go through this.

If you think about how waves relentlessly crash into the shoreline and how Mother Nature just doesn't quit is how I view what I'm facing. Back in the day when I was in high school I used to go to Van Buren State Park near South Haven Michigan. I only did it a couple times but I loved it when it was high tide. I would go out in the lake where the water would come up to my knees and I would crash into each wave body-slamming the wave until the water broke around my body. “It's fun, for a while (2:42),” then you realize that no matter what you do the tide will just keep coming and you're fighting mother nature and she'll win... so you just have to “walk away” after a while or die. It’s a metaphor for how to beat the machine by focusing on long-term survival.

300

As it relates to fighting ETM I have an image in my head of blocking the Immortals and making them roll off my shield as portrayed in this scene from 300. It’s a similar motion and visual you can create in your head for fighting ETM because it’s relentless like crashing against the ocean’s tide. This is because no one sees it and people just let ETM control them. What that Spartan Warrior crashing against the tide really is, is me manipulating people to stop attacking me on behalf of ETM. With my hometown of Sturgis, Michigan I’m trying to create a defile where “numbers count for nothing” and at least we have peace because we’re not stupid.

Go Out For Love #S4L

What I do every day is go out for love! What’s in the box (besides the obvious)? ...is “a glass cage of emotion!” Specifically known as anxiety!

I train wreck myself occasionally with anxiety, just to think about the world differently. ETM will basically give you obscure cognition to change your behavior and then use social-psychological anxiety to make you conform. Hahahaha. This probably kills people and they run home to their (corporeal) mother (or cloth mother when their younger) who is way to controlled by emotion. Then men give into Her and ETM wins.

I, don’t do that. That’s what you do if you’re basic! I’m a “Soldier For Love,” #S4L. Like I said, I manipulate the social assault and roll-off the aggression, hardship, and confrontations with Emotional Intelligence that I do automatically (thanks to my degree sociology and being an autodidact).  I’m a nice guy people. I’m just getting forceful online because I have too. When I say “go out for love” I’m saying you must...

Live for Love

I live for the cause... of love. Life is relentless especially crashing against the tide and you’ll kill yourself of exhaustion if you don’t “go out for love” and “lay down and die like Keanu Reeves in Constantine because you’d rather kill your pain than kill yourself,” as I talk about in What’s In The Box? Don’t die for the cause, live to make sure it becomes a reality. Why would you kill yourself over some hate when you could live for love!? Know what is just and right and true then live for your dream even though you’re willing to die for it. 

This use to cause me, and probably is used to cause a lot of people a lot of anxiety to think about. Basically people just condemn you if you go against ETM because they don’t, won’t, or can’t see it. ETM gives you social pressures that are so hard to overcome if you don’t know what is just and right and true. It will make you think your worthless and make you want to kill yourself. ...so you must live for love to overcome. 

Overcoming Death

It’s really easy to overcome the fear of death if you think about what your death means. Again, this is why it’s so important for you to know what is just and right and true. If your life is meaningless obscurity will cause you fear, but even if you did something small, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a huge effect. You know you’ll be remembered and canonized even if it’s in a small way. I know if I die, ETM will be taken seriously no matter what so I’m comfortable with dying for it. The truth is, I’d much rather live for the cause and earn real, deep, lasting love from a corporeal mother that understands me. I’m currently living for that cause of love and can and will do.

You hurt me by not believing me and antagonizing me about ETM, making your love conditional, and leaving me without. If you love me, just find some way to help me and this blog is designed to help you think about how to do that. Personally I overcome for love all the time. Every day I go out for love because can and will do!

What is Your Profession?

I'm a soldier for love that gets his queens’ approval to die for the cause. The problem is What’s In The Box? because I only have a reel mother, not a corporeal mother, and I have to fight my cloth mother(s). I’ll be living for love! 

If you want me to stop being so forceful and aggressive by not freaking out, give me love so I can just be myself and stop having to fight you, the psychiatric community, society, and my friends and family. There’s a couple representations of how men cope with this anxiety in the media but it’s about laying down and calming your anxiety with a corporeal mother, e.g. your wife. ...I can only show you what it feels like.

This represents holding on to love.

This represents letting go of love.

Are you sure you know what your doing Hollywood?

Men have their own problems, ETM makes you look and go crazy if you go out for love. (Remembering Jack’s door).

Here’s Johnny!

This has to do with what I call (Orange) Blue (going to keep it going), the God of the human mind.

Currently best represented by the god Vishnu...

but I digress.

Again, it’s about eugenics and fertility.

#JesusChrist!

Personally...

No…

...you don’t play me like that!

Turn Around 0:00

...cuz THIS IS NOT A GAME!

✒️0:07

[junker-town]

Think switching from QB to WR is easy? Ask someone who’s done it.

Flippant analysis obscures how hard it is to learn a whole new job.

So you’re a college football quarterback looking to improve your NFL odds. You’re hearing a familiar piece of advice:

“That guy has great athleticism. He should consider switching to wide receiver.”

Often, it’s a flippant comment about mobile quarterbacks. It could be Anonymous NFL Scout, veteran player personnel guy, talking head, or somebody in a bar who made a seven-round mock draft saying it.

It’s easy to argue a fast QB should become a WR. But it’s a lot harder to actually make the transition.

Take Armanti Edwards, for instance.

You might remember his most famous quarterbacking performance. The final score: Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32, one of the most famous upsets in the history of the sport. It became clear to the 5’11 QB that, to give himself his best shot at the league, he should switch positions, even while still trying to keep his QB dreams alive.

“I was informed by my agent: just basically work out as an athlete,” Edwards said. “So I trained to be a quarterback, and I trained to be a receiver and occasionally, whenever the JUGS machine was available, I trained to catch punts, to train as a returner. So I was juggling three different positions and two of them that I’ve never played, all at the same time, for the combine and pro day.”

First, he had to re-learn how to run.

Some skills are translatable, in theory. If you’re fast and already know how to read coverages, then you have a leg up, but when things get to the field, it’s more difficult. Even the reason Edwards was advised to move — his speed — became something he had to work on.

“Everything that I thought I knew about football goes out the window because I’m looking at it from a different perspective now,” Edwards said. “I’ve got to learn how to get off the jam. I’ve got to learn how to run one route multiple different ways. And I’m running without the football. The only time I ran as a quarterback is if I had the ball down in my hand or if I’m jogging after I get a first down to get ready for the next play.”

Running outside of the pocket as a quarterback is often about freelancing. You have the ball and you’re moving in space to gain territory by any means necessary. As a receiver, in order to get the ball and freelance, you must have a strict efficiency of movement.

“As a quarterback or running back, you work on a horizontal plane,” says Ohio State receivers coach Zach Smith. “As a receiver, you have to take that athletic ability and transfer it onto a vertical plane. On a post route, most athletes, when running full speed, will slow down and their steps will get choppy as they change direction onto an angle of departure. A receiver who is well-versed will be fluid and smooth. They’ll put their foot in the ground with body language and accelerate out, and their stride won’t shorten. You can be shifty after the catch. But you don’t want to be shifty in a route.”

Wide receiver is a lot more complex than it’s made out to be, even for veteran QBs.

At the core of the switching discussion, which usually involves minority players, is a racial connotation. Across all sports, minority players often get moved to less-central positions. In football, it means QBs getting moved to running back, defensive back, or wide receiver at a disproportionate rate vs. their white counterparts.

But shunting minority players to WR, where athleticism is seen as far more important than intelligence, also maligns the mental capacity it takes to succeed at wideout.

You’re running a route with a defined number of steps before a break. It must be timed so that when the QB moves through his progression, you’re where he needs you to be at the right time. Some philosophies — like the Run ‘N’ Shoot, which still has a heavy influence on today’s vertical passing game — force receivers to read a defense mid-route, too.

And your routes always have to be good, no matter how far away from the action, so the defense doesn’t glean tendencies. It takes focus and determination to be technically excellent on every play.

“So you have to run as fast as you can, controlling your speed in order to stop on a dime and come out the break before the defender comes out of his break. People don’t really look at it that way, and that’s the way you have to look at it to really understand how valuable receivers are,” Edwards said.

Add in the nuances of how a WR fits into the run game, and you’ve got a complicated job, reading blitzes and rush paths of perimeter defenders and handling linebackers who can be much bigger than you. These things were all “fresh frustrations” for Edwards.

Progress isn’t linear or automatic, as Braxton Miller attests.

It took Edwards four years and two WR coaches to get comfortable. If you’re going to make it in the NFL after the switch, it behooves you to play WR in college, per our survey of 28 QBs who have made the switch.

And if you’re a QB with any prayer of the first round, stay at QB. You’ll notice almost nobody in this post gave up playing QB and then went in the first. Only a handful went in the second. Everyone did what they had to do to get drafted as early as possible.

Miller led Ohio State to an undefeated season as a QB, but after an injury forced him to sit out 2014, he made the WR transition in his final season with the Buckeyes and got drafted by the Houston Texans. It was a pragmatic switch after two QBs passed him on the depth chart. Sure, he could have transferred, but there’s no guarantee he would have competed for a title as he did in Columbus. Miller also was never going to be a projected first-round pick at QB, unlike fellow dual-threats such as Lamar Jackson.

“I knew it was the best decision for me,” Miller said. “Because I knew I had the athletic ability to play the position, and I knew as long as I kept focusing on putting in the work, I could do anything I set my mind to.”

Patterning his game after Wes Welker and Jerry Rice, Miller says he was comfortable the first time he stepped on the field and hit a spin move.

“I had to understand and recognize that the ball wasn’t going to be in my hands every play,” Miller said.

Miller shared Edwards’ psychological struggles about no longer being the focal point.

“It was a brand new concept to me. I never played any other position aside from quarterback,” Miller said. “I was overly focused on doing whatever it took to help the team win. Not having the ball in my hands every play was definitely the toughest adjustment at first. Once I accepted that concept, everything else fell into place on the field.”

Edwards didn’t catch a ball in the NFL until his third season, with the bulk of his production coming from the return game. The learning curve was long because he hadn’t played the position full-time since his junior year of high school. Imagine being asked to become excellent at something you haven’t even thought about in six years.

Edwards lost his way and became disenfranchised with the game. After his first season, the NFL lockout knocked out scheduled OTAs.

“Obviously when you’re in-season, you’re preparing each week for a different team, and you don’t have much time to sit there and be technical when it comes to running routes,” Edwards said. “Professionally, you’re supposed to know how to to do that already.”

He’s revived his career, and in 2017, he finished 15th in the Canadian Football League in receiving yards and ninth in catches.

Miller was on the field for 39 percent of Houston’s offensive snaps in 2017, and he’s on deck for a breakout third season.

Edwards is no longer the young player trying to balance a QB dream with pragmatism. He’s a veteran who bloomed late in a different pro league, the second-oldest WR on the Toronto Argonauts. But what position was he better at? On that question he’s unsure, given he’s only played receiver at a high level for one season.

But Miller is clear.

“I played quarterback my whole life, and I played receiver for a few years, but I know I am a better receiver,” Miller said. “I can be a deep threat, in the slot, wildcat. I control my destiny on the field. If the ball is thrown to my hands, my job is to make plays.”

Are you ready to follow in their footsteps and make the switch?

[bennyrondeyharry-blog]

A brief history of sporting guns

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[pinebypine]

Longest Night of the Year

Triplet AU Fic. The triplets have been caught up in a cult’s midnight shenanigans.

In the monster movies, when the evil cultists have the virginal maiden tied to a post so she can be sacrificed to the ancient eldrich horror or terrifying creature out of time, she is always in a thin slip of a dress that reveals just about everything. Mabel had quite liked those scenes in the movies, it was practically the climax of the film and she either got to see the monster get defeated by the intrepid heroes or, occasionally, somebody get eaten. She’d secretly imagined what it might be like to be in such a position, held spreadeagled and awaiting an uncertain fate.

What she had not imagined was doing so in central Oregon in the middle of the night in the dead of winter. Mabel was freezing her tuckus off. She was so cold in fact, that her worry about whether it was possible to get frostbite of the nipple was actually overriding the worry coming from the fact, despite all her tugging, she was unable to wiggle or tug or otherwise make any progress on the ropes around her wrists or ankles.

To her left, Ty hung limply by her arms, strung to a post of her own. She’d either passed out or taken a hefty bonk on the head during the struggle to get them tied up here. Mabel was starting to get seriously worried that her sister hadn’t moved in a while. On Mabel’s other side, Dipper was violently thrashing against his bindings, but his yells of fury were being effectively blanked out by the rag that had been stuffed into his mouth and taped over.

If circumstances had been different, Mabel would love to be mocking her brother right now, but not only was this probably the worst time for some good-natured sibling ribbing, she’d been gagged too. She considered though, that despite the obvious handicap of trying to make-over a struggling and unwilling subject, theses cultists had done a surprisingly decent job making her brother look like a girl.

Several red and guttering lights began to bob toward them through the trees.

Oh thank god, Mabel thought, they’ve got torches. Maybe they’re just planning on burning us alive. At least then I’ll be warm.

“Behold the sisters of the year! The triple-goddess made incarnate again!” A voice called out from the darkness.

Mabel heard her brother’s faint yelling grow slightly louder. She could discern shapes in the darkness now. Hooded figures surrounded them, some holding torches, others sickles, and yet others what looked like branches.

The cultist speaker continued. “For this night the Wild Hunt has ceased its endless game and rests; so that in the belly of this darkness, the seed of the new year can be sown. We call to you, Leader of the Hunt, King of Winter, Father of the Seasons!”

Around the triplets, the cultists all repeated the titles, thrusting their torches and implements into the air.

“Come to this glade, receive our willing sacrifice, and set burning the fire that will warm the world!” She then continued to speak in some other language that Mabel didn’t recognize and the other cultists took up the words as some sort of chant. At the shouting grew louder, Mabel thought she also could hear the baying of hounds start somewhere in the distance.

She quit pulling against her ties; all she had accomplished until this point was to give herself rope burns. She craned her neck and peered up at where the rope that bound her wrists was secured to the post. If she swayed her arms and body back and forth, she could see the knot slip along the wood. Was it working loose? She couldn’t tell but it was better that what she’d be trying before.

There were definitely animal sounds coming from the forest now; dog howls and horses hooves. Mabel looked past the hooded figures and saw riders circling, getting closer. She looked up at the ropes above her; the knot seemed to have loosened slightly and she was dragging it across the rough bark of the post. Keep this up, she reasoned, and the rope would certainly wear through. That might take minutes though, and she was becoming more and more convinced that they did not have that kind of time.

Mabel checked on her siblings as she continued to work at her bindings. Dipper wasn’t flailing anymore, he had a look of deep concentration on his face and Mabel saw that he’d managed to twist his wrists apart a little, and the fingers of one hand were digging at the knot. On her other side, Ty was as still as the dead, mouth hanging agape. Mabel saw her sister’s hair begin to whip around her head as a fierce wind swelled, biting into all of them.

The cultists and dog fell silent in a rush and the air became lifeless around them. The woods were dead calm, but for the sound of hooves and bodies moving in saddles beyond the rim of the lights. Dipper made a small noise of shock and Mabel turned to see a figure standing before them.

He was enormous, like someone had put an NFL linebacker in a copy machine and hit the 150% scale button. A pair of curling, many-pronged antlers rose from his forehead and Mabel should see wisps of frost floating from their points. His mountainous shoulders were wrapped in what looked like an entire bearskin and he held a spear that could serve as a ship’s mast. His long hair and beard were silvery tangles of thick hair that surrounded a grizzled and scarred face. A single shining blue eye pierced the shadows from beneath his overgrown brows.

One of the cultists came forward and beckoned toward the Pines triplets. “We present you with our offering, Lord of the North. Three pure girls to represent the seasons you will father in them.” She pointed to  Mabel first. “The maiden of spring, blushing with new life and promise.” Her hand turned to Ty. “The mother of summer, in full flourishment of growth.” And finally she indicated to Dipper, who was glaring back so furiously and he might burst a blood vessel in his forehead. “And the crone of autumn, who wanes with the year that it may begin anew.”

The huge man smiled and spoke in voice deeper than the calving of glaciers. “For-wel fæger, bearn.” The spear swung around in his hand and he drove the point of it into the cold ground with ease. Then a hand the size of a spade reached to the clasp of his cloak and pulled it away. His only remaining covering was a loose loin cloth which was not doing a good job of hiding anything at that moment. His smile was wide as he began to close the distance between them.

“Okay, this is complete bull.”

Mabel’s head whipped toward the voice and she saw Ty up and alert, her face a mask of indignation. Mabel’s heart swelled at the sight; her sister must have faked some or all of her time unconscious, and because she had not been struggling the cultists had failed to gag her.

“Fearr?” The man said, looking puzzled.

“Or what comes out of one, in any case. First off, none of us is ‘pure’ by any stretch of the imagination. Second, you will not be planting any seed in anybody tonight. And third, that ‘girl’ on the end there is my brother Dipper. You’re little groupies are trying to pull a fast one on you.”

Now even the sounds of the riders ceased and the wood fell silent, a heavy tension filling the air. The King of Winter’s chest swelled as he drew in a breath, stepped over to Dipper, and lifted the pure white dress. His jaw dropped agape and he wheeled on the cultists.

“Sparks and splinters! What on earth were you planning? Did you think I would not notice?!”

The nearest cultist shrunk from him and turned away. “Many pardons, my lord. We attempted to find a set female triplets but there was a mistake and there wasn’t time too-”

The King’s face dropped and he covered it with one huge hand, shaking with frustration. “What are you? Morons? There’s nothing in the ritual that says they have to be triplets. They don’t even need to be sisters. But they do need to be female.” He bent over to look under the hood of the cultist. “I don’t recognize you; how many solstices have you overseen?”

By her body language, the cultist was unprepared for this sort of questioning. “Uh. One.”

A single large silver eyebrow cocked at her. “Really?”

“Well, including this one. Look we’re doing our best.”

The King heaved a sigh and turned back to the triplets. “I am so very sorry; they shouldn’t have bothered you three with all this.” He strode over and with a casual tug, snapped the rope holding Mabel’s arms up. “There seems to be a misunderstanding among my worshippers about a few things.”

Ty was freed next, then Dipper, who wobbled and nearly fell over when he tried to put weight on high heels. Mabel shook the loops of rope off her hands and tore at the tape over her mouth. “Ow ow ow. Man that hurts.”

“Oh dear, you three look cold. Here.” The fur cape was lifted from the ground and the King wrapped it around them in a bundle. The steamy heat of it began instantly to warm them. “Out of curiosity, were the ropes your idea? I mean, I’m all for a little kinky stuff but I just want to make sure nobody thought they were expected.”

Mabel fumed. “The ropes were because we kept trying to get away! They trapped us outside our Grunkle Stan’s cabin! They threw a net over us!”

“We only came to Oregon,“ Dipper chimed in, ”because we got a letter from him saying to come give him a ride back home for Christmas. But when we got here we find out he’s in Barbados for three weeks. I think they faked that letter to get us out here!” He almost lost his balance again but was caught by his sisters.

Ty finished the tale. “Then they panicked because Dipper was actually a boy; which probably shouldn’t have been that hard to figure out before they kidnap somebody. So they decided to try and fool you, dressed us like this and tied us to these posts.”

The King’s head sank again. “Oh son of a...” He turned back to the robed figures, who were congealing into a tight crowd. “That’s what you think I want? This is supposed to be fun. It’s the one night off I get all year and you guys think I want to spend it...” He shuddered visibly. “You’re just supposed to put an ad in the newspaper or something. ‘Wanted: three beautiful young women to lay with god of winter. Lubricant and snacks provided.’”

Huge fists clenched and the triplet’s head height. “You know what?” the King’s voice was suddenly full of resignation. “Since my evening has suddenly become free, I think it’s time for the Wild Hunt to get back to its business.” The baying of the hounds resumed and now the glint of the moonlight off of metal was visible among the motionless riders. The King of Winter smiled. “I’m going to take these nice young people back to their cabin and then I go back to work; that’s how much of a head start you all get. Not that it’ll make any difference in the end.”

When the hooded figures had scrambled from sight, the huge man plucked his spear from the ground and beckoned to the Pines triplets to follow him. They did, helping Dipper when necessary, and were lead a few dozen yards away to a spot where an enormous wagon sat in wait. Harnessed to it were more than a dozen horned beasts: elk, deer, bison, and even some sort of antelope with a strangely shaped nose. A pair of attendants, who were so covered in leather, furs, and sheathed weapons that not a scrap of skin showed, handed the King a huge set of reins, helped the triplets up onto the wagon’s copious bench seat, and began to unchuck the wheels.

“I hope you three can forgive me for the actions of my worshipers. I assure you this is the last time I let the new world branch of my church handle a big event.” The King pulled another fur cape from the back of the wagon and tossed it around hiself, then commanded his draft animals into motion. He shook his head in shameful wonder. “Ugh they didn’t even get all the names right. They’re lucky this wasn’t midsummer; Titania isn’t as merciful as me.”

Mabel looked at him quizzically. “Aren’t you going to hunt them like animals?”

As the King laughed, they could see a few snowflakes fall from his horns. “Compared to what my queen would do, that’s practically a slap on the wrist.”

Mabel felt some movement inside the immense span of the fur cloak and then heard Ty whisper in Dipper’s ear. “Did they actually shave your legs? You are really smooth.”

Her brother hunkered into the fur more. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Mabel slipped her arm around her brother’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, bro. It turns out you’ve got some great gams.”

Dipper sunk further. “I hate you both.”

They didn’t seem to have gone very far, but the dark bulk of the Mystery Shack, shuttered up and closed for the season, suddenly loomed before them. When the wagon came to a halt near the front door, the strange attendants seemed to materialize from nowhere and helped them down. The King of Winter dropped from the wagon and placed a hand on Mabel’s shoulder.

“I owe you all a debt that will be difficult to repay. But we’ll see about getting a start on it, at least.” He rose and pulled a wrapped parcel as big a man from the back of the wagon and a sack of nearly the same size; these he handed to his attendants, instructing them to get things set up inside. Then he knelt on one knee before the Pine’s siblings and smiled warmly at them.

“I want you to know that you may count me a friend.” And suddenly they were encircled by a pair of arms like anchor chains. As the King rose, his one eye twinkled at them. Then he leapt into the seat of his wagon and bellowed some of that strange language into the sky. The sounds of the hunt grew around them and swelled as the King whipped his wagon team into a frenzy, speeding off into the forest.

One of the attendants retrieved the King’s cloak from the Pines siblings, and, divested of its warmth, they all hurried inside.

“Oh my god, Mabel.” Ty giggled. “Did you see he popped out of his loincloth when he knelt down?”

“I know! When he hugged us it was like- BAM- right there. Swear to god, it was the size of my leg.”

Dipper groaned. “Will you two grow up?”

“How is that even supposed to-”

They all froze when the saw the interior of the shack; the place seemed remade. Candles burned from nearly every horizontal surface. A fire crackled in the wood stove. The little table in the living room overflowed with food: roasted meats, loaves of bread, fruit, and a plethora of sugary things covered in frosting. Laid out in middle of the room were three piles of parcels, wrapped in plain brown paper but bearing colorful ribbons and tags.

Dipper started to walk toward the enticing spread of food but wobbled on a heel and landed in Ty’s arms. When he was righted and starting to kick off the shoes, Mabel dug him in the ribs with her elbow. “I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it, Big D.”

“What?” Dipper looked up with a slightly hunted look. “No, no! No I won’t; this is never happening again!”

Ty winked at her sister and ambled over to the table. “Oh I think that now that we know the possibilities, at the very least we’re going to have to come up with something different for next years Halloween costumes.”

“No, Ty.” Dipper started pulling off the dress.

Mabel caught one of his arms up with hers and gave him a tender peck on the cheek. “You’ll make a great Buttercup, Dip.” She started to drag him over to eat.

“No, Mabel.”

There was a lull in the conversation as began to dig into the food. They hadn’t eaten since breakfast and started to pack it away like only teenagers can. Eventually Ty was the one to break the silence.

“So, are we just not going to talk about what happened out there in the woods?”

Dipper swallowed a huge mouthful of venison. “You mean that it turns out Santa is a prehistoric seasonal god of the hunt with antlers and an army of riders and dogs that he uses to chase people and that once a year some followers of his arrange for him to have four-way with three young women to don’t have to be related but it would appear to be preferred?”

Mabel perked up. “Or that he’s got a huge cock?”

Ty considered the choices. “I’m gonna go with ‘cock’. It’s a much more interesting topic.”

Both of the girls turned to their brother; it would appear that unwrapping their presents was going to have to wait.