#there is nothing to move up to from his beautiful brand new expensive range rover | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deadcactuswalking · 4 years ago

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 31/10/2020 (Ariana Grande, KSI, Little Mix)

I haven’t heard that Ariana Grande album yet as of writing this but the lead single – and title track – “positions” has just debuted at #1 on the UK Singles Chart, her seventh song to hit the top and second this year after “Rain on Me” with Lady Gaga. Hence, that’s today’s #1 and we have a busy and pretty chaotic week of new arrivals. Welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

A lot of their debuts from last week were completely wiped out on this week’s chart which surprises me, especially for songs I thought would hit it big like “One More Time” by Not3s and AJ Tracey. Our notable dropouts here range from bonafide smash hits like “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek, which hit #1, although I always preferred “Swoosh” from the same album, to pretty easy and quick fall outs from songs I’ve reviewed in the past few weeks. We’ve got songs that peaked in the top 10 like “Rover” by S1mba and DTG and “I Dunno” by Dutchavelli, Tion Wayne and Stormzy but otherwise that’s mostly it as a lot of these drop-outs are just songs that didn’t really reach their charting potential or have mostly had their day in streaming, like the surprisingly quick drop for “my ex’s best friend” by Machine Gun Kelly and blackbear, as well as “Destiny” by D-Block Europe, “Tap In” by Saweetie, “FRANCHISE” by Travis Scott, Young Thug and M.I.A., “OK Not to Be OK” by Marshmello and Demi Lovato, “Airplane Mode” by Nines and NSG and even “Outta Time” by Bryson Tiller and Drake. If you’re worried about the loss of MGK’s song being too soon for whatever reason, don’t fret as “forget me too” with Halsey, a much better song, is here at #72, our only returning entry for the week. I might as well run through the biggest gains and falls, those both being last week’s debuts. “Train Wreck” by James Arthur absolutely surged up to #24 whilst “Hold” by Chunkz and Young Filly absolutely purged down to #59. To be fair to the general public, I think I’d rather listen to something from four years ago than that song as well. Anyway, let’s start our new arrivals with a couple really interesting choices...

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Sofia” – Clairo

Produced by Rostam

Clairo is one of those artists where I feel completely out of the loop on, especially with all the recent buzz from TikTok, and I was not checking for that album last year, and whilst I didn’t mind her feature on Wallows’ “Are You Bored Yet”, I’d never been intrigued enough to check out the solo work until I guess here we see it on the chart, which is big for the genre of bedroom pop, which again I know next to nothing about. Now, I like lo-fi indie rock fine, but I’ve never really tried to look into the bedroom pop micro-genre – if anyone has any recommendations, that would be appreciated – so this will pretty much be a first gaze into not just Clairo but the entire scene surrounding her. I’m not a Vampire Weekend fan by any means but Rostam on production just give me hope, even if the mix here is a bit too drowned in reverb and echo to give the guitars any more impact when they really should have, at least I think so, they’re pushed back in a way that makes an already pretty calm, fleeting indie single even more lacking sonically. Clairo sounds great on this instrumentation, admittedly, albeit kind of uninterested, but it really is about that fuzzy distortion in the drop that feels... oddly anti-climactic and seemingly pointless considering how little progression is made before or after it. Maybe this genre just isn’t for me, but I feel myself turned off from how Clairo’s pretty beautiful vocal harmonies are not reflected by the production here, whether it be the stiff percussion, abrupt ending or overall lack of substance. This is kind of disappointing as I really wanted to like this. The song is a pretty vague but longing ballad mostly revolving around her crushes on people she saw in the mind, particularly Sofia Vergara and Sofia Coppola, hence the name, and I think it’s actually really well-written. I especially love how the chorus seems to acknowledge that not only are these crushes clearly out of her reach as a teenage girl just discovering her sexuality but also mentioning how afraid she is to really develop on any of these feelings because of how it’s prejudiced against and in some countries outlawed, but the song easily works as just a confession of love without really realising the statement, so it doesn’t feel forced or unnecessary. Sadly, I guess Rostam had to put his prints on this one, but the song itself isn’t bad at all. Hey, I’m not going to complain about a song where I can look at pictures of Sofia Coppola for “research”.

#74 – “All Girls are the Same” – Juice WRLD

Produced by Nick Mira

It’s so odd and kind of heartbreaking to see the Genius comments for this track where they say Juice is “up next for 2018”. It’s also pretty amusing to see some of these annotations...

God, I love Genius.com. This is a 2017 Juice WRLD track from the late rapper that was released as a single from his debut album, Goodbye & Good Riddance. I don’t really understand why this had a resurgence – again, I’m going to assume TikTok or some kind of remix – but it is funny to see a bitter, immature and sloppily-written song about heartbreak and how “all girls are the same” next to a lesbian love ballad on the chart... and above said ballad because we clearly live in a society. I’m not going to mince words here: this is a pretty bad song, at least in my opinion. All respect to Juice but he’s clearly not on top form here, with an uninterested and badly-mixed vocal delivery over a really dull, jingly trap beat with awful bass mastering. In fact, the whole song is mixed awfully and sounds really muddy which may have been the point but it doesn’t complement Juice at all. The lyrics here are purposefully immature and at times stupid, especially when he compares himself to John Lennon and is so desperate for a rhyme the dude says this unnamed girl is from Colorado. I’m not going to deny some of the lyrics here are kind of haunting now due to tragic circumstances but I still get a chuckle out of the vocoder on his voice after massive empty spaces in both the beat and vocal track that makes the song sound clearly amateurish (to be fair to Juice, he clearly didn’t have access to the best studio equipment but it doesn’t excuse the major-label streaming release sounding this sloppy), as well as that opening line.

Broke my heart, oh, no, you didn’t!

Yeah, I’ll take “Robbery” over this any day, or even “Righteous”. Sorry.

#73 – “Martin & Gina” – Polo G

Produced by Hagan, Lilkdubb and Tahj Money

It seems we have two melancholy trap-rappers from Chicago appear consecutively on the chart. I love those types of oddities. If you don’t know Polo G, you probably should, at least from his hit “Pop Out” with Lil Tjay last year, and this is his most recent hit. I typically find his brand of mournful Auto-Tuned crooning about life on the streets remarkably genuine in comparison to most rappers but also admittedly really boring, at least for now. I can see this guy becoming a lot bigger and better but as of now he releases so much music and the quality and effort seems to fall by the wayside more often than not. In typical 2000s bling-rap fashion, this hardcore street rapper’s biggest hit from the album The GOAT (perhaps a bit early to call there, Mr. G) is a guitar-based R&B love jam for the ladies, except it’s not a sex jam...

Girl, I can’t wait ‘til I get home to f*** the s*** out of you

Okay, well, that’s one line.

Man, I’m tryin’ to get to know you sexually

Okay, but at least he’s trying to get to know her. The song’s lyrics do have a genuine heartfelt sense of love and companionship with his unnamed woman, and some of these lyrics are pretty funny and pleasant, albeit shallow. I love how in the first verse he says that even on her worst days she still looks “kind of cute”, in a way that makes this song more down to Earth than other thugs-need-love-too songs, especially when he acknowledges the troubles in their relationship, which may be undermined by the unfortunate implications that come with that “Martin & Gina” comparison but that’s really not the focus of the song, even if it is the title. He may talk about the shopping sprees now but there is evidence here that Polo G genuinely wants to live his life with this woman, especially when he says he wants them to move out to California and live in a mansion. There’s flexing there for sure but it’s less out of a desire to sound “cooler” than the other rappers or the audience, and more out of a desire to make the most out of this relationship in case, as he knows he might have to, he should “pull the stick out and shoot” to protect her. It helps that this is a damn good song with Polo’s catchy flow in both the verses and that infectious chorus, as well as a really slick guitar lick behind that trap knock. Yeah, this is pretty great. Check it out.

#71 – “Spicy” – Ty Dolla $ign featuring Post Malone

Produced by Ty Dolla $ign, Westen Weiss and damn james!

It seems that Ty Dolla $ign has finally clocked that people like him for his features and not his solo work as he has released his most recent album fittingly named Featuring Ty Dolla $ign, following a trend of recent massive collaborative albums in pop music. This particular album features the likes of Kid Cudi, Kanye West (twice), Anderson .Paak, Nicki Minaj, Big Sean, Future, Young Thug, FKA twigs because, well, sure, and obviously, Post Malone. I haven’t listened to the album yet, I mean it sounds exhausting but I don’t necessarily like what I’ve heard. “Expensive” with Nicki Minaj is soulless, “Ego Death” with Skrillex, Kanye and FKA twigs is chaotically misguided and a massive disappointment, “Track 6” with Kanye, .Paak and Thundercat is way too boring for these four artists, and that’s all I’ve heard, except that “Dr. Sebi” interlude with Young Thug that I thought was actually pretty damn good for a one minute snippet. I did brief through some songs on the album right now as I was writing this and I wasn’t really a fan of any of it, not even the songs with Future and Young Thug, artists I actually really like. The song with Kid Cudi was pretty amazing though, which I pretty much expected, I mean it is Cudi after all and he’s really felt revived this year, even if he feels out of place on a sex song. The serpentwithfeet interlude definitely adds to that song though, and it actually leads into this track with Post Malone. This is their second collaboration after their #1 hit “Psycho”, but it’s a lot less interesting, replacing the serenity and smooth flows with more fast-paced trap skitters, hit-and-miss flows that only make Ty$ sound all that great in the tail-end of his verse. Post’s verse is out of place and feels like a regression for him, with the verse sounding like it was taken straight out of the Stoney sessions. The guys have no chemistry and Post doesn’t even contribute to a final chorus, which feels particularly odd as there’s not a bridge to round any of this out properly as it just transitions awkwardly to the sixth track, titled “Track 6”. At least Ty$ isn’t facing 15 years in jail for cocaine possession now, which is something I brought up a disproportionate amount of times in older episodes of this show, because, well, sure.

#69 – “Whoopty” – CJ

Produced by Pxcoyo

CJ is an “up-and-coming” rapper with only one song that pretty quickly went viral. There’s something fishy about this. The only other song by CJ on Spotify and I assume other streaming services is this CashmoneyAP-produced trap song called “On Me” that is completely garbage. It does sound pretty odd that while he doesn’t sound dissimilar in “Whoopty”, this uninterested Auto-Tuned mumbler took three years to get another song on streaming and now he’s an energetic New York rapper using a beat that was literally uploaded to the producer’s website as a “Pop Smoke type beat” weeks before “Whoopty” was released, which, by the way, was an immediate viral hit on YouTube. Very strange, very unusual but not very worth talking about as the one thing “On Me” and “Whoopty” have in common is lack of quality. Sure, I like the Indian sample but it’s quickly drowned out by the booming 808s and pretty rote drill beat. Somehow, CJ sounds too energetic and excited to the point where he’s out of place on a beat this menacing. He sounds like a joke made by a record label to create some kind of popular generic drill track and it does not help that there’s a single verse, with part of it repeated as a bridge, and two repetitions of the same over-long chorus. When Pop Smoke rapped over beats, he was aggressive, sure, but had a smoky voice and a lot more charisma than this flat tonal sandpaper CJ brings to the table. It’s almost offensive to Pop Smoke’s legacy that this was rapped over his “type beat”.

#57 – “SO DONE” – The Kid LAROI

Produced by Omar Fedi and Khaled Rohaim

I figured I’d have to talk about this guy at some point, well, what better time than in the midst of a lot of mediocre American hip hop, although this isn’t American, rather it’s actually an Aussie at it this time, with this 17-year-old kid propped up by Internet Money and Lyrical Lemonade and mentored by the late Juice WRLD. This kid really likes capital letters, and naturally I listened to his last hit “GO!” with his mentor Juice... and, yeah, it’s not good. That hook is stupidly infectious – and the pre-chorus is actually more so – but his delivery is obnoxious and unconvincing, especially in comparison to Juice on the same song. Man, I wish that entire song was as good as its pre-chorus. Anyway, this is a new song, not taken from his debut mixtape aptly and rather politely titled F*** LOVE. It uses an unorthodox ukulele loop as its main sample but once again I’m not a fan of this guy’s immature delivery. Maybe in a few years this Kid LAROI will sound less like a Kid LAROI and more like a genuine rapper but right now he is just barely keeping on beat with a jangly pop beat that would sound really interested if accentuated by the right rapper but here it doesn’t work at all. I do actually appreciate some of the lyrics here, even if they are repetitive and vague. Hey, at least they’re family-friendly PG clean for the most part so he’ll get that radio push, but it’s not like it’s matters here in the UK. I’m sure this lad is the hottest thing to come from Australia this year... okay, well, maybe the second hottest – but I’m not a fan, even if some of these melodies are promising. In fact, I really like some of his ideas, especially in the chorus, I just think that tragically, Juice could have done them more justice than this Kid LAROI ever could. Sorry.

#47 – “Bad Guy” – Morrisson and Loski

Produced by BKay and Harry James

Duh. Okay, so these are both UK drill rappers who I’m not very familiar with although I’ve heard of Loski before. Morrisson is a complete unknown to me. They’re both from London, as one would expect. Is the song any good? Well, I do like that chopped violin sample but Morrisson is only vaguely convincing when he claims to know Vinnie Jones and to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, and when he mentions getting “white-boy wasted” with a woman sniffing coke, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but that’s actually the point. I mean, the chorus says this:

You need people like me so you can point your f***ing fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy”

The issue here is I’m not convinced. Morrisson’s double-tracked vocals aren’t intimidating or menacing and are mostly overshadowed by a pretty great beat. His delivery is also something I’m not a fan of and while I can’t say he’s uninterested or not putting his all into it, it just sounds weak, especially when pitted against this beat. Loski is here too, but he doesn’t add much to the “bad guy” idea, especially when he starts talking about The Simpsons and Family Guy. Not Mr. Burns or even that angry chicken that fights Peter, just Stewie, Brian, Bart and Homer. Admittedly, “shell out the whip like Mario Kart” is a pretty fun line and I appreciate his flow more than Morrisson’s... but, yeah, I’m not really a fan. I like the concept but it misses the mark on execution.

#44 – “Golden” – Harry Styles

Produced by Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson

So this is the opening track to Styles’ sophomore effort, Fine Line, an album I thought was mildly entertaining pop rock at best and lazy, absolutely worthless trite at worst. I don’t mind Styles’ take on classic 70’s pop and glam rock but I’ve also never found it interesting, and the songs are at times disjointed and at most times just plain boring. I understand I’m probably alone in this but I really disliked this album and I’m not excited that he’s pushing yet another single. The beeping keys that start the song are immediately met with the crash of a drum beat that sounds as flat as Harry’s singing in that obnoxious, sloppy intro refrain. The verse is equally as awkward, with the song lacking in any kind of substance other than that one line of “You’re so golden” which has been overly annotated by fans on Genius to mean a lot more than it does and should. It’s a confession of love but unlike “Sofia”, there’s very little to grab onto in terms of compassion for the singer and I quickly lose interest in what little story there is to the track. The bridge with the high-pitched guitar squealing and squeaky pitch-shifted murmuring is over and done with as slowly as possible and that refrain of nonsense vocalisations just continues without fear or even self-awareness of how annoying it is. This is probably ultimately harmless but it annoys the hell out of me and whilst I predict success for the track, I really hope against it as I absolutely do not like this at all.

#39 – “Teadrops” – Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by Jordan Fish and Oliver Sykes

Yes, that Bring Me that Horizon. Yes, the metalcore band. At least they used to be metalcore and definitely on that heavier side of Kerrang!-core, but what I’m more amazed by is how they continue to ditch the sound and continue to get bigger as they do so. After 14 years, you’d think these guys would stop getting Top 40 hits – hell, the only other hit they had before 2020 was “Drown” – but this is their third this year! I’ll admit I’m not really up to speed on Bring Me the Horizon – I listened to their last record (which was just fine but honestly probably worth listening to for “wonderful life” alone) but not this EP that the singles have been from, and definitely not their older stuff. For the sake of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, however, I did listen to their earlier singles – you can’t say I don’t do much for this show – and I’m overall not really sure on how to feel about this stuff. I still like “Drown” – and always have – but I’ve never been too big on metalcore so I’m actually surprised how much I really enjoyed the Linkin Park rip on “Sleepwalking” (which I’m impressed I remembered the chorus for). I remember liking the practically nightcore track “ouch” and, yeah, it still slaps. Some tracks are very heavy on the electronic, and “Can You Feel My Heart” is reliant on that vocaloid drop, about two years before that became the norm in pop. Just from a skim of their biggest singles, I’m honestly kind of a fan, especially “Throne”, even if I feel like the EDM influences just kind of go nowhere. Also, none of this screams “metalcore” to me but I don’t know, these guys seem to change their style a lot with the only thing staying consistent being Oliver Sykes, and his tone that shifts between nasal pop-punk-style crooning and chopped-up Auto-Tune growling. I talked to a friend about them and they like their earlier stuff mostly, although he “wouldn’t recommend” their debut album to anybody at all. Another friend said he refuses to listen to their music based on the pretentious title of their third record and honestly I think that’s a pretty fair decision. This song sounds like pretty standard BMTH, or at least from what I can gather from the singles and the formula they follow. It starts with a funky and cute, chirpy electronic groove before it’s drowned out by heavier drums and heavy metal guitar riffs, but this time said electronic groove is less integral to the instrumental and the shift to a funkier bassline in the verse might honestly be for the best, although I do love the way the instrumental is chopped up a bit at the end of each repetition of the chorus. It makes the song sound a lot more unique and even if it sounds just as 2012 as their 2012 stuff, I honestly think that’s fine, especially with that abrupt sharp contrast of his raspy yelling over breakbeats quickly followed by some crooning with light piano backing, which may make the song feel messy or structurally disjointed but honestly it works for the chaotic tone of the track and the angst that is presented in the lyrics. Also, although I haven’t evaluated this band since I watched a couple videos on Kerrang!, this feels oddly nostalgic. Huh. Some additional musings: That falsetto Sykes hits in the chorus is great. My friend said that he couldn’t finish the last album they put out which isn’t a good sign but to be fair to them it was an hour-long IDM record, because, well, sure. I’ve written way too much about Bring Me the bloody Horizon at this point so I’ll just move on but I’ll make sure to check out some of their stuff after this.

#37 – “Loading” – Central Cee

Produced by HARGO

Now back to normality, at least I think so. This is another UK drill artist I’ve never heard of. I like this beat, especially that sample of the horns that I’m surprised wasn’t found by crate-digging but it works pretty well under the drill beat; it sounds like a menacing “gangster” song, especially because of how that sample reminds me of 1930s Chicago. I’m not good on my American (or gang) history so that might be nonsense but you know what I mean, right? Black-and-white footage of men in suits gambling whilst women surround them and they all got their money from drug trafficking and they send out hits. Something like that, I don’t know. The song is kind of boring though, this Cee guy has zero charisma and the references to COVID make this immediately dated (not that this song is lyrically all that interesting anyway), and by two minutes the beat has run its course and just starts getting annoying. Yeah, not much to say about this one at all, but it could have been better.

#8 – “Sweet Melody” – Little Mix

Produced by Peoples, MNEK, Morten “Rissi” Ristorp, Oliver Frid and Tayla Parx

I wonder if now that I listened to Bring Me the Horizon for half an hour straight that the last four songs all sound worse, or at least less interesting, in comparison. Well, I doubt that really, I think these songs will just end up being less interesting. I mean, five separate producers on a simple three-minute pop track? This’ll be as market-tested and manufactured as possible, as one would expect from Little Mix. I didn’t mind their last couple promo singles but this song seems to have some actual traction and even a high-budget video behind it and hence it debuted as high as #8. Well, is it any good? Well, it’s no 2013 Bring Me the Horizon, that’s for sure. Jokes aside, the nonsense vocal refrain is kind of awkward and the R&B production here is kind of minimal and just... off, particularly in the first verse and refrain, where the singing and hard 808 is met with only accompaniment from one stray snare that is just... there? The drop doesn’t feel like it has a proper build-up either, and doesn’t even feel like it lives up to that non-existent tension. I do love the harmonies towards the end of the track and the “he would lie, he would cheat over syncopated beats” line is kind of a bar, I suppose, but yeah, this production is awkward and I’m not sure if it really does the girls’ talent justice. I would have preferred something more dramatic and with more of a climax than the skittering hi-hats and vaguely dancehall-inspired bass grooves, but alas, here we are with a pretty mediocre, uninteresting track, which wasn’t exactly unexpected.

#3 – “Really Love” – KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals

Produced by Digital Farm Animals and Mojam

Ah, the trio we all didn’t know we wanted but definitely deserved(?): YouTuber KSI, legendary R&B singer Craig David and a couple virtual elephants. KSI is more than a YouTuber or prankster now to be fair to the guy, with songs like “Lighter” he has cemented himself as a genuine pop star and not in the way that songs used to get viral or even back in 2017 with Jake Paul. KSI is taking this stuff seriously and having fun with it, and, hey, he beat up Logan Paul once or twice so I guess I respect the man to some extent. I’m honestly surprised he got Craig David to be on the song with him. I mean KSI may be popular but I never put much thought into his music or even think it’s any good although the song has clearly debuted this high for a reason. Craig David has a janky hook that just plopped onto the track for a chorus and bridge, with pretty generic lyrics about love, which KSI develops on in some oddly specific ways. He’ll buy this woman Amazon Prime – I hope you enjoy the Borat sequel, guys – and she’ll “wreck his balls like Miley”. Classy. Honestly, the song is mostly fine – KSI’s flow is kind of awkward and stiff still but it’s a lot smoother than it usually is and he does deliver a pretty convincing performance here, as does Craig David, who sounds as great as he did 20 years ago over this groovy house instrumental, with a great bassline that really does fit Craig David more than it does KSI. The trap breakdown is pretty well done as well, which surprised me as I assumed the song would lose all momentum afterwards but, no, it keeps on chugging. This is listenable and far from bad but it’s mostly just a serviceable pop tune. I have no issue with this sticking around as it probably will. Now for the big one:

#1 – “positions” – Ariana Grande

Produced by TBHits, Mr. Frank and London on da Track

Man, I’ve just reviewed 12 songs, I do not feel like talking about the biggest and most important one now. Well, maybe it’s not that and instead the fact that I have this conflict with Grande’s music where someone so unbelievably and obviously talented sounds so incredibly disinterested in the songwriting and production, to the point where her performance is irrelevant. Sure, sweetener and thank u, next had their highs but the former is a complete mess and the latter feels so dull and oddly characterless. Again, these albums aren’t all bad but I feel like they’re still so rushed and infuriatingly so, with Grande having very little involvement, or at least it sounds like that in these albums. Regardless of how much she contributes to each record, it always comes out the other end sounding impersonal, so I’m actually glad she dropped the pretence and is now just doing purely sexy R&B stuff. I haven’t listened to the full album yet but with song titles like “34+35”, I can kind of expect what I’m going into here. That said, I’m not really a big fan of the title track and lead single here, although I can understand why it debuted at #1. Firstly, the video where she becomes the President of the United States for practically no reason is great. Secondly, the beat is pretty good and produced by London on da Track, who I’m kind of disappointed didn’t put his producer tag here. It would have at least been kind of funny hearing it transition into Grande’s sweet whispery vocal tone. I like the slick trap percussion, cricket sound effects and that chirpy guitar pluck, and especially those strings in the second pre-chorus which sound genuinely awesome. Ariana’s a great performer but the chorus is kind of weak, especially lyrically – I don’t mind the opening and main line about switching positions, hell, it’s kind of clever, but “I’m in the Olympics the way I’m jumping through hoops”? Really? The bridge is also pretty short and lazy; I feel like it could have actually been done away with or put as an intro and would have worked just as well replacing the second chorus with that final chorus, background whistle notes and all. That said, the song is a solid lead single and I am kind of excited to hear the rest of the album, even if this is at least somewhat of a retread.

Conclusion

What a mixed bag. I’m generally pleased with what we have here though and I am going to give Best of the Week to “Teadrops” by Bring Me the Horizon with an Honourable Mention to Polo G for “Martin & Gina”, although Clairo would have gotten close without Rostam on the boards. There’s nothing all that bad here except “Golden” by Harry Styles which does get an easy Worst of the Week, with a Dishonourable Mention to CJ’s “Whoopty” for just being lazy. Here’s this week’s “spooky” top 10 – it is Halloween after all:

You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for political ramblings if you so wish but I wouldn’t recommend it, especially if you like Keir Starmer, but all politics aside, thank you for reading this far and I’ll see you next week.

1 note · View note

eddiejpoplar · 7 years ago

Text

2018 New York Auto Show Hits, Misses, and Revelations

NEW YORK, New York — The New York International Auto Show has hereby won the right to call itself the North American International Auto Show next year, as it has usurped the erstwhile holder of that title, Detroit, with more newsy and relevant car and truck unveilings. Mercedes-Benz, BMW, and Porsche all will be here again in 2019.

This year, New York has the usual fleet of new sport/utility vehicles, including such high-volume models as the Toyota RAV4 and Subaru Forester. But there are actual autos—cars—here as well, including a Nissan Altima that proves the brand’s revived commitment to the midsize sedan segment.

And there is a concept car that has taken our breath away like no other concept, at Detroit, Los Angeles, Frankfurt, or even Geneva has, this year …

HIT: Genesis Essentia Concept

And the winner of the “Wait, that’s a Hyundai?” award goes to this breathtakingly beautiful concept car. What a work of art.

—Aaron Gold

Star of the show, and probably the auto show season. It’s exactly the sports grand touring (electric vehicle) design that Genesis needs in order to build up its luxury brand credibility.

—Todd Lassa

MISS: Cadillac XT4

The XT4 looks to be a solid ute with an efficient 2.0-liter engine, it has technology on par with the competition, and the interior looks to be well built. It’s just that it doesn’t move the compact crossover market in any real way. There’s nothing groundbreaking here. I know Cadillac is thrilled to have another crossover and it will likely sell well for them. But other than the Cadillac style, it’s just another in a crowded sea of offerings. The fact that the refreshed CT6 with its 4.2-liter twin-turbo V-8 took center stage at Cadillac’s New York show stand and not the XT4 speaks volumes.

—Mike Floyd

HIT: Cadillac XT4

Has there ever been a good small Cadillac? The former Standard of the World has been trying and failing for the better part of four decades, but it looks like they finally got it right. The XT4 is cute and playful, a little cheeky even, and yet it still has the dignity and stateliness of a proper Cadillac. The XT4 may prove be the first baby Caddy worthy of the name.

—A.G.

HIT: Cadillac CT6 refresh

Cadillac injected a good dose of Escala concept design language into the CT6’s facelift, while adding the CT6 VSport and the new twin-turbo V-8 options. I think it works. Cadillac’s successor to the Northstar V-8 has been an on-again, off-again proposition for more than a decade, as the luxury brand faced the question of whether it could credibly take on the Germans and Lexus (and now, Genesis) by sticking with the modern Chevrolet small block instead spending big cash on its own, overhead-cam V-8. The timing of its release isn’t great, but the low-volume, hand-built nature of the twin-turbo 4.2-liter suggests it will be an expensive and rare option. Now, if only Cadillac could do something about the sub-German interior quality.

—T.L

HIT: Cadillac CT6 VSport

When the CT6 first came out, I wrote a review challenging any 7 Series owner to take the twin-turbo V-6 CT6 for a spin. If they came back and said the Caddy wasn’t as good as their Bimmer, either they were lying or they didn’t know how to drive. The addition of a twin-turbo V-8 can only make this car better. Now if only Cadillac can do something about the snoozer styling…

—A.G.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Cross Sport Concept

There are a lot of compliments I can fling in the direction of the seven-set Volkswagen Atlas; “sexy” is not one of them. But now that I’ve seen the five-seat Atlas Cross Sport—whoa, Nellie. This new SUV-to-be combines the Atlas’ squared-off styling cues with the shape of the old Touareg. Love, love, love. What we saw here in New York is the concept version, but the Atlas Cross Sport is destined for production and I doubt it will look too much different. I can’t wait to see the real thing.

—A.G.

Or is it Atlas Sport Cross? Cross Atlas Sport? Hate the name, but as SUVs go, the new two-row 2020 VW Atlas is rather rakish for a sport/ute. It is to the three-row Atlas what the VW Arteon is to the Passat.

—T.L.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

Designed as a vision of how VW could potentially expand the Atlas lineup, the Tanoak’s massive mug screams truck, though the production model would likely have some functional limitations. It definitely looks cool, and given that the Atlas line is built here in the U.S., a truck version is not out of the question.

—M.F.

How do I love VW’s proposed pickup? Let me count the ways. First, I love the way the box cuts into the cab. It puts me in mind of the old Ford Explorer SportTrac, another sort-of pickup that wasn’t trying to look like a miniaturized F-150. I love the way the Atlas’ squared-off styling works on a pickup truck. And I love the fact that VW is being honest about this being a utility vehicle with a pickup bed, rather than a pickup, period. (Are you listening, Honda?) Volkswagen says they have yet to make a decision about putting the Atlas Tanoak into production, and they are gauging public reaction. Public, I implore you to react. I want this thing to happen.

—A.G.

MISS: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

Well, you asked, VW. The company says its gauging public and press reaction, and is looking at clinic and sales data before its pickup truck concept gets a green light for production. The first sport-ute pickup was the Chevy Avalanche—remember that one? —and the only unibody, transverse-engine competitor, the Honda Ridgeline, typically does well in its first year (which means, maybe 35,000 units) until everyone who wants one has one, then it settles in below 20,000 per year. The latest Ridgeline AWD gets 18/25 mpg, not much better than the V-6, 4WD Chevrolet Colorado (17/24) or Toyota Tacoma (18/22), and the Chevy and Toyota are available with both four-bangers and RWD, so where’s the unibody truck advantage? While the VW Atlas Tanoak is a credible looking, nearly full-size truck, it’s not going to do much to utilize the Chattanooga plant’s capacity.

—T.L.

What in the heck is a Tanoak? I’ll give VW credit. I highly doubt that name was trademarked and it vaguely makes me think of trees, so there’s that.

—M.F.

HIT: Light up VW badge

VW showed this on their Atlas concepts. Please, Volkswagen, make this happen. Please.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Tanoak is a tree. Don’t name your pickup after a tree.

If you’re going to build the Tanoak, Volkswagen, and you probably will despite my objections, please, please change its name to something relevant to your brand: VW Atlas Chicken Tax Exemption.

—T.L.

HIT: Genesis G70

Three words: Manual friggin’ transmission.

—A.G.

We were still reveling in the stunning beauty of the Genesis Essentia when Hyundai’s nascent luxury brand unveiled its BMW 3 Series competitor, the G70. Already, the fluid, organic lines of the Essentia have translated to a production model. That should be no excuse for denying the Essentia EV production, however.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 GMC Sierra AT4

This would have totally been on my “hit” list but for the wheels, which, like the Grinch’s heart, are two sizes too small.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Something else for Bugatti?

I spoke with Stephan Winkelmann, who has bounced from his longtime role with Lamborghini to Audi and then to help launch Audi Sport, about what’s next from his current Volkswagen Group brand, Bugatti. As always with any exec, he wouldn’t talk specifics, but when I asked if there was room for something else coming for Bugatti beyond the Chiron variants, his non-answer (“I think the brand has a lot of opportunities to do more”) and grin spoke volumes. It seems silly to put Winkelmann in charge of a brand to simply oversee 500 Chirons being built. My money is on some sort of SUV, because of course.

— M.F.

HIT: Lincoln Aviator

When I first saw the design sketches of the Aviator, I thought, Oh, here we go, another Range Rover clone. Shouldn’t someone remind Ford that they sold Jag-Land Rover years ago? But after seeing the new Aviator in person, I changed my tune. This is a good-looking Lincoln with handsome proportions and a great interior. The promise of rear-wheel-drive is, well, promising. Lincoln is keeping mum on the powertrain specifics, only saying that it’s a twin-turbo engine, but if it’s anything like the 400-hp grin-generator in the Continental, then life with this Lincoln is going to be very, very good.

—A.G.

HIT: 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback

The present Corolla iM hatch looked decent, but it didn’t excite in any real way. The significantly reworked 2019 Corolla hatch has the potential to change that, thanks to its new TNGA platform underpinnings and Toyota’s new 2.0-liter engine mated to either a six-speed manual or CVT with a launch mode. No power ratings yet, but it should top at least 150 horses. Kudos to Toyota for keeping the hatch in the Corolla lineup. I hope it drives as good as it looks.

—M.F.

HIT: Nissan Altima

Looks like the Altima has picked up some of the Maxima’s mojo, and I love it. I’m sure some will disagree with me, but I think this is a great looking car inside and out. I can’t say I’m optimistic about the driving experience, not after the lackluster showing of the Rogue and Rogue Sport, but I’m hopeful that Nissan can pull some of that old-time magic out of its hats and make this Altima as good to drive as it is to look at.

—A.G.

It seemed Nissan had given up on sedans when the now-retiring Altima came out, and went straight-to-rental. But the new one, with its optional variable compression turbo four (replacing the V-6 option) and an interior that would have been considered premium a decade ago, indicates that Nissan is as dedicated to the future of its sedans as is Honda.

—T.L.

HIT: 2019 Toyota RAV4

Whoa. Wait. What? When I first saw the new RAV4, I figured it was an early April Fool’s joke. Nope—despite the fact that the current conservatively-styled RAV is selling like ecstasy at a rave (do either of those things still exist?), Toyota has taken the RAV4’s styling in a completely new direction—and what a stunner it is. Some of Toyota’s recent designs have been a bit awkward, but I think this one works, inside and out. In a way, it reminds me of the love child that might result from the coupling of a 4Runner and a Venza. That’s a good thing. Let’s hope the market agrees.

—A.G.

Toyota has split the RAV4 into two designs, both ditching the Camry-like nose. The Adventure series comes with a Tacoma-like grille that’s supposed to make you think you’re driving body-on-frame sport/utility, which doesn’t quite work on that level, though it does take a lot of the “cute” out of this cute/ute.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 Subaru Forester

I know, I know—you don’t mess with success. Still, did Subaru have to make the new Forester look so much like the old Forester? Frankly, I’d be perfectly happy if the new car looked more like the first-gen Forester. Twenty years is long enough for a retro-mobile, right?

—A.G.

REVELATION: Subaru’s design “aesthetic

Look at the Mark I Forester on Subaru’s stand, and you can see that the Crosstrek has replaced that model [full disclosure: I just bought a new Crosstrek] in the brand’s expanding lineup. The Forester is compact SUV-sized, which is to say, like a Honda CR-V, Toyota RAV4, etc., and like those rivals has grown over the years. As for the design, well, you generally don’t buy from this brand for the styling, so much as the anti-styling.

—T.L.

MISS: Acura TLX 2.4 A-Spec

At its press conference, Acura mentioned that the V-6-powered TLX A-Spec was proving to be a big hit with younger and more affluent buyers, so they have decided to bring out a version of this car with the 2.4 liter engine. Er… guys… First, it’s the V-6 engine that makes this car. Second, why would affluent buyers opt for the cheaper engine? I can’t see this going well at all. Why not put the Accord’s 2.0T engine in the TLX? Now that would be an A-Spec to get excited about. Save us, RDX!

—A.G.

HIT—I hope: 2019 Acura RDX

The current RDX is, in my opinion, one of the better vehicles in Acura’s lineup; the fact that it’s an aging and fairly conservative design, both visually and mechanically, doesn’t say much about this lost-in-the-weeds brand. But the new RDX looks to be a ray of hope. With a longer-and-lower look than the current car, it’s attractive without being silly. The 2.0-liter turbo engine should prove to be just as much of a gem here as it is in the Accord (assumi from Performance Junk Blogger 6 https://ift.tt/2J5u7Sz via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger 6

0 notes

jonathanbelloblog · 7 years ago

Text

2018 New York Auto Show Hits, Misses, and Revelations

And there is a concept car that has taken our breath away like no other concept, at Detroit, Los Angeles, Frankfurt, or even Geneva has, this year …

HIT: Genesis Essentia Concept

And the winner of the “Wait, that’s a Hyundai?” award goes to this breathtakingly beautiful concept car. What a work of art.

—Aaron Gold

Star of the show, and probably the auto show season. It’s exactly the sports grand touring (electric vehicle) design that Genesis needs in order to build up its luxury brand credibility.

—Todd Lassa

MISS: Cadillac XT4

—Mike Floyd

HIT: Cadillac XT4

—A.G.

HIT: Cadillac CT6 refresh

—T.L

HIT: Cadillac CT6 VSport

—A.G.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Cross Sport Concept

—A.G.

—T.L.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

—M.F.

—A.G.

MISS: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

—T.L.

What in the heck is a Tanoak? I’ll give VW credit. I highly doubt that name was trademarked and it vaguely makes me think of trees, so there’s that.

—M.F.

HIT: Light up VW badge

VW showed this on their Atlas concepts. Please, Volkswagen, make this happen. Please.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Tanoak is a tree. Don’t name your pickup after a tree.

If you’re going to build the Tanoak, Volkswagen, and you probably will despite my objections, please, please change its name to something relevant to your brand: VW Atlas Chicken Tax Exemption.

—T.L.

HIT: Genesis G70

Three words: Manual friggin’ transmission.

—A.G.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 GMC Sierra AT4

This would have totally been on my “hit” list but for the wheels, which, like the Grinch’s heart, are two sizes too small.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Something else for Bugatti?

— M.F.

HIT: Lincoln Aviator

—A.G.

HIT: 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback

—M.F.

HIT: Nissan Altima

—A.G.

—T.L.

HIT: 2019 Toyota RAV4

—A.G.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 Subaru Forester

—A.G.

REVELATION: Subaru’s design “aesthetic

—T.L.

MISS: Acura TLX 2.4 A-Spec

—A.G.

HIT—I hope: 2019 Acura RDX

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger Feed 4

0 notes

jesusvasser · 7 years ago

Text

2018 New York Auto Show Hits, Misses, and Revelations

And there is a concept car that has taken our breath away like no other concept, at Detroit, Los Angeles, Frankfurt, or even Geneva has, this year …

HIT: Genesis Essentia Concept

And the winner of the “Wait, that’s a Hyundai?” award goes to this breathtakingly beautiful concept car. What a work of art.

—Aaron Gold

Star of the show, and probably the auto show season. It’s exactly the sports grand touring (electric vehicle) design that Genesis needs in order to build up its luxury brand credibility.

—Todd Lassa

MISS: Cadillac XT4

—Mike Floyd

HIT: Cadillac XT4

—A.G.

HIT: Cadillac CT6 refresh

—T.L

HIT: Cadillac CT6 VSport

—A.G.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Cross Sport Concept

—A.G.

—T.L.

HIT: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

—M.F.

—A.G.

MISS: Volkswagen Atlas Tanoak Concept

—T.L.

What in the heck is a Tanoak? I’ll give VW credit. I highly doubt that name was trademarked and it vaguely makes me think of trees, so there’s that.

—M.F.

HIT: Light up VW badge

VW showed this on their Atlas concepts. Please, Volkswagen, make this happen. Please.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Tanoak is a tree. Don’t name your pickup after a tree.

If you’re going to build the Tanoak, Volkswagen, and you probably will despite my objections, please, please change its name to something relevant to your brand: VW Atlas Chicken Tax Exemption.

—T.L.

HIT: Genesis G70

Three words: Manual friggin’ transmission.

—A.G.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 GMC Sierra AT4

This would have totally been on my “hit” list but for the wheels, which, like the Grinch’s heart, are two sizes too small.

—A.G.

REVELATION: Something else for Bugatti?

— M.F.

HIT: Lincoln Aviator

—A.G.

HIT: 2019 Toyota Corolla Hatchback

—M.F.

HIT: Nissan Altima

—A.G.

—T.L.

HIT: 2019 Toyota RAV4

—A.G.

—T.L.

MISS: 2019 Subaru Forester

—A.G.

REVELATION: Subaru’s design “aesthetic

—T.L.

MISS: Acura TLX 2.4 A-Spec

—A.G.

HIT—I hope: 2019 Acura RDX

#IFTTT #Performance Junk WP Feed 4

0 notes