#there is not enough yoko content

[gardenschedule]

What Happened In India?

(or around that time...)

Link to masterpost of quote compilations

Before

Shortly before we were due to leave for India John spent the weekend with Derek Taylor, a former journalist who had become the Beatles' press spokesman and a good friend to us all. He, his wife Joan and their five children lived in a big country house where they seemed incredibly contented. When he came home after that weekend John put his arms around me and said, 'Let's have loads more kids, Cyn, and be really happy' Despite my increasingly strong feeling that John was slipping away from me, it seemed at moments like that as though nothing had changed. John was off drugs and seemed almost like his old self. 'We can make it work, Cyn,' he said. 'When we're in India we'll have time for us and everything will be fine.' I hoped he was right.

John (Cynthia Lennon)

Cyn hoped that Rishikesh would afford seclusion, privacy and an opportunity for her and John to rediscover each other and to revive their marriage. ‘Impossible hopes,’ she said sadly. ‘John said to me just before we went to India that he wanted us to have more children. Well that came out of the blue, I can tell you. I was really surprised, as he’d never said a word about that before.

Lesley-Ann Jones - The Search for John Lennon

Cynthia: “It was a time for us all to drop out for a while. The years of fame and fortune had taken their toll on our nerves and minds. John and I both felt closer. There seemed to be a greater possibility of our finding a solution to personal difficulties. If our trip to India wasn’t going to solve our emotional problems, then nothing would.”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

That letter made it crystal clear that they [John and Yoko] had been in contact. How well had they got to know one another? I tackled John, who told me she'd written many times, both letters and cards, but said, 'She's crackers, just a weirdo artist who wants me to sponsor her. Another nutter wanting money for all that avant-garde bullshit. It's not important.' I had no way of knowing whether he was telling me the truth. He sounded genuine, but a sixth sense told me there was more to this than he was admitting. I tried to put it to the back of my mind. We were going to India, and I wanted that to be a special time for us.

John (Cynthia Lennon)

John panicked at the accumulating threats from the Princess of Darkness. That was when he decided to go to India with Cynthia to put some distance between himself and Yoko. If he stayed away long enough, he could hope Yoko would just go away. Maybe she’d go back to America, or vanish in a puff of smoke. Her scissors act might go horribly wrong, or while she was bagged up one day the Royal Mail might frank the bag and deliver it to anywhere but India. Yes, a long trip to the ashram, where he could meditate and learn how to be calm and in control, give up drugs and spend romantic moments with Cynthia and glue his crumbling marriage back together, seemed opportune.

Magical Mystery Tours My Life with The Beatles by Tony Bramwell

“I don’t like the unhappiness she [Yoko] caused. She was horrible. John wanted to avoid her at first. He said, ‘Get rid of the bloody woman!’ But after India, he saw her differently — perhaps filtered through an exotic mindset.”

Tony Bramwell - the band’s ex-road manager

During

“The pressure of being the Beatles had driven a wedge between them individually and that had all percolated in the months leading up to their visit to Rishikesh,” he said. “Once they got there, and they unburdened themselves from all of that, they reconnected with their songwriting and their creativity. It just flowed forth.”

Bob Spitz to the New York Times

 “I was in a room for five days meditating,” said Lennon in The Beatles Anthology. “I wrote hundreds of songs. I couldn’t sleep and I was hallucinating like crazy, having dreams where you could smell. I’d do a few hours and they you’d trip off, three- or four-hour stretches. It was just a way of getting there, and you could go on amazing trips.” Cynthia Lennon said in Bob Spitz’s book The Beatles that for John, nothing else mattered when it came to mediation, adding “John and George were [finally] in their element [at the ashram]. They threw themselves totally into the Maharishi’s teachings, were happy, relaxed and above all found a piece of mind that had been denied them for so long.”

The Beatles in India: 16 Things You Didn’t Know

I was right in the Maharishi’s camp writing “I wanna die” you know. I’m So Tired and Yer Blues where they were pretty sort of realistic, you know, they were about me

Lennon Remembers

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da was born on the steps of one of the low slung cottages where the entourage lived. One day, remembers Saltzman, he was passing by the cottage when he saw Lennon and McCartney sitting on the front steps and strumming the tune on their acoustic guitars. He ran back, picked up the camera and took pictures of the two with a pensive-looking Starr sitting on the side, from outside a wicket gate. Saltzman remembers the two were singing the first two lines of the song "over and over again, going fast and slow, having fun". "That's the riff we have," McCartney told Saltzman, "but no words yet".

filmmaker Paul Saltzman

Jenny Boyd, Patti’s sister “I sat with John a lot, since he didn’t feel well, either from terrible jet lag, and insomnia. He would stay up late; unable to sleep, and write the songs that would later appear on The Beatles’ White Album. When I was at my lowest, he made a drawing of a turbaned Sikh genie holding a big snake and intoning, ‘By the power within, and the power without, I cast your tonsil lighthouse out!’ Sometimes, late at night, I can still hear John singing those sad songs he wrote during those evenings, like ‘I’m So Tired.’”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

John “I went to the Maharishi and, regardless of what I was supposed to be doing, I did write some of my best songs while I was there. It was a nice scene. Nice and secure and everybody was always smiling. The experience was worth it if only for the songs that came out. It could have been the desert or Ben Nevis. The funny thing about the Maharishi camp was that, although it was very beautiful and I was meditating about eight hours a day, I was writing the most miserable songs on earth, like ‘I’m So Tired’ and ‘Yer Blues.’”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

Meanwhile, I was not having the second honeymoon I'd hoped for. John was becoming increasingly cold and aloof towards me. He would get up early and leave our room. He spoke to me very little, and after a week or two he announced that he wanted to move into a separate room to give himself more space. From then on he virtually ignored me, both in private and in public. If the others noticed they didn't say so. I did my best to understand, begging him to explain what was wrong. He fobbed me off, telling me that it was just the effect of the meditation. 'I can't feel normal doing all this stuff,' He said. 'I'm trying to get myself together. It's nothing to do with you. Give me a break.' What I didn't know was that each morning he rushed down to the post office to see if he had a letter from Yoko. She was writing to him almost daily. When I learnt this later I felt very hurt.

John (Cynthia Lennon)

And because the Beatles didn’t know anything about ashrams and they haven’t seen anything before because they went for Maharishi, not for the ashram. Maharishi didn’t allow men to stay with their wives. John was delighted with the idea. He loved it, actually. I think it made Cynthia very unhappy. She wanted to stay with John, everybody had his own problems. My great interest was with John. I was very happy because I found John much healthier. The color in his face was different and he was happier and he took the whole thing very seriously, and he was trying hard and he was so excited when I arrived because perhaps I was part of the reason he was there.

Magic Alex in All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

We all went through a depression after Maharishi and Brian died; it wasn’t really to do with Maharishi, it was just that period. I was really going through the “What’s it all about?” type thing – this songwriting is nothing, it’s pointless, and I’m no good, I’m not talented, and I’m shitty, and I couldn’t do anything but be a Beatle. What am I going to do about it? It lasted nearly two years and I was still in it during Pepper. I know Paul wasn’t at the time; he was feeling full of confidence, and I was going through murder during those periods. I was just about coming out of it around Maharishi, even though Brian had died – that knocked us back again. Well, it knocked me back.

John Lennon, interview w/ Barry Miles, (partially) unpublished. (September 23rd, 1969)

By spending two months in deep meditation in India, John brought his deepest problems to the surface but he was unable to resolve them: the contradiction between his family life and his life as a rock star with all the drugs and groupies was too great. Had he stayed with the Maharishi until the end of the course, he might have avoided some of the pain, but by terminating the instruction abruptly, he was left hanging in thin air. During the weeks at the camp, he had been receiving daily letters from Yoko, though nothing sexual had yet happened between them. He was very attracted by her but he felt tremendous guilt about breaking up his marriage: doing to Julian what his own parents had done to him, repeating the pattern.

Many Years From Now - Barry Miles

He [Mick Jagger] told me with amusement that the real reason why the Beatles left the Maharishi was that he made a pass at one of them: “They’re simple north-country lads; they’re terribly uptight about all that.” Am still not sure if I believe this story.

“The Sixties,” the second volume of Christopher Isherwood’s diaries

After

And I was slowly putting myself together after Maharishi, bit by bit over a two year period. I destroyed me ego and I didn’t believe I could do anything. I let Paul do what he want and say, them all of them do what they want, I was just nothing, I was shit. And then Derek tripped me out at his house after he got back from LA, and he sort of said you’re all right and pointed out which songs I’d written, and ‘you wrote this and you said this, you are intelligent, don’t be frightened’. And then next week I went down with Yoko and tripped out again and she filled me completely to realize I was me and it was alright.

Lennon Remembers

So much had changed since I’d last seen the Beatles just a few months previously. They had come back from their trip to India completely different people. They had once been fastidious and fashionable; now they were scruffy and unkempt. They had once been witty and full of humor; now they were solemn and prickly. They had once been bonded together as lifelong friends; now they resented one another’s company. They had once been lighthearted and fun to be around. Now they were angry.

Here, There and Everywhere - Geoff Emerick, Howard Massey

The rage that was bubbling inside John was the most obvious sign that something was seriously wrong. There was new tension between John and Paul, and even between John and Ringo, in addition to the often strained relationship that Paul had with George and the resentment that Ringo sometimes exhibited when Paul coached him too much on drum parts. In fact, the only two Beatles who seemed to get along during the White Album sessions were John and George. Perhaps that came from the experience they had shared at the ashram—after all, they were the two who had stuck it out, staying on long after Ringo and Paul had gone back home. Maybe they felt deserted by their bandmates, or betrayed. The undercurrents between the four Beatles were so complex at that point, it gave me a headache just thinking about it.

Here, There and Everywhere - Geoff Emerick, Howard Massey

Our first night back in the studio began, as usual, with small talk and catching up. “So how was India?” I asked. “India was okay, I guess… apart from that nasty little Maharishi,” John replied, venomously. Harrison looked deflated, as if it were a conversation they’d had many times before. With a deep sigh, he tried to calm his agitated bandmate. “Oh come on, he wasn’t that bad,” he interjected, earning a withering glance. Lennon’s bitterness and anger seemed almost palpable. Ringo tried deflecting things with a little humor. “It reminded me of a Butlins holiday camp, only the bloody food wasn’t as good,” he said with a wink. I glanced in Paul’s direction. He was staring straight ahead, expressionless and weary. He didn’t have much to say about India that day, or any other. I sensed at that moment that something fundamental in them had changed. They were searching for something, but they didn’t know quite what it was; they had journeyed to India looking for answers, and they were disappointed that they hadn’t found them there… but it seemed to me that they didn’t even know the questions.

Here, There and Everywhere - Geoff Emerick, Howard Massey

“By all accounts, John had hit an all-time low [after India]. “John was in a rage because God had forsaken him,” George recalled. “Then he went and completely reversed himself. He turned from being positive to being totally negative.” According to Pete Shotton, who was spending time with John at Weybridge, there was an overriding feeling of humiliation—from the Maharishi, from the Apple Boutique shambles, from his deteriorating marriage, from what he felt was his shrinking position in the Beatles. “He was more fucked up than I’d even seen him,” Shotton remembers. “It seemed like everything was going to the dogs. He’d been desperately grasping [at] straws, as far as I was concerned, and there wasn’t even a straw there.”

the beatles: the biography, bob spitz

JOHN: How can two women split up four strong men? It’s impossible. You know, The Beatles were disintegrating slowly after Brian Epstein died, it was a slow death, and it was happening. It was evident in Let It Be – uh, although Linda and Yoko were evident then, but they weren’t when it started, I don’t think. It was evident in – in India, when George and I stayed there and Paul and Ringo left.

October, 1971 (St Regis Hotel, New York)

There was little need for me to repeat my instructions. As soon as we got there, it was obvious that things were not hunky-dory with the Beatles. Their recent month-long meditation retreat with the Maharishi didn’t seem to have helped their relationships very much, and the estrangement was definitely having an effect on their work. I don’t think any actual recording got done that night. Paul, George and Ringo were rehearsing some new songs, trying different ways of playing and singing them. Meanwhile, John spent most of his time sitting on the floor next to Yoko, chatting privately with her as she stroked his hair. He seemed no more involved in the proceedings than me and Lawrence, who watched the uncomfortable tension building from the other side of the studio. “Hey John.” Paul turned around to face him at one point. “Are you in this band or what?”

Leslie Cavendish, The Cutting Edge: The Story of the Beatles’ Hairdresser Who Defined an Era

Back at Kenwood John continued to be distant towards me. Now that we were away from the others and the charms of India, I felt increasingly afraid and depressed. John and I were back in the same bed, but the warmth and passion we had shared for so long were absent. John seemed barely to notice me. He was little better with Julian and was more likely to snap at him than give him a hug. There was just one moment of real warmth between us and that was, ironically, when John confessed to me that he had been unfaithful. We were in the kitchen when he said, out of the blue, 'There have been other women, you know, Cyn.'

John (Cynthia Lennon)

On the flight back from India, he had gotten very drunk and, for some reason, decided to confess all his affairs to Cynthia. Brutally, he ticked off a very long list, which included groupies, models, prostitutes, the wives and girlfriends of his and Cynthia’s friends and, possibly cruelest of all, Cynthia’s own girlfriends. Cynthia felt totally betrayed.

Magical Mystery Tours My Life with The Beatles by Tony Bramwell

The shattering of his faith in the Maharishi, meanwhile, had left John spiritually adrift once more; his instinctive response was to return with a vengeance to his former drug habits. (Like the other Beatles, John had totally abstained from alcohol and drugs while in India.) In retrospect, it's easy to see how wide open John was, at this particular juncture, to anything—or anybody—that might conceivably lift him out of his rut.

The Beatles, Lennon, and me - Pete Shotton

PAUL: I gave myself a set period, and then if it was gonna be something we really had to go back for, I was thinking of going back. But at the end of my month I was quite happy and I thought… this’ll do me. This is fine. If I want to get into it heavy, I can do it anywhere. That’s one of the nice things about it, you don’t have to go to church to do it, you can do it in your own room. So I was quite happy.

RINGO: I left just a little disillusioned, and John was a little disillusioned when he came back, and Paul was. [pause] George just loved it.

1993 rough cut of the Anthology series

Although Paul was the first to leave [India] disillusioned, John left in the mind of, ‘OK, well, we tried, we surrendered to God but it wasn’t God, it was Maharishi and this God thing is proving itself to be a total fallacy’ - and then went back to being The Beatles.

I left Rishikesh with John. Alex [Madras] had been the naughty boy who’d stirred everything up. John went in a rage because God had forsaken him (although it was nothing to do with God, really). Then he went and completely reversed himself. He turned from being positive to being totally negative.

I went to South India […] and everything that happened to me went wrong to the point that I felt, like John and Alex, that the Maharishi had put the heeby-jeebies in me.

George Harrison, c/o Derek Taylor, Fifty Years Adrift. (1984)

JOHN: I’ve got no regrets at all, ‘cause it was a groove and I had some great experiences meditating eight hours a day—some amazing things, some amazing trips— it was great. And I still meditate off and on. George is doing it regularly. And I believe implicitly in the whole bit. It’s just that it’s difficult to continue it. I lost the rosy glasses. And I’m like that. I’m very idealistic. So I can’t really manage my exercises when I’ve lost that. I mean, I don’t want to be a boxer so much. It’s just that a few things happened, or didn’t happen. I don’t know, but something happened. It was sort of like a click and we just left and I don’t know what went on. It’s too near—I don’t really know what happened.

John Lennon, interview w/ Jonathan Cott for Rolling Stone: The first Rolling Stone interview. (November 23rd, 1968)

Cynthia Lennon “John had taken acid once more and enthused, ‘Cyn, it was great. Christ Cyn, we’ve got to have lots more children. We’ve got to have a big family around us.’ At this point, I burst into tears … All I could blurt out was that, in no way, could I see us as he did. I was so disturbed by John’s outburst, that I even suggested that Yoko Ono was the woman for him. John protested at my crazy suggestion and suggested that I was being ridiculous. Although life went on as usual, my fears grew and I felt nervous and depressed. John was aware of my depression and suggested that, as he had to work for long hours in the recording studios for a few weeks, I should accompany Jenny, Donovan, Gyspy and Alexis on a holiday to Greece. The very thought of sun and sea really brightened my outlook.”

The Beatles Off the Record (Keith Badman)

During the spring of 1968, John was as confused, lonely, and unhappy as I'd seen him in years. Though his relationship with the other Beatles was still free of serious strain, he was seeing increasingly less of Paul and George, both of whom were now pursuing independent lives and interests of their own.

In My Life, Pete Shotton

The resentment might have been coming from a different place. With his marital problems still unsettled and Cynthia gallivanting around Greece, drugs continued to govern John’s fitful moods. He dosed himself continuously with LSD, tweaking its random effect with any spare pills he happened to find lying around the house. In the right company, it plunged John into a deep, unfathomable trance that altered between indecipherable rambling and deadpan silences. At Weybridge, into which Pete Shotton had moved in order to keep his friend company, he stayed up nights, tripping and battling wave after wave of incendiary rage. One night, after the usual snack of hallucinogens, Shotton says he noticed John moving his arms around very slowly in a circle. “I said, ‘What are you doing?’ ” recalls Pete, “but John couldn’t explain it. He said, ‘I can’t stop. There’s something making me do this. I can’t help myself.’ ” Tears followed, uncontrollable rivers of tears, intermingled with hideous laughter. When Shotton tried to comfort him, John resisted. “I’m not crying,” he insisted peevishly, wiping his eyes with the back of a hand. Suddenly John declared that he was Jesus Christ, back from the grave. “He was convinced of it,” Pete recalls, “saying… ‘This is it, at last—I know who I am.’ ” The next day the Messiah convened an emergency meeting at Apple to announce his identity to the other Beatles. Unimpressed, they said: “Yeah, all right then. What shall we do now?” After someone suggested lunch, the matter was dropped.

That night at Weybridge, in the middle of another drug-induced reverie, the TV flickered off, whereupon John, already chastened and in a self-abasing mood, asked Pete if it was okay if he invited a woman to the house. Shotton, who had no intention of staying up another night with his friend, was relieved. “Well, I think I’ll call up Yoko,” John said.

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

What happened that night can only be left to the imagination, but since it patently wasn’t the coming together of two virgins for the very first time, did Yoko do her hypnotism thing, as some of John’s friends thought she had, or did she have a powerful new drug in her arsenal? Nobody really believed that John fell in love overnight, because why hadn’t he done so before? He’d been kicking Yoko in and out of his life for over a year. Mostly, he had given the impression that he resented and despised her. So it must have been something pretty potent that made John fall headlong out of his casual affair with her into a mad obsession. Perhaps it was that he really was mentally ill and like many schizoid personalities, got religious mania. If he really did believe that he was Jesus, Yoko would probably have convinced him she was the Virgin Mary. A virgin at any rate. John was shortly to tell the world that they spent the night at the top of the house in his bloodred music room, recording the Two Virgins tape. They say that a moose in heat can waken the dead and achieve the impossible with his bellows. John and Yoko spent the night screaming.

Magical Mystery Tours My Life with The Beatles by Tony Bramwell

Whatever her reasoning, Cynthia remained determined to see the marriage through [after finding John and Yoko together]. Convinced that John still needed her, she returned to Kenwood, mollified by his apparent denial that anything improper had occurred. “For a while, everything was wonderful,” she recalled. “We could speak more openly and honestly with each other, and there really was a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.”

But the tunnel was short, and the light soon faded. Within weeks their life together had disintegrated into a revolving state of solicitude and withdrawal, resignation and despondence. Following a stretch when John became disturbingly incommunicative, Cynthia packed once again, escaping on still another vacation to Pesaro, Italy, with her mother, Julian, and a favorite aunt and uncle.

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

No sooner were they back from India, than Jane returned to her work at the Bristol Old Vic, and Paul launched into what was probably the most relaxed time of his life. He opened wide the doors of Cavendish Avenue and the groupies, who had camped as faithfully outside as they had in Wimpole Street during the years that Paul had lived there with the Asher family, were astonished to find they were now invited in. Not only were they invited into the house, but also into Paul’s bed. Whenever I went up to see Paul, the house was filled with giggling, half-naked girls, cooking meals, walking Martha, or glued to the phone for hours on end, calling the world.

Magical Mystery Tours My Life with The Beatles by Tony Bramwell

It came as a welcome relief that John and Paul, along with Neil Aspinall, planned a quick trip to New York on May 11, where several press events had been scheduled to announce Apple Records in the States. Friends agreed that getting John away might do him a world of good; being alone, with just Paul to steady him, might have a calming influence. But Paul was grappling with his own set of anxieties. “We wanted a grand launch,” Paul said, “but I had a strange feeling and was very nervous.” Drugs, he later admitted, may have been at the root of his problem; there was a lot of dope-smoking before takeoff and even during the transatlantic flight. But Jane Asher also helped spike Paul’s mood. The grudging engagement between Beatle and actress had been ticklish at best. But since traveling together in India and a subsequent ten-day trip to Scotland, Jane’s eccentricities rankled. Paul was having serious second thoughts about the relationship, which had reached a kind of critical, now-or-never stage.

Between John’s attitude and Paul’s paranoia, the Beatles were a PR nightmare. “It was a mad, bad week in New York,” recalled Derek Taylor, who met the two Beatles there to chaperone a round of press conferences, followed by interviews. Taylor had fashioned himself into a debonair drug aficionado since the Beatles first dosed him at Brian Epstein’s housewarming party, and now he and John gorged themselves on speed and a “mild and extremely benign hallucinogen” called Purple Holiday, courtesy of their New York chauffeur. The effect of it came through in the interviews. John was gallingly withdrawn and dismissive, Paul unusually distracted—which made them come off as two rich, snooty rock stars peddling another product.

The Beatles – Bob Spitz

“WHITE: ‘Not Guilty’, on George Harrison, written during the sessions for the Beatles’ White Album, was a pointed barb at your old bandmates. GEORGE: It was me getting pissed off at Lennon and McCartney for the grief I was catching during the making of the White Album. I said I wasn’t guilty of getting in the way of their careers. I said I wasn’t guilty of leading them astray in our all going to Rishikesh to see the Maharishi. I was sticking up for myself, and the song came off strong enough to be saved and utilized.”

George Harrison, interview w/ Timothy White for Musician: The quiet Beatle finally talks… about everything. (November, 1987)

+ a couple of extra things

A quick timeline

December 25 Paul and Jane announced that they were engaged to be married.

February 15 George, Patti, John and Cynthia flew from London Airport to India.

February 19 Paul, Jane, Ringo and Maureen flew from London Airport to India.

March 26 Paul, Jane and Neil Aspinall flew back to England from Rishikesh, leaving George and Patti, John and Cynthia and “Magic” Alex who had come out to join them.

April 12 John and Cynthia, George and Patti and “Magic” Alex left in a hurry from Rishikesh, India, after “Magic” Alex convinced John and George that the Maharishi was using his position to gain sexual favours from at least one of the female meditators.

May 11 John and Paul, accompanied by “Magic” Alex, Neil Aspinall, Mal Evans, Ron Kass and Derek Taylor, flew to New York to launch Apple in the US.

May 15 Accompanied by Linda, Nat Weiss drove John, Paul and “Magic” Alex to the airport for their flight back to London.

May 19 With Cynthia taking a short holiday, John called Yoko Ono and invited her out to Kenwood. They made a random sound tape, which was later issued as Two Virgins with the notorious sleeve showing them both naked.

May 26 Cynthia returned home from a brief holiday in Greece, to discover Yoko Ono in residence with John.

May 31 Abbey Road. The White Album sessions. Work continued on ‘Revolution 1’ and the last six minutes was removed to form the basis of the chaotic ‘Revolution 9’. Yoko screamed on the track, her first appearance on a Beatles recording.

June 4 Paul began seeing Francie Schwartz.

June 22-23 On this day Paul McCartney addressed a sales conference attended by executives from Capitol Records, where he announced that all future Beatles records would be released through the group’s Apple Records label. The day after they fell in love in Los Angeles, Paul McCartney and Linda Eastman spent much of the day together at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where he was staying as part of an Apple promotional trip.

July 20 Jane Asher, appearing on Simon Dee’s BBC Television show Dee Time, said that her engagement to Paul was off – but that it was not she that had broken it. She told Dee that they had been engaged for seven months, after knowing each other for five years. (She had arrived back at Cavendish Avenue one day to find Paul in bed with a girl named Francie Schwartz.)

The Beatles Diary Volume 1 The Beatles Years (Barry Miles) & https://www.beatlesbible.com/

A comment from Heydullblog, which I find interesting and think sums up how insufficient & unsatisfying most explanations are for how John changed during this period:

Michael Gerber November 25, 2021 at 4:31 pm

What, in all that, makes you HATE Cyn, and divorce her in the most abrupt and vicious way, even attempting to get her to commit adultery so you can give her (and your own son) as little as possible? Why not a quick and amiable divorce from a woman who, let’s be honest, knew she was getting cheated on pretty constantly since 1961.

What, in all that, makes you HATE Paul McCartney, who has been your closest professional collaborator since 1957, and engage in a five-year campaign to smear and demean him in the press? Why do you insist your millions of fans choose you or him? Why not simply pause the group, and everybody goes solo and remains friends, as was predicted at the end of touring?

What makes you DETERMINED to bust up your rock group, the most popular group in the world, the source of all your fame, money, and power?

What makes you pick Yoko Ono IN PARTICULAR out of all the groupies, hangers-on, and even sensible appropriate partners within your current circle? Eighteen months ago you were attracted to Maureen Cleave, Sonny Freeman, Alma Cogan, etc — pretty much the type of women you always picked — but now, you pick a conceptual artist offering total submersion into someone else’s ego?

And what makes you spend the rest of your life pretending all this was the greatest thing ever, the fullest flowering of your genius?

It’s not that John Lennon looked around at his life in early 1968 and thought, “I don’t want this anymore. This isn’t for me.” It’s that he lashed out incredibly fiercely, in every direction, made no distinction between friend and foe, demonstrated a huge amount of resentment and bitterness towards the very people who it would seem had helped him the most, and spent literally the rest of his short life at least arguably LESS happy than he’d been before. He didn’t dump his wife for the nanny and live happily ever after; he started a process of picking things up and throwing them away with great force that, if he’d been that way in 1957, would’ve kept any of his genius from ever emerging.

He changed, fundamentally, in a short time. Why?

Midlife crises happen, they are to be expected, but this one gets more singular the more you look at it. And the thing about post-India Lennon is how he’s no more happy, no more productive, no more self-aware, no more comfortable in his own skin, than pre-India Lennon. What does the guy in August 1980 have to be angry about? Really? It was only after I reached middle-age and went through my own version of crisis (crises) that I thought, “How strange.”

[writing-rat]

Ice Skating

Pairings: Wednesday x Enid

Content: Fluf

Summary: Wednesday and the Nightshades go ice skating.

WC: 666

It was nearly the end of Wednesday’s 2nd Winter semester and she was happy. She had a new life it felt like and she was happy. She had friends (consisting of Bianca, Yoko, Divina, Kent, Ajax and Eugene) and she had a girlfriend which was Enid. She was happy about it, and Weems was still alive too. Everyone but Bianca was sat down at the lunch table as they were chatting. “Yo, everyone got a pair of skates? The lake has frozen over and I was thinking we could go ice skating,” Bianca said, sitting down as she casually ate her protein bar. Wednesday raised an eyebrow. 

“You can ice skate?” Wednesday asked. Bianca raised an eyebrow, as it seemed like everyone could, given all the yeses. 

“Yes, I can. Can you?” Bianca sassed.

“Of course I can. I did it with Pugsley for multiple years,” Wednesday answered. “I can’t…” Enid admitted. 

“I shall teach you then, mon chiot,” Wednesday said. Bianca rolled her eyes, but she smiled. Enid and Wednesday deserved happiness.

“Lovebirds,” she said, before everyone decided to get their skates. Apparently, everyone owned a pair because there was a winter festival that happened there during their final 2 days in Nevermore. Enid even owned a pair, though she didn’t skate. Enid and Wednesday met up with the others after a quick 10 minutes, totally not getting distracted by making out.

“Took you long enough,” Yoko teased. 

“I have a stake in my pocket,” Wednesday threatened, although it was empty due to the fact that Enid would be upset. Yoko just smirked, the Nightshades making the trek towards the lake as Enid and Wednesday were behind the others. They kissed each other every now and then, casually chatting about plans for Christmas. Enid would be at the Addams’ after all and she was excited. She wanted to make a good impression, it being her first Christmas there as a couple. Eventually, they made it to the ice after 15 minutes, everyone sitting on the ground as they sorted their skates out.

“Babycakes… will you help me with my skates?” she asked quietly. Wednesday nodded, immediately going down onto her knees as she was helping Enid out, tying her skates up as she was making sure they were tight too. 

“There you go mon chiot,” Wednesday answered, getting up as she was doing her own. Enid sat near her, smiling as she admired her girlfriend. “You’re so beautiful,” she immediately spoke. Wednesday blushed hard at that. 

“You make me weak,” she murmured, getting up as she held her hand out gently. Enid took it before she followed Wednesday, who went onto the ice slowly. Bianca was with Divina and Yoko, Eugene with Ajax and Kent too. Wednesday and Enid meanwhile were starting to get on the ice, Wednesday holding Enid gently as she was being careful. She knew Enid could get overexcited so she would have to try to reel that in. Otherwise, her girlfriend would be falling onto the ice and she would hear the whining later in the night about the pain that would hit. 

Oh well.

She kept taking her in slowly as she was being as gentle as possible with Enid, who was slow herself and nervous. “Please don’t drop me,” Enid whimpered slightly. 

“I will not, I promise mon chiot,” Wednesday promised as she gently took her to the middle, proceeding to teach her how to move. “Think about getting a career as a hockey player with this,” Wednesday joked, knowing that Enid was a fan of the Sharks. Enid nodded, slowly starting to improve. After just 10 minutes, she was skating on her own, albeit slowly. Wednesday was impressed though, as she stayed on her lonesome, going over to Enid every now and then who was being social with her friends. Wednesday smiled to herself, looking at the view of Enid with the Nightshades.

She was happy that she was alive, and with Enid. Her life couldn’t get better…

[canmom]

A Summoning author's notes

this has been out a little while now, let me add some extra background comments...

i released A Summoning with minimal edits from the 2022 version (just adjusting a few lines of Lilith that felt a bit much really). i call it medievalist but it's not really trying for a specific time period, it's in a sort of vague floating time and place peppered with cool things from the past (like most fantasy), but i try to pull on some more unusual threads at least. very loosely you could place it somewhere in the early early modern period, 15th through 17th centuries.

in England, travelling players became more common in the Elizabethan period. the content of what they perform here is very loosely inspired by the tradition of the morality play.

the intercrural sex scene is a now largely forgotten practice, sometimes done in a sex work context (one reason being that it helps with minimising STI transmission). one notable example was Mervyn Tuchet, who was forced to read a rather convoluted statement of Christian belief and then executed for sodomy in 1631. the 'patting about the loins' joke is riffing on Chaucer. a braies is a kind of loose trouser-like clothing.

like any uminekohead would, I used a magic circle from the Key of Solomon on the cover (in this case the Fourth Pentacle of Venus, which is used to summon a person to you and command spirits of venus and thus makes sense for its use in the story, but more importantly it has a cool and intricate design), which goes back to the 14th or 15th centuries. this one includes a few letters from the Celestial Alphabet of Agrippa, which I inevitably appreciate as a Yoko Taro fan.

the wizard tower is a thing of pure fantasy. I wouldn't know where to begin researching it - I found various threads on forums and reddit about the history of the image of a wizard in his tower (for example), and there's some speculation it's inspired by Roman astrologers, but the association of wizards with towers seems to be more of a 20th-century thing, going back mainly to Howard. the sort of comically misogynist philosophy of magic followed by the Master is more inspired by the 20th-century concepts like 'orgone' than anything truly medieval, mixed with some of the wild ideas that Romans had about sexuality.

a friend reasonably pointed out that lilith's conception of transness is very modern - and sure she's a demon from another world and time, but there is a kind of unintentional aspect where it sort of suggests that from the main narrative authority in the story, the modern conception of 'transness' where you are always really a girl is the final correct one, and that seems against the spirit a bit. this feels like a misstep for me, similar to how the final act of Tipping the Velvet pulls in some quite modern lesbian politics to its Victorian setting. if I were to write again - I know as much about the Old English baedlings as anyone who reads @baeddel's blog. but this story is roughly 15th-century-ish as the other references suggest. I believe in that period, gender was understood as being more about what you do than expressing some inner essence, but I would need to research a lot more thoroughly.

nevertheless it has been in the oven for long enough, and I wanna make this a year of releasing things rather than sitting on them for years x3

the next story, The General's Worm, is a really nasty one, just undergoing a final editing pass.

[aquatark]

want some help navigating my tangled mess of tags? you've come to the right place!

all tags (including those related to characters, creatures, and locations) use the name given in the north american english localization of the relevant eo game. if you're ever unsure, they're the names used by default on the eo wiki, so you can double-check there if you're brave enough to get blasted by fandom and its billion ads

while i can't list all the creature tags (for obvious reasons), these are the broad categories to hopefully help you find the posts you're looking for <3

ENDLESS OCEAN

STAGES

#manoa lai (refers only to the main stage)

#gabbiano

#great aqua cave

#the abyss

#underwater ruins of mo'ia atoll

#ship's rest

#aquarium

CHARACTERS

#eo1 player

#katherine sunday

#will gayne

#michael schoff

#victor durand

#pia marini

#carina ortez

#yoko kagura

MISC

#marine encyclopedia

#eo1 salvage

#ancient mother

#magu tapa

ENDLESS OCEAN 2

STAGES

#nineball island

#gatama atoll

#deep hole

#private reef

#ciceros strait

#valka castle

#north coast of canada

#weddell sea

#iceberg cavern

#cortica river midstream

#cortica river upstream

#zahhab region

#zahhab region depths

#cavern of the gods

#aquarium

CHARACTERS

#eo2 player

#jean eric louvier

#oceana louvier

#matthias louvier

#nancy young

#gaston gray

#hayako sakurai

#snorkel

#ken kaimoto

#finley

#franklin fischer

#marzia

#tisera

MISC

#marine encyclopedia

#eo2 salvage

#constellation coin

#legendary

ENDLESS OCEAN LUMINOUS

#daniel

#eol player

#luminous new creature

#legendary

#uml

#eol salvage

OTHER

#marine life (for real-life sea creature posting)

#unused content (for meta discussion of eo's unused content)

#glitches (for meta discussion of eo's glitches)

#other people's art (cool art related to marine life!)

#aquatark art (my scribbles <3)

#ask

#anonymous (for anon asks)

#inbox trick or treating

for asks, i also add a tag of the asker's username, if they included it :>

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Step 17: Oh Gods, She's Wearing Pants (NSFW)

Summary: Working at the Weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I'm backkkk! Sorry this update took so long, I started a new job a few weeks ago and it has been a hugeee adjustment. But have some smut from this lil shrimp 🦐✨

Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @autumn-leaves-chasing-breeze @kimiinou @muffintopxs @h-doodles @bbykens @lilfartbox1 @bigolgay @winterfireblond @gela123 @i-like-reading @hopelessly-sapphic @alder-saan @im-a-carnivorous-plant @weemssapphic @barbarasstar

(pls let me know if you want to be tagged/ I missed you!)

Chapter 16

Cross Posted on AO3 Here

HWTAHP Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------

Life was actually looking up. You had been seeing Dr. Kinbott every other week to help work through the plethora of issues you had. On top of that Vlad was still getting you moving every day (you low-key hated him for it). He had also taken it upon himself to teach you everything he knew of vampire history. Sometimes you weren’t sure whether he was embellishing some of the stories or if vampire history was that insane.

Sometimes Yoko would tag along, more often than not to help him teach you how to use some of your vampire powers. You snorted the first time Vlad referred to them as that and then nearly died when he moved from one end of the room to right in front of you in the blink of an eye to glare down at you.

The one ‘vampire power’ you had the most control over was your sudden acquisition of fuckin epic strength. And by most control you mean you had to learn super quickly how not to rip every door you opened off its hinges.

Your other abilities weren’t anywhere near refined. Yoko had been trying to teach you how to use your enhanced speed which you had managed once before ending up smashing into a wall. You were fine, the wall however did suffer. (yet another wall that is a victim of your new powers. Rip.)

Since you didn’t know who your family was or where you came from both Vlad and Yoko had explained that you may have other abilities if you came from what they called a Legacy family. Apparently, they can have some super sick extra powers like hypnosis or transformation and the like. You were sure you were just a regular vampire, the odds of you having any extra powers were so slim you didn’t need to worry.

On top of that things between you and Larissa were better than ever. You spent every evening together, often ending with you staying the night in her quarters. And fucking hell was waking up to her almost every morning a gift from the gods.

On the nights when you’d stay with her, you’d help her with her evening routine, always ecstatic she let you help her. You’d help remove the pins from her hair, brushing it out for her as she removes her makeup. You always press kisses into her hair afterwards, your heart skipping a beat and the small soft smile on her face at your actions.

You’d both then change into pyjamas, hers always sinfully attractive on her. Then you spend the evening having dinner and cuddling on her couch. Sometimes she’d tell your stories of her day or about her past. you loved listening to her speak, you could quite literally do it for hours.

This morning you were lucky enough to wake up in her arms once again. You took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of her and feeling a smile creep across your face. You bury your head into her neck, sighing happily. You feel her stir a few moments later, her arm tightening around your waist. She lets out her own content sigh before pressing a kiss to your head.

“Mmm…good morning my darling,” she hums, her voice still raspy from sleep.

“Good morning pretty lady,” you hum back, leaning up to kiss her chastely.

The two of you stay like that for a little while, Larissa laying on her back with her eyes closed, one arm wrapped around your waist. You grinning up at her, bringing your hand up to trace the lines of her face. These moments with her, where the two of you are simply existing together, are your favourite moments in the world.

Eventually, though Larissa has to get up and get dressed, she does have a school to run after all. You love watching her get ready for the day. She always wears such gorgeous outfits, always looks so elegant and-

Oh, holy fuck she’s wearing pants today.

She so rarely wears pants, usually opting for skirts or dresses. So when she slips on a pair of form-hugging pants with a chunky belt and white sweater you almost choke on air and feel your face heat up. She bends over to pick up a pair of heels and you absolutely stare shamelessly at her ass.

You must have let out some noise, probably a rather gay sound with the way Larissa turns and looks at you. She grins smugly as she toes on her heels. She pulls on a blazer to complete the look before leaning over to press a kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll see you later darling,” she all but purrs and you have to resist every urge to pull her into the bed and ravish her right then and there.

“I-you- have a good day m’love,” you manage, ogling her as she all but saunters away.

———

You spend the rest of the day catching glimpses of the white-haired beauty every hour or so. She seems to be moving around campus far more than usual. Not that you’re complaining. When she does come around, nine times out of ten you get so distracted you walk into or drop something.

On top of that, sometimes when she appeared she would shoot you these looks. You couldn’t explain it but you swear the woman was trying to kill you. Gods, you wanted to climb her like a tree.

So after a lunch filled with you all but drooling over her and a couple of hours afterwards daydreaming about her and her stupid sexy legs and hands and face…where were you again? You finally decided to say fuck it and made your way to her office in record time. Vlad and his lessons could wait, you had a far more important task to do.

You entered her office quietly, not wanting to disturb her if she was in a meeting. The sight that greeted you made you actually choke on air. There she was sitting at her desk as usual. But she had discarded her blazer on the back of her chair and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. She was typing furiously on her laptop, as usual, frowning at the screen from behind her glasses.

You locked the door behind you before striding purposefully over to her desk. By the time she glanced up at you, you were already rounding her desk to get to her.

“Darling? Is everything alri-oh!” She yelps as you pull her up from her chair into your arms.

You press a kiss to her very gorgeous lips and reach around her to shut her laptop and move it aside. You lift her up onto her desk, not once removing your mouth from hers. She lets out the cutest noise at that, hands moving to clutch your shoulders before she tangles them in your hair, tugging on it slightly. You groan into her mouth, teeth scraping against her lip. The room feels impossibly hot and she is wearing far too many clothes. As much as you like her pants they need to come off. Now.

Your hands make their way down her body, slipping under her sweater to caress the skin of her stomach. You preen at the hum she lets out, your hands becoming more daring. Your fingers slip under her bra, trailing gently over the underside of her breasts. She gasps, her mouth disconnecting from yours when your thumbs brush over her nipples.

You press kisses to her neck as you do your best to unclasp her bra. It does take a fair bit of fumbling and a few curses muttered to get there. Larissa lets out a breathy chuckle as she scratches the back of your neck. When you finally manage to get rid of the offending item you make quick work of removing it along with her sweater.

You press your lips to her collarbone, nipping at the soft skin just above her breasts. Her grip on your hair tightens, her hands attempting to move your attention where she wants it. Instead of giving her what she wants you graze your teeth along to underside of her breast, grinning at the way her breath stutters.

You decide your desire to tease her is not as strong as your need to please her and take one of her nipples into your mouth, lathing your tongue over it. The strangled moan she lets out makes your heart skip a beat. You nip at the pert bud, your other hand groping at her free breast. She lets out the most sinful sounds, your whole body heating more and more with each one.

Your hands travel down to the waistband of her pants, fingers quickly undoing the button and unzipping the zipper. You pull them and her panties down her legs after she lifts herself off the desk for a moment. She starts tugging on the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to take it off. You pull back from kissing her chest and take her hands in yours, moving them back to sit on the desk.

“Nu-uh honey, tonight I’m in charge,” you hum, delighting in the way her whole face turns red.

“So you just keep those lovely hands of yours right here. Can you do that for me, my love?”

“I- yes. Yes,” She breathes.

“Good girl,” you purr.

You get down on your knees, looping your arms under her thighs. You pepper kisses from her knee to the top of her thigh, stopping just before her soaking cunt. You repeat the action on the other side before gently pulling her thighs apart. You take in the sight of her glistening folds, feeling your mouth water at the sight.

“Is this all for me Rissa?”

“Mmm, only for you baby…” she moans.

You press one final kiss to the inside of her thigh before licking at her cunt. You lap at her slit, moaning at the taste of her. You’re certain this is what heaven is like, the way she tastes like the sweetest ambrosia.

You eat her out as though you were starved. You alternate between flicking your tongue over her clit and lapping at her entrance. Her moans and whimpers are like music to your ears, the sexiest symphony you’ve ever heard.

“Oh fuck, darling. Please-I’m-I’m so close-“ she pants.

You feel her thighs begin to tremble on either side of your head. She lets out a string of curses interspersed with cries of your name. You double your efforts, hands pinning her to her desk as she bucks and writhes.

“Fuck!” She cries.

Her back arches as she throws her head back, letting out a choked moan. Her whole body stiffens, thighs clamping shut around your head. You keep licking and sucking at her clit, only stopping when she gently pushes you away. You press one last kiss to her inner thigh before standing and wrapping your arms around her waist.

She truly looks ethereal in this moment. She’s leaning back on her hands, chest heaving and flushed. Her eyes are closed, breath coming out of her lips in pants. She’s glowing in the low light of her office. Her hair is slightly mussed, falling out of her elegant hairstyle in places.

You cup her cheek, heart-melting when she nuzzles into your hand and presses a kiss to your palm. You almost want to cry, luckily you don’t. You lean forward and press a kiss to her forehead, hearing her hum happily in response. You bury your face in her neck, enjoying having her in your arms.

“Darling,” she sighs happily, “not to sound ungrateful because that was truly wonderful, but what on earth brought this on?”

“Pants.” You mumble into her neck.

“Pardon?”

You lean back, idly tracing shapes into her collarbone. “You were uhm, you wore pants today. You don’t often you know wear ‘em. And you just. I mean you have such gorgeous legs and the most earth-shatteringly sexy ass I’ve ever seen-“

She bursts into laughter at your admission, cheeks flushing.

“It’s true!! You have no idea how hot you are Rissa. Like…I don’t know how I get anything done when you’re here looking like you stepped out of heaven every single day.”

“But the pants do something for you hm?” She chuckles.

“Mmm, they just tipped the scales of my already incredibly inappropriate thoughts about you,” you grin.

“Well, darling,” she purrs, slipping off her desk and sauntering in the direction of her bedroom while pulling you along, “I hope you had no intentions of returning to your rooms tonight.”

You stare far too shamelessly at her ass as she drags you into her room. You were so focused on watching her that when she spins you around and all but pushes you onto the bed, you can only stare up at her, eyes wide and incredibly turned on.

She straddles your waist, smirking down at you in a way that makes heat pool between your thighs. She slips her hands beneath your shirt, leaning down to hover close enough to your face that you can feel her breath on your lips.

“Now then,” she hums, “let’s get you out of these clothes hm? The evenings only just started, and I’m nowhere near done with you.”

[barblaz-arts]

Hey, I tried to message you this, but my phone is dumb and sorry if I spammed you! But I love your work, and I don't want to take any credit, but here's my fanfiction on your work of how Vega and Elosie met.

"Hey, Vega! There's where you've been hiding!" I feel my right ear flick at the annoying voice. We're literally five feet apart he doesn't need to shout.

He giggles to himself and I feel his body drape over my shoulder and I harshly elbow him at the contact.

He whimpers briefly and then chuckles as he covers the brusing area with a hand. His drink in the other sloshes a little as he staggers back.

"Piss off, Duke. I already came to this annoying function, because I gave your mom my word that I'd watch out for you at school," I growl as I look over toward the pit.

The natural collection of jagged rocks in a circle created a perfect pit for, you guessed it, parties hosted by drunk dumb teens in the middle of the black forest. The area keeps the bonfire large but safe from spreading to the forest and its great to keep the crowd together, but apart enough so loners like me can observe safley at the tree Iine.

The various teens shout and laugh as the light causes some eyes to reflect in the dark. The myriad of smells clog up my nose. Doesn't anyone teach them there's a thing as too much perfume?

He pouts and the flames reflect in is dark glasses. Tomorrow his baggy grey sweatshirt will be gone and the purple and black Nevermore uniforms will decorate the halls of the newest supernatural generation.

"You know you didn't have to come. My mom wouldn't have known," he rubs his hand on his neck.

"An Addams never breaks a promise," I snarl as I watch the untouched contents of my cup swirl. That, and mother would totally kill me.

I know mom would be upset too and her disappointed puppy eyes are one of the few things that I would make me rather be trampled on by an angry mob.

Now. That's a party.

Duke shakes his head,"You're not having any fun, are you?" He runs a hand through his wavy hair causing it to be even more of a mess.

No. None at all. I'd rather be sniffing around school for hidden things that weren’t on the freshmen tour. Like the hidden society that mother claimed was so easily spotted it was a joke.

"The seniors throw this Homecoming party for new and returning students. It's a tradition to go. Even as irritating as it is." I reply.

"Vega," he sighs. He takes my cup and throws it over his shoulder.

"Your littering." I state as I walk around him and pick up the plastic. I hate it when people defile mother earth.

"Listen, leave. I'm safe here. Just because my mom is your godmother doesn't mean you need to stick around a place that's making you miserable."

I can feel my brow twitch, "I am not. Plus this isn't nearly as fun as you say it is."

He pushes down his glasses and his green eyes reflect the orange flames, "Don't make me use my siren voice."

I stiffen and growl, "Don't you dare. Yoko would kick your ass if you did that to me."

He smirks and puts them back on, "Maybe. But seriously, I'll be fine! Go run around in the woods and dig up a grave or something!"

"YO!" We all turn our heads as a large gorgon holds out a whimpering girl, "Looks like we got a normie crashing the party!"

A few whistles and snarls of irritation echo off of the rocks. The boy throws her down in front of the flames and Duke winces as the girl face plants in the dirt. The crowd approaches her with manic glee.

Someone turns off the music and the cracks of the fire are the only sound.

I know the smell of bloodlust. I usually salivate at the feel of it but this time? It's not worth it to someone whose innocent.

The gorgon jumps down to her feet and crouches. His hat rattles and his eyes grow to slits. "Why are you here, human?"

She whimpers, "S-someone was-s following me and I heard the music-c."

He laughs, "What and you expect me to believe that you'd cross into Nevermore territory willingly?"

"My phone died and I got lost!" She tries to defend. She crab crawls away. Her wide blue eyes scan the area for any allies, "I was at a party and-d,"

A few watch on with smirks, other with disinterested and some in awkward uncomfortableness. The town is still split but not as bad as it should've been.

He stands up and laughs, "You should’ve stayed with your kind."

"Vega." Duke hisses. But before he can grab my hand I leap the impressive distance down.

The gorgon pauses as I calmly stroll forward.

"Mind if I take her off of your hands?" I put my hands into my pockets, my nails have already grown into claws and I smirk putting my enlarged canines on display. I can't help but feel a little excited.

I've never got to fight a gorgon yet.

"And, who are you, Barbie?" I blow one of my neon pink strands out of my face. And I see Duke push his way into the front of the crowd.

My smirk turns into a malic grin and I take my hands out and crack my knuckles together, "Do you wanna find out?

"Don't." Another large male steps next to him and the way his eyes reflect, werewolf.

The gorgon looks to his companion confused. The wolf eyes me and I maintain eye contact.

I'm not sure who the new player is but I'll be more than happy to fight him as well.

The only werewolves I've interacted with were family. And no one wants to fight the Alpha's daughter.

"She's an Addams," the boy says. I cringe as the loud whisper overtakes the area.

"An Addams?"

"Oh, great. Another one."

"Like as in Wednesday Addams?"

"I thought her mom was human?"

The gorgon huffs,"Take the human. You'll do way worse than we ever could."

I make sure to keep eyes on them as I slowly approach the girl, "Are you okay?"

She nods and I wait as she gets up and she grimaces as she puts weight on her right leg.

Duke steps forward and lifts his cup, "Come on Nevermore! I thought this was a party!?" Soon the crowd joins in and I nod my head in appreciation. The music blasts back on. And soon everyone returns as dumb teens instead of scary monsters.

He shoots me a thumbs up and I look to the girl as she looks to the wall of rocks with a frown.

"Hey, can I pick you up?"

She looks over with wide eyes. "Huh?" Dirt covers her face and clothes. There's a few scrapes that are bleeding.

I clear my throat and point to her leg that's she's gingerly standing on. She blushes, "Oh. Yeah, sure."

I crouch and look over my shoulder and try to give a friendly smile, "Get on!"

She gives me a confused look before strattling my hips and I stand with her piggy backing.

"Alright I'm going to jump."

She tightens her grip, "What!?"

I bend me knees and she goes, "Wai--!!!"

I stumble as we land on top of the Boulder. I laugh trying to calm her down, "Wow! You sure are light, aren't yah?" I can feel and hear her heart pounding out of her skull.

She gives me a quizzed smile, "You're weird."

"Thanks!"

I look into the woods as try to see which way is town. Unfortunately, we're upwind and no lights or car noises are coming through the thick compass of trees.

"I came from that way. I think." She points in a direction and I decide to take it.

The walk through the woods is quiet and surprisingly, I find myself starting to relax. I like the solidarity that the woods provides. I walk for some time as my gently swaying makes the girl relax and she puts her chin on my shoulder.

"Is it true?" The girl whispers. I flick my ear as I look out of the corner of my eye she looks away from my pointed ear.

"That you're an Addams?" I feel my arms stiffen. I never cared for the purgatory that comes with my family. I'm quiet proud and don't care for others opinions. Still it's annoying.

She quickly covers, "Not that I care! It's just that I heard from my Uncle Lucas of your mom and how she made a statue explode."

I roll my eyes. That was Thing actually, but not that she needs to know.

"I'm Eloise. Eloise Johnson" She says. I carefully go over a log. She twitchesat my silence and goes, "You know this is when someone would tell me their name in return."

"Vega." I state. I pause as we come out to a field. There's wild flowers everywhere and I feel a smile grace my lips.

It's so pretty. I look as I count the flowers, black eyed Susan's, different asters, and numerous lillys.

I stop and close my eyes as the sweet nectar and fresh air enters my nostrils. The girl behind me seems to be enjoying it too.

I look up at the clear sky and stars. I smile when I see the stars that copy my name. Then, I remember that the town is south of school. So, I go in the opposite of Polaris.

"There was something there. You know?" Eloise whispers so quietly I even have to strain my superhearing.

"It was supposed to be fun. I made myself go out l, cause I promised my mom I'd get into trouble to stop her worrying. I'm also a loner at my normie school. I've never had many friends but everyone was going. So," she shrugged,"Then, the cops came and everyone panicked. I just ran. But when I stopped, I had no idea where I was, and then my phone died. I used the flashlight setting to try to find my way back. I wandered around in the woods for a long time and then this loud crack happened." Her hand tightens on my shirt, "I know you shouldn't run from a predator but I was just...something told me to just run."

"You're human. Not your fault." I try to comfort. She snorts with a watery chuckle.

I stumble out of a thick pair of bushes and end up on asphalt of a road. I turn and see the generic Welcome sign to the town.

I lower down and she takes the sign and slides off of my back.

"You think you can go the rest of the way?" I ask. I look to her leg and she brushes some of her red hair out of her face.

"I suppose I can. Thank you."

I nod and she says, "It was nice meeting you, Vega Addams!"

....

" Can Vega Addams report to the principals office?"

I pick my head up as my cheeks are stuffed of breakfast sausage. I glare at the box and ignore of the student body stares.

Ugh. I quickly inhale my food and then walk to the school's office.

The secretary politely opens the door for me and I pause as principal Barcaly turns around with Sheirf Walker standing next to her. His eyes red and bags underneath showing little sleep.

"Morning Miss Addams," Principal Barclay drawls, "You make take a seat."

"I'm in trouble." I sit and cross my legs waiting for the adults to tell me what I supposedly did.

Mr. Walkers rubs his five o'clock shadow, "Depending."

I raise a brow. Principal Barclay sit and folds her hands on her desk.

"Did you escort a Miss Eloise Johnson home the other night?"

I tilt my head to the side, "Yes, she was lost and I took her to the town sign."

"It that all?" Sheirf asks. I smell the coffee and desperation waving off of him. I try my best to not scrunch my nose.

"Why?" I can feel my heart pick up.

Principal Barclay and Sheirf glance at each other. After a moment.

"Eloise was found dead this morning."

The author shared this to me in my dms too but I figured you guys might wanna read it too :)

[eloeloanna]

Hi! I love your content 🫶

I have always feel that Real Love and Grow Old With Me were for Paul, so I wonder if you can find something about them.

Thanks!!

Real love: Context. The cards said that it was a very difficult time for John, where he "had" to be passive...like he didn't have a choice. The only thing he could do it was to work on something. He thought that working on this he could have some peace of mind and having this relationship that he is talking to in a good place, like, he would do the "correct" thing making this song. Also, he wanted to state that this relationship was important to him, that he didn't want to "let it go". But it was like his love was something...I don't know, like...bad? Toxic? It was like something was wrong by loving this person. But anyways, he wanted to state that he really loved and enjoyed being with this person. Was "Real Love" a song for Yoko?

It seems to me that Yoko could be the answer. Because the cards are explaining all the stuff that happened before this song was made. Like all the toxic behaviors, all the bad situations, how Yoko dealt with all of this, and how John did. Also, the gap of time before they got together again, the hope for something new to happen, new beginings, etc. Was "Real Love" a song for Paul?

I don't think so. The cards are also explaining a moment in the timeline where John thought was happy to see Paul, but it was like the reality hit him. It was like, everytime he was near Paul during that time was...fake. Because all the people around them, it was like it wasn't worth it, it was like Paul didn't give it all...so John around this time was confused about this. But didn't act on it.

Was "Real Love" about someone else? Nope. About everybody else John felt like he could have a lot of chances, but never really wanted to do anything about it. Just the sex and leave. Grow Old With Me Context. I think when John wrote this song, he didn't like very much the life that he had. I mean..."the established" part. Everybody could see him "put together" and with the happy family, but it seems to me that he was looking for another chance. The things suddenly moved to another direction, where he could lose a lot, but it was like John wanted for this to happen, even in a intelectual level. This new direction was something that made him proud, but also he had the pain of knowing what would happen. Was "Grow Old With Me" a song for Yoko?

The cards start with the acknowledgement of the value of the relationship and the responsabilities that come with it, but also, how difficult it is to keep going with it. When John wrote this song, he really tried to stay in this relationship, but he really didn't know what to do. He was starting to feel miserable with it, even when he knew how "much" Yoko did for him. Was "Grow Old With Me" a song for Paul? For me, Paul is one of the options. Why? The cards start telling me about how the past is left behind, and how things now seem to be better, it was like all was starting over. One thing that John didn't reflect enough was that probably these new feelings were fulled because of past feelings, and not present. The "new" feelings made John happy for a long time, but also very doubtful. It was like Paul was again being arrogant with him, and that "broke" John's heart. It is showed that later Paul reached John but it was very difficult to communicate, until...it happened, and it was a new begining. Was "Grow Old With Me" a song for someone else? For me this also could be an option. It was like John wanted to reach someone, but it took a lot of time to get an answer. When he had an answer...well, he didn't like it? HAHA. It is like..."Well, that's what you are going to say? NOTHING ELSE?"

[streamdotpng]

Hmm.. Have you guys ever heard of the word bitching in an omegaverse context?

I was thinking of my scent blind au where enid so desperately wished she could've been an alpha so she would be right for wednesday during heaven and back

Content warning for straight up Addams obsession, delusional thoughts and Wednesday lowkey going to the deep end to make sure her and Enid get together even if it meant biologically changing herself

Bc yknow how Addams don't do things in halves, right? It's a whole fanon thing and I'm pretty sure there's signs of it in the show.

It starts like this, Enid is an alpha and Wednesday is a beta.

Simple facts, so very chill. They're still roommates, theyre older now and everything is OK

Except ever since Enid presented, having been a late bloomer like the show, she's been.. Different.

Wednesday isn't stupid, sure she may not have the safe rabid instincts as an omega or an alpha but she can smell well for a beta and she can see the way Enid's face will soften at any distressed omega nearby

It's irritatingly sweet, the way Enid would try to calm them down with her own scent. Except, since she's so new, she forgets how easily safety could equal something else

After the third time Enid has gotten accosted in the way to the dorm room, Wednesday quite frankly was irritated. She would love to stab those pesky students and go on her day but that meant showing that she was bothered

And Wednesday Addams wasn't bothered by anything, why should she? So what, her roommate is simply popular, it happens

Except, there's a part of her that feels wrong whenever she sees yoko drape herself over Divina. She eyes the way the omega would purr and how Divina would roll her eyes yet nose at her hair.

It's sickenly sweet

It's what her parents have it's what she wants with Enid

Being a beta in this au meant three things. One, you don't have an intoxicating scent and thus getting a mate is a tons more harder. Two, you're not built to take an alpha, it's a biological thing and three, the chances of getting a kid is all the more lower

Which is what most alphas would want

It's what Enid would want

So practically everything is against Wednesday. She can't entice Enid like most can do, she is literally not built for her and she knows of how Enid wishes for a family

Wednesday quite frankly isn't the type to wish for a family, quite aware of how troublesome it is but she's willing to change that for Enid

Anything for Enid, for the woman with nothing yet still tried to give her everything

Anything for her.

So, once again, it starts with the internet

Wednesday is ashamed, how far has she fallen to seek for reassurance that beta and alpha relationships could happen? Pretty badly, because when she scrolls and ignores the sobbing cries of beta's feeling inadequate in random blogs, she finds a reply to a rather sad post

It was a question of "pls guys, my alpha keeps looking at others instead of me. I know that I cant entice him like they can but surely there's smth I can do!?"

There were assurances in the replies, others saying that it's not the OP's fault that their alpha couldn't keep their nose to themself until one catches her eyes

It was a reply from a deleted user.

"have you ever thought of being bitched? You wouldn't fully be an omega but you'll pass as one to him and isn't that what matters in the end?"

The thoughts of other users below that were outraged. Whatever this bitching is, it's clearly taboo.

But those words.. "pass as one"

It's not the answer she wanted, but it's close enough.

It's enough to make Wednesday stay up and scour the internet all the more. She delved deeper into chat rooms, posing as an alpha with a kink because the more she went, the more she noted that whatever this is isn't normal at all. She couldn't come in regularly, else she risk losing actual good information

Bitching, from what she's seen, is the process of changing ones second status to an omega. Usually done against someone's will because who would want to willingly bitch themselves? Who would dare degrade themself into smth they weren't born too?

Me, Wednesday thinks as she notes it down. I would.

This is all she did for the next few days, staring at the pc and noting down as much as she could.

She got dragged out once or twice by a concerned Enid because ofcourse she did. The alpha has always been so caring, making sure to knock before cracking it open to ask if they'd like to eat together at the diner that just opened up

Wednesday agrees, she always does and so Wenclair set out. It's times like these where everything else fades away to nothing, status doesn't matter and it's imply just the two of them

Until the waiter comes in, all sly smiles and neck bared. Enid sniffs and Wednesday stops herself from stabbing her fork into the omega's throat when she sees those gorgeous blue eyes of enid's dilate

Don't look at anyone else, Wednesday wants to scream. You don't need them, I'm right here- But she can't do that, so she digs her nails into her palms as she slips into her thoughts

What happens in the diner is enough of a reminder that she needs to do this.

In the end of the weekend, Wednesday has finally concluded her research. The deleted user was right, she wouldn't be an omega but she sure will pass as one.

Her fertility will be the same but she can start producing the same addicting aroma and slick that entices all alpha's once she's done with the process

It sounds all well and dandy except it takes months to a whole year or two of constant dedication to get these results. It irates Wednesday but luckily, if the beta is reciprocating, the outcome is said to be all the more simpler, effective and overall efficient.

Wednesday couldn't stop a smile from growing as she eyes the last few words of her research.

if the beta in question was being bitched to the scent of one alpha in particular, then once the bitching was complete, both parties would become biologically attracted to one another’s scents and be driven to mate.

That was the confirmation wednesday needed, she would literally be made for Enid and Enid would have no choice but to realize it too once it was all over.

And finally, the best part:

all of the required steps could actually be accomplished without the alpha's participation or awareness

Good.

Anyways, degenerate Wednesday..? Love that, she can be such a creep and id like to build on it. If you wanna see more do send an ask! Aight thanks peace

Here's the continuation to this post where Wednesday gets what she wants

[astralartefact]

Placeholder Name for Atarase's Media Diary

Extra Entry 00b - KamiErabi S1&2 <<content warning: pet death, child murder, abortion>>

Synopsis

Will the blandest anime main character you'll ever meet prove to you that what the world really needs right now is a white boy? also apparently this is a death game (allegedly)

(this post is really stupid, yes, even more so than usual. read it for a long time, not a fun time)

How much did I know before watching?

Let's be real I only watched this because of Yoko Taro.

Okay, I only watched S1 because of Yoko Taro. I watched S2 because I needed to know what they where thinking

Did I like it more than I expected?

At this point I don't even know what I expected going into it, but what I didn't expect was that they bring abortion into this for absolutely no good reason while the story is about how children's entire lives are at the whim of their parents and how children can't do anything against that.

Because I know, you're already thinking: "But isn't the reason kind of right there, isn't that kind of the ultimate 'whim' though, the biggest decision a parent can have on the life of a child and there is literally nothing a child can do about it because it doesn't even exist yet?" - and to that I say: That's exactly the problem, because now you've already thought more about abortion than KamiErabi ever has.

In short: This shit sucked ass.

Since I hated it, here's what I liked about it nah this time i'm just ranting about this

Let's be clear, you can tell Yoko Taro worked on this. There are pieces in here that are clear parallels to stuff he already talked about at length - which weirdly enough means despite it being kind of dog shit it still pairs really well with his other contemporary work because he's clearly been thinking a lot about this topic (the agency of children in the face of their parents) and those thoughts have clearly influenced KamiErabi.

The problem is that KamiErabi posits a lot of those intelligent thoughts about the place of children in a society that mainly sees them as property both in its characters and the story setup - but not only does it not follow up on any of that, it either forgets or actively ignores it as if that stuff never happened to instead tell us a story about how Ono Goro, the whitest boy a Japanese child can possibly be - aside from the fact his single mom hates him, something we're by the way never really given a reason for aside from "mom kinda evil" - is in fact causality's greatest gift to humanity. The thing KamiErabi is most about is that out of our entire cast this one guy is special - he's the only one that deserves to become god. Why is he so special? Well, according to the text he is the only one who "listens to other people's wishes", that's the phrasing Lall uses at the end of S1.

The problem is that whoever is to blame for this certainly intended for that phrase to be understood very literally because if we were to only take it as "they didn't just wish something for themselves" then we quickly find that actually literally everyone else is also doing that. Almost none of these characters are straightforwardly wishing for themselves; most of them do it for reasons that mainly involve others and specifically not themselves.

Sawa wants to resurrect her brother and kill her parents for starving him to death

Akitsu wants to know the future to protect his friends

Tetsuya/the Little Angel wants to end bullying even though he isn't really all that bullied anymore

Koki wants true equality even though he's one of the few people on earth that wouldn't directly benefit from that (because he's rich)

Iyo's fan exchanges his life to keep Iyo's dream alive when she's murdered for idol culture reasons

They forgot to tell us Chika's wish but what we do know is that she wished something for Ryo

Ryo wants to resurrect her brother who died because of her

Every single child that wished for something wished something for somebody else. Even the one guy that brainwashed his whole school wished that to get rid of all bullying - but I guess the text is trying to tell us that we can confidently ignore that guy's reasons for doing so because the way he did it was kind of fucked up.

No, Ono Goro is different from all of them. We're told Ono Goro is "truly selfless".

That particular difference is actually most notable through Sawa: Her only functional difference to Goro - and there's really only one, a fact someone behind the scenes clearly hasn't noticed - is that Sawa is a determined girl instead of being a complacent boy. They both wished to give life to their "not alive" sibling, they both have parents they hold responsible for said sibling being "not alive" - the only real difference is that Sawa actually grasps the opportunity she's given acts "selfish" to achieve that wish and since that's the only thing that's really different about the two of them it highlights that this specific thing is what makes her worse than our main character. Her own selfish actions are why she doesn't deserve to become god.

And I will point out that holding her accountable for that character trait kind of defeats the point when half of the story is trying to be about how children don't have agency about what their parents teach them and how that is a problem that causes parents to ruin their children's life. I guess we're having Lall berate her and everyone else at the end of S1 to make a very necessary distinction about that when it comes to whatever the "aptitude to become god" is supposed to stand for, because it's really necessary to point out that the "sanctity of Sawa's soul" or whatever is fucked and it's her fault.

No, if Sawa really wanted to matter to this world in a karmic way she should have just decided to be born to parents that, if they already had to neglect her, at least didn't also instill her with an "If I want something I have to do it myself"-attitude all while neglecting their other child to death - really, she should have seen that one coming, she should have done whatever Ono Goro did.

Thankfully whoever is responsible for it might have noticed that what they presented to us might have been a little bit under baked, so in S2 they felt the need to expand on Sawa's selfishness - and hey maybe that will help us understand why all of this is actually her fault after all! (it will not)

You see, not only is the selfishness that may or may not have been born of her parent's neglect already weighing enough as it is - even if she decided to try not to be this selfish, to actually grasp agency and do something about her situation that isn't just taking from others, to accept her brother's death the best she can and help others out of situations that she wasn't helped out of - Well, actually, that would be even worse, because that means now she isn't just selfish, now she's lying to herself about it.

Actually, Honoka Sawa, you're just lying to yourself trying to help others, you only do that to feel better about yourself. You will never not be selfish and any attempt to outrun your true nature is not only futile, it is also dishonest and disrespectful to everyone you ever shown your true colors to and I truly hope you'll be able to live with how unworthy you are behaving in the light of your dead brother. Your brother isn't helped by making the world a better place for others like him, your brother would have been helped if you had managed to resurrect him. But you gave up, you were fine with whatever you think you're achieving now instead of chasing a far-off dream that would actually help your brother and only your brother. Who cares about these other kids, from our one single interaction we've had during a particularly stressful time in your life I know perfectly well that you don't care about them, you selfish prick! Shame on you for giving up on such an achievable goal as Resurrection - but good luck with your non-profit! Hope it feels nice, but remember! Giving up like you did was a privilege your brother couldn't afford :)))

Keep in mind that she's lectured about her poor life decisions by S2's mouthpiece Lall, a child that wasn't even born (ever) and therefore has not lived to make a single life decision (ever).

(btw sry my conscience tells me to do this but there is actually some core "sure i guess" in this episode. sometimes these sorts of charity causes are just a way for people to run away from facing what has happened and/or even actively harmful to the cause because now particularly fervent people are working for a change for hell or high water bc they think it will help their own emotional well-being while ultimately not actually understanding what's the core issue, obstructing real progress in the process - but this is clearly not one of those situations. in-universe sawa is doing the best she can to create a semi-comfortable place for children like her brother in a society that at this point actively hates her. she has no family left, she has no real support network because nobody cares about her, she is hated by everyone for something she had no hand in and not even her government protects her from it because her particular kind of discrimination is legal - and even still her activism isn't about her or about getting revenge; it's trying to fix the problems that killed her brother even just a little bit bc that's what she considers worthwhile to do.

but your problem isn't even really that she isn't focusing on her own well-being, even if you maybe try to pretend that, it's that she isn't doing enough. the problem is that she should have still tried to win the god app game to save him and didn't. her not going after something that asinine, something that she already failed and had no reason to believe that she would suddenly win this time is criticized as a moral failing on her part because she didn't even try.

i'm sorry but what the fuck are you talking about. what else do you want someone like sawa to do about her brother having died. she is already doing more than anyone should ever expect her to and if she's not 'doing it wrong' - after all the problem in the episode seems to be that she's protesting at all - it's probably one of the healthiest things she could possibly do about her problems if it's already a fact that she's not looking after herself. even if she realizes months or years later that none of what she did 'fixes her' and that she lost touch with herself a little bit - i would assume she wouldn't regret spending a couple months petitioning for the better protection of children from abusive parents. and i really beg you to reconsider that her only way of overcoming this issue is to resurrect her brother bc if you haven't noticed, resurrection isn't real but situations like sawa's certainly are. please, tell me what you think people in real life that lost their entire family to abuse should do about it.

how dare you tell this girl that she should have tried harder about something that should have, at no point, ever been her responsibility. her parents killed her brother and there's absolutely nothing she could have done about that and you're here telling her that she mourns the wrong way, that she copes the wrong way, that she doesn't do enough, that she suddenly should be selfish because "that's who she is" even if that's literally the only thing that you ever show us to make her an 'unworthy' person unlike goro, and that she's pathetic and stupid for not figuring all of that out by herself. her "giving up" on something so far out of reach at that point - even if it was rationally achievable - is a perfectly understandable compromise for someone in her position, she's not settling for less while stepping on her brother's grave, she's trying to survive a world that actively took everything from her. HER PARENTS FUCKING KILLED HER BROTHER. there is nothing left for her to care for and yet she still tried.

whoever is to blame for this episode, go fuck yourself. whatever moral judgment you believe will take place at the end of your life - it will not show kindness for this.)

Really, she did it all wrong - and it's so easy, too! She should have just been born selfless like Ono Goro who, gifted in his wimpyness, waits for his wish to come be granted on its own - something he mainly just does because he needs several episodes to realize that his shrugging agreement to take part in a death game for his wish to come true might actually have had resulted in him taking part in a death game for his wish to come true. He's probably really glad that his parents' neglect hasn't made him selfish - Instead this guy's most pronounced character trait is the presence of mind of someone that mindlessly clicks on every single blinking pop-up he sees on a tabloid news website, especially if it offers him something that sounds 100% too good to be true. Not that he expects it to be real - he's smart enough to know it probably isn't - but he does click on every single one regardless because hey, it might be!

Outside of that all that's left that makes him remarkably special is his outstandingly unique performance in selfless empathy (i would argue that thanks to his mom's treatment he really only cares so little about himself that he doesn't value his own happiness and therefore can sell it off with his powers to help others without hesitation - but that's certainly not how the show sees it. what he's doing is good! the best even!) - the pinnacle of which is symbolically represented by him being the only one to care, to "look up from his phone" so to speak, when a cat is hit by a truck right on the crosswalk in front of him - something that's later implied(?) to be a weird dream metaphor for his mom having had an abortion (of the child that would have turned out to be Lall).

And I'll say, in a certain way that metaphor does actually track, I guess, because it might feel like a car crash to him, you know, when something unpredictably impactful happens in your private life that you cannot ignore, something that shakes you to your core and yet nobody else's life budges the tiniest bit, they don't even know what fucked up thing just happened right in front of you. I guess I can see that feeling being put like this.

But that isn't really what they did with it. As I said, this metaphor is also presented as the pinnacle of his outstandingly unique performance in selfless empathy. Lall says out loud that him "listening to her wish" is why he's better than everyone else and why he deserves to become god and this was the main on-screen symbolism that he's special and not like others - and since the show never proves Lall wrong in any way, even subtextually, we kind of have to assume her argument is true. (granted, it never talks about any of this ever again)

Might I add, it's a phrase directly commending Goro's empathy for Lall - but because it isn't elaborated on, it also implies that Honoka Sawa's fundamental problem was that when she wished for her sibling to be resurrected, she didn't ask him if he wanted to be resurrected and therefore she didn't actually care about his wishes at all - or at least not as much as Ono Goro, the consent-considerate winner of this semantic argument.

But for whatever reason the show takes this cat metaphor weirdly non-literally (which isn't bad, it's just really confusing if you do it wrong, especially when it kinda makes sense literally). In-universe, he wasn't the only one to see the car crash that symbolized the abortion because he was the only one who knew about it (and then, independently, he also cared about it when he saw it) - He saw the car crash symbolizing the abortion because he is the only one who would care about it. Like, that should be two different things, right, there should be people who could see the truck/the abortion but still don't care and people that would care about the abortion but didn't see the truck - but here it isn't.

Instead this implies that regardless of if he was the only one to see this imaginary car crash - everyone else wouldn't have cared about it either way, because if they did, they would have seen it and if they would have seen it, they would have been as special as Ono Goro and therefore would have deserved to become god. And that might seem like a leap in logic, but we know he is in fact the only person who could care about it if he saw it, because that's why he's special. Him considering the wants of who he wishes for is stated to be supremely selfless - and it's only supremely selfless and/or special if he considers the wishes of others unlike everyone else. And not just "unlike everyone else in this group" - the end of S2 makes very sure to tell us that in this case it's "unlike every single other human being."

So with all of these semantic logistics out of the way: Even in the best interpretation I can come up with, using abortion as the plot thematic for why Ono Goro is so much more special than everyone else feels exasperatingly tone-deaf especially in the climax of S1's finale in what amounts to a gotcha reveal for Ono Goro's wish and for who Lall is.

As I've already mentioned, KamiErabi is - like all of Yoko Taro's other recent works - talking a lot about how the actions and decisions and even just arbitrary inheritances of adults have deep-seated, inevitable and yet semi-foreseeable consequences on their children/the next generation and that, clearly, adults as a whole do not think enough about that. That is a thought I agree with.

But according to this truck metaphor Ono Goro is the singular person on earth to care about this unborn fetus and what that possible child might would have wanted... and not to be (not) christian about it, but isn't there someone you forgot to ask about this? Does the Mom aborting her child not count when that's literally an instance of her thinking about what that child might want, because even if she does it for completely selfish reasons she still saves that child from a future where she's completely hated by her mother? You know, the mother that already outwardly hates her other child.

Like, even if she literally thought "Goddamn it, I really don't want another child only for the singular reason that then I don't have enough time for tax evasion, which we all agree is really evil for the purpose of this argument, but as a one-dimensional character I just love doing it" - I have a hard time believing that even to her there isn't also some fragment of the foundational implication that "A mother who would rather do tax evasion right now is a bad mother for this child", however small that fragment might be in the mother's mind. To me that is an instance of an adult considering the future of a child, who then decides she shouldn't have that child (at least while she would rather do tax evasion). She does the thing that from her estimation causes that child less harm even if that decision comes from a completely selfish place - a selfishness that, pointing at my girl Sawa here, you later say you can't run from anyways.

So what was she supposed to do? She can't change who she is and yet there's a ready option available for child harm-reduction purposes.

But this is the point where I'm sad to inform you that someone in this writing team likely considers Abortion mostly to completely unethical, because otherwise the logistics don't really make sense. The fundamental implication here is that if the mother can do it, Birth is always better than no Birth at all - which isn't necessarily "Abortion is murder" but it is "You shouldn't do an abortion if you can help it" ...which often enough stems from "because Abortion is murder."

The possibility that a woman has an abortion "for" the child doesn't really exist here as long as she could "comfortably" have it, does it. Any consideration that she might have though of that child in her decision is null and void because it's "selfish" behavior. If that mom doesn't want a child solely for the purposes of scheduling her tax evasion, "maybe it's better for the child not to live with a parent like that" is just simply not an option, that's just an excuse. The conclusion is already "Too bad, you're pregnant, be a loving mom to the child you will get soon or else you might as well rot in hell you [insert your favorite gendered insult here]."

And again, this is about another hypothetical mom I made up. All of this isn't taking into account that this child/Lall would be born as the result of an affair into a negligent family with a dad that barely shows up and that already mistreats the one child they have. Ono Mom has a very good reason to go "I shouldn't have another child for the child's sake." The text is just pretending that "she wouldn't think that" because she's evil, I guess. Don't you see? The decision to not have a child clearly serves her, that means she's selfish!

Abortion is just simply beyond the line where we have any empathy for Ono Goro's mom. Her doing that is textually considered as not considering the unborn child - or else Ono Goro wouldn't have been the only one "listening to Lall's wish". If she cared about the child at all she would have had it. Her own needs and wants are worthless the second she has unprotected sex with a man. (actually i think she says her getting pregnant was an "accident" so assuming she knows how contraception works this. is. getting... worse) She just shouldn't have had sex with a man to begin with if she didn't want to live with the consequences - and I guess living with an abortion is not enough of a consequence. A man has never once cared about an abortion after all, so how could that impact a woman?? "Women that sleep around" just simply don't care about something like that so that's not a consequence - and we can't have them go around having Abortions all day! Somebody please think of the children that might have wanted to be born, we'll ask them before we ask the mother what to do with her own body.

there was supposed to be a quick aside here about abortions being legal in japan until 22 weeks under "certain circumstances" but looking that up ono mom's specific circumstances actually seem to open a whole new avenue of "why did you bring any of this up" since i guess the abortion must have also been illegal on the mom's part bc the pregnancy came from an affair(!) and in japan she needs the consent of her husband(!) to have a legal abortion - which of course means that even without an affair in the picture he can just say no (!!!) --- but yeah, the issue they bring all of this up for is that women shouldn't have abortions for moral reasons towards the unborn child, not that men can just legally(!) tell their wives they can't get an abortion, even if they otherwise could get one legally

I'm not trying to defend Goro's Mom from being a bad mom - well, I will defend her for it because she's clearly written exemplary one-sided for a reason (yes, it's the legendary straw (wo)man in person) - but her getting an abortion is also treated very differently than Sawa's parents literally killing a non-hypothetical child by neglect - and debatably worse because one of the two is the S1 climax "fucked up back-story" reveal after all. Like, there is a noticable difference between "What Ono's Mom did was so evil and uncompassionate, look how good he is for caring!" and it's an abortion, meanwhile it's "Sure, What Sawa's parents did was bad, but... idk, if she was a better person she could have handled it better" and her parents literally locked her brother into the room next to hers until he starved to death.

No, Sawa is a selfish normie for using the wrong words to wish for her brother to live again (despite her factoring in that now she could support him without her parents unlike back in the day; she had planned this wish through before making it) and later when all hope is lost for her to win that wish she's even worse for reasonably "giving up hope" and trying to move past his death when she instead tries doing something about a society that lets stuff like this happen. Meanwhile Ono Goro is a saint uniquely worthy of becoming god for his singular deed of asking if his unborn sibling might have wanted to be born into his shitty family situation where his cheating mother already despises him just for existing - and then he does nothing to achieve that aside from gradually making his life worse and worse for arbitrary reasons while waiting for his wish to happen to fall into his lap on its own. Which it does. Good for him.

But no. In S2 we even learn he's "a being god couldn't create" - an unthinking, minorly empathetic child that assumes his experience is the experience of everyone else around him. He is fine with this shit life, why wouldn't anyone else be, if he wants to live clearly that child also would have wanted to live. And he didn't just assume like everyone else, he asked questions everyone else but him already had reasonable answers to - and look! This one child wanted to live so clearly that means all children would have wanted to live. All those people must feel really foolish for just assuming what that child would have wanted! That doesn't count as listening. Really, Ono Mom, why didn't you listen to your unborn child's wishes?

Essentially it seems to me like someone in the writing team thinks God couldn't create a white boy who just found out about racism.

And he doesn't even do anything. Everything in this show just happens at him. Even his karmic sacrifices feel passive. Even his wish didn't do anything by his decree, it was to "hear (and grant?) the unborn child's wish." Even with the one thing he did, the one thing they tell us he was so special for, he still was passive, he still let someone else do something (maybe). All he's doing is considering and "considering" is specifically not doing something (yet) - and yet he's still constantly praised for everything he "does."

I knew since the only S1 episode he wasn't in how much of a problem he is, but writing about it now it's once again hitting me just how much of a problem Ono Goro and Ono Goro alone is to KamiErabi. The show's unbridled faith in their white guy protagonist despite him doing nothing to inspire it is the fundamental problem of KamiErabi - and honestly it would be game changing if the show even just noticed that.

Like, this story is about a guy's self-sacrifical nature inspiring empathy in others, but the guy they do it with, the guy they say is so self-sacrificial, is somehow the only character in the entire main cast (!!!) with which it doesn't work in the slightest. It's crazy how you could make "Isn't it kind of sad all of these children don't wish for themselves" work with literally any other character but not him. None of them, not a single one, has a "fun" wish. They all sacrificed their one and only chance to wish for literally anything at all to change something society - and therefore the previous generations - fucked for somebody they loved. yes even iyo's body double, idol culture is still a culture created by a society.

Ono Goro does wish to "rectify a wrong" for somebody else - but certainly not in the same way Sawa wants to save her brother to make up for what her parents did to him or that the Little Angel was bullied before, knows what it's like and therefore wants to end bullying for everyone else or that Iyo's fan wants to keep Iyo's dream alive after another fan forced her to stop what she wants to do. Those are all people that watched someone succumb to the way their society and their culture works and now they grasp at straws to do something about it. All these people have a very good, non-selfish reason to make their wish for somebody else.

Meanwhile Ono Goro just doesn't want to feel bad about his unborn sibling. He wants to hear what she would have thought about it to soothe something inside of him that thinks this abortion was wrong - even if it's just a curiosity about whether she thinks the same. That is a selfish wish if I've ever heard one. That's the logic of someone who needs to apologize to someone they harmed - not to "make things right", but so the other person can finally forgive them so they don't have to feel bad about it anymore.

And at the beginning of S2 Lall even points out that her mom suddenly treating her nice isn't how that would have happened, that Ono Goro's wish fulfillment idea is some degree of out of line and "selfish" by forcing his mom to act against her character. It highlights to me even more that S1 ended on the perfect note to tell him "Hey, Ono Goro, actually..." about all of this. That he doesn't know anything better, that he isn't special at all just because the one person who had the most to gain from his wish praised him for his selflessness over it. It's also the main reason I didn't fully give up on this stupid series after S1 - because hey, maybe they're doing the thing where they turn around and let Lall learn that she was wrong by explaining in overwhelming detail just how much Ono Goro is actually not all that great of a guy.

Because Ryo literally tells him that her wish isn't his to grant at the end of S1 as if to tell us that he isn't a good person just for using his position to grant other people's wishes. That this is about more, that maybe fulfilling these wishes is at the very least also a way for him to feel better about his shit place in society in the way that they critizied the Little Angel for granting wishes earlier on. But him granting this wish means nothing to Ryo - he doesn't even know her. Him granting her wish cannot possibly be about her aside from some form of generalized pity.

Maybe all of this could work if S2 was about how Ono Goro is actually not just a white boy but a white savior whose dispassion for himself and his place in the world actually makes him a bad person to be the one granting wishes - because clearly he has his own idea of what granting a wish looks like since he rewrites his and Lall's mom to be nice. Honestly, even just the implication that his wish was really just to hear the unborn child's wish and Lall was just a manifestation of what he thinks that child would tell him and wasn't actually that child would turn this anime 180 degree into high art.

But instead S2 was just outright boring. Not only

is its narrative barely based on what was established in S1 (at least not context-wise and i sincerely don't care enough anymore to examine if this author shit lines up subtextually)

is everyone's character premise suddenly fully inconsequential to anything at all

the time skip fully wasted aside from some subtext points that aren't even used (like, "they can't grow up after their wish was granted" was clearly supposed to go somewhere in reference to the whole adults vs. children thing but they barely used it for anything at all except sudden societal xenophobia and not having to do new 3d models)

is Lall an absolutely insufferable protagonist

it also had the Sawa episode I already talked about (this was legitimately the most appalling episode of television i have seen in a while. if you ever do watch this show out of morbid curiosity stop with s1. i beg you with my life to not watch s2. like, it's not even the fun kind of bad, in the few minutes it's not really boring it's "only" wildly out of line trying to lecture you about something that i trust you to 100% know better than them)

the fact that every single character, even the weird evil guy from s1, ends up totally nice doesn't help any case they're making. you can't really have a "chosen one" narrative that's also "everyone has the power to be the chosen one"

well actually this show kind of has the blueprint of something that could make that work - they just certainly didn't do it

something about phone's bad - but also not? they can't make up their minds about whether they are bad or not and never make any conclusive statement about anything

i really don't care enough to think about what the god.app death game and its back story is supposed to be about (it's part of the phone good question mark thing; phone bad bc we don't think about whats inside this thing we take everywhere - but also we as humans have the power to make a thing that made god mad so actually it's good in a "isn't humanity cool" sort of way)

also why was this a death game at all you're years late to the trend and squid game was already years late to the trend but they at least do it for anti-capitalist reasons; here you're not even really doing anything with it

like both of the mainly credited writers were old enough to see all those death game animes 10 years ago, i know bc i remember them

also also why does the politician guy look like grown up Goro?? Are you trying to tell me Atsushi Ohkubo of all people could not come up with another hair- & image color combination??? was he supposed to be goro's absent dad?

but it also, somehow, ends on the lamest pseudo-wholesome ending ever, it made me feel so little I somehow lost the need to complain about the entire show. That need eventually came back but only because I forced myself to chronicle its atrocities even just a little bit.

Like, this could have turned out fine. Make the politician guy from S2 Ono Goro who "grew up" from granting these wishes only to not have understood anything from his experience at all, place him in the literal shoes of one of the grown adults who doesn't consider the future of the generations after him and now all the people that were once, somehow, inspired by him (even though none of them actually were, they say they were but all of them already fought for and sacrificed things for what they believed in before they ever met ono goro) have to fight against him to enact what they learned from him. (you know, like i will have to do if yoko taro somehow ended up an anti-abortionist)

But it wasn't. It was not fine. I'm defending the one dimensional evil mom character for being allowed to have an abortion and how that doesn't make her son all that special for caring. and you know that's a bad thing, because the one dimensional evil mom is one of the 3 main reasons for why I hate ff16's writing with a passion.

But hey, at least they evoked thought, I guess.

Also I will be the one person to defend Atsushi Ohkubo's character designs - not the ones we got in 3D but the somewhat techwear-y ones in the concept art. Sadly the dots and lines necessary for it to look good got lost because the animators couldn't be asked to create even one singular texture for their animation budget of 5 [shrugs in currency].

Specific Impressions that will stick with me

The episode in S1 in which Ono Goro is comatose, easily the best one of the whole series simply because Ono Goro's devoid of content mouth words aren't wasting screen time. Like. I can't stress how much screen time S1 wastes on him saying things, but nothing of value. The Iyo Episode wastes so much time that could be spent on good Idol Bullshit on him saying nothing. He truly is the most bland protagonist of all time.

Ryo Sematei stopping Ono Goro from granting her wish.

I like the idea of Eko/the Author in theory, but very much not in execution. Like, Eko showing up and talking to them as the author/god made me feel something for a second for some reason. Just for a second though, it quickly became really lame.

Outstanding Audio

I mean, it's Monaca on the budget of a favor. They didn't make a lot of songs for the BGM but the ones they made are good enough - by which I mean that I remember the magic scene music.

Favorite Character

I could easily make the case for most of the S1 main cast except for Ono Goro and Lall (and I even kind of liked her until the last S1 episodes). Sadly this story is about them.

Also, special mention for Futana Iyo's/Futana Iyo's body double's character premise. I am beyond mad that that never got investigated in any singular way, that's such a fire premise for an idol character with regards to parasocial relationships - and it was immediately dropped during the episode it was established in. also i still feel really smart for having known what her name references without looking it up

Favorite Arc/Story Line

The thing about KamiErabi is that if you read the setup of it all and imagine what might happen you would probably think of a better story, so I guess the introduction of each character and nothing more than that.

That being said, S1 is much better than S2, mainly for the fact that aside from the characters - well, honestly even with them - S2 feels fully unrelated to S1 and S1 at least felt like someone had a concept of where this is going. S2 didn't even feel internally consistent on its own, even the Eko/Author reveal felt unearned. (for at least a third of S2 i thought Eko was Sawa's brother and the god was just Ono Goro who Eko met when he granted Sawa's wish, I was so confused bc that would have made so much more sense than what they went for and they didn't really directly reference Eko's gender until later)

Favorite Set Piece

The final episodes of S1, I guess? The Drakengardian Blob that made blood rain at least made me feel something, even if Yoko Taro should probably work on making his unrelated works a little more visually distinct why does this always happen

Favorite Scene

Once again Ryo Sematei stopping Ono Goro from granting her wish. I had so high hopes for S2 off of this single scene alone.

--- ENTERING THE PRETENTIOUS SECTION OF THIS ENTRY ---

What about this series gives me Hope for the future?

I guess even if Yoko Taro writes bad stuff, at least it's interesting. Like, this guy just gets into my brain in a very specific way and he didn't even write half of this. Even if he somehow gets himself cancelled (honestly, i'm sure it will happen one of these days) I will be the one to take the aesthetic hit and still play his work. (well unless he does something really fucked up but i cant really imagine that; he's the kind of guy that stays at 'says something really weird that could be a misunderstanding and never elaborates' territory. we will never know if he's actually being evil under that mask...)

I think the only way he could make me not check out his stuff is to do a literal NieR Automata 2 with 9S and even then I would check it out because clearly he won't "just" do a NieR Automata 2, especially if it's called that or like a visual novel with only Natsuki Hanae's voice. I just don't like him. It's just... something about him.

also can I complain about the Automata Anime Ending down here, I still hate they had to show them being put together at the end, god forbid we even have the tiniest bit of implication. I guess we needed to spell it out because see the Anime is distinct!!! A-1 cares about the source material so much they wanted to see their happy ending play out uwu! Isn't that wholesome fun??? All to make 2B's last scene her acting 9S's pure and demure waifu blergh urgh ew ew ew

also i love her, she's beautiful, but the anime doesn't deserve accord, she should have been in reinkane q_q

What about this series makes me scared for the future?

See guys?? I'm not a safe space bubble blowing snowflake mindlessly consuming slop, I'm clearly a stable aesthete of distinguished taste with a box-cutter to match and I can change my mind on someone as quickly as a weather vane - and you're on thin ice, silly little mask man!!! this is how we want our media criticism, right???

btw please don't associate these posts with the word "criticism". these are, at best, me putting my personal aesthetic judgments to paper. if you read all this i tricked you, this is supposed to be worthless for anyone but me.

People are always so weird about "criticisms of their faves." I'm sure I complained about it before, but every time a fandom discovers their favorite series did something verifiably "wrong", everyone suddenly talks as if they're at a wine-tasting because clearly they know what they're talking about, they enjoyed the particular particularities of this narrative at some point, but now they were disappointed with the incomprehensible and frankly unacceptable development decisions that were made! - It's so weird, but it really happens every time.

This is not that though, at least I hope so. I think I always talk like this. I'm just german and school managed to teach me to overwork my sentences.

No, but as a "Yoko Taro guy" I just really wanted to write this so at least someone didn't let this thing slip by just because it's kind of ugly, even if I'm still kind of glad nobody watched KamiErabi. Really, it being ugly is probably a blessing in disguise for everyone involved because could you imagine the discourse? If I've learned anything the past years it's that a righteous shit storm always grows the most unbearable. More storm always means more shit and if you're reading this you are in range.

But I mean, the options we have here are a) one or more of the writers doesn't consider abortion in any way ethical (at least if it isn't an emergency) or b) someone really did not think about abortion while invoking it for a gotcha reveal - and i'll say even if it is a)? If this is their manifesto, it's a really bad manifesto. Like, who are they going to convince that maybe we should slut-shame women "that deserve it" more with this. The people that already kind of want to do that aren't watching this - too few waifus, too little tits and it's also really ugly - and anyone that thinks about it even a little bit more holistically will probably run into the fact that the rest of your story kind of argues against doing that.

And as bad as that Sawa episode is in the moment, what is that whole thing even supposed to tell us. "If you have bad parents you just already lost and you have to accept that, but as long as you try you can still achieve everything you want to achieve." Great, I guess. Like. Okay? Huh? World's weirdest spiritually loaded pep talk telling you if you're born evil, that just means now you might as well just be evil.

As it is I just think it's a badly written show that - for reasons deliberate or not - happens to really slut-shame a woman out of her agency in the name of children, even though I personally think that women shouldn't need the consent of their partner for an abortion, even if they had an affair.

Like yeah, someone should say something about this work for accountability's sake - and I did, am I not proud of doing my part - but... if nobody ever talks about KamiErabi ever again that's probably for the best. Let's just keep this one in our journal and then we'll bring it up when it's worth bringing up, how about that! Let's just hope, we'll never need it again... not just because hopefully these people aren't evil but also... (mostly) because I really don't want to think about KamiErabi ever again.

Also, there's no way around it, the school uniforms we got just do look exactly as cursed as everyone says they do. I legitimately don't get why nobody involved got the animators to do even just one single texture for the school uniform dots even if it means everyone shares the same ones. I can't see that taking more than 5 [shrugs in currency] amounts of effort and it probably would have helped at least a little bit.

[diudiudiu]

Chapter four of depravity leads to you did not fail to bring me immense happiness-because I just love these characters so much-and bog-no matter how much time has passed since you’ve released or shared even a ounce of your writing or a sneak peek you truly capture each character so well-Wednesday is often a complex character and the way you write her-it’s clear you understand her and that is truly a gift. Don’t get me started on Enid because the mannerisms (the albeit cringy lovable way she talks-it’s so clear I feel as if Emma myers is literally in my head whenever I read your work) Enid is also complex-but not like Wednesday. She’s got many layers to her and I first figured that out while reading my favorite (of all time,not to say your other works aren’t magic, but-) the nature of idiosyncrasies- I must have read it all through the night the first time and thought it was truly a labor of love. But it’s very obvious you have a wonderful gift and talent and I just wanted you to have some kind words.

Also Wednesday is hilarious and I was dying and laughing so bad when Wednesday just deadpans, “No, No ice cream Enid”

😭😭

Part of me was just dying because I don’t think Enid quite was thinking of what Wednesday had in mind and Enid literally just being like, “fine ice cream!” Was so in character. Also the dynamic-BOG-I love them so much and it’s wenclair writers like you that just make the ship even better-

And the ending! The endinggggggggg-it’s definitely a cliffhanger but i am willing to suffer. I love how Wednesday is just like- an eye for an eye-doesn’t bat an eyelash and Enid “I’m literally having a heart attack” Sinclair probably is dying-

Wednesday getting jelly of yoko was not on my bingo card but I absolutely welcome it.

It’s been years since this ship has stole my heart and your stories but i absolutely adore them and it’s getting me so excited for season two!!!! (Werewolf Enid) thank you for being such a wonderful writer and providing us with such great wonderful content that can help us through life.

Also hope you are feeling better! 🥰

these are super kind words indeed!! TYVM ♥️♥️♥️

every char is complex (as are people) if we have enough time/words to write about them 😂

and lol yeah the ending of ch4...i honestly was not going to stop it there but the word count kept going up and up until it was def too big, it would have been like...30-40k words 😬 and i cannot edit chaps that big or long, my brain simply refuses 🫠

but anyway, next chap should be out soon if i can just stop adding more to it 😩

(i had to break the next chap up again too ☠️)

[joltai-showa]

Welp, Tumblr is back on the phone, and now my recommended page is absolutely fucked for no reason (but I still get funny posts about asoiaf so that's nice I guess)

still kinda recovering from the whole incident and what followed, but I don't intend to go into detail, I'd say a lot of it was on me and my reasonable expectations about other people that turned out to be way too high, I suppose. won't be making the same mistake again😘😘😘😘😘

anyway, on fanfiction news: finished the draft for chapter 10 of FQTP, it turned out to be like half of the events I actually planned for this chapter, but it already crossed 18k threshold, so I guess the major decision moment would have to come in the next one, Obito's too busy having a very important realization lol. This one is def coming on February 10, so stay tuned.

Instead of writing chapter 11 as I originally thought I would I actually got a bunch of ideas while lying in the bed for a week, too sick to do anything but scroll on my phone, so I guess I am doing an unrelated Obidei one-shot. I actually took time to reread Dealing with the Devil and holy fuck the me from the past had the sexiest and funniest brain, but this one is gonna be more... artitsy, I guess? Still sappy and fluffy as shit, but I gotta practice on my whole "Deidara ranting about art and stuff" thing, FQTP is entering its final stretch and following it we'll be back to Girldara's POV, I gotta train my writer muscles for the artist's ramblings💪💪💪🦾🦾🦾 (I have no clue about art and Deidara's canon rants put me to sleep, I just become a monkey with neurons activated that watches a blonde twink screaming and running)

regarding the personal stuff...

er, I got really lucky in Genshin this patch? I managed to get both Arle's and Clorinde's (get hers literally this morning lol) weapons and still have some savings for a guaranteed Furina, so that's real nice! Now I just need to fix my Arle's build because the crit rate stat on her scythe is way less than on Cyno's paddle (back to the Whimsy domain I guess. hooray. my own personal dungeon for almost a year. Hoyo let me out of here pls)

HSR was also pretty nice to me, so I got both Lingsha and Feixiao on this half of the patch and saved up like 70 pulls for Robin. this week finally finished up building my Ruan Mei (that I got during Firefly's first banner, yep, she's been collecting dust for a while at level 40 lol), now leveling Lingsha and gonna have a very pretty lady squad of Ruan Mei - Fugue Tingyun - Harmony Stelle - Lingsha. Yes, Harmony MC's traces are still ass, but my Fugue build is so fucking absurd it compensates for that (Phanty is gonna have her neck snapped next time my Fugue finds her lmao). I do not fear Erudition meta, Erudition Meta fears me.

Also finally made myself sit down and watch the Nier Automata anime and it's... absolutely fucking amazing??? what the actual hell???

honestly I can not thank Yoko Taro enough for this series, whenever I feel like shit I KNOW that if I open any piece of Nier series everyone is gonna have a worse time than me🙏🙏🙏🙏

But on a more serious note I once again got reminded of how much I love Nier. It's so cruelly beautiful and yet so gently ugly. It's insane. Absolutely hopeless world and still the characters choose to hope and suffer for it.

(I really need to finish my playthrough on my Switch lol)

I remember watching the announcements being made for the anime and being worried that it's A-1 pictures, so it's gonna look like ass, but honestly... yeah, I can see the limited budget, and remember that the production got terribly fucked over by Covid, but there's just so much love in it? The anime is a clear love letter to both fans and the series. It's not something that's aimed at someone trying to enter the series, but rather people who have played it for hundreds of hours and go fucking crazy from all of those tiny cute easter eggs left here and there. I LOVE how they tried to include as much content as possible into the anime, like 3847827384 minor characters from side-quests and adapting them into something of a cohesive narrative (I say something cuz it's Yoko Taro and honestly it's normal to not understand like 60% of the plot after reaching the canon ending lol). It's just very sweet and obviously everyone on the team worked really hard to bring this anime together.

(though I am curious about how they've adapted the [E]nd of YoRHa. the true ending can not be physically translated into another medium, it's something so uniquely video gamely(?) that I am wondering what did they do about it)

anyway random screenshots time because why not

they've changed the play bit into an actual scene, and for how goofy it is, it's still got some pretty raw lines

also props to anime for somehow making the Songtress fight even more unsettling than it was originally. like, A Beautiful Song still absolutely slaps, and the haunting scream bit at the beginning is still one of the most chilling things in the entire OST, but anime also got its own little creepy rendition of A Beautiful Song + the Songtress's story is a lot easier to understand with both 2B's and 9S's perspectives combined.

Well last but certainly not least is some words of wisdom from Yoko Taro lol

(and absolutely vital line of dialogue, truly the genius of our time)

[writing-rat]

Competitive No More

Pairing: Bianca x Reader x Wednesday

Requesed by: @iamthewoe

Content Warning: Double Penetration, Both Wednesday and Bianca have a dick, cat reader, you have a tail, restrained

Summary: Wednesday and Bianca both want you when Wednesday has a proposition.

Word Count: 1481

Wednesday and Bianca were more competitive. People could tell from how they acted with each other. Where there were insults, there were glares and growls at each other instead. They were clearly disagreeing over something and no one knew what. It wasn’t about the top place in fencing as Wednesday and Bianca were actually tied. They thought it had to do with how one wanted to be the best, however, both girls were content staying tied, in fact, it was better for both of them.

No, only the Nightshades knew the only reason for the fighting. It was over one certain student, their name being Y/N. This led to how you were currently with Enid, just talking to her and smiling as your cat tail was swaying about happily  Bianca and Wednesday were staring, then glaring at each other before Wednesday was thinking. “Why don’t we share them?” she asked. Bianca looked over quickly at Wednesday, shock in her eyes. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously, tilting her head with a soft smirk. “You date them, I date them too. Isn’t that simple enough for your small fish brain?” Wednesday sassed out. Bianca then shrugged and thought. “It’ll just be like our fencing title. That’s shared,” Wednesday added.

“Alright, but we get to share them equally, got it?” Bianca asked, Wednesday nodded. 

-

It was 3 weeks after agreeing to share, and one had yet to ask. They were both scared to ask you out, so they decided to not ask yet. Wednesday didn’t want to seem pathetic, and Bianca was scared of rejection. You were currently in class with the 2, staring at the teacher as you listened to her. “Now, partner up into groups of 3. You will be working on a presentation for a week, talking about dangerous plants,” the teacher spoke. Just as you got up, Bianca and Wednesday were already by your side. “We will work with you,” Wednesday stated as Bianca nodded with a smirk. 

“Yeah, just want to make sure you pass,” Bianca nonchalantly said as she grabbed her bag. “Want to go to my room to do the presentation? Divina practically lives with Yoko now so it’s free,” Bianca asked. 

Shocked by having 2 partners already, you nodded with a small smile. You wondered why some of the most popular people in the school wanted to work with you when you were practically nothing, well, minus one of the only cat people there. You walked with both of them as they spoke, your tail swaying and your ears back, not wanting to interrupt the 2. You knew that Wednesday and Bianca could be cruel after all if they were interrupted. “So, Y/N, how are you today?” Bianca asked after a little chat with Wednesday, both realising you weren’t contributing quickly. You, meanwhile, blinked in shock at them talking to you but you didn’t say anything about that. “I am doing good,” you spoke politely. “You?” you added on quickly. 

“Dreadful,” Wednesday before Bianca smirked.

“She’s doing good I promise, same as me,” she spoke before you were at the Siren’s dorm. You knew from the house you were in and also you knew where Bianca stayed. Wednesday walked in first, you following then Bianca behind you, closing the door. 

Just as quickly as you had entered, you were pinned down against Bianca, who was holding your hips while Wednesday held your shoulders and smirked. “I can't resist it anymore,” she spoke before she kissed your neck gently. Bianca meanwhile kissed the other side. “W-what?” you practically moaned out. 

“You don’t know how much we both wanted you, that’s why we were fighting for a few weeks. We agreed to share you though, if you want,” Bianca spoke, her hands starting to stroke your tail. Moaning, you gasped and arched your back as you were nodding, feeling how Wednesday was pressing her bulge against your thigh while Bianca’s was against your ass. Bianca grinded against you as she kissed your neck. You had a feeling your underwear wouldn’t be saved after this experience. “Words baby,” Bianca mumbled as Wednesday groped your breast suddenly.

“Please, I want you both,” you obeyed like a dog, Bianca’s hand stroking your tail faster as you whimpered and whine, cumming just from that admittedly and you knew that both of them knew. They looked at you like wolves looking at prey, which made you even more turned on. “Strip,” Wednesday demanded, Bianca went over to her bed and got a pair of handcuffs out while Wednesday also joined her. You did as told, quickly taking off your jacket, shirt, tie, bra, underwear and skirt as you neatly put them in the corner. 

“Bed, now,” Bianca added on to the commands. You quickly lay down, Wednesday approaching you with a set of handcuffs. She roughly grabbed your hands and put them around the bedframe, before putting them on. You were now trapped on the bed. “The safeword is pineapple,” Bianca stated as she was walking over to her. “One in her mouth, the other in her pussy?” Bianca asked. Wednesday nodded. “I want to use her mouth first,” Wednesday stated and Bianca nodded before she was going between your legs. Wednesday meanwhile tilted your head and was standing. You licked her dick gently before Bianca was rubbing your clit, wanting to ease you into it as she was being gentle, rubbing your pussy with her other fingers, trying to make sure that she could insert a finger in first. You were sucking Wednesday’s dick meanwhile, moaning as you were licking and sucking her tip before taking in a few more inches. Wednesday let out a light groan as she let you take your time at first. She liked the vibrations of your moans on her dick.

Eventually, Bianca entered a finger inside of you which caused you to let out a louder, muffled moan. You kept sucking Wednesday, who was slowly starting to thrust into your mouth. You allowed it though, wanting to pleasure both of the girls as you were starting to let them take control. “She’s taking you so well, hm?” Bianca teased, thrusting her finger in, slowly and gently. “Yes, she is taking it better than anyone ever will. Might have to keep her,” Wednesday grunted out before she was fully thrusting it into your mouth. You gagged a few times but kept taking it as Bianca had entered 3 fingers at that point. She concluded it was enough before she entered into her. You moaned as you opened your legs wider before she wrapped them around herself as she was going to be able to enter deeper. She was halfway in, however, slowly entering more and more. Wednesday soon came into your mouth before she pulled out, giving you the choice to spit it out or swallow. You proceeded to swallow it, moaning louder when Bianca was soon thrusting inside you, fully in and noticing you were distracted.

“Fuck,” you moaned out louder as you threw your head back. Bianca smirked as Wednesday thought. “Ever tried double penetration?” she asked both of you. “No,” you moaned out nervously. “I can try,” you added quickly. 

“Let’s give it a shot then, huh baby?” Bianca asked. You nodded as Wednesday smirked, soon entering inside of you as Bianca stopped her movements just to help her enter inside. Wednesday eventually was fully inside too before Bianca smirked. “Rough and fast immediately,” Wednesday spoke, they seemingly had planned this. Bianca smirked, holding your hip with one hand and the other rubbing your clit while Wednesday groped at your beasts and rubbed your nipples. You were gasping as you were gripping the bed sheets, practically ripping them as you were arching your back. Bianca and Wednesday were in perfect rhythm and pace as you couldn’t even open your eyes due to the pleasure. They smirked as they noticed that before they were both kissing each other, Wednesday removed one hand from your breast and instead groped Bianca’s breast. Bianca stopped holding your hip and rubbed Wednesday’s ass as they kept going. You couldn’t help it as they were hitting your g-spot before you came on both of their dicks. Bianca and Wednesday smirked as they kissed, and after a few more thrusts, they sped up. 

They were whispering to each other before they came at the same time, as you were panting. Slowly they pulled out before they looked down at you. “Need some water and food?” Bianca asked. 

“Just cuddles,” you mumbled out. Bianca looked at Wednesday who nodded. “We can have food and water tomorrow,” Wednesday confirmed before getting into bed and holding you gently. Bianca meanwhile went behind you too and held the both of you, smiling.

“Goodnight,” she spoke and kissed your forehead as Wednesday was nuzzled into your neck. You smiled, quickly falling asleep.

[curseduni]

Enamoured

Summary: Enid and Ajax seem to be a perfect couple. A partnership forged from true love. What if one's heart isn't truly in the right place?

Ship: Wenclair, Enjax

AN: Inspired by the song, "Moth to a Flame" by Swedish House Mafia and The Weeknd

Like a moth to a flame

I'll pull you in, I'll pull you back to what you need initially

It's just one call away

And you'll leave him, you're loyal to me

But this time I let you be

Enid and Petropolus were at it again giggling and whispering about something in the corner of the library. Despite their efforts to be quiet, I could still hear them from the other side of the building. It sends a burning feeling up my veins, something I could not identify. It seemed to be jealousy? No, anger? It would make sense but no matter, research is more important.

I was lost in the paragraphs upon paragraphs of content this book gave me that I nearly failed to identify the pair of footsteps getting nearer and nearer. I looked up in time to see Enid and Petropolus standing side by side, cheeks flushed. 

“Hey, Wends! We were just going to the Weathervane. Do you want us to get anything for you?” Enid spoke with a dreadfully cheery voice. 

It disappoints me that the gorgon thought that this lousy excuse was enough to convince me of his actual motives. I expected more from Enid’s paramour but this could be blamed on Esther.

“What I need.” I started, gauging the pair’s reactions, “Is Enid helping me with my Werewolf research.”

Enid looked like she was about to agree as her smile widened a fraction, but a look from Petropolus told another story.  

“But,” I continued, interrupting Enid who was about to say something, “I would appreciate it if you could get me a quad over ice.”

The spark in Enid’s eyes dimmed a little but she nodded. I gave her a look that said we would talk later before nodding back and beckoning them to go already.

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true

I was sat reading at the most secluded spot at the Weathervane with the rest of the nightshade’s inner circle watching Enid’s “date” with the gorgon. A new wave of hushed whispers grew around me. I looked up to see the gorgon urging Enid to eat at least a bite more.

Oh, how your face says everything. He makes you feel wanted, loved, and how everything should be. A normal outcast mate for a werewolf-like YOU.

Someone nudged me on the shoulder before they whispered, “ They look so perfect, right?” The now-identified Yoko asked. 

The audacity of this girl… I looked back to the gorgon only to see him making heart eyes at her. I can’t help but grit my teeth at the genuineness of it all. With difficulty, I replied, “They do.”

But does he know you call me when he sleeps?

I was sitting at my desk, my hands gliding over each key of my typewriter as Viper goes through with her investigations. She was investigating a murder. The victim’s body was mangled and unrecognizable; Their limbs were strewn about the crime scene. Viper was alone in the forest where the murders happened, hoping to encounter the assailant. A piece of loose rope dangled from a tree. She was about to touch it when-

My head snapped towards the sound as my phone rang; The horribly annoying ringtone immediately told me who it was. I reached for my phone and opened it, noting the time: 21:16 (9:16 pm). I answered the call and held the soul-sucking device up to my ear.

“Hey Willa,” Enid’s voice sounded. It was soft and gentle. One reserved for our nightly talks. It all started the night after THE incident where Enid couldn’t sleep. It then evolved to an every night meeting, talking about our woes. 

“Hello, I was under the impression that Petropolus was staying with you,” I stated, slightly confused.

“Oh, he is,” Her voice perked up as if she just remembered. “He just passed out. Apparently, someone drugged his drink during dinner.”

“How unfortunate,” I replied, deadpan, not feeling bad at all.

Enid giggled slightly, “Oh! I was gonna ask you about that…”

But does he know the pictures that you keep?

 I was sitting on my bed, inspecting the black cat plushie that Enid had gifted me when I heard the familiar digital camera shutter sound coming from the wolf’s side of the room. I immediately looked up to see her pointing the brick of meaningless affirmation toward me. That was not acceptable. 

I stood up with the plushie still in my hand. Enid surprisingly hadn't noticed yet considering that she was definitely taking pictures of me. I walked up to her side of the room and it was only when I was right in front of her that she finally noticed that I’d caught her. 

The wolf yelped, falling towards the middle of her bed while clutching her phone. I held out my hand with my palm up, staring expectantly at her. The response I got? She just stared at me with a confused look on her face and her head tilted slightly to the side. By the gods, she really is a puppy…

“Your phone,” I elaborated. Still looking at her with an expectant look. My eyes were greeted with the reddening of my puppy’s face, knowing that I had caught her. 

“W-w-what? Why? Do you even know how to use it?” She asked, cheeks still red. Of course, I know how to use that wretched device, I’m not stupid.

“Because I said so. And yes, I do know how to use one of those. If you must know, I was the one that built and set up Pugsley’s ‘gaming setup’,” I answered, reaching for the phone that was still clutched to her chest.

Enid did not put up any fight when I pried the phone from her hands. I swiped up and was met with a password-protected phone. Good, at least my puppy isn’t that stupid. I thought of what the password could be before trying “Willa,” surprising me when it opened and showed me her home screen.

It was a picture of me holding my sword in one hand and an ice cream cone in the other. It was after one of my dueling sessions outside when Enid heard an ice cream truck and asked me to get her something as she was about to duel someone… The things I do for this girl.

I opened the photos app after a bit of searching. Seriously, how many apps did someone need? I was met with neatly organized rows and columns of labeled folders. I clicked on the first folder named “Adventure” and saw hundreds of pictures from last year’s crackstone incident. I have to say that I absolutely have no idea how she got these, there was even a picture of me holding a sword facing Crackstone! She wasn’t there when that happened…

No matter how she took these. I exited the folder and scrolled down to the end of the alphabet and to the Ws and that’s when I saw it: A folder named “Wednesday.” I clicked on it and saw photos, videos, GIFs… etc of me. Just me… 

“La mia luna…” I whispered as I scrolled and scrolled, finding more and more pictures of me from the time we spent in and out of Nevermore. 

As I had yet to reach the end, I left the app and pressed the power button. I looked up to see my puppy sitting at the edge of her bed, her hands fidgeting at the hem of her shirt and her eyes pointed at the floor. 

“Sinclar,” I said, gaining her attention as she looked at me, “You may keep them BUT you mustn’t let anyone see it”

She squealed loudly before grabbing her phone back and engulfing me in a tight embrace. It was… Warm…

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Or tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

Yeah

You should be with him, I let you go from time

You should stay with him

A soft knock reverberated through my room, interrupting me as I read my favorite book. I looked at the clock hanging from the wall:1 am. Who could be at my door this early? I silently placed my book on my bed before standing up and cautiously padding to my door. Slowly, I opened the door only to see Enid, tear tracks lining her face

I opened my door wider in order to let her in. As soon as my wolf was inside, she held out her arms silently asking for permission to hug me. I, of course, allowed it and stepped into her space. Her arms wrapped tightly around me whilst burying her face into the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent. Who was I to refuse? Especially with my puppy being in such a state.

“What happened?” I asked gently, running my hands through her blonde curls.

That was the question that broke the dam as the pup’s body was wracked with sobs. I felt her tears hit the skin on my neck, some being soaked up by my shirt. 

“My mom,” she uttered between sobs, so quiet that I was barely able to hear it.

I just continued stroking her hair as I rested my chin on her head, whispering sweet nothings to her. No words were needed to convey how I feel about all of this. She already knew.

I don’t know how long we stood in that position but neither of us minded. It felt only seconds before she lifted her face up and looked me in the eyes. 

“I love you,” Enid whispered, not looking away from my eyes. I stared back.

“I love you too, Il mio cucciolo,” I whispered back, my hand reaching up to cup her face.

We stood for what seemed like hours, not wanting to let each other go. A bang and scuttling took us out of our trances as Thing walked in.

“I gotta go,” Enid uttered, “Ajax is probably looking for me… I kinda left him alone

I nodded, “Go, you should stay with him should an incident occur.”  before leading her to the door and letting her go…

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

And all your friends say he's the one

His love for you is true (hey)

Today was the dreaded parents’ day. Luckily for me, my family had gone to visit a relative of ours in the Pacific, which means I don’t have to deal with their annoying overly emotional selves. 

I walked out to the front courtyard of the school which has been turned into a place for gathering. I sit at one of the tables closest to the school. To my dismay, it seemed that the Nightshades saw fit to join me without my permission. I allowed it only because it because they were watching and talking about mia lupa. 

I looked across the grounds and saw Enid’s family sitting and talking with the gorgon. Oh, how I loathe that boy. I tuned everything out and focused on your conversation. This was an ability I picked up from Uncle Fester, he’d always be on the run after all. 

She was refusing to eat stating that she wasn’t hungry. I would have fed you by hand but that gorgon managed to urge her to eat. Enid’s smile widened as a comment about a proper mate and a pack escaped Esther’s lips. That woman shall die by my hand.

“They look sooo cute together!” A voice I recognized as Divina’s, said.

I looked around my table and saw everyone agreeing. It was unanimous that they all thought the gorgon was the one for her. It was your choice and to my absolute resentment, I saw that whatever they both had was very real and he makes Enid feel like she belonged, especially within the traditional Werewolf packs. 

But does he know you call me when he sleeps? (No, no)

Waking up to a brick of soul-sucking technology blasting music was not the most pleasant feeling in the world. Although, it did help tolerate more of my surroundings whenever I venture out to Jericho. I sat up and picked said brick up. I opened it, the brightness of the screen temporarily blinding me before my eyes adjusted to the light. I checked the time. It read 2:17 am.

I rubbed my bleary eyes before unlocking the device and saw what had caused that abhorrent noise. It was Enid. She called. It was no more than 5 minutes ago when she last called. My mind immediately went on full alert before calling her back.

“Lupa?” I called as soon as someone picked up.

I heard a sniffle before what sounded like a teary response, “Hey Willa…”

“What possessed you to call at such an unholy hour?” I asked, wanting to get straight to the point.

“I- I was just gonna miss us, y’know? Tomorrow’s our last day.” She spoke, stuttering and pausing, trying to get through the sentence.

“Do not worry puppy, I will spend all day with you tomorrow,” I responded against my own will.

“Really!” Her voice, now more energetic, “Thanks Weds!” “I’ll always be there…” I said. My response was met with a dead line.

But does he know the pictures that you keep? (Oh)

I was helping Enid pack her belongings. This day will be our final day as students in Nevermore and I intend to savor it and make it the best for Enid.

I spent half the day listening to her babble about everything as we packed away all her belongings. The multitude of vividly colored clothes and items in a suitcase, although neatly folded and organized, looked a lot more like unicorn vomit than when I first saw her room. 

I walked back into her closet, looking for anything we missed. Finding nothing, I walked back to her room and checked under the now bare bed. There was a box tucked away in a corner as if it was deliberately hidden.

“Enid,” I called, still eyeing the box, too far under for me to reach.

No response. I looked around for her only to find a note that said she had to pick something up from one of her teachers. 

I shrugged before finally trying to reach the box myself. It wasn’t easy, but I finally got it. I had to crawl my way under the bed and I was luckily small enough to fit.

I lifted the box up into the bed before picking the lock that held the lid close. I wasn’t ready for the sight that greeted me. There were stacks and stacks of polaroid pictures of me scattered about the box. Same with the pictures on her phone, I did not know how she got these. As I was thinking of an idea, a devilish idea presented itself to me; An equally devilish smile formed on my lips.

I took one of the pictures and signed it before placing it back and snapping the lid closed. Very devilish indeed…

But does he know the reasons that you cry?

Or tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies

Right here with me, babe

Where it truly lies

My bed, babe

Where it truly lies

In my arms, babe

Where it truly lies

(Oh-oh-oh)

After helping Enid pack, we spent the day in Jericho. It was… tolerable. Although I had to stop her from purchasing more stuffed animals. It’s arguably more creepy to have so many of them than my collection of decapitated dolls.

The sun was setting when we arrived at my dorm. Enid had insisted that she walk me there.

“C-can I stay with you tonight?” She asked, hesitantly, holding onto my hand tight as she did so.

 I nodded mutely before pushing the door to my room open and walking in with her trailing behind me. I sat down on my bed, letting her sit beside me. 

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Enid inevitably lost it and began to sob. I put a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, only to be dragged into one of her embraces. 

I don’t know what exactly happened but it was just about Midnight when I saw myself laying down with my arms around my puppy with one of my hands running through her blonde locks. 

Where it truly lies

Where it truly lies

(Hey)

Where it truly 

A big applause snapped me out of the memories as the people at the bar enjoyed the last words of the song. The Addams family had owned this bar for generations and I recently found out that people in this bar seemed to enjoy my music whether it be from my cello or my own voice. 

That doesn’t matter. What matters is why I couldn’t get her out of my mind. It has been 5 years since I’ve seen her and every single day of those years would always contain an aspect of her. It’s driving me insane. Maybe going insane doesn’t sound so bad.

I looked at the sea of people that enjoyed my performance. My eyes combed through different faces, normies, and outcasts. As my eyes reached the far corner of the bar, I came across something hauntingly familiar…

A distinct pair of clear blue crystalline eyes stared back at me that could only belong to one person…

[thebeingofeverything]

Ok I’ll bite, I’m curious:

Mephisto/Amaimon - why ship it? (All 3 q’s)

Rin/Shiemi — why don’t you ship it? (I hope I’m asking this right)

I think we will probably have similar reasons but it never hurts to ask!

Mefiama, why ship it:

1. Ok! So for the first, really my og aoex ship was amairin bc I'm a battle couple shipper first and foremost but mefiama was a close second and it's bc I'm a demon lover after everything lololol

Specifically, I've loved characters like mephisto and amaimon as long as I can remember, starting from my og fav yyh Yoko Kurama and Hiei (which in my head is a different ship than Hiei/Kurama). But, like that ship, I actually never really liked/like the ways fandom portrays them. Characters like Hiei and Amaimon both end up woobified and turned into stereotypical uke characters with the big sexy dom/seme mephisto/Kurama to seduce/play with them.

And to me that always pissed me off bc of how ooc it made them all out to be. I love Hiei and Amaimon bc they're little feral shitheads who have a massive independent streak to them and act/are totally inhuman. They both poke at each other and cause each other headaches and I live for it lololol

They're spicy as hell too and I love that in a ship. The second I saw Mephisto keeping Amaimon strung up on spears in the cuckoo prison that was it for me 😩👌🔥

2. The draw for these characters and the ship is that they're both inhuman creatures that only pretend at humanity, or in amaimons case, is forced to play nice by mephisto if he wants to be stomping around his territory.

What I really love about them, though, is that while Mephisto has the upper hand in the dynamic, Amaimon also knows his character and can see past his clown mask bullshit. He knows the demon Mephisto really is under all the sparkles and show boating. He's an observer and even when Mephisto is focusing on his goals and plots and shows, Amaimon is there on the sidelines keeping tabs and picking everything apart. I think Amaimon thinks Mephisto is interesting or has potentially interesting ideas. The thing about demons is they're constantly looking for something to keep them interested through their eternal existences and with Mephisto, Amaimon has a source of enrichment lol

I also like the fucked up premise of how Amaimon has an inherent trust in Mephisto that gets abused in canon. We saw him getting incredibly hurt by the shiemi reveal, as if Mephisto keeping that info from him meant Mephisto was treating him like one of his human pawns and not with respect as another demon king.

3. I'm not sure if there's an unpopular opinion I have for them, except that I tend to find most fandom treats them incredibly ooc and it makes it difficult for me to enjoy content of them from others. Mephisto as the over simplified seductive seme, doing typical melodramatic evil villain stuff and Amaimon being reduced to a uwu baby idiot who has never had sex despite being a who knows how old demon king. I've got a ton of bitching I've done over the years about it (and it's the same treatment Hiei always got back in the day so I'm used to the frustration) 😂

Rinshi, Don't Ship:

1. Man I feel really bad to say this but this is one of the most vanilla/boring ships in the fandom outside of bonrin. It's just so typical hot headed anime boy protag/girl next door love interest, even as much as they're both incredibly well developed characters, and as much as I love Rin.

It really just comes down to Rin being a, like, base ingredient for me as a ship. Like him being involved in a ship isn't on its own enough to make me enjoy/ship something. (Amaimon, on the other hand, immediately spices any ship up and I've even got a few rinamaishi fic aus out there lol). But I've never been interested in the sweet, hard-working character archetype. I can't help it, I'm into edgy bastard gremlin characters, the antagonists and anti heroes lololol (The exception to this in aoex is Yuri and that's bc she's got that little mischievous bad girl zing to her I love lololol). Shiemi just doesn't have that spice I need to really invest in a character.

2. What would have made me like it is just if Shiemi was a different character lololol like, she's just too sweet for me, like a marshmallow. Her in her string Independent woman era isn't really doing it for me either bc it feels like all her character development got cut out in that training arc she was just in. We missed a good opportunity to see her reconcile things with her grandma and her growth just to watch her toss an Amaimon copy and it feels like we got cheated out of her character arc.

If she just had that little spark that Yuri had it might work for me but I haven't seen it and until then it feels like every other typical anime main character/love interest ship, and it's just never been a dynamic I've never been into.

3. Positive things I have to say are that I think Kato has always done a phenomenal job making her characters feel realistic and not the usual anime shallow stereotypes. So when ppl tell me they enjoy the ship I'm like yeah, if ur into those kinds of characters and that ship dynamic, you've come to the right series to get a really well developed couple who feel fleshed out and who have had a developing relationship throughout the series. Totally understandable, just not for me.

I hope I actually answered these right 😂 thanks for the ask @philosophicalparadox 🩷

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday, October 12

DRUSILLA: He fills my head. I can't hear anything else. SPIKE: Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword... ANGELUS: Someone worthy. SPIKE: Mm. The demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues. DRUSILLA: He will swallow the world. ANGELUS: And every creature living on this planet will go to hell. My friends, we're about to make history... end.

~~BtVS 2x21 “Becoming, Part 1”~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

An Eye For An Eye (Spike/Xander, M) by skargasm

Things Unsaid (Drabble Topic: Hollow) (Buffy/Angel, G) by a2zmom

The Rocky Hotel (Buffy/Giles, E) by Skyson

[Collection] Ships Crossing Exchange 2024 - 3 works for BtVS (xovers, misc ratings) by Unrevealed Authors

Kinktober 2024: Warmth (Buffy/Giles, E) by HuonParticlesAreHarmless

Kinktober 2024: Handjob - Part 2 (Buffy/Giles, E) by DancingAngel0013

[Chaptered Fiction]

Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 345 (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, T) by madimpossibledreamer

Laughing In The Sugar Bowl, Chapters 1-2/3 (Buffy/Spike, not rated, tagged with Explicit content) by bunniesarebad

Breaking Point, Chapter 6/? (Fred/Wesley/Gunn, M) by Ren (mizdarknezz3)

Double Date, Chapter 4/? (Buffy/Giles, E) by Rippertish

hit rewind, Chapter 79/? (Buffy/Spike, Buffy/Angel, M) by untiljanuary

In the Company of Witches and Slayers:, Chapter 163/200 (Willow/Tara, E) by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer)

What If Love Was Enough?, Chapters 1-6/17 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Spikelover4ever

Until Only the Ashes Remain, Chapter 2/? (Willow/Buffy, Willow/Faith, M) by tieflingliker

Of Blood and Pleasure, Chapter 8 (Ensemble, M) by

[French Language] Do as Romans do, Chapter 46 (Dawn/Spike, T) by OldGirl-NoraArlani

reciprocity, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by HappyWhenItRains

Be Back Before Dawn, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Blissymbolics

Incarnate, Chapter 18 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Sigyn

Sold Out, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Melme1325

The joining of souls, Chapter 19 (Buffy, LotR xover, FR13) by delfine

reciprocity, Chapters 1-2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by HappyWhenItRains

Viral, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Harlow Turner

[Images, Audio & Video]

Fanvid: only on season 3 n’ i’m so obsessed w her (Buffy, worksafe) by confusionmeisss

Artwork: Collage #195 (Buffy, worksafe) by thedecadentraven

Gifset: Every Tara look: S4E20 The Yoko Factor (worksafe) by lovebvffys

Artwork: Alright down boy (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by yarboyandy

Artwork: — I’ll make it quick. (Buffy/Spike, worksafe) by silkspectred

Artwork: Started watching this show about a dorky little librarian (Giles, worksafe) by whateveryousaycappy

Gifset: THE PROM (Buffy/Angel, ensemble, worksafe) by detectivedawnsummers

Gifset: The Earth is doomed! (ensemble, worksafe) by orion-lake

Gifset: S4/S7 [Buffy + blades] (worksafe) by 5bi5

Artwork: Collage # 196 (the gentlemen, worksafe) by thedecadentraven

Interview With The Principal by Slayin It with Juliet Landau

[Reviews & Recaps]

PODCAST: The Dark Master...bator (S5E1) by It Stakes Two

[In Search Of]

ISO: I want a cross like Buffy has. [...] How do I go about finding a similar one ? requested by Such-Wind-6951

ISO: anyone know if and where you can get this jacket? requested by omallytheally

[Community Announcements]

[Multifandom] vampire appreciation week 2024 by buffysummers

[Fandom Discussions]

It truly is a shame that everything leading up to Jasmine is so entirely sh*t by paarthursass

Lol Buffy and Spike in Something Blue are really embarrassing before the spell? by mybloodyvampire

I find it odd that every member of the Scoobies doesn’t attempt to learn magic by thequeenofsastiel

The Scoobies and Spike standing up for Tara is honestly one of my top BtVS moments of all time by bufferingsummers

I find it interesting that during the trials Spike endured to get his soul back, never once did we see him put on his vampire face by thequeenofsastiel

love this part of the scene in which Spike comforts Dawn in 5x19 by thequeenofsastiel

getting into buffy late in the game is so wild beacuse like… what do you mean angel was the favorite love interest? by selkiemaidenfae

[POLL] For Buffy fans that have read all of Seasons 8 - 12, which season of the Buffy comics is your favorite? by lilyginnyblackv2

[Giles is the generational filtering of trauma] by mattimus

i don’t think willow realizing she’s a lesbian is a rejection of her relationship with oz by greensaplinggrace

am i the only person who gets sad when they think about the fact that Buffy’s class protector award from prom was destroyed in 04x01 by loseremzo

“Fool for Love” is so freaking good by rock-and-compass

Spike on Angel Season 5 Was it worth it or a waste of time ? continued by Anyanka Bunny Slayer

What If: Xander was shot? continued by NoShip

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Ogre Tale for Xbox Series, PS4, Xbox One, and Switch launches July 11 - Gematsu

MAGES. will release side-scrolling beat ’em up game Ogre Tale for Xbox Series, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and Switch on July 11 for $19.99, the developer announced. Microsoft Store (Xbox Series, Xbox One pre-orders are available now at a $14.99 discount price.

Ogre Tale first launched for PC via Steam on August 20, 2020.

A major update is also now available for the PC version, which adds the following content:

Fixes for Steam Deck

Fixed a bug related to frame rate.

Adjustment of behavior when connecting an external controller

Adjustment of Some User Interfaces

Added a function for bulk sales in the store.

Added description to the special move detail screen.

Adjustment of Game Balance

Level cap changed from 50 to 100.

Added “Nightmare” and “Nightmare+” difficulty levels.

Weapons with “Multi-Jump,” “Dash in the Air,” and “Dash Attack” skills were added from the beginning.

Drop rate of items has been revised upward.

Lowered the number of times to raise the level of ultimate moves.

Lowered the conditions for obtaining some achievements.

Here is an overview of the game, via MAGES.:

About

Join ogre sisters Ran, Hana, and Yume, and their feline mentor, Iroha, in a battle against fairytale folk heroes-turned-villains via this action-packed tongue-in-cheek 2D beat ’em up romp set in modern day Japan!

Story

Hundreds of years ago, there dwelled ogres alongside humankind. These ogres were known to cause no end of problems for the humans they came upon, leading them to be feared and hated, regarded as monsters and demons. One day, a trio of soon-to-be folk heroes named Momotaro, Kintaro, and Issuntaro decided enough was enough, and set foot upon the land from whence the ogres came: Onigashima. Their goal was to confront the ogres on their own turf and take them down once and for all… and so they did. After a long struggle, Momotaro and his crew successfully defeated the leader of the ogres: the beautiful yet dreaded Iroha (CV: Yukari Tamura). And with Iroha’s defeat, the ogres themselves fell to ruin, and peace once again reigned for humanity. Momotaro, Kintaro, and Issuntaro were heralded as heroes, and they all lived happily ever after… Or did they?! Tokyo, present day. Iroha, having used an ancient technique for reincarnation upon herself just moments before her demise, has lived many lives in many forms. Finally, after nearly giving up hope, she discovers the last surviving ogres: a trio of sisters bearing the name of their ancient homeland, Onigashima. She (or, now, he, as a male cat) raises them as her/his own, strictly teaching them the ways of the sword so that one day, s/he may lead them into battle against Momotaro and reclaim the ogres’ rightful place in society. And fortunately for them, Momotaro is indeed still out there! Specifically, a guy named Momotaro—who happens to be a 37th generation descendant of the original—just so happens to have been toiling day in and day out as a host in the red light district, and has finally reached his breaking point. He has PLANS now, and suffice it to say, they’re not exactly folk-heroic! So, hey, this was supposed to just be a petty revenge story, but with Momotaro suddenly turning evil due to systemic depression, maybe the ogres can actually be the good guys this time around! Lucky… them, I guess? What even IS this story, anyway?!

Characters

Playable Characters

Ran (voiced by Yoko Hikasa) – The middle sister. Always has a sword at the ready. Innately controls fire, so many of her techniques are fire-related. More of a doer than a thinker, Ran is the type who will hit first and ask questions later. Comes across as stoic but reliable.

Hana (voiced by Ayumi Takeishi) – The eldest sister. Armed with a whip and a longbow. Don’t let her gentle voice and calm-seeming personality fool you: she’s 100 percent sadist. If you cross a line with her, she’ll mess you right up. Generally serious and confident, she’s nonetheless the voice of reason among the three.

Yume (voiced by Hina Kino) – The youngest sister. Outwardly flaunts her metal club, but also has bombs at the ready. Does not think things through, ever. She acts purely on instinct at all times. Educated through games and anime rather than textbooks, with expected results. Lures you in with her cuteness, but then absolutely demolishes you with words and weapons alike as you approach. Most definitely hazardous to your health.

Non-Playable CharactersIroha (voiced by Shigeru Chiba) – Legal (?) guardian of the three Onigashima sisters, and general chief of their operations. Possesses the reincarnated soul of the ogre leader who died hundreds of years prior. Struggles every day to raise his charges as true ogres, teaching them everything s/he knows. Yet, in the end, is still just a cat.

Momotaro (voiced by Yoji Ueda) – Momotaro the 37th (Momotaro XXXVII?). Presently works as the #1 host in Kabukicho. Though probably not for much longer, all things considered! Basically, he’s the last boss. He’s had enough of the host life, and now wants to try his hand at being a supervillain. Turns out, he’s well suited to the role!

And Many More, such as…Tsuru no Ongaeshi – The Vengeful Crane.

Urashima Taro

System

Story Mode – Select from the three Onigashima sisters and challenge main missions and side missions as the tale progresses, leveling up and earning items and money (to spend on items via online shopping, of course!) that help teach you new skills and toughen your stats for the inevitable face-off against Momotaro! Between each mission, listen to witty and often fourth wall-breaking banter among the girls, their cat guardian Iroha, and a wide variety of villains. This story doesn’t take itself very seriously, and neither should you! Just kick back and enjoy the ride!

Cooperative Multiplayer – Up to three players at once can join the fray in this chaotic frenzy of a mode, wherein a number of enemies not seen anywhere else can be encountered, and a vast fortune can be earned through contiguous beatdowns and massively one-sided fights (I mean, it’s three of you against one boss enemy! OF COURSE you’re going to kick yokai tail!).