#there is no honor among thieves

[oldschoolfrp]

There is no honor among Thieves, by Dᴀʀʟᴇɴᴇ, from the AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide, TSR, 1979

[silver-dragonborn]

You know what? I just had another fanfic idea.

After her son's death, Rhaenyra sets aside all hesitation and slaughters the Green army, becoming as ruthless as Visenya in dishing out destruction to her enemies without a shred of mercy. The Red Keep falls, Vhagar is killed in a vicious ambush, and Alicent flees Westeros with an injured Aegon and Criston Cole, hoping to form alliances to take back the throne.

It does not go well.

Aegon is crippled from his fight with Baela and can barely stand much less cut an intimidating figure or be taken seriously. They are laughed out by every single magister, archon, and merchant prince with mockery and derision. Prince Daemon's connections run far too deep for them to even consider aiding the Usurper and it doesn't help that Cole decided to show his vicious temper and punched the son of a magister for laughing at his armor. He lost his left hand for that and the trio were once again thrown out on their asses. Far from home with no allies, no gold, and two useless men to care for, Alicent sells her trinkets, her seven-pointed star necklace, and her rings to make ends meet. When the gold runs out, she and Cole sell mangos to get by.

A dream Cole coveted that soon turns into a nightmare once the reality of living a simple life sets in. Aegon prefers to hobble to a brothel to piss away whatever coin they make from selling fruit, Alicent prays and writes letters to her Hightower relatives for more gold, and Cole’s resentment towards his two charges grows by the day as he’s the only one working to keep a roof over their heads. Things take a turn for the worse when Aegon sells Alicent’s crown behind her back. Alicent is hysterical and Cole is enraged that she would hide something that could have seen them fed for months and that Aegon spent all the coin on drinks. I want to write Cole getting everything he ever wanted and hating himself when he gets it because he's grown accustomed to a luxurious life as the Queen's lapdog.

[animentality]

[startreklesbian]

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES 2023, dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Dale

[augory]

I’ve been skimming John Francis Daley’s (director on D&D: Honor Among Thieves) twitter and I continue to be so completely blown away by the movie’s commitment to practical effects and/or minimized CGI where feasible. I mean holy shit look at all this

[yendarvis]

make me choose @jodieliker asked: Xenk when he’s hot/badass or Xenk when he’s funny/literal/overly serious

[izzy-hands]

Edgin + being completely normal in his reactions to Xenk

[crowcaws]

My favourite thing about the D&D movie is it never stops trying to be a D&D movie even down to the most minute, unsung details. There's initiative order gags (I'll go last!) there's rolling a 1 gags (setting off the trap on the bridge by inexplicably just walking up to it) there's stat gags (nobody had high enough Intelligence to be in danger from the Intellect Devourers). Almost every spell is identifiable, from Xenk using smite to Sofina whipping out Finger of Death. Simon's character arc is about his self-confidence being tied to his mastery of magic because Charisma is the spellcasting stat for sorcerers. The era of movies based on games being afraid of their source material is over.

[offonaherosjourney]

A man and a woman platonically raising a child together and not falling in love has to be the biggest plotwist in the Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves movie AND my favorite part

[danielsarmand]

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) dir. Jonathan Goldstein, John Francis Daley

[alivedean]

dungeons & dragons: honor among thieves + text posts bonus:

[hashtagloveloses]

the dungeons and dragons movie is good bc some silly gay person WOULD make a bard named EDGING and go “noooo it’s pronounced ED-GIN” and their depressed gay little friend would go “this is my sorcerer. he’s cringefail and his name is simon”, and some fucking dm would go “this is my super mega paladin npc xenk with a sad backstory who fights good that i made to help you guys not die in the next encounter” and everyone at the table goes “ok but can i fuck him though”

[singing-not-sleeping-beauty]

I don't want a direct sequel to the DnD movie

I want more DnD movies with the same cast, but they play totally different characters every time, except for Xenk, who is the only recurring character in the entire franchise

[animentality]

[startreklesbian]

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES 2023, dir. Jonathan Goldstein & John Francis Daley

[gorgynei]

is this not the coolest shit you've ever seen. why did practical effects ever fall out of fashion (answer: capitalism)