#there is no 'I could fix him' or 'I would join him'
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sturniqlo · 23 hours ago
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blushing mess- shy!matt x shy!reader
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summary: where shy!matt goes up to shy!reader for the first time
cw: none! pure fluff
an: there is a lot of "uh's" in this chapter to show how nervous they are :)
masterlist | shy!matt x shy!reader | join my taglist
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wednesday
the aroma of fresh coffee and pastries hit matt as soon as he walked into the small shop he'd visit frequently. as he stood in line, he examined the room for any open tables he could sit at. he spotted one next to a girl who seemed to be studying. that's the spot, it looks like she's not the type of person to try and make small talk- he had sat to a couple of those people.
hi, can i get a medium caramel iced coffee and a vanilla scone. he rehearsed the order to himself. as he got closer to the register, he kept looking over to the table he wanted to sit at- the girl sitting at the table next to him looked up and locked eyes with him. matt being matt- he looked away as he felt the blush begin to creep up his face. she was pretty- really pretty.
"next in line!" the cashier said. matt gasped and hurried forward. "hello, how are you today." the cashier fixed her hat. "oh- uhm- i'm good today. how are you?" he didn't rehearse this. "i'm good- thank you. what can i get for you today?" she did something on the screen in front of her.
"can i get a- uh- medium caramel iced coffee and a vanilla scone." he fiddled with the debit card in his hand. "unfortunately we sold our last vanilla scone a little while ago." the cashier informed him. matt bit the inside of his cheek.
"do you have a chocolate croissant?" he asked. "yeah, we do." she nods. "i'll take one." one he finished paying, he went and took a seat at the table he had his eyes on. the girl looked up at him and smiled before looking back at her laptop. he scrolled on his phone as he waited for his ordered. from the corner of his eye, he saw the vanilla scone next to her drink.
she must've gotten the last one.
"order for matt!" the barista called out. matt stood up from his chair and walked over to her his drink and pastry. matt went back to his table and glanced over at the girl sitting next to him. she was so focused on whatever was on her screen. he saw how she had a small pout, a slight furrow in her eyebrows, and would occasionally bite her bottom lip.
stop it! she'll think you're weird! he thought and immediately looked away, taking a sip of his drink. as he continued to scroll on his phone and finish his drink and croissant he couldn't help but keep stealing glances.
soon, the girl packed up her belongings and left the cafe. matt frowned. he'll get her next time.
the following days (thursday, friday, monday, tuesday)
the next day, matt returned in hopes to see her again. when he walked in, his eyes scanned the tables, but she wasn't sitting in any of them. he ordered his usual- scone included- and sat down. anytime the door bell chimed open, he looked up, unfortunately she never walked in. on friday- he did the same. matt waited all weekend since the shop was closed to return on monday. on monday and tuesday, there was no sight of her. he was afraid he'd never see her again.
next week wednesday
it was exactly a week later since matt first laid eyes on her. he went back to the coffee shop, only this time he didn't go in hopes of seeing her. he knew he'd never see her again.
"hello, i'll have a- uhm- medium caramel iced coffee and your last two vanilla scones, please." he paid and sat down in his normal table. as he was on his phone- the door chimed opens and out of habit, he looked up. it was her. she walked in with a smile, fixing her tote bag on her shoulder removing her headphones from her ears as she ordered.
although her and the cashiers voices were muffled- he understood what she ordered: a small brown sugar cookie iced coffee and a scone. he had realized he had ordered the last two scones. when his order came out, he picked it up at the counter and went back to his table and sure enough- she was sitting in the table next to his.
he gave her a small smile and sat down mixing his iced coffee with the straw. a few minutes later her iced coffee was ready. she sat back down and took a few sips before returning back to her computer screen.
do it, matt. "did you- uh- did you want a scone?" he asked- even he was surprised by his own voice. "huh?" she didn't quite hear him at first. "a scone- i bought an extra one." he held up the extra scone in the bag. "oh- uhm- are you sure?" a slight blush creeped up on her face- and soon enough he felt his face warming up. "mhm- here you go." he handed it to her.
"thank you.." she waited for his name. "matthew, but you can call me matt- or- or matthew doesn't really matter." she giggled at his nervousness. "thank you, matt. i'm y/n." she smiled, looking away for a split second- the eye contact had gotten a bit too much for her and her face was so hot she was sure it was bright red by now. "you're welcome, y/n." her name rolled off of his tongue easily. the two have each other a smile and turned away from each other.
they both stole glances here and there. until a couple of minutes later when she was starting to pack up, matt had a mental battle with himself. what if she had a boyfriend? even worse- what if she rejects him? or what if he can't even get the sentence out? he sighed to himself. this might be the last time he'll see her.
"hey- uh- y/n." her head whipped from her bag to him. "yeah?" her voice came out soft. she liked this- the attention she was receiving from matt. y/n had always heard from her friends that the boys that went up to them were usually pervs and only wanted one thing. although she was a bit skeptical at first when he offered her his scone. he didn't bother her in a way that made her uncomfortable.
"can i- can i get you number? if that's okay with you, obviously. i- uh- i think you're really pretty. i would love to get to know you." his face beet red- he had obviously never done this before. as soon as those words hit her ears, she blushed. "oh! uhm- sure, yeah- mhm." she nodded, trying to hide her smile had was forming. matt's eyes slightly widen at the face that she had said yes.
"cool- i- uh- here's my phone." he grabs his phone from the table and he unlocks it and goes into the keypad so she can type her number in. "here you go. i'll hear from you soon?" y/n hands his phone back and fixes her bag on her shoulder. "yeah- of- of course! it was nice talking to you."
they soon parted ways.
later that day
unknown
hi, it's matt :)
from earlier today at the coffee shop
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sandraharissa · 2 days ago
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The thing they did with Silco about forgiveness and letting go was so stupid. And unfortunately Vander’s letter is a part of that. Like I wanna like it for zaundads reasons but I just can’t, it’s all so hollow.
Cos like, s1a1 Silco already forgave Vander in his own way, right? Otherwise he wouldn’t approach him and be invested in Vander joining him, right? “as time passed so did my hate” anyone?
Same with Jinx. These were never characters who were portrayed as ppl who simply needed to learn to forgive. They actually forgive very easily and freely in s1. When reuniting with Vi, Jinx is immediately happy to see her, before Vi ever has the chance to explain anything. It didn’t matter, maybe Vi did abandon her but what matters is that she’s back now. Vander did try to drown him but maybe they can fix things. This is how much they wanna make amends with their family. And it’s not just them. Vander seemingly immediately forgave Silco for killing Benzo, like he’s not mad at him at all for that in ep 3.
Like yes, Silco would never forgive Piltover and Vander and Vi were kinda framed as the ‘topside’ in the relationships but that metaphor never quite worked all the way through cos they’re not topside, they’re zaunites too. They’re family and so they get second chances easily. (That’s why I thought it was a good idea to elevate Cait as maybe even more of a rival to Jinx than Vi was, getting a Jinx vs Vi+Cait conflict, where Vi and Cait together represent Piltover, the ‘dictator’ + the peacekeeper/status quo enforcer that’s kinda in the middle)
Man, I miss how in s1 we had real conflicts (e.g. ideological) and not just misunderstandings that could be easily fixed with a poorly written letter. And so the only reason the plot happened is miscommunication ig. Like, just read the god damned letter Silco lol.
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frownyalfred · 1 day ago
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Forgive me if this slightly incoherent- I'm sick rn but I had thoughts
The three probationary leagues are young, in a way many capes aren't at their ages (over 18 but none older then 22). The trio are new to being capes, their powers manifesting later then most, and even after their power came in, they took even longer to become capes. The three weren't friends before they joined the league, but as new kids, and the fact all three were always grouped together for training, they quickly became friends.
Being a member of the Justice League is everything they've always wanted, and there is nothing the three wouldn't do to keep their places.
Often training with Batman (they don't understand why a full human has so much power in the league, but they do understand why they hate him- Batman works them past where they thought they could go. He treats everything like life or death, and crushes the glamor of being a hero under fucking paperwork and regulations upon regulations.)
So when the trio learn, the hard way why the justice league has rules on proper item detainment, why, regardless of how normal or mundane the item seems, you tag and collect it, and submit a report on it, why panic.
As probationary recruits, they don't have the resources or access to try and fix this without telling one of the Founders. And the youngest of them, the 19 year old with powers of water manipulation, insists that Batman will kick them out for this, they have to find another way- well, the other two share a look and agree.
They argue about what to do and who to ask for help hiding their mistakes, as they stand in the rubble that was once half of a town of 40,000. After all, tornadoes are destructive, and magical, fire tornadoes? The damage is catastrophic. But in the end, they agree, Nightwing is the best person to ask. He's friendly with everyone, and he'll even swap moniter room shifts with people so he has watch with Batman, who is objectly thr worst to be trapped in small room with for 4 to 6 hours. Plus, he's sat with each of them at least once and promised making mistakes happens and you just have to stand up and keep moving.
So, they go to Nightwing, all three of them feeling a wave of relief when they see his smiling, cheerful face, and beg for help.
"Please, we've stopped the artifact, and it's been properly contained now. We just need you to sign a few things, so no one investigates the damages to the town. This is our dream, and we've learned from our mistake. Please, you always say we need to have each other's back. We just knew you would be able to help and understand."
But Nightwing's face freezes, at first, then hardens, in a way that scares the trio even though the smile never falters. His body, Shifts, in way that suddenly seems... threatening, and the trio nervously share glances, and slowly they start to understand where the real mistakes have been made.
Yes exactly this!!!!!!!!
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guccixstyless · 3 days ago
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Intern (Pt. 6)
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Author's Note: Anddd the final part of the Intern Series, I'm so glad I could finish it phew, thank you guys for reading through xx
Word Count: 2941 words
Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader
Masterlist
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The next morning, the sun streamed through the tall windows of the hotel’s buffet lounge, casting a warm glow over the spread of fresh croissants, fruit, and coffee. It was a rare morning off for the crew, and everyone had gathered around a long table, chatting, laughing, and enjoying a relaxed breakfast before their day off in Paris.
Harry sat at the table, his eyes scanning the room, waiting. His fingers absentmindedly tapped against the edge of his coffee cup as he kept looking toward the door. He didn’t have to wait long. The moment Y/N stepped into the room, his face broke into a wide grin. He couldn’t help it. He felt lighter seeing her, like a weight had been lifted, just by her presence.
The clinking of silverware, the rustle of napkins, and the faint hum of conversation created a comforting atmosphere, but his mind was far from at ease. Will you accept his feelings? Did he make it more complicated by confessing so abruptly?
Just then he saw you entering.
You walked into the room, scanning the familiar faces of the crew. Sarah, Mitch, and Jeff were already seated at the table, laughing about something you couldn’t quite hear. You hesitated for just a second, taking in the scene, before you made my way over to them.
And there he was. Harry.
You don’t know why you still felt this nervous energy around him. It was ridiculous, really. Harry had been your best friend for so long, and even though you’d been through so much recently, you should have felt more at ease around him. But that was the thing, wasn’t it? The unspoken tension that seemed to hang in the air every time you were in the same room. He had been your best friend, and now… I wasn’t sure what we were anymore.
His eyes met yours as you made your way toward the table, and for a brief moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. You saw the familiar warmth in his gaze, but there was something else too—a quiet anticipation, as though he were waiting for something to happen. For you to say something, for you both to fix what had been broken.
You smiled, though it didn’t feel as natural as it used to. "Morning," you said, keeping your voice light, hoping it would mask the anxiety swirling in my stomach.
"Morning," he replied, his voice warm and filled with a kind of relief that made your heart ache. "I’m glad you could join us."
You nodded, sitting down next to him, the familiar comfort of his presence making your pulse quicken in a way you hadn’t expected. You weren’t sure what it was—maybe it was the closeness, the shared history—but there was something about Harry that always seemed to pull you in, even when you tried to fight it.
You noticed how the others didn’t seem to miss a beat, chatting casually about their plans for the day. Mitch and Jeff were already talking about exploring the city, teasing Sarah about how she always wanted to shop for clothes in Paris. Sarah rolled her eyes but smiled in return, clearly used to their playful teasing.
But no matter how normal everything around seemed, you couldn’t shake the sense that there was this wall between Harry and you. It wasn’t visible, but it was there. Every time you looked at him, you saw the familiar flicker of hope in his eyes—the same hope you had been avoiding for days now.
The conversation around the table flowed, but Harry stayed quiet, his eyes finding yours every so often, as if checking if you were alright. And you could feel it, the weight of the question hanging in the air between you. Would we talk? Or would we continue to dance around the unspoken words that neither of us wanted to say?
"You’re looking a little more… relaxed today," Mitch teased, nudging you with his elbow. "What’s going on between you and Harry? You two looking like you’ve worked out your issues?"
You froze for just a moment, trying to hide the heat creeping up your neck. "I don’t know what you’re talking about," you said, trying to sound casual, but failing miserably. Your eyes briefly flicked to Harry, who had that familiar sheepish grin on his face, as if he too were trying to brush off the comment.
Sarah smirked from across the table. "Oh, come on," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You two totally have something going on. I can see it."
You couldn’t help but laugh, though it was forced. "You guys are impossible," you muttered, trying to avoid their teasing eyes. But deep down, you couldn’t help but feel a little grateful for their distraction. It made it easier to hide the truth that had been weighing on you—the truth that you weren’t ready to face, not yet.
Jeff, ever the good sport, rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "You all know how these things go," he said with a wink. "No rush. Let’s let them figure it out on their own."
You could see the tension in Harry's shoulders, the way his hands clenched around his coffee cup as though trying to ground himself. You knew it wasn’t just about the teasing. He wanted more than just a casual conversation. He wanted us to talk. And God, you wanted to talk to him too. But the fear that had settled deep in your chest was suffocating. What if you weren’t ready to hear what he had to say?
As breakfast went on, the crew made plans to explore the city, taking advantage of the rare free day. They all seemed excited, talking about seeing the sights and enjoying the local cafés. You couldn’t blame them—Paris was beautiful, and the thought of getting away from everything for a while was tempting.
When breakfast wrapped up, everyone stood and started gathering their things. You didn’t know why, but you found yourself lingering behind, unable to shake the nagging feeling that something was going to happen today—something you weren’t quite ready for.
Harry was right next to you, walking slowly, almost as if he were waiting for you to say something. You stole a glance at him, watching as he tugged the collar of his jacket higher, his eyes lost in thought. He looked up suddenly, catching my gaze, and for a moment, neither of us said anything.
"Y/N," he said quietly, his voice low but filled with something I couldn’t quite name. "You okay."
"I'm fine," you whispered, feeling the tightness in your chest.
After strolling for a bit and when everyone was at a distance, Harry finally said, "I can’t stand this anymore," he continued, his gaze intense, searching your. "I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when I’m barely holding it together. I need to know where we stand, Y/N. Are we done, or is there something left here? Because I can’t keep pretending like I don’t feel something. I'll accept being just your friend too, as long as your'e in my life"
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "Harry," you said, your voice shaky but steady enough to make him stop in his tracks. "I miss you. I miss us. I just don't know if we're rushing."
His eyes softened, and he stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently take yours. "We don’t have to fix everything right now. I just need you to know that I’m here. I’ve always been here, Y/N. And I’m not going anywhere."
You squeezed his hand, the warmth of his touch grounding you in that moment. There was so much fear swirling inside you, but his sincerity, the softness in his gaze, was starting to break through the walls you had built.
"I keep fearing that I'm just a rebound," I said quietly, your voice barely a whisper. "I don’t want to be with you because you’re afraid of being alone."
Harry looked at you for a long moment, his thumb gently rubbing over your hand as if trying to reassure you. "I would never do that to you. This isn’t about being afraid, Y/N. It’s about knowing what I want. And what I want is you. Always you."
You closed your eyes for a second, trying to hold yourself together, but the emotions were overwhelming. "But… how do we know it’s the right time?" you whispered.
He smiled softly, stepping closer. "We don’t. But I’m willing to wait. For as long as it takes. I’ll wait for you, Y/N. You’re worth it."
Your heart swelled at his words, the wall you had been building around yourself starting to crack. "You really mean that?"
"More than anything," he said, his voice full of certainty.
You met his gaze, the truth in his eyes undeniable. For the first time in what felt like forever, you saw the man you had always known—steady, genuine, and full of love. Maybe we didn’t have all the answers. Maybe things were still complicated. But for the first time in a long while, you were ready to take a step forward. With him.
"Alright," you said, my voice barely above a whisper, "let’s try this. Together."
Harry’s smile lit up his face, his eyes brighter than you’d seen them in days. "Together," he whispered.
You pulled him in for a kiss, and he kissed you back with so much intensity and full of love, you could hear your friends whislting behind with a chorus of "I knew it!" "Finally." "I told you."
You both break the kiss with a smile and look at each other fondly.
"Can I take you on a date?" Harry asked shyly.
"I'd love that," you answered.
You both ditched the friend group and went your way.
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The evening air in Paris was crisp and refreshing, the kind of cool that made you want to hold hands and pull your jacket a little tighter around you. Harry and you had decided to take a stroll through the streets of the city, away from the chaos of the concert and the noise of the hotel. The city lights twinkled like tiny stars above, casting a soft glow on the cobblestone streets. It was as if Paris itself was putting on a show just for us.
"Where to now?" Harry asked, his hand intertwinded with yours, as you walked side by side. He looked down at you with a playful glint in his eyes, his messy curls barely visible under the low light, his lips pulled into a grin.
“How about that little bakery over there?” You suggested, pointing to a shop with a window display full of colorful macarons and tempting pastries.
Harry raised an eyebrow, his lips curling into a smile. “Macarons, huh? Are you sure you can handle all the sweetness in one sitting?”
“Hey,” you laughed, nudging him gently with your shoulder. “I’m not the one who can't resist sugar. We both know you have a secret macaron addiction.”
He looked at you with mock offense, clutching his chest dramatically. “I am not addicted!” he insisted, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. “But… since you’re offering…”
Yoy walked into the bakery, the warmth of the place immediately surrounding us. The shelves were lined with delicate pastries and neatly stacked boxes of macarons in every color imaginable. Harry’s hand found yours again, and you squeezed it, feeling the familiar rush of happiness at the simple contact.
“You go ahead and pick something,” he said with a smile, his eyes scanning the colorful treats. “I’ll just be over here, making sure I’m not eating the entire shelf of macarons.”
You nodded and went to see the options, finally you picked out a box of macarons in soft pastel shades. “These look like they’re from a fairy tale,” you said returning to Harry’s side, holding the box out for him.
His eyes widened in playful surprise. “You’re right, they’re practically magical.”
With a smirk, he plucked a pink macaron from the box, carefully inspecting it. “How about a challenge?” Harry asked, his voice low with excitement.
“Challenge?” I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of challenge?”
“If I guess your favorite flavor, you have to let me feed you the first bite,” he said with a grin, clearly proud of himself for coming up with such a clever idea.
You laughed, shaking your head. “You’re on, Styles. But don’t get cocky. I’m not easy to guess.”
He narrowed his eyes at you, focusing intently on the box of macarons. After a few moments of dramatic consideration, he picked one up and held it out. “This one. I think it’s your favorite. You’ve got a thing for vanilla, don’t you?”
You bit my lip, pretending to deliberate. “Vanilla? Are you sure? What makes you think that?”
Harry shrugged, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. “I’ve been paying attention. You always pick the simplest, most comforting things.”
You raised an eyebrow, impressed with his reasoning. “That’s… kind of sweet, actually.”
“Well, I am sweet,” he teased, winking at you.
You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling my heart soften at his words. "Alright, fine, you got me. Vanilla is my favorite."
Harry beamed with victory, his eyes twinkling. “Told you.”
He then took the macaron, gently breaking it in half, and offered me the first bite. You leaned forward, taking a small bite, savoring the smooth, creamy filling. The sweetness was subtle but perfect, and you found myself smiling without even realizing it.
“That’s good,” you said, looking up at Harry. “You have good taste.”
His face lit up at the compliment, and he reached for another macaron. “So, do I get to try one now?” he asked, the playful edge still in his voice.
“Of course,” you replied, offering him the box. “Go ahead. Just don’t eat them all.”
“I’ll try to save some for you,” he promised, flashing me a mischievous grin before taking one of the macaron halves and biting into it.
After finishing the box of macarons, you left the bakery and continued walking through the city, Harry slipping his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. The chill of the evening air didn’t seem to matter anymore, not with the warmth of his touch and the quiet, unspoken connection between us.
He stopped walking and turned to face you, his hands on my shoulders, gently pulling me closer. “I’ve always had feelings for you, Y/N. But I didn’t want to push you, not after everything. I’ve been an idiot for not telling you sooner.”
You smiled softly, your heart swelling at his confession. “I’ve cared about you too, Harry. Since the beginning of tour actually. But I was just scared to admit it, scared of what it would mean for us.”
Harry stepped closer, his forehead resting against yours. “Oh baby, we wasted so much time, yeah? Now let's make up for those,” he smiled softly.
You closed my eyes for a moment, letting the words sink in. When you opened them again, you smiled up at him, a playful glint in your eyes. “Well, if we’re going to make the most of our time, we might as well make it official.”
His eyes sparkled with excitement. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
You leaned up, brushing your lips against his lips, giving him a quick peck, then whispered in his ear. “Yeah, I’m saying ask me to be your girlfriend already, Styles”
Harry grinned, his hands pulling me into a tight embrace. "Finally," he whispered, his voice full of relief and joy. He leaned in slightly, his voice lowering as he spoke, like this was the most important question he could ever ask. "Will you be my girlfriend, Y/N?"
Your heart skipped a beat. The way he asked it—so raw, so vulnerable—made everything inside of you light up. You couldn’t help but smile, your cheeks flushing. You had imagined this moment countless times, but hearing it from him, feeling it, made it more perfect than you could have ever dreamed.
You looked at him, the words y’d been holding in finally escaping me. "Harry... yes. Yes, I will. I want to be yours."
The relief on his face was immediate, his eyes lighting up like a thousand stars. His grin spread across his face, and he didn’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug. You felt his warmth surrounding me, his arms strong and reassuring as he whispered in your ear, "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Y/N. I promise, I’ll never take you for granted."
You smiled, pulling back just enough to look at him. "I’m happy too, Harry. I’ve wanted this for so long."
He leaned in then, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, before pulling back with a playful glint in his eyes. "Good. Because I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now."
"I think I can live with that." You laughed
As you both sat down on a bench nearby, the world around you seemed to melt away. It was just you and Harry, sharing this perfect, intimate moment together. The kind of moment you never forget. It wasn’t just a first date anymore—it was the beginning of something real, something beautiful, and it felt like everything was finally falling into place.
"I love you, Y/N," Harry murmured, his voice soft but filled with certainty.
"I love you too, Harry," you whispered back, knowing, without a doubt, that this was exactly where you were meant to be.
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Taglist: @ever-since-the-kilt @pxrrishly @jld20047 @thecraziestcrayon @emma1998sblog @lovrrysworld-ally @jackiehollanderr @sassamanda77
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notreallythatlost · 1 day ago
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AAAAAA THIS WAS AMAZING
JUST FREAKING AMAZING I CAN’T
i have so much to say so here we go…
You had pulled him close to your breast and sank down into the petaled carpet of the forest floor, stroking his hair and listening as he raged on about the war in the north.
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You love him like this; no cares, no worries of war. You can soothe him like no one else, a great source of pride whenever he mentions it.
LITERALLY A BABY
"You're staring, love." He smiles, snapping open his eyes and fixing you with an affectionate expression that makes your heart melt.
STARING AT YOU??? ALWAYS
"Love, we have to go, come now," he holds you firmly by the arms, shaking you a little to clear your mind of the dust and debris and blood on the streets of Gondolin.
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the whole scene has me in pieces, she had to leave everything behind (for that i would curse morgoth too)
The crushing weight of the love in his hole of a heart moves his hand before he can stop himself. With gnawing doubt in his stomach, he wordlessly takes the knife from you, mixing his pitch black blood with your own on the page.
he really loves her, that‘s the proof 😭😭
"Forever and a day, a lonely fate will be yours. You shall not know the word of a friend, the loyalty of a follower, or the touch of a lover. I curse you to wander the Seen and Unseen world alone, craving the connection you sought to sunder here."
THAT IS WHAT HE DESERVES AND NOTHING LESS
"The Valar will never look upon me favourably, beloved. I could present them Melkor in chains and they would only bind me to him."
AHH STOP THESE LINES I‘M CRYING
"I don't need to. Love, you will join me." His desperation becomes honeyed, dripping with the devotion you so crave from him.
devotion? sounds more like obsession 🧐
"Who do you think you are?" He hisses, venom in every word; you don't recognise him, cold terror in your heart at the sudden switch, as if someone had doused the candle burning for you in his heart with oil, engulfing him with wildfire.
HOW DARE YOU ASKING THAT QUESTION???
"I know exactly who I am. I'm the woman who leaves you."
my heart just broke
"And where will you go? Your people are scattered and displaced, and who would take you in if they knew?" His sweetly honeyed words still bite at your heart, settling in the pit of your stomach.
i would‘ve killed him for this words
He pushes his thigh between your legs, letting you grind yourself against him instinctively, and he groans, deep and low in his chest.
what… what did i say?
His clever fingers usually make light work of the laces of your corset, but his impatience defeats him, and he pulls a dagger from the lining of his robes, slicing cleanly through the fabric.
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Twin crowns, wrought in black iron, twisted and wicked, emanating a dark power that made you nauseous; ready for the heads of Middle Earth's new King and Queen. (…) He falls to his knees, his head in line with your mound. He looks up at you, locking his gaze with yours, and delves into your folds with his tongue, seeking your pleasure. (…) He worships at your altar, an acolyte to your pleasure, drawing unearthly sounds from deep within you, willing you to just stay and be his.
screaming, crying, throwing up
"If you were to leave me," he moans against your heated skin, stroking his cock against your thigh, "there would be no rest for any bird, beast, or being in this land, no sleep, no sustenance, these lands would burn until you were returned to me."
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A chorus of "mine" and "please" fill the air, and you're unsure whose voice is the louder, who is more desperate in their claiming of the other.
i’m always forgetting about breathing oml
It is only when you finally see daylight, pushing open the great black doors to the fortress, that you can breathe a sigh of relief. If you can just get a headstart, perhaps you'll be able to outrun him.
noo stoop 😭
As he lay in a pool of thick black blood, his last thought was of you; how could you betray him? And thank the Valar you did.
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It is as you contemplate your frozen breath in the air, that you realise you can't feel him. A vacuum in your mind, a void in your heart that you haven't experienced in more than a thousand years, and you can barely recognise that it is his absence that has left such a hole.
this whole fic left a hole in my heart too
i have to go… doing things… crying
Haunted (Sauron/F!Reader)
...by the kiss you should never have given me
Lots of mini-chapters add up to an omnibus of angst, as we follow Sauron through the centuries and discover exactly what happened before his coronation.
Sequel to To Have and To Hold // Prequel to In the Dark of the Night // AO3 Link
Soundtrack: Kiss Me Harder by Jordan Fiction, Judas by Lady Gaga, Angels by Within Temptation, Heaven's A Lie by Lacuna Coil, NFWMB by Hozier
Warnings: 18+! Angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, canon typical violence, manipulation, toxic relationship (more overt towards the end), obsessive!Sauron, soft!Sauron (yes the two can coincide), knifeplay (just a tiny bit), blood magic, Sauron is a bit of a dick towards the end, sorry, accidental prey/predator kink, knifeplay (again, tiny bit), grinding, slightly dubious consent (you do want it, but I'll tag anyway), oral sex (female receiving), P in V sex, more blood.
A/N: little bit of jumping around in this one, sorry, we start just after the wedding, then we jump to the fall of Gondolin, a little magic ritual in the middle, then the fallout from the sinking of Beleriand (why do you keep getting caught up in this??), then we close out the First Age with a little argument before someone's coronation! Little slices of their romance in quick succession! I went a little experimental in the form of this one, with a bunch of flashbacks informing the main plot at the end. I hope it works 🤞
Special thanks to @olchr-1 for the idea for our revenge on Morgoth!!
Translation note: Amartherui translates in Sindarin to "lonely fate" [Fate (amarth) Alone (erui)]
Word Count: 6k!
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Fingers entwined with his, head on his chest, you were enthralled by him, by every pretty word and sweet gesture. Every time he came to visit, you would spend days on end in your secluded glade, to make up for his inexplicably long periods of absence. Sometimes he would come to you with dizzying tales of his latest triumphs, preening under your undivided attention. But lately he had taken to returning under black clouds, tetchy where he was usually playful, and rough where gentleness once reigned.
You had pulled him close to your breast and sank down into the petaled carpet of the forest floor, stroking his hair and listening as he raged on about the war in the north. You had kin fighting the armies of Morgoth, and knew his sorrows all too well, but something behind his eyes told you it was more than he was letting on.
You weave strands of his hair into elaborate braids in your lap, before undoing them and creating something greater in their stead. He eventually quiets under your idle fiddling, eyes drifting shut with a contented smile gracing his face, like a cat napping in the afternoon sun. You love him like this; no cares, no worries of war. You can soothe him like no one else, a great source of pride whenever he mentions it.
You gaze down at his unearthly smooth features and trace each contour with your eyes; your fingers slow in their busy work, moving gently across his scalp, lazily twisting his hair around your finger, making a ring to match the one he'd gifted you, ornate and bejeweled, glittering with an impossible inner light, to replace the woven band of purple iris that he'd improvised on the night of your wedding.
"You're staring, love." He smiles, snapping open his eyes and fixing you with an affectionate expression that makes your heart melt.
"Is a wife not allowed to stare at her husband? Are there no privileges to marriage at all?" Your voice is soft but your tone is mischievous, and he smirks.
"I can think of a few, ah, privileges, dearest, in fact we have exercised a few already today." He raises his eyebrows, before pulling you down to meet his lips. "But if you need reminding, you need only ask."
-
You had agreed to meet in the same secluded glade at the next new moon, but he never showed. The hours you wasted awaiting his return were at first exciting, full of electric anticipation that only love's first bloom can give. As the moon slowly passed overhead, and twinkling stars gave way to blazing sun, you shed many a tear at your folly. Perhaps he had been some mirage, an illusion to tempt you? Or perhaps the depth of his feeling did not match yours, a fleeting thought you had to bury deep in case it irrevocably shattered your heart.
You frequent the glade every so often, convincing yourself that it was a perfectly fine place to pass your time, and that you were not reminded of his warm hands or even warmer smile, every time you visit. Deceiving yourself that it meant much less to you than it did, that if he returned now after so much time with no word or warning, you would not jump into his open arms without a second thought.
Your heartache is apparent to your friends and kin, who assume you're suffering the grief they all feel, having lost so many of their kind to Morgoth's rampage in the north. How little they knew; how little you knew.
It is only when one good friend mentions the siege at Angband, that you are struck with the terrible notion that the man you cursed for abandoning you, might not have done it willingly after all. That perhaps, Valar forbid, he had perished in the siege. He had mentioned fighting in the war after all, but you had not connected that with his absence. After all, he had promised to return to you, on the morning after you had met, having shared a blissful slumber in each other's arms. He held your hands to his lips and swore he would see you again, and now it makes sense. Now you have a real reason to grieve, you realise, and the anger roiling within you turns cold, an icy pit in your stomach as tears fall freely and your heart wrenches and cracks. You were to only have one night with him, and you might never even discover his true fate.
You reason with yourself that surely you would feel if the other half of you had flown this mortal plain. But the alternative was much crueler, and to believe him dead was somehow a less hopeless fate.
Centuries later when you look back, you curse yourself for not seeing who he was, and what he'd done, but how could you? He'd taken you as his own and that was such a strong spell to break, Eru himself would have had to step in.
-
To see your city fall at the hands of your husband’s master, you had no words, only wet hot tears as you watch your people die.
"Love, we have to go, come now," he holds you firmly by the arms, shaking you a little to clear your mind of the dust and debris and blood on the streets of Gondolin.
"I can't, I can't leave them, I have to find-"
"No, we're evacuating, you're not staying a minute longer. I should not have let you linger here when He appeared on the horizon, we should have-"
You tug your arm from his vice-like grip. "Should have what? Should have left my people to wrack and ruin? We have to..." Your mind is so murky, filled with thoughts of leaving, running as far as you can with him, despite your overwhelming urge to stay and help where you can.
"We have to leave. You know there is nothing we can do for them, He will leave none alive, and I won't have you-" he can't say it, he can't even entertain the notion of you coming to harm; his fingers tighten their grip, almost painful in their desperation.
He should have foreseen this, he should have gotten you to safety when he first had an inkling that his master finally knew where the Hidden City was.
"We have to go back, I need to go back, I can't leave-"
After a thousand years, his magic had kept your tiny wedding band of iris in full bloom, untouched by the passage of time, kept safe in an ornate gilded chest, made by his own fair hands. And it was sitting in your apartments on the other side of the city, where your kin doubtless waited for you to leave with them. The sentiment in your heart held you steadfast against his shaking and pleading.
"Love, we can't stay here-" he is interrupted by explosions overhead, as the enemy host draw closer.
"You don't understand-"
"Whatever it is, it doesn't matter, you're the only thing that matters. We have to go!" He never raises his voice to you, so you're a little dumbstruck when he growls at you.
"But we have to save them!" You stop in your tracks, feet rooted to the ground, indignant at the idea of abandoning your friends and neighbours to their doom.
"Amarië," his voice is suddenly so soft, it disquiets you, brings you back to the present. "Love, they're gone. There is no saving to be done."
Sauron is a stranger to remorse, to sorrow, but at the effect of his words, a pang of guilt sweeps through him when he tells you that in all the world, he is all you have now. He tries to ignore the warm thrill he feels in the pit of his stomach, that this great cataclysm has brought about the fate he always wanted for the two of you: just you and he, no one else to rob him of your attention.
You wanted to feel deeply all the grief and pain that one would expect at being told their life was over.
Instead you just felt numb, haunted by the consequences of his actions.
-
"I curse him." Your husband's eyes grow wide at your words, grasping your hands as if to quiet you, but you press on.
"I curse Melkor, Morgoth Bauglir, to roam this earth alone. To never know peace, to never know that which he so jealously craves."
You feel you're taking Morgoth's curse rather well, all things considered. Sauron had to beg you not to storm Angband yourself after he had told you of his master's new name for you, cursing you to a forsaken existence, sundering you from your husband in all but spirit.
You had fought your way back to him countless times, and he to you; you had both vowed to continue to do so, but the rage and grief had not lessened with time, stoked to a towering inferno of wrath that threatened to break you any time you were reminded of it.
And after the fall of Gondolin, your rage at the Enemy was insatiable.
So you had your revenge.
"Enemy. Tyrant. Now I name you again."
In the dead of night, flickering candlelight casting ominous shadows over your face, Sauron cannot help but admire you, crave you, as you corrupt his master's fate.
You slice open your hand, squeezing your palm over the parchment before you, watching as crimson splashes through the stark black lettering.
Amartherui.
"Help me." You look him in the eye, your simple plea making his chest ache; he has never said no to you, his sweet wife, but this is the first time he has been tempted.
"Amarië..." his soft sigh almost convinces you to abandon your plan, but the fury bubbling in your veins is too great.
"Beloved, will you help me or not? Your power would bring this curse to fruition, but if you will have no part in it, you should leave." You stand taller, drawing yourself up to match his gaze, impossible as that may seem.
"I have never asked you for anything. Please do this for me."
The crushing weight of the love in his hole of a heart moves his hand before he can stop himself. With gnawing doubt in his stomach, he wordlessly takes the knife from you, mixing his pitch black blood with your own on the page.
You smile, a weight lifting from your shoulders instantly, and you pull him down to kiss him hard, leaving a red streak on his neck.
"I name you, Morgoth, as my people have long titled you, Amartherui." His new name falls off your tongue like a dream, and you cannot help but smile, your wicked deed complete, as you set the parchment alight, the flames glowing a sickly grey-green as the candles flicker and the room darkens, long shadows growing where the light had tentatively reigned.
"Forever and a day, a lonely fate will be yours. You shall not know the word of a friend, the loyalty of a follower, or the touch of a lover. I curse you to wander the Seen and Unseen world alone, craving the connection you sought to sunder here."
In the back of your mind, there is some semblance of guilt. There is nothing good in the act you just performed, nothing virtuous or pure in your revenge; it's cold and calculated, vicious and spiteful.
Transcending the bounds of time and space, you can feel your curse has taken effect, something shifting in the air between you and your husband.
Sauron has never loved you more, and he shows you many times that night the depth of his feelings.
-
You watch as more refugees stagger into your haven with naught more than the clothes on their backs, waiting to help and heal and offer your comfort where you can. The war has left such a dreadful path of destruction in its wake; thousands of your kin are displaced as the host of the Valar battle their way to Angband, and your people had chosen where the river Sirion meets the sea as their secret haven.
It has been decades since the armies of Valinor first arrived on the shores of Middle Earth, and the end was drawing near, according to your husband, who was waiting with you in the safety of the havens and watching closely.
"I'll see you when I'm finished here," you whisper as you reach up to plant a kiss on your husband's lips. "It'll probably be late, don't wait up for me."
He gives you an affectionate smile; how could he not wait for you? Even if he did partake in sleep, he would not be able to rest without you at his side.
"I'll be up, return to me soon." He is reluctant to let you go, but your skills are in such dire need while the city is inundated with the sick and injured.
Before the War, it was uncommon for Elves to suffer such fates, being hardy in soul and body, but Morgoth's darkness had infiltrated much of the land and infected so many of your kin. Soldiers, innocent bystanders, there were hardly any who were unaffected, and fighting the darkness was a constant effort on your part, and the team of healers you had trained in the magics of your people.
"My lady, they are calling for you." The herald's voice shakes you from Sauron's gaze, and he huffs impatiently.
"I must go." You reluctantly begin to pull away, but he draws you back, pulling you close and wrapping you up in an embrace you could cling to for an age.
"I love you," he murmurs in your ear. "When this is all over, we shall establish the greatest kingdom this land has ever seen."
"If there is a land left." You try to remain hopeful but the news of the siege at Angband is never good, never hopeful, and you fear your home will never be free of Morgoth's influence.
"I am your home," your husband, your Mairon, reminds you, tracing your cheek softly, and you cannot help but return his radiant smile.
"I know, love, as I am yours." You press a soft kiss to his knuckles, taking the strength he offers, before departing to disperse your light where you can.
The darkness infects everything it touches, and it takes all of your energy and more to renew your broken and weary kin, who have travelled so far and fought so hard to reach the havens. Healing words and ancient spells woven into soft songs, settling over the city in a melodic shield, rejuvenating the minds and bodies of your people. You work late into the night, spreading the light where you can, easing the pitch black horror in the hearts of those who had seen the worst of Morgoth's endeavours.
The night is all-encompassing when you finally crawl into bed, nestling into Mairon's firm warmth, trying not to disturb him but feeling sweet relief when his hands trace your sides in greeting.
"I was going to come look for you," his deep voice rumbles in your chest as he presses himself against you.
"No need," you try to smile, but your voice cracks as his tenderness breaks your defences, and all the heartache of the day pours out of you like blood from a wound.
His heart wrenches. He has no business feeling such emotions as remorse, but once again you have him feeling in ways that he dislikes intensely.
"I'm sorry, my love." And he is. He is actually sorry for causing you pain, the rest of Middle Earth be damned.
You sigh and take his hand, holding it over your heart.
"I know, love." You ponder your next question, whether it is a good idea to ask, but you ask anyway.
"You cannot assist in the efforts against Him? I'm sure the Valar would be grateful for your help, might even look favourably upon you-"
He interrupts you with a sigh and a kiss to your neck.
"The Valar will never look upon me favourably, beloved. I could present them Melkor in chains and they would only bind me to him."
Of course, he has thought about begging clemency, thought about fleeing with you to the edges of the world, even thought of taking you back to his master. But in the end, it was more prudent to keep you safe, and to watch and wait for the triumphant side to reveal themselves. Better to beg forgiveness from the victor than choose the wrong side.
-
"Tell me I'm wrong." You dare him to speak against you, your voice shaking in anger as your fists clench.
"My love, I-"
"No, I don't want falsehoods, I don't want games or lies or deceit, just tell me. Did you go to Eönwë as you promised?"
"I did. And I found their response wanting." In truth he had tried to make amends, tried to do penance for the ages he'd spent in Morgoth's service, but when it came to approaching Manwë for his pardon, his fear overtook him and he fled back to Angband, but he couldn't tell you that, couldn't tell you he'd been weak, pitiful, his courage failing him at the final steps to absolution.
And he definitely couldn't tell you that in order for his pardon to be granted, he would have to give you up, to avoid blackening your soul any further.
He'd rather suffer your eternal wrath than be sundered from you for even a moment.
"So you traded forgiveness for more lies." You clench your jaw, your head beginning to pound, the subtle throb becoming a stabbing pain in your temple.
"I did it for you."
"How? How is this for me?" You mock him, incensed now that he would deflect his deceit onto you.
He stands to comfort you but you rip your hands from his grasp before he can claim you.
"I do not know what to say. I thought I knew you, I thought you would do the right thing." You shake your head and laugh, your scorn stinging him as if it were a poisoned blade.
"Love, please-"
"No! No more lies. I've had it with trickery and deception, I want out." You whirl around to face him. "Shadow of Morgoth, they call you. You gather his armies to you once more, you refired his crown! So is that what you want? Do you want to be his second coming?"
In all honesty, no. His master's plans were beneath him; Morgoth wanted to break the world, Sauron wanted to reshape it, to balance and perfect it, by any means necessary.
"Please, listen to me, I need you by my side, now more than ever." He clutches your hands, heart pounding, looking deeply into your eyes, willing you to fall for his pretty words once more.
"You didn't answer me." Tears begin to prick your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall in front of him, stepping back to take a deep breath, to steady your nerves to face the man you thought you loved.
"I don't need to. Love, you will join me." His desperation becomes honeyed, dripping with the devotion you so crave from him.
"Don't. Don't do that." You whisper, as he stalks toward you slowly, his deception burning a hole in your heart that you're sure will never be filled.
"Don't you want to be with me? For all eternity, that is what we always said." He circles you, hands on your shoulders, in your hair, overwhelming you with his lover's touch, just a mite too rough.
"Not if this is your plan. I didn't marry Morgoth, I married Mairon." Sauron, your mind reminds you, and for a second you feel a wave of nausea overwhelm you.
His face twists and he pulls away.
"That is not my name." He growls, an ugly grimace taking over his lovely features.
"I've told you before, don't look inside my head!" You retort, his presence in your mind suddenly overwhelmingly obvious.
You throw him out of your mind, slamming the door shut, refusing him access to that which would be so freely given if he deserved it.
The tic in his jaw is back with a vengeance and his eyes are ablaze with a fury the like of which you have never seen.
"Who do you think you are?" He hisses, venom in every word; you don't recognise him, cold terror in your heart at the sudden switch, as if someone had doused the candle burning for you in his heart with oil, engulfing him with wildfire.
"I chose you, of all your people, as my wife; I could have had anyone, but I chose you. Aulë’s greatest smith, Melkor's most trusted lieutenant, lord of all the dark things that creep and crawl in this world. And who are you? My beloved wife." His tone is like poison in your veins, burning and spitting fire in your heart.
Who are you? He's right; who the hell do you think you are?
"I know exactly who I am. I'm the woman who leaves you."
You shall not be forsaken this time, not that doing the forsaking feels any sweeter. It wrenches every fibre of your being, your heart pounding in your chest, but you make it to the door of his chambers, hand on the doorknob, before he breaks from his stunned daze, crosses the room and clasps his hand over yours on the cool metal.
"And where will you go? Your people are scattered and displaced, and who would take you in if they knew?" His sweetly honeyed words still bite at your heart, settling in the pit of your stomach.
"I cannot stay here, not now that I know exactly what you are." You look up at him, holding his gaze, somehow fighting the urge to scratch and claw and bite your way free like a feral animal, suddenly overwhelmed with the sense that you should run as hard and fast as you can.
His eyes betray nothing, his lips curving into a condescending smirk, as he runs a finger down your cheek, gathering the tears you'd fought not to shed. He examines them as if he'd never seen their like, as if they were precious stones from the depths of the earth, mined just for him; he licks his fingers clean, turning his attention back to you, trembling under him as he cages you against the door.
"Please... please let me go." The look in his eye says begging will be useless, but you try anyway.
"You are my Queen. You're free to do as you please." He replies, voice smooth, with a pretty smirk and that predatory glint in his eye that would usually thrill you so, that still sends hot arousal pooling between your thighs, mixed with icy cold terror.
"It would please me to leave," you try to appeal to him, softening your voice, lowering your gaze.
"I'm sure it would..." he utters breathlessly as he takes you in, leaning over you, watching the artery in your throat jump in time to his own racing heartbeat.
"Mairon... please..." His lips are on yours before you can finish your plea, his hands tangled in your hair.
He pushes his thigh between your legs, letting you grind yourself against him instinctively, and he groans, deep and low in his chest.
"Even now, your body betrays you, my love."
You sigh against him, fingers raking his hair roughly, letting him caress your neck, your waist, pulling you impossibly closer as he tries to expose you to his gaze. His clever fingers usually make light work of the laces of your corset, but his impatience defeats him, and he pulls a dagger from the lining of his robes, slicing cleanly through the fabric.
"That was my favourite," you admonish him, still angry with him; even as he takes you apart with his fingers and his tongue, you can't forget his plans, and you certainly can't ignore his gift to you, sitting by the window in all their glory.
Twin crowns, wrought in black iron, twisted and wicked, emanating a dark power that made you nauseous; ready for the heads of Middle Earth's new King and Queen. When you'd seen them, your blood ran cold, as you realised that once again, you'd been victim to Sauron’s deception.
"You will have a thousand more, dearest wife, whatever your heart desires," he promises breathlessly as he shucks off your dress, sliding it down your body, worshipping you with the lightest touch, soft kisses peppering your skin as he disrobes you. He falls to his knees, his head in line with your mound. He looks up at you, locking his gaze with yours, and delves into your folds with his tongue, seeking your pleasure.
You gasp, throwing your head back, as he spreads your legs to access your entrance, splitting you open with two fingers, still drawing every moan and whimper from your throat as he circles your clit, licking long strokes, tiny laps at your skin, letting you ride his face in your lustful haze. You grip his hair more roughly than you normally would, your wrath seeping into your lust, until you can't detect the distinction between the two.
He takes one of your legs and places it on his shoulder, letting you rest against him, both of you totally at the other's mercy. Such trust, such devotion, would you throw that away? Would you truly abandon him?
He worships at your altar, an acolyte to your pleasure, drawing unearthly sounds from deep within you, willing you to just stay and be his.
Your mind is racing as tendrils of his power cling to your lips, fighting for entrance to quiet your thoughts, and replace them with his sweet music. Wouldn't it just be easier? To let the darkness in?
You might as well, you muse in the back of your head, thoughts displaced by pleasure as the darkness feasts upon you.
He's solely focused on you; there is nowhere he would rather be in all of Arda. The unblemished shores of Valinor, the white trees that used to light the world, he can finally understand why his master was so hellbent on their destruction. For there is no beauty that should merit a comparison to you, and he would raze these lands to the ground to prove it.
You're drawing close, he realises, and briefly wonders whether to allow you your release on his lips.
You feel him pull away and moan, a tiny pitiful sound that makes him chuckle; of course you need him, of course you can't be without him, even in anger. Victory is nigh, and he pulls himself out of his robes to claim you once again.
He pushes you back, your name on the tip of his tongue, as he takes you in, breathes your air.
"You're mine," he growls, nuzzling your neck to better scent you. "Say it, say you'll always be mine."
"I will," you murmur softly, tears pricking your eyes as you hold him close.
"If you were to leave me," he moans against your heated skin, stroking his cock against your thigh, "there would be no rest for any bird, beast, or being in this land, no sleep, no sustenance, these lands would burn until you were returned to me."
He claims you in one thrust, filling you so completely, so sweetly, that you see stars, your breath stolen from your lungs as if it were the first time you'd ever laid eyes on him.
Your heart wrenches, pulling towards his, despite your entire being screaming at you.
You kiss him harder, your mind quietened as he bites your lip, droplets of blood wetting his tongue, quickening his insatiable need to be inside you in every way that is possible; mind, body, soul, all inextricably entwined.
The tears in your eyes threaten to fall, but you blink them back as he rocks into you, the chorus of your lovemaking drowning out all other notions. He plays you so well, a master in the art of drawing sweet melody from your lips; the harmony you both create together is unmatched to his ears, a Maia who helped sing the world into being.
A chorus of "mine" and "please" fill the air, and you're unsure whose voice is the louder, who is more desperate in their claiming of the other.
You feel him stiffen against you, his melody reaching a crescendo before yours, as he fills you with his pleasure, low groans in your ear bringing you to your peak as well. He wrings every last moan out of you, drawing out the coda of your song until there are no more notes to be played, no more pleasure to be taken.
Sweat-slicked and exhausted, you hold each other close, entwined so perfectly. You let him carry you to his bed, laying you down reverently, climbing in beside you and nestling you close, arms wrapping you tightly, refusing to let you move from his grasp.
You'd usually find such comfort in his embrace, but tonight there is an itch under your skin that his touch only amplifies, making you fight not to squirm beside him.
You cannot sleep for fear of letting him inside your head again, so when a knock at the door comes, you welcome it.
He sighs, long and loud in your ear, as evidence of his displeasure.
"I'll be back, love, there are matters I must attend to."
"Of course," you smile, fighting to make it meet your eyes.
He regards you carefully, brow furrowed.
"Do not fear, my love," he says softly as he leans down to kiss you once more. "I won't be long."
As he departs, he gives you one final look of longing, which you hasten to return with all the eagerness you can muster.
The door clicks shut, your expression falls, and you immediately disentangle yourself from the sheets,
Finding obscene amounts of your clothing and jewellery, and books beyond measure in his room was no surprise. He must have been preparing for this for years, if not longer.
Now that Morgoth was gone, the next phase of his plan could move forward, and that involved you, his Queen, taking up her rightful residence.
You dress as quickly as you're able, taking only what you can carry, and go to leave. But you notice a small ornate chest you thought you'd lost when Gondolin fell, sitting on the dresser by his bed as if it had always belonged there.
You feel as if you've been stabbed, a gut-wrenching heartache overwhelming you as you can do nothing but stand and stare.
He went back for it. He kept it all this time.
Your feet move of their own accord, and before you can blink, you've opened the chest, staring at the impossible artefact of your love for each other.
Unfurled purple petals, revealing a stark white centre, the woven band appearing as fresh as it did on the day he married you.
You hold it up, comparing it to the ring you currently wear. He really had somehow captured its likeness in a jewel, deep purple revealing a bright light in its centre, framed by ornate silver details.
You cannot bring yourself to slip it on, after all that has happened, his lies and broken promises, but you are loath to leave it.
Movement outside his chambers sends a shiver of panic through you, and you quickly move to hide behind the door. The subsequent banging has you quaking but you stand your ground, waiting for whomever it is to leave.
The door abruptly swings open, and you hear two gravelly voices discussing... you?
"Mistress?" The first call is softer, but their annoyance quickly becomes apparent as the other chimes in.
"Where is she then? They said to fetch her, but I'm not traipsing all over to find some she-Elf-"
"He won't even notice, Adar says he's too caught up in all his planning and his speeches, who cares about one missing Elf?"
"He wants them at least, over there. He'll have your head if we forget-"
"Why my head? You're the one he told-"
"Shut it and take 'em, careful now, there's magic in it still..."
Their voices fade as they shuffle back the way they came. As the door slams shut again, you realise that your husband already has an army of orcs at his disposal, and you reconsider what you're about to do, but only briefly.
Escaping the fortress is more of a task than you thought, requiring all the skills of subterfuge and swordplay that your husband has ever taught you; which is no small feat, considering the centuries you've had to learn.
Quietly slipping through the fortress mostly unnoticed, leaving the odd corpse in your wake as your husband's servants cross your path, unfortunately for them.
Thankfully the halls are mostly deserted, and you hear a clamour coming from deeper within, but you try to pay it no mind, focusing on your exit and nothing more.
It is only when you finally see daylight, pushing open the great black doors to the fortress, that you can breathe a sigh of relief. If you can just get a headstart, perhaps you'll be able to outrun him.
-
It is in the middle of his speech, appealing to his army for their continued support, that Sauron notices you are absent.
He'd sent for you when his moment of victory seemed nigh at hand, and had assumed you were readying yourself for your ascent, but now that he had persuaded Adar and his children to his cause, the sight of your face was all he wanted to see.
As he knelt before Adar, awaiting his rightful crown, he searched for you in his mind's eye. He did not expect to find you outside the black gates, breathing a sigh of relief in the watery sunlight.
A surge of rage overtook him as he clenched his jaw, settling on his knees. The mere thought of your abandonment had always made his heart twist and shatter, and at that moment, he had no heart. Just a void where it used to be.
Distracted by your torment, he barely noticed the first blow, as Adar struck him again and again with the crown that was meant to define your future together.
As he lay in a pool of thick black blood, his last thought was of you; how could you betray him? And thank the Valar you did.
-
A great blast of freezing cold air knocks you off your feet, and for a second you thought you heard his voice on the wind. It's all you can do to just lie there, covered in frost and shaking, trying to assess if you're at least physically intact, your emotional state another matter entirely.
Clutching your head as blood trickles down your face, you shakily get to your feet. It is as if someone has emptied the heavens of all its snow where before there was nothing but arid plains. The air is suddenly glacial, the ground frozen and cracking underfoot.
It is as you contemplate your frozen breath in the air, that you realise you can't feel him. A vacuum in your mind, a void in your heart that you haven't experienced in more than a thousand years, and you can barely recognise that it is his absence that has left such a hole.
You thought you might feel free when you were rid of him, but all you feel is empty, yearning for a presence that has haunted you for millennia.
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fantasiac · 19 hours ago
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Sonic X Silver Unleashed would be really cool
especially for 2026, which seems like it might be year of Silver, as Sonic 4 has rumored to have Silver in it, sega would probably want to do the Sonic X Shadow generations success again, as well as finally establishing Silvers origin and finally Sonic Unleashed for modern consoles, and a pc port that people have been BEGGING for
Giving silver the chance to fix his origin would be a great chance to take if they decide that his Rivals story isn't canon (because of the way it breaks Eggman Nega), or just isn't well known enough by fans, finally setting why everyone knows him would be cool
although, he wouldnt actually meet sonic in this game, but maybe he could interact with characters that aren't in the original story, adding more to it, and maybe could have sonic and silver meet in an epilogue short like Dark beginnings
it would also probably just fit really well, with silver coming back in time to fix the ruined planet, not that I want another "silver comes back to the past to fix the future" plot, but it could work, especially if they decide to rewrite him, and because it would take place during unleashed, it could definitely work as a good introduction for his character to the world, as it's the next main game after 06 (besides secret rings) so it could probably be much more of a "this is what happened instead of 06 because the timeline reset", if they decide to lean into that (it would live up to the stuff 06 was claiming to be, a cool new direction/reboot to the Sonic world, setting Unleashed as what happened instead of 06 would not only make that statement correct, but also reintroduce silver around that time period in the series)
they could also put shadow in it, because all the fans new and old would want more of him in games, especially in "the best game in the franchise", also seeing shadow post shadow 05 would be cool, Ian Flynn could work in the Super Hard Mode being canon, where he joins GUN at the end, bringing "Shadow's best characterisation" not only into main canon finally, but also into the best game in the franchise
it would print millions for sega
and Silver's powers could get reworked for the boost engine, which would be interesting, and his powers could react with the dark Gaia energy somehow, changing the playstyle to match up with base unleashed
and I somehow didn't mention that I DESPERATELY want more of that peak unleashed world building, with the distinct cultures in the world, it would blend into silvers story really well, as he's not used to all the people and life, finally capturing that "woah, this time period is beautiful" element that wasn't there very much in 06, despite it helping his motivation to save his world so much
and because unleashed is already one of everyone's favorites, bringing it to the forefront of the Sonic franchise for new players to enjoy would probably put sonic back on top as a gaming icon
also a mixing up more of the anthros from Forces into the humans of unleashed, would not only be cohesive, but add to sonics world, Sonic, Tails, and Amy wouldn't be the only animal characters seen in the game where you see the entire planet, making sonic seem special among them and explaining why nobody really questions sonic's existence
unleashed is one of the only games that really builds up a full world for sonic, and all the other games subsequently forgot about it all instantly, I desperately want to know where Station square is on the map, or White Acropolis, or Westopolis, or Seaside Hill, or Sunset Heights, I want all the stages from the games on one big map.
Frontiers also confirms that unleashed is part of the canon, so it would set standards for the next games to add on to it, because the stages in unleashed are considered the best In the whole franchise, in music, stage design AND worldbuilding. we need it to be a base for the rest of the franchise to follow at least a little bit when making new stages, a remake would not only fix that, but also give the silver game that people have been begging for for 18 years, and finally give him a base intro to the story for the wide audience to fall in love with, because silver is rad as hell
also a game that takes place before whatever forces does would be cool, because after unleashed, the games barely even touch on the world of Sonic anymore, Colors? in space, Generations? timeless void, Lost World? Lost Hex, only really touching on it in Forces, where Eggman completely shapes the globe in his image, but they don't even really show what he changed besides "sand hill", and then Frontiers is on a separated island that we don't know where it is on the planet, if unleashed was remade, it would bring back the worldbuiilfing it had, and open up the doors to have games that add on to the main timeline come out while sticking to that worldbuilding without it seeming off because unleashed is a recent and well talked about game by this point
it could work so well sega, pleeeaasse
I just love unleashed so much, and I'm not the only one
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yatagarasuhonyaku · 1 day ago
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The Raven of the Empty Coffin: Chapter 1 "Shigemaru" Part 3
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Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. The events of this novel follow after what's already covered by the anime. For an easier understanding, I recommend first reading the few scenes of previous books I've already translated.
Blog version
For the Index, you can find it HERE
Previously: Shigemaru (Part 2)
⊛     ⊛      ⊛
Chapter 1: Shigemaru (Part 3)
As they advanced through the practical courses, the instructors relentlessly rejected the skills Shigemaru and his fellow commoners had. In Archery, they asked them to fix their stance, denying them the chance to even nock an arrow, and this was hardly the only subject where their basics—or lack thereof—got them scolded: they were stuck practicing blocking in Martial Arts, and in Swordsmanship all they did was relearning how to stand and hold their sword from zero.
Day after day, all they got were corrections. It was all how to hold their bows, the proper methods to block, and sword practice swings. Understandably enough, it had taken a toll on everyone’s motivation.
“...... You know, I’m really starting to suspect they're discriminating against us.”
The moment was after having gone through all practical courses at least once. By that point, their group study sessions had become a nightly event. To call it that was, however, a bit of an overstatement—in practice, they just came together to copy Yukiya's homework. They had gathered in Shigemaru and Yukiya’s dormitory room at first, but the number of petitioners had just kept on growing. Once the new additions to their group became more than three, they had no option but to change locations to an empty room instead.
Their little gathering was strictly composed of commoners from all kinds of places. There, facing his blank homework with a sullen look, was Kitsupei, a boy from the Eastern Region and the one who had just voiced his suspicions about discrimination. He had been the target of more corrections than anyone else during Swordsmanship that very day.
“What's up, all of a sudden?” Shigemaru looked up from his own homework, dropping his brush on the inkstone.
“There's nothing sudden about it!” Kitsupei complained. He seemed incapable of holding it in any longer. “I've thought about it from the start. Theory? I can still accept it, you know. After being in the same class, I can tell how smart Akeru and the others are.”
The problem lied in the practical courses. Commoners like them came to the Monastery because someone had recognized their sword skills or their physical prowess. Yet, in truth, they hadn’t even been given a chance to shine and just got reprimanded nonstop. It made him suspect—what if this was just silent harassment? What if they were trying to make them quit?
“But the instructors aren’t saying anything to Akeru and his followers. This is just unfair!”
Immediately, the other trainees jumped at the chance to air out their grievances, all in unanimous agreement.
“I’ve been thinking that as well.”
“Me too!”
“I was the best with a sword back home, and here I am! Stuck on simple practice swings!” Hisaya, quite prone to outbursts himself, pouted.
“If only they let us join free training, we could show them all we are capable of,” even Tatsuto, who wasn’t usually the kind to complain, joined in on the conversation.
“I bet Kashin is actually ridiculing us behind our backs!” a furious Kitsupei interjected again.
If they kept going like that, things would surely end badly. Struck by such a premonition and concerned about the consequences this little venting session would have if left unchecked, Shigemaru clapped his hands in an attempt to clear the room’s heavy atmosphere.
“Come on, come on! If you have the energy to complain, start moving those hands instead. As long as you have the skill, it’s just a matter of waiting to show it to them once we start with matches.”
“But Shige! We don't even know if they'll let us participate in the first place.”
“Does it really not bother you too, Shige?”
The entire group turned to stare at him all gloomily, and Shigemaru was at a loss on what to do next. He hadn’t ever intended it to work this way, but ever since everyone started to imitate Yukiya’s nickname for him, he had, in practice, become the group’s unofficial leader and mediator. While with power came responsibility and the last thing he wanted was to provoke a fight with the Court Ravens, he was the first one to have concerns on the matter.
At the same time as Shigemaru’s group struggled with their assignments, those from noble families were apparently handling both theory and practice with marked ease, and of them all, Akeru, who acted as the year’s Court Ravens representative, stood out as particularly talented. Horsemanship aside, Shigemaru still had yet to ever see him get reprimanded even once, so the boy had started to become a target of resentment and jealousy among the suffering commoners.
Meanwhile, Shigemaru and the other commoners were being constantly put on blast by the instructors. Even if he didn’t believe it to be out of prejudice, there had to be some reason for it. One they just weren’t seeing.
Shigemaru was thinking, trying to somehow find a good answer to the situation, when someone’s oblivious, carefree voice interrupted the scene. 
“Good job, everyone!” Yukiya, who had been absent until a moment ago, had just returned. “I just went to the kitchen to get some tea leaves. I even ended up picking up some dried sweet potato to go with it, so how about taking a short break?”
Yukiya greeted them with a bright smile on his lips. Up until a moment ago, the rest of the group had all been bad-mouthing Court Ravens, yet now they found themselves looking away out of sheer embarrassment. Yukiya had been helping them so much that nobody in the room was about to say anything against him, not willingly at least.
“...... Is something wrong?” Yukiya soon asked them. It seemed he hadn’t missed the room’s odd atmosphere.
As a panicked Hisaya jumped to deny the notion, Shigemaru stopped him. Thinking about it, asking for Yukiya’s opinion was probably the best thing they could do given the circumstances. Indeed, once Shigemaru told him the truth of what had happened, Yukiya didn’t even seem bothered by the group’s criticism of Court Ravens.
“Oh, I see. But I think you’re misunderstanding something,” he calmly denied their suspicions. “Right now, what they’re teaching us are all techniques geared towards official tournaments.”
“Official tournaments? Why would they do that?”
“This is the Unbending Reed Monastery, remember? You can’t have the Imperial Family’s private guard acting like hooligans, can you? That’s why they’re teaching us how to battle in a respectable manner, not fight like thugs. Your average Yatagarasu, who’s had no formal training, is not going to know how to do that. Corrections are bound to happen. I really get why you’re so angry,” Yukiya answered as if to mediate. “But, over anything else, bad habits could ultimately lead to injury, so to obey now is for your own future’s sake as well. Sure, Instructor Kashin may be bad-mouthed, but there hasn’t been anything wrong with his corrections.”
“...... Really?”
Recognizing if there was anything off with the corrections they got was beyond the capabilities of Shigemaru and the others—their shared confusion must have been obvious, because Yukiya turned to them once more.
“There’s no need to worry,” he added in a bright tone. “Akeru wasn’t scolded at all, that’s true, but it has nothing to do with his status as a scion of the Western House. I would bet he had a very good master who trained him even before coming here.”
Which meant that Akeru didn’t get any corrections simply because there wasn’t any need for them in the first place. While it was a relief to know the instructors weren’t playing favorites, the group couldn’t help but to panic as well at the therefore unknown skill gap.
They all had difficult expressions on their faces, yet Yukiya didn’t seem particularly concerned about it. “I take it you're worried about the existing gap with the nobles, aren’t you? But, you know, your ability to perform some exercises in a dojo doesn’t determine your strength in actual combat. I’m sure that if you went against them in a match right now, you would be the clear winners.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I mean, they clearly aren’t used to fighting. You can tell just by looking at them,” Yukiya’s eyes partially closed and the corners of his mouth moved upwards, yet one couldn’t in good faith call that expression a ‘smile’. “I’ve been watching everyone long enough to tell how much potential everyone actually has. It shows, you know? That all of you were selected for your skills in arms. Few could surpass you as far as sheer physical capability goes.”
“Wait—you’ve spent all this time watching others during lessons!? And here I am completely overwhelmed just dealing with my own stuff!” Kitsupei exclaimed, equally amazed and exasperated. 
“Anyway, let’s put aside those who, like me, come from warrior families and are Court Ravens in name only. I have a strong suspicion that Akeru and his followers will show their true colors very soon,” Yukiya confidently affirmed.
In answer, the entire group glanced at each other.
“Fine. Then, let’s just trust Yukiya and work hard for now. How about that?” Shigemaru asked.
“Let’s do that!”
“Sure, let’s.” Even those who had been strongly complaining just a moment ago nodded along. Leaving aside the matter of how trustworthy Yukiya was on the subject, Shigemaru just found himself tremendously relieved after seeing everyone agree and calm down for the time being.
But then, it only took a few days for the group to discover that Yukiya’s predictions had been mostly correct.
First of all, it became obvious that the instructors weren’t discriminating against anyone. As soon as they learned how to move as taught, the commoners started to join free training as well. The wooden swords they used to practice their swings were henceforth replaced by bamboo ones instead. It brought Shigemaru joy to see his friends holding them, looking entirely revitalized. However, this was also when reality came in to prove Yukiya's guesswork fallible.
While Akeru’s followers were losing against his friends one after another, the boy himself managed to protect his position at the top. Those who held animosity against him went to challenge him as soon as they were deemed worthy to join, yet none of them proved capable of winning against him with any form of consistency. 
“He may not be accustomed to fighting, but he seems quite used to dojo swordfighting,” Shigemaru commented to Yukiya during one of their breaks while he wiped away his sweat.
Yukiya forced a smile. “It seems like it. At the very least, it’s clear he trained quite a lot before coming here.”
At the moment, their topic of conversation himself looked to be extremely angry. Shigemaru couldn’t quite tell why, maybe because of his followers’ terribly poor showing?
“I may have underestimated him.” 
There was an air of superiority to Yukiya as he said that, one which gave Shigemaru quite the urge to point out something. “You sure act like you’re above him, but you didn’t even make a good showing in your own matches.”
“Ah, were you watching me?”
“When waiting in between turns, yes. Won’t it be a problem for you if things keep going like that?” 
Even though Yukiya had been talking big behind others’ backs, his skills with a sword weren’t anything to write home about. His basics were just fine and he moved well and fast, so Shigemaru hadn’t had any cause for concern before they started free training instead. Then, when it came to the moment of truth, Yukiya didn’t try to attack even once. Even when instructors loudly scolded him for going on the defensive like that, Yukiya would only laugh and make no noticeable attempt to fix his ways whatsoever.
——Maybe, in reality, it was Yukiya who wasn’t used to fighting.
Most importantly, practical courses mattered a lot more than theory in the Monastery Trials. Shigemaru had been too worried about himself to pay any mind to others up until then, but, when he realized that Yukiya may be the one in danger of dropping out, it became his main concern instead.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I’ll figure it out by the Trial of Gale.” And yet the boy himself couldn’t be more happy-go-lucky.
With their break over, they went back to the dojo as they chatted. No matter how much they tried to ventilate it, the place still reeked of sweat but, fortunately, they had all gotten used to it by that point. Once inside, they put on protective equipment for their knees and elbows and covered their heads with newly woven feather robes, all before they were even told to do so.
What awaited them, despite Shigemaru’s expectations on the contrary, wasn't free training as before. Instead, the instructors announced that they would be moving on to proper, formal matches instead. In such a format, the victor was usually determined on a best of three basis but, to build up the trainees’ endurance and to get them used to it, they had decided to have three rounds no matter who took the points this time around.
The assistants moved to stand in the middle of the dojo, forming a square with their bodies to mark the limits of the venue. Meanwhile, Shigemaru and Yukiya sat together in the front row as spectators, just slightly behind the line formed by the instructors. 
Kashin took on the role of referee and stood right in the center as he started to call for different trainees.
“Red, 3-2’s Akeru. Come forward.”
Akeru immediately stepped forwards, taking the red strap, with an overflowing air of superiority. He must have been expecting Kashin’s call.
“White, 1-1’s Chihaya. Come forward.”
Shigemaru wasn’t particularly familiar with Akeru’s opponent. He could remember crossing paths with him during classes, but they had never actually talked and he had no memory of the boy saying anything during any of the many different self-introductions either. Chihaya hadn’t left much of an impression on him, that was for sure.
As Shigemaru reflected on that, he gave Chihaya a look. One could tell just from appearance alone that he was a man of few words. His mouth was sealed in one thin, straight line, so tightly attached together that one couldn’t be blamed for thinking he may have never opened it even once ever since he was born.
He was tall and had a good, firm build, yet, perhaps because of his long face and sharp cheekbones, he instead gave off the impression of being overly thin and sickly. He had long bangs covering his face, and sharp eyes with characteristic small irises(1) peeked through from under them.
The two of them being chosen for the first formal match most likely meant that they were the most skilled trainees at present, at least according to the instructors. Chihaya tied the white strap on his hips and went to stand in front of Akeru, who was already waiting for him at the starting line. Once both trainees were ready to proceed, Kashin exchanged looks with his assistants. They all nodded.
“Start!”
The moment the match began, Akeru raised his voice as he prepared to attack. On the other hand, Chihaya stood there motionless and silent, watching him. Akeru seemed to hesitate for a second, unnerved by something, only to ultimately still go on the offensive immediately after. For a trainee, Akeru was nimble. He moved remarkably fast as he closed in and slashed downwards with his bamboo sword.
And yet, the next second, that same sword was cutting air.
It all happened in a second. Chihaya had twisted his body ever so slightly to dodge the hit and, with his bamboo sword held only in his left hand, he struck Akeru’s torso. The blow was strong enough for the sound of it to fill the entire room. Two of the assistants raised their left arms simultaneously—white straps in their hands.
“White, one point!”
——It had been so fast, Shigemaru’s eyes were unable to keep up.
Finally, the main referee raised his left arm as well and, having confirmed his victory, Chihaya simply fixed the neck of his kimono. It wasn’t particularly out of place to begin with. Meanwhile, Akeru just stood there, in complete shock, for a while before he returned to the starting line. His expression was clearly strained.
“Start!”
This time around, Akeru didn’t raise his voice or rush to the offensive the moment the match started. He instead opted for slight movements, carefully swaying the tip of his sword as he watched for Chihaya to attack first.
After a while, Chihaya moved. He stepped forward with ease, so much so that it was hard to believe he could pull it off during an actual match. He had been initially holding his sword with both hands, but it was now only held in his right hand. Akeru tried to defend himself, but his sword was snapped away from him by an upwards swing.
The bamboo sword spun in midair as it flew in the direction of the spectating trainees. By the time it fell to the ground—the boys around it dodging it in a panic—Chihaya had taken another point with ease by hitting a weaponless Akeru’s head.
“What was that…?” Shigemaru heard someone murmur. Not like he had any idea either—the difference between the two was just too stark.
After losing two points in such rapid succession, Akeru was pale as a sheet and, while this would have been the end of it in a normal three-point match, he had no option but to go through another round due to the circumstances.
Once Akeru had taken back his sword, both opponents returned to their starting positions. At that point, their expressions couldn’t be more different from one another. While the determination in Akeru's face made it clear he wouldn't be satisfied unless he could get at least one hit in, Chihaya seemed to be completely indifferent towards his opponent either way.
“Start!” 
Akeru went for a stab with a loud yell the second the third duel commenced. Yet, Chihaya hadn’t even bothered to get into a proper stance anymore, and instead of making any big effort to dodge Akeru's sword, he opted for barely moving his neck to elude the attack. With his sword held only in his left hand, Chihaya immediately went for a slash and landed a hit on his opponent's temple.
It was enough to send Akeru flying, and he ended up falling harshly to the ground with no chance to do a proper landing. The exact kind of crash that tended to cause more worry for the spectator than the victim.
“White, one point! Hey, are you alright?”
As soon as he announced the initial verdict, a panicking Kashin rushed to Akeru's side. The boy soon sat up and, even though he seemed unharmed, the expression on his face made it obvious that he couldn't understand what had just happened to him. In the meantime, Chihaya merely returned to the starting line without even glancing in Akeru’s direction, as inexpressive as always. Afterwards, they both bowed to each other, marking the end of the match.
It was clear the instructors hadn't expected this kind of unilateral result. Although, after a short discussion between them, they finally started to call trainees again, and neither Chihaya nor Akeru took part in another match that day.
“You're amazing!”
“I had no idea you were that strong!”
“Who the hell taught you how to use a sword like that!?”
After the match, Chihaya became a bit of a celebrity.
A group of trainees had gathered around him, all trying to strike up a conversation at once. Although many of them seemed to be driven by their dislike of Akeru, as one could have guessed, plenty had simply been taken by his skill with a sword from the looks of it, and while Chihaya himself gave no sign whatsoever of answering any of their many rapid questions, the people surrounding him proved to be too excited to care about that.
The evening classes had reached their end, so the trainees were on their way back from the dojo. A good distance behind Chihaya and his group of admirers were the study group regulars, all walking together.
“Dammit. I wanted to be the first to crush Akeru.”
“Nonono. I could have won against him, I just had to land another hit on him.”
As Kitsupei and Hisaya said that, grinding their teeth, Tatsuto sighed. “So you two were also incapable of defeating him……”
“Shut up!”
“What the hell are you going on about? You didn’t get a proper win against him either, Tatsuto.”
Shigemaru, pointedly ignoring his friends’ argument, glanced in Akeru's direction instead. “That aside, is Akeru truly okay after that?”
Although Akeru himself was silent, simply holding a wet towel to his temple, Shigemaru could see his followers staring daggers towards Chihaya’s enthusiastic group of admirers. 
“Well, it may look otherwise, but Chihaya was almost certainly holding back. I doubt there's any real concern for injury. The actual problem is—” Yukiya started to explain something before stopping all of a sudden, noticeably blinking. 
“What's wrong?” Shigemaru followed Yukiya's gaze. Upon realizing, he let out an unconscious ‘yikes’.
“Chihaya! I've heard you got quite the achievement today.”
Silence fell upon the entire group of Seeds once they saw who was coming towards them. Nobody knew how he had learned about the recent events, but Kimichika of Minami-Tachibana was nevertheless approaching them from the direction of the dining hall. Even Chihaya’s admirers retreated one step, scared of the Sapling closing in. Kimichika, however, paid them no mind and amiably patted Chihaya's shoulder instead. 
“And on top of that, you thoroughly crushed that Western House brat! Is that true?” As Chihaya himself didn't say anything in answer, Kimichika instead looked up towards a certain group of trainees who, pointedly ignoring him, had tried to move along. “Hey, Akeru, is it true?”
At his call, Akeru stopped in his tracks. He turned around towards Kimichika with barely concealed rage. “......Yes, I lost. So what.”
“I see, I see. That's amazing. You seem to be unaware, my Lord, but Chihaya, the one to defeat you, is a Hill Raven working for my House.” Kimichika pointed at Chihaya with his chin, while Chihaya only stood there without uttering a single word. But then, if he served Kimichika's house, that only meant one thing—he was part of the Animiya faction. “For someone like you, who put on airs over being Wakamiya's faithful servant, that must be the last person you would want to lose against. Oh, what a shame for you, both as a Court Raven and a faction representative.”
Kimichika let out an unpleasant laugh. Meanwhile, Akeru remained expressionless, his lips trembling, before finally sighing quietly. All things considered, he had recovered his composure surprisingly fast.
“I'm sorry to say this when you're enjoying my loss so much, but this may be your last chance to do so.”
“Huh?”
“Well, His Majesty the Emperor is going to abdicate the throne in favor of His Highness. It has been decided already.”
“——What!?”
“There should be an official announcement very soon. Now I wonder—for how much longer will the South still be able to act like pretentious fools?” Akeru spoke decisively.
Clear shock replaced the boastful look on Kimichika's face. This must have been news to him. He wasn’t the only one—even the onlookers, incapable of containing themselves any longer, stopped holding their breaths and started a ruckus.
Seeing that from the corner of his eyes, Akeru smiled ever so slightly. “It’s just the truth of the matter. It’s why His Highness couldn't attend the entrance ceremony. The imperial council on the matter took longer than expected, it seems.”
Instead of targeting Kimichika, who was speechless and seemingly deep in thought, Akeru turned towards the so-far mute Chihaya immediately afterwards.
“Chihaya. What a shame. To get kicked out over politics with your master here despite your enormous talent. Luck sure doesn’t seem to favor you, tying you to someone like him. If only you were serving someone in the Wakamiya faction,” Akeru said sardonically.
Chihaya’s gaze was still downcast, fixed on the ground. Finally, he murmured something. “...... I don’t care about either faction.”
Although Akeru's eyes widened from surprise as well, it was Kimichika who seemed the most shocked by his words. “Hey! What the fuck are you saying? Come here, right now!”
Kimichika grabbed him and dragged Chihaya away from everyone without even giving him a chance to say his farewells. Having watched both of them disappear in the distance, a still dumbfounded Shigemaru let out a groan before speaking. “...... The situation is about to get real weird, ain't it?”
As a witness of those two’s relationship and their obvious lack of anything even resembling trust, Shigemaru was overcome by the most terrible feeling. And, just one hour(2) later, it too proved to be a reality at dinnertime.
“——You shit, would you stop with the damn attitude already!?”
The trainees were in the middle of cleanup when a furious scream resonated through the dining hall. Everyone immediately turned to the direction it came from.
“What's going on?”
“A fight?”
Usually, the instructors were the first ones to take care of their trays, followed by Evergreens and Saplings in that order, so by that point the only ones still present were Seeds. And yet, Shigemaru saw a familiar someone with a characteristic hooked nose striking a pose in the distance.
“Isn't that Chihaya and Kimichika?”
“Huh, where did Kimichika's followers go?”
“Useless when it truly matters.” As Shigemaru and Yukiya whispered among themselves, the conversation between Kimichika and Chihaya took yet another turn for the worse.
“I'll say it once more, Chihaya. Clean. My. Tray.” Kimichika’s voice was trembling, barely holding in the desire to scream at Chihaya.
Meanwhile, Chihaya remained seated, motionless and completely unfazed by Kimichika's overbearing attitude. “I refuse.”
“Why!?”
“No reason.” While Chihaya wasn't someone one would call talkative, that had been enough to grasp the situation. As Kimichika tried to drop his tray where Chihaya was, the other only refused stubbornly.
“I'm ordering you as your senior! You are supposed to listen to me, no matter what!” Kimichika yelled again.
Chihaya briefly looked up at him and snorted. Kimichika's face was twisted in pure rage—they must have repeated this particular exchange a bunch of times already. Shigemaru expected him to yell once more, yet Kimichika's expression suddenly changed into one of abnormal calm.
“You know what'll happen if you disobey me, right? You haven't forgotten, by any chance?”
Chihaya glanced back questioningly, and Kimichika’s lips curved. “It's not only a you problem, you know—or should I give you a reminder of that?” 
Kimichika’s words were dripping with confidence. That very second, the look in Chihaya’s eyes drastically changed. His until then characteristic indifference had been quickly replaced by unbridled anger. Even though Kimichika had been the one to provoke him first, he found himself balking at the abnormal atmosphere surrounding Chihaya.
“...... What. Do you plan to defy me?”
Chihaya stood up. He moved effortlessly and silently.
——Shit, things were about to get real bad.
At the realization, Shigemaru’s eyes darted around the hall and found everyone else standing frozen in place. Left with no alternative, Shigemaru finally steeled his resolve—just as someone else beside him moved first.
“Ooops, my bad, I slipped!”
A mix of grilled eggplant, chilled wheat noodles and miso soup splashed all over Kimichika's nape. As for who had screamed, it was none other than Yukiya, who had somehow managed to sneak behind him without making any noise. On top of that—and this couldn't just be Shigemaru's imagination—he had actually made a point to gather all of his leftovers before slipping unnoticed and throwing his entire bowl's contents on Kimichika.
Yukiya, you bastard, you did it! Shigemaru barely restrained himself from laughing out loud as he ran in their direction as well.
“Aah, I'm sorry! What a bad idea, though, to stand idly in the middle of the room. The other Saplings have already cleaned their trays and left, so what keeps you here?” Yukiya tried to apologize, but the delivery was the very picture of stiffness. He used his own sleeve to clean Kimichika’s face, or so he made it look. In practice, he was just smearing the mashed eggplant even further.
Incapable of comprehending the sudden development, Kimichika and Chihaya stood there as unmoving as statues for a while.
“You, fucking little runt!” As Kimichika finally came to his senses, he shook off Yukiya's hand and screamed in indignation. Truth be told, not even Shigemaru could blame him for that. This wasn’t the moment to laugh at Kimichika’s hysterics, however, so he instead rushed to the group and put himself in the middle.
“Now, now, please calm down. My friend here didn't mean to do anything bad! He's just tired from the practical courses, you see, so his footing wasn't that good. Right, Yukiya?”
“Yes, exactly! I didn't intend to do it,” Yukiya said as he meekly bowed in apology.
Understandably, Kimichika wasn't fooled by that. “Don't fuck with me! If you didn't intend to do it, then why were you here of all places!?”
The dining hall was huge. There was quite the distance from the spot of the incident to the place where everyone left their trays. Around nine meters(3), in fact.
Shigemaru and Yukiya exchanged glances. “Why were you here?”
“Taking a walk.”
“Taking a walk, he says.”
“Do you two fuckers want to die by my hand that badly?” Kimichika's tone was low, and one could see blue veins bulging in his forehead. Then, just as Shigemaru was wondering how to dodge the question, Kimichika took a better look at their faces out of the blue. “Ah, you two are from the North, right? Well, you Hill Ravens from the countryside may not know it, but the Minami-Tachibana are quite influential even in the Center.”
Stunned by the out of nowhere bragging, Shigemaru stared blankly at him.
“So?” It was just Shigemaru’s honest reaction, but the corners of Kimichika's lips twitched.
“...... You don’t even know that? Rokon, one of Lord Natsuka's first and most important retainers, was known by a different name before(4). None other than Michichika of Minami-Tachibana. He’s, in other words, my older brother. I wonder what kinds of inconveniences await you once he learns you made fun of his little brother?”
“Even if that may be the case, we won’t exactly come asking for your mercy. There’s no need for you to worry.” Before Shigemaru even got a chance to talk, Yukiya had already resolutely dismissed him. “Still, you sure are crude and boring, aren't you? Who brings up his brother's influence that easily? And just to bully a couple of juniors! Don't you have, I don't know, any better options?”
From Yukiya’s tone, he sounded as if he was about to sigh and, just like that, Kimichika's air of importance crumbled away.
“What’s a lowly servant like you doing talking back to me!? As if you know anything!” Kimichika grabbed him by the collar and raised his fist as if to hit him, yet Yukiya stared back at him as if the entire situation wasn't even his problem. Shigemaru could tell Yukiya was fully planning to take the incoming punch—but it never came.
The second before it came to happen, Shigemaru intercepted Kimichika's arm. “Could you wait a moment, please?”
With his arm seized, Kimichika stared at him in confusion. He wasn’t the only one—Yukiya, who had been quite accepting of his fate, did so as well.
“Why did you grab me!?”
“You see, had this been a senior fed up with his junior's attitude, I would get it. However, I can't just stand aside when you make it about status.” The Unbending Reed Monastery was a place where might makes right. Within its walls, one's family status had no bearing whatsoever. They had been told that much very recently. “What’s the point of coming here if we're going to be ridiculed for our birth!? And, of all people, you definitely have no right to do so!”
Shigemaru's shout resounded like thunder as it traveled through the entire hall. Kimichika gulped ever so slightly, but stubbornly stared back at him instead of balking. “Let me go.”
“First let Yukiya go.” Shigemaru was still a Seed, but he was larger than Kimichika. Admittedly, he had no idea how long he could keep up against a Sapling, someone with an extra year of experience over him, but he hoped to at least give him a scare if it came down to blows.
Then, in the middle of such a tense atmosphere, support came from the unlikeliest of places. “Sapling Kimichika, I would recommend you stop right there.”
“Huuh?” Kimichika’s natural enemy had arrived along with his followers. “Akeru, you shit, coming to talk back to your seniors as well?”
“It looked to me as if you were speaking not as their senior but as a Court Raven, or am I mistaken? So, as a fellow Court Raven, let me warn you about something.”
“About what?”
“The person you just derogatively called a ‘lowly servant’ and attempted to punch isn't who you think—but a legitimate scion of the Northern House.”
Shigemaru turned in astonishment to Yukiya, whose face looked like he had just eaten something foul. Akeru casted a glance at his reaction as well, yet he didn’t seem to care as he kept on dispassionately disclosing the details.
“He's the grandson of the man at the very top of all warrior families—the Northern Lord, Great General Gen'ya. Within the Northern House, he’s fourth in rank, only behind the Heir and his firstborn son. Truly a Court Raven among Court Ravens.”
“This guy…?” Kimichika blurted out, completely dumbfounded.
Yukiya, meanwhile, seemed to be completely done with the entire situation. “Eh, that may be the case, yes, I guess.”
Upon the sudden discovery of an unknown high noble among their midst, shock ran through the Seeds, who had been watching with bated breath. Whispers soon spread like ripples throughout the entire hall. However, as the murmurs continued, a figure appeared from the hallway—it was none other than Seiken. Someone had to have gone to call for him.
Kimichika softly clicked his tongue.
“What's happening here?”
That was a question with no easy answer.
They all went silent for a while. In the end, the first one to raise his hand was Yukiya. “I tripped and dropped some miso soup on my senior here.”
“Oh,” Seiken didn’t react at all beyond a murmur, his expression unchanged. He turned towards Kimichika. “Is that correct?”
Being the actual source of the problem as he was, Kimichika was left in no position to disagree or argue. He made a bitter face. “It is, yes.”
Seiken gave them a small nod. “I see, I get it now. First of all, Yukiya. A warrior shouldn’t be tripping and causing others harm. Apologize to your senior.”
“Yes. My apologies, Sapling Kimichika,” Yukiya obediently bowed towards him.
Seiken watched Kimichika as the boy looked down on Yukiya with a very sour face. As he proceeded, his manner of speech remained matter-of-factly. “Now, Kimichika. You should have been able to dodge something like that, I hope you realize. To explode like that and raise your voice against a Seed is also unbecoming of you.”
“...... I apologize.”
“Both sides were in the wrong, so it should be fine to leave it at that. Any issues?” Seiken said. Then, he just quietly watched both trainees.
“None.”
“It’s fine with me.”
So neither side had complaints. “Very well. You two, better learn from this. Your punishment shall be to work together to clean this mess. Understood?”
——In short, Seiken let them all go scot-free.
Both boys immediately agreed and saluted their instructor. Seiken gave them a pleased smile and, with that matter settled, he turned his gaze towards Akeru instead. “Good job mediating.”
“Oh, I couldn't simply stand aside as a Court Raven in the same faction as Yukiya,” Akeru calmly answered in turn.
“I won’t deny that but,” Seiken continued with his usual smile, “I don't recommend bringing up house matters like that in the Monastery. It may have worked here, but it wasn't really your place to reveal Yukiya’s status like that.”
Akeru was clearly not used to getting any warnings from the instructors. His eyes widened, caught by surprise, before he frowned and looked up at Seiken in defiance.
“...... Instructor Seiken, who do you side with? The Animiya Faction, or Wakamiya's?”
Prompted by Akeru's question, Kimichika’s gaze became piercing. He wasn't the only one either—all the trainees in the hall turned towards Seiken at once. Yet the man didn't hesitate—not even for a second—, that faint smile of his unshaken. Not even a situation like this was enough to break through his usual gentle demeanor.
“There's not much meaning in such a question. Lord Natsuka has expressed his wish to serve His Highness Wakamiya, so I don’t think such factions are a good fit for the current state of affairs.”
“That's just officially, isn't it? In practice, the Imperial Court is divided into them.”
“Even if that's the case,” Seiken calmly looked at the increasingly emotional Akeru, “The Monastery is a facility to raise members of the Yamauchi Guard, those who shall serve the Imperial Family. It would be wrong to pay undue attention to factions or any hierarchy beyond that of the Golden Raven himself. Even if the person is part of the Imperial Family. Besides, first and foremost, I'm an instructor here at the Monastery.”
Seiken's tone was no different whatsoever from what he used during lessons. “Whatever the state of politics may be, my duty is to support this facility's trainees.” Akeru was left with no arguments, and Seiken gave him a concerned look. “If you obsess so much over what's going on outside, you'll miss what's happening around you. Do be careful.”
“——So? Can someone explain to me what's going on?” Ichiryuu asked, his eye twitching.
“Well, as Instructor Seiken told us to do, we were cleaning the dining hall until a moment ago. Kimichika left early despite being told to do it too, though. It's honestly already a miracle we received no real punishment, which is why we have no intention to tell on him, all things considered. It was truly lucky for us that it was Instructor Seiken,” Shigemaru replied.
“No, no, I don't care about that part,” Ichiryuu grumbled. “What I actually want to know is why exactly this room has an additional Seed now!”
There were actually three boys sitting squarely in front of the scowling Ichiryuu. Yukiya, Shigemaru—and Chihaya.
“Oh, that’s because of Kimichika! He was the one in charge of mentoring Chihaya, but he went and kicked him out of their room.”
He had been the cause of the entire incident, yet Chihaya ended up being completely ignored midway through. As Shigemaru was painfully aware they had just made matters worse for him, he couldn’t bring himself to ignore his plight.
“As long as we make it in time for the morning roll call, I've heard that the instructors don't care what we do outside of lessons. Sapling Ichiryuu, he truly has nowhere to go. Won't you let him remain here in the tenth room with us?”
“No freaking way. The room is already tiny as-is, and you're asking me for permission to make it worse?” The main interested party, Chihaya, kept up his glum silence in a corner of the room, unwilling to cooperate. Meanwhile, the obviously dissatisfied Ichiryuu was at his wit’s end, holding his head. “Don't you get it? Mind to remember that due to your size, Shigemaru, my own space is already reduced to only a quarter of the entire? I'm a Sapling, I'm not supposed to have so little space to sleep!”
“Don't be so stingy! You're our senior, right?”
“Then tell me, juniors, who exactly are the ones forcing their senior to go through such a humiliation?”
“We just have to take the partition screen away, don't we?” Yukiya said, a rather blatant attempt to poke fun at him.
“No fucking way,” Ichiryuu growled in response before, finally, covering his face with his hands. “Besides, this entire mess was because of Kimichika, right? I told you not to get involved with him! I knew it already, somehow, but I see you truly don't listen to what I say,” Ichiryuu lamented to himself.
“Is Kimichika unpopular even among the Saplings?” Shigemaru asked him.
“Huh? Ah, yes……” Ichiryuu responded bitterly. “There are rumors that he only passed last year's trial because some instructor with ties to the South is playing favorites with him. His personality is awful and he's as dumb as a brick, so nobody outside his circle of Southern people likes him. He’s somewhat strong though, I’ll give him that.”
“Stronger than you, Sapling Ichiryuu?”
“Cut it out! Anyway, he's someone who you would expect to get kicked out because of his personality alone.”
That kind of insolent behavior was a constant of his and he was always surrounded by his own Southern followers, according to Ichiryuu. Taking care of their own trays after dinner was a rule that applied to everyone, be it instructor or trainee. Kimichika’s disrespect for the rules was, ultimately, the actual source of the problem.
——Disregarding the Monastery's rules was a massive issue in itself, so the house he came from didn't even matter. At that moment, just as that thought crossed his mind, Shigemaru happened to remember something else—the real identity of the boy sitting right beside him, Yukiya.
“Actually, now that we’re talking about that—so you were an actual young master,” Shigemaru nonchalantly said to him.
“Wait a moment!” Yukiya, on the other hand, panicked all of a sudden. “I didn’t lie per se when I said I was from Taruhi. It's just—my birth mother is from the Northern House. That's all! So, you see……” Yukiya's voice started to fizzle out until it completely died off. He looked at Shigemaru with an upwards gaze. “Are you angry?”
From the looks of it, Yukiya was genuinely scared of his reaction.
“Why would I be?” Shigemaru, puzzled, asked back. “I said it before, remember? I have no intention to judge others over the circumstances of their birth. If I hated you simply because you're a noble, then I wouldn't be any different from Kimichika, would I?”
“Shige!” Yukiya exclaimed. The boy was oddly yet clearly moved by his words and, to Shigemaru, that made for quite the amusing reaction.
“Ah, but don't ask me to treat you with that kind of respect after all this time. It won't happen,” Shigemaru took his chance to tease him.
“Who would say an idiotic thing like that!?” Yukiya shouted. “I'm actually glad to hear that.”
“And I thought you would say so! So, business as usual for us.”
After spectating the entire conversation with plain concern in his eyes, Ichiryuu finally sighed in relief. With that problem solved, he instead turned his head slightly, glancing at Chihaya, who hadn't uttered a word ever since he had arrived.
“...... Well, if there's no alternative, fine. Listen, Chihaya, I don't mind if you spend the nights here, but you better not cause any further issues. No fights and, please, let's coexist in peace.” Otherwise, Ichiryuu’s utter failure as a mentor would catch even the instructors’ attention.
However, Chihaya's answer was as blunt as it was cold. “I refuse.”
At first, Ichiryuu wasn't able to grasp what Chihaya had just said.
“W-What?” His voice shook. He hadn’t said anything strange as the room's senior, it could even be said to have been the absolute bare minimum. Why would Chihaya refuse like that? He couldn’t figure it out.
“Chihaya?” Yukiya too called out to him.
In the meantime, Chihaya’s sharp eyes were fixed dangerously on Ichiryuu and Yukiya.
“You and the runt. You're nobles, right?”
“Even if you call us nobles… Yukiya aside, I'm just from the rural nobility,” a stunned Ichiryuu answered.
“Then you have horses.”
“Eh? Well, yes.”
A Township Lord's residence couldn't even begin to function without horses. It would greatly affect the officers’ work. Shigemaru had visited the Shimaki Lord’s residence once, and he remembered seeing some impressive stables there. He truly doubted Taruhi was in any way different. It was all simply a given, yet Chihaya's gaze got even colder once he heard that.
“I hate Court Ravens. We can't get along then.” He glared at them, all stunned into silence, before rushing to the exit and leaving the room altogether.
“Wait, Chihaya!” Yukiya tried to follow after him, but Shigemaru quickly stopped him.
Once he got him to stop, Shigemaru turned towards a shocked Ichiryuu and deeply bowed his head. “I'm sorry, senior, but could you wait for a bit?”
“Wait, why are you apologizing in the first place?”
“As a fellow Hill Raven, it’s not as if I can't understand how he feels. Would you leave this to me?”
Unlike Court Raven, Hill Raven was often used to talk about commoners in a derogatory way. Making a point out of using those words in specific was apparently enough for Ichiryuu to get the gist of the problem. There was clear tension on his face as he gave him a still dazed nod.
“——Fine, I'll leave it to you. Bring him back here immediately.”
“Thank you.” Shigemaru took his ornamented blade and flew out of the room.
It didn’t take him long to find Chihaya. He was right behind the building, sitting with his back against the wall. The light leaking from the inside dimly illuminated him, and there was a small bundle of belongings at his feet. Kimichika had thrown it at him when he kicked him out. It was all of Chihaya’s luggage, a shockingly small amount even for a commoner.
“..... Both Ichiryuu and Yukiya were at a loss.” Shigemaru called out to him as he made sure to keep his distance. Chihaya glanced at him for a second, before dropping his gaze back to the ground.
“I don't care.”
“Well, you should be a bit more humble if you plan to secure a place to sleep. Don't tell me you plan to pass the night out here?”
“That was the idea, yes.”
“Wait, wait—are you for real?”
Shigemaru had been fully intending to bring Chihaya back to the tenth room, yet he had never imagined Chihaya was truly planning to sleep outside otherwise. After thinking for a while, Shigemaru leaned on the wall by Chihaya’s side with enough space between them that it was impossible to reach the other even if they extended their arms.
“I doubt Yukiya and Ichiryuu have ever considered how much the Yatagarasu who end up as horses must truly hate it, you know,” Shigemaru mused as he looked up to the sky.
There was the waning moon, floating dimly over the dormitories’ lined up roofs. Soft moonlight shone over the persimmon trees, already covered in young green leaves, leaving shadows all over the ground. Shigemaru inhaled deeply—the air was different now than when they had first joined. One could feel the approaching summer in it.
“....... And, if you think about it, the most likely reason they can't imagine it at all is because they haven't ever mistreated one, right?”
He heard Chihaya quietly laugh at his side. “If that’s enough for them to ignore the problem, isn't that more cruel than actual mockery?”
“Maybe it is,” Shigemaru felt Chihaya relaxing beside him, so he intentionally employed a nonchalant tone as he spoke. “You know, during a famine long ago, my grandpa on my mother's side was left with no options to survive. He refused to sell my mom to the Red Light District, so he chose to become a horse for the local landlord. I wouldn’t have even been born if he hadn't made that sacrifice.”
Chihaya didn't say a word in answer, but he changed his pose. He was listening to what Shigemaru had to say. “He made the decision himself, so he turned into quite the well-behaved horse. It seems his owners were very gentle with him too, so much so that the entire family took personal care of him in his last moments. Is it cruel? Yes, maybe, but I'm glad my grandpa wasn't whipped or didn’t have to suffer unnecessarily at least. I would rather have it that way.”
“...... He protected his daughter.”
Chihaya was still very much a man of few words, but Shigemaru nevertheless understood what he meant—that he found his grandpa admirable.
“Thank you,” Shigemaru softly laughed. “If I had to make a guess, both Yukiya and Ichiryuu are ‘good owners’ as well and haven't ever had a family member become a horse. They're nice people, but I very much doubt there's any fixing that. There are things you can't truly understand until you experience them yourself.”
Chihaya didn’t speak at all, but he made a point out of his own lack of reaction.
“But, even if that’s the case, I think it would also be your loss to reject them altogether over that. Just as we cannot become Court Ravens because we want to, it’s not like they have ever experienced the life of a Hill Raven either,” Shigemaru stretched as he said that. “I’m fine if we don't understand each other perfectly. I don’t care for the kind of person who will force said understanding. You know, what actually matters to me is whether they comprehend that there's no reason to ridicule or look down on others over the world they live in.”
“So you’re saying I should remain silent to the Court Ravens’ abuse?” Chihaya spouted sarcastically.
“No way!” Shigemaru laughed. “Mock those small-minded enough to accept only their own worldviews all you want. But if you sneer at people just because they happen to be Court Ravens, you aren’t really any different from them.”
Finally, Chihaya sighed weakly, his eyes still fixed on his feet. “I'll keep that in mind.”
“Good, that should be enough.”
They stayed there for a long while. Shigemaru gazed at the night sky and Chihaya at the ground, his arms crossed inside his sleeves.
“...... People like family to me were falsely accused of stealing. They had their legs cut. The son of the landlord at the farm they worked at was the actual perpetrator,” Chihaya murmured.
“I see,” was Shigemaru’s only response. Chihaya probably meant the third leg that appeared in bird form, given the context.
——Someone close to Chihaya was falsely incriminated and Disarticulated.
While those who became horses by contract had their third leg bound with a special cord by their owners, and they couldn't transform back to human form without permission, there was no going back for those who had their leg cut, their other form forever out of reach.
For the first time since their conversation had started, Chihaya raised his head to look at Shigemaru.
“Don't—”
“Say anything, right? I won't, don't worry. I'll wait until you're ready to tell them yourself.”
“Will that day ever come?” 
While Chihaya seemed to have no such expectations, Shigemaru nodded with full confidence. “It will. At the very least, I believe so.”
Next: Akeru (Part 1)
—————————————
1: Sanpaku eyes or three whites eyes (三白目) refer to cases in which the sclera around the iris is also visible due to it being comparatively tiny.
2: The time measurement here is actually done in koku (刻). Historically, koku has meant many things, with a day being divided differently depending on time period and area. Probably the most well known form of koku has night and day divided in 6 koku each, for a total of 12 koku, each one named after one of the animals of the chinese zodiac. While, in practice, this meant the length of a koku changed depending on the time of the year and whether it was a night koku or a day koku, the overall average length would be that of two of our modern hours. As far as I know, this and koku-as-half-an-hour are the most well-known standards, but due to pure narrative logic I'm interpreting the koku in Yamauchi as 12-koku-a-day. Finishing dinner and cleaning in 15 minutes for so many people is unrealistic.
3: Once more, ancient forms of measurement are used here. In this case, it's the Ken (間). Unlike the Koku and its flexible nature, a Ken is precisely 1,818 meters.
4: Rokon is what we would call a 'dharma name' (戒名), which are either given to buddhist monks after taking their vows or, within japanese culture at least, given to the dead posthumously. The first category is the one that applies here. This is also the case for other characters who have taken vows like, for example, Natsuka. The men aside, Masuho no Susuki most likely got a dharma name as well once she became a nun, but as she uses her alias or karina (仮名) we never get to learn about it. As one would expect of a setting based on the Heian era, when one could say Zen Buddhism was most influential, a lot of details are affected by it.
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connor6sex · 2 days ago
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EPHEMERAL SMP (My writeup)
Hi, my IGN is Lunethh. I joined the server 20 minutes late, and wandered around until i found someone (Lulu175) who said there was a trial chamber near spawn. I decided to accompany them to the trial. On the way we ran into a Catbboymmilo, who had iron and gave us shields. Catboy also gave me a bone, and with it i was able to tame a single nearby Wolf. This wolf was to be named Archduke Franz Ferdinand. And if anything bad happened to him, i swore i would find a way to start a world war.
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Before our journey to the trial chamber commenced, Lulu declared we must get a bed, because she would surely die and wanted to set her spawn. This was an excellent call from Lulu, who got the most deaths on the server with 42.
We wandered into a forest where we met DarubyPrincxx, who had gone mining and had iron for shears. They lent us shears so we could make a bed and head off to the Chamber.
And to the Trial Chamber we went. There was a little trouble getting to it due to the immense lag we had mining straight down. It took ten minutes to mine maybe 30 blocks down. But eventually we were in the Trial Chamber, with stone tools and no food.
And none of us were really experienced Trialers, I'd not actually played the latest version of the game at all, and Lulu only ever poked around Trial chambers in creative, but we managed. Managed to get the most deaths on the server.
Eventually we ran into someone else in the trials. Mothyboyo i think. And they had cleared a room and gotten a omen potion. (Or milo found the first omen bottle, not entirely clear, but regardless) The trials got harder. With the omen, but we did, eventually. With a lot of deaths, manage to get some ominous keys and start opening a vault. And on our second ominous vault, Milo dropped a heavy core.
This was the first of many maces we would acquire.
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We all got to kill each other with the mace right away, getting the achievements in chat and we declared ourselves Mace Trio. I wanted to leave the trials right away to go start killing people at spawn with the mace, but Lulu and Milo insisted we get more maces. I said that us getting more maces was statistically unlikely.
However Milo said "LETS GO GAMBLING" and that's hard to argue with. So we cleared the next rooms, and eventually got another Mace. At that point i said, we should really go back to spawn now, but the response once more was LETS GO GAMBLING. And that's really hard to argue with.
We ended up leaving the trail chamber with not two, not three, but FIVE maces.
At one point i nearly had a diplomatic incident in chat, when i asked very politely, if i could abolish the monarchy that had been growing in strength while Mace Trio and I were below the ground.
The leader of the Monarchy, the Monarch themself, RGBmothman, promptly declared war on me Specifically. However, when i pointed out that i merely asked to abolish the monarchy, and didn't threaten it at all beyond asking. A ceasefire was declared, and i asked if we were about to kiss. They did not Reply to me about if we were in fact about to kiss. But I digress.
Eventually we did surface, maces in hand and ready to kill. But before i went on a killing spree, we gathered candles in the Trial Chamber that we wanted to bring to the Vigil. It wasn't enough candles to offset the combined deaths we all had in the trials. But it seemed like a nice thing to do.
We spent some time at spawn, and noticed The Emerald Throne, which had been there since i logged on. The throne was made of dirt. Not emerald, so with Trial Chamber loot, Lulu fixed this.
On the way to the Vigil, we witnessed a wafflehouse massacre, and I ended up getting murdered on the steps of the Wafflehouse. I believe it was either Engibot or Kafrisuru, who killed a lot of people. The only thing i recovered from my death was my Mace. Thankfully. I really don't know how that worked out, it had fallen into the river, and i guess they didn't spend too long looting my corpse. But i did have good stuff on me. like 1/2 diamond and 2 god apples.
Anyhow. With one more death, we made our way to the vigil to give them some candles. On our way there, we were stopped by the Monarchy's soldiers. They were looking for someone who stole something or something. idk, i was a little wary of them because they had previously declared war on me.
We didn't end up having any trouble with them, but that would not be our last encounter with the Monarchy (i don't like monarchs out of principle)
Heading back to spawn, we searched for the rumoured Sex House. When i had asked Willow what it was, i was told that it was a house at spawn with all the player beds. And someone just put a sign there. And i wanted to see it for myself.
With a bed of my own, and a hefty shaft in my hand, i found nothing at spawn. But i did see the monarch nearish. I figured a ruler would know of the comings and goings of the world, and asked if they knew of the Sex House.
They did not know where it was, but as we fell into discussion, i said "its not about finding a sex house, but building a sex home" and the monarch and I discovered the true meaning of Sexmas. As well as found out that we were in fact, about to kiss.
But we had to split ways with our insight shared, I had to start construction of a new Sex House. A house for all of us, a house for Sex.
Just off the coast of spawn, right where the stone beach turns to grass sat a small roof held up by fenceposts with a single wall. It wasn't much, but it was the start of the SexHouse that i know and (made) love.
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Now that i had two of my primal needs satisfied, (Shelter & Companionship), i needed to sate my thirst for blood. I had a mace, and i had windcharges, i wanted murder almost as much as i wanted sexhouse.
Most of my time left on the server was spent trying to kill people. I think i killed a lot of people. I killed God even. I asked them if they wanted to be killed by my Mace. And they said yes, and switched to survival.
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The rest of the time went peacefully and bloodily, at one point there was a dirt mansion massacre, where the dirt baron brought me and lulu to the highest point of the manor, and stood directly below it, with a small crowd of other people who wanted to be killed by the mace. It was a smashing time.
And best of all, nothing bad ever happened to my dog. Nothing bad has ever, or will ever happen to my dog.
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Vander's betrayal changed Silco. But I firmly believe that if you went into that pre-betrayal flashback and asked Silco, on the spot, "You can have Vander, or you can have Zaun. Which?" Silco would choose Zaun every time. Like, I ship Silco and Vander, and I still don't believe that Silco loves Vander more than he loves Zaun. It is part of the point of his entire arc: that finally, in Jinx, Silco has found the first person he loves more than he cares about the dream of Zaun.
I don't believe that Silco only wants violence. But I believe that Silco would leave behind a Vander who was not willing to do what was necessary for a free Zaun.
I do also believe that Silco is capable of forgiveness. Silco is offering forgiveness in S1E3. His forgiveness is simply conditional: join with me again. Show me once more that I can believe in you.
And, as I addressed: if we hypothesize that Silco found Vander's letter, and convinced Vander to keep working with him towards Zaunite liberation, then the world never reaches the conditions necessary for Vi's heist. Not just because Zaun itself would be changed, but because Vi herself would not be bucking against Vander's apathy and immobility.
To address a point in your other post:
I also don't think the treatment would be "magical", Vander made peace with Grayson, so Grayson could have gotten Silco the necessary treatment. Maybe it would have also been that kind of "You owe it to us." situation to help Silco, since Vander's the one who tried to kill him, but it's the water Piltover poisoned that will continue trying.
This assumes there is a treatment existing in Piltover that is capable of fixing Silco's eye significantly better than Shimmer can. Not only do I believe this is contra-indicated by the broad strokes of Viktor's plot in S1, it also runs counter to what we see of Silco's character in S1. He is a man Literally Too Angry To Die, he is using Shimmer to stave off the infection in his eye so he can live; so he can stay alive long enough to see his dream of Zaun through. He has the money. He has a respectable enough cover in Piltover to be known as, "Silco, the industrialist?". If all along there was a cure in Piltover for his eye, why would he not simply obtain it when he was able?
I'm going to throw hands if another person says that Vander and Silco reunited bc of Vi's death. Silco's eye was long gone into its infection when the four of them broke into Jayce's apartment.. Silco's eye in the happy AU is a yellow tint of white with a light brown iris and this is years after Vi's death. Which means his infection was properly treated way earlier than in our timeline.
Which means Silco and Vander reconnected and Silco got proper treatment BEFORE Vi's death, which means Silco was also in Vi's life before her death, which also means that its entirely possibly that this AU exists because Silco got Vander's letter.
Square up.
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swordsandflowercrowns · 10 months ago
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luke is such an empathetic character because uncle rick just gives us a boy who's grown up feeling abandoned by his father, who he also deems responsible for essentially losing his mother. he loses one of his best friends because her very birth is seen as a mistake to the gods, and the very best zeus can do for her as she gives her life for her friends is to turn her into a tree. he becomes the best swordsman at camp, he successfully completes his quest, he's good, he's a good kid, and STILL he doesn't get so much as an acknowledgement from his father. he may be 19 during tlt but he has been a KID throughout all of this and he is desperate. of course he made the choices he did. it was ALWAYS going to happen.
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fusionsprunt · 5 months ago
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Hunter, Year 4036
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dykedvonte · 5 months ago
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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screamsofanoutlawbrain · 5 months ago
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Sonic au cause this has been marinating in my brain for over a week.
Basically, Queen Aleena (sonic's mom from sonic underground) but instead of being a queen, she's the guardian of the time stones on little planet (from sonic CD).
Her three triplets: Sonic, Moxie (Manic), and Scarlett (Sonia) all lived with her on little planet in peace until- oops! Eggman has killed her children and robotizied little planet. Aleena tries to turn back time with the time stones to save her children and the planet, and it fails, over, and over, and over. Until it ends up messing with time a bit, causing a young Sonic to wake up on a robot-less little planet, with only his medallion(from sonic underground) in his hand and faint memories in his mind, that he thinks are just dreams. (Basically Aleena accidentally pulled a Dr Gaster and is stuck in the limbo of time)
Then Sonic leaves for Earth and the current Sonic cannon told through the games occurs. After a while (a little after sonic cd takes place) Moxie wakes on little planet, medallion in hand but a bit more convinced his faint memories are real, then Scarlett wakes a while later, medallion and faint memories in tow. Moxie and Scarlett reunite, declare each other family, and chill on little planet.
After an even longer time, Aleena wakes next to the time stones on little planet, memories fully intact and released from time limbo. She reunites with Moxie and Scarlett, and the two triplets go to Earth to search for their brother, Aleena staying behind to guard the time stones.
Through various highginks and adventures while getting used to city life, Scarlett and Moxie find and meet Sonic and Tails, and Sonic realizes that those faint memories of a past are real. Tails is immediately recognized as family, no questions asked. Soon the triplets and Tails go to see Aleena on little planet, and they reunite, (Tails is further recognized as family by Aleena).
TLDR: Single mother and time stone protector Aleena the hedgehog goes through so much suffering and timeline breaking to make sure her planet and children are alive, succeeds, and adopts another child.
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obessivedork · 8 months ago
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Once again thinking about Preston adopting Danse under his wing as a favour to the Sole Survivor and the two of them becoming the best team in the Commonwealth almost instantly 😘👌 10/10 once they talk things out they're the best of friends
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firendgold · 12 days ago
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I always block the Manipulative Albus tag obviously but I also always want to block the Good Albus tag because I mean… isn’t that a given? That’s like having a Good Harry Potter tag… like, no shit. Fork found in kitchen.
Like yeah he made some tough decisions but his intentions were good. And, imo, if the information, skills and power were placed in anyone else’s hands - whether it be McGonagall or Kingsley or even Harry himself (as Inverse elucidates)- they would have struggled and failed to do better.
Also like… the Grindelwald stuff was literally a century ago when Dumbledore was practically a child. Why are we so generous towards Regulus Black who probably literally butchered muggles and muggleborns but we can’t forgive Albus who was lower-class, had an insanely difficult homelife and likely faced otherization and racism for having a Native American, muggleborn mother. I think if you can forgive anyone for being radicalised against muggles, you can forgive the teenage boy who eventually lost his mother, his father and his sister because of an anti-Wizard/Witch hate crime.
Ugh.
Most people don't bother to look into Albus' deeper history—and by that I mean the stuff we knew even before Pottermore and Fantastic Beasts and the outside interviews. All of the information about Albus' past is in Deathly Hallows, his race and social status and circumstances—all right there for people to read. But that cements Albus's status as a good but complex character so bashers ignore it or downplay it. And I in turn ignore them.
To your point about the 'good Albus' tag, I think you have to consider what you said first about the manipulative Albus tag. It is so ubiquitous. In just the six years or so since I got back into HP fanfic and fandom, the amount of dumb people who think Albus is manipulative/evil/shady has not decreased. It has quadrupled if anything. Even when using the tag that's supposed to be about Albus and Harry's positive relationship, there are at least 80 fics right now on AO3 that have that tag or similar. You have to block it all to stay sane.
But EVEN if you block the manipulative/evil/greater good tags, lots of other people will write fics about Albus with neither a good nor manipulative tag, but then their Albus Dumbledore will still be wrong. He will be manipulative and want to control everyone, will be untrustworthy for "some" reason not ever quite explained to the reader, will still be pining after Grindelwald and worshipping at the altar of the 'Greater Good' even after age 17. So unfortunately no, 'Albus is a good person' is still not a given in this fandom. The incorrect takes have so deeply permeated the meta discussions that it is very easy to find fics without any labels that honestly need the manipulative tag, even though the authors would probably argue you down about how "problematic" Albus is if you engaged them in dialogue.
(Example necessary probably, but just try to find a Harry/Hermione fic where Hermione doesn't randomly bash Dumbledore and act like she, a teenager or twenty-something, knows better than him, even though canon Hermione had the correct takes about Dumbledore the entire series. Check and I guarantee you that a good portion of them won't even tag manipulative Dumbledore, especially if it's a post-war fic and he's not alive. Incorrect takes abound. :'/)
I think the people who use the Good Albus tag know that water is wet just like you and I do. They know Albus is—well, really morally gray in many aspects, but a good person overall. But these authors are saying, "there has to be some counterbalance. People reading my fics should know that I am presenting the character as he is, and not as I presume him to be".
I personally haven't used the Good!Albus tag because my fics are meant to counter those many false-advertising fics out there that don't tag "I think Albus is as evil and/or controlling as Voldemort" but say that anyway when I try to read them.
As for Regulus Black... don't look at me lol. I think he's an intriguing character—or was before the 'marauders fandom' got their hands on him—but he's not moving any mountains in my fanverse just because his elf was threatened and his feelings got hurt. I'll stick to focusing on Albus.
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bigkickguy · 9 months ago
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wip - trying to doodle my rarepair on the beach and i can't stop trying to make emo ideas happen so im spitting out here to get it out of my head eustace and isaac could be cute !! just let them have their peace and quiet!! I'm starting to rotating them in my mind !!
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