#there is also introspection don’t worry

[mylovesstuffs]

Ot13 and what scares them about love

Request: Hey can u do a headcanon ot13: what scares them about being in love.. or love in general? (Like not being enough, losing control, potential heartbreak… smth like that) thanks a lot:)))

A/N: I added the little bullet notes under each member’s part just in case any of you have similar fears—so that you can be reassured that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Personally, I struggle with the fear of being hard to love. It’s something deeply ingrained in me, though I won’t elaborate further. I just wanted you all to feel a little better. At the end of the day, these notes aren’t really for the members (as if they'll see this lol)—they’re for you. This headcanon (sorta) felt surprisingly personal, and writing it made me reflect on so many things about life and love in general. To the anon who requested this, thank you. Your idea was truly unique, and it gave me a space to pause, think, and see things from a different perspective of svt and others.

This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.

Seungcheol – The Fear of Failing as a Partner

How I see him is that, he carries a deep sense of responsibility, and that extends to love too. His biggest fear is not being able to protect or take care of his partner the way he wants to. He worries about not being emotionally available or strong enough when they need him most. The idea of letting someone down, especially someone he loves, weighs heavily on him.

Seungcheol, you’re doing your absolute best, and that’s more than enough. Your love is a safe space, and no one could ever doubt the strength you bring to those around you.

Jeonghan – The Fear of Losing Himself

Love is beautiful, but it’s also consuming. Jeonghan fears that being in love might make him lose parts of himself—his independence, his ability to make rational choices, or even his sense of control. He’s afraid of how much power someone else could have over his emotions, especially since he’s always the one in control of his own heart.

Love doesn’t mean losing yourself. The right person will embrace all of you, allowing you to be both independent and deeply connected. You don’t have to choose between the two.

Joshua – The Fear of Unreciprocated Effort

I feel like he’s the type to love deeply, wholeheartedly, and unconditionally. But what scares him is the possibility of loving someone more than they love him. He fears investing everything into a relationship, only to find out that his feelings are not returned in the same way. He doesn’t want to be left wondering if he was ever truly enough.

Shua, you are more than enough. Any love you give will be returned in full measure. You’re so kind and caring, and someone who sees you for who you are will love you deeply in return.

Jun – The Fear of Being Misunderstood

Jun is a deep thinker, and his emotions often run slowly beneath the surface. He worries that no matter how much he loves someone, they might never truly understand him. He’s scared of feeling alone in a relationship, of opening up completely and still not being seen for who he truly is.

The right person will understand you in ways you never imagined. Your depth is so precious, and there are people who will cherish every part of who you are.

Hoshi – The Fear of Love Fading

Love, to him, should always be full of passion and excitement. But he fears that over time, feelings might dull, routines might set in, and the relationship could become something ordinary. He wants love to always feel exhilarating, and the thought of it losing its spark terrifies him.

The most beautiful love grows even stronger with time, and the quiet moments are just as powerful as the loud ones.

Wonwoo – The Fear of Not Being Enough

Wonwoo is reserved, and deeply introspective. He worries that he won’t be able to express love in the way his partner needs. He’s afraid that his way of loving through actions rather than words, might not be enough. The idea of someone wanting more than he can give haunts him.

Wonwoo, your love is already enough. The way you care, through your actions and your presence, speaks volumes. Anyone who truly understands you will appreciate the depth of your heart.

Woozi – The Fear of Losing His Dreams for Love

As we all know, he’s very dedicated to his craft and his passion for music runs deep. While he’s capable of deep love, he fears that being in love might take away the time and energy he’s poured into his dreams. He doesn’t want to choose between love and ambition, but he’s afraid that, in the end, one might have to come before the other.

The right person will support and inspire you to keep chasing your passions while loving you in the most meaningful way.

Dokyeom – The Fear of Hurting or Disappointing Someone

Seokmin has such a big heart, and his worst fear is accidentally hurting someone he loves. He always wants to be a source of happiness, but relationships aren’t always perfect, and the thought of being the reason for someone’s pain is unbearable to him.

Kyeom, your heart is pure, and your love only brings joy to those around you. Anyone who is with you will feel lucky to have such a loving and kind soul in their life.

Mingyu – The Fear of Being Too Much

He loves intensely, and sometimes, that can feel overwhelming. Mingyu worries that his enthusiasm, his affection, and his deep emotions might be too much for someone to handle. He’s scared of loving someone with all his heart, only to be told that it’s suffocating.

Gyu :(( your love is perfect just the way it is. No one will ever think you’re too much. You are a warm, bright presence, and the right person will embrace all of that with open arms.

Minghao – The Fear of Losing Freedom

Love is beautiful (2), but Minghao values his independence. He worries about feeling trapped or restricted in a relationship, about losing the ability to chase his own passions freely. He wants to love without feeling like he has to compromise parts of himself.

The right person will love and respect your freedom while still sharing in your journey together.

Seungkwan – The Fear of Heartbreak

He loves hard, and he knows that means he has the most to lose. The thought of giving his whole heart to someone only to have it broken is terrifying. He’s scared of the kind of pain that lingers, the kind that changes a person forever.

Kwannie, your heart is strong enough to handle anything. Love will come with its ups and downs, but your ability to heal and grow will make you even stronger, and you will find a love that never breaks you.

Vernon – The Fear of Not Being Able to Express Himself

Vernon thinks deeply but doesn’t always voice everything he feels. He fears that his inability to always put his emotions into words might make his partner feel unappreciated or uncertain about his love. He doesn’t want to lose someone just because he couldn’t say the right things at the right time.

Anyone who truly cares for you will understand the depth of your feelings, even in silence. You don’t need to explain everything—you show it.

Dino – The Fear of Not Being Taken Seriously

As the youngest in svt, he’s used to being seen as playful and energetic and his partner will also know this persona just like we do. But in love, he wants to be seen as a dependable partner. He fears that no matter how much he matures, there will always be a part of him that people don’t take seriously. He doesn’t want to be seen as a ‘kid’ in love—he wants to be seen as someone who can love deeply and be a strong, steady presence in his partner’s life.

Dino, your maturity is not measured by age but by the love you give. Anyone who loves you will see the depth of your heart and appreciate the amazing, steady partner you are.

[joyfulsongbird]

cassandra and delilah’s relationship continues to fascinate me

[daydram]

going through a friend break up rn and i’ve never despised someone so much in my life. i genuinely need her out of my life

[n1daehodefender]

Their reactions of you telling them you want to start trying for a baby!

Contains: Kang dae-ho, Nam gyu, thanos

A/N: This is inspired by @svetamillss post about their headcanons of you telling them you want a baby so creditis to them!!!

Warnings: Discussions about starting a family, emotional vulnerability, mentions of trauma, and varying reactions to the concept of having children.

Kang Dae-ho

Golden Retriever Boyfriend Energy: Kang Dae-ho is the type of boyfriend who radiates warmth, kindness, and endless patience. He grew up in a household with four sisters, so he’s very attuned to emotional cues and naturally supportive. He adores you, always making sure you feel loved and safe, and he frequently daydreams about your future together.

Initial Reaction to You Asking About a Baby: When you bring up the idea of starting a family, Dae-ho freezes mid-bite of his food (because you’re probably asking during a casual, comfortable moment at home). His first instinct is to make sure he heard you correctly.

“Wait… like a baby? As in… a mini-you or me running around the house?” His voice wavers slightly, caught between surprise and excitement.

Once he processes what you’re asking, his face lights up with a mixture of joy and nervousness. He’s wanted this, but he never wanted to pressure you.

Vulnerability and Deep Conversations: That evening, he sits you down for a heartfelt talk. Dae-ho takes the idea seriously, wanting to ensure that you’re both ready for the challenges and joys of parenthood.

“You know I’d love nothing more than to be a dad… but I need to know how you’re feeling about it. Are you scared? Excited? Both?” He wants to make sure you’ve thought about every angle, not because he doubts you, but because he cares so deeply.

He also opens up about his past, talking about how his sisters shaped his view of family. “Growing up, I always thought about what kind of parent I’d want to be. And my dad-,… I don’t ever want to be that kind of dad.”

Planning and Reassurance: Dae-ho is the type to throw himself wholeheartedly into the idea once he knows you’re on the same page. He starts researching baby books, looks into parenting classes, and even asks his sisters for advice.

He’s also incredibly tender and protective of you, ensuring you feel supported every step of the way. “You know I’m here, right? Whatever happens, we’re in this together.”

Moments of Humor and Excitement: He’s already imagining what your child might look like, joking about how he hopes they get your eyes or your laugh. He gets especially sentimental at night, cuddling you close and whispering, “Can you imagine how much we’re going to love them?”

Nam Gyu

Nam Gyu is thoughtful and introspective, the kind of partner who expresses his love through actions more than words. He’s fiercely protective of you, always ensuring your needs are met, and though he isn’t outwardly affectionate, his love for you runs deep.

When you bring it up, Nam Gyu’s face remains stoic, but his hands clench slightly on the table. He’s taken aback—not because he doesn’t want children, but because the idea forces him to confront his own fears and insecurities.

“You want… a child? With me?” His voice is low, almost hesitant. He’s struggling to process what this means for both of you.

Nam Gyu worries about the world you’d bring a child into, especially given his experiences. He’s seen how cruel life can be, and the thought of exposing a child to that terrifies him.

“I don’t want them to grow up feeling… helpless,” he confesses later that night. “I’ve seen too much. What if I can’t protect them? What if I fail them?”

Despite his fears, he can’t help but picture a future where your child inherits your strength and his quiet resilience.

Nam Gyu takes time to process the idea, but he eventually comes to you with a clear decision.

“If this is what you want, I’ll do everything in my power to be the best father I can be. I just… need you to be patient with me.”

He’s cautious but willing, showing his commitment through small actions: building a crib, researching schools, and learning how to cook meals for a growing family.

Nam Gyu becomes even more attentive and protective of you, always keeping a hand on your back when you’re out together and ensuring you’re never overexerting yourself. His love deepens in ways he didn’t think were possible

Thanos (Su-bong)

Thanos is the life of the party, always cracking jokes and keeping the mood light. But beneath his humor is a man who has endured pain and loss, which makes him cherish you all the more. He’s your biggest cheerleader, constantly reminding you how amazing you are.

When you bring up the idea, Thanos immediately bursts into laughter—not because he’s mocking you, but because he’s genuinely shocked and unsure how to process his emotions.

“You’re serious? Like… you want a little Thanos running around? Or maybe a mini-you with your brains and my charm?”

Emotional Vulnerability: Later, when the reality sinks in, he becomes more serious. Thanos isn’t afraid to admit his fears, and he opens up about his past struggles.

“I’ve lost so much, you know? The idea of having something—someone—so precious… it scares the hell out of me. But you… you make me believe it’s possible.”

He confesses his deepest fear: losing you or the child. “I don’t know what I’d do if something went wrong, but if this is what you want… I’m in. No questions asked.”

Thanos approaches the idea of parenthood with his signature humor, making you laugh during otherwise emotional moments.

“Do you think they’ll inherit my good looks or your stubbornness? Or maybe both—poor kid’s doomed either way.”

He starts brainstorming ridiculous baby names and jokingly practices “dad jokes” to prepare for the role.

Beneath his playful exterior, Thanos shows a side of himself that’s deeply emotional and committed. He talks to your belly long before you’re even pregnant, promising the baby a life filled with love, laughter, and bad jokes.

“They’re going to have the best life because they’ll have you as a mom. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure they know how much they’re loved.”

[ivyues]

Dreaming of Peaches - Bang Chan

Bang Chan has a dream of little curls and your eyes.

It had been a strange day. Chris had been acting a bit off, nothing too alarming, but enough for you to notice. He was quieter than usual, his touches lingering just a bit longer, as though he was lost in thought every time he looked at you. It wasn’t unusual for him to have moments of introspection, but today felt... different.

Later that evening, as you were settled in your bed, you felt his arms snake around your waist from behind. He pulled you close, his chin resting on your shoulder. His hand, warm and steady, came to rest on your stomach. It was comforting, and yet, there was a nervous energy about him.

“Chris,” you murmured, placing your hand over his. “Are you okay? You’ve been... distant today.”

There was a pause. You felt him shift slightly, his hand retreating as if it had been caught somewhere it wasn’t meant to be. That small movement made you turn around to face him. His eyes flicked away, uncharacteristically avoiding yours. That alone was enough to make you tilt your head in confusion.

“Hey,” you said softly, taking his hand in yours. “What’s going on? You know you can tell me anything if you want.”

His lips parted, but no words came out at first. He looked almost embarrassed, his ears tinged pink, and he ran a hand through his hair before meeting your gaze. “I... I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s... kind of silly, really.”

Your reassuring look must have encouraged him, because he sighed and began to ramble. “I had this dream last night. You were pregnant... and we had a little girl. She was running around, and she had my stupid curly hair and your eyes. And – I don’t know – it felt so real. When I woke up, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I don’t want you to feel pressured, or like I’m... pushing something on you, or that—”

“Chris,” you interrupted gently, squeezing his hand. He stopped mid-sentence, looking at you with wide, almost vulnerable eyes. “I don’t know what the future holds for us,” you admitted, your voice steady. “But if it’s with you, I’m not scared.”

There was a beat of silence before a smile broke across his face, soft and boyish. “She had your eyes,” he repeated, a hint of awe in his voice. “And the curliest little head of hair, just like mine. And—” He chuckled, his voice warming with amusement. “you had this little baby bump. Like, the cutest little bump I’ve ever seen.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling the tension dissolve into something tender and warm. “The bump, huh? That’s what stood out to you?”

Chris’ ears turned a shade pinker as he grinned sheepishly. “I mean, yeah. You were glowing, and you kept resting your hands on it like it was the most precious thing in the world. I guess it just stuck with me.”

You looked at him thoughtfully, gently brushing a strand of his hair away. “Dreams can be silly, but can also hold wants of the heart. If ours don’t align, we should always be honest with each other. No matter what.”

Chris’s smile widened, and he leaned in to kiss your forehead. “You’re right. And hey, don’t worry, I’ve already got seven kids to take care of,” he said with a mischievous grin.

You laughed then raised an eyebrow, a thought hitting you. “By the way… what did we name the child?”

Chris paused for a moment, then let out a dramatic sigh. “I think we called her … Peaches,” he said, grinning like he had just solved the biggest mystery of the century.

You blinked at him, unable to hold back your laughter. “Peaches? Really?”

“Hey, it was your idea,” he teased, winking.

You gasped, still laughing, and held up your hands in protest. "Nonono, we are not naming our kid something like that," you said, eyes wide with disbelief.

Chris chuckled, the mischievous glint in his eyes never fading as you protested. But before you could argue further, he leaned in, silencing you with a gentle kiss. His lips were soft, a mix of affection and amusement, and the warmth of his touch sent a ripple of calm through you.

Shaking his head he mouthed the words "our kid" – almost as if he was testing the idea out in his own mind, as if it was too surreal for him to say aloud.

masterlist

[motthe]

Maybe some Young! Silco fic? (Or anything that you wanna do) I already loved his older version but his Young self in The last episodes got my heart in a grip 😭💖💖 He looks so full of dreams and maybe a little silly. Maybe with a energetic/chaotic significant other!

young!silco also has me in a death grip don't worry. hope you enjoy this!!

warnings: fem!reader, violence, sexual innuendos, secondhand embarrassment for drunk rambling

“It’s doable!”

“Doable and survivable are two very different things.”

Vander knocked his head against the metal backing of his mining gloves repeatedly, aching for the two of you to come to a compromise. The light of the fungi matched the tink tink tink of his patience running thin.

Crunching footsteps had him pausing, one eye opening to find Felicia pushing her helmet up higher on her head as she stared at you and Silco just beyond, still very much squabbling. She leaned on her hip, one hand rising to rest on it as she smiled down at Vander’s hunched form.

“Are they still arguing about the gap?” she whispered.

He groaned quietly instead of answering. It was all she needed.

“I can make it!” you protested, arms gesturing to the other side of the ravine. “I’ve jumped buildings twice the distance.”

“When you’re jumping buildings you can see the ground,” Silco argued, pointing to the darkness below. “We don’t know how long a fall that is, you absolute lunatic.”

“You’ve gotta hand it to her,” Felicia chuckled, taking up camp next to Vander. “No one else would even think of jumping across.”

“She’s an adrenaline junkie,” Vander muttered. “Jumping off shit is all she thinks about.”

“Would you—just let me—damn it, Sil!”

The shuffle of boots and clothes had both of their heads turning, watching with equally amused expressions as Silco passed by with you being half carried half dragged away from the ravine. Silco didn’t pay them a glance as he went. You kept stretching back the way you came, struggling but not truly putting all your energy into it. Felicia could tell. You loved being his center of attention for as long as possible, even if it kept you away from your wild pastimes. 

The sound of a horn echoed through the caves, sending the fungi white with the sound. The work day was finished. 

“Back to the last drop, then?” Felicia hummed, standing and offering a hand to the big man. He accepted it with a soft grin, following her out. The two of them watched Silco far ahead, who was now fully carrying you in your grieved state. You kept muttering you could have made it.

“Think they’ll ever get together?” she hummed, nudging Vander.

“Wish they would,” he sighed. “It was annoying years ago, now its just pitiful.”

She laughed, waving a hand at you when you pulled your head up from Silco’s shoulder to eye them. “Well, she’ll never do it. She’s convinced herself he’s too focused on our cause to ever settle down.”

“Some days I think the same thing,” Vander said, introspective when she glanced up at him, “others, I catch him looking at her. He doesn’t open up, barely does around us, but…”

“Disappears around her, yeah?” She smiled at him and he mirrored her, nodding.

Later that night, the Last Drop was bustling with the newest record added to the box. You’re dancing over chairs, running across the edge of the pool tables as people chant your name. Someone tossed a mug through the air and you caught it, swallowing the contents down and cheering with the rest before continuing on with dancing. 

Silco watched from his bar seat. He had cruel timing, turning his eyes back to his notebook when you pulled yourself away from the crowd to glance at him. To you, he was lost in his own world, but really he fell into yours quite easily. You were distracting. He perked up at the sound of your voice without meaning to, knew the outline of your body in his periphery. Abrasive and chaotic. You’re too much, too loud.

Too perfect for someone as withdrawn and stiff as him.

“Oh, heaven help me,” Vander grumbled, both hands on the bar as he stared at the scene. Silco paused to raise an eyebrow at him. “She just downed three shots in one.”

“How many does that make it now?” he questioned.

“Eight.”

Both of their heads dropped, knowing how the night would be going.

“All right, I give!” Felcia slammed a hand on the bar as she walked up, panting. “I can’t keep up with her. Gods. Where does she get the energy?”

Vander passed her a drink as Silco shrugged, music blaring all around them. Felicia scowled when she noticed his journal. 

“Oh, c’mon, Silco. Let loose for a bit!” she shouted over the din of the bar, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“If I did that, nothing would ever get done around here,” he returned, smirking as she rolled her eyes. 

The counter shook under them, the second bang of Vander’s fist sending both of them on high alert. Two meant trouble. 

Felicia spun around, Silco turned in his seat. There by the record player you were backed against the wall by a man, one arm caging you in while his fingers pinched your chin. The cold look in your eyes had a shiver streaking down Silco's spine. You were a storm like this and he’d been lost to it for years. 

The man said something that made you scoff, batting his hand away and sliding to get out from under him. As his hand grabbed your upper arm Silco realized he was no longer sitting. Even across the room he could read your lips.

“Last chance. Beat it,” you warned.

The man laughed and tugged you closer, it sent your knee right between his legs. When he bent over, Silco heard the crack as your fist met the man’s jaw. He hit the ground, dead weight. 

Fuck, he thought, hands curling into fists at his side. You were perfect.

You stumbled back a few steps. It seemed those shots had soaked in. You were cradling your hand as yells broke out, slow to turn as a couple of goons stood from a table nearby.

“Great,” Felicia puffed, pushing off the bar, “he had lackeys.”

Vander shouted as they ran at you, Silco was halfway to you when you dodged the first swing, putting you straight into the path of another. Your back hit the record player, a scratch disrupting the music. The entire bar turned, regulars rushing forward without second thought and jumping the goons. 

Silco went straight to you, mindful of the chair Felicia was brandishing overhead as she flew into the meat of the fight. 

“Let me see,” he said, sliding a hand under your jaw and tilting your head back. You were hunching, still holding that hand of yours to your chest. 

“Hey, Sil,” you slurred, grinning and wincing. Your lower lip was busted, the right side of your face already beginning to swell from the jaw up. “Can you believe that guy? Down in one hit, hah!”

“Still have all your teeth?” he asked, wiping the blood trailing from the corner of your mouth. 

“What? You want me to open wide for you?”

He ticked a brow, scowling through the heat that flashed through his stomach. 

“Come on, let’s get ice on that,” he muttered, wrapping an arm around you. You hummed happily, falling into his side. Even as drunk as you were, your feet barely stumbled as he led you to the basement door. He nodded to Vander who already had the same idea, coming around the back of the bar to pass him an ice pack and a clean rag. He thanked him.

“Take care of her,” Vander said, rubbing a hand over your back. You tossed the big man a smile before he returned to his station.

“Keep that on there,” Silco said to you, heart aching as you hissed at the touch of it. 

“I’ve got it,” you muttered, hand brushing his. He made sure you kept it pressed to your cheek before opening the door and helping you in first, careful of the stairs as he closed it behind him. The sounds of fighting and the skipping music was muffled as he led you into the bowels of the Last Drop, setting you down gently on the couch.

He reached for your hand, frowning when you turned away from him. 

“Let me see,” he said.

“It’s fine,” you grumbled, curling into the couch.

“I’d like to see that for myself,” he pushed, fingers gentle as they smoothed over your wrist. Your furrowed brow relaxed a bit, watery eyes trailing to him. “Let me see,” he asked again, softer.

You sighed, the weight of your arm settling into his palm as he moved to sit next to you. You hand shook in both of his, the skin of your knuckles ripped open and gushing red. When he attempted to move your pointer and middle fingers you whimpered, head falling into his shoulder.

He apologized, pulling one hand away to reach into his jacket. “It’s sprained. I’ll need to wrap it.”

“Sweet Sil,” you sighed, your good cheek rubbing against his shoulder as you brought your knees up, “always prepared for the worst.”

“I wouldn’t have to be if you weren’t constantly getting into trouble,” he hummed, pulling out a roll of bandages and beginning his work. You curled into him as he cleaned you up, tensing when he secured your bruised digits. As he tied the bandages off around your wrist, he sighed, holding your hand in his, thumb running over your skin. 

“M’sorry,” you sniffed.

He turned his head, a breath punched from his lungs as he saw tears slipping down your cheeks. The ice pack laid abandoned in your lap. 

“What are you apologizing for?” he murmured, brushing your hair out of your face. 

“I always make a mess,” you whispered, little gasps slipping. Each one was a bullet to his chest. He couldn’t stand seeing you cry. “I always annoy you.”

“No,” he murmured, arms stretching over you to pull you into his lap, “no, you don’t annoy me, pet.”

“Yes, I do,” you sobbed. “I get into t-trouble when I-when I just want you to look at me.”

Oh, Gods help him. He knew this was the alcohol talking but the hopeful flame in his heart was burning into a torch. He needed to calm you down and get you to bed. 

“I’m looking,” he said, lips grazing your forehead as he rubbed your back. “You don’t have to try so hard. I’m always looking.”

You sniffed and he grabbed the bloody rag, nudging the cleanest corner towards you to blow your nose. He chuckled when you groaned, curling deeper into his chest.

“Too drunk for this,” you mumbled. “Stupid shots.”

“Stupid shots, indeed,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Let's get you some water and go to bed.”

You whined, hiding your face in his neck. “Wanna stay here. M’warm.”

He sighed, settling into the couch. Eventually you would nod off. He’d carry you into bed, then.

“Hair’s nice.”

“What?” he chuckled, trying to look down at you, but it was impossible with you smushed up against him.

“Your hair,” you said, lips moving against his neck. “I like it when it’s bun. Hair frames your face nice. S’handsome.”

You’re going to hate yourself in the morning, he thought, holding back his laughter. You were never going to live this down and he wasn’t nearly nice enough to not tease you about this for the rest of your life. 

“Face hurts,” you sighed. He rubbed your calf, shushing you.

“Sleep, pet,” he murmured against your forehead. 

“You’ll stay?” you asked.

“I’ll stay,” he promised.

[chwefan]

made4me | vernon

ex-babydaddy!vernon x fem. reader | 7.6k words

i do NOT condone having a baby with a man you're not married to. i do not condone having unprotected sex. please do not be like them omg. this is also a reworked fic of mine so don't worry i am NOT stealing from anyone other than myself.

contains: vernon is the father of your child, you two broke up, unprotected sex, pining, yearning, mentions of a failed realtionship

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

you don’t know how you ended up in front of vernon’s place. even if you were the one behind the wheel, the one shifting the gears, and the one rolling through red stop signs and impatiently tapping your wheel at the lights, you don’t know how you ended up there. 

you looked out your driver side window to the house across the street. a long time ago, back when the wooden mailbox had your painted hand print on the side, you used to call this your home. now the place almost seemed unfamiliar. the car parked in the driveway was not yours and the mailbox was metal now. atleast you were in your right mind enough to not park directly in front. but you also knew this was just as bad. a car rolling to an ominous stop in a residential area like this would flag the attention of the over zealous neighborhood watch. looking across the street at a house in the dead of night would not work in your favor.

you knew you could’ve gone home. you could’ve let out a deep sigh to clear your head and recenter yourself. then once you realized how crazy you looked you could’ve put your car back in drive and come back in the morning when you were supposed to. you could’ve picked up your daughter the next day and pretended like none of this happened. but you knew yourself better than that, and you knew that reeling from your failed date you came to the old place that used to bring you comfort. 

you turned towards your phone, hoping that something would distract you. but when you opened your phone you saw your lockscreen—your happy little daughter trying to hold a pumpkin the size of her body as you and vernon helped. instead of taking your mind away from the situation you were pulled deeper into it. you remembered how happy you were that day, the vivid memories of talking pictures and experiencing a pumpkin patch with your daughter for the first time. like you were a happy little family again you sat next to vernon with your daughter between the two of you, stealing the occasional glances before pretending like you two were only hanging out for the sake of your daughter.

vernon even found it in himself to have a heart to heart with you. while your daughter went off to play with the other kids he initiated the conversation, talking about how introspective he’s been lately. you watched him with wide eyes as he talked about how you two were too young to have a child, and at an awkward stage in life starting your careers to have a baby in the mix. you nodded your head as he nervously shuffled and looked down at the crackling leaves underneath his feet. you saw his shoulders visibly loosen when you repeated the same sentiment, that you wouldn’t trade your daughter for the world but you often wondered what your lives would be like if you had her later in life. the question hung in the air, you could see vernon contemplate asking you what would’ve happened if you met him later in life. 

you didn’t want to answer his question. the pang in your heart and the urge to reach for his hand made you leave his side all together, running to your daughter on the playground to get away from him.

you still didn’t have the answer as you sat in the drivers seat of your car. all you knew was that you still could vividly see your daughter holding vernons finger tightly in one hand and holding a small pumpkin in the other. 

you knew that your date didn’t stand a chance once he got you started on your little family, and that he didn’t try to hide the knowing look on his face when he saw that your ex was still very much involved in your life. selling the idea that you two were simply co-parenting was alot harder to sell when the three of you occupied your homescreen and lockscreen. he noticed your wandering mind, it was obvious in the way he cleared his throat after you stared at the picture for a little too long. 

trying to comprehend your relationship with vernon was difficult. when you were with him you thought about all the shortcomings in your relationship—the lack of communication, hiding your feelings, keeping things bottled up until they exploded. neither of you were able to save your relationship before it was too late, and it could be argued that you two were better apart. but when you weren’t with him, the only thing you could think about was trying to make it work. you saw pieces of vernon in the man you were seeing, you imagined he was with you in that restaurant. maybe it was the familiarity, maybe you shouldn’t have made the mistake of seeing vernon before going on your date. because the only thing you could think about was him, if he was going on dates in secret and if he was thinking of you too. you thought about your daughter, how much you wished you were with her instead of pretending the fancy food on your plate was good.

you knew the moment you started thinking about your family that the date was already over. when you walked yourself to your car you added another endeavor to your long list of failures, all you could think about as you sat in your car was how you gave up a day you had with your daughter for this. you deleted your message history with the man, staring at your most recent text conversations. vernon sat at the very top, his unread message appearing in the form of a tiny blue dot next to his picture-less icon. determined to keep it casual, even if he was the first thing you would see when you closed out of that app as well. 

you clicked on the message thread, revealing a series of pictures of your daughter and little updates through the night.

vernon: she likes strawberries alot.

vernon: playing zelda and animal crossing on the big tv.

vernon: she’s better than me at zelda now.

vernon: she told me mommy is going on a date?

vernon: i hope it goes well.

vernon: she ate all of her food. gonna lay her down for bed soon

you don’t know why you felt guilty reading the last message. vernon didn’t have the right to know, and you knew that. you had simply told your daughter in passing that you were going on a date night with your friends, knowing that she would repeat whatever you told her to her father. you typed your reply over and over again, trying to figure out what approach to take. 

lol i was going out with some of my friends from wo\

that’s none of your busin\

the date went we\

are you awake?

your mind came up with a million things to say, but none of them felt right. it felt like all of them were attempts at sounding casual. you threw your phone into the passenger seat beside you, and you rolled your neck to try and relieve some of the tension. you let out a sigh and turned your keys in the ignition, letting your car come to life around you.

you pulled out from the parking lot and headed down the road trying to go home. you were positive you were trying to get home, you just took the wrong turn. 

then the wrong light.

then the wrong street.

your mind confused on where to go from the restaurant, you were sure of it. when you had the chance to go back the way you let the thought come and go, and you continued heading down the same road. you took another turn, you even waited at the red light with an unexplainable energy as you tapped the steering wheel. the tension in your neck was gone as you accepted where you were heading.

you knew you didn’t have the right to act confused when you finally turned down vernon’s road.

you let your head rest against the steering wheel when you parked across the street. each time the thought of leaving your car invaded your thoughts, you gently shook your head, feeling the worn leather of the steering wheel cover against the creases in your forehead.

“don’t do it.” you said to yourself.

you looked back at the house again, looking at the window to your daughter’s room. you knew that on the other side of the house you couldn’t see, was the window to the room you used to sleep in. you started thinking about vernon in that big bed by himself, drowning in the california king that was too large even for the two of you. you started thinking about if he thought of you before going to bed everyday, if he thought about you tonight and where you were going in your pretty dress. 

“don’t do it.” you repeated.

saying it a second time was unnecessary. you said it purely for effect, trying to seem like your better senses were trying to put up a fight. but you didn’t even finish your sentence by the time you were taking your keys from the ignition. 

you had already taken your first step out of the car when you repeated the phrase again. you cleared the road quickly, hearing your heels click on the paved road with each step. by the time you made it to the sidewalk you had accepted your fate. you were still weary, slowly making your way across the lawn to the stoop. 

when you made it to the small set of stairs you looked to the door in front of you. the last chance you had to go back in your car before you undid all of your hard work. you knew you were being recorded by the ring camera beside the door. you could simply lie if vernon ever brought it up. you could just say you considered coming to get your daughter before realizing how late it was. vernon most likely wouldn’t believe you, and you would most likely lie some more trying to tell a convincing story. but your gaze went from the ring camera to the potted plant that stood tall beside you. you looked even lower to the painted rocks that circled the bottom. you let the ring camera catch you crouch down to your heels. the same hand that drove you here picked out the discolored rock that felt hollow. 

you held the rock in your hand, feeling the three engraved letters side by side. you held it away from your shadow, letting the moon illuminate the letters. you laughed to yourself for a moment before bringing your other hand to it, feeling for the split in the middle. it was too easy to slide the fake rock open, and to grab the key to the front door out of it.

you stepped through the door, turning the knob so it closed quietly behind you. you took off your heels at the door, hanging your jacket on the coat rack. you felt like an intruder, walking through the house on the balls of your feet trying to be as stealthy as possible. you lurched past your daughters toys in the living room down the hallway to vernon’s room.

“don’t do it.” you said one more time putting your hand on the doorknob.

you pushed open the door to vernon’s room slowly. you cursed at the creaky hinges, only letting it fully open when you saw that vernon’s bed was empty. you looked around the dark room, eyebrows furrowed and confused. when you didn’t see the light from the bathroom you pulled away from the door. you turned around, looking at the pink door of your daughter’s room. you ran your hand over the paint, remembering the day you spent painting it together. she was insistent on putting BOYS NOT ALLOWED on the front until she realized that included her father. it was the same day you painted the rocks outside. memories flooding your mind made you gently push the door open, looking for that home you so desperately wanted, the home that didn’t change even though you left years ago.

when you silently opened the door, you saw your daughter take up a majority of the bed. her stretched limbs forced vernon’s body to balance on the edge. his arm was slung over the side, and he was so close to falling that his hand touched the ground. vernon was on his stomach and your daughter was on her back, both of their snores filled the room. even when the sounds were disturbing the stillness in the air you felt at peace. you felt that sense of belonging, and you felt the pang of missing something so dearly it nearly took your breath away. your own flesh and blood laid next to shared history that was so massive it had it’s own gravitational orbit. 

another revolution and your heart started speeding up. you could stay here for the rest of the night, leaned against the doorframe gushing over the sight in front of you. but vernon was pulling you towards him without even knowing it. you started feeling 

all of your steps towards vernon were careful, walking on the flat part of your foot to not cause the floorboards to creak. the good memories replaced the bad ones as you looked at how blissful they were asleep. you had your eyes trained on your sleeping daughter, making sure she didn’t open her eyes while you crouched close to vernon’s body.

another revolution. his eyelashes casted the tiniest shadow on his face, and he looked so serene in front of you. everything was so familiar, even the things you thought you would’ve forgotten came back to you. he pulled you in even closer. you reached your hand in the space between your chest and vernon’s shoulder with no hesitation. 

you were frozen when you felt your hand rest on his body. looking at vernon and his cheek pressed into the mattress and his mussed black hair. you hadn’t seen him like this in god knows how long. after you called things off, vernon put his stoic resolve back up. he put on a mask for you, a facade of furrowed eyebrows and emotionless stares. you had been deprived of vernon’s softness for so long you almost forgot it existed. now you crouched next to your ex beside the flower lamp on your daughters dresser resisting the urge to run a finger over his soft parted lips or his smooth skin. you almost didn’t want to wake vernon up, afraid that you would once again have the gentleness taken away from you. 

you didn’t know you could miss the view of someone you claimed to hate so much. 

something inside of you wanted vernon to know you saw him like this, unsullied in middle of the night just like when you were together. maybe he would even talk to you in that raspy voice he’d always get in the morning. maybe if you woke him up fast enough you would be able to experience the vernon you loved before his mind fully realized to make him robotic towards you again. so you applied force behind your hand, touching his shoulder completely before you let your hand fully cover the area.

you shook vernon gently at first. his body was limp underneath your hand, moving whichever way you applied force. you looked past vernon to your daughter, who had at some point moved to sleep like you. you drew in a breath, applying more pressure behind your hand trying to rouse him. 

finally he did something, letting out a sigh before shrugging your hand his shoulders.

“go back to sleep baby,” vernon swallowed and turned his head, facing away from you. “we can play zelda in the morning, i promise.” he mumbled.

even if his voice was barely audible, you still clenched your teeth in worry. your daughter was by no means a light sleeper, but all it could take is mentioning one of her favorite things to have her head shoot up in the middle of her sleep. vernon ignored you trying to wake him up again, and you had to lean in close to the back of his head.

“vernon,” you shook him a little harder “it’s me.” you whispered.

as if you yelled straight into his ear, vernon shot up from the bed. you were spooked, almost letting out a sound when he turned to you with wide eyes.

“what are you doing here?” he sounded lost as he looked around your daughters dark room. his eyes were wide as he tried taking in his surroundings. “is something wrong?” he asked.

“no i just.” you looked over vernon’s shoulder to look at your daughter. she was still snoring, but had turned to face her father. if she woke up now she would never go back to sleep. “i need to talk to you.” you whispered.

vernon blinked hard before looking at the flower-shaped clock hanging on the wall behind you. he squinted his eyes trying to make sure he was reading the time right. he rubbed them just to make sure he was really reading it right.

“at two in the morning?” he asked, voice still raspy.

in that moment you realized it was a mistake coming. nothing good as ever happened between you and vernon after midnight. but you also realized it was too late to go back, and a small voice in your brain already convinced you that you weren’t sleeping in your own bed tonight. so you nodded your head again as vernon carefully moved off the bed to not wake your daughter. 

vernon motioned for you to walk towards his room but he still led the way. he didn’t care to walk on his tiptoes or avoid the creaky parts of the floor as he rubbed his face. 

you looked back to your daughter once more before closing the door behind you. she moved to the center of the bed, taking up the little amount of space vernon was occupying. you slowly pulled the door closed until you heard it click behind you. when you turned back into the hallway you saw vernon past the opening in his door, looking at you through the space. he was no longer tired and he didn’t have his eyes squinted in confusion anymore. he held eye contact with you from his room, still as he watched your every movement. the living room was the neutral area between the two of you, the common meeting space. you didn’t know the last time you had seen vernon in his bedroom, or when you were extended the silent invitation to come in. 

the implications made your bare feet timid in the hallway, lingering behind each creak on the floorboards. you looked briefly down the hallway to the front door. the last bit of pride you had was on the other side. you knew vernon, if you left now he’d never mention this again. you coming to his house in the middle of the night would just be another story of something more you two ignored to avoid feelings. he walked towards you, and you took another step. his gravitational pull made you clear the hallway and the threshold of his room.

as if you had never been in the room before, you waited by the doorframe as vernon closed the door shut beside you. he gave you a second to collect your thoughts, leaning against the closed door as he looked down at you. you tried matching his calm, leaning against the wall until the light switch poked your back. when vernon crossed his arms you breathed in deeply.

“what are you doing here?” he asked quietly.

you didn’t have an answer. all you could do was cross your arms against your chest and avoid his gaze.

“i don’t know.” you answered just as quiet.

you could hear vernon let out a dry laugh from beside you. even in the darkness of his room you could make out the framed photo of you two that sat at his work desk. he followed your gaze and cleared his throat when he saw what you were looking at.

“did you enjoy your date?” vernon asked.

“that’s none of your business.” you quipped.

vernon pushed off of the door, and your eyes followed his back as he walked towards his bed.

“i’ll take that as a no.” he said quietly.

when he turned around to face you, you shrugged your shoulders.

“i’m seeing him again.” you lied.

the smug look on vernon’s face didn’t fade away as he crossed his arms to match you. you saw him lean against your former side the bed, head tilted as he caught onto your lie.

“oh i’m sure.” he said.

you felt the familiar rage blossom in your chest. suddenly you felt regret, reaching beside you for the doorknob.

“this was a mistake.” you seethe.

vernon is quick to move in front of you. you can’t even turn the doorknob completely before he clears the space, coming so close to you that you can smell him. he gets even closer and you’re forced to look up at him.

vernon moves his hand to clasp over yours on the doorknob. the warmth coaxes you to let go of the, and he brings his other hand to hold yours. you can already feel the heat across your cheeks, and you can see the blush dust across vernon’s face the longer he looks down at you.

you don’t know why he humors you even though you’re no longer together. you don’t know why you feel so shy like it’s the first time you two have ever been intimate. you don’t know why he takes his time teasing you, to let the tension build to the ceiling. you came to him in the middle of the night in a tight short dress after a failed date. he could’ve taken you in the hallway or bent over the couch in the living room. god knows you deserved it. but he was flirting with you, bringing his hand to brush underneath your chin to keep your head tilted up at him.

“you look so pretty tonight.” he said.

even though the words rolled off his tongue awkwardly from not being in this situation for so long, your mouth still goes dry. your hands reach across to grab onto the bottom of his white shirt. he smiles down at you and you hold the fabric a little tighter.

“you really don’t know why you’re here?” vernon asked again.

you silently shook your head, hoping he’d show you why. he looked at your lips before going back to your eyes. your hands went to his waist, desperate to hold onto something solid as he pressed his leg between yours. 

the movement made your dress ride up. you spread your legs even wider. the thought of him taking you right here flooded your mind. as if you didn’t know the person you used to claim as the love of your life you thought he was going to only give you relief in the form of his clothed thigh. as if he didn’t buy you this dress you thought he’d be careless with it, telling you to leave it on as you rutted your hips desperately on his leg. torturing you would’ve been better. removing emotions from this situation would’ve been better, if this just became a desperate fuck then you could just chalk it all up to being horny after a failed date. 

but vernon started caressing your face before he moved his hands gently behind you to pull down the zipper of your dress. he still remembered that he had to hold the fabric straight to get the zipper to work, and he pulled it down in one smooth motion. 

you got up from the wall to aid him, and you didn’t protest when the dress became loose on your skin. you only continued to look up at vernon, feeling your eyes become glassy as the fabric pooled to your feet.

“you still don’t know?” he asked quietly. 

vernon brought his fingers to run over the trim of your bra, letting out a sigh when you tilted your head back in approval. you didn’t have to answer vernon for him to know your response. he didn’t even have it in him to laugh. something was serious as he bent down to graze his lips on the ball of your shoulder. 

when vernon moved to your neck you brought your hands to his shoulder. you kept him there, letting your legs bend slightly to rest some of your weight on his leg. he was strong underneath you, the flexing muscle in his thigh made you want to grind against him. before you could move your hips, vernon worked his kisses up to your ear then completely pulled away.

“let’s go to the bed.” he said.

you complied immediately, making your way to your old side of the bed as vernon walked around to his. 

both of your stood next to the bed, staring at the other. you waited for his instruction, but vernon stared at you waiting for your next move. the authority made you swallow your nerves, and you reached behind you to undo the clasp on your bra. vernon watched you fully clothed on the other side, completely still as you moved to your underwear. vernon watched you push your underwear past your knees and lower, until you could step out of them. 

as you brought your arms to cross against your chest, vernon let you watch as he pulled his shirt over his head. you looked at his toned stomach, how he ran his hand down his body before getting to the waistband of his sweats. you moved from foot to foot, trying to not make it obvious how much of a mess you were already becoming. getting undressed slowly made it feel like the first time again, both of you trying to remember what your bodies looked like now. you no longer felt like the young adult you were when you first met him as vernon pulled down his sweats to reveal his white briefs. as he reached for the waistband he motioned to the bed, silently telling you to get on first.

you pressed your hands into the foam and crawled to vernon’s side. you sat back on your legs, perched and ready to listen. vernon grabbed your hand that was balled up at your sides, kissing your palm after spreading out your fingers. you wanted to press your hand into his toned stomach and travel down until you could squeeze him over the fabric of his underwear, but you let vernon kiss every single one of your knuckles as he kept burning eye contact with you. when he let your hand fall back to the bed he reached into the top drawer of the night stand. when your mind caught on you shifted on your knees.

“i’m not seeing anyone.” you said quickly.

“what about your date?” vernon asked.

you shook your head, hoping that vernon wouldn’t make you say it out loud. the smug smile that blossomed across his face was enough of a response. he moves towards the bed and you make space for him, scooting over until you’re in the middle of the bed.

“so no condom?” he asked.

vernon eyed you carefully as he put the foil packet back down on the bedside table. the option was staring at you both. he watched you shrug your shoulders and look away, focusing on fluffing his pillows. he sat back on his haunches the same time you went to lay on your side. 

vernon watched you in silence as you started getting comfortable. too much time has passed since he’s seen you like this, naked and getting ready for him. seeing the line of your body settle on his sheets makes vernon want to tell you how much he changed. how he’s not the same twenty-year old who broke your heart by hiding his feelings. he wants to tell you that he’s a responsible adult now, and that his therapist tells him every session he’s making real progress. 

when you settle onto the mattress you turn to face him. vernon notices how you fail to hold eye contact with him longer than a second before turning away. your hand that was rubbing up and down your body goes to fraying thread on the sheets, and your eyes dart away to focus on the wall behind vernon.

“hurry before i change my mind.” you were anything but convincing. your words had no bite as you patiently waited for vernon to fall into his place beside you. “you should be thanking me. god knows when’s the last time you had sex.” you said.

even if you tried to seem threatening, vernon saw your body seize in anticipation when he shifted on the bed. he took his time, going to his back first to fully take off his underwear. he enjoyed seeing you trying to take quick peaks over your shoulder to look at his bare body and hearing your nails scratch the sheets to try and collect yourself. 

vernon put his hand on the side of your knee when he shifted his body again. he ran his hands up slowly, his touch light as a feather to try and make goosebumps erupt across your skin. he scooted his body closer to yours, his arm that was between his body and the mattress fell into place underneath your neck. 

the two of you went into your old routine, muscle memory of your past together in bed guided your movements. you both told yourselves your bodies were acting on their own accord. that was the excuse echoing around in both of your heads as you scooted your body back to meet vernon’s and why he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. you gasped from the feeling, and suddenly the familiarity between you two filled the room. the closeness of your bodies was nearly blinding, you put your hand over vernon’s that had found it’s place on your ass. 

vernon foolishly thought that this position would protect him, that not being able to see your face would help him have emotionless sex with you. but feeling your fingers seamlessly intertwine with his made his heart pound against your back. each time he tried to slightly pull back you only followed him, chasing after the warmth of him against you. 

he thought fast to distract you from his heart thudding in its cage before you could point it out. he reluctantly separated his hand from yours to lift your leg, making it come over his. the change made you lean forward to put your hand on the mattress to stabilize yourself. vernon leaned forward, and bringing his arm that was under your neck to hold your chest to bring you close.

“the last time i had sex?” when your leg was locked over vernon’s he made quick work of you. ignoring everything else he used his free hand to reach between your legs. before he could even make contact, you preened your ass backwards, making a sound of embarrassment at how wet you were. “it was when i came over to put our daughter’s dollhouse together, remember?” he whispered.

vernon let the memories flood over you as both of your bodies shivered. it was months ago, you needed help putting together the dollhouse you got your baby for christmas. you were ever much of the handyman, and vernon wanted an excuse to come over to your new place. so while she was at daycare vernon was invited over, and just like now one thing led to another until you were on top of him. 

he remembers trying to kiss your knees that were bruised from being pressed to the ground and you told him to go away. he also remembers after the fact you used the excuse that you were lonely due to the holiday season. but now it was summer and you were moaning for him like you always used to. when vernon pressed his lips to the side of your face you didn’t tell him to go away, you only turned your head to give him better access.

“you said you hated me then.” vernon said.

vernon pushed two fingers into your heat and a satisfied smile spread across his face when your lips parted. he sees you nod your head, trying to form a coherent sentence.

“i do.” you respond.

you can barely get through your sentence without your voice pitching upwards. vernon feels you attempt to push your hips back to meet hie fingers. 

“you still hate me?” vernon slips in a third finger to try and change your mind. “after all this time?” he asks.

“i do.” you say, shaking your head.

vernon takes your mixed signals as a sign he’s doing something right. maybe by the third time you come to him like this he will get you to say no, maybe even have you initiate the kissing first. he uses it as motivation to keep pumping his fingers into your heat, and bringing you closer by the hand that’s on your chest. 

when you try wedging your hand between your bodies to find vernon’s dick, he moves out of the way. he shakes his head in the crook of your neck. he imagines the look of frustration on your face, the one that’s seared into the back of his eyelids as he lifts your leg further. you fall forward once again from the new angle and vernon lets you. 

“fuck me please, vernon.” you whine into the sheets. 

you use the rest of your strength to push your body back to its side and you moved vernon’s hand down to your chest. he can feel your heart jumping in its cage as you continue whining for him. his chest swells when he feels your desperate hand reach down again to grab his dick. he lets you and looks down to guide his dick to your hand. 

when you hold him it’s his turn to whine. he forgot what it was like to be touched by you that he has half a mind to ask you to just jerk him off. he wants to see if you’ll. get that same desperate look in your eye as your hand speeds up. maybe he’ll turn you around, just so he can see your eyes blow out with lust as he finishes all over your fist. but just like always does he keeps his thoughts to himself and lets you decide what you want. when you pull his fingers out of your hole he leans forward, letting his hard dick press against your ass.

both of you are so desperate your movements become rushed. vernon ruts his dick into your ass from the haste, and you clench your hand around his tip. you have to take a second to regain your composure before you pump his dick again. he thinks you’re doing it just to hear him sigh contently and feel him impatiently rut into your hand. you continue to do it, letting the slick sounds of his precum between your hands fill the room until his sighs turn to quiet whines. 

“turn around.” vernon kisses your shoulder, pressing his lips into your skin to muffle his words “look at me.” he begs.

you ignore him, even though you both know you can hear him. you both know that the spooning position you’re in currently is too intimate for people who claim to hate eachother. you both know that eye contact is dangerous, that it would only bring back feelings you both put so much energy into denying. so vernon lets you ignore him and plays off his pleads by lightly biting your skin. you moan from the pain that lights your body like a fire, and vernon puts his hand over yours to guide his dick the rest of the way.

“ready?” vernon asks.

vernon says it just as quiet as his previous plead. when you nod and whimper out a yes he feels his heart drop. he knows it was an act of self preservation, but he wished to see your face. he had to settle for his imagination and your sounds when he pushed his tip past your entrance, pushing every inch inside you you until his hips kissed yours. you sucked him in and kept his dick in place, fitting around him like a glove. there was no better feeling in the world, nothing tasted better than the salt from your skin that stayed on vernon’s lips. he put his hand on your ass to spread you out enough to draw his hips back. he heard you fist the sheets and he felt you grab his hand on your chest to steady yourself. he slid back in just as slow, cursing each time your walls seized around him. 

it had been too long. vernon was actively abandoning all of his instincts feeling you around him. he felt himself caring less and less about not wearing a condom the closer he got.

“i’m gonna cum if you keep clenching around me like that” he grunted into your shoulder.

vernon moved his hand on your ass to press his hand deep into your lower stomach, causing you to push your hips further back. he swore he could feel himself inside of your stomach, and the sound that ripped from your throat made him believe you felt it too. the new angle let vernon push his hips further into you. you could no longer hold your head upright as you let it fall into the pillows to muffle your sounds. even now you held back, trying to keep some shred of your dignity.

vernon lifted his head to try and look down at you. he could see your eyes closed from the pleasure, and the thin layer of sweat that glistened across your face. the tiny beads and your supple skin caught in the moonlight. 

vernon bent down to kiss your cheek, trying to entice you to turn your head again. for the second time, he could tell you were ignoring him. he forgot what you were trying to protect yourself from as he felt your walls seize around him again. it was getting sporadic, and your breaths were turning into quick huffs. when your hand tightened over his vernon used his leg to raise yours even more. his hand on your stomach found your clit quickly, rubbing circles that complimented his thrusting. you finally turned your head from the mattress, you even turned a little further to look vernon in the eyes.

“i’m so close, sol.” you whispered.

vernon saw you close your eyes and catch your bottom lip between your teeth, another telltale sign of you trying to focus. you dragged his hand that gripped your chest to your neck. you looked down at you trying so desperately to take the tenderness from this moment. if vernon squeezed his hand around your neck like you wanted, it would be easy for you both to claim this was simply just a horny mistake, a borderline hate-fuck. he made that mistake the first time, hand around your neck as he told you how much he hated you. he looked into your eyes when he said it, trying to revel in the way your eyes flashed in pain between the moments of bliss. he didn’t mean it then but he definitely didn’t mean it now—like he said before he has changed. 

so instead of pressing his fingers into the veins on the side of your neck he traveled up to your chin, turning your head so you were forced to look at him. you were shocked, eyes so wide and your face so close to his vernon could see himself in the reflection of your pupils. he placed a kiss right on your lips, not pulling back until he felt your lips move against his. he sees himself in your eyes again, and he sees his spit glistening on your lips. he feels himself inside of you, and he feels your warmth cover his entire being.

“i think i was made for you.” 

vernon meant to say it quietly just for himself as a silent realization, but the way you nod makes him believe it to be true. vernon feels you get your strength back as you push your hips backwards to meet his hard and deep thrusts.

“you still are.” you moaned.

he tells himself that you are just talking to fill the void of silence. vernon also tells himself that you can’t bring yourself to ignore him for the third time this night when you’re looking him right in eyes. regardless, vernon can also feel himself getting closer as you clench repeatedly around his twitching dick.

“oh my god.” you moan.

vernon pulls your body closer when he feels you shudder against him. you start driving your hips back without rhythm, trying anything you can to keep the stimulation going. vernon still looks down at you as you cum, and he smiles at the irony of you trying so hard to keep eye contact. you give into closing your eyes when he slips a finger into your mouth, and he can feel the vibration of your moans around his digit. 

when you start getting weaker, and settling into vernon’s hold he pulls his hand from your clit to pull out. when you open your eyes again they’re glassy. they’re no longer half lidded as you grab vernon’s wrist, stopping him from pulling out.

both of you look down at your hand. you look almost as shocked as vernon, like something came over you to stop him from pulling out. vernon takes it in stride, pushing back into you with a force that has you moaning around his finger. you turns your head even further to face him. he kisses the apple of your cheek and then your lips, smiling against your pout.

“you want another baby?” vernon moved down from your cheek to your jaw. “you really wouldn’t be able to get rid of me then.” he whispered once he made it to your ear.

before you could say anything back, vernon latched onto the skin right below your ear, sucking and pressing his teeth in the area below your jaw. the stimulation made your lower half sink further down onto the mattress, until you were relying fully on vernon’s strength to keep your body up. memories flood back to vernon, but the way he still remembers how you sound and respond to everything makes him think he never forgot in the first place. both of your bodies move simultaneously, when he pulls away from your neck you tilt your head to give him access to the other side. you preen your neck towards him, whimpering quietly when he lingers above the spot.

“oh my god.” you start shaking and vernon feels your nails dig into his skin. “too much.” you whimper.

vernon turns your head back around to press let his face rest against yours. you still suck around his fingers, and he can feel you turn your head to kiss whatever parts of his face you can reach. you still clamp around him, your cum adds to the lewd sounds that fill the room.

“can i cum inside?” vernon asks.

vernon closes his eyes and focuses on everything about you. he hold back until he feels your head nod against his.

“please.” you bring your hand behind you to run through his hair. “i miss you so much” you whimper around his fingers.

“i miss you more.” vernon whispers.

he doesn’t hold back anymore as he empties into you. he turns to the crook of your neck, sucking harshly at your skin to relieve even more of the tension. when his hips still you take the lead, plating your hand onto the mattress to give your hips more stability. vernon grips your ass, kneading the flesh desperately to try and ground himself. he pulls away from your skin to whimper into your ear. 

you two can no longer speak, only communicating through the hushed sounds of euphoria. vernon brings both of his hands to wrap around you, bringing your body as close to his as possible. you can no longer push your hips back from the new angle and that’s exactly what vernon wants. he forces you both to stay still, to feel all of it—the way his dick pulses inside of you as he cums deep inside of you. even when vernon gives you all he has, you both stay in that position. you both settle deeper into the bed, catching your breath as your skin doesn’t break contact. 

neither of you want to be the first to speak or to force the other one to come back to reality. so you two remain silent as vernon pulls out. you don’t say a word when vernon turns your body around to face him, or when he pulls the covers over your sweaty bodies. he returns the favor by saying nothing when your nestle into his chest and you guide his arm to wrap around your body. 

if you liked this story and would like to support me further here is my ko-fi :)

[aventurineswife]

OH sure!! If you'd like <3 but no pressure ! 💕 I just think the chat you made was very adorable but also funny KWDHJSJW ❤️ but if you write it, then make sure to tag me 👁️💕

Lean Down, Lift Up

Summary: In the quiet observation car of the Astral Express, you share an intimate moment with Sunday, encouraging him to set aside his reflective worries. As his ethereal presence softens in your touch, a simple kiss bridges the gap between his celestial grace and his humanity, reminding him of the solace found in love.

Tags: @vivisboutique, @iruiji, @timascorner, @flavishly, Sunday x Reader, Established Relationship, Fluff, Tender Moments, Height Difference, Soft Sunday, Vulnerability, Introspection.

A/N: help why did Fallen Angel by Chris Grey started playing...🧍‍♀️ (Lmao listening to fantastic and got reminded of that one CaitVi(from Arcane) scene ahem... 🫣) enjoy btw! This man needs to get out of my head, he's living rent free here... 🤺

The Astral Express hummed gently beneath your feet, its steady rhythm lulling the silence between you and Sunday. The observation car was empty at this hour, the vast expanse of stars beyond the glass stretching into infinity. You glanced up at him, his ethereal presence lit by the soft glow of the cosmos. His halo shimmered faintly, golden light catching in his hair as he gazed at the stars, lost in thought.

Sunday’s tall frame cast a serene shadow, his wings folded neatly behind him. You smiled softly, appreciating the way his composed demeanor betrayed his subtle vulnerability. His eyes, so often reflective and distant, turned to meet yours. The navy pupils seemed to flicker like a calm sea under starlight.

“Is something on your mind?” he asked, his voice gentle, airy, and tinged with genuine curiosity.

You shook your head, stepping closer to him. “Not exactly. I just… thought you looked too serious.”

Sunday’s lips curved into a faint smile, though there was a hint of weariness in his expression. “It’s hard not to be, with so much to think about.”

“Well,” you said, tugging lightly on his gloved hand, “maybe you need a break from all that thinking.”

He arched an elegant brow but allowed you to pull him down slightly toward your level. “A break, you say? And how do you propose I take one?”

“Like this,” you whispered, leaning up on your toes. You placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips, the faint scent of sandalwood and starlight enveloping you as his wings twitched slightly in surprise. His halo flickered, golden light brightening briefly before stabilizing.

For a moment, Sunday froze, as if caught off guard. Then his hand rested gently on the back of your head, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. When you pulled away, his eyes softened, and a flush of warmth crept across his usually composed face.

“You could’ve just asked,” he murmured, his voice quieter than usual, tinged with a rare, boyish shyness.

“Well, where’s the fun in that?” you teased, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “Besides, you’re so tall, I had to make you lean down first.”

Sunday chuckled—a low, melodic sound that you rarely heard. “You always manage to surprise me,” he admitted, his hand lingering on yours as he spoke. “Even after all this time.”

You felt your heart swell at the rare vulnerability he allowed himself to show. Sunday often seemed untouchable, an ethereal being burdened by the weight of his ideals. But in these quiet moments, he was just a man—one who loved and was loved in return.

“I’ll keep surprising you then,” you said softly, pressing your forehead to his. “As long as you promise to take more breaks like this.”

His wings fluttered faintly, a telltale sign of his amusement and affection. “I suppose I don’t have much choice, do I?”

“Nope,” you replied, grinning up at him. “Not when you’re stuck with me.”

Sunday’s smile widened slightly, a flicker of peace crossing his features. “Then I’ll consider myself lucky,” he said, his voice filled with a quiet reverence that made your chest tighten.

The stars continued to stretch endlessly before you, but in that moment, the universe felt small—a little brighter, a little warmer, with Sunday by your side.

[iasirene]

I really hate how some Mouthwashing fans think that if you point out Curly’s abuse by Jimmy that it somehow justifies what he did to Anya. It doesn’t, not at all. Curly is smart, physically strong, and attractive- but even people like this can be pulled into an abusive dynamic. Jimmy and Curly have a narcissist/narcissistic enabler type of relationship, where Jimmy is the narcissist and Curly is his enabler. Jimmy causes direct harm (his sexual assault of Anya, crashing the ship, and his treatment of everyone on board.) Curly also causes harm by enabling his friend. Jimmy says “you always had my back”, but he also says “I ended up hurting you even though I was trying to save us." This line is a great example of Jimmy’s narcissistic abuse towards Curly-“yeah I hurt you, treated you like shit, BUT…..” Even in the end, Jimmy doesn’t want to take responsibility. These lines suggest that these two have known each other for a while.

Curly dismisses Jimmy’s sexually charged comments towards Anya during the psych evals by laughing it off and saying “he won’t try that bullshit with me! Don’t worry, I’ll get him off your hands”. Anya is happy after he says this, she lets herself trust Curly to put his foot down around his weirdo friend. However, after Anya tells him about the pregnancy, he simply says that he knows Jimmy, that he’ll “talk to him” and that he will “fix things.” Yes Curly apologists- he DOES side with his friend, not in a “hahah nice going Jimmy, Anya’s so hot!” way, but because he wants to avoid conflict. By wanting to avoid that conflict, he leaves Anya and his crew behind. The crew that he was supposed to protect as the captain. Curly does not take Jimmy “out of her hands” like he promised before her assault. Curly is simultaneously victim and perpetrator. Although his actions lack a deliberate malice, his enabling and protection of Jimmy throughout their friendship is ultimately the catalyst for what happens in the game. There is a reason why we only play as Curly and Jimmy- and we don’t play as Anya, Daisuke, or Swansea. However, Curly feels guilt for his actions and the role he played in the events that unfolded on board the Tulpar. “He joined because of me you know.” “We are defined by our past, but not slaves to it.” Unlike Jimmy, Curly is introspective, and is able to feel remorse for what he’s done. He is not an irredeemable monster like Jimmy, but he is also not the “Great Captain Curly” either. He’s a flawed human being living in a world that rewards complacency, service to capital, and cruelty.

[once-upon-an-animation]

I’m still working my way through Wrath, but I think one thing that continues to irritate me about the way Rick writes Percabeth is that it’s always being re-iterated to us that Percy feels insecure/inadequate regarding his role in this relationship, but we don’t usually see Annabeth worry this much about whether she’s ‘good enough’ for Percy.

On the one hand, you could probably say that it’s her pride that prevents her from worrying…….but I also don’t buy that because Annabeth has been demonstrated to ruminate over her relationships with others and whether they’re going to last. But we’ve never seen her worry about whether she is doing enough to ‘serve’ the relationship; it’s always about what the other person is doing.

I think why this annoys me in particular is because it feels like more missed opportunities for Annabeth to finally tackle her fatal flaw (hubris/pride), learn what it means to actually do some meaningful introspection/self-reflection (a very important part of being a truly wise individual), and make more meaningful demonstrations of humility. I’m not saying she needs to hate herself or anything, but if I can be honest, self-hatred is NOT the definition of humility and it’s disingenuous to treat it as such (for all you people who are inevitably going to complain about “omg11!1!!1 Suggesting that a female character should show humility!!?!?? How sexist!!!1!!1!).

Humility and introspection are important parts of being wise because despite your unwillingness to admit this, sometimes your problems are not always caused by others and/or external factors. Sometimes, your problems are in fact your own fault, or at the very least, some of your behaviors are exacerbating the problem. Sometimes, you’re not doing the best that you could be doing in a relationship, or there are some behaviors that learning/unlearning would benefit the relationship a lot. And it demonstrates a lot of courage and maturity to be able to admit that about yourself.

I bring this up in relation to Percabeth, because I’m a little tired of reading about how Percy always worries about his inadequacies in the relationship, but we never see Annabeth question herself about whether she’s being the best girlfriend she could possibly be. We don’t see any examples of Percy making a new friend who seemingly acts like/questions whether Annabeth is a good match for him. It makes the dynamics of the relationship feel unbalanced, like the responsibility is solely on Percy to service the relationship; Percy does most of the giving, and Annabeth does most of the taking.

When was the last time Annabeth sacrificed something that she wanted to do/say to make Percy happy, the way he often does for her sake? When was the last time that Percy’s traumas and emotional struggles were given front and center spotlight in a conversation of theirs? When was the last time that Annabeth realized that there was something she was doing wrong that was maybe hurtful to Percy, and maybe she should change that behavior? Why is the onus always on Percy to pull it together for the relationship, when his girlfriend has ways in which she could grow too? Why does it often feel like Percy is expected to do most of the emotional legwork?

[veritasss5]

Yes or no | pick a card.

Disclaimer: this is a GENERAL READING, take what it resonates and leave behind what doesn’t. This is for fun and should never be taken seriously. This is for entertainment purposes. It is just for helping you to have a general idea about your situation. If it does help you fine I am very happy about it, if not then I am sorry that it wasn’t for you and move on.

Take a moment to relax your mind and choose with your intuition.

For other pacs click here!

Pile 1 → Pile 2 → Pile 3

Pile 4 → Pile 5 → Pile 6

Pile one

The answer: No. I sensed blockages and challenges. I saw big thunder and after that big thunder storm.

This pile’s energy has struggles to sort out.

Why this answer?

I think you are not ready yet. Stand by for now and watch the situation and see how it will unfold. Pay attention to little details and don’t overlook some details.

You need to exercise patience and know how to strike at the right moment. Don’t do things impulsively and know how to differentiate between impulsive and intuition.

You don’t need any sort of action. You need to work introspectively and look at what you are missing. Search for the key that will open the door.

Observe everything neutrally and ask yourself with honesty and logic (putting aside your personal feelings) what is the right thing to do that may benefit you the most.

Distance yourself from situations that are affecting you mentally that are obfuscating your neutral views. The truth may or may not hurt you depending on how you will take it.

Keywords: patience, neutrality, observer, logical, telescope, fox, moon, wait.

Pile two

The answer: Yes. I saw the sun smiling and very warm energy around you. This pile’s energy is welcoming and sweet.

Why this answer?

I sensed you are happy. If you are not now, soon you will be happy, literally living the best life with a big smile on your face.

I see you are healing or healed from a wound that was affecting you for a while. You probably reconciled with someone, or you will soon.

You are connected with everything, from nature to the sky, and the whole universe is helping you to become happy again.

You forgive yourself and you are allowing things to go with the flow without asking how or when. This is important pile two, if your question is involving some actions, release your worries about when and how. If things will work out for you then it will, if not, surely there is something better for you.

Never lose hope, because you do have a place in this big world. If you feel the outsider of the group in general, appreciate your diversity and originality. You have something that other people don’t have!

Cherish everything about you. The more you are in tune with you and the universe (or life in general), the more things will come for you and many blessings to experience.

Keywords: release, healing, say goodbye to the old, connection, positivity, flow, universe, mending.

Pile three

The answer: No. I see fights at home and big arguments with family. Your energy can be described as “electric”.

Why this answer?

I think there is a hope for you. I saw stars and I get this feeling that everything will be sorted out sooner or later.

I think you need to rest for a while because you are too worked up in your emotions. Your emotions now are unstable and a few of you can be in an emotional mess. Choosing something while being in emotional instability is not recommendable. Connect with yourself again without outside influences and try to reflect on what you actually need.

Step away and rest. Literally take a nap and rest if you are in a very stressful situation and lately you can’t get any good sleep

Allow yourself to remember your initial goals and dreams. Ask yourself if you are on the right path right now. Also set yourself free from burdens for a moment. You are blocking your true potential and abilities by stressing and burdening yourself with responsibilities. Your struggles will end soon, but just allow yourself to breath now.

Keywords: stand by, rest, dreams, moon, detachment, momentarily freedom, reflect, silence, temporal non action

Pile four

The answer: Yes. Your energy is like flowers or perfume that is based with flowers and smells powdery. Pretty neutral energy.

Why this answer?

You may have issues at home but you don’t seem to weigh on your mind so much. I saw you dancing in a garden surrounded by flowers.

The answer is pretty interesting to me. A card about chaos and conflict came to me while the answer of your question is “yes”. For me it means that regardless of your struggles, you can overcome them with a smile and let yourself literally “dance among the flowers” no matter how big or small the problems are. You are someone pretty strong that can face everything when you recollect yourself and keep your mind cool and neutral to the situation.

“You can eat this!” this is the phrase I heard for you. It has the possibility to mean you can do pile four.

Face the issues and challenge yourself to see how far you can be strong. Show that you are worthy of your prize no matter what the chaos or challenge you have in front of you.

I see you winning this whatever the situation or question you asked for.

Keywords: peace in your mind, chaos before arriving to peace, strength, blue, white flowers, sand, giraffe, inside your world, reward

Pile five

The answer: Yes. Some of you may cry for a loss, but you are also near for your new beginning. I also heard the words “let go”.

Why this answer?

You are tapping into your power here. Whatever you desire will just come to you sooner or later by persisting on your faith to bring your desire or goal into reality.

You are literally almost chasing the moon, you are near there but still also some things to settle up before reaching the moon.

You will be guided there to this place where you can express your desire and it will become true (analogy there).

Your ideas are clear and take advantage of this time to purge out everything that you need. You will end a period or era of your life and bring a new chapter for yourself. Don’t be sad for ending some stuff, be happy that you will receive a totally new experience and new lifestyle. The price is just throwing the old into the trash can.

If you are living a dark period of life, this is the right sign that good things will happen to you soon, don’t lose your hope.

Keywords: blue sky, light, stairs, guided to the right path, protected, almost finished to chase the moon, sadness

Pile six

The answer: No. You have other stuff to focus and deal with. Don’t bring new things, projects or ideas until you finish to deal with your problems.

Why this answer?

Before reaching the ultimate goal, first you can’t burn small steps in order to get to your goals faster.

Doing things faster or ignoring small steps is wrong and you are underestimating the reason why first you should definitely resolve your actual life matters that are going on.

Things came to let you be prepared for something bigger. Without knowing the basics, you will never be ready to handle something bigger that requires your skills.

Don’t burn or sweep under the rug your problems. Deal with them and take responsibility and do your best now. Be strong, because you can be strong. And persist while resolving what you need to resolve. You will have your reward or what you desire the most, don’t worry about that.

But just don’t take shortcuts.

Keywords: cheetah, problem solving, act strong and fast when you find the solution, strive for the best, strength and hope, go the distance

[catmarlowastrology]

Transit Jupiter in Gemini for all Rising signs

🗣️ Aries Rising: Jupiter in Gemini is transiting your 3rd house of learning from your environment. Love a bit of gossip? You’re in luck. This transit will flood your life with juicy tidbits about everyone around you. Expect to bump into old acquaintances, or receive bizarre 3am DMs from friends spilling all sorts of tea. Invitations to go out and socialize will be pouring in, so get ready to play social butterfly. You’ll uncover all sorts of secrets about the people who share your daily grind. Have a crush on that cutie you pass every day on your commute? Now's the perfect time to strike up a conversation. In fact, you might want to chat up anyone you fancy building a relationship with, be it platonic or romantic. Networking is your best friend during this transit, and meeting new people on apps could lead to some exciting connections. Basically, this is your golden opportunity to dive headfirst into your social scene and make some memorable connections.

💸 Taurus Rising: Jupiter in Gemini is transiting your 2nd house of finances and possessions. This transit can be tricky sometimes. On the bright side, you might suddenly find people falling over themselves to offer you investment opportunities (assuming you roll in those circles). Your friends and family could also be all over you, urging you to turn your hobbies into cash cows. And it's actually a great time to do just that and rake in some extra dough. Perfect moment to start that Etsy store you've been daydreaming about. But make sure to gather all the info you need and politely ignore the unsolicited advice from people who couldn’t tell a stock from a sock. With Gemini’s influence, money can appear in your bank account quickly but vanish just as fast. Watch out for the shopaholic bug. The temptation to splurge will be strong, with endless cool experiences and shiny things calling your name. Keep a level head and focus on a few key purchases instead of buying everything that catches your eye.

🔍 Gemini Rising: Jupiter is transiting your 1st house. Expect countless opportunities to learn about yourself and grow wiser. If you've been feeling a bit adrift, now’s the time to dive into therapy sessions or binge on self-help books to boost your self-awareness and finally get comfy in your own skin. This transit is also the perfect excuse to play dress-up with your life, trying on different personas and styles to see what fits. You're in a self-discovery phase, and relationships will act like funhouse mirrors, reflecting who you are, who you aren't, and who you want to become (thanks to Jupiter opposing your 7th house). But don't worry, this isn't some grueling self-help marathon (we’re not dealing with a Saturn transit). It's a fun, enlightening chapter where you learn more about yourself and enjoy every minute of it.

🌜 Cancer Rising: Jupiter will be transiting your 12th house in Gemini. This house is introspective, personal, subjective, and takes place mostly in the hidden depths of your psyche. Expect a lot of overthinking, more than usual, to the point where your brain might just pack up and leave. If you have planets in the 12th house, external events might trigger this mental marathon. But if that house is empty, you’re left with your own thoughts. You'll reminisce, ponder, and lose sleep over things that probably don’t matter to anyone else but you. Now is the perfect time to start writing down your dreams and thoughts. Get them out of your head and onto paper, so you can analyze them and maybe even laugh at how absurd some of them are. Therapy is also a great idea during this transit. You'll learn a lot about your subconscious, but brace yourself: it’s going to be mentally exhausting.

🌍 Leo Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 11th house. Get ready, because your social circle is about to explode. Unlike Aries Rising, who are busy making friends at the local coffee shop, you’re going global. The world is your oyster, and it’s about to serve you a platter of new acquaintances from every corner of the globe. This is the perfect time to join groups and communities where you can share your interests. If you're into social media, now's the time to take it seriously. Get out there, mingle, and talk to as many people as you can. This is your moment to enjoy your time with strangers and make new friends from all walks of life.

🎭 Virgo Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 10th house. Buckle up Virgo Rising because your reputation and public accomplishments are about to get a serious boost. Jupiter in Gemini loves multitasking, so get ready to juggle new opportunities like a circus performer on caffeine. There's a fun twist here: you won't just be known for one thing, but for multiple things. Thinking about a new career path? Now’s the perfect time to dip your toe in, while still keeping one foot firmly planted in your old job. Who said you can’t have it all? Whatever happens, your reputation is set to expand. You'll be known as the multitasking marvel who can do it all. You might also become famous in your field for your expansive contact list and your knack for connecting people. Embrace the chaos and show off those multiple skills you've been hiding up your sleeve.

🎓 Libra Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 9th house. This house is all about stretching your horizons and either confirming or totally overhauling your belief system. Brace yourself because this could be the transit that crams your brain with so many new interests that your poor computer gives up and crashes under the weight of all those tabs you’ve got open. Maybe you'll even consider international travel, hopping from one far-flung place to another, just to soak up their vastly different lifestyles and beliefs. If Venus is in this house, people who think completely unlike you might just be the ones to trigger your personal growth and expansive worldview. This transit is the perfect excuse to sign up for every course under the sun, or maybe even drag yourself back to university if that was on your vision board. Let your heart run wild with as many academic endeavors as it pleases.

💥 Scorpio Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 8th house. This house is the realm of losing control. Maybe you're itching to explore your sexuality? Maybe you're thinking about juggling multiple partners? Whatever wild ride you're on, you'll come out wiser. Gemini loves options and spreading knowledge like confetti, so expect to learn some jaw-dropping truths about yourself and others, especially if Mercury is in this house. If you're the sharing type, brace yourself for a crash course in joint finances. You might discover that your partner has a secret stash of cash they’re funneling into some mysterious hobby. But don't worry, it's Jupiter delivering the news, so it's more of a "well, that's interesting" revelation rather than a life-shattering bombshell (we'll leave that to Uranus, Pluto, or Saturn). Expect to dive into topics that most people run away from. It's all about growth with Jupiter. You’ll emerge from this transit not emotionally wrecked, but definitely a whole lot wiser.

💑 Sagittarius Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 7th house. Your 7th house is the VIP lounge for getting to know people on a deep, meaningful level. It's not your usual gossip fest like in the 11th house where everyone’s spilling tea. No, this is more like spending a day meandering with someone and talking their ear off. But, since we're dealing with Gemini here, your attention isn't glued to just one special someone. Nope, you've got at least two people vying for your attention. And it's not all about romance, either. Platonic relationships get a spotlight too. Your closest friends live here. Business contracts too. If you work with clients and close deals, brace yourself for a flood of new business. If you're in a relationship, keep an eye out for someone new who might turn your head and tempt you into some extracurricular activities — especially if Venus is in this house. Being an angular house, this transit is a big deal.

📅 Capricorn Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 6th house. Capricorn, you love it when life is a neat little package. With Jupiter transiting your 6th house in Gemini, you're suddenly all about efficiency and streamlining every aspect of your existence. This transit has you scheduling your life down to the millisecond, convinced that you can overhaul everything at once. So, naturally, you decide it's the perfect time to dive into yoga, Pilates, and kickboxing — all at the same time. Not stopping there, you become a culinary genius, mastering healthy meals like a gourmet chef. And why not throw in some home improvement classes, despite having zero DIY skills? You’re superhuman. At work, you’ve set your sights on the “Employee of the Month” title and are ready to work yourself to the bone to get it. It’s a lot to juggle for one person. The upside of this transit is that you’ll learn a ton about self-improvement. But you're not a robot — don't push it too far.

🎉 Aquarius Rising: Jupiter in Gemini will transit your 5th house. Aquarius, this transit is all about fun! With Jupiter transiting your 5th house, you'll be knee-deep in what makes you happy. You'll discover new hobbies, attend countless cool parties, and go on so many hot dates you'll lose count. The universe is basically Santa Claus, throwing a bunch of exciting opportunities at your feet to make you fall in love with life all over again. If expanding your family is on the agenda, this is the golden moment, especially if your Moon or Sun is in this house. Enjoy!

🏡 Pisces Rising: Jupiter will transit your 4th house. This is the perfect time to connect (or reconnect) with your family and roots. Expect sudden DMs from relatives you haven’t seen since forever popping up in your inbox. You might get an itch to discover your origins and splurge on a DNA test. Learning about your family’s past and culture is the theme of this transit. Thinking about buying a home or moving out? Now’s your chance, as the universe will throw a bunch of cool offers your way. During this transit, you might also suddenly become obsessed with home decor, trying out different styles and buying furniture that either goes wonderfully together... or creates a total eyesore. But the beauty of this transit is that you’ll end up wiser and more knowledgeable. By the end of it, you might just become the local guru on home styling. Who knows? Maybe you'll even be able to tell a chaise from a chesterfield.

[notjustjavierpena]

4AM (Drabble)

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: A little peek into Hubby’s mind. I’m working on a longer piece but here’s a taste for the starving.

Summary: Javier reflects on fatherhood while comforting his son.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no y/n)

Tags: Domestic, Javier loves his family, Javi POV, life with a tiny baby!!

Word count: 1.5k

4AM

It’s like clockwork when Lucas’ cries start echoing through the hallway in the early hours. Four in the morning and no sooner or later. You could set an alarm to wake you up at this point but each time there’s the slightest hope that it’s going to be at five the next time. 

You wake first. A moment later, you hear Javier wake up beside you with a sharp intake of air. He rubs his eyes with his thumb and index finger, “Whose turn is it?”

“It’s four a.m. He’s probably hungry,” you say with a groan and try desperately not to let your eyes close for too long, “Jesus, I’m tired.”

Lucas sounds desperate with how he sobs, hiccupping unhappily at not feeling either of you close yet. You feel bad for not having left your bed already, reaching for the covers to throw them to the side. Javier looks like he is just about to turn onto his other side but he sits up instead, “Let me. You just go back to sleep, baby. I’ll heat a bottle or bring him here if he’s hungry.”

He swings his legs out over the side of the bed, his movements slow with the kind of sleepiness that only comes from not waking up by oneself but rather being woken up by something or someone. 

“Javi,” you try to protest. 

“I mean it. Go back to sleep,” he stands up with a small noise, shuffling out of the room and down the hallway to avoid more protests from you. He works so much and you stay here with his infant son all day; it’s the least he can do. Plus, he wants to get all the quality time with his baby boy that he can, even when he’s miserable from sleep deprivation.

He stops and takes a deep breath right before pushing the door to Lucas’ nursery fully open. There’s a soft glow from the night light by the bed, a lamp shaped like a half-moon that shines a golden yellow over the crib to soothe. 

“Hola, mi amor (hello, my love),” he says when he leans over the side of the crib to look down at his wailing son. Lucas’ hair is dark and tousled much like his own, his eyes are big and brown but right now, his face is also tear-streaked and red from exhaustion to the point where it tugs at Javier’s heartstrings. He shushes gently as he scoops his infant into his hands with practiced ease, holding underneath his arms and supporting his head with his fingers. He bounces gently when he has Lucas cradled against his bare chest. In his head, Javier goes through his usual checklist to make the crying stop but he finds that his son is neither hungry, gassy, or in need of a diaper change. He tuts softly and paces the room to make him settle. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” He asks when the wails subside and turn into soft whimpering instead. The tiny hands on his chest curl up and as the sobbing stops, Lucas seems to find comfort in the familiar scent and warmth of his father. Javier kisses the top of his head, speaking gently while still bouncing carefully, “Don’t worry, I get those too sometimes but your mamá is right there with me when I do just like I am here with you. You’re always safe with us.”

Javier is floored each time he manages to soothe his baby boy. It’s a reminder that he is doing a great job despite all the doubts he had during your pregnancy, the introspection, and the constant fear that your softness hadn’t changed him enough after Colombia to be a good father. 

It seems so long ago since he was living an adrenaline-fuelled and cruel life miles away from the quiet suburban life he now leads in Texas. Sometimes, he even feels like everything that happened in Colombia are experiences that belong to a whole different person. This is even if there are still nights when he wakes up in a cold sweat, his whole body aching, feeling claustrophobic, and his poor old heart racing with memories of the things he's seen and done.

The hope of everything that he has with you had always existed beneath the layer of women and booze but Lucas is the true reason for letting go of his past. He doesn’t think he has ever felt so much fulfillment in anything until he held the tiny little boy against his chest for the first time and a nurse told him that he was a natural. He sobbed when you had gone to sleep, leaving him alone with your shared creation and he just couldn’t take his eyes off him. He doesn’t think he ever thought that his heart was capable of feeling so much unconditional love for anything. He still marvels at how his chest aches every time he looks into his son’s eyes.

Lucas has drifted off to sleep in his arms by now, breaths having slowed down and eyes having fluttered closed. Javier paces around the room for a few more minutes just to make sure, and then he walks back to the bassinet and gently lays the baby down on his back. 

However, as soon as Lucas loses the warmth of his father’s embrace, his eyes shoot open and the crying restarts. He writhes and hiccups and kicks the blanket off. 

Javier sighs softly but there’s a smile on his face as he does it. He picks him up once again and the routine starts over, “So that’s what you needed, huh? No llores. Estoy aquí. No voy a ningún lado (Don’t cry. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere)."

He is so tired as he promises this, eyelids burning from exhaustion when knows he doesn’t have to be up for another three hours and they could be spent on sleeping. It doesn’t reflect what he wants though because sleep is nothing compared to hearing those cries ebb out until they stop altogether. He feels triumphant each time. 

He walks to the corner of the room where an old and slightly weathered rocking chair stands. It used to be in his father’s home, more specifically on the back porch, but he received it as a gift after his pop found out he was going to be a grandfather. 

He slowly lowers himself into it. The gentle motion back and forth has Lucas falling asleep once again. Javier can feel his chest rise and fall in time with his son’s and it’s so soothing that he allows himself to relax. He closes his eyes, becomes aware of their synchronized heartbeats, and then passes out with the little bundle on top of him. 

In your bedroom, you wake up an hour later to pee only to find that Javier still hasn’t returned after getting up. You concentrate on listening for your baby’s cries but there is nothing to be heard. After going to the bathroom, your feet take you down the hall and into the nursery just in case Javier needs you to take over rocking your son for a while. 

You find them both fast asleep and it is a relief that there’s no distress after all. It makes you smile to see them like this, looking so alike despite the age difference between them. Tiptoeing across the floor to gently place a hand on Javier’s shoulder, you wake up your husband with the intention of not disturbing your son. He stirs at your touch and looks up at you with tired but content eyes. 

“Looks like you both fell asleep,” you whisper to him gently. Absent-mindedly, you stroke your hand up and down Lucas’ back. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Javier blinks sleepily, reaching up with one hand to rub his eye, “Seems like he didn’t need anything.” 

“Are you kidding me? That’s not true,” you cut him off with a shake of your head and a soft laugh, “He needed you.”

There’s a pause. Javier almost looks like he might drift off again. You carefully lift Lucas from his arms, “Let’s get you back to bed. Both of you.”

You lay Lucas back in his bassinet, rubbing his belly with the palm of your hand before tucking the blankets around him snugly. He stirs but only briefly and then settles back into a peaceful slumber, his tiny fingers curling around the edge of his covers.

Behind you, Javier has gotten up from his seat. You turn to him and wrap your arms around him, holding him close as you both stand there in the soft glow of the nursery. It goes on for a minute or so, none of you saying anything. 

Together, you quietly leave the room. In bed, Javier holds you protectively in his embrace during the last few hours he has with you. He leans to kiss your lips tenderly, “Te quiero tanto, baby (I love you so much, baby).”

“Y yo a ti (I love you too),” you reply and earn him squeezing you even tighter, “Para siempre (forever).”

Being a first-time parent is hard, you know this, but it’s not as hard when four a.m. I love yous are involved.

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If you would like to follow my writing then go follow @notjustjavierpena-fics and turn on notifications 💖❤️

[yan-lorkai]

A/n: I got this request that was inspired by this one, but tumblr ate. It was a request for Azul, Deuce, Epel and Ruggie.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: yandere content, they're all possessive and bad, gn!reader

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Azul is completely enraptured by your intense passion for writing, but he can’t help but feel that your devotion to it leaves too little space for him. He often worries about the toll your overthinking takes on you, watching you get consumed by your own thoughts like a moth drawn to a flame. To keep you from slipping too deep, Azul offers "helpful" ways to take control of your schedule, subtly limiting your writing time and encouraging you to rest with him instead.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Whenever you’re struggling with your work, he positions himself as the only one who can truly understand and support you, cultivating a sense of reliance on his guidance, of course he undertands your jokes, your characters and plot but others may not. In his mind, it’s only fair to keep you close — he wants to be the only one who truly understands the depths of your soul. Possessive, he knows, but he doesn't care at all. You're his, his, his.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Deuce is fiercely protective, though he barely understands the complexity of your thoughts and your connection to your work, he tries. He tries hard to understand you and your book. Yet he sees your writing as both a blessing and a curse — your devotion is beautiful to him, but the way it pulls you away from reality and from him stirs a quiet frustration inside him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He worries that the darkness within your thoughts will swallow you whole, so he steps in, claiming he’ll make sure you “don’t get lost in your head.” Deuce becomes increasingly insistent on spending time with you, sometimes pulling you away from writing entirely under the guise of needing a break, all while making himself indispensable, bringingy you some snacks and drinks, and wanting to cuddle with you. He’s convinced that if he just stays close enough, he can guide you out of the labyrinth of your mind. Nothing good will come out of a messy mind.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Epel admires your dedication to your craft, as he is also quite dedicated to his carving apple, but he is also deeply concerned, feeling that your introspective tendencies are almost self-destructive. He finds himself drawn to your depth, yet he hates how much you’re willing to sacrifice for your work, how lost you get inside your head, how you talk about your characters nonstop. Desperate to be your anchor to the real world, Epel begins to insist on pulling you away from writing, coaxing you with tales of adventure and distraction about the things he did in his childhood, dragging you to a skincare routine if he has to. And Vil is more than delighted to treat you too.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He swears he’s doing it for your own good, refusing to let you disappear into the void of your thoughts. Epel wants to be your escape, the person who gives you a reason to stay grounded, convinced he’s the only one who can keep you from falling too deep. And if he can't be that, then he can always erase your progress.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Ruggie respects your talent, but he finds your intensity both impressive and worrying. Watching you pour everything into your writing makes him uneasy — what if your dedication takes you somewhere he can’t follow? What if you publish it and become so famous and so rich that you'll forget about him? Determined to be essential to you, Ruggie starts to orchestrate small distractions, urging you to take breaks with him, sharing stories to spark your inspiration but also to keep you connected to him.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ He becomes almost possessive over your free time, encouraging you to rely on him for breaks and meals, ensuring you’ll always be drawn back to him. Ruggie knows how to work his way into your life, subtly positioning himself as the balance to your darker musings, determined to keep your feet on the ground. And if you refuse or are too fussy to abandon your work half finished, he'll use his unique magic to make you follow him.

[2000sangel]

Husk and cuddly drunk reader who flip flops from happy giggly silly to oddly philosophical within seconds

+ Husk and Angel with reader who goes back and forth between being super giggly and silly when drunk to really serious and introspective

Hey you guys! Your requests are very similar, which is why I decided to give you some headcanons instead of a full fic, so I could kind of combine them if that makes sense. Hope this is okay!

Husk

I feel like Husk doesn’t love it when you’re drunk; it makes him worry that you’ll do careless things or say something out of pocket that will result in people getting frustrated with you, which he doesn’t appreciate as he is fairly protective of his loved ones.

But, if you’re simply a little giggly he won’t really mind, as long as you don’t get too drunk of course. What he doesn’t really expect is for you to switch from being silly to being serious, if not philosophical.

He nods as he pours drinks if you’re inside the Hotel rather than at a bar, he has a job as a bartender to do after all, but even though you’re obviously drunk and probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow he still feels bad just straight up ignoring you.

So he gives you a little bit of attention, asking you questions which you can or cannot really answer to... it really depends on when he asks, if you’re not really in the introspective mood you’ll just give him a giggle and call him a silly cat which makes him shake his head endearingly.

At the end of the night he drapes a wing across your back protectively and walks you to your room or to the Hotel, all while you’re blabbering about something that sounds so deep that even he can’t really makes sense of it.

He brings you some water once you’re in bed and, even if you can’t really understand him as you’re already falling asleep, he grumpily tells you that he loves you and that you can keep talking about whatever you were on about earlier tomorrow.

Angel Dust

Angel plays along a little more than Husk does; he will agree with you on whatever you’re saying, or even argue that your theories are wrong. He will also pinch your cheek affectionately when you get into a fit of laughter, but after all he knows you’re drunk so if you’re not within the safety of the Hotel he’ll try to keep an eye on you at all times.

He definitely tries to hold off on how much he drinks to be able to be in his right mind in case something happens to you.

Just like Husk he will drop everything to walk you back to your room and even keep you company while you’re falling asleep. He finds it very funny that once you get to his room – he decides to bring you there as it’s more spacious – you try to engage in a very deep conversation with Fat Nuggets. He admires the ‘exchange’ for a while, before reminding you that it’s time to get your silly ass to sleep.

He already has everything prepared in case the next morning you’re on a hangover, and he’s ready to keep you wrapped up in his arms if it comforts you to have him close to you.

He definitely teases you once you wake up though...remember when you said that one thing about the values you’ve learned in Hell, and then started laughing at yourself over it? You probably don’t, but he was sober enough to, and now he’s going to giggle over it whenever it comes to his mind!

[diekleinesuesse]

Being best friends with Changbin:

Being best friends with Changbin would be an absolute rollercoaster of fun, chaos, and deep emotional support. From the outside, people might assume that he’s just the tough, confident rapper with a powerful stage presence, but as his best friend, you’d know the real Seo Changbin the softhearted, hilarious, and endlessly caring person behind the music

Endless Roasting Sessions & Playful Banter

One of the biggest parts of being best friends with Changbin would be the constant banter. He’s known for his quick wit and playful teasing, so expect to be roasted on a daily basis. But don’t worry it’s all out of love. Whether it’s making fun of your outfit, calling you “short” (even if you’re taller than him), or mocking your pronunciation of certain words, he’d always find a way to keep things entertaining.

Of course, you’d have to give it right back. Changbin loves when people match his energy, so if you clap back with an equally sassy remark, he’d just laugh and high-five you. The banter never crosses the line into anything mean he’d never want to hurt your feelings. Instead, it would be a constant game of who can come up with the funniest insult or the most dramatic reaction.

Gym buddies for live

Changbin is known for being one of the most dedicated gym-goers in Stray Kids. If you were his best friend, he would absolutely try to drag you to the gym with him. Even if you weren’t into working out, he’d encourage you to at least try it “Just come with me once! I promise you’ll feel amazing afterward!” (Spoiler: you might be sore for days.)

If you actually enjoyed the gym, you’d be his ultimate workout partner. He’d hype you up constantly “LET’S GO! YOU GOT THIS! LOOK AT THOSE GAINS!” and probably challenge you to random competitions like “Who can hold a plank the longest?” (He’d win, but you’d pretend you let him win.)

If you weren’t a fan of the gym at all, he wouldn’t force you, but he’d still send you random gym selfies with captions like “Guess who’s getting stronger while you’re still in bed?” just to mess with you.

Late-Night Deep Talks

Despite his energetic personality, Changbin is actually very sentimental and introspective. As his best friend, you’d get to see that side of him a lot. He’d be the kind of person who randomly texts you at 2 AM like, “Hey, do you ever wonder what life would be like if we made different choices?”

Whenever one of you was feeling down, he’d be the first to check in. He’d insist on meeting up whether it was going for a drive, grabbing late-night food, or just sitting on a park bench talking about life. He’s the type to listen carefully and give thoughtful advice, but he’s also really good at making you laugh even in your worst moments.

Likewise, he’d trust you enough to open up about his struggles too. He might joke around all the time, but he carries a lot of responsibility and pressure. As his best friend, you’d be one of the few people he could truly be vulnerable with.

Studio Hangouts & Exclusive Song Previews

Being best friends with Changbin means spending a LOT of time in the studio. He’s constantly working on new music, and he’d definitely invite you to hang out while he writes, produces, and records. He’d play you unreleased tracks and ask for your opinion “Be honest. Does this verse sound good, or should I change it?”

If you had any musical skills (singing, rapping, writing lyrics, etc.), he’d absolutely hype you up and encourage you to join in. Even if you didn’t, he’d still make you feel involved, maybe by letting you mess around with the soundboard or teaching you how to mix a track.

And of course, there would be plenty of silly moments too freestyle rap battles, making weird beats just for fun, and singing the most random things dramatically just to make each other laugh.

Food Adventures & Late-Night Snacks

Changbin LOVES food, so a big part of your friendship would revolve around eating. Whether it’s trying new restaurants, ordering way too much takeout, or late-night convenience store runs, he’d always be down for a food adventure.

He’d probably make fun of your food choices (“Ew, why would you put that on your pizza?”) but still end up stealing bites from your plate. If you ever cooked something for him, he’d dramatically rate it “This is a 10/10 meal. You should open a restaurant.”

And if you both stayed up late (which would happen often), you’d raid the kitchen together and eat snacks while watching random YouTube videos or talking about life.

Protective Big Brother Energy

Even if you were older than him, Changbin would still act like your protective big brother. If anyone upset you, he’d be the first to step up “Who do I need to fight?” (half-joking but also kind of serious).

If you were feeling anxious or insecure, he’d be the first to hype you up “Are you kidding? You’re amazing. They just don’t have good taste.”

And if you ever got lost in a crowded place or had trouble with something, he’d go full Problem Solver Mode, making sure you were okay.

The Ultimate Concert Hype Man

If you ever went to a Stray Kids concert, Changbin would go out of his way to make sure you had the best experience. Even if you were in the audience, he’d find a way to acknowledge youpointing at you, making silly faces, or hyping you up from the stage.

After the show, he’d text you something like, “Did you see how cool I looked? Be honest.”

If you were backstage, he’d be even more dramatic running up to you after the performance like, “DID YOU SEE THAT?! I KILLED IT, RIGHT?” and expecting you to shower him with compliments.

Nonstop Laughter & Unforgettable Memories

At the end of the day, being best friends with Changbin would mean never having a dull moment. He’s funny without even trying, and his energy is contagious. Whether it’s laughing until your stomach hurts, making up weird inside jokes, or having completely ridiculous conversations, he’d always make sure you were having fun.

But more than that, he’d be the kind of friend who sticks with you through everything the good, the bad, and the chaotic. He’d be your biggest supporter, your partner in crime, and your safe place all in one.

Being best friends with Changbin wouldn’t just mean having fun it would mean having someone who genuinely cares, who listens, who hypes you up, and who always, always has your back.