#there is a post in there about how interesting it is that slick manages to show some manner of sympathy for karkat

[katrinasis]

slick was so insane for this i need to get inside his head. like imagine meeting some weird alien kid with an inferiority complex and the second thing you do after stabbing him is cut open your own hand to show him that his blood color is nothing to be ashamed of and thus allowing him to begin his arc of self-acceptance. and then he imprints on you like a baby bird and you spend the next couple of months learning about the power of friendship together

[erenjaegerwifee]

✧₊⁺ Crushing pt 2

✨yall asked and shall receive! Here’s a part 2 of this drabble. I hope Yall like it! Don’t forget to like, comment and reblog!

✨Warnings: MDNI 18+, friends to lovers, belly bulge, fingering, p in v, neteyam writes on you

✨Word Count: 2.3k (this was supposed to be a drabble).

✨ all my characters are aged-up! If you’re uncomfortable please do not interact with my post.

“So y/n can I ask you something?” Neteyam mumbled as you both sat together eating some fruit he picked for you. It’s been a couple of weeks since he saw you wearing that his name on your back and since then he’s been easing you into the idea of spending time with him. He has successfully managed to make you set a couple hours just for him alone which makes him extremely happy.

“Go for it” you answered waiting for his question, “I saw an avatar the other day, he had a tattoo on his shoulder and it reminded me of the Metkayina when we went…I know it’s also a human thing, have you ever considered getting one?” Neteyam asked sweetly.

His ears twitched as he looked down at you sitting so cute and small on the log, he looked like a giant next to you, but that wasn’t something that bothered him anymore after he over heard Kiri and Lo’ak talking to you about like na’vi men. He knows he has a shot he just needs to act before someone else does.

“Oh yea I have a couple right now I was hoping to get some more, I like how they look I just can’t decide what to get” you chuckle. Your laugh was ever as beautiful but that’s not what caught his attention this time, how could he have not known u have tattoos already, all the man does in his spare time is look at you.

“You have? Since when?” He asked his tone was surprised, you expected it, no one besides the woman who gave you the tattoo knows you have them. It’s not a secret really but you just never thought anyone would care. You thought it was cute neteyam was so interested. “I got my first one when I was 19 and my second about 6-7 months ago. It just finished healing.”

You’ve had this tattoo for years? And he’s never seen them? How? “Can I see them?” He blurted out making you giggle, “I can’t show you out here silly”Oh so these are intimate tattoos, even better.

“I have one behind me ear and the other on my ribs” you gestured to the places with your hands as you finish eating the fruit. “I’ll show you, let’s go back to the lab” you jump off the log and Neteyam follows suit walking behind you.

When you arrive to the lab neteyam pushed the door open for you to walk in and you take your mask off and he grabs one throwing it around his neck. Neteyam followed you through the hallways bending down so he could fit, he looked cute crouched down like that.

You walk into your room and shut the door behind you, Neteyam naturally made his way to sit on your bed, it was a big bed he could fit there easily but it was low to the floor so when he sat down, he was almost at your height but not quite.

“Ok look” you walked up to him and stood were his knees were and pulled your hair over your shoulder pulling it back for him to see the cute atokirina behind your ear behind your ear lobe (I’ll put pics of the tattoos I imagine below) it was small he couldn’t see it probably from his far away you were.

Instinctively he put his large hands on your bicep and waist and pulled you closer slotting you in between his legs. His head moved closer to see you your tattoo and your felt his breath on your collarbone as he looked at it.

You’ve never been in this kind of compromising position before especially not with neteyam. It made you slick, you squeeze your thighs together hoping his amazing na’vi nose doesn’t pick up in the scent change.

“Atokirina…” he whispered next to your ear “Tsal lu yuey sìn nga” (it is beautiful on you) his voice made your shiver, you took a deep breathe trying to calm your raging hormones. Neteyam’s hand that was on your bicep now ran through your hair pushing it back more and brought his head down so his lips could touch your tattoo.

You gasped at the feeling of him kissing you there, it was always a sensitive spot for you. Your eyes shut as his tongue darts out to taste your skin, “taste like you..”

“Neteyam… it’s healed you wouldn’t taste the ink” your voice was breathy and your legs felt weak. It was only when he heard your voice he realized what he was doing to you and boy did he love these cute reactions, “where’s the other one?”

He pulled back his head and look at you, your face was slightly blushed and your lip was trapped between your teeth, “here…” you raised you r-shirt up to right under your bra pointing to the tattoos of the knife curved under your left breast with 2 feathers hanging off the handle.

Neteyam recognized that knife, it was the one you made go him when he passed his rites of passage at 15 years old. It was 10 years ago but he never changed that knife for anything. “my knife”

“Well yea I thought it fit nicely in the spo- what are you doing neteyam” his hands moved to the base of the t-shirt you were holding up and pulled it swiftly over your head exposing you in your bra and cute shorts. Your bra was a pretty baby pink with a bow in the center.

“Neteyam!” Your hands fly down to cover your bra, “mawey (calm), just want a better look.” He pulled your close by your arms that were crossed on your chest and then pushed them out of the way so he can see the tattoo. His head dipped examining the details that are his knife on your body.

His lips met the stop kissing it before darting his tongue out making you suck in a breath. “You look beautiful, so so pretty with these, you want more?” He asked you.

You nodded your head meekly at him trying to stop your panties from leaking. “Where?”

“M-my back maybe, my thighs” you said softly. He smiled, his head came back up holding his body up to his full height. Neteyam’s hands sat on your hips running up and down twisting your small frame in his hands. He loved the way his fingered unintentionally touching when it crawls up to your waist.

He has you so close to him, his scent invades your nose so you could imagine how strongly you must smell to him. “Tell me to stop?” You didn’t say anything. You didn’t want him to stop.

Neteyam kissed you softly on the lips, his finger tips squeezed your flesh as he ran his tongue over your bottom lip. His lips were so soft and tender. His mouth was much bigger than yours, his kiss progressively got more heated and his grip on your body got more intense.

You pulled away feeling Neteyam strain his body for air and brought the mask that hung on his chest up to his mouth. Neteyam took in a deep breath looking at you with his golden eyes. He is so fucking fine!

He pushed you aside and grabbed a dark blue permanent marker that sat in your desk. He pulled you onto his lap making sure you get comfortable before he leaned back against the wall next to your bed. “Gonna let me draw some tattoos on you baby? Want one here right?” His large hand slide up your thighs making you shiver and you nodded your head meekly.

Neteyam opened the marker and slipped his head to your neck sucking in your soft skin. Your human skin bruised so easily he absolutely loved how sucking on you for 3 seconds could turn you red.

Your eyes were closed as you took in the feeling of his tongue on your skin and his hand moving lightly with the cool marker pressed against your leg, you couldn’t see what he was writing so when he pulled away na moved the marker you looked down at your thigh. There in bold capital letters was NETEYAM on the entire length of your thigh.

The slight made you blush, is he staking claim? Is this some kind of ownership? Whatever it is you are loving every part of it. You don’t touch it not wanting to smear the writing but you glance up at him only to see him waiting for your reaction.

You lean forward and kiss him roughly on the lips. “Neteyam will you do something for me?” You pull away batting your eyes at him, “anything baby”

“Fuck me” your request caught him off guard but he proceeded anyways. He picked you up and laid you on the bed softly, he kneeled on the bed in front of you pulling off your shorts and underwear in one swift move. Neteyam laid on the bed next to you throwing your left leg over his thighs, and pushing your right up in the air spreading your legs. Neteyam observed your soaking folds gliding a finger through them collecting your slick.  

He brought the finger up to his lips to taste you with a sweet hum he brought his finger back down to circle your clit. With another finger he slid into your weeping hole. You head your head on his shoulder as you watch his movements with him, his other arm was thrown over your shoulder keeping you close as he finger fucks you open.  

Neteyam added another finger then another speeding up his pace until he was shaking your entire lower body, “Neteyamm AHH” you scream when you gush on his fingers. Your head was buried in his neck kissing his warm skin softly as he assaulted your cunt.  

Neteyam pulls his fingers out licking them clean before be lays flat on his back and moves you to his lap, straddling his hips. “Now baby, where else do you wanna get a tattoo?” Your mind was woozy as you stared at him, you still felt the stretch of his fingers in your cunt. Your hands press onto his abdomen leaning forward, your hair fall in front of your body. 

Neteyam wraps as arm around your back and with his fingers he unhooks your bra ad falls down your arms exposing you to him. Your tits bounce when they fall free and Neteyam’s eyes were glued to them. You took notice and guided his hands towards them so he can touch you. 

You bit your lip feeling the way he tugged on your nipples. “I- uh, I think on my collarbone and my back, my legs, maybe right over here” you run your fingers over the side of your waist where it curves inward so perfectly. Neteyam didn’t waste a moment scrambling for the marker and pulling you close right his initials, ‘N.S.’ above your collarbone where your shoulder meets your neck. 

Then he moved the marker down writing the nickname you call him ‘TEYAM’ vertically down the side of your abdomen. He dropped the mark after admiring his works and pulled you up to sit on his abdomen while he unties his loincloth. You drop your body down kissing his while he does, your breast press against his hard chest as you stick your tongue in his mouth fighting for dominance which he won. When you pull away a string of spit connect both your lips and he raised you up laying you on the bed and him on top of you.  

Your body is dwarfed beneath his as he lines his cock up with your dripping slit and slowly push into you. This is the first time you’ve ever seen a cock so big you weren’t sure it was going to fit in you. As if he read your mind, he bent his body over so he face is in front of yours and kissed you, distracting you from the painful stretch.  

You focus all your attention on the way his tongue moves so seamlessly with yours and you don’t even realize when he’s bottomed out inside you until you hear his grunt. “So tight baby, so fucking tight” Neteyam groaned, his head dropped down onto your shoulder and you wrap your legs around his sexy waist and locked them together. 

Neteyam started moving slowly listening to your loud whimpers, you’ve never been so full before. “Tey, s-so full” he pulled his head up to look down at you admiring they blush that traveled down your hot skin. His eyes traveled down your body, watching the way your tits bounce with his every thrust making him speed up to see them bounce harder.  

His faster pace made you tear up, your jaw was slack you couldn’t even form sounds because he was fucking you so good. Neteyam admired the writing he left on your skin, and his eyes made it to your tummy, your every full, bulging tummy. His eyes widen slightly as he watched the imprint of his huge cock moving in and out of you. When he bottoms out, his tip was right up to your belly button. 

When you come on his cock your moan loudly and gush on him. Neteyam felt his entire cock get wetter in your snug cunt and his head dips down into your tits sucking on your nipples as he speeds up his thrust. He pulls out and lends back stroking his cock so he can cum on your body, “Fuck, fuck gonna cum on you baby” he whimpers as his cock shot up onto your breast and stomach.  

Neteyam was panting as he dropped to the side of you looking at the mess he made of your body. He grabbed his discarded loincloth and whipped the cum down and off your body pulling you close to him, “You did so well for me baby, are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asked his voice was concerned. “No, no it was amazing tey” you said in a weak voice.  

“Hey baby, next time I see my name on you, want it to be permanent.” he kissed your neck wrapping his big arms around your body. And who were you to deny him what he wants? 

Taglist:

@rivatar @xylianasblog @strongheartneteyam @delusionalwh6re @nilahsstuff @m1tsu-ki @kylimarz @quicktosimp @its-jennarose @r11k4 @xrollingmyeyesx

[steviewashere]

Been Wanting 🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Rating: Explicit CW: Omegaverse (If that isn't your thing) Tags: Post-Canon, Smut, Fluff and Smut, (Versatile I Know), Alpha/Omega, Omega Steve Harrington, Alpha Eddie Munson, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Steve Harrington Has Sensitive Nipples, Eddie Munson Has a Sensitive Cock, Overstimulation, Scent Kink, Scenting, Voice Kink, Spit Kink, Nipple Play, Wet & Messy, Come Swallowing, Oral Sex, Oral Knotting, Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, Steve Harrington Has a Vagina, Eddie Munson Has a Big Dick, Sweat (Which I Feel is a Titular Character), Pillow Humping, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson This is my first omegaverse fic, be nice to me please <3

💕——————💕 His chest is just beginning to ache where he circles his fingers. Hot, sweaty skin, moist chest hair, and hard nipples that he couldn’t stop touching. Every little brush makes him jolt—makes his insides seize, makes him grind his already sloppy, wet cunt into the pillow between his legs. He buries his face farther into the mattress, feet twisting by the headboard, toes scrunching with every touch, and every scent that fills his nostrils.

Everything in his nest smelt like him and Eddie. His alpha. The mattress: firm and ripe with Eddie’s musk. A pillow between his thighs that has Eddie’s spittle soaked into the pillowcase. With his fingers working away at his nipples, elbows digging hard into the bed underneath to keep him upright—to prevent him from suffocating (though what a fate when Eddie is all that surrounds him)—he lolls his tongue from his drooling, wanton mouth, and suckles on the worn, stained, and salty bedsheet. If he closes his eyes hard enough and lets his brain drift away from the now, he swears he can taste Eddie.

Sweat, come, metallic blood from bites gone awry, bourbon and pine from cologne, and bergamot in his bar soap. His tongue savors the flavor, sucking back as far as possible, bedsheet hitting the back of his mouth before he can do anything about it. The ripple ache through his chest, zings from his succulent, hardened nipples, and the overfull burn from stretching his lips makes Steve’s eyes squint and tear-up. He pants through his nose, unable to get a full breath before he’s coming—again.

Slick soaks between his legs, the wet spot on Eddie’s pillow getting only wetter. His thighs squelch lightly when they tense and stick to each other. He hears the distant knock of the headboard slam into the wall—his foot must’ve kicked out. The bedsheet falls from his mouth when he opens wide—to scream and moan and gargle around his own hot saliva. His throat is burning, the sounds coming out of him are raspy and overused, but he doesn’t care.

All he cares about is pulling himself up enough to get some proper air. His whole body shaking and jolting—the come down—languid and blissed. He gets himself to the edge of his mattress, sat up and head swimming. Eddie still surrounds him. Chest heavy from how hard he’d been playing with himself. He doesn’t touch again, needing a break—doesn’t want his nipples to fall clean off, Eddie still needs to have his way with them. And speak of Eddie, Steve can’t handle the rest of today without him. He’s already moving to the phone downstairs.

Heady and warm, naked and sweaty, hair flat to him, thighs sticky, and cunt pulsing for a knot that isn’t here—not yet, at least. The stairs are hard on his sore legs, previously twisted and tensing around that pillow. But he manages, one thought through his head: I need my alpha. Need him, need him, need—

“Thatcher’s Tires, this is Eddie speaking. How can I help you today?”

Steve’s already whimpering through the phone before he can chance speaking. Breath shuttering through him. Chest blossoming at the sound of Eddie’s voice, a field of wildflowers tangling flush through him. Even if his alpha sounds wholly bored. He can change that, he knows he can. Can make him interested in him instead. “Mm, Eddie,” he breathes. “Need you to—Know you’re working, probably shouldn’t call, but I…mmm…started my heat early. Can’t—Fuck, I need you. I need you so bad right now.”

“Oh, baby,” Eddie coos down the line. Steve’s fingers ache from earlier, but still, he begins the slow journey to his pussy. Curling them in his pubic hair, nails just barely grazing the lips. “I’ll come over right away, do you need me to bring you anything?”

“Just you,” Steve says, maybe a little too honest—but he’s beyond the voice of reason that he’s being even the slightest of too much. Eddie said he’d come. He’d come for Steve. “Don’t shower,” he requests quietly, voice shaking as his fingers finally curl inside, “just get over here, straight over here.”

“You gonna be on the couch or in your room, sweetheart?”

He whimpers unabashedly. Squelches fill his opposite ear not pressed to the phone. Dizzy with arousal, eyes closing on their own accord, words coming slow to his brain—he has to lean against the wall so he doesn’t topple to the floor. Eddie has a way with petnames, even in the most mundane, so sweet and singular—for me, Steve knows, just me. “Don’t think I can get back up the stairs,” he admits, “and…I may have ruined the bedding a little bit.”

Eddie goes quiet for a moment. A gentle hum. “Wonder what you looked like. Splayed out…were you touching yourself like you are right now?”

A little dumbly, he shakes his head. The words finally come from his mouth, though. “How’d you know?” He forces his fingers inside himself deeper, the first knuckle and a half swallowed up. Walls clenching down. Already wet. Slick beading down to his wrist. “Nipples,” he says incoherently, “just them. Nothing…nothing else.”

“You make noises, y’know,” Eddie lightly teases, voice low, “these little…yips. They’re so cute. It’s nice to know what I do to you, baby.”

Slack-jawed and teary-eyed, Steve comes all over his hand. Palm filling with his come, pearly and thick. He moans, or at least he hopes he does. Or maybe he screams. Rasps something directly onto Eddie’s eardrum, he hopes it vibrates to his brain, hopes it rattles around Eddie’s head as he’s driving back. Wonders, even as he collects himself and whispers his love and hangs up the phone, what exactly he does to Eddie.

It’s not too long after the call that he finds out.

Eddie bursts through the front door. Already wrangling out of his coveralls, sweat stained and grease spattered on his left cheek. Boots toppling over with heavy thunks. Hair up and wild in a half-assed ponytail he, Steve assumes, most definitely did on the ride back. His rings aren’t on his fingers, either from work or getting prepared. And from where his boxers are freed from the coveralls, Steve sees the heavy, rounded bulge that signifies exactly what he needed to know.

He’s sat on the middle cushion of his couch. It’s a faux leather, black couch that was stupidly expensive. Stupidly ugly, if he were to have had a say in it. And he’s already begun to ruin it with his slick, from this time—from times before. Knows, all too well, that none of what they’re about to do is going to come up easily with a general clean. He sort of relishes in it, rubs his soft fingertips on his nipples to harden them completely up again. Legs open wide and wanting as Eddie comes tumbling into the living room, eyes already zeroed in on Steve’s throbbing, flushed pink, shiny, and wet as the ocean pussy.

“Fuck, baby,” Eddie groans, “oh, fuck.” He rushes forward, on the pursuit. And, immediately, he’s caging Steve in. Knees on either side of his hips. Hands cupping Steve’s reddened, happy face—kissing him with fervor, teeth threatening to nip and savor the plush offering. He pulls back a tad with saliva connecting them, spit that Steve knows he’ll never get tired of tasting. Eddie’s hips stutter forward, grounding down on Steve’s happy trail. “What do you need from me, sweetheart? I’ll give you anything. Anything at all.”

“Cock,” Steve answers easily, “the tip. On my nipples. Like we did last time.”

Last time. It was laying down in his nest, Eddie hovering above him. The red tip of Eddie’s cock rutting absurdly and sloppily onto his overworked nipples, making the both of them mewl and arch and whine into next Sunday. One of Steve’s hands massaging Eddie’s hanging low balls, squeezing tensely when they both came.

And now…now it’s watching Eddie clumsily spring his cock free of his boxers. The fabric already slightly damp with his pre-come. His gargantuan, thick, veiny dick in hand as he directs it onto Steve’s heaving, sweaty chest. Teasing gently, even as they both moan quietly at the first sign of contact. Eddie’s left hand, his free one, keeps cupping Steve’s face gently—lovingly, carefully. His thumb running underneath Steve’s eye, catching wayward tears, slow and warm as he gives himself away to oversensitivity.

Steve, aside himself, drops his jaw low, mouth wide open and drooling—keening high in the back of his throat, tight and pitchy, stuffed somewhere in his nostrils. He writhes against the cushion, gushing onto the sofa. Can hear the way the slick suctions between his thighs and the leather. His fingers shake and tense, roll the buds of his nipples back and forth slowly, and his pinkies run along the areoles. It tickles, this sensation, but then it also reaches deep inside of him—jolts his breath and straightens his spine, builds a ball of zinging warmth heavy in his belly. His head falls into the back of the sofa, hair stuck to the sides of his face, limp over the couch.

He blearily can see Eddie. How he digs his teeth into his lower lip, hard enough that Steve thinks he notices small beads of deep, rich blood. Wants to taste, but is melted back into the couch, slow and syrupy. Eddie’s face is bright red, eyes half-lidded and glazed, dark where he stares down at the weeping tip of his cock—the pearls of pre-come that are slowly, but surely slicking up Steve’s already matted with sweat chest hair. His scent is deep and rich, spicy with bourbon, so sticky and heavy that Steve swears he could become drunk on it. If he had his face buried deep into the side of Eddie’s neck, he’s sure he could come away intoxicated and delirious. He’d welcome it, if he could only peel his own hands away from his nipples, make himself bend completely forward and take a great inhale.

Eddie snarls and growls above him. He goes just as slack-jawed as Steve is. Humps forward into his own fist and squeezes himself in as far as he can manage. His legs are noticeably shaking, keeping himself upright. But he persists. And, something delicious to Steve’s arousal blurred vision, there’s a thick drench of drool down Eddie’s chin.

With a stuttered gasp, he finally (though hesitantly) brings one of his hands away from his chest, taps Eddie’s naked right hip. Their eyes lock. And he swears, in stare alone, that he’s fulfilled. But still, he huskily requests, “Spit…spit in my mouth, Eds. Need”—and he shutters, palm flat to his right nipple, fingers squeezing into the soft give of his pec—“need to taste you.”

Silently, yet obliging, Eddie nods once. He closes his mouth, lips pursed. And then he swishes a glob between his teeth, cranes his neck forward, dips his head down, and parts his lips just enough for the saliva to spill through. It’s almost like slow motion to Steve’s drowsy brain, the way the spit travels between them. Cascading like a spoonful of molasses—and briefly, he thinks of Eddie tasting like burnt caramel, like burn, a char so pleasant he wouldn’t even mind.

When it lands on his twitching, spongy tongue, Steve immediately swishes it around. Tasting—or at least attempting to—what Eddie is. He swears, beyond everything, that he was right. That Eddies’ mouth, his insides, are just as sweet and just as rich as gingerbread cookies. Baked late at night, waiting to cool into early morning for Christmas. Like cheer, joy, a sense of spirit that Steve has been longing for. Thinks that Eddie is love personified, sweet and drenching, overbearing, yet slow to hit him. He thinks that Eddie’s everything he’s ever desired.

He swallows, eyes closed and humming. “Thank you,” Steve murmurs, babbles, “so good. Good for me. Everything, Eds. Alpha—mmm—everything.”

Above him, Eddie babbles in his own way, “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. Underneath me. Pink and pretty and…and you smell so good—fuckin’ like a fuckin’ tree, when it rains, fresh…wanna just…wanna”—he pitches forward slightly and ruts against Steve, hard. His words lose steam, but his movements don’t. He moves his hand off of Steve’s face, instead tangling it low in his hair, scrunching dirty, sweaty locks in his fingers. Fingernails dully scratching at the base of Steve’s skull. And his cock gets sloppy, running sidelong and spilling, slick and slicker as he moans louder and louder—impossibly loud, a near scream, an echoing rasp that Steve knows will leave Eddie’s throat sore and rough even through the next few days.

But they’ll take care of each other, they always do. They’ll make tea, completely domesticated, acting as if they’re mating glands have been bonded, like a happy married couple. And, oh, how Steve wants.

His free hand drifts away from Eddie’s hip, shifting down, down, down to his drenching pussy. To the puddle of slick between his legs, wetting the back of his hand. As he buries his fingers deep inside himself, past the first knuckle, nearly past the second. Crooking them slowly, strongly. His fingers ache. There’s nothing but slick all over his hand, but he knows Eddie will clean it up for him afterwards.

“Uhhnn—Eds,” Steve breathes, choked up, yet light. “‘M gonna…gonna come, baby. Want you—You do it too? Please?”

Eddie’s head bobbles where Steve can still make it out, eyelids heavy and getting heavier. The cock on his abused nipples gives a valiant kick. A tense. “Where d’you want me, sweetheart?”

Steve just pulls his head up from the back of the couch, pushes it forward gently, and parts his lips enough for Eddie’s big, thick cock. Getting the message, Eddie inches his way inside. Tip, then the first two inches, a third, and a fourth. But that’s all that gets in before Steve gives a weak little gag and a huff of approval. Eddie’s dick is heavy on his tongue, veins protruding, salty and sweaty. He tastes like a day’s worth of work, a bit like the way car grease smells, and his own stench. It should be gross, realistically. But this taste, the weight of it, is all too divine. He gargles around it all, welcomes the aching stretch at the corners of his mouth, the bit of tears it brings to his eyes.

And with a final tug to the rest of his exposed inches, Eddie’s coming hard and fast down Steve’s throat. He gags at the load, too much too fast, but doesn’t pull away. If anything, he allows himself to bend forward, to crush the tip of his nose into the soft skin of Eddie’s dick. He swallows it all, because this is exactly what he wanted. But what he wanted especially—

Eddie’s knot is slow to lock inside Steve’s mouth. But it blooms, oh does it bloom. Swelling into any extra room in his mouth, filling the gaps between his teeth, locking them together for the next little while. And as it chokes him, makes him heady, makes him pliant to the cushion—Steve slicks a flash flood onto the sofa. The puddle growing, enough to coat his entire hand, sticky and warm and viscous. He can’t see it, but knows completely that he’s ruined the cushion he’s sitting on.

The swell goes slowly, too. As they pant and catch their breath.

And when they finally separate, Eddie brings Steve’s soaked hand up to his mouth and cleans it with his heavy tongue. Spit on the webs between his fingers. Saliva spilling down to his wrist. Slick gone in the matter of seconds as Eddie tastes and devours what he’s given. Popping away with a satisfied, small hum.

It’s the first day of Steve’s heat, so he knows that there will be more days like this.

But for now, “I’m tired,” he mumbles. “Mmm, but that was good. So good for me, Alpha.” He watches Eddie pull up and away, but then unceremoniously plop down on the cushion to Steve’s right. “Been wanting you all day.”

Eddie tucks a strand of hair behind Steve’s ear. Thumb tickling down his jaw. “Love helping you, sweetheart,” he whispers, “I’m glad it was good for you.” He leans in, slow and gentle, and leaves a small, sticky peck to Steve’s still warm face. “You wanna go cuddle in your bed for a little while?”

“About that,” Steve murmurs, “I sorta…kinda…maybe got some slick on your pillow?”

“Oh?” There’s a glint of…something that Steve can’t quite read in Eddie’s eyes. “Thought you were just laid out upstairs.”

Steve gives a weak little chuckles, eyes still heavy with exhaustion. His chest jumps from being used so harshly earlier, fingers squeezing into the meat of his thighs to calm himself down. “I missed you,” he admits quietly, “needed you around me.”

“I know, baby,” Eddie coos. “But maybe my pillow is better now. Want to go upstairs and sleep for a little while? Looks like you’ve been worked up and working yourself out all day.”

“Will you knot me later?”

“I’ll do whatever you want. Maybe even…take care of that mating bond for you.”

In quick, awake movements, Steve reaches out for one of Eddie’s hand and squeezes harshly. “Better get upstairs, then. Stay here for my heat. Make do on your promises.”

Eddie inhales sharply. Eyes wide and dark. “Forever, baby,” he lightly growls, “you have me.”

💕——————💕

[williamshamspeare]

You like all the Papa Louie customers eh? Name one good thing about every customer (currently)/lh

*slicks back hair* It's showtime.

Akari - Her coolness factor is unreal. Love the motorcycle, love her whole biker getup, and it's reasonably possible she might be a reference to that Akira anime thing. Which would be pretty sweet

Alberto - BRASILERIO NUMERO UNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Also him hating dentist appointments is quite the amusing fun fact. I like how his favorite holidays have had a general consistent pattern in all the games (favor SJ in the sweet games, SL in the savories)

Allan - Love his pompadour! Also glad that Flipline wasn't ever afraid of keeping his unibrow and missing tooth throughout the years... Also that one Brody's Gallery fanart probably awakened something within me. Sideburns are hot, y'all

Ally Kabam - They just revealed her so we don't really know all too much about her, but that doesn't mean I can't sing her praises! And by design alone, I can tell you that she's a STRONG customer: Brimming with both style and personality! Definitely setting the tone for the rest of the lineup, let's hope the rest of 'em live up to the hype

Amiria - They did throw quite a curveball revealing her to be a Tacodale local, but I dig it! Also great to have an official dental worker around! Designwise I absolutely adore her coat in the Style B, fuzzy thing that it is

Amy - That color scheme is a real treat, I say I say. And she's something of a fine art appreciator according to the little info snippet we got out of her creator on the forum, love that for her too... Plus the whole romance novel aspect adds to it quite well!

Austin - His design is straight up just a bottle of awesome sauce and I love that for him. Also shoutouts to him being autism rep, even if it was an obscure post from Tony... He's got that sauced up special interest swag

Bertha - Underrated queen. The fact that she's umpired 856 consecutive games calls to mind the image of her personally swimming to the mainland and back during the events of Freezeria Deluxe so as to not break the record, that's entirely headcanon but still it counts! It counts. And her Halloween costume is BOTH Jason Voorhes and Freddy Krueger at the same time, which is just. LOL

Big Pauly - An icon! His golden confidence as a salesman shines bright as the sun, and he's one of the very few characters to appear in every Papa Louie game/platformer if that means anything. I like to imagine he's one of those fast-talking infomercial type salesmen, the Billy Mays of the Flipverse. Can you imagine, in-universe Big Pauly YTPs

Boomer - Her entire design screams "America" but America doesn't exist in the Flipverse so she straight up came up with all that by herself. Amazing. Plus you gotta love how she lets all her hair down in the Style B

Boopsy & Bill - They absolutely SELL the ventriloquist gimmick. Y'know, to this day I still wonder how they managed to get the mouth animations to work... Also the style swap they do is a wonderful visual gag. They've got a boatload of personality

Brody - A greasy disheveled mess of a man. Everyone's favorite character archetype! Kinda crazy how active his flipdeck details him to be: Switched majors multiple times, an active caricature artist in Powder Point, lover of cult classic movies and friend of Skyler... He's a lot to work off of, he is

Bruna Romano - Looking at her orders over the games, you notice she tends to order dark rich flavors more often than not. Rather interesting... Also I love that she manages the band on top on playing in it, not something you see characters do every day

Budwin - Honestly kind of surprising how quickly his flipdeck made me feel for him. Suffering from chronic drowsiness, had to drop out of college, barely even making a living... And he still manages to make it to the Papa's establishments with a smile on his face

C.J. Friskins - What a weird little man (affectionate). Bro straight up wears a cat tail on his BUM at all times and made his debut as the Lunar New Year guy (a holiday which has yet to reappear), he's got this really offbeat, perhaps even offputting charm to him

Cameo - Or DrydenTH3Cultivar, as you know him online. The man is a VIGILANTE GAMER what's not to love about that!!! Also his whole outfit is kind of ridiculous in its own beautiful way, what with the whole peanut necklace & wristband combo. And the Crocs! Oh, the Crocs

Captain Cori - I do wish we got a little more info out of her flipdeck, but what we have to work paints a hell of a vivid picture! With her Pirate Bash getup and her wonderful new Halloween costume, she's just brimming with what I can only describe as "tough girl swag" (also she has popeye arms and that's amazing)

Carlo Romano - The fandom's favorite twink. Most people don't seem to talk about how he jumpstarted Marty's career in SatS, which is honestly kind of incredible to me... Also his Mocharia order was freaking hilarious with how much he hates coffee

Cecilia - There's just something about the way she existed for 11 whole gamerias without any info, then Matt & Tony basically building her entire backstory into the Bakeria plot (or vice versa, who knows what order it happened in)... She really is the flagship Bakeria character. And that's not bad at all

Chase - Has got to have had one of the most incredible flipdecks of all time. I think about the Oilseed Springs Reptile Extravaganza and Petting Zoo a whole lot more than I bet most people do, especially what the pyrotechincs and stunts entail... Also Smokie's one of the cutest pets I have ever laid eyes upon

Cherissa - Finally, an essential oil saleswoman who's trustworthy! Her whole cherry theme is honestly rather captivating, 'specially how the Style B transforms her into a cordial-based entity. I can tell they had fun designing her! I also adore the way they did her hair

Chester - There's something about this old man I can't help but find as a guilty pleasure. He's cranky, he's a gossip, he hoards doomsday supplies and has a permanent expression of contempt... Irresistible!

Chuck - I used to think that he was a Calypso Island local, kind of hilarious to think that's he's just a model (a stock photo model even) who happens to be associated with the island's trademark Surf Shack. Nearly all his outfits so far have been Hawaiian shirts, I wonder what they'll do for his Halloween costume

Clair - Love the family dynamic, but this is about each character as an individual. So! Clair's really fun to imagine and build headcanons around. Her being a physician with hectic hours, on top of being a loving mother... There's like so much you can do with a character base like hers! Plus her Style A is as classy as it gets. I've always been just a little curious about that button belt-thing she wears

Cletus - People seem to find him off-putting at best, with the whole sleeveless look and the bunny costume, but frankly I don't care. Let the old farmer man have weird eccentricities! He loves going antiquing at auctions! He operates a scrapyard where people can pay to find goodies! He's one of the most interesting characters in the whole cast if people just care to look into him deeper!

Clover - The back of her hair kinda looks like an explosion, which you gotta admit is pretty badass. Putting that aside, the checkerboard fit really suits her! Puts the ska into the ska-punk that is Scarlett and the Shakers, heh. I also like how she always carries drumsticks in her dress like a prop, more customers should carry props as part of their outfit honestly

Connor - The people of the forum really like to dunk on him, but frankly there's no one as much of an underdog as he is! I gotta hand it to Maz for helping me find the potential within him, there's so much that can be done with his character if you just look. I also really enjoy his orders in savory gamerias, that chicken sandwich would be LEGENDARY

Cooper - Sometimes being basic can be a good thing, and I think nobody else displays this as well as Cooper does. He's a simple man! Cooks his pancakes in the morning, looks out for his brother in the afternoon, he loves his family & his cat, and most importantly he's HAPPY. He is content with life!

Crystal - Oh how fabulous! Oh how decadent! Crystal is one of those customers that truly lives up to their name, I simply adore her gaudy aesthetic. Especially that sparkly texture on her shirt! Love it when they go for that kind of shading. Gotta give a shoutout to Cannoli too, love how he's like a cross between a mink and a feather boa (no limbs in sight)

Daniela - The theorizing about her military-based design choices was WILD before her flipdeck came out. Even afterwards, Daniela has always been something special! I do like the way she's consistenly ordered caramel & chocolate, and she's a top contender for the most GORGEOUS hair in the whole Flipverse when she takes down the bun

Deano - He's always been one of my favorite customers, really. Hell, I wear my own boater at an angle because of him! I also do like the hints towards him having some kind of connection with space, what with dressing up as an astronaut for Halloween and favoring Comet Con a couple times. Subtext is awesome!

Didar - Hell yeah! I loved his connected design with Simone from the get-go, but he really came into his own after the flipdeck came out. An amateur filmmaker, sasSugarsquatch hunter, AND a Maple Mountain resident all at once! Like I said with Brody, I love when characters are multiple different things at once. And there's the fun fact about his name translating to vision in Hindi, genuinely nice touch from the boys at Flipline

Doan - I don't know why people use the "exists in real life" excuse to leave out customers who are as much a part of this universe as any other character. Doan's got a pretty good deal going for him! I love the fact that he's canonically the artist behind Papa's branding and his posters, which means he's likely the one responsible for that Mousse poster in Mocharia (lmao)

Drakson - I've posted about it before, but the most charming part about him has to be the contrast between his dark and brooding design & his colorful cheery Hello Kitty-esque orders. Flipline knows how to implement a hilarious gag here and there! And as it stands right now, I really like how mysterious and edgy the band itself seems to be. I mean, on-stage argument and offstage fights? Sign me up!

Duke Gotcha - The face of Nowtime News has been getting a lot more popular as of late, and honestly it's all deserved! The Breaking News segments in the new games are probably my favorite new feature of the post-Flash era, and his expressions are a huge part of what sell 'em, so good on him for that! Duke... Gotchaaaaaah

Edna - She's like the patron saint of the X-Zone, if you think about it. Seriously though, I really find it interesting how she was tied to the X twins and the overarching lore of the Flipverse (properly honored in her fantastic Style B)! And her being an old seamstress gives her a great pinch of flavor on top of that

Elle - We may not know anything about her or even who her creator really was, so there's not much to go off with her... But that's kind of her charm, in a way. She could be anything! She's a mystery about herself, and that's pretty cool if you ask me

Ember - Spicy one! People don't really talk about her also being a scoutmaster, which is a shame because that's one of my favorite aspects of her character. Every day I pray Camping Season becomes a holiday just so we can get her in her official scoutmaster uniform

Emmlette - She's a drama teacher, how can I not love her? Being a student of the performing arts myself, I really do see a lot of my past acting teachers in her. They really did do their research when they made her! Also if you don't love her egg motif, you're just lying to yourself

Evelyn - Every time I think of her, I think of that one fanfic that accurately predicted her to be a retired movie star. Like it actually blew my mind when they revealed her flipdeck, that was a crazy day in Flipline history if you ask me. And they did hint that she'd be Olivia's grandma with those black olive wristbands, I always like to see design hints like that!

Fernanda - I often think about how she's the one who convinced Franco to take the risk and start Fernaco Architecture. There's something frankly so sweet about how the name of the company would also be their ship name. Plus, everyone loves a good poncho! And her jewelry's pretty great too

Foodini - Showing up at the end of every ingame day, it's probably safe to say Foodini's one of the most iconic characters to the whole franchise, up there with the ranks of Papa Louie himself! I really dig the whole game show host aesthetic, sometimes wonder if the hat design choice was a reference to the late Chuck Barris

Franco - He's absolutely rich with lore. Moving to Burgerburgh for his architecture job, starting a family there, then moving back to his hometown to chase his dreams and become an architecture magnate... He's made a veritable mark on the Flipverse as a whole! Also he has a really fun bodytype

Georgito - Honestly, Tony was goddamn hilarious for this one. Imagine being the original George friend who was insistent on being added as a specifically wealthy customer, and then getting depicted as the leprechaun of the Flipverse. Godspeed, Tony! Georgito himself is a rather dapper individual on his own, and I will say he's probably one of the very few cases where "smooth shading" hair has looked genuinely good

Gino Romano - My favorite Romano! I always do love an underdog. The way that he's a repeat fan of St. Paddy's Day and Bavariafest does paint quite a vivid picture of his flavorly tastes, and the fact that he was one of the founding members of the band is an interesting tidbit! And one more thing, I think it's pretty heavily implied that he has gigantism—making him another member of the disability rep crew

Greg - Kids usually hate tomatoes, so it's refreshing to see one that can't get enough of them! Also the fact that the sentient tomatoes from the platformers became one of his core personality traits. lol

Gremmie - The classic Freezeria closers have a soft spot in my heart, and Gremmie's no exception! There's plenty to be said about his uniquely crooked posture and his face-covering hair, but what I really like about him is how threatening his general vibe is. Wish he was a closer more often...

Hacky Zak - Yeah yeah, his old hair wasn't any good at all. But it does go to show that Matt & Tony listen to the fans, I really started to like Hacky once they changed it up! He rocks that hoodie, you have to admit

Hank - As short of a flipdeck that he has, Hank's definitely made his mark as a remarkable customer. I enjoy the way he's had very brief moments of being a closer, and the fact he hates night shifts does stir the imagination quite nicely. Plus, it's kinda funny how they always reach for him when they need a policeman character even though he's literally just a highway patrolman

Hope - There's something about her that's particularly unique. I think it's the unnaturally wide eyes, the resting grin, and how messed up some of her orders can get (WHAT was that BTC Freezeria order??) that makes her come off as vaguely unsettling... And I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Honestly it's great that they can go so wild on a KCP customer, goes to show that everyone has a place and a personality in this universe

Hugo - DJ Honey Buster is in the house! Him and his Warped Records record store have quite the history in the Flipverse, what with that one Travel Trout post designating it as the last of its kind. Hugo's a fighter! I also love how he modeled his DJ persona after his favorite kind of sauce. You'll never catch him eatin a burger with no honey mustard

Iggy - Every series with an ensemble cast of characters has to have at least ONE nerd, let's be real. Iggy sure does deliver! I love his color scheme, the way the highlights of yellow contrast the purple is really striking! And his flipdeck info is a lovely window into the in-universe sci-fi situation, I wonder what a show based off of Meteor Blaster could possibly look like

Indigo - Lots of forum FCs fall into the "fashionista" category, but frankly I don't think anyone does it like Indigo does! She absolutely KILLED it with Volcano Gala, I imagine that it was her and her alone who designed all those special outfits (even Pally's). And we love her for it!

Isadora - If you read between the lines of her flipdeck, it seems that she's another member of the implied disability crew! Honestly her flipdeck info pretty accurately aligns with the experience I had in middle school, so I did find the thing personally relatable for what it's worth. Also I like to imagine she made her Style A by cutting up the school uniform that was her Style B and turning it into a brand new outfit

Ivy - She's really so much more than a funny hairdo, if it weren't for her we wouldn't have Travel Trout! And who doesn't love her outfit? I've seen plenty of people lobby for her scarf in PLP and I couldn't agree more, she's fashion

James - Don't be grossed out that he uses a plunger as a weapon, it's clearly a drain plunger and not a toilet plunger. He's not swinging around a toilet pooper or anything. I'm getting off track, James is great! Love that he's one of the few customers to tout a name tag, and his unique facial proportions leave quite the impression

Janana - They literally couldn't have exaggerated the banana motif more. And that's what I love about her! On the other hand, I like how her flipdeck info couldn't have less to do with bananas. Most of the outsiders seem to be surprised when I tell 'em she's actually a music agent. I also like how the bands she manages have slowly started to show up more in the games lately

Johnny - Another character who has a whole lot going on under the surface. Behind the whole "attractive werewolf lumberjack" thing that most people fixate on, the man sells Christmas trees he chopped himself & consistently earns medals in the annual Woodchop Show! More people should talk about the Maple Mountain Woodchop Show if you ask me, tbh

Jojo - What can't be said about Jojo? In terms of gameplay, he's probably the most unique customer in the series! And there's the mystery on whether he's balding or has a luscious head of hair, since we never see him without some kind of head covering—I love seeing everyone's different takes (I'm a balding truther myself)

Julep - She comes packaged with some fantastic lore about Cornelius Poweder and the history of Powder point, and that flower dress in her Style B is frankly gorgeous. Also her whole name/design is a play on mint juleps, which is great

Kahuna - He's got a great contrast with Gremmie as the island's two surfer dudes, him being the native Hawaiian to Grem's Californian surfer dude, but he's also very much a force to be reckoned with by his own merits. Like his surfboard craftsmanship and surfing prowess! By all means, Kahuna is indeed the best surfer on Calypso Island at any given time! That's just canon, we all know Gremmie's an amateur at best...

Kaleb - I liked him ever since I laid eyes on him, the mystery behind what his deal is was probably his biggest draw at the time. And they revealed him to be the Hot Topic manager Funko Pop collector... I can earnestly say I did NOT see that one coming. Also his familial relationship with Trishna is pretty cute!

Kasey O - For some reason she's also one of the less popular customers, which is frankly a crime because good GOD she's badass. Like, she straight up leads a wrestling stable! She WON the Women's World Championship!! She has a charity and visits kids in hospitals in her own time!!! And to think that some people are so shallow to relegate her to the "dorito girl" with unconventional facial proportions, god knows how that's measured... Sometimes the fans disappoint me beyond what words can describe

Kayla - Whatta lady. There's something about her rise in the acting world that I aspire to achieve, rising from commercial work to Windie acclaim... That's how my wildest fantasies play out, isn't it the way. There's also something to be said about her fantastic choice in jewelry! I always prefer to keep her in her Style A because I love that bracelet so very much

Kenji - Another underrated customer to shine a light on! While his flipdeck info practically boils down to "he eats (wow!)", there's some hidden depths in his goofy little alternate outfits and the fact that he hates dining etiquette more than anything else. Man does NOT bother with the cutlery I can tell you that much

Kenton - A character created by someone I'm acquainted with, that's a first for this list! I was very hyped to see Kenton rise up to the top, all the way down to seeing his Style B be designed before it made its appearance ingame. Did you know that according to his creator-made bio, he didn't see his parents hardly ever growing up? (just his dad specifically, mom died at age 7)

Kingsley - Hail to the king baby! This guy's been through a lot of different suits throughout his career (I specifically remember him touting the all-yellow suit throughout my whole childhood), and every time he serves it on a golden platter. Even without the Customerpalooza thing in his name, the man is one of the most iconic characters of the franchise, and a solid character in his own right! He doesn't like hecklers, which I find amusing

Koilee - That koi dress seriously BLOWS ME AWAY, I cannot get over how good it looks with that scale detail. Like genuinely, the way they drew that blows me away... Peak Flipline artstyle. And as a character, I love how she lives so peacefully in Sakura Bay while balancing a job over in Oniontown. I like to imagine there's a sophisticated train system that gets her there, and that she got fired from the aquarium before vacationing in Oniontown to get her mind off of things

LePete - The first of the three baddie fans, LePete definitely stands out in the trio. He comes off as more serious than the other two, which I really like to lean into in my ongoing Life in the Flipverse comic... And also he wears a COCONUT on his HEAD that's amazing come on! I do like how he's the only one to never have actually been to Munchmore before, at least canonically speaking

Liezel - WOohoo! People have sung her praises plenty before, so I'll take the time to appreciate the lesser-pronounced aspects of her character, like how she didn't favor the same holiday twice until Mocharia or her undying dedication to spumoni. Spumoni's great! Wish it was more widely available... Also the whole "parmesan kiwi" thing in sushiria was one of her more memorable moments, especially before her flipdeck reveal

Lisa - A fantastic Burgeria era customer, one of the best even! That unique hairstyle really makes her stand out in the grand scheme of customers, and I find that they did a really good job establishing her role in the Fernaco family while making sure she was her own person as well.

Little Edoardo - It's definitely easy to see why he is (or was) Tony's favorite character! The elder of the Romano Family Quartet, this man is a notably unique addition to the family in multiple ways. His early streak of having weird gameria orders was fun, even if that title was later relegated to Xandra and Xolo. And of course, the Pastaria story was really adorable to see unfold! Edoardo and Olga make such a cute couple, which I know is something of an unpopular opinion but it's my opinion nonetheless

Lloyd - FINALLY, they let an old man be athletic for once! Lloyd's one of the characters that admittedly weirded me out the first time I saw him, but ultimately grew on me as the time went on. And it's also pretty neat how they let us have a centenarian customer on the official payroll, too

Maggie - From aimlessly drifting through life to Taco Mia worker to accomplished politician, Maggie's got one of the most comprehensive character arcs in the whole series! There's also something to be said about her representation of Cinco de Mayo, which I'm hoping to see possibly return in Paleteria (I know it'll go hard in this game I just KNOW it)

Makaila - Well, there's always gonna be one character you struggle with... She may be a landlord who rubbed capitalism all over the shores of Calypso island, but I do have to admit that her hexagon motif & Style B dress-coat combo really do strike a fantastic design! And I guess that in a meta sense, it is nice to have a more morally ambiguous customer in the mix

Mandi - I'll admit it's a bit harder to distinguish where the line is between real life and in-universe for Mandi, even more so than with other IRL customers, but nonetheless she makes it work! The owl motif is really really cute, especially with that Wendy's Wheels kart! Wouldn't be surprised if she dresses up as an owl for Halloween, heh.

Marty - Scarlett and the Shakers just wouldn't be the same without him! Marty's diamond motif doesn't come up as much as the other members' respective suits do, but I think that kind of adds to his own offbeat style in a way. He's definitely more of a free spirit with the burguitar and all, I just know he brings a unique flavor to the band. Outside of that, I like how one of his more noteworthy traits is having a beloved hatchback

Mary - MarySue is one of the fandom's most decorated ships, and for good reason! Mary is one of those characters who is completely brimming with personality, from her flipdeck all the way down to the design of her kart. Painter by day, bagpiper by night, full-time pug enjoyer! She's like the sun to Sue's moon in that sense, with her enthusiasm for life meshing with Sue's hard-working demeanor

Matt - While I know this is about the customers as characters and not real individuals, I have to give a shoutout to Matt for being one of the most genuinely pleasant people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. As a customer, I really dig how he goes full sports fan in his Style B! And for one of the hockey teams no less, you don't see those get much rep in the Flipverse

Mayor Mallow - As far as politician characters go, you have to admit this guy's inherently one of the funnier ones. I mean just look at him! The way is posture tilts so far back, the rosy cheeks he always has, having a big letter M for a belt buckle... I can just tell they were having so much fun when they designed him. Also he loves parades and hates debates, lmao

Mesa - Another no-info KCP winner, so we have to go on design alone for her. And her design really carries her far! She just oozes style, from the top of her mini top hat to the bottom of her fiery patterned dress! And the color orange really elevates the red-black color scheme of her outfit! Dare I say it, her design is strong enough to rival those of the official customers. She deserved her KCP win through and through

Mindy - She's quirkyyy. Love her evolving look throughout the years & how her hair color is always fluid... I wonder if she's ever experimented with being a redhead. Wonder what other hair experiments she's done on herself and her boyfriend, I bet that man's mop was nasty before he met her (honestly the more I think about their dynamic the more I realize just how fun it can get)

Mitch - The funny man!!! Mitch and his messy mess!!! Big fan of how he contrasts with his coworker Maggie, while she's made big things of herself and is very accomplished all Mitch wants to do is eat food like Kenji and go outside. And eat hot chip and lie. The outdoorsman aspect is something I realize I kinda gloss over in my head more often than not

Moe/The Dynamoe - Again, fan favorite characters! I already posted that long and comprehensive speculation on Moe's possible Moe-tivations and the creation of the alter ego Dynamoe, so let's focus more on his design: It was a real stroke of genius to have him turn the color scheme on his head between outfits! Compare that to Joy/Ninjoy, where the red/blue of her work outfit can combine to be the purple of her hero costume... Neat stuff innit? Love his spiffy white gloves too

Mousse - Oniontown's definitely one of the more dingy locations in the Flipverse, and Mousse provides a pretty comprehensive window into that seedy underbelly that hides under the surface of tourism and history. I'd do anything to get official backdrops of the Gingersnap Lounge... The twins also really make themselves known in their orders, always keeping the light/dark food theme consistent between games. Or is it whipped cream/choco mousse theme? Hm

Mr. Bombolony - His name is DOB for crying out loud... He writes PARODY SONGS and SINGS THEM for the morning announcements... And even just his design, that goofy oversized shirt he proudly wears... There isn't a single aspect about this man that isn't absurdly hilarious, and I completely adore him for it. A walking legend. Dob Bombolony, destroyer of worlds and purveyor of DadCringe

Nevada - If I were a member of the Flipverse, I would ABSOLUTELY stop by her storefront and grab me some genuine ocean jewelry. One of the things that I've always liked about Nevada is the way she accessorizes her head specifically—the feathered hairpiece, those tinted glasses, and the double braid of her hair are what make her an icon!

Nick - I've always had a soft spot for Nick. He's just a sorta clumsy kid who loves life on the rapids, sometimes he wears his safety gear and sometimes he doesn't. What you see is what you get with Nick, and that's what I like about him! Also I wonder how he ended up being friends with Mitch, though the two of them being outdoorsy types seems to lead to an obvious conclusion

Ninjoy/Joy - Ahh, what would the Flipverse be without her? I always found it downright fascinating that the vigilante hero of the Flipverse is related to Papa himself by blood. And her distaste for Nowtime News is incredibly interesting too, for all the questions it raises about what the tension is like: Do Duke Gotcha and Shannon have the same beef as the rest of the corporation? How does Nowtime depict The Dynamoe? And what does Joy think about the corporation when she's not busy being Ninjoy? All very intriguing questions that just wouldn't be possible without her, you go girl

Nye - He canonically has a sugar daddy. Straight up, his creator has confirmed that he has a sugar daddy & has created a design for said sugar daddy. That is INSANE especially for what this series is... But enough about that, Nye stands quite well on his own even without that aspect of his character. The Style B he wears does an incredibly excellent job of balancing two different patterns without it becoming overbearing on the design, which is pretty tough to pull off well!

Okalani - Even after the hotbed of controversy that was her flipdeck, I find that Okalani's really a great customer through and through. I just know she has the most wonderful friendship with the other island locals... And you can't deny that her hairstyle is beautiful

Olga - Like I said with Little Ed, the marriage and relationship has gotta be one of the cutest things Flipline's done! And the fact she still wears that wedding dress as her Style B outfit is both amusing and adorable, if I do say so myself

Olivia - They managed to strike a beautiful compromise between goofy and stylish in her design, a trait befitting of her status as the party girl! She's also quite a shining example of how to properly execute an offbeat color scheme, everything comes together really well in both her outfits (and the holiday ones too, but those ones switch the colors up)

Pally - Never gonna be able to forgive the fans for how they treated Pally at first. There isn't a better representative for PLP out there! The gimmick of having outfits from the ingame holiday clothes selection was great at displaying the lesser-used items, but I think Pally really found her true potential when the flipdeck hit the pages—she might just be the most powerful optimist in the whole Flipverse! And I mean the WHOLE Flipverse, across every dimension they have

Papa Louie - The man himself. The FACE of the series. The Italian mustache monopoly man with the pizza procuring prowess... And we really do owe it all to him, Flipline Studios wouldn't be what it is today without him! As a character, I have to say that he's surprisingly versatile. Some depict him as the friendly lovable chef that the universe paints him as, some show him as a despicable greedy crook who throws anyone under the bus at the drop of a hat... And frankly I'm glad that he gets this much variance

Peggy - Country girls make do. Peggy's design might not be the flashiest, but she really does feel authentic as a cowgirl. And it's quite charming how she's like the flagship character for spicy foods, even more so than Ember the firefighter and Mesa the, uh... Fire motif! On top of that, her hairstyle is an interesting one to pick apart as well. I always imagined that her cowgirl activities kick up enough dust to make her hair go stiff, which is why it curls up against gravity like that

Penny - Love her or hate her... Who am I kidding, why would anyone hate her! Even the most jaded of us have to admit that the whole flower motif she has is adorable. And there's also something impressive about her being present in every game in the franchise, all the way back to the original WPA! I wish some of the Youtubers were more normal about her, though... But bemoaning the weirdos isn't what this list is about

Perri - I must say it's quite bold for a cyclist character to never be seen wearing a real helmet, but there's so much more to Perri than just her looks. She lives in a WINDMILL! She bought a windmill and turned it into her HOME! One can only imagine the whimsy that she lives through every day

Petrona - If anyone in this universe deserves the title of girlboss, it's Petrona without a doubt. Her flipdeck may not have been the longest, but it got the job done quickly and efficiently. Much like herself! I like how even her design reflects her no-nonsense attitude and determined work ethic

Pinch Hitwell - Sometimes I think about how the only named baseball player we know of so far is a substitute batter. And how he's apparently a good enough substitute batter to appear on a poster for oatmeal cookies... Also how he doesn't even order oatmeal cookies in that game, despite being on THE POSTER FOR IT alright enough of that tangent. I have to be genuine here, I really consider Pinch one of my favorite customers! There's just something so charming about his looks, his new outfits for each town, and the way he always keeps finding new ways to surprise us

Professor Fitz - Again, no ensemble cast of characters is complete without at least one eccentric scientist! Professor Fitz delivers on every front, from his bow tie to his lightning bolt hair, and the notable tinge of green in his outfit really helps him stand out in the realm of scientist characters. And we can't forget that his title of professor isn't just as a scientist, but as an academic too!

Prudence - People rag on Flipline for having weirder names as the games went on, but she goes to show that odd names have always been at the heart of the series. Her relationship with Pickle is really nice too, very fun to see someone who carries a dog in a bag! For some reason I've always associated her with Elle Woods of Legally Blonde (and vice versa)

Quinn - And here she is, the reigning queen of the closer lineup! Her constant presence as a closer marks her as a familiar face to even the most fledgling greenhorns of the franchise. The vast amount of differing headcanons I've seen for her do well to stimulate the imagination, from the divorce scenarios of the forum to the rom-com fanworks this site has to offer! Whether they revolve around Timm or not, it's always a pleasure to see people's takeaways on such a unique customer

Radlynn - Radish girl radish girl radish girl. As far as the baddie fans trio goes, her position is unique in that she personally MET Radley, and that iconic knit hat was a gift from him to her! There's also something special about how her Style B is literally Radley's very own outfit from his own debut appearance, down to that wide brimmed hat and goggles. That's dedication

Rhonda - Glad to have a real trucker on the character lineup, and as far as trucker characters go, I don't think I've ever seen any quite like her! I don't express it often, but she's definitely one of the higher tier customers in my personal rankings. And her relationship with Rico is by far my favorite official canon pairing!

Rico - Byeah incarnate. His character arc happened humourously quick, with him being a rough biker in his intro and then immediately mellowing out once he hit the shores of Calypso. The chili arc was a great one too, with his recipe making it all the way into the ranks of Papa's very own restaurants! His chili even gets served up at the Pastaria, and they're a very high class establishment so you KNOW his chili is god tier

Ripley - We have a customer directly tied to Munchmore! Hell yeah! Her expeditions were by far one of the most interesting things to happen to the blog since, well... Ever! I really do miss those posts, they were a great way to get a better look at that dimension & Ripley's quirky way of speaking was a sight to behold too

Rita - The forumers have a bad tendency to sell Rita short. While her Burgeria job may be a noted part of her personality, she's also got some extra depths of her own! Like how she straight up moved to Burgerburgh when she won her job, or the way her outfit's slowly evolved over the years. I'm not kidding, that outfit progression is genuinely a sight to behold! And of course how can I not mention the film buff aspect of her personality, considering she's basically the FACE of Sugarplex Film Fest

Robby - This man was stranded on an island for 3 years. It's highly likely he was the only survivor of the shrimp boat capsizing... And how did he emerge from this experience? As a PIRATE! I dare say that's one of my favorite takes I've ever seen on a castaway story

Rollie - Oh, how I love him. There's just something I personally find so charming about Rollie... It might be his outfit, maybe it's his detailed backstory, the Halloween costume definitely factors into it... But one thing is for certain: His status as my all-time favorite customer isn't going anywhere! Keep rollin' on, you magnificent man

Roy - I'd argue he's just as important to the series as Papa is, if not more (at least for the mainline gamerias). The perpetually exhausted heir to the franchise's name, Roy really is much more than a mere delivery boy—he's the wheels that keep the original Pizzeria moving! And I really like how much of his personality comes out in the Style B, he clearly knows how to rock outside of work

Rudy - He's definitely the one who keeps the punk in ska-punk, that's a given. And he also goes to show how even a bassist can be a standout member of a band! Even outside of Scarlett and the Shakers, he's got quite a unique set of circumstances. His flipdeck establishes his deep connection to Powder Point as a town, as well as showing how much he absolutely despises Guy Mortadello above anything or anyone else... It's always funny when a flipdeck lists a character's hates as another established character

Santa - Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Figy Pudding! While it's incredibly funny on its own that Santa is real and casually eats at restaurants in broad daylight in this universe, it's also really funny how his existence means that every customer in this series now has a Ryu number of 2, if you're familiar with that at all. I've known people who want Santa Claus carnally

Sarge Fan - What I find fun about him is that while the other two baddie fans at least have some connection to their respective bosses, Sarge Fan kinda... Doesn't. Radlynn met Radley when she was young, LePete found a crumpled poster of his hero, and Sarge Fan... Nothing happened, he's just like that for some reason! Love a guy who's just an inexplicable little freak. Also he runs the Pop Dart stand in Powder Point when Foodini's off the clock, which is its own little mystery in itself

Sasha - She's part of the school's marching band and debate team, she's an apprentice cheesemaker, she's always got a loving family to fall back on... We have a pretty clear picture of what Sasha's life is like, don't we? And of course there's her notable obsession with the creatures of Munchmore, which seems to imply that her memories from her time there were deeply cherished, formative even

Scarlett - And of course, the face of Scarlett and the Shakers! I really like how it's listed that she hates Pop Music (girl would NEVER be a Swiftie, in fact I bet none of the SatS members are) and how she wears so many different hats as a member of the band, metaphorically. She's the lead singer, she writes all the songs, and she'll even bust out extra instruments when the show calls for them! Talk about a renaissance gal!

Scooter - I remember back when playing the platformers in my youth, she became my go-to character pick because the skateboard was just THAT fun. And I also really groove with her cherrybomb motif! Plus, she's a strong contender for the hardest pose anyone's ever hit in a flipdeck

Shannon - She was Nowtime News before Nowtime News was even a fleshed-out thing! I've always been fond of her eclectic style. Especially how her sweater used to have a mismatched button, I wish they didn't patch that out... Team Gotcha just wouldn't be Team Gotcha without her

Sienna - She is REALLY dedicated to autumn! Even if Thanksgiving gets replaced someday (hopefully), I'll never be able to see her favor any holiday outside of that three-month bracket... She just straight-up is the season of fall incarnate, see? Anyways she's also got quite a backstory on her back, having grown up in Toastwood only to find a new beautiful home in Portallini! Something about the detail that she's struggling to make friends also makes me feel for her, like a window into her personal life

Simone - She's THE lo-fi girl and don't you forget it! One thing I always liked about her is how her outfit and hairstyle look like something straight out of the Sims future expansion pack, if that's anything to go off of. Gives her a really pointed vibe, it does! And let's not forget how the meaning of her name is "listening", to go alongside Didar's meaning of sight and vision—they did their name research!

Skip - There's a lot of things I like about Skip. His ever-present love for pistachios, his trait of being a tailgating football fan, heck even the way they designed his stubble... But above it all, what I really think is the best part of Skip is the tenderness that he has deep down, shown by his care of Pastrami. Rat owners tend to be mistreated by their peers, just as the animal itself is strongly associated as being a pest to be eraticated, so the fact that he proudly carries Pastrami everywhere shows that Skip has true compassion that shines beyond the hatred and intolerance of the world around him... And for that, I can't help but love him

Skyler - Remnants of Skystone may be long lost media at this point, but I'm glad that we got Skyler out of it! On top of being references to the now-gone MMO, her outfits are absolutely stunning on their own, quite unlike anything any of the other customers have. There's also the touch of her being a jewelry student who uses her talents for steampunk cosplay, which is a fabulous way of making it make sense in-universe!

Sprinks the Clown - I've always had something of a deep respect for those who pursue a career in clown performance, even having dreamed of such a thing as a youth myself. So I may have something of a soft spot for a working clown like Sprinks, sue me. I quite like how they explained her Style B as her dedication to the craft even on her worst days, which I also find really admirable! You have to be strong to be a clown, and she's certainly stronger than I could ever be

Steven - While his looks are deceivingly simple, his creator left a paragraph that really defined how I perceive the man. I believe it was implied that he plays in a punk-metal band at night, which is already pretty badass on its own! Seems to be supported by his consistent favoring of Groovstock, which is pretty good attention to detail from Matt and Tony. Steven's bio also mentioned that he has a "hot chest" multiple times, for whatever that's worth...

Sue - The second half of the whole that is MarySue, Sue is a true powerhouse of a character. I have to compliment how well they work as a couples dynamic, with Sue's irritability and Mary's general exuberance, I can easily imagine how Mary helps to relieve the daily stress that Sue endures while Sue helps keep Mary grounded in reality... Even if we don't explicitly see it, they really do have great chemistry!

Taylor - Taylor's probaly one of the best classic customers in the set, franky speaking. I do appreciate how his outfits contain remnants of bygone eras, such as his walkman in the Style A and the power glove in the Style B... Really goes to show how long this series has been around, hm? And I really love how they accomplished the earbud effect by utilizing the back hair sprites!

Timm - I'll be damned, he's fantastic! He's definitely made his mark around here, what with the association with Quinn & all the baggage that comes with that. And I do often think about his "very manly perm" alongside his prominently displayed chest hair... Put that in your pipe and smoke it, eh?

Tohru - While I may have had my qualms with her general reception, I cannot deny that Tohru is a very solid character in her own right. I gotta respect the fact that she's a stage crew member, of course, and her being a let's player opens up a world of possibilities for fun gaming scenarios to put her in. And her design, of course! I really do adore the button motif they gave her in the Bakeria refresh, and her updated pigtails are honestly a real treat to look at. And the color scheme's great too

Tony - Aside from being the creative genius behind all these characters, Tony's a pretty fun customer to have around himself! Love love LOVE that Mothman costume, and how it pushes the boundaries of what can be done in the Flipline artstyle. I also find it fun how you can customize the length of his hair once you unlock both his styles

Treble - They were a star ever since they first appeared! Gotta say that them receiving their flipdeck in the eleventh hour of pride month was one hell of a clutch. Flipline did a really good job on the characterization front, I don't think any of us were expecting them to be an auto shop high schooler but I'm not complaining! Only makes the alt-punk outfit more poignant, really

Trishna - Fashionista! As a customer, she adds distinct flavor to the Whiskview Mall employee lineup while still managing to fit in with the general vibe. She also absolutely nails the fashionista angle, from the casual Style A to her over-the-top elegant Style B! And you gotta love that custom phone case she touts in that flipdeck pic

Utah - Being the only non-closer Calypso Island native in the original Freezeria, Utah definitely had an important impact in her debut appearance. I theorize that's how she became such a popular customer in the first place... One thing I like is how pink lemonade quickly became one of her defining characteristics, I mean just look at her Wendy's Wheels kart! Oh, and she absolutely killed it in her Summer Luau exclusive outfit... I dare say it's even better than her regular styles

Vicky - It's been said before but I have to reiterate it, Vicky haters are the weakest link. She's got impeccable style, she's got mom cred with Mindy, and she maaay not have that much talent as a makeup artist but we still love her just the same! I really do find it wholesome how she and her daughter both run the salon, a true family business that it is

Vincent - And speaking of family business! Always ready with the customer coupon and Style B deliveries, it's easy to get familiar with his recurring face. And apparently vice versa, considering he goes all across the globe for his deliveries & remembers EVERYONE'S name that he meets... Honestly that's kind of insane when you wrap your head around it! One thing I found surprising is that the bag he wears is entirely removable with the right tools, and doing so reveals that his jacket had a secret zipper all along... The intricacies of the character models never cease to amaze

Wally - The Mayonnaise Man himself, where do we even begin... Well, how about his fishing history? Ever since his debut, he's always had an association with fish, with the whole anchovy thing kind of being the entire basis of his flipdeck. Fishing is clearly in his blood, with what we see in his Style B alluding to either a hobby or a history as a fisherman, probably both... Yeah yeah I know, I've said it a thousand times already, but the hidden depths of these characters really do go a very long way.

Wendy - She's so cool! Even the two-tone plastic frame glasses start looking a little badass when she sports 'em, not easy to do that! And we gotta give her the respect she deserves for being the driving force behind all these Wendy's Wheels updates, which remain to this day the greatest ongoing blog feature (not counting sneak peeks)

Whiff - He may have bad posture and an odd expression, but that shouldn't get in the way of his worth as a customer, should it? For what it's worth, the man's outfit really compliments his character, and you're just flat-out lying if you deny how hard he rocks the tattoos! Like come on, they're gummeels! And considering the artstyle, you have to admit that it's pretty funny that he hates leg day when nobody has any legs

Whippa - The other Oniontown twin, let's see. I talked about the twins' info with Mousse, so let's shine more of a spotlight on their designs this time. Love 'em! Love how their opaque shades build them up as threatening people from the get-go, love how their outfit patterns are shared between styles, and it's quite good how they're both essentially the skinniest twigs to walk the Flipverse so far. Whippa in particular really goes above and beyond with her outfit, that slick white hairstyle absolutely slams down! And the Style B, oh good LORD that is one hell of a slick Style B

Willow - There's always gotta be a goth girl, hum? As far as goths go, I appreciate the unique angle they went for with Willow! They weren't afraid to go all out with the teal, and her Style B only goes farther with the bright colors! Her flipdeck info serves a good deal too, she's a very shy poet and she cares for her pet tarantula Jackie very dearly. Speaking of, Jackie! The greatest pet in the whole Flipverse, bar none, even past the likes of Smokie and Pastrami

Wylan B - Y'know, there's some kind of subtle nuance in the way both he and his dad try a little too hard to be seen as "cool" that comes back around to being cringe, but both in generationally different ways. A neat touch all things considered... Also that Style B goes absolutely INSANE

Xandra - Weirdgirl representation! While there's plenty to be said about her and her brother's place in the universe, this is still about their strengths as indiviuals. One thing Xandra has over her brother is her fabulous tutu and the makeup to match! Plus, her clown costume is kind of just generally better than Xolo's

Xolo - As for things that Xolo leads the race in, one need not look farther than his magical fantabulous scarf! Really, I think that it's one of his best features, alongside those rockstar-like torn sleeves. Definitely paints him as the rougher, tougher side of the family... Also, his pants being all patched up with patches connects him to his foster mother Edna in a really cute way

Yippy - Cookie Scouts! We know about them thanks to her. She's really a lot more hardworking than she seems on the surface, given how she somehow makes enough money as a cookie scout to visit the restaurants as often as the grown-up regulars do. And her Creameo belt buckle wass a very inspired choicie to go along her cookie theme

Yui - I'm not entirely sure what official information for her is out there to be honest, but even without it, she's a very strong customer! Her orders certainly make a strong impression, and that Style B of hers might just be one of the greatest Style Bs ever put to a KCP contestant!

Yuko - Hey, the first customer to carry around a prop! That parasol of hers is probably one of my favorite design decisions done to a recent customer, especially how it makes her Style B shine like the sun! Her info was also quite full of surprises, such as how she's the mother of Prudence and how she was one of the original Pizzeria apartment residents. Can't wait to meet Espen!

Zoe - Last but certainly not least, my favorite hippie! Speaking of props, I really love the way that she always has her guitar on her. And that beautiful paisley pattern that decorates her outfit really adds to her design too! I do like how her dream in life isn't anything overly ambitious or grandiose, she just wants to own a coffee shop and support the arts with it. Truly a good person to the core, she is! And her fear of heights is a very interesting cherry on top

That took a couple days, but it was fun! Really worth the effort. Can you tell how passionate about this series and all its characters

[delusionsofspace]

Hi I'm unwell. Another long post probably, thank you @es46 for giving me an idea !! click readmore for accidental aroace rants plus some silly shenanigans (the aroace rants happened on accident my bad)

So I one million percent agree that Ingo and Emmet would probably clock Elesas crush right away, even if they are aroace themselves, they see Elesa as a sister basically and know how she is (useless lesbian (she is bisexual w/ a woman leaning preference)) I definitely think of them as a trio who grew up together so they probably watched her go through her awkward teen years getting crushes on every pretty woman who was nice to her, but Skyla is a different situation obviously so they mutually agree to come at it from a different angle this time, much to Elesas dismay

I think Emmet would be super direct about it but think he's being slick because he isn't SAYING what he really means, right? But saying "I am asking for no reason in particular if you are single and also into women :>" and then dropping a "thank you for answering my random question that has no ulterior motive!" and Skyla would be like . Uh huh. Okay . (I don't know her personality SUPER well but I know she and the twins have slight beef over the more superior form of transportation planes v trains)

Emmet would also definitely try to be a "just go for it why are you so scared??" kinda guy because his concept of romance is heavily based on how he's seen it in media, but he hates watching it so it's really only the stuff he can't avoid? So hes like "obviously most relationship drama comes from not confessing so just get that part over with before it causes an issue" and doesn't ENTIRELY understand the nuance of being scared of rejection even if the other person seems interested (as well as adding on the sapphic problem of "is she flirting or just Really Friendly?")

I think Ingo is a little (lot) more empathetic than Emmet, not on purpose I just think Emmet genuinely lacks empathy and forgets to make up for it with sympathy at times, Elesa doesn't take it personally, but Ingo is absolutely a little more in tune to a social situation being stressful

Ingo, though, is also painfully aroace and his concept of love and romance is less whst you see in (straight) media and moreso in how he's defined it personally as somebody whose never felt it . He imagines it feels different from how he cares about Elesa, but she has to explain it's not that easy to really differentiate, because to love somebody you also usually love them a lot platonically as well as romantically. And that would absolutely perplex him just a smidge, because he sees love as this unreachable thing for him that's so distinct from everything else when it's really not. People just hype it up so much because of how it feels in the moment, but in reality it's actually rather difficult to define and Ingo thrives off precise definition.

He would encourage her to go for it, maybe a bit too obviously at times (no Ingo, deciding to loudly exclaim that you and your brother have somewhere to be, conveniently leaving Elesa alone with Skyla is not slick as you think it is!)

Ingo and Emmet would also absolutely try to set aside whatever feelings they have on Skyla and fully support Elesa in her relationship until the 4 actually managed to start getting along naturally, which happens eventually, it just takes time because the twins are very stubborn

It would absolutely lead to scenarios though where the twins are just a bit too pushy out of love and Elesa would probably have to tell them to back off, because romance is finicky and you have to let it happen naturally or else things get janky. I don't think they would fully get it until put into a train metaphor though

"If you try and run a train before the tracks fully built, or the engine is installed properly, even if it goes somewhere for a little while it likely won't reach it's destination" and they both go ohhhh.

Honestly I think that metaphor Ingo would come up with on the spot in an attempt to relate or process what Elesa is trying to explain, and then once they hear it everything clicks much better and they back off from trying to "speed things up", though in true assholeish brother-y nature, they have to bully her juuuust a little bit (Emmet going "WOW ELESA your face sure is red, is it too hot in here? Maybe you and Skyla should step outside for some fresh air :>" and Elesa making a strangling motion with her hands while Ingo is fighting off a laugh.

I do think that it would earn some laughs once Skyla and Elesa are actually together, and Skyla would probably have to drop the fact that she was painfully aware of the brothers attempts to push them together, much to Elesas horror

[telomeke]

POLL TAG – FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS

I was tagged by @lurkingshan (at this post linked here) and @pickletrip (at this post linked here). Thanks dearies! 🥰

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Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite.

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I'm sticking to BLs as well, because the field would be far too wide otherwise (can you imagine a poll with Dolly Levi, Buffy Summers, Joe Rossi from Lou Grant, Lady Deathstrike from X-Men 2, any one of the Golden Girls, Erik Killmonger from Black Panther the movie, the Beastmaster and cartoon Aladdin? 🤣).

Anyway, I don't watch all that much BL (not compared to the majority of people here on BL Tumblr, who have watchlists longer than Babe's wig when he was Wansarat in The Sign). So that narrows the field considerably for me – and my list has some likely suspects, including an unbreakable pairing, and also one highly unusual choice. But I'll explain my choices after the poll itself:

Why these characters? Here's my spiel:

PatPran (Bad Buddy)  I've combined these two as a single choice, because obviously they go together (and so well too). But really, I would have loved to have listed them separately, because I have different reasons for loving them. Pat is just an all-round good guy, hopelessly optimistic, generous and so giving; he thinks of others before himself (and if both partners in a couple do that, well, you then have a mutually-reinforcing relationship). Pran I love because I can see so much of myself in him, from his tics and foibles, his interests, to his struggles finding his courage and growing into his own identity.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)  In a lot of ways, what Li Ming was going through in MLC paralleled some of my own experiences when I was a teen his age. If only they'd had MLC or something similar for teenage me to have watched growing up! Li Ming was somehow able to navigate the pressures of becoming someone true to himself (something that Pran, and I too in my teens, struggled with) while dealing with real world issues at the same time (economic hardship in Li Ming's case, while in mine it was general teen angst and family stress). He didn't let life get to him, and he stayed the course, knowing his own self-worth even when others were telling him to scale back his expectations (Uncle Jim and Heart's parents). Lessons in there for all LGBTQ+ teens, and Khun Noppharnach's socially-conscious BLs should be given more credit for the positive role models they portray and how they help the younger set. Plus Fourth did an excellent job bringing Li Ming to life (thanks in part I think to Director Aof's guidance; Fourth's Atom in My Love Mix-Up Thailand is a lot less grounded and authentic, at least from what I've seen in the first couple of episodes).

Porsche (KinnPorsche)  This entry is just for fun. KinnPorsche was a wild ride, whacking us with whiplash at every turn, and Porsche was emblematic of that experience. Cool, sexy martial arts fighter in one episode, total buffoon at the mercy of sprinklers, piss-allergic carp and mermaid costumes in others. Apo gamely played along, and he can do both slick action and slapstick comedy well, so watching Porsche always brought a smile to my face. Whether it was seducing Kinn with pappy supermarket bread, or warding off ghosts with a penis amulet, you never knew what craziness was in store next with this character. Pure entertainment.

Adachi (Cherry Magic)  Adachi charmed the briefs off me the moment the lift doors went CLANG!!! on him while he was distracted with whatever it was that was speedrunning through his head again. Such a lovable doofus, always surprised by whatever situation he managed to stumble into. Eiji Akaso is really good-looking, but he didn't care about image and happily took all the pratfalls in his stride. He somehow managed to imbue Adachi's clumsy clownery with a strange sense of dignity (helped along, I suppose, by the fact that we could also hear Adachi's inner monologue, allowing us to see the innocent good-heartedness within).

Dissaya (Bad Buddy)  This is the odd one out. Pran's mom was hated by so many fans during Bad Buddy's run, who blamed her for ruining Pran's life in many ways. And it's true her own hang-ups wrought havoc on Pran's relationship with the world outside. But for someone with so few scenes, I think she's actually one of the more complex characters in Bad Buddy, with a turbulent backstory that explains how her own relationship with the world got so warped. My read is that everything she did, including sending Pran away in high school, was done out of love for her beloved only son and motivated by a desire to protect him at all costs. She was a smothering, over-protective mother to be sure, but I think the lady just didn't know any better, and the last two episodes of Bad Buddy really do invite us to rethink our earlier appraisals of her. It wasn't easy doing Dissaya's character study based on the fairly scant details we got (write-ups linked here and here), but they were enough for me to glean an understanding of who I think she is. And I think in the end she is someone worthy of respect, so I do tip my hat out of respect for her. It's also obvious Pran loves her dearly, as much as she loves him back. And I think I trust Pran's judgement of character on this one. 😍

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Onward tagging:

@neuroticbookworm, @colourme-feral, @airenyah, @wen-kexing-apologist, @solitaryandwandering

I really want to tag more, but this game limits us to five so these are just five people tagged at random. If I haven't tagged you but you'd like to play, please do so (knowing that I want to tag everyone and then some)! And please tag me if you play, so that I can read and vote on your poll too. 😍

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[thatbanditqueen]

Under Appreciated Elvis

What is your favorite underappreciated Elvis Presley character and why? If you’ve been on tumblr Elvis fandom for five minutes, you’ve seen the Vinces, the Dannys, the Dekes, the Tulsas, the Chads, the Luckys... the Dr. Carpenters and the Walter Hales... but Elvis was in 33 (?) movies.... what is a character you love that you feel like doesn’t get enough play, respect or attention? And why? Respond, reblog, or send me photos and GIFs and all your thirsty reasons.... no film is off limits....

Mine is Jodie Tatum.... I love blonde backwoods Elvis, I love the jeans, flannel and hiking boots, I like how rough around the edges he is, the way the first thing he tells everyone is that he is the champion wrestler of the mountain, because to him that is something to brag about, and how he just melts when he meets PFC Midge Riley and pursues her balls out without trying to play any games with her.... he is just a much more interesting, sweet little boy grumpy man character to me than the slick, leather-glove wearing Josh... although, and I know I’ve posted about this, the scenes of Josh in that white jean ‘fit singing bout how he love two little girls... ugh, I feel like I’m in a therapy session confessing my fucked up kinks.. Kissin’ Cousins has a lot of cringey horrible ridiculous moments, it was the first movie after the Colonel realized he could maximize profits by reducing the production budget. And it shows. It is so easy for me to see all the work arounds to cut costs that they did. But I love this movie because it still manages to have some of my favorite moments despite everything, and if you come to my blog regularly, you know I am a champion of popular culture for girls, elvis, and trash...

OK, enough about me, what is your favorite under appreciated Elvis character, and why, bonus points if you have a favorite scene that makes you tingle... here is one of mine from Kissin’ Cousins...

taglist: @whositmcwhatsit @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @from-memphis-with-love @powerofelvis @missmaywemeetagain @coolgirl462 @vintageshanny @loving-elvis @marriedtopresley just tagging a few people i think would be into this but please everyone who wants participate!!!

[ftstorm]

Do we all agree that TROP is the best fantasy show that's been out in quite a while? Because, yo, this second season is so slick! It's been polished, the plot is solid, the characters are solid, the sway in their morals are solid, the direction is solid, the costumes are solid, the SFX... well those are good enough...

And suddenly I have a lot of characters I root for!

Elrond, probably the most righteous elf (has touched the rings and hasn't been completely swayed by their power). He also looks like Orlando Bloom in Troy (+100 points). And he's kinda being set up as either a one-sided love tripe or an enemies-to-lovers trope with Galadriel. The interesting thing is that... as much as he appreciates Galadriel, his morals are above those feelings, which is what sets him apart from Galadriel.

Galadriel is the opposite, she has very high morals too but she weighs down her emotions too at the moment of making a decision. That being said, I'm a woman and I totally get her and I so cheer for her to process her wounded heart by taking down the greatest evil of their time... Ugh, I mean... ✨ I root for her to find peace ✨ 🕊️ (I could write a whole post about Galadriel alone)

Durin, that grumpy but lovely dwarf. His incredibly brave for choosing to be vulnerable with his father by finally going to him. And the simplicity of his heart is such strong shield/weapon. Instead of using the word simple, maybe it's about his inability to be anything else but a transparent soul. That transparency (aka purity) helped him see through Annatar's lies right away. This is why I love honest and/or transparent people, their sense of justice is so instinctive.

Where Elrond thinks through everything to see if it fits in his morals, which tend for goodness, Durin just knows it by instinct. Either way, they both end up reaching similar thoughts through different thinking process.

And then, I cannot wait for when Isildur's party meet with Galadriel's. That little party for some reason feels like the heaviest one in terms of emotional cost (yeah, cost). I haven't felt as much pain in any other character (except maybe Elrond and Durin) as I felt in those few scenes with Arondir! Is it the actor?? Why do I feel every little emotion he shows on screen? His grief is... palpable. And that somehow makes Isildur's and Theo's grief more earth grounded too. So yes, I'm rooting for their party.

AND The Stranger, Nori and Poppy's party... Probably the one group that will have the final say in the upcoming battles (whenever the Stranger manages to control his magic). They have the exact amount of lighthearted adventure story to cut off all the drama going on in the rest of the plot. There's not one scene with them that I haven't enjoyed.

So yeah, I'm highly enjoying this second season. This is how you tell story about empire's complots, forces of good and evil, characters having to make decisions, characters that aren't directly in the conflict but there's been hints that they will be for sure involved.

This is how you tell a complex fantasy story.

[meiliarotten]

Team Fortress 2 Kinktober Time

Day 2: Desk Toy (Toys)

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

Pairings: Spy x Fem!Reader

Summary: Gonna be honest with y’all, I didn’t bother with summaries for a lot of these when I originally posted them on ao3. So- how about a fun fact! This was the first Spy x Reader I ever wrote!

Tags: Overstimulation, toys, praise, kinda exhibitionism?

Word Count: 1.1k

The Masterlist

You gripped the edge of the desk until your knuckles went white, doubling over as another orgasm wracked your body. A sob-like moan ripped from your throat as you clenched around the unforgiving silicon within you, held firmly to the desk with a suction cup at its base. A sweet mix of pleasure and overstimulation washed over you, so thoroughly that you felt like you could drown in it.

And in front of you sat the conductor and sole viewer of the entire lewd display. Spy leaned back in a luxurious, expensive looking chair. He watched you with a steady gaze. The only sign that he was enjoying himself at all was the obvious tent in his pants, which he had ignored in favor of watching you ruin yourself on the fancy toy he had bought.

It was a small but thick dildo made from pitch black silicon, curved in just the right places. Spy had proudly showed off its best aspects, boasting that he had purchased it just for you. Of course, you were eager to try it out with him. You just hadn’t expected it to play out like this.

“Aw, tired?” Spy asked, faux pity in his tone and gaze as he looked you over. “I did not say you could stop though, did I?”

You had lost track of how many times you had orgasmed long ago, and the ache of overstimulation seemed to invade every nerve of your body. However, Spy continued to push you onward. He met your gaze with an expectant look. He wasn’t about to offer you any respite.

So, with some effort, you continued to thrust yourself down onto the toy, ignoring the pervasive ache in your core. Part of you wondered if you would even be able to make yourself come again at this point. You were so wet, your slick ran down the sides of the toy, copious enough to drip down onto the dark wood below.

“Look at you, making such a mess of yourself, ma bonne fille,” Spy said. You flushed at his words, wondering how he could remain so casual while saying such filthy things to you.

You simply moved faster, plunging the toy into yourself with renewed determination. You desperately chased yet another orgasm, trying to focus on your own feelings rather than Spy and his ever attentive gaze. Still, he managed to worm his way into your thoughts.

“Tell me, what are you thinking of right now?” Spy asked, almost as if he could read your mind.

“What?” You asked with a gasp, pausing and allowing the dizzying sensations to ebb away for just a moment.

“What are you thinking about as you bounce on that toy, mon amour?” Spy asked, a bit more firmly this time.

You stammered as you answered, struggling to think clearly, and in the end you were only able to get out one coherent word; “You.”

Spy simply nodded, waving his hand in a gesture that seemed to mean that he wanted you to go on, to be a bit more specific .

“I’m thinking about you,” you gasped, putting in immense effort to speak coherently between moans. “I’m thinking about you finally letting me get off of this damn thing and fucking me yourself!”

Again, all you received in response was a nod, and perhaps a grin if you squinted. It was frustrating to see him looking so calm and collected, despite his obvious arousal. You couldn’t imagine the effort and self control it must have taken for him to ignore his own needs for so long like this. He ordered you to make a mess of yourself over and over again for his viewing pleasure, only to sit there and observe you as if you were a mildly interesting film.

“Spy, please,” you begged, your movements starting to slow down as your strength began to dwindle. “I don’t think I can keep going.”

“Here chérie, let me help,” Spy said, and with that, he stood from his seat for the first time since this ordeal began. He paced around the desk to stand behind you. A gentle hand on your shoulder pulled you so that you were leaning back slightly. You wavered for a moment, trying to look behind you to the edge of the desk.

“Don’t worry dear, I won’t let you fall,” Spy said, his other hand resting on your back, promising to hold you steady.

You took a deep breath, facing forward again and grinding down against the toy when Spy told you to. A pang of genuine pleasure was felt through the haze of overstimulation when hit your g-spot. A choked moan tore from your throat as you thrust yourself down, focusing on that sensitive area.

“Ah bonne, that is a good spot, no?” Spy said, laughing softly as he heard your moans reach a sudden peak.

“Oh god, yes,” you said, moving faster with renewed strength and vigor.

“Oui, there’s the enthusiasm I wanted to see!” Spy said, beginning to caress your body. You sighed at the feeling of gloved hands traveling over your bare skin, teasing at your breasts and other erogenous areas. Eventually, his hands came to rest on your hips, gently guiding your movements.

“You’re doing so very well. Are you going to come soon?” He asked, close enough that his breath could be felt against the back of your neck. It sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yes, oh fuck!” you became almost unintelligible as you desperately ground your hips downward, chasing your climax.

“That’s right chérie, come for me, just like that,” Spy said, chuckling at your rapidly dwindling control. One of his arms weaved around your waist, his hand reaching down to rub at your clit. The rich feeling of leather clad fingers proved to be enough to tip you over the edge.

Once again, you writhed on the toy, your hands scrabbling to anchor yourself on smooth wood, eventually clutching the edges of the desk. Spy caressed you and pressed soothing kisses to the nape of your neck as you rode out your orgasm, and when you had finally come down from the high, he carefully hoisted your body up and off of the toy. Almost immediately, you collapsed onto your side, legs dangling off the side of the desk.

"Très bien. You’ve done such a good job for me, ma belle chérie,” he crooned, still petting and traversing the curves of your body with his hands.

“Thank you,” you stammered, relishing the feeling of leather gloves smoothing over your skin.

“However…”

You didn’t even get the chance to register that last word when you were suddenly rolled onto your back to face Spy, barely managing to hold yourself upright by your still trembling arms. He grinned down at you, and you saw the lust in his eyes, the lust that he had been keeping tight reins on throughout this whole ordeal, until now. You watched with an intoxicating mix of eagerness and trepidation as he unzipped his fly.

“Surely, you can handle just one more round, darling?”

[capsensislagamoprh]

CHA 3

“When you said I could come along, I didn’t know I would be carrying your gear and moving lights,” Victor groused.

“How else was I supposed to get you in,” Christophe grinned. “It’s not like anyone can just wander on and off the set.”

“Outdoor setting is a location, not a set,” Victor mumbled, trying to be right about something. His morning had been pretty basic. Rise. Skin care, hair care. Two hours - one for each. Beauty is upkeep! Dressing, forty five minutes. One must accessorize properly! His look doesn't just create itself! Then breakfast of a decadent croissant from the most delightful bakery by the apartment, washed down with a vanilla latte`. Christoph washed his pastry down with rooibos, sturing in a touch of honey to sweeten it up. They then got into the Miata and drove. Today’s shoot was for children’s clothes, taking advantage of the whimsical nature of Paris’ many highlights. Wrot iron, the Eiffel Tower, Lurve, streets made of old stone, and niche locations. All within a few blocks of each other whenever possible. 

It was an interesting side of the fashion world. Most were concerned with avant garde, couture, or stage costumes for high end productions. Victor wanted to see his designs out there, making people feel beautiful, special, even on the worst days. He wanted someone to reach into their wardrobe, pull out that one special piece and know the feel of it on their body would get them through the roughest day because they knew they were not only comfortable, but fashionable. There was just something about how the touch of cashmere or the pull of silk could change the way one thinks. But first he had to pay his dues.

Christophe had some of the best assistants twitching lighting, fixing props, lining up markers. Paris itself seemed to adjust to him. Crowds dissipated, birds flew at artful angels, and the sun kissed just the right part of every model. Victor was amazed by the way he managed to walk casually through any scene, clicking his camera until the city noises were overwritten by the sound of another moment being captured in time. They looked over the shots between changes of clothes and models, keeping the children busy so as to avoid boredom and antsy guardians.

The street-wear line was fun, playful, full of youthful vigor. When they changed over to the more elegant, formal designs, the models did too. Dark haired girls with luminous eyes, boys with elegant cuts mocking adult slide backs, slick at the sides and tapered to look upscale. Accessories changed to watches that were less Swatch and more metallic. Some seemed to be casually dressed as tinny ideals, while others were fantastical. Few stood out, being nervous or a little too full of themselves.

Christophe watched the world through his lens, waiting to strike. Victor saw a few potential stars starting to shine, caught in the flair of his lens, but only one seemed to carry that shimmering quality that would take them from childhood through the cruelty of puberty and into adulthood with all their beauty intact. A fairy-like boy, very young and very serious. When asked to turn, he turned. When asked to be whimsical, he stood tall, arms stretched to the sky before doing a jeté with ease. He leaned against a lamp post, the billowing sleeves of his cooler colored shirt, polka dotted with puffs of thread a sheer overlay for the thin undershirt pressed into his thin frame, white shorts cut in an arch at the thigh, white tights tucked into ballet flats. His golden hair picked up the echoes of sunset as he looked towards the Tower. Victor could almost see the fairy wings that were not there. Christophe must have seen it too. He took more pictures of the boy in his many outfits than the others. He just pulled them off better, seeming to look at home in anything they threw at him. The casual play line clothes earlier were tried on him. As he darted about the darkening streets, arms thrown behind him in a playful run, eyes to the sky, his smile just a little melancholic, Victor felt what Christophe saw. Ethereal took a lot of work, but when you came across it naturally, you worked with it until it could do no more.

The boy wore what was asked, changed as many times as needed. He went through hair style after hair style, make-up touches, and did not complain when he received little to no break for four hours of grueling activity. But those smiles. Those melancholic smiles. No filter in the world could make that smile true.

As they were wrapping up for the day, Christoph looked over the stills, picking and choosing with rapid efficiency. As he stretched his aching back, he turned to see how the clean up was going. The boy was crouched down, hand low, a street cat slowly approaching. Quickly he snapped some candids. These would be great for his school portfolio. He didn’t even need a release, as anything he took while working was free game, and since the boy was still wearing the hair and make up style from the last shoot, he figured that counted.

Soon, the boy was picked up. Christophe turned back to the dailies, while Victor stared for a moment. “I could get used to living here,” he sighed as the man in the ass hugging jeans took the boy's hand, leading him to a silver Lexus. Popping his head up, Christophe smiled.

“Ah, Paris! De tels trésors abondent dans la ville de l'amour.”

“I don’t know about l’amour, but definitely… how to say, strast'?” Victor tapped his temple a few times. “Passion!”

“There’s passion and there’s lasciveté. What you have, mon ami, is a need to release.”

Victor raised a brow, his lips twitching into a smile. “You can’t blame me for looking.”

“Can’t I?” Christophe purred.

“Heartless tease.”

_______

CHA 4

They sat together looking over stills, images caressed by just the right amount of light and ones born of miserable reflections captured in lens flares and ill timed background elements. “You could adjust them,” Victor offered quietly.

Christophe looked scandalized. “I will do no such thing. When making some elements it is fine, the amount of adjustment these images will need? Non. When creating art it is never a good idea to bring dishonesty to your piece. The human can tell, even if they don’t know what the lie is.”

Leaning against the wall in the antechamber between his bedroom and the bath, he sighed. “It’s not that hard, right? You have the skill, da?”

“I have the skill, but correcting these is … It’s like seeing a blurry, pixelated Monet and asking a toddler to make it better. You can’t replicate that look of melancholy, the way the sun caught his hair, the way the clothes seemed to float around him. I’m telling you, Vita, that kid is magic. There’s something about him.” Christophe threw himself backwards in his chair, sending both it and him sliding back a few feet. “Something special, and I almost captured it.”

“Comrad, you have so many other images of him. Look, in this one he’s even smiling.”

“It’s plastic, Vita. Can’t you see it? Here.” Christophe pulled himself back towards the computer. “Look at how there is no light in his eyes. Too many teeth, shoulders are tense.”

“You see all that?” Victor looked again, trying to find the signs the photographer noted. To him the child looked happy, well dressed and fed, other children surrounding him just as pleasant and cheerful. He saw children playing a game with chalked out squares and a rock. It seemed like the kind of thing all advertisers ached for. An air of youthful relevance combined with age old money. It practically commanded people to buy what was shown without being too obvious about it. At least not until the company plastered their brand on the page with a massive scrawl across the pleasant scene.

“I do. I see a lot of things through the lens. A lot of very secret things.”

“Voyeur.”

Christophe smiled. “Have you considered using those exceptional skills at flattery on that man with the tight ass?”

Victor blinked, his blue eyes vacant as he tried to recall who Christophe was talking about. When he remembered his cheeks turned pink, his eyes sparkling. “If he shows up again, I just might.”

“Flirt.”

Victor gasped. “You? Call me a flirt?” He grinned. “Flatterer.”

A deep chuckle mingled with the light, airy sounds of laughter as they felt tension leave them with the faint breath of gentle comradery. Finally, Christophe turned from the computer, having saved the files, ready to take them in the next day for approval and printing. “So,” he smiled, deep burr fairly purring the word, “What plans do you have for the evening?”

“Dinner, I suppose. I should work on that desk, and I need to get some more boxes unpacked…” Victor sighed. “I need to put together my start of semester portfolio.”

“Victor! You should already have that completed,” Christophe chided.

“I did, but then I moved, and I didn’t want things ruined, so I …” A vague gesture to the many tubes and flat pack boxes with reinforced edges stacked in various piles gave depth to the weight of the problem. “Now I have to find everything again.”

“Oh, min vän. You start sorting this,” Christophe stood, wiggling his fingers at the daunting task, “and I’ll order something. We can make a night of it.”

Victor’s shoulders dropped as his knees bent back. “Must we?”

“Min kärlek, vi måste. There is no time like last week. Today will have to do.” Slipping through the door to the bathroom, disappearing through another, the tall blond was off, leaving Victor to stare down the many packages wanting his attention.

By the time Christophe returned with lobster bisque, fresh salad, and the crispiest chunks of crackling bread Victor had the privilege to break diet for, he was more than ready for the wine that accompanied it. He’d found several of his more necessary sketches wrinkled by box shift during the move. A few of his fabrics were naked, ripped, or had holes that made it very clear what postal thought of the extra money he’d paid to have them expressed and marked ‘KHRUPKIY’. All those rubbles down the proverbial drain.

“Oh, Victor. These photos. Did you mean for them to be so…” Christophe tried not to wrinkle his nose, he really did. Victor looked over sharply.

“Oh! Oh no! Net! Net, no, no, net, no!” Victor slipped between English and Russian in his frustration. The whole album was sticky, as if someone had spilt a sugar drink, carelessly pushing the package along without a care. His hands found his hairline, tugging great tufts of silver pale locks.  His whole fashion line from his previous collections was represented in those photos. Photos he would need for his classes, for reference, for the memories. “Christophe! Chris, comrade! Can they be saved?”

The Swedish man winced as he tried to unstick a few pages. Looking at the box of supplies they’d found earlier, Christophe rummaged until he found the pressure blade he’d spied earlier. Carefully he cut the picture free of its sheath, only for it to make a puckering, Velcro sound that caused every fiber of his being to shiver in distaste. Catching the pale cheeked face of his friend, his blue eyes so wide with the edge of desperation and hope, Christophe braced himself. Turning the photo to the light, the damage was clear. Colors peeled off, micro tears deformed some of the image. It was coated in what smelled like cola, which was clearly eating into the integrity of the paper. Victor’s throat dropped to his thighs, hands slack at his side. “What am I going to do?”

These photos were useless now. He’d not been able to get the originals, only prints. The photographer he’d worked with had refused to give up his claim, wanting exorbitant amounts of money Victor simply didn’t have. Someone’s carelessness cost him over a fourth of his portfolio.

“Do you still have the clothes?” Christophe asked, looking at the many unpacked boxes.

“I … yes, most of them. Some were sold to pay for my travel.”

“Bien. Here is what we’re going to do…”

cha 1&2

[wizardlyvassal]

big ranty post incoming because I've been thinking a lot about slick and just how different of a character he is from b1 jack noir and how interesting it all is

jack, is an avatar of destruction, his nature as a dersite makes it so he opposes creation by the very design of the game but slick's character is deeply tied to creation, he's the only exile we see in the story who actually manages to pull off the rebuilding society in a post-sburb planet, he names himself after one of the derogatory titles associated with the genesis frog just to spite snowman, he revels in his own playground, spends his time making maps in a secret hideout and feuding endlessly with a bunch of time manipulating leprechaun bastards until he decides that he's going to go after their boss who he knows virtually next to nothing about we later end up discovering that this is all another part of doc scratch's plan to bring forth, ironically, the creation of the green sun, but to do this he needs slick to essentially revert back to jack, as he himself puts it: do what it is he does best and he does, with nothing left to lose or return to, with the knowledge that it'll be the end of the line for him as well. And despite this literal act of self destruction when given the chance in act 6 he still attempts to somehow make something: taking control of a new crew, asking if maybe they'd know of any place they could go to to hatch some plans, willing to set aside the grudge that brought all of this mess forth until he's thrown back into it by more overarching schemes and it makes collide even more sad to me (as well as, because of other stuff in it as well but that's besides the point) because his literal last moment in the story is sacrificing himself to help the kids win and bring forth another universe, at the end of everything creation and destruction, life and death are intertwined and no matter how much he might try he's bound to only one side of that coin.

[shentm]

outsider still doesn't feel complete to me but i'm leaving it here for now. blade pov, no beta we die like baiheng, check tags for trigger warnings

dreamwidth mirror, which by the way is the more updated and also likely more permanent version of this piece, as this tumblr post always runs the risk of deletion anytime i'm awake past 11pm

The dream catches itself on those at the center of the tragedy, locking on to the minds already half-emptied by mara. It watches, as the nights repeat, as the hunt grows farther from its purpose.

He's covered in it, clothes slick with blood, the moonlight sliding off of it and watching him through the reflection. Every time he shows up, Jing Yuan has to stay awake for hours afterward, scrubbing at the floors to rid his home of the stains and the stench of mara-stricken beasts. It doesn't help that he likes to trail his sword behind, leaving gouges that the blood flows through, pooling in divots and seeping into the cracks between. But it's not like Jing Yuan expected him to be different.

An Outsider, who participated in a horrific ritual, and became tethered to the merging of paths, a creation of a collector who found the occurrence too interesting to resist. Who was given the abundance emanator's blessing, transforming him into something thought of as prey by most of the Xianzhou Alliance. It's strange that he's still sane sometimes, occasionally managing to break the contradictory resonance of intertwined paths where the hunt and the abundance intersect.

In the shared dream he sees the echoes of those he once knew, dead beings recreated in a perfect recollection of the waking world. It's just how he remembers, an everlasting reminder of what they did. He's drawn in when asleep and awake, unable to escape the repetition of memory.

In that intersection of paths he sometimes finds the shadow of the Imbibitor Lunae running away and away, too afraid to face his crimes. He finds the corpse of a dragon protected by its unborn kin, and tears it apart instead of looking back. He fights through the same landscapes again and again, always waking up in front of the same dim lamp. The only reason he can think of for this endless repetition is that someone out there likes these memories, wants to see the moment of the sin done right.

Skin melts against skin, fire burning through hair. The wet noise of a blade squelching as it rips through meat is the only sound that interrupts the guttural screaming of those beasts, displacing the cries with blood down their throats. Their pathetic existences mirror his own. Eyes press against his brain where they grow inside his skull, amplifying the beats of his heart. A constant high pitched whine carries through the sky, staying with him wherever he goes. Physical discomfort keeps him in the dream, afraid of what deeper pain awaits with the dawn of wakefulness.

He sees her too, sometimes, guarding the path before the corpse. She sees him in return, and they always meet in a clash of swords, the moon almost close enough to touch. It watches next to them, the blue light of her own weapon brilliant against the clouded orange sky. There was never any other choice; a recreation can only travel down the path of the original, like wheels in a rut on a dried dirt road. They tell each other that the dream will end. He continues the hunt again.

The dream is an awful thing to endure. He wonders about its purpose when cleaning his blade that Jingliu so kindly returned.

Dan Feng never acknowledges him, never admits to what he did, never even calls him by name. But it's clear that despite the physical differences, he's still the same arrogant coward that lives in the dream. How else would Dan Feng manage to kill him every time with the weapon he forged with his own once-deft hands, buying useless time before his inevitable judgement?

When he wakes up it is only a brief moment of respite from the dream as clear-cutting pain reminds him of his immortality. Sleep comes with the soothing promise of comfort, but also with the knowledge that it will not be restless.

Later he joins the Stellaron Hunters, gets taken in despite being on the brink of insanity. Feels the frenzy slipping away with Kafka's words, feels the understanding leave his mind. Turns him into a docile puppet, waiting for the next command. He names himself Blade. She gives him the first genuine rest he's had in seven hundred years.

His senses are diluted with her influence, not enough to render him completely useless, but enough to clear his mind. It's mostly just his sight that's a problem, and it's easy enough to counter with his other senses. The other one is touch, but he doesn't expect that to really be important. He does most of his hunting with a sword anyways, distanced enough from his prey.

He's never gone back to the Luofu personally. Once or twice through the years he hears news of its whereabouts, and soon has those reminders taken from his mind, rendering his sleep dreamless yet again.

He doesn't go back because he's not done hunting.

But at some point it was bound to happen, the meeting of three tragic sinners and that other guy who was also there.

A mission brings him back to the Luofu, and he doesn't complain because his mind is too empty to think. He tries to think of himself as just a simple vessel to help Elio carry out his plot. A stagehand for the endless show that they try to put on. It's quite nice, being like this, the desperately needed reprieve from the eyes that always try to crawl their way back into his brain. It's not easy to forget once your body has learned.

Kafka says the mission went well. Elio says he can break the tether now. He doesn't remember any of it, except from the brief moment of clarity when Jing Yuan asked him if he was done, and then the consciousness when he wakes up later.

Jing Yuan looks the same now as he did all those years ago, except for the young shadow he keeps at his side. He's still just as radiant as the sun, the center of everything he joins. Of course a comet like himself was never meant to stay long in Jing Yuan's orbit. The sun does not need to change when a dirty snowball cuts through its orbit after centuries of desolation in the universe; the sun burns bright on its own, without a need for a secondary light.

None of them are, were, like that, just a product that reflected their surroundings instead of the magnetic core that shaped their era. Maybe that's why they're all criminals wandering the stellar seas now, shot out from the gravity well and driven by their own definitions of the hunt.

But eventually he feels the searing pain start to fade when he chokes awake on drying blood, glances over at the dissolving bodies next to him. The eyes can no longer see. Kafka helps with her lightning, and soon the only physical links left are those burning wounds inside his brain.

Between puddles of blood and dripping black stone he wakes up, and the night grows deeper but the streetlights start burning. He collaborates, strangely, with Dan Heng (a new trailblazer) to force Jing Yuan back into his bed. He sees the artificial sunrise a few times, occasionally with Kafka, and sometimes just on his own. The sight of a celestial object rising behind the clouds has been one he's not seen for a while, even if it is still a false sun.

It's done, the dream has an end. The hunt is over, its conclusion long since found.

He meets the one who couldn't let go in the waking world, both of them more alive than they should be. Neither of them deserve to be here, yet they sully the Luofu with their presence anyways, carving and gouging out a place where they no longer belong.

She meets him with the same intensity she always carries, unable to be diminished by time or a dream's veil, and he feels alive as they dance the familiar battle once again, for what may be the last time. Unlike the cycles before them, this time it feels like a breaking of bonds, like something being set free.

On the last night of his stay on the Luofu he ends up at Jing Yuan's family home after he manages to separate from the dream, and he's lucky that Jing Yuan still stays here even after seven hundred years. Conveniently, Dan Heng mentions that Yanqing would be dragging the Luofu's heroic trailblazer on some sort of sword-hunting adventure on that day.

"Yingxing," Jing Yuan says when he enters civilly through the window, "please stop dripping blood on the floor."

It's that name that breaks him into the clearest state of mind he's had for centuries. That and the newfound control over his own mind, now that the moon no longer watches him. Jing Yuan still sounds the same, calls him with the same tone of voice. When's the last time anyone's referred to him as Yingxing? When's the last time he's been able to hear that name without his consciousness slipping through the cracks?

"Jing Yuan," he responds, and he's suddenly aware of the winds outside, carrying with them a fine mist of pollen that coats everything in a layer of grit, sticking to the drying blood on his clothes. He's aware of the artificial moonlight that gazes into the room, blue in tone and so much softer than the harsh orange red in his sleep. He can feel the silence of the home, where four others once gathered and where only one stays now.

"That's not my name."

The dream tries to call to him, but its voice is quiet here.

Jing Yuan reclines on the mass of pillows he calls a bed, and when he shifts he can hear the sound of feathers scratching at their confinements. He hears his pulse in his head, reviving nerves once thought to be dead, and he can feel the tingling sensation where it creeps through his limbs.

The air is cold where it hits his skin. It's been so long since he's been able to feel the temperature. He looks at Jing Yuan, and he can see the shine in his eyes, the strands of his hair where it was only a blurred image before. The world is clearer than it's ever been. It's like getting glasses. Do they still have those?

Jing Yuan grounds him in the present, the physicality distracting him from the broken link between his mind and that all-seeing eye disguised as the moon. The moon here on the Luofu is fake, as is the rest of the sky over most of the ship. The mara-stricken here do not scream as they claw at their faces, nor do they tear apart their prey with overwhelming strength.

He can touch and be touched now, acutely aware of the blood on his face, his body, his hands, the stains across the sheets and the fabric where he dares to rip them apart, but it doesn't matter in the moment. Cauterized wounds of foreign eyes that once grew inside his head start to make their presence known again, but they don't try to regrow. Flesh, not his own, knits itself together when he lets go, and the scent of iron permeates the air.

He's never been a particularly selfless lover. He bites down again.

"Ren," Jing Yuan says, quiet with an edge of something else. The false moon silently hangs behind the clouds, diffused into a hazy shower of light. The metallic taste of blood fills his mouth.

Jing Yuan is just as pliant for him now as he was centuries ago, body remembering and opening its vulnerabilities for him so readily. The heat in his head is easily ignored in favor of the heat beneath his hands. It's easy to get lost in the chase to consume and feed, but he reins himself in with the control he thought he'd lost a long time ago.

An Outsider, on equal ground with the Luofu's general, if only for one night. An Outsider, carving his own mark into the Xianzhou's history.

He finds Jing Yuan again after all these centuries, and he's still just as passionate as he's always been, fervent energy and primal fear driving him deeper into the desperate desire to stake a claim of his own.

[windingpathsfic]

a kiss without lips

(deanjohn, 759 words, e)

ft. spitting, choking, masturbation, slight dubcon. a fill for this prompt on @dadfuckerfest, and my first try with this pairing. i didn't realize how old the prompt was when i grabbed it, so i hope there's still interest! also posted on ao3

So much sweat is beading on Dean's forehead and prickling down his neck that John's hand slips when he grips him by the throat, sliding up rougher and faster than Dean expected. The sudden jolt against his Adam's apple makes him gasp out in discomfort. His head jerks back against the scratchy carpet where John has him pinned to the floor, naked and helpless and so hard he's dripping precum all over his thighs.

John's eyes glint hungrily in the slanting light.

He's never made a secret of the fact that he likes catching Dean off guard, making him stumble. When they're hunting he says it's because it's good for Dean to keep his reflexes up. But when they're like this, taking advantage of this first day alone after an endless summer break, secreted away in the motel room furthest from the office while Sam is finally occupied with school, Dean thinks it's just because John likes the sounds he makes.

John squeezes, pressing his thumb a bit harder, and Dean whines on cue.

John grunts in response and squeezes again.

"Open up," he says. Dean's heart skips and he does as he's told, but it's not enough. "Wider, boy. You've been panting after me for weeks, and now you're gonna play coy?"

"Sorry, sir," Dean mouths, his voice beyond reach, and stretches his jaw as wide as it will go. He sticks his tongue out far enough that he feels it wetting his own chin, rasping against the thin stubble there.

John doesn't hesitate to slide two thick fingers over it, thrusting deep enough into his mouth that dean has to fight not to gag, to keep his mouth open. Somehow he manages to widen it even more as John draws his fingers back out. He inspects them, his eyes narrowing before they flick back to Dean.

"That's not gonna do," he says. Dean only has half a second to wonder what he means when John leans forward and spits into his open mouth, holding his jaw wide with damp fingers.

Dean's eyes water as the hand still around his throat tightens in warning. As John does it again and again, until his spit covers Dean's tongue, and Dean is suddenly starkly aware of the difference in their temperature, their taste. The flavor of cigarettes under a sweet hint of hunter's helper is faint but overwhelming.

They've never kissed before, and this isn't that, still, but it's close. Closer than they've been before. Dean never would have thought he would even want to, but now he thinks he might die without it. Like this thing they've been doing for the past year has shifted, changed from being nothing but something he powers through to keep his dad steady, to keep him from going on another bender, to keep him close, and into something Dean actually hungers for. He thinks maybe it shifted a while ago. Before the summer, maybe. Before he started looking at the months they'd have to be careful, be patient, behave themselves around Sam, and wishing they'd pass faster.

He's not sure what that says about him, but he's so far past questioning any of this that the thought barely flutters through his mind before it's gone.

John's fingers shove back in, then, two, then three, swirling over Dean's tongue until they're slick and dripping, and Dean's so desperate for a breath that his vision goes spotty. The lack of air sending dizzying signals through his body and makes his dick throb, neglected between his thighs while John wraps his hand around his own cock, plum-red and angry where it's curving out of his open fly, and Dean whines low in his chest like a wounded animal.

"Please," Dean chokes out, gasps, barely audible. "Please, dad."

His throat constricts on an involuntary swallow, and John eases up the pressure just enough to let it happen. Allows him to take a breath before he takes it away again. His eyes stay on Dean's face the whole time, and Dean stares up at him, at his lower lip, shining with a drop of spit that's slowly swelling with gravity. John doesn't have to ask him to open his mouth again. Dean begs with his eyes and his tongue and waits for it to drop.

Under the deafening sound of his heartbeat thundering in his ears, Dean can hear the frantic wet slide of John's other hand as he jacks himself off.

If Dean's lucky, he'll get to taste it when he's done. Fuck, he hopes he's lucky.

[hollyhomburg]

Can we have a sneak peak of the chapter 🩷

just a little~ lots of smuttiness~ content warning for intercrural sex, nipple play, and vmin x reader (are you surprised??? honestly i am too, but honestly it makes sense, poor alphas just got riled up seeing her bred so many times 🥺).

Bily Chapter 55 Sneak Peek:

Namjoon’s rut pheromones are designed, by biology, to make all of you sort of horny. As the first day becomes the second your other alphas become needier and needier.

You’re somewhere in between Jimin and Tae. Not fucking Tae’s cock- you’re far too sensitive for that, but letting them fuck between your thighs keeps them close. You like it, you like being a vehicle for the pleasure you can smell on the edge of their scents, Jimin’s thick vanilla and the rosey cinnamon of Tae’s scent so pretty so soothing against your rut raw throat.

You’re so wet between your thighs, a mess of slick and cum that your body just can’t keep inside anymore, too well fucked to clench at all. but you know whatever cum you loose namjoon will fuck back in later. The drag is all slippery and tight when they’ve got you like this. Jimin’s hands on your thighs keeping them tight together so that the drag is especially firm.  

It’s hard for the other alphas during ruts sometimes, not because any of them feel any particular ownership over the omegas that would possibly proceed the pack alphas. You don’t know about other pack’s- but yours isn’t like that.

Seeing Namjoon in rut reminds them of what they usually enjoy but can’t have right now. Like a favorite cake made not for your birthday. Sacrifice never felt so sweet, so alluring. Conjuring up images of want, what it would be like to get you between the two of them like this. If you weren’t so sore you’d risk it.

Tae’s cock nudges up in between your pussy lips as she fucks into your thighs. Pushing over your sensitive hole and aching little clit. Is just as lovely when combined with the familiar velvet of Jimin’s cock and knot just below as they fuck between your thighs together. the drag tight and warm.

Tae’s hands are on your chest again. touching and brushing with abandon. making you arch into her touch. The other alphas don't usually touch you there, but tae has always loved your tits. the attention makes jimin pause, huffing warm breathes pressed to your throat. And it's her that Jimin makes eye contact with when he bends down and sucks the tip of your nipple into his mouth.

It's Sweet, heady, the scent glands around your nipple so comforting pressed to his nose, you smell softer there. Jimin hums, surprised that it felt different, that it feels like anything at all. "oh pup, is jiminie making you sensitive for mommy? how does she taste minnie? is she as sweet as she looks?"

it's lovely and natural as he sucks and nibbles And sucks harder, he's going to make them puffy and oversensitive in no time. pulling sweet little mewls from your mouth at the new stimulation.

The sound makes Namjoon perk up from the other side of the nest, his knot deep in jin's hole, twitching in interest and starting to clench smaller.

~-~

Just a bit of a warning! this next chapter probably won't be coming out for another weekend :( i'd be able to manage it any other week but this coming saturday is my cousin's wedding party and my whole family is coming through town for it. i probably won't be able to scrape it together in any meaningful way in time to post it while i'm neck deep in a bottle of champagne 💔

[blimbo-buddy]

Like the Erin's really dropped the ball so bad--being fat should be one of the things that the clan cats should aim for--at least Riverclanners should!! It shows that they excel at their duties still and they're excellent hunters! They manage to get more than enough food for the clan and themselves that everyone can go back for seconds or thirds! I really think being a little overweight would be seen as sexy in Riverclan as you could ice fish longer in the winter.

I remember a rewrite, I think it was BoneFall's? (Although I'm unsure, it might have been another rewrite) . Where clan cats viewed another clan cat being fat as them being great at hunting and being very well fed and all around a strong and capable cat, while they see Kittypets being fat as something that's the complete opposite of what I just mentioned. I think it's interesting because then it gives the Clan cats more problems with how they view fatness in a cat, they believe there's a "right and wrong way" to be, fat which is acknowledged as a bad way to think. (FYI: I couldn't find the post I'm referring to, searching it on the blog gives me nothing so if anybody is able to find it and also correct anything mentioned, I'd greatly appreciate it)

Which honest to god, you see people thinking there's a right or wrong way to be fat in the real world. They think there needs to be a "good reason" for somebody being fat, and if the reason your fat is a "bad" one, you're treated lesser.

(Talking about the canon series) I wouldn't be so pissed off about fatphobia in Warriors if they actually acknowledged the harm it causes. But because the books both never paint it as wrong and actually encourage it, it just leaves a sour taste in your mouth and makes you wonder if the authors actually feel this way about fat people. Topics like fatphobia can be present, but you need to approach it properly and handle it with care and respect, criticize it for how it's written

To end off on a lighter note: I think a cat being chubbier being seen as a beauty-thing in Riverclan is great because I imagine SilverStream seeing Smudge or Princess, slicking her hair back, and leaning in to say "Hey, Mamacita"

[shoutyourporpoise]

been letting my thoughts percolate on the Barbie film since I saw it over the weekend and: for one, I want to clarify that I had a lot of fun watching it. and for another, I am critiquing it because this is how I engage with movies I’m trying to actually think about. Complaining is my love language. The Barbie movie is funny and it also takes itself seriously and tries to establish that it’s making a Point, so I am also taking it seriously and evaluating it as such. Also this post is gonna be a total mess bc it’s just me tangenting over and over. Uh. Okay now that I’ve written it out it’s long as all fuck lemme add a readmore.

the way they handled Sasha from a costuming perspective bothered me. She’s introed to us dressed in all black tee and jeans, and over the course of the movie she undergoes Barbiefication with her top becoming a deep maroon and eventually ending the movie in a bright pink dress, which I should add is if anything even *more* girly than the pink pantsuit her mother Gloria ends up with. In this way, the film conveys her rejection of Barbie as not just a lack of connection with her mother, but as a disconnect from *her own* femininity which it implies she’s distances herself from because she thinks it’s shameful to be what the world thinks a woman is. Did they have to do that? We see other Barbies who don’t wear pink but manage to convey a very slick, costumey version of their job and I would not have minded seeing a camp Goth Social Justice Barbie costume by the end of the film.

but I think the thing that sticks in my craw the most is how Sasha’s Barbie Takedown Speech (which is supposed to be a mirror to Gloria’s Contradictory Womanhood Speech*) is grounded in real criticisms people have of Barbie, which is blunted by the fact that Barbieland as shown in the movie is explicitly more diverse than Barbie is now. The comment Sasha makes about body image issues to Stereo Barbie is supposed to be seen as clearly ridiculous once she goes to Barbieland and meets Barbies of all body types including fat ones, when I know for a fact that at present the “curvy” Barbie body type on the market is like at BEST someone on the edge between midsize and plus. And that was introduced alongside the petite and tall makes like…I think less than a decade ago?

it’s also the fact that Stereo Barbie is metatextually both an individual doll and the representation of Barbie as a collective. She defends herself to Sasha by citing the other Barbie’s’ accomplishments because for her they are all inseparable and almost interchangeable. In theory this is how every Barbie works, but by having Margot Robbie (“Stereotypical Barbie”) be the one to go out into Los Angeles and get Velveteen Rabbitted into being real by the Ghost Mother-God of Ruth Handler** it also sets an interesting tone for Sasha’s critique because she’s not just yelling at some white woman, she’s yelling at a white woman who represents a collective of Barbies that are more diverse than she is and also critically less Real than she is.***

also I know the part where Sasha calls Barbie a fascist is supposed to be funny bc it’s a very Teen Angry thing to say to someone you disagree with but. I mean lol she goes back to Barbieland to find that the Kendom**** has taken over and then goes “we must return everything back to our Ideal Past where the Kens were merely decorative and to do this we must hatch a plot to prevent them from voting” lmao. Obviously after that she has the conversation with Ken and they have the briefest scene going “maybe we should all be equal and individual” but WILD thing to see after the fascist line. Also uh. Sentiment is cool and all but where actually do the Kens live. Are they back to being homeless.

*hey how come hearing about how womanhood is multifaceted and contradictory deprograms the Barbies from patriarchal Ken conditioning…into agreeing with one another completely? None of the Barbies were like “hey I meant it I liked taking a Brain Vacation where I didn’t need to bear the load of decision making?” None of them were like “What the Ken’s did was wrong but maybe we can talk to them the same way you’ve talked to us to make them understand this hurts them?” None of them were like “love y’all but I am not sitting through 4 hours of guitar to turn my friends Ken against each other through making them jealous?” No??? Women are complex and contain multitudes but those multitudes all align? Or am I supposed to accept that they all agree because even after exposure to both patriarchy and the “antidote” of feminism they are still insufficiently Real to think complexly?

**also given the opening of Barbie mentioning that she was groundbreaking because she was a doll that represented an aspirational adult woman so girls were no longer consigned to motherhood it is VERY interesting that they had her introduce herself at the end of the film as Barbara Handler***** rather than her canonical name of Barbara Roberts, thereby cementing herself as Ruth’s daughter. Why frame Ruth as the mother to her creation just because she named the doll after her real-life child? Why not emphasize that she, too, broke the mold of motherhood by becoming a businesswomen and creative entrepreneur? Like cool cool get a pithy jab in about the double mastectomy and the tax fraud but why not engage more deeply with her as a businesswoman given that the film’s opening volley is that women are capable of being things other than mothers?

***and they’re less Real in more ways than one! If you look at posts showing which doll each Barbie represents, you will see that many of the women of color are either playing a racebent version of an existing doll, are an amalgam of other doll concepts, or are created from whole cloth. Again, Sasha’s speech is grounded in real-life critiques of Barbie, but the film’s more diverse casting undermines that speech because in *this* universe Barbie is less of a tool of white hegemony. Did you know that besides the red-sareed doll from the Dolls of the World collection, we didn’t see an Indian Barbie until *last year?* If you were going off the impressions of the movie you might not have known that!

****also I get that it’s supposed to be a twist that the enemies aren’t the Mattel executives; it’s Ken learning about patriarchy and bringing it back to Barbieland. And we’re supposed to be like “oh cool Will Farrell’s character genuinely cares about inspiring little kids with Barbie!” but it *does* leave the issue of the boardroom being maidenless still very much there which I guess is solved by…they have the ghost of Ruth Handler there? …I guess this is one of those lines you’re not allowed to fully cross if you’re making a movie approved by Mattel?

*****yep I get the joke to the ending line and it’s funny in the moment but now I’ve thought about it for more than two seconds and like. Okay so the setup for the punchline is that when she’s catcalled by guys IRL and then mentions she doesn’t have a vagina (and Ken doesn’t have a penis) so they’re all smooth down there. Given her total lack of knowledge of the world outside of Barbieland how do. Any of them know what a vagina is to deny having one. I assume Midge has a detachable belly bc that’s what her doll was too, so she doesn’t…have a vagina either. And because the gynecologist joke happens after she becomes Real what does that say? That your genitals are what make you Real (or worse, that a vagina is what makes you a real woman because you cannot call upon the lack of one to protect you from catcallers)? Is Hari Nef’s Dr. Barbie trans? What does that imply would’ve happened to her if she became Real?

Okay wait now I’m on *this* thread of thought. So Dr. Barbie is horrified when Stereo Barbie’s feet go flat to point of fake-ralphing alongside all the other Barbies, so that implies she…wasn’t assigned Ken at birth? Because otherwise why would a Barbie having flat feet be so shocking to her? Are there no possibilities for transition in Barbieland are you either a Barbie or a Ken (or Allan)? Actually yeah hey Barbie’s feet going flat is sort of an aspect of her body not conforming to her gender isn’t it??? They could’ve done something there maybe.

And look I know casting Hari Nef made a number of people very angry and that it’s a stone on the scale for letting trans people just play roles that have nothing to do with their transness which is cool but also why *didn’t* this movie have anything more than a passing nod to Earring Magic Ken and then call that a day for representing the franchise as it is? The racial casting attempts to make the franchise more diverse, so why not do the same for gender and sexual orientation? There are actually already two Barbies released for the BMR1959 60th anniversary collection who have “Ken” builds; why aren’t they in there; get them some rep!!

I guess this is maybe a lot to ask of a film with a runtime under two hours but given how it hyped itself up I didn’t see it address the whiteness baked into the Barbie franchise or how it reifies cishet ideals beyond the implication that everyone acts Like That because it’s how girls are expected to play with their Barbies. When they went to the Real World (cinemasins ding implying LA is the real world) I wish in all the facets of womanhood they showed us we got to see ANY queerness made explicit. I would’ve eaten my own fingers to see a butch on that screen.

…I guess at the end I feel about this the way I feel about Legally Blonde? It’s trying to have a dialogue with both itself and with the culture in which it’s made re: attitudes towards femininity and it’s a VERY fun watch but ultimately lies back on existing ideas about gender without bothering to interrogate it as much as those who love the film claims that it does.