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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

Text

RE JIKOOK IS ESTRANGED

Them

Lol

JUMP CUT ALERT: This is a continuation of an ongoing discussion behind the scenes.

DISCLAIMERS:

Article 19, UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights: Every person has the right to freedom of opinion and expression which includes the freedom to hold an opinion without interference through any media.

Misinterpretation of my opinion, my words constitute a violation of my human rights. Please do not take my words out of context, share it on another platform in furtherance of your own agenda. If you do hold yourself accountable first. You are the author of your own intentions and interpretations.

I do not intend malice by my words nor do I seek to be disrespectful of any member mentioned in here. I simply enjoy mentally stimulating conversations and thought provoking discussions.

Let the records show.

MATTER OF THE DAY

Thanks to everyone that's shared your thoughts on this matter with me and thanks to that person that brought this matter to my attention.

I haven't looked into it and I don't know how severe this issue is.

I think people have the right to believe in anything they want to believe in. Personally, I don't think Santa is real but clearly others do, doesn't mean I'm sane or that they are crazy.

I don't think discussions of this nature should be about who is right or who is wrong. Everyone's opinion is valid and holds true to their own delusions. Lol.

Frankly, I prefer this kind of ship wars to the slurs and abuses and they are distributing hard core porn now?? What is going on! Chileee.

I have never believed JK and Tae to be anything more than friends. At one point, I wondered if they were even friends at all lol but since they admitted to having had a falling out themselves at one point the topic is now moot.

Tae and JK have- had- have a really special bond. To me anyways. I always saw them as the evil power twins of BTS due their ability to come together to wreck havoc especially on Bang PD's scripts. Lol. I think I have mentioned this a few times now.

I smiled to myself when I heard them call themselves partners in crime. The bond is there no two ways about it- you either appreciate it for what it is or you don't. personally I love their bond. Can't stand their shippers but I love their bond. They keep the drama going for me- love it. Lol

The question has always been whether their bond is as profound as their shippers make it seem. I argue it's not and I will always argue it is not. Lol

I think it's only fair that they also question whether Jikook's bond is as profound as we make it sound. I really can't be mad at that. All is fair in love and war- at the very least we can agree to disagree.

I mean even Jikookers themselves question the extent of JK and JM's bond. Some think they are just very special friends and nothing more. I think I talked about this in my is Jikook real post when I mentioned labels and the degree of love between JK and JM?

We know JK and JM have a unique bond. The question then is how far does that bond go. Is it just platonic, romantic or something in between?

This is the question I was aiming to answer with my is Jikook real post. My objective was to try and dismantle all the nuances that keep us from seeing the 'truth' about Jikook- that they are real. At least the way I see them.

I talked about unrealistic expectations we have of Jikook, false conditionings that often leads us to see Jikook as something more than they are- the amplified Jikook. We get used to highlight reels of Jikook's interactions in edits such that we feel there is something wrong with them when we see them in real time.

I mentioned that Jimin's nurturing nature often also estops people from reading more into his relationship with JK. He is nurturing of everyone, JK ain't special- they argue, just as this person is doing.

I talked about Jimin's Idol persona, the facade of the boy in love with JK- Jimin's role within BTS since debut and how that can equally blind us into thinking Jikook is something more or less than they really are. I have a post dedicated to this topic sitting in my drafts so I will not go into the details of it here. Please look forward to that.

But this person's post touches on another aspect of Jimin's personality that I feel is one of the things that often keeps us from seeing his relationship with JK for what it really is- his inclination for professionalism.

I keep saying this, several times now, that Jimin's Idol persona to me seems well developed, elaborate and very elusive.

I have mentioned a few times how I think during Jikook break ups that they keep it civil and professional for the sake of the team and that you might not even notice the difference especially if you place high value on their skinship.

The skinship would be there, the cordiality and civility would equally be there- except for moments when they are fighting, that gets bloody. Lol. They are best friends at the very least. It is why it's important to reevaluate the metrics we use to determine whether or not they are a couple.

I wish I could dialogue with this person to understand her assessment of Jikook and what she is using to determine whether or not Jikook are a couple and what makes her think Tae and JK are. Know what I mean?

What makes her think Jikook were a couple before 2017? What makes y'all think Jikook are a couple at all? I would like to hear from y'all- but come at me with the skinship bit and I'll block you deadass. Lol

So on this person's post, I think I agree with her assessment of JM's persona but I don't agree with the Jikook have been broken up since 2017. And I think I understand where this is coming from... I think some of us do. Yes they had a few fights that year especially leading up to Jimin's birthday- August was it? but we all know JK more than made up for it with the damn GCFs. Lol. kindly visit the timeline, peruse as many content as you can and form your own opinion on it. This is just mine.

Are Jikook Jikooking all the time? Absolutely not. They are human too. They fight, they make up, they break up they get back together, they have introverted, extroverted moments, they go up, they go down- have bad hair days, it's all part of their dynamics I'm afraid. From my point of view of course.

I feel some people notice these things too and when they sense Jikook aren't in a good place they bow out and Jump ship- I don't blame them. They are shippers not supporters. What Jikook need are supporters not shippers- or maybe both, do you.

Could this person be one such people? DNF shippers? Given up on Jikook before the end of their story? I don't know. May be.

Jikook is not a fantasy that you ship. It's a relationship that you support. You can't escape into them. They are an ongoing love story- chapters close, chapters open, you just have to ride it out till the very end.

I think the challenge of their post for me is whether or not Jikook is a performance. Her post leans into the whole Jikook is fanservice bull especially in light of the recent photoshoot video which some are using as evidence Jikook don't 'click' when the cameras are off- the lies they tell on Beyonce's internet!

I think I have speculated on this and shared my thoughts on this whole Jikook is fanservice bit. I will delve deeper into it in my next post on Jimin's idol persona but as I've already said, Jikook is fanservice is equally a misnomer.

Yes Jikook does fanservice sometimes, but they are not fanservice. Fanservice is the cover for their relationship. It's their glass ceiling- nothing to see here folks just two snakes under glass. Keep it pushing. (Sorry. Couldn't help myself. Lol)

But you do raise a valid question, what is Jikook like when the cameras are not filming?

Is the mood of Jikook in that footage the general mood of Jikook behind cameras as Tuktukkers are claiming? They barely interact, JM doesn't pay much attention to Kook, yadda yadda yadda?

And the part that gives me a complex, that JK only interacts with JM when they are the center of attention. Huh???????????

Sigh.

I feel caught between a rock and a hard place on this one.

The theory you pointed out in support of this assertion isn't mine and I think I made it clear I didn't share the same thoughts on it. I said it was valid nevertheless. Chilee, this is hard. Lol

Yes JK is an introvert, Jimin is an extrovert, JM doesn't live for JK, all that is true and some Jikookers have said that too- so when you ask, if this is who they are when the cameras are off does that mean what they do when the cameras turn on is fanservice-

I-👁👄👁

I don't know the thought process that went into that theory so I can't confidently defend it. I'll ask? Lol.

Personally, I'd like to know whether or not they see the tension in that footage as tension in the first place. Chileee I don't know.

I see it as tension. Not a very serious one though. So we'd have to agree to disagree on that one.

But the part I can argue, the part I agree with is Jikook aren't hyper super duper lovey dovey on each other all the time. They aren't cuddly all the time. They have their moments of quiet- Jimin seems like the more affectionate kind who'd rub all over JK in the comfort of their homes but still...

If you ask me though, I think Jikook are tamer on cameras than they are behind scenes. I always talk about the fear and panic in the members' eyes when they see Jikook gravitating towards each other- it's probably because they know the extent of Jikook's shenanigans. They know how worse it can be because they've seen it all.

And when JK panics sometimes when JM gets closer too you just know dude is scared perhaps because of his Mochi chick's devil may care shamelessly in love policies- Jimin wild. Bless him.

I did say also that Memories 2019 is equally eye opening. These were censored bits. BigHit was holding all of that and giving us crumbs- stingy mfs. Bless.

All that said, again I don't think Jikook are hyper lovey on eachother behind the scenes. Another part I diverge from that view is that this is not exactly off camera. It was just behind the scenes of a photoshoot. Something we've seen a countless times.

This is not BTS's first ever behind scenes photoshoot. It's just a different angle that's all.

They were working. They were at work. This wasn't an alone private space for them so they can't base on this to say Jikook don't interact when the cameras are off.

The cameras were rolling. We saw them interact, JM was interacting with everyone the way he always does on camera all the time except he wasn't interacting with JK the way he does all the time, grainy footage or not- I mean let's call a spade a spade and not a big fat spoon. Lol

As to why he was doing that- let's just say there are many schools of thoughts.

My thought as I've said is JM was freezing JK out. I think with anyone that's recognized and is familiar with Jikook fights, that mood is all too familiar as I mentioned earlier.

If JM was being courteous and not mad at his man then he would have kept it 'professional' and done the 'fanservice' bit with Jk as per usual just as this person is saying since the cameras were still rolling.

Jikook is not fanservice. They are real.

I have refrained from providing a detailed analysis of that '5 minutes' footage for reasons I will explain later when I do share my thoughts on that footage- eventually. Some day.

But my hypothesis remains the same that I think Jikook were fighting or had a minor issue. As to why they were fighting, chileee I don't know. The confirmation bias in me feel it had something to do with JM's birthday but honestly it could have been over anything at all- dumplings, microphones- we all saw that slap on stage, a certain Iphone notification perhaps, did JinMin make a secret VLive without Kook again? Lol

There are plethora of reasons, I can only speculate on a few. And I think we've all seen Jimin when he is not 'Jimining' with the others, JK included. Take his mood with Tae at GDA for example- since this is not a VMin post I won't go into it.

But it seems they squashed whatever beef they were having on stage when JM extended his hands to Tae and they shaked it out.

We've seen him and Suga bicker too- which again, I am not gonna to get into out of respect for their shippers but I can point you to the On comeback VLive early this year when Suga touched JM and JM mouthed Hajima to him- which I think had something to do with what was going on with him and JK at the time but that is besides the point. Every shipper for themselves.

I contrast his 'fights' with Suga and V to show you the difference between Jimin being professional and courteous and Jimin being rah rah. He was sat next to suga, talking and laughing with him but snapped the moment Suga held his back.

He did the same in the Dynamite MV Vlive, smiling and laughing with Suga but the moment JK teased him with the Yoonmin comment his countenance fell.

Jimin is not that good of an actor if you ask me. I have said he is very Kumbaya in nature, often makes compromises for the sake of the team but that don't mean he is a pushover or one to trifle with- he scares me when he is mad. Lmho.

The scene in that footage didn't look to me as that he was being nice and courteous to JK- is that y'all's definition of professional courtesy? Damn.

If they were having a lover's squabble then the 'icy' mood of Jikook we saw in that footage is not the general mood of Jikook when the camera's are turned off.

I have to state again that I don't know much of what goes on behind the cameras and most of the things we see sometimes are equally missing context.

That been said we have seen enough of Jikook 'behind cameras' and they are more intimate than we can imagine. A certain cozy selfie at the back of an abandoned truck comes to mind. Whatever they were doing at the back of the track wasn't intended for the cameras judging from JK's reaction.

We've had glimpses of Jikook when they are not the center of attention enough to have a fair idea of what they are when cameras are off and I don't think it is that mood we saw in that footage.

We saw them at Jingle ball bell, towards the end of 2019. We saw them in their own space doing what they do best- making us feel single as fuck. Bless them.

We've seen them at awards, we've seen JK eating Jimin's ear nom nom to calm him down- like I would have just bought him icecream to calm down his nerves or rubbed his back but whatever JK. He is your man; you know him best. Good for him. Good for both of you. Now come back and feed us.

And the bit about JK only laughing with JM when he noticed he was on the Bangtan Bomb cameras in that footage- now that's nasty below the belts phony ass ass! I felt that one straight in my chest, shit. Lol

Dude was in a doghouse it seemed and I noticed them stealing glances at each other and.... sigh.

I just think JK was looking for an opening to warm his way back into JM's good graces- it's really nothing we haven't seen before.... sigh.

This is 2020 that narrative of JK hates Jimin, JK doesn't like JM needs to stop. It's dead. Pack it up. Chileee, y'all tried it with this one.

Jk is nice to JM only when the cameras are on him? Nice try.

JK is so fake and fraudulent he glared RM down till he stepped away from Jimin- again, in the very same photoshoot footage y'all swear to God is proof Jikook is not real.

Find it. RM stood next to JM. Looks up see's something- or someone. Does his tell- the hand to head thingy he does when JK glares at him over Jimin. He backs away inches from JM.

Cut to JK. Dudes a mood. Jin bumps into him, stares at him but JK wouldn't even look at him and then deadass looks away grumpyly- talk of professionalism. You doing great swidy keep going!

You can hide a relationship, fake it on God but you can never hide the intimacy. Taekook just lack that intimacy, I'm sorry. Even in that 'estranged' moment Jikook's intimacy was still there-

Even in whatever mood JK was in- which again, I believe was just due to their lover's squabble- JK still was claiming his man and exercising his right of authority over him. That's how you know they are not broken up. In my opinion. Chileee. I'm gonna get in trouble. Deep sigh.

Y'all think JK was hovering over Jimin because he was preparing to strike him down like a censored censored censored? Yea, he was preparing to strike alright- All the corners of Jimin's heart. Y'all better stop before I find you. Lol

I said I wasn't going to analyze the footage in this post but damn. This man out here serving us all kinds of brooding assorted jeonlous as his man takes a time out or two to wiggle wiggle wiggle on him Malfroy style and y'all are out here peddling nonsense. Strike one.

He was a mood alright. Did y'all see Tae rubbing his chest, arms and legs, ears did y'all see any body else in there doing that for him? Y'all's falcon cannot hear his falconer give it up and sorry, Jikook can't relate.

As I've posited, JM I feel was mad as hell for whatever reason and wasn't in the space to be that person JK needed him to be- in that moment. Doesn't mean they are like that behind scenes all the time.

And before I get attacked again for causing drama, being toxic etc by Jikookers understand that I am just a delusional person shipping these two in a way that makes sense to me. Write me off as delulu, and go please.

Whatever ambiguity surrounds that moment, to me, Jin and RM's reaction to JK clarifies things a bit. Jikook were boiling hot. JK was still keeping an eye on his man. Lol. Bless them. That's my conclusion. I'm running miles with that. Catch me. Lol

Feel free to come up with your own theory in a way that makes sense to you.

I'm not sure how long that fight lasted but from the rain day incident I'm hoping it wasn't that long. Jikook are fine I believe- I hope. Judging from the way JM drew JK out in his VLive with the whole I miss JK comment? Did that not sound familiar to y'all? And that Mickey mouse thingy- JM ain't slick. Bless him.

JM is the perched akekeke whisperer whispering all kinds of things in JK's ear, feeding JK news of what goes on on social media and what not. Dude don told his man they won a BB on his birthday, told his man Jin wasn't happy he chose his bag over his- definitely told his man Army was missing him- what? I'm going with that too sue me. Lol

Did you or did you not see Jk coming out to do a live log afterwards? And JK seemed less grumpy, in very high spirits? Wedding bells- I'm manifesting it for JK. Manifest with me.

Remember when JM did a log and talked nonsense about JK, and JK did a rebuttal log to respond to JM and address some of the things JM had said about him? Remember that? It's a jikook thing and it's back😌

I have said JM uses social media to connect with Army while JK uses it as an outlet to express himself. Through out his Live he kept talking about how he wasn't prepared to do a live and it shows in the way he kept saying it was awkward, he just kept it business and didn't know what else to share... I wonder who put his paws on him, dragged his ass to turn on the camera because Armys had asked of him- a certain quick tempered chick who dragged his man out on social media to do the whole Chuseok greetings 2020 on Twitter perhaps?

And JK is so whipped he'd do just about all the hoops to appease his man- Jikook AU written by Goldy. High five. No but seriously...

Behind the scenes, JK sneaks into JM's bed at night- Taekook does it too? Please! The look on JM's face when RM spilled that tea is enough said.

There's only two people in BTS that panic and don't want us to know they lay one on God in bed and it's not Tae Kook.

JK: Jimin hyung and I will sleep here

JM: how about we let the others choose first

Everyone shares a room:

Footage:🦄🍲🐯🧀🐺🍟🐓🥛🐑🛏

JIKOOK share a room:

Footage: 🚪👀

Behind the cameras Jikook sneak into each others bed- camera caught them live. You saw JM's face, I can't make this shit up. Lol

Behind the scenes, Jikook do laundry at 1am. *insert JM pervy face meme.

Chileee, y'all making me trip with this one. Deep breaths.

Jikook have their moments. This was one of them. Can they be human? Please. Thank you.

At this point, these folks are not even shippers. They is shoppers shopping a man for their bias. Lol. Just admit y'all want Jeon thick thighs strong butt for your bias and go. Just admit you want some tall glass of Tiger charming face husky voice strong chest for your bunny and go. Lmho

Chilee, when we say Tae and Kook had a falling out we don't mean they freeze eachother out behind cameras. Hell, we don't even mean they fake their bond or interactions. C'mon! Tae and JK admitted they are not lovers and y'all is bitter. That's why y'all is making up this nonsense about Jikook. Speak the truth and shame the devil. Peter would be proud.

When we say Tae Kook is not real, We just mean JM spends JK's birthday with him while every one including Tae is out there cruising for Jesus with friends. We just mean Jikook claim eachother even when they beefing. That ship beefed and didn't even know they was beefing and they are real? Damn.

We just mean Jikook make efforts for each other even when they are having bad days- Had it not been for Jimin they'd still be gnashing on these cold streets. Place some respect on his name, y'all's ungrateful. Lol

Tae and JK don't want each other they both want Jimin- there. I said it.

Thanks for attending my Tedtalk. 👁👄👁

Now where was I? Never mind. I'm just gonna go burn some sage. There's too much negativity going on around. Hakuna matata!

There is nothing wrong with Taekook as a ship. Personally, I'm a multishipper I ship all the ships but I support Kookmin. I don't mind their shippers calling them whatever, but my eyes twitch when people who claim they support Jikook act wishy washy with Jikook. Lol. Like are you going to withdraw your support of Kookmin if JK sits on Tae's lap?👀 Yall make me nervous. How can you think Jikook is real but then look at Taekook and go huh??? What are y'all seeing that I can't see?

Like those are two completely different dynamics. It's the skinship isn't it? Talk to me. Jikookers who see something nonplatonic in Taekook honestly give me trust issues. Y'all have me out here looking over my shoulders.

I am delusional but I'm confident in my delusions because to me it is about the love and support for JM and JK as LGBTQ plus couples. Please stop shipping Jikook, stop shopping JK and JM for eachother and start supporting them because they are real.

IN MY OPINION.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook analysis #kookmin #kookmin analysis #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #goldy blogs #goldy theories #goldy analysis #nightswithkookmin #jikook fights

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chiseler · 4 years ago

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Echoes

One book from my childhood has always haunted me. Cursed Be the Treasure, by H. B. Drake, didn't just get under my skin, it crawled inside and gnawed. An "adventure" tale of smugglers and pirates, of guilt and vengeance, it was a cold soak in an alternately reality that I could believe with all my heart.

My mother presented it to me at I'd guess age 10 or 11. Probably it had been in our collection all along. I assumed it was from her own teen years, so in the 1910s. I never knew where my mother came by such things, she seemed to absorb offbeat, peculiar works through some etheric transfer.

Over the years, I remembered little of the plot – just two incidents so horrific that they hung on me like literary albatrosses.

Perhaps five years back, that haunting returned and I felt the need to find that book again – the original had disappeared into the mists of yesteryear. I bought a copy online – a mere $3.50 if I remember rightly – a ratty-spined hardback. I immediately determined not to read it. I couldn't face the possibility that it would be just another "young adult" monstrosity that had overwhelmed my feeble mind. That would be a gut stab.

But with Daniel Riccuito's strong-arm encouragement, looking for an "unusual" book from the '20s or ''30s – my pick – I immediately thought of Cursed Be the Treasure... but "uh-oh, wrong decade." Yet when I flipped back the creaky cover, I found the copyright was 1928. So I committed to reading it again, with dripping trepidation.

And...? It resonates with the "now" of me as solidly as with the "then" of me; it's left an unusual sense of wonder, a "how can the universe work this way?" that I pooh-pooh in daily life.

Before getting to that: Who was H. B. Drake?

I've found minimal online biographical info on Henry Burgess Drake, who had two (at least) parallel careers. Born of British missionary parents in China in 1894, the next to last of seven children, he served in WWI, then taught English in China, Korea (at a Japanese university) and England, sometimes alongside his younger brother, Eric – this bio snippet, an aside to a longer one of Eric, does not mention Henry's writing. During (or before?) WWII, Henry served in the British Intelligence Corps, "to recruit spies to penetrate Japanese held territory" in China.

Of his alternate existence, fantasy and SF sites note him mainly as author of The Shadowy Thing, which had a strong influence on H. P. Lovecraft. You can purchase a 1928 hardback edition online for $967; I don't plan to. Beyond that and Cursed, he penned a few sea and other adventure tales (sometimes as Burgess Drake), and a five-volume Approach to English Literature for Students Abroad during the '40s and '50s. He died in 1963.

I've had little truck with adventure stories. The Conan tales bore me silly – great gnarled nonsense. I recently downloaded a humongous boulder of public-domain fantasy/SF/adventure (many of them novel-length), looking for a simple, non-challenging read. The first four I staggered through were almost malignantly bad – cumbersome slagheaps of adjectives, mostly multi-page descriptions of otherworldly scenery, including, so help me, two travels through nothing – quite literally a void interrupted by different-colored lights. They showed less imagination than an addled exterminator.

It's turned out that what I was looking for in that muck, without knowing, was Cursed Be the Treasure, which harks back to lesser-known works such as R. L. Stevenson's The Wrecker, about a ship ("The Flying Scud") in which the adventure is as much inside the narrator as mired in convoluted events wavering beyond the written horizon. I think Drake also took inspiration from Dickens, especially Nell's wanderings through the countryside with her grandfather in The Old Curiosity Shop. (Though unlike Dickens with his often black and white characters, all of Drake's emanate shades of moral grey.)

The first-person narrator of Cursed is Tommy, recalling his youth from age 6 to roughly 17, consumed in continual flight with his father from the vengeance of what his father calls Shadow-of-Fear. During their flight, they are briefly "trapped" by a witch-like figure, Bite-in-the-Dark, whom Tommy kills by accident. Then the flight continues, because... who or what is Bite-in-the-Dark, and can the greater Shadow-of-Fear be killed?

Baldly stated, this can sound silly. But it's written with a riveting intensity of isolation and unfocused fear. His father will run forever to protect Tommy, but does not feel he can, himself, escape the inevitable. And there are also the magically bright summers at the Dolphin Inn, where Tommy investigates the caves and rock ledges of the coast, the supposed refuge of smugglers, uncovering secret passageways leading to... what?

Along the way, he and his father stop at a supposed haunted house. Tommy sees a ghost (does he?) and encounters a skeleton (he does).When his father must leave on for an extended period, Tommy goes to school for the first time – his father's extensive, intensive knowledge had been enough to meet his educational needs.

Tommy makes friends with Worthing, an older, rule-bound student (who faults Tommy's adventuresome ways). Tommy invites Worthing for a stay at the house, during which Tommy finds a hidden passage and loses it again. In a later stint at the house, he meets Captain Field and his daughter. She, like Tommy, is traveling alone with her father, and like his father, the Captain is haunted by an implacable enemy.

Why no mother for either of these near-bewitched children? The word "mother" never appears in this tale. For both, the single parent and the single child have always been thus.

From here on, I'll leave the plot alone, because it's the method of telling and the near-perfect pacing that make this book, in my mind, close to a masterpiece. Reliving it, retrieving the incidents I forgot through the years, was unlike any other literary experience I've had; 70 years between readings, and it holds the same searing chill. And those two remembered incidents that I did recall – I can't talk sanely about them. The second details perhaps the worst mistake any human being could make.

There's nothing overtly supernatural in the telling, but the possibility of it hangs like a torn curtain. As Tommy slowly uncovers clues, a more enmeshed tale emerges, tying together disparate elements –almost typing them together. Certain small details don't quite fit... but not because Drake is lax. It's because nothing here can be complete, wholly true or fully whole. A "definitive" through line would only cheapen the tale. The passageways by the Dolphin Inn lead to no found end; the lost treasure is truly cursed – through the intertwined vengeance of those who fought and killed for it, and the inescapable guilt with which each must live.

That's the book, as written. But its effect on me goes beyond the words. It reaches something in me as inescapable as Shadow-of-Fear, like a reflected study of my life. Not Tommy's flight – the entire tale. I have none of Tommy's robust, adventuresome spirit... at least not externally. But something of my mind works the way this story works, with the details incomplete, the compounded feeling of guilt, the need for everything to be different, released. It was somehow like I was reading myself.

But a few details....

The novel I've been working on for the past couple years (before I reread Cursed) encapsulates a woman in her early 30s:

raised by her father, from the ages of 4 to 16

haunted by the past and her eerie effects on the present

with no direct memory of her mother, though unlike Tommy, the not knowing torments her

her name is Jenny; Captain Field's daughter's name is Jenny

This litany of congruence rattles my innards.

Did those plot details from Cursed that I thought had been lost remain hidden in the far reaches of my mind?

I don't think so. On rereading, the early chapters seemed fully new to me.

Are there cosmic associations that exhibit when we least expect them, in the least likely ways?

I think that even less.

I see the world as a grand accumulation of circumstances, ruled by laws that we can never directly experience or untangle as they apply to the minute incidents of life. Sometimes these circumstances heap in symmetrical piles that can delight or terrify, as did the Dolphin Inn and Shadow-of-Fear for Tommy.

In my case, the dovetailing of this marvelous tale with driving events in my life is an overwhelming gift.

I refuse to question it.

by Derek Davis

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longinglook · 5 years ago

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I’m replying to a bunch more wru asks under the cut, so if you’ve sent me one that I haven’t answered yet, it’s probably down here!

I don't know if it was on purpose but FTTT's story has been mostly character driven so far so the jealousy storyline they tried to push in the last minute is out of place. I also agree that there are most likely scenes missing after what happened in the first part of the episode. I can definitely tell that some things aren't going the way they planned and I'm not talking only about SaiZon but about all couples.

Yeah something was definitely missng there plot wise, and as you said I think the show had been mostly character driven and it was working fine like that. They tried to add drama for the sake of having drama in it and edned up ruining the characters they had so nicely built. The show has been all over the place this entire time, but corona must have really screwed things up for them at the end. Hopefully they do get to shoot some more material to fill the holes that were left. I’m still very doubtful we’ll get the apology scene that was very much needed there.

fighter getting drunk, seeing tutor with the kid and then going to tutor and breaking down crying would have had done the same for the story progression as whatever they tried to do today and it wouldn't have harmed the character development of either characters but considering the article i read about thai and rape culture in the media i'm not even surprised that someone thought this was a good idea

I agree 100%. I think that their whole reasoning behind it was to bring Fighter to some sort of “breaking point”, because apparently just seeing Tutor with someone else wouldn’t have done it. I hated that part as well, I don’t think Tutor would ever use someone to get back at Fighter or piss him off so I’m going to erase that from my memory as well. I think that Fighter breaking down could have easily been justified just by him getting drunk and going to Tutor’s to beg him to get back together. Once Tutor refuses, you have the whole scene where Fighter cries. No need for any of this manipulation and assault. Sadly it seems that the writers didn’t see a problem with it. They didn’t even have Tutor ask for an apology, they didn’t make Fighter provide one.

I can’t believe they thought this kind of behavior would make sense coming from Fighter. We’ve seen repeatedly how Fighter has had pretty good impulse control around Tutor, stopping when kisses get too intense because he doesn’t want to “break his promise”, so this was just so out of character. Let’s say he was blinded by jealousy and alcohol, the moment he snapped out of it he would have apologized for sure. The fact that he didn’t in my opinion shows that the writers don’t consider this to be a serious matter. It should have happened right after he stopped, still in that scene, so there is no excuse as to why it’s missing.

but this is exactly what i mean even if they are side characters there are side characters that are important because they are tied to the main characters and then there are just random side characters to fill space and to make the series look more alive but whyru just forgot about all of them. i mean a lot of things went wrong so i guess i will try not to be too harsh but i hope the director can do a better job next time.

For sure! If you’re going to have a ton of side characters, make sure you can handle them. Make sure they have a backstory and enough screen time for people to remember them, to show respect both for the audience and for the actors. The show didn’t go the way they were planning to, and hopefully they get the chance to reshoot and release a new cut over on netflix, but there is a lot of work to do and we just can’t be sure of what was due to covid and what was due to bad writing.

most of the mess in bl series could be avoided if they just consulted an actual lgbt+ representative. i know one person can't represent all of us but it's a start. or honestly any sane person could do it. also how many times have people complained about problematic plot elements like this before? and it's not just international fans i have seen many viral thai tweets as well. you would think someone who spends as much time on twitter as the director of whyru would know better.

I think someone from the crew ism’t straight? But yeah apparently that wasn’t enough. Up until yesterday the show had been doing a good job with this sort of issues, even in ep. 12 the conversation with Fighter’s father was excellent, but they really fucked everything up with part 1. In that case it’s not necessarily about lgbt+ rep, since that scene would have been just as awful with a straight couple, it’s about working with someone who is able to recognize assault and realize that it shouldn’t be treated that lightly, that these characters wouldn’t normally behave like that, and that an apology scene from Fighter would have been needed. I’m staying off of twitter for a while because I honestly can’t watch clips of this episode without feeling sick.

It broke my heart to see Fighter begging his father to be happy. No child should have to BEG their parents just to be happy. I'm a mom and if my daughter would stand bevor me and plead under tears that I should just let her be happy it would destroy me. But this jerk didn't show any reaction. I don't get how to be so cold-hearted. In particular, when he claims that he does everything only for his son. He is no father. He ist just a self centric, control freak with no affection

Hopefully that was the last we’ll ever see of him. I’m pretty sure Fighter is going to tell Tutor that his father had a change of heart or something. because Fighter’s words seemed to have an effect on him and he left without saying anything. Still, I completely understand what you’re saying. He went way too far with his control tendencies, he made both his son and Tutor suffer just because he wasn’t okay with Fighter living his life and being happy for once. I hope Fighter will truly be happy after this and his father will leave him alone and lean to be more accepting. If not, I’m sure that Tutor’s mom and sister are ready to dote on him like a second son.

so apparently the subs for fighter's text messages are completely wrong he doesn't say anything about the beach or zon he is telling him he left and that he hopes he will get better soon and that he is sorry if he made him feel uncomfortable. this is not a small mistake, this is a complete different translation like what the hell. i mean part one is still shit but it makes more sense and explains why tutor was crying after reading the last message.

Yeah I saw that! It looks like there was a second version that included those texts but got scrapped last second and they didn’t get around to editing the subs. I’m sure someone on twitter/youtube will upload a revisited version to fix where the subs were off throughout the episode.

Please tell me, i'm not the only one who felt it's gotten worse when tor replied his kiss. Just because he kissed tor softly didnt mean fight didnt force himself on tutor, right? I'm so afraid everyone will take his action as some kind of 'you said you didnt love him but actually you love him, right?'

Yeah no, it was still forced and non consensual. It started with Fighter physically dragging Tutor to the bedroom while Tutor struggled to get free and told him to stop, so basically everything that happened after was assault no matter what. Tutor barely kissed back, it might have been just out of habit, it does not mean he was okay with it. No matter how soft Fighter was kissing him, he was still holding him down and pushing him, so yeah. Not good. Tutor laying still was a way to show Fighter just how much NOT into it he was. He wasn’t reciprocating anything, he wasn’t responding to his touch, it’s the exact opposite of what we’ve seen in all their heated scenes. I can’t believe anyone could look at it and think that Tutor was okay with it. One thing I will say is that Tutor didn’t look too scared, he was more angry and frustrated. He was probably aware of how out of it Fighter was in that moment, and all it took to get him to stop was Tutor’s voice. The writers want us to feel like Tutor wasn’t that shaken by it because he still loves Fighter and he knows he was just reacting to seeing Tutor with his student, but it’s still really bad. The whole love thing, the I don’t love you anymore line, in my opinion it was meant as a lie to get Fighter to leave him alone and finalize this break up once and for all. I don’t think Tutor ever stopped loving Fighter, even in that moment.

I think they were trying to make the scene In P1 not look as bad as it is by confusing the viewers with Tutor kissing back and letting Fighter in the end but it still is what it is and then right after that they gave us the whole sentimental scene and Fighter crying I like that scene if only it did not start the way it did. And so they expected us to forget or turn a blind eye but I don't think it's gonna work for most people.

[read question above for the first part of the question]

I was definitely unable to properly enjoy that scene after the assault. I think it was an important scene, I liked the writing of it, I liked the flashbacks with the added frames revealing just how gone Fighter was for him since day one. It just didn’t have to be triggered by that. It could have easily existed on its own. I will not be able to rewatch it sadly, and I am so mad because I think Zee was at his best there. Incredible acting, too bad it had to follow that unforgivable scene. Even just a single apology could have made things better. It would have shown that the writers acknowledge how serious that was. But no, it happened and then it was brushed off, then why having it in the first place?

#ask #anonymous #meta

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brightbeautifulthings · 5 years ago

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The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas (trans. Robin Buss)

"'I have heard it said that the dead have never done, in six thousand years, as much evil as the living do in a single day.'"

Year Read: 2019

Rating: 3/5

Context: Last year’s year-long Les Mis read went so well, I decided to choose another intimidating classic to tackle in the same fashion this year. I know myself, and if I don't deliberately pace out a book like this, I'll try to read a thousand pages in a week, and it will just be a miserable experience. (That's not to say some classics aren't miserable experiences regardless of how you read them, but that's another issue entirely.) The Count of Monte Cristo was calling to me from the shelf, and by pure luck, I already owned the edition I wanted to read (plus a B&N abridged version that promptly went into the donation box). Reviews overwhelmingly praise Robin Buss’s translation for ease/modernity, and the Penguin Classics haven’t let me down yet.

For my less coherent updates in real-time: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX. My review is spoiler-free, but my updates are not, so read with caution if you’re not familiar. Trigger warnings: In a book with a thousand pages? Everything, probably, but for sure death, parent/child death, suicide/suicidal thoughts, severe illness, guns, abduction, poisoning, slavery, mental illness, sexism, ableism, grief, depression.

About: When forces conspire to have sailor Edmond Dantès arrested for a crime he didn't commit, he spends years in a hellish prison, fighting to stay sane. Through bravery and good fortune, he manages to escape, and he assumes a new identity for himself: The Count of Monte Cristo. Under this guise, he inserts himself into the lives of the French nobility, vowing revenge on those who wronged him.

Thoughts: Like most thousand page novels, there's no reason this novel needs to be a thousand pages, but the one thing I can say about them, collectively, is that I come away feeling like I have a relationship with them that I usually don't get from a shorter book unless I've read it multiple times. And it makes sense: I've been reading this book for a year. I've had relationships with actual humans that were much shorter than that. Dumas's prose (helped along by Buss's translation) is accessible and not overly dry, if not quite as humorous as Victor Hugo’s. Thanks to both of them, I now have a rudimentary understanding of the French Revolution and the difference between a Royalist and Bonapartist (because truly the only way to make me read about history is to put it in a novel).

Dumas proves himself more capable of staying on topic though, with one or two exceptions. The only margin note I cared to write was, apparently, "Horrible digression", and I stand by that. As soon as the novel leaves Dantès’s perspective, it gets less interesting, beginning with Franz encountering Sinbad the Sailor on Monte Cristo and continuing with the Very Weird and Terrible Side Anecdotes about bandits in Rome. Otherwise, much of the storyline is more or less linear, without the intricacies of Waterloo or the Paris sewer system. It grows more chaotic as the book goes on though, with frequent digressions into every character's backstory.

The plot takes such a drastic turn that it's almost like reading two different novels with two different main characters. At the beginning, it’s most like an adventure story. There are sailors, prison breaks, and buried treasure. Yet, for all those things, it’s surprisingly un-suspenseful. Dumas has a very stolid way of story-telling. The pace is almost supernaturally consistent, so that even things that probably should have tension in them are presented as a matter of course. (Or maybe I’m just hugely desensitized by media.) I wasn’t as excited as I thought I should be during some of the more compelling parts, but there’s something reassuring about Dumas’s relentlessly straightforward story-telling.

The middle takes a major dip in interest. Cue a lot of long and tedious backstories, plus Monte Cristo's elaborate set-ups to take down his enemies. It basically devolves into a soap opera of the various dramas of Paris’s rich and powerful families. Monte Cristo barely needs to lift a finger to destroy these people, since with a few mostly harmless suggestions, it looks like they're all going to self-destruct at any moment without outside help. The ending never really recovers from the action of the beginning, thanks in large part to the characters. There are more than it's worth keeping track of, including a lot of side characters, family members, and name changes. A detailed, spoiler-free flow chart of how everyone is connected to everyone else would have been helpful. (But be careful about Googling those because spoilers.)

Edmond Dantès is an easy hero to pull for, since he’s honest, good, and capable, and he has a kind of earnest faith that things will work out that’s endearing. He goes through a fair amount of character development in prison, and his father/son relationship with Faria is especially moving. On the other hand, it's difficult to like his alternate persona, The Count of Monte Cristo. Dumas goes a bit overboard in making him filthy rich and knowledgeable about literally every subject, and no matter how generous he is to his slaves, they're still slaves. Whether he’s playing the part of a pompous ass or is actually a pompous ass is sort of irrelevant by the end. There are a couple of flailing attempts at character development in the last sections where he wonders whether he had the right to do everything he did, but it's too little/too late to make much of an impact.

The story wouldn't work without some Shakespeare-level villains. Danglars is Iago whispering in Othello’s ear, and Villefort is even more insidious because his upstanding citizen act is so convincing. Caderousse is just a coward, and it’s interesting to see how jealousy, ambition, and fear all play an integral part in condemning an innocent man. Mercédès is a bland love interest; Valentine and Morrel are basically the Cosette and Marius of the novel, but at least there are some decent people on the page to pull for. Much as I dislike all the descriptors of Eugenie as “masculine” (because she must be less of a woman if she has a mind of her own), she's a powerhouse, and I was living for her lesbian relationship with her piano instructor.

It's clear Dumas has no idea when to end a story, since every time I thought we'd wrapped up a plot with a certain character, they'd resurface a few chapters later to spin it out a little further. Though everything (and I do mean everything) moves much more slowly than necessary, I was satisfied with the way it all played out. It's hard to come back from a main character I can barely stand though, and I happen to not like novels where nearly every character is terrible. While I found Les Mis surprisingly relevant on its social commentary, I’m struggling to see why Monte Cristo has stuck around. Only the first parts could reliably be called an "adventure novel," and the rest is purely middle of the road.

#book review #the count of monte cristo #alexandre dumas #monte cristo readalong #classics #3/5 #rating: 3/5

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helvreads · 5 years ago

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Roots, by Alex Haley

This one has been on the shelf for a while, and this is going to be a lengthy review. I’d like to start with my initial introduction to this book, which was many years ago in high school. The summer before my junior year, we had to participate the accelerated reader program; basically we had to read so many points worth of books and then take a computerized test on them when school started back up. Now, I read fast, but I don’t always remember a lot, so I planned to do my reading close to the deadline, which was within a couple weeks of the start of the year. I had picked out my books from the list, gotten them from the library and was ready to get through my 50 points worth of books.

I failed to account for one thing: American literature is generally awful.

My initial plan was to read Main Street by Sinclair Lewis (I couldn’t get through the first chapter), The House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne (the Scarlet Letter was okay, how bad could this one be? Very), and the Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper (the only time I ever got the Cliffs Notes, and I couldn’t make it through those). In retrospect, this was probably one of those occasions that was really a red flag for me having ADHD, but at the time, I was just absolutely bored to death and couldn’t make it through what looked like the best options to get my points. Everything else on the list looked even worse, and the deadline kept creeping closer and closer. Finally, I had four days left and 50 points to get.

Roots was the only book worth 50 points.

I spent every minute not in class or asleep reading it, got through it, took the test, and got my points just in time. It was highly readable, and frankly, an amazing story. For many years, I meant to get a copy for my personal library, but kept getting sidetracked by other things. Now, I’ve finally got that copy and I’ve finally given it the reread it deserved.

This brick of a book is, as the cover of my 30th anniversary edition announces, the saga of an American family. It covers six generations of a single African American family, beginning with an African ancestor kidnapped and sold into slavery, and ending with the author, a free, college educated man in the 60s-70s. While many of the individual details are fictional, the family line is not, and Haley actually did a shit ton of research including several trips to Africa to find out the name of his African ancestor. He also did exhaustive research on the slave trade, and while exact conversations and events may be fictionalized, it is stuff that happened. So it’s biographical fiction, which is why you’ll find it in a couple different places at the bookstore.

We open up with Kunta Kinte, a Mandinka tribesman in the Gambia. We get to watch him grow up, learn how to read and write in Arabic (he’s muslim). We meet his parents, his brothers as they’re born (he’s the oldest of four), numerous villagers, and all in all, I’m down for his adventures here because it’s just cool. Life is promising and full. One day he goes out to cut some wood and never comes back, at least that’s where the story his tribe has ends. But on Kunta’s end...he is kidnapped by slavers, tortured, shipped across the Atlantic, and sold as a slave. No detail is left out, and Haley truly depicts the absolute horror of such a crossing. The squalid, inhumane, diseased, and torturous conditions that Kunta travels in are historically accurate in a way that really strikes home the horror of the Transatlantic Slave trade. Like, we know it was awful, that humans were treated like cargo. But Haley’s depiction really brings it to life, and this is the hardest part of the book to read. It will have any sane person raging anew at those slave traders, and frankly, this passage alone would make Horror a reasonable section to shelve the book in. Kunta survives (many others do not), and is sold into slavery at Annapolis. Like any sane and intelligent person, he tries to escape four times, finally getting caught and crippled by slave catchers. He gets bought by a relatively decent master, at least as decent as anyone who thinks it’s okay to own another human can be. He eventually learns English, and gets the lay of the land from other slaves, learning how truly fucked he is. There’s more, but he winds up marrying, and has a daughter, Kizzy. He tells her where he came from so she knows who her people are, and teaches her some of his language. Kizzy fucks up and gets sold away to a piece of white trash shit, and we get what I found to be the second hardest part of the book. I won’t go into detail because triggers, but Kizzy winds up having a son by her master, and I think we all know how that happened. Her son gets into cockfighting (that’s how their master made his money) and actually does quite well for himself, gets married, has a ton of kids, then he and the master push their luck too far and lose everything. His family gets sold off, he gets loaned out for a few years, the civil war starts, and before his grandkids get too old, the emancipation proclamation happens, everyone gets freed, and the clan moves to Tennessee. With each generation, Kunta’s story gets told and passed on. Then we get the story of how the author’s grandparents met, then his parents, then he gets born, and it wraps up with him explaining how he did the research, eventually finding his ancestor (who eventually became The African) and verifying the rich oral tradition of his family.

The first time I read this, I learned a lot I didn’t know about slavery and how it happened. This time, it really got me thinking about the ramifications of that period of history and exactly how damaging it was. Haley was extremely fortunate to be able to trace his family back that far. Most slaves were lucky if they knew one of their parents. The physical, mental, emotional and other types of torture aside (because I think we can all agree that absolutely none of what happened in that time period to folks of African descent was acceptable in any way, shape or fashion) you have a massive chunk of people completely divorced from their ancestral heritage. The sheer amount lost is staggering, and the length of time it went on, well, no wonder race relations are still a bit shitty. Like,really look at the time line. It’s not been 200 years since the emancipation proclamation. What the fuck. What the fuck. The amount of damage that was done was so huge, honestly, it puts a lot in perspective for me. We’re paying more attention to things now, and that’s the kind of horrific torture that will take a couple hundred years for a society to fully recover from. In many ways we’re very fortunate to live in the times we do, but there’s still a lot of progress to be made.

All in all, I would say this is probably the best piece of American literature there is, and I think it’s definitely among, if not the most significant one. Honestly, it probably should be required reading in schools (definitely high school, there’s a lot that’s not appropriate for younger kids). As Americans, we should be aware of the mistakes that our country has made, not just the successes, so that we can learn from them and do better. It was interesting to see what I took away this time, with the different perspective that time has given me, and it will be interesting to see what I get the next time.

points earned: 1 total points: 33

#nonfiction #fiction #african american studies

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petermjdaya · 6 years ago

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My experience visiting the set of FFH.

Please credit if you share! Warning: Potential Spoilers

I only just stopped crying over this weekend, so hopefully I can write about it coherently. And hopefully I don’t miss anything--besides of course, the parts that I can’t share.

I first just want to say thank you to Mir who has been planning this adventure with me for the past two weeks and kept me sane throughout the weekend. Thanks for being the best temporary roommate, for the Dunkin runs, subway swipes, and of course, the adventure of a lifetime. Jessie- thank you for being braver than the US marines, and for being ten steps ahead of us at all times. To Bayley and the Bosco bitches, everyone I got to meet this weekend- I LOVE YOU. I am grateful to have shared it with you. See you soon.

Note: I have been spending the past 10 days scouting locations, getting some right, some wrong. Every time I see a yellow sign on the street or a suburban or a crowd of people now, my blood pressure rises. My anxiety truly won this week. I tried to be as discreet as possible about specifics, telling white lies when I needed to, or avoiding DM’s, which probably came off as very selfish. But I want to say that I was genuinely looking out for the cast and their safety. Seeing fans run after cars, autograph collectors stand outside of their trailers, and even hear people say “if I don’t get a picture with ____ this won’t be worth it” made me really sad. At the end of the day, the thing I realized most this weekend was how much Tom and Zendaya care about their fans. If they interacted with us, most of us put our phones away just to be able to make a genuine connection with them. They look you directly into the eyes and talk to you as if you have been friends for years. I really really appreciate that. I hope you all get the chance to experience the same thing.

Edited to include meeting Tom on Thursday, 10/18/2018.

Friday

It started around 6:40 am on Friday. My best friend Kacey and I met up with Mir, then Jessie, then Liz. We all sat in a Starbucks near the 8th Avenue set, and noticed crew getting ready and moving equipment. While we were waiting for our food, Darnell walked in. WE HAD ONLY BEEN THERE FOR FIVE MINUTES and we did not want to expose ourselves as fans so early in the morning especially since crew members were also there. We ended up just smiling and eating to conserve our energy for what would be an incredibly long day. Then we left to see if the cast had arrived and where they would actually be filming. We camped out in the Duane Reade across the street (in the back of some set photos) for probably 45 minutes before we saw Tom, Zendaya, Harry, and their PA’s. They arrived together (not in costume) and started walking over to their trailer(s). Miranda spotted them first, and we loosely followed them to see where they were going. Zendaya crossed the street first, then Tom and Harry. So we only saw which trailer Tom and Harry walked into. We ended up walking back to set and saw that they had extras sitting on the steps of Penn Station getting directions. Crew members directed us away from the set and we complied. Jessie ended up sitting on the steps and wasn’t questioned until later (and then was kicked out when they realized she wasn’t an extra, hahaha but we applaud her bravery anyway). We walked in circles, breaking into smaller groups so we wouldn’t seem suspicious and then went into the Post Office above Penn Station. We saw the two stunt doubles being hooked up to the crane and joked about how it would probably be a spideychelle scene. Then we saw Tom and Zendaya walk into Penn Station so we walked in as well, but they had gone to a private corridor so Tom could get changed into the spidey costume. Everything after that happened very quickly. Liz decided to sit on the Penn Station steps which was no longer being used for a scene, and luckily, she spotted Zendaya and Tom (in costume) before the rest of NYC. We secured a spot at the top of the steps while they discussed the scene and were hooked up to the crane. I was live tweeting at that point but I did not want to get in trouble, so I hinted that fans would be excited for the scene. I am so sorry for teasing. I am genuinely scared of Marvel and did not want them to come for me. I hope that Marvel does not come after my ass for writing this. Please, God.

Tom and Zendaya spotted us almost immediately, which is funny because we assumed that Tom couldn’t see very far through the mask. The first time we waved, it was basically only us on the steps and Zendaya waved right back. After they filmed a couple of takes of the scene with them going up, then high-fiving, Tom did a particularly good take so we fake clapped. He saw it and tilted his head back (probably laughing) and gave us a peace sign. Zendaya immediately looked over at us too and waved. Ugh. King and Queen. When we took our phones out to take pictures, and see how twitter was reacting to locals’ tweets about the scene, Zendaya pretended to be scrolling on her phone and Tom pretended to be texting exaggeratedly, mocking us. They both laughed at our asses. We were so caught off by this and I hid my phone so quick so they wouldn’t drag me again. We sat on the steps and watched them do multiple takes, which some found to be super tedious but I found super interesting. They would yell “ROLLING!” and the cameras would start rolling, then “BACKGROUND” and extras would start moving, then “CAMERA” and the camera would start moving, then of course, the actors cue, “ACTION!”.

Every time they would finish the scene, Tom and Zendaya would talk, Jon would come over to probably give them feedback on the scene, and when they had time, they would look over and wave to fans. Our group got bigger throughout the day when Bayley, Troy, Maria, etc joined and Tom and Zendaya would always acknowledge us. We truly felt like the chosen ones. Harry even took a picture of us on his camera, and some crew members put us on their stories. We always waved when they turned around, and they smiled. Finally T and Z finished the scene and went back inside, waving at us and the rest of the fans who had arrived. The crew filmed more scenes with extras, then Zendaya filmed a scene, and then Tom came out (as Tom) and walked back to his trailer. He ended up coming back less than an hour later to get changed back into the spidey suit. The lighting kept changing, so they changed positions multiple times. After they would finish a scene they went into a tent to watch it on the monitors. I did not realize that Kevin Feige was sitting inside until he came out to take a phone call. Jessie had spotted Amy Pascal that morning, so both of them were present to see Tom and Zendaya film their scene.

By the end of the day on this particular set, we had moved around quite a lot. We were asked to leave the steps so we went across the street. Whenever the crew told us to move, we complied. At one point we were literally standing next to Remy and only Maria had realized. The amount of times this happened this weekend was literally ridiculous. He eventually went over to Zendaya to say hi and then talked to Harry and another PA. Some guy behind us kept yelling at Harry, which at first was pretty funny until he started shouting repeatedly for a selfie. Harry ended up walking away. Lol. Then we were told we had to move because we were blocking the sidewalk, so we asked a crew member if we could go sit back on the steps. He said yes, so we did. Then we were stopped twice by crew members who told us we couldn’t go back up, but the guy in charge told them that we could. Wow, our power. Shoutout to them for being super nice. <3

One funny story from this is that at one point I had reached up with my shirt to clean the lense of Kacey’s camera, accidentally flashing the cast, crew, as well as the city of New York. The dumbass in me truly jumped out on this day. I am so sorry to all witnesses.

Eventually, they wrapped filming for this location and everyone clapped. It was an amazing feeling and all of my new friends hugged. We could not believe that we saw Tom and Zendaya, that they acknowledged us, that they filmed a spideychelle scene and that it was only 12:30. SO MUCH HAD HAPPENED. Zendaya was standing there talking to Harry and we wanted to ask her for a picture but the crew moved us along. I am the queen of eavesdropping and heard a crew member say the intersection of the next location, so we headed there. We got there early and ended up getting some food, water, and charging our phones.

While we were looking for the location, we split up to see if the cast had arrived yet, and Miranda and I ended up running into Zach and Jacob. We had no idea what to do and did not want to bother them for a picture because we knew it was their day off. So I just said “hii!!” and Miranda said “Hi Jacob and Zach!” Jacob said “oh hi!” and seemed surprised that we had stopped them. They were super sweet and smiled at us. We ended up saying “Hi love you” and walking away. It was honestly super awkward. Jacob and Zach--we are so sorry. Less than 5 minutes later we walked right in front of where they were going to begin filming and I saw a tiny black dog crossing the street. I immediately knew it was Noon and then looked up to see Darnell walking him. LMK WHY I GOT SO EXCITED. I had never wanted to pet a dog so much in my life. I miss you already, king. I hope you are ok after your trip to the vet. (I say as if he will ever read this--wtf).

The afternoon location was pretty anticlimactic. They had blocked off both sides of the road and there was no upper vantage point, so we only saw them film a couple of shots. They also filmed with the crane and you guys probably saw Spider-man swing around a pole, surprise Michelle, then them jump up. They filmed this a bunch of different ways. It seemed that they couldn’t tell whether Spider-man should impress MJ by swinging up to her or simply walking up to her, so they filmed it both ways. The last shot was of Spider-man and MJ jumping up, and again MJ looks a little frightened. So during the last few takes, when Zendaya had a goofy look on her face and Tom jumped up with his legs in an awkward position, we figured they were out of character and just having fun. We started clapping and cheering for them and they did it again. We joked about them having done it just for us. After their last take, we cheered and they cheered too and danced. Then they wrapped, went inside the pharmacy (probably to get warm and see the shot on the monitor).

We walked around a little after this to see if they had moved back to their trailers, and ended up not seeing much, so we decided to split up and go home. As the two groups of us walked separate ways, something told me, Kacey, and Mir to stay. A second later we saw Tom take a picture with fans, literally SPRINT to his trailer, come out with a beanie on, and then leave with Harry. He waved at us and then got into his car. We didn’t chase after him for a picture because boundaries--and because he looked super tired. We stood on the corner for a second and at this point it was Troy, Maria, Bayley, Jessie, me, Karina, Kacey, and Mir. Since we were a large group we were anxious about not being able to meet either Tom or Zendaya. Crowds can be overwhelming so we tried to keep our distance. While walking back we saw Darnell putting Noon in the car, and Miranda greeted him. HE WAS SO NICE YOU GUYS. I want to create a stan account for him. I love him so much.

We stood outside because it was just us and another girl who had met Zendaya already because we figured at the very least, we would see her walk into her trailer. I turned around to watch the crew clean up and put equipment back in the trucks, and by the time I turned back around, Zendaya was standing right there. I probably looked really fucking dumb in this moment because the only thing I could do was smile. I think I said “Oh shit, hi!” and she said “Hi guys, how are you”. It was a little awkward. I don’t know why I expected her to be different, but she seemed smaller in a way. She was out of costume, wearing Storm’s shirt, and her hair was down. If she was wearing makeup, it was minimal. Her eyes were fucking gorgeous, and when she talked to us it felt like we were talking to a friend. She really makes an effort to make eye contact with each person and make sure they all get to say something. When she looked at me, I swear I saw God. She smiled and I think she glanced at my kizzmet necklace, but I was too shy to say anything and didn’t want to take away anyone else’s time with her, so I just kind of agreed with what everyone else was saying. (“of course!” when she thanked us for coming, laughing when she said she had seen us rocking with them all day, agreeing that we got up early to see them work, and confirming that we would probably see them later in the week.) She was so fucking sweet, and thanked us for being there, and said she wanted to come say hi to us all day. Then someone said “I like what you and Tom were doing with your legs at the end of that take, that was funny” or something like that, and she laughed and said, “Someone told us we should do something funny to say hi to you guys, so we asked to do another take.” Like- they really did that for us. I have to cry. I think I said “oh my god, we thought that might be for us, but we didn’t want to assume-” and she said “no yeah, it was!”. Finally we said that we loved her and that she was so beautiful and she said that we were all so beautiful. I must have missed that because my brain stopped functioning every time we made eye contact. I am such a fucking dork…. She took a picture with someone else then I asked Bayley to ask her to take a group photo, because she needed to get home. She said “of course!” and took it on Bayley’s phone. Then she thanked us again and told us to have a good night, so we walked away. We could not believe that had just happened…. And when her car left, we waved, and Tom’s car did too. We freaked out a little. I called my mom.

Then we ended up talking to a really lovely PA who was genuinely impressed that we knew what the project was and all of the locations. We told her about how we all met via Twitter, and she said that she admired our dedication. Mostly, we talked to her about how she got her job (in general, not for this film). Then we thanked her for being so lovely and said that she did a great job with crowd control (because she did, she always kindly asked us to move and was nice when we complied). We also joked around with her because throughout the day, people kept thinking she was Zendaya (lol), but she said that Z was really nice and was really happy that we got to meet her. She gave us her instagram, hugged us and mentioned that it would be a five day shoot. I should note that I said her name in my instagram live, but I honestly regret that now. She ended up making her account private and I felt awful because fans were invading her DM’s. I did not want to get her in trouble. She was so kind to us. Please, if you know who she is, and found her account, do not bother her.

Then we went home. Mir stayed with me that night because she lives far from the school set. I could not believe that I had met Zendaya and that I got to do it with people I met because of Zendaya. It truly felt like a dream, the whole day did. And I hope that everyone reading this gets to experience this as well. I only walked into this thinking that I would *possibly* see them film a scene, that I would *possibly* provide content for you guys. I never anticipated meeting her. I never anticipated the love she showed us all day. Tom either. I will go to bed with a smile on my face for the rest of my life, I think.

Saturday

We were not chosen as extras. So this ended up being a problem when we realized that the set location would be inside and closed. Miranda and Jessie had heard from our PA friend that you could see if they were giving out vouchers to be an extra, so they ended up going inside, kindly asking a bunch of PAs where to go, and then were yelled at by a crew member. Honestly, if there was a secret blacklist for the set, we were probably on it. When the casting notice was advertised by everyone and their mother, fans with no acting or background experience probably flooded their email server. To the poor interns who had to filter through those, I am so sorry. We saw Remy and Darnell in the morning, but did not want to say hi and bother them (this was a common theme this weekend).. The crew was so intimidating and we didn’t want to get in trouble. Plus it was freezing and raining, so we ended up going home. We did not intend to come back, but we kept reminding ourselves that Zendaya told us she expected to see us throughout the week. So like crackheads, we went back to set.

We met Zach who was super sweet, and saw Remy with the crew. I don’t know why but every single time we saw Remy, we were too shy to say hi. I wanted to tell him that I saw Crazy Rich Asians 6 times and that my mom’s cousin was also in the movie, or even just to congratulate him on the film’s success. RIP to that concept. BUT ZACH WAS SO NICE! We apologized for the awkward greeting the day before and he joked that he gets nervous in front of Jacob too. We congratulated him on being in the film and asked him what the experience had been like. He was so happy to talk about it and thanked us for coming and being so respectful. We got a picture with him, thanked him again, and then he asked if we were from NY and we said “we go to school here!” and he said “here?” (asking about the high school set), so we said no and clarified. Apparently he has friends at Mir’s university. We love that.

It was just a few of us waiting by Z’s trailer, until it wasn’t. And then these mom’s and their kids showed up, and autograph collectors too. When Zendaya left her trailer and walked to her car, people started running after her. We were so disappointed that people are so fucking selfish, and we just stood there, waving as her car left. We just wanted her to know that we were there for Day 2 and wanted to support her, but I want to note that we weren’t upset about not being able to take individual photos or anything like that.

Then we saw commotion outside of the wardrobe trailer and realized that Tom had come back to change out of costume. There were probably 20+ people in a group waiting. When he did come out, most people just took a picture with him and walked away, not really saying anything to him at all. He did get to meet real fans that were kind to him and spoke to him. They know who they are and they know that I personally do not think they specifically mobbed Tom. But it was a crowd full of people, and we felt bad, so we left.

Mir, Jessie and I ended up walking over to the PA we had met the day before, and she was with Zach. I said “I feel so bad, they just mobbed Tom” and the PA thanked me because she said the crowd never should have formed in the first place. The funny thing about this was that Remy, Jacob, Zach, and even Angourie were standing right there, and the locals who wanted a picture with Tom didn’t even notice. We said hi to Jacob as he walked by. Remy left. I did not get to see Angourie. Then we talked to Zach about crowds of fans and how for us, when we realized we would not be able to get to talk to Tom we walked away. For us it really wasn’t about getting the picture. I know that sounds like I am putting myself on some kind of moral pedestal, but I genuinely mean that. I only wanted them to know how much it meant to me to see them and how happy I was that they were all together again. Zach thanked us for being respectful, and we got to talk to him a little more about fans and Europe. He was so great, and said thank you, and left. We also saw Tony leave, and then so did we.

Sunday

Sunday there were two locations, so Jessie, Miranda and I went to the Manhattan one. We figured we would stop there in the morning and then the school in the afternoon. We decided to sit at tables near where they were filming, and a PA came up to us, and asked us to move because they were filming a movie. We apologized and feigned ignorance, and moved where they asked us too. Eventually they stopped letting people into that area, so if they got a wide shot, we may have been in it. The scene itself was just a bus turning the corner and pedestrians walking. It was very anticlimactic. On twitter, I talked a little bit about my struggle with anxiety. On Sunday, the lack of sleep, dehydration, and energy got to me. I could not eat or sleep because of how anxious I was becoming and I ended up going home home to see my family. Though I regret letting anxiety get in the way, it was nice to take a deep breath and step away from the craziness for a minute. I gave Miranda a letter that I wrote to Zendaya and asked her to hug her for me. She delivered it to Darnell who said he would give it to Z. Hopefully she reads it. It really just said thank you and that this weekend made me so happy. I talked about how through her I have made friends from all over the world, and then said that it meant everything to support her because of how much she has inspired and empowered me. I meant every word. I signed it from Miranda too. Later she called Miranda and Jessie, along with other fans, her friends. I could not have been happier for them <3

Monday

Monday I got to sleep in finally. I went to a meeting. I planned on going to class. Then Miranda texted and said her evening class was canceled. . . so we decided to skip our afternoon class and go to Newark airport. Someone really should have stopped us. We met up with two other fans but kept our distance because we did not want to appear as a group. We saw the whole cast (including king, Martin Starr) filming an arrival scene. I talked to an extra who actually works for United Airlines, and she was super sweet. She said that they had been filming a terminal scene practically all day. We could not see much of the scene because of all of the extras, but we do know Flash gets picked up by a fancy driver with “Thompson” written on an iPad. The scene itself was quite short, and honestly reminded of the scene in Homecoming when they get picked up after DC. We saw Tom for a few seconds as Peter, and then him and Zendaya dancing in between takes. Also, we may be in the background of that scene as well. Then, they wrapped. We had been there for the wrap at Penn Station and it was exciting, but something about this wrap was different. Everyone was hugging and cheering and we all clapped. I did not realize this until the next day, but that night, the supporting cast had wrapped on the movie. I feel genuinely grateful to have experienced that with them, even from afar. They did not stop for fans before leaving together, but we did not expect them too. Hopefully they celebrated afterwards!

Tuesday

Day 5/5. We knew this was the last day because our PA friend had told us, but when the supporting cast posted about wrapping, and then Tom did as well, it became real. Miranda, Jessie and I met up at 7:30am in Brooklyn and saw the crew setting up. At this point we knew that the crew knew who we were, but what would they have said to us? At times, they made comments such as “you guys are here again?” and we would just say “yup”. It was frustrating that some of the crew did not understand that we were not there to get autographs or pictures but rather to see the cast, say hello and thank you, and watch the production take place. We would have put our phones away if asked. There is a fine line between locals who want pictures with the cast for retweets, autograph collectors who are only interested in making money, fans who are there to get pictures and go home, and fans who were there to support the cast with or without getting a picture. Some people really did not know how to act, and the entitlement and disrespect jumped out multiple times. We tried to be patient and respectful, which I think the crew appreciated.

Our group missed Tom taking pictures with fans by literally seconds. I ended up going home for a 12:15 acting class and missed him filming the scene at Delmar’s deli. Jessie and Mir have tweets about it though, and I am sure you have seen the set photos. I came back around 4. I was so sad to have missed seeing Tom play Peter and shoving doritos down his throat, but I was so happy that Miranda, Liz, Maria, and Jessie got such great photos and videos.

I hope you guys don’t mind, but let me just talk about the group of friends I made this weekend for a second. Troy, Maria, Mir, Jessie, and Liz are practically my family now. Those who get noticed by tomdaya together, stay together. We always shared food, got each other hot chocolates from Dunkin (the amount of hot chocolates we consumed was disgusting… our blood stream was comprised of 33% hot chocolate.), cuddled, and laughed together. At nights we got cold and delirious and laughed at pretty much anything. We also got super emo, and at a ramen restaurant, we went around talking about how much this weekend has meant for us. It was super soft. For most of us, Zendaya, Marvel (and Spider-man specifically) has inspired us, saved us, and given us a reason to wake up in the morning. As dramatic and cliche as it may sound, coming to set even just to watch them film, and hear them shout “Rolling!” gave us something to look forward to. Even if we had bouts of anxiety or depression, we were all here for each other. We hugged and hugged, and headed to the night shoot for the final scenes. Crowds formed, but many were disappointed to learn that Tom was not there. The scene took place at what appeared to be a makeshift homeless shelter, and there were signs saying “The Salvation Army”. There was also a spider-man cutout outside of the shelter. The scene itself was supposed to be “a Sunday evening stroll” so extras simply walked by, the train went by, and two cars drove down the street. Over and over. I laughed because it reminded me of the fanfic Double Life, even though Tom and Z were not on set for this shot. Then it appeared they had wrapped, because the extras went back to holding. We decided to stay, even though fans left to see if Tom was at his trailer. He posted that he was on his way to shoot his last scene, so we stayed on our corner. At this point, it was probably less than 50 degrees (F) outside. We were cold, kind of delirious, but wanted to see them wrap and were hopeful that Tom would come say hi to us. He, Harry, and his PA’s arrived and went inside. The scene was shot on the roof of the building so we could not see exactly what happened. (Sorry!) Then we saw people on the roof hug, and knew they had wrapped. There were maybe 20 fans total there. Maybe. When Tom came out, he waved at us, walked into his car, then came out. We’re pretty sure he was about to come over and talk to us, but one “fan” ran over to his car and literally tried to push past a security guard. If we had a chance of him coming over, it was ruined. He got into the car, then stopped it right in front of us and rolled down the window to wave and say “hi” and “thank you.” We congratulated him on wrapping and then he drove away. He was wearing the varsity spider-man jacket that the cast and crew got today as a wrap present. After he left, our group took some pictures, congratulated crew members, and said goodbye. I miss all of them already! It was such an honor to be there not only to see them film, but to see them from the first take to the last in nyc, and to see them finish the project they have been working on all summer. I could tell they were all relieved to go home.

Thursday

After Tuesday night I tried (and failed) to get my life back together following the craziest 5 days of my life. On Thursday, I slept in late, attended a club meeting, ordered some food, and put laundry in the wash, when I got a text from Miranda that Tom would be on the Jimmy Kimmel show. At first I was super confused, I hadn’t read the text correctly, I didn’t understand that Jimmy was filming in Brooklyn for his show because I knew he generally filmed in Los Angeles, and I didn’t understand why Tom would be on the show. I told her and Jessie that I couldn’t go, because I had class at 4:35 and laundry in the dryer. Nevertheless, I went. I took my roommate with me, and saw a long line outside of the Brooklyn Academy of Music. I circled around to see any sign of Tom, and spotted his car near stage door. He was already inside. I weighed my options carefully. It was cold, I was busy, I had laundry in the dryer in a community building. I wanted to go home, but something in me told me I had to stay. My roommate left and wished me good luck, and I decided to text Maria, who I mentioned earlier in this post as part of the group of girls who visited set all 5 days. She was luckily already there. We decided to get on line for Jimmy Kimmel because I knew one of the workers, who used to work on a show I did background work and had attended audience tapings for several times. We talked and I asked if there was a stand by line, he said he would help but could only get us individual tickets. We took them anyway. At first I didn’t even know if Tom would be on the show, but luckily, he did a skit with Guillermo and the crowd went wild. New York truly loves Tom Holland’s Spider-man.

Typically you’re not allowed to leave if you’re filling an audience for a taping of a live show. Somehow we left after Tom’s skit, and didn’t have to explain ourselves to anyone. Thank you, Universe. We went back to where I saw Tom’s car and they were moving it to the Stage Door. There were less than 10 people standing behind a barricade, so we stood there too. The other people there were not there for Tom, and didn’t even know he was on the show. Less than 10 minutes later, Tom came out. He waved, and I said “Hi Tom, how are you?” And he said “good thanks,” and I said “can we please get a picture?” And he said “yeah sure, let me just put this in my car” so Maria and I waited. At that point, the others behind the barricade started asking for pics and autographs (lol) so we waited for them to go first even though both us, and Tom knew we had asked first. He came over and I greeted him again, saying “hi how are you thank you for doing this” and he said “good thanks, no problem, do you want me to take it?” And I said, “yes please!” And handed him my phone. He took the picture, said thank you and then greeted Maria. He had been smiling his typical dorky closed smile that we love so much, until Maria said it was amazing seeing him on set. He laughed into a smile and said, “you did? you guys were on set? That’s awesome” and took the picture, then handed back her phone. I felt like an idiot because I couldn’t stop talking. So I said “We went all 5 days to support you guys, it was so amazing to see you do what you love” and he looked me in the eyes, smiled and said “thank you so much, that’s amazing” and signed another couple of autographs. Then he said he had to go and walked back to his car so we said “thank you, have a good night!” And I said “congratulations on wrapping Spider-man Far From Home! Can’t wait to see it.” And he gave us a ✌🏽 sign. He was lovely. It was a brilliant way to wrap this week. I hugged and hugged Maria, went to Target and bought a pair of pants, then almost got run over for walking across the street with my head in the clouds. We love that.

Overview.

Earlier this year, my RA asked us to make a bucket list for the school year. I wanted to put “Meet Zendaya” on it, but chose not to because I thought it was an unrealistic goal. I did not walk into this weekend thinking that I would meet her and Tom, I did not walk into this weekend expecting to see them film a spideychelle scene. I did not expect to see and meet the majority of the cast. I never ever thought that I could meet so many mutuals and become so close to them within such a short period of time. I could not be more grateful for the past 6 days. It felt like a dream that is so hard to wake up from. I cannot wait to see the movie and cry as soon as I see the scenes that they filmed right in front of my eyes.

As for Tomdaya tea, I will say this. There are a lot of pictures of Zendaya smiling while filming the scene with Tom as Spider-man. I hope you all know that if she is smiling in the picture, that is ZENDAYA not MJ. MJ is frightened during the scene, then a little uncomfortable, then concerned. Her expressions during the scene were serious. But in between takes, her and Tom laughed, joked around, danced, made fun of us, waved to other fans, talked to Jon, Harry etc. It was very windy, so yes Tom helped fix her hair at points. It became a problem during the scene because her hair would cover her face. They would cut, laugh about it, and would go again. However, that video of them play fighting and running in place, then hugging, was just them tiring themselves out and picking up where they left off from the other scene. That does not take away from the fact that it was super cute. Zendaya looked so genuinely happy, and it made ME happy to see her so happy. I couldn’t see Tom’s face with the mask on, but I just know he had a dorky smile on his face the whole time. They both were so comfortable with each other. I cannot wait to see Michelle and Spider-man’s dynamic in the film. We really went from Peter Parker not saying a single line to MJ, (except as Spidey) to them being an iconic duo. We stan. And yes, I have theories about what will happen between them, but for now, i’ll leave it at this.

Thank you all for congratulating us and being so sweet. It was an honor to provide you with content, and of course, DM me or send me CCs if you have questions. Hope you all have a great week, go see Spider-Man Far From Home in theatres July 5, 2019. <3

xo, Marisa

#spider-man #spider-mam ffh #tomdaya #spideychelle #spiderman #spiderman far from home #far from home #ffh #nyc #tom holland #zendaya

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desperatelyseekingroleplay · 6 years ago

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Literate/Advanced, Long-Term, All Queer Slice of Life?

BIG EDIT: I could really use a lot more writing to keep me busy right now, so here I am. I have a lot of time on my hands and nothing else to fill it with - at least not in a rewarding way. Translation: My muse is on. Everything else is... weird right now. Anyway...Thanks for reading my ad.

Currently Craving: Some kind of m//, slice of life, best friend drama and fluff. I have a character in mind for this that needs attention. - This is usually always true. XP! But give me any gay, modern plot and I will at least think about it. Also - werewolves. Something loosely based on WoD, Werewolf the Apocalypse would be great. Maybe something based on the idea of AFK, the Kiwi webseries. I just need things to write.

Okay! I feel like I’m horrible at these things, but here goes…

For the purpose of the roleplay, you can call me Phina (hi!). I seem to have slowly lost all my roleplay partners – such is life, I know - but entropy is only natural, right? (No, really…I’ve been really lucky overall recently, but I have lost one or two partners and could really use one or two more roleplays.)

Anyway! I’m sure I’m going to scare people off by saying this, but I love both quality and quantity. I love writing detailed stories with strong character development and relationships. For me, it’s the characters that are most important. I do understand that posts tend to vary in length as the roleplay goes on – I don’t want filler, but please try for at least two paragraphs every time. I will write you novels (at least four paragraphs, probably more), especially if I am inspired. If that bothers you, we are not a good match. That being said, I am very laid back once I get to know you. If you have a character that I love, I will probably be more accepting of shorter replies (no less than a paragraph) - especially if I know a lot about them already.

I hate that we have to cover this at all, but all the standard rules apply. If you haven’t been roleplaying long enough to know them, it’s very unlikely that we will make a good match. As a big thing, please don't control my character. Even little things can be done badly so easily, taken too far or in the wrong direction. I don't want to lose creative control over my character ever. I know sometimes it can be tempting to do it to move the plot along and there are some small exceptions once two characters/the roleplay are established and flowing well, but in general, please don't. Just don't. It will completely turn me off writing with you. Fast. Talking first, at least, is important. Communication is everything.

Just show me respect and I will do you the same kindness, okay? If you need to drop the roleplay, please tell me. That way, I know and I can move on (or we can create something new together). If you’re going to be away -again- please tell me. Don’t be afraid to tell me if something isn’t working, either. Overall, I think communication is really the key thing here. I want us both to be comfortable with everything about the roleplay, and we shouldn’t roleplay at all if something doesn’t feel right. Other than that, just do your best to create/write a realistic and engaging character and we will be best friends - and being friends with the people you write with is generally the best.

Limits

Blood and Gore: None; realistic blood and gore is totally okay and a natural part of life.

Swearing: None; swearing is a valid and a much needed form of expression.

We fade to black unless I know you well. Beyond that, the specifics of what I'm willing or not willing to write in the bedroom can be discussed later, once you've become a friend.

Timeline

*I live in the Eastern Standard time zone.

*I’m finished school and I don’t work, so I have a lot of time on my hands, but I do spend a lot of time training for three different sports and LARP/tabletop has become a passion. I can still get pretty busy, trust me.

*I will probably have time to post about once a week. However, as workload and other commitments change, it could be more often – or less often. I think the main issues now are energy levels and muse. I’m finding myself needing more roleplays than I had during school because I do have both more free time and more energy. I still get busy - I still have days where I can’t reply - but I would like to have more than one active, long-term roleplay at a time. Muse and energy levels be damned.

*I will try my best to keep you updated on those changes. I expect you to try to do the same.

*I would love a reply once a week (more often is great, too!). However, I totally understand those when life eats you whole and you have to painstakingly de-zombie-fy yourself because there is/was just too much life going on at once for you to both handle and stay sane at the same time – never mind roleplaying! Just try to warn me?

Important Notes

*This roleplay will be 21 plus (I’m 29 now) and over email. I'm slowly learning how to make good use of a Discord server. I may do a forum or a Google Docs roleplay if you are lucky, though…or even Skype for the right person and plot.

*Also! I primarily do queer roleplays. I haven’t found a standard mxf roleplay fun in years. However, the full gender spectrum is more than welcome. I guess you could get me to do mxf that way…lol!

*I’m queer and NB myself. (I love they pronouns. <3)

On to the genres!

*Sci-fi *Modern/futuristic fantasy

*Gifted *Runaways

*School (boarding school, arts school, high school, college)

*Dystopian Society/Post-Apocalyptic Society

*Anything with disabilities included in a positive way

*Some modern, slice of life stuff, where we can make cute, fluffy awkwardness together; think close childhood friends that accidentally get separated by life and are reunited years later and all the feelings that could/would bring up, or a long time unspoken crush that is only brought to light when a mutual friend brings together an unlikely couple

*Modern vampires, werewolves and mages

* I like characters with depth. I want fluff, but I also love it when a character has a backstory chalked full of things that make them them, both good and bad. I love to see how they are feeling, what they are thinking and why. I want to see them change and grow as time goes on and they process the things that have happened to them in life. I would love a roleplay and characters that I can get invested in, one that will make me both laugh and cry. Basically, I want realistic characters that I can relate to.

Odd Pairings Rich x Poor (homeless)

Deaf x Hearing

Gifted x Gifted (or non-gifted human; think X-Men style)

Gay x Closeted (Childhood) Best friend x (Childhood) Best friend

I’m sure there are more I’m forgetting…but any of these can also be combined together for even more fun! I want to take the time to plot with you.

Note: I don’t really do fandoms, and I definitely don’t play with canon characters.

Random: The friendship between Matt and Foggy in Netflix Daredevil is really well done and adorable. Too bad I never play cannon characters. <3 That’s the kind of bonding and character development that I live for!

Also! Something based on Sense8 would be cool. What I’ve seen of it so far is awesome - though I’m not sure how a roleplay could be done or how it would go. Falling Skies is also cool, as are Firefly, Orphan Black, AFK and Guardians of the Galaxy.

Oh! A note about my writing style: I tend to like to paint pictures with my writing, especially when inspired. I write detailed, flowy and almost poetic posts a lot. Everything has to fit together. If you like that sort of thing and have a writing style close to that, we’ll be wonderful. That’s a bonus in my mind.

Thanks for reading all this. I look forward to hearing from you!

#Desperately Seeking Roleplay #Writing Partner Wanted #Roleplay Partner Wanted #Roleplay Partner Ad #Roleplay Partner Needed #Original Roleplay Wanted #Long Term Roleplay Wanted #21+ Roleplay Wanted #Slice of Life Roleplay Wanted #Seeking Roleplay Partner #submission

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iceamericanoventi · 6 years ago

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Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face.

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

“Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

#shinee fiction #shinee scenario #LWFAWWE

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rainbow-sides · 6 years ago

Text

Anomalies: Chapter Twelve

Summary: Anomalies is about different reactions to grief and how four brothers each respond to the death of their mother. The oldest brother, Roman, gets custody of the twins, Patton and Virgil, and the youngest brother, Logan, after their mother’s death. Virgil is also trying to navigate through a multitude of anxiety disorders, including OCD and trichotillomania, with the help of his brothers and his therapist, Dr. Picani. But meanwhile, Roman isn’t sure he can handle the responsibility of taking care of his brothers, Logan doesn’t process loss in a way most people can understand, and Patton isn’t nearly as okay as he seems…

Warnings: Death of a parent, grief, talk of self-harm and panic attacks, mention of a suicide attempt of a family member, overworking, stress, neglect of self-care, keeping secrets, coping mechanisms, insecurities. For a list of the content warnings for the whole story as well as more information, please see this post. Please heed the warnings and stay safe.

Word Count: 3,191

Notes: Roman’s chapter! This basically takes you through what Roman has been doing and feeling since his mother’s death. The chapter also really focuses on the Logince relationship. Hope you enjoy! <3 ~Martin

Masterpost to All Chapters

Roman couldn't remember the last time he had gotten a full night's sleep.

It had to have been before their mother's death. Between making phone calls, doing paperwork, and comforting his little brothers, the week between the death and the funeral held no sleep at all for him. And the night after the funeral, he had slept for a few hours in Logan's bed but had then gotten up to check on Patton, who had fallen asleep on the floor. He had picked him up and put him in bed, noticing the tear tracks on the poor kid's face.

And after that, if he wasn't working or driving the kids around or studying for tests, he was writing. The novel flowed from his mind to his hands, through his pen and onto the pages of his many fancy notebooks faster than he had ever written before. He poured his heart and soul into this book, venting his grief and frustrations and fears onto the Prince of a faraway kingdom whose mother, the Queen, died and left him in charge of a kingdom that he wasn't prepared to rule. That he had never wanted to rule. The Prince had to navigate politics and trade and laws, as well as his own grief and that of his siblings. There were sicknesses in the kingdom and dragons attacking, and the Prince didn't know what to do.

Roman didn't, either. All he could do was stay afloat for another day, another week, month, and soon it would get easier. Right? It had to. He couldn't continue like this much longer.

He spent every night hunched over his notebook until he was close to passing out from exhaustion, and then he would hide the notebook in the secret drawer in his desk. That way, nobody would find it. When each notebook was filled, he would type it out and add it to the document he kept on his computer. It was getting close to 50,000 words. Not the longest thing he had written, but it was going to be eventually. He had plans.

Of course, he never planned on publishing it. There was no way he could do that, even though he knew it was the best thing he had ever created. If he published it, his brothers would see it. They would read it, and they would realize how Roman did things so wrong. He was making light of the situation, making it into a fantasy. They would know that he couldn't handle it if it was real all the time, and they would hate him. He knew they would.

But without being able to continue with theater right now, he did need something, some fantasy world to lose himself inside of. If he didn't, he would go absolutely crazy. He knew that too well. And he had to keep himself sane however he could. His brothers needed him.

He had just barely begun to think that maybe it was starting to get easier, that the reprieve he so desperately needed was upon him. The routine was becoming less impossible to follow. His frantic writing slowed down just slightly, and he started to get about 5 or 6 hours of sleep every night. And then Patton had done that.

Trying to drown oneself belonged in Shakespeare plays and the biographies of old poets, not in Roman’s goddamned family.

The couple of minutes between when he had received the call from Virgil and when he had been told that Patton was alive were the worst minutes of his life. And that included being at the hospital to hear the heart monitor flatline and having to go back out of the room to where Patton and Logan were waiting, terrified, catching Patton as he fell to the ground screaming before Roman had even said anything. The look on his face must have been enough. And calling Virgil, having to tell him what had happened…

Roman had made the decision to tell him immediately. It wasn't fair, he thought, to tell him to come to the hospital and not tell him why. He would know, but he wouldn't know. And the fact that Virgil had immediately begun to demand to know what happened, Roman, tell me, just tell me made Roman know he had made the right choice. Even if it had wrenched his heart right out of his chest to hear Virgil sobbing over the phone in a public place with nobody to help him.

But thinking that Patton might have killed himself was worse. So much worse.

After it had become clear that Patton wasn't going to die, and the appointment had been made with Dr. Picani, Roman had left Virgil and Patton curled up in his bed with Logan watching over them. He had collapsed onto the couch, buried his face in a pillow, and screamed. When he had screamed himself hoarse, not letting a single sound escape from the cushion he used to muffle his voice, he had burst into tears. I almost lost him, he thought, and he couldn't stop crying. I failed you, Mom. And I failed Patton.

He needed his notebook. He needed to write, to do something to relieve the pain and pressure inside of him. Is this what Patton felt when he cut? But he didn't have a story to write to make it go away, so he had to cut himself to let it out. He needed his notebook.

“Roman?”

Roman flinched and tossed the pillow away, wiping his eyes quickly. “What's wrong, Lo, are they okay? What's--" He broke off.

Logan was holding out the leather bound notebook that Roman was sure had been put away safely in his drawer. “Nothing is wrong. They're both sound asleep, I made sure. I thought you might need this.”

“Where did you even...how…” Roman stood up and snatched his book away from his little brother, looking at him suspiciously. “You didn't read it, did you?”

“Of course not. But I'd like to.” Logan was unphased by Roman’s glare. “I know you've been writing again, ever since she died. I know how you get when you’re working on a project, and all the signs were there. Is it a novel or a play, or just poetry?”

“...novel,” Roman muttered. “How did you even know where to find this?”

“Roman, I helped you put that desk together. It's not a secret drawer if you already know it's there,” Logan informed him. “So, can I read it?”

“It's not finished yet.” Why didn't I just say no? Roman wondered despondently.

“I know. I'm a very good editor.”

Roman raised his eyebrows. “Oh, is that it? You just want more of an excuse to criticize my grammar?”

“I don't need an excuse. But no, I just want to read it. I'm curious about what you're writing, what it is that could help you at a time like this.”

“What?”

“Well,” Logan said, “you write when you are upset. You turn the pain of reality into artwork. That's fascinating. And I like your writing. I think it's clever.”

High praise from the clever one. “Thank you, I suppose.”

“Can I read it?” Logan pressed.

“It's not something I'm sure I want to share,” Roman said.

“I won't tell Virgil or Patton anything, I promise.”

“I don't know if I'm comfortable sharing it with you, either,” Roman clarified.

“Why not?”

“Because…” Roman searched for an answer that Logan would accept. “Just because.” Well, that's not gonna go over well.

“Hm. Try again,” Logan said.

He sounds like Mom, Roman realized, and almost snorted. “You won’t like reading it.”

“Why not?” Logan asked again.

Roman groaned. “Because it’s stupid, Logan. It’s a dumb book and I haven’t edited it at all and it’s...it’s just been the only thing keeping me sane, so quality isn’t really what I’m going for. You understand?”

“Like I said, I’m a great editor.”

Maybe...no. No. “No, Logan. I’m sorry, I’m not ready to share it yet. Or ever, probably. Thanks for bringing me the notebook, now go back to my room. I don’t want them left alone,” Roman said. “And I have to call my boss.”

“Fine,” Logan said resignedly. He handed Roman a pen. “Tell me if you change your mind.” He turned and went back down the hallway to the bedroom where Virgil and Patton slept.

Roman looked down at the notebook and pen in his hands. He was itching to spill more words out onto the paper, but he really did have to call his boss. So he did, and he explained to her that there had been an emergency at home and he might have to rearrange his schedule. To his relief, she had been very understanding.

After he had hung up, he opened the notebook and turned to the page where the ribbon bookmark lay. The left-hand page was covered with his neat, scrawling handwriting that switched seamlessly between print and cursive every few sentences depending on how fast he had been writing. And the right-hand page was blank. The grey lines invited him to un-cap the pen and to press the tip to the page. He began to write.

On Monday night, when Patton had moved to Virgil’s room, Roman found himself alternating between sitting at his desk writing feverishly and, about once an hour, rushing to where the twins slept to check on them. Each time, he feared that Patton would be gone. But he always found both of them in the same spot, fast asleep with Virgil’s arms tucked protectively around his twin. Although he knew he was being paranoid, Roman would put his hand on Patton’s chest carefully to make sure he was still breathing.

He would go check on Logan afterwards. The youngest had fallen asleep with a textbook on his pillow and his head resting next to it. He held it like it was a stuffed animal, and Roman covered his mouth, snickering quietly. The kid was such a nerd. Roman loved him so much.

And then he would go back to his room and write for another hour, then spring to his feet and head back down the hallway to Virgil’s room. This continued until almost 4 a.m. when he finally sank down onto his bed and turned his light off.

He did the same thing every night that week. On Thursday night, after they had a small and pretty pathetic Thanksgiving meal of pizza and Sprite (only the Sprite for Virgil, who was still worried that his stomach wouldn’t be able to handle much more), Roman filled the notebook. He opened up his laptop and began to type. He changed a few words here and there but mostly, it was exactly what he had written in the notebooks. The hours ticked by and he checked on the twins a few times. They seemed fine, and Virgil hadn’t gotten sick again.

It was after 3 a.m. when there was a tiny knock at his door. Roman leapt from his chair and opened it, worried that it would be Virgil feeling ill again. But it was just Logan. “What’s up, Lo?” Roman whispered, not wanting to wake the twins across the hall.

“Can I come sit in here?” Logan asked.

“Of course.” Roman let him come into the room and watched him sit down on the bed. “Why are you awake?” he asked, closing the door quietly.

“Why are you awake?” Logan shot back.

“Fair enough.” Roman sat down in his desk chair and rubbed his eyes. “I’ve been writing.”

“Every night until about 3:45, I know.”

Roman narrowed his eyes. “And how do you know that?” he asked.

Logan sighed. “‘Cause 3:30 is the last time you come and check on me. You can stop doing that, by the way, I’m not going anywhere.”

Roman sputtered, “Wh--you--I didn’t mean to wake you up!”

“Oh, I’m almost never asleep when you come in.”

“You, uh, do a pretty great job at pretending,” Roman stated, taken aback.

Nodding, Logan said, “I know. I turn my lights off when I hear you go into Virgil’s room and regulate my breathing.”

“...Why?” Roman demanded. “Why would you pretend to be asleep? And why aren’t you asleep, for that matter?”

“I pretended because I didn’t want to worry you, and I’m not asleep because I’d rather be reading. Is that sufficient explanation?” Logan asked.

“Uh-uh, specs, you don’t get to do that. You're thirteen, you need sleep!” scolded Roman.

“And you’re only twenty-one,” Logan countered. “You still effectively need as much sleep as a teenager because your brain still hasn’t fully developed its frontal lobe yet.” He crossed his arms, his face saying I could do this all night.

Frustrated, Roman threw one of his hands up into the air. “Fine! Both of us should be asleep. And we aren’t. So where does that leave us?”

Logan glanced around. “...In your room?”

“Not what I--oh, dear.” Roman frowned suddenly. “Wait, why are you in my room? You wanted to come sit in here, is everything alright?”

“Um…”

The hesitation was enough. Roman left his chair and sat down on the bed next to his little brother. “What’s up?” he asked gently.

Logan sighed, and it was too old of a sound to be coming from a teenager who wasn’t quite 14 yet. “I have to tell you something.”

Heart beating faster, Roman was imagining all of the possible things Logan would need to tell him. “Okay,” he said. “Hit me with it, Lo.”

“I haven’t just been at the library.”

WHAT--

“What?” Roman said calmly.

“When I said I was going to the library, I wasn’t always at the library,” Logan restated.

“Then...where have you been?” asked Roman.

Logan took a deep breath. “I’ve been taking classes at the community college.”

“Oh,” Roman said. He’s been doing what now????? AND HE LIED TO ME ABOUT WHERE HE WAS, THAT IS SO NOT SAFE-- “Why didn��t you tell me?”

“I am telling you.”

“Okay, how long has this been going on? And how did you get there?” Roman demanded. “What classes are you taking? How are you paying for them? And how the hell do you have time to do all the work for college classes as well as high school classes? You’re already a freshman with three honors and one AP class, don’t you understand how much of a workload that is?”

“Slow down,” Logan pleaded. “Okay--I’ve been taking classes since August. I take the bus from the library to the college. And Mom paid for them.”

“She…” Roman couldn’t breathe for a second. “Mom knew?” he choked out.

“She encouraged me to take them,” Logan mumbled. “I’m taking astronomy and organic chemistry. She saw the course listings online and suggested them when I told her that the high school classes were boring.”

“So she…” Roman was having a hard time speaking through the sudden lump in his throat. His eyes were misting over. “She wanted you to do this?”

“Uh-huh,” Logan said, nodding. “And I was...I was going to drop out, after she died, because I thought...I thought I might not be able to handle it.” That was clearly difficult for him to admit.

“But you didn’t,” Roman murmured.

“No, I didn’t. Actually, it’s been…” Logan hesitated. “It’s helped. I’m working towards something, and I don’t have time to just stay sad. I think it’s been good for me.”

“Okay, well…I’m so glad that you know yourself well enough to know that. But Logan, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” wondered Roman. “You could have, really. Even before Mom died, you could have told me. Do Virgil and Patton know?”

“No, they don’t know anything about it. It was Mom and my secret.” Logan glanced away.

Roman understood. Having something that was only between him and their mother must have been a lifeline for Logan to cling to. And as he realized that, Roman was confused. “So why tell me now?”

“I’ve wanted to tell you since Mom died,” Logan confessed. “And I know I should have. But I wasn't ready, not yet. I was going to before the semester was over, I promise. But the reason I’m telling you now is because there’s an astronomy overnight next week and obviously, I couldn’t go without you knowing. Even if I snuck out, you’d know, because you insist on checking on me every single hour.”

“Okay, the fact that you had even considered sneaking out as a valid enough option to know the problems with it worries me,” admonished Roman. “But I’ll let that slide this once. Yeah, alright. What day is this overnight, and where is it? Also I’m still debating whether or not I even want you leaving my sight.”

“It’s from Tuesday to Wednesday, on campus. There’s a small observatory in the eastern wing. And why are you worrying about me?” Logan asked. “I haven’t hurt myself and I don’t pass out from panic attacks.”

“No, but you’re thirteen,” emphasized Roman. “And you’re my baby brother. I’m allowed to worry about you. Fine. I’m driving you, though. And you’re giving me your class schedule.”

“Are you going to tell Patton and Virgil?” Logan asked, a note of apprehension in his voice.

Roman pretended to consider it. “If you don’t tell them about my novel, I won’t tell them about your classes. Deal?”

“I’ll let you drive me if you let me read the book,” Logan counter-offered.

“And you have to tell me about your classes at least once a week. And I’m not talking about ‘how was school’, ‘it was fine’, I mean actually tell me. I want the details on what the professors wear and exactly how dumb the kid who sits in front of you is.”

“Nobody sits in front of me. I always sit in the front row, Roman, you know that,” Logan said, confused.

“Do we have a deal?”

“You’re letting me read the book?”

“If you agree to the terms.”

Logan nodded and held out his hand. “I agree to the terms.”

“Done.” Roman shook his head quickly. “Addendum: you also have to sleep at least seven hours a night.”

“Back at you.”

“Fine.”

“Addendum accepted,” Logan said.

Roman grinned and wrapped his arms around Logan, who squirmed. “Starting now. And you’re staying here, ‘cause otherwise I can’t trust that you won’t just be reading under your covers with a flashlight.”

“I haven’t tried that since I was ten,” Logan muttered.

Ruffling his little brother’s hair and giggling at the resulting offended squawk, Roman added, “Go turn the lights off, and close my computer for me. We’ll have to sleep until ten tomorrow to meet the seven hour minimum.”

Logan flicked off the lightswitch and powered down the laptop before coming back to the bed and curling up on his side underneath the sheet. He pushed the comforter towards Roman, who gladly accepted the extra blanket. “That doesn’t sound disagreeable,” Logan mumbled.

Closing his eyes, Roman answered, “No, it doesn’t, does it? Night, Lo.”

“Goodnight, Roman.”

They’re adorable, I love them so much. Okay ahhhhh, hope you enjoyed! Make sure you’re taking care of yourselves, writing is a perfectly valid and healthy way to cope with your emotions even if Roman is struggling to understand that, and try to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night. Alrighty that’s all I have to say, I love you!

Oh, and if you want more stories by me, check out my new multichapter fic A Snake in the Grass, it’s like, good and stuff. Thank you! <3 ~Martin

General Taglist

@a-lexicon-of-words @am-i-heaven-or-am-i-hell @sassy-in-glasses @iamsilentwolf @theshipqueenarrives @alurea-actually @haikyuupaladin @my-happy-little-bean @faithfulcat111 @iris-sanders-athena @riverblujay @faacethefacts @sushipug43 @decaffeinatedpersonnel @finger-gunsss @wicked-delights @escapingslowly @greeneggsandham1998 @blue-fluffy-dragon @fuzzypurplecloud @anuninspiredpoet @justanotherpurplebutterfly @candiukas @shortandfantastic

Anomalies Taglist

@i-will-physically-fight-you @alextheodd @a-lexicon-of-words @cinderlunarcyborg @justamassivenerd @quietdeerfan @haikyuupaladin @anonymous-at-midnight @toriwithacamera @k9cat @anuninspiredpoet @afilhadehades-blog @logicallyanxious-morallyromantic @akiraaria @drunken-ghost @hanramz-the-fander @callboxkat @blubblubfish @spectacled-renegade @anuninspiredpoet @fillyourteacup @im-a-bin-child @keys117 @brikcsandbones @jadekitten1 @too-queer-for-the-binary @arandomkoalainaustralia @cinnnamonrollpatton @infinityonthot @romanssippycup @kirsten-the-freak @ab-artist @super-magical-wizard @illiani

#anomalies #my writing #sanders sides fic #ts sides fic #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders

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academiceve · 7 years ago

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Dissertation Writing: My Experience, Tips + Tricks

This is a long awaited post that I have procrastinated writing. I would like to start with a dissclaimer that there are two types of students in their final year of college/university who will be writing their dissertations - those who care and those who do not. If you’re reading this post and researching advice for writing a dissertation it means that you care (at least enough to not fail it). I am sharing advice that I have learned last year, as I had 9 months to write my dissertation and ended up doing it pretty well.

Before I begin, I would like you to pay attention to other advice posts on Tumblr that I found useful last year - HERE, HERE and HERE.

1. START EARLY. The summer BEFORE your final year at university is the most crucial reading period for your dissertation. I’m not joking. You will have to read A LOT of research articles, maybe even books, while trying to figure out your topic and then your methodology, etc. so you need to start reading ASAP. I made sure I looked at (at least) 2 research articles every day and once I found something useful, I would archive the necessary articles in RefWorks or Zotero. I also maintained a running Word Doc with links and APA citations for references that I used. You can use extensions like Zotero/RefWorks to make a reference list of all of your readings. They also help you reference authors/texts while writing your sections.

2. DEDICATE A NOTEBOOK. I dedicated a SEPARATE notebook for ALL of my dissertation notes! I would include information learned during the dissertation lectures, meetings with my advisor, research notes, any questions I had and then when I started data collection (because I did an experiment). Yours might be different but it’s a great idea to store all of the necessary information in one place and have access to it whenever you need it.

3. HAVE A SEPARATE FOLDER. In the same fashion, I bought a separate acordion file folder like THIS ONE to store the dissertation handbook, printed research articles, etc. in one place. As long as it is A4 size and doesn’t have annoying handles it will work fine.

4. FIGURE OUT DEADLINES. Pay attention to your dissertation handbook/syllabus (depending on your school) for important deadlines. I liked color coding my lectures and assignments in my planner, so I assigned a color for all tasks/events/assignments/presentations, etc. regarding my dissertation and wrote them down in my planner. I also use a monthly printable calendar, that’s pinned next to my desk, for a monthly overview of important things I need to remember to do. THESE are great, I also used THESE.

5. SET MEETINGS. During the first week of lectures, schedule a meeting with your advisor to discuss your summer research and topic. Your advisor will be the most important person regarding your dissertation work, as they will be able to offer you advise, challenge you to think of better arguments regarding your topic, scold you when you will be procrastinating, praise you for when you will be doing well and most importantly read your drafts. And trust me, you will have a lot of drafts. That first meeting is crucial to start off work well, as your advisor may have more than one student to supervise. You want to make a good + lasting impression.

6. WORK IN SECTIONS. If you’re worried about writing a big + long paper, this will help you out the most. Our professors emphasized working on sections before putting the whole paper together and this tip helped us keep sane. We started working on writing our literature review first, which included all of our references that we collected + read throughout the summer. We then moved onto writing an introduction, followed by methodology. These three sections were the most important for us to pass our research proposal and the course for the fall semester. During the spring semester, we worked on data collection and results, discussion and conclusion sections (in that order). Yes, work in sections is very detailed, but during the spring semester it was nice to know that I have already written half of my dissertation and needed to finish writing it.

7. EDITING, EDITING + MORE EDITING. I have mentioned earlier that writing your dissertation will include of A LOT of drafts. I had at least 30 (I’m not joking). When finishing writing a draft take a break before editing your writing. You will constantly be thinking of ways to improve your paragraphs and arguments, so don’t worry about it not being perfect the first time around. For extra writing help, check out THIS and THIS blog post.

8. PROPOSAL. Don’t worry too much about it, as by now you’re the expert on your topic, so make a strong power point and slay the presentation. I made sure I had a good visual presentation (it was important for my topic), but I had to fit a lot of information in about 7 minutes (and it felt impossible). So I talked very fast and this was the only critique that I received from most of the professors in my department. Proposals are great for receiving comments about your dissertation and any improvements you can make regarding methods, etc. So think of it as a helpful step for you to better your dissertation to receive a good final grade.

9. DATA COLLECTION. If you need to collect and analyze data, make sure you dedicate enough time for it! I needed to have 90 participants in my study and I struggled to collect data, because my campus consisted of only a couple hundred students. I ended up collecting data for a month, so make sure you have that extra time in case you will need it. Same goes for statisical analyses if you need to do them. For stats, a great resource is Laerd Statistics.

10. DEFENSE. This is the most important step regarding your dissertation, so stay consistent for ultimate success. I’m not going to pretend that I was not nervous before my defense, we ALL were, but we could not really change anything about it. We just had to do it and knowing that other students have survived it made me feel better. I also listened to A LOT of Beyonce to calm my nerves beforehand, as I was the first one to present. Safe to say that my presentation was a horror story, because the professors on my judging pannel did not understand my topic, no matter how slowly and clearly I tried to explain everything (yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it)... So I genuinely thought I was DONE. My potential career as a researcher was ruined... However, I still ended up getting one of the highest grades for my year and this was all in the past, so now I feel much better about my first dissertation experience. But I have to admit that on the day I was not happy about it AT ALL. I should also mention that I was given the opportunity to present my research at an academic conference and I did really well there + other professors and professionals understood my topic well, so I did feel confident going into my defense and it ended up being a disaster 😂😂😂

11. IT’S HARD. This is a bonus warning that the whole dissertation writing process is very lonely and stressful. Yes, your peers will be writing their dissertations as well, but we like to internalize the struggles and not care about our friends as much, even if we are all going through the same thing. People will also have different attitudes about writing their dissertations, as I have mentioned in the disclaimer, so stay focused on your work and DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. Think of it as an adventure and a learning experience! I definitely learned a lot about what it is like to write a full research project and present it to other academics and learned that it is something I would like to continue doing in the future.😊 ALSO let’s not ignore how stressful last year was for me personally, so I would recommend scheduling a holiday after your dissertation defense/graduation, so that you have something nice to look forward to!

I hope these tips help some of you out! I wish you ALL THE BEST if you’re writing your dissertation/thesis this year! If I did it, you CAN TOO! Just believe + trust yourself!

If you would like to read more from me, click HERE to see other blog posts! You can also follow my studygram HERE for some inspiration!

#eveincollege #written #advice #dissertation #thesis #dissertation tips #thesis tips #thesis advice #writing advice #final year

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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RiffTrax: A Guide to Christmas and Holiday Episodes

https://ift.tt/3p3xspq

Since its inception, RiffTrax has regularly visited the crazy world of Christmas movies and shorts because when you get down to it, Christmas is a crazy time and Santa’s such a rich concept that it’s easy to go completely off the rails with him. Here’s a look at all the various Christmas-related movies they’ve watched. Luckily, all of them are available on-demand, so you can buy them and download the entire movie with the audio already synced up.

A handful of the shorts were featured in previous editions of RiffTrax Live, but are also available on their own. Then there’s the Christmas Shorts-stravaganza, which not only featured a bunch of Christmas-based short films, but also a film about serving pork and some kind of competitive swimming event. Weird Al was there too! At the show…not…not the swimming event.

Like when I discussed the 30 Most Insane RiffTrax Shorts, I’m going to give both the lucid explanation of what each short or movie is supposed to be in a sane, reasonable world and what we actually get.

You can check out RiffTrax’s collection of Christmas movies and shorts right her.

“Now, come on. Let me show you the rest.” “No, really, I have to go, I…”

NESTOR THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY (1977)

The Idea: Remember how great the Rankin/Bass stop-motion version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was? It was such a classic that people watch every year as a holiday tradition. Expanding on that world, the same company released Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey, figuring they’d spin another classic out of a more religious context. In it, Nestor undergoes some hardships due to the massive size of his ears, but is chosen to help Joseph and the pregnant Mary make it to Bethlehem.

The Output: You remember how Rudolph went, right? He was teased for a bit for being different, but that led to him discovering lovable, memorable characters and getting into fantastic adventures before proving his worth and showing that his so-called deformity was really his greatest strength. Okay, now imagine that exact story, only remove the lovable, memorable characters.

Then take that part of the movie where he’s teased and stretch it so it makes up 95% of the story. Hell, just make the thing completely depressing. There. You have Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.

Movies

MST3K: A Christmas Episodes Guide for Mystery Science Theater 3000

By Gavin Jasper

Movies

The 21 Best Christmas Horror Movies

By Rosie Fletcher and 5 others

This is an earlier RiffTrax release, so the only one on it is Mike. Hearing one riffer can be a little off-putting, but it’s worth it to see such a terrible rewrite of Rudolph without any of the magic. Oh, and spoilers for a 40-year-old holiday special, but Nestor ends up becoming best buddies with the man who killed his mother and it’s never explained because it’s at the very end of the movie. I guess Jesus being born really packed a punch.

“Introducing Chewbacca’s family!” “And many scream-yourself-awake nightmares!”

STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL (1978)

The Idea: In a time when Empire Strikes Back was far from release but the studios wanted to keep Star Wars in the public’s mind so they’ll keep buying their merchandise, it was decided to bring the cast in for a prime-time holiday special in the ’70s. Based on Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca home to his family in time for Wookie Life Day, the special features everyone from Luke to Vader with special guest stars Art Carney and Bea Arthur. It also has an animated short that gives us the very first appearance of Boba Fett!

The Output: Whenever I try to explain the Star Wars Holiday Special to someone who has never seen it or even heard of it, I point out that George Lucas, known for being a pretty greedy guy, refused to make money off of it in any way. He would never release the Holiday Special in any format because he was that disgusted by it. I don’t blame him because if not for Mike, Kevin, and Bill, I wouldn’t have been able to sit through it myself.

Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader Had a Rematch Before A New Hope

By John Saavedra

100 Best Christmas TV Episodes of All Time

By Wesley Mead

Each segment appears to be more horrific than the last. We get huge stretches of time where Chewbacca’s family just kind of meanders around their household, growling at each other, with no subtitles. There are “comedy” and musical bits that are just a slog to sit through. One such bit appears to be Chewbacca’s father Itchy watching virtual reality porn. Not even kidding. Mark Hamill is covered in enough makeup to put the studio in the red from their cosmetics budget, Harrison Ford looks like he’d rather be doing anything else, Carrie Fisher is pretty high, and Bea Arthur sings lyrics over the “Cantina Song.” It’s a glorious Hell.

As the cherry on top, the version they watch has all the 1970s commercials completely intact. One of which features Schneider from One Day at a Time!

“He always has loads of fun.” “Why, here he is in Dallas in 1963!”

A VISIT TO SANTA (1963)

The Idea: A couple of kids send a letter to Santa Claus, asking to visit him at the North Pole before Christmas. Santa decides it’s a good idea and has them picked up and brought over in a magic helicopter. He shows Dick and Ann around his home and talks for a moment about how he spreads yuletide cheer through Thanksgiving parades. Then they ride around on a rocket and look at Santa’s prized train set.

The Output: It’s summed up perfectly when Kevin notes, “Interesting. I didn’t know that David Lynch made a Christmas film.” The whole production is very creepy, reminiscent of Manos: Hands of Fate’s cinematography. With all the many Santas that the RiffTrax guys have seen over the years, this one is probably the least jolly (that is, until A Song for Santa). He comes off as a deranged murder suspect trying to lay low with a disguise. In fact, everything about this short is suspect, like the elves, who are really just little kids in miniskirts.

Movies

Why Chronicles of Narnia’s Santa Claus Celebrates Christmas with Weapons of War

By Juliette Harrisson

Movies

Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

Dick and Ann only have a few lines in the opening and thank God for that. We can understand maybe five percent of anything they have to say.

“Ah, good. Finally, on the silver screen, the be-top-hatted spider-dog of my nightmares. Unless…I’m just having another nightmare.”

CHRISTMAS TOYSHOP (1945)

The Idea: As two kids are put to bed on Christmas Eve, their father tries to set up the tree and all the gifts downstairs. He stumbles around and the ruckus makes them think – in their dreams – that Santa just fell down the chimney. Sharing the same dream, they go downstairs and greet Santa. The little girl asks about where the toys come from and Santa tells the story of a magical toy shop. From here, it becomes a cartoon about living toys having fun when the shop owner is gone.

The Output: The animated sequence is your usual old, black and white cartoon fare. A bunch of toys do stuff for several minutes, including a forgettable musical number, then a plot suddenly happens at the end. Here, it’s an evil spider showing up to try and kidnap a toy of Little Miss Muffet, causing the toy soldiers to come to her rescue.

Movies

20 Christmas Movies for Badasses

By Michael Reed

Movies

The Mystery Picture on the National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation DVD Cover

By Daniel Langrish-Beard

Somehow, the live-action segment is supposed to be a framing device and everything about the cartoon is being related by Santa. Why he’s telling them about a spider kidnapping a toy, I don’t know, but there you go.

This won’t be the last questionable piece of Santa Claus storytelling. We’ll get to that in a bit.

“Wow. I have literally never seen anything as small and of no account as this tree.”

CHRISTMAS RHAPSODY (1947)

The Idea: A lonely, tiny tree sits in the middle of the snowy forest, feeling itself worthless and meaningless. To its surprise, it’s taken in by a family and set up in their cabin. They decorate it for Christmas and give it the meaning it had been wanting for all this time.

The Output: You know, this one is almost decent, at least in concept. The basic Christmas moral buried in there is rather touching. Too bad the short has two things working against it. One, it’s really boring. Two, the tree is such a sad sack and won’t shut up about how much it sucks. It keeps explaining itself as being small and of no account, which will get your eyes rolling after the eighth time it repeats that.

There’s really nothing else to talk about here. Well, maybe the father’s creepy scalp.

“I need you tonight.” “WHOA!”

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER (1948)

The Idea: No, not the Rankin/Bass cartoon we all know and love. This animated short is a completely different adaptation of the Rudolph song, predating the stop-motion special by decades. Rudolph is still made fun of for his nose and Santa needs his help due to a foggy night, but don’t expect to see his elf dentist buddy or the abominable snowman.

The Output: Other than the missing characters (which isn’t a criticism, since this came first and those guys weren’t mentioned in the song), the biggest difference in this telling is Rudolph’s status. The Rankin/Bass version made sense in that Santa had a bunch of reindeer living at the North Pole, so of course Santa would come across Rudolph. Here, Rudolph lives in a reindeer civilization. According to this short, animals live like humans around the globe in different sectors (ie. a rabbit-only town) and the only known human being is Santa Claus.

Doctor Who: revisiting Steven Moffat’s Christmas specials

By Mark Harrison

Movies

17 Movies Secretly About Christmas You Need to Watch

By Mike Cecchini and 4 others

Oh, man. Maybe this is a sequel to Peace on Earth. Pretend you know what I’m talking about.

Another high spot is Rudolph’s mother, who is for some reason shown completely dressed, walking on her hind legs, and having almost human proportions. The riffers all find themselves sexually confused by this.

“Watch this!” “I saw Bam Margera do this on Jackass!”

A CHRISTMAS DREAM (1946)

The Idea: A little girl is happy to receive a few new toys on Christmas. So happy that she discards her older, rattier doll. As she goes to sleep that night, Santa decides to teach her a lesson about the value of one’s belongings by giving her a dream where her old doll comes to life to plead for her attention.

The Output: This is live-action and the doll is depicted with stop-motion animation. To this short’s credit, the animation is incredibly well done, especially for such an old film. It’s also really horrifying and the riffers don’t stop harping on that. The little girl is so excited when any sane person would be in a fear coma.

Movies

The Strange History of the Die Hard Movies

By Ryan Lambie

Doctor Who: revisiting Russell T. Davies’ Christmas specials

By Mark Harrison

Also, Santa can make you dream whatever he wants. I didn’t know that. That’s disturbing and a far bigger threat than getting coal in your stocking. All he needs are elves in the background, playing jump rope.

“One, two…you better not shout… Three, four…you better not cry… Five, six…you better not pout… Seven, eight…I’m telling you why…”

“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!” “Well, Happy Christmas to the one household I visited! The rest of the planet can ram it for all I care!”

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1946)

The Idea: We all know the famous poem A Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clarke Moore. This is another adaptation of it, though without the bickering cartoon mice. Rather, we see Santa as he visits a home, delivers gifts, and flies off into the night.

The Output: This is one of the most reasonable of all the entries here because there isn’t much you can do to screw up that classic. The only questionable stuff is how rather than have any kind of special effects budget, shots of Santa flying off on his sleigh are done through animation and go back to live-action in close-ups. Otherwise, it’s fairly forgettable amongst the other freaky shorts and movies they watch.

Still, it is a dick move of Santa to give one kid a tiny toy shovel for Christmas. Who the hell would want that?

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in 150-plus movies, RiffTrax has nothing to say.” “Just this…enjoy.”

SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972)

The Idea: Santa is stranded in the sands of Florida. His sleigh is partially buried in the sand and his reindeer have abandoned him. He calls over a group of children to help him get the sleigh out of the ground, but to no avail. Santa insists that they don’t give up and relates their situation to the story of Thumbelina (or Jack and the Beanstalk). Luckily, the kids know one magical creature who just might be able to help Santa and make sure Christmas is saved.

The Output: God, where do I even start with this? It’s hard to sit through, but this is one of the most must-see riffs.

The Ice Cream Bunny is practically a mascot for RiffTrax (sorry, Disembaudio). It’s bad in every way. It’s an inconceivable mess. The Santa parts are embarrassing to watch and make you feel really uneasy in its disturbing, low-rent cheesiness. Then you’re rescued from it thanks to Santa telling the story of Thumbelina. By that I mean that they play a completely separate movie with a higher budget that has absolutely nothing to do with the Santa situation. This “flashback” is 50 minutes long and the entire movie is an hour and a half, so yeah. The Thumbelina stuff is also creepy to watch, if not boring at times, but it’s worth powering through.

Movies

A Complete History of RiffTrax Live

By Gavin Jasper

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The Rod Serling Christmas Movie You Never Saw

By Chris Farnell

Once we return to Santa, we’re finally introduced to the Ice Cream Bunny. Words cannot do this justice. It’s a guy in a terrible rabbit suit driving a fire truck filled with kids when the guy most certainly can’t see what he’s doing and almost runs over a dog. There’s this really unsavory feeling watching what’s supposed to be a delightful movie for children and Bill kills it by adding a horrifying, demented laugh whenever the Ice Cream Bunny is on screen.

RiffTrax has two different versions of the movie. One is the classic VOD released in 2010, where the movie takes a lengthy break to show us the stuff with Thumbelina. In 2015, they did a RiffTrax Live edition with a different print of the movie. In it, the Thumbelina stuff was replaced with Jack and the Beanstalk. Comparing the two is a no-brainer as Jack and the Beanstalk is far more entertaining on its own and is 70s as hell. Plus the RiffTrax Live version includes several bonkers shorts beforehand.

“The sequel to The Ice Cream Bunny’s Amos and Andy!”

SANTA CLAUS’ PUNCH AND JUDY (1948)

The Idea: Santa visits a large group of children (orphans?) and delivers their presents, but one of them asks for a Punch and Judy puppet show. Santa uses his magic to summon such a performance to the delight of the children.

The Output: Have you ever watched a Punch and Judy show? Yeah, nobody goes out of their way to see one. There’s nothing all that wrong with the kids, Santa, or the setup in this short. The focus is just on what I imagine to be a skilled exhibition of puppeteering that hasn’t aged well. Just a puppet beating his girlfriend with a stick, as well as various animals, and we get a break where two minstrel show puppets have a boxing match. So yeah, fun for children.

“He’s like some horrible Soviet Bloc animated version of Santa.” “His nose looks like an infected thumb!”

THE SHANTY WHERE SANTY CLAUS LIVES (1933)

The Idea: A poor little boy live alone and in the cold, doomed to freeze on Christmas Eve. Luckily, he’s discovered by Santa, who takes him away to his own home, where the kid sees all sorts of wonders.

The Output: First thing’s first, the Santa Claus in this movie is rather horrific, one of the scariest of all the Santas in all of these movies, which is impressive for a cartoon. Despite being the title character, he only gets about a minute of screen time anyway. The rest is either the kid being depressed and cold or the kid watching yet another old-timey cartoon scenario where the toys just kind of do stuff and sing for several minutes until something resembling a plot happens at the end. In this case, the tree accidentally catches on fire and the boy has to help put it out.

The most striking thing about this short is the never-ending parade of racism. Lot of uncomfortable toys lounging in the shanty where Santy Claus lives.

“Ooooooh, I’m full grown, all right!” “Kids, if you ever hear someone say that in that voice, call the cops.”

MAGIC CHRISTMAS TREE (1964)

The Idea: A child befriends a witch around Halloween and is given a seed that will eventually sprout a magical Christmas tree. Not only does it talk, but it will also grant him three wishes! Unfortunately, the power goes to the boy’s head and his poor decisions put Christmas in some serious danger.

The Output: While it may not be the absolute best RiffTrax, it’s the best kind of bad movie for them to tackle. The movie is incredibly strange, but it gradually builds on it. In the beginning, it’s almost straightforward, but it gets more and more questionable as the minutes pass. For instance, there’s a scene where the main character’s family leaves to go Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. The boy makes a wish to have ultimate power for a limited time (why a limited time? I don’t know) and uses his power to make it day and then goes around messing with people who are doing their usual daily routines, not at all aware that it’s supposed to be the night before Christmas.

Movies

The Best Alternative Christmas movies

By Mark Harrison

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Disney+ Christmas Movies for Kids: The Best Family Films to Watch this Holiday Season

By Alana Joli Abbott

By the end, we have a greed-loving giant living in the mountains showing up out of nowhere. What Christmas movie isn’t complete without a greed-loving giant living in the mountains showing up out of nowhere?

“And in the second place, ice cream break was over more than an hour ago!” “Ah, kids love it when furries have labor disputes.”

SANTA’S ENCHANTED VILLAGE (1964)

The Idea: As a sequel/extension of the Mexican Santa Claus movie (more on that later), we see a village where Santa’s various helpers get toys ready for the holiday season. Unfortunately, Stinky the Skunk would rather take extremely long breaks, much to the chagrin of his supervisor, the Ferocious Wolf.

The Output: By “sequel” I mainly mean that the guy who made this had the rights to the Santa Claus movie and would occasionally toss in clips from it. The original footage in this short (and the two that follow) are incredibly low-rent, mainly in the form of the mascot costume characters and their terrible voices. Most notable is how the Ferocious Wolf is accompanied by loud, obnoxious accordion noises whenever he walks around. Which is a lot.

Movies

The Best Christmas Movie Soundtracks of All Time

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The Best Christmas Movies Available on Netflix

By Alec Bojalad

One of the true highlights is when the Ferocious Wolf visits Santa’s office and rants about how Stinky the Skunk is such a bad employee. Santa’s reaction is to just sit there the entire time, nodding and laughing his ass off like a lunatic. Which reminds me, the Ferocious Wolf complaining about his ulcer is – I kid you not – his catchphrase.

“Hey! Right here at this moment, this officially became the craziest thing ever made by man.” “Seriously, Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas.”

SANTA CLAUS AND HIS HELPERS (1964)

The Idea: The Ferocious Wolf, Stinky the Skunk, and Puss’n Boots get in a big argument and Santa is none too pleased. Watching from space along with his good friend Merlin, Santa decides to go give his angry employees a visit and set them straight.

The Output: This installment of the Santa’s Village of Madness Trilogy is easily the least coherent. Seeing the costumed characters is complete bedlam and even the riffers give up in awe of the chaos. Not only is half of the footage of this short taken directly from Santa Claus, but a couple minutes are taken from Santa’s Enchanted Village! But hey, no angry accordion music this time, so that’s something.

“Whoa! He’s got a face like a squid’s anus!”

SANTA’S MAGIC KINGDOM (1966)

The Idea: Puss’n Boots is the head of security in Santa’s Village and he confronts a visitor. It turns out to be a princess on the run from a giant ogre that’s out to destroy Santa Claus and end Christmas! Puss needs to gather an army together to face this beast and save Christmas.

The Output: So this giant ogre? They never actually show him. Well, except for a shot of a lame dinosaur statue that we see for a second. I don’t know if that’s actually supposed to be the ogre. Whatever. Otherwise, the narrative is just another fever dream filmed with the tiniest budget. Merlin ends up being the one to challenge the big monster and what a fight it is! I think. They never actually show any of it. We just hear them off-screen while everyone else reacts. The elves couldn’t even do that right.

“Ladies and gentlemen, a third-string ballerina on painkillers.”

SANTA CLAUS AND THE FAIRY SNOW QUEEN (1951)

The Idea: A six-inch tall woman called the Snow Queen visits Santa on Christmas Eve, but is annoyed to see him sleeping in her presence. As a joke, she gives life to a handful of nearby toys. The various toys dance and laugh, but are reluctant to be given off to children as lifeless gifts. Not only have they taken to being alive, but they’ve also grown attached to each other. Whatever will Santa and the Snow Queen do?

The Output: This whole thing is incomprehensible and it doesn’t help that the Snow Queen has a really thick European accent that you can barely cut through. The real star of this short is the Candy Lion. See, while you have understandable, recognizable toys hanging around like a toy soldier, a ballerina, a ragdoll, a Jack-in-the-box, and so on, you also have the Candy Lion. Described as a half-mummified Chewbacca, the dead-eyed toy stands around in the background for the most part and gets one memorable line when he excitedly brags to Santa, “I can eat candy!”

13 Craziest Interpretations of Santa Claus to Ever Slide Down a Chimney

By Daniel Kurland

Culture

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By Tony Sokol

The Jack-in-the-box is easily one of the more annoying characters in RiffTrax history, though. Goddamn that repeating freak. This is all hosted by Snoopy, a high-pitched “brownie” (which appears to be no different than an elf) who I’m not sure if I’m repulsed by or attracted to.

“My finger isn’t tired!” “Oh, God! What is he about to do?!”

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)

The Idea: On Mars, children have become joyless and robotic due to the planet’s lack of fun and insistence on constant studying and good behavior. The only thing that brings them any happiness is watching Earth programs, such as news on this Santa Claus character. Afraid for the future of his planet, Kimar and his crew visit Earth to kidnap Santa (and eventually two children) and bring him to Mars so that he can spread joy to their world…whether he wants to or not!

The Output: While this movie may be on the IMDB bottom 100, I consider it a guilty pleasure. As I discussed when speaking with Kevin Murphy, I think at its core, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a great concept for a children’s movie. It has its own unique whimsy. Unfortunately, it’s hurt by bad, hammy acting and the kind of bad costuming and effects you’d expect from a movie like this.

Movies

10 remarkable things: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

By Ryan Lambie

The Best Christmas Movies Available on Amazon Prime

By Alec Bojalad

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is the only RiffTrax movie to also be featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, Cinematic Titanic (the offshoot where the other MST3K cast members went off to), and RiffTrax, all with their own unique set of jokes. There’s a good reason for that. The movie is incredibly silly and ripe for mockery, yet at the same time completely and utterly watchable. The RiffTrax version features the movie in its entirety, rather than the abridged version from MST3K.

“Don’t you wish that your school bus looked like this?!” “Packed with bearded lunatics and flanked by grim clowns? No!”

FUN IN BALLOON LAND (1965)

The Idea: A little boy goes to sleep and dreams of a world of giant balloon people and other children to play with. After getting into a variety of adventures, he and a little girl watch a holiday parade filled with all sorts of balloon floats.

The Output: This 1960s nightmare is the perfect B-side to Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. The first third of it is complete and utter nonsense. This little boy would just wander around a warehouse, stumble upon some kind of big balloon statue, someone would voice said statue by shouting from across the room off-screen, and then it would move on to a completely unrelated scene. There is a group of ballerinas who show up to dance for absolutely no reason. At one point the boy is inexplicably walking around in only a gold lamé diaper and Kevin wonders, “Is this movie even legal?” The boy proceeds to hit on mermaids and plays hide-and-seek with a lobster thing.

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The Best Christmas Movies Available on Hulu

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Then it becomes old footage of a holiday parade that lasts about a half hour and has more clowns and majorettes than I have ever seen in one place at one time. It’s pretty dry, but the woman narrating it is completely insane and the RiffTrax crew show absolutely no mercy in painting her as some kind of drunk lunatic. She ends the movie with a “guessing game” where she keeps changing the rules every three seconds and you don’t even know what the hell is going on.

“Still going? If this was a game of Ski Free, the Abominable Snowman would have gobbled them up hours ago.”

ZLATEH THE GOAT (1973)

The Idea: A boy named Aaron reluctantly has to bring his family’s prized goat Zlateh to the butcher in order to sell her. During the journey, the weather takes a horrible turn and Aaron and Zlateh are forced to hide out under a pile of hay for several days. The two form a bond that allows them to survive the ordeal.

The Output: This Hanukkah story is absolutely miserable. Despite being just a short, it feels like it goes on forever and pads itself out with many shots of the kid having to drag the goat through the snow. And you know how I just said that they form a bond that allows Aaron to survive? Yeah, that’s from him drinking milk directly from Zlateh. It’s nasty.

“It’s fun to make things of sugar. And they are good to eat.” “WHAT?!” “Just grab a slice of instant diabetes, kids!”

AT YOUR FINGERTIPS: SUGAR AND SPICE (1970)

The Idea: The At Your Fingertips series is all about arts and crafts using stuff around the house. Here, we see how you can use sugar to create festive Christmas ornaments. Through creativity and hard work, you can make decorating a blast!

The Output: The At Your Fingertips series is all about spending way too much time on ugly and insane crap that really looks far from fun. This Christmas-related one is no different. Things come off as less festive and more gross and unpleasant. And that’s before the children start eating pure sugar. Ugh.

“If she’s already sleeping, we might be able to see her dreams.” “We’re in, children. Let’s get ready to begin our Christmas inception. I won’t lie to you: we might have to shoot our way out.”

SANTA CLAUS (1959)

The Idea: In a Mexican adaptation of the Santa Claus myth, we see the jolly one as he spends the night delivering presents. Some children get extra focus for the movie, including a little boy whose parents don’t seem to have time for him and a poor, little girl who only wants a doll to play with. As Santa tries to make right by them, he’s vexed by Pitch, a devil sent to ruin Christmas for everyone.

The Output: This is another MST3K double-dip, but for good reason. It’s delightfully insane. See, Santa is already a nutty concept, but we get into Drunk History territory here where the people behind the movie don’t quite get it and his mythology gets even stranger in translation.

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By Jim Knipfel

The 12 Best SNL Holiday Sketches

By Chris Longo and 1 other

Did you know Santa is good friends with Merlin the Magician? Did you know that he has a burly blacksmith working for him? Or that Santa lives in space with little children from all around the world doing his bidding? Or that he regularly fights the minions of Satan?

The MST3K version might be better, but it is nice getting to see the full cut of the movie for once.

“Who and what are you?” “I am—“ “Meryl Streep. I am good in everything.”

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1952)

The Idea: The Alastair Sim version of A Christmas Carol, otherwise known as Scrooge, is considered an outright classic. Perhaps the greatest telling of the Charles Dickens story of a hateful rich man realizing his own humanity thanks to being visited by ghosts. Here, we get to see the movie in its abridged form and get through it in minutes.

The Output: Listen, A Christmas Carol has a pretty solidified structure. Scrooge is a dick, his dead friend warns him, he gets led around by three other ghosts, and he comes out of it a better person. Abridging it simply does not work. Basically, Marley introduces him to the Ghost of Christmas Present and that’s enough to make a change. Bridget puts it best: “They edited the Dickens out of the movie!”

Movies

A Christmas Carol: The Best and Worst Adaptations

By Robert Keeling

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By Wesley Mead

This short is part of Have a Mary Jo Christmas and a Bridget New Year, which is done by Mary Jo Pehl and Bridget Nelson instead of the usual riffers. It features some non-riff stuff in-between this and the following short…

“Man, I wish I hadn’t gone commando today…”

THE LITTLE LAMB (1955)

The Idea: During storytime, a group of children ask to hear a story about an animal while one girl wants to hear a story about Jesus. Their mother figures to cover both by telling the story of Jesus’ birth from the point of view of three shepherds. While two of them brave strong winds to save a lost, little lamb, an angel appears to them to tell them about the birth of Christ. They and their curmudgeonly associate go off to find the new king.

The Output: Honestly, this one isn’t all that bad, really. It’s a pretty solid production and the only part that really gets a rise out of Mary Jo and Bridget is when they warm baby Jesus’ body by laying the lamb next to him. It’s not the most memorable little short, but it’s fine for what it is.

Plus I’m always distracted by how much the guy playing Joseph looks like CM Punk. It’s downright uncanny in some shots.

“A real child’s actual tears! I know I’m ready for Christmas!”

I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS (1984)

The idea: Simon is a bullied child whose parents have been kidnapped by African soldiers. Desperate to get them back, he and a friend sneak off from a school field trip and board a plane in hopes to find where Santa Claus lives. Alongside a Christmas Fairy (who looks an awful lot like Simon’s kindly teacher), Santa goes to Africa to rescue the captives. Meanwhile, the children are captured by an ogre.

The Output: Did any of that sound lucid? Because this French film is out there, man. It’s cute, but it also decides that being a kid’s movie means it doesn’t have to be logically coherent. You know, even though there’s an entire plot thread about African warlords kidnapping people. Kids like that stuff, right?

You know that, “I’m the captain now!” part of Captain Phillips? Imagine Tom Hanks replaced with Santa in that scene and you’re just hitting the tip of the iceberg of how bizarre this Christmas film is.

“Monkeys, you know, are very much like human beings in many ways. And sometimes they do the very same things that we do.” “Why, here’s a monkey Black Friday stampede!”

SANTA CLAUS’ STORY (1945)

The Idea: It begins with Twas the Night Before Christmas and ends with the, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus,” speech. In-between, Santa tells two children about how monkeys also celebrate Christmas and have their very own Monkey Santa Claus.

The Output: Monkey Santa Claus. Really.

This short is barely being held together by a narrative. They basically have a bunch of footage of monkeys and chimps doing stuff and since this includes 20 seconds of a chimp wearing a horrifying Santa Claus mask and costume, they decide that there’s a Monkey Christmas and write everything around that.

Somehow, this was the sanest thing shown at the RiffTrax Live for Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny.

“Bricks on his face. Sure! He’s a dragon.” “All dragons have bricks on their face.”

THE TALE OF THE CUSTARD DRAGON (1965)

The Idea: Ogden Nash’s poem for children comes to life. A little girl has a pet dog, cat, mouse, and dragon. The dragon, named Custard, is a bit of a coward and only wants to be let alone. But then on one Christmas Eve, when his friends are attacked by an evil pirate, Custard has to stand up and save their presents.

The Output: The poem is acted out via a handful of kids in little Halloween costumes, including Custard being a dragon with a brick facemask. The short takes place in somebody’s den and aesthetically, the whole thing is a weird mess. Custard also straight-up murders the pirate, which makes sense on the page, but feels a bit off the reservation when we see a child viciously attacking an adult in a lame costume.

“AAAAAHHHH! Hannibal Lecter’s Christmas trees!” “Good God, he’s keeping them alive!”

THE CHRISTMAS TREE (1975)

The Idea: This short tells us the story of three pine trees who are cut down and go through the process of becoming Christmas trees. This means being sold, being decorated, enduring Christmas, and, sadly, being discarded. Shown in live-action, the trees are portrayed by mimes in tree costumes and facepaint.

The Output: It’s cute, but also bewildering. With zero dialogue, we watch these three guys mug at each other while Christmas stuff happens around them. As strange as it is by default, it loses its mind in the final minutes when we see the trees thrown in the garbage as they start to die. Not only do the trees-with-faces die, but we get to see their trees-with-faces ghosts fly up into the sky.

Tree ghosts. Yup.

“GAH! His face looks like a series of horrible wounds!” “That just started healing.” “What are the dots..?!”

SANTA’S CHRISTMAS CIRCUS (1966)

The Idea: Hey, kids! It’s time for Whizzo the Clown! This local TV clown has a special show in store for everyone as he and his audience of kids play around and pretend to be circus performers! Then they check out some motorized Christmas-based decorations before getting ready for the main event: riding a magic carpet and visiting Santa himself!

The Output: This one’s best summed up right after the opening credits end. As Whizzo walks out and mumbles loudly like he’s having an episode, Mike laughingly wonders if they’ve gone too far, knowing that the three of them are about to sit through some rough shit. While Whizzo certainly has energy and some kind of charisma, he’s also the poster boy for why people are frightened of clowns without having to go the easy serial killer route. No, he’s a friendly and jokey clown, but he’s also completely horrifying to look at.

This low-budget affair not only features Whizzo’s catchphrase of, “Now I have that to worry about,” but also the catchphrase of one girl in the audience loudly coughing throughout the hour. It’s incredibly uncomfortable to sit through.

“Yeah… Celebrate the nativity… That’s what daddy likes…”

GIFTS FROM THE AIR (1937)

The Idea: A poor boy wanders through the snow, enduring Christmas Eve without food, family, or toys. He comes across a toy store where a dancing toy soldier annoys the store owner enough to have him thrown out. The boy takes the soldier in to his humble home and his good deed is rewarded as the toy soldier happens to know how to summon Santa Claus himself!

The Output: Dancing toy cartoons with poor kids is nothing new for RiffTrax, but this one is certainly unique enough to be a must-watch. The moment Santa delivers the toys to the little boy, it becomes complete and utter madness. It’s a bunch of bizarre toys who talk like what appears to be 1930s celebrities. Like there’s a goat that sings like Bing Crosby, so even though I know who Bing Crosby is, that doesn’t make the toy goat make any more sense.

Movies

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The highlight is when a Santa Jack-in-the-box pops out and tells another toy something so indistinct that Mike notes, “‘How the hell are you, scramble puss? Smelly Christmas to you,’ is what I heard.”

“Well. This place looks cozy. I LIVE HERE NOW!”

SANTA CLAUS’ WORKSHOP (1930s)

The Idea: Once again, we get to see how Santa Claus performs his duties. From his home in the North Pole to the home of a nice middle-class family, we see Santa get letters from kids, fly on his sleigh, and deliver the presents themselves. We also get a look at the family in question, who celebrate the holidays via singing a lovely rendition of “O Come All Ye Faithful.”

The Output: It’s your usual fare on this one and not too much that sticks out. That’s not to say that it’s meant to be skipped, as Kevin singing “Pretty Woman” over “O Come All Ye Faithful” makes this worth the dollar.

The one part of the short that makes it seem off is the revelation towards the end that Santa doesn’t simply fly across the world to deliver presents in one go, but instead flies back and forth for every single household. I mean, Santa can only carry so many presents in that sack of his, right?

“And so, they started out together, not realizing they were being followed.” “Well, they were easy to track…thanks to a long trail of spunk.” “DAMN IT, KEVIN!” “(Sorry.)”

SPUNKY THE SNOWMAN (1958)

The Idea: When a group of children write a letter to Santa, it’s up to their newly-created snowman Spunky to deliver it to Santa himself. Spunky and the little dog Jeff go on a quest, only to be opposed by a fox, an owl, and a wolf. Each creature wants to steal that letter and bring it to Santa, figuring that they can then steal the gifts. Spunky and Jeff are soon aided by a bear, but can even he keep them safe?

The Output: The guy’s name is Spunky. You know exactly what kind of jokes you’re getting the second you see that title.

Otherwise, it’s an animated story that tries to be whimsical, but is really just nonsense. It takes a bunch of Christmas cliches like magic snowmen, letters to Santa, talking animals, and desire for Christmas trees and badly pastes it all together into a confusing package.

“When you’re not shaking that over our heads to make us work, you can hobble around on it and enjoy your sciatica!” “A zinger from TV’s Frank!”

BEYOND CHRISTMAS (1940)

The idea: Three old rich men feel lonely during Christmas night and one comes up with an idea of throwing wallets with $10 bills out onto the sidewalk and inviting anyone kind enough to return them to enjoy dinner with them. The gambit pays off and leads to a romance between a Texan with a golden voice and a schoolteacher. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes the old men and they have to help the couple out from beyond the grave.

The output: This movie (originally known as Beyond Tomorrow) is actually pretty damn good. It’s a little sluggish in the second half, but it’s original, has some likeable characters, and never really gets too stupid. Even Bridget and Mary Jo find themselves getting invested in what’s going on when they should be telling jokes. With them, it feels more like you’re watching a movie together rather than just watching them rip it apart.

Personally, I think it would make for a better Christmas movie if the first act took place during Thanksgiving and built towards an ending happening during Christmas. Might have made the supernatural and uplifting stuff pop more.

“Seriously, what the Hell is going on with the mitten tree?!”

CHRISTMAS CUSTOMS NEAR AND FAR (1955)

The idea: As some children prepare for a Christmas pageant, one asks their teacher about the origins of the Christmas tree. This leads to her explaining how children from different countries celebrate Christmas in varying ways.

The output: As we all know, different = funny. While some of the customs might be normal, it doesn’t help that most of them are depicted by children dressing up as foreigners while standing in front of a curtain. So it’s a Christmas pageant within a short about the attempt to rehearse a Christmas pageant. Crazy.

Through the short, we get to see a weird kid dancing around in an elf hat, a Christmas tree covered in mittens, and a thing about how kids in China do a big ceremony to celebrate the events of Christ’s birth.

“Whaddya know?! Armed and dangerous!” “None of my quips are funny but some…make very little sense!”

JACK FROST (1997)

The idea: Not to be confused with the Michael Keaton family film from the same time, Jack Frost deals with a serial killer who escapes captivity, only to be seemingly vaporized by a chemical spill. In actuality, he survives as living snow and uses his new form to attempt revenge on the police officer that arrested him in the first place. Even when the officer and his family know what they’re up against, they don’t even know if there’s a way to stop him.

The output: I remember renting this baby back in the late-90s and, hoo boy, it’s a lot worse than I remembered it being. As a horror villain, Jack Frost wants to be like Freddy Krueger or Chucky, where he kills his victims while belting out memorable one-liners. The problem is, everything he says falls flat or is complete nonsense. He constantly stumbles on his own attempts at charisma.

Movies

MST3K: The Landmark Episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000

By Gavin Jasper

Doctor Who: The Weird Anomaly of the 1965 ‘Christmas Special’

By Andrew Blair

Despite taking place in a town in winter that’s supposed to support the existence of snowmen and sledding and the like, it’s obviously taking place in a hot and sunny area with weak attempts to hide it.

It’s still better than the sequel, which was one of those cringeworthy “intentionally bad” gems.

“God… Oh no, have they been hypnotized?” “I…I…I think it might be a cult. They’re quietly chanting to that tree right now.” “…I think the tree might be marrying them.” “This is horrible!”

A CHRISTMAS FANTASY (1962)

The Idea: Two children admire their Christmas tree before falling asleep on the couch. As they dream of trees in the winter, Santa Claus appears to deliver gifts. It’s only just over five minutes, so there isn’t much happening here.

The Output: Despite its short runtime, this one really meanders. The way the kids stare at the tree like they’re about to be murdered by the Blair Witch. The endless shots of trees with no leaves on them.

The money shot of this short is when Santa shows up. Rather than just get a guy to wear a beard and call it a day, they instead have him wear a mask. It seriously looks like Leatherface is pretending to be Santa here and it’s HORRIFYING. As the guys put it, even Krampus is freaked out by this Santa.

“Santa, I wrote you a new song!” “Oh, good! A song! That’ll get me hammered.”

A SONG FOR SANTA

The idea: A trio of lost boys find themselves in a church and sit down to enjoy the warmth and chorus. One child nods off from the music and finds himself in Santa’s domain, where he offers to create a new and original Christmas song to delight Santa and his angels.

The output: The first half is normal enough, despite little of interest happening. Right when the Santa stuff happens, things get weird and creepy. Instead of elves, Santa has little girls dressed as angels and disturbingly leers at them like there’s no good that can come out of whatever’s happening. The boy’s attempt to write Santa a new song goes nowhere, as he just sings him an old song with the justification that, “I didn’t know this song until now, so it must be new to you too.”

This is another one of those oddball shorts or movies where there’s a framing device that’s forgotten about. The boy never wakes up from his dream or anything. It just ends with him hanging out with creepy Santa and his underage harem.

“Spirit…tell me if Tiny Tim will live.” “I see an empty chair in the chimney corner.” “Oh, so he not only lives, he walks?!” “No!” “It’s a Christmas miracle!” “No, no!”

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (1959)

The idea: I explained Christmas Carol earlier. Luckily, we finally have a version that’s the full story and not abridged like what Bridget and Mary Jo watched.

The output: This one’s by Coronet Films, meaning it’s old as hell and feels cheap. To its credit, despite running at just over 20 minutes, it tells the complete story without feeling rushed. It just feels a bit under budget, what with the limited quality in costumes and several sets being some props on a fog-filled sound stage.

Still, it’s A Christmas Carol and you have to go out of your way to do a bad job with that. This one’s still fairly watchable, even if the riffs are well-deserved.

“This isn’t so much A Miracle on 34th Street as it is A Horse Who Took a Dump on 34th Street.”

SANTA’S SUMMER HOUSE (2012)

The idea: A group of travelers get lost in a fog and end up at the doorstep of a kindly couple who allow them to stay in their mansion for a couple days. Little do these visitors realize that their hosts are none other than Santa Claus and his wife! The two try to use their wisdom and magic to improve the lives of these visitors and mend their relationships.

The output: This piece of shit is written and directed by the same guys who gave us A Talking Cat!?! It even takes place in the same house. At least with Talking Cat!?! there were two separate houses used. Here, it’s just the one.

It’s a hell of a lineup of actors. Mrs. Claus starred in RiffTrax target Honor and Glory. The egomaniac scientist guy in this movie is the JCVD knockoff from MST3K’s Future War. Santa himself is played by Robert Mitchum’s son. Even though he isn’t all that overweight and doesn’t have a beard, he’s still identified as looking a lot like Santa.

The movie is just bad dialogue said by bad actors, occasionally broken up by wipe edits featuring Christmas Clip-Art. It never reaches Talking Cat!?! levels of batshit, but it’s still stupid as a pile of rocks.

“They’re buying a brother?!”

CHARLIE’S CHRISTMAS SECRET (1984)

The idea: A young Seth Green plays Charlie, who feels that he’s outgrown Christmas. The commercialism does nothing for him and makes him feel hollow. At first, his instincts are vindicated when he comes across various others – a bitter, old woman, a poor single mother, and a scheming homeless man – but soon he realizes the meaning of Christmas by putting their needs first.

The output: Again, this one is halfway decent. All in all, it tells a really sweet story. It just happens to have a few awkward aspects to it. The whole thing has subtitles and they almost never match what’s actually being said, instead going for the simplest way of conveying whatever thoughts. Like instead of saying, “No thank you, I’m not hungry right now,” it would just say, “No.”

The most questionable part of this special, and something that I’m glad is called out by the riffers, is that Charlie apparently has to buy his own Christmas gifts. Part of the plot is that he has his eye on a stereo and instead of asking Santa for it or having his parents buy it for him, he has to save up the money from his paper route, get the stereo, and then have his mother wrap it and place it under the tree.

What the Hell?

“No. No way. There’s no such thing as Santa Claus. You’re just someone in a Santa suit.” “That’s why YOU never get anything for Christmas!” “Also, ’cause you made Feeders!”

FEEDERS 2: SLAY BELLS (1998)

The Idea: Previously, aliens invaded and feasted on a handful of confused and horrified Earthlings. Now a second UFO has arrived to conquer again, this time with its aliens creeping around and causing havoc through a suburban town. As one family gets ready for Christmas, they gradually come to realize how doomed they truly are.

The Output: RiffTrax was kind of slick on this one. On Halloween of 2019, they put out a riff for an utterly terrible low-budget piece of garbage called Feeders, which is about a bunch of laughable alien puppets invading Earth and killing some of the ugliest people to ever show up on film. Then, just a couple months later, they released a riff on its Christmas-themed sequel.

While I do suggest watching the first one, you won’t be too lost if you don’t. A survivor from the first movie goes about summarizing the first movie’s events in a series of loose framing devices that aren’t directly connected to the rest of the movie. It is pretty funny on its own, though, because a character who died in the first movie and is featured prominently in the flashbacks is played by the very same guy who is the protagonist of this movie.

Movies

The 16 Best Winter Horror Movies

By Daniel Kurland and 3 others

The Twilight Zone Marathon: A History of a Holiday Tradition

By Arlen Schumer

Not only does the climax take place on Christmas Eve, but Santa gets involved! Santa, who for some reason sounds like Homsar from Homestar Runner, is attacked by aliens (who look even worse than in the first movie) and proceeds to be the secret weapon in saving the world. He’s up there with the over-the-top boss character and the silliest-looking dead cat special effect in reasons why you should watch this one.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

“And now I will read you this editorial.” “‘The Rent is Too Damn High!’ by Virginia O’Hanlon”

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS (1974)

The Idea: A young girl, teased by her classmates, wonders about the existence of Santa Claus. Various adults try to assure her of his existence despite admitting that they’ve never actually met him. She ends up writing to the newspaper and asks them. Egged on by an ambitious paperboy, the newspaper’s editor decides to publish his response for everyone to read.

The Output: Imagine watching a Peanuts special that features absolutely none of the Peanuts cast and is at about 75% the quality. That’s what this cartoon is. It’s also very dull, what with them trying to add a narrative to the whole newspaper editorial.

There is some real heart in it, but it doesn’t work as a whole. Probably my favorite part is when the “Yes, Virginia” editorial is read out loud. Despite the simplistic animation, the people’s reactions are emotional. Some kids seem humbled. Some adult couples embrace. Then all of the sudden, the local Irish cop character does a happy jig that probably cost them half the animation budget.

“All of this was in Dickens’ first draft, by the way. Even the goofy music.”

BANKS: THE MONEY MOVERS (1977)

The Idea: Due to his familiarity as a popular literary character, Ebenezer Scrooge (er, Arthur Scrooge?) is used as a window to help people learn about how banks work and why they are a worthwhile place to put your money. As a stand-in for the viewer, Scrooge learns about deposits, withdrawals, interest, loans, and other aspects of the business.

The Output: This is all explained via a version of Christmas Carol where Scrooge is taught a lesson by ghosts for being stingy with his money. Namely that he keeps it in his mattress. As Mike points out, it’s incredibly messed up that Marley is suffering eternal damnation because he never got a Wells Fargo account. I get trying to map your lesson onto a preexisting story, but think it through a little!

Also wild in this is how despite his old-timey appearance, Scrooge exists in modern times and is even seen using a check to buy a motor scooter. It’s completely inane, but at least the guy playing Scrooge seems like he’s having a fun time.

“The birth of Jesus Christ, ladies and gentlemen. That’s what it’s all about.”

ALIAS ST. NICK (1935)

The Idea: As a family of adorable mice get ready for Christmas, a scheming cat decides to get through their defenses by dressing up as Santa Claus, delivering their gifts, and then devouring them. His plan appears to be working extremely well, but there’s one mouse child who doesn’t believe in Santa and is quick to see through his disguise.

The Output: Although the guys don’t bring it up, it’s kind of odd that the kid who spends the whole cartoon being loudly and annoyingly skeptic about the existence of Santa Claus is absolutely 100% vindicated. There isn’t some kind of last-second evidence of Santa or something. It just ends.

Otherwise, this is just your average off-brand Looney Tunes cartoon. Probably the most bizarre moment is when the cat puts together his Santa costume and strips a doll naked to make his beard.

“And now the ancient tradition of giving a present to Tommy Lasorda.”

DECEMBER HOLIDAYS (1982)

The Idea: A narrator explains three of the bigger December holidays: Posadas, Chanukah, and Christmas. Through what appears to be fly on the wall footage, various families celebrate these holidays with their festive traditions. The narrator tries to educate the viewer on the families’ behavior and how it relates to the origins of the holidays.

The Output: I mean, that’s…pretty much it. There’s nothing wacky about this short. It’s pretty dull, but it’s a decent enough target for Mike, Bill, and Kevin. Sometimes you don’t need an Ice Cream Bunny to have a good time.

“When are you planning on going back to Florida?” “I think we’re going to wait until you have your baby. Just want to make sure you’re okay.” “And that you don’t give birth to a CGI vampire baby.”

BABY OF THE BRIDE (1991)

The Idea: A made-for-TV movie starring Rue McClanahan is actually the second in a trilogy about a dysfunctional, all-grown-up family filled with all kinds of interpersonal problems. In the previous movie, Margaret Becker married a much younger man and it took her children some time to adjust. Now things are getting crazy as not only is one of her daughters pregnant, but Margaret is pregnant too! She, her new husband, and her four kids all have to deal with a ton of drama, which all culminates at midnight mass!

The Output: This is another Bridget and Mary Jo installment and the two have a habit of tackling movies that aren’t so much the worst thing ever, but are too corny to ignore. That’s Baby of the Bride, pretty much. It’s very much a watchable movie, but it’s also a movie about Blanche from Golden Girls being pregnant, which is buried among all kinds of different subplots about how dysfunctional her family is. This family collectively gets divorced more than they get their cars’ oil checked.

The whole narrative is about eight months long because of the whole double pregnancy thing, but the climax is during Christmas Eve, so I guess it ultimately counts as a holiday movie. It just takes a long time to get there.

“I think this guy was a boss in Cuphead.”

THE SNOWMAN (1932)

The Idea: Somewhere in the arctic, an Inuit child and his animal friends enjoy their slightly-less-chilly summer by building a snowman. After happily putting it together and throwing snowballs at it, the snowman comes alive and goes on a rampage. Can the child destroy what he created before the malevolent snow beast goes too far?

The Output: This cartoon is all over the place and is one of the absolute best holiday shorts RiffTrax has commented on. So much crazy shit is compressed into this package. Snowman buttcracks? Check. Jimmy Durante impressions? Check. Penguin church? Check. I won’t even spoil how the snowman is defeated other than saying that it’s completely ridiculous and makes zero sense.

Still, it’s better than that Snowman movie with Harry Hole getting all the clues.

The post RiffTrax: A Guide to Christmas and Holiday Episodes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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louiphotography · 4 years ago

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Starting a photography business… how to keep a sane mind.

By no means has this been easy, my current 9 to 5 is with a financial institution that changes processes/procedures almost daily… so it’s saying a lot that getting into photography has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to work through. I want to take a few moments to discuss a few examples of how I structured my plan. By no means do you have to follow this as a guide, it’s simply a few tips I wish I had been given and hopefully you can learn from some of the hiccups I went through! Further below I will dive into each of these further however here’s a quick recap of the topics will cover in this post:

Social media

Organization

Helpful services to leverage

Portfolio

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Let’s first start off with social media. It’s easy to feel that this channel isn’t going to really make a difference in your business including learning, growth, and overall success… but you’d be wrong. Everything I know about photography (outside of “gut feelings”) is from self taught social media. Social media does not hand you the answers, but it gives you great direction to go off and practice until you find that best fit for YOU. Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Facebook, and YouTube are my main go-to’s. Not only does this give you an opportunity to find inspiration whether that be styles/locations but also things that could take you years to figure out… experienced photographers are happy to clue you in on. Often there are going to be demographics that you meet with each source, for example there are some people who just refuse to download TikTok, however you likely could still connect with them via Facebook or Pinterest.

Make sure that when you are first starting out and find a name/brand that you want to build, go through and create an account on each of the above platforms to reserve your name (or close to the name if not available). Whether or not you use each one, you at least want to avoid someone else from utilizing your handle on a social media site- that can get confusing! The other piece of advice I’d give is to get organized. We will discuss this more in the next section, however have a plan for social media usage. This could include ideas that come to you to post, when/how often you want to leverage each account, and tracking what you’ve done on each platform. I’ll provide you examples of what this looks like for me in the next section. To sum this up, leverage social media!

Avoid: setting up social media accounts before you have a set name. I did this before I registered my business, and my original idea ended up not being available through my state. Not fun to go change all emails/accounts and in some cases make new accounts! —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————Next up is organization, and it’s the topic I feel most passionate about. My corporate job has created a monster who loves spreadsheets and honestly it has helped my business immensely. It will be easiest to just bullet point the programs I use, and what I use them for:

Excel spreadsheet tabs

Items to do

Social media ideas

Social media usage tracker

Location wishlist

Shoot ideas

Shot lists

Expense Tracker (taxes)

Folders within external hard drive

Sessions- break down by year, subfolder for client, then within each client folder they have a “edits” subfolder, within that a “social media” subfolder

Social Media- subfolders for created IG posts, IG stories, Pinterest pins, TikTok, marketing, welcome guides, session guides, recap guides

Branding Pack- all the color schemes, logos, fonts that I use for my company brand

Business documents- anything related to registering the business, all emails saved from the state or IRS, receipts subfolder taxes

Purchases- where I keep any items I got from Creative Market (fonts/graphics)

Notes app

Post templates- I keep a note for each type of post I may make during the day, so I don’t have to find my commonly used format/hashtags for each social media platform

Ideas list (for when I’m on the go and can’t update my excel sheet) however I make it a point to update my excel each night before bed

Calendar app (I leverage this to schedule myself weekly tasks). For instance:

Monday- Engagement, check in with people and see how their weekend went, post your weekend in photos and post weekend challenge results

Tuesday- Content creation day for the next week (or more if possible for backup)

Wednesday- Schedule content for the next week (or more if possible)

Thursday- Weekly blog write up

Friday- Photography challenge jar to accomplish over the weekend

Saturday- Shoot as much as you can/focus on photography challenge/work on any extra “to-dos” such as Lightroom practice

Sunday- Shoot as much as you can/focus on photography challenge/work on any extra “to-dos” such as Photoshop practice

Even writing that felt like a lot… and truly it is. Starting a business and getting into the “groove” is NO JOKE. Now image this on top of your regular 9-5, actually having consistent photoshoots, the client management aspect, possibly having a family or spouse, and trying to manage your health both physical and mental. If you have a loved one that is starting a business, GIVE THEM A HUGE and maybe some Starbucks! Again these are not things you HAVE to do when starting your business, these are just items I feel work for me.

Avoid: Having NO organization plan whatsoever or feel as long as you take some notes here and there, it will be sufficient. There is so much information available to us that I would write down pages of information and when I’d review, it was too overwhelming and I would want to quit. Play around with it and see what works best for you!

Now let’s get into the systems/services I use that have really made a difference! Yes I pay for each one of these, it can add up, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

PicTime- Delivering client galleries on a professional platform and provides them high quality products for purchase (1 FREE month code- M275PS)

Honeybook- online service for client management, helps automate tasks for example “as soon as client sends in XYZ document, the system shoots them the contract to sign”. It saves so much time! (20% off)

Lightroom- Photo editing

Photo Mechanic- Photo culling system that helps me go through thousands of photos in a JIFFY prior to Lightroom importing, works in tandem with Lightroom to flag which photos you’d like to edit, and will import directly for you.

Canva- Program to build social media content, I also used this for building all guides for my business.

Creative Market- online marketplace for creatives to sell their graphics/fonts/templates. They also will have weekly freebies that are amazing!

Avoid: signing up for things before you need them. For instance, since I’m starting out and have minimal clients, I haven’t pulled the trigger on customized accounting or even quickbooks. Once I find a consistent client stream, I will certainly do this however I personally feel confident in my tracking/organization for taxes purposes at this time.. I’m not going to pay hundreds for an accountant before I actually need it. As small businesses starting up, money can be tight, I would really do your research on what you need vs. what you think you should do because you saw it on the internet. Again I am not a financial master, this is just my two cents!

Portfolio time! This is something that I was so worried about when starting… if I’m just starting, how am I supposed to get clients?! My honest answer- ASK PEOPLE! Ask your friends, mother, neighbor… anyone you feel comfortable working with! Not only does it give you a chance to practice, but they get free photos (saving hundreds mind you). Now, this also depends on what you want to shoot, but when you are starting you really should shoot anything purely for practice. This also helps you really nail down what you want, you may think couples are fun to shoot, but when practicing you find that families are where you have the most fun. The only way to really know is to shoot- for example I have such a huge passion for travel photography, my favorite photos I’ve taken are from trips. However there is no way to constantly practice traveling… I have a job, oh yea and Covid is a thing! I always have a blast shooting families/couples/individuals so for the time being I am throwing all my effort into creating the best experience/product for those clients. Eventually with practice I can get to that “end game” dream, but no one is above practicing and putting together a solid portfolio to show what you can do.

It will be very hard to get any paying client to trust you enough to book, without examples of what your results look like. If you are going to offer family shoots, I recommend having at least 2-3 full session examples you can showcase to a potential paying client. I also found that creating guides that not only showcase your work, set an expectation for pre & post session, and then having a professional gallery to deliver images is HUGE for the client experience. At the end of the day, there are a ton of photographers, but I want you to focus on how you set yourself apart in the experience you provide (this is what clients will remember and share)!

Avoid: Thinking your first session will be how your pictures will always look! Even if you like them, you will find your photography game will change/grow with each client. Take each session seriously, learn all you can, and try to prepare… but do NOT get dow on yourself if everything doesn’t go 100% perfect, as long as you take steps to avoid it the next session. This has been such a learning experience for me, and continues to be each day. I’m always happy to talk through things if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email or direct message at the below resources. Keep your chin up, it doesn’t get easier, but you will continue to get better!

E: [email protected]

@thelouiphotography

#newphotographybusiness #photographybusiness #newsmallbusiness #photography #photographer #minneapolisphotographer #twincitiesphotography #newphotographer

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mymurderbooks · 5 years ago

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The Killing Joke

Title: The Killing Joke

Author: Alan Moore

Artist: Brian Bolland

Illustrators: Brian Bolland (+ John Higgins for the original version)

Rating: ★★★★★

—

The Killing Joke is a Batman classic. It's a short one-off but one of the most influential - it spun a darker tone for Batman, turned Batgirl into Oracle, gave the Joker more angst and pathos and an origin story. Tim Burton proclaimed this his favourite comic, and thus, it heavily influenced his Batman movies, and I believe this incarnation of Joker inspired Joaquin Phoenix's version of Joker in the most recent movie, although it's altogether a very different thing.

I'm reviewing the recoloured 2008 deluxe edition. This will contain many spoilers as it's a Batman classic, and I'll just share my opinions. Spoilers ensue.

The plot summary is this: the Joker commits terrible violent acts to drive Commissioner Gordon insane, to prove his belief that it only takes one bad day to push a 'normal' person into madness. The text is by Alan Moore and the ending in particular is excellent, though Moore himself doesn't like it, and although this is a must-read Batman comic it isn't my favourite thing by him. Still, this is 5 star worthy even despite the graphic violence against Batgirl, and yes you must read it as it's a key influence in the later Batman oeuvre.

On the recolour vs the original

As far as the recolour goes, I much prefer the Bolland recolour vs the 1988 original coloured by John Higgins. I understand the argument for the more psychedelic/saturated colours in the original, ie. it manifests the Joker's manic mental state to the reader. The 2008 deluxe edition is recoloured the way Bolland originally envisioned, and it's coloured in more natural, muted shades, with the flashbacks clearly demarcated in sepia, with pops of colour. To me this fits better with the story, which is kind of about the Joker's belief ordinariness and inevitability of the ordinary man plunging into insanity when pushed too far.

Both colourings work, but a little differently. In this panel where the Joker sits on this throne above the creepy baby dolls, it looks especially unbalanced in the bright yellow-magenta. You can see your madness in vivid Technicolor. While in the other, I feel it's more that the Joker tells you, You're going mad, and you realise that possibly you are, but your madness looks the same as reality. And if you think of the bright colours of the original as the madness of the Joker manifest, then the recolour perhaps depicts the reality of the story more accurately, where his theory is wrong, and despite his attempts, Commissioner Gordon remains sane.

On the Joker's attack on Barbara Gordon

If you're unaware of it, women in refrigerators is a comic book trope in which women are violently victimised ('fridging') as a plot device to move forward a male character's story. The term was coined by Gail Simone.

Undoubtedly, Barbara Gordon's explicitly sexually violent attack by the Joker to drive Commissioner Gordon insane qualifies as fridging, and it's important to note that Alan Moore himself regrets this. The criticism is that it's unnecessarily sadistic and goes too far, but I think, within the context of the story, it makes sense. The torture inflicted on Commissioner Gordon must be psychological. The Joker inflicts irreparable and lasting harm on someone he loves, this happens to be Barbara, as this takes place after Year One, after he adopts Barbara and after his divorce from his first wife, and she moves away with James Gordon Jr.

The attack on Barbara, to me, feels like it was unplanned by the Joker. She could have been at her yoga class, and that she was home, and answered the door, was extremely bad luck. The violence also isn't out of context for the Joker - he's sadistic. He's insane. He's a criminal and a supervillain. Apart from this - the reality is violent sexual crimes are committed against women in real life, sometimes without motive, as a terrorist tactic to incite fear and induce compliance, and although superhero comics aren't reality, they reflect our world, which can be terrible and misogynistic.

While I don't think the Joker's actions, or the violence, were necessarily sexist in themselves, I think the framing is. No, the Joker doesn't know Barbara Gordon is Batgirl, and his enemy are the Bat clan including Commissioner Gordon, but his insanity theory would probably be better applied to his attack on Barbara who ends up paralysed from the assault as well as knowing her guardian's being tortured by the Joker. However the story occupies itself only with the thoughts of Joker, Commissioner Gordon and Batman, and she merely facilitates the plot. It's not merely some kind of puritanical opposition to violence, but that despite having the most, and permanent, violence inflicted on her, she's effectively a side character. It's also important to note that this was created to be a one shot. That Barbara Gordon was permanently saddled with the consequences of this storyline in later stories is possibly more reflective of the wider culture that constantly rehabilitates and resurrects male characters than it is of this single comic.

On the ending

The joke that the Joker tells obviously parallels Batman and the Joker's relationship. They're both the guys from the asylum, and each thinks himself as the first guy, the one who leaps across and offers a beam (of light) to the other towards freedom: Batman believing he's helping the Joker into reality, the Joker believing that the true salvation is accepting he inevitable madness that comes from human existence - and the one bad day. The joke is, that the second asylum escaped mistrust the first guy's helping hand out of distrust, but the beam of light is no real beam anyway. So to extrapolate this, Batman (or the Joker's) attempts to redeem the other isn't only futile because the other party is resistant, at its very core it's meaningless, a delusion.

Do I think Batman killed the Joker?

Of course, the ending is deliberately ambiguous.

Grant Morrison thinks he did. The case for this could be argued for: the title, coupled with the suggestive position of Batman's hands, the disappearance of laughter in the final panel (drowned out by sirens?), and Batman's realisation that the Joker can't be helped out of madness and death at the hands of the other is the only way they'd break out of their cycle - this possibility is echoed in the beginning.

I don't think Batman killed the Joker. Not because I'm dogmatic about Batman never killing anyone ever, but because Batman has to fulfill Commissioner Gordon's request to bring the Joker in by the book and not validate his worldview. I think the Joker has a desire to drive Batman to the breaking point to finally kill him and end their superhero-villain cycle, a sort of death by cop, and this will ultimately justify his belief in the inescapability of madness.

Do I recommend this? Yes, you must read it to understand the Batman-verse.

...for your bookclub? Yes, it would make interesting discussion on the ending, violence against women in media, the interpretation of the Joker's 'killing joke'. Compare the original and recolour, and how the mood of the comic changes. Classic, 5 stars.

#book blog #book review #dc comics #bBatman #fiction #graphic novel

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kaelajaluagposts-blog · 5 years ago

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Maria Mikaela Angelika G. Jaluag MM26 Film Language

Midterms: Batch ‘81 Vs. Kakabakaba ka ba?

Introduction to Batch ‘81

Batch ‘81 is a film directed by Mike De Leon, a multi-awarding cinematographer, scriptwriter and director. This movie is about how people from fraternities spend their time. The story would surround 7 students who joined Alpha Kappa Omega, and it would show the different challenges and tests that they had to do that would prove their loyalty to the said fraternity.

Synopsis of Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag

Batch ‘81 is a film about 7 students who wanted to join a fraternity, that would assure protection during their time in the university. Sid Lucero along with his friend, Arnie was to join Alpha Kappa Omega. From there, they were tested by their leaders, the so-called “Masters” of the said fraternity. One of the first tests they experienced was to strip naked in front of women, but what they did not know, is that the women’s voices was only an audio recording, just to make it look and feel realistic. But that is not where they end their hazing, they were spanked repeatedly was hurt physically among the exams.

Just when a few of the newbies wanted to give up, Sid was trying to convince them that the pain and humiliation would all be worth it. But when his friend Arnie dropped out, he was annoyed and tried to make him come back, but he did not want to.

Then comes the challenge to test their loyalty and friendship, Arnie was strapped on an electric chair, to punish him for leaving the fraternity, each of the 7 newbies had to electrify him whenever he said a wrong answer. When it was Sid’s turn he did not hesitate to electrify his friend and was the longest to do so without flinching. But when a professor named Santi was about to take a turn, he refused to electrify Arnie and tries to wake him up and take his place. After showing such act the “Masters” were impressed and ordered Arnie to stop the act, there was no electric chair in the first place.

Fast forward to the climax of the film, Arnie was killed by the brother of his girlfriend, Tina, due to refusing to stay away from her. Therefore, Sid requested for back up from his fraternity, which caused a fight to the death among the 2 frats. Even though Alpha Kappa Omega one, they still lost a few members and friends, due to the unfair fight. After the pain they were brought to a clearing with a bonfire to finally signify that they are officially part of the brotherhood. And years later Sid Lucero and his fellow remaining members became the next “Masters” of Alpha Kappa Omega.

Likes and Dislikes

Likes:

Story

What I like about the story of Batch ‘81, Alpha Kappa Omega was how realistic it was. They did not try to sugarcoat the challenges one may experience and see during a hazing for the fraternity you are applying for, though not all fraternities or sororities have hazing, it is something that happens to real life. Due to many deaths, including the most recent one, the death of the University of Santo Thomas law student, Horacio Castillo III, which pushed the government to finally implement the Anti-Hazing law.

Impact

Since, I am more of an impact type of person. If the film impacted me greatly, I cannot think straight, I kept on going back to the movie’s plot, analyzing and making sense of everything that had happened. And in this case, like Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag of Lino Brocka, it impacted me emotionally and mentally, and the movie Batch ‘81 by Mike De Leon is no different. Due to it being a dark and depressing type of film, the plot was heavy enough to not forget. Mike De Leon did an excellent job when it comes to the impact factor of the film.

It was Engaging Enough

I seriously thought that the film would be boring, since the first few parts of the film were full of conversations between Sid Lucero and his friend Arnie. But Mike De Leon proved me wrong when the hazing started, it started growing worse as time passes by. Due to those tests, I was actually cringing because of the pain they were experiencing, or covering my eyes because of what was happening. The suspense interests me and how some of it made me feel anger, irritation, sadness or relief.

Dislikes:

Main Character’s Persistence

Sid Lucero’s character was loyal to the frat, which was both admirable and stupid. To be honest from my point of view I can see why he did not want to leave, he could be so close to the prize and gave up, and he did not want that to happen. But in my opinion, yes he can stay, that is what he wants, fine. But when he was trying to persist in his other members and his friend, Arnie, to stay, I was annoyed. If he can make decisions for himself, why not let others make decisions for themselves. It’s their life, they do what they want with it, what risks they want to take, their limits and until where they can do something.

Unnecessary scenes

Like Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag, there were certain scenes that could be deemed unnecessary or were just fillers. Some of these scenes could be simplified more, to avoid averting the audience's attention to something else, rather than the movie itself.

Story Focus

What I do not like about the plot was how Sid was acting like someone who doesn't care about his friend’s life. But when Arnie’s death came, he was acting as if it was not his fault why Arnie had to stay. And the mere fact that he lied to Arnie’s mom, was another thing. The plot focused on Sid more than others due to his persistence and behavior, but what I would somehow like to see was to have at least some little focus to the other newbies. I cannot even remember the name of some of them. The only names I remember was Sid’s, Arnies’ and Santi’s, the three making some type of impact that led me to remember them.

Cheated Expectations

To be honest I was kind of expecting less, I actually thought that they would never be able to finish their hazing and officially join the brotherhood of the Alpha Kappa Omega fraternity. It kind of surprised me that they would actually graduate from their tests and become the nest “Masters” of the said fraternity. I was kind of expecting that Arnie would die eventually due to the threats of Tina’s brother, but when it was taking too long to occur I thought that, at least, one of the only sane person in the story was alive. Then Mike De Leon proved me wrong again when he killed of Arnie, by letting the opposing fraternity of Tina’s brother drown him to death in an abandoned building on the University grounds.

Deep Dive

The film Batch ‘81 Alpha Kappa Omega, was released in 1981 and just like Lino Brocka’s Maynila sa Kuko ng Liwanag and Insiang, is an Anti-Marcos film or Martial Law film. These types of films are subtle when it comes to representing and making the events and characters similar to what our fellow Filipinos were experiencing during Marcos’ Reign. I guess, since the majority of the people were against Marcos during his time of dictatorship, Mike De Leeon decided to make a film that would represent Martial Law firms, despite being a supporter of Marcos himself. This fact was what surprised me, I mean, why would a supporter of the late President Ferdinand Marcos would make a movie that would contradict his actions? I actually do not know the exact answer to that. But for the events that he portrayed in the scenes of the movie, Batch ‘81 was spot on, how Martial Law tends to treat the Filipinos before.

Just like the films of Lino Brocka, this somehow had the realistic effect, not only because of the truth of what could happen during a hazing, but how it could be applied today. Not only due to the fact that hazing can cause certain deaths to university students, but how it could possibly applied to our current President Rodrigo Duterte’s reign.

With regards to the film theory just like Kakabakaba kaba, is a formalism type of film, not realism, despite the realistic situations that were occuring. So it is clear due to the high and low camera angles, editing and perspectives

Technicals

It is understandable since it is an old film, like all other, the quality is not that good yet. Visuals sometimes are unclear, but clear enough to see what was going on in the film, but due to Batch ‘81’s frequent events during the night or inside the fraternity house, it could become dark and unidentifiable at times. Some of the audio are also hard to understand due to the base of the voices played in the film, but as I said I really cannot blame the movie for being in that kind of quality, due to it being a film in the 1980s.

Introduction to Kakabakaba ka ba

Kakabakaba ka ba?, is a musical, romantic-comedy film based on the social issue of drugs in the Philippines, how the Chinese and Japanese had influenced our country to such purchases. The plot surrounds 4 friends named Johnny, Melanie, Nonong and Nancy, how they were mixed up with a cassette tape that would put their lives in chaos between the Japanese and Chinene drug groups in the Philippines.

Synopsis of Kakabakaba ka ba

The film starts off with a Japanese man named Omota, attempted many times to pass the immigration in the Philippines to deliver drugs, but always fails due to being caught repeatedly. So when he attempted again he disguised the drug as a cassette tape and dropped it to Johnny’s bag, for him to be able to finally pass through the airport gates. As he successfully did so, he followed Johnny continuously and even attempted to break-in, when Johnny was sith Melanie (the stewardess he met on the plane) and their other couple friends, Nonong and Nancy.

After many attempts to get the tape and due to Johnny’s loving relationship to Melanie, Omota and his accomplice, broke into Melanie’s home to hold her hostage in exchange for the cassette tape. Though Melanie, managed to escape the grasp of the Japanese, she was then captured by the Chinese next. After Johnny made gave the ransom to the Chinese, the Japanese interfered which caused the cassette tape to be lost from both of their grasps. After the four friends escaped, they went to a friend to ask, what about the cassette tape, that makes it so special that two drug gangs had to fight for it.

After finding out about the drugs inside of the cassette tape, due to Nancy and Nonong tasting them, while Melanie and Johnny made love, they disguised themselves as priests and nuns, to go to a convent to find out about the Japanese hideout. As they spread out, Johnny and Melanie got captured, while Nancy and Nonong was able to hide in time. While Nonong went to investigate the hidden room where his two friends were taken, Nancy went to the police to report the crime, but was arrested instead with some crazy people in the cell. In order to go in the elevator to the secret room, they had to ring the bell according to tone and sequence. When he was able to go in, he was in the middle of some type of musical performance about the cassette, between the Japanese, Chinese, priests and nuns. Fast forward to the ending after the cops, Nancy brought, reprimanding them for their crime after Johnny defeated Pinoy Master, the couples got married, and thus ending the story of kakabakaba ka ba.

Likes and Dislikes

Likes:

Humor

Actually I did not expect myself to laugh at any of the actions and jokes the characters were performing. But found myself entertained by the antics of the Japanese and Chinese Antagonists, though they were performed by Filipino Actors, Boboy Garovillo as Omoto and Armida Siguion-Reyna. The movie was hilarious, it was not as corny as the humour today, that’s a plus.

Art Concept

I love the art concept of the movie, especially on the last musical scene, the color palette that was used in the lighting provided during Pinoy Master’s performance on stage, the blue and red lighting was pleasing to the eye. It was surprising that they had a concept like that for an old film. It was not as bad as I thought it would be.

Musical Performance

When I heard about kakabakaba ka ba, I was told that it was a comedy musical, and after a few scenes, I thought, what is so musical about this movie? I see nothing. But after a while I began to understand and witness the musical aspect. Especially in the convent and hideout scene, When Mother Superior along with the nuns sang their angelus, I thought it would be one of those musical types of song from the film, the Sound of music, but it is more like a performance from the american movie, Sister Act. As for the theater performance of Pinoy Master, I loved the song, lighting and dancing of the whole group. Those types of performances could be turned into a theater play. Actually if remade, it could be made into a type of broadway for Filipinos.

Quality

For an old film, the quality was great, considering the fact that what we watched was not exactly the restored version of Mike De Leon’s movie, kakabakaba ka ba, it was still worth seeing, despite being such an old movie.

Impact

This film has impacted me because of the humor it presented and due to the social issue they were tackling in the film. Despite being a comedy film, it was low-key introducing the drug problem in our country. It is actually more interesting if the film is something most of the audience can relate to, and of course until today we can agree, that problems regarding drugs is still on going here in our country.

Application to today

To be honest, even though this was meant to be a film about drug trafficking. The issues that were portrayed in the film and can be applied and related to an issue today. It is actually disappointing how it could not be avoided or changed anymore, there would always be a few people who would still manufacture and distribute drugs here in the Philippines.

A much more recent issue regarding drug trade, relates to our current President Rodrigo Duterte’s War on Drug Act and consent to let the Chinese work, live and buy their own properties here, instead of fighting for our country he consented such immigrants in the Philippines. This act of his caused the increase of manufactured and distribution of drugs here. It is actually amazing how a film from the 80s managed to somehow still be applied to the current situation of the Filipinos.

Dislikes:

Confusing Parts

Though I love the film by Mike De Leon, compared to the dark film of Batch ‘81. There were certain parts of the film wherein I felt confused and trying to figure out what happened. Because sometimes there were certain jumps from the film that left me to analyze what had happened.

Deep Dive

Mike De Leon’s film, Kakabakaba ka ba, as what was said before, was about the drug traffic from the 80s, which could also be applied today, with President Rodrigo Duterte’s War on Drug Act. But what most people miss, is that it somehow hints in a certain scene that it is also an Anti-Marcos Film just like Batch ‘81, but much more subtle than it. It could be seen on the scene, wherein Nancy was arrested rather than heard, in the Police department, There was a huge portrait of the late President Ferdinand Marcos, this may represent how the Martial Law works before. When people were speaking ill of Marcos or if they were accused, most were just killed off, or arrested, not giving them the chance to speak their mind. And Nancy’s companions in the cell may represent out fellow Filipinos before who were convicted to madness, some of them has gone crazy to whatever torture or convication was given to them.

On a much more artistic approach, the film just like Batch ‘81 leans toward the film theory of formalism, rather than realism. There was nothing realistic with regards to the events that were happening besides the Social issue that was being portrayed in the movie. But rather than that, the film Kakabakaba ka ba is wildly edited, has perspectives, unrealistic encounters, high and low camera angles and affects people’s emotions positively, due to the humor aspect of the movie.

Technicals

Visuals are clean and it could be a little shaky, but that is to be expected since we do not have good cameras before, not to mention stabilizers. The colors are bright and artistic, which was actually appealing and engaging for the audience to watch and enjoy, unlike Batch ‘81 which was full of gloomy colors, dark and violent plot lines, which fits made the film sp heavy to actually watch. The audio has little base, but it is also clear and can be understood.

Auteur Theory for both films

As what was said to the previous essays from Lino Brocka, the Auteur Theory, in the film of Mike De Leon, is no different from what I thought in the previous essay wherein the theory suggests that the director is the writer, the author of the whole film. He or She represents the quality of the film itself. But I say differently, for a whole film is a team effort. It is not like the director is the cameraman, music director, art director, writer or even the makeup artist, etc. He only directs them to make the film engaging ang pleasing to the eye. In the film Insiang, the actress, Hilda Koronel, did an excellent job portraying Insiang and Ligaya Paraiso in Maynila sa Kuko Liwanag, despite giving her a few scenes.

The director does not define the quality of the film, for example, how I liked Kakabakaba ka ba rather than Batch ‘81, due to it light heartedness, despite having the same director. I agree with how the Auteur theory separates the film from the director, it makes much more sense. I really depends on how the story goes and how the movie was made by the team, not solely on the director himself, because there are good films and bad films, good directors and bad directors.

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