#there had to be a period early on with them all being stationed there
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youngpettyqueen · 2 years ago
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headcanon I have based on nothing but Frank's body language and attitude around Radar specifically whenever Hawkeye is within earshot is that like a week into Radar being stationed at the 4077 Frank said something characteristically out of pocket and nasty and Hawkeye just whirled around and flattened him
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letstrip13 · 3 months ago
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୨୧ - cramps
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summary: your boyfriend comes over to take care of you when you get your period
warnings: none, just enjoy cutesy bf!chris. not proofread!
word count: 819
author's note: day 3 of posting blurbs!! send requests for blurbs or fics!! also over 600 likes on my last blurb is insane, i haven’t gotten that many in so long tysm!! 𖹭
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you're laying on the couch in your apartment's living room, all curled up in the only position that can provide some relief from the pain. your period came this morning and by this evening, the horrible day one cramps had hit.
about ten minutes ago, you had texted your boyfriend, chris, to come over to cuddle and watch a movie. he wasn’t too far so he’d be showing up any minute now.
another few minutes tick by when the door you left unlocked for him comes flying open. chris bursts through the door holding an overflowing grocery bag in each hand as he calls out to you, sounding urgent, “baby?!” you sit up in a panic, worried by the tone of his voice. “i'm in here!”
he rushes into the living room and drops the bags on the coffee table, almost knocking over the scented candle you had burning in the process. a giggle slips out of your lips, the panic quickly replaced by confusion and amusement. “what's all this, my love?”
he looks up at you, an expression so nervous that you just want to run your fingers through his hair and give him a squeeze, but you let him speak.
“i- umm.. it's everything you need for your period. i know it's hard for you sometimes.. so i wanted to make it better.” the confusion courses through your mind again. you hadn't mentioned it when you texted him. “wha- how'd you know?” a soft chuckle escapes him. “you always ask me to come cuddle when you're on it.. and we've been together over a year, princess, i know you.”
“you're so sweet, i don't know what i’d do without you, chris.” his face breaks into his usual charming grin. “wanna see what i got?” he kneels in front of the couch where you're sitting and he places the bags in front of him.
first, he pulls a box of pads and a box of tampons, placing them next to him. “just in case you needed more,” he adds with a sheepish smile, “i hope i got the right ones.” “you did great, baby.” a relieved smile crosses his lips and he continues digging through the bags.
he pulls out a hot water bottle complete with a cute cover, pink with little red strawberries scattered around it. then he follows it up with a bottle of generic painkillers. “the lady at the store says these will be good for your cramps,” he tells you with a proud little smirk.
he takes out a pair of black fresh love sweatpants and the zip-up hoodie to match. “these because i know you forgot to get some last time you were over,” he pauses and digs around in the bottom of the bag and pulls out a pair of purple fuzzy socks with black cats on them, “..and these because i know you love halloween, even if it is a little early.”
you watch him carefully, hanging on to every word he says but you remain silent, words having left you for the time being. he takes a different approach with emptying the second bag, opting to just dump everything out in front of you. out tumbles a pile of your favourite snacks, chocolate, and candy, as well as six bags of honey bbq fritos which chris starts to ramble on about, “i was looking for these for so long. i went to so many different stores and gas stations this week but they were sold out every time. i saw them today and thought might as well buy them all-”
he's interrupted with a choked sob escaping your lips as hot tears roll down your cheeks. the thoughtfulness of your boyfriend's loving gesture gave you such an overwhelming feeling of adoration. but mixed with the heightened emotions as a side effect of your period, you can't help but cry.
chris quickly notices and rushes to pull you into his arms, doing his best to soothe your sobs. “is something wrong? did i buy the wrong thing?” a few slightly louder cries come out of you before you can hold it together enough to speak. “no, it's all perfect. you're-” you manage to gasp out between sobs, “perfect. i love you so much. thank you.”
you can feel a rush of air leave chris at his relief. “oh good. i thought it was about the fritos. they're not all for me, you know.” you laugh, the tears quickly being forgotten as he wipes away the traces of them on your cheeks.
“how about we cuddle and watch a movie?” you nod, getting comfortable on the couch and grabbing a blanket for the both of you to share. “sounds good to me.” you rest your head on his shoulder and pick a movie. he gently tilts your chin up to place a soft kiss on your lips just as the movie begins.
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writingsonsaturn · 5 months ago
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i'll find you - tim bradford
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{ masterlist }
🪐: heyyyyy, please take this fic as an apology for being gone so long, love you pookies <3
word count: 2.06k
content warning: fem!reader, kidnapping, violence, fluff, this is pretty tame but always put your mental health first! (absolutely not proofread)
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
Three days. It had been three days since Tim last saw your face. Three days since his purpose in life had been up and taken from him, as if it wasn't ever really there to begin with. 
His alarm sounded off early with no remorse as the dreaded ringing disrupted his peaceful sleep with you next to him groaning to “please shut that damn thing off.” He had smiled at your unwillingness to succumb to the early morning, and kissed your forehead before promptly getting up and heading for the bathroom. Moments before he left he walked into your shared bedroom, giving you a quick “I love you” and a kiss on your lips even after your protests to morning breath, before heading out the door.
He had gone over the morning in his head as if it were a prayer. He had come home after his shift to immediate alarm bells ringing throughout his head, the handle on the door had been smashed, various items littered the hardwood floor, and splotches of blood smeared across the island counter in the middle of the kitchen. 
His shouts of your name cut through the eerie atmosphere he called home as he was met with a silence that was impossibly loud, and with a frantic hand dialed 911 to report a missing person with the indication of foul play. He made sure to clear the house of any active threat, heart pounding every time he rounded a corner with the fear of seeing your lifeless body sprawled on the floor, he was unsure whether or not to feel relieved.
Just because you weren't dead in the house, doesn't mean you weren't dead period.  
The image alone nearly made his knees buckle and heart give out on spot, he made his way outside to sit on the steps that lead to the beautiful house you two had bought together. His mind was racing with endless outcomes and possibilities, he was unaware of how much time had passed before blue and red lights came into his field of view, loud sirens just barely breaking him out of the rabbit hole he was falling down. 
Grey arrived in his personal vehicle Luna fast on his heels, she had insisted on coming with the moment she heard Tim’s panicked and wobbling voice break through the quiet of their night. The four of you had gone on double dates a decent amount of times, and she’d be damned if Wade forced her to sit and watch while you were missing and Tim was breaking at the seams.
Tim recounted everything up until the moment everyone arrived, every text and moment shared between you two before you essentially went radio silent, the last two hours of Tim’s shift you hadn’t responded to his text asking if he needed to bring takeout home or if you two would make dinner together when he got home. 
A feeling sat low in his gut warning him about your absence, but he ignored it, since he was in the middle of booking an important lead in a narcotics investigation. Guilt was eating his insides alive, yelling and clawing at his soul, damning him for not following through with the churning in his stomach, begging him to notice something before it was too late.
Everyone in the station was working overtime to figure out what exactly happened to you, Lucy and John went to ask people you had visited that day if they had seen you acting out of character while Angela and Nyla worked as the lead detectives in your case, all of them were left baffled and confused as nothing popped up with red flags. 
No ransom note. No intimidating phone calls. No sign of you.
Tim refused to go home, refused just about everything until you were found safe. Lucy even called his sister begging her to knock some sense into her brother before he killed himself. She did the best she could by asking if he could at least sleep in a break room as long as she took his spot and kept him informed the moment she was told anything. He was reluctant but decided that the best way to find you was if he was well rested and in the right state of mind.
He woke up with a grunt, any sort of shut eye he attempted to get was flooded with images of you battered and bruised. Screaming out for him to save you, everytime he got close you were once again ripped out of his reach, his fingertips just grazing your hand before being brutally awoken but the reality that settled over him.
Making his way out of the breakroom he let his fingers roam over the kink in his neck, he looked around to find his sister combing through the only thing she was really allowed to do which was look over surveillance footage that you could have possibly shown up on.  
The two sat there for hours of footage, pleading to whatever was listening to see you or something that could lead him to you. 
Just before they moved on to the next camera Tim noticed an anomaly, a deep blue toyota came into his neighborhood at 9:47pm and left at 10:00pm with no regard for the stop sign lining the exit and a little more rush than when the driver entered. They did their best to follow the car through different intersections and for a split second the car had got on the interstate Tim noticed his back tail light had been kicked out and a bloody hand replaced it.
The heart pumping blood through his body stopped abruptly, his throat closed for a quick second before screaming out “I have her!”
Everyone gathered around, looking at the footage and urgently getting to work to find out who the vehicle belongs to and where to find them. Time felt as if it was moving at the speed of light, Angela announcing that she found the driver and giving his long list of charges. 
Rage and fear coursed through Tim’s veins, his finger played with the metal band that decorated his hand so nicely, pleading with the world to not take you away from him. He had found the second half of his soul, you were his blood, you were his entire being, and if you were stolen away from him he would burn the world to the ground. 
Luckily, the car was relatively new meaning it had a GPS chip attached to the cars system. Four to five cop suvs pulled up to the abandoned warehouse, metro and swat following close behind, it may have seemed excessive but you were one of their own, you brought homemade fresh cookies every friday, and knew everyone’s birthday ensuring everyone had a nice card and cake waiting for them after their shift. You made the station feel right and everything had felt off the moment your bright light was suddenly ripped away.
Cautious and careful swat went in first, sweeping the grounds before the rest came in with their gun raised and fury bleeding out of their eyes. Tim and Lucy cut a corner to the left, opening the three doors that lined the right side; at the last door they entered, disappointment started to drip down Tim’s spine. “Tim, we’ll find her, she got to b-” Lucy cut herself off when her eye caught an uneven side of the wall, narrowing her eyes she walked over and started lightly tapping and jimmying the part of the wall until it finally gave way and she moved it to the side revealing another room.
Tim felt his world pause when he noticed a body laying in view, he took a deep breath and went in through the hole the wall was covering. “Oh my god, baby, hey” Tim’s quick words met your ears, your wrists and ankles were chained together, and a gag was placed between your lips. 
Tears fell down your cheeks at the touch of your lover, Tim took out the gag holding your face between his hands and gently moving your head around to check for any sign of head injury. Lucy was quick to try and take the chains off, hurrying to ask across the radio for bolt cutters which swat was fast at accommodating. The moment the chains were off you wrapped yourself around Tim, tucking your face into his neck while crying for him to take you home.
He held you close against him, giving you soft reassurances that he was going to take you home the moment the doctors said he could, “I'm never leaving you again, you hear me?” Tim whispered into your hair and carried you out into the safety of a police car. Metro called over the radio that your captor was found, and was going to be escorted out to a car.
You visibly tensed at the thought of seeing the man and Tim was quick to shut the door to the shop and calm you down to the best of his ability. “I was so scared” you admitted, keeping a white knuckled grip on his bullet proof vest, “i know, baby, i know” he empathized rocking you two side to side until the evil was gone and he was able to get you into the back of an ambulance, he quietly thanked everyone with a quick nod before the doors of the ambulance were slammed shut.
You had many cuts and bruises littering your arms and legs, only one serious cut that would require stitches but other than that you seem physically okay. Not once did Tim’s hand leave yours, you squeezed his hand like a lifeline, and he watched as you started to calm down, slowly talking you through breathing exercises and assuring you that you’re safe and with him. 
Once the two of you had gotten to the hospital doctor’s were already on standby, and as was Wade. Tim explained to you he would be right outside and that he needed to talk to Wade, you nodded slowly with a glint of panic in your eyes that was quickly eased when Luna appeared to keep you company while the boys talked. She hugged you and made sure you had water and were as comfortable as you could be. 
“The man who took her broke the moment Harper stepped in the room, he said he was looking for a nice house to be able to steal a couple of things to pay of his debts to his drug dealer” Wade paused, “taking a captive was never his plan but he explained she was a witness and he needed to take her because he didn’t want her calling the cops.” he finished with a bit of bewilderment in his tone. Wade continued to explain that you had fought him tooth and nail before he called one of his buddies who provided the chains and helped chain you up.
Tim felt a bubble of pride at how hard you fought your unwelcome guest and never let up even when you were chained, when he had seen you in the light he noticed the irritation on your wrists and ankles indicating your continuous pulling at the restraints. Tim softly thanked Wade before relieving Luna and replacing her in the seat right next to you, Tim could tell you were exhausted and mentally drained. 
Fortunately the nurse had given you a bit of laughing gas to aid the pain of the stitches, by the end of the last thread you were on the verge of passing out. The doctor wanted you to stay overnight to watch out for signs of internal injuries they may have missed, Tim whispered sweet nothings into the air hoping you would fall asleep soon. 
“Tim, can you lay up here with me?” your hoarse voice croaked out, not a beat was missed as he climbed up on the bed and got you as comfortable as possible, “i love you” your voice was just barely over a whisper, “i love you more” Tim concluded pulling you into his chest and playing with your hair the best he could without knotting it any further. 
His love for you would go down in poetry, and worlds would collapse before he ever lost you.   
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remiivu · 10 days ago
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Ghostly Companion-- Chapter 2
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<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
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Thank you everyone for reading! This chapter features mostly soft, domestic fluff as I work out the plot! Next update in ~3 days. Enjoy!
[Ao3 link]
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“Hehehehe!” Is what you awoke to, followed by the heart-stopping blare of cars passing by way too close for comfort.
You jolt, held in place by Mr. Crawling’s firm arms. He laughs again, giving your face a poke. “Not ∎∎∎∎!” He coos rather loudly, and you sigh.
“Yeah, good morning, Mr. Crawling,” you say, despite the sun hardly being up. It’s actually still pretty dark, and as you survey your brand new area, you notice that you’re on a rather steep part of the mountains, adjacent to some dirt roads and the scarce road lights illuminating the area.
“∎∎∎ stops!” Mr. Crawling says, rocking the both of you gently in a soothing back-and-forth motion. Huh, for being dead and rather thin-looking, his lap was actually pretty comfortable. 
You eye the area, trying your best to repeat “∎∎∎?”
Mr. Crawling nods quickly with a smile. “∎∎∎!” He says, pointing at the road.
Oh, road?
But– wait, the road is very obviously continuing off towards somewhere, you muse quietly. Perhaps something more like… the path? If you look from his perspective, the monotonous dirt mounds, roots, and rockers were most definitely cut off by the road.
So, path will probably fit somewhat better.
You nodded, “Mhm, path stops. Go with me.” As you stand up, you groan a bit, stretching stiff limbs held tightly together for an extended period of time. Judging by the sky, he must’ve been dragging the two of you for a good amount of time.
You look right and left, and upon seeing no cars, you hurriedly cross the road, watching with relief as he does the same– in fact, he moves much quicker here, traversing the flat land with glee.
Upon crossing the road, you see the lights and tall buildings of your city, numerous of which you recognize based on the shape, ads, or colors. 
“Oh thank god,” you smiled, looking back once more to check on your ever loyal ghost. Though he most definitely didn’t understand your relief, he seemed to mirror your relaxed and happy demeanor, swaying ever so slightly as he waited patiently for you to continue.
You grinned, then began to carefully trek through the remaining hills and bushes, mostly following the road from a safe distance. After all, you weren’t quite sure whether or not other people could see your new companion, and you’d much rather get back to your tiny apartment without any extra screams or the need to act like Mr. Crawling wasn’t 2 feet behind you. 
Fortunately, Japan is much quieter at dawn than at midnight with most office workers having already gone home after a night of drinking or overtime. The few that remain were early risers much too tired to give their surroundings a second thought or still half drunk and passed out near the station or a random nook in an alley. 
Lucky, lucky, lucky you think to yourself as you made steady progress to your apartment building. Feeling slightly more rested and in a better mood, you allowed Mr. Crawling explore the new setting for a few minutes, laughing at his reaction to window displays or any vending machines you passed by.
You felt far more secure walking around an area you know compared to the mountains.
“∎∎∎∎!” Mr. Crawling says, stopping to inspect a small collection of Gachapon outside a large convenience store.
You let out a small snort, his amusement infectious. You can't remember the last time you were that excited over a capsule machine. Maybe it was elementary school? 
“Want one?” You ask, giving your bag a small shake to confirm that it still had coins in it.
Mr. Crawling brightened even more, “Me can?”
You fish out your coin pouch, digging around for some 100 yen coins. You pull out 2, handing them over to his hand and placing them in his palm.
You grab 2 more coins and demonstrate, picking out one depicting cute foods. You inserted the coins and twisted the lever, watching as a yellow ball rolled out. You picked it up, popping it open, and unfurling the wrap covering your brand new keychain, revealing a piece of cartoony buttered toast.
Mr. Crawling scooted closer, giggling out “cute cute cute!” as he poked and prodded at the small plastic thing.
Without a moment of hesitation, he inserts his coins into the same machine you had picked out, his hand turning the lever making a suspicious creak and clicking that, in your heart, signified something breaking. 
Ah, shit… you thought half-heartedly as he took his yellow capsule, popping it open and tearing off the plastic covering. He let out giggles, staring at his tiny new keychain.
A cute fried piece of mackerel with little x marks over its eyes.
You let out your own laugh, absentmindedly patting his head as he poked and moved his keychain. His head jerks up, grin radiant, as he says “Me like ∎∎∎! Thank you!” 
You felt your heart melt as you gave his head a rougher pat. “Of course. Me happy…uh– me happy you happy.”
Mr. Crawling gushed, lunging up to give you a tight hug that nearly brought you to the ground again. Your far more controlled yelp was cut off by your own laughs paired with his giggles as you combed your fingers through his hair. It wasn’t as neat as before, slightly ruffled up and tangled around small pieces of dirt, leaves, and rocks.
Yikes, he needed a bath. Do ghosts need baths? Well, regardless, you probably weren’t that far off, and the remains of dried blood would probably stop looking like the dried mud you knew other people assumed it was when the sun fully rises. 
And so, the moment was rather brief, interrupted by some cars passing by, but it was more warmth than you’ve ever really experienced since childhood, and you truly cherished it.
“Alright, c’mon,” You grinned, taking a half a step back to indicate you wanted to move. “We go.”
Mr. Crawling, as sweet as can be, followed after, keeping his new keychain as… safe as can be tucked between his razor sharp teeth, the little mackerel swaying against his chin and jaw.
You tried your best not to laugh at the sight.
The journey to your apartment afterwards was as tedious as you recalled, the same streets looking hardly any different despite the fact that you were basically kidnapped into a new world and nearly died quite a few times. And, while the rush of laughter was nice, you could feel the remaining exhaustion built up from the past 24 hours weighing heavier on your shoulders with every few steps, your hour-or-so long nap hardly the rest you actually needed.
But, you can’t deny, having Mr. Crawling by your side was the motivation you needed as you hiked up roads and through narrow roads as you began to walk away from the most busting parts of the city, entering a residential area that was fairly secluded from the main streets. 
Your building was more run down than most, cheap with some decent space for one person and some nice, elderly neighbors (that you really don’t want to traumatize). So, you opened the creaky entrance as quietly as you could, feeling confident that Mr. Crawling wouldn’t make much of a peep of noise until you reached your room.
You were 3 floors up, and you stopped yourself from letting out another huff of laughter at how at-home Mr. Crawling appeared to be on familiar concrete floors and stairs. That was too bad, honestly, as your house had wooden floors and some tatami mats, but a part of your mind, despite knowing how sturdy his limbs were, felt better that he wouldn’t be constantly kneeling and crawling on cold concrete floors like before.
And, really, it would be best for the both of you to leave that place as far behind as possible. In fact, you’d like to convince yourself that everything was a dream, and you simply found a ghost in the mountains like all the ghost stories had warned you about. No blood, no torture room, and no man in red.
All normal. Regular life. No deaths or blood or a creepy face peering at you from every dark crevice. 
You pull out your keys, giving your doorknob a soft rattle as it opens, and you breathe in a lungful of air you didn’t realize you could miss so much.
The air was slightly stale, but it was nothing an hour or so of airing out could fix. 
You walk in, kicking off ruined shoes by the doorway and hesitating for a moment when you see Mr. Crawling’s… attire.
It wasn’t bad. For crawling in a damp mountain, it was actually very clean, but you were still on the edge of letting dirt and grime inside.
But when Mr. Crawling tilts his head, mackerel clicking against his cheek, you felt yourself give in with a small sigh, and nod with a smile that you simply couldn’t help.
You walked in, waving him in, and once settled upon the hardwood floor, you shut the door tight, ensuring everything was locked.
“∎∎∎?” Mr. Crawling asked, mouth free of a charm. It was now back in his hands.
You hummed, giving him a blank look that you knew he knew meant you didn’t understand.
Mr. Crawling, hardly deterred, points at your home. “∎∎∎? You ∎∎∎?”
Hmm… You contemplate, looking at your room. Was he trying to say home?
“Home,” you say patiently in your language, watching as Mr. Crawling had a turn of looking confused. “...H..” He mumbles, and you nod.
“Home,” you pointed all around your home. “Home. Me home.”
Mr. Crawling followed where your finger was pointing rather comedically, head craning backwards and torso twisting around to see everything you were showing him. “You ∎∎∎. You… home?”
Your smile was instantly matched by his as you nodded quickly in affirmation. “Yes! Me home! Me language. Home.”
Mr. Crawling giggles, then crawls further into the house, exploring. You take the time to get settled, placing your bag on the hanger and plugging your nearly dead phone into the nearest outlet. Stretching your tensed, spent muscles, you finally took the time to look at yourself in the mirror and cringed at the sight.
Firstly, your hair was an utter mess, grime and browned blood crusting up in it, on your face, and on a good amount of the rest of your body. Your clothes were frankly ruined, and you’ll have to burn them or something. There’s no way you’ll be able to explain why that much blood from a presumably missing person is all over you.
You give a glance at Mr. Crawling who paused his cabinet-inspection to, in turn, look at you. 
… surely… you contemplate, not even registering the way he’s shuffling a bit under your gaze. Surely I can leave him alone for… 20 minutes? I need to shower at least… scratch the bath. I’ll probably fall asleep if I stay there. 
Mr. Crawling hurriedly began shoving stuff back in, the clacking and banging drawing you out of your thoughts.
“Huh?” You question, eloquently, as Mr. Crawling asks, holding a dustpan, “You mad?”
… Oh? “No, no.” You quickly reassure, crossing the room to bend down a bit and pet his head. “Me happy you happy. You… uh..” You pause, eyes scrunching shut as you begin digging in your mind for a word.
“You… can.” You eventually settle with, feeling assured that he understood when he smiled. You watched for another few seconds as he re-emptied the now-messy floor cabinet, digging out items that you’ve frankly forgotten about, before turning away with a small laugh and walking off to the bathroom.
You pulled out a spare set of clothes, dumping your current ones into a pile, and watched as grime and crust poured into the drain.
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When you step out, feeling refreshed and relaxed, you spotted a mini pile of mess surrounding your brand new roommate who seemed eager, mackerel keychain in mouth, to explore.
You hummed, observing his dirty appearance, before making a decision.
After all, you can’t have someone that dirty resting on a clean, white futon– or even the tatami mats he thankfully hasn’t walked over yet. He needed a bath earnestly. 
“Mr. Crawling,” You say, watching him turn in excitement.
“Hello!” He greeted, crawling towards you.
A brief half-second thought ensures that you truly had no word associated with water, wash, or anything along those lines, so you simply pointed into the bathroom, motioning towards yourself and your clean body.
“Uhm, wash. Bath,” You said, heading inside the still steamy room as you rinsed the tub and began filling it with water.
Mr. Crawling inspected it, peering at the warm water. “You,” you said, pointing inside the filling bathtub, followed by the motion of you washing your hair.
He tilts his head, jaw gently chewing at the keychain in his mouth. Then, when he sunk his arm in, you nodded fervently. “Yes yes,” You encouraged, motioning for him to get in.
When he sinks in, clothes bubbling to the surface, you contemplate asking him to take it off, but…
Yeahh, maybe not. You weren’t ready to see… whatever male ghosts had down there.
You pushed the fabric into the water, letting it soak up water until it sunk on its own and grimaced at the small wave of dirt that rose to the surface.
Yikes.
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Giggles erupted from the bathroom followed by small shouts of laughter periodically for the next 30 minutes as Mr. Crawling enjoyed the bath, splashing water out the tub and nearly melting when you firmly scrubbed his scalp and feet-long locks of hair.
You had drained and refilled the tub about 3 times now, the water finally a consistent clear color, that allowed you to wash and rinse the poor guy with some peace of mind.
“Good good! Happy!” Mr. Crawling cheered as he pushed his head up against your palms and fingers pressed against his head. “Thank you! Thank you!”
You laughed yourself, rinsing out the shampoo by scooping up buckets of water and pouring it over his head. “You really needed this,” you mused, gently layering a thin amount of conditioner onto his hair and letting it sit out on the side of the tub.
You can already see your bank account taking a foreseeable hit once your hair products run out.
Mr. Crawling giggled, taking out his now-warm arms to pet your (thankfully still wet) hair as you briefly scrubbed his legs and arms and attempted to wash his torso through his clothes. They seemed to be thin enough, after all, and it doubles as washing the fabric.
You snorted as hair fell into your face, large damp fingers clumsily pushing them away before you could really react. “You safe!” Mr. Crawling chirped, using his warm hands to cup your face and keep anything else from falling onto your eyes.
You felt your heart skip a beat as your cheeks began to warm themselves up, a soft smile firmly planted on your face. “And you’re very sweet,” you hum good naturedly, finishing up with a last rinse, drain of the tub, and wash down with the nearby showerhead.
You squeezed out as much water as you possibly could from your brand new sentient, crawling mop before helping him out of the tub and onto a towel. You gave him a small warning, motioning him to cover his ears as you plugged in the hairdryer, doing your best to dry him off.
He giggled, pulling his hands off his ears after a few moments and observing the hairdryer, reaching out to touch it a few times. “Cool! Noise ∎∎∎.” He said, watching his hair fly all around the room.
By the end, your arms were sore and your eyelids were heavy with the need to sleep, but he was dry and clean– very, very clean, skin no longer various shades of gray and clothes a step lighter than they used to be.
Before you could stand up and begin your voyage to your bed, he gently tugged you down, pulling you to sit on the towel.
“Huh?” You ask, watching as he fiddled with your hairdryer. He giggled when it roared to life, pointing the heated air at your head and clothes.
Oh… You relaxed, smiling as he tried his best to dry off whatever remaining moisture was in it. It was only slightly damp anyways, the air having done its job, but the tenderness of his fingers trying to run through your scalp and the warmth of not only the hairdryer but also the comfort of returning to some sort of semblance of a normal, soft, and loving life was enough to give rise to brand emotions that surged up from your chest and into your eyes. 
You did your best to choke out anything threatening to escape your throat, but there was no hiding the tears burning in your eyes or the way your body tensed up against the knees pressed against your back. 
Suddenly, the hairdryer shuts off, and a head smelling like your favorite shampoo pops in your vision, followed by “You sad? Hurt? Sad, you sad, me ∎∎∎.”
You sniffled, giving yourself that at least, and shook your head, quickly wiping off any tears. “No. No, me happy. You… nice. You nice… much. Me happy. Thank you.” 
Still, Mr. Crawling looked concerned, giving your body a quick check over and closely inspecting your head to ensure he really didn’t hurt you. When he finds nothing, he leans back, crawling to your side.
“You rest?” He says, and you give a jerky nod.
“Yeah, me… rest. Need rest.” You mutter, standing up and kicking the towels off to the side as well. You could clean that up later.
You lead Mr. Crawling out the room and into the small alcove covered in a tatami mat, opening a cabinet and pulling out 2 futons, unrolling them onto the floor. You then grabbed your pillows, blanket, and hurried to make yourself as comfortable as possible, handing him his set so that he could do the same.
But, instead of setting up his bed like you, he just sat right beside you intently, merely laying down the futon and pressing his pillow against your side.
“What are you doing?” You mumble, voice slightly nasally and eyes a bit puffy. You simply laid down, too tired and half-embarrassed to remain sitting up, but let out a small noise as his body laid on top of yours.
“What are you–”
“You rest,” Mr. Crawling says with a smile, face pressed against your abdomen and his blanket resting against his legs. “You rest. Me ∎∎∎∎ you safe.”
And, honestly, you don’t bother with trying to refute anything anymore. You sighed, letting your overworked muscles relax and gently resting your hand on his head. You were home, you were safe, and you… you weren’t alone. You had someone there with you now. Someone who protected you and could keep you safe in your sleep.
You blink open your eyes briefly when you felt something cold and foreign press into the other hand resting at your side, but upon seeing the small mackerel and toast keychains resting in your palm, you let out a small snort and let your eyes fall shut once again, mumbling a small “goodnight..” as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep almost immediately.
.
.
.
.
“...g…goood…niight…”
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That's all! Gave you guys a bit of a longer chapter (~3.2k words) as an extra thanks! Hope you enjoyed ^^
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<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
[Ao3 link]
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bunnywritesjunk · 1 year ago
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Hiiii love got sent here by a lil birdie that told me you can fulfill my ghost x hybrid bunny reader request here 🥹💀💗
Honestly wanna know how ghost would handle a bratty bunny that’s going through heat, but is too stubborn to go to him about, when seriously he’s alway down to tame that insatiable lil beast inside of heerrr 😋🤞🏽
Thank you so much for writing anything period, seriously. 🐰💗
Hello my fellow bunny. I had a lot of fun writing this. I'll probably do more hybrid reader stuff if people request it. I feel like Ghost would be a bit of a meanie in this situation, he's a brat tamer for sure. I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Heat, helping through heat, unprotected sex, Hybrid!reader, edging, bratty reader.
A helping Hand
Your ears twitched as the sun poured in through the window. You sat up in your cot rubbing the sleep away from your eyes. You sat up, your pajama shirt sticking to your bedding with pools of sweat. You padded off to your bathroom immediately hopping in the shower. Dull cramps in your lower stomach made you groan.
“Oh, not now. Please.” You pleaded with your biology.
You've been taking suppressants for your heat ever since you moved to this base. You gave your body a break and went off suppressants when you were on leave but this time something or someone had triggered your heat. You had a sneaking suspicion as to who it is. Being a weapons mechanic meant you didn't have to be around people very often. As long as a certain someone wasn't here you should be ok. You finished your cold shower and got dressed for the day. You tucked your ears under a cap and hid your tail in your pants. Although there were other hybrids on base, you didn't exactly want to display your rabbit features everywhere. You walked quickly to your station, avoiding any soldiers that might come your way.
You entered the weapons room and got to work. You had a few gun inspections to do. The real work wouldn't come until Ghost and his squadron came back from their mission. They were scheduled to arrive in two days, but you prayed it took them longer than that. Ghost would smell your heat, the embarrassment of having to ask him was too much. You weren't some needy bunny, you can handle your heat alone. After a few inspections were done you wrote up your paperwork for them the be cleaned and handed out for the next mission. Being engrossed in work took your mind off your impending heat.
First, you smelled him. The faint scent of Ghost. No, he wasn't supposed to be back yet. He slammed open the door unceremoniously placing all his weapons on the nearby table. Crap you kept your head down and hoped the smell of gunpowder covered your heat.
“Miss me, bunny?” You could practically hear the smirk in his voice. His wolf tail had a slight wag to it.
“You're back early, how was the mission?”
“Easy, mostly recon.” He sighed.
You gestured at the guns he put down. “I'll get those checked out for you.”
Ghost walked up to the counter you were behind and leaned on it.
“You had lunch yet?” He asked. You shook your head.
“Come on then.” He headed toward the door.
“I'm not that hungry, you can go without me.” You didn't meet his eyes.
“Hmm.” He slowly walked behind the weapons counter blocking the only exit.
“Is there something wrong?” He asked in a matter-of-fact tone.
“No, why would there be anything wrong?” You shrugged.
He leaned down to your level, his eyes peeking at you through blonde eyelashes. You backed up as far as you could only able to get a few more inches away from him.
“You're not a very good liar, bunny.” He stood up to his full height and walked out, leaving you flustered and hot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the day went by painfully slow. Your heat intensified after Ghost paid his visit. It came over you in waves, almost causing you to double over at times. You considered asking him for help many times but ultimately decided against it. After work was done you practically ran to your room. You'd already asked your supervisor if you could have the next few days off, explaining the situation. You opened the door and shut it quickly behind you before shedding your clothes off. Your tail ached from being hidden all day. Your fuzzy ears stretched out, one stayed straight up and the other folded down. You flopped down onto your bed eager to use your toys.
You reached into the drawer on your bedside table, only to find nothing. You sat up and searched frantically. Where did you put them? This is bad. You looked under your bed, in your bathroom, in your dresser, nothing. The frustration started getting to you. Your eyes welled up with tears as you looked. Your feet thumped in anger every time you looked and they weren't there. As you checked your bathroom for the third time a knock sounded at your door. You grabbed your robe as you were only in underwear and slipped it on. You stomped to the door and wiped your tears before opening it.
A skull mask was staring down at you. Ghost held up a familiar velvet bag and leaned on your doorframe.
“Looking for something?”
You reached up to grab the bag but he kept it out of reach.
“Give it to me, Simon!” You whined.
He pushed himself off the door and into your room closing the door behind him. The blonde shaggy tail wagged lazily behind him, clearly amused by your distress.
“Now, why didn't my bunny come to me for help?” He asked.
Your ears folded down against your head in embarrassment. “I don't need your help.”
He walked past you and put your toys back in the bedside drawer. He started taking off his gloves.
“Ok, thank you for returning them, you can leave now.” You said.
He placed his gloves on the nightstand. He turned to you, his eyes darkened. He stalked toward you slowly almost as if he was ready to pounce. You looked away from him but held your ground. He towered over you and tilted his head.
“You always were a little brat huh?” His words annoyed you.
Before you can give him a rebuttal he took his mask off giving you a full view of his scarred face. He grabbed your jaw roughly contrasting the gentle kiss he gave you. His tongue caressed your mouth open. Your knees weakened as he pulled you flush against his body by your waist. Your heat urged your body to submit, but your mind wasn't there yet. You pulled away breathlessly. He still had a firm hold on the side of your face.
“I don't need your help, Simon.” You said once again quietly.
Simon's golden ear twitched in annoyance. “Right.”
He picked you up by the hips and wrapped your legs around his waist. He walked you to your bed, embarrassment written on your face. He laid you down on the bed, pressing his hips into yours. You whimpered at the friction he created. He leaned down to nibble and suck your neck making you squirm. His hand made its way past your robe and into your panties with ease. Your wetness made it easy for him to dip his fingers into you. You gasped at the intrusion, practically melting into the mattress.
“Don't need my help, but you're so wet for me, Bunny.”
“I bet you were gonna think of me anyway.” Simon purred into your ear.
You moaned weakly as he worked his finger into you, his thumb circling your clit gently. His nose grazed your own, taking in the look of ecstasy on your face. Your orgasm came quickly and with force. Simon knew exactly what buttons to push to get you shivering under him. He unsheathed his fingers from you and popped them in his mouth, tasting your slick.
“Tell me what you want.” He demanded.
“ I...Simon..." You whined.
“Tell me, Bunny.”
You covered your face muffling your words.
“I can't hear you, love. Speak up.”
“Please help me.....through my heat....”
“That's more like it." He purred.
He opened your robe and slid your panties off. In his haste, he ripped them a bit and you whined. You ignored your small protest and worked on your bra removing it expertly.
“I'll buy you some new ones.” He said quickly.
Ghost shed his clothing and flipped you over on your stomach.
“Ass up.” He tapped your hip.
You got on your knees arching your back deeply to present yourself to him. You wiggled your ass eager to have him inside you. He used a hand to steady your hips and slid his tip in between your folds. He slowly pushed himself into savoring the way your walls clenched around him.
“Ohh, you feel so good, Bunny.” He growled.
You were almost incoherent, the daze of your heat clouding your mind. You pushed your hips against his trying to get more friction. Simon bottomed out into you and started thrusting into you hard. He kept his pace slow at first, slamming his hips into yours. His tip grazed your cervix in a deliciously painful way. You whimpered every time it did. As his pace sped up, Simon's sighs turned into grunts and moans. He enjoyed watching your fluffy bunny tail bounce as he rammed into you.
“You take me so well.” The praise he gave you made your walls flutter.
He reached around your leg to rub your clit. Your moans got more desperate and guttural as your second orgasm approached. He slowed his movements ever so slightly to drag your pleasure out longer.
“I wanna cum Si, Please.” You whined.
“Only when I tell you, Bunny. You know the rules.” He grunted out.
“And since you didn't come to me first, you need a little bit of a punishment hmm?” You could hear the smirk in his voice.
His thrust slowed, still keeping them firm. His hips slapped against your ass rhythmically. Your moans got higher pitched, his edging did a number on your heat-ridden body. Your legs trembled underneath you, the stimulation becoming more intense by the second. Luckily he didn't torture you for long.
“Cum for me.”
Simon's pace sped up and you came almost instantly. Your vision was fuzzy as you collapsed onto the bed. He bent down and caressed your head as you recovered from your orgasm. Simon rubbed your ear lovingly.
“I'm not done with you, Bunny.”
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1pepsiboy · 7 months ago
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Just Like A Movie (Matt Sturniolo fluff)
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Description: After a morning of fliming, Matt wants to enjoy fall activites with his girlfriend (reader). Inspired the song by the Wallows and Matt's love for fall time.
Word count: 1.4K
Warnings: None, just fluffy and silly Matt!
A/N: This is my first Matt writing, so sorry if it's not totally accurate! Lol I do requests! Currently anything Chris, Matt, Nick, and Colby!
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Matt, Chris, and Nick were filming a guess 21 different halloween candies challenge. You sat on the couch behind the camera, scrolling through your phone but periodically looked up to glance at your boyfriend. Who would cheese when you did. Sometimes you'd make a silly face or comment, distracting him enough they'd have to restart part of the segment. Finally, they finish and Matt was the one closest to getting them all right. It wasn't surprising since he'd won guessing 21 different drinks.
Matt makes his way to the couch and wrapped his arms around you immediately. He nustles his head into your shoulder for a couple minutes and you run your fingertips up and down his back. Then he gives you a quick peck on the lips, mostly because Nick and Chris were still in the kitchen and they would make jokes about it.
You lick your lips and furrow your brows. "Hmm... I taste Snickers? No, Reese's?"
"(y/n)!" Matt whines lightly.
"Wait, wait, wait." You kiss his soft lips again. "It's Kitkat!"
A giggle escapes Matt and he lightly rolls his blue eyes. "Can we go do fall things, babe? Get away from those idiots over there. I've had enough of them today."
Nick flips him off as Chris fake laughs and makes a face. "So unoriginal Matt."
Now you roll your eyes. "Let's leave these losers to their lame things."
----
"I can drive if you want, babe," you suggest as you make it out the door after Matt changed his outfit to fit the vibe more. It's early afternoon now and barely a breeze to make it feel like a real fall day.
He shoots you a side smile and unclips the keys from his jean beltloop. "No, that's okay, I don't mind."
The two of you get comfortable in the front seats, starting up the recent playlist you created.
"Where to first?" you ask.
"What about... apple patch? Wait, I mean pumpkin picking... Fuck, I mean apple picking and then a pumpkin patch."
You reach out and lace your fingers with his. "I'd love to go to an apple patch and pumpkin picking. Maybe hot cocoa after?"
He nods and you put in the directions for the nearest apple picking farm. The two of you sing along. And you couldn't help pointing out people going about their daily lives. It takes up most of your conversation before you arrive at the farm.
Matt locks the car before he clips them back on the their loop and takes your hand. The apple farm was free to anyone, but they had a jar and square for donations/tips. You take out your card for them to do a $5 donation, and Matt doubles the amount.
You take a small basket and pull him over to one of the trees. Unfortunately most of the reachable ones were picked. But both of you still attempt to get one or two by running and jumping. You know you look like idiots, however you didn't care.
Matt gets a video of you as you finally acquire an apple and show it triumphantly. "That's right. No tree is a match for me! This apple is my bitch." You bite a chunk of the crispy green apple.
Matt laughs. "Babe, we're supposed to save them to make caramel apples!"
Your eyes go wide and you laugh as you chew it to a point you could speak. "Sorry, I can get another one."
He slips his phone back into his pocket as he shakes his head. "Let's try a different tree.
The second tree was a similar situation despite it just being on the brink of fall. There were a lot of early birds.
This time you get a story of Matt snagging two apples and he tries to not show how out of breath he is. "Ahh! Hah! I got some."
The two of you try two more trees and manage to get a few more.
There was a station for you to either bag them right away or make them caramel or chocolate covered before leaving. You spend far too long deciding on how many should be caramel and chocolate, and what toppings should be on them. You think of each brother and friend that'll want one. By the end, there's only one left and neither of you made one for yourselves.
"You choose," Matt says, kissing your cheek.
With creative intuition, you make it half and half, then smear all sorts of toppings on it and present it. Matt rests his hand on top of yours and takes a bite out of it.
"Mm..." he nods and runs a half through his hair, most of falling back in place. "I like what you did with the caramel and chocolate."
You take your own, attempting to lick the excess off around your mouth. "Delicious."
Your next stop was at a nearby pumpkin patch, which was also a little picked over. But there were still enough to enjoy and walk around a little bit. You pick up a few of the biggest ones you could find to get photos with.
Matt pulls you in for a selfie. His eyes squint as the sun is directly in your eyes and fumbles backwards. This causes him to run into a bundle of baby pumpkins and his butt lands on top of the stems.
"Fucking shit!" He groans as he holds onto his ass and rolls over on the ground.
You hold back a laugh and help him up. He paces back and forth a couple times.
"I'm done with the pumpkins," he sulks.
"Let's get hot cocoa to make it all better," you baby, jutting out your bottom lip.
He tries not to laugh but it didn't work.
----
You enjoy a small walk as you sip on hot cocoa, the sun starts to go down. You hold the to-go cup tightly between your palms in the hopes to warm up your hands. You forgot to bring any sort of warm layer. Once the sun is gone, it feels like fall now.
Matt shoots you a concerned look. "Are you cold, babe?"
"A little, yeah," you laugh under your breath.
"Here, wear my sweater, (y/n)."
"No, it's fine."
It's too late, he already took his jacket off and pulls the vintage sweater over his head. You take the sweater and tug it over your short sleeve tee. The warmth of the material and from him wearing it all afternoon engulfs your entire body. It sends shivers down your spine from the temperature adjustment.
Matt has his jacket back on and wraps his arms around you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms. He kisses the crook of your neck. "Better?"
"Absolutely."
The two of you reminisce on your adventures of the day. Ultimately, though, it leads back to a few of the couples around you in the park. One were unashamedly having a full on make out session underneath a tree. Another were taking cutesy photos in matching outfits.
"You'll never catch us doing that," Matt comments.
You raise your eyebrows at him. "Did you forget the matching pj pants we had for christmas last year?"
"That doesn't count," he scoffs lightly. "It was only pants. I mean, like, top, pants, accessories, the whole fit. It's just cringy."
You giggle. "Whatever you say, Matty B."
"It is! Are you saying you want to do that?" He sips on his hot cocoa. "Cause that might be a deal breaker."
"Not seriously. More in an ironic way. Like those people on tiktok doing the 80s style photoshoots at JcPenny. Now that would be fun and not cringy!"
He shook his head. "No, nope."
"Come on!" you argue. "Think about the memories we could make!"
"Absolutely not, it would be embarrasing."
You roll your eyes. "That's kind of the point, babe."
"Still," he retorts.
"Fine." You sigh lightly. "I'll just ask Chris to do it with me. He won't care."
Matt shrugs, finishing the last of his drink, and tosses it into the nearest trash can. "Okay, you two have fun with that."
"We will." You do the same with your drink.
You sense Matt's a little down now and force him into a hug. "Thanks for today, babe. You're the best."
He falls into your body more and lets out a deep breath. "Any time, (y/n)."
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bigtedbear · 4 months ago
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“ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭: 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 “
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𝐩𝐫𝗼𝗺𝐩𝐭: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝗼𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞, 𝐲𝗼𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝗺 𝐭𝗼 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐚𝐧! 𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠 𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐲𝗼𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝
content warning: 18+ NSFW, 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈, gay sex, anal penetration, monster anatomy (specifically dragon anatomy), unsafe sex (cover your stump before you hump), mutual pining, mutual obsession, yandere themes, male reader, amab reader, yandere reader, yandere character, talks of mating rituals, biting, just a wee bit of blood, codependency, obsessive behavior, a lot of concerning talk but if you look at it from afar it's actually not that bad they just match each other's freak really well, march 7th, himeko, and caelus as the best enabler wingmen ever
Part 1 here: " unexpected variable "
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" welcome back caller @hikarisecret! connecting your line as we speak! "
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"Would you happen to be interested in meeting up more often?"
He immediately stopped in place.
Nervously, you twiddled your thumbs from the doorway to your small office.
It'd been about a month since you'd help Dan Heng get through his early heat. You'd let contact drop for a couple weeks, something he'd known would probably happen but also something he'd desperately hoped wouldn't occur. He'd only really spoken to you for an extended period of time on a handful of occasions. Being one of the few researchers that followed a path aside from the endless pursuit of knowledge, he was curious.
So maybe he'd always had a little bit of a crush, but March always called you "eye candy" for when they stopped at the Space Station. It never progressed any further than a couple chats, some red cheeks, and a some pleasantries here and there.
Then the Antimatter League wormed its way into the station and there you were, at the forefront of the evacuation efforts. Instead of being an aloof, distant researcher with a mind that was roaming the stars, you were alert and concentrated. You were so quick to help, it seemed you hadn't really wrapped your head around the imminent danger right in front of you.
That was truly when his little crush turned into something a little bit more than he was prepared to handle.
He was asking for you around the station when he had the chance, after all he was too shy to approach someone randomly and start interrogating them on the whereabouts of their coworker. He also knew he was a little bit more intimidating and came off as cold to most.
His inquiries actually did the opposite of what he had hoped. Knowing he was looking around for you, he thought you might be inclined to make yourself more available to maybe slack off occasionally or just stick around and chat for a few minutes. Instead of that happening, it seemed the more people seemed to remember your existence, the more people tried to look for you.
It was never out of malice, of course, they just remembered they had a less than social coworker. They'd make the effort to say hello to you in the halls, stop in at your office to say hi and maybe bring a coffee every now and then. But it seemed you were less than eager to entertain anyone when you were constantly burying your head in your studies.
Eventually, when your coworkers would stop in at your office, they'd find you weren't there. You were constantly switching between different labs and areas to conduct tests and gather data to solidify your latest thesis. Instead of becoming more social, easier to find, it seemed you retreated even further into your shell and avoided coming into contact with anyone else all together. Trying to find you became akin to trying to hold sand in a sieve.
That was precisely why he was so surprised when you suddenly invited him for a meeting to discuss the Vidyadhara of the Xianzhou Alliance. As soon as they were back on the Astral Express, it seemed someone managed to whisper enough information into your ear to pique your interest in the species. As of now, he had his theories, but he couldn't figure out whether it was Caelus or March that let everything slip.
When you invited him back to your office after what happened to continue your little conversation, he briefly wondered if this was a little bit too good to be true. While yes, you were nothing if not a dedicated genealogy researcher, that didn't stop him from wondering if you might have different intentions.
The last time he'd been in your office, the two of you were stuck in bed for nearly a week for his heat period. Inviting him back to your office again seemed a little bit too much like an invitation after too little time to be considered a coincidence. Did you want to get him in your bed again? Did you plan on trying to get something out of him now that you knew he actively fantasized about you on his lonesome? Then again, he realized he didn't really care if the answer to either of those questions was yes.
Of course, none of his suspicions were confirmed to be true.
You were professional, almost disappointingly so. Everything you asked him was less than personal, all aimed towards furthering your understanding of the Xianzhou Alliance as a whole. You finished your round of questions about his biology, and then you moved on to culture and social etiquette.
When you offered to walk him back to the docking area, he felt a little bit hopeless. No more closeness in conversation, it seemed you severed all intimacy the moment he wasn't in heat anymore.
But now, you stood in front of him, nervous and asking if he wanted to see you again?
'Yes, yes, yes, yes,' He would love to see you again, especially if it was for something that wasn't work related.
He would take what he could get in general. If you asked him to be your lab assistant or something, he would be so much more than just happy to say yes. Whatever time you wanted to spend with him, he would make himself available.
But he was just as socially inept as you were; Dan Heng sat in a slack-jawed stupor as he tried to his best to piece together sentences with the little fragments of thoughts swirling around in a white flurry. His mouth opened; he tried to talk, but every time he tried to make any statements, he doubled back and retracted it in favor of trying to think of something better to say.
At his reaction, you waved it off disappointedly. "Forget it, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought-" You cut yourself off again, biting the inside of your cheek.
It seemed the archivist finally managed to recompose himself, "No, I-" He paused, trying to put his feelings into words, "I'm just surprised you wanted to spend time together. I assumed that once you gathered the relevant information, we would go back to being acquaintances that didn't speak very often."
You shook your head, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood with a strained laugh, "I'll admit that's what I planned to do a month ago, but before we.." you trailed off, "...y'know, you mentioned that I only seemed to talk to you when I needed something from the astral express archives. I didn't really think it would be fair of me to keep exploiting your kindness like that."
He shook his head, "The archives are always open to whoever wishes to read them, I didn't mean to make it sound like you were taking advantage of anything."
You chewed on the inside of your lip this time, trying to think of a way to put it into words. "Well, it's not just that I realized I was benefitting from your kindness without putting any real effort back in, the thought occurred to me... I just don't speak to anyone outside of when I need to know something."
He remained quiet.
To thin out the building tension, you added on, "Arlan's told me before that it's really not healthy to live that way." You clasped your hands behind your back, "I thought since you mentioned being upset with the fact that we don't ever get to talk, maybe spending time together would be a good opportunity for me to start reintegrating into a more social scene?"
"Oh."
You nodded, "I apologize if it seems like I'm just trying to use you, I truly do want to become friends." You kicked at nothing in particular on the ground, averting eye contact. "I'm just afraid I don't know how to be friends with anyone anymore."
He let the silence take the place of the conversation. It wasn't that he was thinking about whether or not he wanted to take you up on your offer, it was how to do it elegantly without seeming desperate.
You bit the inside of your cheek, "You don't have to make the decision now, I just thought it would come off as insincere if I asked over text."
After another pause, he bobbed his head up and down slowly. "I don't know if I'm the right person to ask, but if you're asking me to be your friend, I won't say no."
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"Mr. Yang, do you know what's wrong with Dan Heng?"
March played with the hem of her skirt, nerves clear and obvious to all three trailblazers in the room, "I was going to ask him if he wanted to go back to Belobog with me and Caelus, but his door's locked."
Welt hummed, "It could well be related to all that transpired on the Xianzhou. It may be best if you leave him to his thoughts."
March shook her head adamantly, "No, it can't be! He just made a trip to the Space Station a few days ago." She put her hands on her hips, "Besides, even when he's in a bad mood, he doesn't lock his door. He's always weirdly strict on insisting everyone has access to the archives."
He nodded again, putting a contemplative hand on his chin. "That is true." He offered another idea, "Well, did the two of you think to ask him? Perhaps he'd answer if you sent him a text."
"March wanted to yell at him through the door, but we thought it might be better to see if anyone knew anything first," Caelus countered.
Mr. Yang nodded, "Have you consulted Himeko? She's a little bit closer to Dan Heng than I am, she might be able to offer more perspective on the situation."
March 7th nodded enthusiastically, "Thanks, Mr. Yang!"
He nodded, returning to staring at the expanse of stars just past his fingertips outside the glass windows of the express. "It's no problem, let me know if there's any serious updates on the situation."
As the two younger and less experienced nameless made their way towards Himeko's desk at the back of the express, March did her best to try and put together the pieces in her head. While it wasn't clear whether or not she was trying to start a dialogue with Caelus, the timeline went as such.
Dan Heng is revealed to be the Imbibitor Lunae while on the Xianzhou Alliance's ship.
He resolves the crisis with Phantylia resulting in the lifting of his banishment from the Xianzhou.
He sticks around on the Alliance to deal with matters relating to his past life's status as the High Elder of the Vidyadhara.
He makes a trip to Herta's Space Station for mysterious reasons that nobody knows.
He makes it back to the express, he locks himself in his room.
Before the two of them can realize the glaringly obvious hole in the timeline, they're stood in front of Himeko's desk. March, as always, is the one to officially start the questioning. "Himeko! Have you noticed anything weird about the way Dan Heng's been acting lately?"
After taking another drawn out sip of her coffee, she hummed... "I suppose I have, but he's also just come back from a place with what I can only assume is a lot of bad memories. I'm sure if he's given a little bit of space, he'll be back to the same old Dan Heng in no time."
March 7th pursed her lips, "I would agree with you if this wasn't so weird!" She crossed her arms, "He doesn't ever lock his door! Not when he's in a bad mood, not even when he's changing for crying out loud!"
Himeko nodded, bringing her mug back up to her lips silently. "I guess that is a little bit weird... do you two happen to have any idea what he's been up to lately?"
"Well, when we all boarded the Express again, he made a stop at the Herta Space Station. We could be looking at this all wrong." Caelus crossed his arms, "Maybe instead of something happening on the Xianzhou, something happened at the Space Station. He was there about a month ago and then again a few days ago. I think he stayed for around a week the first time."
The moment the words passed the newest addition to the astral express's lips, both women paused in their tracks.
"..."
"..."
Himeko was the first to break the silence, lowering her "lifeblood" back onto its coaster on her desk. "March, you don't think... do you?"
Immediately, after Himeko broke the silence, March 7th let a happy squeal and started waving her hands around, "Oh, my, aeons! Himeko, do you know what this means?!"
Caelus could only look between the two of them in complete and utter confusion. "Am I missing something?"
Before Himeko could answer any potential questions, March was already running back towards the archivist's locked door, yelling his name at the top of her lungs, "Dan Heng, you sly dog!"
Caelus could only look back at Himeko with a brow raised.
She cleared her throat, "Well, I guess now is a better time than never to find out."
"Find out?" He voice trailed up at the end, "Find out what?"
Himeko put her hands on her desk, "Well... Dan Heng, as you know, is not always the most approachable person." She drummed her nails on the desk, "But it happens even he isn't immune to his emotions."
The trailblazer paused, "So Dan Heng's acting like this cause he likes someone? And they work at the space station?"
Himeko nodded her head, gesturing towards the hallway. "I'd tell you more, but it seems March is pretty intent on getting those answers out of him for herself."
Caelus nodded, uncrossing his arms. "Well, can I ask you a question?"
Himeko nodded, turning back to her monitor and gripping her mug of coffee once again. "Sure, go ahead." She lifted it to her lips, taking in a long swig.
"Is it that one guy March started texting about Vidyadharas?"
Immediately, she let out a strangled noise into her drink.
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Were you even the same person?
"Arlan? Arlan!"
You snapped your fingers in front of his face, "Earth to Arlan? Hello?"
He shook his head back and forth, trying to snap out of the mini daze he was in. "I- Yeah, sorry. You're just... different, is all."
You raised your brow, looking down at your uniform. You pulled at your collar, "Did Miss Asta's suggestions really do all that much? I don't think I look too different."
Arlan's brows creased at a point on his forehead. "I guess they did, work-life balance looks good on you."
Instead of the barely alive looking researcher he constantly found himself hanging out with, it looked as if you were glowing in the fluorescent light of the cafeteria.
You nodded, "You know, I feel a lot better than I usually do." You paused, poking at your well-portioned and prepared meal in front of you, "Sometimes I still feel guilty about how little work I get done in comparison to when I didn't focus on the little things."
Arlan was quick to agree, "Yeah, I understand the feeling." He picked at his own food, eating a mouthful of the fried-rice Lady Asta loved so much. "Still, if you're looking better and feeling better, you're doing better all around."
For the first time since you set foot on the station, you'd taken the week off under the guidance of Lead Researcher Asta. She always scolded your ear off for working your fingers to brittle bone, but it seemed when you actually took her recommendations to heart, something in you fundamentally shifted.
Instead of skipping sleep to observe DNA strands for a few extra hours near midnight? You were turning in at a specified time every night and waking up at the appropriate hour the next morning. It was the first time you'd really grown accustomed to the sound of your phone alarm. Usually, you didn't sleep for 48 hours and then you would crash for 16.
Instead of getting so absorbed in your research you were forgetting to eat, you set aside the new found time taken away from research to make yourself a healthy, nutritious meal for each sitting of the day. You made yourself a breakfast that would warm up well in the morning, made yourself a hearty lunch to make sure you had enough energy to get through the day, and then a light dinner to make sure your digestive system wouldn't have to go into overdrive while you slept.
Originally, when you read up on self-care, you weren't all too sure you could make all the changes without some kind of drastic shift in your schedule immediately. But you were determined, you wouldn't let your social life pass you by any longer!
Instead of shying away from the challenge, you started small. You'd implement times in your routine where you would regularly stop and eat based on timers on your phone. You set an alarm for yourself to remind yourself it was time to stop working and go home.
Then, when you finally were ready to make the big leap, you consulted Asta and managed to get her to pull a few strings to get you some time off.
You took your week off to strengthen all of your healthy habits and kill off all the bad ones. You didn't have the opportunity to neglect yourself when it really was the only thing you could do. You started working out again to pass the time, you even got Arlan to drop Peppy off to keep you company when he was getting to be a handful around the station.
Arlan took a moment to thoroughly chew his food and swallow it, "As happy as I am that you're finally seeing the light, what exactly prompted all this change?"
You paused, seemingly chewing your own food slower in response. "Well, I want to start trying to make more friends."
He raised a brow, "I guess it's usually easier to make friends if you're taking care of yourself."
You nodded, "I mean, yeah, but I didn't really feel the need to look or feel better because I was really focused on my work and stuff like that." You averted your eyes, "You have to promise not to laugh at me if I tell you this."
Arlan could only feel himself getting more suspicious by the second, "Okay... I won't laugh at you. But why would I laugh at you?"
"I'm a little pathetic," you laughed, awkwardly at best. "I-". You paused again, taking a deep breath, "I don't know, I set up to meet with this guy in Aurum Alley on the Xianzhou Alliance ship and I didn't want him to have to walk around with someone that looked like a walking corpse. You and Asta always joke that I'm the walking dead and I-"
Arlan held up his hand, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's a lot to unpack to start off with." You blinked at him, snapping your jaw shut immediately. "Me and Asta only joke about that because you treat yourself like you want to be walking corpse. You hardly take care of yourself."
You nodded, swallowing a glob of spit.
"Second of all," he picked up another spoonful of rice, "Who are you meeting? Why do you think you need to change yourself to be good enough to just walk around someplace with him?"
You sighed, "That's the problem, I don't really know." You poked at your food with your fork, "He's just really cool. He's got a lot of friends and he has a really exciting life but he kind of just chooses to try and hang out with me. I don't really think I'm worth that much effort and yet he goes out of his way to try and look for me? It just feels like I'm letting him down if I don't put in the same kind of effort."
Arlan's face scrunched up, "Are you talking about Dan Heng?"
You tilted your head, "How did you know?"
"Well, he kind of follows you around like a lost puppy dog." He took another bite of his food, "He's not gonna care whether or not your eyebags are darker or if you're a little bit on the thinner side. He's already long decided he wants to be around you even at you worst."
You bit your lip, considering it for a moment. "I don't know what it is, but I feel like if anything goes wrong in Aurum Alley it's going to be life-ruining."
"What do you mean by that?" He frowned, "That... sounds really ominous."
You held your head in your free hand, "I don't know, I just feel like if he thinks I'm weird or disgusting or anything like that I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"Hey, let's back it up." Arlan set his spoon down on the table, "It's just a meet-up with a guy, nothing's going to happen if your date fails. If you have an awful date, there's always going to be the chance to make it up the next time. Besides, as long as you two are good spirited about it, there's no such thing as a bad date unless he like... I don't know, poisons you or something."
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking it over.
For the first time during the entire conversation, you looked him directly in the eyes.
"...I just feel like letting go after getting in this close isn't an option anymore."
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"March? Caelus?"
Said girl nervously laughed, shrinking behind the newspaper she was trying to hide her face in.  “Uh oh…”
Next to her, Caelus shook his head, “Busted.” 
Dan Heng stood, a little bit behind you, huffing through his nose.  While he didn’t say anything momentarily, the nature of his expression indicated he was more than just cross with the other nameless tag-alongs.  “What are the both of you doing in Aurum Alley?  I thought you both said you were busy today.” 
March quickly went to defend herself, folding the rather large newspaper shut.  “We are busy! We… just happen to be busy here!” 
Next to her, Caelus nodded his head intently.  
His arms across his chest, the tail trailing from his lower back smacked against the ground in an annoyed fashion.  He tapped his finger on his forearm a couple times, “What exactly are the two of you busy with?  This is the one day I told the both of you I would be visiting the Xianzhou Alliance.”
While nobody outright accused each other of anything, the implication was clear.  March 7th and Caelus were here because they knew Dan Heng would be on a date.  They were only here because they knew he would be on a date.  Instead of just checking in on him, they took it upon themselves to follow their fellow passenger and his unfortunate partner around.   With all the tension that started to blot the air like little rain clouds, you took it upon yourself to try and cut through it.  “Aren’t you in charge of commerce in Aurum Alley?  I heard from one of my coworkers that his wife has started ordering from the Food Stand here.” 
Automatically picking up on your out, Caelus nodded, “I was, but I handed it off to the Commerce Guild’s acting president.  She, uh-”  He sputtered over his words, “She asked for some help packing up a few Starskiffs and March didn’t have anything to do today, so… she tagged along?” 
You nodded, a little bit shyly, “Speaking of which, have you tried any of the food from the stand?  I’ve heard they recently upgraded their entertainment, but I haven’t heard much about the food quality.” 
March excitedly added in her two cents, “Oh! Me and Caelus were about to head that way!  He said that the Tall Auntie running the place usually has some freebies for him since he helped the store set-up their take-out ordering system!” 
Your eyes glinted excitedly, “Really?  I didn’t hear about that part.”  You clasped your hands together, “You really live up to all the rumors I hear on the station.  Didn’t you also set up the marketing campaign with the current High Elder of the Vidyadhara?”
Before he could answer, Dan Heng waved the pair off with a hand. “I’m sure we can continue this conversation some time later.  They said they were busy, we wouldn’t want to make them late to anything.” 
March was quick to interject, “Actually! We’re going on a lunch break real quick!”  She turned to Caelus, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Right?”
He nodded again, “We should all go to Tall Aunty’s Food Stand.” 
You opened your mouth to voice your agreement before your companion cut in, “No need, we planned on grabbing lunch later.” 
You looked at him, blinking a couple times.  Before you could say anything, March was already up in arms.  “It wouldn’t hurt you guys to move up your lunch plans, besides, this is our only lunch break until we have to go back to work!”
Instead of confirming or denying March’s statement, the trailblazer stood back and simply listened to the argument.  You chose to do the same.  
Dan Heng, on the other hand, let more displeasure drip into his expression.  “We didn’t plan on running into each other while we were out, your plans and our plans happen to be different.  We can arrange another time for the four of us to get lunch at the food stall.”
March put her hands on her hips, “Well, you guys are just hanging out, right?  It couldn’t hurt to just push back those plans to roam so you can spare some time to talk with friends.”  When she didn’t get any response from Dan Heng, she clasped her hands together in front of her chest, “Please?  Pretty please?  It’s been so long since all of us have seen each other!” 
“Hmph.” 
The person you’d originally come to Aurum Alley with was unmoved by her earnest plea, but you were somewhat swayed.  Your face twisted in sympathy.  “...Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just go out to lunch with them this once.  Aurum Alley will still be here when we get done eating, I haven’t had the time to meet up with March lately or even get to know Caelus.  It might be good for me to make more friends.” 
He opened his mouth to protest, but he was cut off by March.  She threw her arm over your shoulder, “See? He gets it!” 
You curled in on yourself from the sudden change in position, leaning to the side a bit so she could actually hook her forearm around your biceps. Caelus finally decided now would be the best time to contribute to the conversation, “I don’t think I’ve talked to [name] before, I’ve been curious about their work since Lady Asta, Herta, and Arlan seem to hold him in high regard as a researcher.” 
You shook your head, putting your hands up.  You were a little scrunched in the position, “Oh, please don’t misunderstand, I’m really nothing all that special.” 
March shook her head, “Nonsense, you’re one of the best at the Space Station!  I heard you used to help a lot of interns before you started focusing on Genealogy!” 
You crumpled in on yourself, “Well, that’s usually the usual career path for researchers at the station in general.  Before we find our specialized area of research, you generalize and if anyone asks you to train them, you train them.”  Scratching your chin nervously, “Besides, I’ve kind of put work on the back burner in favor of trying to take better care of myself.” 
“Oh! I’d been meaning to ask about that, your skin is glowing!” March added,  “I remember Asta always used to call you some kind of zombie whenever you came up in conversation.” 
Caelus tilted his head to the side, “Really?” 
Your cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, “Yeah, everyone says I look really different now.  I usually get a lot more comments about how there’s more color in my skin or something along those lines.”
The conversation went on for a little longer before Dan Heng sighed, he pressed a couple of his fingers to his temple.  “I-” He closed his mouth, pinching the skin of his lip between his upper and lower set of teeth.  “-I guess getting lunch together wouldn’t change our plans all that much.”
“Yes!” March threw a fist into the air, ecstatic at the sudden change in plans.  She pointed a thumb over at the trailblazer, leaning in to talk behind her other hand.  “Caelus has been wanting to meet you, Dan Heng mentions you a lot on the express.” 
You felt your cheeks smolder at the suggestion, “He… does?” 
Dan Heng cleared his throat, his own cheeks dusted a matching scarlet, “We should get going, we don’t want to get caught up in the middle of the lunch rush.” 
March gave a cheeky smile, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Dan Heng.” 
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"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by... a 'surprise'."
“A surprise is just something you don’t know about,”   Caelus answered, rather monotone.  
Dan Heng grimaced ever so slightly, “If that’s the case, can I be sure I want to be privy to this...surprise then?”
March 7th punched her gray-haired raccoon-in-crime in the shoulder.  She shot him a stern look, as stern as she could look with her cutesy exterior.  Turning her attention back to the man they were trying to convince to head out to the lobby of the Express, she did her best to plead her case, “You’ve been holed up in your room since last week!  We just wanted to give you a little gift that might cheer you up a bit.” 
He raised a brow quizzically, arms still crossed over his chest.  “Can you guarantee this is a gift I’ll like?  Or is it going to be something like being invited to you and Himeko’s girls’ night again.” 
Caelus’s head snapped to March.  
Said passenger cleared her throat, “This is something you’ll like-”  She put a hand on her heart, the other balling into a fist resting on her hip,  “I swear it on all my honor!” 
Dan Heng looked over them again, gaze swapping between the two incredulously.  In the meantime, both of them were sweating bullets.  They didn’t know how long they had before “the surprise” would arrive at the station.   After a drawn out pause, however, he shook his head, “Fine, but if it’s anything like your previous gifts, this is the last time I trust you.” 
Marched pumped a fist into the air with a loud cheer, Caelus, on the other hand, put both hands on Dan Heng’s shoulders.  He flipped his fellow trailblazer around to face towards the door to his room, all but pushing him.  March followed after him excitedly.  The one thought running through the guy usually dragged into all their shenanigans was an inner turmoil sparked by the dread swirling through his cranium.  
The short walk to the door dividing the lobby and the residential areas of the train was punctuated by Caelus hurriedly covering his eyes.  As such, said swirling dread started to elevate into alarm bells sweeping through his nervous system as well.  This wasn’t a simple invite to an event or anything of the sort, it was tangible and you could see it. 
“Is covering my eyes necessary?” 
March confirmed this from behind him, “Yes, absolutely necessary!” 
As the door to the lobby swung open when they got close enough, he could hear faint chatter from Pom-Pom, Welt, and Himeko through the door.  The alarm bells dotting his body seemed to blare all the louder and cast off more red light when the talks quieted down immediately. 
His hands balled up into fists at his side, flexing and unflexing as a result of his nerves.  Before he could ask any more questions, the hands that were covering his eyes suddenly were retracted.  
He blinked a few times, trying to figure out what exactly he was seeing.  Okay so, the first elephant in the room.  You were in the middle of the parlor car, in your street clothing rather than your uniform.  One hand wrapped its fingers around the handle of a rolling suitcase.  Your other arm was hanging limp at your side and your posture sort of crumpled in on itself.  Even when you spoke, your voice was just a smidge shaky.  "Surprise?"
Even though he hadn’t meant to be aggressive in the slightest, his voice was a little bit sharp when he questioned, “What are you doing here?”
In response, your own voice seemed to get stuck in your throat filter, “Well, I-” You started, making a circular motion with your free hand, “I thought it might be time for me to make some changes in life and I got an invitation from the astral express…”  the sentence trailed off afterwards.  
“So you’re saying…” 
You shrugged, “I just thought it’d be rude since the astral express doesn’t ever really invite anyone to become a passenger and I was already a little bit bored on the Space Station-”  You coughed into a fist, “Himeko was the one who reached out originally, stating there was a gap in the Express’s skill set.  She said that since I was already a friend, the train would be happy to have me.”  
Dan Heng waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t he added in his own little stamp of input.  “When you said you were moving, you meant you were going to be… joining the express?”
Your hand finally left your suitcase, held up defensively alongside your free hand, “Well, March told me it’d be best to keep it a secret!”  You nervously averted eye contact, “When I asked Lady Asta whether or not it'd be okay, she agreed it’d be a harmless little prank.”  
Mr. Yang hummed thoughtfully, “It seems only you and I were kept in the dark.  I only learned there would be a new addition to the crew yesterday.” 
Himeko chortled next to him, crossing her legs in her seat, “Well, I guess it slipped my mind.” 
You took a deep breath, “I was getting pretty tired of the same wake up, research all day, eat a few times, and then go back to bed.  I was always a little bit jealous of all the stories you’d tell from your trailblazing expeditions as one of the nameless because I’ve only ever known my home planet and the Station.”  You motioned to the navigator of the Astral Express, “Himeko said that there would always going to be new things you all haven’t encountered before, it would be useful to have someone learned in technology that could dissect any new contraptions we came across.”  You sighed, “I might’ve jumped the gun a little bit, but can you blame me?” 
When you gave him the chance to speak, he immediately asked about the only real concern he had, “But... your research, you always talked about how important it was to you.” 
You nodded, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, it's more important to me than life itself. That's why I didn't quit my job, Arlan and Asta pleaded my case to Herta and I’m transitioning to remote work.”  You kicked at the air with one foot, “It also helps that Lady Herta has been interested in expanding her areas of research so she can implement new things into the Simulated Universe.” 
Dan Heng took a second to mull it over, “So you’re going to move onto the express, for good?” 
You nodded excitedly, grabbing the handle of your luggage again.
“Yes, I’m becoming one of the nameless.”
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"You asked to see me?"
Arlan glanced up from where he was sitting at his desk.   Setting down the tablet he was reading a new report on, he pushed it to the side.  “Sorry, I didn’t expect you to be here so soon.”   He gestured to the seat in front of him, “Please, have a seat.  I just had a couple things I wanted to talk about.” 
The archivist nodded, pulling the chair out so he could properly settle in.  “Of course.”   Upon seating himself and getting comfortable, he broke the silence again, “What is it that you wanted to discuss?” 
The head security officer bit at the inside of his cheek, trying to find the most sensitive way to broach the topic.  He tapped his finger on the desk, before deciding to rip off the band-aid pretty quickly, “Have you noticed any changes in [name] as of late?” 
Dan Heng blinked a couple times.  “Not particularly, did you?” 
“Well,” He swallowed, “I’m just a little worried about him.  I don’t know how he’s been doing since he left for the express, but before he left he said some concerning things.  I couldn’t tell if he meant them or not.” 
In response, Dan Heng tried not to pry too hard.  However, since it did concern you, he felt it also concerned him.  “What kinds of things did he say?” 
Arlan paused again, trying to really think things over before making an even bigger deal out of them, “I don’t know if you can call them weird on their own, but he just doesn’t… say things like that ever.  It’s out of character for him and I’m afraid it’ll get worse now that me and Lady Asta won’t be there to keep him in check.” 
“I can’t exactly help if I don’t know what he said,” Dan Heng reasoned, “The only real change I noticed was his relationship with his work.  Since he’s been on the express, he’s been working a lot more.  Aside from that, he seems to enjoy setting aside time to run around with March and Caelus.  I find I have a lot more time alone because it seems they’ve started alternating between the two of us to rope into their schemes.” 
Arlan nodded, “I guess that makes me feel a little bit better.”  
The other man nodded back at him in response, “Still, what did he say that had you concerned?  As one of his friends, I feel obligated to make sure he’s alright.” 
“Well, I feel a little bit awkward saying it since it was originally about you.”  To this, Arlan drummed his fingers on his desk, “It started a couple days before the two of you went out for the first time to Aurum Alley.  He started talking about how he felt he wasn’t cool enough to be around you, that he needed to change somehow so he wouldn’t embarrass you.” 
Dan Heng nodded, keeping his mouth shut. 
The security officer’s frown deepened, “But it just got worse from there.  I don’t want to scare you or anything, but he’s… weird about you-really weird.”  
“...about me specifically?” Dan Heng’s head cautiously leaned to the side.  
Arlan bobbed his head up and down quickly, “Yeah, just you.”  He let his hands go limp on the table, “He’s been doing really good otherwise.  It’s just like he took all his unhealthy habits and converted them into these weird thoughts and ideas about you.”  He raised one of his hands to count out each of the changes on his fingers, “He’s started eating healthy, eating regularly, working out again, he actually sleeps on time, and he’s making friends, arguably he’s doing better than he has for a long time.”  He leaned his face on his other hand, “But then he’ll start talking about you and it’s like a demon’s hiding under his tongue.” 
The astral express passenger pursed his lips, trying to hide the audible drumming of his heart in his ears.  “Well, what kinds of things does he say?” 
Arlan paused, chewing on his lip, “He talks about you like this kind of unattainable goal.”  He shifted to rest both his forearms on the table.  “There’s just this weird far off look in his eyes and I can tell he’s only saying half the stuff on his mind.  All these half-baked thoughts about how he doesn’t deserve to hang out with you, muttering about ways he can change himself to be more ‘worthy’ of your time or whatever.  It’s scaring me.” 
“...” 
“...I don’t know.”  Arlan sighed, “I want to be happy for how much progress he’s making but he isn’t making it for himself.” 
“...he really said all those things about me?”
Arlan seemed a little taken aback, “Uh, yeah… he did.”  
He swallowed a glob of spit down his throat, “And you’re saying all these changes for the better have been because he wants to impress me?” 
Arlan took a moment to think before responding.  Slowly, he nodded his head, “Yeah… it’s why I asked if you noticed any changes.  He talks about you a lot and you guys seem to be hanging out more than ever.” 
“That’s… a little bit concerning.” 
Arlan didn’t answer back immediately.  He could feel something was a little bit… off.  “Yeah, that’s… kind of why I wanted to bring it up to you.” 
Upon hearing the suspicion in the other man’s tone, Dan Heng did his best to try and clear the air, “Sorry, it’s… just a lot to take in at once.  I didn’t expect that was what you wanted to talk about.” 
Trying to shake off the unease, the head security officer shrugged, “I could only really imagine.”  He sighed, “My main concern is whether or not he’s acting weird on the express.  I tried to write it off as him being excited to make a new friend early-on, since I knew he only really had Lady Asta when he arrived on the Space Station.  When he started making a lot more friends and he was still acting weird about you, I didn’t really have an excuse for him anymore.” 
Dan Heng nodded, “I don’t really think you have to worry anymore.” 
Arlan tried to ignore his stomach dropping through the floor. “...Oh.” 
Dan Heng nodded, “I mean to say, he can’t hold me on a pedestal anymore because we are both nameless.  He doesn’t have anything to look up to when we are both on equal footing.” 
Your former best friend tried to agree, he really wanted to.  He wanted to believe that Dan Heng was just innocently naive about the nature of your words and actions, but the archivist wasn’t stupid.  He should’ve obviously known something was wrong.  “...I guess I can see where you’re coming from. But can I just ask one thing of you?”
Arlan was right to be suspicious, because Dan Heng was only really telling a half-truth.  As selfish as it sounded, the nameless was more than happy for this sudden change in circumstance.  
The archivist hummed, "Of course."
"Be careful." Arlan paused before continuing, "I know you might think you'd be able to handle it if he gets out of control, but he's a lot stronger than he looks. He's been working out too and I'm scared he might... end up becoming dangerous."
Instead of further pushing the conversation, the express passenger acknowledged his worry. "I can see where you're coming from. But, I feel that he's starting to mellow out. He's not just spending time hanging around me or anyone on the express in particular. I promise that you don't need to keep worrying about him."
Even as he tried to convince Arlan that his intentions for encouraging him to trust in the express were pure, he knew that he was only making excuses. If the head security officer chose to peel back just a couple more of the layers to his act, he would find the man's true thoughts.
‘You don’t need to worry about him, because feeling like that is normal, isn’t it? I feel the same way.’
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"Oh, the group already headed out for the Festival. Did you plan on telling them something before they left?"
You stood near Himeko’s coffee maker, cradling one of the many mugs you’d brought with you to the express. Judging by the steam wafting off the top of the coffee, you’d just freshly brewed yourself a drink and were getting ready to retreat back into your hastily thrown together room to continue working on some kind of research project.
Dan Heng, on the other hand, hadn’t been doing anything in particular before the conversation. Fresh out of his room, he'd opted to leave his heavy coat hung up. “No, not in particular.”
You tilted your head, eyes still focusing on your hot beverage, “Alright, is there any particular reason why you asked if they were gone yet?”
“Well, the two of us are alone on the entire express. The residential compartment is completely cleared out…”. He trailed off his sentence, crossing his arms across his chest.
You raised your brow curiously, setting your drink down on the counter to go about swapping the coffee filter. “Yeah…? I guess we are.”
Dan Heng chewed on the inside of his cheek, “Well, if we were going to do anything that might necessitate being alone, now would be the best time since everyone else is at the Charmony Festival.”
Your cheeks flushed pink, “I guess, but I can't really think of anything that the two of us would do, that is unless you’re going into another heat?” You murmured to nobody in particular, “Most reptilian species only have a mating period during a certain season though.”
“Do you…” he paused, considering his words carefully, “Do you think that would be the only time I'd be interested in doing something like that?”
You could feel a tingly warmth creep up your neck, “W-Well,” you dropped the used filter in the trash can. “That was the last time we did anything like that and I just thought, y’know…”
Dan Heng’s lips pulled into a tight line, “If I wasn't going into heat? If I just wanted to sleep together?”
You faced away from him, rummaging through the cabinets for the coffee grounds. “I-” You fumbled with the satchel, grasping a new filter with your other hand,
“I wouldn't say no…?”
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"Ahn~ Right there, right there, right thererightthere-"
His fingers dug into the spots of your headboard right next to your skull, chest pushed forward and hips angled backward to form a beautifully lewd arch.
You gave another pointed jolt of your hips, positively radiant when Dan Heng exploded into shudders of ecstasy. Thighs shaking, he did his best to try and encourage them to lift a little. When he reached as high as he knew he could get, he dropped his hips back down onto yours rather unceremoniously with a pornographic mewl.
Despite the drool leaking down his chin, you leaned in to give him a peck on the lips. The moment your mouth was on his, it seemed almost like a silent invitation. Even with the lack of any real stimulation, he hands transferred from the cracked and scarred wood to your shoulders. He groaned into your mouth tracing his left hand’s pointer finger over your exposed collarbone.
Even with the building fatigue burning through his lower half, he did his best to pick himself up again. Your hands slithered from squeezing his love handles to gripping the curve of his ass. Supporting his hips, your arm strength added to the diminishing strength in his legs, dragging his insides up your length before slamming him back down to meet your pelvis forcefully.
“Oh~” he let out an airy moan, expertly swiping his finger along the dip in your skin from your collarbone up to the side of the neck. Instead of focusing on further chasing his release again, he leaned down to plant a sloppy, wet kiss on the side of your neck just underneath where the pads of his fingers rested on your pulse point.
You squirmed from the foreign sensation of the drool trailing down the sensitive skin, unexpectedly squeezing his ass in response. He smiled against your neck, shameless while he trailed a forked tongue over the artery hidden beneath your skin.
You weren't used to the sudden spark of confidence, shying away from his excessive touch with a quiet, nervous embarrassment. Your hands trailed back towards his waistline, pulling him up by the tempting dip in his figure, only to slam him back down again. When you were rewarded with a breathless, blissed call of your name, you didn't hesitate to do it again.
Before long, it seemed the two of you didn't have any thoughts running through your head but the desires of the flesh.
Firmly planting your feet on the mattress, the two of you seemed to get lost in the sudden plowing of your cock even deeper into his ass. The combined force of his weight, gravity, and your own aggressive rhythm contributing to the growing bulge of your tip just below the center of his abs, you felt lost to the sensations. Even in your sex-drunk haze, you didn't fail to realize the heightened nature of his vocals, it seemed his voice box was all but tearing itself apart with each of the punched out shrieks he pushed out right into your ear.
Even stranger, instead of moving his hips in tandem with yours, he seemed extremely fixated on the specific, certain spot of your neck he’d laid claim to just a few short moments earlier. With each drawn out groan forced out of his mouth, he lavished his affections on the same spot. Kissing the same point over and over in a silent worship.
The tips of your ears burning a stark red vermillion, you let a shaky roll of your hips smack into his insides especially sharp, “Shihittt~” In your attempt to combat the sensation, your face burned a deeper crimson when he moaned directly into your ear.
Even after a particularly harsh thrust, it seemed he was still dead set on focusing on that one specific point on your neck. With all the kisses suctioned to that specific square of flesh, the skin bruised a shy pink hue, and it only seemed to further encourage him.
In response, you gripped one of the horns on the crown of his head to finally get him to put his lips elsewhere. Peppering shy, messy, saliva-soaked kisses to an eager and hungry mouth you could feel your pace speed up as you crept up higher and higher towards your peak. His face contorted in the shape of each electric current of ecstasy wrapping itself like a cord up his spinal column. Even if he wanted to let out more pathetic whimpers and sobs, he couldn't find the strength to pull away from equally addictive kisses.
Shyly, you pried open his lips with your tongue. He reciprocated with a tantalizing whine, further welcoming you into his mouth. Without any delay, you dragged your tongue over the roof of his mouth, swirling your spit with his right on top of his Jacobson organ.
He shook in blissed out euphoria, brain flashing a blinding white before he pulled away from the kiss specifically to shriek your name. Pushing his chest up against yours, his arms bent awkwardly from where they were positioned on your upper body. Again he dipped his head into the crook of your neck, nipping at the same patch of wet, pinkening skin with the tips of his fangs.
You grunted, only further confused as he moved from just barely scraping fangs over your jugular to starting to suck a hickey into the raw redness.
In the haze of sex, the overloading of the nerves in just one spot only seemed to further stack on top of eachother in a salacious torture. It felt so good, it was starting to burn. Instead of trying to coax him off the spot, the flexing and twitching of his own neck muscles only seemed to become more and more inviting.
Ultimately, you tried licking a stripe up the same artery in Dan Heng's neck, rewarded with a delicious squeak. His teeth caught on your skin, only further amplifying the dizzying haze and spin that seemed to capture the rest of the world.
A few short seconds later, he pulled his mouth off your neck just a few sparingly merciful breaths away, “Clohhsseeee, cuhlossseee-” He seized up in another mewl, lower back arching to push himself even closer to your pelvis. “Plehease~ Can I, can I, can I-” With another press of the tip of your dick straight into his prostate, he threw his head back with a scream. Still, determined for some kind of permission, he opened his mouth to keep babbling impossibly loud, “can I, can I, canicanican-”
Eyes shut as you sped up to chase your own orgasm, you finally nodded your head in the crook of his neck. “Yes, yes, yes-”
He keened at the go ahead, once again rushing to bury his nose against the abused, purpled, and irritated skin on the side of your neck. Instead of continuing to suck more and more hickies into the canvas laid before him, he opened his mouth wide before injecting his extremely long, needle-like fangs deep into the side of your neck, just barely missing one of the most crucial arteries in your body. The taste of your blood hitting his tongue caused another loud squeal to spill from his lips before he got impossibly tighter and creamed all over both of your stomachs.
You seized up, hips stuttering from the sudden all-consuming pain stemming from your injury before unloading into his awaiting body. In your shock, you couldn't even think about how to ask him what just happened. Even then, you weren't sure you wanted to know.
As the two of you laid there, sweaty and spent, he continued to nurse the wound with the gentle ticklish touch of his forked tongue. Two large, heavily bleeding openings in your neck, he nuzzled up against like they were all he had left.
What your knowledge failed to encompass, Dan Heng’s instincts didn't fail to fawn over. Something the two of you hadn't covered in your research were the mating rituals of the Vidyadhara. Three things were of specific relevance.
One, Vidyadharas mate for life, and the span of multiple lives should time and memory allow it.
Two, mating must be done with permission.
Three, mating is officiated with a mark in a visible area, popularly the neck.
He ran his fingers over the dripping red pouring from the side of your neck. A happy trill resounded from the back of his throat as he lapped it up with his tongue again, drinking in the groan of discomfort and the explosive shivers that wracked your body.
...
...Perhaps it would also be important to mention, mating marks were permanent.
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There's a note on the side of the phone booth, read it?
" every time I say I'm going to update the same day, I end up either procrastinating or rewriting the same scene 7 times because I can't figure out what I want to happen specifically "
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THIS IS A REPOSTED WORK FROM MY ORIGINAL ACCOUNT BEFORE IT CRAPPED AND DIED ON ME
I USED TO BE FOUND AT @steadybear
I FEAR YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH SEEING @bigtedbear INSTEAD FROM NOW ON
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yukipri · 1 year ago
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Clone File: Morbs (YukiPri OC)
Basic info:
Name: Morbs Number Designation: CC-4413 Generation: 1 (0.9) Rank/Title: Chief Mortician of the GAR, Kamino Chief Mortuary Trainer (former) GAR Affiliation: Entire GAR, primarily stationed with the 212th Attack Battalion Character status: YukiPri Original Character
Disclaimer: Morbs' story will likely make more sense if you've read The Prime Override, as he's introduced with context in this fic. He will also make more sense if you've read about the other 2 clone medics mentioned in this file, Ashe and Stabber.
Backstory beneath cut!
Overview:
Clone morticians are specialists even among medics. Every clone medic knows the basics of how to care for the deceased, but in war, priority must always go to the living. As such, it is common to find only one clone mortician per star destroyer or permanent GAR base, with greater numbers stationed in Tipoca City or various Republic medical centers.
Morbs, or CC-4413, is considered the Chief of this group of medical specialists. He is the originator of the division, and was assigned to develop both the position and the training curriculum of clone morticians in tandem with Ashe’s primary medical training.
Prior to the start of the Clone Wars and through the early war period, Morbs oversaw the Tipoca City Primary Clone Morgue, which processed all clone bodies. There, he managed biopsies, distribution of cadavers, and the care and processing of all of the bodies of his deceased brothers. He also trained other clone morticians who had completed general medical training prerequisites and were approved by Ashe, as well as future Chief Medical Officers who were required to have completed hands-on training time in the morgue to earn their certifications.
Morbs would have been content to remain in this morgue for life, but as the main body of the GAR prepared for deployment, it became clear that the number of bodies being processed on Kamino would plummet. Morbs was reassigned to the front lines, where his expertise would see more active use, leaving his morgue behind in the hands of his assistants. He primarily travels with the 212th Attack Battalion, but frequently visits medical centers and goes where he is needed.
Background:
Morbs was one of five Generation 0.9 CCs selected by Nala Se to begin the development of the clone medical track. While all subsequent medics are CTs, the Generation 0.9 CCs underwent manual age acceleration, putting them physically ahead of their Generation 1 peers in chronological age. Morbs and his fellow CCs were test subjects used to establish the start of the medical specialization path before their younger brothers were of age to begin that training.
As CCs, they are overqualified for the general medical training that Nala Se is building, and Nala Se quickly turns to using them for other experiments as well. Their unique position as the first experimental medical clones gives Nala Se more oversight over them than any other clones, with far less supervision as well. They are “her” clones to test as she pleases.
In the depths of her labs, Nala Se conducts experiments that she had been banned from conducting on standard troopers by the contract with the Prime Clone, Jango Fett. Morbs later learns that these tests would be considered “torture,” and are illegal in the Republic. He and his brothers are tested for the physical limits that clones can reach, including tolerance for exposure to various stimulants such as heat or chemicals, as well as sensory limits such as their maximum threshold for pain. She also experiments with the potential for building up tolerance and even immunity to various drugs and poisons. She takes all of the data she gains and incorporates them into the medical training for the clones—thus, ensuring that her tests still fall under the scope of “developing medical training.”
Two of the five CCs perish as a result of these experiments. Ashe is ordered to decommission the third when he fails to meet Nala Se’s standards. This leaves Morbs and Ashe as the only survivors of their initial group. They cannot speak of their experiences to anyone else, as Nala Se is the only other witness. Not even Kote knows what they experienced. Between the two of them though, they can never forget that their senior medical positions were earned with blood.
Morbs has always been a quiet but keen observer, and knew from early on that Ashe has reasons for wanting to be in the medical track, and that this is a path that he’s chosen and is motivated to push through. Morbs is brought into the Ghosts’ plans relatively early, and having had the most first-hand experience seeing just what Ashe’s position entails, he wishes he could do more to help his brother. However, Morbs is also realistic, and knows that he doesn’t have the same passion and dedication driving him. He does what he can, but he can’t see himself being the medics’ leader that Ashe is. He feels guilty for not being able to offer to take Ashe’s place, when he’s the only one in a position who could. He tries to make up for it by loyally following him, and doing what he can as a supporter.
In addition to not having the drive, Morbs also feels he is cursed with misfortune. While he excels as a medic and not even Nala Se can find anything lacking in his record, most of the patients that Morbs touches seem to end up dead for reasons unrelated to his skills as a medic.
He’s assigned to oversee a group of cadets, who end up having a fatal genetic mutation that gives them all heart attacks while he’s on observation. The wing with patients that he oversees collapses due to an architectural problem, and they all die. He’s conducting a surgery, when the power goes out, and he’s unable to save his patient with the tools he has available. He tends to some brothers, who leave his exam room fine, but are killed in a training accident a few hours later. He’s assigned to take over a simple check up, and finds his patient already dead before he enters the room.
Every additional incident makes him increasingly uncomfortable with working with living patients. He knows he has the skills, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because most of his patients end up dead anyway. Statistically, it’s not impossible, but after a certain point it’s certainly improbable, and yet it continues to happen. Clones are rarely superstitious, as they have no cultural basis for it, but Morbs feels that there’s something absurdly wrong with the amount of death that seems to follow him everywhere.
He only feels that he’s safe for his brothers when working with those already dead. He can’t kill them if they’re dead before they’re even assigned to him. When Nala Se announces that a new mortuary sub-track will be added to the primary medical track, Morbs dives for it because he can’t think of a better position for himself. If death follows him, he might as well embrace it.
As he and Ashe are given more access to resources including those from outside of Kamino to help them develop their respective training curriculums, Morbs finds himself increasingly interested in not just the practical aspects of death, but also the more cultural and spiritual elements as well. It’s sparked by his own unluckiness and wondering if others have experienced the same, but is fed by his curiosity when he realizes that most nat-born cultures have different ways of processing death and grief that are deeply engrained in how they handle their dead. Nat-born lives are for the most part extremely foreign and utterly irrelevant to anything clones will likely ever experience, but death is almost universal. Morbs finds this fascinating.
The clones are brusquely told that they “march on,” when they die, as Mandalorians do. But why? Where do they march to, with whom? What is waiting there? If that is the inevitable eventual fate of all of them, regardless of Ashe’s or Kote’s efforts, shouldn’t it perhaps be Morbs’ job as the Chief Mortician to at least consider what happens after?
While Morbs has no answers for the afterlife, he certainly has many thoughts, which he shares with the silent cadavers who he works with. It seems like they can hear him, he thinks, for all that none of his words are spoken out loud.
While sitting in on a Ghosts meeting as they develop code words for their growing underground organization, Morbs mentions off-hand that their brothers who are dead, but aren’t, are, “Marching on to join Kote.”
It’s not his fault that their overseers failed to really explain what “marching on” means, nor really instill any true understanding of “glory” either. So if they choose to define it for themselves, with “marching on” meaning to join their other brothers (who may or may not be dead), and “glory” as fighting for their brothers, something tangible that they actually understand and care for…well. They are, after all, supposed to die for the glory of the Republic anyway. No one will question the language.
While most of Morbs’ brothers are exceedingly practical, and must be, Morbs finds his niche in thinking about the not practical. If having ways of respecting and mourning the dead helps all other sentients, why shouldn’t it help them too? Morbs experiments with how he thinks their dead should be treated, and the bodies in his morgue are, as always, his silent audience.
He grows to consider the dead bodies in the morgue “his men” in “his army.” After all, those who are also marked dead, but are actually just with the Ghosts, are also allowed to “consider serving” despite being equally dead on record. And are not the bodies that he repurposes to hide the missing bodies, the dead whose organs and limbs save the lives of their living brothers, not also serving their brothers? Just because they were unlucky, like Morbs, doesn’t mean that they aren’t still being helpful, aren’t still actively saving their brothers. Because that’s all what any of them want to do: help each other.
Morbs assigns himself their Commander, as he is in charge of them, cares for them, and directs their “campaigns.” The rows of cold lockers that house their bodies are “barracks.” He talks to them, praises their missions, and grieves for them when they finally march on to their second deaths via cremation, only after which they are truly gone.
While none of Morbs’ students go to quite the same level as Morbs himself in humanizing their deceased brothers, he makes sure that all of them leave his morgue with a firm understanding that even when dead, their brothers are still their brothers. Pieces of his ideology and treatment of bodies linger in all of the medics who handle their dead.
Morbs treats the dead as his men because he wants them to be able to live on just a bit longer, but admittedly that’s not all. It’s something that also helps with his guilt over not being able to assist Ashe in his decommissionings. He can’t stop those deaths any more than Ashe can, and he can’t even share in the pain of murdering them. But he can promise them, and can promise Ashe, that once their bodies leave Ashe’s blood-stained hands, that Morbs will welcome them gently to his morgue. That they’ll be treated tenderly, with humanity, and that their existences won’t mean nothing. That if they’re capable of it, Morbs will do whatever he can to ensure that they too can serve Kote before their bodies are gone.
Morbs likes to think it offers Ashe some comfort.
General Info:
Most clones have only ever heard of Morbs, who is extremely elusive. Even after deployment, he rarely leaves the morgue wing attached to medical. Whereas Ashe feels a complicated mixture of self-loathing and knowing that he’s unwelcome in other spaces because all other clones loathe him too, Morbs is simple. He likes being with his men, they’re his favorite group of clones. The living get plenty of attention amongst each other. He just is happier with his own men, and prioritizes giving them his own attention.
He’s eccentric and more than a little creepy, but his reputation means that many of his brothers are very curious about him. He has a strict “no one alive past this line” rule at the entrance of the morgue, with very few exceptions, so not even those who try to catch a glimpse of him while visiting medical have much luck. Spotting him outside the morgue is both like an exciting cryptid sighting, but also potentially a bad luck omen. Morbs is oblivious to the excitement his presence causes, as he’s usually just in a rush to get back to the morgue.
Morbs is so mysterious that only a very limited handful of his brothers knows how truly odd his habits are. He has an assigned bunk, but ignores it and sleeps in a specially padded cold locker so that he can “sleep in the barracks with his men.” He calls it his favorite bunk, and tells the other medics he wants to rest there when he one day inevitably dies. He will sometimes forget to take care of himself, ignoring his own living needs to eat, drink, exercise, hygiene, etc. until a medic, usually Stabber, drags him out of the morgue to handle it. Stabber thinks Morbs is an example of how truly unfair their genetic enhancements are, because Morbs somehow maintains his solid CC-class physique with essentially zero effort on his part.
Unlike Ashe, who wants to be out in the field, Morbs never wants to leave his morgue for anything. Once he has been relocated into the morgue on the Negotiator, he only steps out when absolutely necessary. He doesn’t want to see the sights of the outside galaxy, doesn’t want to see the people or try the foods. He thinks all air outside of the morgue that is not optimized for the preservation of clone bodies is distasteful. He especially hates heat, sunlight, and humidity, insisting that it will “cause us to decay faster.”
The one exception to this is if there is a morgue, funeral, cemetery, or something else death-related going on. He learned about other cultures’ death practices, and he’s admittedly still curious about them too, mostly in the context of whether there’s anything else he can do to improve the experience for his men. If the ship is planetside and there’s supposed to be a famous cemetery, he might be seen quickly slinking outside, face completely veiled to avoid exposure to the elements.
Relationships:
Morbs maintains a close relationship with Ashe, though it’s one he’ll rarely show in front of others, always maintaining a professional distance if they have company. But Ashe is the only living person that Morbs will seek out for company, always while Ashe is alone. Morbs is the only one who knows the extent of what Ashe suffered during his early training, and had experienced much of it with him. He is concerned about Ashe, but doesn’t offer medical help, as he feels Stabber does that enough, and he doesn’t trust himself to think of Ashe as a patient; that never ends well. He will instead offer Ashe silent company.
Morbs claims to despise Stabber, especially since he’s the one responsible for taking him away from his morgue on Tipoca City and forcing him onto a star destroyer. Because Stabber is the CMO of the 212th, prior to Ashe joining them, Morbs is forced to interact with him the most. Morbs doesn’t like Stabber because he considers the other medic, “far too alive.” Stabber’s high energy, movement, and noise levels all grate on Morbs’ preference for stillness and darkness. Still, he reluctantly respects Ashe’s former assistant’s skills as a medic, and will follow his orders.
He also won’t admit it, but Stabber was the one who gave him his name. Stabber had a habit of announcing that Ashe’s work buddy “has the morbs,” a phrase he’d picked up from one of Ashe’s training resources that he claims means “has emo vibes.” Stabber liked the sound of the word so much that he began shouting it every time he encountered Morbs, and it ended up sticking. Morbs pretends he doesn’t care, but secretly thinks it’s fitting.
On the other hand, Morbs has a surprisingly amicable relationship with the Jedi he interacts with most frequently, Obi-Wan. He was very leery of letting Obi-Wan come anywhere near the morgue, not trusting an outsider with his delicate men who are unable to defend themselves. However, Obi-Wan found Morbs’ ruminations and philosophies fascinating, and was easily able to bait him into a conversation by expressing interest. Despite being surrounded by war, Morbs often seems strangely detached from it, preferring to speak less about the realities of war and the gears that move it, and more about why various cultures frame death and the afterlife in certain ways. While the conversations are often melancholy in nature, Obi-Wan appreciates the strange normalcy of it, knowing that Morbs would likely have these same questions regardless of whether there was a war. Morbs likewise is invested in hearing about death traditions from an outside perspective.
While the other clones aboard the Negotiator were at first both morbidly fascinated by Morbs, they were discouraged from actually interacting with him because he says things like, “You should not be in here, unless you are dead. Unless you would like to be dead, in which case I can help you,” or, “Oh, well you don’t look like you’re dying. How unfortunate.” However, they gradually realize that Morbs is not as aloof as he first appears.
He isn’t opposed to speaking, as long as it’s about his men. They realize that while Morbs refuses to let any curious bystanders or unqualified personel enter the morgue for no reason, he’s always eager to learn more about those in his care. Clones who have lost brothers can always count on him wanting to hear about the deceased, and if they’re present in his morgue, Morbs may even allow them to visit. When the first clone brings Morbs some flowers, because he saw that some nat-borns planet-side were laying flowers by the graves of their lost loved ones, Morbs is tickled by the action. Clones are not granted proper graves, and those in Morbs’ morgue are still “on duty.” But Morbs creates a little sterilized shrine in a corner of medical close to the morgue, where he collects these offerings and allows his brothers to visit. If the tablet Morbs laid there is turned a certain way, Morbs knows that one of his brothers wishes to speak to him about someone deceased, and he slinks out of the morgue to listen to them.
Because Morbs is the Chief Mortician, he not only processes the bodies that pass in front of his own hands, but he obsessively goes over the reports sent to him by all other clone morticians and standard clone medics, who are in charge of marking all final fatalities. As such, he has the most comprehensive knowledge of all deceased clones. On the rare occasions that they are able to conduct larger, collective remembrances, if Morbs is available, he will often be called to lead them.
Obi-Wan observes that Morbs is acting almost like a priest or other religious leader, but Morbs scoffs at the idea. He has no intention of leading a religion; he just cares about his men.
And all of the clones will join his army, one day.
Appearance:
Morbs wears a modified version of the clone mortician uniform, a black version of the standard softshell white medic uniform. As the Chief Mortician, Morbs wears a longer knee-length version of the uniform, along with a black kama over it to signify his CC status. He also has a rank bar, and red shoulder pieces to show his personal training from Nala Se, like Ashe and Omega. He technically has armor, but he’s never worn most of it since his fitting, and he doesn’t plan on wearing it either. His men serve without wearing armor, so why should he? If the ship is ever boarded, he intends on going down with his men in the morgue, a plan that no one will allow him to follow through on.
The one piece of armor he does occasionally wear is his helmet, which is a black version of Ashe’s. He must occasionally process bodies that have been exposed to hazardous conditions, and in these cases, he’ll don his helmet for its filtration and advanced sensors. He is so utterly uninterested in his own armor that it was left unpainted, and Ashe decided to paint it black for him, so it can match Morbs’ aesthetic preferences. While Morbs never acknowledged the gesture, he shows his appreciation by not protesting when he’s told to wear it.
After leaving Kamino, he grows his hair long and wears it loosely tied back, because as a non-combatant, he isn’t limited to practical hair styles. The exact length changes constantly as he uses his own hair to create wigs and patches for any of his men who may have had their own hair damaged. He refuses to share his hair with anyone who isn’t dead.
He also gets tattooed, two dark lines dripping down his cheeks from his eyes. He saw nat-borns with the look in some funerary documentaries he watched as a cadet. He doesn’t know that what he saw was nat-borns with running makeup, but he likes the look because it looks like a trail of permanent black tears on his face. He takes it to be a metaphor that he is always thinking of his men.
Morbs also has deep permanent bags under his eyes. This is due to a mix of him constantly forgetting that he needs sleep, along with him not wanting to sleep because he has so many thoughts to ponder.
While he usually just wears his uniform, he has a veil that he throws over his head whenever he has to step outside of the ship or Republic medical facility for any length of time. He also has an ornamental headdress he’s fashioned for special occasions, such as when he has to welcome an exceptionally large number of men to his army, is conducting a field cremation, or is leading a remembrance. The headdress is created from shards of plastoid armor he’s had to pull from his men.
Note:
Morbs’ designation, CC-4413, was chosen because the number 4 means “death” in many Asian cultures, due to how it sounds similar to “death” in many Asian languages, including but not limited to my own Japanese/Chinese cultures. Tetraphobia, or the fear of the number 4, is a thing! The number Thirteen is an unlucky number in other cultures. The number “4413” felt fitting for this character who is so immersed in death and bad luck!
~~
Related links:
Clone File on Ashe
Clone File on Stabber
OR
Read them all on AO3
~~
PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. To share, please reblog! Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!!!
❀ You can see the rest of my art through the Masterpost pinned to the top of my blog!
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bratbarzal · 4 months ago
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On Your Side (NH13) / Prologue
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Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen
WC: 13k
Chapter Warnings: angst, miscommunication, ghosting? maybe, some cursing, mentions of OC having nephews (gross), being broken up with over a text, allusions to anxiety, my oc being argumentative and avoidant (she's me), and nico also being avoidant and a poor communicator (he's a man) (he's also a capricorn) (sorry capricorns)
Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.
Series Masterlist
A/N: is a 13k prologue excessive? probably. is the mixture of tenses in this part going to grind your gears? most definitely. am I going to do anything about it? no.
I've never actually published any writing before so go easy on the girl. if I need to tag any warnings just let me know. if you like the fic let me know. if you don't like the fic I beg you I'm having a bad month spare meeeeee.
TW for british english spellings because shock horror I am unfortunately british, get used to u's and s's where you least expect them, I will change my spell check settings for no one!! nico's facebook aunt shenanigans have lit a fire within me today and I was writing a later chapter for this fic and thinking if I don't actually put this out into the world I never will so here we are hi my name is maggie I hope you enjoy
Poppy
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New Years has always been Poppy Jensen’s favourite holiday. The dwindling aftermath of Christmas - lights and decorations still hung throughout the city, everyone decked in the hats, scarves and ugly sweaters gifted by distant relatives over the Christmas period, and the six days of limbo usually spent drinking and eating copious amounts of leftovers before the new year, new me resolutions kick in - and experiencing it all in her hometown surrounded by the people she loves the most, there is no other time like it.
This year, she feels like the festive period has been one, long, strung-out horror show. 
Self-inflicted, of course, like all the other tragedies of her life, she does know she only has herself to blame for how pathetic it has turned out.
She had prepared herself for Christmas to be a dud. The one time of the year that she and her family put aside their differences, and this year she had opted out - or, so her mother had dramatically concluded; she actually just had work commitments. But, this would be her first spent alone due to the fact her parents had decided to go and visit her older brother, Oliver, and his family in San Francisco.
They didn’t have to fly across the country - Oliver has more than enough money to book his clan on a flight back to his home state, but obviously as the golden child, the Jensen’s must bend to his every whim. Of course, Poppy had been invited. Her relationship with her brother wasn’t mutually acrimonious, but the aforementioned work commitments got her out of that bore-fest. 
She does love her brother. Sometimes. Christmas, especially - he’s a great and expensive gift-giver. And she loves his wife, Kimberley, and their two sons - her nephews, James and Lucas - but spending the holidays with them would have been a lot. Her family is hard work on the best of days, and the only reason Christmas is ever bearable is because her mother hires help, and it’s impossible for the stress train to leave the station if Priscilla Jensen is given enough wine early enough in the day to dull her usual wicked demeanour. 
Kimberley, God bless her soul, maintains a sober house, and Poppy, as much as she respects this, would not go anywhere near that train wreck if you paid her a million dollars.
There’s also the fact that the holidays were invented to unwind, and Poppy somehow always gets lumped on nephew duty. She had long grown out of her boys are gross phase, but lord, do those two try everything in their power to bring it back. She has lost count of the amount of their bodily fluids she has had wiped all over her best clothes over the years. If she had agreed to fly out, she no doubt would have ended up being the one to watch the kids while everyone else had their version of a good time, and so she’d successfully managed to avoid all that with a half-assed promise of visiting at Easter, instead.
Her brother hadn’t been too upset - one less place setting at the table for him to worry about - but her mother had been livid, and there was no chance Poppy would live it down without owing her.
God forbid she, as an adult, actually got to choose how to spend her time.
She hadn’t actually been completely alone on Christmas, not all day, at least. Her best friend Nia had invited her to eat with her and her dad, but they were hardly putting her in the festive spirit with their constant snipes at each other, and so she’d given herself stomach ache stuffing herself full of corn bread and roasted carrots and dipped out to make it home for the Giants game - because there’s no better tradition than watching your team lose on Christmas Day. At least she wasn’t there to watch her dad and brother yell at the TV and get all grumpy for hours after the fact. 
She’d watched Love Actually with mulled wine in hand and fallen asleep on the couch - waking up in the middle of the night to the muffled sound of her neighbours screaming at each other through the walls. 
Poppy had the 26th off, and spent the day preparing her apartment for New Years, knowing she wouldn’t have any other opportunity to get her big clean done. She’d cleared out half her wardrobe - done several loads of laundry so that she could donate clean clothes to the women’s shelter a few blocks over - rid her kitchen of all the outdated tinned foods in the backs of her cupboards, dusted every surface, vacuumed every floor, colour-coded her bookshelf to look more aesthetically pleasing and then within an hour put it back in alphabetical order - all in a day’s work. 
By the time the 27th rolled around, and she had to return to work, she had tired herself out completely. She had been drained, and the worst part of it all, she didn’t even actually need to be there.
Sure, December was a crazy time to work in the NHL, their schedule unrelenting when the season got into full-swing, and the holiday events that Poppy’s team had to organise seemed never ending, but she had technically been given limbo-week off. Not that her mother had to know.
The Youth Foundation team had all wrapped up work for the year on the 23rd, and if Poppy was a truly good daughter/sibling/aunt, she would have booked herself on a red-eye after the home win that evening, but the second the opportunity to accept an actual real excuse not to change her plans arose, she took it with open arms. Her guilt of lying to her family diminished, along with her will to live at the fact she had - self-inflicted, as always - put herself down to work her favourite time of the year.
Her career with the New Jersey Devils had started with an internship in her final year of college. She had worked with the digital content department for her first year, quickly being sniped by the Foundation in the middle of her second year and working her way past content creation to helping co-ordinate and run some of the community events.
When her friend Jessica had approached Poppy and begged for her to cover her spot in the department they had started out together in for limbo-week, spending it with the team at their games, she had jumped at the bit. She knew no one else would agree to work last minute after having their time off approved, and was pleased to relay to her mom that she had to prove herself as a team player if she wanted more responsibility at work. It was all in the name of bumping up her performance and getting her name out there, and definitely not avoiding her family and that whole shit-show.
Poppy loves her job, and is more than happy with her career, but she could sing about it until the cows come home and her parents could not care less. They rarely ever acknowledged her successes because her life didn’t fit the mould they had set out for her - another reason she hadn’t wanted to spend this Christmas hounded with questions of why don’t you come work for your dad? Or why didn’t you accept the interview Ollie so kindly got for you? She doesn’t want a non-sensical, nothing job made up to keep her under her family’s influence. She has forged her own path, one that many dream of in one of the biggest industries in the country, and no matter how much she disappointed her parents in comparison to her lackey brother, she is content with where she is.
She had completely forgotten, however, that the devils played away on the 29th and 30th, and if she was going to be tagging along with the bare-bones limbo week media crew, there was no way in hell she was getting out of joining the team’s New Years celebrations. 
She had done her fair share of dodging team events already this year, and despite the fact she could appease most of her friends within the organisation, there was one person who would not let her off so easy.
This year is Jack Hughes’ first year hosting the big Devils New Years party - he’d, in her opinion, stupidly volunteered pretty much last minute after the venue the team had booked flooded in November and cancelled their reservation - and he would not let Poppy get out of coming, even if that meant scuppering her own annual tradition of getting shit-faced with her girls in their perfectly planned New Jersey bar crawl.
She’d done her best work to convince him - had almost sold him on the dream - she and her best friend, Nia, always start at the bar below Nia’s apartment in Hoboken, and then dot to the bars closest to their other friends apartments until they end up by Poppy’s, which has the perfect little rooftop set up where they get to watch all the fireworks across the Hudson. It’s how she’s spent the holiday every year since she and all her girls turned 21, and it was her favourite day, her favourite way to ring in a new year with her best friends in her favourite place in the world. 
Jack’s argument was that he also had a great view across the Hudson from his Jersey City apartment, and that she was less likely to catch hypothermia this year because his view came through floor to ceiling windows and the luxury of central heating.
She’d tried to argue that she had all intentions of meeting her future husband on her adventures through New Jersey, and he gave the quick rebuttal that he had plenty of single friends she was yet to meet. 
There was no excuse she could give that he couldn’t counteract, and so she’d eventually given up with the resolution that when he is 3 drinks deep, Jack Hughes can barely remember his own name, let alone keep tabs on where Poppy is, or if she ever showed up in the first place. She can always just say she’s running late until he stops asking.
And then she’d somehow gotten roped into helping him set up. 
Jack had cornered her on their flight home from Boston, where they had just lost to the Bruins and, all of a sudden, no one was in any kind of mood to party.
“I swear,” he had said, throwing himself down into the vacant seat beside her as she attempted to clear her inbox on the short journey, swiping away messages and storing others to review when work started back up in the next week, “If I mess up this party, and my name goes down in Devils history tied to the biggest depression session this team have ever seen, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
“How the hell would that be my fault?” She had scoffed, kicking at his feet when he had tried to man-spread next to her and they had quite abruptly knocked knees. The staff seats toward the front of the plane weren’t quite as spacious as the player seats further back.
“You brought some serious negative energy with you on this trip,” he shrugged, reaching for the bag of skittles she had stashed in the pocket on the seat in front of her and stealing a handful, “And I can’t blame you for us losing, so I’m gonna blame you for constantly trying to abandon my event and making me feel so insecure about it that it turned into a complete bore-fest because I didn’t have my literal professional event planner friend to help me set it all up.”
Jack Hughes had joined the New Jersey Devils at the same time Poppy had started her internship. There had been some corny ice breaker session for everyone new to the organisation that season, and they’d bonded over their shared love for country music. He’d become dependent on her as a local to the area for recommendations for everything - food, sports bars, coffee, grocery shopping, running routes - and they’d quickly developed a friendship that had lasted them thus far. No fallouts, no drama, no issues. Being friends with Jack is easy. 
Poppy is older by near enough 18 months, and considers him as close to a little brother as she will ever find - annoying, teasing, loud and somewhat of a know-it-all, but he cares deeply, and he’s loyal, honest and open with her, and she loves him for it.
“I’ve done my part even helping you plan the thing,” she had to snatch the bag back from him before he finished the skittles off, needing the sugar to keep her awake for the quick drive home when they landed. Jack had been on her back about this party since he had first put his name in the hat to host, and she had been gracious, helping him arrange food, drinks, decorations and DJ equipment in the hopes it would lessen the blow that she didn’t want to attend. “I didn’t bring negative energy.”
“Do I have to kidnap you when we deplane or are you gonna come around tomorrow morning and help me?”
“Kidnap me?” she couldn’t help but laugh, casting a quick measured glance over his figure. “Real cute, Jack, you’re nothing without your stick.”
“I could take you.” He attempted to throw a skittle up into the air and catch it in his mouth, not accounting for the fact they were on a moving, somewhat turbulent plane, and he barely had enough finesse to pull that off on the ground. The candy landed and bounced off his cheekbone, and he watched it fall to the floor with a child-like pout. 
“It’s fighting talk like that that would lose you another tooth, Hughesy,” she had threatened in jest. 
“I’m a middle child, I don’t start fights I can’t finish, Popcorn.” He also has a track record of giving Poppy the worst nicknames she has ever heard in her entire 24 years on this Earth. “Luke’s already said he’ll help me on the kidnapping front, we have a plan.”
“Your plan is nothing without incentive, Jack. You come at me with weak threats when you could just offer me something in return.”
“Like what?” His eyes narrowed toward her, shuffling in the seat until he was facing her fully. 
“I want to bring Nia.” If she was going to be subjected to this, she was bringing back up - and she had thought this would be a good trade, knowing how protective the boys were of their private events, especially those thrown in their own homes.
Poppy hadn’t liked the way his lips curved up immediately, like she had fallen straight into his trap. “Done.” She should have known better. He stood up, edging back into the aisle and sending her a wink. “I’ll text you details on when and where I need you. Your hot friend is more than welcome to offer a hand, too.”
And that is how Poppy has ended up spending the day of New Years Eve, her favourite day of the year, rushing to set up Jack Hughes’ apartment. 
Her first task had been to go round to Jack’s and accept the deliveries that came while he and Luke were out picking up the decks for the DJ. Drinks arrived by the crateful, the boxes of paper plates, cups and other table wears took her several trips up and down from Jack’s apartment to the building lobby until she broke out in a sweat, and she had done her best to hang all the decorations, her last call being to pick up the bigger decoration delivery from downstairs.  
Poppy, with the help of Lionel, the building’s concierge, loads the elevator full of decor, ranging from golden helium balloons that spell out ‘Happy New Year’ and ‘2024’, a large roll that should hopefully unravel to reveal a backdrop for a makeshift photo-booth, as well as a deconstructed balloon arch that gave her PTSD from the amount of events at the Rock she’d had to put them together.
Lionel offers to come up with her to help unload everything upstairs, but the thought of cramming another person in there with all the stuff makes her feel claustrophobic, so she politely declines - though, when the elevator doors open and she bumps face first into a firm chest, her nose smushing against a khaki t-shirt she wishes she had someone else with her to buffer the tension that stiffens her spine. 
A large, calloused hand wraps around her upper arm to steady her, and another reaches out to keep the doors of the elevator from closing in on where she stands. She looks up into eyes swirled with the colour of warm, melted chocolate, and her throat feels just the slightest bit drier than it had 5 seconds ago.
“Hey,” Nico Hischier’s voice is deep, scratchy like he’s just woken up - he probably has given how late the team got in last night - and trickles down in static currents from her ears to the base of Poppy’s back. 
She takes a short, startled step back, and gulps down the dryness in her throat before she gives a quick, “Hey,” in response. “Sorry, I’ll just take a second to unload all of this then the elevator is yours.”
“I’ll help,” Nico doesn’t phrase it as a question, as if knowing she would immediately decline. Not, let me help, or do you need help? He’ll just do it. “You get everything out and I’ll take it inside?”
She nods, despite the voice in the back of her head telling her that he’s only helping to get the job done quicker, and be able to get downstairs. She makes a conscious mental effort to drown it out while the two of them work in a silent tandem, her lifting the decorations into the hallway and him towing them down and into Jack’s apartment. 
She makes another conscious effort not to watch when he lifts things, the flex of his arms, the rippling muscles of his shoulders.
“Is that the last of it?” He asks, gesturing to the rolled up backdrop leaning on the side of the elevator and propping it open. 
“Yeah, but I got it,” Poppy gives a tight smile, lifting the roll but staying in place so the doors don’t close behind her and she doesn’t get stuck any longer in Nico’s presence on her own. “Thanks for helping.”
There used to be a time she couldn’t get enough of being around Nico, but those days are long gone.There is a permanent frigidity between them now - it’s been there since the summer just gone - and she’s overstimulated enough having spent her morning being Jack’s lackey while he no doubt slacks off with his brother grabbing brunch out. Her patience is beyond wearing thin, and so the last thing she needs is prolonged contact with the Devils captain where she will no doubt end up blowing up and making everything worse.
No one wants to ring in the new year with an almighty fallout.
She can’t help the frown that befalls her features when he makes no effort to occupy the elevator. He makes no effort to do anything, only looking at Poppy with a pensive pout. “Jack said I should come help you out.”
Of course he did, she thinks.
For the past four months, Jack Hughes has been acting like it’s his greater purpose in life to bring Nico and Poppy back together - like the demise of their friendship was the greatest personal inconvenience he has ever faced in his life. 
He has orchestrated one too many ‘accidental’ run-ins just like this one, and Poppy isn’t going to entertain his childish games any longer.
Nico doesn’t want to be her friend - she knows this for a fact - so Jack’s schemes are becoming a waste of everyone’s time.
“I’m alright, Nia’s on her way, you don’t have to hang around.”
Nia was due at Jack’s apartment two hours ago, but is no doubt still asleep after she was out last night for her pre-New Years celebrations. She’ll come over soon enough, though, and so Poppy doesn’t feel entirely deflated to turn down help she actually might currently need.
“I don’t mind waiting until she gets here.” Nico shrugs, again not giving her a natural opportunity to say no. He nods towards the apartment, gesturing for Poppy to start making her way over. “We both know she won’t take the stairs.”
Something about the way he so casually recalls information about her best friend plucks at her nerves, just a little, reflective of the part of their lives they had once shared with each other like it was nothing, but she shrugs it off, beginning to head towards the apartment with the roll tucked under her arm.
“I thought New Years was your favourite holiday?” He asks once they’re both inside, the sound of the door clicking shut behind him and somewhat trapping her in his presence echoing throughout the room. He doesn’t allow for any kind of prolonged silence between the two of them. If Nico Hischier is good at anything, it’s getting people to talk to him.
It’s not entirely that she doesn’t want to talk to him.
She does.
She’s wanted to talk to him every day for the past 4 months that they hadn’t talked - has been craving even mundane, casual conversation about the weather or traffic on the way into work, but now, as he yet again indifferently recollects such personal details about her as if they have remained close, she begins to feel uneasy.
“It is,” she gives a half-hearted, dismissive response. 
“Then why are you all grumpy?”
“I’m not.” She frowns, eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing as she turns to face him, the lie tasting bitter on her tongue.  
She’s not trying to be difficult. Or maybe she is. She is in a particularly bad mood, but she had thought she’d done a good job at masking it. He’d been around her all of 2 minutes and saw right through her. 
“Jack said you’ve been off all morning.”
Like he cares, she thinks, her mood souring further at the fact he doesn’t see through her or even care at all, he’s here at the request of someone else. Following up on his duties as a captain and fulfilling a favour for one of his actual friends.
Embarrassment floods the pit of her stomach, and rears its ugly head in the form of her biting tone when she replies, “Jack’s been out all morning, how would he know?”
“He left you to do all this on your own?” Nico frowns, gesturing around to the half-way set up apartment. All that’s left to do aside from put up the decorations she’s just lugged up is set up the food and drinks, and Poppy figured she could leave that task to Jack so that it all remained fresher for longer. 
“I do this kind of thing for a living, remember?”
She cringes inwardly at the venom in her voice, turning away from him with a huff and missing the way his posture deflates. 
“You run events, Poppy, you’re not an assistant.” She can hear his heavy footsteps follow as she moves to set up the photo-booth area. “If I’d known he had you running after him all morning, I’d have-,”
“Called someone else to come help me so you could carry on avoiding me?”
She really is wound up now. Jack bailing on her to do God-knows what while she sets up his party had been one thing - there was a rational part of her brain that would tell her there would no doubt be hiccups in trying to source a bunch of DJ equipment in New Jersey on New Years Eve and he hadn’t actually bailed - and she could write off Nia’s disappearance due to the fact Poppy had sprung the plans on her last minute when she got home and called her last night, and she was bound to show up at some point. But Nico implying she is letting Jack walk all over her and needs anyone’s help to get through setting up a basic party is downright offensive. At least, in her stressed out state, it is - and so she can’t find it within herself to bite her tongue about their situation any longer.
If it drives him away and brings back her solitude to finish setting up without him occupying any precious mind space, so be it.
She almost forgets a key fact about the man before her. He doesn’t give up so easily.
“I’m not avoiding you.” He bites back, stepping into her space and helping her lift the backdrop roll to fit into the brackets she had set up earlier when the structure for the booth had arrived. “I would have come to help you, myself, Poppy.”
She wishes he would stop saying her name. 
4 months of radio silence and he’s thrown it at her like a dagger twice in the span of 30 seconds, the way his it rolls of his tongue in a low, smooth rasp scratching an itch she didn’t know she had, and now she can’t shake it. 
“I’m fine,” she huffs, reaching as far as she can and pressing until she hears the brackets click into place. At the brief noise, Nico catches on to what he needs to do at his side and manages to click it into place, barely lifting his arms. She moves into the middle of the structure, pulling at the velcro tab holding the roll together until it cascades to the floor and unveils the backdrop in its entirety. 
“What else needs doing?” He asks, his tone gentler this time.
“Nothing,” she mutters, winding the velcro in between her fingers to occupy them, before moving to pass him and make her way to the next task on her list. It’s only small things now. Arranging the balloons, setting up the arch, clearing table space for the equipment when Jack finally arrives home. “You can go, I’ve got it.”
“Mohn,” Nico sighs lowly, warm hand clasping around her forearm as she attempts to pass, holding her in place beside him. 
She really wishes he wouldn’t call her that.
If Jack is the prince of childish monikers that make her insides curl, Nico is the king of making her melt.
The nickname takes her straight back to the days before the waves of the summer break washed their friendship away. The times where he’d give her a ride home from the Prudential Center after work, whispering a, “Goodnight, Mohn,” in her ear as they hugged goodbye over the centre console in the front of his car. The times she’d meet up with the team to celebrate a win at their favourite bar, and he’d throw a never-casual, “Looking good, Mohn,” her way with an appreciative once-over. 
And it takes her even further back to when they had met, and she’d first offered her name.
“I’ll be interning with the content team, my name is Poppy,” she had offered a bright smile, reaching her hand out for him to shake, and making sure to keep a firm grip, just like her father had taught her, when he places his hand in hers. As she had done since she was a child, it was instinctual to follow up with, “Like the flower.”
“Mohnblume,” he had uttered, a smile so deep his cheeks dimpled into deep valleys.
“Huh?” She had been only a little bit caught out by the way his eyes shone, forgetting her manners as her head tilted to the side in confusion.
“Poppy flower, that’s what it is in my language.”
“Oh,” she had exclaimed, furrowed brows raising, a soft flush warming her cheeks, “Pretty!”
“Very.”
She had convinced herself for a long time that it was just his way of remembering - an aid in blurring the lines between the two languages that, especially back then, he often found himself mixed up in. And then, after a while, using it seemed to bring a protected familiarity between them - like an inside joke - and he’d use it less in front of others and more in the times it was just the two of them.
Years down the line from hearing it for the first time, and months down the line from hearing it for the last, her heart still thumps the same erratic beat at the sound.
Nico’s eyes still shine the same way when he looks down at her, and she fights every fibre of her being not to think too much about it. Or not to think about the touch of his hand on her arm, still holding her in place, the two of them closer than they have been in a long time, now.
It’s painfully easy to forget the months of distance after only seconds in his immediate company - to wipe from her memory the reason for her reticence and to push down the stubborn desire to push him away.
Her lips part to speak, and she doesn’t know if she’s about to turn him down or take him in, because another voice fills the apartment before any words get the chance to spill out.
“I come bearing gifts!” A sing-song lull breaks the silence as her best friend makes her presence known, entering the apartment with a drinks carrier in one hand, and a to-go back over the other wrist. 
Poppy steps away, shaking Nico’s grip from her arm, and turns to give Nia her full attention, hoping that she is either too hungover or too focused on herself to see or care about the obvious tension between her and the captain. She manages to bite her tongue from letting a Thank God slip out, and makes her way over to retrieve a much needed drink.
“They were out of chai so I got you an iced tea,” Nia holds out the drink to Poppy, and then the to go bag, “And half a cinnamon roll.”
“Half?”
“What? I was hungry too.” Nia scoffs, turning her attention to the brooding presence on the other side of the room. “Sorry, Nico, I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Would you have only eaten a third if you did?” He trials a joke, and when Poppy sneaks a peak back toward him, he looks apprehensive - scratching at the nape of his neck as if anticipating a bad reaction to his attempt at lighthearted humour.
“I’m sure Poppy doesn’t mind sharing if you’re starving,” Nia makes her way to the bar set up by the kitchen, placing her own cup down and shrugging off her purse beside it. 
“I wouldn’t dream of depriving her of half a cinnamon roll.” While his words are directed to her best friend, Nico looks at Poppy with a wistful smile, and she can practically see the memory of an old shared routine wash over his eyes. 
A weekly ritual of meeting by the PATH station close to both of their apartments on a free morning for a run, and then catching breakfast to go and grab a juice or a smoothie for the walk home - abandoned just like all the other little traditions they once had together.
Nico and Poppy had been close, before. Closer than she is to Jack, now - closer than she’s been to anyone else on the team, ever. So close that Nico knows her best friend enough to joke around with a familiar ease; so close that they’d even hung out as a three before, back when the girls shared an apartment in Poppy’s first year with the Devils, and he had been the only person that Nia had ever been happy to share her childhood friend with. 
And now, Poppy stands between them in a silence so uncomfortable she feels like the room is shaking.
She hasn’t talked to Nico in months, and hasn’t talked about him in just as long, but she knows Nia can read her like a book. 
The girls had grown up together - been through everything side by side, pinky fingers intertwined with an eternal promise of friendship and understanding. The demise of relationships, friendship group implosions, familial hardships, Nia’s goth phase, the time Poppy wrecked her hair dying it a vibrant cherry-red because her high school crush said Ariana Grande was hot - she still shudders thinking of how her hair glowed red in any direct light for years in the aftermath. Through middle school, high school, college, and all the way up until now, the pair know each other inside out.
So Poppy knows that Nia knows something happened.
Nia knows that Poppy hadn’t been able to go a day without bringing up the Swiss Captain before the summer, and then all of a sudden, she didn’t mention him at all. But she also knows her friend well enough and loves her too much not to have pressed on an open wound.
“It looks insane in here, Pop,” Nia gawks at the set up around her, every corner of the open plan layout of Jack’s large apartment decked out with decor and party amenities. “Do you guys go this hard every year?”
“Depends who’s hosting,” Nico shrugs, knowing when it had been his turn the year before, his event had been much more lowkey. Poppy had seen the pictures, had been sent an abundance of wish you were here snapchats around midnight from the Captain himself. Jack has a thing about his reputation that won’t let him even consider doing anything lowkey. “I forgot this would be your first year coming.”
“Oh, we’re not coming.” Poppy covers her mouth as she speaks around a bite of her food, unable to wait until she’d finished her mouthful due to the immediate urge to shut him down once again.
“You’re not?” He almost sounds disappointed. She doesn’t dare check for the furrow of his thick eyebrows or the pout of his lips. “Jack said he’d convinced you.”
A flash of anxiety shoots across her chest at the thought of him considering her attendance. Had he asked Jack? Had he mentioned her specifically - pushed him to convince her? Or had Jack just brought it up in an offhanded comment?
“I just agreed to get him off my back about it.” Her choice of words is only slightly intended to hurt. She and Nico were no longer friends - she hadn’t been the one to make that decision. Despite that fact, she tries to suppress the guilt clawing at the base of her throat at the wash of understanding that passes over his features. A solemn nod, gaze bouncing to the floor, lips pressed together. “We have plans with our friends.”
“Actually,” Nia’s voice captures both their attention swiftly - Poppy’s head whipping around in subtle alarm and Nico’s in anticipation. “Blake’s flight back from Arizona got cancelled, and Kelsey bailed on me last night because she got Covid of all things over Christmas.”
“What about Emma?” Poppy asks, hoping and praying their hermit friend has all of a sudden grown some stellar social skills and agreed to carry on their tradition for the sake of Poppy’s sanity.
“She double booked with her boyfriend, and he’s a huge drip I don’t really wanna hang out with those two all night.” God damn Emma and her tool of a boyfriend, Poppy thinks. “At least if we come here, we’re still close enough to your place we can make it back for fireworks on the roof.”
“We get a great view of them from this building,” Nico makes his presence known again, attempting to offer a solution. “If you didn’t want to walk back home so late.”
“See, Pop,” Nia claps her hands together with a grin, “We get to come to a cool party, don’t have to worry about creeps following us around all night, and still get to hold on to tradition. Win, win, win if you ask me!”
“Right,” Poppy sighs, knowing now that Nia has her heart set on the plan, there’s nothing she can do about it. Any persistence on her part would be too obvious. “Fine.”
“Awesome! What’s left to do?”
Poppy eyes Nico, knowing she’d told him only a few minutes ago that there was nothing left. “Just need to clear a table for the equipment Jack’s getting,”
“Which one?” Nia asks, making her way over with her iced tea in hand once Poppy points toward the table in the corner by the wall-to-wall window. “Are you helping or just standing around looking pretty?” 
Nico’s cheeks flush, a subtle warmth arising to his skin, and he gives a bashful chuckle.
Poppy feels a little nauseous, and it’s not from the sickly sweet half of a pastry she’s just forced down.
Nia’s eyes flicker between the two of them like she’s at a grand slam, and her lips twist to hide a smile.
“I actually need to head out,” he says, gaze darting quickly to Poppy before turning to her best friend, “I have some things I need to do before tonight. It was good to see you, though, Nia.”
Nia hums around the straw of her drink, giving a dismissive wave. “You too, see you later!”
Nico begins towards the door to the apartment, and just before he passes Poppy, he stops. He doesn’t reach for her this time, doesn’t step too close, but she can feel his presence regardless. And every hair on her body stands to attention like she’s been shocked by static when he says, lowly, “I’ll see you tonight, Mohn.”
She can only nod in response, not trusting her voice to speak, not trusting her eyes to look into his and be able to look away. 
After he departs, there are a few minutes of an ear-piercing silence. Poppy can hear every movement Nia makes, from the slurp of her drink, to the manner in which she throws things around with little care for where they end up. And louder than anything, she hears the violent thud of her heartbeat in her own ears.
“So,” Nia drags out when Poppy joins her at the almost empty table. “What the fuck was that?”
“What was what?” Poppy and Nia have known each other fifteen years, she doesn’t know why she hopelessly thought that would work.
“Don’t play dumb,” Nia scoffs, “You and Captain Sexy,”
“There is no me and Nico,”
“But you know who I’m asking about,” she scoffs like she’s caught her best friend out, and then adds, with a suggestive wiggle of her brows, “So you do think he’s sexy?”
“What are you, twelve?” Poppy rolls her eyes, “He’s the only captain we’ve been in a room with, pretty obvious who you were referring to.”
“Admit it, Poppy, I saw the two of you when I came in, you totally wanna jump his bones, you have for as long as you’ve known him.”
“We’re not having this conversation, Ni.”
“The hell we aren’t!” Nia grabs her best friend by the shoulders, “I’ve bitten my tongue for months, Pop, watching you mope around and get all glum whenever work is brought up. I couldn’t get you to shut up about the guy before, what the hell happened between you two?”
“Nothing happened!”
“It totally did!” Nia can spy the aversion Poppy is attempting from miles off. “Don’t tell me you two finally hooked up and you didn’t fill me in,”
“He has a girlfriend, Nia.”
The way Poppy says it is like a period to a sentence. End of conversation. End of speculation. It doesn’t matter what they had been before, or what they are now. It doesn’t matter what she feels. There is no her and Nico because he is someone else’s. That’s the crux of it.
“Since when?” Nia frowns. 
“Since the summer just gone.”
And there it is. Understanding washes over the face of her best friend, and Poppy has to force herself to look away. 
He’d maybe been with her before that, too, but Poppy doesn’t actually know the entire timeline of it.
All she does know is that he’d come back from Switzerland with a drop dead gorgeous model hanging off of his arm, and he no longer had a use for Poppy in his life.
She knows other little bits, that she’d sourced from parts of conversations with others, or potential social media sleuthing that she will never admit to even with a gun to her head.
Talia, a model from somewhere close to home back in Europe, and Nico had hit it off at some festival when he’d gone back to Switzerland for his break. He’d very quickly and very clearly become smitten with her. Poppy had seen as much with her plastered all over his private stories and even posted on his private instagram feed.
By the time he came back to New Jersey for pre-season training camp, she was tagging along to team gatherings, he’d take her on his morning runs, grabbing breakfast together, he’d pick her up every day after work so he could no longer drive Poppy home, not that he’d ever attempted to explain any of that to her. She was at every home game, was his plus one to every event, and Poppy and Nico’s friendship had fizzled out so much that she sometimes feels like the whole thing had been a fantasy, or a figment of her imagination. Something she’d misunderstood, miscalculating every interaction they had ever shared and assuming they meant the same to him as they did to her.
They didn’t.
She doesn’t think any of it would have hurt her so much if he’d have let her down easy. A sorry for bailing on you the first time she’d text him if he wanted to meet up for their weekly run and he’d left her on read would have lessened the blow. He could have been straight up with an I just want to focus on my relationship right now. That would have been the decent thing to do, but he’d just dropped her, instead. Didn’t come around her office for lunch, didn’t text her after training when one of the guys said something stupid and he thought it might make her laugh. He’d cut her off from the intimate parts of his life - ghosted her, even - and all she could find it in herself to do anymore was miss him.
She’d made attempts to bring him around, at first. Tried speaking to him at work, tried texting, but after a few weeks of staring at the delivered sign at the bottom of their message thread, she had given up. It still taunts her every time she opens it up to delete the entire thing and move on like he clearly has - erasing all the inside jokes and times they had confided in one another like they meant ever meant anything in the first place.
She can count on her hand the amount of times they had spoken since the summer. Work related, entirely. A good game here and a have you seen whoever? there. Today is the first indication in months that they had ever been anything more than two people who worked in the same organisation. Friends of friends, co-workers, barely acquaintances.
Not people who know each other’s favourite holidays and are chummy with each other’s friends.
“I’m sorry, Poppy,” Nia frowns, “I didn’t know.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs, attempting nonchalance despite the stinging in the back of her throat. “Let’s finish here so we can go get ready.”
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Nico
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Nico Hischier isn’t the biggest fan of New Years Eve. He isn’t really a fan of the festive period, at all. He isn’t a scrooge by any means. He can appreciate the coming together of people and the celebration of the year just gone, and the one starting fresh - but ever since he moved from Switzerland and started his career in the NHL, the holiday period has felt unnecessarily long.
His schedule is jam packed - games up until the 23rd, starting again after Christmas on the 27th, and again after New Years on the 3rd - and there aren’t enough consecutive days together to celebrate in the way others get to do this time of year. 
He knows he has to make do with the fact - a small price to pay for living his dream - and his teammates help, all sharing in their sacrifices and trying to make the best out of a bad deal. But he can’t help but feel a lack. A lack of tradition, a lack of family being around, a lack of normalcy.
He remembers the holidays as a child, spending time at home with his parents and his siblings, having two weeks at home for his winter break and getting to spend his days doing whatever he pleased. As someone who moved overseas at such a young age, he looks back on those times fondly. 
But now, living at least 8 hours away from the rest of his family, this time of year only serves to remind him of the isolation that creeps up on him like a bad cold.
It starts at the beginning of the month, the sniffly nose period of the bug, when chatter starts around who’s doing what for Christmas. Decorations go up, parties are planned, names are passed around in a hat for Secret Santa, and discussions begin around who is managing to go where. 
Next comes the tickle in his throat - the last game before Christmas, where the team all depart and separate with temporary goodbyes as those who have family nearby all get to go home - their parents arranging home cooked extravaganza meals, reuniting with their siblings, exchanging gifts - and Nico, for the 5th year running, feels like a bit part in someone else’s festivities as he and a few of the other European guys all bustle into the dining room of whoever is willing to accommodate them for the day. 
Then comes the rest, the sneezing, the coughing, the lethargy, in the period between Christmas and New Years, when everyone is reeling off the back of their celebrations and looking forward to ringing in the next year with a big party. 
Nico had thought this year might have been better. He had been in a relationship, there were parts of the holidays he could tweak and adopt into his circumstances - exchanging gifts with a loved one, bringing her along to Christmas dinner at Jesper and Nicole’s place, and not having to feel like a third wheel or like he had to shrink to fit at the kiddie’s table. 
He’d even tried to start his own holiday traditions with Talia, his girlfriend. He’d booked an overnight stay at a fancy hotel on the Upper East Side in the middle in the month on one of the rare occasions he’d had two consecutive days with no game or other commitments - despite how hectic his schedule had been. He’d taken her Christmas shopping down Fifth Avenue like she’d talked so much about how she’d wanted to do ever since she came out to New Jersey with him after the summer. He’d taken her ice skating, away from the Rock so that it didn’t feel like work, they had bought and decorated the tree in his apartment together, he’d brought her along to every team holiday event.
And on the day of their home game against Anaheim on the 17th, just a few days after their trip into Manhattan, in the middle of the third period, she had unceremoniously dumped him with an I’m just not feeling this anymore. Over text. As she was already at the airport preparing to fly back to Munich to spend the holidays with her family. He had slumped into his locker after their brutal 5-1 defeat and couldn’t believe what he was reading.
Nico wanted to be angry. As he read the text, he could picture any other person throwing and smashing things. Calling her up and demanding an explanation - because it was clear she hadn’t been feeling it for longer than she let on, considering she was about to board a no doubt fully booked flight across the Atlantic in the eleventh hour. 
But there was too large of a part of him that just felt relieved.
Talia was great.
He had met her properly in the summer when he had gone home to Switzerland, but they’d had mutual friends long before. He’d liked a couple of her instagram pictures here, she had responded to a few of his stories there, and then they had been formally introduced at a friend’s party.
Things with her were easy, at first. Nico wasn’t looking for anything serious, and she had ticked all of the right boxes. She was good company, always down to do whatever he was doing with whoever he wanted to do it with. She recognised that summer was the only time of the year he truly had to himself, and she let him take the reins on how he wanted to spend it.
She would go on hikes with him, would lounge around in the sun if wanted, go to parties, go to festivals, join him on little weekend trips to Ibiza or Mallorca. And she was a great release when his training had picked up. She would work around his schedule. He’d invite her round to his apartment and he had enjoyed spending time doing nothing with her after a long day at the gym or at the rink.
She had slotted so perfectly into that version of his life that he gave very little thought into inviting her into the rest of it. 
She was beautiful, sociable, charismatic - and then she became hard work.
When summer was over, and he invited her to spend some time back in New Jersey, she didn’t quite grasp how much things would need to change. She constantly wanted to have plans. Wanted to go to parties, wanted to go out, be around other people, take little trips - and he had tried to accommodate her the best he could, but he didn’t have the time for himself, let alone for another person, to be doing things all the time. He had tried to tell her as much, and she said she was okay with it, said as long as he was present with her, she could settle for not doing the things they had in the summer, but she expected too much from him. 
She wanted Nico’s attention at all hours of the day, weaving herself into every aspect of his routine. He wanted to run? She would go with him, could really use the fresh air. He wanted to do some solo training at the gym? She had been meaning to work on her lifting. He couldn’t go to the grocery store - could barely even go to work without her wanting to be there. His phone would blow up whenever they were apart, and if he didn’t text her back straight away, she’d become cold - making him feel guilty and grovel for her forgiveness.
Talia was fun, until she wasn’t. Until she was exhausting, and Nico couldn’t keep up with her any longer. 
She didn’t give him the grace to have an off day. He was tired, he was struggling, and when the season kicked into full swing, and the team’s schedule was packed, he became unable to juggle it all.
His work was suffering, his star was dimming, his body ached and his performance dipped - both in his professional and personal life. 
And so, after the detonation of their relationship, a break up text felt a little like a wake up call.
Talia had contributed so much to the deterioration of normalcy in his life, that Nico was still trying to piece back together his routine 2 weeks later. 
His holiday period this year had been spent in a haze - and it wasn’t for the reason everyone thought. He had caught the pitiful glances sent his way over the dinner table at Christmas, had seen the way the couples in the room tried to spare him of their PDA whenever he was around, and he could have told them it was okay. He was okay. But there was a large part of him that was trying to figure that out, still.
He had known he wasn’t heartbroken. He wasn’t shooting off texts to Talia and begging for her to come back. He’d already boxed up what little belongings she had left behind and was going to ship them internationally after the New Year had passed. He had deleted, not archived, all their photos on his private socials, and had even deleted most of them from his phone. He wasn’t in pieces over the fact she had ended things.
But he knew something still wasn’t right.
At first, he had thought it was work related. Their worst week of the season had happened just before Christmas - 3 losses at home in the span of 5 days - and he thought that could be the reason for his slump. Then, they won against Detroit and he still felt off.
Then, he thought he had been anxious about Christmas - about showing up on his own, having to explain his breakup to everyone not quite caught up on the news yet, and he would have to wallow in that same old feeling of watching everyone else enjoy the holidays. But Jesper and Nicole had thrown together a pretty nice day for the guys. The food was great, the company was great, and he’d gone back to his apartment that night with a feeling of relief - like he’d been dreading something for so long only for him to have genuinely enjoyed himself.
And finally, as if being thrust into a freezing cold ice bath, realisation had washed over him on the morning of the team’s final home game of the year against Columbus. 
He had been walking through the back offices of the Prudential Centre when he had stumbled upon a conversation, and had heard Poppy Jensen’s voice for the first time in what felt like forever.
“I’m just kinda beat, to be honest, J,” she had said in response to a question Nico hadn’t caught. He had thought no one would be around, most of the Foundation staff having the week off, and hadn’t expected to come across anyone on his venture to the best vending machine in the building. The Foundation offices were often frequented by kids, and had an assortment of candies throughout their machines instead of the protein bars or rice cakes elsewhere in the staff areas. At the sound of her voice, he had come to an immediate halt, peaking around the corner where he could see into her office. She was moving some things into a box on her desk and Jack Hughes was reclining in the chair in front of it that once had been claimed by Nico as his own. “I’m all social interaction-ed out, the holidays have kinda beat me to a pulp, I don’t think I could keep up with you guys, I’m sorry.”
Nico watches as she swats at his feet when he tries to kick them up onto her desk, and can’t quite see the crease between her brows as she frowns at their mutual friend, but can remember how it used to form all the same. “You’re such a bullshitter,” Jack had scoffed, clearly pre-empting the stapler Poppy would throw at him, managing to catch it with ease. 
“You can’t call me a bullshitter in my own office,” she gawked, “You don’t see me marching out onto the ice and calling you an attention whore.”
Jack had thrown the stapler straight back. She caught it all the same, and dropped it into the box.
“You haven’t hung out with us in forever!”
“We hung out at the Toy Drive like 2 weeks ago!” There had been two toy drive events organised by the Foundation in different parts of town, and, as he had long become accustomed to, Nico had been put on the one separate to the event Poppy was working. It had been fun, but when he’d checked the social posts the next day and seen the pictures posted of the other team - all smiles between them, a slightly blurry Poppy in the near background of all of Jack’s pictures to indicate how close they had been throughout the event - he had felt like he’d missed out on something.
“That was work, it doesn’t count, Popsicle.” Nico could hear the roll of Jack’s eyes.
“Yeah, well some of us don’t consider helping underprivileged children and spreading Christmas spirit ‘work’, Jack.” Poppy had used air quotes to emphasise her sarcasm, and a fond warmth had spread throughout Nico’s chest at hearing her hold her own against someone as brazenly wise as Jack Hughes. “I thought we were hanging out, having fun, improving our community together. You should really check your ego!”
“I sh-,” Jack had managed to cut himself off, no doubt realising how loud he had gotten. “You’re the one who’s been avoiding the whole team all year, ‘cause you’re hung up on-,”
The door to Poppy’s office had slammed closed before Nico had a chance to hear the end of his teammate’s sentence. Their voices had been muffled after that, and shame had started to creep up on Nico at the fact he’d been eavesdropping on a private conversation.
He’d foregone the snacks he originally snuck off in search of, and returned back to the locker room to get ready for his practice skate. 
For the first time in a long time, when Jack arrived and threw himself down on the bench beside him, Nico had wanted him to bring her up.
In the months prior, he would freeze up at the mention of Poppy Jensen, not wanting to face the reality of his dwindling connection to someone who had once been such a huge part of his life. He had other focuses - namely, Talia - and reflecting on what had once been between the two of them did not serve any kind of good purpose. It opened him up to uncomfortable conversations that he wasn’t willing to have, uncomfortable realisations he couldn’t quite come to terms with, and he had been too comfortable avoiding any kind of confrontation around it.
But in the short time between witnessing the conversation between Jack and Poppy, and getting ready for the team’s morning practice, too many questions had been swirling around his mind, and he needed answers.
Why was Poppy packing up her desk?
Why was she avoiding hanging out with the team?
What was she so hung up on? Had something happened?
He’d spent so long avoiding even thinking about her, that he all of a sudden felt like he’d missed everything.
Luckily for him, Jack Hughes needed little to no prompting for his blabbermouth nature to prevail.
“You know, for someone who’s literal job it is to lead us as a Captain, you’ve done terribly at warning me just how stressful this whole New Years thing is,” Jack had huffed as he began changing into his practice gear.
“I did nothing but warn you,” Nico responded, “You called me Mr Grumpy Pants and told me I was just afraid your party was gonna be better than mine.”
“Yeah, well, you should have insisted, it’s stressing me out.”
“You’ll be fine,” Nico scoffed, running a hand through the mess of his hair and leaning back into his locker. He watched Jack’s jittery movements as he shrugged on his pads, and felt the need to reassure his friend. “Everyone’s looking forward to it. As long as there’s plenty to drink and decent music, people will have a good time.”
“Not everyone,” Jack grumbled, “I can’t even get Poppy to come and she loves parties.”
So that’s what they had been talking about. 
Poppy did love parties, but Nico couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her at one. 
“Poppy has a New Years ritual, she didn’t come to mine, either, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it.” Nico shrugged, despite the wave of a memory that washed over him of him doing exactly that when she hadn’t showed up last year. He’d had to restrain himself from leaving his own party - spent the night texting her updates on what everyone had been doing, snap-chatting her pictures in the hopes it would entice her the few blocks over from her apartment building. He’d only been consoled by the text he’d received just after the clock had struck midnight, settling for the pride in knowing he had been one of the first to get a Happy New Years message from her - knowing it wasn’t just a mass text she would have copy-and-pasted to everyone else, and had been personalised to him with a bunch of perfectly curated emojis and exclamation marks after his name.
Nico didn’t see Jack’s stiffened posture at the way he had so nonchalantly mentioned her for the first time in forever. Didn’t see the side eye, or the pensive twist of his mouth as he carefully considered his next words like he was about to step through a minefield.
“I’m gonna keep trying,” he had sat back down on the bench beside Nico to put on his skates, “I’m definitely her favourite, she’s been helping me organise the whole thing, I don’t think it will take much to convince her.”
Nico tried not to show any kind of reaction to Jack being Poppy’s favourite, or at the thought of how much time they must be spending together to organise such an event. A part of him knew he was only saying it to rattle him. “Cutting it a little fine, aren’t you? New Years is in a couple days, and the guys from the Foundation aren’t even around this week, are they?”
“She’s covering someone on content until January, I said I’d drive her home after the game and me and Lukey can double down on it. And if we can’t get it done tonight, she’s coming on the road with us at the end of the week. I’ve got plenty of time.”
“Oh,” Nico was thankful for how Jack had leaned over to tie his skates up, because he wasn’t entirely sure he’d been able to mask whatever had flooded over him at the revelation that his teammate would be driving Poppy home.
That was his thing. He was pretty sure his passenger seat was still positioned to her liking despite how long it had been since she’d sat in it. He was still working his way through the stash of smiley face air fresheners she had stashed in his glove compartment. He still felt like he was forgetting something every time he left the parking lot and she wasn’t sat beside him, chatting his ear off about some of the kids she had worked with in the day.
“Maybe you should ask her?”
Nico’s eyes shot over to meet Jack’s in alarm. “Me?”
“Yeah, the more people that ask, the more she might feel like she’s missing out. Flash her those cute dimples, how could she possibly say no?”
“I think I’m the last person that’s gonna convince Poppy to come, Jack.” Nico had tried to be nonchalant about it, but he had come across so painfully uncomfortable that he could feel the hair on his arms stand, not liking the ache that spread through his chest at the statement. 
There was once upon a time that cheering Poppy Jensen up had been a large part of his routine. Even small acts, like bringing her a coffee on a busy day, where he knew she wouldn’t take a break to go get one herself, and knew how much she disliked the stuff from the pot in her office. Sending her texts from across the room when there were big organisation meetings and he could see her chewing at her fingernails at the vast amounts of information being spewed about. Tagging her in cute animal videos he’d come across on TikTok when he was across the country on a roadie and on a different timezone - she’d wake up to them sometimes, and he’d wake up to her response.
“Right, I forgot you two aren’t friends anymore.”
“Is that what she said?” Nico had swallowed down the hurt at the thought of her coming to that conclusion - vocalising it to someone and finalising the decision before he had any chance to do anything about it.
He couldn’t really blame her, though - he’d had plenty of chances.
Nico could feel himself beginning to spiral, words swirling around his head like a tornado of realisation and guilt. 
Aren’t friends anymore.
Avoiding the whole team all year.
Jack is driving her home.
He’s her favourite.
Aren’t friends anymore.
Shit.
He didn’t even take in Jack’s response to his question. As much as he wanted to know the answer, he couldn’t bear to hear it. 
Nico couldn’t face up to what he had truly lost.
It wasn’t his girlfriend of five months, who had dumped him over text during the most wonderful time of the year. It wasn’t a few games, that, sure, it had sucked that they had been beat, but in retrospect, the team had had a pretty decent start to the season, and shouldn’t have had his back up that much. 
Nico had lost someone who had, at one point, been the most important person in his life. 
The person he would usually have gone to to help him through the other stuff - the breakups, the losses, the stress, the anxiety - the crushing weight that had been pressing down on his chest since he had left for Switzerland at the beginning of summer. 
Nico and Poppy used to work around each other like a beautifully choreographed, well-rehearsed dance. She always knew when he was overwhelmed or exhausted, he always knew when she was stressed or upset, and they both knew how to pick the other back up. 
They hadn’t even fallen out of sync when they’d stopped talking to each other, only this time, they were moving around each other. If Nico entered a room, Poppy would leave. If she knew he was going to be at a team party, she’d make up an excuse not to go. If someone mentioned Poppy in casual conversation, Nico would quickly change the subject. All of it had been subconscious, on his part, at least.
It had been so easy after such a prolonged distance between the two of them to move when she pushed, to watch when she ran, like he had grown into his part in their relationship akin to repelling magnets, always moving away from one another.
It had been so easy that he hadn’t even really realised what was happening - lost and handicapped by a thick fog clouding his thoughts and his judgement. He’d let their once blooming friendship wither and die, and for what?
As he had watched Jack waddle out of the locker room for their practice session, muttering a dismissive, “Whatever, I’ll figure it out,” to his Captain, it was like he had been awakened into full consciousness. 
Nico had thought that his turmoil had started with the holiday period. Had thought the ache of homesickness had swirled in with the grief that came with the loss of his relationship, and the shame his poor performances on the ice had thrown upon him. But it had started long before that. He hadn’t been himself since he’d returned from his summer break. Before that, even.
Without realising that he had lost her, Nico had spent the last few months subconsciously mourning his friendship with Poppy - the crushing weight of that grief consuming him to a point that he felt lost with no way out, and had expressed it in a bunch of misguided ways.
He reached into his bag to retrieve where he had stashed his cellphone, scrolling through his Messages app until he stumbled across Poppy’s name. The last text had been sent in September, by her, and he had never responded - had never even opened it, the blue dot to the left of their message thread taunting him with chirps of how awful he had been to ignore it.
Poppy: Hey, can we talk? I miss you.
How late is too late to reply to a text like that? He could only hope she still felt the same way.
Turns out, 4 months might be too late.
Nico has drafted an embarrassing amount of messages to Poppy over the days since that conversation in the locker room.
His notes app has a whole folder dedicated to her. Bullet pointed lists, random memories that made him think of her, structured essays that laid out a timeline of their friendship, and all the mistakes he would need to beg for her forgiveness for. 
He’d tried sending a message when he had got back to his apartment after the game against Columbus, feeling a rush of confidence from the adrenaline of their OT win, his high had soon dwindled when he was alone. He sat staring at all the different iterations of an apology he could offer, and had even chickened out of the final draft of a very simple but hopefully effective, ‘Hey.’
He knew he was overthinking it. A conversation starter would at the very least open the door for the apology, and all he needed to do was talk to her in some way - but that turned out to be easier said than done.
She wasn’t in her office when he’d gone to seek her out at work the next day, and when he realised she was probably in the content and media offices, he felt like he would be cornering her if he sought her out in front of anyone else. When the weight of how far removed they now were from each other’s lives dawned on him, a text felt too informal, and so the paragraphs sat untouched in his notes. The weather hadn’t been too great, so he couldn’t try and intercept her on the running route he knew all too well, and even attempting to orchestrate a seemingly random encounter outside of work seemed too creepy so stopping by the cafe around the corner from her apartment in the hopes she’d be there grabbing a latte was off the cards. 
He’d seen her on the plane to Ottawa, having to pass her seat to get to the team section at the back, but he had a few people boarding behind him, and she had her eyes cast toward her cell, headphones on and typing intently to somebody, he couldn’t even offer her a friendly smile to try and warm her up to the possibility of a conversation.
Between their win against the Senators, and their loss against the Bruins the next day, there wasn’t much time, or energy, really, to seek her out, and so he’d had to press the breaks, but as they flew back to New Jersey from Boston, a panic had started to swirl within his chest.
Nico knew he couldn’t enter a new year without clearing the air, and so time was well and truly running out. He again had seen her on the plane, and when he had plucked up the courage to get up and go sit with her, Jack had beaten him to it. When the plane had landed, and the team bus had driven them all back to the Rock, the Hughes brothers had both walked her to her car to see her off for the evening. 
For someone who had been not-so-subtly trying to initiate a reunion between Nico and Poppy for so long, Jack Hughes sure knew how to get in the way. But, he was easy to forgive - especially when Nico had woken up to his texts late this morning.
Jack: need ur help
Jack: urgently
Jack: wake up dude
Nico: I’m not driving anywhere for you
Jack: not asking u to
Jack: u will like this I promise 😌
Nico: what do you want?
Jack: need u to keep Poppy company
Jack: she’s in my apartment and she seemed off when she got here
Jack: been on her own for a few hours
Jack: so she’s grumpy 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 👹👹
Nico: doubt I can change the grumpy part
Nico: especially if you’ve left her alone for hours
Jack: don’t need to
Jack: ur a grump too
Jack: will cancel each other out 👍🏻👍🏻😇😇
Jack: u going down or no?
Nico: fine
Jack: I’ll be back in 1 hr :)
Jack: love u cap 😚
Nico: 🙄
And that was how Nico had found himself trudging down to Jack’s apartment, hopeful at the dream of a bridged gap between him and Poppy, and quickly disappointed by the reality.
She had been cold, rightfully so, and had made it clear as day she didn’t want anything to do with him. She had shrunk into herself, backing away from him any time he got too close,  defecting to a state of avoidance - gaze dropping to the floor, declining his offers to help her, making assumptions she was in his way, as if the thought of him seeking her out had become an entirely alien concept.
He couldn’t blame her for how she was being with him. It had been his fault things had collapsed between them - he’d come to that conclusion with the vast amounts of evidence piled up in his phone storage the past couple of days, but it didn’t make it hurt any less to see her like this - or to feel an actual, tangible resistance when he had tried to insist on being around. She didn’t want him around, that much was obvious, and it was starting to feel like it was to late to fix what he had so royally screwed up between the two of them. 
The once well-oiled machine that was their friendship was now clunky, clattering, dying a slow death with parts that were now obsolete.
But that didn’t change how much he wanted it to work. His parents had once told him when he was growing up that nothing was beyond repair, and if he wanted something fixed enough, he would figure out a way.
They had been talking about a model train he, his father and his brother had made when he was very young. The company that made the sets had gone bust, and they no longer sold the individual parts anymore - so when his sister had stumbled over something in the garage back home, knocked a box, and the once pristine collectable train had tumbled out and ended up cracked and chipped, he had been heartbroken. He and Nina had filled in the chips with wood filler, and touched it up with her nail polish, and it wasn’t the same but in a way it was better - a new sentiment attached with a memory of bonding with his sibling. 
The same thing could apply to his friendship with Poppy. Maybe they couldn’t go back to what they were - maybe they could be better.
And, when Poppy had made one too many attempts to push him away - when he had taken a hold of her after she had tried to move past him, dismissing him and his desire to help her, once again - a fire reignited within him. A spark of hope flickered at the familiarity that had flashed across her face as he referred to her in an endearment he hadn’t let himself use in so long.
In that moment - hand wrapped around her arm, just above her elbow, the skin soft and warm, close enough to smell the all too familiar cloud of vanilla-coconut scent that followed her, and her eyes locked on his - he had seen a crack in her armour.
He had seen an element of want - wanting to reconcile, wanting to fix things, wanting him in her life in the way he had been those months ago - and in a mirror of his own emotions, he had seen trepidation.
They wanted the same things, had the same fears, had the same end goal.
And when the unforeseen interruption of her best friend arriving startled her back into her withdrawn persona, he had realised something else.
Nia’s contrasting attitude toward Nico - open, friendly, familiar - had opened his eyes to the fact that Poppy hadn’t told her best friend about the demise of her friendship with Nico. 
And that, as much as it needed unpacking entirely, was Nico’s backdoor entry into the high security vault of Poppy’s good graces. 
Thankfully for him, Nia’s obliviousness to their tension had worked entirely in his favour. He tried not to look too much into Poppy’s attempted avoidance of spending the evening in his presence, despite her other plans falling apart. Tried to shoulder the blows of her sly digs at them not being friends anymore. Tried to ignore the pang in his heart at Poppy’s best friend being the one to throw flirty jibes his way, and not her. 
A determination had begun to brew within him - swirling, bubbling, steaming - and it was going to push him to finally bridge the gap he had forced between them.
His first success was her agreeing to come to the party, and he could easily build on that momentum.
Nico and Poppy were going to be friends again by midnight, he would figure out a way.
> Chapter One
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niqhtlord01 · 4 months ago
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Humans are weird: The Long War
( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)
War’s often did not last long when fought between warring galactic powers. They often fell within one of two categories.
The first would be a short but brutal war in which one side had overwhelming superiority over their rival and would decimate them within a short period of time either resulting in the defeated offering concessions for peace or being incorporated into the victors realm as a new territory.
The second and less frequent of the two would be a drawn out conflict that would reach a stalemate at some point due to the near equal power of the opposing sides resulting in a peace treaty or more likely a cease fire that would last for a few years before resuming hostilities.
These two outcomes were the most frequent as with the age of space travel often came great leaps and bounds in other forms of technology; many times said technology being diverted to respective military industrial complexes.
Weapons that could carve up continents from orbit or snap starships in two like twigs left little in room for anything else.
Humans did not share this notion.
In quite a contrast to the standard norm human military planners also considered lengthier drawn out conflicts. Data sheets and computer banks were filled with projections for supply consumption, industrial production capacities, troop conscription rates, and even the designated planetary ration levels that would be acceptable before general population revolts within their own territory.
This practice was first demonstrated when conflict broke out between the Drumengi and the Terran Republic after a series of trade disputes resulted in the Drumengi seizing several dozen human trade vessels and demanding a ransom for their return. This was a grave insult and the Terran Republic responded the next day with an open declaration of war.
While the Drumengi did not have a sizable fleet, they had invested in a wide range of defensive orbital installations that dotted their territory in what was known as the “Halo of Iron”. No fleet had ever been able to breach the defenses of the Halo and so previous wars had gone for little more than a year before a peace treaty was negotiated. The Drumengi expected as much and planned to force humanity to the negotiation table.
It was unfortunate no one had informed the humans of this plan as the terran’s had already devised a plan to crack the halo.
 Establishing a vast network of relay stations, automated satellite weapons platforms, and mobile fleet waystation’s that were brought in and placed along key trade routes into Drumengi territory, humanity established an iron halo of their own. Once the human ring was completed warning beacons were activated and a message was broadcasted in every language declaring the territory an active warzone and refused passage for any ship to try and cross through it.
Initially the Drumengi were inclined this was the prelude to a massive invasion fleet and prepared themselves, but as the months turned to years still no attack came. Human fleets patrolled the surrounding systems and intercepted all ships that tried to breach their lines with the help of the relay stations that were constantly scanning the surrounding space for ships.
Three years passed and soon every ship learned to avoid Drumengi space for fear of human retaliation; and that is when the Drumengi learned the true plan of humanity.
They never intended to besiege their defensive ring in some full frontal do or die charge. Instead they had formed a blockade that now was choking the very life of the Drumengi economy month by month.
It was never intended for the war to last more than a year, two at max, but now humanity was still showing no signs of relenting as the war dragged on to the fourth year. Critical supplies had not been stored in sufficient quantities for an extended war and while the public was assured of an eventual victory, Drumengi planners were beginning to panic. Worlds within Drumengi space were reporting that their stockpiles had dropped 32% since the war began and were increasingly demanding to open negotiations with the humans.
With little offensive capabilities the Drumengi were forced to sit behind their iron halo and continue to wait out the humans. Several delegations had been sent to other powers to open up channels and begin laying the ground work for peace talks, but each time they were informed that the talks were stalled by human counterparts who proceeded to drag their feet over every minor detail. One delegation went so far to report that a human diplomat would not accept any document unless it was written with a “Ballpoint Pen, color blue”. No one had any idea what that was exactly and even after researching it the device took another three weeks to be shipped in only for the human to reject it again saying that they had imported red pens instead.
The war dragged into the fifth year and supply levels had reached critical across the entire Drumengi domain. Supply levels had decreased by 67% for most worlds while fuel levels now were at a critical 13%. Travel was limited to military personnel, government officials, and what limited transportation still remained. Food riots had broken out in several major metropolitan areas on numerous planets and were becoming increasingly difficult to put down. In some cases the magistrates sent to neutralize the riots switched sides and joined the rioters, beckoning the military to get involved as well. That did little to settle the matter however as then the government worried how long it would be until the military switched sides as well.
With heavy hearts and empty bellies the Drumengi leadership finally came to humanity directly and offered to surrender. No terms were asked for save the resumption of trade and the dismantling of the human ring of iron.
The humans agreed to the first measure, but denied the second. Their ring of iron would remain, as a reminder of how easily humanity could cripple them again should the Drumengi ever show their hand again. They also insisted on reparations for maintaining such an extensive grid and exacted a high sum of credits as well. The Drumengi were outraged at this. They were told not only to surrender but to also pay for their imprisonment? The government would be overthrown within a fortnight when the general population heard the news.
Their pleas fell on deaf ears as the humans reiterated their demands once more.
As they had planned ahead for their long war, so too had they planned for the end result. They had changed the nature of the war and had steered it to the point where either outcome would be in their benefit. If the Drumengi agreed to the terms the current government would collapse in on itself as the general population railed against humanities demands, but if they refused their supplies would run out at the general public would once again violently rise up across their entire domain and their territory would become nothing more than mere pocket kingdoms for despots and criminals.
Regardless of the choice, the long war would finally be at an end.  
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rainbowpopeworld · 2 months ago
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(So you don’t have to deal with all the annoying ads on The Mirror’s website, here’s the whole article interview)
EXCLUSIVE: David Tennant reveals his wife Georgia's role) in his 'huge' Rivals series decision
By Nicola Methven
“David Tennant says he jumped at the chance to star in Jilly Cooper’s 1980s bonkbuster Rivals - because his wife said it would be “sensational”.
The former Doctor Who star said she was thrilled when the first script arrived. “I told Georgia and she was convinced that this was something I had to be involved with,” he explains. “She said, ‘This series is going to be huge. This is going to be exactly what the country needs, exactly what the world needs.’
"She knew the books from her teenage years, as I understand, and knew that this was going to make sensational television.”
He duly accepted the role of Lord Tony Baddingham, one of the show’s main villains and was delighted when Georgia eventually got to watch the episodes, and loved them.
"Her reaction was so positive and so joyous," he says. "I know when she's being genuine."
Tony is a grammar school boy with a chip on his shoulder about not being a proper toff. His character runs a regional TV station facing franchise renewal and has a dependable upper-crust wife, played by Sherwood's Claire Rushbrook, but is also having a very steamy affair with the new TV executive he's lured over from New York (Nafessa Williams).
The actor, 53, argues that poor old Tony is just horribly misunderstood. "From the inside, no character believes they're a villain, do they? I think Tony's motivations are very clear. He's very easy to understand in many ways. Tony sees himself as hard done by and someone who's just struggling to survive and to win."
While he can remember the 80s quite clearly, Tenant says that filming Rivals felt very much like being on a period drama. "It's almost like being on the set of a Dickens novel," he muses.
"The 80s seems quite recent history to me, but once you start recreating that world, you realise it's actually very different. That's wonderful fun to film - to be on a time capsule of a set is glorious."
As the Doctor he got to time-travel all over the place in the TARDIS but Tenant says he loved spending time in the 80s, not least because of the music. When you're a teenager at the time, a lot of it, however good it is, is uncool, and therefore you're not really allowed to like it," he says. "Whereas now, as a jaded 53-year-old, I can just go, 'Oh, do you know what I loved? A-ha'."
And what else did he love? "I didn't have to ride a horse, which was a mercy, because I'm a little bit allergic."
Tenant admits that filming the incredibly saucy bedroom scenes was a bit awkward but he felt there was safety in numbers thanks to the huge number of them. Barely any of the cast don't end up getting involved in one way or another.
"| mean, sex scenes are never comfortable, you know? But again, because everyone was in the same boat, there was a lot of discussion about, 'When are you doing that scene?' and 'Have vou done that yet?'
He believes it's fine for Rivals to be labelled a “bonkbuster" - it's full of sex at the end of the day - but only if it's said with due respect for what Dame Jilly achieved with the Rutshire Chronicles. "There are a generation of readers who were so influenced by her, and for whom these novels meant so much, it means that that writing is obviously better than some would have you believe," he says. "The way she writes character is timeless, and people having sex is pretty timeless. So these books have been tenacious for a reason." The actor says an early scene where the pathologically competitive Tony leaps from his helicopter onto the croquet lawn is his favourite career moment so far.
"That hole-in-one, I would like you to know, was probably the greatest day of my professional life," he laughs. Instructed by the director to "whack it" from 30 feet away he was told the cameras would keep running until he managed it. "I thought the crew are gonna hate me by take 402," he remembers. "And I nailed it on take four. I've never felt more pleased with myself than that moment. I felt like a sporting God."”
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juletheghoul · 1 year ago
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AN: The gif of this man as a sheriff, sent my ass into a SPIRAL and this is what happened. I originally wanted to post this for my birthday, but with Canadian Thanksgiving falling on the same weekend there was no way I would have been able to finish lol. I am still trying to post more often, please be patient with me, hopefully this makes up for the lack of posting for the last few weeks. Special thanks to @wheresarizona for betaing and just general wonderfulness, to @just-here-for-the-moment for screaming at me through comments and in whatsapp over this, and to @frannyzooey for screaming at me through discord lol (And for making me some super awesome edits that I will post after!) Hope you enjoy xox. 
(PS, I have an idea for a part 2, let me know if you’d want to read it!)
Pairing; Sheriff Frankie Morales x f!reader (Blue / Bluebell as a nickname)
Warnings;  sweet, lovestruck Frankie needs his own warning I think-piv sex (wrap it up), swearing, dirty talk, Frankie eats pussy like the champion he is, a non-consensual creampie, angst, longing, yearning, some violence (involving guns / war, accurate for the time period-I tried not to let it get too gory or graphic) brothel mentions - let me know if I missed anything.
Word count; 13k 😅
reblogs are appreciated
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Dust swirled around him as he made his way into town from the train station, the sun beating down on his every step, and although he hadn’t been home in over a decade, he still knew the way just as well as if he’d never left. Difference was he’d left practically a boy, and now he’d come back a man. 
People he both did and didn’t recognize passed him as he carried his suitcase down the sunny high street, some of them smiled, most of them ignored him. It made no difference to him. He would be their new sheriff just the same. Besides, there was only one person he cared to see again. There would be time enough for that later, though. First, he had to get settled. 
The brothel was busy, a surefire sign of the town’s growth evident in the number of horses tied up in front. 
“Well, hey there, sugar–” He tipped his hat and smiled at the young lady calling out to him, smiling as she leaned against one of the columns flanking the entrance, “-you coming to make a woman out of me?” She batted her big eyes at him. 
“Don’t count on it.” His tone was polite, his smile in place. She tsked, giggling at his manners before being called away by someone inside.
Sweat was starting to collect on his brow with the effort of lugging his suitcase all the way from the train station, and he let out a relieved sigh when he finally stepped through the doors of the sheriff's office. It was somehow even hotter on the inside. 
“Can I help you?” A kid no older than he’d been when he’d left greeted him from one of the two desks in the small room. 
“I’m Francisco Morales, I’m here to see–”
“He’s here to see me, he’s my replacement.” A grizzled but familiar voice sounded from behind him, “You’re early.” The older man walked past him on his way to the second, bigger desk, where he put his cowboy hat down before turning to face him once more. “I was under the impression you’d be here by the end of this month. You in that much of a hurry to retire me, boy?” 
He set the suitcase down before wiping at the back of his neck with his handkerchief. 
“No sir, just wanted to get settled in, have some time to reacquaint myself.” He put the cloth away. “Fix up the house before starting. Thought I’d check in with you first, though.” He’d gotten in plenty of trouble growing up, and most of the time, this man had been the one to pull him by his ear and make him smarten up. It was a novelty to be in this office and not be in trouble. 
“Well, you’ve checked. Go on and get settled. The desk and the badge will still be here in a week.” Sheriff Carson had always been one to speak plainly, and he did so now. 
“Yes, sir.” Francisco picked the suitcase back up and braced himself for the glaring rays that would greet him just outside. 
“Son,” He turned at the sound of the old man’s voice, “I was sorry to hear about your folks. They were good people.” He nodded back at the old man once and made his way back out the door.
“Try again.” You crossed your arms, “We both know I’m not paying that much.” You kept both your voice and expression as neutral as you could, keeping your real interest in the supplies he had close to your chest. Interest and necessity always cost more. 
He narrowed his eyes, and you raised your eyebrows in return, holding your ground. 
“Price is an even one hundred dollars; had to ride halfway around the world to get most of it-” You curled your lip in disgust.
“Bullshit, Dale! You rode to the nearest town, and that’s only a day's ride at the most. I’ll pay fifty, and that’s twice what it’s worth.” 
“You tryna rob me, woman?” He crossed his arms, mirroring you, “I’ll go down to eighty, but that’s final.” He rose to his full height, his posture making him look like some giant, petulant child. 
“Seventy-five. And I want some tobacco.” 
“Goddamn, you drive a hard bargain. Fine.” He extended his hand, and you shook it with a satisfied smile. 
“Good man. Pleasure doin’ business with you.”
“Yeah, yeah, robbin’ me more like.” He grumbled good-naturedly and unloaded the supplies while you counted out the money to pay him with. “Goin’ back in a couple weeks, make sure you let me know what you’ll be needin’ before I go.” He tucked the money away and left. The rest of the morning was spent restocking the various bottles and cabinets with your new stock.
It was therapeutic, sitting behind the big mahogany counter to take inventory of your shop. The shop that had taken you years to finally acquire. Every so often, you took stock of all the work you’d put into it and felt a significant amount of pride in what you’d accomplished. All of it done on your own. 
The customers came and went throughout the day, buying tinctures and tonics, and you helped them all to the best of your ability until the end of the day eventually found you, and you locked up the shop. With a final sweep to ensure everything was in its right place before closing up for the night.
The sun was blessedly low as you made your way home, but the streets were busy. Ethel, the youngest and friendliest of the girls who worked in the brothel a few doors down from your shop, was smoking her pipe on the porch, waving and smiling as you passed. 
“Hey Ethel, how you keeping?” You called out to her, “Fall in love again today?” She laughed, a plume of smoke wreathing around the halo of her hair. 
“Of course, saw a tall drink of water today. Think I’m gonna marry him.” She winked, a devilish smile on her pretty face. 
“Uh oh, sounds like he’s in trouble.” You laughed, waving as you passed by the house. 
“He will be if he ever comes in here, bye Honey, see you later.” 
The buildings thinned as you moved further and further away from the main street, giving you a clearer view of the surrounding ranches and houses scattered throughout the plains. Your own house came into view, and you smiled to see it. The view of it had the pride swelling again; it had been run down and ragged when you’d purchased it, but money wasn’t the only thing you’d invested. That house was the result of your blood, sweat, and tears. Hours and hours of elbow grease, blisters, and bruises, cuts, and had you not been very careful, it would have cost you a few broken bones as well. 
There was another house on the way to yours though, one that wiped the smile right off your face as you passed it. It was a house that drew your eye no matter how many times you walked past, no matter how many times you tried to ignore it. It was empty now, but years ago, it had been full of life, full of love and mischief and happiness. It had been full of hope and promises. It was empty now, one of the windows broken, much like the promises had been. 
You couldn’t help but watch it as you passed; something flashed in the window, but you ignored it. There hadn’t been anyone there for years. 
Wish it would just burn down or sell. Wish the ground would open up and swallow it whole. 
Your feet ache when you finally make it to your house, eager to unlace the boots imprisoning them. You did your best to hurry through all your chores and feed yourself, the promise of a hot bath and sweet-smelling soap carrying you through. 
The house was so much worse than he’d thought it would be, and he’d thought it’d be bad. A couple of windows had broken, and half a town's worth of dirt and dust had blown in through them. He sighed at the state of it, knowing his mother would never have let it get this bad, and for once, he was grateful she wasn’t around to see it. 
He set his suitcase down and made a mental list of what needed to be done. First thing first, he needed a few things. 
With a wagon full of supplies and considerably less money in his pocket, he began the long process of making it habitable. With a stiff brush and an even stiffer broom, the dirt was returned to its rightful place outside the house. The windows that weren’t broken were opened to let in fresh air, and floors and counters were washed. Food and supplies were put away; the bed was made with new, expensive sheets and linens. 
He worked his fingers to the bone throughout the day and most of the night until he’d done as much as he could. There was nothing to be done about the windows; the glass had been ordered, but it would be a few days, possibly even weeks, until he could fix those. 
By the time he’d boiled water to bathe himself with, he could barely keep his eyes open, and once clean, he dropped into bed and into the sweet abyss of sleep. 
-
It was strange for him to wake up in the same house he’d grown up in, even stranger for him to wake up in the bedroom his parents had owned. He’d been so dead tired that he’d forgotten to close the shutters, and the room was flooded with the golden light of dawn, chasing away any and all hope for a few extra hours of rest. 
Those earlier years were vivid in his mind now that he was here, in this house. He could practically hear the younger, wilder version of himself climbing out his window to go find her. Could still taste the stolen kisses in his mouth, could still hear her delighted laugh when he’d wrap her up in his arms and declare his undying love.  
He rose, trying and failing to leave the memories of her behind, and got ready for the day. The coffee he’d bought from the general store wasn’t half bad, and he drank the whole pot with gusto, making a mental note to make sure he picked up some more before he ran out. 
The current sheriff didn’t want him underfoot while he settled his affairs, and he didn’t plan on making Carson’s life harder, but he did want to reacquaint himself with the town he’d soon be the law in. He figured the best way to do that would be to go into the businesses and talk to the people, and make his presence known. 
You should be looking for her, give her an explanation–demand one in return. 
He shook his head, ignoring the rational part of his brain. After all, he didn’t even know if she was still here. He thought about her as he left his house, imagining he could see the two of them as they’d been before. He, in his transition into manhood, her in the bloom of her youth, the two of them inseparable. The ghosts caught up to him though, and then he saw her–the real her, standing just outside the apothecary, waving someone away. 
She saw him too, and his heart raced. She was even more beautiful to him than he remembered; it was as though for a brief moment, all of the years between them melted away. 
A very brief moment. 
The look of shock and hurt, and what he hoped had been love on her face was replaced with a look that, thankfully, could not hurt him. It was pure and unadulterated anger, no–fury. 
His legs moved, bringing him towards her. This was definitely not how he wanted this meeting to go. He just hoped she’d listen, but judging by the way she stuck up her middle finger at him, it didn’t look good. 
The nerve of him. The unmitigated gall! 
“Wait–” His voice sounded as you turned to make your way back inside the shop. 
“No!” You yelled back over your shoulder, not even bothering to face him, even as your heart raced to see him again. 
“Goddamnit, woman, wait! Let me talk to you–” He was closer than you thought, barely managing to avoid you slamming the door in his face. 
“Don’t you ‘woman’ me, Francisco Morales!” you yelled up into his handsome face, hating how gorgeous he looked, how his neck- one of your favourite parts of him- stared you in the face. “Do me a favour and take off for another fifteen years. Leave me be.” 
“Come on, Bluebell, you gotta let me explain.” He managed to slip through the doors before you had a chance to lock them, but it didn’t matter, the pet name he called you stopped you in your tracks and rocketed the fury to new heights. 
“Bluebell?” You couldn’t hide the edge of violence in your voice, “How dare you call me that? I am nothing but a stranger to you at this point. You lost any and all privileges to call me anything at all when you left.” He was taller than when he left, but his eyes still burned into yours the way they’d done when you were young and in love. 
It would make you laugh if you weren’t still so hurt about how everything had gone down. The way he was standing in front of you, hands on his hips, frustrated frown in place. You didn’t give him an inch, but it hurt to admit just how badly you’d missed him. You shooed the swirl of feelings for him away, focusing on the one easiest to deal with: anger.
“Will you listen to me at least?” 
“Why should I?” You turned from him, busying yourself with putting a few of your jars back in their place. 
“Well, because I owe you an explanation–” You let out a bark of cruel laughter.
“That’s an understatement.”
“-I know, I always intended on coming back for you. You have to know that.”
“Do I? Do I just have to know that Francisco?” You all but slammed the jar into its slot on the big cabinet, taking up the whole wall behind the counter. “You know, you have some goddamn nerve–” the little bell above the door jingled when the Sheriff walked in, his bushy, white eyebrows raised into his hairline as the look on your face. It didn’t take an overly in-depth investigation to see that Francisco wasn’t exactly in your good books.
“You never could stay out of trouble, could you, son?” He moved past him to stand at the counter before you, “You want me to come back later, sweetheart?” 
You sighed, doing your best to smile at the older man. 
“Not at all. I have the tonic ready; give me just a moment to wrap it up for you.” You did your best to smile and ignore the big, aggravatingly effective puppy dog eyes shining at you from your peripheral. “Here you are, Sherriff, that’ll be thirty-five cents.” He dug into his pocket, counting out the right amount and handing it over before thanking you and turning to leave.
“You make sure you let me know if you need anything–” He gave Francisco a frown, “-and I mean anything.” 
“Yes sir, thank you.” With another jingle, he was gone, but other customers made their way inside, and Francisco sighed. 
“You can go ahead and leave. I am at my place of business.” 
“I will come and find you later. Then we can actually talk.” He took a few steps back, his hand on the door handle. 
“I won’t hold my breath.”
Much to his annoyance, the sheriff was waiting for him outside of the apothecary. 
“Can I help you with something, sir?” He spoke the words through a tired sigh. 
“Boy, I do believe that woman hates you.” 
“No sir, that woman loves me. If she hated me, she would have shot me.” He moved away from the sheriff, ignoring the raucous laughter that followed his every step. He ignored it and set about doing what he needed to do, telling himself that he’d be able to deal with it later when she let him explain himself. It made no matter what he told himself, though, his mind wouldn’t let her go. 
Instead of using the time productively, he found himself counting the hours until she closed up the shop, loitering around the door like some lovestruck teenager. He scoffed to himself, ignoring the cloying heat of the sun. Isn’t that all he was? Just some lovestruck fool? She couldn’t know that, though, not with the way things had gone down. 
Any hope he had of her cooling down throughout the day died at the narrowing of her eyes, her expression now as she locked the apothecary door so different from the one that had kept him going throughout the years he’d spent away. 
“Still here, shocking.” She waltzed past him, “Just leave me be.”
“I can’t do that., I need you to listen to me.” It took him a few long strides to catch up with her, “Can I please just explain?”
“Why? What does it matter at this point? I don’t want to hear you–” He stood in her way, blocking her path on the dusty sidewalk.
“Listen! Please!” He held onto her arms, keeping her still so he could look into her eyes. “I know you aren’t happy with me–” She scoffed, and he spoke over her, “I know, but you have to know that I missed you all this time. I didn’t want it to happen like this, but I can’t help that now.” She shrugged out of his grip, crossing her arms. 
“You okay, Honey? This man botherin’ you?” An older woman shouted from the porch of the brothel, her hand on the gun at her hip. 
“No, Ma’am, I’m fine. I know him–well, I knew him.” She turned towards the madam and smiled, “I got it under control.” She sighed and walked around him, turning to him after a few steps. “You have until I get home.” 
He rushed behind her and kept the smile to himself.
“I see you’ve done really well for yourself. It makes me really happy to see how you’ve been–” 
“This isn’t an explanation. You’re wasting your time with flattery I won’t respond to.” 
“Right, I’m sorry.” He frowned, trying to keep pace with her. “I sent you letters–”
“You sent me a few letters, all of which I responded to.” She spoke loudly, cutting him off. “A few letters in almost fifteen years–”
“I sent you dozens of letters.” It was his turn to frown and her turn to slow down, “I wrote to you as often as I could, even after I stopped getting your responses.” He knew he wasn’t exactly the kind of man her parents had wanted her to end up with. He remembered the sour looks on their faces when he’d come calling.
“I got a few letters the first year and then nothing else.” Her expression was wary, her eyes narrowed. “Did you really write to me? Or are you saying that so I’ll forgive you?” She crossed her arms, stopping to gauge the truth in his words. 
“I wrote to you for years, figured I would have to come and talk to you in person, but then I thought maybe you’d met someone else, or moved away, or worse. Then I told myself I’d come and find you, but life is the way it is, and things got in the way. When I heard they needed a new sheriff, I sent word to Carson to see if he’d consider hiring me–I was shocked when he responded yes.” She stared at him, eyes bright but mistrustful. “I swear on my mother's grave.” He took her hand, holding it to his heart. “I should have come sooner-” She pulled her hand away gently, fire still burning in her gaze, but now it was coloured with sadness as well as fury. 
“Yes, yes, you should have.” She sighed and continued walking towards their homes, “I am so angry at you, Francisco. I am angry you left and angry you came back.” She looked away from him, her hands flying to her face momentarily before facing forward again. 
“I know.” His house came into view, and he fought the urge to invite her in. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.” She didn’t respond, only kept her eyes forward. “What time do you leave in the morning?”
“What?” She frowned.
“What time do you usually leave? I’m not sure what time the Apothecary opens–”
“It opens at eight, but I like to get there early. Why?” 
“May I accompany you? I would like to walk with you if I could.” He knew she wouldn’t forgive him so quickly. Her fiery temper was one of the things he’d always loved about her. 
“You want to walk me? I am fully capable-”
“I never said you weren’t. I would still like to walk with you. I’ve missed talking to you, it would be a nice way to…reconnect.” He chanced a smile, hoping it would still have the effect it used to. 
She raised an eyebrow but didn’t smile in return. Her house was closer now, his time with her coming to an end for the day. 
“I suppose I cannot stop you.” It wasn’t a yes, but it definitely wasn’t a no.
“See you tomorrow then, goodnight Bluebell.” He stopped a few yards from her door, waiting until she was safely tucked inside before turning and going home.
-
The moon was high when you finally dug out the letters you’d hidden away deep in the chest at the end of your bed. The paper had yellowed, and you didn’t even bother getting up off the floor. With shaky hands, you untied the little bundle and spread them out in front of you, trying your hardest not to tear up at the little hearts and flowers he’d drawn in the curled-up corners. 
My Dearest Bluebell, 
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss you. Things here move so quickly, but I’m doing so much, making more money than I’ve ever seen! More than enough for us to start our lives together–
You pushed the letter away, finally letting go of the sob that had been squatting in your throat since seeing him earlier that morning. The love he’d had was so evident in his scratchy script, and the pain of his apparent silence reared its head in your soul to see it again after all of the years you’d survived without him. The last letter he’d sent held no clue as to why he’d ever stop writing, and now a nagging suspicion filled the corners of your mind. 
Your mother had made it more than clear that Francisco wasn’t her first choice for you. She’d treated him less than kindly whenever he came calling, would turn up her nose at him whenever she’d seen the two of you together, and had smiled a big, cruel smile at the news that he’d be leaving. Would she have gone so far as to hide letters from him? Something in your heart said yes. 
Suddenly, it was too much to see his words surrounding you, and you gathered them up hastily, tossing them back into the chest before surrendering to the exhaustion in your heart and in your bones and getting into bed. You tried to think about something else as you lay there, anything else–but he kept popping up, making you wonder–against your will–whether or not he’d actually be there in the morning.
-
He didn’t let you wonder.
His heavy knock made you practically jump out of your skin as you did your best to tie the laces of your corset. You chewed on your bottom lip, annoyed with how you rushed to throw on your dressing robe, sighing at the speed with which you made it to the door. 
He smiled as you opened the door, testing every measure of self-control you’d built up in his absence with a single dimple. 
“You’re here.” 
“Yes, just like I said–I figured it would be best to be early.” His gaze raked over you in your half-dressed state, “You look lovely.” 
“Sure I do.” You scoffed, “I need more time. I usually leave a little later.” He scratched at the back of his neck, unsure what to say, and you had to work extra hard to keep from laughing at him. “Come in then. You can wait in the kitchen while I finish getting dressed.” You turned and left then, leaving him to close the door. 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
You kept the door slightly ajar in your bedroom, your heart racing to know that after all this time–he was in the same house as you. You shook your head, shooing away the novelty of his presence to call up the anger and the fury that had kept you from falling apart in his absence. 
“The house looks great!” He called from the kitchen, “You shoulda seen the state of mine when I got here.”
You bit your lip, relishing the deep tones of his voice as they filled the house. 
“Still haven’t been able to fix the windows–had half a desert's worth of sand in the house. Took me forever to clean it.” He continued speaking as you finished dressing, completely unaware of the way you contemplated whether or not to use some of your very pricey, very precious perfume. You ignored the disappointed little voice in your head as you dabbed a few drops behind your ears and on the inside of your wrists. 
“-hopefully, they'll come in by the end of the week-” He was still speaking when you made your way back into the kitchen where he sat at your little table, the long lines of him entirely too big and too wonderful for the tiny space. 
“Have you eaten?” You cut off his speech, pulling down the cast iron pan from the rack above the woodfire stove.
“I, uh, I had some coffee.” 
“So, no?” You shoved some kindling into the open door of the oven, striking a match to light it. 
“Well, no–”
“Okay then.” There was enough time, and you got to work. 
“Can I help?”
“No–actually, yes. You can go fetch some water from the well out back.” You shoved the big kettle into his hands and sent him on his way, where he went without comment. 
Soon enough, you had biscuits baking and coffee brewing, and the house smelled better than any perfume you could buy. You once again ignored the little voice, the one that curiously sounded like your mother when you put out both the butter and the jam. 
When they were out of the oven and steaming, you couldn’t help but smile at how well they'd turned out. 
“It smells like heaven in here.” You could practically hear him drooling, and it was with a great sense of both satisfaction and pride that you watched him throw caution to the wind and eat one without waiting for it to cool down. He moaned at the first bite, making your heart soar and silencing the mean little voice. 
“You like them?” You had to hear it, had to hear the words in his voice.
“Like them? Honey, I’d kill for them.” You narrowed your eyes at him but let the endearment go without comment. Already, you were softening up for him. “I could eat this whole goddamn plate.” He pulled another one open, no doubt burning the tips of his fingers but continuing on just the same, slathering it with both butter and jam before taking a huge, steam-filled bite. 
You ate yours slower, unsure what you liked best, the biscuit or watching him eat. 
He poured you a cup of coffee before pouring one for himself, and for a moment, your heart shattered at how right it felt to have him here. For the first time since he’d left, you let yourself feel just how lonely you’d been without him. 
“I know you’re angry with me.” He put the remnants of his biscuit down, “I know you think I abandoned you, picked up and found a new life outside of this place, but you have to know–” He reached over, taking your hand in his, “I never stopped thinking about you.” The tears flowed without your permission, what felt like years worth of them dripping steadily onto the bodice of your dress. “I have loved you since I was a boy, and I should have come back the second I thought something was wrong. I’ll never forgive myself for letting you worry or letting you imagine for a single moment that you weren’t everything to me. I know it’ll take time for you to trust me again, but I’ll work as hard as I can.”
You wanted to rip your hand away, to scream in his face and tell him to give you peace, but you couldn’t. Instead, you let the tears fall, let him stand and tentatively pull you towards him, let him crush you in the first hug you’ve had in years. For a moment, it’s as though you cannot get close enough, your hands like claws digging into the fabric of his overcoat, knuckles cramping from the force of your grip, and he sighs into your hair. The relief of the painfully familiar smell of him is so great that it almost knocks you off your feet. 
When you finally push him away, you know your eyes are puffy. 
“I believe you–” He smiles through his own tears, “-but I am still angry. I cannot just let go of my hurt. Not so quickly.” It takes everything in you, but you untangle yourself from him softly. “I have been living in this for so long, I don’t even know how to stop feeling this way.” The handkerchief that usually lived in your pocket made itself useful now. “I don’t even know where to begin. I loved you so much–” His face contorted in pain, the use of the word in the past tense like a stab to his heart. “-I don’t think I ever stopped. It’s the reason it hurts so much.” He let out a shaky breath, smiling a watery smile. 
“I know, I’ll work for it, I promise.” 
“I know.” 
He felt like he was flying. His steps were so light, surely he’d grown wings. He knew it was going to be a long road for them, but for the first time in years, he had hope. 
He couldn’t keep the smile off his face throughout the day, the feel of her in his arms, the smell of her in his nose, all of it made him feel like any errant puff of wind would blow him away. He had a skip in his step as he made his way over to the Sheriff's office, uncaring whether the man wanted him there or not. He had to keep his time away from her occupied with something, and learning what it took to do his job effectively was the next best thing. 
“I haven’t seen that look on your face in years, it meant trouble back then, and I doubt it’s changed.” Sheriff Carson frowned at him, “Your house all fixed up then?” He didn’t stop what he was doing, instead continuing as he spoke. 
“As fixed as it can be, sir, until the replacement window panes come in.” He sat in the chair in front of Carson without invitation. The man only grunted in response. 
“I want to start early, get a feel for what you do so I can do it properly.” At this, the older man looked up. 
“I know I wasn’t the easiest kid–” The older man scoffed at that but let him continue. “-Yes, yes, I know. I was a helion. I’m a man now, and I’ve grown up. I just want to keep this town safe, want to do my job.” The older man's eyes narrowed, and Francisco frowned. “Why did you say yes when I applied?”
“Part curiosity, part hope, I guess.” He set the pen down, leaning back in his chair, his arms coming to rest crossed on his belly. “You’ve always been a smart kid, Frank, and if you really are as grown up as I think you are, I think you got the makings to be a great sheriff. Especially if you’re anything like your daddy.” It was probably the nicest thing Carson had ever said to him. He didn’t know how to respond. 
“I just don’t want you to hurt that girl–” He raised his hands to forestall any response, “I know what you felt for her was real, but she was a shell when you left, and I don’t want to see her like that again. We clear?”
“Yes, sir. I’m here. I’m home for good.”
“Good, now let's get to work.”
-
Francisco was no stranger to hard work, but Carson seemed determined to make him jump through every single hoop in order to prove he could do this job. It didn’t deter him in the slightest, not with the promise of the life he’d always wanted so close on the horizon. Instead, he took notes, followed Carson, did everything he asked, and paid as much attention as he could, but secretly counted the hours until he would see her again. 
He heard the gunshots as he organized the disaster that was Carson’s filing system. 
“Suppose you oughta come with.” Carson slipped his holster on, handing a gun to him before leading the way toward the sound. 
A half-naked man was rolling around on the ground just outside the brothel, clutching at a blood-soaked arm. His eyes were wild with pain and anger, and he only seemed to get more frantic at the sight of the two of them approaching. 
“Sheriff! Arrest that woman!” He pointed with his good hand at the young woman on the porch. “Crazy bitch shot my damn arm-” 
“You put your hands on me, and you lose your hand! Them’s my rules!” She was screaming mad, a painful-looking shiner blooming on her pale face. 
“Enough!” Carson’s voice rang out loud enough to silence everyone within earshot, “Now–Who’s gonna tell me what happened? I can listen, or I can arrest the lot of you and be done with it.” He rested his weight on one leg, hand resting on the gun at his hip. 
The madame stepped out from behind the younger woman, her face austere. 
“I think it’s pretty obvious; he took a liberty, smacked my girl around, and he got bit.” She put her arm around the younger woman's shoulder. “Ethel is one of my best. Now she’s got this to deal with. He’s lucky she didn’t shoot his pecker off.” The man scoffed, pulling his shirt on as best he could before moving towards the women. 
“I don’t think so, pal,” Francisco spoke directly to him, pulling his own gun and holding it at his side in warning.
“I got witnesses, Carson. Lock this fucker up, and let us get back to work.”
“I’ll need to come in and get some statements, Mabel. You know that as well as I do. Frank, take this moron over to get patched up.” 
“So I’m just gonna lose my fuckin’ hand!?” He was incensed. 
“Lucky you didn’t lose your life. Now get out of my sight. I’m gonna give you until sundown to be out of here; if not, you can spend an undetermined amount of time in my jailhouse.” Carson’s voice held no room for anything but complete obedience, and after a tense moment, all of the air went out of him, and he let Francisco lead him toward the town physician. 
-
You tried not to be upset when he wasn’t waiting for you outside the apothecary at the end of the day; after all, he hadn’t said he would be. Instead, you locked up as usual and set about making your way home.
“Bluebell!” His voice rang out from behind you, making your head whip around. Your frown turned from annoyance to worry at the sight of dried blood on the white of his shirt. Your hands clutched at the collar of his shirt before you had a chance to catch yourself. 
“What happened?” Any and all propriety went right out the window with how frantically you pulled at his layers to see where the blood had come from. “Did you get hurt?”
“No, no, I’m fine–it’s not mine.” there was something in his voice that brought you back to your senses, a tenderness that pierced the very heart of you. His hands held onto yours for a moment before you pulled them away slowly. 
“Oh. I’m glad.”
“There was some trouble at the brothel. One of the girls shot some idiot who got handsy. I had to bring him to the physician.” The thought of him anywhere near the brothel made your hackles rise. You stamped the feeling away and continued your walk back home. He fell into step beside you. “What was that?” His smile was big now.
“What was what?”
“That look you just gave me.” He bumped his shoulder into yours, and you frowned. 
“What are you talking about? I didn't give you any look.” 
“You gave me a look, Blue, when I said the word brothel, a jealous look.” His smile was so wide you wanted to smack him. 
“I did not. You are free to do as you please. We aren’t married.” You kept your eyes on the horizon and did your best to ignore the bark of laughter he let out beside you. 
“Fine, I’ll drop it. I got no business in a brothel anyway. Even if I’m not married, yet.” 
You sighed, ignoring just how right he was. 
There was a man with a wagon waiting just outside his house as you passed it. 
“Can I help you?” He called out to the man outside his house. You can’t help but notice how he put himself between you and the stranger. 
“I have some window panes to deliver.” He walked around to the back of the wagon, uncovering it to show the cargo 
“Oh! Yes, I’ll take those.” He jogged over to the man, helping to bring the glass inside. You followed him despite yourself, unable to keep the frown off your face at the state of his home. You were still looking around when everything had been brought inside, and the man had been sent away. “It still needs work, but at least the windows will be intact.” You could see how he surveyed his home, his eye just as critical if not more than yours.
You set down your things. 
“Need to boil some water.” You hauled out the biggest pot you could find. 
“What?” He came over and took the pot from you, putting it onto the stove for you. 
“We need to boil water to clean these floors, and we should wash these windows too.” 
“Yes, but I can do it–” 
“Francisco. Go get water so we can boil it and get this place in order.” You raised your eyebrows at him and relished the way he watched you. He’d always liked it when you were assertive. 
“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled before heading out to his own well. 
Once the water was boiled, you got to work with a stiff brush while he set about replacing the broken windows. It wasn’t easy work, getting down on your knees to scrub the years worth of dirt and dust out of every nook and cranny embedded in the floorboards. It was worth it, though, to look up every so often and see the hard lines of him working, both his jacket and waistcoat shed and thrown onto a chair; his shirtsleeves rolled up. 
He’d always been beautiful to you, with his big brown eyes and his golden skin, the maddening dimple, even the curve in his nose. He was even more gorgeous now, with age and experience etched on his face, even hardened, he could still make you swoon. 
You gasped at the sting, snatching your hand back cat-quick. Blood beaded on your finger and dripped down onto the freshly washed floor, an errant piece of broken glass sitting on the floor. It was a few seconds before he was gathering you up from off the floor and guiding you to one of the chairs. 
“I’m okay, just a little cut.” He moved away for a moment, moving towards the back of the house. “Really, Frankie, I’m fine.” He came back with a few pieces of clean linen and a little jar of something clear; you can only imagine what it is.
“I know. I still want to clean and wrap it, though.” He set his things down, moving to the remaining boiled water on the stove to dampen one of the pieces of cloth, using it to clean the wound before opening the little jar. His eyes found yours then– ”You gonna be brave for me?” He held it over the cut, waiting for you to answer. “It’s going to hurt, but I know you’re gonna be good for me.” He winked and then splashed a little bit of the moonshine onto it. He may as well have stuck a hot poker into your hand. “There there, Blue, almost done.” 
By the time the stinging abates, your finger is wrapped up, and any evidence of injury is gone. 
“Thank you.” You held your hand close to your chest, ignoring the way it shook a bit. 
“Of course, I think we’re done for today. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I would like for you to eat something.” He pulled out what looked like some crusty bread and some dry meat. “It’s not much, but it’s what I have for right now.” He set it down in front of you, giving you everything he had to offer, and for the first time in years, you smiled at him. 
“Are you done with the windows?” 
“Yes, I just need to get rid of these broken pieces.”  He gestured to the pile on the counter. 
“Okay, let's go back to my place. I can make us dinner.” You stood to move, and he followed you, protesting for a moment. 
“But your hand–”
“My hand is fine. Let’s go.” You moved to pick up your things, but he stopped you, gently knocking your hand aside to carry them for you.
-
The stew came together as quickly as it could with the way your hand throbbed. The bread, too, and soon enough, you were both sitting at the table eating the steaming food quietly. He ate with gusto, and you wondered briefly if he’d been eating well in his time away. He looked strong, but then again, he’d always been broad. 
He pushed his bowl away with a dreamy smile, his hands coming to rest on his belly. 
“That was the best thing I’ve eaten since I left. Aside from the biscuits this morning, I mean.”
“I’m glad.” You finished eating as he sat there, enjoying his company far more than you’d ever admit. Once you were done, he grabbed your bowl and put it into the sink, pouring some of the leftover well water to begin cleaning up. “You don’t have to do that–”
“I know. You don’t have to feed me either. I’ll just clean these and then get out of your hair.” You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t convince him otherwise. 
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you, you’ve fed me better today than in the whole time I was gone.” You smiled to yourself, half exhilarated, half annoyed at just how much your anger at him had crumbled. “Okay-” He set the last plate on the drying rack before drying his hands, “-I desperately need a bath. I’ll get out of your way. See you tomorrow morning?” 
“If you want.” You followed behind him, trying your hardest to keep the hope out of your voice. 
“Of course, I want to see you tomorrow.” He moved in quickly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you had time to protest. “Goodnight Blue.” With a smile and a wink, he’s gone. 
-
Weeks passed, and it could not be said that Francisco Morales wasn’t a persistent man. No matter how hard you tried to hang onto that anger, he excelled in chipping away at it. He was true to his word about working on building back the trust that had been lost, spending any time away from his work with Carson split between you, and working on his house. 
He’d become quite the handyman in his time away, and he showcased that in the work he did in both his house and yours. He’d noticed your laundry line had broken and fixed it aggravatingly quickly. He spotted a few leaky spots in your roof and had them fixed at no cost to you, making you wonder just how much money he’d made while away. Aside from the windows and the cleaning you’d both done at his place, he’d replaced the more rundown furniture, and while it was missing some of the personal touches of his mother–it was definitely comfortable and livable once again. 
The intense loneliness and craving for intimacy had also hit you full force with his return. You found yourself thinking back to how things had been when you’d been young and wildly in love with each other. How his mouth had always found yours, how he seemed to need to be close to you, his arm often around your shoulder, his hand always finding a way to clasp yours. 
It was worse at night when other memories floated out of the isthmus of your mind, filling it with the visions of him above you, his tongue in your mouth, and his cock deep inside. You’d been young but eager to explore one another, and he had been nothing if not resourceful in finding any and all opportunities to get you out of your clothing. Now, the days were filled with new tortures, and you found yourself feeling jealous of the beads of sweat that rolled down his back, envious of the way his shirts seemed to hold him so tightly. 
The way his eyes tracked you didn’t help the situation; they were just as wild, just as beautiful, and just as open and honest as they’d always been. His desire for you shining out at you through their honeyed gaze. 
He’d been busy that morning, well and truly the sheriff now, and with that came more time away, giving you, in turn, more time alone. Or so you’d thought. The knock was loud, solid, and instantly, you knew it was him. You groaned, staring at the perfectly steaming water of the tub surrounding you. 
“Not now, Frankie!” You called out to him from the back of the house–hoping for a moment he’d let you enjoy the sweet steam surrounding you. His knock came again, and you huffed, stepping out of the oasis and wrapping yourself up in your dressing gown. “Frankie, I’m kind of in the middle of something–” You opened the door to him, and instantly, his gaze raked over you, no doubt seeing the way the damp fabric clung to your body, leaving nothing to the imagination. The dumbstruck look on his face filled you with such satisfaction that you let him look his fill before moving your eyes to bring his attention back up. “Can I help you with something?” 
“Uh–” He stumbled for a moment, his eyes moving back down to where the gown split, to where your leg and most of your thigh peeked through. “Um–I uh…”
“...You…?”
“Um…Sorry. I brought you a gift.” He shook his head for a minute before decidedly looking you in the eye. “I remember I took your copy; brought you a new one.” He held the book out to you, and for a moment, you forgot to be alluring. 
“Jane Eyre?” You grabbed the book, opening it up quickly. 
“I remember you reading it to me; thought maybe I could read it to you sometime.” His dimple shined, and you couldn’t help but leap into his arms. 
“Oh, Frankie, I love it! I have been looking for a copy forever!” You pressed your face into his neck and relished how tightly he held onto you in return, relished the feeling of his nose buried in the crook of your neck.
“God, Blue, you smell good enough to eat.” His words, his voice, they ran down your spine like a drop of ice on a hot day, hardening your nipples and making you ache for him. You pulled away, biting your lip as you stared at his mouth.
“You could come in… and read to me?” He smiled and closed the door. “I was just in the bath. I could get in and cover myself with a cloth. You could read to me while I bathe.” He nodded slowly, gulping before following you, making sure to grab a chair on his way. 
“Give me one minute to get in.” You closed the door, heart thumping at how the colour had gone out of his eyes, leaving them blown black. Within a few tense moments, you were back in the tub with the hangover of the lining cloth covering you under the milky, soapy water. “Okay–come in.” 
He looked almost pained as he pulled up the chair beside you, his eyes once again greedy in their quest to map whatever part of you he could see, which admittedly is more than you planned to show him with how transparent the lining is. 
“Shall I start at the beginning?” He flipped open the book, but his eyes were still locked on you. 
“Yes, please.”
“Very well.” He took a deep breath, and began, his deep, soothing voice the perfect accompaniment to the steaming water.
“Folds of scarlet drapery shut in my view to the right hand; to the left were the clear panes of glass, protecting, but not separating me from the drear November day–Oh, sorry, I already read that.” You smiled to yourself, enjoying the way he couldn’t seem to focus, the way he kept losing his place, and admittedly, it took everything in you not to pull him into the tub with you. 
“That’s okay. Can you help me with this?” You offered him the soapy washcloth, “My back? It’s so hard to get it on my own.” You batted your eyes at him, smiling the smile he’d never been able to resist, hoping it still worked its magic on him. 
“Let me rinse my hands first. I don’t want to muddy up this paradise.” He knocked the chair over in his haste to reach the washbasin you had on the counter. By the time he was finished and righting his seat, he had shed his topmost layers and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his biceps. 
You leaned forward, giving him access to the skin of your back and sighing at the closeness of him when he pressed the soapy cloth to it. 
“God, I missed you, Blue.” He rubbed at your shoulders slowly, his other hand slipping around to hold the top of your chest, just beneath the dip at the bottom of your throat. “Missed touching you, feeling you, kissing you.”
Your eyes closed, and you thought surely he must feel the way your heart raced just under your skin when his fingers curled softly around your neck. 
“Been dying to kiss you for years.” You felt then how the cloth had been discarded, and his bare hand spanned the smooth skin of your back, massaging at your shoulders and the top of your spine. “You ever miss me like that?” His voice was a soft rasp now, lulling you up and back into his hand, letting the linen go and looking up into his eyes. 
“Yes–I do, Frankie–all the time.” You bit your lip, staring at his mouth as he spoke. 
“Can I kiss you?” He moved forward an inch, leaning in as his hands worked their spell against your skin. 
“Yes-” You barely whispered the word before he pressed his mouth to yours softly. It was tender and oh so familiar, the way his lips moved against yours, his tongue seeking entrance and gaining it just like he’d done so many times before. Your kiss was a dance, the steps of which neither of you had ever forgotten. It ached, the way his mouth claimed yours, and you couldn’t help but lean into him, to reach up and hold onto him as he groaned into the kiss. 
“I have been dreaming about this since I left–” He spoke between kisses, pressing them to your face, before licking into your mouth once more, “Can I touch you?”
You nodded, chasing his mouth again. His hand slipped down, slick with soap, and then he held onto your breast, kneading one and then the other, his thumb strumming against the sensitive buds while your cunt leaked for him. His eyes moved, watching himself touch you, his lip caught between his teeth,and all of a sudden, it was too much, and you move, pulling away and standing, naked as the day you were born. 
“Take me to bed, Frankie.” He stared up at you from his place on the chair, and from the look on his face, you’d think he was looking at an angel. It didn’t last, though; within seconds, he was up and pulling you out of the tub, practically dragging you towards your bedroom. 
Your breath came out in a huff when you landed on your back, smiling breathlessly at the look of pure hunger on his face. He chewed his lip as he pulled off his layers, going through them quick enough that you genuinely worried he’d rip them. The water that had clung to your skin from the bath, now seeped into the sheets underneath you as you watched him undress. 
“I’m so fucking hard for you, Blue.” He kicked his denim off, tossing everything every which way, “So hard it hurts.” His cock bobbed as he finally crawled his way over to you, and it was then that you saw it, a significant scar on his side, like a starburst. Your hand reached out, and you pressed your fingers to it, looking into his eyes for an explanation. 
He pulled your hand up and kissed the tips of your fingers, “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” He continued his pilgrimage across your body, stopping only to kiss your sternum, your hip, and the soft skin of your belly. “I missed seeing you like this so much-“ he opened your legs, groaning at the way your cunt glistened for him. “-I missed how fucking wet you get, how good you taste-“ he barely finished speaking before he dove in, his tongue parting you further, gliding over your clit with desperation. 
“I missed you-oh-“ his hands clutched at your thighs, pulling you closer to his mouth, pulling the strings of your arousal to pool for his tongue. “That feels so fucking good, Frankie—“ Your hands found the short crop of his hair, unsure of whether you wanted to pull him up or grind against him. He huffed a cocky laugh into your skin, doubling his efforts and tightening his grip on your thighs, his fingers indented into the skin. The steady glide of his tongue against your clit, up and down, up and down, has you falling over the edge of the cliff and your thighs clamping around his head.
It didn't stop him; his tongue kept moving, slower as you rode out your high. He bit at the plump of your inner thigh as you relaxed, smiling and shiny with your arousal.
“I missed that too.” He moved, pressing his lips to your belly again, moving up and licking a hot stripe between your breasts before slotting his hips between your legs. His skin was so warm, so welcome, that you couldn’t help but sigh and pull him close, your fingers curling into his hair. 
“I wanted you to come back so badly-“ You covered every inch of his face in kisses, “Wanted you to stay with me, love me like this.” You licked into his mouth, tasting yourself in the kiss.
“I’m here, Honey, I’ll never leave you again-“ You can feel just how hard his cock is as it pressed into your belly, the two of you clinging to one another in the dying light of the day. 
“Promise me, promise me you won’t leave me.” You reached down and wrapped your hand around the sizable heft of him, stroking slowly while positioning him at your entrance.
“Fuck-I promise baby, I promise you-“ His sentence ended in a filthy moan as you pulled him in with your heels, pressing into the meat of his ass, finally having him inside you again after everything. 
You moaned at the way he filled you.
The last fifteen years melted away, the long stretch of loneliness feeling more and more like a dream with every deep stroke of his cock. 
There were no more words, only whimpers from you and deep groans from him. There was the rhythmic rocking of your bed and the slick sounds of him moving between your legs. His hips snapped faster and faster as he chased his release, burying his face into the crook of your neck to feed all the delicious sounds he made directly into your ear.
“I’m so close, touch yourself—“ his voice sounded wrecked, moving his hips like a piston, his cock kissing that one spot only he ever found. You obey and reach down to swirl your fingers around your clit, rocketing yourself closer to another, more intense orgasm. 
He moved his face down, holding onto your breast to suck on your nipple, and then the dam broke, and you clenched around him, moaning his name as you reached your peak. 
“Fuck, that’s it, that’s so good, oh god—I’m gonna come-“ his hips sped up, the wet sounds of his thrusts louder after your second climax. You opened your legs wide, giving him space to move, but he stayed put.
“Frankie-“ You started to speak, trying to guide him to spill on your belly; still, he didn’t move. Instead, he pushed in deep, groaning loudly, and it was with a sinking feeling in your stomach that you felt him twitch inside. 
You were frozen in place, momentarily shocked into silence.
“God—I’ve been dreaming of that for years.” He sounded drunk, pulling out of you with a hiss to take a good look at his handiwork. 
“Francisco, did you just do what I think you did?” Your tone was devoid of any sweetness. “Did you just spill inside me?” 
“Yes—“ he frowned, confusion colouring his face along with the flush of his exertion, “—I thought you’d forgiven me? We’re together again-“
“And me forgiving you means risking a baby?” You pulled away, wiggling out from under him to grab a linen shift from your drawer. 
“Wait, Blue, come back.” He moved to sit at the edge of the bed, “I’m sorry I didn’t think. It just felt right.” 
“Of course it felt right to you. You have no regard for how I might feel.” Your anger burned through you, where once there had been passion, it was now replaced with fear. A deep fear that the next time he decided to up and leave, it might not just be you waiting for him. 
“Don’t be like that, sweetheart, that’s not true-“
“I’d like you to leave.” Hot tears flowed down your face at the thought of being pregnant with his child, and alone, waiting to see how long it took him to return the second time.
“Baby, please—don’t make me leave, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that—“
“Leave! I want to be alone. Please just–just go home.” You wiped at your eyes before crossing your arms, doing your absolute best to avoid his gaze. He sighed loudly, moving slowly to gather his things, stopping only to put on his pants and his shirt before tucking tail and heading home.
-
He’d fucking blown it. 
By some miracle, he’d managed to get into her good books, his persistence and determination to show her just how madly in love with her he was–how in love with her he’d always been–weeks worth of it, and he’d messed up in a few minutes. A few glorious, amazing minutes. 
He couldn’t help but groan in annoyance with himself every time he remembered it, the euphoria of being with her again, being inside her, of having her wet and needy and so eager for him only to get lost in it and risk a baby they hadn’t yet discussed. Hadn’t even really discussed getting married, not since he’d come back. 
He didn’t even know why he’d thought it’d be okay. It had been purely instinctual but also irresponsible and disrespectful. It shamed him that he couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop craving it. He ignored it, though, continued on with showing her his reliability and hoped she understood that she was all he wanted. 
-
Sleep eluded you for days, refusing to find you until the blood came. It wasn’t much better when it finally did, though. There was the initial relief, of course, there would be no child born out of wedlock, and you would not be treated like a pariah, but where did that leave you? He apologized for it, constantly. He groveled, he begged for your time and for your love and forgiveness, and it was his. It was there–ready for him, but the fear hid it away. 
No matter how consistent he’d been in his time back, no matter how much he’d assured and explained that he wasn’t going to leave, it still felt like there was a clock ticking somewhere you couldn’t see, counting down the seconds until you’d be alone again. 
You tried to focus on other things, filling your days with organizing your home, with clearing out things that no longer served you, things that you had brought over from when your mother died and had actively ignored or hidden away until genuinely forgotten. There were old, moth-eaten rags that had once been her clothes, a few books, and an old hairbrush. Amongst her things, though, was a bundle of paper, a fat wad of it. 
Confused, you pulled it apart and very quickly realized that they were letters and they were addressed to you. It was jarring to see your name in Frankie’s script and harrowing to realize that you’d had them the whole time without knowing. 
With shaking hands, you opened them one by one, and by the third, the tears obscured your vision. 
My Dearest Bluebell, 
I know you must be angry with me, things aren’t moving as quickly as they should, but this changes nothing–I’m still coming home to you–
He talked about his time in the war, about how differently they did things where he was, and about how much money he was saving, but between all that was the same promise of return. It was everywhere, that–and his pleas for a response from you. 
Please sweetheart, I need to hear from you, please let me know you’re okay, and that you don’t hate me–
You sobbed into them. The words were like wounds, the pain of being alone for so long is even sharper now than it had been before. He had been true to his word, writing letter after letter without a single word from you, and despite the pain of knowing that fact, you read every single one. The dates were consistent, every week, almost like clockwork, except for once–when there were a few months between two letters. 
Bluebell, my love, 
I am okay–but I was hurt. I barely remember what happened, but one minute I’m in the middle of it, fighting, and the next minute I was screaming and then blackness, until I woke up in a hospital. Nurse says I’m lucky to be alive and that I’m going to be okay–
It was too much, all of it, and despite the fact that it was late and he was most certainly asleep, you had to see him. 
The moon followed you on your walk towards his house, lighting the path and keeping you company. There was a soft glow shining out from one of his windows, and it inspired hope, making it easier to knock on the door despite the hour. 
There was movement on the other side of the door, his heavy footsteps padding across the old floorboards.
“Who’s there?” Suspicion threaded thickly through his words, and you couldn’t blame him; this was no hour for anyone to come calling.
“I need to talk to you. Can I come in?” Your voice was shaky, the tears had abated while you made your way over, but the worried look on his face when he opened the door threatened to let them flow once more.
“What’s the matter? What happened?” He was shirtless, holding his pistol at his side while he looked beyond you to inspect the horizon. “Come in, come in—“ He closed the door behind you, setting the pistol down with a frown. “What’s the matter, Blue? Why are you out at this hour?” 
“I—“ you choked on the word, clutching at his letters, “Frankie, I found them, my mother—“ you sobbed out words, choking on them before he sighed. 
“Oh Honey, please don’t cry.” He gathered you up, pulling you into the strong cage of his arms, and it was like the floodgates cracked open wide. One palm held the back of your head, and the other was wrapped around your waist. “You didn’t know, it’s okay.”
“I, I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry,” your voice cracked with the agony of all of the lost years, “you wrote so many letters, and I never answered any of them, and you got hurt—oh god, you could have died!” It was hard to tell if you were screaming or sobbing anymore.
“Hey! Hey! Shhh, it’s okay, baby,” he rubbed your back, a soothing gesture, “Hey, stop, stop, take a deep breath, I’m fine. I survived. There was nothing you could have done. I know you would have written to me if you’d gotten my letters, if you knew.” He pressed his lips to your temple. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner. I shouldn’t have left without you.” 
“I should have known she’d do something like this. I–” You pulled away to look up into his eyes, “I am so angry at her. She let you carry on, just hid them without a care–even though she knew I was heartbroken.” You brushed his hair back before hugging him again. 
“She never did like me. It was pretty cruel of her to do that to both of us.” He was being much more gracious about it than he should have, a testament to his love for you that he didn’t want to bash your mother despite the damage she’d done. 
“Miserable old bitch.” You had no qualms about calling her what she was. 
“Forget about her. It’s okay now. Thankfully, we’re together again.” He grabbed his pistol and led you further into the house. 
-
Your fingers drew the shapeless pattern onto the warm skin of his chest for what must have been the hundredth time since the both of you tumbled into his bed an hour ago. It was still pitch black outside, the only light being a candle on his bedside. The sun would creep in soon enough, though, and when it did, it would find the two of you clinging to one another. 
“I hate that you went through this alone.” Your fingers migrated down to the starburst on the side of his lower stomach, tracing the edges of it softly. 
“I’m lucky, I made a full recovery.” His voice was soft, “I saw others get much worse.”
“That doesn’t minimize this, Francisco, you could have died out there, and I never would have known.” You squeezed your eyes together for a moment, ignoring the implications, “Can you ever forgive me? For not writing?” 
“Only if you can find it in you to forgive me for being away so long and for what happened.” He pulled your hand up, pressing your knuckles to his lips.
“You’re forgiven for everything.” You frowned, “We hadn’t discussed our future, everything was still so up in the air, and I was terrified to get pregnant. Not because I don’t want to have your children, I was just terrified you'd leave me again and then I'd be here, alone and with a baby.” His face fell, guilt swirling around his features. “That was before. I believe you when you say you won’t and that you’re here for good.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek, then to his lips.
“I understand why that would have scared you. I shouldn’t have done it without permission, though. It was careless of me.” He pulled you closer, relishing in the contact just like he had in the early days. There was a beat, a comfortable silence, and it stretched on for a while, the two of you content to lay there until the stiffness of your dress pulled you away. He helped you take it off until you were in your simple shift, and then you took your place beside him once more.
“Francisco?” You murmured, wondering if he’d fallen asleep.
“Yes?”
“I never said, but I’m sorry about your parents.” He’d been gone for years when they passed. 
“Me too.” He didn’t say more, and you didn’t press. “You should get some rest. Will you stay with me?”
“Yes, I don’t want to go.” He got up for a moment, pulling the rest of his layers off before blowing out the candle.
“Good, I didn’t want you to leave.” He slipped into the bed, pulling his sheet over the both of you before pulling you in close. “Goodnight, Honey.”
“Goodnight, Frankie.” 
-
The sun shone bright enough to shoo the last vestiges of sleep away. It found you warm and comfortable under the comforting weight of his arm over your belly and his leg tangled with yours. He looked younger, asleep and you could almost see him just as he was when he’d left, fresh-faced and eager to see and do as much as he could. That fire for life and all it entailed, burning brightly in every expression. 
Your thumb traced the line of his jaw first, sweeping up his chin to glide across his pursed lower lip. He twitched but didn’t wake, only tightened his grip on you. Your thumb slid up, following the curve of his nose, up to smooth across his brow. 
He stirred again, humming softly before pressing closer still, burying his face into the crook of your neck and tickling you with his moustache. 
“Is it morning already?” His voice was sleepy but laced with pure joy. 
“Yes, it is. How did you sleep?” Your tone matched his, his joy was contagious, hope and happiness swirling in the air much like the dustmotes that danced in each shaft of light. Your hands had migrated down, fingers flitting across his broad back, relishing every inch, every errant freckle. 
“Better than I have in years. How about you?” His lips made their own pilgrimage, from just below your ear, down the column of your neck, and down to your shoulder; each press of his lips widening the smile on yours. 
“I slept really well. I forgot how warm you get when you sleep.” He laughed at this, good-hearted. 
“Good, means you don’t need to wear this–” His hands slid under your shift, grabbing greedily at your thighs, then your backside. 
“Very clever. Don’t you need to get up and go to work, Sheriff? Or am I under arrest?” There was no real bite behind your words. 
“Hmm, I don’t know, are you? Are you here to confess to a crime? Aside from stealing my heart, that is.” You let out a bark of laughter, rising slightly to let him take the shift off of you despite the game. 
“Is that what I’ve done? Stolen your heart?”
“Oh yes, years ago. First day you smiled at me, come to think of it.” He nodded sagely for a moment before pressing his lips to yours softly, making you both melt and drip for him. 
“Well then, I guess I deserve my punishment.” You reached down, shimmying out of your underthings to bare yourself to him. He bit his lip before dipping low to lick at the stiff peak of your breast, soft as his kiss, before taking your nipple into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks. You moaned, watching him enraptured. 
“I’ll be just and fair.” He smiled, after letting go with a pop, moving to the next one to give it the same treatment. Your fingers curled into his short crop while your thighs pressed together to alleviate the aching at your core. He sucked harder, frantically, and then there was the edge of pain when he bit softly, making you gasp for a second before he once again soothed with his tongue. 
“God, woman, you make me crazy.” His eyes were wild for a moment before he claimed your mouth again, his tongue plundering without mercy. 
“I want you, Frankie–give it to me.” You reached down to grasp him in hand, but he moved away, denying you. 
“I want to make you feel good. Let me taste you again.” He moved down, his lips mapping a course down to where you wanted him most. 
“I want you, though, Frankie, want you to make me sore. You can use your mouth later.” You held your arms out to him, and although he stared at your mound with hunger, he obeyed. 
You spread your legs for him, and he slots his hips, pulling your legs high onto his thighs for a moment before sheathing himself in you with one brutal, delicious stroke. 
“God, Frankie, you’re splitting me open.” You moaned the words into his ear, and his head dropped into your neck, groaning at your words. 
You reach down to hold onto his ass, grabbing onto it as he thrusts. 
“You want me like this? Or you want me on my knees like you used to like?” You whispered, and he moaned, his hips stuttering for a moment before pulling out. It was the only answer you needed before you moved to get into position, presenting yourself to him. 
His thighs pressed against the backs of yours, his hand landing heavy on one ass cheek before he entered you from behind. He felt deeper this way, hitting something otherworldly with each press. 
“That’s my girl, you gonna take my big dick Honey?” You moaned into your forearm, arousal burning bright as a coal in the pit of your belly from his words, from the slick sounds of your joining, from the way your nipples grazed against his bedding. 
He bent forward, pulling at your arms to hold them behind your back, and once he did, his efforts doubled. He was a piston, ramming into you hard enough to make your breasts bounce, hard enough to make you scream for him. 
He moved you again, pulling you up to meet the solid wall of his chest, his chin hooking over your shoulder, one hand holding onto your breast, the other sliding down to swirl around your clit, shoving you headlong into a blinding climax. 
“That’s it, baby, God, I can feel you squeezing my cock. Where do you want me to come? Can I come on your ass?” His words sounded frantic, and you nodded, barely whispering the words. 
“Yes, Frankie–” He let you go, and you pressed your face into the mattress once more, spreading your legs a little wider before you felt him pull out, feeling the way his hand grabbed and spread you open while the other one pumped between your legs. You felt the hot spurt of him on the cheeks of your ass and the small of your back just as you heard the filthy groan he let out. 
You both caught your breath for a moment, riding the wave of release before he moved and within a few minutes, he passed a cool, wet cloth across your skin, cleaning his mess off before discarding it and falling into bed beside you. 
There was sweat on his brow, there was sweat on yours, too, but it didn’t matter, the euphoria was rich and sweet as fresh cider. 
“I missed you so much, Frankie.” You turned to face him fully, the two of you naked and comfortable. 
“I missed you too, Honey.” He pulled you close, wrapping you up in his arms, where you belonged. 
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multific · 1 year ago
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Doctor’s Secrets
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Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: During a very difficult and convoluted case the team stumbles into a secret. Soon they will figure out just how smooth Spencer Reid can really be.
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"The man we are looking for targets lonely married women. Women with husbands who have jobs which keep them from home. The unsub is in his early 40s and has a criminal record of violence." As Gideon kept on going to explain to the officers just who they are looking for, Reid had a sudden realization. "This is his way of punishing the husband and the wife at the same time. In his eyes, the husband is guilty of not taking care of her and she is a cheater, much like how his parents were when he was a child. He is violent and often angry. Road rage and public meltdowns are common for the unsub."
"I have to make a call." Reid told Hotch as he suddenly rushed out to make his call.
The team did notice that Reid was rather nervous the entire day, he kept fidgeting and he was uncharacteristically weird. Spencer kept on staring at his phone as if he was waiting for a text or a call. 
But no one questioned it.
"You good, Kid?" well no one except for Morgan, of course.
"Yes, I am. I'm only worried a little."
"What this unsub got you scared?"
"I'm... kind of..."
This is when an officer walked over to the room where the team was, knocking on the door.
"Dr Reid, as you requested, your wife is here."
The entire team looked at Spencer.
"WIFE?!" called out Garcia through the phone before she ran to find them.
---
You were sitting at home, working when your phone rang.
"Hi Babe." you said as you started to drink your tea.
"Y/N, I sent a car to you, there is a serial killer out there, his profile... he is killing women like you, the police car will be there soon, please just go with them, they will bring you to me." he sounded extremely worried, and you knew what you needed to do. 
"I will be fine, Spencer, they just arrived, I'm coming to you."
You heard him let out a long sigh and without another question, you gathered your purse and headed to the cop car.
When you arrived at the station you had no idea what to do.
Spencer always kept you very far from his job so you won't be affected like he once was. 
You never minded him keeping you so far from his line of work it did help a lot for you to help him through the harder times.
Spencer and you have been married for the last three years and before that dating for years, his team didn't know about you because he chose not to mention you to any of them. 
It was the reason why he always kept his wedding band at home, you weren't really a fan of him not wearing it but you understood.
But now, when he called you, he did make you worry a lot.
Talking about a serial killer who targeted women like you.
"Y/N," you heard your name being called and when you turned you saw Spencer, a smile find its way onto your lips.
"Hi." he went over to you and gave you a hug. "I'm all good." you said when you felt him tighten his grip around you.
"I'll introduce you, come on." he grabbed your hand and guided you into a room. The room was filled with files and photos on a board but for now, you tried to focus on the people as all of them introduced themselves one by one.
"Hi, my name is Penelope, very lovely to meet you."
"Hi, I'm Y/N Reid, nice to meet you as well."
"While we figure things out, Garcia please look after, Mrs Reid." said Hotch.
"OH! I will show you my magic room!" the kind woman chirped as you nodded, you understood they had a job to do.
Penelope was a very nice woman, her room, was filled with monitors and she kept on going over them.
"Can-Can I ask you something?" you asked as you rolled over to her in your chair. 
"Of course,"
"Spencer said that the killer targets women like me. Can-Do you know what he meant?"
"From what I heard, the killer targets women with husbands who stay away for longer periods, this is his way of punishing the people who are like his parents were."
"I see, I was trying to think if I have seen or heard anything but-"
"This is not your fault, Spencer did well on protecting you as he should."
"I know but, there are women out there who don't have a husband with such knowledge, they are in danger. I cannot help but think that while I had the opportunity to run away and hide, many of them don't."
"Don't blame yourself, Sweetie. This is not your fault at all. And you being here helps Spencer concentrate so they can catch the killer faster."
"Thank you."
"Of course," she smiled as the phone rang, she picked up, it was on speaker.
"Talk to me, Hot Stuff."
"Garcia, can you check on a Dr Thomas Jones?"
"Works in New Jersey, family medicine doctor, no criminal record, divorced, his wife now lived in California... guess she ran as far as she could."
"Oh God." Garcia looked at you as you said that. "I know him."
"Y/N? What do you mean?" Derek said on the phone. 
"He was my doctor, I used to go every other month for a check-up. He-He tried to hit on me many times but I told him I'm married. I always thought he was weird."
"Good, thanks, we can use that against him. Thanks, Garcia, Y/N."
Derek hung up the phone as you looked at Penelope.
"One time, I went because I had a fever, he was touching me but I thought I was only imagining it because I had a high fever. I didn't go to him after that."
"So, that's how he chooses his victims. He knows about your husband, he has all of your info."
"The sick bastard. I should have told Spencer."
"It's okay, Y/N. We will catch him now." you nodded as she began to type. You moved back to the table but you couldn't concentrate. You just hoped the horror would end.
You and Penelope went to get some coffee when Spencer barged into the kitchen.
"We got him." he smiled and you saw him letting out a long sigh. You smiled at him as you put your mug down, heading over and giving him a hug.
"I'm proud of you." you said as you pulled away, returning to your coffee.
"SO, as I was saying, the store had a sale but the bag I had my eyes on for months, just disappeared." Penelope groaned behind you as you turned to look at him, sitting down by the table, you turned to Spencer.
"I can wait for you, if you have paperwork."
"Okay, I'll try and be quick." he smiled and you nodded before you returned to the conversation with Penelope. 
Spencer run to his desk as he sat down he noticed Derek looking at you from where he was sitting by his desk.
"You got lucky, Reid." Derek said. "But why keep it a secret?" Morgan now looked at Spencer. 
"I thought we were friends, you could have told us." Emily now also sat down at her desk joining the conversation.
"It was a small wedding, only her parents and my mum, that's all I had time for. But she didn't mind, she said she understands that I'm busy. She often says she wouldn't have married me if she didn't know what it comes with." Hotch hearing that, really felt a pain in his chest, but everyone else could only smile at Spencer.
"Let's go out for a drink sometime, so we can get to know her like Garcia did." said Jason Gideon as he grabbed his bag and left for the weekend.
Spencer could only smile as he soon finished his report.
"Let's go home." you turned around at his voice. 
"Let me grab my bag." you headed back to Garcia's room. "It was nice meeting with all of you." you said to everyone as you waved goodbye. Spencer's hand was on your waist as he guided you to the elevator.
"Garcia?" asked Hotch as everyone looked at him.
"She is perfect, so kind and smart." Hotch nodded before heading back to his office.
Everyone was more intrigued now, they all wanted to get to know you.
No one could believe that their boy-wonder was keeping such secrets.
As Spencer started to drive, you turned to him.
“I really like your team.”
“They like you too.” he smiled.
“Do you think I could get to know them better?”
“Of course, Gideon already wants to go out for drinks so he could talk with you.”
“Oh great, cannot wait to get profiled by him.”
“Well-”
“Shut it! I know you already did but I don’t want to know!”
“You got it, Darling.”
“Penelope is a sweetheart, she gave me so many names of stores to get clothes.”
“Please don’t start dressing like her. I like your style already.” you smiled at that.
“Thank you, Spencer. I know I should have told you about Dr Jones... but you are already so busy.”
“I’m never too busy for you, Love.” he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it.
You soon arrived home, took a nice shower and hit the bed. You were always very worried that his team won’t like you, but now, after meeting them, you felt at ease.
You just couldn’t wait to meet them once again, after all, they are your husband’s second family.
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wheelsgoroundincircles · 2 months ago
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1974 Pontiac Grand Ville
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1974 Pontiac Grand Ville
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1974 Pontiac Grand Ville
The Pontiac Grand Ville is a full-size car that was a sub-series trim package for the Pontiac Bonneville from 1971 to 1975, which had served as Pontiac's top-trim model since 1958 while remaining below the top level Pontiac Grand Prix
The Bonneville name remained but was now downgraded, and in effect replaced the Pontiac Executive. The Grand Ville and Bonneville shared a number of trim and design elements that distinguished them from the Catalina, and the 1971-72 Grand Villes were built on a stretched-wheelbase version of the GM "B" platform that nevertheless had identical interior dimensions to all other full-size Pontiacs.
In addition to more luxurious interior trimmings, the Grand Ville had distinctive chrome trim at the front and rear to set it apart from the rest of the Pontiac line. Between 1971 and 1974 Grand Ville hardtops featured more upright "formal" C-pillar and backlight treatments that were similar to those found on contemporary GM "C" platform cars (Oldsmobile Ninety Eight and Buick Electra) and not shared with the Bonneville or Catalina. For 1974 only, the Grand Ville had unique parking lights which wrapped around the corner of the front fender. The car was often sold with deluxe appearance options, such as sport wheels and vinyl tops. Rear fender skirts were featured on the 1973 to 1975 models.
Standard equipment on Grand Ville models included a 455 cubic-inch V8 (for 1975, a 400 cubic-inch V8 was standard and the 455 optional), Turbo-Hydramatic automatic transmission, power steering and power front disc brakes. Popular options included air conditioning, power windows and driver's seat, tilt steering wheel, cruise control, AM/FM stereo with tape deck and much more. One of the rarest options available on Grand Villes and other full-sized Pontiacs during this period was the adjustable brake and accelerator pedals offered from 1974 to 1976.
The Grand Ville enjoyed moderate success from 1971 to 1973. However, the oil crisis of late 1973 and early 1974 led to gasoline shortages, long lines at filling stations, and high fuel prices. These factors sharply cut into full-sized car sales in 1974 as buyers moved towards smaller cars. For 1975, the Grand Ville became the Grand Ville Brougham and included more standard equipment than in previous years, such as power windows and a carpeted trunk. This would be the final year for the Grand Ville series, which included Pontiac's last convertible until 1983. For 1976, the Grand Ville nameplate was dropped and the lineup was renamed Bonneville Brougham, returning that nameplate back to its former full-size top trim level status.
Grand Ville convertibles were rare, with production never exceeding 5,000 units per year during the model run. From 1973 to 1975 the Grand Ville was Pontiac's only full-size convertible offering; 1971 and 1972 full-size Pontiac convertibles were offered in the entry level Catalina line as well. (There were no convertible Bonnevilles after the 1970 model year.) The rarest of the Grand Ville convertibles was the 1971 model with just under 1,800 examples built. The 1975 model was the most plentiful with just over 4,500 cars built, as being the final year of production increased demand. The Grand Ville convertible had the lowest production amongst its corporate cousins, the Oldsmobile 88 Royale, Buick Centurion and the Chevrolet Caprice Classic convertible lines.
Starting with 1973 through 1975 the Grand Ville was offered as a station wagon as the Grand Safari.
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canonkiller · 2 months ago
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The Eberron maincamp has unfortunately prematurely ended, so (with DM clearance) I'm going to share the stuff I'd had as spoilers so it can be known, for funsies.
Here's some bonus links -
Delta, Bravo, Lima (character playlist)
Renegade (bgm playlist)
writing treat 1
writing treat 2
writing treat 3
early test for characterization
crew assessments + reasonings
house lyrandar medical record, classified
- and here's some of the information about Valka Rotaeir, captain and pilot of the airship Revelation, and two more images because the read more breaks if I try to move them.
Dossier of House Lyrandar:
NAME: Valka Rotaeir AGE: 71 yrs. (b. 927yk) HEIGHT: 7 ft. 3 in. WEIGHT: 244 lbs. SPECIES: Dragonborn (Green) TITLE(S): Cpt., Ms.
EMPLOYMENT RECORD: Civilian recruited by Cpt. Adelaide Mallory in 948yk. Served well as navigator and representative until the Treaty of Thronehold ended the war in 996yk. Returned to service in 997yk as navigator aboard the Revelation after its post-war refitting. Survived the unforeseen accident that occured during the Revelation's test flights over the Endworld Mountains along with four others who retired from active duty after the incident. Following a recovery period, she was promoted to Cpt. of the Revelation as Cpt. Mallory was rendered incapable of command during the incident, for exemplary action and demonstration of skill beyond her station and duty.
Rotaeir has shown distaste for the House and the war throughout her employment, but has not publicly denounced either and remains dedicated and hardworking. Her experience is vital to the House; losing her is not an option. Cede whatever is needed to maintain her connection to the House. If this fails, take necessary measures.
Valka was formerly the ship's navigator and diplomatic representative as a knowledge domain cleric. The Revelation was in active duty during the war, and Valka was a late addition to the crew, recruited by her then-future husband, Roshan. The two of them had a strong relationship despite the war, and while both wanted to retire, Roshan's dragonmark bound him to piloting duty and Valka refused to leave him.
During the late years of the war, they had a child together. Valka entrusted her egg to a caretaker in secret, fearing it would be damaged or killed if she kept it with her on the ship. The settlement it was in was later targeted; though the two of them searched for years (and Valka never truly stopped) they were never able to find the egg or its remains in the ruins.
After the war, with Roshan kept in duty by the House, a mechanical failure in the experimental drive of the Revelation led to a catastrophic crash that killed most of her crew. Valka survived at the cost of her husband's life; Roshan, her Rose, made the choice to sacrifice himself to save her, grafting his arm and eye - and his dragonmark - to save her life in the hopes that she would be able to help whoever was left until they were rescued.
Awarded prestige and merits for her survival, and resenting all of them for praising that she had survived what her family had not, Valka suffered - and continues to suffer - lingering pain and migraines from the crash. Her grafted arm is unresponsive and is kept immobile, and her grafted eye has light sensitivities that dragonborn nervous systems are not equipped to handle, granting her night vision but requiring a cover in ordinary light. The dragonmark haunts her more than anything else; as something meant to die with its bearer, what does it mean that it transferred to her? Was Roshan able to rest in peace, or does she drag his spirit with her?
The house took advantage of her fragile state after the crash and convinced her of Roshan's continued presence as being bound to the airship, a belief that she still holds, while publicly covering up the truth of the crash and Valka's inherited dragonmark. She was bound back into service by the mark, as it allows her to pilot the ship and its experimental, secretive systems. The Revelation is her family, her love, and her airship, and she will defend it with her life - to do anything else would be to abandon Roshan.
And, in Sharn, a now-grown dragonborn named Zykr looks strangely familiar... (Hi, Andy!)
With the House bearing down on her lack of respect for their authority, she has gone rogue; drawn under the influence of the Lord of Blades and allied with warforged forces, she only seeks a way out - to take the Revelation and leave this stupid, angry war behind, at any cost.
Depending on how things went, there was a chance she would end up at Wanderstrand - that's for a post later today, because I had to keep that one REALLY secret, but it's half of the 3rd writing treat link.
Trivia:
Valka's tarot card is the three of swords.
Her character playlist title is in international maritime signal flags: Keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty / I am taking in or discharging or carrying dangerous goods. / Stop immediately.
Rotaeir is a simple combination of the valkyrie names Róta (sleet and storm) and Eir (peace, clemency, help, mercy). Valka just sounded right.
Though not on her paperwork, she took a translated version of the Revelation's name (Saksatkara) as her own surname after the crash
Receiving the dragonmark replaced her existing clerical abilities; narratively, she lost faith in the gods and her own experience that granted her a knowledge domain, and instead only had faith in the destruction and grief that the storm domain had brought her.
Roshan's dragonmark spans her whole grafted arm; it glows faintly when oh board the ship, and brightness increases with how much energy she has focused into using it. At full effort, it is bright enough to glow through the brace / sling.
Mechanically, she can strike anyone who damages her with an immediate lightning strike.
While neither of her eyes retain their original color, she had golden eyes like Zykr. They also share a heart-shaped chest marking.
Valka's physical difference from Zykr was a worldbuilding adjustment; half dragonborn would have had more humanoid body shapes, while full dragonborn more closely resembled dragons. It never came up.
After being briefly dead, Zykr began having visions of being on a boat with a person he didn't recognize; he was seeing though Valka's eyes, unknowingly looking at his own father, Roshan. Surprise, Andy! There would have been more hints about it in Sharn if we'd gotten to explore some more.
Original reference document text:
Valka is an elderly dragonborn woman, weathered by the past years of war. She is snakelike in appearance, wiry and lithe at 7'3", with a longer neck, body, and limbs. She stands slouched, leaning heavily on a polearm that doubles as a makeshift cane; often heavily bundled against the cold, her right leg is braced under her clothes and her right arm and hand are entirely covered by a black brace buckled in faded brass, kept immobile against her chest by a sling. Her scales are mottled dark greens and yellows, graying around her eyes, muzzle, and knuckles, and she has many visible scars from old battles on all visible skin. The right side of her face is badly burned, and her eye on that side is entirely covered by a large patch. Her other eye is milky white; it's uncertain whether she can see our of her visible eye or if the patch isn't opaque.
Boot on braced leg has a special hook on the heel that she can clip to the harness strap on her thigh to keep is raised / out of the way if mobility is more important than stability. Safety harness extends down the upper part of her tail; anchors to this instead of her braced leg when necessary.
Though not visible, the eye under the patch is unnervingly human-like (as it originally belonged to Roshan), and if her arm brace were removed, the arm underneath is also distinctly not her own; she is unable to move the replacement limb at all, and the dragonmark on it does not move to anywhere else on her body though she can utilize its power.
As a child, Valka was often drawn to the idea of traveling. She restrained her desire to leave for many years, bound by ties to her family and home, until a chance meeting with Roshan, an airship pilot, during the war. In an impulse, whirlwind romance, she joined him in his travels and quickly became an indespensible member of the crew and Roshan's partner. They were married during the war, but hesitated to start a family, fearing the kind of world they would be raising a child in while Roshan's mark kept him in duty. Over time, they found comfort in a future seemingly without children, though they pledged to do what they could to adopt or foster if the war ended with enough time for them to do so.
Valka was one of many overjoyed to see a time of peace, and hoped to start a proper life with her husband even with their age. Unfortunately, a series of malfunctions in their shared airship led to a crash that left both them and their crew grievously injured in a remote mountain range. Valka, having lost her right arm and with severe trauma to her entire right side, was barely conscious; she awoke hours later to her arm replaced and her injuries magically repaired, and to Roshan dead, having chosen to sacrifice himself to keep her alive. Most importantly to the House, his dragonmark was still present - a glowing brand on the arm grafted improperly to replace Valka's own.
Abruptly alone, dealing with the trauma of the crash and her own guilt in her survival being at Roshan's expense, she was taken to trial and found not guilty. Feeling cheated by this verdict and losing faith in both justice and the afterlife (after all, if a dragonmark was bound to a person's soul, what did it mean that she could now take power from it? Had she damned her lover to a kind of half-life, or worse, an eternal purgatory?) she threw herself into religion with a self-destructive determination, secretly hoping the gods would recognize her believed wrongdoing and judge her properly where mortal courts had failed.
When presented with an opportunity to sabotage the project that led to Roshan's death, she took it, taking control of the airship and going rogue with the intent to destroy it either by her own hand or by forcing any pursuers to take it down with her. At present, she is driving it as far from settlements as possible to achieve this goal with as little loss of life as possible, and does not know what she will do with herself when this act is complete.
For characterization purposes, her actions will be influenced by:
- Like The Back of Her Hand: even when the Revelation is being piloted by someone else, her long familiarity with it means she is incredibly difficult to catch off guard. In its current state, she would notice anything out of place on board; this will decrease as the ship is modified.
- Blindsided: her left eye, uncovered, is blind, while her right eye, covered by a patch, still functions. The patch dims light, but still allows her to see.
- Local Doctors Hate Her!: her right arm is entirely immobile on its own, but the brace can be locked into different positions (ex, she can lean on her elbow, but wouldn't be able to pick something up.). Her right leg is stiff, and she is able to strap it up so she's less likely to trip. She is used to moving around the Revelation on one or both legs, but prefers both on unfamiliar terrain.
- House, Not Home: Valka has little care for the interests of the dragonmarked Houses, and may be more likely to take actions that damage the resources or reputation of a House.
- A Ship That Loves You: Valka believes her husband's spirit is entwined with the ship's elemental, a belief that the House has intentionally used as leverage against her. If she cannot have the ship on her own terms, her alternative goal will be to destroy it and herself - but will put her life on the line to prevent others from damaging it.
- An Empty Nest: Valka has no contact with her extended family and has no reason to believe she has any living immediate relatives. She has formed few relationships since the Revelation's crash.
- The Soils of War: Valka does not want to fight, though she will if she must. Her anger is directed at herself, at the gods that failed her, and the Houses that force her into their service. She wants to escape it, to lick her wounds, and to rest; to discover what the world is becoming in a time of peace that she has not had the chance to know.
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sxfterhearts · 7 months ago
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cafe crush
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ jiung x reader (+ side co-worker!theo) ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
♡ genre/warnings: just fluff!!
♡ word count: 2,371 words
♡ summary: 88. “I'll see you later.”
♡ author’s note: i have not written in literal YEARS. but this is a quick one that i whipped up due to a) my ongoing obsession with p1harmony, b) that cursed gif of jiung in the purple hoodie asdfghjhkld, c) my own experience (aka this is heavily based on my cafe crush HAHA) and d) a sudden itch to write?! i'm so rusty, so expect nothing. enjoy!!!! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
//
“Just ask for his number!”
“Oh my goodness, stop it!” You hissed at your co-worker, Theo, elbowing him in the ribs. “You’re being so obvious.”
“Oh, shut it.” He retorted, trying to defend himself. Mere seconds ago, Theo was teasing you and laughing boisterously, attracting the attention of some other café patrons. “Not nearly as obvious as when you ogle at him as if he’s your prince charming or something.”
“Not true!”
“So true!”
“Who’s next?” The barista called out from behind the counter. You nudged Theo forwards in response, hoping to linger at the end of the line for a bit longer to catch a glimpse of your prince charming.
Well, okay, you were being dramatic.
He’s not technically your prince charming. He’s not your anyone, really. But he is the super-hot-waiter-who-works-at-the-café-you-frequent-with-your-colleagues-everyday (you figured prince charming was a shorter and more convenient name).
It all started out as an innocent crush – someone who piqued your interest, really. You noticed a month or two ago that there was a new face at your regular café. He was probably around your age, perhaps slightly older, with strikingly silver hair. The first time you laid eyes on him, you nearly choked on your iced latte. He had the kindest eyes that turned into little crescents and a bright smile on his perfect face as he spoke calmly to the café’s never-ending patrons and urged them to write their names down on the waiting list. You even saw him put out a bowl of water for a cute corgi like a true angel, all while taking pictures of it using his phone.
The café you frequented nearly every single workday (and sometimes, even on non-workdays) was super popular. On most days, there was a long line of people waiting for a table at the entrance, and a small group of customers huddled around the takeaway station. You weren’t surprised. After all, the café was in a popular suburb, and they brewed coffee using well-sourced beans they freshly roasted in-house. The coffee always hit the spot for you, whether it was an early Monday morning, or a midday pick-me-up.
Throughout the weeks, though, you found yourself making the short ten-minute trip to the café more often than usual. You used to go to other cafes in the area. Granted, this suburb was filled with many high-quality coffee houses. However, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t go to the café just to catch a glimpse of your favourite barista.
Slowly, you started to find solace in your little café trips. What used to be an obligation to get a shot of your daily caffeine, transformed into a little bit of me-time when you had the luxury of making the trip on your own. It gave you an opportunity to walk around the neighbourhood, or even walk the office dog when she was in (which got lots of attention from the locals along the way). You couldn’t explain it, but the anticipation of looking for something (or rather, someone) and finding them exactly where you expect them to be, brought you a sense of pure satisfaction.
Seeing him there, standing at the entrance greeting customers, or balancing three plates of brunch on his long arms, or even taking orders with a big smile, brought you a sense of calm and familiarity.
Your mind flashed back to one particular Friday, where the weather was ominous outside the office, and you were periodically nodding off at your desk. Something about the gloomy weather made you want to go home, crawl under your covers and take a nap. Just as you were re-reading the same sentence for the nth time, you decided to make a trip to the café. After briefly checking the time (you were lucky – it was only 1:30pm), you headed out with your umbrella in hands.
The moment you stepped outside, you momentarily regretted your decision. The skies had just opened up, and rain started to fall. You hesitated but decided that there was still four hours left of the workday, and there was no way you could get through it without a proper hit of caffeine from your favourite café. So, you braved the wind and the cold and made the trip down, clutching your tiny umbrella tightly in your fists the entire time. When you arrived there however, the rain reduced to a tiny drizzle, and the wind appeared to calm down as well. Just as you rounded the corner, you caught a glimpse of the familiar purple hoodie. With your heart thumping in your chest and a bright smiled plastered on your face, you took a quick glance towards the owner of said hoodie (who was busying himself with introducing the signature brunch menu to a table of first-time customers) and headed towards the takeaway counter.
“How can I help you today?” The barista at the counter broke you out of your trance as you reached the start of the queue.
“Hello! Can I get a cold brew please?”
“Of course! Our cold brew is self-serve. Do you know how to work the taps?”
The cold brew and batch brews were served in coffee taps in this café. It was a favourite amongst your colleagues in the office. When it was sunny, everyone flocked to the café to get a cup of their cold brew.
“Yes, I do.” You chirped in reply and proceeded to pay and thank the barista, wishing them a good day.
As you made your way to the coffee taps, you caught a glimpse of your favourite waiter in the corner of your eye, filling up a bottle of water on the sparkling water taps behind you. You held your breath as you scooped a bit of ice into your takeaway cup and placed it under the tap. He was only five steps away from you, and you struggled immensely to keep your gaze fixed on the coffee instead of him.
While it was certainly fun to self-serve your own coffee, the lids always proved to be a challenge for you and everyone else. Theo himself spilled one too many cups of coffee at this exact spot, just because he couldn’t get the lid on the right way.
When the coffee finished pouring, you grabbed the cup with clammy hands and took a lid off the pile. “Here goes,” you breathed, feeling the eyes of not only the waiter but also the other baristas on you as you attempted to put the lid on.
Your tongue stuck out in concentration, fingers pressing around the rim of the cup. Your breath hitched when you felt the cup bend slightly under your touch. This was probably not going to end well.
“Do you need some help?” A voice spoke from in front of you.
You paused, heart nearly beating right out of your chest from the nervousness. This was the first time you’ve ever had any sort of interaction with the waiter, and for some reason, his velvety voice made your knees a bit weak. It was smooth and deep, like a cup of perfectly blended and roasted coffee.
“Ah…” You laughed, slightly embarrassed. Looking up, you flashed an unsteady smile. You were close enough for once to read off his nametag – Jiung. So that was his name. “I’ve got it, Jiung.” You said, determined.
You looked down before a shy smile appeared on his face at the sound of his name rolling off your lips. You took a breath, and tried again, this time with a slightly different approach. You got half of the lid to catch on the cup, finally, and just a little bit more until you got it secured, and you were so close, just a little bit –
“Ah!” You gasped in shock. Turns out, you pressed a little too hard and the cup folded in on itself, spilling half of the drink on the countertop.
“I saw this coming; you should’ve let me help.” Jiung teased in a light-hearted manner, hands already armed with a cloth to clean up the mess you made. He handed you a paper towel. “Here, did you get any on your clothes? Clean up and I’ll get you another one.”
“Ah, no.” You did a quick check and thanked the heavens that your grey sweater was safe from the coffee damage. “I’m sorry…” You said sheepishly, cheeks turning pink. “I swear I did it properly last time.”
“What’s taking so long? Ah, Y/N, you did it again.” Theo peered over your shoulder and shook his head in disapproval.
“Again?” Jiung questioned, trying to bite back a smile.
“Shut up, Theo!” You whipped your head around and shot daggers at him with your eyes. “It’s fine, I’ll meet you back at the office.” You squinted and stared at him, trying to communicate with him non-verbally to leave you alone with your café crush.
Thankfully, Theo was smart enough to get the message. “Alright, I’ll tell Keeho you’ll be late to the meeting because of your little accident.”
“Go!” You hissed, threatening to throw your used paper towel at him. His arms shot up in surrender as he backed away and walked back to the office.
“Your coffee.” Jiung said, presenting you with a perfectly covered cup of cold brew. “Next time, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’d be amazed just how many people have done that.”
“But you guys make it look so easy, I thought I could do it too.” You pouted, accepting the drink and slightly brushing over his fingers as you did so. Your body tingled at the short-lived moment of skin-to-skin contact.
Jiung laughed at that. “You’re forgetting that we do hundreds of these a day. Let the experts handle it, okay?”
“Jiung, lunch!” One of the chefs yelled out from the kitchen.
“In a sec!” He yelled back. Turning back to you, he said, “I’m gonna go on my lunch break soon. Anything else I can help with?”
You gnawed at your bottom lip for a few seconds and played with your fingers which were interlaced around your cup coffee. Jiung couldn’t help but to watch and stare at your lips as you did so, hypnotised. “Actually, there is…”
“Oh, were you waiting on takeaway food? If you’re in a hurry I can check with the back if you – ”
“No, actually,” you interjected softly. “I was wondering if… I could get your number?” You asked, uncertain. “Only if you’re single, of course.” You took a sip of your coffee to calm yourself down. Clearly it didn’t work because you started to ramble. “But who am I kidding, you obviously have a girlfriend. Anyways, I’m late for a meeting so I should just go…”
Just as you were about to turn around and walk away and hide at your office desk, Jiung waved his hands out to stop you. “Wait!” He said belatedly, after opening and closing his mouth for a minute too long. “I- I- I don’t.” The two of you locked eyes, remaining silent for a few seconds to let his words sink in. “Hold on, you just- I just- I -” He shook his head and heaved a sigh. “Sorry, just give me a sec okay? I’m on my lunch break, I’ll walk you back.”
You couldn’t do anything but nod at his words as he turned around and raced back to the kitchen to grab his lunch. The minutes felt like hours as you waited for him, sipping on your coffee, and allowing the cherry and chocolatey notes to invade your tastebuds. You felt a bit numb after your confession that wasn’t really a confession, yet your heartbeat refused to stop thudding against your ears in anticipation. You really couldn’t tell how this would end.
“Hey, sorry I took so long.” Jiung said, breathless, as he came around the other side of the counter, dressed in a black cap to match his black hoodie. Now that he was standing in front of you, you realised just how tall he was. “Do you work around here, Y/N?”
You shivered at the way his voice wrapped around the syllables of your name. You could only look up at him and nod and point in the general direction of your office.
“I thought so, I see you here all the time.” Jiung continued, slowing his footsteps to walk at the same pace as you as you lead the way.
“You noticed me?”
“Of course, how could I not?” He replied, hands coming up to rub the back of his neck as an embarrassed grin paints itself on his features. “I’m always waiting around to catch a glimpse… of you…” His voice got softer and softer and trailed off towards the end of the sentence.
“You do?” Your eyes turned as wide as saucers.
“Yeah, seeing you is the best part of my shift.” He says, as plain as day, as if he was stating a well-known fact, or reading out the weather forecast, or answering a math question.
“Seeing you is the best part of my day.” You countered.
“Are you sure it’s not just the caffeine?” He teased, bumping your shoulders as you walked with matching steps.
“That too,” You admitted, lips pulling into a small smile. “But seeing your smile in the middle of a boring workday makes things a lot more bearable.”
“That’s…” Jiung trailed off again. “So cute.” He burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter in combined fascination and disbelief, and you thought that nothing, not even the sounds of angels singing at the gates of heaven could be better than this. “Oh, here.” He stopped and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. He reached out for your hand, and dropped it into your palms.
“What’s this?”
“My number, silly. What are you doing tonight? If you’re free, let’s grab dinner?”
You couldn’t hide the pure excitement and joy seeping out of your body. It took everything in your power to not jump up and down on the spot. “Yeah,” you breathed out, still unable to believe that shooting your shot actually worked for once. “Yeah, I’ll see you later at 6.”
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