#there are people who’ve spent their entire fucking lives being taken advantage of by men and you’re gonna cry if they say they hate men

[dead-loch]

some of you didn’t live through a far-right/anti-vaxxer occupation of your city and it shows.

there was nearly an entire month where I could not leave my house for fear of these people. of truckers blaring their horns for literal hours on end, and we didn’t have a moment of peace. of businesses and people having their windows broken because they had pride flags up. people wearing masks being yelled at and harassed in the street. at one point I walked into the pharmacy directly across the street from my apartment and a woman (unmasked) was yelling at another woman (masked) who was attempting to calm her small infant, the first woman yelling some unhinged bullshit about child abuse (re masking) and NO ONE DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT, including the security guard standing right there. people were trying to set fires in apartment buildings and caught on camera doing it right next door to me. cops were doing business as usual and by that I mean they were making friends with these bigoted fucks. I was nearly hit by a car gunning through a red light as I was trying to get home safely and the cops standing around did nothing despite seeing it happen.

and I keep seeing posts saying “oh why can’t we just be kind to [insert people who literally think I shouldn’t exist, insert people who have gone out of their way to destroy the lives of others and to strip them of their rights].”

do y’all fucking know the toll it takes on your mental health to be emotionally and verbally and physically assaulted by, yes, specific groups of people, any time you step outside? yes, I wish people were kind to each other. I wish I was kinder. Unfortunately having grown up being physically abused and never able to express my emotions filled me with anger that still sometimes comes out in bursts. And having to live through several years of a global pandemic that only made some people more cruel has taken its toll too. And I absolutely do not blame people for being at the end of their rope and for being angry.

I’ve found myself being incredibly distrustful of people I don’t know because of how much damage the last few years have done. Not on purpose, but my hackles are ALWAYS up. It’s tiring. I don’t want to be this way. But the harm that’s been done needs time to heal.