#there are other issues of representation not addressed here and i'll leave it to others to address those

[alexandros-deathwood]

I appreciate your answer my dude. You know that's what I dislike about unhealthy couples is that usually writers deny they are and actually write things off as healthy, or worse: romantic.

I thought that was the case here as well when I read that scene where she cries because she feels unworthy. That scene is so unhealthy and full of red flags. Especially when he praises her for putting herself down.

Or the other scene where she is afraid to ask for affection, though in another scene freely gives it when he asks.

But it seems like you know they are unhealthy and this is intentional. You have them working towards being healthy.

If you're open to feedback:

Alexandros has the emotional upperhand. He has the power to keep holding her past actions against her and withhold affection/forgiveness because of it. He saved her life when she tried to kill him. Meaning she has to work and is at constant risk of losing everything.

You could have him realise this and work to minimize this, give her more power/control.

You didn't mention if he is ever going to stand up to his family for her, but if you want them to be healthier he should. Like I said, break up material if he won't.

I like that you are going to give her friends. Does she have friends before their relationship? Because otherwise there is still the point of her only being with him because no one else wants to be around her.

Also I get what you mean with not enough time. It's the same with drawn art. So many ideas, so little time. Yet we keep working don't we 😂 Even though we know we'll never be able to put everything into existence.

Yeah it's pretty bad to not admit your mistakes.

I'm kinda leaning into it because not everything is easy especially love. Love can be hard and complicated, but you do it, you make sacrifices, compromises, and amends because at the end of the day you still care for one another.

But writing unhealthy traits in a relationship and saying that it is romantic that is... unpleasant.

Might tweak those scenes a bit later.

Well guess who is working on a scene just like that where he lets her have control and be in charge. It's...uh.....make out scene.... After some discussions about their relationship with each other and some cuddling. Don't worry

Which kinda a good Segway to discuss some unhealthy accepts of their relationship where he can apologize. Tell her that he is sorry for sometimes being controlling that he's simply afraid, afraid of losing her and those he loves. That it's one of the things that him and his therapist have been talking about.

Actually that entire story bit his mostly her doing stuff letting her have control, coming up with a plan and him leaving it letting her do it, (probably should go back and make sure it doesn't sound manipulative, he did something and is exhausted and is in quite the pickle. She comes up with an idea, he suggest that might do this other thing instead, she points out a flaw and why they should do her's.)

Also a bit of sad but heartwarming scene where she addresses one of failings and makes amends with it. Won't say anything because I don't wanna ruin the surprise.

Also it is him being vulnerable with her. Not the other way around.

-

And like how I said a makeout scene I would very much appreciate feedback as I'm working through it as it is not my expertise especially one with two teens. I got two books at my side that have similar scenes and am noting how they do it. because I know I don't know the line between okay and and starting to get worry some. I also don't want to sexual teens i looked it up, I SHOULD be fine as long as I don't mention that is because they are young and have young features. I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE FEEDBACK. It's mostly going to be soppy not lustful. (I'm trying by best with all the knowledge I have, also with some asexual sex positive representation)

-but yes I'll see what I can do 👍

-

Would you be friends with year 3 merula?/lh

It's kinda one of her issues that I'm doing with a redemption arc, she is constantly not using kindness when she could and seeing how her boyfriend does so and gets things makes her start doing so. She start getting friend because she is starting to see how much of an ass she was and how it kept costing her things.

He ...nags...her about it, "please, they are more likely to help you." Trying his best to phrase it in a way that would appeal to her.

Her having a boyfriend didn't fix her issues though, she still working on it.

-

But he does stand for her, letting her explain her actions as explaining just how she has changed and how she has taken actions to amend. Standing in front of her and holding her hand while his family talks about her past actions. Asking his brothers to give her a chance, and that she is changing she just needs the opportunity to prove it.

-

-

I think I covered all my bases here, at least I think so.

[springsaladgaming]

Will there be any poly routes? It's fine if not, I just love Rene and Ansel both so much!!

Hi, anon!

This question is hard to answer because I haven't totally decided yet.

Originally, when I was still writing Ninelives in ChoiceScript, I felt like the length of the story didn't leave time to explore poly routes in an organic way. This was also before making some pretty hefty changes to the plot.

Despite that, I still always had an idea of which poly routes would be available if I ever had the room to write them.

Now that I've made some revisions to the greater plot and am working in Twine, I don't feel as limited. There's not currently any coding to allow for adding in poly routes quickly and easily, but it's not a huge issue to add it in. The possibility is much more likely than it used to be.

I have answered an ask about what the poly routes would look like in the past, but I'm having trouble finding the post, so I'll just address that again in this post. Here's the potential routes that would exist if I decide to include poly routes in the future:

Alex & Rene

Cherry & Lucia

Cherry & Rene

Teagan & Lucia

In a general sense, Ansel considers himself polyamorous, but he's not romantically or sexually attracted to any of the other ROs. ??? is not precisely against polyamory, but she prefers exclusive emotional commitment when in a serious relationship with someone. Plus, she doesn't ever get the chance to know most of the ROs very well anyway, so exploring a poly route with her isn't reasonable even if she was poly.

I wouldn't want to get into coding this many variables for this particular project, so this next bit is just conceptual, but some of the characters are also up for open relationships even if it doesn't involve forming a polycule. This includes Alex, Teagan, Ansel, and ???.

It's also worth noting that the pairings I listed above are a good representation of characters that could develop romantic or sexual attraction to each other regardless of the MC's involvement in the equation. If I add poly routes in the future, it's very likely I will also add pairings that might happen between characters that the MC is not romancing. As for how that would work—whether it would be random or influenced by player input—I'm undecided.

So that's the long and short of it! Thanks for asking!

[eyedelater]

horikoshi character design

here are some trends i’ve noticed in the My Hero Academia manga.

male characters: 

may have masks that obscure all of the face (e.g. snipe, iida tenya, twice, number 13, backdraft, gunhead, mustard) or most of the face (jeanist, shouji, crimson riot, edge shot)

widely varied body/face shapes and sizes (e.g. fatgum, death arms, power loader, magne, mineta)

often distinctly animal appearance (e.g. centipeder, gang orca, tokoyami, sansa, tsurugamae, spinner) or strange humanoid appearance (e.g. cementoss, ectoplasm, bondo, kurogiri, shouji, kouda)

many non-skintight and/or full-body-covering costumes (e.g. aizawa, dabi, twice, edge shot, fourth kind, all might, present mic, snipe)

bodily abnormalities/features that would more likely be considered “weird/gross” than “cute/attractive” (e.g. dabi, honenuki, kamakiri, shigaraki, stain, sludge guy, moonfish, AFO)

prominent abs near-omnipresent

generally tilted in the direction of “cool” and/or “strong”

female characters: 

mask is either a) absent or completely transparent (e.g. ochako, bubble girl, momo, mandalay, ragdoll, uwabami), or b) obscuring no more than half the face and almost always limited to glasses or an eye mask (e.g. mt. lady, midnight, pixie-bob, recovery girl, ryukyu, hatsume)

costumes often form-fitting and/or unnecessarily** skin-revealing (e.g. midnight, mt. lady, ochako, uwabami, bubble girl, camie)

SIGNIFICANTLY fewer physical anomalies, generally variations on a “pretty lady with long hair” theme (e.g. uwabami, momo, ragdoll, pixie-bob, toga, mt. lady, ms. joke, camie, setsuna, kendo, kodai, nejire, ETC.)

if they do have an atypical appearance, it’s almost never something that would make them less cute/attractive (e.g. tsuyu, shiozaki, komori, tsunotori, jirou, ashido, hatsume, nakagame, ragdoll, eri)

same attractive face shape on 99% of all lady characters; no one has a distinctly animal appearance (i.e. no ladies have an animal head for a head, EXCEPT habuko, who only appeared once, outside of the main manga)

the blatant lack of “female characters with a realistic animal head for a head” in horikoshi’s character designs is nowhere more apparent than in his erstwhile manga, Oumagadoki Zoo, where basically fucking everyone is an animal

modest variation in height, but little variation in body types overall

no one has prominent abs or other muscles

very strongly tilted in the direction of “cute” and/or “attractive”

**yaoyorozu momo is the only one whose revealing costume is somewhat justified, because she needs access to wide swaths of skin in order to pop out large items as she creates them. 

exceptions/things to give horikoshi-sensei credit for: 

deku’s mom isn’t in perfect physical shape (though everyone else’s mom we’ve seen is)

horikoshi-sensei does a good job of drawing ladies with relatively realistically proportioned bodies, rather than making them stick-thin caricatures like the ladies in one piece

there are several male characters whose hero costumes do reveal a good amount of skin (though it’s still definitely for coolness more than for sexiness)

ryukyu’s character design is somewhat better than many of her peers (i.e. relatively unrevealing costume, quirk that makes her look weird instead of hot unless you have a fetish)

recovery girl isn’t hot (that makes one pro hero lady who isn’t hot, i guess. though iirc it’s implied that she used to be hot)

bottom line: ladies’ costumes show more skin and face because evidently it’s important that we know their faces and bodies are attractive, whereas male characters are not designed primarily with attractiveness in mind and thus span a much wider range of facial structures and body types. basically, this. please give us some weird/gross/uncute female characters, horikoshi-sensei.

[durotoswrites]

HM64 Cliff versus HM/SoSFoMT Cliff

Hehe, I guess I shouldn't be surprised I had a couple asks about Cliff. I'll combine them here, including the other anon ask for my unpopular opinion on him. I'll address HM64 and Mineral Town Cliff, so this should cover everything for both asks. ^-^

Thank you so much for your patience on this. I spent a good part of the week resting up and rehydrating, and I'm starting to feel a little more like myself. I'm grateful that our tests came back negative, but we caught something nasty. Anyway, thank you all again for waiting on this. Without further ado, here are my many thoughts on Cliff!

Character Breakdown Ask Game - Still Accepting! ;)

How I feel about this character

Overall, Cliff is probably my favorite character in the series. I genuinely feel like the writers put a little more time into his characterization, and I love watching him grow in both versions of the game.  I feel that he is really relatable in a lot of ways, especially for people who have been through a traumatic event in their lives or deal with depression.  When I see a lot of his events and pick them apart, I can relate with my own struggles, and I really appreciate this kind of representation, especially in a male character, as it’s been so commonly accepted for men to push back their emotions.

HM64 Cliff is a little rougher around the edges, and I honestly like that about him. He's socially awkward (not to the point of HM64 Gray, though) and he's uneasy about trusting others. He's been betrayed in the past and it affects his relationships with those around him – he's too afraid to get close again, and it leaves him very depressed. He strikes me as really lonely and wanting to join society again, but is too afraid to do so. I really like that he has Cain/Kane as a partner that he does trust, so he's not completely alone. The fact that the two of them are living off the land is so dang cool to me – the idea of being able to sustain yourself and your best friend. I love that he's Karen's cousin, and I have more opinions on it that I'll address later.

While HM64 Cliff is traumatized by betrayal, (SoS)FoMT Cliff is traumatized by guilt. He spends most of his waking hours in the church, unable to form complete sentences as he sits in the pew, trying to sort through his feelings. Again, he seems very depressed in this game and he has a fear of getting too close to people, as shown in his heart events with both the farmer and Ann. Carter tries his best to act as a wingman (which I looove the dynamic between the two of them) and just encourage him to try to open up a little bit. Once he starts working at the winery, we really get to see Cliff blossom into the person he really is, and I find it so heartwarming. That, along with his winter time event where he passes out in the snow leave me very soft for his character.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

HM64 Cliff:

I don't really ship him with anyone. He needs to overcome his worries of being betrayed before jumping into romance, and I feel like he never really gets that closure during the game, unless he marries Ann and has a toxic marriage with her for years. Cliff warms up to Ann as their child grows into a toddler. I hate the idea of having a child to save a marriage – it's such an awful trope and isn't healthy. (Might fall under unpopular opinions, but I stand by it).

Story of Seasons/Mineral Town Cliff

Cliff x Claire – My OTP, no surprises here, haha. I really like the idea of them viewing each other as equals and helping support each other when they are in need. <3 Plus, their heart events are super cute.

Cliff x Kai – I feel that Kai's easygoing attitude and his own issues with his family would allow him to help Cliff open up about his own problems. I could see them being really sweet together.

Cliff x Gray – Honestly, I think that these two have so much in common and are both a bit shy by nature. They are also verrry different, but I think their chemistry would be a lot of fun.

Cliff x Mary – I could imagine Mary spending time at the church and bonding with Carter and Cliff. Cliff and Mary could play with Stu and teach him more about insects and wild plants while they're outside. So cute! They're both shy by nature, so I imagine them being really soft and sweet together.

Cliff x Rick – Cliff could help Rick process his abandonment issues and also help with the farm with his previous knowledge of birds (see unpopular opinions regarding his experience with birds, haha). Cliff and Rick could be steady partners for one another, and I could see Cliff being very doting toward Lillia, since he never got to say goodbye to his mother.

Cliff x Popuri – A lot of similar things I just pointed out for Cliff x Rick, only I feel like Popuri could help Cliff embrace his more lighthearted side, like in the later heart event in the remake where they play with the kids. I also feel like Cliff could teach Popuri some bird keeping tips that her father never taught her. Again, I'm also soft for Lillia taking in Cliff like another son. <3

Cliff x Elli – I headcanon that Cliff spends a lot of time at the church and sees Stu and May there a lot. Cliff could help take care of Stu and Ellen and I feel like it could help him get some closure on his own family situation. I could see them going on picnics together.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

HM64 Cliff:

Cliff/Greg: You can't tell me these two aren't sharing fish, rabbits, and foraged goods around a campfire together. I feel like they'd have stories to share, and Greg would be one of the few people that Cliff feels like he can trust.

Cliff/Elli – Elli loves to fish and is friends with Greg. I feel like on occasion, she might join the two of them at their campfire, and Cliff would slowly open up to her as he hears stories from her about the people in town.

Cliff/Cain – Best buds for life! Enough said! <3

Cliff/Farmer – Cliff does go out of his way to share things that he's caught with the farmer. I think it's really sweet, as he doesn't have much himself. I can see the farmer spending some time cutting wood and taking a break to see what Cliff is up to out in the woods with Cain.

Mineral Town Cliff:

Cliff with Duke and Manna – I adore this found family. It gives me such a case of the warm fuzzies, and I'm delighted at how the dynamic of Duke and Manna's marriage grows healthier as they accept Cliff as part of their family. Cliff also gains a sense of belonging and it's so wholesome and heartwarming. <3

Cliff and everyone at the inn – Seriously, they're one big dysfunctional family and I'm living for it. There are so many fun personalities and they mesh and clash so well. The characters at the inn are admittedly among my absolute favorite. <3

Cliff/Carter – I love thinking of Carter as a gentle source of guidance in Cliff's life and headcanon that they regularly share tea and biscuits in a little apartment Carter has behind the confessional. They share stories and while Carter is Cliff's mentor, the two of them have enough in common to become really good friends.

Cliff/Saibara – Probably an odd one, but I love it. Saibara respects Cliff for trying to forge his way in life, much to Gray's envy. Jealousy ensues as Cliff tries to maintain both friendships, and it causes all three of them to grow a little.

Cliff/Gotz – I headcanon Cliff as foraging quite a bit, and I can't imagine him not running into Gotz on occasion. They might share things they've found in the woods. Short on words, but they watch out for one another.

My unpopular opinion about this character

As I mentioned in the ask regarding Ann/Ran, I don't think that the two of them have the healthiest chemistry, especially in HM64, where Ann uses physical violence against him. Cliff is not completely innocent, though – he talks badly about her during the Flower Festival in HM64 (“Now I can see her as a girl” when she's wearing a dress) and his post-marriage event with her in FoMT is not cute. I hate that he goes after Ann's insecurities – it feels so out of character for someone who started out so meek and desperate for reassurance. I think maybe the writers were trying to bring back that same chemistry from HM64, but it didn't work then. Gah, I just don't like them being so cruel to one another. I don't find it funny or cute. Ann and Cliff are both such great characters, but they were so toxic to one another in HM64. I don't get why they didn't get shuffled in with the rest of the mixed up couples when Mineral Town/BTN came out. And even though they kept them the same and improved Ann's character– why did they make Cliff pick on my girl like that?

Another unpopular opinion - I actually like Cliff's new outfit in the Mineral Town remake. I like them both fine – I'm just lamenting the loss of his ponytail. It's slowly growing on me, but I still feel longer hair suited him better. While I didn't mind his sprite or model, I never cared for his super chunky bangs that stuck out at odd angles in some of his poses. His expressions were amusing, but he never initially struck me as handsome in-game – he was like this baby-faced DBZ-haired character, but that's where fan art comes in, heheh. I do think HM64 Cliff looks a little older and I appreciate that. But, gosh, he looks like a child in the Mineral Town remake – along with a majority of the dating pool, even if some of his expressions are dang cute. I've seen lots of gorgeous interpretations of his design in fan art, though. Keep doing your thing, you talented artists! You are so appreciated! As I've written my fics, I've made it no secret that I've, er, embellished on Cliff's hair a bit, making it long, flowy, and shiny. What can I say?  I like long hair on guys, and I'm gonna let Claire fawn over it.

A more serious unpopular opinion – over the years, I've seen a lot of people refer to Mineral Town Cliff in particular as lazy or a hobo. He is paying for a room at the inn just like Kai or Gray – he's not bumming off of anyone. As far as the player not seeing him looking around for work, I have a strong opinion on that as well, and I’ll tie it in with the complaint I’ve seen that he’s whiny (again, these are just general opinions I’ve read through the fandom for the past 20 years or so). My interpretation is that the guy is traumatized from his whole ordeal with his family. He hasn't been able to function beyond reliving his worst memories and drilling them into his head. He's very depressed and doesn't see himself as having a place in town, especially one that reminds him of his hometown (he mentions how similar the two towns are to Doug when he leaves town for good).  So I see him as struggling just to catch his footing, and learning to interact with people again - finding an income really isn’t the first thing on his mind, at least not at first.  

Was he selfish for leaving his home because he was unhappy? That's open to interpretation, as he never really gives any more details on what caused him to leave in the first place. Maybe his family was horrible and treated him badly. Maybe he was a spoiled brat. We don't know these things as canon. I do think he sees himself as selfish, though. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve to forgive himself and move along. I do like that Carter is a constant for him here and he has that support, and that he finds that in the player and his found family in Duke and Manna as he starts working for the winery.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish they had never gotten rid of Cain/Kane! Deep in my heart, I like to head canon that he's still out there and that Cliff keeps him offsite. That's what fanfic is for, I suppose. I just really thought they were so great together. <3

I would love to learn more about Cliff's sister, especially if you decide to marry him. She's rarely mentioned, and it would be awesome to hear more about her. I don't mind that his backstory is vague, but little snippets are so exciting to find!

I wish the fact that Karen and Cliff were cousins was touched down on a little more in HM64. I'd love to see Cliff come to the winery to meet his uncle and aunt and spend time with his cousin. Karen doesn't seem too keen on him, though, and I'm curious if that's because Ann's talked about him to her (Ann and Karen do have some friendship events in-game).

Phew, and there we have it. If you've read all the way to the end, I congratulate you. Thank you for the asks, anons, and I hope you enjoyed reading! <3

Character Breakdown Ask Game - Still Accepting! ;)

[phoenixdnasty]

The Problem with Season Five

this is already going to have a lot of you in the replies yelling at me. obviously, massive SPOILERS for s5 of she ra and the princesses of power if you haven't already seen it.

okay, so She Ra is definitely a kids' show, but it has a lot of themes aimed towards an older audience: abuse, war, found family, destiny and knowing who you are. I loved She Ra because it made me feel empowered, made me feel seen. after this last season, however, I don't feel the same. I will, however, talk about what it did well.

What She-Ra s5 did RIGHT

I very much enjoyed seeing the character development for most characters come to the forefront here. For example, SW returned to her original motivations. When she lived in Mystacor with the other sorcerers, her thirst for power was borne of a desire to fight the Horde. When she was rejected, then she chose to do what she did. We see a return to that in s5, where she takes a stand against Prime by enlisting Castaspella to stop her if she tries to take any power for herself. She ends up just wanting to help, to do what she can, which was excellent. Glimmer, Bow and a bunch of other characters are given some love here as well. I especially enjoyed seeing Bow and Mermista take on leadership positions in the absence of Adora; it was an excellent look into another facet of their personalities.

Character interactions in non-serious moments were, for the most part, good. Swift Wind and Scorpia being bros was not something I knew I needed but something I want more of. Netossa basically being Batman and knowing the weaknesses of everyone around her was great and an iconic scene. Bow thinking Catra was super adorable was also an excellent moment in the season and I could watch 9 more seasons worth of that. Something that surprised me was Entrapta's "not good with people"-ness being talked about and addressed by the other characters and explained by her; I wasn't sure if that was ever gonna be talked about in the show.

Side note: thank you Crew-Ra for giving Scorpia her own musical number, it was great.

Prime was also a fascinating enemy. He's this sort of religious figure, this world destroyer who's been around for seemingly centuries, maybe much longer. He's cold, calm and calculated. I've seen it pointed out that he's everything Hordak is not. He's manipulative, knows body language and facial expressions, and has a perfect grasp on how to get exactly what we wants. My favorite aspect of this season was the hive mind control. This was a very interesting plotline to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed HiveMind!Catra as well as Wrong Hordak. I loved the idea of pitting allies against each other and the angst and emotional weight that carried.

Going to use that point to segue into one of this season's strengths: Netossa and Spinnerella. Wow! We get a chance to see what a healthy queer/wlw relationship looks like, and two background characters get major upgrades in relevance. Two diversity points for one being a big girl and for the couple being interracial (in our world anyway), but diversity is the norm is SPOP and we might have to stan forever. It was extremely heartwarming and resulted in one of my favorite scenes to ever show up in animated media (one which I'll be stealing to add to my vows if I ever get married):

It was beautiful and I will absolutely never shut up about it.

There were some beautiful moments this season!! Absolutely gorgeous. A highlight for me cinematically was episode 5, which will probably bother some people when I say what I will below. I will be honest, the new transformation sequence and the scene of Adora holding Catra as She-Ra was powerful and had my heart pounding with excitement. It was awesome.

On the other hand...

What She-Ra s5 did WRONG

I'm going to break my issues with the final season down one by one, starting with the narrative of abuse.

From the very beginning, abuse is the most prevalent theme in the show. Prime (HP) abuses Hordak, Hordak abuses SW, SW abuses both Adora and Catra, and Catra abuses Adora. I liked the Crew-Ra tackling this issue. Abused people abuse people, right?

Why was everyone redeemed in s5? (Well, except for Prime, he was blasted away by She-Ra.) Hordak was given a blank slate to start over, even though he was the reason Etheria was war torn for at least a few decades; SW was given a hero's sacrifice, where at the end of her life she finally decides to do some good; and Catra is immediately forgiven for doing one good thing and all trust in placed in her simultaneously.

Hordak and H. Prime as abusers are pretty cut and dry; at no point are they ever remorseful for their actions, except for Hordak in the case of being abusive to Entrapta. SW is much more of an interesting character to analyze, because her motivations are geared directly towards herself. This seems to change in the final season, when she returns to her original motivations from back when she was in Mystacor. Defending her home. In her pursuit of the power needed to defend Etheria from the Horde, she fell into darkness. She began to abuse Adora and Catra.

One could argue that the hero's sacrifice she was given for redemption was unneeded. SW was an individual addicted to power. She was manipulative, using fake affection as a means to control. She didn't deserve a redemption. The only evidence we have of this supposed change of heart is a line to Castaspella: "...and stop me if I try to take the power for myself." Okay... so, SW, um... what changed your mind? Was it Micah? Because at no point has he forgiven you. In fact, there should've been much more hostility between the two of you (which is a point I'll address in a moment). In all honesty, the relationship between SW and Micah reminds me of what should've happened between Catra and Glimmer, or Catra and Scorpia.

And Catra... My problem with her story is that she was kinda just... forgiven? instantly. no repercussions, no long talks about feelings, no... consequences. Catra got the girl and that was it. A small list of things she did over 4 seasons, in no certain order:

Scratched what was implied were scarring marks down Adora's back

Was the cause of Angella's "death" #angelladeservedbetter

Kidnapped both Glimmer and Bow

Opened a world-ending portal all to ensure Adora failed

Also pushed Adora into what looked like an abyss

Verbally abused Scorpia into leaving

Wanted to pit Corrupted!She-Ra against her friends (dehumanization)

Got Entrapta sent to Beast Island, a deadly place no one ever returns from

And this is just the stuff off the top of my head. We all knew Catra was going to get a redemption, but this one was completely undeserved. She apologized to Adora and Entrapta. Two very short apologies for what canonly was at minimum, months of abuse, manipulation, intent to kill (which is literally mentioned by Adora) and general disregard for anyone or anything but revenge for something that didn't even deserve it. The entire cast should've been outraged. Glimmer in particular had a very big reason not to ever forgive Catra ("I'm not losing another parent!"), but it was all glossed over.

The biggest issue with season 5 was the abuse plotline completely dropped. You can't spend 4 seasons explaining how the cycle of abuse affects you and everyone around you... and shelve it. And we know the reason why it was shelved.

Let me first preface this with the fact that I am super happy we got representation. As a queer nblw who grew up feeling alone, it's so good to see things changing in media. An onscreen wlw kiss on a kids' show is groundbreaking and I'm very happy that She-Ra broke this barrier.

But all representation is not good representation. Catra and Adora is not a good representation of a healthy relationship.

Catra is shown throughout the series to be very unstable. This is even prevalent in season 5, when Adora "chooses SW" over Catra, she runs away. This breaks Adora's heart. The last thing that Catra needs is a relationship when she hasn't even confronted the issues that she has. There's no healing done in season 5, no therapy as the fandom loved to meme about, no long talks about forgiveness and the hurt caused. There's no callback to any of the pain and anguish that Catra put Adora through. Catra may love Adora, but if there is no healing done for the both of them, their relationship will fail. They will fall into the same cycle again. Adora will do something Catra doesn't like, Catra will do what she's done for all of the show, and it will repeat until something breaks.

I'm going to talk about the implications of the ending we have now, and feel free to argue with me.

She-Ra is a kids' show. Abuse is one of the main themes. Catra is shown to be an abuser. Here's what we are teaching younger audiences:

a. if you love someone enough, maybe they'll change

b. everyone deserves a second chance

c. your abuser will change as long as you're loyal and never stop trying to love them

d. things someone does to hurt you mean nothing in the wake of forgiveness

e. if someone who hurt you changes suddenly and wants to be back in your life, you should let them back in

Character interactions for the things that mattered (plot threads from previous seasons, general personality clashes, etc) were absent this season, in the moments where they mattered the most. (The best three in my opinion were Scorpia and Perfuma, the BFS inviting Catra in, and Mermista and Entrapta.) Glimmer and Adora should've had their time to talk. Scorpia should've gotten to say her piece to Catra. SW and Micah should've interacted more. Micah and Glimmer should've gotten more than an introduction!

I'm not going to get into how the entire final season was wrapped around making Catra and Adora get together (a fundamental writing no-no; it never ends up working), or how it was bad writing. I just want everyone to think critically for one moment. There are so many other glaring issues in what was, overall, a stellar show. If there was another season, or some mini episodes where the characters talk out their problems and past transgressions against each other, then I could excuse She-Ra. But I doubt we're going to get any of that. So I won't.

[mereth]

Lazy Sunday mornings and a not-so early morning post

This is a bit of a rambling of my usual rambling subject (Merlí Sapere Aude).

I have already mentioned I'm not watching season 2. I decided beforehand that I didn't want it to influence my own writing too much so I decided to wait until I finish writing. After all Maneras de Amar wasn't going to be canon-compliant in any case. I started writing it before season 2 aired and it follows Bruno more than Pol so, why should I try to keep with canon? *shrugs*

When the first two episodes aired and we found out about Pol's condition I ranted a lot here because I do feel it can be a cliché. But I try to be fair and give credit when credit is due and, for what I have read, Hector's portrait it's really well done and it's giving the viewers really interesting and necessary conversations. I reserve my final opinion on it until I watch it and I can form it on my own but it seems it's really well done.

There's another topic that is important to me when it comes to Pol and that's bi representation. This week I have had to read here in tumblr one too many posts about our 'straight privilege' and then learning Oti has outed Pol to Axel was a bit too much.

Outing people is something that shouldn't be done. It doesn't matter if you think being bi (or gay or ace or queer or any other label. And FFS don't out trans people. Their lives are often more at risk than the rest of LGBTQ+ people) is cool and it shouldn't be hidden or shamed. We know, but we decide when we want to come out and to whom. We should be able to decide over our lives. If you decide for us you aren't being supportive, you are being patronising.

So Oti comes from a different place to Bruno in season 1 but it was wrong in any case. I'm glad it was shown but what is niggling me is if Hector is going to tack the specific discrimination and struggles that come with being bi. Right now Pol's journey reads like it would be similar if he was gay. There are parts that are similar but I can't help wondering, will they touch the so-called 'straight privilege'? (I hate that fucking term. Hiding part of yourself isn't a privilege, it's torture). Pol is finding his safe space at Satanassa, would he be able to find it there if they knew he's bi? A lot of people from the LGBTQ community think we aren't queer enough.

Axel is probably a really nice guy and made of sunshine and happiness and all that but, would they touch how some of our partners think we'll end up leaving them to be in a "straight" relationship? Or how a lot of people think we can't commit because of our sexuality. Pol does have commitment issues *glares at the Yo Pol Rubio book* but that comes from him, not from his sexuality. He would do it too if he were straight or gay.

So I have a lot of questions and few answers and very little hope that they'll be answered. I hope I'm wrong like I was with the HIV but experience has taught me to not hope in this issue.

Now, me as a writer, do I plan to address them? Yes and no. I do plan to address parts of it on Maneras de Amar but it isn't going to be in depth because both Pol and Bruno are at another point in their lives. 18-yo Bruno who had to be explained why outing Pol was wrong isn't the 22-yo Bruno we see in Maneras de Amar. Same goes for Pol.

It isn't the same to address an issue when you're trying to get your head around it than when you know for sure what you want and need and what you'll accept from others or not.

If I get to do that whole rewrite of Sapere Aude I'll address them differently because they would be at a completely different place. If I ever do I do hope I make them justice.

[rpbetter]

Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Ok hi, I didn't wanna say anything, but please don't write knifeplay/bloodplay for Yuri. I def don't wanna spoil anything, but it's learned on a certain route that Yuri has a s*lf h*rm problem (I'll leave it at that).

You honestly seem like you're not trying to be a jerk with this ask, so I'm going to do my best to answer this as politely as possible without compromising my personal beliefs on the matter. This is going to be long and a little serious, but please note I'm not attacking you or trying to start a debate. I'm just laying all my thoughts on this down at once so I make myself clear, because a short answer would leave a lot of nuance out.

I understand what you're trying to do here. For the record though, I also considered that a pretty massive spoiler and I did not appreciate that at all. Even if you all think you're 'helping', don't do that again. Y/uri was pretty much the only character I'd managed to avoid most spoilers on and you killed the surprise for me. This game is already so full of fluffy 'filler' in the beginning that I don't have a ton of big plot points to look forward to in each route.

Now, I realise this is a very delicate topic and incredibly triggering to some people, especially with those two things combined. I am 100% willing to tag it with just about any variation needed to ensure you or others affected can blacklist/block it and never have to see a word of it in the future. I'd also be happy to go back and tag that original text post I made if needed. I mean that. You all are welcome to ask me to tag things anytime, and so long as you're polite about it I'm perfectly willing to oblige to the best of my ability in future posts! If I occasionally forget, just toss me a light reminder and I'll jump into editing and add it in.

That said, I want to make it clear that I am very firmly against censorship. I'm willing to take all necessary precautions to ensure people can curate their experiences on this blog and AO3, but at the end of the day I can still post whatever fictional stuff I choose to. As can anyone else. Same goes for more formally published media.

Now, it's entirely possible I would have gotten to that part of the game and decided 'oh dang, I'm not so enthused about that fic idea anymore...'. My whims and ideas change frequently, and what you mentioned is a heavy topic with a lot to unpack and process. It's also entirely possible that future plot would only provide more fuel.

Fyi, when I originally mentioned the knifeplay I was actually thinking a lot more along the lines of her doing it to the protagonist, not the reverse. But for the record, if I did choose to write it with focus on Y/uri, I would still be well within my rights to.

This next part of my answer is going to address some heavy topics, this is your warning!!!

Sometimes people's kinks are a way to take a thing that is personally scary or upsetting to them and find a way to reverse it. To find pleasure or power or get used to the idea of the awful thing in a safe, controlled fashion. I'm not going to go into the full details on this because there's plenty of explanation and research elsewhere already written up, as well as an excellent book on the subject, and I'm not turning this blog into a discourse debate. But I needed to mention it for my point.

There are plenty of stories that could be explored with Y/uri in this context. Did she have this kink before the self harm events started and it was completely unrelated, or did she develop it afterwards? How did she discover it beforehand? If developed afterwards, did it start out as another way of harming mixed with pleasure in a self-destructive way, often done sloppily and without proper technique? Or was it strictly used as almost exposure therapy to deal with those urges and thoughts in a safer, more contained scenario, maybe even allowing the partner she trusted to wield the knife to prove their bond/reinforce that she can be loved without being hurt deeply, that she is worthy of affection and trust and loyalty. Maybe this finally helps give Y/uri a tool to embrace her 'weirdness' without harming herself and others. Or, what if she thinks it can be a useful tool and is sure she's ready, but partway through the scene she gets triggered or has flashbacks... how does she deal with it? How does her partner? Can it be overcome with effort, research, and taking things slowly, or does she realize this kink is actually completely off the table for her?

What if she has this kink and is excited to try it, but her partner isn't? How does she take that rejection? Or do her poor social skills mean she skipped negotiation to begin with and attempted it in the middle of a vanilla session? Would her partner freak out or even get mad, or try to swallow their fear and let her do it so they don't hurt/offend her, even at the cost of their own comfort?

This topic also opens a ton of potential plots for darkfic, but I'll refrain from discussing that out of respect for you and others.

So as you can see, there's much more to explore than 'Knife=Hot'. I believe those discussions and ideas are necessary and provide important fuel for thought when explored fictionally, especially since mainstream media doesn't cover a lot of them.

~~~

I feel I should take a second to clarify knifeplay for those who may be unaware. It doesn't always equate to actual cutting/drawing blood. That can be an aspect, but usually only by those far more experienced and, you know, actually into that. A lot of participants don't actually go that far. Mostly, it's either about the physical sensation of the knife touching you at all, or the adrenaline/controlled fear and intimate trust of a partner bringing an object like that so close/teasing you with it.

In fact, it's frequently advised in those circles (especially to newcomers) to use a dull butterknife instead, because it simulates the same feelings of metal on skin/can dig in a little without any real risk of cutting/drawing blood. Even if one chooses to use a different knife, it's still pretty common to dull the blade, or some people even substitute with a closed pair of scissors (combined with the partner blindfolded, you can't really tell it apart from the real thing).

These versions of knifeplay are well controlled and ultimately pretty harmless, so long as both parties know what they're doing and stay alert. And more experienced players with sharper knives are even more cautious/have studied extensively to know where/how deep to go without risking scarring/serious injury.

Remember the golden rules of kink: Safe. Sane. Consensual.

With those in place, it is not nearly the same as self harm. Just as controlled, consensual, well-negotiated BDSM with safewords, respected boundaries and a trusted partner is never in the same league as abuse.

~~~

Now that that's out of the way, back to my point:

There's no perfect representation or narrative for everyone, in any group (be that gender/sexuality/triggered by certain things, etc). Every human being is different, everyone interprets media differently, and everyone takes away different elements from stories.

What one person in a particular group may find cathartic, relateable, or painful but necessary food for thought, another may find completely repulsive, personally hurtful, offensive, something they can't stand to hear. And guess what? Both of those can be true at the same time. One side is not immediately right over the other.

There are queer characters or interpretations of them in fics that I vehemently despise, might even find hurtful or sickening and think 'how can anyone create this, it's insufferable! People in 'my group' aren't like that, it's a horrible representation. I can't relate to it at all!' But you know what? Other people can and do, may find comfort in those exact narratives and experiences, may heal their pain instead of inflicting more. And that's great. It's what they needed or wanted and if I don't like it, I click away and do my best to avoid it.

There are specific tropes and narrative themes I personally cannot get through without being triggered into anxiety attacks or dragged back to bad times and places in my life. Sometimes I see them tackled in ways that are hurtful or seem insensitive to me. But I recognise that for someone else, it's exactly what they needed to see to get through that or come to terms with it, or see a way they wish that thing could play out. I would never dream of telling those people they aren't allowed to enjoy it, OR telling the creator of that piece of media or a tv show 'Hey ummm please don't use this plot because it turns me into a human wreck for a week'. Because it's not remotely my place to do so. They can create whatever they want, they have no responsibility towards me or my well being. A few might be kind enough to include a warning at the beginning of that episode or in the description, but they are in no way required to. It's up to me to curate my experience and try to keep my guard up/research what might have those tropes, and in the rare occasions I get blindsided, yeah, it hurts like hell. I struggle, I might even backslide a bit. But I just have to try my best to deal with it and make a note to be more careful next time. Because you can't control the world around you, not even the online world, and you have absolutely no right to. The only right you have is to protect yourself without infringing on other people's boundaries/rights.

And there's also another important point. There doesn't have to be a big important point or explanation for why a creator creates something, or why consumers can enjoy that creation! If someone wants to create a plotline with all of my triggers used in the most 'insensitive', 'wrong', pointless ways possible, strictly for Entertainment or pure kink material instead of some deep dissection of the issues involved? They can go hog wild!!! They are 100% allowed to do so on this earth, and I can't (and wouldn't want to) do a thing to stop them.

One person can read a kink fic and it hits a very emotional theme for them/they think it explores a deep topic well. Another person can read that same fic and get nothing out of it except their rocks off. Both of those readers are completely equal and 'allowed' to enjoy that fic. Both reasons are completely valid reasons for why the creator was 'allowed' to post/create that fic in the first place. Nobody needs permission, nobody has to answer to anybody except themselves. Period. This extends to any topic, any type of fic.

Yes, even for things I find absolutely abhorrent and insensitive and don't understand/want to read ever. I may resent everything about its existence, but I will defend to death the creator's right to make it exist in the first place.

It only affects me if I let it affect me. If someone's making content I despise or am upset by and can't handle, I can choose to ignore or avoid them, blacklist those tags, I can block them and move on with my day. I can do anything within my own bubble, but the second I consider going into their bubble and saying they can't make that thing, I am in the wrong. Because I'm not respecting their space and rights.

If someone makes cookies with ingredients I'm highly allergic to, pastes the ingredient warnings all over the box where I read them, and I still eat one, would anyone cheer me on for blaming them when I have a reaction? Would anyone think it was remotely okay of me to start calling up every bakery in town and saying they weren't allowed to bake those cookies EVER, because some people somewhere might be allergic?

No. They'd tell me I was crossing the line, because I'm infringing on other people's boundaries and lives. I'm expecting everybody else to take responsibility for something that, while horrible and painful, was my fault for touching.

Now, if someone sets out unlabelled cookies not realizing I'm allergic to something in them, and I eat it and have a reaction, that sucks. It's an awful experience. But is it the baker's fault? As long as they didn't do it maliciously, not really. They can be advised politely to label it in the future, and I can do my best to remember to ask/be more cautious next time I come across something I'm unsure of, but they're still allowed to bake those cookies for themselves and others.

Now, if I deliberately baked cookies with an ingredient that people are very frequently allergic to (ex. peanuts) and set it out in a crowded buffet without a warning label, that's a jerk move. That's intentionally trying to cause harm to others. But simply baking that flavour of cookies still isn't a crime or harmful by itself.

~~~

I'll be honest, I'm running out of steam and I think I've said most of what I have to say, so I'll wrap it up. I want to reiterate that I'm not ripping into you with this long answer, anon! I understand why you sent me what you did and I'm trying not to come off as harsh. I'm happy to go back and tag things and will tag anything else similar in the future!!! But at the end of the day, regardless of whether I personally end up writing that fic or not, or even want to after I get to that plot, I don't agree with telling anyone they can't/shouldn't write it at all. I wanted to try and explain my viewpoint thoroughly, and I hope you can respect that, just as I'll respect and try to accommodate you and other followers. This is the only time I'll really get up on a soapbox like this, and I have no interest in debating these things on my blog further, but it is a topic I've been passionate about all my life so I'm afraid I'm not budging on it.

[alittledizzy]

other users idb users are calling Adrian an idiot because of your lie. I'm going to send a link to your post to him including a link to your blog and your ao3 so he knows who is spreading lies about him. He was harassed by phannies last year when someone wrote incest fanfic about him and Dan and sent it to him, he'll have a great opinion of you. And i'll email Dan the link too to see what his middle aged fans are spreading about his baby brother.

The fuck are you even talking about, anon? I’m perplexed by how you’re misreading everything people are posting. 

Just, for the record, here is the post you’re upset about: 

What was interesting (and will continue to be interesting) is how much consideration Adrian has for the fact that most of his brother's fans are both people with an interest in mental health issues and are largely queer. There's already been one incident where a friend of his commented something homophobic and at first Adrian just laughed at it. Then people got upset and Adrian deleted everything - his friend's comment, his comment, and the people upset about it. That wasn't too big a misstep; it was a bad joke made by someone else that Adrian just had a careless initial reaction to. But if Dan and Adrian were to have had any conversations over the holiday about youtube I hope it was that rather than talking about collabing or anything. I hope Dan, who certainly understands this by now, conveys to him that his words and actions matter because he's got a lot of young people desperately seeking approval and recognition/representation hanging onto Adrian's every word now and willing to try out anything he says, being emotionally impacted by the messages he puts out there (mostly good so far, but it can flip the other way)... and that's a heavy responsibility.

Let’s break down what I said: 

- Adrian has a lot of fans that came from Dan, who are are interested in mental health issues and are queer. I’m interested to see how he addresses that in the future, if he does. 

- There was an incident where a friend of Adrian’s commented something and Adrian laughed about it at first. Then I explain that Adrian got rid of the offensive comment and his own response after - and here’s what you’re so offended about, I’m guessing - ‘a careless initial reaction.’ The word initial means first reaction - which was leaving the comment up for fans to see and be hurt by. I also say that it wasn’t a big misstep. Because it wasn’t. Your reaction is far more overblown than the original incident or my summary of it. 

- That I hope if Dan and Adrian had any conversations about youtube over Christmas, it’s about the kind of responsibility a content creator has toward fans that have an emotional response to the content being made and what a responsibility that is. 

- That Adrian’s messages so far have been mostly good. 

If you really think you’re blasting me by sending that to Adrian, or Dan, or who the fuck ever - go ahead, anon. It’s not the insult you think it is and it’s nothing I’d be embarrassed to have them see. And now that you’ve gotten a response to your message, can you please stop spamming me with this kind of stuff? 

[rage-against-the-meyer]

New Moon (2006)

Previously, I have done a book review on Twilight from my newly gained perspective after a recent read. I shall proceed with the next book: New Moon. Now, New Moon used to be my most hated book. I resented it. I suffered through the first 200 or so pages just to get to the good part, which in return was exceptionally good (I'll probably come to this). This book was coloured by a very big issue for me: there was no Edward. This opinion has not changed. I still cannot grasp the logic behind removing the one character that compelled readers to love the prequel. It was probably done to give Jacob some attention, but really, it made the book a drag for me. That has changed. While I still hated Edwards absence, I enjoyed the Edwardless pages more than usual, though I don't know exactly why. Anyway, let's get into it!

The book starts of with quite a nice moment: Bella's birthday. I think Bella's resentment of aging is displayed very well throughout the book and logical from a seventeen-year-old's POV. This leads me to voice an opinion I hadn't in the previous review: the book really should have been set in college. It would change the book entirely and I think for the better. Bella would have actual close friends at home, the story doesn't need to focus on the secrecy from family and friends, and most importantly, Bella would be more secure. She would know things, maybe things Edward didn't, she would not be so insecure (still a bit insecure, but I think maturity reduces it) and she would be able to move more freely. College as a setting would resolve some of my issues certainly. It would also solve the whole age-thing. Bella wouldn't have such an extreme obsession with age as age in your 20's barely reflects in your appearance. As a teenager, you change so much every year, but in your twenties it's different. In addition, it would give Bella a much better sense of what she wants out of life. At college, she must have envisioned some sort of career; the whole missing human experiences issue would be less important. But that's just my take on it.

Bella gets cut and more importantly attacked by Edward in an attempt to save her from Jasper. Great moment to show the comment of Edward to Bella by, you know, not killing her on the spot. Also GREAT moment for Carlisle and Bella. I think this moment might actually be a first moment in which she projects him as a father figure.

Right after this whole charade, the drag begins. The silent days by Edward and his ensuing absence. Reading it again after years, it still hurt. On his part, I do understand the logic. The one thing I kind of hated was his removal of everything between them. When he said goodbye to her, he wouldn't expect her to accept his leave so easily, that he couldn't believe that she had just forgotten everything about him. Then, he just assumed that by forming a so-called clean break and removing everything that could remind her of him, she would move on so easily. Like her words didn't exactly stick with him either. While I understand their reasons for everything, it was a very emo-goodbye. His absence was terrible. Like I read it for the first time, I LIVED through the pain. I FELT it.

When the Jacob part started, I was wary at first, but I actually enjoyed it to my surprise. I saw for the first time his soft side. I was bothered by his cold facade, though, through all the other books. I guess I didn't like that he lost his innocence but that was just the story.

I really feel that Bella and Jacob's romance was written expertly. It made sense somehow. Still, I can't believe anyone could be Team Jacob based on the books. However, I was annoyed by the pressure on his side along the series - trying to show that she loved him by assaulting her and guilting her into kissing him. She fought hard to deny herself that part and it was not his to expose it. That should have been her. I guess SM thought it was hot/sexy for a man to force her to face her emotions like this, but I really can't think of it as anything other than assault.

The stupidest part of the Edward-absence was the hallucinations. I believe they represented Bella's unconcious knowledge that he still loved her but to me it was obviously the result of a toxic relationship. And then, she had to do the dumbest shit ever to get the hallucinations. If it was adrenaline related as I really believe it was, she could've just done a few rollercoasters. 'But she only had them when she did something dangerous.' No. She had them when she had an adrenaline rush. All her stupid adrenaline rushes happened to be induces by dangerous ass shit. If you don't like this argument, go away because it is one of many concerning the biological aspects of the horse-shittery later on (scientist here). Anyway, the hallucinations didn't do much for me.

Alice returns. You can actually see in my book where this is - as I've turned to this page a million times. I love Alice as I've previously said and I love her here. I also love that Edward wants to off himself. Not too glad about the whole dependency thing in representation, but in their relationship, it's proof that he's committed. What really gets me though is the humorous outrageous amount of dramatics in his decision to die. It kind of aligns with the Volturi but it's still so dramatic to wait until a certain time. Didn't you want to die the second she died??? Dramatic.

I think that everything about the Volturi should be regarded as creative freedom. They hoarded a group of people in every time they were hungry and no one of their relatives started a blog with 'Disappearings in Volterra, Italy'?? Dumb. They were collective even more dramatic than Edward but then, creative freedom.

The most compelling scene was definitely the scene where Bella though she was dreaming. I'm probably not the only one that cried when I read that the first time (and the times thereafter). I have a big issue with their getting together. Yes, they understood both sides of the story and yes, they had both been miserable apart. However, I don't believe that their instinctual feelings also disappeared with their resolve. You can't convince that if Edward said good morning a little bit off one morning, Bella's mind wouldn't instantly think he was going to leave her again. And then, the PAIN of Bella, the shell she was after him, that should have been harder to shake as well. Her body must occassionally involuntarily just recoil when she sees him. Again, I understand but poor representation of pain, SM.

Speaking of representation, the racism is way more obvious in this book than in Twilight. While I loved the wolves, SM exploited the Quileute Tribe. As in my previous post, I have included links to get both informed about and to donate to the Tribe's council. A bit less obvious may be the position of Jacob, POC against Edward, white male. Jacob is regarded as a love interest, sure, but his appearance, his being, is close to nothing compared to Edward. It might be the story, but in combination with all other small and big acts of racism by SM, it seems racist.

Another major issue I didn't address in my previous post is the complete absence of LGBTQ-characters. I myself am not part of that community, but the lack of representation, especially in a book with such a young and formable target audience, is extremely wrong. I am of Molukkian heritage and I know what it is like to not be represented. It alters or limits, whichever way you see it, your self worth. All of Bella's insecurities SM wrote were superficial: Bella wasn't pretty enough (in her mind) for him. I don't want to disvalue those insecurities, we all have them after all, but lack of representation can give anyone of a minority the sense of not belonging and not worthy of happiness. To all minorities, I see you and you are of worth! You deserve better than to be ignored and limited in media and politics. It pains me to see discrimination is still so prominent in society and I stand with you.

With that note, I want to conclude my review. There is really nothing more important than that. Please inform yourself on the Quileute Tribe and donate to their council through the following links:

The Quileute Tribe

Information:

Donation:

TLDR: New Moon is okay but shows, again, a toxic relationship and obvious discrimination. Please inform yourself on the way SM exploited the Quileute Tribe and donate to their council through the link above.