#there are going to be ups and downs
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
What do I want
Short-term: have fun, feel in community with people who are similar to me, flirt with pretty girls and enbys, cuddle, receive loving and caring physical touch from people who are romantically and sexually interested in me, continue making this city a real home to me, have more sex, get my kinks scratched
Long-term: a nesting partner (platonic or romantic honestly at this point) someone that can help me make a home cause caring for a place all by myself is so so taxing on my neurodivergence, have a constellation of partners, get my needs met in a variety of new and different ways, to not be sleeping alone all the time, be getting my needs met so much that I'm able to discover new things about myself, have someone I can trust enough to collar me again, to trust myself and my feelings
#i know that ive been doing well getting myself to this point#its just hard to not be down on myself because i feel like there is so much work left to be done#but at least im doing it#like taking responsibility for myself and my feelings and genuinely trying to break life long patterns#there are going to be ups and downs#its not a straight line to progress#you can do this#i will fight for the little girl & the teenager inside me who developed these coping strategies because they werent getting their needs met#i promise them (myself) that i will be there for me#i love you m#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind
#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up#and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due.#you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal.#or really. you pretend to wonder#because you know the reason you cant work like normal#you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough#mine#academia#covid mention
70K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey now, Let her cook!
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#senshi#laios touden#marcille donato#izutsumi#oyasumi punpun#<- In case you are wondering what the source for the little bird guy is.#Yeah that's right. I'm back to my extremely obscure crossover BS.#Punpun is one of those series that falls under the category of 'Good! but I cannot responsibly recommend this to anyone."#If Dungeon Meshi is like a friend asking you to go on a quick errand and you accidently go on a life changing roadtrip -#Punpun is your friend asking to go on a quick errand and they pull up to the vet and tell you your dog is being put down.#Then they explode into sludge. Melting your car. You hitchhike back but the person who picked you up is an axe murderer.#I could not finish it. My friends who did say it was good. But agree it was for the best I did not finish it.#Hey speaking of tone twists...We are one episode away from one of my favourite chapters being animated!#WHO'S READY FOR THE SENSHI BACKSTORY! WHO IS READY TO CRY!#ME! I AM! I spooked my flatmate with how energetic I was this morning. I'm vibrating with energy I was not designed to contain.#I should talk about today's episode here: It was very good. I love how they animated the familiars.#And!!! Anime only people now are in the loop on the Chilchuck lore. Part 1 of many. He still contains multitudes.#They all do to be honest! If this episode told us anything it was that we still don't know these characters as well as we think!#See you guys next week. I'll be inconsolable.
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
Honestly, no one is doing it like Vinsmoke Sanji. He's royalty. He's homeless. He's a convicted criminal. He is a damsel in distress. He's a knight in shining armor. He takes down the Government at 10 am then makes a Bouchée à la reine from scratch at 11. He has the empathy of a buddhist monk in the Himalayas. He will beat up a 90 year old. He has never given a fuck, he cant sleep at night cz of how much he cares. He is a ballerina. He sets his legs on fire. He is a slut. He is a virgin. He is a feminist He is a pervert. He's a fashion icon. He wears Alexander McQueen suits to the beach. He has never known happiness. God has personal beef with him.
#no one can be you CUNTJI#his duality his consistency#let's go kingji#One piece kinda goated with this king#one piece sanji#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#one piece#hmm i can see the tags where many of yall are saying sanji isnt a vinsmoke#i havent really reached that far in the show im starting impel down next so idk all ik is it's supposed to be his family name#so im guessing his family is fucked up thats why u ppl are so worked up im not surprised tho all sexy ppl have problematic families#kuroashi no sanji
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
Reading fetish erotica with absolutely pristine and morally upright consent and neat and tidy safer sex practices is like watching a Fast and Furious movie where they stop at every stop sign and signal for every lane change and always obey the speed limit.
#I do those things in real life#I want to read a story about some fucked up shit going down#Thx mate#post o' mine#writing
12K notes
·
View notes
Text
what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
21K notes
·
View notes
Text
when ao3 is back up i want all of you to leave comments on the fics you were interrupted from reading, the fics you were looking to find, the fics you were thinking about re-reading, and the fics left open in your tabs for months now.
when ao3 is back up, i want you all to show some love to your favourite writers, favourite fics, or even just the 600 word one-shot that brought a smile to your face that tuesday three weeks ago.
when ao3 is back up i want you all to remember that comments and explicitly voiced appreciation are what keep writers going.
#when ao3 is back up i want you to realise that this lack of fics to read is also what will happen if they go uncommented and unappreciated#ao3#and while ao3 is still down go to your tumblr writers and leave them some love too
28K notes
·
View notes
Text
FNAF Springtrap and Vanny talk to Huntress in DBD..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#springtrap#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#huntress#fnaf 3#security breach#DBD#dead by daylight#woah more DBD art? so soon?#ngl this was the first idea I had if FNAF and DBD collabed#now that they are gotta draw it out#I could see springtrap and vanny would gravitate towards huntress#seeing they are all rabbit themed killers#springtrap going in with fill confidence#while Vanny is far more flustered to even speak to her#just melts upon walking up to huntress#tbh no doubt it’ll be springtrap in DBD#but I’d also be so down for Vanny as well#shout out to all em DBD enjoyers this is for you
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!
PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 9 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 9 spoilers#snakes#ONE MORE DOWN#oh my god happy jamil was SO scary and yet adorable all at once#i want real jamil to see him and just be utterly disgusted#and yet he got nothing on the return of everyone's favorite twst character: WEIRD RHYTHMIC ELEPHANT#oh weird rhythmic elephant what would we do without you#me kicking my stupid little feet as jamil wakes up through sheer force of kalim though#he was SO happy for jamil and SO ready to just go along with everything. my sweet boy.#jamil getting so flustered by him that he's just shocked back into reality#and the SLAPFIGHT#silver being like 'they need this' and doing his one smile animation as kalim and jamil are pulling on each other's hair and going YOU SMEL#mmm yes delicious#also this is probably nothing but#but...they brought up the whole thing with azul having dirt on crowley again#the thing that was briefly alluded to in episode 4 and never mentioned ever again?!#i had JUST finally convinced myself that i was reading too much into it and it was just azul playing along with jamil's plan#but now they've mentioned it again and i'm going to be all BUT WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAAAN for another three years about it#is it a meaningless reference to that one scene?! is it absolutely ridiculous foreshadowing?! am i ever going to be validated?!#I HAVE TO KNOW
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
his ass is NOT grant o’brien!!!!
#dropout#game changer#zac oyama#aloe.etc#yes i know its because grant has covid but its still its funny they kept the bit going#100#200#hey why did this blow up so fast#300#400#GUYS CALM DOWN ITS NOT THAT FUNNY#500#you guys are on fire#600#700#what the fuck chat#800#900#1k#MY FIRST POST TO HIT 1K!! TYSM DROPOUT FANS!!!#2k#3k#4k#5k
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.
its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.
“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.
#this has been building up in me for a bit#i was talking to my mom and she brought up a concert we went to and i have zero memory of ever going#huge chunks of my life are just. gone.#every time i sew i put the needle down and spend fifteen minutes trying to find it#memory loss#memory issues#cognitive issues#cognitive decline#cognitive dysfunction
40K notes
·
View notes
Text
NYT article abt goncharov has comments like 'what is the purpose of this film's existence these kids are just lying' motherfucker how do you think our ancestors survived. how do you think folklore formed. culture. music. art. PURPOSE????? do you think everything must be commodified? sold? weighed to be valued? has the rot in your soul spread so far you cannot find value in anything not spoken in numbers??? it's FUN. THAT'S WHY. THE PURPOSE IS THE ACT, THE MESSAGE IS THE MEDIUM, THE SYMBOL IS THE STORY. it brings people joy for its mere existence and that IS the point. existence is its purpose alone
#goncharov#not unreality an actual reaction to an actual comment on an article bc corporate journalism has decided to breach gonchcontainment#god i fucking hate people being like blah blah blah but what's the point of this thing SHUT THE FUCK UP#GO PICK UP A HOBBY YOU DROPPED BC YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TOO CRINGY FIND JOY IN IT OR SMTH AND MAYBE YOU'LL CALM DOWN#JUST BC YOUR CAPACITY FOR HAPPINESS DIED DOESN'T MEAN OURS DID#anyway back to regular gonchposting#shut up levi
56K notes
·
View notes
Text
been thinking a normal amount about just how Strong yuuji is
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#yuuji#megumi#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#i have been drawing arms too much and with too much detail to not be thinking about how much this boy can lift#picks up megu like a sack of potatoes ....casual bridal style......#god they make me unwell#also these poses pushed me down the stairs if i have to look at one more stock wedding photo i am going to lose it#edit bc a bunch of megumis facial structure was out of proportion smh
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
hm
#hom3stuck#homestuck#john egbert#jade harley#dirk strider#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#lil hal#autoresponder#inspired sketches because i went thru a bunch of artblogs and wanted to be dynamic and artsy too#also love to listen to songs and then try my best to draw something for the duration of it. this isnt quite one of those times but#hey the names matched up nicely#idk man. tonight is a sad about dirk strider day turned into sad about dirk strider night. davekats to make it go down easier#anyways ever think about how a captcha of 13 year old dirk doesnt want to die but the 16 year old version does.#cause i do . plenty.#these seem like sketches ripe to do something with but i dont feel like touching them more so. black and white up they go
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
bene gesserit costuming + occult and religious imagery
#brought to you by me going down the 'I wonder if anyone has made a dune inspired tarot deck yet' rabbithole#dune#dune part two#irulan corrino#margot fenring#duneedit#the absolute joke of owning almost a dozen tarot decks and still going uhhhh when trying to figure out which cards to put up there#besides the classic rider-waite-smith#in my defense I didn't want them to be modern-looking otherwise I would've chucked the linestrider queen of swords in there#anyhow
6K notes
·
View notes