#there are almost definitely blogs i am forgetting

[roxxyhoney]

Okay so this post may initially come off as corny to some, but I just had to make a birthday related IWTV post. Today is my birthday, and it's the first one I've celebrated being apart of the fandom. I started watching the show in March of this year and I don't think I'm the only one who feels like their life has completely changed😅. Without a doubt, IWTV is the best series I've ever seen and that's coming from someone who has watched many many shows and has had some obsessions here and there back in the day. From Buffy, to TVD (give or take a season), GOT (years after it ended), and so many more, but IWTV hits me on a whole different level that I could have never imagined.

When the show came out in 2022, I'll admit I didn't give it a chance like I should have, and apart of me is grateful that I didn't, because I don't know how you all survived the year & half hiatus. I almost didn't survive waiting only TWO months for the new season, so I can only imagine how it felt to wait even longer.

If you follow my blog or have seen a random post from me, it's no secret that I am a huge Loustat fan and I have such a tremendous soft spot for Jam. (I've spent an embarrassingly long time watching interviews and clips of them, and I can't get enough). Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid are both incredible and amazing at what they do. I absolutely can't wait for season 3 and all it has to offer. Ready to see some promotional images, videos, trailers, cast announcements, etc.

What's been getting me through this hiatus has been a lot of phenomenal things. Many people in this fandom have been wonderful and have provided great information and interesting theories (some I'm hoping play out). No, I haven't read the books but I do know quite a bit about what goes on and that's thanks to a lot of research and the many people in this fandom.

Sometimes the fandom can be on one and things can get crazy, but for the most part it's been a real treat getting to experience this show with those who love it just as much. From the fanfiction that is now apart of my daily read, to the fan videos, and definitely to the beautiful artwork from the most talented people out there (I think I have a redbubble problem with as much merch I have purchased). It's all just been a real mind-blowing experience, and I've pretty much "fallen into a well with no bottom."

And let's not forget the most amazing cast, show runners, writers, directors, etc. Yes, I absolutely LOVE Jam, but the whole entire cast was made for this show and their acting is astounding. I would love to meet them in real life one day as I've heard nothing but great things.

So, moral of this novel of a post, and if you've stuck with it this far, is I just wanted to say how much I desperately love the show and the talent that this fandom has showcased.

Not only that, I've met one of my dearest friends from this fandom. You know who you are♥️♥️♥️ And words aren't enough to express how much your friendship means to me.

So, I wanted to list below just a few things from myself and others.

If you read fanfiction and you're interested in an au/human loustat, check out my first fic in the fandom: "it's like a best friend, but more." So far, there are only 15 chapters with 5 left to go.

For more of my favorite fics, I've created a fic rec list. This list will be updated throughout.

I have a new loustat video posted. Check it out if you're interested.

A huge shout out to @haflacky for creating this beautiful loustat commission piece. I am still in awe and super grateful.

And if you want to follow me on twitter/x, youtube, and tiktok feel free 🥰

I'm staying lowkey this birthday and spending the rest of the day rewatching both seasons and working on a new chapter.

Until next time ♥️

[spaciebabie]

I don’t think I’ll be on this platform anymore, at least for now, due to everything that’s happening. I’d just like to keep away from it and supporting it at all. See you later, maybe.

-heartbeat anon

i understand heartbeat!! safe travels wherever you find yourself!! thank you for sticking around <3333

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (Epilogue)

ー☆ Epilogue

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: suggestive language, cursing, smut ー☆ Word count: 8.7k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: mature ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: I chose no song for this chapter, so everyone is free to listen to whatever or not listen to anything at all, however, while doing the moodboard I was listening to Power and I actually started sobbing, so uh, you can give it a listen if you wish to! I won't yap here, so see you at the end of the chapter! <3 I hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what y'all thought of the last chapter of my beloved series. divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng

@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf

@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss

@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

3 months later

            Spring was finally approaching, the weather having turned less harsh and warmer in the span of a few weeks, slowly painting nature in its vibrant and gorgeous colors that I would never get enough of. And we were lucky the air was warmer now outside, because in the confines of the limited space of my little studio of my Arts Club at university—which is more of a storage room to be fair—the smell of fresh dye and incense mingled together almost in a nauseating way, leaving me no option but to crack open the small window of the studio. Well, since it was so high up, I had to ask Mingi to open it as I didn’t want to get on a chair as I would have had to walk to the front of the room, and I was too lazy to do that. Music played quietly in the corner from Mingi’s portable speaker as he hummed along the melody of the song, typing away on his phone as his shoulders were slouched over, head lowered.

My eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as I bit my tongue, making sure the dye spread out evenly at the back of Mingi’s head, not wanting to leave spots of his previously platinum blonde hair. Around a week ago, he and Seonghwa hung out under the pretense of watching movies and having a boys' night in which they would drink beer and maybe compose some music, however, the next day when Mingi came over to have lunch with my mother and me, his hair was short. The long strands that curled prettily against his nape and ears were gone, replaced by short spikey hair that stuck up against his head, giving him a punkish look. My mother had squealed when she saw him, touched his hair, and then cradled his cheeks, gushing about how handsome he was, making me glare at the two as they forgot about my existence. Instead, I went and set the table and left them to their usual gossiping, shaking my head when my mother told him all about the new hot doctor at work she had her eyes on.

At times, those two would get lost in their own world and forget about my existence, amusing me, but also prompting me to give them a side-eye. Don’t get me wrong, I was beyond the moon that my boyfriend and mother got along really well, but at times it almost felt like I didn’t even exist—and before you would be like Mingi and say that I am dramatic, the fact that my mother seemed to love Yunho just as much as Mingi, definitely sent me into an existential crisis after the first time she confessed she loved the two as if they were her own sons. And about Yunho, well, yes, we’ve worked out our differences—which involved a lot of explaining, invoking buried memories, and a lot of apologies from Yunho’s side—so now we were all a big happy family—family as in not to be misunderstood, we all loved each other and had a nice bond. To be honest, I felt no mal-intent towards Yunho when after a month of dating Mingi we finally decided to sit down and discuss everything with his best friend, and I even found myself now confiding in him and asking him for advice in areas Seulgi—and Wooyoung—couldn’t help, because, after all, Yunho knew Mingi best. And Yunho’s girlfriend was an absolute angel and sweetheart, I took a liking to her quite quickly and found her love for literature rather adorable as she’d often quote her favorite characters from her favorite books.

Mingi snickered as I playfully pushed his head forward as I was done dyeing his platinum hair to a regular, darker, blonde with pink hues in it. I tried to look over his shoulder to see what he found so amusing but he cradled his phone to his chest and made me roll my eyes as I walked to the sink to wash the small bowl and the brush I used to dye his hair. Mingi changed the music to something more upbeat and a lot noisier than the music he, Wooyoung, and Seonghwa made, and I came to realize the speaker was playing Limp Bizkit. I couldn’t say that I enjoyed their music too much, I preferred something more indie, but I still appreciated some of their songs. I turned on the faucet and started washing the brush first as Mingi approached me and leaned against the counter, lips pursed as he tried to hide his cheeky smile. I threw him a questioning look as I rinsed the bowl out, applying a little soap in it to wash out the dye completely as Mingi finally spoke up, “Check this out, ‘Your face is a work of art, my legs should frame it.’”

My eyebrows furrowed as I gave Mingi a confused look, quickly making him pout, “Oh, come on! It’s ‘art rizz’!”

I snorted as I placed the bowl and brush aside to dry, peeling the gloves off my hands carefully to not stain my clothes or skin, “You’ve had better ones Mings, besides, shouldn’t I be saying that to you?”

“I mean,” Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed as he pocketed his phone in his light pink jeans, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He wore a white loose sleeveless tank top today, his biceps bulged from the action and I tried not to let my eyes linger on the well-defined muscles, “I definitely like the idea you’re suggesting—”

“As if we haven’t done that already.” I interrupted with a pointed look and Mingi just rolled his eyes.

“That’s beside the point,” And then he was smirking, leaning into my space as I rinsed the soap off my hands, “wait, are you suggesting something right now?”

“I just dyed your hair, Mingi, no, I’m not suggesting anything.” I sighed, unimpressed, as I shut the faucet off and grabbed a small towel to dry my hands off in it. You see, Mingi is rather…vocal with his needs and quick in executing them, so, I cannot say we haven’t been… active, if you know what I mean.

“Pity.” Mingi pouted for a second before he moved on to the next subject, his brain sometimes moving too fast for me to be able to keep up with him, “You remember that well-dressed woman from our last gig at Outlaw?”

“I sure do, she looked rather out of place with her pencil skirt and blouse.” I hummed as I leaned my hip against the sink, facing Mingi. He grinned and then fished his phone out of his pocket again and unlocked it, clicking on something I couldn’t see. Then, he cleared his throat and raised it to a higher pitch that was definitely mocking the woman’s voice.

“Mr. Song, I am delighted to let you know that Horizon Records would love to work with Noir Zenith, and we’d like to set an appointment as soon as it fits you and your bandmates' schedule. – Hong J.” Mingi bit his bottom lip as my eyes widened, prompting me to hold onto his wrist in excitement.

“Wait,” I said, eyebrows lightly furrowing, “isn’t this that super famous and huge record everyone dreams of getting signed to?!”

And when Mingi’s smile grew into a hug grin, I felt joy and excitement fill my senses as I grabbed both of Mingi’s hands, jumping up and down as he giggled and followed along, the two of us jumping in small circles like little kids. I couldn’t believe my ears, this was even bigger than the last record they agreed to sign with for half a year—the one Hongjoong helped out with—and once their contract was over, they could sign a new one with Horizon Records.

“That’s fucking amazing, Mingi!” I exclaimed loudly as we finally stopped jumping around, my heart beating fast as Mingi nodded in excitement, his teeth visible as he couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know, Wooyoung started running laps while screaming and Seonghwa cried clinging to me for half an hour when I told them.” I chuckled at the image in my head, but quickly realized the message wasn’t fresh. Before I could go off on him for hiding something so important from me, Mingi beat me to it, a knowing glint in his eyes, “Mrs. Hong sent the text yesterday afternoon and I only didn’t tell you about it because I knew we’d meet today and I wanted to see your reaction, so, don’t be mad, please.”

And how could I be mad at him when his plump lips were jutting out and his eyebrows raised in a manner that made him look adorable and heartbreaking at the same time? I huffed and squeezed his hands before I released them, trying to play off the fact that he already knew me so well, “I wasn’t about to get mad, I’m very happy for you and the rest of the boys, my love.”

Mingi giggled and looked away, the high of his cheekbones slightly flushed, and I grinned because I could never get over the fact that calling him ‘love’ or ‘my love’ turned him into a giggling and blushing mess. It was adorable, cute, and somehow still sexy, and before I would let any stray thoughts enter my head and distract me from the plans we had, I cleared my throat, “We should eat that pizza we ordered, it’s probably already gone cold.”

Mingi hummed but didn’t speak up as I went to walk towards the white sheet we had laid on the floorboards to sit on, pizza, black nail polish, Mingi’s pink beanie, and my sketchbook scattered all over it. However, before I could take another step, my feet suddenly weren’t touching the ground anymore as I was lifted by the waist, a squeal leaving my lips as I clutched onto Mingi’s bare arms, “Mingi! Put me down!”

“No.” He giggled against my neck and I felt his warm lips press a small kiss against my nape as my hair was in a bun, then he was running towards the sheet as we both laughed, the song playing through the speaker drowned out by our loudness. He finally placed me back down on my feet when we reached the white sheet and I sat down in a crisscross position, opening the box of pizza as Mingi took his seat across me. I grinned as I grabbed a slice, my stomach growling in hunger once again, and then I took a bite of the cheesy pepperoni pizza, making Mingi chuckle as he looked less hungry and less eager to devour our lunch for today. I extended my hand for his phone and he gave it to me without a word, I typed in his password before I looked through his playlist, taking bites of my pizza in the meantime. I found a slower beat that I liked and switched the currently playing song to that and then handed his phone back after I locked it, smiling as Mingi was flipping through my newest sketchbook which had mostly drawings of him.

I didn’t expect him to flip to that particular page and I almost choked as the pizza went down a little array, making Mingi smirk as he pulled the drawing closer to himself, dark eyes inspecting his sleeping form in the drawing. Well, the drawing looked completely innocent unless you knew what happened before it, and I couldn’t help but blush harder when Mingi bit his lower lip, pizza in his hand forgotten as he traced the blanket that hung low on his naked hips, torso on display and face serene as he had been in a deep slumber. When he looked up, he didn’t look much too smug, but there was a glint in his eyes that I had become accustomed to too well. He was in awe, but he was turned on, and I couldn’t help but stuff my face more with pizza, satiating my hunger as a means of distraction from the fact that I drew Mingi post-sex not even four days ago.

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a talented songwriter and composer but a good hell of a painter.” His voice was deeper as he mumbled, taking a bite of his pizza as he glanced back down at the drawing, “I want to draw you too, to capture you in all forms and commemorate you for an eternity.”

Well, what a way to make me blush harder. I grabbed another slice as I had finished the first one as a means to stall for a second, ponder over my answer, “You’re good with your words though, unlike me. I always struggle to express myself concisely, yet to you it’s easy. You create beautiful lyrics and you never fail to capture my true nature in your songs, so I think I’ll always live on in your music, Mingi, you have already commemorated me for an eternity.”

That made Mingi blink in surprise as he hadn’t even realized that before, and I smiled as he gave me a lasting look before he flipped the page, the drawing of him playing with a kitten I had found outside my porch. Now, she was our kitten and she, obviously, loved Mingi more than me—just like my mother, I didn’t try to complain about this too, “You inspire me like none other.”

“You inspire me too, Mings.” Mingi’s smile was shy as he continued flipping through the sketchbook, less filled than my other ones as I decided to dedicate this one only to him. He’d seen the older sketches plenty of times before, yet he never failed to become shy when looking through them.

I finished my slice of pizza, dusted my hands off and made sure my cheeks weren’t greasy as I leaned towards the black nail polish, shaking it in front of Mingi with a grin, “Ready to get your nails painted?”

He nodded excitedly and handed me his left hand as he still held his slice of pizza in the right one. His thick fingers were smooth and decorated with rings, much like mine, and I flipped my left hand around to place his palm in mine. After having arrived at my humble studio once we were finished with our classes for the day, Mingi got to work and painted my nails. He had bought some new nail polish a week ago and convinced me to surprise me with them, so, the nails on my left hand were now almost neon green and the nails on my right hand almost Barbie pink. Sometime along, painting each other’s nails became a habit, something we both enjoyed doing and now we could confidently call it our thing.

I concentrated hard to not smudge the skin around his nails, eyebrows furrowed and teeth clamping down on my bottom lip as Mingi’s eyes were either on me or his nails, bobbing his head along to the rhythm of the song playing. He usually chewed loudly and I was thankful he kept his mouth closed this time, knowing that it would only irritate me if he started chewing on his slice of pizza aggressively—it wouldn’t be the first time he does it just to annoy me. As I finished doing his middle finger, his phone rang and Mingi reached over to his left side as he bit on the crust of his pizza, picking his phone off the floor as the music cut off. He accepted the phone call and put it on speaker as I chuckled and watched him take out the crust from his mouth so that he could talk.

“Hey! Song Mingi!” It was unmistakably Wooyoung’s voice as he screamed into the phone, making me concerned that Mingi would lose his hearing if he had just normally picked up the phone without putting it on speaker, “What’s up, bro?!”

Mingi snickered, shaking his head as I finished painting the nails on his left hand, “I told you yesterday that I would hang out with Y/N after classes.”

“Ah, right,” Wooyoung hummed as I leaned down to press a kiss against Mingi’s hand, making him grin as he finished his slice, eagerly handing over his right hand to paint his nails, “And where are you two lovebirds?”

“In her studio,” Mingi answered as I got to work, careful as always as I painted his pinkie’s nail.

“Now that you mention, Seulgi said something about not being able to work on her assignment in the studio because of you two.”

I scoffed and before Mingi could answer, I spoke up as I leaned towards the phone, “I told Seulgi to do her assignment not two days before the deadline, and I also told her a week ago that I’d be hounding the studio with Mingi today.”

“Heard that babe?!” Wooyoung’s voice was distant just for a second, then he snickered, “She says you’re lucky she loves you, otherwise she would’ve kicked you out of your studio.”

“My own studio.” I huffed and applied another coat over Mingi’s forefinger’s nail to even out the texture, “What a bitch.”

“A bitch that is forced to listen to her best friend’s constant bitching, who’s the bitch now, Y/N?” Everyone snickered and I rolled my eyes as there was the unmistakable sound of a kiss pressed against a cheek through the phone, Mingi and I shared a look of mild disgust as I went to paint his thumb’s nail.

“Don’t start making out while you’re on the phone with me, Wooyoung.” Mingi’s voice carried disgust but there was a hint of amusement, “Anyways, what’s the purpose of your call? You never call unless you need something or I ask you to remind me of something.”

“It’s neither this time,” Seulgi chuckled through the phone, and then there was shuffling and I knew she walked away. I finished Mingi’s nails and closed the bottle of nail polish, sitting up on my knees to kiss Mingi’s cheek as he bit his lower lip, grinning at me as he wriggled his fingers happily.

“Do not be late to Aurora’s opening tonight and wear something extra fancy, Hongjoong will have our heads if we don’t honor his fiancé for God’s sake.” Wooyoung sounded mildly annoyed but it was no secret that he loved Hongjoong probably almost as much as he loved all of his friends, however, he’d never admit that to anyone. Aurora became the name of Seonghwa’s studio and small gallery, and tonight was the grand opening. Everyone was excited about it, with Seonghwa being a nerve wreck as he feared people wouldn’t show up. After having talked to both him and Hongjoong, they agreed to display a few of my paintings in the front lobby and I was giddy and curious about everyone’s reaction to them. Nobody knew what I had handed over to Seonghwa, and he had beamed when his eyes took in the paintings, he getting emotional instead of me and making me chuckle as I hugged him tightly and thanked him for the opportunity.

“You should worry about yourself, Woo,” Mingi teased with a chuckle, “Y/N and I will look impeccable, as always.”

“That is for sure,” I muttered as I sat back on my ankles, watching Mingi with a grin as we had decided to match our outfits for the night.

“Talk to you later, we’ve got some business to attend to with Y/N now.” And then Wooyoung said his goodbye and they hung up as Mingi pointed towards the pizza with a pout, “I’m still hungry, will you feed me?”

And even if I said no and rolled my eyes, five minutes later Mingi had a teasing glint in his eyes as I fed him his third slice of pizza, smart enough to remain silent or else I wouldn’t have continued feeding him or helping him drink water while his nails dried.

            Barely an hour later, when Mingi’s hunger and thirst were satiated and his nails were dry, we replaced the white sheet with a huge flat canvas that we would paint over. We had agreed on painting a scenery, something similar to the creek we so much liked to visit when the weather allowed it, but sometime along my attempts at making it look like the actual creek, Mingi’s not so painter skills came into the mix and created a—whatever that did not look like the creek. He refused to admit that what was supposed to be the water now looked like the sky, making the whole painting look like it was upside down from our standpoint, and he also kept on vehemently denying that he tried to paint a dick over the trunk of the tree I spent at least fifteen minutes on to make it look as realistic as possible. All in all, I concluded that without Mingi here I would’ve been able to finish the painting in a maximum of three hours, however, now there was no future for finding a vision in whatever we have created.

But I didn’t mind, because this was Mingi’s and my work, something we created together while laughing and talking about whatever came to our minds, the atmosphere light and joyful. I had also washed out the dye from his hair and we towel-dried it, making it look spikier than usual. I couldn’t lie, this new hair made Mingi look incredibly hot, and it took me some willpower to not jump him as he looked at me with those sharp eyes and a knowing smirk, the asshole.

“But you’ll dye it back to black soon, right?” I asked while painting clouds over the once creek turned sky now. Mingi was behind me, crouched down, and his clothes still somehow miraculously not stained. I wore my old overall knowing that I’d stain myself the second I opened a can of paint, and I wasn’t wrong at all as the edges of my pants were already stained green and white.

“I mean, do you hate this color?” Mingi asked from behind me as he dipped his brush into black, terrifying me of whatever he had in mind to do with the color once I saw him.

“What the hell do you need black for?!” I exclaimed as I grabbed his wrist, making his eyebrows shoot up in amusement.

“Aren’t artists supposed to just go with the flow?” His lips jutted out as he playfully leaned closer, my eyebrows furrowing as I was ready to oppose his idea, “You’re making me question your working etiquette, doll, I don’t find you creative enough—”

“As if!” I exclaimed only mildly offended as I knew Mingi was only teasing me, “Going with the flow and trusting your instincts is one thing, love, but having no vision or idea in mind is plain terrifying.”

“I was going to sign the top of it, but never mind—”

“Fine,” I groaned, gripping his wrist to stop Mingi from twisting away. His voice was whiney and he was pouting, not even looking at me as if he was offended. I knew he wasn’t; he was just acting up to get what he wanted. And unfortunately, it was working embarrassingly well on me, “Sign it.”

“Great!” He beamed as he leaned forward, mindful of staining his pink jeans with paint and I sighed as I shook my head, making curved lines before I colored them to make them look more like clouds. I had no idea what would become of the painting, but I certainly was eager to find out.

“Back to your hair,” I spoke up as Mingi carefully drew his ‘fix on’ signature onto the canvas, “I don’t hate the blonde but I miss your natural color, it suits you more, makes you look cuter and softer.”

“Aw,” Mingi turned back to give me puppy eyes—which he learned from Yunho, no doubt, “you like your boyfriend to be all soft and cute? I thought you like it when I get all wild and destroy—”

“Do not finish that sentence, Song Mingi.” I threatened as I sat back, brush pointed threateningly towards Mingi.

“Or what?” His crooked teeth showed as he grinned, quirking an eyebrow to annoy me further. I huffed and tried to think of a good comeback, but came up empty-handed for once so I gave him a pointed glare.

“I’ll stain you with paint.”

“Bet.”

“Bet.”

And I know Mingi didn’t expect me to actually follow through with my childish threat, but as I jerked my wrist in his direction, the remaining paint from my brush flew off and, well, stained his white sleeveless tank top. Mingi’s mouth fell open as he gaped down at himself, and I laughed, giving him a smug look.

“What, did you think I was fucking around?”

“Oh, I’ll make you wish you never did that!”

And before I could prepare myself for whatever attack he had planned, he pressed his hand against his brush and coated it in black paint then sprung towards me, making me gasp as his thick fingers drew a cold line against my cheekbone. Mingi grinned as I stared at him in surprise, but I reacted soon quickly as I pressed my fingers into the fresh paint on the canvas and returned the favor, the only difference being that I drew a circle on his forehead with white paint. Mingi blinked once, then twice, and a mischievous grin spread onto his lips which told me that I was in trouble.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, but Mingi was fast as he dug his whole hand in green paint and slapped my ass painfully hard, making me cry out as it stung even through the fabric, making me give him a deadly glare, “Song Mingi! That fucking hurt!”

“You’re a pussy.” He stuck his tongue out and I tsked, leaning down to push my whole hand inside the red paint. Mingi’s eyes widened as I gave him a victorious smirk, eyes narrowing as he jumped up to his feet, holding his arms up in defeat.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start a war—” But his futile attempts at saving his ass fell on deaf ears as I cackled and took off towards him, making him yelp as he tried to duck and run away, making us run around the canvas. We were both barefoot and as Mingi tried to jump over the canvas, he miscalculated where his long legs would land and landed on his freshly painted signature, making him yelp again as it was no doubt cold against his feet. I laughed as I easily caught up with him and felt up his chest, biting my lower lip as Mingi’s eyes widened.

“Oh, no, your white shirt is all stained now.” I fake pouted as Mingi froze, incredulous eyes looking between me and his shirt. I chuckled and clapped my hands together, deciding that my job was done here, but then Mingi was stepping back and leaving foot marks all over the canvas on purpose. I scoffed but didn’t care much, the poor painting had been long ruined. I crossed my arms in front of my chest in defiance as he dipped both of his hands in pink paint and then gave me a grin as he beckoned me over with a finger. I huffed in disbelief as if I’d hand myself over willingly to him. And he knew that because I dipped both of my hands in light blue paint and faced him again. Our stare-off was intense and calculating as we both tried to guess the other’s next step, and thinking I’d have the upper hand, I stepped in the middle of the canvas just as Mingi moved too and I raised my hands to dirty his tank top even more when he cupped my cheeks and made me squeal.

The paint felt cold against my skin and I knew it would dry it out once it started drying itself, but I was far too amused to worry about something so insignificant right now. Wanting revenge, I grasped his hair and massaged my hands well into the freshly dyed darker blonde strands, making his hair look like cotton candy due to the pink hue mixing with the light blue of the paint.

“My hair! Y/N!” Mingi whined loudly slapping my hands away, but I wasn’t finished as I dirtied his jaw, neck, and tank top too. Mingi was pouting hard and glaring at me at the same time, already sharp eyes turning sharper and full of revenge as he flushed his body against mine and cupped my ass over the fabric, gripping tightly and kneading the flesh.

“Mingi!” I exclaimed, content with being so close to him, but also annoyed that he kept going for my ass, “Leave my ass alone, you idiot!”

“You ruined my hair!”

“I told you to dye it black and not a different shade of blonde.”

“I thought you were a firm believer in people doing whatever they want.”

“I am, but you’re my boyfriend and I find you hotter with black hair.”

“Well, you’re my girlfriend and I find you hotter with my dick down your throat.”

We both paused as my eyes widened and Mingi caught himself a second later, cheeks flushing as he looked sheepish, finally releasing my ass as his hands settled around my hips instead, “Oopsie, that went too far but it’s the truth—”

He cried out as I whacked him over the head, giving him a fierce look, “Yeah? I also find you hotter gagged around my fingers—”

“We only did that once!”

“Are you afraid it makes you less masculine?”

“I agreed to let you peg me, bro.”

“I know, bro, and you fucking enjoyed it.”

“So, what’s the issue here?”

“That you keep slapping and kneading my ass, leave it alone.”

“Okay, princess, my bad.”

“You’re the princess, Mingi, not me. You’re always whining.”

“And you’re always beating me up, Y/N.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah, you are!”

I scowled at Mingi and pushed him back by the chest, by no means aggressively or harshly, but his dramatic ass pretended to stumble and then he fell back, splaying out across the canvas. I huffed and pinched the bridge off my nose as he made fake crying noises, blinking up at me slowly, “See? I’m huwt.”

I closed my eyes to compose myself and control the need to kick him in the balls for being cringy, “Don’t talk like that, oh, my God.”

“Do you hate it?” He grinned evilly as I walked off the canvas, and to look at me, he turned onto his stomach as he cupped his chin and raised his legs to swing them in the air. He looked like a mess with the paint all over his hair, face, and body, some having gotten onto his pants too now that he was laying on the canvas. I chuckled and shook my head as I eyed my boyfriend, knowing that I looked probably just as messy as him.

“I do, actually, you’re only cute when you’re not trying to be cute.” I deadpanned and Mingi huffed dramatically, letting his arms fall as he pressed his forehead against them. Eyes falling on his round ass, I knew it was my time for payback, and I moved swiftly before he could realize what I was aiming for—it wouldn’t be the first time—so I quickly kneeled next to him and leaned down, baring my teeth as I opened my mouth wide. At first, Mingi jumped when my teeth made contact with his jeans and then when I bit down hard, he yelped, soon turning into loud cries as I continued to bite his left ass cheek harder and harder. He started flailing around and I pulled back with a cackle after I made sure my teeth had sunken in deep enough. But, I had no time to react as he quickly turned around and leaped onto me, landing on top of me as I fell back onto the canvas, no doubt smudging even more whatever paint hadn’t dried yet.

Mingi got on top of me, sitting on my hips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, pinning me to the floor. I smirked as I raised my eyebrows tauntingly at him, watching his eyes slowly rake over my body to take me in.

“That hurt.”

“Fair enough, it hurt too when you slapped my ass.”

“Well, you have no right to whine so much about it anymore.”

“I do if you keep slapping it, and I also have the right to bite your ass as revenge.”

Mingi’s eyes narrowed and I giggled as he slowly leaned down, placing his hands on both sides of my head to prop himself up, effectively caging me between himself and the floor. I continued looking at him challengingly as he bit his bottom lip, eyes never settling as they searched my face for even a fraction that showed that I would back down. But I wouldn’t, and he knew that by now as he suddenly smirked too, leaning so close our lips brushed against each other.

“I think I won, doll.”

“I didn’t know we were in a contest, love.”

And then he sealed his lips against mine, shutting up the both of us in the most effective way as our lips moved slowly, savoring each other’s taste and lips. Mingi shifted above me and I eagerly opened my legs to let him settle between them as I hugged his torso, hands raking up and down his back slowly as his hips pressed firmly against mine. I smirked against Mingi’s lips when his breath hitched in the back of his throat due to my fingers tangling into his short strands now a little crusty from the red paint in it, it was no secret that Mingi liked it when I pulled on his hair. He cupped my chin with one hand as he pressed his weight on his left arm, the only cue I needed to open up my mouth to grant him access. We both sighed in contentment as his tongue slowly glided against mine, my legs coming up around his hips to lock Mingi’s body against mine.

Mingi moaned when I tangled my fingers just a little harder into his hair, letting him lap at my tongue as he explored my mouth, my body growing hotter as the seconds passed by, hands slipping under his loose tank top to feel up his warm skin. The skin of his back was smooth and I pressed my nails into it as I slowly racked it up his back, feeling Mingi shiver against my body as he jerked his hips forward, making me hum against his mouth as he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and clamped down on it, sucking hard. I groaned and dug my nails into his shoulders, pulling my head back to be able to lean up and press kisses against his lean neck, his cologne mixing with the paint that was smeared all over us. My lips were hot as I parted them to press wet kisses against his flesh, sucking in the areas I knew Mingi was sensitive to, making him groan and jerk his hips forward again. With a hand slipping down to his hips, I gripped him firmly and prompted him to grind against me, Mingi’s head buried in my hair as I continued to press kisses until I reached his collarbones, gripping the hem of his tank top. He wasted no second as he pulled back just slightly, slipping the fabric off his torso, leaving it bare for me as I grinned at him, feeling his chest and abs up as he worked at the clips of my overall.

I kissed the skin between his pectorals and then pressed up on my elbows as Mingi made quick work of slipping the overall down to my waist and ultimately out of them as goosebumps covered the bare skin of my legs. We threw the overalls off to the side and Mingi was then moving back, down between my legs as he hovered above my thighs, eyes boring into mine as he pressed a feather-like kiss against my left thigh. I gulped and fisted my palms as heat pooled in my lower stomach, his lips always featherlight as he advanced higher up on my thighs with nips and kisses, sometimes licking at the skin teasingly. I knew my cheeks were flushed as I felt hotter by the minute and I shuddered when his lips pressed against my core through the fabric of my panties, making the breath hitch in the back of my throat. Mingi smirked and did it once again before he licked a slow strip upward, closing his eyes to hum, and I let my fingers tangle in his hair as he tapped my inner thigh, moving away from where I wanted him most.

He sat back to undo the buttons and zipper of his jeans, and I watched in anticipation as he slipped the fabric off his thick thighs and ass slowly, in a teasing manner, bottom lip between his teeth as he was half hard already, eyes hooded once he was done with his half-assed striptease. I chuckled and he was all over me again, hips flushed against mine again as I wrapped my legs around his hips, eager to feel his heavy body press me down into the floor. Mingi’s fingers gingerly traveled from my waist up to the hem of my blouse and then he brought it over my head and arms, landing in the pile of clothes to the side. And then his lips were over mine again, licking into my mouth and biting my lip messily as he slowly ground his hips against mine, making me hold onto him as it was easy to feel him in just our underwear. One of my hands went to tease at the elastic of his boxers and, despite him talking shit about it, I knew he liked it when I kneaded his ass, the skin sensitive for him there.

Mingi moaned and ground just a little harder against me, making me burn for him more as he cupped one of my boobs through the bra, pinching the bud as our tongues moved messily without much purpose or goal, too focused on how our bodies felt with the ministrations done to it. As he pressed himself up on his elbow, the hand that grabbed my boob traveled lower on my body until it was inside my panties and rubbing circles against my clit, making me moan out his name loudly, his length grinding up against my thigh as he bit my collarbone, making me screw my eyes shut as I was throbbing for him. But he was a little shit and he only teased, rubbing but never quite letting his fingers slip inside as he chuckled against my ear, making me grit my teeth at him as I gripped his wrist to keep him pressing against my clit as my hips kicked off the floor.

“You’re wet, doll.”

“And you’re not doing enough, love.”

Mingi chuckled again and I moaned as he teasingly slipped just the tip of his finger inside, his rings cold against my burning skin, my nails digging into the flesh of his ass. Mingi groaned and pulled back, making me groan in frustration as I glared at him, but he quickly silenced me with his lips as I felt him pull down my panties, I shimmied my hips to help him get over with it faster. He grinned and nipped at my bottom lip as I pushed his boxers off too, grabbing his dick to teasingly rub at his slit, making him hiss against my lips as our eyes fluttered open.

“What? Only you can tease?” Mingi’s eyes were dark and narrowed as he bucked against my hand, my pace awfully slow in jerking him off, “I could tell you to get off me and I would go on with my merry day—”

“Sure,” Mingi grinned, lips ghosting against my ear as his voice had dropped lower than usual, grabbing my wrist to stop my movements, “but you love my dick too much to pass up on it.”

I scoffed but said nothing, perhaps a little too desperate to have it inside me finally. I hated it when he teased me too much, and because Mingi knew this, he never passed up on the opportunity to get on my nerves even when we were having sex. He enjoyed it perhaps a little bit too much. But the teasing was finally over as he had gotten enough of it, eager to push in as he lined himself up with my entrance, pressing a kiss against my lips.

“I don’t have a condom.” He whispered, eyes searching mine.

“Just pull out, I’m fine.” I circled his shoulders, embracing myself as my core throbbed, eager to have his size expand my walls. Mingi hummed and then pressed another kiss against my lips as he slowly pushed inside, having to take it slow as he didn’t stretch me out with his fingers first, the burn insistent despite our active sex life. I still haven’t gotten used to it, but I didn’t mind as it only made me wetter for him, more eager to take him. Mingi’s bottom lip was between his teeth as he kept his breath labored, concentrating on not hurting me and taking it slow until I said so. I let my fingers run through his hair as I sighed, trying to relax my muscles and just melt into his arms, pressing a kiss against his cheek when he paused abruptly, shuddering.

“You’re so tight,” His voice was barely above a whisper and strained, “I’m about to burst.”

“So soon?” I asked with a chuckle, teasing as it earned me a sharp glare, “And whose fault it is I’m so tight? Your fingers are there for a reason.”

“Shut up.” Mingi groaned and then pressed in fully, a gasp leaving my throat at the sudden move, eyebrows scrunching up as he pressed in deep, making me feel fuller than before. My walls clamped down against his dick and Mingi pressed his forehead against mine as I embraced him, letting my fingers tangle in the short hair against his nape. I nodded, eyes boring into each other, and then Mingi was moving, slowly at first, pulling out only halfway before he was pressing back in, sighs leaving my lips as the pleasure was slowly building up, my hips moving in an attempt to meet his thrusts.

He secured his knees better against the canvas and pressed up on his elbows, hovering over me as his cross necklace dangled in my face, and the image was way too good and hot, knocking a moan out of me as he started thrusting faster, hips slamming back against mine as our pace got faster and more urgent, our breathy moans falling against each other’s lips as I nipped on Mingi’s bottom lip. I hooked a finger against the silver chain as his nose scrunched up, hips slamming back against mine with more purpose, more power, and eagerness as he looked down between our bodies, a grunt leaving his lips as he enjoyed the view. I hooked my legs tighter around his hips and prompted him to move faster, most of my moans were swallowed as we had to remember that we were at university still, in my own studio, so we couldn’t be too vocal. The walls here weren’t soundproof like in Mingi’s studio, yet staying quiet proved to become harder and harder as Mingi started pistoning his hips, grunts turned into low moans as he slammed his lips against mine, our breaths getting swallowed as our teeth knocked together, saliva gathering in the corner of our mouths as I pressed my hands against the small of his back, my own arching off the floor for an even better angle, keening his name when he finally reached the spot that had me seeing stars.

But Mingi was a diligent man who took his time in everything he did, even sex, and if he could prolong our orgasms, then he certainly would, so I had no doubt we’d be at it for a while, subsequently making us late to Aurora’s opening. And we couldn’t have that happening, but our brains were too fogged up and busy with something else to notice Wooyoung’s insistent texts on Mingi’s phone or my mother’s call to remind me I had to be home in fifteen minutes to start getting ready. Oh, well.

            Turns out, we got there just in time and nobody screamed our ears off—I’m looking at you Wooyoung—and Seonghwa was certainly overwhelmed when he saw the number of people that showed up for the opening. It was a mix of all age groups and people who knew Seonghwa and Hongjoong from different places, like Hongjoong’s employees or Seonghwa’s colleagues from his major, and there were even more fans of Zenith Noir that showed up, surprising all three of the guys. Seulgi and I stood to the side with grins on our faces as their fans swarmed them and gushed about the beautiful designs Seonghwa had displayed, some put behind glass to protect the expensive material Hongjoong’s team had worked on, and some even put out to be tried on and bought if someone desired to do so.

Seonghwa’s speech had been an emotional one in which he thanked everyone for their support and Hongjoong for believing in him and offering him opportunities he thought were real only in a far-fetched dream, and then I got teary-eyed when Seonghwa’s family surprised him with cake and hugs and praises, making me extremely happy for being able to chase his dreams. The matching rings Hongjoong and he had on their ring finger were eye-catching to those who didn’t know about their engagement, and it was Hongjoong who proudly announced it to the whole room while Seonghwa flushed and tried not to hide behind Hongjoong despite being taller than his fiancé. It was a sight to behold and I wasn’t surprised to feel Mingi cuddle up into my side and sniff loudly as he watched his friends with a proud smile on his lips, Wooyoung amusingly quiet for once.

When everyone was done appreciating Seonghwa’s efforts and creations, he announced with a cheeky smile that the next time anyone visited, the front lobby would be decorated by other artists’ works, but because I had a special request, tonight my works were displayed in the room adjacent to this. I felt my heart in my throat as Seonghwa led us towards the dark room, then our eyes met and I nodded with a small smile, biting my bottom lip as the light switch was flipped on, coating the room in light. I turned to look at Mingi in anticipation as his eyes widened, and he broke free of the crowd, hurrying inside to take in the entirety of the room, from being incredulous to teary-eyed and then looking like the happiest man on Earth, I couldn’t help it but let my heart swell in happiness and pride as I watched him chuckle and look at me with eyes filled with pure and honest love.

The soft sage green walls were decorated with two portraits of Mingi I had sketched out right at the beginning when I had met him, when I wasn’t so familiar with all of his features yet. Then it progressed to the moments I had captivated as our relationship slowly progressed into that of friendship, us sitting in his car, Mingi driving, Mingi laughing at making me flustered, Mingi’s sharp eyes watching me in a faceless crowd, Mingi up on stage shining like the star he is, Mingi gazing at me with yearning in his eyes, Mingi hugging me warmly into his chest, Mingi chewing on his bottom lip in concentration as he sat in his chair in his studio, working on his music, Mingi looking upset because I rudely disregarded everything that’s happened between us, Mingi angry because I was too stubborn to admit my feelings for him, too afraid to move on from Yunho, and at last, Mingi smiling so widely his eyes disappeared, nose scrunched up and his front teeth showing a little more than usual, pure happiness painting his face.

There was a low murmur amongst the crowd as everyone took in the sketches, drawings, and paintings, but I was only focused on Mingi and his reaction to seeing the stages of our relationship displayed through my eyes, my feelings, and my thoughts. And then, more towards the end of the exposition, there was an old sketch of Yunho I had done while still mulling over the failure of our relationship, and right next to it was a painting of both Yunho and Mingi as they sat next to each other, laughing about whatever was funny at that moment. I had captured the moment when Mingi, me, Yunho, and his girlfriend had gone out for dinner, and then I decided I wanted to paint it twice and gift it to Mingi and Yunho for Christmas. I suppose Mingi would get his sooner than Yunho, I’m sure neither would mind.

Seonghwa announced that I was the artist behind the creations and the room erupted in cheers and claps as people complimented me on my talent, but my eyes were on Mingi only as his blazer was glittery underneath the white light, matching my floor-length glittery black dress. He opened his arms and I didn’t waste any more seconds to approach him and let him crush me in his arms, his embrace warm and reassuring as he pressed his face into my hair, exhaling loudly as I embraced him back just as tightly, closing my eyes as my heart was racing. These past three months I spent next to him had been the best time of my life ever, he made me happier and feel safer than anyone else ever. He helped me get better at controlling my explosive emotions and he helped me slowly break down the walls I so defensively built up after Yunho’s departure. He made me unafraid to love and to receive love, he made me want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wanted a forever with him.

“I love you, Mingi.” And it was the first time I voiced those thoughts, voice clear but quiet so that only he’d hear it. I felt Mingi freeze, a gasp leaving his mouth as he pulled back, holding me at arm's length as I smiled at him softly, “I love you.”

Mingi gulped as his eyes suddenly turned teary, and he cupped my cheeks as he lowered his head to press his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply as he nodded his head. He’d said those three words to me before, unafraid and unashamed to let me know how he truly felt towards me, and I finally found the courage to say it back. I finally was ready to let him know just how much I felt for him, that I loved him just as much as he loved me.

“I love you, Y/N, so much.” His voice trembled and he kept his eyes closed out of fear of having the tears escape them, and I hummed, resting my hands on his shoulders as I gently rubbed the skin of his neck in an attempt to soothe him.

“I love you just as much, Mingi.”

And he smiled, pressing his warm lips against mine with the unspoken promise that this would last forever, that this was what we both had been searching for. Safety, contentment, honesty, friendship, and freedom, a love that was honest and unafraid. It seemed like our future was rather promising, next to him, I could take on anything. We won’t forget to look at the moon tonight.

I love you, Song Mingi.

A/N: So, hello once again, I am so-so grateful if you made it 'til the end. I cannot believe I'm actually finished with this story and it's a really bittersweet feeling actually, because I am as happy as sad, no joke I kinda cried a little bit. I absolutely love the character and personality I have created for Mingi in this story and I love MC and his dynamic so much, that I find it so freaking hard to let go of them omg, what's happening to me?!

I just really really want to thank everyone who stuck around from start to finish, or from the middle of the story, or showed up as we neared the end of it, I am so so grateful to you all for being patient with me and showering me with love and making me look forward to posting. I was always so excited about a new chapter because I wanted it to be the best, and when I felt like it wasn't, you reassured me that it was and it made me really happy.

I started this story nine months ago, back on the 15th of December, which is funnily enough my sister's birthday so now I will never forget the date I posted it lol, and I find it so freaking crazy that this whole story came from a random brainstorming with my best friend in my car (@orshii), right as we finished our classes at university, brains fried off and ready to end everything, and yet, here I am, trying not to cry again ffs because of how much I grew to love every character in the story.

A little insight: the story at first started out as a random plot that was somewhat similar to 10 Things I Hate About You (which is one of my favorite movies) as Mingi was inspired by Patrick's character and our MC by Kat's, but as time went on, the story and our characters became their own and thus this is how Love Me Like A Rockstar was created. Back at that time I was also obsessed with this song, which played a part in the story becoming a rockstar!au beside Mingi acting like a whole ass rockstar during Crazy Form era lol, and even the title is inspired by the censored version of the song.

I think I made this note already too long, so I'll try to wrap it up. I really want to thank absolutely everyone who reads the whole story, to my loyal readers who were here for every chapter and for all of your thoughts and theories and for making me smile, really. Those who stumbled upon this when it's already finished, I hope you enjoyed each chapter and had fun exploring the world I created (this applies to those too who stuck around while it was still on-going) and I always appreciate your feedback, it's never too late! Thank you everyone, and I hope to see you back for my other stories! <3

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[shycloudkitty]

JUST A LITTLE TOUCH

Summary: You have been in a friends with benefits relationship with Leon for almost two years. After one of your *stress relief* sessions with Leon, things start to change between you both when he takes one small step in opening himself.

Pairing: RE6 Leon Kennedy! × Fem! Reader

Tags: Mentions of sex in some parts, pure fluff, drinking, angst with lots of comfort.

A/N: Hello guys! I am so so excited for my first fic ever!!! I am so happy rn. Happy new year to you all🥰🥰🥰. Hope you all enjoy this!! Don't forget to show your appreciation by liking it, commenting on it and reblogging on it. A huge thanks to @nexysworld @luniaxi @elfven-blog @kennedyswhore for encouraging me🥰🥰🥰.

Words in bold and italics are Leon thoughts. Like this…

Also guys there's only one sentence which is only in bold and not italics so be careful about it. 🤭🤭

Word count : 5.2K

The room was warm after the shared moments between you and him. Sheets crumpled, Hair messed up, scent of sweat and sex still lingering in the air a little bit. You were lying in bed sleeping and resting yourself after one of many wonderful moments you had with Leon.

Your eyes flutter open slightly and you stretched your arms a bit. As you did you realised he wasn’t lying beside you… That definitely you woke up. Even if he wasn’t that much into cuddling he still used to be beside you. You frowned and sighed tiredly then slowly sat up. Looking around the room you rubbed your face to get the sleepiness out of you. Two years of doing this and by now you could probably guess what he was doing by now.

Probably needed a drink.

That’s what he usually did…You knew after sex he tended to be a bit *disconnected* his mood used to be off. After you guys were done and saw him spacing out, you often used to hold his hand, squeezing it gently and kissing his cheek lightly. He used to give a small smile and sometimes… you did catch him blushing once in a while which was adorable.

You slowly got up from bed and stretched your arms above your head and sighed softly. You wore your shirt and your shorts. And made your way towards the living room.

There he was… Reaching up to his liquor cabinet and taking out one of his whiskey bottles. His back turned to you. Wearing one of his blue shirts and grey sweatpants. You swear you never saw that cabinet empty, sometimes it was even more stocked than his fridge.

He took one of the glasses and poured himself a drink. “Want anything to drink?” His gruff voice echoed in the room. He didn’t had to look up and turn his back to see you were awake. His senses were sharp after all.

You walk towards him and lean against the counter and smile at him. “Sure… Would love one right now…” You never liked it when he used to just get so lonely. You just wanted to help him… a little bit. It was hard not to care for a guy like him.

He sets a second glass In front of you and pours some for you. Still looking pretty unphased. He finally looks up at you and passes you the glass. You could see it in his eyes that he was there… but not there at the same time. But you knew him long enough, had an understanding of each other, even if he’s not openly emotional, he appreciates the company.

You decided to break the ice when you just saw him staring at you… spacing out a bit. You gave one of your playful smiles and in a teasing tone asked. “Why the long face? Am I really that terrible in bed?” taking a sip of your drink.

He doesn’t take well to teasing sometimes, but that gets a rare chuckle out of him. “Maybe” he teases back.

You scoff lightly, giving him an offended look and playfully say “Ouch. Didn’t know we were giving each other reviews… want me to give you one?”

He chuckles again and with a cocky smirk says. “I guess it will be 10 out of 10 considering how much I had you begging for more at the end of it.” His voice sultry.

More like 11 out of 10 but who’s counting anyways?

You scoff and look away to hide your flustered face. “You… are insufferable.” Not wanting to admit the fact he was right.

Leon chuckles for a while, his mood slightly better but after a moment he sighs and says. “Just… been thinking.” He usually didn’t admit what he was feeling at the moment always kept his true feelings and face hidden.

You look up at him and softly said “About work?” He nods and that’s all you get. He walks over to the couch and sits down with a light huff “Mmhmm”.

You sit beside him on the couch and slowly ask “Is it important or just overthinking”. He looks down at his drink, thinking. He sighs. “Bit of both, really…” He chuckles lightly. He can’t deny how right you were. It’s eating at him a bit.

There’s a stretch of silence between you two after that. Leon looking at his drink and taking a small sip of it while you sit beside him thinking how to comfort him on that. Like… What do you even say to the person who had a much rougher life than any normal person had? After much thinking, you then scoot closer to him and gently pat his back and give him a soft smile. You don’t know if that action was awkward or comforting. You looked like you were patting a sad child. But you didn’t know what else to do & you really wanted to be there for him.

He was surprised a bit, looking over at you he couldn’t help himself but smile at your action. It did help him, even a little bit. “I just…” He stops, a hint of pain in his voice. “I just wish I could tell you…everything.”

What? Did he really said that? Did he really felt like that? Your eyes widened and you stopped smiling momentarily. That was so unusual of him… You then slowly regained your composure and slowly asked him. “Oh so… do you wanna talk about it?”.

“No” He replied almost too quickly, shaking his head. “I mean…Look, I can’t.” And gulps down his whiskey in one go like it was water. He’s never quite been this… vulnerable around you before. It’s like he’s a little taken aback at his own actions.

You still smile at him and kiss his cheek lightly. “That’s okay…” He can’t help a slight blush, before looking away. “…Thanks.” God was he awkward.

He sighs, looking over at his liquor cabinet. He considers getting another drink. He gets up and glances at you briefly for a second and says. “I’m gonna…go get a refill.” “Want anything else?” He asked.

Now that you think about it, you could use something to eat. “Mmm… yeah I am a bit hungry.”

He nods and says “Hungry, huh? I’ll order us some food.” He grins a bit as he walks away, heading towards the kitchen. “We can watch a movie till it gets here.” He says, over his shoulder and pours himself another drink.

You chuckle lightly and say in a light hearted manner. “Uh huh.. A movie you say? Which one?”

Leon stops for a moment, his back still facing you and simply say. “Horror movie. I wanna scare you a bit.” You groan and he glances over his shoulder at you smiling. “Or maybe I should be the scared one?” Chuckling a bit at his own words. “I know you love horror stuff.”

No you don’t. At what part of you hiding your face behind a pillow whenever a jumpscare comes and scares the shit out of you, was loving ‘horror stuff’? You roll your eyes and look at him raising an eyebrow at him. “Oh come on…You just wanna watch me scream. That’s what you really like.”

You mentally face palm yourself as you realize what you just said and watch as he smirks and starts to say. “I mean I do make you scream whenever you are here so…”

You narrowed your eyes at him and he laughed seeing your reaction. You groaned. Him and his cheesiness. “I didn’t mean it that way and you know it… You are such a big meanie.”

He chuckled and poured himself his third drink and doesn’t turn around and sarcastically says “Am not. I’m a big softie.” A big smirk present on his face.

“And hey, I’ll let you choose the movie. So go ahead. Pick it out.” Coming back to the couch and taking his phone out to place order for two pizzas which doesn’t take long to order as he does remember your favourite. It wasn’t like this was first movie night you guys had. You used to have them whenever he was bored or wanted to keep his mind off things. Eating pizza or ramen while you rambled to him about your day while he patiently just listened to each word. Although… you both soon got distracted and moved things to the bedroom… so it will always ended on a splendid note.

You laugh and teasingly say. “Ohh… don’t give me that much power or I will make you watch a chick flick with me.”

He laughed and looked up at her and gave her a dramatically sigh. “I mean, I could suffer through it. You’re worth it.” He grins when he watches you blush and shyly look away.

He was never going to admit it out loud but he loved making you blush, watching that rose pink colour slowly filled your cheeks. He always thought that it suited you. And he didn’t even had to do much, he could compliment you anytime and you would shyly look away trying to show his words weren’t affecting you but the colour on your cheeks told him everything that needed to know.

He then shrugs and says. “But really, I’ve never been all that scared of horror.” As if to prove his point, he pulls his sleeves back a little, revealing claw marks and scars on his forearm. “I’ve been through a lot worse than a jumpscare and some spooky music.” Chuckling a bit at the end.

You bit your lip and looked at his forearm with a sense of pity. There were old scars which had faded replaced by new ones. You knew he used to work in DSO and fought bioweapons. Yeah he told you, reluctantly when you probed him about his job. But that was it. He never ever shared on what he had to go through in his job. And honestly looking at it… you really couldn’t even begin to imagine on what he had to see or face through.

And it isn’t really the first time seeing them but looking up at them close…That was different. You slowly bring your hand and gently trace his scars with your fingers. A bit curious how they were formed in the first place. You looked up at him concern visible in your eyes.

He doesn’t say a word at your touch. He notices your hesitation but was too focused on the fact that you touched them willingly. Don’t you find them ugly? It’s not like they were pretty to look at. He doesn’t often show anyone his scars, and he’s never quite let you touch them before. He looks down at you, surprised at your curiosity over them. Looking back down at your touch again, not quite knowing what to do or say. Should he have stopped you? He thinks to himself.

You then hesitantly asks. “...Is that what you always go through?” Your voice low as you tried to imagine the horrors he had to go through.

His eyes follow your touch as you continue with it. He watches you with a sort of silent disbelief as you ask your question. To him, his work is just…normal. But you look at him like you just asked him the world. He sighs and says. “I've been in plenty of bad situations, yeah,” he chuckles lightly and sips his drink. “But its… it’s what I do. Someone’s gotta do it.”

You removed your hand as he started to roll down his sleeves a bit hurriedly, hiding them away before you asked something else. You look up at him and say. “Must be hard… that’s very brave of you…” you were a bit surprised on how casual he was about all this. But all he did was shrug and reply “I can’t really say I’m brave, just doing my job. Like I said, someone’s gotta do it.”

He drains his glass, looking at it and scoffing to himself a bit and replies. “But Thanks…” sensing the topic was over you didn’t probe him further than that.

Soon his door bell rings and he gets up to receive the order. Comes back and sets down the boxes. He looks at you and raises an eyebrow. “Wanna eat and choose the movie?”

You chuckle and nod. “Sounds good…” You pass him your glass to refill it and he does that. Keeping the bottle on the coffee table as you browsed on Netflix on what to watch. “So how about conjuring..?”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Pick something scary. That’s nothing.”

You frown at him and say. “Hey that’s scary…” Leon shakes his head and takes the remote. “Give me that…” and starts browsing.

You scoff and try to take back the remote and say. “No way, last time you chose hereditary and I had to sleep with lights on that night.”

Leon doesn’t give back the remote and say. “Well I won’t choose that then. What about midsommar?”

Your eyes widen and try to take back the remote again and say. “No way, give me that. I hate cult movies.”

After 10 minutes of you guys fighting on which movie to see. You both decide to watch IT. Which already has you hiding your face behind a cushion. He chuckles seeing you that way and pats your knee lightly and puts an arm around you. “Don’t worry, I won’t let that clown take you down the drain with him and make you float.”

You chuckle and teasingly say. “Aww… will you keep me safe and tucked away from him?”

Leon rolls his eyes and chuckles. He replies sarcastically. “Yeah yeah I will…be your knight in shining armor.” Looking at you with a cocky smirk which had you giggling.

You shake your head and eat your slice and so does he as you relax and watch the movie. He looks over at you as you hide your face in his shoulder when it got scary, peeking a little bit to watch the screen not wanting to miss it. He smiled to himself.

You were really so cute to him… so innocent and sweet. Sometimes all he wanted was to tuck you away in a safe place and watch over you, keeping a sweet thing like you away from every horrific things he had witnessed.

“Are you cozy?” he asks suddenly. But your body language gives it away-he can tell you’re comfortable. He feels his heart pound in his chest as he feels something fuzzy inside. What am I even doing?. It was clear that he was enjoying this too but he really didn’t wanna show that he was enjoying this too much. You smile and nod.

“Yeah It’s really cozy… you make a really cozy pillow you know.” Chuckling softly at him. He chuckles too finding your description of him amusing.

“Oh am I?” His gaze returns to the screen. He was definitely trying to be flirty as he felt his cheeks warm up a bit. But a nagging feeling deep inside his mind just keeps eating him. This is…dangerous. Can’t stay like this for longer.

While his mind runs wild with all the chaotic thoughts bubbling over while you were looking at the same forearm which had rolled up a bit giving another peek at his scars. You couldn’t help but get distracted by it. His whole attitude about how this was just work and how aloof he was about the whole ordeal. It just didn’t sit right with you. He couldn’t be numb to all of this… or was he? You think for a moment. He never got this close. Like never. And you never forced him either, it’s not like you were obligated to know about his work or nightmares…or his demons.

Your curiosity bubbled over and slowly brought your hand and shifted his sleeves a bit more to look at them. Doing it slowly so to not disturb him in that moment. And gently tracing small, slow circles on one of the scars.

His eyes widened a bit and looks down at your slow touch, calming him down almost instantly and pulling him to reality and away from his drowning thoughts. Your gentle touch, the circles you create. He feels a warm sensation run up his arm, and he suddenly feels… odd. He looks over at you, but can’t meet your gaze for more than a few seconds before he looks back down. He stares at your hand touching his arm, not moving away or resisting. His heart pounds faster. He doesn’t feel cold anymore. He feels too warm. It’s hard not to melt under your touch. You then ask him softly. “You never allowed me to touch them like this before...” your gaze fixed at the scars.

This will never be ‘normal' to you. Will never make you think like this wasn’t a big deal or that the things he used to do weren’t ‘brave' or that it was 'just a job’. Even lasting this long in this field was an achievement in itself. This job took so much away from him… but he’s still standing... But at what cost?

“I didn’t want you to be worried, that’s all. Like I said, it’s… normal to me. Like any other day.” He tries to brush it off and return his focus to the movie. But he can’t help but find himself sneaking glances at his arm. And your fingers making slow, even circles on his skin. He feels his stomach sinking, but he doesn’t fight it like he usually would…

You shake your head and look up at him. Biting your lip a bit and softly whispering. “No… I mean… you didn’t let me touch them like this… is that the only reason you didn’t let me touch them before?”

Leon swallows, realizing what you’re trying to say. He looks back at your hand looking at your loving touch, his heart pounding in his chest was not helping him either. And he wonders If she’s this intimate with me… Why did I try to shut it down earlier? Is this how it feels?

“Were you… Afraid? That I would judge you?” Your soft voice bringing him to reality once more and making him think about that answer. Torn between telling you the truth or lying to avoid being vulnerable further and be dismissive about it.

But maybe it was your voice that gave his poor soul a hope that someone gave a damn about him, your eyes which were curious but also concerned for him or your soothing touch which had some miraculous power to be able to quiet down his anxiety and trauma driven thoughts. So he opens up. Just once.

He's silent for a few more moments and nods. “… yeah. I was.” He says after a while, his voice quiet. He looks down at your fingers again thinking why would you even bother making him feel better about himself. “You've never been close… like this with me… so… intimate.” He murmurs. “I was scared to let you get this close, I… I wanted it. But I…” He doesn’t need to complete that sentence, you can guess what he means.

He feels a soft peck on his cheek, feeling your soft lips lingering there for a moment. Just a little kiss to calm down his nervousness. And it works… he’s distracted that you did it but also so grateful. He looks over at you, still not used to expressing your attraction to him in these intimate ways. He blushes slightly, a look of soft confusion on his face once more, but he doesn’t seem to mind this time.

“Right…” He mumbles, glancing back at the screen and getting shy. He was so awkward he couldn’t express himself like you could but he also wanted to show you he cared so he brought you close just a little bit as your head was still resting on his shoulder and leaned into you slightly. It’s only a bit. Just enough to get a response, but not too much that he’s pushing the line.

You noticed his efforts and looked up at him with a smile. You couldn’t help but admire the way his hair fell perfectly across his face some of it concealing his blush but just enough to reveal he was blushing and was shy. And his icy blue eyes that shows that he isn’t completely numb to everything life has to offer…

You scoot closer to him almost cuddling with him. And squeeze his arm gently and touches his scars again but this time drawing small stars on them. “Is this uncomfortable?”

He tries not to make a sound afraid that he might ruin this moment. As he feels all these new feelings flow through him making his heart skip a few beats. His body language is soft and comfortable with you.

He swallows and shakes his head. “…no. It’s nice.” He mumbles. He doesn’t move away, or push your hand off him. He then looks down at your hand drawing stars around his scars and sighed softly. A soft smile on his face. He then looks back at the screen but his thoughts focused on you. The movie was almost finished but you both continued to watch it in comfortable silence. He’s always been a nervous guy, but these nerves are the good kind.

You then slowly stop drawing stars and gently hold his hand, intertwining his fingers with yours and he feels like his heart could burst out of his chest right now. Feeling your skin on his, your warmth flowing into his soul. He looks at the movie, then at you. How did we get here? When did things… change? Is this for the better or worse? Why even care for a monster like him? He wonders. He looks at your hands intertwined in his. And he swallows hard. He doesn’t pull away, or move your hand. He lets it happen.

“Can I ask you something?” your soft voice comes through and he looks down at you. He nods without hesitation, his head still facing the screen even if the movie was finished and credits were rolling. “Go ahead.” He says, his voice low but still soft.

You clear your throat. You were a bit nervous to ask this questions cause well…it was personal. “You know you don’t have to answer it or anything but I am just curious…Umm…On your missions. Did it ever feel like you won’t return?”

He thinks for a moment, then softly chuckles. “Once or twice…” He mumbles still not facing you. “But I guess when you do this every day… you get used to it.” He swallows hard and sighs. “I have…considered it before though.” He says after a few moments. What would my funeral be like? He had wondered before. Would you even care enough to show up for the last time? Will there be other people there singing how great he was like they did now or would he be tossed aside like trash and replaced by someone young and better, forgotten by all of his peers? Would you just… move on to someone else without giving him a second thought? He shook his head to toss aside those thoughts but he couldn’t. They plagued his mind day and night like a curse.

You nod listening to his words, seeing him space out once more in his thoughts. You then softly say. “And what did it felt like… when you actually returned home? When you thought it was probably your last day on earth… What did it felt like when you came back?” you imagined he was relieved of course but you wanted to listen to him.

You were probably the first person who actually cared enough to ask what he ‘felt’ after & during those awful, god-forsaken missions. You were also the first one who wanted to listen to his story who wouldn’t dismiss him saying ‘this is part of the job’ or ‘everyone goes through this… suck it up’. No you were more kind hearted than that and he couldn’t help but slowly succumb to that kindness.

He swallows hard, glancing at you. He closes his eyes for a moment to think about your question, your hand still intertwining his. Giving him something to ground himself and calm him down. He sighs, and opens his eyes again.

“Relief.” He says simply.

“Relief that I’m not dead. Joy that I came back alive. And… and…” He pauses for a moment, searching for the right words – only to fail to find them. He looks down again looking at the joined hands.

You smile from his words and try to complete his sentence. “Grateful?”

He looks at you, considering your words for a moment. He looks back down and swallows hard and nods. “Yeah. Yeah, grateful. Definitely.” He chuckles, his voice soft and quiet. “And…” He pauses for a moment and adds. “Sometimes a little guilty.” He whispers, looking back at the screen.

That catches you a bit off guard. After all why would he feel guilty when he came back alive? Not expecting him to say of all things. And simply ask “Why?”

“Some of my teammates… they… never made it back. And I should be with them.” He glances back at you. “But I don’t want to be…” He says after a few moments.

He needs a hug. He looks at you, wanting to bury his face in your neck and wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tightly till your warmth envelops him and make him feel safe. But he feels awkward asking for it. Like…would you consider him a weirdo if he asked you for it? He looks away from you and tries not to show the fact he needed someone to just hold him.

You squeeze his hand gently not knowing how far you can go… afraid that he would pull back at any moment after opening so much to you. And softly said. “I am sorry about that…”

He looks down at your hand, your soft skin was a direct contrast when compared to his. His hands calloused and rough but that didn’t stop you from being gentle with him. He then nods, “Thanks.” He says softly and sighs a bit in relief. Feeling a bit better after talking about it.

But he couldn’t help but realize that he was falling for you just like this? And it all felt… so nice? Is that how it feels when you fall in love with someone?

You then look up at him and clear your throat once more. This time you more nervous cause you had a *small* confession to make. “Uhh… by the way… just so you know. I do care, wondering when you will be back. I always wish you come back in one piece.” A blush rising in your cheeks after saying that.

Leon looked down at you surprised and after few beats of silence he softly asks. “Really?” His expression soft and vulnerable.

Honestly, it was a bit hard for you to open up too. You both have never been so… emotionally close like this during the time you have been together. So it’s a bit unnerving but if he could open up so much, you could too.

With a smile you replied. “Well yeah… I mean who would tease me with their awful cheesy jokes when we have movie nights like these…” Trying to make the moment light-hearted with a bit of teasing.

Leon couldn’t help but laugh a bit from the comment and roll his eyes and says. “Yeah? That’s what I am for? Make you laugh with my ‘cheesy jokes'?”

You chuckled and playfully nodded. “Yes… obviously.”

“I can’t believe you are using me just for jokes.” Playfully narrowing his eyes at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh “Well… I can’t help it. I just love your jokes which make me roll my eyes and groan at how stupid they are...”

After a beat, you both share a laugh and Leon playfully says. “You are more cheesy than me.”

“Your fault by the way…” Making Leon smirk a little bit.

You rest your head back on his shoulder and sigh contentedly.

It feels better now that you both have talked about your ‘feelings'. Much more relaxed… Maybe feelings don’t have to be complicated. Walls that you both made back then to protect oneself from a possible heartbreak were slowly crumbling down and you didn’t seem to mind it and neither did he.

Leon sighs and softly says. “Thank you… By the way… I know I am not easy to be with…” Holding you closer and caressing your arm gently.

You shake your head and reply softly. “No, it’s not that… it’s okay. I am actually… okay…with how you are.”

“Really?” He asks, with glancing at you look at your expression. He swallows, his heart racing once more.

You bring your intertwined hands closer and press a kiss to the side of his hand and smile at him. “Yeah… I never found you difficult to be with. I am more myself when I am with you…” Your own heart races at your another small confession, which was huge to him.

Leon swallows, he was sure that you made his heart stop with your words and that little kiss. He looks away from you for a moment and takes a deep breath then looks back at you.

“You don’t find me difficult? A bit too much to be with? Am I…too much?” He asks, his words quiet. He doesn’t want to sound too needy but he is. But there’s no hiding that right now.

You then shake your head and gives him a small smile. “No… I mean.. I get it you know… your job is difficult and you need to be at your best at every moment… But even then, you are just the right amount.”

He blushes a deep red and tries to maintain an eye contact with you but can’t help but shy away. Can’t help but a surge of emotions flowing through his so called cold heart. Finding himself looking at your lush lips- and he struggles to say anything at the moment.

“Just the right amount? Not too much… not too little?” Leon asks cautiously still finding your words hard to believe. Some one who didn't find him too much. It had to a be a dream.

Is this real? Can this be real?

“Yeah you are…” You answer him honestly. And cup the side of his face and caress his jaw gently, softly whispered. “You are perfect to me.”

My heart…

“Can… can I kiss you?” He whispers to you.

“Yes…” You whispered back.

He doesn’t hesitates as soon as you say yes, He leans in and kisses you. Pressing his lips gently against yours. He’s so close you can feel the heat from his body as you kiss. It wasn’t like you never kissed each other… But this one gave you both intense butterflies and made your heart pound like crazy in your chest.

My god…

He pulls away after a moment, his lips soft. He looks back at you, your eyes meet his and tries to speak something but can’t find anything to say. Opening his mouth trying to form words after he kissed the love of his life but words just got stuck in his throat.

You smiled and cupped his face and kisses him on the forehead and softly whisper. “It’s okay… I know… Just relax with me for a moment…”

Wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tightly and he does the same. Hugging you back just as tightly and resting his forehead against yours. Kissing you softly on the forehead before softly whispering.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

PHEW. God I am nervous about this one... Wish you guys a very happy new year and enjoy the holidays. And I really hope this fanfic made your day! 🥰🥰🥰

Until next time❤

-Bella

[wave2tyun]

policy of truth and lies | ☆

pairing: huening kai x reader

genre: highschool!au (kinda), band!txt, brother's best friend!kai, fluff, a bit suggestive

summary: a little white lie never hurts sometimes. to what lengths are you willing to go to protect it?

warnings: mentions of throwing up

word count: 3.3k

a/n: this all started just from my silly little desire to write a fic with the brother's best friend trope absdjhabj but honestly, this is one of the fics that i am most proud of, it has a special place in my heart :(<3 shout out to all my dear ningdungies!!!!😼😼💞 i love you all a lot!!!!<33 (and i hope you manage to survive this!!!)

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

“carefully planned-out coincidences” - that’s what your encounters with kai were; something that would appear unsuspicious to the naked eye, yet so obvious to a love connoisseur.

a fixed set of rules had been established in order for such meetings to be successfully completed, and continued.

1. no texting each other when you’re next to others. people love to snoop and steal a glance at your phone screen, getting you easily busted.

2. no form of physical touch is allowed on school grounds, unless you’re well-hidden. you never know what pair of eyes could be lurking around.

and, the most important one of them all: 3. do not, under no circumstances, get caught by soobin.

your brother tended to be more of a quieter person with an almost inhumane kind of calmness in him. that, however, did not apply when it came to unveiling lies. had he found out you had been kissing his best friend behind his back, it would have certainly not turned pretty. you knew that the longer you kept it away from him, the harder it would be to reveal the truth. even so, you kept postponing it, as you couldn’t figure out the right way to do it. you couldn’t just randomly go up to him and say: “remember that halloween party we held last year? yeah, me and kai kissed while you were in pain, next to the toilet bowl, releasing the obscene amount of sweets you had eaten that night”.

it was not the most romantic scenario, obviously, but it was one of the very few moments when soobin and kai weren’t glued at the hip, and neither of you could take the tension anymore. taking your brother’s pitiful cries out of the image, the kiss was actually quite sweet. and no, it wasn’t because of the jelly beans kai had eaten prior to that- maybe only party. the actual reason was kai’s hand on your waist, accompanied by the breathy “can i…?” that he whispered against your cheek.

as cheesy as it may sound, it’s a night that you will never forget.

-for various reasons.

one of them being the fact that it was pretty much the the starting point of a certain “shift” in your relationship with kai. from that day onward, it seemed like both of you tried to find as many opportunities as possible to be in each other’s presence. oh- kai came over and wanted a glass of water from downstairs? whew- well, you were thirsty too, looks like you had to go to the kitchen with him. kai was left on dish-washing duty after parties? you could spare a few minutes to help him out. movie night with the boys? the only free spot was so conveniently the one next to kai.

it was thrilling, adrenaline-inducing. you could never be too sure whether you were subtle enough, or completely alone, so you had to walk on eggshells every single time, no matter what. it got exhausting though, and you wished that, at least for once, kai could come over to your house to see you, not soobin.

kai, on the other hand, was definitely more of a risk taker than you, one that saw no harm in breaking some of the rules every once in a while.

and there are no risks, without possible consequences.

it was something that kai had learned…the hard way…on the lovely day of february 14th.

soobin had invited kai to spend the day together, playing games and trying out all the mystery flavors of a heart-shaped chocolate box. initially, they weren’t supposed to be the ones indulging in the sweet treat, but soobin had chickened out before giving it to his crush at school that day. sulking uncontrollably, he called his best friend so that they could console themselves from the soul-crushing fact that they were both (to soobin’s knowledge) “single”.

while he felt bad for his downcast pal, kai also couldn’t take his mind off you. love was in the air, after all: the rom-com that played on his tv as he was getting ready to come to your house, the lovey-dovey songs playing on the radio, the couples getting affectionate on the streets- they only added further to the burning desire that he felt today, more than ever, to see you. and perhaps…not only see you.

depending on the situation, those coincidences would often consist of: hand-holding underneath blankets or tables, winks sent to redden the other one’s cheeks and, if you were lucky, an exchange of swift, tiny pecks.

none of the outcomes above satisfied him though. the more he thought about crossing paths with you, the more he wished to caress your face, to hold you in his arms- to have an intimate moment with you that involved something more than a “kiss and run” type of situation.

“hey- the race started, why are you not moving?” soobin exclaimed, his mario kart character moving way farther than kai’s across the screen.

snapping out of it, kai shook his head, placing the controller down onto the coffee table before excusing himself “i have to go to the bathroom-” he said as he placed one hand on his stomach, mustering up all his theatre acting skills to put on a pained expression on his face “i think those sweets aren’t sitting right with me”

as soon as he finished that statement, kai basically flew up the stairs, skipping 2-3 steps at once. he made sure to flip the light switch to the bathroom before striding towards your room, to make it seem like he was there.

kai made his entrance with a finger over his lips and a catlike smile.

“what are you doing? you can’t be in here-” you whisper-shouted. kai had never- ever been in your room up until that point. it was too dangerous.

however, you still gave in, not pushing him back through the door he came in from.

he walked closer, coming to cup your face in his hands “i wanted to see you”

“is that so?” you asked coyly.

kai smiled more, sensing the bit of happiness sneaking into your voice beside your attempts to appear mad at him.

“it is so” he answered, waver in his voice from excitement.

“if you don’t believe me, then i guess i could go back to soob-”

“no-” you tugged kai’s arm, laughing “stay, i was kidding”

kai turned on his heel, lips falling into place perfectly on top of yours, transferring his smile to you in an instant “you know i didn’t intend on actually doing it” he whispered, caressing your cheek.

“i know” you chuckled “but you have to make it up to me for the teasing”

you pulled at the collar of kai’s shirt, waiting for him with closed eyes to initiate another kiss. kai chuckled before connecting your lips back together, starting off with agonizingly quick pecks, then attempting to initiate something more through longer, fervent kisses that trailed down to your neck, all while he slowly made you walk backwards to your bed. it wasn’t long before you hit the mattress and the two of you ended up tangled in your sheets, with one hand tugging at kai’s hair and the other one at his shirt as he hovered over you. soft gasps escaped through your mouth- the only acceptable way to lightly catch your breath, as it didn’t involve letting go of each other.

a knock on the door, however, sent kai flying through the air.

“y/n? can i come in?” soobin asked, completely oblivious to the events happening on the other side of the piece of wood that his knuckles had grazed a second ago.

the strong fear that he’d come barging in before you answered, turned you to push the poor lover boy away earlier, catapulting him onto the floor, the fluffy rug hardly alleviating his pain.

“what was that sound- are you hurt?” you heard a worried shout. it was a clear sign that you had no more than five seconds to prepare for disaster.

“i’m coming in, okay?”

seeing the doorknob twist, kai had no time to process his anguish. he wriggled his way underneath your bed, pulling down the blanket to hide his body.

“everything alright…?” soobin took two steps into your room then froze. the sight of your disheveled bed as well as your poor, motionless figure, scrambled up his feelings of concern with confusion.

“yeah- never been better” you replied, brushing out any folds on your clothes with your hand.

soobin’s eyebrow raised in suspicion; it was hard to make your breathing seem normal when your lungs burned like an athlete who had ran a marathon.

“i swear i heard a loud noise coming from your room-”

“nope, uh- nothing here. i was sleeping before you came in” you yawned, stretching your arms up in the air to reinforce your previous statement.

kai placed a hand over his mouth, careful so as not to move the blanket or make any sounds- why did you have to say something that would direct soobin’s attention right in his direction? your brother sneaked another glance at your bed, judging its unusually messy state.

“are you building a bird nest or something?” he huffed, placing his hand on the doorknob, about to leave “don’t answer that actually- i don’t want to know. i just wanted to tell you that the pizza is gonna arrive in about thirty minutes. if you don’t come down on time, i can’t promise that there’ll be any left for you”

with that, the door was shut, allowing your body to slide down to the floor in relief- and the breath trapped in kai’s lungs to be released.

it was only after this incident that kai’s venturesome nature seemed to be slightly tamed. not once did he try to sneak into your room again, nor did he dare to bring up the matter. the one and only thing that he could do, was to look up at you with troubled, wary eyes as he pecked your lips, knowing that it didn’t stand in his power to do more.

nevertheless, it wasn’t long before he proceeded to go back to his usual antics, the feeling inside his heart all too unbearable.

after all, not everyone can resist temptation, can they?

people knew that it wasn’t an unusual occurrence for you to be spotted in and outside the school with the most in demand band of the city, txt- your school’s pride and joy, which both your brother and his best friend were part of. so, whenever you tagged along with them, say it were to a local show, backstage, or during rehearsals, no one questioned a thing.

what was uncommon though, was you receiving private messages from the band’s notably fine pianist, kai, and giggling while responding to him, on top of it all.

this scene was witnessed by a certain someone who you thought had fallen fast asleep in the middle of class. little did you know how effective the bell ringing was to wake him up and how he had the most perfect view to the conversation taking place on your phone screen.

kai

[9:17 am] can you stay after the rehearsal today?^3^

[9:18 am] i miss you…

the witness slowly placed their head back on their desk, choosing to stay silent. this kind of matter required evidence, direct confirmation, and therefore they chose to follow you around for the rest of the day, like a shadow, thoroughly analyzing your words and actions; the texts were your first strike of the day, could there have been anything else you were keeping in the dark? the answer is yes, and you can take that literally- it turns out that the lonely, far corner of the school library makes a good spot for “discreet” pda.

you and kai were tucked away in that poorly lit spot, hugging, laughing- blissfully unaware of the third pair of eyes there with you, glossed with anger and action-driven by betrayal.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

“and that’s a wrap- good job guys” yeonjun clapped his hands, turning from the microphone stand to face the group with a smile.

“kai, cleaning duty is on you today. make sure you don’t forget to lock up the doors before you leave” yeonjun threw the keys in kai’s direction, which he caught effortlessly.

“what? you always ditch on me when we get paired up together- what could have possibly gotten in the way this time?” kai’s brows furrowed in annoyance. he wasn’t one to enjoy picking a fight, but yeonjun was taking too much advantage of his compassionate nature. he had enough of all the chores landing on him every week, without fail.

“scored a date with that girl from the mall” yeonjun winked “which, by the way- starts in less than half an hour. so, i gotta go, sorry buddy. maybe you can get somebody else to help you”

everybody else’s eyes turned to the floor after yeonjun parted ways with them, blurting out random reasons to be excused: “i have a project to finish” “i did it last time” “i just don’t want to do it” ; nobody was enthusiastic about staying at school overtime.

nobody, except for you. you were about to say an excuse of your own when the realisation hit you: you and kai? alone? with none of the boys around? it was a rare occurrence, one even rarer than the blue moon. you couldn’t simply pass by it.

“i can help you”

soobin watched you from the corner of his eye, biting his tongue to prevent any words from slipping out. you had stayed behind to help the members out before, it would be weird if he only started commenting on the matter when it was kai you were going to stay with.

“we’ll leave you to it then” beomgyu swung his arms around soobin’s and taehyun’s shoulders, leading them towards the door before you could change your mind.

“yeonjun always does this” kai huffed, picking up the acoustic guitar from the floor “i love him but- for once, i wish he’d keep his word- or at least not cancel on me last minute” the more his spoke, the more reckless his movements became.

“careful with that- no matter how cheerful beomgyu might be most of the time, i don’t think he’d be too happy to see his guitar destroyed by you”

“sorry” he said bashfully, resting his body against the wall with a sigh “i guess i’m just fed up with everything”

as you placed a hand over kai’s cheek, his eyelids fluttered shut, comfort already washing over him.

“would a kiss make you feel better…?”

kai nodded eagerly “i might need more than just one kiss though” he whispered, bringing his hand to the back of your neck to pull you back closer.

his kisses were playful at first, with smiles and chuckles interrupting every once in a while. then, when he switched positions, bringing you to be the one trapped against the wall, he began alternating between pecking your lips and lightly biting them, chaste touches soon turning into something more…heated. hands brushing over each other’s bodies in a frenzy, swollen red lips caught in an endless, desperate chase, like you had never had a taste of something sweeter.

what had gotten into you both? doing something this risky in such an “honourable” place. it was the lousy heap of all your lies and yet the most enthralling point of them all.

too bad that adrenaline rushes don’t last forever though.

you felt kai’s heart thump against your chest as you cupped his jawline to bring him back for more, but your next kiss never came to fruition.

“am i interrupting something?” the person standing at the door’s threshold cleared their throat to grab your attention.

you felt your blood turn cold upon hearing the sound. having a hunch about the sight ready to greet you, you turned your head at an awfully slow pace.

“care to give me an explanation?” soobin stood with his arms crossed, the expression on his face indecipherable.

in a single day, all of the rules you swore you’d follow like a saint, for the sake of your relationship, had been broken.

kai was dismissed from the room by soobin without being given a chance to speak. it was your words he wanted to hear first and foremost, it was you who left him the most perplexed ever since he took a furtive look at your phone screen this morning, or since he saw what you were up to in the library.

you were silent, rubbing your hands with your head hanging low. lies can’t last forever, you knew that, but you wished the right to make that dreadful reveal was in your hands to hold.

your brother cleared his throat, awkwardly shifting his position in the plastic chair he sat down on. when he abandoned the boys earlier because he “forgot something” in the practice room, he didn’t have a concrete plan in mind.

“how long?”

“what?” you murmured.

soobin repeated himself “for how long has this been going on? this…thing between you and kai?”

your throat went dry- your first instinct was to spit out another lie. upon better thought though, you realised it was have been ridiculous to even try and deny anything, given the fact that you were caught mid-act. the only actual option left for you was the raw, honest truth:

“…a year” you said reluctantly. soobin only nodded his head.

the silence soon felt direful, and neither of you could tolerate it. soobin turned his head up to look into your eyes, he got the answers he was looking for, now it was his turn to be sincere with you.

“y/n, i’m not the one who chooses who you’re gonna love- and as much as it bothers me that, out of all the people, it’s my best friend who you fell for- i can’t tell you to stop seeing kai”

his words turned your mind in even more of jumble than before. that was it? no screaming? no need to pull out the classic “but i love him“? it was a rare occurrence for the two of you to settle things so easily, it felt like you were suddenly picked up and placed in an alternate universe.

“so, what i’m getting is…you’re approving of our relationship?” you asked, feeling the need to have a definite confirmation of his feelings; none of the scenarios you had imagined before where you revealed your relationship matched the result of this one.

soobin hummed “as long as you don’t hoard him on the weekends- he might be your boyfriend now, but he was my friend first. i’ll have him on saturdays and you can have him on sundays, deal?”

you smiled, shaking his stretched out hand “deal”

“shouldn’t kai have a say in this too though?”

“something tells me he’s already agreed to it” soobin laughed, pointing at a “totally-not-eavesdropping-kai”, the half-open door revealing his pink cheeks along with both of his thumbs up.

taglist: @huekalover3000

[biancadoes]

The “beefing” theory is actually getting insanely ridiculous. I fear it is fueling the fire for hate towards N and L.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I think it’s wrong to insinuate they have issues when they have both very clearly stated they are best friends no matter what. Just because he didn’t like her post doesn’t say anything about their relationship. The beef narrative is actually pissing me off because it spreads more and more, but is probably the most unfounded theory. While none of us can say for certainty what is going on, everyone needs to understand what L and N showed us on the WT was real. If you ship them then you have to believe that.

Let’s not forget that L clarified the cake picture within 15 minutes of people speculating it was shade towards N. If he wanted to be shady, he would’ve let people speculate, but that’s not who he is when it comes to N. That was him at her house a week ago. There is no beef and I would say right now from what we’ve seen there never was. If they had a disagreement - as all people in any type of relationship do - then it’s done because their relationship means too much to them.

We know they’ve been around each other since at least August (if not earlier), so whatever “beef” they may have had is not there anymore. They’re both professionals. N talking about how much fun it has been playing a happily married couple shows there are no issues between her and L.

With all that being said, thank you for being a safe space where it seems that narrative is not what you believe. It is frustrating seeing so much negativity when we know so little about the situation. Their public social media accounts show us maybe 1% of their lives. We see what they want us to see. I appreciate your positivity.

I am curious on what you think about the “beef” theory/truthers.

I agree with you, anon. The beefing theory is also pissing me off.

It almost feels like people want the conflict to be there between them to prove there are feelings still there and that's because we can't physically see it. These are also people who heavily lean on IG likes as confirmation for the status of a relationship. They also possibly follow the tarot readers which I have my own thoughts and opinions about.

But beefing...where's the beef?

So they're beefing but she's happy to be back filming with him. They're beefing but they're both deleting comments from people shit talking each other on their platforms. They're beefing but he was definitely at her house watching her get ready for the Glamour event. She's wearing those rings that have been repeatedly linked to season 3 and by extension Luke but they're beefing...

I'm happy to offer up a space for this kind of discussion that doesn't follow the typical narrative we're seeing others commenting on. It's nice to see other people noticing the same things our ship captains are throwing down.

Bottom line, leave the beef between the buns and not in between Nicola and Luke.

If you think they're that childish to flaunt their 20 somethings around to make each other mad, and that thought makes you happy because it confirms they have feelings for each other...I'm sure there are other blogs out there more fitting for these ideas.

[asuyaka]

GUESS WHO'S CLASSES ARE FINALLY OVER GIRLIES💃💃

Damn, it's been a heck of a while since I last came back to this blog--

Anyways! I've been following the new JJK episodes(I am not fine and it's all Mahito's fault.), so to put a bandage on his gap in my chest, how about some reverse comfort shot for our boy Yuuji during the Shibuya arc? Heaven knows he's in need of it. The prompt would be that he's having the meltdown/panic attack after regaining control over his body after Sukuna raised hell on the city(along with all the memories that come with it) and his lover finds him crying on the ground and rushes to comfort him and ground him.

I just want my boy to get a hug goddamn it, Gege won't give him any breaks😭

- Sincerely, '🌈' Anon.

★ - 'm honestly haven't watched the new episode yet (prayin' s'the "I'm you." timeline !!) but, 100% agree! 'm boy needs a break !! (gege is cruel (；′⌒`) )

☆ - Itadori Yuuji x Reader!

♡ - 'm sososososo glad t'see you again 🌈 !! 've lowkey been burnin' out, but 'm glad you're here !! &lt;;33 （〃｀ 3′〃）| listenin' to... Skyfall

Good God— you don't know how you're alive right now.

The stench of curses and blood permeated the air, dried blood from curse users and curses stuck your hair to your face; heavy breaths leaving your lips as you looked around for any familiar faces.

Shibuya is in shambles, nothing more and nothing less. Dead civilians and auxiliary managers litter the streets, and several cars and buildings are smashed and flipped on their sides.

"Fuck," you wheeze, holding onto the scar that stretches to two separate sides of your face.

Your ribs are most definitely bruised or broken— there's no doubt about it. Your ankle is a bit sprained and you can't hear anything from your left ear.

You're really looking for Yuuji, you're lovable, and sometimes (a lot of the time) oblivious boyfriend. It's a bit biased, you know. Though Yuuji is at the top of your priority list, you really just want to find anybody who came to Shibuya with Gojo.

An earth-shattering sound makes its way through your ear(s). You turn around sharply, staring in shock as a few inches away from your foot is completely gone.

There's a presence you've felt ever since you woke up and you more or less guessed it was Sukuna.

If you had moved one step ahead, you would've died by what you assumed was Sukuna's domain.

Sukuna.

Your eyes widen as they stare at the crater formed by the King of Curses' domain. There's no way people aren't dead.

Yuuji.

"Oh fuck, Yuuji?!" Your anxiety goes haywire as you force your body to move. Even though every bone in your body aches in pain, pushed to its limit and beyond during the plethora of curses you've fought, you move.

Your heartbeat accelerates as your breaths get shorter. As fast as you run around the perimeter of the crater, you still haven't found Yuuji. Yuuji and his boyish smile every time you get him a gift, Yuuji, and his airy laugh whenever he sees something that manages to get him just right.

Yuuji and, his adorable love for movies, Yuuji, and his bright demeanor, able to make almost anyone fall under his spell.

Yuuji, who you find scratching at the road with tears falling down his eyes, wailing about how he should be the one to die.

It's right then and there, that your heart breaks.

Forgetting about the pain in your body, you rush over to where Yuuji was a heavy exhale, tears brimming your eyes and throbbing pain coursing through your body.

He turns to look at you with eyes that don't look like your boy, that don't look like Yuuji. He looks as if he's seen a ghost —like he didn't expect someone he knew to still be alive.

"You're alive...?" His voice is hoarse like he's dehydrated. It's missing its usual animated tone, his normal light voice, and his smile — fuck his smile.

"Yuuji," You exhale. "Yuuji, you're alive, fuck— you're alive." You get closer, and your body finally collapses on you. You're able to feel the emotions you forced yourself to push down the minute you stepped into the veil encasing Shibuya.

The hurt when you saw people you hold near to your heart die in front of you, the pain every time you felt your bones cracking, or the feeling of your skin stretching to accommodate the wound that was bound to form a scar stretching across your face.

Yuuji backs away from you, his fingers leaving a bloody trail from where you found him scratching at the road. "No! Get away from me— I'll try and kill you too!"

He'll... try and kill you?

Yuuji hangs his head in his arms as he curls into himself, seemingly trying to make his body as small as normal. "I'm nothing but a murderer! No matter what I do— or what I try to do— I just," He interrupts himself with a hiccup, blood mixed with tears leaking from the bottom of his face.

"I can't help anybody! I killed innocent people, I shouldn't be allowed to live!"

Yuuji continues to cry, his bloody fingers gripping his now dirtied pink hair.

Gently, as to not make him pull away from you, your arms wrap around his body. He refuses, trashing in your hold as he begs for you to let go of him, to distance yourself from him in case Sukuna somehow manages to take control again.

"Yuuji." You say softly, letting your coarse arms run through his hair.

He doesn't respond. Though he isn't struggling to move, he still remains unresponsive. "Yuuji, you aren't a monster."

He shakes his head furiously. "I killed them with my own—"

"Sukuna killed them, not you." You mutter softly. Even though you don't know the whole story, you know Yuuji, your Yuuji, would never kill innocent people.

"Yuuji, you aren't a murderer. You aren't a murderer."

Yuuji sobs into your shoulder, his bloody fingers gripping tightly against your shirt. "I'm sorry— I'm sorry!"

You keep your voice soft, softly running through his hair and rubbing circles on his back as well. "It wasn't your fault, 's okay..."

You reassure him, keep telling him that he wasn't a murderer, that he wouldn't kill innocent people on purpose, and little by little you think he's believing you.

"We, we have to go find everyone else," Yuuji says. His voice is drier if that's possible and his eyes feel so sunken, they don't feel like Yuuji. You don't hold that against him, he just went through a traumatic experience and obviously he isn't going to be the same boy you're used to.

Your shoulder is wet, and Yuuji's blood is staining your back. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Yuuji nods. Though it doesn't feel all the way true, it doesn't feel fake either. You press a tiny peck on his cheek, showing him a smile to let him know that he isn't alone.

As long as you were there with him, he'll never be alone.

"Fushiguro is... is [Name] still alive?" Itadori asks, sitting across from Yuta, divided by their makeshift fireplace.

Fushiguro averts his eyes with a guilty look on his face as he shakes his head.

"Oh."

Itadori Yuuji is alone.

He's lost his best friend, Nobara, his mentor (practically his father), Nanamin, Todo lost his technique because of him, and now, he's lost the one person who he truly felt like he could fall back on.

The one person who saw him at his lowest, and somehow brought him back from that.

"Oh."

He's alone.

And he genuinely doesn't know how he can cope without the help of his lover, his [Name].

[celestialtarot11]

Messages from your pet/s 🐱🌜💖

Hi friends! A long time ago I said I would publish a PAC reading centered around messages from your pets 💗 here it is! Enjoy 🍵 feel free to like, comment and reblog! Pick a bouquet —>

Pile 1: The Magician • 4 of wands

Hi pile 1’s! Welcome to your pile 💗🍵 I feel your per first of all, loves hanging around you. They could actually be your soulmate manifested in a different being this lifetime 🤍 they are your other half essentially. Some of you may own black cats! I feel right away your pet has an auspicious message about a new event, person or celebration coming up for you. This could be something you actually wanted and it’s coming your way 🤗 so definitely enjoy that! That sounds wonderful and I feel your pet is actually guiding your manifestations in a way. They are a guardian, and they also protect you from energies that don’t serve your highest good in this lifetime. Their existence deflects negativity! I heard a long time ago if cats purr they are taking away pain or something 🤔 I have no idea how true this is, but comment below and let me know! Because I am seeing a cat rubbing against you and purring a lot to get rid of evil eye 🧿🪬 so your animals are very protective, even the ones that aren’t a cat 🤣 they do watch over you, and love to spend time with you 🙌 I think if there is someone you don’t like, they will know right away and give that person a full on stare, or not interact with them. Thats your sign your animal supports you 💅🏻 and also is saying that person is negative (I heard full of shit but I resorted to respectful tactics 🤣) wow so your pet is definitely not one to mess with! I hope you are all well pile 1’s! Thank you for coming by and I appreciate any support to this blog 🤍

Pile 2: Seven of wands • Ace of cups

Hi pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 🤗💘 excited to have you here! Lets see what messages your pet has for you. I see that they feel fulfilled, cared for and loved by you. They have a special spiritual bond with you, so maybe you see them in dreams, or they will have messages for you in your waking life when you spend time with them. Sometimes its almost like, “wait, why can I hear you talking? Im the human one” 🤣 now, unless you have schizophrenia, which please be careful and get that checked out! Your animal is trying to communicate with you via intuition, and loves to connect with you that way. You two share a special soul bond. A message they have is to persevere any issue you have right now, and they believe in you 🙌 they got your back, and they believe in your ability to move past an issue or situation! Or if times have been rough, they want to be there for you and spend time with you to make you feel better 🥹💘 honestly that is so sweet. But they definitely want to see you smile again. Im drawn to notice how the ace of cups in this deck has a bouquet too 🤣 just like our piles themes. So get some flowers if you’re not allergic. Put them in your space! Or garden, if it’s not winter in your hemisphere. Caring for plants is important now. Or being in nature will lift your energy 💘🤗 thank you pile 2’s! I appreciate you coming by, please support this blog in any way you can 🍵🙌

Pile 3: The lovers • 5 of swords

Hi pile 3’s! 💘🍵🤍 Welcome, please enjoy this message brought to you by your loving pet. So far I see if they have passed away, or had an injury they remember you 🥹💘 they did not forget you at all. They are watching over you. And somehow I feel they left something for you behind, there’s almost an energetic baggage of love and abundance at your doorstep. In a good way, they left behind something beautiful you can transform in this lifetime. Whether they are alive or not, your pet has brought in a different energy into your life and you probably noticed the shift right away. This could be an emotional support animal! This pet brought love and care into your life, and they are thankful for your presence 🤗💘 they miss you always, even if they are around you now. Some of you may have had a parakeet, or a bigger bird. They want you to remember the good times and smile because you had them 🤍 so whether your pet is alive or not, they want you to enjoy your moments with them, and everyone. There’s such an unconditional loving energy here, its beautiful 🥹💗 they want you to be accepting, and less harsh on yourself is what I heard. You did all you could is also something I heard. I forgive you. There are some intense energies here, please take care pile 3’s ❤️‍🩹 I am wishing you the best and all the love and peace!

Paid Readings 🍵💘

Distance Energy Healing Services💌🧘‍♀️

[shakespearean-dream]

i would adore ur ted ideas he is so interesting 2 me!!!!!!

ask and you shall receive!!!!

ted. teddigan. theodoreigan my boy. i have so many mixed feelings about u💔

this drawing was a pain in the ASS to make for some reason?? my first go at him was way too close to canon for my liking so i threw myself out there n got to a place i liked thankfully, plus halfway through i forgot how to draw hands and almost cried (joking) cause i thought i had them down at this point!!!!— but trust me, even if you have 9 years of art experience (like me unfortunately. someone take me out i’ve had a good life) ur gonna forget the basics sometimes. warm yourself up and try again cause i did and i eventually remembered 😭😭😭

doing these character studies and drawings have seriously improved my way and process of drawing faces which is so nice 🥲 i think i just need to start looking at the bigger picture again so i don’t forget how to draw everything else. like hands. or full bodies. foreshadowing ;)

i wanted my ted to look just a wee bit unsettling because my general consensus of him is that he is totally fucked in the head, lmfao. born a nepotism baby who ended up scamming people more for fun than for actual cash, horribly sexist but dependent on women to validate him, paranoid as all get out, selfish and self centered as all get out, just his canon personality’s all in one and turned up a notch. 🥲

i don’t think he’s totally beyond redemption, especially because he’s been cooped up with ellen, who is a highly decorated in the engineering field black woman, benny who’s gay and gorr “FREEDOM FIGHTIN’ LIBERAL🇺🇸🦅🦅🔥🔥” ister for 109 years. in that time he’s definitely slipped up and they’ve definitely corrected him (along with nimdok too LOL). i think with some intensive therapy, a shower and a trip to the tolerance museum (south park reference) he’ll be a little better.

i’m a mild ted/AM shipper (as seen in the bottom right hand corner) but more in the “ooohehheh they’re flirting!!… oh no. oh this is not going to end well. this is definitely a toxic relationship” way and less the “awh cute maybe they can have mutual redemption arcs!!!” way because i love seeing gay men suffer romantically (don’t cancel me i am a bisexual man suffering romantically i swear😭)

i’m not too partial to any other ships honestly, ted/ellen makes me nauseous (just cause of the way ted talks about/treats her in the franchise, no hate to my tellen shippers i promise) and i can only see gorrister with his wife 🥲 with benny and nimdok i have no clue if either of them rlly have romantic interests but im not a fan of them with anybody so erm… i do love the whole groups found family vibes though :”””] they’re all cute together and the mutual suffering but all the while growth is comforting to me

i think that’s about all my thoughts!!! another thank you for the support on this blog recently i love yall sm. i’ll eventually post on my transformers blog but i am STILL SCARED because robots are hard to draw. stay tuned for it though. 💀

thank you for reading if you did!!! let me know which of the guys yall want me to do next; benny, AM and nimdok are left on the chopping block. ❤️

[kechiwrites]

Hello miss kechi may I request toxic but phenomenal dick game from baby daddy ghost 🤰🍆

i hope you literally meant baby daddy, because that’s what i wrote babe 😭 thank you so much for this request (i am SO sorry i made this angsty). i started writing and COULD NOT stop. also, LOVE the style of your blog. i’ll let y’all decide if this is still medic!reader...

toxic ex!ghost x reader

1/?

wc: 1.2k

cw: afab!reader but no gendered terms (i think), light spanking, taunting/teasing, riding, SMUT BABY, but also angst, toxic relationship, booty call culture, reader and ghost have a kid! ghost fucking SUCKS here, seriously he blows. no use of y/n, ever! mdni

“Come on then, you called me. Make the trip worth my while.” There’s an unusual amount of mirth in his tone, and you’d think with the way he’s staring at you that he was sitting on a golden throne encrusted with diamonds and not, y’know, laying on his back, in your bed, while you’re speared open on his erection. 

“Take the mask off you fucking dick, I’ve already seen that ugly mug of yours.” You bite, bristling at his attitude.

To his credit, Ghost doesn’t rise to your bait, opting instead to brush the blunt tips of his fingers against your clit, shifting his hips to fuck the last few inches of his dick inside you. The stretch is just a little too good, and of course it was, because God was cruel and unfair and Ghost was unfortunately the best fuck you’d ever had. Which is definitely why it’d been three months since you last fucked anything besides your hand, and your ex was only too happy to provide when you called him for a “we’re not getting back together, I just know you’re off base tonight” booty call.

As always, Ghost underneath you is a feast for the eyes, even with the mask on. He lies supine, both arms behind his head while he lazily raises his hips in an effort to egg you on. You roll your eyes at his nonchalance, crouching with your legs bent so you have better range of motion. 

The noise of your cunt welcoming him is embarrassingly audible and the upward thrust of his pelvis into yours drives all the air from your lungs in one calculated move. You let your head hang low, because God forbid he see the dazed, pleasured expression you always get on your face when he bottoms out, you’d never live it down.

Keyed up and wanting, you lean forward, shivering when the slide of his cock inside you reverberates up your spine, lighting up synapses you really, really, wished would just fucking die already. 

They don’t of course. Fucking your ex still feels like hooking yourself up to a car battery; so slowly, glacially, you raises your hips incrementally, before sliding back down, letting the very last inch of the man’s dick leave and enter you repeatedly. Ghost groans below you, murmuring platitudes and compliments while he watches you take yourself apart on his cock, piece by trembling piece.

His hands move to your hips to guide you up and down his length, and his palms are heavy and warm, firm and unabating on your skin. The surety of his grip on you makes you forget why fucking him is such a rare occurrence nowadays, why your breakup was so messy and loud and lonely. 

The insane fullness of Ghost pulling you down onto his dick again and again, fucking you like a toy, ellicits short-breathed pleas for more. You stomp your pride to death when he thumbs at your clit, sitting untouched, minding its business, at the top of your spread open pussy.  It’s almost enough to make you forget the way your thighs are burning.

Almost.

“Okay, okay fuck, no more. Let’s do something else.” You huff, crumbling forward onto his chest, your forehead pressed against his collarbone. “Please.” you add for good measure.

You rise and fall on his chest when he scoffs, flipping the two of you easily. “You used to last a lot longer on top. Having a baby wear you out?” 

Anger flares hot and fast in your chest and you nearly shove him off you. Nevermind it was his fucking kid he was taunting you with. 

“I should’ve called Soap.” 

“He wouldn’t know what to do with you.” He hammers a hard slap against your thigh before he manoeuvres you into a more comfortable position, your legs spread wide, framing either side of his midsection. There’s barely any hang time between the shift in placement and your ex plunging into you in earnest, and for that you’re thankful. Any time with the two of you that isn’t filled with barbs or fucking quickly devolves into regret and bitterness that lingers at the back of your throat like the stench of burning plastic.

Your thighs are soaked in sweat and slick at this point, amplifying the echoing clap of Ghost’s hips repeatedly, brutally meeting yours. He bends down to slot his lips over yours, sliding his tongue into your mouth, coaxing participation out of you until you're giving as good as you get. Ghost is nothing if not consistent, ebbing where you flow until he’s completely blanketed you, just like he used to, pressing so close that there’s no space left between your chests. The way he grinds down into your cunt forces your clit to rub against his pelvis, producing a mind numbing buzz in your abdomen that continues to build as the head of his cock gets reintroduced to your g-spot. Ghost is blissfully quiet when he fucks you this close. Instead of talking down to you, he sinks his teeth into your shoulder, trying his level best to mark you the only way he knows how; with stinging pain and suffocating possession. He wants to keep you, to lock you and his son up where no one can get you, where no one can see you, where he can keep you safe. 

But you aren’t together and he can’t keep you. 

So he settles for this.

Settles for pushing his cock deeper and deeper into you, until you cream sweet and pretty all over his thighs. Settles for wrenching your ridiculous need for control out of your shaking hands. Settles for fucking you like you still call him ‘Simon’. Ghost settles for being the man who you curse at during the day and come for during the night. 

And you do come for him, quick and dirty but oh so satisfying, when he tosses your leg over his shoulder. You gasp and writhe underneath his hands, clenching your teeth and holding your breath while you ride out the sensation. It’s the mask, you think. Even after the last few years it still does something for you. It also helps make it feel…less personal. Like you’re back to being two people who fuck when it’s convenient, and not two people with baggage and memories and a whole ass human being between you.

He finishes not long after, rocking against you until he can’t stop the way the soles of his feet tingle and his hips stutter. 

Then, it’s just the sound of your jagged inhales and exhales filling the space between you. He’s still so close, eyes shuttered closed while he throbs inside you, his shoulders rising and falling with each laboured breath. You hook your fingers under the hem of his mask and he moves fast, clamping down on your wrist and squeezing until you let go. 

‘That answers that.’ You think, and you laugh without humour. You can’t help but want to cover your face, cover your nakedness, now that the deed is done, and as if he senses the shift in you, Ghost stands, barely taking the time to clean himself up before he gets dressed. 

By the time you move your arm from over your eyes, he’s at your bedroom door. 

Hand on doorknob. 

Ready to run. 

You sit up and stare at him, reclined on your forearms. You give your assent with a jerky, unstable nod, and just like that, he’s gone.

The nickname is pretty fucking apt.

part 2

series masterlist here

i hope this wan’t too sad for what you had in mind! (if it was please feel free to request again). requests are open, support content creators and city girls, reblog!

[sharp-rosee]

Hey funny story: I haven't been around Tumblr at all for months, but today someone told me menalez had deactivated or something so I came on here and looked it up. First result was a post by you, i checked out your blog and wouldn't you know it your most recent post had you defending me post mortem lmfao. I sent an anon to the other woman too but it seems she won't post it so to clarify to you: when I supposedly said "studies showing violence suffered by bisexuals are cringe and useless" what I remember thinking about that is that those studies that I've seen are never used to try to understand why bisexuals suffer such insane rates of violence (more than homosexuals) and trying to stop it. I've only seen them be used as battering rams in discourse when homosexuals criticize bisexuals. Which is crazy for such a serious issue and totally trivializes it lol. Also that my explanation for it was that such studies show that many abused people incorrectly id as bi for a time. You can disagree or wtv just those were my points, she made it sound like I'm cheering on women beating if they're bi or something. Also your defense of me (thanks queen lol) is accurate if you were wondering. I used to be sorta pro strict separatism but I outgrew the anger/ denial phase of "most women will partner with men" and reached acceptance. Most people are built for romantic partnership, that's just human nature, I can't be hating het women just because their lot in life in that means they're more likely to be abused. Just because I'm not drawn to men, or even much to romance, doesn't mean I should act like that's everyone else too and judge them on that standard, I accept reality and want women to be safe within that rather than pointlessly hate on them and get all worked up because some women have boyfriends..

Well I'm also a mean asshole, I'm sure you noticed, and I definitely would give the bi girlies on radblr a hard time here at the time lol. I don't have the "one side" sort of takes on this divide on radblr. It was funny but I can't feel the energy to that anymore since leaving tumblr, way too few bis or gays irl to care about that stuff. But at the end of the day these are my actual takes on all that disk horse. Funny to see it immediately on such a causal stroll around here lol

-sleep3r4gent

QUEEN I used to follow you ♡ at least when I was crypto a few years back I did.

Also, I'm glad you clarified because the way some women on here seem to hallucinate things they read almost makes me feel insane as well. Like you sending an ask saying you never thought of a certain perspective is not indicative of you agreeing and obviously one can change their opinions over time.

I really have no opinion either way tbh, I myself am straight and in a relationship, and have had others on my last blog send some anons calling me a "dick worshipper" and other misogynistic BS, but they stopped once I didn't let it bother me much. It's so obviously a group of trolls that it's embarrassing that they still believe it enough to keep bringing back the same users, some like you who aren't even misogynistic, to further their persecution complex.

It even is more annoying because these are the women who made Mena/Moideater leave, the above drama is a big reason why. The way radblr will still reblog posts from very racist blogs and not bat an eye but then freak out over a clique of women who aren't even radfems really does show what demographic makes up this site.

I know it gets exhausting to be involved in arguments, but it's nice to know you're still somewhat around. I hope you, Mena and Moid come back someday. If not I understand. But I'll never forget any of them and I haven't forgotten you 😭😭😭

[cutecatlov3r]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨?

various x reader ! [gojo, megumi, itadori, yuta, inumaki, and nanami]

synopsis: my head cannons and my opinion on which song they'd fuck you to .

warnings/tw: all characters are 21+, praise, degradation, and my personal head cannons on what they are like during sex .

a/n: don't copy my work ! like, re-blog, and comment ily ! not proofread .

aot ver. hq ver. ft ver. bllk ver. bnha ver.

Satoru Gojo

Reminder [The Weekend]

✰ Let's be for real, the only reason he fucked you to this song is because he wants you to forever be reminded of this moment.

✰ His cocky personality makes sure to fuck you nice and good so you don't ever forget him.

✰ "Think about me and only me... Now, let me hear your moans,"

✰ Gojo Satoru does not do relationships yet here you are, his favorite person to hook up with.

✰ Although you two aren't together, he is very possessive over you, wanting you to only fuck him and no one else.

✰ You listen to him, not fucking anyone else but him. You can't ever pass up Gojo, he is amazing and too good in bed.

✰ He knows how to please you, whether it's his tongue, fingers, or cock.

✰ You both have something special, never wanting to let go of what you have.

✰ His blue eyes keep you hypnotized, you can't help but wish for something more from him. You can't help but fall in love with him .

"Every time you try to forget who I am, I'll be right there to remind you again"

-

Megumi Fushiguro

Good For You [Selena Gomez]

✰ This song makes Megumi show out his degrading parts. "You're a whore, hm?"

✰ The way your body moves so sensual to this song makes him go crazy.

✰ He goes deep and fast pace during this song, showing you how proud he is that you're his and only his.

✰ He will leave hickeys all over your boobs and thighs.

✰ "You're mine, Y/n. Got that?"

✰ He doesn't mind eating you out to this song, he likes watching you reach your climax, especially when this song is playing.

✰ It's as if you're dedicating this song to him, loving every second.

✰ You're the only person who can make him feel this way, wanting to fuck you senselessly every time he gets.

✰ And let's just say the quiet boys definitely aren't quiet in bed. And Megumi proves that they aren't.

"Let me show you how proud I am to be yours"

-

Yuji Itadori

Passionfruit [Drake]

✰ OUR PUSSY EATING KING !!!

✰ He loves you, during this song he will eat you out until you're crying and shaking.

✰ He doesn't even care about his pleasure, he needs only you to be satisfied.

✰ He will finger you and slurp up all of your juices, just pining to taste you.

✰ This song is about being passionate, which is literally all Itadori is to you.

✰ His true passion is being there for you in any way possible.

✰ "I love you so much! Sit on my face now please baby,"

✰ He will reward you and punish you by suggesting for you to take a seat on his face.

✰ But if he were to fuck you to this song he would most likely be doing it slow and deep, wanting to hear your moans.

✰ He lives for praise.

✰ After ruining you he will help you take a shower, get you something to eat, and cuddle you, whispering how much he loves you.

"Passionate from miles away. Passive with the things you say"

-

Yuta Okkotsu

Crush {Cigarettes After Sex]

✰ I feel like he'd be nice and slow, scared to hurt you.

✰ Gaining more confidence, he will be fast and hard.

✰ He loves this song, it reminds him of when you two first met, starting off as friends and slowly falling for each other.

✰ Yuta makes sure to tell you how much he loves you, he would never want you to overthink anything.

✰ "You're my everything,"

✰ He gets flustered easily but tries his best to be more confident.

✰ He wishes to be more dominant but it's hard to snap out of being so shy.

✰ When fucking you to this song he almost wants to cry because of how much he loves you and how happy he is in those moments between you too.

✰ After the two of you are done he will cuddle you, placing your head near his chest, holding you close, never wanting to let you go.

"Feel your lips crush, Hold you here my loveliest friend"

-

Toge Inumaki

LIGHT SHOWER [Melanie Martinez]

✰ Quiet during sex, grunting and slight whimpering.

✰ During this song, he likes receiving head from you.

✰ I feel like he cares about making himself cum first and then focusing on you afterwards.

✰ But if he were to fuck you during this song, he'd make you ride him and do all the work. His hands will be propped on your waist to guide you.

✰ I live for slightly mean Inumaki. So I can see him whispering in your ear to degrade you.

✰ "Stupid girl,"

✰ He for sure pulls your hair and chokes your throat. You let him, crumbling in his hands.

✰ Afterwards he will be sweet to you, kissing you softly. You know he loves you, lust and love are two separate things so you don't care if he's slightly mean during sex.

"You're a shower of light I'd devour any day of the week. Baby, cleanse me"

-

Kento Nanami

Earned It [The Weekend]

✰ Dom with a daddy kink . IDC .

✰ He makes you refer to him as 'sir' or 'daddy' (Healing my daddy issues)

✰ He treats you with respect, praising you whenever you do something good but degrading you when you act like a brat.

✰ "Stop being such a brat before I spank you, tsk,"

✰ This song instantly gets him in the mood to fuck you, hard, deep, and fast.

✰ This song reminds him about how perfect you are so he plays it because you earned it.

✰ He loves seeing his cum drip out of your hole after he's done, the way you whimper as his hot seed drips between your thighs makes Nanami want to fuck you again.

✰ I can see him lasting 3-4 rounds.

✰ He will help you, his baby girl, get comfortable after the sweaty sex by taking you a bath and cuddling you afterwards.

"'Cause girl you're perfect. You're always worth it, And you deserve it"

-

[banjopolishh]

AHHH I just found your blog and oml I'm blessed- your writing's incredible!! 😭💕💕💕

If you're still taking Fiddauthor rq's, I'm thinking of like..ANYTHING involving those two getting high (Fidd 100% got high in college and I don't see enough fics about it!!)

Maybe both of them 🍃 and yknow how sometimes you zone out and just do a repetitive movement? (For example I run my fingers along my arm just for the sensation, and I forget I do it half the time, it's just subconscious)

So imagine Ford just like...dry humping Fidds like that- He's rambling on about whatever, and just absentmindedly rubs himself against Fidds. I dunno, just a thought that came to mind 🤭

Anywayssss love your writing, thank you for feeding all of us ~☆

this won’t be written super put together .. it’ll be a tad messy since i myself am high!!! >0<

————-

“Hahahaha! Ohhhhh my god, Fidds. You’re crazy!” Stanford burst into laughter. His college roommate; and crush, Fiddleford, was hitting 3 joints at the same.

“MMMMM!!!” Fidds’ mouth was filled with smoke; he breathed it in quickly and blew it back out. A huge mushroom cloud hit Ford’s face.

“WOW! Fiddleford, you’re so good at this! How’d you take in so much?” Stanford was impressed by Fiddleford’s ability to intake so much weed, his eyes were incredibly red afterwords.

“I just..do it! It’s taken some practice, but yer gonna be a natural if ya stay with me!” Fidds laughed; passing one of the joints to the handsome brunette across from him.

“God.. you’re going to kill me, Fidds” Ford took the joint from the man he so desired. He took a big hit - sort of trying to impress Fiddleford. The smoke he blew out was thick.

“Look at ya go, Stanford! You did amazin’..” Fidds’ was genuinely impressed , then, Ford started coughing hard.

“OHMYGOD. part of me thought i was going to die, is that normal?” Fiddleford laughed at Ford’s inquiry, he thought it was cute.

“Yes, yes! Very. You’ve got virgin lungs!!” Ford rolled his eyes and took another quick puff, making it a point to not cough this time.

“God.. im definitely.. starting to feel something.” Immediately Fidds knew Stanford was high; you could see it in his puffy red eyes! Could this man get any cuter?

Ford began inching closer to Fiddleford’s face, causing him to blush and look away.

“What’re you doin’, silly..” Fiddleford felt extremely vulnerable , he was high as a kite. Ford was on his way there as well.

“Did you know, I find you extremely attractive? I also find your wit to be very enticing. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend, Fidds.”Stanford kept inching closer to Fidds’ face, eyeing him down as if he were the last human on earth.

“What? Stanford…I don’t want a girlfriend. It’s just.. not my thing?” The young mechanic’s face was tomato red, and he was fidgeting with a button on his shirt.

“Then.. what is your thing?” Ford was intrigued, he wanted to know every single thing Fidds desired. Stanford wanted to be one of those things.

“You.” Is all Fidds could get out, his mouth moving faster than his mind. God, he felt crazy even admitting this to Ford. What if he got rejected, or worse?

All his worries melted away when Stanford grabbed his face, and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss; one filled with love and warmth. A genuine kiss.

“Mm..” Fiddleford kissed back, absorbing every bit of the man in front of him. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Suddenly, Ford pulled away for air.

“Do.. Do you want to be my boyfriend? I know that sounds childish, but I truly-“ Fidds pulled him back into the kiss, a nonverbal way of saying; “Of course, idiot.”

Their kiss became more passionate, Ford was going mad. He crawled onto Fiddleford and began slowly grinding on him. Rubbing their clothed dicks together.

“God.. I remember when I first saw you, you were crying.. ready to go home.” He began grinding harder - almost as if he didn’t realize.

“You’re so pretty, Fidds.. I knew when I saw you, you had to be mine. You’re just so smart.. you figured out the universe is a hologram? Come on, you’ve got such an amazing mind.” Fiddleford’s eyes fluttered - this felt so fucking good.. and the praising? He could cum right now.

“Ford..you’re so.. ah..so, so, sweet. Thank you for believin’ in me, I’ve always - fuck - felt so alone..” the friction in their pants was making them both so close.

“Ha.. Fiddleford, never, ever, let anyone treat you like you’re nothing. You’re everything, everything to me.” Ford thrusted harder, chasing his release.

“Fuck! Ford.. ford.. im- im going to.” Fiddleford felt himself release into his pants, the weed making it all the more easy to cum.

“Metoometoofuck.. Mmmm!” Cum began dripping down Ford’s legs, his shorts not holding much.

The two sighed, Ford wrapped Fidds up in a tight hug, both of their legs shaking in pleasure.

——-

i got so tired I couldn’t write a good ending .. so here’s that!! they definitely cuddled and ate snacks though! and yes they stay boyfriends hehehehwagahahah

YYSM FOR THE REQUEST

[gtgbabie0]

-Spencer Reid x reader

{Bored one night you and Spencer play a game of chess}

Just a little something! Hope you enjoy lovelies💕

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Spencer doesn’t know if he’s losing his mind or if you’ve been secretly hiding the fact you’re a chess prodigy for the entirety of your relationship, but he knows for a fact that there are pieces missing from the bored, which definitely shouldn’t be missing.

He starts to question whether he taught you some kind of amazing strategy that he doesn’t even know about. But there’s something about the way you hide your smile in the palm of your hand that tells him otherwise. “Where’d my knight go?” He presses, leaning forward with a frown as he studies your face.

“What do you mean ‘where’d my knight go?’ I took it from you a second ago” you tell him biting back the smirk that teeters on your lips.

It takes a lot of self-control to not burst into a fit of giggles when he shakes his head, the slight confusion that contorts his face is much funnier than it should be. Spencer runs his hand through his hair as he tilts his head to the side, looking to see if you’re hiding any pieces and surprisingly he doesn’t catch onto the small stash you have going on, wooden pieces digging into your thigh from where you've squashed them between your leg and the sofa.

“No you- you took a pawn that isn’t- I still had both my knights” he huffs more so talking to himself than to you. Spencer ponders for a moment, his chin resting against his palm as his tongue darts out to the corner of his mouth, still thinking.

“I went to the bathroom for no less than a minute, and you’ve stolen half the board” he says, his hand grasping your knee softly as pushes your leg to the side. “You think I wouldn’t notice?” He lets out a humorous chuckle as the wooden knights and a rook, along with a couple of pawns fall from their place mashed between your thigh and the couch.

“Did you forget? I have an eidetic memory angel” There’s an almost prideful expression that flashes through his sweet smile and you can’t help but giggle, a certain warmth blooming through your chest.

“Okay, but I had you for a second didn’t I?” You take his hand in your own, smoothing your thumb across his knuckles as he looks at you with those love-sick eyes of his.

You lean forward slightly trying to distract him as you take his queen, whispering a sly, 'I win' as you wiggle the wooden chess piece in front of his soft eyes, which soon changes when he rolls them with a huff.

Spencer takes the piece from your fingers, "You had me, but you're a terrible liar" he whispers, pressing a delicate kiss to your cheek.

"Hmm, am I a terrible lair or are you just a ridiculously good profiler?" you push the hair that frames his face, moving it from his eyes as you tuck it gently behind his ear.

He lets out an almost shaky sigh as you press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "Both, probably" he chuckles watching as you put the wooden pieces back in their rightful places, "But you really are a bad liar- you always bite the inside of your lip or you get this smile and-" you don't let him finish the sentence, covering his mouth with your hand with a quiet 'Yeah, yeah alright'

You both break out into giggles as he helps you with putting the chessboard back together, "I could teach you? and if you actually listen you might beat me" he says looking over at you, "One day."

You roll your eyes, "Okay, but first, do you want coffee?" you ask, standing from your place on the sofa as he looks up at you with an appreciative smile, he nods as you press a kiss to his forehead before walking off to the kitchen to make the pair of you some coffee. A slight feeling of determination builds up in your chest, determination to beat him in chess, one day.

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Tags- @violetrainbow412-blog

[littlesislovesyou]

Please do sit on my face and if I DIE I DIE lmaooo but I'll worship your pussy in every way while you ride my face and get my face or mask covered in your juices...and even more so when you cum all over me like a good fucking girl 💕

You seem to have a passion too... for reigniting the horny fucked up thoughts of Christmas past and tempting everyone to fuck your brains out. God if you begged me with tears in your eyes, needy and cute to stop hurting you or to stop raping you when I sneak into your room with my mask on I'd throb so much in your soaking wet pussy, fuckkk don't you dare you temptress~ You wouldn't dare... 😳

I'm bad and you're worse and we go extremely well together surprisingly enough...and I agree it is the most primal feeling ever I can't describe it in any other way.🤤

Mmm no I don't think I will. You can keep crying for me to stop though that's hot and it's making me harder for you...🤭🔪 And aww I guess I'll keep kissing and worshipping your pussy though if it falls in love I hope it's not alone. I dont wanna marry just your pussy after all. I'll already own it by that point~ Would love the person whose legs its in between though? 👀

I hope I do because half of me is being silly and making dumb jokes and the other half is depraved, disgusting and beyond saving... <3 knowing what to say is hard.

Only the prettiest collar for my pretty fuckdoll, the prettiest and most sexy~ 💓 And of course both our names are going on the collar. Maybe a phone number too call incase my fuckpet gets lost...might install a tracking chip too and go full stalker on your ass forevermore 🖤

And I'm not sure yet...so many choices indeed. Maybe we'll review the options on where in private one day hehe.

You'll always be my pretty little fuckdoll in my heart and I could never forget you sweet girl. 🫂

And I will then...I love being on your mind. Like you are in mine!

Ugh another thing I absolutely love is you can go to worshipping my body to just full on using me and degrading me💕💕💕🫣 ahhhh man 🥺 when you say it that way I just wanna be the best girl for you💕💕

I think that is my superpower at this point;’) 💕 but really I’ve only been using it on you lately<33

I apologize for being slow and not responding to everything 🥺💕 I’m definitely just exhausted, but I wanted to talk to you anyway, I am pretty much fighting it right now haha 💕

And yeah you’d be throbbing inside of me while I cry and beg you to stop? You’re so messed up for that~ my tears turning you on and just making you so hard, making you fuck me faster huh? Maybe you’d stark mocking me 🫣🫶 or just saying fucked up things into my ear like “oh come on sis it doesn’t hurt that bad, be a good little sister” ;’) 🖤🖤 I’m just as messed up because I know it just makes me wetter even if I’m sobbing and staring up at you all teary eyed<333

I’m glad I can make you hard;’) I almost feel bad for doing it to you when you’re out in public~ keyword almost though☺️💕 I am curious if you ever have cum to my blog before?🫶👀 or maybe just what started your obsession, I’m really just curious<3

Ahhh I don’t think my pussy will be alone in that fact honestly, are you kidding heh 🥺🖤

AHHHH don’t even joke about that right now<33333 you’d have my location at all times, you’d probably find yourself just absentmindedly watching my dot move around on the screen<3 always checking in on your fuck pet if you’re not with me 🥺💕

Ahh you’re gonna make me blush seriously! 💕🥺 it is killing me inside that I don’t have a clue who you are<3 I am curious to know if you’re a mutual or not 👀💕

[xiaoriae]

STONE COLD HEART.

— CONTENT ; alhaitham x gn!reader. modern au, bodyguard au and little angst. reader goes clubbing, alcohol consumption + slightly intoxicated reader, a suggestive comment from alhaitham (barely), profanities and pining. wc; 1.1k

— NOTES ; a repost from my old blog! p/s: please remind me to write this into a full fic later bcs i am definitely normal about bodyguard!alhaitham.

you didn't quite remember how you ended up being pulled away from the club.

in your hazy state, the only thing you remembered was how strict your father was, practically banning you to enjoy the night life for once, but all he said was no and then you sneaked out of your house, aimlessly walking around until you headed to the infamous club nearby.

all you wanted was freedom from this shitty political life you never ever wanted, but by gods, your father was so delusional of your own safety that he hired a bodyguard for you.

it took you a whole solid 45 minutes just to get pass through the security of the whole mansion, but how could you forget that your own personal bodyguard was so efficient in his work? you must have hit your head for thinking that you succeeded in escaping his watch before you arrived at the club and downing mutiple small shots by yourself.

at the end of the day, it was easy for him to track you down.

alhaitham could only gaze at you from the corner, his stare was nothing more than a blank one as he watched you shut off some mere strangers' pitiful attempts at hitting you and your lonely figure by the counter.

you were definitely drunk, he concluded.

the moment you got up to hit the dance floor, alhaitham followed you from behind. his dark outift made everyone almost cowered with fear as he straight walked up to you, who on the other end, didn't even notice the stares everyone was giving.

and here you thought you were smart enough to live by your own when you couldn't even manage to read the room.

he stopped in his track when you turned around, somehow overlooked his broad figure in front of you as you searched for anyone, literally anyone to join you for the dance because as you perceived, where was the fun in dancing alone when you could get a companion?

you were definitely not in your right mind when you pulled alhaitham, pulling super embarassing stunts and then you were out of your trance as you heard an eerily familiar voice coming from above your head.

"having fun yet? or am i tempting enough that you want me?"

you flinched when you noticed it was alhaitham all along, in all his glory when you saw how lifeless his eyes were, and then you glared at him before rudely telling him to fuck off, to be back at his home instead of stalking you like a freak.

"do you really have to go all the way to report me back at your own boss?" you jabbed a finger onto his chest before alhaitham gripped your wrist to stop you, not even seemed to be affected by all your rude commentaries at him.

you knew better than anyone not to make alhaitham angry—after all, he was your personal bodyguard for a reason—but it was infutiating at this point that he was stuck by your side almost everyday for the rest of your life.

he was certainly not a fun person to be with. his loyalty was second to none at your own father. maybe they had history of some sorts during his contract agreement with your father that made him did a really good job in protecting you, but it was a rumour you didn't really find interesting enough.

he was emotionless. never even gave you some slack, and you hated his heartless persona.

"you are lucky that i do not tell my boss yet," he countered.

"fuck you," you spitted, yanking your wrist away before leaving him alone.

the liquid courage definitely got you now, as alhaitham could only observe you from afar. it was his job after all.

you were uncomfortable. knowing his presence was lingering all this time made you felt insecure under his watchful eyes somewhere in the dim glow of the area.

you didn't know what really get into your mind but when you shoved down more of the bitter drink into your throat and shamelessly flirting with this super cute guy behind the bar, you knew your action was ticking him off.

"enough," alhaitham interrupted you from taking in another glass. "you are going to get really sick next morning."

you heart somehow dropped at his last sentence.

"since when do you care about my well-being?" you snickered, feeling slightly horrible that you poured your frustration on alhaitham the moment he let go of your drink. your father was the one who unknowingly turned you into a rebellious kid, and alhaitham was just doing his job.

and then you remembered all those times alhaitham sided with your father. no, he was still a cold person, never even pitying you that you couldn't have enough self-expression in your life.

"before he finds you, you should go home," he indirectly broke your train of thoughts.

"couldn't i... stay here for a while? or go somewhere else? it is suffocating to be trapped," you were hanging to the last thread of hope, but it all snapped when alhaitham looked down at you sitting on the stool, his eyes already gave you the answer.

"no," he pulled you off from the chair, and your own body somehow complied although your mind was telling you to stay.

sure, you were strictly physically attracted at him, but you hated how easy it was for him to drag you out of the club and then got you into the car.

and it was surprisingly easy for him to push you inside and strap in the seatbelt without any interference from you.

you somehow got emotional when you realised how long you had been in the cycle—it was definitely the alcohol content that made you having all these mood swings—and how lonely you were despite having alhaitham being with you for the most part in your adulthood life.

and even if you broke down into tears for having your freedom to be stripped away from you by your own family, alhaitham could only focus on the road ahead although you couldn't contain the small cries.

it was hurting your from within, and it killed you to see that no single trace of emotions evident on alhaitham's face.

it was your fault for pining to someone who was known to have a cold heart, and it was definitely ripping your heart into pieces when the thought that how easy you fell for him won you over.

how easy it was when you did what your father wanted for alhaitham to secure his job. all this time, it was all for him. all for alhaitham's sake.

if only you could crack his heart open. if only.

if only you were brave enough to ask him to care for you, that you craved for his love since you were fifteen.

but alhaitham never saw you beyond that. and you blamed the alcohol in your system that you managed to find yourself under his grasp once again.

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