#there are a lot of young people on tiktok who don't know that the world can be a much kinder place outside it

[ask-artsy-oncie]

Why is it that people intrinsically tie fan-culture to mass-consumerism? "You're not a real fan unless you buy all the official merch/multiples of certain merch items" and this pressure to be validated by how much money you pay.

To a degree, I do get it. I'm a collector. Much less so now than I was back in college (I have bills to pay now that I didn't back then), but I do still consider myself so. I like to find obscure merchandise (for me, most of the fun is in the hunt) for the things I love, and I like to display that stuff proudly in my home. But if someone did not, in fact, do that, I wouldn't claim them to like that same thing less. I'd probably actually commend them for being more practical with their money. (Like, yes, it's healthy to get yourself treats, but I need to be clear that it is not financially wise to be spending full paychecks on every piece of media from an obscure 90's video game series you can get your hands on.)

This concept of tying validity to money spent specifically on official merch really only serves to benefit the copyright holders of the media you enjoy - it doesn't benefit you, it certainly doesn't benefit other fans, and it barely even benefits the individual artists who work so hard to create the thing you love (within a case-by-case basis). It's a form of corporate ass-kissing and creates these environments within fandom that actively discourages people from liking media with no active official merch, such as more obscure media or old media - at the very least if actively discourages them from sharing their love for it.

There are games are no longer available to buy outside of overpriced secondhand markets made for consoles that can barely be played on modern TVs, there are shows that never got home media releases, there are songs by musicians who didn't get industry deals. There is some media that can be exceptionally loved by people who cannot give money to their copyright holders in order to enjoy them, period. These pieces of media are worth caring about because someone out there damn well cares about them, and finds value in them. The passion they have for preserving them and talking about them means more than any amount of money ever will.

And speaking of passion, when the hell did hand-made fan merch become "lesser than"??? How does dropping money on something somehow mean more than the time, dedication, AND money someone pours into making their own fan art from scratch? For someone who was born in the US in the 90's, but who's first media special interests were from the early 80's and European comics, I had NO avenue of expressing my love for these pieces of media outside of fanart. I started making my own T-shirts, my own dolls, my own keychains - and to be clear these things looked like SHIT!! I was a child, I had never done something like that before, of course it looked bad. But it was an authentic display of passion. Do you think it'd be fair to gatekeep that declaration of passion from someone just because other people were born in the right time and place to be "real" fans? I certainly hope not.

Kill the damn cops in your head and stop bending to the will of copyright holders. Whatever is or isn't a "real" display of love has nothing to do with the sheer amount of money spent. Shopping addiction is also a real and harmful thing that shouldn't be made the standard for expressing love. Gatekeeping fan culture does nothing but make said fan communities not want you in their community. Kindling hierarchical spaces so you can be sat atop can - and I say this from experience - only end in self-cannibalization. You have nothing to gain long-term from this mentality.

[docholligay]

Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?

Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.

Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!

But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"

Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.

I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.

Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.

But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.

Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.

Also, we don't censor words here.

[two-white-butterflies]

when he goes down on me

Description: A struggling accounting student meets a successful lawyer. A relationship blossoms. With a few social media excerpts.

Pairing: thranduil/reader

Warnings: age-gap

There was a saying around the school - only the accountings get the accountings. While all the students from the other majors were out partying and dancing until their heels hurt from jumping, the accountings were stuck memorizing business terms and calculating debits and credits until their fingers hurt from routinely tapping their calculators. It was a figurative hell on earth.

And you have always been fond of burning.

It was seldom to see you attend a party, but miraculously your schedule cleared up and there weren't any quizzes or lectures in the vicinity. "Are you already missing the comforts of Harvard?" your father teases and you crack a smile. "God, don't remind me of studying." You groaned while slumping on the leather couch.

You've almost forgotten about the comforts of your childhood home after being surrounded by flashing white lights and empty cans of redbull, comfort wasn't exactly in your vocabulary. "I'm just saying; you ditched school to attend the neighborhood gathering and you are cooped up in this humid living room, avoiding everyone who wants to talk to you." He emphasizes, encouraging you to come out.

"Please, those people saw me grow up. I hardly think that I'm missing out." You reasoned, returning your attention back to your cellphone. "- all they ever talk about is me getting married, or at least having a boyfriend." You added while scrolling past a TikTok video about some random guy bashing Crumbl cookies.

The people in your parent's close circle were typical upper-echelon folks whose only means of communicating with some 20+ year old is asking them about marriage. Of course, your usual reply would be that you are not seeing anyone and they'd blink at you like fucking reptiles. They can't fathom the idea that a young, intelligent and relatively good-looking (not ugly) woman still didn't have a husband.

It did make you happy that they found you interesting enough to have a husband but it was infuriating that being married was the only thing they cared about you. They belonged to a different time, you tell yourself before your mind drifts back into TikTok.

"We have a new neighbor, he's a good fellow but he's a little too young for our crowd. I don't think that he's old enough to relate to Geert's Hoover Deluxe jokes. You should talk to him, you've always had magic with your words." He encourages, and a sigh escapes your mouth. "Dad, I'm not talking to one of your golf buddies." You groaned. Maybe it was a mistake coming here.

You still needed to study for the licensure test, that test was something that you could not fail. It was the first step to your CPA to Lawyer plot-line, if you are unable to handle the pressure of the licensure exam then maybe you aren't equipped with Law School. Then, maybe you should just drop out and become a stay-at-home daughter like your other friend, Magnolia.

"He's a lawyer. He handled that case that you were fixated on, the one with the ballerina and her father. Of course, he defended the ballerina." He did his best to remember your teenage ramblings about Oonagh, the ballerina, and her treacherous ex-husband, Gilbert. "What?" You pry your attention away from your mobile phone. Johnson v Johnson was the court case that began your fascination with law, and the guy who defended Oonagh Johnson was in the same house as you! Goddamn.

Thranduil wanted to let the ground consume him whole. He's spent a lot of time with businessmen and world-leaders alike but BBQ with his neighbors was a different type of embarrassment. He couldn't relate to them in matters of American life or farming, and he honestly doesn't know enough about the outsourcing industry to make a decent connection with these folks.

Of course, he could relate to their wives about perfume, but he doesn't want to be that cunt who talks to random people's wives. He seriously wanted to go home, but then he sees a figure in his periphery. A woman with amazing hair, walking towards him and suddenly everything was happening in slow motion.

She takes a step, her hair moves along with her, the wind is her willing assistant and her lips turned upwards. A smile. Is she looking at me? He tries to hide the fact that he was looking over his shoulder. Maybe she's looking at someone behind me? He thinks, but then again, there was no one standing beside him, save the rose bush.

"Hey," you greet him and suddenly he finds himself leaning back into his true self. The confident defense attorney who charms everyone that he speaks to. "Hey?" He raises an eyebrow, as if he's teasing you. "My dad told me that you were the one who defended Oonagh Johnson back in 2012." You opened your mouth to speak.

Always straightforward. Time is gold.

"Yes, it was a terrible thing what happened to her." He breaths. The case seemingly close to his heart just like this case was to you. "I know that it sounds a little creepy but that is my favorite case in the history of the world. I was thirteen years old-" you rambled and he releases a breath that he was unaware that he was holding.

Thirteen years old in 2012. I feel so old. He muses.

"- I didn't know what I wanted to be, and then I saw you and Oonagh on the news. I knew then that I wanted to be in the same spot as you, defending women, minorities, children. I knew then that I wanted to give what was due. Justice." You finished rambling, he notices that smile on your face.

It reminded him of himself back in his rookie days, that hopeless glimmer in your eyes mirroring back to all the years before him. Some dreams remain dreams, and others turn into goals. "Well, that case is close to my heart. I don't think I've ever told anyone about this before but my mother was a victim of domestic abuse, her father was not a good man, and when I defended Oonagh, I felt some sort of retribution..." He pauses. I shouldn't tell this to a stranger.

"It is a different kind of power that you feel when you do something right. Yes, it is every citizen's right to defend themselves in the court of law whether or not they are guilty or innocent, but I think that you'll realize this when you do become a lawyer. It feels like a breath of relief when you bring true justice to the innocents." He continues. A feeling that feels so far from me now.

"Yeah, I don't know how I'll deal with choosing cases when I'm an actual lawyer but my dad says that I don't have to think about that until after I actually pass the bar." You chuckled nervously. He pries his attention away from his current woes, "Oh, are you studying law right now?" He inquired, his body leaning closer to yours.

"Oh no, I'm studying Accounting right now. It's my pre-law course." You informed, and he slowly finds himself respecting you. "I wish that I did something cool like that, my pre-law was Polsci and I wouldn't recommend it even to my worst enemy." He chuckles, his conscience floating away and instead is focused on you.

The shining starlight that has come to guide him away from this existential crisis. "I've heard a lot of things about that major. Some people say that it doesn't really equip you in law school, but the Polsci majors that I know are such cool people." You smiled, only beginning to realize that the man standing in front of you was h o t.

Hot with a capital 'H'.

He had a cleanly shaven face, and beautiful golden blonde hair that seriously rivaled those of the Targaryens that you watch on HBO. (You are still stuck in Season 5 of GOT due to being on studying jail.)

"That major did not help me in law school. It gave me an overview but law school is ultimately a different demon." He warns, staring deep into your eyes. She looks good, he thinks. "Well, hopefully if I pass next year I'll be able to apply for law school. Are there any universities that you recommend?" You ask and he ponders.

"I finished my degree in Harvard-"

"Fuck," you interrupted him. "No, I'm sorry." You gasp.

"I study in Harvard right now. It's just I found it - I don't know." You mentally cringe, accepting the fact that you've let go of your chance with dating this hot lawyer man. "It's alright, I was gonna say to not study in Harvard. Stanford is much better. I've found really formidable opponents who finished their degree in Stanford." He smiles, finding your quirks to be adorable.

It is not everyday that a woman walks into his life and talks about his best case to date, and then laugh about stupid stupid things. "The food isn't really that great to be honest," you mumbled. "Some things never change." He mused. "Oh wait, I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself. I'm Y/N Saint." You offer your hand to shake and he takes it.

"Thranduil Greenwood." He smiles while shaking your hand. He lets go of it, and then remembers. "Daniel's your father?" He asks. "Yeah, but he's not really my biological father, he adopted me when he married my mom." You provided a bit of a background information.

He tries to make the conversation longer, in the hopes that you wouldn't walk away from him or that you'd leave at least an email or a number or a facebook profile so that he'll have some way of communicating with you. "He's a nice guy." He compliments.

"He's more than nice," you smile.

Suddenly, your phone rings. "Oh damn, sorry. I really have to catch a plane, but it was so nice talking to you attorney. Um, do you have a phone or anything. I'd love to keep in touch." You turn the alarm off, and focus your attention back to him. He unlocks his iphone and hands it to you. You glance at his wallpaper. "It's my son." he answers, not bothering to hide that fact about him.

"You have a wife?" You tired to keep your tone nonchalant, but it comes out jealous and icky. "No, his mother left when he was born. Funny enough, I couldn't blame her anyways. I was twenty, she was nineteen and she had an art degree." He jests and you try your best to find an instagram app on his phone.

How old is this man anyways? All he had on his phone was whatsapp, imessage, a few apps that were there when you buy the phone, and then two different email apps (email for apple and gmail.) Which made you want to laugh at him, as it was adorable, but you decide to open his notes app. "I don't have any social media except for instagram so I'll just write my username down and hopefully you do have an Instagram at home." Your voice turns nervous at the end.

There was a 50/50 chance that Thranduil had an instagram. "Goodbye, it was nice talking to you." You greet, handing him his phone, but before he could reply - you sprint away.

yournamesaint: mornings like these...

liked by 891 others

>comments

ingridhorstefe: the type of thing u see before going to bed - yournamesaint: chug redbull and the bed becomes a theory - ingridhorstefe: id reply something smart abt management theory but my brain is fcking fried

"Thank you for helping me set up an Instagram account, Tauriel." Thranduil thanks his intern before taking a sip of his coffee. "I don't think that you should post anything for legal reasons, but I already fixed your profile and privated your account. I also told everyone in the firm to follow you, Legolas says he'll only follow you after you get 10 followers so everyone won't think that he's following a bot." Tauriel continues, and Thranduil has no idea what those words mean.

"It is about time that I enter the realm social media. I mean, it is one thing to not have social media but Atty. Elros has an instagram and he's literally fifty something." Thranduil jokes. "I did tell you to sign up, which reminds me, you should follow Atty. Alfred." Tauriel presses the 'follow' button on his screen.

"As much as I hate Atty. Elros he has an amazing feed." He jokes again, and Tauriel nods agreeing with him. "He's actually an excellent photographer, I've heard a story about him actually. I heard that he wanted to be a photographer at first but then had a change of heart because his twin brother became a neurosurgeon..." Tauriel informs.

greenwoodlaw_ has requested to follow you

yournamesaint wants to call you.

"Hello," he greets seeing your face on the other end of the line. "Hey, I'm surprised to see you with an instagram. I mean I'm not stalking you or anything, it just says 'new' on your profile." You found yourself explaining to him, and he responds with a laugh. "Tauriel, my staff, helped me make this account. I figured that it was about time that I make one, I mean even the old lawyers in the neighboring firm have their own social medias." His big eyebrows merged together.

"I was about to give you my phone number yesterday but I remembered that I didn't have a line. I wouldn't be able to call you or reply to the text messages." You reply uneasily. Your father has pestered you about getting a line since the moment you bought your phone, but you shook him off saying that no one texts or calls people in their mobile number anymore. You were wrong.

"I didn't really bother paying for that since it's a distraction." You settle your phone on the desk in front of you, not bothering to adjust it to an angle that'll make you look better. There is no use fighting against what you really look like. "I understand. Shouldn't you be studying?" He asks and you shake your head.

"I'm free, miraculously, but I'll start on some reviewers in an hour. Better safe than sorry." You inform.

"You must always be on your feet." He says.

"You sound a lot like my professor." You teased. "- but thank you for the advise, I shall use it well." You add.

Tauriel walks inside of his office, carrying a stack of files. "Oh, it looks like you've got a lot of work to do." You smile. Tauriel raises an eyebrow but he gives her a glance telling her not to ask any questions. "I guess this is goodbye. I'll call you again tomorrow."

"Goodbye,"

"Bye."

[adventuringblind]

is oscar the only driver you do autistic!reader for? if not can I request lando x daniel x autistic!reader.

any situation is fine I don't mind 😊

My love, my life, and nerodivergent partners in crime

Daniel Riccairdo x reader x Lando Norris

Genre: angsty fluff (I think)

Summarry: How Daniel managed to keep two nerdiverdent young adults in line... nobody will ever know

Warnings: Lando is ADHD coded, and you can't change my mind (and he's dyslexic anyway), AGE GAP, Max loves to tease

Notes: I am officially only taking requests for poly reader inserts at this time. Also, do Lando and Daniel have a ship name?!?! I need this information for my masterlist, please, and thanks.

Masterlist

Everyone always wondered why Daniel Ricciardo trailed behind Lando Norris and his girlfriend by three steps. People have theorized its because he's thirdwheeling. Some say the pair doesn't pay attention to him.

The real reason, though? It's his way of showing he cares in the paddock.

Max teases him about it all the time and is the only one who gets away with it. The two younger are, however, a chaotic mess. They can not make it from one place to another without something happening. So Daniel trails behind them a few steps to make sure they make it to their destination.

It's certainly wasn't an ideal way to get together. Especially because Daniel is older than both by more than is socially acceptable by most.

Ironically, none of them were together when Daniel started at McLaren. An Australian who smiles a lot, a Brit who is loose lipped, and a shy little psychologist who hates talking until you get her on driver brains and how they work. What could possibly go wrong?

She started work at McLaren the year before Daniel. Something in the strategy department. She watches and listens and somehow can predict what the drivers are going to do, what they need to perform, and how their opponents might respond. Lando says it's a superpower. Daniel says she's autistic and watches how people behave for a living (she agrees with him).

The three of them got along better than anyone wants to admit. The world saw then as awkward and dysfunctional. Which wasn't a lie, but it's also just their combinations of personalities.

Daniel picked up on it first. The stolen glances and blushed cheeks. Then, drunk confessions happen. Neither of the younger two like drinking. Which is ridiculous, in Daniel's opinion. Or maybe it was ridiculous because he's the one who drunkenly confesses to the pair while they attempt to get him back to his room.

Supposedly, Max was there and heard everything. Daniel denies this relentlessly.

Lando picked up on the confession, confronted him about it, and then awkwardly kissed him on his tip toes (he was shorter then).

The biggest hurdle was the female. The one who studies people. The one who can predict what Daniel is going to have for lunch on Friday at two because he likes to eat later.

She's clueless.

Lando tries to tell her. Daniel attempts sober. She doesn't get it.

The two have to put it in the form of a business meeting and tell her until she gets it. That seems to work as they end up going on a date post confession.

If he's being honest, half the time love them is really just making sure they are getting along with the world. Not people, the environments they end up in (which often includes the people).

So Daniel walks three steps behind them. The people tease on socials. They edit him in tiktoks. But he could care less.

He loves his two nerodivergent partners. He loves their little quirks and they way they see the world. So Daniel determines he's okay being behind them. Because he loves them and wants nothing more than to watch out for his partners in crime.

[pers1st]

people help the people

pairing: lucy bronze (platonic) x reader

notes: mentions of suicide, not really ahappy ending, whole lotta angst, don't read if you're not in a good place.

i lost my best friend to suicide about a year ago and it's genuinely been the hardest thing of my life to go through, and even though i feel incredibly selfish for comparing my pain to hers, i just hope that everyone who's in a bad place will feel better soon. your death will hurt people, even if you don't believe it. my messages are always open !!

“Heartbreaking news have hit the football community earlier this morning as Arsenal have confirmed the death of young defender, Y/N Y/L/N. The club has stated that Y/L/N, who also played for the Lionesses, was found dead in her apartment late last night. Her death has been ruled as suicide. Other than that, both the club and the FA have asked for privacy as they deal with this tragic loss. The matches of this week will take place as usual, though the teams have agreed collectively to wear black armbands, along with having a minute of silence ahead of the match’s begin.”

The internet was a cruel place, Lucy realized a week after your death. There were countless articles, invasive messages, offensive comments about how and why your presence had been tragically ripped away from this world. She didn’t understand - how could she? Lucy liked to believe that the two of you had a real bond, with you only being nineteen years old and looking up to Lucy as if she was a Goddess, following her every step, studying her every move, clinging onto her every word as if she spoke a prayer. The admiration wasn’t one-sided, either. Lucy looked up to you. How could she not? You were so young, and faced with so much adversity - the fact that you were as professional as you were at such a young age, you impressed Lucy. You had. Until Keira had filled her in on the news ahead of a training session at Barcelona, shattering Lucy’s heart in the process. You had reached out to Lucy a lot, but never about anything this serious. You had told Lucy a lot of things, but nothing grave enough a reason to take your own life. 

Admittedly, she knew the odd joke you had made - when you had slipped on the ball in front of the whole team, crashing down onto your stomach and banging your head enough to leave a glaringly obvious bump on your forehead, only to realize that the media staff had caught the moment and posted it to TikTok mere moments later. You had said, then, that you might as well have offed yourself. Lucy had laughed. Leah, who had been standing closeby, had laughed. You had laughed as you said it, but the words didn’t leave Lucy’s head anymore. You had said it. Right in front of her. How could she not have noticed?

It took minutes for Lucy’s face to be drenched in tears, hours until she would leave the medical room, which Keira had cleared and led her into, knowing very well that Lucy would not want anyone to see her raw emotions, days until Lucy returned to training, and months for anyone in the football community to address the situation. Mental health. Mental illness. Lights and shadows that came with being exposed to such brutal schedules, invasive comments, being shown off for everyone to see while no one ever required to know anything substantial. People wanted funny comments, smiles, laughter. No one ever cared about the weight dragging any players down, until it was too late - Lucy realized, as everyone and their mother seemed opposed to even speaking your name, only that energy into  searching, very openly, both in comment sections or live on broadcasted TV, for the reason you had left life behind. Lucy searched for it too, though more secludedly.

She re-read your messages for hours, in the little light the moon provided as it fell through the cracks of her bedroom window, deciphering each and every letter, pronouncing the words out loud in different tones, scrolling through your social media to search for any clue. You had had your fair share of problems- you had told Lucy about them. You hadn’t been a big fan of the fans seemingly taking property of you. You hadn’t been ready for the pressure that you would be put under after another one of your defenders was injured and you were re-called from your loan to step into the position immediately. You hadn’t dealt well with the lack of your parents’ presence. Though you had still lived with them, they had rarely attended your matches, always able to come up with an excuse, one that you believed. You had defended them, shielding your family from Lucy's criticism when you had let her know, in another disappointed text message, that they hadn’t been able to make it. You hadn’t wanted to accept the fact that they simply weren’t interested in your career, and Lucy had accepted that. 

Now, though, she wondered whether you had silently accepted it, and been too ashamed to admit it. Lucy knew that it wasn’t your fault - you had been the biggest ray of sunshine, even through your difficulties. You had managed to put a smile on everyone’s face, even though you had always been a little shy. You had been sweet, and kind, and gentle. Had Lucy been your parent- she would’ve let everyone know, would’ve shown you off to the world with pride, would’ve been there for everyone of your big moments. She had managed to fly out for the Conti Cup final, together with Keira, to watch you win the second domestic trophy in your senior career, only this time it was as a key-player rather than a super-sub. 

Lucy was never really able to figure out your exact reasoning - perhaps that was the deal with mental illness. It was an illness. Perhaps there was no reasoning, perhaps the whole point of being ill was the fact that a healthy person would never be able to grasp the darkness that clenched your soul and inevitably drove you to death. If Lucy had learned one thing, though, it was the fact that she was never going to let anyone feel like you must’ve, ever again.

She had seen your parents during the funeral, had witnessed what your death had done to the people, who, though she never really liked them, had raised an absolutely incredible girl. She had seen your room, per her parents request, had seen the blood stained tiles on your bathroom floor, had heard your mother’s mumbled apology for not being able to clean it all. She had seen where you had spent your very last minutes, and she had thought about what must’ve been going on through your head, and it had almost suffocated her. And that was how she found herself here - in a studio in London on her rare off day, with Sky Sports, in an interview room that felt uncomfortable, a seat that pressed into her back, and a microphone in her sweaty hands. 

“I just think that mental health is so, so important. I don’t know what it’s like to feel like… to feel like there’s no way out anymore, but I do know what it feels like to lose a person to their illness. It’s brutal. It makes you think you’ve failed them, and it makes you want to wish you had done more. I don’t want anyone to experience that.”

Lucy swallowed thickly, glancing at the reporter next to her. The man was kind, he handled the interview with delicacy. Your death had shocked the world, and by now, people knew to be respectful. Enough time had passed. Everyone had gotten over the initial shock. Everyone was left behind with that same distaste in their mouth and a hole in their stomach. People were delicate, when they mentioned you. They were still wearing black armbands in the WSL, and Lucy still wore the bracelet she had been given by your parents, taping it up for every match, letting any of her lioness teammates kiss her wrist whenever they scored. 

“Is that why it’s so important to talk about this, to you?”

“Yeah, it’s definitely part of it. But I think most of all, I think we need to speak about it for Y/N. I think if we’d had this kind of open conversation a few months ago, she would’ve maybe reached out, you know. If I had educated myself on the topic better, maybe I could’ve seen the signs. I think it’s more for the people who feel the way she felt. If we can make even a single person reach out for help when they initially wouldn’t, I think it’s paid off.”

The man nodded. 

“It’s just… you know. There’s always another way. Even when you don’t feel like it. I don’t know what it’s like to go through suicidal tendencies, but I do know what it’s like to feel sort of, hopeless. And I know that whatever happens, the world is a better place with you in it. Suicide is such a cruel way to go. I’ve wondered a lot, you know, whether she’s happier now, but I don’t think she is. Y/N had so many ambitions, so many dreams. She had such a bright future and yeah, for a mental illness to rip that away from her, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with that.”

Lucy sniffed, the tears dwelling in her eyes by now. She had never spoken about your death publically. No one had, not exactly. Sure, there had been underlying comments, minutes of silence and the odd mention of your name, but people had been cautious to actually speak about the situation. She couldn’t blame them, because fuck- this hurt. She saw your face whenever she closed her eyes. She heard your voice whenever she couldn’t sleep, your laughter was engraved into her brain. There would not be a day in her life that she didn’t miss you. It hurt. A lot. The realization that you weren’t just a few countries away, that you wouldn’t call her back later, that you wouldn’t call her after an important match or visit her in Barcelona like you had said you would.

“You’ve been kind of hesitant to agree to this interview. Why do you think that is? I mean, no one has really spoken about Y/N’s death as openly as you have.”

“Yeah, I think it’s difficult. To admit this kind of pain. I mean- it shouldn’t be, you know? I think it’s important to speak about this kind of loss and all the hurt that comes with it. Not out of a place to put blame, I’d never blame her. But just to, yeah, make people realize how bad this kind of loss hurts. How much people miss her, because we all miss her, even though some people are hesitant to say it out loud.”

“How do you feel about people being so hesitant?”

“I don’t think you can blame them, you know. Grief looks different for anyone. And I guess I’m a fixer kind of person. I want to fix things, and even though I’ll never be able to, you know, fix this, I do hope that by speaking up about this, I can potentially save someone from doing the same thing. Let people know that mental health should never be a taboo, encourage people to speak up before it’s too late. Because the world will miss you, even if you don’t think it will. The world is a different place without you in it”, she concluded, though she was mostly speaking to you.

It was true. The world was different, now that you were gone. Your friends- mostly the younger girls in the Arsenal squad, seemed to be less talkative. Arsenal was a different place- Leah had told Lucy during your funeral. Everyone was a little less talkative, the loss hanging heavy over the team. Kim worried a lot, about the younger ones, whereas the older, more experienced players, dealt with the same kind of guilt Lucy felt. 

Barcelona was different too, though you had never played there. Alexia and Patri seemed to be checking on everyone a little more frequently, holding the team together, making sure everyone was okay. Lucy wasn’t, of course, though her team tried their best to help her move forward.

She did, eventually. England camps became less heavy, and when England won the Euros in 2025 again, during Lucy’s last match, she held up your shirt proudly, keeping the medal that had your name engraved in it, without shedding a single tear. When Arsenal won the Super League that year, they did the same thing. Lucy still felt a pinch in her chest everytime one of your teams reached another milestone, because she had wanted you to experience those kind of things. You deserved to experience your first league title, your second Euros, but more than anything-

She envisioned the life you could’ve lived, away from football. You deserved to fall in love, to visit Barcelona and every other place in the world you would’ve wanted to. You deserved to move out of your parents home into your first ever flat, you deserved to get a kitten and name it something ridiculous, the way you had always planned. You deserved to feel the rays of sun on your skin on the odd day it didn’t rain in London, you deserved to go on another trip to Ibiza and terrorize the rest of the girls in the club for another night. You deserved to be a bridesmaid at a wedding, the way you had always wanted to. You deserved a lot more than dying at nineteen. Everyone did. And Lucy would spend the rest of her career, potentially the rest of her life, making sure that people who felt the same way you had would feel a little less alone, a little more hopeful, would live a little longer. Anything in her power. She would do it all.

[shallyouobeyme]

For the “spicy” prompt im imagining Platonic Yandere Batfam discovering your internet history, and having a confrontation about how you’re far too young for such things (reader is a full adult, not that the Batfam sees it that way).

I sadly already have something written out for today, but I really love this idea so I decided that I'd just go into the concept a bit as well - I mean I make the rules to this so I might as well use that power.

Okay, so I don't really write smut as of now because I don't read it and I do have not a lot of real-life experience so I figure it might just be a lot of cringy blabbering. But let's go with the 'spicey' meaning that horny adolescents will probably think of when reading the word in the context of fanfiction.

Now you're probably somewhere in the span of 16-20 in this scenario, old enough to live independently on your own, but young enough that the batfam can somehow justify it in their mind to treat you like a precious, fragile, little toddler. Sure, some of them logically know that you're basically a grown-up, but with how much effed-up shit they see every day they don't really wanna admit that to themselves and rather chose to act all 'I do not see'. And while that's all fine and dandy for them to do, it doesn't change the logical facts. Fact number one: You grew out of binkies and blankies like a decade ago, for god's sake Dick stop trying to make me take ten naps a day with them. Fact number two: Like I said, you're kind of (definitely) an adult and assuming that you have not always been the coddled little Wayne-baby that the Batfam wants to see you as you've probably been exposed to adult things before and aren't sensitive with seeing them. Like, guys, I was reading the news daily before you crazy people kidnapped me - stop talking about international crises as if the countries are people who have minor disagreements, okay? Fact number three: there comes a time in an adult's life when they might be craving a somewhat more intimate partner in their life - and no, Damian, I don't mean the bestest friend in the whole world forever, I mean a guy or a gal or a nonbinary pal who can rock your shit, if you get my drift (never dare say that to Damian out loud tho, you will be having your mouth washed out with soap). So while it might be a giant oversight on your part to not realize that all your precious internet time is completely monitored, you still probably haven't expected to be sat down by Bruce, Dick, Jason and Alfred and get a lecture on how you're way too little to look up these kinds of things (you looked up TikTok videos and happened to watch a few with TikTokers dancing in slightly less covered clothing) and how your mind is too undeveloped to grasp these big things you searched for (you looked up a statistic on the rate of kidnapping victims to get killed) and how you should keep playing your safe games instead of these violent ones (you looked at a game trailer for Cyberpunk 2077).

All your arguing falls on deaf ears. They just don't wanna hear that you're not their little, innocent baby. The only good thing is that they don't think you have enough logical thinking skills yet to properly grasp the situation so you'll be punished very lightly (a month without internet privileges). Once you're allowed to go online again though, you'll have to make do with the special kiddy-pad they got you with all the safety features and parental controls installed. So yeah, might wanna get used to being without the internet from now on...

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce Wayne would be fricked for a while if Diddy was in his world and got caught.

I saw a video on tiktok (i just use to watch videos) and it made me laugh because it posed the question of what if Diddy or that island guy (don't want to say his name) were in the DC world and how Bruce Wayne as like a crazy rich play boy would be kind of screwed in terms of people questioning what the guy who disappears at parties, has taken in like three adopted kids, had a kid with a random woman, the second son fucking dying (and possibly being confirmed alive or has to remain in hiding), adopted one girl and took in a black boy and it's like we as readers know he's a good dude, but could you imagine that? Heck he might have people argue he's not that type of guy, but then have people go "I don't know Lex was attending those parties." And then someone goes "Yeah, but he's an actual bad guy!"

Heck a picture of Bruce shaking hands with Diddy under the assumption he was a good guy years before everything was revealed or Bruce was aware, but he knew the power Diddy had. Also the guy asked "Why did Dick Grayson just leave and move to Bludhaven?" And I love that lol because again we know why he left. It was a mix of rebellion and wanting to be his own hero, but... the gotham people don't know that.

Now Bruce has to remain quiet as people question how he's adopted one orphan, one kid who had a drug addicted mother and father and again died (and there was a CPS comic storyline after Jason died mind you), one who's parents died later in life and then Damian... is related to Ra's! (which I'm not sure if the world knows).

He's fighting for his life, but what he hates the most in this situation? The people he saw on twitter and defending him in the sense of the possibility he was involved, the creep fangirls, the strange homophobic and accusations of being a diddler. Dude would be pissed, like I'd feel so bad for him lol. So bad to the point I imagine after Jason Todd has a good laugh, he has to defend freaking Bruce and argue while he is a lot of things, he's not attend parties called the freak off (or whatever they were called) or going to islands to do those crimes when in reality Batman had gone there... TO BEAT THE CREEPS ASSES!

Bruce is in his office one day like, "I'm rich, but I'm not a monster. God damn it I send money to help people suffering in war torn countries, I'm a good man!" Gotta be comforted by Selina and Alfred. Honestly I did get annoyed when people in our world made fun of the whole Bruce adopted a young child, because yes at first it's odd, but then you realize he took in a kid who watched his parents die, horribly. That shit is sad to witness and Bruce went through the same thing. Same with Jason or keeping Tim when Tim lost his parents. It shows his kind side. Yes, it's odd he made them robins, but like... a sidekick is awesome to have. lol

That's my ramblings for the day.

[rambleonwaywardson]

Clegan Olympics AU - Village Shenanigans Collection

Masterpost

Author's Note: Don't worry, I'm working on Event Finals Part 2 and plan to have it out early next week at the latest. But in the process of taking drabble requests, I accidentally combined them all into this little series of drabbles about the boys doing random shit around the Village and Bucky recording it all for TikTok (cause of course he does). I watched a lot of Athlete Village tiktoks for the sole purpose of writing this.

This all takes place before Bucky's event finals.

---

Gale Cleven doesn’t do social media. Not by choice, at least.

He posts on instagram semi-regularly because US Equestrian begs him to and Benny and Marge force him to. Even then, mostly it’s pictures of Whiskey. Many of them include him riding her, decked out in tack and clothing from some sponsor or another. Very very few posts exist, though, of just Gale. It’s not often that people get to see what he looks like or who he is outside of horseback riding.

Tiktok is a whole other beast that he refuses to approach. He has an account, sure. But there’s only a handful of videos on it, almost all of them from at least two years ago, and most of them posted at Marge’s prodding.

This is a problem for the newfound Gale Cleven – ahem, equestrian – fans of the world. After opening ceremonies, seeing Gale in all his beautiful, adorable, humble glory alongside America’s gymnastics darling, John Egan, people wanted to know who this man was. They flocked to his social media accounts, sharing what little they could across platforms and obsessing over every detail. Every hint of his lovely personality and every glimpse of his perfect body. But there’s just not enough Gale Cleven content out there. 

John has made it his personal mission to give that to the world.

For all that Gale doesn’t care for posting about his life on social media, Bucky documents his own Olympic experience like a second job. Everywhere he goes around the Olympic Village, he’s posting to his story or recording a short video, showing them his life as an Olympic athlete or giving tours of the amenities. “It’s my duty, as an athlete,” he tries to explain to Gale.

“To show them everything?” Gale asks skeptically, when he catches Bucky making a video of the food in the dining hall.

“Yes,” Bucky says.

All the gymnasts, really, are like that. Marge and Benny, too. And they’ve ganged up on Gale to the point that he has a social media presence even when he barely posts a thing.

—

One of the things Gale does bother to post on Instagram is the pictures they all take together in front of the giant Olympic rings. There’s a nice shot of Gale alone, looking like a goddamn model with his hair styled all messy, one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing absently at his chin as he poses in black jeans and a thin, navy blue USA sweatshirt. “When did the equestrians get so hot?” people will comment.

Adding fuel to the fire, there’s a sweet one of Gale, Benny, and Marge standing with their arms over each others’ shoulders in front of the rings. They all smile brightly at the camera, three young, attractive equestrians that America is falling in love with.

There’s several of Gale and Bucky together that find their way to the internet via one equestrian or gymnast or another. One of them standing side by side, Bucky’s arm around Gale’s shoulders like they’re just good bros. Then there’s the ones that aren’t very bro-like at all. Like the one where Bucky is kissing Gale on the cheek; the one where Gale is hiding his laughter by burying his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck; and the one where Bucky is holding Gale by the waist and they’re looking dreamily into each other’s eyes because they forgot there was a camera. 

Finally, there’s one of all of them together – three equestrians and all five male gymnasts. The cross-over that America never knew they needed but now can’t get enough of.

Gale simply posts the photos with a vague caption about making friends at the Games. Bucky, on the other hand, posts a whole tiktok documenting the series of events that transpired for each photo.  There’s a clip of Marge directing Gale, once again, like a model, having him put his hands in and out of his pockets, turn this way and that, run a hand through his hair. Gale pouts and tells Marge that this is ridiculous. Marge tells him that people will love it (she’s right). 

Bucky can be heard calling out to him from off screen. “Lookin’ good, Buck!” 

Cue the fangirls freaking out about Bucky calling Gale ‘Buck.’

There’s a clip of Bucky turning to Gale after their little photo session and kissing him right on the mouth, making Gale blush. 

Then there’s several clips of the gymnasts climbing all over the rings in every way possible, standing on them, hanging from them, trying to do different gymnastics holds on them. In one iconic photo that will be shown during their Today Show interviews and circulated across various Team USA accounts, Bucky manages a near perfect Maltese inside the green ring on the right while Curt holds himself up in a straddle on top of the black one in the middle. Croz and Alex hang from the red and blue ones on the ends while Brady does an awkward L sit, having to duck his head, inside the yellow one on the left. In the background of the video, Gale can be heard saying “Please don’t fall!” And Bucky, still in a maltese, yells back, “It’s fine, doll.”

Cue the fangirls freaking out about Bucky calling Gale ‘doll.’

—

Gale watches Bucky with an eyebrow raised as he pans the camera over to him. They’re sitting at one of the tables in the Village dining hall, and Bucky has recorded most of their experience here this morning.

“You got a muffin, Buck?” he exclaims. For a second he’s so excited about it that the camera tilts and Gale goes half out of frame. 

“I did,” Gale says slowly. Bucky pouts behind the camera and Gale stifles a laugh. “I can get you one if you want?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m tryin’ to be good.” 

“Have you had one yet?”

“No,” Bucky whines. “I’m waiting until after all my events.” He stares longingly at the muffin over his phone, practically drooling as he zooms in with the camera. The only gymnast on his team who’s had one already is Croz, and he hasn’t shut up about it.

Gale smirks as he slowly, teasingly, unwraps the chocolate muffin. “A shame. They’re really good.”

He bites into it and closes his eyes, making a whole little show of how good it is. When he swallows, there’s a bit of chocolate stuck to his lip, and Bucky leans over to wipe it away with his thumb.

“You gonna post that?” Gale asks.

“You bet, babe. The people deserve to see it.”

Cue fangirls freaking out over Bucky calling Gale ‘babe,’ and Gale moaning over a chocolate muffin.

Gale rolls his eyes, but takes another bite, making eye contact with Bucky as he does so. “Really fuckin’ good,” he insists. Like teasing Bucky is some sort of payback for putting him on TikTok.

Bucky groans. “That’s it.” He leans across the table and grabs the muffin from Gale’s hand. He flips the camera as he bites into it, and practically moans as he gets his first taste of this cake from the fuckin’ gods. “Oh my god.”

Gale can be heard laughing in the background. “You’ve got chocolate on your mouth.”

The video stops right after Bucky says, “Well you better come help me get it off, then.”

—

“Oh look, it’s Mr. Silver Medalist, Buck Cleven.”

Bucky stands over Gale, who is laying on his back on the floor of the bedroom he shares with Benny. Gale looks up, unamused, when he sees Bucky recording. “Everyone’s calling me that ‘cause of you.”

Bucky shrugs innocently. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

Gale shifts a little to get more heat on his upper back and grimaces. “You gave me your name,” he grunts.

Bucky waves a hand dismissively. “What are you doing, Mr. Silver Medalist Buck Cleven?”

Gale sighs and looks away from Bucky, back up at the ceiling above him. “Laying on a heating pad.”

“Why?”

Gale works his jaw and looks back at Bucky like a petulant child. “Cause my back is messed up and I can’t move.”

Bucky nods thoughtfully behind the camera. “And why is that?”

“Cause I screwed it up during cross country and then did two rounds of show jumping.”

“And?”

“And then I did a weight workout the next morning anyways.”

Bucky makes a go on motion with his free hand. “And?”

“Went for a run around the village.”

“And?”

Gale’s look turns into a glare, but it doesn’t have any malice behind it. “And you told me not to do any of that.”

“You’re damn right I did,” Bucky says. He flips the camera around so he and Gale are both in the frame. “See, people? Even someone as perfect as Gale Cleven can be an idiot.”

He sets the phone down and props it against the wall so it will continue recording without him holding it. Then he sinks to his knees and crawls over top of Gale, laying on him with his head on his chest. A moment that will be screenshotted and shared a million times over

Gale turns his head and gives a long suffering look to the camera. That moment, on the other hand, of Gale staring, unamused, straight at the camera like he’s on the Office while Bucky clings to him, will become one of the most popular memes from the Games. “This isn’t helping,” he says.

“Shh. It’s fine.”

—

Gale is standing outside the dining hall where Bucky told him to meet them, but they’re a good ten minutes late. Gale would be debating whether or not he should text, but he’s been kept busy. In that time, just standing outside, he has traded pins with four different athletes. He now has Serbia, Great Britain, Ireland, and Austria, which he’s been looking for all week since it’s Whiskey’s birth place. 

He also has the phone number of an Irish diver with a sweet smile who Gale kind of thinks he might’ve flirted back with if he wasn’t already standing around waiting for the most beautiful guy in the world.

He’s waving goodbye to the cute redhead when he sees them approaching: three idiots on bicycles. Bucky is steering with one hand and awkwardly dragging along a spare bike with the other. He’s singing Blue Skies by Frank Sinatra, very off key, and he breaks into a wild grin when he sees Gale looking at him.

“Was starting to think you wouldn’t show up,” Gale says as they approach. “I almost went off with that Irish guy.”

Bucky’s jaw drops and he gasps as he slows to a stop. “You wouldn’t!”

“I’m still here aren’t I?”

Bucky frowns, wondering how serious Gale is being. But he shakes it off when he sees the way Gale is smirking at him. “I got you a bike!” he exclaims. He smoothly hops off his own bike, but the spare one falls over in the process with a loud clatter that gets some looks from the athletes wandering in and out of the dining hall. He rushes around to right it again as Curt, Croz, and Benny come to a stop beside him. “Did you know the Village has bikes?”

Gale nods, eyebrow raised. “I did.”

“Well come on then, we’re exploring.” Bucky shoves the extra bike forward and waits for Gale to take it. Gale shakes his head and chuckles, but he grabs the handlebars and swings his leg over with ease.

They spend a good couple hours biking through what feels like the entire village, past the athlete house of probably every single country. Bucky and Curt call out random things to people they pass just to see who will respond. They yell “USA! USA! USA!” as they pass the USA house, starting up a chant on the sidewalk as athletes walk in and out. They stop here and there to say hi to someone, trade pins, grab snacks, or whatever else one of them deems important enough to pull over for. Even if, on one occasion, Bucky insists that they need to stop to watch two birds fight over a lonely, forgotten potato chip.

Bucky and Curt record periodically, showing their surroundings. Bucky at one point zooms in very close on Gale’s ass, but he’ll never even know because he won’t ever watch the video. From the back, Curt records as Bucky swerves in close to Gale and reaches out to tap him on the hand. Gale glances over at him and Bucky pouts until he lets go of the handlebar to twine their fingers together. They continue on like that down the road, biking hand in hand. 

“You two are gross!” Benny calls out.

“You told me I needed to be social!” Gale yells back, looking over his shoulder with his hair blowing in the breeze and a legitimate smile on his face that will make viewers swoon.

Benny throws a hand up in the air and motions to John. “I didn’t mean for you to get yourself fucked by the hottest guy in the village!”

Curt laughs so hard he falls off his bike, the video showing a rapid and discombobulating tumble to the ground as the phone falls out of his hand and skids across the pavement.

It’ll be one of his most watched TikToks of the week.

—

Giving my boyfriend baguettes until he asks wtf I’m doing

That’s it. That’s the video. 

Gale is sitting on one of the chairs in the living area of Bucky and Curt’s suite, reading some book about the history of space travel because he’s a nerd and Bucky loves him for it. Curt is sitting across the room, trying (probably failing) to be inconspicuous about recording as Bucky hands Gale a whole baguette. 

Gale looks at Bucky with an eyebrow raised, but he hesitantly takes the baguette. Bucky smiles and nods like a puppy bringing their person a stick, and Gale gently sets the baguette on the small coffee table in front of him, eyes still on Bucky with an expression that says are you good? He goes back to his book. 

A few seconds later, Bucky hands him another baguette. 

“John?” Gale gives him a look somewhere between amused and annoyed. 

“Shh,” Bucky says, nudging Gale’s hand with the end of the loaf.

Gale sighs, takes the baguette, rips a small piece off to pop in his mouth, and sets it on the table with the other one. 

By the third baguette, Gale looks up at Bucky, sets down his book, and crosses his arms. “What are you doing?”

“Baguette,” Bucky insists, shoving the bread forward at Gale. 

“You’re not a penguin, hon,” Gale tells him. 

Cue fangirls obsessing over Gale calling John “hon.”

A pause. Bucky stands there, baguette in hand, and squints in confusion. “What?”

Gale motions to the baguettes accumulating on the coffee table. “Quit giving me baguettes like a penguin giving their mate pebbles.”

Bucky blinks, trying to recall when in his life he should have learned about such a thing, but comes up empty. He shakes his head. “Penguins do that?”

Gale nods, and Curt breaks out laughing behind the camera because that’s kind of exactly what Bucky is doing. 

“Why do you have so many baguettes?” Gale asks. 

Bucky points to Curt, and Gale narrows his eyes when he sees Curt recording. He runs a hand through his hair and sighs in acceptance. “Ok… Why do you have so many baguettes?”

Curt shrugs. “Keep buyin’ ‘em from the cafe.”

“You’re supposed to eat them, you know,” Gale deadpans. He’s bought a couple things from the little shop Curt is talking about, which serves fresh-baked bread every day. Because… Paris.

“Why would I eat that many baguettes?” Behind the camera, Curt gives a what the fuck kind of look.

Gale stares at Curt for a long few seconds. Then he asks “Why would you buy that many baguettes?”

“Why not?”

Bucky rips a big bite off the end of the baguette he’s still holding as he watches this interaction.

Gale rubs a hand over his face in exasperation. “So you just buy a baguette from the cafe every day and never eat it?”

Curt nods and motions to the three baguettes that have been offered to Gale. “You can have one if you want. I have more.”

Gale looks up at Bucky and rolls his eyes at the way he’s trying not to laugh, his mouth full of bread. Bucky swallows, leans down, and kisses him on the cheek.

—

So far Bucky has given his followers, and all who care to watch, tours of the dining hall and cafes, his suite, Gale’s suite, the Team USA House, the gym, and much of the Village grounds. Up on the list today, among other amenities, is the mindfulness zone.

“Are you feeling mindful, boys?” He turns the camera to look at Gale and Curt, who are walking beside him. 

“Oh I’m always mindful,” Curt says, nodding thoughtfully.

Gale glances at Curt and scoffs. “You’re the least mindful person I know.” Even when they were in college, Curt was… Curt.

Curt points a finger at Gale. “I’m gonna practice some mindfulness right now and not say somethin’ snarky back.”

The wall outside the mindfulness zone reads “Strength comes from within. Enter here to train your mind.” Bucky pans over it dramatically before shifting the camera to Gale. “Are you feeling the strength from within?”

“No.”

Inside, the mindfulness zone is lit entirely in blue light with large chairs scattered about that look like they’re meant to be comfortable but probably aren’t. Fluffy, tufted things that more than likely are stuffed so full that they’re stiff as a board. Quiet, soothing music is playing, and there’s a few people scattered about. One guy in the corner is just laying on the floor with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled down over his face, dead to the world.

“Look at those wild-ass plants!” Curt exclaims, pointing towards one corner of the room. Big, spiky-looking potted plants sit in between some of the chairs. A village staff member tells Curt to please keep his voice down, but he’s already walking away towards the plants to touch them and all she can do is watch, at a loss. “I wanna know if they’re actually pointy,” he says, quieter this time.

Gale sits down in one of the chairs, which has a seat that’s entirely too deep and a back that’s entirely too short. But he curls up on it like a cat, bringing his feet up and pulling his knees close to his chest. “That can’t be good for your back,” Bucky points out.

Gale flips him off – and the phone he’s recording with. Bucky tells him that that is definitely going in the final video. Gale shoos Bucky away, closing his eyes.

Bucky wanders around for another minute, checking out some of the decor around the room – weird drapes and beads hanging from the ceiling, abstract statues of nothing, more plants. But, inevitably, he stops back in front of Gale again. 

Gale opens his eyes. “Can I help you?”

“I’m bored,” Bucky complains, shoving his phone back in his pocket.

The corner of Gale’s lip quirks up. “We just got here.”

“It’s too quiet,” Bucky insists.

Gale squints at him. “It’s a mindfulness zone, darling.”

Cue fangirls freaking out over Gale calling Bucky ‘darling.’

“Let’s go to the game room or something instead.” Bucky perks up like a literal lightbulb went off in his head “Oh! Or the USA House.”

“We’re going to the USA House later,” Gale reminds him. Just like they went the day before and will likely go the day after. It’s Bucky’s favorite place to meet people, drink, and be generally obnoxiously American.

“Game room then.”

Gale sighs. “I’ve changed my mind. You’re the least mindful person I know.” He motions to Curt, who is still standing next to a plant, mindlessly stroking one of the weird leaves. “At least he’s having a moment with that thing.”

Bucky is bouncing from foot to foot now, buzzing with too much energy for this place. “It’s boring here,” he complains again. 

Gale tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at him. “You take your ADHD meds today?”

Bucky shakes his head and shrugs. “Ran out.”

“John, what the hell?”

Bucky ignores him and instead reaches down to grab Gale’s hand, tugging on it. “Come on, Buck.”

The same staff member from earlier gives them a look and opens her mouth to say something – presumably that they need to be quiet – but Gale puts a hand up. “Don’t worry,” he tells her. “We’ll go.”

Bucky smiles and kisses Gale’s knuckles before pulling him up out of the chair.

—

“What are you doing?” Gale slumps his shoulders with a heavy sigh, watching Bucky with an eyebrow raised as the gymnast shoves his phone into Curt’s waiting hands. Croz and Benny are off to the side, pretending to be Olympic boxers while they wait for whatever is about to happen. 

It’s been a week and a half of Bucky forcing Gale to have an online presence, and he’s resigned himself to being a prop in the social media series of Bucky’s life. He won’t admit that he’s kind of flattered by the attention people seem to be giving him, but he’d be just as fine being a nobody around here. 

“You just stay there and look pretty, angel,” Bucky says dismissively.

Cue fangirls freaking out over Bucky calling Gale ‘angel.’

“Right here?”

Bucky looks over his shoulder. Gale is standing awkwardly in the middle of the broad sidewalk, which is lined with the flags of all the countries represented in the Games, at the front of the village. “Yeah. Put your hand in your pocket or something. Act like you don’t hate life.”

Gale rolls his eyes but straightens up, replacing the scowl on his face with something more relaxed. He shoves one hand into the pocket of his blue jeans. As is protocol, all of them are decked out in red, white, and blue USA wear. Gale is wearing a form-fitting white t-shirt with “USA” printed in red and blue across the chest, showing off shoulders that are broader than anyone would think at first look when they see his slender frame on horseback. Bucky’s barely been able to keep his hands off him all day.

“Better,” Bucky calls out. “Stay like that!”

Gale looks around as other athletes pass, a few sending questioning or flirty looks his way. One comes up to him, congratulates him on his team and individual medals, and asks to trade a pin. Gale smiles and nods, handing over a USA pin in exchange for New Zealand. Bucky gets a little lost in the way Gale blushes a bit and excitedly adds the pin to his lanyard after the other athlete walks away. Gale won’t know until later that that was caught on video, too.

“Go,” Curt says, snapping Bucky out of it.

He jogs away from Curt and the camera, right towards Gale, who looks up in confusion and alarm. He reaches out towards Bucky, but Bucky grabs Gale around the waist and sweeps him off his feet, spinning him around in a circle. Gale can’t help but laugh as he’s swung through the air, eyes locked right on Bucky. When his feet hit the ground again, the gymnast is tugging at his hand, and he follows, stumbling a bit to catch up. They run together, laughing, back towards Curt, and Bucky blows a kiss at the camera before the video cuts off. 

The title is Meeting the love of your life at the Paris Olympics

—

“Buck!” 

Gale looks up from his phone to see Bucky walking up to him, phone in hand and already recording. Last Gale checked, Bucky was going to get a second coffee, but that plan seems to have gone by the wayside somewhere between leaving two minutes ago to stare at the menu and coming back now. 

“The world wants to know what pins you have and what you still need so they can get them to you.”

Gale laughs with a sweet little smile and sips his coffee. They’re sitting at one of the cafes in the village early in the morning, and Gale’s hair is still a bit messy from sleep (Bucky totally started recording now for that very reason – everyone loves it, including him). Gale pulls his lanyard up over his head and lays it down on the table.

“Holy shit, Buck,” Bucky laughs. Bucky, the charismatic and hot-as-hell men’s gymnastics all-around gold medalist, is a popular figure in the village. He talks to just about every single person he comes across and makes friends everywhere he goes, but not even he has as many pins as Gale. “You need another lanyard! How’d you even get this many?”

“Dunno,” Gale shrugs. “People just come up to me.” Bucky is going to point out the fact that it’s because everyone thinks he’s hot and wants to talk to him. But before he can, Gale is proudly showing his favorite pins, including the Dominican Republic, Fiji, Mexico, Costa Rica, Australia, China, and of course, the Beacon the Good Boy pin.

“Oh that one’s nice,” Bucky says, pointing to the pin from Puerto Rico. As he scans over the others, he stops with a finger on one of the most infamous pins of the games. “How the fuck did you get Snoop Dogg’s?”

Gale glances up at him, like it’s obvious. “Bumped into him at dressage finals.”

“Of course you did.”

“He came by the stables after and I introduced him to Whiskey.” Bucky’s speechless. But Gale glosses over that fact like it’s completely not a big deal at all and continues talking about the pins.

“I’m still lookin’ for Sri Lanka, les Seychelles, Hong Kong, Tanzania…”

Bucky shifts the camera to himself. “He really wants the Tanzania one, guys,” he says. “He won’t stop talkin’ about it.”

“It has a giraffe,” Gale mutters, still looking through his pins to identify which he’s missing that he still wants. “Oh, Tonga.”

Bucky laughs. “Hear that, guys? Buck and Tonga Man, the crossover this world needs. Let’s make it happen!”

Somehow, Gale finds himself running into an athlete from each of those countries within the next 24 hours alone, and he proudly adds the pins to his collection. The world even gets a picture of him and Tonga Man together, looking very seriously at the camera as they hold up their pin-filled lanyards.

Afterwards, Bucky grabs the lanyard around Gale’s neck and pulls him close. “Now stop flirting with other hot men and kiss me instead.”

“I’m not flirting,” Gale protests. But Bucky’s lips are on his before he can say anything else.

[didishawn]

hii I have a request

Pedri and the reader are besties and people think they’re dating but they’re not but they secretly like eachother and one day they're like playing fight and they end up having sex and later they confess that they like eachother and they end up dating fr😙

Just best "friends" (Pedri x Reader) smut

Warnings: smut, lots of Spanish, best friends to lovers, play fighting

Masterlist

There has always been some speculation on between your relationship with Pedri, fans don't seem to grasp to the idea that only because most of the time you are together, you go to his matches wearing his shirts, his family see you as one of their own, doesn't mean you are together.

Yeah, you and Pedri are basically attached to the hip, but that doesn't mean anything really.

Yeah, there are lots of photos going around internet of you two cuddling together, his face buried on your neck, the two of you smiling, giggling.

Videos of the two of you are fan favorites, out partying dancing against one another, never anyone else, going out on what other say to be "date material", they are not really, only having dinner in awesome restaurants, a trip for your birthday or movie nights.

There was also that one moment back on the World Cup that had the internet on fire, when some journalist asked Pedri about his relationship status, there were no mentions of your name, yet when Pedri confirmed to be one hundred percent single, one comment had everyone going wild.

"No, no, yo no estoy saliendo con nadie, pero eso no significa que yo no quiera, porque querer quiero, otra cosa es ella. Pero claro, ambos somos muy jóvenes y obvio pasa lo que pasa" (no, no, I am not dating anyone, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to, because I do want to, something different is what she wants. But of course, we are still very young and whatever happens, will happen)

Pedri didn't te you who te girl was when you asked him, and part of you didn't want to know, so you never asked him again.

It's another lazy day for Pedri and you, laying around by the pool, taking chance of the little sun there is, you tan while he is next to you doing god knows what.

He is pouting, after you told him you can be cuddling or your tan would come out weird, he stares at you as you calmly watch TikToks on your phone.

He doesn't like it when you ignore him, you could at least be chatting with him, about anything really, he just likes your attention on him.

He looks you up and down on your bikini, and he thanks whatever is up there for the warm weather, because you truly look amazing -he doesn't know that the only reason you are on your phone so much is to stop checking him out so much, your eyes can't stop drifting to him when the whore rolls up his swimsuit like that to make it shorter.

He is bored -more like of he keeps on staring he will get a boner- the idea strucks his mind and in the very next moment he has rolled on top of you, his chest to your back as you curse him out while he tries to watch whatever you are.

"A ver que estás viendo tan importante para ignorar a tu mejor amigo" he calls out, hand grabbing into the phone as your head spins to watch him, frowning and unbelieving of his schemingans. (let's see what you are watching that it's so important to ignore your best friend)

"Pará tarado, de verdad, que pareces un niño siempre queriendo llamar la atención" you roll your eyes, hand snapping back the phone and hiding it into your chest "Y quítate de encima que pesas" (stop you idiot, seriously, you are like a child always wanting attention. And get off me that you weight a lot)

Pedri pouts, mockingly of course as he sits up -still on top of you-trying to ignore the sight of your ass right on his cock, his big hands are on your waist, making you squirm instantly as he knows they are your soft spot, -if any paparazzi was watching they would have struck gold with the position the two of you are in- he tickles a bit, teasing you, he lifts his own hips a bit so you ass stops grinding against his cock, before without notice spinning you around, so you are face to face with him and that grin of his.

"¿Lo hacemos por las buenas o por las malas?" he asked, eyebrow quirked as he observes you, your hands are tight against your breasts and you eyes, big and round, stare up to him. (do we do it the good way or the bad way?)

You shake your head, lips tightening to stop the smile from showing up, but he knows, he always does, he knows you better than anyone else.

He grins, hands on your waist again as he goes back to tickling you, he has you squirming around, cheeks red and eyes shiny as you look at him, begging him to stop, yet you don't let go off the phone.

"Vale, vale, ten el teléfono" you shout, letting go off the device, giving it to him, but he doesn't keep it only looking at it for a second before putting it on the floor "¿Pero que haces?" (ok, ok, have the phone. But what are you doing?)

His eyes are soft and his smile is gentle as he cuddles into you, his head on your neck just above your breasts, body hugging into yours.

"Vas a hacer que de me quede el bronceado raro" (you are going to make me have a weird tan)

"Pues tendremos un bronceado raro juntos" (then we will have a weird tan together)

He hums, happy with himself and comfortable, you? Not so much, the boy isn't the heaviest but sure feels like it, the sun hits you straight on the face and you are not wearing your glasses anymore. It has you squirming, Pedri's eyes shooting open instantly, a panicked look on them.

"Para" he says. (stop)

You hum, yet move again, trying to get on your side.

"Párate por favor" (please stop)

You nod, yet think you can get away with finishing your mission, but when you are about to move again, his hands on your waist still you, keeping you in place as you hear the boy breathing deeply.

"¿Pedri? ¿Estás-?" you don't finish your sentence when you feel it. (are you-?)

Pedri's bulge is against your thigh, it feels heavy, thick and long, your eyes finally are on his face, he is too embarrassed to meet your gaze, as his cheeks are red, cursing under his breath.

"Lo siento" he finally says, getting off you and pacing around -you finally see his boner and it's just as big as you had felt "No se que ha pasado, bueno, si que se que ha pasado, pero no quería que pasara, al menos no así" (I am sorry. I don't know what happened, well, I do know what happened but I didn't want it to happen, at least not like this)

"Pedri, todo está bien-" (Pedri, it's all ok-)

"¿Como va a estar todo bien si hace un minuto estaba mi polla dura contra ti?" (how it's all gonna be good when a minute ago my hard cock was against you?)

"Pero que ya está, Pepi de verdad, que no pasa nada, que es normal si yo sin querer te estaba causando fricción con mi pierna" (but that's it, Pepi seriously, it's all ok, it's normal when I was causing you friction with my leg)

"Es que ese es el problema, no era la fricción" (that's the problem, it wasn't the friction)

"¿Entonces que?" (then what?)

"¿De verdad me vas a hacer que lo diga?" you nod "y/n, mi polla ha estado dura desde el primer momento que has salido con ese bikini, dios, no sabes lo bien que te queda" (you really are gonna make me say it? Y/n, my cock has been hard since the moment you came out wearing that bikini, God, you hace no idea how good it looks on you)

He continues on rambling "Y ahora por mis putas hormonas voy a perder a mi mejor amiga porque no me vas a querer volver a ver la cara porque soy un gilipollas y..." (and now because of my fucking hormones I will lose my best friend because you won't want to look at my face ever again, because I am an asshole and...)

You stand up, and he looks at you confused, panicked even, he didn't really think you would just up and leave "¿A donde vas?" (where are you going?)

You are shy when you answer, don't dare to look at him "Bueno, no vamos a solucionar tu problemita acá, ¿no?" (well, we are not going to fix your little problem here, are we?)

You are both on Pedri's bed before you can realise it, your top off, the boy hadn't wasted a moment before picking you up and walking you through the long corridors of his home, lips on yours as he made sure not to kill you both as he walked up the stairs.

He is grinding into you, desperate, both of you are, none of you have said it yet, but you have dreamed about this for years.

He separates his lips from yours, brown eyes on yours, the midfielder looks at you as if you were the most precious thing he has ever seen -you are.

"No quiero esperar más, te necesito dentro mio" you tell him, and while he would have given anything to taste you, he needs to feel you. (I don't want to wait anymore, I need you inside me)

He nods. Hand reaches down to pull his swimsuit down, cock bouncing out, tip ouncing precum as he strokes himself, he doesn't wait a second either to pull your bottom down and slamming inside you.

The pace is fast, yet not rough, passionate, he reaches deeper than anyone ever has. His tip kisses your cervix, body moving in perfect sincrony with yours, he hasn't ever touched you this way, yet everything feels as if he knows your body to perfection.

He knows you the best, it's no surprise he knows how to fuck you so well, fingers teasing your clit, you'd nails digging to his back, sound of moans and skin slapping fill the room.

One hand moves you however he likes it, his lips are on yours, they don't move away even when your moans into his mouth get louder, you are close, he can feel it in how you tighten around him.

He is close too, his balls tighten, he is too sensitive, it's been way too long since he has done this, he couldn't imagine being with anyone who wasn't you.

The pace is rougher, more irregular too, his tummy tightens, so does yours.

You separate, he wants to see your face as you cum, he adores the angelic expression yoou have, eyebrows raising as your mouth opens on a long moan, high, whining as you tremble against him.

It pushes him I've the edge too, last few thrusts as he fills you up, he groans, also sensitive, he falls into you, face buried in between your breasts, kisses placed on them.

The two of you are breathing deeply, your hands on his hair as you caress him, both of you coming down from your highs.

He finally looks up at you, your eyes on each other, he takes a deep breath.

"No quiero que esto sea cosa de una vez. Después de esperar tanto por tenerte, no puedo estar otra vez sin ti" (I don't want this to be a one time thing. After waiting do much to have you, I can't be without you again)

"¿Qué pasó con la chica? La de la entrevista" (what about the girl? the one you talked about in the interview)

He laughs, unbelieving "Pensaba estaba claro tú eras la chica" (I thought it was clear you are the girl)

"Entonces, tú.." (so, you...)

"Me gustas, siempre me has gustado, estoy seguro de que te amo incluso, tú eres con la que quiero estar, siempre ha sido así" (I like you, I have always liked you, I am sure I love you even, you are the one I want to be with, it's always been this way)

"Yo también quiero estar contigo, Pepi, desde hace demasiado tiempo" (I too want to be with you, Pepi, for so long)

He musters the brightest smile you have ever seen, grinning, he cuddles into you, his new girlfriend.

The internet is sure gonna go wild over this one.

[arienai]

You've heard the Miyazawa memes, now it's time to

Read Otherside Picnic

A post by me

What is it? Otherside Picnic is a book series by Japanese author Iori Miyazawa. They are often called light novels for marketing purposes, but are technically considered "full" science fiction novels. The series is loosely based off of Soviet science fiction novel Roadside Picnic, which itself inspired the film Stalker as well as the video game STALKER.

What is it about? At its core, Otherside Picnic is about two girls who stumble into a weird alternate universe filled with creatures from Japanese internet myths and creepypastas. They go into that world frequently to explore it.

It is primarily a series of novels as I mentioned, however, there are also anime and manga adaptations.

Otherside Picnic is yuri (F/F), explicitly so, however, only the novels have reached this point in the story. If you want canon lesbians, you want to read the novels. I cannot stress this enough.

Okay but what about the characters, are they good? I'm super biased but honestly these are some of the most tumblrina characters I've seen in a while and I'm shocked they aren't more popular.

Sorawo Kamikoshi had a deeply traumatic childhood (though she likes to deny it) and today is a self professed "grumpy otaku" at university who is extremely into spooky shit and creepypastas, which she tends to infodump about. She is very bad at making friends and before discovering the Otherside she often spent her time watching Dark Souls Let's Plays and Minecraft build videos. No, like, canonically. She is a huge loser and I love her so much.

Toriko Nishina was born and raised in Canada with her two lesbian moms but now she's going to university in Japan. She is extremely gay and knows it but is also a complete disaster about it. She has an outgoing personality but struggles to make friends unless she's attaching herself to a new cute girl. I don't want to get too far into spoiler territory but she has a violent streak and has some hot and extremely badass Tiktok Lesbian With an Axe moments.

There are a lot of other great characters too, but you'll have to read to meet them!

And it's explicitly gay, you say? YES, this is a lesbian romance story. Girls hold hands. Girls kiss (with tongue!) Girls ogle other girls' boobs. Apparently the latest volume (not yet available in English) amps it up even more 😳

You're telling me it's literally gay despite being written by the meme "yuri is two wild beasts/a field/etc." Guy? Yes.

Where did the memes come from then? They come from a couple of interviews with Miyazawa where he compared various abstract concepts to yuri. Some of this can be seen in his work, but for the most part it is a straightforward and easy to read lesbian story.

Okay! Where do I read it!: Since they are novels you can find them at many bookstores! You can also buy the ebooks for relatively cheap and read them on your phone.

I hate reading, can't I do the manga/anime? You can if you want but the anime doesn't really go beyond flirty territory with the two girls and the manga is still ongoing and hasn't hit the gay stuff yet. So it's up to you.

Is the series finished? No, it's ongoing. There are currently seven volumes available in English. But we have an extremely dedicated fanbase. Join ussssss you know you want to. Look at these two cuties

Anyway I have so many good things to say about this series, I love the way the main characters are outcasts who come together and help each other learn to love themselves. I love the spooky setting, I love the side characters and of course I love how gay it is, I feel like most weirdo disaster gays on here will find something here to like. And the characters are in their 20's!!! That's still relatively young but it's so nice to read gay stuff about people who are old enough to drink (which they do a lot of).

So yes in closing

Read Otherside Picnic

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Is there anything in taeils chart that could point to him being an awful person?

Oooh- I was so hesitant in wondering whether or not I should respond to this question BUT I'm going too for education purposes because this is a great way of understanding how unhealed/undeveloped/immature zodiac placements manifest in people.

Disclaimer: Before I begin and receive hate comments, pls be mature and understand that this isn't reflective on EVERY person who has these placements AND also this is for funsies and not to be taken srsly. Taeil's decisions are a product of his own free will and free will always surpasses astrological influence. 18+

Placements: Gemini Sun, Leo Moon, Cancer Venus, Taurus Mars ( Rising Sign Unknown)

Sorry to the ppl with Gemini placements watching this but we have another Gemini man bringing shame to the zodiac world.

The benefits of this Sun/Moon duo together is having the ability to use their natural charisma, ability to adapt to different situations, friendly appearance and whimsical sense of humor to bring joy to others around them and to help the underdog/misfits feel included.

I don't know much about Taeil but from what I've seen on Tiktok and X, many people who did bias Taeil biased him because of his talented vocal cords, overall 'sweet' persona and having a 'gentle' demeanour.

But of course, Gemini and Leo are known for being able to 'mask' easily and adapt their personality to the environment around them- it's why they are great placements to have if you're in the entertainment industry.

These zodiac signs typically enjoy giving and receiving a lot of attention from multiple people to satisfy their ego and if unchecked, can develop a god complex honestly.

Taeil's ego might have been so unhinged and inflated he might have thought he could commit these acts and not get caught, purely because he's too smart or too famous to receive the consequences from doing it.

When I see a man with a Leo Moon and a Cancer Venus, this is giving me such mommy's boy energy not going to lie. It's common for men with Leo and/or Cancer placements to grow up with a mother who blew wind up their arse and they could never do anything wrong and their mother coddled and did everything for them.

I don't know if he's a Mommy's boy but it wouldn't surprise me if he is.

And I've just noticed in general, that a large amount of men who grew up being a Mommy's boy or in an emotionally incestuous relationship with their mother (NOT ALL BUT MANY) tend to have a quite derogatory view towards women.

This is mainly because they already have a woman who satiates their psychological, emotional and egotistical needs and so may view other women merely for sexual gratification and that's it.

It's common that men with these placements typically have a conservative/traditional view and opinion towards hetereosexual romantic relationships.

South Korea is a country where the societal norms and standards towards women are very misogynistic, restrictive and sexist (don't argue with me on this, there's a reason why the 4b movement exists) and that Cancer Venus influence means he probably developed these views towards women at a young age.

Which is really sad because majority of ppl who stanned Taeil were women or fem-identifying so unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if...

Taeil stans viewed him as being this 'soft spoken' idol that was respectful and loving towards his fans when in reality...

It's more likely that he saw his fans as nothing more than to satisfy his ego, give him the fame he thinks he deserves and would warm his bed with a single click of a pen.

Again, this is just intrusive thoughts and a random brain rot about how his natal chart could show insight into his wiring and why he made these horrific decisions.

None of this is confirmed, might not even be accurate but hey, you wanted my opinion and so here it is.

And don't be afraid if you know a person or stan another idol who has similar placements because again, a human's greatest gift is free will.

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

I'm going to combine my reply to yours on AO3 with this, but yes, I 100% get it. People can be so rude and unappreciative and I know it's usually not on purpose but it can still be grating. Not very demure, not very mindful 😓

This is a really young fandom (not just in age specifically, but in fandom experience) and I try to remind myself of that all the time. I'm in a place now where I just scroll past in my inbox and barely take in comments like that, but I get how disappointing it can be. We work really hard on these pieces and they genuinely take a lot of our time and energy we could spend doing other things (I haven't read a book in months), so getting responses like that on a labour of love is so grating.

I feel so awkward as a writer who gets it even phrasing "I'd love to see more" in comments. It's very: I want this person to know I loved it so much I want to see more of it, but also: I don't want this person to feel pressured to do it just because I love it, I just want them to know. Even when I commented, I had in the back of my mind how many WIPs you were working on and how stressful that can be holding all of that in your head, but I don't think normal people realise.

It's like you have a million things to do but you've spent all day baking a triple layer cake with filling and frosting and all the toppings and you're exhausted and your feet hurt but you're eagerly watching someone eat the first slice...and they say "nice! have you got any biscuits?" and you're just like???

@justallihere and I always talk about starting a fandom podcast to talk about things like this and educate people and honestly, I think the world needs it. People treat writers like TikTok content creators and that's just not how it works over here.

(Also, I promise we're not girlbossing it, we're bullshitting our way through every minute of every day)

I'm annoyed that this has ruined the excitement of posting a new work for you, you should be able to bask in our shared joy after gifting us something like this. I really loved the work, truly and I can understand the lack of inclination to continue it given the little worldbuilding we've been shown. It certainly doesn't make canon-adjacent fic easy. Love that you don't like Brennan though, or have any desire to write him. He's dodgy as fuck.

As a writer, you can only write what you want to write. If you're not enthusiastic about it or inspired by it, it either won't be written at all, or the magic won't be there. If you can see where it goes but you don't want to write it then you shouldn't.

I'm so grateful for you taking on the prompt in the first place, it was a wonderful gift and the pair of them were everything I could have hoped for—Violet being her prickly self and Xaden still being a self-assured casanova? Delicious. Plus, we love a fic where Violet gets eaten out in the wilderness 😉 Welcome to the club! Should we create a 'cunnilingus in the wilderness' tag for this fandom?

You put so much thought into this whole world and it's absolutely, truly appreciated by those who matter and understand how hard the process is and what a gift it is—thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏

Amy!!! You are so lovely, thank YOU. I get you 100000% and I didn’t feel pressured by you whatsoever. I definitely agree that people who aren’t writers just don’t get it. I got a comment this morning that was like I’d read 200k more of this, and it’s like, someone has to WRITE 200k more of it then. Two hundred thousand words are not going to fall out of the sky just because you’d like to read them. But I digress!!! There’s been a lot of joy in it too, especially in discussing the backstory with everyone. If you and Alli had a podcast I think I would go a little insane!

I personally am just not huge on writing Brennan when he’s alive because he makes NO SENSE. I feel slightly similar about the Fen & Xaden dynamic. I just prefer to write him being dead for that reason.

Again, I’m so so SO glad you specifically enjoyed the fic!! I thought about you a lot while writing it, so I’m glad that paid off.

Cunnilingus In The Wildnerness Tag!!! Absolutely. I am honored to join the club .

This made me very happy, and definitely helped me feel better about things + my reaction to them. Thank you.

[foxes-that-run]

But Daddy I Love Him

Daddy I love him is an Ariel quote, when Ariel gives up her voice for love. Taylor has given up love for her voice (career), but also not spoken up for what she wants most. But Daddy I Love Him is a continuation of a theme of how fame and fandoms have affected Taylor's personal life. What I love about this song is it sounds like an older Taylor Swift song, she embraces a country sound and speaks her mind.

While the parallels to the reaction to a relationship in May 2023 can be seen, this overlooks much of her experience with this behaviour. I don't mean to say it is not an element, but it is far from a complete story to say it is about ending a 3 week relationship with someone about whom she also said "And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive" on the same record.

In her NYU Graduation address in May 2022 Taylor had part of the concept in this already swirling in her mind, a full year before she dated Matty Healy:

Having journalists write in-depth, oftentimes critical, pieces about who they perceive me to be made me feel like I was living in some weird simulation, but it also made me look inward to learn about who I actually am. Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely. Being publicly humiliated over and over again at a young age was excruciatingly painful but it forced me to devalue the ridiculous notion of minute by minute, ever fluctuating social relevance and likability. 

What Taylor is referring to is the treatment by the media and fandoms throughout her career, but this was never more of an issue than 2012-2014. Nothing is a terrifying as a teenager on fledgeling social media. This TikTok creator describes it perfectly:

From tabloids, twitter, tumblr, even people who looked like Taylor were abused.

So yes, Harry has had and worn t-Shirt with the song title for years, and yes they have both dressed up as Ariel. But that is not all that makes this song about Taylor loosing her love over fan behaviour... it's because she did. She lost the love she wrote 1989 including "This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark"  about. And it continues today, there are a lot of people who still call Harry's partners vile names and think it is OK to treat others poorly because they suggest he could care for someone. I think anyone who's read this far knows exactly what I mean, probably first hand.

This affected Taylor the point the Clean Speeches on the 1989 Tour were on this topic, every night she talked about bullying, self worth and holding onto love.

The 'Daddy' is not just the fans and media, but probably her team also. I think the varied shapes in the CDs are to show this comes in many forms and roles, not just one experience. As Taylor said to Rolling Stone in 2014 before 1989 was released:

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I forget how the West was won I forget if this was ever fun I just learned these people only raise you To cage you Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best Clutching their pearls, sighing, “What a mess” I just learned these people try and save you ‘Cause they hate you

For the international fans like myself 'How the West was Won' is a 1960's film about American colonisation. I think the opening 2 lines do 2 things, place us in a country setting and also tell us Taylor cares more about speaking her mind than what may be higher bigger goals.

The second half of this verse goes on to set out that it is fans who are approaching her love lost as trauma porn, and I am here for it.

I also note the cage reference, Taylor (and Harry) have a long theme of being caged or trapped by fame, she has a literal cage in her Nashville apartment, he has a cage tattoo and they have used cage, glass boxes, fishbowls, snowglobe imagery. Here she points out the fans are not really there for her, they are seeking to control her.

[Pre-Chorus 1] Too high a horse for a simple girl To rise above it They slammed the door on my whole world The one thing I wanted

The pre-chorus furthers that the final straw has been broken, she's been cornered by fans to give up something she cares for.

Vigante Shit "Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun /The lady simply had enough"

Is It Over Now? "I was hoping you’d be there and say the one thing I’ve been wanting, but no"

That is the only time Taylor has sung about ‘wanting one thing' before. This also reminds me of the Delicate Behind the Scenes, where she said she got a note from a lover and wants to be with him but realises 'it can never be him'

[Chorus] Now I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Scrеaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through thе fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

In the chorus Taylor acts out a churlish child yelling at a father. The 'daddy' is many roles, her actual parents, fans, media and probably record company and PR people who told her she could be with the one she loved, throughout her life. She says the matching line to Harry's Kiwi, which has the same meaning.

Taylor 'floors it through the fences, fed up and unwilling to listen. This is great imagery, to break through fences, and also as metaphorical fences that have been placed around what considered acceptable for her. Cars are also a Haylor theme, including Run below and often used as a metaphor for their love escaping as it is here. (All I know is that you drove us off the road / Let’s get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds)

Is It Over Now?: Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Run: And my so-called friends, they don’t know I’d drive away before I let you go

In Kiwi Harry yells a tabloid line followed with it's none of your business. In his Harry's House ONO complete with pointing at the camera and crowd. Taylor also referenced these same tabloids headlines in the Reputation magazine.

Kiwi "I'm having your baby / It's none of your business"

[Verse 2] Dutiful daughter, all my plans were laid Tendrils tucked into a woven braid Growing up precocious sometimes means Not growing up at all He was chaos, he was revelry Bedroom eyes like a remedy Soon enough, the elders had convened Down at the city hall

In the second verse Taylor establishes that she has gone everything asked of her:

Style - "I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt"

Style - "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Yet is denied freedom and the elders decree the match is unsuitable. I think the elders are her team. She describes the muse as chaos and revelry. This is very reminiscent of the I Knew You Were Trouble introduction poem, but while in 2012 Taylor was contrite and said it was too much she now revels in the revelry:

"And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again, but I don't know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him it was losing me"

[Pre-Chorus 2] “Stay away from her” The saboteurs protested too much Lord knows the words we never heard Just screeching tires and true love

The 'daddy' has now forbidden the love, this is reminiscent of Love Story: "And my daddy said, “Stay away from Juliet”

[Chorus] And I’m running with my dress unbuttoned Screaming, “But, Daddy, I love him I’m having his baby” No, I’m not, but you should see your faces I’m telling him to floor it through the fences No, I’m not coming to my senses I know he’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

'Crazy' and Madness are a Haylor theme, particularly in the Blank Space music video, and these lyrics

Wonderland "And in the end, in Wonderland, we both went mad"

Kiwi "She's driving me crazy, but I'm into it (Oh) and "It's getting crazy, I think I'm losing it, I think I'm losing it"

But many more songs:

[Post-Chorus 1] I’ll tell you something right now I’d rather burn my whole life down Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning I’ll tell you something ’bout my good name It’s mine alone to disgrace I don’t cater to all these vipers dressed in empath’s clothing

I love the last line, vipers dressed in empaths clothing, that is exactly what they are.

[Bridge] God save the most judgmental creeps Who say they want what’s best for me Sanctimoniously performing soliloquies I’ll never see Thinking it can change the beat Of my heart when he touches me And counteract the chemistry And undo the destiny You ain’t gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy If all you want is gray for me Then it’s just white noise, and it’s just my choice

The only time Taylor has described someone as wild in lyrics is in Style "So it goes, he can’t keep his wild eyes on the road"

Afterglow "Chemistry until it blows up"

I love the end of the bridge, elsewhere on the record Taylor describes her long term relationship as grey, staid and boring. For many years some fans have shoehorned this person into lyrics because they want to see themselves in her, as they settle down they want her too. From my point of view some rather loud warning signs in songs were overlooked, or seen as 'she's remembering the past/when they first got together' to avoid accepting she was unhappy and wanted out.

Out of the Woods "The rest of the world was black and white But we were in screaming color"

[Verse 3] There’s a lot of people in town that I Bestow upon my fakest smiles Scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer We came back when the heat died down Went to my parents and they came around All the wine moms are still holding out But fuck ’em, it’s over

This verse is where I think it becomes clear than the 2023 lens is at best reminding Taylor of a past love, because that relationship never came back. Matty has said they never dated in 2014, there was no controversy around her attending concerts then. They dated for a few weeks then stopped talking, and of story.

However Harry and Taylor did sing about a hidden relationship for years. In fact Taylor wasn't connected to anyone else in a serious way for three years. In particular

Wildest Dreams: I said, “No one has to know what we do”

This Love "This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh"

I know places : "Somethin' happens when everybody finds out / See the vultures circling, dark clouds" and "we're bulletproof I know places (Hide) and you know for me, it's always you"

…Ready For It?: "Island breeze and lights down low, no one has to know"

I Know Places TV's lyric video for got a very TTPD themed look.

[Final Chorus] Now I’m dancing in my dress in the sun and Even my daddy just loves him I’m his lady And, oh, my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? And, no, you can’t come to the wedding I know it’s crazy, but he’s the one I want

Taylor is asking her fans, parents, media if they have grown up, from when they were teenagers playing with her real life, do they have perspective and willing to accept that she loves someone of her choosing?

And no, they can't come to the wedding, but I bet they have Eras Tour tickets.... and some showed up at Jacks.

[a-very-tired-jew]

Remember when I said age is a factor regarding how informed a person is? About how life experience, world experience, education, and biology all play a role in how you process information and come to conclusions? https://www.tumblr.com/a-very-tired-jew/746376840485257216/youre-not-as-informed-as-you-think-and-age-does?source=share Well I have seen some token "Good Jews" exhibiting this exact thing as of today (04/20/2024).

Fig. 1. User (Early 20s) claims Zionism is antisemitic, repeats Bund talking points, and repeats the genocide claim.

Fig. 2. Same user says they needed to deprogram from indoctrination.

Fig. 3. Same user as above claims elder Jews (read: Jews that are older than them) are indoctrinated. These are the most egregious examples that this Good Jew has with another Good Jew in this particular discord (you know which one). What we see in Figure 1 is the same Bundian philosophy that got Jews betrayed and killed in the USSR. It's the same philosophy that we have tried over and over again with the same results: Jews tortured, killed, and exiled by the larger goy communities we thought we were accepted in. I would hazard a guess that this young person is not aware of the Dreyfus Affair or other issues in "Liberal" societies that led to Zionism.

In Figure 3 this same person states that older Jews are indoctrinated and in Figure 2 states that they needed to "deprogram" from their "indoctrination". They posit that the reason young Jews are anti-Zionist is because they haven't been indoctrinated yet and/or have deprogrammed themselves from their childhood. However...this is typical teen/young adult behavior where they're "Fighting the narrative" and lashing out at the perceived "status quo of indoctrination". I've heard these words for years, hell I said them myself. But because this person is under 25, around 22/23 from my understanding, they simply don't have the experience or education to really understand what they're talking about. Yes they are Jewish. But the points I made about age in my other post still stand. The likelihood that they have the world and life experience is very slim. Add in that they use inflammatory language that is often associated with the current batch of young antisemitic activists and...well...you get the picture. But let's talk about the greater implication here. This is one glaring example in a discord. There are more throughout our own community. There are young Jews who are screaming at their elders and repeating talking points that they heard on tiktok, social media, and at protests*. The very same protests where they will hear chants of "Gas the Jews", "Hitler was right!", and so on. At what point do they realize that even if they care for innocent lives (which I have yet to see anyone besides outright racists and bigots call for actual genocide) that allying themselves with antisemites who would kill them in an instant is a bad idea? In part, I think it has to do with Westerners distrusting their Democratic governments as we have seen them repeatedly drop the ball on issues. They yearn for a revolution against the status quo because the future is bleak (and trust me, as an ecologist I understand climate anxiety and as a millennial I understand that and so much of the other shit too). But this yearning to have meaningful change in their own country has been coopted by terrorist organizations bent on killing Jews. That energy around positive activism and meaningful change has been manipulated by an organization that has been caught on tape saying they would manipulate these very people to bring about their violent intent. And here's the thing...many of us elders have gone through that very same phase of rhetoric. I remember being an edgy anti-Zionist myself when I was a teen and young adult (I was of the Bundian philosophy as well, and yes I had grown up Reconstructionist, there's a lot to unpack there for a later time). I remember thinking my elders were brainwashed and just scoffing at their retorts. I remember thinking that they had just fallen for the propaganda and needed to open their eyes. As I got older and became more educated, as well as had more world experiences and reached certain biological milestones, my views changed. Not because I became more conservative, but because I was no longer an emotional, hormonally driven young adult who thought they knew more than others. There's a saying in academia that goes something like "In undergrad you think you know everything, in masters you realize you were woefully uninformed, and in your doctorate you realize you don't know shit about anything." But if you tell them that, they just say it's Hasbara (propaganda) because those same orgs have told them it is. Only hindsight and time will let them go beyond their surface level reactionary reasoning and see the bigger picture. They think they've been deprogrammed, but in reality they've fallen for a different manipulation that will use their good intentions to do harm.

*This is reminiscent of young LGBTQ+ behavior where the young queer kids are yelling at their elders, telling them they don't understand, and the elders are warning them about something dangerous. The youngins then come back and cry "why didn't you warn us?" to which they respond "you didn't listen".

[eowynstwin]

What's your opinion on how Price interpreted? Besides the idea that everyone thinks he's geriatric in comparison to the other 141 members despite basically being the same age, what do you think the fandom or people in general don't understand about him?

Hmm, good question!!

I've managed to find some great blogs to follow who really understand Price (looking at you @391780 and @ceilidho), so I'm not really in the know about how the general fandom interprets him these days.

I do know that outside of my bubble people treat him like he's in his 60s rather than his 40s, and I attribute that less to poor understanding of his character and more to younger fans being younger fans. People approaching 20, and just starting their 20s, don't have a good grasp of what constitutes old age (not helped by tiktok mind you), so that's my thought on that.

But in general, I think a lot of common interpretations of his character really work. He vibes far more as a husband rather than a boyfriend, and overall prefers emotional attachments over casual. He has a traditional sort of masculinity that rarely veers toward the toxic, because in his line of work good communication has been hammered into his skull. Conflict with him will stem from him trying to protect you from the shit he deals with, even if sharing the burden of it with you would help you both to feel more secure in your relationship.

I think most people see him as a very dominant sort, and I really agree with that too, because I view him as a caretaker who also feels a lot of relief at being in control. He has very little control in his line of work--he's often responding, in fact, to circumstances that have gone sideways due to being distinctly out of his control--and he likes being able to have something go a certain way because he directs it that way.

I've seen several people attribute some domestic trauma to him, too, and I enjoy that idea very much. Young John Price going into special forces immediately out of high school to escape a brutal father, and always trying to make up for not protecting his mother by treating his female partners like queens. Price lives with one foot in the past and has trouble conceiving of the future past the next few months, because growing up for him meant enduring life literally moment to moment. He's trying to fix the whole world because he's always known it's been broken.

[ididdedurmom]

Quick break from our usual program:

Hey guys!! Friendly reminder, millions of people are still living in unlivable conditions to try and stay alive during a genocide. Women, children, the sick, the elderly, etc. Nobody trapped in Palestine is safe. Please do anything you can to support them, even if you can't donate. Everyone deserves safety. No one is free until we are all free. All of their lives matter, many of them are young, with bright futures ahead of them, why should their lives be cut short?

There are also other countries in the world undergoing horrible crisis's, such as Congo and Sudan. Never forget what's happening in our world. Never forget the lives we are losing, and the history that is being made. Every life means something, no matter how small, no matter where they came from, and no matter who they are. Each and every one deserves justice and freedom.

If you don't know what's happening in these places, I recommend taking some time and doing some research, there are a lot of tiktoks that describe the tragedies happening in these places. There are also a lot of tiktoks with links to GoFundMe campaigns and organizations you can donate to if you have the means. I'm sure you will also be able to find posts like these on Tumblr. Please pay attention to them. Don't let history sweep these lost lives under the rug, show your support.

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