#thepoettwice

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

06.02.18. pt. 5, final entry

i showed u the unabridged version of me and offered to share the ending only u skimmed the footnotes and decided to find another book

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

may. 29. 2018.

you have an alternate reality if you think that what you were doing was loving me

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

June 26, 2018

it is impressive

for a forward to take hold of the ball at midfield

and dribble on solo to score

ultimately

a coach is more impressed

in the struggle to pass to teammates

through obstacles and find novel tactics, win or lose

the key is not in scoring the most points

but in learning to improve ones own skills through collaboration, perseverance, and hard work

most important is implementing those lessons learned

in the game: of soccer, and life

confidence in others and teamwork to reach a final goal

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

06.02.18. pt. 4

u electrified my heart

then left

what do i do w the ashes

u won in your way

least damage taken

i won in my way

most effort given

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

“always”

always happiest with you so near always feel safe, never feel fear always every place i will want to go always your hand in mine, never want to say no always thoughts of you swim 'round in my head always knew i would and will always love you, never a word even needing to be said

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

05.28.17

My love for her is unceasing Its invisibility ever flowing and radiating out of every single, lucky pore of my body Yet it is visible In the oddly timed, toothy smile during the most random of tasks, brought on by a recalled memory: The thousands we've shared together already And the billions we have yet to, only to fantasize about now in imaginative detail; Visible through the pastel colored sticky notes that decorate my walls, addressed to "the love of my life," signatured with her initials. A crooked smile that cracks from the right corner of my mouth, attempts to hold it back lost, when my eyes fall upon hers and notice that, once more, in less than a quarter of an hour, they have changed color They always do, her eyes. From a deep, warm caramel, to hazel, streaked with dark browns and lemonade yellow, to the color of the brackish water-filled bay of Dauphin Island, to the icy, aquamarine blues of very distant glaciers. These eyes, almost as mysterious as herself, draw me in effortlessly, only for me to sit there longingly, in wonderful bewilderment, that God allowed such a beautiful example of his creation to be seen by my undeserving, sinful eyes. Never shall I nor can I be bored or unsatisfied with such a woman within my midst. Her beauty and presence are far too captivating.

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

September 25, 2017

A note from “not-mine truly”

To Do:

Finish Lab Report

Kiss gf

Golf with gf

Work out with gf

Sleep with gf

Cuddle with gf

Eat with gf

Also follow cool schedule gf made

Gf loves you very much ! <3

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

06.02.18. pt. 3

para sympathetic i wish u were sympathetic

who thought i’d be the more mature one. not u

sorry i got drunk and made u hold me

made myself a martyr for u

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

06.02.18. pt. 2

this world could never contain the love we had

we’d say,

i love you to the top of Gods head and back

maybe you loved me infinite times over

only, i loved you that much, twice

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

06.02.18.

i’ll move on when i stop breathing

but i’m not making any promises not that those matter to you

every morning: regret the liquor didn’t work the drugs didn’t work

every day; every night: regret why didn’t we work?

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

to the top of God’s head and back

to the top of God’s head and back

twice. 

You stitched me up You loved my scars You filled my heart with your love

you took it back i’ll try to heal you say there’s hope you’ll fill it back but How much scarring can one heart handle 

i’m broken

May Twenty-First, Two-Thousand and Eighteen at Three O’Nine P.M.

[holdondontreadthelastpage]

To borrow

July 22, 2017

Eyes that reflect hidden worries,

arms that sing songs of past sorrows.

Walls constructed in her maze of a mind,

but her heart is mine to borrow.

From the Creator, that is,

who split our soul in two with care.

Instilling immense strength of character in hers,

and perseverance, something we share.

Never have I had such confidence

about any one person or thing,

emotionally, logically, or spiritually.

But that I was made for her, and she for me.

Lord, I thank You for every day

You’ve allowed me to witness to the beauty of her heart.

Still I, unworthy of Your sacrifice,

will try my utmost best to do my little part.

Your most underrated creation,

I feel important to just to know her name.

But to love her, and keep her warm at night,

My God, I will forever sing Your praise.

I pledge to wrap myself around her heart,

protect it from dangers and wrongs.

All she will know will be safety and peace.

Pain will be a word from her memories long gone.

I swear to love her, though I, undeserving

of her great grace and bold bravery.

I swear to love her until my dying days,

until we meet at Your gates, hand in hand, still loving her unconditionally.