#theories or overthinking? who knows

[mybelovedstarlings]

Eternal-Related Theories

Murdoc, Proleus, & The Ulfrangar

So... Murdoc has just been chosen for the position of Proleus' Paladin, as his personal warrior and spokesperson. Proleus is a god of war and supposedly had some kind of warrior group training to become his paladin/serving him as best they could. (The warrior group's existence is evidenced by the temple complex in Aular, which contained living quarters and training grounds, and it was directly stated that there might have been a 'sacred order' living there.) Murdoc's entry into the temple complex is accompanied with an almost immediate feeling of being watched, as he says multiple times. Later, when he is chosen by Proleus, there was little to no hesitation in removing Jaevid, Isandri, Garnett, and Roxus from the Proving Grounds. Isandri states earlier that Proleus values mental and emotional control along with physical prowess. This makes Proleus choosing him a lot more suspicious, because while Murdoc was very well trained, the others are all very powerful and knowledgeable. However, Murdoc was trained by the Ulfrangar, an ancient, powerful, organization known to be the best trained in the world. Proleus also had/has a group of powerful warriors who served him. He's a god of war, so it would make sense if an organization started by him was so powerful. With that in mind, it isn't hard to draw the conclusion that the Ulfrangar were or are Proleus' chosen warriors, with the Zuer as his spokesperson. This would make Murdoc the current Zuer, by rights (and divine power) alone. Despite his status as a former Ulfrangar assassin, he has technically become their leader and re-integrated himself into their world, this time by choice.

Reigh, Maylea, Clysiros, & The Zenith's Call

So Reigh has finally decided to try and make a deal with Clysiros, (risking his sanity again) to try and even the odds between Auguress Riva and their little team. We also know that he made a very dangerous deal with the Zenith's Call (whose motives are mostly unknown) that is very likely to put everyone at risk and might end in betrayals. Maylea is also trapped in the crossfire of this situation, and Reigh is trying his best to protect her and make sure she doesn't have the same traumatizing experiences he did, (going out into the world, being kidnapped, tortured, and experimented on at 17, and then proceeding to suffer in silence after that for 14 years,) and that there's someone there to keep her safe. He's struggling with making sure she doesn't end up like him, which is understandable. (He's miserable, goddammit.) (His attempts at protecting her might be some kind of twisted form of projecting? I guess he sees her situation as a parallel to his own and desperately wants to try and fix his own problems by helping her. Maybe he thinks he'll be able to forgive himself for everything if he makes sure that she doesn't get hurt. He does seem to think that if he can't help people, he isn't a good person.)

Clarke, Avgior, Arlan, & Sadeera

Clarke has been revealed to be Avgior's reincarnation, and has also regained some of his memories by visiting the dragon god's corpse. He is now capable of using some of his former powers, and was able to fight Sadeera head on and survive, which is quite the feat. However, with those memories and powers comes the revelation that Avgior was murdered by a mortal man. When Sadeera attacks Clarke, Noa & Traegan, she has the weapon that killed Avgior, and even uses it to take some of Clarke's blood for a ritual. (Dragon blood is very powerful in rituals, according to Edarix... what would a dragon god's blood do??) Why does she have it? Many centuries ago, Arlan was apparently banished from his homeland of Avora, and whatever event happened before said exile caused him to have nothing but utter contempt for his sister Sadeera. From what Arlan has said, an Avoran elf leaving their home is equivalent to cutting off their very life force, causing them to slowly dwindle away until they are a mere husk compared to the near godlike beings they were before. This would imply that exile is a very serious punishment. What could he have done that was so serious he got kicked out? What about killing a god? Avgior was felled by a mortal man. Arlan was exiled a very long time ago for a crime so serious his people decided to force him to basically cut off his own semi-divinity and live as a regular mortal. (Somewhat) Sadeera, as his sister, would have had access to anything he did, right? It would have been easy for her to take the knife. The only question remaining is why she would want to have it, and that also raises another question; why does she want to become an all-powerful goddess so badly? She seems to have some kind of grudge ("curses only last as long as the gods who inflict them") against the divine, perhaps this is leading her on? So Arlan was exiled for the crime of killing the god of fate and discernment, but did he actually do it? Could Sadeera have framed him? How will Clarke deal with this?

Maylea

Her journey in general has been a thematic parallel to so. many. other. arcs.

Running away to try and help save the world? Jaevid and Reigh both did that, with varying degrees of success. Connecting to a god's powers and doing crazy stuff with it? You can bet someone else she knows has done that too. Currently, much like her uncle, she stands in the shadows of all the men and women who came before her. However, as she is trying so desperately to prove, she is not her father. Maylea is a person all on her own, trying to make a legacy for herself. Her determination to rescue Ronan by sneaking onto the ship, contacting Paligno, and freeing the dragon in the Caldera, is her way of doing that. So far, I'd say she's doing amazing at it, and watching her grow into the capable dragonrider she was meant to be, especially with the final book coming up in a few months, will be captivating. Maylea will no doubt play an important role in rescuing Ronan. Saving him was her goal for coming here, and she won't let that idea go. She will most likely be the person who reaches out to him and sets him free in his darkest hour.

Jaevid, Generational Trauma, & Destiny

So far, Jaevid is having what will probably be the biggest existential crisis he'll ever have in his entire life. His children are being dragged into a war with gods, by the same divinity that started his journey no less, and all he can do is watch. This is the same thing that happened to him during the Gray War, and it probably torments him to know what comes after the wars and divine relations. To know that kind of thing might very well be happening to his kids. So he left home and went to Nar'Haleen to try and stop it, or at the very least lessen the damage. This, as has been proven somewhat by previous books, is probably not a good idea. Jaevid's tale of heroism was not a very happy one. He knows that, and is very clearly trying his best to make sure his kids can have what he didn't. (I'm sensing a theme here...) Paligno, (and all the other gods we've met so far) has a habit of choosing young children to be their speakers. For whatever reason, they prefer the sense of innocence and naivety that comes with choosing a young person. Maylea is mostly unaware of all the terrible things that come with being chosen by a god. However, as many characters have said in the series before, "it's destiny." Therefore, Jaevid trying to stop or protect Maylea in whatever way he can is probably not going to end very well. "Destiny" happened to him, it happened to Reigh, and now it's happening to Maylea. Jaevid is probably very keenly aware of the cycle that's been going on. "Destiny" has left him and Reigh traumatized, and now it's coming for his children. By coming to Nar'Haleen, Jaevid is attempting to end that cycle before it can cause any more harm. Choosing (in some way) to defy the thing that made him and so many others into what they are today. "Destiny" is what made him a legend. It's what helped him and Reigh end the Tibran War. It's what's going to help his daughter make a name for herself here and now. Defying it and everything that comes with it could protect his kids from experiencing life-changing traumas, or it could make everything worse.

[cult-of-the-eye]

guys why would alice invite her ex and his new gf to her little brother's show? i've got a few thoughts

she's trying to keep sam from drifting off by establishing a neutral middle ground for everyone to be at, where she is still comfortable

she's lonely. she doesn't have anyone else to ask.

her brother needs the people? (not sure about this one cause it seemed packed later on in the episode but he was also asking for money so maybe she thinks he needs the people?)

this is a desperate last ditch attempt at keeping everyone together. she can feel the gap widening and she can't have that

she's also somehow keeping up appearances of unbothered by the horrors and therefore exempt from it

she's trying to establish a middle ground that is exempt from the horrors to save sam from whatever fate he might have

[thetickbeforetheboom]

Spoilers for episode 3 of The Amazing Digital Circus down below!

I've seen some discussion about who Pomni was referring to when she said "I knew it would end up like this. He just wants me to suffer."

I know Caine might seem like too obvious an answer, hence why there are theories that Pomni is talking about someone out in the real world. But the present tense of her sentence makes me think she's still talking about Caine.

Pomni has come to accept that she's trapped here. She's not (actively) looking for an escape anymore. She's cut off from everything from her life before the circus. I don't know, her saying "he wants" feels wrong. If I was stuck somewhere and it was someone else's fault, I'd used past tense. "He wanted" versus "he wants". We don't know what "he" wants in this moment, only what he wanted when he hypothetically got us stuck in the game. Maybe that's just me though.

To me, it makes more sense for Pomni to be referring to Caine. Pomni has a poor opinion of Caine already. So far everything he's done has made her suffer, both directly and indirectly. At the start of episode 3 he even dismissed her concerns about a repeat of Gummigoo, something that clearly bothers her a great deal. It would make sense for Pomni to see all of this and assume that Caine, as the boss of this world, is doing all of this to her intentionally.

Maliciously.

We as the audience know Caine is an AI who trying his best but doesn't actually understand what his guests need. Pomni doesn't know this. To her, this being that controls everything is the mastermind behind her suffering and torment. Which, to be fair, he is. He just also doesn't understand the scope of feelings his guests can experience, nor does he understand why they feel that way. Zooble is a perfect example for this. He gave them a bandaid to fix their problem, but it doesn't actually address the core issue. And yet he deemed their problem already fixed.

Back to that first sentence. "I knew it would end up like this." Perhaps this is her recognizing how the Circus doesn't let her win. She tried to help Ragatha, her hand gets glitched. She found an exit door, turns out it's fake and there's no exit at all. She tried to bring her first real friend back to the circus, oops! Turns out NPCs can't come back to the circus. Even in episode 3 she can't win. She gets dragged down by Kinger, and when she looks for exits they're all blocked. She finds a key to the dumbwaiter, it goes down instead of up. She grabs the gun for Kinger, turns out shooting the monster gets you dragged into hell. No matter what she does, she ends up the loser. Why wouldn't this adventure end up with her in literal hell?

Or maybe there is another person outside who got her into this mess. Who am I to say?

[moghedien]

like I wanna be clear, I never really wanna talk people out of not liking the show or whatever. like sure I want people to enjoy it but also if you don't like it in general or don't like certain plot points or changes, I am not posting to try to talk you out of that. I'm posting because I'm a brainrotted girl with lifelong OCD who literally has a brain wired to obsess over things and its healthier for me to obsess over things I like

I mean, I'm gonna point out takes that I don't think make sense (like "oh but Lanfear would have just Traveled to get Rand" literally makes no sense for instance and I'm gonna point stuff like that out) but like I don't really wanna talk people into the show unless they like actually want me to. if you come on my posts or send me an ask and question my opinions/theories/takes, I'll talk about them with you happily, but I have no interest in really commenting on people's stuff to try to argue with them into liking things or agreeing with me and that's never really my intent. there are valid complaints and all that and its better to see those then like mindless hate from bookcloak types. complaints in and of themselves should not be dismissed on the nature of being a complaint

[coredrill]

on the eve of receiving the preview (which i will certainly overthink) for the bravern episode i have already been overthinking for WEEKS i just gotta say. man. god. if nothing else i gotta give it to this show for having me HOOKED since day fucking one (or two i guess since that was when i found a fansub of ep1 fndbdhsk) and STILL leaving me with no clue as to what’s gonna happen next or what direction they’re gonna go. truly and genuinely my only real DESIRE has been for this show to entertain me and it has succeeded on ALL counts there so like. it still holds very very true and i can’t wait to see what the hell is gonna go down in the back half :]

[doves-fandomstuff]

❗️Spoilers for chapter 88 and 105.5

~~~~

translation

In my opinion, it makes sense if things go that way 🤔👀 Or it's just a random vampire? How did he manage to hide him though? Anways my other theory here

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

every time i create a new increasingly specific tag for sorting (and hoarding) purposes I am mortified about it because what if someone thinks i categorized their post wrong and gets mad at me or thinks its stupid and I am stupid for having a tag for that thing. so i create increasingly convoluted and esoteric tags so that people cant as easily surmise what its for. but just in case someone somehow DOES know what it stands for I need to make sure its still encompassing enough so people dont get mad at me for catogorising things wrong.

and so thats how i found myself writing out "hcfdietc" to stand for "headcanons, ficlets, drabbles, ideas, etc" before going "hey actually what the fuck am I doing" so basically there is something so wrong with me and I am the most annoying person in existence,

[iftitah]

i think im getting better at living in the moment

[theyzilla]

.

[caskofamontirado]

We know too little about spectres, the land of the dead, the promise, and the orbs. It's not a bad thing, keeps us on our toes and gives us the space to theorize. So I'd like to add a few questions we can ask, regarding the orbs.

Everything we know about them has been from Poppet, and given how manipulative the Deans have been showed to be, I'd say there's a big possibility those informations aren't the whole truth.

Are they really stuck in that state for all eternity? Are they really non-sentient? One would think otherwise given how fiercely they were protecting Lenore and Annabel in the panel you just showed. And if that part isn't true, then what else isn't? If there's a possibility that they aren't stuck in that state, is there a way to bring them back? What's the difference between being an orb and staying in the land of the dead?

Nevermore is said to be the step in between life and death, where the students are both dead and alive, that's why they've still got the appearance of when they were still alive. The logical step would be to assume everyone in the land of the dead is stuck in their spectre/ghost form, wouldn't it? But then what are they doing for all eternity exactly? Do spectres need to eat, drink, sleep? Or do they just wander around forever? If that's the case, sounds like a pretty boring afterlife.

So now that the seasons over, I figured it’s as good a time as any to reread nevermore from the beginning again and I want to point something out really quick.

So during the final chapter we get left on a cliffhanger with Annabel seemingly in danger of the hunt and keep seeing people freaking out everywhere worried about wether or not she’ll be safe, and I’ve also seen a few point out that hopefully it won’t do anything because it smells Lenore in her. Now what I HAVENT seen anyone point out yet is one crucial detail in the first chapter…….

Annabel was WITH Lenore when they first encountered the hunt. It most likely remembers her. It’s like we all just forgot that part ( unless this was extremely obvious and I was the only one who forgot which is entirely possible and extremely likely)

What I haven’t seen anyone question yet is this….

I think everyone is generally under the consensus that the orbs were trying to help them in the beginning but what hasn’t really been questioned yet is why did the react to Theo (which is the leading theory) this way? What did he do to them? What’s his role on the island?

[incognit0slut]

Much Ado About Nothing (Act I, Scene II: The Crude Suggestion)

A provocative joke leads Spencer to contemplate, yet ultimately avoid, a crucial conversation with you.

Part warning: a little suggestive comment and two idiots being stubborn Words: 2.1k A/n: I want to remind you that each part doesn’t necessarily follow one another, the story focuses on their relationship and not on the cases being told. This is just a collection of shenanigans and nothing too serious!

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

There was something about being in the middle of nowhere for a case. Maybe not exactly nowhere—you knew where you were, you could pinpoint this city on a map, but there wasn’t the same bustle and constant noise you were used to in Quantico. The relative quiet was unsettling, yet oddly comforting.

Although nothing was comforting about checking the crime scene deep in a forest in broad daylight. It was a small, unnaturally circular clearing where the grass was trampled down in places, and in the center was the remains of what you were there to investigate.

“So,” you started, your eyes scanning the place. “Do you think the Unsub uses these remote areas to avoid detection, or is he just a fan of the great—albeit bland—outdoors?”

Spencer glanced at you from the other side of the clearing.

“Statistically speaking, the isolation could serve to minimize the risk of witnesses. However, it’s also plausible that the Unsub finds comfort in solitude. Or maybe he just dislikes traffic.”

“Dislikes traffic,” you repeated, deadpan. “Yes, because serial killers are really just misunderstood commuters.”

Just as Spencer was about to retort with what you assumed would be a wildly thrilling statistic about traffic patterns and criminal behavior, Emily’s voice cut through the tension. “Can’t you two ever not bicker for more than five minutes?”

You turned to her. “I’m just trying to get a straightforward answer. But apparently, that’s too much to ask for.”

“I’m giving you a range of possibilities, which is what profiling is about. Sorry if that’s too complicated for you to understand.”

“Oh, I understand completely,” you replied, matching his tone. “I just find that half of your theories are unnecessary.”

Spencer’s eyes narrowed. “The depth of analysis ensures we don’t overlook anything. It’s thorough, not unnecessary.”

“You call it thorough. I call it overthinking.”

Emily stepped between you, raising a hand. “Alright, enough. Can we focus on the case now?”

“He started it,” you couldn’t resist muttering under your breath as you moved to another part of the clearing.

“Me? You were the one who—”

Emily cut him off with a loud, exasperated sigh, tilting her head back as if seeking divine intervention, before turning her gaze sharply back to both of you.

“Most people go to therapy to deal with this much-unresolved tension,” she remarked dryly. Then, fixing you with a pointed look, she added, “You know what else might help?”

You frowned, glancing towards her. “What?”

Emily paused dramatically, her gaze shifting from you to Spencer and back again at you, lingering a little too long. She didn’t say anything, but the way she raised her brows and the smirk playing on her lips, you knew what she was implying. It was as if there was an unspoken code that only years of friendship between women could understand.

You looked away, a slight burn along our cheeks.

Spencer, still oblivious, looked from Emily to you, confusion written all over his face. "What? What are you talking about?”

“Well—”

“No!” You stopped her. “Don’t listen to her.”

Spencer’s confusion deepened, his gaze shifting from you to Emily, trying to decipher the underlying message. Emily’s smirk only widened, clearly enjoying the discomfort she’d stirred up.

“You should ask Y/N,” she said, her tone teasing. “I’m sure she knows some great ideas for... tension relief.”

You felt your face heat up even more, and you shot Emily a warning look, partly annoyed and partly embarrassed by her insinuation. But she simply just laughed, and when a sudden car pulled up near them, Emily found a way to escape.

“Oh, look, the sheriff is here,” she said, swiftly changing the subject. “You guys check the area while I talk to him.”

Emily walked off to meet the sheriff, leaving you and Spencer alone in awkward silence. You turned away, eager to divert your attention back to work when you felt him hang back slightly to walk with you.

He seemed to hesitate before speaking. “What was she referring to?”

You glanced at him, trying to gauge his reaction, wondering if he was genuinely confused or just looking for a way to keep the conversation light.

"Nothing," you replied with a dismissive shrug, keeping your eyes on the ground ahead. “She was joking.”

“I could tell, but what about?”

You paused, realizing that the vague explanations weren't going to satisfy him this time. His analytical mind was both a blessing and a curse in moments like these.

"She was suggesting—jokingly—that we might relieve our constant bickering... through more unconventional methods."

"Unconventional methods?"

“Sex, Reid. She was implying sex.”

His face instantly turned a shade of red, perhaps deeper than you had ever seen before. He blinked a few times, clearly taken aback by the bluntness of your clarification.

"Oh," he managed to stutter out, the usual fluency of his speech faltering under the weight of the topic. He bit his bottom lip, a nervous habit that you had come to recognize as his attempt to buy time while he gathered his thoughts. 

“That’s…”

“Crazy, right?” You pressed on. “I mean, nothing good will come out if we start blurring pleasure and professional lines like that.”

There, you said it, an underlining of your words that carried more weight than the immediate conversation. You wondered if he understood your double meaning, and maybe he did, because his gaze met yours sharply.

He exhaled, his demeanor shifting as he processed not just Emily's joke but also the deeper reference to that night—the one neither of you spoke about but still lingered between you.

“Right,” he finally responded, his voice firm, yet there was a hint of something else you couldn’t quite decipher. “Nothing good at all.”

“It would only complicate things.”

“Exactly.”

“It’s a bad idea.”

“The worst.”

For a moment, you both stood there, the forest around you fading into the background. You broke the silence first, turning away from him. "We should finish up here. There's still a lot of ground to cover."

With those words, you moved ahead, feeling his gaze on your back. The crunch of leaves under his steps echoed as he followed in silence.

It would only complicate things… as if it wasn’t already complicated in the first place.

Spencer looked over to where you stood; it was clear you were trying to avoid him for the past hour. He watched as you meticulously examined every leaf and twig, your focus seeming more like an escape than an investigation.

He knew he should say something, perhaps bridge the gap with an apology or an olive branch of some sort, but every potential word seemed to catch in his throat. It seemed like a constant cycle of hesitation and missed opportunities. Every time he thought to speak, doubt would claw its way back, holding him silent. 

He wondered if perhaps it was the same for you.

“Hey,” Emily’s voice filled the silence as she joined back. “Did you find anything?”

Spencer’s train of thought was abruptly interrupted by Emily’s arrival. He straightened up, quickly shifting his focus back to the present. He gestured towards the markings on the ground that you both had been examining.

“We might have found something.” 

Emily crouched beside you, eyes scanning the evidence with practiced ease. “You think this is from our Unsub?”

You nodded, offering the specifics, “The pattern and depth suggest it’s not natural. And the spacing might give us an idea about the size and weight of the Unsub.”

“I’ll get the forensics team to take a closer look.” She stood up, looking between you and Spencer. “You two okay here?”

“Yes, we’re fine,” Spencer answered quickly, a bit too eagerly. You simply nodded without saying a word.

“Alright, maybe I like it better when you both bicker.”

He saw you shrug nonchalantly. “I’m gonna check the other side,” you announced before walking away.

"She's avoiding me," he stated, a note of helplessness threading through his voice.

“Can you blame her?”

“What?” He asked, his voice tinged with defensiveness. “So it's my fault?”

“Well… did you do anything wrong?”

There was a pause before he glanced away, his mind racing through that night. “Maybe,” he admitted, his voice low, almost reluctant. 

"There you go, you have your answer.” 

He shifted from one foot to the other, visibly uncomfortable, as his fingers twitched at his sides. “Do you think we’re overreacting?”

She sighed. “Look, I don't know the details of what happened, and as much as I want to help, it’s between you two. The way I see it, you have two options: either resolve the problem or continue bickering.”

He frowned, mulling over her words. He glanced toward you and faltered for a moment, noticing the glare you were throwing him even from the other side of the clearing. It was clear you didn’t want to engage in any type of conversation with him.

“Yeah, I think I’m going to stick with bickering.”

Emily laughed. “Really? You don’t want to consider my suggestion earlier?” When she caught the blush creeping on his cheeks, her grin widened. “Finally caught on what I meant?”

His blush deepened, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Oh, yeah, well, that's definitely not an appropriate solution," he stammered, trying to regain his composure. Collecting himself, he latched onto a more comfortable territory—facts. 

"Actually, according to a study, about 20% of workplace relationships lead to marriage, but they can also significantly complicate professional dynamics, increasing the potential for conflicts of interest.”

Emily simply smiled, clearly amused at how flustered he was. Her silence only urged him to continue.

"And, well, that doesn't even begin to cover the fallout if things don't work out. The workplace can become, um, a challenging environment for both parties involved. It's just... it's tricky."

Spencer winced to himself, because ironically, the fallout was already happening. The situation he was theorizing about in vague terms was unfolding right in front of him.

"It sounds like you're speaking from experience.”

“I’m not!” He responded almost too fast. “I’m not.”

She studied him, her eyes narrowing slightly as she assessed his reaction. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the ground. The quick denial had been too sharp, too reflexive, and now he felt cornered by his own reactions.

“I’m not,” he insisted again. “I just... I mean, I've read a lot about it. You know, studies, research papers, it's nothing personal."

Emily nodded slowly, not entirely convinced but choosing not to push further. "If you say so.”

Her eyes lingered on him for a while, and when she realized the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, she turned around and left him.

“Where are you going?”

“Comforting her,” she called out, walking backward. “Something you should’ve done.”

He watched Emily walk away, her words stinging more than he wanted to admit. Then his eyes traveled to you, and it was as if you could sense his lingering stare, you looked up and met his gaze.

Anger. Annoyance. It was what he caught in your eyes before you quickly masked it with a neutral expression. The intensity of that brief exchange was enough to make him realize just how deep the rift between you had gone.

Spencer knew talking about it was the mature thing to do, but he also feared that bringing up that conversation might only open another can of worms. He felt stuck, unsure if addressing the issue would heal or harm. So he went back to being a coward and turned in the opposite direction.

It was for the better. You didn’t want to talk to him anyway.

[stellarsagittarius]

🦋🩵 Pluto in your Natal Chart: How you seek Power & Control 🩵🦋

📌 Exchange readings: CLOSED

📌 Masterlist + Book a Reading

Pluto in the 1H

You are someone with a intense amount of personal power. There is such a mysterious tone to these individuals which isn't overly to-your-face or overwhelming, it is this consuming magnetic aura these people have. It pulls people in slowly but when it does, oh they are in for some treat. It shows that you view the world as a place to be controlled. You need power in YOUR hands, and do not like it when someone else tries to assume things about you because really, nobody can truly read you. You look into situations so deeply, and this depth is intertwined with the way you seek to view the world and yourself on a very transformative lenses. You bring an immense amount of change wherever you go because of the very way you think about how things should be. If any personal planet or Ascendant is making a conjunct, then this is related to a lot of personal experiences that deeply changes you.

Pluto in 2H

You need an immense amount of control over your finances and your resources. You may not be the most sharing type, but you do like to give out to those who you truly see are in need, and know that they won't misuse it. This is especially heightened if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets in your second house. You are ready to do anything for money, this is said in the best way possible, though if unchecked it can define a person who attaches the value of themselves to how much possessions they have. It can make you possessive and obsessive over controlling your finances, or making you feel like no matter what you do you always end up in some sort of misery. If this is taken in a growth-oriented way then it makes you someone who absolutely knows their worth, and won't settle for anything less than the best. Material detachment is very necessary for you to recognize your true power.

Pluto in 3H

You are someone with an intense thinking pattern. Mainly the way you communicate things to other people or even regulate information within your own brain is tainted by this need to get to the truth. You intensify the process of learning, you need to get to the absolute truth, the in-depth reasoning behind why certain things happen the way they do. You could have been mistreated in school or felt like your school years were more or less quite of a challenge. If pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, it especially intensifies the way you learn from the world. The way you always question logic and reasoning behind already proven theories. You hold power in learning. And you might be especially selective when it comes to what kind of information you are consuming, because if you aren't then it can lead to overthinking/anxiousness.

Pluto in 4H

You are extremely private. Especially if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planet, you have clear boundaries between your personal and public life. You do not like to put your matters out in the world, or even feel like opening up with just anyone. Your family life is something that can often get you worked up. You desire control over your private life, over family matters, and this naturally makes you someone assertive when it comes to proving dominance in your home. There could be a lot of clashes with people because you have conflicting ideas about what measures to take in certain situations, and this can lead you to keeping a very hard shell around you. You may feel like the need to constantly protect your personal space, your vulnerability and to not let people get close to you. You may have experienced a lot of turbulence in your home life while growing up or had issues with your father.

Pluto in 5H

You are someone who can have impulsive tendencies when it comes to pleasure. Pluto in fifth often manifests as someone who happens to get way too comfortable in all the good things that it may turn harmful to their well-being. You can become obsessed with all kinds of pleasures out there. This is mostly in extreme cases if pluto is conjunct any malefic. At the same time you are someone who highly values their personal freedom. You have a desire to take control over your happiness, your passions and what your inner child needs. You don't do well in enviorments that restrict you from creating something for yourself. You could have had experiences in life where you felt like you didn't have control over your joys. You always had to oblige to other or people came between you and your passions.

Pluto in 6H

You are someone intensely focused on perfection. You do not like when things are not being done the way you planned it. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets. You like control over your routines, your surroundings, doing small things for yourself. This can indicate someone picky, someone particular of what they need in their life or on the other hand this can indicate someone who hates following through routines as they feel it limits them in some way. Struggling with procrastination is also one thing for some people. You are the type to want control over any tasks, sort of become the manager. This may make you someone who is overly bossy, like in a good way if you know other people's boundaries. You may struggle a bit with 0CD, feel like you have stay on top of your work, etc.

Pluto in 7H

What you love, is to be in control of your relationships. You may have bit of obsessive tendencies when it comes to the people you are romantically involved with and you also seek this depth in all your friendships. You are the type to not open up with just anyone, and relationships often come as a challenge because you look so deep within all the situations with other people. Casual relationships, platonic or romantic, aren't your thing. This is especially heightened if any personal planets make a conjunct to your pluto. You seek control over your relationships as well, to gain a good amount of understanding of it. Relationships transform you, this is due to the very depth with which you seek to understand other people. Needless to say, you may have had difficulty in maintaining relationships, or you may have had quite challenging people in your life that highly affected your ability to connect with others.

Pluto in 8H

You are someone who wants control over how you involve yourself with other people. This is especially effective when a personal planet is conjunct your pluto. You either end up in alot of drama or not end up in one at all. Because you need to be in check of what you are giving out and receiving form others. This can make you quite an intense person when it comes to business. Pluto does indicate loss due to an intense amount of transformation, and eight house is the house of transformation. So you can be quite good at knowing when it's time to shed the skin and become someone new. Or it may get challenging for you to find the light at the end of the tunnel due to a lot intense thoughts about what is out there in life. You may have tendencies to overthink your interactions with other people, and sometimes feel like everybody involve themselves in your business.

Pluto in 9H

You are some extremely selective about the beliefs you embody. But at the same time you have this desire to explore the true meaning of reality itself and sort of completely challenge the already set status quo. You seek to transform because of the philosophy you embody. It is deeply intertwined with how you seek to approach the world itself. You observe and learn on a very deep level. This is especially intensified if pluto makes a conjunct to any personal planets, it gives you this power over influencing people's beliefs and even be this ideal person people can learn from. Knowledge is very important for you to understand the world at large on a deep lens. You are generally interested in the more challenging side of "humanity" like world hunger, poverty, etc. You seek to find the core meaning and whether that meaning is acceptable or not.

Pluto in 10H

You are someone who knows the importance of taking actions that leave a mark. You do not let people dictate what you do, at all. So, you want to have the most control over the way you present yourself, act on your goals and your reputation. You could have dealt with a controlling mother, or people who tried to get in your way in front of everyone else. You may deal with a fear of public or being afraid of social interactions because of being so conscious about your self-image. This is true mostly if you have pluto conjunct a personal planet in your tenth house. On the brighter note, you wish to gain complete control over your career as well. You absolutely do not like taking orders from other and are a boss of your own rythmn. Your public image is something that allows you to assess your actions very deeply.

Pluto in 11H

Social interactions are a key to your personal transformation. This is especially true if pluto is conjunct any personal planets. You are someone who needs to be the best one between your peers or you are someone who struggles with social anxiety. This placement can make people either ambitious or anxious. And both are okay. The thing is you put a lot of emphasis on how well you are doing in your social circles and how many people you are able to, sort of, "gather" for yourself. You need people, you want control over the way people react to you in different circumstances and you truly want them to be on your side. This may induce either a fear of actually making such networks or an overzealous ambition that may lead to an obsession over your social status. You need as many connections as possible because of this fear of either being alone or not having a good status or even just beliefs instilled by your peers that you always have to crave validation.

Pluto in 12H

This is bit of a challenging placement, but I will say that it can be overcome if you use these situations to propel you even further in life, and not stay stuck anymore. It's about recognizing and accepting. This is especially true for those with pluto conjunct a personal planet in twelfth house, because pluto alone has weak effects. You really think deep, and it's almost this fear of how deep you can actually go. Your subconscious is something that really holds the power for you to understand how these thoughts can be channeled in the right direction. Meditation is one big game changer for you. You can struggle with excessive thinking, almost to a point that it's just challenging to even detach from those thoughts. Ground yourself as much as possible. You experience these intense insights into people's underlying intentions and your own psyche.

Thank you for reading 🩵!

[euthymiya]

two sides of the same coin — ft. kamisato ayato

your husband is aware of your body like it’s his duty. doting as a husband should be, he takes matters into his own hands to offer you a solution that more than satisfies the both of you at the same time

contains: 2k words of pure shame ; fem reader ; periods and period sex ; cunnilingus ; fingering ; freak ayato like the usual ; reader and ayato are married (they refer to each other as husband and wife affectionately) ; ayato cums untouched

He knows. Like some sort of twisted sixth sense, Ayato always knows your body better than anything else.

He enters your chambers at half past five—it’s usually the time he’s most busy, the time when most of his important meetings run through. But he’s here, walking up to you as he shuts and locks the door behind him.

“Ayato?” You raise a questioning brow, “What are you doing here when—”

“I have cleared my schedule,” he cuts you off, eyeing you with a certain hunger you can recognize all too well. He’s quick to make his way over to you, body hovering over yours on the bed as he presses his nose to your cheek and inhales your scent.

“Cleared your schedule…” you repeat, eyeing him for a split second before you gasp, shivering as his lips nip at your jaw.

“Yes, my darling wife,” he chuckles, “it took a great deal of effort to afford myself this time. Do you not wish to be in my presence?”

“Oh, be quiet, will you?” You huff, fingers gripping at the loose hairs surrounding his face, brushing it behind his ear as he shivers at the soft touch. 

It doesn’t take long after that—his lips find yours hungrily. 

Ayato is impatient when he wants something. He’s never been accustomed to waiting for much, the spoiled thing. Whether it’s as the young master or as the head of the Kamisato clan, he has never had to ask for something twice. You are no exception. You give him what he desires just as quickly, if not quicker.  

Today is a bit different, though. Today, you pull away, stopping his hands gently as they play with the hem of your dress, stilling him from exposing your thighs. 

“Troubled, my dear?” He raises a brow, pulling away from your lips with glossed, swollen ones of his own. “I’ve already told you, there’s nothing to overthink. I have handled matters for the evening to spend my moments with you.”

“It’s not that,” you hesitate for a moment, faltering when his hand comes to cup your cheek, a delicate thumb tracing your lips. “I…I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Why’s that?” He tilts his head, making you deflate with a pout. 

“Use your brain, you treacherous man,” you huff, slapping his shoulder lightly as he gives you a teasing grin. “What happens during this time of month—I know you know. You’ve spent a good deal of time handling my moods enough to be aware.”

“Ah, I see,” he chuckles, eyes twinkling as he leans down to nip below your ear. “I’m already aware of your…predicament. It’s precisely why I’ve come to you.”

“Ayato—”

“You know, I’ve come to learn the most interesting fact the other day. Did you know that achieving orgasm helps significantly with alleviating menstrual cramps? Such fascinating wonders of the body,” he hums. His eyes narrow as he looks at you, something far hungrier than you think you’ve ever seen. “Perhaps we should test for ourselves the validity of such theories.”

“Dear heavens. Your desires have become more and more improper as the days pass, Ayato,” you scold, flustered under his heated gaze, “Would it kill you to have a sense of propriety?” 

“Oh, my darling beloved,” he grins, so wholly amused it makes you almost feel like his prey, “You misunderstand me. I’m merely a devoted husband, one who aims to keep my beautiful lady pleased. Surely, it is not a crime?”

“But—”

“Now, now,” he coos, pressing a soft, wet kiss to your cheek before he slowly makes his way between your legs, kissing at your plush thighs as he moves your skirt higher, higher, higher. Until you’re stuttering over your breaths as he presses a kiss just below your belly button. “No need to worry. I assure you, I will handle the mess. Think of it as my way of expressing my gratitude for how patiently you always wait for me, my love.”

Ayato is a man of deep, untamed desires. You’ve learned through your years of marriage. He’s taken you in hushed corners of the estate, places where anyone can hear you, walk past you, catch you red handed for your obscenity. Perhaps they have—you don’t think it outlandish for someone to unintentionally catch a glimpse of your fucked out face, hear his filthy grunts, witness the roll of his hips as his swollen cock splits you in two outside of your chambers where he should be having you. 

The people of the estate are kind enough to afford you ignorance to their knowledge if they do happen to have been unfortunate passerbyers. It’s to your relief, and you suspect it’s to Ayato’s great disappointment. 

Such a shamelessly filthy man, you think. 

You don’t have time to really dwell on your husband's improper desires, however. Not when he’s so quick to disrobe your lower half and leave your pussy bare. 

He hums, pressing a kiss to your clit, earning a shiver from you as you whimper. 

“Ayato, this is filthy,” you whine, “You’re being utterly obscene.”

“Do you really wish for me to stop?” He challenges, “I shall end this the moment you ask—go on, my precious wife. Ask me to stop and I will.”

You can’t. It’s the shameful part of this whole ordeal—your cunt is aching for him, for his tongue, his fingers, his touch. Anything. There is no stopping Ayato, but not because he is good at taking what he wants. It’s because you are terrible at denying him. Deep down, just as much as he wishes to have you, you wish to give him yourself. 

It’s a horrid realization you try to deny. But it’s a simple truth. You and Ayato are a match perhaps even Celestia themselves would be shocked by—the pure lewdness of your natures are perfectly in sync. His more bold, and yours more hidden, of course. But they are one and the same at their core. 

Ayato aches for you, and you ache to give yourself up. It’s a simple arrangement of things. 

“You are a wicked man,” you huff, hand burying into his locks as you twist your fingers around the strands and pull harshly. Like a punishment. He groans, a lewd sound that makes your walls quiver around nothing—of course, he relishes in the slight sting at his scalp from your actions. “Get on with it then,” you say without meeting his smug, humored little eyes. 

“As you wish, my love,” he says smoothly. His lips are curled in a predatory smile, eyeing you with the slyness of a fox who’s cornered a small, helpless rabbit. But even with his teeth bared, Ayato is gentle. 

He gives kitten licks to your clit, rolling his tongue teasingly over the sensitive nub as you shake and give him a soft gasp. And because you are just as good at getting what you want from the man, you look down at him with the softest, pleading eyes as you beg, “Ayato, my darling. Do spare you poor wife the teasing will you? Don’t you love me so?”

He lets out a shaky exhale at that, breath hitching as he closes his eyes and takes a sharp breath. “I believe you are just as wicked as me, my dear,” he says hoarsely. 

And then his lips are attached to your clit, sucking around the nerves as you whine, head thrown back against the pillows, hips bucking into his mouth as he moves down to lick a stripe at your folds. You should be ashamed of your dripping cunt—of the filth mingled in with the slick. But Ayato has no qualms. He’s exceedingly happy, in fact, groaning in some sick pleasure of his own as he tastes you on his tongue, the vibrations leaving you sensitive and quaking. 

“Oh, Ayato,” you moan, a high pitched little sound that makes his cock twitch in his pants. He pants into your pussy, hot breath fanning over your entrance as he rubs his achingly hard cock against the mattress, right through his pants. “Ayato, please—I c-can’t…”

A finger prods at your folds, sinking in slowly. You mewl at the intrusion, arching your back as he slips in another and gives a shallow thrust of his wrist. His tongue flicks back and forth against your clit, eyes hooded as they stare up at your broken expression. 

“Fuck,” you curse. Such obscenities are only uttered by you when Ayato has his way with you—when he strips you bare of your formalities and turns you weak against your own etiquette. “It…it feels so good, Ayato. M-more—please.” 

He chuckles, planting a wet kiss, then another, then one more against your clit before he thrusts his fingers into you again, brushing against the spongy, delicate spot in the back of your walls that has you seeing stars. You sob, tugging at his hair and pulling him closer to your cunt, grinding your clit against his mouth as he hums at the action. 

“I’m close,” you whimper, “S-so—oh, gods.”

You break. Completely shatter. Never have your walls fluttered quite like this, spasming around his fingers in the most overpowering orgasm you think you might have had. His tongue swirls along your clit, long and slender digits brushing along your walls and dragging against every sensitive ridge. He hits that spot you’re most weak to so perfectly, precise and almost cruel as he brushes his fingertips against it without mercy. 

The pleasure is so much that it’s almost too overwhelming. It makes you feel out of body, makes you shake under his touch as you let broken cries fall past your lips. 

Ayato is not faring any better. You’re everywhere. Your taste lingers on his tongue, your heat envelops his every breath, your precious sounds invade his ears. Even your thighs that squeeze around his face suffocate him with you. It’s almost enough on its own to send him over the edge himself—and when he rolls his hips against the bed, he can’t help but choke on his own groans, spilling into his pants with heavy twitches of his throbbing cock. Hot ropes of his seed soil his pants, but he couldn’t possibly care—not when you’re whining above him and tugging his hair to pull him away. 

“P-please,” you pant breathlessly, “please it’s too much.”

Sensitive, he notes. You’re more sensitive during this time than the usual others. He’ll make sure to have fun with that later—for now, he pulls away, eyes hazy and blissed as he looks up at you with such infatuated pupils. 

“You are unearthly beautiful, my love,” he whispers. “Have I ever mentioned that?”

“Plenty,” you say exasperatedly, plopping an arm over your face as you hide the flustered expression on your face. 

He laughs, pressing a kiss to your thigh, grinning as a dull, red stain is left in the wake of his lips. So filthy—but he enjoys it so deeply. 

“Then I must remind you again. You are exceedingly breathtaking—I could not hope to deserve such a marvelous sight in any lifetime.”

“Enough flattery, you evil husband.”

“Evil?” He gasps, playfully offended. “I’ve taken such great care to help you in your moments of pain. Do tell me, were my findings correct? Has it helped your pains to come undone on my tongue?”

Ayato likes taking you. You like giving yourself up. Two filthy sides of the same coin. 

You hum thoughtfully, wiggling your hips before your hand tugs him by the hair to bump his nose against your clit. “I wasn’t paying attention. Try one more time so I can be certain.”

“Ah, of course. As you wish, my love,” he breathes excitedly. 

I uh….I don’t really wanna talk about it🚶‍♀️

[nr1chaedickrider]

I can only be me when i'm by your side - i'm not a monster.

As time passes recovering, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

cw: fluff, smut, angst, petnames, virgin!reader, sweet girl!jihyo, popular but not so popular!jihyo, basketball player!jihyo, both are 18 but they are students, mentions of death, drunk confessions, they fall in love pretty fast, lwk rushed, lmk if there is more ^_^, ~ 4k words

if you're thinking "hm! i read this fic somewhere... yes! its my heeseung fic from my bg blog @adorwoo ! which i wanted to use for jihyo !^_^ hope you enjoy anyway.

men dni.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

It's not your...

Is it really?

The rain beats down on your black umbrella, the lines from Dahyun's letter playing over and over in your head. It feels like you're trapped in a vicious cycle, not being able to think of anything else.

But why?

Why didn't she tell you?

Were all those conversations about the mutual trust between you two a lie? Was it just talk to keep you from worrying?

If someone had told you a week ago that you had to be at her funeral because she had killed herself, you would have laughed at that person. Dahyun was always the happiest person you've ever met.

Even if you had been told that a day ago, you wouldn't have believed it. Because in theory, it's the stupidest thing you've ever heard.

In his letter, she wrote about how much she loved you, how she enjoyed every minute and every moment with you, how it's not your fault that she's not here anymore.

She's probably right, not just probably. She's right, and you know it. But you can't stop blaming yourself. Someone has to take the blame. Someone is responsible.

You could have helped her.

You should have helped her.

Tears run down your cheeks as you stare at her grave. Her family, her friends, they are all gone. You stand here alone, not daring to leave.

'Kim Dahyun

Born on may 28, 1998.

A friend, daughter and lover.

She will continue to live in our souls.'

It feels like your eyes are glued to the writing, you can't look away. You try to regulate your breathing, taking a deep breath.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you place the white rose next to the gravestone.

You take one last look at her grave before turning and slowly walking away.

-

"I'm Y/n, nice to meet you all."

You look at the students in front of you, all of them giving you strange looks. Of course, you are a new student, but you feel uncomfortable under their gaze. The teacher smiles at you and tells you where to sit, next to a girl called Mina.

It's as if everyone has forgotten about you again as the teacher starts teaching. You sit down next to Mina and she smiles at you.

"Nice to meet you," she whispers. You smile at her.

You can't talk to her for long because she starts taking notes for the lesson. You look around at the faces of the others. It actually looks like a normal class, but your eyes land on a girl.

She looks shorter than you, her hair is brown as well as her eyes. She's wearing a white t-shirt.

"Have you laid your eye on someone?" asks Mina, laughing a little.

"No!" you answer, a little too loudly, and you put your head on the table as a few people look at you. "I was just looking at her," you whisper.

"Yeah yeah... that's what they all say" she says.

You slowly lose yourself in your thoughts as memories of Dahyun come flooding back.

Should you even look at other girls? Is it bad?

Would Dahyun hate you for trying to find love again?

It's been more than two months since she died, but you can't stop thinking about her.

Maybe it's normal, your behavior. Your overthinking of everything, maybe you're not the only person who feels this way? Maybe there is someone else who is just as lost in their thoughts as you are.

Maybe you are simply not alone.

However, your thoughts are interrupted by the bell and Mina.

"I can show you a few things here at school if you want," she suggests, and you gratefully accept her help.

You spend the whole lunch break running after her while she shows you around.

"Why did you change schools anyway? Your old one is a pretty well-known one, and much better than here," she asks, before taking a bite of her sandwich.

The question makes you wonder, and you think about whether you should just lie to her and say that you moved, or that you were somehow bullied at your school - but somehow it feels wrong. Because you neither moved nor were you bullied. No, everything was actually fine.

Actually,

Somehow everything changed after her death.

Your classmates started looking at you funny, and you still don't know whether they are looks of pity or looks of condemnation because they blame you.

"I don't know" is your answer, and somehow it's true. Sometimes you really have no idea why you changed schools, but Mina doesn't need to know the whole truth.

She just nods in response as she continues to eat.

"The girl you were looking at in English, her name is Jihyo by the way" she says.

What?

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask.

"Because you were staring at her a lot - you looked really interested in her" she replies with a little grin.

"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't staring at her..." you laugh a little, but can't hide your despair. Why does she think you're interested in her?

-

"Watch out!" someone shouts, but before you can react, a basketball hits you.

You fall to the floor, your head hurts and you feel slightly dizzy as you slowly open your eyes.

The girl from your English class is kneeling on the floor in front of you, looking at you, trying to see if you're okay.

It's like a cliché high school movie.

"Are you okay?" she asks, a couple of other girls come over, but she just tells them to get something to cool off and shoos them away.

The things that can happen when you want to visit the gym...

You nod slowly, after a few blinks your vision is no longer blurry.

Another girl comes back and hands Jihyo a cold pack.

"Here, take this," she says and puts it in your hand, her hand on your shoulder to support you.

You hold it to your head, biting the inside of your cheek slightly from the cold.

Before she can say anything else, she is called by his coach, at the same moment Mina comes to you.

"I was looking for you," she says and helps you up.

You watch Jihyo jogging across the field before you leave the gym.

-

New week, new luck?

Every day you tried desperately to talk to Jihyo somehow, but suddenly she was always gone after class and you were never put in a group together.

But it looks like luck is on your side for once.

"Here's the list of groups, you have to give a presentation in pairs on a play of your choice," your English teacher announces.

You look at the picture projected on the wall.

Chaeyoung and Mina,

Sana and Miyeon,

Jihyo and Y/n,

Jeongyeon and...

Wait, what?

You read the list again and once more you see your name and Jihyo's name next to each other.

"Jihyo and Y/n," you say quietly.

"Are you happy?" Mina asks teasingly with a grin on her lips.

"Are you happy that you have to work with Chaeyoung?" you ask back - Mina doesn't answer.

Before your teacher can give you any more homework for the break, the school bell rings and everyone rushes out of the classroom.

You walk (or rather, run) to Jihyo who is packing her things away.

"Hey, I was wondering when we should meet," you say, and she looks up at you and smiles. You feel your cheeks turning red.

She puts on his backpack and stands up.

"How about Friday afternoon? My place?" she suggests and you nod.

She takes a pen from her pocket, "Give me your hand," she says, you are confused but do it anyway.

She opens the pen with her mouth, the cap between her teeth as she gently writes on your hand.

Her phone number.

It feels like she's giving you an autograph.

"Text me and I'll send you my address," she says, and before you can answer, she walks out of the room.

You look down at your hand and see a little smiley face next to her number.

You can't help but giggle as you look at it.

-

You stare at your phone - up to her front door and back down to your phone.

You are 10 minutes early and don't dare to ring the doorbell.

"You know you can just ring the bell?" someone asks you, you look up and see Jihyo smiling at you.

"I'm early, that's why-"

"Not a problem," she interrupts you.

She lets you in and closes the door behind her.

Her house is beautiful, modern and yet somehow old-fashioned.

"My parents aren't here, so I thought we could study in the living room," she says, and you nod, leaning your backpack against the table.

"Water?" she asks and you take it gratefully.

You drink a little before she sits down across from you.

You both leaf through the books, take notes, talk briefly about certain passages, but otherwise no one says anything.

Jihyo decides to break the awkward atmosphere.

"I wanted to apologize again, for the basketball," she says, and you laugh a little.

"You don't have to apologize, things like that can happen," you reply.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" she asks, and instead of answering, you are completely silent, thinking.

Memories of Dahyun come back while Jihyo looks at you and waits for your answer.

"Yes, I did, but she died a few months ago," you answer.

She nods slightly, "Can I ask how he died?" she asks in a quiet, polite tone, as if she really wants to make sure that she's asking something that doesn't hurt you in any way.

"Suicide," you say, short and meager, without many details (whether you know many details at all is another question).

She looks at you with a supportive look, one that makes you feel like she's really listening and that she really understands you.

Maybe she understands you even more than you think?

She puts her hand on yours with a slight smile.

"Thank you for confiding in me," she says, your cheeks slightly flushed, hers too.

You both look at each other for a moment before she lets go and you both go back to work.

-

If only the work had gone on for longer.

After the one meeting, you saw her every day of the vacation. Always with the excuse that you supposedly "need to add something" (does going to the movies together add something to your project?).

It's been more than a week since you first met.

"You're in love," Mina says as she parks her car in front of Jihyo's house.

"I-"

"Don't even try to find an excuse, it's all good" she replies with a small grin.

You both get out of the car and walk to her house, the music so loud you can hear it several meters away.

How Jihyo, who is slightly drunk, hears the doorbell is also a mystery to you.

"Hey guys!" she greets you, she shakes Mina's hand and gives her a kind of high five, she gives you a hug.

You smile at her as the three of you walk into the living room.

"I'm going to Chaeyoung," Mina whispers, or rather shouts, in your ear before disappearing.

"Y/n, do you want to play a drinking game with us?" asks Jihyo, you nod.

Maybe it was a stupid decision.

Jihyo and her friends (of whom you only know Jeongyeon) only understand drinking games to mean taking shots and asking stupid questions.

Either answer - or drink.

You always chose the second option.

After about 7 questions (maybe more, maybe less - you lost count of that pretty fast) you get up and say that you need some fresh air.

Since you've been to her house several times, you know where the upstairs balcony is.

It's quite big, with a parasol and two folding chairs. You sit down on one and close your eyes, your head throbs a little.

"Are you okay?" someone asks after a few minutes.

To your surprise (not really a surprise), Jihyo stands next to you before sitting down on the chair to your right.

"Yeah, it's just the alcohol," you say.

You and alcohol, not really a good combination.

Especially not when you're sitting next to the girl you're in love with.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" you ask out of nowhere.

She shakes his head, "I thought it was obvious" she says and laughs a little.

"I love you" you confess.

She turns to you, but before he can answer anything, you keep talking.

"I know we haven't known each other that long... a month?? more? less? but-... I just have this feeling with you that I only used to have with her"

"I thought I'd never feel it again," you say, a tear running down your cheek.

Jihyo looks at you, her eyes slightly watery.

Is she crying too?

"Y/n" she says, interrupting your continued rambling.

She gets up, kneels down in front of your chair, and -

kisses you.

Her soft lips on yours.

She pulls away after just a few seconds and you already feel like you miss her lips.

"I love you too Y/n" she says softly.

You look at her in amazement.

"Really?" you ask.

"That's why I asked if you had a girlfriend" now it all makes so much more sense.

She pulls you up and takes you to the guest room. She tries to lay you down on the bed but you pull her with you and she falls on top of you.

You both stare at each other and laugh a little.

"You're drunk, get some rest," she says, kissing your forehead.

"I'll be here when you wake up"

-

And she really is next to you when you wake up.

"Good morning..." you groan as you rub your eyes.

She smiles at you, "good morning" she says, from the look on her face you suspect she woke up just a few minutes before you.

You pull her closer to you by her collar and kiss her, she kisses you back while her hand is on your cheek.

The kiss is just perfect, gentle, slow, a perfect way to start his morning.

But it can also be perfect in another way.

It gets warmer under the covers as you continue kissing, she kisses down your jaw to your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses on it. You can't help but rub your thighs together a little.

"What about the others?" you ask.

"I kicked them out yesterday after you fell asleep" she says, continuing to kiss your neck, even nibbling on it, making you let out soft moans.

"Jihyo, I think you should know that I am a virgin" you say, your cheeks heating up a little in embarrassment.

She giggles a little, kissing you on the lips again.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about baby" she replies with a smile.

She gets on top of you, continuing to kiss you.

You think kissing Jihyo is the best thing in the world.

Her hands trail over your body, giving you a soft squeeze here and there.

"Can I?" she asks, her hand playing with the buttons on your pants.

"Please" you answer with a smile.

She complies and opens them, pulling off your pants and leaving you in your underwear.

You sit up a little, your hands on her waist, feeling up her muscles, especially her abs.

"Want me to take it off?" she asks, you nod.

She pulls off her shirt over her head, dropping it somewhere on the floor.

Your finger trails up his stomach to her bra, looking at her like she is a work of art (she definetly is one).

"Done admiring me?" she asks with a teasing grin, to which you reply "never".

She leans down again, kissing your face as she starts to trail them down till he arrives at the waistband of your underwear.

"Can I?" she asks again, "yes" you answer, already out of breath.

She takes your underwear off, her hands placed on your thighs as she leaves kisses everywhere.

You can definetly tell that she has a thing for kissing.

When she places a kiss right on your clit though, you let out a small moan.

She begins licking and sucking on it, making you grab her hair with your hands as your fingers curl deeper into her scalp, leaving a delicious burn.

She drags her tongue down as she circles your core, slowly entering it a little.

You let out more moans as you turn your head to the side, moaning into the pillow.

Her tongue feels so good when you realise that you are closer and closer to your climax.

"Jihyo- I think I'm gonna-"

"Let it out princess" she mumbles against your core, the vibrations of her voice stimulating you even more as you cum into her mouth.

She smiles at you as he sits up, watching you coming down from your high.

You smile back at him as your cheeks turn red again.

"Can I?" she asks, her fingers trailing down your soft skin as her nails scratch you a little.

You look at her hand, a few veins poking out, her fingers thin but long.

You look at her again, nodding.

You pulled her closer as she rubs your clit with her fingers, you suck in your breath as she slowly pushes them in, the little stretch burning in a way that makes you even hornier.

She slips them in completly, you let out a moan in response. She takes your hand with her free one as your fingers intertwine.

She starts to slowly thrust into you, kissing you again as her tongue explores your mouth.

"You're so tight baby.." she mumbles into your mouth.

You can't help but let out louder moans when she starts to speed up a little.

Her fingers drive you crazy, it feels like she is everywhere, you feel her everywhere in your body as she exits and enters you.

"P-please jihyo- faster" you moan out, and who would she be if she wouldn't listen to your wishes?

She speeds up her thrusts, kissing down your neck again as her hot breath hits your skin.

Your hand grips the pillow your hand is laying on, moaning against your arm as you can feel Jihyo curling her fingers.

She thrusts into you again before you moan loudly, cumming as your thighs close around her wrist, panting heavily as she lets herself fall onto the spot next to you.

You both stare at the ceiling, the only sounds the heavy breathing from you.

You move her hand to yours and intertwine your fingers. She moves her head to the side to look at you, smiling.

You think seeing her smiling is something you can never get enough of.

-

Idiots in love, thats how you two can be described.

The next few months were full of love. Kisses here, kisses there. It didn't even have to be sexual, no, it was always romantic, no matter what you did together.

After a few months, she gave you a ring.

"One day I'll buy you an expensive, real diamond ring and ask you to marry me," she said, and since then you've both worn the matching rings without taking them off once.

If only it had stayed that way.

It's late at night, you're lying in bed reading a book when you get a message.

"I love you,

I'm sorry" - from Jihyo.

You sit up and stare at your cell phone.

"What's wrong?" you type and send the message, she replies,

"I can't take it anymore"

She can't take it anymore?

You feel a twinge in your head as you suddenly realize something.

It's too similar to Dahyun's goodbye.

"I can't live in this world anymore" she wrote in her text.

You look at her location, and without hesitation you walk, no - storm out of your apartment and run to her.

She's not far away, a bridge situated over a river only 5 minutes away, and you think you've never been so grateful for anything.

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to see anything while your clothes get wetter and wetter, the rain completly drenches you.

Again it feels like a cliché love drama.

Only maybe this time you have the chance to have a happy ending.

Your legs are burning from all the running as you arrive on the bridge.

"Jihyo!" you shout, the rain pattering loudly on the asphalt, forcing you to shout even louder for her.

Her bike is right next to her, one leg over the railing, her hands gripping it tightly, as if she's...

Scared?

"Y/n?" she answers, her voice low and shaky.

"Please..." you say as you walk slowly towards her.

She doesn't stop you when you take her hand in yours.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, she looks at you as a tear runs down her cheek.

"I-... I didn't want you to worry. I thought this feeling would go away if I didn't talk to anyone about it," she says.

Whether your face is wet from the rain or your tears, you don't know.

"Believe me, you have to talk to me, then it will get better," you say.

Her face comes closer to yours and, without answering, she kisses you.

You kiss her back, try to grab her so you can hold her closer - but she lets go.

Completely.

You slowly open your eyes, afraid of what you will see - but you see nothing.

No one.

The rain completely overwhelms you.

"No..." you whisper, looking down on the floor and picking up something shiny.

Her ring.

You look out over the railing and see the water turning slightly red.

It feels like you're trapped in a vicious circle, like you'll never find peace again.

You are trapped, with no way out.

-

While other people find the rain soothing, you find it to be more like torture.

While other people would stay indoors in weather like this, you're outside again.

Again in front of a grave.

But this time it's Jihyo's.

Everything feels too similar and you hate it more than anything.

"It's not your fault" is a sentence you started to hate.

You hoped so much that you would never have to hear or read it again.

"Why didn't you talk to me..." you whisper, as if she could hear you.

Your hand clutches the letter, it slowly getting soaked by the rain.

You don't dare to move.

"You knew what happened..."

All time does is passing -

"Why did you hide it from me..." Your voice is full of despair.

And all you ever do is grieve.

"Life without you is no way to live" the white flower falls on his grave -

just like her ring,

engraved with your name.

She helped you recover from Dahyun's death.

You just wish you wouldn't have to recover over her death alone now.

In another universe, you've seemed to found your place in Jihyo's arms.

In this universe, you're left alone,

again.

[imaginaryf1shots]

Doubt | Lewis Hamilton

WC: 4.1K

Lewis H. x reader

Summery:(REQUESTED) What happens when the news about Lewis move to Ferrari gets leaked and all eyes turn to you.

Warning: cursing? (Don't remember if there's any, but just incase be warned)

Masterlist

Lewis Masterlist

You've been in a relationship with Lewis for a little over two years, and it’s safe to say that they’ve been the best two years of your life. You couldn’t dream of a better boyfriend even if you tried, you don’t think you’ve shown Lewis or his fans any bad thing. You feel like you’ve always been friend;y with the fans, never responded to the hate you got for dating the 7 times world champion, and you’ve gotten a lot.

On February 1st you woke up to Lewis getting out of the bed, you blinked seeing him looking at his phone as he walked out of the room. His back is tense, you slip on Lewis’s shirt from the day before as you get out of the bed, you follow him out and see him pacing back and forth in the living room. You gave him a questioning look but he doesn’t give you any indication of what’s going on.

”-I just don’t understand how it’s already out.” Lewis says on the phone and you start to piece together what happened. “Only a few people know about the move.”

You close your eyes knowing how the media will eat this up and be all over the news analysing everything that ever happened and will happen this season, you go to the kitchen and put the kettle on for some tea, you also put some food in Rosco’s bowl. It takes Lewis another 10 minutes for him to finish the call. you go to his side with the tea, he gives you a thankful smile which you return.

“Who leaked it?” You ask him knowing that this is what’s going to be on his mind the most.

”We don’t know yet.” He groans and leans back on the sofa, his head tilted up, you rub his arms and lean in and press a kiss to his cheek.

”What will you do?” You ask him softly, not taking your eyes off him.

“Not address it for now, wait a bit to see what reactions the people will have.” Lewis says and you sigh.

”Okay, well don’t overthink it, it happened, we have under a month before the season starts, so let’s enjoy the last bit of your time off, come on, what do you feel like having for breakfast?”

“Hmm, anything you are I’ll love.” Lewis says with a smile leaning over, you kiss him softly on the lips and get up to head to the kitchen to start on breakfast.

*

you knew this wasn’t the end of it and that the teams will look into who leaked the news of Lewis’s move from Mercedes to the media, fans also were on it and had their theories and as the last bit of vacation came, they got wilder and wilder, the thing you truly didn’t expect os for the fans to turn their sights on you. those that hated you looked like they doubled with the amount of hate you’ve had on your socials, you’re being accused of everything under the sun, you’re being bullied and shamed for your looks, for not being trustworthy, for being a gold-digger and everything else under the sun. nothing really affected you from all that hate, as long as it;s coming from people that don’t know you, you believe that it’s done out of jealousy and want for what you have, they don’t know you so why would their words affect you? doesn’t mean you like it, or that it should happen in the first place, but you do slow down on your social media presence, but you don't sit and let it consume you, you continue living your life and let them talk.

Lewis and you are in England for the last preparation before the start of the season, he’s been super busy so you spent the last few days barely seeing him, spending your time with his family and your friends in the UK. so you’re a bit surprised when you get back from shopping with his mu, to see him on the sofa with his phone.

”Hey, when did you get back?” You ask, smiling, putting your bags to the side, and walking to his side.

”Two hours ago.” He says not looking up from his phone, you hum and lean in for a kiss but he moves last second so your lips fall onto his cheek instead, and before you could react he’s standing up and heading to the bedroom.

”Lew, is something wrong?” You ask and stand up following him slowly, confused, your brain goes over everything that has happened lately trying to find something wrong that you’ve done but coming up blank.

”No.” He says simply, you frown not believing him, he’s acting cold, it’s a stark contrast to his usual self, he goes to the closet and closes the door, you stand there nt knowing ahwaz to do, he didn't kiss you, left you in the icing room, is giving you one word answers, and closed the door to change all things he doesn’t do. you sit on the bed and put your head in your hands that are resting on your knees, there’s something definitely wrong, because why is this happening out of nowhere. You’re biting your lips, stressed and lost at the same time, when he comes out he’s dressed in a hoodie and sweats with the hood up covering part of his face.

“You’re leaving?” YOu ask him standing up, again he doesn’t look at you, another unusual thing.

”Yeah.” Is all you get.

”Where?”

”Out.”

”Oh.” It takes everything in you to get your eyes not to fill up with tears, but your vice is breathier and shakier. “When will you come back?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay, well have fun.” You manage to say before he’s out of the bedroom and out of the house. Why is he acting so… so asshole-y, nothing is making sense to you right now, there’s no reason for him to be this way, no reason, and even if there was something that you’ve done, you’re the kind of couple that are completely open with one another if something is bothering one of you then you talk it out, you don't just let it come between you because well most things are misunderstandings, and you need to be patient enough and understanding enough to talk it out. You debate calling someone to ask if something happened, but you’re also not the type to ask for outer help when it comes to your relationship, to outsiders they think that you’ve never had a fight or disagreement that you’re the perfect couple. You’re really private when it comes to the dynamic and the inner workings of your relationship.

Feeling frustrated and suddenly so alone, tears gather in your eyes and l eaves in waves, you sit in front of the bed leaning your back to it, and just let them flow. Rosco comes into the room and whines, he rubs up against you making you scratch and pet him the way he likes.

”Do you know what's wrong with daddy? hm? I didn't think so.” You mutter and smile as Rosco licks your hand. “I know, I know, I love you.”

You decide to stop crying and wait for Lewis to come back, because there must be a reason for him being like that and you just need to talk it out, you convince yourself that he went out for a breather and he’ll come back soon, but as the minutes turn into hours and there’s no sign of him coming back, you change into your pyjamas and head to bed. You don’t know how long you laid there, tossing and turning, covering and uncovering yourself. you’re still awake when Lewis eventually comes back,sitting up when he gets into the bedroom, you know he expected you to be asleep from the look on his face. Your eyes are slightly red making him soften up a little, but he’s mad, he’s upset and feels betrayed and it’s eating him up.

“Lew, can we please talk?” You ask hating how small you sound, this is not you at all. you’re always confident and sure of yourself, you’re not this small upset little girl. guess when it comes to the ones you love you’re everything you’re usually aren’t.

”Later.” Again with the one word answers, he changed again in the closet closing the door behind him. You know that if he doesn’t talk to you, you won’t be able to fall asleep, so you move to the end of the bed and wait for him until he comes back out.

”I think we should talk now.” You say standing up but don't move towards him, in fear or rejection.

”I don’t think so.” He says shaking his head and shrugging, still not looking at you.

”Well, it’s not just up to you.” You say frustrated, you’re not backing down until he tells you what you’ve done wrong, or what happened. “You’re in a relationship okay, this works both ways, and you can't just ignore me for no reason because you want to.”

“No reason?” He scoffs, sounding a bit amused before he changes his tone. “No reason, there is a reason, okay.” This is the first time he’s shown you any emotion today and you can’t be happy because it;s all anger coming out of his mouth at the moment and it’s completely unwarranted.

”Then what is the reason Lewis, because surprise! I don’t read minds, and we haven’t even seen each other that much these past few days, so please tell me what happened.” You plead with Lewis in desperation, another thing that doesn’t ever happen, you never plead or beg unless playfully and in the bedroom.

“I know okay, I know, you don’t have to act anymore, you can just tell me.” Lewis says leaving you even more confused.

“Tell you what? you haven’t even said anything, how am i supposed to know what to tell you when I don’t know myself, look Lewis this isn’t like you, we never solve things this way, I don’t know what has gotten into you but just tell me.” You sounded tired at this point, no further well to keep fighting after being ignored and talked to in cryptic words.

”The news about Ferrari-“ Lewis starts before he stops himself.

”What about it? What does that have to do with-“ It dawns on you what happened, the reason he’s refusing to talk to you, the reason he’s so cold and distant, the reason for the betrayed look on his face. You couldn’t help yourself, you laugh, you laugh and you laugh.”Fucking hell LEwis, I don’t believe you right now, I truly don’t”

”Do you deny it?” He asks and you laugh again, every time you laugh you know he gets annoyed but you don’t have it in you to care, you see it now, and it’s all over his face, he’s feeling cheated, like he was stabbed in the back, just betrayed.

”Why does it matter what I say? I mean you already decided that I did it, so why does it matter if I agree or not?” You ask him, shaking your head.

”Just answer me, did you tell the media?” He asked stepping half way closer and this time you step away, you turn and head into the closet. “Where are you going? I’m not done talking about this.”

”Well, I am.” You say closing the door in his face, quickly changing in a sweat set and taking a beak pack and put a few essentials in, when you open the closet door to head out you find Lewis waiting for you, but you ignore him and take your purse from the vanity.

”Wasn’t it you that said that we have to talk?” Lewis follows you and you sigh.

”Yes, and it was also you who ignored me.” Lewis gets in your way blocking the front door. “Lewis, love, look, if you doubt me then why are we even talking, I mean you believe the conspiracy theories that the fans spouted out as if we haven’t been together for years, you clearly don’t trust me to believe that I would do something like this, you have no trust in me.”

”So you’re going to do what? Leave?” Lewis asks and you sidestep him.

”What else am I supposed to do, stay and beg you to believe me? I’m not that kind of woman Lewis and if I was you wouldn’t have been with me in the first place.” You say and open the door to leave. “Once the season starts, I’ll come back to gather my things, same with Monaco, you son’s have to see me anymore.”

You close the door in his face and leave, Lewis stands there in silence and for the first time since he was told by someone in his team that it was you that did it, he’s starting to doubt it, yes you’re one of the only people who knew about his move, but you weren’t the only one. however his fans and his team, everyone is saying it’s you.

*

The season starts and you’re not in the paddock, something that is clearly noticed. In the last two years you’ve been at every first and last race along with as many as you could, you’re one of the wags that are at most of the races. All this rules the rumours but they’re just rumours as of now, there’s no way for anyone to actually know, you still follow each other, but you haven’t posted since you last saw Lewis. You’ve dropped off the face of the earth, gone MIA. LEwis sen you one text saying you can stay in his London house for as long as you needed, and that was it. He wasn’t cruel, he begged you to move in with him and he wasn’t about to leave you in the streets, but he knows you haven’t been there, the security system hasn’t been deactivated once.

Bahrain comes and goes and so does Jeddah and Lewis is missing you, he won’t admit it but he misses you like crazy, he’s so used to having you by his side. You’re always there to hug him and take care of him after a race, whether you’re physically there or you’re on facetime with him. His bed is cold when he gets in, he finds himself reaching to your side of the bed to pull you close only to find you not there and every time it kills him a little. He still feels betrayed but he misses you, he loves you and it makes it so much harder for him.

It’s been over a month and you still haven’t confirmed your breakup and you haven’t unfollowed each other, but the fans have taken your absence as a sight to confirm that it was you that leaked the information.

The truth always comes out, sometimes it’s instant, sometimes it takes a while, but eventually it does come out. So here you are sitting on the sofa at your parents’s house, where you've been since you left Lewis in February. The headlines are bold and clear, someone from Mercedes heard Toto and George talking about the move and sold the news to the media for a bit of money. Suddenly you’re trending on twitter(it’s not X) and flooded with apologies and ‘I believed you’ and ‘we were wrong’, but it doesn’t matter to you, you don't care. You turned off your phone and went to go find your mum to help her with dinner.

*

You don’t turn on your phone the next day, or the day after or the day after that. Feeling happy with the detox you’re having. you do wonder what’s going through LEwis’s mind thought, he now knows the truth as well, he knows that you had absolutely nothing to do with it and as much as you want it to fill you with joy that he’s proven wrong, it doesn’t. You’re still miserable and hurt, you’re so hurt by him believing that it physically hurts you, you lost a big piece of you that day, the piece that you had given Lewis, the part that he promised to take care of to protect to love and he broke that promise, you thought, you believed the he’s different but he didn’t believer you in the end, he didn’t even ask you.

It’s a Wednesday night when someone rings the front door bell, you’re in your room and don’t move knowing one of your parents will answer the door.

”y/n!” Your mum calls for you, you get up from your childhood bed and go to see what she wants, walking into the living room you stop in your tracks seeing Lewis standing in front of you. You look at your mum and dad, your dad had an annoyed look on his face, you haven’t told them what had happened and they didn’t ask, but it doesn’t take a genius to guess with you turning up at their door one random day with a bag and no explanation.

”Hi.” Lewis says and takes you in, dressed in one of your lounge sets with your hair in a messy bun, but looking oh so beautiful, he missed you so much, he missed everything about you. You stand there not knowing what to do, you haven’t expected him to turn up, you haven’t been to Monaco to get your things yet, but you cleared your stuff from his London house and into a storage until just a week ago.

”Do you want him to stay?” Your dad asks and you know that if you said no, he;d kick Lewis out, no questions asked.

”No, no it’s okay.” You mutter and give your dad a small smile, your parents nod and leave the living room and go to the garden, you know for a fact it’s an effort for them not to eavesdrop on your conversation if they’re in the house.

Once they’re out you turn to look at Lewis and you see the bags under his eyes, you know he hasn’t been sleeping well, he hasn’t for a while, you could tell even from the TV. “Sit down.” You gesture for him to sit on the sofa, he follows your instructions and you sit across from him, placing your hands between your legs.

“I uh, I tried calling you.” Lewis says sounding nervous, you’re both acting like you haven’t been in a relationship for over two years and understandingly so, the last time you talked Lewis was hurt about the thought of you betraying him and now, he’s here because you never did but he betrayed you by doubting you and that hurt you and it missed him up. The guilt is eating him up, he came here knowing there’s a big chance you wouldn’t take him back and forgive him, but there’s a bit of hope inside of him and he’s willing to take that risk and try, he’d get on his knees if he had to.

”I turned my phone off a few days ago, it was all a bit too much.” You say and bite at your lip, not looking at Lewis for too long, you haven’t cried since you left him that day, but you feel like you’re about to cry now if you keep looking at him too long.

”I’m sorry about that.” Lewis says and you shrug.

”It is what it is.” You mutter, giving him a tight lipped smile. “Can’t do anything about it.”

”I could’ve but I didn’t, y/n, love, I’m so sorry, I’m truly sorry, I wish I could take it all back.” Lewis says his voice heavy and full of regret. “There’s no excuse for what I’ve done, and I should’ve stood up for you online and for my team. I feel terrible and I don’t blame you for being upset and mad at me.”

”I’m not mad.” You say tears leaving your eyes, you have to look away, your jaw clenching and unclenching, you sniff before you look back at him. “I’m hurt Lewis you doubting me is what hurts the most, I don’t care that you didn’t stand up for me online or any of that stuff, but you were so cold to me and you didn’t even talk to me about it like you usually do, you ignored me and the accused me, you were so cruel.”

”I know, and it’s my biggest regret, I don’t want to lose you, those weeks without you have been the worst and you’ve been, you've been too kind to me, you can yell if you want, curse me, hit me, tell me how messed up I am, just-just give me a chance, give us a chance.” Lewis moves to the coffee table so he’s close to you and there's no escaping his eyes now, the ones you missed so much the last few weeks. “Don;t forgive me yet, wait until I’ve earned it, but don’t shut me out, I’d do anything you want, apologise a hundred times if you want just please.”

“I don’t know Lewis, just as you felt betrayed when you thought I leaked it, I feel betrayed because of how you were.” You say pushing your tears away with the back of your hand, your lips red from all the biting you were doing to not sob. “I love you with all of my heart, but I still feel so hurt, it physically pains me to know you;d think of me like that, that I’d be capable of betraying your trust in me.”

”It was a moment of weakness, believe me darling, it would never ever happen again, never, I love you so much and being away from you is much worse than anything I’ve even been through.” Lewis says and takes your hand in both of his, they’re warm and conferring, you take in the details of his tattoos, the ones you usually take when you’re lost in thought or board, the ones that hold you and pull you close, the ones that pull you for randomly dancing because he just felt like it, the ones you missed so much. You stay silent lost in thought, you know you still love Lewis and you want to get back with him, but something like this can’t be forgotten easily. Lewis gets on his knees moving even closer to you. “I’m begging you my love please, just give us a chance, and if at any point you feel like you can’t forgive me then that’s it, I’ll let you go, no matter what I feel.”

You sigh, closing your eyes and resting your forehead on his, your hand cupping his cheek, feeling his beard, his skin, feeling him.

“Okay.” You breath, your voice is barely a whisper, Lewis thinks he may have misheard or imagined it. “Okay, let’s try to move on from this, but, but it’ll take time for both of us to heal.”

”I know, and I’ll wait for you and help you heal, as much time as you need.” Lewis pulls away to kiss your forehead feeling like a kiss on the lips might be too much right now. “Can I hug you?”

”Please.” Lewis stands up pulling you in for a much needed hug, you stand there for a long time, not saying anything just holding each other. Basking in the comfort of finlay being in each other’s arms again, you’re home.

*

It takes a while for things to get back how it was, you still were offline, and there has been no sightings of you with Lewis anywhere, everyone assumed that your relationship has ended and that you’ve both went your separate ways, but you’ve been working on your relationship and on yourselves, taking all the time you needed to heal and come out stronger than you were before.

So it takes everyone by surprise when you turn up to the paddock in Monaco hand in hand with Lewis, the fans go crazy with the news, the true ones over the roof with happiness. You do have to admit that you missed the paddock and the excitement and the rush that comes with it. You and Lewis aren’t big on PDA, but pictures of you two holding hands, hugging and sharing a couple kisses are all over the internet by the time the weekend comes to an end.

[cheqorb]

More Between Us.

You’ve always been just friends, but they can’t ignore how their heart races whenever you’re near.

FEAT. Isagi, Bachira

NOTES. probably my most tooth-rotting post yet! annnd I totally forgot I had this in my drafts Bring this duo back to me though pleasj

ISAGI is easygoing, and mild-mannered by nature (though perhaps his rivals disagree on that). It’s literally harder to not be friends with him. Your relationship was equally good, nothing particularly special and not abysmal. The type of friends who might talk on the way to class if you spot each other, but never go out of their way to do so either.

If asked, you wouldn’t even say best friends; he’s too busy with his teammates, and you have your own friend group.

See, Isagi enjoys thinking about stuff in a logical sense, using reason and evidence to support his ‘theory’. Both in real life and in football.

So before he even comes to the conclusion of a crush, firstly, there’s the small details he picks up about you.

Your eyes shift colour slightly if the sun hits them right. But, he reckons that happens with everyone’s eyes. Your eyes crinkle upwards when you smile, and maybe even dimples form on your cheeks as you do so. He likes seeing people smile, and yours is… in a way, cuter than anyone else’s? If he had to rank smiles, he’d put yours near the top. All hypothetical, obviously!

He’s always been observant, even as a kid, so Isagi figured he was just feeling a little more insightful as of late but it doesn’t stop there.

Suddenly, Isagi finds himself unconsciously lingering in places he knows you'll be. He tells himself it's just coincidence, but deep down, he has a feeling that he’s seeking you out more often.

Practicing with his team becomes a lot more strategic, with him making sure he's near your usual route home (not in a stalker way, at least, he hopes not), and just on time so that he can ‘bump into you’ and walk together.

And he lives in the complete opposite direction, so, while you don’t mind his presence, you find it a little odd.

Isagi begins to remember every little thing you mention, even the small stuff, like your favorite snack or the song you've been listening to on repeat. Next thing you know, he’s casually surprising you with them, acting like it’s no big deal but loves it when you get visibly excited about it.

He fumbles with his words a little more around you now, overthinking simple things that never used to bother him. It’s not like he’s shy (actually one of the best communicators out of everyone), he just doesn’t want to mess up or make you think he’s weird!

If he says something that could be interpreted as mildly creepy, he’s actually the first one to call it out and apologise over and over again. Beats himself up about it at home, even if you thought it was mildly funny that he knew what you were doing last week Tuesday at around 5:06PM…

When his teammates joke about him having a crush, he laughs it off, but there’s always a little pink in his cheeks that he hopes you don’t notice.

He'll start texting you first more often, just to share something funny or ask for your opinion on something trivial. It’s an excuse, really, just to have another reason to talk to you.

Also catches himself smiling whenever he sees a notification from you pop up on his phone, and his heart does a little flip when he reads your replies, no matter how mundane they are. Literally a “hey, I’m bored. Wanna hang out” is enough for him to lose sleep over it.

When you two do eventually go to said hang out, he pays extra attention to you: whether it's making sure you’re comfortable, or that you’ve got enough to eat, he’s always subtly looking out for you.

Despite all these signs, Isagi convinces himself it’s better this way — giving you small hints for you to understand rather than straight-up confessing. If you notice them and accept, great! If you notice and don’t accept, that’s fine too, he hopes you can remain friends though!

If you’re completely oblivious, well… he’ll muster up the courage to say it outright.

You and BACHIRA are like two peas in a pod together! Where there’s one, the other’s probably lurking nearby somewhere. Every second of every day seems to be spent with each other (and to anybody with common sense, you two already look like you’re dating).

When the crush starts, he thinks about you more than he already did, if that were even possible. Every little thing you do seems to make his heart race, but he sorta brushes it off as just excitement from being with his best friend.

Kind of a trickier situation than Isagi’s one this way though, because now you’re so close, Bachira doesn’t even feel that different about you. He might not even realise it’s romantic until his mother points it out in the midst of another one of his rambling sessions. About you, that is.

I won’t sugarcoat it; he’s nervous if anything. You’re one of the few friends he has and genuinely seem to care and like about him and if he ruins your friendship over his feelings, he’d be devastated.

But he’s back to his usual self and gains a little confidence after some encouragement from others!

Bachira’s clinginess ramps up a notch, but it’s so typical of him that you might not even notice. He’s constantly draping an arm around you, leaning on you, or just being in your personal space as much as possible.

Willing to share anything and everything with you. For example, if it’s snacks he’s got, he’s always picking out the best pieces just for you and handing them over with a cute smile.

Bachira finds himself staring at you a lot more now. Sometimes you’ll catch him and he’ll just laugh it off with a playful comment, but on the inside, his mind is racing with thoughts he can’t quite put into words.

When you talk, he listens with full attention, his usual playful demeanor softening into something more tender. He hangs onto your every word like it’s the most important thing he’s ever heard — and you could literally be talking about a bug you saw on the sidewalk this morning.

If you ever need anything, Bachira’s the first one to jump in and help, no questions asked. He’d go out of his way just to make you smile, even if it means a truckload of extra effort on his part.

Sometimes, he hints at deeper feelings in his usual roundabout way — in little jokes that might just have a hint of truth behind them. But he always plays it off as just that, a joke.

If you’re feeling down, he’s the first to notice, offering comfort in the form of goofy antics or just sitting with you in silence if that’s what you want.

If you ever confront him directly and ask if he feels something more than just being friends, Bachira might just spill everything in a rush of words; unable to keep his feelings hidden any longer. But until then, he’s content simply being by your side, even if it means he isn’t being entirely honest to himself.