#then went to a concert w my sister :')
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How are you feeling these days?
ngl bestie, it's been kinda rough in the starlightkun household lately
#that chronic illness rlly do be chronic...and ill#and work has been sucking extra hard lately....just some nasty stuff has been coming across my desk lately#but this is all sandwiched in between some really good stuff!!#again the concert i went to last week was so much fun#and im going on a week long trip w my sister in a couple weeks!!!!#we're going to denver to visit some family and see the sights!!!!!!#so thats gonna be so much fun#but man.......in the meantime we r rlly just focusing on one foot in front of the other#hope youve been doing better than me <33#answered#anonymous#talk#text#mine#not nct#ignore.mel
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today was actually such a good day sometimes I feel like happiness just isnt in the cards for me but thats not true its always in the cards its just not every card
#mews speaks#stream of consciousness posting#got kolaches w my siblings#then went to a farmers market#then went to a concert w my sister :')#sweetsie cutesie#gratitudeposting
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hozier concert debrief . go
genuinely hozier is the most ethereal being i’ve ever witnessed in my life i may have questioned my sexuality for him once or twice but ANYWAY he’s so chill and talented and he didn’t play my fav from his new album (icarrion) but he literally brought out lucy dacus to sing it with him at another show like okay he basically just said fuck you emily 😔 also the girl that opened for him was giving MAJOR cult vibes i was very weirded out she kept using the terms “circle sister” and “chosen sister” about her band mates i was like should we even be here rn … but other than that i enjoyed myself it was so fun !!! he’s so beautiful
#my pictures suck sorry i’m one of those people that don’t like phones out during concerts + i have bad camera skills#but fr i had such a fun time !!!! and everyone there definitely looked like they should be at a hozier concert#and i got merchhh yayyyy#also he played take me to church it was an experience 💯💯 i loved it#but i went with my sister her gf and one of their friends that i don’t rlly like#and i had to sit next to the girl i don’t rlly like 😢 hozier come save me#but yeah i wish you were there you would’ve loved it!!!!!#i upgraded my ticket and sold the old one but i can’t get the money cause ticketmaster#is asking for a tax seller number ??? idk i couldn’t figure it out but i’ll live#i’m so sad you’re no longer in virginia but i hope you enjoyed your time here !!!! how’s things going w school and girlfriend?? UPDATEEE#ask#betsy boop
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Hmm pvris is touring again but the nearest they're coming is Manchester and idk if I can be arsed going to Manchester again
#i mean i did see them three times last year and its not like theyve released anything new since i last saw them#maybe if i can get a mate to come with me but im not that arsed i might see nearer the time if theres any tix left lmao#cause the first 2 times last year my dad took me and the last time i went w my sister but theyre not rlly into pvris so its not fair lmao#and manchester is just suuuch a pain in the arse like its not far its just so awkward to get in and out of?#like the roads are so weird and confusing especially late at night in the dark#i wish concerts were at like 2pm cause then it wouldnt be a bother but trying to navigate that weirdo fucking roundabout#that leads onto the motorway at like 11.30pm when its pissing down rain is just 😭 not good and we ALWAYS get lost trying to come out of#the little side road by the ao arena that we usually park in esp cause theres so much traffic AND THERE'S RATS 😭#i mean i dont think theyre in the ao but theyre all pretty close together i think idk i saw them in jan in the academy and thats#more or less down the road from the ao iirc so yeah its hard to drive there u have to either park in the arse end of nowhere with the rats#or pay like a million pound in parking and i have no one that would actually come willingly with me djhdjs so i might just leave it#& i know i could get the train but i dont trust them tbh ive trained there twice in my life and i was terrified both times that our train#would get cancelled and we'd be stranded in fucking Manchester of all the godforsaken places#ellies shitchats
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Toji as a bodyguard
Til’ the Day that I Die
Summary: You’re a popstar in need of a bodyguard when you find yourself with a stalker. That’s how you meet Fushiguro Toji, you’re insanely hot bodyguard. Who knows how to push your buttons, and get you feeling flustered. Just how far is he willing to go to protect you? And how far would you go to protect him?
Pairing: Bodyguard!Fushiguro Toji x AFAB!Reader
Warnings: mentions of stage right, performance, anxiety, stalking, panic attacks, language mentions of gun, (eventual smut)
Word Count: 4.5K
A/N: this request is amazing!! It got my brain worms going! Once again, this will be a multi part series, I’m looking at a total of four parts as I have already planned down the whole story. I’m sorry for the lack of content, it’s been a rough few days and I just decided to take some time for myself! But I do have about four stories almost done so you can expect updates for the rest of the week! Love you all!! (Readers' stage persona is highly inspired by several artists! 😊)
Part Two Part Three Part Four
Performance anxiety is defined as an excessive feeling of fear related to being able to perform well. Symptoms of performance anxiety include pulse racing, rapid breathing, dry mouth, and throat tightness. Dealing with performance anxiety when you're a rising star is brutal, and you begin to regret all your life choices. You aren't sure if you want this to be your life. You were attending nursing school, but your sister posted a video of you singing online. Reading all the sweet comments was fun initially, but it's funny how fast things change.
One second, you were posting a few videos of you singing, and the next thing you knew, you had a record deal, your songs were on the radio, and you were performing at concerts. All in the span of six months. The attention was overwhelming, and, at times, your anxiety even worse. But the more you performed, the more you were able to bury the stage fright down, masking the fear with a persona you made until you were home in your apartment. In the confines of your home, you could cry and tremble; dealing with those attacks was something you’d gotten used to.
But your stalker was a whole new fucked up mess you never dreamed about dealing with.
It had started as nothing more than a couple of love letters that turned into more descriptive letters detailing information about your personal life you had never told anyone. Anytime you saw a letter come in with ‘M’ written on the front and dark gray ink, your stomach twisted. You at first thought you would be okay. You could handle something like this. This was the kind of thing that came along with the territory of being famous.
That was until a bouquet of roses was dropped off at your door in your guarded apartment building. That whole situation sent you into a full-blown panic attack. You left your apartment and went to stay with your friends. That incident caused your manager to contact Kong Security Services and hire you as a bodyguard. One, you were anxiously waiting to meet as you sat in your dressing room before your show.
“It’s going to be fine, I promise.” Nanako, your makeup artist, assured you as she fixed your blush. “Geto said this agency is the best in the business.”
You shot her a skeptical look while her twin sister fixed your hair. “Are you just saying that because your dad’s are my managers, and they told you to say that?” When both twins had ceased their movements in obvious shock at your to-the-point accusation.
“W-What—?”
“No, never!”
“Uh-huh—I don’t believe a word either of you are saying right now.”
Nanako steps back, looks you over, and bites her lip. “They really are the best, whether or not we get to go out for Boba after this. It’s not like sweet milk tea is on the line if we don’t ease your nerves.” Just as your sweet young makeup artist finishes, the door to your dressing, eyes darting towards the door as it swings further open. Suguru and his husband, Satoru, enter, displaying their matching black-and-white wedding rings. They were the best management company in the world, the power couple of Tokyo. Satoru, who was in charge of your social media accounts, types viciously on his phone while Suguru grins up at a man walking in with them.
If you could even call him a man.
A fucking mountain of muscle is a more appropriate way of describing him. He’s tall, has dark hair and navy blue eyes, and he’s fit. The mountain wore a tailored jacket and white button-down shirt with the first two buttons undone. His eyes leave Geto’s for a minute to watch you sinking further in your chair, his pink tongue running over the scar down the corner of the right side of his mouth.
“Hun, this is Fushiguro Toji,” Suguru announced before glancing at his phone. “He’s your bodyguard and will be with you everywhere you go.”
“E-Everywhere?”
“Yes, to rehearsals, your shows, meet-and-greets, he’ll even escort you home.” Your eyes rammed back over to the mountain of a man standing off to the side. When you have time off, or he needs a day away, his work partner Tsukumo Yuki will take over for him.”
You swallowed hard, fingers twitching, a subtle action your new bodyguard noticed immediately as you dug your fingers into your skirt. It was part of Toji‘s job to see behaviors and be observant. He could tell you were on edge from how your fingers twitched to how your pulse raced in your neck. His handler, Shiu, had warned him that you were an anxious mess after finding out about your stalker. But this anxiety didn’t come from just having a stalker. This anxiety was deeply rooted in you. It was probably something you had suffered with for years.
Without being told, Toji stepped forward, kneeling before you, giving you a gentle smile like a father would give a frightened child. He had to put your nerves at ease to let you know you would be okay. “I know you’re scared, but I can assure you that I am very skilled. You won’t even notice I’m around.” You weren’t sure about that. How could you not notice the handsome man who would always be around you?
“Right, thank you.”
“You’re welcome--”
“Ugh! We gotta get going; they expect you on stage in five minutes.”
“I-I s-shou—” you stuttered as the performing anxiety began to root itself into your already anxious demeanor.
“Yep, let’s get going.” Toji stood motioning towards the door of the dressing room. “After you, Miss.”
Being a bodyguard and a security escort for so long had allowed Toji to pick up on specific cues from people, like how their eyes moved around the room or how their body language told him what they were feeling. The way your fingers were twitching, he knew you were nervous and scared, and he wasn’t sure if it was stage fright or something to do with your stalker.
Regardless of whether you wanted to go up there, it didn’t change the fact that thousands of people were already waiting for you to perform. As you both walked down the hall, Tojo noticed you took a deep breath and exhaled through your nose, and as you turned the corner, you put on a huge smile. The way you put in a mask so fast nearly sent Toji stumbling back. He was usually prepared for the unexpected, but seeing this scared, shaking woman shift into a bubbly pop star rocked him back.
Everyone you encountered smiled wide at your perky voice and demeanor. You truly lit up the whole room. “Alright, guys! Thank you for all your hard prep! Now, let’s have a great show tonight!” You were handed a jeweled microphone and placed on a platform to lift you to the main stage, but before you gripped the handles to steady yourself, Toji grabbed your hand. “Oh, Fushiguro?”
“I'll be on the side, watching you. If you need me or notice something's off, you should give me a sign.”
“A sign? Like a signal?”
“Yeah, something easy and inconspicuous.”
You thought for a second, that perky look still on your face, but Toji could see the anxiety behind your eyes. “Well, I wink a lot during my shows and throw a heart sign up.” Toji hummed, pursing his lips together.
“Well, if you don't want to alarm your fans, how about this.” he took your hand, putting your middle and ring finger down. Your thumb, pinky, and pointer finger were left extended.
“Oh, the sign for ‘I love you’!”
“Only use this if you need me on stage. Otherwise, do what you normally do, but know I’ll be right there if you need me.”
There was a flicker of fear in your eyes, which probably would go unnoticed by many different people, but it was one that he could see clearly as day. “Right, thank you, Fushiguro.” Your new bodyguard looked at you as he scoffed, shaking his head.
“Toji, just call me Toji. There is no need for formalities. Have a good show, Miss.”
“R-Right, thank you, Toji.”
Your new bodyguard watched as the platform began to lift, taking you up to the stage where fans were screaming your name. Taking a deep breath before smiling, your bodyguard watched you reach the top before the band blaring music as you began singing into your microphone. The beat of the music rang in his ears; Toji ran for the stairs that led him to the stage, where he could watch you from the side.
There, Toji found your managers standing on the sidelines, watching you. Upon looking at you, he met a woman who looked nothing like the girl he had just spoken to moments before. You danced, sang, smiled, and winked at the crowd. Multicolored lights flashed as fog from the fog machine flooded the stage, and the backup dancers moved in sync with each other. I think this is poor, who was shaking upon meeting him.
“Yeah, crazy to see her shift, isn’t it?” Geto asked before pulling his phone out and snapping a few photos of you as you sang. “She’s like a different person.”
“Like? I hate to be the one to break this to you, Geto, but that woman is a completely different person. Why the fuck is she masking?”
The white-haired man glared at Toji, his sunglasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. “She’s not masking; it's called a stage persona.” The annoyance was clear in the other man’s voice, a tone that crawled its way under his skin.
“Look, buddy, keep your terms to yourself. I don't care about the different terms. All I know is that woman—” he jabbed his thumb in your direction as you twirled around the stage. “is masking; that’s not who she is.”
“You don’t know a lot about the entertainment industry. This is something that a lot of celebrities do. It’s completely normal, and she knows that. That’s how she adapted so fast.”
Toji wasn’t sure if that was the case. He had seen you firsthand, shaking in your dressing room. To see you change drastically for the sake of a show? Toji could see why you would be nervous to go up on stage. There had to be a fear of your mask slipping, revealing your true persona to the world.
But Satoru was right; Toji’s job was to protect and ensure you were safe. It wasn’t his place to judge how you lived or worked your career. In the end, you were just like all the other popstar divas and clients he had had before. Rich people with too much money to throw around and fame led them to believe that they were in danger all the time, which is how he managed to keep a steady income for himself and his kids as long as they were rich snobs like you, Tojo was guaranteed to have a job.
Instead of continuing to argue with your overzealous manager, Toji crossed both arms over his chest and watched you closely. The sooner the show was over, the sooner he could get you back to your apartment, where he could call to check on Megumi. He just wanted to relax, and for all he knew, you and your managers were overreacting to this so-called stalker you had. If anything, this might’ve been some cruel prank; receiving a note to roses wasn’t that big of a deal, and this was way too easy for as much as he was getting paid, so he wasn’t going to bitch about it.
What he did want to bitch about was how fucking long your show went on for. Performed for about two hours straight, only taking breaks to change costumes throughout the performance. It was in those moments when you were changing that your mask slipped. He could see the exhaustion in your eyes and how you wanted to do nothing more than take a break. But as fast as that mask slipped, you had it back on instantly. When one costume was off, and the other slipped on, you were back on stage to sing the next song.
After about two hours and thirty minutes of this bullshit, you gave a final bow and blew kisses out at the crowd of strangers who were cheering your name. While the two hours he got to stand up to the side and watch you perform was easy, he only had to look for your signal if you needed help; getting you out of the arena safely was a whole different story. Everything moved so fast The second you stepped off that stage and towards your bodyguard.
After every show, the goal was the same: get changed as fast as possible, collect your stuff, which Nanako and Mimiko had already packed, and get in your limo before the crowd started heading towards your exit. Toji gently placed his hand on the small of your back, ushering you through the maze of halls that led you back to the dressing room, where, just like you knew, the girls had packed all your stuff.
“You got five minutes to change,” Suguru announced as Satoru snickered behind his husband. “Thanks to Satoru, you’re trending again for your newest song.”
Toji could see the minutey, perky personality shift into your more anxious state. You frowned, literally frowned, at the news. Most people would be jumping over the moon to hear it. Seeing such an ungrateful expression on your face had Toji resist the urge to roll his eyes into his skull.
Spoiled little brats, you rich folks were all the same.
“Did you make sure to tag the—“
“Are you insinuating that I don’t know who to tag or which hashtags to use? Babes, I've got you covered. When have I ever let you down?”
“Never.”
“Right, so let the best PR manager handle this.”
Toji sighed, glancing towards his watch. “Two minutes,” he announced to the room of people bouncing off the walls and collecting items to clean up the green room. How could your managers be talking about more brand deals at a time like this? Brand deals were bullshit, but knowing how popular you were with the teenagers and you probably had some make-up deal or some other shit that would make you all the richer, you had to make sure the right people were tagged so you continued to be sponsored. But there was a time and place for that, and now wasn't the right time!
“I know you're the best Satoru, but I still wanna make sure the word gets out there.” You stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in black leggings and a simple T-shirt. Completely different from the baby doll dresses you were wearing on stage. “It’s imperative—”
“I know. I’ve already posted it. Everyone’s been tagged accordingly, and the hashtags are in place. You’ll get lots of people to see this, trust me.”
You were slipping on your baseball cap and sunglasses when Toji’s large hand gently grabbed you by the shoulder. “We gotta get going,” you sighed before nodding, waving off your team, and falling Toji down the hall to where your car awaited you.
Thanks to your quick change, nobody was waiting for you outside, making your getaway from the arena smooth as butter. You just wished you felt as calm as your exit from the bustling stage had been. You were beginning to regret going back to your apartment. You hadn’t been back there since the roses were delivered to your door. Going back was going to be difficult, leaving your stomach swarming with anxiety. But at least you had a big mountain of a man to protect you if, god forbid, you needed help.
The entire ride back to your apartment complex was thankfully quiet. Toji sat on the other side of you, staring out the window, not making any conversation, which was a blessing. Not only was your throat sore from the amount of singing you had done, but the idea of sitting through a conversation run solely by small talk was almost as bad as your performance anxiety. Sitting in the back of the car, leaning your head against the window without worrying about smiling or acting perfect in front of strangers, was a breath of fresh air.
Being alone with your bodyguard made you feel like you could let your walls come down for the first time in a long time. It was a feeling you might as well get used to. He would be around most of the time, so instead of adorning the perfect, pretty mask you always wore, you could be the introverted true version of yourself. Knowing that you could relax, you shut your eyes, allowing yourself to doze off as the car smoothly headed down the freeway.
If only your dreams were smooth and calm like the car ride. Your dreams were filled with mysterious notes and roses you had once loved. They circled you, drowning you in paper and petals as a roaring crowd rang through your ears. You could fight against the tidal waves, but instead, you let them wash over you, allowing yourself to be crushed by the unbearable weight of being a star at times.
Nursing school wasn’t easy, but at least when you were in school, you didn’t have to worry about a mysterious bouquet showing up on your apartment doorstep or sneaking out to avoid getting seen and swarmed by your fans. Your biggest concern in school was getting good grades and doing everything possible to get your degree. The only things you had to worry about were study dates and pop quizzes, not ominous letters that made you fearful for your safety.
These nightmares were so vivid that you wished your family had heard you singing online. Was it too much to ask for a normal everyday life where you weren't constantly stressed?
You sighed, looking up at the lingering rays of light that slowly began to peek through. More envelopes and roses piled on the cocoon you were stuck in. Perhaps there was no going back. This might very well be the rest of your life. Just as you were shutting your eyes to the casket you were being buried in, a hand reached out from the top of the mountain of dread and anxiety you lived with, reaching for you.
You couldn’t make out who was reaching out to you, but you were sure they just wanted to help you. Without hesitation, you reached for that hand, brushing over their fingertips. Just when they clasped your hand to pull you out of the burial ground, you were jn. You gasped as someone shook you, waking you from the dream.
You sat up quickly, shaking as you met Tojo’s navy blue eyes. He was frowning, motioning towards the rolled-down window, and Ijichi, head of security for your building, leaned in, giving you a weak smile. With a quick rub to both your eyes, you placed your mask back on, going from the sleep-deprived woman you were transforming into the perky popstar everybody knew and loved.
“Ijichi! Hi!”
“Hi yourself, glad to have you back.”
Toji could see how your shoulders stiffened when you mentioned being back. “Oh, yep! It's good to be back.” Toji could see through your facade, while Ijichi was blind to it.
“I just wanted to let you know that we added more cameras to the building, and my security post will be far stricter with deliveries and anything else from this point on. We want you to feel safe here, and I’m sorry we failed to do that in the first place.”
“Oh no, it’s not your fault! Plus, I feel a lot better now that I have Fushiguro!” The man with glasses peered into the car, waving at your bodyguard whose face remained stoic, not returning the gesture. “Okay, uhm Ijichi, Toji; Toji Ijichi.”
No pleasantries were exchanged, not at all. The only thing Toji managed to do was give him a nod before focusing his attention back on the massive building and making a mental note to ask for access to the cameras. That way, he could keep an eye on you and ensure nobody was hanging around who wasn't supposed to be there. Those thoughts Toji was lost in made it a tranquil ride up the elevator to your apartment. He was leaving you feeling even more anxious. Usually, being around someone quiet never bothered you; you felt so relaxed around that person, but Toji’s cold demeanor and attitude toward your friend made you irritable.
“So, uhm, are you going to be that cold and standoffish every time you meet somebody I know?” You asked, finally allowing your heart mind to win over your mind.
“Huh?”
His dark gaze had you swallowing the lump suddenly in your throat. “I wanted to ask if this is going to be normal, you being—.”
“Oh, I am so sorry little star; I wasn't aware I needed to wear a fake ass mask around people too.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, and unfortunately, unlike you, I like wearing my face. I don’t have to be someone I’m not to get people to like me. Because quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if anybody likes me.”
“I don't eit—”
Toji scoffed, leaning against the elevator wall and shaking his head at your words. “Oh, please. You’re just like every other client I’ve had. All you care about is money, your appearance, and what sponsor deals you get.” His words made your blood begin to boil.
“You’ve barely known me for a couple of hours, and you think you know who I am?”
“Oooh yeah, you're some small-town girl that made it big. And instead of showing the world who you really are, you put on this fucking mask, one that hides the true you from the prying eyes of the world. You care only about ticket sales, making your fans happy, and sponsorships like the one you were talking about with your manager not even thirty minutes ago. So yeah, I’m sure I got a good idea of who you are. It’s my job to read people..”
This was the best security in the business; bodyguard your manager had set you up with? Ha! Yeah, right, this man was nothing more than a dickhead that had a lot of opinions that were far from true?!
You laughed, pushing yourself away from the wall to stand in front of the doors before him. “That's the great thing about wearing a mask around people I don’t fucking know. They get to see the real me, but I get to see people for who they truly are.” Toji opened his mouth to continue arguing with you, but only for you to quickly shut him down, holding a hand up before you. “You were right about a couple things; I do put on a mask, I love my fans, but I could give a damn about sponsorships.” Toji pushed himself off the wall, towering over you, gritting his teeth as he tried to control his evident anger.
“Oh, you suddenly don’t give a damn about sponsorships? I just heard you talking to your manager about one.”
“You don’t know anything about me! That whole conversation had nothing to do with this sponsorship!”
Tojo tilted his head back with a laugh. “Oh, right, of course. You don’t care about your amazing condo or all the money you’re making; you don’t care about those so-called nonexistent sponsorship deals.” The elevator rattled like the lid to the rage threatening to explode.
“Alright, yes, I do live in a nice apartment, one with security that sucks, but it’s still home. But for your information, I don’t do this for the money. You don’t know what I have planned on doing with my life, so I don’t want to hear you make assumptions about me! The conversation you so rudely eavesdropped on had nothing to do with a sponsorship deal but a massive donation I’m making to the local Children’s Hospital. The same hospital is well renowned for helping unfortunate children. So yeah, that whole conversation you listened to was me telling my manager to tag the hospital in my video because the hospital inspired the song! It was a public service announcement, a reminder to help those who can’t help themselves.”
Your rant was unexpected. Toji had never had one of his clients talk to him like that; strangely, he liked it.
“And another thi—”
The doors to the elevator slowly slid open with a ding as you reached your apartment. Usually, your automatic lights would be on in the living room and kitchen, leading upstairs. But as the doors opened, no lights illuminated your bodyguard's face. You knew something was wrong, and just before Toy could look over your shoulder into the apartment,Toji’s hand quickly covered your eyes. He pulled you into his chest, and he listened in as he smashed on the lobby button on the button panel.
“Toji!?” You asked, placing your hands on top of his. “What is it?! Is something wrong? Let me see!”
Toji shook his head as if you could see his reaction, his hand reaching for the gun at the holster on his side as the door slowly shut. There was no way in hell you were going to see what was behind the door. Because he knew if you were to see what had happened in your apartment, you would never be the same. As the elevator slowly began to descend, Toji realized that he had been wrong about your stalker. It wasn’t some harmless joke.
This was fucking serious.
(TBC)
Forever Tag List:
@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @luvsymai
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My late 40s to early 50s boss just asked what’s wrong with 18-25 year olds these days
And as a 21 year old all I could think was
The world has been on fire since we were born and we’ve been told the adults are putting it out and now we’re old enough to realize they’ve been pouring kerosene on the flames instead of water.
Before my first birthday, 9/11 happened and the world wouldn’t let us forget it. When I was 6 years old, on September 11th, my teacher sat us down in front of a tv and showed us footage of 9/11 and then told us we weren’t allowed to cry. She said that it was real and those were real people jumping from the building because jumping was a faster death than burning.
When I was 7 years old, the economy collapsed and my family went from lower middle class to poverty, we went from healthy home cooked meals every night to mac and cheese and beans for weeks in a row. We started skipping holidays because mom and dad couldn’t keep the lights on and buy us new toys. We started wearing clothes and shoes until they fell apart.
When I was 11 years old, Sandy Hook was attacked by a grown man with a gun and 26 children and teachers were brutally murdered. My teachers never looked at us the same and I haven’t felt safe in a school since. After that, once a month we would have active shooter drills and we were taught to fight and cause as much damage as possible if an armed man entered our classroom because it gave other classes a few extra seconds to escape, it gave our siblings a few extra breaths of safety. We were taught to cover ourselves in other students blood and play dead if we weren’t hit, we were taught that we weren’t safe and we wouldn’t be safe as long as we were in school.
When I was 15 years old, my high school art teacher locked us in the classroom and told us if we heard gunshots we should line the desks up lengthwise so that they reached the other wall because that would be harder to break through than a barricade. She told us that she knew about the threats and she wouldn’t judge any of us that wanted to leave. She told us to get our siblings and stay in the buildings as long as possible, to duck in between the cars so we couldn’t be seen until we got to ours. She told us about the trail behind the auto shop that was lined with trees and led off campus. I got my brother and his friends and we left, we spent the day sitting on the floor in my living room waiting for a phone call that the people we left behind were dying.
Two weeks later, one of my friends dragged me out of a football game and forced me to go home with him. He grabbed my brothers and my best friend and forced the six of us into a two seater car before he would tell us anything. His mom worked for the school board and had told him the police found an active bomb under the bleachers in the student section, and they weren’t informing anyone because they didn’t want to incite panic.
When I was 16 years old, ISIS set off a bomb at a pop concert in Britain and killed 22 people, injuring at least 100 more. The next day at school, our teachers went over how to stay safe if we ever experienced something like that. They told us the most important thing to remember was to not remove any shrapnel because it could be keeping us from bleeding out, they said it was more important to get yourself out safely before you worried about anyone else.
When I was 18 years old, my teachers stopped teaching and put the news up on the projector and we watched as the Notre-Dame burned. The boy I had sat next to since second grade spent the entire day trying to call his sister who was studying abroad in Paris, I watched this kid I had never even seen frown fall apart in English because she wouldn’t pick up the phone. We didn’t know it at the time, but she was okay.
Six months later, my history teacher put the news on the projector again for another fire. This time, we watched as an entire continent burned for three months. We watched their sky turned orange from the smoke and their wildlife drowned in pools because they were trying to escape the heat.
When I was 19 years old, the whole world shut down because of a global pandemic. I didn’t meet a single new person for eight months, despite the fact that I had just moved across the country. I watched as people didn’t wear masks and spread it to everyone around them, I was so scared when I went back to my room every night because my roommate was immunocompromised and I was terrified I would give her Covid and kill her.
Just two months later, I watched a video of a black man being murdered by police officers. I watched the world around me explode after George Floyd’s death, people destroying businesses and police stations. I watched some of my friends realize police officers didn’t exist to keep them safe, they existed to keep the people in power in power. I learned that some of the people I had grown up with would rather watch a black man die than admit that maybe, maybe, the system was broken.
When I was 20 years old, I went to the mall with a friend to buy a birthday present and I was pulled to the ground by a twelve-year-old girl after gunshots went off in the mall. I held this child’s hands as she cried for two hours until we were evacuated by police, and then I waited with her outside and helped her look for her mom. I gave her my phone to call her mom and I watched as she called the number over and over and never got a reply. I waited with her until a police officer took her to the station to try to find out more information about the girl’s mom, I hugged this girl I had never seen before and I wished her the best. I never found out what happened to her or her mom, it keeps me up at night sometimes worrying that this little girl was orphaned.
When I was 21 years old, I started working at a daycare and exactly a week later, Uvalde happened and I found myself crying because my students are the same age those kids were. When they came in after school the next day, one of them had asked me if I had heard about Uvalde and I told her I had, I asked her if she was scared of going to school because of it. Her reply broke my heart. “We practice for it every week so that when it happens to us, we know what to do. I’m just worried that the shooter is going to start in my baby sister’s classroom and not mine.” I listened as other students with younger siblings agreed with her, one of them saying “I would take fifty bullets, if I had to to keep my little brother safe.”
Early this year, I watched Russia launched bombs into Ukraine, blowing up churches and schools and hospitals and apartment buildings. I watched as the estimated death count rose from the hundreds to the thousands to the tens of thousands. I watched men send their wives and children to bordering countries for refuge while they stayed behind to fight, knowing they would probably never see each other again.
Just four months ago, I watched as my right to medical privacy got taken away. I watched my old roommate fall apart because she was denied the right to have her dead fetus removed from her body for almost two days, I worried every time I looked away from her that the next time I saw her would be in a casket. I watched as the women around me realized the military-grade weapons that had torn children in classrooms apart were protected by the government but our bodies weren’t.
There is nothing “wrong” with my generation, we’ve experienced all these things as children and were expected to respond with patriotism for a country that continuously sacrificed their children for the “right” to military-grade weapons, that took away my freedom of choice. We are tired, we were told the world was a wonderful place then shown, at every step, how the world was a place of destruction and pain. And we are angry. We are angry because no one but us seems to be trying to fix anything. And we are scared. We are scared because our children, our nieces and nephews, our cousins and our friends children are growing up in a world that won’t protect them.
#gen z post#generation z#gen z experience#tw 9/11#9/11 mention#9/11#tw active shooter#active shooter tw#tw gun mention#gun tw#tw abortion mention#tw gun violence#tw bombing#shooting at uvalde#uvalde#uvalde school massacre#uvalde school shooting#the war on Ukraine#ukraine war#fuck russia#george floyd#george floyd protests#Ariana grande concert bombing#notre dame cathedral#notre dame cathedral fire#fire in Notre dame#notre dame fire#sandy hook#sandy hook school shooting#sandy hook shooting
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LNDS: Kids w/ MC
I got back into Love and Deep Space while also going back to tumblr to look at the tag and I was so inspired by what the community was making!! I drew these kids and make a lot of my own headcanons, but I NEED to point to @goldenstring6123 ‘s post about the boys as parents… it’s so good. It was Rafayel and Sylus specifically that got to me so I had to draw.
Girl dad Raf and twin kids Sylus… PERFECTION. thank you for writing them, @goldenstring6123 !!
MC x Rafayel
Oldest daughter was a total daddy’s girl, before she grew up and began to take on MC’s more… mature personality. Though, still seeks to spend time with Rafayel, in her own way
Seen as the cool, mysterious girl at school
Plays the flute amazingly; Rafayel always buys her an almost ridiculously large bouquet of flowers for every concert and she is secretly overjoyed by it
Spends a lot of time at the beach, practicing or looking for shells for her younger sister
Youngest sister is Rafayel’s partner in crime (but frequently sells him out when MC convinces her with treats… “Et tu, little starfish?!”)
She is constantly asking to help him paint and, of course, he obliges
They both end up in a huge mess
She’s playful and loud, often causes trouble (sometimes Rafayel joins in on her tantrums and they just end up giggling together)
Asks Thomas to promote her own paintings… He has so many of them now
She LOVES cats, much to Rafayel’s dismay and tries to get rid of what she thinks is Rafayel’s “fear” by bringing home the stray cats she comes across
MC x Sylus
The girl twin frequently butts heads with Sylus, acts like an angel to MC
She frequently orders Kieran and Luke around, they call her “Lil’ Boss”
Desperately wants to attend those important meetings Sylus goes to, pitches a fit when she’s told she can’t
Mephisto listens to both twins, but perches on her shoulder more often
Has a sort of… morbid sense of humor as she grows up, tells her family that she’ll protect them if Sylus ever dies ( to which he’ll reply: “At least the N109 Zone will have fitting replacement, darling daughter.”)
Calls herself the “older” sibling and she is fiercely protective over her twin
As an adult, she wants to be in charge of Onychinus and she has more than enough experience for it
The boy twin is the more quiet of the two
Let’s his sister do the talking for him
Sickly as a child, it was a great source of concern for everyone, but he grows healthier
Shy with Sylus because he feels he can’t keep up with him and his sister, but they grow closer over time
He prefers MC, but frequently asks to be carried by Sylus. He likes being tall
He’s the one secretly giving Mephisto treats
Excels in his studies, helps his sister out
As an adult, he struggles in the N109 Zone and prefers Linkon City, but he still wants to help the family
These are my headcanons and if they’re OOC, I’m sorry! I went really specific and I thought of my MC while making them ^^ I’ll probably make another for Xavier and Zane, but I need to think about it some more which is funny because I like those two more than Rafayel…
Anyways, thanks for reading! (And apologies if the formatting is weird, I just joined tumblr again ^^)
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Trust me. | LHC (M)
Best friend to lovers x fem reader
Summary: you just got out of a relationship, but for some reason, Haechan can't wait to tell you he likes you. It's not that you don't feel the same, but your mind isn't exactly in the right place after the breakup. But Haechan's words make you feel so good and so secure, that you just have to indulge into what could be.
Warnings: sexual content, LOTS AND LOTS of kissing, dry humping, penetrative sex, vanilla sex (womp womp), clothed sex (kinda), nipple play (if you squint), haechan is a tease kinda, they're a bit emotional and soft for each other 🤥, proof read but there may still be errors yikers
Word count: 3,2k
Song recs: slidin by kai, dive by victoria monet, in a good way by faye webster
A/N: my birthday was last week yipee I'm finally 20 now. I got lost of birthday money so I decided to buy a ticket for dream show in Newark. I'm so excited. I'm actually gonna see Mark after I missed 127 the last time. I was working on a Jaehyun fic but needed a break so I decided to write this one before the concert, so I hope you guys like it. This is my second actual oneshot so spare me 😭😭. Please give any feedback you can if you want. 🤍🩷🤍🩷
"What do you mean?" Your expression was blank, staring at him like a deer in headlights.
"I like you," he repeated.
"You're not funny," you spat, rolling your eyes as you scrolled through your feed.
"I'm not trying to be funny." You look at him, seeing the sincerity in his expression. Haechan is the type to joke about stuff like this, and it's scary that this wasn't a joke. You knew him forever, he even said you were like a sister to him at one point. When did it change? When did he see you as a girl and not as a sister?
"Haechan please." You let out a deep breath, rubbing your forehead in irritation. "What are you saying right now?"
"I have feelings for you Y/N. I'm not joking. I'm being a hundred percent serious," he said. He looked away from you, letting out a small sigh.
You went stiff, uncomfortable with the events taking place. It's not like you were repulsed by it, just a bit shocked. These scenarios only really happen in movies, this is never anything you thought about happening to the both of you. And considering you just came out of a relationship, this was not looking good for you. "W-why?"
"Why," he repeated. "I don't know…I can't even tell you where these feelings came from." He looked at you to see your reaction, but he saw nothing but worry from you. He knew what you were worried about. You didn't want to get a call from your ex saying he was right about you two, that you and Haechan do have a thing for each other. You didn't want to get that call saying he shouldn't have dated you, that he knew he couldn't trust you. It broke Haechan's heart seeing you in pain, seeing you hurting because of something he couldn't prevent.
"Are you saying this just to get in my pants," you mumble quietly.
"I would never do that to you. You know that," he reassured you.
"Are you aware that I'm literally going through a break up right now?"
"I know, I know." He lets out a frustrated groan, throwing his face in his hands. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't wait to tell you."
You sighed, leaning back on his headboard. You didn't really know how to process the information you were being given right now, let alone how you were feeling. Years ago, you would've been the happiest person in the world, having a crush on him when you were younger. You liked him a lot at the time, him being the only boy who ever talked to you in your life, and you wanted validation. But as you got older, you got hotter and you started getting attention from a lot of boys, and soon realized crushing on Haechan wasn't worth it.
But as you grew up, so did he. He became more attractive and received more attention. Sometimes you wish he hadn't. You were 15 when you first had a crush on him, he was just another cute boy in class who you happened to be friends with, but now he's 23. If you didn't know him as well as you did, you would probably fuck him, and you don't blame people for wanting to fuck him either.
"When did you….you know," you asked, trying to avoid looking at him.
Haechan glanced at you through his fingers, moving his hands off his face after. "I don't know…I guess when I saw you crying over that asshole, it really hurt me. I don't want to see you like that again, and I know I could treat you better."
You could feel your heart beginning to beat faster and your face growing hot. You were blushing. Haechan has never made you blush before. You hit him on the shoulder, making him hiss at the sudden pain.
"What was that for," he whined.
"Stop saying nonsense."
"It's not nonsense, it's true," he said. "And don't pretend you didn't like it. You're literally blushing." Hachan lifted his hand to poke your cheek, but before you could swat it away, he grabbed onto your wrist and pulled your body to his.
"What are you doing," you said, a shocked and confused expression all over your face.
"Getting closer to you." Haechan let go of your wrist and slipped his arm around your shoulder. You've been close to him many times but not like this. And the way he was glancing at you made you suspicious, you knew that look.
"Why," you questioned, squinting at him.
"Because I want you close."
"Can you stop flirting with me please?" You didn't mean it, but your voice came out small, causing Haechan to let out a soft chuckle.
"Why? Do you like it when I flirt with you." Haechan noticed you refused to look at him, watching you pout and turn your head away from him trying to not smile. "Look at me."
"No." If there's one thing you know about him, it's that once you give him what he wants, there is no winning ever. He'll mention it for the rest of his life, never letting you live it down. And you definitely didn't want him knowing the effect he had on your emotions. You held your breath as you felt his other hand come into contact with your chin, forcefully turning your head to look at him. His face was centimeters away from yours. This is the closest the both of you had ever been.
"Stop looking away from me." He spoke in a soft tone, almost like a whisper, and he wasn't shy about what was in his mind. His eyes kept flickering between your lips and the rest of your face. He wanted to kiss you so badly. He's been wanting to since you stepped into his room.
"I'm not anymore," you answered, tone blank.
He let out a soft chuckle, licking his lips after. "You're cute."
You looked down, rolling your eyes. You did like what you guys had at the moment. It felt natural to be this close to him, but you had reservations. "Are you sure you really like me?"
"You want me to prove it to you?"
'Yes,' was the only answer you could give him. You actually wanted him to kiss you so badly and you wanted to admit it. But there was still a part of you that was still a bit attached to your ex and what he would think if you got into a relationship with Haechan, the main reason you were broken up with.
"I'm a little scared Haechan," you admit. "I just don't feel all myself after the break up. I mean what would he think-"
You didn't even realize how close you and Haechan were. His lips were almost on yours. He couldn't even hear what you were saying, all he knew was that he needed you at the moment. He wanted to show you, prove to you how much he likes you, how much you meant to him. But only if you gave your permission.
"Don't worry about him. Just pay attention to me okay?" Your eyes fluttered shut as Haechan kissed you softly, moving his hand from your chin to your waist. It felt like water dowsing a fire, putting out your anger and sadness all in one go. This was definitely natural, definitely meant to be, no matter how cliche it was. He rubbed your waist softly as he kissed you again, pulling you closer.
You placed your hand on his chest, tugging at his shirt softly. You kissed him again a bit more passionately this time. Haechan has been with a lot of girls, but he's never had the feeling he had with you. Not even his old girlfriends gave him butterflies the way you did. He pulled away slowly, a smile tugging at his lips once you looked at each other. "Do you believe me now?"
You looked away from him as fast as you could, resulting in him lifting your chin planting another kiss on your lips.
"Every time you look away from me, I'm gonna kiss you," he muttered.
"Will you stop," you whined. You buried your face in his neck, hiding from the embarrassment of his words.
He chuckled softly, pushing his hair back. "I've never seen you so embarrassed."
"You've never seen a lot about me."
"Wanna bet?"
You moved away from the crook of his neck, eyebrows raised as you looked at him with shock. Haechan had a smirk on his face, but it was a bit different this time. His expression of sincerity changed into one you've never seen before. And at that moment you just happened to look down at his lap. "Are you turned on right now…"
Haechan's smirk slowly disappeared as he glanced between you and his lap. "I'm sorry…you're just really hot."
"Please just…take care of that. I'm gonna go home." You move to stand up, but stop when Haechan grabs your wrists.
"Help me," he muttered lowly.
"What?"
"Help me."
Haechan looked at you with desperate eyes, squeezing your wrist as he tugged you towards him. He made it hard to say no sometimes, always knowing the right look or the right words to say. Not just that, but you kind of wanted to. In the deepest parts of your mind, you shoved the thought of ever having sex with him away. And now you have the chance. "Are..are you sure?"
He leaned into you, lips brushing against yours. "Positive."
You kissed him, cupping his face softly. Haechan bit your lip, a smirk tugging at his lips. He slipped his hand on your leg, squeezing the flesh softly. You didn't know where this sudden confidence was coming from, but when you got up and straddled him, it was almost like he'd found a new reason to fall for you even harder. His hands never left your waist, pushing your hips over his hardened length.
"Jesus," you muttered.
Haechan gripped your hips, rolling them onto his lap as he pulled away from you. Haechan took in your expression, eyes never leaving your face as you began to breathe heavily.
"You like that?"
You nodded, resting your forehead on his. Haechan kissed the corner of your lips as you let off a soft sigh filled with pleasure. His grip began to loosen as he felt you beginning to move your hips on your own. Haechan kissed your jawline as he let you grind on top of him, pace slowly becoming faster and harder.
"Shit," you moaned softly.
"That feel good," he asked, whispering in your ear. "Are you gonna cum from me barely touching you?"
"Can you shut up," you huffed out.
Haechan chuckled, kissing you so softly it only left you wanting more. But when you leaned in for another kiss, he moved away, shaking his head. "I want you to cum first."
"W-what?"
"Do it."
In any other situation, at any other time, you would've said no and probably hit him. But you needed him so badly you wanted him so badly you were willing to do anything he said. You threw your head back slightly, gripping his shoulders as soft moans escaped your lips. Haechan couldn't take his eyes off of you, almost as if you were art.
"You're so pretty," he whispered. His eye contact was intense, a little too intense for you. But he liked it. He liked that he could have this effect on you just by looking at you. You finally let your tough exterior crash for him. Nothing in the world could turn him on more.
Your brows furrowed as you began to feel your stomach tighten. You hid your face in his neck not wanting him to see you, but he moved it, holding your jaw firmly. "Look at me," he said softly.
Your jaw went slack as your orgasm approached making your body tremble. "F-fuck," you moaned softly.
"Good girl." He wiped the sweat off your brow with his thumb looking up at you with a tender smile. "You're a good listener when you really want something."
"Fuck you," you breathed out.
Haechan kissed you deeply, hands slipping under your t-shirt. "Take this off."
You pulled away, pulling your shirt over your head, tossing it on his bedroom floor. Haechan's eyes raked over every inch of your exposed skin. He's seen you in bathing suits on many occasions, or clothes that showed your body, but this was entirely different. He gulped as he stared at your cleavage for a little too long, concentration only breaking when you cleared your throat.
"You act like you've never seen boobs before," you joke.
"Not yours." Before Haechan could say another word, you were already unclipping your bra. You let the fabric fall off you, and Haechan felt as if he stepped through the gates of Heaven. "Can I touch you?"
You nodded, eyes moving between his face and hands. Haechan's hands gently fondled your chest, thumbs subtly gliding over your nipples making you shiver. Haechan's mouth attached to your nipple, kissing and licking at the bud all while never breaking eye contact. His eyes went a bit wide when you let out a moan, making him squeeze your chest softly.
"Don't tease me," you whined softly.
Haechan couldn't help but listen. His hands left your chest and immediately undid your jean shorts. He gulped as you shifted off of him. You tugged your shorts off, letting them fall into a puddle around your ankles, but when your finger hooked around your underwear, Haechan stopped you. "Keep them on."
"What? Why-"
"Please." The whimper in his voice was all you needed to listen; you kept them on. You watched as Haechan pulled himself out his basketball shorts. He could tell you were nervous and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly.
"Do you have any condoms?" You've had sex dozens of times, but with Haechan, it was starting to feel like your first time. And this time it felt way more intimate than anyone else.
The male nodded, leaning over and grabbing one out his nightstand. You stood and watched as he slipped it on, mind racing with so many thoughts. 'This is it,' you thought to yourself. You were about to fuck your best friend, and you really liked the idea of it. But what if it ruined your friendship forever? What if he regretted it?
"Hey. What are you thinking about?" Haechan's eyes were soft, his expression changing seeing the worry on your face.
"I'm just nervous."
"Nervous about what," he questioned as you got back on top of him.
You opened your mouth, but hesitated before speaking. You didn't want to say the wrong thing. You didn't want to confuse him or hurt him. Haechan always understood you and knew you meant well, but saying anything in this moment could fuck up what the both of you had going. "What if..what if this ruins everything? I-I don't want to feel like this was a mistake."
"Do you think you're making a mistake?" His hands slid from your waist to your hips as he looked up at you. He always admired how honest you were, even if it would hurt his feelings. You shook your head 'no', making him smile. "Then you have nothing to worry about, okay? Just trust me."
You nodded, letting him pull your underwear to the side. The sight was almost enough to make him cum there on the spot. He lined himself with you, biting his lip as you sunk down. A small sigh fell from your lips as you felt him fill you, hands flying to his chest. Your eyes are closed so you don't see the way Haechan looks at you now. If he likes you before, he sure as hell loves you now. Something about this felt so right to him no matter how nervous you were.
His breathing became heavier as you grinded on top of him slowly, eyes shut in a desperate attempt to look at him. He would've completely missed this if it wasn't for your eyes slightly fluttering open, intentionally looking down to avoid his need for eye contact. Haechan kissed you deeply, tongue sliding against yours as your pace quickened.
"Oh my god," you moaned softly on his lips.
"Tell me how good it feels."
You could almost combust with the way he was talking to you. His voice felt like honey dripping into your ears. "Feels so good.."
"You're so cute," he mutters. Softly moans leave his lips, hands gripping your hips. His grip is so strong that he's now guiding your movements, making your brows furrow when he pushes himself deeper into you. Haechan begins to thrust into you at the same time, almost sending the both of you into ecstasy. You clenched around, throwing your head back as you whimpered and moaned.
Haechan's moans and groans were like music to your ears. Unlike your ex who barely made any noises, Haechan loved making sure you knew he liked what you were doing. He moved his hand off your hip, taking it between your legs, rubbing your clit. "Oh my god," you groaned softly. "Fuck, keep going."
Haechan kissed your neck softly, moaning against your skin. He felt you clench around him slightly, making his brows furrow. "Damn it," he moaned softly.
”I'm so close," you whimpered.
"Wait for me baby. Can you do that?"
You nodded fast, hands moving from his chest to his shoulders, pulling your body closer to his. Haechan couldn't take his eyes off you. He couldn't say he never imagined this moment, but it was better than anything he thought of.
"H-haechan, fuck..I'm cumming."
His name falling from your lips was all he needed. Moans fell from his lips as you clenched around him, legs and hands shaking from the intense orgasm. Haechan kissed you deeply again and again as if it was the last time he could.
You pulled away from him, a tired smile on your face seeing tired heavy eyes. The both of you sat there quiet as a mouse, just looking at each other. At this moment, you think you completely fell for him. Maybe you always had feelings for him and it just took this moment for you to realize how strong they were.
"I think I'm in love with you," Haechan said, breaking the silence.
"That quick," you joke. But Haechan was serious. He really did think it was more than like now. "I think we should wait, Haechan. I…I need some time before I can get into another relationship."
"That's fine," he said. "I'll be here no matter what we decide to do. You can always trust me."
You sigh deeply, pulling yourself off of him, plopping next to his body. Haechan pulled the condom off, tying the end as he threw it somewhere on the floor. "Ew," you grimaced.
"I'll get it later." Haechan wrapped his arms around you pulling you closer to him. "For now, can we just stay like this?"
You giggle, snuggling into his arms and resting your head in the crook of his neck. "Just know that know matter what happens, I think I love you too."
That was the last thing that you said before you drifted off into sleep, leaving Haechan with the widest smile on his face.
#nct dream#nct#nct 127#nct u#nct fanfic#nct smut#nct scenarios#haechan#nct oneshot#haechan oneshot#haechan smut#nct x reader#haechan x reader
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Eric Bogosian on Chris Rock [1997]
Who's more racist: black people or white people? Black people. You know why? Because black people hate black people, too. Everything white people don't like about black people, black people don't like about black people. ... Every time black people want to have a good time, niggers mess it up. ... Can't keep a disco open more than three weeks. Grand opening? Grand closing. Can't go to a movie the first week it opens. Why? Because niggers are shooting at the screen. ... I know what all you black readers think. ... ''It isn't us, it's the media. The media has distorted our image to make us look bad.'' ... Please. ... When I go to the money machine at night, I'm not looking over my shoulder for the media. I'm looking for niggers. -- from ''Rock This!'' by Chris Rock
A Chris Rock concert is an exorcism by laughter. One of the first pure comedians to emerge in a generation, he makes us laugh not only because of perfect writing, skewed associations and rock-steady timing but also because of pain. The pain of how we've hurt ourselves with race, the pain of being a man, the pain of confusion. This is the flip side of the deep anger curdling the American dream; it is anger transformed into entertainment. Rock knows how far to go, like a crazed uncle who keeps tickling your toes while you beg for mercy.
Discovered by Eddie Murphy, Rock gained fame as a featured player on ''Saturday Night Live'' and ''In Living Color'' in the early 90's. He had a high-profile part in ''New Jack City'' and was a co-producer and star of ''CB4,'' but when ''In Living Color'' went off the air, Rock found himself without a job. So he returned to stand-up, working the clubs, honing his particular brand of streetwise humor. When his HBO comedy special, ''Bring the Pain,'' was broadcast last year -- with its defining routine ''Black People vs. Niggas'' -- it was clear that Rock, 31, was having a comeback.
Now he seems to be everywhere: in commercials for 1-800-Collect, on MTV and his HBO interview show, on a comedy album and in a new book, ''Rock This!'' Still, it is in concert that he is at his whip-cracking best. His influences range from Buster Keaton to Richard Pryor to Sam Kinison; he brings together a vast black and white audience to laugh at some of the most painful truths. In the end, Chris Rock is funny, and that's all that's important. Or is it?
Eric Bogosian: What's the difference between a black audience and a white audience?
Chris Rock: I'll give it to you in musical terms. When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.
Bogosian: How do you know when it is funny? When is the joke finished?
Rock: It's never locked. I mess with it every night. But I really don't improvise that much. I mean, 10 percent of the show is improvised.
Bogosian: What do you do when the audience doesn't get the good stuff?
Rock: I slow down my delivery. The natural thing to do when the show's not going well is to speed it up. Worst thing in the world. Slow it down. Make sure they understand everything you're saying. I'll think, Maybe the abortion bit won't play. But I don't drop that much stuff now.
Bogosian: Do you ever think you stink and they're eating it up?
Rock: I think that all the time. Out of a hundred shows I'll do in a year, I'll think maybe three are great.
Bogosian: Do you ever get angry at the people you work with because they tell you it's a great show and it's not?
Rock: They can't tell. My brothers, Andre and Tony, can tell, my producer, Nelson George, can tell, my sister can tell. Four people in the whole world can see people laughing and still say it's not a good show.
Bogosian: What about anger? You seem to move from mischievousness to malice to outright anger in your show. You talk about the anger of old black men and how they hide it.
Rock: When they're around white people they don't do anything. Then they get really angry when the white man walks away. ''Cracker!''
Bogosian: Young black people don't do that?
Rock: Old black men. These guys rode in the back of the bus. For a long time. And all that went with it. Hard to get rid of that. Someone like me, a lot younger, I didn't go through that.
Bogosian: I'm angry at everybody and I don't even need a reason. If I were black. ...
Rock: You're not.
Bogosian: No. But I get pulled over every time I get on an airplane. It's the ethnic hair, I think. But you seem angry at blacks, like you're resentful of your own kind. You pick on black behavior a lot.
Rock: I pick on ignorance. Anyone who thinks it's cool to be stupid.
Bogosian: There are blacks you are clearly angry at. You used the word ''nigger'' in your HBO show.
Rock: I guess I did.
Bogosian: Your audience is made up of whites, many of whom are happy to hear how lazy or stupid blacks are. You're using the word ''nigger.'' And some of the white audience is saying, ''That's right.''
Rock: Every ethnic group divides itself, criticizes itself. I know gay guys who say ''fag.'' What I said got more attention because it was black people, and we tend to get more attention when we do things.
Bogosian: ''Nigger'' is a heavy-duty word. You better have a good reason for using it.
Rock: It's not that heavy-duty. The thing with ''nigger'' is just that white people are ticked-off because there's something they can't do. That's all it is. ''I'm white, I can do anything in the world. But I can't say that word.'' It's the only thing in the whole world that the average white man cannot use at his discretion.
Bogosian: Your work is full of incisive criticism about the way people act. Is it important to get a message across? Or is it a kind of a cloak you're wearing because it's cool to say loaded stuff?
Rock: Really, really at the end of the day, the only important thing is being funny. I don't go out of my way to be political. My dad drove a newspaper truck. I just read the paper every day as a kid. I was bused to school. My [expletive] was kicked by white kids and I was called ''nigger.'' So I have a point of view. But the most important thing is to be funny.
Bogosian: Paul Reiser is a funny guy and Paul Reiser talks about relationships and it's very funny and it's very sweet and nice. You, on the other hand, are like Loki, you're like the Norse god of mischief who's coming in with that glint in your eye. You talk about Don Rickles a lot.
Rock: Oh, no -- no one's better. No one does a better TV appearance, no one sits down and does a couch better than Rickles.
Bogosian: Yeah, but I remember when Don Rickles broke -- that's how old I am. He used to do all these put-downs, and he looked like he meant it. That was the big thing in the early 60's -- sick comics. You talk about the organ donors who come back from the dead and they don't have any eyes. That's dark. You go after heroes of the black community. Marion Barry, O.J. Simpson. ...
Rock: Hero? O.J.'s picture is not hanging up in my grandmother's kitchen.
Bogosian: Is there such a thing as a black community, really? A welfare mother in Brownsville, a Nigerian selling watches on Fifth Avenue, an upper-middle-class Atlanta suburbanite, a nanny from Jamaica -- what do these people have in common other than skin?
Rock: If it all goes wrong with each one of these people, they'd end up living in the exact same neighborhood. That's reality.
Bogosian: But, I mean, I can't say I belong to the white community. There are plenty of white people who do not for a second include me in their community.
Rock: Automatically you're a community because you're the majority. I mean, it's like your house: you don't have a room in your house, it's your house. You know what I mean? Yes, there is a black community, and we have a room in the white community's house.
l
Bogosian: In this community the message from celebrities in music, on talk shows and in movies seems mixed. There's a lot of talk about family, about God, but there's also a glorification of the street, ''gangsta'' life style. Isn't that kind of schizoid?
Rock: It's about wanting to be accepted where you're from.
Bogosian: But it's like what the racists were saying in the first place -- ''Every young black man is a thug'' has become a cool idea. It's being promoted.
Rock: It's about acceptance at home. I'm always thinking, What happens if I had to go home, had to move back to Bed-Stuy? I'd want to be accepted. People think you're gonna flip out and come all show business and not talk to 'em. People get the big entourage and all and isolate themselves.
Bogosian: You might want that some day. Wasn't your grandfather a preacher?
Rock: My grandfather, who actually just passed, was a preacher. I would watch him and I would listen to stuff: Dr. King, you know, Malcolm X, Kennedy. 'Cause I just looked at it as kind of the same thing as I was trying to do, but without punch lines. I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.
Bogosian: Is there a different kind of intelligence needed for comedy?
Rock: I'm not a smart guy. I dropped out of high school, I've read 10, 11 books in my life. ...
Bogosian: But that isn't what smart is.
Rock: Smart's knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. Put it this way, the inability to get a joke is the first sign of ignorance. Like when you tell a joke about a guy and he gets mad at you? That's a dumb guy.
Bogosian: Adolf Hitler had no sense of humor. Newt Gingrich. Humorless.
Rock: In show business, comedians are the smartest guys.
Bogosian: Well, you know what, Chris, you and I are like in parallel universes, and there's a lot of similarities ----.
Rock: No, I've watched your stuff, I'm not -- I do what a lot of the old white musicians did and watched all the black guys. I watch everybody's stuff, man.
Bogosian: Well, what I do is push people's buttons or get people shocked. And then I got some reviews a few years ago saying I wasn't shocking enough. So now, here's the new nasty kid with this razor-blade intellect ----.
Rock: Me? Razor-blade intellect? I had a 14 in math one time.
Bogosian: That's O.K. Look, I had seven study halls a day when I was in high school.
Rock: Fourteen, man. My mother laughed at the grade. If it was, like, in the middle of the 50's, she would have got mad. Fourteen was, like, this is hysterical.
Bogosian: Is there such a thing as a dumb successful comedian?
Rock: Well, yeah. They're not dumb, they're like Amadeus. Savants.
Bogosian: Like Gilbert Gottfried?
Rock: No, Gilbert's brilliant. I won't name names, but there's some guys, very successful. And you can overcome a lot of handicaps if you're willing to bust your [expletive].
Bogosian: You like to work really hard.
Rock: It's like boxing -- if you don't train, you're going to get the [expletive] kicked out of you. It's not like, you know, if you hang out in basketball, ''Oh, he had a bad game, mmm, he was off that night.'' Boxing, you get the [expletive] kicked out of you and you might not get another shot the rest of your life, that's how boxing is.
You know, the only bad thing about stand-up is that in order to work it out, you have to go back all the way to where you started. There's no other way to get good at it. It's like if Schwarzenegger before he does a movie has to go do a competition lifting weights. So I got to go, you know, to the Boston Comedy Club in the middle of the night. It's not, I will do it. I've got to do it. Or else I'm going to get the [expletive] kicked out of me.
Bogosian: So there's, like, this hair-shirt discipline to what you do.
Rock: I like to work at the latest possible hour and just try to get one of the worst possible circumstances. I like to work in front of all-white audiences to start it off, even with the blackest material. Because I know once I get this black joke to work, when I get it in front of a bunch of black people, it's really going to kill. It's kind of like a baseball player swinging two bats on the on-deck circle. I want to work in front of people who would never pay to see me.
Bogosian: What if everything were going the way that you liked -- if all the movies and TV shows had been hits?
Rock: I'd be the worst guy. I wouldn't be funny at all. No, when I was on ''Saturday Night Live'' I was the worst guy. I loved women I had no business being with. She had to look so good that people would go, ''Why's she [expletive] him?'' And guys would want to fight me. I didn't know how to handle any money. I made 90 grand my first year, so I bought a $40,000 car. Kind of stupid.
Bogosian: But no drugs.
Rock: Nah. I might as well have been drugged, though.
Bogosian: So what's next?
Rock: I'd like to write and direct a movie for myself. Now that I've achieved my greatest success just doing stand-up comedy, which is, like, the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect, I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. You know, I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.
Bogosian: Is it going to happen in a movie?
Rock: No, it can happen in concert. Richard Pryor did his best work in concert.
Bogosian: Everybody says that Richard Pryor is the big influence.
Rock: Yeah, and that's the best-written comedy you've ever seen. Most every comedian probably, except for Woody, did his best work as a stand-up. And Woody was a great stand-up. Cosby's got the biggest show in the world, whatever, but his best work was stand-up. I mean, you can achieve greatness in comedy, you just have to realize that the critical masses just don't view comedy as great. I think Eddie Murphy should have gotten nominated for an Oscar for ''Nutty Professor,'' just on the performance.
Bogosian: You're not the first person to say that.
Rock: He played five or six people -- incredible, incredible, incredible. If he did that in a movie that had something to do with death or AIDS or something, he'd get nominated in a second.
Bogosian: So the millions are piling up. When will you be buying your Malibu cottage?
Rock: I live in Brooklyn and actually like living in Brooklyn. It's different between New York and L.A. People in New York are proud of what they do, no matter what the hell they do. In L.A., it's just a routine. No one's proud, everybody's like: ''This is what I'm doing now. Yeah, no, I'm a doctor, but I'm just doing that right now. I wrote a script, and me and the other physicians are shopping around.'' Everybody wants to be in show business.
New York's the best place in the world. You know what I love? It's like the garbage men will have a dance, and they'll rent out a big place, and it's cool. My brother Andre drives a truck. In L.A. you wouldn't want to say you drive a truck probably. My brother Andre is, like, the most proud truck driver you ever met in your life. He walks in a room and goes: ''See that coffee cup right there? A truck bought it to you. Everything in here. People talk about computers going to change everything. Hey! You got to get the computer. Who's going to get it to you? Me. The guy with the truck.''
Bogosian: Is this a routine or ----.
Rock: No. It's just my brother Andre.
Eric Bogosian is a playwright and actor. His new play
#eric bogosian#amc iwtv#daniel molloy#interview with the vampire#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#claudia#iwtv s2#armand iwtv
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reader is axl's sister but becomes good friends w james (or other members) during gnr metallica tour. axl is pissed n being dramatic about it (i don't know if that works for you)
perfect! hope ending was good 🤷♀️ act like the og line up never ended for gnr :’) couldn’t think of a title lol
Acceptance.
Axl Rose | Guns N Roses
The fame of Guns N Roses and my brother Axl was always surprising news. We never would’ve expected this to happen in a million years. Nonetheless, grateful for it all. Through all of the million of things going on, Axl had never forgotten about me. Always checking up on me and we would hang out some days, or I would go to their band practices.
Guns N Roses decided to do a huge ass tour with the one and only Metallica. It was a fever dream coming true. So when Axl said he would take me along, boy was I in for a surprise.
It started off fine, I hanged out with Slash, Steven, Duff and Izzy. Not really interacting or interested with any of the Metallica members.
“Let’s go.” Axl gestured to me as we both drove to a random restaurant. It had an interesting structure colors of black and blue, quite packed inside.
“I’ll go find the others.” Axl patted my shoulder and went off to find maybe Slash or Izzy. I shrugged and sat down.
“Hey, are you Axl’s sister?” A soft but muscular voice interrupted my day dream.
“Huh? Oh, yes I am.” As I looked up, I realized Metallica members were standing in front of me.
“Great, uh we’re kinda confused. Do you know what or where we’re suppose to eat?” Kirk asked. Jason and Lars were talking in the back while James seemed bored.
“No..but-Duff!” I excused myself and went to Duff.
“Hey, what’s up?” Duff gave me a side hug, confused then realized the Metallica guys.
“Uh we’re all lost.” Duff made an ‘oh’ expression. “Alright, follow me.”
We all sat and ate. It was pretty chill, James and the rest were pretty funny. I could tell Axl didn’t like them much nor did they. I on the other hand, enjoyed their company with Slash, Steven, Duff and Izzy. Since that day forward on, I started to interact with Metallica members more.
On the night prior to the concert, I hanged out with James and his bandmates. It was chill, we all just chatted.
“Have you guys seen my sis—“ Axl immediately stopped and looked at me with anger in his eyes.
“What’s up?” I asked, his eyebrows furrowed together and with that he just left. Confused by his action, I immediately followed him.
“See you guys.” I patted James shoulder, they all gave a quick bye.
“Axl! Stop, where are you going?” Finally catching up, I gently grabbed his arm.
“Why the fuck are you hanging out with them?” I tiled my head.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I hang out with them? They’re my new friends..” Axl scoffed.
“They’re annoying and bitches. Don’t hang out with them.” I rolled my eyes. He was a bit controlling with who I hanged out with.
“Axl, you’re being dramatic. I can hang out with whoever I please. You have to accept that.” Axl sighed, he realized his mistake.
“Sorry, you’re right. It’s just you know..” I nodded my head not wanting for him to continue.
“It’s fine. They aren’t hurting me or anything. I know you got my back, thank you.”
Though the darkness made it hard to see, he was truly sorry. I embraced him into a warm hug. “Good luck on stage.” We smiled at each other.
“Thanks.” He gave me one last hug and went on stage.
(completed September 24)
#guns n roses#axl rose#coca-cola ✟ blog#fanfic writing#platonic relationships#axl rose fanfiction#metallica
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Until next time posty - Q.H
@suzy.q : at least when I was in jail I got some rest in 🥂
tagged : @_quinnhughes @lhughes_06 @jackhughes
location : with my boo thangs
jackhughes : you only went bc mom told us we had to take you...
↪ suzy.q : jack... do you want another shoulder injury? 🥴
lhughes_06 : I dont like that youre related to us and post things like this
↪ suzy.q : THINGS LIKE WHAT LUKE?!?!?!?!?!?! A CONCERT?
nicohischier : oop sister hughes popped offffffff🫡
dawson1417 : why is there a zipper on your leg???? are you not real???😳
↪ suzy.q : I was wearing boots?????? are you good ?????
john.marino97 : OMG im crying, im gonna miss yall so so much!
tmeier96 : oh I understand the caption now
↪ suzy.q : oh timo ...
bssmith2 : your outfit is cuteee
ehaula : post Malone is a GOD ... rude of you not to invite me.
tofff73 : honestly you dont deserve to have seen post
curtislazar95 : and as per usual.... where tf was my invite???
holtz_10 : this is cute
dougieham : so while im at dev camp sweating my titties off this is what youre doing !?!?!?!?
↪ suzy.q : I have nothing to do with your team sir
reannelazar : a living breathing idol, youre so cute!!!💖
_quinnhughes : we get it you saw post malone.
kevinbahl88 : omg postyyyyy
ninahischier : please let’s go to a concert when i come visit?!🤩🥰
bboeser : i’m appalled that i wasn’t even contacted for an invite
zadorov_16 : cuties
eliaspettersson : its just offensive to see my best friend do anything without me ....
matthew_tkachuk : gangs all here, but none of u are Stanley Cup Champs
↪ suzy.q : Matthew... kindly stfu
kuzya_096 : oh
tdemko30 : thatcher approved.
bradytkachuk : thanks 4 the invite u hoes
arturssilovs1 : my cappy boy
elblue6 : you guys are such cuties together!!
colecaufield : BLAST
nilshoglander : oo
A.N :
sorry this took a year to post idk what is going on w my motivation... any whooooo.... I changed my desktop Tumblr to light blue instead of how it normally looks and idk how I did that so if anyone knows how to put it back please help.
@fortkachuk and I have cooked up something spicy so watch for that.
im very bored today but I have no motivation to write its weird.
lots of luv
tagged : @skylershines @quinnylouhughesx43 @noahkahansorangejuice
#hockey#nhl#nhl players#nhl imagine#instagram edit#luke hughes#jack hughes#nico hischier#quinn hughes#curtis lazar#nils hoglander#cole caufield#arturs silovs#brady tkachuk#thatcher demko#matthew tkachuk#elias pettersson#brock boeser#nikita zadorov#dawson mercer
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I Saw Taylor Kissing Santa Kloss
Summary: Karlie and Taylor have a secret meet up, leading to the rekindling of their relationship. However, when things start to go right, there's always someone spoiling the fun.
Notes: I had this idea for a while and decided to write it out and see how it goes! Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate, and happy holidays to everyone! (PS, there are 27 lyric references for you swifties!)
Also thank you @thenigotthisfamily for helping me brainstorm these ideas! Thanks for loving kaylor as much as I love you 😘
Word Count: 3797
Warnings: There's some swearing and kissing, and of course tickles, so if you are uncomfortable with that, please do not read.
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Streamers hung from the ceiling. There was glitter on the floor. Lights were strung around the giant mansion. Mistletoe was wrapped around the staircase banister. Lastly, there was a large, decorated tree with a red carpet wrapping around it. This mansion belonged to the one and only: Karlie Kloss.
This year, Karlie was throwing a massive Christmas party with all of her friends and family. Security was lining the front, checking the list of guests that were expected to attend. Karlie was busy touching up her makeup and then began setting out the charcuterie platters.
A cozy, yet festive atmosphere took over the house. The smell of gingerbread cookies filled the air as the timer on the oven went off. This party was gonna be one for the century.
Guests started arriving at the door, including Karlie’s sisters and closest friends. Each guest came with a present, as they were participating in a gift exchange. Karlie was wearing a short, sleeveless red dress, showing off the body of a true supermodel.
After about a half hour, all the guests had arrived and the party was in full swing. Drinks were being downed, snacks were being consumed, and games were being played.
Karlie was in the middle of her turn for truth or dare, when one of her security guards asked her to come aside.
“Karlie, your guest is here,” the security guard whispered, leading her away from the crowd.
A confused look formed on her face, brows furrowed as she was certain everyone on the list was there.
“Hey where’d Karlie go?” Her sister asked.
“I bet it’s her man Josh who just arrived,” someone chimed in, as the group oohed in unison.
Karlie was led to the front door, fear and caution in her small steps. Unlike her, the security guard seemed very relaxed, reassuring Karlie that this wasn’t what she thought it was.
“She wants to meet you in the garden,” the security guard said softly, guiding Karlie gently outside.
“No! I refuse! I don’t even know who it is! My life could be in danger!” Karlie shouted, backing away.
A familiar shadow appeared into the light. The tall, strong build was nothing new to Karlie. As the mysterious guest stepped through the light, a dark green long sleeve dress was revealed.
“It’s me, hi,” a soft spoken voice was revealed.
“Taylor?”
Taylor looked around sheepishly, avoiding eye contact and giving a little wave.
Karlie stared at her for a moment, not saying a word. Taylor dared a glance, looking up into those half moon eyes.
“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?” Karlie asked, shattering her glass on the white tablecloth nearby.
“Wait I can explai–,” Taylor was cut off.
“NO! YOU LISTEN HERE! I have spent years trying to get in touch with you. I even attended your concert for crying out loud! And what do I get? NOTHING!” Karlie shouted, her voice echoing through the mansion.
Taylor looked taken aback, knowing that it was true. She knew Karlie had tried, but sometimes you just don’t know the answer till someone’s on their knees. Oh how she wished Karlie was right now, but it wasn’t the right time.
“Aren’t you gonna say anything?!? You come all the way to my house and crash my party to just sit there and not say anything?!?” I SAID SPEAK NOW!” Karlie shouted, almost out of instinct.
What came next was unexpected for both of them. Taylor burst out laughing, hearing the difference in how she had sung it in the past.
“Karlie, what was that?” Taylor asked through hysterical giggles.
Karlie opened her mouth to answer, before a stream of her own giggles spilled out.
“Trust me, I’ll lead you to the garden,” Taylor said, gently grabbing Karlie’s hand.
The two girls put on their coats and walked to the secret garden gate, where Taylor snuck in through every night that summer to seal her fate. Now in the present day, she was experiencing her fate.
“So…chilly night isn’t it?” Taylor asked, now feeling the silence settling in.
“Yep, gets pretty cold here in New York during the winter. Of course, you wouldn’t know since you’re spending all your time at Chiefs games,” Karlie said, with a bite of passive aggressiveness behind her words.
“You really think I want to be there?” Taylor asked, scoffing a bit.
“Well what am I supposed to think when I open up social media and you’re popping up everywhere with that ugly dude,” Karlie said, as the two of them finally arrived at the garden gate.
“Look, I…,” Taylor trailed off. She wasn’t sure how she should explain this.
“Go on,” Karlie said, as Taylor punched in the code to open the gate to Karlie’s secret garden.
“I just got caught up in the moment I guess. I like being pursued, I like having the attention. I now realize it was all a money gimmick and that there’s a difference between being pursued romantically and just whining,” Taylor explained, letting out a sigh.
“What do you mean?” Karlie asked, encouraging her to elaborate.
“Well, going in I didn’t realize I was just gonna be this big green dollar sign for the NFL. And then I just got sucked in to the attention Travis was giving me that I didn’t realize how awful it looked. He just whines and blasts me on his stupid podcast about not taking his bracelet? I’m sure there’s many people who would love to give me one, and there I was giving in to this guy just because he whined. What lesson am I teaching to the young kids who look up to me? That you’ll get your way if you whine enough?” Taylor asked, as the two had now entered and walked into the garden for a bit.
Karlie pursed her lips, thinking carefully about what to say next.
“You knew I was chasing you,” Karlie said after a small moment of silence.
“What?” Taylor asked.
“Oh don’t play dumb. You literally told everyone in your vault track. You know, that line about you turning into a shrouded mystery when I was chasing you?” Karlie asked.
“Oh yeah, I remember that like it was yesterday,” Taylor said.
“I guess what I’m not fully over is the fact that you were so careful with us and I didn’t get any of that kind of publicity when I chased you. I knew you liked being pursued, and I was the one of the few who did,” Karlie said angrily.
“My mom said it was for the best,” Taylor said quietly, knowing she was cornered.
“IT’S ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IS FOR THE BEST,” Karlie shouted, pointing aggressively towards her.
“Karlie.” Taylor said, it that oh so even tone of hers. She knew how to calm her down.
“I know you’re mad at me, especially for showing up to your party. But I did want to know. Would you have me? Would you want me? Would you trust me?” Taylor asked, hoping the reference would ring a bell.
“Betty,” Karlie said softly.
“Karlie Elizabeth Kloss. You must live under a rock if you thought I wasn’t thinking of you all these years,” Taylor said, smirking slightly.
“But nobody knows. Everyone thinks you’re happily in a relationship with Travis and that you guys are getting married and everything,” Karlie said.
“No one has to know…” Taylor said.
“Are you hinting that in the middle of the night I appear in your dreams?” Karlie asked, cracking a small smile of hope.
“Oh yeah, they’re some of my wildest dreams,” Taylor said.
“Oh yeah? How so?” Karlie asked.
No matter how confident the greatest singer and songwriter of this century was, Karlie never failed in making her blush. This time was no exception.
I..um, forgot,” Taylor said, reverting into her awkward self.
“You sure about that?” Karlie asked, tilting her head slightly and moving a step closer to Taylor.
“I’m sure Karlie,” Taylor scoffed, rolling her eyes.
“How evergreen our group of friends huh?” Karlie asked, poking Taylor’s side, referring to her dark green dress.
Taylor jumped away, avoiding eye contact and not saying a word.
“You know, there’s a party inside,” Karlie said, indirectly inviting her inside.
“How are you gonna pull this off?” Taylor asked.
“The dress or you crashing my party?” Karlie asked
“Both. You know I only bought this dress so you could take it off,” Taylor said with a smirk.
Karlie got her security guards to clear everyone out, saying that the party was over and that Karlie needed the house to herself.
“Now this party’s just for us,” Karlie said, getting wine for both of them, and handing the glass to Taylor.
The two were sitting at a small table across from each other, enjoying their drinks.
They glanced up at the same time, both getting a feeling of familiarity.
“Reminds me of the video that Vogue took down on your birthday,” Taylor said with a giggle.
“I remember you yelling at me that I couldn’t look at the paper,” Karlie said with a playful eyeroll.
“I demand a rematch of the arm wrestle,” Taylor said, fiercely placing her elbow on the table.
“Oh? You want to lose again?” Karlie said, placing hers as well.
“Shut up and fight me,” Taylor said with a competitive glint in her eyes.
“3..2..1 go!” Karlie said, the two of them going at it. Taylor was much stronger now so it was a much closer match.
The two of them were both giggling as the match went on, Taylor now reaching under the table to squeeze Karlie’s knee, causing the other blonde to yelp and lose her strength, resulting in a win for Taylor.
“That’s cheating!” Karlie cried, scooting her chair back from the table to avoid any more tickles.
“All’s fair in love and war,” Taylor said, flexing and kissing her bicep to rub it in Karlie’s face some more.
“Real mature,” Karlie said while shaking her head and grinning.
“Yeah, I’m flexing like a goddamn acrobat,” Taylor said while giggling.
The two of them relocated to the couch, now snacking on one of the many charcuterie boards.
“All right, spill the tea,” Karlie said, popping a piece of cheese into her mouth.
“What?” Taylor asked.
“I know you’re hiding more. Come on, feed me,” Karlie said with a smile.
“I just…I see the media. I see everything that’s posted. I know the truth, and everyone else doesn’t. They picture us as this perfect couple with no flaws, but there’s only so long I can lie to the public and you know I don’t like doing that,” Taylor sighed.
“I mean, they’re partly correct. You have zero flaws. That dude though? Don’t even get me started,” Karlie said with an eye roll of annoyance.
“Oh but you’ve gotten me started,” Taylor said, making a stack of crackers, meat, and cheese.
“I hate his hypocrisy. He goes and blasts the NFL for milking our relationship, and then does the same exact thing on his podcasts and interviews by dropping my name every chance he gets,” Taylor complained.
“And you know, you once said if a man drops your name then you owe him nothing.” Karlie said with a smile.
“Literally. I’m dealing with these rough emotions after what happened in Brazil, and he’s making it about himself. Like I feel like I can’t even grieve without him looking for clout and attention,” Taylor ranted.
Karlie nodded, allowing Taylor to speak her feelings.
“Like I get that we’re popular and good for ratings and media, but does he seriously have to make it that obvious that he’s an attention seeker?” Taylor asked.
“Well, he knows he’s benefitting from this more than you. He’s gonna milk that cow till it’s dry unfortunately,” Karlie replied.
“It just got so out of control. Tabloids started publishing articles that we were gonna get engaged on my birthday,” Taylor said, as Karlie snorted in amusement.
“I’ve seen you out in public with him. You are not a good actress,” Karlie said while laughing.
“It’s just hard when it’s not natural. Like when I giggle and sit in your lap, or give you that look when walking down the runway with you. All of that was so natural and my face gave it all away,” Taylor said, now breaking eye contact.
“You could’ve been a Victoria Secret model if you weren’t so dang good with words,” Karlie said.
“Well, what can I say? Words are kinda my thing,” Taylor chuckled.
“OH! And don’t even get me started on Twitter,” Taylor said, chugging her glass of wine.
“The whole shebang about how his old tweets were wholesome?” Karlie asked, refilling both of their glasses.
“YES! I do not get how people think a person who can’t spell basic words is wholesome. AND THEN, they cover up all the awful things he said in the past,” Taylor said, getting a little angrier.
“What did he say?” Karlie asked.
“Well you can thank our fans for finding it, but basically he called people retarded, made fun of gay people, called women breeders AND made fun of people with eating disorders. Something I suffered from for so long because I never felt I was skinny or fit enough. That hurts, and you know I don’t stand for all those other things he said,” Taylor said, staring into Karlie’s eyes.
“You know we’re in very similar situations. In relationships with guys who don’t match our values and views. Josh and I have very different values and people question the relationship as well. And fuck him for saying all that. It’s hypocritical for him to call people retarted when he can’t even spell simple words,” Karlie ranted.
“I just feel like it takes away all the credibility of all that I have spoken out about. I speak out for women not only in the industry but all women. I support gays and wrote YNTCD to show my solidarity. I spoke out and wrote YOYOK about my eating disorder and how I overcame it. But now everyone is gonna think I don’t mean any of it because of his conflicting views,” Taylor said with annoyance.
“I know it’s frustrating since it kinda questions the credibility of your statements, but you have no idea how much power you have. You are on top of the world right now. If you want this to end, that decision is in your hands,” Karlie explained.
“I just feel stuck. If I break up, everyone is just gonna keep going on about how I can’t keep a man and how I lead the world in most breakups. Then, if I don’t, I’m gonna be stuck with this moocher,” Taylor said, thrusting her head back into a pillow.
“Or…you could be stuck with me,” Karlie suggested, trying her best to keep her bold facet.
“W-what?” Taylor stuttered.
“You and me. We’d be a big conversation,” Karlie said while smirking.
“But what about Josh? And the kids?” Taylor asked.
“Josh already knows he’s a beard, but he got his wish of having kids. And I absolutely adore the kids, but Josh isn’t really there for them as much as I’d like if I’m being honest,” Karlie said with a sigh.
They sat in silence for a moment, both with thoughts whirling through their heads at 100 mph.
“I know you’re still mad at me,” Taylor said softly.
“I’m not really. At least not as much now. I was mad at the sudden drop off and the lack of acknowledgement at your tour, but I couldn’t help feeling so proud of you when you announced 1989 TV. I still remember when I was the first person to listen to the original album,” Karlie said longingly.
“I knew you were there,” Taylor said quietly.
“Oh, did you?” Karlie asked.
“Why do you think I kept looking up there that night? You’re kind of a giraffe Karlie,” Taylor said teasingly.
“Like that time you kept pointing to me during the Rep Tour during Dress,” Karlie said with a wink.
Taylor rolled her eyes, knowing that she didn’t have a leg to stand on.
“But you know, I still stand by my statement. You belong with me,” Karlie said, shifting closer to Taylor on the couch.
Taylor blushed and looked away, cheeks burning.
“Are you impressed that I actually know your lyrics? Unlike some Burger King looking dude,” Karlie said, making Taylor burst out laughing.
“I am. I’m also impressed by your charisma,” Taylor said, reaching for Karlie’s hand as a gesture for accepting her love.
“Awwww, look at you. You’re always so confident when you’re performing. What’s wrong?” Karlie asked, smirking at Taylor.
“You know I can take my word back, right?” Taylor asked, giving Karlie a look of warning.
“Alright fine, I’ll tease you later,” Karlie said, now getting up to put stuff away.
After washing up, the two of them were back on the couch again, both in comfy pajamas.
The two of them were still drunk, and were both a lot more bold than before.
“Ugh my feet hurt. Massage them,” Taylor said, thrusting her bare feet into Karlie’s lap.
“Fine,” Karlie said, sighing with a smile.
“Oooh yeah that feels good. This would be so nice after I perform. My feet always hurt so bad,” Taylor said, adjusting herself on the couch.
“So I’m just gonna be your servant?” Karlie asked playfully.
“At least you’ll be a hot servant,” Taylor said, squealing as Karlie ran a nail up her sole.
“Kahaharlie! No!” Taylor said, sounding more childish than usual.
“No what?” Karlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing,” Taylor said, regaining her composure again.
“You’re still ticklish huh?” Karlie said, now using one hand to hold her feet down and the other to tickle up and down her arches.
“NOHO IHIM NOHOHOT,” Taylor laughed, trying to pull her feet away.
“Laughing with my feet in your lap~~” Karlie sang teasingly, making Taylor blush.
“STAHAHAHAP,” Taylor shouted, sitting up to hit Karlie on the shoulder.
“Oh no, you’re in for it. Don’t think I forgot about how you cheated during the arm wrestling match,” Karlie said, moving quickly and pinning Taylor to the couch with her arms above her head.
“IM SORRY,” Taylor shouted immediately, knowing that Karlie was going to destroy her.
“Hmm, I accept your apology but that doesn’t exempt you from punishment,” Karlie said, now using her nails to lightly scratch over Taylor’s sensitive armpits.
“AHAHAHAHAHAHA KAHAHAHRLIHIHIE PLEHEHEHEASE,” Taylor laughed. Nothing was more embarrassing than this.
“Yes?” Karlie asked, grinning like a devil.
“IHIHIT TIHIHIHICKLES,” Taylor squealed adorably.
“That’s the point. The point is to make you suffer from this awful sensation and laugh so I can see that beautiful smile of yours,” Karlie said, now leaning down to blow a raspberry on her neck, earning a loud squeal.
Karlie repeatedly blew raspberries on her neck while clawing and tickling away at Taylor’s sides.
“IHIHIHI GIHIHIVE,” Taylor screamed, as Karlie relented with a triumphant grin.
Taylor laid there, panting in recovery.
“You are the absolute worst meanie head on earth,” Taylor said, as Karlie laughed.
“That’s the best you can come up with, lyrical genius?” Karlie teased, poking Taylor’s tummy.
“Stoppppp,” Taylor whined, curling up into a ball.
After Taylor recovered, she couldn’t help but question if Karlie was also ticklish. If she had ever tested during all those years she could’ve gotten so much revenge.
Taylor reached out slowly, and gently poked Karlie in the ribs, earning a jump from the taller blonde.
“Stop being a pest,” Karlie said playfully, scooting away from her.
“What did you just call me?” Taylor said, pulling Karlie into a tickle hug, clawing at her ribs.
“AHAHAHA AN ANGEHEHEL,” Karlie lied, unable to defend herself, as her arms were trapped.
“That’s not what I heard. And anyway, if you called me that I would be rolling my eyes, not tickling you,” Taylor said, as she moved her hands towards Karlie’s shiny abs.
“NO! NOT THEHEHEHERE!” Karlie laughed, cursing her muscles for being so ticklish.
Taylor dared and wiggled her finger into Karlie’s belly button, earning a jolt from the supermodel and a loud plea of laughter.
“There is nothing I do better than revenge~” Taylor sang teasingly.
“TRUHUHUHUCE!” Karlie cried.
“Hmm, I don’t know…You did a lot worse to me,” Taylor said, now getting up and sitting on Karlie’s shins.
“Now tell me. Does this tickle?” Taylor said, running her nails all over Karlie’s inner thighs.
“YEHEHEHES NOW STAHAHAHAP,” Karlie squealed, unable to kick or protect herself. Taylor was very satisfied when she ran her nails over her inner knee and got Karlie to curse.
“WHAHAHAT DOHOHO YOHOHOU WAHAHANT,” Karlie screamed.
“Nothing, I just find it hot when you’re laughing and helpless,” Taylor said with a shrug, making Karlie blush while still laughing.
Eventually Taylor let her up after tormenting her for a little bit longer.
“Your hair is a mess,” Taylor teased, as if she wasn’t the same just before that.
“You’re still worse than me,” Karlie said while rolling her eyes.
“Uh huh.”
“You know, don’t people usually kiss under the mistletoe?” Karlie asked.
“Is it too soon to do this yet?” Taylor asked.
“You’ve already sat in my lap before, so I may as well be Santa Kloss,” Karlie said, as Taylor laughed at the ridiculous play on words.
“I’ve been waiting so long for this,” Taylor said, as the two of them were now under the mistletoe.
“Me too,” Karlie growled, as the two leaned in. However it was stopped quickly when Karlie said she forgot her Santa hat and how it wouldn’t be ‘Santa Kloss’ without it.
The taller blonde returned quickly, causing Taylor to giggle at the ridiculous situation.
“Now, where were we?” Karlie asked.
“You were being horny,” Taylor teased, as Karlie pinched her side, causing her to yelp.
“No, you’re the one talking about how long you’ve been waiting for this,” Karlie refuted.
“You’re mine,” Taylor stated, leaning up to passionately kiss Karlie. Taylor placed her hands on Karlie’s ass, feeling the familiar toned shape she had felt before. Karlie let out a soft moan of satisfaction, making Taylor’s lips turn upwards during the kiss.
“What the hell is going on?!” A familiar voice rang throughout the house after a couple of minutes of making out.
Karlie turned around quickly, as both of their eyes widened at the sight of Josh and the kids.
There was a moment of silence before one of the kids spoke up.
“I saw Taylor kissing Santa Kloss!!”
“Shade never made anybody less gay. We’ve got some men to dump,” Karlie said quietly to Taylor before walking towards Josh to handle this.
To be continued…
#taylor swift#karlie kloss#kaylor#kaylor fanfiction#kaylor fanfic#tickle fic#taylor x karlie#travis kelce#gaylor#ticklish!taylor#taylornation#swifties#taylor swift fanfiction#fanfic#fluff#kaylor fic#christmas fic#christmas#tayvis#chiefs#kansas city chiefs#Joe alwyn
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i kinda talked myself up abt it and looked at hotels within walking distance of the venue with the fun lil plan of going and just spending the night then coming back the next day. and tbh i think maybe i could do it! and would have fun! but i asked my mom and she said she'd rather me not use her car to go that far... its only 3 hrs away 😔
ouuhgh one of my fav artists is playing nearby in a week and im so torn. I could get tickets, theyre actually reasonably priced..but its a 3 hour drive there (then the drive back) and id be going alone and then id have to ask my mom if I could use her car...I've never been to a concert alone and have no idea how my anxiety would do. but also what if she never performs near here again 😔
#sad. oh well#i kind of expected that. she said she doesnt want me going that far alone bc shes worried abt ~the crime rates~ there#....im 26. ive been further to go to concerts. shit ive been to this EXACT venue before and its literally a decent area. lol 🙃#if i still had my van u know id fucking go . im so sick of asking my parents to use their cars and then get talked to like im 16. lke hello#i guess it is better to save that 280ish id prob spent on tickets + the hotel + gas there but still. its the fact she said no...#my sister did say i could use her vehicle but it kinda scares me its broken down a few times JKASHDFKJ it was very nice of her to offer tho#she has to work and has a parent teacher thing otherwise id ask her to just go with me going to a concert alone makes me kinda sad to#think abt bc i always went w a friend and im not friends w him anymore so. yeah a bit depressing if i think too much on it#its fine. itll be fine. swagever#sanchoyorambles
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stray kids as...my loved ones
author's note: it's been a while since i've posted and im not sure how how many new lovies have joined since i lowkey ghosted everyone! but in case you guys didn't know, i have the sweetest, silliest stay family (we all went to the stray kids concert together in melbs). and i feel like my love for them and their personalities really correspond to certain members, especially through our relationships. i've been wanting to make a post like this for a while and here it finally is! enjoy x
my mum as lee minho
like minho, my mum is quite introverted, but very giggly and talkative when she's with our family and her few close friends. she's selective about who she shows this side of her personality to, and it just makes it more special for those (like me) who get to see it daily
when watching the skz two kids room, mum said that jisung and minho's friendship is a lot like our relationship (SOBBING). whilst im loud and a certified yapper, my mum is still my quiet, safe space and a place where i can just calm myself down and lower my energy
we're also both on the adhd spectrum which i majorly see for them lols
she loves to cook, and acts of service are her way of showing her love. she grew up in a japanese household, and culturally you don't show as much affection, but she's learning. and im a major physical touch girlie, and ive seen her try to teach herself to love me that way. basically the best mum ever
oh, and she ADORES cats!
she's also lowkey like a mum of skz, kinda like minho is, but from a distance obvs. she treats them all like her sons, she has a picture of them on our fridge, photocard in her phone, listens to skz lofi whilst working. she supports them in every way and always gets so excited about their achievements.
essentially, she's a very calming, but at times chaotic presence, and im so lucky to have her. she's the perfect person to balance me out.
my dad as...seo changbin
oh, and if i say my dad is the BIGGEST goofball?
he's so silly. unlike changbin he's actually super tall (muahaha) but changbin is def musclier. so.
anyway moral is they both lowkey look a little intimidating, but in reality they're absolute softies. babygirls, if you will.
like changbin, my dad is a major girl group stan. for his birthday last year, he literally bought us twice tickets and when i tell you he knew EVERY lyric! he also has a love for every girl group choreo ever, with a penchant for newjeans' hype boy (cough CHANGBIN)
again, above all, he's just a very sweet, silly guy. he's very dependable, and he and i will often work on house projects together, whether it be painting or building furniture or making him help me rearrange my bedroom. with twice blasting in the background, it's gonna get done and it's gonna get done WELL
he's very accepting and listens when i yap, or when im confused about things. him and mum have that balance of giving me very down to earth advice, but also silly jokes and comments
ALSO like a proud dad of skz. he adores them and gets so excited about their achievements.
my brother as...yang jeongin
my brother is lowkey the coolest and im actually jealous of him sometimes bc he's a major silly goose without putting in effort to be one and he somehow actually has a decent fashion sense for a 14 year old boy. okay king, dropped ur crown!
BUT like yenie, this boy can be sarcastic and jokey. we always try and smother him in physical affection and he ALWAYS teases us for it and goes "ew" (lowk seungmin core)
BUT THE REASON I SAY JEONGIN IS BC HE DOES THE FOOD THING. THE THING WHERE YOU SHOVE A TON OF FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH AT ONCE. HE DOES IT. IT'S SO SILLY
my sister as...lee felix
oh she's the sweetest. i wake up to little notes and paper crafts from her, and she LOVES to bake me sweet treats. i take her on little coffee dates to the cafe where i work, and my coworkers adore her. yes, she gets two extra marshmallows for free. sometimes a third. sometimes a cookie, too. they're whipped, and who wouldn't be?
she's also a gamer BAHAHAHA if you count dress to impress, and she's GOOD. even though she's legit only 10 herself, she tells those other basic 10 year olds who's boss. always on the podium, making her fashionista sister proud
she always just wants to spend time with people. she's like a cat, just follows you around. sometimes adorable, sometimes drives me crazy.
she also does the felix sees, felix does. she loves imitating my brother and i, whether it be our mannerisms or phrases. she saw our handshake and immediately wanted in. she heard us call each other silly names and asked us to make her one. she's the cutest.
#star blabs#stray kids#kpop#skz#changbin#bangchan#changbin x reader#stray kids x reader#tag games#stray kids fic#incorrects#skz incorrects#skz fic#stray kids incorrect texts#skz kpop#skz meme#stay#we're a stay fam
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Hello!! I really like your work... if it were food I would eat it (weird compliment but still—)
I'd like to request platonic! headcanons rinne and hiiro with their sibling who is a singer in a girl rock band like Leo/Need (not exactly the same, just as an example for the music she plays)
Hehe, thank you so much, I'm really happy to know that people like my writing! ♡ I took a listen to Leo/need (for research) and I LOVE their song 'Teratera'. Anyways, I made the reader younger than Rinne, but a bit older than Hiiro (middle child things). I hope you enjoy reading, and thank you for requesting! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝
Rinne and Hiiro Amagi w/ a sister who is a singer in a girl rock band!
Genres/types: Headcanons (platonic!)
Word count: 1,218
Rinne Amagi
– Your biggest supporter and he isn’t scared to show it.
– Whenever he'd go to your concerts, people would give him dirty looks because he looks like a big scary guy, but he’s just there to support his little sister.
– Would support you by buying all your group's albums and merch. You’d be embarrassed by this, but deep down you’re extremely appreciative. He would try to get himself an ita bag to display your badges, but you begged him not to.
"You don't act like this with Hiiro!" you cry.
"That's because you're different, my dear sister~"
– Since the three of you don't live together, the only time you'd meet up is at your place. You'd play a little sample for your brothers with your bass. They always listened to you attentively. You were always talented with instruments ever since you three grew up back in the village.
"Oooh, let me play one of your songs, onii-san!" you tell Rinne. "I like that song you did with 2wink, what was it called?"
"It's Lemon Squash Cheers!" Hiiro answers.
"Yes, that's it! Let's sing it all together! I learnt some parts of the chorus, hehe~"
"Aww, how sweet, so you do catch up with what I do~" teases Rinne.
"Of course I do!" you say happily. "I keep up with both of you, and I'm really proud of you!"
They were more proud of you though.
– Rinne would tell his unit members all about you. Out of all the three Crazy:B members, only Niki was interested. HiMERU was surprised Rinne had another sibling and so was Kohaku, but they didn't press on further, not until you decided to meet them for lunch one day. They were surprised at how different you were compared to their leader. You were composed and kind unlike Rinne.
"Don't fall in love with her though," Rinne would tell them, embarrassing you yet again.
"I can't believe you two are siblings though," HiMERU states. "Do you know how much trouble your brother has made for us?"
"I am so sorry for his behaviour," you say. "Hiiro and I aren't like that..."
– Rinne likes to boast about your achievements and performances. You always thought that he was favouring you over Hiiro though, so you'd have to scold him for it.
"Give some appreciation to our little brother!"
"Eh, should I...?"
"Come on, onii-san!"
– But you loved Rinne. He was your big brother that you always went to when things turned south. Whenever the haters got to you, he was always there to tell you that they are insignificant and that you should focus on those that love you. He's the first person you will ever turn to when you needed help.
– You would catch him sing to your songs and play your bass. He isn't embarrassed by this, and even asks you to teach him how to play.
"Onii-san, you should know how to play a bass," you say, not bothered to teach him nor correct yourself that the thing you were thinking of was–
"That is a tonkori; that is completely different, (Y/N)."
– He loves tossing you high in the air when your group receives an award at a music show. Well, he tosses you up in the air for no reason anyway.
– Always brings up that he wants to collab with you. The other Crazy:B members don't see a problem with this, and neither does your group. Maybe if you were permitted, you'll be able to sing on stage with your big brother one day. You could play your bass with your band whilst he dances. That would be fun!
– Ultimately, he is very proud of what you have made for yourself. He will continue to keep supporting you and your group, and will always watch your performances on his phone when he couldn't make it to your concerts in person.
Hiiro Amagi
– You're his biggest inspiration (apart from Rinne, of course)! Although he sings in his idol group too, your performances are a lot different than his. You sing AND play the bass with the other members of your rock band who play a variety of other instruments.
– He looks up to you a lot, and would watch your performances on his phone. He likes how passionate you look when you sing. He tries to incorporate the way you present yourself into his performances, but only a little bit.
– Would sneak into your concerts because he thinks that siblings don’t need to pay until you tell him not to do that because you don’t want security up his ass.
– In the end, you give him a special pass so if he wanted to attend your concerts, he can do it properly.
– He adores you so much! He would even ask you to help him with idol training. You always obliged because he’s your little brother after all, and you were incredibly proud of him!
– Sometimes you two would dance together to some of ALKALOID’s songs. He’d be surprised at how quickly you learn the lyrics. You love his group's songs and would sometimes play them on your bass. He would listen to you play with a big smile on his face.
– Also would try to sing to your songs and play your bass. He's a lot better than Rinne, and learns quick. He performs one of your group's songs to you, and you couldn't help but smile at how much he admires you.
– Would tell Aira all about you since Aira seems to be knowledgable when it comes to idols.
“I have a sister who’s the lead singer of her band. Have you heard of her?”
“Huh, you do? Who is she?”
“(Y/N) from X Band.”
“WHAT?! SHE’S related to you?!”
– He buys some of your merch, but his favourite item has to be the plushie of you with your bass. He keeps it by his bedside table at the dorms. It's like his sister is always beside him cheering him on, and of course, you were cheering him on in person too!
– Because you have more experience in the industry, he would always call you for help. You were always happy that he confided in you.
"Thank you, nee-san!"
"No problem, Hiiro."
– He misses his older siblings a lot, but he misses you more and would call you every night before bed.
"Today has been good, nee-san! I worked with my seniors at Star Pro today and I learnt a lot about being a good idol! Hokuto Hidaka from Trickstar was with me today and..."
"That sounds wonderful, Hiiro. I'm glad you're having fun!"
"Yes! I'm off to bed now, and you should go to sleep early too, nee-san."
"Yes, yes, I will... just for my baby brother~"
He laughs on the phone. "Haha, goodnight, nee-san!"
"Goodnight, Hiiro."
– He'd hug you tightly whenever you'd win an award for your group's music. He's a bit taller than you, but you adore hugs from your little brother.
– He'd hug you after every encounter, and you would let him because you missed him too. The two of you would try to get Rinne in on the hug as well, and with force, you'd succeed.
– He loves his older siblings so much, and you love him the same. It's nice to see the three of you pursue the same career.
Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules
#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars x reader#ensemble stars x reader#fanfic#x reader#hiiro amagi#rinne amagi#hiiro amagi x reader#rinne amagi x reader#platonic reader#rinne x reader#hiiro x reader#enstars platonic reader
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HipHop's 50th Anniversary: What 'Culture' are We talking about?
I was in Elementary School back on Aug. 11th 1973. My family left The Bronx, but I spent a lot of time w/ my 'big cousins' in the Harlem River Houses. My cousin Mona babysat my brother & I, taking Us everywhere w/ her; including dates. I remember Mona taking Us to 'The Summer Of Soul Concert' in Harlem, & I remember going to a few of those Park Jams in Bronxdale & in Soundview. I think We saw more of King Mario than Kool Herc & Coke La Rock. My oldest brother formally introduced me to HipHop in the Spring of 1977 (b4 the Blackout). I remember coming home from School to find his Crew set up in Our Dining Room.
I got my 1st look from the 'Other Side of The Rope', & I was hooked! I wasn't a Rapper (yet), or a Break Dancer, but I had an ear for music. Like a lot of Old School Deejays (& under My brother's tutelage) I cut My teeth on Component Sets & BSR Turntables; rocking Line In switches b4 getting a [real] Mixer... I bought My own DJ Set in 1984 (B2s), & mastered my Craft as a Street DJ, & later in a few NYC Clubs. Most DJs are disciples of [Grand Master] Flash or [Grand Wizard] Theodore; I was more of a disciple of Jazzy Jay & Cut Master DC. We All have Our Unique Features, but EVERYONE went back to School when Jazzy Jeff introduced the 'Transformer Cut', back in 1986. Like a lot of DJs disenchanted w/ 'Gangsta Rap', I split time w/ HipHop's Twin Sister- House Music.
I say all of this, to qualify myself as a 'bonafide Shorty' of 1st Generation HipHop, & a full fledged Member of The New School Era. My point, is to say that 'In The Beginning', there was just The Culture. It didn't have a formal name- but it was being done ALL OVER NYC. I associate the '1520 Sedgwick Avenue' Story of HipHop w/ Afrika Bambaataa; he's The First Person that I remember telling this Story. Disco King Mario predated Kool Herc by years. Herc copied Mario's Style- down to his equipment! King Mario wasn't alone, Pete 'DJ' Jones & Hank Spann & were dueling Frankie Crocker & Gary Byrd On The Radio (WWRL vs WBLS), while DJ Flowers, DJ Spotlight, DJ Smokey, DJ Hollywood, The Disco Twins, & a number of Club DJs were also mixing it up.
A major argument is whether Disco is connected to HipHop. The Cats up in The Bronx say HELL NO, while the rest of NYC says HELL YES! People need to understand that when We talk about 'Disco', we don't mean 'The Sound' or Studio 54; We mean 'The Disco Fever', 'Harlem World', 'Sugar Hill', & 'The Factory'. The DJs that spun @ these Clubs molded the format that HipHop DJs still follow Today. Kool Herc is credited w/ The 'Merry Go Round'- his mix of Break Beats, but he wasn't the only DJ mixing Breaks or James Brown songs. The Black Spades that were interviewed, speak on King Mario spinning 'Soul Power' & how they chanted 'Spade Power'- as early as 1971. This creates a schism between Bronxdale & Soundview.
Black Americans say HipHop started in Bronxdale, as late as 1971. West Indians; Jamaican- Americans in particular, say it started on Aug. 11th, 1973. Puerto Ricans [Nuyoricans/ Puerto Rocks] say it started between 1975 & 1977, when Afrika Bambaataa incorporated Latino Breakers into 'his' HipHop scene. While there is debate over When & Where in The Bronx it started, EVERYONE AGREES that HipHop was created to Stop Gang Violence. The Culture involves individual expression through Graffiti, B- Boy Style of Dress, & Dance, Spoken Word, & the ability to keep The Party going non-stop. The Original Gangs splintered into Crews that now 'battled' each other w/ Turntables & Mics, on the Dance floor, & w/ Spray Paint Cans (Bombing).
The vernacular of HipHop is based in The Nation Of Islam & The Nation of Gods & Earths, so it's big on Black Power, Black Excellence, & The Traditional Black Family. Both Organizations are Pan Afrikan in their Philosophy, so The Black Diaspora is represented. The same is true w/ The Zulu Nation. Before the rise of The Nation of Latin Kings & Queens, you would find Latino Zulu Kings & Queens- it was All Love! Afrika Bambaataa coined HipHop's 'Mission Statement' of: "Peace, Unity, Love, & Having Fun!", in a song w/ James Brown by the same Name. He also defined the existing '5 Elements' as the fundamentals of HipHop Culture. The Zulu Nation were the unofficial Ambassadors of HipHop; first taking it Downtown, & later taking it Globally... No One questioned Bambaataa's actions.
As We celebrate 50Yrs of HipHop, Afrika Bambaataa's Legacy is tarnished @ best. He has been Radio Silent, since allegations of Child Molestation rose against him 7Yrs ago. Every Move that Bambaataa made is being questioned- Was it a good move for HipHop to go Downtown to SoHo? Did it open the door to the current 'isms' that plague The Culture? It was a Black Specific art form, but it opened itself up to integration w/ Sexual Deviants, Drug Abusers, & White Record Executives. In retrospect, We can see what lured Bam Downtown. I'm curious- is the current manifestation of 'The Culture' Bambaataa's intended goal? It goes against his language, but it's in line w/ his actions.
In the wake of Afrika Bambaataa's 'Fall from Grace', people began questioning his narrative of HipHop. Original B- Boys are still walking The Streets, so it wasn't hard to fact check. DJ Phase has spoke on many Youtube videos under 'The Culture', where he breaks down the Foundation of what became HipHop. According to DJ Phase, HipHop was born on June 7th, 1971- in the Bronxdale Houses. He said that it wasn't organized; Mario simply set up on the grass & spun records. Later that Summer, in July- DJ Phase said that they were more organized w/ more sound & records, so THAT was when Brothers got serious about what they were doing. Disco King Mario did a series of Jams that culminated in the legendary 'Rosedale Park' Jam, that lit up The Bronx & inspired future pioneers.
There is a lot of controversy today concerning the Origins of HipHop. Jason Black, of 'The Black Authority' had the best comment on the subject: "Success has many Fathers, but Failure is an Orphan". As We question the running narrative of HipHop's birth, We also have to question WHO gets Credit for WHAT. No One questions the contributions of Jamaicans, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, Haitians, & Panamanians to The Culture, but the claims being made by Busta Rhymes, Pete Rock, Fat Joe, & John Leguizamo are disrespectful. Busta & Pete Rock assert that Jamaican Culture DIRECTLY INFLUENCED HipHop; Busta says 90%. He goes on to say that Kool Herc brought the Sound System & Jamaican 'Toasting' or 'Ranking' to the Bronx Youth. Puerto Ricans weren't really prominent in HipHop b4 'Beat Street' & the 'Break Dance Movies', but Fat Joe & John Leguizamo say Puerto Rico contributed 50% to The Culture... They ALL sound ridiculous.
In an effort to get ahead of King Mario predating Kool Herc, people have gone as far as saying that Disco King Mario is [half] Puerto Rican. When it was proven that Mario came from North Carolina, a Story came out that his family migrated to (Jim Crow) North Carolina back in 1912. Mario's Sister says they aren't Puerto Rican- They're North Carolinian & 'Country'... His Mother just liked the name Mario. This effort to remove Black Americans from a Black American genre is confusing. Making a contribution 'to', or an innovation 'of' something, doesn't make one 'The Originator' of it. DJ Phase made a point to elaborate on The Energy behind HipHop, & what inspired it. Our Family from The Diaspora mostly arrived after The Civil Rights Movement; They really don't know what AmeriKKKa was like before 1970.
Contrary to what Busta Rhymes, Pete Rock, or Fat Joe may say, HipHop begins w/ The Black Spades. As a boy in Harlem, I remember how revered The Black Spades were. They were respected, but I didn't understand why... Before The Black Spades, Blackfolk in The Bronx were being victimized by Whitefolk; 'Authur Avenue' Italians, in particular. According to The Black Spades, they couldn't go ANYWHERE w/o being attacked, so they organized & struck back. The Black Spades- essentially Black Teens, didn't just beat those Racists back; they opened up The Bronx for EVERY Black Person, giving them The Right of Autonomy. That Energy or Spirit of Revolution was celebrated in Song & Dance, & King Mario was The Conductor.
Kool Herc got to see King Mario & The Black Spades at 'The Tunnel'. He heard the Breaks & saw how the Black Spades reacted- He heard the chants of 'Spade Power!' Herc himself said that he analyzed what 'they were doing' & came up w/ The Merry Go Round. That, is an innovation. Herc never said that he introduced Toasting to those Baby Spades; in fact, Herc admitted trying to play Jamaican Music, but The Crowd didn't take to it. If Busta & Pete Rock were right, We should have some Reggae among familiar Beat Beats. All of these Cats talk about 'Culture', but they just sound ignorant. A 'Culture' is defined as: 'The sum total of Social Life'. If West Indian (i.e. Jamaican) and/or Latinx (i.e. Puerto Rican) Culture plays such a major role in HipHop, why did ALL of them adopt Black American Social Mores? Kool Herc admitted that he was clowned when he arrived in The Bronx; he thought Cowboy Boots were cool.
If we're going to run w/ the: 'Kool Herc is The Father of HipHop' Story, Coke La Rock should @ least be mentioned. He is credited w/ being The First Emcee. He was Herc's Partner. Busta & a literal Legion of Yardies want to coronate Herc as 'King of HipHop', but it was Coke La Rock that transformed 'Clive' into 'Kool Herc'. Clive DIDN'T KNOW THE CULTURE. Coke La Rock took him down to 125th Street, showed him what to buy, & how to sport it. Somehow, Coke La Rock was written out of the narrative. Again, Bambaataa started this. Another issue w/ Herc being hailed as 'The Father' of HipHop, is how easily he Bowed Down to U- Roy. Herc referred to him as 'his King'. Big Respect to U- Roy, I- Roy & ALL the Pioneers of Ska, Reggae, Lover's Rock, Dub Poetry, & Dancehall! That said, Black Americans BOW TO NO ONE! This is a Problem.
When We talk about Culture, HipHop embodies The Spirit of Revolution. Lay it out on the Black American Timeline, & it's a natural transition; from Work Songs, to Ragtime, to Jazz, to Rhythm & Blues, to Soul & Funk, to HipHop. It's the tireless spirit of Black Liberation in AmeriKKKa. Where does Jamaican or Puerto Rican 'Culture' fit in? They were 'Lovers, not Fighters'. We were Angry! What were they angry about? They were in America- Everything was 'Irie'! When DJ Phase was asked about this [Kool Herc] narrative, he cut to The Chase & said that this narrative gives Whitefolk a 'lane of claim' to Our Culture. It was Too Black, Too Strong, but it's been watered down. When We raise Our Heads, We will see that the people claiming ownership of Our Culture, are the same people representing Us in Government. They are the ones allowing Benign Neglect to continue & contesting Our Right to receive [Lineage Based] Reparations. They also represent Us 'On Screen', but they rarely depict Us in a dignified manner; We're either Ghetto, or Cowards.
While We're on the subject of 'Culture', let's point out how the level of deviance & violence has risen w/ the number of Jamaican & Puerto Rican Rappers. Boogie Down Productions gets Full Credit for setting off the 9mm talk. Just- Ice's 'The Original Gangster of Hip Hop' was just plain Raw... Also, B- Girls didn't dress like or behave like Dancehall Girls; compare Shante, Sweet Tee, & Latifah to Lil Kim, Nikki Minaj, & Cardi B. White Record Executives, like Lyor Cohen, have rerouted HipHop's 'messaging' to target Suburban Whitefolk eager to hear about 'Ghetto Life'. Today's Artists have been set up lovely by those who came before them, but I wonder if the New Jacks know The History? Do they know what it took for Us to maintain this? Cats had to show restraint, because Authorities were just waiting for Us to mess up. U can literally count the # of times U heard the N- Word b4 NWA... Do they know Themfolks tried to shut Us down in 1982; leading to the 'New School/ Hardcore Era' that started in 1983- 1984 w/ Run-DMC, T- La Rock & Jazzy Jay, & LL Cool J?
Truth be told, The Park Jams faded out by 1986- 1987. The Crack Wars began to make large gatherings dangerous. The 1st Crack Dealers (in My Hood) were The Dreads, who sold out of Weed Spots. The 'Rude Boys' weren't concerned w/ 'protocol', so things got Hot pretty quickly.... I understand that there is an effort to make HipHop EVERYONE'S genre, but it isn't; not anymore than Motown or Bebop. The World is welcome to enjoy HipHop, but make No Mistake- it's a Black American genre that just happens to be globally appreciated & adopted by many. That said, notions of people like Kool Herc, or Eminem being the 'Father' or 'King' diminish the effect that those 'Baby Spades' had on The Original Concept. We can appreciate their contributions, but HipHop Culture is bigger than them. It has a purpose, & it's NOT making Non Indigenous Blackfolk wealthy.
It was a youthful expression of Black Power & Creativity, but outside forces have turned it into a Golden Goose that only benefits White Record Execs & their Proxies. We treated Her like a Debutant, but She has been reduced to a Crack Whore that EVERYONE can get a piece of. Young Family has to go back to The Root. A Race War is looming, & i'm not sure that their music is up to task. Most of today's Artists are more concerned w/ their 30 pieces of silver, than The Culture it represents. Cats like Busta & Fat Joe aren't concerned, they're taking the money & running. Fat Joe wasn't even a Rapper back in The Day, he was a Stick up Kid; so he's always been about the 'Vic'. Immortal Technique & Big Pun R The Real Deal... HipHop has become symbolic of Black American Courtesy- We say: "have some", & Our 'guest' proceeds to help themselves to Everything. NO ONE is allowed to be more than a Guest in the genres of Jamaican & Latinx Music, so why do they expect ownership in Black American Music?
When We talk about HipHop Culture, We need to remove All the noise in The Room. ANYONE making a claim to Our Culture should be Checked quickly. This 'Back to School Party' Story doesn't make sense! It's supposed to be inspirational, but it's narrated like just another Party. What's so special about it? What exactly motivated Herc's Sister to have this Party, several weeks before School started? How does this 'Party' spark a Movement? Compare it w/ HipHop being a Celebration of Black Youth in The Bronx [dramatically] winning their fight against White Supremacy & their Right of Autonomy- An UNAPOLOGETIC DISPLAY of Black Power. There was a REASON why NYPD left Mario & the Black Spades Deejays alone. When they were 'Jamming', The Black Spades weren't beating down White Racists... No disrespect, but Immigrant Family weren't Here, so they don't know what sparked this Movement.
The Original Concept of HipHop is rooted in stopping Gang Violence. It was a creative alternative to the death & destruction that We brought on each other. The current version of it is so far removed, it's almost unrecognizable. Today's manifestation is literally a Death Cult that offers little to no benefit to The Artist. White Executives seem convinced that it's only about Beats & Rhymes, but the Crap being presented is vulgar & cookie cutter; which defies HipHop's demand for Originality & Excellence. After 50+Yrs, it's apparent that HipHop is best represented when it's Culturally connected to the Experience of Black American Life. EVERYONE ELSE is a House Guest & should behave accordingly.
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