#then ummmmm somethin g about their perceptions of their relationship

[milfbrainrot]

bloomington thoughts

it took me like 8 years to watch this both because i just didn't have a place to and because i heard, that this professor/student film, portrayed a too-toxic relationship lmfao. honestly glad it was a little spicy. compared to how loving annabelle led up to the girls getting together in the end it is interesting to see this film start that way and then have the relationship deteriorate.

not a great film overall lol but anything femslash age gap does feel a bit like home to me so i think i liked it more than others may have. the dialogue was sometimes kinda stuff and the camera choices were odd at times but the writing clearly had... some intention to it beyond surface level sex appeal, even if the structure felt messy.

i like that they set up jackie having an absent mother and catherine having dead parents. both of them had to grow up too fast and it seems like both of them have experience with women already. unsure of jackie's experience with mark was parental or some hint to her going for authority figures since she and catherine did pick up REALLY fast. there were some other interesting little cues about the psychology of their relationship like catherine reaching over to cut jackie's food, passed off probably bc cath was the one with a knife lol, and bathing jackie but i thought it was all a fun nod to mommy issues. no idea where the porcupine nickname came from tho.

i liked the whole thing about if jackie was special compared to her other students and catherine actually saying she loves her while she was asleep. like the plane thing was thoughtful and something only someone like jackie could do. catherine doesn't have family to visit for christmas so it's probably the same for birthdays but jackie made hers special!

i guess that's the problem. with past students, who she was probably using for company bc she is such a lonely person (even though that other prof is her dad's friend? you'd think he would invite her for holidays) and some kind of thrill, she actually fell for jackie. the spotlight on jackie meant they never could go public with their relationship, and they weren't ever going to be able to bc the power dynamic which jackie didn't seem to understand, hence their fight. it got too serious, especially from catherine's side.

i got some manipulative vibes from her, only supporting jackie going to audition once she heard there were others auditioning for the film so there was a chance that jackie wouldn't get the part. the psychology stuff has a lot to pull from too, psychoanalyzing jackie. but really... not as much manipulation as i was expecting!

i am rly surprised that the situation ruined catherine more than it ruined jackie. i feel like i expected it to be the other way around but catherine got so attached. i feel bad about it lol like she was the one doing something wrong, but it made me really want better for her.

i noticed that jackie seems to have had a journey to independence throughout the film? maybe supposed to be an inverse of catherine breaking down and losing everything? jackie starting at the laundry room fucking up the detergent to ending doing just fine. college helped shape her into a functional adult who can maybe have a better experience with acting going forward. she says that, despite the issues with her mom, she was happy on set! and she wasn't treated very well by her peers at college. and she learned a lot from catherine to use going forward about how to give people the perception of you you want them to have.

she kinda gets to power trip a tad with her fame which is a challenge for catherine i think. catherine is used to being in charge but now jackie is the center of attention and catherine is pushed to the side rather than being her whole world like she's probably used to. she's used to making students feel special with her attention but now jackie is getting attention from literally everyone else and catherine can't be part of that.

i am guessing the paparazzi thing was bc of jackie's fame resurgence or bc that student she fought maybe tipped them off? im also surprised no one at interviews asked her about her relationship with catherine but maybe focus was on film publicity so it had to be positive.

sidenote the scene where catherine came home and jackie's on the couch and she doesn't even explain it to the guy she brought home was so funny. "yeah it's that girl from that tv show" THAT DOESN'T ANSWER WHY SHE'S ON UR COUCH!!!!

the public library sex thing was also wild like girl i know that prof is gonna cover for you as long as there's no evidence but are there no cameras??? i feel like my schools had cameras even in 2010.

the neptune roleplay while fucking catherine was. so much.

idk what was going on with jackie and her mom, like it seemed like someone at the house saw catherine hug jackie outside. and jackie did have a good confrontation with her mom so... her mom offering to set up utilities for her at the end and if she wanted a bigger apartment (maybe so her mom could move in?) was maybe supposed to show her mom trying to step up more than she ever did in the past but idk i didn't get much from it.

idk i wasn't paying a ton of attention honestly. i think jackie should've honestly understood why they couldn't go public more than she was shown to. she even said she'd fucked another girl but she couldn't say who bc it was another tv star. she's no stranger to secrecy bc public perception can ruin lives. and there wasn't even a sexuality concern or anything either from her? she was naive, and i guess that's fine bc she's so young, but i think she should've understood it more so the conflict could feel more earned.

wild that catherine was allowed to continue at the college til the end of the semester but ig there was no proof of anything sexual (discounting the library scene?!?!!) so it was fine??? i didn't rly feel like they ever resolved anything though! i guess she and jackie cooled down and got to say goodbye and end on a good note but some choices just felt random. cool to see her little breakdown in front of the class after everyone realized she was fucking jackie i think? but what are the consequences for her and jackie communicatively? they rly just picked up fine. i expected jackie to return to the school at the end and take stats and ask catherine for the textbook she'd mentioned to show they're going to continue or something?

idk i just don't get the Point. i guess jackie became more independent and catherine got caught but that's... not what i rly felt was necessary for either of them. jackie has always been independent, she needed to have someone to rely on where she couldn't rely on her mom, and catherine is alone and desperate and wants to feel in control and important and i'm rooting for her bc she's so sympathetic so let her have her secret power dynamic over a famous actress. the risks are way increased but you'd think having something secret and special like that would be something to get off to more than wanting to be paraded around.

also kinda rubbed me the wrong way they were both implied to end off with men when... literally bisexuality is fine but the messaging feels odd? the issue is the age gap but they never talked about sexuality as a problem even though it was 2010, but kinda implied it to be through this maybe? or maybe they ended with people closer in age to them so that's the messaging? either way i'm not sure how i feel about any of that.

maybe that theme about not letting people guess and fill in the gaps is something? there started off w all these rumors about catherine but at the end it became clear some of those rumors were right? she had power in the rumor of it but now it's all revealed she's lost that power, vs. jackie having no power but learning to present herself in a self assured clear way and gaining power from that? maybe it's not at all about power which kinda misses why these kinda of relationships are fun j;laldjsfd.

i rly just need to rewatch honestly and i think i'm willing to.