#then today. he liked me on hinge. which threw me off cos he live on the other side of the country now

[rowanhoney]

the universe is testing me rn

[fillogree]

So @ifsomebodyhadsomegarlicbread requested some medical Roman angst, & I wanted to try my hand at it. This fic is simultaneously longer & shorter than I want it to be, I just hope it's okay.

“And that’s a match!”

Roman removed his fencing mask panting softly, sweat slicked his brown curls to his forehead as he flashed a tired smile to his partner. “Nice job, Adrien!”

The blonde grinned and nodded. “Thanks, Roman. You sure you’re okay, though? I’ve never scored against you that many times. Don’t be going easy on me now.”

The brunette laughed and shook his head. “I may be a little sleepy. Practice ran late last night, but I wouldn’t hold back against you, you’re just getting that much better.”

Adrien beamed up at Roman and nodded. “Then you better get plenty of sleep for our next match, I want to face you again in top form!”

Roman laughed and patted his sparring partner on the shoulder. “Consider it done.”

In the locker room however, Roman was a frantic mess. He was scrambling to get his fencing gear put away while firing off a text message to the leader of his theater troupe.

‘omw’ he managed to type, pushing send with his nose as he zipped up his duffle bag.

“Okay, lets see.” Gear packed, phone, wallet, keys—” Roman tugged open his backpack, thumbing through folders and paperclipped sheets. “Script, creative writing assignment, apron.. okay good!” He threw both bags over his shoulder and raced out of the locker room. He darted down the hallway, zigzagging between other students, offering apologies as he ran. He was grateful to have secured a position with a local theater company for work. He had been in two local plays in the past few months and was excited to be rehearsing for another, but between two jobs and university, he was getting a bit tired.

Roman hopped out of his car as he arrived at the studio, ignoring the growling in his stomach. He snatched up his backpack and bolted inside. His current role was that of a watchmaker in the city of Avalon a city filled with gears, cogs and machines. His character Hector was distraught, because his services were required all over town, but he could never sit and work on his cuckoo clocks at home. It was feeling Roman felt all too familiar with.

As Roman ran through his lines with his scene partner, he couldn’t help but notice a pinprick of pressure beginning to form between his eyes. He was probably getting a headache due to not eating all day, and he made a mental note to eat his granola bar he had stashed away on his way to work. He pushed through it even as they pain became a bit more persistent as he ran through his lines with the rest of the troupe. He stumbled over a few lines as the pressure began to build. Thankfully rehearsal was called a bit early and Roman managed to say his goodbyes.

Once in his car Roman couldn’t help but frown at the growing pressure.  He felt a little dizzy but tried hard to push the feeling away as he pulled away from the studio and headed down the road. By the time he pulled up to the café his head was throbbing. The brunette found himself squinting, brow furrowed as he tried to push the pain away. He pulled open his backpack, tied on his work apron and pushed through the door of the café. He instantly regretted it.

The synthpop music that was blaring over the speakers felt entirely too loud, and the overlapping chatter of everyone enjoying their drinks and sweets was near deafening. He shut his eyes tight for a moment but that just pinched the muscles in his face and sharpened the pain. Sighing heavily Roman made his way back behind the counter anyway.  He carefully guided one of his co-workers into the back room, slumping into a chair.

“Taz, please tell me you or Tucker have something for my head.”

The younger male grimaced, sucking air between his teeth as he shook his head, softly. “Tess drove us today and was in a hurry, so we forgot our bags in his car.”

Roman groaned pressing the balls of his palms to his forehead, “There are five of you and none of you carry anything for migraines?”

“Maybe caffeine will help. Your shift doesn’t start for another 10 minutes, so let me make you a latte.”

Roman nodded, waving the younger male off before burying his face back in his hands. He had 6 hours to plow through on register, and then a paper he needed to go home and write. His head continued thudding on, but curiously Roman noticed shaking in his fingers. He pulled his hand from his face, squinting at the light and looked down at his hands, they were trembling now.

His heart began to pound a bit faster. What exactly did this mean?  He went to stand up, but felt his legs trembling too, and quickly sat back down.

“T-T-Taz..” Roman frowned. As he tried to speak it felt as though he had to force the words out, the hard stutter a result of them gripping his tongue and almost refusing to leave his mouth. “I-I think I need t-to go to the h-hospital..”

Taz came back with Roman’s latte to see him in full body muscle spasms his arms and legs shaking and bouncing wildly. “Roman? What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know.. g-get help.”

 Virgil stared at the unknown number blinking across his cell phone's home screen. He didn't like having his music interrupted, particularly by unknown numbers. With a heavy sigh he clicked the answer icon & put the phone on speaker, muting himself quickly. He wasn't in the mood for any telemarketers today.

"Hello, this is Rosa calling from North Community Hospital, may I speak with Virgil Grimments, please?"

Virgil’s eyes widened, and he felt his heartbeat quicken reflexively. He took a deep breath and unmuted the phone. “Speaking.”

“Virgil? As I stated, this is Rosa. We have a Roman Pierce here in the hospital, you were listed as his emergency contact. Can you come in?”

Virgil’s pounding heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach as he nodded, clutching the phone tightly to his ear. “Is he okay? What’s going on?”

“He’s okay, it doesn’t look like anything too serious, but we would like you here at your earliest convenience, to discuss his health.”

Virgil continued nodding despite himself, the butterflies in his stomach flapping their wings wildly. “Yes, yes of course. We’ll be there soon.”

Virgil pocketed his cell phone and all but ripped his door off the hinges, taking the stairs up to the living room two at a time. “Pat! Patton!”

Patton jolted upwards from his position in the couch, pausing the cooking show he was watching. He turned around to see a disheveled Virgil, his eyes wide with worry. “Hey Virgil, what’s wrong?” He asked making his way over to him.

“Ro-Roman’s in the hospital. I dunno what happened. We have to go.”

Patton nodded making his way over to Virgil and cupped his hands. “Okay, we’ll go right now. Deep breaths, okay? Did they say what condition he was in?”

“They said it wasn’t too serious, but they needed me there right away.”

“Okay, okay. So, it’s nothing serious. He’s at the hospital surrounded by people who are qualified to take care of him. So, he’ll be alright, we’ll leave right now, okay? Did you call Logan?”

Virgil shook his head as Patton slowly released his hands, taking deep breaths to calm his rising worry. He watched as Patton grabbed his hoodie, and cell phone before scampering into the kitchen. “You go call Lo and I’ll meet you in the car, okay?”

Virgil nodded, pulling up Logan’s number on his phone as he headed out the front door. Logan answered on the second ring.

“Virgil. Normally you’d be resting at this hour, what is it?”

“Ro’s in the hospital, Lo. They said it’s nothing too serious, but Pat and I are headed up there right now. Can you come?”

Logan looked down at the stacks of paper across his desk. He still had tests to grade, essays to examine, and an entire lesson plan he needed to write up by Monday. Still, the health and safety of his partners came before his job.

“Which hospital?”

Virgil gave a sigh of relief, as he relayed what he was told from Rosa, and gave Logan the address. While Roman was of course the focus, he felt much better about heading into a hospital with the two people who helped calm him down the most. What he wasn’t prepared for was to see someone as infallible as Roman in a hospital bed. He stared at his phone after Logan hung up and sighed softly. The others deserved to know too. With much reluctance he unlocked his phone and pulled up his text messages.

‘Dee. Ro’s in the hospital, tell the others.’  That should be enough, Dietrich could let the others know, and Virgil wouldn’t have to be involved.

‘Which hospital?’

‘No.’

‘FamILY only, huh?’

Virgil sneered at the response, something in the pit of his stomach was coiling in on itself. He didn’t want to talk to his ex-boyfriend any more than he had to. The fact that he and Roman were even talking was.. well, Virgil felt a lot of things about the two of them getting along. He took a few more deep breaths and typed his response.

‘You can come over when we get him home.’

‘Thanks for your permission.’

Virgil pocketed his cell phone fighting back waves of nausea as he made his way to Patton’s car. The sight of the pastel blue Volkswagen helped to lighten his mood. Patton had decorated the car with tons of bumper sticker and his back window was home to several plush kittens. It was hard to be upset in Patton’s car; it was almost a rule. He waited by the passenger’s side door as Patton came rushing outside, clutching a canvas backpack in his arms.

“A change of clothes, a puppy plushie, and some shortbread cookies.” Patton explained as he handed the bag over to Virgil, unlocking the car.

“You think he’ll be there overnight?” Virgil tried to keep the growing concern from creeping into his voice.

“Hopefully not, but it never hurts to be prepared, right? And if he does come home today he’s got everything he needs for a cozy nap.”

Virgil nodded, trying to relax against the seat as Patton drove.

 Logan couldn’t stop tapping his foot as he waited in the lobby. He had arrived at the hospital as quickly as he could, triple checked Roman’s room number, and tried very hard to distract himself by reading over a few articles on his tablet. He tried to tell himself his partner was fine, that he’d see his smiling face in a few minutes, and they’d all go home together. He couldn’t be certain though. He didn’t have all the facts. What he did know was Roman wasn’t being held in the ICU, so his condition wasn’t that bad. He did know the woman who spoke to Virgil said his condition wasn’t serious, and more than anything he was positive Roman had insurance because Logan signed him up for it. With the facts he did have in place there was a very high percentage rate that Roman was fine. However, the bit of him that craved certainty didn’t like to be dwelling on the unknown.

“Logan!”

Logan stood up instantly and felt his worry subside seeing Patton and Virgil approach. Patton threw his arms around him and Virgil gave a soft smile, gently touching his shoulder.

“Which room?”

“413, let’s go.”

Quietly Logan and Patton reached for Virgil’s trembling hands as they walked towards the elevators.

“He’ll be alright.” Logan said softly.

 Virgil stood timidly at the door as Patton lead the way inside and Logan brought up the rear.

“Hey there, handsome. You doing okay?” Patton asked giving Roman’s hand a gentle squeeze. Roman turned his head to look at Patton and gave a small smile.

“A p-prince is always fine.” He croaked.

Patton chuckled, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Roman’s forehead. “Always, huh? So what are you doing in here? Wooing all the nurses?”

“I-I would n-never. N-not when I have s-such amazing boyfriends.” His voice was a low rasp, the stutter only making him sound feebler. Virgil clutched at the front of his jacket just at the sound of him. Logan gave his hand a gentle squeeze, encouraging him to step into the room.

“There they are. T-tall, dark and broody and Ti-85. What are you all doing here?”

“Virgil received a phone call earlier, apparently we need to have a discussion in regard to your health, Roman.”

The usually lively and boisterous male sunk lower into his hospital bed, pulling the blanket up to his nose. “N-noo..” he whined pitifully. I’m fine..”

“Evidently not.” Logan chided, gently as he ushered Virgil inside. “So, care to explain?”

As Roman opened his mouth to protest a nurse stepped into the room. “O-Oh, I wasn’t expecting such a full house.” She laughed softly. “I’m assuming one of you is Virgil?”

Virgil shuffled awkwardly and gave a small wave to the nurse. “That’s me.”

“Oh, good. Do you mind if I speak with you out in the hallway?”

Virgil shook his head as Logan came to stand behind him. “If this is to discuss Roman’s current condition, I would like to be present as well.”

The nurse nodded, ushering the two of them outside. Patton stayed put at Roman’s bedside, humming softly as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You gave all of us quite the scare, you know. Virgil was a mess when he got the phone call.”

Roman glanced away, smiling sadly. “I-I’m  sorry.”

“Mmn.. For what, kiddo?”

The door to the room was opened once again and Virgil pushed his way through looking equal parts irritated and heartbroken. Patton glanced up in confusion to see Logan beckoning him out into the hallway.

“What the hell, Princey?” Virgil fumed once the door was closed. “Are you serious? What’s all this about you not eating? You almost passed out at work? What are you doing?”

Roman flinched and tucked further into the blankets. “I-It was just o-one day..”

Virgil raised an eyebrow giving his boyfriend a hard stare. “Go Ahead and say that again. Look me directly in the eye and tell me this is the first time you’ve been skipping meals or ignoring your headaches. She said your blood sugar was so low it was a wonder you hadn’t fainted yet. How is that possible in just one day, huh?”

Roman pouted refusing to meet Virgil’s heated stare.

With a heavy sigh Virgil knelt at Roman’s bedside and clutched his hands. “Why, Ro? Is something wrong, are you.. Do you need to see Emile?”

“Do I..? N-No. No. V-Virgil I’m not..” Roman swallowed, turning away from him, his bottom lip trembling slightly. “I-I didn’t want you to see me like this.. I just. Between school, and clubs and work I forget to eat sometimes, and it’s usually not a big deal, b-but then today the migraines came a-and it got h-hard to talk, and I was so scared, but.. I didn’t.. I didn’t want to let anyone down.”

“Let us down? Roman, how—”

“You all were s-so proud when I got this acting job, Logan even took off work to see my performances, you fought through your social anxiety for me. B-but I didn’t want to walk out on the café, or any of my clubs when things got too busy, but I-I’m so tired Virgil.. I’m just so tired all the time, but I can’t just quit or give up, so..”

Virgil sighed and gave Roman’s hands a squeeze, pressing his forehead against his.

“Roman, I am proud of you. There’s nothing you could do or not do to make me not be proud of you. You’re.. You’re always so confident and charismatic and you work so hard and you’re talented at so many things, it’s amazing. I admire you for that. But even if you only did one of the things you’re good at, or dropped them all, my feelings wouldn’t change, and neither would any one else’s. Now I’m going to tell you something that’s hard to hear, but you need to learn to put yourself first.”

“I know..” Roman sniffled softly.

“No, you don’t. I know you don’t or else you wouldn’t be here. Roman. You need to put yourself first. If you are tired you take a break. If you haven’t eaten you stop, and you eat. If anyone has anything bad to say about you taking a break or working fewer hours they can answer to Pat. You need to find what your boundaries are, and don’t let others cross them, not even yourself. Give yourself some time, okay?”

“When did you become the therapist?” Roman chuckled, wiping his eyes.

“When you encouraged me to go see one. It really helped, now’s my turn to help you. Take care of yourself.”

“Well spoken, Virgil.” Logan said from the doorway. The two jumped as Logan and Patton returned. Patton’s arms were crossed but there was concerned softness in his eyes.

“I’m packing you more snacks, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me, got it?”

“I will help you come up with a suitable schedule, so you don’t run into this issue again.”

“And I’ll text Remus your every location to check up on you in the most embarrassing way possible if you don’t listen.”

“We’re here for you Roman, you don’t have to do it all on your own anymore.”

Roman nodded and gave a soft smile. “I love you guys, thank you.”

[thatkidwhodreams]

The Lie

Chapter One

Masterlist

Prologue

Warning: Smut, playful insults

*Three Years Later*

You and Shawn have been together for three years and today just so happened to be your anniversary. It felt like yesterday Shawn asked you to be his girlfriend, he just walked right up to you whilst you were in the library doing a little homework (mostly procrastinating) and he started saying the most random things about you. You can’t lie it did scare you a little but then he sang you one of your favourite songs and you died right there.

You were planning to do something special for your man and that included getting a new set of lingerie. You headed into Victoria’s Secret with your best friend Sofia as she thought you needed some quality ‘best friend’ time. You looked through the plethoras of underwear and undergarments until you found the one you knew would blow Shawn’s mind.

Sofia insisted that she inspects what you pick for your big night. She was VERY picky might you add so it took awhile for her to be satisfied although she wasn’t the only one who was going to be satisfied today *wink* *wink*. Once you’d picked out your new set for tonight you paid for it and then headed out of the store. Victoria’s Secret would finally be out tonight.

Shawn was at work well, that was what he said so you and Sofia had more time to yourselves. You decided on a few tv shows and frozen pizza you might as well eat up before the exercise later. Shadowhunters was currently on and you and Sofia were lowkey hitting on Alec Lightwood.

“He’s so handsome, it’s too bad he’s gay we would’ve made a cute couple.” You spoke dreamily

Sofia threw a pillow at you

“Ow WHAT THE HELL!” You screamed a little dramatically.

“YOU HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND STOP HITTING ON ALEC AND LEAVE SOME ROOM FOR THE SINGLETONS!”

“SORRY” You replied sarcastically. “ I didn’t realise that I wasn’t allowed to like fictional characters.”

The discussion went on for hours from Stiles Stilinski in Teen Wolf to Jeff Atkins from 13 Reasons Why and how he was an adorable soul who deserved better.

“Let’s prank call Shawn” Sofia blurted out in sudden excitement.

“OMG YESSS GO AND GET THE BRICK PHONE THAT NOBODY USES!”

Sofia ran to the corner and picked up the Nokia 216. You took the phone off her and dialed Shawn’s number. It picked up on the second ring.

“Hello?” A voice spoke from the other side.

You put on your best feminine voice higher than your usual one and spoke.

“Local sperm bank you jack it we pack it. Is this Shawn?”

“Erm….I think you might have the wrong number?”

“No, this is Mr Shawn Mendes right?”

Sofia was giggling in the background and you muttered a quick “shh”

You spoke again “Am I right?”

“Okay ma’am I think you might be confu-“ Shawn replied but you cut him off.

“You are the sperm donor right?”

“Erm…….” Then the line cut off. You and Sofia burst out laughing.

“What happened?”

“He hung up” you spoke as tears were in your eyes. “He was so confused.”

“Haaaaaaaa” Sofia’s mouth was wide open as she too was dying from this prank.

After a while you calmed down and had a sudden idea to get drunk for no reason after all it was still your anniversary.

Suddenly you heard the door open and a voice scream “I’m home.” It was a voice you knew oh so well.

“Sorry Sofie but bae is back!” You said rising from your current position. “Your presence is no longer required.”

“Hey! We were gonna get druuuuuunk!”

“Not today sis.”

“Before you go lemme just tell you, the craziest thing happened today.”

You and Sofia looked at each other.

“What happened?” You asked

“Some lady called me on an unknown number asking if I was a sperm donor for the local sperm bank. I don’t recall being a sperm donor.”

You and Sofia burst out laughing again.

“OH LORD!”

“IT’S NOT FUNNY BABE I WAS TRAUMATISED!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” You walked up to him and kissed him.

“Mmmhhhhmmm it’s okay I’m feeling a little better anyway.”

“Oh yeah? The only sperm you’re going to be donating is in here.” You guided his hands to your private area.

“Erm….I think I’ll take this as my que to leave.” Sofia said awkwardly

“Wait, nooooo don’t go.”

“I’M LEAVING NOOOOW. BYEEEE ENJOY YOUR STEAMY MAKEOUT SESSION WITH MORE TO COME LITERALLY MORE TO CO-!”

“OKAY YOU CAN GO NOW!”

Both of your eyes followed her as she headed into her car and drove off.

“Wow she is a handful.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Heeeeey what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You and her are like twins. Seriously, you’re like a Jack-in-the-box popping out at random times and giving people the craziest shock of their lives.”

You gasped and folded you arms with a slight pout on your face. “That was mean!”

“I’m sorry baby hey I got you something.” Shawn pulled out a rectangular box. You looked over at it and still pouted in the corner.

Shawn sighed “Please forgive me babe.”

“NO!”

“Okay but you’re still gonna see what I got you, it just might change your mind.” Shawn opened the box and your eyes narrowed to take a little glance at it, you were trying to be as discreet as possible. He opened the box and it revealed a necklace with Shawn’s initials on it.

“You’re full of yourself aren’t you?”

Shawn chuckled “No babe it’s a reminder and a sign that I’m yours. You have one with my initials and I have one of yours.” He pulled out a necklace which laid on his chest that was hidden in his shirt and on it were your initials nicely engraved. You couldn’t hold your grudge any longer so your walls broke right there.

“Awwwww Shawn that’s so sweet. I LOVE IT!”

“Oh I nearly forgot your surprise is upstairs. I’m just gonna go upstairs and get it. Close your eyes NO PEEKING!”

“Okay babe.” Shawn said as he smiled at his beautiful girlfriend and soon to be wife who just so happened to be you.

You headed upstairs and got undressed to put on the lingerie that Sofia helped you pick out. Then you headed a call from downstairs.

“Princess, are you nearly ready. I’ve been waiting for ages!”

You rolled your eyes even though you knew he couldn’t see you do it. “Oh shut up! Your eyes have only been closed for three minutes!”

You heard him groan and sigh but you ignored him and carried on. Once you were done you looked at yourself in the full length mirror and adjusted a few things. You walked out of the room and stayed at the top of the stairs.

“Okay, you can look now.”

Shawn opens his eyes and his mouth was wide open.

“Babe……”

You didn’t know what was up but you began to feel a little self conscious. So you hid yourself a little.

“Do you not like it?”

“What! No babe I love it. You look so sexy right now.” Shawn groaned.

“Reeaalllyy?”

“Yes, ugh. I can’t even.”

You didn’t know what had gotten into you, but all of a sudden your pride came back and you walked back into your bedroom knowing Shawn would look like a lost puppy and follow you.

“Hey! Babe, wait up.”

You giggled and sat on the bed cross legged and three seconds later Shawn burst in the room panting a bit. All the man did was run up the bloody stairs. It was only fifteen goddamn steps!

“So….this is my anniversary present right?”

You rolled your eyes so hard you thought it might’ve stayed there.

“What do you think?!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Shawn apologised.

You and Shawn has a playful relationship you’d just insult each other for no particular reason and pretend to be upset. But it all ended in kisses and cuddles later on.

You and Shawn just stared at each other like two pups in love until Shawn leaned forward and before you knew it your lips were moulded into each other. You leaned back into the bed leaving Shawn on top of you. Shawn broke the kiss taking his shirt off, your eyes seeing nothing else but his abs. Shawn continued to kiss you and leave a trail of kisses on your collarbone and down to your stomach.

“Babe, it’s not fair that I’m the only one taking something off.” Shawn said as he was about to tear your new bra off.

“Hey! Don’t tear it this is brand new okay. Be gentle.”

“Calm your tits! I’ll buy you another one.” And just like that he tore your bra open and you groaned in pleasure and annoyance. He muttered a quick “sorry” and continued his assault on your breasts.

You guided his hands down to your panties and bucked your hips into his hands.

“Shawwwnnnn!” You cried as he started taking your panties off in a more civilised way than he did to your bra.

You ran your fingers through his chocolate curls as he started pumping into you with his fingers.

“Gosh baby, you’re so wet.”

“What do you expect with you doing me like this?” You chuckled.

Shawn started laughing “Hush child.”

“CHILD?! I’m only two months younger than you!”

“Shhh” He said placing a finger on your lips. With his other hand he continued to pump into you and you moaned. He added another finger and began going a little faster, you were sure to break right there. Then he stopped.

“Heyyyyy!” You exclaimed and you hit his chest. He just kissed your cheek.

“Yup you’re ready for me now.”

“Ready for what? That tiny twig there? What’s its name again I think it was Frank or something.”

Shawn looked hurt but he knew you were playing around so he gasped in a fake manner. “Take that back!”

“Why should I take back the truth?”

“Because we know you want us and if you don’t take it back we won’t satisfy you.” He said getting up off the bed and walking out of the room.

“Wait you can’t leave me like this! Okay, okay I’m sorry! Come back! I need you!”

Shawn came back a few seconds later as he was hiding behind the hinges of the door. He didn’t really leave he was just waiting for an apology and if he didn’t get one he was planning on getting himself off.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“Ugh I’m sorry, now please help me out. I know you need this as much as I do.”

You showed him your puppy dog eyes knowing that he couldn’t say no to you and just like that you had him wrapped around your little finger again.

He got back on the bed and finished what he was doing before and you sure as hell came.

He then started taking off his Calvin Klein boxers that he recently bought and modelled for you a few times. Now his ‘little’ friend was fully out.

“Are you okay? Is this ‘tiny twig’ too much for you to handle?” Shawn asked cockily (pun intended).

You scoffed “Pshh no of course not now hurry please.”

Shawn slowly slid himself into you and you moaned. He went a little slow at first, giving you enough time to adjust to him and he wrapped his mouth around your right nipple and started tweaking the other. Shortly, he switched and moved onto the other one causing you to let out a short groan which seemed to be contagious as Shawn groaned too. He began rolling his hips faster hitting a certain spot inside you making you scream and he shut his eyes harder which was a sign that he was about to come.

“I’m so close Shawn.”

“Me too baby.” He groaned. A few more thrusts later you both hit your highs and came together.

Shawn rolled off you and the two of you started panting like there was no tomorrow.

“So much for a tiny twig huh?” Shawn said sarcastically as he was holding you like a fragile being.

“Shut up!”

“Ha, I’m kidding. I love you so much babe happy anniversary.” Shawn kissed your cheek, nose then lips.

“I know right I’m amazing.” Shawn pinches your sides.

“Okay, okay I love you too honey happy anniversary I hope you enjoyed my little present.”

“I loved it!” And the both of you snuggled the whole night until you drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Two

A/N: This is my first time writing smut It’s pretty bad I know but I’ll get better at it. I’m not gonna lie but this is totally me if I was to ever be with Shawn. Feedback is always appreciated, I don’t bite.  ❤️

[not-the-very-button]

I’m stressed and today has been weird and I wanna tell you about my spider buddy. 

Spider Buddy is a spider who lives in my bathroom and who I have an arrangement with. See, we started having an ant problem in the house -- particularly in the bathrooms. Every time I went to take a shower I would spend 5 to 10 minutes smushing ants and peering wildly around the room shouting, “WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM?? I LIVE ON THE SECOND FLOOR!”

Enter, Spider Buddy. I saw him weaving a web along my baseboards one day and decided he could stay, provided he took care of the ant problem. Ever since Spider Buddy moved in, I haven’t witnessed a single ant emerging from my drain. For real though, these fuckers had been crawling through my plumbing and emerging like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption. But Spider Buddy took care of that right away!

And since that time we’ve formed a strange sort of bond. Sometimes I talk to him when I’m peeing. Sometimes I throw little balls of wadded toilet paper into his web and watch him zoom over to them, only to get all pissy when he realizes it’s not a snack and I’m just being an asshole. Then he plucks them out of his web and they fall to the floor with the other tiny balls of toilet paper I’ve sent his way. I imagine if he had a way to throw them back at me he absolutely would. Maybe he’s stock piling them for that precise purpose.

But, we co-exist. Spider Buddy does good and I conveniently ignore his web when I sweep. 

But, when Spider Buddy established the bathroom as prime ant territory and a hospitable neighborhood, he invited OTHER Spider’s to move in down the street, in the corner by the tub, by the door hinge, etc, etc. And frankly I don’t need more than a single spider to control the ant situation. Spider Buddy Original has been doing a fine job of that all on his own. Sweeping around multiple webs is a little tedious and I haven’t formed a bond with these new creatures. They’re neighbors I don’t know and don’t particularly care to meet. That said, I can’t bring myself to evict them. They’re friends of Spider Buddy’s after all. So I let them stay too and my little symbiotic community grows.

(Unshockingly, I was one of those kids who felt so guilty leaving a single stuffed animal off my bed as a child that I would pile all of them around me like a toddler possessed. Imagine that scene from ET where he dresses like a grandmother and hides in Elliot’s closet among the toys, but like 5 year old me drowning in stuffed animals while I sleep. Honestly, it’s a miracle I wasn’t smothered.)

For a while, I’d started to wonder... how long would Spider Buddy’s lifespan be? I didn’t know what kind of spider he was. I’d watched him grow bigger over the weeks we’d shared the bathroom and I worried the day would come when Spider Buddy wouldn’t scramble to my toilet paper projectiles in anticipation of a snack anymore. 

Today that day came. I didn’t realize it at first. There he was, Spider Buddy in his web. I threw some toilet paper and he paused for a moment before sprinting toward it and assessing the damage. That’s when I saw it. Behind Spider Buddy. The crumpled body of another spider stuck in the web. I looked back at the spider currently plucking at toilet paper and realized. It wasn’t Spider Buddy after all. I could tell. He had longer legs and his back was wider. It was one of Spider Buddy’s friends, which meant -- the body.

I don’t know if there was foul play involved here. I’m not a Spider Forensics Expert. But I do know Spider Buddy has passed on to the great toilet paper web in the sky. I will try my hardest to accept this knew exterminator in my life, but it will never be the same. I can never replace My Spider Buddy. My Spider. My Buddy. My Pal. 

Rest in pieces you magnificent beast.