#then there's a bit i don't know how to translate to english

[therealsaintscully]

Thank you for the tag, lovely @crepesuzette2023! It's been nice to take some time to think about my fics!

How many works do you have on ao3?

20; 18 are Johnlock (BBC) and two, the most recent ones, are mclennon.

What’s your total word count?

306,378 (I was stunned to see this, I had no idea).

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

All are Johnlock: Mark Your Calendars, my beloved Erosion, Detours, Plus One and Turned - Part I : Queen and Country.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I try to be very good about it and respond as often as I can, but the truth is I'm a bit of an emotional wreck so when there's a rush of comments I get overwhelmed and over emotional about them, and tend to put it off for a while. I read them ALL, and I often go back and re-read them.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I had to refresh my memory but it's def Every Other Universe ("What if in every other universe John Watson leaves?"). It's one of my very earliest ones and I cringe a little reading it, but it's a very neat idea. Gretna Green Waltz, a mclennon fic, is very devastating if I may say so myself, and was written as such knowingly. It only reflects reality, though, and that's just as devastating.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think Mark Your Calendars has the happiest ending, judging by the numbers of kudos, but for me as the writer, the cosiest, most joy-bringing ending was that of Simon (or: Love Calls You by Your Name).

Do you write crossovers?

The sadly abandoned Turned series is a crossover with Homeland.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate, but some less-than-considerate "when's the next chapter???" comments. I don't bother with them.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do :)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I remember being asked, but I'm not sure what happened with it! Some of my fics got podficced, though: Mark Your Calendars is available as podfic, and so is I Have not Lingered (thanks to the lovely @helloliriels)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm so neurotic and particular I don't think I'm cut out for that.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Mulder and Scully are DEFINITELY the mothership and always will be. I still sigh about them in a special, exasperated way about three times a week. I'm still here with Johnlock of course, but I'm pretty sure mclennon has been in the back of my mind for decades, but I was too haunted by other ships to fall down that rabbit hole. Look at me, though, here I am.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Turned, very sadly. So much so that I've considered taking it off AO3 but I'm so proud of what I did achieve with it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think my best writing moments are the ones that hook unto my real, personal experiences, not just a general idea of life situations. Erosion is based on my own personal grief and family losses, and Gretna Green Waltz is a retelling of my biggest heartache. I have noticed readers can tell when you're really putting your heart into a story.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English isn't my first language, which means I have to rely on betas which for me sadly slows me down - I want to be able to just write them and post them otherwise I overthink. I'm also a screenwriter irl, and I noticed a pattern that is another weakness - I always have banger openings, or first acts to my stories/screenplays, but sometimes I don't know the ending and I get lost and hesitant. That's why Gretna Green Waltz was SUCH a surprise - much like Junk, the song that haunts Paul throughout the fic, came to him in one piece, GGW landed in my head as a full story. I wrote it in TWO WEEKS! That NEVER happened before!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It really depends on how it's done. If it's 2-3 sentences and they're simple I assume the readers will Google Translate it. Jinglebell stands out as someone who did it really well in multi-chapter fic that's all about Sherlock discovering that John is a polyglot, so it can be done well.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Johnlock (for which I started writing during covid in 2020), although as a reader it was TXF, back in in 90s and early 2000s.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

The X-Files. I've had a Scully character study in my head for years that I just can't get right.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

With Johnlock it would have to be the now-abandoned Turned, and mclennon it would be Gretna Green Waltz. I am very proud of both.

Tagging @menlove, @discordantwords, @saint-mona, @totallysilvergirl @m1ssunderstanding @slippinmickeys @kettykika78 @agrlsname @arwamachine @calaisreno @aggressivewhenstartled and anyone who sees this who wants to participate :)

[gloomuri671]

Entry #??

Sae Itoshi x Reader

A/N: I got this entry from my order brother. He found it and went through the trouble of translating it to English for us. Everyone say, "Thank you, Idy." Now I owe him those nine hundred gems... Haha 🥲

Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter

Entry #??

I'm an asshole.

I've always know that, people tell me all the time. Not her, though. Y/n L/n, my best friend, has never once thought me in such a bad light. Which is why I'm an asshole. Because I dream of her. I crave her.

"A man could offer me millions of diamonds, but all I'd care about are the ones watching me right now. Looking at me with a hunger I'd only ever fantasize about. Such precious jewels and right now they're all mine," she mumbled in a daze. Her pussy grinding on mine. Oh my fucking.... "All yours," I whispered to her, desperately holding back a whimper. "Oh my god," she gasped. Was she not supposed to say that out loud? Adorable. "All fuching yours," I said again, planting kisses on her neck. These fucking clothes are in my way. Would she be mad if I ripped them off? "Always been," I whispered in her ear, grinding us closer together. Can't I just stay here forever?

"Another dream," I mumbled. Ah, yes, my little secret. I fantasize about my best friend. A guilty pleasure and why I'm an asshole. Because while she's unaware and sleeping peacefully at night, I'm stroking myself to the thought of her. Edging myself to the thought that maybe she'd use her hand like this: slow, with a rhythm she hums to herself so innocently. That same hum she makes up when she's concentrating on something so intently. Or maybe she'd have mercy on me and speed up a bit. Her hands are smaller than mine, but I know they would feel so much better wrapped around me. I see her under me, her nails scratching at my back. Those same nails she got done recently with Margret. I can almost feel it.

Only this time, the dream almost felt.. real? I haven't heard her openly compliment my eyes since we met. But it was so refreshing to hear. Something screams in me, wanting me believe it wasn't a dream. Oh Lord have mercy on me. "Fuck," I muttered. "How stupid can I be?"

Lately, Y/n's been weird. She's always been weird, but today she's weirder than usual - her and those two idiots. I cornered Jordan during soccer practice to hopefully get some answers. If something's wrong with her, why didn't she tell me? "What the hell is going on with Y/n?" I asked bluntly. He visibly got nervous, it makes me realize he hasn't been so nervous around me anymore until now. Was that her doing? "U-umm I don't know what your talking about, dude," he said, "Y/n's been the same old N/n since she was a tot."

Was he seriously trying to lie to my face? "Tell me," I demanded. "Look, babe," he sighed, "Your girl is probably on her period. Give her some space would you? She'll come around when she's ready." I quirked a brow at that. Does he think I'm stupid? I'm not stupid. Was he really trying to blame this on her menstrual cycle? "No she's not," I told him, "I have her cycle on on my phone. She doesn't get them until two weeks from now." His once nonchalant facade faded ever so slowly.

"Even if she was, she wouldn't have ghosted me this weekend," I said. It's true. Y/n comes through my door whenever her period starts. It's one of the reasons I'm paying forty dollars a year on "Flo" to keep track of her cycle. Because, Lord knows, that girl will raid my fridge for my ice cream and will claim all my hoodies. She'd never know I only stock up on ice cream three days before in advance for her. Another secret that will never come to light.

Jordan continued to avoid me question, but now it was clear. Something is going on with my Y/n...and it might have something to do with me. "Did I do something wrong last Friday?" I interrogated. "More like something right," he muttered, but I caught it. "Something right?" I wondered. He panicked and looked around. "Look, Sae," he sighed, "Nothing's wrong. She's just stuck in her head at the moment. Got something on her mind. You know how much of an air head N/n can be." I just turned around and went to the benches. I relaxed a bit knowing I didn't fuck up somewhere between drink number one and Saturday morning.

When I sat down, two hands gently started massaging my shoulders. My eyes widened, but relaxed when she started speaking. "You did great out there," Y/n said, "Like always of course." Something's changed. She's never done this before. I could here some of those lukewarm atheletes hollering and cheering for me in the back. I couldn't careless. "I know," I said, "I've got something to tell you later. Come over tomorrow?"

"Sure, but why tomorrow? Can't I come over today?" She wondered. Of course you could. That's why I gave you a key in the first place. "I've got to do laundry today," I told her. Her grip slightly tightened on my shoulders making me sigh. "Oh," she muttered.

I groaned when she hit a certain spot, such dangerous hands. How could such an innocent woman have such dangerous hands? She kept on for a while, the team huddled on the other side, then she let up. "Thought you might've needed that," Y/n explained. You have no idea. "It was good," I said. She smiled at me then my vision flashed.

She cradled my face with one hand while sat on my lap. She smiled at me. "There's those pretty eyes," she whispered, "So handsome." ... Fucking hell. I almost came right then and there.

My eyes widened and I cough into my jersey. "You okay?" Y/n asked me, "You're being weird today." So are you, I wanted to say, but I held back. "Nothing, I'm just remembered something," I explained. She looked at me weirdly and nodded slowly. What's going on in that beautiful mind?

On the way home, I noticed Jordan following me. "Your house is the other way," I reminded. He caught up a and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I want to hang out with my friend," he said. Is he serious? I side-eyed him before saying, "I'm not interested." Jordan let out an offensive gasp before slapping my shoulder. "So am I," he said, "I'm gay, but not for you, babe. I'm just here to hang out with you because sugar tits is worried about you." I raised an eyebrow at that. Worried about me?

As soon as I open the door, Jordan makes a dash for my bathroom. I clicked my tongue and made a dash for the room too. I take the laundry basket from his hands before he could even attempt to make it for the washing machine. "Fess up, Lujan," I commanded, "Why do want to wash my clothes cause I swear it's because of Margaret-"

"What?! Ew no!"

"Then Y/n?"

"Well-"

"Fess up," I commanded, "Or else I'm telling Y/n about that little Japanese boy you've been texting." He paled at that before trying to come up with words to say after that. "Umm.. You... She... Ummm... Why didn't she choose Margaret!? UGH! Just look in the basket!" He let up. Well that wasn't so hard. It's not like the girls don't already know about the Japanese boy. If they weren't already set on sports then they would've been good FBI agents.

I open up the hamper and search through the clothes until my hand felt... Damp... Slowly I look at the trousers I held in my hands... Oh boy... "We-"

"Yep... Last Friday actually."

All I know is we definitely have to talk.

Idia: I'm never doing this again. Do you know the type of stuff he writes when it comes to her? I would've thought it was a soccer journal if not for the... Other stuff.

Me: Well I need the other stuff. Plz?

Idia: No.

Me:Everyone say "Thank you, Idy!" If you want another Entry from Sae!

Idia:I never agreed-

Me: Please?

Idia:... Fine.

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c33. Liquid dinner.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE END, LOVE YOU!!

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, EDs and death.

song to listen to when reading this: Like it tends to do, Lizzy McAlpine

abstract: This is a very sad chapter honestly. Close to the end also, don't get your hopes up cause I'm telling you, it's not ending well. I should know, I'm from the literal future. So yeah, messed up things. Jude's a liar man, I've always told ya. She might seem all confident, smart, sexy, funny… whatever...

'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. It was three in the afternoon, the day after her chat with Simon. She was at the listening post, they had lunch together, her, Roman and Honey after working at the code all morning. She had to reveal she had a look at it the night before, they argued for the first ten minutes asking why she got to see it before the others. 'It's because I'm privileged, let it go.' She admitted, a small smirk on her lips. 'No seriously, why didn't we know you had it, how did you get it?' Honey asked. She bit her lip, thinking of what to say to make the matter sound somewhat legal. 'You know the guy with the mask?' She said.

'Yes, unfortunately I have seen him.' Honey.

'Scary dude, what about him?' Roman.

She crossed her arms in front of her. She was wearing a comfy sweater under her very elegant blazer jacket. 'He gave it to me yesterday.' She explained. 'We worked together before, we're friends.' She said. All true, no? They're friends.

Honey mumbled something under his breath. 'That's not fair!' argued Roman, he went on some more saying how unfair it was she could see evidence before them just because she was friends with that scary soldier. They resumed their tasks, trying their best at cracking the code. It took longer than anticipated. They removed all the letters from the paper and examined the back, what would have been at the back of the newspaper page. They moved them around in the large table that once was Roman's desk, trying to make out a message. After lunch, she felt tired, she wanted and deserved a nap. Her contact lenses burned her eyes, plastic wrappers and boxes of Chinese takeout were scattered all over the place. Roman was yawning from his side of the room. That was when Honey figured it out. 'I fucking hate you so much'.

She spun in her chair, covering her face with her hands, while Honey giggled from his seat. She approached his desk. 'I found it I think', he said. 'I divided the letters in diagonal like this…' He drew a line with his finger and parted two sections of the original code. 'And I switched them…' She helped him move the letters, until she started to see it too. Words were starting to form. They found a pattern in the setting of the letters, which resembled the choice of cutting capital letters and lowercase letters. They found some of the words were already in English, some needed translation. They were written in English letters, but were Serbian words. 'Novo…' she mumbled while setting the four letters aside. It meant 'New'. It was Roman who was sent to call Price this time. He ran through the corridors of the base, saying sorry to every person he bumped into while trying to get to Price's office.

Unfortunately for him, he found Ghost first. 'Oi!' He called out, making Roman stop in his tracks and turn around. 'You in a rush?' He asked, taking a few steps in his direction. The young linguist looked up at Ghost, his eyes piercing through his soul through the skull plate mask. He mumbled something about the listening post, which clearly interested Ghost in the conversation. Listening post meant Alba. 'We need Price, we figured it out. The code, you know...' He was able to breathe out while regaining his composure. 'She with you?' The other man asked, before starting to walk towards Price's office. 'What…' Roman struggled to follow Ghost's fast walking pace, 'Oh Jude? Yeah, why?' He was given no answer. They both urged Price to follow them and, once in the listening post room, they found Honey and Alba at the desk, hunched over looking at the characters scattered around.

'It makes total fucking sense!' Alba shouted at the door, before awkwardly covering her mouth with her hands, realising Price and Simon were there. Roman let out a loud laugh, joining his two colleagues, even Honey seemed happy and joyful more than Simon ever saw him. He watched Alba smile at her friends, moving one more letter on the table, writing the message on paper. 'S… T, E and R…' Honey whispered. Once they were done, Price and Ghost were allowed to look at it and read it. Alba's eyes encountered Ghost's. Just for a second. She was happy, she was proud. She was gorgeous, he liked how the blazer jacket fell gently on her hips, he liked the strands of hair that were covering the sides of her cheeks, rosy cheeks. He liked the fuzzy sweater she was wearing, a warm beige sweater. He could touch it, feeling the softness.

The message made, indeed, total fucking sense. It said Novo Groblje, which meant new cemetery, it said 'twenty one, one, two two three', which they supposed meant 21st of January of that year. Novo Groblje was a cemetery complex in Belgrade. She stood by the table while Price and Simon examined their work. She patiently waited for them to read the message and ensure they were satisfied with what they saw. It was Simon's look that gave it away. His eyes, his gaze immediately rose to meet hers, he looked at her with dilated pupils, his kind, chocolate brown eyes. He was amused. Price told them they did a good job and to keep up with the listening post for a few more days, just in case they needed any more information about the trafficking, but other than that, they were done.

She went out that night. She put on a dress for the first time in ages. There weren't many bars open too late, Honey suggested drinks to celebrate, Roman said yes, Gaz overheard and took it as the best opportunity to ask her to go out with them. She said yes, she went home and went on a run with Jinx. She was so happy she could't even manage to sit still. She was ecstatic, she had a drink before going out, she had gin hidden somewhere in her kitchen. She wore a dress, just below the knee, it was cold out. It was tight around the waist but fell gently on her hips. Black lace adorned her ribcage, a pattern that looked like flowers on the skin of her breasts. She curled her hair, she put on earrings that looked like pearly rain drops. She wore heels, and got a cab, she didn't want to drive. She intentionally arrived twenty minutes late, she found Roman and Honey at a table in the corner, they were drinking beer. Kyle and Soap were at the counter speaking to a man she didn't know. Kyle whistled when he saw her walking in. 'Look who finally decided to stop working…' He gave her a quick side hug, which she reciprocated, then said hi to Soap. 'What are you drinking?' She let Kyle buy her a beer, she didn't bother choosing, whatever he was having was fine. She noticed his eyes travelling on her figure as she leaned on the counter, she allowed it. They sat for an hour at the table with her two other colleagues, she dragged the soldiers towards Honey and Roman so they could be all together. The conversation was simple and easy, anecdotes and funny stories. She was hiding a yawn with her hand and debating on going home when Johnny gasped. 'Look who showed up…' He whispered, causing her to turn around in the booth, looking towards the entrance of the bar. At eleven in the evening on a Saturday, Simon Riley made his way inside the bar, a crowded bar even. Black mask, leather jacket and, something she had never seen before on him, sneakers. He looked in their direction, a nod of the head to signal that he saw them. He approached the counter to order a drink. Alba got up a minute after, trying not to make it seem too obvious. She said she was gonna get another beer, she asked the boys to watch her purse.

Her heart started beating at a much quicker pace upon seeing him. Did the others invite him, was he there by himself? Maybe he didn't want to be bothered. Was he there to see his friends? She approached him, walked behind him and stood at his right. He turned towards her, his eyes not even reaching her face, slowly making their way up from her naked calves to her chest. 'I wasn't expecting you to come', she crossed her arms in front of her chest, forcing him to look her in the eyes. 'I can leave if you don't want me here.' He replied, to that she smiled. 'Can I buy you a drink?' She offered, making his heart skip a beat. 'To thank you for stealing classified evidence for me.' She said. He allowed himself to stare at her for a few more seconds before replying. Her hair was wavy, falling gently on her shoulders, her makeup shiny on her eyelids. She had some kind of eyeliner on that made the emerald green colour of her pupils stand out. Her cheeks were warm from the alcohol. 'How many have you had?' He asked. He realised he was flirting without even trying, he felt like he was giving in this kind of sin. She was the sin. He felt like the setting, the bar, the fact they were surrounded by strangers, dressed differently from their day to day… It made him feel like he could speak to her that way. 'Just one!' She sat on the stool behind her, reaching his eye level. 'Do I look drunk?' He smiled and shook his head. While he ordered their drinks, she gave their friend's table a look, finding Soap and Kyle staring. 'You guys celebrating?' She concentrated back on Simon. 'I told you Honey would figure it out.' She replied. He didn't have a balaclava on, he had a black surgical mask and the hat she gifted him for Christmas. He partly took off the mask, letting it hang on his right ear, so that his uncovered side faced the wall. She watched him take a sip of his drink.

'They know you're Alba' He said. She nearly choked on her beer.

'I told them you're Alba… by accident.' He corrected himself, like he needed to get that off his chest. She went pale under the lights of the bar.

'What…'

'I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I let it slip. Johnny and Gaz...' He looked at her, suddenly apologetic, like a lost puppy. She swallowed a lump in her throat, her blood rushing to her ears. What a way to ruin the night. 'It's fine.' She managed to mumble.

She was still recovering from that information when he spoke again. 'How are… hum.. how are rehearsals going?' He tried to change the subject to make her forget about his terrible revelation. She looked at him appalled, her eyes wide. 'Uhm… good.' She replied awkwardly. He was terrified his attempt to change the subject didn't work. His expression made her giggle, that awful silence between them made her facade crumble. 'Sorry, I'm gonna have to stop speaking to you, you're terrible at keeping secrets', she commented. He seemed to relax, his shoulders less tense. He was really afraid he'd upset her for a moment.

'That's not true…'

'Ah, you told everyone my one secret...' She was smiling at this point, dimples forming in her cheeks. Her left canine teeth was chipped. He drank some more. 'So… rehearsals?' He asked again. Her chest tightened, he really wanted to know? 'It's been hard, there's this one lift which is pretty intense with my dance partner', she fidgeted with a napkin on the wooden counter�� 'But the hard part is Snow Queen really, there are 16 fuettés at the end of my first entrance which I can't seem to get right, cause I jump a lot during that part and I get tired, I don't think my left foot is strong enough for those many turns, you know, 16 fuettés is kind of a lot…' she rambled, maybe talking more to herself than to him at this point. But he was there, and you best believe he was listening. 'And then I can kinda relax in the second entrance, but still I got very embarrassed the other day cause I could only get five or six before getting dizzy…' she seemed to suddenly realise he was there. She covered her mouth with her hand, almost self conscious she might have said too much.

'What is a fuetté….' asked Simon.

She smiled, she giggled. 'Sorry… it's a turn on pointe, you turn and then you open your leg to spin again, and again…'

'16 times?'

'16 times, yes.'

'Sounds like a lot. Can't you do less?'

Her smile grew bigger, she felt giddy talking about her dance routine with him. 'That's the choreography…' He nodded. 'Are you getting deployed to Serbia?' She asked, her tone soft, he almost didn't ear her over the music and the noise of chatter in the bar. He shook his head. He explained they had soldiers there already and him and his task force were getting ready for another mission, they were going to get briefed the day after. 'Maybe they'll call you for this one as well… help us out.'

'You finally admit I was helpful then', her pure, proud, cheeky expression made him smile a bit.

'I never said you didn't help us numerous times.'

'What's the mission?' She asked. He said he didn't know yet. They heard a whistle coming from the table where their colleagues were sitting. It was Kyle urging them to go sit with them.

'I made it pretty obvious I left them there to come talk to you…'

He felt like the people around them disappeared, the noise, the smell of booze. She sat beside him or rather in front of him, her heels propped up on the stool, her lacy dress flowing, she looked like a lily, the flower. It could not be real, he couldn't even remember the last time he felt like that, drawn to someone, wanting to get close, touch her arm, feel her skin against his own. And be touched, and be hugged by her, he wanted her attention, he wanted her to look at him, acknowledge him at all times, he was special to her and he deserved her special treatment. He got chosen, over all the others, she just said it, there it was on paper. He didn't imagine it. 'You wanted to talk to me?' He asked, a breath. She leaned into the counter, she heard him cause she was closer. She nodded. 'Why?' He asked.

She smiled. Without putting on a show, she let her hand travel on the counter, until the tip or her pointy acrylic nail poked his finger, wrapped around the beer glass. 'Is it so strange that I want to?' It's not? Did she see past it? The mask, his appearance, the scars, the trauma, his attitude? Or was he never really Ghost when he was around her? Of course he was, she was just so strong and clever to just… see Simon as well. 'I'm not really…', he tried. He didn't push away her hand, his fingers slowly intertwining with hers. Her hands were cold.

'I don't really do this? I don't know when was the last time I actually… you know…', he didn't need to finish, she nodded. She didn't look pitiful. 'Do you want me to tell you why?' She murmured. He didn't really think she had a reason. When he nodded, she started to speak. She looked down at their hands, her fingers brushing his, not really holding his hand, rather exploring the patterns in his skin, tracing them with her nails. 'I think you're kind. You've always been nice to me, considerate. I can tell you care. You know, after last year and Arash and all…' she stopped to take a deep breath, '...it felt nice to have you.' He felt faint. She wasn't done. 'At Christmas and New Years…I think we're different and there are many things you experienced I can't comprehend and stuff about me that you wouldn't get, but… I don't know, I like spending time with you. And speaking to you.' She looked at him with the end of the sentence. His mouth was dry, he felt a strange ringing in his ear. He debated getting out of there, it all sounded absurd, it sure didn't apply to him. She spoke again. 'Was it too much?' She asked.

He was quick to shake his head, but words were just not coming out of his mouth. She let go of his hand, taking a sip and finishing her half pint. He imitated her. 'I guess…', he began, terrified waiting too long to reply would make her think he didn't somehow feel the same. 'I don't know, would you want to… I…' he stuttered and stopped, like he was checking his surroundings, like he was bracing for impact, '…would you like to go out maybe, to eat…' She had this adorable upside down smile on her face, her eyes glistening. 'Yes, sure.' She said.

He stared at her for a few more seconds, to ensure she wasn't gonna spontaneously combust after saying yes to that date. A date. She looked even more heavenly now, like he saw her under a different light. A date. He heard Gaz's voice behind him, probably coming towards the bar to ruin the moment. There were two women dancing to the music and laughing loudly. He heard the noise fo glass shattering on the floor, as someone dropped his drink. He watched her fix a strand of hair behind her ear, he thought he didn't really care at this point. She was his date.

'Want another beer?'

notes: so so late at night for my standards, apologies if you see any mistakes!! happy chapter, I feel full of love after writing this, too bad I'm gonna start writing the last chapter soon... as I promised hell, hell I will deliver. I feel like now is a good time to announce the follow up series to professional help, THE NIGHT OF THE TARANTULA, which will be posted in the next few months, featuring alba, simon and many others!! can you guess what I will be about?

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[crepesuzette2023]

Thank you for the tag, @pauls1967moustache! My heart is in my fiction, and I'm happy to talk about a bit. <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

15! All within the Beatles fandom (various pairings, but with a focus on J/P).

What’s your total word count?

95,825.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In John's Lap (early days mclennon), play me one of yours (early days, Jim POV on J/P), Brian Manages (Sole Direction) (1968; Brian lives AU/Fix it, mclennon from Brian POV), Serenade in Paul (PWP mclennon), I was the dream weaver (1968/1969 breakup, angst; John POV)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do. I deeply appreciate it when people take the time to let me know their thoughts, or simply that they liked my story—and replying feels like completing a handshake.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Probably I was the dream weaver—there is some hope in the end, but it's a small flame in a dark night. But the love is there.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think Brian Manages, which is only appropriate, since it's a Secret Santa gift (2023). Yes, the story is about saving Lennon/McCartney, but it's mainly about Brian, and it was important to me to give him a happy ending as well.

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet, but I would love to one day! I can't think of any, though...

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut, and I think I tend to write smut with feelings. No specific kinks yet, except...Paul's leg fur and body hair. And his entire spritely gestalt.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware. Brrr.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I'm aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, twice, with @ohjohnnysblog. Thank you, OJ, for holding my hand during my very first fic, Storage Space, and for coming back for Serenade in Paul!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm probably mainly a John/Paul fan, but I have a soft spot for Paul/Mal, and actually enjoy Paul/ any male Beatles-adjacent character, or Paul in a threesome...

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I am determined—*determined!*—to finish my story about Old Man Paul releasing his mclennon dreams/memories on the world. I'm also determined to write a long Woodland Sprite Paul AU. One day.

What are your writing strengths?

I swear I'm not fishing for compliments, but I honestly can't say. I don't hate my writing, I'm just reluctant to analyze myself that way, you know. But if I had to pick one: I think I have the ability to remember, out of all the Beatles stuff I read and saw and thought about, the right detail at the right time while writing. Not as in listing facts, but as in: this would fit nicely here.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English isn't my first language, which in the context of Beatles fic means I'm not your best choice if you're looking for realistic Liverpool dialogue to leap off the page. I wish I had Paul's talent for mimicry...!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

People can do what they want, but if there's entire pages in a language I can't read, and no footnotes to help me, the story isn't for me. Individual words and phrases are a different thing, of course.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

This one! Beatles! McLennon! Paul, you were my first, and I was your billionth!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Breaking news, I think I might try my hand at Peaky Blinders at some point...

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Similar to you, Mo, I love all of mine equally, but I have special love in my heart for the fic that lifted me out of a spell of the writing horrors this fall: Johnny Gentle and His Group, about the Silver Beetles' 1960 Scottish Tour. And, of course, Hurricaneville: leg combing McLennon in 1961!

Tagging, if you’d like @eveepe, @revollver, @m1ssunderstanding, @unchaineddaisychain , @therealsaintscully and @scurator!

[dropthedemiurge]

Hi again!

I'm just here to spread a fun fact:

the break up in LFLS is so much sadder in the novel -

A few hours/days before (When grandma's in the hospital and the mission for choosing between Yeowoon and Grandma appear) Myungha and Yeowoon go peach picking -

Myungha starts his convo where he talks about not knowing HOW to love someone, Yeowoon interprets this as a break up and tells Myungha to stop talking - and Myungha manages to explain himself as Yeowoon sheds a few tears -

Myungha says he will never break up with Yeowoon, (then they almost get caught by security and flee)

After he makes his choice (saving both), his time ticks down to 36 days. He feels dizzy, and Yeowoon catches him. Yeowoon helps him, taking him inside his house and laying him down in a blanket.

After a small while - when the dizziness subsides - Yeowoon feeds Myungha some porridge and asks him what that was all about, but Myungha says nothing.

Myungha begs Yeowoon not to hate him.

Then, seeing his days so low, Myungha knows he has to break up with him that night.

Myungha takes Yeowoon in the train to were he used to live at 29 - they roam the streets, talk about life, eat special food (something that Yeowoon's Grandma used to make Yeowoon eat on rainy days), and sit by the river at night.

Yeowoon is SO excited because he thinks Myungha is finally opening up to him the way he's always wanted — he doesn't even consider this the start of a breakup.

THEY EVEN EAT ICE CREAM BY THE RIVER -

its one of those icecreams with two lolly sticks - they break the icecream in two. Myungha gets the smaller piece, but Yeowoon gives him his bigger peice.

Myungha tries so hard to tell Yeowoon the truth about this being a game, about his missions, and everything else — but he physically cannot because the game-world won't let him.

he then HAS to break up,

at first Yeowoon doesnt believe it, but then he gets angry and kisses Myungha to stop him.

Myungha pushes him away rather harsh, telling him to stop - Yeowoon starts crying, he then gets on his knees with tears, literally begging, saying he'd do anything to get back together - he'll fix himself to what Myungha wants.

Yeowoon grabs on so tight to Myungha's hand, holding it against his cheek with tears dribbling down.

Yeowoon says he loves Myungha and constantly apologises for how he's acting, now and in the past, promising to do better, he just wants to be with Myungha.

Myungha pulls his arm away - it starts to rain again,

his days increase from 36 days to 100 days

===========================================

I find this version so much sadder (and better tbh) because Yeowoon is so excited the whole time, he's giggling and blushing. honestly just soo happy that Myungha was sharing a part of him - this was something Yeowoon had been asking for time and time again.

But the whole thing has sad undertone as Myungha reitteres in his inner dialogue how this would be their last date, their last meal ect.

And unlike the Kdrama where Yeowoon could maybe guess, in this version, it was totally outta nowhere for him,

the way Yeowoon's cute smile drops in the novel in disbelief is the most gut wrenching thing ever.

also the line where Yeowoon says "I know you don't like me the way I do" makes a lot more sense in the context of the novel, where its clear that Myungha is clearly holding himself back from fully investing in the relationship and is honestly more distracted and tense. (he doesnt say how he feels, he doesn't want to kiss Yeowoon, ect)

i wish the drama was longer to add these moments :(

===========================================

Once more, sorry for spamming again and thanks for reading :D

i just needed to share

Stay Safe <3

You are so right IT IS VERY SAD :((

I think the English translation on novel website actually had some of these break up chapters? I definitely remember the illegal peach picking and the underlying sadness ugh Т__Т

And I also wish Kdrama was a bit longer so we could sit with them and make breakup more smooth and logical... but also I still think they worked the novel into it very well. Like, there's that short scene that's absolutely gut-wrenching for me - when they are on a rooftop and Yeowoon is excited, saying 'let's go pick chestnuts in autumn!' and Myungha pauses - what a heavy pause - and only says 'don't forget to take care of yourself' because of immediate doom of the Game. It's different plot-wise but the similar dreadful feeling is there.Т___Т

But also yes, the LFLS novel has so many sad and sweet extra scenes! I wish all of them were adapted in Kdrama version! (and the extension from 36 days to 100 days would make sense, I found Kdrama game mechanics a bit wobbly at the end with that breakup/time with Myungha return/different timeline etc, but probably yes, novel gives it more sense and they had to change it to align with their script)

Thank you for sharing delicious parts from the novel :D I'll share the spinoff in Korean with you as soon as I save the copy!

[encrucijada]

the most interesting part of this textbook on latin i'm reading for class is that it has told me "bless" comes from "*blôdisôjan" derived from "*blôdo" aka blood and meant "spraying with blood from the sacrifice". like if every language class was like this my eyes would be wide awake

[skeletalheartattack]

Subtitles below the keep reading:

Hey you, shut your mouth and look at my paw! DON'T FORGET!! [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] This... Journey... Money... Loads of coins. [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] What-about-her? What-about-her? ... What-about-her? 'She still like me? [Quiet but mostly incomprehensible gibberish about subtitles] O P S O P N O-1 1. Here's the spell: Love the mermaid, for sure! The mermaid is HAPPY! Okay! It's pretty normal for a fish, right? Guuuyyyssss, beeeee caaarefuuulll wiiiiith theeee GIIIIIRRRRLSSS!!! [Incomprehensible] Oh! Silly! Oh yes! Lamb chop boy! [Incomprehensible] [Very quietly, while white noise is playing over it] Goood eevening, aand weeelcome too the shoooowww... [In the background] Ohhh, mooney!

[solradguy]

Some day ASW is going to release a piece of Guilty Gear media that REALLY goes into depth on Gears/Gear cells and I'm gonna translate it in record time. I NEED to know, Daisuke, the secrets of your interdimensional beasts

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

I fratelli Karamazov 1969 [EP1] - Dmitrij & Grušen'ka + misc.

So, I’m doing this. The fact that this drama is so little known breaks my heart, so I feel the need to share what little I can with you all - also because it’s making me crazy and I need to share this insanity, too.

part one (you are here!) | part two | part three

Some sparse notes before I leave this first short transcript under the cut: 1. I am not a professional translator, just an amateur, and my english has been mostly self taught, so you might find some imperfections in the adaptation-- don’t be shy and let me know, I do love to learn new language related things <3; 2. I picked these short scenes because I had never attempted a translation of this magnitude, mostly I just transposed my own writing which is a whole other thing, and I wanted to flex my muscles before doing anything longer and more complex-- for example, if this goes well I’d like to try my hand at the Ivan & Smerdjakov dressing scene or do the whole Great Inquisitor; 3. I tried to translate the closest to the original script as I could -- I say script but, well, I had to do my own transcripts because I can’t find even italian subs -- to mantain the same feeling, again if you want to shoot me a message to discuss choices I would love to talk about it! :); 4. I put timestamps and some very basic and bare stage directions if you just wish to read the script and not follow along with the drama, but I wholeheartedly suggest that you do because the acting is the icing on the cake that makes this adaptation so great; 5. you’ll notice I’m using a different spelling for the names as the common american english one, it is the one I’m most used to and what my translation of The Brothers Karamazov uses, so I decided to keep it-- for my sanity’s sake; 6. there will never exist enough words to express how pissed I am that english doesn’t have a formal you pronoun.

A propos of actors! In these scenes you’ll find: Corrado Pani as Dmitrij Karamazov, Lea Massari as Grušen’ka, Franca Mazzoni as Dmitrij’s housekeeper and Giovanna Galletti as Fenja.

Original script by Diego Fabbri, directed by Sandro Bolchi.

You can follow along with the drama here on YT or here on RaiPlay. The quality is shaky in any case, but I suggest you use RaiPlay (it does as you to make an account but is otherwise free-- and you can just link it to your Google account. It’s also the official source for the drama) as the YT bootlegs I’ve seen have the audio going out of sync after a while.

Now, before we get to the transcripts (under the cut), behold my humor (and why this drama’s so great and why Lea Massari as Grušen’ka owns my entire ass):

[INT. – AT DMITRIJ’S] min. 1:04

(knocking noises; Dmitrij is laying on the bed reading a newspaper)

Dmitrij: Come in! (more knocking noises) – I said, “Come in”!

Housekeeper (enters, carrying an envelope): It’s for you, Dmitrij Fëdorovič (reading the name on the envelope) – Dmitrij Fëdorovič Karamazov.

Dmitrij: Leave it there.

Housekeeper: Where?

Dmitrij: Wherever you like.

Housekeeper: Look, Dmitrij Fëdorovič, I’m leaving it here – it might be important, the man who brought it said, “The sooner he’ll come, the better will be for him.”

Dmitrij: Who said it was important?

Housekeeper: It was a bearded man, he gave me this and left with that warning.

*

[INT. – AT GRUŠEN’KA’S/FOYER ROOM] min. 1:50

Fenja (to Dmitrij): You must wait, Miss Agrafena Alexandrovna is busy; you might sit down in the meantime. 

(to Captain Snergirëv, who just entered) You’re already done, Captain? (he gives a court nod to Dmitrij and leaves without saying anything)

(to Dmitrij, who is barging into Grušen’ka’s study) – hey you! Wait a moment, just a moment!

[INT. – AT GRUŠEN’KA’S/STUDY ROOM] min. 2:12

Dmitrij (enters): Was it you who had me summoned?

Grušen’ka (looks up from her papers): Who are you?

Dmitrij: You don’t know me? I’m Dmitrij Karamazov, I came to–

Grušen’ka: You are Dmitrij Karamazov – well, I have some promissory notes in your name given to me by your father to collect. We’re working together, Fëdor Pavlovič and I, you didn’t know?

Dmitrij: But I don’t owe one ruble to my father – not one ruble! When I was a military officer he lent me money stealing from the inheritance my mother left me… and pretended I signed promissory notes… this is new, eh, Agrafena Alexandrovna? Theft secured by promissory note, a dirty swindle of which I am the victim.

Grušen’ka: Your father knows how to deal in other people’s money like few others.

Dmitrij: It is a sad family story and the protagonist is him – Fëdor Pavlovič! My father! They say you know him well, very well.

Grušen’ka: Your father is greedy, greedy for anything.

Dmitrij: For you, too? – Be careful, he’s a Karamazov, damned even by demons, his soul is stained – me, I’m not a son to him, I’m a dog who hunts in dark hallways, hissing “The law will be on my side, only a judge may decide, the money is mine!”, and so the buffoon makes me look like the perpetrator.

Grušen’ka: The role of the victim doesn’t suit you very much but – you too, I don’t know how to say it, you seem obsessed by something, too.

Dmitrij: I’m a Karamazov too, why should the worms that are corrupting my father spare me instead? (rubs his forehead nervously, sits down on the couch) – I’ve known you for such a short time and already I’m confessing myself, this bothers me, why do I speak to you with such brutality?

Grušen’ka: Because you’re a savage (laughs) – as I am, after all! I’m a peasant, Dmitrij Fëdorovič, eh, don’t be formal with me. Mah, maybe you’re wrong, but maybe you’re right, too, I don’t know; anyway here are your promissory notes, take them, I’m not interested in them anymore.

Dmitrij: No – they belong to the old man, they must be deducted from what he still owes me, return them to him! Thank you… thank you Agrafena Alexandrovna.

Grušen’ka: Call me Grušen’ka – and don’t believe too much in my kindness, no, I can be very greedy too: you see, those who spent a childhood in misery as I have cannot be very soft; they might feel something else, though, another thing…

Dmitrij: –pity?

Grušen’ka: Oh, savages like you are cannot inspire pity – anger, maybe… or–

Dmitrij: –or?

Grušen’ka (calling out): Some tea, Fenja, bring us some tea.

[manchasama]

I am...baffled and disappointed.

I was watching a fansub of the first few Onepiece episodes, and was completely thrown off by them translating nakama as "friend". Like, no? That is not right. Just leave it as nakama please it's so much less offputting than Arlong going "Nami is my friend". That absolutely does not work.

Then on a whim I decided to google what fansubbers would still be using nakama, only to find at some point the fandom became absolutely poisonous about not only the term nakama, but leaving japanese in at all.

"It's a deliberate troll of old fansubbers!" "They just didnt' know how to translate it so they left it in." "It means friend/comrade/crew and they should just have used the REAL word!" "They thought leaving Japanese in made them edgy and cool"

Like...y'all realize YOU sound like the assholes here? Then of course there's the people who are like "You should never leave the japanese in the translation!" purists who I just don't understand. Misconception of words aside, because that is their OTHER argument, if you want it purely english, watch the dub maybe.

There ARE untranslatable concepts, and what I remember is fansubbers used to put their heart and soul into trying to convey the concept instead of literal translations. And sometimes, leaving the original term with a translation of subtleties works better. If you are mad at the fandom for assigning it further meaning beyond that (which I never really...picked up on? Nakama has different meaning for everyone, it's not a one-stop "closer than family" term?? Literally never heard anyone say that except for the people complaining that people say that), then I don't think you like fandom at all.

[longagoitwastuesday]

you seem to have a wide taste in books !! what are some books that you would recommend ??

Hmmm I wonder. I have the feeling I just read the same couple of books over and over, and at times only different iterations of the same story, like in that line by Borges ("the various intonations of a few metaphors").

I find recommending books without knowing anything at all about the person asking rather difficult. What I'd suggest to one may differ greatly from what I'd recommend to someone else. I'll give a list of some of my favourite books that I think are enjoyable in general:

— Thoughts by Pascal

— Cain: a mystery by Lord Byron

— The Iliad by Homer

— Crime and Punishment by Dostoievsky

— Othello by Shakespeare

— Pedro Páramo by Juan Rulfo

— Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand

— The fragments of the Presocratics

— La Regenta by Leopoldo Alas, Clarín

— Tractatus Logico-philosophicus by Wittgenstein

— East of Eden by John Steinbeck

— Vita nova by Dante

— Contributions to the Founding of the Theory of Transfinite Numbers by Georg Cantor

— Caligula by Albert Camus

— North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

— Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie

— Some essays by Russell. I personally love Mysticism and Logic

— Metamorphoses by Ovid

Poetry is perhaps harder to recommend because at times it translates horribly, but in general I love Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Lorca, Juan Ramón Jiménez, Rilke, Byron, Quevedo, Góngora, Lope de Vega, Horace, Catullus, Ovid, Tennyson, Maiakovsky, Garcilaso de la Vega, Oliverio Girondo, Vicente Huidobro, Emily Brontë, T. S. Eliot, Luis Cernuda and Edgar Allan Poe, to name a few.

[lilalilan]

Or I guess. I say that I have it easy comparatively, but that's not entirely true. My name has an English equivalent. I'm pretty sure most people think of them as the same, but they're not.

My name is sharp. Quick and sleek. It means innocence and purity (which I love for the irony of it all). My name is not in English.

The English version of my name is slow and clunky and round. It means nothing in and of itself, although it's derived from a different name that doesn't have a meaning to it. Even if English speakers try to say my name correctly, it's too slow, too clunky. I'd rather they call me by the different, similar, English name than butcher my actual one.

It hurts. Assimilation is a violent process when the individual doesn't want to do it, and people attempting to force my name into their version of it hurts. People claiming they know my name when it's never actually, properly left their mouth hurts. It's not my name or my culture, it's your name and your culture that I am forced to accept because you get annoyed when I tell you it's not my name and that you're saying it wrong when you try to say my name.

I hate that I have to speak your language if I want you to understand. Do you understand what it's like to be forced to translate yourself if you want to be understood, but by the fact of translation never being able to actually be understood? Do you understand what it's like to never be able to exist in your entirety around other people? Do you know what it's like to be refused something as basic as your own name, while being told that this bulbous, noxious thing is the same as your name?

[camillekaze]

please someone tell me how to pronounce astarion's last name my goofy ass is saying ang kunin with a hard accent even if it doesnt make sense h e l p

[amplexadversary]

I like the accessibility, but I’d honestly have expected to see more “fuck you, mine’s better” fanslation takes and I am thoroughly disappointed.

I miss getting a bonus packet of translator’s notes at the end of something as well.

I feel like we've lost something linguistically with the rise of professional subtitles for everything because they just adapt jokes and idioms into their nearest English equivalent and lose cultural context. I miss watching anime in 2002 with subs by some guy who was just really passionate about japanese and would fill half the screen with an in-depth breakdown of why a pun works. I'm serious I want that again.

[the-shape-shifting-system]

French celebratory post

On a eu notre BAC! Vouiiiiiii! Le soulagement du siècle, j'étais convaincu qu'on allait devoir passer au rattrapage, ce que je ne voulais absolument pas car c'est à Montauban (juste à une heure et quelques de chez nous, en plus c'est des oraux :/). On l'a eu mention Bien en plus! Ça par contre c'était pas prévu, vu comment on c'est loupé sur la philo et l'une de nos EDS (enseignement de spécialité) ^^'

Je suis hyper content, c'est franchement génial surtout qu'on va pouvoir faire la formation qu'on voulait dans le supérieur! Yay!

[reflect-force]

there is someone i follow that i want to reach out to and potentially work with on an art project of some sort, they've worked with a lot of other artists so i figure i have a chance

they aren't on here but they are on bluesky. and we're mutuals there! and dms just got added so i can easily just message them!

one problem

we don't speak the same languages lmao